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#but if i dont make myself do something ill just sit there for hours
pocparks · 2 years
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u ever have to like,,, force yourself to do things that you enjoy?
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widevibratobitch · 5 months
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omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee
#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time#and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again#have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind#ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her#that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right#to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel#that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week#and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes#'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like#i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying#a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again#because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it#i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao#oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour#pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA
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skitskatdacat63 · 8 months
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Lmfao my mom was getting on me abt not having enough to do this upcoming semester so I decided ah okay I'll add another class. And that's perfectly fine. But the one I picked results in the majority of my schedule being generally unaffected and still lax, but my Thursday being absolutely fucked.
For reference, on every other day I'd spend like less than four hours in class/commuting(anywhere from zero hours to almost four), but Thursday, its almost 9 hours combined 😭 which is like fine with me, but I think ill despise thursdays after this, AND MY BIRTHDAY IS ON A THURSDAY :(
#she doesnt like the fact that im practically free on Fridays#<- online class that doesnt meet on that day#so ah i hope this balances out sjkfkflg#the way scheduling in my school works has such a weird affect#my mon/wens/fri are gonna be so chill and then tues/thurs is just....something#it makes it worse bcs one of my classes only takes place for a section of the semester#and that class is mon/wens so im only gonna be online after that#though i still think ill have to meet w that professor bcs there is in fact reasoning for that class to be so short lasting#but tues and thurs is just stuff that ill never get any reprieve from lol#four classes in one day. we'll see how it goes 🥰🥰#also thurs will be interesting bcs i will have two classes just abt middle eastern politics#i came across a class on the arab-israeli conflict and wanted to take it bcs its obv very relevant rn#and then the one i just scheduled is also abt middle eastern politics so i really am going to be thru the ringer#not that its a bad thing at all!! i just mean its interesting how relevant this semester will be and how im just getting intensely informed#anyways i think the way i schedule would be a nightmare to anyone else#i try to schedule every class after 12(or 11 at least) so then all of them are crammed right after one another#and i wake up an hour before class and leave myself that meager time to get ready and commute lmfao#my friend asked me when i eat lunch. and im like uh ;;; never? 🥰#lol dw i do eat but like i treat my time on campus like how can i pack this as densely as possible#i dont like sitting around by my lonesome it makes me depressed dhfkkg#also i think i will actually kms with all the writing im goong to have to do this semester#that is my reasoning to my mom abt why she shouldn't be pissed at my supposed lack of activity#like im taking so much thats emphasized with writing. dont worry i will be in fact budy#*busy#catie.rambling.txt
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#ever sit like a corpse in your own body?#im doing a job i wasnt designed for. theres this funny thing we do in academia where we beg for money. write in consise phrasing why we#deserve funding. what it is about our project what it is about our personhood that makes us deserving. what we're doing in our present to#give back and ensure a better future. and i can pull together a description of a nervous kid who couldn't read but loved to learn anyway.#who didnt kno how to hold proper a conversation until college and so tried and got better at ppl. who wouldnt let a language problem get in#the way of information gain. who cares about making complicated info visually digestible. and that's a nice story. but it falls apart when#projected into the future. what r u doing for the future? im just trying to continue existing#dont u want to help other ppl like u? sure but i dont have anything nice to say to them. does it ever get easier? no. it probably never will#ur brain was not built for reading. sometimes things r just terrible and u have to accept that. develop a crippling mental disorder or do#something where u dont have to read. see. not helpful. bad attitude. im just too full of blood and broken glass. all my achievements r#stained red and it hurts to look at them. to get myself to function i have to squeeze so tight i can feel the strain in my head. and even#then its not enough. do u kno what its like to spend ur whole life building something only to watch it burn to ashes in front of u? just a#broken machine rotting away underground where no one will see it. but dont let things fester. speak up if somethings wrong. and say what?#lmao i wrote this last night and then today when my advisor was like: hows it going? do u feel like u have enough time to get everything#done? and i had the gall to be like *voice strained high to prevent crying* its alright i think ive got enough time. bc yea technically i#think there r enough hours in yhr day that if i really tried i could get it all done. but that doesn't count the time i spend laying with#thr absolute desolation of my mind. so no. there isnt enough time bc im not doing well. but there's nothing he can do abt it so ya kno#whats the point in talking abt it except to say ya sorry im such a wretched miserable person. i dont kno how to fix it. my enthusiasm is#hidden under layer upon layer of pain. i burnef out before even getting here and im only making it worse#but whatever ill see my therapist Tuesday#unrelated
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rapidhighway · 1 year
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i have to go get a pen
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bingobongobonko · 1 year
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thinkinn im havin one of THOSE days but it makes me distressed when i feel disconnected from the world in general. why wouldnt it yk, i just dont really feel there. haven't done much today, nor moved admittedly. guess ive just been overwhelmed and im feelin it now. i dont feel like a person and its a little scary
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ethernetmeep · 1 year
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everythings fine except the curtains are on fire and oh fuck the house is on fire but its not just the house its me too and im sitting in the kitchen on a chair on fire and. I . Am not having a good time. Holy fuck i havent been having a good time for like two hours
#cybers vent territory#yeah…#ignore this its like 12 am here but#oh my GOD im not okay right now#like i feel so gross#i took a bath earlier too im not even actually dirty i just feel… eurgh#ive felt like this for a few hours and have been trying to ignore it but it just sucks#and i hate it cause. i dont wanna feel like this#i hate feeling weird and gross I NEVER. feel weird and gross#but i do right now because i just got reminded and.. ugh#i keep reminding myself and being dumb#so its like essentially my fault im just. eurgh im a mess#it does not help i feel SO uncomfortable and im not even doing anything im just sitting here#uggh… i dont like it..#maybe its all my emotions i wasnt feeling spilling out at night or something.. idk…#all i know is i am. feeling gross. and i hate it.#i literally dont know what to do to stop feeling this way..#but ill be fine.. probably#oh boy! i sure do hope i learn how to balance my own needs! pukes everywhere#BUT THATS THE THING i know.. how to.. i think.. im just. dumb#like i know when to take alone time. but im also a dumbass#i could be spoonfed warnings and still walk through cause i wanna be nice and wanna be curious and just. make myself upset#like right now#like im upset. not upset like mad but. uncomfortable. nauseous. because im being Stewpit#does that make sense???#i donr know#i dont really care actually its very late#ill probably delete this at some point#who knows#anyway im back to pokemon or. sleep. i donr know what ill be doing.. just trying to get less ‘i want die’ feeling
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#ANYWAY LET ME COOK. im not a good chef but i can at least cook an egg lemme see what i got...
