#but imo this applies to pretty much any universe

[writingwife-83]

Hello! 🙂

For you, what would be Ben and Rey's gestures, habits and actions to show love, affection and care for each other in their married life?

Ooh a fun question! ☺️ I think for Ben he would do general caretaking for Rey. It’s not a new hc I know, but I do think he’d do a lot of cooking for her. And also having snacks on hand for when she gets hangry lol. I think he’d be quick to step in and take care of something she finds stressful, or at least help with it. And if she wasn’t feeling good for any reason, he’d be All Over That. 😆 making her tea, drawing a bath, getting her favorite cozy blankets, etc. He’d know that for most of her life there was no one there to care for and comfort her, so he’d want to do that.

And as for Rey, I think she’d show Ben love by reassuring him often. He didn’t get that as much as he needed when he was growing up. He was afraid he wasn’t good enough and would disappoint the people he loved. So she’d want to make sure he never felt that way again. Rey would remind Ben of the good he’s done and remind him of how much she trusts him and how safe she feels with him. 🥹

And it probably goes without saying, but both of them would also be very physically affectionate. They’d be so touch starved after years of basically being alone. All the cuddles and kisses for them! I can imagine them coming home after spending hours apart and just laying down and holding each other for a good twenty minutes just to reconnect and feel that peace and calm again. ❤️‍🩹

[anghraine]

Okay, breaking my principles hiatus again for another fanfic rant despite my profound frustration w/ Tumblr currently:

I have another post and conversation on DW about this, but while pretty much my entire dash has zero patience with the overtly contemptuous Hot Fanfic Takes, I do pretty often see takes on Fanfiction's Limitations As A Form that are phrased more gently and/or academically but which rely on the same assumptions and make the same mistakes.

IMO even the gentlest, and/or most earnest, and/or most eruditely theorized takes on fanfiction as a form still suffer from one basic problem: the formal argument does not work.

I have never once seen a take on fanfiction as a form that could provide a coherent formal definition of what fanfiction is and what it is not (formal as in "related to its form" not as in "proper" or "stuffy"). Every argument I have ever seen on the strengths/weaknesses of fanfiction as a form vs original fiction relies to some extent on this lack of clarity.

Hence the inevitable "what about Shakespeare/Ovid/Wide Sargasso Sea/modern takes on ancient religious narratives/retold fairy tales/adaptation/expanded universes/etc" responses. The assumptions and assertions about fanfiction as a form in these arguments pretty much always should apply to other things based on the defining formal qualities of fanfic in these arguments ("fanfiction is fundamentally X because it re-purposes pre-existing characters and stories rather than inventing new ones" "fanfiction is fundamentally Y because it's often serialized" etc).

Yet the framing of the argument virtually always makes it clear that the generalizations about fanfic are not being applied to Real Literature. Nor can this argument account for original fics produced within a fandom context such as AO3 that are basically indistinguishable from fanfic in every way apart from lacking a canon source.

At the end of the day, I do not think fanfic is "the way it is" because of any fundamental formal qualities—after all, it shares these qualities with vast swaths of other human literature and art over thousands of years that most people would never consider fanfic. My view is that an argument about fanfic based purely on form must also apply to "non-fanfic" works that share the formal qualities brought up in the argument (these arguments never actually apply their theories to anything other than fanfic, though).

Alternately, the formal argument could provide a definition of fanfic (a formal one, not one based on judgment of merit or morality) that excludes these other kinds of works and genres. In that case, the argument would actually apply only to fanfic (as defined). But I have never seen this happen, either.

So ultimately, I think the whole formal argument about fanfic is unsalvageably flawed in practice.

Realistically, fanfiction is not the way it is because of something fundamentally derived from writing characters/settings etc you didn't originate (or serialization as some new-fangled form, lmao). Fanfiction as a category is an intrinsically modern concept resulting largely from similarly modern concepts of intellectual property and auteurship (legally and culturally) that have been so extremely normalized in many English-language media spaces (at the least) that many people do not realize these concepts are context-dependent and not universal truths.

Fanfic does not look like it does (or exist as a discrete category at all) without specifically modern legal practices (and assumptions about law that may or may not be true, like with many authorial & corporate attempts to use the possibility of legal threats to dictate terms of engagement w/ media to fandom, the Marion Zimmer Bradley myth, etc).

Fanfic does not look like it does without the broader fandom cultures and trends around it. It does not look like it does without the massive popularity of various romance genres and some very popular SF/F. It does not look like it does without any number of other social and cultural forces that are also extremely modern in the grand scheme of things.

The formal argument is just so completely ahistorical and obliviously presentist in its assumptions about art and generally incoherent that, sure, it's nicer when people present it politely, but it's still wrong.

[2stepadmiral]

Hardly a hot take, but I didn’t like acolyte. It’s the first Star Wars show that was legitimately bad (book of boba fett, Mando season 3, and Obi Wan I would consider guilty pleasures at worst). Overall, it had a lot of bad writing, cringy acting, and poor storytelling. Yes, there were some good parts, like Qimir’s character, the fight choreography, onscreen debut of cortosis, and Sol (until about episode 7), but for me, they weren’t good enough to make up for the lacking areas.

A few highlight critiques I have:

I hated the overall theme of anti-Jediism. Not because I don’t believe that the Jedi should be criticized, I just think that the way it was handled was nonsensical and idiotic. The flaws of the Jedi by the clone war were primarily complacency to a degree that they are basically puppets of the Senate, and stale teachings that haven’t changed in however many centuries or millennia that lead to Darth Vader. These flaws are issues that the Jedi should’ve recognized and tried to address, but they don’t warrant a total demonization of the institution as a whole. That’s the tragedy of the fall of the Jedi, the fact that they could’ve prevented their fall if they had simply been self critical and introspective. In acolyte, you have what effectively feels like real world political issues and criticisms forced into this universe and forcibly applied to the lens of the Jedi flaws. It isn’t explained why the Jedi being an institution is in and of itself a characteristic of the order, let alone a flaw, except from the perspective of the stranger, who sees himself as a victim of the Jedi because they won’t let him be a galaxy conquering Sith psychopath, which is a pretty weak argument.

Too many of the main characters are obnoxious and completely unlikeable. Neither mae nor osha feel like actual characters with actual arcs or development, just caricatures who make poor decisions and throw temper tantrums at anything they don’t like. Yord is an inflexible rule stickler who never develops any character besides rigidly following the rules and expressing bland disapproval at anyone who doesn’t follow his lead. Indara and Venestra were like Yord on steroids; they both reminded me unpleasantly of Luminara in TCW, but somehow with less personality. Sol, Jecki, and Qimir were the only characters that were interesting and somewhat likable.

The lightsaber designs are bland and boring. Before now, lightsaber hilts were always unique and had a profound or at least noticeable elegance to the design (Rey’s yellow lightsaber and Ezra’s blaster hybrid lightsaber are exceptions, those two were bland or ugly designs IMO). Pretty much every lightsaber in acolyte looks like interchangeable foot long pieces of discolored pipe with different cuts at the emitters, but apart from that, they looked pretty interchangeable.

