#but its still messed up how many people are left out of even the background or crowd shots

[clamorybus]

its insane how my small town of <10,000 is more diverse than the majority of hollywood productions that are set in major cities

[puckpocketed]

who is #43?

Hello !! First off thank u for visiting. If you clicked read more by accident rip sorry it’s a lot of text. ENJOY!!! <3

1. This was the photo reference I used. I really did mean it when i said he photographs well!! I really like how scrungly he looks at times lol. v paintable

2. here’s a timelapse for your viewing pleasure in video + gif form <3

3. Process breakdown below. I am not formally trained, so don’t take any of this as professional advice!! The way i paint has been compared to channeling some evil contract with a demon also. So um . Im saying that i dont remotely think that this is efficient or correct, its just whats comfortable for me <3

3a) the dreaded lining phase. I have 2 modes of operation when it comes to painting - either i go full-dick with fancy inking/sketching + cel shading (rare, unrefined, haven’t figured out a nice workflow yet) OR i do a very very basic chicken scratch set of lines like so:

It’s less about being realistic here and more about laying down some guide lines for the chaos ahead. If i thought i could get away with it, I would start every rendered painting i do with laying down colours — but unfortchh ive tried that before and it usually ends in really weird proportions. Even with the lines i still need to make adjustments. This is something no people except me would notice but look at the above sketch; the eyes are too big and slightly too far apart, the forehead is too small and thus the hair is also not quite big enough… I have a bad habit of drawing eyes too big on faces, they’re my favourite facial feature to draw.. i barely resisted giving him big cow eyelashes (I love big cow eyelashes… all of my OC’s and most of my more stylised fan art of characters get big cow eyelashes… god…. Big cow eyelashes SAVE ME……….)

Anyway. Structure of the face + hand somewhat established. <3

3b) Underpainting!! Okay stay with me here . Ever since i figured out i dont have to paint in 03925893853 different layers, I’ve joyfully painted on 1 layer as much as possible. I dont have the brain power all the time to be managing layers so I simply dont work with that many layers. For this painting, the skin in its entirety was painted on one layer, the hair on another layer, and the effects on the last layer. There was a placeholder background off-white/grey colour for a while there, and I duplicated the line layer — one for figuring out where to lay colours, and one hidden for later so i could check back to see how accurate to the sketch/proportions were to the actual painting. 6 layers, 2 of which i painted the bulk of the piece on, 1 more at the end.

3c) here’s where I started carving out features. I think about objects in terms of volumes and light rather than lines. i love painting and sculpting because of this!! Here you see where I’ve begun to define his features — his eyelids, his bags, his nostrils. Just refining what was there before. The suggestion of facial hair before i gave it up and left it for later (his face is so naked the WHOLE time)

3d) nose bridge highlight, suggesting his eyebrows, a cheek highlight. A touch more coral red and muted yellow pull away from the grey/blue underpainting. Strategically leaving some of it peeking through.

3e) i truly start messing with the fidelity of his features here. Red lipstick <3 and some violet/blue for shadows on the right side of his face.

3f) the part where it starts looking like q.hughes to me (though, my friend said i got his vibe pretty early on which is such a compliment.. waaaaa…..) I love this part of every painting i do. I know it’s definitely not the Correct order since other parts of the entire painting are simply Not Rendered or Done, but whos gonna stop me?? :3

I love love loveeee painting faces. Adding the little shinies to his eyes + lips + upper lip + nose … you don’t know how much of a difference it makes until you do it. Also i snatched his eyebrows

3g) i really pushed the red/coral/ochre/orange here. Note the yellow highlights on his cheekbones, the forehead, and the thin thin line of pink right between where his bottom lip ends and his chin shadow starts <- very important . To ME!!!!!!! Also highlighting his waterline and adding his lashes was so so fun <3

3h) FACIAL HAIR!!! And I started rendering his hand. Some micro adjustments made to his face for proportion check.

3i) i start painting his hair in earnest and realise his forehead is too small so i make the adjustment. I really love how it falls into his eyes in this photo. <3

3j) i make some final adjustments to his eyes — a bit smaller, closer together. And i refine the outline of his jaw, push the stylisation of it just a little.

3k) Finishing details; his flyaway hairs, his moles, a bit of texture on his face, shadows cast by his hair, his little forehead cut <3

3l) i adjusted his hand here, added more texture to his skin, refined his hair a tiny bit more, and made the decision not to fuck around painting his jersey because i wanted the focus to be his face <3

3m) Canucks blue and green. Captain at 23. His form bleeds into the background. He is the franchise.

theee most fun ive had painting anything. and i finally feel... warmed up? if that makes sense. art for me is like. if i dont do it in a while it feels like nothing goes right when i come back to it. i hate that feeling, and the most difficult hurdle to clear is letting myself feel that until i get back into my Zone. after all this time i feel like im BACK !!!!!!!

i loved painting this fella. hes SO Shaped. <3

Apologies i simply do Not have the energy to write the alt text for all of these so i hope the little blurbs are okay aslkjasdklj. i gotta post and go to bed . if u made it this far, thank you for reading!!

[skippyv20]

Skip, Julie here. The research done by amazing sleuths on Tumblr with many of those investigative people on Skippy, knew about this alleged con very early on. We have discussed it for many years but, it has taken until now for the rest of the world to even consider the last few years the Harry and wife show may possibly have been an elaborate con.

If this has been a giant con then using that as a yard stick of how millions of people have been fooled, what other major con jobs have the people of the world fallen for since 2016. Scary thought people but go over what has been happening in the world in this period. How has the world become so fractured when we were making some genuine positive strides ahead with religion, gender, race, colour living standards and living in relative peace. What has happened in less than 10 years and why.

As we know BRF are run and managed with an iron fist by the Monarch. The Monarch has the final say on anything affecting the entire Royal family. Royals are not free to gossip or divulge information without the permission of the Monarch (especially those close to the Monarch although many would not know any more than we outsiders looking in do)

As much as I adored Queen Elizabeth she was responsible for stopping this rubbish we have all been viewing. I suspect she hoped PH would come to his senses but when he didn’t she had let any deception and misconceptions run for too long. Then PP died and HM was lost ( we can’t blame her because she was bereft losing her Rock) so she really wasn’t in any position to do anything as her strength and will had been sucked out of her dealing with the barbs that kept coming from a very favourite close family member

It was left to the next Monarch to deal with.

There can be no excuse whether Pope, Monarch, President, Prime Minister, Archbishop ever taking the public for fools. If this is a con as alleged It does make you think what else did QE11 her Prime Minister, Archbishop of Canterbury and now KC cover up about goings on that affect the public. Even thinking about that and QE11 being complicit makes me very sad.

No other family member would be allowed to speak out about any of this. So we really can’t blame any of them for not speaking out personally or publicly. They really don’t have an option to talk outside the organisation.

This photoshop debacle ( no Catherine did nothing wrong) appears to have cracked ( not burst it yet) the bubble and that is a good thing for BRF members ( not King Charles though). Prince William will not have to deal with this matter when he becomes King if Charles deals with it during his reign. Sooner rather than later.

