#but its okay because when he told his priest his priest said he was going to hell anyways for being gay

[boycritter]

this is the funniest fucking book ive ever read

[katakaluptastrophy]

You know when you're at a dinner party with God and things start to get...weird...? It's Maundy Thursday, and it's time for more Bible study for fans of weird queer necromancers!

It's currently Holy Week, the week where liturgical Christians reenact the events of Jesus' death and resurrection in real time. And today, it's Maundy Thursday, which commemorates the Last Supper, where Jesus ate with his friends before he was crucified.

Before we get to the Locked Tomb, what's so special about the Last Supper?

There are actually a few significant things that happen during the Last Supper, but this is where Jesus introduces the concept of communion:

Now as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and after blessing it broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, “Take, eat; this is my body.” And he took a cup, and when he had given thanks he gave it to them, saying, “Drink of it, all of you, for this is my blood. - Matthew 26:26-28

This isn't actually the first time Jesus has told his followers they will need to literally eat him:

So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. - John 6:53-56

If you're thinking that sounds a bit intense, you're not alone - the Bible says that "many" of his disciples left after being told that they were apparently going to have to eat Jesus to be saved and resurrected.

While many Protestant denominations take this symbolically, Catholicism teaches transubstantiation: that when the priest prays over the bread and wine at mass, they really do become Jesus' body and blood.

With this in mind, let's circle back to necromancers:

"Overseas to Corpus. (She likes the word corpus; it sounds nice and fat.)"

This is probably Corpus Christi College, Oxford (named after the Solemnity of the Most Holy Body and Blood of Christ, where the church celebrates the real presence of Jesus in the eucharist). The symbol of the college is a pelican - there's even a fabulously gilded pelican atop the sundial in their main quad.

What do pelicans have to do with the eucharist? Quite a lot, actually... The pelican is a really old symbol for Jesus, because it was believed to feed its young on its own flesh and blood in times of famine. The pelican on the Corpus Christi sundial is pecking at its own chest.

The pelican, like Jesus, was believed to give its own body to save those it loved.

Okay, so we've talked about Jesus, and weird cannibal birds, but why is this relevant to necromancers?

Specifically, the necromancer, the Necrolord Prime. John Gaius styles himself as "the god who became man", echoing Jesus as "the word became flesh". His entire pastiche of divinity is a sort of bootleg Catholicism. But while Catholicism posits Jesus' offering of his own body as foundational to the salvation and resurrection of humanity to eternal life, John's godhood relies the exploitation of other's bodies as the foundation of an empire of eternal death.

I've mentioned before in discussing Lyctorhood, how vampires have been understood to represent a sort of inversion of the eucharist because instead of consuming Christ's blood to receive eternal life in heaven, they consume other people's blood for an cursed eternal life on earth. John, and the Lyctors who followed him, gained power and eternal life from the consumption, body and soul, of another person.

In Catholic theology, Jesus offered his own body to degradation and death for the eternal salvation of humankind, but John forcibly consumes someone else's in service of his own apotheosis and immortality, dooming humanity in the process. He wants to be a Catholic flavoured god, but without the suffering that entails. But he's perfectly willing to outsource that suffering to others.

There's something just achingly awful about Alecto liking the feel of the word "corpus" - "body" - when she so hates the body that John constructed for her. John describing Alecto as "in a very real way" the mother of humanity and the mother pelican on the Corpus sundial rending her own flesh for her children. John forcing the earth into a personification of femininity and playing Jesus on another's sacrifice. His daughter, unwillingly trapped in her own corpse walking around with the wounds of her significant self-sacrifice like the resurrected Christ but yet again another body exploited by John in support of his performance of godhood. It brings to mind a very different fantastical engagement with Catholicism, where in the Lord of the Rings Tolkien - riffing on St Augustine - suggested that evil cannot create, it can only mock and corrupt. The ethics of The Locked Tomb may be messier than that, but there's something indicative in how John shies away from his creative powers - his abilities to grow plants, and manipulate earth and water - in favour of his dominion over death.

The metaphysical world of The Locked Tomb is clearly not intended to be the same as that of Catholicism. But with hindsight, perhaps John was onto something when he was surprised that he didn't "get the Antichrist bit" from the nun too.

John isn't the Antichrist. But he is, thematically, anti-Christ.

If we're talking about John and Jesus, there's also, of course, the question of Resurrection. But we've got to go through Hell and back before we get there on Sunday...

[animeficsworld]

The Ending We Deserve

Levi Ackerman x Reader

---

Seeing him in a wheelchair made you knees weak.

Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, Levi Ackerman.

When you left the Survey Corps, Levi and you parted. After many years of working together.

He always assumed you got married, had children or died during an attack.

But you never did.

You never moved on. You always loved him.

And now that the war has ended and you rushed to find him.

You heard news that he died along with the others, you heard news that he survived but was terribly injured and you also heard that he went insane and was locked away.

He didn’t notice you, he was talking to a man while you watched from afar.

You debated during the last couple of days whether you should find him and now, you debated if you should even go up to him. Maybe that old wound should not be reopened.

You watched as the man left with his son and you knew, now or never. 

“Humanity’s strongest watching the sunset.” you said as you walked over to him, he turned and looked at you with a shocked expression. “Before you ask, no, I’m not a ghost.”

“Y/N… how?”

“Mikasa told me everything.”

“Everything?”

You simply nodded before you sat down in front of him on the bench.

“I thought I would never see you. I thought you got married or died.”

“I never got married. It was hard to find another dark midget with a terrible attitude.” he smiled, you knew that you were the only friend of his who was still alive. Actually, more than a friend. “I’m sorry, I got scared and I left. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, idiot. This way at least I didn’t lose you.” you laughed a little.

You looked at the skin as it turned orange and pink.

“I think you know this, but I have always loved you Levi. Ever since I left, every day, I spent worrying about everyone. But I mostly worried about you.”

“They are all gone.”

“Yes, but we are still here. Our lives shouldn’t stop because theirs did. I rent a room closeby, if you want… I can visit tomorrow.”

“Don’t leave. I have a house, stay there with me.” he offered and you could never say no.

—

Almost a year passed since you decided to go back to Levi.

Almost a year since you two found each other and fell back into the same comfortable partnership that you two had years ago.

And almost a month since you two got married.

The wedding was in a small chapel with no one there. Only you two and a priest.

And it was enough. It was more than enough.

Now, with a simple gold band on both of your fingers, you decided to cook lunch, Levi was outside sitting on the bench, watching as the children of the neighbourhood played. 

You heard him enter the room just as you finished with the food.

“Lunch’s ready.” you said and you felt a pair of arms around you, your back met his chest as he put his head into your neck. You stayed like that, allowing him to have his time.

“I want one.” he said in a low voice, you almost didn’t hear him.

“Lunch? I just made some we can eat-”

“No.” you were confused. What could he mean? You tried to think but you couldn’t realize what he meant.

“W-What do you mean? Tea?” you asked after a few minutes.

“A child.” 

Now, that hit you like a cold shower. No, it was more like hitting a wall while going full speed.

“You what? You want a baby?”

“Yes.” his answer was simple. 

“I didn’t know you would… I couldn’t imagine that you would want a baby.” He pulled back and you turned around, you looked into his eyes.

“Sorry, I didn’t think it through. I guess you don’t want to and its okay.”

“It’s not that.” you said quickly before he could move away from you, you put your hand on his chest, holding him there. “I just never could have imagined that you would want one. B-but I think we can. If you really want to. I would love to have a child with you, Levi.” you smiled at him as he placed his forehead against yours.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” you said.

Who could have thought all those years ago that you would have such a happy ending?

Who could have thought that you will have the ending both of you deserved?

[worldserasingandcreatinginmymind]

Bloody Beetle | Part Five

Summary: you journey into the tomb with Steven and Layla, but will you get to Ammit before Harrow gets to you...

Pairing: Steven/Marc x Reader, Layla x Reader, Harrow x Reader

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Heka priests, deaths (I’m sorry 😭), Harrow being Harrow

A/N: as always spelling and grammar are not my strongest skills so please be kind :)

Part Four | Series Masterlist

- - - - -

“Y/N!” the British voice you didn’t realise you’d missed so much. “Y/N, oh thank God!”

You crawl out from under the bed and you just about have time to get to your feet before he’s pulling you in for the tightest hug you’ve ever received. You let yourself sink into his embrace for just a second before pulling away.

“Are you alright?” He starts to anxiously ramble “I thought you were dead-”

“You can drop the act. I know who you really are, Marc Spector. Harrow explained it all to me. He told me you were a mercenary and that everything the police said in the car that night, about how you killed people… It’s all true. And that’s why you pretended to be Steven. Pretended to be my friend-

"I AM your friend..."

"A friend wouldn't have just given Harrow the scarab and left me behind."

“No no no, Y/N, that’s not what happened at all. I lost the scarab while being chased out of there by a jackal that he summoned! I tried to get to you, so did Layla. I would never just leave you." He reaches out for you but you back away. “Please, you have to believe me!”

“I don't know what to believe anymore.” You say sadly.

“Y/N…” he stops talking, his eyes rolling back and when he looks at you again he’s completely different. “Y/N, I don't have time right now but I promise I will tell you the truth.”

“Marc..? What just happened?”

“We need to stop Harrow first and then I will explain everything. I promise.” Marc is interrupted by Maya running back into the tent, her gun aimed at him.

“You need to leave!” She says, trying to sound threatening but you can see pure panic in her eyes.

"Maya, its okay." You try to calm her. "Just put the gun away."

"I can't. Harrow- he'll be so mad at me. This isn't supposed to be happening-" Maya rambles, but when Marc moves slightly she refocuses on him. "You have to leave!"

“No, I think you should leave.” Layla says as she sneaks in behind Maya and yanks the gun straight out her hand. Maya runs and Layla sees you. She looks just as surprised as Steven had. “Y/N! You look good for someone who's supposed to be dead.”

“What are you talking about? Why would you think I was dead?"

"Because that's what Harrow is telling people." Marc says.

"Bu why would lie about that?"

“Because that's just what he does. He lies and manipulates people. which is one of the reasons we have to get to Ammit’s ushabti before he does.”

— — — —

The three of you make your way outside just in time to see Maya disappear down into the tomb.

“Shit, she’ll warn Harrow that we’re here.” Layla says as you run to the dig site. “Ah.” She says once you get to there.

“What's the problem?” Marc asks.

“I wasn’t expecting Y/N to be with us, I only have two harnesses. I can go find another?”

“No, it’s alright. That will take too long. Harness me up and I’ll carry her down with me.”

“Are you sure?” You say, anxiety rippling through you.

“Yeah, it’s not that far down. We’ll be fine.”

Layla gets her harness on then helps Marc get into his. As she's tightening his straps you see his eyes roll like they did before and notice his whole posture change again.

“I have to say, I feel like I’ve been waiting for this my whole life.” Steven's voice says as Layla helps him tighten the straps on his harness, completely unfazed by his changed accent. “The adventure, I mean.”

“We want what we’ve never had.” She finishes preparing his harness and gets ready. “I’m gonna go down first. Before I belay.”

“Right, yeah… what’s belay?” Steven asks, and Layla laughs.

“I still can’t tell when you're joking or not.” She says before clipping rope to the front of her harness and disappearing down the shaft. Steven looks at you.

“Belay?” He says, and you shrug.

“I have no idea.” You half laugh. “Are you sure you can do this?”

“It’ll be fine.” He says, not at all convincingly. He copies Layla, attaching the rope to the front of his harness then gestures for you to come over. You awkwardly put your arms around his neck and he lifts you. Its surprises you how strong he is. He cradles you to him and takes a breath before taking a step. But as he reaches the edge, his foot slips and you both tumble down into the darkness. Steven’s body acts as an air bag as he hits the ground, still holding you tightly. You land with a thud in a cloud of dust and sand. It takes you a moment to realise your lying on top of Steven, your face less than an inch away from his.

“Are you okay?” Layla asks, rushing over and helping you up.

“Yeah, I think so.” You reply, turning to give Steven a hand. “Steven?”

“I’m aces.” He says, grunting as he gets to his feet. “I wish you hadn’t seen that… oh wow, look at you.”

You look at him and realise he’s looking past you. You turn to see the huge ancient sculptures behind you, similar to the ones you used to see every day in the museum. Only these ones weren’t made out of polystyrene just to decorate an exhibition. This is the real deal.

“Oh yeah, they’re gorgeous.” Layla agrees. “Just standing guard for centuries!”

“Right! Look I can’t even…” Steven looks like all his Christmas came at once, he’s so excited. You can’t help but feel happy for him, and wonder if what Harrow said could be true. Could he really fake being this excited. “If they just sprang to life right now and asked me a riddle for passage I’d be thrilled! I’d shit myself, but id be thrilled.”

You and Layla exchange a look, silently laughing at the adorable dork in the room.

Once Steven finished fangirling over the reality of where you were right now, the three of you started to make your way further into the tomb.

“Strange.” Steven says quietly as you follow the winding corridors.

“It’s a maze.” Layla says.

“It’s a-maze-ing.” Steven jokes and you roll your eyes, but secretly want to laugh at his little pun. He is fully loving life right now.

“No, like there are six paths.” Layla explains. She bends down, picking up bullets left on the ground. “What would they be shooting at?”

“Six points.” Steven mumbles to himself, ignoring Layla's question about the bullets as he starts to draw something in the sand. “This whole structure is a symbol.”

You and Layla join Steven and look at what he’s drawn. You recognise it from one of the books in the museum.

“That’s the eye of Horus, right?” You ask.

“The royal symbol of protection in the afterlife.” Steven agrees.

