#but im so far past it now that the idea of ever fully committing to it again? even yuckier

[douubles]

anyone else w gender weirdness ever just sit back and be like damn. Would b so so easy if I was just a girl

[kth1]

2021 Year in Review: kimtaehyunq

firstly and foremostly, i have been tagged --> @min-boongie​ @hobeah​ @taehyungq​ @minieggukie​ @gimbapchefs​ @jeonjcngkook​ & i think @kithtaehyung​ ?? i think that’s all? for right now? i’m sorry. thank you all for thinking of me and mentioning me among the hundreds of awesome creators out there! 

this is the Best of 2021 game // post your favorite or most popular posts from each month this year! 

unfortunately in my case, i reblog and sr far too often that i exceed a lot in each month. so seeking out “most popular” is very difficult for me and i refuse to do it. however, i managed to take the time and pick random favorites in each month to just briefly talk about them. 

one thing i noticed as i scavenged throughout my archive is that... i hadn’t realized how many works i actually have done. which is quite a lot! im surprised at myself for even committing so much time into content making, but i enjoy doing it. it’s something that currently makes me very happy even when this site sometimes makes me very frustrated. personally, i don’t think of my work as anything better than others. i just really enjoy creating. i know i offer a little bit of everything when it comes to content, and i fully appreciate all of the likes, reblogs, and follows that come because of it. i don’t think i ever expected to be here, indulging myself with bts content and giving out my own twist of things... but here i am!

i’m most grateful for just the overall community of bts, who i’ve had the honor of getting to meet and/or admire. gained friendships with mutual interests, shared works and thoughts over creating, and just the amazing support the majority of this community (and fandom) offers! it’s honestly closer than anything i have every been apart of (fan-wise) and that is quite special to me.

so enough of the chitchat, time for some works under the cut!

January

BBC GOGO Jimin Focus - 1.2k // this gifset honestly surprised me because i wasn’t able to get great quality for the frames. i really enjoy this song and i still remember how evil jimin was making a fun song into something... so deadly in the matter of his first verse. 

February

Comedy King Taehyung on BTS RUN Tennis - 1.2k // i remember how annoying coloring this gifset was because of all the greens. but the scene was hilarious -- still is imo! how did he of all people manage to get the ball stuck between the racket? please lol

March

Winter Package 2021 Taehyung looking as boyfriend as ever - 1.5k // the winter package 2021 content is filled with so many heart warming moments. this gifset hopefully captured the soft love that radiated from mr. taehyung. he’s just so fluffy here too. 

April

Black Ravens Fic - 1.1k // listen, i don’t think i need to even comment on this fic. it was an idea that has been eating at the back of my mind for some time and it eventually came out into words. to see so many supportive friends fall for this fic actually has made me so happy. i honestly never expected to have the reactions i gained from putting this fic out into the world. 

May

The Wings Tour: The Final behind the scenes Hobi - 482 // i really enjoyed this gifset and the colors. hobi has such pretty orangey hair and the arrows around him just look pretty. i wish i was able to gain more love for this gifset but it’s ok! hobi is loved by the many millions in the world! 

June

Maknae Line Airplane pt 2 gifset - 470 // this one actually sort of upset me. i’ve been vocal to a few friends about this gifset because of a certain situation in the past. i’ve moved on from it, accept the fate of it not getting the attention it deserves. but this gifset is still very pretty to me and i worked hard on it. so therefore it is my favorite post i did in june!

July

Remake One of your Old Gifsets | Tony Montana - 946 // this was actually a game where i needed to tag other giffers. i didn’t realize that it was going to blow up how it did, but im grateful for it! i really enjoy tony montana yoongi, his song and fit. when i remade this gifset i was so stunned with my growth from before to after. and even now, my giffing tactics have changed! (hopefully better)

August

Gifwar | Taekook edition - 1.2k // over time i started doing a little gifwar of taekook content with @/jeonjcngkook. it’s hilarious to do and always fun to gif a random piece of content. ofc i adore this set so much because of grammys 2020 taehyung and that blasted shirt!!! i love grammys 2020 tae so much that it’s the reason for my url to be my url! :D

September

Red Hair Taehyung - 962 // golly. i was inspired by @/jiminslight and their pink jimin gifset; so much that i made a red hair gifset of tae. i love how it came out and i started discovering that making larger gifsets are 1) quite hard but 2) very enjoyable! 

October

PTD on stage VMINKOOK - 1.5k // i just very much like this set. i think they performed wonderfully even though it was still an online concert, im sure they were missing ARMY so much. 

November

Blonde Taehyung - 992 // this was another set i had made @/kimtaegis because i felt like i failed misribly on the first gifset. i wanted to make it up to her. so as a surprise, i created this one in hopes to be better! also this was a time where i tried making the gifs a little bit more darker than i usually go and it turned out pretty imo! 

December

Boyfriend Vibes Yoongi - 1.4k // honestly, have no clue how so many people enjoyed this gifset so fast. when i saw this scenes in the behind the scenes content i was like “oh wow, i need to gif yoongi and look at him right here! he’s so cool!” and just went ahead and giffed it. i really enjoy seeing the love people have to all the members, but especially seeing the love for mr. min. <3

ok, that took a lot. And hopefully tumblr doesn’t mess up my tags or formatting... because this site is dying :( anyways. thank you all who have supported me and supported bts! i will tag a few other creators down below if they wish to participate! and if you already did this game, i apologize in advance!

tagging: @honsool​ @jung-koook​ @taeyungie​ @taee​ @amourtae​ @kkulmoon​ @y93​ @sopev​ @taeunwoo​ @sugajimin​ @suga-ssi​ @jimimn​ @rainycle​ @filmsout​ @jiminswn​ @hyunsung​ @taetheists​ @chopper​ @blooodsweatandtears​ @loverjimin​ @tcehyungs​ @scokjinkim​ 

[ssamie]

six. “friends die together”

kozume kenma x fem dazai!reader

(bsd x hq)

tw: mentions of suicide 

masterlist.           suicide freak!

kenma slowly opened his eyes. the dim rays of the sun were slowly peeking through his bedroom window as he stretched and rolled around his bed, wrapping himself up in a blanket burrito as he felt his eyes slowly fluttering close once again. 

it had been atleast a week since he's actually gotten sleep, and now he's just trying to relish in the feeling of rest before he completely disregards it again. 

all of a sudden, his phone rang. 

"what the.." he mumbled with a groan 

it was currently five in the morning, and he knew kuroo was smart enough not to call him. especially since kenma would usually just be gaming or would just straight up ignore him. 

"hello?" he muttered to the phone, not bothering to check the ID 

"good morning!" y/n's chirpy la-di-da voice resonated from the phone 

immediately, kenma groaned and rolled his eyes. he had to fight the urge of hanging up the phone then and there. 

"what do you want? and why are you calling me so early in the morning?" kenma asked 

"now, now! don't be so stingy kenma-kun!" she laughed "i just wanted to check up on ya, that's all" she said, followed by soft humming of a melody 

kenma blinked as he groggily listened to her words. "oh. okay.." 

"thanks for that, i guess.." he said 

"aww! your voice is all deep and gravelly in the morning! very hot." she chirped 

kenma sighed. he could practically sense the stupid flirty smile appearing on her face. "and you sound oh so happy. as always." kenma chirped back sarcastically

a small smile grazed his lips as she started laughing on the other line. 

"oh, kenma! you're so funny!" she chuckled "when have i ever been happy?" 

"wait what-" 

"anyways, kenma-kun.." she trailed off, her cheerful tone now dropped as an eerily serious and guarded one replaced it. 

"y-yes?" kenma gulped 

"im afraid im in a tight spot as we speak. its quite critical. please come to the location i will send you." she spoke in a monotonous tone 

"huh? wait!" kenma exclaimed. he sat up on his bed, subconsciously reaching for his nekoma jacket which was messily laid out on the foot of his bed. "what are you talking about?" he asked, his hands were shaking, as well as his voice. 

"its a crisis! only you can help!" she said 

"okay. i-i'll be there.." 

humming under her breath, y/n patiently waited for kenma to arrive. she didn't have so much faith at first, but once she heard the soft thumping of feet on the ground, she grinned. 

"w-what happened?" kenma asked through ragged breaths as he skidded to a halt infront of her "a-and what are you wearing?" kenma asked 

he took notice of her rather formal attire, laying underneath the sand colored coat she had. his brows then shot up as he calmed his ragged breathing. 

"is this because of your weird detective work thing? did you get trapped?" kenma asked worriedly. when she didn't answer, he simply panicked even more. "why did you call me?! you should've called those other detective people!" kenma exclaimed 

"i got in myself" she admitted with a small innocent smile 

"what?" kenma deadpanned, now starting to regret running atleast eight blocks just to help her 

"well, you see.. i heard there's a way to commit suicide by getting stuck in an oil drum. so i decided to give it a shot" she said with the same innocent smile. she then chuckled sheepishly as she started sinking deeper into the oil drum. 

"but now that i've wedged myself in this deep, i can't get out on my own" she said 

kenma simply stared her down, looking unamused, tired and annoyed. "i see." he says 

"i think i might die" she pouted as she sank deeper into the drum. 

kenma grunted and sat on the ground, sitting a few feet from the drum she was stuck in. he was kind of impressed on how her whole body hadn't snapped in two yet. 

"well, isn't that what you wanted?" kenma said with a huff of annoyance 

"i like suicide" she said with a scoff, sounding somewhat offended "but i don't like suffering and pain! why would i?" 

"i see" kenma said with a sigh. he sat up from the ground and narrowed his eyes, trying to look for a way to free her from the oil drum

"also, i learned this only after i stuffed myself in here, but it wasn't even a suicide method!" she laughed 

"but, it was actually a torture method from the-" 

before she could even finish her sentence, she was cut off as kenma pushed the oil drum over, sending her and the drum rolling off. he let out a huge breath of air as he cradled his aching hands. 

"ni-nice job, kenma-kun" she squeaked out as she wiggled free of the drum. "but now.. we have only an hour left before school starts" she said as she patted down her clothes and combed her fingers through her hair 

"and i heard from nekomata-san that he has some news that you boys would surely love" she said as she stretched her aching muscles 

"are we really gonna move past the fact that you wedged yourself in an oil drum!?" kenma exclaimed in aggravation 

". . ." she looked at him with a dumb smile before sending him a wink and a thumbs up. 

"yep! we sure are!" 

"i hate you so much" kenma muttered 

she smirked teasingly and loomed over his shoulder "hehehe~ well if you hate me so much, then why go through all the trouble to help me?" she cooed 

kenma scoffed and flicked her away. "because we're.." he trailed off "nevermind.." a small blush covered his cheeks faintly, but it was enough to get her attention. 

she chuckled lowly and poked his cheeks. she narrowed her eyes and tauntingly stared him down. "oya? what's this, kenma-kun? do you like me or something?~" she teased 

kenma flinched and covered his cheeks with his hands "no! no i don't!" he quickly denied "i just thought that.." he muttered quietly

"since we're friends and all.. i thought it'd be right to help you.." kenma admitted bashfully 

stunned from his words, she couldn't really do anything but stare at him blankly with widened eyes. "we're friends?" she asked 

kenma spluttered at her response, suddenly feeling anxious and embarrassed, thinking that he overstepped their 'relationship' 

"um- i mean.. i just thought that since we've been hanging out but.." kenma said nervously. he fiddled with his hands as he looked down at his feet, too embarrassed to look her in the eyes. 

"sorry, i guess i overstepped. sorry for misreading things" he apologised 

finally realising what she's done, she gasped in horror as she looked at his heartbroken expression  "oh my gosh." she muttered "im so sorry!" 

she frantically patted his back, and stroked his hair "i-i meant like- i didnt know you considered me as a friend!" she exclaimed  "i kind of thought you just see me as a suicidal leech or something!" she shrieked 

"im sorry kenma! kill me now!" she exclaimed dramatically 

kenma finally looked up to see her tearing some of her bandages off, only for her to tie it tightly around her neck. 

"im sorry!" she cried as she squeezed tightly, trying to strangle herself to death 

"wait! don't do that!" kenma said in panic. his hands pried the bandages off and hastily threw them away. 

"you don't have to kill yourself over me" kenma sighed 

she sniffled and crushed him in her arms "kenma! you are most certainly my most treasured friend!" she cried 

"i would die for you and with you!" 

"let's not go too far" kenma said with a small smile 

"shall we start with the double suicide now?" she asks, fully ignoring his interjection 

"no <3" 

"fukurodani?" she muttered, looking quite confused and clueless 

"yes. it seems a three-day practice match has been scheduled" nekomata said with a smile  "their coach suggested the idea and who was i to decline, am i right?" nekomata chuckled 

"this will be a good opportunity for the team to train and explore new ways of playing for future tournaments." nekomata then looked at y/n and sent her a close eyed smile. "and a chance for you to test your managing skills, y/n-san" he said 

she nodded in agreement. 

"well then, now that that's settled.. you’re free to go! rest up and eat well! you'll be playing nonstop starting tomorrow" nekomata said as he ushered them out of the gym 

"thanks, coach!" the team yelled 

as the team arrives by the gate, they started to disperse. fukunaga, inouka, teshiro, and shibayama ended up declining the offer of an afterschool hangout. they claimed they needed the rest for upcoming games, so they left them be. 

"bye guys! bye y/n-senpai! see you tomorrow!!" inouka yelled from across the street. the energetic first year was waving both his arms around while shibayama drags him along. fukunaga sends them a quick nod and a small wave before they completely disappear from sight. 

"hm, so what do you guys wanna do?" kai asks with a smile 

"let's eat!" lev suggested with a grin 

"sure. where should we go? i don't really have a particular craving right now" kai said as he looked at his friends expectantly 

"we should eat at the diner near that convenience store" yaku says "it's cheap and they serve great food" 

simply humming to herself, y/n takes a quick look at the boys who seemed to be lost in their own conversations. her (e/c) colored eyes then landed on kenma, who seemed to busy with his game. 

kuroo was holding on his bag, making sure the pudding-head wouldn't walk into oncoming traffic. she smiled at the boy, taking in his overwhelmingly beautiful features. 

yamamoto was beside her, ranting about his friends from karasuno and their 'goddess of a manager' 

"we’re here!" lev unnecessarily announced as he skipped into the said diner.  "what should we eat?" he asks 

"fish-" ; "meat-" 

yaku and kuroo freeze and look at each other. their eyes silently roam one another as they look at the other with judgment. 

"hah? are we really doing this again, yakkun?" kuroo scowled. the taller bedheaded male leaned down to get all up in yaku's face, while the latter simply did the same 

"dont call me that stupid nickname, bedhead!" yaku scowled as well "and fish? pssh, what are you a grandpa?" yaku said with a snicker 

"could you stop making comments proving you lack docosahexaenoic acid?" kuroo sneered in aggravation 

"you're ought to eat more fish to fix that.. maybe even your height problem!" kuroo taunted 

yaku scowled and gripped the taller boy's collar "your stupid face is begging to be hit!" 

"no! kuroo-san, don't let him hit you!" lev yelled "he's feral!" 

"oi! shut up!" taketora hissed as he covered lev's mouth with his hand 

yaku turned to face lev, evidently irked and angered by his comment. "hah?! come here, you tall lampost! -" 

"wah! yaku-san i didnt even do anything!" lev exclaimed with teary eyes as the shorter boy continued to kick him 

kai and taketora then took initiative to calm their friends down. partially because they didn't want anyone injured. but mostly because they were fighting infront of the diner, and it was starting to get embarrassing. 

"ke-n-ma~" she cooed in a sing song tone 

kenma sighed and quickly glanced at her, before averting his attention back to his game "what?" he said 

she smiled and laced their arms together. she then pointed to a bridge not so far away from where they were standing. "you see that bridge?" she asked "and the pretty river under it?" 

"oh god. i see where this is going." kenma groaned. he turned off his game and followed her finger, eyeing the bridge she was talking about. 

"wouldn't it be so nice if we just jump off-" 

"how about we don't do that?" kenma cut her off with a sigh 

"but you're my friend right?" she whined childishly "don't friends die together?!" 

"how about we don't die at all. doesn't that sound better?" kenma tried to convince her with a sheepish smile 

her smile fell as she narrowed his eyes, seemingly disgusted and offended by his statement. 

"what? no, not at all." 

[sokkas-honour]

For the Spotify wrapped, could you do 12 and Korra?

ofc i can! hope you like it :)

run the world!! - korra x reader

paring: korra x fem!reader

wc: 3k

summary/notes: i tend to try and my reader inserts as gn as possible but this one is female. it doesn’t fully relate to the song but i tried.

taglist: @biqherosix @draqondance

so pessimistic, so narcissistic, so cynical, welcome to my own little world.

part two

“so y/n, what do you think of us going to seingi’s after the game? you could meet our new teammate!” bolin approached you as soon as you came out of your slot in the gym with your pro bending team, the red sands rabaroos.

“i don’t have a game tonight bo.” you chuckled, wiping the sweat off of your forehead from your intense training session. you loved seeing the excitement on your best friends face whenever he mentionned his mysterious new teammate.

“mako and i do! don’t you want to watch us beat the zebra frogs?” he insisted, flashing his signature green pleading eyes that always made you cave.

“all right big guy, i’m down.” you gave in and patted his shoulder before you made your way down the hallway to lockerooms in order to change. right as you made the right turn you heard him yell out a ‘yes’ and pictured him punching his fist up in the air. you rolled your eyes and smiled at the idea of the other earth bender doing such but he was your best friend after all, what did you expect?

a couple of hours later after you’d gone home, showered and switched into more casual attire, you found yourself back at the probending arena though now a crowd had formed on the steps as everyone waited for the doors to open. you scanned the crowd and spotted a couple of people having fire ferret signs which made you smile.

you made your way through said crowd and up the stairs only to be met with a slightly smaller crowd of people trying to get the guard, rahaar, to let them in early to see their favorite team the game started. you chuckled slightly at their lousy attempts which guard rahaar’s attention.

