#but it's just fun. just listening to an album for fun & going ''hey and rotating this to that'' for fun as well. we're out here

[unproduciblesmackdown]

speaking of rotating tayston. adjudged this peak [rotating tayston] lmao

[nientedal]

📓📓📓 (for the "explain the plot of a fanfiction that you haven't written but daydream about" ask game!)

OK so here's one: LINK

I have another one in which Roxanne receives a mysterious CD, or perhaps a flash drive, and it's full of orchestral/symphonic music. She does not know who it's from. The music is lovely but she can't find any matches for it online. People in music forums are stumped. And based on some of the track names, it was made for her.

She brings it to one of the sound guys at work and he emails her later and says you know, it's weird - this stuff sounds like it's being played by a full symphony, but the track metadata shows signs of intense layering. I'd estimate this is all played by one or two, maybe four people tops. Multi-instrumentalists playing everything over and over and over and then layering it all together into something big.

So, she's got a CD full of music, no idea where it came from or who made it. Made for her by someone (or a very few someones) not only writing pieces but playing them repeatedly and constructing them, which is...she's torn between "creepy" and "deeply impressively flattering." She finally goes with both, and goes home wracking her brain for who the fuck would send her this--

Because the thing is. The thing. Is. The emotion in some of these pieces is... a lot. The one called Roxanne sounds like being in love, honestly, and holy shit, whoever wrote it... she wants to meet them, creepy or no, because the OTHER thing is, there was no note. And there continues to be no note. Weeks and then months go by and there is no indication that anyone is ever going to follow up about it or demand anything from her, and that's honestly the weirdest part of everything.

It's Megamind, of course. Of course it is. And Minion as well - Minion does the vocals with words, because Megamind can sing but he sings like whales or trombones sing, he can't do singing with words, it doesn't work. Minion does percussion as well, and some strings. They both do strings. And Megamind does all the woodwinds and brass, because you do sort of need air for those and Minion doesn't breathe, and Megamind does the solo wordless vocals. He has quite a range.

And there's a couple of ways I have Roxanne find out about this. One I'm fond of is that she works out where Evil Lair is and she gets inside, and she finds them working on one of these pieces. This possibility is also fun to imagine WITHOUT the CD sent to her in the mail -- she just comes in and they're recording music?? Somewhere she can hear, which is implausible, but shhhhhhhh, it's my fic in my head and it doesn't have to make perfect sense. Another way she might find out is for Minion or Megamind to be absently humming part of one of the motifs and she recognizes it-- or SHE hums one of the motifs (i don't know, she's bored and tied to a chair, zoning out, humming happens) and one of them jumps and goes a bit googly-eyed and she realizes oh hey, yeah, these two could pull that off.

There is also a variant in which Megamind intentionally shows her some of it because they are on a date for completely unrelated reasons, and his response to is villainy really ALL you do is no, I also write and perform orchestral compositions. And Roxanne is like, you're shitting me.

This is a fun one to play with while driving and listening to Thomas Bergersen's Sun album. There's one track on there titled Our Destiny which has a lot of trumpets and sounds just a bit like Metro Man's theme, which is actually what kicked this off-- they're old nemeses, they're on decently good terms, it would be fucking hilarious if Megamind anonymously put together a piece for some event or other and then showed up to be the pianist or something.

But yes, fun things to play with while driving and listening to music while rotating my blorbos in my head :D

[mapsofnonexistentplaces]

Have you been listening to a specific album recently (or several) ? Do you want to talk about it if it has lore a story in it weird stuff what you like or don't in it etc ?

HMM honestly havent been listening to a lot of music because ive been going through shriekcast and thats been taking up most of my days instead. when a podcast is good it can occupy me....

that being said ive been listening to a lot of random songs by adrian belew famous guy who smiles like hes in a toothpaste commercial. been rotating the 80s king crimson albums a lot especially the songs neal and jack and me, neurotica, three of a perfect pair, thela hun ginjeet and uhhhh honestly the bulk of discipline. really scratches the prog pop itch i always have in my mind

OH special song ive been rotating around a lot actually. man with an open heart the fucking bassline (thank you tony) and little vocal melody in the opening passage and chorus is sooooo fucking good its been stuck in my mind for days. driving me insane

ive also talked it up a bunch before and it is very much the voicecanon i have for beatrix you know it but uhhhh i will do it again. the specific tone he uses in this rendition of prozakc blues drove me insane for a few weeks never hurts to remind myself of it. on some tom waits shit its fun. love it when a dude sounds weird

ive also been looking into his solo stuff a lot though im not too deep into it yet. big electric cat especially that song has a fun sound to it. its about cat. good shit

HOWEVER one thing i have been listening to a lot is like. stuff he's done guitar work on mostly because its like the first time ive ever actually payed attention to what guitars sound like in a song and genuinely gone "oh hey. thats fucking cool" first one i can think of is talking heads' the great curve.... also apparently this dude played guitars on a couple of nin albums, the song where is everybody sticks out in my mind because upon a relisten Its very obvious hah. scratchy style is everywhere

OTHERWISE just to prattle off things quick. been getting into frank zappa i like his apostrophe album has some fun grooves in it and i like that guys voice even if it sounds like hes gonna fuck me. also been getting back into the volta i still love frances the mute with my liiiiife. numero uno. remind me to like make a brief lore explanation of the thing one of these days because i know i promised it ages ago and never delivered.... itd be especially fun now considering the official lore for it dropped in the documentary and its a been awry from the common fan perception of it for complicated reasons

[meat-wentz]

Could you maybe give me some band recommendations I need a second band to obsess over lol

oh my gosh yes

these are kind of on constant rotation throughout my life:

dear and the headlights- hey listen do you ever wanna get punched in the fucking chest by a band that only has two albums and can lyrically slap you in the face with the most yearning you've felt ever in your life probably? then dear and the headlights is the band for you, these guys sound like they lost their virginity in a field in michigan and never got over the heartbreak of it all. midwesty sounding post-emo (despite being from arizona). both albums are some of my fave albums ever.

electric six- camp as fuck, the campest band, so fucking fun with real sick tunes. dick valentine frontman of ever. great videos. rock and roll and sexy sex and songs that make you feel what it must be like to be a handsome penis probably. fire is my fave album it's just full of wall to wall bangers.

bayside- i don't nearly see enough bayside appreciation as i thought i would on here, but bayside is just oh my god they're the most "cooler older brother" emo band out there they make me feel like i need to fucking punch drywall and get drunk off shitty beer in a garage and start yellin and they legit did not have to go that hard on the video for devotion and desire, i think about those hot nuns on the daily. my personal fave albums are bayside, acoustic, the walking wounded, and sirens and condolences.

bright eyes- man conor really just does it for me. always has always will. fave albums are lifted and fevers and mirrors.

pierce the veil- i will occasionally see ptv appreciation on the dash which makes my whole heart soar. i love ptv. they don't miss. every album is a banger, their new album is a banger. i would literally throw my whole body in front of a moving vehicle for jaime. literally have never gotten over so many ptv lyrics like "i'm gonna tear out the thread one by one from your skin till your bones feel embarrassed from all the attention." bruh. fave albums are selfish machines, collide with the sky, and the jaws of life.

the bluetones- my babies i want to hold them i want to cradle them i am obsessed with them. this is music to stare out car windows to for all occasions and emotions. fave albums are return to the last chance saloon and science & nature. (the basement song, sleazy bed track, if, autophilia or how i learned to stop worrying and love my car are all songs that make me feel inexplicable).

anyways here's some more on rotation:

brandston

braid

the promise ring

skating polly

failure

be your own pet

metric

tricot

fall of troy

speedy ortiz

fountains of wayne

jawbox

joyce manor

the replacements

the rapture

[awoooniper]

hey! @trans-seraphim tagged me in a thing saying to share 5 songs i’ve been listening to a lot so here. no particular order other than when i come up with them:

Molly Sells Molly By The Sea Shore - sorry mom

i’ve been listening to a lot of sorry mom lately but i’m not going to be doubling up artists here so i’m putting this one forth. they just released an album and it’s quite good. shoutout to horny angry sad dirtbag femme punks. i’m one of those.

Crane Your Neck - Lady Lamb

a certain somebody has left an absolutely unmistakable Reid-shaped mark on my recent music listening history. a lot of this album has been in the rotation especially this absolute banger about the starving agony of yearning and wanting. :).

Paper Boats - Darren Korb & Ashley Barrett

i love the Supergiant games. i listen to a lot of the Hades soundtrack but this song from Transistor is just. supreme. it’s about the people you are bound to.

Spent Gladiator 2 (Jordan Lake Session) - The Mountain Goats

you know i’m listening to the goats. recently i got high and put this song on loop while i was making and eating dinner and i think i listened to it a full 20 times. and then i kept listening to it. i like the bass line. just stay alive.

i’m not crying you’re crying - Pinkshift

i said i’m not doubling up on artists but i didn’t say shit about genres and i’ve been on a big girl/femme punk kick lately and again the whole album this song is from is very good. i think i’m a Pinkshift girlie. this is a song about opening up and winding up regretting it.

anyway i’m tagging @sylviii @nvrlernd2-reid @void-seraphim @youre1nmaya and @lo-sulci! u obvi don’t have to write out a big fucking rationale like i did. i have a pathological need to elaborate. but do what you want forever i’m not your mother. have fun and be yourselves.

[vultures1review]

Vultures 1 Review: Kanye and Ty Dollar $ign Deliver

Kanye West and Ty Dollar $ign kinda ate with their last collab album. As a self-proclaimed Kanye connoisseur who even made the trek to Phoenix for the exclusive listening party, you can just assume that you should take my opinions seriously. Don't think, just trust.

Let's dive right into this Vultures 1, track by track:

STARS: Kicking things off with a celestial vibe, this track sets the tone with its angelic intro. It's like Kanye and Ty are gently guiding us into their musical universe, and I'm here for it.

KEYS TO MY Life: Ah, the keys to my musical heart. The production here is quintessentially Kanye, with lush instrumentals that serve as the perfect backdrop for Ty's smooth vocals. It's a match made in musical heaven.

PAID: Time to hit the dance floor because this track is pure fire. It's got me grooving like nobody's business, and I'm loving every minute of it.

TALKING: Move over, Kanye, because North West is stealing the spotlight on this one. In Phoenix, when she performed this song, she announced she will be dropping an album entitled "Elementary School Drop Out" How adorable!

BACK TO ME: At first, I was a bit thrown off by the random movie sample, but upon further reflection, I realized it's pure genius. Kanye's ability to turn the unexpected into musical gold never ceases to amaze.

HOODRAT: This one didn't quite hit the mark for me. It felt a tad repetitive, but hey, not every track can be a winner.

DO IT: Ty Dolla $ign goes all out on this one, and I'm living for it. It's definitely a personal favorite that's going straight into my rotation.

PAPERWORK: Giving me major mob ties vibes, this track is a smooth ride from start to finish. It's like a musical journey through the underworld, and I'm here for every second of it.

BURN: Kanye takes us back to his roots with this slow jam that oozes classic vibes. It's like a modern-day "Slow Jamz" with a dash of Jamie Foxx flair.

FUK SUMN: Things get a little freaky with this one, but hey, isn't that what Kanye is all about? It's catchy, it's provocative, and it's sure to get stuck in your head for days.

VULTURES: Warning: not for the faint of heart. This track pushes boundaries with its racey lyrics, but hey, that's just Kanye being Kanye.

CARNIVAL: A classic in its own right, but thanks to TikTok, it's starting to feel a bit overplayed. Let's show some love to the other tracks, shall we?

BEG FORGIVENESS: Kinda sad, kinda haunting, but ultimately a solid addition to the album. Not my favorite, but it's got its merits.

PROBLEMATIC: It's aight, but it doesn't really add much to the overall vibe of the album. Still, it's worth a listen.

KING: Closing out the album on a high note, this track embodies everything we love about Kanye. It's bold, it's brash, and it's the perfect ending to our musical journey.

So there you have it, folks! My take on Vultures 1, straight from the mind of a die-hard Kanye fan. Whether you're nodding along in agreement or ready to duke it out in the comments, one thing's for sure: this album is a feast for the ears that's sure to leave you hungry for more. Can't wait until Vulture 2!

Let's give these tracks the love they deserve! Let's keep the discussion fun and respectful, folks!

[falsebooles123]

Confessions of a Recovering Genre-phobic - 1/6/2024

Hey Whores, This is my first official attempt at being a music critic???? Is that what I'm doing IDK. Pretty much I'm listening to a bunch of music and we just gonna vibe as I talk about what I like and what I don't and thats what I do with my life apparently. Its almost like I enjoy writing or some shit. anyway lets find a fun gif to make this an eyecatcher.

