#but i think the right [canon colors] is funnier

[lonely-space-egg]

My favorite version of this redraw is the "old comfort character + new comfort character" variant, so

[instant-bull]

Misc Kakashi headcanons that I like to bestow upon him (depending on a fic I go and hand pick those I enjoy in a particular scenario):

Starting with basic one: Kakashi is trans. Tbh my rule of thumb for it is "Kakashi is trans in every fic, unless stated otherwise". Btw Kishimoto never outrightly said that Kakashi is NOT trans, so he's trans in canon too.

Hatake clan, similarly to Inuzuka clan, share some doglike traits. This is something I see as practically canon due to Kakashi's keen sense of smell and, you know, the fact he hangs out in a pack of dogs as most of his socialisation.

Kakashi has dog teeth. He eats so fast because his jaws are literally not designed to chew well.

Kakashi is colorblind, and sees more or less like a dog (since we can't precisely simulate dog's vision, I just default to giving him protanopia). It is even funnier for me if you consider that Obito WASN'T color blind. Kakashi popped in the Sharingan eye and not only unblocked special abilities, but also new colors.

Speaking of eyesight, I'm a big "Kakashi has amblyopia" truther. Basically amblyopia, or lazy eye, is a condition in which your vision is shifted to constantly be from your dominant eye's POV, with weak reception from the weaker one. Since Kakashi's eyesight in Sharingan eye worsened with time, and also he didn't use that eye for the most part, his vision is right-eye centric. This might or might not have fixed itself when he got a new eye.

Kakashi has IBS (@kakashihasibs). Self explanatory, this man pumps more stress than blood.

Kakashi is generally a weak sleeper, but especislly during full moons (both bc he's a Hatake dog, but also because he's sensitive)

Kakashi gets sick after eating chocolate. dog.

Kakashi's hair is the way that it is because it's practically dog hair. It gets so fluffy and dense because there's a lot of undercoat. It's also nice to think about considering his change in hair in Shippuden: he's slowly healing his years of trauma and subsequent depression, so the blown undercoat snd tidier hair are a visual representation of that (this also allows for cute fic moments where someone helps him brush it all out)

Anyway please talk to me about Kakashi I love this fucking bitch so much

[ntls-24722]

Listened to that new femtanyl song and drew the DJs that came from my head. A mysterious shadowy encounter in earthbound is what I got from it instrumentally, for some reason

A visitor.

Debu and Zebrapeople actually were not aware that the other species(es) were sentient for awhile. The Zebraman/elf perspective I think illustrates itself - "this big lumbering thing living in caves is actually smart like us?" but the Debu one is interesting because Debu have been around for much longer than the modern, sapient zebrapeople species(es). Also, it's a funnier perspective: "Those little things we give our food sometimes are sentient?" It's like if we found out ducks were sentient.

Their eyes have a tapetum lucidum that glows orange-red rather than green, like an alligator. Speaking of Debu eyes, they also have 8 photoreceptors in their eyes - but they're not seeing secret colors that no-one else can. Their vision is just tetrachromatic like a bird, the extra photoreceptors are for distinguishing minute differences in color. It's for distinguishing individuals by mouthglow since it has slight variations in color, and being able to tell the difference in those colors along with vibrancy and size can tell you a lot about the individual - age, physical wellness, size, and even ethnicity.

Also, that Debu on the right is a dude, and because there is no hair, you can see his nips. I made it canon that DJMM's back grommets are Debu nipples, and I will be going to hell for that

[the-real-sasuke-uchiha]

Why are these panels slept on 😂😂😂

These are such good panels

Right, mutual? And it gets even funnier when people get surprised like "how come you like Itachi as a Sasuke fan?". Well, see, it's right there, Sasuke would canonically chidori the hell out you for badmouthing Itachi, so who am I to contradict him?

Anyway, thank you for reminding me of these panels, mutual. I can't imagine Sasuke's pain here, listening to those idiots talking while knowing nothing, serving a military regime from the most absolute ignorance of its true colors, speaking about money in reward while Sasuke is bleeding in pain for his beloved brother. Even if they knew nothing, come on. Sasuke lost all his loved ones, you think he was seeking revenge to get money? Please, what is wrong with these people.

There are so many layers of evil here. Konoha massacring the Uchiha was not evil enough, they had to use one of their own to pretend they destroyed themselves. They had to disrespect their memory, destroy Itachi, manipulate Sasuke to kill the person he loved the most, keep him in the dark forever... All so Konoha would remain as the "good guy" in this conflict. It is so enraging and unfair. I have no words.

They should have all been set on fire. Konoha's elders, Konoha bootlickers. And Obito too, what the hell. He is there trying to act all chill and protective of Sasuke, when he is also guilty of his misery. To the hell with them all.

[fandomsofadistractedwriteblr]

Rangers Apprentice Fantasy Headcanons if John Flanagan Actually Committed to the Bit

Ranger's oakleaf pendants are enchanted by the commander to be a tiny beacon of warmth whenever an apprentice/mentor duo are nearby to each other, and this persists even after the apprenticeship ends. This makes the game of Gilan trying to sneak up on Halt way funnier because the pendant warming is a dead giveaway, and makes Halt giving up his oakleaf to go find Will a much bigger deal because now there's no way to tell if he's getting "warmer" to finding him. When Horace becomes known as the oakleaf knight, his shield is enchanted too because he's basically an honorary brother to will let's be real.

The rule of "The cloak isn't magic, training is everything, trust the cloak" still applies, because they're not perfectly illusory, but they do shift color and pattern throughout the year to match the changing seasons.

Where do the wargals go after Morgarath is killed??? Do they all just die spontaneously? Run off a cliff like lemmings?? Get mass executed by the araluens? No! They've got a tragic history of being semi-intelligent war-slaves. Let me see a few refugee ones make their way to Malcom's camp along with the rest of the "freaks" he takes in, and be given a home, and have Will reconcile his (very valid and traumatic) fears of dealing with them before with the fact that they had no control over the situation back then.

On that note just let Malcom be an honest to the gods sorcerer, he deserves it.

When they're chasing the Kalkara in book 1, they pass through this plain with singing flutes. What's the deal with that?? I think this is a religious practice for a god. We know the Skandians practice a polythestic religion but only get superficial information. I want to know more about the rest of the world and I want Details Please and Thank You. A singing shrine for local spirits is such a cool worldbuilding concept that is left totally unexplored.

The ranger horses can still be a special breed that Halt stole from the Arridi, but they're semi-intelligent mythical creatures in their own right with a history full of lore. Give them a better reason for their mannerisms beyond just "good training". Every once and a while Tug pulls out some whacky power and Will's like "HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING THAT ONE." This is already canon.

It's been a while since I read books 5 and 6 where Alyss got kindapped that one time, but I vaguely remember there was this one hypnotizing jewel. She takes that idea and brings it back to the diplomats to research, refine, reproduce, and use. They start wearing them as necklaces to subconsciously influence the people they're talking to to agree with them on diplomatic missions. Lady Pauline strikes me as the type of person to not shy away from a little harmless mind control. After all she married Halt "forging a king's seal is totally ok" O'Carrick so the moral compass is. A bit wobbly.