Personally I think the only way out of this whole mess now is for PH to come clean and announce what he and his wife have been up to and why. Gosh he could even do a Netflix show on it and make a lot of money or follow up with a book about it. He might actually salvage some of his reputation.

Thank you Julie!  Yes, we did ll the research years back, and it went nowhere, just rumblings now and then.  We now have a rare opportunity to keep pushing this stuff out, and hope that some brave journalist will run with it.  I think much has gone on in the background….and is still going on.  Blackmail? There are secrets the BRF don’t want out, and seeing this kabuki theatre we have witnessed….its not a stretch to think that…❤️

[thefandomtrashpit]

What's sad about MD ending is not that it's ending

Putting a read more because like a lot of my other text post, this one got long

Welp, by now I'm sure the majority of the fans have heard about the trailer for the 8th episode of Murder drones, and how that trailer is called the 'Series Final.' Of course, this is upsetting in itself. This story about these weird little robots, the world that the live in, and how this 'big bad eldritch abomination of a code error' feels like it is ending way too soon what the show has built up in its run time. There feels like there's still to many questions that are going to be left unaswered, and too many mysteries that are going to be left unsolved...but at the end of the day, it's also better to leave a series in a high note then to continue banging it out and watch it become a mess of what it originally was.

Yes, I am sad that after waiting for so long, I hear that something I was looking forward to is going to be ending with an episode that's coming up in a few weeks at this point in time. Much like a lot of other fans, I was holding onto the hope and the copium that Murder Drones would be getting a second season after Glitch finally released the awaited 8th episode. And I was very much disheartened with seeing the episode trailer being called it's series final and just the season final. But I can except than the book for this crazy little story has to come to a close. I now just hold out hope that the time the people working on the show has put into this episode will leave all us fans satisfied with where this crazy and wonderful story we all stuck around for ends.

But now it time to get into what I put in as the title. As sad before, the series coming to an end is going to be sad, but I personally don't think that's going to be the saddest part. No, I think the saddest part is going to be slow death of the memory of the show. Why I think this...Well, it's what happened to Meta Runner. This was the first show of the Glitch Productions channel, and we barely see anything about it getting talked about. Glitch didn't even so much as tweet anything about Meta Runner on the anniversary of the show, all the past merch was put under the 'Glitch Classics' section of the store, and said merch is forever sold out as no more of them are being made. Sure we got a little Tari figure in the new 'Glitch Inn' that the company is doing, but that really is only because Glitch acknowledges the fact that some fans still remember Meta Runner. Tari on the SMG4 channel has just become than just a 'quirky' background character to the other characters on that channel, her purpose of advertising her show long gone by. What was once the driving project for this indie show company has been reduced to getting nothing more than fun little call backs.

Eventually, the same is going to happened to Murder drones. The merch is going to stop being made, when the last of it gets sold that's it for it all, and it is even possibly going to be moved under the Classic section of the store to make room for whatever other projects Glitch does to be one the front page. Kevin and Luke aren't going to be talking much about the show, as there's not going to be a reason to with it being over. And eventually the projects they do after the show is going to push the shows playlist on the channel down. There is going to come a time when we look back on what happened and think 'Wow, this show only exists in references now.'

So yeah, those have been my thought about what sad about the show coming to an end.

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

Time travel, it's a funny thing really, even funnier when you take in account all the different interpretations of its inner workings. So, what if we take out boy Spider, and put him in yet another ridiculous situation like we usually do? By that I mean sending him back before even the events of the first film and letting the chaos ensue.

Spider being, well, himself wants to fix whatever he can because he's just built like that. Problem with that is time doesn't like being messed with and will throw hands to keep things as they are. What now? you may ask. Well, Spider is not one to give up easily, he'll roll up his non existing sleeves, put on his game face and.... fail miserably, dyeing a horrible death in the process.

And what now? you may ask again. You're right to be confused, but you're forgetting that there's still a baby to be born to one of the worst of the demons and a pilot, one who is yet to even be called Spider. That's right, this is a time loop.

This one will live trough life, doing the same things as the first one, getting sent back, until he too fails the same way. Then the next one, and the one after that, will do the same, on and on until, eventually, one decides to leave behind a clue for his (future/present/past?) self, just in case. And the dominoes start falling from there.

I won't go into detail of what he does because it would be way to long, but it's basically millions upon millions of tries until he get's to the "golden" run, where he's basically herding people around into "safe spots" without them knowing. Yes, he did throw a fire extinguisher at Quaritch so he would miss Grace's vitals, she still had to transfer but it worked this time (thus Kiri being born, but with her bio mom being alive and well. I leave the rest to your imagination.)

That leaves us with pretty much everyone alive (Yes, Sylwanin is alive. That's how far back he went) and casualties on the human side being kept to a minimum.

All anyone clearly saw of future Spider was the human stranger with dreaded hair, standing over Quaritch's dead body right outside the shack Jake was in ( kinda dark, I know), leading to him becoming kind of his own legend amongst the na'vi (they do figure out he's been helping them all along, their not dumb) This is also why Jake decided to dread his hair, in honor of the stranger who was saving their asses from the background.

Sadly, Spider does die one final time, sufferings from an injury he got while saving Tsu'tey from doing that funny fall. That does fix the paradox of there being two Spiders sooo, win I guess?

After that, everything goes on as normal as it can be, what with everyone being alive and all. They do eventually find the clues left behind by the MANY Spiders and piece together what happened, they don't believe it at first, but all of that, combined with Spider growing up and becoming a spiting image of the stranger leaves them with little else (Imagine learning that your sister, father and a bunch of other important people to you are still alive only because the boy you hate for being the "Spawn of that demon" was sent back in time countless times, died countless deaths, all so everyone else could have a happier life, couldn't be me)

I'm also imagining that Eywa (She's more like a literal goddess here, not full on cosmic being, but enough to see trough time) saw all of it and at the half way point was like "PLEASE STOP! Even one was enough, just please!" all the while the embodiment of Spider's will was cackling like a gremlin " I ain't even half way done!"

Best of all, Miguel O'Hara can't do shit about it (The time loop is a cannon event)

So yeah, that's my thingy to you, a bit long (sorry!) but it is there.

Ooh, well I haven't seen a Spider time travel fic yet, only ones with the other Sully's or with the people from the first movie coming forward in time.

I do loooove a time loop, it's like a little mystery to figure out exactly how the perfect series of events can pan out. I love that Quaritch still dies though, that makes me happy. Spider of COURSE had to throw a fire extinguisher.

I am fascinated by how lonely his time in the past must have been. Especially if he was still a teenage boy. And if he went back as far as saving Sylwanin, dude was like so fucking old by the time they made it to the end there. He was older than Neytiri then so his ass was like nearing the end of middle aged. His bones are creaking their way around the forest. Where did he fucking live, how did he have the supplies to breathe and care for his human needs, how did no one notice him for like forty years?? So many questions.

