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wongyuseokie · 2 months

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All Too Well | c.s.c

Summary: You thought you met the man of your dreams. He was everything you ever wanted, but what happens when that dream falls apart and when that man is no longer the one you recognise? You want to love him against all odds because you believe things can be better.

☆ 18+ minors dni |☀︎fluff | ☁︎ angst | ♕smut | ♥ completed works

Word Count: 21,190 words

Pairings: Professor! Seungcheol x Female Reader Genre/Trope(s)/AU(s): Established Relationship, break up au! Slightly (quite) toxic relationship, HEAVY ANGST, fluff, smut.

Content Warnings: There is an age gap between the reader and Seungcheol, but it’s not massive. He’s 30, and she’s 25, but it’s enough to cause problems. Seungcheol is a condescending little shit in this. Yelling, swearing, crying, arguments, toxic couple behaviours, mentions of an injury. Hospitalisation it’s nothing serious—mentions of blood. Smut Warnings: smut, unprotected sex (don’t do this). Fingering, oral (male and female receiving) shower sex, multiple orgasms, squirting and using sex as an apology. Authors Note 1: This fic will hurt quite a bit, but I like pain and write many of my experiences with my ex. It’s a form of free therapy, and it feels cathartic. Also, this story is fiction. Cheol is a fucking dick in this. This is a story that is not reflective of him or my impression of him. It is pure fiction, nothing else. Authors Note 2: Thank you so so much to my lovely @multi-kpop-fanfics for reading over this, my lovely @wooahaeproductions and @gyuwoncheol for beta'ing this fic for me 🩷 Authors Note 3: This is a Seventeen rewrite of an old Joon fic of mine, so if it looks familiar, that’s why hehe.

Taglist: @dkluvrsclub @wooahaeproductions @stayinhellevator @aaniag @seungkwansphd @tomodachiii @gyuminusone @bitchlessdino @zezedoesshit @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @noiceoofed @joonsytip @miniseokminnies @wonwoos-wineparty @persnyako @deobienthusiast @the-boy-meets-evil @gyuswhore @gyuwoncheol @shuadotcom @multi-kpop-fanfics @ourdawnishotterthanourday @thegirlwhoimagined @starlight-night0 @dreamsbloomout @aaasia111 @wongyuuu @ana-marais98 @gaslysainz @cherrylita @highvern Part of the Broken Illusions Stories

“Mia, I’m not going to go on Tinder to end a dry spell, nor am I going to sleep with any of the men here. They are all old and most likely married. I’m not keen,” you groaned to your best friend.

Mia had dragged you out tonight because she said that you had a dry spell that needed to be broken, but you were not going to submit to your hormones, and you surely were not going to submit to some random guy on Tinder with the worst possible pick-up lines.

“Look, I can take care of myself. Men are useless and self-obsessed,” you claimed before sipping your martini.

“Surely not all men?” A voice spoke, making you choke on your drink.

You wiped your face wiped it of what? quickly and turned around in your seat to face the voice’s owner. Your eyes widened like saucers upon seeing the man standing before you. You were speechless, and as your eyes scanned, trailed from his deep-set eyes, his impeccable build, and his thighs, thighs that you wanted to straddle and ride until you screamed his name over and over.

“Nope, all men,” you quipped, making the handsome stranger smile at you, revealing his deep dimples.

“Y/N’s been burned by useless men, men who’ve claimed to be all that and then fell short, so she’s quite cynical about most men,” Mia chimed. “Ow!” Mia yelped when you kicked her shin for oversharing.

“Well, how about I get you another drink?” The man suggested, and Mia grinned before hopping off her barstool.

“Great, you do that! I have an early shift tomorrow. Stay safe, Y/N,” Mia said, winking as she headed out of the bar, and you glared at her, knowing that her ‘stay safe’ comment also meant to use a condom.

“I’m Seungcheol.” The stranger introduced himself, and you nodded, turning around to face the bar as he sat down next to you.

“Well, you already know my name. My best friend did kind of yell it,” you deadpanned. You didn’t care how ridiculously handsome Seungcheol was. He could just be another man who could talk a big game and be useless.

“What would you like to drink?” Seungcheol asked, and you shrugged. “Surprise me,” you said. You made a mental note that if he got you some fruity shit, you’d leave him the second the words left his mouth.

“How about a Yuzu fizz gin and tonic?” Seungcheol offered, and you smiled at him, nodding.

“I can guess that if I ordered something you didn’t approve of, you would have left the bar by now?” Seungcheol joked.

“Well, now you’ll never know, will you?” You joked, making Seungcheol smile again.

“So why are you here? Trying to find Prince Charming?” Seungcheol asked with a chuckle.

“Oh, come on, be honest. I’m not one to judge,” Seungcheol encouraged, and a sly grin formed on your face.

“If you insist, then okay,” you started to say, inching closer to him, swallowing a gulp as you took in the scent of his cologne. It was musky, spicy, and woody all at once.

“I’ve been stuck in a painfully long dry spell, and my hand is exhausted. I just need to find someone to fuck me hard,” you answered nonchalantly, and you swore you saw Seungcheol gulp slightly.

“You’re telling me a woman as beautiful as you has not found a man?” Seungcheol asked as he moved away to hand you your drink. You took a sip out of the glass, smiling at the taste.

“Good?” Seungcheol asked, and you nodded.

“Would you like to try?” You asked, and Seungcheol shook his head.

“Maybe later?” Seungcheol replied, and you nodded.

“But to answer your question, it’s not about looks. For instance, a guy might be doing well, then he’ll say something obnoxious, and I’ll no longer be interested,” you explained.

“Fair enough, I apologise on behalf of my species. We often get too excited when we see a beautiful woman and act up,” Seungcheol clarified, making you grin. Seungcheol was incredibly handsome and sweet, but you didn’t feel anything. Nothing clicked. There was no instant chemistry; suddenly, you felt tired and bored and just wanted to be wrapped up in your blanket.

“Well, this was nice. Thank you for the drink, but I think I will call it a night,” you said, and Seungcheol simply smiled at you. You were relieved at how he wasn’t pushy or objecting to the fact that you wanted to leave so early. Most of the men you had met would get defensive or be less than understanding if you wanted to go before they got to cop a feel.

“Wait, how are you getting home?” Seungcheol asked.

“Walking home, it’s a twenty-minute walk,” you replied.

“Y/N, you can punch me if I step out of line, but no, you’re not walking home alone.” You sighed, but you didn’t mind entirely, plus you could kick him in the crotch if he acted up. You were cognizant enough to do so.

“Well then, Seungcheol, since it’s a bit of a walk, shall we play a game?” You asked as you both stepped out of the bar and started to walk.

“Seriously?” Seungcheol asked, grinning.

“Humour me, Seungcheol .”

“Fine then.”

“Great, let’s play twenty questions,” and you proceeded to ask. “How old are you?”

“30,” he replied.

“If it’s not too rude to ask you, the same?” Seungcheol asked, and you smiled before replying, “25.”

“I have another question if it’s not too crude?” Seungcheol asked, and you nodded at him to ask it. “When you said you wanted to be fucked hard, how hard?” You gulped; you swore his voice had gotten deeper and huskier since he left the bar. You chalked up your reaction to the cold air, playing tricks on your mind.

“If let’s say, hypothetically, it was me, how hard would you want me to fuck you?” Seungcheol continued , making you stop and turn to face him. His eyes were piercing and burned through any façade you had on tonight.

“Hard enough to make me forget my name,” you whispered, earning a nod from Seungcheol.

The rest of the walk was filled with silence, aside from a few questions from Seungcheol, but you couldn’t get the vision of him standing over you and asking you how hard you’d like to be fucked out of your head.

“Well,” you breathed out when your eyes landed on your front door.

“This is me,” you said, standing with your back against your front door.

“Wait, I have one thing I want to try but don’t worry, you still have permission to knee me in the balls,” Seungcheol teased, making you chuckle, only for a second, before his soft lips landed on yours. The kiss was so light it almost felt like nothing happened, but you knew it did because you felt your heartbeat out of your chest the minute his lips grazed yours.

“I always wanted to know what the Yuzu gin and tonic tasted like,” Seungcheol said smugly before moving away from you.

“Well, it was lovely meeting you,” Seungcheol said, leaving you speechless and breathless as he turned around and walked away from your front door.

“Seungcheol! Wait!” He turned around, smiling at you.

“Would you like to come in for a nightcap? We still have several questions left,” you suggested, hoping he’d say yes. Seungcheol grinned as he nodded, following you into your apartment.

Fifteen questions in, Seungcheol and you were on your living room sofa. You were cuddling into his side, your legs on his lap. Around five questions ago, Seungcheol’s hand started trailing your exposed thighs , and you had let out a few soft moans at his touch.

“Question sixteen for you, Y/N,” Seungcheol said, and you laughed at him.

“You kept count?” You asked, and Seungcheol nodded.

“I’m very detail-oriented,” Seungcheol replied, and you rolled your eyes.. Seungcheol’s hand stopped trailing your thighs; instead, he gently squeezed them.

“Tell me, how hard did you want to be fucked?” He asked again, and you quirked your brows at him.

“You already asked,” you replied breathlessly, and Seungcheol shrugged.

“Would it hurt to get details?” Seungcheol pressed staring right into your eyes. You would be lying if you said you didn’t start getting wet five questions ago, but now your core ached at his words.

“So hard that I can’t walk, so that I’m a mumbling and whimpering mess.” You said as you moved so that you were straddling Seungcheol. You gently moved your hips against his, and you felt his length hardening.

“Question seventeen for you. Why did you ask me for a drink tonight?” you asked as Seungcheol groaned and held your waist, stopping your movements.

“When I saw you in this dress, I couldn’t help but think about how I wanted to do nothing more than rip it off your body,” Seungcheol spoke, and you moaned at his words. His grip on your waist got tighter, and you were sure you would be bruised tomorrow, but you didn’t care.

“Question eighteen, Y/N, are you wet right now?” Seungcheol asked, and you smirked and proceeded to reply with another question.

“Question nineteen, Seungcheol, do you want to find out?” You asked, and Seungcheol’s eyes darkened with lust as he nodded,lifting the pushed-up hem of your dress so that it was at the waistband of your panties.

Seungcheol looked at you for consent, and you nodded, giving it to him. He pulled your panties to the side and brushed his fingers through your folds. Seungcheol moaned at your wetness, then moved his fingers to his mouth, and relished your taste.

“Final question, baby. What’s your safe word?” He asked.

“Peaches,” you replied.

“Peaches it is,” Seungcheol responded, content with your answer, he carried you to your bedroom to a night filled with absolute pleasure.

You woke up the following day to soft snores; you smiled softly at Seungcheol sleeping. Seungcheol looked incredibly handsome, even with his hair ruffled and mouth open as he snored lightly. You hated how you were romanticising this one moment, especially considering that it was the result of several drinks and very sexual questions that led him to your bedroom. Still, at this moment, you wished that this would be the view you could wake up to every day.

He was perfect. He was so sweet, loving, gentle, and kind all night long. You wouldn’t be opposed to having that type of care and affection regularly.

You decided to get out of bed and grab your oversized nightshirt as you headed to the kitchen, leaving your bedroom quietly not to wake him up andruin the little daydream you were happily living in.

You took a detour, making sure to head to the bathroom first, freshen up, and then head to the kitchen, where you made a cup of green tea for yourself and a cup of hot coffee for Seungcheol. In your hazy recollection of last night, you remembered Seungcheol ordering a couple of espresso martinis, so you assumed coffee would be a good idea.

You held the mugs in your hand as you headed back to your bedroom, smiling when you saw Seungcheol sitting up, stretching, and smiling sleepily at you when he turned his head to face you.

“Damn, and here I thought you left me,” Seungcheol joked. His deep morning voice made you feel warm, like the tea that warmed your throat with every sip.

“It’s my house,” you replied, smiling at him and handing him a mug of coffee.

“So, what do you do, Y/N?” Seungcheol asked. “Aside from rock my world,” he added, joking, making you roll your eyes at him.

“I’m a freelance web designer, but I just took a break to travel with my friends for a bit, and so I’m just getting back into it.I need to go out and hustle to get clients again,” you said, and you noticed an emotion you couldn’t decipher flash across Seungcheol’s features.

You assumed he was squinting at the morning sunlight streaming into your bedroom, but it was gloomy. Still, it was early, and maybe he was just tired.

“What do you do?” You asked, not wanting to dwell on your thoughts for too long.

“I’m an English Literature professor at Seoul National University,” Seungcheol said, and you couldn’t help but notice the hint of smugness that laced his tone. Still, then again, if you were a professor at the most prestigious universities in the country, maybe you, too, would behave that way.

“So, you’re like a nerd?” You joked and knew it fell flat, noticing how Seungcheol gave you no reaction.

“Is it still a thing to call people nerds? Youngsters these days,” Seungcheol mused, and you couldn’t help but again detect an undercurrent of an unpleasant tone that made you feel uncomfortable. You let it slide because you knew nothing about this man.

“I enjoyed last night,” you said softly, joining him on your bed, hoping to change the topic.

“I did, too. I didn’t think heading out for a drink after work would help me find you,” Seungcheol agreed.

“I, uh,” you fumbled. You wanted to ask if he would be willing to see you again, and Seungcheol got the hint.

“I want to see you again, and not just to repeat last night, but because I want to get to know you more,” Seungcheol said, and you beamed at him.

“Shit, I need to get home and shower and get to the university, but can I have your number? I’ll text you after my lecture today, and yes, I’ll text today itself because I don’t believe in the whole bullshit of waiting for a day after to tell someone you enjoyed their company. I guess that’s something I learned with age,” Seungcheol stated.

Then, you wondered if you felt Seungcheol’s age would be a motif you could never get rid of.

“Wait, so the buff hot guy, you ended up going home with him and fucking him?” Mia exclaimed obnoxiously loud in the supermarket, making you glare at her as you got a few disapproving stares from fellow shoppers.

“Oh, you need to work on your indoor voice. You will end up spilling my life story to the world,” you said, elbowing Mia, who shrugged.

“So well, was he the kind of dick you want inside you again, or what?” Mia asked as you grabbed some pasta and put it in your shopping cart.

“He asked me out,” you replied.“Well, sort of. He said he doesn’t believe in waiting a while to text, so he said he’d text me today because he enjoyed my company,” you clarified, and you saw Mia’s grin widen.

“What does he do?” Mia asked. “He’s a professor of literature and SNU,” you responded.

“Damn, I need your luck to get that kind of dick on a night out, a qualified dick, if you will,” Mia joked, making you laugh.

“I don’t know, he still hasn’t texted, and it’s nearly 7, and if he texts any later than that, it’ll just be for a hookup, and I don’t want to be a booty call,” you explained, and Mia nodded.

“Well, he’s a professor at one of the most prestigious universities. Maybe he got busy, and if he enjoyed your company, I’m sure he doesn’t only want sex,” Mia explained. You shrugged unsurely, and your phone buzzed in your pocket as if on cue.

Unknown Number: Hey, it’s Seungcheol. Sorry for not texting earlier like I said. Students had a lot of concerns, and it’s been a long day. I finally wrapped up, and if you haven’t made plans already, I’d like to take you out for a late-night dessert.

You smiled at your phone for what must have been too long, considering Mia decided to nudge you. “Fucking reply, you dork, and have him for dessert because that man must be sweet,” Mia teased, wiggling her brows at you, making you roll your eyes at her as you typed a reply.

You: Hey Seungcheol, that’s okay. Dessert? Colour me intrigued, where should I meet you?

Not even a minute afteryou sent the message, you saw the words “Seungcheol is typing,” flash across your screen, making you smile and feel giddy like a teenager having a crush.

Seungcheol: Send me your location, and I’ll pick you up.

You: Sure!

You: Location sent

Seungcheol: Perfect, see you in a few!

You grinned at your phone as Mia headed towards the check-out aisle. “Wow, he’s offering to pick you up, too. He’s already a keeper,” Mia stated, and you shrugged.

“How?” You asked, curious to understand your best friend’s logic.

“He’s going out of his way to meet you and pick you up; he wants to spend more time with you before the date. He isn’t simply telling you to meet him at a place. He is making the time and effort to take you out on a date after a busy day. That’s a good sign,” Mia explained, making you smile.

You and Mia had paid for your groceries and now were waiting outside. You were conversing with Mia when a sleek black Mercedes caught your eye. It was a sexy car, and your eyes widened when Seungcheol stepped out of the car and smiled at you.

“Sorry, I hope I didn’t keep you in the cold too long?” Seungcheol said, and you shook your head at him.

“Not at all,” you said shyly, earning a particularly hard nudge at your side from Mia, who noticed your shyness.

“I’m Mia, you must be Seungcheol,” she greeted, making Seungcheol laugh.

“I remember you, you’re trouble; you were the one who was kind enough to inundate me with Y/N’s sex life that night,” Seungcheol recalled, flustering Mia and you.

“Well, it worked out, didn’t it?” Mia countered, making Seungcheol smile, allowing his deep dimples to appear, making you smile too.

“Can’t deny that”, Seungcheol agreed, winking at you, making you smile even more, so much so that you thought your cheeks would break.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it,” Mia said as she started to walk away.

“Wait, Mia, why don’t I drive you home before we both head out on our date? It’s cold and late,” Seungcheol offered, and for some reason, that stung. You don’t know why. She was your best friend; she’d never betray you, and Seungcheol, well, he was nothing to you right now.

Mia looked at you nervously, and you shrugged before nodding. “Yeah, come on, girl, it’s cold out. Besides, it’s not a long drive,” you rambled nervously, and Mia nodded as she approached the car.

Seungcheol was nothing but a gentleman, holding the door open for youfirst, letting you in the front seat next to him, and then moving to help Mia into the back seat, and you couldn’t help the ugly feeling of jealousy that stirred in the pit of your stomach.

Why would he help her after me? You thought and shook your head to rid yourself of those thoughts. You needed to compose yourself before Seungcheol joined you in the driver’s seat.

“Alright, Mia, why don’t you tell me your address?” Seungcheol asked, flashing her a smile. You forced another smile at your best friend, annoyed at how your emotions clouded your ability to be rational, but Mia was right. Seungcheol was a catch, and you didn’t fancy losing him to your best friend.

The entire drive to Mia’s apartment was filled with awkward silence, aside from a couple of jokes from Seungcheol and a few nervous giggles from Mia. You kept your gaze on the road ahead, refusing to engage in the conversation. You hated how your insecurities got the better of you and ruined a good time.

“Thank you, Seungcheol,” Mia said softly, and for a second, you wanted to roll your eyes at her when you heard how sickly sweet her voice sounded, but then you realised that’s what she always sounded like and that your insecurity nearly caused you to ignore your best friend. You could tell Mia had noticed too as she too kept stealing worried glances at you.

“Hey, I’d never, and I’m sorry I imposed tonight,” Mia said as she exited the car and stood by your window. You let out a breath you didn’t realise you were holding and nodded.

“I know, I’m just sorry. I got insecure,” you admitted quietly, and Mia nodded before hugging you awkwardly.

“Have fun tonight. Remember, he wants to spend time with you. You’re not a second option,” Mia reassured, and you smiled at her, mentally noting to send her a long and apologetic text after tonight.

Seungcheol, ever the gentleman, walked Mia to her door and waited for her to go inside before hereturned to the car, sat in the driver’s seat, and smiled at you, which you half-heartedly returned.

“Okay, did you and Mia argue before I showed up?” Seungcheol asked, and you shook your head. “Then why did you act as if I overstepped by dropping her home?” Seungcheol questioned, and you sighed.

“Can I blame it on insecurities, and you can drop this?” You asked, and Seungcheol’s face softened.

“I want to spend my night with you, not her. How about I make it up to you over the best cake ever?” Seungcheol suggested, and you nodded, smiling at him.

The drive was filled with the music in Seungcheol’s car and lo-fi remixes, and halfway along the drive, Seungcheol broke the silence.

“So, this place is far, but I promise you it’s the best dessert place in the world. I know the owners, and I’ve known them since I was a kid, so they’re like family, so the food is legit,” Seungcheol rambled, making you smile.

“So busy day, huh?” You asked, and Seungcheol nodded as he moved one hand off the steering wheel to lace it with yours.

“Yeah, but seeing you made it all better,” Seungcheol replied, making you smile at him.

“Cute,” you replied, making him grin as he drove.

“What about you? How was your day?” Seungcheol asked, now properly holding your hand as he kept his free hand on the steering wheel and continued to drive.

“Well, I mean, it wasn’t particularly productive. I asked a few clients if they had any upcoming projects I could assist with,” you explained

“Well, you can’t be passive about it. If you want something, you need to chase after it,” Seungcheol explained and then winced slightly. “Fuck sorry, I’ve been with students all day, repeating this shit to them, and I automatically clicked into professor mode; sorry,” Seungcheol apologised, reaching gently to take your hand and bring it to his lips.

“You’re not exactly wrong, but maybe just keep the life coach’s advice for the kids?” You joked, and Seungcheol’s eyes lit up as he pulled into the familiar driveway of the bakery.

“We’re here!” Seungcheol exclaimed excitedly as he parked the car, getting out first and heading to help you.

“Oh,” you said, pointing to your grocery bag.

“Leave it here; it’s cool,” Seungcheol replied.

“Shall we?” Seungcheol asked as he closed the car door behind you and held out his hand for you; you took it, smiling as his large hand engulfed yours, making you feel safe.

“Is that who I think it is?” A voice called out from the bakery’s back, and Seungcheol grinned, hearing the voice as he replied.

“Halmeoni, it is. Cheol is hungry,” Seungcheol said playfully as he guided you into the bakery and a more petite older woman approached Seungcheol.

“Oh, you are getting buffer by the day, and I see it’s paying off. Who is this beautiful woman?” The lady asked, making you smile shyly.

“Y/N, she and I are here on a date, halmeoni,” Seungcheol explained, making you grin even more.

“Well, I’m glad to see you are dating again. After Yoona, I thought I lost you for good,” the lady added, and you felt Seungcheol’s grip on your hand tighten at the mention of Yoona. Lost him how?

“Halmeoni, not now, please,” Seungcheol warned.

“My dear, Y/N, how rude of me. I’m Minji Kim, but you can address me as Halmeoni. Why don’t you two sit? I’ll get you the specials?” Ms. Kim offered.Seungcheol nodded as he guided you inside to find a more secluded booth to sit in.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Seungcheol said softly as you sat down. You were about to counter, saying you weren’t planning to ask him, but you decided against it. It wasn’t your place. Not tonight, at least, not on a first date.

“This is our best-selling product and Cheol’s favourite,” Ms. Kim interrupted a couple of minutes later, as she placed a molten cake on the middle of the table and placed down two forks as well.

“Enjoy, kids,” Ms. Kim said before she disappeared.

“I know it looks simple,” Seungcheol started to say, “But this is the best thing ever. Open,” Seungcheol said as he picked up a forkful of the molten cake and moved the fork to your lips. You accepted the cake, letting out a hum of approval as the chocolatey taste filled your mouth.

“Fuck, that’s amazing,” you praised, and Seungcheol smirked as he took a bite for himself.

“Halmeoni says the love she pours into the cake makes it so delicious. She’ll never tell me her recipe, even if I beg,” Seungcheol complained, and you laughed at him.

“Isn’t that better? Some things are better left unsaid. It might ruin the magic,” you said, and Seungcheol smiled slightly.

“Ah, the childlike wonder, cute,” Seungcheol said, earning a funny look from you.

“Is that a problem?” You asked, moving your hand away from him. Seungcheol shook his head.

“No, I guess I have a very black-and-white view of the world, and sometimes I fail to account that other people don’t. I like that you see the world with all its beauty and colours,” Seungcheol explained.

“Well, stick around me long enough, and maybe you’ll see the world with a bit more colour?” you suggested, and Seungcheol shrugged.

“We’ll see,” Seungcheol said, and you gathered from his tone that he didn’t fancy discussing this issue further.

“Hey, you’ve got cake on your face,” Seungcheol said, leaning forward, and you assumed he’d wipe the cake off your lips. Instead, you were met with his soft lips. You melted against his lips as they moved against yours, only for him to pull away for a second and then find your lips again. You pulled away this time with a light smile.

“Halmeoni will have the worst impression of me if all I do is make out with you here,” you joked, and Seungcheol smirked.

“I agree. How about we finish this cake, and maybe I can show you how much I wanted to spend my day with you instead of lecturing my students?” Seungcheol suggested, and you couldn’t help how your expression changed.Seungcheol caught onto it as well.

“I didn’t ask you out only to have sex with you, I promise. I want your company, but I also want to be able to hold your hand and maybe steal a few kisses here and there. I’d rather do that in a comfortable setting and not traumatise poor halmeoni,” Seungcheol clarified as he placed another kiss on your lips, and you hummed into the kiss.

“Shall we?” Seungcheol asked, and you nodded.You stood up with him, placing your hand in his, and following him to the counter as he paid for the cake, much to your and halemoni’s protests. Seungcheol smiled as he walked out the bakery door, ensuring to wave to Ms. Kim. You felt yourself becoming more enamoured by his actions.

You concluded that Seungcheol could have a hard exterior, but soft inside, much like the lava cake. He could seem slightly unapproachable with his curt and short replies, but if you dug deep enough, you knew he was filled with nothing but love and warmth, and you were determined to get to know that Seungcheol.

You were determined that you could be that one for him, the one he’d let in.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Seungcheol asked as his voice took you out of your daydream of becoming the future Mrs Choi.

“I enjoyed tonight; well, everything tonight has been so incredible,” you admitted, and Seungcheol turned to smile at you, nearly running through the red light, making you laugh and gasp.

“Fuck, do you think being distracted by you is a valid reason for running a red light?” Seungcheol joked, and you shook your head at him.

“Nope, but I think it’s cute,” you said as you placed your hand on his knee.

“That impatient? We’re almost back at mine,” Seungcheol teased, and you rolled your eyes at him,pinching his knee a bit which made him laugh.

The drive back to Seungcheol’s place was filled with jokes and flirty remarks.Once Seungcheol reached his apartment, he couldn’t park the car soon enough and hurriedly helped you out,practically running to his apartment with your hand in his.

The minute you were inside his apartment, you took a second to take off your red scarf. You placed it on the coat hanger by the door and squealed in surprise when Seungcheol turned you around in his embrace, bending down to lift you into his arms and carry you over to his sofa.

You stared at him, confused. What did he want? Was it just sex? You wondered, and Seungcheol spoke, ending your worries within seconds.

“I just want to hold you like this, in my arms, look,” Seungcheol started to say as he adjusted his position so that you were lying between his body, your chin on his toned chest. “Maybe I’m moving too quickly, but I told you I don’t believe in all that bull shit of following rules. You’re the first person I’ve felt this comfortable with for so long, so forgive me if all this is too much because I can reign it in,” Seungcheol admitted as he stroked your cheek, making you smile.

You sat up for a second tokick off your boots, taking your position back, and laying on his chest. “I don’t need you to reign any of this in,” you reassured. Seungcheol was special; he was older, wiser, and something you had never had. You weren’t about to lose him for the sake of some social constructs relating to dating.

You always felt like people made up or exaggerated when it came to how love made them feel. You had friends, like Mia, who would act like they were on cloud nine or something when they were in love, and you never understood it. It wasn’t because you were traumatised as a child or anything, far from it.

You were a happy kid, but your parents weren’t in love. You knew that your parents stayed married for your sake, and while you would always commend them for that because you knew you could never do that, you never understood the point of pretending. All that to say, you never grew up with a perfect example of what love looked like, and after shitty hookups and your fair share of fuck boys and heartbreak, you gave up on the concept.

You didn’t hate love; you just assumed it was something inconceivable that others got, the lucky ones, and you, you didn’t think you’d ever get it. You had convinced yourself that for so long, until you met Seungcheol, until that first kiss with him.

Now, four months later, you watched your boyfriend working.

That was your man, your safe space, your home. Even though there were petty fights and arguments, you two would make it work because that’s what people do when they’re in love.

They fight for each other.

“Okay, I guess I’m decent-looking enough, but you’ve been staring at my face for the past ten minutes, with a smile on yours,” Seungcheol chuckled as he looked at you.

“Wait, I’ve been staring for that long?” You asked, feeling slightly flustered. Seungcheol nodded as he pulled you closer into his chest.

“What’s on your mind?” Seungcheol asked as his hand traced patterns lazily on your lower back.

“I just-,” you started to say.“Are you real?” You asked Seungcheol, who furrowed his brows at you.

“What?” Seungcheol asked

“I don’t know, I fuck. I never believed that I could have something like this,” you said shyly, and Seungcheol smiled fondly at you.

“Like what?” Seungcheol encouraged, and you took a deep breath to sit up and adjusted until you sat crossed-legged next to Seungcheol on the bed. He soon followed, sitting up, and leaning against his headboard.

“Like, I always thought love was a beautiful concept, but it was a concept that others would get, not me. I never thought I would find someone who would love me, how you do, how you make me feel when you kiss me, and how I feel when I hold your hand. Seungcheol, I feel safe with you, and that’s something I never associated with love. Love was always so unrealistic to me,” you rambled and paused to look at Seungcheol, who smiled fondly at you.

“That’s why I asked if you were real, or something I made up because I was so desperate to feel loved and to be loved,” you admitted.

Seungcheol placed his hand over yours. “You feel safe with me?” He asked.

“The safest. I feel like I’m floating. When I’m with you, I feel like you’ve taken me to a place so high, where there is nothing but love and safety,” you babbled, letting your feelings pour out and making Seungcheol smile widely at you.

“Fuck, then, this is not a good time to say this is it?” Seungcheol said, and for a second, you felt like you had come down from the proverbial cloud you were floating on.

“Uh, say, what?” You fumbled, and Seungcheol grinned at you before leaning over to kiss your lips softly.

“To say that I love you,” Seungcheol admitted, making your eyes widen.

“To be honest, I’ve been meaning to say it for a while now.I just didn’t know if it was the right time or too soon, and I didn’t want to scare you off or anything, but hearing what you said made me realise that I too have nothing to fear when I’m with you,” Seungcheol confessed, making you? at his words as you moved to crawl into his lap.

“You love me?” You asked.

“I love you,” Seungcheol repeated, and you beamed at him.

“I love you more.”

Four Months Later: The First Crack in the Glass

“How was work?” You asked Seungcheol one evening, and he groaned as he flopped into your bed, wrapped his arms around your waist, and cuddled you, making you smile. Your boyfriend might have been a big shot and a fancy literature professor, but he was a giant teddy bear behind closed doors, and in moments like this, you were reminded of it.

“You want to know?” Seungcheol asked as he sat up and stood up to take off his shirt and pull off his work clothes to change into a more comfortable pair of sweats.

“I was teaching the kids about Sylvia Plath,” Seungcheol said slowly.

“Oh, shit, I’ve heard of her,” you said absentmindedly, and Seungcheol let out a soft hum.

“She’s one of the greatest writers, and you’ve only heard of her?” Seungcheol asked. There was a hint of condescension in his voice, and you couldn’t help but feel like there was a hint of judgment from him.

“Cheol, tell me about her work,” you said, trying to push down the funny feeling his words left you with.

“I mean, what can I say? You smiled, watching him, listening intently as he fell into a soliloquy about Sylvia Plath’s writing. “The woman was troubled. Like any great artist, she used her pain to create beauty. She turned her darkest thoughts into the most beautiful words,” Seungcheol explains.

“Who’s your favourite poet?” Seungcheol asked suddenly, and you shrugged.

“I don’t know if I have one. Literature was something I liked, and I enjoyed everything I read. I don’t think I cared enough to love one author exclusively,” you replied, earning a grunt from Seungcheol.

“You couldn’t have liked it enough if you can’t even tell me a favourite author. What about a poem or novel?” Seungcheol pressed, and you glared at him.

“You sound like an arrogant prick,” you mumbled, and Seungcheol laughed and held up his hands in defeat.

“Okay, I apologise,” Seungcheol said, but the smile on his face made you realise that he didn’t mean it.

“I loved the play A Doll’s House,” you said, and Seungcheol’s eyes widened.

“You’re familiar with Ibsen?” He asked, unable to mask the surprise in his voice.

“Just because I’m not some fancy fucking professor doesn’t make me stupid,” you said, inching away from him, and Seungcheol let out a soft sigh.

“What did you love the most about the play?” Seungcheol asked.

“I guess, like Nora, I too feel like I always need to be a certain way and that people have an expectation of what and how I should be,” you admitted, looking down at your blanket, and you felt Seungcheol pull you into his arms.

