#but it made me feel something so deep like looking at my body like ive never seen in it before idk but so powerful and beautiful

[medusa1597]

got my stitches removed today and i genuinely felt something like grief i was kind of into having this weird external stuff on my finger forever

[dvlboy]

stinky sukuna causing trouble once again!!

NOTE: yuuji is legal in this fic, incubus au

TOP MALE READER READ DNI

he whispered in his ear a tempting curiosity, and planted the seed of desire deep within him. for when it bloomed, it would be unstoppable.

it was a typical night for you, maybe slightly lonelier then some days. it was rare for such a mundane day to occur, but there were no complaints from you. it seemed normal when you went to sleep, a strange but pleasant feeling. you had seen a strange male in your dreams, black marks and clawed hands. last night was the closest he had gotten to you, whispering his name in your ear before you woke up in cold sweat. he had a faint mark on his body, and a grin. when a frantic, persistent, annoying knock woke you up at some ungodly hour in the morning.

you considered not opening it, hoping that whoever it was got the hint, until they started begging your name at your door. it was a familiar voice, one that you had always known. there was a familiar pink haired male at your doorstep, mumbling to himself and teary eyed. concern immediately welled up within you as you rushed to get him inside your small house.

he wasted no time in flinging himself on you, wrapping his arms around your neck and inhaling your scent in big deep breaths. whatever sleepiness you had was fully gone, and replaced with confusion. he was muttering into your neck, going a mile a minute and with a red blush blooming over his face. he took a deep breath, looked you in the eyes and repeated himself once more.

"i.. uh.. its a long story but i ate a cursed finger and its another long story but basically i have another entity in me and hes annoying and opens his mouth alot and talks to me in my headandhesanincubus." another loooong inhale before he spoke again. "andhesbeenputtingstuffintomyheadaboutsexandijustcantgetitoutofmyheadprobablybecausenowthathesinmybodyheschangingit."

he then looked at you, before his eyes drew to the waistband of your pants. "i uh, i uh.. its been on my mind.. i just can't get sex out of my head and i've been tired and .." he paused again, "sukuna won't shut up about it in my head, and tonight its been the worst its ever been.. ive been fantasizing about you and i need to see if what hes been saying is true.. please don't hate me.."

he even sat on your couch, staring at you with those big teary eyes, even grabbing your hand and rubbing his face against it. he sure was desperate, and plus it was your duty as his best friend, right?

_____________________________

he is so,, so eager for anything. you started off by making out with him, something that he took to like a champ, sweet moans were contained between your lips and he was more then eager to dwell deeper and deeper with newfound sin. he felt so energized by a simple make out session. he hoped that his energy came more from the excitement of doing it with you, and not what the demon inside his head was alluring to.

and when you pulled out your dick yuuji placed his arm against it, cooing at how it compared to his arm. this was the most quiet sukuna has been since he swallowed that damned finger. it felt like his body was in heat ever since you kissed him, and seeing your thick, pulsing length measure up against his arm made that heat in him burn in anticipation. he's jerked off to porn thinking of you, imagining you deep within him, the feeling of you pinning him against a wall and using his body for your own need.

at first sukuna whispered about how good it is to cuddle with someone, then it became how nice it would feel to have your warm, strong body cuddle against his. then it became planting thoughts in his head, making him wonder how big your dick is, or if you were as gentle in bed as you were talking to him. drilling fantasies was practically effortless given that the male jerked off every day and imagined it was you two instead. being a part of yuujis head meant that he knew everything, including that you were the easiest target in making him succumb, and break to his will.

and being near him just made you reckless, your festering desire to be in him and be connected to him made you do stupid things. he tenderly grabbed your dick, almost like he was trying to see how it felt on his hand, how the heat and weight felt. he could feel you throb freely in his hold, like it was inviting him to touch it, to touch you. and who was he to deny you? his eyes were blown wide, and everything about you from how you look to how you smell invited him closer to you. he was starting to get desperate, gruff whines mixing in with his pants whenever you roamed his body, faint whispers and begs to stick it in. your touch ignited the fire deep within his body, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could wait for you to put it out before it ingulfed him entirely.

he was sensitive, and so,, so tight. yuujis salmon hair was sweaty and he already cum from sheer anticipation of getting fucked. currently he was facing your ceiling, his sturdy thighs wrapping around your waist while you thrusted into him. his walls were as needy as he was, sloppy noises filling the room. his toned body was stained with milky fluids. so this is what its like.. fucked out, he thought that in bliss feeling you deep in him. yuuji could feel your powerful thighs piston, and your slick cock hit something deep inside. yet somehow, he still wasn't getting overstimulated. before all of this started, whenever he would jerk off to the thought of you he couldn't last more then a few minutes.. and boy did you not disappoint. you truly look as good above him as you do everywhere else, and the smell of you encompassing him would make him lightheaded in the best way possible.

"see, why deny it?" a cruel voice rang in his mind, making him wince, he tried to ignore it and closed his eyes, tensing. you paused, asking him if he was okay.

"don't deny your body yuuji, give it what it wants..take it for yourself.." it came in a faint whisper in his mind, the lust clouding his mind, tempting him beyond his imagination.

the only reason why he opened his eyes, was because you felt up something that made him jolt, and yelp out a moan. the feeling was so unfamiliar that he snapped his eyes open, seeing you stare at his pelvis in slight awe, and slight worry.

there was a faint glow of a symbol on his abdomen, something that would have made his blood run cold if it weren't that you were here with him, and if he wasn't deep in pleasure.

"he already saw it, dummy. why are you still denying yourself? he can clearly handle it." sukuna was getting impatient, annoyance tainting his words. yuuji didn't want him to ruin his first time, much less with you. if he could just ignore him for a bit long..

"if you won't dwell in your desires, i will.." he could feel a growing force in his head. "let me show you how its done.." and suddenly, itadori wasn't in control of his own body.

his thighs gripped your pelvis before sukuna pushed you down, clawed hand on your chest, sinking deep on your cock. he could see how your mind connected the pieces, seeing your friend transform into the demon from your dreams. his grin came on his face, his hand running over your face before his nail was right at your lip. sukuna peered over your face, gripping your chin. "miss me?" your grunt annoyed him as much as your frightened eyes. one deep, passionate kiss was enough to have your eyes gloss over slightly, and was enough to subdue you.

"now be a good boy," that grin came back on his face when you nodded. he sank on your cock, frothed cum leaking from his ass while he toyed with you. the mark on yuujis body glowed bright pink, and you couldn't help but reach out and touch it.

thats when those smooth, pleasured grunts turned into another yelp of deep nirvana. sukuna was gripping your sheets, tearing them and biting his lip. he himself seemed surprised, covering his mouth.

yuuji in his mind tried to gain control of his body, but the overwhelming force that sukuna had, and the inexperience of himself meant that he could only wait until he had more strength to gain back control. he was forced to watch everything, helpless.

"y'know, that boy really likes you, and you can keep up with me.." he got real close to your face, pleasured insanity running through his eyes and a blush on his face, which means we will see eachother alot more.." sukuna pulled back, gaining back his composure and running his hand through his hair, looked back down on you.

"now let me drain you until you're dry and begging for more.." that was the last you remember after being pulled into a kiss, a pleasurable dream that lasted for hours. the next thing you remember is being woken up by a naked yuuji panicking, and urging you to go wash up with him. and since when did you have all these markings all over you?

____________________

PLEASE leave comments, or rbs for motivation !!

[blitzyn]

pervert

miguel o'hara x spiderman!reader

request : none

Synopsis: A game of cat and mouse goes to shit, and you find yourself bound in Miguel's webs.

a/n -> literally nobody asked for this but he's been stuck in my mind for decades and i wanted to get something out for my bbg <3 also super sorry i disappeared again, writers block straight up bitch slapped me and left me in a ditch, plus ive been losing interest in writing for genshin or just the game in general, unfortunately.

wc -> 3.3k

cw -> very dubcon, mean dom miguel, degradation, bondage?, face fucking, google translated spanish, spit as lube, anal fingering, anal sex, slight and brief choking, (semi) public sex??, not beta read

Exhilaration filled your veins as breathy laughs escaped your throat, weaving through buildings and rubble with the precision of someone who has experienced this type of chase countless times before.

And that's because you have. You've been in a near never-ending game of cat and mouse with the esteemed Miguel O'Hara, always close enough to feel the swipe of his talons in the air but too far to catch. No matter how many times he's cornered you, you always find a way to get past him; it was predictable at this point.

That pissed Miguel off like no other, hellbent on capturing you to put an end to your snide remarks, to put you in your place. While that usually would've enticed you in any other circumstance, you weren't too keen on letting him dig his claws into you now that you were chest-deep in this predicament — and his wrath.

"Stop running, already!" he shouted, the sharp edges of fury evident in his voice.

"I'm not running!" you respond, peering back at him with a smug grin. True to your words, you, quite literally, were not running. You were swinging with the agility of a seasoned acrobat, twisting and flipping through debris while looking like you were having fun. You offered him occasional glances and nearly laughed each time. Seeing him, a grown-ass man, almost constantly on all fours was amusing, but hearing him curse and grunt and growl made electricity shoot down your spine in a way that nearly got you caught several times.

Adrenaline filled your body and threatened to burst through your chest each time you evaded him. "Missed me!" you laughed, juking away from his swipe.

"So close!" you flip over him with a taunt. "Try again next time!"

"¡Voy a matarte!¹" He growls, and it was hard to ignore the shudder that rushed through your body. You slightly winced at the feeling. If you don't get your shit together when he spoke Spanish, then you were asking to get caught.

But it's not like you'd mind — Actually, yes, you fucking would!

You click your teeth in annoyance. Despite how hard you tried, you couldn't remove Miguel from your thoughts even though he was right behind you, hunting you down like a wild animal. Your mind strayed toward his broad shoulders, beautifully tiny waist, fat ass (that you'd give a lot to slap), and the massive piece of rubble being hurled at your body.

You blink out of your stupor, feeling your senses going off rather violently. Oh shit.

Everything seemed to move painfully slow as you stared at the debris with wide eyes, noticing Miguel's red web attached to it as he brought it down. You flung your arm out in an attempt to attach your webs to something and swing away, but was unable to pull yourself fast enough as the debris pinned you down to the roof of a building.

"Fuck!" you thought as you grunted and squeezed your eyes shut, agony tearing through your entire body. Swiftly, you pushed against the ground to shove the heavy object off of you, groaning with effort. Just as you managed to stand back up, you heard the familiar thwip! of his web wrapping around your waist and arms to yank you to him.

"Caught you," he said, voice rough and breathless as he panted hard. He loomed over you menacingly, hands curled into a fist.

You struggled, kicking and straining against your binds. "Come on, Miguel." You offer a tense grin. "We both know this won't last very long."

"Ay dios míos,²" he growled, dropping to a knee to roughly press a hand on your face, his fingers digging into your cheekbones. "¡Cállate!³"

...

Woah.

You stared at him with wide eyes, feeling your cock stir in your pants. Oh fuck.

It was hard to ignore your ever growing attraction (and hard-on) for him that seemed to intensify when he deactivated the hologram of his mask. Sweat beaded at his temple while his eyes narrowed at your bound figure, fangs peeking out from behind his lips as he caught his breath.

Even when you were the target of his anger, he was still breathtakingly hot.

You opened your mouth again to shout at him — probably to let you go or something along those lines — but Miguel wasn't having it.

"Why is it so much to ask for you to keep your fucking mouth shut for once?" he hissed, squeezing your cheeks tight enough to ache, but it only went straight to your dick. "Is that all you can do? Run your mouth until someone gets sick of your shit and shuts it for you? Huh?"

You whimpered, meekly shaking your head in denial. Tightly closing your eyes, you swallowed hard and squirmed, secretly trying to will away your hard cock straining against your clothes.

"You're so annoying! Stop moving," he demanded, reflexively looking down to adjust his position over you. His eyes raked over your body for a moment before zeroing in on your erection, pausing in surprise.

.

..

...

"Oh, you pervert."

Your eyelids snapped open at his words, mortification seeping deep in your chest as you shifted your head away from him in shame. Despite everything, you could only feel yourself getting harder under his intense gaze.

"Is that why you made me chase after you?" He forced you to look at him again, your face aching at his manhandling. "Because you wanted to fulfill some dirty fantasy of yours?"

He let out a dry laugh. "You couldn't find anyone willing to satisfy that depraved urge, so you turned to me. Just how desperate are you?"

You shook your head again, letting out muffled words. He mercifully removed his hand from your mouth to allow you to speak, sliding lower to rest on your throat. "I was just playing..."

"Yeah?" He tilted his head mockingly, momentarily adjusting himself to grope your painfully stiff dick. "And this was your master plan? To get off at the face of danger? You're more of a degenerate than I thought."

"N-No, I didn't—" you moaned, reflexively bucking your hips up into his hand.

"Stop lying." He squeezed the hand around your throat just enough to force labored gasps from you. "It's stupid how you don't think I've seen the way you look at me — how you think I haven't noticed you eyefucking me."

A furious blush rises on your cheeks as your cock twitches in his hold. It doesn't go unnoticed.

He laughed again, staring at you in mock disbelief. "You're enjoying this."

