#but if you know how to make the readmore work please let me know

[misty-caligula]

Okay this is gonna be long, but I’ve got a lot of ground to cover so please bear with me. In a real way, this is my series thesis.

I’ve said before, many times now (like a cycle) that for me the most important scene is ep 1 act 1 scene 1. There’s something There that I have been struggling to see clearly, struggling to articulate, and s2e9 really finally gave me the last pieces for it.

I think that Pit Girl is the point of the entire story. But not in the way that I thought going in. I feel like I’m rambling, so I’m going to try to structure my thoughts.

Imagine you’re a new viewer. You haven’t watched yj start to finish 30 times, you’ve never even buzzed before. You turn on the tv and the FIRST thing that happens is you see ... brutality. A half dressed girl chased through the freezing woods, murdered without a chance. They drag her through the snow, string her up, pour her blood on the ground. Hack her into unrecognisable chunks. Sit around in scary outfits and rip at her, with a huge focus on the teeth, as horror music plays. Then, Misty takes off her mask, puts on her glasses, and does the worst possible thing. She smiles. Directly at you.

Again, forget everything you know and go on vibes. You’re seeing the teens pre-crash, and you’re seeing them in the third timeline, fully formed, with horror motifs and covered in fur. You’d be mistaken for thinking that you were seeing start and end. Except that... we know, and you know, that Pit Girl is the middle. These monsters somehow came back from this. How? When they’re so so so far gone?

Hence the show. I know I’m not breaking new ground here, but bear with me. I’m going somewhere.

(Edit: Readmore added because honestly, LONG post)

You’d be forgiven, fresh-faced new viewer, for thinking you were watching some kind of gross-out slasher. But what happens in S1? Restraint. Laura Lee, the first non-crash victim dies at the end of episode eight. Jackie end of ep 10. (For the sake of this thesis we’re going to be almost exclusively focused on the teens.)

And yet there’s this tonal shift, It’s like ... inevitability. Like watching a crack in a window that’s very slowly spreading. Everything is steadily Getting Worse. The weather is slowly getting colder, the days are getting darker, food’s getting scarcer, life is getting harder. But so much of this difficulty is coming from external events and pressure. Yes, cracks start to show in the internal relationship dynamics, of course, but if food was plentiful, if shrooms were less so, if the weather were better, then they could probably work out a very long term stable situation. Sadly for them, things are not stable, and the pressure is building.

Then Jackie dies and the glass gets a really big break.

It’s worth mentioning at this moment that Jackie at any time could’ve come the fuck inside. Safety and warmth and even love were available to her. All it would’ve required was for her not to be the centre of the world. To make actual goddamn concessions and join the team. Which is why she couldn’t possibly make that choice, because she had to be invited, she had to be apologised to, she had to be accommodated. She couldn’t see the rest of the ‘jackets as being people who just like her were in a really shitty situation. She saw them as being external, as being in cahoots against her, as being part of some Thing that she wasn’t in on. She couldn’t let go of the society they’d left, and she preferred to die. Which sure is a choice...

Keep all of that in mind though. We’re taught to blame Shauna for Jackie’s choices. Let’s stop with that. Jackie chose not to assimilate, she looked around the cabin at the team eating the bear and praying to the wilderness and instead of just paying lip service to fit in, like Tai, she decided to put her foot down and make a Thing of it. She decided that being Right was more important than being Included.

Seriously, keep that in mind, we’re coming back to it. Cycles, you know...

Season 2, everyone’s hungry and hey we have this spare Jackie lying around. And we joke like “ha, you gonna eat that?” Only...

No. They WEREN’T going to eat her.

Really think about that for a second. They put her in the meat shed. With the bear. Think about what that does, psychologically. Linguistically. The meat shed is made to store food. The bear has a word: carcass. Day after day after week after month they carve progressively more pathetic chunks from it, subsisting on what little it offers. In the EXACT same room, sitting right there is Jackie. Her body has a different name. Corpse. With many different connotations. At NO point does ANY of them raise the fact that they’ve taken their friend and added her to their meat stockpile.

Because they haven’t. Instead, they’ve added a new sub-room. The meat shed is now also a morgue. And nobody ever once had to say it. They got it. We got it. You got it. And while they starved and their bodies BEGGED for food, Jackie’s corpse lay there, frozen and fresh, and stubbornly refused to become a carcass, because they wouldn’t let it. They knew that there were more important things than meat, even when they were starving.

The bacchanal was a mistake. A literal error. It simply wasn’t planned, wasn’t meant to go down that way. Maybe if they HAD considered that route earlier and had a discussion about it they’d have been prepared, psychologically, maybe if they weren’t so starved. Who knows. But in the middle of the night they were offered a way out, and they took it.

But Shauna took it first.

Even in their state, even faced with an ideal roasted feast infront of them, they waited until Shauna said it was okay. Because Jackie was Shauna’s friend, and they knew that she was still a person. That this was still a corpse first. It was Shauna who was able to give them permission to survive. To turn a friend into a meal. It was not their place to take that step. To shoulder that guilt. So Shauna did it for them.

The next day they’re devastated. The heavy reality sets in, now the hunger is settled. And Jackie’s carcass is far too real, they can’t change her back into a corpse. Nat tries, bless her heart. But Tai’s screaming reaction at having eaten Jackie’s face is only an externalisation of the grief and horror and agony they’re all going through.

And after Jackie they starve again. Hope and heat and light dwindles further. Every single day they all take another step towards death. That’s what starvation is, it’s the same thing as dying, you die a little bit every day until you can’t die anymore.

Kristen falls. Misty doesn’t even consider that she might bring her back as meat. If she had’ve, she might think, maybe she’d be considered like ... heroic. It doesn’t even occur to her. She’s not going to LET those bitches eat her one and only friend, and she goes out of her way to protect her.

Shauna has her horror show birth. And, no matter WHAT the context is, she produces.... meat. In the most awful, brutal way. And while the fandom made so many jokes and stuff, the reality is that yes... at least to an extent there was real nutrients there. And it was never once even brought up as an option, by these desperate, starving girls. 

When Coach tries to kill himself, here’s a ready source of willing meat. And Misty uses it as a threat to stop him. But it’s hollow, she’s just putting on fake fangs to try to keep him safe. She’s not actually that vicious thing that she’s pretending to be, just like she’s not actually homophobic.

When Lottie tells Misty to eat her if she dies, Misty fights her on it. Lottie has to insist. Then when she tells the rest of the team, they are so overwhelmed with the selflessness of the gesture that it inspires them to twist it into their first hunt. That’s what it takes. The hunt is an act of self-sacrifice and love.

And so we get to the hunt. The proto-pit-girl, we’ve come full circle and we start to learn all these answers to questions posed in act 1 scene 1. And they’re not the answers that were assumed.

How do they get to the point of eating each other? They sacrifice themselves willingly, for the sake of each other’s survival.

Why do they hunt the way they do? Because Shauna just can’t stand to murder a friend in cold blood, a friend she cares for and has no reason to hate.

Why the spike pit? Because it keeps the blood off their hands. Because it lets them blame It and preserve a tiny fragment of their innocence.

Why the weird symbols? The ritual itself? Because they need SOMETHING to hold onto, to make it all make sense.

Why so brutal? Is it? We THINK it’s brutal. It’s certainly bloody. But Pit Girl dies almost instantly. Her pain is over fast. She doesn’t have a good time going into it, obviously, none of them want to die. But she chose to run, she could’ve taken the knife instead. And the spike trap was efficient. Yes they drag her through the snow and string her up, but it’s mechanical and just part of the process and she’s dead already. Her pain is over fast, it’s not sadistic.

Why do they chop her up into chunks like that? Because nobody wants to eat her face. Because nobody wants to struggle with her humanity, they want her to look just like any other meat. So that they might be having deer or bear or ... friend. They’re eating because they are biological machines that need to eat, that NEED death to survive. They didn’t ask to be made the way they are, and they’re doing their best to cope. Shauna, probably blindly, takes on that responsibility, to transform their friend into unrecognisable meat to change a corpse into a carcass. She takes that pain for them, holds that sin for them, out of love. So they can eat, so they can survive.

What’s with the creepy horror masks? During the ritual they can’t handle being themselves. They create alternate versions of themselves to hold what must be done. The masks aren’t there to scare anyone, because there IS NO AUDIENCE. The masks are there to hide behind. That’s why Misty takes hers off at the end of the scene. The ritual is over and they can go back to being people again.

Why is Misty fucking Quigley in charge? Because she CAN be. Because she’s strong enough. If Lott/Nat/The AQ is the goddess/queen, Misty is the priestess/handmaiden, tasked with actually carrying out her orders. She interprets the queens words when she’s too weak, she provides counsel when she needs it, she tells the team what they need to hear in the moment, she gives out the micromanagement. Misty’s the power behind the throne, because when she says she’ll do something she fucking follows through. No matter the cost. And what the team NEEDS, whether they choose to admit it or not, is a backbone.

So...

They bring home Javi. The music uses a reference that’s never been done before. It uses the spiritual powerballad that was playing when Laura Lee tried to fly away. It builds the expectation of Great Things, of big, potent ...

And then it just stops. As the girls are faced with the reality of what’s laying on the table. The cold, blue corpse of a soft child who never hurt anyone. No matter what they do, no matter how hard they try they just cannot make him a carcass. But they have made the choice already, and if they turn back now it’s not like it’ll bring him back. They’ll just be starving and regretful as he rots.

So Shauna, blind and shaking, does the best she can. And when she brings in the meat, she - of all people - understands EXACTLY what Travis is going through. She knows what he needs. Because she’s been here. With Jackie. So she brings him Javi’s heart. His core. His love. His soul.

(She doesn’t bring him Javi’s head. She cuts that off and puts it aside so nobody has to eat his face... Some things are worth more than pure nutritional survival.)

And Travis, god bless him, does the only thing he can do left to respect Javi. He takes his heart, and he bites it, raw and bloody.

It hurts him to do so. It disgusts him so much, but he manages not to throw up. It disgusts the girls too, but they watch on, horrified. And that’s the POINT. Travis makes sure that before they do this, before they do what they have to... that they all remember this is Javi, this is human, this is a person. And he preserves the horror. For all their sakes. And only then, after he’s given his blessing, after he’s done his human acts, do these starving, ravenous girls allow themselves to reach for their food.

S1E1. Act 1, scene 1. We do not know who Pit Girl is. We do not know the exact circumstances that get us there. But we do know where we started now. What the original meaning is behind each of these little things. And it’s not brutality, not barbarism. It’s love. It’s not lord of the flies, a bunch of monstrous human-shaped creatures giving in to their primal nature and predating on each other. It’s a team of terrified people desperately clutching at their own humanity as hard as they can. Trying SO hard not to let that glass break, to not become the thing that the framing of act 1 scene 1 tried so VERY hard to convince us they were. Context changes everything.

And the proof is in the pudding. After they eat Jackie the shock explodes throughout the cabin. The atmosphere is thick, and horrific. Now with Javi, reduced to simple meat, carefully and lovingly seperated from what made him human, so they can grieve him while they sate their natural needs, the mood post-eating is calm and soft and warm and loving. For once they’re all together,  with grateful full stomachs and in a time of peace and plenty. They’ve done the impossible and maintained their humanity and love for each other and their respect for Javi in a nearly impossible situation.

*takes a deep breath*

Which brings us to THIS asshole.

Right from the start, Jackie is only kind of part of the team. She’s the team captain, put up there by Coach Martinez, but not because she’s the best of them but because she can maybe wrangle them into doing better. And they KNOW that she’s not really one of them. They plot around her, and just don’t bring her in on it. They put up with her, more than loving her, she’s just kind of forced upon them. But she does her best, to try to maintain some semblance of order, giving pep talks and the like.

Wait, Jackie? I mean coach. My bad.

Anyway, so Jackie has one friend, Shauna. She SEEMS popular, and everyone talks to her, but Shauna’s the only one who actually likes her. And Shauna’s her connection point to the team. She’s got one foot on each side, and is torn as to where her real loyalties lie.

Sorry I’m talking about Jackie again.... weird.

In S1E9/10 Shauna finally chooses the team, for real. And Jackie tries to pull her back away, but Shauna puts her foot down. No way, she counters, I’m ON the team, you’re the odd one out. Why don’t YOU leave, Jackie? Jackie looks around at the burgeoning cult, she thinks “Look at these evil monstrous bitches, and now Shauna’s one of them TOO?” And instead of finding a compromise, instead of doing introspection, instead of anything like that, Jackie goes and freezes to death because it turns out that sheer rage won’t keep you warm in sub zero temperatures. Because no matter what happens, Jackie’s Right and it’s more important to her to be Right than Included. If she’s not in charge than why is she even THERE?

Hold on, I see my mistake. Let me backtrack.

Right from the start, Coach is only kind of part of the team. He’s trying to hide from his real life, from Paul and the complexities of being genuine in society by taking on the job of coaching the ‘jackets. And they KNOW that he’s not really one of them. He’s just the guy they have to listen to, because society put him there. But he tries his best, giving pep talks and the like.

So Coach has one friend, Natalie. He SEEMS popular, and everyone talks to him, but Nat’s the only one who actually likes him. (Ignore Misty, a schoolgirl comphet crush is not the same thing). And Nat’s his connection point to the team. She’s got one foot on each side, and is torn to where her real loyalties lie. Sometimes she’s on the bench with Coach, complaining about the state of things. Sometimes she’s in the thick of it with them all, and Coach is nowhere to be found.

In S2E9, Nat finally chooses the team, for real. And Coach tries to pull her back, but Nat puts her foot down. No way, she counters, I’m ON the team, I’m worse than them, you’re the odd one out. Go, save yourself, you don’t belong in this place. Coach looks at a table covered in blood and gore, at Nat’s face, at the rest of the team pledging fealty to her. And instead of looking for context, or looking for compromise, or even remotely trying to understand what he’s looking at he thinks

Look at these evil monstrous bitches. They’re eating each other. They’ve all gone mad. They’ve even gotten Nat now. There’s no hope for them, there’s no hope for anyone out here.

And he decides that they’re corrupt. That the way you deal with that is fire. And he’s wrong.