Jenny's cooking position is also a secret potioneering apprenticeship and she send Gilan off with tons of healing potions because she worries about him coming home safe. After hearing about what happens to Will in Skandia, and what happens to Halt in Halt's Peril, she makes it her life's mission to develop antidotes to warmweed and other addictive/poisonous substances so that no one has to suffer those withdrawl effects and symptoms again.

Morgarath had a fancy enchanted necromancer sword that he used in the battle, and when Horace uses the double knife defense to block and kill him, the power translates to those two daggers. He doesn't use them ever, but carries them with him in case he's ever really. REALLY. desperate and also because he doesn't trust anyone else to keep them. Eventually, he gives one to Evelyn/Cassandra so she can keep herself safe in case of emergency and then they have cute evil matching couple knives <3

[transingthoseformers]

Funniest Possible "Parents" for Tarn/Damus/Glitch that ignores timelines and ages and reproduction for amusement.

MegOP, classic, divorced, Optimus originally had custody until Megs got him and he wound up hating both by the end. Especially in TFP.

ShockOP, tragic, Orion Pax got custody his sugar daddy's kids when he mysteriously vanished, and one of them decided to join a group dedicated to destroying the government that erased Shockwave. The "your aren't my dad vibes are imaculate".

Rodiclash, the absolutely funniest reason for Damus to have originally been those colors. Also, making him younger and the baby of the DJD is hilarious conceptually. Also he's personal grudge against Thunderclash is a mistaken thought on Hot Rod's part that Thunderclash ran out on them when in reality his eveil second in command hid it leading to the break up and Roddie becoming a single parent. If he's father is "the Greatest Autobot Ever" clearly being and Autobot isn't worth much. The Lost Light is the Daddy Issue onion.

Minimus x OG Ultra Magnus, the absolute regency drama aesthetics of this and the shock and reveal would be great, and both Tarn and Minimus would be hilarious to deal with this emptionally strained revelations. Dominus pegging Tarn as his nephew and kidnapping him because he did the math and "who fucked his little brother, ran out on him, and lead to this"? Suddenly that summer abroad makes sense. Funnier if original Ultra Magnus is alone and Dominus highjacks the DJD to track him down and have a family reunion while the DJD awkwardly tries to be supportive and are confused why Vos is so murderous. Minimus, meanwhile, is having a tearful reunion with the child he gave up for adoption, thinking he'd have a better life only to find out his life wasn't great while Tarn is going through all sorts of emotions and tears up as well. Vos meanwhile has cornered Ultra Magnus saying "he just wants to talk." Adds an interesting layer to Minimus's thing with Ultra Magnus.

Ultra Magnus x Hot Rod, TFP, Ultra Magnus showing up with Hot Rod and their mildly evil baby.

RodiSound, Cyberverse. Everyone trying to figure out how to tell the mourning Rodimus, he's widow baby with Soundwave looks just like a miniature version of the guy who tried to take over Cybertron.

G1 GalvRod. Hilarious.

You're so right though

Megop divorce child Damus is always interesting yep yep

OO ON SHOCKOP WITH GLITCH BECAUSE THAT'S BAAAAASICALLY CANON. It's basically canon. Basically.

OWO on rodiclash baby Tarn, because that would have all the implications considering Tarn. Just... Considering Tarn.

The Lost Light is the Daddy Issue onion

Indeeeeed

The idea of Minimus having known the original UM has interesting implications and symbolism considering what goes down later on, and I am also gifted the idea of beastformer!Tarn who would be beautiful. Dominus would have such an interesting role in it too. Yesss.

IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS FOR TFP MAGS TO SHOW UP WITH A SILLYGOOFY BOYTOY AND A MILDLY EVIL BABY.

Having Damus/glitch/Tarn as a Cyberverse Soundrod baby would be mildly hilarious because you can argue he explicitly named this kid after the guy who tried to kill them all out of spite. You can argue for reincarnation here considering how it was Soundwave that took Cyberverse Tarn out of the world, and you can argue that it was Soundwave and Rodimus who proceeded to bring him back into it. raise him right this time.

Another suggestion: tfp wavewave child Tarn. He's their passion project in so many ways of the word.

aNOTHER SUGGESTION: earthspark Glitch/Damus who was adopted/fostered by Megatron for a while. We follow with my one idea where his design is more like his "Glitch" era design but a little more eldritch

[eyelessfog]

Hi everyone, it's me, L's sibling! Guess what we made! Zombieland Saga x My Little Pony AU where the mane 6 and some others are shoved into the roles of FranChouChou and some other major characters! Also I know they would be human-like the way they are in Equestria Girls(but probably better designs) but I want to take a moment to think about ponies dancing onstage the way our beloved undead idols do.

First up!! Roles!! (and some funny thing to think about)

Twilight is Sakura I think this is pretty obvious. Main character, friendship, bla bla. Most importantly, Twilight motherfucking Sparkle getting hit by a truck IMMEDIATELY

Rainbow Dash is Saki Also very obvious, possibly more obvious than Twilight as Sakura. Race, biker, go fast, swears(because I believe with all my heart that if she could, Rainbow Dash would swear), went out in a blaze of glory(twice), multi-colored hair. Basically, the sporty, rude, loud one. Funny things to think about.... went out in a blaze of glory twice. Had an epic rap battle with "Twilight Princess" as L has called her.

Applejack is Ai Keeps to herself sort of, kind of done with the others, the one who actually thinks. Not in a nerd way but with a proper understanding of the real life situation they're in instead of book stuff or the ones who dont think at all. Knows how to work in a group. Smacked Kotaro in the face with a baguette and will fuck his ass up(this will be even more hilarious once you find out who Kotaro is)

Fluttershy is Junko. Shy as hell, gets called a loner, your average <:3 girlie, woman who ran away from getting her picture taken. She gets to obliterate a guitar that belongs to Kotaro(once again, this will become 100x funnier when you find out who Kotaro is)

Rarity is Yugiri This is actually the one that started this all off. L heard Rarity sing in A True, True Friend. Rarity my favorite girl that has now slept with many men and killed a guy once and died for it, but she'd do it again(and says so). Shes also from the Meiji era.

Pinkie Pie is Lily Forever positive and fun loving party girl! Made to be on a stage!! This does make Pinkie and 10 year old [it's L from now on hi guys] but i mean look at them. they make sense. pinkie is the only one who would ever be able to rewrite a song, remake her outfit and then also choreograph a dance that immediately became a tiktok sensation. pinkie transgender canon also

Nightmare Moon [luna] is Tae Girliepop who is herself but fucked up and strange and bites people. It's like. nightmare moon if nightmare moon was Not Luna in a different way from being possessed. just trust me on this its good okay. shes best friends with twilight and at one point grabs her face and goes rag rahahrah rah and twilight goes youre so right. that was so sweet. thank you i love you moon

Spike is Romero Doggy. bork bork bork

Celestia is Kotaro bossman, specifically focuses on twilight, looks like they should be cool but they're the cringiest people you've ever seen, also just all of this. yeah he sucks ass more than she does but she can suck like as a person. for fun. also now she does a talent show trying to do an impression of a mudkip and i can think of few ponies more likely to do that shit

Discord is Jofuku Old man with powers. thats it.

SciTwi is MeiMei one off character who accidentally tripped into the secret of the main guys and uhh she wears glasses and cant see and she gets to be part of the team Once. good for her i guess.

