#but idk it just makes me second guess maybe smth is wrong with me

[miercolaes]

fancy tags are making me sad so as of rn, everything will be simpler. i just want to write and for some reason i always create smth that just's sucking the enjoyment with a biodegradable straw. until i find smth easier to tag that doesn't make the brain juice sad, i'll only tag the user.

[toastsnaffler]

man. getting a little sick of being everyones 15th option for everything. when is it my turn to be someone's first choice :^[

[sp00nzontheteenagefacebook]

hi! idk if you only do headcanons or not but can you write cc!quackity angst where the reader checks up on alex multiple times through out the day when he’s in his streaming room and one day he’s just having a bad day and accidentally snaps and says something hurtful at the reader when they’re just trying to get him to eat bc he hasn’t eaten or smth like that? and when the reader leaves the room he doesnt realize how bad he hurt them so he tries to talk to them but they already left the house and stayed at a friends house for a bit, and when they come back he apologizes and it just turns into fluff?? SORRY ITS REALLY DETALIED LOLL 💀 anyways, have a good day/night!! <33

Don't Snap At Me, I'm Sensitive.

Ofc! Sorry it took what- a year to write this? Here's part one since it was too long to write all of it onto the tumblr format!

Pairing: Quackity, You

Summary: ^^^

TW: Quackity is big mean for a minute there

Under the cut <33

Alex had been streaming for 5 hours now. He was doing a Roblox stream where he played AdoptMe.

But everything that could go wrong did go wrong.

His camera broke, his game was raided by DSMP antis and weirdchamp Quackity fans, the internet in his house went out multiple times, and he had forgotten to eat anything that day.

Throughout the stream, Alex's stress started to get the best of him. But he continued.

Bills don’t pay themselves.

The internet going off again at the 5-and-a-half hour mark was when he decided he was done playing for the day.

Powering off his PC, he put his face into his hand and took a long breath to calm down. His office door opened and in walked you.

"Hey, you’re finally done," you said as you walked up to him. He sent a small glare your way, hoping that you’d take the hint to back off.

That he was in no mood to talk to you, but you didn’t.

You did, however, notice his bad mood and gently touched his shoulder, "How about we go out to eat, yeah? Get your mind off whatever's making you angry."

"I'm not angry," He mumbled as he shrugged your hand off his shoulder.

You stared at him, "Baby.. c’mon, what’s wrong?"

"Nothing. It’s nothing. "

"Alex, I can tell when something’s wrong. Just talk to me and maybe we can fix it. "

"Amor please, I don’t-"

"Alexis, please just tell-"

He slammed his hands on the table and stood up, "Maybe if you weren’t so fucking stupid, maybe you’d be able to see that I want to be left alone! God. It's like you never fucking take hints. "

Your eyes widened as you took a step back.

"What?"

"You fucking heard me. Just leave me alone, "

He spat out as he sat back in his chair and looked down, "I can’t deal with your nonsense right now."

You stare at him, your eyes burning as tears threaten to fall. Without a word, you walked out of the room.

Walking into the two of you's shared room you grabbed the suitcase from under the bed and started shoving things from your drawers and closet into it while letting out a few sobs.

You slammed the suitcase shut and zipped it shut. You sat on your bed, grabbed your phone, and called your friend.

The phone rang for a second before they picked up, "Hey bud, what's up?"

You sniffed, "Hey, Alexis n’ I— he yelled at me- I was wondering if you would mind if I crashed at your house for a few days?"

"Oh, honey… Yeah, of course. Uh- fuck. Do you need a ride?"

"No, it's fine. I’ll take the car. Thank you so much. This means a lot."

"Yeah, of course! I’ll see you when you get here."

You two said your goodbyes and hung up, grabbed your suitcase, and headed out of the house.

Looking behind you towards the office, you started second-guessing yourself.

Shaking your head, you walked out of the door, closing it behind you.

Part 2!

Masterlist

[quodekash]

im already about to cry and the episode hasn't even started yet, so that's a nice sign that'll probably foreshadow how tonight is gonna go

PLS I LOVE HER SO MUCH

SHE ACTUALLY LISTENS AND TALKS TO KANGHAN

SHE IS MY GODDESS

MY QUEEN

MY MILF

9GO3U4ERHDSGN9P8IO4EURBDGN980OEUVDS

I KNEW SHE WAS CAPTAINING THE SHIP BUT HOLY FRICK NUGGETS

GUEOJRKBGNUOERJDFBGEUOR

IM SOBBING SO HARD RN

lmao nice joke

based on this scene being right at the start here, this episode is definitely gonna be the one where he properly realises his feelings for sailom (if he hasn't realised them already, which I dont think he has. he hasn't accepted it, at least)

AND BASED ON THAT LOGIC, generally the way these writers and directors etc base these ones, they fully lean into the fell first / fell harder dynamic, and almost immediately after the second person realises, they kiss

SO im very much hoping for a kiss at the end of this episode (but it also might not be til next episode)

WE'RE WHAT, ONE MINUTE INTO THE EPISODE?? AND WE'RE ALREADY GETTING TO THE INTIMATE STARES????

OH BOY IM SCARED FOR THE REST OF THE EPISODE

I THINK MY GAY LITTLE HEART MIGHT ACTUALLY EXPLODE

oh yup, oh yup, we've got the heartbeat sound in the background. kang's feelings are coming to lightttt (PLEASE LET THEM KISS TODAY)

AAA

IM SO EXCITED FOR WHATS GONNA HAPPEN BC OF THIS

my theory that they're gonna run away during school hours is still going strong

NOOOOO THE SCENE WAS SO NICE AND HAPPY AND FLUFFY WHY ARE YOU HERE TO RUIN IT YOU BASTARD???

yup okay so that theory is definitely right

(the theory that saifah's gonna like steal from kang's house, and his dad is gonna get shot in the process. not my own theory, it's from @ respectthepetty and it's such a good theory, I love it so much)

OML THIS IS SO FUNNY

I CANT WAIT FOR MORE BATHROOM SHENANIGANS, THIS IS GONNA BE WONDERFUL

awh is he lonely?

he needs a hug

from kang

all through the night

it'll be insane if they do tho, its literally night one, there's no way

I TAKE IT BACK, APPARENTLY IM WRONG????

OKAY NVM APPARENTLY I WASNT WRONG

im half convinced kang is gonna walk in or smth tho

YALL IM SCREAMING, HE FULL-ASS JUST HEEHEED

THEY ARE FRIENDS

AAAA THE LYRICS

I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH

THEYRE SO PLAYFUL WITH EACH OTHER

WHAT THE HELL

what I wouldn't give to be that driver rn

THE ARM OVER THE SHOULDER???????

THEYRE LITERALLY SO IN LOVE?????????

OMG

PIMFAH

MY WIFE

I rly wish that screenshot was better but the wifi is being stupid for no reason (which isn't surprising since this is Australia and we have the shittest wifi there is)

anyway IM SO SURE JUNE IS GONNA SHOW UP TODAY

GIVE👏US👏LESBIANS👏

DID I NOT SAY IT?

I WAS RIGHT YALL

AAAAAAAAAAA

LITERALLY IMMEDIATE

AS SOON AS THE OTHER MAJOR FEMALE CHARACTER WAS INTRODUCED, B O O M, LESBIANS

I VERY MUCH APPRECIATE THIS

although I wasn't expecting it to be teacher/student

she is just a trainee teacher, but its still a bit ick

idk tho

I guess we'll see what they do with it

gay panic in real time

ooh yes ive been waiting for the familial need for an heir thing to crop up, yesyesyes

making me think of drarry now

OKAY SO MAYBE I WAS WRONG

MAYBE HE DOES LIKE HER

but the things I said are still true

the evidence we've gotten before just now havent really felt solid enough to argue that kang likes pimfah

but now... I guess I have to agree

pimfah knows/suspects/ships it and no one can convince me otherwise

IM WHEEZE-LAUGHING THIS IS HILARIOUS

THE MUSIC PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND?????

