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scorpionyx9621 · 3 years

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Do you think Jason Todd fandom is kinda toxic? Because it seems like NO MATTER what DC do, there'll always be complains. Forget the bad adaptation like Titans. Even Judd Winick cannot escape the criticism with how he potrayed Robin!Jason. They just never satisfied.

SORRY, IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO RESPOND TO THIS. I just moved from Washington D.C. to Seattle, which, for my non-American friends, that's 4442km away. And I DROVE THERE ALL BY MYSELF. And now I'm trying to find new work in a new city and trying to stay mentally healthy and positive. Life is exciting but hard and scary.

*sighs*

As someone who was a fandom elder with V*ltr*n. I've seen some of the worst when it comes to fandom behavior. I'm talking people baking food with shaving razors and trying to give them to the showrunners. I'm talking leaking major plot details and refusing to take it down unless they make their ship canon (I am looking at you, Kl*nce stans) For the most part, DC Comics has had a decades-long reputation of treating their fans like trash and not caring what they think so from what I've seen, we all just grumble and complain in our corners of the internet about how we don't like how X comic portrays Jason Todd.

The challenge with Jason Todd is that he's your clinical anti-hero, the batfamily's Draco in Leather Pants, he's a jerkass woobie, and on top of all of that, he's a Tumblr sexyman. It's a perfect storm for a very fun but frustrating character to be a fan of. It doesn't help that every writer decides to re-invent the wheel every time Jason comes up so his canon lore is confusing at best and inconsistent as a standard.

I guess starting with a general brief on who Jason is and what is uniform about him with every instance he's appeared in comics/media.

Grew up in a poor family in Gotham with a dad who was a petty-mid-level criminal, and a mother who dies of a drug overdose.

Survives on the street on his own by committing petty crimes and potentially even engaging in sexual acts to keep himself alive.

Is cornered by Batman and taken in after Dick Grayson quits/is fired

Becomes the second Robin, but is known for being the harsher, more brutal Robin.

Is killed by Joker after being tortured, but somehow comes back to life and regains senses through the Lazarus Pit

Resolves himself to be better than Batman by basically being Batman but kills people.

Where there has been a lot of conflict in the fandom is the fact that Jason Todd is not a character that is written consistently. DC Comics loves to go with the narrative that Jason was "bad from the start" and was the "bad robin" when, yes, he has trouble controlling his anger, but he also still is just as invested in seeing the best of Gotham City and trying to be a positive change for the world as any other DC Comics hero.

Where I get frustrated with the fandom is its ability to knit-pick every detail of a comic they don't like while completely disregarding everything that makes the comics great and worth it to read. My example being Urban Legends. To which most people had pretty mixed reactions to. I was critical of the comic at first but as it went along I ended up really liking it. I have a feeling DC Comics went to Chip Zdarsky and told him he had 6 issues to bring Jason back into the Bat Family, and honestly he didn't do a bad job. Did it feel rushed? Absolutely. I wish there was more development of Jason and Bruce's characters and their dynamic as a whole. However, where I see a lot of people being angry and upset with Urban Legends is that they feel Zdarsky needlessly wrote Jason as an incompetent fool who needs Bruce to save him.

Whether or not that was the intention of Zdarsky is up to debate. However, and this may be controversial, but I don't think he wrote Jason Todd out of character at all. For as fearsome, intimidating, and awesome as Red Hood is. Jason is a character who is absolutely driven by his emotions. Why do you think he donned the role of Red Hood? As a response to his anger towards The Joker for killing him, and towards Bruce for not taking action against The Joker and for seemingly replacing him so quickly after he died. Jason didn't care about being the murderous Robin Hood or for being the bloody hammer of justice against N*zi's and P*d*ph*les. He only cared originally about making The Joker and Bruce pay. It wasn't until he trained under the best assassins in the world and realized most of them were horrific criminals who trafficked children and were p*dos that Talia began to realize that the teachers that she sent Jason to train under started dying horrific and painful deaths.

The entire story of the Cheer story in Batman Urban Legends was started because it finally forced some consequences upon Jason. Tyler, aka Blue Hood's father was a drug dealer who gave his supply to his wife and kids. And when Tyler's father admitted he gave the drugs to Tyler, it immediately made him fall within the self-imposed philosophical kill-list of Jason Todd. And Jason, well, he proceeds to kill Tyler's father. When this happens, Jason is in shock. Tyler's dad fit the bill to easily and justifiably be killed by Jason. We've never seen Jason having to deal with the consequences of being a murderous vigilante on a micro-level. When Jason realizes what he's done in that he's murdered Tyler's dad, he's shocked. He tells Babs the truth. He does a rational thing because he's in shock. He doesn't know what to do, he never has had to face the consequences of his actions as Red Hood and now the gravity of befriending a child as a vigilante hero who kills people just set in when he killed the father of the same child he was just introduced to.

(Oh here's a little aside because it had to be said, Jason would not have been a good father or a good mentor to Tyler and absolutely should not have been his new Robin. Jason is a man who is in his early 20's (not saying men in their early 20's can't be good fathers at all) who is a brutal serial killer using the guise of a vigilante anti-hero to let him escape most of the law. the complications of having the man who murdered your father adopt you and make you his sidekick are way too numerous for me to explain in a long-winded already heavy Tumblr essay post. There's a reason why we don't advocate for a story where Joe Chill adopted Bruce Wayne or one where Tony Zucco took in Dick Grayson.)

The next biggest argument is that they feel that Jason is giving up his guns as a means to just be invited back into the Bat-Family. To which I will tell anyone who has that argument to go actually read Urban Legends. Already have and still have that argument? Please re-read it. Don't want to? That's okay, I will paste the images from the comic where Jason specifically says that he doesn't want to give up his weapons for Bruce and his real reasoning down below since the comic isn't exactly readily accessible.

Jason gave up the guns because he felt the gravity of what he had done and knows how it'll effect Tyler. Thankfully his mom is alive and in recovery. But Tyler doesn't have a father anymore. And Jason killed Tyler's father. It may have been in accordance to Jason's philosophy, but it was a case where it blurred the lines. Jason Todd isn't a black and white character, just very dark gray. He doesn't kill aimlessly like the Joker. If you are on Jason's list you probably have done something pretty horrific, and also just in general, being in his way or being a threat to him. Mind you, in early days of Red Hood and the Outlaws (Image below) Jason almost killed 10 innocent civilians in a town in Colorado all because they saw him kill a monster. That being said, Jason isn't aimless in his kills.

(Also can we just take a moment to appreciate Kenneth Rocafort's art? DC Comics said we need to rehabilitate Jason Todd's image and Kenneth Rocafort said hold my beer: It's so SO GOOD)

That being said, the key emphasis in the story of Cheer asides from trying to introduce Jason Todd back into the Bat Family and give an actual purpose for him being there, other than him just kind of being there ala Bowser every time he shows up for Go Kart racing, Tennis, Golf, Soccer, and the Olympic games when Mario invites him, is that Jason and Bruce ultimately both want the same thing. Jason wants to be welcomed back into the family and to be loved and appreciated. Bruce want's Jason back as his son and wants to love and protect Jason. Both of these visions are shown in the last chapter of Cheer while under the effect of the Cheer Gas. It's ultimately this love and appreciation they both have for each other that helps them overcome their challenge and win.

Jason Todd is a character who, just like Bruce, has been through so much pain and so much hate in his life. The two are meant to parallel each other. While Bruce chose to see the best in everyone, giving every rogue in his gallery the option to be helped and give them a second chance, hence why he never kills, Jason has a similar view on wanting to protect the public, but he understands that some crimes are so heinous they cannot be forgiven, or that some habitual criminals are due to stay habitual criminals, and need to be put down. But at the end of the day, the two of them both try to protect people in their own ways.

I am aware that through the writings of various DC Comics authors such as Scott Lobdell and Judd Winick, the two have had a very tumultuous relationship. And rightfully so, I am by no means saying that Scott Lobdell writing an arc where Bruce literally beats Jason to within an inch of his life in Red Hood and the Outlaws, nor Judd Winick's interpretation of Under the Red Hood where Bruce throws the Batarang at Jason's neck, slicing his throat and leaving him ambiguously for dead at the end of the comic is appropriate considering DC Comics seems to be trying everything they can to integrate Jason back into the family. That being said, a lot of these writings have shaped the narrative of Jason and Bruce's relationship and have an integral effect on the way the fandom views the two. It doesn't help that Zdarsky acknowledged Lobdell's life-beating of Jason by Bruce at the very end of Cheer by having Bruce give Jason his old outfit back as a means of mending the fence between the two of them. That does complicate a lot of things in terms of how they are viewed by the fandom and helps to cause an even greater divide between the two.

Regardless, I want to emphasize the fact that Jason Todd is a part of the family of his own accord. Yes, he's quite snarky and deadpan in almost every encounter. However, Jason is absolutely a part of the family and has been for a while of his own will. There's a great moment in Detective Comics that emphasizes this. Jason cares about his family because it is his found family. Yes, they may be warry about him and use him as a punching back and/or heckle him. At the end of the day, we're debating the family dynamics of a fictional playboy billionaire vigilante whose kleptomania took the form of adopting troubled children and turning them into vigilante heroes. Jason Todd wants a family that will love and support him. This is a key definition of his character at its most basic. This was proven during the events of Cheer and is being reenforced by DC Comics every time they get the opportunity to do so.

Now, none of this is to say that I hate Judd Winick. I do not, I don't like the fact that in all of his writings of Jason, he just writes him as a dangerous psychopath, and Winick himself admits to seeing Jason as nothing much more than a psychopath. Yet Winick is the one who the majority of the fandom clings to as the one true good writer of Jason Todd because 'Jason was competent, dangerous, smart' Listen, friends, Jason is all of that and I will never deny it. However, what I love about Jason isn't that he's dangerously smart of that writers either write him as angsty angry Tumblr sexyman bait or that they write him as an infantile man child with a gun. There's a large contention of this fandom that has an obsession with Jason Todd being this vigilante gunman who is hot and sexy and while I definitely get the appeal. It is very creepy and downright disturbing that all of you hyperfixate on his use of guns and ability to be a murderer. It is creepy and I'm not necessarily here for it.

What I love about Jason Todd is that despite all of the pain, all of the heartache, all of the betrayal, and bullying, and death, and anguish. Jason Todd is one of the most loving and supportive characters in all of DC Comics. Jason has been through so much in his life, but he still chooses to love. He still chooses to see the bright side in people. Yes, he takes a utilitarian approach and chooses to kill certain villains, but at the end of the day he wants to see a better world, and he wants to be loved. It takes so much courage and so much heart to learn to love again after one has been abused or traumatized. I would not blame Jason at all if he said fuck it and just went full solo and vigilante evil. He has every right to, but he still chooses to be with the Bat Family of his own accord. That's something that I see a lot of in myself. I have been through a lot of trauma and yet I try to be a better person myself in any way that I can. It is extremely admirable of Jason to allow love back into his heart when he really doesn't need to. He kills and he protects because he has this love of society. It may have been shaped by anger and hatred, but Jason has found his place amongst people who love him and value him. I think Ducra, from Red Hood and the Outlaws put it best in the image given below.

To end this tangent, I love Jason Todd and all of his sexy dangerousness, but it's far more than that. As much as Jason may be dangerous and snarky, he loves his family without a shadow of a doubt. I look up to Jason Todd because despite all of his pain and all of his trauma, he still choses to love. Jason Todd is a character who is someone I love because despite all of his flaws and having a very toxic fandom, he still serves as a character filled with so much heart and so much passion. I wish more writers would understand that. But for now I will live with what I have. Even though the fandom may be vocal about it's hatred for his characterization, I choose to love Jason regardless because he is a character who chooses love and acceptance regardless of his pain. Jason Todd is by no means a good person in any sense of the word. He has easily killed upwards of 100 people by now. He is a character who is flawed and complex but ultimately is one who powers forwards and finds love and heart in a place from so much pain and anguish. That is what I love about Jason Todd. After all, to quote a famous undead robot superhero, "What is grief, if not love persevering?" Jason Todd chooses to love despite all of the trauma and pain and grief. Yes, he is hardened in his exterior, but inside there is a man with a lot of love to give and someone who deserves the world in my eyes.

#Long post GOD #Jason Todd #Red Hood #Bat Family #Batman #red hood and the outlaws #RHATO #RH:O #Batman Urban Legends #Red Hood Lost Days #TW Voltron #TW Death #tw murder #TW Klance #Gotta love how i am pouring my heart out onto jason AND calling out the Voltron fandom #Regardless love Jason Todd people

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lucemferto · 3 years

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Niki Nihachu & Barbara Kean

Gonna drop something controversial real quick.

Niki Nihachu is the most tragic character on the Dream SMP – and I don’t mean in the sense of her having a tragic story (though she is up there), but in the sense that she is tragically mishandled.

I want to start out by saying that this essay is by no means an attack on the content creator Niki Nihachu or her abilities as a performer. She is frequently one of the strongest actors on the SMP and I have no idea how much of her character writing was within her power. How much of it was improv, how much pre-planned, how much something she genuinely wanted to do and how much stuff she just stumbled into or – in the worst-case scenario – was forced upon her. I don’t know.

The Dream SMP is not very transparent when it comes to their creative process. As such I can only judge it as a discerning viewer and English major dropout, who retained some half-remembered stuff about narratology.

So, a few weeks ago, I tumbled on here that Niki’s character journey reminded me a lot of the character Barbara Kean from the hit TV-show Gotham. Then I got an ask asking me to elaborate. This is the elaboration.

Barbara Kean

So, a quick crash course for people who haven’t seen Gotham (the greatest comic book show on Television, seriously, what are you doing with your life?!): Barbara Kean was a major female character throughout all five seasons of Gotham – and not once during those five seasons did the writers ever figure out what they wanted to do with her.

Every 10-12 episodes or so, Barbara’s role shifted completely. She started out as cop-protagonist Jim Gordon’s girlfriend at home and moral compass, then became part of a bisexual love triangle, then a hard-drinking jealous party girl with a backstory as repressed, lonely rich kid, before being kidnapped by a serial killer and ultimately making her perfect metamorphosis into the psychotic ex-girlfriend trope.

And that was Season 1.

Since then, she became the pseudo-Harley Quinn to the pseudo-Joker, a whip-wielding dominatrix, the obligatory female member in a supervillain squad, some sort of information broker, a mafia kingpin, the leader of a girl-power posse and – my favourite – the reincarnated wife of an ancient immortal who also controls all of Gotham and transferred that control over to her before that plot-point was dropped harder than a half-dead Oswald Cobblepot of the Gotham piers.

Also, she’s Batgirl’s mom.

In short, it’s a mess – but that’s what makes Gotham kinda fun.

Character Cohesion

Now, obviously, Niki’s character journey has not been quite as extreme. But it falls into the same traps, I find. Namely, that there’s just a distinct lack of character cohesion or character continuity.

Now, character cohesion or character continuity doesn’t mean that the arcs these characters undertake can’t be explained in a logical way. Barbara’s character journey is logical in the sense that you can explain it all with in-universe logic – but it’s not logical from a narratological sense now, is it?

Character Cohesion basically means that a character’s journey is reflected in their personal conflict – their Want vs. Need. Their arc is the natural continuation of what was set-up in previous sequences. Everything falls into a whole with Set-up, Confrontation, Resolution – we set up the character’s Want, their Want and Need are conflicting, the Want vs. Need is resolved. Ideally this coincides with the plot beats of the large conflict surrounding the cast.

