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#these days it feels like ​i have to force myself to watch videos i know ill like or to read stories or play games or do anything
respectthepetty · 1 day
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Pride Petty Watch (SOTUS) 1/5
The crowd picked two blacklisted shows for me to watch during Pride, which were Love in the Air and The Untamed, and so even though I finished the first, I've stalled on the second, and it's all because of the beast named SOTUS. I watched this show when it aired in 2016, but I don't remember any of it. All I remember is that I'm very mad at it, yet this was the wild card show that was unlocked during the voting, so instead of fearing this show so much that I cannot bring myself to finish The Untamed, I'm going straight to the big boss, and fighting this demon NOW!
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It's me and the gear in a battle until the very end, and even though I cannot remember a single thing about this show, as soon as I pressed play, all the hate in my body rose to the surface, so I already know this is going to be a ~journey~
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First and foremost, I'm going to give this show and Krist a compliment because I HATE Arthit, which is exactly what I should be doing in the first episode. He is 🎶The Worst🎶 and he leans all the way into it. He snarls. He yells. He forces a girl to give him her number through mere power dynamics and sexism, and this isn't just 2024-me thinking this. 2016-me knows that this character is written well because the worst thing Arthit can think of doing to another man is making him say he is gay.
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Then to casually whisper in that man's ear that he could find him a skirt to wear . . .
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Arthit really is the epitome of the homophobe-to-homo character and I can't believe that it worked in 2016 since I feel that was late for a character like this to still be a love interest, yet it's still working so well in 2024 because here I am, pissed, pressed, and ready to fuck him up for being the douchiest bro in this damn cafeteria. It's refreshing how much I'm allowed to hate him.
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Because even the way he screams Kongpob's name with his student ID every fucking two seconds is setting me off.
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And I'm very disappointed in BL Land for only ONE video existing of him screaming Kongpob's name, and it's only the times from the first half of the first episode. Thanks, OP, but we are slacking!
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But, honestly, if I had a boy who looked up at me like this every time I screamed his name, I'd probably be a lot worse than Arthit. You know, instigating fights and hands on me or something like that.
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And now I'm questioning this series because if these two would just choke each other out then kiss, I would be fully for it and enjoying all my snacks along the way. I'd be fine with Kongpob telling the entire room he would make Arthit his bitch, but Kongpob instead says he'll make Arthit his wife, and . . . the vibe is not as kinky as I need it to be to support all that is being thrown at me from these two.
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Which is why I'm heavily shipping Kongpob with M! Kongpob got in trouble for having two books, one which was M's, and had to say he liked men. Now, they are drunk at this table with homophobe Arthit and the hazers are staring them down while Kongpob is just holding M's face.
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But let me actually rewatch this show instead of reflecting on how GMMTV messed this enemies AND lovers premise up twice (looking at you, Dangerous Romance) because right now, this show is trying to make me believe the girls would not wave hello to a babyface Off.
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Once again, back to the actual rewatch, and because I don't remember a thing about this, I don't know if Wad is good or bad, but him busting out this move when Prem told him to apologize was equivalent to an older white Southern Christian woman telling someone to have a blessed day, so I felt that shade through the screen!
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And I'm not victim-blaming, but I do actually think Kongpob and Arthit are trying to push each buttons to see who will break first and fuck (up) the other one because this is not a sane answer to "why did you stay?" when the possibility of the hazers physically harming someone is extremely high.
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I only see my Kongpob and M ship now because when Arthit asked if anyone knew M, Kongpob immediately stood up and knew his entire life story. I have known my best friends for decades, and I still could not recite half of that information. Kongpob, what are the heterosexual reasons for you know any of this information about M?
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JAN!
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Once again, Arthit is 🎶The Fucking Worst🎶 because instead of just taking his L, he made Kongpob say everyone's damn name, then ripped up May's name tag, only to scold Kongpob for giving her his, and now the kids are passing out from his ridiculous physical activities! As a member of a Greek-letter organization who was hazed because that was the culture of the time period, Arthit is being soooooo messy!
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Hear me out - Kongpob and M would be so good together! Arthit is the antagonist. Kongpob is the protagonist who meets a sweet quiet boy on his first day of orientation. He helps the sweet quiet boy come out of his shell and watches over him. He cares for him. THEY FALL IN LOVE!
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But instead I'm getting a love interest who nominated Kongpob because he knows he is cute, yet can't admit it because ~internalized homophobia~ Ryan from The OC would have never treated Seth this way, and they were in the early 2000s. What is your excuse, Arthit?! The show wants me to hate you, and for that, I'm thankful.
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But I could never hate Minnie! Arthit came up quick like he was protecting the boys from Minnie being a predator, but Minnie would NEVER! I could never fear Minnie with the bisexual scarf? And now MDL is telling me the actor has only acted in one other series and that series is Deep Night. Gold star resume, and I truly mean that.
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Look at them. LOOK AT THEM! Tell me they don't look good together. Tell me they wouldn't have wrecked every other ship. This is why I need GMMTV to let these MEN (no longer boys) kiss their homies. Kongpob x M. Singto x New. I ship it.
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*punching walls and ripping doors off hinges* Kongpob gets kicked out the group and the FIRST one to stand up for him is the boy he loves (it's canon to me and IDGAF what the story's gotta say about it). Quiet and sweet M finds his voice just so he can ask to have Kongpob back. THEY ARE IN LOVE!
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Arthit is wildin' out here trying to gaslight Kongpob with this bullshit of "if you keep helping out your friends, then they'll never stand on their own." Sir, you wanna fuck Kongpob so bad, you look stupid.
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AND KONGPOB SAYS IT!
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I cannot stress enough how kinky this is and could have been if 2016 BL Land was allowed to lean into this because Kongpob has already established through his actions that he likes showing up for the punishments, and here he says the quiet part very loudly - Arthit likes punishing him.
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Taking a break from the kink to point out that GMMTV was always going to get My Love Mix-Up because in 2016, May's friend said that "In Japan, if you write down the name of your crush on an eraser and use it, that person will love you"
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Then we have May asking for an eraser and keeping it just so she can write Kongpob's name on it. But who gets upset about it? M! Because he loves Kongpob and I'm not accepting that he likes May just like Atom realized he liked a boy instead of girl eight years later. M loves Kongpob. That is my truth!
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And here comes the kink lite again! Kongpob could leave. He doesn't have to take this verbal abuse from Arthit. He doesn't have to eat that damn spicy ass plate of food. He doesn't have to finish it either because Arthit gets up and leaves, yet HE DOES! Because he likes this treatment. This makes sense if it's sadomasochism, and that will guide me through these next couple of episodes.
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Because the decision to make Arthit the one who likes pink milk is a choice, and now I want an entire TED Talk on how Arthit is probably the most well done homophobic bully with internationalized homophobia falling in love with the boy he is bullying.