“y/n!” he smiled as you pushed your way to the front and greeted him. “come on right in, enjoy the game!”

you thanked him and quickly slithered into the building so that he wouldn’t have to knock down anyone who tried to get in, and thankfully for him, no one did. though you were sure a couple of them complained at the fact that you’d just been able to enter like that. what could you say? they were the pros of being a pro bender.

you took your time to make your way to where you friends were, prepping themselves for the game in the gym and you had guess right as you heard the two brothers arguing.

“where is she?” you heard mako’s voice first as you approached the door and knocked.

“see mako, she’s there!” you could hear the smile in bolins voice as someone’s footsteps came to open the door to let who they thought was their new teammate in.

“sorry to disappoint but i’m not your new teammate.” you awkwardly joked as you met eyes with mako who raised his eyebrow at your presence as he stood next to the door.

“y/n! you’re here!” bolin exclaimed excitedly from behind his older brother.

“bo invited me to join you, your new teammate and him for dinner after the game so i figured i’d see the second best pro bending team play.” you explained as a response to seeing makos slightly confused expression which he nodded to and his face went back to his usual stoic and neutral expression.

“second best?” bolin inquired, placing his hands on his hips as he smirked.

“yeah, second best.” you confirmed, crossing your arms and defying him with your gaze.

“well y/n, we’ll see about that when we play each other in two weeks.” mako joined in on the playful rivalry and you nodded, agreeing to see exactly which of your teams was better.

“two weeks, hope you fire ferrets will be ready to pay for dinner at narook’s in order to celebrate my victory.” you proposed a bet which immediately made the innocent rivalry sound a bit more interesting. you extended your hand to bolin who was now in front of you, intending for him to shake on it as soon as he heard the mention of a paid dinner.

“you’re on!” bolin immediately agreed and place his hand on yours and you both shook on it.

“this is great and all but it doesn’t change the fact that we’re still missing a player and doors open in ten.” mako interrupted your intense playful gazes to alert bolin of the awkward situation they were in.

“shit, doors open in ten? i should go now if i want to go to the bathroom and get popcorn without a line.” mako raised an eyebrow once again at your strange way to exit but it sounded about right, it was you of course, you always had weird priorities. he had hoped you’d maybe take the time to help them figure out what to do but he knew it wasn’t your job to help them, hell, if anything you shouldn’t because one, you were on rival teams and two, realistically you couldn’t do anything.

“make sure you get good seats so you can see how just how much we’ll crush you!” bolin called as you left the gym. you give him a thumbs up in the air, not bothering to turn around.

a false commitment, oh, i never listened

you found a nice spot not too far from the platform after you’d gotten your popcorn. you munched on it as you watched the seats slowly fill, face scrunching up whenever you see someone wearing non fire ferret merch.

you knew they were going to win, they always did, at least with their old teammate, hasook. you hadn’t bothered to listen to their matches from home so you were going in blind.

you would never really admit to never listening to your friends matches, you just didn’t see the point in listening in on the competition, it’s useless. you need to see in front of you in order to study their tactics.

bolin didn’t know that when he invited you to come see their match, you had already planned to come in order to see how much of a rookie their new teammate was, it was kind of an opportunity for you to feel a bit better about your team, as awful as that sounds. one of your teammates had told you that they’d heard of a new waterbender on the fire ferrets that practice before seeing your friend.

you shoved popcorn into your mouth as the lights dimmed and the announcer’s voice boomed throughout the entire stadium. you quickly swallowed in order to cheer when they announced the fire ferrets. the people seated around you didn’t seem to enjoy your cheering for the newer team but at the same time, you didn’t enjoy their cheering for the opposite team.

you leaned in as you saw the three benders in red be brought to the stage and your eyes widened when they landed on the one with the blue rope. she wasn’t small by any means, you couldn’t see her face but just by her stance you could tell she was beautiful.

suddenly, you didn’t even look at your friend’s techniques as they played like they always did in order to give them criticism, no, you couldn’t take your eyes off of the water tribe girl.

you were sure it was only her second or third game but the way she moved made it seem like pro bending was something she’d been practicing for ages. god you wished this game would wrap up so you could meet her.

and im just a problem, and no one's ever solved it,

they announced the fire ferrets win and that’s when you snapped out of your trance, your popcorn long forgotten as you watched the waterbender move around confidently and knocking down her opponents.

little by little, people left their seats and exited the arena all while chatting up a storm about how the game went. you found yourself a part of that crowd up until a certain point where you turned in an opposite direction to see your friends.

you waited for them to exit as you leaned on the wall thinking of how to introduce yourself to the girl that had caught your attention.

“well y/n, impressed yet?” mako was the one to take you out of your thoughts as you looked up at him a smirk quickly making it onto your face.

“honestly no, your form was sloppy.”

“uh huh, sure, i’m totally taking firebending advice from an earth bender.” he rolled his eyes sassily, making sure to emphasise his and your bending.

“you’re taking advice from someone who dated a firebender mister.” you retorted, referring to your past lovers.

before he could reply, bolin came out with a girl as they talked about the game. bolin stopped in his tracks when he saw you and smiled.

you turned your head and mentally, your draw dropped. she was even prettier in person. she was a bit taller than you, her biceps accentuated by her water tribe getup, she had her hair in a traditional ponytail and her blue eyes held nothing but excitement that lingered from the game.

“not a bad game for a rookie.” was the first thing you said to her, making you want to slap your forehead at how dumb that sounded.

“not sure if that’s supposed to be a compliment.” she rose an eye brow as she made eye contact with you. you had to control yourself in order not to blush and break your usual cool composure.

“y/n here doesn’t really give compliments, sorry korra.” bolin jokily informed his teammate earning an arm crossing from you as an attempt to not let the girl see how she made you feel by just standing in front of you.

“then thanks i suppose.” was what she settled with and almost instantly, your mind made a connection with her name, korra. as in avatar korra. as in the newcomer to republic city.

“you guys didn’t tell me the avatar was apart of your team.” you ignored korra’s response, the question being aimed at the brothers.

“it was in the papers.” mako stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“as if i read the papers mako my boy.” you replied, taking a step closer to him, making sure to match your tone which earned a small blush on the firebender’s cheeks which was exactly what you wanted to do.

“yeah, i’m the avatar, big deal. let’s go eat.” korra seemed to get annoyed at your interaction with the firebender, making you cock an eyebrow in confusion. don’t tell me she likes mako was the only thing on your mind as you all nodded.

“wait, she’s coming too?” korra asked as she saw you follow them once you all stepped outside. the boys nodded which earned a little huff from the avatar. your happiness dimmed a bit at the thought of her not wanting to spend time with you, oh well, she’d have to deal with it.

oh, i don't think that i could be the one that you want me to be, its hard for me sometimes to see the light inside my love, i, i, i, i, want to run the world, the world, the world, the world

you all sat around a table at seingi’s, the closest firenation restaurant to the arena. it was surprisingly empty for a friday night. you stared at the menu trying to figure out what you wanted.

“i’m going to get the extra spicy fire noodles.” korra was the first one to announce what she was getting. she put the menu back on the table and waited for everyone to announce theirs.

“you sure you’ll be able to handle that?” you questioned, not bothering to look away from the menu. you knew your question infuriated her, god, you really did suck at flirting.

“if you hadn’t notice yet, i’m also a firebender. so yeah, i think i can handle my spice.” she had seemed to take offense to your question which made you laugh a bit.

“whatever you say miss avatar.” you rolled your eyes with a playful grin as you lowered your menu. you wanted to laugh at the offended expression on her face but you held it in this time, you still wanted her to like you.

“okay well i’m taking the same as korra.” mako announced in an attempt to break up whatever was going, afraid that korra’s short temper would act up to your snarky comments.

“i am too. how about you y/n.” all three of them were taking the spicy noodles. you were originally going to take them as well but that changed once everyone did as well.

“i’m taking the roast duck.” you announced, finally putting down the menu. korra rolled her eyes which confused you.

“you’ve got a problem with that avatar?” you questioned, a smirk making its way onto your face. if your presence seemed to annoy her, then by the spirits were you going to have fun with it. mako knew exactly what you were doing, he’d seen you do it before and knew that your flirting always seemed to dig yourself into a hole that was impossible to get out of.

“no, just confused as to why you’re still here. this is a team celebratory dinner.” she explained, her eyes narrowing you.

“i’m the honorary team member sweetheart. i-" before you could finish your explanation, you felt bolin kick in you in the shin from in front of you.

you hadn’t noticed mako that was seated next to you and bolin, who was in front of you, were secretly communicating to try and break up whatever fight that could happen. you were too engrossed in the beautiful avatar to notice.

“y/n’s our friend and we haven’t had dinner together in a while.” bolin explained after laughing nervously. korra nodded before looking over to mako to discuss his winning play.

everyone participated in the conversion but you. sure you listened but you couldn’t tear your eyes off of korra, wether she was speaking or not. the passion, the excitement and the love in her gaze and words as she spoke to the brothers about the game made you jealous, spirits did you wish she would talk that way to you.

you barely knew her and she didn’t seem to particularly love you but you wanted to be her entire world after just one look at her.

i’m never honest, i'm faking all this

dinner had gone on without much noise from you, which definitely raised suspicions for the two brothers. korra didn’t seem to care or notice so when she got up to go to the bathroom, their attention immediately went to you.

“is everything alright y/n?” bolin asked you, concern written all over his face.

“yeah, just a bit tired is all.” you lied, not wanting them to catch on that korra was filling your thoughts.

“you sure?” mako insisted, placing a hand on your shoulder. you nodded and looked away. you spotted korra and her smile dropped when mako placed his hand on your shoulder.

“yeah. can i finish your noodles?” you attempted to switch the subject, batting your eyelashes at mako in an exaggerated manor. he laughed and switched your dishes.

you danced a little bit in your seat and teased the broth before you ate the noodles, still warm.

“really? you’re still hungry? that duck was huge.” korra commented once she came back to her seat.

“i’m just making sure we don’t waste any money.” you started matter of factly which earned what was probably the fifth eye roll of the night from the avatar.

once again, mako and bolin steared the conversation in another direction to avoid any conflict. this time though, you made sure you were heard.

once dinner was over and you had all stepped out, korra approached you and your heartrate picked up.

“see? told you i could handle the spice.” she teased which came as a surprise to you, she hadn’t said anything particularly friendly to you all evening but you hadn’t either.

“master of four elements, master of all foods.” you joked, shoving your hands in your pockets. she chuckled at your words and suddenly, it was your favourite sound in the world.

Just point those fingers, cause i could never be hurt.

bolin accompanied korra to the docks so she could head back to air temple island and mako walked you back to your appartement.

“you suck at flirting y/n.” was the first he said when the others had left.

“and you’re better than me? mister i don’t show emotions?” you replied as you started walking, not wanting him to bring up anything that happened during dinner.

“please, i managed to get you.” he teased, jogging to catch up to you.

“you managed to take me on one date.” you corrected him, not taking your eyes off of the road in front of you.

“same difference.” he rolled his eyes.

“she likes you.” a small silence had settled and you decided to break it.

“who, korra? please, the bickering between the two of you was filled with sexual tension.” he teased, gently bumping his shoulder into yours.

“nah, she looked at you a certain way. besides, i don’t like miss prissy avatar.”

“you know y/n, that dinner was the first time i’ve seen you not try to the center of attention during dinner. and you have no room to call her prissy when you tend to be no better.”

“believe me, i could care less. i was just tired.” you stopped walking as you had arrived in front of your apartment building.

“i know you like her and, a word of advice, don’t be too cynical with her like you’ve been with basically all of your exes. korra isn’t the type of girl to let that slide.” he said before bidding you goodbye and retracting his steps.

you processed his words as you went up the stairs. he was right but you’d never admit it.

you went to your window that faced air temple island and just stared at it, hoping that korra had gotten home safe.

unbeknownst to you, korra was looking out of her window and staring at the apartments, hoping that one of them was yours.

[sakkac]

re: fumetsu no anata e as of chapter 139.2

this started as a response to @bestbonnist​‘s post on chapter 139.2 but now i’m just dissecting differences and similarities between tonari, mizuha, and kahak like im writing an essay for a uni class. i interchangeably use he/they pronouns for fushi and my writing may be clumsy (bc im not actually writing for uni ❤️).

mizuha is a broken mirror to tonari (and kahak a foil to the two aforementioned) in this modern-day arc, especially in their expressions of love for fushi. tonari’s love for fushi is aged over hundreds of years and mizuha’s, at first glance, is an infatuation just based on how long they’ve known each other. im the biggest kahak stan ever, but even i understand kahak’s love started as an infatuation for parona’s form. though, i’d consider the word infatuation compromised when it comes to defining mizuha’s love, bc u cant be sure if her love for fushi is entirely her own, seeing as it had been passed from generation to generation of guardians.

(chapter 134, read right to left)

tonari and mizuha aren’t that different once you look deeply into the both of them. mizuha’s personality and actions are factors in tonari’s dislike of her, but what ultimately repels tonari from mizuha is that she knows they’re similar, and that manifests most clearly in how she reacts to fushi being with mizuha. i.e. resenting fushi for using her friends’ vessels to help their “love life” in chapter 135.5. she can’t stand mizuha bc mizuha is able to express her love for fushi and fushi does not reject (or accept) it; tonari still hasn’t fully admitted to herself that she likes fushi romantically (perhaps because she can’t separate it from the devotion that led her to harden her body to poisons and to promise her corpse to rest at fushi’s feet), so seeing mizuha appear to progress further than she has irritates her. as for kahak, tonari only has the biases of the other pseudo-immortals and her own of past hayase reincarnations to rely on. (this is not as plot-related, but these two also both like books. kahak read tonari’s fushi book, so i wish they actually met, but in a world where tonari didnt hate hayase beyond death.)

tonari as a child seemed like she thought herself superior to others, perhaps a natural result of her upbringing. she was raised on a prison island, but she herself never committed any crime; banding together w other kids like her, writing about her life in her book (which keeps her separate from or above others in a way). but this thinking ceases at her relationship w fushi. however, i believe this started before they even met. tonari’s childhood dream at seven years old was to write a book her father would be impressed by. she also used to believe in god, while her family was still whole. she even prayed to god when he decided to participate in the tournament in chapter 35. however, she stops referring to god by the time her father had shown tarnish. coincidentally, she meets fushi, who would “upend everything... jeannanda and [her] fate.” she ends up, instead of writing for her father, writing a book to allow a peaceful existence for fushi for whenever they decided to come back. this act shows that the adult tonari has written fushi to a level above her, out of her reach. 

(chapter 35)

here i’ll quote ray’s words about kahak and tonari: “she also has a surprising amount in common with Kahaku, too, with the ‘I want to protect you even if you disagree.’” the way tonari had waited and honed her body for fushi resembles kahak’s attachment; she had finished living for herself, so now she was only allowing herself to live to further create an ideal vessel for fushi (which also brings up one of hayase’s goals). the difference is that kahak lived for fushi because, as raikkousaki said, fushi was the only thing he was “ALLOWED to live for.” however, while tonari is unquestionably devoted to fushi now, what pulled her to him was black hood’s coercion. as a result of black hood’s words to her, she manipulated fushi into helping her solve her problems, to save her from the island. this first “meeting” also revealed that she was attracted to their white hair; she later admits that she admires their fair skin, contributing to the idea that she could view fushi as the equivalent of a god or at the least, a vision of purity (which is :/ imo, bc of her dark skin). we should also keep in mind that, this, technically her first impression of fushi, and his later display of violent immortality in the arena would further his image as a “legend.” 

mizuha was exposed to fushi’s immortality and reveres him like tonari and kahak respectively do and did. instead of the specific word “legend,” it’s “immortal monster.” her first formal exposure to fushi’s fabled power was not unlike tonari’s, since mizuha had went into her grandfather’s library and read on fushi in chapter 124.1. after this, she manipulates fushi to save her, again paralleling the beginning of tonari’s relationship with fushi, but it’s from her overbearing mother and herself. both tonari and mizuha forced their problems onto fushi, but mizuha doesn’t have black hood stepping in front of her saying “you must lead him.” instead, she may have been influenced by the left hand, but i believe mizuha’s thoughts are majorly her own (left hand lies in wait within mizuha’s consciousness like a predator), and what they appear to say is that she’s leading fushi until he decides to follow her willingly. as for kahak, we only have a few pages on his childhood and what we can make of it and of his actions as an adult is that he was willing to follow fushi wherever they went, until left hand betrayed them both.

mizuha’s superiority complex comes from a different place than young tonari’s; she was a prestigious child from young, in addition to her fear of her uniqueness fading as she aged. this caused her to feel separate from other children. when she meets fushi, she sees how different he is from everyone else and uses subtle ways to keep him with her, while never directly admitting she wants him to stay with her, except for ch 125′s “i’m scared. stay with me tonight,” after her mother’s sudden murder. she usually uses excuses instead, like cutely demanding fushi to walk with her after school and go on dates with her.

(chapter 36 vs. chapter 128.2)

as fushi was introduced to the people around tonari and mizuha, they received similar reactions, i.e. “your hair is so pretty!” and “woah, his hair is white!” in the pages following these, the similarities continue into tonari and mizuha gaining ownership over fushi: in ch 36 oopa declares “tonari found him. so he belongs to tonari,” while the islanders try to get on fushi’s good side, and in ch 128 fushi goes out of their way to ask which club mizuha belongs to when asked to join a club (vocalizing her claim on them so she doesn’t have to directly do so).

(chapters 38, 106, and 139)

when the opening comes for mizuha to actually admit her feelings in chapter 139, she tries, but demands instead, “so... love me.” this recalls kahak’s confession to kai in 105.3, that he wants to “protect fushi’s humanity.” kahak and mizuha were both covered in blood when they spoke, but the atmospheres and characters are different; mizuha is clever w her words, but still too immature to let go of her pride, whereas kahak was the exact opposite. he rid of himself of his pride for fushi when he was a child, but said a lot of the wrong things to fushi when it came down to it. additionally, mizuha, when she wants something, she’ll phrase her words so that it seems like there’s only one choice: to follow her. this has been the case for others including fushi (chapters 120.2′s testing of hanna with “if i died, would you cry for me?” and 132.1′s “i’ll teach you about love” and the following guilt-trip). tonari is more direct with her words and meaning than either mizuha or kahak, bc of her personality. she directly confronts fushi when she realizes he had felt betrayed by her in chapter 38, because she still needed him for his plans. but mizuha is more direct with her actions; in chapter 129.1, she latches herself onto fushi, while trying to get information out of him. after the failed marriage proposal, rather than physically attaching himself to fushi like mizuha, kahak used acts of domesticity and protection to subtly appeal to and maintain his space next to them.