And this time, you don't deny it.

"Can't say I expected anything higher from you." He rolled his eyes in exasperation and removed his hands from your throat and dick to place them on your thighs. Effortlessly, he pried them apart to slot himself in between your legs, pressing his crotch flush against your ass.

Groaning, you lifted your hips a bit in an attempt to grind on him. With a growl, he swiftly slapped a hand on your abdomen to push you back on the ground.

"Don't move," he said, glaring at you with a mix of arousal and irritation in his eyes. "I've had enough of you getting your way." He leaned forward, a wince crossing your face when he pressed some of his weight onto your stomach. "It's my turn."

"My way—?" You cut yourself off with a huff when he gave you a stern look.

A thought seemed to pique his interest when he suddenly decided to kneel beside your head. It was nigh impossible to tear your eyes away from his crotch, the area beginning to glitch with a dim, pale blue glow at the strain from his hardening cock.

"Let's put your mouth to better use." He grabbed a fistful of your hair and deactivated the hologram covering his dick. It landed on your face with a quiet slap before his hand guided it to your lips.

You hesitantly parted them, only for them to be forced open wider to make room for his cock. You let out a surprised sound at the entry, but he was entirely focused on making you take him completely.

He was gracious enough to take it slow, relishing in the sounds of your gags and sputters and every deep inhale.

"Thaaat's it," he drawled out, sighing heavily when he felt your tongue rub against the underside of the shaft. "Fuck..."

Your eyelashes fluttered as he buried your nose into his pubic hair, uncontrollably drooling over him while you sucked and licked what you could. You felt him harden in your mouth, forcing himself deeper into your throat while it tightened and spasmed.

He increased the speed of his thrusts, absentmindedly shuffling closer to your face. A shiver ran down your spine when he slithered a hand on the junction between the back of your head and neck to hold you firmly.

A garbled whine left your throat as you subconsciously jerked your hips upwards, searching for some form of relief for your aching cock. You strained against the webs around your torso and arms, utterly intoxicated with his taste, his scent, his sounds—with him.

With a groan, he shoved himself as far as he could inside your throat and held you in place, ignoring how you instinctively struggled against him. A high-pitched ring sounded through your ears as your head spun, chest tightening with the need for oxygen.

Shuddering, he finally pulled out of you, watching with satisfaction as you coughed and gasped for air. A mix of saliva and precum connected your lips and the tip of his cock, to which you quickly licked away. You let him inspect you with a hand still buried in your hair, gaze locked in on your drool slicked chin and swollen lips.

A quiet hmph left him before he turned to place himself back in-between your thighs again, this time extending his talons to tear a path in your clothes from your ass to your crotch.

"H-Hey! Hold on—" you protested and kicked his arm away from you.

"Shut up," he cut you off, swatting your foot away while grasping your painfully hard cock again. "Don't act like you don't want this."

"G-God..." you moaned, furrowing your brows as you stared at him. A squeak left your throat when he suddenly pressed your legs to your chest, a quiet ptuh! escaping his lips alongside a glob of saliva that landed on your asshole.

Retracting his talons, he let go of one of your legs to press two fingers against your hole, shoving them inside you abruptly. You winced at the sting his thick fingers made as it mixed in with the arousal that burned in your gut. He separated them in a scissoring motion, moving in and out at a pace that had you yearning for more. His fingertips brushed against spots so frustratingly close to your prostate, you were sure he was purposefully avoiding it to mess with you.

"H-Hurry up," you demanded, the ache in your balls beginning to prove to be something you could hardly handle.

He gave you a sharp look. "Tell me to hurry up again and I'm leaving you like this."

You stared at each other for a moment longer before you looked away in defeat, muttering under your breath. He ignored you and added another finger, the wet squelching blending in with your soft moans. His hard cock pressed on your thigh, and you briefly wondered how he wasn't fucking you within an inch of your life already.

Quickly enough, you were able to realize that he wanted to make you wait. He wanted to give you a hard time — just like you did to him.

"C-C'mon, Miguel." You breathlessly chuckled, straining against the webs around your torso.

"What?" He raised a brow, satisfaction seeping into his expression at your growing desperation.

You opened your mouth again when he unexpectedly jabbed his fingertips onto your prostate, sending a violent surge of electricity through your body. "Fuck!" You cried out as a spurt of precum leaked out of your dick and enlarged the wet spot on your clothes. He continued targeting the gland, refusing to let you get a word in your sentence. The coil in your abdomen tightened into an almost unbearable degree before he abruptly removed his hand from you entirely.

"God, just fuck me already!" You jerked your hips upwards in a futile search for stimulation.

"You sound just like a whore," he commented, tone full of condescension. A heat washed over your body at his words as you stared at him with wide eyes. You tensed when he leaned down, lust and mirth swirling within his red irises. "Is that all you are?"

"What?" You found yourself unable to look away from him. "N-No, I—"

He shoved his cock inside you mid-sentence, tearing a loud moan from your throat. He held your thighs to fold you in half, using his body weight to pin you down. You panted hard as you tilted your head to the side and squeezed your eyes shut. It was hard to focus on anything else but his dick filling you up so perfectly.

Miguel released a gutteral groan, grinding his hips against you. He dug his fingertips into your legs hard enough to bruise, but that was the least of his worries — not when he had you below him. After a moment that felt like an eternity, he leaned back (mercifully removing some of the pressure on your chest) and watched himself move in and out of you, pulling out almost all the way before he slammed himself back inside.

"Ohh, fuck!"

"This is what gets you — mierda⁴ — all compliant, huh?" He taunted, abdomen flexing with every thrust. "The moment you get some dick inside you, you're like a trained mutt."

You opened your eyes to weakly glare at him, to deny what he said, but the moans spilling from your lips did nothing but prove him right.

"Te gusta cuando te trato como si no fueras nada, ¿no?⁵" He leaned back down, hooking his arms around the back of your knees as he pressed his chest against yours, curling his wrists around your thighs to grip the flesh. His breath was hot and heavy against the shell of your ear, lips so close you could feel the vibrations of his voice in your ear drum. "Aren't I right, you dirty little pervert?"

"N-No! S'not right!" You cried out, the burn of his cock stretching you out mixing in with the pleasure so deliciously it was almost addicting.

"Deja de mentirte y admítelo, puta,⁶" he hissed, widening his mouth to graze a fang along your neck threateningly, which sent a shiver down your spine. "Admit it — that you're a depraved whore."

"Admit it." He emphasized each syllable with a thrust, ramming into you hard enough to fuck the breath out of your lungs.

"Shit—fuck! Oh, god!" You sobbed, arching your back into him. You nearly came at the feeling of his abdomen rubbing your aching dick. "I'm a whore! M'your whore!"

His cock throbbed fervently at your words, rewarding you with groans and grunts directly into your ear. Your ass slightly stung at the force of his thrusts as he fucked his anger into you, but neither of you cared.

"Fuuuck!" You drawled out. "Miguel, m'so close! Let — ngh, ah — Let me cum!"

"Yeah?" He cooed in your ear, gently licking the shell. "You gonna cum f'me?"

"Yes, yes—!"

"Then beg."

He stopped moving so unexpectedly that it left you disoriented for a few moments as you stupidly stared at him with wide, watery eyes. "W-What...?"

"Beg to cum," he leaned away from you to get a clearer look at your face. "I'm not repeating myself."

You took a moment to catch your breath (and secretly savor the feeling of his dick twitching inside you). "God, please, Miguel! I need it so bad. I need to cum — please let me cum! I'll be good, I promise! Fuck, Miguel, please let me cum! Please, please, please!"

The sight of the tears along your lash lines sent electricity down his spine as his breath hitched. "You'll be good?" He dryly laughed. "I don't think I believe you."

You opened your mouth in defense when he suddenly slammed himself back inside you, tearing a moan instead of words from your throat. He fucked you hard and fast and deep, grunting in a way you could only describe as animalistic.

But you loved it. You loved how he controlled your body so effortlessly, how he treated you like a cheap fuck toy. You mentally deemed all those chases worth it in the end.

The heat from less than a minute or two prior returned full force as you tilted your head back in ecstasy. You babbled out incoherent words of (what Miguel suspected to be) praise, straining against your binds once again.

You screamed out when the coil in your abdomen finally snapped, electricity shooting down your spine as your cock spurt cum underneath your clothes. You weren't able to process the stain in the fabric when you realized that he hadn't slowed down, deciding to fuck you through your orgasm to chase his own.

You stared up at him, admiring the slight flush on his cheeks, how his brows furrowed in concentration, and even his eyes that shone with disdain towards you.

You could feel his dick throbbing inside you, and you quickly realized that he was about to cum as well. The ecstasy you were granted slowly began to merge with the pain of overstimulation, but it only made the hazy bliss you were in so much better.

"Yes, yes, Miguel!" You gasped out as your legs trembled in his hold. "Cum inside me, please, I want it!"

He grunted at your words, fucking you with a few more harsh thrusts before he suddenly pulled out. It took you a moment longer than normal for you to process the uncomfortable emptiness as he let go of one of your legs to quickly jerk himself off.

"What—No! Please, Miguel!" You pleaded uselessly, wincing when he tightened his grip on your thigh and unintentionally extended his talons. They penetrated through your clothes and pierced your skin, drawing a bit of blood, but that was neither of your concern at the moment.

"Ay, solo cállate ya,⁷" he growled, releasing your thigh to press his palm against your mouth to silence you. You let out pathetic whines and whimpers, but Miguel was focused on achieving his orgasm.

With a final few strokes, he finally came with a loud groan as his cum spurt onto the floor. He angled his hips to make sure none of it landed on you, much to your obvious dismay. With a heavy sigh, he leaned back and stared at your bound body, trembling and helpless. It was satisfying to see you in such a state.

He reactivated the hologram over his softening cock before binding your legs together in a way that hid the large hole in your pants to prevent anyone from figuring out what the two of you did.

He sighed heavily and slung you over his shoulder, standing up to look around and figure out where the fuck he was.

"You have a really nice ass," you commented after a moment, unable to keep your compliments to yourself.

He groaned. It was gonna be a long trip back to HQ.

Translations:

1: "I'm going to kill you!"

2: "Oh my god."

3: "Shut up!"

4: "Shit..."

5: "You like it when I treat you like you're nothing, don't you?"

6: "Stop lying to yourself and admit it."

7: "Oh, just shut up already."

cross-posted on ao3

[nnight-dances]

CASUAL

PAIRING: karina x fem!reader

GENRE: fluff, angst, smut (explicit, but not too much?)

TROPES: fwb to lovers except you're roommates and best friends, unrequited love but not really.

LISTEN TO: casual by chappell roan

NOTE: i may be having a bit of a military wife moment rn but i'm still a sapphic at heart yearning for something more... my first gay fic i've posted on this account yay! cannot reveal if ive been in a similar situation but you could say this is based on real life! whose life, i will not say. hope u enjoy and stay safe everyone <3

knee-deep in the [twin bed] and you're eating me out

you want to say you're in control when it happens, but you'd be a big fat liar if you did. truth be told, karina had you wrapped around her finger since she moved in. (in more ways than one, if you catch my drift.) 

you met her late freshman year in college when you shared a gender studies course with her – which alone would've been enough of a clue to which ways she swings, if not for the black leather jacket and unnecessary amount of rings she wore to class. she'd sat next to you the first week in and approached you after class. "this class is a bore," she said as a matter-of-factly, "wanna get coffee with me?" 

you'd agreed because you were mesmerized (even though secretly, that was the favorite course you took that year) and followed her into a cafe, letting her sweet talk you into all kinds of things from there. she had a big friend group which welcomed you generously when they found out you were friends with karina and eventually, that became your everyday life. 

you worked on papers sincerely while karina watched you with an unreadable glint (maybe it was unreadable, maybe you didn't want to read too much into it), swirling her untouched coffee. eventually one day, she asked you, "wanna be roommates next year?" 

that was karina. easy-going and confident. she didn't hesitate to ask you to do things with her, even if they were often bending the boundaries of what friends could do. exhibit a: she'd asked you to make out with her at a party just so she could shake off a creep. in general, she was touchier than the normal person, finding a way to cup your stomach under your shirt when you weren't looking. you get the idea. 

that's how when she moves into the same room as you sophomore year, you lost all sense of self and reality. you have to thank your mom who convinced you to arrive on campus a day earlier than most, so you could settle in without the bothersome crowd. 

you're in the middle of fixing a poster of your favorite band, the strokes, in the wall when she lets herself in with a, "you're already here, jagiya!" you almost lose your footing on your chair in order to face her, heart already a fluttering mess thanks to her shameless flirting. 