The witches are cringe and poorly written. If these witches are supposed to be dark and creepy and potentially evil, why are they not just night sisters? If they’re supposed to be benevolent witches, Why did they act so night sister like? They play too small role in the story to be an entirely new kind of witch, and trying to blend nightsisters and other tribes of Dathomir witches was just confusing. We don’t understand their motives, and if we’re supposed to sympathize with them, it’s made very difficult by the fact that they’re pretty openly cultish and their intentions, for the twins seem pretty sinister. Overall, their inclusion just felt like a very weak and forced attempt to quickly add layers of demonization to the Jedi, and most of their time on screen countered that intention by making them cringy (that ceremony was beyond weird) and frankly unsympathetic due to their openly controlling and not so subtle Sinister undertones.

The ‘twist’ made no sense. Torbin was so homesick after a mere two months in the field doing drudge work that he thought bringing these girls would get him home? And he felt guilty to the point where he willingly and knowingly drank poison as atonement because… Sol understandably struck at one of the witches when she started turning into a shadow demon? And seemed to be attacking one of the girls they were there to save? And the witches, in retaliation/defense, tried to kill him? And then possessed a Wookie Jedi to try and make him kill them? And then they all died when they were expelled from Kelnacca’s mind? What? 

I hated the bleeding scene. I love the concept of bleeding kyber crystals, and previous executions, like in Jedi survivor, and in the Vader comics, were freaking awesome. But in both of those instances, you had fallen Jedi having the focus all of their rage and pain into a crystal that was actively fighting back, and as a result, success usually meant in explosion of Force energy. This may the concept fuel more like a tragedy when a crystal was bled, and it made it seem like even building a Sith light saber was in of itself a trial. Osha casually and unintentionally bleeding Sol’s crystal while strangling him makes bleeding seem ludicrously easy or makes it seem like she is casually more powerful than Vader, even while he was using a Darkside Nexus, and then the light saber blade changing color while active after she bleeds it trivializes the whole process.

The fact is that the vergence thing does raise questions about Anakin’s unique nature in the Force. They could have said that Brendok might have some kind of Nexus in the Force, and that the witches were able to use this potentially unnatural focus of Force energy to affect the artificial conception and birth of an unusually powerful being, and could’ve left a clear implication that while the twins together might have been almost as powerful as Anakin, even together they would have been less powerful. Using the term ‘vergence’ immediately implies that they are on the same level as Anakin in strength, as well as in unique nature. It’s sort of like Kyp Durron in the early EU, randomly introducing a Force user who is such a prodigy that he easily outstrips even master Luke. It strips beloved characters of their importance.

It also raises questions about how unique Plagueis’ work is. I haven’t read the book yet, but from my knowledge of Darth Plagueis, his obsession with immortality is what led him to learn how to influence the Force to create life. His whole pursuit flew directly in the face of the Rule of Two, Which is part of what made him interesting. Now, the implication is that he stole the idea from the witches, which robs him of some of his appeal and makes his work seem like a cheap knock off instead of a bold and desperate gambit that fleshes out his character and further contributes to Palpatine. Yes, they may remedy this in future seasons if it is renewed, but for right now, it’s raising questions.

Basil. That rodent annoyed the hell out of me every time he was on screen after episode 4.

Overall, the show had potential, but I feel like poor choices in writing dragged it down and ruined the execution. At the end of the day, I literally just want to watch an enjoyable Star Wars show that I can get into, and acolyte kept dragging me out of it with these and other issues.

[fuglyhorses]

i dont know anything about horses why did i scroll through this blog for so long. i have seen so many bad horses, what makes a good horse

Because it's interesting! Depends on the horse and what you want it to do. Overall basic conformation rules that apply to every horse:

The back should appear relatively level from shoulder to butt, with a slight dip in the middle. Too much of a dip is a swayback, no dip is a roach back, both are probably painful and bad. The shoulders can appear higher, but the butt should not be the obvious high point. There's some leeway on this last point for young horses who usually grow into it at least a little.

The neck should be a smooth line on top and bottom. It shouldn't appear to dip in front of the shoulders, and the horse should carry it in a smoothly arched posture while moving around, especially while moving faster than a walk. There should be visible muscle in the neck. It should be long enough that the horse can easily arch it enough so that the forehead is vertical. The head should never be longer than the neck, but in some heavy draft breeds and stocky ponies they'll sometimes look about the same.

All four legs should be vertical and straight when viewed from directly in front or behind. The joints should be as close to in line as possible. When viewed from the side, the long bones of the front legs should be in line above and below the knee. The knee will bulge out a bit, but any joint that looks abnormally large or out of line is an issue.

When looking at the hind legs, the long bone in the lower leg should be as vertical as possible, but this varies with posture. Judge this when a horse is standing calmly on level ground and bearing its weight evenly. The upper long bone in the hind leg absolutely should not be vertical in a neutral weight-bearing posture (when the lower bone is vertical). The closer to vertical, the more wrong it is. If it looks like the horse can easily bend and flex all joints in the hind leg, and the lower bone is often held comfortably vertical but the upper one isn't, you're good. If the movement, legs, and topline are fine, the hip is also probably fine, but you can get really technical with hip angles if you want. It should look like a triangle. Don't worry about it yet.

The feet should all be pointing straight forward, not facing each other or out. The pastern, the short bone just above the hoof, should be long enough to flex as they walk, but not so long that it looks like it's sagging. All four pasterns should be at about the same angle (though they can appear slightly more vertical in the back without issues) and that angle should match the angle of the base of the neck at the shoulder. This is a pretty easily visible line. Generally speaking, longer pasterns and a deeply sloped shoulder angle indicate smoother gaits and a more comfortable ride, and vice versa. Neither is necessarily more desirable, it depends on what activities you're doing. Steeper angles are better for jumping, for example, even if it'll mean a bumpier trot.

Overall, the horse should appear balanced and move freely. There should be visible muscle throughout the body and the coat should appear healthy. There's a wide range of acceptable body types specialized for different tasks, and the horse you choose should have a body type that lets it perform what you ask comfortably.

This is kind of off the top of my head but these rules should be pretty universal (and a perfectly achievable bar for any intentional breeding imo).

[the-irken-pony]

Haven't visited this blog in a long time, finally decided to follow. Anyways, the new Among Us show. Trailer's out. Heard of it? Thoughts?

Yes I have watched it and yes I have thoughts lol

First of, my one main criticism: I don’t think Among Us lends itself well to a thin-lined art style. At least, not as thin as the show uses. While thin line art makes animating easier and is useful for smaller details (such as hands or outfit details, the Among Us art style is already very simple and the thin line art doesn’t look nearly as nice when it’s applied to the whole body. Even just a border along the outside of the characters would be an improvement imo.

Ok now onto the good stuff lol

It looks like we could get some info on what the crewmates and the Skeld in particular actually do and what their mission is, which I love. While finding (or running from) the impostors is the point of the game, there’s a lot of small details that tie the various areas together, such as the loading room/Skeld being present in Mira HQ and Polus. By extension, I notice that a lot of characters’ concepts are drawn from the various tasks in the game, which I also like.

