#but idk i’ll think up something lol

[akkivee]

SO BAD ASS TEMPLE IS MADE UP OF THIS MONK VKEI ARTIST AND LAWYER AND THE MONK KUUKOU IS A VERY GOOD BOY LIKE THE LITERAL INCARNATION OF THE SUN BUT HE ALSO HAS THE BURNING RAGE OF ONE THAT MANIFESTS WHEN HE SEES SOMETHING WRONG IN THE WORLD AND JYUSHI THE VKEI ARTIST IS ALMOST KUUKOUS DIRECT OPPOSITE HES THE MOON TO THE SUN A BIG CRYBABY BUT THE THING ABOUT THE MOON IS THAT THERES A DARK SIDE TO IT AND JYUSHIS DUAL PERSONALITIES MIGHT BE AN ALLEGORY TO THAT BUT HE ALSO HAS A HIDDEN ANGER ABOUT HIM AND THEN THE LAWYER HITOYA IS SHOWN TO BE GRAPPLING WITH HIS ANGER TOWARDS INJUSTICES TOWARDS THOSE HE REALLY CARES ABOUT SO BAT HAS A SUBTLE THEME OF ANGER AND THAT JUST ONE OF THEIR—

[crochetedcandy]

My grandma is getting rid of her floor loom and offered it to me. The only issue is I have never even seen a loom in person. She got it 30 ish years years ago but it’s been sitting in her basement for I don’t know how long, so I don’t know what shape it’s in but I did find a listing from someone who has the same loom (X). Apparently it’s from a fairly local company and there’s only a few of these specific looms?

Im very excited to try weaving and have been watching Dolores Jacob’s Learn How To Weave playlist on YouTube and a handful of other videos but if anyone has any advice? Other YouTube playlists or books I could check for at the library?

[why-the-heck-not]

19.12.23, tuesday

0.5h of coding lol

wasn’t having the best day so decided to finally watch the barbie-movie (it’s on hbo rn) bc figured that could cheer me up

but bc the universe loves a good timing, on the grocery store trip after, some dudes came to me like ”which one of us would u fuck?” and that annoyed me way more than it should’ve. Like cmon, it’s 10pm at a grocery store; if you’re not cottage cheese or olive oil get tf out of my face

just a short evening walk bc it was windy and I was annoyed

[macksartblock]

I got back home recently and indulgently used my Durge and Wyll for warm ups

[dumb-doll-lips]

Someone I’m seeing mentioned maybe getting me a lingerie related Christmas present. I’m having a hard time w gifts I could give back. Was originally like before he said anything planning to gift some Christmas cookies. And then like lingerie can be at all different price points too, so I’m not feeling totally sure what makes sense as a range either.

Super would appreciate any ideas.

[arolesbianism]

Sier? I haven’t even met her! Laugh.

[johndonneswife]

not a sad ‘woe is me’ post so don’t send me weird messages but: the thing abt cycling through every ED possible and being bulimic for like 10 yrs & making yourself vomit up to 10x times per day on ur worst days is that your teeth and gums will eventually give out on you (bc it doesn’t make a difference if you’ve been good & it doesn’t matter how well you’ve taken care of your teeth for the last x years) and u will be 30 years old crying to your very sweet and kind dentist when she tells you about the 1 million things that are wrong with ur teeth

[marimbles]

i miss being in my tmsidk era. what was i on back then. where did that girl go. come back ho why would you abandon me like this

[ladymacbeths]

Macbethposting Friday anyway I am thinking about the come you spirits etc etc and just… the implications of it all. Lady Macbeth’s motivations to do the Thing aka kill Duncan aka have Macbeth be king aka be queen herself are never cleared up and only there to be built with clues. But in any case— whether self-serving or altruistic (wanting it for Macbeth not herself)— it’s something extreme.

Extreme enough to make her want to rid herself of her very nature to achieve it. She’s insane 2 me bc she’s self-aware but not self-aware enough to know that going against who she really is will end terribly. But thing is that she Knows that she, as she is, with the qualities she has Now, won’t be able to do it. She’s desperate enough to say “okay, make me able to do it then. Rid me of my nature. Make it impossible for me to prevent myself.”

Like, the Thing that makes her do it, whatever it is, has to be big enough to get her to That Level and I fear there’s too little talk of… what it could be that also makes sense.