That's All (1959) - Bobby Darin

Genre: Traditional Pop, Vocal Jazz Length: 35:17 (12 Tracks)

As mentioned previous many of these albums were added based on a single song that I like from the creator. In this case this was most likely added for the A-side 2 Beyond The Sea. You know the one.

Considering that I thought this song was song by Dean Martin it goes to show I don't have a firm grasp on a lot of 1950s music and also this kind of crooning jazz style. I don't dislike it by any means but its also not something that sticks with me.

Trad Pop is a beautiful Over-Medium Egg and I am but a well oiled Teflon Pan.

3/5

Nevermind (1991) - Nirvana

Genre: Grunge, Alt Rock Length: 42:36 (12 Tracks)

Its kinda weird that I've never listened to this album all the way through. Growing up as a early zoomer my musical taste was, just like the musicians I grew up with, heavily influenced by the Alt Rock of the 90s.

I didn't grew up listening to Nirvana but as I have gotten older I realize how much certain bands have always permeated the culteral membrane. An osmosis of influence if you will.

Some songs are instantly recognizable 'Smells like Teen Spirit', 'Come as You Are', 'Lithium', and as I put this playlist on in the background listening to this album is almost vulgar. When I first heard these songs there were like a evocation. A mystical litany in a foreign script learning the grooves and connatations of there sound. It was mysteicism learning a small portion of a greater whole. and listening to the full album I almost shy away from it. Feeling unable to process the level of depth I have felt from these other songs.

That becomes the issue of music. Is that some music is too specific, too culteral, for you to have a rational mind over. Nirvana to me feels like home in the same way Jennifers Body does. Its a Core Memory that I had forgettin. A past life I have barely known.

To stop being esoteric there is something incredible about this music. Cobrain has such a distinctive voice, as if he is screaming and droning on at the same time, Checked out and locked in. The lyrics are sardonic and evocative, full of word-play and poesis. The Music almost feels subdued for something that is literally hard rock.

It like screaming underwater, its like the pleasure of moaning over a toothache, Its the savage beast making music. There is so much sadness and anger and self-rightousness that you want to scream the lyrics in your car because its the pain and pleasure of a loose tooth, of poking a bruise, of smashing a window. It is letting go and moving through.

And I just fucking love it. Big feels.

5/5

The Writing on the Stall (Original Soundtrack) (2022) - Caitlin Cook

Genre: Novelty, Comedy, (honestly low-key nerd folk) Length: 26:22 (7 Tracks)

Listened to on a whim and what a lovely time.

Based on varous Bathroom Graffiti, Caitlin Cook manages to make something equal parts funny, sincere, and surprisingly poignant. Do you like Bo Burnam cause that got that energy.

If anything it reminds me a lot of the comedy videos of the early 2000s, the type of silly songs that I watched as a child. Like the kinda problamatic People of Walmart.

This really pleasant to listen to it reminded me of a lot of the novelty music that I would listen to with my mom and also "Thank god for Sluts" is going on permanant rotation.

4/5

Fine Line (2019) - Harry Styles

Genre: Pop Rock Length: 46:37 (12 Tracks)

Technically Recommended by a friend from work, me listening to this album is a long time coming.

Fine Line, is the second studio album by Harry Styles and if wikipedia is to be believed tends to have quite a bit of genre blending in it.

I don't have a lot to say about it, Styles has a fantastic voice and his energy and styling in this era is pushing more torwards an androgynous rock star image very much in the vein of Bowie and similar. Which I actually kind of like. Styles has been purposely vague on whether or not he wants to fuck dudes which is fine. And also dare I say it I think that its healthy for us as a society not to gatekeep GNC as exclusively queer. That if a straight cis gendered man wants to put on a dress well baby thats praxis. But also like do you want to make out??????? 🥺👉👈 just asking.

The music itself has this kind of almost folksy pop to it. Gentle, meloncholic, also kinda horny. Its kinda a horny album still into it through. Ultimately this experiment goes to show that I need to work on how to describe albums. es muy difficil.

5/5

A Mi Me Gusta (1993) - Los Del Rio

Genre: Latin Pop, Flamenco? (more on that later) Length: 50:45 (12 Tracks)

Because I spent to much time figuring this out the english translation is 'I Like It (1993) - Those From the River. so do with that what you will.

Los Del Rio if you don't know are the one that made the song 'Macarena' you know the one.

(I'm trying to avoid using gifs stylisticly for these blogs but one for fun shouldn't hurt. we'll see how this evolves going forward)

and talk about a One-Hit Wonder. Its the only song that pops up when you search 'Los del Rio songs'. The album is listed as there first album on the wikipedia page for A mi me gusta despite the fact that they have at least 13 other albums before that (possible 20 i'm not going to spend 2 hours delving into there discography to figure that out). and I find this the most telling is that they include three seperate version of the song on the album. It both there opener and closer and you know what it absolutely slaps so I don't blame them.

They also are listed for this album as Latin Pop and Flamenco? I was a pretty big fan of Ricky Martin and Enrique Inglesias growing up, (hi I like fucking men alot) and I'm sorry but this is definetly pop music. This is folk or traditional. Los Del Rio almost exclusively seems to make traditional latin dance music which isn't a problem I'm a big fan of ballroom dance I grew up listening to this kind of music. Baby you can light *my* fire.

Flamenco is also an interesting descriptor. Discogs tends to list there albums in the sub-genres of Flamenco and Rumba. Which seems accurate but if you played a song by them for me It wouldn't have been my first guess.

Tbf I am not an expert on the distinction between traditional spanish folk music because its complicated and the next time someone uses the phrase Dorian Mode my eyes will bleed and I really hate having to deal with bloodstains. Suffice to say this is a much more accessable type of latin dance music. Its very much easy listening, you could definetly dance to it. But its also the type of thing I could imagine your abuela playing while she makes dinner. lowkey vibes.

I realize that I have been incredible vague about wha this song sounds like so close your eyes. Imagine your sitting with your gran-tio and peeling the paper skin away from the tomatillos that he grew in his garden. your sitting on the cool concrete of the back porch and he plays some latin music from the radio as your fingers become sticky from the sappy flesh of those purple and green fruits. It smells like chopped wood and ants. As you finish your peeling Macarena begins playing. ¡Oye!

Thats what this album sounds like.

Another interesting point is that Los Del Rio is a Spanish Band and not a Mexican Band and thats really interesting to me. right? because as an American I really don't think about Spain.

Intellestial I understand that things like Latin Dance music are a product and history of Spain, that there are a culteral export its ahrd for me as a person to seperate this type of music and language from a hispanic or latino lense. Its interesting understanding that there are divergent cultures despite sharing language and other culteral facits. I assume much in the same way that being an american that speaks english I live a very different but somewhat famalier life from an australian or brit.

Deep thoughts to be had and I really need to explore international music more.

3/5

Through the Deep Dark Valley (2012) - The Oh Hellos

Genre: Folk Rock, Indie Folk Length: 39:14 (11 Tracks)

The Oh Hellos are a Brother-Sister Folk Duo and Through the Deep Dark Valley is as they say

"The Oh Hellos' first full-length album, "Through the Deep, Dark Valley," is a self-contained concept album, and so for best results should be listened to in its entirety, in chronological order, in one sitting."

I'm not going to get to deep into said concept. Just understand that its playing with the parable of the prodigal son. Oh I'm sorry are you not religious, (by which I mean speciically mean Christian). Well that sucks for you. There album after this is named after the Screwtape Letters and if you don't know what that is well clearly your a fake jesus fan. Just saying.

I tease but it is interesting to hear how the religious imagery effects the music. A few publications discuss how there is celtic influence in there folk music which is pretty easy to identify but it should also be mentioned that there is a clear gospel sound to the work. I sent the song 'I was Wrong' to my bestie and he was like bro why are you sending me gospel worship music at three o'clock in the moring.

I want to be clear that thats not a particuler problem for me. Gospel has always had a place in folk. Thats why Amazing Grace is listed as American Traditional and also I can't take upbridge at christian imagedry in work because I would also be taking pot shots at fucking lady gage. And thats mother.

This is a really nice sounding album and it really boils down to matters of taste. Do you like the Lumineers? Mumford and Sons? Of Mice and Monsters? yeah. You like that kind of layered acoustic instrumentals and round singing that intesifies torwards the end of the song. Due you like vaguely religious lyrics. Your'll love this its great.

3.5/5

Swipe Right For Vintage (2015) - Scott Bradlee's Postmodern Jukebox

Genre: Jazz (Its Complicated and will get into it) Length: 45:20 (12 Tracks)

Ok whores I need to explain what PMJ is right?

Postmodern Jukebox is a 'retro musical collective'. What does that mean. Basically the main guy Scott Bradlee, (not to be confused with the other arranger Scott Bradley from like the 30s), arranges popular songs of the modern age into retro styles. Typical Jazz, Swing, and Big Band, but he also has done songs in traditional pop, doo-wop, and even klezmer. The term jukebox is pretty clear here the vibe of the band is very much playing around with the idea of a modern pop standard. Taking beloved pop classics from the 80s-90s and contemporary and changing them into tsome twee hipster shit and I used to be really fuckign into this.

at the time in 2015 there was a small obsession with poking fun at pop music. Parody music was huge with the likes of Bart Baker and Key of Awesome regular spoofing popular music videos at the time and there was a lot of flop eras happening. Justin Bieber, Meghan Trainer, Maroon 5. There was a lot to work with. Maybe this was just me as an asshole teen but pop music kinda felt like shit so reinterpretations of popular pop songs hit the mark in one way or another.

The selection of the songs for this album, (which mind you was one of four that PMJ produced this year), is pretty solid. You have Hailey Reinhart giving us some of her most iconic performances from PMJ. We have some really incredible torch song covers as well as a personal favorite of Radioactive sung by Blake Lewis who I was definetly gay for in high school. He does a beat-boxing solo in the middle and it definetly shouldn't work but it absolutely does.

I was original going to give this album flaq for its opener. Bad Blood sung by the lovely Aubrey Logan but on further inspection it gets a pass.

Bad Blood is an increidble bold choice to open an album on. Its one of the poorest in Taylor Swifts catologue and was aggresively panned if memory served. Bad Blood is a meme song about how Taylor Swift got beef with Katy Perry. Its very much is not a well-loved pop song in the veins of Radioactive or Habits (Stay High).

Taylor Swift is also just not an artist whose style lends itself to a jazz style and yet this song manages to pull it off. Theres some very clever rhytym to it and Logan manages to rattle off the lyrics at a breakneck speed that sounds much more like scatting then it does rap which is insane. Thats just good arrangement right there and it makes the song much more captivating then I find the original to be. So good on it.

Its hard to rate this album highly. One its a cover album but also praising an album like this for me makes me feel like I'm acting like some kind of snob who needs pop music to be 'fixed' for a more refined and classy palate. But also I just really love a good jazz number and there is a famarity already with these songs. It is simpy put accesable.

3.5/5

Anyway Whores talk to you in about a week and We'll see how much music I listen to in that time.

[bts-teaspoonff]

Fangirl pt. 1

Genre: Romance, Slow Burn, Idol A/U

Pairing: BTS OT7 x reader

Rating: PG

Summary: Y/N, being a huge fangirl, finally got her chance to work alongside her favorite idol group as a backup dancer. She gets to know each member personally and realizes that her feelings may be more than fangirl-idol attraction.

Word Count: 3K

PARTS: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | .... masterlist

“It’s finally here!” I shouted as I bolted from my room towards the front door to greet the delivery man carrying my package. Even without looking at the mirror, I could feel my smile going up to my ears and my heartbeat furiously echoing through my chest. The delivery man handed me a medium sized box and stared at me as I reach out for the box with a huge smile plastered on my face. I signed the delivery form, closed the door and ran back inside my unit.

I ran to the living room and placed the box on the floor. I turned to my left and hurriedly rummaged for my cutter inside the drawer beside the sofa. I also took my phone on top of the said drawer and placed it on my lap. I swiftly sat down on the floor in front of my package with the cutter ready in my hand when I remembered something. I unlocked my phone and proceeded to video call my brother who’s at work. My brother’s name and his photo appeared on the screen as I wait for him to answer the call.

“Hey Y/N…” His face popped up on my screen. I silently giggled at the angle of his front camera when he answered the call. Not really flattering despite him being good looking. He must have placed the phone on a table directly below his face. “You know I’m at work right? Why did you call? Emergency?” I could hear keyboard sounds in the background. He must be busy typing on the computer as he didn’t bat an eye on his phone while talking to me.

