#but it did super well on ao3 and i've been vaguing about this fic for about a week now

[cedarbranch]

twenty questions for fic writers!

tagged by @sunriseverse thank you!!

tagging: @figbian @shark-myths @stoplightglow @zipegs and anyone else who wants to participate (with no pressure if you don't!) questions below the cut :-)

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

currently 65! i've orphaned several over the years though. unfortunately i am an Extremely Slow Writer so i always wanna see this number go up and it never goes as fast as i want it to :') we can hit 67 this year... surely....

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

847,778! used to be higher (more in the 950k range) prior to orphaning, i'm not sure if i've actually written over a million words or not at this point? v excited for the day that milestone actually shows up in my stats though! my current wips could tip me over, we'll see how it goes... 👀

3. what fandoms do you write for?

currently hannibal and stranger things! i've bounced around many fandoms in my day, but my most significant contributions thus far have been for mcr/bandom and the magnus archives. really hoping i end up writing enough for my current fandoms that i can consider them part of that shortlist too!! :-)

4. top five fics by kudos

like a moth to light (like a beast to bait) / 2117 kudos, save that heart for me / 1480 kudos, how particular, my fondness of you / 1445 kudos, convicted criminals of thought / 1177 kudos, and questionable decisions / 847 kudos! wow, that last one took me by surprise, it was such a jokey little fic i often forget about it. nice to look back at these and see things with over 1k kudos though, i remember that being an unattainable pipe dream back when i was writing mcr in the dead era that was 2017 :')

5. do you respond to comments?

i often do! i try to respond to every comment i get when a fic is published, and i like to respond much later on as well, it just tends to slip my mind if it's an older fic. stuff gets lost in my inbox. i certainly read every comment though, and the comments left on older fics are often the ones that make me happiest!

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hmmm... i mostly write happy endings unless they're character studies. the true angstiest ending i've written is for a fic i haven't posted yet (hint: it's a sequel to a oneshot of mine!) but i do have short fics about both michael and gerry's deaths in tma? i'll go with the gerry death fic, thinking of the sun.

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

they're mostly happy!!! but the one that ends most on a note of Joy, i think, would be rosemary and thyme, my fae!martin au :-)

8. do you get hate on fics?

nah. i have an extremely vague memory of getting a comment that made me go "omg my first hate comment" but like it's so vague that i can't tell if it's a false memory or not 😭 people have always been quite nice to me, thankfully!

9. do you write smut?

i do! i tried to avoid it whenever i could when i was younger but these days i've actually become super interested in sex as a vehicle for character studies. that tumblr post that's like "the plot of this smut fic is that character A believes himself abandoned by god" is one HUNDRED percent my approach recently, definitely expect some of that upcoming on my ao3 lolll

10. craziest crossover?

i don't really write crossovers! i like them in comic/fanart form, but i tend to be less interested in crossover fic (unless it's HEU, i do quite like spacedogs)... the only times i've ever thought about creating crossover content myself were for a couple pacrim fusion ideas!

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

eh, not really. a long time ago i did have someone basically rip the worldbuilding from one of my AUs with the serial numbers filed off, but they did ask permission - i said yes because i was like 16 and felt too awkward saying no. so that was weird! but not quite stealing.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

yes!! to steal a kiss from borrowed lips was translated into russian, such an honor :D

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have, a really long time ago. i don't think i would do it again (unless it was with, like, one of two specific irls) bc i think i'd struggle with figuring out a collaborative workflow. part of me also thinks it could be a fun exercise though...

14. all time favorite ship?

OUGH..... mannnn what a question. it changes every few years and i feel like my response is influenced by not just the source material, but the quality of the fan content and the fandom interactions i've had... you know what? i know i have current-hyperfixation bias, but for now i am gonna say hannigram. it's just too peak.

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Too Many Of Them - but in particular, my chrissy cunningham-centric longfic. it's an entire treatise on sapphic loneliness and small-town queer isolation and i do think it'd be a fucking masterpiece if i ever managed to commit to it, but it's on the forever back-burner i think.

16. what are your writing strengths?

hmm... characterization through dialogue is the main thing, i'd say. i'm always thinking about how to match a given character's speech patterns and i think i tend to capture their voices pretty well!

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

i'm my own biggest critic so i could list a bunch, but pacing is a big one. i tend to let things run too long and i feel like i've only just managed to balance it better in my current wip... only took a decade of fic-writing to get there 😭

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

depends a lot on context. honestly too many thoughts to condense well into an answer for this djglfg but in short: usually nice if it's just a few words, but can get unwieldy otherwise

19. first fandom you wrote in?

kuroshitsuji 💀 self-insert and OC-centric fic. how very unlike me

20. favorite fic you've written?

moth to light has been the reigning champ for a while now, but i think several of my current wips could potentially unseat it!

[elsiebrayisgay]

For the ask game: 3, 16 and 17 😊

um yeah! 3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic so this has changed a lot since i started writing prose, tbh, but there are some hallmarks of my process that have stayed the same. the absolute first thing that has always remained true whether it's been more academic, poetry (which is what i did for my degree,) TTRPG stuff, or now prose fanfic, is that no matter what no matter where no matter when if i have an idea i do my best to write it down. i have lost too many good ideas to not being sure what i had thought up and being certain i'd remember it. so often when i am laying in bed drifting off to sleep and thinking about my work, i will grumble and sit up and unlock my laptop to type out some notes.

another thing that was true for a while and still holds up somewhat today (with caveats) is that when i get inspired by something, i *write*. the first chapter of sourceless bruises was written in one evening after i got home from being out at dinner. i'd had vague concepts and ideas floating around for months before then but when it finally hit me i just sat down and wrote. this doesn't really happen as much anymore because even though i have the inspiration and the hyperfixation, i just don't have the energy to be up and in such high gear for so long, so i need to break it up more. this was true of my poetry and essays for school as well, though; i would just sit down start turning work out when i wanted or needed to.

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

alright so i've been kind of trying to figure out what i want to write after sourceless bruises. i took kind of a long break between my first fic and my second fic (more of these queer feelings... it's probably nothing on ao3) because i was just sort of waiting to have an idea i felt really solid about working on and that's how long it took. partially because sourceless bruises is a bigger project and is taking longer, these days i have a lot more ideas for what to work on next kicking around. none of them are really formed into anything super cogent, because i pretty strictly keep myself to one involved/long-term creative project at a time. however, things i have been interested in developing once i have wrapped up sourceless bruises in no particular order:

i have a draft started for a sequel to more of these queer feelings. it's mostly outlined, but i hadn't really gotten far into the drafting process.

korrasami modern au. this kind of setting adaptation is my bread and butter, if you couldn't tell. i posted a joke about this sort of idea on tumblr a while back but it actually got a lot more traction than i was expecting and so honestly i'm thinking about putting some more work in on it.

cait/vi (vilyn?) has been really interesting to me recently. i dunno, something about those girls. so i've been thinking about early stages of what i might want to do with them, whether to give them my normal au treatment or try something else.

i have also been working a bit on a premise for some original fiction. i will only say at this point that it will be horror/mystery and probably be a fair bit bleaker than what i tend to write for ao3 (though honestly i have no idea how i would go about publishing original fiction.)

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block)

okay so at this point it's time to circle back to the first answer in this post because honestly the truth of how i go about writing chapters these days falls a lot more under this question than that more general one. the first thing i'm going to say is that in my opinion, writing is labor. there's an old interview with john darnielle and john k. samson (among others) where JD talks about how there's no such thing as convenience store clerk block, or coal miner's block, so writers shouldn't get blocked—they should just keep sitting down to write, and to some extent i believe in that idea, but i want to add nuance. i think there probably is such a thing as convenience store clerk block, and coal miner's block, it's just that society doesn't allow or expect them to take breaks, or go on sabbatical or whatever. so they end up working through, and maybe burning out. i think that labor is something that any person, in any field, needs to take at their own personal sustainable pace. it's really easy, as a writer, to compare yourself to others. word counts on ao3, stories published, etc. but i think it's very important to listen to your mind and body about what you need as a creative person and also just as a person. if you've got nothing right now, i think it is important to try allowing your mind to simply lie fallow. there's that post about mental crop rotation, and about letting your mind have time where it isn't expected to turn out anything that needs to get put on a page. i think respecting that need is pretty important. this philosophy is how i've been going about writing since i got out of school.

this ties into the actual difficulty i've mostly been having with sourceless bruises. around late 2022/early 2023 i had some life circumstances cause my chronic illness to get a lot more severe, from which i have never fully recovered. this has meant that my pain is a lot worse, and my energy levels are a lot lower. what i used to be able to do with turning out thousands of words a day when i was really inspired happens only very rarely now, when those moments line up with my good days. there's another post on here (somewhere in my reblogs) talking about what to do as a fic writer when your capabilities change, and a lot of the advice on that post has stuck with me. accepting my limits and working within them has definitely meant that my process is a lot slower, especially during flares (and once the weather warms up in the spring i am mostly stuck in one big flare until fall) but it also means that i get to maintain the quality of what i produce and my own quality of life. in these periods, i mostly just try to carve out a bit of time every day when i am able to sit up, usually only fifteen or twenty minutes or so, to peck away at my draft. i sit down, get a paragraph or two dealt with, maybe look at a bit of research, maybe not, and at the end of it i have maybe two hundred more words than i did before. some days, i don't even feel up to this. sometimes i go a week without doing it. but i try to just carve out some time when i can to peck away and eventually i end up with a finished chapter. that's really what my creative process looks like these days.