"karina!" you call out, thrilled to see your friends, complications aside. you step down carefully before throwing yourself in her waiting arms. "you're here earlier than i thought."

she pulls away with a devilish grin, "missed you too much so i came early." she looks around the room, "i see you've already made this place home."

you smile, unsettled by the way she's still holding you in her arms, your bodies attached at the hip as she takes in her home for the next year. she smells like she always does: like grapefruit and spicy cedar. you feel relaxed in her embrace, taking in her appearance. she's wearing a cropped tank with a large flannel that slips off her shoulder thanks to the heavy tote she carries.

with a sigh, you take the tote off her. "your hair grew longer," you comment as you place the bag on her desk. karina does a little spin for you, giving a full view of the wavy locks that came all the way to her navel. it only made her that much more charming (you couldn't resist wanting to know what it would feel like to run your fingers through them). 

you watch as karina lugs all her stuff into the room, refusing your help with a strict look. "can't have you spraining something already, jagiya," she quips and that's all it takes for you to sit back obediently. she takes off her flannel, letting you take in her arms. was it just you or did her biceps get bigger? (it wasn't just you. karina spent her summer the gym rat way.)

"you barely have any stuff…" you murmur mindlessly when she's nearly done in half an hour. for reference, it took you three whole hours for two days to set your stuff in place.

"you just have a lot of stuff," karina laughs, closing her closet with a satisfied clap. "thoughts on ordering in for din'?"

you raise a brow, "shouldn't we at least go see if everyone's back?"

she shrugs, "we can just go after we eat." she approaches your bed, resting her forearms next to you. "come on, i don't feel like eating that prison food just yet."

despite karina's exaggeration (your dining hall makes perfectly edible food), you let karina order for you. who are you kidding? the thought of sharing a meal with your newly established roommate in your new room on your first day together… it was sweet, you had to admit. so you give in and tell karina exactly what toppings you want on your bowl. 

but where you had expected to bond in all kinds of cozy ways with karina, the night quickly an unexpected turn. you're not sure how it happens but you end up caged under karina's body on your bed. her hot breath is hitting your face, "you got even prettier over the summer, huh?"

her words make it harder to think. to think about how this your best friend slash roommate slash the person you would do anything for. fuck, it's too late and you're too helpless when it comes to her. karina's already sliding her hand down your stomach, eliciting a mewl of her name from your throat. 

she looks pleased, chesire grin lighting up her face when she reaches your panties. "mhm, karina–" you claw at her shoulder when a cold finger meets your slick folds. she kisses your cheek and then your mouth, so strong that you can't do anything but hold her closer to your chest till she's ripping a scream from you. 

"karina, what are we doing?" you cry out, still coming down from your orgasm. what the fuck, this not a situation to be with your roommate.

"what?" she whispers, lips attached to your neck without a care in the world, "i'm just doing what i've been wanting to all summer."

"okay, that's enough," you push her off until you're both sat. you're breathless so it doesn't help the gravity of the glare you hold karina captive under. she sits back on her palms, eyes hooded. 

"we're friends," you start and sensing the protest rising in her, you hold up a hand, "and roommates. you know what they say about that, don't you?"

"don't shit where you eat," she deadpans, "but i don't care. i'm not shitting anywhere. i like you, you like me. that's why we're friends. if we want to fuck around a little, what's the big deal?"

you contain a scoff at how unbothered she is. at the same time, her words stab you in the heart, the subtle friendzoning nature of them not going unnoticed (that's why we're friends? what if you wanted to be more?)

"listen, jagiya," karina shifts dangerously closer, a thumb wiping away the sweat on your lip. "it's chill. we don't have to if you don't want to. but i'll tell you right now; i want to do things with you."

"things?" you breathe even though you know you shouldn't fall into her trap.

"yeah," she caresses your cheek, licking her lips, "want to kiss you. make you come. that sort of thing."

you fall against her weakly, feeling the soft strands of her hair envelope you like a dream. with your eyes closed, all you can feel is warmth of her body and none of the cold of her words (kiss, fuck, chill. no love.) 

"only if you let me eat you out, too," you finally murmur against her skin. feel her shake with laughter.

"thought you'd never ask."

you wake up in karina's arms. she'd dozed off in your bed as if hers wasn't two hops away. the thoughts makes you flushed (despite everything) and you turn around to face her. she's still asleep, peaceful as ever. you trace the mole below her lips, envious of how little she was attached to you.

not to drown yourself in self-pity, you had always been too attached to karina for your own good. a week into being friends with her, you would jump at a text from her, dropping everything to meet at her the cafe she had wanted to try or to help her get ready for a party. 

but it wasn't without reason. she was sweet to you, genuinely. karina sensed your moods smoothly, knowing when your silence was more than comfortable and when your drunk crying meant you were actually upset over something. she listened to you, no matter how little you claimed the problem to be, her reliable shoulder always yours when you were in trouble.

so you couldn't blame the butterflies in your stomach at waking up with her. right?

"we never made it to meeting our friends," karina mumbles through a yawn later. you're both in the middle of getting ready for the day, thankfully still a grace day before classes start. 

"you clearly had other plans," you purse your lips in the mirror, working on fixing a bump in your hair. stupid karina and her arm under your head all night. 

she comes up behind you with a playful smile, taking the brush from your hands to rake it through your hair herself. "you say that like you didn't have fun," she says. she brings your hair into a bun, taking a hairtie off her wrist to secure it in place. patting your head with eyes on you in the mirror, "there. you look cute."

you heave a deep sigh at the motions that stir up at her actions, sliding away to pretend to busy yourself with your bag. "we should go meet them today," you say, "or they might declare us dead."

"definitely," karina laughs.

meeting your friends helps you a little. maybe it's because you're seeing them after so long or maybe it's just the fact that you have normal friend feelings for them. but it's nice, you can lose yourself in a nonsense conversation with seungkwan about your recently acquired obsessions with various mobile games.

he's in the middle of offering to show you his brand-new coffee machine when karina shouts, "guys! gather up! minjeongie is driving us to get ice-cream! on her!"

you spot the short blonde attacks on karina at the presumably false declaration. your rommate dodges well, bent in a fit of laughter at minjeong's tantrum. "okay, i lied! everyone buy your own ice-cream."

as it turns out, minjeong's car is definitely not big enough to fit all 8 of your friends. "looks like we're fighting it out the fairest way," seowon declares, readying her fist for rock paper scissors. 

"since only five of us can go," karina starts, somehow finding her way next to your side. you shiver when her hands clasps yours. "minjeong, y/n, and i are definitely going."

you watch in shock as everyone wreaks havoc at her words. "now why would we allow that–"

"see, it's technically just two seats taken," she explains calmly, "y/n's sitting on my lap anyway." you gape at her audacity as she holds up your intertwined hands, like a wedding announcement.

you try to weasel out of her grip, mumbling, "that's fine. i don't really want to go–"

"what? of course you do," karina's hand tightens and you curse her strength, "you love ice-cream, jagiya. come on. let's go."

your friends seem dubious of the interaction but with a few statements along the lines of they're in their honeymoon phase as roomies, they return to the rock-paper-scissors battle at hand, now the stakes reduced to four seats now. 

"calling shotgun by the way!" karina calls as she pulls you after. you don't know what to say honestly, overwhelmed by her hand in yours. you had expected her to pretend things were the same as always but clearly not: you had never gone as far to sit in her lap with your friends around (alone was a different story. but you swear you'd only ended up in her lap because she'd wanted to hug you through your breakup with your ex.) 

"karina, you're crazy," you tell her, finally shaking your hand free. you cross your arms and karina simply takes a chug of water from the brita in geum's minifridge. 

"why? because i volunteered my lap so we'd get to go?"

before you can really give her a piece of your mind, minjeong interrupts. "looks like they figured out the winners. we're leaving in the next five minutes or the offer's off the table."

– 

two weeks and your mom invites me to [lunch]

"y/n, it's so nice to see you again," karina's mom is saying, sliding a menu toward you. thanksgiving week was around which meant parents were abundant on campus these days. it also meant your own mom couldn't make it because she was swamped with work, no thanks to her job as an on-field reporter. 

"of course, you've lost so much weight since we last met, eommeoni," you smile.

this is fine for the most part of it. you genuinely enjoy karina's mom's company. she's kind and sincere, always bringing a gift for you along with karina and treating you like her own. but this time around it's different because it's the first time you've been sleeping with her daughter.

in fact, just that morning, karina had kept you in bed longer than usual, complaining because you had gone to bed earlier than usual. it had been part of your plan to keep your conscience clean for when you met her mother, to make sure you didn't lose her respect. but being the nefarious idiot she was, karina had crawled up your torso, eyes going sweet at you, "please, just once?"

so now you had a dirtier conscience than usual, having been panting in karina's lap just hours before this lunch. 

but even if you tried to maintain composure in front of her mom, karina made it impossible. she slid close to your shoulder, hand splayed across your bare thigh (curse you and your decision to wear your sundress out today). it's honestly harmless and even excusable as a friendly gesture, but ever so occassionally, her hand climbs up, reaching closer and closer to a position that was far from appropriate.

"so tell me, do you two have any classes together this semester?" karina's mom asks you between mouthfuls of rice. you take the chance to peel karina's hand off but it ends up at your knee like a magnet. 

"not really," karina answers easily as if unaware of the power struggle going under the table. probably because she was winning by a mile. 

"i told karina she should take an elective with me but she refused," you complain, deciding if this was the way you could hit back then so be it.

"i think you forgot to mention it was an economics elective," she corrects you, hand basically clawing at your inner thight by now. you shift uneasily and karina's mom laughs.

"you know jimin," she shakes her head, "she doesn't take the serious courses. only painting all day long."

"eomma," karina groans, "how many times do i have to tell you? it's not just painting. i'm an arts major. that's like the second hardest major at this school."

"really? what's the hardest major?" (the only right question for a mother to ask.)

the rest of the lunch goes by quickly, fortunately for you. you're the first out the door, eager to put some distance between you and karina. you pretend to fan yourself out of the hot mess she's made of you.

"i have to say," karina's mom says as she gets ready to leave, "you two seem to have gotten closer since you started rooming together."

"really?" karina wonders as if clueless to the arm around your shoulder, where it had been the whole walk back to campus from the restaurant. (insufferable, you whisper to her. cute, she accuses you.)

"thanks for sticking next to her, y/n. who knows where my little girl would be without you?"

you brush of karina's mom's words of flattery, not voicing the thoughts that arise. where would i be without your daughter? 

– 

i know what you tell [our] friends

imagining a life without karina becomes terribly real when it becomes clear to you that karina truly has no intentions of treating as anything more than a friend who she sleeps with and not just as roommates. 

it's a cold slap of reality that you finally feel one day when you're eating with minjeong and seungkwan. karina's next to you, like she so often is, hand on your elbow for no good reason.

"so everyone's been wondering…" minjeong starts to say and seungkwan shoots her a glare, realizing where this was going.

"...are you two a thing?" she points to the point of contact between you and karina.

"what?" you squeak, pulling away at the call-out. but your mind goes blank, all the excuses you had practiced in your head deserting you. you had expected someone to catch on sooner or later, but somehow right now all you can think of is how you already miss karina's touch. i'm in love with her, it occurs to you to say. (wait, you love her? you wonder distantly as if the answer hadn't been crystal clear the minute she crossed lines with you.)

karina shrugs, "we're fucking. but it's casual. no attachment or anything." she adds with an arm around you, "just girls being girls, right?"

you muster out a laugh to agree with her, ignoring the concerned look seungkwan pins you with. minjeong seems convinced though, "no way! you're sleeping together? i guess it must be convenient… you live together."

"yeah, you could say that," this time it's you responding, swallowing the tremble in your throat. you'd rather die than let karina get a whiff of your true feelings. you stand up.

 "it's easy." it's the hardest. "not a big deal." you thought about it every waking second. "i have class now though. see you guys later." 

you did not have class. you ran to the nearest bathroom stall to lock yourself in and let out the sobs that had been threatening your system for the past three weeks. you make sure nobody can hear you and then wipe your tears with the spare tissues you carry in your bag. 

you leave, hoping nobody notices your red eyes. 

that night, you go to your room later than usual, counting on karina to be asleep. you should know better though because she's up, in nothing but her night shorts, sitting on your bed. 

it almost frustrates you for a moment, the sight of her curled up so comfortably on your bed like you were lovers. but you weren't. you weren't even close. but she perks up like maybe you are, calling out your name sweetly, "you're so late today. is everything okay?"

"yeah," you say, not making eye-contact for too long as you rest your bag on your desk. you contemplate leaving the room just so you didn't have to feel this hot volcano erupt in your chest. but instead, you undress, aware of karina's unwavering gaze. you make sure to slip off your pants and put on a baggy shirt. no shorts, like karina liked.

"we're a fully dressed person put together," she liked to joke when she'd bring your bodies close. you laughed along but all you wanted was to actually be one person with her. maybe that would justify why you were so attracted to her. 

"come on,," she coos when you jump into bed. "i know something's wrong. your eyes are red. your shoulders heavy."

"can't lie for one second with you, can i?" you sigh into her skin when she hugs you. 

"sorry, jagiya. maybe if i was a man, you could get away with it."

maybe that would make it easier. if one of you was a man. at least then someone would bat an eye at the concept of a no strings attached situationship between best friends. you were practically begging for someone to object to its apparently platonic nature. (you were begging yourself.)

"i didn't even shower," you complain when she explores your bare stomach with her fingers.

"it's fine. we'll just take one in the morning."

she holds you to the promise, waking you up half an hour earlier than usual just so she could drag you into the shower. two girls showering together, a sight nobody would see because it was dead quiet until an hour from now. 