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Because, joke's on him, the guy he falls for is into that kind of shit.
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And all of this happens so we can end with Kongpob getting pink milk for himself after he finished an entire spicy meal that he didn't need to since he enjoys being punished should make me so happy, but the show is trying to lighten Arthit's behavior by having him pay for the bill (and get the freshmen food, and having been hazed himself, and blah blah blah) instead of just letting the toxicito be toxic and Kongpob being into it.
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I never thought I'd write this, but I don't want Arthit to be tamed. I want him to be so much worse.
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sudokuplayer · 4 months
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i'm so angry and heartbroken and i think this is all i will ever be
#no it's not pms :( Jeremy is still missing and i haven't slept well waiting for him#it's getting so cold too#all my ''''progress'''' this year means nothing to me#also my sister is here because she didn't have to work yesterday and today and my brother video called her not knowing she was here#and when she picked up he was all cheerful and happy and it sounded like they video call often#(he texted me only a few times when he moved to the north and not a single time since he moved to Argentina)#and when he realized she was here he sort of got quiet and asked if i was around and she pointed the camera at me which always makes me sic#so i didn't look or wave and i didn't say anything and he said “she's got he headphones on” and my sister said no lol and it was awkward#then she told him we are all sad about Jeremy and said me in particular#i've been so sad and moody and angry#i can't do anything because of this anguish i feel#can't read or watch movies because i can't concentrate#i watched the emperor's new groove the other day to cheer up a little but it made sad#nostalgia doesn't work for me when i'm down like this because i see through it lol and i remember i spent my whole childhood scared#i remember i was certain something bad would happen to me (and it did but not as tragic as what i was scared of)#i'm rambling. i should be journaling instead#...#Keanu is with me now and i can't even look at him without tearing up because i start thinking about Jeremy#it's so cold and he's probably hungry. if he's even alive#the cats are all i have. i spend more time with them than with the only 2 humans i can interact with without throwing up (mom and sister)#you know how they say cats mirror twhe personality of their humans :( Jeremy is exactly like me. my mom and siblings used to joke about it#he hides when people come over to the house:( he pees himself when strangers touch him :(#we have the vet come over so we don't have to take him out of the house#and the vet is the only person he's forced to see. he pees himself when she touches him too#i can't stop thinking about how he's doing if he's still alive because he gets scared so easily and he's so anxious#i'm so angry because i should go outside and look for him but i can't even picture myself out of this house#i feel so betrayed too. because one thing is my stupid sick head thinking there's no amount of therapy or meds that could work for me#but why is my family listening to me when i say these things. why don't they get me lobotomized or something#maybe it is a bit of pms#📓
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kraviolis · 1 year
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i hate knowing that i would be so fucking good at and have so much fun with GTA RP while also being physically incapable of even trying it out.
#krav talks#god is keeping me from doing GTA RP bcus they know it would completely take over my life and all i would do every single day is GTA RP#just watching it scratches an itch in my brain i can only imagine what actively participating would feel like#i just hope that when im finally physically capable of it its not like. completely dead and gone.#and also i mean. i could just. make a mute character. thats the main problem#but also that would limit my RP abilities so much#even tho i can type super fast typing does make me overthink myself#vs just talking in improv forces me to come up with something quickly and flows better#the one thing that ive always hated about RPG-types like fallout or sims or the like is that after the first playthru it gets sooo boring#bcus everything becomes so predictable#and mmos ive never liked bcus its so strange and uncomfortable to just see all these ppl around but have no immersive way to interact#but GTA RP and especially nopixel is like. EXACTLY what ive been looking for my whole life#i was obsessed with darkrp gmod servers as a youngin and loved the mix of practical mechanics with roleplaying#ive never been able to do tabletop rpgs bcus of my struggle with audio processing#and ttrpgs are literally 90% listening to someone explain whats happening#vs. roleplaying in multiplayer video games which just let me SEE whats goin on so i'd just have to ask ppl to repeat what they said#rather than asking a game master to repeat what they just said but theyve spent the past 5 minutes explaining the situation in detail
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risingsunresistance · 2 years
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#aaaaaaugh dude I MISS HIM i dont know what to say that hasnt already been said#but posting is so hard talking about him is so hard#every day i wait for his youtube to post a new video or for the technodad account to be like 'LOL YOU NERDS ACTUALLY FELL FOR IT'#he was just playing a long-con prank and It'll Be Fine and he just wanted to distract us while he worked on some new insane project#how am i still fully in denial 5 months later. it's almost been half a year#i cant watch his videos anymore. it was easy the 1st week and then it was impossible then it was easy again now it's impossible again#drawing in general is hard bc he was all i was drawing. he still is but im drawing WAY less and with pretty much no passion behind it#cant draw stuff for myself i just wanna draw him. partly bc of him but also bc that's where i made all my friends with you guys :(#i dont wanna go back to what i used to do. i wanna stay here. but it's really hard#i know i dont *have* to make my own posts and i can just reblog and ramble n stuff but. it feels weird not to#i save all my favorite things here. there's still clips i havent taken. art i havent made. fics i've never wrote (and never will lol)#i dont WANT to stop. it's hard to force myself to get back into it tho. there's no easy way to talk about him#it feels borderline unhealthy trying to keep it up#but i keep going into swings of ''i love it here so much i love you guys'' and ''i cant keep going im not strong enough''#so like. which is it. what's REALLY wrong??? i wish i could just go back to how things were aaaaa#idk what i mean by that really. just wish i could find some normalcy in it all whatever that would mean for me#idk if my issue is Him Being Dead or trying to run a blog for a guy who died. some combination. some secret third thing. augh#chat#tw death
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merriclo · 1 year
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ahsjkds rant/vent in the tags
#i fucking LOVE having to hug my friend as they sob bc our rights r actively being revoked#i’m literally 16 years old. i don’t even have my permit yet.#it shouldn’t be up to us kids. i shouldn’t have to tell them that we’ll fix it and make it all ok one day#it’s not that fucking hard to let trans people exist. it’s really not.#and yet#i just. ughajdnfjkw#they were sobbing. and all i could do was promise that i’d try and fix it.#i’m pissed and tired and upset and all i can do about it is hope that my emails and club speeches actually do something while i wait#there are wonderful adults who are fighting for us and i cherish them greatly#but that doesnt change the fact that the government - the very people i was raised to believe we’re there to protect me - is actively#passing laws in favor of my suicide.#and the only thing i can do about it in the meantime is comfort my friends and hope they give my email the light of day#it’ll be okay. we can fix this and save our community. i know we can.#i just wish this wasn’t something we have to do in the first place#this is gonna sound indelicate but i wish i still flinched when getting called a faggot#i’m not sure if this makes sense but it feels like i lost something when i started teaching myself to remain neutral in the face of bigotry#i want to be mad and upset but instead i’m carefully crafting how im perceived and judged at every moment#where’s the justice in me forcing myself to watch bigoted videos at the age of 14 so i wouldn’t be caught off guard or shocked when harassed#tell me where the fuck the justice is in that.#sorry for all this rambling i’m just upset
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darnell-la · 23 days
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Darkceo!logan and employer!fem-reader when he's using his power to control her fully as employer and plaything💯
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pairing: dark!boss!logan howlett x employ!reader
warnings: controlling, unprofessional, threats, choking, hair pulling, sexual harassment, high power, forced creampie, rough sex, marking, baby trapping, etc.
note: I’ll be Logan’s slut coworker anytime.
follow our Instagram @ darnell.la so we can start posting random videos, photos, edits, and memes of the people we write about!
