#girl who gets off to cyberbullying people on twitter

[boycritter]

this is the funniest fucking book ive ever read

[yelenasdiary]

You Are

Pairing: Florence Pugh x Reader

Summary: Florence assures you how much you mean to her and comforts you when your insecurities overload your mind. 

| Fluff & Angst | 1.9K | Cyberbullying, body shaming, name calling, swearing.

Y/BF/N (Your Best friends Name) 

Prompt 12 from my list: “I’m yours, in every way possible.”

AC: Comfort Flo? Yes please! 

*This is a request from my old blog*

You were never one to let the talk of social media to get you down but sometimes it’s harder when you’re alone. Florence has left town for a friend’s birthday party. You couldn’t go with as you had promised your best friend that you’d help with moving apartments. She’s moving from a smaller one to a bigger one, she’s worked hard and you’re beyond proud of her. 

Florence and you have been together for two years now, fans and critics have been keeping tabs on the two of you since you both announced the relationship publicly. You were flooded with countless DMs on Instagram from fans wishing you both the best, some weren’t as impressed as others, but you brushed them off. Who were they to tell you who you should date or not? 

You’ve spent less and less time on social media since being with Florence, that’s one of the things you’ve loved the most. Before you met her live was a tad boring and social media kept you entertained for the most part but being with Florence? She made you forget about the digital world. 

“Thank you so much for helping again!” Y/BF/N smiled as she let you into her now packed and boxed apartment. “You literally don’t have to thank me” you grinned. There was a moving truck parked in the street with the driver keeping watch for the two of you. You grabbed a box and started the day of labour. 

“How’s Florence?”  your friend of 10+ years asked. “She’s great, she’s got a few projects in the work that she’s excited about so things are about a tad busy” you explained with a smile. “That’s great, she loves work so I can imagine how excited she is to get back out there” 

“You’re telling me!” you giggled. 

After a few hours of taking boxes down to the truck then getting the bigger items ready for the next truck load of things before driving to her new apartment and unloading the truck it was time for lunch. A couple of sandwiches and cakes from the café would good you both well. 

Naturally you’d checked your phone as we all do. A quick scroll through Instagram before you opened Twitter. Your feed was flooded with new candid photos of your girlfriend, a smile formed on your lips at the sight of her. Then the comments started showing. 

“Flo is in her single hot girl summer I know it!” 

“Single Flo??!”

“Uhm, where’s Y/n?”

“If Flo and Y/n broke up I’m literally going to throw a party! I was getting so tired of those two”

“Y/n kicking herself for letting Flo walk around looking this good, I just KNOW it” 

Were just some of the comments that you saw, you ignored them knowing the truth of your relationship with Florence was strong and these people had no idea what you and Florence share. You focused on the good, some of your other friends tweeting memes that made you forget the comments you just read. You retweeted a couple, instantly regretting it as your notifications started blowing up. 

“@yourusername if you and Florence have split, it’s for the best. It must have been hard to keep thinking you were worthy of her” one account stood out to you. Stupidly you fell into the trap of looking over their account. How somebody would waste so much of their own time to create an account to direct hate at you was beyond you. They butchered your photos, cropped you out of candids with Florence along with personal photos you’d shared before. 

“How can Flo wake up to this everyday makes me sick!” one tweet read with an attached photo of you, a screenshot of a video Florence had posted of you pulling stupid faces at her while at a family event. Your heart started to break as you couldn’t control your thumb from scrolling further down. 

“Imagine being Florence have to be seen out with this whale looking human” read the tweet that hit a little harder than you thought. You’ve had insecurities about your body for so long and you were just learning to love yourself and see your self beauty as you are, but this tweet had all those negative thoughts running back. 

Then there was a mix of photos of Florence when she was in Ibiza with friends, “Florence and Will look more in love than her and Y/n ever had. Please let this happen!!” the account tweeted along with a thread of people they thought Florence looked better with. 

“Ready to get back to it?” Y/BF/N’s voice broke your attention, pushing your feelings to the side you gave her a fake smile “give me one second, I just need to reply to this message” you said. She nodded before grabbing a box. 

“Missing you darling, how’s the moving?” Florence’s text read. You didn’t notice it before. 

“Just fine. Super busy, talk tonight” you replied before turning your phone off completely. 

You helped Y/bf/n until everything was moved into her new apartment, it was around 9pm by the time you both finished, you stay back and helped her put her bed together, so she didn’t have to sleep on the hard floor. She was extremely grateful and hugged you super tight. “I know something has been on your mind today, but I really do love you and I appreciate all the help today” she smiled as you both pulled away from the hug. “I love you too and again, stop thanking me!” you chuckled, “I am however going to go home and shower” you smiled. 

“A shower sounds so good! Don’t let me hold you back” she laughed. You said your goodbyes and headed home. Turning your phone back on once you pulled into the driveway, 10 missed calls from Florence along with serval unread texts. The lights still on in the house but you couldn’t bring yourself to face her just yet. Hurt from the words you’d read but it got worse. More tweets, more messages drained you emotionally. Tears filled your eyes, your body slightly shaking from the physical pain you were feeling. You totally forgot that there were cameras for security purposes. One faced the main gate, and another captured the driveway. 

You broke down, tears running freely down your cheeks, your head rested on the steering wheel while you held your hands over your chest. A soft knock on the window of your car made you look up. There stood Florence with eyes of worry, she opened the door and kneeled, placing her hand on your thigh gently. 

“Baby, what’s happened?” she asked. You looked over at her, your eyes red and sore before you wiped your tears away only for them to return. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it” you cried. 

“Darling don’t give me that. What’s going on” Florence frowned with concern. Without speaking you handed her your phone. She punched in your pin code and was welcomed to the account that started your breakdown. She took a moment and scrolled through some of the vile things that were posted. “I know I should’ve read it; I know I should’ve just blocked the account but I just- “

“My love, look at me” Florence stopped you, placing your phone on the ground. You looked at her and snuffled, she cupped your cheeks and wiped the rest of your tears away. “This” she looked down at your phone then back to you “is pure bullshit. It’s crap, it untrue and all posted by somebody who has no idea who you are as a person” she started leaving one hand on your cheek, her thumb stroking your skin gently while her other free hand held your left hand. “Baby, you are so fucking beautiful, I mean that. Everybody has flaws but I love every single one of yours. I want you to know that I’m yours, in every way possible.” She smiled softly.

“You make me smile, you make me laugh, you bring me love and comfort, you are the sun on a stormy day, you are the warmth I seek when it’s cold outside, you are beautiful soul I give my all too. Theses mindless pricks don’t see the how special you are and that’s their loss. If they can’t see how beautiful and breath taking you are, they are blind.  I love you, do hear me? I love you, all of you, everything single part of you. I love you, only you” 

You looked into your girlfriends’ eyes and wondered how you could ever be so silly to question her intentions. You loved her so much and she loved you more than you’d ever know. You gave her a small nod, “I love you, I’m sorry” you spoke softly. 

“Don’t you ever apologise for the behaviour of others” Florence said before she kissed you gently but full of pure love. Showing you that nobody what anybody said, you were the one she loved more than people would know. “Now come inside, I’ve made dinner and I even got some of your favourite bath bombs to help relax your body after all that lifting today” she said before kissing you again. 