[ageless-aislynn]

Tagged by the ever lovely and awesome @swiftzeldas Thanks, hon! 🤗💖

How many works do you have on AO3? 148

What’s your total AO3 word count? 290,660 😵‍💫

What fandoms do you write for? Actively writing for Halo now, but still have some for the Flash to finish up. I've previously also written for Doctor Who.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? "Five Times Oliver Held Felicity (And The One Time She Held Him)" (Olicity, Arrow) "15 Minutes" (John-117/Reader, Halo the series) "Balancing Act" (NSFW) (Tenth Doctor/Donna Noble, Doctor Who) "Side Effect" (NSFW) (John-117/Kai-125, Halo the series) "No Time" (John-117/gender neutral Reader, Halo the series)

Do you respond to comments? I always do and if for some reason I didn't, you can be sure I either didn't see it or something interfered with me in replying and now I've thought I did. That, er, happens more than I wish it would these days. *swiss cheese brain is swiss cheese* 😔🫥🙄

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I very rarely write angsty endings, so they're kinda notable when they happen: "Cold" (Eobard Thawne/Killer Frost, The Flash) (Very short but I've been told it packs a punch. 🥰😉) "Dark/Light" (chapter 1) (Harry Wells/Caitlin Snow, The Flash) (An experimental fic where the dialogue is exactly the same in ch1 and 2 but they tell vastly different stories. 😉) Honorable mention to "Gray Sunflowers" (Caitlin Snow/Hunter Zolomon, The Flash) as a rare one where the entire fic is a metaphor for depression and even though the ending isn't super angsty by any means, it also isn't particularly hopeful either. It's still one of my favorites, though, because I felt like it has a distinctive voice.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I'm resisting the urge to put "Side Effect" and the, er, multiple "happy endings" that occur in it here, lol! 🤣🤣🤣 Honestly, basically all of my other fics have a happy ending. I might go with "The Thousand and the First" (NSFW)(Eobard Thawne/Caitlin Snow, The Flash) because I wanted it to carry through a complete redemption arc for Eobard and I think it succeeded. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯😉

Do you get hate on fics? So far, no. On vids... oh yeah. 😑

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Um, yep. Lots. I tend to write smut with a funny tone. I've very rarely done a conventional "romance novel" type scene. "Balancing Act" (Ten/Donna, linked above) was one of the first I'd did with that quasi-realistic/funny tone to it.

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I've only written one so far: "Cold Hands" (Caitlin Snow/Jordan Mahkent, The Flash/Stargirl), which also has a vid, "Gasoline."

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of. Again, a vid? Yes.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not as far as I know.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? I don't work well with a co-writer, simply because my muse is so resistant to writing to an outline.

What’s your all time favorite ship? To write? Any variation of Eobard Thawne/Caitlin Snow and the Wells dopplegangers/Caitlin or Killer Frost, The Flash, John-117/Kai-125 and John-117/Reader.

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? "Try" (both versions of Eobard Thawne/Caitlin Snow, The Flash). I have 3 chapters completed and it's definitely the fic with the most world-building in it and it would also be the first full-fledged poly fic I've done. But my inspiration for the Flash just got smushed by the show so repeatedly I doubt I'll ever get enough oomph to finish it.

What are your writing strengths? Funny smut? Taking fandoms that are very not domestic and writing domestic fics in them? (I'm looking at you, Halo. Apologies to all of the Halo fans out there who absolutely hate people like me. 🫣I know you're out there but I appreciate you only vague-posting about me/people like me and not calling me out by name.)

What are your writing weaknesses? I don't write plotty fic very well, nor do I stick to canon very often. Worst thing is how easily I can sabotage myself and get convinced that everybody hates what I write. I've had SO many wonderful comments telling me otherwise but mannnnnn, my Evil Inner Editor can make me feel like the worst imposter ever. 😔

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I've written for Sherloque Wells a handful of times, most notably "Unrequited" (Sherloque/Caitlin, The Flash) but I had help from a genuine French speaker to make sure it was saying what I thought it was saying, lol! It's not something I would want to do a lot, though, because I don't have a good enough grasp on any other language to feel comfortable with it. I greatly admire those who can, though!

First fandom you wrote for? Lord of the Rings, though it's no longer online anywhere. Doctor Who was my official entrance in the awesome world of fanfic after that!

Favorite fic you’ve written? Well, ask me my favorite child, why don't you? 😮🤣 How about I pick one two that haven't been mentioned so far that I'd love to see get more attention? "Phase Two" (Ninth Doctor/Rose Tyler, Doctor Who) is a sentimental fav and "Offer" (Eobard Thawne/Killer Frost, The Flash) is honestly a world I would've loved to have written more in because I found it so interesting.

Tagging any of my writer friends who see this and would like to do it! *boops your nose politely*

(Boop paw GIF kindly made by @theredtours) 😉

[eoinmcgonigal]

4, 11, 24, and 28 for the fanfic ask game please!

4. Link your three favorite fics right now. ah this one's a bit tricky because I've not read much lately.

This gorgeous fic is the yuletide gift I got! The Last of the Mohicans fic, Hearth by DreamsofRomance

This morning a link to this delicious Dudley/David fic was sent my way: better pray for your sins by toastandjammies

erm... what else did i read...... (There is a fic of mine that's a fave but I don't think that's what this question was asking.)

11. How do you come up with your fic titles? For the Paddy/Eoin ones I try to pick a word that has some sort of musical link, but for others I just panic and pick something that feels vaguely okay after skimming the fic

24. What’s a trope that you’d like to never hear about as long as you live, let alone write? There isn't one. There's some stuff I don't like, like the generic crappy relationship shit you see in 50sog, but I just avoid it.

28. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie: pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc)? Well I don't really update things (unless I've been helped/encouraged by a friend), so that takes care of the first. Negative comments... It's been a while and I just deleted the last one on AO3 because it was deranged. I try to avoid deadlines, so mostly it's just my own self-applied pressure.

I actually find replying to comments super hard because I'm terrible with words.

The ask post in question.

[eirenare]

Hi hi~! Life update here

Hi there!

Yes, I'm still alive lol, it's just that 85% of my social media time I currently spend it on Twitter (I refuse to call it how Elmo Muskrat wants the site to be called lol), and 15% I spend it on Bluesky (which, by the way, if you wanna find me there, I'm Eirenare too there lol).

I'm still very veeeeeery much in my Reylo brainrot haha, so yeah, you might see me posting or reblogging every now and then some of it, although I've been as well into some other stuff lately (Elden Ring for example), so you might see me posting about that too, so just a heads up there about it (and don't worry, everything I post here, regardless of what it is, as usual it'll have its tags and spoiler warnings, a "read more" if need be, etc).

My energy's been specially low for the past months though to be honest, so I can't guarantee I'll be very active around here (except for private messages, I'll be checking these every little time), just that every now and then I'll come here and post or reblog some stuff, probably Reylo and other things Star Wars or series/movies, life updates too, maybe will share in a bit of my Elden Ring brainrot and theories as its DLC approaches and I get more and more excited.

Anyways, here's some random life update stuff and anecdotes that I wanted to say before I log off for the night here:

I fell into the Kalluzeb (Kallus x Zeb, from Star Wars Rebels) rabbithole some time ago and it was, and is, neat, I love them so much

earlier today I had churros and hot chocolate as desert at lunch time and I was in cloud nine all the while I chomped on them

apparently my brain won't cease to come up with new Reylo AUs which is amazing and so much fun but also if I ever showed you guys screenshots of my Google Docs you might just faint because there are just so many things there between WIPs I'm currently working on that are already on Ao3, future things to go on Ao3, vague WIPs, AU ideas... and my energy is running so low and I'm working on various Ao3 WIPs so yeah lol I don't think I'll ever write even half of the fics I noted down

I watched Barbie at the cinema and it became one of my new comfort movies and one of my fave movies of all time

somehow I'm not as bad as I thought I'd be at Elden Ring even though I'm clumsy, a scaredycat and my tunnel vision goes lvl 100 when I'm playing videogames which usually means "good luck remembering to look at your stamina bar and using key items", so seeing myself not get too stuck on bosses was unexpected and neat (in fact, funnily enough: somehow this game even makes my anxiety lower at times and it barely increases it at all even when I'm fighting bosses, go figure lol)

I had the chance to buy Final Fantasy XVI at a much cheaper price than release price but because at that site I didn't see any warning that it was temporary, by the time I went to buy it, it had risen price again so now I'm awaiting once again for both better prices and for my wallet to recover

my brother bought a PS5 back in spring and a copy of Star Wars Jedi Survivor and, since we live in the same house, I did play that game and it was amazing asdfgffdgfjfb there were only a very few things I didn't like that much but holy shit was it good, some stuff even felt tailor-made for me in ways I wasn't expecting but that I enjoyed very much (and also the tears, the rivers of tears I shed on certain scenes lol) and now I'm super hyped for the 3rd whenever it is that it'll happen

the official Star Wars accounts at Twitter have been posting quite a bit about Reylo and the sequels and Ben for the past days (and I gotta say, the account from Spain even added some extra Reylo flavor in some tweets that other accounts didn't which is curious) and I'm clowning kinda hard, hoping that DLF finally realized most of the people actually like a lot Reylo (or don't mind it) and the ST, and hoping (always hoping, always dreading to hope too much, but hoping anyways) that we'll get Rey and Ben reunited in her movie

Anyways x2, enough anecdotes and thoughts for the night, see you around lovely people~! <3 Hopefully soon lol, but if not... *looks at 2024 fast approaching* if not, then I'll 100% be around to gossip and scream for when the Rey movie begins production and talks begin and all that stuff, lol.