“I hope that’s not because of my thoughtless remarks?” Seungcheol asked, cupping your face with his large hands, and you shook your head.

“No, but I guess just life. I just see so many people my age settling down, with a family and kids, and everything, and they have a steady job, and just everything,” you mumbled, and Seungcheol nodded, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“So? That’s their journey, not yours, my love. You will have all those things when it’s right. You don’t need to rush it,” Seungcheol said, and you smiled at him.

“That’s one of my biggest insecurities, and I don’t think I’ve ever voiced it, not even to Mia,” you confessed.

“I appreciate that you trust me with it and know that it’s a feeling that I’ll keep safe with me,” Seungcheol promised his words making you melt.

“You’re my safety net?” You asked, and Seungcheol nodded.

“Yep,” Seungcheol responded.

“Oh, babe, my friends wanted to meet you, so I asked them over to dinner at mine, join me? I want to introduce them to the woman, who, I quote, ‘makes me less of a miserable bastard’,” Seungcheol explained.

“I’d love to,” you replied.“Wait, miserable bastard?” You asked, unable to fight the slight grin on your face.

“When Yoona and I ended things, I was a miserable bastard,” Seungcheol explained.

“Um, not to rehash shitty memories…” you started to say, and Seungcheol’s soft smile turned into a harsh glare as he spoke.

“Then don’t. I’m not interested in talking about her, and it’s none of your business,” Seungcheol snapped, and you nodded, feeling embarrassed for even bringing it up or attempting to.

“There are some things in life we keep to ourselves, right? For all our lives, a secret we take to our grave, Yoona, is that for me,” Seungcheol explained, and you sighed in acceptance, wondering how awful that relationship could have been for him to be still so resentful.

“I get it. You’ll never hear her name from me again,” you vowed.

“Thank you,” Seungcheol breathed out.

“Fuck, does this dress look okay?” You asked, waltzing out of Seungcheol’s bathroom in a black cocktail dress. Seungcheol barely looked up as he placed the wine glasses on the dinner table.

“Cheol,” you huffed, and he looked up at you.

“My friends will like you; they don’t care about what you wear,” Seungcheol said, and you walked over to the dining table with a sigh

“I get that, but still,” you trailed off, and Seungcheol shrugged.

You were about to respond when the doorbell rang. “Cool, they’re here. Just be yourself. They’ll like you,” Seungcheol affirmed, and you sighed, nodding, as you watched him open the door for his guests.

“Jeonghan, Chan, Mingyu, and Joshua, this my love, Y/N,” Seungcheol introduced you proudly, waving towards you as the four men walked into the house.You smiled and waved at them awkwardly.

“Why don’t we get a few drinks, and then we can all get acquainted?” Seungcheol offered, and the rest agreed with nods and hums.

“So, what do you do?” Jeonghan asked.

“Well, I’m a web designer, so I do a lot of freelance work,” you explained, and Jeonghan nodded, smiling. “That’s incredibly impressive,” Jeonghan complimented.

“What do you do?” You asked, and Jeonghan took a sip of his wine before answering.

“I also work with your boyfriend, except I teach law,” Jeonghan replied, and you nodded.

You were about to reply when you were suddenly interrupted by Seungcheol. “Oh, Jeonghan, don’t bore her; she’s not into the academia,” Seungcheol said. You knew he meant no harm by it, but it made you feel like an idiot.

Did your boyfriend think you weren’t smart enough to converse with someone other than him?

“Well, everyone likes criminal law, murders, and stuff,” Jeonghan joked, attempting to ease the tension, as he noticed how your face fell with Seungcheol’s comment.

“I know, I love watching crime documentaries,” you added. “Same. What would you say are your favourites? Forensic files?” Jeonghan asked.

“Y/N, you know that watching a documentary on crime, especially an extremely overproduced TV show, does not mean you understand the details of the law. You watch crime shows because you find it cool, but Jeonghan teaches the law. He respects and appreciates it immensely,” Seungcheol added, and you baulked at his words.

“Ignore him, Y/N, this pompous literature professor thinks that if you don’t like Sylvia Plath, you’re a disgrace as a reader. Seungcheol can’t understand that while her work is untouchable, it’s too much, and that’s not a mark of one’s intelligence. Rather what they like,” Jeonghan said. His last words were directed to Seungcheol and were emphasised with a particularly intense glare at him.

“Cheol, why don’t you look after the kids? Yeah, I think Joshua said something about replacing all your vintage books with decoys,” Jeonghan offered, and you were thankful for his comment as Seungcheol stalked off to the kitchen.

Jeonghan looked at you sympathetically before motioning for another man to join you in the conversation. He looked younger, and he had a bright smile.

“This is Chan. He’s the baby of the group,” Jeonghan said, and you couldn’t help but think that his words were a dig at you, but you saw no malice in his voice. He just wanted you to meet another face.

You started a conversation with Jeonghan and Chan; this time, it was just about lighthearted topics. Thankfully, Seungcheol didn’t interrupt with a patronising comment.

“Dinner’s set!” Seungcheol announced, and you sighed. You finally felt better about what happened between you two earlier, but you decided to swallow your pride and join him at the dining table.

“No way you did all this, Cheol,” A man you vaguely remember called Mingyu mumbled, and Seungcheol laughed.

“True, my love here..” Seungcheol said as he moved closer to you and wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you in to kiss your cheek softly.

“She helped. I would have burnt the bloody house down,” Seungcheol said.You took a deep breath before nodding in agreement.

You decided you’d chalk up Seungcheol’s initial crappy behaviour to him just being nervous, and maybe he just wanted to save you from a boring conversation but just had a terrible way of executing his plan.

You’d let it go and try to enjoy the rest of the night.

Except, that didn’t go to plan. Several minutes into the conversation, Seungcheol’s grip on your hand loosened, and by the time dessert was placed, Seungcheol had his chair tilted so that his back was facing you and no longer looking at you or engaging you in the conversation.

You felt awkward. Everyone in the room knew each other except you. You were the odd one out, and your boyfriend seemed completely fine ignoring you, too. You didn’t want him to coddle you, but you didn’t expect him to turn his back on you.

You placed your hand on Seungcheol’s back once to get his attention, but he merely shrugged it off, and you felt tears threatening to spill, so you politely and wordlessly excused yourself, not that anyone noticed.

You excused yourself to Seungcheol’s study, where you found yourself a bottle of wine, and decided to sip that and stayed all night and didn’t emerge until after dinner and his friends left.

“Hey, I thought I’d find you here. Why didn’t you join us for dinner? I told them you came down with a headache, but I got to say you didn’t make me look good, doing that,” Seungcheol explained as he walked into his study, and you rolled your eyes at him as you took another sip of your wine.

“I just wanted to introduce you to my friends, and you just decided you couldn’t be bothered?” Seungcheol scolds, and you scoff.

“Why are you so pissed off?” Seungcheol asked as he sat across you, and you stood up and walked over to the window.

“I’m not pissed off. Who said I was pissed off?” You said sarcastically, and Seungcheol sighed.

“You’re acting pissed off,” Seungcheol added. You sighed before speaking.

“You acted like I was a fucking dumbass; what the hell was the comment you gave to Jeonghan? That I’m not into academia, or that I can't understand the law because I watch a Netflix show about crime? You made me look like a fucking moron,” you spat.

“Look, whenever I try to show you anything about my work, you get bored, and you either fall asleep or can’t keep up. I was trying to save you that with Jeonghan,” Seungcheol replied, and you stared at him in shock.

“I don’t fall asleep because I’m not interested. I fall asleep because you talk to me like a student. You lecture me; if you spoke to me about your work the way you do with your friends, with that same enthusiasm, then maybe I’d pay more attention, but you fucking don’t!” You shot back, making Seungcheol sigh.

“So, what was I meant to do? Let you try and have a conversation with Jeonghan about the law, something you know nothing about?” Seungcheol asked, and you nearly slapped the smug look off his face.

“Fuck you. You don’t need to have a master’s degree or prior knowledge about a subject to be interested in it and for fucks sake. I just wanted to get to know your friends, but whenever I tried, you intercepted the conversation with a comment that just made me sound like a fucking child,” you yelled at him, and Seungcheol groaned.

“This was meant to be a good night, and you’re making it all about you,” Seungcheol mumbled.

“Me? How? You barely acknowledged me, you turned your fucking chair around and didn’t look at me during dinner. You barely tried to include me. Your friends, they’re all older than me, and you made no fucking effort to include me,” you yelled at Seungcheol.

“You have a mouth. You could speak up. No one would stop you,” Seungcheol offered, earning a glare from you.

“Why would I fucking do that? Whenever I contribute anything, you show up to either call me an idiot, or when I do try to get your attention actively, you fucking shrug me off. Do you know how that feels?” You asked, your voice trembling.

“Fuck don’t cry. That’s not fucking fair. I don’t even remember the fact I shrugged you off. You can’t attack me for something I don’t even know about,” Seungcheol retaliated.

“Fuck can you just acknowledge that you fucked up a little bit? You’re making me feel so fucking stupid,” you choked out, and Seungcheol shrugged.

“I don’t think I’m making you feel that way. I think you’re making yourself feel that way,” Seungcheol offered, and you glared at him.

“Fine, then, if I’m so fucking stupid. Then, I should just let you be. I’m going home. I don’t want you to feel even more stupid with me around,” you snarled, slamming your wine glass down hard enough to startle Seungcheol but not hard enough to break the glass.

You stormed out of the room as Seungcheol helplessly followed after you. “Wait, Y/N, fucking wait. It’s late, please just stay until the morning, and I’ll drop you off; I can’t drive you home yet, I’ve had too much to drink for it to be safe,” Seungcheol argued, and you scowled at him.

“I don’t fucking need this. I can take a cab,” you said, grabbing your phone, and Seungcheol shook his head at you.

“Not a fucking chance, not so late, please; just let me sober up, and I’ll drive you back?” Seungcheol pleaded, and you gave in.

“I’m going to clean up,” you said, shoving past him and heading into the kitchen as you started to clean up the mess.

“Let me help,” Seungcheol offered, and you ignored him. “Babe, please, I’m fucking sorry, just let me help you?” Seungcheol asked again, and you failed to notice how close he was standing next to you. You bumped into him, managing to drench yourself in red wine.

“Fuck,” you hissed out as the tears threatened to spill over.

“Go, take a shower, I’ll clean up,” Seungcheol said, taking the glasses out of your hands, and you nodded as you silently walked back to the bedroom and stripped, putting your black dress in the laundry hamper and stepping into the shower.

You felt the tears stream down your face. As you washed up, you started to rationalise the fight in your mind. Maybe you had overreacted, or maybe Seungcheol just got caught up in the moment, hell you’ve been guilty of that yourself when you meet your friends, so why should you hold him to a different standard?

You stepped out of the shower, wrapped yourself in one of Seungcheol’s fluffy white towels, and headed out of the bathroom to find Seungcheol sitting looking forlorn on the edge of the bed.

“I’m fucking sorry,” Seungcheol mumbled, and you sighed as you leant against the wall.

“I may have overreacted a bit. I just wanted to feel loved, but I get it, time and place,” you said.

“I do love you, and tonight I acted like a fucking ass. I just wanted to impress my friends, and I did it at your expense. Can you forgive me?” Seungcheol asked.

“I can,” you said, holding out your hand to him, which he took and walked over until he was towering over you.

“How can I make it up to you?” Seungcheol asked as he placed a soft kiss on your lips, which you gladly reciprocated.

“Well,” you started to say as you undid the towel, letting it drop to the floor, and Seungcheol smiled at you.

“You want to make it up to me, Cheol?” Seungcheol nodded furiously. You reached down and placed your hand gently on the top of his head and moved his head so his face was at your cunt.

“Show me how sorry you are,” you said, guiding his head into your pussy. Seungcheol gently pushed your back into the wall. He lifted your leg and wrapped it around his shoulder. He started by placing soft kisses, gently kissing your cunt. He ran his tongue over your folds, moaning as he tasted your arousal.

“So sweet,” Seungcheol praised and dove back in with more desperation. He moved his tongue to your clit, and flicked his tongue against it. You moaned in approval, and he continued his movements.

He suddenly pulled his mouth away from your core, lifted you, and walked over to your bed. He laid you down gently, and his mouth found your cunt again. Seungcheol positioned himself on his knees at the edge of the bed, his tongue now reaching your entrance. He pushed his tongue inside you, and you mewled at the feeling. He shoved his tongue further into your cunt, and his hand reached your clit.

He rubbed at the swollen nub, and you soon found yourself cumming on his tongue. Your hips bucked against his face as you rode out your orgasm. As soon as you got down from your high, Seungcheol shoved two fingers into your pussy making you squeal at the oversensitivity.

He pushed his fingers deep inside of you until he reached a rough patch of skin, and you squealed. He smirked, and he started moving his wrist up and down, making his fingers repeatedly hit the spot inside you. It had you seeing stars.

Your second orgasm hit you harder as you felt yourself squirt for him. You were clawing at the bedsheet for support; the way he made your body feel was incredible. He latched his full lips around your swollen clit as he furiously pumped his fingers inside you, and a few short licks and you fell apart again.

You whimpered into the bedsheet, which was now soaking wet, and you reached your hands out for him. He smirked, and he pushed you back further onto the bed as he stripped himself. Seungcheol then climbed over and on top of you. He grabbed your legs and wrapped them around his waist. His hard cock was resting against your aching cunt. Just seeing his length made you delirious.

He was so thick the first time you had sex with him, you couldn’t even comprehend his thickness. He made you feel so full and had indeed ruined you for other men. His length was perfect, it was able to go deep inside you, and the thickness another word allowed you to feel so good. He filled you up. You bucked your hips against him, rubbing your wet folds against his cock, and he hissed at that. He pushed himself into you, and you moaned at the stretch.

His hands moved to unwrap your legs and positioned them around his neck. The new position allowed him to go deeper, and he pushed deep into your cunt. His thrusts were paced perfectly. Slow enough to make you feel every inch of his cock, and fast enough to make you moan.

“Harder, Cheol,” you whimpered, and Seungcheol smirked. He pulled out of you and flipped you over onto your hands and knees. He realigned himself and pushed into you.

You and Seungcheol always played rough and pushed each other beyond your limits. Your pussy was making obscene noises as you had cummed so hard. He picked up his pace, knowing he would not last much longer, and his grip went to your throat. You somehow found the ability to tap his hand, letting him know to choke you harder. You liked it, and so did he.

His grip around you tightened. He pushed into you, and you fell apart again. This time, you screamed into the pillow, and Seungcheol released not too long after you. He flipped you back over, laying you down on your back. He moved down again to your pussy, and licked and sucked. He moaned, tasting your release and his.

He always did this; he wanted to lick your pussy after cumming inside you. You didn’t complain. A few more licks and one final suck to your entrance, and you came once again. He placed the last kiss on your cunt and pulled you into his arms.

“I’m still so fucking sorry,” Seungcheol apologised, and you rolled over to place your head on his chest.

“It’s okay, just don’t do it again?” You said, and Seungcheol nodded, pulling you into a soft kiss as he held you until you fell asleep in his arms. The feeling of safety was still there, but why did it feel like there was a slight tear in the safety net that was your love?

You shook it off, thinking it was expected. Couples fought.

You two would be fine.

“Morning gorgeous,” Seungcheol mumbled the following day as he wrapped his arms around your waist while you made tea.

“Hi,” you replied, turning around to face him as he pulled you into a soft kiss.

“I want to talk to you about something,” Seungcheol said, and you looked at him nervously.

“Chill, it’s not a bad thing. Well it is, but it doesn’t affect us,” Seungcheol explained as he guided you into the living room and onto the sofa.

“Yoona, she was my first love, my first everything. Well, not everything, but she sure felt like it. I thought she and I would be together for the rest of our lives. I proposed, and she said yes, and somewhere along the road, everything went wrong. I found out she cheated several times while we were engaged,” Seungcheol explained as you held your breath.

“So, whenever she is mentioned, I get agitated because she ruined me and made me cynical until I met you. You make me happy, happier than I’ve been in a very long time,” Seungcheol explained, and you sighed, feeling terrible for him.

“I want to continue making you happy for a long time, Seungcheol. I won’t ever hurt you like her,” you promised, making him smile at you.

“I love you, and I’m sorry for last night. Look, there’s a cocktail party at the university next Friday evening. I’d like you there and want to show you off to everyone. I want to show off my girl,” Seungcheol said proudly.

“I’d like that,” you said, placing your lips on his plush ones.

You, too, would be fine. It was a slip-up, not a crack in the safety net—just a slip.

“Good god, I was starting to think that Seungcheol had kidnapped you or something,” Mia joked, making you laugh nervously as she entered your apartment and hugged you tightly.

“Why would you think that?” You asked, genuinely concerned about why your best friend had such a vivid imagination.

“Well, you’ve only spoken to me a few times within the four months that you and Seungcheol have been dating, and I say this with as much honesty as I can. Don’t become one of those girls that ditches all her friends once she finds a guy,” Mia joked, but you knew there was some weight to her words.

“Mia, that was in university, and it happened once. I’m not the same person anymore,” you defended, and Mia nodded.

“So why did you want me to come over, girls’ night, or trouble in paradise?” Mia asked, and how you chewed your bottom lip nervously was enough of a tell for Mia to sigh and understand.

“Why don’t you sit? I’ll grab the wine, and I’ll explain everything,” you explained another word, and Mia nodded as she kicked off her shoes and got comfortable on your couch.

You handed her a glass of cabernet and held another glass for yourself as you sat down on the sofa and started telling her about every detail for the last four months. It was going well until you finished recalling the details of last night’s fight.

“Wait, he did fucking what, and you fucking forgave him? Why because he made you cum?” Mia accused, and you cringed. You had just finished recounting the entire story of the dinner with Seungcheol.

“He made a mistake,” you mumbled, and Mia scoffed. “A mistake is forgetting to order dessert, not ignoring your girlfriend, or treating her like she’s a bumbling idiot!” Mia fired back, making you sink into your seat.

“Sorry, you need to talk to him about this. Sex is not an apology, and why did you forgive him? Did he just gaslight you into forgiving him? Is that what happened? Did he say that you’re being crazy or shit like that?” Mia interrogated, and you kept shrinking in your seat.

“Mia, shut up. Stop using such extreme words for him,” you whimpered. You didn’t like how loud her voice had gotten, and she sighed.

“He used sex as an apology. Y/N, do you not know how big of a red flag that is? And the fact that you gave in makes it even worse because you’ve now set the precedent that he can pull this sort of shit with you, and you’ll forgive him if he makes you cum hard enough!” Mia rattled off, and you wanted to smack her if it meant shutting her up. Instead of being rational, you decided to defend your boyfriend, even if it meant doing it at the expense of hurting your best friend.

“Mia fuck you. You were in a relationship with, what was that guy’s name, you remember, the one who cheated on you for four months straight, and you kept taking him back. You’re going to lecture me about being spineless in my relationship when you let a guy walk all over you for four months straight because you were so fucking desperate!” You snarled and regretted the minute the words left your lips because you saw how hurt overtook Mia’s face and how her lower lips trembled.

“I haven’t seen this side of you in a while. You were like this in university, where once you fell for a guy, you became blind to his every flaw and then lashed out at anyone who tried to tell you otherwise. You know what, Y/N, you know where I live. Find me when you decide to take off your rose-coloured glasses. I can’t bear the sight of you right now,” Mia said, placing the wine glass down on your coffee table and storming out of your house.

You felt awful, but Mia was wrong to assume that Seungcheol would use sex as an apology instead of actually apologising instead. You shook your head and sighed, finishing your glass of wine. You would reach out to Mia eventually.

“Fucking hell, you look beautiful, my love. I might just be the luckiest man alive,” Seungcheol praised as you stepped out of your bedroom.

You wore a red evening gown that exposed enough of your chest to be enticing but also respectable for a formal event at a university. You topped off your look with makeup that brought out your best features and slipped on red strappy heels.

“Shall we?” Seungcheol asked.You looked up at him. He was wearing a black suit, and you honestly wanted to skip the university party and have him take you right here. Now, as if he could read your thoughts, Seungcheol laughed.

“Don’t worry, you can rip this suit off me after tonight,” Seungcheol said, making you laugh too as you took his hand and headed to the party.

“Y/N! So lovely to see you again,” Jeonghan greeted when you and Seungcheol entered the venue.

“What about me?” Seungcheol joked childishly, making Jeonghan roll his eyes.

“Needy, isn’t he?” Jeonghan teased, and you laughed.

“But you love me,” Seungcheol said, and you smiled

“I do,” you said, making him smile backbefore he looked up, and he suddenly froze as his eyes fixated on a figure across the room.

“Cheol?” You asked, noticing how Jeonghan also looked tense as both men intently stared at the figure, now making her way across the room to greet them.

“Jeonghan, my favourite law professor, you know my students miss you dearly!” The lady joked.

“Yoona,” Jeonghan acknowledged, and you, like Seungcheol, felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room.

This was Yoona?

This was the woman that broke Seungcheol’s heart? This woman, who Seungcheol failed to explain, worked alongside him. She was a colleague of his. He saw her every day at work, and nowhere during the four months did he think to mention that he still worked alongside his ex-fiancé.

You also felt Seungcheol let go of your hand, and you could have sworn he inched away from you.

“Seungcheol, it’s so lovely to see you, and who might this be?” Yoona asked as her gaze turned to you, making you gulp and then pale in horror as Seungcheol could not answer for a second.

“She’s a friend,” Seungcheol mumbled, and you saw Jeonghan shake his head slightly, and you sighed at him, holding your hand to out to Yoona

“Pleasure to meet you. How do you know Seungcheol?” You asked, feigning innocence, and you heard Seungcheol fail to bite back a hiss.

“I’m a colleague of his, and oh, I guess we have some history, actually pun intended on that.I teach art history here. Are you a prospective student?” Yoona asked, and you stared at her and looked back to see Seungcheol ’s poker face staring back at you.

“No, I’m not a student. I’m amazed that you’d think that,” you replied, unable to keep the slight bite use a different word your tone had to it.

“Well, what do you?” Yoona asked, and you were about to answer when Yoona beat you to the punch.

“Well, you must be a fellow academic. Our Cheol here has a type,” Yoona said as she shot you a wink and waltzed away from the conversation, leaving you a mess and Seungcheol angry.

“Okay, I’m going to leave you two to it,” Jeonghan said as he rushed off too. You started to feel the room close in on you and you just wanted to leave.

“Would you excuse me? I need to make a phone call,” you said hastily as you ripped your arm out of Seungcheol’s hold and nearly ran out of the ballroom and outside to a quieter area of the venue until you found a secluded bench to sit on as you gathered your thoughts.

“I thought I’d find you here,” you turned around to see Seungcheol standing, staring at you withhis hands in his pockets and looking at you with an emotion you couldn’t decipher. Was it guilt or annoyance?

“That’s Yoona?” You asked, and Seungcheol simply stared at you.

“The Yoona?” You repeated, and Seungcheol sighed, nodding as he walked over to stand across from you. You could not look at him.

“What?” Seungcheol asked, and you let out a dry laugh at his ability to be so damn obtuse.

“This is the woman who broke your fucking heart. You work alongside her, and you never once thought to, oh, I don’t know, mention that she is not only your ex but your fucking colleague?” You snarled another word, and Seungcheol sighed.

“Grow up, adultshave to- what?” Seungcheol paused mid-speech when he saw you glaring at him.

“Do not fucking patronise me. This is not an age issue. Your ex,who at the mention of her name, you become a frigid bastard.You failed to mention that you work with her!” You repeated, raising your voice.

“What do you fucking expect me to do to? Run away? We met here, fuck, I’m a grown man. I can’t run from my problems!” Seungcheol shouted back, and you sighed.

“You don’t get it do you?” You choked out.

“No, because you’re acting like a fucking child, and I am not one. I need to deal with every situation, no matter how unpleasant it is!” Seungcheol spat.

“Fuck, shut the fuck up about being more mature because you’re not, not even for a fucking second. How the fuck do you expect to have a future with me when your past is there in front of your eyes every fucking day, and the worst part is that you never told me. You act as if I gave you this new lease on love, but now I don’t know if that’s something you can sustain because the woman who broke your heart is your colleague. What if one day she wants to try again? How do I know that I know that you won’t go running?” You rambled, letting a tear slide down your face.

“You’re being selfish and so fucking unfair,” Seungcheol retorted.“Do you not think so?” Seungcheol asked rhetorically

.“Fucking hell, I told you she cheated on me while I was fucking engaged. Do you think I have no dignity or some shit that I’d go back running to the woman who ruined me?” Seungcheol yelled, and you shrank into yourself.

“Can you just do what I do, and fucking grow up and realise that in life you need to put up with people who you may not what anything to do with, but that’s what being an adult is like?” Seungcheol continued to yell, each word piercing your heart.

“Oh, then again, what would you fucking know about being an adult? You are a 25-year-old with no fucking direction in life. You have no stable job or anything stable. In contrast, all your friends are either settling down, and you fuck, you sit at home with no motivation to go out and find yourself some work,” Seungcheol yelled, using your biggest insecurity against you.

“You have no fucking stability, and you act like a fucking child, so don’t you dare lecture me on how to behave,” Seungcheol spat and then sighed deeply when he realised what he said.

“Y/N-,” Seungcheol started to say, and you held your hand up to him.

“No, fuck don’t, Cheol, don’t you fucking dare. You used my biggest insecurity against me. Who the fuck does that, huh?” You asked, and Seungcheol sighed, looking down.

“As for stability, you’re right. I don’t have a ton, but if there was something that I thought gave me some semblance of stability, I thought it’d be you.I thought that at least it would you, but you aren’t my safety net anymore, are you?” You yelled, and Seungcheol looked down in shame.

“I’m sorry. I told you seeing her makes me turn into something else!” Seungcheol weakly defended, and you glared at him.

“No. Fuck you, you don’t get to do this. What about being an adult, huh? Being an adult means not getting set off by every situation that doesn’t favour you. Instead, it’s about finding ways to cope. It’s about setting boundaries, so your past doesn’t hurt you and hurt the people in your present,” you choked out the last word as Seungcheol took a step forward towards you.

“Y/N,” Seungcheol started to say, and you ignored him.

“Just fucking go back to your party. I’m going home. I’ll text you, but please leave me alone for tonight,” you said, pushing past Seungcheol.

“Please let me know when you get home,” Seungcheol said weakly, and you rolled your eyes at him.

“I said I would, didn’t I? Now, fucking move,” you spat, storming out of the garden and out of the venue as you waited for your Uber to arrive.

You had barely gotten home that night when you heard someone pounding on your front door. You groaned, knowing it was Seungcheol. You glared at the front door, hoping that if you ignored the incessant pounding, then he’d get the hint and he’d just leave, but Seungcheol was relentless. You knew that.

You sighed, walking to the front door and opening it to reveal your teary-eyed boyfriend.

“Baby, can I please explain?” Seungcheol asked, and you ignored him as you let him into your house, and he closed the front door behind him.

You started walking back into the house, Seungcheol trailing behind you. Once you were inside, you turned to him, and before you could say anything. Seungcheol dropped to his knees, hugging your waist, begging for forgiveness. You ran your hands through his hair.

“Cheol, it’s okay.”

Seungcheol carried you to the shower, where he helped you shower and clean. He helped you dry up and pulled you into his arms once you were both curled up on the bed.

Seungcheol ’s fingers were gently ghosting your cunt. You felt him turn you to face him; he captured your lips in his full ones. His hand finding your core, rubbing your clit, he did this till you fell apart. He repeated that almost four times until he pushed himself inside you till he came.

You couldn’t sleep that night. Only one question plagued your mind.

Since when did sex make up for an apology?

You woke up the following day sore and worn out. Not just from the fight last night that left you out and alone in the cold but also from Seungcheol fucking you into the mattress. You heard faint snores from him, and you took it as an opportunity to get some alone time. You wondered, did he think sex would make up for what had happened?

After showering and cleaning yourself up, you headed to the kitchen to make breakfast, subconsciously making breakfast for two. You were stirring the noodles waiting for the water to boil, when you felt two strong arms wrap around your waist. You felt Seungcheol place kisses along your neck, and you melted into his embrace for a second until the events of last night came back to you.

“Cheol, can you set the table up? I’ll get breakfast ready.” You said and you felt Seungcheol press a kiss to your cheek before running off to set the dining table. Once you made your way over with the contents of breakfast, you sat down and started to eat.

“Baby?” Seungcheol’s voice broke the silence, and you looked up to see him staring at you. His eyes were red, brimming with tears. You felt your heart clench.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry about last night,” Seungcheol started to apologise again; his voice was breaking as he tried to contain himself.

“Which part, Seungcheol? The part where you failed to introduce me as your girlfriend, or the part where you threw my insecurities against me, or the part where you told me to grow the fuck up?” You fumed.

“All of it, all of it,” Seungcheol said, standing up to kneel in front of you. “I fucked up so much, but,” Seungcheol started to say, and you interrupted him.

“If you think that fucking me last night made it better, it didn’t because now I’m wondering if you think sex is the solution to all our problems,” you said.

“Never, I just, I’m shit with words at times, and I knew that at least my actions could prove my love to you. It’s a shit thing to do, but I didn’t do it to distract you from last night,” Seungcheol replied.

“I want to talk about everything, but I want a breakdown of everything. First, why did you pull away from me when you saw Yoona? Were you embarrassed?” you asked, your voice breaking, and Seungcheol shook his head.

“Of course not,” Seungcheol replied swiftly, and you glared at him.

“Because all I do wonder if when you call what we have love, you never call it what it is,” you admitted, and Seungcheol sighed as he stood up.

“Come on, let’s talk on the couch,” Seungcheol offered, and you stood up, taking Seungcheol ’s hand as you walked over to your couch.

“I tell you, I love you,” Seungcheol said, and you nodded.

“You do tell me that you love me, but the way you do it is like it’s a secret,” you mumbled, feeling a tear roll down your cheek.

“I get that I’m younger, and I’m not some fancy professor with a huge savings account, but the way you act at times, you act like you are ashamed of me. Fuck, for Yoona to say that you deviated from your type to date me. What does that mean? Am I some charity case, where you’ll date a non-academic girl, and then later I’ll be a notch in your belt, a funny story to tell over Christmas, with your real wife, and everything?” You babbled as you broke into a sob, and you felt Seungcheol pull you into his arm as he hugged you tightly.

“You think about a future with me?” Seungcheol asked, and you scoffed.

“Is that all you took from everything I just said?” You asked.

“No, but it gave me hope. Look, Yoona brings out the worst in me, and you were right last night to tell me that as adults, we can let that jar us or act out because that’s life, right? Meeting people and getting to know people you may not like is life, but Yoona, at one point, was my life. She was my future until she ruined it. Every time I see her, I lash out because I’m brought back to the headspace that I was in when she cheated,” Seungcheol explained, pausing to take a breath.

“She reminds me of every insecurity I had, she takes me back to a very dark headspace, and instead of working my way out of that, I lash out because fuck, I’m scared that it’ll happen again,” Seungcheol admitted looking down.

“You think I’d cheat on you?” You asked.

“No, but you’re young, gorgeous, and still have so much ahead of you. I woudn’t blame you if you found someone your age,” Seungcheol mumbled, making you scoff again.

“I’m with you, aren’t I? Unless this is your plan? Pushing me so far that I no longer want to be with you? Is that what you’re trying to do?” You asked, and Seungcheol shook his head immediately.

“Then why the fuck is this constantly an issue?” You snapped, and Seungcheol winced slightly at your tone.

“I guess when I first started dating you, you were so different and, in a good way, a fresh breath of air, but everyone around me started joking that maybe you know it was just a fling because we are so opposite at times. However, as the months with you progressed, I know that’s not it.I know I love you, and I’m so fucking sorry that for so long I made you feel otherwise,”

Seungcheol paused to take a breath. “I love you, and I am serious about this. I want to make this work, I do,” Seungcheol admitted another word.

“Then stop lashing out at me and talk to me. Stop running away from me, run to me instead,” you said softly, and Seungcheol smiled at you.

“I didn’t mean what I said about you having no stability. It was so fucking shitty of me to use your insecurity against you. I just, fuck, there’s no excuse, I’m just fucking sorry,” Seungcheol apologised, his head hanging low.

“Yeah, that stung. Look, how about we take a week, cool off, and I guess catch up in a week?” You offered, and Seungcheol agreed.