“I mean, the resources needed to build this thing!” Layla realises, “Her final avatar was a pharaoh.”

“Woah!” Steven breathes “A bloody pharaoh!”

“You think it’s a map?” You ask.

“Yeah well… the eye of Horus is also the eye of mind yeah? Representing the six senses, six points. So you got the eyebrow that denotes thoughts. Pupil, sight, obviously. This point here is hearing. Smell. Touch. And this long line ending in a spiral is the tongue.”

“The avatar would be Ammit’s voice.” Layla suggests, and Steven nods.

“That’s right.”

You follow them further into the tomb, to a dark room with a sort of stone table in the middle. Layla shines her torch around the walls, revealing ancient drawings on them.

“Heka priests! Judging by their masks and ceremonial stance. They would have been entombed in here to protect the pharaoh. Sorcerers of their time. They’ve been down here for centuries.” She moves her torch to shine on mummified figures in the wall. “These must be some of the unlucky souls who crossed their path.”

You shine your torch at the stone table.

“Oh my God.” Steven gags. “Oh God, is that fresh blood? Little chunks of meaty bits?”

Layla crouches down to examine blood covered jars and tools before saying “Let’s keep moving.”

You start walking towards the exit but when Steven puts his arm out to stop you, you notice the blood trail leading to a pile of bones.

“Just a minute.” Steven says, any excitement he previously had now replaced by fear. “Im just stating what I see, and I see lots of bones and blood going that way. So I’m just thinking like, what if there’s another…” he shines his torch around the room, stopping and pointing up. “There’s an opening up there. You see that? Should we check it out?”

“Alright, you go.” Layla says and Steven starts climbing up to the platform. “Go with him? So he doesn’t fall again.” She asks you with a smirk and you nod. The floorboards creak as you pull yourself up, following Steven.

“So according to ancient text, Ammit should be bound to an ushabti, those statue thingies.” He says as you look around. Steven starts rambling again about all the amazing ancient things he’s seeing, but Layla reminds him he’s supposed to be looking for an exit. “Oh yeah, yeah we can go this way.”

The sound of guns firing makes you all jump.

“Harrow.” You whisper.

“What are they shooting at?” Steven asks.

“I don't know.” Layla starts, but stops when she hears a clicking sound.

“Hide, hide!” Steven frantically whispers as he helps you find somewhere to shelter. You peer over the side and see Layla duck down behind the stone table as a figure enters the room, dragging a body behind it. The thing lifts the body up onto the table and you realise it’s one of Harrow’s people, the male police officer. He’s half awake and groaning as the thing that dragged him in reaches over and picks up one of the sharp tools from the side. It lifts it in the air and plunges it down into the mans body with a squelch. You cover your mouth and look away, over at Steven who looks just as horrified. You look down at Layla, who is still crouched hiding by the table. Right by the jars that the creature has started putting the man’s organs into. She slowly starts to move around to the other side, away from them but she knocks into a jar, alerting the creature to her presence. Steven leans forward, closer to the edge to get a better look but the floorboard creaks under him. He freezes as the thing jumps up onto the table and then up to cling to the underside of the platform you are on. Steven starts to full panic as you look around for a way out, just as Layla launches a jar at the wall. It smashes, grabbing the creatures attention.

“Run! I’ll find you!” Steven yells down to Layla, who makes an escape out the room. “Help me.” He calls over to you and you help him push a table off the platform. It lands on the creature. “We squished it. We squished it!” He gasps, turning and hugging you in relief.

“Yeah we squished it, what exactly was it?” You say breathlessly.

“Heka priest. We should go before any more of them turn up.”

“There’s more of them?!”

Steven grabs your hand and pulls you through the exit. He leads you through more corridors, occasionally stopping to admire a sculpture or ancient drawing. Eventually you find yourselves in a large, magnificent room.

“Oh my days!” Steven gasps. “First ones here. Tomb fit for a pharoah. Its gotta be one of the bigguns.”

You just smile at him as he continues rambling in amazement at everything in the room. You have to admit, it is pretty impressive. But Steven is the real expert on all this stuff. You cross the stepping stones through the water to the middle of the room where the sarcophagus lies.

“Oh wow, look at that! Look at all these relics. Macedonian? No, what?” He crouches down to look at the inscriptions on the side of the sarcophagus. “No way. That can’t be right.”

“What is it?”

“That's Macedonian. But the only pharaoh…but he insisted on calling him self Egyptian.”

“Steven you're not making any sense. What are you saying?”

“I think were looking at the long lost tomb of Alexander the Great.”

“You're kidding?” You ask and he looks at you in amazement. You don't know why but you both start laughing. “Let's get it open.”

You both place your hands on the top, getting ready to push. Steven takes a few breaths then stops.

“Everything inside me is screaming not to open this thing.” He says.

“I know, but Harrow-”

“Alright, alright, alright.” He places his hands back on the top and takes a deep breath. You count to three then push with all your strength. The lid slides open to reveal a mummified corpse lying inside. Even though thats exactly what you expected to see, it still startled you that that is an actual dead person. The actual Alexander the Great.

“Right so, what are we looking for?” you ask.

“If you're gonna hide it for all eternity, you’d probably put it in a place where the average looter wouldn’t think to look.” He thinks. “Alexander was the voice of Ammit...”

You both look at the head, completely wrapped in cloth.

“You don't think…” you start, really hoping Steven isn’t about to suggest what you think he’s going to suggest. You really don't want to see what the body looks like underneath that cloth.

“I'm gonna try something.” He starts to remove the cloth from the head. “Sorry. Oh God, so sorry. Sorry Mr Great.”

The fabric rips revealing the Alexander’s skull, which Steven apologises to again before prying open its mouth and reaching inside. He searches deep inside the skull, gagging a few times before slowly pulling out the a small statue that looks like Ammit.

“Is that it? You got it?” You ask, hope rising that Harrow might not succeed.

“Yeah, yeah we got it.” Steven says with a smile. You smile back before you pull each other in for a hug. You pull apart when you hear footsteps and look to see Layla enter. “Layla look. We won!” He holds the ushabti in the air, a hug grin on his face. But Layla doesn’t smile. She looks likes she’s been crying.

“Are you okay?” You ask.

“Can he hear me?” She asks Steven, ignoring you completely. Now that she’s closer you can see she looks angry.

“Alexander? I don't think so.” Steven chuckles. “God, I hope not.”

“What happened to my father?” She says, getting closer to him. He looks baffled. “I’m talking to you... I’m talking to Marc!” She shoves him and he pauses, his eyes rolling back.

“Come on.” He says, his deep American voice is serious and he tries to pull Layla with him. “We need to go right now.”

“No!” Layla shakes him off. “What happened to my father?”

“Listen to me. We have to leave right now. I will explain everything, I swear. But we have to go!”

“Did you kill Abdullah El Faouly?” Layla asks and Marc pauses. A tense silence fills the air.

“I’m just gonna- I’ll give you a minute.” You say awkwardly as you back away towards the entrance Layla came in through.

“Stay close!” Marc calls to you and you nod before stepping just outside into the corridor. You can still hear their raised voices but at least you don't feel like a spectator to their private conversation now.

As you stand in the dark corridor, trying not to listen to the argument happening just a few feet away, you're suddenly aware that you're not alone. You spin around to see Harrow stood looking at you. He doesn’t look shocked to see you, but he does look disappointed. Like a parent that has just caught their child doing something wrong. You freeze, like a deer caught in headlights as his disciples start charging past you into the tomb, leaving you and Harrow alone. He doesn’t take his eyes off you.

“As disappointed as I am that you disobeyed my order, I am glad you are here to see me take my victory.”

He starts to move towards you and you bolt, trying to run past him to warn Layla and Marc. But he catches you, grabbing you by the arm and pulling you into the room himself. You’re surprised to find Marc left stood on his own, holding an axe, ready to fight. He falters slightly when he realises Harrow has hold of you. Harrow looks at Marc and smiles, before handing you over to Bobbi.

“Just you. The rest is silence.” He says as he takes a few slow steps towards Marc. “I remember the first morning I woke up knowing that Khonshu was gone. The quiet was liberating. You're a free man.” He walks closer to Marc. “And of course with that freedom comes choice. And right now you have a very important decision to make.”

“Okay.” Marc responds.

“No Marc, don’t!” You shout, causing Bobbi to tighten her grip on you and put her hand over your mouth.

Harrow glances at the disciples to the side of him, who start advancing on Marc, guns aimed at him. Marc just stands completely still until they get close enough then he starts his attack, easily taking out three of them. Harrow steps forward, raising a gun that you didn’t even see him holding and points it at Marc.

Before you have a chance to even try to fight, Harrow pulls the trigger. A bullet hits Marc straight in the chest. He stumbles backwards, pain on his face as his white shirt starts to stain red. You scream in Bobbi’s grasp and Harrow locks eyes with you for a moment before turning back and firing a second, fatal bullet at Marc. It hits, sending him falling backwards into the water.

“I can’t save anyone who won’t save themselves.” Harrow says as he watches Marc’s life’s body float in the water.

You manage to swing your arm around to hit Bobbi in the stomach, causing her to release her grip on you and you rush forward, past Harrow and straight into the water, pulling Marc's body up to cradle him.

“Steven?” You cry, not caring that the mix of water and bloody is soaking into your clothes. “Steven please. Wake up, please.”

Harrow comes up behind you, placing a hand on your shoulder but you instantly push him away.

“Get off me!” You shout, Harrow looks completely unfazed. “Stay away from me! You're a murderer!”

“We must move on.” he holds his hand out to you.

“No! I’m not leaving him.” You argue. “I would rather die than go anywhere with you!”

For the briefest moment you think Harrow almost looks hurt by your statement. But then his face changes again.

“I can see you’re upset, you're not in your right mind.”

“Oh my mind is perfectly right.” You say as you stand up, face to face with Harrow. “I never want to see you again.” You say through gritted teeth before turning your back on him and returning to Marc’s side.

“This is your last chance Y/N.” He warns, and you ignore him. “Very well.” 

Suddenly two pairs of hands grasp yours arm, yanking you up to your feet as two disciples drag you away kicking and screaming out of the water and hold you as Harrow and two disciples go to Steven’s body.

“Don't you dare touch him!” Your shout falling on deaf ears as the disciples drag Steven out of the water. Harrow crouches down beside him as the disciple hands him Ammit’s ushabti. He smiles before looking at Steven. 

“I’m sorry it had to be this way, Marc Spector, Steven Grant…” he pauses as he places the scarab beetle on Steven’s chest “whoever else might be in there.” He uses his cane to help him stand back up and turns to face the crowd of disciples, but his focus is on you. “Sometimes we need the cold light of death before we can see reality.”

You struggle against the hands that have you restrained but they just hold you tighter, forcing you down to your knees to bow as Arthur holds the ushabti high for everyone to see. 

You hear the sound of footsteps as someone runs into the room. For a moment you feel hope as you think it could be Layla with a plan to stop him, but when you see Maya run up to Harrow the hope quickly dies. 

“Harrow, sir, I am so so sorry.” She rambles breathlessly. “I was trying to find you, to warn you, but I got lost in these tunnels.” She pauses, looking at him with sad eyes. “I’ve failed you.” 

“Yes, you have.” He says, completely emotionless as he turns his attention away from her. From the look on her face you can tell her heart has just broken. She backs away from him and stands alone near the wall.

“Who wants to heal the world?”

The disciples around you get up and start making their way back out of the tomb. Harrow starts walking over towards you but suddenly stops when he hears Maya following.

“Not you.” He says, not even turning to face her. 

“S-sir..?” She says, confusion on her face. 

“This is the end for you.” He reaches into his pocket and before Maya has a chance to register whats happening he turns and shoots her in the chest with the same gun he killed Steven with. You gasp and try to get to her slump as she slumps painfully to the ground, but the disciples holding you keep you firmly in place, still kneeling on the floor.

“Why- why did you do that?!” A sob escaping your throat as Harrow comes to stand by you. “She was just a young girl!!”

“She let him get to you. She put you in danger… I can’t have that.”

“The only reason I’m in danger is because of you!” You say shakily and Harrow looks down at you. He doesn’t say anything, he just reaches his hand down to wipe the tears from under your eyes. Then he walks past you, gesturing for the disciples to follow. As they harshly pull you up to your feet, you can’t take your eyes off of Maya’s lifeless body. Her glossy eyes staring at you as they drag you away, leaving her forever resting in the tomb of Alexander the Great.

Part Six

Taglist :  @sleepylunarwolf / @ahookedheroespureheart / @sleepyamaya / @spicydonut25 / @kult6 / @uncle-eggy / @malaanii/ @toracainz / @pinkiestwinkie / @galacticstxrdust / @mateihavenoidea / @xmariakx / @oscarissac2099 / @whycantwebefriendz / @parkeepingparker

(If you want to be added/removed on the tag list please let me know, but note that I can’t reply to comments from this blog)

[myluvrrhea]

Moonlight on a river 2/2

Pairings - Damian priest x Fem!Reader

Word count - 0.7k

Warning - Hurt/Confort, Fluff/ Angst

NOT PROOFREAD. Part 1

Damians POV

I walked into The Judgment Day’s locker room, getting ready for my match. But I noticed the atmosphere felt different. Dom and Finn were mostly quiet. They were never this way before?

“Guys tell me whats up why are you two so quiet?” I asked.

Dominik scratched his head as Finn opened his mouth to answer me.

“Look man we’ll talk after the promo,” Finn and Dominik both walked past me as I stared at them in shock.

After the promo , me , Finn , and Dominik walked back stage. Back to our locker room. I tried not to let my confusion get into the way of the promo, but I ofter found myself zoning out whole thinking about it. They had never acted this way towards me , so what made their feelings change? 