[aquilamage]

As promised, pre-playing Downpour iterator vibes drawins. Starting out with the 'no current canon designs' crew:

They're mostly in orange because I started this thinking they might just all be in matching robes (7RS in a different color just for contrast). I did leave out Sliver of Straw because she's the only one I didn't have anything in mind for. Unparalleled Innocence depicted based on that one pearl mentioning them attempting to roast Five Pebbles in the groupchat.

Also bonus 7RS talking to Five Pebbles based on my love for their "Also, not saying that you're not ~" line. little shit (affectionate)

And then No Significant Harassment (who I also didn't initially have any ideas for and was very saved by hunter ascension ending (If it's somehow not them no one tell me. it'll be funnier when I find out later).) with some Hunter stuff.

(I'm still very happy my 'Hunter postal worker' thought turned out to be right. Had to fit a drawing of them with the little outfit in something ^^)

The dynamics of the shapes in their canon image felt like they had a sash or some kind of extra loose fabric to their outfit. Also kitty-cat bothering shenanigans.

[junk-thrillz]

cody x ed (looks around rapidly...who said that...i didnt say that...) they both are chasing after other people (their approval, their trust, for their protection [[if not for their protection, their trust, if not always their trust, for their protection]]- isabel and jeff) only to find themselves and one another accidentally and incidentally. Ft. ed poorly drawing out spirits for cody to see. ft have they even interacted in canon dont dont ask me that . watching lightning bugs at night. missing and transformed moms. one who is never truly family, and finds freedom without purpose, one who is stuck with family and looses free will. the true perks/punishment of a small town is that one random guy in your middle school class suddenly becoming the guy you always knew in highschool. color palletes that look cool together. Bye

No no come back, I want to hear more-

AND YOU KNOW WHAT!! It doesn't mattered that they've barely interacted in canon!! The world is our oyster!! They're canonically friends!! I think that's part of why they're so appealing to me as a pair. Like, what's their story? How did they become friends? How do they talk to each other? What do they talk about? It feels right to see them next to each other, or even just in the same scene, but there's so little canon material about them to go off of that I wonder why I get that feeling about them. There's so much left unanswered about their dynamic and I WANT TO KNOW!! I want them to have a moment alone together!!

I think it's easy to forget, sometimes, that Ed has an entire friend group separate from the Activity Club, a group with people who they actually have a lot of chemistry with. Because we have very few scenes in comic where we actually get to see that group in action. But they are!! They are friends!! And I want to see Cody and Ed hang out even if it isn't in a romantic context!! (But also it being in a romantic context would be cool too-)

I already shipped them on account of my belief that their entire friend group has something gay going on, but your ask is making me realize how perfect they are as a thematic pair. I can't help but latch onto the comment you made about their families... how neither Cody nor Ed have probably never been to the other's house, because their situations are both less-than-ideal in wildly different ways. The way Cody and Ed have the potential to understand in each other in a unique way, but also have the potential to miss each other like two ships passing in the night.

I've actually written Cody x Ed fic before. Just for you (and everyone else who ends up seeing this post), I'll post it under a Read More. It was written mere months before the reveal that Cody's heart isn't in his chest, so it's been thoroughly decanonized... but that also makes it funnier to look back on. We really had no idea huh? Anyway, here's some short Cody x Ed.

Cody’s heart beat slower than the others’. Ed knew why. Ed knew why, but they weren’t sure they liked the reason. There was always that fear, that someone like the Cousinhood would come to take Cody away. That Cody’s dad, an example of what a spectral could become, represented what Ed could become. That someday, maybe the Cousinhood would take everyone away. 

Ed sighed, adjusting their legs so that they wouldn’t fall asleep. Strewn out half on top of, half beside Cody, head resting against his chest so that they could hear his slow, rhythmic pulse, Ed had never felt so peaceful and so nervous at the same time.

Cody opened his eyes for a moment, to peer at Ed with stupidly blue eyes. “That can’t be comfortable, with your glasses on like that.”

Ed hummed. Cody was right. It wasn’t. But Ed was in a sort of trance; they didn’t want to stop listening to Cody’s heartbeat. They didn’t want it to peter out, while they weren’t paying attention. It was just too slow.

One of these days, Ed would ask Cody to listen out for their heartbeat, too.

[cxffeeink]

MORE NOLI OCS

[ ☀ ] Maybe I should do this more often--- drop like a somewhat colored sketch and then a BUNCH of sketches

Anyway !! On your right would be Marisol Dimayuga and potential love interest, Phillip Escheverria ( they make my heart hurt but more on that later. soon ), I know my anatomy is really wonky--- I find it funny how I sketched most of these in school

[ 🍂 ] THINGS YOU MUST KNOW

Marisol's parents are Elias and Salome Dimayuga ( Elias took Salome's last name because of all the tragedy surrounding his family--- he believed it was ill luck + Salome has a surname from Batangas despite being from Mindoro because her father was from the first province teehee + you can see how much time I spent thinking about this )

Marisol is canonically SIX FEET AND ABOUT NINE INCHES TALL. It's even funnier to think about because there is a certain rumor in San Diego ( there are far too many about her small family to count, from her father being a bandit to her mother being a sorceress from the islands--- she isn't entirely sure which are false ) stating that Marisol is really just a giant and her mother is a goddess or something ( in Filipino folklore, I think humans and deities make giants, which I found super interesting )

she is into art and hyper-realism while sketching + she prefers charcoals and pencils over paint but will make an exception with oil paint, PLUS she is very good at math + carrying stuff around and doing "heavy" chores

she has a sort of ghostly connection w her aunt, Elias's twin sister--- she often sees her ghost hanging around the house with a bout of roses growing in her chest it's spooky

she loves her parents, her brother Amihan, and the friendship she finds with Victoria Ibarra and her siblings ( they make me so 💕💕💕 )

I'LL STOP YAPPING NOW BUT YEAH HUAHAHAHAHA

[quietwingsinthesky]

📚🍬🔪🦷

what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? 

(oh, it’s this little bit i’d completely forgotten about that i think i scribbled down immediately after finishing hellbent.)

“And what color were Clara’s eyes?” the Doctor asks, slipping it into the rhythm of their conversation like any other question. Even’s fingers drum against the metal of the staircase they’ve seated themself on, two soft thuds of flesh and two clacks from parts that aren’t very good at pretending to be fingers anymore. They tip their head to the side.

“You don’t want my memories of her, Doctor.” Even drums again. One-two, three-four. “We weren’t exactly friends.”

“Nonsense. You’d have loved Clara,” he says it on reflex. He waits for something to follow, some internal feeling that he’s correct in his assumption or entirely off base. Nothing comes.

“You loved Clara,” Even corrects, gently. It sounds like pity, and it grates.

“See? You’re already telling me things.”

“You knew that already,” Even says. “You knew, or you wouldn’t be asking in the first place.” They shift forward, crossing their arms over their knees. “Please don’t ask,” they whisper.

Post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character.