(I have a theory that he’s gone and jumped off the cliff, that he set the fire to clear the corruption, and now like Jackie, unable to live in this situation any longer, he’s decided to die himself. I’d not be surprised to find him in s3e1 that way)

Jackie was a frustrating, difficult person. Because no matter how things went she just COULDN’T let go of the fact that she was trying to fit a mold that just didn’t suit her. She was raised with super high expectations, when she was really just kind of mid. And that’s fine, honestly, most people ARE mid, that’s why it’s mid. But she refused to see that those around her were shedding their social pressures, were adapting to the wilderness. They weren’t having a good time, they weren’t hunting and foraging because they were out there, camping for fun. Nobody wanted to be there. They were just trying not to complain about it, because they were all in the same boat.

Coach is similar. He simply won’t adapt. Refuses to. I mean this is a guy who’s STILL trying to live in the closet when there’s open lesbians making out in public around him. Who thinks of others as inherently monstrous when he himself, as a gay man, should know better. Because that’s what trying to fit your society-assigned role does to you.

It’s no accident that he and Jackie both spend a long time in the woods and neither of them can do something as basic as start a fucking campfire. Javi, a little kid, survived for MONTHS on his own in that cave. Coach couldn’t make it a day alone. Jackie couldn’t get through a night. They both rely so heavily on the team without ever once recognising it. Because SOMEONE was keeping the fires going. They both just ... refused to engage.

And just like Jackie can’t see that they’re not having fun out there in the woods, on the knifes edge of survival, Coach can’t see that they’re not having fun when they are so desperate they feel it’s warranted to sacrifice one of their own. He always thought of them as monsters, and he just sees what he expects to: a bunch of stupid useless teenage girls, finally doing what he always expected they would.

At any point... At ANY point he could’ve come in from the cold. He could’ve just accepted reality as they have. He could’ve taken some meat and accepted the price, as they have, joined them in their GRIEF about it, shared their humanity, and survived. Just as Jackie could’ve come in from the cold, and become part of the whole. But instead, they sit in the cold, consumed by their bitter hate, and decide that no, it’s everyone ELSE who’s wrong.

And who emerges from the burning cabin? A bunch of scared kids. Shauna, the FIRST cannibal, who saves Jackie’s prom dress before anything else. Travis, who grabs Javi’s wolf. Nat who grabs the ammunition - that they NEVER use on each other - because if they lost that they’d get SERIOUSLY desperate. And they protect each other, they make sure everyone makes it out. These supposed monsters who are so far gone they don’t even care about eating each other go out of their way to save each other, not just themselves.

Because Coach is wrong. Just like Jackie was wrong. Just like WE were wrong, in s1e1. Which brings me to my actual point.

This question is asked so many times in S1 it’s almost a mantra. And the ‘jackets’ oath of silence really builds up that it must’ve been something REALLY bad, right? But S2E9 has really made me recognise that fundamentally... Act 1 Scene 1 is entirely what everyone who asks this question is expecting.

Imagine they DID know what really happened out there. With that bloodthirsty fucking look in their eyes...

They’re not looking for an answer. They’re looking for a story. For an exciting spooky nightmare they didn’t take part in, so they can get a shiver and a thrill they didn’t earn.

They’re not looking for a love story. They’re not looking to hear how HARD these scared, tragic, broken people fought to hold onto their morals and their humanity and their sanity even against their own survival. They’re not interested in Shauna blinding herself just to try to stop her hands from shaking. They’re not looking to hear about Travis choking down the blood of his brother just to make sure that he can really FEEL it. So he can share the guilt, and never ever pretend like it’s Just Meat. The look in his eye when he can’t think of any good response to Van’s arguments that he needs to let Javi save him. What they want is...

They don’t want the context. And if the ‘jackets ever did try to tell anybody what actually DID happen out there, all they would see is ... Episode 1, Act 1, Scene 1. A bunch of monsters. Eating each other. Just like Jackie. Just like Coach. Just like we did, on first glance.

I’ve been saying this whole time that Yellowjackets is doing something really special. That it’s letting us see behind the curtain, that while everyone’s asking this big question, “what really happened?”, we’re the ones who get to know. Because it can’t be told. It can’t be spoken. It can only be seen. Experienced. I think that S2 has finally finished the first major arc in the teen timeline, that we now have the context to understand what comes next. And I do believe that it will get messy, it will devolve. Into fighting and screaming and battles. It’s tragic, but it looks like that’s the downward spiral, spiraling. As Travis and Nat deal with the guilt of what they did with Javi for each other. As Shauna and Nat butt heads and people pick sides. As Misty Mistys. As resources get even more desperate now their shelter is gone. As potentially new people (hikers? other cabin people?) get brought into conflict with them (I believe the cabin is a smoke signal, personally).

But don’t ever forget that we got here with love. Expect that the downward spiral will be lubricated with toxic, broken, codependant, self-destructive love as well. Watch them love each other to death... they’ve already begun.

[thelordfool]

HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!

Long story short: I'm unemployed and will not, unlike what I originally thought, qualify for unemployment benefits.

Please read the readmore for additional context on why I'm unemployed. This post is basically a continuation/update/redo of this post. I'm suffering a sickness with no medicine the past week, applied for almost 100 jobs the last two weeks, am disabled/queer/nonbinary/tired of ebegging. I'm also in the negatives in my bank account because my car payment came out, so I need to get that covered.

pp/vm/ca

$250/$1151.51

i need at least $511.51 of this by the first. please spread if you're financially unable to help, every person this reaches helps! here's the breakdown of the costs: $640 - car payment + late fees $380 - rent $131.51 - negative amount in bank currently

Oh hey thanks for stopping by to read this annoying tale of woe and being angry at capitalism. Prepare for wall of text.

I once had two jobs. The first job, at a chain restaurant, was a bit of a clique-y experience where I was working my damndest to be the best bartender they ever had. I still have all the cocktails memorized. However, I continually faced discrimination in the form of severe misgendering, no matter how often I corrected them. I was also set up for failure. Usually, when someone gets hired for a position, there's some amount of training to be done, no matter how experienced they are, right? I was going in nearly entirely inexperienced into the role. I knew how to make cocktails, sure, and was and still am very good with people and selling. But I was trained for two days. Two. Then, on my first night alone (a Friday), I was watched by one of the bigwigs at corporate who saw every little flub and failure. This caused a demotion-ish. I was demoted to barback but was allowed the same privileges. Until their next visit. That upset the hell out of me - I was well trained by that point and could do it all, with one hand tied behind my back. I digress. It was about 2 months following my demotion when i finally walked out. A new bartender had been hired and she thought I was being a total creep by looking at a ticket that had just come in. She stormed off to report me to the manager who, even after hearing my side where I had asked her if there was anything on the ticket that I could grab, said that I "needed to communicate better," and "you should be learning from her," and "you're a grown man, you should know better." I don't think I need to explain why that was so upsetting.

But I didn't report them, because I just wanted to be done with it. I was also working another bartending job, and everythign was literally perfect other than the hours, honestly. I loved the product the distillery made, I loved the people I worked with, and most of all: I had my own regulars. Last month, they hired a new hospitality director, who announced there would be some restructuring, including getting rid of servers while also making a full dinner menu to serve alongside drinks. I said nothing of it, despite my disagreements, and she assured us all that no one would lose their jobs, but just moved into different roles. We all kinda grumbled about it, and I told her that under no circumstances would I work back of house. Easy peasy. Till it wasn't, and I came home to a voicemail while on break with my partner that I'd been let go due to the restructuring. So much for no one losing their jobs, right? I hadn't been the only victim of this. I have my suspicions as to why the new hospitality director did these things, but I've no energy to throw around conspiracies. All I know is that I was shafted by both of these places and I'm tired of being broke. I'm applying, still going to fight, and... sigh.

tl;dr (why did you click the readmore?): i left a job due to discrimination and lost another due to company restructuring and i'm tired and sad and aaaaa.

[eowynstwin]

Obviously if your asks aren’t open then feel free to disregard this- (love your work btw I just- I cant- 🥰)

Do you think they keep the dog tags *ON* during sex? How do you think they’d wear them during it? Would they have you wear them?

You don’t HAVE to answer for each individual character obviously if you would rather just do it as a whole or just one that’s fine! Whatever works for you 💕

*cracks knuckles* I’ll do ‘em all. (Sorry for the long post, I’ll put it under a readmore when I get home 🙏)

Do the Tags Stay on in Bed?

Ghost wears his tags because, like the mask, they just don't ever come off. He is two people when he is with you--Ghost is the creature that can protect you, that can do the things Simon Riley would have been too weak for when it comes to your safety. But Simon is the man that could have loved you properly. Simon is the man Ghost believes could make you coffee in the morning, could rub your neck at the end of a long day.

It isn't initially why he wears his tags when he fucks you, but it is now--Ghost holds you in an iron grip, looms over you as he thrusts into you hard enough to bang the headboard against the wall, and feels the tags with a dead man's name clink against his chest. They remind him that you deserve whatever is left of the man who would have been far better for you than Ghost ever could be.

Soap wears his tags fully out of pride. The SAS is his life, is a massive part of his identity, and while he knows not every mission he's sent on is wholly for the good, he holds onto his conviction to act with integrity and compassion no matter what. The SAS might not always do good, but he will, as much as he can.

He wants you to be proud of him, too--he's really doing it all for you, after all. When those tags hang between you as your legs are wrapped around his waist, as they come to rest on your chest when he leans down to kiss you, he wants you to know that when he wears them he's thinking of you.

Gaz has no preference, but more often than not they stay on because he forgets to take them off. Usually, it's because the moment you're both free with enough time to actually have sex, he isn't going to bother with silly things like getting completely undressed--he wants you, now.

So, they've whacked you in the face a couple times as the two of you have gone at it. It's too funny to get mad at, and Gaz always uses it as an excuse to "make it up to you." Sometimes he'll take them off, too, and put them around your neck instead. "Keep 'em safe for me, eh?" he says with a grin.

Price takes his tags off. Over 20 years of service have left him wanting something that exists apart from violence and bloodshed, and every moment he spends with you is that something. He doesn't want to be the Captain with you, not unless he has to be--putting his tags aside gives him permission to just be John with you.

Besides, they'd get in the way. John does his very, very best to please you, to satisfy you beyond any expectation you may have of him, and sometimes that leaves you needing to bite down on his neck to keep from screaming. You’d probably not prefer to break a tooth on the tags’ chain.

Alejandro also takes his tags off, although it’s less about keeping work and pleasure separate and more about the annoyance they can be. When he is with you, Alejo is focused wholly on you, and does not appreciate distractions of any sort. He doesn’t want to have to fling his tags around to get them out of the way, or let them hang to be caught on an errant foot or wrist.

He does, however, love to see you wear them. It’s totally a possessive thing, but in the best way—Alejo worships the ground you walk on, and seeing his name around your neck inspires the same awe usually reserved for the divine. He thinks you could have anyone you wanted, and is humbled daily that you continue to choose him.

Rudy doesn’t care either way if the tags are on or off, and if the topic ever comes up he leaves that up to you. It’s an attitude that is very in-character—Rudy’s satisfaction comes from ensuring that you are satisfied, no matter what. Rudy’s love language, hands down, is acts of service.

Similarly to Alejo, however, he does enjoy seeing you wear his tags. “They belong to you anyway, mi vida,” he’ll tell you, lining your neck with gentle kisses. “All of me does.” (He has been known, however, to forget where he puts them if they do come off. So it’s probably better if they stay on.)

Bonus: Valeria gave hers to you a long time ago. She asks very frequently to see them, to make sure you keep them with you at all times. She promised herself she would never, ever carry their weight again, but she also can’t quite bear to throw them away, so now they stay with the only person in the world that she trusts.

If you wear them to bed, it will inspire a frenzy in her that will leave you limping the next morning. Those tags are a past version of her, a version she emerged from like a snake shedding its skin. While she is never sure how to feel about that previous self, seeing you take care its vestiges satisfies an ache in Valeria that she will never acknowledge.

Bonus: Graves has mixed feelings about his tags overall, being that he is technically not required to wear them anymore. They don’t mean the same thing to him now that they used to. That doesn’t mean they aren’t always on him, of course—he keeps them tucked into his boots. So you never see them.

If you were to ever find them, bring them into the bedroom? It could go one of two ways. On the one hand, you could end up benefitting short-term from the frustrated agitation those tags inspire, with Graves using your body to relieve an old, invisible hurt you never knew about. He will withdraw from you afterwords, though, too caught up in himself to really connect with. On the other, he could just withdraw immediately, recede from you, and the tension of that encounter will linger for days. It’s best not to involve his tags at all.

[inklore]

🩸 — 𝐇𝐀𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐄𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍!

since the spooky season is fast approaching, and as a little kinktober appetizer, @psychedelic-ink and i have decided to do a little writing challenge to get us all excited and in the mood to be gripping the sheets from the spooky thrills of course.

and to keep this fun we have given you many many options! we have compiled a twelve day prompts list you can go by, or if that's not your thing we have listed twenty three different pick and choose options to create whatever kind of fic you want, even if you want to do half the days daily prompts but switch out this prompt dialogue for that au or trope or kink, you can literally do whatever your heart desires!

THE RULES.

the challenge will go on from the 19th - 30th of this month. you can do as many or as little amount of days as you choose.

any fandoms are welcome, literally any characters, ships, but please no rpf.

no minors should be interacting with let alone posting for this challenge.

dark content, light content, dubcon/noncon, is all welcomed but please tag everything accordingly. grooming, underage, and incest however are not allowed.

there are no word limits but please use that readmore.

tag #hauntedhoedown so we can read and reblog your work!

DAY ONE: taboo au + "i'll be your dirty little secret, if that's what you're into."

DAY TWO: murder plot au (lets kill this person together) + "crawl to me"

DAY THREE: inspired by your favorite lana del rey song (if not a lana fan then any fav song of yours) + stalker / yandere au or love triangle gone wrong

DAY FOUR: artificial intelligence au + "here, you are. you tiny thing."

DAY FIVE: gothic au + “worship me. until i tell you to stop.” + a masquerade au or a good ol' priest au

DAY SIX: animal shapeshifter au + "he's a monster" + "he's perfect"

DAY SEVEN: stranded au or slasher / summer camp au + sex in the woods or somewhere public (added bonus if it includes knife, blood, hunter x prey kink)

DAY EIGHT: cosmic horror au + "you're a fucking nightmare. kiss me."

DAY NINE: “do you like it when i bleed for you?” + the toxic exes trope or cult au

DAY TEN: zombie apocalypse au + "every moment might be our last, let's make the most of it."

DAY ELEVEN: black swan au or inspired by your fav psychological thriller + “they die for love, you kill for it.”

