#but im not super super satisfied with an early part

[22degreehalo]

Me: Ahhhh, I love slow burny type romances so much, where you can just Feel every tiny little incremental bit of growth in their relationship from strangers to closer than anyone...!

Also me, trying to write the earlier stages: okay so this is when they become desperately attracted to each other, right

[pebblewsa]

My AU !!!

so !! this is the first part of many >_>

i have refs for 2 characters so far !! (theyre kind of a work in progress and some details may change in the future jhdsjhsd)

so ! first off !! donnie boy !!

in this AU, somewhat early during the apocalypse the power their base was using started dwindling super quickly considering nobody was prepared for the onslaught of the kraang, so they searched for other power sources.

turns out, kinda hard to find viable power in the apocalypse, especially since at this point the little colony that the turtles were apart of were too scared to go out and scrounge for leftover batteries, or even spare parts for their generator. donnie did what he could, of course, but even his genius is hindered by time and lack of resources. so !! said genius discovered he can replicate the generator power needed with his ninpo, with him as the sole conduit.

this, of course, takes all the energy he has to keep going, and for a while he goes at like. very high amounts of power to keep everything going, barely taking breaks. him being a conduit running electricity through himself for a long time has its. uh. side effects.

anyway !! the other i have rn is leo !! (im still not completely satisfied with his design ngl-- i might change it later :3)

i might add scars to him later if i can come up with reasons/ways he got em yknow but uh. yeh, i wanted to add some things to his mission design but i also really liked the one he had in the movie? gave the boy some elbow pads lmao

i imagine he lost his swords in the chaos of the kraang arrival but i also like to think after a while he finds at least one of em or somethin. i also like to think he eventually loses an arm but its such a recent development that hes still not used to the prosthesis and prefers to go without it. (also hes kinda a dumdum and donnie wasnt able to teach him how to use/repair it hehe)

but ye !! designs are still in their early stages and theres lots of stuff i havent mentioned here cus the au itself is still a massive work in progress but im excited for it !

next post containing this au is gonna be the other half of the turtle team !! (and maybe the caseys + april if im up for it but yknow xP)

[lune-de-miel-au-paradis]

Who you belong to

Summary: You plan a date night with Wolffe going to a concert for a band you both love. You decided to have some fun and choose a sexy, tempting outfit for your Commander. Turns out the lead singer had his eyes on you and Wolffe needs to remind you who you belong to.

Pairing: Commander Wolffe x f!reader

Warnings: NSFW,18+ (minors pls don't read), biker!Wolffe, sorta possessive Wolffe, jealousy, fingering, kinda public sex, grinding, language, growling, biting, kinda dom!Wolffe, blowjob, Wolffe being Wolffe, soft Wolffe, feelings, mention of a real life band and band member, a few easter eggs as characters, mention of readers looks, a bit long  (I hope I haven't left out anything.)

A/N: This is a gift for my lovely dear also super talented writer (check out her fics!)  friend Gabi! 💖@cloneloverrrrr

I know you love Wolffe and this band so this is especially for you to enjoy! I wrote this in vacay so pls forgive me if I mistyped something. Also this is my first fics post for a very long time so pls be kind. And this is my first ever smuty, spicy fics so Im super excited but also anxious about it. I really hope you'll like it. (I like criticism, but only if you guys are kind and not rude.) And forgive me if something is not correct with the grammar because english is not my first language. There is gonna be a part 2. (smutty!) coming in this week. 

Moodboard made by me in Canva and pictures from Pinterest.

Pls enjoy! 

Satisfied, you looked at yourself in front of the three-part standing mirror. Today promised to be a particularly good day. You finished your job early, so you had time for a pleasant bubble bath and some pampering rituals, which only boosted your confidence even more. Somehow your feminine energies were at a high level today. Several of your customers asked what serum you use, telling you that your skin is almost glowing, and even your hair is shining brighter. Maybe it's the position of the stars, maybe it's the full moon, or even more so, the fact that you happen to be on a date with the hottest Commander of the GAR, Wolffe. Your Wolffe.

Hound introduced you to each other when little tooka kittens moved into the air vent of Fox's office. You were the only applicant who was willing to take in the black and orange colored kittens. Fox and Wolffe were having a few words over a cup of caf when you and Hound arrived at the office. As soon as Wolffe saw you, he knew it was over for him. He fell into you hard, deep and inexorably. He immediately introduced himself, and although you were a bit surprised at first by the approach of the grumpy intimidating clone, you noticed over a little time, the softening of his dark and serious gaze as he looked at you with his silver and whiskey colored eyes. 

You were the only woman who found a crack in his hard, cold armor and moved straight into his heart.

It's been half a year already that you are officially a couple. As far as the strict rules allow. (You had Master Plo's blessing, and that was all that mattered to you. Rules are meant to be broken, anyway.) 

Wolffe has to go on another mission tomorrow, but tonight is all yours. So you certainly had some great plans.

A couple of scented candles in your apartment that made the air smell of pumpkin and cinnamon in honor of the coming autumn. Several outfits have been prepared for your black gothic styled bed and on the soft velvety blankets. The black kitten was sleeping curled up on the cushion of your reading chair. While you swept the orange one off the bed yourself. The little mischievous one really wanted to play with the shoulder strap of the small bag you chose to go with one of the dresses.

Your nails matched your lipstick, which was exactly the same dark rich burgundy as the spicy sweet wine you were sipping while getting ready, and it matched the  love bite marks that Wolffe gave you on your last evenings together. Little gifts, or you can say reminders of who you belong to, and how much he craves you. You loved them, even though they started to fade away a little.

"So it's a good excuse to get some more" you thought cheekily. 

You looked at the outfits, you weren't sure which one to wear, but you were sure of two things you definitely gonna wear. Your new long black vinyl jacket with matching boots and your new black lacy underwear set . The make-up was done, your hair smelled of your favorite shampoo and fell softly in raven black locks on your back, you had already put on your underwear and boots, both of which were surprisingly comfortable. You also talked to two girlfriends on comm.

All three of you lived far from each other, in different rims but you still made time for a little chat several times a week.

You met on a platform where several blogs ran stuff about clones (how little rights they have, how can their situation be helped, what is like dating in such straight circumstances.) and you've been good friends ever since.

One of them used their connections and gifted you two tickets to the concert of your favorite band. You and Wolffe were both fans of Bad Omens, so you couldn't wait for tonight to start. You just asked their advice on what to wear.

"Whatever you choose, knowing the Commander, you won’t be wearing it for long." teased one of them. 

Starting with this, an idea occurred to you!

Risky and bold, but it can turn out well...

You knew that Wolffe would arrive soon, so you said goodbye to your girlfriends and sipped the remaining wine from your glass, making up your mind confidently. You threw your clothes on the floor and only put on your coat. It was perfect: the size, the material, plus it covered enough to not get into an awkward position, as it was long enough. You sprayed a little perfume on yourself, which made you know that Wolffe would only go crazy for you. 

Wolffe had a bike, but not just any speeder bike. It was a big, solid, black, shiny, sport bike. He worked hard for it and put aside all the credit so it could be his. It was his treasure that was guarded with fear until he got to know you. After all, you took the first place in his heart. Anyhow he took great care of her and often maintained her, giving her the name Selene, which is basically the moon goddess in mythology. Until he knew you, she was the only one he cared about, and yes, he even howled sometimes when he drove with her on the capital roads.

He stored it in the small garage belonging to your apartment, which you allowed him to do and for which he showed his gratitude so many times in the form of kisses.

Right now, leaning on the motorcycle, you watch as the person of your desires and love approaches you.

Instead of his usual GAR gear, he wore black pants, boots, and a leather jacket. Smelling like a divine god, woody musk mixed with leather, amber and a hint of bergamot. An elixir that made you crave him more and more every time. 

"Hey handsome. Care for a ride?" you teased him. 

"With a woman like you? Always mesh'la. I will even go to hell with you, it will be heaven for me as long as you are mine and I can kiss you on those lush lips of yours."