“Yeah I know. I just wanted to share some good news” My camera is facing towards me with just my eyes peeking through screen. I was worried that maybe he’s with some people at work that might see me when he answers the video call and I’m not decent looking right now. “My package has arrived!” I low-key squealed as I pressed the ‘rotate camera’ button on the screen and directed the camera at the package. I could see my brother looking now at the phone. He placed his phone in front of him and leaned it on a stable surface for him to see me properly. He continued to type slowly on his keyboard as he steal glances on his phone screen.

“Don’t tell me…. You bought another merch?” He giggled as he looked at his phone screen and continued to type on his keyboard. He looked back at his computer screen after a second, with a smile on his face. I opened the package with my cutter on one hand and my phone on the other. Tearing through the tape, I can’t contain my excitement as i shrieked when my cutter got through the end of the tape. I released the cutter from my hand and pushed it aside.

“BTS Merch! Oh my god, I have been waiting for these for weeks. I got the latest album, more Tiny Tan figurines, and some concert goods from last tour.” I proceeded to open the box and showed my brother the contents. I felt accomplishment as I look at all the merchandise that has just arrived at home. My ARMY heart couldn’t contain the joy that I have right now. I shot my eyes back on the phone screen and saw my brother smiling as he looked at me through the phone screen.

“Hey, I’m happy you are happy but you know I work in Big Hit right? I work for them?” He stopped typing, took the phone back in his hands and brought the phone close to his face. “I could just easily buy these things for you with my employee discount.” And now his whole face is occupying my phone screen. 

“Jiyong, I know but where’s the fun in that? I want to buy these items using my own money. Well, an employee discount is nice but I don’t want to abuse your privilege as I buy too much of their merchandise.” I snorted at the fact that I really do buy too much of their merchandise. Besides, when I use his employee discount, the items are delivered directly to him as he works inside the Big Hit Building. With the amount of merchandise that I buy, I don’t want to embarrass him and label him as a big fanboy especially with him working so close to the boys.

“If you weren’t my twin sister, I would totally laugh at you. Not that I think you’re crazy but you’re…. loyal” He puts emphasis on the last word. He respects my deep profound respect for the 7 boys but he thinks that maybe I have gone too far with the purchases. He placed his phone back in front of him, leaning on a surface. “Oh before I forget, did you read my email?” I was taken aback with topic change but I’m used to it as he does this all the time. I pressed the ‘rotate camera’ button once again for him to see my face. 

“No, I haven’t opened my email yet. I went home so late last night. My last client in the gym arrived late so we finished late as well. A bummer.” I scoffed as I remembered the fatigue that enveloped my body yesterday. I work as a gym trainer/physical therapist full time and a dance teacher/choreographer as my sideline. I work at my friend’s gym located in the heart of Seoul as a gym trainer. I currently handle 7 clients, some who I have worked with for a few years already. I also teach dance classes at a small dance studio just a few blocks from where I live. Mainly, I handle BTS dance classes because duh, I am a full-blooded ARMY. I really tried to make my passion as a source of income and it warms my heart to see people having fun when I teach them those dances.

“Check it. Anyways, I gotta go. I still have a lot to do. As you know, the company is busy since BTS will be releasing another album sometime this year.” My brother currently works as a Recording Engineer in Big Hit. He used to brag to me that he’ll spend hours with BTS and TXT. I was jealous of course but I am so proud he’s working for them. Whenever I listen to songs from Big Hit artists, I try to think that he has contributed to a lot of songs despite not knowing what exact songs he has worked on. Another reason why I listen and support them.

We both said our farewells and dropped the call. As I took out all the contents of the package unto the floor, I used my phone on the other hand. I opened my mail and saw few unread emails. Some of them were from my subscriptions on Netflix and Spotify, which I barely read. On top of the list was my brother’s mail. I saw the subject “READ THIS FANGIRL!” and I laughed. Here I thought he sent me something urgent or important that needs my utmost attention. Must be another event or merchandise that they’ve yet to announce to the public.

I opened the mail and my eyes were glued to the first line of the message body.

“Big Hit is hiring backup dancers. See the forwarded email below, sis. I think they’re meaning to assign whoever they’ll hire as part of BTS dance team.” Did I just receive this email? It came from my brother so it must be true. He won’t prank me like that. If I apply, there’s no guarantee that I’ll be hired right? That’s too bad if I won’t be hired but there’s nothing to lose if I try to apply.

I left my package scattered throughout my floor and ran towards my laptop lying on my bed. I sat down on the floor beside my bed and opened my laptop. I felt like a kid but here I am, rushing to find my resume to apply for a new job that might eventually change my life.

….

It’s been a week since I applied as a backup dancer for Big Hit. I sent in my resume and a few videos of me dancing to some of their artists’ songs. I’m lucky to have known a lot of BTS’ songs and choreographies by heart and I might have tried to study some of their label mates’ songs as well. I haven’t received a reply back from them and I’m worried that I may not receive any response ever.

Apparently, BTS is known for having only male backup dancers as far as I know so it’s news to me that they’re hiring female backup dancers now. It got me thinking that this might also attract fellow fangirls like me to apply but knowing Big Hit, they wouldn’t want anything scandalous to happen just because they hired female backup dancers. I’m not saying that female dancers lack professionalism but how the boys are the top rank boy group in the country, female fans would be green with jealousy if they see female dancers dancing with them. Some Armies are really protective when it comes to the boys so it’s really shocking to hear that the company is finally considering this.

The day that I got the mail from my brother, I spent half of my day planning what dances to shoot and submit. I chose BTS’ Idol and Singularity, TXT’s Crown and a freestyle dance to Beyonce’s Yonce. I wanted to showcase my range in dancing by carefully choosing a variety of songs. I admit that the reason I may have applied to this job is partly because I’m a fangirl but nonetheless, my passion for dancing is bigger. I have been dancing since I was a kid but I was not this confident at the start. It’s hard to convince me to perform in front of a bigger audience, let alone a stadium full of fans. I slowly got over my fear little by little when I started teaching dance classes at the dance studio. The fear is still there and you may wonder why I am applying for this job when I’m scared shit in performing for a large audience. BTS taught me to love myself and I am really trying my best to go out of my comfort zone. I figured that this may be my best chance in doing so. Also, I get the benefit of working alongside them which is a big plus.

I couldn’t really focus on my job for the whole week. I find myself regularly checking my mail in the hopes of getting a response from Big Hit. 5 days and there’s still no mail. Maybe my email just went to their spam folder or maybe I typed in the wrong mail. On the 7th day while I was pulling out my clothes in the dryer, I heard a ping from my phone from across the hall. I left my phone on my bed and the laundry room is right beside my room. I noticed that the ping was my assigned tone for mails. I hurriedly took out all my warm dry clothes and unto the basket, closed the door of the dryer and turned the lights off in the laundry room.

“New Mail. Subject: Dance Team Application” I saw the notification banner and my heart just jumped out of my chest. I felt my forehead sweating profusely, fingers shaking and my throat closing up as I try to open my phone and check my mail. I silently and swiftly read the contents of the mail. After two seconds, I shrieked at the top of my lungs and threw my phone across my bed. I ran out of my room and in circles around the living room. Good thing I live alone so that I could just celebrate and make loud noises like this. I jumped up and down on the sofa while etching the image of the mail into my head. I buried my head on my pillows and shouted once more, emptying all the air out of my lungs.

I ran back into my room and read the mail again.

“Good day, Miss Y/N.

We have received your application and we are glad to say that we are impressed with your resume and skillset. We would like you to come in our office tomorrow so we can meet and talk personally with our dance team. We are glad to have you join our current dance team. Details of our meeting are expressed below.

Time: 10 am

Address: 42 Teheran-ro 108-gil, Daechi-dong, Gangnam-gu, Seoul, South Korea

Attire: Comfortable Casual

Please look for Mina at the front desk to escort you. Thank you.”

I still can’t believe what I’m seeing. Did I just got accepted? As a backup dancer? For Big Hit? Maybe for BTS? I’m such a lucky fangirl. I can’t wait for tomorrow.

….

It’s a good thing that my schedule is free today. I don’t have any clients in the gym scheduled for today and the dance studio is closed for today. I was so nervous and excited at the same time. I woke up at 6 am as I feel my jitters bothering my sleep. I tried to go back to sleep but I trashed the bed and rolled side to side for about 30 mins so I decided to go for a run. I turned on my Spotify and played my ‘Intense Run Playlist’ which mostly consists of high bpm BTS songs. There’s a jogging path near where I live and the scenery is filled with trees. Very calming, which I really need right now.

I arrived in front of the Big Hit Building around 8:30 am. I made sure to arrive early as I don’t want to be late for the meeting. I’m so anxious right now if I’m allowed to go up as early as 9 am or should I just arrived on time. I lingered outside and paced back and forth at a nearby shade. I wondered if I could visit my brother and stay with him for the mean time.

“Is she a stalker?” I heard whispers coming from my right as I slumped back at the pole where I’m taking shade just across the building. “That’s scary.” Three schoolgirls were standing a few meters away from me. They were staring and smirking at me. I wondered why they would think of me as such then I realized that I wore my hoodie up to cover half of my face.

“I’m not…”

“Good luck stalker-nim. You won’t get a glimpse of the boys.” They giggled and ogled me with judgmental looks with their arms across the chests. “Can you get away from the boys? We don’t want stalker armies like you.”

“As I said, I’m not a stalker and I’m older than you. Why are you talking to me in an informal tone?” I pull my hoodie off my head and slowly tread towards them. They laughed and ran away at the sight of me making my way to them. Sheesh, do I really look like a stalker?

I looked at my watch and it’s still 9:10 am. I guess I could try and visit my brother. The fresh morning air blew gently in my face, as if to welcome me, and be my merry playmate, and the sun looked at me with a warm and tender smile. What a nice start to my day, I thought. I put up my hoodie again and I was comfortable once more with the warmth my mere hoodie gave me.

“I have a meeting in your building today. Do you want to meet up? I’m not due until 10 am. – your adorable look alike” I texted my brother and inserted my phone back in my pocket. I breathed in the fresh breeze and not a second later, my phone pinged. I pulled out my phone to see my brother’s name on the screen.

“Lucky, I’m on a coffee break. I’ll be down in a sec.” he replied. A grin was present on my face as I stood up from where I was leaning. I skipped from across the street towards the building. I looked above at the sky and towards the top of the Big Hit Building and when I returned my gaze back in front of me, I was met by a dark haired man in his mid-twenties. I bumped into him and was knocked down at the side of the street. I exclaimed in pain as I rub my backside.

��Hey look where you’re go…” I looked up and immediately recognized the face. The man was wearing a grey Fear of God shirt paired with black baggy pants. His face was half covered by a black mask and his hair was kept away from his face with a black headband almost occupying his whole forehead.

“You should be the one watching you’re going. Crossing the street while prancing around like that.” He scoffed and continued to make his way towards the building. He didn’t even help me up. I sneered back.

“I’m sorry. I assure you that he’s not usually like this. He’s in a bad mood.” Two hands were suddenly around my elbows, propping me up from the ground. I turned my head and saw a woman around mid-twenties as well. She was carrying an opened big black bag propped on her right shoulder with filled with piles of unruly papers stuck inside. When I finally was able to stand up properly, she took off her hands from me and bowed in apology. She swiftly followed the man and shouted, “Yoongi, wait. I can explain.”

So I was right. It was Suga. All the images of a funny and loving Min Yoongi ran through my mind. Just like a scary movie, it was replaced by a disgusted look he shot at me a while ago. Did he…. Maybe he thought I was a stalker or something? I guess if I really looked like one then I don’t blame him for shooting those looks at me. However, a decent person would help anyone up in that situation.

I beat the dust off my hoodie and slowly treaded towards the building’s entrance. Not a really good way to start my first interaction with anyone from BTS, I thought.

Next part: 2

[prettytoxicrevolver]

Nails | Ashton Irwin

Warnings? Nope, mention of quarantine??

Requested? Yes indeed I hope you enjoy it! 

Summary: The lockdown has you stuck at home with no nail tech insight. Just as you’re getting creative with your own nail colors, Ashton asks for you to paint his nails too. 

Word Count: 1,301

The quarantine was starting to get to you. 

You had finished all of your assignments for the week and even considered starting some of next week's work on top of it. You had caught up on every tv show you had stopped watching, finished most of your books, listened to the albums you were behind on, it felt like you had one everything. You were starting to seriously miss the outside world. 