———
“Logan, I can’t stay after hours to help the kids in detention. I’ve got work to do myself,” y/n said after the man called her in his office. This was his third time within a week, making her stay back.
“Well, I’ve got paperwork, and need someone to watch the kids when I’m not looking,” the man fixed his glasses before looking back at the computer he was typing on.
“You’re in the same room as them — I’m sure they’re not gonna up and leave,” y/n tried convincing the man to let her go, but that wasn’t happening, just like the other nights.
“When I tell something once, I expect you to listen, y/n. Don’t make me tell you again,” the man had looked up at the girl.
Y/n stood in the middle of the man’s office, wanting to fight for some kind of break, but last time he had scared her into staying.
“Yes, sir,” the young lady said before turning around and walking off. She could see the smirk on the older man after her sentence. He owned her, and she had no one to go to and tell.
“Y/n, stay back — We need to talk,” Logan said after y/n dismissed detention for the kids. Some laughed as others ran out, ready to do whatever teenage mutants did at this time of night.
“Mister Howlett, I really need to get to my own work-“ she tried saying. “Don’t start,” the man cut her off at the end of her sentence. The way he always looked over his glasses, made her shut up in an instant.
The class was finally empty. Logan stood outside of the door, waiting for all of his students to leave before closing and locking his classroom door.
“You’re the best teacher I’ve got, y/n, but your attitude — It ain’t pretty,” Logan finally turned around, eyes burning into hers. She didn’t want to get fired. She’s done everything he’s asked, but she could feel something coming.
“Ima need you to work after hours right here with me. Confused it a mild punishment for your recent behaviors,” he said, confusing the girls.
“Mister Howlett, I’ve donen’t everything you’ve asked me to for days. If I don’t get my own work done, I can fall behind. The stress isn’t good for teaching,” she tried telling the man.
Logan walked toward the girl, letting her talk for once until he stood right before her.
“I know you love this job, y/n, but you will lose it if you don’t obey me,” the man said. Obey? “Logan, this isn’t some kind of joke. I can’t be around you all day and night for no reason. I have papers myself,” y/n tried standing her ground, but it was hard. His gaze intimidated her.
“Then take ‘em down here for now on. Don’t argue with me anymore,” the man looked down at her as she rolled her eyes. He didn’t like that.
“Look-“ Logan said as his hand raised, gripping the girl's neck out of nowhere. “I don’t know who the fuck told you, you can act a certain way towards me — But I’d advise you to cut that shit out,” he said.
When the girl didn’t give a response and just looked up at the man, he dragged her until her body was pinned against the cold thick wooden walls.
“You think I’m a joke, Bub? I’ll fire you right now. I don’t give a fuck how important you are to my school. I’ll fire you and throw you out tonight,” the man threatened as his body pressed against her.
“So as I said, cut the fuckin’ attitude, before I do it for you,” another threat was made. “You can’t just-“ y/n tried saying. “I can’t just what? Hm!?” Gripped her neck tighter, waiting for her to tell him what he couldn’t do with her.
“Y-You can’t just do this, Logan. I have a job to do, just like you, and you’re getting in my way. Y-You’re distracting me,” she finally said.
She had been trying to tell the man for weeks now, but every time, he’d threaten the woman’s job. It was unprofessional of him shaking up in her room one night, and telling her she needed to come to her rooms at times and work. She didn’t know what the man's problem was, and she was scared to ask.
“Oh, I’m distracting?” He asked in a low voice which slightly came out as a growl. He couldn’t help but smirk and scan the young lady. She looked so good like this.
“Maybe I am too — Those lips aren’t very easy to ignore,” he said, face coming close to hers. Once his hot breath hit her skin, her heart dropped and reality hit her. This man has been hitting on her…
“M-Mister Howlett,” the girl spoke, earning a groan from the man. “Yes, princes?” He asked as one knee moved in between her leg, pushing until he grazed her clothes folds.
Y/n regretted listening to the man when he demanded her to look more professional by wearing skirts and dressed to teach.
“T-This is unprofessional,” she said, instantly making the man laugh as he tilted his head back. “God, you’re so fuckin’ dumb. Lucky me, I like ‘em that way,” the man said before he slowly leaned at her neck.
The young girl whined softly, her heart rate raising as her boss sucked on her neck. “L-Logan,” she pushed at his shoulders softly, but what would that do? He was stronger and wanted this.
The man growled in her neck, loving the way his name rolled from her tongue. “L-Logan, stop this,” y/n pushed harder at the man’s shoulders, but all he did was laugh at her skin.
Y/n’s eyes filled with tears as she noticed her cunt throb on his thigh. She was growing wet as well, and she knew he knew that.
After Logan realized how much she was leaking, he pulled her off of the wall by her hair, pulling her over to his desk. “Be a good coworker, and spread for me,” the man pushed her down onto his desk, almost breaking it.
“Ow, Logan,” the girl whined. He loved how venerable she was. The girl wasn’t a mutant, so she knew he was too strong for her. He loved the power he had over her as a mutant and boss.
Y/n repeatedly begged the man to let her go, telling him she’d do whatever he wanted from now on with no attitude, but all he said was “Ima get that anyway,”.
Logan pulled the girl's tight dress up, eyes filling with darkness as he saw her wet spot. “Fuckin’ slut got wet on the job,” the spat before ripping them off clean.
“P-Please, Logan,” y/n begged again, legs already shaking from the fear in her body. She’s never been with a mutant, and having her boss be the first, isn’t professional of her. She can’t do this.
“Don’t worry, Bub — Gonna fill this cunt right up. Give her what she needs,” he made up his own thoughts on what y/n wanted as he pulled himself out, stroking until he felt pre cum leak from his tip.
Logan knew the young lady wasn’t on birth control. He made her sign work papers, having that down as one of the questions. She didn’t think of it at first because she just wanted a job. A normal job, but now she knows it’s not so normal.