Also hilarious to imply Eywa had nothing at all to do with this and was just watching.

[startrekfangirl2233-writes]

Spring, 2020 - North Island Naval Base

Chapter 5 Part 2 of You Are My Soulmate

Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Reader

Description: Rooster's been on house arrest for months now. Months of Ice and Mav, his parents for all intents and purposes, constantly around. Months in which he's been thinking and thinking about Tinkerbell. How she could be his. How she's all alone. How everyone seems intent on painting her as the bad guy. But more than that, Bradley's been thinking about how sorry he is. Sorry that he hadn't said anything before that disastrous flight. Sorry that he was so stupid. Sorry that he wasn't enough.

A chance encounter on base shows him who the true culprit is, as well as how many people are on his side, on both of their sides.

Disclaimers: Misogynistic speech. Mentioned Homosexual Relationships. Angst. Flagrant disregard for protocols or Authority. Angst. Anguish.

This content presented in this story is for audiences age 18 and over only. MINORS DNI. I will not be accepting tag-list requests from Blank or Ageless Blogs for this story.

Warnings: Female!Reader

Word Count: 3465

A/N: Here’s the second part of Chapter 5! We've seen what is happening with Tinkerbell, now we're going to see what is happening with Rooster. He's a bit of a mess, but hopefully he's able to sort himself out. Thanks to @roosterforme for reading over this part when I was struggling with Rooster's perspective and giving me all the feedback!

AO3: Cross-posted Here!

Wattpad: Cross-posted Here!

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Rooster

There’s this incessant beeping in the background and all Bradley can think in that moment is that he wants it to stop. His limbs feel like they weigh a million pounds and his eyelids feel even heavier. There’s somebody talking, but a part of Bradley isn’t ready to leave the fantasy world he’d been in. Honestly, who could blame him? He’d spent time with his parents! Bradley’s not sure it was real, not really. He's too rational for that, but it feels like the balm his soul needed. Maybe it is time to wake up.

All through his time dreaming, there’s been a nagging thought in his mind. His soulmate. How is she doing? What is she doing? Did she feel his pain? Bradley can still remember what it had been like when they’d found out his dad had passed away. The Navy had sent out an honor guard with that stupid ridiculous triangular folded flag like it would automatically bring him back. But they hadn’t needed to send the guard out at all. His mom had known the second it happened. The invincible Carole Bradshaw had blanched and folded onto her knees like a marionette with its strings cut. She had gone quiet and unresponsive at first. If that wasn’t terrifying enough for a two year old, then there was the way she had screamed and screamed. 

Mom had screamed like she was the heroine in a horror movie facing down the villain. And she hadn’t stopped even when the Navy had come a-knocking. Bradley had climbed a stool and opened the door to the soundtrack of her wails. That’s the sound he hears in his nightmares. That’s why he never wanted to find his soulmate. He’s his father’s son. How could he leave behind a soulmate like his dad left his mom? It’s only inevitable after all.

When his eyes open, it's to a blinding white light. It's almost too bright for sensitive eyes that have been closed for far too long. It's obvious he's missing time, if only in that the last thing he remembers is sirens blaring and voices screaming and flames crackling. Then there had been silence, blessed, complete, silence before he’d seen his parents again.

The hospital room he's in is anything but silent. There are alarms blaring and hurried footsteps and there is the pain throbbing behind his temples. It's far too much, far too soon and it hurts. But he hadn't wanted to stay in limbo with his mom and dad, where everything was cool and quiet and calm. Bradley has a soulmate to find after all, and he’s already spent far too long without her.

It's time to live life like Carole and Goose, like his Mom and Dad, would have wanted him to. He can't be afraid of death, of loss, of pain and sorrow and suffering, not anymore. As his eyes adjust, he's faced with the other reasons why he hadn't stayed asleep. Mav and Ice. They look incredibly worn and old and tired. There are new lines creasing Mav's forehead and a tremble to Ice's hands that he's never seen before.

“Bradley, kiddo, can you hear us?” Bradley can’t do anything other than blink. His entire body feels like it weighs a ton and it takes far too much energy to even blink. But that seems to be enough for Mav and Ice. A tremulous smile curls his dad’s mouth even as tears shine and well in his tired green eyes. Mav folds into the nearest chair, his legs seemingly unable to hold him anymore even as his hand clasps securely around Bradley's own.

"Baby Goose, don't you EVER do that again." If Bradley could talk right now, he would wholeheartedly agree. When his body feels like an open burn and everything stings and aches, there is absolutely no way he would ever willingly do what he did again. The doctors pull his dad away, leaving his Pops in his place. The two of them sit like that for hours, completely still in the midst of the frantic activity that erupts as the doctors and nurses check him out and finally spoon ice chips into his parched desert mouth.

Mav's knocked out on the sofa in the corner before the iceberg his dad has turned into melts. "Bradley Bradshaw. Kid if there was any doubt that you take after your dad, both your dads, that doubt would be wiped away at this moment." Pops smiles, his voice hoarser and deeper than it was when he was a kid. Bradley knows that was the price his Uncle Ice, his Pops, paid for fighting cancer and winning. 

"Why did you do it, kiddo? Why?" There's this unreadable pain in his cool blue eyes as he stares down at Bradley.

"Because she drives me crazy, Ice." His voice is like he's been gargling a bunch of rocks.

"The AMDO Officer? Tinkerbell?" That his dad laughs makes Bradley feel irritated, like a porcupine with its spines out.

"Do you know what happened the last time I found somebody that infuriated me into doing something that stupid?"

It's a rhetorical question. One which prompts a response Bradley has been parroting for most of his life, "You married him?"

His dad's chuckle sounds like pure happiness. "Yeah, kiddo. I married him."

"So why haven't you acted on the reason why she drives you crazy yet?"

Damn him for getting exactly to the root of why this girl bothers him so much. 

"Because as much as she feels like she should be mine, she's not, Pops." His throat visibly tightens at the thought of explaining how confused about Tinkerbell that he actually is.

"She's not my soulmate. She has a soul already and Ice, he's perfect for her. He makes her smile, he takes care of her, and he's never frightened that she's not going to be able to take care of herself or that she's going to get hurt, like I am."

"If you're afraid for her, then that makes it even more likely that she's yours. Kiddo that was how I felt on the Leyte Gulf all those years ago. And how I felt when Mav and your dad went into the flat spin. It feels like your heart is in your throat while at the same time it's in a vice nobody can escape."

That description feels like a punch to the gut.

"But what if I've seen her with her soulmate? What if I know exactly who he is? I have to fly with him, Ice. Work with him. I won't destroy their love when literally anything else, hell even the Navy itself, could." Ice looks thoughtful, pushing his wire-rimmed glasses up his nose.

"Who do you think her soulmate is, kiddo? Don't tell your dad, but I can be a rule breaker every once in a while. I can see if her file has a soulmate listed." There has to be a catch right? The last thing Bradley needs is to get into trouble again.