You shuddered when you saw his eyes darken, and his seductive tone only made you more aroused. You loved everything about his voice, its depth, the accent, the way he whispered those sinfully sexy words into your ear every night when you were together in his own language.

He wrapped his two strong arms around your waist and kissed you passionately. You haven't seen him in a week, so the kiss quickly turned into tongue and teeth kinda kiss. With this kind of kiss, the world ceases to exist, it's just you and the butterflies in your stomach are about to burst out of excitement and there is only him. His honey-like taste in your tongue, his scent in the air your lungs breathe in, his grip in your body that makes you crazy and his love for you that makes you so utterly obsessed with him. 

You just stayed like that for a while, not paying attention to the outside world, lovingly kissing freely like young lovers. When you separated, both of you were gasping for air and your foreheads touched.

"Miss me that much Commander?" you asked

“So. Very. Kriffing. Much.” 

After every word, he planted a kiss on your lips, emphasizing his truth.

You both put on your helmets and biker gloves headed towards one of the downtown nightclubs on the lower level.

Wolffe drove fast, took the corners confidently, but with certainty. You loved riding a motorcycle with him, the excitement, the feeling of freedom, the fact that your body was almost completely smoothed over his. Wolffe promised that he would teach you to ride a motorcycle after the war, but you knew that together with him you liked riding much more. On the way, the pack members appeared on both sides, Sinker and Comet saluted and waved, and Boost boosted past you at full speed balancing on a rear wheel, all of them howling. You laughed as Wolffe shifted into higher gear more enthusiastically. You thanked the Maker for the hair foam that, when you apply it to your hair and drive at such a high speed, the air creates wonderful tangle-free volume in your hair.

With the tickets, they let you in out of line and you were already inside. Smoke machines and flashing red lights made the concert halls vibe. Upbeat music played that became one with your heartbeat. You chase out several acquaintances in the crowd, to whom you waved enthusiastically. You saw members of the Corrie guard, some troopers from the 501th and the 212th battalions. 

“You look amazing my dear. Absolutely stunning!”

When you heard the familiar chuckle, you turned to Gregor with a big smile as he winked at you from the center of a lady's wreath. He greeted you with two kisses on the cheek, which caused most of the ladies gathered around him to frown glumly with their colorful lips. But you didn't care, you and Gregor were good friends before you got together with Wolffe.

"I see you are not bored. You have quite an amount of pretty ladies as company."

"Well, somehow I have to make up for the time I was gone. And they can't resist the famous 'Gregor charm'." 

When he did his iconic hair straightening motion one girl almost passed out, you just rolled your eyes laughing. Gregor took a good look at you and knew right away.

"Naughty girl! You're gonna kill this poor bastard with your sexiness. Has he noticed it yet?"

"Not yet."

"Good. Play your cards smart dear. And don't sit on cold benches!"

He planted another kiss on your cheek and returned to his ladies. Such a ladies man.

There was a kind of unspoken agreement between you two, when Wolffe was around Gregor would try to flirt with you. This made Wolffe a little jealous and left delicious bruises on your soft skin to your delight while fucking you to heaven. And Gregor's current lady was also jealous and gave the Captain what he wanted much sooner. A win-win situation.

Wolffe put his arms around you. You enjoyed the concert together. You sang the lyrics with the band, you danced as much as the crowd allowed. The music and the atmosphere permeated you completely. You were upbeat and happy, a gorgeous smile was on your face and sparkle in your eyes.

Wolffe looked at you and couldn't get enough of you. He adored you. He was kind of obsessed. Your beautiful appearance, which seems to have been made for him. Your raven and shiny silky hair, your pretty face, your soft and divine body. Your kind heart, which holds so much love. The care that you put in your friendships. The nurture care you showed for the adopted kittens. As you shower his newly acquired war scars with kisses. Your passion for your work. 

He didn't believe in his wildest dreams that he would ever be able to feel this way about someone. 

As he observed you lovingly, he noticed a small blush appear on your cheeks. Then he noticed how the band's lead singer looked at you. Noah kriffing Sebastian was ogling you like you were a delicious dessert to him. Wolffe knew he was your celebrity crush since you were young. Wolffe was no longer paying attention to the music, but to the way the singer almost sang to you, and that he even winked at you. This clearly had an effect on him, because the Commander decided it was time to act. There were two options. He rips out the musician's heart with his bare hands in front of you, or reminds you who you belong to.

Unfortunately, he wouldn't win much with the first move, as he would be arrested and convicted, which would be a lot of paperwork for Fox, leaving option number 2. He took your upper arm and gently but firmly led you out of the crowd and into one of the deserted corridors.

He pinned you to the wall, the cold metal cooling your back. He covers your mouth with his, hot and heavy.

"Wolffe! What's gotten into you?" you asked.

He didn't answer, he just studied your face in silence, the neon lights in the reflection of his cybernetic eyes only made him even more dangerously handsome. The shadows on his face highlighted his strong nose, high cheekbones and attractive lips.

"I decided it's time for a little reminder for you mesh'la. I see you're enjoying the concert too much."

"Yes it's amazing! Aren't you enjoying it?"

"Not really when that bastard singer have eyes on something he shouldn't. I see how he basically eyefucked you. Do you want it mesh'la? Want to fuck him? Don't even get me started on Gregor."

"No. I'm only yours, you know that."

You cupped his face and looked into his eyes, soon you realized regardless, you still get a little reminder how to behave. You smiled at him.

"Good. Now be a good girl, and open up." he commanded.

You obeyed, opened your mouth and looked up at him seductively through your eyelashes.

"Make them wet."

You sucked them in and you gently started to caress his fingers with your tongue and enjoyed the effect you caused him. His eyes are fixed on you, lustful and dark, he swallows, then takes them away from your lips and straight towards your hot, longing center.

That's when he discovers that you're not wearing pants or a skirt. You see the surprise slide across his face and then turn into a satisfied smile. He relaxes his free hand on the belt of the jacket as he unbuttons it, then discovers that you are only wearing your underwear under the jacket, and the thigh high boots. He almost growled with desire.

"Such a dirty girl. You're gonna be the end of me."

He basically groweld in your ears. While he pulled your panties to the side out of his kriffing way and started gently stroking your folds and found that sensitive spongy spot as he slid two fingers into you. You were already wet all evening from the excitement of your choice of clothing and the feelings of his closeness.

His fingers moved rhythmically inside you as he massaged your clit in circular motions with his thumb. You moaned loudly with lust.

"Funny Gregor said that too." you let out a chuckle.

Wolffe suddenly stopped with his motions, eliciting a moan of complaint from you at the lack of his fingers. He grabbed your chin with his fingers wet from your juices, squeezing it a little.

His veins on his neck straining from how hard he's clenching his jaws, the wild nearly homicidal look in those amber colored and silver dark eyes, you began to understand how he came about his name. It aroused you to no end.

"I'm only going to ask this once, and you better have a good answer for me, mesh'la. Who does this pussy belong to? Who do you belong to?"

Maker, you were a whimpering mess, you wanted him so bad to take you right here right now while the concert still plays in the background and with the excitement that anyone could caught you in this position.

"You. Only you Commander." you said

"Will you think about other men when I'm pleasing you?" he asked in a gentle tone but from his eyes you saw how serious he was.

" Never. I'm only yours."

"Wouldn't you like anyone else to touch you like this? Hmm?"

He asked slowly oh so slowly circling your clit with his free hand, the other kept you still by the jaw.

"Are you wishing it was someone elses fingers inside of you? Noah Sebastian maybe? Or Captain Gregor? Do you think they make a better job at knowing you? Loving you like I do?"

His voice was low warm toned, it sent shivers down your spine.

He slipped to fingers in your tight aching cunt. You whined in pleasure wanting more, but he was torturing you with his sweet slow motions. Maker you wanted more.

"No there is only you. Only you my Commander. Oh, Wolffe, give me more! I need to come so bad. I don't want anyone else but you. No rockstar."