When you look at Barbara in Season 1 of Gotham, you’re not thinking “This one right here – she’s the reincarnated wife of Ra’s Al Ghul”. Because why would you? There was no set-up; it’s not part of what her character was about in this moment – or any moment before that concept was introduced. It’s not needed for her character conflict (or any thematic conflicts for that matter).

It’s quite transparently just something that is affixed to her so that she has something until the writers come up with the next at which that first thing will dropped, underdeveloped.

Niki in Season 1

Niki follows the same route, unfortunately. She’s set-up as the resistance in L’Manburg, allies herself with Eret and HBomb until – oops – it doesn’t end mattering, because that entire side of the “plot” is completely underdeveloped. Just be a damsel until Wilbur can swoop in and save you, Niki.

Okay, but now she has a big moment with Tommy and Tubbo just after the pit-scene. “We’ll figure something out”, she says. “We need L’Manburg back”. This is all before the backdrop of Wilbur completely giving in to his role as a villain and Techno’s apparent “betrayal”.

So, now, surely, Niki is gonna affect change in Pogtopia and will have some influence on either Tommy or Wilbur, the two people she’s closest to. What’s this? Her biggest contribution is holding a birthday party where Quackity convinces Wilbur to hold off on his TNT-plan? And after that … she’s just gonna be part of the Pogtopia-masses?

Now, I like Wilbur’s writing and Season 1 generally, but when it comes to Niki (and Eret) something went terribly wrong. Both of them provided many a set-up – none of which were taken advantage of, unfortunately.

And, just to be clear, I’m not putting the blame on Niki here (or at least not most of it). Season 1 was pretty firmly in Wilbur’s hand … and Season 2 was a train wreck.

Niki in Season 2

Niki is – for the most part of Season 2 – a nothing character. She has no real conflict, no character beats, no arc. This is because through some unfortunate writing decisions, Season 2 is pretty squarely focused on a specific set of characters – and even fewer of those characters are granted a fully explored, completed character arc.

It all culminates in her Doomsday villain arc – a moment that can be logically explained from both an in-character perspective and a meta-perspective, but unfortunately, it’s not justified from a technical writing point of view.

Niki burning down the L’Mantree is her “Ra’s Al Ghul’s reincarnated wife”-moment. It’s a big statement that put her character on the map for a large part of the audience again. It was a striking visual. It could not be ignored.

Most of that was because it was a stark departure from her characterization in Season 1. Now, such a departure doesn’t necessarily have to be bad. The problem comes in when

a.) The full potential of the character in their previous narrative role had not yet been fully or even partly exhausted

b.) It cuts into an on-going character arc and drastically changes its course

c.) It’s not foreshadowed or developed properly.

And most of those are true for Niki’s character. She was not necessarily underdeveloped but underexplored in Season 1 and had no consistent storyline going on in Season 2. She was a witness to Tommy’s trial, but that was never worked into an on-going storyline for her. No matter how much we retroactively pretend like this turn to villainy, this breakdown, was brewing deep inside of her – there was no foreshadowing.

The reason, why I said it’s understandable from a meta-perspective, is that the content creator Niki Nihachu had a self-admittedly hard time getting her foot in in Season 2 – because Season 2, for as much love as I will heap upon Tommy’s and Dream’s storyline, was a pretty messy.

So, the villain arc was not well foreshadowed and Niki’s turn was developed, but what happened after she was in it?

Niki in Season 3

Well, unfortunately that problem of an inconsistent storyline never really went away for her. In the beginning of Season 3, she hatched her wagons with Jack Manifold, which was a pretty big tonal shift – from darkly tragic to cartoonish villainy.

But as Jack kept developing his character in that lane and following up on big plot development with corresponding character moments, Niki again just … vanished. She then changed gears again, joining the Syndicate – a great idea if only the Syndicate actually streamed together and developed a storyline and group cohesion.

As it stands right now, Niki’s character exists in the negative space of the fandom imaginations. We are given some scraps and good character moments – her sleeping in a jail cell, “I started baking again”, her secret city – but those moments never coalesce into a full-fledged storyline.

Her character’s journey is still as fragmented and underexplored as it ever was. I really hope that – with Wilbur’s revival and the new character conflict that seems to arise from that for her – she manages to finally get the foot in and get the storyline and dynamic arc she deserves.

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dreamteamfanblog · 3 years

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Obligatory I haven't kept up with Season Three at all and everything I talk about is pre Tommy dying, pre Niki joining the syndicate, pre Red Banquet, pre Los Navadas, pre Wilbur Revival, and pre Tommy/Ranboo marriage. To the point where I don't actually know functionally anything about any of the events I just mentioned except that they are the names of things that have gone down that y'all may know about so you can figure out when I stopped watching and what the most recent events at the time were. Pretty much everything I bring up in any of my posts will be primarily based in season one or season two discourse/events and I cannot promise anything is accounted for past the season two finale.

SO ONTO THE ACTUAL POST.

Hey why is it that the Techno Apologists never latch onto any examples of L'manburg actually being fucked up?

Like, it's always whining about how Techno was Betrayed when Pogtopia did literally exactly what they had been openly planning to do since the beginning, or about how The Butcher Army was supposedly so Mean and Bad for trying to execute Techno, or about how....idk man, L'manburg being awful solely because they were involved in so much conflict?

Which I mean not only are all of these arguments very weirdly untrue.

They're also super hypocritical.

Like it's so consistently argued that Techno didn't betray Pogtopia since he made his intentions clear from the start, but that also debunks their point that Techno was betrayed on account of the fact that Pogtopia made their intentions clear from the start too. People cheered and loudly passionately agreed and supported Techno's "And those that treat me with injustice — that use me, that hunt me down, that hurt my friends — I shall repay that injustice a thousand times over!" thing and yet this adamant support of such brutal retribution during a conflict in which Techno himself had landed the first blow....actively contradicts the narrative that the Butcher Army are bad and evil and had no right to do what they did? I mean Techno literally canonically both hunted Quackity down and hurt his friends and the case that Techno was used at all is only about as strong as the case that he used the others so either both of em' were or neither were, and in either case, there's no leg to stand on when Techno apologists happily support Techno destroying an entire nation including the lives and homes of people who had nothing to do with The Butcher Army yet also scoff at the very idea that executing a war criminal for murder and terrorism against them could possibly be anything other than horrifically evil and corrupt! Not to mention that again, "L'manburg are filled with such Violent Troublemakers who cause so much Chaos and Conflict", is a really weird and hypocritical thing to claim when you're defending mister Blood For The Blood God over here who literally jumped in the second he heard the word Revolution because he was just that fucking ready to fight then canonically took the lives of multiple members of L'manburg and blew up their whole city while explicitly talking about his desire for Chaos in a "Dog Eat Dog World"????

Like not only is it pretty easy to argue all these points on a "that's like factually incorrect?" basis alone but even completely refusing to touch that angle, literally nothing L'manburg did that's brought up by Techno Apologists as a gotcha can stand as an actual argument in his favour because every single fucking bit of it is stuff that Techno himself holds as part of his Oh So Righteous Ideology and it really doesn't work to say "Retribution is bad, but Retribution For Retribution! THAT I can get behind!" or "Conflict is bad, except when the bloodshed is For The Blood God of course" or "Pogtopia still Used and Betrayed him even though they were upfront from the start and the alliance was a mutual agreement initiated by Techno actually but Techno didn't use or betray anyone, he was upfront from the start and the alliance was a mutual agreement, how could he have betrayed them?"

Which is actually Painful lately because THERE ARE ACTUAL POINTS YA'LL COULD BE MAKING THAT AREN'T COMPLETELY FALSE OR HYPOCRITICAL ACTUALLY!

I don't support c!Techno by any means, in large part because I don't think he believes what he says and even if he did he hurts the people in his attempts to 'help'. But i'd like to point out very easy arguments to make in favour of the ideology and stance many Techno apologists seem keen on arguing he has.

For example, what about the L'manburg election? Two of the parties committed voter fraud which actively put the liberty/freedom of the people at risk. There was literally One decent party who's entire reason for joining was literally "Hey that's really fucked up that you just tried to ensure your own governmental power through unfair means at the expense of the people's agency?" with a side point of "Also while we're at it maybe you shouldn't ban a whole group of people from your country entirely all because like Two people who happen to be part of that group hurt you, that's kinda messed up too" and then there was a fourth party who literally Opened their campaign by swinging at other people and manically declaring their power. In the end the guys who literally tried to rig the election and honestly should have been banned outright from running because of the blatant act of corruption still won popular vote and in a desperate attempt to mediate how Bad of a decision the people had made there the one halfway decent candidate pooled votes with the only dude who didn't commit voter fraud but then the people still suffered because the coalition was quickly completely overpowered by the more corrupt/violent party and literally no amount of attempts to make things better through begging him to listen or going behind his back to free people who'd been unfairly imprisoned or anything else along those lines could change the fact that "I'm the president here, not you~". This situation was really fucked up. Behind door number one we've got the Hamilton Cosplay Tyrants who keep talking about the Glory Days or the War Effort or whatever and won't let anyone who doesn't have a similar enough accent to them into the country. Door number two are the Baked Goods Tyrants who are using this election to promote their cookies and stick it to the candidates dad that he's cooler than him or whatever, they literally hack the voter count and are Known for dragging other people into petty conflict (and not like "fighting your oppressors is so unnecessary" anti-l'manburg bad take levels of supposed "petty conflict", i mean like, actual petty conflict, case in point the damn pet wars). Then with door number three there's the Alcoholism-Is-Cool Tyrant man who at least didn't fudge any votes but also has never not been drunk and literally hunted the other candidates for sport when he first showed up so I mean in what world is this guy a stable candidate for anything at all, much less for a position of authority over people as influential as president. Now, behind door number four, there's actually a...pretty decent option? The entire reason he joined to begin with is because he was absolutely enraged by the corrupt bs the others were pulling with their little "run a single party election" stunt. The other party's spread blatantly false quotes supposedly from him to make him look bad. The other parties go out of their way to burn down his builds. He's honestly relatively cordial in comparison but still hits hard during debates, mainly because he's got some points. "There's good in everyone", i've been told he'd insisted, trying his best to talk to one of the other candidates and get to know him only to be shut down entirely. There were three AWFUL candidates and one honestly good one. And yet the way the system was set up meant there was pretty much no chance of winning. Meant the people were screwed no matter what. The people trying to commit ballot fraud and slandering the competition were the ones who set the terms of the election, two complete randos who didn't bother signing up initially showed up drunk or trying to prove something to their dad and also just all around being Awful and they were still allowed to enter. Which all kinda fucked Quackity over, actually. And then he was forced to either let Wilbur have full control knowing how corrupt and manipulative he was or pool votes with the violent drunk and maybe swerve their shared administration into something good. The entire setup from the word go completely fucked over Quackity and that

completely fucked over the innocent people of L'manburg. And even going into their shared administration, Quackity was so powerless! Schlatt did horrible corrupt things to everyone and Quackity was there at every juncture trying his absolute best to mediate that. But there was so little he could do from his position that he had to resort to very non legal methods like breaking Niki out of jail behind Schlatt's back, standing in the blast radius while he tried to convince Schlatt not to go through with Tubbo's execution because they can't just take the shot with him standing in the line of fire trying to talk them out of it surely, and even eventually firing an arrow into Schlatt and being the only person to canonically have the guts to not only walk out of Manburg of their own free will openly spiting Schlatt, but the only person who had the guts to purposefully take a life from him as well. And. Well. THIS IS ALL A HUGE FUCKING ISSUE. There was no good reason someone corrupt had to win that election, there was even a decent candidate running! And genuinely for no other reason than because the alternatives were Really Fucked Up as well! Then the fact that Quackity, even as vice president, had so little say in anything that he wasn't even legally allowed to protect good people from wrongful imprisonment or stop Schlatt from tearing down priceless monuments that meant a LOT to people? That's so much worse. Corrupt people designing the system specifically to facilitate their corruption and lend an unreasonable amount of power to a select few people to the extent where the goddamn vice president, another member of the government, can't do anything legally to stop the president from doing horrific things. That's bad. That is actually really bad. And even beyond the bullshit of the election and how little Quackity could do about any of this despite literally doing everything he was supposed to and was legally capable of doing, there's the added layer of how little agency the people of L'manburg had in all of this! Schlatt's main political rivals were immediately exiled- and not even for the corruption scandal, literally just because they were Schlatt's political rivals- and he literally threw his dissenters in jail not to mention executing a kid and tearing down important history. I mean, he had an approval rate of Literally Nobody and was actively hurting/oppressing his people. And there seemed to be literally no impeachment process at all in place and when the people he was meant to lead unanimously took up arms against him THEY were criticized and labeled as villainous usurpers as the vague ideal of ~Legality~ was placed as more important than actual real life people. trying to live without a dictator hanging constantly over them! Schlatt's technical legal position is regularly cited as a mark against the Pogtopia revolution, because apparently Schlatt's right to sit upon a blood coated throne drinking his life away ruling a ghost town where nobody felt they could safely live was somehow more important than the rights of every single person who lived in and loved that nation to stay alive and feel secure in their own homes! In this case the government did fail. In this case corrupt people set up a corrupt system that boosted other corrupt people with no reasonable way for any single good politician to negate nor any way for the people themselves to change this. Not without going outside of the law and being deemed immoral for impeding on the rule of their rightful leader. This IS a situation in which the government systematically hurt and failed the people in ways that were near impossible to change or escape. THIS IS L'MANBURG HAVING A CORRUPT GOVERNMENT.

Look no further than mister Dreamwastaken for more examples of governmental corruption! I mean, sure, Dream never technically held an office, but his lack of title does nothing to change his position as the ruler of the Smp. Dream is the one who names and dethrones kings, Dream is the one who chooses which nations to legitimize and which to destroy, Dream is the decider of the laws of this land and he can add or remove them as he pleases down to exerting his permission to break even the most sacred laws of the server such as killing within the holy lands. It doesn't matter if Dream had a specific title, he was, by definition, Government. Government is "the governing body of a nation, state, or community", a governing body is the person/people with authority to conduct the policy, actions, and affairs of a state, organization, or people. Dream. Was. Government. Corrupt government! From the very beginning of the server exerting his supreme god given control over people who didn't want it! Lying, cheating, stealing, killing, forcing his will onto others, hurting the people constantly. Dream was an honest to god tyrant, even moreso than any other villain on the server had ever been! And if you look back at every other awful thing that happened in the series it links back almost without fail to him. To his control. I mean need I remind everyone that one of the primary reasons Schlatt wasn't forcefully overthrown sooner was because Dream was standing in support of his rule? Need I remind everyone that the entire reason L'manburg ever had to exist anyway was because unionizing and protesting and standing as a united front was the only way the people of the server could hope to escape Dream's unwanted and oppressive government? Dream stood behind the actions of damn near every terrible government official we ever saw as well with the one exception being maybe Badboyhalo. Dream was government and he was extremely corrupt. Like. BLATANTLY so.