Logan forcefully pushed at the girl's entrance, making her grip his table. He was huge, and he hadn’t even filled her to the brim yet.
“L-Logan, please!” She begged as tears slipped from her eyes. The man groaned as he slipped into her walls, feeling the instant warmth and grip. “Fuck,” he couldn’t keep in. He’s been waiting on this for a while.
L-Logan,” the girl's cracked voice filled the room as he pushed all the way into her. She felt full. She felt pain. She felt pleasure. He knew she liked this deep down.
“Ah huh, baby — You like it?” He asked as he slowly pulled back before pushing back in. Y/n’s body went stiff at the length he was. He was too deep, and he loved it.
“T-Too much, Logan,” she cried low, gripping his desk harder. “I know, Bub, but whose fault was that for not being nicer to me? I would’ve trained you with my fingers, but you’ve been pissin’ me off lately,” Logan leaned over y/n, rubbing at her cheeks.
“Got me so fuckin’ angry, but all I could think about if fuckin’ it out. All out, into you,” the snap on his hips made the girl yelp. “So, you’re gonna lay here, and fuckin’ take it — professionally,”
Logan couldn’t help himself. He tugged on the girl's hair and gripped the side of her waist, pulling her into every hard thrust he could give. He knew the screws on the table were loosening, but he’ll fix it later.
“Can’t walk around here this tight and think I don’t want a taste, baby. Gonna be havin’ this cunt whenever I want, and however I want from now on,”
Y/n’s cunt was finally stretched and wet, good enough for Logan to slip into her with ease, but still rough enough to punish her. He neared to use the power he had over her, and he was.
“For now on, you’re in my room. Don’t need you unsupervised when you’re this tight,” the sounds of y/n’s juice filled the room as he talked. She couldn’t control her system. She was leaking worse than before. “And leave the panties alone. Need ease access in what’s mine,”
The girl's cunt throbbed at his words, not knowing why, but she knew she was fucked. If she tried telling anyone she didn’t want this after knowing the knot in her stomach getting harder to hold, they’d laugh in her face.
“Petty girls gonna cum, hm? Well, that ain’t so professional of you, ain’t it? Tellin’ me how unprofessional I am, but you’re about to cum on my jeans like the whore of the night,”
Y/n tried holding herself back, angry that he read her like a book, but she soon failed. She came all over his lower body, making the sounds of his thrust louder and more sloppy.
“That’s it, baby — Cum in my cock, and I might give you a raise,” he chuckled as he felt himself eat close. Y/n felt horrible. She clenched around the man after he mentioned a raise. That could only mean she was fine with this, as long as she got paid.
“Gonna have to save after the baby forms in your stomach. Can’t have my pretty girl workin’ too hard,” a whine left the girl's mouth. A very sexual moan that made him know she wanted this. Deep down, she couldn’t hide it. She couldn’t hide how good he was fucking the life out of her.
“That’s it, baby — Keep moaning like that, and Ima put a village in this sweet cunt,” the man said between his teeth, now slamming into her. His thrust was brutal, knowing the wind and trapped moans from her mouth any time his pelvis slapped her ass.
“Fuck, yes, baby. Grip me — Grip me and show me you want it,” the man's cock twitched in her walls, warning her, he was close. Before he could say another teasing sentence, he was cut off by his groans as he filled the girl up.
He spilled in her for what felt like hours, pushing his cock deeper into her cunt to make sure one of them would be a winner.
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pocparks · 2 years
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u ever have to like,,, force yourself to do things that you enjoy?
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hikarry · 2 months
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For the longest time, I thought I was cis. Not necessarily because I felt it deep down, but because I was forced to present as feminine as possible. My father, trying to counterbalance the whole "being gay" thing, made sure of it. I was supposed to look a certain way to fit into the "norm" he wanted to project.
Fast forward to 2020, when the world stood still, and so did my sense of self. Like many, I had a sexual crisis during lockdown, and a gender crisis hit right after. I went hyper-feminine, leaning into the only identity I knew. But suddenly, it became unbearable. I felt itchy, uncomfortable in my own skin. I found myself stealing my brother's clothes, hiding my long hair under a beanie. Some days, I loved being feminine. Other days, I relished the comfort of masculinity. And sometimes, I just didn’t care.
I didn't have a name for what I was feeling. I knew about being cis—it was the default, the norm. I had trans friends, and I knew about being non-binary from TikTok. But none of these labels seemed to fit me. I wasn't just one thing. I was everything. Then, a TikTok video introduced me to the term "genderfluid." It resonated. I liked the idea, but something still felt off. The only people I saw using this label were behind screens, with a seemingly magical ability to transform their appearance effortlessly. They could switch genders with such fluidity and grace—powers I didn't possess. I felt like I was on the outside, looking in.
Then, in 2021, everything changed when I watched Good Omens for the first time. And that’s when I met Crowley.
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At first, I didn’t quite grasp his whole gender vibe. But on a rewatch, it hit me like a brick. Crowley was like me. His fluidity, his complete disregard for sticking to one gender—it was exactly what I had been searching for. He didn’t fit into a box. He just existed, gloriously and unapologetically, as whoever he wanted to be in any given moment. And that was me.
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Crowley was the first genderfluid "person" I met, even if he was just a character. Seeing him on screen was incredibly validating. Up until then, I felt like a freak, confused and lost. But Crowley showed me I wasn’t alone or abnormal. He made me feel seen, understood, and normal. It was a revelation.
Crowley helped me embrace my identity without overthinking it. Just, you know, fuck it. Female, male—who cares? It was liberating. I owe that sense of freedom to him.
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To anyone struggling with their gender identity, feeling like they don’t fit into a neat category, I hope you find your Crowley. That moment of realization where you see yourself reflected somewhere and know you’re not alone. Because you’re not. We’re out here, existing and thriving, just like Crowley.
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a-is-away · 6 months
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eight step guide on how to study (as a third year pre-med student with ADHD and a 4.0)
welcome to my step by step guide on how to study. i have a love-hate relationship with studying, but this is what works to get me going. getting started is the hardest part, i promise.
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step one: prep your space. get a glass of water or coffee or energy drink and make sure you have everything you need out and ready. throw your phone across the room or just put it out of sight. you will forget that other fun things exist (like tik tok) if you cannot see it. out of sight, out of mind.
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step two: sit at your desk (or table or a general designated study space with a chair). studying in bed never works like you think it will and studying on the floor (while enriching) will do nothing but hurt your back from hunching over. sitting at your desk makes you feel much more productive (most of my study sessions start by just forcing myself to sit in my chair).