I have no opinion on the VAs since I don’t really recognize any of them and we didn’t get any voice clips in the trailer. Better than all the voices once again going to Big Name VAs, though.

Given that the series is drawing from the various maps for pretty much every aspect in some way or another, that means we should address the elephant in the room (or my personal hiding hole, specifically) of what they’re planning to do with the airship map. The airship map is solely an homage to Henry Stickmin and holds no remnants of the Skeld or any Among Us continuity, so it could easily be just passed over and not appear in the series at all. Alternatively, it could lend itself well to a one-off crossover episode, either being just an AU of both Among Us and THSC, or being a meeting of the Skeld crew and the AU!Toppat Clan (haha AU bc it’s an alternate universe but also it’s… sorry ignore me). Of course this all depends on if PuffballsUnited would even want to, but while I won’t keep my hopes up too high I also wouldn’t discount the possibility.

That brings me to my final concern, which strays from the main topic a bit so I’ll put it below a cut:

With the new series comes the potential for there to be a resurgence of the THSC fandom. On one hand, the THSC fandom is pretty homogenous, and it’s hard to gain traction unless you either work your way into one of two, maybe three circles of people in the fandom, or you happen to fill a specific niche that no one else does. On the other hand, while I didn’t join the fandom right after THSC released, I did catch the tail end of its time having been more popular (particularly the discourse), and that’s a part of the fandom I wouldn’t want to see revived. I won’t say that the fandom as it is now is immune or exempt from displaying toxic behavior or stirring discourse, but it is a lot better than it was around 2021. That said, my autistic ass is probably biased in that regard.

[raaindropps]

Now a very biased marketing of Aventurine ... (2/2) because I just gotta , sorry

AVENTURINE

pros : As a shielder , he can block incoming damage and help the team survive by not losing any HP in the first place. Preservation characters are so few imo because of how inherently OP their sustain mechanic is. Similarly to Fu Xuan, Aventurine doesn't need to use skill that much either, only when his shields' turn are almost up or when an ally has lost their shield. Because his shield Can Stack, it means that u can essentially keep gaining an even bigger shield everytime you skill or Aventurine does a follow up attack. He also provides effect res up to 50% for ALL ALLIES which decreases the chances of getting crowd controlled or debuffed with DoTs (which from my experience are super annoying, especially wind shear). Like I mentioned before Aventurine does a follow up attack every time his stacks reach 7 , which he can gain stacks from allies FuA and from all allies getting hit by the enemy (allies getting hit grants 1 stack while he himself getting hiy gets 2 stacks) (This follow up can also stack his shield up after unlocking a trace)

In addition to effect res, he also has in built CC protection like Fu Xuan does (except it only applies to him) and this isnt a Chance to resist like Luocha but a 100% will not get crowd controlled every two turns as long as he has his shield up.

Lastly, his ulti can debuff the enemy with 15% crit dmg received which buffs the team because now the enemy takes more crit damage damage ^u^

cons : no cleanse like Luocha, so if u do get debuffed u just gotta wait it out. Again though 50% effect res although won't prevent debuffs completely, it does reduce the chance to get debuffed so u don't need any cleanse in the first place. His other con is that he doesnt heal / restore lost HP like Fu xuan does but considering how his shields can stack and basically have infinite uptime its pretty dang okay and hes definitely worth it as a sustain. wait this js supposed to be cons. um.

his other con is that although he gets free crit rate u dont actually do high damage on him unless u build him to do high damage but like hes mostly a sustain so just build as much def% as possible so his shields r Beefy. Idk if its a Con Con per say but his technique to get the highest out of it is quite a gamble and his ult is only single target instead of Luochas aoe attack ult BUT it will usually do higher damage than Luochas while also debuffing the enemy and can reduce more tougness than luocha (90 instead of 60)

OVERALL : great solo sustain option, In my opinion more valuable than Luocha but then again the next limited 5* sustain tht comes out could definitely overtake him. In terms of Utility (aka buffs provided for allies to increase their damage output) as well as Great Sustainability id say hes on par with Fu Xuan, then Huohuo is slightly less powerful but still Very Great because energy regen and atk% is crazy and her cleanse is also OP, then lastly Luocha. Also I think his animations are fun and his sound effects especially his finger snaps sound so crisp and satisfying. I recommend going for Aventurine if you use follow up attackers like Clara, Jing Yuan, Topaz, Ratio, Yanqing and also characters who could be very squishy like Arlan who does better damage at Low HP. Aventurine can also work for damage over time teams if you use the light cone that lets him apply burn on enemies aka the Trend of Universal Market cone with Topaz and his face on it. Also if you're going for Acheron, Aventurine is probably her best sustain option atm because of how he can contribute her Ult stacks with his Ult debuff and help her damage output too although its already crazy asf.

YEAH thts it mwah mwah sorry for this long ass ask but i am going to be this guys marketer for a while i think

OHHHHH U MAY HAVE CONVINCED ME ... the lack of cleanse might b annoying but I rlly enjoy shield characters.... The lack of healing may be okay if I use his shields well and that fact that they dont gotta be replaced every turn is helpful.

Do u know if his shields go to the entire team or just one selected character? I gotta assume its the whole team but sometimes hyv suprises u

Luochas AOE seems rlly helpful but the question is if Aventurine's shields outweigh his lack of aoe.. Not to mention u said the ult usually does more damage than Luocha's which does help. It would rlly depend on who im facing, but I feel like even in boss fights a weaker aoe outranks a stronger singke target. Much to think about....

[mecachrome]

Hi, do you have any tips for studying French?

omg hi!! do you have anything you need advice on in particular? unfortch it's one of my native languages so i feel like it's harder for me to give specific tips because i was kind of just Taught It 😔 but if you're an english speaker then imo french is pretty friendly to learn (especially considering how many words are derived from it!) and the main difficulties are probably pronunciation, gendered pronouns, prepositions, and then more complex conjugation.

imo the things i mentioned in my previous ask can be pretty universally applied but again just practice practice practice x1000, and i really do recommend recording yourself reading things to listen back! because a lot of times you can't really hear it while you're speaking so that helps in dissecting where you're going wrong. also if you've ever learned another romance language then idt the conjugation should be much of a surprise, but definitely get comfortable with regular verb patterns and make sure you can always identify the stem of a verb because i think people get tripped up about conjugation when they can't do that. also if you're trying to speak french comfortably it really depends on the context but i find sometimes with english speakers i talk to that they speak french kind of formally/rigidly/textbook-y and one thing about french is that you can really Mash That Shit Up in informal settings... so actually for ~immersion~ if you don't know anyone you can speak with then what you can do is look up videos not really about learning french, but just like everyday vlogs or random lifestyle content from french speakers in order to get a sense of how people speak and interact in a more natural setting. also lots of good french films + music out there <3

[aspd-culture]

I think my friend has ASPD. I know he can’t afford therapy right now, and he’s holding everything in. I am autistic and just generally very different from him, and I’m clueless about how to support him. Nothing I found while googling was helpful. Does anyone have any tips or resources? How do you feel most supported by friends? I don’t know how to meet him where he is and I want to.