Good night~! :D I hope you have a great day and/or a good sleep~! <3

EDIT: looooool apparently this was my 100th post in here and I got a free badge for my profile so yay, nice~ x) XDD

[strawwritesfic]

Hello Straw! It has been years so I am actually super stoked and happy to find you still active in fic writing!

Since The Last Of Us TV series has been coming out I vaguely remembered reading a fic of Joel x Reader that I believe was by you because it was so well written. She was an amputee and had lost her arm from a bite, but that was the only detail I can remember. I read it on Lunaescence and have been trying to look for it again, so I thought I’d shoot in the dark as I couldn’t find it on your master lists. If this doesn’t ring a bell, so sorry—but I hope your creativity continues boundlessly as it has been since I read that fic of yours in 2013.

Cheers!!!

Aw, that's sweet of you to say! I'm glad people have enjoyed stuff I wrote even a long time ago.

Yes, that sounds like my Last of Us fic, (Don't) Hold Your Breath. Unfortunately, it's not available online at the moment. I mean, it's probably accessible somewhere, because it's the Internet. But I tried posting it on Tumblr a while back, got absolutely no interest, became embarrassed myself by the amount of swearing in it, and deleted it off Ao3, which was the one place I had posted it after Luna uh...did whatever the heck Luna did.

I was actually considering brushing the fic off and editing it before I realized there was a TV show (and no, I will not be watching it, because I am a coward), but I don't actually have a copy of anything more than my handwritten draft for a new chapter right now. I thought I had a copy in my email, but it turns out I deleted that email along with the fic.

There should be a copy of it on my old laptop, but that started acting weird almost a year ago and I turned it off and haven't actually turned it on since, since I didn't want to make the hard drive worse before I had time to try salvaging anything. I'm kinda scared to try charging it up and turning it on now. I need to, but ahhhh. What if everything is gone?

Anyway! Yeah, it's not really around right now. If I can retrieve it (and at this point in time, I don't know when I'll have time), I've had several people ask about it, and I'd be interested in editing it a little and reposting it. It's really touching that so many people remember that old thing fondly even after all these years. Thank you for your kind words, and have a nice morning/afternoon/night/whatever it is where you are!

[maggot-monger]

2, 4, 16 for the published fic asks.

hiiii ✨

2. which of your fics is your least favorite? why?

probably something super old 😅 i try not to make a habit of being too hard on distant-past!me though, so of the more recent ones that i'm not just down on because they're old...ugh RIP this is sad to say but probably Lay Me Down. the point of it was to be fun to write and to give me a place to put vaguely connected ideas i had together, and it filled that role well while i was actively working on it, but it's not really to my own tastes anymore (partly for tone reasons and partly because i think i set it up to go a direction i never really intended to take it).

4. which of your fics deserved more attention than it got?

Losing My Religion hands down. i extremely 100% understand why it doesn't get more attention (it's adam/nick, so extreme rarepair + characters who never canonically met + could potentially be offputting to people for at least three obvious reasons i can think of + etc etc), but. also. i'm still really happy with it and commenters have been enthusiastic and i think people should give it a chance <3

16. if you had to change the main pairing in one of your fics, which one would you choose, and what would you change the ship to? how?

oh strange. hm. this is SUCH a hard question lol i have been scrolling through my works on ao3 for like 20 minutes chewing on it. maybe Acceptance, which is originally nickifer (like, very indelibly nickifer lol), and which i can imagine rewriting to be midam. it would have to be like 100% rewritten, but i think the tone and topic would be interesting for midam...i've been a midam enjoyer forever but i don't really write it, and i think if i did, i'd enjoy going a kind of hypnotic, hazy, dark-sweet direction with it the way i went with Acceptance. the tone would stay as close to similar as possible, and the "story" would track adam's motivation to say yes, the way michael might have conversed with him in their head, and their respective feelings about the fact that adam is not michael's true vessel. it would inevitably be super different since the nick-lucifer-sam thing is not very similar at all to the adam-michael-dean thing, but it might be cool to rewrite this fic about the former to be about the latter.

ask me about my published fics!

[lost-technology]

Dumbest-Ass Crossover Idea That Someone's Gotta Do So It Might As Well Be Me, Someday, Maybe: So, given the recent resurgence of popularity of old franchises due to new material, and the nature of this particular fandom (Trigun) on Ao3 that I've noticed with lots of AU fics - haven't read them all, just seen the summaries (I've seen modern, coffee-shop, flower-shop, tattoo-parlor, Wolfwood moves to the Appliachians and Vash is a mysterious creature, one I started reading that was an AU sci-fi that was vaguely Jurrassic Park-ish featuring Wolfwood the game warden, some fusion with Game of Thrones that I started to read even though I've never read or watched GoT but went WTF at and something, something, unlucky twin-births and dragons...and anyway...) Why haven't I seen a Hunger Games fusion yet? Seriously, I'm pretty sure Hunger Games has gotten up into everything by now. I used to see crossovers of it everywhere in multiple fandoms. In fact, I have a giant multi-story series I was doing for a while on both fanfiction dot net and Ao3 where I fusioned it with Super Smash Bros. - which kind of makes sense because SSB is a fighting game, but I really did relish taking the innocent goofiness of Nintendo and making it high stakes where characters actually died gruesomely and had high drama because I am just sick and twisted that way! Anyway, my brain's chewing on Did You Get Trigun in my Hunger Games? Did you get Hunger Games in my Trigun?

Okay, so the biggest hurdle to this kind of thing is - I'd want a young Vash as the main character / arena-victor in the story. How's he gonna get out of it without killing? How's he gonna get out of it without killing and his whole thing of trying to save everyone? Probably will go like canon-Trigun, wherein he tries and fails... I don't want this to take place on Gunsmoke / Noman's Land because I kind of want the setup and lore of the Districts, so it would be an alternate universe in which SEEDS never left Earth and everything takes place in Panem. Because I don't want this to be "just insert character names here," I definitely would want Plants to exist. The Plants were created and different manufacture-types exist in different Districts, as well as backups and relays to support the various District industries and infrastructure. Vash and Knives were born to an energy-Plant operating in District 10, the Livestock / Meat District. Their names make perfect sense in this district, Vash being named for "cow" and Knives being for tools important to the District, respectively. (Yes, the entirety of this fusion idea comes from their dang NAMES)! Rem discovered and adopted them. She's the last survivor of a band of Covey that was separated from one of the main bands when the Districts were unified, her family having been round up in District 10 (distant relations in 12). She still sings her grandmother's old songs. Her full name is Remembrance Red Saverem, going by the tradition of having a color in the name. I'm not sure what ballad her first name would cite, but I could always bullshit a new Panem-specific one. Rem gets hung after being caught on subversive activities while Vash is in the games. Knives has to deliver the bad news when he gets home on the train. Knives goes full in on some of the rebellion-plans that Mom was involved in, but gets a little more mass-murder happy about it. Tesla is a Plant-child born in District 3. That is all I know. Feel free to brainstorm (Especially since this thing will probably never happen, I'm just spitballing ideas).

[ufuckingpastry]

Where Gods and Monsters Meet

AO3 Link

Disclaimer: This fic is based on the characters in the Dream SMP, not the content creators. Any views expressed in this fic are not a reflection of the content creators in any shape or form.

Summary: They stood in silence, their backs to the walls as they faced each other. If one took a step in one direction, the other followed in suit, effectively circling each other. As Technoblade looked over his old partner, his grin faded the longer he looked. He could read Dream easily, guess his next steps, gauge his reactions, and even guess his expression beneath that cracked mask. Technoblade realized with growing concern that isolation was affecting Dream more than expected.

Technoblade gazed up at the prison. The design was elegant, pristine, foreboding. Darkness resided there, amongst the obsidian and marble. He remembered Tommy’s retelling of his visit. More rivers of lava in one place than they saw in all of the Nether. A spot of hell above ground, held together by cold and unfeeling black. Techno pressed his lips together, hiked up the axe resting on his shoulder, and strode forward. He found Sam behind his desk, a book open on the lectern awaiting his signature and promise to behave.

“What is your relationship with the prisoner?” Sam’s voice brought him up away from the voices buzzing in his skull. Technoblade blinked at Sam, then raised his gaze to the ceiling stories high above his head as if he’d find the words hidden in the cracks and shadows. His relationship with Dream was… complicated to say the least. He respected him, with all that happened in the past. Though, recently, that had been called into question. He did not particularly like him. Well… No, yes, that was correct. But Dream and his goals had aligned in the past. He pressed his lips together as his gaze flicked back down to Sam, who was waiting patiently for his answer.

“We were business partners for a while, but after… L’Manberg, we were not. Would I like to kill him? Potentially, yes, I would. But not today.”

“Do you believe he was rightfully imprisoned?”

“Yes,” Technoblade replied with little consideration and little hesitation. Once the questions were complete and the book agreed to and signed, Technoblade ducked into locker one. He removed his armor, his weapons, his potions, and other such gear. He stored the keycard in his enderchest without even a cursory glance over it. As he walked out, Sam gestured to his crown. Technoblade shot back a challenging look.