While you were in the bath after dinner, Florence took it upon herself to call out the trolls that made you question yourself. She never liked doing this but after seeing you so broken, she wasn’t having it happened again. 

florencepugh: I didn’t think I’d have to make this post again and repeat myself but some of you need to be told one final time. 

It is NOT your place to make my loving, beautiful girlfriend feel unworthy of my love. There is no need to be saying such horrid things about her. You don’t know her, you don’t talk to her, you don’t see her and you sure as well don’t feel the things she makes me feel. Y/n is my partner, my girlfriend, my sunshine, my darling, my love, you name it, she is my all. I love her. 

I don’t use Twitter and after today I am extremely grateful I don’t because the things that have been said there is sickening, disrespectful and disgusting. I’m not going to expose the account, but you know who you are. The things you’ve said do hurt, they do get read and they take a toll on not only the person you direct them too but those around them. 

This afternoon, Y/n came home and showed me what you’d said. I don’t know why you think you have any right think you know anything that goes on in my mind but let me assure you that waking up to Y/n every morning is a fucking blessing. She does this little nose scrunch before she wakes up that drives me crazy and oh lord, her morning voice? WOW! So, if that image makes you feel sick, I hope you’re next to the toilet, love. 

For those who do support my beautiful partner, please enjoy these series of photos and videos that are some of my favourites of her. It’s been over two years and I still can’t believe how lucky I am to call her mine! How lucky I am to hold her every night, kiss her whenever I feel like, show her off to the world. I’m so grateful for her and everything she does for me. Y/n, baby, I love you! 

Taglist: @red1culous | 

[ecoamerica]

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[strideofpride]

random ask for when you’re in the mood: if you had both the opportunity and inclination to readapt the original gossip girl for today’s audience, what elements of the core characters would you alter, and which ones would you make sure to preserve? are there aspects of certain characters you’d want to give more or less emphasis as compared to the way they were presented in the original show?

(for context, this thought experiment came to me because i was thinking about how if anyone ever did reboot the original gossip girl today and weren’t writing dan as gg, they’d have to figure out how to present the non-gossip-girl-dan to an audience that’s primed to be skeptical/distrustful of him based on the choices of the cw series - in a way that the cw series obviously didn’t have to contend with when adapting the novels. this made me think more broadly about how characterization choices in newer adaptions of old material end up being influenced by the way pop culture has come to conceptualize a character - even if that’s contrary to the original intention of the text)

Hmmmmm. Honestly, I don't think you actually need to change much tbh? Like I think there's a reason people are still so obsessed with the OG Gossip Girl and that's cause the character archetypes of everyone really hold up and stand the test of time. I really would just update some cultural references maybe like:

Jenny is on fashion tiktok and always doing OOTDs and that kind of stuff, has a big following already as a freshman

Serena was super instafamous before going dark when she disappeared off to boarding school

Thanks to social media, Blair is an *excellent* anonymous hater/cyberbully lol. Like if GG is on insta like in the reboot, she probably has like five different accounts to comment mean stuff under gg posts lol

Vanessa is on Film Twitter and has a ton of letterboxd followers

Chuck definitely posts revenge porn cause he still sucks :(

Nate also has a large insta following but he mainly just posts blurry selfies and earnest stories congratulating his favorite sports teams lol

Dan probably is super online, maybe he has his own substack where his only followers are his dad and Vanessa, and then when he starts dating Serena, it takes off.

If I was making this version of GG, I would keep the focus mainly on Serena, Blair, and Dan, like they originally started with. Although I would like to see a real attempt made at the Blairernate triangle made as well, cause I know it's such an important aspect of the books. I would keep Chuck a villain, kinda like Georgina, where he just brings chaos. You could still do 107-113 c/hair, just none of the soapy melodrama from the later seasons. Based off the way most of the Euphoria audience reacted to Nate Jacobs, I'm hopeful that people would be less likely to romanticize this version of Chuck. Hell, maybe it's even like the guy from Do Revenge, where he does performative feminism now to try to get girls idk.

And then re: the whole Dan being GG thing...I don't really care what the audience thinks because in my version no one is GG and it will never be revealed lol. I honestly think it's a no win situation too, because the OG writers have straight up admitted they didn't decide on Dan as GG until s6 and there are so many instances in the show where it's literally impossible for Dan to be GG but yet there are still people who take it seriously so...

[aeonghaseyo]

I think she's talking about you and @harriyanna.

Really now. I made a big mistake? She never learns. The more she threatens the more she's the bad guy here.

Go play the villain, Pee Girl. I'm telling you, that proves our point even more that you're nothing but a deranged lunatic who thinks she can be excused because of your mental disorder. You have done nothing but bring harm to the MLB community with your out-of-line harassment, and it's MY fault? Harriyanna's fault??

YOU FUCK OFF TUMBLR, TWITTER, YOUTUBE, AND WHEREVER YOU FUCKING LURK. WE AND THE MLB FANDOM ARE SICK OF YOU AND YOU'RE JUST DIGGING YOUR OWN GRAVE. HELL, YOU'RE RESERVING YOUR OWN SPECIAL CELL IN SOME JAIL WHEREVER THE FUCK YOU ARE WHENEVER YOU PLAN TO ENGAGE IN MORE CYBERBULLYING LIKE THIS ONE.

YOU HAVE NO ONE. YOU LITERALLY ARE DESERTED BY PEOPLE WHO COME TO KNOW YOUR BS, AND YOU'RE JUST DAMN LUCKY YOU'RE STILL ABLE TO GET OTHER PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOUR BULLSHIT TO SIDE WITH YOU IN THIS WAR. ONCE YOU HIDE THE TRUTH FROM THEM ALL THE MORE, IT WILL FUCKING COME OUT AND YOU WILL LOSE A LOT MORE THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE.

You're messing with a goddamn arsenal here. Try us. Try the entire fucking Miraculous fandom. You won't be able to walk away from this ALIVE.

MLB fandom listen up: the one way we can silence this lunatic is by signing this petition. It should only take a few seconds of your time to finally let your voice be heard by Tumblr, Twitter, and Youtube. Go all-out. DON'T FUCKING HESITATE TO FIGHT.

[p-redux]

Gloating about being an insider during a time of sadness is DISGUSTING

I'm not gloating, I'm posting INFO and FACTS like I always do...and showing restraint and discretion in not posting it sooner, and not posting the details, which I haven’t and won’t.

But you know what IS disgusting? Here’s a LONG list, and by no means, a comprehensive one, of what Extreme Shippers, Former Extreme Shippers, and Assorted Haters have done that is VERY DISGUSTING. I’ll write it stream of consciousness-like and not in order. Put your feet up and grab a tall drink. Here we go...