(chapter 38 vs chapter 139)

tonari’s “there are people in this world who are better off dead” above isn’t far from the knockers’ reasoning behind “wishing for death is paramount to being dead” and the reason for mizuha’s mother’s death: left hand decided to “eliminate the cause of [mizuha’s breaking point’s] stress.” what this shows is that tonari can also justify murder, though granted, this is from a hundred chapters ago. however, this black and white thinking comes back in the modern era where tonari holds prejudice against mizuha because of her relation to hayase. tonari knows her dislike of mizuha is unfair, she can’t get around it. tonari is still as prideful as she was when she lived on jeannanda; it’s just that she is able to use fushi to justify her opinions now. i also want to bring up mizuha’s reaction to her mother’s death and funa’s knocker’s “purging and guidance.” mizuha seems comfortable with the sight of death, despite having a more normal childhood than tonari, because her actual main concern overwhelms it; she is always thinking on how she can appeal to fushi (almost like kahak), or in other words, how to salvage her pride. so instead of being concerned over being the actual murderer, she is concerned with appearing as a murderer to fushi.

so to actually answer ray’s question, objectively, tonari’s love is as excessive as kahak and mizuha’s. but personally, i think tonari’s love for fushi right now is also unhealthy, though it comes out of good will. kahak’s love also ended in fushi’s benefit, but it was undoubtedly unhealthy. and ofc, mizuha’s love is also unhealthy; she reaches for fushi for perfection, tonari reaches for fushi for humility.

[mightbewriting]

So I came to W&H and B&E in an odd way. I'm a long time Dramione fic reader who like many of us doubled down on in 2020 to find comfort in a bananas year. I kept seeing W&H on everyone's rec list, but for whatever reason kept putting it off. Then I heard about the prequel and decided to wait for that to be finished, read it, then do W&H. But once it was finished, I saw you recommended W&H first so I was like okay I'll do that. I struggle with impulse control but am trying to do better so when I saw the audiobook for W&H I was like perfect, I'll listen rather than read that way I won't gobble it up in a day. Ha well that did not work, I listened to the first 3 chapters (at that time those were the only chapters they had recorded) then instantly ran not walked to A03, reread said chapters, then continued on. At Chapter 4 of W&H, I thought hmm maybe I'll read them simultaneously. I continued that way maybe through Chapter 13 of B&E and Chapter 7ish then fully committed to W&H first. I cannot imagine reading these fics in real time because reading them in full, back to back was the most intense glutenous binge and it's taken over my life in the best way. I have been living in your fictional universe for the past two weeks. I started a list of all the parallels and callbacks and eventually had to call it because they are innumerable. I'm awed. In literal awe. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Your writing - the individual words of your vast vocabulary, the way you string said words together into hilarious, heart breaking, heart stopping, beautiful, and visceral feelings is astounding. It's hard to explain but even good writers (and/or an intriguing plot) sometimes do not create an overall immersive feeling. But the feelings your words evoke are all encompassing and truly universe building. Like it's not just the wording or the plot or the charters but all of it together come to make something even greater than the sum of their parts. Your writing, your universe of W&H, S&S, and B&E live in my mind and heart and in an embarrassing amount of screenshots of passages on my phone and in voice memos to myself as I don't have anyone irl to fan girl with. When I think of your words and the world you built, I'm reminded of a Taylor Swift lyric: "it cut deep to know you, right to the bone". That is how I'd describe your writing's effect on me, but in the best way.

Your brain's capacity to plot, plan, and flawlessly deliver W&H THEN B&E? Idk how you kept all the threads and plot points and moments and timelines in check. My head aches just thinking about how you wrote these stand-alone but also inextricable works of art. Like how does one's brain function in such a level? And it's especially telling in B&E because we knew where we were going but I still gasped, screamed, squealed, giggled, had to put my phone down, clutched it to my heart, fist pumped, stopped half way through just for a minute to breath and take it all in, and overall looked and acted as an utter idiot during each and every chapter because while I knew where we were going I also had no idea! I'm just floored you managed to keep us at the edge of our seats with a prequel? Who does that? You do!

The texts in the final chapter of W&H devastated me, literal chills. I think about that daily. It's exactly what H and we needed. Just like a reminder of what they went through. It reminded me of Chapter 41 of B&E. Like a summary of where they had been and where they are now.

The other thing that rattled in my brain is the motifs of choice and time, life kind of boils down to those two things huh? But choice especially. It's funny because choice is so prominent but at the same time how W&H and B&E give off soulmate vibes even though this is not a soulmate fic (also are the rumors true...?!) because despite time turners, breakups, and lost memories, they always come back together. But more on choice: it's just as Draco says - in a million scenarios he'll always choose her and he feels lucky she chose him just once. But of course with W&H, she does it twice. And she does it in both timelines of B&E, and of course that's the problem when Draco realizes he has not done the same hence heartbreak 1.0. And just god - he wants her to have a choice with the potion, a choice with her memories, and stops the timey wimey madness by realizing he's taking her choice (and in a way H started it by taking away his choice and leaving the first time). And then those parts about how he chose her, she chose him, but they could not chose each other. This motif, these callbacks. I'm flabbergasted. It's just hitting me now that you extend the choice to us as readers - we get to choose whether H get her memories back or not.

Theo in all your Wait and Hope universe, but especially S&S broke me. Blaise asking who is taking care of Theo when he's taking care of everyone else? Theo's literal and figurative demons? Yikes. Those were unpleasant looks in the mirror for me. I'm glad Theo has his Blaise. Where's mine haha? Also just shout to your underrated Blaise. The fact that he might be my favorite of the Slytherians in your stories says a lot since he doesn't say a lot haha. But he packs such a punch in all your works.

Okay, after singing your well deserved praises and fan girling and marveling at your works (god this is so long, I'm so sorry!), at long last my ask. I still cannot get this out of my head: what did Theo mean in Chapter 1 of B&E when he suggests to Draco “I know that. Maybe you could—tell her some of—” some of what? I zeroed in on this as soon as I read it and it's been rattling in my brain ever since.

um. hi? holy shit. i dont know how to process this. i am resisting the impulse to cringe away from the level of praise happening here because i really need to learn how to take a compliment but oh my god? i am not...this is just...wowzers. you are very literally too kind to me. i have melted into a puddle of feelings in my reading chair here. 

so, first things first: thank you. these are some of the nicest things i’ve ever heard about my writing and i can guarantee i will come back to this ask when I'm feeling like i suck and need a motivation boost. i can’t deny...it feels really nice to know that at least one person out there caught and appreciated some of the insane attention to detail i forced upon myself lol. so thank you. truly, thank you so much for saying such amazingly kind things that have short circuited my brain!

and im sure my friends at @etl-echo-audiobooks will be over the moon to know that their recording work was such a hit! your trajectory reading these stories is so fun and hilarious and probably the most unique reading experience i’ve heard so far xD

also, please be advised that your analysis on choice in these stories is probably going to live in my head rent free for the rest of my life. i feel seen, you know? you just...picked up what i was putting down and it feels really nice to know that it worked for you! 

and ok. your question. that little dash of ambiguity i was planning on leaving open ended. but let it be known i can be plied with compliments. i can’t just *not* give you something in return for such a lovely and kind and thoughtful dose of joy you had absolutely no obligation to give me today. 

so, in my mind, after draco’s house arrest ended and before he went abroad for his mastery, he and theo had an extensive (most likely drunken. also blaise was probably there too) night of reflection where they kind of just looked back at their childhoods and the war and the history of blood purity and just sort of went: “what the fuck?” i imagine draco probably confided in theo that when he went abroad, he planned to just try and pretend like none of it mattered, to see if that was really true. and draco probably kept him updated via owl (even though draco did not write enough and theo had feelings about that) so that by the time draco returned and we have theo asking that sort of trailing question, the implication at the end is “what if you told granger some of your realizations about it all?” so...not all that exciting? but there you have it!

in conclusion: thank you! you are too kind! i appreciate your thoughtful commentary SO much! i’m so happy you enjoyed these stories. and i hope the explanation of what theo was going to say wasn’t too underwhelming.

[justalitlecreacher]

Ok as much as I hate the events of the Rako Hardeen arc in Clone Wars and deeply wish that the council/Obi-Wan had at the very least told Anakin and Ahsoka what they were planning, I feel like the arc represents a very important turning point in Anakin’s fall and actually shows an important bit of character growth from Attack of the Clones.

Tl;Dr: The Rako Hardeen arc is my favorite and least favorite arc in all of Clone Wars because while it puts Anakin through unnecessary pain it also gives a lot of insight into why he may have fallen in Revenge of the Sith and shows some important character growth

Ok; the most important part of this post/analysis (I think) is to remember how close Anakin and Obi-Wan are. Anakin was placed in Obi-Wan’s care at the age of 9 and from then on Obi-Wan practically raised him. In Attack of the Clones we see Anakin refer to Obi-Wan as the closest thing he has to a father not once, but twice, and one of those two times was directly to Obi-Wan.”OBI-WAN:  Why do I think you are going to be the death of me?! ANAKIN:  Don't say that Master... You're the closest thing I have to a father... I love you. I don't want to cause you pain.”(Attack of the Clones) and later to Padmé “...He's [Obi-Wan] like my father,...”. This is especially important because when Anakin leaves his mother to become a Jedi in The Phantom Menace, Obi-Wan is literally the only friendly/familiar face in the Temple. Plus in the comics (disclaimer: I have not read all the comics just bits and pieces) we get a glimpse of Anakin training with the other padawans and it’s made clear that at least some of them don’t like Anakin at all. One padawan even refers to him as “just a slave” when shit talking him during training.(which like super fucked up; they def should’ve gotten in trouble cause that don’t seem very Jedi of them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Anyway; we’ve established Anakin and Obi-Wan’s bond. So let’s turn our attention towards someone who deserved so much better; Shmi Skywalker. Her death in Attack of the Clones was the first major turning point in Anakin’s fall to the Dark Side. There is really no excuse for Anakin’s actions after Shmi’s death; he goes to a very dark place, and likely taps into the dark side of the force during the massacre of the Tusken Raiders. But that’s not what we’re talking about rn so back on track.

I bring Shmi’s death up to say that while Anakin was tracking down Obi-Wan’s “murderer” I didn’t fully realize that Obi-Wan had disguised himself as Hardeen and I was genuinely worried that Anakin was about to unalive an innocent man. I really believe that the only thing that stopped Anakin from trying (and maybe succeeding) to kill Obi/Rako was like he said: he knew that Obi-Wan wouldn’t have wanted him to. This is important because the last time Anakin lost a family member he brutally murdered an entire village of Tusken Raiders, children included, and I think it’s safe to say that Shmi “the biggest problem in the universe is nobody helps each other” Skywalker would not have wanted that. I’ve finally arrived at one of my main points; this arc shows a crucial bit of character growth by showing an Anakin that is capable of thinking his actions through and not just reacting out of anger even after the loss of one of the most important people in his life; something he was previously shown incapable of when his anger and grief blind him. This turns this arc into an sort of midway point on Anakin’s fall; he’s clearly tempted to give into his anger and pain again, but he is able to resist this time. A younger Anakin may have killed “Hardeen” then and there. 

This scene really contrasts with Anakin’s actions in Revenge of the Sith in a way im not sure how i feel about yet. On one hand it has potential to make Anakin’s actions in Revenge of the Sith feel too out of character. We just saw Anakin able to see past his own emotions in the wake of the death of a loved one so what makes this different? On the other hand this arc can be used to show just how desperate Anakin is to not have to feel that way ever again. It’s also good for showing how much influence Palpatine has had on Anakin in the space between this arc and Revenge of the Sith. As for why Anakin may be unable to think past his own feelings in Revenge of the Sith when he appeared perfectly capable in the arc, a likely reason is that there really wasn't anything Anakin thought he could do for Obi-Wan anymore because he believed him to be dead, but with Padmé, Anakin knew she could be saved if he could just get her the proper care. But his fear of being exiled from the Jedi Order, and his increasing lack of faith in the council led him to believe that he had no choice other than to trust in Palpatine. And no hate to Yoda but im sure when Anakin did try to reach out (even as vaguely as he did) Yoda’s response of “Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” didn't appear to be very helpful (especially considering that he is well aware that listening to Ahsoka’s visions and responding appropriately saved Padmé’s life (not sure if Anakin knows about that though)). These three episodes show pretty well how/why Anakin may have felt that he had nowhere to turn but Palpatine.

These groups of episodes actually show negative character growth (is that the right term?) in Anakin. He goes from commiting mass murder rated E for everyone to understanding that his loved ones would not want him to seek revenge in this way, but then he backslides into this lightsaber is rated E for everyone by Revenge of the Sith. Logically he should know that Padmé would never have wanted him to do what he did; he has to know what he’s doing is wrong, but he’s incapable of seeing another way out because he cannot handle even the thought of losing Padmé. He’s too desperate to not lose her, and so sure that there’s no other option that he manages to convince himself that he needs to do this for her. I find this entire arc really interesting but unless i want to be here all day the most i can do here is point out that it exists and that it peaks in the Rako Hardeen arc. Surprisingly i do have a life outside of writing long posts, and i lack the time and energy to analyze all of Clone Wars and write about every event that led to Darth Vader (there are so many). On top of that i actually haven’t seen all of Clone Wars; just the episodes most important to understanding Anakin’s fall.

Onto my next point, we just talked about the growth Anakin showed in this episode; now onto why i believe that this arc was instrumental in Anakin’s fall. (Disclaimer: I do not think that removing this arc alone could have saved Anakin, but i do believe it would have helped a good bit). I’ve already touched on Anakin and Obi-Wan’s bond so im not gonna do that again. 

Ive said it before and i will say it again; it was super fucked up of Obi-Wan and everyone else on the Council to use Anakin’s (and Ahsoka’s) reactions Obi-Wan’s “death” for their own gain. It was super manipulative and they absolutely knew what they were doing.  Obi-Wan even explicitly says, “Keeping Anakin on the outside was critical. Everyone knows how close we are. It was his reaction that sold the sniper. I'm sure of it.”(Deception season 2 episode 15). He knows just how devastated Anakin would be by his death, and he uses like Anakin and his mental and emotional well-being mean nothing to him (I know this isn’t true but its probably not hard to believe that someone doesn't care about your feelings when they’ve just tricked you into thinking they’ve died for their own gain). The Council really proves time and time again that they do not care about Anakin’s (or maybe anyone’s; Anakin was far from the only one close to Obi-Wan left unaware of his deception) mental or emotional wellbeing, but tbh i think this is the worst example of how callous the Council can be. And on top of all of that it was Obi-Wan who decided to keep Anakin in the dark Obi-Wan who should have known better; if we assume that Anakin is at least 20 in Clone Wars; Obi-Wan has known Anakin for at least 10 years, and has practically raised him from the age of 9, and yet somehow, somehow he had this idea and didn't see a single thing wrong with it. (And they really picked the worst possible person for this; like yea let’s trick the most unstable Jedi we have into thinking his closest friend/ father figure was murdered)

This arc’s main purpose (IMO) is to really show the beginnings of Anakin losing faith in the Jedi and putting more and more faith in Palpatine. Anakin trusted Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan betrayed that trust. Beyond that Palpatine is able to make Anakin begin to doubt how much the Council is telling him if they didnt tell him something as crucial as this. We even see Anakin parroting Palpatine’s “concerns” of the council not telling Anakin the full truth the Obi-Wan and the end of the arc. This arc is instrumental is establishing Anakin’s loss of faith in the council and shows how much he trusts Palpatine and sees him as a real friend.

Anyway I’m sure I had more I wanted to touch onand if I remember I will definitely edit this post but for the now I just wanna say. A) I love Obi-Wan a lot; this arc just really was not it. I do not understand how he thought this was in any way acceptable but I do still really like him. B) i fully understand that Anakin’s actions are his own and he does take a share of the blame for his own fall.

[curious-menace]

Arkham Scarecrow SFW Alphabet

im really enjoying writing arkham scarecrow. maybe ill do something similar to my random riddler headcanons posts with some scarecrows

long post under the cut

 A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Uhhh, the short answer is no. Jonathan is almost wholly incapable of what most people would term “affection”. His idea of loving is not using you for his experiments, only giving you small doses to build up your immunity( not that that will stop him from enjoying watching you panic). Jonathan leans heavily on gifts and words of affirmation as his language of love ( assuming he can even feel that emotion). He calls you  “my dear”  and “my darling” or once “my pumpkin” if he had too much to drink. 

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Jonathan would make a good friend if he could ever be wrangled into admitting it. He’s a complete bastard, but he's a loyal bastard. He always goes above and beyond for his friends but it's always in a “aw shit. My favorite idiot needs help AGAIN?!” begrudging , kind of way. You probably met in university/college and if you've stuck with him this long he’d be hard to get rid of.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He never asks for cuddles and is pretty touch adversed as a rule. Sometimes though, He simply plonks himself in your space and expects you to know what he wants. Usually it's gentle backrubs/strokes like you would with a child. Sometimes he just wants your warmth to sooth his aching body. He’s heavier than he was in Arkham asylum but still very underweight so you shouldn't have too much trouble moving him into a comfortable position.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Absolutely not. I'm not convinced this man owns more than his books and the burlap sack on his back ,never mind a home. He has plans to take the cloudburst on tour, to go cross country and then across the world spreading fear. That would be a little difficult if he had gotham mortgage sending him nasty emails every other day about missed payments. While he can cook and clean, I doubt you'd want to eat anything he made. Ignoring his filthy hands, he's probably laced it with fear toxin or a lethal amount of hot sauce.