“The crown stays with me. You can check it for traps, but it stays with me.” He offered Sam the crown for inspection. He took it with a soft huff and searched it for traps or hidden mechanisms. Finding none, he handed it back with a satisfied nod. The physical search was much the same: uneventful. The trip through security felt as though it should have been building up to something. Something important. A confrontation of sorts. But as he passed through the wall of lava, honey blocks squishing uncomfortably under his hooves, he found his destination less and less important. His reasons for coming, to satisfy his own curiosity and another’s fears, seemed anticlimactic. Even as he signed his lives away should something go wrong, it didn’t feel as monumental as it should have been. Though, perhaps, that was how things like this went.

“Does he know we’re coming?” Technoblade asked as he handed the last two signed books over.

“He will be able to tell someone is coming, but not who.” Sam frowned briefly, then searched through his pockets. “There’s something I needed to give him, but since you’re visiting,” he pulled out a clock and held it out to Technoblade. “Can I trust you to give it to him?” Technoblade glanced down at the clock and took it carefully.

“Sure.” He looked it over as he waited for the lava to fall, his weight on one foot. When the ceiling was visible, he took a few moments to marvel at the engineering of the prison before his gaze landed on the man in the prison cell. Even from this distance, even with the mask concealing his expressions, Technoblade could read his surprise from his stance. A smug smirk cracked across his face and he shifted his weight on his other foot, cocking his hip out. Dream had backed up, obviously thrown off by Technoblade’s appearance. Good. When the stone started moving across, he easily kept up with it. He strode across the lava, his smirk spreading into a grin. Technoblade’s blood sang with the voices in his head, their buzzing growing to a roar. Dream kept his distance as he approached, taking a few steps back from the netherite wall. He knew a dangerous animal when he saw one. His steps echoed around the small chamber. It was strange that the obsidian was cold, even as heat bloomed behind him as the lava dripped back down. When the netherite wall lowered, Technoblade stepped in, turned on his hooves, and grinned at Dream.

They stood in silence, their backs to the walls as they faced each other. If one took a step in one direction, the other followed in suit, effectively circling each other. As Technoblade looked over his old partner, his grin faded the longer he looked. Dream’s movements were less controlled, he noted. He could read Dream easily, guess his next steps, gauge his reactions, and even guess his expression beneath that cracked mask. Technoblade realized with growing concern that isolation was affecting Dream more than expected.

Dream eyed Technoblade, chewing his lip as they stood in silence. He discarded questions and tactics, already thrown off just from seeing Technoblade show up at all. The pigman didn’t strike him as someone who wanted to visit. Of all the times Dream visited him in the past, he hadn’t liked him around, hadn’t liked him just showing up out of nowhere. He tongued his teeth, pressing his lips together behind his mask, then casually shoved his hands in his sweater pockets. He tilted his head at Technoblade.

“Why are you here?” he asked bluntly, a twinge of annoyance sneaking into his voice. Technoblade snickered, enough to break the otherwise blank stare. “What?” Dream hissed, his teeth bared unseen.

“So straightforward!” Technoblade laughed some more before he regained his composure. His smile returned, at least briefly. “It looks like you’re losing your touch, being trapped in here. No quick wit and no bite.” He exaggerated the word, snapping his teeth together and flashing his tusks. The subtle tilt in Dream’s head told him that he was eyeing his tusks. There no fear scent—he’d never known one from Dream—but his caution was potent in the small space.

The two of them had faced off before many times over. The memories of each time left Technoblade’s blood roaring, the voices chanting, begging for more. It left him exhilarated. There was no creature, in the Nether nor Overworld, that was as dangerous as Dream. There was very little that could rival him, stand toe-to-toe with him and still have a chance to dare to be a victor. Tommy and Tubbo were lucky. They were infinitely lucky that near everyone they knew came to save them. There was only one person who could match Dream, had matched and exceeded him.

And he now stood in front of him.

“Well?” Dream prompted him. Technoblade hummed in acknowledgement, but didn’t answer. A low growl slipped out from behind Dream’s mask before he could stop it. The growl made Technoblade straighten, though he tried to play it off by shifting his weight to the other foot. “Why are you here?” Dream repeated, barely holding in his snarl.

“Oh, you know. To chat.” There was a pause, then he dug into a pocket and pulled out a clock. “Sam said to give you this too.” Dream eyed him, stepping forward to take the clock. He frowned at it as he turned it over in his hands. Why give him this? He glanced back at his other—

Oh. Right.

In a fit of sudden rage, he had thrown both the clock and one of the “novels” Tommy had ordered him to write into the lava. Sam had been… busy and was unable to get him another one for… a week? More? Time was already hard to tell in this world, let alone in the dark unchanging of the prison. Dream’s hands gripped the clock tightly, so tightly they began to shake. The gold and glass creaked as his fingers curved like claws. All his attention narrowed, focused on the clock. His rage boiled again, a snarl ripping through as his tight hold on himself loosened—

Hooved hands settled over his, interrupting his thoughts. Dream could feel Technoblade close, his chest rising and falling in slow breaths close to his face. Dream’s mouth was still bared in a snarl, his eyes wide and breath panting. Technoblade waited. Dream closed his eyes, allowing his breath to slow, his hands to settle. His mouth relaxed, hiding his teeth again behind his lips. His anger didn’t die out, but it settled. For now, he was settled.

“Allow me,” Techno whispered, taking the clock from Dream. There were holes in the gold where Dream’s claws had deformed it, but it seemed to still work fine. He hung it up, checking with Dream to make sure it was in the right spot. Afterwards, he stepped close to Dream again. Dream lifted his face up to Techno, afraid for the question that was sure to be on his tongue, but silently begging for him to ask.

“Take off your mask, Dream,” he said. Dream closed his eyes and started to step back. Techno let him, watched him move.

“No, no, Techno, you know I…” His hands clenched into fists, shaking again. “You know why I wear this, right? You haven’t forgotten that, right?”

“Intimidation?” Technoblade guessed, half a joke on his face. At Dream’s expression, he continued. “I know, Dream. So, you should know why I asked you that.” Dream tilted his head away, discarding responses and retorts. Finally, he undid the straps and removed the mask. The hair on the back of Technoblade’s neck raised at the sight of his eyes. They were always to first to turn when he removed his mask. Unnaturally green, the pupils thin and beaded like lizards he found in the jungle sometimes. He shifted his weight, his face blank as he watched Dream set the mask aside. He looked… not small, but vulnerable. Dream wouldn’t hide himself here, not in his presence.

Technoblade leaned in close, giving Dream a smirk. He kept his weight ready to jump back in case Dream snapped. He wouldn’t put it past him. He had done it before. Dream eyed him with his strange eyes, his expressions more open and readable now without the mask. Unnerving as all hell, though.

"There," Technoblade said with a small bit of mirth. "Now everyone can see your ugly mug."

Dream's eyes narrowed at him and he straightened. His lip lifted into almost a snarl, but then cool, collected Dream returned. He bounced back and forth on his heels, a slow smile forming. "With your face," he started, reaching up carefully. Technoblade watched his hand, waiting for the rest of his response. When Dream snatched the crown off Techno's head, he twitched in response. Dream glanced at it as he twirled it in his hand. "I think I'm just fine."

"You got a problem with piglins?" Technoblade growled, reaching to take the crown back. Dream flashstepped back half a step, just out of Technoblade’s searching hand.

"Nah. Just you." Dream rested the crown on his head and took a full step back. He twirled around on his toe, tilting his head with a grin at Techno. Technoblade could see his teeth turning now too, sharpening and filling his mouth too full. Finally, things were getting exciting. Dream stuck out his tongue, the fork in it more obvious now as the color changed to match his eyes. "Fitting, don't you think? I'd love to see you bow to me, for a change," he said, a snicker on his breath. Technoblade's gaze snapped up from Dream's mouth to the crown. The voices started buzzing in his skull again, sparked by desire blooming in his core.

"Bow? To you?" Technoblade threw his head back as he laughed. When he looked back at Dream, he found his gaze intense. Technoblade’s voice dropped into a threatening growl. "Not a fucking chance."

Dream hyperfocused on Techno, his eyes bright and grinning as he poked and prodded the tiger in its cage. He wanted to sink his teeth into Techno's flesh, taste the golden blood that sang to him, join his voice to the thousands filling Techno's skull until he reigned supreme.

The only noise in the cell was their breathing, their panting, each tasting the air to determine who was threat and who was fear. Who was predator and who was prey. Who would be king and who would be slave. Technoblade stepped forward and Dream echoed the step back. Another step forward and another step back, a dance each partner knew intimately. A giving of ground, a giving of trust. Dream felt the cold obsidian on his back, warming slowly outside in as lava dripped and popped around them. But still, he wore the crown.

“So,” Dream started, breathless as he tongued his fangs. “What was that about my bite?” Techno gazed down at him, his eyes glowing with a faint hint of red. Dream knew that look. And it took all his willpower to not drop to his knees and offer his own blood as sacrament. Technoblade tilted his head, gaze back on Dream’s mouth. He opened his jaws wide to show him. He knew Techno loved to see his mouth open, loved the teeth.

“Are those things even sharp enough to break skin yet?” Techno asked, not sounding convinced. The insult made Dream burn and he snapped his mouth closed, loud enough the sound echoed around the walls and back into his own ears.

“You want to find out?”