You also really missed getting your nails done. 

Yes, there were much more pressing matters in the world and you understood that but getting your nails done was the one thing you treated yourself to every month or so. When school and work was a bit too stressful and you wanted to look extra cute, you went and got your nails done. 

But now it’s April and your nails haven’t been touched since January and won’t get done until the quarantine is over. Needless to say, you were going a bit crazy over it. But again, you felt a bit selfish in the first place being so upset about it. 

“Why don’t you paint them yourself? Find inspiration, buy some polish, make a day of it,” Your best friend suggests over facetime. 

“Cause I royally suck at painting my nails?” You remind her and she shakes her head. 

“Still, it could be therapeutic.” 

With that suggestion, you had started looking up colors and ideas. You had settled on three bold colors, royal blue, sunny yellow, and firetruck red. The three would rotate on your fingers, standing for the primary colors. It was a bold choice for you but you were excited for it nonetheless. 

So, upon putting together a shopping list and taking the necessary precautions you set out. You opted for your nearby grocery store as they would most likely have everything you needed. You were in and out as quick as possible before heading home once more. 

When you get home, you put away your groceries and gather the nail supplies. You had gone alI out, buying the colors, base coat, topcoat, and a kit to shape your nails. You bring it upstairs and lay it all out on your bedroom floor. 

You had started to get into doing your nails, putting on some music to listen to and focusing too intensely on the activity. Your best friend was right though, it was kinda therapeutic to pause and paint your nails. To focus on something and let the rest of the world fade away. 

"Drink all night, never sleep, you say, "Go," I won't leave, I love you, you love me,'' You sing along to your boyfriends new record and smile widely. 

You and Ash had been dating for three years now. You two had met through Luke when the two of you were at a party together that you really didn’t want to be at. Your best friend had dragged you along and then left you for some random guy. 

Luke had spotted you, and recognized you from a few parties before. Your best friend had a habit of partying and dragging you along with her. While some nights it was fun, and you left with great memories and made it home okay, other nights certainly didn’t end as well. 

“Hey!” He greeted you and you turned to look at the tall blonde. 

“Hi,” You greeted warmly. Even though you didn’t know Luke you were still happy to have some company at the party. 

“Get ditched?” He asked and you nodded. 

“Well now you get to enjoy my company,” He stated and you laughed lightly. The two of you ended up introducing yourselves and getting to know each other for about half of the party. Just as you were about to go find your friend again, someone called out to Luke. 

“Lucas!” You both looked over to see a tall brunette haired boy bounding over. His teeth showed in the widest smile you had ever seen and it was practically contagious. 

“Hey man,” Luke greeted him and you sat and watched the two Aussies talk before Luke remembered to introduce you. 

“Ash this is (y/n), (y/n) this is my bandmate Ashton.” 

And the rest is history as they say. You and Ashton hit it off, and have been dating ever since. 

“But not in the same way,” You look up from your spot on the floor to see Ash standing in the doorway singing along to his own music. You giggle and stand from your spot to greet Ashton. 

“Whatcha doing?” He asks looking around you to the nail supplies all over the floor. 

“Since I can’t get my nails done I figured I’d do them myself.” Ash nods and then he smile sheepishly. 

“Can you paint my nails too?” 

You smile wide and nod your head in response. You lead Ash over to your nail station and he sits down obediently in front of you. 

"What color?" Besides the ones you picked up, you had a few bottles left over from high school. You present the stash of polish to your boyfriend and he shifts through it before picking out your black and red bottles. 

"Can you put the red on my thumb and the black on the rest of my nails? Oh! and can you paint a black heart on the red thumb?" 

"Babe I'm not a nail tech," You joke and he smiles at you. 

He sits crisscross in front of you and you carefully pull his hands into your lap. You start with the base coat you picked up and apply a coat on each nail. As you move through each nail, you and Ash taIk about your day. 

"How was the last day in the studio?" 

Because of quarantine, Ash and the guys had to stop working and start staying home. It was gonna be tough on all of them but you knew with the new album release they needed a break. 

"Bittersweet but good. Quarantine is gonna be rough," His smile falters and you give him a sad look. 

"But I have you," He lifts a hand to grab your chin and squeeze it lightly. You lean forward in his grasp and kiss his lips. 

You move back to focus on his nails again. You start applying the black color to the majority of his fingers and Ash sings to his music as you do so. You focus intently on the task and Ashton smiles fondly at your concentration. As you switch colors, you pause for a second to change the music choice. 

“Seriously?” Ash jokes and you roll your eyes. 

“You love Disney now hush and give me your hands,” You say reaching out for his hands again. 

“Okay miss bossy.” 

You start to work on the two red nails and once those are set, you steady your hands enough to paint a black heart on the two red nails. You blow light air across Ashton’s fingers to set your nailwork before sitting back and admiring it. 

“Hey I’m not too bad at this,” You say, turning his hands over in yours. He smiles widely at your work and then up at you. Before you can move, Ash takes a picture of your hands next to each other and you end up doing the same. 

“Oh come here,” Ashton says just as I See the Light from Tangled comes on. 

He stands up and pulls you up behind him. He intertwines your finger on one hand, and wraps an arm around your waist. You rest your other hand on his shoulder as he stares down at you lovingly. You slow dance in the love of your lifes arms and you think to yourself 

This quarantine was going to be just fine as long as Ashton was around. 

[haus-of-wu]

Bonamana (미인아) 10th Anniversary Album Analysis/Rediscovery

Happy 10th Anniversary to Bonamana / 4jib !

I viscerally remember this album coming out when I was in the 8th grade and using my damn iTunes gift cards to buy the album tracks for my iPod nano. (WTF was streaming in 2010)

Bonamana was the first album of many in SJ’s discography that didn’t have the full lineup of members. Hangeng had departed SM, Kibum had announced a hiatus to focus on acting, and Kangin was starting off what would become SJ’s almost decade-long military rotation era.

We’ve come a long way, and we’re still out here !!

Track analysis and re-reaction below the cut - as a veteran ELF I find that middle school me fixated on certain songs (and was the biggest Ryeowook stan), and then completely forgot about entire other songs, so it’s always a fun time going back down memory lane.

Bonamana (미인아)

Even if you look and look, look and look, look and look There’s no one else but me.

It’s true, true that my feelings don’t have a place to go. You know that I adjusted myself to fit you

honestly the best iteration of the “SJ Funky” sound that started with “Sorry Sorry” imo

an absolute headbanger !! if you aren’t already bobbing your head to the bass line and percussion in the first 10 seconds you are not human

this has just the right tasteful amount of autotune that makes it age a lot better than sorry sorry over the years

i’m sorry but the choreo absolutely fucks especially with kyuhyun going out there being like “you thought i was a main vocal? i’m in this fucking dance break”

re:choreo, it’s understandable that they’ve pivoted to the rock remix of this for super shows bc there’s a squat move they do that is not friendly on the knees at all

if you wanted a club BOP about a guy trying his hardest to figure out how to get a girl’s attention, this is it

donghae doing a magic trick for every music show performance of this, while looking fiercely in character while delivering his line as a man who is hella stressed about what to get the girl as a present

the way ryeowook and sungmin (tenor line !!) exchange lines

this song made me go feral in 2010

No Other

Hearing you tell me that you love me, I have everything in this world, You & I, You’re so fine, Is there someone like you? I love you Oh, please know it, to me there’s only you, That I stupidly see you As my everything 

that feel-good cute love song that served as the foil to Bonamana

the softest MV !!

just super chill and smile inducing

all the music show performances of this are just...so cute (also featured so many shenanigans like leeteuk yelling HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEENIM/GOOD LUCK SHINEE, and random members playing rock paper scissors in the middle of the performance)

probably has the most evenly split line distributions for the time (each member has their own verse of sorts)

contains one of my favorite hyukjae rap parts - it flows in such a relaxing way

Shake It Up (Remix Version)

Hey get up, (Hey get up) everyone come here (everyone come here) Just shake (all your thoughts) Just shake it up!

your everyday repetitive life, right now shake it up your repeated thoughts of sadness- right now shake it up Are you separated from the world? It all depends on you

SJ said shake it up !

chill club song with the touch of autotune, heavy synth, and weird background “oh OHs” of the time

the predecessor to the electronic chill vibe that Skydive has

they really told us to have fun and enjoy

honestly the song i didn’t realize i’d need in quarantine as i jam out at my desk

All My Heart

The words I still can’t say The words that got stuck in my throat I love you more than anyone else It’s still you and me, me me me me me me me me

In this moment I’m really happy I’m really grateful that you came to me The one who gives everything to me It’s only you and me, me me me me me me just you

a simple guitar instrumental with soothing vocals, a wholesome r&b

composed by LEETEUK AND HENRY? fuck me up fam

as a kid this was just the “nanana nanana na” song (that’s the me me me part of the chorus lmao)

this is the happy song that you’d like wave your lighters to maybe

hyukjae’s been singing “don’t wake me up” for eons

god this song makes me so soft

A Short Journey

My heart that loved you My eyes that looked at you Are still here

Oh baby say goodbye, for a short while goodbye I’ll go back to the place when I once was When I open that door and take one step So that I can stand in front of you who I missed

My heart that loved you My eyes that looked at you Will wait

Kangin going to the military tribute song composed by Donghae and lyrics by Hyukjae? they really had all the rights in 2010

god the lyrics really hit me in my ELF heart. like we really went through a whole decade of military service and said goodbye for now so many times

the opening piano intro? i hate you donghae i really do

hyukjae these lyrics man. why. why you gotta make our hearts hurt like this

another simple instrumental with soothing vocals, but this time it hits you in the feels a bit

if you weren’t listening to the lyrics, this feels like a song you’d watch your parents slow dance to in the house

thanks for triggering the “i miss kangin” hours G O D

Boom Boom

From head to toe you are wrapped with all luxury things Hoo~ so eye-blinding, who would ever dare to touch you?

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star I’m trying to get a hot girl, I’m drawn to her bad look look look am I wrong?

It’s nothing but such a beautiful sin

THE OTHER BANGER IN THIS ALBUM

yeah i feel like 13/14 y.o. me only was here for bonamana and boom boom back in 2010 which is like...pretty valid given the taste of your typical middle schooler in 2010

but literally. if you thought bonamana was about a guy desperate to get the girl, boom boom was legit like “shit she’s hot like sin and hooking up with her might be a mistake for me but oh well wtf why the hell not”

kyuhyun’s line at the beginning “from head to toe/머리부터 발 끝까지” is apparently used in a lot of lyrics, to the point where D&E were like, Bout You’s Korean title is gonna be that, AND it’s gonna be in the chorus. this was totally off-topic.

the whiplash in this album honestly. soft love songs to trying to get girls in the club to i’ll wait for you to finish military service. they have the RANGE

Coagulation

On the window and on my eyes Dew forms, tears form, a small stream is made Where they’re from and how they form over and over even I don’t know The only thing I know is that I just really hurt My formerly burning heart is slowly becoming cold It seems even I don’t know what to say, or how to hold on to you

time for a KRY ballad (can you BELIEVE they are finally having their first whole-ass album in june ??)

break up crying song included with the album of two absolute bangers

just close your eyes and get taken away on the sad rainy day ballad

Your Eyes

I want to erase all of my insufficient former self It seems like someone like me has nothing to give to you

Do you still remember, do you believe that it’s only you for me Do you know how long you can keep me by your side In this large world, there’s only one person (I only want you) Did you know this about me

sad piano r&b time !! brought to you by yesung and kyuhyun only

harmonies

kyuhyun’s bridge though

easily a candidate for some drama OST

i feel like this album really just had two sides - party rock central and r&b feels

My Only Girl

Even if I cover my ears I can hear it, even if I close my eyes, I can see it Even if I shut my mouth I keep calling out for you I am stupid I hate how I can’t get over you

we really opened this song with “cause i’m lonely” huh (screams at how applicable this still is for them TEN years later)

i love everything about this song except the chorus

the chorus is very underwhelming

My All Is In You

Even though I’m pretending to smile Without knowing why In truth I want to cry

It seems love is ending like this Before I know it our parting is approaching You say “goodbye” To me, letting you go is still difficult Please give me a little more time I can’t live without you My all is in you

another sad breakup bop why are you guys so good at this genre

the percussion comes in so nicely

little strings in the background that help accentuate the words (chef’s kiss)

KRY really were already yelling not even halfway into this song - perf

we literally are only in the second chorus folks

this song is great, it’s only sin was that it said “rap line you just don’t get lines”, so rip heechul, hyukjae, and shindong