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step three: put some music or ambience on. if i need to use my brain more i'll opt for some fantasy-themed forest ambience or sci-fi droning sounds. your brain is tricked into thinking that you're having fun if music is on, but plot twist! you're actually being productive. music i turn to is soft piano, video game soundtracks (genshin, undertale, minecraft, stardew valley) or lofi, but your mileage may vary. DO NOT do music with words unless you want to be distracted.
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step four: make a list of need-to-dos and rank them based on priority and time. start by doing an activity that will take a short amount of time. by completing a short to-do, it builds the motivation to keep going.
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step five: start a study timer. i bought a physical study timer that is so satisfying to wind and set and watch the time tick by, but a desktop one works just fine. set your timer based on how much energy you have. some days i go for 60 minutes, some days i do 25, it all just depends. as a study session goes on, it's normal for your amount of energy to go down. i may do 60-45-30-20 then take a long break. know thyself and thine needs!
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step six: lock in. do not think about what you are doing, simply do it. do it before your brain has the chance to convince you it doesn't like what you're doing.
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step seven: take regular, controlled, and useful breaks. do not start an activity on your break that will break your flow. walk around, stretch, check your phone, refill your drink, have a snack. reward yourself! you're doing great, i promise.
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step eight: long break. do something that will rest your mind. maybe watch youtube, eat a meal, play a video game, read a few chapters of a book. be proud of the work you've accomplished.
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i hope this helps! happy studying!
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perfectlyoongi · 1 month
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LONG-DISTANCE!JUNGKOOK who has breakfast on video call with you. as soon as he woke up, Jungkook didn’t have time to feel sleepy; leaving as quickly as possible, Jungkook showered and dressed almost at the same time, quickly making his bed, only to run to the kitchen at the end of it all. Jungkook would call you as soon as he was done and it was always with a wide smile that he greeted you. with bright eyes and outstretched arms, Jungkook beamed when he saw you, offering you a hug that couldn’t happen, showing the impact you had on Jungkook’s morning, on Jungkook’s life. “good morning, cupcake! today i had an incredible dream about you. we were on a boat on some beach in…”
LONG-DISTANCE!JUNGKOOK who reminds you every day why he waits for you. whether by call or message, there wasn’t a day that went by that Jungkook didn’t give you the poems that were written in his heart. the gods had blessed Jungkook with their voices, making Jungkook recite the oldest songs in the world. the stars had showered Jungkook with their light, making Jungkook whisper the most ambitious promises in the world. the universe had gifted Jungkook with your soul, making Jungkook love your most beautiful essence. it was only natural for him to proclaim all the thoughts that invaded his heart and made him completely desperate to love you. “it took me years to meet you, but when that day came, i understood why it took me so long. what i feel for you is too intense to be contained within me. the gods feared my love would break my heart, so they only gave me to you when they knew i could contain it. because now that i know you and know that you love me, i can keep all my feelings for you within myself and always hope that the day comes when i can break it free.”
LONG-DISTANCE!JUNGKOOK who watches romance movies with you and always says that you are the main couple. from silent films, to hollywood classics and ending with the most recent romantic ones, a variety of films and couples entertain you for hours, making you laugh with their adventures, making you dream with their love. and in every couple, Jungkook saw the two of you: walking on the beach, having dinner out, dancing in the rain, it was impossible for him not to imagine you in the actors’ place — and, oh, how he would give anything to take their places. “oh, oh, oh! he’s going to run to her. i’m sure. that’s what i would do to you, so he has to do it. he has to tell her he loves her!”
LONG-DISTANCE!JUNGKOOK who buys your favorite food brands just to make you happy when he taste them. whenever you text him that you’re going to try a new brand or food, Jungkook waits patiently for your review. always wanting to be close to you, it was in food that Jungkook found some comfort; so, in the brands you talked about the most, in the brands you ate the most, Jungkook bought them for himself too, getting lost in their delicious flavors, feeling a little closer to you until you could eat together. “i passed by the supermarket and saw your favorite brand of juice there. brought your favorite flavor to try. if i don’t like it, you have to pay for my therapy.”
LONG-DISTANCE!JUNGKOOK who calls you his moon. just like the moon, you were beautiful. you brought with you reflections of the sun that made you shine with the intensity of someone who conquers a life. just like the moon, you went through stages that slowly fed your soul to make it grow as strong as possible. just like the moon, you were constant, always there for Jungkook, always listening to all of his most morbid laments. just like the moon, you were magic. and Jungkook only managed to understand the fascination of the moon when you came into his life and became the owner of his moon. “the oldest love story is between the moon and the sun. the gods created these two lovers and forced them to live apart because their love was too much. and you are my moon. the only lover i want and the one who is far from me. but if the moon and the sun can meet five times a year, we will also be able to live our love.”
LONG-DISTANCE!JUNGKOOK who describes the sky to you whenever he was most needy. there were days when the distance hurt more, whole days when Jungkook just imagined himself by your side, resting by your side, living by your side. and on those loneliest days, where all the kilometers became entire eternities, Jungkook would call you, hoping that your voice would be enough to calm his heart. and when words were too complex to exchange, he would just look up at the sky and describe it to you, taking comfort in the fact that you were under the same stars as him. “the sky is blue today. a beautiful blue. that blue that makes you dream. a blue that fills you from the inside and takes you to travel in its white clouds. today the sky is really beautiful. you would like to see it with me.”
LONG-DISTANCE!JUNGKOOK who only said he loved you when he was with you for the first time. when the day came that the two of you were finally together, all the gods sang you songs and all the stars rained their magic down on you to bless your relationship with everlasting love. it was when the two of you were together for the first time that Jungkook allowed his heart to open and find refuge in your soul, welcoming your essence within him, sharing the same flame of passion with you. finally you were together. finally Jungkook could say everything he had kept to himself during these eternities. finally Jungkook said “i love you. i love you so much. but so, so much.”
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jungwondazed · 11 months
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god— imagine making vids of your sex with jungwon
he brings up the suggestion one day and the look on his face feigns innocence when he's really just a calculating, eager man.
"it wouldn't hurt to try right?" he turns his head back while his hands are still rummaging through the kitchen drawer, eyebrows raised and tongue poking the inside of his cheeks.
jungwon starts bringing it up every once in awhile because he doesn't wanna be forceful although it's something he can't stop thinking about. he lays in bed late at night imagining all the angles he would wanna try. how you'd look back at the camera, the look on your face when you cum, he'd watch it over and over.
"i just wanna have something to touch myself to when i'm away, you know what i mean right baby?" he's pressed against your back and kissing against your shoulder, hands caressing your thighs to your waist.
he uses the camera on his phone and it makes you anxious, you express how easily that could get leaked to which he shakes his head and promises it won't.