– 

i try to be the chill girl 

you knew it was too good to be true, your friends-with-benefit situation with karina. but now that your feelings are actually catching up to you, you can barely hold in the tears that overwhelm you when you look at her.

then, when you finally decide to suck it up and show up to dinner with your friends, it all goes south. thanks to some dumb group project karina's doing, a guy named taeyong was at your table. you knew him by name from college gossip. he was fit to be the protagonist of a rom-com, nice guy with the looks to go with it and he was friendly, fitting right in with the group of friends. 

bitterly, you reflect on how long it had taken you, in comparison, to warm up to everyone. a month, maybe? plus, he looked perfect next to karina, their unusually good looks matching each other's quality.

you're not the only thinking that because geum pipes up, "you two look good together! when's the wedding?"

seowon hits his arm though most of the people on the table join in laughter. (you don't.) "come on, you can't force it, geum," she says, "they're clearly still getting to know each other."

"so it'll be official in say, a week from now?" minjeong teases, earning herself a blush from taeyong. karina is unruffled but she does smile a little at the teasing comments, side-eyeing the boy next to her.

right. they did look good together. 

much to your discomfort, karina and taeyong only seem to become closer, with the latter frequenting your table at every meal. he assimilated easily with the group, already circulating inside jokes that you were conveniently not a part of.

speaking of which you were circulating a word tornado yourself: casual, no attachement, chill, convenient, easy… not a big deal. as taeyong became a regular with your friends, you became increasingly absent, coming up with excuses to take your meals at much earlier or later hours.

you're officially spiraling, doing your best to avoid karina. but avoiding karina meant avoiding your friends. it was a harsh truth but you came to realize you were only friends with them because of her and if you decided to break things off with her, you'd also end up a loner.

it was a cold, miserable place to be in, your mind. you left your room early and came back late to karina asleep. she'd tried to stay up for your sake a few times but you'd made your arrivals later and later, until she gave up and went to sleep. 

you know you can only avoid her for so long before she caught you and grilled you but for now, you just had to come up with a way to keep yourself occupied. that afternoon, you get a text from her, asking to talk to you after dinner. you leave her on read for hours before texting back a quick "sure," afraid to go too far. you may be mad at karina for treating you in ways that left you confused, but you didn't actualy want to hurt her. 

but come the time when finally face her and you realize it may be too late. 

"so… why exactly have you been avoiding me?" more than anything, karina's voice is weary. she appears worried when you first take a seat across from her but when you don't look like you're in actual physical pain, her expression morphs into one of frustration.

"i'm not," you sigh, "i'm just busy."

"busy during every single meal? busy enough to leave before i wake up?"

"i'm taking more classes than usual," you say and though it's the truth, it's far from being the reason why you were acting this way. karina seems to know this. 

"i'm taking an art class that has me staying back in the studio till 11," she tells you. only then, you notice the black charcoal marking her cheek. "but i still come home."

"sorry," you mumble, averting your gaze. "i'm not– you didn't do anything. i'm just… thinking through some things. i'll come back to the room earlier today."

"great, so now we're not close enough for you to share your thoughts with me?" this time karina actually sounds hurt. it was the indication of your friendship finally falling apart that has her sitting forward, eyes blinking in panic. "y/n, what the fuck?"

what the fuck, indeed. you try your best to reassure karina but it seems like she's done talking to you after that point so you see yourself out. a small part of you manages to wonder whose jacket was laid across the chair next to her. taeyong?

you find the answer the hard way when you come back to your room at a reasonable hour for the first time in a week. only to run into taeyong himself.

he seems like he's in a hurry when you step in, rushing to put his jacket on (yes, the jacket that you saw next to karina earlier today) and avoiding your gaze. you don't even pretend to seem pleased encounter him there.

you fix your glare on karina, kneeling on her bed. she lets out a sigh when she sees you. "you're finally back."

you watch as taeyong leaves without a goodbye and you scoff, "i feel like i interrupted something. maybe i shouldn't have come back." you feel the blood rush to your head, all your convictions to lay out your unreciprocated feelings out to karina because she deserved an explanation.

right now, you just feel empty. and mad. so as soon as you rest your bag, you get to changing. but not into your night clothes.

"are you going somewhere?"

"...maybe."

"and what happened to our talk earlier?"

with a huff of disbelief, you throw your sweaty shirt on your bedroom floor. "well, i decided it meant nothing when i saw that guy leaving our room."

"taeyong?" karina looks baffled and you want to shake some sense into her so bad.

"yeah, i don't know, karina, the thought of you already replacing me with some dude–" you cut yourself off when your voice breaks. "it's not a great feeling. so i'm just gonna leave."

"wait, what?" karina jumps out of her bed. "is this what you've been mad about all week?"

you pause your angry movements about your space when she comes close to you, touching your arm, first contact in days. you breathe unevenly, "karina, i just need some time–"

"are you crying, jagiya?"

you want to say it's stupid nickname that gets to your nerves finally breaking your walls down. but really, it's the warmth in her tone, the sound of her breath hitting your ear so close. you'd missed karina. that's why you end up sobbing, arms finding her neck to support you. 

"karina, i'm–" she rubs your back calmly through your sobs. "i'm sorry."

"what's wrong, baby? why are you crying? please, talk to me."

"i think… i'm in love with you."

your confession is quiet, just like your love for karina has always been. actually no, that's what you want to think but no, your love is loud: you look for her in every room you enter, hands already welcoming hers when she runs over to you. you're the first to laugh at her jokes, no matter how nonsensical or how many times she's told them to you. you may be a flustered mess when things got intimate, but you always made sure karina felt good, too – going far beyond your comfort zone to please her.

karina pulls away with a soft gasp. "that's not what i expected you to say."

"i know," you sniffle. "but it's been killing me. i know you wanted to keep things casual. and i know you and taeyong are–"

"okay, just so we're clear for once and for all– there is nothing between me and taeyong."

you freeze in shock, having been rock-solid in your assumption of their relationship. "what?"

"come on, i barely know the guy. but apparently, everyone's teasing got to his head," karina sighs, "he came here to confess to me earlier today. and i rejected him."

now his urgency to leave the room makes even more sense, you realize slowly. but you realize another thing: karina had looked cold when you'd entered, ending things with him clearly. yet, here you were, standing with her arms around your waist as if you hadn't declared your love for her.

"...and?" you prod her, biting your lip hopefully.

"and?" karina echoes you, eyes locking in yours to understand your hint. "oh, you wanna know how i feel?"

you nod coyly, a stray tear falling down your cheek as if on cue. 

"well, let's start with a recap of this week. you ignored me so i felt like shit for most of it. and then you ignored me some more and i had to go to sleep lonely and sad. then, you stopped showing for meals so i didn't even want to eat anymore. what happened next? oh right, this evening. i had to practically beg you to talk to me–"

"okay, i get the idea!" you stop her with a groan, "i'm sorry, but i clearly had good reason to act the way i did."

"did you?" karina is suddenly holding your face, smiling turning bittersweet. "you idiot."

"huh?"

"i wanted to keep things casual because i wasn't sure how you felt about me. i wanted you to keep your options open till someone who you actually liked came along–"

"but–"

"this was long before i knew you were into me like that. you're really hard to read, you know? but yeah, i kept things casual because i'm selfish. i wanted to sleep with the girl i love without losing her friendship. i was obviously an–"

"idiot!" you hit karina's arm repeatedly at her revelation, tears filling up your vision yet again. "you love me?! why would you do that to me, then? are you–"

karina catches your fists in her with a heave, "i know, i know. i'm sorry, jagiya. but–" she brings your first to her chest, exposed by the deep neck of the tank she wore to sleep. "i'm serious about you, okay? i didn't want to gamble someone i cherished over some fucking around."

your body feels weak now that the truth is out in the open. you lean into karina. "you're so mean," you say into her neck, "i thought… you were chill."

she laughs at your complaint, "sorry. i'm dumb. dumb in love?"

you let karina coax you into her bed that night, kissing your body free of the tension you'd carried all that week like she was nursing you back to health. you can't help the tears that escape at her sweet touch, not new for her by any means – but different for you nevertheless, now that you knew how she felt. later that night, when you're falling asleep in her arms, in her twin bed this time, you feel her snuggle closer. warm nose against your cold cheek, she kisses you goodnight. (and a soft love you that you can barely distinguish from a dream.)

[cretenu]

⋆.˚ PICKUP LINES ˚.⋆

content: kuroo tries to rizz you up with awful pickup lines. kuroo x fem reader

warnings: none

notes: it seems like we r all on board with the loser kuroo agenda based on that one post i made LMAO so here u go <3

soundtrack: from the start - laufey

tetsuro kuroo is a loser. yet, you couldn't help but fall for him.

his tall build, charismatic personality, even the pickup lines. oh, the pickup lines. they're horrible, and they're the only way kuroo knows how to flirt. you were sitting on the sidelines of a practice match between karasuno and nekoma during the summer training camp. as a manager, being sent hot glances and heart eyes by the players was not foreign to you. however, you would have to be blind not to noice how this bed-headed try hard had been glancing at you throughout the week. everyone noticed, especially his teammates.

"kuroo, what is up with you?" kenma asked. he was the first one to see that kuroo looked like a deer in the headlights. "hm? nothing, why?" he answered. kenma sighed. "really? you keep looking at karasuno's manager over there" he said rather loudly. kuroo ignored him as he got into position for the next play. "serve it up, fukunaga!" kuroo said loudly, giving kenma a hard stare.

nekoma ended up winning the practice match. as karasuno headed for their penalty lap, you sat by yourself briefly before noticing how kuroo was now talking to his equally spiky-haired friend-- and they were looking at you.

"just do it bro!" bokuto said. "she'll fall for you, trust me!" bokuto couldnt be casual if he tried. he talked with his whole body as his voice echoed throughout the gym. "keep it down!" kuroo said, giving his friend a firm nudge. "you really think so?" he whispered, glancing at you. "absolutely my dude." bokuto said confidently. "if not, i'll uh.." he looked around the gym, considering his options. "oh! ill run a lap around the gym in my underwear!" he exclaimed. "and i don't wanna do that, so go get yourself a lady, kuroo!" he patted (slapped) kuroo's back twice.

as you watched the interaction play out, there was no doubt that they were talking about you. and now, kuroo was striding in your direction.

you panicked. hard. it was something about his lanky build, his confident demeanor. he looked so incredibly awkward, too. as he approached you, you tried to defer your eyes to the match happening on the court over. he cleared his throat, making you jump. kuroo was now towering over you. "hey." he swallowed before taking a deep breath.

"are you made of uranium and iodine? because all i can see is you and i together."

you stared up and him and blinked in disbelief. no way that of all things came out of someone who carried himself with such confidence. before you could laugh at his awful pickup line, he offered you his hand to shake it. "tetsuro kuroo" he said. "i uhm. couldnt help but notice you throughout the week. what's someone like you doing as a manager, huh?" you couldn't help but laugh. he was a nervous wreck. he held his composure pretty well, but you saw right through him.

you shook his hand. "nice to meet you, im y/n. and yes, ive seen you staring at me this whole week, tetsuro kuroo." you teased. kuroo sighed and looked back at bokuto, who was, of course, looking in his direction. "listen. my friend over there told me that if i made a fool of myself, he would run around the gym naked." your eyes widened at his remark. "so, for the sake of everyones eyes, will you go out with me?"

you finally looked into his eyes and smiled before remarking, "of course. for the sake of everyone's eyes." he smiled, feeling affection for your sly remarks. as karasuno came inside from their penalty lap, kuroo departed from you, sending you a wink before joining the rest of his team.

kuroo is a loser, but god its so perfect. he swoons about you to his friends, just loud enough so you can hear without him knowing. he acts suave around you, even when he's melting inside. and no matter how long you've been dating, he will always use those awful pickup lines. and every time he does, you fall for him a little more.

REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED!

[lenacosse]

False god

pairing; jake peralta x reader

word count; 2,500

cw; smut, arguing

summary; reader gets extremely insecure and jealous, instead of talking it through her and jake argue which leads to fucking.



a/n: im backkkk. so sorry for the lack of posting for the last two months, ive been so preoccupied but i hope to get properly back now. also omg try not to make a post about a ts song mission= failed. can’t resist.

‘and you can’t talk to me when i’m like this

daring you to leave me just so i can try and scare you

you’re the west village

you still do it for me, babe.’

════════════════

Your relationship with Jake wasn’t perfect, although to the eye of many that wasn’t obvious. You seemed utterly head over heels, and whilst that was the truth you, like any other couple had problems. But to the extent was not normal, most couples talk it out, that’s never been your method. The problem was Jake’s friendliness, before you got together you loved that about him, it was after all how you got together. You loved how he would talk to everyone, you loved how he made people laugh, but now that you sit in a crowded restaurant gritting your teeth watching your boyfriend make the waitress laugh, he told a joke, a joke first told to you, your gaze was fixated on him, the crease by his eyes as he laughed, the nod of his head as she spoke, but worst of all the prolonged eye contact they held and how her eyes glistened as they done so.

Swiftly you finished your wine, you cleared your throat and the waitress turned to you. You nodded your head to the empty glass, right away she excused herself with the glass to get you another.