"Seresin. Jake 'Hangman' Seresin." Before Pops can even pull out his phone or make a single call, another all too familiar voice pipes in.

"Baby Goose, there is no way, Tinkerbell's soulmate is Hangman." Mav's voice may be half asleep but it still has all of the infectious energy it always has. "I look at all of your files pretty often. Hangman has a soulmate, but kiddo, it's not Tinkerbell."

"Why else do I feel so attracted to her then, Mav?" Bradley can't keep a hold on everything he's been feeling, not anymore. He lets every sordid bit of the tale spill. From the first electric touch to the dreams and the way he wants to peacock for her.

"It kind of sounds to me like you've found her, Brad. You've found your soulmate, kid." Mav's smiling, green eyes glinting with joy in the midnight light. But the sick feeling in Bradley's chest hasn't gone away. If what his Dad and Pops are saying is true, he's treated Tinkerbell worse than he thought. He's destroyed any hopes of ever having her take him seriously. All because of a misconception? Some miscommunication? 

Mav misreads his grimace of disgust as pain, so it isn't long before his medical team is around again. When he's hopped up on the good painkillers, it feels like there isn't a thing to worry about in all the world. All of his emotions about Tinkerbell get pushed to the wayside over the next few days. First there's the pain and horror at seeing even more scars criss-cross his face when the bandages come off. Then there is the torture of the many, many rounds of physical therapy the doctors put him through.

Each session exhausts his body completely, leaving each muscle as weak as a limp noodle. But if only those sessions did the same for his mind. Since he's been released into his parents loving care, all he's been doing is thinking. About Tink, about his actions to her, about how much he regrets them. Then there were the articles plastered across the internet. The ones that little shit Taylor had spread about Tinkerbell. 

His heart hurts thinking of the pain she must be in. At least she'll have Coyote and Hangman to make sure she's safe. Her brothers. Her best friends. He wishes he could be there too. That he could have stopped Hawk before he started spreading vile rumors. That was his fault too, sadly. If he hadn't been so chicken, for lack of a better term, he would've been able to tell Tink how he felt. Or at least tell her his suspicions before crashing down to earth with his feathers on fire. Now, it’s probably too late. He can try texting Jake to see how she is, right?

What’s the likelihood that he even responds though? If Bradley were in Jake’s shoes, he wouldn’t respond to his best friend’s soulmate, especially not if he’s as big an asshole as Bradley has been. And Bradley’s not sure she’d want to see him either. As if Mav and Ice would let him onto base and out of their range of sight anyways. Hell the two of them have been so overprotective that they haven’t even let Bradley be alone in a room by himself since he was released from the hospital. But he can’t blame them. He has the feeling his mom and Goose would have acted the same way. But they’re smothering and it’s an unintentional relief when Ice drags him onto base with him one day about two months after he woke up. He’s still bandaged up and walking on crutches, but it feels like a breath of fresh air to be on base again. Even lying on the sofa in the corner of Ice’s office on base feels like a new experience today.

Of course, he’s startled out of his dozing state when Pops’ secretary announces two JAG officers into the office.

"Commanders Marks and Greybank. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Pops coughs a little, sipping on some of the tea always present on his desk. “I only wish it had been under better circumstances.”

“Admiral Kazansky, yes.” It's Marks who starts off the debrief and what Bradley hears leaves him reeling. 

“We wanted to speak to you about the incidents on base that occurred three months ago. But before we get started, we are aware that Lieutenant Bradshaw is here, and we wanted to speak to him as well.” It’s a little unwieldy to stand up and take the one remaining chair on crutches, but Bradley’s sure he manages without looking quite as ungraceful as he feels.

“You wanted to speak to me, Commanders?” Bradley’s feeling tense and worried, all of his languid ease dissipated into tension as he settles in for the conversation. 

“Yes. We wanted to confirm what you heard in Hangar Three during the first AMDO inspection that the Lieutenant Commander most commonly known as Tinkerbell presided over.” Bradley’s a little taken aback at the line of questioning, but after exchanging a look with his dad, complies. He lays out the facts as he remembers them, including the look of derision on Hawk’s face as he’d laid into Tinkerbell’s team and Tinkerbell herself. If he takes a bit of joy in describing how she put Hawk back in his place, he’s sure neither his dad nor the commanders will ever mention it. But that’s only the tip of the iceberg.

“In your opinion, did it seem that day like Hawk had formed a grudge against the Lieutenant Commander for being a woman in her position?” Faced with that blunt question, Rooster’s forced to re-examine everything Hawk has done or said in his presence since that day about Tinkerbell.

And he doesn’t like the picture being painted at the moment. “Yes, sir.” His voice is quiet, subdued. 

“Do you hold any ill will towards the Lieutenant Commander, either for her actions that day, or for her actions on the day of your accident?”

He’s blurting the word ‘NO’ out before his mind is even made up. “I do not hold any ill will towards the Lieutenant Commander, sirs.”

He doesn’t miss the telling glances the Commanders share with each other and with Admiral Kazansky, because his Pops is gone, the Admiral taking his place.

“Lieutenant Bradshaw, what would you say if we told you that we want to keep Tinkerbell from a court martial and that indeed we’re inclined to proceed with court martial proceedings against Lieutenant Junior Grade Taylor?”

“I’d be happy to help in any way I can. Tinkerbell isn’t at fault for what is happening to me. I went against her orders and got into my jet before it was flight-ready. It was not her fault.”

“There, Lieutenant Commander, we are agreed.” It’s Commander Marks who picks up the conversation. “Especially since we have video evidence that it was Hawk who sabotaged your jet.”

Bradley’s brain must shut down because he can’t believe what he’s hearing. That shit! That complete and total utter lily-livered coward! He sabotaged the jet. Hawk’s the reason why he’s in so much pain every day, the kind of pain that even a good night’s sleep can’t occlude? He deserves so much more than a court martial.

“Those news articles about Tinkerbell. Were they his doing as well?” There’s rage descending in a red film over his vision. His already pain-ridden shaky limbs quake with the force of it, silent tremors which he tries to quell by tensing his muscles.

“Yes, it appears so. We’ve been in contact with the news outlets who published those articles. The contracts Lieutenant Junior Grade Taylor signed did not include an anonymity clause. So we have the proof that he is culpable for those as well.”

There is a sick feeling roiling in his gut. It’s fighting with the rage pulsing with every beat of his heart for dominance. He barely realizes what’s happening, because all of a sudden he blinks and Commanders Marks and Greybank are being shown out of the office.

“Hey, kiddo.” 

“Kiddo?”

“Baby Goose!” It’s his childhood nickname at a near shout which shakes him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, Pops?” Bradley can hear the crack in his voice. 

“Are you going to be okay? Testifying against Taylor so soon after your own injuries?” There’s an unreadable look on his face, something trapped between fear and Iceman calm and collected. 

“Whether I’m okay or not, it doesn’t matter, Icepop.” Ice’s smile is halfway to genuine then. “All that matters is that we take that little asshole down before he hurts Tinkerbell further.”