“How’s this, I’ll plan a getaway for us, and I’ll cook us food too!” Seungcheol suggested, and you laughed.

“I’ll follow a recipe to a tee and have Mingyu monitor me?” Seungcheol proposed making you grin at him.

“Fine, but if I get sick from your food,” you started to say, and Seungcheol laughed.

“Then I’ll kiss it all better for you,” Seungcheol said lamely.

“I’ll see you in a week, my love, and remind you why you fell in love with me,” Seungcheol promised as he placed a soft kiss on your lips, and you smiled as you watched him walk away.

You let out a breath you didn’t realise that you were holding when he walked away. You nodded to yourself. You and Seungcheol would be fine, this was a slight tear in the safety net, but you two would be fine, you convinced yourself, for it was only a tiny tear.

“Hey,” you mumbled, embarrassed, as Mia opened her front door the following evening.

“What, have you come here to tell me I deserve no love or something?” Mia spat, and you felt like you had been slapped, and looked down in shame. You deserved that much.

“Mia, I fucked up. Can we talk, though?” You asked, holding the box of doughnuts in your hand, and she sighed, nodding as she let you in.

“So, what, I’m assuming the Mr. Perfectly Wrong fucked up again?” Mia mocked, and you sighed as you kicked off your shoes and sat on her couch.

“He was engaged in the past, and she was like his dream girl,” you said, unable to stop the way your voice trembled at recalling Yoona and realising how she was the opposite of you. She was dignified, elegant, older, wiser, or whatever other negative thought you tortured yourself with.

“She still works with him. They both teach at the university; he never told me, Mia. I had to find out because I met her at a university event,” you mumbled, unable to stop the tear that slid down your face.

Mia sighed as she sat down next to you, and you took it as a positive sign to launch into the story of the fight.

“Oh, that mother fucker!” Mia swore, and you flinched at her expression.

“Mia, he was hurt,” you mumbled, and she scoffed.

“How many excuses do you want to give this piece of shit? I get that love is blind. I fucking do. You cruelly pointed it out to me, but let me tell you something, my love, he’s blinded you. He’s no good for you. He’s condescending, judgmental, rude, and worst of all you keep forgiving him when he gives you half-assed apologies!” Mia ranted, making you look down in shame.

“Is that who you want to fucking be with?” Mia asked. “A man who keeps you like a secret, aman who acts like you’re a kid, a man who talks down to you?” You sighed.

“Maybe it’s just a bad spell. He’s not like this, ever,” you defended, and Mia groaned, rubbing her forehead.

“This man, I don’t care how good the sex is or how amazing the good moments are. The good moments aren’t enough to mask that he is inherently flawed and has a complex. A complex that he will project onto you, and you will struggle to try to meet the ideal woman in his head. Still, you’ll try all your life because that woman doesn’t exist, and not to be unkind, but it’s because that woman will never exist for him. He doesn’t know what he wants,” Mia explained, calming down as she sat down next to you.

“He said he loved me,” you mumbled weakly, and Mia nodded.

“I’m not denying that he cares for you, but his ego comes before you, Y/N. You will bend over backward for this man, and you have, but see if he even bothers to put in an ounce of that same effort that you put into this relationship,” Mia continued , and you glared at her.

“You know what? I didn’t come here to be yelled at. I get enough of that from him!” You seethed, and Mia frowned at you.

“There, right there, if you can’t even figure out what’s so fucked up about that sentence, then I don’t know what even to tell you,” Mia said.

“We’ve hit a rough spot, but we’ll be fine,” you shouted, almost as if you were convincing yourself more than Mia.

“You know what, I’ll be here when this illusion is broken,” Mia mumbled, standing up, and you took that as your cue to leave.

You stormed out of Mia’s house and drove straight to Seungcheol’s.

“Baby?” Seungcheol asked when he opened the door and saw your downcast expression.

“What’s wrong?” Seungcheol asked, and you shook your head at him.

“Can I stay here? I know we’re meant to meet at the end of the week, but I just need you,” you asked.

“Of course, my love, you know where everything is. I just have to grade one more paper. Then I’ll join you?” Seungcheol asked.

You were so worn out from the week's dramatics that you quickly showered, changed into one of Seungcheol ’s shirts, and headed to bed. You curled up in Seungcheol ’s bed. You smiled when you felt him join you later that night, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

Protecting you, never letting you go, he was your safe space.

You woke up the following morning to something stroking your thighs, and you opened your eyes to see Seungcheol ’s head placed between your legs. He was kissing your inner thighs, slowly making his way to your cunt.

You moaned as you spread your legs, placing them onto his shoulders. Seungcheol ’s luscious lips wrapped around your clit.

As he sucked, his pressure was perfect. He pushed in two fingers and thrust them in your cunt, as he sucked on your clit. He licked and fingered until you came around his fingers. Occasionally, he would run his tongue up and down your wet folds but always go back to your cunt.

“Morning, princess,” Seungcheol greeted as he hovered over your body and captured your lips in a sweet kiss. It felt like the first time you slept with him.

Passionate yet soft, you felt loved, and that was not something you felt in his embrace for a while.

“Morning, handsome,” you mumbled sleepily as Seungcheol pulled you on top of him. You felt his cock hard and waiting. You moved and sat up and slowly sank on his length.

“Fuck!” You let out a groan of pleasure. He felt so good inside you. You lifted your legs and started moving your hips, riding him. You felt his grip tighten on your thighs as he helped you ride him.

You wanted to see him fall apart underneath you. You trailed your hands to his fingers, and your nails grazed his nipples, making him buck into you. You moaned as his hips pushed his cock deeper inside you. You kept riding him until you felt him still and released inside you. You sighed, feeling his warmth fill up your cunt. You hadn’t cum yet, and Seungcheol knew that.

“Princess, over here,” Seungcheol motioned to your mouth, and you moved, legs shaking as you sat on his waiting tongue. Seungcheol, as always, licked you clean of his cum.

You both were still in bed in the afternoon, simply embracing and kissing each other, when Seungcheol spoke, breaking the silence.

“So, do you want to make the trip a little earlier?” Seungcheol asked, and you looked at him, smiling.

“Can you take leave on such short notice?” You asked.

“Baby, it’s reading week for the students, so yes, I don’t need to worry about them for now. I want to focus on us.”

~~A Trip Upstate~~

“Got everything?” You asked Seungcheol for the fifth time. You had to stop yourself from laughing as your boyfriend kept going back and forth between his apartment and his car, forgetting something with each trip.

“Wait, oh, for the fucking love of god. I forgot the car keys,” Seungcheol groaned as he ran back into the house, and you laughed at him some more. You were still laughing when he came back.

“Hi,” Seungcheol said sweetly as he wrapped his arms around your waist, capturing you in a warm hug.

“I like seeing you like this, happy and laughing,” Seungcheol said, making you smile at him.

“Well, you make me laugh and happy,” you admitted, placing your chin on his chest and looking up at him.

“I’ve been fucking that up a lot, but I promise you, this time I won’t fuck up. I love you, and I need to get back to showing you that it’s not an empty promise,” Seungcheol spoke, and you reached up to pull him into a soft kiss.

“I love you, and thank you,” you mumbled against his lips.

“Shall we, my love? There’s a nice cabin I want to take you to upstate, and it has our names written on it,” Seungcheol said , and you nodded as he helped you into the car.

The drive up to the cabin was filled with jokes, laughter, and a few kisses here and there. It felt normal. Like you finally got your Seungcheol back, like all the fights could be forgotten because he was back to normal here. However, that hope ended the second you and Seungcheol started fighting over how to cook a dish.

“Why are you so mean about this? I’m helping you; you don’t even know how to peel a fucking onion!” You snapped at Seungcheol, who was crushing the microwavable rice packet.

“I might not know how to peel a fucking onion, but at least I’m not a 25-something that has no fucking direction in life!” Seungcheol spat back, making you exhale deeply.

“Y/N,” Seungcheol started to say, and you glared at him.

“No, Cheol, what the fuck, what the actual fuck? You’ve been using my insecurity against me twice now, and what-do you think each time you apologise, I’ll come back crawling? Or something? I’m tired of this, and I’m,” you took a deep breath to collect yourself.

You would not let Seungcheol see you fall apart, not when he was the reason behind the tears.

“We’re done,” You stated calmly, glaring at Seungcheol, who didn’t dare follow you as you walked away,.You grabbed your overnight bag and called an Uber, heading out of the cabin.

You weren’t sure if you had properly ended the relationship between the two of you, but you were tired of constantly giving him the benefit of the doubt, and for him to only shatter it the second he felt remotely attacked.

1 Month Later: The Breaking Point

“Don’t you fucking dare,” you mumbled to Mia, who had picked you up from the floor of your house last night. You had called her on your way back home, and thankfully she didn’t ask many questions, and just tried to help you.

Since you left Seungcheol, you didn’t know where you two stood. He made no effort to contact you, so you just assumed that since you yelled. “We are done,” at him, that you were.

Seungcheol took the hint and left you, but what pained you the most was that he could never run after you.

You craved his touch, his voice. You wanted him, but his lack of effort made you think he wanted nothing to do with you. Were you just a waste of time for him?

You thought that what you two had was a masterpiece, or what was that before he tore it all apart? Or was it you? Were you the one who tore it all to pieces?

All that to say, you had held yourself together, well, or at least you could put on a happy face. You just plastered on a fake smile and went on about your day. You put your efforts into your job out of spite.

You wanted to prove to Seungcheol that you weren’t some bumbling idiot, but instead, you were a 25-year-old with things going for her. You wanted him to see you wanted him to be proud of you, but he wasn’t here to see it. Maybe he never cared.

Your breaking point was this afternoon. You had just secured a huge contract, and just as you had signed on the dotted line, you wanted to share it with Seungcheol. You froze mid-text when you realised that he wouldn’t care. He wouldn’t care if you had done something remarkable because you two were done, so why should he care?

So, you started bawling at home and shakily dialed Mia’s number, and that’s when she came to your rescue. She came to find you when you were at your lowest, and you felt guilt engulf you. You had defended Seungcheol to her, insulting her viciously, but she never batted an eyelid.

“You know most people say thank you,” Mia joked, and you sighed.

“I am thankful, trust me, more than you know. I know you want to say I told you so, so go for it,” you snapped, and Mia shook her head as she helped you sit on the couch.

“He lost the one real thing he had. That’s not on you. He never fought enough for you,” Mia explained as she pulled you into a gentle hug, which made you blubber and, thus, make you cry more.

“Nothing, nothing from him, for a fucking month, Mia! Nothing. I thought he loved me and saw a future with me and all that bullshit, but he did not fucking bother, not once, to even be like, are you okay? Nothing, he just, fuck, wait, I think my phone is ringing in the bag. Can you help me grab it?” You asked, and Mia nodded, scrunching her nose at the private number.

“I swear if it’s that fucker calling through a random ass number to get to you, he’s going to get the living lights smacked out of him,” Mia threatened as she handed your phone to you.

“Hello?” You answered.

“Hello, Miss Y/N. We have been given your number as an emergency contact. Do you know Mr. Choi Seungcheol ?”

“I’m sorry. Who are you?” You asked, your voice trembling. What happened to Seungcheol?

“Sorry, I’m Nurse Lee. I’m calling from the Seoul National Hospital. We have been given your number as an emergency, so we are calling to ask if you could come down and sign a few things for us?” You sighed in relief, but only slightly.

You got into your car, not caring if you got a fine for speeding. You reached the hospital and parked, running in your heels to the main lobby. You frantically explained that you got a call and were quickly ushered upstairs to the wards.

You heard laughing and opened the door to see your ex-boyfriend laughing with the doctor. His eyes widened as he saw, and just like that, his laughter faded. The doctor noticed your presence, and he waved you in.

“You must be Y/N. Thank you for coming here. We just need to discharge him, and we need you to sign a few forms for him.” You nodded, still confused, “I’ll be back in around thirty minutes. I’ll let you two catch up.” The doctor left the room and left you both alone.

“Cheol?” You said softly.

Seungcheol wasn’t looking at you. You walked to his bedside when you saw there was enough space. You sat down slowly and held his face in your hands. He reluctantly looked at you.

“What happened?” you asked. You let go of his face so he could talk.

“It’s not a big deal,” He said. You rolled your eyes.

“It is, especially if you’re in the hospital.” You countered.

“Don’t laugh.” He said, warning you. You nodded. “So, long story short, I may have dropped a knife on my foot.” You looked at him, perplexed.

“How?” “I was cooking, and it was going well. Then the knife slid off the counter and onto my foot. I didn’t lose a toe, just a lot of blood. So yeah, by the time I got here, I passed out from blood loss, and I guess that’s why they called you.” He blurted in one go, and you tried to stifle a laugh.

“Seriously?” He said, but you could hear the smile in his voice. His heart warmed at the sight of you smiling. It had been so long since he was the reason for your smile.

“I’m so sorry, but why were you trying to cook?” You asked.

Seungcheol ’s laugh faded, and he paused. “I noticed a lot about me that I’m not good at. Cooking is at the top. I felt as if I could attempt to conquer that maybe I can do more in life,” Seungcheol looked down at his hands covered in wires. You touched his thigh, making him look at you.

“You are good at so much,” you countered, and Seungcheol shook his head.

“Professionally, maybe, but my personality? No. Nothing great there,” Seungcheol said, resignation lacing his tone. You opened your mouth to say something, and Seungcheol spoke first. “I’m not saying this to guilt-trip you into taking me back. After you broke up with me, I started seeing someone,” your hand jerked away from his thigh, which confused Seungcheol until he saw the heartbreak on your face.

“No, Y/N. I meant seeing a professional,” Seungcheol said, laughing.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, unsure what you were apologising for.

“If you think I’m even close to being able to move on from you, you’re insane.”

“Come on, let me drive you home?” You said, Seungcheol nodded.

“I appreciate it, thank you.”

While driving, something occurred to you, and you had to ask. “Cheol, um, how come I was your emergency number? Last I remembered, you said it was Jeonghan?” Seungcheol blushed and scratched his neck.

“Uh, well, it’s embarrassing now, but I changed it three months into us dating,” his confession, making you almost drive through a red light.

“Why?”

“Ugh, I sound so stupid because we’re not together, but I guess I wanted you to know I trust you. I know my actions during our relationship were deeply contradictory to that. I also knew that you would be the one for me.”

“The one? In three months?” You asked.

Seungcheol smiled fondly at you. “Can you pull over?”

Seungcheol fished out his wallet, looked for something, and pulled out a small silver ring.

“Seungcheol, what the fuck?”

“Trust me; it’s not a proposal. I don’t think I’ll be that lucky. I just thought it was something I should get after three months. I wanted to give this to you, but then I hurt you so many times after, and each time, we tried to make it work, and I kept on fucking it up for us. It was a promise ring that I’d never hurt you again, and I guess I failed.” Seungcheol admitted, and you noticed a tear fall down his face.

“Why do you still have the promise ring?” You asked.

“Wishful thinking, I guess?” Seungcheol replied.

“I miss you,” you mumbled, and Seungcheol heard you.

“We can try again,” you offered weakly.

“No, not yet. Let me learn. Let me be a better man for you. If I can’t, then know you deserve so much more,” Seungcheol spoke, and you smiled softly at him.

You resumed driving. Upon reaching Seungcheol ’s house, you pulled up and helped him out of the car and into his apartment. You laughed when you saw the floor covered in blood. It was not a normal reaction, but the backstory was quite amusing.

“Hey, Cheol, why don’t you lie down? I’ll clean this up for you?” You said.

“No, I can manage,”

You glared at him. “Trust me,it’s safer that I do this,” You laughed as you watched him hobble to his bedroom. Thank goodness he didn’t live in a multi-story house.

After cleaning up, you found Seungcheol sitting in his bed, playing music and softly humming. You knocked on his door. Seungcheol smiled and waved you in.

“Hi.”

“Blood’s gone,” you said, and he patted the space next to you, and you sat down on the bed next to him.

“Thank you. Somehow, you’re always cleaning after my mess.”

“Seungcheol, don’t,” your voice firm.

“I cannot even begin to tell you how sorry I am. Fuck, come here,” he patted the space in front of him. You carefully moved and sat between his legs so as not to hurt his bandaged foot. Seungcheol pulled your hair to the side, kissing softly on the nape of your neck.

“Just please, don’t break me apart again because I don’t think I’ll recover anymore if you do,” you pleaded, and Seungcheol turned you around in his embrace so that you faced him.

“Never again, I promise,” Seungcheol promised. bullshit

“Okay, so where is your boyfriend?” Mia asked, venom dripping off every word, and you rolled your eyes at her.

“He probably got caught up with work. Can you fucking let it go?” You asked, and Mia shrugged.

“I’m just saying, for a man walking on thin fucking ice, he better at least bother with his girlfriend’s birthday party,” Mia stated before walking out of the room to place balloons in another part of your apartment.

You sighed, knowing she was right, but Seungcheol was busy. Maybe he’d be late, but he’d show up. You kept telling yourself this until midnight when he never showed up, but you were several drinks in and had enough liquid courage to storm over to his place, which is precisely what you did.

You hailed a cab and made the drunken journey to his.

Your conscience was warning you. You paid no attention.

Yousure as hell ignored it for long enough. You could continue to do so.

You knocked on the door, and the door opened to reveal a shirtless Seungcheol in a pair of black sweats. You had lost all sense of rationality, and at this point, you didn’t know what was right or wrong.

“Y/N?” Seungcheol asked, confused, as would anyone. He couldn’t help but take in your appearance, how your cleavage left little to the imagination, but he knew the reality was better, how your heels made your ass seem even rounder. Your face was beautiful as always, but your mascara had run slightly, and your nose was red.

“Can I come in?” You asked. He nodded quickly, letting you in and closing the door behind him.

Seungcheol slowly guided you to the sofa, and he sat down, waiting for you to sit beside him. Instead, you straddled him, your legs on either side of his hips.

“My birthday. I got a crappy, “happy birthday” text from you, and you don’t show up to my party. What the fuck is wrong with you? This is not the attitude from someone who wants another chance,” you fumed, and Seungcheol stared at you sighing. He had no excuse, none whatsoever.

“Y/N, I—” You shut Seungcheol up with a kiss. You rolled your hips against his crotch, and you could feel that underneath his sweats, he was naked. No boxers. You could partially feel his cock against your lace-covered cunt.

“Y/N, I, what’s going on, fuck,” Seungcheol stopped speaking as you started sucking his neck, gently grazing your teeth against his neck andmaking him whimper for you. You felt his cock harden fully underneath you. You pulled away from his neck for a moment.

“Cheol, at this moment, I need to forget that I’m mad at you,” you admitted, and Seungcheol sighed before nodding as his grip on your thighs tightened.

“I’m not saying no; you don’t need to apologise, and you don’t need to leave, but we need to talk when we’re done,” Seungcheol added.

“I will.”

“Good.” Cheol stood up from his position and carried you into the bedroom. And he noticed your makeup had smudged and brought you to the bathroom. He placed you on the counter, his lips immediately finding yours. Kissing you, his lips pulled and sucked on yours. You moaned, allowing him to slip his tongue inside your mouth.

Seungcheol deepened the kiss. His hands found the straps of your dress; he pushed them down. You hissed as your breasts met the cold air of the room. Seungcheol helped you out of the dress, leaving you in your soaked underwear. He groaned at the sight. His hands went to your legs, pushing the heels off your feet, his lips never leaving yours. He moved his hands to your underwear and pulled it off. He groaned when he saw how wet you were.

He pushed his sweats down and undressed; he stood erect and naked in front of you, and you took a moment to drink in his appearance. Seungcheol guided you into the shower, and you let out a moan, when you felt the warm water hit your skin. Soothing you, you felt Seungcheol turn you around and push your back against the wall. He placed kisses down your neck, his lips finding your breasts. He sucked and nibbled your nipple as his other hand massaged and squeezed and tugged the other breast. Cheol moved his body down yours as his lips found your cunt.

Seungcheol placed a soft kiss. He gently lifted a leg and wrapped it around his broad shoulders. He pushed two fingers inside of you, groaning at how wet you were, where he could practically taste your arousal. He angled his fingers inside you and started to finger you, and his lips found your core, as he ran his tongue against your folds.

He pulled your clit between his teeth, gently grazing the swollen bud. You whimpered. He replaced his teeth with his plush lips. Wrapping them around your clit and sucking as his fingers pounded into you. He kept his movements up until you came. You tightened against his fingers, and your clit throbbed in his mouth as he helped you ride out your orgasm.

Seungcheol gently unhooked your leg from his, and you sank to your knees. You pushed against his toned abs, and his back hit the shower wall. You wrapped your lips around his cock; he was thick. While your hands wrapped around the remainder of his length, you took him and started to suck him. He let out a low growl and a strangled whimper as you continued to suck him. You grazed your nails along his thighs and whimpered, bucking his length into your throat, making you gag slightly. You kept sucking until you felt him still and releasein your mouth.

You smirked as Seungcheol was panting. He pulled you two on your feet and into a sweet kiss. He cleaned the both of you up, his hands finding your face and washing the smudged mascara off your face. He guided you out of the shower and to his bed. You moaned as you felt the soft sheets against your naked body.

Seungcheol couldn’t get enough of you. His eyes drank you in. His mouth was desperate to taste you again. He approached you, lifted your legs, and placed them on his shoulder. His mouth found your cunt again. He started by placing soft kisses against your cunt, knowing where to lick you.

He wasted no time. He dove straight in, his thick tongue flicking against your swollen clit. Your hands made their way into his hair. He pushed in three fingers this time. He lapped at your arousal while you whimpered in oversensitivity. It didn’t take much after that for you to cum on his tongue.

Seungcheol rubbed his cock against your wet folds several times and then pushed in. You hissed as the stretch was quite intense after two orgasms, but he felt so good. You tugged on his hair, making him look up at you. You brushed your thigh against his hardened length, and he wasted no time.

“Move”, you whispered, and that’s all it took for Seungcheol to lift your legs and place them on his shoulders, allowing him to hit deeper inside you. His thrusts were rough, and each time, he would withdraw only to push back harder and deeper.

He leaned down and captured your lips in his. You melted into the kiss while he pounded into your cunt. You were a mumbling and moaning mess underneath him. You felt yourself clench around this length, making him groan into the kiss. He pushed a few more times until you fell apart on his cock.

He pulled out of you gently and laid down beside you.

You woke up a few hours later, not realising you had fallen asleep.

You woke up to at least thirty texts and missed calls from Mia, and you sighed, stepping out of Seungcheol’s bedroom to call her. You quickly told her what happened last night, and Mia could only relay her disappointment.

“Do you not see how far gone you are, Y/N; you’re making excuses for him. People like him don’t do this just once.”

“He was busy and couldn’t make it,” you explained, and Mia scoffed.

“Y/N, I’m telling you as someone who has been through something like this. He will leave you broken.” You scoffed, and your following words were nothing but pure venom.

“Mia, you had a relatively hot boyfriend, and he dumped your ass. So I guess you’re not too different to me since the only thing you’re good for is looking the way you do. You couldn’t keep him either..” You kept your voice stern and firm.

Mia groaned. “I won’t ever say I told you so, but when the inevitable happens, you know where to find me. I’ll listen because I know you won’t.” With that, Mia hung up.

You sank to the floor.

How did a loving relationship with your boyfriend leave you so drained and lashing out at others to defend him? What went wrong?

“Hey, did I interrupt something?” Seungcheol asked, startling you, and you stood up, shaking your head. You didn’t want to get into it with him right now.

“Here,” Seungcheol said, handing you a coffee mug, and you nodded, taking it.

“You’re right. My actions last night weren’t of a boyfriend trying hard to prove that he’s worthy of being with you,” Seungcheol explained, and you rolled your eyes.

“I’m tired of hearing you apologise. I need you to show me that you’re fucking sorry,” you said .

“What about a date tomorrow? There’s a gala at my university. Don’t worry, it won’t be like last time, I promise,” Seungcheol begged, and you sighed, nodding.

You weren’t exactly sure what made you want to give him a second chance, but maybe because you loved him or the idea of him, you weren’t entirely sure which one. You just knew that regardless of what the situation was with you two. With him, it still felt like home somehow.

DIVDER:

You and Seungcheol walked hand in hand to his gala; this time, he wasn’t distant, curt, or moody. He was jovial, greeted everyone, and introduced you until Yoona entered the picture.

Seungcheol wasn’t flirting, but he sure as hell didn’t bother to hide how happy and excited he was to see his ex, considering he spent nearly 45 minutes talking to her. You stormed out of the venue and waited by his car until he noticed.. oblivious to your anger.

“Waiting long?” Seungcheol asked, and you scoffed.

“I’m amazed you remembered I existed. You seemed to be taken by Yoona. I thought I was a distant memory,” you mocked, earning a glare from Seungcheol.

“Let’s just go home, yeah?” Seungcheol asked, and you nodded, following him into his car.This time, he didn’t help you in.“When the fuck did I give you a reason to think I’d cheat? How many times do I need to fucking tell you that Yoona and I are done?” Seungcheol bellowed suddenly, and you sighed.

“That’s not the fucking point!” You yelled back, and Seungcheol sighed, loosening his tie.

“The point is that you always gloss over our problems, you always act like I’m a child or something, and you never tell me the truth. When I get mad, you act like I’m insane even to be upset. Do you know how that fucking feels?” You yelled, and Seungcheol glared at you.

“Not my fucking problem thatyou don’t understand how the fuck relationships work, or maybe you’re too fucking immature to make one work,” Seungcheol hissed as his grip on the steering wheel only got tighter.

“This is so fucking rich coming from you considering the fucking fact your ex dumped you, and yet you’re so obsessed with her that you didn’t care that she cheated on you. Instead of spending the night with me, someone who loves you, you cosied up to someone who walked all over you!” You yelled.

“Y/N, get out of the car before I make you!” Seungcheol yelled, making you whimper at his tone and words.

“Seungcheol, please, I’m so sorry,” you were begging, but Seungcheol ignored you. He leaned over and opened the car door. You looked at him; his eyes were trained on the road ahead.

“Seungcheol, please don’t do this,” you begged. You knew you couldn’t change his mind, but you were scared. He didn’t seem to care. You reluctantly exited the car, gently closing the door behind you. Seungcheol wasted no time, and he sped away, drove off, and left you alone in the dark.

You were freezing, and your outfit did nothing to counter the cold. You let out a sob, your feet in absolute agony from the heels, and your mind an emotional mess. You pulled your phone out of your purse to call someone. You called Seungcheol, no response. You sighed more. Seeing as he would ignore you the entire night, you called the last person you could think of.

“Y/N? What? It’s two in the morning. What do you want?” Mia’s voice was hoarse and laced with sleep. You tried to reply but couldn’t help the whimper that escaped your throat.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Mia asked, her voice now concerned.

“I don’t know where I am, and it’s dark and cold. I’m so sorry for disturbing you. I shouldn’t have—”

“Y/N, stop, pin me your location. I’m coming to get you,” You sobbed out a thank you and sent her your location.

Around twenty minutes later, you saw a car enter the empty street, and it screeched to a halt suddenly. Mia stepped out with a coat and ran towards you. She wrapped the coat around your body. She didn’t ask questions; she just guided you to heris car.

“Let’s get you home,” Mia said. She was fuming, but she was scared that if she yelled at you now—which she surely would, she’d break you into two.

“Do you want me to come in?” Mia asked as she pulled up outside your apartment, and you shook your head.

“I just need time alone, but thank you, Mia,” you said, who nodded as she watched you leave the car before waving to you and driving off.

“Baby! You’re safe!” You turned around to see Seungcheol running after you, and you sighed as you walked into your apartment. Seungcheol followed you, and this scene was one you knew all too well.

“You threw me out of the car!” You yelled the minute you were inside the apartment.

“I was scaredI’d say something worse if you stayed. I was trying to mitigate further damage.”

You rolled your eyes at him.“You’re a fucking moron.”

“I am, but I came back, I—” you interrupted him.

“For what? To apologise?” You asked, and you hated that hope still coated your words.

“No, because I can’t do this anymore. I can’t, you’re acting so fucking immature, but we’re not good for each other. I need someone who gets me. I can’t coddle you every five seconds because you got your fucking feelings hurt,” Seungcheol said, finality lacing his words.

“So, if we were closer in age, we would have worked?” You asked, and Seungcheol sighed, nodding.

“I’ll send someone for my things, and I’ll mail your things back to you by the end of the week,” Seungcheol mumbled as he walked out of your apartment.

He left as quickly as he came into your life. You’d experienced heartbreak before, but nothing like this. You wanted to die. You tried to stop feeling because the pain manifested into physical pain as you felt your entire body go numb and limp. You couldn’t handle it, and you felt all too much all at once.

The Reeling

It had been two weeks since Seungcheol broke up with you and after he returned your things to youin a box with no goodbye letter and nothing to give you any semblance of closure, you impulsively booked a train ticket to see your folks

If Seungcheol didn’t want to coddle you, you tried to find comfort in the two people you knew would.

“Y/N?” She was confused by how upset you were. Your mother practically yelled when she saw you at the front door, and you burst into tears the minute she saw you and hugged her.

“I missed you,” you cried into her arms while she was happy to see you.

“Come in. Why don’t you go to your room freshen up?” You nodded.

“Hi, stranger.” You said, scaring your father, who was too engrossed in a crossword puzzle.

“Y/N!” He yelled, standing up to hug you.

“Oh, who’s ass do I need to kick for you crying?” You shook your head.

“No one, I just missed you guys,” you lied, and your parents nodded knowingly.

“Freshen up, honey. We’ll be right here with food and a drink?” You nodded at your mother and headed to shower

“Seungcheol,” You answered your phone that was ringing. You had just gotten out of the shower and were drying your hair.

“Uh, hi. Sorry, I wanted to pick up my hoodie. I left it at yours, but you weren’t there, and I just wanted to check when you’d be back so I could get it?” Seungcheol asked, so casually, so casually cruel.

At least he was honest. You knew nothing was left there anymore,

“I’m visiting my folks; I’ll send it to yours when I’m back,” you said, keeping your tone neutral and devoid of emotions.

“Cool. Thanks,” Seungcheol said, hanging up before you could get a word out.

You broke down again. He called you, only to break you all over again.

“So, it’s a boy problem? It’s got to be,” your father mused after dinner. You two and your mother were in the living room, sipping wine and catching up.

“I was a fucking idiot. I gave him a chance after chance,he walked all over me, and I let him because I loved him,” you whined to your parents, who smiled sympathetically at you.

“I would rather you didn’t call yourself that. I didn’t raise one.” You smiled at your dad’s attempt to be funny.

“Well, I was,” You sighed, sipping the wine. You decided you’d tell your parents everything aside from the ridiculous amounts of sex that led you up to this moment.

“Why did you want to try so hard to keep him?” Your mother asked, and you shrugged.

“Because I loved him, or so I thought I did, but love shouldn’t hurt this much,” you mumbled. “You know what? I was right when I believed that love is this huge thing that doesn’t exist, and aside from you two, I don’t see it anywhere.” You said, and your parents smiled softly,

“Honey, love isn’t easy. It takes so much effort and time to get it right, and even then, you can screw it up.”

“Then what, I screwed up?” You accused, and your mother shook her head.

“No, you tried and broke yourself into two to become someone he wanted. That is the furthest thing from love. It’ll hurt, but one day, when your paths cross again, you’ll be able to smile at him with no malice and thank him for putting you through hell because you’ll know what you never want again,” your mother explained, pulling you into a tight hug as you sobbed.

“He couldn’t even be bothered to attend my birthday,” you mumbled, sniffling pathetically, and your father nodded.

“That’s not a good sign, if I’m being honest, isn’t it meant to be fun, a birthday party?” Your father asked, and you could only shrug.

“Get your hair done or something,” your mum suggested the following week.

“Why?” You asked, and your mother smiled at you.

“Well, isn’t that what everyone does after a breakup? Get their hair done, and you’ve been moping for a week. Go outside, go and see the colourful world out there,” your mother said, kissing your forehead.

You laughed but decided to take up your mother’s advice, and soon enough, you found yourself in a hair salon.

“So, how do you want your hair done?” The stylist asked as he started to towel dry your hair.

“I’m not entirely sure, but something that screams I’m doing good and happy.” The stylist smiled.

“A few highlights and waves?” He suggested, and you grinned. You relaxed into the chair as the stylist worked on your hair.

You smiled at your appearance in the mirror. You felt fresh. You still felt pain, but the new hair did do wonders. You’d never understand the logic, but it helped, only for a second, until a voice stopped you in the shopping mall.