I CANT RN

SO THIS IS DEFINITELY A DREAM SEQUENCE, RIGHT?

I wasn't expecting imaginary scenes from this series but I deeply appreciate it

I CANT STOP LAUGHING

THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING, SAILOM

YOU SHOULD BE EMBARRASSED

BUT ITS ALSO SUCH A MOOD

also I like kang's shoes

Y E S

I WAS HOPING FOR OPEN HOUSE VIEWJUNE

again, I wasn't expecting it to be teacher/student, but anyway

OH YOU LESBIANN

G3I4ORENHGKLS

I would do the same tho

June is so pretty

and so is view

and so is chimon

and so is Perth

(and so is satang)

(no I will not shut up about my satang and perth siblings agenda, its too good to keep to myself)

NO IM OUT OF IMAGES

on the bright side, it took a lot longer to run out today than it did last week

[casualbluebirdmentality]

do YOU hate Uther Pendragon?

do YOU wish Arthur had gone through with his attempted regicide in S2E8?

...then good news! i wrote a 700-smth word one-shot about Just That!

If you wanna hear me rant about the bonkers way this one-shot came to be, that's down here lol

(...Well, I guess it's not really that bonkers, but to me, it was just such a random little thing that spiraled into something really weirdly motivational, so I think I need to yell the story into the void to process lmao)

Ok so-- yesterday morning, I saw this post in the merlin subreddit (which I'd practically just joined):

And there weren't any in the comments at the time that I saw it, so I responded with this:

Which was quite insane of me for two (2) reasons.

Firstly, it's bc I write a lot privately, but I've never actually posted anything, and it's never been fanfic, but... idk man i just hate Uther. (What more does it take, really, to make someone leap into the unknown and submit themself to the mercy of the internet at large, than to just hate a fictional man So So Much?)

Anyway the second reason is that I tend to over-analyze/labor over every sentence I write, and edit it to death WHILE writing it, so I take so long to write literally anything. But, I wrote this shit:

First thing in the morning (and un-medicated, at that)

In 2-3 hours, a large chunk of which was spent transcribing the entire og fight scene (all dialogue and actions, every notable sword swing) from the moment Arthur first says "I know… what you did to my mother" and Uther orders the other knights to leave the room, to Arthur finally being talked down and gasping out an "Oh lord... I'm sorry" after collapsing to the floor-- all of which was just over a thousand words, even in the most bare-bones, script-ish language. (I only ended up using ~100 of those words as the lead-in to the fic lmao)

And then people liked it?!?!?!?!?

Don't get me wrong, it's not some magnum opus or anything, but like... Idk y'all it just absolutely made me day. I'd been pretty down on myself recently about my writing abilities (and other things lmao) but this made me feel SO much better, like-- damn, maybe this could work out as a career eventually if I ever finish my wips lol, rip. And it was so nice to just write something short without over-analyzing/-editing constantly that I'm DEFINITELY gonna continue doing/posting one-shots like that, which is also really good bc it gives me something more manageable to work on so I can get writing practice in more regularly. Idk y'all I'm just having a great time rn!!!

[lu-kario]

today my dear followers who did not ask for this,

A Very Honest Slenderman(2018) Review!!!

by a creepypasta fanatic and someone who needs to think about smth else to not k- moving onto the "review". (it's not a real review i'm just gonna shit on it obviously)

It's just gonna be a list of things I noticed that bothered me throughout the whole film and made it physically difficult to watch. That was the second movie that took me two days to watch not because I was scared, but because it hurt my brain to finish it. ((((also yes. i am very . VERY . late to the party. i know. don't worry)))

Starting off, the characters are not likeable at all. None of them. They don't behave like actual teenagers. Someone from that directing team was observing high school students for a week with a notepad and was done after thinking they did a good job. I may or may not be autistic and not behave like that either but I've been in high school and have seen stuff. Obviously.

Second of all who just watches adult vids and calls it a night with friends wtf-

Not important . Maybe someone does?? Also these teenagers are created to be so edgy for absolutely no reason ((pointing out that line from ginger girlie saying that the cat should've exploded at the end i'm so fkn glad she was gone first)).

Another thing. Let's get to the star of the mfing show,,, Slenderman .

What they made of him was some kind of a,,, dryad?? Like there's legit some Slenderman Tree in the woods that he walks out of to collect kids and bear them with his big ol' self. Don't get me wrong that concept would be cool on it's own if not the thing that. It doesn't suit him at all. And the Slenderman Summoning Video as well- wth was that . You're telling me some bells (something added for the sake of the movie I suppose bcuz i never heard of that) with added five stock images of what'd you get if you typed 'illuminati' giving you a high speed seizure attack are gonna summon this big boy? The reactions are so hilarious to me as well WHY WERE THESE GIRLS PANTING AS IF THE DAMN SLENDERMAN WAS THERE WITH THEM give me a break. That would hint at least Slendy is some kind of . illuminati-ish experiment left off in the local woods grabbing kids to expand the tree for decades? i suppose.

Mostly what they did with him is giving marble hornets series but make it a on-budget parody that relies for it's damn life on shock value- flashing images constantly, having those ominous shots to make you feel something and lemme tell you i did feel something(nauseous). Also having the original contest images in the film was fucking hilarious so uh +1 for that but that's the only thing i actually liked.

Yet another thing! Nothing in this movie felt genuinely connected to each other,, if it was an artistic interpretation or smth idk i think i wouldn't mind as much but don't be calling this a damn full fleshed out movie.

The Slendy in this movie felt like a totally different being than the original it was sad to watch.

the effects were ,,,alright? like nothing to hate but nothing specific about it to like . it was just alright at best.

very last thing unless i've decided i remembered smth else-

THE LIGHT WORK IN THIS MOVIE WAS SO FUCKING TERRIBLE I HAD MY SCREEN LIGHT SET ON MAX AND STILL COULDN'T SEE A DAMN THING AND GUESS WHAT? THAT WAS THRU OUT LIKE 80% OF THE DAMN MOVIE

enough of that no matter if you enjoyed the ranting have a great day dont watch this movie unless you wanna suffer uhhhh have this cool cat pic of my cat idk what to put here anymore

edit

oh yeah i remember now

WHY DID SLENDY WALKED SO SEDUCTIVELY.............WHAT,

bro was swinging his hips seducing the victims i am done goodbye

[tiredgoodomensfan]

GOS2 hillywood + poster dissection (spoilers!)

so, i think we all lost our collective MINDS today

when I saw that we have the release date I actually started SCREAMING (I got lots of dirty looks.) anyways I have lots and lots of thoughts that I just need to get down somewhere so buckle up cuz this will be long, rambly, and prolly won't make a whole lot of sense.

First of all, huge props to the whole hillywood team, this was a really high-quality production and I loved every second of it. I'm watching the behind the scenes vid while writing this and it's really interesting to see how such an amazing video was produced. so much work was put into it and it really paid off. Thank you guys so much for making this!

So, the scene where Crowley falls. this could just be something fun hillywood decided to do, but the fact that they worked so closely with Neil makes me wonder if this is something that we might get more of in s2. The scene with the fire (which was awesome btw) maybe not be so much, but Crowley falling from what seems to be heaven into a puddle of what I'm guessing is maybe meant to be sulphur? (I don't really know what sulphur is so correct me if I'm wrong, I'm just spewing stuff here so it could be complete nonsense) idk to me it seems like foreshadowing, especially considering that Crowley's fall isn't discussed in that much depth in s1. idk that could just be me stretching cuz I want pre-fall Crowley SO BAD. and OH MY GOD IN THE VIDEO THEY JUST CONFIRMED ITS MEANT TO BE SULPHUR I FUCKING SGHA ITS THE FALL FROM HEAVEN I KNEW IT.