"What about the Captain you want him?"

"No, I don't wish for Gregor. Only you my love."

"Good. Don't ever say his name while I'm inside you. Understand that pretty girl?"

You loved it when he spoke to you in his commanding tone.

"Yes."

"Yes, What?" He leaned in closer to you, your lips almost touched.

"Yes, Commander." you said and he let out a satisfied grumble which made your pussy twitch in answer.

Oh, how he loved hearing that rank roll off your lips. Just the thought of it made him rock hard. Just as much as you loved to hear his growls and moans.

You palmed his turgid length through his pants and earned some more pleasant noises from Wolffe.

His fingers begin to swirl on your sensitive bud, you open your legs wider to allow him better access, and let out a small gasp when he gently nibbles your ear. He can feel how wet you get by his movements. His fingers curl in you the way he knows it makes your knees weak you can't help it but to grind into his palm. He starts to explore your neck and jaw gently kissing biting and sucking delicious lovebites on your pale skin.  You can feel you're close to your climax as he moved his hand in you and rubbed on your clit, when he felt your inner muscles clench around him he let out a satisfied growl in your ear, when you decided to lean closer to him and lick a long stripe over his pulse.

"Fuck...Wolffe...I'm close.." you moaned.

"Then cum for me mesh'la, give it to me sweet thing..."

Your climax hit you hard and you felt so wonderfully helpless as the room spun and you saw stars, you heard the music from the still running concert show.

He still had his hand in you still hit that oh so sweet spongy spot to help you ride out your orgasm. Wolffe loved to make you cum. Feeling you fall apart in his arms seeing how beautiful you were and how vulnerable in those moments it turned him on like nothing else.

"Shhh you such a good girl." he shooted you and kissed your forehead. "But you have to earn another one. Is it okay for you sweet thing?"

"Yes. Please. Please I need to taste you Commander."

You knelt down, running your fingers gracefully along his thick muscled legs up towards the zipper. When your hand was on his hardness, you looked up seductively.

"May I Commander suck on your cock sir? "

"Yes you fucking may. I like it when you know how to behave. Good girls get a reward."

Some concern appeared on your face when you saw his huge cock bounce out from his pants. He was perfect and you became more aroused when you see the effect you made on him. You rubbed your red plum lips gently to the tip to smear his salty pre cum then you slid it fully into your mouth ever so slowly and Wolffe let out a sexy hoarse voiced moan. You welcomed him with wet hotness and a tight throat as you moved up and down on his shaft. You tried to take him further, still only getting half way.

Your mouth felt a little dry, since you had been singing and shouting at the concert so far. Wolffe caressed your face lovingly, then turned up your face by the jaw:

"I got you. Open up, pretty girl, let me help you."

You obeyed, you opened your mouth with your eyes closed and felt him kiss you passionately and spit in your mouth.

You couldn't take it, you reached down with your hand and played with yourself until you were now completely wet and hot and could let him into your mouth and suck on him rhythmically up and down. His head fell back in pleasure.

"Just like that...so kriffing good...so good with that pretty mouth of yours."

You gently wrung guttural moans from him. Holding his gaze was hard but something in his gaze just kept you there. You couldn't look away from him.

He had that lustful loving look on you full of feral and hunger for you. Only you can get this reaction out of him. Only you hold this power over him, that makes him rock hard and wild for you.

You enjoyed and valued this power, this connection you two had. Force bond? Fuck that! You two were so perfect, so meant to be. Fucking soulmates.

You might have closed your eyes for these sweet thoughts because you heard his command.

"Don't you dare look away from me mesh'la."

He was satisfied with your quick response because he gently grabbed your hair and with one hand he guided you on his cock.

"That's it, keep your eyes on me. I want you to watch me as I fuck that pretty mouth. "

He couldn't have looked away if he tried to. The way his cock disappeared in and out from your mouth, as your talented tongue worked on him it almost made him lose his mind. If he was gonna die this is the way he wants to leave this life, with you, inside you. Loving you.

"Ah sweetheart I'm close... Will you be good and swallow? You can say the safe word if you want to stop."

You worked on him with more passion and gripped his hips as an answer.

You knew exactly what made him feel heavens, what movements he needed to tip over the edge and cum.

Your pace quickened and your tongue too, his grip tightened in your hair and his moans were louder.

You didn't care about the world around you, what mattered is the two of you, to bring pleasure to each other. And luckily he  chose a well hidden corridor. So you weren't disturbed.

He came hard, his head fell back, eyes closed growling like a real wolf. His salty warm cum came down your throat as you swallowed all of it. He looked down on you with lovesick eyes.

You looked so lovely, your mascara a bit smeared from your tears, your mouth is red glistening with his cum, your hair is messy and your eyes full of emotions.

He helped you up, kept you close to him, kissed you with love and passion.

"I'm so crazy for you mesh'la."

He whispered to your locks when he gave you a forehead kiss. You hugged him tight, intoxicated with his warmness and his cologne.

"Should I help you with something?"

"I just go for a quick touch up in the bathroom." you said.

You went into another corridor with still wobbly legs and acknowledged that there was no line in frotnt of the bathrooms so the show must be still going on.

You only saw a pretty lilac twilek girl press Gregor to the wall kissing him furiously. When he saw you he held his fist out and you fist bumped it while going in the ladies room.

You cleaned yourself up, put on another coat of lipstick, wiped away the smeared mascara and noticed all the lovely bruises your Commander gave you. Your neck was full of maroon colored lovebites, they were very noticable and very sexy on your skin. Wolffe guaranteed everyone saw he marked his territory.

When you went back he was waiting for you, and when you entered the crowd again he whispered to your ear as he wrapped his arms around you.

"Don't worry mesh'la the night isn't over yet. I have some plans for you after the concert. When I'm done with you my love, you won't even remember your own name."

...

Part 2. is coming soon!

[camzverse]

Howdy!! I really like ur spider duo AU, I have some questions!!

1. What are Spider-Van and Spidey's power sets, and do they have any extra special abilities other than their spider powers?

2. How did Vanessa and Gregory first meet? Must have been a chaotic story.

3.  I'll be blunt with this one but, does Gregory have alive parents or is he an orphan/foster kid? 💀💀 also, does he live with Vanessa?

4. Does Cassie know/met Roxanne in person?

5. Bc Roxy doesn't know she's a werewolf bc of memory loss, how does she cope with the massive gaps in her memory when she goes back to normal?

6. What does the media think of Spider-Van and Spidey? Which comes to my personal favorite question, have either of them been cancelled for something stupid?

7. Does Fazcorp want to capture Ness and Greg or do they not care abt them being spider-people?

HI HELLO IM SO HAPPY YOU ASKED!!!

ok so their powers are mostly the same but there are some discrepanciesss. spider-van doesnt have wall-crawling (since the spider that bit her was an early prototype it lacked that ability) and spidey only got somewhat increased strength rather than super strength. they both have organic webbing, spider sense, increased agility and balance, ykyk. i think thats everything ? also i was thinking of giving spidey the venom strike power (aka miles morales' electricity thing) but idk idk. and as for any other special abilities, cant really think of any.. ^_^;

storytimeee :3 so it happened the day after gregory got bit. so like his powers just kicked in today and he has no idea wtf is happening. and it was on a school day so hell broke loose a bit. anyway he runs out of school bc hes in a. kerfuffle. to say the least. his powers are going haywire hes got various objects stuck to his hands etc yk how it is. so hes walking down the street and unbeknownst to him vanessa (as spider-van rn) is engaged in a fight with some villain. hes waaay too focused and concerned with his own situation to even NOTICE the fight. and like its a pretty big messy fight and at one point van hits the villain and they go crashing down RIGHT at where gregory is. van quickly moves him out of the way (he falls onto the ground though and also the stuff that was stuck to his hands falls off) and is like "woah hey you alright??" and literally as shes finishing her sentence he webs her in the face. Not intentionally. but yeah his powers are still going totally haywire and he accidentally shoots a web RIGHT in her face. he tries to run away bc hes incredibly panicked but she doesnt let him go bc she realizes the material of the web he just flung at her head is identical to that of her webs (prob not a common material so shed recognize it) so shes asking like "how did you do that?" and she kinda grabs his arm bc she assumed he had built some device that can shoot webs like that but thats when they have like a Spidey Sense Thing like in into the spiderverse and she Realizes. more happens after that but yeah thats how they initially met 😋😋

