#but it all feels so empty now

[imaginarydaughterz]

i feel like psuedo-satanism in music is so hacky nowadays. especially w those tiktokers trying really hard to be metal or punk musicians

[nuppu-nuppu]

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

yeah so i'm falling for @weevmo's Guys... they're so neat! i dig their vibes and can't wait to see what Corduroy Stew is all about <3

[stuckinapril]

.

[jemmo]

ive been thinking a lot about age in the eighth sense, in terms of age gap and the roles of hyung and sunbae and dongsaeng and the behaviours they entail, and the label of the country mouse, and how, with the events of the end of ep 6, they are paralleling jihyun against jaewon’s younger brother with the accident and how I think there’s a crux at the heart of this that is jaewon needing to see jihyun as not his younger brother. and i get that’s weird and kinda yucky considering the nature of the relationship between the two, it’d be very weird if jaewon simply thought of jihyun as a stand in for his familial little brother, but I don’t think it’s like that, it’s not as simple as that.

I think it’s very clear jaewon misses his little brother, plain and simple. and perhaps that extends into missing having a little brother figure in his life, and when I say little brother, I don’t mean familial. that’s why that initial ‘dongsaeng’ messed with our heads in the first place, bc it can be familial and not, so here, and from now on, I mean not. this is not weird incest territory, don’t worry. I think he misses having someone younger, someone to look after. he misses being an older brother. maybe that’s why he so quickly befriends jihyun. attraction aside, maybe he wants someone to care for, and a freshman, a country mouse that knows nothing of the city, being his friend, teaching him city life and uni life, that’s the kind of thing you’d do with a younger brother, and that’s an experience he’s missed. and I think a sense of responsibility also plays into this, bc that’s probably something he feels he lacks after losing his brother. he was supposed to be responsible, supposed to look after him but he couldn’t, and so now he wants to feel like he can be that responsible hyung, he can look after someone, not so much to redeem himself or prove something, but more for himself, to fill an emptiness by fulfilling that role. idk, I don’t think this is something he does consciously, but his body language, his constant touching and how it’s guiding and comforting, at first I thought it was just a desire to touch and filtered through this acceptable closeness between men, especially from someone older. but now i think there is a sense of actual brotherly-ness to it, which I think adds to this confusing want to be close jaewon has that to some degree comes from jihyun filling that younger brother space jaewon has had empty for so long. again, i think people are tentative to approach this topic bc it does get into weird territory, but I think this whole thing is more… how do I say… it’s like how people say you get with someone like your parents, like how often is the phrase “she reminds me of your mom” said between a father and son in movies and tv. it’s not that you want to date your mom, it’s more that you like and value traits that are similar, they bring you comfort bc you’ve literally been raised to be comfortable around someone like that. it’s not incestuous. and I think a similar thing is happening here, even though I don’t think it’s a driving force, I think it’s part of it. which is important, and I like, bc of how this theme progresses.

as the show continues, we see jaewon’s mask slip more and more, and we see jihyun become bolder, which are two important factors that lead into what I think jaewon ultimately needs to realize. jihyun is not his little brother, and he needs to separate the two. there is this obvious path leading from ep 6 where jaewon thinks jihyun’s accident is his little brother all over again and he regresses and distances himself and blames himself, but what he needs to see is that the accident is different. he needs separation. and that comes in the form of jihyun, jihyun becoming bolder and more confident and forthcoming and, most importantly, responsible. at the end of the day, he is not a child, and in that ocean he is responsible for himself just as much, if not more, than jaewon is. he goes into that ocean knowing he’s not the best swimmer and still does it. is he swept up by jaewon and emotions and the kind of heightened vibe of the day? yes. but is it still his decision? yes, and it’s a bit reckless. he can say no to jaewon when he offers to surf and catch the big waves instead of the safety of the shallows where they were before. you’ve seen him bite back and sass and poke and joke with jaewon before, he is not a cowering little mouse (more on that in a sec), and he still agrees, so he has to take responsibility. maybe jaewon was responsible for his little brother but he’s not responsible for jihyun, an adult with their own mind. and jaewon seeing that, that he can’t blame himself when he’s not responsible for anyone here, might just be the thing that helps him get out of that mindset.

and it’s not like jihyun is adverse to this. If anything, I think in this next ep we will hear jihyun blame himself, accept the fact that what he did was maybe a bit stupid and he should’ve thought first. bc we see time and time again jihyun not wanting to be that innocent, naive country mouse. just think about how much he refutes it time and time again, like in that library scene. he doesn’t want to be that person. that’s why he came to the city. It’s why he’s trying new things and being brave, he wants to grow up and be responsible. and I love that this becomes almost a reversal of the classic hyung and dongsaeng roles in later eps, as jihyun becomes more confident while jaewon regresses into himself. jaewon shows his weaker side and jihyun, the younger, looks after him instead. look at ep 6, how he initiates both conversation and physical contact, something we saw jaewon do in earlier eps. I love it both in terms of this theme but also just for romance sake. as an extension of these roles, you expect the older to make the moves and such, but I love that there are equal moments in this show that jaewon gets to be the one getting hit on, be it the scene where jihyun teaches him to draw or calls him cute when he’s drunk. you’d so typically expect to see a hyung doing those things to someone younger, but it shows equality in their relationship that counters those stereotypes in the simple and subtlest ways and I adore it.