This is leagues ahead of Jo as per Substitute Father so I'm sure you'll do great <3 NOT TO SET THE BAR LOW... Arakawa POV part of that was sooooooo cute but I am of course VERY MUCH LOOKING FORWARD regardless of what you've got in the oven :] I think it's funny we always end up with roughly the same concepts but I just shoehorn RGGJo into it instead
DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN THOUGH WITH HOW THE MARKETING FOR YLAD KEPT HAMMERING IN THE SON THING ONE WAY OR ANOTHER... BUT THE SCENE YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT IS FUNNY and honestly half of the things Westerners [<- counting myself just this once] find funny in RGG apparently aren't intentional so what's one more
Substitute Father haunts me since i really don't like it but i also know that One (1) person really enjoyed it so i don't want to delete it SOOO the most i can do at this point is try to write something better as an apology and try to forget.. and hopefully let arakawa FPOV in a better fic..
BUT YEAH LMAO they really werent subtle bout it in retrospect.... teehee..
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stxrslut · 2 months
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cw : based on this, severe hunger, reader taking care of jj, mentions of struggles with money, kook!reader. this blurb obviously contains sensitive topics, I stress that this is in no way to make fun of or undermine these struggles, I know first hand how bad it can get. this is simply something I imagined, and wish to share.
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“jj you’re shakin’,” you note, looking up from your positon against his chest, “whats wrong?” you ask.
he looks down, eyes half lidded, “huh? didn’t catch that baby.” he murmurs, words almost slurred together. you furrow your eyebrows. soemthing is wrong.
“I said you’re shakin’,” you repeat, “you don’t look too good either.” you frown, sitting up now and reaching to feel his forehead. “when was the last time you ate?”you inquire, not quite expecting the answer.
he shrugs, “couple days ago.. dunno, maybe last week.” he murmurs, trying to lay back down. you can’t help but let out a little gasp.
“jj.. it’s thursday.”you stress, face all twisted in concern for your boyfriend who is clearly starving.
he frowns, “yeah, what about it?” he speaks, tone becoming irritable. though you can’t bring yourself to be mad, you’re just worried.
“if you haven’t eaten since last week that means its been at least four days,” you look down, he doesn’t seem even the slightest bit concerned for himself. “that isnt healthy jayj, why haven’t you eaten?”
“take a wild guess sweetheart,” he sarks, “or even better, take one look in the cupboards. you think i starve myself for fun?” he raises an eyebrow, letting out another irritated sigh when you don’t answer.
“I told you to just ask me if you needed money, you can’t just go without food!” you speak exasperatedly, he always does this, refuses to let you give him anything under the pretenses of not wanting to be a 'charity case'.
“don’t need your pity money, f’you wanna do all that fuss ‘bout what’s healthy n’ what’s not then you can leave, m’tired enough as it is.” he speaks, again in that annoyed spitting tone, but you can’t blame him. he must be uncomfortable.
you huff and stand up, knowing he won’t listen right now. you turn to leave, “ill see you later jj.” you speak before going out the door.
he might have thought ‘later’ meant in a few days, but no, you’re going back today. you just have some stuff you need to do first.
you know jj has the means to cook food, and you know he has the means to store it too. he just doesn’t have the actual food. your plan is to go and cook up batches of as much you can, stock up his freezer enough to last him if he needs to go without food again. maybe he won’t take your money, but you’re not going to let him refuse this.
once you’re home you spend hours cooking. you make easy comfort meals like soups and stews. you prepare pasta sauces and some pastry pies. a couple of sweet treats as well. once you’re done theres enough food to last him at least a month by itself.
you pack everything into containers, all ready to store in the freezer. you put a few portions of rice and sauce aside, knowing he’ll need to eat plenty tonight, and that it might take him a few tries to be able to keep it down.
you show up to his house late. when he opens the door to see you he huffs out of irritation, already guessing what it is, “told you not to go buyin’ me stuff.”
you frown, letting yourself in, “didn’t buy it, I made it.” you smile, placing the bags of food up on the counter. but he doesn’t speak. “c'mon jj,” you sigh, “you know I don’t think you’re a charity case, I just want you to be healthy.”
he sighs, “i know you do... just feels like too much y’know, like i dont deserve all this.” he looks down as he gestures towards the food, speaking quietly, self conciously.