Click on Keep Reading

Extreme Shippers found Cait’s condo when she used to live in Los Angeles and sat outside for hours waiting to see if they saw her with Sam. ES blackmailed and coerced a minor, a 14 year old girl who was a super fan of Abbie’s sister, Charlotte Salt, into giving them info regarding Abbie and Sam. The girl was following Abbie’s locked Instagram account and could see the Sam related stuff Abbie was posting. ES won her trust, she gave them info about Abbie and Sam, they then told her if she didn’t screencap and give them the Sam related pics on Abbie’s IG account, they would tell Abbie and Charlotte that she had been giving them info. Sick doesn’t begin to describe it. ES tried to dox and did dox anyone and everyone who got in the way of their SamCait ship. Doxed, as in PUBLICLY posted, the names, addresses, pictures of their houses, professions, husbands’ and children’s names, employer names of ANYONE and EVERYONE who posted something to contradict the ship. They even posted pictures of their children. Again, messing with minors is a big no no, and usually a crime. ES created fake Ashley Madison accounts (that’s the website for married people who want to meet people to cheat on their spouses with) and pretended to be non-shippers’ husbands to try to make it seem like the husband was cheating. It got so bad, that in some cases, non-shippers had to get restraining orders, cease and desist orders, get the police, lawyers, and in TWO cases, the F B I involved. Yes, the F B I has come a knocking on a couple of Extreme Shipper’s doors because of their ILLEGAL actions. ES lured some of Sam’s girlfriends into believing they had their best interest at heart, gained their trust, and they PUBLICLY posted their PRIVATE messages. Luckily, in the case of one Sam’s ex, Abbie Salt, she later did confirm she and Sam dated, which totally negated everything that shipper had said Abbie told her.  ES directly BULLIED and HARASSED fans, Outlander cast, crew, journalists, reporters, family and friends of Sam and Cait. ES contacted people’s employers to try to get them fired...literally messed with people’s livelihoods. They tried to get the Outlander drivers fired because they started posting stuff against shippers AFTER shippers turned on them. ES waited outside Sam and Cait’s residences in whatever location they were in to try to “catch them together.” Taking pics at someone’s private residence is very different than getting pics or video in PUBLIC places. For years, ES have manipulated pictures, gifs, video to sell the SamCait LIE to their gullible shipper friends. They’ve made money off selling these lies. ES have ostracized and banished any shipper friends who acknowledged the ship wasn’t real. They sent their best friend to Tony’s bar in London to try to prove he and Cait weren’t together, and when she unwittingly found out they were, they then bullied her and kicked her out of shipperville. ES created multiple hate sock accounts for the SOLE purpose of CYBERBULLYING Sam’s girlfriends and dates. Any time Sam dates a woman, ES follow the same pattern. They contact the women’s employers, parents, siblings, other family members, friends, ex-boyfriends trying to malign the women. Some examples: They pretended to have gone to high school with Mackenzie Mauzy and spread lies that she had a bad reputation in high school. They spread lies that Gia was a paid escort. ES contacted social media outlets to spread LIES about Sam and Cait and their significant others. Contacted anyone associated with Cait and Tony’s wedding trying to intimidate them into saying there was no wedding. They posted the picture of a waiter at one of the Outlander premieres and tried to pass him off as Tony to prove Tony didn’t go with Cait. ES have continuously posted pics of Cait with her naturally poochy belly trying to prove that she’s been pregnant with Sam’s children for the last 7 years. ES publicly questioned her if she was pregnant. Sam haters and disgruntled ex-shippers have spread rumors that Sam is gay. Nothing wrong with being gay, but what is wrong is spreading LIES. ES have badmouthed Cait’s HUSBAND, Tony McGill saying he was: her assistant, gay, her gay assistant, a loser, broke, boring, ugly, her purse holder, etc. And trust me, what I’ve posted above is the SHORT list.

And that’s not even mentioning what they’ve done to ME. Ever since I committed the unforgivable sin of posting source info CONFIRMING Sam and Cait were never a couple, and Cait was dating Tony, way back in 2014, this is what SamCait Extreme Shippers have done to me. Tagged me endlessly when I had my Twitter account telling me things like “Die, b*tch,” “Die, c*nt,” “You should be gang rap*d,” “Drop a house on her,” “You’re worse than AIDS,” and those are the “nice” comments. They literally BULLIED me every day, all day for YEARS. They also created hate accounts on Twitter and Instagram to mock me, parody me, and post lies about me. They were convinced they’d found my real identity (based on circumstantial evidence, which I’ve countered and can counter with the actual truth), and proceeded to post THAT woman’s FULL NAME, city where she lived, profession, reported her to her licensing board, and created a fake Twitter account pretending to be her. She got a lawyer and was able to get everything taken down, but they basically tried to ruin her life. They’ve spread LIES about me being the one harassing THEM and managed to convince over 60 dopes with disposable incomes to give them money for a GoFundMe campaign where they hired a Private Investigator to try to find me. They started a witchhunt letter writing campaign, hashtagged it on Twitter, #takebackourfandom, or some such bullsh*t, tagged everyone in Outlander cast and crew “telling” on me and even sent letters and e-mails to Starz and Sony executives trying to...I don’t know what. Hahahaha. It’s so ridiculous, my brain is scrambling as I write this. They told their followers not to believe anything I say and that I’m evil personified. ALL of that and more because they couldn’t face the FACT that their SamCait ship NEVER EXISTED and I was the one that confirmed it. When I think about it, I can’t believe I lived through all that. But I stayed because I knew I had the TRUTH on my side and that eventually it would all come out, which of course it did. And because I’m a bad bitch who doesn’t scare easily.  EVERYTHING I’m referring to here is well DOCUMENTED with screencap proof. Or just ask anyone who’s been in the fandom long enough, they’ll attest that what I’m saying did actually happen, and that Extreme Shippers, Former Shippers, and Haters did do all of that.

So, Anon, when you come at me with “disgusting” things in this fandom, please refer to the above before you start pointing fingers at me. 

PS. “Anon,” I’ve got your Los Angeles/Anaheim Samsung Galaxy S10e IP address tagged. So, send me another hate Ask and you’ll get blocked. And don’t bother using a VPN...once the tag is on, it follows the user no matter what IP they use. Now you know. 

[madnessatdawn]

Fairy Ranmaru shit got real

Oh I aint done today by a long shot. Now here is the structure of the show so far. The episode is based on a theme, one of the boys gets involved with a person who is dealing with a situation that is centered around that theme.

There have only been two episodes so far. But here is the thing the inciting situation. Are things that can and do occur in real life.

Episode 1

This epi is centered around love. Ranmaru (silly purple) is trying to figure it out what it is. During this time he runs into a girl who is being harassed on Twitter. Yep, we get cyberbullying right off the bat and it ain't pretty. (Name-calling, gaslighting death threats etc)

Just like a lot of these situations. This girl in question has done nothing wrong. One of the boys in their class likes her however so does another girl, our abuser. In fact this girl has been in pursuit of the guy and has been rejected. And instead of taking this rationally and moving on nope. She's gonna harasss anyone that the boy shows the slightest bit of interest in

She took to social media, made a bunch of alt accounts, and has been heaping abusive against our poor girl. (Likely picked up a bunch of people who have nothing better to do than join the dogpile) For no other reason than the boy asked the other girl out.

In the end, fairy magic helps saves the day but not in the way you think. Our girl gets to be with the dude no problem. While the payback comes in the form of the abuser being the target of cyberbullied herself. This also happens, Twitter is the beast that eats its own tail after all.

Now I had assumed we'd be going down a similar plotline but nope. We're going on to a different form of toxic attachment.

The next episode is about wrath. Where Homaru (red pepper) helps a mangaka who wants to write her own story. Unfortunately, her editor is not having it. He wants her to draw what he wants and doesn't give a shit about her opinion or ideas unless they fit with what he wants. I hate to say this but this is a universal issue you see this in western and eastern industry and creative field. Bad editors who treat artists as a way to make their own stories instead of working with the artist to make the artist's story better.