His homemade cleaning chemicals are pretty stellar mind you. They can get blood, piss or tears out of anything. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Scarecrow really is a ride or die kinda guy. If you've wormed your way into his life then he’s going to do literally everything and anything to keep you in it. He’s not above making you dependent on him for safety just to keep you around longer. He’s not a total monster to the people he cares about mind you. If you really didn't want to be with him, he’d let you go….eventually.

I'm not sure he fully understands the concept of a “breakup”on his end. He gets that you don't see eachother anymore but I don't think he quite grasps that it's not because one party is dead. There's a 99% chance he’ll use you for his fear toxin experiments as a way of kicking you to the kerb. If you wake up in a ditch with a text that says “we’re through” you should consider yourself lucky. 

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

I canon arkham scarecrow as having been engaged at one point in his life, possibly around the time of origins. I can imagine his partner gave him a “me or the fear toxin” ultimatum which has led to the man you know now. Despite how he looks, how he speaks and acts, he’s still open to the idea of a partner. He’s a loyal man who can't stand backstabbers, he’d appreciate someone like a spouse/husband/wife to have his back. If he decided he wanted to get married he’d propose almost immediately. It might be more of a business or thesis type proposal with lots of talking rather than flowers and wine and you're likely to be married as soon as you said yes. 

He has a tiny pumpkin ring saved for the occasion. Something like this (image credit https://www.banggood.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s gentle, in a creepy way unsurprisingly. He was a little stronger than the average man before the incident with croc, all that cardio and fighting with batman made him a skinny legend amongst the rogues for how well he could fight. Now? He couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag. Mostly he's calm and soft, especially when you wouldn't expect him to be.  He can still be an emotionally manipulative person but chances are good you're smart enough to see right through him. Calling him on his bs is actually a good way to endear yourself to him. He likes a challenge and he loves it when people think they can outsmart him.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Hmm. yes and no. Scarecrow is severely touch adversed, but...It's not like with Riddler; Edward is on the autism spectrum and genuinely gets overstimulated by a lot of physical contact, he doesn't usually enjoy it unless under specific circumstances. Scarecrow WANTS to be hugged and held on occasion, but the mere thought of someone in his personal bubble sends his hackles up. 

When he first woke up after the asylum, he clung to you like a lampent. Scarecrow gives and recieves hugs like someone who needs them to breath.Your warmth soothes the aching pain when even drugs couldn't . By the time of Arkham Knight he’s grown cold and distant. His hugs are few and far between and unusually half hearted even when he initiates them. Maybe he’s just preoccupied with batman.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

I doubt he’d ever say the words ``i love you” but he’s absolutely going to quote love poetry at you, recite lines from his favorite literature  “shall i compare you to a summer's day” and all that. That’s far better than a simple “i love you” right?

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Jonathan is sort of one note when it comes to expressing frustration. Coffee machine not working? Melt it down into fear toxin vials. Line at the grocery store? Gas everyone out of his way. He doesnt get mad, he gets even. He’s not a super jealous person, he’s probably the most secure in himself out of all the rogues in Gotham bar Selina and ivy. But when something does hit his jealousy bone just right? LORD HE IS TERRIBLE. 

Unless you were the instigator, you are 100% safe but the poor soul who made the mistake of flirting with you will never see the light of day again.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He can't really kiss to be honest. He lacks a lot of lip tissue and tongue dexterity for deep smooching. He’s quite happy to give you little pecks on the cheek but anywhere else will get sloppy and he's not a fan of that. Jonathan has actually started to bump you with his head like a cat in lieu of kisses. Rare as it is, when he wants kisses he has a tendency to nuzzle into the crook of your neck or rest his head on your shoulder. He likes to be kissed on the cheek , forehead and top of his head. Most other places are covered in scars and lack the sensitivity to enjoy it.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He likes to scare kids. It's not as malicious as it is with adults, he just likes to yell boo at them, smiling as they scream and giggle and run away. It's probably the most innocent he’ll act around other people. He still doesnt like them per say but he’ll tolerate them in small doses. 

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Scarecrow , like most rogues, is not a morning person. He doesn't sleep well and he is hella grumpy when he first wakes up. Expect to watch him shuffle around his hideout like a zombie, still wearing a quilt and his dressing gown as he complains about everything from the weather to the loud creaking of the floorboards. You should present him with food and coffee and then retreat to a safe distance until he’s fully awake, otherwise he’s liable to turn on his grumpy old man routine on you. If he's feeling particularly sore or needy, he’ll ask you to help change his bandages and dressings .

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

It really depends on what he feels like in the moment. Sometimes he’ll leave you at home while he goes out to cause general mischief, sometimes he’ll bring you along as a look out. Sometimes it's a low-key night at the hideout reading and sometimes it's a caffeine fueled frenzie of experimentation and lab work with you as his trusty lab assistant.  He doesn't sleep well at night, the aches keep him up. If he were ever to actually go to bed he might find that you make a great pillow.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

As much as he resents people having the upperhand with information, it's hard not for people to see his past. His scars are so easily visible, inside and out. He doesn't talk about his past unless prompted. But if you do he’ll quite happily answer all your questions; he’s not afraid of discussing it. 

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Jonathan is a very patient man, not just when it comes to revenge.It takes quite a lot to make him fly off the handle and he cools off again quickly. That's not to say he doesn't hold a grudge like he’s being paid for it, only that it's more of a simmering anger rather than a boiling one.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He remembers most things about you, he has an excellent memory. But that being said he never lets on that he knows these things. He likes to hear you talk about the things that interest you, even if you've told him about it before. Watching you wax lyrical about your chosen subject makes him feel close to you. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

I don't know if it's a favorite or even a positive memory but when he first woke up from surgery after croc you were lying beside him. He was understandably confused, maybe even afraid, but seeing you there brought him great comfort. He didn't know what was happening because of all the meds, but as long as you were with him he was confident things would work out for him.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He means well, you should always keep that in mind  before you snap at him. He brought you to the arkham knights HQ to protect you from his plans, he’s given you micro doses of fear toxin to build your resistance and by the time of arkham knight you can hardly move for the amount of guards he has following you around. He’s overbearing bordering on controlling but I think it's because he simply can't admit the thought of losing you scares him, even just a little. You aren't a rogue, you don't know Batman like they do. He just needs to keep you safe from batman, from the police and from the ugly world outside.

Given how weak he’s been viewed practically all his life, I believe he’d resent the accusation he needed protecting. deep in his mind he knows no one man is an island. He appreciates little helps even if he won't say it. He doesn't need protection per say but If nothing else, after being injected with his new toxin, he's going to need someone who’s corpus mentis in his corner for court and medical proceedings.  

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

His idea of a perfect date is you two working on your respective projects in comfortable silence, maybe a trip to the museum if he feels like the exercise. Obviously that suits some people down to the ground, myself included, but he gets that it's not for everyone. He’s probably ok with you planning the activities provided you warn him beforehand. 

Given everything he’s been planning for batman, things like important dates and even everyday tasks have a tendency to get lost in the fray. He's not doing it on purpose, He’s glad to celebrate these things with you if you remind him, He's just got his priorities in a funny order.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He shuffles his feet when he walks and is one of those people who always has conversations in doorways. You can never be sure he isn't aware of these habits and is doing them on purpose. He also used to smoke quite heavily but has since given it up due to his throat and lung issues.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

It's sort of a mixed bag with him. On the one hand he knows he’s ugly, that's the point. You're MEANT to be scared looking at him, he’s leaning into it. But on the other hand his “look” is a carefully maintained visage; if it slips it might lose the intended effect. He might not be as scary to look at or worse, people might look at him in pity. It's not ordinary vanity or narcissism but yes, he is concerned with maintaining the way he looks 

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

The concept of feeling whole is somewhat lost on him; He’s clearly missing a few screws even in his most lucid moments. That said even in the depths of madness brought on by his toxin, he still notices your absence. Still incredibly distressed In his cell in blackgate, he can often be heard crying out to you for comfort  but is lacking the wherewithal to understand why you're not there. 

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Given that he has pretty extensive facial injuries, eating is pretty difficult for him. He used to really enjoy bagels and cubanos from gothams many deli’s. His favorite was a kosher deli in The Cauldron, before Joker ruined it. They’ve since rebuilt and while he can't eat many solids anymore , he still enjoys their matzo soup and smoothies. 

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Like most of the rogues, he absolutely can't stand bullies.He also can't stand physically aggressive people; if you're going to even TRY and intimidate him maybe you could use your words like someone with more than 2 brain cells to rub together, rare as that is in gotham. Back when he was a psychiatrist he hated people who were chronically late. Not his patients, most of the time it wasn't their fault  due to executive dysfunction or traffic, but people who kept HIM back and made HIM late were the bane of his existence. 

Z = Zzz (What are their sleep habits?)

Crane is a back sleeper who snores because of his damaged septum.He knows he makes a noise akin to a flip flop in a lawn mower but there is literally nothing he can do about it besides sleep on his stomach. He squirms around a lot in his sleep so even if he starts on his stomach, he’ll be on his back snoring like a dead horse in no time. The only thing that could keep him frontwise is if he were to sleep on you and have you hold him in place. 

[survivingthejungle]

foreigner’s god iii

absolutely none of u want this but you know what?? im fucking posting it anyways bc i LIKE IT

so here’s part 3

If the bond between the sons of Ragnar hadn't already been split after avenging their father, then they certainly were the moment that Ivar picked up his axe and launched it into Sigurd's chest. But when Ivar offered that his brothers remaining were welcome to join him on his journey to continue conquering more land and searching for the princess he had met not long before, something stirred in Hvitserk's heart. He was willing to look past the atrocity that Ivar had committed, if only for a while, if it meant that the dream he had been having could finally be answered. 

When the youngest Ragnarson happened upon Floki and Helga planning to leave with their stolen child from Andalusia, he was half surprised that he was able to convince them to stay around for him. He was honestly devastated by the fact that he'd murdered his own brother, and Floki knew this better than anyone: one look at Ivar begging them to stay with him was all that he needed to know that Ivar would crumble without the one person who'd always been there for him. "My heart is broken," he whispered, voice hoarse from sobbing. 

Floki hugged him tightly. "It will repair," he promised. "Think of your Liusaidh. Ivar the Boneless, scourge of the world. You will survive this."

— 

"The Saxons are in disarray. This is a good opportunity. We have the resources to make a permanent settlement," Ubbe reasoned. 

"D'you agree, Ivar?" Hvitserk silently hoped that he wouldn't, but his tone remained impartial.

"I don't want to disband the army. In fact, I want to continue the war against the Saxons while we are still in a position of strength! My suggestion is that we go back north, to where we defeated Ælle. We should establish a permanent camp, as you say," he gestured to Ubbe, "But near the coast. From where we can raid wherever we want."

"Our father's dream," Ubbe argued, using a half eaten chicken leg to punctuate his point, "Was that we wouldn't be just raiders. That we would behave in a different way." "You're not listening, Ubbe. We- we have to have a stronghold. If we go north, we are closer to our own lands, and shipping routes… we can build an impregnable fortress." "Where?" Hvitserk goaded. 

"I've heard of a town. Called York." His brothers, clearly interested, stopped eating for a moment to listen. "It is built on a major river and it is not far from the sea. And I think that… we should take it."

Ubbe dissented. "No. It would seem like a withdrawal."

"Yes. Yes, it would," Ivar concurred, "But it is only tactical. Surely you understand, Ubbe, if we establish ourselves in the middle of the country, then we are surrounded by enemies! In York, we are near our home. Right, Hvitserk?" Hvitserk glanced at Ubbe, hopeful. "I agree with Ivar. We should go north, and take York."

"That's good," Ubbe said, fake cheerfully, and left the tent. Hvitserk and Ivar shared a look. 

"What about your Princess in Inis, Ivar?" Hvitserk prompted. "York is not near that other coast."

"No," he admitted, "But that is why we are going to Inis first, and then taking York."

"What do you mean?" he promptly spat back. "You just said— "

"I know what I said to Ubbe. But, brother, we are going to raid the other kingdom first, take what I am seeking, and then return to York. And…" he paused for a brief moment. "I am sure there is something you would like from Inish as well. The princess has plenty of sisters," he suggested. 

Hvitserk wouldn't show it, but the thought of that excited him. He wondered if the girl that kept appearing in his dreams could possibly be one of the sisters Ivar mentioned. 

— 

"They're coming." Liusaidh woke up early in the morning, gasping for air like she hadn't breathed in hours. She had burrowed into Caridwen's side in the middle of the night during a particularly loud thunderstorm. The mac Neíll children all loved the rain, of course, but it was somewhat of a ritual for them to all gather in Caridwen's room when there was a midnight storm.

Niamh, on the other side of Caridwen and not moving a single inch, called out muffled by the covers, "What are you on about, Lius?"

"Vikings. They're coming. I— I had a dream about it. They're in England and they're coming to Inis."

"Don't be ridiculous," Brigid called from the other end of Caridwen's bed. "Vikings don't want to come here."

"I'm not kidding, both of you! It was like a vision; like I could see it happening in real life, but sped up very fast."

Labhraín was only half awake at that moment, but understood perfectly what Liusaidh was describing. "She's right," she whispered, voice hoarse. "I'm having a dream like it."

Caridwen, now fully awake and aware, sat up and got out of bed, walking over to her nightstand and pouring a jug of water into a bowl to wash her face. "Well then," she mumbled, "I suppose we should tell someone?" Brigid nodded.

"We should tell Morrigan, she knows all about these things."

"What do I know all about, you wee rascals?" Morrigan asked, entering into Caridwen's room to prepare them for the day. 

"Liusaidh and Labhraín have been havin' the same dream about the same wee Vikings comin' to the island," Brigid told her. Morrigan nodded.

"Well then, wains, I'd say we'd better figure out what it all means then, wouldn't you?"

— 

The princesses all trailed alongside or behind Morrigan as she led them to the drawing room in their section of the castle where they would all have their lessons— though, for today, instead of learning embroidery or music or writing, they'd be learning how to interpret the youngest mac Neílls most recent dreams. As the five young ladies took seats all around the room, Morrigan instructed Liusaidh and Labhraín to sit in front of her and relay their dreams in as much detail as they could recall.

Liusaidh went first, informing them about how she saw their beloved home, billowing in smoke, being plundered and pillaged by Viking raiders; how she saw her sisters all being pulled away from one another, while one group fled to safety and the other was lead to the Viking ships; how she could clearly see the face of the Viking boy that they had met in England not so long ago, and how he was the one dragging her away from her destroyed home. 

Labhraín, still mildly bothered by Liusaidh's own dream, was then instructed to share her own. It had been recurring for several nights, and always the same: the same bloodied Viking man charging at her, always running away, but never fast enough, and being captured and dragged away to their heathen ships. Morrigan nodded understandingly upon hearing both dreams while the other three sisters waited with bated breath to hear her conclusion. "Well, lasses, it seems we have some mystics on our hands. Those are purely prophetic dreams if I've ever heard 'em— and I have, best you believe. What we're to do now is tell your Ma and Da all about what you've been seein', and let them decide how to deal with it."

— 

As it turned out, the girls' parents decision on how to deal with it was to simply not deal with it at all. Despite all Morrigan's attempts to convince the king and queen that their daughters' dreams were truly seeing the future, and that they had much to fear, they couldn't be made to believe it. 

"Girls," their father began, "I know that you believe that your dreams are tellin' the future. But I can promise you, with all I know, that it's simply not gonna happen! Your dreams are just the results of having too active imaginations, and from bein' at each other's sides all the live-long day. Lord above, you'd think the two wains were more twins than the actual twins," their father muttered to their mother, who simply nodded in response. "Now go to your studies please, all of you. Thank you for letting us know about your concerns, lasses, but there's nothing to worry about."

— 

The next morning, Ivar and Hvitserk took off with a small band of men — enough to do damage, but not enough to make the rest of their great army less powerful— and headed off toward the opposite coast to sail to Inis. They'd informed Ubbe at the last minute, telling him of their plans to capture the kingdom and steal away a princess or two, and he was less than pleased with the idea. "You can't just raid an entire country on a whim, Ivar," he'd scolded, "These things have to be planned. What if you don't take enough men and get everyone killed, huh? This is a horrible idea. And what if the Saxons push us out while you are one?"

"The Saxons could not push us out no matter how hard they try; even if I take some men away for now. We are still stronger than them in every possible way, Ubbe. Have faith, brother! We have a plan. We know their kingdom does not have a very strong army. It will be an easy raid. Like when father sacked the monastery at Lindisfarne so long ago. There is nothing to worry about; and we will be back before you can even miss me," he smirked smugly, patting his oldest brother's cheek. 

And so, despite his protests, Ivar and Hvitserk headed west to Inis, to capture the kingdom of Tara and, perhaps, even some princesses.

— 

Within a week of Liusaidh and Labhraín's dreams first recurring, there had been news that Caridwen's betrothed, Alfred, was deathly ill, that the kingdom of Wessex had been taken over by Vikings, and that a band of "rogue" Vikings were heading west. Caridwen, who hadn't seen Alfred in close to three years, was devastated. There was no news that he had died (yet), but his mother Judith claimed that he wasn't showing signs of recovering any time soon. The two young royals had exchanged letters back and forth rather regularly after they'd first met one another all those years ago, and she was distraught that he was so ill and so far from home. 

Her mother and father were concerned as well; not only for Alfred's health, but also for their daughter's future. "If Alfred doesn't survive, who will be left for her? His brother? Christ in heaven, Danu, it's not that I want to send the girl away, but we need this alliance."

"All we can do for now is pray, Aéd. We can't start makin' arrangements for the wain before anything even happens. Have faith that he'll be alright. If only for Caridwen."

Eoghan and his younger sisters, minus the eldest, were more concerned about the whispers of rogue Vikings and that they were coming west. Out in the forest once again, climbing trees and picking berries, they discussed their theories.

"Labhraín and I told you all that Vikings were coming. We had dreams and everything, but you didn't believe us."

"You don't even know that they're coming here, Liusiadh," Niamh called up to her sister, sitting on a tree branch and whittling a twig she'd found. "Y'have one dream and all of a sudden think you're a mystic; sweet Jesus."