I sat down on the locker room bench as I waited for Finn and Dominik to talk.

“Look we know about the Y/N situation..,” Dominik spoke first.

“And we dont think what you did was valid man , I mean did you know what happened to her mom that day, and the fact you put the weight of a breakup on her is just cruel..” Finn chimed in.

I felt confused. 

“What happened with her mom?” I asked.

Dominik sighed as he began to speak.

“She got into a car crash — A drunk driver is what she said.” 

“Look the only reason we know this is because Rhea told us about. After she texted Rhea about the breakup, and she repeated what you said— she just broke down man,” Dominik had a sour look on his face , meanwhile Finn turned away from them both.

Then the realization hit me. Thats why her eyes were so red. She had been carrying a hard weight in her shoulder. And when I broke up with her , that was just the cherry in top. A heavy weight of guild filled my mind as Finn and Damian told me what had happened. By the end , I knew I had to talk to her. Make things right. That was the least I could do, I thought to myself.

Your POV

I layed in bed , curled up as a thick blanket covered my body, when I heard a key unlock the front door. My face morphed into confusion as I sat up from my curled up position in the bed. Soon enough I heard the door to now my own bedroom creak open. I felt my stomach drop as I saw a worried face. His face.

End of your Pov

He didn’t understand how you felt until he saw it. When Damian had walked into the bedroom , he first saw your worried and confused expression. Your eyes were bloodshot red and had darker spots under your eyes. 

“W-why are you here?” You asked. Your voice was shakey. Fragile. Like you could break any minute.

As you looked down, Damian came closer to your sitting figure. His hands found its place on both sides of your head. Making you look up at him. 

“I came to apologize. I didn’t know it was this bad — and I really messed up. I just want you to know it was a mistake. Ive been a mess these few days and I thought about coming back.. I did and when Dom and Finn told me what happened I knew I had to come back”.

“I know i messed up, just please ill do better this time. Im so sorry.” He finally completed his rambling as a tear rolled down onto your cheek.

“I don’t know if I could trust you so easily, b-but ill try. I just need you to regain my trust. Day by day.” You replied as  Damian blinked away the tears that threatened to drop from his eyes.

“I wanna make it up to you even if its little.” He said.

He opened his mouth to speak again. “Cmon let’s go eat dinner , and we could take a bth if you would like to?” 

I nodded as a sign of okay , and he went downstairs to get the food for us ready. A small smile found its way to my face as I finally felt joy enter my body. I was happy to finally have Damian back. You felt better already.

A/N 💬 - Im sorry this is kinda short!! But im trying to get requests done im sorry for how late its going just know im trying 💕

[ga-yuu]

----Part 1----

(It's Shigehira-kun and Morinaga-san. They seem to be looking for me)

The moment I squirmed, I felt the two arms holding me a little tightly.

Sueharu: "Don't go."

(Sueharu-san?)

While letting out a painful sigh, he buried his head in my shoulder.

I was confused at his indulgent actions.

Yoshino: "Mm....."

I felt a sweet bite on my neck.

Sueharu: "If those two see us like this, they might misunderstand our relationship."

His voice resonates in my ear and my head went blank.

Yoshino: "If....If you think...then s-stop..."

He kissed me where he had bitten earlier and started pecking my skin over and over again...

(Mm...I must not let my voice ah...)

I looked at him feeling desperate.

Then he covered my mouth with one hand...

Yoshino: "Mm..mm..."

I then feel his tongue running over my earlobe.

Disturbed by the wetness, my body loses its strength.

Sueharu: "Haa....you're so cute. It only makes me want to corner you even more."

------Options-------

If you go on like this...

Stop.

Please.

---------

Yoshino: "P-Please.....I'm already...."

Sueharu: "There there. Hold on a little longer."

When I begged him, Sueharu-san looks at me lovingly.

But his eyes had a cat like glint as if he was cornering his prey.

Morinaga: "Don't worry. She must be somewhere around here. Let's wait."

Shigehira: "Okay."

Finally, we heard them walking away.

(Thank god!)

I felt so relieved that I almost fell down, but Sueharu-san supported me.

Sueharu: "Looks like we didn't get caught."

Yoshino: "E-Enough!...When I said I wanted to help you ease up, I didn't mean this."

Sueharu: "Mm. I know....but thanks."

His voice, that felt slightly hoarse, made me sad.

(This person is so sneaky)

Feeling irritated, I moved away from Sueharu-san's arms.

Sueharu: "It's true that your warmth calms me down."

Yoshino: "....That's fine. But next time, if you feel uncomfortable, please try talking."

Yoshino: "It doesn't have to be with me....if you keep your feelings inside, it will affect you both mentally and physically."

Sueharu: "It's will affect both mentally and physically huh? I see."

Sueharu: "I'll keep that in mind."

He stroked my hair gently...as if he didn't want to let go of my warmth and left the room.

...........

That same night, we left for Hiraizumi with the orphans.

Few days later...

We arrived at Hiraizumi city, and the first thing we did is immediately go to the temple supported by Sueharu-san.

Sueharu: "These are the children I told you about."

-----Part 2-----

Sueharu: "These are the children I told you about."

Chief priest: "I see. I see....don't worry, we'll take good care of them in this temple."

(The chief priest seems kind)

We decided to have few people accompany the orphans who are frightened of adults.

Benkei and Shigehira-kun were waiting outside.

Sueharu: "How are the other children?"

Chief priest: "Thanks to you, they're living healthy. Their wounds are healing and soon they will go back to their normal life."

(So this temple actively protects abused children, right?)

Sueharu: "That's good. Thank you for your services."

The chief priest nodded with a smile.

Sueharu: "Yoshino. Can you bring those kids?"

Yoshino: "Yes."

I looked at the children, hiding behind by back.

I crouched down and looked at them.

Yoshino: "Don't worry. This is a safe place, so take some rest."

Yoshino: "I'm not telling you all to forget what happened just like that but..."

Yoshino: "From now on, you will all be happy. I want you all to remember that."

Orphan 1: "Will.....onee-chan also be here?"

Those words made my heart ache.

Yoshino: "....Forgive me. But I'll be away for a while and won't come back anytime soon."

(Because I belong to the Shogunate and this is the enemy territory)

Yoshino: "But I'll definitely come see you again."

Orphans: "............"

I could see the children closing their hearts as they look down in disappointment.

Yoshino: ".....Sueharu-san, don't you wanna say anything?"

Sueharu: "I don't know."

Sueharu: "I don't know what to say."

(....Nn)

Both Sueharu-san and the children looked at each other.

The children flinched.

Sueharu: "..........."

(Sueharu-san was extremely angry when he first found the children)

(It was an anger directed towards the adults who used orphans for cruel bets...)

The children still feels scared of Sueharu-san's presence.

Sueharu: "You guys will have a health life here. I've already paid for that."

Sueharu: "That's all I can do for you."

Sueharu-san's voice feels stiff.

(Because of the same circumstances, Sueharu-san may not be able to act as calmly as usual)

We left the place while feeling worried about the children.

........

The sun soon started to set when we reached our next destination.

Sueharu: "Finally! We're here."

-----Part 3----

Sueharu: "Finally! We're here."

(The whole atmosphere is different from the Shogunate. What a magnificent mansion!)

We crossed the bridge and went through the gate.

Yoshino: "I feel kinda nervous..."

Shigehira: "It's the enemy territory after all. So it's natural."

While walking down the hallway, when I expressed my honest feelings, Shigehira-kun shrugged.

Benkei: "Yoshino. Shigehira. You guys are now Yoshitsune-sama's guests."

Benkei: "But there are restrictions on where you can go around this mansion. You are also forbidden to use any weapons and supernatural powers."

Shigehira: "Understood."

Sueharu: "You don't have to think too hard. You'll feel comfortable here."

Yoshino: "Is this mansion build by Yoshitsune-sama?"

Sueharu: "No. This was originally the mansion of the Oshu Fujiwara clan who previously ruled this area."

Sueharu: "After they perished, Yoshitsune-sama rebuilded it."

Shigehira: "I heard that....it was Sueharu-san that brought Oshu Fujiwara Clan and Yoshitsune-sama together."

Sueharu: "I guess it was something like that."

Sueharu-san narrowed his eyes as if he remembered something.

Sueharu: "While on a business trip, I just happened to meet Yoshitsune-sama."

Sueharu: "I brought him to Hiraizumi thinking that it would be an investment for a huge business deal."

Sueharu: "But never did I think that our relationship would last this long."

Benkei: "What the hell do you mean by that!? Having any kind of relationship with Yoshitsune-sama is worth more than money."

Sueharu: *sighs*"...I have no energy left to fight with a Yoshitsune-sama worshipper."

Benkei glared as Sueharu-san sighed.

Yoshino: "From your perspective, what kind of person is Yoshitsune-sama?"

Sueharu: *sighs*

Unusally, Sueharu-san is sighing a lot today.

(I wonder what he is like?)

Benkei: "Well, it's only naturally that Yoshitsune-sama's charm cannot be expressed in words. I understand."

Sueharu: "Benkei, shut up. Please don't make this any more complicated."

Sueharu: "He's just my customer."

Shigehira: "I don't think he is just a customer."

Shigehira: "If all you think about is profit, there is no reason why you would continue to be by Yoshitsune-sama's side even after he was banished by Yoritomo."

(I'm sure they must have formed some kind of bond after being together for a long time, right?)

Sueharu: "There is something about his pretty face that I don't like."

-----Part 4-----

Sueharu: "There is something about his pretty face that I don't like."

Shigehira: "It's not about the face!"

Shigehira-kun frowns.

Sueharu: "Yoshitsune-sama is a bit strange."

Yoshino: "Strange?"

Sueharu: "There are people in this world who won't go according to your calculations."

Sueharu: "I learned that from Yoshitsune-sama after I met him. As merchant, it's something I didn't want to know.'"

Benkei: "It can't be helped. Yoshitsune-sama is special after all."

Sueharu: "See this!? Look what he has done to Benkei. This is what I'm talking about. The fact that Yoshitsune-sama can't even fake a smile, fascinates people. His charms are out of this world."

Shigehira: "....I don't understand."

(Right...for me, the terrifying first impression is still fresh in my mind. I don't think anything will change that)

Yoshino: "Is Sueharu-san also facinated by Yoshitsune-sama?"

Sueharu: "Of course not. For my honor sake, do you think I would let that happen?"

Sueharu: "But then there times when he would look at me with those eyes..."

Sueharu: "When I see those eyes, all the calculations I make messes up."

(Yoritomo-sama captivates everyone with his perfect Shogun demeanor...)

(Maybe Yoshitsune-sama attracts people in a different way...)

Shigehira: "......"

Even Shigehira-kun was silent, as if he was thinking of something.

Sueharu: "Everyone in this mansion spoils Yoshitsune-sama. A lot."

Benkei: "Huh?"

Sueharu: "These guys even praise Yoshitsune-sama for breathing."

Yoshino: "Ehh."

Just then-----

???: "Did someone call me?"

Shigehira: ".....!"

(That voice)

Yoshitsune: "Benkei. Sueharu....welcome back."

Sueharu: "Hi, Yoshitsune-sama."

Benkei: "I'm home!"

Yoshitsune-sama who appeared from the corner, approaches quietly.

Yoshitsune: "Yoshino and Shigehira. I never thought I would be inviting you two here, but----"

Yoshitsune: "Let me know if you have any inconvenience while staying here."

Yoshino: "...Yes. Thank you."

(Although he looks impressive, he may not be a bad person)

Shigehira: "Thank you for taking care of us."

-----Part 5-----

Shigehira: "Thank you for taking care of us."

Yoshitsune: "If possible, I hope you could share some of your war stories during dinner, Shigehira."

Yoshitsune-sama nodded with an expressionless face.

(Now that I think about it, Benkei did say...)

(Yoshitsune-sama had taken an interest in me and he told me to ask him when I meet him face to face...)

Yoshitsune: "Yoshino."

Yoshino: "Y-Yes."

The amethyst eyes looks at me intently as if he read my mind.

Yoshitsune: "I want you to tell me stories about Sueharu."

Sueharu: "Ha?"

Yoshino: "What do you mean?"

Yoshitsune: "I received Benkei's report and it stated that the distance between you and Sueharu has shortened."

(EEHHHH!?)

Sueharu: "Benkei!?"

Benkei: "What? It's the truth."

Benkei declared confidently.

Shigehira: "....I agree. Even I could feel the raging sexual tension between the both of you during our trip here."

Yoshino: "O-Of course not! ......I think."

(Sueharu-san has been messing with me everyday now that I've grown numb to it)

Yoshino: "We did work together and also spend a lot of time together for various reasons..."

Yoshino: "But it's nothing that Yoshitsune-sama should worry about."

(I know you don't want Sueharu-san, your ally, to not get involved with me, right?)

Yoshitsune: "Sueharu is a really cautious man."

Yoshitsune: "That's why, it's difficult to find people who would get into his heart."

Sueharu: "Wait. Can you please stop saying weird things, again?"

Sueharu-san, tries to stop Yoshitsune-sama's words.

Yoshitsune: "Weird? Did I say anything weird?"

Yoshitsune-sama tilted his head with a straight face.

(I think I understand little by little, the relationship between these two)

Yoshitsune: "Sueharu has had affairs with many women. But I have never seen him feeling something special for someone."

Shigehira: "Woah."

Sueharu: "You don't even listen to people. Didn't I say that if I get a girlfriend, I'll only end up making her cry?"

Yoshino: "It's refreshing to see someone like Sueharu-san is not being sarcastic as usual..."