Shake it Up!

the original - way less electro, more acoustic

has a very lo-fi beginning and then it amps up

has some interesting high pitched synth piano twiddling up there

a tad slower than the remix, but not by much if at all

dude the horns coming in behind hyukjae’s rap !! it fucks !

if the remix version’s vibe is people having fun in the club, this one’s vibe is a summer bbq party in the backyard

god i really love the horn line - it gives it such a nice vibe

another point in the “feel good” bucket

In My Dream

She’s walking away Embracing another person My chest’s like it’s being crushed under a heavy weight

I’m dreaming again, right? Cold sweat runs down my body It hurts to dream about things, I hate to remember

I wish I would fall asleep forever like this I wake up with her presence still… although I hope I don’t dream again, Like today, it seems I fall asleep with her presence

piano and string sadness here we go

bring back SJ KRY + donghae + sungmin

this chorus for this song stabs me in the heart every time

i’m mad where’s the MV for the heart-wrenching sad ballad

kings of emotional power vocals

we really are out here singing our hearts out about that ex-girlfriend that haunts us as we try to fall asleep

if they ever perform this all ELF in the vicinity would immediately die

One Fine Spring Day

A warm wind is blowing like it was that night The flowers you lovingly planted have bloomed Before I know it spring has come again I still want to deeply sleep like it’s winter

You are so very far, so very far To be honest I miss you every day Even the very small, very small trivial things make me think of you every day

still laughing the ryeowook brought up bonamana as his favorite album on weekly idol bc it contained his first ever solo track ;kasjf;aksdf king of promoting only himself

this is v soft, v much aligned with the little prince image that wasn’t even in the works yet

the imagery of the lyrics man. cute winter to spring yearning uwus

s o f t e s t

like this is literally the song that inspired every fanfic writer that’s ever written ryeowook as persephone in some greek god au

Good Person

When you laugh I feel good too, even when you say it’s just pretend You bring happiness to the days when I wait for you, the nights when I miss you Even when I’m alone it’s okay if I can just see you I’m always behind you, I’m always looking out for you, but it seems like I have to share

The difference between me and the person who makes you cry is that all I can do is comfort you

this song sounds like something that would be in the opening of an animated show that takes place in a high school

now that i’m looking at the lyrics, this is literally an upbeat sounding song accepting that they’ve been friendzoned and all they can do is support her relationship with the other guy

bittersweet nostalgia bop i guess

Here We Go

cue family/action movie credit music vibes

i don’t have much to say about it - i just isn’t something i’d listen to on the regular

it’s just happy-go-lucky finale type music

it has a really old-school hyukjae/shindong rap verse lmao

vocal line is out here yelling, very on-brand

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2017

Not a very good year for hit songs. Still better than the next one, though.

And a very satisfying #1 that launched an entire infodump about a specific band. I’m not even sorry.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

2017 might not sound super distant, but it’s already distant enough to analyse what started to happen to me that year with some clarity. This is when I started to lose some of my energy and motivation. A lot, in fact. Everything suddenly felt exhausting and this whole “what’s even the point of anything” mentality started to fall on my shoulders. And you know what, at first, while making these recaps, I had no idea what started it all. Was it that super rare infection I caught in early 2018 and almost made me lose a part of a finger? Was it both my grandfathers dying in mid 2018? Was it the general state of the world? But no, I did some digging and noticed this general exhaustion actually started right during summer 2017 and I was like what the f█ck happened in summer 2017? That summer was fine?

And then it clicked. I know exactly what kickstarted my spiral into about 18 months of depression, and it’s got nothing to do with health or family. It’s something that shouldn’t have affected my life in any way, and that I kinda tried to ignore at the time, and some of you might even find me overdramatic or cringy for letting it affect my life. But yeah, as I’ve realised while making these lists, Linkin Park was actually a super important part of my life, so it makes perfect sense: what started it all was Chester Bennington killing himself. Clearly, someone who had contributed so much to convince me that life was worth living and who suddenly decided it wasn’t worth it, that had a huge impact on me, whether I wanted it or not.

Aaaand now I’m crying again. Great.

Anyway. Uh. Important albums that year! Yeah so uh. Depeche Mode made Spirit and it wasn’t good, and so I kinda lost faith they would ever make a great album again, but I did realise one of my teenage dreams and saw them in concert in the Stade de France in July 2017 (it was huge. Going home after that felt like waking up from some sort of hypnotic trance. They even played Walking In My Shoes, one of my absolute favorite songs from them, along with a video featuring a trans person going to work and I started to bawl my eyes out in the middle of the f█cking crowd). Nine Inch Nails also made Add Violence and continued to be super good, and Indochine made 13, and while it wasn’t nearly as good as Black City Parade, it was also better than La République des Météors, so I was pretty happy about that. EDIT: Forgot about Under Your Spell by The Birthday Massacre, which blew my goddamn mind, but still not as much as the next album I'm gonna talk about.

But the defining album of the year, to me, was Mike Oldfield making a sequel to my favorite album from him, with Return to Ommadawn. Of course it’s not as good as Ommadawn. But still. If Ommadawn felt like discovering a new strange country full of weird folklore and forests and mysterious buildings, Return to Ommadawn feels like going back there half a century later and seeing things in ruins and wounded people, but still trying to seek beauty and joy in a partly destroyed landscape. It makes perfect sense considering the circumstances that surround the making of this thing, and it was the only way to make a good sequel to such a legendary album.

Unelligible songs that piss me off... uh, actually there’s only Cut to the Feeling by Carly Rae Jepsen. Why wasn’t it a huge hit. Come to think of it, why hasn’t any Carly Rae song been a huge hit since Good Times. This feels unfair.

Time for some honorable mentions, then.

Feels and also Slide (Calvin Harris and a lot of other people) - Got nothing to say about either of these songs, but they’re both pretty good.

Katchi (Ofenbach) - Nice little earworm.

No Roots (Alice Merton) - Super surprised this was a hit. Good.

OK (Robin Schulz ft James Blunt) - That’s a James Blunt song in the year of our lord 2017 and it sounds actually good??

What About Us (Pink) - Really caught my attention and made me wonder if I should listen to Pink again after a long streak of mediocre Pink songs.

Congratulations (Post Malone) - I find the song mostly boring but the guest verse ending with “uh, Malone... I gotta play on my phone...” is the stuff of legends and that got a chuckle out of me every time I heard it.

Glorious (Macklemore) - I’m glad this was a hit here but at the same time it’s not my favorite song from him. The music video is adorable, though.

Fly (Odyssey) - Nothing to say about that one.

XO Tour Life (Lil Uzi Vert) - The fact that I was regularly humming this is either a sign of quality or yet another sign I was depressed as shit.

Devil in Me (Purple Disco Machine) - What a great artist name.

Symphony (Clean Bandit) - Nothing to say here either, just good sound all around.

Attention (Charlie Puth) - 2017: The Year Charlie Puth Made A Great Song.

All Stars (Martin Solveig & Alma) - The last cut. It was on the list at some point. I really like it a lot, though.

And now, the list. The stuff I genuinely love starts at #6 and things that are still on my mp3 player to this day start at #4.

10 - Chained to the Rhythm (Katy Perry)

US: #73 / FR: #10

I just love the concept of a Katy Perry song about how Katy Perry songs are happy nonsense distracting you from actual issues. What can I say, I’m a sucker for meta stuff.

9 - Water Under The Bridge (Adele)

US: #88 / FR: Not on the list

An Adele song projecting actual positive energy!? That automatically goes on the list.

8 - Praying (Kesha)

US: #67 / FR: Not on the list

You know I mostly dislike slow emotional songs regardless of how good they actually are. I will, however, make an exception for this one even though I very rarely listen to it considering how emotionally taxing it is. That’s definitely a fantastic song, though.

7 - Viens On S’aime (Slimane)

US: Not on the list / FR: #53

“Listen, we love each other, f█ck it, f█ck their words and their decorum, listen, we love each other, f█ck it, f█ck their ideas and what they’re saying”. Well said, dude, well said.

6 - There’s Nothing Holding Me Back (Shawn Mendes)

US: #23 / FR: #91

That’s a very good song for running and that is becoming increasingly rarer, so I’ll take what I can get.

5 - Paris (The Chainsmokers)

US: #42 / FR: Not on the list (that’s irony for you)

Unlike Closer this is an unrelatable song about rich young people that can afford to live in Paris just “to get away from [their] parents” but honestly that’s the only negative thing I have to say against it. It sounds fantastic.

4 - Castle On The Hill (Ed Sheeran)

US: #40 / FR: #50

We’ve now entered the realm of songs that are still on my mp3 player to this day. This is the only Ed Sheeran song I’ve ever liked, and I love it. It sounds like a lost U2 song. Maybe from a strange dimension where U2 became more fragile and emotional instead of more pretentious.

I have no idea why this guy keeps making such boring stuff when he’s got that kind of song in him. I have no clue.

3 - Something Just Like This (Coldplay & The Chainsmokers)

US: #5 / FR: #19

Hey so Coldplay is still on my lists, apparently. It’s a bit too slow, some lyrics about superheros don’t make much sense, and the drop isn’t super good, but my god, that guitar near the end makes everything worth it. Just amazing colors and textures all around.

It’s not even my favorite song on that EP! I think Miracles (Someone Special) is even better, but eh, this one is a close second.

2 - 24k Magic (Bruno Mars)

US: #16 / FR: Not on the list (#13 in 2016 but I put it on the 2017 list instead)

Am I the only one to like this more than Uptown Funk? It’s so much fun to sing along to it. And unlike Uptown Funk, it’s making me feel nostalgic for an era I actually (vaguely) knew, the super colorful and ridiculous early 90s. My s.o loves it too and when it comes up on the radio or on our playlists you can bet we’re both going PUT YOUR. PINKY. RINGS UP. TO THE. MOOOOOOOON like two idiots.

This is the song I could have put on the previous list but elected to put on this list instead since it was elligible for both years, by the way! Since 2017 was less good than 2016, I thought it would be more interesting to save such a great song for later.

It would have topped the list too, if it wasn’t for something I didn’t expect to be elligible before reading the French year-end list.

Strap yourselves in, because I had no real opportunity to talk about this band at length in the posts made for the years when it was the most relevant in my life, so this is going to be quite long.

1 - La Vie Est Belle (Indochine)

US: Not on the list / FR: #44

As you already know if you remember some of my previous lists, Indochine is a band I started to love right in the middle of the absolute worst years of my life. These guys had been around since the 80s as a super successful new wave band, then became very unpopular and went underground for about twelve years in the entire 90s, then one of them died, then every member except the singer basically rotated, and then they suddenly re-emerged in 2002-2003 with Paradize, a monster of an album, full of energy, sinister themes and weird provocative songs, and an entire generation of angsty teenagers (me included as you can guess) embraced it wholeheartedly.

And all of a sudden Indochine was the favorite French mainstream band of local young punk/goths! So many kids with the Indochine logo in highschool. Nowadays the band is mocked and well-loved in equal doses by just about everyone, but I suspect it’s just because we’ve all grown up.

Placebo, Linkin Park and Indochine were the bands that ruled my entire world in 2003/2004. My mother hated all three of them, because of course she did, but especially Indochine, because according to her it was partly their fault if I was gender non-conforming. See, she used to say, they had put all kinds of bad ideas in my head and now I was all messed up.

...Holy shit, that’s a lot of blame to put on a ridiculous new wave band who’s first hit song from 1983 is just a long nonsensical list of shitty old Bob Morane pulp novels.

But here’s the problem. Even if Indochine kept having hit song after hit song, those were never the best songs on their albums. Here I am, 31, making these top ten lists since last December, and becoming more and more frustrated to see none of my favorite modern Indochine songs are elligible. My favorite Paradize singles were Mao Boy, Popstitute and especially Marilyn (god, this song rocked my entire year alongside Placebo’s The Bitter End. 2003 was such a fantastic year for dark energetic hit songs)? Too bad, the biggest hits were J’ai demandé à la lune and Le Grand Secret. Alice & June had four fantastic singles? Too bad, none of them is elligible! Same thing for the entirety of Black City Parade. Oh, but that song I hate from La Republique des Météors is elligible, I guess!

So we’re in summer 2017, and my life is completely different now, and Indochine releases La Vie Est Belle (I’m linking the album version and not the music video because it has some violent themes in it). I’m in my car doing some errands and the local radio goes “hey new song from Indochine” and I’m like “oh shit, gotta hear this” and then two minutes later “oh wow, that is super good. Won’t be a hit though”.