DAY TWELVE: vampire court au + "forever isn't long enough for me to forgive you."

if following the above isn't your thing and you want to pick and choose yourself that's great! we also highly rec this random generator if you wanna live life by the edge, each category has 23 options to pick and choose from so customize the generator accordingly!

AUs:

steampunk / cyber punk

fairytale retelling

revenge

mythology / monster

virtual reality

gothic

taboo (see great options here)

slasher

game gone wrong

witchcraft

addams family

bonnie and clyde

spy / secret agent

assassins

x-files

circus / carnival

hitch hiking

basement wife

time travel

urban legend(s)

american horror story inspired

vampire / supernatural

pirate / mermaid

DIALOGUE PROMPTS:

"do you like when i touch you like this? i can keep going if you want me to."

"i can see how badly you want this, so i'm going to make sure you get it." 

“this fear you feel? it won't last.”

“you are mine, whether you agree or not.”

“why do you keep following me?”

"i can't stop thinking about how perfect we would be together."

"you're not actually scared are you? of me?"

"i'm so close, can you feel it?"

"tell me what you want me to do and i'll do it, no matter the cost."

"you're like a sickness, a disease, and the only way for me to be cured of you is to let you completely consume me until my body has no fight left."

"i want to see you bleed."

"they're dead...because of you."

“i will keep hurting. i will keep killing. anything to protect you.”

“everything i've done.. every horrible atrocity, it's been for you.”

"it's just a little blood."

“don't you know how sick with love i am for you?”

“i would burn the world for you.”

"this is so fucked up." "you like it."

"finders keepers."

"what's your favorite scary movie?"

"tell me you want me back. tell me i'm forgiven."

"you're a monster." "that's never stopped you before."

"i've killed for you, who else can say that?"

TROPES:

mob / mafia

soft!dark

dubcon / noncon

soulmate / fated mates

mind control / telepathy

cheating

final girl

once is not enough

haunted manor

dark academia

enemies to lovers

haunted object

vengeful ghost

coven

ritual / sacrifice / blood magic

unrequited love

creation / creator vs monster

'i'll find you in every universe / century'

reverse harem

cursed / fuck or die

curiosity killed the cat

theatre phantom

fate worse than death

KINKS:

biting

corruption / authoritarian

somnophilia

begging

dacryphilia

breath play

knife play / blood play

jealousy / sharing / possessive

aphrodisiacs

hunter / prey

humiliation / degradation

mirror sex

deprivation / immobilized / bondage

costume

size

orgasm denial / overstimulation / edging

body worship

shotgunning / swallowing / facial

gagging

torture / surrender

hate sex / make up sex / phone sex

magical healing [redacted]

soft!dom / pleasure!dom

ETC PROMPTS:

a summer fling gone horrible wrong, or right

1970s porno filming (turned into a blood bath)

touch her and die except who the hell are you and why are you obsessed with me?

a trip to the circus (or carnival) ends with you stuck there...forever

you just inherited this creepy mansion where people where murdered what could go wrong?

a ritual gone wrong and now i'm bound to a demon

if 'this person' ever found out about this they would kill both of us (literally)

oh no i'm dating the town serial killer

passionate professor tells me to prove my devotion to the craft / class by doing something insane

we're the last people on the planet and you will be mine

daydreaming about being with you is better than actually being with you because i missed all the red flags and now it's too late

i got casted out of my world and ended up wounded and bloodied in your backyard, convince me why i shouldn't destroy your world out of anger

vampire has a taste for specific blood and looks like you have it

the creepy neighbor is too hot to be insane, right?

i keep seeing them in my dreams and i wake up with bruises and marks on my skin, it's definitely just wild dreams, right?

loving you is easier than hating you

got stranded in some little town that seems so cute, until night hits

'this person' ordered me to kill you but i actually think i'm in love with you

my lover is wearing the same costume as you and i can't tell the difference but i'm pretty sure it's them i'm fucking in this closet...pretty sure

confessing to a murder via a silly little ghost story around a campfire (but someone reads through the lies)

how far would you go for love? for the one you love?

in a past life you were the cause of my death so i'm here to exact revenge now that i've found you

we're at a fun little horror movie reenactment except people are really dying

we tried to make this writing challenge as fun and very 'choose your own adventure-like' as much as possible because we know how hard it is to stay motivated when doing these things.

so please feel free to use any and all of the prompts, tropes, kinks, etc as you wish. we're just super excited to see what ya'll come up with!!

so good luck and stay slutty spooky <3

[bruisedboys]

Congratulations on 3,000 followers! The feat is well deserved, your writing is beautiful, thank you for sharing your talent with us.

If you can fit me in (no worries if not!), could I request a little blurb for the celly - Little Women, if possible with shy!reader and the prompt, "you look like you could use a hug," and our beautiful boy Steve Harrington?

Thank you! Regardless if you get to write it or not, just wanted to express my gratitude and felicitations :)

thank you angel!! such a cute prompt to write omg

summary: steve gives shy!you a hug

shy!fem!reader 0.5k words

Steve can tell from the moment you walk into work that you’ve had a bad morning. Your usual soft smile is missing, replaced by a frown that makes Steve’s heart twang. You’re staring at your shoes when you walk in, when usually you’ll beam at Steve and run at him for a hug. Don’t get him wrong, you’re not a ball of energy all the time. You’re shy and soft and quiet. But today you’re very obviously morose.

Steve thinks he might cry.

“Baby,” he says in way of greeting. He rounds the counter but doesn’t touch you yet, just in case. “Hi.”

You push the tips of your shoes together and then look up. “Hi, Steve,” you say, very quietly. Quieter than usual, at least. You’re still frowning. Steve wants desperately to kiss it away.

“Are you—?” He reaches out to take your wrist but changes his mind. His hand is left floating mid-air. “Um. You look like you could use a hug. Can I give you one?”

You look up at Steve with so much hope it makes his chest hurt. “Yeah, please,” you say, all soft desperation.

Steve doesn’t need to be told twice. He steps into your space and gets his arms around you. Your backpack’s kind of in the way and your work badge is digging into his chest but he really can’t bring himself to care. You’re melting into his hold and it’s all Steve can do not to burst into tears.

“Had a hard morning?” He asks into your hair, soft as he possibly can.

You nod into his chest, your nose pressing into the space between his pecs. Steve pulls you closer still, until he’s almost lifting you, until your face is squashed into his chest and he thinks if he squeezes you any tighter you’ll suffocate.

When he feels your hot tears soaking through his shirt he first panics, then tries not to when he realises it’ll probably make you more upset. Still, he encourages your face from his chest, letting you cling to his waist as he takes your teary face in his hands.

“Sweetheart,” he coos. Your cheeks are flushed under his hands and your eyelashes sticky with tears.

“Sorry,” you whisper, all shaky. “I don’t know why I’m crying. Sorry, Steve.”

You go to pull away, probably to wipe the tears from your face, but Steve doesn’t budge. He’ll wipe your tears for you, thank you very much.

“Baby,” he says, holding you still. “Don’t be sorry. It’s okay.”

You blink up at Steve, all sad and pretty. How you look so beautiful even when you’re crying is beside him.

“I think I just really needed a hug,” you say softly.

Steve’s heart does a funny backflip in his chest. He drags his thumbs under your eyes, pushing your tears away.

“Yeah?” He asks, his hands sliding to your shoulders. He squeezes you. “Do you want another one?”

You nod and Steve wraps you up in his hold again. He’s prepared to hug you all day, if you need him to.

-

fixing readmore glitch

[foundfamilyhq]

Welcome + Rules

Welcome to the Tumblr Found Family HQ! Here, we present your blorbos to the masses to have them vote upon whether they should be added to the collective tumblr found family or not. Submit your blorbos here:

See which blorbos have already joined the found family HERE! To avoid seeing the results posts, mute "ff results" The rules are: 1. Play nice; be respectful to others 2. Blorbos can be of any age, since a found family can be just that. So feel free to submit a one-day old infant or a ten thousand year old tree, if those are your blorbos 3. No Harry Potter (or other titles associated to this series or the author) 4. No real people (might make an exception if it's funny) 5. "No real people" includes no individual tumblr users, youtubers or streamers (this might seem obvious, but there were still a lot of them submitted) 6. No OCs. All your OCs are great and I'd feel sad if they got rejected from the found family F.A.Q. under readmore:

Q. When are submissions opening? (Pinning this one to the top, because it's by far the question we get the most) Short answer... I don't know, sorry! Long answer... Because of the way the blog is set up, it's very hard for me to figure that out. Basically, each fandom gets one poll a week, but as there are often multiple characters from some fandoms in the submissions form, it's a pain to figure out exactly how many characters are left to add new polls for when you factor out the repeat fandoms (and also, if a repeat fandom's poll would end before submissions are opened, then a new character from that fandom will be polled before submissions are opened, meaning I'd need to work that out as well). There are often about 200 characters in the submissions form, so you can understand this is too much for me to figure out manually, especially since I'm a full-time shift worker, so my schedule doesn't give me a lot of free time. I don't even like to give a ball park estimate to this question, because with being a shift worker, if I have to do a lot of extra work at short notice and can't meet when I said I'd open submissions, I feel like I'e let you all down and that feeling sucks However, when I do open submissions I try to vary it so that one round will be open at roughly 7-10am GMT and the next round will be open at roughly 7-10pm GMT, to try to catch as many people possible. I know that's not ideal for everyone and people have expressed disapointment about this in the past, but those are all the hours I'm able to give :(

Q. How does this work? A. A post featuring a blorbo shall be made, stating who they are and their source material. A poll will be attached set to one week, asking if the blorbo should join the tumblr found family. At the end of the week, based on the result, I will announce if the blorbo has joined or not Q. What is a found family? A. A found family is a family you find for yourself. It is a term often used in fandom to describe a group of characters who aren't related by blood (although a few members might be) but have come to think of each other as a family through circumstance. Alternatively, they might not be officially recognised as a found family in canon, but wider fanon regards them as such Q. Is this a tournament bracket? A. Nope, blorbos aren't competing against each other, they're only here to be judged by you. We are here enternally submitting blorbos (at least until I run out of steam or pass away lol) Q. I'm not sure if my blorbo counts because of ___ reason? A. If it's not any of the reasons mentioned in the rules, then feel free to send an ask. Or just submit them anyway and I'll decide Q. I submitted a blorbo and they haven't been posted. Did you get them? A. Again, feel free to send an ask. I don't have a regular schedule for posting these. Somedays there'll be batches of polls, others there'll be one or none Q. My blorbos are a duo/trio/etc., who cannot be separated. Can I submit them as a group? A. While I would prefer to stick to individual characters, if you have some who absolutely cannot be separated, I might make exceptions. Most likely, I'll make a poll asking if they should be judged as a group or individually, since there's a lot of media I won't be familiar with Q. My blorbo didn't get voted into the found family! Fuck you! A. Friend, as a fan of Theseus from Hades Game, I understand what it's like to have your fave hated by fandom. Anything decided on this blog can never affect your personal headcanons, so go in peace with your middle finger held high Q. What are your icon and header? A. The icon is of the Pokemon Bouffalant and Natu, based on a series of trading card art where Bouffalant finds two Natu and rescues them - the true spirit of found family. The header is a group of characters called the Black Ravens from the Professor Layton series - a group of ragtag working-class kids who make a black market together Q. I wrote some propaganda on the submission form, can you post it or send it back to me? A. Submissions are deleted as the polls are posted, so I can keep track of how many I have left to post, which means I can't do this. Please save your propaganda for the post and not the submissions form Q. Did you know you used fan art on ___ poll? A. Unless I'd mentioned getting permission from the artist, then please assume that I did not know and let me know. I hate art theft and wouldn't want to partake in that, but I'm just not familiar with a good 80% of the series submitted, so sometimes it might slip through the cracks Q. Can I submit a character who isn't my blorbo? A. Also fine! I enjoy it when people submit controversial characters to see how they'll do Q. What happens if there's a tie? A. The blorbo in question becomes an occassional family member who appears with our found family for some important cutscenes, but isn't officially considered part of the found family

Q. No, but seriously, my blorbo got ditched. Do they get another chance? A. At the beginning of each year we host a Redemption Event, where any past blorbos who were submitted get another chance. Because of the high volume of ditched characters, to be included in the event, your character will need to be submitted with propaganda via a form that will be released about a month before the event Q. I think the image used is a big reason why my blorbo got ditched. Why did you use that image? A. If an image hasn't been submitted, I will just grab one from an image search result in most cases. You know your blorbos best, so if you have a specific (non-fan art) image that you think shows them in their best light, please do submit it when you submit them Q. Did you mean the book version or movie version of that character? A. Whichever version of the blorbo that gets submitted, that'll be the one I use. If no specific version is mentioned, I'll just post that blorbo in general and use whatever image is most common when I look them up, unless an image has been submitted or a book cover has been requested to be used Q. My blorbo is a character played by a youtuber and/or streamer, not the youtuber or streamer themselves, is that okay? A. If it's a character, then it's fine. But please mention this on the submission. Because if I look them up and the result looks to be just some real person, that won't be included. I am largely unfamiliar with these kind of fandoms and will always err on the side of caution about their inclusion Q. What counts as a "sweep"? A. Any character who gets 90% or higher in either joining or not joining is counted as a sweep. This doesn't give them anything extra, it's just for bragging rights Q. What counts as a "close call"? A. Any character who's poll results are within the 49%-51% range for join/don't join is counted as a close call Q. How many characters can I submit at a time? A. There's no hard rule, since the form doesn't track emails, but please be considerate to others and try not to submit more than 10 characters per submission period. See next question for more details Q. How many characters from the same series can I submit at a time? A. Four (4) characters per series per submission period. I'll be lenient for if they've been submitted by multiple people, but from my experience running this blog, it's only the current Hot New Thing that'll be submitted by multiple people and anything else is usually one person submitting one character after another. I used to allow more, but people took this for granted and submitted 50+ from the same series, so now 4 is the cap Q. You missed a tag from that poll! Can it be added? A. Sure! Tags are either provided by the submitter or where left blank, I'll use my best guess. At minimum, you'll get the name of the character and series as they've been submitted. If you know more, let me know and I'll add them to the post during the voting period. Please note: The polls themselves cannot be edited after being posted, only the tags Q. Can fictional characters based on real people be submitted? A. Fictional characters that are inspired by real people (e.g. Steven Universe being inspired by Rebecca Sugar's brother) are generally fine. But characters that are basically just some real celebrity making a cameo somewhere (e.g. Simon Cowell appearing on the Simpsons), are a no. Q. I don't understand what this blog is A. Don't worry about it, friend. Just keep driving and whatever you do, don't wind down the window. We'll be safe soon :) Q. Didn't this blog used to be called the Found Family Adoption Agency? A. It did, but I were made aware that the language used on the blog could be seen as potentially harmful to real life adoptees, so I changed the name of the blog and made some edits to try to avoid using such language. Posts made prior to 5th May 2024 will still contain references to adopt/ditching, so tread with caution on older posts

[ms-fade]

Can you pleaseeeee do Lockwood eating out f.reader?