in typical spider-man fashion gregs parents are dead. dead as hell. what shoes they got on in their grave. (/ref) but uhh idk i was thinking he lives with an aunt or smth and id have her die early in the story like how uncle ben dies ykyk. but im not rly solid on that. i just havent thought of a living situation for him in this au that satisfies my brain perfectly.. so take everything i just said with a grain of salt bc its subject to change (except his parents will still be dead that part im solid on)

cassie has met roxanne one time :) she goes to her races a lot but there was one time when she was younger that her dad got like vip tickets or smth that let her actually meet roxy in person

well at first she didnt even notice the gaps in her memory because she had been transforming at nighttime and wouldve been asleep, but soon the transformations started happening earlier and multiple times a day and she was. extremely concerned. about the memory loss. but she was really trying to act as if nothing was wrong bc for all she knew, maybe nothing was wrong . maybe she had just gotten confused. and if something was wrong it could be smth bad for her career or whatever and she did NOT want to risk that so she covered it up/ignored it/hid it yk. she doesnt even know what had happened until she gets apprehended as the "she-wolf" (as shes nicknamed by the press) by spider duo and wakes up in a containment room of a lab that would then try to fix her whole werewolf problem

oh the media LOVES them. or at least the public does. theres still like one newspaper company thats on their asses 24/7 but generally yeah the people are big fans (people actually even sell merch of them in universe its funny. theyve bought some of their own merch too) . and YEAH lmfao they have both been cancelled at least once. spidey moreso than van. like she gets cancelled maybe just one time but hes been cancelled likee 3+ times. its always some crazy ass misunderstanding too like he'll make a harmless goofy comment and people will b like "Oh so he thinks babies should die." like its crazy. or he saves someone and theyre like "what can i do to thank you" and he makes a joke like "can you do my science homework? Lol" and suddenky some rnadom group of parents is trying to cancel him for promoting academic fraud or some shit idk man. but yeah no lmao rvery once in a while some rando starts trying to cancel them. also think it woukd be funny for them to get kinda cancelled like how miles morales did in atsv with like the baby powder or whatever LMAO. its funby. But on a more serious note they technically got cancelled during the glitchtrap/venom arc since they pretty much turned evil and everyone turned on them. took a whiiile to come back from that after ut was over. thats not some stupid silly thing tho so whatevs

at first fazcorp didnt care about capturing or stopping them like at all. they actually cooperated a couple of times before. they were on decent terms. however when freddy shows up things change in the fazcorp-spider duo dynamic.. after freddy goes rogue from fazcorp and is about to be taken down by spider duo, someone from fazcorp shows up to apprehend and take back freddy but van and spidey dont want them to take him back since at this point they know what they built him for and do Not want rhat to continue. so they fight and win but fazcorp is furious theyve interfered with their operations. before they had a 'you dont bother me, i dont bother you, and maybe ill help u too' type of deal but. well that wont work anymore. afterwards fazcorp begins doing things to create more villains and try to take them down. etc etc. so by a later point yeah they do definitely care about capturing them. plus they can study them. but them being spider-people alone wasnt enough for them to try to capture them yk

THANK YOU FOR THE QUESTIONS!!!1!1!1 im so joyous 🤗🤗 i love talking about this au

[temperamentalaquarius]

any thoughts on batman: black mirror? i really enjoyed it (as a non-batfamily fan) but i'm wondering if there is a difference of opinion with people who are actually acquainted with the context behind black mirror, i guess. which parts did you find the strongest + which parts did you find the weakest?

anyways, im a huge fan of your comics-posting (which is both, in the best way, entertaining and insightful). have a great day!

Ahhh thank u!! I'm glad I'm not the only one having fun 😁!!!

Thank you so much for sending this, I loved the dick!bats era and I liked The Black Mirror!!

I thought it was a decent Dick story, and I loved that it had Babs and Tim as the supporting cast. It was good to see them back(mostly) in their 90s early 2000s element.

I thought that the A plot was better than the serial killer B plot-; it had a lot of personal connection for Dick without being about the Graysons and orcas(which are some of the most vicious and borderline cruel predators that terrify me to my core and it was really cool to see them get some use)- even if I didn't find the ending super satisfying.

I thought James was interesting, and his story was more linear but the addition of the Joker into the situation was kind of just...messy and not entirely necessary? It kind of killed it for me. Idk I might just have Joker fatigue. I did like the coloring and a good portion of the art better in that part of the story, tho. I thought the mood they set was really cool and a little scary.

My high points were all (unsurprisingly) character based:

I loved the way Tim saving Dick from his own shit here

Kinda paralleled this scene in NW 96

But more mature. Watching them go from Dick mentoring Tim to them having a much more balanced relationship where Tim can fully have Dick's back has always been super satisfying and seeing it making a come back after their little fallout was cool

I also like the attention paid to the differences in Bruce and Dick's philosophy (specifically here:

) and the difficulty that Batman presents Dick because of it. Part of the appeal of Dick being Batman is the reluctance and the chunk of flesh it takes out of him and I think this story really got the tone of that right. He's making mistakes that he wouldn't normally, he's not sleeping; you can really tell that everything is getting to him. He feels like the walls are closing in on him with no way out (sometimes literally) and it makes the whole story kind of..weary? It's as much man vs man as it is man vs self. Love that many of the action sequences in the book happen in enclosed places that have an unstoppable deadly force converging on him with no way out and how that emphasizes the theme

OH and my absolute favorite analogy for the mindset that dick operates w/ is in this book

And how that works with his parents rules for survival

There's like... a debate on whether Dick plans or if he acts on instinct and I like the way that this breaks it down to: yes, he's planning from the start and if it seems like he isn't it's because that's what he wants you to think- but he understands that leaving space to bob and weave is a part of that process. Ultimate planner that is liable to start behaving erratically as fuck at any moment is such a fun look

Favorite fight was probably the horror forward snap at the auction, with honorarable mentions going to Dick v.s the compactor, Dick v.s. the orca, and of course Dick v.s. The bends

Worst was by far this one:

There is no way he should've been able to waltz into Babs' hideout without her knowing I'm so sorry it's just not realistic, like, that's Barbara Gordon???

[bunny584]

i loved part two to yuuta’s obsessed installment!!! i liked that he seemed to be more in control this time and was in some ways more direct but ohhhh it’s truly a testament to ur writing the way i full body cringed when he came early. no shame in it obviously but i know that must’ve been like a bucket of cold water on him and for his girl to just get up and saunter away like ma’am pls let him wash his hands first the man has tears forming in his eyes LMAO but yes i did love it and i hope we get a third part where they can go all the way. im really interested in the dynamic between yuuta and the reader bc she seems to be super go with the flow and yuuta is just so fixated that idk how he can successfully accomplish getting her to stick around romantically/sexually but i think that development would be so cool to figure out, im rooting for them 1000% and i want reader’s sorority sisters to make yuuta a blushing mess when he’s in the sorority house kitchen getting a drink of water at 6 in the morning with a crazy amount of hickies on his neck practicing his breathing so he doesn’t bust more premature nuts at the image of the reader wearing his shirt

Anon. YES. I could literally kiss you for this analysis right now. You got my point to the exact T.

It would’ve been inauthentic if Loverboy and Reader had a smooth first time. He’s been pining after her for YEARS. Of course there is going to be an element of performance anxiety, incomplete control. Then tack on the insanity of his yandere traits and it’s a perfect storm. I purposefully made it a bumpy ride (I’m so happy you cringed).