Well, let me set up my usual fallback of Supernatural to allow me wiggle room for my Doctor Who take, but: my unpopular opinion is that Jack is an adult. He’s treated as an adult in canon. Making him into a child in canonverse stuff will have me squinting in suspicion for most people. obviously, not my trusted and beloved mutuals who are Understanders (and. more importantly. who I know are not harboring some unexamined ableist ideas.) but. everyone else does not get a pass and will be gazed upon with disdain :D actually, the bigger crime of making Jack a child and simplifying him is that you’re being boring, the fun of him comes from how messed up his situation is and how his sudden jump to adulthood is both horrifying but also one of the few ways he can grasp at control.

anyway, that’s a settled hot take in place so that i can say one for doctor who that im not sure is a hot take or not because i don’t know the fandom as well. but anyway, it’s that 90% of eleven and river’s scenes together did such a disservice to both of their characters that it actively uninvested me in the romance they were trying to sell. I feel like i may have said this before, but it’s like there’s a switch they flip when it’s time for the episode’s mandated eleven and river flirting time where they both turn into much more generic characters acting in ways that feel very ooc so that the show can. i don’t know, really. create tension, I suppose? But the tension falls flat because they aren’t acting like themselves so you can’t get invested in this relationship because it doesn’t feel like it’s being built off of them connecting. And it really stands out as just, truly awful, because you’ll also have some fantastic scenes actually exploring their relationship and the effects it has on both of them, the positive and the negative, and yes, I am talking about the broken wrist scene from Angels in Manhattan again because i wish all of elevenriver was like that, and it’s not, and i’m mad about it-!

what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

okay, i know it says research but it is much funnier to me if i just say that. sometimes. you need to describe a character touching something and you need the physical stimuli in your hands to really describe it, right? right. understandable. okay, so going from that, sometimes you need your character to say, lick a chair and describe that, and you realize you have no idea how to because how would you know what licking a chair is like? and then you look at your dining room chair from across the room. and you have to make a decision here. about what matters more to you. your dignity or your accuracy.

and if you’re a good writer, i think accuracy always wins.

share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

breathing exercises are bullshit. you need to find a chant. you need to find something you can memorize and then when you feel yourself getting anxious, you need to start repeating it over and over and over. anything at all. what matters is that you’re saying it, out loud, and you can hear yourself saying it and you need to like the words so you’re focusing on what you’re saying, and this will save you. When I was in middle school, I did exorcisms. In high school, I’d repeat monologues from Hannibal to myself. Nowadays, I’m usually using the “heart. lungs. liver. nerves.” chant from slay the princess because it is short and ominous in a way that can be funny after a few repetitions and helps laugh the anxiety out of me.

and in a pinch, if you don’t have anything memorized, pull up the nearest piece of written text you have and start reading it out loud and don’t stop reading it until you’re calm again, and keep going a little after that just to make sure. Could be a fanfic you’ve got on your phone or could be an actual book. I’d reccomend the Iliad, because half of that book is just reciting name after name after name and you will start to hear how ridiculous it is rather than hearing your own anxiety, and it’ll help. you say “so and so brought 50 ships and he was the son of that guy who was king of this. and also this other dude, son of yet another guy we will never mention again, friends with holy shit another guy-“ and eventually you’re going to start giggling your way out of an anxiety attack.

[ficklefandom]

when she doesn’t catch you 😔

[blackgirlsuperherorants]

Stuckys, we need to talk. Like, seriously.

I understand you're upset that Stucky is not canon in the MCU, but you have got to stop yourselves from using that fact to shit all over Black characters just because of their newfound proximity to Bucky Barnes. Seriously. No, seriously. I'm going to call a bunch of you out, now, but I hope you listen and take heed.

1) This isn't about queer representation for you. It's about Chris and Sebastian being hot white men and you wanting to see them make out on screen. And that's literally fine, who doesn't want to see that? But you need to start admitting that's what it is. Because if it wasn't about that, and it was really about queer representation, so many of you wouldn't be calling Sam Wilson "sloppy seconds", and y'all wouldn't treat both Sam and Anthony like an afterthought. Even with a lot of y'all becoming Sambucky shippers, you're doing it under the guise of Sam being some sort of consolation prize because Bucky can't have Steve. Sam has no agency, and also is treated like he isn't as good. Literally, I saw a TikTok with some girl pretending to be Bucky and Sam, and having Bucky literally tell Sam he's sloppy seconds because he can't have Steve. Literally yikes, guys.

Also, it's always girl fans who do this. I'm not saying there aren't any, but I never see gay men who are MCU fans shipping in this toxic way. And I definitely have seen gay men ship Stucky, but I swear to God there seems to be a clear difference in the way they ship vs the white girls who clearly just want to watch Chris and Sebastian make out. Literally every toxic Stucky I've ever seen who does stuff like this is a white girl. I'm not going to say no gay men are toxic fans, because there probably are some, but the amount of fans I see shitting on Sam who are white girls far outweighs any toxic Stucky gay man. Like I always say on here, Stucky is an obvious ship and I understand why people ship it, but it never had to be canon and treating it like it's the end all be all, and especially shitting on other ships like Sambucky, is really weird and, again, makes it obvious that it's not really about queer representation for you.

2) Bucky is allowed to flirt with Sarah Wilson. The same girl I saw saying Sam was "sloppy seconds" also said Bucky was only flirting with Sarah because she's an "extension of Sam", and because Kevin Feige won't let Sambucky happen so Sarah is the stand in. How insulting and sexist to insinuate that a woman is simply an extension of her male family member. No matter how you meant it, that's a really sexist notion. I've seen people make funnier jokes, like Bucky can't decide which Wilson sibling he likes, or he's going to become a Wilson one way or another. Neither of those jokes takes autonomy and humanity away from Sarah. ALSO, Sarah is a dark skinned Black woman being portrayed as desirable to the white boy fave on a major TV show that is part of the biggest film franchise in the world. I'm not sure if y'all know how much colorism effects Black women, especially dark skinned Black women. Hollywood almost never casts dark skinned Black women as desirable love interests. Especially one that isn't super modelesque with basically European features and bone straight hair. This is a positive thing for representation of dark skinned Black women, and I KNOW you've seen how happy Black girls were just seeing that 2 second interaction. How dare you reduce it to being there because Marvel stole your Stucky, and especially not because she's simply "an extension of Sam." At this point, there's no clear indication that Sarah and Bucky will literally happen, but goddamn, you can't let Black girls be a love interest for just one second? Even if you like "queer Bucky", bisexual men exist, damn. Sticking Bucky with Sharon for no reason, like they did with Steve, would have been weird and bad and you would have been more valid for questioning Marvel's motives for doing it, but letting Bucky be himself and flirt with a cute girl on a boat for 2 seconds isn't a bad thing. And if Sarah does actually become his girlfriend, it's an absolute win, and you need to let Black girls have this.

Like, I get Stucky, and I also understand wishing Marvel would just finally let any main character be actually queer. I seriously understand. But can you complain about that without shitting on the Black characters and the fans who are happy about them, right now?

I never was a fan of Stucky, because I don't think you have to have romantic feelings for someone to care about them that deeply, so I don't understand the Stucky shipper assertion that Marvel somehow stole something owed to them... but I also do understand why you ship it, and it's honestly not a bad ship. You guys just take it too far and make things uncomfortable for everyone else. And, as I've been saying for years, sometimes you make it lowkey racist. People have been shipping Stevesam since CA:TWS and you guys have downplayed it the entire time, and even used Sam as Steve's stand-in for Bucky in your fics and all of that. I remember reading fics tagged Stevesam where Steve would be having sex with Sam and then reminiscing about how it was with Bucky and wishing he were still with him, and y'all literally never saw how gross that was. Using Sam like a consolation prize. Now Steve is gone and you're still treating him like that.