“I agree, kiddo.” His dad sighs, slow and soft. “It’s what I would do if some idiot had been the reason why Mav had been injured. I can’t pretend to know what you’re feeling, but whatever you need, your dad and I are in your corner, yours and hers, no matter what.”

Bradley’s not ashamed in the slightest to find he’s brushing a couple of tears away.

“I have it on good authority that the Daggers are having a bit of a break right now. They should be in the ready room. Why don’t you head over there and catch up with your squad, kid? I’ll text you when I’m ready to head home.”

Bradley slips out of the door soon after, texting Mav to let him know that it looks like Pops has a killer headache if the way he is rubbing his temples is any indication. His progress down the halls of North Island are in direct contrast to any of the other times in his life where he’s positively rocketed down the halls. Usually he’s walking as fast as he can past the Admiral’s offices, because it’s well-known that everyone enlisted is a little bit paranoid around the big brass. Just because his dads are two of the members of the big brass doesn’t change that. 

His progress is halting and slow, the crutches still seem incredibly unwieldy, despite the fact that he’s been using them for months now. He still can’t wait to be away from them. When he finally shoulders the door to the ready room ready, he’s praying that it’s only the Daggers on the premises. He can’t exactly hide the new scars criss-crossing his face, they’re far too evident for that. But while he can take Hangman’s gentle (nearly loving) prodding and Payback’s ribbing, he’s not sure he can handle the less light-hearted, less fun teasing if the Top Gun class is also in the room. As is evident by his luck, or lack thereof, it’s Hawk’s bray-like laughter which greets him as he walks into the room.

He shouldn’t feel like a specimen under the microscope as he walks towards the corner with the big sofa that the Daggers have claimed. But it’s hard to feel like anything but when it feels like everyone in the room has their eyes on him. In that instant, it feels like all of his injuries are worse than they were when he walked into the room. He can almost feel whispering conversations starting up, the ones claiming that “Bradshaw’s flown his last hop, ever. Bradshaw’s been cut down in his prime.”

Of course, the moment the Daggers see him coming, he’s greeted with nothing but smiles. It’s almost too easy to sink into the easy camaraderie he has with his friends. He still feels like he’s being watched, of course, but he can ignore the prying gazes so long as he’s with his friends. Nat’s showing him pictures of what he’s missed, and he’s actually having a nice time, for the first time in what feels like forever. At least, that is, until Hawk comes swaggering up to the sofa where he’s squished between Nat, Bob, Fanboy, and Hangman of all people.

“Well, hi there, Rooster.” He’s exuding smug superiority standing there in his neatly pressed khakis. “I thought you weren’t going to show up on base for a bit longer, old man.”

He’s not deigning this asshole with a response. Not now.

“I mean, I don’t blame you for wanting to come back so soon. I would want to do the same after what that stupid bitch did to me.” Bradley can’t decide if he’s puffing up in anger or if he’s feeling the second-hand rage from Jake at his side. “And let’s be honest, old man. You’re definitely not the spring chicken you were when you got your callsign. I’d take any jump on re-establishing my dominance if I were you.”

Now Rooster can feel Nat’s rage building in addition to his own.

“I’m sure we’re all agreed that the little whore that she is got her comeuppance. She sabotaged you, after all.” 

That’s when Rooster’s tenuous control on his temper snaps. Before Hawk can blink or even gather his thoughts, he’s on the floor. His hand hurts and Hawk’s nose is bleeding. It hadn’t looked all that good earlier, either, still a little bruised and providing a horrible nasal quality to his voice. Hawk wasn’t half the looker he thought he was earlier. 

But of course, just when Rooster thinks Hawk’s finally shut his mouth, he’s back up again. He’s spitting more nonsense about Tinkerbell, hell about Rooster again, But his voice dies down when he has Hangman, Coyote, Payback and Phoenix circling him. Say what you will about the Daggers, but they’re nothing if not family. And you may think that Coyote, Payback and Hangman are scary. But they’ve got nothing on Phoenix. Especially when Rooster can see the idiot’s face blanche at what she whispers into his ear. The court martial proceedings cannot come soon enough.

I DO NOT CONSENT TO HAVE MY WORK POSTED, TRANSLATED, OR PUBLISHED ON ANY SITES OTHER THAN HERE, ON WATTPAD, OR ON AO3 BY ME. IF YOU SEE MY WORKS ANYWHERE OTHER THAN HERE, ON WATTPAD, OR AO3, THEN THEY HAVE BEEN POSTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION AND I WILL BE WORKING TO TAKE THEM DOWN.

Taglist:

 @roosters-girl @infamous-reindeer @caitsymichelle13  @mattyskies @cosmic-psychickitty @mygyn  @julesclues @greenbaby12 @bubblegumbeautyqueen  @briseisgone @soulmates8  @meganlpie  @captain-fandomwriter58 @caidi-paris @mazzbarnes  @super-btstrash-posts @eli2447 @chaoticassidy  @kmc1989 @abaker74 @marvelouslyme96  @faithiegirl01  @shanimallina87 @desert-fern @dakotakazansky @horseshoegirl @sarahsmi13s @teacupsandtopgun @roosterforme @mak-32 @thedroneranger @beyondthesefourwalls

[the-scaredy-crow]

Character Intro

Book: Kindling Bones🔥🦴Intro🦴🔥

Three years ago, Rhys Grives almost died, pinned in the middle of a warehouse fire. After the smoke cleared, Rhys woke up in the hospital impossibly alive. His brother, he was told, did not get as lucky. Rhys is convinced, though, that Zach survived and is out there somewhere, waiting to be found.

General

Name: Rhys Grives

Age: 20

Birthday: February 15th

Ability: He doesn't like thinking about it

Pronouns: he/him

Sexuality: homosexual demiromantic

Background

Family: Zachary Grives (presumed dead), mother and father aren't in the picture

Hometown: Farisburg - a city along the coast, known for its booming ports. It is also known to be under the thumb of Mitchel Feirno, the ruthless leader of the Infernans, so named for Mitchel’s affinity with fire.

Current Home: Hidden Lagoon, a neighborhood at the edge of Button Bay, nestled in a forest by the ocean.

Rhys ran away from Farisburg in search of Zach when he was seventeen, almost three months into his senior year of high school. As such, he never graduated.

His friends back home went to the police to try finding him, but they gave up when he turned eighteen. Rhys blamed himself too much to face them, so he never told anyone where he was going and cut off all contact as soon as he left.

Appearance

Height: 5'10"

Rhys is covered in burn scars all along the right side of his body. He usually wears long pants and sweatshirts or jackets to cover up most of the scars. On his bad days, he keeps his hood up to hide the burns on his face. He is also never seen without his gloves, even on morning runs where most of the town is still asleep.

His hair is black and slowly growing out of the buzz cut he has kept it in since the fire. It used to be curly and constantly fell in his face. There are a lot of reasons he hasn't grown it out again. The biggest is probably that the curls remind him too much of Zach, whose hair was always far curlier than his. He has grey eyes, but there is also some green to them in the right light. You wouldn't notice unless you really studied them, though.