"look at me baby" he'll breathe out when you're circling his tip with your tongue. the attention makes your face turn red and you try to stop, and he presses his hand behind your head to prevent you from going anywhere.
jungwon likes setting the camera against the night stand so he can get an entire view of how hard he fucks you. his cock pounding up in you when you're on top of him, how much you whine and moan while turning your head back to him. the tape is noisy, all you hear are the loud sounds of your pussy getting stretched, your whimpering cries and his deep grunts. he touches you a lot and the camera follows it. his hands rubbing your lower back when he fucks you from the back, your throat being in the palm of his hands, his fingers pressing against your tongue.
and he loves praising you throughout the tape,
"look at my girl riding it so well, you wanna see yourself like this later don't you?"
"wanna see your pussy making a mess everywhere"
"so beautiful right now, ____ , keep going for me baby"
when you're both close he puts the camera on the bed and flips the camera so you two can see yourselves.
"i want us to cum together, i wanna watch it later and see how good you look cumming around me baby"
he stares at the camera the whole time as his speed picks up and when he finally cums his eyes are squeezed shut while he bites down hard on his lip, cussing and telling you how fucking good your pussy feels.
he sends you all the videos you've collected over your time together, and the next suggestion after awhile of filming all your sex, is having it play in the back when you two fuck.
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Hello helloo! I've a request but I hope it doesn't sound weird.. There is such a tradition in Turkey, maybe you know, or heard about it. Women add salt to their fiances coffee to show that marriage is not always sweet (during their unofficial engagement ceremony among their family and friends, Turkish coffee is served to everyone). Soo, I was thinking about it, what would ghost/könig/soap do if their s/o did it to them? Like their s/o sees a video about it and decides to try. I think that would be funny ehehe
Hi!! It's not weird at all! This one was a fun one to write. Hope this is what you were looking for!🙃❤️
Warnings: swearing
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Ghost/Soap/König's Reaction to Reader Pouring Salt in Their Coffee
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Simon "Ghost" Riley-
You and Simon had been together for years before he'd popped the question. In the years you'd been together, you'd never once pranked him.
Scrolling through your phone one day, you came across a video of a Turkish tradition where the bride puts salt in her groom's coffee, and he has to show no indication that he didn't enjoy it. You knew at that moment you wanted to try it on Simon.
He'd just gotten home from running some errands, so you decided to make him a coffee to "help him decompress".
He smiled warmly at you, and graciously accepted the coffee. "Thanks, love."
You bit your lip to hide a smile, and simply nodded your head. You watched his face scrunch up in disgust as he took a sip of the coffee.
"Bloody hell, what's in this?"
You faked a sad expression. "What do you mean? It's just coffee."
Simon took in your expression, and a frown formed on his face. "Love I- I meant no offense it's just. It's salty?"
Unable to hold up the facade any longer, you busted out laughing.
Simon was beyond confused at what was going on. "Babe?"
"I watched a video the other day, it's a Turkish tradition that the bride puts salt in her groom's coffee, and he has to not make a face. I thought it would be funny to try." You bit your lip to stop yourself from laughing further. "Your reaction was priceless."
"Glad you found it amusing, love. Now come try a sip of this shite yourself." He held the cup up to you for you to try. "Let's see how you react."
"Nope, not gonna happen." You said backing away from the mug.
"Get over here, babe." He moved closer to you as you proceeded to move away from.
What ensued was Simon trying to catch you and force you to drink your concoction.
Much to your dismay, Simon was a lot faster than you.
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König-
You'd seen the videos circling TikTok of the Turkish coffee tradition. You found the videos hilarious as you watched the different groom's reactions.
The more you watched them, the more you knew you wanted to try this out on your fiance König.
You'd gotten everything set, it was early morning and you knew König would be down any moment for his usual cup of coffee. You'd made the coffee just the way he liked, the only difference was, you'd poured about a tablespoon of salt in the cup.
König came downstairs with a radiant smile on his face. He saw you holding out a cup of coffee to him, and his eyes lit up. "Good morning Schat. That for me?"
"Morning! Yup, all for you. Made it myself." You were desperately trying not to laugh, as you didn't want to give anything away. "Just the way you like."
"Thank you, my love." He nodded at you before taking a sip from the cup.
You watched as he processed the taste. His nose scrunching slightly, as he turned his back to you.
"This. This is very good dear. Thank you." You could hear him struggling to get the words out, before a coughing fit consumed him.
He turned to you and mustered the best smile he could. "Tastes a bit different. But it's. It's good. Yes."
He moved to take another sip, clearly pretending to enjoy the coffee for your sake so as not to hurt your feelings.
"Kö, baby you don't have to drink it, it's okay." You giggled.
"No love you made it. I shall drink it." You could see that he was doing his best not to gag.
"Baby, it was a joke. I saw a video on tik tok that it's a Turkish tradition to put salt in the groom's coffee to test his reaction. It's evidently a way of saying marriage won't always be sweet."
König visibly relaxed at this, clearly happy he didn't have to continue to drink the coffee. "I hope I have responded well, Schatz. That was not sweet at all. Frankly that was utter shit."
You cackled at his reply and moved to wrap yourself against his torso. "God, I love you, I can't wait to marry you Kö."
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Johnny "Soap" MacTavish-
The two of you had actually both seen the tik tok, on your own. The minute you'd seen the video, you knew you wanted to try it on Johnny.
You both were in your kitchen, getting ready for your day, when you approached each other, drinks in hand.
"Aye, bug I made you tea. Two creams with extra sugar." He said with a shit eating grin.
"Oh. Well. I made you a coffee. Great minds think alike, huh?" You asked sheepishly, handing the coffee to him.
"What's the occasion?" He asked with a raised brow.
"Just seemed tired, wanted to make you a cup?" You took the tea from him, and studied it closely. In all your years together, he'd never once made you a cup of tea.
"Well thank ye." Soap smiled at you, and moved to take a sip. You watched as his eyes widened, and he immediately spit out the coffee.
"The fuck? You did not." He was laughing hysterically.
You smiled to yourself, before taking a sip of the tea he made you, only to be met with the worst tasting liquid you'd ever experienced. "Good grief Johnny, what the hell is this?" You scrunched your face up in disgust.
"Seems we both had the same idea." He winked, a wicked grin forming on his face.
"Oh my God, did you watch the same video? The Turkish salt in coffee tradition?"
"That I did love. Looks like I'm gonna be the best husband ever."
"Your reaction was terrible! That proves nothing!"
"My dear, you should know, marriage won't always be this sweet." He sauntered up to you, leaning down to place a kiss on your lips. "Your lips, uh, taste a little salty, dear."
"Screw you, MacTavish."
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A/N: hope you enjoyed!! Thanks for reading🙃❤️
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honeytonedhottie · 4 months
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exam prep⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🗒️
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ik that its exam season and a lot of us girlies have exams coming up (me included) so i made a plan for how to prepare so that u all can SLAY your exams, so lets lock in 🎀
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WORK WITH THE SCHEDULE ;
look at ur exam schedule and the exam that u have to take the soonest is the exam that u should be studying for the most. when ur doing exam day study sessions, study for all ur exams but give urself extra time to study for the ones that u have the soonest.