“jj,” you frown, “this isn’t special treatment baby, this is basic human needs. of course you deserve food, everyone deserves food.” you come up to him to give him a hug. “don’t ever wanna hear you sayin’ you dont deserve this.”
jj chuckles shakily, finally returning your caring touch, “what would I ever do without you huh?”
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nyx-is-missing · 9 months
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hello! Can you write a Clarisse La Rue x reader where they met before Clarisse got sent to camp halfblood when they were little and were best friends then Clarisse left for camp with no explanation then years later reader goes to camp and sees Clarisse for the first time in years and it’s kinda awkward but cute
thanks :)
This is kinda long sooorrry, to help, the part where she gets to camp (kinda) will be in green
Girls on film 📷
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Clarrise la rue x fem!reader
Warnings and explanations: bad words (take the kids out of the living room she swears) gender is specified cause it was written as wlw, but it doenst actually makes a diference, fluff, like two sentences, there is a kiss in the picture but they dont actually kiss sorry.
Unspecified parent gender for both sides so yall can pick wichever
Trying not to kill myself.
That was what i was doing 15 hours ago, just as any normal teenagers living (or as i prefer saying fighting for the soul to stay on the body) during finals week.
In my room there was nothing but piles and piles of normal work, piles for extra credit, piles of old quizzes to try to get me prepared for the new ones and a dumb incomplete project for photography class that was due tomorrow.
Okay ill admit, i had a month to make that, and all i needed to do was shoot pictures, but that was the problem, i prefer taking pictures of people, their emotions, whatever they might be, just never ceases to amaze me.
And my dumb project made take pictures of....landscapes.
Not too bad, if i had any actual real talent for that type of photography, but i dont, every picture gets ruined somehow, its the lightning, the lack of it, my camera falls, gets full of dirt and i get so mad that i just give up.
That whole speach was necessary for me to explain what i was doing 14 hours ago, and that would explain what i was doing 5 minutes ago.
14 hours ago i decided to shoot the photos, i could try many times before it got dark, and if o was lucky enough i wouldnt go insane before the golden hour, and could actually get some nice pictures.
I grabbed my totte bag taking with me only the necessary, camera stuff, the camera, some snacks and my notebook to upload the pictures before i went mad.
13 hours ago i was running to save my life.
And do you know that moment went you go through so much your mind decides to erase it?
That happened, now, what i do remember, i was sitting in a bench by a calm road not too far from the town, i had got some actually good pictures, some of me, some of the trees, some of a butterfly, maybe three cars had passed by since i was there, driving slowly, always saying hi and doing a thumbs up, normal, friendly people from the town.
And then i heard a noise that shook the trees.
I remember seeing something, but never what, i remember running to home as fast as i could, feeling my heartbeats in my neck, i remember the noise, but the people in the streets looked at me like there was nothing behind me and i went crazy
I remember getting home, having a desperate talk with my parent while they got my suiticase ready, and i dont remember a single word.
I remember a funny looking guy my age that got to my house, with goat legs and a more desperate look, and i remember one last hug before i left.
And thats all, aside from a hell of a lot of running nobody cares.
Aparently i passed out from shock or exaustion because i woke up in a unknown place, at night, in a hospital bed, with no actual doctors other than 15 year olds teenagers.
And a horseman standing in the corner, with quite a intelectual look actually.
And let me tell you guys that after the talk we had, if somebody told me i would marry queen Elizabeth within 4 days, i would just belived it.
Because nothing ever in my life would ACTUALLY beat up the level of crazyness of finding out i DO have another parent, they are just, A FUCKING GOD. GREEK. GODS. AH.
Then, after telling me my whole life was in fact, a big fat lie, the horseman... left.
Telling me i should sleep in the infirmary this night for precaution and that he was going to get me to a cabin tomorrow.
Like that was the most normal thing to ever happen to a human, he said goodnight and left.
While i sat there just trying to...basically form a sentence that wasnt "for fucks sake what the fuck was that"
I would have loved to say that i did slept that night, dreaming about glory and greek myths but that did not happened, at all.
I walked around the infirmary for hours, opening every cabinet and trying to make my mind to something, i searched for my stuff, and thankfully found my camera, with some pictures i hadnt noticed i had taken, one specific had a blurred thing in the forest.
When the first rays of sunlight appeared i got dressed, and decided that, in order to prove to myself (and probably to the mental hospital afterwards) i was not insane, i needed proof that i was actually living, actually there, being a demigodess, thats what they called.
Very few people were up already, and i did received some weird looks, it was clear nobody knew me, that was fine, i didnt knew anybody either.