Sorority girl is a little brutal 😅 but she was trying to make him feel better by being like “oh it’s NBD!!” So out of pocket.

Amazing pick up on the contrast in their personalities. He clearly is meticulous, obsessive, ruminates on everything. She’s very airy, light hearted. Makes for an interesting match up, yes?

Will also make him finally having her how he wants her more satisfying.

I’ll get off my podium but I said all that to say, incredible analysis. You picked up what I wanted to portray. and I love you. Now we kiss (kidding, joking..ish).

[valeriianz]

2, 3, 14, 19 for the concert asks?

yo! under the cut cos this got just a little long

2: Best concert you’ve ever been to

THE CAT EMPIRE AT HISTORY, TORONTO!

ahhhh every Cat Empire show is crazy. they are so fucking talented and you can tell they just love music. they do jam sessions on stage and the hype and positivity is so infectious. Felix does this thing that i love where he sticks the mic stand into the crowd and gets us singing. it's always such a fun time. and the fans, dude! we are all just music lovers and since i always go to shows alone, i love talking with them. they are the most down to earth, chill human beings.

and this show in particular, i got invited backstage to jam with the band 😭💖 we ate pizza and drank beer and it was the coolest experience of my life. i wish they toured N America more lmao

3: Worst concert you’ve ever been to

im very fortunate that most of my shows have been at least worth the money. but i can think of two right off the bat that i wasn't satisfied with. story time(s)!

Lindsey Stirling at the MET in Philly.

so, ive seen Lindsey Stirling three times. for those who don't know her, she's a violinist, but very poppy with dubstep mixed in. her shows focus very heavy on dance and theatrics. the first time was at a festival when she was suuuuper brand new (2015) and the crowd was alive. it was so fun. and it makes sense, her music is the type to dance to!

second time i saw her was another standing crowd situation in Manhattan circa 2016. when i say the crowd was dead, oh my god it was lifeless. i was embarrassed. New York City, what the hell?

then i saw her at the MET in 2022, which is a seated venue. and like, holy hell... everyone remained seated, even when Lindsey told the crowd to get up and dance multiple times. at one point i had put my phone up to record a certain part of the show and the girl sitting behind me immediately tapped me on the shoulder and told me to put my phone down. like, okay i get recording the show is annoying, but im not that guy. i just wanted to record a 10 second sequence she was doing but fine. i barely took my phone out during that performance.

but anyway, the stillness. listen, ive been to seated venues before (rock shows) and no one ever remains seated through the entire show. what the fuck is that? i was dancing in my seat while everyone around me looked at me like i was crazy. omg i just wanted to jam! and then my favorite song came up, Roundtable Rival (listen to this song and tell me how im not supposed to dance to this) and fuck it, i stood up and started to shake it.

to wrap up this long story, the girls behind me were so disgusted by my actions they full on left. there was only one other person in the floor seats that i could see who was also standing and dancing. and during the last song, Lindsey actually made everyone stand up and groove to the song (but even standing, these people were fucking dead).

i took my frustrations to reddit, asking if i was in the wrong, and got absolutely dog-piled with hate. even though Lindsey clearly said at least twice during the show to stand up. i haven't listened to her since. she's a talented musician, but the fans absolutely killed it for me.

Fall Out Boy at the Key Bank Center, Buffalo

this is gonna be a short one. this was in 2017-early 2018 i think. it was for their Mania tour. I had seen them the year before in Brooklyn and the show they put on was super fun, they really made use of the stage (this was an arena tour) and for that show, i had purchased nose-bleed seats. and for this one in Buffalo, i purchased floor tickets (it was significanly cheaper in Buffalo).

but they didn't utilize the stage at. all in Buffalo. all the theatrics i had seen in Brooklyn didn't exist here. the tracklist was pretty much the same, the graphics and pyro the same. but just a weak performance with no energy. i was so bored.

14: Moshpit, barricade, back, or rafters

i have sampled all these options, and 100% always prefer the barricade. i love being up close to the action and (usually) that up close is where the party is happening. (though i could go on a rant about how concert goers don't jump/dance at shows anymore, even some rock shows ive been to have just been. muted. i still dance my face off and make it a problem for the people around me).

tried one moshpit in my experience and the adrenaline is like nothing else. but i'd probably steer clear of it now. gotta protect my weary bones in my older age haha

19: Farthest traveled for concert/festival

before my trip in June, it was 400 miles (within the states). but after my last show, its now 560 miles (900 km)!

ive definitely thought about going to festivals overseas, especially since two of my favorite bands are English and Australian... but as much as i love traveling, i find it annoying to plan a trip around a concert so. traveling further than a few hundred miles just for a show is not something i typically do.

concert asks

[cabyang]

god i hope no one on the face of the earth sees this and at the same time im hoping someone does. cabyang is such an interesting ship to me because of cabby and yinyangs past,present and future you would think after the first betrayals animation epic would've stuck them together. like cold unwavering person who in it to win it and nothing else meets two people who can't be bothered with winning, just seeming to have fun and go with the flow no matter the consequences, allowing for yinyang to realize that although a lot of people are cruel, not everyone is and allowing cabby to realize that you can't truly win something if you had no positive experiences except the winning part, and yet with this huge missed opportunity early on i still feel like their relationship now is super satisfying and is going to be instrumental into helping yinyang with those obvious insecurities, not searching to fix him once and for all like candle, but looking too uplift him when he needs it and take little steps. But even if you take all this serious stuff out of it they are still a TREAT onscreen, like just knowledgeable but awkward person and silly goofy guy(s) where one is also kinda awkward and definitely chaotic but the other is more rational and level headed is just an inherently great concept with lots of comedy potential, but also they have great potential for angst and also fluff and really they seem like the perfect fit for eachother. Like two (technically three but you know what I mean) symbiotic species so intertwined with eachother despite just growing close to one another. Truly despite not having much screentime together they are the friendship equivalent to striking gold, or hell even diamonds. They also work great romantically, with the eternal awkward tug of war of "just confess already but don't because this is super entertaining watching you both miss the others bad flirting like this" leading into just a flat out healthy and entertaining relationship, wether you use it for angst, fluff or whatever! I will rep this ship until the day I die.

[podcastliveblogging]

Okay so I’m a bit late to the fandom (lol) but I HAVE to share my thoughts on The Magnus Archives so far. I’m on episode 100 (season 3), and first of all ALL of the plot twists have rocked me as they happened.

At first everything felt a bit episodic (which makes sense given the nature of the podcast) but as things progressed you could just TELL it was building up to something big.

I LOVED the parts where recordings were being made of action in the Magnus institute in real time. I was expecting something like that based on my experiences listening to a bit of “Welcome to Night Vale” but I was not prepared for all the cool things!!! But that’s not why I’m rambling here.

While listening to the podcast originally I had some critiques about the style. I’ll just say that I LOVE the aesthetic it’s going for with the VHS tapes and the background music (that I know is not canon but used for the effect). However, I was just a bit disappointed because it was clear each statement, written or recorded by the witness directly, had a very distinctive style.

I had thought it was because I’m American that I noticed all the ways people paused in their statements or stuttered in a specific way, but as time went on I was sure it was just Jonathan Simms’ (sorry for my spellings of names by the way, I’ve only heard them spoken so far) style that had all the statements feeling so similar.

They had almost formulaic structure in the way they laid their stories down in a perfect narrative, starting with maybe an anecdote about their childhood or their job and giving great context for how they ended up in supernatural situations. The vocabulary used was way more advanced than was plausible in every statement, even in those who did not have much of a formal education or in direct spoken statements (which in-universe should have been made up on the fly). Especially in the spoken witness statements I was disappointed because people don’t just tell firsthand stories like that.

Im very much a stickler for the details, and things like “how could this story have been written and submitted to the Magnus institute” and “is this really what a person in this position would think/do” and just logistics in general are always in my mind.