"Niamh! You watch your words talkin' about the Lord!" Eoghan chastised her. The two of them were sitting below the trees on a quilt that they'd brought from the castle.

"Aye, Niamh, you shouldn't swear," Brigid called from beyond the bushes, picking berries. "Because when you swear, our Lady in Heaven, she cries her tears; and then make rain." She appeared in the clearing with the rest of her siblings. "Isn't that right, Eoghan?"

He stared at her for a moment, baffled, before slowly nodding. "Aye… so it is, Brigid. So it is." Brigid, pleased with his assurance, nodded once and smiled before hopping back off to pick more fruits. 

"I think you're all dense as rocks for not believin' our dreams," Labhraín called. She was sitting on a tree branch opposite Liusaidh, weaving together flowers that she'd picked on their way to the forest. "Even Morrigan said so."

"Eoghan?" Liusaidh called to her brother. "How long d'you suppose it would take some Vikings to reach our coast from Wessex?" Physically, she was trying her hardest not to appear bothered; but the shaking of her voice betrayed the steadiness of her face.

"Week, week and a half maybe, Lius," he told her honestly. Eoghan was never the type to lie to someone for their own comfort. "But there's no way to know for sure whether or not these Vikings are even trying to come to Inis."

"Aye, not until they show up right on the coastline," Brigid deadpanned. "'Course, by then, it's too late. Y'know, because we're already trapped."

"Christ, Brigid! D'you have any damn empathy for your sister at all?" Niamh yelled. Eoghan, peeved with her profanity, launched an elderberry at her forehead. "Catch yerself on, Eoghan," she shot at him. 

"What's your problem lately, Niamh?" Labhraín asked. "Just gets me angry that you're all actin' as if there isn't something wrong when there clearly is." After a beat of silence, she continued. "Our oldest sister's bein' married off to a wain she met one time; and if that wain dies 'cause he's sick, then Da will make her marry his older brother, who might as well be an old man. And no one seems to care except me, not even Caridwen. And here you and Liusaidh are havin' dreams about Viking raids! And no one's been battin' an eye at any of it! It's pretty damn disgraceful, if you ask me!"

"Take a deep breath, dheirfúir. You'll pass out," Brigid reminded her through a mouthful of elderberries.

"Brigid," Niamh started, eyes closed and eerily calm. "I'm this close to launchin' you off that cliff." Brigid backed up a pace, eyes widening for a moment.

— 

They came in the early hours of the morning. 

The two youngest, still plagued by their possibly prophetic dreams, awoke a while after the witching hour, and found their way to one another in the castle's dim hallways. It was Liusaidh's idea to take the horses out and ride to clear their minds; while Labhraín didn't agree at first, she eventually caved. The girls left without stirring a single person in the castle from their sleep. 

They were too far inland from the coast to see the ships landing on the shore or hear the hollers coming from aboard. 

The sun had only just begun to rise on the day that their futures would be altered forever.

— 

"This is the place, Ivar? You're sure?" Hvitserk asked. They were just moments away from reaching the shore. 

"Exact place? No, Hvitserk, I am not sure. I have never been to this place before, have you?" he snapped. "If it is not here, we will find it. But I know it is the right country."

"I can only hope, Hvitserk muttered. When the ships were beached and the castle was in sight, the rogue band of Vikings poured out onto the sand; and once Ivar's chariot was prepared, they headed toward the place where he prayed to the fates that his Liusaidh would be. 

— 

After the girls had calmed themselves during their walk in the forest, they returned to the open field to find their horses gone. "Maybe they got spooked by a snake," Labhraín tried. 

"There are no snakes in Inis, fool. Remember Naomh Pádraig?"

"Something else, then. A bear, maybe?" "I hope not." They shared a solemn look and took off back toward the castle. "I'm sure they went home, though."

"We should hurry back, then. In case anyone sees them without us and thinks we're in trouble."

Once the walk was purely downhill, the girls were shocked at the state of their castle home. There were ships surrounding the coast, the gates were destroyed, windows were smashed, almost everything outside, was turned over or broken, and — there were Vikings. Real life Vikings. Everywhere. They were frozen on the spot, unable to say or do anything out of pure shock, until one Viking took note of them and pointed them out to the one who seemed to be the leader. He was riding a chariot pulled by a white horse, and was the only one not running around and wreaking havoc, so he must have been the one in charge. He took off uphill toward them and they ran as fast as they could in the opposite direction, their bodies working faster than their brains. 

—

Ivar called for his brother. "Hvitserk!" he yelled, "There are two of them. Maybe one is the girl from your dream!" It was obvious that Ivar was making fun of him, but his curiosity piqued and got the best of him; he followed his brother's chariot as fast as his legs would move towards the ones Ivar was chasing after. 

—

He was gaining on them and they were running out of options. They still had not reached the top of the hill, and the girls' legs were going weak on them. Labhraín tripped over a well-hidden rock, which put Liusaidh plenty of paces ahead of her. She almost stopped when she realized that her sister had fallen, but the chariot was getting too close. "Keep running, Liusaidh!" Labhraín called, and she obeyed her sister. She took off parallel to where she'd fallen, hoping to deter him from getting to her instead, and it seemed that her plan worked. The man in the chariot, wearing a heavy-duty metal helmet, took one look at Labhraín and went after the youngest instead. He was gaining on her faster and faster, and was getting closer and closer, until all Liusaidh could do was look straight ahead and pray to God he was farther away than he sounded.

Her prayers were not answered in the way that she was hoping. All of a sudden, the white horse and chariot were running up ahead of her and came to an abrupt halt, blocking her path. She was met face to face — well, face to helmeted face — with the man who had been pursuing her for so long. "Hello, Liusaidh. It is so nice to see you again."

That voice, she thought, it sounds so familiar.

He took off his helmet. It was the Viking prince she had met all those years ago in Wessex — it was Ivar the Boneless. "You are so tired from running," he observed, and suddenly she was too aware of her panting breaths and heavy legs. She noted that he was speaking in English to her. "Why don't you come up here and sit down?" he offered. 

"Níl aon slí," she spat at him, glaring daggers. "Bastaird Lochlannach."

He smiled condescendingly. "Well. I do not know what you just said, but I can tell that it wasn't very nice. Am I correct?" She remained stone cold. "I don't want to hurt you, Liusaidh. But you need to come with me willingly, or we will have problems." Still, she refused to move. He entertained her defiance for a moment, but was fed up with it very quickly. "You know," he started, "It would be such a shame if anything happened to your other sisters back at the castle. My men are there now, making sure they don't do anything… irrational. But if I were to give them permission… Well, I'm sure you wouldn't be too happy to hear what would happen to them— "

"Stop," she interrupted him in English. "Don't… don't hurt my sisters. I'll go. Just leave my family alone."

"Very wise. Come on, then," he gestured to a small, bench-like seat next to him on the chariot. "It isn't very Christian to keep your guests waiting, is it?" Begrudgingly, she accepted his outstretched hand to pull her up into the chariot, and sat down uncomfortably next to him. He refused to let go of her hand, instead bringing it up to his mouth. "You know," he began, the horse heading back to the castle and the shoreline, "I have been very excited to see you again since we last met. Do you remember? In Wessex?"

"Yes," she hoarsely whispered. "I remember."

"That was the last time my father was alive. Did you know?" She shook her head. "King Ecbert pawned him off to be killed. My brothers and I began planning our revenge as soon as we heard. And we finally got it, all these years later."

"Why did you come here? We had nothing to do with your father's death."

"Oh, I know." He released her hand and brought his own to smooth over her hair, like he was petting her. "I did not come here for revenge. I came for you."

She was speechless, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Why?"

"You know, I never forgot about you," he told her, seemingly changing the subject. He smiled down at her. "I always knew that I would find you again one day." 

— 

While her sister took off in the other direction, Labhraín realized that the man on the chariot was not the only one chasing them.  There was a man coming after her on foot, sword in hand, blood splattered on his face; she got an overwhelmingly unsettling feeling of deja-vu. 

He seemed to feel it, too, because she could swear that she saw his eyes widen in realization when he saw her face. If it were at all possible, he began running toward her even faster. She stumbled over herself in a rapid attempt to stand back up and began running as fast as her legs would move her. She periodically looked back over her shoulder to take note of how close he was, and he was rapidly gaining on her. The hill still had yet to peak, and she was losing energy. 

She misjudged a crucial step and stumbled again, and her exhaustion caught up to her as the Viking did. (She realized now, what was so familiar to her — this was her dream. This was going to happen all along. She couldn't escape it.) She could hear him breathing heavily, getting closer and closer, footsteps pounding on the ground. He grabbed her arm roughly, once he was within reach of her, and pulled her toward him.

He brought his sword to her back to keep her from trying to escape and brought his other hand to grab her face now. He said something to her in what she could only assume was Norse, a bone-chilling smile on his face. At her terrified and confused expression, he repeated himself in English. "It's you."

"Níl aithne agam ortsa." She tried to shove him off of her and escape the pressing sword, but he held her tighter in response.

"Ah," he warned. "We've already defeated your people. It will be best for you to obey me. Come," he ordered, and she glared defiantly instead. He adopted an evil smirk and ran his thumb over her lips; she felt half tempted to bite, but decided not to. He then abruptly grabbed the back of her head and brought his sword to her neck, eliciting a small gasp, and maneuvered them both so that he was behind her, hand guiding the small of her back and sword still ready to slice. "You are a stealthy little thing, you know?" he mumered in her ear. "You have been showing up in my dreams at night for quite some time. I was beginning to think that I would not ever find you."

"What do you want from us?"

"Oh, I don't care for anything your kingdom can give me. I only wanted you. And now that I've gotten when I came here for, I will go back to England with my brothers, and we will take over York." 

"Alright," she tried to reason. "You've gotten me. You've gotten what you came here for. Then you must leave immediately and not harm my people."

"That's not my decision, pretty girl. You will just have to hope that your sister doesn't anger Ivar. He is in charge of all of this," he gestured to the scene before them. Hundreds of violent Viking warriors running amuck and causing panic in the streets of Tara. 

A thousand more questions ran around her head, but she took a deep breath — the sharp metal of Hvitserk's sword pressing into her throat — and remained silent, tilting her chin up just a hair. If she was going to die, she would die with all the dignity she could muster.

— 

They all four returned back to within the city walls not long after the two girls had been captured. It was evident that Hvitserk had not been lying when he said that Ivar was in charge of the army, because when he entered into the crowd of violent foreign invaders with Liusaidh at his side, they all fell silent and watched him closely, as if they were a pack of hunting dogs and he was their master returning with a fox. He stopped the chariot briefly, yelling something out to his warriors, and they all turned back the way they came and headed back to their longboats.

Liusaidh and Labhraín shared a panicked look when the two men who had seized them led them into the castle instead. "Dúirt sé go raibh grúpa fir ina ngiall," Liusaidh informed her sister, refusing to speak English in front of the two men. 

"An gceapann tú go ndéanfaidh sé iad a mharú?"

"Níl — níl a fhios agam," Liusaidh croaked, a heavy tear sliding down her cheek.

Ivar interrupted their conversation. "I hope you are not trying to plan an escape," he threatened, grabbing Liusaidh roughly by the hair and forcing her to look at him. 

"We're not!" she cried, scalp burning sharply. 

"Good," he responded, "Because it would not end well." He released his hold on her and lightly tapped her cheek. Ivar abandoned his horse and chariot and instead grabbed a pair of very heavy-duty metal crutches. He also grabbed two short spare ropes, throwing one to Hvitserk, and tied Liusaidh's wrists together, leaving enough on one side to pull her along with him like a very tragic leash. Hvitserk did the same to Labhraín's wrists, tying them so tightly that she gave a weak yelp when he tugged on them. He said nothing, nor did he make any attempts to loosen then, only smirking darkly. 

They entered into the castle, quickly finding where the Viking warriors were keeping the rest of the royal family hostage. They were in the girls' music room; Caridwen, Brigid, and Niamh were still in their simple white cotton nightgowns, same as Liusaidh and Lahbraín. Their father and brother were both wearing soft cotton trousers, one pair brown and the other a dark grey. Eoghan's tunic was a shade of white like his sisters' clothes, and King Aéd was wearing a deeply dyed red one. Their mother, also in her nightgown, had managed to also throw a deep green cloak over herself, dreading to be seen by such heathen invaders in her sleepwear. Ivar spoke to his men, surrounding the family with swords pointed and ready, in their native language, and the men backed away. "Your highness," he began, mock-bowing before King Aéd and still holding onto Liusaidh's rope. "We are very sorry to disturb your sleep. My most sincere apologies. But we got what we came for, as you can see." He lifted Liusaidh's hands with the rope, and Hvitserk did the same. The two girls looked pleading and sorrowful to their family, but understood that it would be much too risky for any of them to make any sudden movements. "So we will be on our way now. — And, don't try anything when we leave. I have made a promise to sweet Liusaidh here that I will not kill any of you, but if you try to hurt me or my brother... my hand may slip," he threatened. He then barked an order to his men to leave the castle and head back to the longboats, and he and Hvitserk turned and headed back the way they came, leaving the mac Neílls to their own devices in their ransacked castle. They stayed put, too afraid to move a finger (for Liusaidh and Labhraín's own safety, they could hardly claim to understand the thought process of these heathens), as the girls were dragged back outside. 

The four of them exited the castle doors and, when Hvitserk shut and barred them, one of Ivar's personal guards presented him with a lit torch. "What are you doing?" yelled a panicked Labhraín, both at Hvitserk and Ivar — whoever would listen. "You said you wouldn't hurt them!" 

"I said we wouldn't hurt them. If they can't escape the fire, well… that's not our fault. Hvitserk! Set it."

— 

Liusaidh and Labhraín were dragged away by a handful of Vikings, becoming too fidgety for just one person to keep a grip on them. Thrown onto Ivar and Hvitserk's boat — the biggest one of the fleet — they could do nothing but watch their castle home go up in smoke as they sailed away from the shore and due east. 

Neither of them had the will or the energy to protest as their ankles were bound and another rope was tied to connect their wrists to their feet. Ivar hobbled on his crutches to take a seat at the edge of the boat next to Liusaidh. His gloved and rough hand ame up to stroke the side of her face and brush through her hair. "You will forget about them one day. And you will learn to be happy with me," he promised, but the promise to her sounded more like a threat.

—

At the back of the boat, Hvitserk had seated himself next to Lahbraín. He brought her a spare blanket, placing it around her shoulders as she couldn't do it herself. He placed his palm on her cheek and brushed a tear away. "I am not a bad man like you think," he told her in a low whisper. "You will understand that eventually."

[ilusionis]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: vinn (or ila, for close friends)     Age: 22       Contact: IM, discord

Character(s) I rp: aizen sosuke on here, askin nakk ke vaar (@ levaer) and lille barro (@ firstritter, sideblog) Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): all of them actually. Current Fandom(s): bleach. Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  none. i’ve been debating about making a modern au but i wouldn’t be sure what to explore in it. within the context of bleach, though, i’m very interested in developing a bunch of AUs. My language(s): i’m only confident in writing in italian or english.  Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: none.

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting:  if you want to plot, it would be best to send me an IM and ask me, then we can definitely move to discord if you’d rather. it’s possible to approach me for rp without plotting first, best way would be to send me a meme when i reblog them or simply an ic ask, which i will answer, while memes might get lost. ic asks are good ice-breakers, we can continue plotting from there.

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  i need my partners to be as interested in our plot as i am. it would be great if you already have an idea, but it’s still good if you don’t, i get that coming up with ideas can be hard sometimes; mostly, i require honesty. you can definitely tell me that you got no ideas and i will do my best to help, ask questions, try to spark something. i do require the feeling of having that commitment reciprocated.

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  i tend to straight up drop the conversation lmao. no hard feelings, but if i get the feeling you’re not interested, i will take my distance - i won’t waste my energy on a plot if my partner doesn’t share my enthusiasm. still, you can always approach me again, if you’re feeling up to it / have new ideas / whatever. nice thing of online convos is that they don’t have an expiration date lol.

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  i always ask if they got any ideas to begin with. if my partner already knows, more or less, what kind of dynamic they wanna build with my character(s), that makes it infinitely easier to build something meaningful. it’s still fine if they don’t, i will usually ask a lot of questions regarding their muse’s opinions / feelings / etc., and try to navigate from there. a question i usually ask is: is there any aspect of your muse you’d like to explore? i think that’s a pivotal point in any interaction. 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: if they feel like telling me, why not. but usually, i don’t warn when i drop a thread, so it’s not expected of my partners ever. - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?:  nothing in particular tbh. they can tell me or approach me to start a new thread if they wish to, but it’s not required.

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  i might lose interest in a thread, especially if i feel like it’s going nowhere or if the inspiration for it simply doesn’t come. it’s never happened so far that i had to drop a thread because it was making me uncomfortable, but that could still be a reason for me to. in general, though, i would approach my partner in that case. - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  absolutely. i’d rather avoid awkward situations or misunderstandings of any kind; if something’s up, tell me. i also like to communicate with my writing partners (be it in the tags of our threads or in IMs), makes me feel like the enthusiasm is not one-sided and i find it generally pleasant.  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  sure. we gotta stay polite, but honest. - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  to have fun, to cultivate my writing skills and my english, and to explore my favorite characters. 

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  i want to develop aizen’s wandenreich verse, because i’m deep in quincy hell and i think his dynamics with quincy muses could be super interesting. anything involving the intricacies of bleach politics is super interesting to me, be it with aizen or with my two quincy muses - who, btw, are also good to explore dynamics between quincies / their culture / relationships etc.

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore:  i won’t write anything pertaining to sexual assault. 

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: it’s gotten difficult to work with starters such as “you summoned me / do you need anything / did you call for me” etc. i used to receive that kind of starters all the time with aizen, and i can’t come up with something new every damn time. i also have a hard time working with starters / replies that already feel like a closed conversation and don’t give me anything to reply to.

What type of characters catch your interest the most?:  i’m not sure i have a type. aizen is pretty much an exception, the only example of an already well-built character i write, since i tend to gravitate around minor ones that don’t have much material and that i can work on and expand without being affected by the fandom’s opinion or whatever. somehow i always tend to rp tall guys-

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  children and teenagers don’t interest me for the most part. characters who don’t have a shred of an opinion or can’t offer any interesting conflicts. overly friendly, mushy, affectionate and flowery characters are really not my cup of tea either. 