It’s cute

Anthony lockwood x Female reader. 18+ Drabble

Disclaimer: The “Readmore" sign has been causing glitches with my fics so apologize if it happens again. I have never really written female receiving and I don’t know why this didn’t turn out good? I apologize sweetheart.

Warnings: Poorly written female receiving, female receiving, dirty talk, kinda dominant vibes. Spelling mistakes.

His lips left soft trails of kisses up your leg, his touch was gentle and soft and your skin was full of goosebumps. He was so sweet and romantic, he told you that he wanted to pleasure you for the first time like you had done to him in the passed. But he expressed his worries of not doing it right.

“You’ll tell me if you need anything, right? I want to make you feel good.” He looked up at you with truthful eyes. But you saw the hint of desire and could tell he was almost impatient. “Of course.” You blushed and nodded at him.

His lips tugged into a smile as he returned to kisses along your thighs, him getting so close to your pussy made you want to close your legs. But he sensed your wish and put his hands on your legs to stop them from closing.

“You’re so shy, even when I’ve seen and touched you down here. Hell, I’ve even been far inside you but you’re still embarrassed.” His teeth tugged at the soft skin, “It’s cute.” You couldn’t help but gasp at the feeling of his teeth.

Anthony had finally had enough and needed to taste you. “Lay back for me.” You did as he asked and laidback onto his soft bed. He couldn’t believe how sexy you looked in front of him, spread out just for him.

His tongue started at then end and made its way up your pussy lips, he took it slow and got every taste he could out of it. His fingers came closer and ended at your thighs, but he still pushed them up to make you stretch out. He needed to get every inch of you.

His tongue found your clit and began to give it a few licks, each time and rhythm different then the last so he would tell what you liked. When he saw the way your mouth opened and closed your eyes in delight he knew how you liked it.

He didn’t give up even for a second while he ate you out, he was looking up at you the whole time. “Say my name, please.” He sucked on your spot and it made a pop when he let it go. “Need you to say my name.”

He was doing so good for his first time. It felt so much different to his fingers and it was so good. “Anthony.” You whimpered out and reached your hand down to his hair. “So good.” You cried, almost wanting to sob from the pleasure.

He moved down from your clit and stuck his tongue down your sobbing hole and moved his tongue around. “Yes!” You cried out as his hind came and started to rub your clit, his other reaching and pressing down on your stomach.

You opened your eyes and met his, looking up at you almost begging for you to cum- No, he was begging you to cum. To taste how you came with his mouth at work, he couldn’t get enough of it.

And he wouldn’t have enough until you’re begging him to stop as you cry. He’ll make your body twitch and ache for a break, because you were always so cute when overstimulated.

[crow-caller]

Well, hello!

My phone literally fell to pieces this morning. I can't film videos without it, and rather than repair it's in the long term a good idea to buy a good quality phone. I'm specifically looking at a price of about 700£, with my goal to raise as much as possible and cover the rest.

I feel tremendously awkward asking such a thing, but here I am. If you enjoy my videos and can spare anything, please check out my donation page.

I wish I could raise the money purely through commissions, but I don't want to burn out or further delay future videos. I don't know how much interest there is, but I'm opening limited 'thank you' art commissions (see here for examples), and even more limited writing critique. Exact details below of these below readmore.

These are thank you gifts, not commissions. I can't make hard promises on how much I'll be able to do.

Writing Critique wise:

I'm offering first chapter feedback specifically. I critique books on youtube, sure, but I also have a degree in publishing and creative writing and a Lot of experience. I like to leave a lot of inline comments as I read for the first time to help give you an impression of how a new reader experiences the text- then go over it as a whole and reread. I mostly read SF/F and will be more helpful in that sphere.

This is a lot of work! I can't handle many.

If you donate, leave a note on kofi or contact me if you're interested. I'll add you to a list and randomly select up to three people.

Art wise:

Leave me a note when you donate if you're interested in a thank you doodle. With these you'll get a little drawing like so:

Let me know if you have a preference for more chibi crayon look or clean lineless. I can contact you or you can put your request in a direct message.

These gifts are very much depending on my health and abilities- they're not guaranteed. (I wish I could.) I have NO IDEA how much interest or support I'll get and just can't promise.

[carminecherry]

PLAYGROUND | kazutora hanemiya

this is part one of the series put a collar on your pet

⇝ PAIRING: timeskip!kazutora hanemiya x bff fem!reader

⇝ SERIES SYNOPSIS: kazutora has wanted a neck tattoo since middle school. after you get a tattoo apprenticeship in the city, he wants you to be the one to do his neckpiece. however, the neck is an awfully sensitive spot. especially for a first tattoo. some people handle pain better than others. some people even enjoy it...

⇝ PART ONE LENGTH: 2.5k words

⇝ PART ONE WARNINGS: slight nsfw (18+ minors do not interact):

all characters are 20+; AU! where kazutora never got a neck tattoo; cuddling, drinking, a little angst, teasing, chasing, tickling; kazutora is a playboy, you're his bff who he can always count on, you're the last person to admit his charms phase you, he comes to you after yet another break up, would you risk your friendship to confess to your womanizer bff? also, you find out that kazutora is ticklish.

⇝ AUTHOR'S NOTE: lots of spice in the next part, this is mostly for tension and build up, enjoy <3

DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS WORK IF YOU ARE A MINOR. BY CLICKING THE READMORE, YOU CONSENT TO VIEWING ADULT CONTENT.

“C’mon~” He whined. A pout, curving his lips. “I don’t know, Kazu… I just became an apprentice. Shouldn’t you go to someone, I don’t know, more professional?”

You take a swig from the tall can you bought at the convenience store, the tinny metal tainting the taste in a familiar way. Despite being 7% it was making your head swirl pleasantly already. 

He sighs, pulling you close to him on the wooden park bench, littered with small carvings and ink; some of which you and the gang have contributed over the years.

It sits in an area that's slightly secluded, a grove of shrubs and trees blocking it from view. It was the perfect spot for smoking or drinking in privacy. Once you and the gang stumbled upon it back in high school, you’ve kept coming back. 

You run your fingers over the weathered graffiti, ignoring the man nuzzling into you, finding a spot on the seat. A smile tugs at your lips. It's a little heart with a dagger through it. Basic, but it had been the design of your first flash tattoo.

You remember the night you practiced drawing it here on the bench and how Kazu, Baji, and Chifuyu and volunteered to let you sketch it on them in sharpie.

A feeling of nostalgia warms your chest. You also remember a younger, very intoxicated, Kazu swearing he'd only ever get a tattoo if you were the one to do it. This park, this spot, this bench, holds so many memories.

You take a deep breath in, letting the cool, night air fill your lungs. The sun set a long time ago, but the air still held a slight dampness from the humidity of the day. It’s one of those nights where you can feel fall creeping in.

“I don’t wanna go to just anyone, I want it to be done by you.” You can’t fight the blush that dusts your cheeks, much to your chagrin. He’s always been a huge flirt, that stupid pretty boy. You hate it when his methods have an effect on you. “Yeah, yeah, flattery that’s not gonna work on me Kazu. You just want a discount.” You lie, feeling your heart rate increase with his lingering proximity. He plasters on an innocent face, but the glint in his golden eyes gives him away, it always does. 

“Pretty, please. It won’t be right if it isn’t you.” He whines, throwing himself over you in a dramatic display. You huff. He knows what he’s doing, he always teases you like this. Making you put your guard up and shut him down. The helpless flirt, the devil. He rotates his head against your shoulder, making his earring jingle, bringing his chin to rest there comfortably. 

You can feel his breath on your cheek, smell his shampoo, his detergent, his cologne mixing together; light but strong- like the crisp, cold air of a shopping mall. You like the smell, though you’d never admit it. You’re wrapped in it, enjoying it for as long as you can before he notices. He’s quick to poke fun at everyone, especially you, a trait you have mixed feelings about.

You hear his soft breathing in your ear, that flustered feeling building. You break first, “I’ll… Talk to my boss. But-” He’s crushing you in a hug before you can finish. “Don’t go getting your hopes up.” You choke out. “Is your boss the hot one? Give her my number if she needs some persuading.” “Ew. No. That’s Amy, and ONE she has a girlfriend, TWO my boss is Rei, big, bald, lots of tattoos, sunglasses, yeah?” “He pouts again, "I’m not super into guys but give him my number nonetheless.” “You’re ridiculous.” You finally shake him off. 

You’ve had to make an effort to hold on to moments like this, where the shameless comes through. These sobering moments can help you when you feel the butterflies starting, a reminder of why it would never work between the two of you. He always did this, spoiled the moment. 

You’ve walked to that edge before, the boundary of your friendship. Peered into the inky blackness of the unknown below. What would meet you there if you ever garnered enough courage to leap? More times than you can count, the words would bubble up in your chest. What do you think of me, Kazu? Do you think we could ever be more than friends? I want you all to myself. All bitten back by the gripping fear of losing a dear friend, fear of getting your heart broken by the person you care about most.

He curls a hand around your waist, leaning into you. You melt into the heat seeping through his shirt. He usually gets like this, more touchy, after a breakup regardless of who dumped who. He has all of that pent up affection, that physical touch that needs an outlet. And it’s always you. Over and over again you are his rock. 

You hate that it’s like this, that he has such power over you. But that doesn’t change anything. You can’t bear the thought of him being with anyone else like this. There is an intimacy to your relationship beyond physical. One that he has never had in his love life, or so he’s told you. Your heart aches, confused. The conversations of the past whirling into a spiral of anxiety and hope.

It’s almost funny. The double standard you’ve slotted yourself into. If one of your girl friends came to you, talking about a guy situation like this, you would tell her to run for the hills with a promise to kick his ass. But you were putty in his hands. Damn it.

You’re brought back from your reverie with him jostling you, “Oi, are you even listening?” “Nah, I tuned out when you couldn’t remember her name.” He makes an indignant noise. “Why are you so hung up on her anyways?” The intrusive thought blurts out before you have time to stop it. “I don’t know, I just feel kind of gross about it…” You sit in silence together, not wanting to pry. 

“I guess I feel kinda used.” He admits with faux drama. “I’d say it’s karmic at this point, then.” You shoot back, earning you a shove. “Come on, I mean, how many girls have you hooked up with and dumped? I don’t see how this is any different.” “Those girls didn’t matter.” “Oh wow.” You say only half sarcastically. “Not like that, I mean, it was just for fun. We were on the same page… Most of the time…” You roll your eyes.

He slides down the bench, reclining, resting his head in your lap. Your fingers naturally comb through his soft, dyed hair. The longer, wispy bits tickling the skin of your thighs. He closes his eyes to the pleasant sensation of your nails on his scalp. “It was like… I guess I feel like a pawn… She was just hooking up with me to try and get Mikey’s attention.” His voice sounds distant. You hum, taking another sip of your drink, prying your eyes from his peaceful face. “Sounds very dramatic.” You offer, he laughs humorlessly. “Yeah, it’s shit.” 

It’d been a long time since you’d hung out with the guys. Work has been busy since you started as an apprentice at a tattoo studio in the city and the only reason you get to see Kazu is because the two of you live so close to each other. You wonder how the others are doing. Sounds like there's some tea brewing and you’re happy to not be involved.

“I don’t know, getting a tattoo after a messy break up, pretty cliche don’t ya think?” You tease. His eyes shoot open and he looks flustered, it’s rare that you can get a reaction out of him; a shiteating grin spreading across your face. “It’s something I’ve wanted for a long time.” He says, with an earnestness that you don’t often see from him. You lean over him in your lap, “Oh~ What’s a long time to you? Two months?” You continue teasing. “Since, like, middle school ass hat!” He says with a playful shove, your drink sloshing in your hand. 

“Ay- watch it!” You say shoving him back. “You’re gonna spill my-” He grabs your wrist that’s holding the can, you wrestle with him but he has that brutish strength, one forged over years of brawling in his younger years.  He guides your hand up with ease. “Hey, knock it off!” you say, struggling in his vice grip. He replies only with a devilish grin, opening his mouth in a seductive way, locking eyes with you. 

His head rolls back, exposing the column of his neck. He turns your wrist to waterfall the liquid in the can into his open mouth; the stream catching a small glimmer of light from a distant lamppost.

His adam's apple bobs in his throat as the can grows lighter in your hand. A bit of the drink escapes, you follow the slow drip from the corner of his mouth, down to his jaw. He closes his eyes as it slowly rolls down his neck, dripping into your lap. You feel your face heat as you take in the sight hungrily. He shakes your wrist to get the last few drops of the beverage. “Problem solved.”

“You ASS!” You sputter. He releases you with a laugh, wiping the spilled liquid with the back of his hand, before sizing you up in a predatory way. A sharp smile spreads across his face. “Sorry, do you want it back?" He sits up quickly, rearranging your positions, grabbing your face between his warm palms. 

He hovers over you on the bench acting like he’ll spit the drink back into your mouth as you fend off his attack, curling into the bench to put some space between the two of you. “Oh mY GOD SICKO LET GO OF ME!” You squeal, fighting off his grip with a laugh. 

He relents, chuckling as well. “You owe me a new one.” You say, punctuating the statement with a tinny tap on the can with your nails, the wood scraping against the back of your thighs as you scoot away from him. “Yes, yes, your wish is my command, princess.” The pet name makes your heart skip. Damn him. 

He stands from the bench, stretching his long toned arms above his head. “I didn’t mean right this second.” You pout, hiding your blush in the shadows. “So bossy.” He quips back. You wipe the spilled liquid from your leg and rub absently at a bug bite that meets the pad of your finger, the itchiness a welcome distraction. You slap at your chest as you feel the prick of a new bite. Then another on your thigh. 

“Fuck, I’m getting eaten alive out here!” You say with annoyance. It is still summer after all. He whips around, pinning you between his arms and the bench. “I’m the only bloodsucker that gets to eat you.” He says in a syrupy joking voice, bringing a nail to scratch at the rising red spot on your collar bone. “Fuck off.” You say kicking at him, he retreats with a laugh.