“She’s lovely,” you grinned, the sarcasm seeping through your words.

“It’s the Peralta charm, she couldn’t help laugh at my joke,” Jake teased, resuming his meal. You near scoffed at the audacity of him, deep down you knew he was being harmless- a mere joke, but you couldn’t help the insecurity inside of you get the better of your mind. You and Jake have been together for two years, the longest you’ve both been with someone, your biggest fear is that Jake will get bored of you, so interactions like this had your mind running wild- reaching to the worst possible scenarios.

For the rest of your meal you were barely listening to Jake enthuse about his week at work, he talked about his perps, his drug busts and the banter within the precinct. Instead you were in your head, imagining the end of your relationship, more specifically Jake leaving you for someone much prettier and funnier. He’s never not been loyal, he’s never given you an reason to feel this way, yet you couldn’t help it. You couldn’t turn off your self sabotaging mind and that was a slow undeniable killer.

“Are you okay?” Jake said, snapping you back to reality, concern written over his face, his eyes gentle and comforting.

“I’m fine.” You replied. “Just tired.” You couldn’t shake the coldness of your words. Jake reached over the table to grab your hand, you sighed and moved your hand away, feeling too indifferent to talk about it. You could see the disappointment building in his eyes.

“Let’s go then.” Jake said as he stood up grabbing his jacket and pushing his chair in, you paid the bill and got into his car.

A deafening silence fell over you both for the first few minutes of the car ride, you didn’t know what to say, you were worried that if you started to talk you would end up fighting. The car stopped at the red light, you found your eyes wondering over to Jake, one hand on the wheel the other tapping on the dashboard as he starred out the window, his eyebrows were knitted together in a frustrated manner and his body was tense. He glanced at you and instantly your eyes hardened.

“What did I do to upset you this much?” Jake asked, his voice firm.

“Nothing.” You mumbled looking down at your lap.

“Then why are you acting like this? I don’t understand the night started great now you’re distant. Do you not like me anymore or something?”

The emotion in his voice had you heart aching, you couldn’t understand why your mind done this to you, from a rational perspective the interaction was harmless- maybe enough for you to sulk over, but not to this extent and you knew that. You nervously picked at you nails as you replied.

“Of course I do Jake- you know I love you. But it’s just..” you sighed, “I don’t know.”

He turned to look at you now, “just what?”

“You’re too friendly! That’s the problem.”

“Too friendly? What does that even mean?!” He laughed, you looked at him and instantly filled with rage.

“Don’t be stupid Jake. Don’t do that, you were flirting with that fucking waitress.”

The light went green and Jake drove again, his eyes were focused on the road as he spoke. “Flirting? Seriously. This again.” He sighed, “I’m not flirting with anyone.”

“Oh,” you scoffed, “it’s so fucking obvious! The fuck me eyes she was sending you, you’re not blind Jake anyone could have sensed it.”

“You’re seeing things. Seriously, tell me why would I do that?”

“That’s what I’m asking you!!”

“Maybe for once it’s not me, it’s you. You are the one causing the problem here not me.”

“As I recall you were the one flirting!” You fumed.

“Flirting or simply talking? Should I just stay away from all woman from now on?”

“You’re infuriating right now. Just fucking apologise.”

“For what?!” Jake raised his voice, “I didn’t do anything. I made me waitress laugh, you’re acting as if I asked for her number.”

“Wouldn’t be surprised if you did.” You muttered.

“Really? You think I’d cheat on you.” Jake said as he parked the car outside his apartment complex.

You got out of the car slamming the door after you and Jake followed behind you. “Well would you?”

He punched in the code to open the complex door, you stood with your arms crossed walking with him. “What kind of question is that? Obviously not.”

You pressed the elevator button and stood beside him, arms crossed again and your body stiff with anger. “That’s not what I picked up on looking at you and that woman.”

“Y/N. I did not flirt with her. Get that idea out of your head.” Jake groaned, clearly becoming increasingly frustrated with you.

“Well maybe I wouldn’t have that idea if you weren’t so fucking friendly!” You practically shouted. Your face flushed red with embarrassment as a couple walked out of the elevator, by the looks of your face you could tell they heard everything. The man gave Jake a sympathetic look which made you roll your eyes, his girlfriend elbowed him in response to that.

Jake walked into the elevator, you followed and pressed the floor number. “I don’t want to have this stupid conversation anymore. I didn’t flirt with her! And I’m not too friendly, there’s no such thing.”

“Oh yes there is. You are a prime example,” you scoffed as the elevator doors closed.

“You want to know what’s exhausting? This. I’m sick of you being so insecure.”

“Then break up with me.”

“What? No. Are you insane?”

“Go on. Do it. I know you want to, do it Jake break up with me.”

“I’d be crazy to break up with you.” Jake moved closer to you.

“I think you want to.” You starred into his eyes, deep down you’d be distraught if he broke up with you. But the thrill of keeping him on his toes outweighed that.

He grabbed your arm pull you closer to him. “Don’t say anything like that again. Ever.”

Your face flushed hearing him being so assertive, when Jake got this way you could swoon. You smirked and looked up at him. “Why? Does it bother you?”

“Everything you’re doing right now is bothering me,” he got even closer to you, your chest was pushed up against his front. “Trying to scare me off?”

“Is it working?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, you could feel Jake’s breath on your face, furthering the heat rising to your face.

“No.” Jake responded. He pushed you against the elevator mirror, your back hitting the rail. His hands firmly gripped your hips, sure enough to leave a bruise, your breath quickened as he lowered his head and smashed his lips to yours.

You got caught up in an intense moment, your hands went to his hair, pulling him closer as your leg rose to wrap around his waist. You were pushed right up against the mirror as you shared a hungry make out, his tongue fought and won dominance as it explored your mouth. One of his hands moved from your waist and hiked up your thigh and skirt. His finger edged to your panties, and started to slowly circle your clit. You gasped at the sudden pleasure, breaking the kiss. Jake kissed your neck however quickly stopped and moved away once the elevator door opened. You tried to fix yourself up and walk normally to his door, you impatiently waited as Jake opened the door, you could’ve swore he was being slow to tempt you. You walked in first, wasting no time you grabbed his tie, a rare thing to see Jake in and pulled him to you.

His hands met your waist, he smirked. “Eager?”

“Shut up.” You replied.

As you kiss Jake backs you into his room, pulling down your top to reveal your bra and down onto his bed. Using his tie again you pull him on top of you, you remove his tie and make a start at unbuttoning his shirt. His lips meet your neck as he marks you, his hand travels down your body resting in between your legs, he moved your underwear aside and shoves two fingers inside of you. You cry out at the abrupt movement but quickly it turns to an override of pleasure, Jake moves from your neck and watches your face as he roughly fucks you with his fingers, curling them to hit that perfect spot, as if that wasn’t enough he circles his thumb on your clit. The pleasure making your legs shake and vision blur, the sounds coming from your mouth were incoherent, your whole body was trembling in pleasure. The pleasure continuing to build you knew you were close, you felt yourself ignite and be overcome with pleasure but just as you were about to finish he pulled his fingers out.

“Jake-” you whined but was quickly stopped by his fingers going into your mouth. You sucked his fingers, you couldn’t help but heat up at the taste of yourself on his finger. Jake removed his fingers and kissed you hungrily, his hand moving to your breast and rolling your nipple in between his finger over your lacy bra. You pull his shirt off and break the kiss, to mark his collarbone.

“Marking territory?” Jake teased as his hand slipped under your and effortlessly undone your bra. As you pulled your head back he removed your top and bra.

“Seems as if I have to.” You scoffed, Jake grabbed your jaw.

“As I’ve said before I’d never cheat on you.”

You rolled your eyes in response, he let go of your jaw and moved to your ear. “We’re not leaving this bed until you realise it.”

His voice was enough to make you squeeze your thighs together but the words spoken had you stifling a moan. Jake kissed down your neck, you arched your back pushing your body up onto him, desperate for pleasure. You grab his hand and bring it in between your thighs, hoping for pleasure from him.

“What do you want?” Jake asks, his eyes bearing into yours.

“You.” You responded, biting your lip. You could see it in his eyes, he was tempted to take you right there but resisted, much to your dismay.

“Be more specific,” he slowly moved his finger to brush against your clit, you hissed at the sensation.

“I want you to make me cum with your fingers. Then,” you moved your hand into his hair, tugging. “I want you to fuck me.”

“So demanding. Not even a please?”

“Are you going to or not?” You raised an eyebrow, Jake smirked and inserted two fingers into you.

You senses once again filled with pleasure from Jake roughly moving his fingers, you moaned his name feeling the pleasure override you. Your legs trembled as using his thumb he rubbed your clit. A continuous thread of moans left your mouth as you came undone, you vision whitened as you released, your body going into a state of utter bliss. Jake removed his fingers and took your skirt off, your hands made quick work of removing his belt and trousers. You watched eagerly as his cock sprung out with the removal of his boxers.

You moved your hand down to slowly stroke him, he softly groaned in response. You then wrapped your legs around his waist and gripped his shoulders as he slid into you, your eyes rolled back in pleasure as you adjusted to him. Right away Jake began to pound into you, one of his hands held your thigh as the other gripped the headboard making him completely tower over you, you watched his face contorted in pleasure. The room filled with the sound of your bodies joining together and your lustful moans, you knew trying to conceal them wouldn’t work, so you let it happen, not that anyone would complain Jake loved the sound of your moans. Jake fucked you like he’s never done before you wouldnt’ve been surprised if your bodies left a permanent dent into the mattress, that was only furthered when he moved your legs to rest over his shoulders allowing him to go deeper. Your mind became numb with pleasure, the only thing you could focus on was the immense pressure between your thighs.

Jake pushed your chin up to look at him, your eyes were pricking with tears as you got closure to release. “Believe me now?”

“Not quite.” You moaned.

This only fuelled Jake more to the point where the bed was slamming against the wall and tears of pleasure were streaming down your face, you felt the pleasure override you.

“So close.” You moaned.

“Cum for me,” Jake said, his voice dripping with pleasure, that itself sent you over edge.

The euphoric sensation washed over you yet again, your vision blurred as your entire body shook, never had you felt this way before. Jake continued, cashing his own release as you slowly came down from that high, however it wasn’t long until you felt it building up again. Jakes movements got strained as he got closer, again you came and white hot pleasure overcame you. Jake came inside you, moaning into your ear. Slowly he pulled out and lay beside you. You both starred at the ceiling, catching your breath. He turned to you and tucked your hair behind your ear, you couldn’t help the smile that creeped onto your face as you turned to face him too.

“Believe me now?” Jake teased, stroking your cheek.

“I always did I was just in my head, totally worth it though,”

“Totally worth it though; title of your sex tape.”

“Jake.” You rolled your eyes, playfully shoving him.

[konigenblobbity]

You think I wouldn’t know?

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x F!Reader

18+ MINORS DNI

Warnings: Smutty, Dom!Ghost, fake orgasm, p in v, cunnilingus, established relationship, aftercare

Summary: You didn’t know why tonight your climax seemed constantly out of reach. The climax that your boyfriend was working so hard to reach. Both yours and his. Last thing you want is to watch him tire himself out, trying to grasp something that wasn’t there. He wouldn’t know if you just faked it… right?

“Oh god, you feel so good love~”. Ghost spoke with ragged breaths. Your head was thrown back against your pillow, unable to look at him. Too busy in your own head questioning why you didn’t feel your pleasure building like it usually did when he was balls deep in you like this.

The way your boyfriend was railing into you with such a ferocious pace…. It should have your legs shaking by now. Your body pressed against the bed by his, missionary position. Both his hands gripping your hips tightly, his own spreading your legs wide open for him. As his dick split you open over and over. And yet you felt… nothing.

His head leans down into the crook of your neck, a telltale sign that he was close. That and how his breaths were more labored as they hit your neck. You began to grind your hips against him, meeting his thrusts, hoping to find some pleasure. But it only had him weaker for you, doing nothing to diminish your frustrations.

“S-so close… fuck” he says before softly biting into the skin in your neck. You decide to give in, forget about your high and just help your boyfriend find his. You throw your head back, letting out soft moans before saying “m-me too Si~” in the most cock-drunk voice you could manage.

“Mmmm… cum with me lovie…” His voice was raspy and that plea made you feel somewhat guilty and ashamed. He continued to thrust into you with abandon. You felt his pace falter, you begin to voluntarily twitch your legs. Letting out more fake moans, let them fall from your lips, raising in volume and pitch slowly.

“G-gonna cum so deep inside you lovie~” Moments later his hips press against yours harshly, stopping their rapid movements from earlier. Keeping himself pressed deep inside you as he let out a shaky groan right into the neck of your skin. “F-fuck! that’s it… take it” he says through ragged breathes as he grips at the bedsheets next to your head.

“I-I’m cumming! God Ghost… feels so good!” You close your eyes and grind your hips up one last time, still putting on a show. You let out a final soft moan and then pant out softly, shivering at the feeling of his warm cum painting your walls. His hips tremble against yours, working through his release, groaning against the skin of your neck.