I walked around taking some pictures, sometimes getting lost, but everything amazed me, the forest, the cabins, the stables, i found the entrance to a beach too, and then i got to the training area, aparently, i stayed far away, god forbid i woke up from this nightmare with a spear in my head, oh no, that would be bad.
Openning my camera i zoomed in the people, my speciality, it was sweet, seeing them trully smile, and not pretend for the picture, it was a genuine feeling the camera would keep forever, i zoomed around other peoples faces, but my camera focused on a face i could never forget, and she looked back at me, and realized i was there, but not that i was me, because she came towards me with a angry look.
Ill admit, the look scared me as hell, so much i tried to pretend i was never taking pictures of her, i slightly changed the angle and kept my face hidden behind the camera.
Do i need to say that did not fucking worked? No? Thank you.
"Who the fuck do you think you are taking random pictures of pe-"
She yanked my camera off of me mid sentence and stopped completely, looking like she had seen a ghost for some seconds.
"(Y/n)?"
"Clari?"
"How- what are you doing here!?"
She asked, with a worried look, still kind of confused, she did this look since we were little girls, and for a moment i had a big deja vu.
Two little girls running around, playing all day, telling each other secrets and stories, running to hug each other eveytime they were close, i still saw that girl in her eyes, but by her previous look, she did not.
"What am i doing here? What are YOU doing here? One day you dissapear without a trace, and your family said you went to a new school even though it was the summer, and now i find you sparring with a spear? You are that too? A demigoddes, i mean?"
I spoke fast, nervous, as if my time in the world with her would end just as it did once.
Instead of responding me right away, clarisse did something that maybe would scare every single soul she knew in the past years.
She hugged me. Hard.
Breathing me in, and not letting me go exactly as you would expect of someone who hasnt seen me in years.
"I couldnt tell you anything... it wouldnt be safe...im sorry, i missed my friend... i missed you."
I just looked at her for some seconds, and then hugged her again, this time i was the one making it extra tight, i was the one going insane by the reconforting smell of her shampoo, praying that she couldnt feel my heartbeats against her chest, and how strong they were.
"Just.. dont leave me again okay? And ill forgive you, i promisse"
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floralhuqzz · 4 months
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Sexual tension (Johnnie Guilbert x fem reader) smut
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·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·
Warning: smut, degradation, choking, petnames, virgin reader,, DONT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18🔞
🦇author: the edit thats in this post is not mine,, all credits to crystalcaskle on tiktok!!! :) I also apologize if theres any misspelled words english is not my first language!
I woke up around 7 am when i decided to make myself some breakfast before i start streaming,, ive started youtube 1 year ago, around that time when i met Johnnie. Ive been living with him and Jake for the past 3 months and honestly its been going pretty good.
“whatcha’ making?”
“oh god dont scare me like that!” i slightly punch him in the shoulder
“sorry sorry.. it smells really good” he puts his arm around my shoulder and i blush.. i had a crush on him since when we first met
“you want some pancakes?” i look at him
“yeah, thanks” he pats my head, making my hair look like a mess
“i hate you” i roll my eyes
“you love me” he laughs as he sits down
‘i do..” i thought to myself
i make some coffee and more pancakes as i sit down next to Johnnie.
“are you doing something after?” he asks me while he keeps eating his pancakes
“yeah..i have to stream right now,, but im free afterwards” i smile
“wanna go out?” he finally looks at me,, he looked so beautiful,, his blue beautiful eyes.. his makeup he forgot to take off before bed that somehow still looked good on him.
“yeah..i would love to” i smile a little
i stand up
“i better go now, ill see you in 2 hours johnnie” i smile as i walk to my room
1 hour later*
i started streaming and i decided to react to some videos that my followers sent me,, they were usually sending edits of me or they will even sometimes send me memes. They all kinda supposed i had a crush on Johnnie, i just didn’t want to say anything just yet. They will sometimes send me edits of Johnnie and see my face turning red.
As one of my followers sent me this edit
When i watched that edit i said something that i will be definitely regretting later
“i volunteer..*cough* i mean what?..” i laugh
“WHAT DID SHE SAY” “DID WE HEAR THAT RIGHT?” “SHE JUST SAID I VOLUNTEER” “TELL ME THAT SOMEONE CLIPPED THAT”
“chat you are all crazy” i laughed
after another hour i decided to end the stream as i said my goodbyes
i walk to the living room as i see Johnnie sitting on the couch looking a bit serious
“you okay there?” i chuckle
“i need to talk to you”
oh no.
“yeah what is it?”
“mind explaining me this?” he shows me a clip of my reaction to that one edit on my stream
"oh um." i blush as i look away
"hm?" he stands up and walks towards me "cat got your tongue?"
i didnt say anything. i just stared at the floor
"i asked you something" he puts his hand on my chin
"it- it was just a joke, you know?" i chuckle awkwardly as i felt like i was about to pass out from embarassment
"it didnt seem like a joke to me" he stares at me
"yeah umm..." i start to walk back as he started to walk towards me, almost like trying to intimidate me
"whats wrong?" he smirks
"n-nothing" i finally bump into the wall behind me
"if you wanted to get fucked by me you couldve just said so"
"w-what?"