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  oh god i have no idea. i’m very laid-back, i guess. i’ll never pressure my partners for replies, i don’t think i’m owed a reply in the first place because we all have lives offline,  so i’ll never take it to heart if a partner drops a thread. if i really feel like our roleplaying styles don’t mesh, it will be at my own discretion to do something about it. another strong aspect i have ....... i think i have a decent grasp on all my muses? especially aizen. of course ur free to disagree lol. also, lately i’ve been p active, so that’s it. 

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: i’m really slow. i might speed up for my closest friends, with whom i plot / rp regularly, but usually i take quite some time to reply to random unplotted threads. i probably have a thousand other flaws as a rper, but this is the biggest one that comes to my mind rn. 

Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  i don’t write detailed sex scenes. sorry lmao they’re just not interesting to me. however, i’m super-ok with writing anything around it, like intimate scenes etc. in fact i find it somewhat soothing.  - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  the nitty-gritty part is already a no, but i guess also sexual violence and shit like that. it’s a no.

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  all my ships are with snow 8′) and ur never bored with her. in general, i love being able to explore the muses’ relationships, their conflicts and their peaceful moments, especially in relation to canon events! - What is your smut tag?: nsfw / ........ my n*sfw posts are rare anyway.

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: to an extent, i prefer pre-est relationships to first meetings - which they can get a bit dull after some time. i’m ok with mostly anything, and only more selective when it comes to relationships that might severely alter my muse’s canon / past / overall character. 

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  not to stroke my own feathers but aizen offers a perfect chance at character development to any and all bleach characters. he’s the main villain, he holds some wild opinions, and whether you agree or disagree with him, he leaves no one indifferent. aizen is the main cornerstone of bleach, and if you want your muse to questions themselves and the system / world around them, interacting with him is the best way to start. also, aizen interacted with a fuckton of people, knows practically everything there is to know, is responsible for significant amount of canon events, so you see ... whatever character you write, aizen has the full potential to be extremely relevant in the course of their development.

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:   children, ordinary low-ranked shinigami (i find it hard when it’s out of the blue, even in aizen’s captain and lieutenant verses ... because interactions would likely be only work-related, and won’t go far), characters whose personalities really have nothing to do with aizen. unfortunately, he’s not my easiest muse, and i don’t want to force interactions with him.  - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  characters who have opinions, some political involvement, in general characters with whom aizen had a dynamic in canon. 

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  reading, calligraphy, philosophy (especially in-world philosophy), science (again, mostly related to the specificity of the bleach universe), the very careful crafting of his plan- - What do they desire, is their goal?:  kill the soul king and take its place, destroy the institutions of soul society, subdue them. and then rule, as the soul king never did before. - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  the idiosyncracies in their behavior, the particularities, their possible weaknesses.  - What do they value in a person?:    very little, usually. he may appreciate a resolute personality, strength, and intelligence. - What themes do they like talking about?:  speaking mostly of mundane talks, he likes conversing about his interests. it takes a lot for him to share any personal information, though. - Which themes bore them?:  anything about the greater good, friendship, love, very human topics.

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  seeing the soul king, in all things like a ghost stalking his dreams, and well ... spending his early life in rukongai as a whole. being forced to consume other souls in order to survive. the first times his reiatsu killed anyone who tried to get near him.  - What could possibly trigger them?:  it’s rare that he will outwardly show signs of distress, i’d say almost impossible. the few times the soul king still appears in his mind, greatly upsets him though. - What could set them off, enrage them?:  the soul king gets him particularly heated. urahara, as we witnessed. after his defeat, ichigo, to an extent. - What could lead to an instant kill?:  kubo was a coward who didn’t dare let him kill any relevant character, but actually aizen kills very liberally.

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  the soul king, urahara. he has a strong disdain for yamamoto, and that joke of C46. - Is there someone /-thing they love?:    himself. tousen

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  he’s only really easy to approach for bleach characters, who, depending on who they are, have different eligible verses to further facilitate the interaction. humans / powerless bleach characters can’t really interact with him tho. - Where are they usually to find?:  soul society or hueco mundo. i have a verse set in the wandenreich.

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  aizen is not a particularly easy muse, but it’s part of his overall mosaic to be somewhat unapproachable and distant. i’m not out to make him someone he is not, so forgive me in advance if plotting with me turns out to be difficult in a way or another. he’s very dear to me, and i try my best to do him justice! while my main headcanons may not affect our interactions specifically, i still ask my partners to look them up (they’re linked in my about page) because they’re essential to my portrayal and it makes me happy to have them acknowledged. i think that’s all lmao. come visit me over at my quincy boys too.

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  @skyvar​ I DID IT AT LAST. Tagging:  i don’t know who has been tagged so, you know what to do.

[fairycosmos]

PLEASE answer:((( I cannot stop thinking about my past (aka my childhood/teen years) and how god awful ugly i was. my entire aesthetic was just plain disgusting!! my room was terrible, my clothes looked weird...i cant even look at any pictures from those years. and honestly nowadays i am not much better...but at least i'm a little less cringe. have u ever felt this? any advice?? HOW do i let goooo :( i know i'm overthinking but its ruining me.

hey dude, i know it's hard to be rational when you're anxious but you were literally........ a child. you're never going to find peace if you insist on holding yourself to the standards imposed on us as adults, because even grown people can't be everything the world wants them to be. it's supposed to be an impossible goal to meet, we're supposed to spend our lives chasing a made up fantasy and berating who we are. that's the way it's set up. it's also important to remember that your idea of beauty/what is acceptable has been controlled for so long, and has been manipulated to be very sexualised and performative, which are concepts that no child should be forced to embody. you genuinely didn't have to be anything but what you were. the price you pay for your existence isn't total and complete coolness at all times. look, it is completely natural to roll your eyes at your former self because that means you're growing as a person, and you HAD to be everything that you were in order to learn. you can know this logically and still process some embarrassment, of course. but always come back to the fact of the matter: you did nothing wrong. honestly, some memories make me want to punch my 12 year old self in the fuckin face. but if she was standing in front of me, i'd hold her hand. your kid self was committing no crimes by merely existing, seriously. teenagers are hard wired to go through phases, to explore all their options, to do and say the wrong thing because they're testing the waters and figuring out boundaries. it's such a crucial stage of development, and yeah you can now look back and be like, what the fuck? but the things that made you happy at the time were simply cruches that helped you navigate your formative years. you didn't have the perspective to engage with anything else, and that's ok. if you didn't have those experiences, you'd be way worse off as an adult. your embarrassing moments (in this context) are not some damning summarisation of your character, they're not anything to feel eternally guilty over. they're inevitable for everyone, you know? all that's left is self forgiveness. even if you have to practice it over and over again.

if you're becoming increasingly fixated on this and you can't stop thinking about it, it may be a mental compulsion and a symptom of a deeper issue that can be greatly elevated through talking to a professional. constant self loathing is extremely hard to deal with, and maybe there's a voice telling you you don't deserve help, but it's the same voice that got you to this point in the first place. you can't trust it. i know the idea is very overwhelming, so im just asking you to consider it. whether you talk to your doctor, a hotline, a support group or even just a family member to begin with - it will make a difference if you give it the chance to. but you have to tell your brain to fuck off and take that initial first step. even researching self help tactics and making the choice to implement them into your day to day life is a good start. then you can figure out what triggers you, and how to self soothe. but having somewhere to speak your mind, uncovering the root cause of your self loathing, and learning how to confront/cope with it in a healthy way is not at far-fetched at it seems. it's genuinely hard to accept that you are going to be you for the rest of your life, and it's even harder to accept that that is not a bad thing, but it's truly not. in 5 years you'll probably look back and shake your head at what you're doing now, and that is something to look forward to, even if it doesn't seem that way. i hope you're okay and that you're able to learn how to cut yourself some slack, even if it takes time. i fully believe in you, n i think if you knew that everyone in the world feels like this to some extent, you'd understand how natural it is. let me know if you need a friend or if you want to talk, i'll be here. take it easy.

[tumblunni]

I had a really weird dream involving Dr Maddiman. Its a shame i can barely remember any of it and also it seems i woke up before it ended? Like i just had this overwhelming sense that allll the plot threads were gonna be wrapped up any second now and then BOOM awake. So just a whole bunch of random stuff happened with no real explanation at all.

It was some sort of post apocolyptic setting i think? Humanity was in these small isolated cities fighting against some sort of invading army but we never actually saw the aliens themselves. And some part of my brain was like "it makes sense its the same rules as a hairdresser and the design takes cues from a pack of AAA batteries". I have NO idea what that means! So basically everythibg was super vague and undescribed and dream-me just had a sense of already being a long time fan of this series and knowing enough to fill in the gaps. Apparantoy this was some sort of adaptation of a thing id already seen, but id been told the ending was different and more accurate to the manga? Also i wasnt actually a person watching this show i was still the protagonist of the show yet i acted like i'd been reincarnated and relived this week a million times or something

ANYWAY the way dr maddiman comes in is that he was some sort of 'brilliant but dangerous' expert the government had hired to help our fight against the aliens. It wasnt really explained why he was.. yknow.. maddiman. Like is this meant to be that ghosts also exist in this sci fi universe? Was he a half alien hybrid instead of a yokai? Was it just human maddiman with the personality of yokai maddiman due to ptsd...? In any case he didnt seem entirely tethered to the laws of reality and nobody knew exactly how he pulled off all his scientific miracles. He was treated as the only guy who could understand the mindset of the aliens, but that also made him dangerous because he trapped in the delusion of everything being okay and fun and happy and he often did evil things by accident while having good intentions. But they didnt have anyone else who'd cracked the code of the alien weaponry so they had to put up with him. He was just sorta assigned a crack team of secret agents whose job was Be The Old Man's Friend So We Dont All Die. Dont let him realise how the world is all destroyed and such, just play along with his goofyness and try and remind him to do his important work while dancing around why its important. it was super creepy how he was locked up and gaslighted like this!! And he was all 'oh im sure when im done with my ultimate experiment i can go home to my wife and kids' and yeah it was implied here that the same backstory applied :( 'distract the old man and validate his false opinion that his family is still alive and waiting for him' :( poor sci fi madds :(

Oh also for some reason he seemed to be wearing elements of Adventure era Dr Eggman's outfit? But just the general style of the coat and the wearing goggles that he never actually uses. And he had a very warm and cuddly autumnal colourscheme

Anyway i was part of the Super Secret Grampa Cherishing Division whose job was to act as his assistant but also secretly be packing a bazillion weapons to neutralize him if he poses a danger to humanity. But i started to genuinely care for the guy and question the 'any atrocity is permitted for the sake of saving the world' philosophy of my bosses. Also it was just very weird how it was this post apocolypse alien fighting action thing yet i didnt see ANY OF IT cos this story was confined to this one laboratory. It was surreal hearing about all this stuff happening offscreen!

I think Maddiman's main project was some sort of dimensional transport thing using salvaged alien tech? It was just a door in his lab that usually led to a closet but if he got it working itd teleport us straight to the alien base and save the world. And a lot of it wasnt explained but i got this great sense that itd all come together with a great twist ending evebtually but then i woke up before i got that far. Same for the reveal of this maddiman's new sci fi backstory and soooo many other dropped plot threads. Alas!

So anyway: closet. Closet with one of those bead curtain things cos i was thinking about them when i fell asleep. It was supposed to be a teleport but when it malfunctioned it had really scary negative effects warping people's biology and stuff. I remember one of the test subjects was sent in for a five day trip to a specific alternate dimension but then when they came back itd been several years and theyd had to survive in a deadly wasteland and been mutated into a hellbeast. And maddiman had a huge breakdown because he felt like his recklessness and optimism towards this experiment had caused this mistake to happen, and he'd never realized just how awful the consequences could be. He was babbling motor mouth discussing theories for where it went wrong and there was something like 'we'd only tested it for one day trips and assumed that just programming two of them would equal two days but actually with each additional number on the screen it multiplies the days by 3" And there was something about like...the bead curtain was the machine rather than the door itself? Like trying it on a bunch of different doors around the lab to try and find a way to cure this person.

And there was some sort of artificial intelligence computer with the personality of an adorable lil girl, who helped maddiman do calculations and stuff. She missed the mistake in this calculation cos her concept of linear time and the limits of human organs was kinda undeveloped. She only existed within the realm of numbers after all, and didbt even have functionality to record footage of her human friends's faces. No idea wtf a human looks like! So maddiman was lost in his desperate grief of potentially accidebtally killing or at least mentally scarring a person and the government would probably kill them now if they saw they were a super mutant. And he was sobbing and begging this AI to help, his last resort was her maybe being able to see a brainwave that he'd missed. But she was freaking out cos she didnt even fully understand why maddiman was crying let alone what to do to fix it. Eventually she did manage to find a solution theough some simple different logic thing that she had from her perspective as a computer. And that person was saved but still traumatized and maddiman had a moment of realizing just how high stakes everything was and freaking out. He was like 'whats wrong with my head, why didnt i notice that, why was i so reckless, why cant i seem to grasp basic human logic that i need right now" Having a big existential crisis of 'wait how did i even get in this lab, where's my family and why do i seem to have superpowers'. Protagonist mission: hide all the goddamn mirrors to avoid this weird ghostgramp (...aliengramp??) from realizing he's dead (..or an alien??) and losing control of himself. And everyone was running around talking about 'containment procedures' and poor maddiman didnt know that if his panic attack continued he might just straight up be killed for outliving his usefulness. So the protagonist was desperate to help him calm down and it sucked SO MUCH cos they had to lie about his past and weave the web of deception around him again for his own safety. In the end they just hugged him close until he calmed down, and all the other employees were like GASP THEY ACTUALLY TOUCHED THE EVIL DANGEROUS SUPER EVIL MAN and protag was like 'i am 1% away from slapping the next bitch who insults this grandpa'. And it was super depressing cos once he'd calmed down he seemed to start forgetting that anything bad had ever happened?? And he was really panicking and scared cos he didnt understand why he was forgetting, and he knew he had to cling onto something important but he didnt know what. And then five minutes later he was back to haha cheerful nothing is wrong and i love doing my fun science in this room im never allowed to leave. And protagonist was crying the tears that this poor gramp wasnt allowed to cry :(

Also actually i think maybe he was a ghost AND an alien? Like he was a scientist who died in some sort of tragedy back when the aliens first invaded, but along the way he'd been infected so his body got back up as a twisted combination of human and inhuman. And this was something unique to him, like he just happened to have a genetic mutation in his blood that was totally undetectable in life but happened to mix unpredictably with this alien virus to turn him into a hybrid instead of just killing him. So the government was very interested in finding a way to replicate this and create new supersoldiers, as well as just taking advantage of this dude's confused mental state that granted him a unique understanding of alien tech that made him more effective than other scientists. And, of course, also made him easy to manipulate :(

And i also had a feeling that maybe his backstory was mixed up with Adventure dr eggman? Like here it seemed he had a daughter instead of a son, and she had a similar death to Maria Robotnik where she was assasinated by the government he worked for, and it tipped him over the edge. I think Maddiman-alien-scifi-dude originally died trying to save her from being used in some sort of experiment? Like she was already dying of a disease and thats why maddiman took this job to have access to powerful government technology to try and look for a cure. But when the whole alien apocolypse happened, the evil government decided to use her for experiments cos she was 'basically dead anyway'. Theyd just lie and tell maddiman she died of her illness. So this was how they found out that this particular family's bloodline had a mutation that let them form a viable hybrid with alien dna. They were turning this poor kid into a monster in the basement while lying to her dad about her being dead! And maddiman was about to commit suicide from having no reason to live anymore, with the hell of this apocolypse world and the false impression that his kid was already dead. But somehow monster-daughter sensed this or something and broke out of containment to try and save him, and when he saw her he was able to recognise her even in her twisted state. So when the soldiers gunned her down in front of him and fed him some lies about this not being his daughter, he just completely snapped. He tried in vain to fight back and take down as many of them as possible in revenge, but well he was just a simple round dad with no ability to fight a government. So he was unceremoniously executed along with his kid and they shoved the bodies back in the lab to continue testing. "Damn that overemotional science dad, he made us execute our most valable test subject! But at least this way we can analyze his corpse to see if the mutation is passed down on the patrilineal side." But at some point during the fight, monster-daughter's blood had splashed on her dad and gotten into his bloodstream. So the seemingly dead body suddenly got up out of the morgue and started sucking people's blood or something. And this led to the current situation where they have him locked up cos he's a valuable test subject but also hey he has 100% reason to kill all of us and we're screwed if he remembers his past. Also i think the computer AI thing was his subconcious attempt to recreate the personality of his daughter even if he couldnt remember she'd ever existed :(

Anyway at some point things escalated and there was this final showdown versus both the invading aliens and the evil governmebt guys. I think there was some corrupt greedy politician dude who stole maddiman's teleporter tech and sold us out to the aliens cos he wanted money and power or something. And probably predictably the aliens just threw him off a bridge after he gave them the thing, because seriously even this evil army thinks these government dudes are too evil!

So this big actiony event was happening and Maddiman was freaking out like 'no no no i cant leave the lab everyone wpuld be mad at me, i dont even know what its like outside this room' even when he was in the middle of being attacked by aliens. He was forced to face his repressed memories to survive, and he naturally had a massive fuckin freakout! And i think maybe when protagonist character was trying to protect him he accidentally lashed out with his powers and hurt them, and he was so horrified thinking another person he cared about was gonna die because of him. Protagonist was like 'dont worry gramps its just a scratch' but he'd already freaked out and run away into the battlefield to his heavily implied death.

BUT THEN at some sort of moment of dire need, he came back all powered up and re-memoried and was like 'i have every reason to despise humanity but im not gonna let more children die because of these damn corporate monsters (and also literal monsters which are infinately less scary)" And he did some sort of great sacrifice to save the protagonist at the cost of his own life, and it was super dramatic falling from a building into a lake of fire or something. While sobbing and smiling peacefully thinkibg "did i atone for my sins? Will i be able to see my family again?" As his smiling face sunk beneath the flames and the protagonist cried out into the abyss...