“Ugh, it’s so itchy now.” You whine, pressing on the warm patch of skin. You rise in a huff, walking out of the little grove. “Aww you poor thing. I can help you scratch any itch, just say the word~” He says , trotting to catch up to you. “Animal.” You spit at him, but your voice lacks venom and the smile tugging at the corner of your mouth takes any punch out of the statement. 

He skips ahead of you, blocking your path. You step to the left, he blocks. You step to the right he blocks. You stand to full height, not even reaching his chin, and cross your arms. He crouches slightly like he’s going to charge you. “God, you’re such a kid. Get out of my way.” You say in the sternest voice you can muster. 

“Password.” He says, a mischievous sparkle in his eye. “Let me through, ass wipe.” “Nope, two more tries.” “Kazutora is a drunk brat who can’t keep it in his pants.” “Wrong again, only one more chance.” “I’m seriously going to kick your-” “Wrong!”

Then he’s running at you. You break into a sprint, a playful squeal escaping your throat. “OH MY GOD YOU DICK WHAT HAPPENED TO CHIVALRY?!” You run through the grassy field next to the grove, the lush blades of grass lick the skin of your ankles with the slight moisture of dew that’s formed. The cool summer air rushing past you. The child-like thrill of being chased thundering through your veins. You hear him laughing as he sprints behind you. 

You know he’s faster than you, he’s letting you outrun him. He loves this, the chase. You duck under some branches, the playground appearing in the distance. You run towards it, sprinting up the slide with a symphony of squeaks, rubber soles on plastic. He runs after you as you jump down the back. You feel the crunch of mulch under your shoes. 

The alcohol in your system gives you a pleasant buzz on your skin. You weave between the swings, chains jingling, and make a break for the jungle gym. You make a frantic leap up the stairs, cold metal meeting the palm of your hand. Before you can get in, you feel his arm snake around your waist, prying you from the structure. A high pitched laugh escapes as he swings you around. “Gotcha!”

Your legs flail helplessly, far from the ground. “Let go of me you ass!” You laugh. “I WIN!” He howls. “It wasn’t a game, loser.” “Everything is a game.” He says breathing heavily into the back of your head.  You wriggle in his grip but it’s pointless, he’s too strong. “Put me doooooown~” You whine. “What do I win?” He says in your ear. “You win an absolute ass whooping!” “That doesn’t sound like fun.” You feel his lip pout against the shell of your ear. 

He adjusts his grip, flipping you over his shoulder easily. “Down! Put me down! Down boy!” You say slapping his back. “You’re the one going on about chivalry, I’ll take you home.” He says with faux indignation, turning on a heel.

You resign yourself and flop down to dead weight. Letting your arms swing like a corpse. They brush against the fabric of his shirt; it’s smooth and thin. With each sway you can feel the tone of his back muscles, flexed carrying your weight. You let your fingers trail more, tracing a pattern in his back.

“Don’t get me worked up, sweetheart.” He jokes, but there’s an edge to his voice. “Oh~” You hum. “Ticklish, Kazu?” You bring your fingers to his side, fluttering them lightly before digging in. He buckles under your attack with a yelp as you tickle and prod the sensitive skin of his sides. He releases you unceremoniously, you stumble to get proper footing. You spin, ready to bully him with this discovery. Before the taunt can leave your mouth your eyes lock with his. 

What looks back at you is a face you’ve never seen him make. Is that fucker blushing? “Totally unfair!” He whines, straightening and rubbing his sides. “All is fair in… War?” “That’s not the quote, dumbass.” He fires back. “C’mon.” He wraps an arm around your shoulder and guides you back to the sidewalk. “I can walk by myself, y’know.” You say under your breath. 

“It’s my chivalrous duty to protect young maidens from the scary creatures that lurk in the night. Even ones who can’t keep their hands to themselves.” “You’ve just described yourself.” “Just enjoy your scary dog privileges. You don’t know how many other fair maidens wish they were on my arm tonight. Don’t you feel special?” There it is, mood kill. You bite back a sarcastic comment. The two of you make the rest of the walk in silence, feelings swirling in your chest.

[mistergandalf]

ULTIMATE TOLKIEN BLORBO MASTERPOST

Who is THE blorbo of the Tolkien fandom here on tumblr dot com? Let's find out!

What are the criteria for voting?

What is a blorbo to you? As Aragorn would say: What does your heart tell you? Therein lies your answer. For me, it's who I'd like the whump the most. Maybe for you it's who is the most shippable. Maybe it's the one that means the most to you for what they represent. Maybe it's your poor little meow meow (looking at you, Angbang lovers). Let your feelings guide you.

Is this only supposed to be about the books, or is it based on any Tolkien-based media?

This is about blorbos. Wherever you found your blorbo, that's fine. If you want to be a book purist about it, you're valid. If you love Thorin Oakenshield simply because Richard Armitage is hot, you are also valid.

***PLEASE ALSO NOTE that my blog is a Rings of Power positive blog! If you don’t like it that’s fine, but if you post negative comments or reblogs on my posts, I will block you! I don’t want negativity in my activity feed, thank you!***

When will polls be posted?

Polls will be posted daily at 12pm EDT (GMT -4), staggered by 5-10 minutes on each poll. There will be a day between final votes as the data will be needed for the next poll!

Schedule is as follows: (Updated because I’m dumb and didn’t realize how many rounds the second chance bracket has)

4/23 - Round One 4/25 - Round Two (Primary Bracket) 4/26 - Round Two (Second Chance Bracket) 4/27 - Round Three (Primary Bracket) 4/28 - Round Three (Second Chance Bracket) 4/30 - Round Four (Second Chance Bracket) 5/2 - Round Five (Second Chance Bracket) 5/4 - Round Six (Second Chance Bracket) 5/5 - Round Four (Primary Bracket) 5/7 - Round Seven (Second Chance Bracket) 5/9 - Round Eight (Second Chance Bracket) 5/10 - Round Five (Primary Bracket) - decides the finalist 5/12 - Round Nine (Second Chance Bracket) - decides the finalist 5/14 - FINAL ROUND - THE ULTIMATE TOLKIEN BLORBO

Check the tag #ultimate tolkien blorbo to see new posts! Feel free to share your thoughts in the tag as well!

I have more questions!

Okay, click the readmore then!

Hey! Why did you pair this character with that character?

Because I spent a whole evening googling how tournament brackets work (I am not a sports person) and then I did a lot of math and sorting.

Okay, but I really want to know!

WELL first I thought: "How can I quantify and rank blorbos?" The answer: AO3. I went into the Tolkien fandom general tag and ranked the first 32 characters by the number of fanfics in which they appear.*

Then I split them by story. I roughly kept Hobbit characters with Hobbit characters, LotR with LotR, and Silmarillion with Silmarillion to keep it as fair as possible and give all corners of the fandom a chance to see their blorbo win. Some characters are in multiple sources, like Elrond or Gandalf, so I tried to keep those characters with someone who is probably just as well-known.**

Then I followed the rules the internet told me about how tournaments work. The highest-ranked character goes with the lowest-ranked character, the second-highest with the second-lowest, etc.

And that's how I did it! It was a fantastic way to waste an afternoon.

*I may have eliminated and/or played with a couple options. Some of these characters had fewer fics than the character "OC," which makes sense. I took off Erestor because literally only Glorfindel stans would choose him, and Glorfindel is on here. I also lumped together Elladan and Elrohir because if you can tell them apart, it's because they're both your blorbos. Tolkien did NOT give them distinct personalities. Also if I didn’t lump them together, I wouldn’t be able to fit Celebrimbor, and that would be a shame.

**Characters who appear in multiple stories had their rankings weighted to account for that fact. I got a C in statistics in college, though, so I frankly have no idea if the way I weighted them is correct, nor do I care, because I'm satisfied with how the rankings turned out.

I don’t like how you did this!

Okay, don’t vote then. Nobody’s making you.

FORTH EORLINGAS! Have fun voting! As Gimli would say... May the best Dwarf win! ;)

Round One [results & analysis]

Thorin vs. Bard | Bilbo vs. Dwalin | Kili vs. Gandalf | Fili vs. Thranduil | Legolas vs. Eomer | Aragorn vs. Eowyn | Elrond vs. Elladan & Elrohir | Frodo vs. Merry | Gimli vs. Pippin | Samwise vs. Boromir | Faramir vs. Galadriel | Maedhros vs. Celebrimbor | Maedhros vs. Celebrimbor (RoP free version bc some of you are whiny babies) | Maglor vs. Finrod | Glorfindel vs. Morgoth | Sauron vs. Celegorm | Fingon vs. Feanor

Round Two [results & analysis]

Thorin vs. Bilbo | Legolas vs. Thranduil | Pippin vs. Éowyn | Maglor vs. Frodo | Gandalf vs. Samwise | Elrond vs. Maedhros | Faramir vs. Glorfindel | Sauron vs. Fëanor

Round Two (Second Chance Bracket) [results & analysis]

Aragorn vs. Elladan & Elrohir | Gimli vs. Morgoth | Merry vs. Bard | Finrod vs. Celegorm | Boromir vs. Kíli | Fíli vs. Celebrimbor | Éomer vs. Galadriel | Fingon vs. Arwen

Round Three [results & analysis]

Bilbo vs. Legolas |  Éowyn vs. Frodo | Samwise vs. Elrond | Faramir vs. Fëanor

Round Three (Second Chance Bracket) [results & analysis]

Aragorn vs. Gandalf | Gimli vs. Maedhros | Merry vs. Glorfindel | Finrod vs. Sauron | Boromir vs. Thorin | Celebrimbor vs. Thranduil | Éomer vs. Pippin | Arwen vs. Maglor

Round Four (Second Chance Bracket) [results & analysis]

Aragorn vs. Gimli | Merry vs. Finrod | Boromir vs. Celebrimbor | Pippin vs. Arwen

Round Five (Second Chance Bracket) [results & analysis]

Aragorn vs. Bilbo | Éowyn vs. Merry | Boromir vs. Elrond | Pippin vs. Fëanor

Round Six (Second Chance Bracket) [results & analysis]

Aragorn vs. Éowyn | Boromir vs. Pippin

Round Four [results & analysis]

Legolas vs. Frodo | Samwise vs. Faramir

Round Seven (Second Chance Bracket) [results & analysis]

Éowyn vs. Faramir | Pippin vs. Legolas

Round Eight (Second Chance Bracket) [results & analysis]

Éowyn vs. Pippin

Round Five [results & analysis]

Frodo vs. Samwise

Round Nine (Second Chance Bracket) [results & analysis]

Éowyn vs. Frodo

FINAL ROUND

Samwise vs. Frodo

[thatdeadaquarius]

hi! quick tip: if you’re on mobile type ‘:readmore:’ then hit enter! i dunno if you’ve been told but. yeah :)

also, your recent piece on apd was incredible!! very nice to see representation!! keep up the excellent work <3 it did get me thinking though: reader with vocal stims, cementing it in the acolytes’ minds that you don’t speak the language of teyvat, and then you’re all just stuck in this loop of “oh man they don’t speak the same language of me” but they DO

if asks are closed or this is outside of your comfort zone then feel free to delete! have a lovely day <3

AHFJLAKLOSUDBABWB U FELT REPRESENTED YAY!!

A cookie for thee, and also extra for telling me how to do Expand thingy on mobile ilysm 🤲🍩🍪✨️ (pspspsps all askers,, u get cookies,,cometothedarksidepspspspspsss)

I was so worried bc it wasnt like super all the aspects of Apd issues, and it was very based on my personal experience w/ similar symptoms + other bits of ppl's experience so i was hoping it still felt somewhat recognizable for ppl w/APD!! Tysm for the feedback :D

NOTE ABOUT VOCAL STIM DEPICTED:

So i think ive experienced verbal stims, so this is a combination of others shared experiences + personal experience, and while everybody experiences things individually/their own way, please let me know if there is something obviously inaccurate/maybe even offensive.

You will definitely not make me mad or otherwise offended, I really want to hear that kind of feedback from others who vocal stim!

Thank you so much for reading! :)

___________________♡_____________________

So lets just say that ur vocal stims r pretty non-verbal or non-sensical ("her sister was a WITCH BRO-" like memes that dont make sense to them)

Or like, u have verbal stims that r actual language but they dont hang around long enough to hear it maybe ??

♤

So like, this ends up happening

Chongyun was exploring near Qingce village for supernatural stuff as usual

And U were just vibin, chillin near Qingce village livin ur best Creator god cottagecore life

And ur like planting a new seedbed, Jueyun Chilis :) (bc jfc however bad it was to collect them in game, its 10x worse in person, ur tired of running around town getting chilis, Qingce isnt exactly flat 💀)

♡

And every seed u put in the dirt ur like "boop!"

And Chongyun comes by, bc u at edge of town, and the villagers mentioned a strange new traveler settling here

He immediately feels a wave of that same feeling he used to feel when the Creator god had their eyes on him, or would assist him in battles

So poor boy almost overheats trying to climb up the hill to ur house

And is like "??...Creator??"

Then kinda stops bc ur just like-

"Boop!" "Boop!" "Boop!" ☺️ LMAO

And then u finish planting seeds, get the watering can,,

And everytime u pour it just-

... "EJACK! Come, water!"

(Ur saying it so fast too, and he's still somewhat farther away, so he cant rlly hear that well too)

...

..

And its just so incomprehensible to Chongyun he's deadass like "A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE??!"

So of course,

He waves, 👋

And ur like omg icy boy!! :D 🧊💙

But u dont say anything yet, and then he starts,, miming?? He points at u? Then like?? Points up? The sky?? Then like, mimes swinging his claymore???

(ARE U THE CREATOR??!!)

U look up, very confused 🧐

He seemes frustrated.

Then he just kinda, bows and leaves?

...

...oh no.

Do Teyvat people speak that crazy language that u saw in game?

Instead of English??

Well.

Shit.

...

.... U havent rlly talked to anyone in Qingce yet since u just got here in Teyvat like a week ago

And found this abandoned house

♧

It just gets worse 😭

Bc slowly, one by one,

Each playable character in Liyue comes to attempt to talk to you

(And since u have a farm, and they keep giving u food/goods? For some reason?? U still dont need to go into town)

☆

At one point, even Zhongli shows up

And thru complex miming and hand motions u think he means dont worry abt him? Like just go back to what u were doing?? Okay??

U guess he's just gonna chill here for now?

...

...Zhongli just kinda,, squints, and puts his hand on his chin in his classic "thinking very hard" face

So ur tending to the garden saying,

" FREDDY! You're supposed to be on lockdown!Vanessa...I'm... a Material Gworl✨️"💀

...Just, on an endless loop LMAO-

...