Benkei: "Hey, I think you should calm down a bit."

While everyone expressed their own opinion, Yoshitsune-sama continues speaking calmly.

Yoshitsune: "Sueharu is my benefactor, so I want him to be happy."

(Yoshitsune-sama....)

Sueharu: "..........."

Yoshitsune: "If there is someone in this world who could pry open his heart then it would be all joy for me."

Yoshitsune: "That's why, Yoshino."

Yoshitsune: "I don't want you to take part in the Great War."

Yoshino: "Eh...!?"

Chapter 18

[the-scottish-costume-guy]

I'm about to go edit a transcript for my research but I've been thinking a lot about people who are gone, versions of ourselves that are gone, and I wanted to have a ramble about fragmented memories of another time. I was raised roman catholic until my cousin (who I view as more of a brother) died when I was 14. I went to church on sundays, I had several of my sacramants - only missing my confirmation (aside form you know, stuff like marriage). I started to realise I might be queer long before I left the church, though I didn't always have words for what I was thinking and feeling. The priest I had grown up with was eccentric to say the least, prone to bouts of anger but also compassionate. I'm not sure what his personal issues were, but they manifested as a very changeable personality. I have trouble remembering faces sometimes, but for some reason I can really picture his... But not from church. When I remember him, its from the times there was a problem with out boiler and he came over to help fix it (he used to be a plumber). I also remember going to his house to talk to him about uncertainty in my faith and things like that... He was always quite open and understanding. I was never confirmed, because I chose a male saints name. I've long since realised I'm Trans, but I argued long and hard about being able to pick a boys name for my confirmation and my school was against it, my parents were against it, the broader church community was against it. Only my priest supported the idea. He said he was happy to do it. Nobody would let him, and a year later he was asked to step down in his position within the church. I have no evidence that was because of me, but it felt like I probably didn't help.

I've had problems with faith since, with people using it as a weapon, as a reason to be cruel to others. I simply can't believe in any form of God anymore, and I'm okay with that - just like i'm okay with other people having that belief. But whenever I think about what religion should be I think back to my old priest - who had once told me that God had made me just the way I was, and I should never be ashamed of that creation. Who had been willing to call me by a mans name long before anyone else I knew. Just thoughts...

[theshippirate22]

okay here’s a concept we need to look into here-

I’m thinking 1910’s, 1920’s Fem!Crowley. Mostly because the thought of David Tennant in a flapper dress and eyeliner makes me absurdly happy.

Regardless, Flapper Crowley with her little bob and her cigarette holder thing and those weird headbands like she could so so so so rock it

And her and Aziraphale go out some sundays for brunch at the Ritz if there’s “business” to talk about but really they just gossip over quiche and she parties as much as she possibly can. She was busy, last decade, after all (you know, it was her who gave the Zimmerman Telegram to America and got all caught up in the drama with Belgium) and sometimes when she’s had enough, she finds herself in the bookshop, thrown particularly unladylike and particularly snakelike in whatever armchair is closest to what Aziraphale’s doing and she goes on about petty human drama and whatever other nonsense she can think of.

And really, it’s quite nice. been the best decade she’s had in a good long while and everything is great.

Everything except Harold.

Harold Kensington is the heir to… something. Maybe railroads? Maybe banks? Maybe ladders? Crowley has no fucking idea because she’s never listened to a word he’s said.

Which is easier said than done, given the fact that he won’t seem to shut up around her. Usually she goes out to have a drink or ten at some billionaire’s house and then she comes back to the bookshop so Aziraphale can scold her for it but make her coffee so her head doesn’t hurt after she miracles the alcohol away.

But she can’t even do that anymore because it doesn’t matter where she’s at, Harold will find her. And then no matter what happens, he’ll follow after her like a lovesick puppy for the rest of the night and she can’t have any fun because everything thinks he’s her husband. Which is. Just insulting.

“He’s really not so bad,” Aziraphale told her after his first encounter with him. “I’m afraid I feel bad for him.”

Crowley shifts uncomfortably in her arm chair, pulling out a book wedged into her lower back and tossing it carelessly to the side, which earned her a dirty look from its owner. “Feel bad for me, Angel. I’m the one that’s being harassed.”

”I suppose you’re right…”

“I’ll be humane about it! The car will come out of nowhere. He won’t know what hit him!”

“Crowley, you will not kill that man!”

“I’ve got to do something!” She whined. “Can’t you… put the fear of God in him or something?”

“How would I even do that?”

“Convince him hes…. he’s got to be a priest! A monk! In… Nepal or someplace!”

“Haven’t you tried telling him you’re not interested?”

“Only every. single. time. he comes to speak to me. I promise there is no interpretation that I’m leading him on! I got a commendation from Beelzebub last month for something I’d said to him! He doesn’t seem to care!”

“You know, why don’t you just tell him you’re already married? He’s a respectable man, he ought to leave you alone if he knows you’re taken.”

“Married to who, Angel? I’m never with any other men ever. I’m just going to pull a husband out of thin air?”

“You’re with me all the time.”

“You’re want me to tell him we’re married.” It should’ve been a question, but it felt more exasperated than anything.

Aziraphale took his glasses off to clean them, or maybe to make his eye roll less noticeable. “I’m quite sure fear of man would do you much better than fear of God.”

She never spoke of Harold again. Aziraphale chose to believe this was because she’d taken his word for it and he’d been right, and she wasn’t overeager to admit that. This was, in fact, confirmed after nearly three Harold-less months.

Aziraphale was out to get breakfast and a newspaper and he’d run into Harold Kensington (figuratively) a few blocks from the shop. They’d passed through some stilted small talk- they had only met a grand total of twice, after all- until suddenly Harold said, “Look after her.”

Aziraphale floundered a moment before answering decidedly, “She doesn’t need me to look after her.”

Harold contemplated this. “I know that. Do it anyway. She deserves it.”

Brunch at the Ritz became a monthly occurrence.

[slightlyaboveaverageiq]

A Black Rose Among Sunflowers (part 1)

A/N: Okay so a couple things 1. this story is dark, not dark!Reid but part mentions of CSA, childhood sexual abuse, alcohol addiction, PTSD from the CSA, abusive relationships, and domestic violence. The story while also have allusions to dark smutty books such as Haunting Adeline and other books ive read and those come with their own trigger warning so you may want to look at those before reading this. Also we don't kink shame anyone who likes these things CONSENSUALLY and who are above the age of 18. You do you baby boos, that being said minors DNI.

Word Count 2.2k

I bit my lip and gently pushed my key in the lock, it was late, later than I had originally told Casey i would be but with any luck he would have drank himself into oblivion and I would just be able to sneak in. The lights were all out and I breathed a sigh of relief as I pushed the door shut quietly behind me, freezing as the click of the lock seemed to echo through the apartment. I walked down the hallway and placed my keys on the counter not wanting to take the chance of the sound of metal hitting glass waking Casey up. I walked into the kitchen and rolled my eyes seeing the dirty dishes from what I presumed to be just enough dinner to keep him from throwing up like a sloppy drunk but not enough to take his buzz away. Checking the fridge I confirmed my suspicions that he didn't make enough for two, I would probably get some drunken rambling about “If you just cared about me as much as your slut stories we might have dinner together everyone once in a while.” Well maybe if I wasnt subjected to mediocre sex that lasted all of seven minutes with someone who didn't smell like a damn distillery I might not need to live in the world of make believe smutty daddies. I mean honestly who wants to just have their cervix poked awkwardly while their boyfriend completely misses their clit and then gets mad they didnt get off?

“You’re late Addie.” I stilled at the sound of his voice and the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Casey had stayed up waiting for me several times and it always led to a confrontation, usually just ending in words being exchanged, maybe a broken glass or two thrown by either one of us, and a ‘whore’ followed by a ‘fuck you’ and me slamming the door and walking to Gabriella (my sister’s house) to sleep for the night. But this…no the energy was off tonight his voice was condescendly sweet and his hands trailed along the back of my neck but the pressure suggested this wasn’t out of concern. No, he was absolutely livid but yet he was calm as a priest and all of the alarm bells went off in my brain.

“I…I lost track of time. And when i saw how late it was i just thought-”

“Thought i would forget and be asleep? Thought Casey’s probably already passed out cold so i might as well just keep doing whatever the fuck I want? Even though I’m in a goddamn relationship and should be at home?” I shivered and moved to step around him but his hand closed around the back of my scalp tightly, my blue tinted hair being ripped out by the root. A sharp cry left my mouth and I instantly clapped a hand over my mouth but it was already too late. Casey had heard it and that meant so had potentially the neighbors, and Casey sure as hell wasn’t going back to jail. A harsh slap came across my cheek and I fell to the ground. I raised my head to look at him but all I got was a faceful of the bottom of his work boots before a sickening squelsh was heard as it made contact with my eye. I'm actually pretty sure the toe of his boot got stuck in my eye goop for a second. Gross. 

“One of us has to pay the rent, and we know damn well it’s not going to be you.” Why the hell did my adhd and my inability to filter my thoughts have to make its appearance right now? Apparently my brain just doesn't understand the idea of self preservation because instead of making a break for the door in Casey’s moment of stunned silence I just stood there staring him down like I’m 6’2” instead of 5’2”. I always joked with my sister Gabriella that men couldnt hurt me because of our father, that a 6 '1'' 200 something pound man beating the shit out of a 6 year old and me surviving meant i could square up with anyone. Like an older sister would be she was mortified and tried to get me to see reason. Mainly: No Adrienne just because you survived horrific child abuse does NOT mean you should go out seeking conflict with grown men just to prove yourself. Alas, my sister got all of the common sense and I got all of the anger issues which has led to my current predicament.

“The FUCK did you just say to me you stupid bitch?” Come on brain do something don’t just have me stand here like a fucking idiot. Casey reached for me but I dodged out of the way picking up one of the sausage pokers (is that what they're called? Whatever the prong looking kitchen utensil you shove inside meat to flip it over, I'd rather shove it up Casey’s meat though). He paused for a moment before he let out a hearty laugh and to be honest if this were a scene in a movie I would probably be laughing too, like what kind of dumb bitch picks up a sausage poker instead of KNIFE when they're in the middle of a domestic assault in their kitchen? “Come on little love, we both know you're not going to do anything with that. Put it down and be a good girl and suck my cock and I might not leave too many bruises' ' I felt my stomach twist at his words and was instantly thrown back to an eerily similar conversation with my father when I was 9. 9 year old little me who couldnt fight back when he would beat me black and blue with a belt, little 9 year old me that couldnt fight back as he savagely raped me because ‘this is how daddies show their love now be a good little girl and suck my cock’

“Fuck off Casey…just just get out.” He was walking closer to me and my blue eyes widened seeing that 1. His pupils were huge and 2. Casey had an erection. Ew, who the hell gets turned on being threatened to be stabbed is this like the backwards version of Haunting Adeline? Only it's not a gun going up a pussy, it's a sausage poker going..well anywhere i can get him really. He walked closer to me again and I swung the poked at him. “I said get out you cunt” His eyes narrowed and he lunged at me, I closed my eyes and moved the poker forward and twisted when i felt it come in contact with his skin. OH GOD I was twisting around the muscle inside Casey’s leg. I watched him fall to the ground and thankfully I gained a brain cell in the process and practically ripped my door off the hinges fleeing in the process. Not paying attention to where my legs were taking me just wanting to put as much distance between Casey and myself in case he magically became the hulk and ran after me. I sighed when I saw the 24/7 cafe Lilianna’s appear in my vision. I threw the door open and I'm sure I looked a sight because Lilliana dropped the latte she was pouring causing the customer to frown and turn to see what could have caused the beverage to be spilled.

“Adrienne-” I was about to brush her off but the man was already standing and held my chin in his hand forcing my chin up so he could look at my eye, or whatever was left of it and dear sweet jesus I’m pretty sure this man is what inspires the smutty authors because he is both delicious and terrifying. 

“What happened?” His voice was low and gravelly, obviously physically and judging by the cold calculatedness in his eyes probably emotionally exhausted. His hazel eyes stared into mine, at least they looked hazel blood pouring out of your eye really fucks up you vision. Some kind of badge and gun situated on his right hip, ah law enforcement then, no wonder he jumped up so quickly. For a moment I thought about lying but something about his face suggested it would be a bad idea.

“Dr. Reid if I may…Casey Thomas is a nasty piece of work, that's her boyfriend.” Lilliana’s voice was soft but also strangled, poor woman I was going to have to buy multiple coffees for the rest of my life to make up for the trauma I'm sure I just caused her to witness. His eyebrows raised in a silent question and I nodded my head because apparently shock is you know a thing and I’m fairly certain I'm slipping into it now that the adrenaline has worn off. 

“Let’s go.” In hindsight I probably should have fought harder to stay with Lilliana because even though this cop has the credentials of a man he's still..well a man and I'm definitely at a disadvantage with my blooded eye and my now bleeding scalp. Should’ve taken the poker with me, I read somewhere if you take impaled objects out, well damn i probably kept the fucker alive keeping it in there. I couldn't help the chuckle that came out of my mouth and Dr. Reid looked down at me worriedly.

“Don’t worry doc im not delirious from blood loss, I was just thinking about how I kept the sausage poker shoved in Casey’s thigh and so I’m probably the only reason that fucker didnt bleed out.” I really probably should've just kept my mouth shut because I don't know how close to a confession that could be to attempted murder and I just admitted that to a cop. A pretty cop but a cop nonetheless. I gave him directions to my apartment and he walked up the stairs, gun drawn, I'm sure he was prepared for a lethal Casey, and to be honest so was I. I waited in the car for him and 15 minutes later he reappeared talking to someone on the phone.