Yet despite the writing style poking through, I felt like any other semantics I could have brought up were answered very well by the detail given in the statements, so I was satisfied enough to suspend my disbelief. It wasn’t too hard anyway since the stories were so well-written and captivating. I know it’s really hard to tell a good story while making sense in a meta way, so I just accepted it. The story was very ambitious anyway and I was otherwise loving it!!!!

Something remarkable about episode 100 is that Martin takes his first statement direct from witness. I had to stop listening a few minutes in because something clicked. The statement was super stilted, comepletely different from any of Jon’s taken statements. Martin, instead of getting a story from the witness, had to press for details and got maybe a sentence from each question. There was no story, no context or background, just questions and awkwardness.

In all of Jon’s statements there was never any pause in the story (unless it was interuppted by another person) even though it was a real person reliving the events. It was seriously a narrative. And around this point in the podcast we’re finally revealing the extent of Jon’s powers under the Eye.

Obviously we’ve gotten hints before: a constant feeling of being watched when in the Institute, Jon saying he can feel what the narrator in each statement feels (I also distinctly remember a comment in late season 1 about Jon feeling like he gets sucked into the story until he finishes it, like he loses control of himself. Which in hindsight is definitely an early version of what Jon now experiences), Daisy giving a statement despite being very much against spilling any police secrets or her past.

And now we’re getting strong manifestations that are clearly supernatural: Jon being unable to NOT demand answers of beings that are very much dangerous, the audio recording getting distorted when Jon compels people to give information.

And that last bit specifically, you can just feel that supposed style seeping through into their words, and it’s like the words aren’t completely their own. The context is there and it’s very descriptive.

And that brings me back to Martin. Clearly Jon is privy to these powers as the Archivist. Martin has no power to make people’s statements more useful and it ends up being a mess.

This is a very subtle aspect of Jon’s powers but as soon as I noticed it I was up and jumping around because it was an epiphany. The evidence has slowly been building up to this and it’s likely that this theory was discovered many episodes before 100 as they were coming out, but I just feel like a genius for noticing this, especially since I have always been very keen on details like that. It’s just so satisfying to realize that this aspect of the storytelling wasn’t just a writing quirk but an actual PART of the plot!!!!!

[pangyham]

Bg3 is insanely fun to me so far. very early in the game but knowing ive barely started makes me excited at the prospect of more cutscenes, quests, and character interactions..!!!

i was just talking to my friend about how easy it is to REALLY project yourself into the game because of how authentic and variable the character + spatial interactions are and i was like. oh god i would not survive in this world. i think for rpgs in general i will never not be able to separate myself from the chatacters i play as just because i control them. but they will always be a separate, well established character with just a bit of me in them. it's different in bg3 because of how my personal ideologies affect the storyline and characters around me, and i think it's really interesting playing a game where your character and the world around you arent narratively static or fixed (it also helps i customized my paladin) It feels real! and this isnt new, it's just very novel to me as someone who doesnt play games like bg3, and i wonder what other games offer this immersion? my only exposure to open world rpgs are genshin and botw/totk but they cant really compare because genshin has a linear storyline and you dont really influence the characters and teyvat because the narrative is already laid out (and it also clashes against the game's open world mechanic which makes the world feel, at least to me, very synthetic). botw is more of an exploration game since its whole point is testing the limits of open world. so it's not super story driven imo, not to say it doesnt have a solid story. but i love these games dearly, and bg3 offers a really satisfying and fulfilling extension to what i truly want in an rpg

but anyway that was just a tangent but basically i told my friend how my paladin pangy is kind of.. stupid. *I* am stupid. HAHAHA i happen to fall for a lot of schemes and am easily deceived. astarion killed me because i didnt shove him away after letting him bite me, afraid he might die of malnourishment. got pickpocketed by a kid (and my character ironically failed the perception check TWICE. i had no idea what was going on until my friend in call told me j just got robbed). believed the fake sobstory of the paladins who attacked karlach and had to reload my save slot so i had the upperhand. i have 0 survival instincts...it's almost ridiculous but also incredibly funny. it made me realize that this is a game worth taking seriously (and that im just. really clueless 🧍‍♂️). but the experience is fun, and i like how the stakes are high (for the most part). i have Got to get my shit together i cant get jumped like this all the time

[wileys-russo]

hello, since you liked my previous long ass ask a few days ago, im here again with more thoughts (and mostly compliments)

characters: i really like that the main characters of your stories have their own unique dynamics which change from fic to fic. for example, the childhood sweethearts protagonist reads different from a date to remember protagonist, and similarly fresa and pollito read much different from each other. yes, i see the similarities in them but I also see how they interact with others in their own unique ways, i enjoy that and I appreciate how they are consistent within their own series.

a lot of it comes down to how you write players (and I believe someone else also pointed this out recently but); their personalities make sense (ofcourse I don’t really know what they’re like irl but their interpretations make sense in a headcannon sort of way).  

(i digress here so feel free to ignore this part) this is something i notice in recent videogames as well, in most early videogames all characters were written as “empty shells” so people could project their own personalities onto them and “relate” to them better but modern video games have started to also give their main characters some personality traits which make them more likeable and easier to relate to which leads to better storytelling and quests.

(controversial?) but i really like that you don’t use the “y/n” thing, it just breaks the flow of conversations and I just think its neat when people find a way around it

(super controversial?) (forgive me) I don’t think I am an alessia girlie but I do love the way you write her.

she is lovely and talented and brilliant and its adorable how she answers every question with “ya its incredible…”

plot: ohf, i appreciate you trying to find unique prompts and settings. it takes time and effort and is a challenge to rethink setting and situation every time. Moreover, these things just take time ya know (and but as a reader its worth the wait).

i used to work on an animated series, and our writers used to struggle with things like character consistency, repetitive plots, dialogues etc so wanted to highlight these points and say good job. creating art in any form or shape or kind and posting it is nerve-wrecking and scary, so I appreciate everyone who tries.

tiny bits of slang and localisation is just so satisfying. a little bit of “hoover”, “crisps” or “arvo” depending on their intended nationality, makes me happy.  

----

finally, its time for some beef i.e an unserious reaction to things the reader does

cutting the crusts off toast: the crust is an important part of the toast; you cannot just cut it off?!?! 1/5.

Hate against olives and tomatoes: is this a texture thing? if yes, i get it. no i dont. 2.5/5.

Nail biting: the amount of gErMs NO!. -15/5.

fidgeting with jewelry: you must, you cannot not. 5/5

using chopsticks or a spoon to eat certain snacks: super valid. ate and left no crumbs (literally). 10/5.  

sticky notes to help study: effective. 7/5.  

reading a book poolside on vacation: -5/5 (will not be explaining this one)

smushing strawberries against your face instead of eating them: crime/10.

causing trouble and blaming it on someone else (mapi) – perfect/5. (+ all pollito fics are so funny)

----

as always, I hope you are well and have a good day :)

I once again am rendered speechless and wish I could say more but thank you so much for your kind compliments and thoughts, it means a lot!! 💞

[scalamore]

Lehan and Lari

I just love how consistent the characterization of these two are.

During the Bellua vacation, Lari admitted that "memories are always more beautiful then they really were". Early in the series, Lari admitted that she never knew Lehan at all in TL1. They were as good as strangers. She stayed home all the time and minded her own business, while he left at age 11 for the military academy, and for the most part stayed there until age 17. He acted distant with her, and she didn't bother closing the gap. It wasn't until he died then she realized she should have put more effort into knowing him, because she can't even remember his face. So in TL2 she put a tremendous amount of effort into getting to know him this time, and spending more time with him. Yes, Lari does act very close and chummy with him, with grabbing his arm, hugging him etc, but this is all in the context of how she's just super happy she's getting along with her PRECIOUS YOUNGER BROTHER this time. She's getting to see him grow and mature and become successful as a military cadet. Yes, she does blush and her heart skips beats occasionally, but it's all in the context of "OMG! Im so happy! my PRECIOUS YOUNGER BROTHER is so thoughtful! and kind! he's so nice to me he's such a good guy ~~!". All the affection Lari has for him, is all familial. Lehan knows this. When Lari was betrayed by them, it was clear: Lehan never thought of her as his sister, because he thought of her as a future wife. She doesn't like him in that way. Again she realized, she never knew Lehan at all. She was clinging one-sidedly to the illusion they were a close family.... she was the only one who thought that.