Dream saw his challenge alight something in Techno. He grabbed Dream’s chin and forced him to look up at his snarl. When he kissed him, it felt like a hurricane crashed into him. A giggly keen bubbled out of his chest as his lips caught and tore on Techno’s fangs. Dark blood smeared across their mouths and Dream felt his eyes roll back in delight. His hands clutched at Techno’s clothes, holding on as if it was the last thing grounding him to this plane. Techno’s tongue snaked past ruined lips, just under his teeth. Dream closed his jaw, the threat of a bite pressing down on the intruding presence. But Techno opened him up, exposing him for his pleasure. His tongue slid over ancient fangs that longed to sink into flesh, flesh with heart still beating, bloody, and struggling.

It felt like ages passed before they parted. When Technoblade moved away, Dream followed with a whimper. Dream watched, pupils blown wide from the dark depths of his desire, as Techno licked the dark blood from his lips. The intensity of Dream’s stare followed down his throat to watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed.

“It’s been a while since I last tasted your teeth,” he said, breathless from the kiss as well. Dream’s hands tugged Techno’s shirt free and burrowed beneath to warm against his skin. Techno’s breath hitched. Dream took this chance to urge him closer.

“More,” he whispered, he begged.

“Needy,” Techno teased with a laugh. He obliged and kissed him again, the hunger and voracity returning in full force. It had been. So long. Since he had touched someone else. Technoblade felt real, a grounding force that he had missed. The teeth in his flesh, the hands pinning his wrists to the floor, Technoblade’s breath labored above him. It was real. And Dream never wanted to let go.

But all things must come to an end.

Technoblade released his shoulder with an annoyed grunt, tilting his head to the side. Dream blinked his eyes open and gazed up at his partner. He heard the crackling static of someone talking to Techno.

“Yeah? Bruh, come o—” he growled softly, then continued in a calmer tone. “Alright, Sam. Give me a few more minutes, then I’ll be ready.”

Sam. Dream’s claws clenched around Techno’s sides, his body stiffening. Techno was leaving. He was leaving and Dream would be alone in the dark with his clock and his novels. Maybe for days. Or weeks. Or longer. A horrifying thought occurred to him, one that left him cold and shaking. Technoblade might never come back. Maybe this was a one-time thing. A last fling before he left him alone forever. Technoblade hissed in pain, flinching back from him.

“Dream,” he said, trying to pull him arm back. Dream’s claws went tight like a vice, breaking skin. “Dream!” Technoblade shouted.

“You’re not leaving!” Dream snarled, the second set of jaws falling in place. Technoblade snapped his fingers in front of Dream’s face, snatching his hand back before he lost it to Dream’s jaws. “You’re not-!”

“Dream,” Techno called again, softer this time. He cupped Dream’s cheek and waited until his strange eyes focused on him again. “I will come back. I promise. When I can get away, I will come and visit you. But you have to behave for the time being. If you claw me up, Sam might not let me back in. So please,” he motioned to the claws in his arm. Dream stared at him, panting, whining, then slowly retracted his claws. His gaze dropped away from Technoblade, guilt beginning to eat away at him.

“Hey, look at me.”

Technoblade watched as his partner lifted his gaze up. Dream’s hair was mussed up, his strange, strange eyes blinking openly at him. His mouth was closed and Technoblade could tell Dream was trying to hide his features again. Couldn’t let Sam see. He rubbed his thumb on Dream’s cheek, allowing a rarely soft expression to show on his face. “Beloathed,” he said. Dream’s tension softened a touch at the pet name. Technoblade knew he liked hearing it, liked being called those things. Technoblade had thought it stupid the first time Dream asked, but it grew on him over time. “I will come back. I promise.” He stood up and reached for Dream’s mask. He handed it back to Dream, coaxing him up to a sitting position. Dream hesitantly reattached the mask back on his face, then lifted his face up towards Techno.

Technoblade nodded with a firm nod, hid his arm in his robe, and called Sam. As he walked back across the lava, he glanced back at Dream. He was watching him, sitting just against the wall. Waiting for his next visit.

[laurasauras-reads]

Rereading Homestuck, post 1

i'm rereading homestuck! anyone who even vaguely knows me knows that i'm very familiar with the text, but while i've reread bits and pieces a lot, it's been a couple years since my last cover-to-cover reread.

quick disclaimer for those who don't know me: i write fanfic which is definitely regarded as problematic, but that's not reflective of my real world ideals. kinda weird that i feel the need to say that for the shippy ones and not for the violent ones, but there we go. just putting that out there so that no one follows me who thinks that engaging in fanwork is a form of moral activism or whatever. (my ao3 is laurasauras for those wanting to have a peek, i've written a bit of everything!)

anyway, onto the reread! if you haven't read homestuck in its entirety, including the beyond canon stuff and games etc, there may be spoilers. proceed with caution!

john is so cute omg

seriously, his little face. i want 10

i want to take a sec to appreciate that john's con air picture is the width of a double bed and almost the height of a wall

i love the little smiley he uses to mark his birthday

this is interesting, because every fic writer ever including myself writes john as loathing cake, but he's been eating it all day. seems like he's just very reasonably overloaded on something too sweet. there's only so much cake one can eat! and the house is quite literally lousy with cakes

okay, a number of things:

THE WALLPAPER. which, actually, i would also be proud of this. it captures something. i assume that dave could only aspire to something this hideous, and the fact that it's executed with perfect sincerity would kill him

john's programming files are ^cake. the ^ symbol is called a carrot, therefore you can read them as .carrotcake. possibly obvious, given the icons? but still a fun detail

the ~ATH one is similar. ~ is called a tilde, ~ath = tildeath. that'll come up again with the trolls, when karkat and sollux use ~ath to attach their programming statements to the death of the universe

the START button is ACTUATE. i really love hussie's way of using words. it's not even that they have a killer thesaurus, because i have one of those and let me tell you, the words that they use aren't standard synonyms. they're just like this. i wish i could know whether they did have some Better Thesaurus. it is taking great restraint right now for me to not look on my favourite online bookstore to see if they have cool thesauruses.

and of course typheus as a web browser. i cannot say for certain, but hussie gives me the vibes of a plantser. they did these first pages from reader prompts, so they were improvising a lot by default, which doesn't speak to having a rigid outline in my mind. in my experience, it's actually super easy to write something and make callbacks that seem as if you were foreshadowing things, especially when you throw as much stuff out there as hussie did. in saying that, they did stuff like name the kids' browsers for their denizens. so it's hard to say how much they planned/pantsed.

more examples of hussie's use of words. "rancorous". i'm reading all the rest as synonyms of "friendly", including "bully", like "oh, bully for you!" which is a bit out of fashion now but makes more sense in context.

ah, they are in love. (joking. unless?)

this is just an excellent way to begin the dialogue (pesterlog) of homestuck, dave and john have such choice reactions. "try using your brain numbnuts" is a brilliant quote. i also tend to forget that john isnt the only one to forgo contractions. not all the time, but all the characters share some tendencies despite their distinctiveness.

"hey did you get this game you want to play together? not like i'm interested or even want to play with you but you should go check now"

"did you see how it got slammed in game bro????" - this is fucking hilarious, like we get to read this review later and it says literally nothing about playing sburb, plus the magazine is a huge joke. i love that both john and dave read it. i assume rose does as well, actually. i'm putting this line down to masterful irony

[quelsentiment]

hi pal!! im sorry it's been a while since you've heard from me - this week got super busy with school & work and i've just been exhausted haha. yay for it being friday now! im bummed that the 2nd message i sent you last time didn't go through but at least i noticed and sent you a summary! how sad would it have been otherwise if you just got the first one sdfsfsdf why is tumblr the worst. I don't have tattoos so honestly im totally unqualified to be writing this au HAHA (1/?)

but i got so excited about the au that i wanted to go for it anyways! and i did watch a lot of tattoo related youtube videos haha. you're spot on about the fic being angsty but im reaching the end now so i'll be writing a lottt of fluff coming up hahaha. i'm so indecisive that im scared of the commitment of getting a tattoo more than the tattoo-getting process itself. but i guess im also sort of a baby when it comes to pain so there's multiple reasons lol! oooh halfway through is GREAT progress on your big bang! thats awesome! you've definitely got this. I have posted some other fics! i had to go check my ao3 to remember haha but ive got 9 works posted :) i've def been around for a while but only really gotten into writing later on. I think i officially joined the fandom in like...2012? wow, that feels like SO long ago now that i'm thinking back on it hahaha. eep! what about you? tbh i think having gotten into fic and writing is one of the main reasons im still around. im a TA too! thats so cool haha! this week is our last week of classes and finals are next week so its been sort of crazy. i taught my last class of the quarter on wed and its so weird to be done. this was my first time ever TAing but i really loved it! how has ur experience TAing been?? im in a phd program in biology/computer science (like sort of combining the two?) so thats what im studying! winter break is coming but i'll still have to work in my research lab, so its not much of a break but i wont have teaching or classes and plus i'll get a real break during christmas & new years! we're locked down again too but our rules for this time's lockdown have been very vague and confusing dsfsdfsd. but officially yes, same here! ive been in the habit of staying in anyways so it hasnt affected me too much hahaha. anyways that was a ton of messages but maybe that helps make up for being gone for a bit too? hope you're doing well & happy friday! any weekend plans? take care! -S xx

hi pal 💕

tumblr is The Worst™ (this time one of your messages came in four times 🤪)

but anyway, it’s nice to hear from you!! and don’t worry if you can’t make it every day, i know it’s a busy time with the end of term and all

oooh angst and fluff, aka the best combo!! it’s gonna be amazing i’m sure! and yeah, i think it’s the same for me, the pain doesn’t scare me that much, but it’s definitely a big commitment, so i don’t know if i’ll ever go through with it... what design(s) do you have in mind?