EXAM STUDY SESSIONS ;
put ur phone on do not disturb and lock IN. try and find a different place to sit and study because a change of scenery helps so much, plus ur like a billion times more productive when ur not studying in ur bed yk? find a place like a coffee shop to have a study session.
use bright colors to distinguish between topics and the main thing to remember when studying is what do i know already? what do i still not know?
study in specific time intervals (30 minutes of studying -> 20 minutes of downtime) that way ur not burning urself out too much. i have countless resources and posts about how to study, study methods etc on my blog so check those out if u dont know where to start.
FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO STAY FOCUSED? ;
when i find myself getting side-tracked and not being able to focus on my studying i make one of those sped-up study videos because i love to watch them. whenever i watch them i feel so motivated to study so to make my own forces me to lock in.
studying does not have to be boring! sometimes when im forcing myself to study i'll imagine that studying is a job and im working agreed hours. that gives me something to occupy myself with while i study.
lastly, if ur stressed about exams coming up just remind urself that you've GOT this and you're going to do amazing because you are smart and talented and absolutely glamorous! ✨🎀
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beatrixstonehill2 · 2 months
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"What is up, my beautiful people? Madison here, notice anything different? I'm sure you did.... yes my voice is deeper. Bet you can probably guess why. The speculation on discord was 100% right, I'm detransitioning! Woot! My roommates convinced me. We were all showering together and, like, they said my boobs are really pretty but they're right, it's pathetic that I only have a three-inch cock. They tried to suck me off for fun but all that estrogen made it so flaccid they could barely help me get it up. They asked me if I ever thought about detransing and stop pretending to be a girl. They showed me lots of detrans videos and it really changed my mind.
Like I totally get it now that I'm just a boy who fantasizes about being a big-titted slut. Like all my opinions on how girls should behave come from porn, basically. I'm just acting how I wish girls would act! So, I feel kind of silly living 'as a girl' for so long. Like I can't even get my cock hard. It's great I forced my male body to grow a set of Hentai tits any normal girl would reduce in a heartbeat but I basically can't even cum because of my estrogen addiction? Enough's enough. I'm so happy my roommates brought me to my senses and convinced me to detrans! I know, I've been dropping some big hints in the Discord, like asking how much T a trans girl should take if she wanted a really big cock and didn't mind going through male puberty. Some of you thought I was just trying to get a big dick but a lot of you knew what was up.....
Sorry to anyone who really loved my girly content, try-on hauls, bikini vids, my many dancing and bouncing vids, and of course all the vids of me getting ass fucked at the club, usually in the men's room, fittingly enough. So my roommates have laid out a masculinization plan for me! No shaving at all from now on, especially once my facial hair and chest hair come in. No masturbating, no matter how horny I am, I have to fuck real girls and not just fakegirls/femboys. I having to work out and take this protein weight gainer stuff they bought me, so I bulk up. I have to throw out my girl clothes and make up starting today and only wear boy clothes. I have to keep my hair short. Any girls I see with big tits, a fat ass, or a big pregnant belly, I have to catcall and compliment, or just hit on them and make a lewd remark. If they get disgusted or slap me: good! I'm a man, I need to start being honest about how horny and perverted I am. I need to grope and touch at least ten women a day. I'm allowed to pump my cock like I'm jerking off but only if a girl can see me do it like I'm jerking of to them, but I'm not allowed to cum unless it's in a girl's mouth, her tits (but only if she's tit fucking me), her pussy or ass.
Unsurprisingly my roomates also expect me to get them pregnant once my sperm count returns to normal, saying I 'owe them' for having to watch a perverted boy with estrogen-fattened man boobs strut around all day in dresses and bikinis. Not a bad trade, but I can only imagine how needy they'll be once I'm totally detransed. Oh, and last but not least my breasts are getting removed live, right here on TikTok tomorrow morning! So if you ever wanted to see my big jiggly boy tits get mangled and chopped off by my roommates, who are both med students with a pretty good track record doing surgeries like this. They gave each other breast reductions last year, going from a G-cup and a JJ-cup to an A and B cup! So I trust they'll get my big fat tits off in a jiffy. I'll miss them, but I have to remember that's just my pervy boy brain wishing I was groping a big pair of tits, not that I actually want to have a pair myself! And soon enough I'll be fucking big-breasted sluts all around town like the man I'm meant to be! Can't wait! ❤️"
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nkjemisin · 5 months
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Hey there. I'm writing a story set in New York City and am not American. I have few characters, but most of them are arab or white. I can't help but feel a bit wrong about it, given that America is much more diverse than that, and NYC being an emblem of that. Do you think I should force myself to include more representation or should I just tell my story, and leave that more diverse cast to some other story I could write? I know this is a neverending debate and there are many opinions about it, but I've always agreed with everything you've said in matters of representation in fiction, and so I'd be curious to know your personal answer on it.
I'm a little confused by how you're using "representation," here. It sounds like you think representation = "randomly sticking BIPOC everywhere." I think when most people use that word, it means something more like "create an accurate or at least plausible depiction of a group or place." In actual New York, there are plenty of Middle Easterners and white people who live in relatively homogeneous small communities where they might only see someone of a different ethnicity on the subway. If your story is set in one of those communities -- and you do stick some random BIPOC in that subway scene, because that's plausible -- then it sounds like your characters might be an example of good representation.
(Note: if you're not writing something set in the real world, but it features human beings, it needs to represent humanity as a whole, unless there's a good in-world reason not to. But if it's our world? You can get specific.)
Here's the catch, tho: plausibility is relative. If you've absorbed some biases and haven't done enough research, then you might end up writing something that feels plausible to you, but which isn't actually representative or plausible to anyone else. The way to avoid this is to do the research and check (to the best of your ability) your biases. For example, you aren't American, I assume you've at least visited NYC? If not, you should. You can visit some of the communities I mentioned! You can eat in restaurants, visit mosques, have conversations with actual real people who are living the life you're writing about! If you don't have the time, money, or spoons to do that, there are other ways to do good research -- films and YT/Tiktok videos made by people from the communities in question, for example. But you'd need to watch a lot of them to get a good representative sample.