So enough is enough, and she severed their bond. They aren't siblings anymore, they aren't family. THEY. ARE. STRANGERS. But it's upsetting that despite this, Lehan is taking advantage of her goodwill and trying to get closer and court her. UGHHH But I think it's SO SATISFYING that Lari is responding with disgust at Lehan in the recent chapters. She's flinching and moving away when he tries to touch her - as she should be. Novel Lari mentioned that she doesn't like it when strangers, especially men touch her. Rupert knows she doesn't like to be touched, and tries his best to be hands off. Lehan doesnt' care what Lari wants, and keeps on trying to be touchy and not getting the hint. UGH. So far so good... I have an irrational fear that Hyeyong-nim (the adaptation writer) will suddenly introduce drama for the sake of drama with Lehan as the 2nd male lead... ... I hope this stays as an irrational fear ahaha.

[oathofkaslana]

Kiana Kaslana for the ask game

YAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAY ty <3

ask game here

My first impression: oh a lot of people seem to like her? she seems very silly.

My impression now: the things i would do just to see her again oh my god i miss her so so so much my everythinggirl..... every part of her story is so poignant to me and i feel like it only wouldve been elevated if they lingered a bit on points theyve already brought up (ex: her complicated feelings w siegfried)

Favorite thing about that character: aourghourghourgh.. her being sooooo stubborn. its super endearing and gets her into trouble all the time i loveeee when a quality is also a flaw <3. in terms of writing i really like hi3 changing her to be a clone since it provides suuuch a fun deviation of the chosen one trope and makes her resonating w the cocoon of finality so much more satisfying

Least favorite thing: early hoyo writing where kiana was written as a pervert sucks a lot esp since the jokes often relied on her not obliging by boundaries :/ it doubly sucks bc like. they were young teens then thats so fucking weird.

Favorite line/scene: EVERLASTING FLAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kind of a cheat answer but i love it so so so so so much. chapter 25 in general god. i loeveee kiana being put on trial by the herrscher of dominion and the layers of this herrscher defined by a collection of puppets and a belief in humanitys inherent worthelssness challenges k423's beliefs about herself as a clone and has her stubbornly refusing to believe in the worst in people :'''')

Favorite interaction that character has with another: ough there are so many i dont think i can choose dear god. im just gonna list various ones w different characters. this ones really small but w siegfried theres this one page where he falls asleep on the floor and kiana puts a blanket over him and curls up next to him and he wakes up, putting the blanket on her insteda (she is still on the floor.) its so so sad to me he's a pretty shitty dad to her at that moment especially but :(((( another strong contender is when he meets theresa again and starts asking abt donghua and theresas lambasting him about not even asking about kiana and he admits that he cant or he'll get distracted im going to fucking cry...... lament of the fallen is such an easy one for mei so ill say them in chapter 32 :''') kiana opening up abt her talk with himeko and audibly choking up when she talks about it i feel sick dear god. both telling each other how important they are to each other and the hope they give each other :' kiana grabbing her hand and telling her they'll go home togteher OUGHHH w bronya its definitely their goodbyes to each other. the fact that bronya is so sad that she makes an excuse to leave early because she doesnt want kiana to see her cry and schedules them for video game nights so kiana isnt lonely dear fucking god. another contender is ofc in everlasting flames where she defends kiana and uses the HoR powers to tie her hair up i feel sick theyre soooo sisters to me himekos also really really really hard bc both final lesson and chapter 25 exist but i think final lesson takes it for me. ive said it over and over again but himeko actively not wanting to die but choosing to anyways because she doesnt want kiana to die (even though this goes against the protocol shes been living and teaching by) and that ultimately being the thing that keeps kiana going OUGHHHHHHH. also fuck. the lyrics to nightglow. w sirin its of course that part of graduation trip who would i be if that line wasnt there. fuckkkk. her putting her hand back to align with kianas too :(

A character that I wish that character would interact with more: CHEWING ON MY WALLS. SO MANY PEOPLE. primarily i wish we got to see more of her with like. bronya, theresa, sirin, bianka. i know we got a lot of bronya and sirin alread ybut. consider there couldve been more..

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character: this is so fucking humiliating. bruce wayne. he doesnt struggle w his humanity the exact same way as kiana does but they both struggle with/are motivated by feelings of guilt and love of humanity. also. arc city kiana. i rest my case.

A headcanon about that character: aurgh ok sm i havent posted about before. man. i just think she has such complex feelings during her st freya days. i think she'd stay up late and think about her dad or think about days where she was didn't have the domesticity she has now and feel so thankful for it. i think st freya dorms was both hard and easy for her to settle into. i think she and bronya have spent some nights staying up together playing video games because they both feel that.

A song that reminds of that character: i'm still here by the john rzeznik o7 its soooo himeko and kiana to me.

An unpopular opinion about that character: i don't think i have any unpopular opinions about her actually skjhbdfbhd

Favorite picture:

these two :''

[captainmarsupial]

another fanime for the books! the weekend isn’t over, but i most likely won’t be going tomorrow, so im gonna grieve it like it’s over right now even if i do end up going lol. had a ton of fun even if my wallet hates me for buying so much stuff :’D

yesterday we got there kinda late, around 11:30 maybe. registered and then went to get food since we only wanted to check out the artist alley and dealer hall but they weren’t open until 2. so we got tacos and then walked to get some coffee and matcha at academic. artist alley was cool, it was like wading through treacle as always but snagged some really awesome art!

i ended up seeing a print and regretting not buying it, then deciding to walk all the way around the whole thing again to find it and that taking forever. when i finally found it there was a girl there talking to the artist, and eventually she moved aside to let me place my order. she noticed my bag (i wore a clear bag &put some pcs in it) and recognized the kyu pc i’d brought where he’s eating in n out and wearing the paper hat lmao. she was like “IS THAT…….” and it turns out we both love suju TT-TT and 2nd gen groups in general. we fangirled together over snsd a little bit too lol. tbh i get a little nervous showing my suju stuff in public just bc kpop stans are so vicious online. but i was happy to make another 2nd gen friend :))) anyway, besides the print i also got a couple of gifts for my siblings.

then we left and got food again bc we were hungry already. and then returned for dealers hall!

dealers hall was super tame since it was day 1. bart had a booth so we got some merch and freebies including a cute station stamp! also found survive said the prophet’s merch booth n bought a sick ass looking shirt. tbh i was amazed fanime was able to pull them, they’re super good. as for the rest of the hall, i managed to control myself for the most part even tho there was sooo much stuff. after wandering all the aisles we went home, &i managed to squeeze in the gym after all of that.

day2! we got there hella early, like 930? and went to academic again for coffee. then we returned to the artist alley to beat the crowd, and somehow i ended up buying EVEN MORE. a couple more prints, a few mini prints and some jjk stickers. then we went to the car to put our prints away but decided we were already hungry even tho we both ate before leaving home. after lunch we went to this kpop random dance thing, which was fun but i didn’t recognize any of the new gen stuff… after that, we went to one panel about detective conan and another one about jpop oricon hits of the 2000s. soo much nostalgia from that one! i forgot about music i used to listen to like morning musume and arashi and more. and old dramas like hanayoridango. middle school me was very satisfied.

after that we checked out a car hall, got some dinner and snacks, then went to see survive said the prophet! they put on a fucking show. soo good. we were legit lucky that that was just included with our ticket, like wtf. so worth it! &really glad i brought earplugs, bc rock music is louddddd.

after the show we went to one of the dance halls and just spent some time dancing around. a girl gave me a kandi matching my haikyuu hinata cosplay, which was such a sweet experience. i’ve never been to a rave so i’ve never received kandi before! she even gave me a hug lol. maybe that’s standard practice but i thought it was so cute and kind!

then we went home. i made a sandwich bc i didn’t realize how little i’d eaten all day. &now im exhausted afffffff so goodnight!