And yet, it was a hit! It became huge, even! And at that point I was already loving that song even though I thought it was just a super good but tragic love song about a significant other dying too young.

And then, about a month later, the wordplay of the first line finally hit me with the force of a semitruck. It’s not a love song. It’s a song about the singer’s dead twin. Who died in 1999.

It’s such a devastating, beautiful song, and yet it’s full of energy. I. adore. it. It’s exactly the kind of song you need to continue to fight and to live and to help other people in this day and age. “Life is beautiful and cruel, it looks like us sometimes” indeed. And it’s one of the best on the album, too!

So yes, 15 years after I first fell in love with this band and after they helped me during super dark times, finally, I can put one of their songs at the top of one of these lists, hands down, no debate whatsoever.

That probably sounds ridiculous but it’s genuinely making me feel extremely emotional.

Next up: I thought music sucked that year because I was depressed but I relistened to it and no it wasn’t just me

[peppersjam]

My Top 10 Albums of 2019

2019 presented me with a handful of incredible events and memories (I turned 30, I got married, etc.), while also serving me a big challenge (my partner is temporarily living on the other side of the country). In a poetic world, these things would have a significant impact on the music that I listened to and loved, but no, not really. This year is pretty on the nose for me, music-wise. Oh, except that I got really into Taylor Swift in the second half of the year.

Before we hop into boring Steve's boring top 10 list, let's revisit the 2018 list. The only album on the list that I barely listened to in 2019 was Cardi's Invasion of Privacy. Everything else gets at least semi-regular spins, although I'd elevate Historian, boygenius, and Big Red Machine above these others.

My biggest disappointment this year was Charli XCX's CHARLI, which is a solid album, but it didn't grab me nearly as much as Pop 2 did a couple years ago. It hasn't stuck in my rotation.

Runners up:

Bon Iver - "i,i" (I love it when I listen to it, but for some reason I'm not often compelled to listen to it)

Ariana Grande - "thank u, next" (Staple of early 2019, but fell off)

Carly Rae Jepsen - "Dedicated" (Great, but I'd rather listen to E•MO•TION)

Taylor Swift - "Lover" (Some true standout tracks, like Lover and Paper Rings, but too many cloyboys and CRJ rip-offs)

Weyes Blood - "Titanic Rising" (I could see this growing on me over the years, like a Radiohead record)

And the pre-2019 albums that should've made my respective yearly lists:

Beyoncé - "4" (2011)

Beyoncé - "BEYONCE" (2013)

Big Thief - "Capacity" (2017)

Big Thief - "Masterpiece" (2016)

Perfume Genius - "No Shape" (2017)

Snail Mail - "Lush" (2018)

Taylor Swift - "Red" (2012)

10. Big Thief – U.F.O.F

Early in the year, I "discovered" Big Thief. I don't know how I missed them before. Specifically, the song "Masterpiece" got right up in my brain and has been hanging out there since. Then Big Thief gave us U.F.O.F. which was yet another great Big Thief album. See #3 below.

9. Andrew Bird – My Finest Work Yet

Look, I'll stop putting Andrew Bird records on my end-of-year lists when he stops making them.

Andrew Bird turned a corner with the release of Are You Serious where he basically acknowledged that he was now going to work with other people and write scrutable songs. It was a good album, but My Finest Work Yet refines this Andrew Bird 2.0 and delivers some of his... finest work yet ("Sisyphus," "Manifest," "Olympians"). While I still prefer earlier Andrew Bird (A Nervous Tic Motion into Fake Palindromes into Measuring Cups... my gosh, that's 10 incredible minutes of music), I understand why he's moved on to something else.

8. JPEGMAFIA – All My Heroes Are Cornballs

I've been in a rap rut. Kanye is putting out self-indulgent gospel albums. Chance and Drake are boring now. JAY Z is working with the NFL.

But the rut is mostly a lack of imagination on my part. There's a lot of rap out there that hasn't made it through my naive filter, and I want to seek more of it out in 2020. Case in point: JPEGMAFIA. He's weird, political, funny... all the things that the aforementioned rappers aren't (or at least, aren't anymore). All My Heroes Are Cornballs is the most hypnotic rap album I've listened to in years. The glitchy beats and effortless flow makes it impossible to turn off mid-album.

7. BROCKHAMPTON – Ginger

GINGER is a proper follow-up to the SATURATION trilogy. While Iridescence had some good tracks on it, the overall experience was jarring (not without reason, given what the group was going through with Ameer). GINGER reads (ok, plays) like an album in a way that the Saturations never did. While it may be spiritually linked to the Satursation, it's a complete departure sonically. Even though it's more constrained and less bombastic than their hits from that era, it feels much bigger and, ahem, More Important. That might not be to the taste of some of their fans, but I'm happy to have both versions of BROCKHAMPTON in my music library.

6. Lana Del Rey – Norman Fucking Rockwell!

Music publications couldn't get over the fact that on NFR!, Lana, yes LANA DEL REY, was wordsmithing at a high level. Is it that hard to believe that someone would become a better poet as they gained more life experiences, inching closer to the mystical 10,000 hours? Some of the praise may have gone a little overboard (and, frankly, seems rooted in a narrow, misogynistic view of Who Can Do Music Good™️™️™️), but I agree with the underlying principle of the praise: that this is a collection of well written and well performed songs. It has my favorite album closer of the year, "Hope Is a Dangerous Thing for a Woman Like Me to Have - but I Have It." I get chills just thinking about it.

5. Clairo – Immunity

I enjoyed my first listen.

On my second listen, I wondered if it was maybe too simple. I didn't listen again for several months.

But then, when I was working from Pittsburgh the week before Christmas, I listened again. And I couldn't stop listening. It's simpler music than many of the albums on this list, but it appeals to me for the same reason I had a fixation with Snail Mail's Lush this year: it's incredible that songs that sound so "simple" (and I truly do not mean simple in an insulting way) can still be different than anything we've heard before, and can still transfix us in new ways. Behold ye, the power of combinatorics!

4. Vampire Weekend – Father of the Bride

Channel Orange to Blonde was 4 years. There's nothing you can do to get your favorite artists to make music faster. There's some beauty in that... that if an artist is financially successful enough, they don't need to rush.

Modern Vampires of the City to Father of the Bride was 6 years (i.e., 20% of my lifetime). But at least there are no duds here, and "Harmony Hall" might sneak into my hypothetical favorite-songs-of-all-time pantheon.

3. Big Thief – Two Hands

Oh, but then a few months later, Big Thief gave us another album. They started working on it right after they finished U.F.O.F, which tracks based on every interview I've read with Adrianne Lenker. She talked about the insane touring and album release schedule they've been on in the past four years, but her point wasn't "I'm getting tired," but rather "let's see if I can do this forever." I saw them play at The Fillmore after they released Two Hands and I got the sense that Adrianne has to make and perform music. She was uncomfortable engaging in the standard nearly-identical pleasantries that artists share with the audience. She was shy. She was surprised to find that we were hanging on her every word and chord. It was relatable. She's the closest to a genius I've seen in an indie rock band in the last several years, although I'm sure she'd hate anyone calling her that.

That genius produced Two Hands, an affecting indie rock record that practically demands that you close your eyes because you need to experience it and only it.

2. Tyler, the Creator – IGOR

This year, I listened to IGOR over and over again. The hooks, verses, beats, and vibe are all infectious. Boring Steve says "hey, look, it's just a great album." I don't have a deeper thought about it. I eagerly await Tyler's next project.

1. Nilüfer Yanya – Miss Universe

This year, like 2009 a decade ago, was an exciting year to be an indie rock fan. Vampire Weekend and Bon Iver cemented their elder ("elder") statesperson statuses, Big Thief came into their own as a true force of nature, and acts like Clairo and Nilüfer made me extremely jazzed about the Ghost of Indie Future.

Nilüfer has a unique and delightful voice that punches through some really fun songwriting and arrangements. Like, what a dumb, awesome lyric:

Although I cannot tell if I'm paranoid

Or it's all in my head, it's all in my head

Miss Universe is her debut full-length album, and it's a lovable and off-kilter thesis statement for what I assume will be a lovable and off-kilter music career. I can better explain why some of the other albums on this list are great, but suffice it to say, the system rewards unique performances.

[sheepsandcattle]

Chapter 19

His hands are shaking from withdrawal or anger or both as he stirs the off-coloured liquid with the end of a syringe. His phone is pinging beside him, but he ignores it because he knows it’s Jeff asking where he is, and he can’t be arsed with it right now. He’s late. He knows.

Jules reckons he’s in over his head. He’s not making money like he used to, and he knows it’s because he got caught up in it all. He spends more time in the apartment than he does out on making deals these days. He’s barely making rent and Jules is charging him full for the drugs now and he was meant to be with Jeff and Dean an hour ago, sipping beer before they leave the apartment but instead, he’s doing junk on his bedroom floor because—

Hear him out. Everything’s just so fucking much recently. He’s always feeling so blinded and he just wants a bit of darkness.

Does that make sense?

The phone goes off yet again and he gives in, balancing the syringe on his knee as he sends a hurried text; ‘meet u there.’ He was meant to tell them ages ago. Most have forgotten.

After hurriedly drawing the liquid into the needle, he pulls the lace tight around his bicep to take the hit. When he’s done, he chucks the syringe into a mug and leans back onto the end of his bed. He’ll clean it later.

X-Ray Spex are playing so loud that the bass drowns out his pulse. The weight of it drags him into the ground, pins his hands down and his eyelids shut as he breathes through it; heavily through his mouth. He stays put for a while, listening to the music and letting the room evaporate around him until he’s floating in black tar.

He remembers listening to this album on a field with his best mate at seventeen, weed-high with his eyes shut and wishing he could disassociate; to stop feeling and smelling and seeing and hearing anything else around him. Just the music that made his brain jump about in his daft head.

Now he is buried in warm sand and all he can feel is the beat vibrating the ground and all he can smell is nothing and all he can see is black.

For a second, when the song ends and before the next one begins, he feels and smells and sees and hears absolutely nothing. Then Poly Styrene is chanting “I'm a cliché, I'm a cliché, I'm a cliché, I'm a cliché,” and all of his senses come back all at once.

He groans, counts to ten, and forces himself up from the ground. His legs fail him for half a second, but his elbow becomes acquainted with his dresser in time to stop the fall. He grabs a pack of fags whilst he’s there, counts himself in again, and slumps out of his room and through the apartment.

They’re going to a party tonight. It’s half ten at night and Jules has gone out for a fag, which he’d usually do inside but he’s pissed off as well.

He finds him sat on the curb outside, smoking steadily, eyes cast down to his phone. He looks up when the door shuts behind Curly, asks, “you ready,” and Curly nods.

They sit in silence in the car and split off when they get to the party. Curls finds Jeff and Dean almost immediately and sits with them in the living room, lighting a joint and sinking into the sofa as the conversation fills the rest of the air around him.

After an hour or so, Jeff asks, “Curls, are you good,” and Dean says, “man you don’t look right,” but he doesn’t feel like defending himself and he’s soon shuffling pitifully across the front yard to where Jules now sits on the curb with Oscar who’s fresh out of work.

Curls says, “I’m sorry, mate,” and falls beside Jules, arse hitting the pavement so hard his breath thumps and all the air within a twelve-mile radius fills his skull. He takes a long, deep breath to compose himself. “Sorry I’m a cunt, I aren’t like you. I’ve got nothing happening for me these days. It’s rubbish.”

He supposes he did blow up for no reason; didn’t want to come out tonight but didn’t want to be alone again. That’s all. He just wanted Jules to stay, because ever since he came clean about Jordan, he’s felt just a bit closer to his roommate, even if he never tended to say the right thing and, if anything, has become more distant than ever. He just wants someone to cling to for a while.

“That’s not my fault,” Jules scoffs, but he passes his lighter to Curly like a peace-offering. “You got fired. You ditched your guy. You cut your best friend off. You called your mom a… What was it?”

“A daft cow,” he mumbles, and they both laugh a little, but then pretend it never happened because they’re both still meant to be just a little bit angry.

“Right. You did that, not me.”

“I know,” he mumbles, and he feels so fucking minuscule. It’s not really that funny, is it? “It’s just… Shit. Feel like I’m going mental.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you need to get out more. Not just for deals,” Oscar chimes in now and great, he’s had enough of Curly, too. He wonders if Jules has filled their roommate in on Curly’s shit show. Jules nods along with Oscar.

“Yeah. I know, I know.” He doesn’t really know what else to say. “Can I nick a fag?”

Their place on the curb rings with a chilling silence, but the 'oh Curly’ type of laughter that follows washes the tension away and the air is breathable again.

