#but it's always nice to see one of my less popular favorites get acknowledged

[turtleations]

Interview with haderu (jealkb / Vo)

Published in the hide BIBLE (by Akemi Oshima) 2008

Q1: When did you first learn about hide?

A: I knew about him in high school.

Q2: Please tell us what kind of impression you had at the time.

A: Unique, and I was deeply moved by his sense of the world.

Q3: Please tell us of a way in which hide influenced you.

A: He was always my aspiration. He influences us a lot and we get references from him for jealkb’s performances.

Q4: What did hide mean to you?

A: As hide-san’s fan, I was surprised by the high quality of his musical works and performances as an artist.

Q5: How did you collect information?

A: I got them from buddies at the time.

Q6: Out of hide’s songs, which is your favorite and why?

A: “Honey Blade”, because hide-san’s world can be intoxicating. When I heard that song, I thought I wanted to create a song with such an intoxicating world view.

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Interviews - Henry Cavill x wife/actress reader

Summary: You and Henry have been married for a couple years now, and when you’re both part of the Witcher cast, fun interviews are to be had.

Warning: nothing but a good time, btw I’ve never written anything like this so I hope it’s good enough that I might feel motivated to write more

-Readers Witcher character is loosely based off my Geralt fic from here (just a little self promotion), but in this case you play a full vampire in this Witcher universe

The days have been long and grueling, filming hours upon hours of stunts and regular acting had taken its toll. Not to mention the countless times in hair and make up paired with costume changes and traveling to film on certain locations.

To say being apart of Netflix’s The Witcher was full of tiring days and some accidental bruises would be a huge understatement. But none of that mattered, nor did you bother to complain when through the thick and thin of it all did you have Henry with you along the way. And your favorite big slobbery bear, Kal whenever he was allowed on set.

Fortunately for you in the beginning of all the craziness, the casting and writers had wanted you specifically for the part of Y/C/N in the new series before Henry even auditioned for the role of Geralt, that was soon given to him after you accepted your fresh role of vampiric heroine.

It was ironically strange in a good way, you had watched your dork of a husband play the Witcher: Wild Hunt a few times before, eventually learning of what Geralt of Rivia was, who Y/C/N was in the story, who Yennefer and Ciri were, Tris and even Jaskier.

Who would have thought that you’d finally get to snag a role side by side with Henry in quite literally one of the most fantastic shows you’ve ever heard of. You didn’t even need to see the show yet to know how well it was most likely to be reviewed. Being a key character in the grand storyline was enough to convince you of how amazing it would most certainly turn out in the finished product.

And after all was said and done, you couldn’t believe how well loved and popular the show truly became in the following months after shooting and its eventual release onto Netflix. The after parties and cast celebrations truly made you blessedly grateful for pulling through to the vary end.

Then again you had your mans Henry by your side every step of the way. He was your rock and you were most definitely his. You know life on set would have been far less entertaining and dreadfully long if not for the lovely company of your dear Witcher, Henry. And so far after the fact, you and a good portion of the cast have been placed in random interviews for the majority of the day.

Reason being, The Witcher has at long last finally premiered and as per usual the people and media live for those cast interviews that always reveal some interesting events. So far this morning you’ve done some interviews with Anya that have gone perfectly fine since the two of you seem to click so well.

Also it helps ease the anxiety of your fellow newer cast mates to the world of continuous interviews with an experienced veteran actor like yourself, who’s gone round the ring more times then you can count. Though you can’t help but wonder how Henry’s doing, considering you’ve been separated since the sessions began at 10am, you’ve had lunch and now it’s about 1 in the afternoon with more hours to go.

Luckily for you, you’ve just been informed of another interview with the man of the hour himself. Saying your goodbyes and well wishes to your fellow cast mates, you stand and follow the guide into the advised place. Aka some really nice hotel room that’s been done up real nice for efficient interviewing, complete with the Witcher insignia on a large background poster and three chairs that happen to look rather comfy.

The camera and sound people nod in acknowledgment as you walk in, you nod back no doubt making their day with your friendliness and adorable smile that quite literally lights up a room. Soon you spot the bubbly yet nervous interviewee who instantly welcomes you into her space like you’re an old friend.

You sit, a bit confused as to where your partner happens to be at the moment, the interviewer, Lauren makes small talk before a door opens and her big bright doe eyes go wide in nervous excitement. A telling smile upon her face as she shifts in her chair before looking back to you again with a happy grin.

Henry says a quick hello to the behind the scenes crew before waving to Lauren, you smirk while watching him get comfortable next to you, “Well, well, well. Get lost on your way up, you know they have guides for a reason.” You tease as he chuckles at your humorous jab, relieved to see you again after a couple hours apart.

“Traffic.” He quips with a shrug.

“Uh huh.” You mutter with a shake of your head before drawing your attention back to Laura, “Can’t take him anywhere I swear, he does this all the time.”

She laughs as Henry pretends to gasp at your teasing, you chuckle along with them before she finally collects herself, “Well, welcome back to London. It’s fantastic to have you both in town once again, and your big beautiful faces all over Leicester Square.”

You both laugh, “Right.” Says Henry, “I guess we do look pretty cool.”

“Hell yeah, I mean where else can I see myself with a giant sword on a building? And anyways look at this beautiful mug,” You say gently squeezing Henry’s cheeks in your hand, “he’s literally killing it out there.” They laugh as you give Hen another playful squeeze before letting go and setting your arm against the chairs cushioned armrest. 

“Alight let’s start.” She says enthusiastically before glancing down at her cards then back up to you and Henry. Then into one of the two the cameras, “Hi I’m Lauren from Entertainment Weekly and today we’re here with the two stars of Netflix’s The Witcher.” She says enthusiastically while giving a nod to you two, indicating that the camera is now focused on you both, “Henry Cavill and Y/N Cavill.”

You both smile in acknowledgment as Henry gives a slight nod, “How you doing?”

“I’m great,” She beams, “So, I’ll get right into it, what do you like most about the story? What really drew you into the script that made you say, yes this is going to be awesome?”

Slapping a hand against Henry’s muscular leg, you hum, “I’ll let Hen take this one he’s a real expert on the linguistics of the whole show.”

“Thanks Y/N/N.” Replies Henry, bemused that you’re making him take the first question.

You nod to him knowingly with a smirk, “Of course.” Knowing how much he loves to talk about the show and also because you’d rather have him use his energy to talk about it then do that yourself. Priorities, right, though in your defense it’s been a long day.

“Well I absolutely love the games and the books themselves are phenomenal works of literature.” He explains, his face glowing with that usual glimmer of excitement in his eyes, “The story and the world of the Witcher is just so rich and full of potential that when I signed on for the show, I immediately knew it would be amazing, no doubt.”

You lean into the arm of you chair, “And of course I was there so that’s always a bonus.”

“That too.” He smiles adorably, “That too of course.”

Lauren smiles, “Great. So, what was it like working together, how was it having your characters interact with one another?”

You smile, setting a hand against Henry’s forearm, “This guy right here.” You deadpan before waving him off dramatically, “So annoying, my god he whined all the time and he was such a drama queen dear lord so ugh....” You start cackling before you can even finish the sentence causing Henry to loose it as well and with that the interviewer.

Shaking your head you rest your hand against his shoulder, “I joke, he was a gem to work with as usual...I mean I feel incredibly blessed to be able to act alongside my husband for months and months every single day. It’s a rarity in this line of work and I’m grateful to have shared this experience...and I guess more so this whole adventure with him as well.”

The interviewer aww’s as Henry tilts his head to lean into your hand that’s still resting atop his shoulder before pulling away just as quickly, the intimate sentiment not going unnoticed by you or Lauren who looks to be enjoying your loving yet calm energy with one another. “That’s so sweet, what about you Henry?”

“Oh yes absolutely,” Agrees Henry to your recent statement, “not only did I have her by my side through it all but the dynamic of our characters interacting together was so fun to shoot. I think the audience will really be able to see their relationship grow on screen into something strong and beautiful like in the books.”

Slow clapping you give him a curt nod of approval, “Well said.”

Lauren smirks, “Seems like it. Well, I was able to catch the premier yesterday and I gotta say...it was fantastic! I couldn’t believe how diffident the two of you looked from how you are now.” She gushes enthusiastically.

The corners of Henry’s lips curl into a proud smile for the fellow crew of the Witcher’s, “Oh that’s great then, honestly we gotta give all the props to the costume and makeup team, they’re so talented and know how to make us look like real badasses.” He adds.

You nod in agreement before grinning at a positive memory of your first interaction with Henry as Geralt, “Oh for sure, I remember during the early stages of production when our characters met each other for the first time, before this we came to set together but went separate ways to shoot our own stuff in the meantime so I never got a real look at him.” You recall with a bright smile as Henry watches your every move, beaming just the same.

“It was so funny, I was in the tent with Freya Allen, the wonderful girl who plays Ciri, and then suddenly her eyes got all big and nervous and I was like, that’s not me right? Something weird didn’t just happen with my costume? And then I turned around to find this man, wig on, face a mess, and his eyes looked so fearsome and different...it was a bit startling.” You say with a chuckle, “I clearly wasn’t expecting to see Geralt right then and there. He just looked so unlike Henry.”

“Yeah, I was almost hurt.” Laughs Henry, “She had to like squint and make sure it was me.”

Rolling your eyes, you shrug, “He had some real creepy looking colored contacts, yunno?”

Henry fake scoffs, “You’re one to talk, I mean when I first say her, Y/N’s eyes were red and she had fake blood spattered all over her face and shirt. Oh, and not to mention those fangs they put on your teeth...we probably traumatized poor Freya that day.”

“Oh shit you’re right!” You exclaim with a snort of concealed laughter, “God I completely forgot about how I looked...now since I think about it, I did that a lot too. I would just walk up to people and be completely oblivious as to what kind of nightmare I looked like, honestly I might have scared one of our producers a couple of times.” You add with a half nervous laugh, it’s true, you did scare some of the crew unintentionally. Most of the time.

Lauren lightly chuckles, “That sounds like you were quite the sight to see then.” She says before glancing back down at her notes, “Alright I have’ta ask, is there anything that you two took home with you from set?”

“Besides Henry every night,” He holds back a laugh while covering his mouth as you nonchalantly continue, “Uh, yes actually I got to take home Y/C/N’s wolf ring that I loved so much and just thought was the coolist thing ever and....uh, I might have stolen some socks too.”

“So that’s why after filming the amount of socks of yours I had to fold increased?” Wonders Henry with a surprised snort of realization.

Turning your head to give him a “no shit” kinda look, you look back at Lauren, pointing your thumb at Henry, “Master sleuth right here, but hey, he folds my laundry.”

“Aw that’s great.” Adds Lauren with a smile before turning her attention to Henry, “What about you Henry? Take anything from set?”

“More then Y/N did actually...”

“He just about took the whole makeup trailer most nights, I swear.”

Henry chuckles, “That. Is true.” He agrees with a nod, “Interesting enough, at home I’ve got Geralt’s armor hung up in our living room and a multitude of other nicknacks that I’ve collected during filming.” He adds, glancing over to you, “So uh, yeah, we were fairly lucky to be able to snag what we could.”

Lauren smiles, absentmindedly shuffling her cards, “That’s awesome to have such special memorabilia, you guys really are fortunate.” She adds before reading off from another card, “Alright you two, care to play a game called guess the image? Witcher style.”

Your face perks up at this, you’re a sucker for interview games and Henry knows it, “Are you reading my mind or something, I have been waiting all day for someone to ask about playing a game.” You gush rather enthusiastically. 

He smiles at your adorableness and how excited you’ve just become, Lauren grins, happy that her suggestion has been so well received, “Okay so how it works is, I’ll show you an image on my iPad and then you have to guess who or what I’m showing you.”

“Oh, cool I’ve heard of this,” You reply, turning to Henry with a smirk, “Loser has to clean Kal’s yard poop for a week.”

Rolling his gorgeous blue eyes he chuckles, “You’re on.”

“Alright, the stakes are high, you two ready?” Beams Lauren, holding her iPad to her chest as she awaits an answer.

“Yes, I’m ready to kick his ass.” You quip, leaning an arm against your chair while Henry does about the same, though he does his best to contain his laughter.

“Okay, first image.” She holds up the device to show some sort of weird golden thing, it’s shiny and hard, worst part is that you’re not entirely sure what the hell it could be.

Sensing your confusion Henry nudges your shoulder, though you ignore it before he smartly answers, “Oh, is that...Renfri’s brooch?” Little shit knows exactly what that is, of course he does.

Lauren claps, “Correct.” Zooming out of the image to show the full picture of the golden brooch, “Right on, that’s one point for Mr. Cavill.”

You scoff playfully, “Beginners luck.” While Henry side eyes you with a humorous grin upon his plush lips, he nudges your arm, “I’m going to really enjoy not cleaning up Kal’s grass turds for awhile.” He mutters lightheartedly, though you know deep down he’s being serious, no way is he going to win this, you think. You won’t have it, hopefully the next few pictures aren’t as difficult, Kal duty is not fun by any means.

“Shut up.” You grumble with a dismissive wave of your hand, though just teasing of course.

“Okay next image.” This time the blurred photo looks much more familiar, soon it clicks as to what the obscured blurriness actually is, yes!

“Got it! Anya’s er I guess Yennefer’s dress from the fight at Sodden.” Lauren giggles, zooming the image out to reveal Yennefer in her tasseled blue and purple dress from the battle at Sodden Hill. “I’m amazing I know.” You boast at Henry with a casual little bow in your seat.

“It’s the second question.” He deadpans, eyes crinkling in amusement as you shake your head at him.

“Pffff get outta here.” You mutter back, gently pushing his arm off of your chairs armrest and setting yours in its place while he gives you a fake shocked expression.

In turn you can’t help the smile that tugs at the corner of your lips, so instead of saying some sassy remark that would no doubt get a reaction out of him, you turn your attention back over to Lauren who’s looking over her notes again.

“Fantastic,” She says, glancing back up at you and Henry, “you’re both tied with one point each. Alright, anyone know what this is?” She asks showing something red and fuzzy, a bit of dirty skin showing from one corner but with The Witcher this bloody image could literally be anything.

The both of you squint, puzzled as to what this could be, “Y/N you got any ideas.” Wonders Henry, brows furrowed as his face contorts into deep concentrated thought.

Raising a brow, you hum, “If I knew I wouldn’t tell you.”

“Fair point.” He chuckles.

Lauren smiles, “Any guesses?”

 After a few concentrated moments, Henry shrugs in defeat,  “I’m stumped.” He admits as you study the image harder, mind racing to put the pieces together as to what the hell you’re looking at.

“No, I think I might know this....erm is it...me?” You wonder, voice raising in question, hoping to be correct about this or face the teasing of Henry.

Lauren quickly zooms out of the obscured image, “It is!” She says excitedly, revealing the picture of you from your characters debut in episode 2 where you save a girl from a werewolf, your mouth is covered in blood and so is most of your costumes chest area and left arm from the struggle. Not to mention the make-up teams fun 20 minutes of throwing fake sticky blood all over you to get the right look for the taxing scene.

You grimace a bit, “Oh god that was quite the day on set,” You recall with a half smile, “I was doing stunts all day covered in that red syrupy dye, I think it took a week to get out of my skin.”

Henry suddenly snorts with laughter, “Right! That reminds me, I thought Kal had gotten cut or something, it was just Y/N who had hugged him not realizing she still had some fake blood on her arm.”

“Jeez that’s right, I felt so bad, but I couldn’t stop laughing once we realized it was just me.”

Lauren grins, excited to hear some hidden information about little things that happens behind the scenes, “Oh wow that must have been a sight, alright Henry, Y/N’s taken the lead with a two to one score.” She says as you playfully nudge his strong shoulder. “Second to last image, what is this?”

Without missing a single beat Henry replies, “Jaskier.”

Squinting at the image you lean closer to the iPad, “How the hell do you see Jaskier?”

Smiling the interviewer zooms out to reveal the bards full outfit from the banquet scene, though he’s in the background of a fight between Geralt and some Cintran knights. “Right on!” She exclaims as you lean back into your seat dumbfounded, shoulder flush against Henry’s as he clutches your arm and squeezes it affectionately.

Ignoring his silent show of victory you shrug, “And they say he’s just another pretty face,” Earning a laugh from Lauren and some of the crew as you smirk at the camera, face them shifting to apologetic, “also I’m so sorry Joey you beautiful bastard apparently I’m blind. Uh, we don’t have to dwell on it, Lauren whatcha got?”

“You guys are both tied with two points each, last chance to win.” She replies before glancing down at her iPad, “Alright, what is this?” She asks, her iPad showing that of fuzzy bright colors, with a small corner smear of dull white that clearly wouldn’t make much sense to the untrained eye.

Smirking you glance at a puzzled Henry before sitting up in your seat, feeling rather good about yourself, “Would that happen to be, Hen in Stregobor’s illusion?” You answer with, though sounding a bit as a question considering you aren’t entirely confident as to what image this is.

Lauren’s brows raise in surprise, “Henry, looks like we have a winner. Y/N you are correct.” She beams, enlarging the image to reveal Geralt’s side profile as he talks to the old wizard while the background stays colorful and shrouded in various arrays of sunlight..

Shaking your fist victoriously in the air you give a couple enthusiastic whoop whoops while Henry simply takes it like a champ, “Have fun cleaning up Karl’s monster turds, cause this lucky lady doesn’t have to.” You boast as Henry and the crew laugh.

“Well that was something,” Beams Lauren, “I’m so glad to have chatted for a bit about your guys’ amazing new series, and maybe ended a relationship in the process.” She says jokingly as both you and Henry chuckle.

Patting his thigh affectionately, you smirk, “He’s a tough old bear, but yeah, it was awesome having you talk to us.”

“Yes, take care now.” Adds Henry while the interviewer Lauren stands, saying her goodbyes as she goes to exit the room.

The camera crew take a small break to adjust things and whatnot as you and Henry wait patiently for the next interviewer. He turns, an adorable smile pulling at his lips while you pretend to ignore his fiery gaze. “Well that went pretty well, minus the fact that I’m on Kal poop duty for a week...but uh...” He leans in close to you now, “I missed you all morning.”

Breaking out into a smile you raise a brow, “Boring without me huh?”

“Always.”

You casually shrug, “I figured as much. Don’t worry, we have a hotel all to ourselves tonight.” Your brows wiggle suggestively causing your blue eyed lover to shake his head with amusement.

“Say it louder next time.” He jokes.

Side eyeing the oblivious crew you begin to speak a couple octaves louder, “Henry I can’t wait to fu..” Suddenly his hand presses against your mouth before you’re able to call any attention to yourself. He gives you a warning look before slowly pulling his hand from your mouth.

You grin mischievously, “I wasn’t gonna say that...”

“Sure Y/N,” He mutters in your ear as a new interviewer walks into the room and finds their chair, “and I’m wasn’t going to make you scream tonight.”

Your brows raise in surprise and admittedly slight arousal at his choice of wording in this room of all places. Eyeing him up, face still showing surprise, you finally break out into a satisfied smirk. “You know what? I think you should consider changing your offer.”

He thinks deeply for a moment, though you know he’s only pretending to get you riled up, “Hrmm...maybe, possibly, should I? Should we? You are my co-star after all, that wouldn’t be very professional now would it Y/N?” He states with a shit eating grin, all done while the crew and interviewer get ready, minding their business and completely unaware to yourself and Henry’s teasing.

Scoffing playfully you lightly swat his arm, “We are way past being professional.”

He chuckles, looking from you to the rest of the room, “Oh, they have no idea.”

[tamorasky]

2021 Fanfic Year in Review

Thanks @thecassadilla for the tag 💕

Total Completed Works: Completed this year (2 WIP)

Word Count: I think about 174,025

Fandoms I've written for: Frozen, She-Ra Princess of Power (unpublished)

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you expected? I honestly wrote less than I was expecting, I feel like it was a lot more but also taking into consideration that I've only been writing a long fic I'm trying to finish. I wrote a lot more in 2020, but I'm hoping I'll be able to pick things back up in 2022.

What's Your Own Favorite Story Of the Year? I think my favourite has to be Rise to Me, I thought a lot about this question but I spend so much time carefully planning and it's something I'm really proud that I've worked on. (It's even surpassed Mistress Anna for being my favourite fic of mine for all time)

Fanfic goals for the new year: I'm gonna finish Rise to Me, that is the main one for sure. I've had a few AU ideas rattling in my head for a while now, so I'd even like to make a few of them into one-shots to just get them out. And to post my drabbles I wrote this summer onto AO3 finally.

Most popular story of the year: Rise to Me for sure, I think its my most popular story of all time. I was super surprised I wasn't expecting the attention for it that it's gotten. My most popular one shot which got a lot of attention was Thank You, My Dear.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, IMO: HMM...I think my Turn of the Century AU I LOVE this AU so much, it's based on one of my favourite TV shows (Murdoch Mysteries) and it's one I think about constantly turning into a full-length fic one day...maybe if I ever get time again.

Most fun story to write: I have two for this answer Mountain Sound and 1970s AU. Mountian Sound I got to do lots of research for which is something I always enjoy and was a gift for a friend who had been helping me a lot with school work. The 1970s AU because it was kind of the start to this planned 70s AU that @thecassadilla and I have been talking about. Plus I've been threatening a 70s AU for nearly 2 years now and it was nice to see it come to writing finally.

Most unintentionally telling story: I guess Rise to Me. There are a lot of reasons why I feel this way; specifically, it deals with the complexity of emotions and how different people cope with them (whether healthily or unhealthily). There are a lot of personal things that went into this fic, specifically Elsa coming to terms with her sexuality, which has been something I've been working through this past year and continuing to work through. So yeah....

Biggest disappointment: I think not finishing Rise to Me by the end of 2021. Especially since I wrote Mistress Anna (31 chapters) in 6 months whereas this one (40 chapters) has taken me over a year now to complete. But I'm trying to go easy on myself and not stress about it, especially cause I'm trying to finish my degree and acknowledge my limitations.

Biggest surprise: I think...just personally like how much my friendships have grown within the fandom. I met so many people in 2020 when I joined (many inactive now). I've always been one of those people who believes "a good thing can never last" and I always thought that many of those friendships wouldn't last. And some didn't, but the ones that did have only grown to mean so much more to me. And that's all because of the Frozen fandom. Because I genuinely came into this space not expecting to make friend and the fact that I've made (hopefully) life-long ones is a really great surprise. (BLEH TOO SAPPY?)

Tagging, ANYONE WHO WANTS TO PARTICIPATE!

[whatifxwereyou]

Ashes Chapter 13: Perception

Fandom: Mortal Kombat 2021

Pairing: Liu Kang x Reader

A/N: Maybe it's inevitable. Definitely cried like an adult while writing parts of this. I'm a weepy baby. I hope you imagine an ugly MySpace style sparkly gif every time Y/N uses the word "kidnapping". As always, appreciate you guys <3

First Chapter << Previous Chapter Next Chapter >> Chapter Index

Buzz.

You peeked one eye open and caught sight of the smart phone dancing around on the nightstand close by. Strong arms were wrapped around you and there was no mistaking who they belonged to this time. Liu. You’d fallen asleep next to each other and somewhere along the line, in unconsciousness, he’d cuddled against you.

This was fine.

This was all fine.