And god, i'm still shocked by how little I saw Techno apologists talk about the fucking exile. I mean dear god. That was the accumulation of like Every shitty government problem in the whole server. I mean first off enter Dream being unreasonable and Awful again, obviously, I mean Tommy burned a few blocks, who cares, it was fixed in like five seconds and George didn't even care that much. But Dream used his position as, y'know, the governing body of the Smp, to blow it out of proportion and demand Tommy be unfairly and disproportionately punished. Not only did Dream's governing position enable him to do this, he took advantage of George's and Tommy's own positions as a means to twist the narrative in his favour. Dream blatantly exploited his government position, George's government position, Tommy's government position, and then worst of all Tubbo's. Quackity and Fundy desperately urged Tubbo not to go through with the exile, Ranboo swiftly snapped to Tommy's defense and called out that this whole thing was completely unfair, Tommy himself was completely dismayed and insisted this wasn't right. And it wasn't! Anyone could see that, this whole situation was a blatant abuse of government power in like ten different ways from Dream and the only thing to do was to shut him down! It would be a betrayal to everything they stood for, to their personal relationships, to the duty they had to protect innocent people, to general morality and basic principles, to go through with the exile, and the majority of people felt this very strongly. Wanted to protect Tommy and themselves from Dream's governmental abuse. But Tubbo did it anyway. This was the decision of two people and two people alone. Dreamwastaken and Tubbounderscore. But their opinions were the only ones that mattered, because they're the leaders. They're the heads of government. And if they spoke the command, to see that Tommyinnit were out of their territories where he would be tortured and abused for months? Then so be it. Then their word is law. Fundy and Quackity were struck with complete horror, they screamed, they pushed, they were in complete and utter disarray, and there was nothing they could do as long as Tubbo held to his decision because as we established back during Schlatt's reign, not even a good politician desperate for things to be better holds a candle to the decision of the president, and there's nothing that can be done, because he's president and they're not. Within much of the fandom Quackity and Fundy were criticized for "disrespecting" Tubbo's choice. Because what right did they have to speak out against the choice of the president? Tubbo was in charge, and it was their job to shut up and facilitate his decisions. That was an implication I saw often at the time. That because Tubbo was president, because of his title, his governmental position, his opinion was inherently more important and was absolutely not subject to scrutiny from those 'below' him. That the anger and hurt and fear of Quackity and Fundy, of real people, for their livelihoods and their safety and their friend, were less important than Tubbo's decision. This placement of Tubbo as 'above' the others and the implication that they are obligated to bite their tongues for the sake of 'respect' towards their president and his authority? It was complete and total bullshit. And I fully expected the Techno apologists to come out of the woodwork to affirm this! I fully expected to be able to agree with the Techno apologists for once, maybe not on every level, but at the very least on the level that this situation oozed governmental abuse from every pore and the idea that real people who felt hurt and scared and betrayed and angry because of Tubbo and Dream's little political nightmare were somehow out of line in their intense feelings because Tubbo's word is law and they need to show some respect to their government? I thought immediately that there was NO way in HELL this wouldn't be picked up immediately by the anti government Techno apologists!

But the thing is. It wasn't.

None of these were.

Techno apologists rarely acknowledge any of these actual examples of the government being really fucked up in favour of exhaustingly see through and hypocritical non examples to justify Techno's anti-government stance.

And, well, I highly suspect the reason for this is exactly the reason I can't support the perspective of c!Techno to begin with despite how I just went on my own rant about government corruption.

And that reason is because Techno, and by association the people who argue for his world view, don't actually care.

I mean, let me ask you a question. Just really, truly, honestly. In all of these examples of real honest to god government corruption issues from Wilbur to Schlatt to Dream.....who were the victims?

The people.

The people of L'manburg.

Tubbo, Niki, Fundy, Tommyinnit, Quackity. I mean they Kinda played parts in Some of these issues but usually under direst distress/manipulation from Wilbur or Schlatt or Dream.

The people who suffered, the people who's lives were effected, the people who were disproportionally hurt by all of the real governmental issues on the server are the people of L'manburg. The people who suffered under Schlatt's leadership, the child executed unfairly, the woman thrown in prison, the one politician who fought to make things right but was overpowered at every step, the people who lost their homes, the people who lost their friends, the other child exiled and abused for months for no good reason, the two who begged and pleaded and did everything to stop it only to be left powerless to protect him, even the young president himself cornered into this decision by fear and trauma and threats from somebody intent on exploiting the governmental dynamics to hurt people. Those are the fucking victims!

And nobody defending a Techno perspective can afford to acknowledge a situation in which the people of L'manburg are the victims!

It's a question nobody seems to know how to answer, really. The argument is made and even taken for granted as true that Techno things governments are corrupt and oppressive, he did what he did to protect the people this oppression would hurt. But who exactly are these people Techno protected? Where are these livelihoods defended? These lives saved? These homes maintained? These happy people Techno saved from the oppressive government?

The truth is that they're not real.

And the only people Techno ever managed to hurt were the victims he claims to be defending from the corruption of governments.

Now, the sources of corruption were Wilbur, Schlatt, Dream, and their policies. The way the elections were set up, the unfair power dynamic established by the corrupt first two presidents of the nation, and the control/abuse Dream exerted from his own governmental position. So naturally anybody who wants to actually tackle government corruption in the Smp needs to take care of them first and foremost. Get Wilbur and Schlatt out of power at least, get rid of Dream period, and then start reforming and limiting governmental controls. If not completely dismantling the government at least establishing things within L'manburg like actually effective checks and balances within the governmental body, setting up an impeachment process, putting harder vigilance onto what a president can or can't do, upheaving and adding more restrictions/rules/protections within the election system, etc. Outside of L'manburg would be trickier, however it likely wouldn't be too difficult to at least significantly alter/water-down the roles of Eret or George or whoever the king is at this point, again, if not entirely abolishing the role. The Badlands are a weird situation and honestly especially with the whole egg thing they'd for sure still be an Issue and a lot harder to reform but I mean to be fair their whole schtick is literally just being a corrupt government and trying to take as much land as possible and rule the world so what you wanna do there is use the same force you used with Wilbur, Schlatt, and Dream to disband The Badlands.

"Woah Woah Woah, you talk about that like it's so easy, that wouldn't be possib-"

yes it would be.

Schlatt died of alcohol poisoning before we could even touch him, Wilbur threw himself onto a sword with gusto, and Dream for all his bravado literally did not put up any fight once people got off their asses for two seconds to take care of him, okay? And again, The Badlands are a more worrying situation with The Egg and the amount of land they own and Sam's jurisdiction over the prison and all, but I mean from what i've heard via word of mouth pretty much everyone's canonically sick of their shit and are fairing pretty well thus far all things considered.

"Okay, fine, Beating People Up is easy enough, but what about the real work of government reforms?!? All these people are so Greedy and Powerhungry they'd neve-"

That's the whole thing, though, isn't it? They're NOT. Quackity spent literally the first two seasons at least as an active part of the government and he did fuck all for himself, he spent the whole time trying to stop Wilbur's corruption after finding out about his voter fraud or trying to stop Schlatt's corruption from hurting people or trying to stop Dream's corruption or trying to make sure his friends aren't abused/killed/jailed for no good reason or trying to keep their homes from being blown up again and the only reason he even got involved in politics at all was literally specifically because Wilbur was trying to run a one party election and SOMEONE had to put their foot down there, Quackity's always been very about Power To The People and preserving the rights/history of the people generally and has a history of stepping back into a less commanding role when he's secure in the knowledge that he doesn't Need to be taking charge or everyone might suffer/die/lose-their-homes-again. Tommy outright refused to be president when he was given the chance and has really consistently moreso cheered for the people he loves when they land in some sort of office rather than persuing leadership himself, and while he's been very willing to take up a leadership role when it's needed and people are in danger/in need of someone to step up and rally them, Tommy would really rather just listen to his music discs and spend time with his friends and pull a few relatively harmless pranks here and there and make big ugly (/lh/pos) cobble towers that he's so proud of anyway and doesn't seem to get why everyone else exasperatedly roll their eyes at them because he just thinks they're so neat! Tubbo is much the same, he took on a leadership position when it didn't seem there was any other choice but to do so but he's been content to play support for the most part other than that and really truly just wants to live a peaceful life with his bees and his best friend. Fundy and Niki actively chased the presidency at one point, of course, and I used their campaign as an example of corrupt bs as well, but honestly they were just dumb rebellious teens who didn't seem to get the weight of the election and just kinda like handed out pastries then lost miserably, so I mean, more than forgivable on their part, really, and for the large majority of L'manburg's history they followed in everyone else's pattern of stepping in when people need to be protected but otherwise just trying to live happy peaceful normal lives. This little group spent the large majority of their time in L'manburg just trying to defend themselves and their homes and each other from corruption and oppression so that maybe just maybe they could finally get to rest knowing that nobody's in any danger. If the danger went away, so would their need to step in. Quackity would go do some dumb (/lh/pos) bit where he puts on a ridiculous skin and sings even more ridiculous songs, Niki would be baking cookies and sharing them with her best buddy Fundy and anyone else who wanted to drop by, Tubbo and Tommy would be in a field somewhere watching the bees and listening to Mellohi while they giggle to themselves waiting for someone to find the big goofy posters they put up everywhere as a prank. That's who they were for the large majority of their arcs throughout L'manburg's existence. On the other side of things neither George nor Eret really care too deeply about the crown either. George only ever wanted a crown after he lost it, not because of the power, but because he was hurt by Dream's lack of regard for him. Eret on the other hand has a precedent of putting aside his crown for the wellbeing of other people and has long since resolved himself to be better than the person he used to be. None of them would be opposed to heavy reformation or even absolution of government powers. The entire reason L'manburg even exists is because of the fear and trauma and pain that came from the oppressive government force that is Dream and the people's desire to cling together for a chance at personal

freedom, with the threats gone they don't need to hold on quite so hard. These were never powerhungry monsters, these were victims of oppression and abuse and violence that spent their entire lives trying to defend themselves and their homes so they could just be happy and free.

These are the measures Techno SHOULD have taken! These are the people he SHOULD have been protecting! If he stands by his ideology that governments are oppressive and hurt people and if he truly did want to protect people from that oppression then why DIDN'T he?!?

Why didn't his morals and principals and desire to take down oppressors kick in during the festival when he was ordered by a tyrant to kill a child and did it instead of standing up and protecting the victims of tyranny?!? Why didn't he take Wilbur down when he realized how full of greed envy Wilbur was and that he planned to hurt people?!? Why did he, multiple times, work with Dream, the epitome of government oppression on the server?!? Why is it that the only people Techno consistently targets are the VICTIMS of the actual governmental oppression that Techno largely ignores?!?

And THAT is exactly why you don't see Techno apologists going on and on about how unfair the election was because of Wilbur or how the presidency in L'manburg was set up to where despite people trying desperately to push back Schlatt could not be opposed legally or how Dream is literally the most horrifically oppressive tyrant who is a prime example of how governments can be extremely corrupt. You never see Techno apologists going on about any of these ACTUAL issues because when you talk about Wilbur and Schlatt and Dream a bit too in detail a little bit of focus ends up on who exactly their victims were and there doesn't seem to be a good explanation regarding Techno's extreme actions only extending to victims of governmental abuse often in only minor roles of power if even that out of necessity to protect against the real oppressors. Why Techno's extreme actions frequently involved working alongside these actual oppressive forces against a group of people who literally want to be left alone and are only part of/live under a government like the one they do because they're in constant danger and this is the only way to maybe protect yourself and others against someone like Dream.

Tommy, Tubbo, Quackity, Fundy, and Niki shouldn't have been Techno's enemies. They shouldn't have been his targets! THEY hate oppressive government just as much as he does! They don't want anything to do with this bullshit anymore than he does! The side you see Techno Apologists claim he's on is literally THEIR SIDE. If he truly believes what he says and wants to fight tyranny then these are his allies! These are the victims he's so invested in looking out for! And yet these are the people he's slaughtering and bombing and aiding in the oppression of!

Techno apologism, by its very nature, requires you to see these citizens of L'manburg as oppressive. Requires you to see at least Tommy and Quackity as powergrabbing foolish tyrants who care more about the government then people. I heavily suspect this is the primary reason most Techno apologists aren't keen on looking at actual examples of this government corruption Techno talks so much about.

I mean, if you bring up the election in too much detail as an example, stressful little details like Wilbur's voter fraud and the fact that Quackity's entire motive for ever running for an office was to prevent government corruption. Which is a sticky scenario because Techno helps Wilbur in the end and seriously hurt Quackity in specific a Lot throughout this arc. Techno apologism relies a biiitttt too much at speeding by Wilbur real quick and hoping nobody points out that Wilbur wasn't motivated by a desire to get rid of governments but rather by a sense of envy and entitlement that if he can't have it noone can as well as relying on the ability to swiftly and decisively assert Quackity's motives as powergrabbing from the election onwards. Examining the corruption in the election itself throws that off. A Lot. When you have to look head on at Wilbur's corruption the fact that his "If I can't have it noone can" thing was a corrupt government official hurting the people out of envy and pride, and Wilbur's main source of contention being Quackity very quickly comes into focus as everyone suddenly remembers that hey, wasn't Quackity the only one who didn't commit fraud, and didn't he run in the first place to fight government corruption? And then Techno's role in all of this looks significantly odder and less in line with the claims that he's heroically opposing corruption. Furthermore examining the power dynamics of the tyranny within Schlatt's reign, you see a president with too much power enabled by Wilbur's shotty election system and Dream's vocal support, something outwardly opposed by the people beneath them; Tommy, Tubbo, Niki, Fundy, Quackity, who are all hurt by this abuse of government power more than anybody else is. Similarly the exile decision. Examining Dream as a tyrant is in of itself a sore spot on account of Techno's fairly frequent alliances with him. But even worse is what happens when you acknowledge the extent of Tubbo's power as president and the idea that his decision is inherently more important than the feeling of his people who he hurt, which is a good point towards the corruption of the government, but intensely highlights Fundy and Quackity's responses as valid or even correct, something that Techno apologists really can't do for obvious reasons.

Techno's perspective and actually defending it relies heavily on the villainization of victims and the understatement of real sources of corruption. It's a trade off, it seems. There are many points that can be made to form a very strong case against the government dynamics on the smp, something that would do wonders in strengthening the Techno Apologist claim that Government Bad, Anarchy Right, however this comes at the tradeoff of making it clear that the oppressive government forces come from people like Dream or Wilbur and not people like Quackity or Tommy who are the victims of said oppressive government, something that you REALLY cannot afford to imply if you're trying to argue that Techno was right and was working from a desire to prevent oppression when he worked with Dream and Wilbur to hurt Quackity and Tommy. I doubt this is intentional obviously because who the fuck takes a stance in discourse that they Know For A Fact Is False, lol, but if you believe Techno's right then you also have to believe the people of L'manburg are power hungry or tyrannical which means doing these mental gymnastics often without realizing it.

So we see these debates stick to examples like The Butcher Army, things that are significantly flimsier but also aren't liable to literally cripple their claim if examined too closely.

But the truth continues to be that Techno has irreparably hurt and traumatized the victims of the very kind of governmental abuse that it's so often claimed he's protecting people from. When he should have been fighting people like Dream, Wilbur, and Schlatt, and helping the people of L'manburg recover and reform their community, he instead attacked and destroyed and killed these people, often fighting alongside real tyrants in doing so.