First and foremost, thank you so much for caring enough about your friend to ask this question. Genuinely, if more people tried to learn even a bit from people with ASPD, a lot of us would be better off.

That said, you do first need to know your friend and how they respond to this type of thing. Most people I know, but especially people with ASPD, can get defensive about people making assumptions like this about us if we aren't comfortable with it. My best friend or fiancé could tell me "hey I think you have (insert literally anything no matter how stigmatized)" and I would take it with love and research it heavily and get back to them on if I agree. If any of my other friends did that though, I wouldn't take it super well especially something as stigmatized as ASPD. So, if your friend wouldn't be into this, then avoid the urge to assume they have it. That said, some of the other advice I have you can follow without it having to be an assumption that they have it and some of it is honestly just being a good friend imo so stay tuned.

If your friend *would* be ok with this, then I'd suggest bringing it up to them and seeing if they've heard of it. Come armed with light research (plz no pages and pages of things we do that might be symptoms - that feels intimidating to almost anyone who isn't expecting it) that led you to this conclusion, and make sure to not just avoid stigma but to actually face it head on in this convo - something like "and I know this is something that carries a lot of stigma. I want you to know that this isn't in any way me saying anything bad about you. I just care about you and want to help you get support in the best ways I can, and if knowing more about this can help you then I'd like to help you with that. If you do have it, I will not judge you or think less of you in any way, and if I say something that feels judgemental or stigmatizing please let me know so I can apologize and do better". Stick to that if you say it though please. If they do have ASPD, they're probably pretty good at sniffing out false positivity/sugarcoating.

So, if they are down to research more or you find out they already thought they might have it, that is a good conversation to start with. From there, do your research on the disorder both under the umbrella of how you've noticed it affecting your friend, and outside of that (since there may be symptoms you dismiss and find out later your friend actually *does* struggle with or that they start struggling with later down the line). Learning about the disorder in general is great to decrease stigma even if this friend doesn't end up having it. Make sure this research includes anecdotal stuff across many different media platforms and creators. Don't get all your stuff from one site or creator, or just from scholarly sources. Anecdotal stuff will help you know what day to day life feels like for someone with it but is more likely to not necessarily apply to your friend whilst scholarly stuff is more likely to be stigmatized/demonized, but is more likely to be universal. If your friend addresses anything specific they struggle with that is a part of ASPD, try and find what has helped others with that same symptom. I know personally I love when my friends tell me "hey I know you said you had trouble with this here's something that I found that might help" even if it doesn't bc it shows you're listening and care about how hard this is for the person with the disorder.

Make sure during this research to look into tags like "aspd stigma" or "cluster b stigma" to find out harmful things that are done/said to people with the disorder and try to internalize the information given there so you avoid accidentally hurting your friend. Oftentimes when we feel attacked or condescended against, we get frustrated and lash out because our brains tell us we don't need people, any people, in our lives.

Onto the stuff that is useful even if they wouldn't be ok with you talking about this (aside from researching bc again that could benefit you as a person either way to know).

Try and be sensitive and caring with your friend's feelings of anger, frustration, etc. People with ASPD tend to have heightened sensitivity to these emotions and we often lash out over things that seem small because we have a natural "short fuse" especially when it comes to other people. Don't coddle to the point where it would annoy someone, but just try and see the situation from the perspective of your friend. Even if something "isn't worth" getting angry at to you, they may not be able to control it. An ex friend of mine used to say something to the affect of "if someone lost their pencil and that made them want to (TW) harm themselves, then it doesn't matter that the pencil wouldn't be important to me because evidently it's important to them and *they* are important to me". Bad person, but good advice.

Learn what flat affect is and try to learn to be comfortable with it. I personally hate having to put on appropriate affect and find that having to fake that makes me feel dissociated and disconnected with my own emotions (which leads to more lashing out bc anger creeps in without me realizing). The best thing anyone in my life could do for me would be to be ok with flat affect and not ask "are you ok" 80 times (once is nice and I appreciate it but if I'm ok and they keep asking it again makes me irrationally angry) just because I'm acting normal for me. Not everyone deals with flat affect, but if your friend does, they might appreciate this quite a bit and it might make you a safe place for them to stop masking.

Try to learn the difference between your friend intentionally being mean/harsh and them just being blunt. My bluntness has lost me too many potential/former friends bc they thought I was just trying to be mean. Yes this is of course something I work on, but it helps when my friend doesn't take it personally and says "hey that came off pretty harsh but I know you didn't mean it" vs getting emotional about it and yelling at me/assuming I wanted to hurt them when I didn't.

Don't push too hard to manage/mask the symptoms. Obviously some symptoms are harmful and need to be managed, and I don't in any way mean to let your friend hurt your feelings even on accident without standing up for yourself. I just mean that if your friend *does* have ASPD you shouldn't ever expect them to get to a point where they won't show symptoms bc this is not the type of disorder where it can be cured or even mitigated to the point where it isn't noticible. It's sort of like asking an autistic person to stop showing any autistic traits. It wouldn't be possible - they would just be masking 24/7 which leads to burnout, meltdowns, etc right? Similar idea with ASPD. Encouraging and helping them get their symptoms to a non-destructive level if any are currently harmful to them is great but if it's not harmful then allow them the space to have symptoms. Tbh letting some non-harmful symptoms (such as flat affect) go without masking them helps me control the ones that can be harmful.

Be open and honest about your feelings. A major part of ASPD is issue with empathy, meaning if your friend seems like they don't care that you're upset, it's very likely because they don't know. Get good at communicating "hey I'm feeling this rn" or "the thing you just said made me feel XYZ". This lessens some of the massive workload that people with ASPD have to do to engage in close friendships which again helps avoid social burnout or frustration. This goes for good and bad emotions - it's also nice to hear "hey that was a really sweet thing you just did/said, and that means a lot to me". Bonus points if you can help any confusion they may have about mutual friends emotions. For example if you notice (thanks to the superpower you people with empathy got *built in*) that a mutual friend is upset at the friend with ASPD traits, and they don't seem to get it, pulling them aside or mentioning in a discreet way what they're feeling and why ("hey X, you seem kinda hurt about the thing Y just said") also can go a long way to easing the burden of low empathy.

Learning to recognize impulsive needs and what fills them for your friend can do a lot too. This doesn't work for everyone, but sometimes when I wanna do something sorta off the wall (which is a symptom of ASPD), having my friend offer to do something impulsive but safe helps me personally. For example, if my brain starts itching to pick a fight and my friend pulls out of the blue "hey do you wanna go (insert replacement behavior - for me that would be concerts due to the high energy release or things like sports/indoor trampoline park due to the gross motor and testosterone release)", it can entirely stop me from doing the original destructive behavior. The trick for me though is you can't bring it up *as a replacement*. So for me if my friend asked me "what can we do to avoid you fighting someone rn", nothing we came up with would work, but if they just notice me getting irritable and say "you know what? I wanna go to the trampoline park rn do you wanna come?" then that would work. This is harder for some than others so this step may not be applicable to your friend in particular but I know it does help some.