As a runner, he is fit though thinner than he once was thanks to his time on the road. He can't really put on much weight with his stress and his chronically empty cupboards.

Personality

Rhys used to be a trusting person. Then his blind faith in the good of humanity took his brother from him. After that, it's hard to trust anyone.

He is loyal to a fault and willing to do just about anything for the people around him. Rhys used to dream of being a firefighter because of how much he wants to help people.

Before the fire, he was quiet but also childish and naive. He’s more mature and thinks through his actions, though it is now to the point where it's more accurately called overthinking. Rhys has always been shy, but now he’s basically a recluse.

He likes the quiet, which is probably why he enjoys morning runs so much, and why he likes cats. His favorite places in Button Bay are the Coffee Claw, the library, and the hidden beach at the end of his running trail.

Looking at Rhys, people would wrongly assume he’s violent and cold. He is super gentle with cats and other animals and mostly kind, especially to kids. Before the fire, his friends—who were originally just Zach’s friends—would tease him about the amount of times lost kids would come up to him for help. They all thought he was born to be a firefighter, the one who lets kids tour the firetrucks and mess with the lights.

Before his trauma, Rhys didn’t have so many defenses built up, and his exterior was more reflective of who he is on the inside.

Plus a song that reminds me of Rhys!

*I will probably add to this/link other posts to this in the future. I'm also working on a character interview with Rhys that I'll probably post bits of.

[manonamora-if]

ive been looking at the ifcomp and i think im gonna do it. any advice for a firsttimer? what should i expect? what was your experience?

Hi Anon!

First of all, congrats on taking the leap! I know it can be quite daunting to participate in one of the biggest and oldest IF Competition there is currently. Takes quite a bit of guts to do it! Yay, you!

Suuuper long ask answer because you asked questions requiring long answers, where I probably repeated myself multiple times.

IFComp Advice

What to expect?

What was my experience?

TLDR: it's hard but also fun. Def recommend at one point (unless ranking makes you go blerg... then do the SpringThing or an unranked game jam).

IFComp Advice

I do have some advice for you, especially if you are planning on submitting a game to the IFComp this year, which is less than a month away:

Be Ready for your work to be judged and reviewed by people. Some will be harsh, some will be kind, most will be fair. If you are not fully open to criticism, especially negative one, the voting period will sting like hell. It is also fine not to read any review or comment about your entry, but a head's up is important.

Be prepared to rank low. If you follow the advice below, you probably won't end up last place. But the competition is stiff. Authors often spend a year or two on their entries before they submit. If you know you can't handle rankings, go for the SpringThing instead. More chill.

Submit your intent to participate NOW! The deadline is Sept 1st, but it's easy to put it off and forget. And intent to participate doesn't mean you have to submit something. You can back out at any moment (even during the voting period).

Check the rules and timeline of the comp (@ifcomp). You don't want to disqualify yourself by mistake...

Keep it short: 15 to 30 min of gameplay. There is less than one month left, and you want plenty of time to make sure your entry is as polish as possible! I took 3 months last time and it was a buggy mess on Day 1 of the voting period.

Use a program you know, or a simple one with good documentation or guides. You might have time in a month to learn how to use a complex program, but I wouldn't recommend it. List at the end.

Create something simple but airtight. You are racing against time. Shooting for the moon with something complex could work, or it could land you in the bottom. Usually, it is best to create a game which is doing little, but doing it very well, than submitting a behemoth that can't even do its core gameplay loop right every time (dissing myself, yes). Sam Ashwell has some good article for choice-based, Emily Short for parser puzzles.

Your prose should have as little grammar mistakes as possible. Pass your text through as many grammar checkers, and maybe some human testers (beta). The more eyes you have on it, the better. Hate to say it but, avoid word crimes there...

Have some impactful interactivity, that makes sense with the story. Puzzle, branching of variation, etc... Even if all of it is fake, and you are pushing the player through a linear story, the player shouldn't feel like they are just flipping pages of a book. I am not talking about the quantity, but the quality of the interactivity. Emily Short has some great article about that stuff.

Don't have bugs. Should be obvious, but you know... I didn't follow that one and got (rightly) roasted for it in the reviews. Test your game (and have people test your game) A LOT.

Style your project a little bit (if possible). It doesn't have to be fancy, but as simple as changing the colour of the background and the text, maybe the font of the text as well (!!! it should still be readable) can go a long way. Also appreciated but never mandatory: different formatting for different bits of text, some animation in the text, having images, having audio, having accessibility settings (theme, font, visual, audio)... Again, those are pointers. Leave this for last.

Credit where credit is due. Code, assets, beta-tester, etc... anything you did not make from scratch, or anyone helping you along the way, should be added in a credit page. Also credit yourself for what you did :P you deserve to show off your efforts!

Test your game relentlessly. Yes it bares repeating, I've done that mistake. Don't be me. Test your stuff again. Have people break your game.

Edit your submission page with care. Have a grabbing hook for your synopsis, an eye catching image, and any relevant documents the players would need (i.e. walkthrough). DON'T FORGET TO ADD A WAY FOR PLAYER REACH YOU FOR BUGS!

MOST IMPORTANTLY: Have fun! If you have fun making your entry, it will show in the writing and how the game is constructed.

Hypertext/Choice-based: Twine (Harlowe, SugarCube), Ink/Inklewriter, Moiki, ChoiceScript Parser: Adventuron

Oh... and good luck. You'll need it :P

If you are thinking of next year instead, most of these advice applies. You can just rule out the intent submission for now, the length of the game (1h gameplay is usually the sweet spot), and the program to use (though take one you understand). The rest could work for any comp honestly.

What to Expect?

The IFComp period in an exciting time where many people gather to play games and talk about them. Many people submit stuff yearly, sometimes with good results, sometimes it's atrocious. Sometimes, authors who haven't been seen in a while reappear to show off their labour of love or review other people's games. It can be very intense and overwhelming if you are participating (author or player).

As an author, you should expect (not exhaustive):

deadline (intent/game/voting),

potentially getting comments for bugs (and having to update, which you are allowed to),

seeing reviews and discussions about your entry (mainly on the IntFiction Forum, but sometimes on blogs too): good stuff, negative stuff, and people missing the point entirely or having bad take, or takes you didn't think about.

seeing people rating your entry on the IFDB (rating =/= vote, but can be a flawed indicator)

feelings galore (good, bad, ugly, anxious), especially stressing about the results

having to remind yourself that no one can judge everything completely objectively (expect when it comes to bugs, it is or it isn't), and that people vote for what they like.

following the rules on the IFComp website

a special private group on the IntFiction forum to discuss with other authors when the voting period starts, as well as posting reviews,

maybe get a prize at the end? (depends on your placement)

Honestly, it can be pretty rough. This is not an easy competition. Most people have been working on those projects for months or years. Some have for just a few weeks, but their pieces can be out of this world. Only the organisers have an idea of who is competing ahead of time, and how competitive it could be from year to year (i.e. did big names come out or not).