The phone continued to dance and nearly vibrated right off the edge of the nightstand and onto the floor. You grabbed it from its place near the edge and wiped your eyes with your other hand. Johnny Cage. Rubbing your eyes again, you checked the time on the phone. It was nine at night. Carefully you snuck out of Liu’s arms without waking him. You’d mastered sneaking out of bed while you’d been dating Kung Lao. He was so heavy a sleeper that in the beginning of your relationship you had wound up trapped beneath his arms for hours. Then when you tried to get away, you’d wake him up. Eventually you’d mastered maneuvering from his grasp without waking him because waking him led to fooling around or talking and then you were either trapped having to pee or late for some responsibility or another.

Liu adjusted behind you but didn’t wake up. You fixed your askew shirt, grabbed your keycard, and then answered the phone and stepped into the hallway, carefully closing the door behind you.

“This is weird. I don’t think I even got your name earlier.” Johnny spoke without waiting for you to acknowledge him. You chuckled beneath your breath then cleared the sleepiness from your throat. “I know that may seem like it’s a pretty common thing for me but…”

“Y/N. You can call me Y/N.” You interrupted what you were sure was a very cleverly crafted explanation about his popularity and fame. Johnny Cage seemed like the type to be easily derailed from a topic with banter. You’d become skilled at wrangling men like that given that Kung Lao had been your other half for so long.

“And you’re from China, right?”

“Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?”

“Just trying to make sure I spell your name right…” His voice was distant, as if he spoke nowhere near the phone. You spelled your name for him with a sigh. “Is that…?”

“That is not important right now.” You interrupted him again. You had to keep him on task or this conversation was going to go on forever.

“Right, yes. I’ve been thinking about this morning.”

“And?”

“I was hoping to hash out the details with you guys before I officially agree to anything.” Johnny Cage tried to sound like he was bargaining with you but you were already convinced that he was joining you. This seemed like a formality. Or like he was dragging it out. Why? You couldn’t think of a good reason. Maybe to try and land a date with Sonya? You didn’t think that was going to happen and also it seemed petty. Then again, you and Liu were a hot mess in the middle of all of this so you couldn’t criticize anyone else’s motives. “I’ve begun clearing my schedule for the next few weeks but I’m a busy man, you know. Takes time.”

“I understand that. I’m sure that we can meet tomorrow to answer any questions you may still have.” There was no point in arguing with him on that. It was a reasonable request though not entirely necessary. Besides, you were still ready to jump to the kidnapping stage of this endeavor. If he caused too much trouble tomorrow then you would promptly lure him somewhere quiet and knock him out. Then you’d go from there. You could probably convince Cole to help you if you had to but you didn’t think it would go that far.

“That’s exactly what I hoped to hear!” You could hear the smile on Johnny’s face. “When we’re off the phone, I’ll text you where to meet me.”

“Sounds like a plan.” You yawned.

“I wanted to ask you something. You seem like a nice woman.”

Oh, how misguided a man Johnny Cage was. Oddly trusting for someone in his position. Here you were planning out an elaborate scheme to kidnap him and drag him to China and he thought you were nice. It was probably the tea thing from earlier. Ah, well. You’d fooled him.

“Ask away, Mr. Cage.”

“Just Johnny, if you don’t mind.”

“Sure.”

Then he sighed as if trying to word his question or embarrassed to ask it. You waited patiently. There was no need to rush him. You weren’t sure that Johnny Cage could be rushed. “Are you guys for real? Or are you just dicking me around? No one put you up to this, right?” After everything that you had showed him that morning, he was still stuck on the idea of this being a prank. Was Johnny often victim to silly pranks? Did he find himself the butt end of a joke amongst friends? It was funny to imagine.

“I know that this is… what’s the saying? Difficult medicine to take?” You weren’t so good with the English idioms. Maybe that was why he thought you to be nice. You were far more sarcastic in your native tongue. Your English was good but stuff didn’t always come out right.

“Hard pill to swallow but I got the point.” Johnny chuckled. “…so yeah? It’s true?”

“Trust me, Mr. Cage, I have much better things to do than play silly pranks on you.” You reassured him but he scoffed as if insulted. “That and I’d never heard of you before this.” It sounded like you’d punched him. Ah, yes, the delicate male ego.

“Low blow. Never heard of me?” You could picture the horror on his face.

“No offense meant.”

“I bet you just didn’t remember my name. Dragon Fist? Cage Match? Aquatic Assault? Exiting the Dragon of Death? A personal favorite of mine…”

“Exiting the Dragon of Death?”

“Yeah? You’ve heard of that one?”

“No.”

“Come on, don’t play with me like that.”

“I couldn’t resist.” You spoke over him as he made to list more movies. “I’m sorry to have offended you.” You were certain this could go on all night and you were still tired and now you were hungry too. Your appetite was back and you were far less shaky than you’d been earlier that day. “I did watch one of your films last night with a friend so that I could be familiar with your movement patterns.”

“For that crazy duplication thing you did?”

“For my arcana, yes.”

“…and?”

“It was a fun movie.”

“Which one did you watch?”

“Mr. Cage, this is a conversation for another time. Can we stay on topic?”

“Just Johnny, please.” Apparently no, he could not stay on topic. You pulled the phone away from your face so he wouldn’t hear your heavy sigh. Hearing footsteps behind you, you turned and found Cole approaching holding an ice bucket and offering a wave. He stopped next to you and nodded toward the phone. You mouthed that it was Johnny Cage. Then he offered you a thumbs up, pointed toward the end of the hall and walked away, presumably to get ice. “I’m making a choice to trust you. I don’t think you’re lying to me. I hope I’m making the right choice.”

“I’m a terrible liar so good choice.” He continued going on about something but your brain was tired of the babble. You needed food! This conversation felt like it would have gone on all week if you let him talk the way he wanted to. “Can I trust you no to dick us around?”

“I promise. You’ve got a deal, Y/N.”

“Text me the address and we’ll meet you just before noon.” You assured him.

“Got it. See you then.” Johnny hung up and you breathed a sigh of relief. At least this part of your trip was going smoothly. Seconds later your phone buzzed with a message from the same number. You selected the address and put it into the browser of your phone after figuring out how that worked. From what you could tell, the address seemed legit. A house by the shore. Of course, a beach house. Why wouldn’t he take the opportunity to show off?

“How’d it go?” Cole returned with his bucket full of ice.

“Mr. Cage is going to meet with us tomorrow to discuss details.”

“I anticipated us having to use your devious plan B so I’m surprised he’s going to meet with us.” Cole adjusted the bucket in his arms. “What do you think of him? I’m having a hard time taking him seriously.”

“I meant it when I said that I thought he was funny earlier. Honestly, if we had met without any of this pretense, I think that he and I would get along quite well.” You shrugged. “I also think that he’s going to do what he thinks is right if that’s what you were really asking. Seems like the type to talk a big game but ultimately a good guy.”

“That’s optimistic of you.”

“I usually have a good read on people.”

“I can tell.” Cole gestured toward your door. “You just getting in? Maybe not.” He looked down at your bare feet.

“I was napping.”

“And you came into the hallway to take a call?”

“Yeah, I was uh… going to grab food.”

“Without your shoes?”

“Are you always this nosy, Cole?”

“Not really but this afternoon has been especially boring. Plus, your reactions are entertaining.” Cole smirked. “You have more color now. That’s good to see.”

“Why does no one believe me when I say I’m just tired?” You gestured back to the room. “I’m gonna go.”

“We’re about to grab a bite to eat if you want to join us. Late dinner.”

“No, no, thank you though. That’s sweet. I’m okay.”

“You just said you were going to get food.” Cole laughed.

“…I think I’ll order something.” You pointed to your bare feet but was sure your expression was one that screamed you’d been caught in the most pointless of lies. Cole had inadvertently talked you into a corner. You hadn’t even meant to lie! It had just happened. This was why you didn’t usually bother.

“You’re lying.”

“Yeah, turns out I am. I’m not good at it.”

“I can see that.”

The door to your room opened behind you and Liu Kang peeked into the hall, still looking sleepy.

“Hello Cole” Liu stepped into the hall and kept the door propped open a crack, back leaned against it. Then he bowed his head politely in greeting. He turned to you and spoke Chinese as if this weren’t suspicious. You didn’t think it had the intention that he wanted it to have. “Everything okay?”

“I had a call to take with Mr. Cage. No big deal.” You replied in English to try and make it seem like you had less to hide. Why? Because Cole was already giving you a look as if to say it was ‘nothing’. You sighed. “I’m just about done.”

“Good.” Liu replied in English. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” You snapped at him without meaning to then took a cleansing breath. He was just worried about you but you were tired of the worry. You felt far better than you had earlier. A few hours of sleep had done you good. “I really am fine.” Liu bowed his head politely to both you and Cole and then disappeared back into the hotel room.

“What was it you were saying earlier? About that being nothing?” Cole teased in a whisper after you made no move to offer any explanation.

“If you recall, I also said it was none of your business.” There was no point in trying to lie again. You folded too easily. Instead, you’d be evasive. That was easier. Avoiding the truth was far easier than twisting it at least for you.

“Liu looked pretty tired. You guys have a nice nap?”

“We fell asleep talking.” You narrowed your eyes at his implications but also hated how close he was to the truth.

“Sure, is that what the kids are calling it these days?”

You shoved his shoulder with a laugh. “Your ice is melting Cole. It’s nothing.”

“Yeah, I’m going to have to mentally shift my definition of that word to better fit what I’m seeing.” He teased. “You’re trouble, Y/N. I’m making note of it.”

“You have no idea, Cole.” You pointed to the room behind you. “I’m going now.”

“Enjoy your nothing.” He called after you. You disappeared into the hotel room and then leaned against the door once it closed. You fiddled on your phone and sent a message to Jax, relaying what you’d learned from Johnny Cage along with the address and what you’d agreed to. The door to the small bathroom to your right opened and Liu stepped out, closing the door behind him. He waited patiently for you to finish on your phone.

“When I woke up and couldn’t find you, I was worried.” He nodded to the messy bed where you’d been sleeping. And snuggling. You mustn’t forget that there had been a fair amount of snuggling.

“My phone was ringing and it felt rude to answer it with you asleep so I stepped into the hall.” You shook the phone in your hand and then filled him in on the conversation you’d shared with Johnny Cage. You left out the exhausting banter that had kept you on the phone for far longer than necessary. Even if it had been mentally exhausting, you had also enjoyed talking with him. Your phone buzzed with Jax’s response. “Okay, Jax is going to arrange a ride to take us to meet Johnny tomorrow. He’ll also let everyone else know where to meet.”

“Good.”

Silence followed and you stood awkwardly in the small entranceway of the hotel room.

“So.” You began.

“So.”

“You should probably go, right?”

“Yeah.” Liu shifted but made no move to leave and a smile played on his lips. “Or… I could stay. We could order some food and continue our… getting along for the day.”

“Mostly getting along.” You corrected. Maybe he’d chosen to forget when he’d pushed you against the wall and you’d nearly undressed him. You blinked the mental image away. If you thought about it for too long then you’d probably end up right back where you’d started. “We could. Is that what you wanted to do?”

“Are you okay with that?”

“I guess.”

“There was a menu around here somewhere.” Liu walked back into the open area of the room and you were grateful he’d taken the initiative to make the decision to stay. In all honesty, his presence was comforting and conflicting. You craved the comfort but the guilt and pain made you want to push him away. Your brain was such a mess. Your emotions were even worse. You joined him and mulled over the menu, trying to discern what was safe for you to eat. Liu called to place the order since he had several questions about the food. His diet was more specific than yours was. You had never quite taken to the vegetarian diet completely. Your food arrived and you sat on your bed and ate while making quiet conversation. It was pleasant, if not a little awkward. In a way, it was reminiscent of when you would spend time alone together when you were first dating Kung Lao. You had often avoided discussing the difficult things then but not for the sake of each other. Instead, it was for Kung Lao.

“Cole seems to have taken a shine to you.”

“Yeah, he’s a nice guy and his family is cute. I think he feels guilty about Kung Lao so he’s compensating a little.”

“I could see that. I tried to reassure him that he isn’t to blame.”

“I did too.” You clicked your tongue in amusement. Liu gently nudged you with his shoulder.

“Today was nice.”

“I mean, parts of it were.”

“We had a bit of a rough start but things didn’t end so horribly.”

“Well,” you began in a higher, nervous pitch, “we didn’t exactly fix anything.” Liu laughed. “And I think we definitely made things worse but… all things considered, neither one of us is dead and we aren’t screaming at each other so that’s something.”

“I was thinking and… maybe we don’t have to fix anything.” Liu avoided your eyes and began to clean up dinner. You knew why he was avoiding your eyes because you were looking at him like he’d lost his damn mind. He had. He was insane. You couldn’t keep going like this. You both knew that. “We can’t ignore it, obviously. But we can’t expect to resolve anything when we’re like this. We’re grieving, Y/N. We hurt each other. But I also think that it could be healthy to try and find a way to be content amongst all of that too. We can’t force a resolution, Y/N. I think that’s clear.” Liu’s smile was soft but strained, like talking about it so analytically pained him. “I don’t think I can handle this much misery all the time.”

“I understand.” You didn’t necessarily disagree with him you just couldn’t see the end either. He seemed to think there was some kind of happily ever after waiting for you and you didn’t think there was. The only end to life was death. Even if you found happiness eventually, life would continue moving. No amount of happiness would erase your history nor would it erase your trauma. That didn’t mean you wouldn’t find joy. You were just being realistic. “It’s weird, isn’t it?” You helped him gather the dishes. Liu then placed the tray aside on the desk. You picked up the tray and placed it carefully outside the door and then returned to him. “Surreal is maybe a better word for what we are right now.”

“Surreal works.” Liu’s smile was forced and it pained you. “We’re going to be okay.”

“Oh, you think so, hmm? Confident in that?”

“I am.” He grinned but you could still see that worry behind his dark eyes. Liu had never been a good liar either. It was a wonder that he’d fooled you all those years ago. Perhaps because he’d said all the things that you’d been afraid he’d say.

“I suppose the worst thing that could happen is that we decide not to talk to each other anymore and lose touch. Then in like, thirty years, we’ll reunite and reminisce about the old days. Then this won’t seem so complicated anymore.” You hadn’t realized how much you’d considered that as an option until then. Liu seemed alarmed. “What?”

“Is that what you plan to do?”

“That would imply that I’ve thought past today so… no.” You sat on the side of the bed facing the window. There was no way to open the window so this was as close to the breeze and the stars as you could get. “But it happens. People drift apart even after being as close as we were especially after traumatic stuff like this. And this is a pretty messed up thing we’re dealing with, Liu. I can’t pretend to know what will happen.”

“I don’t want to drift apart.” He sat next to you and cautiously placed a hand over yours on the bed between you. There were times where he treated you like a ticking time bomb. This was one of them.

“Of course not, Liu. I don’t want that to happen either.”

“You had that scenario pretty thought out.”

“This time, Liu? You’re the one overthinking things.”

“Maybe.” He watched out the window, but you felt his thumb brush over the back of your hand. Looking at the night sky was easier than looking at each other. But right now the night sky looked empty. You didn’t see the stars. Just the lights of busy Los Angeles, a thing which brought you no peace. “Do you think you’ll still be this cute in thirty years?”

“I uh…” You laughed and pretended to consider it. “I didn’t think about it. For the brief moment I considered this make-believe scenario, you were still cute.” You joked and nudged him playfully.

“You’re beautiful Y/N, so I’m sure you will be too.” Liu still didn’t look at you. “I always thought so. Even when I used to tease you.” You rolled your eyes at him in disgust and he laughed again. You were well beyond being bashful at his compliments.

“Cut it out, Liu.”

“I just don’t want to leave it unsaid.”

“It feels like you’re trying to butter me up.” You narrowed your eyes in suspicion.

“Maybe. Or… perhaps this last week I’ve been cruel to you. I thought that I’d pay you a compliment instead.” That was as good an excuse as any. You had dug at each other quite a bit the past few days.

“I’m not vain.”

“I know. I always liked that about you.”

“Stop it, Liu. You’re freaking me out.” You laughed and shoved at his shoulder.

“I won’t.” He leaned back on one arm. You reached for your phone on the bed behind you as it buzzed. Jax had verified the location online as legitimate. He’d even found out that the property belonged to Johnny. Apparently, Jax had been much more suspicious of him than you had been. You’d decided to trust Johnny. And if he lied to you then you’d just go to plan B. Kidnapping. Jax continued on to say that he’s pretty sure the asshole just wanted to show off his beach house. You chuckled. You’d thought the same thing. You replied quickly to ask if you were still to meet in the morning in the same place. Jax replied to be in the lobby by ten. “Going off without a hitch?”

“Are you spying on my conversation?” You cradled the phone protectively against your chest and pouted.

“I didn’t mean to.” You set the phone aside face up. You had nothing to hide anyway, you’d just been trying to lighten the mood. Then you watched the dark sky out the window and tried to find something positive to say about it. He was right. You’d had too much unpleasantness lately. “Kung Lao would have loved…”

“Do you think about that a lot? What Kung Lao would have thought or felt?”

“Don’t you?” You thought that was obvious. “We spent most of our time together. This is the longest I’ve been alone in years.”

“I… hadn’t considered that.” Liu’s eyes fell to the floor. There was plenty that you hadn’t thought regarding each other. “It must have been hard waking up next to me.” You sighed heavily. There were those difficult conversations you couldn’t seem to avoid. You didn’t know how to respond. That wasn’t an easy answer. If you could have lied and said it wasn’t weird than it would have been simpler. But lying had gotten you into this in the first place and you didn’t want to lie. You were so tired of hurting.

“I… yes.” You sighed and then closed your eyes tight. “But I confess that I miss being held.” You hated saying it and even got the chills as you did. You and Kung Lao had spent most nights at least next to each other if not tangled up in each other. Liu was watching you with those big sad puppy dog eyes of his again. “But I also feel selfish and awful for having briefly thought it was nice.”

“It’s okay to be selfish at times.” He clasped his hands together in his lap, as if nervous they would betray him as they had often done. “I confess that when I woke up alone, I panicked.” You smiled a little. You hadn’t considered that he would be upset to wake up alone after falling asleep next to you. Oh, boy. You were both a mess. “But then I remembered this was your room and you had nowhere to run, really.”

“Did you briefly consider that I was so dedicated to running away that I went and got another hotel room to avoid you?”

“No.” He laughed and then furrowed his brow as if trying to picture you doing that. “You didn’t consider that, did you?”

“Of course not.” You chuckled, resting your elbows on your knees. “The phone rang and I didn’t want to wake you. That’s about as far as I had thought.” Your head was pounding and you realized all at once that you were clenching your jaw. Ugh, tension headache. “At least this time I woke up with all of my clothes on.” Liu laughed softly and avoided your eyes. Then he laughed harder as if he’d just gotten the joke. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s kind of like déjà vu, isn’t it? You woke up next to me again and then I woke up alone.”

“You know, Liu, I’m trying, but that’s not funny.”

Still he laughed and you watched him in disbelief. Was it you? Were you the one cracking up?

“I have to laugh, Y/N. I have to or I think about how screwed up it is.” He leaned back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. His face fell. You turned to watch him in disbelief and your stomach twisted up into knots. “I just couldn’t help myself, could I? I had to… cross that line.”

“Liu…” You didn’t want to fight again. You thought you had made a truce for the day.

“I have to say this, Y/N.” He turned his head to the side to look at you and you leaned on your side to better meet his eyes. They were so sad and it was killing you. “The woman that Kung Lao planned to spend the rest of his life with. Only a little while after he’s gone and I just… how selfish I am.” You searched his troubled eyes and then couldn’t help but laugh but you weren’t smiling either. Liu knit his brow in confusion.

“Liu, I… I said the same things to myself.” You offered a sympathetic smile but he didn’t seem relieved to hear that. “Not about you, obviously. I don’t think I’ve ever used the word selfish when describing you, really. Or at least meant it. Maybe out of anger… but I… how could I? Kung Lao’s best friend. His brother. I feel like I just lost him and I still, somehow, couldn’t manage to keep myself together well enough not to sleep with you.”

“Sometimes we’re a lot alike.”

“Most times it feels like we’re oil and water.” Now you avoided his eyes, afraid of what yours might reveal to him. “I’m sorry that I ran off that morning, Liu. I panicked. I didn’t know what else to do. I was terrified and embarrassed and ashamed and… the idea of having to talk to you about it was too much.”

“Why were you so scared?” He turned on his side to face you, as if eager for this answer, as if he had been caught wondering that same thing for too long. “I know it was a… big thing but I…”

“I guess no matter how I played it in my head, it went wrong. You uh…” You were having a difficult time saying the words without getting upset. “I kept picturing us having to find a way to… be okay with… it being a mistake because… I…” You were frustrated with yourself for not being able to say it. “It felt like a mistake. Like we’d fallen into an old habit. Or that it was just… a transaction and I couldn’t hear those words again after everything. I was already falling apart and I don’t know what that would have done to me. And then… you being receptive to it would have been just as painful… I… Kung Lao…” You had to stop there. You were pretty sure you’d made your point.

“I think I get it.” His eyes were taking you in while yours were avoiding him and were most likely glassy with tears. “Maybe I didn’t consider how much I’d hurt you back then. It never crossed my mind until you brought it back up and I realized the damage I’d done. I hadn’t considered myself that important.” There was that similarity again. Neither one of you thought yourselves to be important to the other when it was far from the truth. “I wish I’d had a say in the matter that morning.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I understand now.” He sat up and offered you a hand to help your back up too. you took it and sat up with him but he didn’t let go of your hand. “I’m sorry too. I’m sorry that I reacted so angrily. That I was so cold to you. I thought it might make things easier and put distance between us.”

“Did it work?”

“No. No, it didn’t. I wish, more than anything, that I could go back.” His eyes were dripping with sincerity and you avoided his gaze again. You couldn’t help but think that if this had been Kung Lao, you never would have had this conversation. Nothing ever would have gotten resolved. You had both avoided your emotions like the plague.

“To that morning? Hard pass, Liu.”

“Think about it. I could wake up with you. Keep you from running. We could talk.”

“That’s a fantasy, Liu. It wouldn’t have ended the way you want.” You threw him an accusatory glance. “You’re fantasizing. I was too panicked. I would have lashed out.”

“And maybe I could have kept a level head.”

“It’s a fantasy.”

“Let me have my fantasy, Y/N.” He laughed and gave your hand a squeeze. His smile faded as he let go of your hand and closed some of the distance between you. Your instinct was to pull back but you didn’t. He pushed your hair away from your face and tucked it behind your ear. The loose strands of your long hair tickled your neck as they fell back into place. You turned your gaze away. His hand was warm as it rested on your cheek and you could feel him admiring you.

“Seems dangerous to let you.”

“Many good things can be dangerous, Y/N,” he whispered. You got the shivers and moistened your lips nervously. You should have moved back when you’d wanted to. You were so much closer than you’d realized and his lips brushed just against yours. He was going to kiss you and you knew what would happen. Tender kisses led to feverish kisses. No kiss between you had ever stayed just that. You had never once exchanged a soft, momentary kiss. Every single time you had wound up in his arms. His lips would treasure yours like they were something priceless and yours would tease his in return to make him want more. Then you’d be naked.