I think that's everything I have off the top of my head right now, but thank you again (/gen) for the question!

Small edit: upon rereading to check for clarity and proofread, I realized this comes off as me assuming you have typical to high empathy. If you struggle with low empathy, which I know sometime comes with autism, my apologies! Much of the answer to this question was written with how my friend who doesn't struggle with low empathy helps me, and I accidentally wrote it assuming a similar dynamic)

[agp]

i saw your comments on a public transit post and just. love it so much. why can't public transit go door to door? why can't it operate with feedback and requests from its users? why can't it be adaptable? imo the 'we provide service you consume it' vibe is the exact same thing that private cars do. create a bunch of followers rather than people with unique needs (and thus being inaccessible to many). would love to hear any more ideas you have, especially as this is something i dream of designing along with the accessible community to go with <3

so the specific post in question was about transit systems with centralized access points, or stops/stations, and using the term public transit to talk about the limits of those particular systems. so in a way, definitionally, this 'public transit' could never apply to door to door because that would make it something else (paratransit, taxi service, etc). so while that is a limit to those systems i dont think its the kind of limit op was trying to critique.

'transit infrastructure' is a better term for what i want to reform. this includes everything from physical infrastructure like roads and cars to financial infrastructure like loans and fees to social infrastructure like ownership and laws.

the way we engage with discourses of transportation prioritizes the perspective of the driver and treats other options and those who take them primarily as products of being unable to drive. someone who was unable to learn to adapt to the working class dance with debt, work, and traffic and 'lost their momentum', that is, if they ever had any in the first place.

i think a relatively easy early task is to dislodge the driver from their position as universally optimal. part of this is developing an understanding of how the driver finds themselves there. that is what transit infrastructure in a capitalist political economy 'does': it regulates flows - of traffic, of ideas, of capital - to maintain itself through the reproduction of the institutions that sustain it. the complexity of this regulation is beyond the scope of this post and past the point of calling an easy task, but at least the objective of recognizing and challenging the privileges afforded to the driver is straightforward enough

a notion that can help is the idea of design serving a particular subject. cities planned for cars/drivers as opposed to urban design that prioritizes pedestrians, cyclists, or rapid mass transit. youd ideally want to drive partially bc generally pretty much everything is designed to make driving the easiest. you wouldnt want to walk or bus for the same reason

this is getting a little long so im gonna give the classic marxist line that the social conditions arent sufficiently developed for the kind of revolution in human flows i would like to see. people are a little too tied to their debts, jobs, and steering wheels at the moment.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

hi ^^ mer!sugu-centric!polycule anon here (this feels genuinely like a code i’m crying… uhm what about 🐟 anon?? if it isn’t taken, ofc!) just dropping to say thank you for liking my silly idea and answering! <33 i was getting a little worried with my previous anon because for a whole day i even thought ‘oh……….. what if i didn’t press ask? and i didn’t send it?’ which is very funny because it had happened in the past (yes…….. i’m dumb like the fish emoji 🐟🐟 no thoughts behind the eyes, just gloo gloo gloo)

SO !! I WAS SO HAPPY WHEN I READ YOUR ANSWER AND THAT YOU APPRECIATED MY IDEA TTTTTTTT AAAAA it made me so happy! thank you sm for your kind words :,))) i thought to drop by to thank you only, but your answer just made my brain go crazy with new ideas!! you said that i could basically rant about it, so i’m really sorry, but i’m gonna accept the offer!! 🙏🏼

I COULD SEE THIS SOOO VIVIDLY satoru gets slapped w sugu’s tail and he scowls at reader all offended bc he takes his pearls VERY seriously…. silly little fish man. AND WAHHH THE SLOWBURN OF IT ALL….. sugu realizing he appreciates their company 🥺🥺🥺

THE TAIL SLAP 😭😭😭 i giggled at that because suguru totally WOULD! i also imagine that when geto is a little annoyed by the silly fights between reader and gojo, he would use his tail to splash water at them with a sassy face because “………are you two done now?” 🤨 and oh the slowburn :,,) it’s one of my favorite tropes ever so it’s almost in any fic idea of mine, but i genuinely feel it would hit differently here because when i think about it, this story is like patiently building a sand castle to me. where each character has an unique role and in this case you see their dynamic shifts from something funny/a feeble desire guided by superficial liking to a deeper understanding, accepting each other’s differences, building a safe and respectful bond for each other. i believe that when you pair slowburn with characters with unique traits (in this case mer!sugu), it becomes something much more tender and captivating! 🥺🥺🥺

anon r u perhaps a writer….

this deserves a whole point for itself because HELP?!2$:!/&:$:@/ WHAT GAVE IT AWAY??? TTTT i’ve only written a piece for bungou stray dogs on ao3 so far but that’s really it! so i don’t consider myself a writer :,) ……. aside that, i’m pretty much new to read/write about jujutsu kaisen lolololol ANYWAY—

mer!sugu getting melancholic at the passage of time :((( tying it to his underwater existence is soooo clever too !!! it feels like he associates gojo and reader w the sun …. warmth …… and i think that shifts so easily into love

genuinely crying :(((( i like your thought! because it makes more sense that he would associate both of them with something warm like the sun, and it ties better with the whole depiction of mermaids sunbathing on rocks imo!! in my mind it was the same thing but with the sky itself. it’s a bit difficult to explain so i’ll try to do my best! when i was writing the first anon i thought about mer!sugu seeing the night sky in gojo and the morning one in reader. i guess it’s because the sky imo is what best we have closer to a window. one that links our world while giving us a glimpse of what was happening beyond, a glance in the past in short (hence the universe, because the more the stars are far away from us, the more its light is older) while also giving us two very different performances.

so now that i’ve clarified this thought of mine, how does it apply to this situation? i think that to mer!sugu gojo is the night sky because night it’s the only moment we can see the sky at its rawest point. and to mer!geto, gojo is nothing more than a bundle of honest and raw emotions— because he is able to break through the surface (no pun intended! but….. eheh…….more points to me bc suguru lives underwater, far away from the surface where everything is shiny and clear so he knows there’s much more to gojo that he probably doesn’t show), which is pretty similar to canon!stsg. gojo it’s a window without a shutter, unapologetically shining and not hiding anything from suguru’s stare, the only one who seems to pinpoint and name each constellation that thrives in gojo’s persona.

meanwhile reader is the shutter of the window. the morning sky, the filter that covers the stars from prying eyes with soft and gentle shows with the complicity of the clouds. but not because they hide something, but because they’re shining too, so so bright that it’s nice. it’s warm, it tickles the skin covered in sea salt and reaches all the way to the water to help the marine environment thrive. again, mermaids are always depicted sunbathing— so purposefully seeking the sunlight, the same way mer!geto would actively seek for reader. a soft soul that tend to every little thing in our planet but holds power, attracts and is needed to prosper. also i think it works perfectly in this case because both the sun and the moon have an influences over the tides :,,) so the three of them actually influence each other in a very specific manner the same way gojo, reader and geto influence each other! it’s a respectful and balanced relationship where they have to always work together.