He pulls away from your neck, regaining his steady breathing. He hovers above you, looking down at you, his half-lidded eyes visible through his mask. His eyes wander up and down. Undressing you with his eyes, even though you were already stark naked below him. He sits up between your thighs, back straighten.

“Tsk tsk tsk… my sweet girl~” he spoke softly, a hand moves from your hip to caress your cheek gently. His tone is laced with… disappointment, almost guilt. You furrow your brows. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Your face was flush, from the way his gaze devoured your figure.

“I know you didn’t cum darling…”. It was spoken like a statement. No judgement, or anger. The tone was just indifferent. But at his confession you can’t help but blush and look away.

“N-no I-I came… it felt good. Wh-why wouldn’t I-“ you cut yourself off as he turns your head to face him again. His eyes soft, gazing down at yours through his mask. You gulp and then blush more. Before confessing. “H-how did you know?”

Moving his hand back down, he begins to caress your hips softly before leaning down and lifting his mask slightly to place kisses on your shoulders and collar. “Ive seen you cum dozens of times~ I’ve heard you cum dozens of times. I can’t help but watch that gorgeous expression of yours when you do” he continues to softly kiss you, easing away the tension from your earlier nervousness. It now evident to you that he wasn’t mad.

“S-so?” You ask softly and he just chuckles before sitting back up again. He brings a hand back up and traces your bottom lip with his thumb, softly pulling it down. “So. I know that when you cum, you don’t even have the energy to moan out… your mouth just falls agape as you try to mumble out any coherent words you can. Trying your best to moan my name”

Your eyes widen and, due to his mask still being raised above his mouth, you can see the smirk that paints his face. “And yet… tonight you managed to moan so loudly, the others might have heard your little ‘show’” he says with another soft chuckle as he watches you blush more.

“But...” He says as he begins to move back, away from between your legs and instead to the edge of the bed before stepping off. “let’s not waste any more time with explaining” he says before reaching forward and grabbing your ankles, pulling you down the bed quickly.

“H-hey!” You yelp out as he pulls you down the bed enough that your hips sit on the edge. “Shh… let me take care of you lovie” he says as he kneels down at the end of the bed, placing your legs over his shoulders. Now face to face with your still weeping pussy.

You notice him look down, his eyes glued to how you were dripping onto the sheets, and watched as he licked his lips. He slides his hands up your ankles slowly until they rest on your inner thighs. The motion set your body alight.

“Look at it… practically begging for my attention” He says teasingly and before you can retort back he leans forward, his searing hot tongue licking one long stripe against your folds. The gasp that leaves you, and the way you grip the sheets, has him humming softly in content.

You weren’t allowed to sleep until you came on his tongue over and over… only stopping once he was satisfied. His eyes watching your face each time, waiting for “that gorgeous little mouth” to fall open just for absolutely nothing to come out. Nothing except broken whimpers and whines.

Of course afterwards he praised you endlessly, kissing and caressing your still twitching legs. His mouth glistening with your slick, muttering countless praises. Calling you “Such a good girl…”, telling you how “You looked so beautiful for me”, and adding “You taste so goddamn amazing love. Like fucking ambrosia”.

He then curled up next to you under the cover, holding you in his arms, letting his fingers softly graze up and down your back. You were completely exhausted, lying in his arms, he couldn’t hide his prideful smirk, looking down at you and watching you drift off. Moments before you fell asleep he spoke. “Oh… and love?” You hummed to let him know to continue.

Reminding you; “You should never feel like you need to fake your orgasms with me… you can always tell me if you want to stop. Or if something isn’t making you feel good”. He kisses your head, holding your weak body against his.

“Your pleasure is a priority of mine love, I’m more than happy to spend hours between your legs just to make sure you receive it”

[aethelwyneleigh27]

Ex-husband!Simon "Ghost" Riley Part 2

Part 1, Part 2, (Part 3??)

Part 1 was many months ago.. oopsie! Been doing a lot of reading recently and HOLY FUCK I LOVE THE TWISTED SERIES BY ANA HUANG. I JUST FINISHED IT, CAN'T WAIT TO READ THE KING OF SINS SERIES (btw I finished it a long time ago, this draft just never made it out). Do y'all like want some stuff implemented from there, here? I'M THINKING KING OF GREED? 👀

Also.. This was supposed to be my birthday special, but what happened was I became busy and never got around to making a definitive ending.. but don't worry, this isn't where the series ends.

My goodness the taglist on this one almost doubled, to anyone who doesn't want to be part of the tags, please tell me so that I can remove you because this will be the official list and it's still open for more people who wanna see this series.

Warning: Too lazy to proof read since I have so much to do, please tell me any autocorrected, misspelled words in the replies so I can change it.. 😭

My CoD Masterlist

My Simon Riley x You Playlist

Simon sulked, his forehead resting on the soft mattress. His back and neck were aching yet he couldn't get the fear and worry out his head. You clear the fog in your head, your body felt sore despite the semi-comfortable bed you were laying on.

You groan softly, forcing yourself to sit-up, where the fuck was your daughter? Was she safe? In a panic you looked around the room, you let out a long, deep sigh as you saw her laying on the couch. Long blond hair splayed around messily on the pillow with a blanket that was barely hanging onto her body, she looked so peaceful.

You felt movement next to you, Simon woke up. He looks up to you, in a bit of a shock. He didn't say a word before holding you and guiding you back down to lay on the slightly adjusted bed, back against the pillow he fixed behind you, you wanted to fight it and protest but his strength was god-like on your still weak and not well rested body, your throat was dry to the point of pain and obvious discomfort.

Simon knows you better than you know yourself, resentment settled in your blood, felt more than the amount than when you missed him. He took the tightly sealed water bottle on the table next to your bed and pries it open, holding the bottle's opening to your lips.

You took a big gulp with his guide but you gently took the bottle off his hand into your own, your fingers brushing his a bit in the process, basically telling him you could do it yourself. A few more gulps down and your throat was eased, you handed back the water bottle to Simon.

He was fidgeting with his hands, his fingers rubbing and grazing the spot your fingers accidentally touched. You looked down with dismay as he takes the bottle from you and closes it.

Was he so disgusted and revolted by your touch that he's brushing off his fingers from it? You knew you didn't end it good terms but you had no idea he hated you that much. Maybe not.. are you overthinking? Probably.

It was silent, awkward, just hearing the IV drip and the beeps of the heart monitor. Simon wanted to say something so bad but what do you say to the love of your life who you've hurt severely and regret it because you still love her and want to be in her life again? Mouthful, he knows.

Simon had no right to you anymore, he couldn't even scold you and tell you to take better care of yourself anymore because that's what he used to do, it's way too familiar. He couldn't even touch you without him thinking it would make you uncomfortable.

You feel it, rather see it more but Simon wanted to die in the moment. Heavy breaths and clearly restless eyes, disheveled hair..

"How do you feel..?" He said, he looks elsewhere as he wanted to avoid the way your eyes chose to settle on him..

"I don't know..? I don't know how to process all this but there's no physical pain, just nausea.." you said, he got up to call a nurse and alert them that you're awake. He chose to step out while the doctor did the regular routine of checking everything.

"Momma?" You turn to your left at the couch where your daughter was sat up, rubbing her eyes.. she got off it and immediately ran to you, "I'm glad you're okay now.." she said which never failed to make you smile with how caring she tended to be..

"What happened bubs? Momma doesn't remember much except for fainting.." you asked the bundle of joy as you tried to piece back what had happened beforehand..

"I called dada when you fell, momma. I was so scared, I was shouting but you won't wake up.. dada took so long to get there but when he did, he asked me to go in the car while carried you inside to take you here.." she said, you took her off the ground and placed her at your side, embracing her little body.

"I'm sorry bubs, momma should've taken better care of herself.. if I had, I wouldn't have been so sick to the point of unconsciousness.." you felt so guilty, if only it had been under better circumstance then you would've been able to take care of yourself better and not put your child through what must've been a moment that should've set her in a panic.

"It's okay, momma. I'm a big girl now, I can take care of you like you take care of me.." her sweet little voice paused for a moment.

"Momma, what does unconscious mean?" She asked, you laughed, forgetting that she doesn't know the meaning of certain words yet..

Taglist: @wishesforyou @puff0o0 @simping4konig @simp4konig @blingblong55 @azereus @rustic-guitar-notes @callsignsnowpunisher @09maruchan @anonymuslydumb @skeletalgoats @icarustypicalfall @connorsui @capuccino192 @miss-gms-and-the-rotten-womb @celestialhole @the-second-sage @starryylies @everlastingmoonlightsworld @keiva1000 @iexiam @drewsmusee @konigceo @duck-a-doodle @darkhorrorwhispers @cyphah @ash-tarte @linaangel @waves-against-a-cliff @fruitymoonbeams-blog @venussdovess @mactavishsgfandwife @thisisaphrodite @holyfeck @avalkyrieofparis @mymelx @ssc7514 @lilaclazer @fandomwarrior98 @spontaneousleo

[dunmeshi-darlings]

Can we get the reader being flirted with/ seduced by Laios possessed by the winged lion? Maybe he knows y/n has a crush on Laios, or has some other motive?

"there you are..my darling Y/N" It spoke in his voice...but it was not him. It Had his body...but it was not him. it smiled at you with his face...but it was not him. Laios touden stared at you, his eyes transfixed on you, But what you stared at was not laios touden...It was that thing

You tell the being that you wont fall for its lies, that you KNOW it isnt laios. It chuckles, Its the same chuckle you had heard time and time before..a chuckle that had made you smile and chuckle in return, a sound that usually fills you with a warmth in your chest...but not now, now it filled you with an ice cold dread. "ah but is that not what you most desire? To have him call you his darling? ah, love and hunger...the two oldest of humanities desires."

The way it accentuates the word "Desire" made your skin crawl, its words felt so wrong and the fact it was in HIS voice made you all the more sicker....but something in you squirmed because it wasnt lying..it spoke the truth.

"I see your doubts, i speak the truth. i know of you and your kind and of your desires, is it so wrong to wish to be loved? love can start wars, it can end wars...love can topple kingdoms. Out of all the desires i have tasted in my time...love is perhaps the most delicious of them all, such a sweet intoxicating flavor...and i feel like yours would be the most delicious of meals ive had in centuries." The being spoke, slowly making its way towards you and taking one of your hands in his. You had longed to hold his hands like this, to hold it like a lovers. But this was not what you wanted, it felt wrong and yet it felt so right, it felt liberating and freeing. It felt intoxicating, like a deep wine you know you arnt allowed to have. You can only stare at him...it...whatever stood before you.

"In all my years ive experienced your world, i will admit you are a dazzling creation, Perhaps even more delicious than desire itself. I can see what laios sees in you, oh yes indeed...he has desires for you as well. I can feel them now, as i look at you i can feel the desires stirring within this form. And your desires are even stronger than his...come now dear, join me, join him. Be one together and indulge your desires, the three of us can make SUCH beautiful desires. I know just how much you wish for it, hoping for it every day, dreaming of being together...embrace your dreams my darling, embrace your desires. Do you not wish to follow your dreams? would you turn down that which you have always wanted?" the demon says, slowly pulling you into a soft hug. Your body freezes up, your mind reeling and fighting itself. You know this isnt laios, you know this is that thing...but would it be so wrong to welcome this? After all it may be a delusion, but if a delusion is inseparable from the real then does it truly matter? Would you truly turn away that which you have wanted for so...so..so long...what would should you do?

[tinyidle]

his arms- nsfw, body appreciation, groping, heavy heavy teasing

bare with me as i share a mini fic on this big baby full of muscles

"see?" mingi asserted, showing the flex of his bicep and tricep, casually running his hand over it before pulling his arm sleeve back down, effectively hiding what he was packing. "i told you ive got a sleeper build."

as much as you wanted to make a snarky remark or roll your eyes or even start up a different conversation altogether, you couldn't shake the fact that you wanted to feel his arms near you. or on you, whichever was more convenient.

biting your lip and swallowing the last bit of pride and shame you had in your throat, you carefully asked your boyfriend, "can i feel them, ming?"

the tall man made a noise of confusion before what you asked finally resonated in his brain. "ohh, so you admit i have a sleeper build?"

your hand collided with your forehead in frustration-- both mental and sexual. "yes, mingi," you gave up, "your body is very unpredictable. now put that same body to use on me before i grab my hitachi."

mingi's pearly eyes widened in slight fear from your threat. you know how much he hates when you decide to use your toys when he's right there, especially when he's free to help you out. "no no!" he frantically chanted, grasping onto your waist as you turned to search through your drawers. "ill help you out. just please don't use the wand."

sighing in content, you nodded. "deal," you smiled, almost immediately lifting your boyfriend's sleeve. you felt every hard muscle and hidden vein slightly protruding from the inside of his arms, leaning in to kiss the tall man by the jaw.

mingi lowly groaned as all your attention was garnered towards his arms, with his jaw and neck being occasionally peppered with your sweet kisses.