This gets to the point where this asshole takes her original ideas and decides naw I'm gonna redo and make it into my own story. God did I want to slap this piece of shit. The fight was interesting in that Homaru harnessed our girls anger of the situation to get enough power to fight. GET MAD GIRL FUCK THAT GUY AND HIS MOE BULLSHIT!

After our magical battle in this one, the girl gets a new editor who does their job. Meanwhile, the Ex-editor gets fired, the dude has been doing that shit to other mangaka as well. Next episode is gonna be on Envy and I'm interested to see if the inciting incidents will keep being about shit that happens in the real world that are fucky.

[ecoamerica]

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[daydreamrry]

ok so I’m gonna rant about how fucked up this fandom is and how I ended up getting KICKED OUT ( I literally got kicked out. Like asked to fucking leave) of the harrie fandom/ stan Twitter lmfaoo

So one of my biggest pet peeves are people who a.) don’t take accountability for their shit and b.) act like two faced hypocrites

A couple years ago one of my bestest friends ( who I met over stan Twitter) called me in hysterics bc she saw all over her tl people making fun of her and her body. A quick look at her bio you would know that she suffers terribly with an ED and these are the people that are supposed to TPWK?? Yea ok sure. Harries are infamous for their performative activism.

So that pissed me off and anytime I would confront a moot who was part of the bullying their response was “but my moots were doing it” or “it’s not that deep lmao it’s just a joke” these are 20 fucking something year old bitches who really think that just bc some stranger on the internet thought it was ok to bully someone then it’s cool if everyone did it ?? Like make that make sense to me.

I ended up going off like that was my last straw. I can send you ss of my thread that I made before I deleted my account but basically I said how fucked up and how entitled ppl get behind a Harry pfp and long story short I ended up getting kicked out bc “that’s how we do things here” and “ clearly i think im to cool for the fandom” and I’m “ Turing into ms. Righteous” 🙄 all bc I said that cyber bullying isn’t ok and keeping 20 year old bitches accountable for their mistakes.

I also went to One Night Only in 2019 and I literally watched a girl get jumped by other fans. Turns out ( I saw it later on twitter that night) the girl who got jumped showed up in jeans and t-shirt and god forbid someone feel comfortable at a damn near 2 hour long concert 🙄

All in all harries love to act like rainbows and butterflies when anyone on Harry’s team is active on social media but they are really the most toxic cult community I’ve ever seen. The fandom is so divided with who they ship him with to having full fights and throwing slurs over if Dunkirk or LHH is better.

Anyways that’s my two cents. This turned out to be Waugh longer than I expected lmaoo

the way my jaw dropped while reading this, i don't even have words. this is why i choose to stay away from twitter, knowing that is where all of the toxic fans are, and i don't interact with a lot of harry related tik tok videos either because even the tik tok community is toxic. the worst part is that these are literal adults who act this immature and childish. the teenage harries are young and very gullible, and the way these adult fans are acting tells the young ones that it's okay to be disrespectful and cyberbully people. how fucked up is that? you can't do anything in this fandom and i mean anything. you can't say that you don't like one outfit of harry's, you can't say that you don't like one of his songs, you can't say that his girlfriend is problematic, you can't say that he should be more grateful for his fans, you can't say a single thing without being attacked and it's gross. guarantee these are the same people who have "TPWK" in their bio. harry deserves so much better. it's always the kind, most genuine celebrities who have the worst fans, and these fans are the ones who put a bad image on harry.

[420pogpills]

// negative....at this point it's very clear to see that no one on twitter will ever be happy/find peace. They demand an apology, the apology is given, cue the hundreds of "still doesnt mean I'll forgive you" tweets that are from the SAME people who demanded the apology in the first place. they constantly hate on ccs who stream on some special days that no one knew about or could know when it only takes 1-2 hours away from the day. theyll get pissed off at their moots for trending stream-related things, but dont bat a single eye when the main trending page is 90% sports related, but because its "our boys" its suddenly we're being inconsiderate. If mcyttwt are gonna get mad at themselves, then keep that same energy for other things or dont do it anything at all.

not to mention the superiority complex they have since I've seen so many shit takes become canon to the lore because ccs think that's what the whole fandom thinks and they're not on any other social media

i do understand that this generation is working hard at making the world a better place, at opening people’s minds and trying hard to make people unlearn all the internalised bullshit they’ve been taught from a young age. that is all fine. but i don’t agree with the approach a lot of people take. 

for example, i mentioned earlier i saw a fan tweet something ill-timed - she was upset that as it turns out karl won’t be streaming roblox. was that a little insensitive? yes. is she allowed to be upset that she won’t be getting a comfort stream? also yes. did she deserve to have her mentions overflow with hate comments, people telling her they can’t stand fans like her, and someone even going as far as telling her to k**l herself? that is WRONG. that is not how you educate people, that is not how you talk to people period. you’re so focused on one issue that you create other problems. educating someone and cyberbullying them should not fall in the same category. all someone needed to do was tell her ‘hey girl this is a little insensitive right now, probably not the best time to tweet it!’ and instead she just gets attacked. i do not understand it.

we need to help each other, we need to be more understanding. it’s not all black and white, it never will be. we are all complex characters, all of different ages and being raised in different parts of the world with different backgrounds. so we learn different things. it’s hard to keep up with everything you need to learn and it’s even harder to unlearn the things you grew up being taught. i just know this can be done in a little more positive manner. 

[mama-tumblz]

I feel divided. One side of me is protective of Sam and feels bad for the stress cyber bullying has been causing him. The other side is pissed off he's being either a manipulator or out of touch by taking no responsibility for legitimate criticism that has come his way and making it seem like it's all the same. I wanna think he's speaking from the heart, but he's doubling down on the narrative. It's hard to reconcile the one with the other.

I get it, and not that I don’t take bullying or cyberstalking seriously.  I certainly do, and I know it’s been a thing with them for a while.  Sam commented on Twitter a while ago that this was ongoing, someone had been caught and his comment was “more to come.”  The man can’t be within range of a female, whether online, in the middle of the street, or  at Buckingham Palace, without the girl getting hate and horrible drama breaking out on her sm accounts.  It’s disgusting.  They have Big Al for a reason and you can see at any live event, and we’ve heard from the after parties too how Sam watches over Cait and makes sure she’s always in sight.  But...you knew there was a but coming... this latest round has been relentless because of the pandemic, because of how he said himself that he booked a vacation in the middle of it, because he lashed out at fans who called him on it, and because wherever he is he wants us to think he’s still in Hawaii  a month later.  I’m not sure how many of the dates have been shifted or how much of it all is true but I suspect that from Sam’s real life perspective the story goes nothing like what they’re spinning.  So while I’m sorry that people are assholes and there is bullying going on, his own people have taken advantage of the fact that the fandom is like this and used us to drop names, dates, and pictures to kickstart their narratives from the start.  And now they’re using the fact that Sam is being harassed to get us talking about that instead of the narrative we were whipped up about a few days ago, and it’s working.  That hangdog expression in those videos breaks my heart actually.  He looks defeated.  But I don’t believe it’s because he’s been cyberbullied for the last six years.  I think it’s because this last gig has been the final straw and he’s stuck looking like a cad, unable to tell the truth and hating living the lie.