this show has a strong theme overall of what’s expected vs how people actually are, be it from drinking etiquette to romance, but just like in that first scene with jihyun’s bar owner, one thing may be expected, but what people actually want, what makes people comfortable, can be something else. and by jihyun so simply not conforming to the country mouse persona initially put on him in such simple but outright ways, he acts as such a great challenge to jaewon, who wears his mask of expectation so frequently. it may be what’s expected, but have you ever considered that it’s not what people actually want? that they might actually want the real you, and all the so-called imperfection of it? bc when does that mask stop being a burden and start being a safety blanket, that shields you from the pain of actually being hurt in a genuine relationship, that hurts more than the pain of pretending. jaewon says over and over again that he’s tired of wearing the mask, but the mask is, ultimately, self inflicted, and as much as you can blame society and parents for expecting things from him, there’s a point when you become an adult where you get to decide for yourself who you are. again, he said it himself, just as he was afraid to leave the safety of the military, he’s afraid to leave the safety of uni, the bubble where what’s expected is clearly defined and can be performed. after that, the rules aren’t as clear. so much more of it depends on you. it’s the process of becoming an adult, of growing up. it’s a process jihyun is on, but jaewon, to be at least, seems further behind in. maybe bc he never got the chance at a fresh start like jihyun and is trapped by preconceived notions the people around him have of him by knowing him for years. maybe it’s bc of the loss of his little brother, and feeling trapped in that time, and a fear of growing up out of that person he was when his brother was there. maybe it’s bc he still feels trapped under his parents thumb, bc despite becoming an adult, you can never really be free of your parents.

I said this before, but it’s just like how they both said they’re jealous of each other, but what they’re jealous of is a preconceived notion of youth and age, not-knowing and knowing, naivety and experience, when again they don’t match these stereotypes. jihyun is not naive, and jaewon doesn’t know everything. Life experience is not all it’s cracked up to be bc it can’t all be good, but knowing nothing isn’t the bliss ignorance is often expressed to be. I’ve rambled on and waxed pathetically poetic long enough about these two to be embarrassing, but as a show that actually involves an age gap, and neither hides away from it nor exploits it for it’s played up romantic tropes, I adore that they let this factor naturally play into the bigger story being told, bc age actually means nothing here, and more than anything, jihyun and jaewon strive to be equals to each other, in their world void of expectations.

[fizzytoo]

[soap-ify]

hello (going to pretend that i didn't disappear AGAIN)

[kanalaure]

feanorian cooking headcanons, because im tired and sad and want to think about something fun

maedhros: makes a lot of soup bc you can make big batches almost more easily than small ones, and usually when he cooks he's babysitting or his little brothers will sidle up wanting some of what he's having. occasionally his parents will wander in from their workshops after a seventeen hour creative binge not sure what day it is but suddenly realizing theyre very hungry. after thangorodrim he has this little skit he loves to do that everyone else hates where he pretends he chopped the veg too hard and cut off his hand, bc what is the point of having all these little brothers if you cant antagonize them with dad jokes and maybe guilt trip them a lil into better behavior

maglor: only knows how to make a handful of things but does them well. dump and pour cook, so everything comes out a lil different each time. has never given anyone food poisoning, unlike some brothers he could name. drives caranthir insane bc he will just throw a handful of peppercorns or whatever in there all casually because they make things taste good and dont you know how much those COST, kano??! probably invented the in-universe equivalent of a sandwich so as to more conveniently eat while composing

celegorm: overall? pretty good, but its a lot of the same things with very minor variation. him being a skilled hunter, it's a lot of deer and small mammals, game birds and fish. probably good with edible plants and herbs growing wild, bc you only need to be made fun of by your entire family for getting scurvy one (1) time before you wise up, so your food would be well seasoned. however. absolutely everything is cooked over a campfire. put him in the wilderness and He Will Provide. stick him in a kitchen with an hearth and a pot rack and he is Lost. like maglor, has never met a measuring spoon he wouldnt ignore

caranthir: will measure spices to the microgram, kano, because he does know how much they cost thankyouverymuch. he's the best (only) baker of the bunch and likes all the math involved in it. just a mediocre cook though, partly bc maedhros invariably got to the kitchen first, and he's really meh about the idea of cooking anyway so he doesn't really protest or try to get in the kitchen on his own time to improve. (exceptions to this: likes making jams and fruit butters.) despite this, has never given anyone food poisoning

curufin: no. nope. no. it's his achilles heel. see mentions of food poisoning above

amrod and amras: got a lot of their cooking know-how straight from celegorm when they were out hunting, so it's all more of the same: deer, rabbit, fish, etc. like caranthir they dont get a lot of time or opportunity to practice bc maedhros beat them to the draw, but like maglor sometimes they will go off and make their own food for the hell of it, or because they were craving a specific thing. they only gave their family food poisoning once, curvo, and that was because they hadn't really nailed the pickling process yet. speaking of, they do a lot of pickling and other longterm things like cheesemaking that have a scientific element to it. they think its neat, and also its one of the few areas none of their older brothers ever tried to break into so for once there's no comparisons to be made, positively or otherwise

