Wish
For the first time in years Joel acknowledges his birthday and wishes on a star. He gets pulled into the past and relives his birthday, the day that changed everything.
Words: 1.7k+
Warnings: all of the emotions. Sadness, depression, but also happy moments and hopefulness :)
*part of @burntheedges roll-a-trope challenge*
Main Masterlist
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September 25, 2033
It’s almost Joel’s birthday. Again.
Over the years, he’d let it pass without thinking about it. Losing track of the days was easy while he roamed, too caught up in trying to survive.
But now, in Jackson, time isn’t as elusive. Joel wakes up knowing that Mondays and Tuesdays are for patrolling, Wednesdays and Thursdays are for guard duty, Fridays are for helping with construction, and the weekends he keeps to himself.
The powers that be in Jackson also keep track of time, mostly for crop rotation and organizing the seasons, giving structure to the lives of its citizens. That means Joel has been aware of his birthday this year, creeping closer and bringing along memories he hates.
This year, he can’t live in blissful ignorance while it comes and goes, especially with Tommy around to remind everyone. So instead, he runs from it.
Joel walks down the soft, snowy streets of Jackson with his camping gear strapped to his back. He told Tommy he was going outside the walls tonight, making up some excuse about scouting a building that might have supplies to scavenge.
It was a lie.
Joel needed space—a place where he could wallow in solitude when the old feelings haunted him as his birthday approached.
With his gathered supplies, Joel mounts his favorite horse and rides out of the commune, waving to Tommy atop the lookout tower.
“See ya when you get back! And happy early birthday, big brother!” Tommy yells down.
Joel winces at the reminder and rides off into the distance.
---
Hours later, Joel makes his way to a familiar spot in the forest, a clearing he often visits while out on runs.
This hidden clearing, nestled deep among the trees and brush, is spacious enough for him to see the stars twinkling overhead while remaining safely concealed from any lurking dangers.
He sits by a small fire, eating his rations and gazing up at the night sky, lost in thought. He reflects on how he ended up here, all that he’s been through and all that he's done, dragging himself deeper and deeper into the pit of despair he so often finds himself drowning in.
Suddenly, something twinkles far above in the night sky, streaking across the tops of the tall oak trees.
A shooting star.
Joel had never seen one before; he had thought they had vanished like so many other pure wonders and good things in the universe. But tonight, he was wrong.
Unable to resist, Joel’s eyes follow the tiny, sparkling fragment as it glides across the sky. In that moment, he decides to be hopeful just one last time. After all, his birthday is approaching. Despite years of loathing it and skipping celebrations, maybe he deserves to make one wish.
As midnight strikes and the star falls, Joel closes his eyes and makes his wish.
He wishes to no longer hate this day. He longs to free himself from the burden of September 26th—the day he was born, but also the day he lost his reason for living, the day he lost Sarah. He wishes the memories of despair would lift from his shoulders, that things could have been different. That he could have cherished just one more birthday before everything fell apart and the world went to shit, giving him more good memories to hold onto and keep him company throughout the years.
When the shooting star fades from view and the sky darkens again, Joel feels a wave of silliness wash over him. Of course, his wish wouldn’t come true. With a sigh, he stamps out the fire, crawls into his sleeping bag, hand resting on his rifle, and drifts off to sleep.
---
September 26th 2003
Joel wakes to the sound of an alarm clock blaring.
He bolts upright, heart racing, and instinctively reaches for his gun—only to find nothing there.
As his vision clears, he realizes he’s not in his sleeping bag anymore. He’s in a bed—his bed—from thirty years ago.
Joel rubs his eyes, blinks, and even pinches himself, trying to shake off the dream, but it feels all too real.
Looking around his old room, everything is just as it was on the last day he lived there: rumpled sheets, a pile of dirty laundry in the corner, an old newspaper, and a glass of water on the bedside table.
It’s as if he’s been transported right back to 2003.
Warily, Joel gets out of bed and notices his joints don’t ache as they should. He races to the mirror attached to his dresser and takes in his features. He looks exactly as he did thirty years ago: fewer lines of age and worry, hair short and dark, no grey in sight, and far more muscular. There isn’t even a scar across his nose or temple.
Joel stares at himself in the mirror, breaths coming rapidly. It’s a dream, he tells himself, repeating it like a mantra.
But what if it isn’t? What if everything is as it’s supposed to be? A redo.
Just then, he hears something he never thought he’d hear again, and it takes all his strength not to fall to his knees.
“Daddy!” Sarah yells, her singsong voice bright and clear, just as he always remembered.
She bursts through his bedroom door, grinning from ear to ear—beautiful, whole, and safe.
“Happy birthday, you old fart!” Sarah teases.
Joel bounds across the room, scooping her into his arms.