I mean, hell, if Techno really was super against oppressive governments and wanted to fight/destroy them and help the victims? He and Quackity would be best friends. Quackity stood up against Wilbur's corruption at every turn and was the first person to do so, and if Techno actually fought corruption half as much as he claims to, he would have been right there with Quack rather than colluding with Wilbur to destroy innocent people's land. During the festival execution Quackity was trying his absolute best to put a stop to it and even stood in the blast radius while doing so, if Techno had cared half as much as he claims he does about tyranny then he wouldn't have taken the fucking shot, not with Quackity in the line of fire, not at Tubbo to begin with. Quackity realized that they needed to shake Dream off once and for all or they'd never truly be free from abuse of power from those above them, and if Techno really truly had a vested interest in freeing victims from governments that hurt them then he would have been right there at Quackity's side throughout season two. And yet not once, through the two seasons I watched of screentime with them, not once was there a moment in which they were working towards the same thing. At the festival, Techno had the chance to run or refuse or realign his shot to take out Schlatt instead and very likely would have made it out alright, meanwhile Quackity was actively putting his life at risk by standing where he was and making the attempts he was to make Schlatt see reason even though Quackity was pretty much unarmed, had a rocket pointed near him, and his entire life was in L'manburg, it was Quackity who had more to lose and Techno who had the chance to run, and yet it was Quackity alone who stood against the orders of a tyrant and voiced that this shouldn't be happening, and it was Techno who took not only Quackity's life but the life of a child as well when he took the shot anyway. As soon as he'd joined Pogtopia, Quackity was opposing Wilbur, standing besides Tommy in the button room and putting his own life on the line as well while they tried desperately to convince Wilbur not to ruin innocent people's lives, and yet Techno not only never put himself at risk to stop Wilbur, he actively collaborated with Wilbur, with a corrupt politician, as he planned to selfishly steal the happiness of the people just because he lost his own power. That's not even to speak of Doomsday, in which Techno, with actual corrupt politicians all around him, aimed weapons of mass destruction towards their victims, towards Quackity and everyone he loved. And of course, Techno wasn't there to help fight Dream, the L'manburg cabinet even suspected he may help, he's meant to be against tyranny after all, but of course, Techno wasn't there, and in fact allied himself with Dream yet again throughout the season. If Techno ACTUALLY followed through with his supposed principals, the people of L'manburg would have loved him, especially Quackity, who is very much similar to what Techno claims to be (someone who's fierce in his defense against corruption and who will fight almost without fail for victims of oppression and against harmful systems even if he's not always particularly palatable and nice and malleable in his regard towards tyrants), and the fact that they specifically have been played against each other at literally every single turn to the point where Techno, after having associated himself with helping fuckers like Schlatt, Wilbur, or Dream for so long, joined them on Quackity's list of people who've treated him with injustice, hunted him down, hurt his friends, and needs to be repaid- oh huh sounds familiar. Like Quackity is in a lot of ways what Techno would be if his ideology actually lined up with the heroic freedom fighter against tyranny ideology that's subscribed to him way too often despite the fact that he's either so weirdly out of touch he completely misread ALL the dynamics on this server or he genuinely honest to god doesn't actually believe in or care about his whole I Fight The

Immorality Of Government Corruption thing.

Hell, beyond literally Quackity actually, just look to Puffy for the actually honest and good aligned alternatives for people who say they want to fiercely fight against corruption and actually do it.

Idk man, it's just weird to me. I didn't even plan the ending of this post like at all, the premise was just supposed to be pointing out the actual government corruption and asking why Techno Apologists weren't on that but then the whole 'okay but if you pay attention to all that then techno's literally been targeting the victims of the corruption he claims to hate instead of helping them fight it' realization hit and I was like, Yep, His Whole Anti Government Ideology Still Doesn't Check Out.

#dream smp #dream smp discourse

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demenior · 3 years

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Dem’s Big Post About The Spn Fics Part 1/2

aka The Wrap Up to celebrate To Exist Again and To Become a Man now being finished!

(This will be a long post. This is your only warning.)

Admittedly this is a bit of a weird thing to be doing, but I wanted to try it out for 3 reasons:

I love talking about my own work and

It functions really well as a self-reflective tool for me to improve on, and

I can answer some big questions people might have because there was a LOT of worldbuilding in these stories.

We’ll start off with reflective stuff, and move into the juicier world-building focused stuff later into the post. There will be major spoilers for both fics to come!

To begin with a funny anecdote, Why Did I Write These Stories?

I was beginning to write and work out the story that I wanted to write for Spn (what will now be To Destroy a Man. As I was writing the scene, I realized I had a LOT of ideas and while I was trying to avoid as much exposition as I could, it became quickly apparent that I was needing to create my own au (this scene eventually became chapter 34 of To Become a Man). A short prequel seemed like a good idea, to quickly hash out the ‘prior’ events that I needed to go through so all the readers could be on the same page. While plotting out prequel points, I realized Sam and Dean were going to have drastically different experiences during the same time period, and I was trying to figure out who’s pov would be better for which scenes, and how to keep momentum when they’re going through such radically different types of changes. Ultimately I decided to split their povs, which I also thought would be a fun project! And I naively assumed each pov would take about 2 chapters each, rounding out to maybe 15k total.

I had my ending points: Dean n Cas soul-merged and (basically) married, Cas on the lam from heaven and a complete anomaly, and Sam juiced up full of powers and a weird mix of archangel and antichrist but still 100% human and ready to fight God.

Now I needed to add weight to these changes, so I wrote 200k of build-up.

Am I proud of these fics?

OF COURSE I AM!!! These are the longest fics I’ve ever written AND finished AND in the fastest freakin turnaround ever (both were finished writing, barring edits, in like 6 months holy shit)

I didn’t write a single scene that I “didn’t” want to write. If I had trouble writing it, as in it was fighting me, I scrapped it. Most obviously was the scene in Dean’s pov where he and Sam were intended to meet some other hunters and Dean declines working with them because he’s nervous about being outed as queer. It was meant to be a good scene! I wanted to introduce some new characters! But it just wasn’t working so I said ‘thank you, next!’.

But it means this story was an absolute joy to write. Because for a while all I was doing was ‘if I wanted to write one scene into supernatural, what would I write?’ and then just DID that!! It’s why there’s a lot of ‘Salmondean do dumb shit or have really dumb heartfelt conversations’ scenes.

Would I change anything?

If I’d been less eager to start sharing, I might have planned out the story beats a little tighter so there were less ‘soft’ chapters and a draw/pull for people to come back and keep reading. I felt Dean’s story specifically lagged at points and could have used some tighter editing (there was a noticeable lull in directed movement between Dean n Cas getting together, until Sam corrupts Amy).

I also probably would have held Sam’s story until I’d finished Dean’s so I could make the two line up better! Probably could have inserted more scenes into Sam’s fic that way, and made sure things were a little more consistent. In an ideal world one concept I had was to release 1 chapter from each pov every week that would correspond to the same time frame so we’d be getting real-time SalmonDean pov narrative. Unfortunately that didn’t work!

The biggest takeaway overall is for me to focus more on what moves the plot, and to make my scenes do more than 1 thing so I can cut down on wordcount and increase my efficiency.

Of course every writer will find things they want to fix in anything they’ve ever written, so these are minor “mistakes” at best. I’m so dang proud of these fics.

Onto more interesting things!

How Did I Put These Fics Together (because it’s different than anything I’ve ever done before)

Normally when I write a story, I plan out the beats I need to hit, see where I need to insert any kind of foreshadowing/buildup, and then write from A to B to C and so on and so forth. Hence, this is why I can normally post things as I complete chapters, because it’s all a linear progression.

For these two stories, rather than linear plot/a normal story structure, I just sat and free-wrote any and every scene that came to mind and then pieced them into a kinda-linear form like putting a quilt together. You’ll note that this is why there’s not a lot of internal callback or a feeling of sense of time flowing within the fic (save for points where I went back and specifically edited it in). How long does the story take place over? Hard to say! Your author has the barest grasp on linear time even on a good day (how many times did I say ‘see you on [wrong day]’ at the end of chapters lmaaoooo)

This also meant EXTENSIVE editing on the back end once I decided in what order I wanted my ‘quilt pieces’ to be. Hard to say if this is a bonus or a negative!

But I did want to try and capture the vibe of the lives they lead, as a bit of a ‘slice of life’-style story, when the slice of life is the profound weirdness of the Winchester roaming life, and how things are status quo- until everyone almost dies oh shit!! And then they have to keep living because no therapy we die/undie like Winchesters. Do I think I captured this effectively? Hmm. Good question.

Dem where the FUCK did the inspiration for a lot of the magic and creature weirdness even come from?

Honestly? Music, primarily. And completely mishearing lyrics!

Nightwish ‘Ever Dream’: the line is ‘my song can but borrow you grace’ and because my brain is scrambled eggs on a good day, I heard ‘grace’ ‘song’ and ‘borrow’ in that order and have had, for YEARS, the mental image of Cas borrowing Dean’s soul to power himself up for battle.

From there I’ve always been enamored with the ‘wavelength of celestial intent’ descriptor that Cas drops in s6 for “what he is”.

I also really like ocean metaphors mostly because I’ve been obsessed with the ocean and things in it since I was like… 5??? So really this was me just rolling with what I know lmao. I love using (somewhat) accurate scientific metaphors for very intangible things!

I was also finishing my degree in biology/ecology while writing these fics and I think it shows

Stars ‘The Night Starts Here’ gives us the series title and the fic titles. Except for ‘To Exist Again’. TEA was almost titled ‘The Upwards Fall’ because I wanted all 3 of the Main Stories to have titles from this song, but I couldn’t make anything else work in tandem with the series name ‘The Love It Takes’ while also working for Sam’s personal story. So Sam, as always, is the rebel <3

Stars ‘Up In Our Bedroom, After The War’ is basically the vibes of the whole story. TFW has been, literally, to hell and back!!! There’s a bit of melancholy and sadness, a lingering dark, but the chance of a bright new tomorrow and a soft start.

Let’s Talk About Themes in The Story! What were you looking to accomplish?

My earliest notes for TFW are, as follows:

Dean’s journey of self-discovery (who am I when I’m not trying to be Dad?)

Dean wants to settle down! He wants a big family! He wants to be domestic!

Basically: Dean doesn’t want to have a short life of hunting. He wants to live!

Dean’s journey of realizing he’s bi, and him accepting that

Dean’s relationship to Sam is both older brother/parent

And continuing Dean balancing these roles while also letting Sam be an adult

Dean’s Big Issues/Fears about never being good enough for people to want to stay with him (these are effectively highlighted in that Cas thinks he’s not useful enough to be wanted)

Sub Plot:

Castiel’s autonomy

Cas’ fall from grace, to trying to restore Heaven, to wrecking it further

He’s majorly depressed by the end of s7 (before purgatory)

Wants to stay in Purgatory but doesn’t tell Dean

Remains depressed after leaving, but resolved to keep living on because he’s clearly meant for something

After the seraphim reveal: does he have free will?! How does he grapple with this? How does he live in a way he can be proud of?

And lastly

Sam gets his powers back CAUSE THATS HOT

where tf did they go????

he got them from Lucifer?????

sleeper agent??????

Sam is The Chosen One

Accepts that he is More Than Human and to celebrate all parts of him

Lucifer and Sam friends?? Work together????

Sam needs autonomy in his choices/his life

If you compare these to the overall arc of TFW within the two stories, I think I got a lot of them! But you’ll also note a lot of these things aren’t concrete goals that are easily measurable (ex: Dean wants to learn to bake pie. In chapter 1 he starts a fire in the kitchen. By the end of the story he finally makes A Good Pie.) part of the lack of concrete milestones was why I felt it was important to tell Dean (and Cas’) story by going back to the point they meet, in s4! Dean’s gradual change towards his feelings for Cas, his relationship to Sam (heavily influenced by the s7 events of this fic) and then his own relationship with himself were such slow burns that I felt it would be a disservice to try and cram a change like that into a timeline like “1 year”.

I felt like these subtle changes and adjustments actually felt a lot truer to life-- people often change in very small, gradual ways over time, even without realizing it and often times not consistently! If only we could all gain skills like the sims, where we can easily level up and remain at that high level of performance!

So the Guy Who Ate Satan, A Celestial Nuke that Developed Sentience, and Dean walk into a bar…

Sam’s story in Spn The Show has always been a ‘chosen one’ kind of narrative. Sam is living with one foot in the realm of the monsters, and I wanted to bring that back full force! It really makes sense for him that he should only continue to grow in power, might, and magic!! As the story progresses.

Cas also got a power up! I do desperately love in the show that he was kind of a grunt/nothing angel, and so even when he defected to TFW he was a huge help for them, but in the scale of things he was an annoying fly to most other angels. It really worked for the underdog story of s4/5. In this I wanted to give him a power up, and originally it was actually going to be close contact with Sam that eventually changed Cas into something unknown (you can still see traces of this in ch34 of TBAM, where Death remarks ‘Castiel could be [Sam’s] first creation’. But for a combo of reasons: how Sam’s magic needed to have intent, the entire concept of free will and consent, and how much I wanted Dean and Cas to have their effect on each other, I decided to go with the route that Cas has actually always been something angel-adjacent rather than becoming something new. TFW/Supernatural has always been about free will and making your own story, so I amplified that with Cas.

Dean has always been A Normal Guy, which is part of the appeal of him and Sam (2 normal dudes!) taking on the Very Not Normal. As explained above, Sam’s story is ‘normal guy finds out he’s the chosen one’ and so, in a story about very large concepts and huge monsters and acts of magic, I felt it was very important to keep Dean as normal as possible. To the point it became a running gag to me, personally, in that ‘no matter what cool shit happens around him, Dean has to stay as Just A Guy’. And it’s a very humanizing role that allows the story to have the scale it does!

What were the most important themes in your story?

Sam’s Autonomy

I wasn’t even going to include the plot about Lucifer’s death in this story— that was going to come up in a later story, actually! And rather than Sam having ate Lucifer, the original idea was that they’d become a SamandLucifer entity (this harkens back to a concept I wanted to write when Swan Song first aired).

That storyline would have involved a lot of mental ‘Sam and Lucifer discuss what it means to live, which one of them is more worthy of life and if they do deserve to destroy the world for the pain they’ve been forced to go through, just to create the dichotomy of good and evil for everyone else’ discussions. There would be a lot of talk about how Sam hates and fears Lucifer for the pain Lucifer put on Sam, how Lucifer hates Sam because he and Sam are the same but Sam’s brother loves him anyways, etc.

Ultimately that was scrapped because Sam’s entire story in the show is always about how the world and everyone around him manipulates him and that he never actually gets to make choices about his own life or body that aren’t influenced or part of someone elses’ design. And that always bothered me that Sam was never allowed to be himself without having to be ashamed of it, and I wanted to make sure that Sam’s triumph of being proud of himself/proudly choosing to exist (again) was evident in his story

In the end I needed Sam to have this visceral win over his tormentor. As the story shows, in this case Lucifer was abused and put into a position where he was incapable of empathy and could only express himself in violence. Sam even understands this! But it doesn’t change the fact that Lucifer tortured Sam in unimaginable ways for thousands of years.

With that in mind I didn’t like the idea of Lucifer and Sam having “co-ownership” of their new identity, so I made the choice that Sam had to be the survivor. This tied in well with Sam’s new crusade to restore free will to the universe, because he’s breaking the narrative of his own story!