The night feels easy after that and it turns out he isn’t fussed about being out of the apartment after all. The house is a bit rammed and Jeff is winding him up, giving him a look every time he opens another beer, but other than that, he feels comfortable. It’s the first time in weeks that he doesn’t feel like he’s buried in static and white noise.

“Hey Curls, you good?”

It’s a little later when Oscar nudges his shoulder and he’s drunk too, so Curly’s not embarrassed to slur his words.

“Yeh. Have y’got a lighter?”

“Ask me in thirty minutes,” Oscar says. “Oh, and Curls, go clean yourself up, man.”

Curly doesn’t understand why he has to wait or what he’s meant to be cleaning up, but he gets distracted soon after anyway, so it doesn’t really matter.

Dean kisses his cheek at some point. His beard itches and whilst he’s there he whispers, “you wanna crash with us tonight, buddy,” and Curly shakes his head but says, “cheers though.”

Dean’s wiping kitchen roll over Curly’s forearm and there’s a little blood on it but God knows why. Well, Curly knows why. Because he keeps forgetting to ‘rotate scenes’ or whatever it is Jules keeps badgering him about.

“Maybe you should head home,” Dean suggests. Curly walks off.

He dances alone in the kitchen for a bit, then in the living room and then talks to a bloke called Rooney about modern punks and how Curly reckons “it has a whole new meaning these days, and Morrissey is a complete arsehole. Always has been, mate,” but then realises Rooney is a knob who won’t pipe down about immigrants and all the rights he reckons they don’t deserve.

He tells Rooney to sod off and dances some more in the back yard instead with someone (or no one - who knows?)

Someone says, “your accent is bullshit,” and someone asks, “what are you on, dude? Got any spare?” Somebody else tells him, “yeah, no, I get it. Like I tried to go vegan once but…” something, something, something…

A boy with nice eyelashes tells him his hair is amazing and asks to touch it and, oh, at one point he speaks to a bloke named Henry. That’s his dad’s name and Henry says, “yeah, you already said.”

“Your hair’s growing like crazy,” Jordan tells him and... Oh.

Curly doesn’t remember starting a conversation with him, doesn’t even remember seeing him here. Doesn’t remember coming back inside from the back yard or how he ended up in an empty bath, fully clothed with him, shoes scuffing the sides of the tub.

“So why did you wanna talk to me in the bathtub?”

Oh. Alright. Wow, okay. Why did he want to do that?

He rubs his face. He thinks... He thinks. Think think think. Okay. The party was too full. Jeff said, “Curls, slow down,” and Dean said, “J, don’t bother. He’s had too much already.” Jules and Oscar went home (he thinks) and everyone said he should go with them, but he’s been having too much fun and doesn’t like being told when to stop.

“Everyone ’ad too much t’say.”

“Right… But what did you want to say?”

Fuck’s sake. What did he want to say? His head throbs when his temple hits the wall and, oh, was he tilting? Jordan’s hand slips between his head and the tiles, the other landing on the other side of his skull and bracing him.

“Curls, are you alright? Curly, hey.” Curly’s head is tilted back, J’s thumbs digging into his cheeks. “Open your eyes.”

“Yeh.” He does as he’s told, and it turns out his head isn’t tilted back after all, it’s just at the right angle to watch Jordan as he frowns. Didn’t even realise he’d closed his eyes in the first place. Why is he in a bath with— Oh, yeah. “I just… wanted t’say…. Fuckin’ell.”

“I’ll get Jeff-“

“No— jus’…” Curly’s hands are on Jordan’s face now, until the weight of them wins and they drop to his shoulders instead, grabbing the material of his shirt so they don’t fall away. “Are y’a’right?”

Jordan’s eyes narrow, his brows crease and his face tilts slightly. Then he laughs and Curly thinks God bless.

“You. You just wanna know if I’m alright?” His words are tinted with laughter and everything is warm and cool at the same time. “Yeah, Curls. I’m alright. Are you alright?”

He hums, blinking slowly, and when he opens his eyes, he’s on Jeff and Dean’s couch.

The apartment is dead quiet but there’s light coming through the blinds that someone forgot to close. He has a thick, knitted blanket draped over his top half, but he’s still got all his clobber on and his feet hang over the arm of the sofa, Dr. Martens weighing his ankles down. His arm is aching like mad when he feels around for his phone and when he looks down, he’s got a peeling plaster patched onto the crease of his elbow.

His phone has two missed calls and a new message. They’re all Jordan.

10:34 - text when your up

He’s ready to crawl up his own arse with embarrassment. He hesitates but texts back saying exactly that and, within two minutes, Jordan is ringing him.

He answers and forgets to say hello at first, but when he remembers, it’s sandy and his voice takes a second to wear in and the ‘h’ is missing.

“Morning. How’re you feeling?” Jordan’s voice feels worn and sleepy too and Curly can picture him now, in bed with his hair scruffy and his glasses on because contacts are too much effort for the first five minutes of his morning.

“Shite. Head’s killing me,” he grumbles, groaning as he rolls onto his back. “Fuck’s sake. Sorry for last night.”

Jordan laughs over the line and Curly hears him take a breath and reckons he’s getting out of bed or off the sofa. He wills himself to do the same, but only sinks further into the cushions as he listens to Jordan speak. “No need. You didn’t do anything.”

“Was I sick?” Silence. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, I was. Was it bad? Did I row with—“

“No, no,” he cuts him off and he’s giggling. Giggling. As if. “No puke, no rowing…”

Curly can’t quite decide if he wants more information or he’d prefer to stay blissfully unaware, so he stays quiet and waits for Jordan to decide for him.

“Your nose still bleeding?”

“What?”

“Never mind. Listen, about what you said last night: I get it. A’ight?” Curly racks his brain, trying to figure out what he could be on about, and Jordan must make sense of his silence. “If you don’t remember, it don’t matter, I just. I wanted you to know I’m sorry for—“

“Curly,” a voice chimes from behind him, and he finally pushes himself up from the sofa, met with Dean stretching his arms over his head as he makes his way from his room and towards the kitchen. “How are you feeling?”

“Is that…“ Jordan pauses. “Call me back later, yeah? We’ll talk about it.”

“No, it’s alright, now’s fine,” Curly insists, but the line’s already dead. Dean’s looking guilty, only now realising he’d been on the phone, but Curly says, “morning, mate. I feel like utter shit,” as he drops the phone into his lap.

“I bet you do,” Dean chuckles as he hobbles sleepily into the kitchen. Curly hears crockery clang as he calls, “hey, at least your nose stopped bleeding.”

[bondsmagii]

heya! 6, 11, 38, 49, 50 for the end of year thing? :)

hey! thank you ✨

6: If you traveled, where did you go?

I didn’t travel too far this year, but I did travel for some impressive lengths of time! I’ve spent the year going back and forth between Scotland and London, and spent three months living in the London Flat over the summer. it was a lot of fun, and very busy – I feel like I lived an entire year just in those three months alone!

11: What album came out and has been on heavy rotation since then?

I am a godless heathen with a finely trained YouTube algorithm so generally I don’t listen to albums so much as a series of songs that range across the last four decades 😂 I would say the album I’ve listened to the most songs from consistently has been Wasteland, Baby! by Hozier, though. because of course it’s Hozier.

38: What was the best moment of the year for you?

I’ve been lucky enough to have so many of these moments I can barely choose! there have been endless days lounging around by the loch, reading and studying; there have been so many delicious meals cooked at home at 2am while listening to music; there have been endless adventures in London, where even a simple bus ride through the quiet city at midnight can make me feel such love I can hardly contain it. there have been dinner parties and cocktail nights ending in ambulance rides home (more hilarious than it sounds, don’t worry!); there have been mammoth writing sessions in bookstore coffee shops and riding carousels in the cold December air. Christmas this year was phenomenal – Acton and I went to Hyde Park’s Winter Wonderland twice and just indulged in all the food and rides, and then Christmas Day was the biggest Christmas I’ve ever experienced in my life. truly I couldn’t choose. there were so many of them, most of them small and sudden, but all of them wonderful.

49: What do you wish for others for the coming year?

I hope that everything troubling them is left behind in this year; I wish for more solutions and answers than problems and questions, and I hope that this year everyone manages to fulfil all their resolutions perfectly, because that is always an achievement and means great things for everyone. and of course, health & happiness & hygge.

50: What do you wish for yourself?

answered!

end of year asks ✨🎉

[mandoandbb]

LOVER FIRST LISTEN

I wrote out my reaction to the Lover album songs as I listened to each one when I woke up this morning. Thank you Taylor for blessing us with this album and thank you for falling in love at the same time as me so I can relate to heavily to your love songs.

I forgot that you existed:

Fun beat, I like the music. I like the story, but I am pretty sure this was more about getting the whole drama story over at the beginning of the album so that both she and the rest of us could move on than actually being a song to listen to on repeat and I respect that. Nice tie in with the final song saying she had lost her sunshine - which she clearly gets back by the end. Standout lyric: “Lived in the shade you were throwing ‘Til all of my sunshine was gone, gone, gone”

Cruel summer:

I like it but it feels a bit like a song I’ve already heard, you know what I mean? The lyrics are definitely more on point with what I heard in reputation, not the “Old Taylor” we had back in the singles. I was already singing along to the chorus by the end of the song. Standout lyric: “Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes, if I bleed you’ll be the last to know” I’ll probably use that in an insta caption someday

Lover:

Heard this already obviously, love the whole thing but ADORE the wedding bit near the end. Taylor says this is her favourite song she’s ever written and I definitely wouldn’t go that far but it definitely has some fantastic imagery and she did a great job with it. Standout lyrics: “My heart’s been broken and yours has been blue, all’s well that ends well to end up with you” and a personal shoutout to “I’ve loved you three summers now honey but I want em all” because that’s just right for me!

The man:

This is such an accurate representation of how Taylor has been treated in the media and the sexism she faces as a woman writing music! Really well written. I’m very impressed with how she flipped the narrative around for this without victimizing herself for it. I don’t know how much I’ll want to listen to it on repeat though. Standout lyric: “They say I hustled, put in the work. They wouldn't shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve”

The archer:

Another single I’ve already heard, so not a first listen. Adore the verses of this song, the imagery and the sound. I definitely think it’s more about Taylor’s relationship with herself rather than any type of romantic story. Standout lyric: ‘Screaming, "Who could ever leave me darling... But who could stay?"’

I think he knows:

Definitely not my favourite from a first listen. Very cute lyrics and I might come to enjoy it more after a few more listens. Started to like it more by the end even. A little too fast and high overall though. Standout lyric: ‘“So where we gonna go?"

I whisper in the dark. “Where we gonna go?" I think he knows’

Miss americana and the heartbreak prince:

What a LONG title. I quite like the sound but the lyrics will definitely take some time to unravel. Pretty excellent beat though. The bridge is very reminiscent of a high school football game (on purpose obviously with the “go, fight, win”) but I wonder why. Standout lyric: It's you and me, that's my whole world

Paper rings:

Made me smile as soon as it started playing. Yessss that bridge. Oh shit almost crying at the chorus. God I definitely love this. I wish it was slower I’d use it as a wedding dance song. I want to hear a slowed down acoustic version asap. I am very happy with this song. As is its perfect for a happy romcom. Standout lyrics: “I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings” and the whole bridge “Kiss me once 'cause you know I had a long night. Kiss me twice 'cause it's gonna be alright. Three times 'cause I've waited my whole life” AND “Honey, without all the exes, fights, and flaws, we wouldn't be standing here so proud”

Cornelia street:

I don’t think I’ve ever been to Cornelia street in London but I’ll need to now. I quite like the sound of this but I feel like it’s going to be one the ones I forget after I finishing listening to it you know? The music is great but I am finding it hard to concentrate on the lyrics. I definitely relate to the story though, no way I could go back to Waterloo if this love ended. Standout lyric: “We were a fresh page on the desk, filling in the blanks as we go”

Death by a thousand cuts:

Not sure about the starting. Ok, better than I was expecting from the title. VERY interesting instruments I like them. Reeeeally love that bridge actually. Yes. Definitely want another listen if this. Not what I was expecting from the beginning and I’m very impressed actually. Standout lyric: “My heart, my hips, my body, my love, tryna find a part of me that you didn't touch”

London boy:

I think I mostly like this because of the references of London places that I’ve been! I also love high tea and Camden market. But the sound is really fun and catchy too, this will stay in rotation for sure. Standout lyric: “They say home is where the heart is, but that's not where mine lives”

Soon you’ll get better:

Ugh it hasn’t even started yet but I know it’s about her mum’s cancer I’m not ready to listen. Ok. Let’s try. Yup here we go here’s the tears. Dammit. I need to call my mum. This is obviously beautiful but please don’t mind if I never ever listen to it ever again. OH DEAR GOD her shuddering breath in the final chorus. Nope, never again. Standout lyrics: “I know delusion when I see it in the mirror” And “And I hate to make this all about me, but who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do if there's no you?”