Aaaaand then i dont really know what happened in the big battle and i also never found out wtf the solution was to fixing the transporter thing or how the aliens invaded or any of the million plot points that were non gramp related.

I just remember that when we all saved the day and defeated the baddies we found that maddiman had actually survived and it was a big hugs reunion. He was like "OH YEAH i totally forgot i literally already died once and regenerated from it, and this was the entire start to my story. My bad!" *shrugs inexplicably not dead arms*

So yeah in summary im glad my brain summoned up a universe where my favourite sad granddad is literally immortal now, but also why did it torment him with an even sadder plot than his original one

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 5

oh dear

Though she’d had time to slip back into her shoes and soothe away the immediate pain of Emerald’s silence, the journey here had left her no less raw, a persistent frown curling her lips.

i said this last time but i’m still really enjoying the cinder narration we’re getting in the remaster... i also know it’s what really will be the final nail in my coffin, but c’est la vie.

of course it means we get 2 see this sadder cinder and i! dont like it AAAAAAAA!! i preferred it when we had no idea what her motives were so then Me Caring About This Round Child could be delayed but now we’re in full force i-love-cinder territory!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLEASE....

i literally googled maikoa’s name JUST IN CASE SOME BUGGERY WAS GOING ON but i think we’re safe. no hidden double meanings. no secrets....

Her lips pinched together, watching a Faunus with broken antlers lower his head to avoid Maikoa’s gaze, others with similar signs of abuse doing the same. It was a familiar move, one she recognized intimately.

i BEG to be free of this depression!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD. GOD I DO NOT LIKE THIS PART!!!!!! and what do u mean recognised intimately hello??????

Golden eyes scanned the streets, the Faunus all turning their heads away as her gaze fell over them. Most were older than Maikoa. Others were children, their horns and fangs still growing in.

im sad now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SAD,

Pristine steps rose to a porch lined with pots of Angel’s Trumpets, and Cinder’s smile thinned. It almost looked cozy.

NEVER FUCKING MIND WHAT I SAID ABT HIS NAME I WAS WRONG,

“Do you often question your superiors?” Cinder asked.

[...]

But even without the slow shake of his head, Cinder already knew the answer to her own question. There were too few scars to be seen on Maikoa to indicate he had ever refused an order from the White Fang.

theres like.... HISTORY HERE...... and im SO UNBEARABLY CURIOUS as to what it IS. like. im tryna figure out. if her superiority over him stems from her dealing w. the fang, or if. shes actually been. a LOT closer than we know. cinder’s history is SO muddied and even though i know we’ll discover some of it im endlessly curious because I Know Some Other Shit that makes me WONDER.................... is there more to this....

Cinder blinked down at the key, not missing the way her title was tacked on as an afterthought. That same heat from before pooled in her cavernous ribcage. Violence collected at her twitching fingers, old scars across her body flaring with phantom pain.

That old itch again, like every wound rubbed raw.

THERE’S SOMETHING MORE HERE AND I JUST HAVE TO KNOW WHAT PLEASE I WANT TO K N O W

like the interactions w/ cinder and the fang are so specific and im like. i just. whats going on. WHATS HAPPENING. HEWWO????????? am i misreading it.... maybe..... but also...... hm,

“Tell me, Maikoa, do you think Sienna Khan would care if I killed you right now?”

i never said i would write cinder/sienna fic but hey if you put a gun to my head i certainly wouldn’t say NO.....

Around them, the Faunus that had been sheltering close to doorways and alleys had begun to take notice of what was happening. They stood watching openly, their ears all pricked and swiveled towards the scene.

you know what im gonna say it. cinder is just. GOD. she thinks of herself as powered by that sorta burning spite??? that she works for HER MACHINATIONS and boots ppl up the ass if she feels like it but. i just. shes like ‘im not gonna care!!! gonna do my thing and not give a shit’ but she gives so many shits. every day, new shit, and she’s giving it out like she’s at a soup kitchen. of shit. and i LOVE IT GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cinder ‘i have never cared’ fall is actually cinder ‘i have ALWAYS cared ALWAYS’ fall and i BELIEVE IN THIS because u kno. u kno that rly. a lil piece of her aint gonna give her the satisfaction of being a stone cold bitch!!!!!!!!

Cinder had made arrangements with the White Fang’s leader herself, and Sienna Khan wasn’t known for a bleeding heart.

NEVER SAID I’D WRITE IT BUT I NEVER SAID I WOULDN’T WRITE THE CINDER/SIENNA FIC,

On the edges of her peripherals, Cinder saw the people stepping closer, their attention rapturous. It occurred to her that they probably viewed her as a savior, someone to break the shackles of their enslavement to the White Fang. Someone altruistic. Someone not motivated entirely by spite.

They didn’t know her.

The White Fang would send another overseer—they always did—and by that time, the white-hot resentment licking at the inside of her ribcage would have exhausted, her own plans taking her far away. There would be another overseer, the inhabitants would resume their harried lives, and Cinder wouldn’t spare this town a second thought.

Besides, a nagging part of her insisted, this town would probably not survive the coming days.

but theyre ON HER MIND.... IS..... THE THING..... like out of all we’ve seen of her narration so farm she DOES think abt it she IS aware of it and she DOES recognise it and all of this is just her. trying to say to herself ‘you dont care this isnt yr business’ but i just. MMMMMM ITS A LIE. SHES LYIN. and because of [SPOILERS WO~AH] im like. bitch. bitch,

okay moving on from vague cinder feels but i AM right i WONT BE SWAYED,

FROM THE CINDER, TO THE GLYNDA...

She didn’t stop, continuing on with scarcely a moment’s respite, her body drawn by the increasing tug of Cinder’s location.

👈😎👈

And she found, though she’d only hunted Grimm in the past, the trail Cinder left was similar enough, black smoke hanging in the air like a veil.

👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈😎👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈

okay honestly if i keep grabbing bits the rest of this will become a huge emojifest but there’s. there’s a lot of Hints being dropped. just So Many. LIKE JUST A LOT LIKE. 

im rly loving the deserts clashes tho we get some Peak Cinder and Peak Hunter Glynda too its all very 👌👌👌💦

In her soft Beacon years, she had forgotten how a hunt made unnecessary things wilt and die to make room for stronger senses, and even forgotten how to use those stronger senses. Now, it was as if she had never lost them. Her blood didn’t just sing to her now; it roared like the engine of a great machine, and the prickle in her flesh at Cinder’s presence was like needles.

a few things abt this passage:

ONE. i rly like that shift to ‘soft beacon years’, because i think that rly draws a line in the sand (hoho) from glynda ‘i gotta protect beacon its my home i belong here’ goodwitch to the current glynda ‘cinder is my goal beacon is behind me right here right now she is my one focus’ goodwitch. this hyperfocus is, firstly, a mood, and also just a rly good character tidbit we stan this autistic bitch,

TWO: 👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈😎👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈👈 fuck off!!!!!!!! FUCK OFF GOD THAT BIT IS BRAZEN

She had been young then, yet to learn or respect the emotions people expected from her.

WE STAN ONE AUTISTIC BITCH!!!!

For the first time since she’d fully committed herself to the hunt, Glynda felt the prick of displacement. A small, distant part of her wanted to go home.

i cant wait to publish the bingo card i made JUST for offal hunt because rn that shit would be pretty chockablock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A few minutes later, her Scroll buzzed again. Ozpin passed her the details for a secure communication channel to an Atlesian address, belonging to one Special Operative Winter Schnee.

YES HERE SHE COMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE APPROACHES,

okay so THAT’S CHAPTER 5 DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

honestly this one really WAS OUT TO HURT ME and i Hated Every Second but i still am out here knowin Cinder Lies To Herself Most Of All and also Glynda Is One Big Old Dumbass,

thank god winter will maybe salvage this probably maybe not

[sunyoonandstars]

In Between (BTS series) || Chapter 9.2 / Alternative Ending for NAMJOON

This series is based on a request made by the lovely @im-cxnfused. I hope it manages to meet your expectations! 💜

I got very inspired by this request, so it actually turned into a series.

This is one of two alternative endings to said series. Having arrived here, you must have gone to the right, choosing to go towards NAMJOON instead of Jimin. Let’s see how that goes …

Thank you for reading 💜 and staying with this series to the end! It’s much appreciated! Also, feedback is always welcome, in case you didn’t know. I truly hope this ending manages to meet your expectations somehow and doesn’t leave (too many of) you frustrated / upset / disappointed 🙊

Anyways, I won’t give any (more) spoilers. 

Enjoy! 💜 And feel free to leave feedback!

******************************************************

Chapter Index - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.1, 9.2 

Synopsis

You and Namjoon are in a committed relationship. Or so you had thought. When you catch him cheating, however, you decide to take revenge in a way equally brutal. But soon the events take an unforeseen turn, leaving you torn …

Pairing: You x Namjoon, You x Jimin

angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, occasional hints of smut

******************************************************

You nod, pressing your eyes shut, drawing one last, deep breath before you turn to your right. 

Namjoon seems genuinely surprised when you open your eyes to look at him. Slowly, you take the first step towards him, a confident nod of your head answering the unvoiced question his wide eyes virtually scream at you. In obvious disbelief, his jaw drops while his face lights up with incredulous joy. „Really?“, he gasps, walking in your direction to meet you halfway and throw his arms around you, lifting you off the floor. „Yes, Namjoon.“ You break the embrace and take a step back, enabling you to look him straight in the eyes. „I’ll give you one last chance. One last chance to prove you’re still the man I fell in love with.“ „I will, y/n!“, he immediately assures you. „I will do everything in my power to prove to you that I am still worthy of your trust and love. I will atone for my indiscretion for the rest of my life and do whatever I can to make it up to you, I promise! Because, I really, truly, love you more than anything, y/n! I’m not exaggerating when I say I love you more than life itself. I don’t know what I’d do without you, and up until this moment, just now, I believed to have lost you for good. You have no idea how happy you make me by taking me back, y/n. I am seriously the happiest man alive on this whole, wide world right now. Thank you. Thank you, for giving me another chance.“ Still grinning broadly, Namjoon takes your hands into his and places gentle kisses on your scabbed knuckles, all the while looking you deep in the eyes, his gleaming with pure bliss and affection. A fond smile curving your lips, you watch him, your heart painfully twisting in your chest, torn between the happiness you feel at the sight of him right now and the hurtful memories of his past wrongdoings, haunting this reunion like dark shadows of an unfortunate future already towering over you. No, you push back your doubts. No, this is the right choice. You have to see if this, if you, can still work. Your heart had told you so. Told you to chose Namjoon once again. The past two years couldn't have been for nothing. They must be worth something, just like the promises he made, the plans you had for the shared years still ahead of you. Besides, you really have not much of a choice. After all, it’s not just your future at stake now. Not anymore. Yes. This must have been the right choice. You’re sure of it. Almost. Conscience-stricken, you turn around to look back at Jimin who has already left. His back to the two of you, he strides across the bridge, shoulders hunched, hands buried deep in the pockets of his jeans. He must be freezing. „I feel so sorry for him“, Namjoon mumbles into your hair, one arm wrapped around your waist, his words conveying nothing but sincerity. Yes. Sorry. That’s how you feel towards Jimin. No more, no less. Or at least that’s what you try to convince your pounding heart of. To no avail, though. You can’t keep lying to yourself. „Namjoon, I’m sorry. But there is something I have to say to him. I just can’t let him leave like this. I’ll be right back, okay?“ He nods, his eyes still fixed on Jimin’s stooping figure, slowly edging away. Clutching Jimin’s pebble in your aching hand inside the pocket of his coat you’re still wearing, you run after him, your legs carrying you as fast as they can, until you finally catch up to him, ready to collapse, struggling for breath, your throat hurting from the cold air.  „Jimin“, you gasp, barely catching him by the rim of his sweatshirt, incapable of taking even one more step. Flustered, he turns around, his face showing astonishment, anger, and an unbearable magnitude of pure pain. Seeing you, he instantly regains control over his emotions, his expression quickly changing into a cold, impassive mask, his eyes narrowing as he takes in your bent figure, still panting heavily. „What?“, he asks, his voice dead. „Your coat“, you barely get the words out, your lungs continuing to ache. „You can keep it“, Jimin simply shrugs, but you take it off nonetheless, handing it over only with the utmost reluctance, though, your hands not seeming to be willing to let go of the piece of clothing even when Jimin has long accepted it. So you stay, unmoving, both holding onto his feather down parka, staring into each other’s eyes as if aiming to burn holes into the opposite’s soul. „I’m so sorry, Jimin.“ He shows no reaction. „I know, it’s horribly selfish of me to say this, but I believe you should know in spite of everything.“ Your voice dries up, choking on the tears flooding your eyes. „Know what?“, Jimin inquires after seconds have passed. „I think I owe you at least my honesty“, you finally go on. „So, in the interest of full disclosure and the hope that it will somehow help you, us, to move on and maybe find back to our friendship one day in the not too distant future, I feel I need to tell you that I truly love you, Park Jimin. I still do. I always will. My feelings for you were real all along, nothing of it was ever fake or forced. And they will remain with me as long as I live, I’m sure of it. And I’m not telling you this to justify my choices or behavior. I am well aware of the fact that I mistreated you, and I hate myself for the way things came to be between us. I should never have let it go so far. I’m not saying that I regret being with you as more than a friend. I was happy during those weeks. You made me happy. Jimin, you are without a doubt one of the kindest, most loving, dedicated, strong and beautiful people I have ever met. And I know I don’t even deserve you, but in my egoism, I still wish we could just carry on what we started, just be together and —“ „Then let’s!“, he cuts you off, eyes suddenly alight with excitement, grasping your hand. Unwillingly, you pull away from his touch, peering at Namjoon who is watching your interactions intently. „Let’s just do that, y/n. Let’s be together. Namjoon will understand. Let’s just continue as if nothing happened“, he implores you, his pleading tone stinging your heart. Dropping your gaze, you slowly shake your head. „No. I’m sorry, Jimin, but we can’t do that.“ „Why not? Why can’t we?“ „Because there’s something I haven’t told you. Any of you. Namjoon doesn’t know either. I found out the day before I walked in on him and that woman. I was planning on telling him after my trip, but —“ „What? What is it, y/n!?“, he stops you in mid-sentence, having grabbed you by the shoulders with both hands, trying to catch your gaze, his eyes immediately wide with concern and panic. „Calm down, Jimin. It’s not like I’m gonna die or anything“, you scoff. But he doesn't seem to deem your remark especially funny. „Stop beating around the bush, y/n. I want to know, right now. What is it you have been keeping to yourself?“ You swallow hard, trying to gather the courage to say your following words out loud for the first time. „Jimin, I’m pregnant.“
 You can literally watch his jaw drop, all color draining from his shocked features. „You — You —“ Obviously struggling for words, Jimin merely points to your belly, his face frozen in a haunting state between dismay and delight. „Yes, Jimin, there’s a living being growing inside me that partly carries Kim Namjoon’s DNA.“ Still incredulous, his gaze wanders from your womb up to your eyes and back. „You’re serious?“, he eventually manages to say. „As serious as it gets. Why would I joke about something like this? It’s happening, Jimin, I’m inevitably getting huge and becoming a mother.“ „Wow.“ „Yeah, wow.“ For about a minute you stand opposite each other in silence, unmoving, until Jimin finally shakes off his paralysis, wresting his coat from your hands, still clutched around its sleeve, to wrap it around you once again. „Have you completely lost your mind, y/n!?“, he then unexpectedly raises his voice at you, apparently genuinely angry. „Running around like this, half-naked in this cold weather, when you are with child? Didn’t you think of your baby at all when you ran off like that?“ „Jimin, I didn’t think, alright? I’m not yet at all times fully aware of the fact that I’m gonna be a mother. I guess I’ll get used to it somehow, sooner or later. Used to not only think for myself anymore. But I’m not ready yet, okay?“, you scream back at him, your voice shrill and far too loud. But you don’t care about the passers-by staring, not even if Namjoon hears you. Tears now run down your cheeks, no strength left in you to hold them back for even only one more second. „The past few weeks have been intense. Too much, frankly. Confusing. Hurtful. Life changing. After I found out Namjoon was cheating — God knows if it was even his first time and how far things really went between him and that woman — It was like I was suddenly out of touch with my own life. I’m not even sure if I did it subconsciously or deliberately, but from the moment on when I walked in on them, I kind of blanked out all my thoughts and feelings of and for Namjoon, our past, and future. I forgot that I was carrying his child. I forgot. Can you believe it? Yes, I was sick, all the time. Remember? I puked like crazy. But we all thought it was psychosomatic nausea, or because I didn’t eat or something. And, yes, I was tired all the time. But I cried nonstop during the first few days. So, it didn’t seem that strange, right? Thinking back, I was so obviously pregnant, it’s almost funny, really. But I just didn’t wanna cope with it at the time, I guess. It’s not like I really forgot. I knew I was pregnant. Things like that don’t just slip your mind“, you scoff, Jimin simply staring at you, mouth agape. „You know, I had so much to deal with in the past few weeks, I couldn’t deal with becoming a mother, or maybe even a single parent, too. I had to get my act together first. So, I guess momentarily editing out the pregnancy part from the plot was, I don’t know, reasonable? The doing of some subliminal protective mechanism taking over my brain or something?“ You shrug helplessly, half laughing half crying. „Anyway, that’s why I have to give my relationship with Namjoon at least one last chance. I have to see if we can make it work. I won’t force anything, because no child can grow up happily and healthily in a forced marriage, hence a phony family. I don’t want that for this little guy. I want him or her to have parents who don’t only love their child, but also each other. If that’s not an option I’d rather raise this kid all by myself. Do you understand?“ „Yes“, Jimin nods, his expression serious. „I think that sounds very mature.“ „Thanks, I guess.“ Blushing, not even entirely sure why, you avert your face while Jimin leans in to gently pull the parka’s huge, faux furred hood over your head to protect your face against the gusting wind. „That was quite a monologue“, he smirks after the both of you had stood in silence for another painful minute. „Yeah. Sorry about that.“ „Don’t apologize. I just you think should have shared this revelatory moment with Namjoon, not with me, y/n.“ Tears, welling up once again, drown your voice, so instead you shake your head in response, avoiding Jimin’s eye. „Go to him, y/n. He must be worried out of his mind after watching the show you put on just now. Go to Namjoon, tell him about his child.“ Doing your best not to turn into a teary mess again, you ferociously chew on your bottom lip, feeling for Jimin’s rock in the depth of the left jacket pocket. Finally, you find it, immediate relief coming over you as you feel its cold, smooth surface against the palm of your hand. Questioningly, Jimin raises an eyebrow when you hold out your fist to him. „Open your hand“, you order him. Hesitantly, he does as you say, his eyes growing wide as he realizes what you just handed him. „I want you to keep that“, you explain, mustering neither the courage nor the strength to look him in the eye as you speak your next words. „I’m not gonna tell you to wait for me, Jimin. I don’t want you to waste any more of your time on me. I want you to live and love as freely as you please. I’m just saying that we never know what may happen. And that my heart belongs to you. It has ever since you picked this very stone up at the beach that day, and it always will. So, see this pebble as my heart and treat it well. Maybe it will bring you good luck, just like you always believed it would. I hope it does.“ Waving, forcing a smile, you look over at Namjoon when you notice him staring. „I have to go, Jimin. Please, get home safely and quickly. Try not to catch a cold. I’d hate to ruin your comeback.“ „Don’t worry.“ He smiles weakly. „I’m stronger than I look.“ „I know you are. I never doubted it.“ He shrugs. „Take care. Don’t do anything stupid. And, please, let’s stay friends.“ Before turning to go, you get on the tip of your toes, following a spontaneous impulse, and give Jimin a little peck on the cheek, leaving him flustered as you hurry back to Namjoons side, grateful for the icy wind quickly drying your tears. „What was that all about?“, Namjoon welcomes you. „You screamed and shouted. Did you have a fight?“ „No, not at all“, you shake your head. „Well, it looked like a fight“, he objects, suspiciously eying Jimin over his shoulder while he links arms with you and the two of you start walking in the opposite direction. „Not everything is always what it looks like, Namjoonie.“ A sigh escapes your lips. Just like it used to be, you think to yourself as you stroll across the bridge, Namjoon’s long arm across your shoulder. Almost. There is always going to be a bitter aftertaste to every joyful moment you both will share from now on, you then realize, a shiver running down your spine. „Joon, I have to tell you something. It’s kind of a big deal, actually, but I don’t want you to make a big fuss about it or anything.“ „Okay. Spill.“

THREE YEARS LATER...