While Castiel wasn’t a pov character, his own autonomy and free will was equally as important. You’ll note that many, many paragraphs and conversations revolved around that theme and that in the end Cas followed himself (and love!) which ensured his freedom of self <3

The Brothers are WEIRD PEOPLE!!!! And Codependent to a Worrying Degree, but It’s Also How They Survive

It’s very hard to show “unusual” relationships when you’re writing from the pov of the two people who don’t think there’s anything weird about their relationship. Sure, they say ‘yeah it’s probably weird that we still share a bed’ but that’s kinda more in line with ‘I had a nightmare and I want to be close to the person who makes me feel safe’. Hashtag normalize co-sleeping when you need it!!!

From there I did try to point out how the boys have a weird perception of lifestyle in the little things they did.

From thrifting everything from clothes to appliances to books (thrifting is a valid lifestyle! It’s incredibly handy when you’re on a budget.)

To never actually having condiments or knowing how to use a dishwasher cause they’ve lived in a car, a motel room, or squatted in old houses their whole life.

I tried to have them wear each others’ clothes or casually swap things as much as possible. They live out of each others’ pockets!

Also the brothers are just weird people!! It’s hard to show from their pov, cause they don’t know how far off from normal they are, but like…

Everything about Sam and Amelia was NOT right like holy shit those two were wilding in their grief. They are very lucky things worked out for them and that they got to be hashtag Weird Girls together

Dean explicitly, in the story, gets horny after killing stuff!! Violence has done a number on his psyche and he’s gotten some wires crossed that maybe shouldn’t have been, or maybe could be worked out in a safe space but… uh… how likely do we think Dean is gonna go find a safe space to deal with any of his shit???

LOVE!!! Love is truly what this whole story is all about

If you’ve read the stories, you know how much emphasis I put on love. Love is the strongest force in the Spn Universe! It’s what averted the apocalypse and saved the world (Swan Song), it’s what created free will (Cas’ entire arc!) I love love!!!!

I went out of my way to not put any definitions on platonic love vs romantic love because I think love is love is love and how you express that is the difference. Neither is more powerful than the other because LOVE is powerful!! Sam and Cas are the most important people in Dean’s life and he loves them equally! He shows this by giving Cas kisses and stealing Sam’s socks.

It’s a personal pet peeve of mine when I have to hear explanations like ‘I love you, like a brother’ or ‘I love you, but like, as a friend because I’m a lesbian and you’re a man’ etc etc in media. If you have to continuously define how your characters love each other, then I don’t think you’re doing a good job of portraying their relationship. So you’ll see that I never put those parameters in any conversation. Dean DOES muse that he loves Cas differently than he loves Sam or Bobby, specifically because there is a romantic and sexual tone that his feelings for Cas takes, but not because he loves Cas more or less than he loves Sam or Bobby.

Which means, if you haven’t realized it yet, the Series + Fic Titles are meant to be a complete sentence because the power of love IS the thesis of this series:

The Love It Takes To Exist Again (Sam’s journey!)

The Love It Takes To Become a Man (Dean’s journey!)

The Love It Takes To Destroy a Man (TBA)

And now for fun stuff. Behind the scenes!!

What’s Something People Probably Don’t Know?

The demonic fungal/hydrothermal vent growth on Sam’s arm was thrown in literally as I was posting the chapter because I had just finished a 48 hour cram session of writing a report on tube worms for an ecology class (I was chanting my tube worm song as I wrote it) and it ended up being a HUGE hit with both readers and myself. But it was so last minute I had trouble fitting it in more throughout the rest of Sam’s story!

Cas’ orders? That may or may not have bound him to Dean and removed his free will? Were written into Sam’s story and I went ‘oh SHIT that’s compelling’ and then left them there as a ‘guess I’ll figure that out when I get to Dean’s story lol’

Originally Dean and Cas were supposed to get together after having their souls bonded, and have been in a UST limbo the entire time before that. Mostly because I think the entire concept of ‘we just got married of the soul I guess we should try dating?’ is very funny. CLEARLY the two of them were way more eager to fall in love than I anticipated (thank you Cas for your honesty) but you can still see shades of this original idea here and there (especially in ch35 of TBAM)

I never intended Dean and Benny to connect so well!! Benny was going to reunite with Andrea, she was going to live, and they were going to go off into the world and leave the story. And, uh, here we are. I’m still debating if I need to adjust the relationship tag or not haha. Polyamory is fun, especially when I was planning for Sam to be the polyamorous brother...

Speaking of, I can’t believe I forgot about Sam and his sexuality! If I rewrote TEA I would have had Sam contemplate more on his lack of sexual appetite due to trauma, up until he meets Benny and he gets to rediscover how he wants to be a sexual person

Many of Sam and Dean’s absolutely stupid sibling conversations were lifted near-verbatim from conversations I’ve had with my siblings

And lastly...

Dem where’s Kevin????????????? Where is our sweet baby boy????????

He’s SAFE!! He’s in the Hunter pipeline somewhere cause Sam handed him off to Bobby’s people. He and his mom are safe and at some point they probably got rib sigils like SalmonDean did against angels, but for demons. I didn’t have room in this story for him!!! But my baby boy is SAFE and I want to get him back to university because it’s WHAT HE DESERVES!!!!

To that point: god there were/are SO many characters that I just didn’t include in the story so far because I didn’t feel comfortable including them without stalling the story for them. To that point: pretty much everyone who is alive/dead in s8 is that way in this story, except Bobby who gets to live.

[Check Out Part 2 for reader questions!]

#the love it takes series #to exist again fic #to become a man fic #dem speaks

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bestworstcase · 3 years

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i feel like a lot of people just won't give cassandra agency in what happens to her in their content. and i like the ending of the show because cassandra can go where she wants, and also it's a bit of an acknowledgement that the way corona treated her wasn't good enough. and that hypothetically if, in the future, someone else with the same grief as cassandra lived in corona, they wouldn't be treated much better than she was. i wish they could've done more to show corona actually changing for the better

mhm i’d agree. and i can’t even really hold that against the fans because. it’s not like tts gave cassandra any agency either. & like -

ok bitter snow talk real quick. two things that are very important to me with bitter snow and my tts fanfic in general is 1. i want cassandra to have agency in her own story arc and 2. i want zhan tiri to have some complexity and depth of character. and what i’m finding both with bitter snow and with the outlining i’m doing for BISA rn is that it’s very easy to have those two things together but it’s really hard to have those two things together and keep rapunzel in the spotlight; and this is not a problem for me because i feel like rapunzel makes for a more interesting major supporting character than a protagonist anyway, but i think for a lot of folks who are writing cass-centric fic that isn’t the case and they want rapunzel to have a starring role! and certainly in cassunzel fic specifically rapunzel is of course going to be a protagonist or a deuteragonist.

taking zhan tiri out of the equation or just using her as a canon-esque villain with little depth makes it easier of course, but even like - unless we are like fully and completely stepping outside of canon into total AU territory, where anything goes - any time you’re working within the approximate boundaries of canon-adjacent there is, i think, this tension between giving cassandra agency in the narrative and keeping rapunzel in focus at its center. mostly this is because cassandra’s lack of agency in s1-s2 is the keystone of her entire character arc and any time you start messing with something that fundamental to the story it’s fucking hard. and then on top of that with rapunzel being a princess and cassandra being her servant and beholden to her at all times there is a certain amount of cassandra’s lack of agency just being baked in.

using bitter snow as an example, cassandra has much more agency as a character in benighted than she does in tts s1 - but she gains that agency by leaving rapunzel behind. and now of course in moonless air things between her and rapunzel are so complicated and fractious because a lot of the things cassandra did in benighted to just be somewhat in control of her own life legitimately did harm rapunzel, directly or indirectly, and not just in the sense of hurting rapunzel’s feelings. benighted was hideously traumatic for rapunzel and cassandra’s decisions played a significant role in causing that! but at the same time the decisions cassandra made were the ones she needed to make for herself, because to do otherwise would be unbearable. their needs are kind of. diametrically opposed

& like obv bitter snow is, on account of being a saporian!cass au, more extreme in this regard than the average tts fic or premise would naturally be, because your typical canon-adjacent cassandra does not have that intense need to escape corona in s1, nor does she have the clear shot to radicalization against corona that bitter snow cass has. but the general shape of the dynamic still applies: in order to have agency, cassandra must leave corona and unless rapunzel sheds her power over cassandra’s life and comes with her? that means cassandra having agency demands separation from rapunzel. but in a cass-centric fic giving cass that separation from rapunzel means like - does the narrative just leave rapunzel behind? do we do a split pov where there’s long long long sections of the story where these characters don’t interact and it’s essentially two separate narratives running in parallel, maybe with letters back and forth? and if this is a fic where cassunzel is the endgame you then need to also navigate cass coming back, and how to reintegrate her narrative with rapunzel’s, and that’s hard to do too.

so it’s like - intrinsically, i think the way these characters are set up in relation to each other in canon makes it structurally very difficult to have a fic where cassandra has real agency in the narrative and rapunzel is still a protag/deuteragonist, and if the fic is cassunzel that’s hard mode because you need to figure out this balance while also developing the romance between these characters!

it’s a lot easier to just kinda... ignore all this in favor of either making rapunzel better in her treatment of cass or making cass more comfortable in her canon-adjacent relationship with rapunzel, or both, which is the route a lot of cassunzel fics take. and jksdf like again that’s fine because at the end of the day fanfic is about entertainment and fic writers are out to have fun and - i think i am in the minority of fic writers in that i enjoy finagling with this sort of thing and like mucking around with the nuts and bolts of breaking someone else’s story down to tell that story again but differently and more tuned to my personal taste.

#though i will also say there is a contingent of cass fans #whose reading of her is just - i do NOT understand it at ALL #and both the meta and the fic coming out of that contingent is pretty wild #sometimes i read it just for the thrill of going OMG WHAT #and yknow honestly i hope they have the same reaction to me #Anonymous

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halzore · 3 years

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Cody + 16??

Snippets of Time

Characters: Cody x Reader

Note: Thankyou nonny for this request, I was having a little bit of trouble of how to encapsulate the kinda vibe i wanted to go for, not sure if it landed. But i decided to do a few snippets of a little friendship with our lovely commander and a reader throughout the Clone Wars. Let me know what you think! I love when people do that! Also, fair warning, kinda gets a bit sad, but thats chill.

Prompt 16: “That you will be by my side to see me through” ~ You and I, Jacob Collier

A little bit about this song: This is some classic Jacob Collier arranging, very spooky, also uplifting and got them good jazz chords. Listen to it here

Tags: @a-lil-perspective @thegoodbatch @leias-left-hair-bun

Introductions

Cody had met Obi-wan proceeding the battle of Geonosis, easily getting along, Obi-wan’s cool quick wit complimenting Cody’s serious but loyal nature. Obi-wan and Cody got along well, but the Marshall Commander had a softer spot for his own Jedi Commander.

He remembered the time that Obi-wan had brought you with him for the first time, a strong senior Padawan, who had already lost one master, but still seemed jovial and effervescent. He watched with skepticism as you gazed at the vastness of the the hangar bay of the Negotiator, looking around as if you had never been outside the temple. Obi-wan was quick and cool, but you seemed different, somewhat of a mystery to the Clone.

In the beginning, Cody stayed out of your way. After all what would a Jedi want with the likes of him. Plus he had a quarter of an army to run, but your paths crossed every now and then, each time more of the mystery of your character unfogging.

The light of the holo-table cast a blue hue over your stern features. Cody could see the stern lines deepen as the council outlined the battle strategy. Cody did not much like it, the plan was too risky, but he let it go. This was not his time to speak. Master Mundi finished speaking, opening the up the floor for questions. There was a slight pause as the heads, both real and holographic panned around the room. You took the slightest step forward.

“This plan, while it would achieve our goal is irresponsible” You voice was matter-of-fact, leaving no room for doubt.

“Is that so?” Master Windu turned to you, dissatisfaction clear. “And why would that be?”

“Too many lives lost, lives we have a duty to protect.” You put it simply

“But the civilians would be saf—“

“Clone lives” you clarified.

The silence spreading throughout the briefing room was deafening. Obi-Wan took a deep breath and pinched his nose, the council members looked at each other in irritation, their nonchalance being called out. Cody smiled inwardly. A Jedi commander who would go to bat for his boys. Maybe you were something he could get behind.

Medical Mischief

He was beaten, he was bruised. Yet he limped with resolve to the one place he could hurt in comfort: His quarters. One foot in front of the other, the commander’s attempt to look uninjured was laughable. He heard giggling from behind him and the Marshall Commander turned back to see you, hand over mouth, trying to cover you snickering. Cody groaned.

“What’re you laughing at?”

You tried to regain your composure. “You.”

“No shit.” Cody was not impressed, bothered at the interuption to his escape plans.

“You see the boys had mentioned something,” You began to stroll over casually, mischief in your eye. “You know, I didn’t believe them when they told me, I always thought you were such a good example for your men.” You had Cody’s undivided attention now, “They said you hated the medbay, never go when you’re supposed to. And I thought to myself, ‘Hmmm not on my watch.’”

Cody hadn’t noticed that you had slipped an arm around his and had began to shepherd him in the direction of his favourite place on the ship.

“Hey, stop! Let go!” He tried to wriggle out of your grip, but you ploughed on, resolute in your gait, easily overcoming the poor limping man.

“No can do Commander, you have an image to uphold.”

Interlude

Time went on, the war continued to wage in the furthest corners of the galaxy and you and Cody found your rhythm. You became an inseparable team on and off the battlefield. Both leading from the front, you managed to get the 501st through some of the most risky of assaults.

You balanced each other out.

You learnt a lot from Cody over the years. How to punch a droid sucessfully, how to patch up a bruise after you had punched a droid. He showed you how to be a good leader and helped you grow in your confidence as a Commander. But you, in turn, showed him things.

He always made sure that you were okay after a campaign, and so you developed a little ritual. You taught Cody how to meditate. You would bring him into your quarters and practice your deep breathing together, centring yourself in the moment. It became a staple in both of your routines and it was the way you both aired out your grievances and let them go to the universe.

You grew close, everyone could see it.

You were like family to Cody, and maker help the galaxy if anything ever happened to you.

Knighting

He wasn’t allowed to go to the ceremony. It was for Jedi only. You had been so nervous leading up to your trials. He knew you could do it, and he was not surprised in the slightest when you came bounding into his quarters, barreling him over in a bear hug, screaming that you’d passed.

But he couldn’t go to the ceremony.

He sat staring at his boring grey walls, wondering what was going on. Was Obi-Wan there? What were you thinking about right now? What things happened in a Jedi Knighting ceremony? His contemplation on these questions was half-baked at best, his mind wandering to the future.

The war was at a critical point, the senate’s order for new clones was ready, Cody knew they needed more Jedi Generals, and none came with better credentials than you. You would be a credit to any battalion, they would be lucky troopers. But they were not Cody’s troopers.

He didn’t hear his door open.

“Cody?” Your face cast in shadow as you were outlined by the glow of the ship light. You voiced pulled Cody from his questionings.

“Hmm?” He looked up. “Ah, how did it go?”

“Good,” You walked into his room and sat down next to him on his bed. “I have something to say to you.”

“I know.”

“I’m gonna miss you.” The emotion cracking the edges of your voice. Cody wrapped an arm around you. “You’ll never be too far away.” Cody managed to give you a bit of a half-smile. You sat there together taking in each other’s presence for what you knew would be for the last time for a long time.

“I have something for you.” You broke the silence by reaching back around to grab at something. It was a small wooden box. You shoved it at the Marshall Commander and he opened it.

“Your padawan braid?” Cody looked at you, a mixture of confusion and awe.