“I’m with her now Em. I'll let you know when I know more. …Yeah her apartment is like two down from mine so you know the address. …Alright see you soon.” He disconnected the call and a tired sigh came out of his mouth before he ran his hands through his unruly hair. “My name is Spencer Reid, I work for the BAU. That was my boss Emily, they're coming to check out your apartment. Casey wasn't there.” I felt a shiver wrack through my body out of fear or just exhaustion I don't know. “I’ll need to take your statement about what happened tonight, but let’s get you cleaned up first.” I nodded and he opened the car door for me and started leading me up the stairs just as black SUVs with flashing blue and red lights appeared in the parking lot.

“Reid!” We both turned around at the voice and a dark brunette woman in a power suit got out of the driver's side and walked over, her hard expression faltering slightly when she saw my bloodied face but it was quickly replaced by a cold, stoic expression. So this must be Emily, definitely a bombshell powerhouse, good for her, fuck the patriarchy and all that jazz.

“This is Adreinne-”

“I’m Adrienne Wilson, even though I guess I resemble something out of a horror film right now. My uh…my boyfriend was drunk and angry that I got back so late, he was waiting for me and I'm sure his boot is now covered in my eye juice. Should've shoved the poker up his sausage but I really didn't want to see that…oh shit can I go to jail for that?” Emily and Spencer both looked at me with a mixture of concern and amusement in their eyes.

“I didn't hear anything. Spencer said he would look you over while we collect evidence from your apartment. Would you like a female member of our team to go with you?” Yes probably should have been the logical answer but I found myself squeezing his hand tighter and slightly hiding behind his larger frame. Emily looked from me, to Spencer, back to me. “Understandable, Reid, bring her back to the office once you get her cleaned up.” He nodded and with a gentle yet firm hand on my lower back he led me to his apartment. I smiled seeing all the books cluttering the area. He disappeared into the bathroom and reappeared with both a soapy cloth and just a warm wet one. He gently cleaned the blood off my face and frowned when he saw my eye.

“You’ll definitely have a black eye but i don't feel any broken bones, can you see how many fingers i’m holding up?” I nodded and answered “Any cloudiness, black spots, halos, or double vision?” I shook my head no.

“Do you think I could…I could take a shower?” I didn't even recognize my own voice. It sounded so small and scared. 

“Your apartment will be unavailable at least until tomorrow…you could use my shower if you wanted though.” I nodded and followed him down the hallway. He showed me the bathroom and gave me a fluffy towel along with a t- shirt and sweatpants before closing the door quietly leaving me alone with just my thoughts.

[everestica]

Late Night Headcannons: Part 19: Akito Shinonome (Again thank you to the amazing @noverenia for this amazing prompt<3)

- After Akito proposed to you if was about a couple years before you had thought about having a wedding, it was a little nervewracking thinking about what your wedding would be like. You were also freaking about because you wanted it to be perfect and you just wanted both of you to be happy with it, Akito definitely had to calm you down a couple time while talking about it. You both agreed on having a small wedding with just your families and a couple of you friends, it was just easier and both you and him wouldn’t have to many people to invite anyway (lol). Once figuring that out it was time to find the perfect theme for the wedding, there was a bunch of back and forth talk but you two decided on just going on a normal theme, just plan white. (If you want you can also change it, I’m not going into to much detail about the wedding venue and outfits<3). Then the two of you went your separate ways to find the perfect dress/tux/really anything else. Once that was all taken care of and it was the day of the wedding and everything at the venue was set up just the way that the two of you had planned sitting on your shared bed. In the brides room (okay I haven’t been to a wedding in years and the last one I went on was on a boat :,/ so if its not a brides room then I’m sorry 😞) Anyway, you were getting cold feet, and not because you weren’t sure about marrying Akito, it had been mentioned multiple times even before proposing to you, the nickname, Mrs/Mr/Mx. Shinonome had definitely came up when he was trying to be flirty with you in the past, but this was the real thing. When it was finally time for you to walk down the isle, you were really nervous, and so was Akito just looking at him before he saw you, but as soon as you made eye contact, it was like all the worry had vanished and you were now ready. When you walked up to your (Future) Husband, the only thing he could say was, “wow” he had never seen you this dressed up, well there is a couple exceptions but still, not like this. After the priest finished what he was saying and you two had already went through the vows and all that great stuff, he did the “I do’s” and the kiss that happened after was the most full of love kiss that the two of you had ever shared. Akito was normally a passionate lover in private, but never like this. After the wedding and it was the reception, Kohane and An walked up to you two congratulating you, and then pulling you to the side, Akito was confused at first but he did own Kohane and An for you, those were the two that had needed up getting you two together anyway. As soon as your Husband had left the area to go talk to his sister and Toya, they had immediately asked you what you were gonna do with your last name, you told them you weren’t so sure at first and you would have to talk about it later with Akito. A couple months later you and your husband decided to invite An, Kohane, and Toya out to dinner as a little get together. When they got there and the person at the front asked who the resvervation was under you proudly said “Shinonome, [Name]”. After the found it and took you two your table An, and Kohane started fangirling HARD lol, but at the end of the day you couldn’t have been more happy to have been married to the love of your life, finally taken the last name, and became an official member of the Shinonome family.<3

[warmaidensrevenge]

Eddie... honey

Pairing:Papa!Eddie Munson x plus!size reader

If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

Authors note: I was working on this for a bit. I seem to have a bit of a writers block on this next chapter. So I apologize if its not everything its cracked up to be. So without further ado here she is. 

Warnings:18+ Smut, language, arguing, heart ache and not proof read and no word count.

Summary: It is happening. The long awaited release you and Eddie needed. But was it a mistake? It most definitely not, well not at first. Decisions must be made. But at what cost? 

Chapter 6: Suffering

👀💔🍼

Tonight is the night. It's definitely happening tonight. Eddie told himself over and over again. It was the week after Tina showed her face. Now he was no longer waiting. You had went to a union seminar that took you away for a total of 6 days 11 hours 37 minutes and 52 seconds. Yup he had been keeping track. You were about to come home and he was ready. Your place was ready to go. Flowers leading from the front door to the bed. He didn't think that you guys would make it that far so he put 3 condoms by the couch just to make sure. He put condoms in a kitchen drawer. There were condoms in the bathroom and in the hallway table. And a whole box on the bedside night stand.

He was waiting in his van ready to pick you up from the airport. He checked and double checked the glove box to see if the condoms he put in there that morning were still there. They were. He went to the back and fixed the mattress he put back there just for you. Just in case he couldn't make it to the house. He really was not messing around tonight. It was happening and that's it.

He looked at his watch and got out of the van and went inside the building. He had flowers in one hand and your favorite chocolates in the other. He was so ancy he was practically jumping up and down. There were a lot of people coming out of the gate and he didn't see you.

" Sweetheart...be here. You gotta be here." He said under his breath.

" I'm here honey."

He whipped around and there you were. Pretty as a damn picture.

" How-"

" I went to get my suitcase first.... Hi."

Eddie grinned. " Hi sweetheart."

He handed you the flowers and took your bag. He pulled you in for a kiss with his hand behind your head. Foreheads meeting after.

" Eddie honey. Where's our girl?"

" She's with Wayne for the night. It's just you and me sweetheart."

You looked up into his eyes and pouted.

"Alright. Just for a minute okay. She's probably sleeping already."

You kissed him on the cheek. Thank you honey. I missed her."

" Oh I see. You only like me for my daughter."

" Well duh silly. She's just too perfect. I'm working on her to love more than you so we can run away together." You teased

Eddie frowned until you gave him kisses and apologized.

" Okay we need to hurry because I can't wait for much longer." He said handing you the box of chocolates and led you to the van.

After seeing Rosie you guys went to your place. Eddie brought in your bags and helped you out of your jacket and shoes. He was going for your shirt when you stopped him.

" Baby. Please let me shower. I need to wash the plane off and I need to wake up. I'll be out in 5 mins. I also bought something to wear for you."

" Why sweetheart? I'm just gonna take it off. I want you butt ass naked in that bed in 6 minutes. And not a second more."

"Yes sir." You said before kissing him and went.

Eddie grabbed 2 bottles of Gatorade and some snacks for when you guys needed to build up energy. He put his hair up in a low bun because things were about to get hot. He already brought a fan in earlier so he turned that on. He looked at his watch and saw you had 3 minutes left. He was so giddy he could just spit. He lit a couple of candles and turned on some music. Careless Whisper was playing.

"Oh no. Honey that is not what we should be doing it to, for our first time. Can we have Judas Priest or Def Leppard playing instead?"

He turned to look at his amazing fiance. " See baby. This is why we're getting married. Your taste in music is impeccable."

" Why thank you." You yawned and went to the bed taking off your towel and laid down.

" No. Nope. Don't do that sweetheart. We have to do this tonight. I can't wait anymore." He changed the music and took off his clothes.

His penis looked angry. The tip was this brilliant shade of red that you felt bad for it. You moved the blanket back so he could get in too. His body was so warm. You wished he would just spoon you and you could fall asleep. But no you had to stay up for him. You guys had been waiting too long for this.

Eddie propped himself on one elbow and kissed you and massaged your breast. He started to kiss your cheek down to your jaw line and then down to your neck. He took your nipple into his mouth while his hand went for your clit. Your soft moans were making it impossible to not cum right then and there. But then your moans changed. He looked up and you were falling asleep.

" Baby no." He whined "Please wake up. I can't do this when you're sleeping."

You rubbed your eyes and looked at him. " I'm sorry honey. I'm up. I'm up."

Eddie narrowed his eyes at you. "Stay with me baby. Don't fall asleep."

"Okay honey. I promise. I'm up. I won't fall asleep."

Eddie went back to rubbing and sucking. He reached over to grab a condom. He hurried and put it on and positioned himself so that his face was staring right at your perfect little pussy. He just wanted to taste you for a minute. He licked up your slick swallowing it and enjoyed the sweetness only you could provide him. He hummed into you and stuck his tongue so deep into your hole that his nose was pressing against your clit. He moved his face to use his nose and an aid to get you off. He was enjoying himself so much that he didn't realize that you were completely knocked out.

" Mmm baby. I love how wet you get for me. You taste so good." He cooed

But when you didn't respond he smiled.

" Leaving you speechless huh?" He gave your clit one last swirl of his tongue before looking up.

" Aww sweetheart common."

He got to his knees leaning his ass on his heels. He hung is head when you turned to your side and curled up a bit. He huffed and took off the condom and tossed it. He laid down facing you and pulled the blanket over both of you.

" I'm really mad at you sweetheart. But I love you. Sleep tight baby." He whispered and kissed your forehead.

...

In the morning you weren't in bed when he woke up. But he could smell food. He got up and took off the hair tie and shook his head letting his curls fall down. He put on a pair of grey sweatpants. He was not happy. He went to take a piss and shave his patchy beard he had been growing for you. Just to tick you off. Before he went to the kitchen he lifted the toilet seat and smirked. He had to pay you back. You promised you weren't gonna fall asleep. He walked out to the kitchen and jumped up on the counter. You had your back towards him plating up pancakes.

You were wearing this red and black flannel the went a little past your your bum, with the sleeves rolled up. Your hair was in a messy high bun. If you didn't look so damn cute Eddie would have stayed mad at you. But he couldn't. He loved you. But he sure was gonna play like he was.

You turned around and frowned. He shaved his beard. Yup he was upset. How could you do that to him? Poor Eddie. How were you going to make it up to him? You went to stand in front of him holding up the plate of pancakes.

" I'm sorry honey. Please forgive me. I made you 'I'm sorry' pancakes."

Eddie huffed and looked away crossing his arms trying not to smile.

" No. How about I'm really sorry bacon?" You said putting down the pancakes and picking up a plate of nice crispy bacon.

Eddie uncrossed his arms and held on to the edge of the counter hanging his head. Crap he was really pissed. You sat the plate down and moved between his legs, cupping his face and lifting it.

" Honey how about I'm really really sorry kisses?"

You lifted to your toes and kissed his cheeks and his nose and chin. He put his hands on your waist to pull you closer. He wants your lips so he hopped down and found them with his. He grabbed your ass and smiled to himself. You didn't put on any underwear. He was instantly hard. You pulled off his sweatpants and he pulled you scrunchie out gently. You guys were on the floor in seconds.

Eddie was going for your buttons on your flannel but was frustrated trying to get them off. He grabbed either side and was about to rip it open.

"No don't honey. I like this shirt."

" I'll sow them back on sweetheart. I promise."

You were mid nod when he ripped open your shirt and your tits bounced. He sat up and immediately put one of your nipples in his mouth. He cupped the other and rubbed your nipple with his thumb. He reached over to a drawer and pulled out a foil wrapper. You looked at it and smiled.

" how many do you have in there?" You leaned to look in the drawer and smiled.

" Sweetheart. I need you to focus." He said with a piece of the foil between his teeth.

He quickly put on the condom and went back to massage your breast showing them both equal attention with his tongue.

Your hand was guiding his member to your warmth. Eddie helped you to your knees so that you could put him in. He laid down as soon as his tip went His eyes rolled back from how damn warm and tight you were. You sank down slowly trying to take him as much as you could before you had to stop and get used to his stretch.

"J-jesus ba-baby " Eddie choked. " Fu-"

The moment he was in you, your whole body tingled. The feeling of his tip pushing it's way into you was something you really couldn't explain. You had sex before but it never felt like this. The feeling of him gave you goosebumps, like when you hear that favorite part of a song that sends chills to your arms and legs

You couldn't believe how you got all of him in you. But here you were. Your bundle of nerves were being tickled by his short and curlys. His tip smashing into a spot deep inside you that made your body shivered and jerked. The bitter sweet pain made you ache for more. You lifted a bit but pushed down harder releasing a silent gasp. Your eyes snapped shut as the wonderful shooting pain radiated deep in your core.