“Y/N?” Your blood ran cold, and you’d recognise that voice anywhere.

“Yoona,” you muttered, turning around as you faced her.

“Did you change your hair? I like it. It looks lovely!” Yoona smiled.

“Can I help you, Yoona?” You asked, not having the energy to pretend to care.

“I heard you and Cheol broke up?” Yoona said, and you cringed at her use of his nickname.

“Why, are you waiting to dig your claws into him?” You snapped, and Yoona shook her head.

“Look, I have no defense for what I did to him, but I’ll say this: There is an idea that Seungcheol has in his mind. Even if I didn’t fit that mould, should I have cheated? No, but it wouldn’t have mattered because I would never be enough for him, and neither were you. He has a version of a woman in his mind, which doesn’t exist. You dodged a bullet, my Y/N,” Yoona narrated as she walked off, leaving you speechless.

It was on your walk that all the puzzle pieces fit together. Yoona wasn’t wrong—granted, an unreliable source—but her words weren’t exactly wrong. You bent over backward to appease Seungcheol, but nothing was enough, and if Yoona, his “ideal girl,” failed to meet his idea, then what was his ideal?

A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflected on him? Was that all he ever needed: someone to make him look better?

You smiled, turning back to see Yoona walk into another shop. Maybe she was right; it’d take a while to reconcile and face the trauma of dating Choi Seungcheol, but you knew it wasn’t you anymore. You could have been carved by the gods themselves, but unless that god were Seungcheol, you would never be enough for him, and somehow you were okay with that.

You just needed now to heal, mend old relationships, and find yourself again, but you were a soldier who came back from war half her weight. You needed to regain strength from this, heal, and become someone who had learned from this.

You could do it. You’d get older and wiser, while his lovers would be the same, wide-eyed and keen until he tore them to shreds when he realised they weren’t the one.

You could move on. You’d be fine.

The Healing: 2 Years Later

You were fussing over your speech for the fifth time that day.

“Girl, it’s fine, you’ve worked your ass off for this app. I can’t believe you got SNU to sponsor this. You’ve grown up!” Mia said dramatically, making you laugh.

You two were okay again; it took a lot of healing, but you two were okay because you didn’t hurt anymore.

You were at the launch of your newest app, a website for students and teachers to connect quickly.You wanted to pitch it to SNU, and they agreed.

You had finally finished your presentation when your eyes locked with his.

You flashed him a smile, and he returned one.It was like nothing you imagined at that moment. Nothing hurt anymore; he was a painful memory, but he was your past.

You would sometimes wonder if the love affair between the two of you maimed him the way it maimed you, but you also figured that you could live without getting that answer from him.

You’d be okay. You weren’t okay then, but you are okay now.

You were okay before you met him, and you’d be okay after him.

#seventeen fic #seungcheol fic #seventeen angst #seventeen smut #svthub #kvanity #all too well: c.s.c

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trickphotography2 · 5 months

Text

Santa's North Island Delivery Service

Stuck at work, Bradley is missing his daughter's first Christmas Eve. But when the squadron decides to turn the hanger into Santa's Workshop, the pilot is able to sneak away to spend a little time with his girls. (Inspired by a true story; Rooster x Reader Christmas fluff)

Word count: 2.4K

Ao3 | Masterlist

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Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw was officially having the worst Christmas Eve. Not only was he stuck at work doing absolutely nothing, he was missing his daughter’s first Christmas Eve.

With his boots kicked onto his desk, he leaned back in his chair and scrolled through the photos you’d sent him throughout the night. At eight months old, Bennett was too young to really know what was going on, but it didn’t make it suck any less. He wanted to see her lying under the tree, colored lights reflecting in her eyes. (He’d already set that picture as his home screen.)

“Hey, Lieutenant?” A knock on his door drew his attention, and he looked up to see Petty Officer Second Class Wagner, one of the head mechanics, standing there.

“Yeah?” Rooster said, sitting up. Even though he outranked the enlisted man, Wagner was one of the most respected non-commissioned officers in the squadron. To cheer up the men stuck working the night shift, he’d organized a movie night after doing a Christmas movie bracket throughout the week - National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation had barely edged out Die Hard.

“You got anything at home that needs to be assembled before going under the tree?”

“Huh?”

“Any gifts for the kiddo that need to be put together? We’re getting a list of stops together for the trucks.” Rooster gave him a confused look, which made the man chuckle. “We’re bored, so we figured we’d set up some presents for everyone’s kids in the hangar. The first group of guys are heading out now to get stuff, and then we’ll swap.”

“Oh, uh… yeah, I think there’s a couple things. Let me check with my girlfriend.” With a nod, Wagner left, leaving Rooster to stare at his phone. After a moment, he called you.

“Hey, babe,” you said, answering on the third ring. He could hear babbling in the background.

“Hey. Have you started getting things together to go under the tree?”

“Not yet. We’re just finishing up bath time, and then we’re gonna get cookies out for Santa and go to bed, aren’t we, Benny girl?”

“Any chance you can hold off for about an hour?” Bradley asked, unable to keep from smiling at the sound of his daughter giggling.

“Are you getting off work early?” It was hard to miss the sound of hope and excitement in your voice, and he hated to dash it.

“No, but I’m gonna run home and pick up some stuff.” You hummed.

“Okay. I’ll try and keep her up. I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Alright, love you.”

“Love you too.” Hanging up the call, Bradley dropped his head and tapped the phone against his forehead. It was only your second Christmas together and the first as parents, and he was already missing things. You’d assured him it was okay and that you understood that his job sometimes meant spending time apart, but he hated it.

“You’re a mean one, Benny Grinch,” you sang, gently bouncing your daughter as she howled. Letting your head fall back, you blew out a long breath. The crying fit couldn’t last forever.

Though overly tired, she was fighting against going to sleep. It was a nightly battle, but one that Bradley usually helped to fight. You’d learned early on that he had what you lovingly called the Sleeper Hold - the minute Benny was tucked into her father’s arms, her eyes would start to close. Shifting her onto your shoulder, you glanced at your watch and sighed. As much as you wanted to wait to finish the bedtime routine until Bradley got home, it was getting late. “Alright, sweetie,” you cooed, grabbing your water bottle and retreating to the nursery. “Let’s get settled in.”

With the white noise machine and night light on, you settled into the rocking chair and lifted your shirt. Benny rooted for a moment before latching onto your nipple, making you inhale sharply at the pinch. Digging your toes into the carpet, you gently rocked back and forth, holding your daughter’s gaze as she ate. “Merry Christmas, Bennett,” you whispered, stroking her cheek. Her eyes fluttered closed as she grunted. You closed your eyes, comforted by the warm weight of your daughter in your arms and the tugging at your breast.

“Hey.” The soft, raspy voice roused you from the trance you’d fallen into, and you lifted your head to see Bradley standing in the doorway.

“Hey,” you replied sleepily. His long legs ate up the space between you until he was beside you, leaning down to press his lips to your forehead. The familiar scratch of his mustache had your eyes fluttering closed again.

“She done?” Bradley asked, a large hand coming down to cup your daughter’s head.

“Should be soon.” At his touch, Benny startled from her doze, suckling hard and squirming.

“You need anything?”

“The sleeper hold in a minute to finish her off.” In the dim lighting, you saw Bradley grin before he leaned down again to brush his lips against yours.

“I can do that.” As if on cue, Bennett released your breast, her breath a soft pant against your tender skin. Without a word, Bradley took her and settled her on his shoulder, patting her back. “Hey, Benny, were you good for mommy tonight?” He paced the nursery as you reached for one of the breast pads and cleaned up. When a loud burp sounded, you heard him chuckle. “That’s my girl.”

You took a moment to appreciate the sight before you - your boyfriend in his tight khaki uniform cooing to your daughter as she rubbed her face into his shoulder to fight sleep. “How long do you have before you have to head back?”

“I’ve got about thirty minutes,” Bradley replied, turning on his heel to face you while pacing the room. “Benny girl, the sooner you go to sleep, the sooner Santa comes.”

“I’m not sure she’s old enough for that bribery to work yet.” His grin blinded as he kissed the back of her head, lightly bouncing her.

“Gonna be fun when she is. We’ll track him with NORAD and everything.” Shaking your head, you stood and kissed both of their cheeks.

“You get her down, and I’ll start pulling out the gifts.”

“Put aside anything that needs to be put together or wrapped, and I’ll take it to the hanger. Apparently, that’s what we’re gonna do for the rest of the shift.” With a mocking salute, you left the nursery to the sound of him humming a lullaby.

Ten minutes later, Bradley crept out of the nursery with the baby monitor in hand and joined you in grabbing the presents stashed around the house. The Daggers had dropped off their gifts throughout the week, and your family had mailed theirs. The craftsman that you’d helped Bradley purchase when he moved to North Island didn’t have the best hiding spots - it wasn’t exactly something he needed when you’d been his real estate agent - but with Benny so little, it was a problem for the future. “I think we may have overdone it,” you sighed, setting an unwrapped toy on the couch. The floor by the tree was already covered with wrapped presents.

“Nope, just enough,” Bradley chuckled, opening his arms. With a scoff, you stepped into his embrace, smiling as he swayed you. A dark spot decorated his shoulder, and you gently wiped away your daughter’s drool. “Gotta spoil my girls.”

“I really hope you kept to our budget for each other.” When he stayed silent, you pulled away and cocked an eyebrow. “Bradley Bradshaw, you stayed within the budget, right?”

“I stayed within our Christmas budget,” he answered, his hands gliding down your back to cup your ass as his mustache tickled your throat. “Love you, baby.”

“I love you too. Now, help me get all of this stuff under the tree. Did you want to do her stocking?”

There was a whoop, and Bradley turned to see three guys crouched on the hanger floor cheering as they played with a racetrack. Another corner had been designated as the bike assembly space, an array of tools spread on the ground. One of the card tables had been dragged out from the break room, and it was covered with popcorn and an assortment of cookies.

Unsure of where to go, Bradley walked towards a few other officers standing in the corner. “Hey, Rooster,” Captain “Taco” Bell said as he neared. “We were just talking about ordering pizza for everyone. Would you throw in?”

“Yeah. Does anyone know if there’s a system here, or does it just go wherever?”

“Wagner’s in charge,” Payback shrugged, nodding towards the NCO helping assemble a kitchen playset. “You got stuff for Benny?”

“Just a few things. Brought some of the smaller stuff to wrap, too.” The two men quickly went to the Bronco to unload the gifts. Setting them in a pile with a couple of rolls of wrapping paper, they quickly assembled the play sets. A few other guys drifted by, helping to slot the plastic pieces together or offering to help wrap. Boxes piled up on one end of the hanger, and a sign-up sheet for folks who had larger gifts at the house that needed to be assembled was passed around. It looked like at least six families were getting swingsets or trampolines. Bradley idly wondered about setting up a swing in the backyard in the summer. In the meantime, he assembled the small slide that would be perfect for the living room.

The pizza arrived around 10:00PM, and there was a quick break. As they sat around the hangar, the Santa letter exchange happened. Wagner supplied blank papers with a printed Christmas border, and the parents swapped letters for others to write the replies. “This saved my ass one year,” Wagner shared. “My middle daughter was starting to question Santa, and boom - different handwriting. Got her for at least another year.”

Around midnight, the squadron split into three sections - one to stay back and clean up the hanger, and two to deliver gifts and set up the presents. Bradley packed up his gifts and put them into the back of the Bronco. He was joined by three guys to set up a trampoline. Aided by headlamps, they were able to get it done in about an hour with only a few pinched fingers in the process, which was worth it to test it out.

A trampoline was added to the Christmas list when Benny was a bit older.

After touching base with Wagner, they headed to the second house to set up another trampoline before returning to the hangar. The third team left to assemble a swingset while they settled in to watch Die Hard for their last two hours on shift.

Tucked away in his office, Bradley set about wrapping his last present.

“Benny girl, look here!” you cooed, trying to get your daughter to look as you snapped pictures. Sitting in her father’s lap, she slapped the present in front of her and shrieked. Bradley laughed, quickly shifting his hold to wipe the drool from his wrist onto his sweatpants before retrieving his cup of coffee. Even with just two hours of sleep, he wasn’t willing to push back Christmas morning. After taking a sip, he set the mug down and took Benny’s hand, sliding it under the paper seam. Her hand flew up, ripping the paper.

“Good girl!” he chuckled, helping her tear the rest away to reveal stacking cups. It took about an hour to get through the presents, trading off the baby to get pictures.

A small stack of presents surrounded you as Bradley opened his new electric razor. “Thanks, baby,” he said, crawling across the living room floor to kiss you. With one hand on Benny’s stomach to keep her upright in your lap, you cupped his cheek and ran your thumb along his scars.

“You’re welcome, babe. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.” Pushing onto his feet, he quickly shoved the wrapping paper into the trash bag and ran a hand through his hair. “That looks like almost everything.”

“Unless Santa left something somewhere in the back of a closet, it looks like we got it all.”

“Hang on,” Bradley said, reaching around the back of the tree and retrieving a small box. “Looks like we missed one.” Holding it up, he glanced at the gift tag. “To Mommy, from Bennett.”

“What?” Grinning, he sat down across from you and offered you the box, holding out his arms for the baby. A quick glance confirmed it was Bradley’s handwriting on the tag. “What’d you get me, Benny?” you asked, smiling as your daughter laughed when her father tickled her. Lifting it to your ear, you shook it gently and heard it rattle. Tearing away the paper, you laughed at the kid’s jewelry box. The ballerina twirled when you opened it to reveal a bunch of plastic necklaces, rings, and bracelets. “Oooh, fancy! I know what I’m wearing today,” you laughed, quickly putting on a pair of clip-on earrings and a necklace.

“There’s a note,” Bradley said, leaning down to press his lips to Benny’s head. He looked a bit nervous.

And there was. Buried under the plastic was a folded-up piece of paper. Your mouth fell open when you read it.

I couldn’t get you jewelry this year, but Daddy could.

With wide eyes, you looked up to see Bradley grinning at you. “Open the drawer.”

Slowly, you pulled the handle to reveal a diamond ring. “Bradley?”

“Will you marry me?”

Later, when Bennett was asleep and the baby monitor was tossed onto the couch, Bradley watched the Christmas tree lights dance across your face as he took you apart slowly, savoring your taste. The ring sparkled on your finger when you pressed a hand to your mouth to muffle your moans as you shook apart under him, thighs bracketing his ears.

Kissing his way up your body, Bradley paused to suck on a tender nipple, groaning when your nails raked his scalp. The tree shook when he continued his ascent, knocking the lower branches as he tried to reach your lips. “Fuck.”

Laughing, you lifted your head to meet his gaze and wiped your thumb along his mustache, feeling your arousal coating the coarse hair. “Merry Christmas, Daddy.”

“Merry Christmas, Mama. Now get out from under the tree so I can unwrap my present in bed and fuck you properly.”

-------------------------------------------------------

Author's Note: This was inspired by my dad and his squadron when we were stationed in Japan. He had to work overnight Christmas Eve and they ended up making a run to everyone's house on base to pick up gifts that needed to be set up. I definitely believed in Santa for another year when I didn't recognize the handwriting on the letter the Christmas morning.

The jewelry box and note are also pulled from real life. Dad went remote for a year (he was over in Korea and we were stateside) to ensure that we got orders to Florida, and came back just in time for Christmas. My sisters and I got mom the fake jewelry (we were all in high school/college) while Dad got Mom a new necklace.

Thank you for reading my (late) self-indulgent Christmas fic! I hope you enjoyed it, and my first foray into writing Rooster. And a major thank you to @mamachasesmayhem for encouraging me to write this, even if she's just dipping her toes into Bradley and would have preferred it to be Jake 😂

#bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #top gun #top gun fanfiction #top gun x female reader #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #rooster fanfiction

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its-time-to-write · 7 months

Note

hi my lovely !!

i’m such a big fan of your jamie work and was wondering if you would consider writing about jamie using bantr ??

like she works at richmond and jamie had like a massive light bulb moment when he realised who he’s chatting to but also that he may be are falling in love

totally get if not on your radar !! x

Here you go!! I haven’t written a fic with Bantr yet, so this was fun!!

not saying you’re in love with me

Dating apps aren’t really your thing. But to be honest, are they anyone’s thing? Or are they like resumes, where everyone just pretends they’re easy and lies about their qualifications?

It doesn’t matter, because you’re on one anyway.

Keeley Jones (damn her) had hunted you down and practically begged you to sign up for Bantr.

“Look, you’re young, sweet, and mad fit. Can’t have a bunch of hot footballers in the app and no ladies!”

You had groaned as you put the chicken for today’s lunch in the oven. It’s not easy being Nelson Road’s on-campus chef. There are diet plans to follow, and a million hungry boys all the time.

It also means you can’t escape Keeley when you’re in the middle of prepping lunch. As soon as it’s served and cleaned up, you can go home. But for now, you’re at her mercy.

“Keeley, just because I’m the only twenty-something girl on staff here doesn’t mean that I want to date a footballer. Go bother Samantha. She’s what, thirty and goes on dates every weekend? She’s a perfect candidate.”

Keeley pouts. “I’ll set up your whole profile for you. You don’t even have to tell me if you’re talking to someone, just if you like it, yeah? I’ll help you with meals for a week.”

You point your tongs at her. “You will not even think about touching my food for the rest of eternity,” you warn.

“So you’ll do it, then?” Keeley asks, giving you the full puppy dog expression.

You consider for a moment. You’re single at the moment, and have been for a good long while. It wouldn’t hurt to be on Bantr and anyway, it’s not like anyone will know who you are.

“You’re sure it’s anonymous, then?” you ask.

Keeley jumps up and claps her hands with a squeal. “Totally! Oh my god, I’m so excited for you. I’ll set it up right now. Give me your phone.”

You point to your bag. “It’s in there. Passcode is-”

“Already know it,” Keeley interrupts. You’re not going to question how or why, you just nod and throw your gloves in the trash.

“Hairnet looks great on you, Keels,” you say conversationally.

“Fuck you,” she replies, not looking up from your phone. “And- done! You’re ready to start bantering. Ooh, there are a LOT of men nearby! Wonder how many of them are part of AFC Richmond?”

You shoot her a glare, but she just grins. “Put my phone away,” you tell her.

She slides it back into your bag. “Just promise me you’ll tell me if you like it. I’ll never ask for anything ever again,” she promises.

You roll your eyes with a laugh. “Sure thing.”

—

STRIKE09 has sent you a message

You grab your phone as soon as it lights up. Keeley’s going to be fucking thrilled that you’re enjoying Bantr this much, and that you’ve been chatting with someone for a week.

You open your phone to your chat.

STRIKE09: finally off work

STRIKE09: how’s ur day

STRIKE09: burn anything?

BAKERGURL22: that was a one time thing!!

BAKERGURL22: work was fine. got off early so I could try a new recipe at home

BAKERGURL22: hbu?

STRIKE09: not bad. lads stole all my lynx so im going to boots to get more

BAKERGURL22: u really know how to romance a girl

STRIKE09: ah shit yea should probably try harder to impress u

You chuckle. Whoever STRIKE09 is, he’s been impressing you from the first day. Always asking questions about you, but never too invasive. Flirty, but not over the top. You’d set your age range in 20s-30s, so you were relatively confident this wasn’t some old creep.

Your phone buzzes so you look down again.

STRIKE09: what did u make today?

BAKERGURL22: lemon cupcakes. not very healthy but super delicious

BAKERGURL22: I have to cook all this healthy stuff at work and sometimes I want to unwind and bake something with too much sugar ya know?

STRIKE09: bet theyre mint

BAKERGURL22: no they’re lemon

STRIKE09: oi, we got a comedian

BAKERGURL22: look, I had to make plain chicken and a salad with fucking olive oil as a dressing today

BAKERGURL22: it was so gross. I apologized 2 the staff but like, it’s what they all requested

BAKERGURL22: worried im gonna be banned from cooking ever again

Across Richmond, Jamie Tartt nearly drops his phone in Boots. He knows exactly who the girl on the other end of this conversation is. The question is, do you know who he is?

He’d assume no, based on the way you’ve been cagey about work. Not private enough though, because he remembers you making a face earlier that afternoon as you said, “Sorry this lunch is such shit, but I guess you all probably don’t care. I swear I’m a better cook than this.”

Jamie had smiled and kept moving, but he’d been thinking about your scrunched nose all day and the sweet way you said sorry.

What are the odds that he matched with someone who worked in the same building as him?

Apparently pretty high.

Jamie’s not really present the entire time it takes him to check out. He’s grateful that the combination of his hoodie plus the tired teen checking him out means he doesn’t have to talk to anyone.

He kicks off his shoes and flops onto the couch as soon as he gets home, trying to figure out what to say. Should he say anything? What if he does and you decide you don’t like him?

He shrugs it off and puts his phone away for the night.

—

You frown at your phone for the hundredth time this morning.

“What’s got your knickers in a twist?” Keeley asks from her position at the coffee pot.

“Haven’t heard back from my Bantr match. It’s really strange. We were talking last night and then he just stopped responding. He at least sends me a good morning message, but I haven’t even gotten that.”

Keeley gives you a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry, babes. Ghosting is an epidemic. Have you looked at any of your other matches?”

You shake your head and say, “Nah, I wasn’t really interested in them. I really fucking liked this guy. He was sweet, funny, and so good at flirting. I dunno, maybe it’s easier to be like that because it’s all through a screen, but it felt like we had an actual connection.”

“Well, you don’t have to message anyone else if you don’t want to. You can delete the app altogether.”

You say, “Thanks, Keels,” then go back to chopping vegetables. One bright spot of the day is that lunch will be less shitty than yesterday.

You slide the vegetables in the salad just in time. You hear the familiar rumble of AFC Richmond coming in from the field so you plaster a smile on your face and get ready to pass them their lunch.

—

The rest of the afternoon slides by in a haze. You put an earbud in as you wash the dishes, say goodbye to the office staff, then head out the front door to your car. Someone calls your name and you jump. “Jesus, Jamie.” You turn around to see him push himself off the wall by the door. It looks like he’s been waiting there.

“Sorry,” he says sheepishly. “You headin’ home?”

You say, “Yeah, I only work for part of the day. What are you doing out here?”

Jamie wraps his hands in the front of his shirt and considers what he’s going to say. He’s been thinking about it all morning, and he’s still not sure what the right approach is.

“Look,” he begins hesitantly, “y’know how Keeley’s promoting Bantr?”

“Yeah,” you say.

“I been chatting up this girl, like, and she- I dunno, I really like her. I was thinking we could meet in person but I don’t know if she’ll… fucking… want to.”

Christ, he’s stumbling over his words like a goddamn fool.

You raise an eyebrow and say, “Okay..? Are you looking for advice?”

You’re beyond confused right now. This is the longest Jamie has ever talked to you, and certainly the most awkward he’s ever been. Usually he takes his food with a wink and a “Thank, love.” Sometimes he’ll even through in a compliment.

Jamie untucks his hands just to shove them in his pockets. Fuck it.

“I know it’s you,” he says bluntly. You open your mouth to say something, but he keeps talking. “Figured it out last night when we were talking. You made lemon cupcakes yesterday, yeah? You hated lunch yesterday and said sorry for it like a million fucking times. My username is fucking stupid, just my position and number.”

He stops, unsure where to go from here. Meanwhile, your brain is whirring a mile a minute.

“You’re Strike09,” you say slowly. Jamie nods and you slap your forehead. “Oh god, I was flirting with you! Shit, this is so fucking awkward. I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t have done it if I knew who you were.”

“No, that’s the thing.” Jamie takes a few steps, closing the distance between you. “Don’t think we would’ve done it if we fuckin’ knew each other. But we did. And we like each other.”

Your head is still in your hand. This is too much. You’re conscious of the fact that you’re still in your hairnet.

You look at him just long enough to ask, “So what’s your point?”

“We should give it a go.”

You snort. “Yeah, right. What’s your actual point?”

Jamie looks at you incredulously as he says, “That is my actual fucking point! I like talking to you! I think you’re fit! I know I’m fit and you like talking to me. I sneaked out of training to talk to you. Told Roy I weren’t feeling well, and he’s gonna send someone to check on me soon so if you have a real reason why we can’t try dating, I want to hear it.”

“I don’t,” you admit. “It’s just a lot to process.”

Jamie nods. “Yeah, alright, yeah, sure. Let me know. Um, I have to get back before someone finds me. I’ll see you around.”

“See ya,” you halfheartedly reply.

You think about Jamie the entire way home. You head straight to the kitchen and mechanically begin pulling out baking supplies. Cooking is fun, but it’s also your job. Baking is how you unwind. You’re halfway through an orange tart when you realize what you’re making.

“Damn it!” you cry. Fucking Jamie. You smack down your spatula and grab your phone to text Keeley with a request. She responds almost instantly with Jamie’s phone number.

He picks up on the second ring.

“You rejecting me over the phone now?” he quips.

“How’d you know it was me?” you ask.

“Keeley,” he replies, and you can’t stop a smile from spreading across your face.

“Same,” you say. “I wanted to tell you that I thought about it, and I want to go out with you. I don’t know when you’re free, but I’m around after 3pm pretty much every night. God, that sounds super lame.”

Jamie laughs. “So if you sent me your address, I could be at yours in…”

“Fifteen minutes,” you supply.

“Set a timer, babe,” Jamie says. “Bet I can make it in ten.”

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

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imsadstuff · 2 years

Text

50 days to fall in love - A Jeon Jungkook fic

Synopsis: A New Variety Show, 50 days to fall in love reality show follows different couples around for 50 days. The six couples are set up with eachother based on a scientific compatibility test, the test assumes that 50 days is the perfect time to fall in love with someone. Let’s watch as these young people navigate through life and love. Word Count: 12k+ Pairing: Jeon Jungkook and reader Genre: fluff (tooth-rotting fluff), some very light angst and slice of life Authors note: I've been obsessed with Asian dating shows, so I wrote a fic about them because that's the way my brain works. please don't be a ghost reader!

Episode 1

“Hello, I’m Jeon Jungkook” Jungkook greets the camera cheerfully taking a seat.

“Can you briefly introduce yourself?” the interviewer asks and Jungkook companies sitting straight in his seat.

“I’m Jeon Jungkook, 27 years old. Many of you may remember me as a child actor in multiple movies and tv shows. I don’t act as much anymore, I set up a production house with my friend so I’m more of a director now” Jungkook says looking off-camera.

“What about hobbies?” “I have a bunch of them, I do boxing, I’ve been very into motorbikes lately, videography used to be a hobby, now it’s my job, also food, I love food,” Jungkook says with all seriousness making even the production crew laugh.

“What would you describe as your ideal type?” Jungkook thinks for a good few minutes before answering this.

“Someone considerate and worth sharing my life with, I like someone who’s passionate about something, it doesn’t have to be work but I relate better with people who have this fire within them. I like the tsundere type, to be honest, someone who’s cold to others but warm with me” the last part makes Jungkook giggles at the last part.

“This is the compatibility test, 102 range-based questions, please answer them diligently” Jungkook’s a little too shocked when he’s handed the booklet. “102 questions? Can I get a 100% match?” he asks curiously going through the questions.

“Hello I’m ___” you say to the camera sitting down.

“Can you introduce yourself a little bit?” “Sure, I’m ___, 26 years old. I recently moved back to Seoul to be closer to my family.” you smile a little as you say that.

“I moved to New York for university when I was 18 and left New York at 25 as a Stock Analyst. I currently run a hedge fund with my father, my job is pretty much what defines me right now” you confess a little mortified about it.

“What about hobbies?” “I've been trying to cultivate new hobbies, I play tennis like once a month, I’ve been doing pottery for a few years now, I’m pretty good at it and, um, I collect expensive whiskey” you laugh as you say the last part.

“What kind of men do you date?” this question is a thinker, “I’d say boring” this honest answer makes the producer laugh too much. “It’s not really a negative thing, I’ve dated men from my industry and people in finance can be very boring. All the blame doesn’t have to be on them because I’m pretty boring too, in the past I’ve never really put effort into my relationships because work has been my only focus” you answer confidently sitting straight in the chair.

“Are you ready to put effort into your romantic relationships?” “Yes, it’s not that I have a problem being by myself, but it would be nice to have someone who helps you get through the day. Plus, I’m kinda the boss right now, so my workload is much more relaxed” the last part makes you laugh a little too much.

Your hands are a little clammy as you walk up to the restaurant, first dates are nerve-wracking enough, a first date with cameras just makes you more nervous. Jungkook arrived ten minutes before you, he can see you walking up to the table from the corner of his eye. Rubbing his hands against his jeans one last time, he stands up and greets you politely.

“Did I keep you waiting?” you ask the very handsome man in front of you. “No, I arrived early, my father says on time is late,” Jungkook says nervously sipping on his water.

“I like punctual guys,” you say and Jungkook smiles widely, feeling much better about this.

“Good for us I guess,” he says reading the menu to distract himself. “Do you drink? This place makes amazing cocktails” Jungkook says trying to get a read on you.

“Of course, I drink, I think I’m going to get an old-fashioned, there are very few places in Seoul that do a good old-fashioned” you can’t stop your nervous rambling at all.

“You must’ve lived abroad,” Jungkook asks closing the menu, he knew what he was going to order even before he got here.

“Oh yeah, shit, we didn’t really introduce ourselves,” you say and Jungkook can’t help but giggle at your nervousness.

“I’m ___, 26, I work in finance,” you say more interested in hearing what he has to say.

“I’m Jeon Jungkook, 27, and I’m a director” Jungkook’s waiting for you to recognize him but that hasn’t happened yet.

“A director, that sounds interesting, what kind of projects do you work on?” you ask seeing the server approach the table.

“I’ll have an old-fashioned with Ribeye, medium rare with a side salad, can we do french fries for the table?” you ask looking up at Jungkook and he takes a second to shake his head yes. Jungkook isn’t as confident as you were while ordering his food, he’s still awed by it.

“Are you okay with walking, those heels seem kinda high?” Jungkook asks a little too concerned as you walk out of the steak house with him.

“Just make sure I don’t trip and hurt myself” you joke, feeling much more confident around him.

“Aye Aye captain” he jokes along too as you both walk down the pavement, walking towards the Han river.

“I was supposed to go to NYU too but couldn’t because of a project” Jungkook shares following up on your question about college earlier.

“That’s too bad, college degrees are going to be obsolete anyway,” you say honestly and Jungkook does the same thing he's been doing all night, looking away from you for a second with the biggest smile on his face.

“I haven’t been on a blind date in years” you confess stumbling a little and he catches you right away, his hand lingering around your waist for just a second.

“This is my first blind date,” he says and you turn to face him, shocked and outraged.

“With the way you look and how charming you are?” you say standing still and he does so too, with the river beside you.

“Good to know you think I’m hot and charming, but a blind date just never happened for me” “Glad to be your first,” you ask turning around and walking ahead of him again.

It’s around 2 am when the cab stops outside your apartment complex. Jungkook was supposed to be tired by now, but he was somehow more excited.

“So, will I be seeing you again?” you ask him as he leans on the cab. “Will I be seeing you again?” Jungkook turns the question around on you and you nod confidently.

“I’ll need your number then” he had been thinking about a moment to ask for your number all night, and now was perfect than ever.

“What should we do next? Definitely, something that doesn’t require you to wear heels” Jungkook helps you from stumbling over again, his hand feels hot even though he’s not touching you.

“It’s not me, it’s these messed up pavements, I can run in these” you defend yourself pushing some of your hair away.

“How about rock, paper and scissors to decide what we do next?” you suggest and Jungkook has to restrain himself, you’re perfect, a little too perfect for him. He loses immediately pulling a paper while you pull a scissor.

Comments:

Lola: Jeon Jungkook in a dating show might heal the world

SaggitariusQween: Jungkook’s already fallen in love, he doesn’t need the 30 days

Zzzzz: Get in line Jungkook, I too have a crush on ___

Yesto: their chemistry is off the charts

Episode 2

“What? Are you doing this show for real?” Namjoon asks Jungkook noticing all the cameras in his apartment.

“Of course I am, I can’t keep third-wheeling Aera and you for the rest of my life,” Jungkook says applying some moisturizer on his face.

“Which date is this? What’s she like?” Namjoon asks sipping on his coffee and lounging on the sofa.

“Second and she’s so cool, she’s outgoing and funny and just so confident,” Jungkook says walking into the living room while applying some lip balm.