The more time you spent this close to Liu the more inevitable it seemed to wind up in his bed and you weren’t sure that was the right thing. You weren’t sure it wouldn’t destroy you. It was a dangerous way to think but he was right too. Many of the best things were often dangerous.

“Don’t.” You managed and caught his eyes, half-lidded and admiring your lips. His gaze snapped back up to yours and you watched as he took a careful breath. You could feel it against your lips. He was thinking it too. How dangerous this had become.

“Probably a bad idea, right?” His voice was low and just for you.

“An incredibly bad idea.” You tried to joke but your words fell flat. It was miserable being this close to him and not kissing him, against every instinct in your body. You could feel as he ran his tongue over his lower lip, as he weighed the pros and cons of defying you. You held your breath.

Then he scooted back a few inches. You felt like you could suddenly breathe, like the air was less thick than it had been so close to him. Your heart was hammering away and it was a headrush, as if to punish you for having wanted that kiss. You cleared your throat and put more distance between you. But try as you might, you couldn’t stop thinking about those marks you’d left on his back that you had so clearly felt earlier. Did he think of how you’d clung to him in passion every time he shifted and felt those scabs? That was truly a dangerous thought.

“It’s late. I should go.” He had turned away, but his eyes were wide and his breath was short, as though he were also fighting dangerous thoughts.

“Yeah. Good idea.” You got up and walked past him and around the bed. He followed you and then walked past you to the door. Then he bowed politely.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He looked hesitant, as if he were still considering crossing that line again.

“Get out, Liu.” You gestured to the door behind him, making the choice for him. He laughed and did just as you asked. Once he’d gone, you leaned against the door with a thud and whined. “What am I doing?” You closed your eyes tight and felt a wave of guilt weigh you down. Then you flipped the swing bar lock shut on the door as if this would provide you with protection from your stupid feelings.

Maybe you had to reconsider the situation.

Maybe this was inevitable.

Maybe guilt wasn’t enough to keep you from being attracted to Liu Kang.

It felt wrong. It felt like you were betraying Kung Lao. It was too soon and you were too broken. But maybe someday it wouldn’t be those things. You weren’t sure how long either one of you could wait either. Spending the afternoon with Liu had been eye opening.

Next Chapter >>

[pa-panda-heroes]

im the same anon who sent the pro-hero + league thing and dabi, shiggy, toga 🥺💞💖💖 thank you, lovely.

Enjoy, anoni!! I’m realising my scenarios are aren’t really scenarios, are they?

Strict!Pro-hero!reader being seduced by Dabi, Tomura, and Himiko!

Warning: N/S/FW content. Minors, do NOT interact. Seriously! This is no place for you. (Edit: that means a anyone under 18. That’s the threshold I’ve seen others use, so I’m sticking it’s that.) Note: there are individual warnings for each character so that you know what you’re about to read ^v^b

Dabi:

Warnings- adult content, thigh riding, biting, edging, alcohol mention, swearing

To say that you were known for being cool-headed and strict was a major understatement. You weren’t as popular as All Might, but those who knew you understood you to be a hero who, no matter how any villain taunted or insulted you, was concrete and unbending to their childish games. You went by the book and rarely made exceptions.

And then Dabi entered the picture. Cynical, rough, sardonic as hell, and quite the lawbreaker - and flirt. He’d stir some trouble in the streets, and then dip out when things got sketchy for him. In the midst of doing so, he’d always send some nasty smirk and comment your way. “Some nice legs you got there, doll. They’d look nicer above your head, though,” was his favorite; or perhaps it was your response he vied for so much. Because boy, you wanted to respond. You couldn’t deny the selfish gratification that came of his antics, knowing someone didn’t treat you as a gripey, square of a woman.

But that was the last thought on your mind as you sauntered through an alleyway on your walk home from having harmless fun with your fellow heroes. You hadn’t drank a sip, afraid of trouble spurring and hence your being called in. Your focus was fixated on your phone in your hand as you read the text one of your coworkers sent you.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes, babe,” you suddenly hear, and instantly recognize the bastard of a voice. And instantly you feel that familiar throbbing at your core at the sound of it.

You look up from your phone, stone-faced as always, and try to resist the urge to scowl at him. You fail, though. He’s standing not far from you with his hands in his pockets, but it doesn’t look like this encounter was intended. “Don’t call me that,” you warn shakily, only for his smirk to widen and show off his teeth before he closes the gap between you. You elect to swing a fist at him but miss entirely before a blur flashes over your vision and your back hits the hard brick of the alley.

“Why not? We both know you enjoy it,” he snickers, his forearm across the front of your shoulders, his left hand occupied with pinning your wrist to the wall and knee stuck in-between yours. “If you really meant that punch, I wouldn’t have been able to dodge it, right?”

Right.

He even left your other hand free to prove his point.

Your breath is heavy and fluttered as he leans closer. You said nothing, but the fact that your wrist was relaxed in his hold told him everything. You see him smirk again, thereafter his arm leaves your chest so that he could put his thumb under your chin, the rest of his fingers splayed out on your jaw and you gulp. Your eyes fall half-lidded when he leans in close, but he quickly pushes your head back and veers off to the side to suckle at your neck, earning a quiet whine from you. Dabi acknowledges it with an eerie chuckle, to which you nearly respond with suspect before a cry leaves your lips at the sensation of teeth gnashing at your collarbone, the feeling of his chin staples rolling over your skin surprisingly heavenly. He resorts back to suckling and you’re sure he’s leaving at least a few hickies, but you’re too wrapped up in his hands fondling your hips and ass to care. They’re so warm, it’s ecstatic. He’s sweltering hot, unlike the cool wetness settling between your legs.

“Aah, Dabi...!”

You can’t help the whine of your lips or buck of your hips, nor the yelp that results when you unintentionally grind your throbbing core against his thigh. Dabi pulls off of your neck with a pop before he grabs your hips with both hands to pull you closer, encouraging you to ride his thigh. “My leg, ah?” he breathes, his voice more curious than either of you would admit. He leans in towards your ear, hot breath sending a chill down your spine. “Go on, do it,” he demands, his voice a whisper. “Lift that skirt and cum on my thigh, doll.”

You shut your eyes tight and moan at such a filthy command, his husky voice a contributor. Dabi’s too impatient with you to let you move your skirt out of the way as he does it himself, his returned grip on your hips surely to bruise them. You’re able to look down as he guides you, and there’s a clear streak of wetness soaking his pant leg. You shiver at the sight of your arousal, and again when he reaches to move your panties out of the way to let you grind bare against his jeans. You stare at the sight, not having it in you to look away. He must’ve followed your graze, his chest rumbling with a chuckle as you begin to cry out and moan louder. Dabi’s tongue is awfully quick to find and lick at your ear, while his teeth occasionally gnaw at it and pull. You were so pent up, even after a night of fun, it was no surprise your climax was already catching up to you. Your pace gets faster and faster, until that tightened coil-

Doesn’t snap. Dabi retreated his thigh from you and grabs your jaw to force you to look at his simper, earning a pout from you. “Aw, c’mon. Don’t make that face,” he taunts.

“You didn’t really think that’d be it, did you, babe?”

Tomura:

Warnings- adult content, spanking, swearing, orgasm denial

Being an infamously stoic hero had its perks. No one expected you to goof off on talk shows or crack a corny joke in interviews. Everyone liked that you weren’t careless and rambunctious; it just suited you not to be. A downside was being viewed as a “strict, rule-hungry old bag,” though. And you weren’t even old! But because you took being a hero seriously and followed rules, it gave you a public opinion not far off from Endeavor’s.

Getting on the trail of the leader of the League of Villains was a royal pain in the ass, much less staying there. It didn’t help that he seemed to take a special interest in you. There was always a hungry look in his eyes when you faced off, and nearly every time it felt like he’d planned the encounter as if to merely get a glimpse of you.

It wasn’t something you hated. This game of cat and mouse was exhilarating. Constant. Safe. It was a release. The more it happened, the more you thought it was the same way for him.

That theory was confirmed in its entirety when he randomly showed up in your apartment and looked at you as if he’d waited a significant amount of time. On you. You freeze in place after shutting your door, your bag of groceries still in hand as he stares at you from the couch. The silence that falls is thick, and not entirely uncomfortable, but it is unwelcome. You walk over to the kitchen area and set the bag atop the counter, before turning around to see Tomura standing right in front of you, the lack of hands adorning his body confusing you. “Why... are you here?” you ask hesitantly, noting the unconscious clenching of your thighs.

“You wouldn’t make a damn move, so I had to.”

His answer was simple and dry, and you begin to wonder if that meant anything other than what you wanted it to. His intentions are clear when he approaches further, backing you into the counter and caging you with an arm on each side. Tomura just stares at you. It was your turn. That’s how your little game went. And so you jolted forward, latching onto his lips with your own. Your dominance is short-lived, though, as he deepens the kiss when you yelp from his hand smacking against the side of your thigh, his tongue invading your mouth. Tomura’s hands are quick to snake up your shirt and paw at your uncovered breasts, the villain then smirking at the realization that you weren’t wearing a bra while he chuckles at your moan. His fingers pinch your hardening nubs, resulting in your pulling back from his lips and mewling.

His breaths are getting heavy, as are yours. Tomura grabs your arm and spins you around so that your backside is facing him, your ass end poking out at him when he grabs your head and pushes down to bend you over the counter. You glance back at him, but your focus is broken when you feel his hardened cock against your ass. Your whine only encourages him to briskly unbuckle your pants and pull them down, and you half-expect him to grind against you again - but he doesn’t. You begin to push back against him, albeit a hand on the small of your back lunges you forward and you scramble to get a grip on the counter beneath you. Hard to do that on a flat, smooth surface.

“Funny, you’re such a stickler about rules, and yet here you are, trying to make your own,” he jeers, and you swallow thickly. “You can follow a command, can’t you, hero?”

You gulp again and try to writhe in place, only to shriek when a hand lands sharp on your ass cheek as his other hand digs into your back. “Can’t you?” he repeats, and the feeling of your cunt clenching practically resounds throughout your body. You’re soaked, it’s clear. You pant instead of responding, almost sounding like a bitch in heat before another slap sounds against your reddening asscheek and you moan aloud, earning yourself yet another.

“I can!” you nearly scream, white-hot tears prickling the corners of your eyes - either from the pleasure, or the pain, you’re not sure.

“Don’t cum.”

You gasp and glance back at him, lips agape as you felt the pulling down of your panties. All you can see is those dark, red eyes glaring at you like a predator about to devour its prey.

Himiko:

Warnings- adult content, mentions of stalking, biting, oral, slight knife use (your poor panties), swearing, home... invasion?

Note- I’m not sure how old Toga is. Granted that she wears a school uniform and she crushes on Izuku, I’m setting her age to 20 here because I’m really not sure.

Being stalked by villains is not something you’re unfamiliar with. Being called a stone-faced, soulless shell of of a woman is not something you’re unfamiliar with either, a result of the public eye constantly fixated on you. On the contradictory, a grown ass villain flirting with your austere being was something you were quite unused to. Toga Himiko of the League of Villains was always hot on your trail, quick to retreat when noticed yet quick to notice you first. The smile that would crack her lips open was clearly meant for you and for you alone, always used as a flirtatious taunt. It wasn’t uncommon for you to track her down and chase after her, nor was it uncommon for her to track you down and leap after you.

Your game of push-and-pull had been on for a while. She was always so quick to escape no matter the situation, and you couldn’t for the life of you figure out how she did it. Nor could you figure out how the hell she got into your apartment. While you were there. Granted, you were asleep, but still...

She grins at you again in your bedroom doorway, that grin you know well, and seems to fiddle with the belt loop at her shorts, having long since abandoned the school girl schtick. It only worked for so long anyway. “Y/n-chan,” she beams, nearly drooling. “I had a nightmare, can I sleep with you tonight?” Her voice is sweet and lilted, and for a split second you believe her. She still had that sweet and harmless-looking appearance despite being a hardened villain. You lick your lips almost unconsciously, which she takes as an invitation to your bed, except she yanks your bedding off of you unceremoniously to replace it with her body as she straddles your hips.

You stare at her, your hands instinctively going for the sides of her thighs, with which she seems quite pleased as she squeaks at you. “You look so small down there, hero,” she mutters, her grin ear-to-ear. “So cuuute!” Her eyes then narrow almost darkly at you and she cocks her head sideways. “So quiet. Are you still sleepy, hm?”

Her thighs are so plump and sweet that you gulp underneath her while wondering what she’d taste like, but she shakes her head at you. “No, not tonight, lovey.” Himiko leans down and lunges her tongue into your open mouth, your moans mixing together as she does so, albeit yours increases in volume when she palms your breast through your shirt and squeezes before flicking her finger at your hardening nipple. The villain pulls away from you too quickly, sitting up so briskly your head almost spins, as she ignores the trail of saliva that follows. Her hips are adjusted atop you before she grabs the hem of your shirt and brings it up to your mouth. You catch on immediately and comply, biting the fabric into place as she goes to town kissing and licking your sternum between your tits. Golden, sharp eyes never leave yours in the moment, and her mouth feels hot against your skin as you moan. Her groping at your legs only serves to make you more vocal.

The bloodthirsty woman travels down your navel, yet goes right past where you want her most, while your whine is punctuated by the bucking of your hips. Himiko instead elects to suckle at your hip and upper thigh, before she parts your legs and settles between them. You jolt a little as she licks a stripe up your thigh until her tongue is a finger’s width away from the throbbing wetness between your legs. She giggles at your response, then landing a quick, tiny bite on your thigh before licking her lips. You don’t realise you’ve reached out to grab the top of her head and pulled it toward you until you feel the softness of her hair underneath your fingertips and another giggle escapes her. Himiko’s tongue pokes out from her lips as she pulls a knife from her belt to shred away at the hip of your panties before pulling them down to give her access to your throbbing clit.

Her tongue is quick to prod at your hole, then dragging up towards your clit before her lips are around it and sucking away. You cry out as a result, hips bucking again as your free hand clutches the bedsheet beneath you. You hear what sounds like a growl come from Himiko’s throat, then watch as her arms hook around your legs and hold your hips down. The sweat starting to coat your skin keeps her from getting a decent grip, so she uses force while her tongue dips into you and pokes around with her thumb rubbing at your swollen, puffy clit.

“Toga-chan-!”

Your whining out her name encourages her thumb to rub circles and increase its pace, Himiko finally letting out her own moan into your soaked cunt as her tongue begins to lick and suck away. Your grip on the sheets tightens until your knuckles are white, your mantra of moans music to her ears. Until suddenly, she pulls away, your essence coating her lips and practically dripping down her chin.

“Y/n-chan,” she says almost darkly, with the look in her eyes making your cunt clench around nothing, “you can’t cum yet.”

[break-slash]

Puzzleship JP & KR Fancomic Recommendation List

UPDATE (19-12-2020): Added two more artists and two more titles on the Japanese lists!

I don’t consider myself as someone very tidy and organized, but I just like making lists of the things I love, somehow. Hence this post. I haven’t been in the fandom for long but I thought I’d share some of my favorites primarily from two sites: pixiv and postype. Most of the postype ones are behind paywall, and I will mark them differently.

Some of my favorites come from the same artists, so I’ll also link their pixiv profile on top of my favorite work of them.

(I actually bookmarked a lot and picking them isn’t an easy task, so I will update this step by step. If you see only a link of an artist, that’s the reason, but I can guarantee you will love their works! Feel free to recommend me yours through reblogs or DM as well!)

Japanese

Artist: CYHGM

She is a Chinese and is more active on Weibo (she posted tons of puzzleship there, but my Mandarin is beyond rusty so I could only cry in despair lmao), but she has two fancomics that I absolutely adore of. Those two mentioned fancomics are:

The Past and The Future. You can check my translation for this one here. It tells about Atem who gets transported to 3000 years later before his coronation, and that’s where he met post-canon!Yugi. Just... everything about this comic is so wonderful. I teared up at the last page, not gonna lie ;_;

The Pharaoh and The Fairy: An Ancient Egypt-slash-fantasy AU featuring the S0/TOEI casts. The fairy Yugi was saved by Atem, and it’s an obligatory for fairies to grant their savior’s wishes. However, Atem doesn’t exactly have something he wants of, and this confuses Yugi on how he should repay him back. Pure undiluted sugar, and fairy!Yugi is just so cute.

Artist: Fushitas

Arguably one of the most popular Puzzleship fanartists in the JP fandom (look at their number of followers on Twitter, man), but maybe it’s also due to the fact they were in AoT fandom too. They’re mostly active on Twitter, and if you also watch Zexal, they draw tons of Yuma-centric pairings too. They have released lots of books, and their prices on the reseller sites are... well, let’s just say, unbelievable. Just to show how famous they are. 

From everlasting to everlasting: Set after DSOD. A mysterious figure appears in front of Atem, claiming to be his queen. Everyone in the after life somehow acknowledges this person, which makes him even more confused because he’s the only one unaware of this. On the living realm, Yugi who is on the way to his home got hit by a truck (isekai much??) and when he woke up, he suddenly plays the role of Atem’s queen. I’ve always adored Fushitas’ drawing, and this is no exception. The story is pretty simple, but is still good! The ending of this comic is everything I’ve always wanted from the canon lol. 

The King’s Guest: Ancient Egypt AU. The councils are starting to get worried because Atem shows no interest in marrying someone, so Shimon opens up a “chance” sort of for civilians to become “someone for the Pharaoh to talk with”. The civilian Yugi takes this chance right off the bat, and stuff happens? This one is just so sweet and the misunderstanding later in the story kinda cracks me up. I really love the way they build the two’s chemistry in here.

Artist: usi 

They only draw two puzzleship fancomics, but both are so good and explores the themes I’ve loved from the pairing.

The Lotus’ Devil: Set post-canon with a flashback. It tells about Yugi’s regret in the past where he wanted to show Atem a small pool supposed to be full of lotus flower only to arrive seeing them not blooming. Fast forward to the post-canon, he found out that there’s actually a monster residing on that pool. I really, really loved the ending scene of this one.

Who’s The Detestable, Fortunate Guy Here: I think this is set sometime in the canon story, although the exact timing is unclear. It’s a short comic of Yugi asking Atem to pretend to be his date and go on a “dating practice”. A very pleasant hurt-and-comfort kind of story, and who doesn’t love a story of them dating anyways? :”D

Artist: Houzuki Anzu

She doesn’t draw much YGO, but she has some Arc-V and 5D’s fanarts too if you watch the series! 

Hourglass: Sets after the Memory World arc. Yugi keeps hearing a strange sound inside his mind, and he finds out there’s a huge hourglass standing there, guarded by the will of Millenium Puzzle. Apparently, the hourglass is linked to Atem’s remaining time in the living realm? Anyways, the ending of this comic might look like a cliffhanger, but I personally think it isn’t. I love the theme this comic picks to explore and the way it is presented.

Present: Same setting with Hourglass, but this one focuses more on Atem sorting out his feelings about the Ceremonial Duel and what he has learned from Yugi in general. It’s a very nice extra detail that the canon slightly lacks of, and I just love... bittersweet stuff in general haha.

Artist: Chiriko

Are you the type who wants puzzleship to be full of happiness and fluff and nothing else? Well, she has a number of comics to fill that need! I actually love all of her works, but if I have to pick, these two are my favorite:

...Don’t Ever Leave Me Again: A short story about Yugi having a nightmare of where he was stuck in the fire accident at Otogi’s store. Well... this isn’t a fluff sort of, but it’s... a happy ending still? /shot

[Untitled]: A dialogue-less comic, but this is the sort of post-canon what-if that I really, really like. Atem stroking Yugi’s face while sleeping is just... so soft man....

Artist: Komori Nea

Their art style was one of those that’s very noticeable and has a certain charm on it. They are pretty active on Twitter, and even draws puzzle comics once in a while that haven’t been uploaded to pixiv (which is why I recommend you to check their twitter gallery too haha)

The Soul Stays Awake: Post!DSOD. Atem comes back from afterlife in hoping that Yugi would be as happy as he is, but months after, Atem’s existence still hasn’t been registered on Yugi’s life just yet. Another post!DSOD take that I like which involves the fear of another farewell and uncertainty, but this is a good hurt-and-comfort. I swear, it’ll hurt you just... for a while. :”)

The Attack’s Aim: Set during the canon series. A short comic mostly portraying Yugi’s hidden strength but also the tenacity of duelist that is not only targeted toward the opponent, but also to Atem, without the person actually noticing it. The last page of this one is so... soft and gentle I had to put it into this list.

Artist: caf

Often draw with S0/TOEI style, characters and characterization in mind. Their coloring in illustrations is so soft, plus artists who specialize in S0/TOEI style can’t be found so easily. Their comic style is not a manga-like one and they write the dialogues with handwriting, but if you can read hiragana and write and understand how kanji works (so you can write it on translation machine), their comics are easy to understand!

magenta: S0/TOEI AU where Yugi and Atem are two separate person. A short comic of Yugi lying under the rain as Atem searches for his whereabouts. I really love the way they portray the rain and the atmosphere surrounding the scene. Or maybe I’m just biased with rains in general, ahahaha.

Yuugi and Mao’s Stay Home: Same AU as above. Our two boys has to face the same shit we do IRL in this comic, which is quarantine. Atem offers to cook something for Yugi since he can’t eat outside. You love seeing Yugi eating stuff? This is a perfect comic for y’all. 

Artist: Kkyut

Artist: Kayu(i)

Others:

Gemini: As Atem comes back to the living world, Yugi faces the dilemma of having being separated by “his other self” physically and mentally. A short comic, but the lines the artist used are so... beautiful. Like, the way they describe Yugi’s loneliness?? Just hits the park so much. 

Until The Hourglass Runs Out: Set after the Memory World Arc. As their farewell day goes closer, Yugi decides to give Atem a full control of his body at school so he could spend his time with Jounouchi and the gang more. However, things don’t go as smooth as Yugi had expected. If you like that little teeny weeny pain before the Ceremonial Duel, this comic perfectly suits the taste. 

see you sometime: Post-canon. Mahaad offers Atem a chance to meet Yugi in the living realm one more time, but with several conditions. Firstly, he could only stay for a day at maximum. Secondly, Yugi won’t be able to remember who he spent his time with after Atem hangs out with him. Thirdly, Yugi will not be able to “recognize” this Atem; he will only be registered in Yugi’s mind as a new classmate. A bittersweet comic in whole, but seeing the two having fun like a normal teenager would just makes me grin.

After The Rain: A dialogue-less comic, so everyone would be able to read this right away. A short comic of the two, but still very cute and wholesome!

The Tropics of Horus: Post!DSOD, Atem has to chase Kisara who lingers around Kaiba’s soul and he needs Yugi’s help to bring Kisara back to afterlife, but he has his own ulterior motive. This manga is so dialogue-heavy and might be hard to dissect especially if you don’t understand JP grammar and context, but the time spent trying to understand the meaning behind every words will be worth it. That much I guarantee. Just... everything about this comic, and how Atem’s “ulterior motive” connects to our boys’ adventure in canon series are so well planned. You can also purchase the R18 version in a form of the book here (toranoana)

Christmas Day: S0/TOEI puzzleship hint (dark puzzle???). There’s something in store for Yugi in Christmas, but this one might surprise Yugi a lot. It’s not that the prompt of “Atem gets separated from Yugi temporarily” is uncommon, but it is still a sweet one and makes you smile throughout the pages. 