Eddie's fingers dug into the meat of your thick thighs. He raised his hips just a little to push further into that soft pillowy spot. His loud groans caused you to quiver. You rocked your hips slowly to prolong your orgasm.

"Oh fuck sweetheart... shit."

Eddie's hands moved to your hips to move you faster. Once he did that you were done for.

" Eddie...I'm so..I'm..so...close."

" Fuck! Cum. Cum. Baby...I'm cumming."

Your hips jerked as Eddie's bucked. He could feel his hot sticky cum surrounding his cock. You kept moving until his body tensed under you. You sat there for a moment to catch your breath. You looked down to see Eddie shaking his head.

" Jesus H Christ sweetheart. I can't...fuck!"

" Good?"

"Other worldly."

You giggled causing Eddie to sit up and hug you.

" Don't laugh. I'm not ready to go again yet. Give me like 3 minutes."

He kissed you deeply and rested his head on your chest. You held him stroking his back.

" I'm hungry." Eddie's voice was muffled due to his face being buried.

You got off of him giving him one last kiss before putting your buttonless shirt back on. Eddie pulled on his sweats but stayed sitting on the floor. You gave him his plate and laid down so that your head was rest in his lap. Eddie fed you some of his pancakes. He was going on and on how now he couldn't wait to get married. You just looked up and admired his enthusiasm.

Eddie gasp. " Let's move in together."

"Umm honey, wasn't that the plan after we get married?"

"Yeah but I'm talking about like next week. Let's get a house!"

...

" A house?"

" Yeah sweetheart. Let's do this."

" Ok but it's gonna take much longer than a week to get one. Are you sure?"

Eddie bent down to kiss your forehead with sticky lips. " Absolutely! I'm so excited... Mr. And Mrs. Munson."

You giggled and touched his jaw. " I like the sound of that."

He grinned at you and lifted a brow. " Okay. Keep looking at me like that and we are gonna go at it like bunnies."

"Look at you like what?"

" Like you love me."

" But umm I do. With all my butt."

" With all your butt?" He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes at you.

" Yes. I would say with all my heart but my butt is bigger. But I love you with all my heart too."

" Oh you. You are so fucking cute. I swear."

" No you. But ummm I'm ready when you are" you gave him a sly smile.

" Oh shit! Let's go sweetheart."

Eddie and you were shopping around looking for a place. It was about a month til the wedding and you were so nervous. So much was happening so fast. It was natural to be anxious. But things turned when you missed your period.

You and Eddie had sex a lot. And when I mean a lot I mean a lot . In your car, in his van. At the lake and in the parking lot at work. In a gas station stall, at skull rock, on the old bench in the woods. In the morning before work and after Rosie would pass out. You guys learned quickly how to be quiet. Eddie's insatiable need to have you anywhere and everywhere was exciting. But you were late and started to freak out. You should have talked to him about it but you really thought it was the stress of moving and the wedding. Rosie was in her terrible twos and she was putting you and Eddie through the ringer. She only wanted to be held by you and you tried. But between working and everything else it was hard to comfort her as much as you like.

She was really giving Eddie a hard time. She constantly smacked him and cried. She would refuse to eat until you would feed her. Eddie was also having a hard time at work. He had gotten a promotion and moved to the maintenance department, working on broken machines and what not. The job wasn't hard but the classes he had to take on the electrical part was. He had to pass a test in a few weeks so that he could get the highest wage. The money was good but the studying was overwhelming.

He would spend hours at the trailer while you and Rosie would be at your place so he could have peace and quiet. You enjoyed the mommy daughter time you had with her but you missed Eddie. He worked a lot more now leaving you to plan the wedding. It being too much for you to handle alone. You enlisted the help from Dustin and Wayne.

You had decided that you wanted a simple wedding and chose not to wear white. You were trying on a bunch of dresses for the guys. But Rosie was screaming her head off because she wasn't in your arms. You took her into the dressing room and picked out a matching light yellow dress. It fell down to your ankles and had a lace wrap. It was really beautiful. You looked in the mirror hold Rosie on your hip.

" Oh look at you sweet girl. You look so pretty."

"Ma- mum" she babbled smacking your chest lightly.

" Yes princess. We look so pretty. Just two princesses waiting for our knight in shiny leather jacket....I miss your daddy sweet girl." You bounced her and almost cried.

You went outside to show Dustin and Wayne.

" Oh my god! You look great!" Dustin smiled.

Wayne smiled and nodded.

" I think this is the one." You grinned

" Definitely." Dustin agreed.

You stood there rocking Rosie. " What do you think princess? Will daddy like it?"

She was too distracted with your necklace to pay attention. That's when you started to feel sick. You handed her to Wayne as your rushed to the bathroom. You could hear her screaming as you closed the door. You were vomiting like crazy. You washed your mouth out and stared into the mirror.

" No. This can't be happening."

There was a knock at the door.

" Miss are you okay? Do you need water?" The lady who was helping you pick out dresses asked through the door.

" I'm uhh I'm ok. Can you ring me up for the two dresses?"

" Of course."

You heard her leave and took a deep breath. You went back and grabbed Rosie.

" Is everything alright kiddo?" Wayne looked worried.

" Umm yeah. Im just not feeling well. Can we call it a day?"

" But we need to go to the flower shop." Dustin claimed

" We can go later. I think I'm coming down with something."

They both nodded and you and Rosie went to change. After dropping off Dustin you and Wayne were driving back to the trailer.

" Mr Munson, can we stop at the pharmacy before we go back?"

" Sure thing."

Once back at the trailer you put Rosie down for a nap and grabbed you pharmacy bag and went to the restroom. You had told Wayne what was going on and he sat patently in the living room for you. You were sitting on the toilet waiting for the results of the pregnancy test. You were biting your nails as your knee bounced. You were losing it. This couldn't happen. You looked at your watch and you had a minute left. You were praying that it was negative. God you couldn't be pregnant. You guys had been so careful.

You walked out and sat next to Wayne. The hand that was holding the test was shaking. You didn't have to say anything. Wayne just knew. He hugged you as you cried into his chest.

" It's okay y/n. Everything is going to be alright."

" Wayne. I can't have another baby. I just can't. What if I lose it? Eddie is so stressed out lately and he's gonna be so mad. He would never forgive me and I can't lose another one."

" Y/n he won't be like that. Did you guys ever talk about what might happen if you did?"

You pulled back to wipe your tears away. " No. We've always been so careful."

Wayne sighed. " Well let's get you to the walk-in and make sure that's right. We'll get you checked out and then we can go from there." He pointed at the test.

You sniffled and nodded. Wayne hugged you and rubbed your arms. " Everything will be just fine. I know my boy. He won't be mad."

...

Eddie busted his ass today. He had a hands on test today and he passed it with flying colors. It was just the written part of it. He had seen less of you and Rosie since he started this new job and he hated it. On his way to the trailer he was looking forward to seeing you. Imagine his surprise when he didn't see your car there. He jogged inside to see his uncle sitting on the couch.

" Hey old man. Where are my girls?" Eddie went to wash his dirty hands before grabbing a beer out of the fridge.

" They went to y/n place."

" Damnit I really was hoping to not have to drive over there tonight."

" Son I need you to come and have a seat."

" Don't tell me. Y/n didn't find the perfect dress because Rosie was throwing a fit and now she wants to call off the wedding." He smirk.

" No. She found a dress. Her and Rosie looked so beautiful."

Eddie smiled. He could just imagine you and Rosie dancing together at the reception in your pretty dresses.

"Son. Sit down."

Eddie tilted his head and furrowed his brow. " Are they ok?!"

Wayne gave him a look that worried him. So he went and sat in the recliner with the beer in his fist.

"Eddie, I know that I shouldn't be the one to tell you this. But since I was here the last time. You need to be here instead of with y/n."

" Okay enough with being cryptic old man. "

Wayne sighed through his nose. " Y/n is pregnant."

It was silent for a minute then Eddie laughed. But it stopped as soon as he realized it wasn't a joke. He clenched his fist and stood up slamming his beer on the coffee table.

" HOW THE FUCK?! WHAT THE HELL?! NO. NOPE. NOT POSSIBLE!"

" Son-"

"HOW COULD SHE DO THAT TO ME?!" He punched the wall.

"She didnt-"

" NO! WE CAN'T. I'M NOT READY." He paced the small living room.

He was so mad. Why did this have to happen now? There was already too much going on. He went outside to smoke sitting on the porch.

" FUCK!"

Wayne followed him and stood in front of him. " You need to calm down."

" How?! This has got to be some cruel joke. We aren't even married yet....How did this happen? We always wore-" he stopped talking when he realized when it happened. " One broke....FUCK ME!..When did she find out?"

" Today. I told her to go and rest. She's uhh. She's not in a good place right now."

Eddie's heart sank. How could he only think about himself right now?

" I need to go to her." Eddie said putting out his cigarette.

" Wait. There's more."

Eddie looked at him. He felt a wave of concern wash over him.

" You know that stuff she takes for her depression?"

Eddie nodded.

" Well." Wayne cleared his throat. " It can cause a premature birth....and the baby can be born with persistent pulmonary hypertension. It's when too much blood flows through the baby's lungs. It's not curable....son, the survival rate with treatment is between 7 to 10 years."

Eddie's knees went weak and he fell back onto the steps and buried his face in his hands. How could he let this happen to you? How could you be alone right now?

" How common is it in newborns?" His voice was shaky and his body trembled uncontrollably.

Wayne went to sit next to him and put an arm around his shoulders. " In premature babies it's up to 23%. But because of the medicine it shoots up to 56%."

Eddie started to cry. How could he fix this? Just a minute ago he didn't want another baby. But now he did. He had to go to you. He needed to be there to comfort you. Hold you. Tell you everything will be ok. Tell you that he loved you.

...

Eddie walked into your place and everything was off and it was so quiet. It was already late so he knew Rosie was asleep. He took off his jacket and his shoes at the door. He walked slowly to the room and saw Rosie in the crib and you on the bed. He went to give her a kiss. He rolled out her crib quietly into your son's room that you had made up for her. He came back and took off his shirt and pants and closed the door. He climbed into bed and looked at the back of your head.

" Hi" you whispered as you turned to face him.

" Hey sweetheart"

You gave him a half hearted smile. " Did you have a good day?"

" Yes. And you?"

You were quiet for a minute before you started to sniffle.

" Eddie....I..." Your voice broke. " I'm so sorry Eddie....I... I'm...I'm pregnant."

He cupped your face with one hand. " Don't be sorry baby. It's okay."

" No it's not. I can't-"

He shushed you and pulled you into his arms. " I know. Wayne told me....it's okay. Everything is going to be alright."

" Eddie, I want this baby." You cried

He held you tighter and rubbed your back. " I do too."

" W-what if the baby is sick?"

" Then we will handle it. We will love them no matter what."

" I can't lose -"

" You won't. Baby I promise. You won't."

"... Eddie I can understand if you don't want to be with me-"

Eddie turned you so that you were laying on your back and his face was hovering over yours.

" You listen to me y/n. Don't ever think that I don't want you okay. I understand that things are hard. And this isn't the only time we're gonna struggle. And we're probably gonna fight sooner or later. But baby you're worth whatever comes our way. I will never give up on you, no matter how hard it gets. You got me. Through good days and bad. I will always be by your side. We are going to get married. We are going to get a house. And we are going to have a baby. We're gonna be one big happy family. Because I love you."

He wiped your tears away and kissed you with such love that he nearly melted. He looked over to the baby monitor to check on Rosie and she was sleeping like a rock. He looked back to your beautiful eyes.

" I love you Eddie. I love you so much."

" Can I make love to you sweetheart?"

You smiled against his lips. " Anything for you honey."

He placed his lips on you again and took off your underwear and then his boxers. He leaned on one arm to hold himself up.

" Should I put on a rubber?"

You moved his hair behind his shoulders and smiled. "Can't get anymore pregnant."

He grinned and tilted his head. " Baby, I have super sperm. It could be possible."

You giggled and kissed him. Your laugh was the best sound he had ever heard. Your smile was the most beautiful thing to ever exist on this planet. He loved you so damn much it made his stomach hurt.

He went to guide his dick up and down your slick folds. Collecting your wetness and stroked himself to spread it. Once he centered himself to your entrance he put his tip in and used both hands to hold himself up. He dipped down to kiss you as he pushed through your warm slick walls. A sob left his chest at the amount of pleasure you were allowing him to have.

You had to move your lips away from Eddie's in order to bite your lip to stop a loud moan from leaving them. The first thrust is the absolute best. Feeling every throb of him in your aching sex. Making your toes curl and your back to arch. Eddie always felt so good since the very first time. And this time was no different.

Eddie cupped your chin and turned your face back to look at him. He lost himself in your eyes. He leaned lower and rested on his elbow, hands wrapped around your shoulders. His forehead met yours as his thrusts moved from painful slow to delicious hard. Every time his hips smashed into yours, he would wait a second before pulling out to his tip, then slowly went back in until he was about 3/4 of the way and he would ram the rest right in. This making your whole body jolt upward.

You had to grab a pillow to cover your moans. Eddie was really giving it to you and you couldn't hold back anymore. But Eddie needed to see you. See all the pretty faces you made. But he definitely didn't want to wake Rosie with all these wonderful sounds. So put his hand on your mouth.

" Baby please. You have to be quiet. If you don't Rosie will wake up and I have to stop." He whispered in your ear.