[l0ganberry]

I never shown this to anyone else except for those close to me but here's a thing I did for my first time drawing all the neighbors in WH (Welcome Home) in my comfort art style. This is one of my favorites that helped me be more comfortable with WH itself. (And to practice on how to draw them in general.)

[crybaby-bkg]

Dabi is surprisingly a lightweight. You honestly would’ve never figured by looking at him, but as you think back on it, you’ve never really seen him drink a lot. Not when there were celebratory parties, or when things didn’t go right for him. It’s why you’re so shocked when you convince two shots into his system, why he suddenly looks so loose, why his grin splits so wide.

He’s a clinger, you’ve also learned as you’ve started observing the blue eyed man where he shoves his face into the crook of your neck. His body bends over almost uncomfortably to fit into the position, and you can’t help but flinch a little when his damp breath blows a quiet little raspberry on your flesh.

omg wait my favorite thought is of you not even necessarily being a heavyweight, you can just handle your liquor a little better than anyone expects. you love to knock back drink after drink, convince Dabi into some stupid competition that he falls for because he’s such a little nerd and secretly wants to impress you. he does it thinking you’ll be the drunk one first, the one hanging off of his arm and hopefully his dick by the end of the night.

it belatedly shocks him when it’s the exact opposite. when he’s slurring a little and smiling at you, when you watch him through low eyes with a wide grin, when he wraps himself around you like a python, when you shake his face gently as you squish his cheeks together in hand. he’s just so utterly obsessed with you in these moments, and maybe it’s the liquor in him, but he knows his lowered inhibitions are only bringing forth the feelings he’s always suppressed.

drunk sex with Dabi where he’s the one too loose limbed and limp and weak. he flops onto bed like some rag doll with his arms and legs spread wide, but he musters up enough strength to release the heavy weight of his cock from its confinements. doesn’t do much besides lift his head from the pillows with a point to his crotch and a lazy grin, an announcement of, go ahead and hop on already before he’s flopping back down again, ready to lay back and get fucked like how he knows he deserves.

[ch3shire-rabbit]

You know that one Panchito recolor in Minnie’s Bowtoons? Yeah. Anyways his name is Pepito now

—————

Do NOT repost, edit, trace, or use my art in any way. Thanks.

[alchemicaladarna]

Me after trying to reassure everyone and myself for three weeks that SURELY QStudios and the Union are discussing and resolving things behind the scenes and SURELY everything was going well because it was the qommunication smp

[transphilza]

so often when you lose someone so important to you it feels like there’s no way the world will be able to move on from it… it feels like the world has ended but everyone else is acting like it didn’t, it feels like you’re getting left behind because your grief is trapping you in that moment and there’s no way you could ever catch up to the present. so often as the world moves on and we don’t, we deny ourselves or are denied the opportunity to sit with our emotions. so often we try to rush through grief, or we try to forget, or we do anything that helps us feel like time isn’t leaving us behind, even if it means disallowing ourselves time to process what’s happened

phil’s stream today felt like he found a way to make time stand still. it felt like everything was spinning and spinning and spinning out of control and phil put his hand on it and made it stop, felt like he carved out a moment in time and space for himself and for us to sit with our feelings and process. tens of thousands of mourning and lonely people he was able to bring together to celebrate techno’s life and remember him. we didn’t have to force ourselves to move on, we didn’t have to do anything except sit and listen to the music and watch phil create a lovely memorial. he created that opportunity for all of us

of all the people to have been here to guide so many people through this difficult moment i am so pleasantly unsurprised that it was phil. i am so endlessly grateful for everything he’s done for the community and i know techno would have loved the memorial

[pokimoko]

I have had it with these motherfucking spam bots on this motherfucking site.

[bookwyrminspiration]

my college professor has one of my sideblog urls now so she can grade my tumblr posting for fandom class. and i'm not even joking

[brooklynisher]

Probably not canon anymore but it's funny how everyone imagines Peter's face to be scarred or heavily changed when in reality (or at least in 2012) he literally straight up doesn't have a face.

Like, THAT ISN'T just a covering for his face. That's his actual face

Could it be lighting? Maybe? But I don't think that's how lighting works. I don't think his face is naturally allergic to light.

I don't think this is canon anymore because The Seventh paints Peter's broken mask as this huge mystery and unless the mystery is about bringing this back, I don't think this is the surprise we might be getting.

BUT HEY this was all borderline if not 100% canon at one point in time