thanks so much! yeah i feel pretty good about it, i’m writing the majority of it in writing sessions with a friend, and that’s definitely helping with motivation! also i’ll get matched with an artist very soon, and i’m SO excited 😌

oh wow you’re almost an og fan 😳 the things you must have seen jsksjksj but yeah i totally get what you say about writing being the main reason why you’re still here. i only joined at the beginning of the year, but tbh if i hadn’t got into writing and also met a lot of friends here, i don’t know if i’d still be here, or just as a casual fan i guess

oh, what are your all-time favourite fics then? 👀

that’s so cool you’re a ta too, and that’s great you’re liking it so far! i never had to teach, most of what i do is marking and assisting in zoom classes, so it’s pretty laid-back. i’d love to try out teaching though, but it must be nerve-wracking, at least until you get used to it 😅 oh, biology/computer science sounds like a fascinating combo! at what stage of your phd are you? i’m currently finishing up my masters in linguistics. i might do a phd some time in the future, but it also sounds like a crazy amount of work, so idk... plus i have mixed feelings about making a career in academia 😐 did you start your phd right after finishing your previous degree, or did you take a break from studying at some point? oh and a research lab!! i was working at one too until i moved back here, i miss it 😌 idk how yours is, but mine definitely felt like home! it’s still nice you’ll get a break for the holidays though. do you have any plans?

hehe same here, they keep changing the rules about lockdown, but i also tend to stay home anyway, so i can’t say my life has changed that much this year 😬 as long as i’m allowed to take walks outside, i’m good

as for this weekend, my plan is: 1. getting ready for louis’ concert, 2. losing my shit during at louis’ concert, 3. recovering from louis’ concert (with some writing and cleaning and walking in between lmao) what about you? are you gonna be able to attend the concert? 

thanks so much for your messages, it’s really lovely to get to know you 💕 hope you have a good weekend!

[imagine-loki]

Yes Mistress

TITLE: Yes Mistress CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 29 AUTHOR: angryolwet ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine after a heated argument with Thor, Loki turns himself into a woman out of spite.  RATING: Mature/Explicit NOTES/WARNINGS: NSFW, This is a F/F BDSM relationship. If that’s not your cup of tea, don’t drink it. The events in this fic take place before the first Thor movie.

I AM SO SORRY THIS CHAPTER TOO SO LONG TO UPDATE!!! I meant to post at my usual time but I got very sick at the end of last month and ended up with vertigo for a few weeks as well. If any of you have ever had it, you know reading a computer screen is the last thing you want to do. Not unless you’ve got a bucket handy.

*****Trigger Warnings!!! This chapter deals with descriptions of child abuse and shitty parenting, (not Odin’s for once) and those parts are contained within the asterisks below.*****

You don’t super need to read that part for the chapter to make sense if it’s a sensitive subject for you, but it will give you an insight into Sanna’s family dynamics and those will play into the overall arc of this fic. Yes, there is an arc. And a plot. Despite my best efforts.

Kanelbullar - twisted cinnamon buns

Also on AO3

Slowly, Sanna came back. She felt the softness of the blanket and the sensation of someone stroking her face before her eyes opened.

“Can you hear me Pet?” Loki asked softly.

“Yes Mistress,” Sanna answered dreamily, smiling up at her.

“My good girl. Our meal has arrived. Do you think you can sit up for me?”

Sanna eased herself up and shivered as the blanket slipped down. She pulled it back up and looked at her Mistress.

“It’s alright Pet. You can bring the blanket with you. It’s time to eat.”

Loki got off the bed and stood up, holding out a hand. Sanna took it, wobbling a little when she stood. Loki held her until she was steady, rubbing her back in small circles as they left the bedchamber.

“Thank you Mistress,” Sanna said as she wrapped the blanket more tightly around herself.

“You’ll be warm soon Pet,” Loki tucked a loose tendril of hair behind Sanna’s ear. “You used up a good deal of energy during your edging. Eating will help.”

“Um, Mistress? Before we eat I need to–” Sanna broke off, poking a hand out from the blanket and pointing across the sitting room.

“Of course, Pet.”

Sanna headed towards the bathing room to use it’s facilities while Loki sat on the divan to inspect the contents of the covered dishes on the table. She had just started cutting slices off a rolled joint of spit roasted mutton when Sanna came back out, wrapping the blanket snugly around herself again.

“That was quick,” Loki remarked when she sat down next to her.

“I was inspired, Mistress. The bathing room is rather cool, even with the shielding up.” She rubbed her hands together in an attempt to warm them.

Loki reached out and took her Pet’s hands in hers.

“You are chilled,” she began to rub Sanna’s hands between her own. “Shall I light the fire? I never notice the cold myself, though I’ve heard Thor whine about it enough. You’d think we were on campaign in Jotunheim instead of camping in the forests on a hunt.”

The image of Prince Thor covered in snow and icicles made Sanna giggle.

“I’m alright Mistress. Truly.” Sanna took back her now warm hands and started making up her Mistress’s plate, cutting slices of bread for both of them. “I believe you are right and I just need to eat something. And it has been raining on and off since midday,” she looked out at the damp night and shivered a little under the blanket. “The weather can’t seem to decide if we’re in spring or summer.” The gentle afternoon showers of Garth’s prediction had given way to a cold, soaking rain once the sun had set.

Loki made a face. “All too soon it will be summer and nothing but heat, heat, and more heat.” She loathed the thought of summer, but it did give her an idea. “One day, we should go riding to one of the shaded pools that hide deep in the royal forest. Mmm… Stripping down and diving into fresh, cool water. Tell me Pet, can you ride? Or swim?”

Sanna paused from buttering the bread she’d just cut and turned to her Mistress.

“Hmm. Do you know, I don’t think I've ever been on a horse in my life. Although I do have a vague memory of trying to ride a goat once when I was very small. I remember being frustrated because it wouldn’t hold still long enough for me to get on…” Sanna paused, fiddling with the butter knife. “No. I’m sure I haven’t. We didn’t use them on the farm and none of the neighbors were horse breeders. We did have a rather old and rather surly grey pony that Old Frederick would use to pull the cart when he went up to the manor house for supplies. He was the only person in this realm that animal tolerated, it would bite everyone else that came near.” She resumed her task.

“And I could swim as a child, Dagna saw to that. I haven’t had much chance to since I left our house to serve Lady Audney. There was a wide, slow moving river not far from our farm. I used to go and sit in the shelter of a large tree on it’s banks whenever–” Sanna broke off.

“Whenever what Pet?” Loki paused and looked over. She could see her Pet was upset by the memory.

Sanna chose her next words carefully and blew out a breath.

“Whenever I’d run out of the house. It seemed like everyday I’d be scolded by our mother for one thing or another. Mostly for not getting my chores done properly. She would never let anyone be idle,” she paused and swallowed. Composing herself.

*****

Her mind was flooded with the memories of repeating tasks over and over again until they were done to her mother’s satisfaction. One particular memory –one she’d tried very hard to forget– came suddenly to mind. A memory of scrubbing the stone floor of their house one winter for almost the entire day. It was just before Yule. Her mother had been perpetually unsatisfied with her efforts, even ‘accidentally’ spilling things on the floor for her to clean up. Sanna’s back had ached. Her knees were bruised and her knuckles had cracked and bled. Her hands were numb from the water that had gone cold and she kept dropping the big scrubbing brush, making it clatter on the stones and drawing her mother’s attention to her.

When Dagna had come in from tending the animals outside and saw what had been going on, she’d been furious. Sanna would never forget the sound of her sister slapping their mother’s face and the horrible words they screamed at each other. Sanna had never heard her sister raise her voice in anger to anyone before. She had hidden under the table, curled on her side to make herself as small as possible until the row was over. The bucket she’d been using to scrub the floor had been knocked over near her at one point, but she’d been too afraid to move. She’d stayed still as the freezing water soaked her dress and hair. Wet, cold, and filthy. Hands pressed to her ears, sobbing, trying to drown out the noise. She still hated the sound of angry shouts and raised voices to this day.

Eventually their mother had left the house to go tell their father about what her sister had done and said. While she was gone, Dagna had coaxed Sanna into coming out from under the table. She’d filled the big bathing tub by the fire with warm water and and had helped her get into it, washing her gently and rubbing her sore back. Then her sister had helped to get her into a clean night dress and wrapped her in a blanket. Dagna applied a salve to the cracks on Sanna’s hands before feeding her and putting her to bed.

The whole time Sanna had been terrified and started at every sound, thinking it was their mother returning. She knew her sister must have been punished terribly for striking their mother– it was all Sanna’s fault– but she couldn’t remember how or what had happened for nearly the rest of that winter. At the end of the following spring Sanna had left the house to work for Lady Audney.

But her Mistress didn’t need to know any of that. Or that her mother’s 'scolding’ was usually accompanied by a blow of some kind. Sanna’s pride and her fear would never let her tell her sister, let alone her Mistress. She’d promised herself all those years ago that she would stay silent and do better, no matter what. Never to complain and create more trouble. She wasn’t about to break that promise now. And besides, it was over and done with and would probably just upset her Mistress.

