Crying and gagging (god it already sounds kinkyπ)
Lol I already like the sound of this!
Answered below the cut πΆ
C.Β Crying: β You ever make someone cry before? from ecstasyβ was it with Mickey? Has Ian cried during sex?
You bet your ass it was with Mickey. The first time it happened it shocked the hell out of both of them, but man Ian fucking looooved that he could make him do that. And YEAH Ian has definitely cried during sex! He's gotten misty-eyed while making love (because, I mean, come on), and he's had tears streaming down his face while Mickey's made him choke on his cock, and he's cried while begging to come, and he's cried when Mickey finally did let him come...all kinds of reasons. Love that for him.
G:Β Gagging:Β Weβve all seen the famous Gag in their room. Who wore it? Who bought it? How was the first experience? Howβs their gag reflex?
I think they take turns putting each other in it, but I see Mickey in it more. I also think it was Mickey who bought it. Dude knows what he wants, and what he wants is to have his jaw forced open and mouth stuffed full while he shuts his brain off for a little while. As for their first experience with it, I mentioned briefly in this fic that Mickey had a hard time swallowing all the spit in his mouth and ended up choking while lying on his back lmao, poor dude. But he is undeterred! And they figure it out. Good for them. How's their gag reflex? Lol neither of them have one. Except, well. Mickey will gag on his toothbrush and be like, why does this happen when I can swallow dick without a problem, this is so stupid. And he's right, it is stupid.
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I hope people remember.
When Gaza is razed to the ground I hope people remember those who were lost. When the rest of the Palestinians who are being massacred all across Palestine are gone I hope the world remembers them all. I hope those who loved them celebrate their memory.
I hope the people whose hands are coated in the blood of these beautiful, brave people remember. I hope they are haunted by their actions every single moment of their entire lives. I hope they feel the suffering that every single Palestinian felt every second of their lives. I hope it's the last thought in their head when they die.
I will remember. I will never forgive.
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plotting/starter call! Like this post for a small starter. If you're multimuse, plz comment to specify muse. If we haven't spoken before I might hop into your IMs to plot a bit beforehand, depending on the muse/inspo/phase of the moon/mood.
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Just making little "housekeeping" sorta post here, but~... i think over the weekend, or maybe the start of next week, idk yet-- i'm gonna try and get a new thread tracker set up. Not sure yet how i'll add it to my pinned, as i'm unsure if i can edit the current post and not screw up the formatting... And i dunno if i can even redo said formatting in a new post, or if i'd have to scrap it for something that does work in the editor format-- = A =
But anyway-- just a lil mention for things i might be working on~...
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i try not to vague about personal stuff or talk too much about "real world" things on this blog, but i'm feeling.... a lot of things today, all of them kind of shitty, and i just... want to let it out without also making myself into someone else's burden or putting even more undue pressure on my partner. (he'd listen. he wouldn't mind. he'd be nothing but understanding, the sweet man. but i just know he'd worry too much, and i don't want that.)
something small happened last night that reminded me of something from a long time ago (a time i was hurt and lashed out, when i acted in a way i didn't want to in response to fear and feeling abandoned, and generally just... an ugly time in my life when i was probably at- or just past my lowest), and with a whole bunch of unrelated things all coming together, and me not having slept for the better part of almost a month now (with noisy neighbors and what's quite possibly stress-induced tinnitus), i just...
i'm sitting here, 11 pm on a bloody tuesday, and all i want is to be able to have a nice, long cry, but i just... can't. i want to, i feel it stirring and straining in there, i can feel that pressure and squeeze in my chest, but i just.... can't seem to cry properly, in a way that'd offer any type of relief.
and it's such a weird thing too, like i shouldn't be bothered anymore. i'm almost 30 years old, i should be able to just shrug and move past something so.... stupid that happened more than like... god, over 6 years ago? when i was younger, terrified of so many things, depressed, and so, so deeply lonely. but it's very hard not to feel all... isolated and alone when you're so exhausted, and insecure, or even angry for like 3 totally unrelated reasons, and can't even have a genuinely good cry about it.
a good handful of years ago, when i was in therapy, my therapist said that crying is like... when you overfill a glass with a kind of water that's made of your emotions. even if there's too much, for a while, the surface tension can keep it all inside the glass, but eventually... if there's too much water, too much tension, it will spill in some way. you can't keep tamping down all that water, and keep filling the glass infinitely, because the tension needs to release somehow. but he didn't talk about what happens to the glass if you put a bloody brick on top of it, and yet keep filling it anyway.
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Also I had meant to say this yesterday, but thank you to those who read my 6 am extremely personal ramble post from the other day (or I guess it was yesterday but still). I honestly wasn't really expecting anyone to do that or interact with it in any way, and to be honest I was more than fine with that because I just wanted to clear my head before I tried to sleep. But the fact that ya'll did that even though you really didn't have to actually meant a lot to me. Just the silent support of the likes alone felt really encouraging and supportive, and I honestly can't thank you guys enough for that. Especially since cutting off a parent is never easy and probably one of the hardest things I'll ever do. I was already proud of myself for setting my boundaries, but it really did feel like solidifying that I did the right thing to protect my peace and that others were supportive of my decision.
So seriously, thank you. π
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