While reviews and ratings can give you an indication of how your game is faring with players, you will not be able to know until the votes are actually out (case and point: me, thought I did much better than reality). Either way, it will be a surprise, good, bad, disappointing...

Speaking of reviewers, most will try to be as partial as possible and going into every entry with an open mind. But, there are harsh reviewers out there, as well as kind ones. It is not unusual to see blunt reviews, especially if something ticked the player (bugs usually).

But also, it's loads of fun! You have a bunch of very serious people debating on minor things, newcomers trying out the comp and sometimes even reaching the stars, oldcomers popping by for a cup promising they will review ever game and then disappearing after three, a lot of very very very good games to play, so many different perspectives on what if IF, and feeling like you have a voice in what should be crowned the best of the competition!

It's weird, it's serious, it's goofy...

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best... but most importantly, have some fun. And do what's best for your mental health!

What was my experience?

I think I've talked about it quite extensively in my Post-Mortem for The Thick Table Tavern. Read that before the end of this, for context.

And almost a year after this experience (on this day, I was frantically writing), I think my feelings have changed quite a bit. I went into the competition guns-blazing without understanding the importance of things (bugs/grammar especially) and thinking I had done the absolute most and breaking the genre, believed I did sooooo much better than any other entry, got very dramatic when the first non-positive reviews came in, and was about to throw my shit when I saw the 1s in the voting curve. I am only a bit over-exaggerating here.

I definitely deserved the placement I got. Don't misunderstand, I am incredibly proud of what I achieved there! But... there were major issues for sure. And I've come around to recognise those.

Those 1s-2s were warranted, those negative comments were warranted: the first version was buggy as hell (which I think was the version in the mass downloadable packet? and I updated the game like 20 times), there are still a bunch of issues with the prose (I learned my em dash lesson!), the pacing is aaaalll the way off (I thought I was being cheeky, but didn't always land)... This was something way different for the comp, maybe more experimental than people expected (I mean, who does a click-only bar for a text-based comp...)? But most importantly, while it looked polished, you just needed to play a few minutes to see the varnish crack...

To say the least, I got slapped back to reality. HARD. This was a mediocre good-looking game. Real pretty, big flaws. And that's ok (not putting myself down). Not every game can be winners (unless it's La Petite Mort or DOL-OS :P), not every game will work as intended. You can rack all the trophies all the times. Sometimes you're just at the bottom.

All this might sound hella negative, but I am incredibly grateful for this experience. I have learned so much about game creation, coding, writing, what to do and avoid... There are things I probably wouldn't have learned had I not participated (or not as early). I have created friendships (and rivalries /jk) and found a community where I feel comfortable being this experimental with my work (hey, it worked for DOL-OS!) and continuing breaking the codes. It's renewed my drive to create and do more: games, experiments, trying new program, but also for the community, helping out, creating guides and templates, giving advice...

And I've found a bit of love for reviewing stuff it turns out.

I've made my peace.

And I have plans for a new pretty weird game for a future IFComp ;) I will make people cringe again :P Hopefully not because of bugs!

Final sidenote: I am still not taking my advice. No one tested DOL-OS before it was submitted, and it won. But also, other games placed poorly... I am still speed-running through competitions (not the IFComp this time), and tripping all over all the time. I still submit thing thinking I'm the hottest stuff and that no one else will be better than me. Completely delusional here. Be better than me, for your sake.

[bruhstation]

Thank you for the post on my series, it really does inspure me to write more when I see how people react to it and look indepth at the characters. But now I must ask, do you have a version of Tornado? I'd love to see it if you do. 💚💚💚

YOU'RE WELCOME!!!! your fics are just so so good like I absolutely love how you expanded on the backstories and personalities of pre-existing characters like gordon and scotsman AND how compelling and three dimensional each "new" characters are like tornado and green arrow and truro and.... (sweatily looks left then right) mallard and SOOOO MANY MORE....

and something I've noticed from your fics is how there's a strong theme of learning about your past -- all its good and bads and in-betweens -- and either accepting it as part of yourself critically or rejecting it after feeling so mortified from what you've discovered. this is quite prominent especially when the reader follows tornado's character progression. it's much interesting how a character who was "supposed" to be defined by her past as part of a restoration project actually handles change quite well and looks forward to what the future is bringing. tornado is so complex and I have so many thoughts about her but for now senja will just (pats the side of her tender solemnly)

the way grief is handled so well too and not sugarcoated like scotsman’s breakdown at the early chapters of young iron and how at that moment he felt like he can only find solace in his brother's presence.... wow. Wowwwwwww Okay 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂 I AM SOOOOOO NORMAL

the hardships each character face and the way each of them handle it differently (flawed or not) just makes me feel so pumped to keep on reading. even though some characters mess up I still keep on reading and anticipating the next chapter because I believe in them. and I am rooting for them in a sense of "damnnnn okay how is scotsman gonna get out of this situation" or "ohhhh shit tornado things are NOT looking good for you girl!"

OH and for my design of tornado.... I haven't made any for her yet! I've been wanting to since your interpretation of her inspires me so much. and thanks to your fics I've been looking into tornado's background and the trust project.... could she be involved in the project in one way or another in casa tidmouth? perhaps so! I might come up with a design of her someday in the future :] thank you so much for the inspiration, truly‼

[lhs3020b]

Regarding the ongoing uBlock-vs-YouTube arms race, it's interesting how, in a way, it showcases Google/Doubleclick/whatever-they-call-themselves-now's slow downfall.

It's hard to remember now, but in the 2000s, people actually non-ironically liked Google. Even as late as 2014, you could still see pro-Google takes even in Leftist and semi-Left spaces. In 2014-19, for all its flaws you could still say Google services were useful, so they had that very-practical point in their favour.

Then the 2020s began and search became increasingly-useless.

(These days, I bookmark anything I need on the web, because goodness knows if I'll be able to find it twice).

YouTube's slide appears to be well under way. It's not new, certainly they've had problems for a while - crap moderation, reams of problematic content, an algorithm that pushes far-Right influencers apparently over all other videos, and then there is the sheer propensity of YT content-creators for scandal. (Just to think of a few recent examples of the latter, let's see ... there's the 8Passengers case, there's the ongoing illuminaughtii situation, and now there's the Sssniperwolf [just how many "S"'s does she need?] debacle. And they're not the only examples I can think of, just off the top of my head. If you dug, you could certainly find many, many more. Youtuber implosions aren't rare.)

Now the platform iself is going to war with its users.

That ... rarely ends well for platforms. (*cough* LiveJournal *cough*)

As to what's going on in the background, obviously I don't know for a fact, but we can take some guesses. They may involve the words "money", "managers" and possibly "venture capital". The venture capital model that supported many internet endeavours in the 2010s seems to have gone pop, likely as a side-effect of the pandemic-rebound inflation surge. Previously, with interest rates sat up against the zero lower bound for an entire decade, VC types could borrow huge amounts of money at little-to-no cost, and they would only need a handful of investments to pay off to recoup their costs elsewhere. Now, that's no longer true. Suddenly, the VC types can quickly find themselves dangerously overextended on debt, hence some of the desperation to claw back any pennies they can.