[pheemuru]

I want to get a little personal for a sec

Below the cut I'm going to talk about my struggle with art, energy, time management, and trying to be an artist in the current social media climate while having a full time job in an unrelated field

In august 2023, i moved out of my parents home for the first time--I moved out of state and got a full time job. this is a good thing and a super positive life event for me! I'm now living with my partner of nearly 7 years and my best friend of 5.

However my relationship with art since before I even moved out... has been really rocky. My job now occupies my time for 6 hours a day 5 days a week. I work from 6:45 am - 10 am (im including travel time here because its still my time thats occupied by work...) and then I have a break until 2 pm. Then I work 2 - 6 pm, and depending on where I'm working at, I get home anywhere from 6-7 pm. I go to bed at 11 pm (This is a very big struggle mentally for me since my jobs schedule is very much opposite of how my body functions. I'm a night owl and not at all an early bird.) This is my monday thru friday.

By the time the weekend comes, I have other household chores to keep up with before I feel like I'm "allowed" to waste my time basically. I also use my time just... recovering for the next week. Every night I get home from work I take a couple edibles to wind down and relax, which is possibly the best part of my day when I finally get to turn my brain off from having to mask and wrangle 30 something kids throughout the day. (daycare aide moment)

How this relates to my art is that I really have zero drive to do any kind of art. I have no ideas. I see stuff online and think "wow I want to do that, I wish I thought of it". Creativity doesn't come naturally to me if it isn't the result of a college assignment or a commission. I struggle a LOT with concepting and sketching. I genuinely don't know how to doodle anymore either

In 2024 I want to focus a lot more on what's going to make me feel satisfied in a career, and so far the only option I have for that is making art my full time gig. However, anyone that is trying that or has tried that knows how difficult that is and how unrealistic it is to just be able to do that with no build up.

Here's where my struggle comes in; I have no fucking energy for anything anymore. I got diagnosed with adhd and autism last year, or just about last year. My job is insanely socially heavy (I'm around 30+ kids and have to manage them) so by the time that I get home, I just want to get stoned and watch movies. I don't want to create. I don't want to do anything. not even shit i like to do.

drawing has become so fucking hard for me. it takes me so goddamn long to finish a piece, I get overwhelmed by current trends, and it doesnt help that the fact of the matter is, social media has moved onto video formats. This means I will have to keep up with video trends to get any kind of eyes on my work. But how do you keep up with video trends when you don't even have any art to show to begin with, nonetheless ones that fit with the theme of the trends going around?

So now I need to make supplementary/filler recordings to fill out content if I want to be serious about my social media presence. On top of the fact I actually have to create art. On top of the fact that there's dishes in my sink every day and laundry that has to be done every week and groceries that have to be shopped for and a job that has to be attended to five days a week. I know 30 hours a week truly is not as much as others work to be full time but my god is it exhausting? All this shit on top of itself makes me feel like I regret moving out a little bit. Overall I don't, because I don't have to live with my parents and I can relax around my partner, but like. oh my god?

literally how does anyone live like this and not want to kill themselves. I had to get a zoloft script because i kept having mental breakdowns every sunday because I have to go back to fucking work and I never feel like I have enough time to do anything meaningful. by the time my brain is like, "ready" to work, its 9 pm and i have to get ready for bed in 2 hours.

I've contemplated getting my masters in teaching to be an art teacher, but I really wouldn't.. want to do that for the rest of my life? you don't really get days off if you need it, youre obligated to work outside of work hours just to get anything done, parents right now kind of suck, school admins also suck, curriculums are cutting art programs, and kids are also becoming so much more disengaged with art at younger ages.

with the state of everything I find it really hard not to just spiral into a depressive episode. I don't know what my future holds. Sure, I have my parents as a safety net now, but theyre approaching their 70s and arent going to be around for the majority of the rest of my life. what happens then? what happens when theyre gone and i have literally no other support beyond the little life i made for myself right now? i already feel like im not allowed to prioritize myself at the moment given my position in the household (full time consistent job that pays somewhat decent ((Decent being $16.75/hour lol)) for the area im in, im the one that can drive, im the one with the largest paycheck and most consistent hours). I can't really get days off at work if I wake up having a panic attack or even physical sickness. I'm supposed to just deal with it and clock in because we dont have enough people to cover last minute like that. And I'm someone with (honestly) debilitating stomach issues. I had to have an upper endoscopy and tests done which only yield so much if you don't follow up with an allergist, which I still have yet to do...

Currently I'm supposed to set up appointments for my dentist, an allergist, a cardiologist, and I need to contact my psych because my pharmacy told me my zoloft cant be refilled (second month on it btw lol).

so like. when the fuck am i supposed to have any kind of every to dedicate to a second part time job, my own fucking art business? the thing i want to be the most passionate about, i have no energy left for. I feel so wildly unsatisfied in my life right now because of this. I'm struggling. I'm struggling a lot and I wish i didn't have to work at all. I wish I could just have my art be my full time thing, but I dont have the audience nor the social media prowess to make that happen so quickly.

I'm tired. I'm fucking tired. everyone keeps saying "take care of yourself" or "self care" but jesus christ how am i supposed to when i cant even just work 4 days a week consistently because for whatever reason I'm the only person at my job that can do what i do? how am i supposed to practice self care when that self care would mean i quit my fucking job lol. i'm at such a loss and i feel like im just letting the time pass by like grains of sand in an hourglass. being torn between wanting to die and wanting to push through is a fucking insane feeling. all we do in life is struggle until we die and I'm finding it harder and harder to get over that kind of mental hurdle. every time i drive i have to fight the genuine intrusive thoughts of yanking the steering wheel to put myself in a ditch with my car just to give myself a couple weeks of a break.

I'm tired. And there's nothing i can do about it. how long can one weather a storm before getting lost at sea

[nasaparaiso]

school day ulit 📚🎒 went to school pretty early! hehe finally, after almost a week of non school day, i'm back at it again 🤩 my most awaited burst of energy huhuhu and prelims na! scaryyy

so! rating sa mga tests na tinake ko coming thru ..... 🫣

mapeh 7/10 - not hard nor easy, difficulty rlly depends if u reviewed or not! tho, manageable naman even without review, but would've been a no brainer exam if i had review 🫤

ap 8/10 - can survive even without reviewing. only got 2 mistakes, im satisfied with my score 🫶🏻

filipino 0/10 - super hirap wtf most of my answers galing sa kaklase, ewan lang namin kung tama 💀 tho! partly, im also accountable for my lack of knowledge about the exam kasi i did not review talaga 🥲

tle 9/10 - was able to answer all the questions and we were given a time to review before mag test 🤲🏻

math 5/10 - mahirap but i had fun answering kasi dinaan nalang namin sa spin the wheel AHAHAHA yung iba rin based on probs, yung iba galing sa kaklase 🤥

science 6/10 - was able to answer naman even tho on the spot ko inaral yung process, 50% of my answers were based on probs 😪 feel ko if i had more time to analyze the data, ma pe-perfect ko yung given 🫤

AYUNNN LANGGG for today! #prelims chika part 1, abangan ang part 2 👺

also ! while still at it, may recollection pala kami and nat mock test next week 🫡 busy days ahead kasi malapit na kami umalis sa school AHAHAHAHA grabe im scared for my whole life, once lang pala pwede mag fill out sa pre-registration ng litex, humss yung nilagay ko dun 😭 PLS stem girlie na po ako!!!! sana puwede pa palitan sa actual registration huhuhu magugulo na naman mga plano ko neto 😔

that wasn't me, that was patricia ☺️🤞🏻 eme huhuhu uncertain pa po ako nun. ngayon po, i've realized kung ano na talagang gusto kong gawin sa buhay ko, please, spare me!!!! 🧎‍♀️