And Sam and Bucky have never once treated each other like a stand-in for Steve. They treat each other like individuals with autonomy, and they even care for each other on the level that the other person needs it. It's actually really fucking good, the canon version of their relationship that's unfolded with the show. If y'all could let go of Steve for a second, literally, you would see how great Sambucky's dynamic is and that neither of them would ever see the other as "sloppy seconds" or some kind of consolation prize. It's gross.

Also, I hope Sarah gets that super soldier dick just to piss y'all off.

I'm done.

[hopeswriting]

hi, byakuwan here (again) - have you ever thought about an arcobaleno/vongola guardians roleswap AU?

hey there! (oh don't even worry about it, you can drop in my inbox as often as you want. 🥰)

i can’t say i have! i wrote a post once about the arco as tsuna’s guardians, and i have a role swap au wip, but this specific role swap never crossed my mind before. i think it’s a super fun one tho!

so like, do we swap everything? including their ages? because the idea of kid!arco--middle schoolers!arco is really sending me lmao. it’s like, the absolute mayhem that is sure to come with that, you know? just eight unhinged, feral little menaces of gremlins children, running around and causing problems to everyone but them wherever they go, and never feeling sorry or doing anything about it. AND killing people, we can’t forget the killing.

because they’d be all mafia too, right? WAIT NO them being civilians too at first, and still already being little menaces à la hibari would make this so much funnier actually. and THEN when the mafia stuff comes around they like, Do Not blink at it. are on board with it instantly. and not even because they get to kill people, tho they definitely thought about killing people before, but like. GUNS. cool suits. cool rings. MONEY. being above the law. RAINBOW COLORED MAGICAL FLAMES. and getting to rule over the mafia worldwide too they guess.

(they absolutely Do Not realize what they’re getting into when they instantly agree to it, but do they care? they don’t.)

on that note i think they’d totally be on board with inheriting vongola too. except, like. they’d want to, but wouldn’t actually be interested in it, if you know what i mean. like, they couldn’t care less about ruling, but you goddamn bet they do want to be rulers, and, of course, they make it vongola’s problems entirely lol.

AND THE WHOLE VARIA ARC DEBACLE OMG ZSFDGBDSDF!!! okay listen, listen, they’d cheat right back so blatantly and unapologetically, and without an ounce of shame. they’d just play so dirty too, they wouldn’t give a shit about the rules or cervello or whatnot. and like, these middle schoolers? i can believe they win against an elite team of hitmen without undermining said elite team of hitmen’s skills.

AND NOT NONO SURVIVING THE WHOLE THING WITHIN AN INCH OF HIS LIFE IN THIS AU LMAO. and the arco still cannot make themselves care about it. skull just wants his cool robot to work again so he can keep tearing into it. xanxus regrets all of his life choices. NONO regrets all of his life choices. the arco are having so much fun, hell yes.

but ahem, yeah, so that was about guardians!arco lol. arco!10th gen is just as much fun to think about tho!

like, how does it work? does the whole curse thing goes smoother or worse? do they fall apart after the curse too, were they closer before it happened? how do they cope with it, if at all? oh yeah and also! what are they even the strongest/greatest of?

okay but about them coping (or not) with the curse tho. idk why but i feel like they’d generally be better at it than the canon!arco. tsuna tho? he just snaps. and i’m not sure why i’m so certain about it, but he definitely Does Not take the curse well. at all. he’s so angry about it, it’s just the last straw, and then his lack of coping afterwards is ugly and ruthless. i really don’t know why, but i just feel like tsuna would be mammon in this scenario, just relentlessly doing everything he can to free himself from the curse.

but on a more lighthearted note, i feel like tsuna at the very least wouldn’t have purposefully tried to become one of the strongest, you know? honestly he couldn’t care less about it, but it just still kind of happens entirely despite his best efforts to keep living a quiet and peaceful life, and THEN he gets fucking cursed because of it?? i just think it’s hilarious that even with this role swap, tsuna still Did Not Want, Did Not Fucking Ask and is So Fucking Done with everything that’s happening to him lmao.

and then he hunts kawahira down for sports, as a treat.

(okay but also, who do you think become vongola decimo and the arco tutor in this scenario??)

[polarisbear]

oh fuck right au post

april fools au but sideways

(i will note literally anything except the group comps are subject to change)

these group swaps based on the april fools ones mostly come from my… dissatisfaction with them. i mean that’s a weird thing to say about a one off joke but clearly there was some thought put into it just not any thematic ones which gets a lil awkward. also why did you put all the boys in one group. no get them out spread them apart that’s literally the most boring option. so, i think these combos are funnier and have like some workable story. that’s it.

swap! leo/need

shizuku on drums (leader)

airi on bass

ena on guitar

tsukasa on keytar

theme of this group: regain lost childhood! because holy fuck! their aesthetic is based on like visual kei maybe i haven’t decided but i did want to make glam rock miku so we’ll adjust.

original name was i think oneiroi (god of dreams) for a Couple reasons but i decided to scrap that. oniiroi was a good pun though.

anyways, this group formed the same way the original april fools group did, though shizuku actually suggested it to airi and they pulled in ena and tsukasa from kami high. everyone’s backstories also remain more or less the same, bar the fact that saki instead watched just, the sickest keytar solo and tsukasa went “hell yeah time to make my baby sister happy with sick piano riffs”.

“you shoved 4 of the 6 second years in this group how is anyone alive” well champ. i thought they needed the breather from Chronic Older Sibling Syndrome

i mostly think the friendship dynamics in this one are sweet and fun and i don’t know enough vocaloid songs to make it work but i do want them to be consistently just going ham on their songs. just going all in on these hard as hell rock songs. they deserve it. they have the vocal chops.

this is their vent session is what i’m trying to convey. ena and airi are staring at tsukasa and shizuku going “are you. going to talk” and they both start dodging the question

swap! more more jump!

kanade as the composer (leader)

shiho

an

akito

theme of this group: just like the most ill-suited people for japanese idol work. hope is still delivered, the climb upwards is still constant. i really like the mmj outfits (this person has a magical girl bias) but like vibe wise for this group i’d probably go for a kpop idol group look. which is unpopular in japanese marketing but still

i wanted to do a pun on “messenger” but that didn’t pan out, so penumbra is a tentative placeholder. this is specifically in reference to kanade’s name and shiho’s names (a penumbra can both refer to a partial lunar eclipse and the outer edges of a sunspot), and just. overall the group could be summed up as “almost enough” yeah? there’s also the belief that eclipses are when communication opens up due to celestial bodies lining up so it fits

this group forms in an extremely complicated way ngl but an and akito’s goal is still to surpass rad weekend (in a different way. this might be undermining their integrity as musicians if i’m being honest) and they’re a bit. bitter about things. shiho is similarly bitter at her sister though things are still pretty close to canon things just got changed a little. kanade’s backstory is exactly the same and how she gets into the group is also just like the april fools version where she was just going to compose the group’s songs in the background but she got pulled in the spotlight instead. the group finds a lot of inspiration from kanade. secretly.