The post-parody scenes AHHH. first of all, I loved how they stayed pretty much word accurate to the show, with only necessary things changed. I loved Neil in this, Maggie, and Daniel. Does more Daniel mean more Adam? he could just be there for like a fun cameo roll but it got me thinking. if weird shit was happening the first thing Crowley and aziraphale are gonna think is 'Ah shit it's the Antichrist again innit' So maybe more adam s2? idk.

(Maggie was literally me. 'DO THEY HOLD HANDS??' girl is literally the entire good omens fandom)

('the wait and see clause' SO FUNNY BUT ALSO SO MUCH PAINN)

Ok, poster time.

First off, the way they're sat back to back?? no space between them?? and IS AZ READING TO CROWLEY?? :( They make me wanna vomit /pos

Also, I noticed something in the back. a shop outside with 'give me' on the front? this could just be a generic shop but I feel like everything in the poster is deliberate. doesn't seem to mean much now but I reckon we should keep our eye out in the background of any other posters and teasers and stuff we might get. this could just be me going bonkers cuz I've been deprived of new content for SO LONG but idk I could be onto smth.

I also wanna talk about the lighting decisions. the bright light shining on aziraphale, cuz yk- he's an angel but also a little glimmer on Crowley? now it could be interpreted as like 'Oh not all hope is lost for him' but I see it differently. the fact that Crowley's light is coming from below and Azi's is coming from above?? bit on the nose. I think the fact that we've been told that Gabriel is gonna feature heavily in this, is gonna make us primarily focus on heaven (the biggest light being on Az) but that doesn't mean hells gonna be out of the picture. I think, that through the first few episodes, we're gonna be focusing on Heaven harassing Az and we won't notice hell spying on Crowley (Crowley's light being smaller, yet still very much there)

More on hell, something I didn't notice at first was a lil tiny lizard in the bottom left-hand corner. I'm pretty convinced this is supposed to be shax. I mean, we've been shown that like all the demons have some sort of animal form (Beelzebub- fly, Crowley- snake, ligur- chameleon, etc., etc.) but as far as I know, we haven't had a lizard like that yet. it has a little fire tail and it's pretty deliberately hidden (either that or I'm fucking stupid cuz I didn't notice until like 10 mins ago) I think the fact that he's not the center focus is again about how through this hell will just be kinda spying on them rather taking a center focus so that we have our guard down and are like 'WOAH' when hell does smth. but you can't fool ME Neil, I'm expecting it.

Final little closing thoughts on stuff that could be irrelevant but maybe isn't. The clock- both hands on 6, 6 episodes, what else is 6? Is half 6 a significant time? or is it just cuz 666 and like haha devil number? the old ass camera in the bottom right-hand corner, eluding to maybe olden days Crowley and aziraphale pictures?? I would die. maybe also references a scene abt the invention of the camera?? or is it just there cuz Az is nostalgic and likes antiques. am I going insane or is that a new Crowley haircut?? Crowley and Az being back to back they LOOK SO DOMESTIC ILL SOBB

again, thank you so much hillywood for this amazing parody. and thanks Neil for FINALLY answering our prayers while leaving us with like a MILLION more questions, love you Mr. Gaiman

if you actually read this, thanks! that means that someone else is as obsessed and slightly mad as me. let me know if you've got any other ideas or annotations, I love literally everything good omens so even if you think it's a reach I WANNA HEAR IT!

Edit: I'm a fukin idiot and also blind. there are 3 lizards, and literally everyone noticed them (I can't find the third one (I'm pretty sure I need glasses)) BUT YK I still reckon it's shax. or maybe the erics?? oo it might be the Erics now im thinking abt it

Another edit: I'm actually REALLY fuckin stupid. the give me sign outside is Nina's shop 'Give me coffee or give me death' (I kinda forgot there were new characters this season) BUT YK maybe still smth?? idfk

[fma03envy]

Bored so I'm stating my thoughts on every DRS swimsuit sprite

(Part 1: THH)

Makoto: it's like. Fine lol. Kind of generic but totally fits with his "totally average high school student" thing

Taka: Accurate. Next.

Byakuya: Torn between "this looks stupid" and "it's Byakuya we're talking about here, of course he'd wear something stupid and think it would make him look more refined ". Like this looks bad but it's absolutely in character

Mondo: Eh. Feels almost kinda young for him but I don't really have any better ideas and it does fit his color scheme well

Leon: Flaming hot cheetos vibes but I'll take it

Hifumi: Fitting but makes me even more mad that he's stylized Like That. All the other characters had plausible proportions I'm SURE you can do that for a fat character too. Either they all should be cartoony or none of em should be

Hiro: I guess I get what they were going for but this is too patterned and also not his color scheme at all. Maybe I'm just saying this bc I think orange and green basically never match but yeah

Chihiro: BEAUTIFUL AMAZING SHOWSTOPPING PERFECT. My favorite outfit so far. Dr may have utterly failed in basically every aspect of Chihiro's writing but they did not fail with this outfit she looks amazing

Sayaka: This looks dumb sorry. Idk what they were going for but like. Why. The top and bottom of her suit don't even match? (Admittedly her hair being draped over her shoulders weirdly like that is just for this sprite not all of them but still)

Kyoko. Like. Technically it's better than Sayaka's aesthetically in that at least it matches with itself and her hair ties (in most of the sprites at least. For some reason they're discolored in this only fullbody one.). Still. The thing about me is that I have trouble imagining Kyoko wearing literally any feminine clothing ever so I see this and my mind just goes "OOC" even though she literally also dresses fem in canon

Hina: Worst one yet. She's literally ultimate swimmer why would she wear this it's impractical and dumb. Also the color scheme is soo different from the normal desaturated red+white+blue she normally wears. The bandaid is an ok touch but that's the only good thing about this design

(I'm sorry Toko's expression is like that; this is the only close-to-fullbody DRS sprite on the wiki)

Toko and Syo (kind of the same outfit so I'll judge it together): I really like this one! Toko having a skirt thing so no one can see her tallymarks but Syo taking it off is a good touch. I wouldn't have thought of blue as her color but it actually really works (and reminds me of Komaru's uniform...)

Sakura: Cute! Tbh a bit more frilly/cutesy than I would have expected but she looks nice :)

Celeste: SECOND FAVE AFTER CHIHIRO I <3 IT. Generally Celeste's aesthetic fucks so hard (only tiiiiny criticism I have is that the lace on her suit would look nicer if it was matching in size with that on her headdress)

Junko: Why so plain??? Like it really doesn't seem to fit with the gyaru aesthetic at all (admittedly I don't know much about said fashion subculture though so I def could be wrong it just looks very different to my eye). Like I feel like this is what Hina should have worn it looks like smth actual swimmers would wear in a race

Mukuro: REAL LIXED FEELINGS HERE. On the one hand, this is very fitting for someone pretending to be the ultimate fashionista; you've perfectly captured that vibe. On the other hand, why should she have to pretend to be Junko in this context whyyy. (So like generally this aesthetic is good she's getting a good grade in Junko mimicry but the "Mukuro is butch" part of my brain is NOT a fan she shouldn't HAVE to wear that)

Monokuma: Sure lol. this is fine. Why do you need a swimsuit when you're normally naked

[fairycosmos]

i’m in pain knowing my family, my mom mostly, loves me but they don’t like me. they don’t see me as anything important, they don’t care to know me, they don’t really care if i’m around or if i’m not, they’d only care if i finally killed myself and even then it breaks my heart to think about how they’d remember me. none of them have ever really had good things to say about me and i wonder if that’d change. i want to hope so, i’ve always hoped i was a good person and i feel like everyone else who’s loved me has reminded me i am, but my family never could. they never saw me that way and my mom hated who i was for as long as i can remember, even as a child. i have 4 siblings so it’s hard too because i know it’s not just who she is, it’s something about who i am, and i know her perception doesn’t define me but it never made it easier to live with that.

it’s been harder lately and yesterday she told me how unpleasant i am to live with, and she thinks i’m living here to make her miserable to make up for my miserable childhood (lol) so i left her alone, i didn’t see her the rest of the day but i just saw she went to the store and bought my favorite fruit )): things like that make it all harder to understand, and i feel guilty because i don’t feel like i deserve anything from anyone, despite knowing it’s not all my fault. i wish i could fix everything. life has seemed sadder than ever the past couple months.