Korean

All titles mentioned here are not free unless mentioned otherwise. Also I don’t understand Korean except being able to read Yugi and Atem’s name, so my story interpretation might be wrong. If you understand Korean, I’d really love for you input! ;_; 

You can check out on how to buy comics from postype here

Yugi’s 2020 Birthday Anthology: Rain and After End

This is an anthology consisting of four titles, but they share the same (or similar) setting where Atem is reincarnated, but he doesn’t remember his past (or has not yet, depending on how the story portrays it). Some are age-gap (adult!Yugi and high school student!Atem), so you might want to consider that if it’s not your cup of tea.

To Like Someone is to...: Age-gap setting. Mostly tells about how Yugi deals with his feeling as the reincarnated Atem in front of him turns out to have a feeling on him. I like how the story’s conclusion is that Yugi will sort it out slowly while also teasing Atem how he’s “too early” to date Yugi w.

In A Circle: A story about how the two met through an online chess game. Iirc Yugi works in a game company and Atem is sort of a famous e-sports player in this setting. There’s a lot of dialogue in this one and the app sometimes can’t process them very well, but I liked what I can understand from it! not very convincing is it haha i’m sorry i shouldn’t have done this

Familiarity: Age-gap setting, where Yugi becomes Atem’s caretaker. The comic mostly focuses on how Atem notices how kind (or too kind) Yugi is sometimes, but there are times where he feels distant. The plot where Atem gets into a fight with the other kid in his school because the kid mocks Yugi, and how Yugi just... accepts it even when Atem doesn’t want to say his reason of punching the kid is just.... god... I love this kind of age-gap setting like this I guess ;_;

Touchdown: Age-gap setting, but Atem is older in here (university student). The two goes to Atem’s university festival and they think about their own feeling when they got separated. On their way to drop Atem off, he confesses to Yugi, but Yugi is still unsure on his overlapping feeling between the reincarnated Atem and the Atem he knows. Make sure you play Motohiro Hata’s Rain and Aimer’s After Rain during the car scene to make the “rain” mood works even better :”)

Others:

Try For Point: A continuation of Touchdown, where Atem (like, the one from the past) visits Yugi in his dream and helps Yugi in sorting out is his feeling toward his reincarnated self. Atem’s advice is so sweet and there’s one certain line from this comic that I remember very deeply - there’s a part where he says, “If you don’t pull out the card, you won’t know what card it is, right?” to help Yugi clearing out his hesitancy ;w; at this point, I curse myself for not being able to understand Korean

[herewithstupid]

Whewwwwww, was reminded of one of my LEAST favorite forms of manipulation today.

Gonna talk about my grandpa for a moment. I come from a relatively middle class family- not ‘wealthy’, but grandparents helped make sure that we never really struggled for much unless my parents pride was on the line. Now my grandpa was the type that loved giving gifts/money. I learned really quickly not to ask for anything, because if I did, I would get it.

“Seems like a strange problem to have, Stu,” I hear you saying. “Your grandpa wanted to spoil you? Isn’t that a luxury most people wish they had?”

Honestly yeah, of the problems out there like, idk, getting arrested for things out of my control or not being able to afford food- this REALLY is a luxury, first world ‘problem’. So please take my complaints with a relative grain of salt. The main problem came from my inability to accept gifts or express needs for a long time because of this.

See, the definition of a gift is “a thing given willingly to someone without payment”. Payment is not always in the form of money- I may pay someone for a car repair for example by offering an exchange and repairing their carpet. Payment can come in the form of work, money, action, etc. 

So in actuality, my grandpa never gave me ‘gifts’, because they did not come with no strings attached. Money is how he pulled the strings and maintained control in our relatively unhealthy family while maintaining a nice outward view for the world. Guilt trips, bribes- when I went to college, he tried essentially buying his way into my bank account and having me give him the password so that he could keep track of my spending. Gas cards were given with the intention of tracking where I was going. I’ve been screamed at over the phone because he helped me with a home repair- and then I acted ‘out of line’. There were attempts to discourage me from self-sufficiency and “not to worry, he would take care of me”.

Down the line, this led to an inherent mistrust of any gift, whether it be from friend, significant others... basically anyone unless it was completely anonymous and no way to know who the person was- because an anonymous person can’t hold it over my head. I still have a rather bitter belief in my heart that “nothing is truly free”- which really is an excuse to try to close my heart and make out the world as my enemy, when it really comes down to taking an active role in whole I let into my life and maintaining boundaries. A recognition that the world isn’t good or evil- that there are just sick people in it. 

And while the examples I used with my grandpa are obviously extreme- the point of this is the same. If your ‘gift’ can be taken back at any time, if your gift has strings attached, if your gift comes with expectations, then you have no right calling that thing a gift.

This form of manipulation is popular because it does two things. One, it strokes the ego of the person giving the ‘gift’. They get to feel charitable, get to build this narration in their head of being kind hearted, a great friend/family member/lover, selfless and thoughtful, while ignoring their true, less kind intentions. 

My grandpa has control issues, likely stemming from fear (like most defects do). In a life he felt out of control in, where he knew best how everyone should act if they would just do what they were supposed to, this gave the ability for him to gain control over the people in his life. If they were to reject it, it seems ungrateful. It gave him the ability to paint himself as the misunderstood, generous soul- when really all it came down to was making sure a person felt an obligation to ‘act’ how he believed they should and to be able to guilt a person when they stepped out of line of what he believed they should be doing.

And people do this. All. The. Time.

So,

For those of you who have had this happen to you- you should not feel guilty. You are not responsible for a sick person’s actions. And I’m using ‘sick’, because I don’t think lots of people are ‘evil’. I think they are people who don’t know how to cope with the world around them, and are attempting to stay afloat by whatever means they have, even if it means hurting those in their immediate sphere. And if you realize they’ve been manipulating you like this, you have every right to feel hurt, disgusted, violated- all of it. 

For what it’s worth, as some small comfort, they very rarely are doing it ‘at’ you, even if it seems like it. Yes they may intentionally hurt you. But they do this to everyone, because this behavior is all they have. A person who’s only tool is a hammer will use the hammer- even if it destroys the very foundation and network supporting them. And they will be upset at the support network for breaking- because in their mind, what other choice did they have if that was their only tool?

And honestly for everyone, I encourage taking a step back and pausing before you give someone something. Check your expectations. Pause and really consider what you are hoping to accomplish. If it’s to receive something- whether it be a favor, emotional support, validation, a check to be cashed in later, then pause and think about WHY.

I am guilty of this years ago. I would do favors and over-extend myself as a ‘friend’, because in reality, I couldn’t support myself and I wanted to build a safety net of people that felt obligated to take care of me. Understandably, these friends of mine did not like feeling manipulated, and distanced themselves as they should have. It fed into my woe-is-me martyr syndrome of how I was this amazing person that no one understood, and how no one in the world really understood me. 

What are you so afraid of that you have to try to use people in your life and control them in an attempt to protect yourself? 

Because so long as your ‘good’ actions are tainted with attempts to manipulate people in your own self interest, you’ll find your ‘kind’ actions blowing up in your face. I consider it like a Midas’s touch. You’ll sit and wonder why no one wants to be your friend- without acknowledging that your friendship caused more harm than good. It’s not your responsibility to change a person to how you think they ‘should’ be. 

Only to decide whether or not you can accept them exactly as they are on their own journey (wherever that is), and how much of that person you want to allow into your life. The only person you should work on changing and manipulating into a ‘better’ person, is yourself. 

And when it comes to giving gifts, and honestly, interacting with people in general, give only what you can live without having replaced. 

And my personal motto that I’ve always felt better living by: Give without remembering, and receive without forgetting.

[snkpolls]

SnK Episode 68 Poll Results (for Manga Readers)

The poll closed with 146 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results for the Manga Readers’ poll. If you wish to see the results for the Anime Only Watchers’ poll, click here.

---

RATE THE EPISODE 140 Responses

The anime continues its positive streak with just over 90% of respondents rating the episode a 4 or 5. MAPPA appears to be blowing this season out of the water for most of us!

Noice

Good!

I liked it

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 144 Responses

We got a pretty mixed pie chart this week. To be expected, given how many moments were in this episode. At a tie with the largest pieces of the pie were Hange’s eccentric attempt to greet the Marleyans and Eren’s gunshot figuratively hitting Sasha. Behind that two more options tied in each with 10.4% of the vote - EMA’s conversation at the shooting range and Sasha appreciating Nicolo’s cooking. This is followed closely by Eren’s mirror scene with 9.7% of the vote. Onyankopon explaining why he looks different when Sasha asks him about it took a solid 9% of the vote.

WHAT WAS THE MOST EMOTIONAL PART OF THE VISIT TO SASHA’S GRAVE? 144 Responses

This was almost too close to call, but Mikasa sitting alone managed to edge out just slightly over Connie’s “I’ve lost half of me” moment at Sasha’s grave. Trailing behind the two were Nicolo’s grief and the agreement between Papa Braus agreeing to a free meal from Nicolo.

AFTER SEVERAL TENSE AND ACTION PACKED EPISODES, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE TRANSITION TO SOMETHING MORE CALM? 138 Responses

The larger chunk of respondents are feeling relieved to get a break from the action for a few episodes. 21.7% prefer the action but don’t mind a break here and there, while 21% state that they enjoy the exposition more than the action anyway, so they are content. A small handful don’t care either way. 

We needed this for another build-up to more action

I like the action but it’s important to move the story along 

These just feel mandatory fillers to me.

I miss the warriors

I feel fine with it. I thought that was going to be some happy-go-me episode, but gladly it still had a serious tones.

This episode felt like a very welcome respite after the absolute shitshow that was spoilers week and....whatever the fuck chapter 137 was. 

Nice breather of sorts, I always like seeing characters from action-heavy series in their downtime.

WOULD YOU RATHER GET A SURPRISE GREETING FROM EREN & HANGE, OR ARMIN & LEVI? 141 Responses

The vast majority of respondents would prefer the slightly less lethal greeting given by Hange and Eren at the beginning of the episode. We’re not sure if the other 29.1% are masochists or just really love Levi and/or Armin that much more. Or perhaps they’re intrigued by the pig piss from the filthy island devils.

ON A SCALE OF 1-5, HOW HAPPY ARE YOU TO BE BACK ON PARADIS? 139 Responses

Overall, fans are happy to be back in familiar territory and put into the perspective of the Survey Corps again. Let’s get ready to rumble!

MAPPA HAS SPRINKLED IN ANIME-ONLY ADDITIONS THROUGHOUT THE EPISODE. AS A WHOLE, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THEM? 139 Responses

Though subtle, MAPPA did include some anime filler (such as Eren’s, erm, mouth breathing). 51.1% enjoyed the noticeable additions, while 37.4% are completely confused by the question and didn’t realize there were any. A handful generally don’t prefer additions but enjoyed what little ones we had this episode. A small sliver didn’t care for them.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE SCENES FROM CHAPTER 107 THAT WERE PEPPERED IN BETWEEN THE MOMENTS FROM CHAPTER 106? 139 Responses

MAPPA is shuffling things around to pick up the pacing of this arc, and 48.2% of respondents are feeling very positively about it. 38.8% also feel that both the order of events in the original manga and the anime work out just fine regardless. A couple of smaller groups either felt that things were a bit off from the manga, or didn’t really care either way. 

I think it's great because it allows an episode to start and end on the same chapter if mappa ever wanted it, allowing the right twists or cliffhangers to be in the right episodes, all WITHOUT having to slow down, which I wholly appreciate.

I'm fine with the changes. Mappa is doing good job.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE CHANGE OF GABI BITING HER NAIL AND ANGRILY SAYING EREN’S NAME IN HER JAIL CELL? 142 Responses

Nearly half of voters feel that both MAPPA’s take and Isayama’s original take work just fine for Gabi’s character. 28.9% prefer the anime’s take on Gabi’s reaction to all that happened, while 14.8% feel that her more defeated posture in the manga makes more sense for her character. 

I'm a mix of both? Her defeated posture implies that she's not happy with the way things worked out with them in jail and Zeke betraying them. On the other hand, her angry face is realistic to the scene too because it implies she really blames Eren for their current predicament.

She looks like some female version of young, angry Tarzan. This time Mappa should have kept the original postures, because the defeated Gabi feels to be more realistic, than the crazy anime one. 

I think they both work but the anime's take might be the anime team beating us over the head that she's just like Eren when he was young.

Makes it clear to the anime-onlies that she really is psychotic

Gabi sucks

HOW WELL DO YOU THINK MAPPA NAILED THE TRANSITION OF EREN SHOOTING THE GUN, TO SASHA TAKING THE HIT? 141 Responses

The response to MAPPA’s take on Eren’s shot inadvertently hitting Sasha was overwhelmingly positive, with only a few people saying that they could have done better with it. 

Eren shot linked to Sasha's death was awesome. Mappa is nailing it!

THE PART WHERE JEAN, SASHA AND CONNIE ARE TRYING TO GUESS WHAT A PORT IS WAS CUT OUT, WITH ARMIN’S NARRATION INSTEAD CUTTING INTO THE SCENE. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT IT? 140 Responses

Exactly 50% felt that while having that JSC characterization would have been very much welcome, they’re okay with that small detail missing from the manga (granted, it was at least acknowledged by one panel being animated). 25.7% have a more nonchalant response, stating that if it helps with the pacing, they’re fine with small cuts like this. 10.7% are just let down by JSC’s lack of characterization in the anime overall and didn’t appreciate even more being taken from their characterization in this episode. 

I was more so interested in our Paradis Peeps talking about newly discovered technology but I’m happy with what we got.

Not dissappointed since I understand you can't show everything but I love them so sad

Why was it animated then?! I’m so confused

Normally I don't like it when they cut corners like this, but I wasn't fond of that scene in the first place so it's okay.

If by "anime" you mean the entirety of it including the past 3 seasons, then option 3. I'm always going to be salty about how much they took out or changed for these three during the uprising arc. So far mappa has done okay with them, I guess. 

Would have been a funny JSC moment, but it was really absolutely pointless. In manga format it works as just background words on a panel. Animating it takes seconds of an episode that could be used elsewhere. So I'm fine with it being cut out.

SOME HAVE COMPLAINED THAT THE ENDING SCENE OF EREN REPEATING HIS MANTRA INTO THE MIRROR LACKED THE IMPACT IT HAD IN THE MANGA. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT? 138 Responses

43.5% were receptive of the anime only shots, but favor the way the scene was portrayed in the manga more. 34.1% felt that both versions were done well, with only 9.4% feeling that the impact was largely the same (if not better). Based on the write-ins, the main complaint seems to be the lighting/color scheme of the scene not quite meeting expectations, or that MAPPA made Eren’s back look weird. 

theyll make up for it when eren screeches at hange next ep

Impact was there, art just felt a bit wonky and toned down the scene overall. 9/11

This goes into my criticism of the color palette and shading style mappa uses, which is far more subdued. The contrast is lowered and the scene is very dark, and there is little rim lighting, so while the actual lineart has far more detail, the detail in the lighting is reduced. Damn I really am writing a wall text aren't I? I prefer Wit Studio's art style a lot but Mappa has honestly been doing great so I couldn't care less, manbun Eren is hot.

I prefer the manga version. I think the anime version have weirds shadows in eren's back. Plus the mirror don't have the same energy, less impactful

Cool scene in the anime, an unforgettable blow to the brains in the manga

Idk

Most of the time seeing things for the first time is what's really impactful. Feel this way towards Armin's transformation in the boat as well. It was definitely less impactful than when you first read it in the manga.

I understand the fandom because this moment was very popular when the chapter was out. I think that in the anime Eren lacks the anger he had in the manga. His voice was too calm while repeating his mantra. .

WHY DOES HIS BACK LOOK LIKE THAT

I didn't care for it in the anime, it was really underwhelming. 

I think most people are annoyed about the lighting than the impact. It’s a bit too dim and the lamp hides Eren’s new hair.

Didn't like the anime version at all

The animation wasn't good and they totally fucked his hair, face, and body up. Although the added shots were definitely welcome.

Eren could've been sexier/animated better, I hope they do better next ep 😭

WE WILL ASK YOU AGAIN. HOW WILL THE ANIME DEAL WITH MIKASA’S HIZURU TATTOO/SYMBOL? 135 Responses

With Mikasa meeting Kiyomi presumably being inevitable in episode 69, we wondered if any opinions had changed on this. 34.1% feel hopeful that the tattoo will be retconned into the anime and that we will see this scene faithful to the manga. 28.9% think that Mikasa will happen to have some kind of embroidery on hand already. 25.9% don’t want to make a call either way, and a small handful think Mikasa’s going to just pull out an embroidery kit and go with it, lol.

The embroidery will be on the inside of her bandage.

Japanese are very taboo about tattoos because of the Yazuka... it will 100% be the embroidery.

I don't know but I hope it gets retconned. Never liked the embroidery thing.

It won't be included

Let’s just... ignore it..

I really really hope MAPPA retcons Mikasa's tattoo next episode. This will be the one retcon I will absolutely celebrate. Plus, it's not really a retcon if they're just amending Wit's changes.

WE WILL ASK YOU AGAIN, AGAIN. WITH THE PACING CURRENTLY UTILIZED BY MAPPA, WHERE WILL EPISODE 16 END? 137 Responses

Uncertainty continues to loom over exactly how far MAPPA will get into this (first half of the?) season. Nearly 40% don’t want to make predictions one way or another, while 23.4% feel that it won’t make it quite to chapter 122. The rest believe it will make it to chapter 122, with 17.5% feeling there will only be minor cuts, if any, and the remaining 13.1% feeling that there will be major cuts to make the feat to chapter 122. 

116 (?) when the allied force attack paradis

122 with the amount of cuts being somewhere in between. They can cut a lot of the Gabi and Falco plotline and still have the story remain intact.

See, I'm not sure buy I'm also worried and curious about it all. It brings up the question of will the story continue in a possible second half of the season? With the manga ending very soon now, it makes sense to have the story wrap up in its anime medium as well. Fees like there's some kind of uncertainty surrounding this, it's unnerving tbh. 

119 with Eren's head being blown off.

gabi no scoping eren, ending creds is eren entering paths and we see ymir standing behind him, s4p2 starts w the ymir backstory

121

No idea and I don't think about it. I just enjoy the show. 

Your guess is as good as mine, I'm still fearing major cuts.

119

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT NICOLO’S PORTRAYAL? 138 Responses

With Nicolo now formally introduced in the anime, we were curious how you felt about his portrayal. Overall the reaction was positive, with 48.6% agreeing that he’s a “cutie pie chef”, and another 45.7% feeling that his design and seiyuu are absolutely great! A small handful were less happy with the voice, but happy with the design, and a sliver went in the opposite direction, preferring voice over animation.

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE ADDED DETAIL OF THE FLOWER BOQUETS AND THEIR SYMBOLISM ON SASHA’S GRAVE? 140 Responses

Respondents vastly appreciated the flower symbolism from MAPPA with 82.9% of the pie. 12.9% aren’t really sure what symbolism there even was, and a small amount either don’t care or felt the effort could have been spent on something other than flowers for Sasha.

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 143 Responses

This pie chart wound up being almost eerily even. 42.7% are most looking forward to the 104th discussing Eren (hopeful for the train flashback?). 39.9% instead are looking more forward to Hange and Eren’s tense conversation at his jail cell. The remaining three preview moments were pretty evenly split as well.

DO YOU THINK WE’LL GET BLUSHING!104TH NEXT EPISODE? 130 Responses

71.5% feel that there is a chance we will get the train flashback of the 104th in this episode, but don’t want to say for absolutely certain. 18.5% feel that it is a guarantee based on what we saw in the preview. 10% feel it is instead guaranteed that we will NOT get the scene in 69.

WE WILL LIKELY SEE PREGNANT HISTORIA NEXT EPISODE. THOUGHTS? 140 Responses

The plotline that continues to be a frustrating mystery in the manga - Historia’s pregnancy. 34.3% aren’t particularly looking forward to seeing her in the rocking chair and aren’t very stoked about having to relive this plotline all over again. 33.6% mainly just care about seeing how the anime only fans react to the scene. 17.9% just miss Historia altogether and will take any scraps they can get. And a small handful, at 9.3%, are actually looking forward to seeing anime!Historia with a baby bump. 

Don't really care about historia

It's in MAPPA's hands now. I just hope they can add a little more of her screentime somehow.

I hope so. I want to see the design of her adult self. 

I honestly wouldn't mind if Historia's entire arc, which consists of equal parts pregnancy, irrelevance and uselessness, is just completely cut in the anime lol

not interest

I'm not interested 

I've hated this fucking plot line with all my being and what it's done to Historia since the leaks for this chapter were revealed years ago. So I'm not looking forward to anime-only people jumping in with their hot takes too. 🤮🤮

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

mikasa was shown in sasha's grave in the morning/afternoon and then she was shown again at dusk. SHE SPENT THE WHOLE DAY THERE. and annie... what a queen. and hisu's few scenes? so pretty.

Really glad the pacing was well done

nicosasha ship just flew in and took the spotlight

fantastic!! maybe it's just because this isn't my first time going through this arc anymore, but i feel like the anime feels chronologically less confusing than the manga—I remember being very confused my first time reading these chapters.

The lack of score by Hiroyuki Sawamo is negatively impacting my relationship with the anime. The depth of the emotion that could have been evoked was not present. I also did not get the sense that Nicolo and Sasha were in love, which was a major disappoinment. There were other aspects that weren't so bad, though; specifically, Levi's portrayal and Onyankopon's philosophy.

It felt a bit all over the place, but just seeing things from the manga being animated, I ain’t even mad.

I think that the scene between Sasha and Nicolo was made better in the anime. Isayama has problems with writing romantic moments, so in the manga the whole moment looked like it was taken from some light romance. Mappa made this scene more serene. I liked it. 

I think MAPPA is doing so great tbh! I just need them to hurry up and explain if there will be a part two to this final season or what?! I need to know if we get more anime or they'll diverge into movies or.... just tell us! Lol! 

How DAREEEE they not give Levi his black steed!!!! .....Although knowing what happens ummm yeah maybe his pony gets to live another day this way lol

Here comes the train wreck, choo choo!

I'm really sad I didn't get to hear Sasha call Jean a perv. I was really looking forward to that. LOL I love them. When EMA were at the shooting range, it looked too much like Mikasa wasn't wearing any pants. 

VERY solid. Not the biggest fan of the War for Paradis arc but I'm here for the ride.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 128 Responses

Thanks again to everyone who participated!

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Blaine Solos Ranked

With the success of the Kurt Solos Ranked, I thought I’d see if I could do Blaine’s as well.  Which has become an interesting and complicated endeavor.  

First of all - there’s the whole issue of what constitutes as a solo -- especially when he often times has an entire back up group singing along with him.  Things like the Warbler numbers I counted -- because he sings the lead in the song by himself.  Not counted are group numbers where he is featured - such as Hey Jude and This Is the New Year.  Mostly, I stuck to what Glee Wiki counts as a solo, so if you have issues, take it up with them. 

Secondly, when ranking Kurt solos, I took a lot into account of how heavily the song ties Kurt’s story.  While nearly all of Kurt’s solos tie in with his story, the Blaine solos don’t always do so.  So, mostly this is just what I think of them. 