*****

“When it became too much, too heavy to bear, I would run out of the house. No matter what direction I ran in, I always seemed to end up by the big tree near the river. Eventually Dagna would come and find me. Once my tears were dry, she’d take me back. Sometimes we’d go swimming in the river first if it was warm enough. She wanted me to know what to do in case I got too close to the bank and fell in.”

Loki’s face was unreadable as she said solemnly, “I would so very much like to meet your sister one day. It seems she was the only source of happiness or tenderness in your childhood.”

“Oh no Mistress! Not the only source. Our father was quite kind, when he could spare time for us. The farm keeps him very busy, though I now suspect some of that work is to keep him out of the house and away from mother. In the summer he would take us fishing at the river– I mean Dagna and me, Mother hated the river– and we’d laugh and scream and splash each other once the three of us were done hauling in the nets.” Sanna smiled at the memory. “We’d walk home smiling and laughing, soaking wet with that day’s catch.”

She was eager to tell happier memories, she’d had no one to tell them to since she’d left Lady Audney. Marit was sweet, but she had no interest in any form of rural life and had quickly changed the subject whenever Sanna had mentioned her time in the country side.

“I remember one time, Father took me with him on a trip to a neighboring farm. The man kept bees and we went to collect a big crock of honey in exchange for some of our hay. I must have been very young. Probably around the same time I tried to ride the goat. Father lifted me up into his lap and kept me from falling off as he drove us over there and back. He even let me have a spoonful of honey on the way home and made me promise not to tell Mother.”

Sanna looked at her Mistress from under her lashes. “That’s where my taste for it comes from. It’s always been a sweet, secret treat.”

“Mmm… Perhaps I should keep a small jar of it here and let you lick it off me as a reward for your obedience?” Loki purred.

Her Pet blushed a bright red and squirmed on the divan while whispering, “I wouldn’t object if you offered it in any form, Mistress.”

Loki had finished cutting up the meat and divided it between their plates.

“Good to know. Open.” Loki popped a piece of the mutton into Sanna’s mouth.

“Mmm… This is almost as good as Dagna’s. She uses garlic in the dredge.”

“Alright. Now I must meet your sister.”

They both burst into laughter. Once the plates were ready, Loki pulled Sanna over to straddle her lap and tucked the blanket around her. Holding up a bite of meat to her Pet’s lips, Loki asked absently, “Perhaps I shall have Brynhild create a robe for you? Would you like one Pet? In gold and sapphire blue silk, I think? Jewel tones seem to suit you.”

Chewing and swallowing the meat gave Sanna time to think. She offered her Mistress one of the roasted vegetables pieces from her plate and said, “I will wear anything you wish me to, Mistress. I’ve never had one before.”

“I suspect there are a lot of things you’ve never had before, and I mean to give them to you.” Loki promised solemnly, making her Pet blush and duck her head.

“Now Pet, tell me.” Loki held up more food to Sanna’s mouth. “How was your day?”

They fed each other. Sanna spoke of meeting Garth and being reminded of how much she loved planting things and watching them grow. How far she had gotten through the play her Mistress had recommended and what she thought of it thus far. Her initial nerves at being summoned to tea with the Allmother and her relief and joy at finding her Mistress’s mother to be kind and attentive. Loki listen to it all with rapt attention, asking questions and laughing where it was appropriate until the meal was finished.

_________________________________________________________

“So you got on well with my mother then, Pet? Not frightened of her anymore?” Loki teased popping the last bite of her kanelbullar into her mouth and licking her sticky fingers before wiping them on a damp cloth.

Sanna, slightly indignant, finished her own and sucked at her fingers as she replied, “Well, she is the queen after all. And I wouldn’t say I was afraid of her so much as afraid of disappointing her.”

She wiped them off and stood up, gathering up the used plates and cutlery before refilling her Mistress’s goblet and her own with wine and getting comfortable again. She leaned against her Mistress and tucked her feet up under the blanket on the divan. Sanna wasn’t chilled any longer, but the material was soft and felt wonderful against her skin. Loki wrapped her arm around her Pet, pulling the girl close and put her own feet up on the table, long pale legs exposed. She used her seidr to send the uneaten food and dirty plates back to the kitchen. They sat in a comfortable silence, sipping wine.

After a moment or two, Sanna spoke. “The Allmother is so kind. I confess, I do want her to like me. Oh did I tell you, I mentioned to her that I had a wish to improve my stitching and she’s promised to have one of her handmaidens teach me. And I’m to come to tea with her again in a three days, if you can spare me that is.” Sanna looked at her Mistress with pleading eyes.

Loki sighed and toyed with a tendril of her Pet’s hair that had escaped it’s plait, wrapping it around her fingers. “Oh, I suppose I can get by without you for one afternoon.”

Sanna leaned up and kissed Loki’s cheek and settled back down against her. “Thank you, Mistress.”

The comfortable silence resumed.

After a few more minutes had passe, in which Sanna had nearly been lulled into sleep by the good food, strong wine, and the calming presence of her Mistress, she glanced up and saw her Mistress with her head tilted back and her eyes shut.

“Are you tired?” she inquired.

Loki opened her eyes and looked at her. “Hmm? No Pet, not really. But my head does ache slightly. I think I read for too long and sat too still in the Archive today. My body is no longer used hours of inactivity. As a child I could sit and read for hours without noticing the time pass. Now, what was once a joy has become a chore and I’m already starting to resent it.”

“Perhaps you’re striving to achieve too much too fast Mistress? You have years before you are expected to take on your new role. There’s no need to push yourself so hard.” Sanna chided gently.

“Oh, that’s not what I was doing Pet. After I spoke with the Allmother, a new idea came into my head and I put away all of my work to start a new project. It concerns a school of seidr I’ve woefully never bothered to learn. Tell me Pet, did Lady Audney ever speak to you of her role at court?”

“Lady Audney?” Sanna started at the sudden change of topics. “Well, no. Not really. She taught me courtesy and what would be expected of me as a handmaiden to a Lady of the court. She rarely talked of her life before. I think it reminded her of her son, the one she’d lost, and that always gave her pain. She couldn’t bear to hear his name said aloud and never used it herself. She’d just say 'my son’, and even then it was usually in reference to something he’d done as a child, never as a man grown. I can’t recall her ever speaking of Lord Morten. We got supplies once a fortnight from the manor and I know they were from him.”

“Do you know what happened to him Pet? The son that died, I mean.” Loki asked.

“I know he was killed in a terrible accident. That’s all anyone would say. But what does Lady Audney have to do with divination?”

“Quite a lot according to my mother. She wasn’t a seeress herself, but she could inspire and strengthen visions in others who were. Do you recall yesterday, when we went into my storage area downstairs and you found my old cradle? Do you remember what were you thinking of when you touched it?”

Sanna reached out and set her now empty goblet on the table and sat up, turning to face her Mistress. Loki did the same, stretching her arm across the back of the divan.

“Well I– I don’t know. I was thinking of a lot of things then. Mostly what you must have looked like as a baby–” Sanna broke off and flushed a dull pink.

“What else Pet? I know you’re holding something back. I can tell by the blush on your face,” Loki prodded her.

Sanna tugged the blanket back around her shoulders, as if trying to armor herself against her embarrassment. “I… I was thinking,” her blush got deeper and stretched from her hairline down to her chest. “I was thinking about… what it would be like… to… to have a baby. Your baby Mistress.” She ducked her head and bit her lip at her guilty admission.

Loki removed her hand from the back of the divan and lifted Sanna’s chin to look at her. She took both of her Pet’s hands in her own.

“What exactly Pet? Being pregnant or nursing or rocking it in the cradle? What image formed in your mind?” Loki pushed again. “It’s important.”

Sanna heaved a sigh. “I think it was mostly just what our baby would look like and rocking it to sleep.”

“No image of nursing it at your breast?”

“No. Why? What is so important about this?” She was embarrassed and uncomfortable at the unending questions.

“I had a vision while we were down there. When I turned and saw you touching the cradle I staggered for a moment, do you remember?” At Sanna’s nod she continued, “I didn’t say anything then, because I wasn’t sure what had happened. I’ve never had visions before, or any aptitude for divination so I’ve never studied it, but I know now that I had a vision of you.”

“Me?” Sanna squeaked. She was dumbfounded, her eyes were large as she stared at her Mistress.

“Yes Pet. You were in your little room and sitting in the chair I sent up here. I saw you from the doorway. The cradle was at your feet but it had been freshly polished. The room had been painted and was filled with the things needed to care for an infant. You were nursing a black haired babe at your breast. You looked older than you do now. I heard you humming a soft melody and saw you smile at the child. It was the same smile you had on your face while touching the cradle. That’s why I asked what you were thinking of.”

Sanna was speechless and kept staring. The blush had left her face and she had gone very pale.

“I’ve only just started to research the subject and I still have much to learn, but I believe you may have the same ability as Lady Audney. You might be the reason for the vision, not just the subject of it.”

“Me? What? No! I don’t– How? How can I–” Sanna sputtered. She was dumbfounded. Had all the reading today somehow damaged her Mistress’s mind?

Loki continued on as if her Pet hadn’t spoken.

“I used my seidr on you, the first night you slept beside me. Do you remember a dream of us sitting under a tree beside a river? My telling you to raise your skirts? You woke in the middle of the night and I found you freezing yourself in the bathing pool. I used a spell to enter your dreams.”