+ i just sent an ask about my mom buying me my favorite fruit n it was just a vent but i kinda wanted your insight on that part of it, it seems like smth you’d understand?? only sending this one to let you know it was “important” (i know you say to do that if you miss it) just in the sense that i’m looking for someone to talk about it a bit i guess idk this is just word vomit now but i love youuu n thank you for reading bby hope you have a good day 💘

hi love, i'm really sorry you have to put up with this sort of thing from your own family. i know that living with this sort of dynamic from those closest to you, esp during your formative years, can genuinely fuck up your sense of self-wroth and your perception of what you deserve, and i don't want to minimize that by offering platitudes or easy solutions. but i did want to say that the way your family treats you is not a reflection of you, and they do not get to dictate whether or not you're a good person or whether or not you're loveable. obviously, it's completely natural to want to be truly seen and appreciated by them, and it's totally understandable that not having access to that bond is incredibly painful. it's an incredibly difficult thing to have to learn to live with, and it often makes adulthood even harder than it already is. but just because they're not able to be a healthy support system for you, doesn't mean you don't deserve one. doesn't mean you've done anything wrong. and it might feel like bullshit for a long time, trying to convince yourself of that, because maybe your self-esteem isn't the highest due to everything you've been through - but it's true. knowing that doesn't make it easier, but grounding yourself in that truth whenever you begin to spiral into self-hatred will keep you from drowning in it. and i'm not trying to diminish how hard this must be for you, because it is absolutely not fair that you've had to live your life feeling like your family wouldn't even care if they lost you - that is incredibly sad to hear, and i'm so sorry. it sounds like your mother has issues that stem back from before you were born, honestly, and the fact that she could raise one of her kids to feel that way is indicative of her emotional immaturity more than anything. i think the people who have loved you how you deserve to be loved were able to do that because you ARE a wonderful person who is worthy and deserving and good.

anyway, i know you wanted my thoughts on the second half of this, i just wanted to be honest with you ab this message. the bit about the fruit - i do understand that, a lot. i think a lot of people who have complex relationships with their mothers do, and that's what makes it all so hard. it would be much easier if we could just say we hate them and move on, wouldn't it? but there's so much between a parent and a child that makes it impossible to do that, in many cases at least. i think it's important to acknowledge that numerous things can be true at once while trying to process your feelings for her. it's true that she hasn't treated you very well, it's true that she cares for you and your wellbeing deeply (though not in a way that you may always understand, and not that that excuses any of the shit shes put you through), it's true that you don't feel like she appreciates you for who you are and you're mad at her for that, it's true that you crave recognition from her at the same time. these emotions might seem contradictory and confusing but they're all just a part of the nuance and of the complicated relationship you have with her. it's entirely possible to be grateful for the fruit and still acknowledge that you deserve better than this. which you do, and it's alright if you can't quite believe that right now, but i hope you get the chance to work on it w a professional at some point so you're able to start viewing the situation from a place of support for yourself, and not from a place of disdain. your brain is partially a product of how you were raised and so you can't always trust what it feeds you, you know? anyway, i'm sorry this got long and i'll quit rambling now, but yeah - i really do get this and you're truly not alone in it. if you ever need a friend or anything, give me a message. love u love angel and please take care of yourself. mwah x

[tsuki-sennin]

Funny how I keep missing a weekly mark with Pretty Cure specifically, huh?

I swear it's not intentional, but perhaps I oughta shift it to be (officially) biweekly. Y'know, get it all in shape for myself. Idk, I'll figure it out.

Anywho, Pretty Cure~! With Sora-chan and Mashiro-chan~! Maybe expand it to Ageha-san and Wing-kun sooner or later~! Who knows~!

Spoilers, I guess...

-Oh shit, brass.

-Man, that reminds me of when I'd watch Batman: Brave and the Bold when I was a kid.

-Made a bestie~!

-Off to school with ye

-"Whoa! School?"

-What, you think they don't have school up there? I'll have you know that Sora-chan was a graduate of the Skyloft Knights Acade- oh wait, wrong series.

-That borb is so shaped.

-Besties~!

-"Oh come on, back in the old country, everybody's got a free pass to education!"

-Damn, confession in episode 3? Hot damn.

-Sorashido Academy!

-...Cleaning time~!

-Never have you seen a house so clean.

-Not even lunch time.

-"...if Sora-chan were a bird... would she be a skylark?"

-Speaking of birds...

-No offense Yoyo-san, you're a proper GILF.

-Went like one and a half feet into the air.

-Homegirl wants compulsory education.

-Off she goes~!

-Awwwww

-...I have to wonder how like

-Legally this all works.

-I didn't bring this up at all during Delicious Party, since all the Cures were humans and attending the same school from the get go, but it's so strange to me that off-worlders like Hikari, Akagi, and Ellen can just enroll into a school without much issue. Setsuna was officially adopted by Love's parents, so I didn't think too much of her situation but like

-This is consistent across seasons too, which follow the Kamen Rider/Super Sentai logic of "different continuities unless they're not". Is this just like... a universal constant?

-Pafume~!

-Mashiro-less Behavior.

-AGEHA JUMPSCARE

-Hey homegirl, whaddup?

-Parufeito~!

-Hot damn girl.

-"You gay."

-"I AM MASHIROLESS, I AM THE MOST DOWN BAD GIRL IN THE UNIVERSE!"

-Jesus Christ, I was being facetious, what the heck

-You need more friends, girl.

-Make up~!

-Brought to you by Pretty Holic, available from Premium Bandai for one of your kidneys and a couple of teeth.

-Sparkling~!

-"Ah youth..."

-Whoa, grayscale.

-She flee!

-Oh shit, gangster battle.

-Skyland... Divine Fist!

-Disregard safety, acquire Mashiron.

-That thing is "I am down horrendous for you, Mashiro."

-"Oh hey, it's you Kabaton."

-Hot damn, Sora's taken that fourth wall very seriously.

-Desoit!

-I'm assuming Bebop-on's Lanborg summoning works solely through calorie burning at this point.

-Certainly makes wanton destruction efficient.

-He's like a big Metall!

-From the Mega Mans!

-Going up~!

-Kabatonight you're gone.

-Theeeeere ya go! That wasn't so hard, was it?

-Bless you, Ageha-san~!

-...on second thought, no, I fucking hate that Hummer you're driving.

-This car kicks ass, and you can watch Madagascar while you're driving~!

-And then Gloria does the Go Animate dance, smth smth Those Animals Are So Fucking Funny Merge Without Looking Kaboom

-Holy shit, you just

-Guessed that off the cuff, huh

-Sora-chan, ordinary middle school student~!

-Ah, speaking of which

-Wow, can't wait for Episode Seven~!

-Episode Seven~!

-Very cute.

-...that ribbon seems very small.

-There he is. The borb.

-"Thank you, Granny Goodness."

-Watch, she's gonna actually gonna be like the real thing and be an agent of the Underg.

-I'm kidding, obviously, but that'd be one hell of a thing to put into your show for young children.

-"Please don't eat Sora-chan alive, she's very sensitive."

-Skyland~! Y'know, it's just a few warps away from Gran Ocean. Just swing a left from Hope Kingdom, then just a slip south of Labyrinth.

-Mashiron~!

-Skalandinavia~!

-"Wow, your denial is so obvious, you must be from Copenhagen!"

-They're bullying this nerd so hard.