“Something to remember me by, you’ll always have a little piece of me with you no matter how many light years apart we are.”

Cody smiled, and pulled you into a hug.

Aftermath.

You couldn’t remember the name of the planet you were on when you felt it. It was like all the energy in your body being forcibly pushed out of you. Your ears rang with the screams and it was almost as if the ground began to lilt under you feet.

Something was wrong, but you didn’t know what.

You hadn’t clued to the first signs, comms going unanswered, whispers around the native colonies. It was when you saw the Holonet report of the Jedi betraying the Republic when you knew you were in trouble.

At first it wasn’t so bad, you kept a low profile and no one really bothered you, you looked like any other traveller passing through. But then the troopers started to show up, but not in the armour you were used to. Similar enough to go unnoticed by most people, but strange enough to send your survival instincts into overdrive.

But it wasn’t safe.

Especially on the day you saw your picture, a smiling Jedi Knight, plastered on the wall of an unassuming business, labelling you as a traitor and offering a reward.

That’s when you began your new life, with a new appearance, a new name, never staying in one place for more than a few weeks. It was tiring, but it was what needed to be done.

….

You had been watching the holo waves weeks now. Imperial propaganda rife. Disgust had made its home in the back of your throat as you looked upon the force fed narratives on the web. But everyday you checked it religiously, looking for information about what happened at the end of the clone wars, why you were being hunted down.

Talk of a legendary clone wars commander coming to your planet to recruit piqued you interest.

It was dangerous, if it was the man you thought it would be, if the empire found out you were there. But you had to go.

You kept your distance from him. But you knew, without a doubt it was him, his scar, his gait. But the warmth was gone from his eyes. You tailed him, following him away from the carnival and back to his room before you confronted him.

“Cody.”

His shoulders stiffened. He slowly turned around to see who was in the door.

“CC-2224 now” His voice was proper, like when he gave an order. You brow furrowed in confusion, you didn’t quite know what has happening.

“Cody, what’s happening?” You were desperate and confused, in front of the one person who could help you make send of the mess. You moved to hug him around the middle as you dissolved into tears.

You didn’t register it in time.

The hard barrel of Cody’s pistol pressing into you side. You felt the heat of the blaster bolt and looked up at your Best friend, your brother, with pathetically wide eyes.

“I’m sorry Y/N, but good soldiers follow orders.” There was no remorse in his voice, almost the slightest hint of pleasure.

It was the last thing you heard, before your vision frayed, the pounding in your ears became too much and your world faded to black.

#commander cody #cody x reader #tcw #the clone wars #clone wars imagines #halzore writes #and also answers #Crazy wolrd #commander cody x reader #commander cody x you #this is my first time writing for codes #i love him to bits #but I d K if I nailed this one #My brain is a choppy mess #going at 150000 miles an hour

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klysanderelias · 3 years

Text

got a dropout.tv free trial just to watch misfits and magic, it fucking rules. Dunno if it's a switch away from dnd that makes it better, or if it was the specific cast members involved that I enjoyed more, but it really was enjoyable and well paced

just gonna grump for a bit under the cut about dnd podcasts

tried to watch a couple of other dimension 20 seasons again and I just slide off of it man, there's something about like an hour and a half of dnd combat where I'm just like, look, I get it. We're all struggling to stay engaged here. Dnd combat is kinda boring and hard to pay attention to when you're not 100% at the table, and your whole goal is to keep people entertained, but making everything over the top and hyperviolent ain't it, chief. Like, putting aside that attempting to describe everything in gory detail reduces the overall impact of your descriptions as well as clutters up the podcast's soundscape with snarling voices and piped in sound effects, it also just takes longer.

Genuinely, if your descriptions are like "you hit the monster and it goes 'blalalalalalargh' and your axe cleaves through it's sinewy flesh and hits bone and you hear a sickening slurping sound as it drops to the ground with a feeble 'rugughgh' and you wrench your blade from it with a pop and look to the sky in triumph" it really ain't that much more interesting than 'you do five damage and kill it.' What is the narrative goal of your description? Is it just skinnerbox for your players so that they feel better about rolling the big number? Like, seriously, examine the reason you're doing this and think about what you're gaining. I 100% believe that it's okay to do the skinnerbox glory kill description if that's what people at the table want, but you gotta interrogate that.

Anyway i just kinda think that dnd as a medium has a number of baked in assertions that really are starting to drag down any podcast I listen to that involves it as a system because, like, I love dnd! I love playing dnd! But i hate what ends up in pretty much every podcast because either I'm sitting here like bro don't make them roll. this is not a roll. don't do this. do not. or it's like ah cool, here's another hour and change of grueling tabletalk as the party slogs through an encounter that can be charitably summed up as "the party scares off some insects" (i'm looking at you trials and trebuchets)

partially i think that dnd is much more rng based and it's easy to slide into clownshoes territory where you roll a 1 and suddenly your character shits and farts and throws up but also like, the more I try different game systems the more I come to realize that dnd has some radically wild numbers, man. Like, when you break down the actual percentages, it makes very little sense. the progression of AC vs attack bonus in general is nuts. The idea that a routine task is a dc 10? wtf. There's so much that really needs to be picked apart to truly understand what the fuck you're doing as a dm and there are so few resources for it because a lot of people aggressively advocate for terrible actions (shoutout to all the dms who are like 'oh yeah i kill my players just to keep them on their toes' and also the guy who wrote the 'top ten mimics to destroy your players' trust' article) PLUS you're trying to tell a semi-coherent story and react to your players' agency and it's just like...

I can't even say 'just play [game system]' because a lot of the simplified systems like blades in the dark, pbta, etc, are heavily one-sided and swingy because the dm doesn't roll, so as soon as the player fails a roll things go south hard because that's the only time the dm is allowed to make things bad (and arguably that's kind of true in dnd but at least there're more steps between 'you failed at what you were trying to do' and 'now a bad thing happens to you')

and to be fair to pbta that all depends on how mean the gm wants to be but the rules literally say 'the gm makes a move as hard as they want' which means that you are the only person who decides how bad things get, you can't point to the rulebook and be like 'look man I know this feels unfair but the stat block is right. here. This is how much damage it does because it's an appropriate encounter for your level' and so you really gotta have a level of trust and familiarity in the group so that no one feels like they're getting singled out or punished

anyway the misfits and magic system kind of runs pbta style where the gm doesn't roll hardly anything (from what I saw, it's possible aabria was playing fast and loose and if so I commend her) but there's the added feature of 'adversity tokens' where, when you fail a roll, you take a token that you can store to add to a later roll. It means that a) if things really start swinging against the pcs, they get tools handed to them to start to swing things back and b) for climactic and narratively appropriate moments, they can unleash banked tokens to push a failure into a success

of course, it's a polyhedral system so. loses a lot of points for that. [what I mean here is that the players have differently-sided dice for each stat, so they might roll a d20 for one stat and roll a d4 for another stat, which is perfectly fine in theory and in practice turns into a fucking nightmare]

#long post #just complaining about ttrpgs i guess #i really respect brennan as a dm but i'm tired of his combats #he's a lot like mercer where I'm just like. dude. this ain't theater. You can chill #doing the voices is great but I can't understand half of what you're saying and it adds more shit I have to parse anyway #so I can't do much else while I'm watching it #and all the previous complaints #aabria though is a treasure and her makeup is on fucking point #she seems to only have a few settings for npcs so they never felt as varied and easily distinguishable as brennans #but like. not every shopkeeper and npc on screen for two minutes needs to have their own voice and personality #your players will never learn their names and will forget anything about them five minutes after the conversation ends anyway #save the effort for the characters they're actually gonna care about remembering

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sometipsygnostalgic · 4 years

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A discussion on Bayonetta 2

I’ve started replaying this, and I want to talk about how my opinion on it has changed since I tried it out a couple years ago.

I think the game feels like a bunch of people who were fans of Bayonetta 1 wanted to make a sequel game for it, rather than the people who DEVELOPED Bayonetta 1. It lacks self confidence.

I say this because it is waaaay too close in its narrative structure to Bayo 1, to the extent that it seems like they were shy to make it too different. This is to its detriment, because Bayo had that structure for a number of reasons, partly constraints on the team, partly because it was suited to a specific style that the game reinforced at all stages. Bayo 2 does not share that same style yet goes for the same structure.

With the ways the game was expanded, it is based on what the team behind Bayo 1 said that they wanted to include in the game but couldn’t.

This accounts for story elements, including Aesir being the enemy - the Ivatholl group was originally called the Aesir and it’s even probable this god’s presence was an idea Kamiya dreamt up in his lore, not sure. Jeanne and Bayo are living together which is Kamiya’s fanboy idea for what happened after the game, fantastic. Luka is now an... archaeologist? The game starts off very fanservicy, which I’m fine with. They go to HELL, which is a place they never got to visit in Bayo 1. ...The story involves a young Balder and Rosa, elements that Kamiya said he’d want to touch on if he made a sequel. Not necessarily, however, elements that this game expanded on thoroughly.

The game’s most insecure element is involving Loki and calling him “Little one” and having Bayo run around trying to save him. I feel like this was a very half baked idea, and it seems to have gnostic elements to it which Kamiya is VERY much into, but this ends up overriding the more interesting conflict of Bayo going to hell to save Jeanne.

Regarding gameplay - The game seems to have had more development time on those things which were sacrificed for Bayo 1, including environments (which were continuously copy pasted last time due to strict memory limitations) and a number of awesome setpieces. There’s also tons of NPCs in the starting area. It’s just got much more going on with its visual effects too.

.....This seems to have come at the expense of combat. This matches the pattern that Platinum have been taking, in that combat has been neutered so that your offensive capabilities are restricted to some “bigger” attacks you can make. Wicked Weaves were nerfed so that you’re encouraged to use Umbral Climax more. It’s way harder to stun enemies and perform combos on them. Witch Time lasts for less time??? Wicked Weaves are less powerful. The weapons have a lower skill floor, but also have a lower skill ceiling.

The most egregious change, which is what has convinced me they spent far less time on combat the second time around, is that some enemies can have attacks that hit you with next to no warning and opportunity to dodge. Some enemies can also DISAPPEAR while you’re attacking them and they transition into another attack animation - incredibly lazy, something not seen in the first game at all.

This puzzled me because the enemy designer for the game is the same as in the previous game. They must not have given him the opportunity to improve the design, or maybe he lost steam. He said in the developer video that it was his goal to make sure all the enemies had clear attack indicators and could be countered at all times, so what happened to that????

These changes are interesting to compare to the Devil May Cry series. DMC2 was a complete disaster for so many reasons that I don’t think they had the OPPORTUNITY to think about how the first game did things, so let’s ignore that... DMC3, however, OOZED with self confidence and changed the system in many ways for the better. It retconned the story of the first game somewhat, but made an improved narrative around Vergil. It was also the debut of Yuji Shimomura, the contracted cinematics director who has done all subsequent games for DMC and of course Bayonetta. The game appeared to be hit by massive constraints, like Bayonetta, but they focused on combat first and made sure it was as good as it could be, then on the enemies themselves, then on some of the key cinematics, THEN on the environment. So the environment in DMC3 kinda sucks for the most part but you don’t care because you’re having fun.

....DMC4 was not nearly as self conscious as Bayo 2 about being a good sequel, because it was made by the same director as 3, but it fell into a number of pitfalls around its level design and enemy design. The combat was at its very best, but everything else seemed to be hurt.

DMC5 is a perfect example of what Bayo 2 wanted to be. It’s a fanboy sequel, but it isn’t limited to the narrative structure of the previous games. It ditches the idea of reusing old locations and instead makes new locations that are easy as hell to build. It maintains the excellent combat system of 4 in what I percieve to be its full intended glory (inertia users would disagree), despite having to deal with the new hyper graphics RE2 engine that’s not built for these sorts of games.

There are a couple of drawbacks to the game, like how some enemy attacks are ridiculously hard to avoid, especially with Nero. However enemies overall have more ways to dispatch of them than in 4, which went downhill fast the moment you played as Dante, despite his improvements.

So, I think DMC series followed a natural progression of improving and getting bigger and badder and building on its best parts, while Bayonetta doesn’t seem confident to move away from the first game.

I think that this will only be exacerbated if Bayo 3 turns out to have time travel elements involved, and has a similarly neutered combat system to Bayo 2. There is lots of evidence the game is in Development Hell right now. We don’t know anything about what’s happening with it, and if it’ll even be a nintendo exclusive anymore. Platinum have gone through many changes since Kamiya was a games director.

#bayonetta #bayonetta 2

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jellypipemedia · 3 years

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Art Industry and Equality

The Artist Industry, an industry that lets self-expression come out in a number of mediums.

As an Artist myself, i can tell you how wonderful it has been to have a creative outlet like my multimedia. To express my ideas and watch the momentum of my work turn into something special. As many other Artists, it’s hard to find that validation and legitimacy in the industry that defines you as a professional and makes your career into more than a ‘hobby’. Some find that struggle more intense than others.

The idea that ‘All Artists have to struggle’ is a common ideology but beyond that- do all artists struggle in the same ways? Of course not. This could be combated with a number of different perspectives based off of different talent levels and different environments but commonly, artists are not given the same opportunities based off of more than just their talent. Different aspects come into play.

The Artist Industry has been known for their inclusive atmosphere and supportive community, but is it set apart from any other industry when it comes to addressing equality issues?

Misogyny/Trans-Misogyny , unequal opportunities based on gender, lack of recognition and the power struggle of legitimacy have all played their part in work industries all over- and the artist industry doesn’t escape that narrative.

A common theme that i find more than any other is women, queer, non-binary, and Fem artists struggle to find their power behind their art because they are usually dismissed, deemed illegitimate, or seen as ‘just a hobby’, or they could ‘make it a real job someday’. Their work isn’t given the credit it deserves or the recognition of legitimate work. Opportunities are missed quite often as work lays in favor of social stigmas and safe investments in uncomplicated people seem to flourish regularly.

Stewing over my thoughts on this, I reached out to my social media circle looking for more perspective on the situation. I was able to connect with a couple of people, ask them their thoughts on how these aspects of the industry have affected them on a professional level and their influence on the industry . I want to keep the dialogue going about this and would love to hear more about the perspective of women, queer, fem, non-binary artists on the industry that claims to be so inclusive.

With that being said, I had a great opportunity to talk with the Founder of ‘Siren Nation’. *

Diving into ‘Siren Nation’ media, I came across their ‘LinkedIn’ page. Their Mission Statement spoke to me and left me wanting to dig just a bit deeper into the foundation of their cause.

“Siren Nation is a unique arts organization that showcases and creates performance and exhibition opportunities for women throughout the year. We are the only women’s collective that produces an annual festival showcasing the original work of women working in music, film, performance and visual art.

Siren Nation’s mission is to inspire and empower women of all ages to create their own art and to highlight the many achievements of women in the arts.”

When I was connected with Natalia Kay O’brien, I didn’t know much about Siren Nation or where our conversation would lead too. I had an idea of where i wanted to take this project, not having much more than a foundation and urgency to keep learning more about the perspectives of women identifying, queer and non-binary.

So, I asked if she’d be willing to help me out by telling her story and giving us an insight on her perspective of the industry.

Natalia:

I'd be super happy to help! There's an amazingly rich queer music scene in Portland and the Pacific Northwest. That is a big part of the reason I moved out here!

From 1999-2010 i produced a lot of events that centered queer folx -some from out of town, some in town.