(Hes trying to see if he recognizes any part of ur language, poor old man 🤔🤔😭)

♤

And it just snowballs even more, and now,

None of you have even tried to say a word to each other. 🤡

(Other than ur vocal stims)

...

Keqing: "Perhaps, it's similar to Fontaine's native language?"

You, in the background: "🎵 dUdE,,, sHe'S jUsT nOt InTo YoU 🎵" (mimicking the autotune and everything)

Ganyu & Keqing: "..."

You: " 🎵 gOtTa MoVe On, mOvE oN-🎵 Hurricane Katrina?? More like Hurricane Tortilla!"

Ganyu & Keqing: "...Can't be,"

"what else do we got? Should we call Yunjin to better mime for us??"

♡

Xiao's the first one to even get close to knowing u can actually talk to each other, bc he's always checking in on u most often <3

And he only heard u bc u swore u heard a monster outside ur house one night and came out ur house with a pitchfork, very nervous,

"...Hey there demons.. it's me.. ya boy."

(And u just keep stimming that out of nervousness to make urself feel better as u check around ur house lol)

Xiao: "??? Demons???!! WAIT-"

♧

By then, it literally took like 6 months for yall to finally have a real conversation 💀💀

...

(Chongyun got so embarassed bc he was one of the first few to misunderstand he overheated rip🙏)

Im. So. Sorry. This. Is. ✨️Ass✨️

Twas the best scenario i could come up with, im telling yall, im not as funny as the ppl who send in these asks 😔

Keep in mind, I never claimed i was funny or a good writer, u cant hold it against me lol /lh

Lower ur expectations LMAO

Well i hope u got sm enjoyment outta this anon, sorry abt the quality!! :)

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[balbigalum]

Hi!! Could you write something about Aemond and reader in a modern setting? where they're both in college or something, like a reader pretty nervous that Aemond is sitting next to her or watching her idk something cute and tense please

okay let me know if you vibe with this setting (i’m not sure modern aus are my thing, the blurb is under the readmore)

aemond is still modern day royalty, more like the danish royal family rather than the british royal family (the danish have a lot more lose norms for the royal family they’re basically aristocrats unlike the british that can’t do anything tbh

still he is like 10th in the line of succession so he gets to have a life outside of the spotlight

he goes to university

probably majoring in philosophy or maybe law

he still wears his hair long and he has an eyepatch (a lot more modern and a lot less pirate-ish) 

he doesn’t have many friends outside of his siblings and nephews and tries to keep to himself

you share two classes with him and the targaryens are always a hot topic on everybody’s mouth

After a well needed vacation with your family you had returned to university, you were in your 3rd year already, following in your father’s footsteps to maybe one day take after him in the family business. Oldtown was bubbling alive with the school year starting, the streets filled with young students, some faces you knew, some others you didn’t. You had gotten yourself a small apartment on top of a flowershop some blocks away from the main building of the university, you had a spare room yet you didn’t have a roommate. You had to admit you were sort of a shy person, your mother’s anxiety had bleed onto you during your childhood and still carried some of her habits, something you were working on, you had a fair amount of friends, but you couldn’t help to feel like an outsider sometimes.

The first class was on “Ethics of Myrish Theory”, the room was almost all the way full when you came in, and there was an incessant wave of whispering and chatting coming from all angles. You wondered what was that about. Some of your classmates were keeping an eye out for the door, had something happened with the professor? You didn’t recall the name of the person that was supposed to teach the subject, maybe it was some Myrish eminence you forgot about. A small bubble of anxiety started rising from your stomach to your throat, you tried to push it down, it was the first day, it was okay to not know whatever current gossip going on. You found a spot and tried to calm yourself down, you could handle school. 

By the time the professor arrived the class had simmered down, he was getting ready to introduce himself when the doors opened one last time. You felt how the entire class turned around to look but you kept your head on the board, you personally didn’t enjoy being stared at when you arrived late, so you made a conscious effort to not look. You could swear you heard a small gasp from someone in the class, but you paid no mind to it. 

Someone started moving the chair next to you and the little bubble of anxiety you had tried so hard to keep down was making its way back again. “Excuse me.” The person mumbled while taking the seat. You understood why people had been whispering and gossiping, there was a Targaryen signed up for this class. “No problem.” You replied and he didn’t bother saying anything else, you started thinking maybe your voice wasn’t loud enough and he hadn’t even heard you in the first place. You shook your head a little, trying to keep that kind of thoughts away.

The lecture carried on as usual, you rarely sat next to people, always trying to find some empty spot you could occupy with all of your papers and books, so you couldn’t help to get a glimpse of the man next to you. His hair was long and a pearly shade of silver and he was dressed in all black. A small curiosity perked up in you about which of all of the Targaryen children was sitting next to you, if you recalled properly the family was numerous, especially after the king had remarried. You found yourself unable to list the names of all the family members, you could recite the names of the important members of the dinasty like Aegon The Conqueror or Visenya but your interest in history outweighed your interest in the current tabloids. 

You were too lost in your own mind when you noticed that he was speaking to you. "--Is that?" He was staring at you, he had asked you a question. You noticed how he wore a black patch over one of his eyes, you weren't sure where to look. The bubble was ready to burst. "Huh-" You started muttering and he cut you.

"I asked you what book is that?" He looked at the professor again. "He said we're using a short book this semester, I haven't had time to pick up the schedule and material." 

"Oh-" You replied. "Yeah, um… That's 'Cults and Tribes in R'hllor's Essos'" You picked up the book from your own bag to show it to him, but he was still looking at the professor, you awkwardly put the book on the table for him to see it. 

"Thanks," He said. "I think I have that." 

"You do?" Surprise overtook you before you could realize. "I mean… I had a really hard time finding it, my dad had to get it shipped from Essos." You lowered your voice towards the end of the sentence, you felt as if you shouldn't have spoken at all, you didn't know what it was but you always managed to make yourself feel out of place. 

"Yeah I know, I got it, tho." He commented, a small but confident smile painted his face. And as quick as it came it was gone.

You tried to keep your eyes on the professor and your notes for the rest of the class, making an effort of not paying attention to your surroundings, you wanted to enjoy your classes. Finally, the lecture came to an end and you started picking up your stuff, you could see from the corner of your eye the Targaryen Prince doing the same. 

"Here," he said, pushing the small red book in your direction. "Don't forget your book." You nodded. "See you around." He said, he didn't wait for a reply, he was gone. 

Later that week you found out his name was Aemond Tagaryen, son of King Viserys by his second wife. You had commented to a friend over coffee about your first day of school and your silver-headed classmate, with a short description she was quick to figure out you were talking about Aemond. She told you about sharing classes with Helaena Targaryen last year, and how weird people acted when they were around. Your friend made a point by rolling her eyes, she found unmature how some people would try to get the royal's attention. "It speaks poorly of their character," She said. "It's lame, leave them alone." You could agree with her, it had to be awkward to be followed around like that. 

You saw Aemond again on friday, you shared another class, this time neither of you sat close together, and for the most part you forgot he was there. Next monday he sat by your side again, and you both fell into some sort of routine. On mondays you two would sit together, most of the time in silence, you could feel some people from your class staring at you from time to time, on fridays, on the other hand he would pretend you didn't exist. 

You didn't understand why he was doing what he was doing but you tried to focus on your school work, socializing was scary enough on its own, you didn't wanna overthink every small thing you did. Anxiety had made your life hard for many years, especially during your teenhood, you had found a way to get it under control these past years.

It was one of those mondays when the professor announced the first essay to be made by the class, when he announced it had to be done in pairs your gut knotted. You heard Aemond hum.

"We could meet up at the library, what time does it work for you?" He asked, he didn't even ask if you two were partners, he simply assumed it. You nodded your head. 

"Wednesday? Around 4pm?" You asked.

"Sure." For once you paid attention to the lilac shade of his eye. 

-

The library was giant and older than any other building in Oldtown, maybe any other building in Westeros, you always found yourself admiring its structure, you could spend hours wandering around the library and you were sure you wouldn't be able to learn about every single corner and room it had. It was simply amazing. 

You were able to spot Aemond in one of the big tables, away from the main flow of the library, again he was wearing all black but you had to admit his choice of leather jacket suited him perfectly. You sat across from him and you two began working, the essay was long and tedious already on its own, the fact that you had to write it in pairs just made it more difficult. You learned he was fluent in valyrian, which came in handy with so many valyrian terms used in Myrish literature, you had your own small knowledge of the language but with so many dialects and countries you found yourself lost when it came to it. 

After some time you realized you could feel Aemond’s eye burning over you, he was staring at you, and he wasn’t making any effort in concealing it. You felt heat rise up your neck, you were trying to ignore his eye on you but now that you had noticed it you couldn’t shake the feeling away. You realized how hard you were pressing the tip of your pen against the paper, you wanted to go outside and breathe some fresh air but you felt unable to get up from your seat.

When you finally dared to meet his gaze he had a soft smirk on his lips.

“You don’t speak much, do you?” He asked you, his voice was always smooth and calculated, you envied that of him.

“I do speak… I just never know if you wanna talk.” You explained. His brows furrowed together in question.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we work together on mondays but you never even look in my direction on fridays,” You explained, again bubbles of anxiety were filling you from the inside out. “You don’t even come to say hi.” It was true, you shared smalls conversation on mondays but when friday came it was like you became invisible, you had gone over all of the possibilities, maybe he had a girlfriend that took that same class with him and he had to pretend to not know any other girl, maybe he was just an asshole using you for your notes.

“What?” He said. “You’re on ‘Western Philosophy’?” It was your time now to be confused, he was making you feel like a fool.

“Yes, I sit by the window every friday, you have walked past me many times.” He looked down and his pale complexion betrayed him by getting a light shade of pink. Was he blushing?

“Oh–” He said. “I… That’s my bad side.” He explained. “The window is on my blind-spot, I never saw you there.” 

Oh.

You wanted the earth to shatter under you and to fall into any of the seven hells, Aemond Targaryen was blind in one eye which meant he walked around campus with a blind spot, he was probably insecure about it too given how he was avoiding your eyes now… You felt stupid, you had never considered the fact. You let your face fall onto your hands. 

“I’m so sorry,” You started. “Aemond, I didn’t mean to-” 

“No, it’s okay,” He said. “I– I just can’t believe I never bothered looking around.”

“No, it’s my fault,” You interrupted him. “I should have gone over and said hi to you, I just didn’t wanna bother you… I know some people on campus try to get your and your siblings' attention…” He shook his head.

“Don’t worry about it… Let’s just leave it at that, okay?” He asked.

“Are you sure?” It was a silly mistake but you did feel bad about the whole deal, about bringing up his eye and accusing him of being rude, you felt a strong sense of guilt.

“Yes, please, don’t worry about it… At least now I know I can sit by your side on fridays.” He shrugged. “Finally I get to complain with someone about that class.” You relaxed and sat back on your chair comfortably, he shot you a toothless smile and you found yourself thinking of his lips. After a beat of silence he added.

“So… My siblings, you know my siblings?” 

“Wha– Yeah, of course.” You said, of course you did, your friend had mentioned them. She had mentioned every single one of the living members of the royal family, you were unsure of how many names she had said.

“Really? What are their names?” He asked without looking up from his paper, he was teasing you.

“Um… You know…” You made a vague motion with your hand. “Elena… and Luke?” He let out a cackle, which you didn’t know he was capable of doing, and quickly covered his mouth. “There was a Luke,” You protested. “I’m sure there was a Luke.” 

“Luke is my nephew, not my brother.” He said. You rolled your eyes. “It’s the same thing.” You said elongating the last word, he was staring at you, again, but this time you didn’t feel as anxious.

(part 2)

(I have not re-read this and I'd probably do so in the morning and hopefully catch any little mistake and that kind of stuff :p yeah whatever lol)

[nonranghaes]

heads up: depiction of anxiety attack (hyperventilating, anxiety, a loss of control/out of body feeling) + mentions of vomiting (fic primarily under readmore as a result)

from the moment you left your apartment, you knew something was wrong.

living with your own personal concoction of mental bullshit sucks. your family knows about it, your friends know a little less, and your long-term boyfriend knows... probably the most of any of those people, since you opened up to minho easier in a weird way. he texted you maybe ten minutes ago that he'd be there in thirty minutes, and you'd realized that you were out of drinks and the store was only a short walk away... so what was the harm in making a quick run?

except something just... set you off in a weird way. maybe it was a text from someone else that you decided to answer later, or it was the person walking down the street in a jacket that you felt you'd seen somewhere else, or maybe it was something about the news article you read that morning that slithered under your skin and stayed there. but the moment you stepped outside, you felt... off.

and now you're really feeling it now that you're safe at home again, already shut into your bedroom as you pace and try to swallow these feelings whole. minho will be here in a few minutes, you tell yourself: push back. you can try to smash the ugly panic rising in your chest if you just try hard enough, can't you? except it doesn't work that way. you've been able to stave off these moments of hyperventilation and sobbing until you were able to get out, but that's not how it works at home. home is out. home is safe for you to come undone, and your brain seems to refuse to let you breathe now.

a swear bubbles up and tumbles from your lips as you decide you have to ride this out. you can't fight it, and minho will be there soon, and you can't let him see you as a mess. he'll let himself in: you know he will, because he always does nowadays. he practically lives there now. and that means he'll see you and he'll worry and you can't have minho worry more than he already does.

you practically collapse onto your bed, curling in on yourself as your breathing grows more frantic, more uneven, more fucked up as everything feels like its closing in on you. you fumble for your phone, desperate to find some sort of help. a video to help you breathe. something. but your hands shake too much to type, and you abandon it, pulling a pillow into your arms to grapple with as your body fights against you.

if you could just stagger your stupid breathing, you could be better. you would be fine. but your body and your mind feel at odds with one another now. all you want is for it to be over. you sob into the pillow you're clutching, just trying to find some way of stopping yourself.

the door opens. you think minho says your name as he hurries over, asking if he can touch you now. he's seen your anxiety attacks before, he's helped you through them, and yet he still asks to be careful. to make sure that he's not overstepping. he pulls the empty trashcan from beside your desk over to the bed, and he sits, reaching for you. you shift so that your head is in his lap, still holding the pillow to your chest as he finds your hand.