-"I'm the shyest bitch in the fuckin' universe, yo!"

-So... Sensei... are you single?

-Cannot tell a lie. Momoi Tarou would be proud.

-Aphorisms~!

-Her base instincts take over~!

-"Damn, this girl's quick!"

-...I have to ask, how does Sora's Skyland body work? Specifically, the bones.

-The people believe~!

-Into fucking ORBIT

-Meteorite Strike!

-Awwwwww

-Everybody loves Sora-chan, the shyest fucking supersonic athlete in town~!

-I'm assuming Mashiro's a second year at this school if she already has a favorite spot on the roof and deep lore on the school's founding.

-Be yourself, sky cadet!

-"I lied! I'm not shy at all! I've been keeping it all a secret! I am a goddamn superhero!"

-Hero Gal~!

-Oh my God

-Kabaton's the boss.

-Melonless bread.

-Like Seedless Melon.

-Fucker took the tree!

-Ready Go!

-Right, what do you do?

-Petal Blizzard!

-Gotta say, I really missed having dynamic battlefields, the Delicious Field got really boring after a while.

-...wonder if this is where all the setting designers went?

-Go big or go home, I guess!

-Timbeeeeer!

-All fixed up~!

-...guess nobody's really too traumatized by what happen. That's a good thing though.

-Hero Garu~!

-Hooray~! Friendship~!

-Good work today, Mashiron!

-She grows up so fast.

-OH THE LAD

-Cure Wing, here he comes~!

-I'm half picturing Murase-san waiting in the corner of the recording studio, just bobbing in place for the chance to say his transformation phrase.

-I don't think I'll miss Saturday this time.

[noro-noro-noro]

oh yeah the dream i had was weird, smth like my dad remarried 2 people & then i sort of reconciled with someone i have no intention of getting along with at the mall & then there was a choose your own adventure novel

i think my dad remarried or something to another married couple. the mom was nice. the 2nd dad was weird. we had to move into their house, which was kind of like the guest room in my mom’ shouse except with like brown wood panelling & it had beams. like it was good enough. tthhe 2nd dad was an inventor of some kind? i remember weird gadgets & stuff. they also had a bunch of kids who were all fairly young, max 14. maybe 3 or 4 of them. i was thinking that i should try to make an effort if these people were supposed to be my parents too rather than treating them like strangers in my house. it’s not even my house. 

scene cut. i’m at the mall. the mall also somehow feels old-fashioned & a bit different. kinda cozier tbh rather than like all the white lights & white tiles. there was brown wood panelling again. i think christmas decorations were up. i was walking with my friends from college. my worst roommate was there but we were getting along ..? he made fun of my second worst roommate & i laughed bvc i thought it was genuinely funny! & then i heard my 2nd worst roommate behind me say “that’s not funny.” she was wearing some kind of red & green christmas themed sweater, so i guess it was christmas. & i shrugged & said “i don’t really give a shit whwat you think”. she kind of followed behind me looking mad for a while & then pulled me aside in a store & i was like 🙄what & then she like pulled a jacket over my eyes or smth started fighting me. i couldn’t see but she was like trying to hold my arms down so like i ended up biting the middle of her forehead & then going for like the eyebrow muscle. i thought i cut her but i eventualyl got the jacket like off me & onto pinning her arms instead & we both just sat down. her face wasn’t bleedng, which was kind of a relief since i didn’t want her skin in my teeth. 

then i apologized??? why the hell did i apologize to her. i did literally nothing wrong. she’s the one who was like “oh you broke up with your boyfriend? i’m gonna fuck him & lie about my whereabouts for 2 weeks.” idk why i apologized. maybe for biting her. anyway then she started crying & became nicer & was saying some stuff that was leading me to believe that she got dumped by my ex , which even though  my stupid ass dream self apologized to her for no reason i still got excited about the concept of them breaking up because they’re both horrible people & i want them to get in a car crash & then the car explodes & then they neither of htem die but just get inflicted with crippling burns & injuries & then the car explodes again & then they’re at fault so insurance takes them fore verything they have, & their parents are so embarasse dthey don’t provide any financial support (this is my way of getting them out of this fantasy since they’re all fairly decent people. i don’t know how they raised kids so stupid). 

anyway after that my ex showed up out of a fucking black hole that was tearing the mall apart but he was like in a fuckin mech suit or some shit. super powers. it wasn’t like a huge mech eh just had like his litle head on some huge body wearing some kind of superhero outfit and cape in yellow and light gray. ugly. and he was mad. he grabbed my 2nd wworst roommate & i was like “well i don’t care about that bye” & ran home to my dad & my step parents & then my ex teleported into the house. at this point it was like a paused cutscene almost - everything was still moving & the effects were looping but there were like 5 or 6 different options i could do. one of them had the stepmom do some kind of thunder cross split attack that blew him up. good end ^_^ but it wasnt’ the true ending so it looped back to the cutscene.

there was one option that like blew the house away down some kind of hyperspace tunnle but the stepdad was there with his inventions. idk

[blackvail22]

9/22/23 — 1:20am

i hate wanting to be productive in the middle of the night. i was tired all day tdy, and now i just want to do something productive. no!!! i work earlier than usual tomorrow!!!!

im doing my skincare now... i wore makeup tdy so i have no choice but to do it 🤯

im tired still but i dont want to sleep. i feel like i havent been productive enough tdy even though i went to 3 different appointments and within the 2 hours before work i cleaned my bathroom sink (that was incredibly disgusting, i am not exaggerating. no one has cleaned it in like a little over a year. my dad shaves his face there whenever it gets like 5 inches long and doesnt clean the hair out of the sink/on the counter. its gross.), made ramen (it wasnt v good).... at work i walked around almost the whole 6 hours. my feet hurt so!! bad!! after i work. it happens every time. it doesnt help that when i fell down my stairs, my "sprained" foot didnt heal properly. i also hurt my hand at work and have not seen a doctor .... im ngl im like a mess and if i tell anyone abt this theyll tell me its because im fat and need to lose weight WE GET IT. I KNOW. IM TRYING, AND JUST BECAUSE I AM DOESNT MEAN THAT I CANT HAVE SMTH WRONG WITH ME?????

anyways

im tired. like mentally and physically. i had counseling tdy and i told her everything and the time still wasnt full. she shared some things abt her life recently... still didnt fill the time. she didnt respond much at all, but she's grieving, so i understand

im not telling anyone except u and my digital diary about my situation with my ex... i need to stop complaining to people abt him and making it everyones problem when its really my fault i keep letting him back in my life. its bad! ive literally had dreams where he did that *thing* but like in an extremely worse way, and i told myself that i just had to live with it, that i have to get used to it. and, i mean, i guess i do... if i can *** ***** then he can do whatever.

im not even with him... just flirting heavily. he picks up on it, i think so, anyway....

im tired

i saw that u updated ur music playlist you sent to me recently ! so heres a song for u in return

2:51am

idk why it pisses me off so bad but when b says shes ugly it makes me so angry. "why cant i be like the pretty girls?" she is the definition of a pretty girl... she may not see it because people were mean to her growing up but its like... ive cried SO much because of how pretty she is. my parents call her the pretty girl, people at school say shes pretty all the time... it just makes me so upset that someone as pretty as her cant see it. and i wish she could, honestly.

and i hate that this makes me so angry. i have so much envy that it rips me apart every second of the day, and i hate it!!!!! im the fat, ugly friend, and i always felt bad for her being friends with me. she says that im one of the prettiest ppl she knows.... if that were true, would she have deleted all the photos of me off of her phone? who knows. and the fact that people compliment her all the time at school and in public should say A LOT about how pretty she is. it happens all the time! and i mean all the time. maybe she doesnt think it was genuine or she forgets? idk... i think the last time a stranger complimented my appearance was a year and a half ago at a taco bell drive thru. the last time i was called pretty (besides when my mom says it) was at leastt 6 months ago. im like distraught because she is literally so beautiful fuck

this is going to make me cry myself to sleep because i cant say any of this to her because this is really just unhealthy of me, like the envy and making me seem like the victim. it just makes me so upset that everyone thinks shes pretty but herself

yeah im def crying myself to sleep gn i work in 11hrs which sounds like a long time from now but i havent slept yet lol