„Now, again, Hyun-shik-ah, who is your daddy?“ Pouting, the little boy points to Jimin on whose lap he’s comfortably seated. „Wellllll …“, you tilt your head, having trouble to hold back amused laughter, as does Jimin, obviously. He is pressing his lips firmly shut, eyes gleaming with affection, looking at the little guy as if he could eat him alive right here and now. „Yes, he’s your daddy, too, of course.” „My favorite daddy“, Hyun-shik snaps, crossing his arms across his tiny chest, rosy lips pursed. Contritely, you look over at Namjoon, who, to your great relief, seems to be just as enamored by Hyun-shik and his little antics as you are. „And who is your other daddy?“ Reluctantly, the little one’s eyes land on Namjoon. „Yes, that’s right. Who’s that?“, you ask, reassuringly patting Hyun-shik’s glossy black hair. „I’m your daddy Namjoon, isn’t that right?“, Namjoon tries to break the ice, smiling cutely, the famous dimples showing which he passed on to the three-year-old of his own flesh and blood he is carefully approaching at this very moment. The little guy shyly pushes back into Jimin’s arms, hiding his handsome little face behind a curtain of shiny raven hair, his tiny black eyes wide and cheeks flushed. „I’m sorry, Namjoon, but he’s going through this phase right now, where he doesn’t let ‚strangers‘ near him. And you become practically a stranger to him as soon as he doesn’t see you for like three days in a row. He is just very shy right now.“ „You don’t have to make excuses, y/n, I know I haven’t seen him in a while. And he’s too young to understand“, Namjoon simply smiles, retreating and taking a seat next to you on the sofa, still fondly watching little Hyun-shik who has turned to Jimin, whispering something into his dad's ear, impatiently pulling at his hair when Jimin doesn’t come close enough quickly enough. An unconscious smile curves your lips while you observe their loving interactions, Hyun-shik and Jimin being lost in their own world, as usual, now quietly laughing at a joke they don't share with you. „He’s growing up so fast“, Namjoon sighs. „Yes. And he’s such a clever boy. Learning something new every day. That must be your genomes coming through“, you banter, eliciting a soft chuckle from Namjoon. „I should come and see him more often.“ „Yes, you should. I’m sure he’d grow to accept and love you quickly if you’d only visit on a more regular basis.“ Namjoon nods. „Maybe. But it’s not that easy, especially now that I have my solo career on the side.“ „I know, I know. I don’t intend to pressure you or give you a guilty conscience, Namjoon. You’re a passionate, successful man, I respect that. But you shouldn't forget that you can’t have everything.“ „I know, I know.“ For a few minutes, the two of you silently sit side by side, simply watching Jimin and Hyun-shik playing with toy cars, racing along an invisible course across the carpet of your living room. Until ... „Guess who is hooooome!?“, a loud voice suddenly rips throw the peaceful atmosphere. „Daddy Jin!“, Hyun-shik shouts out, his round little face lighting up at the sight of Seokjin appearing in the door frame, carrying several tightly packed shopping bags. Regardless of said bags, Hyun-shik throws himself into the extended arms of Jin, sending the both of them almost tumbling to the ground. „Ouch“, Namjoon scoffs at his son’s rejoice. „Well, Jin he sees almost every day at least for a few hours. You, on the other hand, he hasn't seen in … What? Five weeks?“ „Alright, alright, I’ll make an effort to come by more often“, he promises, his eyes still fixed on the three-year-old now helping Jin carry the heavy bags towards the kitchen. „Guess what I’m gonna cook for us today, Hyun-shik-ah?“ Smiling to yourself you watch Jin and your son disappear into the corridor. „I’m headed to the kitchen to help Jin out. As you very well know our Hyun-shik can be quite a handful“, Jimin says, leaning over the sofa’s backrest next to you. „Is there anything you want, baby? Anything you need? That herbal tea you’re crazy for these days? Or some watermelon maybe?“ „No, thanks, Jimin honey“, you smile, turning towards him to meet his lips in a quick kiss. „Alright“, he sighs, leaning down even further to tenderly caress your round belly before he turns to go. „I’ll be in the kitchen if you or Mini-Park need anything, y/n baby. The guys are coming over for dinner soon. Jungkookie promised he’d bring that snack you crave. What was it again?“

THE END

Thank you all for reading and sticking with this series until the end!!! 🙏🏻💜

I hope you enjoyed this final chapter and the way it turned out! I really hope I didn’t disappoint any / too many of you who expected an actual happy ending your y/n and Namjoon. Just like I didn’t have an actual outline for the other alternative ending, I didn’t have this one exactly planned out, either, but rather just went with the flow, to see where it would take me …I intended to somehow force a scenario in which Namjoon and y/n end up happily together. But it just didn’t feel right / seem reasonable or natural. And the pregnancy thing was actually the product of a spontaneous idea. It surprised me, too, but in the end, it somehow made sense. + I never said in this version y/n would actually end up with Namjoon. I merely said you / y/n would choose to go right, towards Namjoon, and pick him at that very moment. from there onwards the story kind of developed a life of its own. Sorry, not sorry. + (I hope? lol) Anyways, I really hope you, who chose to go right and stay loyal to Namjoon despite everything he did, are still somehow satisfied with the outcome and don’t hate me too much. 😭💜Feel free to leave feedback and check out my Masterlist for more BTS fiction.

Anyway, thanks again for staying with this series! I hope you enjoyed it! take care! I wish you all the best and a very nice day! 💜

P.S.: There’ll probably be a BONUS CHAPTER added soon, for everyone who’s interested, telling the story of your / y/n’s first meeting with Jimin and the events that followed …

[kappasigmalife]

Desolate Caladium: Chp 4 Is this love or war?

Desolate Caladium: Chp 5

Is this love or war?

Callum had been very distant since he kissed me, all he does is keep to himself while were living out in the cabin, hes rebuilt the wall and stayed out for odd hours of the day only coming home at night. When he kissed me, he said he may love me, im so confused, its like theres multiple sides to him at every turn, the stoic, the loving, and the violent. I wish I could help him through this but I have no idea what goes on in a mages head. Evelyn said that the main problem comes from his lack of control over mana as a mage, but training for five years under a master should of helped him.  This had only happened one time before when he and trev were out in the woods hunting and he got hurt while callum was looking for food. A beast came out of nowhere and callum just snapped breaking its neck in cold blood. She was watching from afar and saw the look in his eyes that told her to stay behind or she may be the next victim. I knew a simple hug wouldn’t help him snap out of the rage, it was something we had to watch and see. The more I think about it the more I notice that I do care about him. When we watched the snow he pulled away from me saying he was sorry for kissing me.

“its not something I can control, I don’t know what I feel anymore, all I know is I feel the need to help you every chance I get.” “then stay with me, your going to do the best you can.” “and what if I am the one to hurt you next”

That made me think all over again what It meant to hurt another person, weve traveled and hid for a long time since the death of the king, and were running out of money. Callum works day in and day out, never sleeping and trying to keep up the energy just to live. He visits Alfin and evelyn in the hospital repeatedly looking for the need to apologize but cant do a damn thing about it. Alfin wants a rematch but callum wont stand for it while hes recuperating. The madness I see in his eyes is nothing but a trivial matter in that state, it’s the power he unleashes that comprimises the sanctity of safety. Evelyn visits me in the day to talk and wants to travel with us in spring as a group considering none of us are capable of being on our own.

“its for the best desmond, were not here for any other reason but to survive in this bout of life.” “doing so will keep us in less danger, so please understand that I need to run this by callum.” “of course he will fully give support on a yes or no, but please we don’t have much time to spare.”

“I know and I will talk to him as soon as I can evelyn, its just he doesn’t seem to wanna talk anymore” “I know desmond, he must be sorting his feelings out, im sure he will be back to normal soon.” over the days going by, evelyn has shown me how to fight with the sickle and even sparred with me a few times, while I am still a novice I will learn to get better. She even made a chain for me to use as a long range weapon and got me a grip so my hand doesn’t get shredded. It was nice of her as I know with alfin in the hospital he wont be much help around so offering her food and a place to talk is fine with her. She does seem a bit worried of both of her friends and doesn’t seem to talk about trev as much as everyone else claims to talk about him as well. She says its cuase hes always distant and would normally just hang out with callum more often than not, but that might be cause they come from similar backgrounds and they saw each other as friends through commonality. Trev was the one who joined him during his training as a guard in case things went south.  She said he was always a man after money and almost got callum expelled cause he was taking payment for guard duty of other mages despite it being against the schools rule of compensation.

Elsewhere in the kingdom, trev appears before a group of elders about his performance. He has been wanted for taking payment against orders and may face expulsion from the knights guard for it. The council perceives him as a threat due to his heritage and bloodline, being a vampire is bad enough but a orc dwarf mix is unheard of even in peasant families.

“dear trevant, why do you think its fine to take wares from those you work under as a job.” “to make a living, nothing more nothing less, I find no need to not accept a payment for a better job.”

“we found the pendent in your quarters, is this what you accepted as payment from that wanted murderer?” “I accepted the pendant as a gift from caladium when he left for training before I was sent over, a personal gift from a friend and comrade, nothing more.” “you think we will fall for that garbage, you let a murderer live regardless of the orders, high treason is what you committed, hence forth the elders have decided to exile you not only from the knights guard but from the kingdom entirely.” “fine with me this place was getting to hectic for my taste anyway, just another group of old folk looking to take down a new generation of progressive movement, heres my weapon and badge, im keeping the armor.” “be sure you will be escorted this evening outside the gate, wehre you go from there is your own issue.” “well thank goodness, I thought id be still here begging for mercy.”

Trev is led out to the citys outskirts and led away from the guards. As he looks back he shrugs his shoulders and shoulders his svardstav looking to the north. He recounts that he is happy to be done with being a knight as he found it too bothersome to save anyone based on an order and many of his so called targets were innocent bystanders, who happen to have crap loads of money. Reaching into his satchel he notices how much money hes got.

“thank you caladium and your magic stash.” trev walks down the dirt path as the snow begins to fall looking upwards he decides to head north before the holiday rush begins, knowing full well being alone on holidays is quite a pain in the ass. He traveled to a small lodging taking a black horse and leaving a small sack of gold in its pen stealing one of the swords from the mans armory and hauling off to the north.

I never thought much of the fact that callum was focusing on himself until it donned on me that he doesn’t have anyone to fight on even footing, at least without going crazy. His fight with trev showed me how skilled he is but also how far hes willing to go for the sake of saving his friend. i see the look in his eyes knowing full well he wont be around all the time for us and that the token of giving up a priceless artifact just to save our lives was not to taken lightly. He came to me for the first time in a few days asking if I wanted to go out to the trade market and shop around. Despite the lack of money, he wanted to get out of the woods and enjoy ourselves for once before the tourists pile in. evelyn chose to stay behind and wait for alfin to fully recover, I promised to get her a new coat as her royal one will remain to conspicuous against finding areas to hide out. I notice though that even as we walked, callum was quiet as ever but was at least smiling at me for the least.

“evelyn been teaching you well, your steps are quieter than before, and your getting more fit.” “well yeah more so im happy that your finally talking to me.” “I know, ive been thinking about what I did and how I either acted stupidly or if it truly was for the best I did it.”

“you didn’t have to do it you know, you didn’t have be kiss me like you needed to prove something.” “well it was an heat of passion, I was blinded by emotion and thought that maybe I had some feelings spilling out, but that wasn’t the case.”

He grabbed me by the arm and dragged me to one of the shops, it was an apothecary that had rare herbs and minerals from far off lands. As I gazed around I could feel the energy was pure and whimsical to say the least. Callum had wanted this to be special for me, so he called in a favor from his friends outside the kingdom to make up for being so distant. In the back he set up a special meal for us with my favorite food. He lit the candles using magic and tossed a sphere to create an artificial moon over us. The night went on for hours as we enjoyed out meal and attempted to move past the  problems that we were facing with new comrades and the guards after us.

“never in my life would I feel safer than with you.” “no matter how far one of us goes, the other shall follow til the very end.” “despite the time, I feel as though we knew one another once before.” “that might be the case, but regardless, here we are now.”

I felt his foot going on top of mine not letting me go and proceeded to take me by the hand as the light dimmed into the room. He swayed me across as if it was a royal banquet and held me close. I felt overwhelmed as no one has ever embraced me as such before. The night felt like an eternity as I felt his gentle hands on mine, he rocked me in the room all night kissing my forehead and telling me that he was right to kiss me.

“no more will I be afraid, you were the first man to show me the look of innocence.” “and you are the man who showed me how to be a stronger person, to protect and believe that I am meant for more.” “I missed you so much over those five years, I always wanted to see you but the kingdom had turned on itself and I couldn’t find a way out.” “and I only wished to pay you back the way you did for me so many times.” as we walked out of the building he took my hand and held me close, I never seen him smile so much from one night of fun. He pulled me as we started rushing in the streets, bringing me to a wooden path.

“I wanted to ensure that this night doesn’t end too quickly, so I found a spot we can relax at.” “you really don’t have to do all this.” “trust me youll love this.” as he pulled me through the brush and down the path, I could tell that things were getting somehow warmer, like not just in the air or his smile. I finally felt like someone cared after so long. When we reached the end of the path I could only see a massive emerald fire burning in a pit and blanket sprawled out. callum sat asking me to join him and showed me what he had done.

“I used some old runes I had to make a everchanging flame, as it burns it shows the emotion we both convey.” “that’s really sweet, I can feel its heat from here.” callum kissed me saying that he was happy I loved the idea, the two of us kissed as we both saw the flames going from green to a yellow, and then to a deep red.

“crimson red, the color of love and adoration , all that I give for you is what I wish to hold.” “so long at you are close to me I can feel nothing but the upmost care for a man I see as my eternity.” Callum laid me down and undid my jacket seeing me sweating from the fires heat. He swiftly took his off and continued to caress my neck. I felt my arms grabbing his shirt tearing it slightly. When I apologized, he looked at me with an intense look.

“no need to think you hurt me, for im going to love you until the dawn breaks.” he took my shirt off holding my hands as he played with my nipples and teased my pants. I couldn’t help but look as he tore his off showing off his husky physique and sweated chest, his hair down and his brown eyes staring deeply into me like garnet nuggets in a kiln ready to be smoldered. He laid me down and unzipped my pants and began sucking me off. I could feel no better sensation than ive ever felt. I noticed his pants getting tighter and I unzipped them revealing this throbbing dagger, wholeheartedly grabbing and stroking it making him moan. I pulled the pants off as we stared at one another naked under the moonlight as callum waved his hands and wrapped the flames of love around us.

“I want you to see the magic of both humanity and the love I burn for you.” I watched as the flames began enveloping into a vortex around us and he laid on top of me his his hair parted and smiling at me. I felt as he began teasing my virgin hole with his hands and tongue, he was willing to do so much for me, and I could see the man I saw on horseback all that time ago, ready to make love for the first time. he held my hand as he made love to me, thrusting gently and slowly grabbing my waist and kissing me calling me name. the flames changing from red to yellow to a heavenly white. It was a perfect site to behold around me but the real sight was the man I wanted to see gazing into my eyes. He never topped pleasuring me even when he was the one doing the work, he made me feel so good that night. He made me climax right before him and as he waved his hand the flames receded to the pit and continued to burn. With us embracing the sun began to rise.

“that really was a magical endeavor callum, thank you.” he couldn’t hear as he had fallen asleep, I parted his and kissed his forehead and nuzzled up to him feeling his heartbeat as we slumbered well into the day.

[kpsoa97xs-blog]

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