[e77y]

Long but relatively unserious vent/rant below the cut (sorry I added this in bc I realized how long this post is oops)

Being at the center of some kind of internet witchhunt (which ik is kind of buzzwordy but) is literally my biggest fear ohhh my god. Even a small scale one… I think I would Die. Maybe it’s because I had a similar thing happen with my friend group in high school where one of them convinced the others I was like evil and spread all these rumors about me… 😭 He was splitting on me but still. That’s an explanation, not an excuse. And it basically confirmed all of my intrusive thoughts about myself, and my personality completely self-destructed and changed, and I haven’t interacted with any of those people the same way since. I isolated from them for MONTHS and just loathed myself. Bleh

The reason it’s on my mind is bc I’ve seen this happen to friends and mutuals and even just people I’ve followed in small fandoms, where the whole fandom hates them bc of this little drama and like. I KNOW that fandom drama is not the end of the world, but truly I think that would destroy me for months. And I would never be able to set foot in those spaces again :’) Getting a handful of rude comments about a fucking transfem hc I had at like 14 made me stop writing fanfic for YEARS 😭😭😭 sigh. Just bc they said it was ‘out of character for him to want to be a girl’ 🙄 (<- character who canonically felt confident when dressed as a woman btw. initially for a disguise but then she grew to love it. BUT I DIGRESS KNSHFJW)

All this to say I think that’s why I tiptoe around everything I say online… I am SO scared of ruffling feathers, but I know that fandoms are places for like! Having fun! And it’s not a big deal! And it doesn’t affect my real life! But like idk.. I just hate the idea of being hated by anyone. I’m sure that I ANNOY some people, and that’s whatever; I talk a lot and make overly personal posts sometimes (like this lol) but I don’t wanna be HATED yk? And idek if it’s better to be hated and ostracized publicly or resented in secret by people who still interact with you… :( Agh. If you ever have an issue with me, please DM me instead of letting it build up into something worse!

ANYWAY LIKE.. with fandom stuff. Idk. I want to have fun! I want to write and post things on Tumblr and AO3 etc but I am just very scared of peoples’ opinions, especially now that I have a decently popular/well-liked longfic in DnDads. For some reason I have convinced myself that writing bad or self-indulgent NSFW will make everyone hate me lmao. Like girl the POINT of fanfic is to be self-indulgent……….. sigh I need to get out more

^ light-hearted… but also kinda true haha. I stay at home a lot just bc I don’t have many reasons to go out atm and only a handful of close friends to go out with. Hopefully that will change when I move next semester lol. And whenever I get interests, they’re VERY strong and long-lasting, and fanfic writing is one of my main hobbies, so I get REALLY into online communities. And rn that is kind of my little niche fandom Tumblr bubble… which is embarrassing and probably unhealthy but whatever. I just inevitably get a lot of anxiety about things that are important/fun to me (bc OCD), especially bc I’ve never really had mutuals/‘friends’ in a fandom before this, excluding my irls

Anyway this got longer and more vent-y than I intended so I will tag accordingly, and sorry to whoever is reading this lol; I just wanted to get my thoughts written down in a public forum bc idk… Makes me feel less insane when ik other people can see it, too. Helps me not take it too seriously and spiral lol.

[theloyalpin]

in the mood to delete everything about myself off my blogs idk

[wifegideonnav]

homestuck is getting SAD and i don’t WANT THIS i want to read about shitty children lovingly bullying each other i don’t want to watch them sobbing over each other’s corpses :/

[peapod20001]

In my...✨ depression bed ✨ phase <3

[pepprs]

omg mutuals quick vote now on your phones (if u want to lol) bc im incapable of making decisions for myself and i need advice. do i go on this trip yes or no. i have to have a decision in like an hour basically bc if i decide to go i have to start packing

YES:

pros: going on an adventure / change of scenery, getting to be more independent, bonding time w my dad (the only other person from my immediate family going), getting to see family i haven’t seen in years and visiting a place i haven’t been in years, could be fun or relaxing

cons: missing my work besties and the rest of my family at home and all the routines, putting an extra burden on my work besties, not having relaxing time at home, potential covid exposure, not getting much work done during an extremely (and more than expectedly) busy time in part bc of getting carsick while having to work during the EIGHT HOUR CAR RIDE!, having to take time to pack when im already super stressed, becoming even more sleep deprived, not having one on one time w my dad (or myself lol)

NO:

pros: not missing anything at work / home and having disruptions, not being exposed to covid, getting to relax how i want to and stay in my safe ordinary routine without burdening or disrupting myself or others lol

cons: not seeing my family, not going on this adventure, going back on my word that i would go, possibly damaging how my dads side of the family views my siblings and mom and me bc we never participate in any family stuff there lol

so uhhhh… yeah there are a lot more cons for going than anything else. i think what it comes down to is this. i can see my far-away family another time when it’s not so busy and i wouldn’t be missing work or creating extra burdens. i can go on an adventure when it’s more convenient for me. but the timing of this sucks and i am on the verge of a nervous breakdown from stress and sleep deprivation so maybe traveling 8 hours to see family would not be the best idea even if they would look down on me for it. lol

[rosicheeks]

i do not know if i ever sent this to you. i have posted it. i hope you like it Princess.

[the-trans-dragon]

I can’t tell if I’m just bad at finding Bedsheets That Don’t Pill, or if it’s just another case of Severe Decrease In Product Quality Due To Ongoing Plague And Labor Shortages, or if I’m just autistic and doomed to experience all bedsheet textures as Level 10 Pain