3:16am

ok i lied i messaged her and said "i saw you commented "i wish i was one of the pretty girls" on a tiktok, and i really need you to know that you are the pretty girl. youre so incredibly beautiful not only on the outside but the inside too... it can be rare to find someone like that. i hope youre able to see yourself through my eyes someday and see yourself for what you truly are—beautiful"

i hope it doesnt come off weird

ok i cried and messaged her i should rlly just sleep now

[alasmydearatlas]

thinking about writing again and how a character's biggest flaw is often also their biggest strength

and how no trait is wholly good or wholly bad and it's how you use it and take advantage of it and play to your strengths

and im thinking ab that in terms of relationships

im feeling very insecure in my relationship rn

i guess this kinda our first (second??) really big season of change

it's our second and it's not about me this time

and i have to figure out how to deal with that and be supportative and also take care of myself too

and i'm trying to figure out how i dont want to feel and how i do want to feel and how this can be smth that makes us stronger not just tolerate

and also prevent premptively contempt

scary

terrifying thought

falling from love to contempt

ugh its crazy this is totally one of those chose the relationship times

we in real life now grrr

not in a honeymoon phase

it okay i think we will get back as we settle in

there is just a lot and anxiety is high

right now (in context of our relationship) i am feeling:

disconnected

on the wrong foot

helpless

insecure about what i bring to the table

oversaturated ??

shut out a bit

and i keep thinking about our conversation in the car on the way down from this weekend

and like the phrase "giving up on you" and how he said he didn't want to and i don't want to

but it's humbling that that thought would cross my partners mind even briefly

like not that i think i'm above being broken up with

but like it's grounding and a reality check a bit i guess

and super vunerable

like someone saw me and sees me and still loves me and actively chooses me even when sometimes my actions hurt them unintentionally and so now i am very intrinsically motivated to do better and wear down some of my sharp edges

i wish to work on my patience

and my judgmental comments

and actively pursuing an "us" and putting him into consideration of my plans

and not like rouge lone wolfing as much

i think some of that comes from unmet needs of alone time and independence

i dont want to feel like i disappoint you every time i hang out with my friends

but i also want to be sensetive to the fact that he is alone here in terms of no friends and stuff

and learning to adult alone, like almost totally alone for the first time ever

but i can't neglect myself to do that

and i really don't want to feel like a crutch

that would make me very resentful

and i think that's why i've been acting out a little lately and this weekend

i think maybe some of it comes from feeling trapped and smothered a little bit

our lives are typically much more seperate

and i'm not sure how much to check in and make plans and how far in advance and etc etc etc

idkkkkk

long distance is kinda nice sometimes

not ideal set up fs but it does have some really nice perks

like he was so quiet and distant today but then still called dell ab my power chord???!?!?!?

maybe it's just not about me

idk i'm still feeling really raw and oversensetive

i think we shall have a chats on or after our walk tonight

maybe i invite him back for a cup of tea !! or smth !

okay i go read about biggest flaws in relationships on the internet and come back to reflect in a bit

[castle-dominion]

4x20 the limey

man's in trouble nvm he's the killer Oh no he totally gonna get caught-- NO IS IT GOING TO BE A DOUBLE HOMICIDE WHERE HE KILLS THE CLEANING STAFF TOO? but dang he should have put up the do not disturb sign Love the music btw, 10/10 Girl just take the coat with you Strokes her face... sus U gonna run after him?

u'r a detective u should have figured out he heard you in the box. Lanie is SO right but gosh I cannot believe it has been four years! LP: You remember how he used to be, girl on either arm? Me: Yeah that's how he was but even back in s2 during his book launch party the girl on either arm were his mother & daughter respectively. Also what's with her outfit? What's her shirt? KB: What if it doesn’t work? What if it ends up like you and Javi? ((first names still shock me but they are outside of work rn speaking as friends in relationships ofc it's going to be his first name)) LP: Well, at least we gave it a shot. ((So true bestie)) And so it didn’t work out. So what? Now we can move on, ((Heck yeah)) give or take the occasional booty call. ((Wait what?)) You should have heard me out loud there.

Why didn't lanie get the call first? Wrong times & definitely wrong times Gina? Not gina just some gal Wow castle is very... intense Wow vegas? lmao Is this his rebound or he trying to make her jealous or what??

Not robbed for that but maybe robbed for smth else? Like a really fancy expensive painting? LP: Like you waited too long! KB: THE VIC "Espo" is so weird

How do you have jobs in two countries at once? it's insane. "choices" you say. "unconventional" you say. Like escorts, not necessarily sex workers but also pretty dates. idk.

KB, assuming they have the shared brainwave thing going: Are you thinking what I’m thinking? RC, being horny & silly & a man who likes to party (while theoretically also drawing out the murderer or witnesses): Yeah, that we should throw a party and hire a bunch of models.

What is WITH ryan's outfit today? Not necessarily good not necessarily bad, it's just,, that vest has an interesting hem on it.

Ok so she has her gun out but they are not wearing their vests? Also don't just barge in that's horrible. Announce yourself. *walks into the room wearing Very Little* He just cover's beckett's eyes while she's holding a gun OHHH I just noticed the accent!

That's sweet. I mean he's right. She's right nvm He's also right nvm. Sus. Nobody else tossed it, you're the tornado in the room. Like beckett & Royce. Colin Hunt: He made her put pepper spray in her jacket lining. that's where I found it. KB: Found what? ME: The pepper spray??? That's what he just said Girl you're technically witholding evidence rn but that's so valid bestie. I kind of like him. He's a lot like beckett. Castle seems surprised she went down without a fight but that's bc beckett is territorial, I'm of the perspective that she knows his situation & that's why she didn't fight too much. That or made gates fight her battle.

RC: Yeah, well, sometimes it’s the people we think we know the best that we don’t really know at all.

RC: Well, I guess it’s not outsiders she doesn’t like. It’s just me. *looks at her in her office rly quick* Unless she just put the key there for safekeeping bro. I really like keys. Arco-Rifkin 1130R. feo k1/elevator key (tbh it's good until you need a second key behind the panel in the elevator), c415a, ch751 (that entire line is good), 1284x (kind of useless for me personally lol), 16 120, (plus jigglers & a wire loop heheh), 222343 (I don't remember this one actually), & a cuff key (castle had one of these. btw you're more likely to get accidentally cuffed in some sort of sex cult than accidentally cuffed by cops but whatever it's useful either way), plus of course my lockpick set which I don't carry around bc it is illegal. ugh I love a good key.

KB: He's from scotland yard JE: !! Holy crap that's a great photo there just fist in face for the camera like that lol Castle actin real weird here. Oh that's why. She misses him omo it's so sad a few HOURS?

Nicky Jay: Hell, yeah, I clocked her! Biggie slim,,, hold on that's an oxymoron

Love his hat. Angry sex yeah lol Castle would sympathize with the "women are powerless against my charm" dude

That's a great photo they're using of him lol btw we are missing ryan & castle here, it's beckett espt & hunt. (Maybe ryan is castl'es lunch date lol) & now it's just her & hunt. Weird how they have these situations go in these directions to leave them in groups like this. "total pants" is not smth I have heard before CH: I just wanted her to think I sympathized. And honestly, after meeting Biggie Slim, I do. Me, for just a second: Hold on do you mean you sympathize with her bc he's hot or are you just european? Me: Wait he has a wandering eye & he's kind of an a-hole, you sympahize with her for those reasons. nvm. She Is Not Talking About Random People Right Now.