"dont play dumb"
"i-im no-" he grabs my neck
"lying to me wont get you anywhere" he stares at my shirt as he starts to put his hand inside my shirt
"j-johnnie what are y-" i could literally feel my heart beat racing by the second
"dont tell me you dont want this” he now started to kiss my neck
i felt like i was literally about to pass out from how hot i was in that moment. i couldn’t believe this was actually happening,,
“come here” he picks me up in bride style and sets up on walking to his bedroom,, he opens the door and throws me to his bed as he climbs on top of me
“fuck,, i wanted this for so long..” he starts to take off my shirt,, i felt hot between my legs
he started to kiss my stomach going down my hips. he slowly took off my pants and threw them on the floor
“johnnie wait!” he stops
“whats wrong? did i go too far??” he looks at me worried
“no no…its just that…its my first time..” i blush
“oh…” he smirks “ill make you feel good alright baby?,, you just have to trust me with this okay? can you do that for me?” he caresses my thigh. i nod as he then continued what he was doing earlier. he starts to kiss my chest going down my stomach, and finally reaching down to my panties.
“can i?” he started to kiss my inner thigh
“mhm” i nod
he slowly started to take off my panties as he then began to slowly eat me out. I’ve never in my life had been touched this way by anyone,, and knowing that the first person to take away my virginity was johnnie, it relieved me. i started to whimper as he suddenly started to go faster. his tongue was reaching all the right spots.
“fuck-“ i whimper as i felt him moan, sending vibrations to my core which gave me even more pleasure. i look down as i see him staring at me as he kept eating me out “johnnie fuck i-“ i moan
“come on baby, be a good girl and cum on my face” him calling me a ‘good girl’ sent me shivers down my spine.
“oh god oh god oh god-“ i throw my head back as i came
johnnie looks at me and caresses my thighs once again.
“you did so good baby..” he gets up and starts to kiss me. I see him unbuckling his pants.
“do you want this?” he asks
“yes…yes i do” i was so turned on by now that the only thing i wanted was him..and only him
“you will have to beg for it or ill leave you like this…needy…and you dont want that right princess?” he smirks
“n-no…” fuck he knew what he was doing. He waits for me to continue
“p-please johnnie..” i whimper as he lined himself to my entrance
“you can do better than that..” he looks at me dead in the eyes
“please johnnie i want your dick inside of me..” i beg,, i felt so embarrassed but turned on at the same time
“thats a good girl” he gets inside of my without a warning as i moaned from the sudden feeling
“for how long you’ve wanted this y/n? hm? tell me.” he began to move
“for a l-long time..” i moan, it felt like i was on cloud nine
He started to thrust harder and faster,, i felt like i was about to cum.
“j-johnnie i-im~” i whimpered and he put his hand on my leg and place it on his shoulder for better access which made the feeling 100 times better
“i know baby i know…fuck y-you feel amazing” he thrusted faster, “come on princess cum with me…” he moaned as we both cummed. We started to breath heavily,, with our hair sticking to our foreheads because of the sweat,, messy hair and red face but he still looked beautiful
“youre absolutely gorgeous..” i blush at his sudden comment
“i dont know if this is the right time but…i really like you..” he confesses
“i like you too johnnie…ive liked you for a very long time..” i smile at him as he kisses my forehead and we both fall asleep in each others arms.
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kiatheinsomniac · 1 year
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hi kiaa!! i hope youre doing good and school is going good too :) dont overwork yourself pls girl 😩❤️
since requests are open i figured id come and request something!! how would the assassins (altair, ezio, connor, arno, and jacob) react to the reader being extremely sick? how would they take care of the reader? would they be scared of catching the sickness? etc etc. ❤️
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☾ ⋆ ゚𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 / 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: yeee, uni's been fine! i'm done until september now so all I really have to do is pray I've passed all my modules (looking at you, spanish and latin american culture and italian history) and do my summer reading for next year's modules <3 and i make sure to never overwork myself on my blog! i really like what i do here anyway so i can manage lots of writing hehe 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: altaïr, ezio, connor, arno, jacob 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: very slight angst in Jacob's part
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。・:*˚:✧。 altaïr ibn-la'ahad
♡ Altaïr takes a break from his work to look after you. When he knows you'll do alright on your own for a while, he'll go out to train for a few hours to stay in shape but that and cooking meals for you are the only times he'll be leaving your side.
♡ he'll do everything he can to keep your temperature normal whether it's tenderly wiping down your body with a cool, damp cloth while another is folded over your forehead or he's having to bundle you up with blankets while he spoon feeds you, he'll stay by your side to keep you company and will be reading books while you rest.
。・:*˚:✧。ezio auditore
♡ Ezio brings in whatever doctors he can find to look after you but he'll be hovering around in the meantime to make sure they're treating you well and being careful (he'll honestly treat you like you're made of glass).
♡ he'll stay by your side for as long as possible and even if he has to leave you in Claudia's or a doctor's care for the day, he's in the kitchen in the evening cooking meals that Maria taught him to make and then sitting on the edge of your bed to feed them to you while he asks how you've been and he tells you about his day.