[problematicwelshman]

No heat, no hate. I know you are all thriving about the situation. That’s what you wanted. I wish I could ask you to sit this one out and not make fun of him, crucify him, attack him. I do believe he only saw the first part of the tweet and was already on a blocking spree cause people were been really mean. This is just unfair and I say it as a black woman. He doesn’t deserve this but I know you won’t see this way. And he retweeted, donated. But it’s never enough. Have a good one.

After receiving a wave of anons (and not anons) about this whole mess, I’ve decided I am going to lump all the answers into one.  

I’m actually *not* thriving about the situation.  Contrary to popular belief, I don’t want Michael to fail.  I take no joy in Michael's weirdness lately.

I was annoyed about Staged 2, yes. I thought Staged was a fun idea- levity to cheer people up in the growing pandemic, and it worked, even though I didn’t like most of it. (for reasons I’ve gone into ad nauseam- so I won’t revisit)  I personally think Staged 2 is a cash grab, and that if they go with the “we’re so talented and stuck at home woe is us” it’ll piss people off because many of us *are* stuck at home, whereas the two stars have gone out and done a bunch of work and vacationing etc.  So I’m annoyed about Staged 2.  

I was ENRAGED at the response to “Mary” and her tweet.  As has been pointed out before, Michael can block whomever he chooses, and for whatever reason he chooses.  Block everyone.  NBD.  But when he deliberately goes out of his way to be bitchy and “feral” it unleashes his fans and lends tacit approval to their online bullying and harassment. Does he himself bully and harass? No.  But take a look at something called “Cyberbullying by Proxy.” According to ipredator.co it’s “a cyberbullying tactic describing a cyberbully who encourages, deceives or persuades other online users to harass a target.”  I believe that by responding in the manner he did to “Mary,” Michael was engaging in cyberbullying by proxy, whether he realized it or not.  By pointing her out in a “feral” manner rather than just blocking her and moving on, he opened her up to harassment and bullying by his fans, including threats of violence.  (Oh but that was a joke!  No- it was a threat.  The “joke-er” does not get to decide how the “joke” comes across to other people.)  Adding the petition was not “feral” and it was not funny.  It was a mean spirited and petty response to what was a nothing blip.  So she didn’t like Staged.  BFD. Move on.

Now- this last thing I honestly think is so crackpot I can’t wrap my brain around it. I think he did the right thing FOR HIM by blocking the person who called him out about BLM. I am a firm believer in blocking whoever TF you want. You don't owe anyone any space in your life.  And he did it quietly and without being a twat about it. It’s so much better than him making another petition or publicly saying some stupid, petty shit to her.  Growth?

But the the Stans' reactions??  That got crazy real fast.  The blockee tweeted that she’d been blocked and the Stans went into overload- tagging him, begging him to unblock her, etc.  Much like in February when he “accidentally” blocked someone else and they begged him to unblock. But this time took a weird turn and people started chiming in on both sides? TBH I don’t follow any of this on Twitter, getting all my drama secondhand.  

What did catch my eye though were the calls for civility to and no swarming of other fans or accounts.  Really? Civility and no swarming now? Because that hasn’t been remotely in the playbook so far.  Ask anyone who’s been on the receiving end of the Sheendom.  But what really lit my fuse was a comment about "It was fun [him blocking etc.] when it was PJ" and you know what?  You don’t get to pick when bullying is fun and when it isn’t. If your friend that he blocked is a human being with feelings behind a keyboard, then so are the other people he blocked. It isn’t ever fun, and just because it’s not aimed at you or your friends doesn’t make it okay.  

I felt bad for the girl who got blocked, not because she was blocked, mind you, but because of the firestorm she found herself in.  And for that I blame the fans, not the man.

TL;DR-  This shit makes my head spin, and no- I am not thriving because of it.

[souryogurt64]

I'm really weird like this but I feel like if the Ultra Q fandom gets as big as the swmrs one, the fandom will end up being toxic, and that would make me pretty upset. I love how chill everyone in the fandom is rn and since it's smaller it feels more personal?? That's just me.

fandom is always bad to some extent but yeah everybody wants their band to stay little 

but i feel like part of why the swmrs fandom got so terrible is because joey and max played favorites harder than any band has ever played favorites. and had a group that got special treatment viciously cyberbullied anybody who ever criticized anything swmrs did, anybody swmrs didnt like, or anybody they didnt like. joey and max actively rewarded bullying with more special treatment and shoutouts so these people got more e-clout to harass people with. because two adult men, got off on some sort of weird power trip to puppeteer natural teen girl cruelty and sadism like this i guess??? 

like sometimes it was kind of funny. band rivalries are a time honored tradition but there is a massive difference between mildly beefing with a few other fully adult pop punk men and harassing someones underage ex lol. at no point was this a classy or normal way to act for anyone involved and a lot of those people knew joey and lydia were at least rumored to be involved 

i dont fully blame those people because they were p young and swmrs had a lot of influence over them im sure. but im about the same age and i sure as fuck knew not to act like that and that this behavior was incredibly cruel, inappropriate, and wrong, and i even emailed swmrs in 2017 about it complaining and nobody ever responded 

ultra q are incredibly shy and withdrawn. i highly doubt they would ever do something like this just based off how they have acted for the last 4 years. theyve gotten less shy as theyve gotten a bit older but i think its just how they are lol. im not saying theyre feminist kings or anything, im just saying theyre little weenies. i dont think they have the charisma or desire to pit teen girls against each other on twitter for entertainment. 

also most of that whole group nuked any trust or clout they had with bands because they thought it was cute and funny to post innocuous text conversations and make wild accusations against random people who like, didnt give them free rides. because it would give them a few points on twitter that week. again very cruel and not normal. swmrs suck and all, but im sure ultra q are never going to trust those people again and keep as much distance as possible. 

BUT ANYWAY, i personally think a lot of ultra q fandom is already not great because the jakob discord was terrible and most of them hate destroy boys but im sure it will get worse when there’s an influx of new ppl 

and that is just me and im really really cranky so if you are having a good time i am glad you are vibing

[bubbelpop2]

on i-am-a-fish

y’all really are just so insecure with how shitty you are that you want to cancel the one thing on this site that is just pure and wholesome and accepting of everyone, huh? You couldn’t do it for a joke that he apologized for and learned from, so you were just so fucking pleased by the fact that he was accidentally following an anime blog that you didn’t like that you just fucking cyberbullied the nicest, kindest, and heartwarming thing on this website off to fucking twitter. Don’t ever tell someone to kill themselves over something on the internet like this. This is a very serious accusation, and you shouldn’t fucking throw it at anyone and tell them to kys just because you don’t like them.

I-am-a-fish, in case you don’t know, accidentally followed a blog that produces content of anime girls. Young anime girls, a cute character trope called a “loli” is a portrayal of a child in anime, who often wear a antique doll-like fashion. AKA: not real people, and also not nsfw content of those people, because this is tumblr and nsfw isn’t allowed. 

He didn’t look at images of real girls, 

He did not endorse such behavior

He was following the blog on accident and you have absolutely no tangible evidence to suggest otherwise.

He did not interact with any minors in a harmful way,

and most of all, he’s not attracted to minors. Which i’m pretty sure is the definition of a pedo.

I-am-a-fish, awhile ago, helped me in my transition a lot. They reblogged a help post I made, which got thousands of notes, and people left donations to me and commissioned me, and I was able to pay my bills, afford a safer binder for myself, as well as a haircut and some ftm packing supplies. He absolutely changed my life, and helped me to have things that I wouldn’t have been able to afford otherwise, living check-to-check as a minor. He absolutely deserves the world and I’ll be damned if i’m gonna let the one good thing on this website get bullied off on bullshit accusations just because you all want to cancel everything that breathes.