“Babygirl,” he chokes back tears, wrapping his arms tightly around her. “You’re okay.”
“Uh, yeah, I’m fine,” she replies, her voice muffled against his chest. “Why are you being so weird?”
He doesn’t want to scare her, so he pulls himself together, trying to act like this isn’t the most magnificent moment of his life—a blessing to have another chance with his girl.
Gently, Joel loosens his grip and smiles down at her, cupping her cheeks in his hands.
“I love you so much,” he tells her.
“I love you too, Dad. I wish you didn’t have to work today. Working on your birthday is so lame.”
She’s right. That is lame. So, Joel does what he should have done the first time around: he pulls out his old cellphone and calls his boss to take the day off.
“Does that mean I get to skip school too?” Sarah jokes.
“Well, it’s only fair,” Joel says, a grin spreading across his face.
Sarah’s eyes widen. “Really?!” she squeals, excitement radiating from her.
“Why not?”
---
Joel meets Sarah in the kitchen, and together they spend the morning making pancakes and dancing to their favorite tunes. When Tommy arrives, Joel manages to talk him into skipping work as well.
“Come on, Tommy, you’ve never complained about skipping work before,” Joel teases.
“Fine,” Tommy says, his mouth full of pancake. “But when I’m short on rent this month, I’m counting on you to back me up.”
The three of them enjoy breakfast together, relishing their time as a family.
They spend the day having fun together, going to the park for Sarah to show off her soccer skills, stopping into town for ice cream on the way home, and lounging around on the couch, soaking in the quality time.
They end the day with a movie—a birthday tradition featuring "Curtis and Viper 2." This year, they even have a cake since Joel was able to skip work to pick one up.
With bellies full of sugar, Joel, Tommy, and Sarah are all sleepy-eyed on the couch, watching the end credits roll, when Sarah suddenly perks up.
“Present time!” she cheers, darting to her bedroom. Moments later, she returns with a small box in her hands.
“You got me something?” Joel asks, pretending to be just as surprised as when he first opened his birthday gift.
Sarah hands him the box and settles next to him on the couch. “You kept complaining about your broken watch, so I figured… you know.”
Joel opens the box to reveal the watch he prized above all else. He picks it up delicately, admiring the shine of the silver and the smooth, unbroken glass of the watch face.
“You like it?” Sarah asks, her voice tinged with nerves.
“Honey, this is nice,” Joel replies, tapping the watch. “But I think it’s stuck.”
“What?” Sarah exclaims incredulously. “No way! I just got it fixed—”
Joel bursts into laughter, and Tommy joins in.
“Oh ha ha, you got me,” Sarah concedes, rolling her eyes. “That was lame.”
“Where’d you get the money for this?” Joel asks, placing the watch around his wrist and snapping it into place.
“Drugs. I sell hardcore drugs.”
“Nice, kid. Real proud of you,” Joel laughs, playing along.
“Maybe you can help me out with this month’s rent then,” Tommy jokes from the other end of the couch.
“Thank you, honey,” Joel says, pulling Sarah in for a hug and kissing the top of her head. “I love it.”
Soon after, Sarah falls asleep on the couch, leaving Joel and Tommy some time together. Joel appreciates this; he’s missed his brother, and it weighs on him how their relationship has deteriorated over the years.
“Wanna go out to the bars to celebrate?” Tommy asks after a while.
“Hell no,” Joel replies. “Your ass will end up getting arrested.”
“Not fair! That only happened once!” Tommy whines.
“And it sure as hell will happen again if I don’t keep you in check.”
“Whatever,” Tommy concedes, settling back into the couch and scrolling through TV channels in search of something to watch.
“I’m gonna take her up to bed,” Joel says, nodding toward Sarah before standing and gently scooping her into his arms.
He carries his sleeping daughter to her room one last time, tucking her in with a kiss on the forehead. Instead of leaving, he wants to soak up every moment with her, as if any could be his last. So, Joel kicks off his boots and slides into bed beside her, wrapping an arm around her.
He falls asleep with a full heart and a smile on his face, grateful for the best birthday he’s ever had.
---
September 27th 2033
When he opens his eyes again, Joel wakes up on the cold, hard ground to birds chirping in a forest clearing. He should feel disappointed to be back in the present, but instead, he chooses gratitude. Grateful for the chance to relive the last moments with his daughter. Grateful for a wealth of new memories to carry with him through the years.
He realizes that maybe next year, when his birthday rolls around, he’ll remember the laughter and dancing in the kitchen with Sarah instead of the horrors that have haunted him for so long. The warmth of those moments will be a beacon, guiding him away from despair and toward hope.
With a deep breath, Joel rises to meet the day, ready to embrace whatever comes next.
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