。・:*˚:✧。ratonhnaké:ton | connor kenway
♡ Ratonhnhaké:ton will treat you himself for as much is in his ability to before he goes into town to call out a doctor to see you. He'll diligently follow any perscriptions that you're given and he'll put almost everything on hold to look after you. He grew up without a father, he lost his mother and his whole village - he's not going to lose you too.
♡ he'll make sure you get enough fresh air, enough water, enough to eat. He'll be making herbal concoctions for you to help you heal faster. He just wants to see you better again.
。・:*˚:✧。 arno dorian
♡ he calls in the best doctors he can right away. He doesn't want to leave your side and he'll take some time away from the brotherhood is he has to. He'll cook for you, light meals like soups or stews that are easier for you to eat in your current state.
♡ he'll read to you but he keeps his distance a little. He doesn't want the both of you to get sick because then he won't be able to look after you.
。・:*˚:✧。 jacob frye
♡ Jacob's never really been good at the caretaker role. Even when he was younger and Evie was ill, their father was the one to look after her while he was just left to his own devices. Jacob would always notice that he didn't receive the same level of emotional care from his father when he fell ill though.
♡ so, he calls in a doctor/nurse and follows all the instructions they give him to look after you. He doesn't care if he gets ill too, he'll cuddle with you and chat with you and he'll even sing quietly to you while cooling your forehead with a damp cloth or bundling you up in blankets. He'll basically care for you in every way he's advised and then in every way he noticed Evie got but he didn't from their father but he always wanted. He doesn't want you to feel the way he did.
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raynavan · 6 months
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heavy spoilers for chapter 23 of Always by your side by @ingo-ingoing-ingone!! this chapter was so fantastic i. didnt have words for it. ended up doing 6 (nearly 7) drawings for it instead. i think this is my record- it took me roughly 7 hours. a fair warning! this is both art and a comment to the fic in one. so its rather long!
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ok i had an Unreasonable amount of fun doing the background on this one. ended up looking up a lot of the celestial bodies mentioned in the fic, man are they cool! it was implied that Emmet didn't really have a body so! stars instead. the colors were fun- i dont often let myself just. color like this haha! this one was... reall amazing. a fantastic opener! i immediately latched onto the visuals and painted a picture in my mind. it was just so... astronomical?
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i actually struggled with how i was going to position these two for a while. at first it was just them coloring in a clearing- then i made them watching pokemon, and then. this! idk- there just something sweet in how Ingo turns around to look at Emmet and... lighting was funky for this one- how a forest shades the things beneath it will always hold a special place in my heart. these two interacting is always so wonderful to read. the gentle ribbing and teasing and... just them chilling and talking was so nice. the fact that it was dragons was even better! dragons are the best. i felt a very sweet and gentle moment needed an equally sweet and gentle drawing. if i could, i might have gone for line less on Ingo and Emmet here as well.
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right- this was the last one i did. i think its the only one that i didn't get specifically from what was written. i just... wanted to give Emmet cuddles alright? /lh i had another sketch exploring exactly what Emmet might look, but i think ill revisit that when i... haven't been drawing for 7 hours straight hgfireohgope. the one in this is more simplified. the horror of having your face show one emotion- not even the one your most known for... your voice is toneless and the only was you can show even a fraction of what you feel is by copying what you (supposedly) dead brother used to do. there is a quiet horror in that- and yet Emmet still goes on. he cant feel texture and yet... he deserves many nice things.
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this one!!! was originally going to be an Entire piece with a more "realistic" drawing of Ingo sitting behind a fire just like this. when i sketched this out (in the middle of reading it) that was the plan. Jedi saved me by making Emmet draw it like this. you saved me probably an hour ghirepoghpeirh. i... still might draw it how i wanted at some point. also the lighting was added last minute! i thought it would look... more messy with the light of the fire shining on it. i think it looks nice. the scene was sweet and, like Emmet mentioned he did, i put emphasis (or uh... thicker more defined lines) around peoples faces to better define their happiness. it made me happy to read them being happy and then draw them being happy <3
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them!!!!!! i do not think it is a secret at All how much i love this au. i was More than happy to draw them again. and!!! being happy!!! perfect. i remembered this was a dream, and decided to blur the background quite a bit of this one- lopsided like its not really being thought about. adored this one. them!! teasing each other!! just!! going through a day!! perfect. amazing. it was really fun the way the small details of their routine was captured. from Ingo just. turning to goop so he doesn't have to pick up his clothes to Emmet just. accepting everything that happened from the mental connection to the shared feelings.
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DRAMATIC FORESHORTENING!!!! i almost wanted to play it up More but then i might lose Ingo's expression. the background for this was fun to do- emphasis! strong colors!! looks like something broke. like something was torn away. this whole bit is just. exactly what Emmet fears and its just. ough. Ingo would never do this- we know this, Emmet knows this two- he knows how ridiculous Ingo was being here. and then the climax with Emmet just... falling off... amazing. Ingo's horrified expression is what caught my attention here, though i had a few more ideas depicting Ingo leaning over Emmet. i figured a dramatic drawing here would fit.
so! there ya go. i had. so much fun doing this and! thank you so much for writing this and sharing with us Jedi. if you keep this up, ill just have to keep making more drawings!! i don't think words are enough- not even sure if these can properly express how i felt reading it all (i actual had to get up and pace around bc i got so excited) but! i think that your art inspired my own art is a very beautiful thing.
lets all keep making art with one another forever.