Thirdly, the Blaine fans that I have met are, well, fairly passionate about his music, so I want to say this.  There aren’t really any bad Blaine solos.  Unlike Will and Tina, who were subjected to poor song choices, Blaine’s performances, across the board, are pretty stellar.  So, I’d like to remind everyone that this list is pretty arbitrary and based on my subjective biases.  

So going in - take the list as it is, just a fun look at how one person ranks the solos. :) 

Btw - the trivia on Glee wiki says that Blaine sings 31 solos, but I only found 29 -- do they mean the two songs added to the Warblers CD? Or am I missing a couple??

29. I’m Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You (Prom Queen) 

Look at the list of Blaine solos, and arranging it to a list of things I like more than other things, this just kept sinking down and down.  The biggest reason is that I just don’t like the song.  Yup, that’s it.  Nothing exciting about that really.  But I suppose adding to that is the fact that this performance feels way more Darren than it does Blaine, and that the onscreen performance is mostly Finn and Jesse fighting over Rachel.  As I said earlier, there’s nothing /bad/ about any of Blaine’s solo, I just like all the rest more. 

28. Piano Man (Movin’ Out) 

This is a perfectly fine albeit generic rendition of this number.  So, here’s my thing about this one - when they did Piano Man in season one, not only did the song fit a bit more into context with Will and Bryan Ryan being somewhat washed up losers, there was a grittiness in not only the song but the visuals as well, and we get to do something that TV can do, which is transport us into the atmosphere of the song.  By the time Blaine gets to do this number, all of that context and TV atmosphere has been kind of washed away.  And this feels like a number that everyone would have fun singing at Darren’s piano bar because it’s a classic, and less because it has relevance to any of the story.  

Look - a lot of these numbers are fun numbers just for the heck of it, but since they had already done this one, and since this is supposed to take place of the NYADA audition, I’m marking it down.  You can do a lot with this song, and this performance, mostly, didn’t.  

27. Everybody Wants to Rule the World

This is another one where I just am not a fan of the original song, and I don’t go back to listen to it very often.  That said - it is super fun to see Blaine joining all the clubs and being super interactive in school, even if it’s tinged with the sadness that he and Kurt aren’t connecting much these days. 

26. Bills, Bills, Bills (The Sue Sylvester Shuffle) 

This one has grown on me over the years.  It is a bit random - the Warblers’ singing an impromptu (and somewhat obligatory) Destiny’s Child song for the Superbowl episode.  It has zero story resonance.  But it is hilarious to see how much furniture Darren Blaine stands on during the number.  If nothing else, the number is fun, and the Warblers look like they’re enjoying the hell out of doing it.

25. When I Get You Alone (Silly Love Songs)

This one, still, is one of the cringiest things they did on the show.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s hilariously ridiculous, and Blaine singing to a dude in The Gap about sex toys is just, well, something memorable.  It also is getting points for Kurt’s annoyed looks and Darren’s pink sunglasses.  But overall, it still makes me uncomfortable to watch. 

24. Fighter (Big Brother)

So, mostly, this just isn’t a song I like all that much.  Vocally, Blaine sounds fine on it - and does a decent job with it.  That said, I can’t take it as seriously as I’m supposed to.  There’s something I find unintentionally hilarious about this little, teenage grandpa angsting over his brother.  I know it’s got the infamous shower sequence in here - and I get it, I do.  But the fact that I can’t keep from giggling through it is why it’s a bit lower than the rest.  

23. Against All Odds (Guilty Pleasures)

First of all, I’ve always confused by the debate about this song.  It’s clearly for Sam, because Blaine’s an intense guy with intense emotions, and any song he sings for a person he has feelings for is going to be intense.  Go back and watch When I Get You Alone -- that was intense for a dude he got coffee with twice.  I love Blaine (and Darren) with a piano and his voice, and this is one of the ones that was performed live, so that’s cool.  Not my favorite Phil Collins’s number - so that’s mostly the reason for the position here.  Also not the most visually engaging.  But the song is performed well. 

22. Hopelessly Devoted to You (The Role You Were Born to Play)

I’ve never realized just how many angsty Blaine songs he has in his canon.  It’s kind of like the equivalent of Kurt crying through his solos.  He does it well, and I don’t really have any faults for this one.  It’s visually entertaining as well as sounding pretty good.  But not a favorite song of mine, and therefore just gets notched a bit lower.  

21. Last Friday Night (Pot o Gold)

I actually really like this song, even if I’ve probably heard it enough to be fine with not hearing it again for a long time.  The performance is cute - there’s a nice high energy about it (with the exception of Santana’s dower expression during the whole thing because random season 3 conflict).  However, this is kind of the height of whole Jukebox Blaine thing, where he’s trotted out to sing the hot new single of the summer, and then we just stash him away in the background to sit next to Kurt platonically until he’s needed again.  I like the song and the performance, but am frustrated by the gratuitous context.  

20. It's Not Unusual (The Purple Piano Project)

This one is flirty and high energy and Blaine looks super cute dancing on the stairs.  I don’t really have any faults for this number.  But I’m not particularly emotionally attached to it, either, so so in the middle it goes. 

19. Hey, Soul Sister (Special Education)

I unabashedly love this song - even though I feel like I’m not supposed to since it was way, way over played when it was popular.  But I do.  The performance, however, isn’t the Warblers’ best -- across the board I feel like competition numbers rarely are -- and I’d argue it’s one of Blaine’s weaker vocal performances (sorry Darren), but it’s still fun, and the arrangements for the Warbler songs have always been pretty stellar. 

18. Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' (Michael)

While the song itself is a bit strange, and while I’ve never been a huge MJ fan (sorry my dudes), I think this number is a lot of fun.  It’s visually pretty entertaining, and I love the second half where they bring in all of the different styles MJ had donned over the years.  It’s vocally pretty stagnant, so Blaine doesn’t have to do much here, but it’s about the spectacle anyway - and I enjoy what they did with it. 

17. Something’s Coming

It’s always nice to hear Blaine do a Broadway number to give us a break from the mostly pop music he sings.  While not Blaine’s strongest number vocally (he struggles just a little more on the Broadway ones), I love that he brings the stage alive when it’s just him singing.  He’s incredibly visually engaging, and what he may lack (a little) with the vocals he makes up in energy and enthusiasm, which is always a joy to watch.  Plus, there’s something particularly more attractive about early season 3 Blaine (possibly the fluffier, less gelled hair) that adds a nice touch. 

16. Not While I'm Around (Bash)

Interestingly, the studio version of this song has everyone on it, and I’m so glad they let Blaine sing it on his own - because I feel it’s much more impactful that way.  Not only is this the only real insight we get into Blaine’s head during this episode, but it’s raw and emotional (in a good way), and that adds to story unfolding on our screen.  This might be, perhaps, the shortest number on the list, but its impact is stronger than a lot of the other numbers on the list, which is why I enjoy it a lot more. 

15. Beauty School Dropout (Glease)

My favorite Broadway number that Blaine does on the show.  I kind of love that there’s a lot going on during this song.  Not only is Blaine doing an amazing Teen Angel, there’s the moment in the middle Blaine sees Kurt, and the layered look on Blaine’s face as he tries to hold it together is pretty remarkable.  It’s one of my favorite acting moments from Darren, and one of my favorite times the story of the characters is layered over a seemingly disconnected performance.  Plus, Blaine sounds fantastic on this catchy little number.  

14. Silly Love Songs (Silly Love Songs) 

This is one of those charming Warbler numbers that doubles as an ending feature that actually gives relevance to the story of the episode.  It’s cute and sweet and flirty and fun and everyone gets something interesting to do during it.  I don’t have a lot of commentary to add about it - but it’s a classic for a reason, and because of that, it deserves a higher spot on the list. 

13. You're My Best Friend (Puppet Master)

I’m not sure I fully understand the casts’ aversion to the puppets (though I’ll acknowledge that it’s probably weird to perform with a puppet of yourself).  That said, this number is kinda cool visually, and a nice break from what can be tedious choir room songs at this point in the series.  I also enjoy the song and think Blaine sounds nice on it.  Plus - Blaine totally has a backup career in children’s programming if he ever desired.  It is weird that Blaine’s singing to puppets in the first place, but I do adore this one. 

12. Don't Stop Me Now (Diva)

I enjoy that Blaine’s version of being a diva is just adding a leather jacket and pants to a number he performs exactly the same otherwise.  Again, not much to comment on here, but I love the song, and Blaine sounds great on it, and while it isn’t hugely impactful to his story, I like that it shows Blaine being the ambitious little go-getter that he is.  

11. Misery (Original Song) 

This is another one of those songs that I unironically love.  It is the most upbeat song about being miserable that I’ve ever heard, and while a lot of this song has to do with Kurt and his own mental state, has there ever been a more perfect song for Blaine? (well, yes but I’d digress if I went on about that.)  I love so much about this song, from the choreography to Blaine’s obliviousness with Kurt as the number progresses.  It’s fun and energetic and the most entertaining a subject as misery can get. 

10. Cough Syrup (On My Way) 

This might be the most controversial pick on the list, since I know for a lot of Blaine fans, this is their favorite number.  I think it validates what a lot of people had been thinking - that there’s a lot going on underneath the surface of an outwardly peppy and energetic Blaine Anderson.  And, I do like this song, and find it haunting -- it’s much different than the songs Blaine usually sings.  It’s more emotional and tortured, and it’s fascinating to watch him sing his way through it.  That said, the actual performance of this I rarely ever watch.  It’s laid over Karofsky’s suicide attempt, and I find that sequence incredibly difficult to watch.  So, while I do think a lot of the praise this song gets is completely valid, I can’t claim that it’s my favorite.  I’m giving it an obligatory spot at #10 because I do think it deserves to be acknowledged as one of Blaine’s best solos. 

9. It's Not Alright but It's Okay (Dance With Somebody)

Funny enough, as just a song, this isn’t one of my favorites.  But I love, love what this song does.  Clearly, by now I’m sure you’ve figured out, I love performances that have a lot of layers to them - and this one definitely does.  There’s a great duality going on here between the awkward sadness that Blaine actually sings in the choir room versus the controlled anger that Blaine displays during his own fantasy.  (It’s also one half of a conversation with Kurt that gets resolved when Kurt sings I Have Nothing later on.)  I love the complexity of emotion that goes on during this one, and it remains one of my favorite performances on the show.  

8. My Dark Side (Dynamic Duets) 

Yes, this song is amazing! Again, another one of those performances that has a ton packed in it -- that has the additional quality of sounding and looking fantastic.  I love that this song is entirely about Blaine, and where he is in his life.  We get more tortured Blaine, but this time it’s in a more upbeat, pop-y song that suits Blaine incredibly well.  But mostly, I love his interaction with the Warblers during it, the choreography is brilliant as they slowly start to bring him back in as their leader - and that moment where he parts them and he walks down the center reclaiming his position.  There’s a lot to unpack here, as it easily meshes with the themes of the episode - of dark vs light and of heroes not always being heroic (but worth it anyway).  I love when there’s deeper symbolism in a performance, and this has a ton of that. 

7. All of Me (The Untitled Rachel Berry Project) 

Look, it’s probably no secret that I really love Blaine (and Darren) just sitting at a piano singing.  And I really love this song in general, too.  Blaine’s last solo on the show (unfortunately!) is as tortured as many of the others on this list, but the thing that stands out for me about this one is its simplicity.  It’s just Blaine by himself, working out how he feels about his situation through song.  It’s not really meant to be heard by Kurt (or anyone else) but it’s also a shame that so rarely Blaine gets to let his real emotions be on display, which he does here.  The performance is also beautifully shot, and intentionally evocative of another infamous Blaine solo that’s a little higher on the list. 

6. Raise Your Glass (Original Song) 

This is quintessential Warblers, and quintessential performance Blaine.  This song is amazing on its own, truly.  But the Warblers bring so much warmth and joy to it -- it’s such an engaging and energetic song, I often listen to it as a pick me up.  No - this isn’t essential to Blaine’s character story, but I think it represents all the fun and ridiculousness Blaine and the Warblers arc brought to the show. 

5. Somewhere Only We Know (Born This Way) 

There’s something hauntingly beautiful about this one.  Blaine (and the Warblers) sound great on it, and it’s the beginning of Blaine having a tortured and emotional underbelly to his personality.  But more so, this song is about endings, and this is a turning point in Kurt’s and Klaine’s story as we say goodbye to Dalton and move on with the rest of Kurt’s journey.  And it’s a dialogue between Kurt and Blaine, despite the sea of people around them, things are changing between them for better and for worse and for... just growing up, and this song encapsulates that beautifully. 

4. All You Need is Love (Love, Love, Love)

Not gonna lie, this one is 100% about the context within the show.  When I first heard the song, when it was released before the episode, it was kinda like - cool, Darren’s singing a Beatles cover.  But the actual performance, the fact that this is essentially a love letter to the Klaine story, makes it one of the most precious and romantic numbers in the entire show.  Blaine pulls out all the stops for Kurt here, and I can never just watch the performance, but always continue on to the proposal as well.  It’s a beautiful performance, and a beautiful moment for Klaine and an utter highlight for the show itself. 

3. It’s Time (The New Rachel) 

Perhaps a number I’ve seen more than any other, I just love this number so much. Yes, it’s a good song.  Yes, Blaine sounds great on it.  And yes, the choreography is a ton of fun.   But it’s also Blaine, very much himself, torn between being a child and growing up.  There’s an unspoken dialogue between Kurt and Blaine during this song, about moving on from being stuck, and while this number is very childlike in it’s choreography, the subject matter is a little more mature -- being about moving on from the places your feel safe and journeying out in the world to be the person you’re supposed to be.  There’s also a duality here -- where Blaine is stuck in the childlike land of high school as Kurt moves on to college and New York.  This is another turning point in their story (as is all the songs done on these steps for these two), and I absolutely love that.  But, it shouldn’t be discounted that it is a really good song that Blaine sounds really good on -- which is why it makes it one of Blaine’s best solos. 

2. Teenage Dream Acoustic (The Break Up) 

I’m sure that no one is surprised this at the top of the list. But what I can’t stress enough is that this is, hands down, one of the best performances done on the show period.  Katy Perry’s original version of Teenage Dream is a trashy, forgettable pop song.  What Darren Criss did with it is nothing short of magical.  But then to bring this arrangement and add in his most phenomenal acting performance, even if it did break all of our hearts.  The thing I love especially about the show version (vs the studio version) is that we get to see Blaine slowly break down and become unraveled while singing it.  The performer that Blaine is starts to break down and this performance becomes an utter mess -- which makes it all the more powerful, moving, and heartbreaking.  I love everything that this number chooses to be -- from exposing Blaine’s character, to the breaking of the fairy tale romance that is Klaine, to letting it be an end of one thing while the beginning of another.  

Meanwhile, on another note, I’ve heard Darren sing this enough in his own performances that I have somewhat disassociated this version with the Klaine break up - but that doesn’t make this arrangement less powerful.  Darren took a somewhat throwaway song and made something uniquely beautiful with it -- and that’s incredibly special, too.  

1. Teenage Dream (Never Been Kissed)

I’m sure you’re gasping with surprise.  But, this is no. 1 for a reason.  While I think the acoustic version is better sounding (there’s just a tad too much auto tune here for reasons I’m unsure about), this number is the epitome of all Blaine numbers.  It’s his introduction to the show, and so much of Blaine’s character was cultivated out of this performance.  On top of that -- this performance made Kurt alive again, and it’s the beginning of a wild and beautiful story that would be the Klaine love story.  It also became a major hit for the show - thrusting the music of Glee to a height that it never really could match again.  

The scene is iconic and classic.  The song is iconic and classic.  Everything that is Blaine and the Klaine love story is wrapped up in this one.  And every time I come back to it, I can’t help but smile - which is why this one remains at the top spot for me.  

[lnarizakis]

SAM HIT 1K !

hey, everyone! a few days ago i hit 1k followers and i’m so excited to share with you all this news! it’s been six months of writing, posting, and making new friends, and i’ve recognized the results of all of my efforts. thank you to everyone who’s been with me on this journey, even if i met you in march, or just yesterday!

i acknowledge that in the past i’ve been selfish and self-conscious about that number, but everyday i’m grateful that i have a growing number of people who have my back, supporting me, even if it’s through a simple like or even an anonymous ask telling me they really enjoyed a particular work of mine.

and, with everything you do in life, you encounter people who will support you, make your life better, and just know how to help you up when you’ve fallen: friends. that being said, i want to write a letter to all the friends i’ve made on here since i don’t know when i’ll be able to get the next chance to . . .

TRIS , i remember seeing you appear in the comments of almost all of my posts and i just want to thank you personally for always supporting what i have. you don’t realize how much every little comment means to me, really! it always puts a smile on my face to see you comment something and it feels like i’ve accomplished something, so thank you. @tris-does-stuff

HANA , you really don’t know how happy you’ve made me when you told me you were a fan of mine. it just... shocked me? to know that i have people out there that genuinely support what i do? we only really started talking for a couple of days but i feel a strong connection between the two of us (it really may be our matching mbti types, too!) and i’m so glad to be able to call you my friend. you didn’t hear this from me, but i constantly look back at the #anon makes me happy tag and read through those anonymous messages you sent me. i love them (and you) very much! @wansseul

ELLIOT , i know you as one of my biggest supporters for coaches don’t play, and i find that really heartwarming to see that even after, what, two months since i’ve updated, you reblogged it with the tag #thank you for updating! ! i was so happy to see that, and you even proceeded to send in an ask about it afterwards too! i know we don’t really talk often—but i definitely think we should— but i know that you’re so incredibly sweet, especially after i was having that rough slump of mine i think last month. you were so kind to tell me that you’d always be here if i need to talk with someone, so thank you very much. i’m very grateful to have met you! @keiyoomi

JJ , hey, jj!!! i know we haven’t talked in a hot second, but look! i’ve reached 1k followers! i remember you were around during my coaches don’t play days, and that you always sent an ask after almost every update. sometimes i fiind myself looking back at them and smiling, knowing that you were enjoying what i wrote, so thank you very much! i want to say another thank you for being there for me when i was feeling really down in the dumps, and for taking the time out of your day to write me a message on discord. i’m so grateful that you did so, and i hope life treats you well. also! i began reading the great gatsby for school, so we should talk about it sometime hehehe. @kunimwuah

DOVE , aka uvogin anon, dovey lovey, my favorite inbox invader! i . honestly don’t know how we met. like one day u just appeared in my inbox and BAM ! we started talking! and i don’t regret every single thing i send into your inbox (even beany cock) . i always look forward to whenever you send things in my inbox and i really mean it when i say you’re my favorite inbox invader >:) it makes me so happy to see you active on tumblr and to see what you bring me everyday. i am very grateful you’re in my life, and i hope we continue to talk more and more! @fantasiesofdreams

SAL , i remember the first time i talked with you! you liked one of my posts and i was like oh she seems cool, i’m gonna follow her and congratulate her on 400 followers. and soon enough, we started tagging each other in those tag games and later we just grew closer and closer! i’m so happy that we got really close and it always brightens my day to see you on my dash; you never fail to put a smile on my face. thank you so much for being my friend and always being there when i need a good laugh! @sugaanoya

AI , ai, ai love you! i remember following you for your “be my boyfriend” series, and i hope it continues on your new blog (no promises, of course!). i also was there during your blank kita era, and it was honestly something that made me laugh out loud. i’m pretty sure i turned on notifications for you at that point because i was so invested with this drama. you’re just an insanely nice person whose kindness rivals your love for suna (or is it sakusa? your disloyalty, tsk... just kidding!!!). i know that we haven’t talked a whole lot lately but i will be sure to hop in your inbox and stay for a while some time soon. thank you so much for being my friend and i hope you stay happy and healthy! @wiintiier

KAI , aka caca wife! i remember when we started talking on rircus, and at first i didn’t really know who you were, until one fateful night when the conversation about caca happened. at that moment i knew we had similar senses of humor and i remember that i couldn’t stop laughing. it was the caca madness! if i’m being completely honest, i look up to you as a big sister that i’ve never had and i really appreciate you for that, so thank you for being in my life! @lcaita

NAOMI , aka newmie! i remember we first started talking in rircus and i want to thank you for welcoming me so kindly in the server, and especially during the first night we talked, which is when i had a problem and you helped me out immensely. i just want to say thank you for every time that you’ve helped me, talked to me, and made me feel better when i felt less than okay. i’m so glad that i’ve met you and i hope you accomplish great things in your life. @kuraomi

MICKIE , probably one of the only people on discord whose mesages i find myself laughing at a lot. you’re always brightening up the mood wherever you go, and i always find myself looking towards what you have to say today. thanks for that! i also think about that (may i say, really funny) exchange between the two of us on here when you went: “oh god i can’t believe HE’S almost dead ahhh” and i have no idea who you were talking about so i went “omg it’s sero,” and you went on this LONG RANT and it was just so funny to me!!! thanks for always putting a smile on my face. and also! thank you so, so much for suggesting that i get curtain bangs, a decision i really don’t regret! i was afraid i was going to hate them, but i find myself looking in the mirror a lot and thinking: “wow, that is a whole different person.” in a good way! so thank you very much. @tokyoghoose

GERE , aka my ex-wife... sorry about that :( . i never got to say sorry for that but the caca bond runs strong, i hope you understand. i just want you to know how much of a kind person you are, and especially how welcoming you are, too. i was so glad to be welcomed so kindly in your server and it’s become one of my favorites to talk in. i also want you to know, that especially with current times, that things will get better and i’m so glad you’re staying positive with everything going on recently. i love you for you, please remember that!!! @t-amajiki

ISSA , omg, girly pop. hahahaha!!! issa, you’re such a genuine person and i remember meeting you for the first time on rircus. you welcomed me with open arms and you were just the kindest person i met on there. you’re someone who’s just so beautiful inside and out, and the way you’re so large and in charge with your feelings is something i really admire about you. i know we don’t talk so often, but i hope we do. i want to thank you for being my friend, and especially always making me laugh! i love you very much, issa! @indigohitoshi

KYLIE , kylie!!!! the co-founder of our son, iwaizumi hajime. this was literally peak popularity and i knew i was never to get as many notifications as i did in that moment. of everyone i could have shared the account with, i am so glad that i was able to do it with you because we were able to grow closer because of that. now we have this weird inside joke that our son gets mad cooch, and that every day we must think of in another life. where are the daily in another life tiktoks??? of course, our son isn’t the only thing i associate with you. you’re such a kind, hilarious, and genuine person, and to be honest, sometimes i really worry for your wellbeing. get some more sleep, kyl!!! you deserve it. i want you to be grucchi, not tired and wanting to die. thank you so, so much for being my friend, and i am so happy that i met you! @peppermintkiddo

TO, LIKE, EVERYONE FROM RIRCUS , the best people i could ever meet. i’m sorry i couldn’t write an individual letter to all of you, since we haven’t interacted so often for me to pick out one specific memory that i could hold and cherish, but know that every time i come on rircus and talk with you, it is a moment that i will always remember! thank you so much for being my friends and i love you all so, so incredibly much. @kaoyuuuuu @reogou @haikyuu-but-low-iq @yooooooooooomi @samdwich @kenmauwus @shirasusgf @macaronnv @king-kawa

TO EVERYONE THAT CONSTANTLY LIKES, REBLOGS, OR COMMENTS ON MY WORK , you know who you are. i know who you are. i can literally tag you right now. but i think i’ll prefer to keep the anonymity. thank you so much for sharing my work, giving me feedback, and everything. it mean so much to me, especially if there’s a comment attached to the reblog. you make me do a little happy dance!!! i love you so much for what you do and i hope you continue to support me in every way possible!