" I'm.... trying" you mumbled and moaned behind his hand.

" I know sweetheart. I know. I'm almost there."

Me too. You tried to say but Eddie's hand covered your whole mouth and chin.

" I know...I can... ugh. ...I can feel....fuck...fuck...feel it."

He removed his hand from your mouth and white knuckled the pillow under your head with his other hand mimicking the other. You pulled him gently into your neck to muffle his whines and groans that were now way louder than yours. It was just a few more thrusts when you felt your release coming. That's when you felt Eddie's body trembled and hunched his back as his warm cum shot deep inside you. Yours mixed with his made you incredibly slick.

After you both came down from a satisfying climax, Eddie just laid on top of you kissing your neck and your cheek. He looked into your eyes and just fell in love all over again. He leaned in and kissed you ever so gently. Meeting your forehead with his. He moved to the side pulling out his flaccid self and laid on his side. He moved his hand on your tummy and slightly stroked with his thumb. You smiled snuggling up to him.

...

It was a week before the wedding and things were completely overwhelming. You were at work passing out the new enrollment packages for next year's health insurance. Eddie was at the labor temple taking his written test to be a certified mechanic. So it was just you and Wayne in the tiny union office. Wanye was just recently voted president and you had been voted as his secretary.

You were going through the finished paperwork to enter them into the system when Wayne asked if you were hungry. You nodded and he left to get you two lunches. You have been craving a lot of sugary foods lately and hoped he would bring you back cookies or a big slice of pie. He was only gone for a few minutes when a coworker busted into the room looking enraged.

" Hey John. What can I do for you?"

" Can you tell me what the hell is this?! Why are the premiums going up on this?"

You looked over and he was holding up the folder you gave to him a while ago.

" Umm well it's one of the negotiations the union had agreed upon. I know it's a lot. But it will come in handy if something should come up."

" THAT'S BULLSHIT!"

You jumped at his sudden bluntness. " I'm really sorry."

" DON'T BE SORRY JUST FIX THIS!"

You felt your heart begin to race and your palms began to sweat. " I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do."

" FUCK YOU! WHERE'S MUNSON?!"

" John please...calm down."

" NO! THIS IS RIDICULOUSLY!"

"Please-"

" I AM NOT FILLING THIS SHIT OUT!" He screamed throwing the papers in your face.

" HEY THAT'S ENOUGH! YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN AND STOP BEING SO DARN RUDE!" You yelled. You had started to feel a pain in your tummy when you were finished. You held it trying to soothe the pain. You had been feeling off all day. But his yelling made it so much worse.

"EAT IT YOU BITCH! EVER SINCE YOU JOINED THE COUNSEL YOU'VE BEEN ACTING LIKE A REAL FUCKING CUNT! AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON ALL THE FAVORITISM YOU AND WAYNE HAVE BEEN SHOWING OTHERS. JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING THE MUNSON BOY DOESN'T MEAN HE SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN THAT MAINTENANCE POSITION!"

The pain in your stomach got worse and you felt a warmth building between your legs.

"LIST-" you tried to speak when Wayne came in.

"HOW DARE YOU TALK TO HER LIKE THAT! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU JOHN?!"

John wasn't expecting to hear Wayne so upset. " I-I"

Wayne set the trays down on the floor and picked up John by the collar of his jumpsuit. "NO ONE IS PLAYING FAVORITES. MY BOY GOT THE JOB FAIR AND SQUARE BECAUSE HE IS GOOD! AND IF I EVER CATCH YOU NEAR MY DAUGHTER IN-LAW AGAIN. I WILL BEAT YOU WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR LIFE!....NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

Wayne tossed him out of the office and slammed the door. He was so angry you could swear you saw steam coming out of his ears. You had never heard him like that.

" Wayne." You whimpered

He turned around and his anger turned into fear. He saw your hand covered in blood and blood coming from between your legs. He went over to hold you.

" It's ok. I'm calling you an ambulance."

...

Wayne tucked you into bed when you guys got back from the ER. He kissed the top of your head.

" Rest kiddo. If you need me just holler."

You nodded. He left closing the door just enough to leave a crack in it so he could hear you. He went to your living room and sat on the couch. He sighed heavily. You and Eddie couldn't catch a damn break. He waited there until Eddie came.

Eddie had Rosie on his hip when he walked into your place. " Hey what're you doing here?"

Eddie went to put Rosie in her play pin and turned to Wayne who was standing now.

" Let's go outside. Y/n is sleeping."

Eddie looked at his watch. " This early?"

" Yes. Common let's talk."

They both went outside and Eddie left the door open so Rosie could still see him.

" Son, we had to go to the hospital today."

" What?! What happened? Is the baby ok? Is she okay?"

" Yes. Yes. They're going to be fine. Y/n just needs to rest. She's just been too stressed out lately and it's effecting her and the baby."

Shit. He knew he was spending too much time away from you. He hated that he was working so much. He knew it would bite him in the ass. But he had to do it. He had to give you and Rosie and the new baby a life he would be proud of. You deserved everything and he was going to give it to you. But not if he was going to lose you. There was nothing in this world he wouldn't do for you or Rosie. Now you guys have a little one coming too. Yes it was a lot. But as long as he had you, he could take on the world.

" Son, you need to be with her tonight. I'm gonna take Rosie so you guys can be together."

Eddie swallowed the lump that was building in his throat and blinked away the tears. " uhh yeah alright."

Wayne hugged him. "It's okay. Everything is going to be fine. Just make sure to take care of her."

" I always will." Eddie's voice broke.

When Wayne and Rosie left, Eddie paced the hallway. He had to make a decision for the both of you in order to cut back the stress you had. He couldn't lose either one of you. He wanted so badly to marry you on Saturday. But you were hurting and he couldn't let that happen anymore. He really fucked up by not helping you with this. So he made the decision to call off the wedding and hold off on moving in together. Not that he wanted to, but he had to. For the baby, for you.

He took off his jacket and shoes and went to lay down with you. You were sound asleep and he spooned you. He put his hand on your belly and caressed it. Tears fell and he held you and the baby.

He whispered" Common peanut. Be nice to mommy...I need her."

@salenorona23 @mrsjaderogers @b-irock @browneyes528

...

You gripped your steering wheel hard as you drove as carefully as you could to the Munson's trailer. It was the day before the wedding and Eddie had been keeping Rosie away from you. You were so upset from the information you got this morning and you were going to confront Eddie about it. Tears streamed down your face as you constantly grabbed your tummy and wiped them away.

Finally pulling up to the place Eddie was outside smoking. When he saw you he put it out the cigarette quickly and got to his feet. You got out and looked awful.

" Sweetheart, you're supposed to be in bed." He came towards.

" Why did I just get calls cancelling the flowers and our slot for the chapel?!"

"I uhh..." He rubbed the back of his neck.

He had meant to tell you. But he was scared that this was going to be your reaction. He didn't want to stress you out more.

" What? You don't want to marry me anymore?" Your lip quivered

" Yeah I do. It's just-"

" What?! Is this too much now? Am I too much?"

" No no baby. I just thought it would be better this way okay." His eyes filled with sadness.

" Better this way? What not being together?!"

" Please baby, I need you to calm down." He put his hands on your shoulders but you pushed them off.

" No! I know what you're trying to do. And I love you for that. But you can't just cancel everything because of it. Can't you see. Instead of making things better, you're making it so much worse. Keeping Rosie away, telling our realtor to not look for houses anymore.

" Sweetheart, common let's just go inside and calm down and we can talk about this."

" I don't want to talk about this. I want to get married tomorrow! I want to see my daughter! And I want you to stop smoking!"

" I-I"

" Figured out what's really important to you because if you want to be with me. I'll be the one in the dress at the chapel."

You opened the car door and got in.

" Baby please. Don't leave. Don't go like this."

" No Eddie! My heart hurts too much to look at you right now. How could you cancel everything without telling me?! Am I not important enough for you to just talk to? We were supposed to be a team. And you decided this without me. If you would have just said something. We could have come to a compromise. Not just you calling everything off." Tears rolled down your face.

" I mean it Eddie. I will be there tomorrow...please be there too. I need you to be there."

His heart broke when he watched you drive off. How was he going to do this?

[fatherramiro]

ok wait now im really intrigued about ramiro being a joan of arc figure, i would love to hear about that if you'd like to share

okay i need to preface this by saying that this is 90% headcanon and speculation that's now become my entire life - given that the show is canceled, unless we have a miracle we're never going to know what ramiro's full arc was going to be, so this is mostly my personal canon for the rest of the show! this is also like... 45% inspired by the world's greatest reddit comment about ramiro ("he's not the wolf or the sheep, he's the shepherd") and the likelihood of his arc reflecting the religion/faith elements of the series.

this was first brought about in a weird middle of the night thought about trans ramiro that kind of spiraled. i have a headcanon about ramiro in the simulation (and possibly in "reality") that's that he wanted so desperately to join the church when he was much younger. he thought he was called by god to do good things and teach people and most importantly help people. but as he grew up, he realized that not only is the church rife with corruption and used as a tool of oppression, but he himself is told that he is a monster/sinner in the eyes of god for something he cannot control.

it is my firmest belief about the rest of the show - as inspired by the canon of season one - that ramiro would've stepped up into a leadership role in reality. much like jérôme, he believes in doing the right thing even if it puts him at risk. he's one of the three dudes who i'd consider in eyk's inner circle (the other two being jérôme and olek). he also becomes a sort of spiritual leader in a sense as well, despite not being a priest, going off the anker scene. in seasons two and three, i fully believe that he would've really sort of become the center of any sort centering on faith and religion because like that one smart redditor said, he is the shepherd figure (albeit that lends itself more to the interpretation of ramiro as a moses figure which.... boy do i have thoughts on that too).

so how to does this all connect outside of my desire to project onto my blorbo? firstly, it's basically the premise of a really cool fic id like to write in which ramiro is trans and there's an intense discussion of gender, sexuality, and religion, but also about martyrdom. i fully believe that ramiro would've been so ready to sacrifice himself to protect people and that would of course put a strain on his and ángel's relationship, because ángel is a survivor and ángel does not want to see ramiro sacrifice himself. he wants him to live. their entire backstory is about running away/finding a life together and protecting each other (the lengths ramiro will go to save people he cares about!!), so im firmly convinced that a point of conflict for them would be that ángel wants them to focus on surviving while ramiro wants to do something more.

and we see this somewhat in the show! ángel is more than happy to let the mutiny play out, because they'll get "what we want" which is to go to america. but ramiro, already feeling isolated and hurt by ángel's actions, actively chooses to do the right thing and try to warn eyk. there's a precedent for him putting himself in danger to try and help people!! and that could've been explored more in a later season.

so yeah, the real reason for the comparison, beyond playing with gender and religion and all that jazz, is the concept of martyrdom and sainthood. because im nothing if not 100% always ready to queer those concepts up with my blorbos. and its wildly incoherent currently but i promise that when this fic is done it will at least be mildly more coherent? but yes, ramiro as leader and pseudo saint and the contrast that creates between ramiro as the man ángel loves and who he desperately does not want to lose. which i think would've been a really fucking great concept for their story (beyond ángel getting his own arc of growth as well which im still working out!)

[scribeforchrist-blog]

The Art of Loving Others

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

=========================

+ Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God

=========================

VERSE OF THE DAY

========================

+ John 10:27 The man answered, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind.’ And ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

========================

** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM A GOOD SAMARITAN

I AM TRUSTING GOD

I AM LEAVING EVERYTHING TO GOD

I AM FINDING STRENGTH IN GOD

********************************

THOUGHTS:

=======================

    Our neighbor can be the man we are drivng next to , it can be our co owrkers , it actually can be our actual neighbor we live by , how ever it may be we  have to love them like we love ourselves , when I was in the world I use to love feeding homeless dogs I would carry bags of dog food and water in my truck so if I seen one that needed water and food I would stop and feed them , I wasn’t scared more about them, I’m more afraid of humans then animals.

I love animals, I’m a animal lover of all  kinds and I have had reptiles , hamsters, guinea pigs, crabs, dogs all of them because I just love animals and the love they can give someone , with humans it was something different , you can give everything to a haman and they will still find somethig you did wrong they will find a way to turn against you and that was my idea of it that i didnt trust them at all and I trusted an aimal more.

Whatever trust issues we have, we must bring them to Jesus, and when I gave my life to Jesus, I gave him everything. I told him all my ugly sides, which I knew he knew, but I wanted him to see and know me, which I knew he did. Still, it was the point of just releasing all this to him because I knew he got me, and after a while,  I began to understand that I have to love my neighbor as I love myself; how much do you love yourself? If we say we love God with all our heart, all our soul, all our strength, and all our mind, we must love our neighbor.

   Luke 10 29: The man wanted to justify his actions, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

This man in this chapter wanted to know who was his neighbor. Jesus goes on to tell him a story about a man was beaten, robbed, and attacked, and they stripped him of his clothes and left him half dead. It was a priest; a Levite passed by him and ignored him; they didn't show pity at all, and you would think a priest would and a Levite would, but no, that's why we can't judge a book by its cover, we can't assume people with titles and people that are well known will do what's right no they ignored this man and walked around him, friends when we see someone in need we must stop and help or ask hey do you need help we can't walk around them and assume, we must show mercy to all.

 Verse  33-34: A despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him. 34 Going over to him, the Samaritan soothed his wounds with olive oil and wine and bandaged them. Then he put the man on his own donkey and took him to an inn, where he took care of him.