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legacyshenanigans · 1 year
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I know,
Marvolo.....when ill, would be an arse!
But, I couldn't stop thinking about how MC will just sense something is wrong after getting his abrupt letter to not come over. And she does exactly what he tells her not to do.
ANd then when he threatens her with Rerek and Rerek hisses in response, she is like, "SIT DOWN REREK!" And Rerek goes like, wtf, you scared the shit outta me, i am sorry bitch! And he does as told.
And then MC tries to motherhen over Marvolo and he keeps complaining but finally gives in to the impending sleep that he so much needs and smiles a little!
I know it sounds a bit out of character for Marvolo, but I just want to see a soft side of MArvolo for once and imprint it in my mind. If you can do it, no press.....just an idea I have been brooding upon for hours after reading your "Marvolo is Ill" post!
Have a nice day / night (whatever timezone you are in) 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
I actually like this 🤣 I'll do something for you, can't bring myself to let Rerek be controlled by MC though 🤣 but I'll still incorporate his sassy arse hahaha. And thank youuu, you too 💖
MC: *walks into Marvolos room after getting the owl telling her not to come, because she was a little concerned*
Marvolo: No! *covers his head with the covers* What the hell are you doing here? I told you not to come!
MC: It was so abrupt that I thought something was wrong!
Marvolo: Leave, I'm fine.
MC: You don't sound fine Marvolo..
Marvolo: MC..If you don't leave-
MC: Oi, don't threaten me *small frown*
Marvolo: I'm dont want you seeing me like this, go away..*uncovers half of his face and looks at rerek* Rerek, get get rid of her.
Rerek: Sure thing! *rises and hisses aggressively at MC*
MC: Rerek DOWN boy! DOWN! *harsh frown*
Rerek: ....*in utter confused, offended shock, looks over at Marvolo* Did this bitch REALLY just try to make demands?
Marvolo: Urgh..Stand down Rerek..She's just as stubborn as you...
MC: Listen, you're not well are you?
Marvolo: *Hides his face again* No. I feel like shit.
MC: Well let me look after you?
Marvolo: *laughs but then coughs* No..I dont need your help..I need sleep.
MC: Let me help get you to sleep *sweet grin as she moves closer*
Marvolo: Urgh.
MC: Come on?
Marvolo: URGH.
MC: *moves closer now at the edge of the bed* Come onnnnn.
Marvolo: *stern voice* MC..I dont..Need..Your..Help.
MC: *gets into the bed*
Marvolo: *sighs and finally uncovers his face*
MC: Look at your little red nose *giggles*
Marvolo: Fuck off *rolls over away from her*
MC: *rubs his back gently*
Marvolo: .....
MC: Is that nice? *smiles*
Marvolo: ...Yes.
MC: Want me to carry on?
Marvolo: .......Yes.
(After a few minutes)
Marvolo: *rolls over and grabs her for a cuddle, burrowing his head in her chest, but is clearly a little mad at himself*
MC: Are you getting sleepy? *smiles*
Marvolo: *sighs and smiles* Yes..Just..Shhhh, for the next few hours, you are my comfort blanket. Alright?
MC: Aww, that's the cutest thing you've ever-
Marvolo: *small blush* Be Quiet..
~
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#so i survived my 1st week as a phd student. it's interesting. im not sure how i feel#the negatives are that i forgot how much stress being around people causes me. as a research assistant i was able to be on my own schedule#and go into the lab at odd hours so i never had to see anyone. but now im in classes and teaching and have a shared office#classes are tolerable stress wise so long as im sitting on an edge. i only feel a lil like im dying. teaching makes nauseous beforehand.#which is odd bc im not really worried while im doing it or before im doing it. i thibk its just that i have to interact ans i kno im a#mediocre teacher bc id rather die than do the back and forth of asking questions and u should teach interactively#i like to break down complex idea and help people with problems but i was not build to teach in classrooms. i get knocked off points when#i give class presentations bc i cant make eye contact lol. so that'll b annoying this semester. and its just so hard to function in an#office space. idk its weird like i dont even feel it that much while im there its just like a flashing *i need to leave* alarm. and then#when im alone its like a physical weight off of me. and i cant tell if thats what's draining my energy or if ive just cycled into a low#energy lul bc im just like. i wanna sleep. and for me thats always a sign that somethings wrong. i dont feel that bad mood wise but its#like there's a rock weighing me down as im trying to tread water. so those r the big negatives. the positives r that#i do enjoy being back in school. i love the structure of it. but im also self destructive abt structure so well see how it goes. but my#lab mates seem nice as does my advisor. i feel a bit bad bc ill have to learn genome stuff from the ground up. and today i was trying to#convey ideas to him like an insane person. bc i dont have enough background to talk fluidly abt my prospective project and i have a picture#of what i mean but not all the details. hopefully i made some sense. i think the idea is cool. and thats the other really positive thing.#the papers i have to read associated with this project r waaaaaaaaaay more interesting than anything i ever had to read for my masters. like#they're the types of papers i would force other ppl to read for lab meetings. so im optimistic abt not hating it by the end haha#yay for being excited abt science. but i guess thats the other thing i feel bad abt. like im interested but haven't read a lot to prep bc#i cant express how difficult dyslexia makes things but also i cant control how interested in things i get so i bassically banned myself#from reading papers im actually interested in like 3 years ago bc in retrospect i was prob going thru a hypomanic episode#and i was like reading papers abt microbes in Antarctica all day and not working on my stuff. and i just remember walking into the lab at#like 5am to trasfer alage with tears streaming down my face bc i was just like. i cant have this nice thing and b functional. it has to stop#so i just created this weird barrier in my mind where im not allowed to read fun papers. so its odd to b reading them now for work. its odd#also i was walking to my office worring abt things and then i saw some moss growinf around the edge of the sidewalk and it made me wanna cry#bc i am an extremely normal individual. i have normal feelings abt photosynthesis. but anyway yeah. its been interesting#hopefully ill stay optimistic. next week we have a orientation for new grad students. and i might have to drive like an hr away. hate that#the driving i mean. not the orientation. that should b fun#unrelated
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kat651 · 22 days
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diary (Sherlock x reader)
He knew it was wrong. He truly did, but curiosity had gotten the best of him, and it was just sitting there. Sherlock had found himself liking you more than he should for someone that worked for him, but he wanted to know what interested you. Sherlock scanned the contents of your diary with interest.