Jay:

Awesome! I appreciate that a lot about Portland and the PNW. I've grown up in Portland most of my life.

Natalia:

Lucky you!

Jay:

What are some of the events that you produced?

Natalia:

I started out doing house concerts for a spoken word artist out of NYC, then booking shows for/with traveling queer female artists i got connected with over time. I ended up doing the booking for mississippi pizza for a couple of years and got some more experience there producing shows--generally national folk acts--and booking artists. That helped me begin to get more familiar with the local music scene and get introduced to some amazing artists like Laura Gibson, long before they broke out.

My experience and frustration, with the local music scene's dearth of female and queer presence and opportunities to get the kind of exposure that festivals offer, inspired me to found Siren Nation, an organization dedicated to promoting and empowering women artists.

As a queer woman I made sure that there was a strong queer presence during my tenure. We were supposed to have ‘Gossip’ headline the first festival and 3 weeks beforehand they broke their contract!

The seven years I spent with Siren Nation exposed me to new queer artists. Unfortunately, at that time, there was no such thing (in terms of identity) as nonbinary, and we didn't put enough effort into be trans inclusive. We produced, and they still do, 2 tribute nights, one for dolly parton, one for billie holiday, that have been happening annually for something going on 15 years! and then the annual festival, in november, which i produced from 2007-2010.

Jay:

That's absolutely awesome that you contributed so much to the queer/fem community. I know how intensely hard it can be to demand that recognition and be seen as legitimate in the eyes of the world. It's no small thing. Can you give me an example of a time where you’ve experienced misogyny/trans-misogyny that directly affected your work as an artist?

Natalia:

I was tired of not seeing enough women and women-fronted acts on local festival lineups when there were SO MANY amazing female bands. My work as an artist (visual) has been almost entirely a private endeavor. however i do think there is a correlation between the fact that i considered my drawing 'doodling' and i'm a woman. I made art for years before I took on the identity and claimed it. I still squirm a little.

Jay:

I can totally understand that. I deeply feel like the accomplishments of women are often made out to be 'A nice hobby' or 'could be a job someday.'

Natalia:

Yes, exactly.

I can tell you as a booking agent for queer female artists in an industry that is heavily male, did not make for the most hospitable environment to work in. Getting club bookers to book an artist whose press kit screams 'radical feminist lesbian" let alone that she was doing spoken word which was just emerging...well, ultimately all they cared about was whether we could fill a room. There were some venues that didn't want to deal with us, in more conservative parts of the country, i.e. midwest and southeast.

I think trans-misogyny was unfortunately a little baked into Siren Nation in the sense that trans women have remained almost invisible within that space. Not enough queers involved with siren nation after I left!

So I tackled showcasing as many media as possible--music, film, visual arts and later fashion and comedy.”

Jay:

That's a powerful tool in today's world too. Being someone who is involved in a variety of media ( myself as well) is a powerful weapon to today's world of perspective. We have a lot more influence than people credit us for. Have you been affected by any people that are positive influencers in the queer community/have given inspiration to you personally?

Natalia:

The artists inspire me!! That's part of why I produced events because I truly believe in the artists and want to help them connect with a larger audience and want people to get exposed! Bands like Team Dresch, who really blazed trails for queer women punks, all around the country at a time when there was virtually no queer presence in media. Beth Ditto and Gossip, for being fearlessly brash, unashamedly fat, and a force! Women who were unafraid to be loud when it wasn't the norm yet--Sleater Kinney, Bikini Kill too!--inspired me and they were tackling issues that I cared about as a feminist in ways that I didn't see straight women doing.

I will never ever forget seeing Bikini Kill and Kathleen Hannah telling all the 'boys to go to the back'. It blew my mind having stopped moshing b/c it wasn't safe and she demanded and created that space

Jay:

I can definitely vouch for queer punk artists being a heavy influence in the queer community and causing pressure on 'social norms'! It's very empowering and the women in the scene are not a force to be reckoned with. It's still astonishing how such a positive and empowering movement got met with so much resistance.

Natalia:

Kinda like what I wanted to do with Siren Nation. Yeah, some people can't handle a strong woman especially if she is in any way not gender/hetero conforming.

Jay:

I'm sure Siren Nation impacted a lot of people to be the ferocious and powerful people they knew they were.

Natalia:

I hope so!! I know it was a space where, for example, at the tribute shows, artists got to meet and mingle backstage, and spontaneous collaborations would happen.

Jay:

That's the best part of festivals in general. Bring artists from all over and to create that opportunity for networking and creativity.

Natalia:

Right!??!

Practically every female artist who has broken out nationally performed at Siren Nation at some point and offering free workshops was an important way for us to empower and encourage women to create and make their own art.

Jay:

That's awesome! Does Siren Nation still have a website that I can reference too?

Natalia:

Yup! Sirennation.org

As an audience, I found festivals an amazing opportunity to get exposed to new artists.

Most of the language there that is about the organization, like mission statements and values, is mine.

Jay:

So why have you decided not to produce events for Siren Nation more recently? or does the organization take care of itself nowadays?

Natalia:

I left in 2010 because i was pursuing a masters degree, basically decided to pour all the hours and energy i had put into siren nation into a degree that would get me a salary for doing that kind of work. My co-founder December Carson has stayed at the helm and kept it going all these years. There are some longtime volunteers who help at events.

My dream that someday it could be a salaried job I finally realized was not going to be feasible

Jay:

That's a positive transition out of the organization tho! Did you get your master's degree?

Natalia:

Yes! It helped to know that it would carry on after I left, because it was my baby and I was very attached! It has thrived over the years due to the dedication of the board members who make it happen. New blood comes in, and then they add fashion and comedy. It's been neat to see how it has evolved over the years and yes, I got my Masters, in Public Administration.

Jay:

That's so so so good to hear Thank you so much for talking with me today- you have really been insightful and this is truly very inspirational to hear as a queer woman in the multimedia industry!

With ending our conversation, I felt like I made a breakthrough on what direction I wanted to take this project and found the encouragement to keep pushing through the media and highlight these amazing women, non-binary, and queer people.

We lack recognition for being who we are while we make it in this industry. We struggle and fight back - gaining ground and getting traction.

I’m excited to see where this project takes me and I'm glad to have you all on this journey. Stay alert for more to come!

#Art Industry #art #journalism #punk #punkscene #inequality #queer #trans #woman #women

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harryseyebrows · 4 years

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Fine Line - Track-by-track rating

I’m in the mood to start shit. So here it is. My comprehensive album rating list. Rating subcategories should be self-explanatory, but I’m judging based on lyrics, how listen-able the song is overall, how interesting it is in terms of JUST sound, and crafting/production/my perceived idea of how well done the entire song is in terms of all the elements combined. Think about the effort that Liam put into his album vs. the effort Harry put into SOTT. What was written and created with intent and what was created maybe more for the sake of creating. Then, I did ACTUAL MATH and came up with an overall score out of ten. Read with caution and yell at me if you feel the need.

Golden:

Lyrics - 7/10

“I know that you’re scared because I’m so open” is fantastic and it’s great to see him literally being more open with his songwriting, but he loses some points for the general repetitive nature and more common turns of phrase.

General listen-ability - 10/10

It’s an easy song to listen to, whether you’re putting it on for background noise, listening while driving, or listening specifically with the intent of paying attention and enjoying.

Sonic intrigue - 8/10

The slower beginning and then the slam into the guitars and drums is great. It flows nicely and has a good pace/rhythm.

Crafting - 9/10

Overall: 34/40 = 8.5/10

Watermelon Sugar:

Lyrics - 6/10

Nothing particularly thrilling. It’s a generally fun song with some lyrics that are suggestive but not overtly so. Good to know that he’s enthusiastic about oral, but again, it’s not his finest lyrical work.

General listen-ability - 8/10

Another more easy listening track. Good for any time. A fun, sexy little bop.

Sonic intrigue - 7/10

The horns and bass line save this song from otherwise being a bit lackluster in terms of production, and make it interesting in a subtle, understated way that’s very enjoyable.

Crafting - 8/10

Overall: 29/40 = 7.3/10

Adore You:

Lyrics - 7/10

Kinda cliche and corny; “I get so lost inside your eyes”. Otherwise, very fun and leans heavily into a more pop lens. Makes up for it with “You don’t have to say you love me / You don’t have to say nothing / You don’t have to say you’re mine” and the “Oh honey”s.

General listen-ability - 10/10

I want to listen to this song all day every day. There has to be something in the soundwaves that’s brainwashing me. Can’t stop won’t stop.

Sonic intrigue - 9/10

At first glance (listen) it’s a very basic sort of pop song. But the more you listen, you realize that it’s rooted in a more funk-style guitar lick and utilizes synths in a way that doesn’t come off as too manufactured or ‘fake’. It’s layered; you find more and more complexity with each spin.

Crafting - 9/10

Overall: 35/40 = 8.8/10

Lights Up:

Lyrics - 8/10

The lyrical structure, if you look at it on paper, could easily be read as some type of poetry. The song opens with a question: ‘What do you mean?’ and then proceeds to offer fragments of sentences that aren’t necessarily connected, but somehow offer a cohesive picture — a message that’s still a little unclear but offers multiple interpretations in meaning.

General listen-ability - 9/10

It’s fun and boppy but also surprisingly mellow. For me personally, the tempo and bass mean that it can be hit or miss in terms of how/when I want to listen to it, but for the most part, I don’t skip it. This might also have to do with it being the first song we heard from him since HS1, and I might have overkilled it a bit.

Sonic intrigue - 8/10

It’s hard to not compare this song to his work on HS1, for the reasons above. HS1 was definitely more rock-oriented; more bare bones production and an ode to the more classic methods of music making ie singer, guitar, bass, and drums. Whereas with this song, it was essentially a complete 180 in style and production, with a little flair of R&B style music while maintaining his classic air of whimsy in both the lyrics and his less-frequently-used breathy head voice. Sometimes I still find it hard to believe that it’s a Harry Styles song.

Crafting - 8/10

Overall: 33/40 = 8.3/10

Cherry:

Lyrics - 8/10

One of Harry’s many talents is his ability to project tone with the combination of how he sings/emotes with his voice with the lyrics he’s singing. This song is no exception. It’s a sadder, more melancholic song, where he’s expressing some less-than-pleasant feelings, and you’re not only getting that from the words he’s singing, but HOW he’s singing it. It allows the listening to feel and empathize. It’s something he’s very masterful at. (See: the opposite would be something like Adore You, which under the guise of a more upbeat song, the lyrics are actually kind of sad and grovel-y)

General listen-ability - 7/10

I respect his artistic vision and the choice to include the voice note but as part of a general playlist, it can come off a little odd and out of place. Otherwise it’s very palatable. It just makes me sad, so I don’t often intentionally put it on to listen.

Sonic intrigue - 7/10

I liken this to a FTDT style song. Very raw. More singer-songwriter than pop. Some very lovely guitar playing and it’s nice hearing him sing in a register that’s been essentially neglected up until this album. But for the most part, I don’t think it’s his most interesting work. Very typical singer-songwriter guitar type song.

Crafting - 8/10

Overall: 30/40 = 7.5/10

Falling:

Lyrics - 7/10

I enjoy and appreciate his honesty, and perhaps there’s something to be said about the lack of flowery turns of phrase, but I just don’t feel like this is his most clever work. Again, great to see him being so honest, but it sounds like the extended version of If I Could Fly.

General listen-ability - 6/10

I can’t allow this to randomly come on shuffle without putting myself at risk of a depressive spiral. That’s where he loses points.

Sonic intrigue - 7/10

Every album has one, and this is it. The Basic Song. So widely palatable that it’s...boring. Shoot me, I know.

Crafting - 8/10

Overall: 28/40 = 7/10

To Be So Lonely:

Lyrics - 9/10

Currently, with just HS1 and Fine Line under his belt, THIS song is his lyrical Magnum Opus. It’s honest. It showcases an intriguing narrative. It’s clever. It’s fun. It’s a little sad. This is Harry and his amalgamation of musical influences mixed up in a bowl, poured into a pan, and baked into a perfect cake with frosting flowers.

General listen-ability - 8/10

This is another one of those songs that you can have on in the background and it fits into whatever you’re doing, or you put it on specifically to scream ‘arrogant son of a bitch’ back at him. It’s versatile.

Sonic intrigue - 10/10

The production on this song is clean but also a little rough around the edges, and I think it was done intentionally. You can hear the buzz of guitar and bass strings. There are peaks and troughs of volume. It has a sneaky little swinging beat that makes it impossible to not bop your head along with it. Again, it’s INTERESTING.

Crafting - 10/10

Overall: 37/40 = 9.3/10

She:

Lyrics - 8/10

I’m afraid to say anything negative about this song because I don’t want to be executed, but here goes. I think it offers a fun, interesting narrative on the first few listens. It’s a story; a little fantastical and sultry. But for me, it feels a bit like Woman 2.0

General listen-ability - 7/10

I have to be in the right mood to put it on specifically, so otherwise, it’s one that I won’t necessarily skip, but I prefer to have it on when I want to listen to slower music. Also kudos to Mitchell but the guitar wank at the end is just a little on the long side.

Sonic intrigue - 8/10

This is definitely a stylistic callback to the overall sound of HS1, and for that reason, I think it offers a nice bit of continuity.

Crafting - 8/10

Overall: 31/40 = 7.8/10

Sunflower Vol. 6:

Lyrics - 9/10

The story! The atmosphere! The pure, unbridled joy it offers! KISS IN THE KITCHEN LIKE IT’S A DANCEFLOOR!!!! I’m offended at how cute this song is. More men need to write songs like this.

General listen-ability - 9/10

This song instantly puts me in a happier mood. I don’t feel like a car ride is complete without listening to it at least once. It’s textural. I love it.

Sonic intrigue - 9/10

The backwards audio in the beginning. The weird bass. The vocal layering. The nonsense ad libs at the end!!!! FUN!!!!

Crafting - 10/10

Overall: 37/40 = 9.3/10

Canyon Moon:

Lyrics - 8/10

This song is deceptive — underneath the cheery, more jovial sound, it actually has some more echo-y melancholy notes — the ‘So hard to leave it / that’s what I always do’ and ‘I’m going home’s. It’s about reminiscing but still moving forward. Reflecting!!

General listen-ability - 9/10

Could easily fit in on a romcom soundtrack, and I mean that in the best way.

Sonic intrigue - 7/10

If I didn’t know that he specifically sought out Joni Mitchell’s dulcimers for this, it would feel just like any other upbeat guitar song, but I DO know his process behind it, so his score gets bumped a bit.

Crafting - 9/10

Overall: 33/40 = 8.3/10

Treat People With Kindness:

Lyrics - 7/10

Ohhh Harry Styles. He just wants people to be nice to each other! And maybe be a utopian society cult leader. It’s okay. We love him anyway. This song is full of idealisms; perhaps it’s a toe-dip into social commentary. Perhaps it’s a reflection of his own life, on dealing with friendships and loss and the overall nature of being a person. Who knows! It’s a batshit extravaganza in the best way.

General listen-ability - 8/10

If you can listen to this song without wanting to dance...you have a problem.

Sonic intrigue - 9/10

This song is all over the place but in a very thoughtful, cohesive way. It would not be the same if he sang the chorus; half of what makes it so charming is that he doesn’t, and instead, he sounds like some sort of unhinged ring-leader at the end, demanding ‘one more time’ and screaming. UNHINGED BUT MAKE IT JOYFUL.