  See, the Samaritan didn't know the man who was beaten, but he took time, and he soothed his wounds with olive oil, and he bandaged him; then he even got him a room to stay in because he wanted to make sure he was okay because that's the same respect that man wanted but sometimes we won't get what we give. We have to understand that we do it from our heart and do it unto God because if we wait on people to play it forward, we will be waiting a long time!

  Verse 36-37 Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?” Jesus asked.37 The man replied, “The one who showed him mercy.”Then Jesus said, “Yes, now go and do the same.”

  Then Jesus asked him who do you think was this man's neighbor ? It was the man that took pity ,we have to learn how to show pity , pity is something we must show to everyone; we can't be these people who expect pity, and dont give any out because the same measure we measure someone else will be what we will get, we have to learn to help our neighbors and ask God to help us not to have trust issues, and we all have experienced a bad moment or situation, but we can't allow these things to have control over us any more surrender it all to God so that he can work on you.

*** Today we learned that that being a Good Samaritan isn’t about what others see , it isn’t about telling what have done , it’s about doing it in a way that pleases God. In the end of this story Jesus said this to every one ” Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.” He wants us to do what’s right , I hear people say they don’t know what’s right and wrong anymore but I have to say that in the good book you will find what’s right and you will find what’s wrong and if your lost on what that is open up your word and the Holy Spirit will show you the way !

©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

========================

PRAYER

========================

Heavenly Father thank you for everything, forgive us of the sins we have done help us to follow you and to love you with all our heart and all our soul. Help us to love our neighbors the same way that we want to be treated and it’s hard to show love to this world , it’s hard to love when we don’t get that same treatment back . It’s so hard to do this when people want to fight , and cause problems but help us to look past it all and help us to love to focus on you. We need you so badly to teach us and to show us the right way to go we ask that we don’t do things to show off but we do it in your glory and we live a life that pleases you in Jesus Name Amen

========================

REFERENCES

========================

+ Romans 13:10 Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.”

+ Luke 6:27-28 But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you.

+ Matthew 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you

========================

FURTHER READINGS

=========================

PROVERBS 16

MATTHEW 2

EPHESIANS 4

2 SAMUEL 9

=========================

[tinamaetales]

O, Ye of Little Faith

“You... you cruel, manipulative bastard. Is this all part of your plan? It's all just a game to you, isn't it? Eh? Well, I know punishment, and he did not deserve that. He followed your stupid rules and it still wasn't good enough! So what does it take to please you? Break your rules, and you fall. Follow them, and you still lose! Doesn't matter whether you're a sinner! Doesn't matter whether you're a saint! Nobody can win, so what's the point? What's the bloody point?” - Lucifer Morningstar

The first step towards acceptance is being honest with yourself and now I guess I am ready to admit that my relationship with God has been on the rocks. There are so many factors in my life right now that I felt responsible for my situation. I was not like this before. Since kindergarten, I have studied at Catholic schools. I grew up living the Catholic faith. Holy Mass, Saints, praying of the rosary, novena, reading the bible - these things are part of my life. But these days, they all feel so foreign to me. 

I have been feeling a different kind of emptiness since 2017 ever since I feel like God has abandoned me. It was the same year when I fell deep into depression and the time when I needed Him the most that I felt like I was abandoned. I felt as if no matter how much I pray and cry for help, heaven already closed its doors for me. And then, I somehow recovered. I began trusting God again. But I know deep down it was never really the same. There are times when I feel like I’m ok with life and at peace with God but somehow I don’t feel any kind of peace. So when I started watching the show Lucifer, I guess it was more of an act of defiance because here I am watching a show with the devil as its main character and I wanna understand his point of view. Crazy how I have found comfort in a show with the devil as its protagonist.

I couldn’t exactly remember what episode it was that featured the quote from the show that I put above but I can clearly remember what it was all about. This one’s from the episode wherein Lucifer “befriended” a priest and helped him but in the end, the priest was shot and out of anger, he told those words to God. And, I can totally relate to it.

There are a lot of moments in my life that I questioned God. Not just questioning Him, but also getting mad. I simply do not understand how miserable my life has become. I cannot understand why my life feels like a punishment….and for what? Sometimes it pisses me off seeing how evil people (politicians, mostly) tend to be living a good life even though they have committed a lot of crimes like plunder and even murder and yet ordinary people like me gets to suffer over the simplest mistakes. So when Lucifer said, “So what does it take to please you?” I felt how hurt he was. I feel as if no matter how hard I try to live, the world just simply won’t let me. Whatever happened to free will? What’s the point of free will if there are already plans for me by God? These things are what makes me so confused and hurt. 

It took me about three weeks before I finished watching all six seasons of Lucifer and it is safe to say that it’s now one of my favorite shows ever (I still stand by my position with regards to season 6…. it is the weakest season). And when a show becomes a favorite of mine, I always rewatch clips of it for I find it comforting (and also, the show’s really good!) I guess I have watched the scene where the quote above was featured many times already and now I am looking at the scene differently. Before all I can think about that scene was “I can feel the pain and the anger. I know where he is coming from. It’s okay to be mad about it” but now it is more of “I can relate to the pain and anger, I know where he is coming from but it is okay because maybe, just maybe, what happened is what was needed.” Sometimes, it is just so frustrating staying faithful to God. It’s very difficult to keep on trusting Him when things seem to keep on going down. You can’t help but ask Him, “Why? Why me?” I have come to that point wherein I feel that He hates me. I feel like every time I try to simply live, the world would just keep on throwing challenges at me. I just want to live a simple life, why is there a need for things to be so complicated all the time? 

Before, when I feel down I would just read bible verses to help myself calm down. Because back then, the words of God bring me comfort but nowadays, they don’t really mean a thing anymore. One of the bible verses that used to keep me going is from Jeremiah 29:11: “'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. '” It used to make me hold strongly on my faith in God but I’m only human. I’m a greatly flawed human.  I do not understand why I have to go through so much suffering. It feels like I can’t catch a break anymore. It was tiring trying to make sense of everything I used to believe in. Free will? Predestination? I do not get it anymore. I guess it’s safe to say that I am so lost. Like, we were given free will but why is the bible also telling me that everything is already planned by God? That’s contradictory, right? 

Just like how Lucifer questioned God in that episode, I began questioning Him too. Most of my questions come from the deepest portion of my heart because I felt left behind. And somehow, that episode is comforting because it shows that I am not the only one who can feel that kind of pain. I am unloading all of my anger towards God because I feel like out of everyone He should be the one who should know and understand me so, why leave me? I am feeling this kind of pain because I simply do not understand anymore. So Lord, if You are truly out there, at least give me answers. It seems that heaven has closed its doors on me.

My faith, my relationship with God, I guess it will always be a roller coaster ride. It will always have its ups and downs. Right now, I’m at my low point. And I hate it. Trust me, I really want to believe. I really want to keep on believing. I really want to have faith but it’s just so difficult to hold on to. 

I don’t know anymore.

I’m so confused.

I feel so lost.

Someone please save me.

O, ye of little faith you have in there, self.

x,

TinaMae

[rebullets]

This is a request @its-deputy-caleb asked for. They also had requested fluffy headcanons but tweaked it to this idea, I will still post the fluffy Micah hcs however<3 This is if he just immedietly czme back to camp btw.

Picking up Micah from Strawberry.

Micah needed to be picked up in strawberry. Baylock, his trusty steed, was nowhere to be seen. Micah could whistle as loud as possible, and the horse simply wouldn't show up.

Arthur didn't feel like giving him a ride back, he didn't want that rat on his horse. No one else wanted to either, so Dutch of course asked you to do it. You didn't have an issue with it though, it just gave you a chance to be alone and close to him.

Upon getting there, he was standing right outside town, cleaning his guns as he usually did. You noticed a body or two a little ways down the road, and realized when Arthur meant when he said Micah messed up yet again.

"Took ya long enough, cowpoke." Micah scoffed out, walking over to your horse. He smacked your hand away when you offered to help him up, rolling his eyes. "I ain't a little kid, I ain't need your help." he grumbled and climbed up onto the saddle behind you.

You were going to scoot forward to give him space, but he didn't let you, wrapping his arms around your middle, so you were up against his chest. "Don't think I'm tryin' to be cute. I just don't wanna fall off." he defended. You kind of knew he really did want to be cuddled, because after all, you would too if you were about to get hanged and suddenly got rescued.

About 10 minutes later, Micah lightly rested his head on top of yours, yawning as he did so.

"You can just ask for snuggles you know."

"I ain't cuddlin'. Just tired and don't wanna fall off.." The outlaw scoffed, giving you a tight squeeze for a second.

Really though, he was cuddling you, and meaning to as well. God he hadn't had any kind of affection, especially from you, in such a long time. He needed this sort of touch, especially after being right on the edge of being killed. Sure he was thankful to Arthur for rescuing him, but if he was being honest, YOU saved him. You're the one who made him feel better, and you're the one he secretly wanted all to himself.

"Riiight. Then this, is just so you don't fall off." you turned and looked up at him for a second, placing a kiss on his scarred up chin, then looking straight once more.

"Now what the hell was that for? Huh? I ain't wantin' any of your cooties, idiot.." Micah seemed pissed about it as he wiped his mouth. He regretted wiping it off though, but he didn't say it. He liked that kiss. He liked it a lot. And if he could, he would have you do it again.

Of course. He was never going to admit how much he was enjoying this definitely not romantic encounter. Especially to you. You'd tell Dutch. Hell, you'd tell everyone. Right? Right. He knew you would. You did it when Sean told you he slept with a guy on accident and not because he wanted to test the waters with men.

"Where's Baylock? Never see ya without 'im." you pointed out, and felt Micah stiffen.

"Dunno. That stupid horse probably up and ran away."

The truth however, is he sent Baylock to camp on his own, secretly when Arthur got him out of jail. Just so he could request Arthur send you to pick him up. So he could cuddle you the entire way back. Jsut so he could feel you in his arms the entire time. So he could feel that, someone did care about him, and would always be there for him as well.

As soft and vulnerable as it sounded, it was true. If he could, he would snuggle you all day every day. Everyone in camp would make fun of you two, but why would it matter?

""Y/n, uh. When we get there, do you wanna rest in my bed or somethin'. I know you don't like sleepin' next to that drunken priest." he offered, trying to make it sound innocent, when really, he jsut wnated an excuse to snuggle.

"With you?"

"What? No, not with me. I ain't wantin' to be that close to ya."

"Oh, okay." You tried to act upset to see if it would change anything.

"..I mean, if ya want. We sleep close enough to eachother anyway." He grumbled quietly, trying to act all angry about it. Of course, he wasn't though, he wanted to cuddle when they got to camp too.

The rest of the ride back was mostly silent, but whe. you got there, there were a few boos at Micah. He waved them off, going to speak to Dutch.

By the time he came back out of the tent, you were already asleep on his bed on the ground. He scoffed and muttered some angry words under his breath, staying in character. He shot glares and a few curses at anyone who dared to question him laying down and snuggling you.

As much as he hated to admit it, he loved affection. Especially when it was from you.:)

[violetwritesthings]

midnight mass spoilers below.

okay, but let’s talk. how do you guys think mildred and john first met? like, i’m talking their very first encounter. how interesting would it be to see that play out?

we can probably assume that john wasn’t born and raised on the island, and that he was simply assigned there by the diocese. picture a young john pruitt, freshly ordained to become an official priest, and this man is told that he has to travel all the way to crockett island, usa.

i know that canonically the island was a lot more populated in its early days when compared to present time, but, i mean—how many people do you figure actually lived there? it had to be less than a few hundred people, at the very least.

so young john pruitt is told, ‘hey, you’re going to be the priest in this tiny church on this tiny island,’ and he goes, ‘welp, okay.’

i believe he got seasick at least one time on the ferry ride there, because I said so.

john finally makes it to crockett island, gets off the ferry, and immediately gets lost. there’s nobody around, pretty much a ghost town, and he’s like, ‘i have zero idea where I’m going. what the actual fu—’

anyway, he’s pretty much wandering in circles around the dock because he simply doesn’t know where to go. (obviously, at this point in time, there’s no annoying bev keane standing at the dock like ‘mONSIGNOR OVER HERE :D’)

by his tenth time around, hauling all of his luggage, suddenly this woman’s voice rings out from behind him—“um, excuse me?”

john turns around, just glad there’s someone there, and then he literally freezes. in front of him is the most beautiful woman he’s probably ever seen. he just stares at her for a second. then he realizes that she looks really concerned, which is when he remembers his mouth does indeed work and he can speak.

“oh, uh, hello,” he stammers. he chastises himself internally for looking like such a blubbering idiot. “i’m john—john pruitt.”

she smiles. “oh! you’re the new priest!” he nods in response. “yes, we were awaiting your arrival, but we all thought you were coming later this week.”

he chuckles awkwardly. “yeah, well, they decided to send me over here a couple days early.”

the woman looks around, realizing that there’s no one else around. “oh, dear. i guess the welcome committee is just me.”

john doesn’t tell her that he couldn’t imagine a better welcome committee, because that’d be creepy and he just met her. instead, he clears his throat. “i can’t seem to find my way to the church. er, st. patrick’s?”

the woman’s eyes light up. “i can bring you there! i was on my way to the church, anyhow.”

“that’d—that’d be great, actually. thank you, miss.”

she laughs. “please, don’t call me miss. it makes me feel like an old woman.” she holds out her hand. “mildred. mildred gunning.”

he takes her hand, shaking it. “that’s a beautiful name.” john swears he sees mildred blush slightly.

“well, this way, then,” mildred hums.

she starts to lead the way to the church. john doesn’t know her all that well, or at all, really. not now. but from this moment on, and on into their eternity, john would follow her anywhere as long as she’d have him.

he does find a moment in his prayers that night to thank god that he got lost that morning.