“The strangest part of the date was she didn’t recognise me, or she did and she was too polite to mention that,” Jungkook says going through the stack of paperwork Namjoon brought.

“Isn’t that kinda great tho, she isn’t interested in you because you’re Jeon Jungkook, she’s interested in you just because”

Namjoon's words are ringing in his head as he drives to the location you texted him, it’s a pottery studio. Jungkook opens the door with his hip while holding onto the coffee he picked up on his way.

He catches you inspecting a plate when he startles you with a gentle tap on your shoulder. “Good morning!” you greet him excitedly forgetting about the ceramic plate.

“Morning, I got us coffee, did you have something to eat?” he asks handing you your warm latte, he remembered your coffee order.

“I did have a granola bar on my way here, you want one?” you ask getting a bar from your handbag and Jungkook chuckles taking it happily.

“It is frustrating how bad I am at this” Jungkook whines for the millionth time struggling with clay.

“You need to be gentle Jungkook” “I am being gentle ___” “No you aren’t, take a deep breath, be softer,” you say as your hands come around him and he immediately goes gentle.

A glass-like structure forms around within seconds and Jungkook looks up at you while you’re laser-focused on the pottery.

“How are you so good at this?” Jungkook asks as you’re both washing your hands,

“My mom taught me, she used to make handmade pottery” you say as Jungkook wipes his hand.

“You’re amazing at it, can we switch the stuff we made because I really want this bowl-plate thing you made,” he says handing you a fresh napkin.

“Sure, what colour do you want it to be,” you ask wiping the streaks of clay off your arms.

“What colour do you like” Jungkook asks getting another towel.

“A sage green, might look cute, might look like shit,” you say and Jungkook points to something on your face.

“Is it clay?” you ask still missing a spot. Jungkook reaches for your cheek, swiping the mark away, a simple touch sending shock waves through your body.

“So, after our first date like any normal person, I looked you up on Instagram,” you say and Jungkook sits up straight, sensing what’s coming.

“And I knew your name was familiar but I hadn’t joined the dots yet, why didn’t you tell me that you’re super famous,” you say looking up at Jungkook sitting across from you.

“It didn’t come up naturally, and I really didn’t want to rub you the wrong way by bringing it up” he answers cautiously fishing for the perfect piece of fried chicken.

“Is it a deal breaker?” he asks peaking a look at your face and to his surprise, you mouth a no.

“I was surprised in a good way, I’ve only dated guys whose jobs are similar to mine, that leads to similar lifestyles and hobbies, and two similar people dating are like two trains headed straight towards eachother, it is going to be a catastrophe” you take a beat to look at him and he has a neutral look on his face.

“We’ve led very different lives and we can learn from eachother, our lifestyles are very different so it will push each of us out of our comfort zone a few times, but it’s nice, it’ll keep us active. What do you think?” you turn the question around on him, laughing to help with the awkwardness.

“I completely agree with the similar people being a trainwreck waiting to happen, but the life philosophies and principles do need to coincide to have a long and healthy relationship,” Jungkook says as you both completely abandon the lunch.

“I was a little worried about you not being into me and my job,” Jungkook says about what he’s been thinking about since the first date.

“You’re so smart and confident, you know what you want and don’t want and I was worried I was in the don’t want column,” Jungkook says sipping on his coke and you look at him with the biggest smile ever.

“It’s shocking how good you can read me and if you were in the don’t want column, I wouldn’t be here”

“What do you have planned for the rest of the day?” you ask Jungkook as you’re walking to his car.

“I am meeting up with my tattoo artist to finish off a piece and then I have to go glass shopping,” Jungkook says adjusting his shirt.

“Glass like a prescription?” “Yeah my doctor wants me to wear glasses instead of lenses for a while, what do you have planned today” Jungkook knows you don’t work on Saturdays,

“nothing, might pick up some candy on my way back and watch a documentary” these plan don’t sound that bad to you, this is what you do on most your weekends.

“Wanna join me?” you agree immediately and the production sends off you with vlog cameras. Jungkook seems familiar with the tattoo parlour like he’s spent hours here.

“Do you have a tattoo?” Jungkook asks removing his shirt and revealing an arm full of tattoos, also a very lean torso.

“I do, but my parents don’t know” you whisper this, feeling the camera Jungkook mounted a few centimetres away.

“Where?” he whispers back with a sly smile. “Upper thigh” you whisper leaning closer to him.

“Oh” he shies away immediately looking away. “Do you want to get any more?” he asks as the tattoo artist starts with the tattoo.

“Maybe, I’m a little indecisive about the design and I feel like I’m going to regret them, do you regret any of these?” you ask taking a seat by him.

“Yes, but I’ve gaslit myself into believing they aren’t” Jungkook confesses with a giggle.

“My eyebrow piercing did hurt, my lip one not so much” Jungkook tells trying to comfort you.

“Why did you remove them?” you ask as the person marks a point on your nose. On a whim, you’ve decided to get a nose piercing because why not.

“For a movie, I was bored of them anyway” Jungkook says as you wince seeing the pin ready.

“I’m just going to pierce it, might hurt like a prick but it’s only going to last a few seconds,” the technician tells you and you feel your heart sink, your pain tolerance is bad.

“It’s going to be fine, you don’t have to go through this” Jungkook says in order to reassure you.

“No, I should have bigger fears in life than needles hurting me,” you say clutching onto Jungkook’s hand tight as the technician pierces you. Jungkook can feel how much it hurt you because of the way you’re holding onto him.

Jungkook can’t take his eyes off you as he’s driving you back, “What?” you ask and he looks away smiling.

“You look hot” it just slips out, Jungkook doesn’t feel as embarrassed about it.

“I wasn’t hot before the piercing?” you tease and Jungkook gets defensive immediately.

“No, um, that’s not what-” “I’m messing with you,” you say laughing and patting his arm as he stops outside your apartment complex. Jungkook’s quiet as he opens the car door for you, he leaves all the cameras in the car but forgets that you both have your mic packs on you.

“I had so much fun today,” he tells you, leaning against his car. “I did too,” you say pushing some of his long hair away from his face. The both of you are barely recorded by the camera still rolling in Jungkook’s car. The camera almost doesn’t catch how close the two of you are standing.

“Let’s have many fun days like today” you suggest looking at him. The camera doesn’t catch Jungkook holding onto your hand, grazing your hand with his thumb.

Comments:

Lola: I was hoping for a ghost moment and got it

SaggitariusQween: we support people maturely talking about what kind of relationships they want

Zzzzz: I agree Jungkook, ___ is hot

Yesto: the sexual tension is off the charts

Episode 3

“I just touched down in Incheon, I’m going to get a cab and sleep for a few hours” you talk to Jungkook over the phone, dragging your luggage.

“Alright, don’t get a cab, I’m waiting for you at arrivals” it’s hard not to spot Jungkook with a team of cameramen around him.

“I thought you were joking, I can’t believe you actually came” you skip a little as you walk closer to him still on call.

“I haven’t seen you all week, I was starting to forget you” Jungkook catches you off guard with the hug, but you lean on him for just a little while.

“I was just in and out of meetings for four days, I’m so sleep-deprived I’m starting to shake,” you tell Jungkook buckling in the car.

“Just sleep a little, your place is an hour and a half away” he didn’t drive to the airport either, he came here straight from set.

“No, I want to catch up with you. What did you do all week” you say as the driver changes lanes.

“I’ve been on set all week, the movie is in the last week of shooting” Jungkook’s a little sleepy himself, it’s 4 am, he’s supposed to be asleep right now.

Jungkook knocked himself out before you, you turn off the lights as gently as you can. Hoping the camera doesn’t catch you blushing like an idiot seeing him asleep. Somewhere along the way, after minutes of swinging and stirring awake in the car, you lean on him for the support, but also the warmth.

Jungkook gives up after a few attempts to wake you up are futile. Removing his seat belt, he brings his arm around you and you get comfortable immediately, this new warmth is also what stirs you awake.

“You stayed up to come to pick me up and I immediately fell asleep,” you say moving a little away from him while his arm stays put.

“Don’t worry about it, I feel much better knowing you got some rest” Jungkook says yawning behind his hand.

“What are we doing later today?” you say bending down to get some water, Jungkook is about to move his arm when you lean back like before.

“Bowling and wine bar, are you tired, do you want me to change the plans?” he asks and you mumble a no, falling asleep again.

“No, I just need five hours of sleep and coffee” “Have a big lunch or you’re going to be shaking because of coffee again,” Jungkook says with a smile, recalling a text from you.

“Yes, what time is it?” you ask reaching for his hand, his hands feel a little heavy, maybe you’re just too tired. “I’ll see you in 12 hours”

Jungkook’s body still feels a little sore as he’s walking up to the bowling alley, he feels a lot less tired as he sees you shaking your head to the music.

“I thought about making bowling a little more fun, we make a bet,” you tell Jungkook the minute he sits down.

“Bet, sounds fun, do you have something on your mind” “I do actually, whoever wins gets to design a tattoo for the loser,” you say and Jungkook perks up all excited.

“___, let me remind you, getting a tattoo removed is very expensive and painful,” Jungkook says arrogantly as he picks up a ball. “Jungkook, let me remind you, I am very bad at drawing,” you say throwing the ball and the ball completely misses.

You eventually do end up catching up with Jungkook, barely because this is the last round and Jungkook is leading by 8 points.

“___ last chance for you to recall the bet and let me win” what you’ve realised today is just how competitive Jungkook is, it’s kinda hot.

“I’d rather watch you lose,” you tell him and he throws the ball, backing away in anticipation he jumps and shouts scoring a perfect strike.

“So, do I get to decide on the placement and size too?” Jungkook doesn’t feel tired at all right now, as he drapes an arm around your shoulder.

“I don’t like you a lot right now” “Does that mean you liked me a lot more before this” “That’s not what I said” you’re a little huffy as you pick up your handbag but Jungkook takes it from your hands immediately.

“That’s what I’m choosing to interpret ___” he teases you a lot more as you walk to the wine bar, you don’t mind it, you like it, you feel the walls coming down.

Jungkook doesn’t want to look at your phone as it lights up with notifications, but he can’t help but sneak a look when he sees a strange notification.

“Why are you on tinder?” he asks more with fascination and you look at him embarrassed.

“I forgot to delete my account” you are a little clumsy picking up your phone but he stops you with a gentle pat on your hand. "You don’t have to” “No but I want to” you open the app to the hottest man’s profile right there.

“Wow he’s hot, I’d swipe right on him” Jungkook says scooting closer beside you.

“I wouldn’t, first his bio says here to make friends and the glasses don’t pass the vibe check,” you say and Jungkook looks at you horrified.

“Explain the glasses and vibe check thing ___” Jungkook says very seriously,

“A lot of serial killers wear these glasses, and I’ve seen a lot of crime documentaries, so it’s a no for me,” you say swiping right and another profile appears.

“Thank god he doesn’t have glasses,” Jungkook says sarcastically taking a big swig from his wine glass.

“Yes, he is actually kinda hot, a picture at the library, a picture with a dog, his hobbies include pottery, same as mine, I’d swipe right,” you say teasing him and Jungkook scowls turning off your phone for you.

“Good thing you don’t need to” you snicker as Jungkook avoids your eyes, red with a tinge of jealousy and wine.

“Dogs are cute but you know what’s cuter?” Jungkook asks you, very clearly a little intoxicated.

“You?” you state dumbfoundedly, not as drunk as Jungkook. “You think I’m cute?” he asks struggling with the seatbelt, you nod helping him with it.

“Puppies are even cuter ___ and I’m picking one up from the shelter next week,” he says flopping his head back and hitting it.

“You’re a clumsy drunk,” you say placing his head on your shoulders. “I’m going to spoil that dog so much, we’re going to go on hikes, I’m going to be a fit dad” Jungkook rambles on, getting comfortable on your shoulder.

“Would you join me and my son for a hike ___?” Jungkook asks lifting his head up, but it immediately flops down.

“As I said on our first date, I’d rather die than go on a hike,” you say and Jungkook whines, very cutely.

“What if I asked cutely, will that change your mind about hikes?” you turn your face a little and realise just how close Jungkook’s lips are to yours.

“Maybe, but in return, I’d want you to help me move” “You’re moving?” Jungkook perks up again, hitting his head much harder again.

“Yes, but I want you to stop moving so that you don’t hurt yourself,” you say and Jungkook snuggles just a bit closer.

“So, when am I meeting your boyfriend?” Hara asks chewing on a slice of pizza. You’d known Hara for over a decade now, she was the closest thing you had to a sister, other than your sister.

“Jungkook’s not my boyfriend, we’ve only been on three dates,” you say picking out mushrooms from your slice of pizza.

“Three dates, how is the sex,” Hara asks in a teasing tone and you swat her arm, feeling a little conscious of all the cameras in your apartment.

“We haven’t had sex yet, we haven’t even kissed” you confess with a small voice, looking at the floor all embarrassed.

“Dating in Korea is very different than in the states, I’ve definitely kissed guys after the first date” you saw chewing on pizza while also packing up some stuff.

“Just kiss him if you want to, you don’t have to overthink it so much” Hara gets right to the point, that’s her style.

“You have so much fancy lingerie” Hara shouts from your closet.

“This is fancy stuff, how much did you spend on this?” she asks looking you dead in the eyes.

“I bought these my first year working, I’d just gotten a massive Christmas bonus and my boyfriend had dumped me, I wanted to buy “something for myself”, I’ve never actually worn them”

“Try 'em for me!” Hara doesn’t let you get in a word till you’re hiding in your bathroom, slipping into a babydoll sleeping set.

“It’s so sexy, sure uncomfortable to sleep in but sexy” Hara says as you peek open the door ever so slightly, making sure none of this is in the camera frame.

“Wear this and you’ll have Jungkook kissing you all over” Hara teases you and you take a moment to look at yourself in the mirror, it had been a while since you’d felt sexy.

It was around 1 am when Jungkook called you, by this time Hara and you had stuffed yourself of pizza and soju, she was already knocked out in your bed.

“Why are you still awake?” Jungkook’s surprised that you picked up his call, you’re knocked out by now.

“Hara came over and we just talked about a lot of stuff and I couldn’t fall asleep” your voice booms in Jungkook’s car as he parks his car.

“Is everything alright?” “Yes, everything is more than fine, are you home?” “No, I’m downstairs” it doesn’t take you too long to spot Jungkook’s car, he always parks at the same place.

“Are cameras rolling in your car?” you whisper to Jungkook as he rolls down the car window.

“Yes” “Are you wearing a mic?” Jungkook finds your questions adorable as he says no. Jungkook gets out of the car and you’re sure none of you is on camera, you forgot about the camera in the backseat.

“Why are you so jumpy today?” Jungkook asks you and you rope your arms around him, coming on tiptoes to come face to face with him.

“I don’t know what the rules of dating are in Korea, and I really don’t want to scare you away because I really like you,” you say truthfully and Jungkook snakes his arms around your waist, you’re stumbling already.

“Rules about what?” he asks and you’re starting to regret bringing this up.

“About what the acceptable pace for a relationship is, about kissing, about sex” Jungkook wasn’t expecting this, it takes him a second to come up with an answer.

“___, um, you don’t have to worry about these rules, you just have to ask me and if we’re on the same page, then, um, we’ll go forward with it,” he says chuckling nervously and you lean even closer.

“Alright, um, cool-” you stop speaking when he pulls you even closer, his face centimetres away from yours. Jungkook feels oddly confident knowing you’re both on the same page, and he doesn’t let him think himself out of kissing you. He picks you up a little as you kiss him intensely, smiling against his lips.

Comments:

Lola:OH MY GOD!!!!!!! THEY KISSED

SaggitariusQween: god, when is it my turn to be happy

Zzzzz: them trash talking to eachother is cute but you know what’s even cuter, THEM KISSING EACHOTHER

Yesto: I don’t know if I want to be Jungkook or ___

Ester: their chemistry is seriously something else

Wallu: here because I saw a clip of the show on Twitter and now I’m HOOKED

Episode 4:

Your morning is not off to the greatest start. First, it was moving day, you hate moving. Second, your dad showed up, bright and early, because a dad can always help with moving, his words not yours. Thirdly, your mom showed up, because she wanted to spend quality time. Fourthly, Jungkook was on his way and wasn’t picking up your calls.

To summarise, your divorced parents do not get along are over at your apartment and, Jungkook’s going to meet them like this for the first time.

The bell rings and you rush to open the door before your mother can, “Good morning!” Jungkook’s a little too cheerful as he pulls you by the waist, ready to plaster a big kiss when you move your head away.

“My parents showed up because why not, they’ve already fought twice about things that went wrong on their wedding day, it’s kinda intense and I want you to-”

“___, are you not going to introduce us to your new friend” your mother surprises you, Jungkook still holding onto you, till he process and drops his arm around you immediately.

“Hello,” Jungkook says politely bowing a complete ninety degrees and your fathers yells in the background about how your mother had packed something wrong. Jungkook was not ready to meet the parents, but he was more unsettled by how anxious you looked.

“Dad, I really don’t think there’s a correct way to stack boxes” you’re trying really hard not to snap at anybody right now.

“Hey, how about you and your mother drive up to the apartment with the small stuff and your father and I’ll ride there with the truck” Jungkook suggest handing you his car keys.

“You don’t need to do that, he will ask you some questions you won’t want to answer” you whisper to him but Jungkook hands you his handbag and a few other stuff. “I’ll be fine”

Jungkook wasn’t fine, he was very close to shitting his pants. Your father is a tall, quiet man, Jungkook wants him to like him so much but at the same time, he’s terrified of him.

“You look young, how does one become a director this early?” your father asks Jungkook who’s sandwiched between the driver and your father.

“Well, I’ve been working in the industry since I was 12, so I had a lot of connections in the industry,” Jungkook says and the driver gasps recognizing him.

“Oh my god, you’re the kid from Memories” the driver lights up with excitement.

“___ works hard, she not going to give up her career for marriage or kids” this question takes Jungkook by surprise.

“We haven’t discussed this, but I’m not expecting her to” “Most men don’t feel confident about ___’s success, are you intimidated by her success” Jungkook’s starting to realise what you didn’t want him to spend one on one time with your father.

“I feel intimidated by ___, not because of her career or success but because she’s confident and I’m not” Jungkook hadn’t really vocalized his feeling about you to anyone yet, it’s insane to think that he’s talking to your father about it.

“Are you confident about ___?” it is too early for Jungkook to know that, it’s barely been a month since your first date. That’s been his issue in the past, not being able to match his partner's pace and keeping them waiting till he figures out his feeling.

“Mom, I need you to stop bothering dad and just let him build this dresser, don’t you have pilates right now” it’s been a long day of mediating between your parents, and you feel guilty for wanting them out of your house.

“And did you don’t need to help me with this stuff, I can do it, Jungkook will help me with it” “___ don’t build furniture with a man, it means that you’ll share it with him someday” your mother interjects and Jungkook quietly listens to it all as he arranges your kitchen.

“What is so wrong with it mom, Jungkook’s a kind guy I don’t mind the thought of sharing furniture with him,” you say with defeat,

“___ he’s famous, famous people are shallow, he’s too handsome, handsome guys cheat,” she says looking straight at your father.

“It’s been fifteen years, when will you get over it” your father sighs putting away his tools.

“You both are very difficult to love” you mutter to yourself, walking out of your room and watching Jungkook diligently wipe your crockery, you don’t deserve him.

“Just go home, today has been a disaster,” you tell Jungkook taking the napkin from his hands.

“So, I was thinking because pizza for dinner, are your parents, going to stay,” Jungkook says scrolling on his phone and you tug on his arm to get his attention.

“Why are you still here? Aren’t you uncomfortable?” you ask and Jungkook cracks a smile before answering you.

“I am ___, it’s way too early to meet parents but I don’t care because I like you,” Jungkook says earnestly and you look at him awed. You were expecting him to ghost you after today,

“You do?” you ask coming between him and the counter. “I do, do you?” Jungkook asks you, very nervous about your answer. “I do like you,” you say looking Jungkook right in the eyes, you feel sure about this. “You do?” Jungkook asks you again, you peck his lips softly before answering him. “I do and so do you” Jungkook has stars in his eyes when you pull back, “I do,” he says kissing you again.

“You guys getting married or something, what’s with the I do’s?” the magical moment is broken by your mother and Jungkook doesn’t push you away this time.

“I haven’t been in front of the camera in a while, I mean I have for the show, but not for photoshoots,” Jungkook says anxiously as they’re setting up for another set of pictures.

Jungkook’s being featured by Forbes for being an entrepreneur thirty under thirty. He didn’t expect his production company to take off, he expected it to be a blip in his career before he gave up and went back to acting.

But one of the films he directed is up for a few oscar awards and he can’t believe it. “Have you been liking filming the show?” the interviewer asks him between shots.

“It’s definitely pushing my comfort zone, but it’s been fun so far,” he says as the stylist sets his hair before the last few shots.

“So, I just texted him asking him his plans and true Jungkook fashion, he hasn’t checked my texts yet,” you tell the cameraman finding Jungkook’s green room.

“Is he bad at replying to texts?” the cameraman asks and you nod furiously.

“It’s because his phone is on silent when he’s on set, he usually calls and gives me individual answers to all my texts” you’re a little giddy talking about him. The cameramen leave the camera’s behind as they’re notified that Jungkook’s arriving soon. You’re all by yourself, thinking and rethinking the last month.

“___?” Jungkook’s a little confused by the dim lights and candles in the room.

“I wanted to surprise you before you left for Japan, you have to leave in four hours right?” you ask standing up and checking your watch.

“Yes, DID YOU CUT YOUR HAIR?” you shout frightening him a little.

“Yes, I wanted to look presentable for the photo shoot,” he says as you run your fingers through his hair.

“It was presentable before, you looked so romantic” Jungkook can’t help but notice how pouty you are about the hair change.

“Do I not look good anymore?” Jungkook asks taking a look at the spread of food, a lot of it looks homemade.

“You look all hot and sexy but not romantic, it’s like a triangle of what you can achieve with a haircut, it can either be sexy and romantic, romantic and hot, hot and sexy, but not the three of them together” Jungkook loves when you say the most ridiculous things so seriously.

“So, the gist of all that is you think I’m hot and sexy,” he says with a teasing tone, pulling you closer with one swift move.

“The food’s getting cold, you need to eat” you feel nervous and Jungkook looks at you all smugly.

Jungkook and you had been super busy all week, but to make up for it Jungkook had made big plans for the night. It would be your first month since your first date, it would also be the day he officially asks you to be his girlfriend. Instead, he was sitting by himself in the omakase restaurant you really wanted to try out. You pick up Jungkook’s fifth call, you had been knee-deep in documents for the last two weeks.

“Hey, where are you? Are you stuck in traffic?” Jungkook asks walking away from the camera.

“We had plans tonight? I totally forgot” those words leave your mouth and break his heart a little.

“You forgot?” he asks with a small voice, moving even farther away from the camera.

Comments:

Lola: is this their first fight or are they breaking up

SaggitariusQween: ___ is so right about the triangle of haircuts

Zzzzz: do we know if ___’s dad is single

Yesto: This started out so well and ended so bad

Ester: HOW DOES ONE FORGET A DATE WITH JEON JUNGKOOK

Wallu: I can’t believe I have to wait till next week

Dontlook: ___’s mom is an absolute diva and I’m a fan!!!

Episode 5:

“You forgot?” Jungkook asks you as you leave the conference room.

“I’ve been in and out of meetings with my lawyers, I’ve been accused of insider trading” you whisper the last part even tho the office is mostly empty.

“Are you alright? Why didn’t you tell me earlier? Did you have dinner?” you’re floored by the fact that Jungkook wants to take care of you even tho you stood him up.

“It’s just been overwhelming and I’m so fucking scared” you’ve been acting tough all day but it all is starting to get to you.

“I am so so sorry for standing you up Jungkook, I promised myself I wouldn’t let my job ruin my relationships but here we are” you close the door to your office and lay on the floor.

“___ this is a problem that’s out of your control, you don’t need to be sorry” Jungkook reassures you going back to the table and picking up his keys and jacket. He keeps you on the phone all the while he’s driving to your office.

You’re sitting on a bench outside your office building, the streets are dark and empty.

“I’m so sorry for today, I can’t believe I forgot” you apologise again as Jungkook walks out of his car.

“Hey- did you get fired?” Jungkook asks referring to the box filled with stuff beside you.

“No, I’m taking a leave of absence for a month while the internal investigation completes” you stand up defeated and put your stuff in his backseat. Not wanting to have this conversation on camera, you pull him, as away as you can.

“I’m so scared” you finally let your guard downs a few tears expecting your eyes immediately.

“What if they find the allegations to be true, what if I end up in jail” you ask and the cameraman zooms into the both of you.

“None of that is going to happen” Jungkook tries to reassure you but nothing is helping you right now. Leaning your head on his shoulder, you can feel the fear seize you.

“You’re the best boyfriend, running to me even when I let you down” the words come out of your mouth without much thinking and you both realise what you just did.

“I mean, we haven’t talked about our labels, but if your first thought after I stand you up is to make sure that I’m okay, you’re an amazing caring guy and you deserve someone better than me, someone, who never forgets-” Jungkook shuts you up with a deep kiss, the amount of feelings he has for you scare him, but he’d rather be hurt than not give you his hundred per cent.

Jungkook and you spend the rest of the weekend off-camera, you’re starting to feel a little better between all the calls with your lawyer and Jungkook doing everything in hopes to make you feel better. You’d been staying at Jungkook’s place this weekend, it was all very pg 13.

“Jungkook parents and my parents, if you’re seeing this, first off don’t and secondly, it was a very g-rated sleepover” you talk to the camera as you make breakfast for the both of you. You were too busy cutting fruit when Jungkook surprises you by snaking his hands around your waist.

“You’re making me breakfast, I have the best girlfriend in the world,” he says with his hoarse voice, snuggling into your neck.

“When did you wake up?” he asks still hugging you as you plate the fruit.

“A few production members were here to set up these cameras, now your parents are probably going to see this,” you say pointing to the cameras.

“Hello mom, I have a great girlfriend don’t I?” Jungkook plays along, helping you get everything to the dining table.

“So, what are your plans for today?” you ask him as he munches on the egg sandwich.

“I have a few work meetings and I have to be done reading a few scripts, what are you up to?” Jungkook asks watching you sip on your coffee.

“Hara is going to take me on a girl's day to help make me feel better, we’ll go window shopping, try on clothes we’re never going to buy and go day drinking” you try and sound a little excited about today, first Monday without work.

“So, I have a crazy plan. I’m going to LA for a week tomorrow for some work commitments, how about you come along?” Jungkook suggests, picking out all the apples from your bowl of fruits, he knows you aren’t a fan of apples.

“Really? I don’t want to bother you during work” you say and he furiously shakes his head.

“The work is a few parties and galas, I’ll have so much more fun with you there”

“I don’t have fancy Hollywood clothes, you should go by yourself” you try and push him away a little, wanting to wallow in your misery for a while.

“Here, I know you are more than capable of buying stuff for yourself but I want to spoil you.” Jungkook hands you his black card like it’s nothing.

“You need something low cut ___, show off those amazing pair of-”

“Can you be a little less crass and give me that dress,” you say opening the changing room curtains and taking the low cut dress from Hara’s hands. There will be four total events you’ll attend with Jungkook, so you need four outfits with two alternates. Hara is great at shopping so you get the outfits done in no time. Next up is heels.

“I just need one comfortable pair of heels that’ll go with all the outfits,” you tell Hara as she sits you down ready to make you try a thousand shoes.

“No, absolutely not, when your boyfriend hands you his credit card to spoil you, three pairs of heels are a minimum” Hara next brings you to a nail salon,

“I never have the time to get my nails done, these look cute” you show off your freshly painted nails as Hara drives you somewhere.

“Where are we going next, my place for wine and sushi?” you ask enthusiastically and Hara nods her head no.

“I didn’t know I needed a haircut,” you tell Hara as you walk into the salon. “Today is not about your needs, it’s about spoiling yourself”

Jungkook and you weren’t expecting any of this press at the airport, you’re clutching onto his arm close as you make your way through.

“Are you alright?” he asks you as the flashes go off very frantically.

“I just wish I had put on some makeup if I knew there was going to be press” you joke as you go through security.

“You look absolutely stunning” Jungkook isn’t big on PDA but he really wants to hold your hand right now. It’s like you can read his mind as you lace your hands together while picking out some snacks.

“Let’s play the balance game” Jungkook suggests picking up the stack of cards production handed you earlier.

“Summer or winter” the both of you answer winter together, “Passenger or driver” Jungkook answers driver while you answer passenger, “That’s good to know,” Jungkook says picking up the next card.

“Plans or surprises” You both have different answers again, he goes for surprises while you go for plans,

“I can plan surprises for you then” you reassure him picking up the next card.

“Words or actions” this one is a thinker but you answer first, “actions because words can be empty sometimes” “I prefer actions too” the options keep getting harder, till you’re both stumped thinking about this one, “Passion or stability” “I don’t think I could choose either, passion is very important for a long term relationship,” Jungkook says and you nod in agreement.

“We need to stay awake if we’re beating this jetlag” you shake Jungkook for the nth time on your drive to the hotel, it’s a bright morning but you’re both still on Seoul time.

“How about just a cat nap before we have to start getting ready for the event,” he says resting his head on your shoulder.

“Nope, we need to set the cycle right and go to sleep today at a reasonable time so that we can enjoy the rest of the trip,” you say and Jungkook groans snuggling closer to you.

“You can be a little annoying when you’re reasonable” Jungkook is very close to falling asleep, he loves the way your hair smells.

“That’s rude” it’s hard for you to be awake too, Jungkook’s a little too warm.

“I just said a little, the rest of the time you’re attractive, very very attractive” he smiles as you snuggle closer, very close to falling asleep.

“Jungkook, wake up! It’s six pm already, WE FELL ASLEEP” you shake Jungkook awake and he sits up in bed all groggy.

“six pm, SIX PM!” he jumps out of the bed checking his phone.

“What time is the car arriving?” you ask taking out a million things from your suitcase.

“In forty minutes, you get ready here, I’ll get ready next door in my manager's room” Jungkook stumbles picking up today's suit and you rush into the restroom for a much-needed shower. Jungkook’s struggling with his tie when you emerge from the restroom, ready in twenty minutes.

“Do I look like an oscar nominated director's girlfriend?” you ask and Jungkook gasps at how beautiful you look.

“You definitely do, I can’t believe you’re my girlfriend. You’re so fucking beautiful” Jungkook has an awestruck look on his face, the same one he had on your first date.

“Let me help you with that,” you say taking the tie from his hands. Jungkook takes out his phone, taking a few pictures and videos.

“You’re very good at this, how many exes did you do this for?” he asks teasing you as you fix his collar.

“None, I went to a private school with uniforms that had actual ties,” you say as he takes a few more pictures.

“I haven’t socialised in a while, I forgot how exhausting it is,” Jungkook says as you feed him some of your chicken.

“You guys are very adorable,” Jimin says from beside you, he’s an actor and you’d been talking his ear off all evening because you don’t know anyone here.

“Aren’t we” Jungkook says pulling your chair closer to his. “I don’t want to be single either, do you have any single friends ___” Jimin says very seriously.

“I have a friend, she’s single but she’d eat you alive” “Hara?” Jungkook asks and you nod furiously sipping on your whiskey.

“I think they’re both the same kinda intense tho?” Jungkook suggests and you disagree, “He’s not her type tho, she likes men who hate themselves for some reason, Jimin is very sure about himself” there you go again saying the most ridiculous thing with all seriousness.

“So what, you’re not Jungkook’s type either, yet he’s sappy about you” Jimin says and you turn around to Jungkook with a quirked eyebrow.

“What is your type then Jeon Jungkook?” “She’s two tables away, she’s quintessential Jungkook type,” Jimin says before Jungkook can shut him up, not to your surprise she’s a tall, beautiful model.

“It was just a fling, I could never emotionally connect with her, but I can with you” he says kissing your cheek.

“I believe you,” you say caressing his thigh.

"So, about your friend Hara, when are you introducing us”

“I’d marry these tacos” Jungkook says growing as he takes another big bite, it was the third event and the both of you escaped early to get some food.

“How do you know about this place?” he asks and you chew quickly,

“After my parents divorced, my dad moved to LA and my mother moved to Seoul, so I’d spend summers here”

“There’s so much I don’t know about you, tell me more” “I went to a boarding school for five years, my sister named her son after our pet fish because she lost a bet to me-” “Woah wait, hold up, what is your nephew’s name?” “Henry” “Why would you name your pet fish Henry?” Jungkook asks rolling up his sleeves.