I totally thought Lanie would hit on Colin (also lanie has a nice rack but I feel bad for her bc I know how much of a hassle boobs can be. The trans man in me & the lesbian in me are fighting rn.) I thought for a sec that the bruise had a fingerprint but no it was the lotion, phew, I was insane for a sec there. Sus how he just goes away to make a call like that. LP, being the realest fellow on the show: Look, maybe it’s the wrong time, or maybe he’s even the wrong guy, but if he is, how long are you gonna wait to find out?

So now we know Dr Parish has been here for ten years. & interesting shot there, we usually don't see that perspective.

Oh he just excused himself bc he was sad & uncomfy. I thought he was closer to her dad's age but maybe it's the way fathers say "I have the prettiest baby girl in all the land" All dads are supposed to interrogate the date lol what if she IS a different person? KB: People change when you’re not looking. HHHH I like how she says "excuse me" before answering her phone & then answers mid-ring, smth movies often don't do. He really is replacement-castle rn, maybe she can make castle jealous. (But he's from over the pond, no wonder esposito doesn't look into him when he's trying to figure out beckett's boyfriend in s5)

Ryan looks normal again. that's good. Looked like a phone number at first Where did she get the photo from?

"I'll bet" At least he is pulling in his favours with his scotland yard mates. Reminds me of the detective slaughter episode except hunt probs does not need to lend out a ferarri for favours.

Ah nepotism. I got my first job because the owners were my mom's cousins. Well that & they were short staffed & I had experience in kitchens. Good thing is I didn't need a resumé. In fact, my previous job was busking so I didn't need a resumé for that either, & then my most recent job I had an impromptu interview on the spot (neither me nor the interviewer were prepared, we just sat down in the cafeteria at my college, I was still wearing my whites from class) apparently there was a competition to see who could hire the most people & they got a bonus for every person they hired. So I haven't needed a resumé for any job I've had in my short life so far. Well there was this one time I had a resumé & technically got a job but then the owner (a guy I knew) went to china & I never actually got hired. So the one job I got with a resumé I never worked & all the jobs I've worked I haven't needed a resumé. Ah, I was just wondering where Ryan was! Castle spinning again. Not super into it. "kill" his marriage & career lol. Silence speaks. They won't be Nigel's prints. It won't be a match. It wouldn't be a good story if that happened to be the case.

Ooh heck YES look at ryan there MMm! Shiny red back on that suit vest & it has stripes not in colour but because the weave direction changes? Beautiful! Rolling up his sleeves? I could die right now. Esposito on the other hand is wearing a plain long-sleeved sweater, the kind of thing I have started wearing recently bc I want to hide my SH scars but it is too hot for a real sweater. That's the kind of shirt I wear at home when I want to be comfortable not fashionable. (Except when I embroider it to look pretty.) The boys finishing each other's sentences hh so good. I also can't help it, Ryan rolling up his sleeves is not smth I thought I needed.

*castle rolls a whiteboard across the screen* *rysposito look over with mild confusion, & only half intrigue* He has some good art skills there apparently I've posted the youtube clip of this, right? bc it was hilarious. & I've posted screenshots of the pictures Castle uses for them, right? Btw, how did castle get the floor plan for the building? ok yes I did post it & I will reblog it BUT THE YOUTUBE ACCOUNT ASSOCIATED WITH THE VIDEO HAS BEEN TERMINATED??? SCREW THAT. I guess I WILL have to film the clip to post. See my other post for my comments

Ooh love the music The boys watching "or they could do that"

CH: He’s British. Trust me, he drinks Oh woman I miss dancing. But it is hard (for me) to dance to that kind of jazz. Aw that was sweet. "Well, that’s because my companion is the most beautiful woman in this room." He has gained a surprising amount of respect from me throughout this episode. It would be nice if he were a recurring character. "These aren’t my people. My people are the ones carrying the trays. Yeah. I grew up on the East End. My mum cleaned flats. Dad worked in a factory. They wanted something better, they just…they couldn’t quite get it." T Eaton Fiddle? Beckett backstory!!! KB: I grew up in the city, and, uh, went to college in California. I struggle to trust "my calling" answers. Nurses who say it is their calling tend to be more in love with being a people-helper than actually helping people. Saviour complex. Like how cops often have the hero complex where they are more in love with being a cop than actually doing things that would get you listed as a hero in my book. She just doesn't answer whether it leaves time for personal life. "Call her the bit the way I'm committed to her" - my older bro That dress is too long to dance in btw, I could never.

Ugly ties lol. Not a good music transition imo... Becks is way too obvious here. "Jean Harrington, bored." LMAO THAT WAS ACTUALLY KIND OF FUNNY Mum totally thought that she switched the glasses

But ew how can u dance with the glass?

Nigel Wyndham: Well, what meets the eye is irresistible. She is being SO obvious

He is really struggling to get there huh. You know what? She should have tripped him & made him break the glass & then they could have stolen all the broken pieces.

She is SO struggling to dance with him rn, just focus on dancing, you can let hunt out of your eyes for a sec babe! "Other activities" lol Casually grabs a caviar & what is even going on? I SAW THAT WEIRD THING IN HER BRA, I WAS SO CONFUSED.

are there ALL of his prints on the case? WHICH finger's partial was on the vic? Also in s1e1 they had to wait ages for the fingerprints to go through, now ryan can just run it three times???

CASTLE Or a better path might be to look into this mysterious number that Naomi wrote on the back of that photo, which is a mystery no longer.

[Castle points to the "W4-1949-898" written on the murder board and then hands Esposito a box of leftovers. for some reason he decides that esposito would like this food, or maybe esposito told him "if you have any leftovers bring em back for me"] JE: Is this lobster, bro? RC: Lucky for you, Jacinda's a light eater. You heat that up, little bit of melted butter-- KB: *ahem* The Case maybe? Succulent? Earthy yet elegant pinot noire? Girl RC: Right. Well, we were going over the file. Turns out Jacinda's quite a little crime solver. KB: !?!? You showed the stewardess the evidence file? RC: No. *laughs/scoffs* RC: I took a picture of it with my phone.

Where IS ryan rn? lmao the coffee is so awkward Does the end justify the means? Maybe, but what if it did not have that end?

Ooh oh heck I love this, look at the way he walks! CH: Well, Then it's a good thing I'm not NYPD. RC: *that's my line!*

Bauer? Really? Ryan is such a smarty pants, it is 200lbs so it must be sturdy, it would not be a flimsy cardboard box. (Maybe a sturdy one ig... it depends on the contents)

MORGAN (AIRPORT SECURITY): Agent Bauer! I need you to step outta there, please. KR: Okay, that didn't sound good. RC: Agent Bauer--what did he expect? CH (on cell): I heard that.

CH: It's clear to me that you've been working harder than a… (!???!?) …one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. DHAFKJDH WHAT He spent a LONG time waiting to tell them it was missiles

lol I love esposito's face when hunt talks about getting into hot water.

All finishing each others sentences, five people same brainwaves

Man just happens to know the name

She demands I gotta supply lmao Man has a nice hat btw Oh wow the plot thickens I hope biggie slim is not the murderer Ok nvm this is sad

*calls for security* *security shows up* *they arrest him instead lol*

Her eyes went so squinty & cute when she smiled there uwu, I might snag a pic tbh. K I did, uploading rn. Tbh I wish that esposito had looked into colin hunt when he was trying to find beckett's boyf in s5 Fun & uncomplicated. That's what my life needs right now. tbh that's totally valid

jdshjkadshfkjdfh pining

Ok so I think I'll record a few clips to post now

[smoosnoom]

omg ily so much u won’t get rid of ur daily compliments for AT LEAST a year (happy one month of daily compliments btw. yeah im that sappy).

it’s like the first thing i saw than i woke up in the morning. ty for making my day!!

i was trying to write smth conscious about highlighted quotes but all my notes r about how cute they r. cause they r so cute and they (or ur writing, to be exact) make me wanna fall in love again so bad. so here’s just my mumbling sorry.