"you always look so good, ming," you praised him, your hands now traveling across his chest before trailing down to the waistband.

your finger trailed across the thick ribbed material adorning your boyfriend's slim waist before deciding to pull off his tshirt. you tugged on the hem, giving him a signal to help you out his top garment before deciding to do the same with your own bottoms-- which were simply panties. it was night, so you didn't feel the need to put much on more than your boyfriend's tee and your undies.

giving your attention back to the band, your fingers tugged before looking up at mingi in expectation. with a simple nod of his head, you pulled down his bottoms off, leaving him bare while you were half-exposed. mingi wouldn't have it any other way, however.

biting his lip, the tall man pulled his tee you were wearing up to your breasts, sighing as his huge hands gently squeezed at them while you lightly whined at the action. "please," you slightly begged. you needed his arms to do more than simply aid to being connected to his hands.

"of course," he murmured, leaning up to give you a loving kiss before putting his heavy cock on top of your clit; right on top of your aching cunt.

something you and mingi love to do at night is tease each other like this: act like you're fucking when it's simply making almost invisible love. you don't want to actually feel him, as he just want to visualize how deep he goes inside you.

tapping his cock head on your engorged clit, he whispered rather huskily, "ready?"

"yeah," you rhythmically nodded, prepared to have your mind fucked. mingi put his arms next to your head, leaning down to capture your lips in a heated kiss before thrusting his hips to meet yours.

you whined in his mouth as you felt his balls make a lewd smack on your sealed yet moistened cunt. nothing was in you, but from mingi moving as if he was rocking your world out your brain in a frenzy. it didn't help that, when mingi put his hands behind your head and put his strengths to use, you could feel his length reach near the tops of your ribcage.

"fuck, mingi-" you choked out a flustered moan, so amazed by how this man never failed to remind you of how strong and sexy he is. "you're so good to me." your hand clutched to his arms as to get a grip of some reality, although in reality you were on cloud nine.

the man smiled. "yeah?" he responded, his right hand moving from your head to your wet cunt, moving his finger inside until his could simply rub the labia area while ghosting your hole entirely. "you feel so good, baby. so wet and responsive to me. should i always show my arms for you to feel this way?"

you moved your hand to somehow play with the top part of mingi's shaft, making him throw his head forwards in a whiny grunt. "yes, ming. as long as i can give you my appreciation to your physique."

[dragonmonstermilk]

i finally found your blog......... monster fuckers unite

uhhhh is it okay to request crownless (wuwa) x reader smut???? ive been thirsting for the crownless for so long 😫😫😫

Thank you for you ask, honey ! And of course it's absolutely okay ! The crownless? Please, I think it's one of the hottest enemy in the game !

The Crownless found his crown

tw: monsterfucking, breeding, reader getting intoxicated by the air around The Crownless, hair pulling, (kinda) missionary pose, knot, praises here and there

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧*ੈ✩‧₊˚༘⋆࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

It has passed a few days since you arrived in Jinzhou. Everything was still a bit confusing to you. As the sun rises, his rays hitting your face, making you groan in your sleep. It's time to get up, I guess.

After you got up up and had your breakfast, you went outside. The chilly morning fresh air was really nice as you took a stroll in the silent Jinzhou before leaving the city. You knew there were some tacet discord active these days, so you were going to investigate them.

You arrived in the northwest part of Jinzhou, exactly where you fought him for the first time. You took a deep breath, ready to face him multiple times. It did take quite a lot of time to make them go away, even just for a few hours.

As you had your sword in your hand, you got closer to him. This time, though, everything was a bit different. You were on the tacit field, but the crownless seemed do not be there. Now, that's strange. More minutes passed, and you were ready to to away, thinking that maybe the tacet discor disappeared.

As soon as you stepped away, you felt something reaching to your body quickly. You screamed and saw the crownless hands on your waist. Your breath itched. This is the end, right? Little did you know that in a nick of time you find yourself in some sorta of abyss. The crownless let go of you and smirked.

"What do you want from me?!" you took out your sword, ready to fight him in this strange place but, again, he was quick on his feet and took you sword.

"I wonder how you'll fight now" his face was always smiling, that creeped you out but at the same time made you feel something. Your face flushed a bit and you gave yourself a few slaps on the cheeks. This wasn't the time to make strange ideas.

"I still have my hands" you replied to the crownless. He laughed, and again, he was behind you, gripping your ching and making you watch him. You felt your eyes shaking from the fear. Why today was so strange? What did wanted this monster from you? Why it was acting like this?

Thousand of questions popped up in your head, making your head hurt a bit. The crownless breath was on your face, his lips a few inches away. Your body twitched, your eyes feeling heavy as a sense of restless was setting in. The monster laughed, kissing you withouth notice. You gasped, feeling like you were kissing a metallic thing. You didn't resist though, your tongue caressing the monster one. As the two of you kissed, the crownless shreds your clothes. Your body completely exposed to him.

You groan. The strange air making your body shiver as your thighs were touching together, a needy feel making your way through your body. "What's up, dear?" teased the Crownless, pushing you down in your knees and then making you lay there. Around you was nothing, like you were here but at the same time you weren't.

You tried to spoke but the monster touched your hole, making you moan. "N-not there.." you shamelessly said, your body reacting to every touch of him. "Why not? I see you like it" he teased back. You bit your lip, trying to keep quiet but his fingers were so long and pointy that touched perfectly that sweet little spot inside you.

Your head fell back as more gasps and moans left your mouth. The crownless smirked, feeling you ready for him. If only did you know what was in next for you. As you kept struggling on keeping your eyes open, you felt something. Something very big poking at your entrance. You looked down and whined as you saw the big and, already, leaking monster cock. It was metallic grey, just as it was him, but his tip was a shade of blue and purple. Without notice, the monster entered inside you.

You arched your back, moaning louder. The crownless smirked always present on his face. "Look at you, you're dripping" he teased you again, gripping your hips and pushing in and out his hips. It felt so good, his cock so girthy and big, your hole clenching and squeezing around it. More moans from both of you filled the empty space. You felt grateful that it wasn't in public.

"Mhhnggg, y-yes, right there!" your hands were on the ground, keeping yourself steady from the harsh thrusts of the monster. He groaned, feeling you around him, taking his cock so well. This wasn't his first time fucking a human. "What a good little human you are" spoke he, now going deeper inside you. One hand of his went to your face, his thumb circling your lips as you open your mouth to take him.

"You're such a slut" the monster groaned, his cock twitching inside you as you watched him. You were so hot to him. Seeing you taking his cock withouth any struggle while licking and sucking his thumb. It all made him weak. Withouth warning he grasped your hair and with brute force he turned you around, your back facing him.

"That's it, take my cock, let me see what a good human you are for me" he pulled your hair again, his hips going faster and faster, touching your sensitive spot. "I-i'm cumming! Please! Let me cum!" you begged, you eyes teary and your hips moving towards his cock. The monster moaned, giving you a few slaps. You cried and with a few more thrust you came and he did it do. The crownless cum spurted all inside you, painting your walls white as your body shakes, your breath quick as you try to relax.

The crownless hugs you from behind and caresses your hair, but soon, you feeling a knot forming, trying to be inside you. You whined, your hole sensitive but still stretching as the crownless pushed his knot inside you. Keeping on caressing your hair, he leaves a few kisses on your neck and shoulders, your body shivering.

"You are really good" whispered the monster, his knot fully inside you as a few drops of cum leaked out of you, making a small pool under you two. Your breath now was calm and you felt like you could breathe again.

The monster usual smirk was on his face. Little did you know now that you were his and his forever.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧*ੈ✩‧₊˚༘⋆࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

[norrizzandpia]

Hello I hope you’re doing well🥰

I was wondering if you could give us something super fluffy where fem reader is driving lando to the airport and he keeps telling her to focus on the road as he didn’t notice she’s trying to hold her tears bec of how much she’ll miss him. then he comforts her and gives her a big bear hug before he leaves.

Thanks in advance!!!

Plz bc this is so cute omfg

I’m Sorry To Go (LN4)

Summary: She’s not quite ready to have him leave just yet.

Warnings: arguably the cutest thing ive ever written

Y/n took a deep breath in the bathroom as she prepared to drive her boyfriend to the airport. Knowing he would be gone for a month, her emotions ran wild. He had been home for the past few weeks for summer break, time she cherished immensely as they never got truly uninterrupted time together, and, now, he was packing up his bags to leave her once more. It felt as if time had gone faster over their quiet time and she was left to watch it pass by, arriving painfully at the stop where he got off.

Nonetheless, she knew she had to be strong for him, understanding if she broke down he would too and that would be detrimental for the both of them. So, she cleaned her face up, residual tears and slightly smeared makeup being wiped away, and walked out of the small room.

There she found Lando, with his suitcase in hand, waiting by the door. The sight almost had her in a fit of more tears, but she swallowed them begrudgingly.

“Ready to go?” He asked, smiling at her as if this wasn’t heartbreaking.

Her silent nod and quick movement around him to walk through the door had his eyebrows quirk up. She had been quiet all morning, something that was unusual for the girl he loved. He didn’t want to push it, force her over the edge when it was clear something was bothering her, but he didn’t want to leave her like this.

However, he didn’t want to leave her at all.

Though, as sickening as it was, he forced himself to get in the car and pull up directions to the airport he was flying out of. Her knuckles gripped the steering wheel tightly as he started to make light conversation and the GPS spouted off upcoming turns she had to take.

“What do you think you’ll for the rest of the day, baby?” He asked, his hand on her thigh as he looked out the window.

The longest beat of silence filled the air as she tried to rid her throat of all tears or signs of her dismay. Clearing her throat subtly, she quivered, “I don’t know, maybe stay in and order food.”

He chuckled, “My love, we have food at the house. We just went to the store yesterday.”

Another prolonged quiet went by before Y/n’s voice broke as she whispered, “I don’t feel like cooking.”

His head whipped around at the sound of her broken words and the sight of her crying in the driver’s seat made his heart clench. Tears silently streamed down her face as she glanced down at the directions, trying so hard to get him to where he needed to be on time.

“Y/n…” Lando whispered before running his thumb over her thigh and coaxing, “Pull over, baby.”

Her eyes refused to look at him as she put on her blinker and changed lanes as to veer off toward the side of the road. When she reached it and parked, Lando’s hand came up to gently move her arms off the steering wheel. He leaned over the center console and pulled her into him, his arms circling her body in a protective manner.

He kissed the side of her head as she began to cry into his shoulder, his hands rubbing up and down her back as he whispered, “What’s wrong?”

She sniffled before brokenly saying, “I don’t want you to leave.”

His eyes watered at her statement, hands abruptly stopping on her back before resuming once it sunk in.

He squeezed her tightly, kissing her again, “I don’t want to leave either.”

Her response was immediate, “Then don’t.”

He laughed lightly, pulling her head back slightly so he could cradle her face in his hands, “You know I have to, love. Trust me, this hurts as much as it does you, but it will go by fast and then I’ll be right back here with you.”

She shook her head, fresh tears falling down her face, “But, it won’t. It won’t go by fast, Lan. Things don’t go by fast when you’re not there.”

He nodded in understanding, kissing her forehead and nose before responding, “Well, it will end eventually and then I’ll be here with you. Baby, the time will pass and I will come back to you. I always will.”

She nodded gently, looking up at him once his words really hit her, “You’ll always come back to me?”

He smiled and kissed her on the lips with newfound adoration and love, “I promise I always will.”

And as they sat together in the small car on the side of the road, wrapped up in the other as forever promises were made, Y/n knew she would hold onto that promised until he proposed.

Which was two years later.

[fluffylino]

what are your thoughts on primal/chase w Minho? Cause I can't seem to get it to leave my head and you always have such great thoughts so I wanted to share this

Feel free to ignore this tho if if it's not your cup of tea or for any reason rly 💙

hi hi anon

this was really fun to write. honestly ive been wanting to write something like this with minho but never really got any good ideas. hope you like it!

warning- mainly cnc and minho is pretty mean. (but we love it)

-contains mature themes

the hallways seemed like they would never end. would you ever escape him? your legs hurt from how fast you were running.

you could hear him. his footsteps growing louder and louder as he moved in closer.

you looked around. searching for somewhere to hide. anywhere. your eyes scanned the place.

a dressing room. it was far but it was reachable if you ran. so you did it. huffing, your heart racing. you opened the door, it was dark. at any other time you'd be scared of how dark the room was.

but now.

now, you had to hide.

you carefully shut the door. hands moving about to find any switch. a light switched on and you were surprised to see how clean it actually was.

you turned your back to the door. looking down at your feet, only to see a shadow on the floor.

"there you are, kitty"

your heart jumped with a start. how did he get in so fast?

minho shut the door behind him, arms reaching over to shove you firmly against the wall. there was no way you could get away.

"l-let me go" you screamed, trying to move out of his iron grasp. he pushed your head against the wall. your cheek squished and you struggled to even move.

these were the times you realised just how strong he actually was. and if he wanted to he could do anything he liked.

"no s-stop stop i-it" you said, as you felt him lift your skirt up. it was your favourite skirt. not to thick yet not too short.

"shut it. stop fussing" he hissed out, tugging your panties down. his fingers inching down. you wriggled around.

"a-ahh h-hurts it hurts" you cried out as he shoved his fingers deep into you.

so deep you felt a tinge of discomfort. you weren't wet enough to take three of his digits.

you whined, unable to even speak.

"you know you want it. relax kitten."

he mumbled into your ear, pulling his fingers out. you shivered at the loss.