I recommend this book to all the writing students I've taught at Clarion, and other writer workshops: Writing the Other, by Nisi Shawl and Cynthia Ward. There's a particular part of it that seems relevant here, which is a kind of hierarchy of "appropriate" appropriation, I think first mentioned by Diantha Day Sprouse but included in Writing the Other. Basically it says that if you want to write about a culture that isn't your own, you can learn about that culture in one of several ways: a) You can be an Invader, and just go take whatever intellectual and artistic tidbits from that culture that you want, regardless of how damaging this might be to members of that group. Example: non-Indigenous people who write about actual secret practices, or who encourage the desecration of sacred places. b) You can be a Tourist, in which you're still mooching from that culture, but at least you're figuratively paying someone for it and accepting tidbits that the culture has chosen to sell. Example: getting a sensitivity reader. Or c) you can be an Invited Guest, who brings in as much as they take out, and who has formed relationships that are beneficial to all involved. Example: being part of an exchange program, both as a student and later as a host, and maintaining those friendships outside of the program.
The goal is to be an IG, but that isn't always possible. Tourist is still better than being an Invader. (...I feel like I'm leaving out a category. It's been a while since I read the book; any more recent readers want to check me here?) But the closer you can get to actually participating in that culture, the more your work will be informed by reality instead of biases or misinformation, and the more likely your work will read as plausible not just to you, but to your widest possible audience -- people familiar with the culture and people who aren't.
(I'm a little concerned about your phrasing of "force myself to include more representation," note. Why would that need to be a forced thing? A writer's goal should be to write something that feels lived-in and authentic to [if it's a real place] most people's experience -- not to meet some arbitrary standard, but because that's how you master immersion and characterization. If good immersion and characterization feel forced to you right now, that suggests you need more practice. I recommend writing short stories!)
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razorblade180 · 4 months
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9 days of Lancaster Day 9: Firsts
Ruby:(Don’t over complicate this. Don’t do it. Just relax… relax…)
Jaune:Uh Rubes?
Ruby:Y-Yes!?
Jaune:Are you gonna hit retry or…
She turns her head and notices they’re on they’re on the ranking screen. When did the match end!? Ruby finally hits continue. Jaune can’t help but chuckle a little as he leans back against Blake’s bed.
Ruby:What’s so funny?
Jaune:You seem a little lost in thought. Thinking of a way of outplaying me?
Ruby:I introduced you to this game. I know your skills.
Jaune:And yet I out rank you.
Ruby:Because you’re such a try hard! I’ve been busy on missions.
Jaune:Yeah that’s fair. It’s nice that you finally have time off. I would’ve thought your team would be knocked out for days. I was little shocked when you said you planned an all day video game date.
Ruby:I begged a little. Also called in a few favors. Weiss just needed a nice place to sleep, Blake is flexible and I became a pouty little sister for Yang.
Jaune:Qualities of a true leader.
Ruby:Shut up! I’m just happy you didn’t procrastinate on any assignments.
Jaune:Pyrrha said she’d add Nora to my training if I did.
Ruby:Yeah that would get me moving too. Soooo you’re really free ?
Jaune:Yep, I’m all yours for the day. Any game you need a partner in, I’ll help you see credits.
Ruby:…And if we get tired of games?
Jaune:We got movies. There’s a couple good ones that came while you were away. Or ones you’ll force me to watch.
Ruby:Stop acting like you don’t like horror.
Jaune:It really isn’t an act. But you planned all this and who am I to not appreciate that.
Ruby:So you’re done for anything?
Jaune:Yep!
Ruby:*red* Even…oh I don’t know, sleeping together?
Jaune’s hands stopped pressing buttons and Ruby managed to send him to the loser screen. It wasn’t intentional but a small boost of confidence as she turned her head right to see him looking at her with a flushed red face.
Ruby:Don’t make it weird!
Jaune:Me!? What!? You just- context please! Was that a ploy to win!?
Ruby:I’m not that petty! Look I just…. *plays with hair* thought maybe we should discuss that idea. We’ve been together for almost five months and it’s been really great! It’s felt a little weird though that you never seemed to make a move or bring up “that”
Jaune: Do I really give off that sorta vibe? I had no idea.
Ruby:I’m not saying you do, but between how you used to try flirting with Weiss and our casual conversations, it didn’t feel like you weren’t into more intimate things. Ugh, I really don’t know what I’m saying at this point! I guess a part of me felt a little confused and worried if you weren’t interested in me in that way at all.
Jaune:Oh I have had thoughts, but i know how to keep them to myself.
Ruby:….
Jaune:*blushing* That’s normal and decent behavior! Why, are you interested?
Ruby:Of course! I organized I room date to give you the opportunity to-
Saying it aloud made it sound way more embarrassing and forward than Ruby meant for it to be. And pulled her hood over her head and huffed in defeat as she stared down at her lap.
Jaune:….Does your team know about this?
Ruby:Blake does. She said her bed is fair game. Those are actually my sheets right now. As far as Yang is concerned, I asked for privacy so we can have our first kiss.
Jaune:We’ve made out a bunch of times.
Ruby:I’m very sneaky when I want to be. Look, I get this is a lot I’m dropping on you and we don’t have to do anything today. I just…really wanted to know where I stand with you and to let you know that…I’m okay with going further with you. *crimson* I really like you. A lot.
Jaune:…This question may sound a little dumb all things considering, but I have to hear it. I get that you’re okay with it, but do you want to have sex with me? As in your are looking forward to it?
Ruby:…Very much, yeah.
Jaune:….Hold on just one moment.
He took her scroll and walked out of the room. Ruby wanted to scream until she passed out. Why did she start this conversation!? Was it too forward!? They were having such a good time before this moment. Why did he leave!?
So many thoughts bombarded her brain and they didn’t stop when she heard the door unlock again. Her scroll flew into her lap so she knew it was him. Seconds later, a box of condoms fell into her lap. Her brain took a moment to process what she was looking at then her head immediately jerked up to see Jaune bright red and also avoiding her gaze.
Jaune: Nora may have helped me find female ones too, as well as emergency pills.
Ruby:Ah, I see. How proactive. Well…*twiddles fingers* Weiss may have helped me find a pay for some quality meds awhile go.
Jaune:Huh, imagine that.
Ruby:Yeeeep. Jaune, can you look at me?
Jaune:*makes eye contact*
Ruby:Soooo are we…still playing video games right now?
Jaune:…..
xxxxxx
Blake:*eating noodles*
Yang:You think the date is going well?
Weiss:Yes. *eating cake*
Yang:Really think she’ll go for a kiss?
Blake:Ruby can dive into a Nevermore’s mouth. She’ll find the willpower to kiss a boy.
Yang:….Maybe I should call t-
Weiss:Yang, as a younger sister myself, I appreciate my older sister. However, if she interrupted me on a date with a call or coming home early, I’m going to be mad for a very long time. Eat your burger and relax. Ruby will be fine.
Yang: I know, ugh! It’s like I’m antsy for her. Gods, if I’m like this now then I don’t know if I can handle her asking about sex.
Blake and Weiss:Don’t worry about that now.
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