 And for those of you that are with me? Check out this post with my opinion on “problematic/cancel” culture. We can’t keep letting this happen. This isn’t about fish anymore, and we need to address a HUGE issue on tumblr with people trying to police other people. It’s like the fuckin salem witch trials for fucks sake.

And, guys? Your online actions have real life consequences. You could be arrested for telling someone to kill themselves.

Suicide-baiting, cyberharassmemt, cyberstalking, death/rape threats, and hate speech are illegal in all 50 states as well as Australia and the UK.

not related but similar posts that you people need to see about “problematic” culture.

[lighthouselio]

get to know your mutuals!! when you get this, it means someone wants to know more about you, so list 5 things about yourself you want your followers to know. they can be as simple as your age or as complex as your deepest fear, as long as it’s something you’re comfortable with sharing. when you’re done, send this to 10 people you want to get to know better!! :D

!!! Worm!! Here we go!! :0

1. I'm allergic to 22 different food items

2. Tumblr is the only social media I have!! Aside from pinterest, but I don't really count that since I don't use it to interact with people? Anyway, I've thought of getting an insta or twitter but like,, cyberbullying really makes social media hit different 😔👊👋

3. Currently talking to this girl & trying my hardest to see if I like her romantically??? The biggest thing that's throwing me off is that we've known each other since middle school, and then we fell outta close contact for a while, so I worry that she has these preconceived notions about who I am based on who I was back then. I mean, she's really sweet and considerate, it's just. That. I mean there's ALSO the Self Esteem Issues but that's to be expected

4. I'm working on a big mural on my closet doors!! Not sure what will become of them when I move out but yknow, it's nice!

5. I have a cat!! Her name is Star, she likes to be held like a baby :,)

[norringtondeservestheworld]

In the past days, there was a poll on Twitter for the best Game of Thrones couple. The options were Jaime & Cersei, Daenerys & Jon Snow, Arya & Gendry and obviously Jaime & Brienne. I used Twitter just once on 2012 I think (that’s why after all this, I deleted it)?? but I decided to log to vote. Not that my vote was needed, since Braime was winning with the 65%.  Anyway, I noticed that every Braime comment got a replied by a Twincest shipper who, in a very mature way, posted photos with fishes that mock the Braime Kiss.

Moreover, a different Twincest shipper and a Braime one started to debate, the first claiming that Jaime loved Cersei and it’s canon and the second claiming he returned to her because of the child. And I decided to share my opinion, as diplomatically as possible, because I didn’t want argue. I just wanted to saywhat I thought. So, in a very respectful way, I explained my point of view. Here what I said.

When the poll ended with the victory of Jaime and Brienne, I started to get a lot of replies from a lot of Twincest shippers (probably pissed for Braime winning), but instead of comment what I said, they simply attacked me and insulted me. And the more I was nice and respectul, the more they were offensive. That’s why I posted some of the things I wrote. Because I want to prove that I have always been respectful and the only thing I was doing was explaining my point of view. Unlike them. Here what they said.

And when I bring them evidence that even Jaime and Cersei’s actors prefer Jaime and Brienne to Jaime and Cersei, they can’t stop insulting me, as If they are able to speak only using insults.

“Cyberbullying is a form of bullying or harassment using electronic means. Cyberbullying includes sending, posting, or sharing negative, harmful, false, or mean content about someone else.” Yes, I know it’s not a serious form of Cyberbullying since there weren’t threats of death like sometimes happens on these situations, but all of this happened in a couple of hours. I got like 3-4 replies from different bullies for every comment I made (there were that much and I read some comments not before the ending of all this) And the fact that they passed so quickly to insult someone in just few hours without a logical reason made me realize what was happening. So yeah, still Cyberbullying for me. You know, when I was younger and I was still going to school, some of my classmates mocked me all the time because I was a tomboy. I didn’t wear make up, I didn’t take care of my hair and my appearance as other girls did (and one of them told me that nobody would have wanted me) and one of my best friends was mocked too, because he got weight because of a tonsil operation he had. I didn’t consider it bullying at the time because I was naive, and because I thought it was my fault. They never passed a line and they never did anything of pshysical towards us, but they still hurted our feelings, because we both were more fragile. Now I am different person. I am matured. I’m still a tomboy who doesn’t wear make up, but I don’t care about other people’s opinion (except of the people I truly respect) so this behavior doesn't hurt me anymore. So when I read these insults towards me, I didn’t feel hurted. I was just.. confused? I simply didn’t understand how expressing an opinion would lead to this. At first, I thought I was wrong to comment in the first place, that I shouldn’t have done that, but then I thought “wait.. I did nothing wrong. All I did was sharing my point of view and I have always been respectful towards them. I never said a single word against them, while the only thing they did was insulting me instead of read what I wrote.” So these insults didn’t touched me. I am not perfect, but I am happy of who I am. I can look myself at the mirror without feeling ashamed. But as I said, I haven’t always been like this. If this happened years ago, probably I would be hurted. But now I am a different person, and probably the mocking at high school helped me and made me stronger enough to understand it. So I stopped paying attention to what they wrote to me refusing myself to read all the comments I didn’t see the first time and blocking them because I understood what was really happening and who was wrong in that situation. But what would have happened if there had been a younger and more easily influenced person in my place? Someone who can't stop reading and being deeply hurted by every comment? Someone who could start believing they deserve all this hatred? There are people out there more fragile and sadder than me because of something bad that is happening in their life and other problems, and these kind of bullying towards them could be very dangerous. PEOPLE DIE BECAUSE OF IT. It feels strange to talk about something so personal like my past on internet, but I wanted to say all of this, because we need to stop to confuse a simple childishness with Cyberbullying/bullying. 

Everyone who is or was bullied/cyberbullied that now is reading this post, I want you to know that YOU MATTER. YOU ARE IMPORTANT. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF. It doesn’t matter what they say to you, it doesn’t matter if you answer them asking to stop or simply cry for hours, if you did nothing wrong towards them or you just been kind and respectful, YOU will always be the BETTER PERSON at the end of the day, and THEY will be the ones that one day they’ll have to deal with their actions. I never did nothing towards my classmates, but I still got mocked. I’ve been respectful on the internet towards other people and their opinion, but I still been cyberbullied. That’s why I did this post, with both my comments and their comments. To show you that not matter how respecful and nice you are, because bullies don’t want to have a debate with you. The only thing they want is hurt you because you are a better person than them. People who act that way are rotten inside. Don’t let their rot reach you.

Everyone who is a bully who acted on this way on the internet or in real life, towards a stranger or someone they know, that now is reading this post, you are a disgusting person for having fun mocking someone else and hurting real people. You think to be big and strong to insult someone hiding in your home behind your PC? The only thing you’ll get with this behaivour is infecting your soul and making your victims stronger. Oh, get the fuck off my blog. I don’t want you here. Oh, and I want to be clear. This isn’t about Twincest shippers being bad and Braime shippers being good. This is about garbage people harassing other people because they are that petty to be unable to deal with a different opinion and because they are empty inside. This post talked about them because it’s what happened to me. If we switch things and it was the Braime shippers being bullies against Twincest shippers, it would be disgusting in the same way. I have no problems with Twincest shippers. I have problems with Twincest shippers acting this way and bullying others. It doesn’t matter the ship. It doesn’t matter the topic.  DON’T. FUCKING. BULLY. PEOPLE.