god……….. that was embarrassing………… i yapped too much, sorry. just the last thing and i promise i’m done!! for real!! 😭😭

okay but i do imagine that merfolk have really specific courting processes AND that they’re possessive by nature so i’m just imagining that in this au… 😵‍💫😵‍💫 […] …..giving them both his scales to wear as some kind of jewelry to signal to the other merfolk that these humans are his…. i usually don’t like the idea of sugu being overly possessive but i think it works well w the merman au :33

YOUR MIND‼️ like, seriously!! giggling because i always liked the implication that suguru was a little shit like gojo in canon, though in different fonts (which i tried to incorporate in the way he intentionally doesn’t tell gojo&reader that he has accepted their courting to enjoy the show a little more). SO!! maybe it could be used again when he gives them the scales to ‘mark his territory’ 🤨🤨………… maybe reader and gojo appreciating the gift but being utterly clueless at the same time, so they meet one night and try to brainstorm the meaning behind it since suguru won’t tell them! just to reach the definitive conclusion when they see mer!sugu splash water to a stranger that was asking them the directions to go somewhere…………………. idk, my brain is fried now sorry TT

AAAAAAAAA i’m sorry :(( i yapped too much about it but i’m really growing fond of this au. again, really thank you for answering my first anon <33333333 hope you have a wonderful day/night mwah!!!!

🐟 ANONNNN WELCOME TO THE FAMILY did u know the fish emoji is one of my favs ……

first of all U R SOOO SO WELCOME PLS….. tysm again for dropping the concept into my inbox bc it rlly did make me insane 😭😭 second of all i’m sorry for taking so long to answer this it got kinda lost in my drafts :’3 IT WAS A PLEASURE TO READ THOUGH never apologize for yapping!!! we r all yappers here <3333 aaaa i’m so happy u liked my response to ur ask too!!!! sugu’s tail slaps make me laugh sm… i feel like he would do it alllll the time and it would get so annoying….. he’s a little bit of a brat <33 AND HIM SPLASHING WATER AT THEM IS ALSO SO GOOD he’s so funny….. permanently making this 😐 face while they bicker and banter

AND I SOOOO AGREE ABT THE SLOWBURN it’s one of my fave tropes ever and i’m also so weak for the tenderness of it all T—T aaaa the sandcastle metaphor is so good too ….. themed to the sea and all!!!! they’re building a little sandcastle together and making sure it doesn’t get knocked down by the harsher waves :’3 (both figuratively AND literally bc i do think reader and toru would love making sandcastles…. sugu joins them and accidentally knocks it down psvdkdjdj)…..

this deserves a whole point for itself because HELP?!2$:!/&:$:@/ WHAT GAVE IT AWAY??? TTTT i’ve only written a piece for bungou stray dogs on ao3 so far but that’s really it! so i don’t consider myself a writer :,) ……. aside that, i’m pretty much new to read/write about jujutsu kaisen lolololol ANYWAY—

HEHEHEH I KNEW ITTTT >:3 u just have such a way with words!!! would love lovelove to read some jjk fics from u one day <333 AND OOOOH BSD what character did u write for 🐟 anon…. 👀 extremely important!!

BUT WAHHHHHHH the whole thing abt the night sky and the morning sky….. the window and the shutter……. PLS don’t apologize my beloved anon bc u literally gave me a fullcourse meal for free?? i’m a little stunned bc u just put it so, so well and beautifully 🥺

gojo is a window without a shutter, unapologetically shining and not hiding anything from suguru’s stare, the only one who seems to pinpoint and name each constellation that thrives in gojo’s persona. meanwhile reader is the shutter of the window. the morning sky, the filter that covers the stars from prying eyes with soft and gentle shows with the complicity of the clouds. but not because they hide something, but because they’re shining too, so so bright that it’s nice. it’s warm, it tickles the skin covered in sea salt and reaches all the way to the water to help the marine environment thrive.

LIKE ?????? goshhhh i know i literally just said it but u have SUCH a way with words 🐟 anon…… ur writing is so pretty i’m so in awe . this is such a gorgeous dynamic aaaa i also love how they all influence each other like u said !!! they all move the tides !!!!! :> that’s so lovely.

ANDDD i’m so glad u like the idea of possessive little mer!sugu :33 i just think he’s sooooo cute. i ABSOLUTELY agree that he’s a little shit btw… has fun watching toru and reader being all clueless and oblivious but then some stranger tries flirting w them and he has no choice but to bare his sharp teeth a little and then they figure it out 😞😞 hehe i just think the idea of suguru latching onto them and seeing them as his humans is so sweet.

TYSM FOR THE FOOD STSG 🐟 ANON i love hearing ur thoughts sm !!!!! again i’m sorry it took a bit for me to get to this T_T but i enjoyed reading it sm AND i absolutely adore ur take on a mer!sugu au… they’re the cutest <3333 i am sending many kisses and a big can of fish food just for u !!!!

[anghraine]

My catchphrase in RL discussions is pretty much "well, it depends on the case," to the point of it being a bit of a joke between my close friends and me.

But ... I do feel like there's a sort of drive in contemporary discourse towards absolute rules or positions that must apply in any and all cases. I get the appeal of that, but I just find that absolute, sweeping declarations that must always apply every time are generally (not always, but generally) going to fail. Absolute pronouncements tend to flatten variations between instances, they tend to invite cheap gotchas (well, what about [obvious exception]?!), so on and so forth.

And more adaptability in how we phrase and think of rules and positions can forestall a lot of that, IMO. I was thinking of the various fandom discourses around The Right Way To Do Fandom that try and lay down absolute rules that are presented as universals rather than general guidelines. But I'm also thinking of things like writing "rules," where it's really easy (and legitimate) to find problems with simple dictates from on high. Sometimes you should tell and not show—fiction that is constantly "showing" is typically very tedious to read, and figuring out when it's effective in a given case to shift between showing and telling is part of your role as the writer, not just sticking to one because it's the rule.

It's not that there are never things that are usually good guidelines or typically helpful, but I think a lot of discussion of a lot of different things would be less annoying and circular if we didn't spend so much time pushing for universals and absolute rules. A guideline isn't useless just because it doesn't apply to every case, but if it's presented as if it does apply to every case, that's on the person presenting it. In reality, you can think something should usually be done, but sometimes not. Life is generally complicated that way.

[survey--s]

463.

by brelee

Do you know what the most common bird is in your area? Seagulls, blackbirds, robins, sparrows.

What last made you feel ecstatic? When I realised next week was half-term so it’ll be quiet plus I have a full weekend off next week too lol.

What would make you feel happiest right now? Uhh, nothing really? I have to leave to feed Monty and Charley in half an hour so I’m just killing time until then.

How many teeth have you had extracted? Just two - both my upper wisdom teeth. My bottom ones need doing too but because of how impacted they are I’ll need surgery so my dentist just said to leave them unless they start causing me any bother.

Do you ever read magazines? Not anymore, no.

What is something you've been reflecting on? I have a new dog starting with me next week - which is fine but he used to go with another walker, they’ve just stopped her because he keeps coming back injured and I feel like it’s going to be really awkward when I start posting him on my page, lol.