False god:

Not sure about this one. The lyrics or the sound. Maybe with a few more listens it will grow on me but I don’t think I’ll love it. Also the “the alter is my hips” line kinda squicks me out. I’m not huge on the lyrics in general. Kinda reminds me of Dress from Reputation but nowhere near as good. Standout lyric: “I know heaven's a thing, I go there when you touch me, honey. Hell is when I fight with you”

You need to calm down:

Obviously a MAJOR bop and made moreso when the video came out. But to be fair the very first time I listened to it the “uh oh uh oh UH OH” bit seemed like too much so some songs need a sec to show their true rainbow colours. Love this. It’s a bop and an anthem. Standout lyric: “Shade never made anybody less gay” (which I’ve already used in an insta caption tbh)

Afterglow:

Not bad but not really catching me so far. The chorus is nice. I’m a bit underwhelmed overall. It’s good but not a standout. At least not at first listen. Standout lyric: I need to say, hey, it’s all me, just don't go... Meet me in the afterglow”

Me!:

Another single that is a clear and obvious bop. Yes we all know the “hey kids spelling is fun” bit is foolish but that’s the fun of this song: it’s FUN and it doesn’t mind being a little foolish. This song is a delight and Brendon Urie is a treasure. Standout lyric: “Livin’ in winter, I am your summer” (another lyric I’ve already used as in insta caption

It’s nice to have a friend:

The dumb title is giving me a bad vibe before it even starts. Uhhh weird starting with mandolin sounds... yeah wtf is this song? It feels very... off... with the mandolin sounds (unless I’m missing something here) and the lyrics leave a lot to be desired. Yeah for sure not my fave. Honestly doesn’t have a standout lyric.

Daylight:

Been looking forward to this closer for the whole album I have high hopes. It’s almost 5 minutes long. Yes it definitely feels like an old school Taylor Swift closer. Love the build up of the first few verses. It IS brighter now, Taylor. For me too. This isn’t a bop that I want on repeat but I feel peace listening to it and it sums up both her love and mine. Strong finish. Nice recorded voice memo at the end too. Standout lyric: I once believed love would be burning red, but it's golden like daylight”

Overall, I really enjoyed this album and can’t WAIT for a tour. Paper Rings was my favourite song that wasn’t a single but honestly Taylor is a genius and I respect everything she creates because she does it with love and care and precision. Xoxo.

[artemissarrows]

The Most Beautiful Moment In Life: #BTSxCitiField

Wow. I’m home back from New York, where I had the amazing gift of being able to see BTS live on their Love Yourself world tour. I’m literally out of words to describe it, but I’ll try.

I saw in someone’s post about seeing them on the Wings tour that they were sad for a week after and I thought to myself, “it’s just a concert! How the heck would that happen?”

...and here I am, having cried a bunch of times in the last two days (though none of them actually during the concert, there was too much adrenaline), now I am living it.  I really feel it in my body. I’m exhausted. My voice is destroyed from so much cheering and fan-chanting. But I’m also sort of happy about that, because it’s a marker of having gone through that experience and I want to hold onto that. I was off work Monday and spent the entire day at my house watching Bon Voyage and Run episodes (didn’t realize they were only 20 minutes!!) to console myself.

I’m sad the concert’s over, and I’m also sad that the Love Yourself era is also basically over too, some additional concert dates notwithstanding. This era really encapsulates everything I love about BTS: their positive message, their incredible songwriting and producing and music in general, and their growth as artists. I have complete faith in our boys that whatever comes next will be fantastic and that they’ll keep growing, I just desperately hope this isn’t their peak. But regardless, I’m glad I got to see this show because it felt like such a special one—their first sold-out North America stadium show. And it seems like BTS felt like it was special as well.

I’m also feeling intense love, because love is at the heart of it all. BTS’ love for ARMY and their earnest and sincere desire that we love ourselves, and be our best selves (see: Magic Shop, etc). And ARMY’s love and deep appreciation for BTS seeing us and our struggles, and believing in our ability to succeed. I was a little leery of calling myself an ARMY before this concert, mostly because of ARMY’s reputation on the internet as being kind of a crazy and intense fandom, but I fully embrace ARMY-dom now, because I understand that it’s really all about love.

So to recap, I’m going to do some best-ofs and link to Twitter and Insta pictures and videos. My phone camera is the literal worst, which is why I unfortunately don’t have any of my own!

Best deep thought: RM, our leader, always and forever. Sometimes I forget that he’s a literal genius because he’s also so derpy and cute, and then it’s moments like this that I re-remember that he does absolutely nothing related to their music or public presentation by accident or without forethought.

Via @mimibtsghost

He—and all of them, really—understand so well their role in our lives and our role in theirs. ARMY loves BTS, and BTS loves all of us so much, and truly wants us all to be happy and to live our best and whole selves. RM literally said this in his UN speech (which he also mentioned). When he says Speak Yourself, I think what he means is a combination of “Tell your story,” “Speak out,” and “Speak your truth.”

Best bias wreck: Jimin

Now I’m one of those people who legit loves all the members almost the same (except for Jin, I don’t love him quite as much) and my biases are Suga and V, but only by a little. But oh my goodness, Jimin was such a bias-wrecker in this concert. His solo set was ridiculous, he was wearing this beautiful sparkly top and did his amazing lyrical dance moves. So many eyebrow quirks and hearts. I’m completely dead. The friend I was with is a Jimin stan, and I think they were like, “how did it take you this long???” I now have three coequal biases. Here’s a good one, and this cutie pic.

Best corny-yet-adorable moments: J-Hope and V

J-hope’s Trivia: Just Dance stage was J-Hope being a major hype-man for the entire concert. And oh man, did it work. He’s such an exuberant live performer and the perfect choice for the second song. That white suit?? And his joy and enthusiasm is completely infectious. Hope World was my favorite of the three rappers’ mixtapes, and I was happy that his Trivia song was very much in that style, lots of old-school rap vibes. His joy is just so pure.

Also, Taehyung’s sign-off for ARMY at the end of the show: “You are the brighest stars in my universe.” Corny, but sweet and touching; also poetic because the ARMY bombs really do look like stars to the performers on stage, and we are orbiting around them, pulled into their gravity. Ah, V, so poetical as always <3

Unexpected song I liked live: Epiphany

Jin’s not my favorite member (see above), and I’m honestly a bit mystified by why people seem to like him so, so much. I’m also not a lover of ballads, usually, and the Epiphany video was fine but not one of my favorites. But I really liked this song live, way more than I was expecting to. Jin does have a really great voice, and it’s a bit less breathy than Jungkook’s in particular (still love you, Jungkook, you also sound great live!) He really gave a powerful vocal performance, and I’m going to put Epiphany back in my listening rotation…..after I listen to Suga’s I Need You x Seesaw remix another 15 times, sorrynotsorry.

Best gay/ship moments: Vkook, Suga

Vkook showed up again at this concert in force! One moment I saw myself, one I missed and found later on Twitter.

1) Tae hopped onto Jungkook’s back for a piggyback ride. It was super-brief but I know it happened because I distinctly remember thinking, “huh, usually Tae hops on Jungkook’s back, but Jungkook hopped on Tae’s this time. Interesting!” Turns out I was wrong and Tae hopped onto Jungkook as usual! Here’s a still, via @harchu2

2) Apparently, Tae also gave Jungkook a little kiss and/or nuzzle on the neck at the end. I completely missed this myself, but hey, it’s there on the video. Vkook, you’re being so loud <3

Suga’s Seesaw performance also pinged my gaydar in a major way, I’m not even sure why myself. He started off lying on this white couch. And he’s just so sassy. And this sparkly red top with a sash that he was wearing. Suga, you’re the best. Here’s a really nice pic, via @maggiejslg + Seesaw clip

Best PSA: RM

Three separate times, RM said that we shouldn’t shove one another for our safety. Our boys are so considerate and want everyone to have a good time!

Most impressive stunts: V, Suga

V’s Singularity set was fcking amazing. He’s really the most stellar performer, such a true artist. It seems positively unbelievable that he’s only 22 (what the heck was I doing when I was 22??). His little video before his solo stage (all members had them) was him surrounded by dark flowers and a pane of glass that frosted over. The hand-in-the-coat dance, and his backup dancers with masks that moved with him…the visuals of his set were stunning, and his singing was really stellar live (well, truly, everyone’s was). Here’s a clip.

In Suga’s Seesaw performance, he did this slick little stunt where he slid down a lit white long prop bar, like a seesaw. It looked really cool. I love the song Seesaw, it really shows how versatile Suga is, and his performance was a giant f-you to everyone who thinks he can’t sing or dance.

Best surprise songs: Dope and So What

Dope has always been one of my favorite songs. It’s so clearly and lovingly descended from 90’s American boy band stuff, but updated and, frankly, better. It’s got the killer hook and the great dancing, and is almost always the first video I show someone when I’m trying to explain why I love this K-pop band so much. I thought there was next to no chance of their playing it, but they did!!! I can die happy now. It was part of the medley in the middle, including Boyz With Fun, Attack On Bangtan, Fire, Bapsae (another one I was thrilled to hear), and Dope.

So What is also lowkey my favorite LYS: Tear track (though like the members, really only by a little on what’s a phenomenal album overall). I knew there wasn’t a dance for it so I didn’t think they’d play it, and was so, so thrilled when they did! It was like having a huge party with BTS and ARMY at the end of the show.

Best emotional vulnerability moment: Jimin

Jimin did some excellent crying at the end of the show, when they all came out in black t-shirts and addressed ARMY directly. Oh my goodness, it was so cute and sweet. They’ve really come so far; Yoongi tends to respond through bravado and celebrating their accomplishments, and Jimin cries. I just love so much that he’s modeling being emotional and vulnerable, and everyone just wants to give him a big ol’ hug.

Such beautiful crying.

Best Jungkook moment: End filming

At the very end of the concert, right as they were about to sink down into the floor, Jungkook grabbed a camera and started filming ARMY. I was just like, “wow, they want to remember this night just as much as we want to.”

Favorite fanchant: DNA

There were so many fun fanchant moments. My only regret is that I didn’t learn the words to Seesaw better (@StanningBTSpod, you did warn me, I should have!) But DNA has the name bit at the beginning, and BTS! BTS! BTS! in the chorus, it was just super fun. Toward the end of the concert honestly there was so much screaming and such that it was hard to even hear the fanchants. That was fine too! 

Happy me success moments 

Met the wonderful @daftlolita waiting in line to get into the venue, it was super great to hang out! 

I made this jacket, and got a bunch of compliments! My entire goal was to find other queer ARMYs and I think I pretty much succeeded. 

I also gave out most of the pins I made (made a bunch of extra ones precisely for that purpose). I don’t love Twitter that much and much prefer interacting with people in person, and generally feel like I succeeded on that front.

I kinda wish I’d gotten at least a little merch, but honestly the ticket was expensive enough. I also kinda wanted an ARMY bomb, but also, see ticket price. I tried to go to the BT21 store in Times Square on Sunday before I left and it was an hour wait so….no go on that one, I’ll get back to New York soon though.

At the end of it all, I cannot tell you how indescribably proud I am to call myself an ARMY. Although our fandom has its flaws for sure because we live in a broken world, to me, being an ARMY means co-creating a better world with BTS. A happier world.

A world where we love ourselves.

A world where there’s no stigma attached to mental illness and we can ask for the help we need

Where we take care of one another and are mindful of others (no shoving!!)

Where we celebrate and embrace difference

Where all young people have the resources they need to thrive

And where people of all races, genders, and ranges of life experience come together to express joy. I’m tearing up again as I write this.

Arundhati Roy has this beautiful quote that I’ve seen around activist spaces. It goes, “Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.”

I saw a small glimpse of that world at #BTSCitiField. Janelle Monae will lead us through the narrow places into that world. Or, as BTS have it, from the desert to the ocean. And BTS will be there to make sure we drink enough water and are good to one another while we’re moving forward.

Suga, you said you’d be back. I’ll hold you to that promise.

And please, wear that red sparkly top again. It was absolutely killer. I purple all of you beautiful, special, luminous men who are making our world better, one song at a time.