“I had the biggest crush on this boy in my class, his name was Henry,” you say and Jungkook sighs cutely.

“What was the bet with your sister about?” “It’s too soon for you to know Jungkook, we’re trying to fall in love with eachother and that would just sully my image in your mind” you both laugh as you say that.

“Tell me something I don’t know about you,” you ask Jungkook as you’re both staring at the ocean.

“I had my first-ever kiss on camera, I’m a little claustrophobic, and other than for editing purposes, I’ve never actually sat down and watched any of the movies I’ve directed” you turn around to look at him,

“Why? They’re masterpieces, I cried for an hour after I got done watching Metropolitan” “Really, an hour? Also masterpieces?” “Yes, the movie so accurately portrayed the loneliness of living in a big city, that scene where she lays on her apartment floor crying by herself as the camera moves away showing an empty apartment, that hit a little close to my heart. I thought I’d never tell you this, but I decided to move closer to my parents because of that movie” a tear escapes Jungkook’s eye and you’re quick to wipe it away.

“You, um, wow, really, my movie touched you like that?” “Yes, and a million others too, you’re great at what you do. Do I need to remind you how gosh darn amazing you are” you try and cheer Jungkook up, poking his cheek.

“My lady, can I have a dance with you?” You both had just gotten back from the last event of the week, a Forbes event. You both had a few too many drinks tonight, maybe that’s why he looks extra charming right now.

“Sure, my lord” you giggle playing along with him. The soft music sets the right tone as you rest your head on his chest. There’s silence in your hotel room as you both sway, you don’t know what love feels like, but your heart feels content and happy like it’s never before. Jungkook twirls you around, only to pull you even closer.

“So, I got us another room next door, one without cameras,” Jungkook says plastering a sloppy kiss on your cheek.

“Really?” you ask pulling away to get a good look at his face.

“Yes, only if you want to” “I want to” you reply a little too enthusiastically. Picking you up bridal style, he kisses you one last time before he walks out of the frame.

Comments:

Lola: Jimin is right, they are adorable

SaggitariusQween: HOW ARE THE BOTH OF THEM SO BEAUTIFUL IN THE MORNING…

Zzzzz: Jimin get in line, we all want to date Hara

Yesto: This is going so well, too well

Ester: why can’t we get the sex on camera too, we’re too involved in this relationship anyway

Wallu: ___ had had such an interesting life

Dontlook: ___ talking about how much Jungkook’s movie affected him, just want he needed to hear

Kth: Can’t believe we just have two episodes to go

Episode 6:

“I can’t believe you convinced me to take a hike,” you say holding bam in your arms.

“It was a barter babe, I helped you move, and in turn, you agreed to go on a hike with me and my son,” Jungkook says cooing at bam, he’s the smallest, cutest, puppy you’ve ever seen.

“Come on, it’s going to be so much fun, we’ll see the sunrise,” he says putting one of his airpod in your ear and blasting cheesy pop music.

“I’ve been updating my Instagram so often since we started dating, you take too many pictures of me,” you say as Jungkook is taking pictures of bam and you.

“Things are good, so good, too good, it’s a little self-sabotaging but I’m starting to worry about why things are so good” you confess to him as you’re climbing down the stairs, maybe hikes aren’t that bad.

“What’s the worse that could happen?” “We could have a major fight” “Then we would fight, talking about it, you can’t expect a relationship where there aren’t disagreements, as long as at the end of the day we still want to be with eachother, we’ll be fine”

Jungkook had the great idea to throw a dinner party for all your friends instead of meeting them at different times.

“What if our friends don’t get along,” you ask him while struggling with a chain.

“So many things you’re worried about in that smart head of yours, what if things work out, have you ever thought about that” Jungkook says taking over with the jewelry.

“You really balance me out Kook,” you say looking at him through the mirror while he too, struggles with the chain.

“This should not be this difficult” he groans as the bell to your apartment rings.

“It must be Hara, she’s a master at this” You’re not wearing a chair for this dinner because Hara showed up one martini in and suddenly the hook was too small. On the plus side, everyone’s laughing, joking and getting along, especially Hara and Jimin.

“Oh my god, you’re handsome,” you say as Jungkook introduces you to his friend Jin.

“Jungkook, lock this one down, she has taste” Jin plays along shaking your hand.

“Okay that’s enough, you’re married and you’re dating me”

“Okay, what did you tell Jimin because he’s been giving me some serious hints,” Hara asks you as you pour yourself another drink in the kitchen.

“I told him that you’d eat him alive,” you say as you watch Jungkook talking to a few of your friends.

“Like sexually-” “No, like emotionally, I’ve seen you with guys and if you do make a move on Jimin, just remember that he’s a dear friend and Jungkook holds grudges,” you say as Namjoon enters the kitchen with an empty glass.

“Alright” Namjoon hasn’t talked to you a lot, Jungkook thinks highly of him and you’re worried he doesn’t like you.

“Can I make you another drink?” you ask and Namjoon nods, still quiet.

“When Jungkook told me about the show I wasn’t very worried because he can be a little spontaneous, but I’m worried now because he’s actually fallen for you,” Namjoon says sipping on his drink.

“I don’t want to scare you or anything but I hope you’re sure about your feelings, I care about him a lot and so do you” he continues speaking but you’re still stuck on his last sentence.

“How do you know if you’re in love with someone?” you ask your mother and she takes a long sip of her coffee.

“You just know when you are in love with him ___, is he constantly on your mind, does he make you feel better about yourself, do you see a future with him and does it feel right” your mother lists and you massage your head, feeling a headache coming.

“I’m just so, I have so many feelings for him and we’re so great together but what if the fairytale ends” this makes your mother frown.

“Is this because of your father and I? We might not be married to eachother but that doesn’t mean I don’t love him anymore” “You love him, still?” “Not on most days, but we spent our youths together, we raised two confident, beautiful daughters. The concept of loving someone is selfless, you give and give until you can’t anymore. Maybe you’ll get hurt in the process, maybe you’ll find the love of your life, you just need to trust the process” she says with a reassuring pat on your hand.

“What if I hurt him, I think I’m more terrified of hurting him than me getting hurt” Namjoon’s words are still ringing in your mind.

“Darling, you might, but you need to stop worrying about what might happen. Focus on what is happening right now instead, you’ve met this incredible guy and you’re both crazy about eachother, focus on that”

“So, ___, thoughts?” Jungkook’s gathered his hyungs at his apartment tonight, it was pretty easy to lure them with the promise of fried chicken and beer.

“She was hyping up your movie all through the dinner, she enjoys a good whiskey and is very charming, and we know for sure that she doesn’t indulge in insider trading, she’s kinda perfect for you,” Yoongi says taking a big swig of his beer.

“Are you sure about her feelings for you?” Namjoon asks the important question everyone has been thinking about.

“Yes,” Jungkook says confidently and Namjoon follows up with a how.

“She suggested we make Wednesday date night a thing, she’s been clear with her feelings and emotions so far, she leans on me for support and lets me do the same, and, um, not to be sappy but each second I spend with her feels meaningful” Namjoon is a little satisfied with Jungkook’s answer.

“Have you guys talked about marriage and kids? It’s really important to be on the same page about this stuff, and no you can’t change eachother mind about this” Jin says sternly, “We haven’t talked about it yet, it’s only been like a month and a half” he says getting a little defensive.

“There’s no rush in bringing it up yet, but wherever you do, talk about it in lengths because it’s important” he takes note of what Jin said.

“Okay, let’s talk about the important stuff, is the sex good?” Jimin asks and multiple people groan at the same time, a few cushions are thrown in his face.

“It’s mindblowing” Jungkook mumbles and Namjoon and Jin stand up disagreeing.

“You are like a little brother to me why would I want to know that” “I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT” Jungkook’s giggling at how outraged the two are and Yoongi’s question only adds fuel to the fire,

“Is the sex good or does it get better every time” “It gets better every time”

“How was your week? Wait what’s different?” you ask as Jungkook walks up to you.

“I’m dressed like you, the sweater, longline jacket, so many accessories, the boots, I’m dressed like you and I kinda like it” Jungkook twirls around for you and it’s shocking how accurate he is.

“Where did you get the boots from? Absolutely love them” “I stole a pair from Jimin hyung, he has too many pairs to notice one missing,” he says walking along with you, his hand draping across your waist.

“So, I just had coffee with my mom and worked out four times this week, what a productive week,” you say sarcastically as you take your seats.

“I don’t love it when you talk about yourself like that, it’s been a tough month for you, cut yourself some slack,” he says massaging your arm.

“Thank you,” you say kissing his cheek, “For what?” Jungkook asks as the lights in the stadium go dimmer.

“For being kind to me when I’m not” the concert crowd reves up with the first song.

“You’re very precious to me, I’m always going to be kind to you” you’re glad how easy it is for Jungkook to vocalize his emotions because you wish it was that easy for you. To just say a million things you feel as you both dance and sing around, you wish you could just vocalize how you feel.

Comments:

Lola: ___ talking to her mother about love, made me call my mother

SaggitariusQween: Namjoon looking out for Jungkook, what a sappy bunch of dudes

Zzzzz: Jimin getting pillows thrown in his face for asking relevant questions

Yesto: Jungkook reassuring ___ is the kind of support I need

Ester: ‘So, ___, thoughts’ was sucha relevant question

Wallu: please I’m hoping to god they end up together, I’ll stop believing in love if they don’t

Dontlook: I don’t know why I’m more curious about Hara and Jimin

Kth: Can’t believe we just have one episode to go

Episode 7:

It was the final week of the show, it was also very close to d-day, and you were freaking out about it.

“I’m just going to focus on work, I have a shit ton of it to get through” you tell Hara as you’re driving her to work.

“So, do you or do you not want to know more about my first date weekend with the guy you set me up with” “correction, I did not do that so when this thing ends in a colossal mess, I don’t want to be blamed for it,” you say sipping on your coffee while stopping at a red light.

“What does a first date weekend even mean?” you ask driving again and Hara snickers a little too gleefully.

“We went on a first date on Friday, ended up at his place and spent the rest of the weekend together,” she says throwing you a wink, telling you exactly what they did the entire weekend.

“At first, I just thought he was hot and had a great ass, but we talked so much. I think he’s the first guy after Eric that I’ve emotionally connected with” Hara says while she’s texting the mentioned guy.

“Eric, your high school boyfriend,” you ask very shocked, “Yes, he might be the one ___” she says with a dreamy look on her face.

“Just take it a little slow, play it safe, we don’t want you getting hurt again” “Life is too short to always play it safe ___”

“I promise you don’t have to go through this, we can just forget about this” Jungkook has been trying to talk you out of the tattoo for a while now, but you’re willing to go through it.

You handed the tattoo artist a cute drawing of the winking emoticon Jungkook made, very similar to Jungkook’s own tattoo.

“It’s kinda silly and cute like you” Jungkook worried, he was worried that the tattoo might hurt, that you might change your mind, that you might regret it. You’re getting it done on your right, upper inner arm, and you’re scared about it hurting too much.

“Just relax and sit back, it’ll be done in a few minutes,” the tattoo artist says and you exhale really loud as the pen touches you for the first time,

Jungkook can feel the pain based on how hard you’re clutching onto his hand.

“So, I’m thinking about changing apartments?” Jungkook says in an effort to distract you.

“Really? your apartment is pretty big already” you say clutching your lip in pain.

“Yes, but I want a house with a backyard for bam” “You’re such a great pet owner, Jesus fucking christ” you don’t get used to the pain, rather it gets worse.

“And I um, want a garden to grow some flowers and vegetables, my dad’s great at gardening stuff and I want to have a hobby in common with him” Jungkook keeps talking and you’re starting to relax just a bit.

“Because I can’t for the life of me learn how to golf, it’s such a boring game” “You’re such an amazing son, I hope our kids learn that from you”

Jungkook ignored the insane thing you said all through the time you get your tattoo done. He doesn’t bring it up as he’s driving to dinner.

“Okay, that was a super insane thing to say this early in a relationship” you finally address the elephant in the room and Jungkook can’t help but giggle at your anxiousness.

“I was taken aback for a second too, but um-” “I was in so much pain that the talking filter in my mind was broken, I am so sorry,” you say as he stops at a red light.

“You don’t need to be sorry, but it’s cute to think that you think of our future, our kids” Jungkook’s trying to make this all easy for you by teasing you but it only mortifies you more.

“Why did I say that, I want the earth to open up and swallow me” you cringe all over and he can’t help but laugh.

“It wasn’t that bad, I was thinking about bringing up the topic of kids and you just dropped it like an atom bomb,” he says and you hit his arm hard.

“Can we cancel dinner, I’ll just take a cab home” you suggest and Jungkook nods a no aggressively.

“On the other side of cringe is a fun evening ___, we’re going to eat sushi and go sing some karaoke”

“I didn’t know we were doing karaoke” “We weren’t but I just added it to today's agenda”

“Holy smokes babe you’re so off-key,” Jungkook says as you very passionately sing a prince song.

“I like it when you call me babe, babe” truth be told, the sake you had with dinner is hitting hard right now.

Case and point, the complete bench is empty but you take a seat on Jungkook’s lap.

“I noticed, the first time I said it your eyes lit up. You tested the waters with Kook too but I like babe better, babe” he says browsing through the music selection, looking for the perfect song.

“I also would like to try honey and sweetheart, those are such classics too,” you say and Jungkook finally selects a song.

“Honey, I’m looking forward to all the new nicknames to come, my sweetheart,” he says as you stand up to get some water.

“That sentence didn’t make sense grammar-wise, but love the sentiment” he surprises you with a quick twirl, you almost stumble but he catches you as he starts singing.

“I'd spend ten thousand hours and ten thousand more. Oh, if that's what it takes to learn that sweetheart of yours” Jungkook sings sweetly and you look at him with the most love-sick look, you’ll never be the same kind of happy you are today.

“I can’t believe it’s been fifty days already, time went by too quickly” Jungkook sighed sitting in the same conference room he sat down for the pre-filming interviews.

“___ and you have been the only couple out of the six couples who stayed with their initial match till the end,” the interviewer tells and Jungkook gasps with surprise.

“We were too perfectly matched already” Jungkook can’t help but brag a little.

“During the early dates with ___, did at any point you feel like changing your partner?” the question makes Jungkook think of the earlier dates.

“I was very fascinated by ___ on our first date, and with the gradual growth that we had I was only more curious to know more about her” Jungkook answers honestly and the interviewer nods with a smile.

“Do you think 50 days is enough time to fall in love with someone?” he giggles before answering this one, “I think I fell for her when we were in LA, she was such a champion for me through the complete trip. If I were to pinpoint the exact moment, it’d be the second she told me how much my movie affected her.” Jungkook can’t stop smiling, he’s a little giddy to see you.

“I think around date number three I realised how much Jungkook’s out of my league, but at the same time, I so badly wanted him to be interested in me” you answer the interviewee's question about any time during the month you felt insecure about the relationship.

“Do you have any regrets at the end of these 50 days?” she asks and you sigh sitting back in your chair.

“I wish I had been more vocal with my compliments and feelings towards him, he always tells me how beautiful I am, how I’m doing better, I wish I had been a little less scared of being forward with him”

“Did you fall in love with Jungkook, if yes, when?” you take a good few minutes to answer this question, “When we went to the concert, that’s when I fell for him. My professional life had been in the gutter, to put it gently, and Jungkook told me I was very precious to him, and there was this sinking feeling in my heart, I knew I was down bad for him” a tear rolled down your cheek as you talk about that.

“Jungkook left you this” it’s a card that tells you where he’s waiting for you.

“It was very easy to guess your favourite place in Seoul Kook, you should have made me work a little harder for it” you spot him sitting on a bench facing the Han river.

“I didn’t want to make you work for it at all, I’m very impatient today,” Jungkook says like he isn’t impatient all the time. Jungkook lifts you a little off the ground when as he hugs you, your laughter feels like music to his ears.

“So, before we talk any further, I have something for you,” you say handing him a very plain envelope.

“You wrote me a letter?” he asks and you nod, letting him read the letter you poured your heart into.

Jungkook,

I am not the best at saying what I’m feeling, so I’ve decided to write them down. This list might seem like a weird way to share how I’m feeling but that’s how my mind works.

1. I love how caring you are, and how at times you put me first even when you don’t need to

2. I love that you cry while reading books, it shows how kind-hearted you are

3. I love how you are patient with me and our relationship, even when it’s frustrating at times

4. I love how passionate you are about your work, it shows how much you care

5. I love how reassuring you are, and how you remind me to be gentle with myself.

6. I love your voice, you could be a singer in another life

7. I love the way you kiss me, I could never get tired of it

And, most importantly, I love you.

Love,

___

PS. if this reads a little too cringy, we will never speak of this letter again, capiche?

Jungkook’s floored as he’s done reading the letter, you wipe a few tears from his face.

“Never thought a list would make me feel like this” he jokes putting away the letter and circling his arms around you.

“Lists can be very inspirational, especially when written by me” you play along avoiding his eyes.

“___, look at me,” he says pulling your face up with a gentle touch on your chin.

“I love you, I love you in a way that frightens and excites me, I love you” Jungkook kisses you passionately at the end of his sentence, he can feel you smiling against his lips and he doesn’t want to stop.

Comments:

Lola: not gonna lie, the list broke me

SaggitariusQween: They’re so in love, I’m so happy for them yet for some reason I want to run into traffic.

Zzzzz: The nicknames are so darn cute

Yesto: I understand ___’s need to want kids with Jungkook asap

Ester: them talking about the moment they fell in love with the biggest smiles, made me a little too happy

Wallu: Hoping this couple lasts long because I couldn’t believe in love if they don’t

Dontlook: Okay, just checked their Instagrams and they’re all over each other’s pages, glad they’re still in love

Kth: Can’t believe there’s not going to be another Jungkook and ___ episode

A year later…

The bed is empty and cold when you wake up, putting on a robe you wince because of the morning light as you walk downstairs. Jungkook’s humming by himself as he flips the omelette, he knows better than to cut up fruit, after last night the both of you need a big, hearty breakfast. His plans to surprise you with breakfast in bed are ruined by you hugging him from behind.

“I hate waking up with you not in bed” you mumble against his bare back and he chuckles turning around to face you.

“I am sorry, but in my defence, you were supposed to be asleep so I could be the perfect boyfriend,” he says kissing you on the lips.

“You are already a perfect boyfriend,” you say kissing him with a smile on your face, the perfect moment is broken up by the toaster going off.

“So, happy first anniversary,” Jungkook says and you look at him all puzzled and confused.

“Our anniversary isn’t for another month, that’s why we planned the Paris trip for next month,” you say and he frowns his eyebrows.

“No, we’re going on the trip next month because of my scheduling issues and a year ago today, we went on our first date” Jungkook has a lot of things prepared for today.

“I thought our anniversary would be the day I accidentally called you my boyfriend and you went along with it” you made sure to mark that date in your calendar, never wanting to forget it.

“How do we decide on this?” “Rock, paper and scissors” you suggest and Jungkook complies immediately. Like always he pulls a paper and you pull scissors,

“How the fuck do you always win? What kind of witchcraft is this?” he groans with outrage.

“So, Our anniversary is next month but I’d still like those gifts. I on the other hand didn’t get you any gifts because like we decided, our anniversary is next month” you snatch the small bag from his hands, it's jewelry for sure.

“What, is this a ring? Are you proposing? How dare you just hand me my engagement ring like it’s a random cup of coffee” you’re the one outraged this time but he just laughs sitting up in his bed.

“First off, you literally stanched the gift from my hands and just open it,” he says and you gently open the velvet box. It’s not a ring, it’s a pendant, a replica of the pendant your grandmother gave you and you lost a few years ago.

“Oh my god, this is the sweetest thing ever, my god you’re sweet. I love you” you say pecking his lips and he’s still fixated on the small bag.

“There’s more to it, look inside” you find a polaroid picture of Jungkook and you from a year ago, behind it reads, ‘Let’s move in together the card and the gift makes you tear up a little.

“I don’t have a gift for you yet Kook, it’s arriving next week and it’s not as sentimental as this one,” you say cuddling closer to you.

“You’re the only gift I need ___, other than the vintage camcorder you’ve already bought me”

“I knew Jimin is too weak to keep a secret” you groan about the ruined surprise.

“Hara’s made him weak, can’t believe they’re pregnant” Jungkook sighs as he’s looking back at the year, it’s been a life-changing year.

“I know we’re too busy to have a kid right now, how about we have very protected sex in our bed” Jungkook suggests pulling you in his lap.

“Our bed” you aw about the fact that you’re both moving in together while Jungkook leaves a trail of sloppy kisses.

2K notes · View notes

failing-to-write-again · 1 year

Text

Baby Photos Part 2!

Part 1

Since the lovely asker @lilithram did say to pick between Sakamaki baby photos or reader baby photos, I chose both. While the previous part was less overall fluff and more early relationship I decided to make this one closer to an established relationship. I’m a bit nervous about making the boys ooc so any feedback on parts that are good and in character or those less in character would help me work to tailor my writing.

I worked under the ages proposed by @diabolik-shu-lover from this post.

Shu Sakamaki

Visiting le château de Heinz wasn’t your ideal vacation spot if you were to be completely honest. Unfortunately a major downside to dating a crown prince is how business minded people are going to be about your relationship. Shu had delayed taking you here, sharing his wish to live a more ordinary life until his accession, and even then he still wanted to have a more “normal” relationship. So far your little trip had consisted of a dinner with Shu and his father where he quizzed you on your life, followed by two days of loneliness where Shu was kept away by business of some kind with his father.

Waking up to day 3 of being alone you elected to at least try to find some evidence of Shu’s childhood you could tease him on. There had to be some silly sailor uniform or ruffled collar from when he was a small Victorian lad. Wandering the halls the castle was a thousand times creepier than the Sakamaki manor had ever been, especially when you were left without a lazy vampire keeping an eye on you. Karl Heinz had requested that his sons not kill you but that was before you began dating the son most likely to be forced into some arranged marriage. It didn’t help that the staff weren’t hidden familiars, they were standing in every room just looking… creepy.

Eventually your exploration landed you in a gallery, paintings decorated the hall with spotlights above each painting. Many seemed very old and depicted pretty women in the castle gardens at night. One of these paintings had a woman you were convinced was Shu and Reiji’s mother. She was under a gazebo in a red dress staring lovingly at someone standing somewhere behind the painting.

“This must’ve been back when they were all in love before Cordelia.” You mumbled to yourself, turning away and continuing down the hall. You found some more imposing portraits of men, a few being Karl Heinz himself, and some more general landscape paintings.

After nearly 2 hours of this you found a new hall of all six Sakamaki sons in a series of paintings, VICTORY. It’s always a bit weird when you get obvious reminders of your boyfriend being 387 years old even though he looks like a 19 year old. Seeing paintings of him in severely dated clothes and poses was just bizarre, snapping a picture of him in a wig from the Georgian period was a good form of pay back for his abandonment of you these past few days. There was one painting of him unlike all the others, he looked roughly 3 or 4 and was sat in his mother’s lap with a silver rattled as he peered down at a bundle in Karl Heinz’s lap, the raven coloured hair giving it away as Reiji. He looked so curious and his father looked so happy. He was cute, with blonde curlier locks and a big round face, he looked like any modern day child meeting their younger sibling. Seeing him with eyes so awake and full of life, and no animosity between the two oldest sons of Karl Heinz.

“She kept scolding me for not sitting still.”

Shouting in shock as you turn to see your MIA boyfriend with a shit eating grin on his face at your reaction.

“What’s with that face woman, girlfriend’s are meant to be happy when they see their boyfriend’s not scream like a banshee.” Teasing you as he stepped closer, moving his hands to sit comfortably at your waist. In response you let your head fall with a thud into his chest, wrapping your arm around his back.

“Well boyfriend’s aren’t meant to tell their girlfriend’s they’re going on vacation to then vanish off for days. We never get time together in the manor without your brothers hanging around and now your dad is keeping you busier than you’ve ever been.”

Sighing, Shu buried his nose in your hair wrapping one arm around your shoulder and another around your lower back huddling you close. “I’m sorry. That guy wouldn’t stop talking about all this protocol and other crap about properly introducing you as my chosen queen. He wanted to rush everything.”

Pulling back just enough to look up eyes wide at what he was saying. Queen, you a queen? Not to mention having to meet more creepy vampires. Sensing some of your unease, Shu smiled.

“Relax, I managed to get him to agree to a much slower schedule, you won’t be rushed off to a ball anytime soon. For now the worst of it will be seeing some property we own and meeting his close advisory staff and my other’s old staff. After I have you to myself for another few months we’re going to graduate first.”

Letting out a sigh of relief you lay your head against his shoulder, staring back up at the painting. “As a kid you were pretty cute Shu.”

“Not as cute as you as a mini ballerina,” he shot back, absentmindedly rubbing little circles against your back as he also stared at the portrait.

“If I do end up as Queen you’re not allowed to marry anyone else, I refuse to deal with the whole situation with your mothers. And you can’t ever let our kids have such a poor relationship like you and Reiji.”

“Not if, when, princess and don’t work yourself up over stupid things. You’re mine, I'm not letting some woman try to take me away ever. Seriously such bothersome thinking.”

Leaning down he gently kissed you, as if you were so delicate and precious. Looking up at blue eyes finally looking awake and closer to that childhood Shu then he had in centuries.

Reiji Sakamaki

“The box I’m looking for is about as big as an envelope, and has a leather strap holding it shut. Let me know if you spot it.”

“Alright, anywhere you’d prefer I don’t look. I don’t want to run into some secret Laito porn stash up here.”

You hear Reiji chuckle at that. “Laito doesn’t come up here, too many spiders. I do not care where you go, we are partners, we agreed no secrets right.”

That made you smile, your relationship with Reiji was the fruit of a long journey of trying to reach an understanding. For a while you were both not fully able to understand each other, and while no relationship is perfect, especially yours, hiccups that would’ve caused serious arguments before were now easier to settle over tea. It felt good to feel like a respected partner.

Looking through the attic for this mystery box was a good time to find mementos to learn more about Reiji. Looking through older books and boxes of clothes or unused houseware most of the items in this portion of the attic seemed unimportant. Reiji focused his search on the opposite side of the room where the ceiling was higher, you were shorter than the 6ft man so were less uncomfortable searching where the roof sloped down. A small dusty window allowed some of the early morning light to stream in. Reiji had begun waking later during holidays to allow you both to have a day that had more sunlight for you. He claimed it was to reduce risk of seasonal depression or vitamin D deficiency, with the added benefit of allowing you both to go to museums and other date locations. Waking at 12am gave you the opportunity to see sunrises daily, and if you were honest the view of your boyfriend in the hazy early morning glow was always a welcome sight.

“You’re staring.”

“I see nothing wrong with admiring my boyfriend”

He let a smile sigh pass his lips as he smiled, shaking his head. Looking back down at the stack of cardboard boxes he was rifling through. You pull your eyes away and back to the room around you, you spot something sticking out behind a shelf. Pulling it out you find a handful of photos and a small box. The photos were black and white, Daguerreotypes, on metal sheets. The images showed a younger Reiji taking what looked like test photos. Some were of him, slightly blurred from incorrect technique, others of items. The last photo was much clearer and was of Reiji sitting in a chair with a book in his lap. He must’ve gotten a familiar to take the photo.

“Hey Reiji can I take these down? I don’t know how to store such photos though.”

Looking up Reiji walked over, taking the photos from you to look through. He picked up a box placing them inside before handing them to you,

“I will have the familiars store them properly and make scans so you can have more stable prints of them. If you wish to have images of me to display however, I would prefer you take more modern photos with both of us.”

Smiling down at the box of photos, Reiji spoke again.

“Smiling over such trivial things as a few photos, you should be harder to please.”

“You’re probably the first man to ever say that Reiji, besides it’s nice to have childhood photos of each other. I only have my locket but what happens when your children ask to see what you looked like as a child?”

“Our children will have plenty of paintings of me to see at my father’s castle, and if we are so lucky your only response will be that they look exactly as you did as a child.” Adjusting his glasses Reiji knelt down and picked up the box you had also pulled out with the photos. Meanwhile as his words set in your face flushed slightly.

“Our children…Reiji you shouldn’t say that stuff so casually. Besides, why would you want them to look like me? I'm human.”

That was not a response he liked, gently lifting your chin with his thumb and pointer finger Reiji looked you in the eye as he spoke. “Our children should be as pretty or handsome as their mother. I’m insulted you think, after all we’ve been through, I have not grown out of the belief that blood is a final decider in terms of superiority. You are superior, you are who I want, you alone are my partner and equal so strong as to be able to hold my heart in your hands. Am I clear?”

Your blush darkens as Reiji flusters you further, you can only nod your head in response to such strong compliments said so earnestly. Smiling Reiji’s thumb gently swiped over your bottom lip before leaning in to kiss you. Reiji always kisses you with the aim to convey all of his feelings for you, as if you will never be able to kiss him again. Moving in tandem you ended up leaning against a shelf with Reiji’s arm pinning you there, your arms holding onto his collar to prevent him pulling away too soon.

Unfortunately, Reiji has to ensure you take in air so moves back. Opening the box, he removes a key, turning it over in his hands.

“This key is to my father’s laboratory here, he used it when he was visiting us as children. I sealed it off years ago and elected to use my room for my experiments. However, due to the chemicals it is not safe for you to sleep there so they must be moved.”

“What’s wrong with my room?”

“It is a guest room, I’m not going to sleep every night in a guest bedroom in my own home. No, my room must be altered to fit its needs and to do so I shall reclaim the laboratory as my own to allow you to rest safely.”

All you could do is follow along as Reiji began to return back downstairs, gazing down at the box of pictures. Looking at the sad younger Reiji you couldn’t help but compare him to the cool, confident man he had become.

Ayato Sakamaki

Ayato had demanded you meet him in the garden of the castle that evening, something about having something special to show you. You weren’t sure what to expect really, surprises with Ayato were often either very nice or sweet but messy failures. Breakfast in bed when you’ve never cooked before was a bad idea in hindsight, even he had to admit. Still as the night started to fade into dawn you made your way to the gardens, examining the sights around you as you went.

The father of the Sakamaki’s had summoned them to return for some festival of sorts. Ayato had been vague in describing it, rather unhappy to be returning. It seemed like some carnival was being set up, you hoped it was a carnival anyway. As you ponder the pros of encouraging Ayato’s competitiveness to win you stuffed toys you eventually reach the garden. Opening the glass doors you see Ayato sitting on a blanket, under the stone gazebo and some candles lit around. He had a few plates of your favourite deserts around as well as takoyaki. He grinned as you approached, arms crossed and pride beaming from his face.

“I set this all up, yours truly is the best boyfriend ever, and I have a present for you.” Pulling out a box with a bow stuck on the lid, he gestured for you to open it. You sat down cross legged, opening the box to reveal a collection of photos.

Lifting some out you realise these were the photos Ayato had burnt after he had first met you, before you had started dating. They looked untouched. Ayato, not trusting your silence, began to speak again.

“Ore-sama got the familiars to find copies and I had those losers in the tech club at school print them. They couldn't say no to yours truly. Do you like it?”

“Why did you do all this, you threw them into the fire.” Ayato blushed before looking away, a hand on his neck.

“I…felt…bad about making you cry like that. It’s only fun when you cry from my bites, not over that stuff.”

Your sniffling brought his attention back to you, panic spreading across his face. Pulling you into his lap and holding you close as his brain froze trying to find the best course of action. Your hands rising up to hold his cheeks as you attempted to calm down, a smile on your face.

“It’s ok, they’re happy tears. I’m happy Ayato.”

“Are you sure, don’t lie to yours truly.”

“I’m not, I swear! Thank you Ayato, these photos are important to me.”

Sighing in relief, Ayato leant back letting his head thunk against one of the gazebo pillars.

“Damn it, you’re not meant to cry when Ore-sama gives you gifts.”

Running his fingers along your back. You began rifling through some of the photos noticing some new additions to the collection. There, between the photos of a younger you were pictures of you and Ayato on various dates. You, completely unaware of the camera while Ayato was looking and seemingly taking each photo. There was also one picture of a painting, it was of three boys with the child on the left resembling a much younger version of your boyfriend.

“I didn’t know you had any childhood photos of Ayato.”

“It’s the only one, you can’t have a collection of photos without one of yours truly to admire.”