You liked chocolate, certain flowers, he found your favorite color, what books you liked, your hobbies. He paused at the last entry. 
I know it's wrong, especially considering the fact that he hates sentiment, but I can't help but make a special place in my heart for him. He may be hard to read but thats what makes him so special, if Sherlock Holmes was just a regular person with regular hobbies and interests i probably wouldn't have even noticed him, save for those eyes, but because he's so different and so unique i can't help but want what i can't have. Maybe I need to move out, being flatmates with him and John makes it even harder for me to think straight. 
I know for a fact that John knows exactly how I feel. If Sherlock was anyone else besides my boss, I'd tell him the truth. But I can't lose this job because my heart wants something it can't have. Our friendship may be nothing more than work related but I cherish it. A lot.  
Update: I found an apartment for sale a few blocks away. If I save up, I should be able to pay the rent by the end of the month. How on earth am I supposed to tell them I'm moving out? John will understand but he won't be happy about it. But sherlock? How will he react? 
Sherlock closed the diary and ran to your room,tossing it on your bed, his heart was racing. You were leaving? You loved him? He stood and began to pace, mind going a mile a minute. He felt a pit in his stomach and realized he felt the same way you did. 
Sherlock threw on his coat and ran to the store, picking up some chocolate and a few other things he now knew you liked. He knew that John knew you liked him so John would immediately pick up on Sherlock's feelings. He brushed it off and bought everything anyway. 
You walked into the flat and slipped your shoes off before going into the living room. “Hey john… where's sherlock?”
“He left about a half hour ago, probably something about the case…” 
You nodded and sat down. “Well since hes gone now is probably the best time to tell you. Im leaving.”
“What?”
“I can't do this anymore… it's too hard seeing him every time i step through the door. I'm not quitting i'm just moving down the street… maybe ill come back if i can get everything inside under control but for now i need to leave…”
You hadn’t heard sherlock come back. “Your leaving?”
You turned around to see sherlock standing in the entrance to the livingroom with a bag in his hand. 
“I… yeah, at the end of next week, im just heading down the street. I need time to myself… i might come back after a few months i just i cant…” you hung your head. 
“Ill leave you two to talk,” john said, heading to his room.
Sherlock slowly walked to you until he was standing directly infront of you. “Is there anything i can say or do to change your mind?”
‘There is one thing,’ you thought. ‘If you loved me. It wouldnt hurt if you did…’ you sighed. “I dont think so…”
Shurlock gently grabbed your hands. “Is it me?” he asked, pretending not to know. 
John was standing with his ear against his door, listening.
“No. i mean yes, i mean… its complicated…”
“Please tell me, if ive done something to cause you to feel that you have to leave just tell me, i- please stay…” sherlock pleaded, squeezing your hands and looking at you with puppy eyes. 
“Sherlock i cant-”
He grabbed your face in his hands, looking into your eyes with his now sad ones. “Please stay…”
“No ive made up my mind, im going…”
“No…”
“Oh come on Sherlock its not like im- what are you so afraid of?!”
“You want to know what i'm afraid of?!” he asked, tears welling in his eyes. 
“Yes i do!” you shouted. 
“Everything!” he screamed.
You looked at him confused.
“Everything that involves you scares me! Im afraid to move to think im…” he reached out to touch your face but recoiled. “Im scared to touch you! I-im afraid you step out that door, every time i let you help me with a case! I let you in, i let myself love you and now your leaving! I cant loose you! I-i wont survive…” at some point he had fallen to his knees and now he was crying at your feet. “Please stay…”
You knelt in front of him. “You love me?”
Sherlock nodded, looking up at you. “More than anything…”
You chuckled and threw your arms around him, placing your lips on his. “I love you too…”
Sherlock kissed you repeatedly “y/n… please… don't go…”
You hugged him tighter. “I'm not going anywhere, i'm staying right here… with you.”
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