"be a good kitty and get on your fours"

you shook your head. never.

"n-no i don't w-want it"

he let out an exasperated sigh behind you. a noise of surprise leaving you when he manhandled you. forcing you to the ground.

he maneuvered you. keeping your head pressed on the white floor. your back arched and ass up. skirt pushed up to expose you completely. embarassment was what you felt.

minho used his knees to keep your legs apart. you couldn't help it.

your cunt throbbing for something more. something bigger. something wet.

whereas your mind was all over the place. everything was happening so fast you didn't know if you were ready.

no prep. but this is what you and him had discussed much ahead of time.

consensual non consent. he could fuck you whenever he felt like it. regardless of whether you wanted it. and that made you feel some type of way.

his personal playtoy. your body belonging to him. him having complete control over you. the control part is what you loved.

"you say you don't want me but look at you" he let out, you could hear him take his belt of with one hand. his zipper being pulled down.

"arching your back for me, your leaking so much kitten. anyone would think you're a bitch in heat, presenting yourself to me"

you felt your eyes water. desperation.

"i-..i-" you stuttered, his grip on your hair so strong, you couldn't even lift your head up. your face smushed down.

"when are you going to accept it..shut up and take it"

your mouth dropped open. a pained whine escaping you as he entered you.

fuck, he was so big. you'd never get used to his size. and now with no lube, your thighs trembled at the discomfort. a heavy weight.

"ah-h m-minho hurts..p-paining" you cried out, body shaking at how stretched out you were. you were at your max.

"oh does it?" he asked, voice going low and condescending.

"still hurts?" your eyes rolling to the back of your head as he moved his hips. burying himself even deeper. this time not stopping his movements.

"accept it, kitten. you want me to fuck you full. to breed you" minho said, voice cracking as you still tried to adjust to him.

you squirmed as he held your hips, pulling you back to meet his thrusts. choked out noises and whimpers leaving your parted lips.

"d-don't want your c-cum hnghh-"

your eyes shot open as he pulled out completely. you stayed extremely still. not knowing what was going to happen next. he mumbled an annoyed 'fine'.

"crawl." he said out lazily.

"come on im giving you a chance to walk away"

could you really believe him? you hesitated for a entire minute. unsure. until you rose to your elbows and slowly inched ahead.

your speed slowly increasing. that was till you were dragged back. his cock slipping back into your warm cunt with no effort.

"you really thought huh"

"your pussy is begging to be filled. your dripping onto the floor. so quit lying."

tears fell on the ground. everything felt so good. so real. so different.

"i'll make sure to pump you full of my cum until you can't take anymore. you take what im giving you"

his hips ramming into you. getting pushed forward with every animalistic thrust.

"n-no pull o-out...pull out p-please minho not in me" you cried out, shaking in his grasp. you wanted it. you wanted his cum.

"you cunt says otherwise. swallowing me fucking whole like its been starved"

he held you in place.

one particular hard thrust and you could feel him inside you. filling you up to the brim. your own cum mixing with his and leaking outside of your poor abused hole.

"ahhhh keep it all inside"

minho instructed, watching as you clenched. trying your best to keep all of him in. but you couldn't. sitting on his haunches watching how your pussy quivered at just how much had seeped out.

warm.

sticky.

your knees gave in and you fell completely on the floor. your breathing heavy.

minho shuffled around behind you. everything was beginning to set in. but minho was there. you knew he was going to take care of you.

"did so well for me, sweetheart"

[aechii]

hii! I have a request <3 can you write something about jude's gf being jealous? the reader is confident so they kiss jude in front of whoever is flirting with jude? and jude is smiling like mmm thats my girl and you are cute when you are jealous haha i hope u understand <3 thanks <33

ALL FOR ME !

PAiRiNG ?! gf!reader x bf!jude

A/N ?! so to whoever requested this, i would seriously like to apologise for letting this marinate in my inbox for WEEKS. ive lost my mojo and can barely write but here it is!! hope you enjoy <3

WARNiNG ?! tincy bit suggestive?? i think lol

figuratively speaking, the girl who had, unrightfully, welded herself to jude's side should've materialised 6 feet underground from the look [y/n] had given her. from across the room, after slipping into the kitchen to get herself an iced drink, she watched as the girl, even with jude's obvious awkwardness and too-far-from-the-eyes smiles, repeatedly slapped his arm in feigned humour. honestly speaking, [y/n] could feel the jealously well up within her, although it had no right to because even from where she stood, jude was showing no interest whatsoever.

"she's trying... way too hard," words sounded from beside [y/n], voice familiar as she matched them to her best friend, who was also the host of the night's party. her arms were crossed and she shook her head in disappointment, "seen jude push her hands off more than my boyfriend's taken a shot tonight. and he's taken a lot."

her humour, in any other instance, would've spurred laughter from [y/n], but the more she watched jude get antsy, the more she itched to make herself known.

"i'm going over there."

her best friend hummed, "get your man."

[y/n] wormed her way through the lingering bodies dotted around the room, and the second she made it across, she noticed how jude's expression morphed into one of sheer relief. forcing a smile on her face, she walked up to him, sliding a hand up his chest and curling it around his shoulders.

"hey babe," her tone was unsuspecting of anger, but jude sensed it nonetheless. knew it wasn't targeted at him however, "the kitchen ran out of the drink you wanted, sorry." she conjured a lie that wasn't too far from the truth, unwanting to cause a scene that would ruin the, otherwise, tranquil, sociable night.

"nah it's alright, love," jude countered, eyes averting to the other girl whose face began to fall into annoyance. he winked at her just as [y/n] pushed her lips unto his in a slow, deep tandem, his content hum ricocheting off the surface of her skin. they almost lost themselves in each other, jude's grin making it impossible to keep their lips interlocked, before the girl huffed, irritated, swivelling on the balls of her feet and walking away. the kiss broke up as soon as the taut air washed away in her trail, as if she ambled with her tail between her legs, and jude's smile widened into [y/n]'s cheek.

"you're so jealous, it's cute," jude humoured, pecking her cheek lightly. it didn't deter his girlfriend, who stared at him, detangling herself to cross her arms, "should've walked away."

"wanted to, but," jude shrugged, "as much as it wasn't getting intolerable, i could feel your eyes on me."

[y/n] let it go, tilting her head to press a small, reassuring kiss into jude's lips.

"you like it?"

jude smirked, leaning in to catch [y/n]'s bottom lip between his teeth. he watched as it bounced back and flushed a deep red, "'course i do. it's so fucking hot."

his girlfriend laughed, throwing her head back, giving jude the opportunity to kiss her neck.

"you're nasty, jude."

"and you love it, babe."

"and you're all mine, hm?"

jude grinned, hands tightening around his girlfriend's waist, "same for you, love. all for me."

[haroldthehuckleberry]

Step-Son MPreg

CW- mpreg, sex, language, Step-Son X Step-Dad storyline

I always fancied my step-dad since i met him i thought he was hot, hes a classic himbo, hes tall, muscly, blonde and stupid as can be.

I never knew if he was purposefully flirting with me of was just too stupid to understand it was wrong, but it being wrong made me so horny, id often wank off after he’d compare our hand sizes, snuggle up to me or even bend over to empty the dishwasher, anything and everything he did turned me on so hard! he always wore clothes that left nothing to the imagination, short-shorts, crop-tops or no tops! My actual dad loved this about him and it made me so jealous seeing them cuddle and kiss and then one day… my dad went on a business trip. it was now or never.

i came downstairs in my dressing-gown and boxers showing off my abs and mediocre pecs i walked into the living room to my step-dad half asleep on the couch only in his briefs and white running socks, sweating and scratching his perfect body when he saw me he woke up a little and pushed a finger into his underwear suggestively “oh… hey man” he said in a gruff half awake voice “h-hey” i stammered taken aback by how horny he already seemed my cock visibly swelled in my already tight boxers. he glanced down to it quickly and blushed “come here pal i have something to show you” he said gesturing for me to walk over- i follow his orders and sit next to him, he places his hand on the back of my head and pulls me in for a deep long kiss. i rest my hand on his groin and feel his cock twitch and harden through his pants i then slowly kiss his neck, then his chest, then his abs until his beautiful totem-pole of a cock is in-front of my face. i confidently slip it all into my throat in one go and he lets out a little moan.

i suck him off for what feels like an hour before he pulls me up by my armpits and spins me around, he lifts my dressing gown up and squeezes my ass before bending me over the couch as he teases my underwear down making my cock twitch due to the prolonged friction, he then rubs the head of his penis along the outside of my un-used hole while i beg for his cock i then moan loudly as he slides it all in at once. he grabs the hair on the back of my head and holds my cock in the other one of his massive veiny hands his expert technique instantly turns me into a worthless hole only purpose is to please him, after a few hours of fucking and cumming we fall asleep on the couch naked together.

after a few more days of constant fucking, sucking and cumming my real dad comes home and we have to start being discrete, doing it in one of our cars or while hes away or even just quietly under the kitchen table, the closer he is, the hotter we find it.

after months of this i notice a small ball in the centre of my stomach while getting dressed i think nothing of it and carry on and on until its too obvious to hide under baggy clothes, i tell people im just bulking cause i want to build mass, i wanted to believe it but me and my step dad knew it was more.

his cum must be super-human i quickly became the biggest pregnant person id ever seen i stuck to my story but less and less people believed it that was when my dad confronted me “hey buddy!” he said putting his head around my door into my room as i lay weighted down by my planet-belly, “ive noticed that your clearly pregnant” i try to sit up and defend myself but it takes me far to long to even start bending my mid-section “you dont need to deny it i know what it looks like-you where one hell of a baby! anyway i was just wondering who the daddy was and if hes in the picture” i knew he was asking because my other dad was never in the picture “well erm he kind of is” i finally admit rubbing my tight taught skin “its m-my step dad” i say defeated. “no fucking way!” my dad says more surprised than angry he finally steps fully in my room without a shirt on revealing his own pretty-large pregnant belly…

[star-anise]

now, hold still—

I'd kill for some resources on body image in the context of disability, chronic pain, and having grown up with a complicated and intense medical history. I think I've exhausted my local library's offerings. Yes, I'm seeing a counsellor who focuses on this, and he's probably got recs, but I'm pacing my cage and lashing my tail in between sessions.

"Body image" has a particular connotation most of the time, because it comes out of the field that deals with eating disorders. Which is great and I'm glad for the people it works for, but its basic principles and assumptions are for completely different problems than the one I have.

I can't track down who said it first, but in my reading I keep coming across this narrative of, "I saw my body as something to be disciplined and controlled, an object only seen by external eyes. Now I've learned to take joy in what my body can do and experience, and to see it as a site of pleasure."

...Sounds fake, but okay.

My body is a site of pain. It cannot do or bear the experience of many things. I have to exercise a huge amount of discipline and control just to get out of bed every day. I can't imagine my body being a visible object that other people might find pleasing; it's incredibly hard to look up from my continual tooth-and-nail fight getting my body to let me live to imagine what someone who doesn't live with all this shit might see.

When I was a child, I learned to hold myself very still. For a hairdresser, or photographer, or a dentist, or someone who wanted to measure my height, or an injection, or a doctor who wanted a demonstration of how one of my joints looked, or an X-ray, or an IV inserted, or a CAT scan, or to have a cast taken off, or a PET scan, or to have a wound treated, or an MRI, or to have a pin pulled out.

And you know, I got proud of that. I felt like a brave warrior in a fantasy novel. I learned to take deep breaths, and take myself in my mind away from the anxiety and unpleasantness, until I could shut down my reaction to it. So that I didn't flinch or scream or cry. Because there was something wrong with my body, and doctors knew how to fix it.

When I was getting assessed for fibromyalgia, this new doctor told me he was going palpate areas in my back, arms, and knees. I get a lot of massage; I knew what was coming. I slowed my breathing, concentrating on the long outbreath. I took myself away from my reactions and thought continually, obsessively, about letting my body droop, weightless, like the moment when your aching limbs meet a solid surface and fresh cool sheets.

"Hm, I dunno," he said. "A lot of this checks out, but your trigger point exam was totally negative. Most people, when I touch those points, they have a big reaction. Some people even scream and jump off the table."

"Well, no," I think I said. "If I'd done that, it would have hurt way more, for like, hours." And I was polite about it, because you have to be polite to doctors; doctors know how to make you feel better. But what I felt at the time, and still feel today, is a kind of outrage I labelled was unreasonable the moment it was born: You wanted to hurt me, and it's my fault for not letting you?

How do you learn how to ask for things, when you've taught yourself to lie still and cry quietly because the nurse who said they'd be right back is helping someone who suddenly needs the help more? How do you express yourself, when you've spent your whole life gritting your teeth?

The problems I have about my body are not about being attractive or thin. They are, however, about being small. Learning to cry less, scream less, and ask for less. About feeling like my body is a burden to anyone who comes to know it, and like that's a burden I can't ask other people to take on unless I'm staggering under the weight of it.

Right now, what I've got is this:

Remember, you weren’t the one who made you ashamed, but you are the one who can make you proud. Just practice, practice until you get proud, and once you are proud, keep practicing so you won’t forget. You get proud by practicing.