“The love of Will Byers’ life sounds a lot more accurate” mike u r little shit

“Not that he’s noticed. Or anything. Or maybe he has.” lmfao u r allowed mike u basically dating him (u literally wrote the same thing. i noticed after the second read)

“Mike had known Will to be a good kisser” - my boy not only has natural art talent 🫡

““You’re allowed to shock me,” he decides, and Will blinks. “Boyfriend privileges.”” so so so cute 🥺🥺🥺

“the hum of appreciation is worth the risk of being electrocuted” oh to be in love 😭

““You’re ridiculous,” he replies, and it feels like a compliment. Mike pokes a finger into his cheek. “Yeah.”” my favorite loser

““You like me,” he proudly proclaims, and Will groans.” fun fact: irl im more like will but the moment i fall in love i immediately become as insufferable as mike. when i call him loser i mean i am loser

“and even when Will brings up a hand to cover his face, the lights betray him when they shine bright.” IM KILLING MYSELF moon pls have mercy on me

“and he’s smiling. Mike returns it easily. The lights shimmer in response.” THEY ARE SO CUTE HEEELP 😭😭😭😭

electric love!!! honestly fuck børns but this song makes me shiver. i LOVE songs about true love (i mean “lover” is in my top 2 taylor’s albums) and the fact that it fits fic so well. im crying rn and im not ashamed.

also please Stop apologizing or im gonna catapult u into the atmosphere. u didn’t do anything wrong. the fic isn’t to short (i thought u gonna have a break at least for a couple of weeks after spiderwill fic) and they r not ooc. they r just dumb and in love.

okay. sorry if it doesn’t make any sense.

love u, bye 🫂🫂🫂

can't believe i didn't notice our one month anniversary ☹️ so upsetting omg ill put it on my calendar !!!!! 📆🖋

i hope ur day went well :D also that ur day began when i was Just going to bed . my fault for sleeping at 4 am 🫡

LLOLLL omg im so happy u thought so !!!! i . hate writing established relationships but im so glad u enjoyed it :D ive never been in love so it's all going off guesses :]

if they ever get together u know mike would be the Smuggest mf AROUNDDD he's bragging abt will constantly i just know it

omg us being on the same mental wavelength . crazy !!!!!!

oh to be in love </3

somehow that is the most surprising thing u could have told me !!!! u seem very . idk . the sort to keep things To Yourself, altho maybe that's a side effect of the anonymous thing !

?%;*=,= IM BEING EJECTED INTO THE ATMISPHERE ???? ok Fine 🙄 im not sorry . but yayay i just had a cute little idea and wanted to write it out asap and it means the world to me that u enjoyed it 🫶🫶 thank u so much for ur reassurances they and U mean everything to meeee

love u :D bye !! 🫂

[sunghun]

enhypen teaching you how to ride a skateboard

requested; yes!

warnings; mentions of blood?? idk

note; i can’t skateboard for the life of me but the thought of skater!boyfriend enha just hits different

희승 | heeseung;

you don’t even have to ask him to teach you

ya’ll will just be chilling at the park

and suddenly he turns to you and is like

“hey babe wanna learn how to ride a skateboard?”

at first you’re kind of skeptical....

“do you even know how to ride a skateboard??”

and he’ll just look at you like :[

so you agree and he’s actually a really good teacher

he’s very patient

doesn’t mind if you lose your balance and fall on him

“you can do it y/n i believe in you!”

if only you believed you :’)

no but when you can finally ride by yourself he will be The Most Proud™️

“do you see that? that’s my baby!! woohoo go y/n!!!”

pls he’s so embarrassing

but you love him anyway

제이 | jay;

jay as ur hot skater bf.....

now there’s a thought

when you first met him he came off as kinda cold and unapproachable

but really he was just shy and didn’t know how to talk to you

okay i’m getting off topic here so maybe i’ll make a separate post about my thoughts on this idk

BUT

now that you guys are together

people are like . majorly confused

bc you’re so nice? and easy to talk to??

and jay is. well. jay

but one day you two were taking a walk together and being all cute and whatnot

and you happened to pass by a skatepark

and you just make an offhand comment about how cool the kids there look and how you wished you could do that

so naturally jay is just like “umm hello i’m right here??”

and thus behind him trying to teach you

key word: trying

because apparently you have like . really bad balance

“angel, i love you, but please try holding onto my hand a little less tight.”

he’s so soft and gentle with you tho 🥺🥺

and everyone is just like omg. he does have a heart after all <3

제이크 | jake;

he will get so soft if you ask him to teach you how to ride a skateboard

literally is just the 🥺 emoji

“ you mean 🥺 you want me to teach you 🥺 how to skateboard 🥺 ??”

“yes....? i mean if u don’t want to-“

“I’LL DO IT.”

will be so supportive even if you fall flat on your face

“nice one babe!!”

but if you actually get hurt you’ll probably have to stop him from calling an ambulance or smth

“Y/N you’re BLEEDING.”

“babe i just skinned my knee it’s not that bad”

once you do learn how to skate tho....

you two will be sickeningly cute like wearing matching flannels and stuff.

pls ya’ll are the softest pair of skaters 🤧

성훈 | sunghoon;

he’d probably act like it’s some huge inconvenience at first

“i mean if i have to 🙄”

but if you even think about asking someone else to teach you he’ll turn into the poutiest baby

“i mean i could always ask jay-“

“sorry what was that i can’t hear you over the sound of you BOYFRIEND trying to teach you how to ride a skateboard.”

might pretend he doesn’t care to try and be ‘cool’ but if you get hurt for Realsies he would absolutely freak out

but like. quietly

after like a week of constantly skinning your elbows and knees he just shows up one day with elbow and knee pads

and if you ask him what they’re for he’d just be like

“i don’t like seeing you get hurt.”

could’ve fooled me with all those times he laughed his ass off when you fell off the board

anyways once you learn how he would be soooo cocky about and brag to literally

“yeah i guess you could say i’m like the greatest teacher ever.”

선우 | sunoo;

why do i feel like sunoo would be the best teacher??

when you ask him he would be so excited.

omg can u imagine

matching skateboards 🥺🥺

is so so supportive

but will still laugh hysterically if you fall off and aren’t in extreme pain

“aww i’m sorry u fell baby :( are you okay?”

“sunoo you were cackling like 30 seconds ago”

would let you wear his beanies for ‘extra protection’

will probably be more excited than you when you can ride by yourself

“my baby’s all grown up now :’)”

going on skatepark dates <3

정원 | jungwon;

would offer to teach you after seeing you sitting by yourself and just watching him

“are you sure wonie?? i don’t wanna intrude on smth that’s just yours”

but of course he’s sure :(

he wants to share everything with you <3

would let you use his favorite board just bc you said it was pretty once

he’d be really patient and mostly let you go at your own pace

won’t say anything about how hard you’re gripping his hand/arm

always has bandaids on hand in case you get hurt

lowkey gets a little sad once you can do it by yourself

bc now you don’t have any reason to hold onto him :(

but then you start holding his hand while you two skate together so he gets over it pretty quick

니키 | niki;

“hey babe have you ever tried skateboarding??”

underestimates just how bad you are

like when you told him you couldn’t balance yourself on a skateboard to save your life

he just thought you were being dramatic

but after the third time of you not being able to skate by yourself for 5 seconds without falling off

he was like “okay maybe i was wrong”

after that he’s a lot more careful

tries to be encouraging

“omg baby you stayed on the board for 10 seconds before face-planting!! good job!!!”

buys you your own skateboard for your birthday

will probably write something cringey like ‘niki + y/n 4ever’ inside a heart on the bottom of his board

would 100% try to teach you how to do tricks the second you can ride by yourself

all in the name of love of course