[addictedforbooksquad]

B O O K  R E V I E W

╙ G I R L  G O N E  V I R A L  B Y  A L I S H A  R A I

genre: romance, contemporary, new adult

publication date: April 21st, 2020

rating (1-5 scale):

writing:   ★ ★ ★ ★

characters & character development: ★ ★ ★ ★ 

could-not-put-it-down factor: ★ ★ ★

general rating: ★ ★ ★ ★

*ARC received from the publisher via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review*

WARNING: CONTAINS (MILD?) SPOILERS!

Recently, I got myself a reading date and took this book out for a quiet night in. The verdict? I've got the zings! In terms of getting into the story, this one took its sweet time to pull me in. But once it finally did? I've been a goner. There are still not that many authors who write romance the way Alisha Rai does and I think that's a travesty. Her stories are effortlessly diverse, socially aware, sensitive and well thought-out. Some might say this doesn't leave much room for romance but I wholeheartedly disagree.

Was the love story between Katrina and Jas one of star-crossed lovers variety or a fateful meet-cute over the last bagel in their favourite cafe? Nope. But it didn't make it any less riveting. At its core, "Girl Gone Viral" is a story about two people who have known and pined for each other for years, with only the recent extraordinary circumstances allowing them to slowly break out of their shells. It takes them some time to get there, but once they do - it's on. And what I loved about Katrina and Jas' relationship, apart from how incredibly respectful and supportive they were to each other, was how they communicated. Sure, it starts off with a bit of a "what does the other feel" guessing game but then they progress to talking about their feelings and there's no unnecessary angst or drama with breaking them apart for some stupid convoluted reason.

And you know what, I don't think it's easy to write a romance like that: full of passion - but quiet passion; full of love - but quiet "I've been eating breakfast you made for me every single day for years even though I don't really like breakfast" love; full of gestures - not grand but "I will help you get through a panic attack" kind (which makes them all that much grander, in my opinion). I was hooked all the same. I was hooked that much more. I mentioned how effortlessly diverse Alisha Rai's writing is. For one, most of her characters are people of colour. While she writes F/M romance, she includes quite a lot of casual queer rep. And she tackles mental health issues like no other romance author I've read. In this book, Jas suffers from PTSD after his time in military and Katrina suffers both from PTSD and panic disorder. While I'm in no way an expert, I could tell that Rai took great care and probably a hefty amount of research to write about these issues in a thoughtful way. Her writing covers a lot - from descriptions of copying mechanisms to random mentions of therapy sessions, which I think is a great way to help remove stigma still surrounding mental health. I also loved how other characters in this story behaved. Katrina (and also Jas, to some extent) had a great support system in terms of friends and/or family. I'm always looking for all these connections and relationships on top of a budding romance - after all, people do not live in a void. Here, my craving was satisfied. Not only the author included some wonderful female friendships (YAY!), but I got some bromance too, not to mention a family working out their issues.

"Coddling was such an infantilizing word for respecting the wishes of an adult and encouraging them to take things at their own pace."

More than this, I LOVED how respectful (almost) everyone was when it came to Katrina's panic disorder or Jas' PTSD. Sometimes friends can be well-meaning but come off as condescending instead. Here, all Katrina's friends as well as Jas trusted and respected her wishes and knew that she knew her feelings and limitations and how to handle them best. This may seems obvious but it's not. Same with respecting other people's personal space! As a person who HATES being touched without warning and/or permission, I practically purred with happiness any time someone ASKED before giving Katrina a hug. Since this series and particularly the premise of this book deals a lot with internet and modern ways of romance, "Girl Gone Viral" also tackles a very relevant topic of right to privacy, anonymity in the internet, cyberbullying and more. I thought this was a very interesting and important take on it, from a perspective of Katrina who is someone who not only wants anonymity, she needs it to feel safe. And when that anonymity is threatened, she feels violated. I remember some time ago there was a thread on twitter that had gone viral, with someone (supposedly) live tweeting some couple's meet cute and conversation in the cafe - perhaps it's the very same that inspired the premise of this book. At the time I thought it was harmless and cute, but this story made me look at it from a different angle. Not everyone wants to be famous. Not everyone wants to be a trend on twitter. Just food for thought. Again, some might say all of this felt "too preachy" or "too politically correct". And yet again, I wholeheartedly disagree. Is it such a radical concept, to write about people being kind and considerate? What is being "politically correct" other than simply being mindful of others? Should love stories only be reserved for white, thin, perfectly healthy people? Just more food for thought, I guess.

"Happiness is a radical act."

This book made me feel so much. I was engrossed and invested in the characters and their happiness. And because of all that Katrina and Jas went through, it made me think about how hard it actually is to be happy, truly happy, in today's world. It takes strength and courage and not a small amount of hope to push forward and push yourself, work on your issues or keep doing what makes you happy, even when some people insist on knowing better what's best for you and what you "should" want. Yet, their story left me feeling strangely optimistic and happy. Maybe because of the wonderful support system both these characters had. Because, it seems to me, as long as you surround yourself with the kind of people who love you and are right for you - happiness is not such a radical concept after all. Trigger / content warning: PTSD, graphic descriptions of panic attacks, mentions of parental abuse & emotional abuse

[angelic-holland]

First Insecurity - you

Summary: at one point or another, everyone gets insecure about their relationship for one reason or another.

Warnings: fluffy angst, cyberbullying, insecurities

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: back to longer ones, adding everyone from my taglist! if you want to be added, check out my bio. italics between (***) is a flashback, italics with (””) are tweets. Check out the rest of the series in my masterlist!

You were grateful, you really were, for the people you knew were only getting tattoos from you because you were Tom Holland’s girlfriend. If that’s what brought people to your chair, so be it, you had your license, your apprenticeship would take as long as you needed to get down the basics of several styles of tattoos before you could become a “professional” and start to really specialize in one area. Bryce said you’d be an apprentice for around a year, just like he was. Which just meant very cheap tattoos, translating into working very long hours tattooing before going to your second job. It was silly, but you wanted to save up enough to visit Tom as a surprise and airfare was so goddamn expensive.

You worked at a grocery store near your apartment on the late shift, you’d tattoo, tattoo, tattoo, and then change into your uniform and ring the occasional customer in at the 24-hour store from 10pm to 3am, then collapse in your bed and sleep before starting it all over again. And airfare was expensive. But he only just left a little over a week ago for London and you missed him. You always missed him.

This client was a girl, 19, very excited about working with you, rambling on and on about how Spiderman is her favorite superhero and could you “please tattoo Spiderman upside down hanging by his web on my arm.”

You sigh, sitting her down and talking to her seriously about the tattoo, would she want it forever, would she get bored with it, will she be okay with sitting for upwards of five hours that it would take to get the detailing just right. 

And she’d talk longer than you needed to hear about how important this was to her, how important Spiderman and Marvel and this was to her. 

“Okay,” you would sigh because Bryce would tell you if the idea was there, don’t turn down a client, not when you’re an apprentice and you’re living off of charging 25 dollars an hour and tips.

And you knew she was going to ask, about halfway through the outline of the tattoo she does, they always do. 

“So you’re dating Tom Holland.”