FOR PEOPLE THAT I MISS/PROBABLY WON’T READ THIS

MEL , hi mel! i’m not very sure if you will read this, but i am so happy that i met you and that we began talking. i remember we began talking after i asked for people to send in memes for that meme war against my sister. i told you i won, right? well, i did. ahhaha anyways, i am very sad that we sort of grew apart and i hope that we can begin talking again soon. you were the highlight of my spring semester. i enjoyed talking with you so much. but i hope that you and your family are currently doing well and that you stay happy and healthy! i miss you very much, melon, thank you for being a part of my life!

RAENAH , hi rae! i think meeting you was a blessing, to be honest. i can’t remember a time when i was utterly annoyed by your presence, nor was i ever mad with you. you are such a kind person with such a pure heart, and during your time on tumblr you really showcased it for everyone to see. you were literally with me from literally the very beginning, during the “my name is...” days, and all i can say is that i am blessed to have met you! thank you so much for lighting up my life, talking to me whenever you made the time, and especially playing minecraft with me. it was so fun, even if it was for a short while. i hope you had as much fun as i had! again, thank you so much for supporting, befriending, and getting to know me because i will never forget you on tumblr dot com. i hope you stay well and make sure you rest often, especially with uni! @a-kaashi

MIYU , where has miyu gone? just kidding. i know you’re there. i hope you read this because i don’t want to tag your new blog. anyways, i just want you to know you make my dash ten times better. it’s literally so boring without you spicing it up, with you talking with anons and your mutuals. i definitely think i should invade your inbox more, what do you think? when i was starting on tumblr, you were a very big inspiration to me and i am very proud of all the works you write. you still are someone i look up to as a writer, because you have such a creative spirit and it makes me so happy you’re able to showcase it for everyone to see. i hope you are staying healthy and well right now, and thank you so much for being my friend!

GIGI , poop. i genuinely miss you very much, but i know that school takes a priority for you. i hope you’re doing well with your classes and that you find the man of your dreams. hopefully it is not the skater boy because you deserve someone as insanely hot as kurapika. no cap. i remember during my chrollo pfp guy craze you were there to deter me away from liking him, but let me just tell you, we’re getting closer tbh. ;) . just kidding, we really aren’t, but we’ve been talking quite a bit. i also want to tell you that you’re someone who’s made me smile with everything you say, and i find myself sometimes typing the way you do. you’re an influence, gigi! please stay happy and healthy and make sure you get lots of rest during your time at school! @gigiwrite

MARS , best for last, am i right? i’m not really sure when i first saw you on my blog, but i remember you’ve been here for a very, very long time. i think it was back in july when we first started talking. you were 🦊 anon, and it made me so happy to read that you felt comfortable enough to reveal yourself! from there, i knew we had a bond from the way we interacted with one another. you’re just such a kind person and you show that to everyone you meet. it’s a quality i wish i had in myself and i really look up to you for your genuinity. sometimes i feel like i don’t thank you enough for how kind you are to me, but just know that with every time i talk i’m always grateful that you’re in my life and that i’ve met you. i know you’re someone i can always lean on and i hope you see me the same. thank you so much for being in my life; you’re someone who means a lot to me. @maru5hka

TO BASICALLY EVERYONE HERE

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR 1K!!!! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME. i am so grateful for each and every one of you; you guys are so hot and sexy. i am so grateful to have met you all, even if it was just a simple “you’re added to the taglist!” or a “thank you so much!” i count it as you being my friend and you interacting with me. you guys aren’t my followers; you’re my friends. thank you so much for being my friend and being here for all of my weird shenanigans i have up my sleeve, whether it be my meme war against my sister, my obsession for blue lock, and my huge crush on chrollo pfp guy. well, here’s to me for being sappy and here’s to many more!

[seiin-translations]

2.43 S1 Chapter 1.4 - Young Yunichika

4. MISCONDUCT

Translation Notes

1. Bon refers to a young man from a well-to-do family

2. These are lyrics from the opening theme for the famous volleyball anime, Attack No.1

3. I know nothing about Attack No.1 so I have no idea what this is referring to. The original line is “ヒロイン訛ってるって”. If you know anything about this, let me know

4. The kanji for Meisei is 銘誠.   銘 from 座右の銘 (means favorite motto) and 誠 is pronounced makoto by itself

5. Meisei-chuu as in Meisei Middle School

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Haijima Kimichika was an idiot. No, his grades overall weren’t that bad. He was slightly above middling for his third semester finals. However, Kuroba was dumbfounded when he saw the breakdown of that “slightly above middling.”

In regards to math and social studies, he was well above the average, and in fact, he was at the top of the class in his grade. Math, ninety-five. Social studies, ninety-nine—that was the first time he ever saw ninety-nine on an exam paper. He was taken aback by the brilliance of the two 9’s next to each other.

But, things didn’t look good from there. Science, seventy-three. English, sixty. His marks around here were so normal that it made you wonder what his high marks in math and social studies were. Apparently, his strong areas were unusually inclined towards calculation and memorization.  

Japanese,

Thirty points.

…They really were unusually inclined.

“Ooh, there’s a whole row of x’s here. What a nice view.”

It was a question about close reading a novel. The answers to “What are the emotional states of the characters”-type questions were continuously absurd, and the way the x’s were written was becoming increasingly desperate, as if to represent his Japanese teacher’s emotional state.

“For the question ‘Please answer in eighty words or less why you think the king forgives Melos,’ you answered, ‘Melos was naked      the cow,’. I can see the signs of suffering from trying to write a little more, but not being able to write a sentence and getting frustrated. …Cow?”

“Shut up. You’re always joking about people’s exam answers.”

“Ow ow ow!”

Kuroba groaned as he fell prostrate on the exam papers spread out between his legs with a weight pressed tightly against his back. The other club members laughed at the two stretching as a pair.

“You shouldn’t laugh at other people, Yuni. You got forty-two in math and fifty-five in social studies.”

“Hey, don’t read it aloud. This is an invasion of privacy.”

“Japanese…oh? Eighty-seven. Not bad.”

“For real?”

His back lightened with Haijima’s upset-sounding voice. He lifted his body with a self-satisfied look that said “Fufufu. Japanese is the only thing this guy’s good at,” but Haijima, who snatched and returned Kuroba’s Japanese exam paper, once again pressed down on his back tightly with his entire upper body while staring at his answers with a slightly displeased look on his face. Kuroba grumbled “Ow ow ow” while facing the floor in an open-legged forward bending position.

“Why did you answer the cow question like this? I don’t get it at all.”

“First, let go of the cow…I think the first issue is that no cows appear in the story. I’m getting worried about whether or not you can get into high school.”

He briefly wondered if one could get into school through a volleyball recommendation, but even if one could, it didn’t matter because there was no chance of their weak club reaching the point where they could get noticed in a big tournament. If Haijima was in his previous middle school, recommendations might come, however—he hadn’t asked Haijima himself, but there was no doubt that he had been in a fairly strong volleyball club with a decent coach. He had no idea what a full-scale stretching regimen was until he started practicing with Haijima. Next, Kuroba laid on his back as Haijima took his legs and thoroughly stretched them.

I thought that since Haijima would have nothing left if you took volleyball away from him, it would be his greatest desire to go to a strong volleyball school, but…

Haijima Kimichika was a volleyball fanatic.

The ban on club activities, which had been suspended a week before finals, had been lifted, and they held a practice day at once. With people turning up once they knew it was active, the boys’ volleyball team, which used to be as good as non-existent, had more or less taken on the appearance of club activities recently. With just barely six people, they still haven’t been in a match yet.

It was when they stood up and stretched their backs after finishing their brief stretching session.

“Kuroba, how tall are you now?”

Haijima said while looking up at his hair whorl.

“Hmm? Didn’t I say I was one-seventy-three?”

“When did you measure that?”

“Um…in fall, I think…November?”

He tamped down his hair whorl, but his bed hair bobbed back up. He felt depressed when he wondered if he had been exposing this hair to people all day since morning.

There was a scale on the door frame of the gym equipment room that could be used to measure height, and was used to compare heights for fun during club activities and gym class. It was probably the work of students from decades ago. It was the culmination of very precise work, with each millimeter being carved out from one-fifty to one-eighty centimeters with a utility knife.

“One-seventy-five-point-zero.”

Putting an empty powdered drink box to the top of Kuroba’s head, Haijima read the scale out loud.

“Ooh, I grew two centimeters?”

“My turn.”

They exchanged places and now it was Haijima with his back to the scale.

“Don’t raise your heels. Um, one-seventy-two-point…seven.”

“Ah. I grew too.”

But, Haijima didn’t seem too happy about it. With a sullen face, he left the scale and grumbled “Two centimeters off.”

“Two-point-three centimeters off. Don’t round it down. You’re a setter, so you don’t have to be so worried about your height, right?”

“I have a favorite player. It’s Abe, who was selected for the national team. He’s a setter, but he’s one-ninety-one. Even for setters, the bigger you are, the better you block and the faster you set. And, Abe’s ambidextrous, and he has a good left dump.”

“Huh? That reminds me, do you also…”

Haijima served with his left hand. But which hand did he hit with outside of those times...he didn’t have a clear impression. He felt like he recalled him hitting with his left and with his right.

“Use both hands?”

“I do,” He said carelessly, but was that something so easy to do? “There’s still an eighteen-centimeter difference, huh… But Abe can’t hit jump serves, so once my height catches up, I’ll be better.”

When it came to the subject of volleyball, Haijima became more talkative than usual. The way he spoke was basically like cutting short the front part of the context and throwing away the back end, but he came to be able to speak fairly long lines in a polite manner. He must love it a lot, he thought in half amazement and half admiration.

“I’m not sure if you have way too much confidence in yourself or is just an idiot…but I never thought you’d compare yourself to a member of the national team.”

He forced a smile, and got glared at with resentful eyes. He got scared, wondering if he said something that made him angry. He still wasn’t very good at knowing what set Haijima off.

“Kuroba, at the practice game, you see blocks and differentiate between hitting the ball cross and straight, right?”

“Cross-court and straight…oh, straight is where you hit the ball right down the middle, and cross is where you twist a little and hit it outside.”

“It’s the other way around, dumbass.”

He had answered with hand gestures while tilting his head to the side in confusion, but was completely denied with an insult.

“A cross is a spike that passes through the court at an angle. A straight is a spike that goes straight and parallel to the sidelines. When you’re hitting on the front row, you tend to step towards the center in front of the net a lot, so if you hit it straight on, it becomes a cross, and if you hit it with the intention to twist it outside, it will be straight.”

“So complicated…”

“It’s not that complicated, but…oh well. I’ll teach you step by step.”

He thought “Teach me?” every time, but why was he naturally acting like he was above him?

“Even if you don’t understand it with your head, you have good eyes, so you can deal with blocks. Being able to naturally rotate your trunk midair, the length of your time in the air, the suppleness of your shoulders…those are qualities you’ve probably always had. You will get good. It’ll be in no time if you do it properly. You’ll be taller, too.”

“…? Do you have a fever?”

He stared at Haijima’s face suspiciously and got a suspicious look in return.

“What. Did I say something weird?”

“No, it’s just that you’re always so self-important, so I thought you were someone who wouldn’t praise or acknowledge people in that way.”

“If there’s something to acknowledge, then of course I’m gonna acknowledge it. But, there’s no way to acknowledge what’s not there.”

Haijima stated, pouting and seeming truly upset.

Haijima never flattered. He wasn’t humble. He couldn’t hold himself back. Indeed, he might be sincere and straightforward in a sense. …But, he thought it was probably a tough way to live. Most people didn’t want to be told the truth right to their faces.

“You will get good.”

Afterwards, slowly but steadily, a ticklish feeling welled up in the depths of his body. It was uncool to take someone at their word, so he purposely looked indifferent and said,

“I have a talent for volleyball, huh. It won’t make me all that popular though.”

He feigned ignorance and talked big. Unlike Haijima, he felt like he had been drifting through life frivolously, with a bunch of façades lined up in front of him, obscuring reality.

***

The days have become longer, and the chill had subsided considerably. It was now often possible to sneak peeks at patches of blue in the sky which had been covered by depressing snow-laden clouds in midwinter. The sun had completely set when he nearly ran over Haijima in front of that karaoke box in February, but by mid-March, there was still some faint light left in the sky at that same time of day. A rusty copper sunset fringed the ridgelines of Mount Nokude in the distance.

Since their houses were in the same direction, he ended up going home with Haijima on days they had club activities. Their enamel bags, slung over their shoulders, rattled, and they tread on the rugged road in their snow boots. Although the snow on the road melted during the day and was close to becoming sherbet, it had begun to freeze again in the shape of punched-through car ruts and footprints. During the snowfall season from December to March, elementary and middle school students were prohibited from cycling to school, so it took forty minutes to get there on foot. There was no doubt that they would starve before they reached home, so the two stuffed their cheeks with sweet bread as they walked. Incidentally, he stuffed himself with two pieces of bread before club and of course he was going to eat dinner when he got home. At any rate, he was hungry. And at any rate, he was sleepy.

Until one or two months ago, he would have wanted to skip over middle school and become a high school student as soon as possible, but come to think of it, he had stopped thinking about that recently. He had no time to think about superfluous things because after he finished club activities, went home, ate, and took a bath, he immediately went to bed. He fell asleep feeling like he was sinking into the floor with his futon, and then when he woke up, it was next morning.

Finals were over, and now it was time to neglect everything and go into spring break. And whether he left it alone or made a fuss, once the break ended, he would become a third-year. The word examinee still didn’t really strike home for him.

“Haijima, what are you gonna do for high school? Are you taking it here?”

He finally broached the subject that actually wanted to ask him about during club, but hesitated over.

“Well, I was thinking of taking it here, but…”

He got stuck on how Haijima trailed off at the end of his sentence, which was unusual for him.

“But? Is there a condition or something?”

He once again asked Haijima’s profile, which was bulged out with the bread he stuffed in his mouth. He wasn’t wearing his glasses right now. Haijima always followed the procedure of putting in contact lenses and taping his hands before club started. If he taped first, he wouldn’t be able to handle his contacts. When club activities were finished, he followed that procedure in reverse, but there were days when he went home as he was, perhaps because he couldn’t be bothered. From the point of view of Kuroba, whose vision had never fell below 20/20 and whose fingernails and bones seemed healthy and strong, he had a difficult constitution.

“More importantly, new first-years will come in April.”

“Hmm? Oh yeah. Skilled guys would get picked up by the other clubs, so it’s better not to get your hopes up, but maybe we can get one or two people.” More importantly? He had a feeling he was changing the subject, but the timing to repeat the question escaped him.

“If we get more members, I wanna go to a tournament. I don’t know the tournament schedule here, but there should be a prefectural tournament before the summer inter-school.”

“Tournament, huh. But even if we can be in it, I don’t think we can win at our level…”

“It’s no fun if you don’t play a game. I wanna be in a match. I’m gonna train you all to be presentable enough by summer. I’ll take care of the rest.” Once again, he said that he was gonna train us without hesitation. Is he treating us like performing monkeys or something?

Ah, there it was. The sparkle in his eyes like that of a dinosaur-loving elementary schooler. Though he was just being arrogant and saying something self-centered, when he had that look in his eyes, he couldn’t help but feel that it was as though it was being secretly switched with something of pure purpose. Kuroba realized that he couldn’t oppose those eyes at all.

“Ooookay, got it. We need an advisor to be in a tournament or it’s no good, right? Let’s ask tomorrow.”

When he said that with a sigh, a crude voice called out to them from the side of the road.

“Hey, isn’t that the head house’s bon walking there?” (1)

It came from in front of the signboard of the aforementioned “Karaoke Box Monshiro”. Was this the only place to hang out? Well, it probably was. There were three men. Two 125cc motorbikes and one moped. Each of them was sitting astride their seats and hanging their butts on their tandem grips, smoking cigarettes as they tucked their chins inside their collars of their jackets, looking cold. They had the appearances of what countryside delinquents should be.

“Oh, Yori-chan!”

Kuroba called out to him with a smile, but Yorimichi only took a glance at his appearance and looked away.

The other two were Yorimichi’s senpais, both from the neighborhood. When someone other than his relatives called him the “head house’s bon”, it was probably filled with ridicule, but since he was used to it, he didn’t react to it every single time, and Kuroba greeted them in a friendly manner as well.

“’Sup. It’s been a while. I didn’t know you guys are back.”

“It’s spring break in uni too. Bon, how much you got today?”

“Oh…I only have some coins. I’ve been doing club activities lately so there’s a lot of times when I’d be leaving my bag alone.”

“’Club activities’?”

The two repeated it with a rising inflection that contained laughter.

“Oh, is that what Yorimichi was talking about?”

Smirking, they eyed Kuroba from the top of his head to his feet. He uncomfortably let his gaze escape to Haijima, who was waiting next to him. When he looked at Haijima, he could see his own appearance like he was looking into a mirror, or rather, he was just copying Haijima, but—he was wearing a knee-length padded coat over his jersey with his rectangular enamel sports bag slung over his shoulder, and he really did look like he was coming back from a sports club. In regards to the padded coat, Kuroba saw Haijima’s and also bought one recently.

“You do receives or something, how did that go again? We didn’t do it in gym in high school, so I completely forgot.”

The two had mean smiles on their faces, pointing their chins. Either the smoke of their cigarettes or the whiteness of their breath from the cold made their stubbled mouths misty.

“Um, it’s like this, I guess…?”

Kuroba had no choice but to drop his hips on the spot and did the posture for an underhand pass, and the two cackled and applauded.

“Wow, looking pretty good, aren’t you? I know, it’s that thing, Attack No.1, right?”

“That old manga? It’s that ‘I won’t cry, I’m just a girl’ thing, right?” (2)

“The heroine spoke in dialect. Gyahahaha!” (3)

“Haha…”

When Kuroba forced a smile while feeling his face turning hot, his bag was suddenly pulled on. The strap was biting into the pit of his stomach. “Gueh,” he groaned as he turned around.

“Haijima?”

“You’re just getting looked down on. We’re not playing around.  Don’t keep them company.”

Like he was pulling on the leash of a not particularly disciplined dog, Haijima primly started walking while gripping the strap. “Okay, okay, don’t pull me. It’s dan…” Right when he twisted his body around and rushed to follow him,

“You’re hanging out with us, right, Yuni?”

Yorimichi called out to his back.

Haijima turned around, not even trying to hide his annoyance. Kuroba also followed his gaze while feeling lost. Turning away and smoking his cigarette, Yorimichi snorted sarcastically.

“Don’t tell me you’re getting’ influenced by Fighting Spirit Chika-chan, are ya? You’re the one who’s gonna be embarrassed later.”

“Hey…oh, hey Yori-chan, are you mad at me? Sorry for not hanging out with you lately. We’ll do stuff together during spring break.”

“Kuroba, we’re practicing during spring break too.”

Haijima’s dissatisfied sounding voice pierced the back of his ear. “We can’t practice everyday, right?” When he turned around with a half-smile, his face seemed to say, As a matter of fact, of course we are. “If we’re going to the summer tournament, we’ll still never make it in time even with that.” “Are you serious…” He was of course ready to have fun and relax during spring break, so when he was told to be prepared to completely spend that time on club activities… I underestimated this guy’s volleyball obsession.

“Yuuuuni. You understand, right? It’s no good for you. It’d be less embarrassing if you stop playing around. I ain’t patient either, so I can’t wait too long for you.”

“Hey, even Yori-chan’s being mean? You’re not serious, right?”

He looked at Yorimichi again with a twitching smile. “Oh, you’re pretty popular, Bon. If you pick one, you have to cut off the other. This is a real mess.” The two university students irresponsibly jeered and aggravated the situation.

“You, you get it, right? I have the same blood in my veins as you, so we get fired up and cooled off easily.  I’ll probably get bored halfway, right?”

He ended up prioritizing putting Yorimichi in a good mood with a joking tone. A cold sweat ran down the nape of his neck as he felt Haijima’s burning gaze scorching it.

He knew that he was playing it safe. He was still afraid now that Yorimichi would throw him away. He wanted to secure the warm place he could always return to if things got tough. Don’t put me together with you, he grumbled in his mind. Haijima, who didn’t have an ounce of doubt about himself doing volleyball, probably wouldn’t understand, but for us until just now, guys who went hardcore for club activities were just something to be watched from a distance and gawked at.

Yorimichi bared his teeth and grinned.

“Haha, that’s right. You’re the same as me.”

Relieved, Kuroba also slackened his cheeks.

And, the heat wave of Haijima’s gaze that was burning the back of his neck also abruptly disappeared. The strap was released to send him flying.

“Then quit now.”

Haijima said it bluntly in a cold voice, a complete reversal from the heat of earlier.

“Hey, no need to go that far…”

“I don’t want to the tournament to get messed up.”

“Messed up…”

He immediately guessed that he was talking about scandals that would result in a suspension. Kuroba himself didn’t smoke or drink, but he overlooked Yorimichi doing it. It wasn’t illegal to ride double on a bike, but having only one helmet was probably not allowed. It wasn’t a good look to sneak into karaoke bars either. He didn’t really care about it until now, but it was somewhat understandable that school sports were sensitive to those kinds of issues.

Haijima’s concern was reasonable, and perhaps this was where he should be sorry. But on the contrary, antagonism reared its head. So, from the beginning, he wasn’t worried about whether or not Kuroba would continue to do volleyball or not, but about that?

“You showed your true colors, eh!”

Yorimichi’s loud voice suddenly rang out. Haijima glared suspiciously at him and Kuroba was also confused. Peeling his lips back in a vicious grin that made him draw back a little, Yorimichi continued to speak in a theatrical way.

“The infamous ‘Genius Setter’ of Meisei Middle School only thinks about satisfying his own desires, right?”

“Yori-chan? What are you talking about?”

“You were the one who wanted to know, Yuni. You asked why he came back here. That’s why I investigated.”

Haijima’s sharp gaze immediately moved to Kuroba. He did voice his doubts, but he thought the conversation ended there, so to think that Yorimichi would investigate it…

“Oops, you’re barking up the wrong tree if you’re blaming Yuni. It’s that ‘you reap what you sow’ kind of thing, right?”

Yorimichi came down from his bike and stepped on his cigarette to put it out. He thrust his hands into the pockets of his down jacket and approached him with bowlegs and swinging shoulders, looking particularly vulgar. “Move, Yuni,” he said, pushing Kuroba aside and standing before Haijima.

“I could have easily gotten the name of your school from your grandpa through mine. Well, I used Itoko though, since I’ve been given up on by Gramps. So when I quickly searched the net…oh look, there’s slander of the ‘Genius Setter’ who reigned over Meisei Middle until last year. The net sure is terrifyin’. Everything’s on there. Well, I guess it means you’re not liked very much.”