Crafting - 9/10

Overall: 33/40 = 8.3/10

Fine Line:

Lyrics - 9/10

This song doesn’t have many lines, but the ones that do exist, are all purposeful and pack an incredible punch. It would be a disservice to him to try and pick a ‘best’ one, but ‘Put a price on emotion / I’m looking for something to buy’ and ‘my hand’s at risk / I’ll fold’ are up there as two of my favorite things he’s ever written. The repetitiveness of ‘we’ll be a fine line’ can be a little grating, but I find that to be entirely dependent on my mood, and not any fault of his own.

General listen-ability - 8/10

I put this on when I want to disassociate. Not ideal for when I’m driving down the highway, but what can you do.

Sonic intrigue - 10/10

One of the most, if not THE most, beautiful pieces of music he’s ever put out. Nothing more or less can be said.

Crafting - 10/10

Overall: 37/40 = 9.3/10

#this took me a long time to finish so you better appreciate it

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lambourngb · 4 years

Text

Behind the Scenes- Last Year’s Wishes

@zuluoscarecho - ““Oh man you have been busy! I’m glad the writing Has been going well for you. I would love to hear about your process when you get a chance if you’re keen. Like whether you plotted it out, whether the whole fic came to you (more or less) or how hard you had to work to fill in the gaps to get you where you wanted to go, whether you’re a “push through” kinda writer and just sit down and do it or whether you scribble stuff down all day and then type it up at the end or whatever. Many questions I have”

Oh boy, these are great questions- my approach to writing has changed from how I started “Last Years Wishes” and how I’m finishing it. First of all, I was out of practice. The last long story I tackled and finished on my own was in 2002-2003 on ff.net (for a moment I thought it was 2012-2013 but I just looked it up and still can’t believe it was that long ago, hahah) Then I wrote a follow up with a co-writer that ended …poorly due to stuff outside of writing with that person. I hit a very bad depressive cycle and didn’t write again until 2019 and RNM.

The idea came after I watched some true crime story in August- I think it was “Murder Comes to Town” - which is all small town population less than 10,000 gets hit with a salacious murder. I immediately thought about Michael, and first I thought he could be blamed for Max’s disappearance, but then I remembered how visible Noah was to the town, and I was off plotting. Carina said on twitter- oh lord what a loaded sentence that is - that we don’t know when Alex was at the Airstream or what he had to say- which fine, but that made me think about juggling the time a bit, letting the police show up first, then Alex go to the wild pony, THEN MAX, and yeah boom! Conflict! Alex knows Michael wants to be with someone else, but he just gave him an alibi. They are stuck! Fuck Alex’s whole life, amirite? That part of the idea came all at once.

I wrote the first draft of the scene for Tumblr - August 8th - started it before work when I like to write- kept writing once I got to work (bad employee!) posted it and as the comments and likes rolled in, I kept writing. First day was like 6,000 words.

Then I didn’t really touch it for 2 weeks. I kept adding stuff here and there, using WIP Wednesday to motivate me to share a bit. In one month though, the story was at 10,000 words by September 12. Mainly because I just wrote as it came to me, and let my brain just fuck off on Tumblr or reading other fics. I wasn’t really serious about it. Six weeks later it was 15,000 words by the end of October. This time I thought the reason I didn’t have more progress on it was because I didn’t have the practice of finishing a story- so I attempted at the very beginning of October to do Whumptober. I managed to write 2 stories - truth (to the people we love) and If You Regret (What You Know).

So two stories finished, I went back to Last Year’s Wishes and used everyone working on NaNo for November to buckled down. I wrote out a rough outline of future scenes. I made a point to write, if I could, every day something. I do try and write in a linear fashion, but if I couldn’t move forward in the story, I would go back to previous stuff to add in descriptions, put in some introspection- sometimes a whole scene needed to be inserted, then I could push forward again.

The story grew from 15,000 words on Nov 1 to 28,000 words by Dec 1. Nearly double in size. And the more I put my ass in the chair to write, the easier it became to focus. It will never be easy to focus for me- I really like scrolling on my phone, chatting with other people, etc. But I had to build a muscle in my brain from the ground up with no real belief that I would succeed because I thought depression and anti-depressants had broken my brain. But Malex kept me interested.

By the time December rolled around, I made a goal of finishing it by New Years, but then my outline kept growing. I kept thinking about the underlying plot, I kept thinking about how big the communication divide was- I couldn’t just say “they talked, they fucked HEA!”. As December came to a close, I realized I had written 32,000 words in the month of December but I was only half done with the story. So while I was disappointed I hadn’t hit my goal of being done, I was very pleased at the progress. The story was around 60,000 words by the end of the year.

January- I increased my goal of 1,000 words a day, to 2,000 words a day. I really believed I could finish it in one sustained push. I wrote nearly 40,000 words in the month of January- bringing it to just under 99,000 words but…it still wasn’t done. My assistant quit. I got sick. Progress stuttered. But I felt like the end was in site- so I contacted betas, two of which came through- tasyfa and Maura - and kept writing. I thought it was just 20,000 words to go, and since I just wrote 40,000 in one month, I could easily write 20,000 2-1/2 weeks, right????

February- beta comments were great, I started releasing it publically in chapters, and then the feedback started rolling in- and instead of motivating me forward, I started obsessing over the next thing people would read- I wanted it to be perfect. I started inserting new scenes, fleshing out other areas- driving my betas crazy I think- because I kept poking at it. I wrote those 20,000 words easily as the story was getting posted, but they were all in the existing frame of the plot. New stuff … that didn’t really start happening until March.

Another thing that I realized was my outline needed to be supportive but flexible. Originally (which remind me once it’s complete) but I had some different ideas for how the last few chapters were going to go, and I had to let those narratives go because it no longer felt natural to me with the narrative I had established.

Even now I have 5 scenes outlined for chapter 22, but as I started writing it this morning, I am leaning toward blending it into 4 or 3 scenes. Oh- my scene should have a standalone point to accomplish, and if that point isn’t clear or can be accomplished in another way, then it gets moved or blended. I don’t really jot things down on paper- but I have two documents- the writing doc, and the story doc. Writing doc has the outline, I always write with my outline heading just below my cursor so I can keep looking down at my goals and construct the scene from there. The story doc is where I cut and paste it into the whole thing. Sometimes as I scroll to find where I am in the doc, I will add something or edit something, before putting in the next bit at the end.

This is what chapter 18-19-20 looked like on Feb 9th in my outline : [1.. After their pathetic attempts to decorate Alex‘s leg was starting to bother him. Michael took one look at him and advised that he remove the prosthetic. Alex protested mildly about being seen that way. Michael reassured him that Isabell not only knew but didn’t care.

1a. - Isobel and Kyle arrive- she found him in the grocery store attempting to leave with the last baked ham - Mom working a double, Rosa was going to midnight mass with Arturo and Liz- 1b. Isabell and Michael have a quiet talk that Alex overhears while he changes and removes his leg for the night-. He discusses talking to Maria and reframing some of what Alex had said. 1c- walks past them to the kitchen with Kyle]

[2. Isobel and Kyle show up to the cabin for Christmas Eve- Isobel sleeps over. Michael offers the spare, Kyle takes the couch, Alex objects to Michael sleeping in the airstream. ]

[ 3. Alex wakes up to an alert on the day after Christmas Day that gets an alert about someone at the cave. Finds Michael staring at Jesse and not Max.. Why did you think you were like him- that night that Noah died. What did that mean. It means he was ruthless about his agenda and so am I. I’ll do anything to protect you. Michael is silent and closed off, but follows him back to the cabin - knowledge from the ship piece ]

ONE MONTH LATER on March 10 the notes looked like this based on how the story looked: [2. Isobel and Kyle stay in the face of the weather- Isobel sleeps over. Michael offers the spare, Kyle takes the Airstream ,Michael volunteers himself to sleep with Alex - Michael quietly explains he isn’t going to have a conversation with anyone afterward, Christmas gift exchange- Michael gives him the handprint- remnant from the console and his mother, sharing the intensity - they have sex ]

[ 3. Alex wakes up to intense sorrow by Michael via the handprint n the day after Christmas Day that gets an alert about someone at the cave. Finds Michael staring at Jesse and not Max.. Why did you think you were like him- that night that Noah died. What did that mean. They discuss Alex’s family and the future- do you think you would ever forgive them? I’ve been mad at Max, but if he came back today I would take him back, What about Flint and what he did ? Do you think he’s sorry? knowledge from the ship piece- soul mates, forever tied together ]

Err— I’m long winded, so did I answer your questions? Feel free to ask more!!

#fake dating your ex because of the feds #wip whine #the writing process #behind the scenes with my disaster brain

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arcxnumvitae · 4 years

Note

FE3H

Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Uhhh yeah some Three Houses spoilers here too

Favorite character: I know it seems like Dimitri’s a given choice but he’s one of many! Him, Claude, Marianne, and Bernadetta are my top faves. Felix’s angry ass too. Seteth is up there for looking at all of these damaged noble kids with awful parents and going “I’m your dad now.” Linhardt might be getting up there. Maybe Hubert.

Least Favorite character: Any kind of villain is kinda cheating and honestly, all of the student/playable characters are given so much of that good three dimensional fleshed out juice that it’s hard to wholly dislike them. Even ones I started out disliking, like Hilda and Lorenz, won me over later with their supports and reasoning for the way they are. I feel like it’s also cheating to say Edelgard since I haven’t finished her route to fully understand her at her best (as I like to operate with full knowledge from every angle before making final judgements), but from what I’ve seen of her from the Golden Deer and Blue Lion route…aha…hm…ehhhhh…I’m also a wimp so who knows if I’ll ever get around to finishing her route. I happen to like my Dima with his head attached thank you very much.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): The obvious ones: Dimitri and Byleth, Claude and Byleth, Felix and Sylvain. Ones I haven’t talked much about (I’m going over five but do you see how many characters there are. Too many.) Marianne and Hilda. Lorenz and Marianne. Gilbert and not being an absolute fuck of a dad (a shame this doesn’t happen unless Annette gets a paired ending with him). Lorenz and Lysithea’s really cute too. Mercedes and Dedue is very sweet.

Character I find most attractive: Dimitri and Claude. Seteth and his Raw Dilf energy. All of the ladies’ timeskips designs, I never shut up about them. They peaked with those designs.

Character I would marry: Dimitri and Claude. Seteth. See the trend here?

Character I would be best friends with: Hm. Ones I would like to be friends with? Mercedes is sweet and bakes sweets, her. Ashe is a good boy, him. I love the characters but I feel like a lot of them I would not want to actually have to deal with

a random thought: As much as I would love for a route where I didn’t have to kill students I love from a different house (outside of the recruiting feature), I understand why there isn’t a golden route like that and am glad they stuck with not making one. Adds so much weight to the narrative to know without a doubt that there is no “right” choice and that no matter what you do people will die. Save for Claude being a baller and being the only lord who can survive every single route, look at him go.

An unpopular opinion: I’m honestly kinda sad the way each route single-handedly unites the entirety of Fodlan and erases the three nations of the Empire, Kingdom, and Alliance under– well, it gets route-specific here. But basically, in Golden Deer route the church is abolished and the mc becomes the ruler of all of Fodlan. I could talk about how I feel like suddenly giving a random nobody with the esteemed background of former mercenary and professor the title of Supreme Monarch Over All is Kinda Dumb writing-wise but that’d take long. In Blue Lions the mc becomes archbishop of the church and Dimitri the Supreme King, not as dumb but still ehhh. Black Eagles I believe has Edelgard disbanding the church and Supreme Leader-ing with the intent to…not do it later? Pass it on…? Gosh, sorry, I’m trying to figure out how to properly explain what I don’t like about the fate of Fodlan in these endings without it being too long. Basically, I feel like the celebratory theme of “we united the countries into one kinda forcibly through war so peace can reign for now yay!” is a bit eh. Mostly forcibly conquering and integrating what were already peaceful countries (again, kinda varies between routes) and then painting it as “the only good option for Fodlan” rubs me wrong. Not to mention just looking at logistics how on earth is this supposed to work? No modern technology, only one or two main rulers, and this land is huge. Hire overseers to take care of parts of the nation to delegate your work? That’s not much different than before. Not to mention, only Dimitri’s ending I believe stating how he worked to put systems in place to give the common population more political power, otherwise we still have this conflict of nobles making decisions without much say from their charges. Argh, I feel like I’m getting scattered about this I’ll just stop here.

My Canon OTP: Welcome to Three Houses where nothing is canon and your ships do matter! But yeah, nothing’s “canon”, if they can get a paired ending then they can get a paired ending and that’s about as canon as it gets.

My Non-canon OTP: Uh, I feel like I mentioned my favorite ships already anyways? I like Dimitri and Byleth but it’s hard to call that the OTP above all other ships I like.

Most Badass Character: You’ve gotten to the Blue Lions timeskip. It’s just you and a mentally unstable bloodthirsty Dimitri surrounded by a lot of bandits with no support. “This is going to be rough to last until the other students get here” you think to yourself and then send Dimitri to attack an enemy. “I’ll comply,” he states simply, runs up, gets a crit, yells, “OUT OF MY WAY’ and then does nearly 200 damage on one poor bandit. You have an awakening. His strength stat is out of this world, either he tanks damage or nearly consistently dodges entirely. His crit rate is unimaginable. I’m not kidding when I say a viable strategy is just to throw post timeskip Dimtri into a horde of enemies and let him do all of the work. And man, do I love watching that man work.

Most Epic Villain: The villains in 3H were…underwhelming and kinda one note. Edelgard classifies more an as anti-hero than anything technically. I feel like I should say Nemesis just on the fact that his final boss map is fun and God-Shattering Star is……wow…….man….phew. Even if I feel Nemesis is kinda a weak villain anyways ahhhhh. Maybe I’d have gone with Rhea if I finished my BE route but can she wholly be classified as a villain either…?

Pairing I am not a fan of: Uhhh, I feel like it’s a given but even post-timeskip when they’re adults I’m still not fond of the professors having paired endings with the former students. Not a fan. Rhea and Byleth, which yes is a pairing that can happen, I’m not fond of for various reasons. Uhhh, other than that I’m honestly fine with a lot of the student pairing that I can remember, although I side-eye Ingrid and Dedue. I hear that Hubert and Petra’s paired ending is bad and I don’t like any of Bernadetta’s canon endings that have her retreating further into seclusion but that doesn’t mean I don’t like any of her ships that have that. I don’t know where else to put this but a thing I love is that there are m/f pairings with platonic endings. That’s nice. Good change of pace, let them be good friends.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): hahahahaha Dedue, baby, you deserved more with how you were handled and the whole Duscur thing being swept to the side.

Favourite Friendship: One thing I love is the platonic relationships too. Ferdinand and Lorenz gossiping and chatting over tea. The Faerghus childhood quartet (Dimitri, Felix, Sylvain, and Ingrid). Hilda and Claude if you ship them as friends are great. Dimitri and Mercedes is also incredibly sweet.

Character I most identify with: There’s a reason I love Marianne and Bernadetta so much.

Character I wish I could be: Uhhhh, geez. Hm. Byleth? Just to get to interact with everyone and not have to deal with their sucky backstories because everyone’s families suck so much. There’s so much wrong with Fodlan, my gosh

#shctteredillusions #{Answers #no proofreading just going to let the stream of consciousness typing go through

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