this was like one the first groups i wanted to changed and swap, mostly because of 1) there’s too many cool colors in the april fools swap! hell! kanade is dying in the warm color gang. akito’s here to break that up a little. and 2) i wanted the boys to Not be relegated to one group, that felt… insulting. slightly smaller reason is that i’m pretty sure akito is a canon idol fan so while i think he’d be embarrassed and not Enjoying his masculinity being “tarnished” by the public, i still think he’s doing okay. something about those “i put akito in a mmj video to torture him” videos rub me the wrong way.

the baggage gang. so much. so much in fact their miku initially calls them “the worst idol candidates i’ve ever seen. kanade at least shows some promise, she wants to have people with her music, ‘hope’ is just another form of that. you can’t treat idol-hood as just a different avenue for your pipe dreams.”

shiho’s pissed. akito’s pissed. an isn’t really but something starts gnawing at her.

anyways this all an excuse to get akito’s banjo of a voice to sing happy synthesizer

swap! wonderlands x showtime (happiness sentai sunny sunny ⭐️ wonder)

emu, the candy phoenix (leader)

kohane, the hamster phoenix

haruka, the penguin phoenix

mafuyu, the snow phoenix

theme of this group: the fight for happiness is hard, but we need to protect the smiles of the world from the evil despair! if this sounds like a magical girl premise it is. precure is just a sentai show

no notes this group is perfect 10/10, i just wanted to lean into the “sentai” part of their name. if i ever get the energy to i’d like to redesign their outfits to be sentai outfits because like Maybe that breaks the fairytale theme pheenieland has but i don’t care. i want cheese

same as canon, a little more permanently though, because like. yeah.

this plays out like a precure season but with better character writing, so every event they defeat the bad guys (old traumas and history haunting each other) and learn a moral at the end! (everyone’s smiles become a bit more real and emu worries a little less)

swap! vivid bad squad

saki on synth (leader)

ichika on guitar

mizuki on special effects

rui on dj-jig

theme of this group: childhood friends stumble into the brand new world of street music and fashion! investigate the mysteries of shibuyu and vivid street together as you dance around your baggage!

this one was made because i switched some people and everyone got grouped up here but hey i think this works! two sets of childhood friends, partner edition!

basically we take all their casual outfits and crank them up to 11 in a specific fashion subculture, like ichika is full on pink now, saki leans harder into old school hime gyaru, mizuki goes all in on the lolita look, and rui really looks like a 2000’s scene kid.

what they actually do is preform shows (dj4dj style) where mizuki and rui are in the back supporting ichika and saki preforming in the front.

i think they all spend their spare time solving urban mysteries together both the silly and real. top of the list is “who were the rising stars of vivid street, and why did they abandon it and rad weekend?” occasionally ichika wonders if that curiosity should be directed inward towards their little group but she isn’t… sure if she should pry.

swap! nightcord at 25:00

minori as the idol stan (leader)

honami as the home ec teacher

nene as the gamer

touya as the music theory knower

theme of this group: all of their dreams have been destroyed and it’s coping time! they talk about their hobbies at 1 am and yearn

i like to think sometimes nene and toya get into an autism music special interest feedback loop and honami is just smiling while minori is losing it trying to keep up with them.

because they only talk at 1 am there’s a very deep melancholy permeating through all their chats. minori is the only one to actively talk about her dreams but even she dodges directly talking about it by talking about idols instead. toya doesn’t… have a lot to talk about since he doesn’t have akito to hang out with so he just talks about the arcade. nene talks about her games which everyone tries to understand but once she gets into meta gaming all hope is lost. honami gives them all a lot of housework advice and they all love it when both honami and minori send in their dogs. but in general it’s… a bit quiet.

their sekai costumes reference what their sekai costumes would look like if their dreams where being chased, except toya who never found that dream. he’s dressed like a composer instead.

[scuttling]

Newbie

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Latina OFC Sophie Cortes Word Count: 3,786 Tags: SFW, Pre-relationship, Self-confidence issues, Canon-typical violence Summary: On Sophie’s first day at the BAU, she gets nervous. On Sophie’s second day at the BAU, they get a case. Collection: Sophie Cortes timeline, 0-6 Months at the BAU (See Masterlist for reading order) Link to A03 or read below! On Sophie’s first day at the BAU, she’s a little bit nervous—change your outfit three times, run your Keurig with no cup underneath, hair up? hair down? hair up? nervous—so she takes a deep, steadying breath before pushing open the glass double doors that lead to the bullpen.

She took cues about attire from other people she saw the day of her interview, so today she is wearing a simple black and white dress with pumps and gold jewelry, and she feels she fits in, but she gets more than a few curious looks when she enters.

Her instructions are to report to Agent Hotchner’s office first thing, but she is stopped on her way there by a tall, handsome, impeccably dressed man with a frankly gorgeous smile. He’s Black, with a shaved head and a great voice, and suddenly she doesn’t mind the interference.

“Hi, I’m Derek Morgan. You’re Sophia Cortes, right? Hotch mentioned you were starting today.” She smiles warmly.

“Yes, pleasure to meet you. You can call me Sophie,” she says, reaching out a hand for a shake. “Agent Hotchner told me you’re from Chicago, and so am I. Please say you aren’t a White Sox fan.” His smile becomes even brighter, if possible. She might be halfway in love with him already.

“God, no. If you want to watch good baseball, it’s the Cubs all the way.” She laughs lightly, happy to have a little rapport with a new colleague so soon.

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“I’m glad there’s a little more color in the office now,” he jokes, and she understands where he’s coming from completely. It’s bad enough to be the only woman in the room, sometimes, but when she’s also the only person of color, she feels… inadequate, somehow. Like she has to work twice as hard to be seen, even though she literally stands out among her peers.

A blonde woman with a fair complexion and pretty, almost doll-like facial features steps up behind him, and he looks over, introduces her.

“Sophie Cortes, this is Jennifer Jareau, our Communications Director.”

“Everyone calls me JJ,” she says with a smile and a handshake.

“Nice to meet you. If you’re the Communications Director, you’ve got the toughest job in the unit, then.” JJ looks surprised, then nods her head.

“Absolutely, but don’t tell them that. They’d never believe you,” she says with a playful shove of Derek’s shoulder. “Don’t let being a profiler go to your head like this guy.”

“Who, me? I’m as down to earth as the next devastatingly handsome guy.”

“Yeah, right,” a voice says from her right, and Sophie turns to see a woman approaching them with pale skin and dark hair, bangs, a kind smile. “We love you and all, but you’re a little cocky.”

“Is it being cocky when I’m that good, though?” he asks with a wink, and Sophie already feels more at ease just hearing them talk with each other. She can get acclimated to anything when the environment is right. “This is my partner, Emily Prentiss. Prentiss, this is Sophie Cortes. The new newbie.” She sets down her bag, heads over to shake hands.

“Nice to meet you, Sophie. Love the dress.” Sophie thanks her for the compliment. “I appreciate you taking the newbie title from me; fair warning, you’ll probably be here for five years before they stop calling you that.”

“Ah, I’ve been called worse, I’ll take it.” She glances around their workspace, looks up to Derek. “Is my partner here? Dr. Reid, right?”

“Oh, he texted, said his train is running late,” JJ explains. “He’s really excited to meet you, though, so don’t mind if he’s a little… overwhelming, when he does get here.”

“You’ll fall in love with the kid, everyone does,” Derek explains, and it makes her heart feel warm. This is definitely a team she wants to be a part of. “But he can be intense.”