Sanna’s blush came rushing back at the memory of the dream and what had followed it. Of her Mistress pleasuring her in the safe place of her childhood. She wasn’t sure whether to be angry or ask her to do it again… But her Mistress was still talking.

“…and that’s why I had to know what you were thinking of. If the same images were in your mind and mine, it might have been a hold over from that spell, or some accident of my seidr and not truly a vision at all–”

“Wait! Just, just wait a moment! Please?” Sanna pulled her hands from Loki’s grasp and put them to her own head. “Does this mean I am going to have your child at some point in the future?”

“I– Honestly? I don’t know. I think what I saw was a vision of a possible future, not necessarily the future we will have. Probably. Like I said, I haven’t ever properly studied the subject. And it’s not something I can walk up to the Allmother, or any other seer, and just ask. Not even as a hypothetical question.”

Sanna slumped back against the divan, her mind whirling. Abilities she might have and hadn’t known existed. A possible baby in her future– well she wanted that… didn’t she? It was too much to take in. Her head throbbed.

“Mistress, can we please talk about something else? Anything else?” Sanna pleaded and rubbed at her temples. Loki’s hands replaced her and she sent a tiny burst of seidr through her Pet’s head, soothing it as Frigga had done for her earlier in the Archive.

“Of course Pet. Would you like me to distract you from your thoughts?” Loki had moved the book of plays her Pet had been reading off the table when the servant had brought in their meal. It was sitting next to her, half tucked under one of the cushions on the divan. She pulled it out and held it up. “Shall I read to you?”

“I thought you’d had enough of that for today?” Sanna was beginning to feel like herself again, and her instinct of caring for her Mistress was making her feel less stupefied.

“Well, there is one other thing I can think of.” Loki shot a lecherous smile at her Pet and offered a hand to her. Sanna didn’t hesitate to take it.

[actualbird]

hey, so, this is gonna sound like a weird question, but how did you get to be so well known for your writing? i've written a lot of bmc fanfic and i'd like to think i'm pretty good (i'm actually on your fic rec a couple times) but I feel like it's way harder for fanwriters to get noticed than fanartists. Do you have any advice on how to get word out about your fics? Thank you so much and have a great day!!

not weird at all and in fact ive gotten this question a lot (albeit in dms/private convos) i absolutely agree with you that fic writers have it tougher concerning getting noticed. it’s definitely not because the production of one is harder than the other, but it’s simply by virtue of creating content via a medium that takes longer to consume on social media platforms that are inherently fast paced. on that note, getting “well known” is a mixture of things you Can Control and things you Cant.

Can Control is based on what i guess we can call quality which youve got cuz if ive recced you then i LOVED whatever it is you wrote!!! and im a little bit of a picky reader kjfhkdsjf. but theres also the intricacies of making sure your fic has a good, enticing summary (ive grown quite fond of the “excerpt + actual fic summary line, possibly witty, possibly vague, you’ll have to read to find out” formula, since it works wonders in getting people to Click), well tagged, well titled, no author’s notes that go “sorry this is crap” (number one turn off is an author who apologizes for quality. if you dont believe in your work, how do you expect anybody else to? that isnt to say all writers should be sure of themselves, but def keep it out of the summary/notes. youre tryna sell yourself, so make it look Good). now that that’s done, make sure to post and promote your fics well. post it on ao3 at a time when people are most likely to be reading (ive assumed this to be in the general morning of the western hemisphere since ppl wake up to check ao3 like a daily newspaper), and make a post on tumblr too if youve got one. tag that post well and reblog that post a bunch of times too. stand on a table and yell at followers to read your fic. i did this sneaky thing where i’d link my other bmc fics in the endnotes of some chapters of forest, kinda like a netflix recommended page, but the only thing i was recommending was Me. perhaps slightly narcissistic but hey, if it works, it works. assuming youve already got all that down and good and your fics still arent getting noticed, this is where things unfortunately lapse into the realm of things you Cant Control.

you Cant really control stuff like what the audience wants. i got well known in bmc because the fic i was writing just so happened to coincide with the thing a lot of people wanted. they wanted boyfs and pining and i just so happened to be writing exactly that. there was a demand and i had supplied it. you Cant really control timing either, something i got super lucky with because i entered the fandom at its mid-early first surge. there wasnt that much fic yet but many people wanted to read, so people flock to whats there. economics or something. you Cant really control the amount of “well known-ness” you already had prior. i’d been writing fic for a long time and picked up a lot of followers bouncing around fandoms which def helped with my fics getting off the ground. you also Cant really control how your fics spiral after that. sometimes somebody else with a lot of followers will like it and rec it, sometimes that wont happen. my fics ended up getting fanart which i am so eternally grateful for and still stare at lovingly from time to time, and that also helped with promoting the fic further. but that was something out of my control. in short, i was pretty goddamn lucky

a lot of “getting noticed” is really not up to you at all, and it makes me really sad to see wonderful works and wonderful writers not getting the recognition i feel they deserve. it’s why i keep making ridiculously annotated fic rec lists and reblog fic posts of fic i enjoy. the only thing you can do as a writer is write what you want to the best of your ability and hope things go well. but for the fic readers, it really goes a long way to show your appreciation through reblogs, comments, bookmarks, and recs. come on guys, we do fuckloads of words for free. throw us a bone. 

anyway, i hope this….helps? this isnt advice so much as me shaking my fist at Circumstance, but i hope your fics get more attention and love. i also hope you have a nice day!!!

[mellinelli]

⚪️🟣🟢

⚪ White - What drew you so much to your muse?

*holds face in hands* i have no. damn. idea. my best guess is that my brain saw similarities to pecking. Taako from TAZ and was like "that one. we're grabbing that one" because i have written fic centered around him in the past. though i can't roleplay him so who the peck knows at this point. brains are weird

regardless, it wasn't a conscious decision. i just looked around somewhere around end game and realized Melli had decided to take up residence despite the fact that one of the friends i was reacting to while playing hates him ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

figured i'd make a blog for him to play with a different friend. and then Daybreak happened and it was revealed how they used to be shy and that pecking enabled me to go so far with the somft headcanons

🟣 Purple - Is there a fandom you are in that’s unrelated to this muse?

i mean it depends on how to define "in a fandom" tbh but uh. i have roleplay blogs for uhhhhhhhhh characters related to five other fandoms? if i counted right. and have written fic for a variety as well. main blogs (as opposed to side blogs like this one) for roleplay are Kaito's (Magic Kaito), Elphie's (Wicked), and Robin's (One Piece) though i'm not super active like. anywhere tbh XD

i don't even have any pokemon fic on my AO3 tbh, though i've been tempted to post my ficlets from here on there. just haven't gotten around to it

there's also a fair amount of shows i enjoy (mostly animated) that i haven't made content for

i've also been to a show specific con multiple times in the past but let's be real, i was mostly there for the cider and because someone else drove and paid for the hotel room. voiced a couple fan characters for that fandom too, but i do not want this showing up in the search stuff for that fandom so i'm being vague on purpose

🟢 Green - How far, if at all, do you think you have deviated from cannon?

oh gosh. uhhhhhhhhh. i mean i deffo play Melli softer than ever gets shown in canon, that's for sure. also like? i look at all the clues that they put in the game saying that Melli is awful (doesn't get a crobat, has a pokemon that it specifically says in the dex does not do well in the cold live right at the snow line, the whole everything with how we met him) and like? dig into it to make it Less Bad™

crobat? he worries that she won't be able to walk and take breaks as well as she can as a golbat. plus a fear of how people around him might view him. he's built up a reputation and is afraid of what will happen if he loses it

skorupi? look he found a friend at the beach it's not his fault he ended up living in the highlands. he makes sure there's blankets and someplace warm and they sleep together for warmth

the stuff about how they were when we met them? they're a bunch of insecurities all tied up in a rancid little bow. none of what they did is good but they had reasoning for it

basically i try to make the character a bit more sympathetic. also i refuse to have a character who's abusive to pokemon be in charge of the care of such a special one. especially one so prone to self damaging moves. does that feed into how Melli acts? yeah, a little. he doesn't have to pay as much attention to making sure fainting doesn't happen as Iscan. but also he's prepared to deal with recoil damage being a thing

i do not care what canon implies, Melli is not abusive to his pokemon. i could not stomach him being a warden otherwise

[thestuckylibrary]

Hi there:), I'm super sorry this is so vague but I've been trying to find this fic based around Bucky and Tony's friendship (it was definetly a stucky fic though) and I remember this one scene where tony gets sick or something and Bucky looks after him and tony says something about how Buckys to kind for everything hydra did to him, thanks

you should try our Tony+Bucky Friendship tag and this AO3 search!

EDIT: anon found the fic!

A Precarious, Fragile Thing by Taste_is_Sweet

I didn't know he did that," Tony said. He knew Bucky liked tucking himself so far under Steve's arm that it was like he was trying to climb into his armpit. But he'd always stayed upright, just kind of plastering himself against Steve's side. This blanket thing was new.

"Seventy years of skin hunger," Steve said. His voice was just as soft, but for a moment his eyes flickered hot with anger, bright as the candy-colored screen. "He was always tactile. Now, when things get…well, sometimes it helps. The contact."

And it looked…nice, the two of them together like that: Comfortable. Familiar. Safe. Tony knew what a precarious, fragile thing it was, to feel safe in the middle of the night.