Giggling you sit back leaning against his chest while you both began to enjoy your picnic and company.

Laito Sakamaki

You were currently facing a big problem, for some reason the 2nd year history department had decided to assign a project discussing your family history…in detail. So you were currently stressed out of your mind trying to figure out how to worm your way out of this one. Laito was covered, his family history well laid out as a royal and all of his ancestors having false human lives, it basically wrote itself. Yet here you were unable to write anything. It’s not that you were necessarily ashamed of your orphan status, and your close companions now also ‘brides’ of the Sakamaki’s were virtually sisters and you could maybe write about them. But people always got weird about orphans, and while you weren’t ashamed to be one by any means, being Laito’s girlfriend let alone a Sakamaki girlfriend involved gossip, it came with the territory. Extra rich boys in a school full of rich kids would always mean they were an aim for many girls and their parents alike, let alone Laito’s colourful past meaning he’d slept with basically any 2nd year heiress he could say a word to. All of them convinced they’d be the one to make him want to stay, and all of them feeling the same disappointment or satisfaction when one failed. Then in comes a girl under a sponsorship by said extra rich kid’s father who then ends up dating each of them effectively removing them from the market, and meaning every single girl, generally all conventionally very attractive and whom most men would gladly keep as girlfriend, being ‘beaten’ as they saw it by someone with no assets.

So to put a long story short, while you weren't super torn up about not having an easy to explain family tree, you weren’t ready to deal with everyone’s response to that little tidbit. All of this led you to now, sitting with Laito as he brushed your hair listening to your predicament.

“Like whatever about the teacher getting weird, I’ll gladly take the free pass to ask for extra stuff. But you really made everything difficult. I can handle snide remarks from Hana, Aoi, and Emiko; they're mostly harmless. Yet, if they get it in their heads that I don’t have parents to cause any issues they might get worse.” You stopped to pick up some popcorn, holding your arm backwards to give Laito some. He took the opportunity to lick your fingers, snickering as you pulled your hand back, wiping it on your jeans.

“Don’t be nasty, I'm having a serious talk. I just… some of the 1st year girls were horrid to Subaru’s girlfriend just for finding out she had been at a boarding school. They cornered her in the bathroom and stuck gum in her hair. Gum! Like yeah me and the girls tore them a new one but…gum!”

Humming thoughtfully, Laito placed down the brush switching to running his fingers through your hair. He moved to rest his head on your shoulder, letting a comfortable silence sit over you while he thought of what to say.

“If you want, I can get you a family tree in full detail”

“How would you even do that, if you just make people up and anyone finds out then it's worse.”

“We could always make one~”

A pillow to the face shut that idea down, laughing as he fell backwards against the cushions while you were glaring at him.

“Be serious! What am I meant to do?”

Sitting back up, Laito took your hand pulling you up.

“Follow me.”

Walking through the manor, Laito took you to a less well maintained wing. Cobwebs littered the hallway and the wallpaper was peeling slightly in patches, there weren't any electrical lights either, only wall sconces with candles Laito lit as you walked by. Laito was silent for most of the journey, only giving a hand squeeze of reassurance whenever you caught his eye. You weren’t sure if the squeeze he gave passing a portrait of Cordelia was to reassure you or him, whenever you even heard of that woman it sent shivers down your spine.

Paintings became more common the further you walked, most were of adults with a vague similarity to Laito and his brothers, others were portraits of women in beautiful dresses with a characteristic pale visage. Finally stopping in front of a picture of three young boys with a signature red and purple haired look.

“This is the only painting or picture of me and any of my brothers together. Me and the other triplets don't argue as much as Shu and Reiji but we aren’t close,” he turned, taking your hands in his. “You have sisters, actual sisters who you have stories and pictures with. Anyone who disagrees, I will handle.”

“Gum in my hair Laito. It’s not a good look.” Laito sighs, pulling you close before you hear him mutter.

“Theirs will look worse when I cut it all off.”

Kanato Sakamaki

“Dolly, why are you in here?”

Turning to greet Kanato from where you sat in the quiet wing of the Sakamaki manor, placing your sketchbook back down beside you and making room for your boyfriend to sit nearby.

“I come here to sketch the portraits since I can’t get a good wifi connection to look up references. I really like this painting, it’s of you right?”

Kanato sat down looking up at the painting then to your sketch. It was different to the painting in many ways, the main difference being that it was a younger him alone with teddy. You had changed his posing too slightly to make him look less nervous. He was pinching his fingertips though, a sign he was uncomfortable that he picked up from the exercises he had copied you doing to help regulation. You could see he was struggling to find his wording. Scooting closer you placed a gentle hand on his shoulder to reassure him you cared and were listening.

“It’s pretty, but dolly I don’t like you being here.”

“Why Kanato? It’s nice here, nobody comes here to interrupt or be loud and there's all these pretty paintings. What’s wrong?” Continuing to play with his fingers, he moves closer to you turning to face you straight on.

“This is where…her room used to be. We have to leave me and Teddy hate it here.” Immediately you were filled with questions. While you knew Kanato, Ayato, and Laito killed their mother and have mixed feelings towards her, you had never seen Kanato spooked. It did explain why this area was not well maintained. You had to bring a brush with you during your first visits to the wing to remove some of the largest cobwebs and first from your seat. However, you had to admit that with the newfound knowledge that these halls were where your boyfriend had been tormented by his own mother for centuries it changed the atmosphere. Suddenly the quiet was now tense, the weathered appearance of the halls becoming creepy signs of lifetimes long since passed.

So you went along with Kanato’s instruction, returning to the more familiar manor where Reiji had familiars ensuring everything was organised and dustless. Following behind while mulling over the best way to approach this particular conversation. He led you to his room, sitting on his bed with your sketchbook and flipping through it. Pacing the path from his bedside locker to his balcony doors slowly, Kanato watched you. Around your fifth lap he gently grabbed your forearm guiding you to sit next to him, playing with the pages of your sketchbook. He turned to one of your favourites, you had drawn Kanato sitting in front of a backdrop of rose bushes. A small smile on his lips and a glint of childish glee in his eyes.

“I’m hanging this one up.”

“That one isn’t fully vanished, it's only a sketch.”

“But I like it, so it’s finished and I want it on my wall. And I want a matching one of you to go beside it.”

Sighing in acceptance you took his hand winding your fingers with his. It was probably better to shelf some questions anyway, while you were well past the stage of Kanato stabbing you with a fork for too many questions it was still not always easy to bring up sensitive topics.

Subaru Sakamaki

“Oi, idiot the car is outside. Are you ready to go or what?”

Grabbing your earrings and standing, you began walking over to your boyfriend in a new sundress and short heels for a lunch meeting with Christa at some new vampire restaurant she had taken a liking to. In the years following yours and Subaru’s relationship, both of you had begun to put work into helping both Subaru and his mother move forwards in their lives and reducing the impact their past traumas had on them. It was a slow and difficult progress with what felt like 100 steps back after every step forward but Christa had reached the point where her good days outnumbered her bad ones with the help of a team of specialists and patience.

Within the last half a year Christa had begun to travel short distances from her home, a fairly new cottage Subaru had built her close to the manor after we graduated from Ryoutei Academy. Today’s trip was to a cafe she had been to numerous times with her trusted hand maids, so it was an obvious choice for the first excursion you and Subaru were joining in on. On Subaru’s part you had nothing but admiration and pride for the strides he had taken, he still had periods of self doubt often linked to birthdays and when his father was involved. However, such episodes were short and he had grown into more healthy responses to these thoughts, that still didn’t reduce his worries when interacting with his mother in environments that could trigger an episode. It took reassurances from Christa and her therapist to show that there was a set of precautions to ensure her safety before he agreed to this lunch.

That brought you to today, where your boyfriend adjusted the collar of his pale grey shirt and looked at you with eyes that clearly showed his trepidation about this trip. Looping your arm around his as you made your way to the car you offered reassurance.

“She’s been looking forward to this lunch, she goes there every week at this point it's basically the same as when we have dinner with her.”

“The first time we had dinner with her she started screaming at your halfway through thinking you were a thief, before she tried to cut your hair off.”

“That’s not a fair comparison and you know it. Christa has found medicines that work and worked with Dr. Estelle for years now.”

“You know she wants you to call her mum.”

“She’ll be mum when you get on the ring choosing we both agreed last time at dinner remember. She even offered to help you plan everything.”

Grunting, he looked away squeezing your arm while opening the passenger side door of his porsche. The ride was mostly quiet with you running your shared spotify playlist with Subaru mentioning concerns for you to counter with considerations made to address them. Once you arrived at the cafe Subaru relaxed quickly seeing Christa behaving normally.

As always, you were greeted with hugs and excited interrogations as to the going ons of your life since your last visit. Christa had been so kind as to give recommendations based on your individual tastes, having an excellent grasp on the menu. She was also so kind as to bring an album of photos her staff had made of Subaru growing up to allow her to feel more included in his life while locked in that tower.

“Oh my goodness! He looks so cute here, when was this one?”

You pointed to a photo of a roughly 8 year old Subaru sitting on a wooden table licking a spoon covered in some batter. Smudges of the batter were on his cheeks and shirt as a fire was lit in the background. It was a cosy image and something you had seen Subaru do before. Anytime you baked anything he insisted on spoon cleaning duty to ‘make it easier to clean’.

“Ah, one of my ladies in waiting had that painted after she heard me talking about how happy I was during that visit.”

“I love it, Subaru was such a cute kid!”

“I don’t see what's so cute, I’m just stuffing my face there.”

“Oh shish Subaru. She’s right, you were an adorable kid with cute little cheeks.” To emphasise her point she pinched his cheeks while cooing at him. Subaru only scowled in response, but it held no actual malice behind his glare.

While leaving the cafe, after nearly 5 hours of catching up, Christa pulled you aside to give you the picture claiming she had hundreds more. During the drive home Subaru kept looking at you admiring the photo.

“You can always take pictures of me ya now. You don’t need to use a kid photo of me for that.”

“I have photos of you, I just like this one, it's special.”

“You’re such a weird woman.”

“Would you have me any other way?”

#diabolik lovers #diabolik lovers imagine #reiji sakamaki #shu sakamaki #ayato sakamaki #laito sakamaki #kanato sakamaki #subaru sakamaki #shu sakamaki x reader #reiji sakamaki x reader #laito sakamaki x reader #ayato sakamaki x reader #kanato sakamaki x reader #subaru sakamaki x reader #diabolik lovers headcanon #diabolik boys

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pix3lplays · 1 year

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so uhmm im really love the hsr being fathers like damn i love it so much so uhm can the readers child like cuaght the hsr griefing over our death and the child comforts them? can it be the same guys from before? *virtual hug* tysm

*Virtual hug back* yes, let’s do it!!!

More Hsr men being fathers hehe

Part of this!

-Honkai Star Rail men grieving reader when their child comforts them-

Dan Heng: Dan Heng is going through your records in the archives, his child in his lap, sleeping peacefully, at first. It is late at night. Dan Heng can’t help it, rereading your files, on the fifth anniversary of your death…it brings tears to his eyes. He accidentally wakes up his kid, who looks up at him with those big eyes that look just like yours.

“Dad? Are you okay?”

“I’m…I’m fine,” Dan Heng reassures his child, stroking their hair a bit while he tries to stifle his tears.

“You’re crying though…”

“No, no, I’m not,” he insists, wiping his tears away and giving a warm smile to his kid. “It’s late. It’s time for bed…”

His kid yawns, protests just a little bit, before promptly falling asleep in his lap again. And he scoops them up and takes them to bed, thinking of what it’d be like to do this parenting thing with you by his side, and not alone. But it’s okay. You’re gone, he needs to accept that. He’s doing this for you, and for his kid.

Welt Yang: is looking through an old sketchbook he had started with you, looking back at your cute, amateurish doodles next to his, that you would draw when he wasn’t looking. And they had always made his day to see you’ve broken into his sketchbook to add a few additions of your own.

“You look sad, Dad,” he hears the little voice of his child, looks up. He hadn’t heard them walk in front of him. “Why are you sad?”

“Not sad, just…nostalgic,” Welt corrects. Okay. Maybe he was a little sad, and missing you. But he’d still use the word ‘nostalgic’ over sad.

“Come look with me,” is what he says, and he sits his little kid on the cushion next to him and holds out the sketchbook.

They go through the sketchbook, and the word ‘sad’ seems to grow a little bigger for him. Yeah. He was sad. He missed you so much. Missed your doodles in his sketchbooks. Wished you were here to help him raise your child. But you weren’t. And that was OK. That happens.

And to be honest, sharing your sketches with your kid was beginning to make him feel a little more relaxed.

Jing Yuan: is stressed out in his office. He’s swamped with work but all that’s on his brain is the anniversary of your death. He thought pushing through and going to work would help him get through it. Thought that it’d be better to be productive than cooped up in the house and mourning. Well, he was wrong for the first time in a while. He always did make bad judgements when it came to you…you always did distract him.

He’s pulled from his thoughts by the sound of tiny footsteps running his way. And he’s met with his kid, excitedly holding a drawing they’ve done.

The kid suddenly screeches to a halt, and Jing Yuan observed them with confusion for a second.

“Dad!? Are you crying?”

“Hm? Oh…I suppose I am…” and he wipes away his own tears, apologizing.

“What are you crying about?”

“I miss someone…”

“Who?”

“Someone dear to both of us…but let’s not worry about that, let me see that drawing of yours…”

And the issue is immediately forgotten by the child, who excitedly shows their dad their most recent creation. It’s good for him, he thinks, to have such young and precious life around him. Helps him keep his mind off the pain of losing you.

Sampo Koski: Didn’t really have a lot of time to grieve you. He was suddenly thrust into parenthood as soon as you were dead, after all…But business was slow today, and he could get home early, and spend some time thinking about his dead lover and the child you left behind for him to deal with.

He’s in the kitchen, pouring himself a drink, when his kid comes home from playing with the neighborhood kids all day. The life of a kid, even in a place like the Underworld, was just too easy, he thinks to himself bitterly, sipping at his drink.

“Dad…you…okay?” his kid asks quietly.

“Yeah…yeah just thinking.”

“You need anything?”

Was his kid always this considerate? They reminded him of you.

“No. Thank you…”

His kid smiles, gives him a thumbs up, and runs to their room. And oddly enough, Sampo feels a little better.

Gepard Landau: Gepard is looking through an old photo album he made with you, before you…passed. He’s crying. He doesn’t realize he’s crying while he looks at a photo of the two of you on your wedding day.

“Dad?” he hears. And he looks away from the photo album suddenly, and down at where his kid is.

“Yes?” he tries, trying his best to sound calm and quiet and in control, and not like he was just crying.

“Want to…play with me? It might make you feel better?” his kid suggests, holding out a stuffed animal.

“Oh, kiddo, I-” but the more he thinks about it, the better the idea sounds. “Alright. Let’s do that. It sounds fun.” He let’s his kid drag him to the floor so they can play with stuffed animals, and the pain of using you fades just a bit for the moment.

Luocha: Luocha is working. Working restlessly. He’s always working. But tonight he misses you, misses you a little more than usual tonight. He grips his necklace tight. Keeps working. When there’s a sudden knock at his door. “Father?” a little voice calls.

Luocha sighs, doesn’t realize how shaky his voice is til he replies. “Come in.”

His kid steps in, looks surprised, because their father was clearly crying and Father Never cried.

“What do you want?” Luocha asks, wiping at his eyes. His kid comes over, puts their little hands on his knee.

“Please stop crying Father…”

“I know, I’m trying…”

“It’s my bedtime.”

“Ah, so it is…want me to tuck you in?”

“Yeah…”

“Alright, fine.”

Luocha doesn’t usually tuck his kid into bed. But tonight he needed the distraction. He takes his kid to their room, tucks them into bed. The tears have stopped. He feels a little at peace, acting like a normal father, tucking his kid into bed.

You’re still on his mind of course, but at least he’s not crying over you anymore. Tears were pointless anyways, they didn’t help anything. It’s not like you were gone forever anyways. He was going to bring you back.

Blade: it’s been some time since your passing, and Blade has been resisting the need to grieve way too hard. It was unhealthy. Finally Kafka strictly told him he’d better go to your grave and get anything remaining out. And he reluctantly agreed, not aware his kid was following behind him…

He just…waits quietly at your grave, watching over it like a silent protector when he suddenly feels a tug at his pant leg. And when he looks down…lo and behold his child had followed him to the grave.

“What are you doing, Dad?” the child asks with big, innocent eyes.

“I’m…visiting…” is what he manages to say, before gesturing to your gravestone.

“Oh…” the kid says, not really understanding, but knowing that this is a quiet and serious moment. “Okay…”

And father and child keep watch quietly together over your grave, and it actually makes Blade feel a little bit better to be doing this with his kid. It’s just a Little bit more bearable.

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #my writing #Dan Heng #Dan Heng x reader #Welt Yang #Welt Yang x reader #Jing Yuan #Jing Yuan x reader #Sampo Koski #Sampo Koski x reader #Gepard Landau #Gepard Landau x reader #Luocha #Luocha x reader #Blade #Blade x reader

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fuckyeahmarkgatiss · 1 year

Text

The recent Times article on Mark & Ian

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/mark-gatiss-and-ian-hallard-i-asked-him-to-marry-me-the-afternoon-we-met-339v55jw2

The article is behind a paywall but I still had some access so here you all are!

Mark Gatiss & Ian Hallard: ‘I proposed on the afternoon we met.’

The League of Gentleman star and his actor husband on dating at the dawn of the internet and coming out to their parents.

Mark

Ian and I met online back in 1999, long before Grindr, when online dating still had a certain stigma attached to it. “Poor you! You can’t find anyone in the real world, so you have to go scrabbling around on the internet.” I didn’t tell my family how we’d met for several years.

You also have to remember that gay men didn’t necessarily go on dates in search of eternal happiness. Dates were fun and exciting. So, when we met in the glamorous surroundings of Finsbury Park Tube station and went back to my flat, I didn’t think it was anything serious. But it was. Ian loves to tell people that I asked him to marry me that afternoon. With hindsight I think I was probably joking, but I certainly had high hopes: “Maybe he’s ‘the one’.”

Having said that, it did take a while to get used to the idea of being a couple. All my previous relationships had sort of … fizzled out. With Ian it was the opposite; we seemed to grow closer and closer. We’ve even collaborated on several projects and I’m directing his first play at the moment [the Abba-inspired The Way Old Friends Do, which Ian wrote and stars in], but there’s never been any sense of rivalry. We get asked if it’s difficult living and working together, but why would it be a problem to spend time with the person you love?

I grew up in a working-class town near Durham, my dad worked at the pit. Telling people you were gay in that situation wasn’t easy. I came out to my friends when I was 15 and there were a few comments at school, but I was never bullied. The real problem for me in the Seventies and early Eighties was that I had no idea what to do about being gay.

Apart from the occasional storyline in [the drama series] Play for Today, the only gay men on TV were John Inman and Larry Grayson. I play Larry in the new TV drama Nolly [about Noele Gordon, a star of the soap Crossroads] and understand why John and Larry were regarded as torchbearers. But some gay activists in the Seventies saw them as the enemy: screamingly gay, but at the same time a sort of neutered Saturday-night camp.

Somehow I managed to put off telling my parents to the point where my mam was the one who brought it up. I was home from university and she simply asked me. It was a huge relief. I said, “Hadn’t we better tell Dad?” Mam looked at me. “Oh no! It’ll kill him.” So we didn’t.

A couple of weeks later I was talking to Mam on the phone and she said, “I told your dad. Ooh, we had some snow overnight.” Initially I thought that had saved me from having to talk to him about it, but it had just been popped at the back of a drawer.

Dad struggled at first, but considering his background it could have been a lot worse. Although it was a bit awkward when he met Ian, we never had “issues”. Sadly we lost him in 2021. The weird thing is that as he got older he became much more tolerant. Even after he lost Mam — his loneliness seemed to soothe his prejudices. He understood that love is where it falls.

It sounds like a complete cliché to say, “We make each other laugh all the time,” but it’s absolutely true. Our shared sense of humour has become the glue that has bonded us. Ian’s definitely more together than me when it comes to admin, and I’m pretty sure he did most of the organising when we had our civil partnership in 2008. The main problem is that, left to our own devices, we can be as bad as each other. We make all these grand plans, then we decide to take Bob [the labrador] for a walk instead.

Ian and I did have a brief period of broodiness, then we quickly realised that neither of us was responsible enough, so we got a dog. The ideal scenario would be that a fully formed, well-educated, extremely polite grown-up knocks on our door and declares that they are the fruit of my overeager teenage loins. We get to be parents without the hard work!

The couple in 1999, the year they met

Ian

Remember when Stelios from easyJet started his internet cafés? Without Stelios I wouldn’t have met Mark. I didn’t have the internet at my flat in London, so I would go to a Stelios café every day to check emails and log on to gay.com. Back then online dating didn’t involve pictures; it was just messages and a phone call. When Mark and I finally clapped eyes on each other, there was that awful moment of tension, trying to decide if we fancied each other. If not, I guess we would have headed off on our separate ways.

Mark was only the second man I’d made contact with online and the first one I’d met. I did sort of recognise him because The League of Gentlemen had been on telly, but I hadn’t actually seen it. That was probably a good thing. Had I been a massive fan, I’m not sure things would have worked out.

Mark’s career has taken a different trajectory to mine. He has been involved in a lot of high-profile projects and around the time of Sherlock [Gatiss was co-creator, co-writer and appeared as Holmes’s brother, Mycroft] things did go a bit crazy. That one-sided success can cause havoc in a relationship, especially with actors — lots of arguments and jealousy. Some relationships seem to thrive on that constant drama. Not us! I’ve never seen Mark have an argument with anyone. He’s unfailingly polite to the point of diffidence.

I hit my teens when TV was full of adverts about Aids — huge icebergs, tombstones. My parents were your typical easy-going, middle-class Brummies. There was no hint of homophobia but, in that climate, you can see why they might be concerned about having a gay son. What kind of future did I have? I was either going to die of Aids or kill myself out of loneliness and depression.

When I eventually told them I’d met someone and talked about bringing him home to meet them, they were very happy. I told them he was in this fantastic programme called The League of Gentlemen and proudly told them it had won a Bafta. Unfortunately they decided to watch it. They saw this collection of psychopaths and monsters and thought, “What’s he got himself involved with? Is it a cult?” Mum rang me up and said, “Please tell me it’s not him who plays that weirdo Mickey.” I paused for a second and then said, “Yes, Mum, that’s the man I’m going to marry.”

The Way Old Friends Do, Lyceum, Sheffield, Tue-Sat; Park Theatre, London N4, Mar 15-Apr 15; and touring until Jun 10; thewayoldfriendsdo.com

Strange habits

Mark on Ian

He’s incapable of keeping his side of the bed tidy. I call his pile of dirty clothes “the Bedroom Monster”

Ian on Mark

He worries about us travelling in the same car in case something happens to us both and Bob becomes an orphan

#Mark Gatiss #Ian Hallard #adorable husbands #the way old friends do #recent article

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velidewrites · 1 year

Text

The Holiday

When two sisters with a terrible taste in men (or is it?) decide to swap houses for the holidays, they don't expect to fall in love.

But guess what?

They do.

Pairings: Elucien, Feysand, background Jassa

Word Count: 8.5k

Warnings: A bit of spice ;)

Notes: This was written for my FAVOURITE @vulpes-fennec for the @acotargiftexchange! I hope you enjoy this fic inspired by the iconic movie "The Holiday" (my god was Jude Law hot in this one). Thank you so much to the amazing mods for organising this event. Merry Christmas everyone!

Read on AO3

Elain Archeron adored Christmas. The bright, golden lights shimmering from every corner of New York City, the sound of song and laughter on the streets, the scent of freshly baked cinnamon rolls filling her small bakery as she pulled them out of the oven.

Truly, there was nothing quite like it.

She wished her sisters were with her, though. Yes, they each had their own lives now, yet Elain couldn’t help but miss the old days—when there wasn’t a thing in life they had to worry about but the continuous presence of Feyre’s bright paint on her and Nesta’s clothes, paint that had somehow managed to find its way onto the fabric despite their younger sister’s adamant protests and rather theatric displays of shock and confusion.

Elain sighed. This Christmas would mark two years since she had last seen Feyre. There would be the wedding in spring, of course—but April was months away, and Elain had nearly gone insane last year when Nesta cancelled last minute and Feyre made it clear she was not coming. It had been a miserable holiday, and Elain shuddered at the prospect of ever having to spend it in solitude again. New York, while certainly beautiful at Christmastime, had a cruel way of sometimes making her feel lonelier than ever.

She supposed she had Greysen, now. As for Nesta…

Her phone vibrated in the small pocket of her apron, and Elain wiped the cinnamon off her hands, the fragrant streaks of the spice staining the cream white fabric.

Are you busy? Nesta’s name appeared above the message.

I’m about to open the shop, Elain typed her reply. I was just thinking about you. How come you’re awake? It was nearing six in the morning in Los Angeles, and while Nesta had always been an early bird, getting up before the sunrise seemed almost too dreadful to accept.

Working on a case, or, more specifically, this dickhead of a prosecutor. If he thinks I’m going to let my client go for the shit deal, he’s got another thing coming.

Elain smiled. I almost feel bad for the poor guy.

Well, you shouldn’t, Nesta answered. Anyway. Got a minute?

Sparing a quick glance at the clock hanging above the large coffee menu, Elain asked. What’s up?

It was unlikely for Nesta to devote so much of her time to a conversation, let alone a text exchange, and frankly, Elain was getting worried.

The reply arrived in an instant. Feyre left her fiancé last night.

Elain’s eyes widened, and without thinking, she dialled Nesta’s number.

“You know I hate talking over the phone,” her sister said in a manner of greeting.

“Well, you hate texting too, and there are way too many questions in my head for my fingers to catch up anyway, so deal with it,” Elain said. “What happened? How do you even know?”

A brief pause. “She texted me for legal advice. Apparently, the asshole wants to keep the house.”

Elain’s brows furrowed. “Didn’t Feyre buy it under her name?”

Nesta sighed. “Don’t even get me started.”

Neither of them had ever had the chance to meet Tamlin, and from what she was hearing, Elain decided it had perhaps been for the best. “Do you know why she left him?”

“I don’t,” Nesta said. “Feyre didn’t tell me. She only asked me this one thing and when I asked her more questions, she just left me on read.”

Elain chewed on her bottom lip, mulling over the words before she spoke again. “Maybe I should call her. Or text, at the very least.”

Another sigh. “I don’t know, Elain. She seemed like she could use some privacy.”

“Surely we can’t leave her to deal with this alone?”

“I don’t know,” Nesta repeated, papers rustling in the background. Elain winced at the sound, the unpleasant pitch scratching at her ear. “I need to get back to work now, Elain. Let me know what you decide do,” her sister added, and then the call was over.

Elain suppressed the urge to scoff, though her focus was quickly reoriented to the time again as she spotted a noticeable queue gathering outside. Whatever she decided to do, she would deal with it later. First—work.

With a smile on her face, Elain opened the door.

***

Elain had been dating Greysen for six months, though she felt as though they’d been together at least five years. Only a short walk away, he was always there to offer his company, in whatever way she’d need him. Greysen was so…familiar.

This year would mark their first Christmas together, and though Elain had no expectations, it was only natural for her to have hopes.

She wouldn’t mind a proposal. A proposal meant stability in her hectic world, a source of comfort in a trying time. If Greysen asked, she would say yes. She would. Happily.

With that thought in mind, Elain placed her keys on the counter, her other hand grabbing the carefully wrapped cinnamon rolls she’d put aside earlier this morning.

“Will you be able to close up tonight?” she asked Nuala. “I have to drop these off at the office.”

The office. She liked that world. It made her feel as though she was part of Greysen’s world—his other world, one that did not revolve around her. If she was being honest, she knew very little about her boyfriend’s professional life—he worked in investments, he’d told her as much, though he’d also added the “details would bore her.” And so, Elain remained blissfully oblivious.

At the very least, paying him a surprise visit would mean she got to see him in a suit. Greysen looked good in suits.

“Sure,” Nuala’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts. “Are we still on for Saturday?”

Elain nodded. “Of course. I’m so excited to meet your sister”

Nuala smiled tentatively. She hadn’t been working at Elain’s bakery for too long, though in that time, the two of them had managed to build a close bond. Elain enjoyed her company, quiet and with an aura of peace. Nuala blended in perfectly with Elain’s little corner of the world. “She can’t wait, either,” the woman said.

“I still can’t believe you have a twin.” Elain shook her head. “Does it make it any easier?”

The corner of Nuala’s mouth twitched. “Twins or not, sisters are always a pain.”

Elain sighed. “Tell me about it.”

“I’ll see you Saturday.”

***

Greysen’s office was only ten minutes away.

Their pastry drop-off had an unspoken routine—the concierge would let Elain in, she’d then take the elevator to the fifteenth floor to be greeted by the secretary. From then, depending on whether Greysen was in a meeting or not, Elain would either leave the food at the reception or deliver it personally—with a little extra treat that was hardly appropriate for a serious office. She didn’t care. She’d shaved her legs last night and she wouldn’t let her new lotion go to waste.

Silence greeted her as she entered the office, the distant ringing of the phone breaking it occasionally with a high-pitched, irritating beep.

It was unusual for it to be this empty, but Greysen was definitely out there somewhere—he’d sent her a text earlier in the morning, after all, wishing her a great day and not to wait for him with dinner. He’d be working late again and there was no need for Elain to hang around her apartment with a cold meal.

A few cinnamon rolls would make a nice gesture, though. Greysen would know she was thinking about him and his wellbeing without imposing her presence on him too much. And so, Elain circled around the reception and walked straight into her boyfriend’s office.

She did not expect to find him half naked with the secretary bent over his desk.

For a moment, Elain said nothing, the pastries crushed on the floor somewhere by her feet.

Their eyes met, and Greysen open his mouth.

“We’re done,” Elain told him, proud to have kept her voice steady enough not to reveal the slight tremble of her jaw. She tore her eyes away from the sight and turned on her feet.

“Elain!” Greysen’s voice called behind her.

She did not grace him with an answer. In a few short steps, she walked out of the room, shutting the door with a loud bang.

And then, she was gone.

***

Elain had gotten so used to staying at Greysen’s apartment that her own home felt like a stranger’s. Too dark and too empty, the space only accompanied by the sound of sirens that had usually accompanied the New York City landscape.

She set the cinnamon rolls on the counter, promising herself not to look at them until the next morning. She would deal with them—with him—later. Right now, Feyre needed her—or at least, she hoped she did. Elain could not bear spending the evening on the couch by herself, with nothing better to do but dwell in the events of the day.

Pulling her phone out of her purse, Elain sat at the small desk in the corner and typed in her sister’s name.

Hey. I know it’s late, but I want you to know I’m here if you need someone to talk to.

It was nearing midnight in London, though Elain had a feeling Feyre wouldn’t be sleeping. Breakup or not, she had always been more nocturnal, opting to paint under the pale moonlight. Her painting of the night sky over New York still hung over Elain’s dresser.

Her phone beeped a minute later. I’m awake.

Elain held her breath, staring at the notification until the screen turned blurry. What, exactly, do you say to someone who was just about to be married?

I heard what happened.

Pathetic.

The phone beeped again. Nesta?

She’s worried about you, Elain replied. We both are.

She could practically feel Feyre’s loud sigh, as if her sister was standing right beside her. I hate men.

Elain almost laughed. I’m right there with you.

Feyre’s message came only a few seconds later. Did something happen?

Elain fought the urge to bang her head against the table. She cursed herself for being so selfish—Feyre’s situation was much worse than her own, and yet, Elain somehow managed to direct the topic to herself. It’s nothing. Really.

Like Feyre would ever buy that.

Sure enough, her sister’s name appeared on the screen, the loud buzzing of the phone on her desk breaking the dreadful silence. Elain closed her eyes, letting out a deep breath before answering.

“It’s really nothing, Feyre.”

“I don’t care,” Feyre’s voice, a tinge distorted by the static, came through the speaker. “If it’s two men we’re shit-talking tonight, so be it. It might make me feel better, actually.”

“Alright,” Elain said, then grimaced as her own voice echoed through the call. “God, your service must be terrible.”

“I live in the middle of nowhere, Elain,” Feyre said. “I’m standing on a dining room chair just to try and catch some signal.”

Elain chuckled. “How is it there?”