"can you count with me?"

you don't think you can do anything more than sob and breathe frantically. you don't think you can do anything at all, really. your body feels like its out of your control, and it makes you nauseous. minho holds your hand securely, murmuring that he's here. he's with you.

and he begins to count, slowly.

one... you feel your stomach turn. you haven't eaten today. is that good? is that bad? he'll scold you. but you feel sick. you're going to be sick.

two... minho's watching you carefully. does he pity you? does he wish he was dating someone else? why is he with you? why doesn't he just leave? you don't want him to leave. please. don't leave.

three... what does he see in you? what does anyone see in you? lots of things, you manage to think: people like you for a reason, even if you struggle to see them.

four--

you swear loudly, lunging for the trashcan as you vomit into the bag. minho's already there with you, though, hand rubbing your back as he supports you through this. it isn't much, but your throat burns nonetheless and you wipe your mouth on your sleeve before burying your face into minho's shoulder. he slowly sets the can down, holding you as your breathing finally evens out. your eyes are still wet. minho's saying something you don't quite hear.

"did something happen?" finally pushes through your foggy mind, and you shrug. you don't know what happened, specifically. all it took was one perceived threat somewhere along the way for you to get so upset. funny thing, anxiety.

"it's okay," he says a moment later, still rubbing your back. "you can always call me if you start feeling anxious."

you know you can. you nod. "i know," you finally manage to say. just so he knows, too: you trust him, even though you hate him seeing you like this. you hate anyone seeing you like this, really.

minho presses a tiny kiss against the side of your head. "i'm going to get you some water, okay?" he waits until your draw back, and he takes your face into his hands. "okay?"

you nod. "okay. thank you, honey."

a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth: he'll only rarely admit it, but he loves when you call him things like honey. it makes him feel loved, the same way you feel when he looks at you. "we can cuddle when i come back, if you want to stay here a little longer." he tucks a strand of your hair back from your face. "i was going to ask if you wanted to go out, but..."

"maybe in a bit," you say, and you watch him get up after pressing a quick kiss to your forehead. getting out with minho feels... possible, if you take care of yourself first. the water, maybe a little snack... and cuddling with him for a bit, just to help you feel safe again. "min?"

he looks up from where he's tucking your trashcan away. "yes?"

"i love you."

he does smile this time. "i love you, too. i'll be back in a moment."

(and he is, quietly pressing a thing of plastic-wrapped crackers into your hand too. just to say how well he knows you.)

[toushindai]

Do you have any thoughts on the relationships between characters so far in Hades II? Any predictions? How would you say they compare to those of Hades 1? Btw, love your megzag fic. You were The Author I went to for them back when 1.0 just came out.

Hello anon, and thank you!! I miss megzag so much, they are my everything. I will say that no one in Hades II so far is seizing me quite the way they do, especially not ship-wise—but let’s put the rest of this under a cut.

Below the readmore is an absolute free-for-all of spoilers so please be careful!

Overall the impression I get—especially from how Mel talks to and about Aphrodite—is that Mel thinks of love as something she’ll get around to once she has a chance to sit down and study how it works, which obviously comes after her task in importance. Now this is not how matters of the heart work, which presumably is why it’s immediately obvious that she and Icarus are BIG into each other. Which is cute, undeniably. I wish them happiness. Though that’s not really quite shipping, is it.

I’m still waiting for melnem to seize me like it has everyone else; I’m not opposed, but as of yet I’m not quite seeing what they have to offer each other. They are both striving for each other, that’s something; I just don’t yet see how that pulls them into bed with each other. It seems like the last thing on either of their minds. Except they do keep talking about taking each other’s clothes off. Are they flirting? They may be. At the very least I think SGG is sending deliberate “don’t worry, we ARE going there” signs. So far I am not drawn in by Mel/Moros as a ship, either. I’d much rather that shit-stirring suggestion of Eris’s (that the Fates are trying to set him up) be something that he finds kind of perturbing, that his sisters would try to set him up with someone just because she’s been nice to him. I would ship Moros/Dora. I think that would be cute and funny.

No despite all odds what I am 4k words into so far is some meleris. Well. I mean, that’s what the file name is called, and there’s some making out involved, but I don’t know if this is going to become a romantic or even physical relationship by the time I get wherever I’m going with it. Listen… I just love Eris. This horrible little gremlin whose ideals absolutely no one around her respects, so in response she doubles down on her gremlinhood. She’s at odds with Mel by their very natures and yet Mel keeps coming over to her little corner to give her the same gift over and over. I think they find each other frustrating but in the way a pet finds a puzzle treat toy frustrating, and I don’t think they know what kind of relationship they’re building with each other, but certainly one is building. I don’t think Eris really knows what a friend feels like and I don’t think she knows how to behave to keep a friend. I don’t think Mel knows why she is extending kindness to Gal Who Keeps Shooting Her And Littering. I, the player, am absolutely approaching this from the perspective of “someone in Eris’s entire life needs to be stubbornly kind to her as opposed to every authority figure in her life treating her like a problem child” but I don’t know if Mel feels the same way, consciously or un-.

Eris is just all around a deeply interesting presence in the game—the Unseen seem to me to be a cult (neutral use of the word) to Nyx and Eris is absolutely a dissenting voice against that. And everything else. The game has done the opposite of selling me on either “Chronos should rule” OR “the Olympians should continue unopposed” so I think we should hear Eris out. Did you know that “strife” and “strive” come from the same root. Something something the importance of dissent. Let her cook. Explosives. And drink bath water I guess.

Other things of interest.

The “your family may be vain idiots you hate being around but it’s still an inherent good to interact with them” tone of the epilogue of Hades I never pleased me greatly; so far, Hades II seems to be going “got it, just because someone is related to you by blood doesn’t mean you inherently have to feel anything for them” which I—I—I agree with that. Fundamentally. BUT THAT’S MY FAMILYYYY AND I LOVE THEMMMM TToTT… Supergiant is doing a fascinating thing where the majority of their players know Mel’s family better than she does, where Mel questions how strongly she even wants revenge for the family she’s never known while we, clutching our keyboards or controllers, are snarling Let Me At Him Let Me At Him I Love Those People. The “what do I care? I don’t even know them” is so deeply upsetting and I think that once there is an actual endgame that will get addressed but I a little bit wish we had not been given that line until we were ready to deal with it because it currently gives me an emotion.

Hecate is so interesting as a contrast to Hades—in some ways she is encouraging Mel towards much better emotional health but also. but also. Putting tremendous pressure on her, and telling her she must not think of Hecate as her mother or the Crossroads as her home. Asking Mel to leave these gaping holes in her heart so that her blood family and original home can fill them someday. I have to wonder if there’s a part of Melinoë that feels like Hecate is withholding these things because Mel isn’t good enough yet, and—deeper still—a part of her that fears that if she cannot become good enough, she will be subject to the same impatient disdain that Hecate aims at Nemesis and Eris. I don’t think Hecate is evil but I think she maybe doesn’t see the effect her single-mindedness might have.

And lastly, Chaos. Chaos!! Last night Chaos asked me, “Do you tolerate my gates stabbing you and my mark making your life difficult just because you want to look at me” and you know what. Yeah. Their new design is everything in this whole world to me. Chaos I am going to change how I dye my undercut to be more like you. But also I absolutely love what they’re going through emotionally in this game. Listen, if they had turned the Fates over to Chronos just because they like thwarting the Fates, I would have winced but forgiven them. This is a known! I don’t require them to operate under human morality! But the fact that they feel they were deceived and the indications that this troubles them, that they are not USED to feeling troubled, that they look at the way things are currently and say I would like things to be different actually, that they ask Mel for a response when they confess their part in the current goings-on (despite there not really being a question there IIRC!) but wait until so deep into the game to do so—Chaos I Love You. Would You Like A Hug. We stan an alexithymic primordial originator. Also “perhaps he shall release them if you use sufficient violence” is the funniest sentence in the world and I will continue to do my best 🫡

[portsandstars]

I recently got an ask about how I made my Vere cosplay, so I thought I'd write an (overly descriptive) explanation about what I did! Note that I have very minimal sewing and cosplay experience, so it's quite possible that there are many better ways to achieve the same look.

If you're interested in recieving the pattern that I used, please DM me, and I'll send you the files. Note that the pattern is only made to my measurements(I am very tall and small chested) and I have also altered the pattern after working with it some, though not altered the PDF.

Some of my explanations won't be the most clear, I'm happy to explain more in the comments or dms- I'm just limited on the number of pictures:)

Below the readmore because u guys this is going to be a bit exhaustively long :>

The pattern pieces for the top

I got a pattern after commissioning someone on Fiverr for about $60 dollars (let me know if you want their contact info). They were not very interested in reference photos and instead wanted me to sketch the garment I needed. I made a mock-up in a day after receiving the pattern files (took me about 8-10 hours lol). I requested a few edits from the pattern maker and recieved a second pattern. From there, I made multiple mockups and edited the PDF pattern to:

- shorten the smallest sleeve

- increase the curve of the front shirt edge

- add an unofficial collar band to increase collar height

- change the angle of the piping seam to enter the armhole at much more of a slanted angle

- increase the height and shape of the side waist openings (they are still lower than is accurate).

- add a sleeve gusset bc I couldn't move my arms (the sleeves are still tough, I'd recommend altering the dark purple sleeves if you make this)

- making the floatly sleeves way more voluminous.

Here are some photos of the top. I bought a crotch snap bodysuit premade and cut it after someone helped me pin the top to it. This is to help keep the top "tucked in" to the belt without bunching, while still allowing you to go to the bathroom. There need to be snaps because I taped the top to my skin, so you don't want to pull the top off your shoulders as you would a romper.

Ok, now let's see where the pattern pieces go to the shirt:

Fabric

I used a satin fabric for this top. I chose this primarily because it looked the closest to the right color that I could find (rather than being interested in the sheen). I'd say that it kinda sucked to work with because it frays exceptionally easily, though it does look pretty. The lilac fabric is a cotton fabric that I used throughout this project to add weight and stability - the color doesn't matter. I also used a medium weight black fabric (?), Silver pleather, and lightweight interfacing.

- back of the garment was purple satin underlined with lilac cotton

- front (orange) piece was purple satin with lightweight iron on interfacing

- collar (blue) was purple satin with the lightweight interfacing not in the seam allowances.

- front (red) piece was purple satin, iron on interfacing, and underlined lilac cotton.

- black boarder on the front (green) was a thick black fabric that was in a discount bin. Highly recommend you use a thin black cotton because the thickness of this fabric gave me a lot of trouble. Interfaced the center of these pieces.

- facings for the side opening (front and back of garment) were made from the lilac fabric and interfaced with lightweight interfacing EXCEPT for the seam allowance.

- tiny sleeve (yellow) was interfaced to give it structure, but not in the seam allowances

- I really struggled with the tension on my machine so I never sewed the satin alone. On the long, dark purple sleeves I added iron on interfacing ONLY to the seam allowance to give the seam stability so I could sew it.

- the silver piping around the collar and glued onto the front is made from a silver pleather. On one hand, this sucked to work with because my strategy involves sewing through ~10 layers of it at least, which is very hard(thimble needed). BUT, If you don't use silver pleather, I'd say your silver fabric MUST NOT FRAY for you to use the techniques I used.

STEPS TO CONSTRUCT (~30-40 hours).

You definitely need to make a mock-up unless you are very experienced. I made about 4-6 (would alter one sleeve but not bother changing the other, etc).

1. Cut all pieces except for facings, black boarder, and floaty sleeves out of purple satin.

2. Cut cotton support fabric for the following pieces - back, red, gussets, side facings (4 total)

4. Cut black boarder/facing (4 total).

3. Cut and iron on interfacing - center of collar, red (not seam allowance), orange (not seam allowance), tiny sleeve (not seam alloance), black boarder/facing- only needed on the outside ones(not seam allowance). Interfacing for the side facings. If you have issues with sewing the satin, also iron on interfacing on the seam allowances, and add it to purple satin that is alone (the long sleeves).

4. Baste all underlining fabric to the purple satin by hand (back, sleeve gusset, red).

5. Stay stitch in the seam allowance all pieces

6. Zigzag stitch all pieces.

7. Lay the lilac side facing on top of the right side of front orange piece, interfacing of the facing touching the right side of the fabric. Sew together along the inner curve. Notch the seam allowance here so it can bend easier. Flip facing to the wrong side of the garment. Iron flat. Pull the notches to the facing side and understitch. Iron again. Sew the top and bottom of the facing edges into the seam allowance of the side seam of the garment and the hem of the garment so they don't flop as much. Do the same thing on the the second orange piece (mirrored). Then do this twice, once for each side curve on the back piece.

8. Yayyy now it's time to attach the black edge. Choose your prettiest of the two of each mirrored piece to be the outside ones. Hem the longer edge of all 4 black facing pieces. Lay the facing, right side facing up, on top of the right side of the orange piece along the front hem. Sew directly on top of your hemming stitches so it is attached about an inch in. Try to not go out of the hem stitches at all. Then, lay a second facing on TOP of the facing u just sewed, wrong side facing up. Sew along the edge through all three layers. Notch this seam. Flip the top facing to the inside of the garment and iron flat. Understitch the inside facing. Iron again. Sew along the black facings inside the seam allowance of the top edge of the orange piece. Below are my notes to myself about this if they would help you LMFAO.

9. U can hem the orange piece now if you want to, I chose to not bc there is sooo much more stuff to do!!

10. Hand baste the red piece to your completed/with facings orange piece along the bottom edge of the red piece/top of orange. You're gonna have to rip this out later but you need to add the collar and measure the length of the piping that will go here and it needs to be attached to do this.

11. attach the back of the top at the shoulder seam. you can also pin or baste the side seams now under the arm hole but note that the size will be really different here with the sleeve gores later added. this turns it into a vest yayy its taking shape

12. iron all the seams u got going on

13. Hem the interior edge of the red pieces so that the collar can attach over it. Use a basting stitch bc you're going to have to undo part of this later 🙃

13. make the collar. tbh I'd recommend watching a tutorial for this, it is pretty similar to any men's dress shirt, especially a mandarin collar. sew the collar along the neckline of the garment.

14. Measure from the side seam under the arm, along the hem of red all along the back collar, to the other side seam under the other arm to see how long your piping needs to be. You can make it a bit longer than it needs to be. i chose to use piping because I couldn't find a silver cord that resembled this detail going around the collar of his shirt, and this seemed like the best solution. It would be far easier to use a silver cord if you can find it tho :). If you found cord that you liked, you could simply sew red to orange directly.