“Yes, I am,” you say with a forced smile.

“That’s cool. Always thought he was dating Zendaya, she’s really pretty.”

You hum, this was the first you’ve heard of that. But then again maybe your other clients that were fans of Tom were a little older or just had a better grasp of tattoo etiquette, including not asking personal questions. 

“Was he dating her before he dated you?”

“So why’d you decided to get the Spiderman tattoo? Is Tom your favorite Spiderman? Or Andrew Garfield, Tobey McGuire?” You ask, changing the subject because one, you had no idea, two, it wasn’t this girls business either.

“I like Tom’s the best. I’m really excited for the new movie.”

“Oh yeah? Me too,” you grin. 

The rest of the tattoo went by relatively quicker, she rambled about her ideas for Far From Home and you listened, taking in all her theories because you already knew what happened.

***

You and Tom arrived back at your apartment, he was practically carrying you, your arm around his back, head on his shoulder as your sleepy legs carried you up the stairs and to your front door. 

“You know what happens in Endgame right?” He asks as you sleepily take off your clothes to get ready for bed.

“Yes, cause you spoiled it for me, haven’t seen it yet though,” you mumble as you both walk to the bathroom to brush your teeth. 

“Oh you’re right,” Tom laughs, “sorry”.

You all but collapse onto the bed, Tom holding you tight against his chest. 

“I like you spoiling things, I hate being on edge and I hate surprises.”

“Did you hate me showing up for your graduation?”

“No, that was a really good surprise,” you giggle as his hand brushed your hair off your shoulder, tickling you slightly. 

“Want me to spoil the Spiderman movie for you?”

“Yes please,” you say, fingers running up and down his leg, laying on top of your own.

***

That night, after the Spiderman tattoo which you were quite proud of, you opened up twitter, you still had access to Tattoo Dice’s twitter which you never really used. 

You don’t know exactly why you did but after scrolling through tweets with Tom’s name you came to a few tweets with him and Zendaya. 

Wow.

She was pretty. Not just pretty, absolutely gorgeous. 

You just kept scrolling, laughing at some tweets that talked about how they looked at each other during interviews, claiming that was ‘love’. It was funny to you, until you came across something rather nasty with your name. 

It was a picture of you and Tom at Coney Island, Harry didn’t take it, someone else must’ve. You were being funny, each holding an arm of your teddy bear, swaying between the two of you.

“It’s like a kid,” Tom had laughed, and you turned pale thinking about a kid, your face slightly mortified before shaking out of it.

But of course, the picture showed your face scrunched up in mild horror.

Next to it was a picture of Tom and Zendaya on set of his movie, they were smiling wide at something they were being shown.

The caption made you grimace, “Tom and y/n versus tom and z, tell me again which one he’s dating”.

And maybe curiosity killed the cat because it also took a stab at you. 

You were pretty confident, in your art skills, in your flirting, you’ve never felt insecure in a relationship before. But maybe because you were all of a sudden dating this big star and you now see that half of his fans want him and Zendaya to be together.

Each tweet was another chip away at your hardened exterior and you hated it, your mind telling you to stop scrolling but you just can’t.

“I don’t know who they’re trying to fool but one public outing with a girl he hooked up with back in March? Is that their way of saying him and Z aren’t dating? Clowns”

“Tom and Z have been dating since they wrapped Homecoming, stop freaking out over a post clearly made by his publicist”

“I mean it’s the worst scam, Tom looks like royalty next to a tatted gutter rat.”

Holy fuck people were brutal. Tatted gutter rat. 

You felt tears well in your eyes, damn it. 

Tatted gutter rat. 

You laughed, a choked out sob of sorts, “tatted gutter rat,” you giggled.

Jesus.

You were about to exit Twitter, the toxic hell site it is when Tom’s goofy face popped up on your screen, showing that he wanted to FaceTime you.

You quickly hit the green button, shuffling up so your back was against your pillow.

“Hey,” he smiles before taking in your appearance. 

You had a goofy smile but your eyes were red rimmed with tears. 

“What’s wrong princess?” He asks, head resting on his hand. 

“Do I resemble a tatted gutter rat?” You say, struggling to speak between giggles.

“I’m sorry, a what?”

“I’ve been told, haha,” told was a funny word, you were nosy and this is what it got you, “that I resemble a tatted gutter rat.”

“Well let’s see, I haven’t personally seen a gutter rat but I doubt you look like one. And hey, you’re my tatted gutter rat.”

You saw a twinkle in his eyes when he said you were his, making you bite your lip and smile. 

“Wait, who’s saying you’re a tatted gutter rat?”

“Some rando,” you sigh as he runs his hand through his hair. 

“On twitter wasn’t it?”

“Maybe,” you scrunch your face up, you’re a terrible liar.

“You shouldn’t look on there, I sure as hell don’t,” he laughs and you feel a wave of calm rush over you. 

Thud, thud, thud. 

Falling.

“Tom?”

Your mind rushes back to the tattoo shop, his “bye lov-,” that got cut off by your inopportune hang up. Did he- was he saying what you thought he said?

You couldn’t even think it. Because thinking it made it real and, fuck, that scared you. 

Thud thud thud.

“What’s up?” He asks, tilting his head.

Fuck it. Internet fools be damned. 

“I-, remember when I did my first tattoo? On myself?”

“Yeah?” 

“And, I hung up too soon?”

“Oh,” he sighs. 

Oh.

Oh?

You had a hard time telling what type of oh it was, his voice sort of muffled through your overseas connection. 

“You want to know what I was gonna say?”

“Maybe,” you lied again. You did. You really, really did.

“Harry’s right, I’m an idiot for waiting.”

“What?”

“I should’ve, should’ve said it in New York but I don’t know I wasn’t there for long and-,”

“And what?” You ask, arm wrapping around your knees, pulling tight to your chest.

“I was saying, ‘bye love you’.”

You weren’t one to beat around the bush. 

“Just like that?” You feel your lips curl up into a smile.

Thud, thud, thud.

Falling.

“I say it when I’m getting off the phone with family a lot.”

“So it's more just like a phrase you say, not like you meant it or anything.”

Because if he doesn’t say it now, if he avoids it then you can avoid the thundering roar of your heart against your chest, telling you to say it back.

“I usually mean it when I say it to my family, because I do love them, that is.”

His face is scrunched up and he looks a little hurt, bottom lip pouting slightly. 

“So you’re off to Bali soon right?” 

Nothing like a good old conversation change to stop the sinking feeling in your gut.

“I am,” He says, perking up.

And so you talk and talk until you notice his eyes start to droop and his phone slowly slip out of his hand.

You think he’s asleep, his breathing even as your story trails off. 

“Bye love you,” you whisper, voice soft and unsure. Not unsure about loving Tom. That was easy, he understood you, in a way nobody else quite did. He understood your underlying need to be in control quite often, your desire to make people happy through your art, your tendency to not finish movies because you fall asleep, things that individually didn’t really matter, but altogether made you you. 

And you felt comfortable, sharing parts of yourself with him you haven’t with anyone else. 

So saying “bye, love you” on the phone while he was asleep was effortless. 

The part that you were unsure of, the part that scared you the most was the little nagging part in the back of your head that said he didn’t mean it when he said it the first time. 

“Night, love you,” he mumbles as your FaceTime call ends.

Oh.

Thud, thud, thud. 

You fell. 

***

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