The more Yorimichi talked, the stiffer Haijima’s expression became. The color disappeared from Haijima’s face that seemed to embody the world’s arrogance and fearlessness, and his gaze dropped downwards. The shadow of Yorimichi, who was a size bigger in height and width, hung over the head of Haijima, who was looking down and biting his lower lip. “Oi oi, look at the poor guy, Yorimichi. Don’t bully middle schoolers. You’ll make him cry.” The two university students saying insincere things were completely taking the role of spectators.

“Yuni.”

“Huh? Y-yeah.”

Kuroba reflexively responded, unable to catch up with the conversation very well. Yorimichi’s face changed from that of someone tormenting a dying animal, and when he turned around, he was no longer smiling. It was an extremely serious expression.

“I don’t have anything against Chika, but I don’t really care. I think it’s petty to talk about other people behind their backs online. It’s all for you. Don’t get too absorbed in it. After all there was apparently someone who attempted suicide because of this guy——”

An instant later, Haijima barked something that couldn’t be expressed in words and grabbed Yorimichi. “Oh?” Although Yorimichi staggered a little, their physiques and amount of fight experiences were different. He grabbed Haijima’s face and thrust it aside, just like he was grabbing a ball—a dodgeball instead of a volleyball—with one hand and throwing it violently. Haijima was lightly blown off two or three meters away, the side of his face crashing into the muddy snow-covered road.

Because it was the first time he heard Haijima’s enraged voice, Kuroba was temporarily distracted by that. He hurriedly broke into Yorimichi’s path.

“Yo-Yori-chan, stop! Violence is no good!”

“He was the one who charged at me. Ah, it’d be no good for a sports boy to be violent, right? Didn’t you say that yourself? I’m being kind by ending it with just knocking him down.”

Yorimichi threw mocking jeers at Haijima over Kuroba’s shoulder. Kuroba turned around and ran up to Haijima, who was crouching and holding his hand to his face. “Oi, you’re alive…” he knelt down and was about to touch his shoulder, but what Yorimichi said flashed across his mind and he stopped his hand.

…Attempted suicide…?

“Let’s go back. My ass is frozen.”

Urging the two university students, Yorimichi returned to his bike.

“Yuni, get over here.”

Summoned, Kuroba looked up at the chin of Yorimichi, who was sitting astride his bike, but hesitated and returned his gaze to Haijima. His earlobe, which was poking out from the gaps between his hair, were terrifyingly white. No way, is he actually dead? He thought, but he saw a fist clenching the snow underneath his face pressed against the ground. Mud soaked into his white taping and stained it brown.

He couldn’t leave him here and go home.

“Even if you say go home, you won’t let me ride double anyways. I’ll send him home, okay?”

“Well, whatever.”

Yorimichi backed down easily with just a shrug of his shoulders. The sneering had already disappeared and he returned to his normal self.

“Don’t forget. Wash your hands of him as soon as possible. From his reaction, it doesn’t seem like those are groundless rumors. Be careful on your way home. I’m talking about the snowy roads and your teammate next to you.”

Perhaps Yorimichi also felt that he went a bit too far. He awkwardly turned his face away, made his engine roar its usual crude and vulgar sounds, and departed on the Komashi-gou.

***

“Mei from zayuu no mei and makoto, Meisei. (4) It’s called Meisei Private Academy Middle School. It’s a middle and high school in one, and their sports clubs are pretty strong. Apparently the distribution map of famous private schools is common knowledge among Kanto kids. You can’t really experience it here, can you? There aren’t enough schools to choose from. Hey, everyone’s gonna hang out in the city after the end-of term ceremony, so do you wanna come with us? I wonder if Haijima would come if we invited him. You guys have been getting along well lately.”

“Um, oh, yeah. If that’s all I can ask then I’m good for now. Thanks.”

He hung up first because it seemed like the conversation would never end if he left it alone.

Itoko said “Everyone”, so the group probably included girls. To tell the truth, he was really jealous of this merry spring break-like event. Normally he wouldn’t be able to refuse. But, it was only today that he couldn’t get into the mood at all. He was willing to bet that Haijima would never come either.

He put the phone handset next to the desk and turned towards the computer again. Since he had an agreement to not own a cell phone until high school, the only place he could access the Internet at home was the laptop in his dad’s study. When he tried to convert Meisei-chuu (5), he realized he didn’t know the kanji for it, and since Yorimichi said he learned it by way of Itoko, he called to ask her directly. Based on the current feeling, Yorimichi had really only gotten the school name, and it seemed he didn’t tell Itoko more than that. He felt relieved about that.

A school with a strong athletic department. If this school was that famous, then it might not be strange for there to be a rumor or two to float around the Internet. After all, there was even a message board titled “[Monshiro Town] Old Man Kuroba [Yokai]”—Yorimichi thought it was hilarious and told him about it, but Kuroba never searched for it because he was scared of learning the contents.

“Tokyo meisei academy middle school boys volleyball club attempted suicide”

He entered the search words, and just when he was about to click the search button, his finger stopped. He couldn’t easily press the key. Of course he was unbearably curious. But, he was afraid to find out the contents for that more than Grandpa’s message board.

“Yuni? Where are you?”

His mother’s voice came from somewhere on the other side of the sliding screen door. He twisted himself around on the tatami chair and raised his voice.

“In here! The study!”

“Why are you there? Aren’t you going to take a bath?”

“Okay!”

After thinking about it a little bit, he ended up pressing the backspace key to delete everything he typed in. Once he did so, he completely gave up, closed the computer and stood up.

Previous || Index || Next

[nomazee]

Learning Process

kozume kenma x reader; kenma/reader/kuroo friendship

word count: 1900+

content: fluff, developing friendship/relationship, friends-to-lovers (but the lovers is like... hinted at? mainly?), kuroo pov (still in second-person pov but centers around his perspective of everything), HOPEFULLY-accurate depictions of kenma’s personality.

cross-posted on my ao3

(hiya! here’s a oneshot for one of my favorite boys in haikyuu! this is a work that i’m a bit proud of just because to me, kenma is a very interesting and complex character and i was excited to try and give my take on him as a person and how he would interact with the reader as a character. in this, i mainly focused on the dynamics between kenma & reader in the eyes of a third-party (i.e. kuroo) because i thought that would be a cool thing to do. 

if you guys have any criticisms about how i portrayed both kenma and kuroo (because he’s definitely an interesting character too! and a bit difficult to write, too, in all honesty) please tell me! i always appreciate comments on how i can improve :)

without further ado here it is! hope you all enjoy!)

☾.:°∗★.:☆:.★∗°:.☽

Kuroo always thought the way you and Kenma interacted was interesting.

He refrained from using ‘weird’--scared that it would come off as harsh and paint you two as alienated and make you feel disconnected from others due to your nontraditional dynamics. That certainly wasn’t the case--you and Kenma weren’t weird, just different, interesting, and so on and so on.

Kuroo liked to observe. It’s what he did. Especially when it came to his two closest friends.

Kenma met you in your first years of high school, where you two were in the same class. Contrary to popular belief (“popular belief” being the conclusions drawn by the others on the volleyball team who were close enough to observe the way you three interacted), you did not grow up with him and Kuroo, and at the beginning you and Kuroo were completely separate beings--completely separate types of a friend for Kenma.

So, the ravenette hadn’t known about you until well into the break between Kenma’s first and second year. Kuroo always had an inkling of a suspicion that there was someone else, someone different that was just as familiar with Kenma as he was (maybe even more so), but he never pushed the topic too much, scared to push Kenma too far and make him shut himself out due to Kuroo’s constant pestering.

Kuroo knew you were different when Kenma took the initiative to let you two meet. He was enthusiastic, even. It was an emotion he rarely saw on the younger teen’s face, only peeking through his calm facade when he was playing a particularly engaging game.

Kenma had made plans (something that was a really big tell in how close you were to him) in order to properly introduce you to his childhood friend. And Kuroo watched you stumble into a cafe, scanning the room with your eyes briefly before locking onto the two of them in a booth and breaking out into a light, airy smile.

(He soon realized why Kenma wanted to sit across from him rather than next to him like he usually did when hanging out in groups. You took the adjacent seat rather quickly, and comfortably, something that Kuroo knew was a familiar action to you just by the way you and Kenma sat only millimeters apart.)

From that day on, Kenma began to involve you in his plans with Kuroo more often. Of course, the two boys still had their own alloted time for themselves but Kuroo became familiar with hearing words of “Maybe we should invite [Name].” or “[Name] probably wants to go there, too.” whenever he suggested going somewhere with the boy.

He couldn’t find it in himself to get frustrated or annoyed with you for taking time away from his and Kenma’s “guy time” --he wasn’t that childish. If anything, he appreciated you--as a person, as a friend, and especially as a friend of Kenma’s.

The latter, mainly because of just how purely comfortable you made Kenma.

Kuroo never saw Kenma act so soft as when he was with you. The descriptor was laughable--but accurate. Kenma was so relaxed and languid in your presence. It was especially strange to see how low his guard was in crowds--a side of Kenma so foreign to Kuroo, because no matter how many years Kenma spent being forced to open up (in a good way, of course) by Kuroo, crowds and cramped public spaces would always sent him in a frenzy of looklooklookanalyzeanalyzeanalzyefocusfocusfocus , and Kuroo had to slowly become familiar with methods to calm his friend down.

(It’s safe to say crowded areas weren’t really visited very often anymore, and hang-outs were naturally restricted to one of their homes or malls unnaturally early, when it was the emptiest.)

But visits to the malls on weekend afternoons became frequent as soon as you were added to their equation. Kuroo watched you and Kenma walk into packed merchandise stores, fluttering about excitedly (the excitement was mainly on your part) and pointing out things of interest, hand-in-hand.

That was another thing. Hand-in-hand. It was kind of funny.

It was another aspect of yours and Kenma’s dynamic Kuroo found different but good. It was another detail of how comfortable the half-blonde boy was with you. More often than not Kuroo had caught the two of you touching each other in some way--intimate, but not sexual, of course. It wasn’t strange to see you two holding hands under the table in a diner or sitting particularly close to each other on the train or, more rarely, caught in each other’s embrace--which Kenma didn't hesitate to reciprocate .

He once teased Kenma about it (with no real malice because, again, he really couldn't find it in himself to be genuinely annoyed with how comfortable you made his friend even in typically uncomfortable situations), with a friendly jeering “how come you never hold my hand?”

He didn’t expect a response any different from the typical scoff and change of topic. But Kenma was quiet. eyes shifting away from his handheld game console and locked onto the floor--a subtle indicator that he was searching for an eloquent response.

“She…” he began, trailing off before trying to pick up his train of thought once more. “She’s really… nice. She makes me feel nice.”

Kuroo found that to be a breakthrough in both the relationship between you and Kenma and Kenma himself. Not only did Kenma think of you on such a high level, but you made him feel nice--a phrase that could be taken in many different ways but no matter what, the connotations were overwhelmingly positive.

You made Kenma feel good--in general. You made him want to go to the mall. You made him feel calm in crowded places. You made him stop the subtle, constant habit of picking at his nails when he was nervous and overwhelmed. You made him want to come to practice. You made him want to wake up early.

You made him happy. Slowly, but surely, you were making him happy, you were making him motivated, you were opening up new possibilities for Kenma, changing him in subtle, helpful ways.

Kenma was still Kenma --Kuroo knew you hadn’t purposefully changed him in drastic ways and you didn't seem to plan to, either. Kenma still acted bothered by his teammates, by practice--he was still adverse to most social interactions and still had a sarcastic bite to his words. But internally he was changing, in ways Kuroo hadn’t seen before, and in ways that maybe most people wouldn’t be able to see simply because they hadn’t known Kenma for as long as he had.

Kuroo smiled, sitting next to Kenma on the couch of the setter’s living room. It was one of those rare days where you weren’t involved in their plans--Kuroo had invited himself over and Kenma didn’t bring up your name in the middle of their hang-out, so he took it as is and just let himself relax in the presence of his younger best-friend.

Kuroo thought for a moment, eyes focusing on nothing in particular as he subconsciously tuned out the sound effects coming from Kenma’s current game in favor of the distant static in his head. Now that he thought about it, he never really thought of you as anyone more than a friend of Kenma’s, but the way you two interacted potentially insinuated that you two had something more.

He almost laughed at himself. Hand holding, hugging, all these things--and the thought never passed his mind that the two of you could be dating?

Maybe it was just that he didn’t find a need to label you two. It wasn’t his relationship in the first place. It was the bond between his two closest friends, which was still something to care about (sometimes he thought he cared about it too much--all in good spirit, though), but Kuroo really only focused on how content you and Kenma were with each other. The thought of you being each other’s significant others was certainly plausible--but not a necessary component of your relationship.

Kuroo knew this. Kuroo knew that you two could be more than friends but less than lovers. Kuroo thought you two could be soulmates. In whatever way the word could be defined.

Coming back to reality, Kuroo glanced to the side at Kenma, who was slouched over and staring intently at the screen, thumbs moving in blurs across the controller.

“Hey, Kenma.”

There was silence. Looked like he wasn’t done with the level just yet. A minute passed. A little chime of victory emitted from the console and Kenma moved onto the next level, not before uttering a “yeah?” of acknowledgement.

“You and [Name],” the ravenette began. “Are you two dating?”

Kuroo watched as his friend froze at the straightforward nature of the question. His character died and he huffed out a short sigh of frustration as he restarted the level.

Kuroo forced himself to remain silent and let Kenma gather his thoughts for a minute. As expected, the boy eventually spoke up with a response. (Kuroo found familiarity in this interaction, like the last one he’d had with Kenma about you. He laughed a little to himself at how the situation just seemed to constantly come full circle.)

“No.” He responded bluntly, then. “We’re not.”

That last addition seemed significant--he could’ve left it at a one-word response like he normally might, but he added a clarification even though it wasn’t really needed. Call Kuroo an over-analyzer, but he knew how to read his friend. You’d hope he did, after all these years.

Kenma’s tone was not flat, Kuroo knew, mainly from body language rather than the actual sound of his voice. His eyes shifted from the screen, to the floor, to the arm of the sofa, and back to Kuroo.

The two friends sat in silence, watching each other. Kuroo didn’t know what he was searching for in Kenma’s gaze, and he didn’t know what Kenma was searching for, either. Maybe he wasn’t looking at him with a purpose, maybe just absentmindedly--or as an unspoken affirmation of all the thoughts and possibilities running through Kuroo’s conscious mind.

Moments passed, and Kuroo huffed out a laugh of amusement, starling and confusing his friend.

“Maybe… tell her.”

There was no need for elaboration. Kenma didn't question him, and even as he turned back to his game Kuroo knew he understood entirely what he meant by that.

That night, as Kuroo made the short walk back home, he found himself opening up his texts and finding your name, deciding to ask a simple question. Maybe he was nosy. Maybe he was curious. Maybe he wanted a confirmation for the thoughts and potential outcomes swirling through his head.

Do you love him?

He received a response in seconds.

‘Love’ is a bit of a strong word. But yeah. I do.

He refrained from responding, viewing the three moving dots on the left side of the screen until they were replaced with a rather lengthy message.

I know how he is. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m not going to hurt him or pressure him or do anything to rush him into something like this. I’m his friend before anything else.

Kuroo found himself smiling yet again. You really did know Kenma. So well. Scarily well. That was good, though. You were good.

And Kuroo knew that everything was fine, when weeks passed and he saw that you two still held hands. Still sat close on the trail. Still hugged and still went to malls and cafes, the three of you.

He knew that things were even better than fine when he saw you in the stands at one of their games, right near the front, waving to a certain setter and calling his name with sheer, unadulterated excitement seeping through your pores and lighting up your eyes.

He especially knew that things were great when a smile--a true, wide smile found itself creeping up across Kenma’s face.

[phoenixspirited]

kurama x yusuke, yusuke x hiei? the whole team urameshi?

Send me YYH Ships!

Ooh, so, okay, the thing is right away: pretty much every combination of Team Urameshi has ship potential. Yusuke/Kuwabara is my favourite quite obviously, since I basically feel like those two are soulmates, BUT, Yusuke/Kurama and Yusuke/Hiei are both interesting to explore and consider. 

Kurama x Yusuke

What made you ship it?

Not something I ship hardcore, or have delved into too much, but like I said, there’s definitely potential with all the Team Urameshi pairings. And with them, there’s a LOT of really nice fanart that was honestly really getting me for a short period of time, too. 

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I like that there’s a lot of mutual respect right away! Yusuke’s quick to trust Kurama, and Kurama becomes almost immediately fond of Yusuke due to his selfless assistance with his mother. I think they have a good balance as well. Yusuke with his hotheaded impulsiveness and Kurama with his colder, calculating nature. There’s also obviously some teasing in this relationship, as with all the dorks on this team, but I think they’re very sweet as a pair. I feel like they could talk to and offer each other a shoulder to lean on pretty easily. Yusuke’s soft and protective with Kurama, and during the Dark Tournament when he’s ready to fight the whole stadium for Kurama’s sake... that is some GOOD STUFF. 

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I guess just that as of now, I still prefer them as a brotp, even though I can see that the ship has great potential that I’d honestly be willing to write and further explore. 

Yusuke x Hiei

What made you ship it?

Again, not a huge ship for me, but I can for sure see the potential and the appeal. With these two, I’ve been finding more and more to like about their canon relationship recently too and have been wanting to explore the dynamic more. (And have started to with lumitrs!)

What are your favorite things about the ship?

I think Yusuke really helps to draw out a different side of Hiei, and with this side comes a heap of loyalty and devotion Hiei has for Yusuke (but won’t really admit to). I love how Yusuke has an understanding of Hiei and the type of person he is almost right away too. And in Chapter Black when everyone is doubting if Hiei will return to help, Yusuke’s the one who knew he would. I feel like Yusuke’s quick trust of Hiei and acceptance of him as a friend and teammate is something that Hiei needed. Hiei not only respects Yusuke greatly as a fighter and the two can always keep toe to toe, but he’s helped Hiei to stop being as much of a loner and to even start acknowledging humans a little more. And you know Hiei’s care for Yusuke runs deep when he tries to help him train for his fight against Sensui in his own way, and with how upset he gets when Yusuke dies, even prompting Kurama to think that the attempted revenge is the first time Hiei’s ever been willing to die for someone else’s sake. 

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

I don’t know anyone’s takes on this ship really and what’s “popular”, but I do feel like out of all three possible Yusuke ships with his teammates, this one would take the most work to maintain. They’ve got that respect and deep care for each other, but they’re both pretty similar in how they have tended to close off their emotions, and they’d have to work on opening up and being honest with each other as well as just trusting and respecting each other. And even with Yusuke being more or less a demon now, he still is more human than anything, and that would have to find a good balance with Hiei and his preference of all things demon. 

[onceuponakdrama]

Record of Youth KDrama Review

—

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Bingo Card for Record of Youth

Synopsis: Record of Youth (or Youth Record) follows the lives of young people in the world of modeling. Sa Hye-Jun [Park Bo-Gum] is smart and handsome. He is a nice guy and a popular model, but what he really wants is to become an actor. Meanwhile, An Jeong-Ha (Park So-Dam) works as a make-up artist. 

trigger warnings: death and sucide mentions, slight family abuse 

Overall Main Plot: Rating - 6 out of 10 

I think a major point in this drama is that it’s very realistic, which also means it’s a little angsty (considering it’s a melodrama). It also had subtle mentions of classism and how it impacts specific families, especially with the comparison of Hyejun’s family vs Hae Hyo’s family. Speaking of which, there’s a lot of family drama, which I feel is the main plot—other than Hyejun being able to achieve his dreams as a successful actor and dealing with the scandals of people trying to tear him down after his success. I did like the realism of it all, especially with the family dynamics due to past grudges being held or sibling favoritism, and by the end of it, things are actually solved as they talk to one another to work things out. The main plot was fairly satisfying with the success of Hyejun and the family dynamics. There’s also Jeongha being able to achieve her dreams of opening her own makeup shop and gaining happiness and success from it. However, there were a lot of problems with some of the elements within the main and side storylines. 

Plot Holes - there were so many holes throughout the plot that were started and eventually just dropped. Even the major ones were built up and ended up being anti-climatic. I was more excited with the build ups, but then ended up disappointed as it goes throughout. One example is with Haeyo’s family—his mother was doing all of this stuff, only to be so easily forgiven at the end with no real character development that all that interference with Hae Hyo’s and Haena’s careers means nothing. Again, it is a real problem of the rich parents having a hold on their children, but there’s no actual resolution. Another example is with Charlie Jung’s death, which was dragged on throughout the end. Like, why are they blaming his suicide on someone who just modeled for him? There was so many problems with the rumors they were spreading about him and I’m surprised they didn’t do anything about it other than suing them. Again, another real problem but it’s so poorly addressed and felt disappointing. 

Side Stories - I felt unsure about who this drama was about, since it kept including side stories of the more disliked characters, even when it had nothing to do with the main characters. While I liked that the main characters were resilient with their problems and pushed through, I hated that the side characters barely learned anything and continued to be in the storyline, even though they literally did not matter. I wanted more scenes with the more likeable characters and wanted to see how they would progress to contribute to the main storyline. It also would have been nice to actually see the change in people, considering how Hyejun and Jeongha had good faith in people towards those who didn’t deserve it. A part of me wanted them to snap (like when Jeongha poured water on that one lady’s head), but they would just continue to be the “bigger person” and it just felt so repetitive. 

Characters: Rating - 6 out of 10 

↣ Sa Hyejun [played by Park Bo Gum] - I felt so bad for him throughout the entire drama. He was clearly the black sheep of the family and also the scapegoat, especially in the eyes of his father and brother. I was really rooting for his success, which I knew would come soon at some point. He’s also super soft and it was endearing when it comes to his grandpa, mother, and Jeongha, but that was really bad in terms of his career. I didn’t want him to turn out completely ruthless, but I did want him to grow a bit more of a backbone. It just felt like a bit of waste because he remained consistent throughout (which is good) but there was no actual growth to him as a character. The whole thing about him is that he’s “good” or “pure” and everyone kept pressuring him to be more “fierce” in the acting industry. I kind of did want that, but I think he was already strong—in the sense that he knew what he wanted and which way he wanted to go, without others’ interference. I did like that aspect of him, but, again, the growth is nonexistent. 

↣ Ahn Jeongha [played by Park So Dam] - I actually really liked her character because she felt so real. I really connected with her and her sense of realism, but also dreaming of a happier life. I admired her for quitting a stable job to pursue something bigger in life and how she acknowledged the difference in her fantasy (the idea) of Hyejun vs how he was in real life. She was also very independent, but it caused to be a problem because she didn’t want to accept help from others. I felt that she was a great character. While it did go a bit downhill towards the end, I still understood where others were coming from. (Others have mentioned how she got less airtime and became a side character in her own drama, which is true, but they also said she became weaker at the end by breaking things off with Hyejun.) I don’t think she became weaker; I think she grew to be more aware of her limits and wanted to expand herself to obtain her goals. However, I would have liked more time being dedicated to her to see as to how she became successful at the end. We got to see Hyejun, but we didn’t see much of Jeongha and it felt pretty disappointing because she had a lot of potential to grow as well. 