She knew Feyre had moved to the outskirts of London, thought that was about the extent of her knowledge. The only thing Feyre would ever send her—apart from the one singular photo of the Big Ben from when she’d taken a trip to the city—was the stuffed deer head hanging above her fireplace with the caption: “Gross.” Tamlin, it seemed, was a hunter—a hobby Feyre had not been particularly fond of.

“I feel like I’m going insane,” Feyre finally said. “It’s too…quiet.”

Elain sighed. “That sounds like a dream.”

She imagined a stone cottage, just on the outskirts of London, and in front of it, a small rose orchard, glistening under a thick layer of snow. The thought was so overwhelmingly serene that for a brief moment, Elain could almost feel the warmth of Feyre’s home hugging her skin.

“Well, it isn’t,” Feyre said. “I miss New York, you know. Everything seemed so simple there.”

If only that, Elain thought bitterly.

“You should come, you know,” Elain said. “It would be nice to spend Christmas with you. It’s been too long.”

For a moment, neither of them said anything. “I take it Greysen is out of the picture,” Feyre finally guessed.

Elain’s jaw clenched. “It’s probably for the best.”

She flinched as her phone buzzed again, displaying Greysen’s name, a small heart emoji still next to it. She’d delete it later. “Speak of the devil. He’s calling me right now.”

“Do not answer,” Feyre instructed. “I made that mistake already, and believe me, whatever they have to say, it won’t change a thing.”

Elain ran her hand through the long waves of her hair. “I hate it here.”

Her sister huffed a laugh. “I know how you feel. I…I wish I could get away sometimes. If only for a bit.”

The thought came so suddenly Elain might have swayed off her chair. “We could switch,” she said absently, her mind running through the logistics of the idea.

“What?”

“We could switch places,” Elain repeated. It felt as though someone had turned on the light in her brain. “Think about it. You move into my place, and I move into yours. It’s brilliant.”

Feyre’s tone indicated she thought the exact opposite. “Elain, I can’t just move out of England.”

“It would only be for Christmas. We could both get the escape we need, and you’d have the chance to see the city again.”

“Elain, I can’t,” Feyre insisted. “I have an exhibition on New Year’s Eve, its this big name London gallery. It has to go perfectly. I have to work.”

“Exhibition?” It wasn’t that Feyre was not talented—she was, truly— but the last Elain had heard of Feyre’s work, she’d still been struggling to find an audience.

“Someone—an anonymous patron, I think—has found my art online and arranged the exhibit. All expenses paid. I have to work,” she repeated.

Elain was growing more desperate with each second. “You could work here,” she pleaded. “I have enough space for you to work on your art and enjoy the city in the meantime. We’d switch back before New Year’s Eve.”

Feyre did not sound fully convinced. “I don’t know…”

“Please, Feyre. For both our sake’s.”

Elain held her breath as she waited for an answer.

“Alright,” Feyre agreed.

Elain squealed, and Feyre laughed in the background. “God, I hate it when you make that sound,” her sister said.

“Thank you, Feyre. You won’t regret this.”

“I’ll call you in the morning to discuss the details. I feel like I need to sleep after this, and my legs are getting sore from standing on the chair.”

Elain laughed again, and the two said their goodbyes. Releasing a long breath of relief, Elain opened her contacts and searched for another name.

Nuala, please don’t hate me, she typed onto her screen. But I’m going to have to reschedule.

***

The moment she stepped out of the cab, Elain decided to take back every single word she cursed London Heathrow with.

Yes, the airport had been busy—an understatement, really—but she’d go through pushing through the crowds for two hours straight all over again if it meant not having to walk a mile in the cold snow. In heels.

What dark, sadistic forced had prompted her to wear heels for a ten hour journey, she’d never know. Well, she did know, actually. She had just started reading a book about an airport meet cute and thought, well, if it happened to her, who says it won’t happen to me?

It didn’t.

Just like Feyre had said, her sister truly did live in the middle of nowhere. The driver stopped at what seemed like the middle of a forest, the path in front of them too narrow for the car to fit in. Elain had almost cried when he told her to walk the rest of the way on foot, cocking his head to the side with an apologetic “sorry, love.”

The good news was that she was almost there and Feyre had a fireplace. She’d curl up in front of it, finish her book, and then go straight into bed to fight off her jet lag. There were four days left until Christmas Day—she had time to figure everything else out.

A few extremely wet steps later, Elain reached her destination.

Rosebud Cottage was a dream come true.

It looked as though it had been pulled straight out of Elain’s memory—the snow-clad orchard out front, the cobblestone pathway leading up to the red front door. Feyre, it seemed, had hung up a wreath to greet her, and Elain smiled at the thoughtful gesture. Doing her best not to slip on the icy stones, Elain pulled the keys from underneath the doormat, taking a mental note to school her sister on burglars and responsibility—though, she supposed, no one would actually bother to go this far for a robbery, no matter how many riches the house contained within.

Having fought with the door lock for about a minute (why do British people do everything the other way around?), Elain finally walked in.

The journey had been worth it.

Though it wasn’t much bigger than her own studio apartment, the house radiated warmth.

A fluffy couch gathered around the old English fireplace with two armchairs of red velvet on each side, making up a cozy living room that connected to the small kitchen. With cabinets of a light green and wooden countertops, it called out Elain’s name louder than any kitchen she’d ever stepped into. Abandoning her suitcase by the door, she moved to explore the pantry, her tiredness long forgotten in favour of the inviting prospect of baking fresh bread in such a beautiful space.

How disappointing it was to find art supplies there instead.

It was then that she truly began noticing Feyre’s presence in the house. The kitchen cabinets, immaculate at first sight, had paint splattered on them in the most peculiar places. The bookcase, standing proudly in the back, full of art history books and manuals. The violet handprint on the balustrade, surely from when Feyre had decided to take a break from painting upstairs and had clearly forgotten to wash her hands.

Her gaze moved back to the fireplace, and Elain’s brows furrowed. She reached for her phone, opening the conversation between her and her sister. The last text was from Feyre, announcing her arrival at Elain’s place about two hours ago.

Where’s the deer? Elain asked.

The reply came almost immediately. I buried it.

Elain laughed.

***

Feyre Archeron was finally home.

She wasn’t usually the crying type, though upon seeing the New York City skyline, she had to admit her chest had swelled a little bit. It had been too long.

Unpacking took her ages, and by the time she was finally done, it was already late and dark outside. She quickly did the math, and, by London standards, it was already way past midnight for her—one last bag to go, Feyre promised herself, and she would go to bed.

A grimace twisted her features as she realised she’d have to wake up early in the morning to open up Elain’s bakery—the only favour Elain had asked her of, really, so she couldn’t be as bitter about it as she perhaps would have wanted. Her sister’s friend, Nuala, would arrive an hour later to take over. Then, Feyre would be free to explore.

Her face lit up at the realisation that the last bag contained her art supplies—along with the newest brushes that had managed to arrive the day before she was due to leave for New York. She made way to set up her painting station by the window, hoping to get some daylight the next day, short as it was during winter. Setting the bag down carefully, she looked out the window and up to the stars.

Feyre’s breath caught in her chest.

She picked up a brush and began painting.

***

The bakery had only been open for five minutes when the small bell at the door announced the arrival of a customer.

In the back, hands covered in four she’d accidentally spilled, Feyre quickly wiped it off on her jeans, immediately cursing herself for her foolishness. She had most definitely left white handprints on her ass.

“Just a minute!” she shouted, wiping her hands frantically on her (also black) shirt this time before realising she was absolutely making it worse.

With a sigh, she ran a hand through her hair, the powder falling into the strands and onto the floor.

“Shit!,” she swore, finally managing to grab hold of a kitchen towel, hanging—of course—on the wall right beside her.

“You alright there?” a rich voice, definitely British and definitely male, reached her from the front of the shop.

Opting not to look at the small mirror in the corner, Feyre gave up on any attempts to sort herself out, and made her way out.

“Sorry, I…” she began before her gaze finally met his.

Standing before her was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen.

Tall and wearing an all-black suit—who wore suits at eight thirty in the morning?—he had an air of confidence around him, hands resting nonchalantly in his pockets. A briefcase hung over a broad, muscular chest, and Feyre had never hated shirts more than in that exact moment. The man was ridiculously good-looking—but his eyes…

His eyes had captivated her.

So deeply blue they seemed almost violet, shining with curiosity as they measured her in full.

“What happened back there?” he asked, and damn him, he had a nice voice.

Forcing on a shred of composure, Feyre crossed her arms. “Running a bakery isn’t as easy as you’d think, you know.”

The corner of his mouth ticked up. “I’m sure. Except I know this isn’t your bakery, and Elain isn’t here."

Feyre’s brows knotted. “You know Elain?”

“You could say I’m somewhat of a regular.”

“Oh?”

“I always stop here for a coffee before work,” he explained.

“Right. Let me guess, all black, no sugar?” Feyre guessed.

He smirked. “Only if you insist.”

If it came from anyone else, she might have rolled her eyes. But this man…it was unfair, really. “Takeaway?” she asked instead.

“Yes. Large, please,” he added. “I’ve got a long day ahead.”

Feyre got started on the coffee, though her gaze remained locked on the sight before her. “And what is it that you do?”

Why the hell would she even ask?

The man smiled broadly now, a self-satisfied smirk that told her he thoroughly enjoyed her personal questions. “Investments.”

Her eyes narrowed. “That could mean anything.”

“Perhaps I could tell you more,” he said. “Over a cup of coffee.”

Placing a lid on top, Feyre handed him the cup. “Here. Is that cup good enough?”

His smile turned feline. “Clever,” he praised.

“I’m Feyre,” she said before she could stop herself.

His fingers brushed her own as he took the coffee from her hand. “Rhysand."

***

Elain spent her second day in England completely and utterly bored.

She’d woken up to sixteen missed calls from Greysen, and immediately decided she needed to distract herself. It turned out there weren’t many distractions in the small village Feyre lived in.

She’d gone to the supermarket around lunchtime, having finished her book right after breakfast. Baking supplies, mostly—she had to entertain herself somehow. And so, she’d spent the rest of the afternoon with her hands full in dough, making a point not to use cinnamon in any of her inventions.

Hours later, it was nearing midnight, the house smelled like bread, and Elain had no idea what to do.

Why am I even here?

It was a stupid idea to come. What did she think she would get here? Peace and quiet? It had only been a day, and she already had enough of that. Silence, as it turned out, did not do anything for a raging mind.

Greysen had left her a couple of voicemails, but Elain hadn’t listened to any of them. Time, she decided. She needed time to process this.

Still, it would have been nice to have someone to process it with.

Maybe she didn’t belong here. Maybe the life she’d had in New York was the best the world had to offer her. Maybe escaping hadn’t been the right option. Maybe…maybe Greysen deserved a second chance.

Elain unlocked her phone and entered Greysen’s number.

A loud bang on the door almost knocked it out her hands.

Wrapping the blanket tighter around her, Elain got up from the couch and made her way to open the door.

She was greeted with the sight of a very drunk man.

Bright, russet eyes narrowed on her a bit absently. “You’re not Feyre,” he noted.

Elain lifted a brow. “A keen observation.” The man snorted. “Who are you?” she asked.

The man leaned over in a mocking bow. “Apologies, my lady. My name is Lucien.”

Despite herself, the corners of Elain’s mouth twitched. “That tells me nothing, you know.”

He sighed in resignation. “It hurts that she never mentioned me, you know.”

“An honest mistake, I’m sure.”

“We’re friends. She moved in here shortly after I did.”

Elain angled her head. “I see.”

The man looked at her expectantly. “And you are…?”

“Oh, sorry,” she straightened a little bit. “I’m Elain. Feyre’s older sister.”

His face lit up straight away. “Of course you are. You look similar, you know. Well, under certain angles…”

A laugh escaped her this time, and Elain asked. “Why are you here, Lucien?”

Lucien leaned on the doorframe with another deep sigh. “I’m so sorry, Elain, Feyre told me she was going back to New York for a bit, but it completely slipped my mind. She lets me crash on the couch here every now and then.”

“Oh,” Elain said before the realisation hit her. “Oh. Well, I…”

“No, no, it’s all good. It’s my bad, honestly,” Lucien explained. “I’ll be on my way.”

“No, wait, I…” Elain hesitated. She couldn’t leave him out in the cold, could she? There was no doubt in her mind that Lucien was not in the right state to walk home by himself. “I suppose you could stay. I don’t mind, really.”

Lucien waved a hand. “I don’t want to be an imposition,” he insisted, swaying on his feet a little.

Elain laughed again. “Just come in.”

Lucien offered her a lazy smile. “How could I say no to a lady like this?”

And damn him, Elain blushed.

***

Lucien passed out on the couch the second he stepped over the doorway, and Elain had decided it was best to just leave him there.

Now, in the morning, she made her way back down as she heard a noise coming from the kitchen—a clear sign her unexpected guest was awake and searching for a hangover cure.

The first thing she noticed was a flash of long, red hair. And then, Lucien turned to face her. “Good morning,” he greeted, a tentative smile playing on his handsome features.

Shit. She did not remember him looking this good last night.

“Hi,” she said, straightening the sleeves of her sweater. Of course now that he was sober, she had to wear one of her uglier, Christmas themed ones that she just so happened to also sleep in. Great first impression, really.

“I made you some tea,” Lucien said, sliding a steaming cup towards her. “Milk?”

“Oh,” Elain reached out in surprise. “Thank you. For the tea, I mean. No milk, please.”

Lucien chuckled, the sound deep and honeyed. “I suppose you haven’t been in England long enough.”

Elain’s gaze narrowed. “Alright. I’ll have a little bit.”

“That’s more like it,” Lucien grinned. “Listen, I’m so sorry about last night. Again, thank you for letting me stay here.”

“It’s no problem,” Elain said. “But I should warn you, I’m leaving the day after tomorrow and Feyre’s not getting back until a few days later, so the house will stay locked until she’s back.”

Lucien’s brows furrowed. “Christmas Day? Feyre said you’d be leaving after that.”

“Yes, well…” Elain sighed. “This place isn’t what I thought it would be. Actually, that’s not fair. I just…don’t think I belong here.”

Lucien sipped his own tea, considering. “How’s that?”

“It’s too, uh…” Lonely. “Quiet.”

He smiled at that. “If you’re looking for chaos, you’ve come to the right place.” He set the cup down on the counter. “A couple of my friends and I are meeting up at the local pub tonight. It’s sort of a tradition we do before Christmas Eve. You’re welcome to join us, and I promise I’ll go to my own house afterwards.”

Elain laughed. Something about this man was so…different. Despite having just met her, Lucien seemed so at ease—so comfortable in her presence. As if he actually enjoyed it.

Her suitcase was already half packed—maybe she deserved a small sendoff. At least she wouldn’t spend the last few nights of her trip blankly staring into the fireplace. And so, Elain smiled at him again. “I’ll think about it.”

***

As promised, Rhysand showed up the next morning.

Feyre didn’t have to open the bakery this time—though, as she told Nuala, she didn’t mind doing it again. And so, at 8:30 a.m. sharp and flour-free, Feyre was ready to find out more about this mysterious stranger.

Rhysand, it seemed, adored teasing her as much as he adored the personal questions. She’d made the mistake of telling him she was an artist, getting herself trapped in a promise of one day drawing a portrait of the prick himself.

“You need to see the Met before you leave,” Rhys, as he insisted on being called, told her. “I’d be more than happy to show you, if you’re not too busy.”

Feyre could only laugh. “I’m a New Yorker and an artist. I’ve been to the Met,” she said, making a point to sound terribly offended. “And that wasn’t as smooth as you think it was, you know.”

Rhys placed a dramatic hand over his chest. “You wound me.”

Her eyebrows rose a fraction of an inch. “Is this how you get women to go out with you, Rhysand? By inflicting pity?”

Impressed, his violet eyes twinkled. “Cruel thing.”

Choosing to ignore the heat rising through her at his words, Feyre shrugged. “You just seem like the type.”

Rhys’s lips twitched. “The type?”

“You know the one. Always with a compliment at hand, calling every woman he meets darling or…something.”

“I didn’t know you were so eager for a nickname, Feyre,” Rhys purred.

“Oh, shut up,” she rolled her eyes, though a smile played in the corner of her mouth.

“I still do think you should see the Met,” he continued. “After all, it has been a while since you last visited, has it not? I’d bet your knowledge has grown somewhat rusty. And I’m not just talking about the Met.”

“Okay, now I’m officially offended,” Feyre crossed her arms. “You’re British and you think you think you know New York better than me?”

Those eyes sparkled again. “I’ll tell you what, Feyre darling,” Rhys began, and Feyre’s stomach fluttered at the name. Once again, she chose to ignore it. “I’ll make you a bargain: we find out who knows the city best—if I win, I get to take you out on a date.”

Feyre’s eyes narrowed. “And if I win?”

“Remember that portrait you promised?” Feyre nodded. “Well,” Rhysand winked, “I do nudes too.”

***

Jurian and Vassa were probably the funniest people Elan had ever met.

They had met at university and had remained together ever since. Elain had never seen two people share such strong bond—in the six months she’d dated him, Elain had never laughed with Greysen as much as Vassa had with Jurian in one night. And aside from all their teasing and jokes, Elain didn’t miss the way Jurian’s arm wrapped around his girlfriend, the way her head rested lightly on his shoulder when Elain and Lucien had gone up to the bar to order more drinks.

“They look really good together,” Elain sighed.

“They do,” Lucien agreed. “Though I must admit, I do not particularly enjoy the third wheeling.” Elain laughed, and Lucien answered with a smile of his own. “What I mean is—it’s nice to have you here.”

“I am having a lot of fun,” Elain admitted.

“Do you…” he hesitated, his russet eyes searching for hers. Elain angled her head, questioning, and Lucien cleared his throat. “If you don’t have any plans tomorrow, I’d love to show you more of this place. Maybe you’ll like it enough to come visit us again.”

Elain smiled. “I’d like that very much.”

***

Lucien had taken her to the gardens.

Elain had never seen anything more beautiful—who would have thought there would be a small castle in a hidden place like this. The gardens were nothing short of spectacular, with the greenhouses hosting plants of all kinds and bright, exotic colours she had never even seen on pictures.

“Feyre mentioned you like to garden,” Lucien explained, a pleased smile lighting up his features at every small gasp escaping her. “I thought this would be a great place for you to see.”

“It’s breathtaking,” Elain sighed, leaning over a particularly vibrant flower.

Quiet fell for a brief moment before Lucien spoke again. “It is.”

Turning back to him, Elain offered a small smile. “I’d like to see more, if we can.”

With a nod, Lucien extended a gloved hand. “Of course.”

Elain took it, and they walked out to the glistening snow.

***

It had only taken them minutes to get into a snowball fight, and only after both their hair was practically wet, Elain had finally decided it was time for a glass of wine.

The restaurant inside the castle had been lovely—cozy and candlelit, with the sound of Christmas carols coming faintly through the speakers. Once they had dried off, their body warmth stimulated by the rich, red liquid, the conversation could finally begin.

“I never thought Christmas Eve could look like this,” Elain mused.

Lucien’s brows rose in question. “Good or bad?”

“Definitely good.”

He smiled at that. “How do you usually spend Christmas Eve?”

Elain’s face fell a bit. “Well, the past few years have been somewhat chaotic. My sisters had all moved all over the world, and I…stayed. I was meant to spend this year with my, I guess ex-boyfriend now.”

“Oh.”

“We broke up just over a week ago,” Elain explained. “He…ah…I caught him with his secretary.”

Something flashed in Lucien’s eyes, and for a moment, Elain wondered if he would say anything—if there was anything he could say, really.

“I wish I could say I was sorry,” he began, and Elain’s brows shot up in surprise. “But any man that was lucky enough to have you and didn’t appreciate it was never really worth it in the first place.”

Elain swallowed hard. “No?”

“No,” Lucien agreed. “He never deserved your light. Your kindness. Your beauty.” Their gazes met, hot an fiery and unyielding. “He never deserved you.”

***

This time, they stumbled into Elain’s cottage together, clothes falling on the living room floor one by one until there was not a layer of fabric left.

Damn him, Lucien was even more magnificent than she imagined. With his strong arms, a broad, sculpted chest, and brown skin gleaming in firelight, he looked like a god materialised right in front of her. If her cheeks had not been already flushed, she might have gone more red than the couch he’d laid her on.

She could feel the race of his heart against her body, her own chest rising and falling with heavy breaths as he lowered himself further.

Elain’s eyes widened. Greysen had never…

“Lucien,” Elain breathed, and he stilled immediately, his stare meeting her own. “You don’t have to…”

Lucien laughed quietly, the sound dark and smooth against her skin. “Have to?” he asked. “Elain, if I don’t get to taste you right now, I’m going to go insane.”

The words ran the core between her thighs molten, and Elain allowed herself one last coherent thought before nodding her permission.

Lucien wasted no time.

Before she knew it, his tongue reduced her to a whimpering mess, desire twisting in her stomach as he licked and sucked with an abandon that only told her he enjoyed it as much as she did. Elain chased that feeling, rocking her hips into his face, so close she was certain she’d explode any second.

A gasp tore from her lips as Lucien’s fingers grazed her entrance, then slid in with ease the moment his mouth closed over her clit.

Release slammed into her without warning, her whole body trembling at the white-hot pleasure shooting down every nerve. It felt so good.

His pace slowed down as he coaxed her through the orgasm, his hands laying heavily on her hips now, and Elain released a trembling breath.

Lucien’s mouth made its way up her stomach, leaving soft, wet kissed on what seemed like every inch of her skin, and Elain moaned his name again, her voice straining with pleasure.

His breath was hot on her neck as Lucien placed one final kiss below the shell of her ear. “Ready for more?”

***

Feyre, of course, had lost the bet. Embarrassing, really, but if she was being completely honest with herself, she did not mind at all.

Rhys, it seemed, had not made any plans on Christmas Eve, and so the two of them had scheduled their date for the evening.

She’d expected a grand gesture from Rhys, something in the manner of a lavish candlelit dinner, maybe at the Plaza. He seemed like the type.

Instead, she’d arrived at the rooftop of Rhysand’s building to find nothing but a fluffy blanket, two candles, and a basket with what she suspected were carefully selected snacks.

“What’s this?” Feyre asked quietly, taking a step closer.

Rhys turned to her then, looking even better somehow, with a shirt of black satin loose and unbuttoned under his coat and dark hair ruffled by the wintry breeze. His gaze landed on her, and in what felt like hours, he took her all in. “A picnic,” he finally said, those violet eyes meeting hers at last. “You look beautiful.”

Feyre smiled. “I’ve never been on a rooftop picnic before,” she said. “I would’ve thought of Central Park first,” she added, teasing.

Rhys sighed theatrically, extending out a hand. “See, you even suggesting that only tells me I am a fair winner of our bargain.”

Feyre took his hand, and they both made themselves comfortable. “I’ll bet you secretly wish you lost, though. You did seem very excited about the nude portraits.”

Rhysand hummed appreciatively. “Quite right. I’ll tell you what—if it makes you happier, Feyre darling, I’d be more than happy to offer up my body for artistic research.”

Feyre shook her head, laughing once more. “You’re unbelievable.”

At that, his grin faded into a gentle smile, and slowly, he reached out to tuck a loose lock of hair behind her ear. “So are you,” Rhys said quietly.

The air suddenly became tight between their bodies, and Feyre looked out to the city skyline. “So, why the rooftop?” she asked again.

His eyes never left her for a second. “Another thing about New York, Feyre darling,” Rhys said. “It looks most beautiful at night.”

Feyre turned to him at that, something warm spreading through her body and tingling at her eyes. She let herself drown in those pools of violet, leaning in closer until their eyes closed and she felt the soft brush of his mouth on hers.

She didn’t remember how they ended up in his bed, their legs tangled between the sheets. She only remembered the stars shining above them, and feeling the happiest she’d ever been.

***

Elain’s phone buzzed in the middle of the night, and she was too soon ripped from her sleep to look at the caller ID before answering.

“Hello?”

“Elain?”

She shot up the bed in an instant. “Greysen.”

“Elain, I’ve been trying to reach you for over a week. Please, talk to me.”

“I…” she shot a quick glance at Lucien, his naked form peaceful beside her. “Give me a minute.”

Hands trembling, she slid into her robe, and quietly made her way downstairs. Somehow, in their nightly activities, her and Lucien had eventually found their way to her bed.

Propping down on the arm of the couch, Elain took a deep breath. “What do you want, Greysen?”

“Elain,” his voice sounded at the end of the line. “I was an idiot. I am begging you to forgive me.”

“I’m afraid it is too late for apologies, Greysen.”

“I know you’re in England. Please come back to me,” he pleaded. “I miss you. I need you. We need each other.”

“I…”

“We belong together, Elain, and you know it.”

Another, deep breath.

Somewhere upstairs was a man who, in only three days, had treated her better than Greysen ever had in the entire time they’d known each other. Who had made her feel whole again. A man who had shown her what true affection felt like.

And so, Elain said her final goodbye. “I’m not sure that we do, Greysen.”

Then, she hung up the phone.

Back in the bedroom, Lucien stirred, a strand of red hair falling over his face. Elain smiled, gently pulling it away to tuck behind his ear. Something sparkled in her chest, a feeling she’d never felt but wanted to hold on to forever.

And then, the realisation had kicked in.

Elain had caught feelings for Lucien. Lucien, who, in those three days, had managed to capture her heart forever. Lucien, who, after tomorrow, she’d probably never see again.

Elain would not let her heart break again. Not like this.

And so, she began packing.

***

When she came downstairs in the morning, Lucien was already in the kitchen, a cup of tea and a plate full of chocolate biscuits waiting for her on the counter.

The sight brought tears to her eyes.

“Elain?” Lucien asked, stepping in closer and taking her into his arms. “What’s wrong?

“I have to go,” she whispered. “I have to go, Lucien.”

His brows furrowed in confusion. “Go where?”

Elain shook her head. “I need to make it for my flight.”

Lucien stepped back, something like panic flashing through his eyes. “Elain…”

“I can’t stay here,” she denied him before he got the chance to say anything.

“A few more days,” Lucien pleaded. “Leave before New Year’s, like you originally planned to do.”

“I can’t stay here, Lucien” she repeated. “My heart won’t handle it if I stay.”

“Elain,” he begged.

She took his face into her hands, pressing a light kiss to his lips. “Merry Christmas,” she told him.

Then, she left.

***

Rhys had already been awake by the time Feyre opened her eyes.

His thumb brushed her cheek, and she sighed in delight before reality came crashing in. “I have to go now, Rhys.”

“What’s the rush?” he asked, his voice roughened by sleep. The sound sent her heart fluttering all over again.

“I have to pack,” she explained. “My flight back to London is tomorrow.”

“Stay,” Rhys only said.

Feyre chuckled. “I wish I could, but I need to do the final touch-ups on one of my paintings as well. I need it to dry off before I leave.”

“You could stay longer,” Rhys protested. “The exhibition isn’t until New Year’s Eve.”

“I know that, but…” she frowned, mulling over his words.

And then again.

And again.

Only then did Feyre realise she’d never told him about the exhibition.

He must have realised that, too, from the way his eyes widened and mouth opened with an empty explanation that would mean nothing to her.

“It was you,” Feyre accused.

“Feyre darling…”

“Do not call me that,” she ordered, and Rhysand fell silent. “You arranged for the exhibit, did you not?”

Silence.

“Rhysand,” she warned.

He sighed. “I did. But, Feyre…”

“I was shocked,” she began, “when I received that invitation from the gallery. Such a short notice, too, and so unusual. The day after my engagement fell apart. Did you know?”

“Yes.”

Silver began burning her eyes, but she continued. “You knew I was an artist from Elain, didn’t you? Did she tell you how miserable I was? How I spent two years in a foreign country trying to build a career and getting nowhere? Did my sister ask you to make me your little charity case?”

“Allow me to explain…”

“You knew who I was from the moment you met me,” she whispered. “And you said nothing.” She swallowed hard. “I don’t want to see you again.”

And with that, Feyre was gone.

***

This time, Elain actually did cry in the cab, though it had nothing to do with wearing heels in the snow.

The flight wasn’t for another few hours, and Elain decided if she was going to have her heart broken anyway, she might as well stop at the local bakery and treat herself.

Asking the driver to wait outside, Elain entered what seemed like the only shop opened on Christmas Day.

“Merry Christmas!” a lady greeted her at the register. “What can I get you?”

Elain sighed. “Anything for a broken heart?”

The lady smiled knowingly. “Not a cure, I’m afraid, but these freshly baked cinnamon rolls do make life a little sweeter.”

Elain went completely still. “What did you say?”

The woman raised her brows, confused. “Cinnamon rolls?”

Her heart thudded in her chest.

What the hell am I doing?

“I’m so sorry, I have to go,” Elain turned practically running out of the shop. “Merry Christmas!”

The cap sprinted through the streets until it reached the very familiar forest. “Sorry, love,” the driver began, “I’m afraid…”

“That’s okay,” Elain laughed. “I’ll run.”

And she did. Her socks were wet in an instant, but Elain did not care one bit as she finally reached the red front door.

She banged on it loudly until she was greeted by Lucien, his handsome face the perfect picture of shock.

Elain threw her arms around his neck and pulled him in until their lips collided in a kiss hot enough to warm the coldest winter. He hugged her tightly, whispering her name into her neck and running his fingers through her hair until he’d made sure she truly was real and standing before him.

Elain pulled away just enough to meet his eyes. “I’ll stay here,” she said at the same time Lucien declared “I’ll move to New York,” and they both broke out in laughter, Lucien bringing her closer for another kiss.

“We’ll figure it out,” Elain whispered.

Lucien nodded fiercely. “As long as we’re together.”

***

New Year’s Eve

The exhibition was going perfectly, but Feyre wasn’t happy at all.

There was one person missing—and she hated how much she missed him.

Her sister, at least, seemed to be enjoying herself. Lucien did, too—and she couldn’t be happier for either of them. Still, looking at that one painting of the New York City skyline…Feyre wanted nothing more but to go back. Even if it was simply to yell at him.

A light tap on the shoulder brought her back into reality. “Feyre,” Elain told her. “There’s someone here that wants to speak with you.”

If she had to deal with another critic tonight, she would have probably broken into tears. “Show me,” she asked her sister anyway.

Elain nodded, leading her to an empty hallway just a few meters away.

“Hello, Feyre darling.”

Feyre froze in her steps. “What are you doing here?” she asked, barely noting Elain quietly removing herself from the conversation.

“I only ask for a moment. Please,” Rhysand said, his violet eyes shining with a silent plea. “You can hate me forever, but allow me to explain.”

I could never hate you.

“Alright,” Feyre agreed, and Rhys released a breath.

“I knew who you were,” he began. “Elain loves talking about you, you and your other sister. I had been coming to the bakery for months now, and I knew you paint. It was one of the first things she told me about you.” He smiled. “She told me about the dresser you painted when you were kids. She told me you painted the night sky on yours.”

Feyre held her breath, her gaze remaining fixed on his face, the slight tremble of his jaw.

“You asked me what I invest in. Art,” he told her. “I buy and collect art. I have been for a while. And when Elain showed me your paintings, I…they took my breath away. I had never met you, but it felt as though your art told me enough. Like it spoke to my very soul, understood me.” He swallowed hard. “I knew we would probably never meet, but fell in love with your craft, Feyre, and all I wanted was to share it with the rest of the world. I didn’t do it for Elain, not even for you. Your talent needs to be seen. The way I feel seen through you.

“When Elain told me about the swap, I knew I had to see you—at least once, if only to tell you how incredible you are. I should have told you—I know I should have—but I fell for you so deeply I wanted you to see me—not as your anonymous patron, or even as Elain’s friend—but as me, the same way your art does. You have captivated me, my darling Feyre, and I am yours forever—if you’ll have me.”

The whole world felt as though it swept away from her feet, and Feyre could only utter one word.

“Rhysand,” she breathed, her lips finding his own.

Soft and gentle, their kiss caressed her heart and soul, their arms wrapped tight around each other and not letting go. In the background, fireworks exploded and people cheered, celebrating new love and beginnings.

For only a moment, Rhys pulled back and inch. “Happy New Year, Feyre darling.”

She laughed, and with tears of happiness like stars in her eyes, Feyre kissed him again.

#acotargiftexchange2022 #elucien fic #feysand fic #elucien #pro elucien #feysand #pro feysand #elain x lucien #feyre x rhysand #acotar fic #my writing #acotar #a court of thorns and roses

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