15. make the piping! This whole part is the worst part of the whole garment. You should have a thimble and strong handsewing needles. And probably pliers to pull the needle through. I cut long strips 4 of the silver pleather and bought 2 mm wide nylon cord. I then folded the strip around the cord and handsewed really close to the cord with white thread. You could machiene sew this but personally I found that it wasn't "tight" enough to the cord for me. Two of the piping strips you should cut most of the seam allowance off, the other two should be a normal amount of seam allowance on the piping.

16. Line up your 4 piping strips into a stack and measure across them to determine their width. You next want to create the ILLUSION of more piping. The way I did this was I took a wider strip of silver, the width of the 4 piping strips + one hypothetical extra piping on the top and one on the bottom and cut a strip this wide + lots of extra seam allowance that was about the length of the shirt collar. Then, I hemmed it deeply, so my hem stitches would be close to the center of the strip. There's NO cord in this piece. Then, I hand sewed this flat piece to the collar of the shirt.

17. Next, I bent my piping strips in half and marked the center points on each with a pin. I took one with long seam allowance and laid it flat so the seam allowance lay facing right, and then laid the other piping with seam allowance overlapping the previous piping facing left. Then the piping with very small seam allowance goes on top of this. Diagram crossection below, with the circles representing the cord of the piping, and = representing the orientation of the seam allowance.

O O

O=====

======O

In this way, the piping can be sewn into a continuous strip that is sturdy, without the seam allowance showing. I handsewed the piping pieces together, working from the center, for about 5 inches of length, snaking sideways through the cording of the piping with white thread so it's joined into one continuous strip. Then, I began to handsew this piping to the collar on top of the silver flat fake piping that u already sewed there. Make sure the center of the piping goes to the center of the collar. From there, you alternate handsewing the piping to itself into one continuous strip, and then handsewing it to the collar.

18. As you work, you're going to have to sew it along the edge of the red piece once you're done with the collar. You can initially sew it to the hem that you established before on the red piece. However, when the red piece meets the orange piece (at the black fabric) you need to undo the hem of the red piece there and cut a slit in the fabric (visible below). This is because the hem of the red piece now needs to hang down and attach to the orange piece, so you need the material. Your piping here will go between the red and orange pieces. You also need to cut your basting stitches here so u can sew it for real. You should gradually and evenly spaced - end each line of piping along the top of the orange, so that by the time you're at the armhole, only one piping line is remaining. I chose the bottom silver line on the collar to be my longest piping strip, as this matches (more) of the reference photos). Rather than sew through all 12- 14 layers (...) I found it easier to do a stairstep method. I sewed my first piping strip to the red, then I sewed my second piping to the first piping(but NOT to the red), my third piping to the second, my fourth to the third, and my orange piece to the fourth. Throw in some stitches that bridge more layers as a failsafe and be diligent here bc the structure of the garment depends on it lol.

19. Fantastic ! U made it through the hardest part! Hem the long purple sleeves. Gather the top of the floaty sleeves. Sew the inner seams of the floaty sleeves. Sew the inner seams of the 2 long sleeves together. Leave the length of the V of the gusset unsewed at the top of the sleeve seam. Hem the edge of your tiny sleeves (yellow).

Now you need to attach the sleeves. I sewedthe gauze to half the gusset by hand first. Next I handsewed the gusset to both the long sleeve and the floaty sleeves, leaving the other V half of it unattached to later put into the side seam under the arm. Next I pinned all three sleeves into the armhole of the top. Tbh ... The size of the armhole seemed wrong so I needed to pleat the top of the of the long sleeve to make it fit (😐). Then I handsewed all three sleeves on each side into the arm hole, and then sewed the gusset into the side of the garment, and then finished the side of the top's seam (where the side facings meet) by hand too. I think it'd be possible to do this by machiene but with all the layers, gathering, and difficult corners from the gusset, it was way easier to handsew it imo. Now do the other sleeve wow so fun

20. Get a silver ribbon /string and handsew the sleeve decorations in place. I've found that piercing the silver cord tends to make it get ugly and split so instead I sewed the ends down and then went around the cord like belt with belt loops. Leave a tiny amount of give here so it doesn't strangle ur arm. Try and make the other sleeve the same lol.

21. Cut EVA foam (very thin mm foam) into LONG strip for the vertical silver detailing. Handsew the Eva foam to your top where the silver detailing is. Honestly I might wait to do this until your belt is done bc the position of the bottom half of these lines depends on where your belt sits. But, the purpose of the Eva foam is that it provides a solid base for your silver fabric to glue to that will bend with the garment well and the glue won't stiffen or distort your fabric. Afterwards you'll glue it to the foam with contact cement or fabric glue (needs to be able to flex).

22. Personally I sewed snaps that connect to the chest harness on the inner black boarder because 1) this allows a bit of the weight of the harness to be taken off of your neck/collar, and 2) allows your top to be held closer to your body (lower chance of flashing people). Make sure to only sew them to the interior black facing, not showing to the other side. I also sewed tacking stiches through the interior facing (hidden in the hem stitching) to hold the interior black facing down. My harness was waistband elastic, stabilized with cotton so it's not stretchy, with velcro attaching to itself through the ring. So each side of the harness at the ring is velcro folded back onto itself after being looked through the ring.

23. I also sewed the snap crotch thing to it. You need to wear the top and the body suit and have someone pin the top so that it's pulled somewhat taut by the bodysuit. The small section between the left and right side of the top (by the bellybutton) of the waistband of the bodysuit I stabilized with cotton again because you don't want that part getting stretched out and widening over time. If you're someone who maybe doesn't have boobs or doesn't care about flashing people, you could just sew it to some shorts. The idea here is to keep it held down AND be able to use the bathroom later WITHOUT pulling all ur fashion tape off in the stall and then reapplying it each time.

Look here for the part two (belt/skirt explanation).

[ramjam]

i just know you're cooking up something crazy with the jericho stuff

maybe i will talk about it. i just haven't been too in-depth about my theories because being potentially catastrophically incorrect about this would be SOOOOO embarrassing LOL but i'll put my foot in the ring here. i wanted to wait until i caught up with the new episodes to see how the anime adapted the scenes but i'm bored, so.

the idea that's been floating in my brain almost since those chapters dropped is that she's under some kind of mind-manipulation. we do know arthur has that capability, he's been using it to control the people he makes work for him.

since the main villain is literally "chaos", choosing to use her as a tool in such a traumatic and destructive way like this would just make a lot of sense. and could serve a lot of purposes for arthur. theory is a bit long so it's going under the readmore.

i'm currently under the belief that he warped her mind this way for one (or all) of these possible reasons.

to generally just cause chaos. it's implied that jericho and lancelot were investigating the chaos knights and this would be an insane way to get back at her/mess with her life for it.

to push lancelot away from guinevere. he may be aware that lancelot and guinevere's fates are connected to each other. he wants guinevere for her power, he can't let an opposing force connect with her.

arthur may believe that fighting this lancelot guy is crucial to his own destiny and goals in some way? so he did something to cause him to hate him. he acts quite smug about this when they first meet officially. it seems like he's asking a question he knows the answer to. more-or-less indirectly saying, "yeah. i did something to piss you off."

arthur didn't know that lancelot was one of the four knights, but he recognized his name and had a strong reaction to it. he's also seen his face before, but didn't connect that significant name to this boy. maybe it's because jericho's future vision of lancelot is explicitly really, really feminine (interesting choice, nakaba...) he looks nothing like lancelot, basically.

you could say he's just aware of him because of jericho, but this response comes across like the name has importance to him, and not just simply him recognizing lancelot as jericho's former student. hearing "lancelot" nearly stopped arthur in his tracks. this is before arthur officially abducted guinevere, too.

i'm under the belief that arthur was clued into the fact that guinevere has been searching for lancelot-- she's been doing this for years, investigating at random trying to find him by her own words. if arthur has been tailing her, there's no doubt that he'd have heard lancelot's name come up.

okay please stick with me i have to do a brief analysis on her introduction with guila in order to elaborate on my point here.

something else that i believe supports this is the fact that during guila and jericho's introduction together in the sequel, guila's mini-arc with gowther was brought up for the first time since chapter 168 of the original manga. ie: when she was brainwashed to love gowther for his own selfish experiments/motivations.

throughout the series, guila and jericho tend to parallel each other a lot. even when they're separated, their arcs often coincided. in the end of the original manga, it concluded with their epilogue being "together." their introductory scene in the sequel put heavy focus on the fact that they parallel each other. the way they couldn't land any hits on each other because they know each other's bodies and movements so well.

despite jericho being full villain mode, she still didn't want to hurt guila. there was a softness here. she refused to harm her unless guila did first, she gave her many chances to leave so it didn't have to come to that. jericho is lancelot's teacher, older sister, and supposedly in love with him. but her introduction is all about her fated connections with guila and the care she has for her, even when she has to face her as an enemy.

if jericho's relationship with lancelot was truly meant to be genuine, i feel like nakaba would've introduced jericho in the sequel by fighting lancelot instead, and not guila. but he doesn't. we have this multi-chapter fight with heavy emphasis on her relationship to guila and the way they always find each other again after falling apart.

two sisters-in-arms, fire and ice, forever linked together. her fight with guila is actually a direct callback to her introduction with fighting ban in the prison, too. which is um... an interesting comparison to make, all context considered.

the title of this chapter refers to the sudden reveal that guila managed to master some kind of body horror ability with the latent demon power she has in her. but in my opinion, it refers to both of them. so how has jericho "transformed" in such a way that can be directly compared to guila's shape-shifting?

and despite the significance behind the plot-twist with jericho and lancelot, the databook that released doesn't reflect this at all. jericho's main quote here is when she's speaking to guila. the japanese text is the line she's saying in the panel i'm adding alongside it. the line nakaba chose to represent 4kota-jericho is her telling guila that she'll be forced to kill her if guila isn't backing down. nothing to do with lancelot at all.

(guila's quote on her databook page is when she tells jericho that she has a duty to uphold as a holy knight, so she can't back down. they're directly speaking to each other. just to further emphasize this.)

meanwhile, the panel about loving lancelot is a tiny blurb. not even her personality description mentions it. it's just kind of a side detail. ultimately, she's still being centered around her dynamic with guila, like she always has been. i think this detail is fascinating and important.

anyways, jericho also had a really sudden shift in personality the moment lancelot entered the scene and touched her, like it triggered something. i'm really curious to see how the anime handled her voice-work at this moment.

circling back to the gowther situation being randomly brought up. the fact that jericho was being more like her old self (although a bit villainous, like her arc one personality) with guila and then having a sudden personality change when lancelot engages with her, reminds me a lot of this.

(edit: i'm dying, i forgot the punchline of this scene was that jericho became disturbed since she knows guila has no men in her life besides her little brother and couldn't think of anyone she'd be referring to. more emphasis on how jericho is very much not for predatory behavior.)

in the original series, jericho's presence seemed to have temporarily disrupted gowther's brainwashing, only for guila to suddenly have this insane shift in demeanor the moment gowther appeared again and she was forced to question her memories. this is also the first time the audience is clued into the fact something is deeply wrong here. it's so similar that it's difficult to ignore.

this panel in particular when guila first brings up lancelot reminds me of guila's reaction when jericho questioned her about how she managed to survive unscathed. like their true memories were getting mixed up after suddenly having to question reality.

kudos to my friend ren for this next observation: guila and jericho have also strongly paralleled hendrickson and dreyfus respectively as early as the original manga. guila suddenly having demon powers is a reminder of that. if you recall, an aspect of hendrickson and dreyfus' dynamic is the fact dreyfus ended up being a corrupted figure in power because he was having his mind tampered with in an extremely similar way.

so not only is jericho's current situation possibly reflecting what happened to guila before, it may also be further connected to dreyfus.

in regards to what i mean by the "shift" in personality: before lancelot directly makes contact with her, she's still in her smug-battle state.

the chapter where this reveal drops is called "a burning, freezing heart" which still draws more connection to her dynamic with guila than lancelot. the title is very much a reminder of their relationship-- especially after that huge focus in the battle where jericho froze guila's fire-- and not really necessarily about lancelot at all.

despite lancelot showing up-- this boy she supposedly loves-- her focus here is on guila more than anything else initially. her dialogue here in japanese is less "no hard feelings [from me]" and more her asking guila, "please don't hate me for this." but once he engages with her to save guila's life... something shifts.

there's even this notable focus on her gasping at the contact. all attention on her delicate relationship with her friend and partner shatters in an instant.

nakaba also visualizes this by having lancelot touch where the brand arthur left on her body is. and now all of a sudden, her demeanor became wildly different. it feels unnatural.

especially with the entirety of jericho's character in mind. she's exceptionally good with kids, acts as an older sister to both zeal and lancelot. one of the films also dedicates a scene to how good she is with children, when she's on patrol with guila and they encounter some kids playing in the street. she's an honorable knight with a strong moral code.

the two-parter movies also back this idea up, in my opinion. they take place about a year before the sequel manga begins. jericho is still watching over lancelot from a distance and behaving like her usual self.

nakaba could've used this point in the movie to set-up the whole "secret admirer weirdo" thing, but instead it's just her being the cool level-headed sisterly master that she was to him. sometime between then and now, she was taken in by arthur as a chaos knight and began to act a lot differently.

the one-shot has a moment that i feel serves as a red-herring for this plot point. out of context, you'd think it supports the idea that her words to lancelot are 100% legit and serious. in-context, it's not inherently weird and even elaine says so herself after the fact. she's literally just doting on him. lancelot only initially interpreted it as weird because he was just told the same thing by someone who had ill-intent with him. i think this scene exists to create doubt.

not to mention the fact that if jericho had been harboring these feelings for the three years they were spirited away, lancelot would know. he's a fairy, he can read hearts. he does it a lot, almost constantly using it so he's clued into everything around him. lancelot was doing it in that scene i just posted, too. he would've known. but he had no reason to suspect this was supposedly happening.

because it... probably wasn't! this is likely a new development manufactured by arthur for some villainous motivation, to create tragedy and conflict. this is not jericho's first run-in with being dragged into a cult and manipulated to behave in ways that go against her moral codes. she's a professional at this point.

the reason jericho up and left lancelot (if the version she tells turns out to be a fabrication) remains a mystery. i think it's possible it had something to do with his well-being. especially if she was looking into arthur, and we know arthur was aware this mysterious lancelot guy is a detriment to his goals with guinevere. i think it's possible she also could've made a deal of some kind but things got out of hand and she became a pawn, kind of like what happened to her in the first series.

if i'm wrong i'm going to be so embarrassed that i jump into traffic.