“I appreciate the heads up.” Before she can say any more, Agent Hotchner descends the stairs, heads toward them.

“Good morning. I can see the team has taken the liberty of introducing themselves.”

“Hello again, Agent Hotchner.” Sophie shakes his hand, and he smiles softly.

“Hotch, please. You can put your things in that desk and I’ll give you a tour, if you’d like.”

“Sure, sounds great.” The team shares a brief look, but she doesn’t know them well enough to comment, just stows her belongings and follows the unit chief. “The team was very welcoming. They seem really tight knit,” she comments as they leave the bullpen, and he looks at her, nods.

“When you spend as much time together as we do, traveling as we do, it’s inevitable. Was it not that way in Intelligence?”

“You couldn’t get those people to sit down to dinner together, let alone tease one another. They’d probably bite each other’s heads off.” They worked well together, but in private the environment could be pretty toxic. She knows Unit Chief Roberts wouldn’t have put up with it if the team didn’t get such good results.

“I can see how this environment might seem a little strange, then,” he says, opening the door for her. They take the elevator.

“Strange, but good. It reminds me of when I was a cop, and I’ve missed that kind of camaraderie.”

“Well I’m glad you felt welcomed. We really are happy to have you.” They approach a closed door which he raps on lightly; the woman who answers has a bright smile and an even brighter outfit, lime green and navy blue, with matching accessories, including green glasses. She makes Sophie feel very… plain.

“Oh, hi!” the woman says, and her grin gets bigger. “Wow, you’re beautiful.” Sophie laughs, a little taken aback, and Hotch sighs lightly like he’s used to the odd behavior. It’s all very endearing.

“This is Penelope Garcia, our technical analyst. Garcia, this is Sophia Cortes, our new profiler.” She reaches out a hand.

“It’s nice to meet you. You can call me Sophie, or Cortes, whichever you prefer. And you’re beautiful, too. I love your style.”

“Thank you; I can tell we’re going to be fast friends. You’ll have me on speed dial,” she says, walking to her desk and jotting something down on a pink Post-It. “If you need something researched, narrowed down, blown up, compared, etc, I’m your girl.” She hands her the note—her direct line—and smiles. “I’m sure you have much more to see, but don’t be a stranger!”

Something tells Sophie she won’t be.

He shows her all around the office—copiers, the breakroom, supply closets, restrooms—and they end up in the briefing room, the last two to walk in.

“You remember Gideon,” Hotch says, and the man nods a greeting. Still as personable as ever, she thinks. “And this is your partner, Dr. Spencer Reid.” She’s not surprised by his age—she read some articles about him once she had his name, knows they call him ‘boy genius’ quite literally—but she is a little thrown by his nervous smile, his dark eyes, his untidy flop of brown hair. Derek wasn’t kidding when he called him kid; he looks like he belongs at an after school chess club meeting, or something.

He’s adorable. Like a puppy. She immediately wants to keep him. She smiles wide.

“Sophia Cortes, but you can call me Sophie, if you like.” He stands, and they shake hands. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’ve heard all about you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too. I hear you’re from Chicago. Did you know Chicago is home to 2,716,450 residents living in over 100 neighborhoods?” She smiles wider.

“Yeah, with 600 parks, 500 playgrounds, 29 beaches, and 26 miles of open lakefront. It’s beautiful. Have you been?”

“We worked a case there, once. I didn’t get to see any parks or beaches.” He makes a frowning kind of face and she laughs softly, takes the seat Hotch offers her.

“Well you’re young, there’s time.”

“Now that we’re all caught up on introductions, we can get started,” Hotch states, and Sophie’s first morning meeting begins.

It’s a little boring, as far as first days go, but she doesn’t mind. She has access to her computer, gets it set up the way she wants, finds out from the team where all the best places are nearby for coffee or drinks or lunch. She meets with the section chief for introductions, goes over some policies with Hotch—who, she was right, is definitely funnier and more thoughtful than he must let on. He probably feels like he has to act a certain way, because he’s the boss, but she likes pulling the human out of him, makes it a personal mission going forward to make him smile.

He’s too handsome not to smile. On Sophie’s second day at the BAU, they get a case.

“I usually like to let new profilers get acclimated to the team before going into the field,” Hotch tells her as they board the plane, “but it didn’t make sense to keep you in Quantico. Are you sure you’re up for it?”

“Of course. That’s why I’m here, I want to help.” She stows her bag overhead. “I’ll observe, give my input when I have it, follow everyone’s lead.”

“Sounds good. You know you can come to any of us if you have questions.”

“I know. Thank you.”

They do a deeper debrief on the plane—three women have been murdered, all in their mid 30’s, athletic and blonde, last seen dropping their children off at school—and Sophie is tasked with going to the most recent crime scene with Hotch and Prentiss.

“What can you tell about him so far?” Hotch asks her while the detective on the case speaks with Prentiss about some details of the scene. She glances around the room, takes it all in.

“Well, there’s blood everywhere. Serious overkill each time. He either knew the victims, or has a deep-seated hatred for a woman they remind him of; my money is on is the latter.” She looks through the kitchen, at the bloody footprints that lead to the back door. “Tracked blood all through the house, left the back door open. He’s disorganized. He may have seen them at the school and planned to follow them home, but he didn’t do any pre-surveillance on them. Something about these women triggers him and he acts within the hour.”

“Would you call it a crime of passion, then?” She looks over, curious, then realizes he’s testing her.

“No. A crime of passion indicates some level of culpability by the victim. Provocation. These women are just in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong face.” He nods, satisfied with her answer.

“So how do we think he’s finding the victims?”

“He could have a child under his care who goes to that school, or he could live near the school, work there. He could work the night shift somewhere else and pass the school on his way home. I think it’s too early to narrow that down.”

“Any idea what weapon he used?”

“We would have to really examine the cast off to be certain, but my guess would be… a hammer, or some other small, blunt tool. This wasn’t done by a baseball bat or a shovel or something larger. We can also get an estimated height and weight of the unsub if we chart the area void of blood here,” she adds, pointing to a bare spot on the wall with blood droplets above and around it. “I’m guessing we’ll send the photos to Garcia for analysis.”

“That’s right. I agree with your assessment,” he begins, but she senses hesitation.

“But?” He looks over at her, thoughtful.

“We’re missing something.”

“We are, or I am?” she asks for clarification, and he smiles just slightly.

“We are.” She takes that as a good sign, walks another loop around the room for something they would have overlooked, and she brightens when she thinks she’s discovered it.

“Her purse is still here, cash, credit cards. Her jewelry was still on her body when she was found. But does it look to you like something’s missing from the entryway table?” She points to it, and it’s very ordinary: a calendar, a bowl for change, hooks for keys, a couple of photographs���with a notable blank space in the middle. “Maybe a photo?”

“We should ask the husband if he knows what was there. Good work,” he tells her, and he heads off in the direction of the husband; she follows close behind.

Back at the precinct, the team fills each other in on what they’ve learned.

“So our unsub killed each of these women with a ball-peen hammer, striking 8-10 times. Blood spatter analysis puts him at about 5’11”, 6’0” tall, around 275 pounds. The photo taken from the third victim’s house was of the victim and her 7-year-old son Josh; similar photos were taken from the other two homes—photos of mother and son.” Prentiss tacks copies of the three missing photos to the board.

“Sounds like maybe the woman they remind him of is his mother,” Reid states.