What's something you like and dislike about the town you live in? I love the location - we’re right by the sea and we have so many amazing walks and views within ten minutes of the house. But I dislike how isolated we are - we have no chains or fast food places, or even a cinema.

What's a Halloween movie that you enjoy? The Addams Family.

Would you say you're more confident now than you were 5 years ago? Yes, most definitely. My life is SO much better nowadays.

Have you ever or would you try carrot bacon? I assume that’s some weird veggie bacon? I’d probably try it but I wouldn’t expect to like it or anything lol.

What's the last thing you purchased that was frozen? Chicken nuggets.

Would you ever walk a runway if given the opportunity? If I was being paid, sure.

When did you last do something that scared you? I had to cancel two days of work at the beginning of the week as I had a really awful virus and I felt SO bad messaging people. Everyone was so nice about it but I was still shitting myself hah.

What is something that you're curious about? Why criminals/serial killers do the things they do.

What time do you usually eat breakfast? About 30 minutes after I get up, which could be anytime between half seven and half ten depending on the day of the week.

What is something you done as a child that you would never do now? Call a teacher “mum”.

What's been your favorite memory of 2022? Galloping down the beach in the September sunshine.

When were you last inside a tall building? Uhh, years ago probably.

Is it currently quiet in the room you're in? No - the TV is on and Archie and Purrlock are both snoring.

Is there someone you can honestly say you hate or have hated? No.

What's currently on your mind? I gotta pee.

Would you consider yourself to be a messy person? No - I’m the total opposite as a rule.

Would those closest to you say you talk too much or not much at all? Not much at all.

Do you have a song you cannot listen to anymore due to a bad memory? Nope.

Have you ever had a candlelit dinner? Yeah, they’re pretty overrated IMO.

Do you need to apologize for something or are you waiting on an apology? Nope, neither of those apply to me right now. What's something you strongly believe in? Religion is dangerous and does more bad than good.

Do you have a dream that is close to being accomplished? Hmm, not close exactly, but it’s definitely something I’m working towards.

Would you say you're in a good place mentally? Yeah, absolutely. My mental health has improved SO much over the last few years. When did you first start feeling more grown up? When I moved out and went off to university.

What kind of chapstick do you use? Vaseline or Burts Bees.

How many pillows do you prefer to sleep with? Lately two regular pillows and like, a small cushion on top.

What is something you've kept bottled up for a long time that you now have released? Nothing comes to mind.

Have you ever broken a cell phone charger? I feel like I’m always breaking phone chargers lol.

[kyidyl]

Ok naughty children time to learn about NAGPRA. It’s not pretty and it’s not gonna have cool pics but it’s important. Since it’s kinda boring tho here’s a pic of my sister’s dog sleeping on my bed last night as payment:

That’s his “I’m lazy sleeping but would like belly rubs plz” pose. Note how much space his chonky self takes up on my twin bed, lol.

Anyway, so what is NAGPRA? The answer here is relevant to a lot of things that aren’t archaeology. NAGPRA stands for the North American Graves Protection and Repatriation Act. It was signed into law in 1990 and it is the landmark piece of legislation in any field that includes native artifacts and remains in any way. That includes archaeologists, but also museums, construction, universities, etc. It’s an American piece of legislation, but it was the first of its kind and has spawned many other important laws in countries around the world concerning the handling of artefacts and remains. We are taught about it at all levels of our education, and it’s such and important piece of legislation that I even learned about it during my masters in the UK. I wasn’t even in the US and they were like “so, NAGPRA...”. But what does it do?

If human remains are found on a dig, all work must stop immediately. The cops are called, they bring in a bioarchaeologist or forensic anthropologist (usually a forensic) to determine if the remains are historical or not. If they are, then the state archaeologist is contacted. That person then contacts the leadership of the tribe who is responsible for the land that we’re on (it won’t necessarily be the tribe to whole the individual belonged bc, well, genocide.), and they determine what they would like done with the remains. Sometimes they don’t care and they allow you to dig them up. Sometimes they care very much and they take custody of the individual.). Again, a lot of this depends on context. At our site, if we find anyone they’re likely to be native but because of the civil war history also might not be. I am capable of determining which is which, so if we find human remains we’re lucky on that front. Native remains are pretty distinctive, as long as you have the skull or teeth. These laws don’t apply on private land, but most archaeologists will follow them anyway out of respect.

Requires that all new construction have an archaeologist on site to handle any artefacts or remains that are found during construction. This is why most archaeologists work in commercial archaeology. It’s also why what trump did down south with blasting things apart in his rush to build his stupid wall was 100% illegal.

Requires that all remains and artefacts currently in museums be returned to whence they came, if at all possible. This is the R in NAGPRA and is called repatriation. This is an incredibly slow, tedious process because of how poor the record keeping was when the stuff was collected and how many of the owners aren’t living anymore. Some stuff can’t be returned because of the decimation of the tribes that took place. This process started in 1990 and is still far from complete, but IS underway. Usually this won’t result in an empty museum. Often what happens instead is that the museum either creates replicas or the tribe loans the artefacts back to the museum. In both cases, new displays are created with the help of tribal leadership, so as you might imagine the quality of native information has skyrocketed since the introduction of NAGPRA. But I’ve noticed that a LOT of people on tumblr don’t know this is the case and they get real angry about native stuff in museums. I can’t speak for museums overseas tho bc NAGPRA doesn’t apply to them. The British Museum is notoriously bad about repatriation.

In the beginning, and sometimes even now, NAGPRA caused a lot of friction among scientists who didn’t think they should be beholden to natives when doing science. But for the most part we’ve worked it out, and the science has *vastly* improved due to actual communication between anthropologists of all kinds and natives. NAGPRA transformed all 4 fields of anthropology in a comparatively short period of time, and it very much has been for the better. It had a knock-on effect of making the whole discipline more respectful, more accepting, more open, and more meticulous in their work. It made it easier to add much-needed native voices to our work. Is it perfect? No. It’s not. There’s still a far amount of arguing (Kennewick man being a famous case.). There are still old archaeologists who didn’t come up under NAGPRA and don’t like it. There are construction companies that pretend they don’t find remains or artefacts because they don’t want to slow down their work so it all can be removed instead of destroyed. There are still anthropologists who are racist AF (tho far fewer than in other fields, IMO, because of the way we’re taught now.). But our work is ABSOLUTELY a million times better than it was and as the older pre-NAGPRA generation leaves the field, it’ll get even better. As repatriation work continues it’ll get better. So this is one of those cases where legislation was a good thing and subsequentially changed behaviors.

Anyway here’s another pic of the dog being spoiled and not wanting to get off my bed so I can sleep as a reward for getting this far, lol.