↣ Won Hae Hyo [played by Byeon Wooseok] - okay. There’s a lot here. I just wanted to say, I liked him in the beginning and I like that he continued his friendship with others... but, I really did not like him much beyond that. That’s because he was so jealous after the whole Hyejun being more famous and being compared and not to mention he kept going after Jeongha even though he knew Hyejun and her were dating. Like sir. You are not that great. I felt bad for him because his mom is the whole reason to why he even has a career in acting, but then he just accepted it as his strength? I was so confused because that’s not a strength, that’s just money that’s not even his. I guess the writers were trying to give him some development, but even then, it wasn’t much and it didn’t make any sense. He was one of those rare second leads that I was not rooting for at all and did not care much about; I was just annoyed. 

Personal Notes: I really liked Hyejun and Jeongha. They are so pure and deserved everything, but I really did not like that they kept believing the good in people when those people didn’t deserve it. There was not much character development, which is why the rating is lower even though the main characters were my favorite. I also wanted to take this opportunity to say that Hyejun’s father and brother were the absolute worst—that is until his father apologized in the end, which is super late, especially after he hit him and still thought Hyejun would mention him during his acceptance speech at the award ceremony, but like... Jesus. His brother was also annoying in the sense that he was so arrogant for no reason and so two-faced about Hyejun’s career like, dude, just be honest with each other. However, I will give it props for a real family dynamic, although we could have lived without a bit of it. 

Romance: Rating - 9 out of 10 

On the contrary to the rest of the plot, I absolutely loved this non-problematic couple. I thought the build-up of the romance was natural and, when they were in their relationship, it felt so nice to see in comparison to everything else that was happening. I really liked their scenes together and it felt so wholesome because I was rooting for both of their successes and their romance. The only thing I didn’t like was the breakup, but like... I understood the reasons behind it and also kdrama writers always have to have some kind of break-up and time skip even though it is not necessary. They reminded me of the drama, Love O2O, in the sense that the couple had great, natural chemistry, but everyone around them was the problem and that’s the only annoying thing about the drama. Other watchers said their romance was kind of bland, but I think it was nice because it was so natural—their banter, the interactions, the support they provided for one another. This is one of the dramas to watch for the romance, especially since it was so light. 

Second Plot/B-Plot and Secondary Characters: Rating - 4 out of 10 

I felt like this is one of those rare dramas, where the people around the main characters are the most annoying parts and they don’t even drive the plot. They’re just there. Other than Hyejun’s grandpa, Jinu and his family (because they’re so supportive and cute), Haena, Subin, and Minjae (although, she is debatable of how often she meets with Tae Su), I wanted everyone else to die off. Even the antagonists didn’t feel like they served a specific purpose other than to annoy. I thought the ex-girlfriend (Ji-Ah) was going in a good direction towards the end where she was gonna be friends with Jeongha and Hyejun, but we never heard from her again. Again, this drama doesn’t seem to really resolve the problems they’ve built up throughout the entire drama. I did like the sub-romance of Haena and Jinu and they deserved better—I wish they had more time together in the last episode where they just broke things off or we would have a reunion or something. There was also the whole Minjae thing; I liked her, I really did, but she really needed to stop meeting with Tae Su. Speaking of which, Tae Su was never given any redemption or arch—he just continued to be annoying with Do Ha and I really wanted him to crash and burn. Instead, we get this desperate attempt for him to win back Hyejun even though he treated him so horribly. This was just bad writing to the max and some of them had real potential to do more. 

Additional Notes: 

Aesthetic and Color - this drama has a lot of good aesthetics and colors. I think it really set the vibe of a more chill drama, but it’s actually a melodrama. I think it just felt more like a relaxing drama because of the colors and softer ost. It has nothing to do with the plot, but if it matters to you... just a note. 

I mentioned earlier on the notes of classism that the drama portrayed, which felt very real. At first, I thought it was ridiculous that Hae Hyo was more successful than Hyejun because Hyejun is clearly more attractive and the entertainment industry loves that. But, then I saw more, like how Hae Hyo was pulled out of the modeling agency faster, he had those connections, etc. Even as Hyejun got more successful, there was the difference of Hyejun quitting his jobs and paying his family’s debt and house vs Hae Hyo doing acting for fun (ish) before he was to take over his father’s academy or something. 

THE REPORTER - I was gonna mention this in the secondary characters, but then I realized she doesn’t need to take over that whole section. She was great as an antagonist, but she was so annoying and stupid. She didn’t bother to check any of the facts and just published stuff because she wanted to take down Hyejun. There’s also the fact that she never apologized, formally speaking. She just accepted the charges and we didn’t get a scene of the two of them and that was a lost opportunity. I also hated how she said she was a reporter, but acted like a writer. Like, girl—go write drama scripts then since you want all the drama. It was all so stupid. 

Overall Rating: 6 out of 10

Recommended? 

↣ Yes: this is a drama about family and rebuilding those connections. If you like romance as a side/sub-plot, this is a drama for you. There’s a lot of emotional drama, so if you like that side of acting more rather than comedic, this is also a good choice. The romance is also very great; it’s very healthy and lots of communication is built throughout—it’s very natural. There’s also a lot of hope in this drama, in the sense that Hyejun has been going nowhere and then he manages to get the success he’d been aiming for and seeing that progression is very satisfactory. 

↣ No: this is very slow-built; if you are more easily frustrated, maybe just pass on it. Again, there’s a lot of frustration on the characters as well: both main and side characters. There’s also the family drama, which the center of this drama, so if you wanted more of a romantic comedy, this isn’t for you either. There’s also the love triangle trope, but there’s no second lead syndrome since the second lead is kind of jerky considering he’s after his friend’s girlfriend. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #332

i’m even more tired than before to try and think up song lyrics, i’m pasting from Word and then fucking off to bed lmao.

What was the last video message you received on your phone? I think it was a clip of Doris (Sara's beardie) eating and just being her perfect self? Was your last birthday cake homemade or store bought? Store-bought. One thing you miss about middle school? Shit, nothing. Middle school was the worst. Do you have any shirts signed by famous people? No. Have you ever entered an art competition? Yes. Would you ever pierce yourself? No. I am very much about having a professional do your body mods/art. Plus, I have tremors in my hands. Do you live in a safe neighbourhood? Supposedly. We haven't lived here nearly long enough to know. What is the last thing you did that shocked someone? /shrug Do you often find yourself questioning your future? Only always. Have you ever been for a ride in the back of a truck? Yeah. Do you like your license photo? I hate my permit picture. Are you into superheroes? Who’s your favorite? Not very, but I like 'em enough. I always say my favorite is Deadpool, but I know he's technically an anti-hero, but whatever. If you don't include him, uhhhh... maybe Spiderman. Have you started watching any new TV shows recently? No. Have you ever been able pet a normally wild animal, like a tiger or dolphin? No. :( At least, not to my recollection. Have you ever eaten snow? Yeah. There's actually a winter treat 'round here that you make with snow and sugar called snow cream. Good stuff. What is the messiest area in your home? Right now, the spare room/my wanna-be "office." What’s your favorite computer game genre? Still horror, like video games. Do you have any exes your parents never liked? No. Have you received financial help from your parents in the past 5 years? I'm completely financially dependent on them still. Are you a fast or a slow eater? I eat like, stupid fast, but without being messy. People *cough*Mom*cough* will absolutely point it out, but I seriously can't help it. Making a conscious effort to eat slow feels way too weird. What was the last thing you purchased from a small local business? I don't know. Is there anyone in your family/household whom you frequently argue with? No. Have you ever used chewing tobacco? Ew, no. Tell me what's on your mind? I've been considering yet again reaching out to some tattoo parlors and asking if they're open to hiring someone to handle the front desk and take care of business besides actually performing piercing and tattooing, given my tremors. My group therapy has kinda been encouraging me to use the possibility for social exposure, and besides, I'm very comfortable in the environment and just general aura of tat parlors. I'm sure I'd have to answer the phone, handle money, and obviously talk to costumers, but I know and accept that. I've been at such a stagnant point with my social anxiety in particular that I have to start pushing back harder, and doing this I feel would be one of the most relaxed, social job positions I can hopefully handle. I don't dare to even try this though until I get vaccinated to protect my immunocompromised mom. Writing this all out has actually been pretty encouraging about this idea... Do you wish you never dated someone you dated? Yeah, Tyler. It was such a "I'm lonely and he was nice in high school, so we'll try it" situation. I got nothing from it. Are you scared of growing old alone? Pretty badly. What are you listening to right now? I'm listening to/semi-watching John Wolfe play the remaster of Resident Evil 2. What breed was the last dog you saw? He was a German shepherd. Would you ever go swimming during a thunderstorm? No. Any time a thunderstorm was brewing and I was in the pool, I'd always get out. What is the next concert you will attend? Mom and I plan to see Ozzy when/if he reschedules his tour after he had to cancel with his Parkinson's diagnosis. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy. :/ What's the highest science class you have taken? I don't know, actually. What makes you squeal like a school girl? No shame, seeing Mark and Amy do something cute together actually does this, lmao. What’s your favorite symbol? (i.e. the pentagram, the cross, etc.) Do fictional ones count? Because in that case, the Halo of the Sun from the Silent Hill franchise. I'm getting it tattooed somewhere at some point, I'm thinking the left side of my neck. I'm either gonna fashion it in a way where it looks branded on or carved into me. Have you ever been on anti depressants? For all of my pre-teen, teen, and some of my adult life. Apparently, I've only had one truly educated psychiatrist out of no less than a dozen I'd seen, because he fixed me right up. He taught me that those who suffer from bipolarity should avoid anti-depressants; they ramp up your bipolar symptoms. Instead, mood stabilizers are favorable. And what do you know, after I was prescribed a stabilizer and a catalyst for that medication, my depression decreased dramatically and became handleable. Have you ever starved yourself? Kinda. What’s the stupidest name you’ve ever given a pet? I had a guinea pig named Harry Potter. For no particular reason lmao. I'm not even a Harry Potter fan. Do you have nice legs? God no. Do you like fedoras? Okay so I know I am in the strong minority, but I actually do, haha. What is your favorite food group? Carbs. @_@ Have you ever got told that you should be a model? No, but one of the most flattering indirect compliments I've ever gotten was being mistaken for one. Jason's phone wallpaper was one of my favorite pictures of myself with my first snake, and someone asked him if I was a model. ;v;' What song is in a language you don’t speak, but you love it anyway? "Donaukinder" by Rammstein is one of my faves. Who’s a villain you sympathize with and why? SOBS Darkiplier bc his origins are so damn tragic and unfair. What book do you think should be directed as a film? Was The Giver ever made into one? I don't remember that book well, but I do recall it being absolutely beautiful. Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say? No. Have you ever edited Wikipedia? No. Have you ever edited any other wiki? Yeah. I have thousands on the Silent Hill wiki, where I'm one of the admins. I'm also a content moderator at the Team Ico (Shadow of the Colossus devs) one. Every now and again I used to go on the meerkats wiki as well, where I mainly fixed the fucking nightmarish grammar. Very briefly, I edited at the Dragons of Atlantis wiki as well. Do you get scared when you know some virus or sickness is being passed? Not very, but of course I still acknowledge the risk and am more conscious of hand washing and stuff. What popular social media platforms AREN’T you on? Snapchat, I don't actually use my Twitter, I don't have a personal Instagram... There may be more, idk. Is TikTok a "social media platform?" Because I don't have that, either. What was the name of the first porcelien doll you got? Never had one, given I was afraid of dolls as a kid. What’s your favorite Paramore song? "Decode." Would you be happy with a life without romance? To be entirely honest, I'd feel like I was missing something. Was your childhood happy? Mostly. What fundamentally matters do you? Love, kindness, peace, all that gooey stuff. Is true world peace ever possible? As much as I hate to admit it, I don't think so. The human population is far too big to come to a unanimous agreement on anything. Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? Yeah. Would you ever own a pet black widow spider? No. I'm getting more into the idea of owning invertebrates (I jabber enough about wanting tarantulas, and there are others, like mantises, I'm interested in as pets), but black widows, I'm not into the idea of having. Too venomous for me to be comfortable risking. If you have a job, what is the longest shift that you've worked? N/A Do you know all of the words to "Bohemian Rhapsody?" FUCK YES I DO. ^ Do you sing it with all of the different voices? sho nuff Do you own more than one copy of a certain book? No. Do you like interpreting poetry or just reading it for fun? Both. I love symbolism, so I get joy out of digging for subtle meanings in poems. Do you have a favorite Dr. Suess book? Yeah, it was always Green Eggs and Ham. Do you watch The Walking Dead? If so, favorite character? Not the show, but I've watched let's plays of the games, haha. In which case Clementine is inarguably one of the best female characters in a video game universe. Who has/had the most mature romantic relationship you’ve seen with your own eyes? Uhhh. I mean I never saw them much, but probably my late grandmother and her last husband. He was fucking incredible to her, and Grammy adored him as well. They helped each other so much and just obviously had the purest love between them. When was the last time you got something for free (legally)? What was it & have you enjoyed it so far? Lmao do balls in Pokemon GO count? Their occasional free boxes are the reason I can play the game because PokeStops are essentially non-existent here, so yes. What is the one fruit you can’t stand to eat? How about vegetable? The first one that came to me were oranges. I enjoy orange juice, but I just caaaaannot with the white veiny shit that you can't totally get off when peeling it. Without that, I might actually enjoy them, but idk. As for vegetable, asparagus is absolutely abhorrent. When’s the last time you actually recited the pledge? If you aren’t American, do/did you have anything similar in your country that you do during a time at school? Probably not since high school. Last person you shared food with? Ummm I have no idea. It's really just Mom and me here and we eat our own stuff. What was the last song you heard for the first time and enjoyed? I believe it waaas... "Down In The Park" by Marilyn Manson, maybe. If your life was a TV show, what would be the theme song? My inner high school emo just screamed "All Signs Point to Lauderdale" by AD2R. Who are some of your favorite female fictional characters, and why? Gahdamn, there's a lot. I don't feel like going through a mental list in my head and then describing why. A character (in anything) you wish hadn’t been killed off? Vol'jin; I think the entire WoW fanbase will forever be pissed about it. It was THE most "lul we dunno what 2 do w/ him anymore, let's let a totally random, unnamed, unimportant demon kill him" like what the fuck, Blizz. Most of his "oomph" was in the book, and I just really wish they'd done so much more with him in the game. Has anything “cute” happened in the past week? Off the top of me noggin, no. When did you last say “I love you”? Did you mean it? Yesterday to Sara. OF course I did. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times? Hi, PTSD, how are ya. Have you ever slept all day? Essentially. When I was on a larger dose of my anxiety med, I physically couldn't stay up for barely even five minutes, and when I'd lie back down, boom, I was OUT. I stayed on that dosage for I think just that one day, it was so bad. Can you have kids? Well, I have a functioning menstrual cycle, so I would assume so. Doesn't mean I will, though. What colors of mascara have you worn on your lashes? Only black. Do you like eating sour things? Hell yeah, I love sour stuff, candy in particular. Do you like pickles? fuuuuck yeah Did you ever have a really close friend move away? Yeah, in elementary school. I feel bad I can't remember her name at the moment... What's the most creative thing you've ever done? I mean, I guess the things I've written in RP. What's the most creative thing someone has done for you? For me? I don't really know. Do you like to watch ghost-hunting shows? Sure, they're some of my favorites. What’s something you’d like to be better at? Social interaction. Have you ever stayed up to talk to someone who was sad? Yeah. Do you think you would make a good parent? No. I know I wouldn't. The only time I ever wanted kids was with Jason, and honestly, I really hope I don't end up with a man because I never want to deal with that urge again and make a mistake. I'm just in no way emotionally fit to be a mother. How many best friends do you have? Just one. What do you cry over the most? My PTSD, honestly. I never sob about it anymore, just shed some tears. What language did/do you take in high school? Latin for one semester, then all four available for German. Which sports do you follow? None. Who was the last person you talked about marriage or having kids with? About marriage, Sara. Kids, the subject was lightly touched upon with Girt, though "with" was never a part of it, but obviously implied seeing as we were dating with long-term in mind. Have you ever been in a house fire? No, thankfully. Have you ever made out for one straight hour? them is rookie numbers Are you any good at remembering phone numbers? No. I literally don't even know my own, nor my mother's. I need to fix that. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex? Girt. Do you have a bookshelf? If so, just one or how many? No. If I gave you twenty bucks what would you do with it? Save it to go towards Venus' terrarium. Is there a movie from your childhood that you still watch today? Well of course! I'm unashamed to watch any "kids" movie I enjoy, like Disney ones. Most "kids" movies tend to be better than those intended for adults, it seems... Are you afraid of mice? Oh no, I adore mice and I think had a pair as pets before I got rats. What type of souvenir do you usually purchase when on vacation? I can't really answer this; I haven't gone on nearly enough vacations to develop a theme. I can say confidently though it'd probably be something small. If you could see any musical on Broadway right now, what would it be? I don't enjoy musicals. Have you ever watched Doctor Who? One or two with Sara, yes. I know we at least watched the weeping angels episode. If you read, which book or series did you enjoy most as a child? Warriors by S.E. Hinton. Sometimes I wanna get back into them, but I am YEARS behind and more into Wings of Fire anyway, so. I don't read nearly enough for both. How do you get rid of your hiccups? Literally no trick seems to work for me. I just suffer lmao.

[seancamerons]

First line game

Tagged by nobody !! Thank you for the tag, I genuinely love these things 🧡

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories! See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favourite authors! (I don't know if it's last 20 posted or last 20 WIPs so we're gonna compromise and do last 10 posted and last 7 WIPs I've been working on!) Favorite authors: @reinhartroleplays and i’m not sure but theodorathayer from ff.net and ao3 come to mind idk if she’s on here.  The starred ones are my favorites. 

---

WIP 

Summer Daze It's July 2004 and Emma and Chris aren't doing well together. Between Chris being somewhat distant, temperamental and preoccupied with music and overall lack of communication between the pair Emma assumes it'll only be a matter of time before their relationship is over. They talk everyday but the romance leaves a lot to be desired.

Maybe this Christmas Emma Nelson awoke bright and early 7:00 AM to her alarm buzzing and she was anything but chipper. It was a cold December morning and she shivered once she took the blankets off her in her king-sized bed. Together Forever * Emma Nelson spent her summer days by the pool catching rays and nights at the ravine with someone unexpected - Jay Hogart. Summer fling, nothing committed or serious. Its August 2005 and the living is rather easy. Backtrack The bells on the door jingle as a figure trudges in to the warmth of The Dot, the neighborhood eatery at closing time on a Saturday night. The streets were bare aside from a few cars; it's at this time that Emma typically closes down shop and goes home. She carefully picked up a cup left behind at a table to send to the back. Focused on her craft she didn't really budge making sure she didn't drop anything. She often believes it's not a normal workday if at least one mug breaks. I Have Nothing * '...I can never forget how we ended on such bad terms with that fight, and then he left my heart bleeding in his hands as I crumbled my photograph meant for him. It sucks how it haunts me to see him every day,' Emma writes in her bright red diary with a pen as she takes a sip of Jack Daniels straight from the bottle. She sighs and then finishes, 'he was so not who I thought he was.' She almost had half the mind to tear out the entry crumble it into the trashcan like she did that photograph. This was how Emma spent most weeknights in the basement bedroom getting plastered and writing her thoughts in a diary.  Orange Car of Secrets (Hiatus) Emma Nelson, Jay Hogart and Ellie Nash have just piled into the car and were en route back home. It was around six o'clock. The sun was orange in the sky and the air was stale. The three were hungry, sweating and dirty still from the sand lingering in their clothes. It had been a long day and a day of ages for the misfit ragtag group of acquaintances. Emma had longingly looked out the window to see their friend, Sean Cameron being ripped from their lives and their memories. She saw he had tears in his eyes. Judging by his demeanor it was difficult for him to say his goodbyes. One thing that struck her as strange was he hadn't even said goodbye to her. The wordless look was all she needed to get her by. It was worth a thousand goodbyes. Maybe his goodbye to her was just the hardest one because of their past that he more than made up for in the last twenty-four hours or so. The Starlet and the Dealer (Discontinued) Zoe Rivas, child-starlet was the epitome of popular with teenaged girls. She was just sixteen herself. Piles and piles of both open and unopened letters handwritten and typed come from girls all over, some in English some in other languages that only a translator could read litter her bedroom. If the girls knew her day to day life they likely wouldn't have had such nice things to say. Honestly, they would have probably of text messaged and tweeted their thoughts or anonymously hurl threats from a computer screen. 

One-Shots/Drabbles

Why don’t you believe me? *

Sean entered the main vestibule at the courthouse handcuffed with an officer present for court. Emma's mind was flooded with sadness as she saw him battered and bruised.

Mutual

The words turned her world from bright and innocent full of hope in the air to darken shades of monochrome. Fortunately for Emma, there was still a lingering light still flickering in the distance. Although Archie had only been her family for a short time, he was always around and she never would be able to fathom a world without him.

Homecooked Meal

The first day of school was pretty eventful for Sean but he was glad that it's over. After the final bell rings he makes the trek to caf to see Sheila the lunch lady. He hadn't seen her all summer and he had to stay behind in Simpson's class because he wanted to talk to him so he missed lunch.

Addicted

I didn't mean to see that you know, see him scoring drugs on the street corner from one of those sketchy thugs down the street. I was buying the newest installment of the Fortnight book series to sink my teeth into, no pun intended. Maybe fun intended, maybe I should put down Fortnight, I'm too old for vampire fantasies not when very real ones exist in my life.

Unfinished Business *

The only time we can be together is while she's asleep, how lame does that sound? I can stay in her house forever if I wanted to. I was invited there even if she doesn't want to acknowledge me. It's my fault she doesn't listen to my messages or chooses to ignore them. I get that now and if she resents me forever it'll hurt. She never mentions me. My name is Cam, but I know you were thinking I might as well be named Casper the friendly. . wait for it don't finish. 

Honesty Maya Matlin stood still for a moment, playing back the recent moment in her mind as it echoed and swam through her brain. "I should've just kissed you." He whispered just inches from her, his eyes wide. Her eyebrow raised and then he just walked away. She knew he meant every word. Girlfriend of the Month * Sean Cameron like most guys his age found himself in the bathroom more often than not in search of reading material. He had the house to himself for the day, his girlfriend was out with friends and he could pretty much do whatever he wanted on that day. Since his long-time girlfriend Ellie moved in he found it more or less refreshing to see that she subscribed to some magazines but most of the reading material is not anything that is remotely of interest to him. A smiling blonde beauty graced the cover of this month's Girltrash magazine and in his boredom he picked it up reluctantly. He didn't expect that kind of magazine of Ellie to own because of it's preppish style of writing but sometimes he struggles to expect the unexpected.

The Reunion Even though Sean never graduated and was expelled from Degrassi he still managed to get invited to the class reunion for the class of 2007. Sean technically never graduated from the school, but he always considered it his high school despite getting his high school equivalency a short time after his expulsion. He can't believe it's been a little over 10 years since he last has seen some of his long time friends. He spent those years growing as an individual. He achieved most of his personal goals for example he owned his own garage called Cameron's Custom Cars. He was also going stag by choice because he wanted his reemergence to be a surprise to his old friends and best of all he was single. He was briefly seeing a girl but it was mostly casual on his end and his mind was always elsewhere. When Liberty received the email that he was making the reservation she knew she was the only one who knew and while she knew Emma was on student council she made absolutely sure she had no clue he was coming.