“That’s what we’re going with. We’re still not sure how he finds his victims, though,” Prentiss mentions, and Sophie takes a breath, hesitates.

“Do you have something?” Morgan asks and she shrugs, unsure.

“Maybe? One of the theories we threw out there was that he works overnight and drives past the school on his way home from work, when the kids are being dropped off. If he killed them with a ball-peen hammer, maybe we should look for machine shops in the area with overnight shifts? Those are typically used in metalworking, not construction.” She feels like all eyes are on her, and it makes her nervous. “That could be completely irrelevant, it’s just a thought.”

“It’s a good thought; I’ll have Garcia pull us a list, we can split up and pass around the description, see if our guy is a metal worker. Good call, newbie.” Morgan leaves to take the call, and JJ leans over with a smile.

“Don’t second guess yourself. You’re doing great so far. Theories are important, even if they’re wrong.” Sophie returns the expression, nods.

“Thanks. I’ve just gotta get used to the collaborative environment; haven’t been in one of those in a while.”

“You’d never know it. You’re fitting right in.” She takes it as a compliment, is happy to be of some use to the investigation and not just getting in the way.

The rest of the day is pretty quiet; they test out a few other possible theories, deliver the profile to the late shift, plan to hit the school early in the morning to look for potential suspects and to pass around the description to see if anyone meets it who works there, or lives nearby.

She goes to the school with Reid and JJ, speaks to teachers, janitorial staff, but none of them know a man like the one they’re looking for. She meets up with the others, who were speaking to parents, after about an hour of questioning, but they also come up blank.

“We’ve still got your machine shop theory,” Reid says as they drive back to the precinct. “The others should be done with those soon, so there’s still a chance we can find this guy today.” JJ’s phone rings, and she answers on the car bluetooth.

“JJ, there’s been another attack,” Prentiss says. “1419 5th Street—you guys are closer. Can you head over?”

“We’re on the way,” JJ answers, turning right, and Reid looks thoughtful.

“An attack? She’s not dead?”

“No. Not yet, at least. She’s being rushed to the hospital; her husband was home, caught the attacker in the middle of it all.”

“Did he get a good look at the unsub?” JJ asks.

“He’s with a sketch artist now. Hotch wants you to circulate the sketch ASAP; we think we may have a hit at one of the metal shops, if you can send it to me, too.”

“You got it.” She ends the call, looks at Sophie through the rearview mirror. “Drinks are on you tonight, newbie,” she says playfully, and Sophie can’t help but laugh. She had been so intimidated by the thought of joining the BAU, and she’s glad to see she’s useful, can actually help make a difference. It’s a feeling she won’t forget for a while.

Later that night, when they plan to try to catch the unsub before he leaves for work, she deflates, a little.

Hotch, Morgan, Prentiss, and Reid are going to breach the unsub’s house while JJ covers the front door and Sophie covers the back. She had assumed she would get to be part of the team going in, with her tactical background, and immediately thinks the worst, that they’re happy to have her brain, but that her body is a hindrance. Too short, too weak… it’s how she’s been treated her whole life, and she hates to think that she’s being dismissed here so soon for the same reasons. She tries not to let it show, but she dwells on it, a little, lets it get her down even though she knows she shouldn’t.

She snaps out of it when there’s movement on the back porch, a hulking, shadowy figure in the darkness.

“I’ve got him coming out of the back,” she whispers into her comms, and she draws her gun and points it at the unsub. “Stop, FBI!” The guy turns to face her—he fits the sketch to a tee, a real mountain of a man as the blood spatter analysis suggested—takes one good look, and goes running in the other direction.

Alright, so, he’s clearly not impressed. She can work with that.

“He’s running, I’m in pursuit.” She holsters her weapon and her boots pound the grass as she books it his way. The good thing about being so much smaller than him is that she’s much faster, catches up to him fairly easily, and again, she shouts for him to stop, which, of course, he doesn’t.

Her first thought is that she’s got to get this guy on the ground no matter what—this isn’t a shoplifter or something, he’s wanted for murdering three women and attempting to murder a fourth, so a little force is okay if necessary, and judging by his build, it’s going to be necessary.

Her second thought is, if I can’t catch him, I don’t deserve to be here. And that’s the one that makes the decision for her.

She leaps onto his back, grabs fistfuls of his shirt, and shakes him forward, backward, forward again, trying to throw off his balance. When he starts to wobble, she slides down his back, hooking a leg around one of his and driving her knee into the bend of his; he goes down, face first, and she reaches behind her for her cuffs, slaps them on his wrists before he has a chance to turn or stand. “Jason Farber, you’re under arrest for three counts of murder and one count of attempted murder.”

“Attempted murder?” he asks, turning his face so he can speak more easily. He seems pretty calm for a runner, maybe just resigned to his fate, and she leans over so she can see him better. He’s breathing fine, uninjured, and just looks pissed. “You mean that overbearing bitch isn’t dead?”

“Yep, sorry to be the one to tell you, Jason, but she’s alive and kicking.” She continues to read him his rights, and is just pulling him to his feet when Morgan and Hotch skid to a stop behind her; if they look surprised… who is she kidding? They look surprised as fuck.

“Damn, Cortes. This guy’s like three of you,” Morgan marvels as she walks him back toward the cars so he can be tossed into the back of a black and white. “Did you make him an offer he couldn’t refuse?” She scoffs at that, and even the unsub snorts in amusement.

“She tackled me. Wasn’t counting on that.”

“I don’t think anybody was,” she admits, getting him into a cop car and shutting the door. She joins the rest of the team, gets a high-five from JJ.

“Hey, score one for the ladies. We never get to do any tackling.”

“She did better than I would have,” Reid admits without shame, and she laughs.

“It’s all in the legs. I lift chains at the gym.” He gives her a look like he’s got no idea what she’s talking about, which almost makes her laugh again. “You do pull-ups, but with chains around your legs.” She demonstrates, squatting and gesturing to her legs like she’s wrapping something around them.

“Okay, you’re the real deal, newbie,” Morgan says when she stands up fully. “Remind me not to run from you unless I want a face full of dirt.” The group breaks apart after that, but Hotch lingers, gives her a meaningful look when she makes eye contact.

“I bet that felt good.” She leans against the side of the SUV, feels a deep conversation coming on.

“It did. I’m stronger than I look, and sometimes it’s fun to be underestimated, but other times it gets really annoying.”

“I can imagine,” he says, nodding, and he mimics her posture. “I just want to make sure you know you don’t have anything to prove. I hired you for a reason.”

“I know. But I don’t like being a one-trick pony, and I’m definitely not waiting around for one of you guys when an unsub is on the move.”

“And I wouldn't expect you to. As for the ‘one-trick pony’ thing, that’s not how I see you at all. You’re extremely well-rounded, and that’s why I wanted you.” His eyes are kind, but penetrating, and she dips her head, nods.

“And that’s why I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“After what you’ve shown me the last two days, I don’t think that’s possible, but I want you to know you can come to me when something’s bothering you. That’s why I’m here.”

“I know. I won’t forget it,” she assures, and he stands fully, cocks an eyebrow in her direction.

“I heard drinks are on you tonight,” he says with a straight face, and she laughs lightly.

“I guess we better get going before they run up the tab, then.”

They walk in companionable silence back to the SUV.