[plan-d-to-i]

Um can you explain to me about why mdzs is not morally grey type? (Its a newb question im sorry i dont want to get bash just a normal ask)

There's not really any ambiguity to the characters that people tend to assign this term to. It's clear who is in the right and who is in the wrong in the story. For all that stans want to find NUAnCE, they just mean: validate my head canons and projections. LWJ and WWX are (successfully) written to be pretty much as morally ideal as it gets (by the author's own postscript) and are "rewarded" with their happy ending. LWJ realizes he can trust WWX's heart and morality that's why when he gets a second chance he stands by him with no reservations. Things go wrong because the world is a shitty place that tends to punish good people, in universe and frankly irl too; Good people attempting to do good and not entirely succeeding does not make them morally gray. Good people not being perfect and making mistakes does not make them morally gray. In universe revenge is fine when it's justified. Self defense is justified. WWX against Wen Chao & co. = justified. Maybe extra but not morally gray. jc leading a siege against- in his own words "the old, the weak, the women, and the children" -bad- nothing gray about it. jc kidnaping torturing and killing anyone he thought might be Wei Wuxian over the course of 13 years- bad. Trying to save the Wen remnants = good. Leading a siege against them = bad. JGY/JGS- bad. JGY is pitiable but still not morally ambiguous/gray he's just bad. Maybe NHS would come the closest to it but his pursuit of justice for his brother is still a righteous cause, and he doesn't really shift from the moral center in universe enough to be morally gray (imo). I think the problem w this term is it opens the door to a lot of subjectivity and the way it's being used these days it could be applied to anyone. Just bc a villain had a sad childhood doesn't make them morally gray for example. Just because the hero faltered doesn't make them morally gray.

[heliosoll]

hi jay, i hope this doesn't come off as weird or rude bc i don't intend to be at all. but how did you shift despite allll the misinformation about shifting and the lack of success stories or the fake ones or people saying that shifting is lucid dreaming... especially on reddit and tiktok. and most shifters usually follow law of attraction and stuff like that even the successful shifters i see on here follow it and believe in shit like "divine timing" or whatever. it stresses me out bc i'm on a time crunch tbh and i don't wanna shift in 2 years or smth. how did you start following law of assumption and applying it to shifting when there isn't much information about that kind of stuff? honestly that confidence is admirable imo asdkjfls it's a bit hard for me because i tend to rely on validation from outside of myself and i find myself believing in shifting one day and the next day i don't which is ridiculous. do you just naturally develop confidence after you shift for the first time and realize it's real? i feel so dumb bc i believe in revision and i manifested stuff before but the problem is what i did was all logical stuff that came to me in logical ways :( it's very important to me bc my life here is really bad to say the least and i want to permashift and just start fresh. i would appreciate any input you have or anything you have to say even if harsh. thanks

Hi!

Babe, I completely understand how you're feeling. That's literally exactly how I felt when I first discovered shifting. I've always believed in the idea of a multiverse so for me, shifting seemed quite natural. I also considered myself somewhat spiritual at the time so I didn't mind not knowing the exact science behind it. I actually didn't apply the law to shifting at first since I discovered manifesting years after shifting. So, unfortunately, I can't quite help you there.

Anyway, I shifted the first time through spite. I was fed up with "failing" and decided to just stop giving a shit about all my doubts and fears. I decided that night that I was going to shift no matter what and that I wasn't going to accept anything else. And that's how I shifted. Things like misinformation can hinder you but they can't stop you.

When I first got into shifting, I had a hard time believing it. Honestly, I feel like that feeling, if you're a very logical person, doesn't fully go away until you shift for the first time. That's why it can help to apply logic to it until you do. I know everyone in the loa community is very adamant about not applying logic, and for good reason, but I find that it can actually really help your doubts and overall anxieties about it. I think you should research quantum theory! And pretty much every other scientific theory that supports shifting. Trust me, if you're as logical as I was, it'll help you feel better.

When it comes to the time crunch, remember that time is manmade. Even from a logical standpoint, I'm sure you can understand why I'm saying that. Try not to think of the time crunch in a pressuring way! You can think of it as a positive goal or not at all if that's easier. Just try to take the pressure and anxiety of it away. It can help some shifters but oftentimes it can make you feel worse if you pressure yourself to shift by a certain time.

You've already consciously manifested which is great! It doesn't matter how things got to you, even if it was in a logical way. What matters is that you did it! Try to apply that feeling to shifting. It doesn't matter how you think of it or how you do it, what matters is letting yourself do it. One thing that can be hard to hear, but is important nonetheless, is that the only thing that can stop you from shifting is yourself. No other power in this universe can hold you back. You need to let yourself shift. You need to be okay with thinking about it logically or being okay with not knowing exactly how it works. You need to let go of that fear, of that pressure, of all the "what-ifs", and just let yourself shift. Like I know it can suck to hear but literally just do it. You can. No matter what your mindset is, no matter how many doubts you have, you can still shift. You just have to let yourself do it.

I believe in you babe!!! You got this!!!

[autogynocrat]

Being a legal student yourself, what do you make of the rights common refrain of “states rights?” The 10th amendment is vital but often used as a canard imo

the thing about state rights is they exist within a balance between the federal government. those powers not invested in the federal government are given to the state but the thing is those powers aren't absolute. in those areas where powers overlap the supremacy clause states that the federal government's law takes priority.

most of the power of the fed is vested in their powers to control commerce which is used somewhat loosely since trade and commerce affects pretty much every aspect of our lives. the 10th amendment deals with states rights but the thing is the 14th amendment serves as a limiter of the states so it can't infringe on its citizens rights. in section one the 14th establishes a couple different things that relate to the relatonship between states and the fed. one is that the states can't abridge the rights of any US citizen in its borders with, and the other is that it can't deprive a person of life, liberty or property without the due process of the law. this might sound redundant as the 5th seemingly already guarantees this but the 14th applies it to the states instead of just the feds. when it comes to things like marriage rights, the constitution doesn't mention a specific amendment for that, but that's where the 9th comes in. the 9th states that the enumeraton of CERTAIN RIGHTs(ex. 1-6) should not be interpreted to disparage other rights or imply that they are the only rights that exist. this has kind of a synergistic effect with the 14th where we arrive at something legal scholars call substantive due process, which is a tricky subject to explain but it forms the basis for ideas that it's unconstitutional for a state to say no interracial marriage or gay marriage should be allowed, because by people who accept the concept of substantial due process it basically means that the state is depriving people of a certain unenumerated liberty(the right to marry who you want) without a valid reason to be doing so

before the 14th none of the rights enshrined in the constitution applied to states, only interactions with the federal government, which actually led to shit like states trying to do things that interfered with the separation of church and state, declaring themselves christian states or Mormon states. the 14th makes it so that the bill of rights have to be incorporated into people's rights in context with states. in the past there have literally been some state constitutions that stated an atheist is barred from holding office for example.

so it really depends but "STATE RIGHTS" isn't some universal gotcha where the states should be able to do what they want. a state can have its own laws but those laws aren't supposed to infringe on the rights of the people residing in it. if states really could do almost anything they want then that would be a confederation, not the federal system we have now. we had a confederation actually in the very early days of the united states, not the southern one. but the problem was every single state had contradictory laws and nothing to unify them and trade between the states was fucked and obscure because they would have tariffs on each other and it didn't last very long because the framers of our CURRENT constitution realized shit was absolutely not working. that's the context to the federalist papers, they were essentially treatises and debates among the founders on how to fix a union that was in no way united.