Though, it should be noted, this point perhaps doesn't fit YouTube so well. Google/Doubleclick have no shortage of money, and were apparently quite happy to run YT as a loss-leader throughout the late 2000s and all of the 2010s. Why did they suddenly panic this year?

I have a suspicion that the answer may lie in the word "management".

As for managers, both platform and business, one thing I've noticed is that managerial culture seems to have fallen off a cliff during and "after" (insofar as there is an "after") the pandemic. Lockdown seems to have messed them up; it does appear that a lot of them fear and resent the loss of minute-to-minute control over their staf that they had when everything was default-in-the-office-full-time. (One thing I've wondered about is what is the true ratio between people who go into management for the money and people who do it because actually, they don't care about the cash and are just a control freak acting out?) The authoritarian, hierarchical nature of the modern corporate internal structure means these people are incentivised to kick down at every opportunity.

Certainly, purely from personal experience, my own workplace has got a lot worse during and after the pandemic, and most of that seems to be coming down from the top.

Viewed in the light of this model, YouTube's platform dictats make slightly more sense - basically, managers seeing users doing something they don't like, and said managers then having a tantrum. Probably they're using the VC business model issue as their justification for their behaviour, and who knows, maybe some of them even believe it.

Anyway, we'll see how this all plays out, but perhaps this is a sign we all need less Google in our lives.

[a-crash-in-time-collection]

Chapter 42: Worry of Others

Mu wasn't sure how to express how she felt around or about.. anything anymore. She did her best, when she cared too, but it all felt like she was repeating the same lines over and over. In a way, it was like she was…disconnected from everyone and everything else. They all seemed so… happy.. Mu told herself for the longest time it was the Mafia and every other 'Bad Guy' on this planet that made her unhappy.. But she was slowly getting closer to adulthood now, and that made her realize there were more shades of gray.

She didn't know anymore. If she should keep fighting her good fight or just.. give up. What was scary was she felt…so much closer to giving up then anyone seemed to realize. Not that anyone had any connection with her to realize. Outside her shouts during fights with the Mafia, she wasn't sure she could even remember a proper conversation she had in the years since Hat Girl left til the day she returned. Cooking Cat was the only one who came to mind, the only one who seemed to truly pity her for the longest time.

The thought of Hat Girl sent a chill down her spine, enough to make Mu stop walking down the path she was on. She didn't even understand why. She hadn't spoken to Hat Girl in awhile. Or any of the toppats since the day she and Mr. Macbeth uncovered those secret areas of Mafia Town. Hat Girl should be fine. She was in a forest clearing, not an island with a monster living under it. She should be safe. So why did she have this crippling feeling that something bad happened to the girl?

Focus Mu, she tried to think as she continued down the path. She didn't know why she was walking. She told herself it was to stop a Mafia from hurting someone, but deep down, she didn't know. After all, everyone else who lived on the island before she came almost seemed… fine with them now. As long as they didn't get directly in their way, the Mafia rarely messed with them anymore. Sure they still loved to pick on the elder members but then again, it wasn't nearly as violent as it used to be.

She eventually sat down for a moment to try and gather her thoughts. Focus on anything but those thoughts that went against what had to be her only purpose in life. Perhaps her wish was granted, as a smell met her nose as she turned to face the building she sat outside of. Cooking Cat's place. Her stomach let out a growl as she got up, letting out a sigh. She would never admit to anyone how many times she went here over the years for food. It was just hard to find other sources that didn't result in diving low.

"No, don't think like that." Mu said, walking up to the door, telling herself she would just do a check to make sure no Mafia were causing trouble. She walked in and scanned the environment. It wasn't too busy, only two tables actually had people at them. And it was relatively calm from what she saw. She should leave now, she reasoned. Yet she found herself stepping in for a closer look of things. "I know every place has its slow days but this is the slowest I have ever seen… Wait, where's-"

"Adalyn?" Cooking Cat appeared from behind, making Mu catch her hand before she threw a reflex punch. "She's not here."

"You don't sneak up on me like that without a warning, what if I did something bad?" Mu said, trying to keep her voice quiet so as to not draw attention to the two of them. Cooking Cat shrugged with a slight chuckle, before walking past Mu, gently giving a quick tug on her cloak as a sign to follow her. Mu decided to because what if the cat needed help, but couldn't say anything aloud? "And isn't it a day she normally works? I understand school likely started up for her again but I doubt she would care much."

"Oh no, some other things are going on." Cooking Cat said as she hopped behind the counter, climbing up the other side as Mu sat on one of the chairs by the counter. She didn't know why they had chairs here, this place wasn't a bar. She glanced back at some of the workers in the background and could sense something off. She couldn't try to place what it was though, before a plate with some bread was placed in front of her. "I've been trying some new recipes, tell me what you think of this."

"I'm sure it's fine, you can find someone who can.. You won't take no for an answer." Mu stated as the Cat nodded. Mu sighed, glancing over her shoulder for a minute before reaching over and pulling a piece. At least Cooking Cat was kind enough to have an excuse. She took a bite. It.. didn't taste like normal bread. She couldn't place why exactly but it just didn't. "It's a little strange." She mumbled before swallowing. "But it's good, everything you make is.. Hey, have you heard from anyone in awhile."

"You gotta be more specific, there's a lot of 'anyones' in this world." Cooking Cat said, Mu giving a shrug as she took another bite, she wasn't wrong. "I heard that something happened at the metro, but that's the only event I heard about." Mu tilted her head, what would have happened out of the norm there. And, why did it send that chill down her spine again. Cooking Cat's eyes suddenly lit up. "Oh, and Adalyn. She's in one of DJ Groove's movies- Or is going to be, they're still making it."

"Huh." Mu stated as she took another bite. "Good for her. Could lead her down a better path then a lazy paw."

"I wouldn't count on that, she seems very intend on following her parents footsteps." Cooking Cat stated, and Mu gave a sigh, the cat did have a point. And at least Adalyn wasn't doing anything too bad when she did steal. She always ended up giving whatever it was back, it was more for the prank then anything. At least she seemed happy with what she was doing… "Oh!" Cooking Cat exclaimed, brighing Mu out of her thoughts. "Dead Birds Studios wanted to borrow some of my plates."

"Let me guess, the really fancy one that belongs to your great grandma or something? Stuff that's hard to find now." Mu asked, getting a nod. "And they need to be brought to the studio by tomorrow for what they need and you haven't had the time to schedule how to drop them off? And there's some event." Cooking Cat gave a slow nod then, tilting her head as the human leaned back. "Read you like a book huh?" Another nod with a slight chuckle. Mu gave a hint of her own. "I can be like that at time."

"Oh, I just don't know how to get them there." Cooking Cat said. "I could arrange for one of the Mafia to try taking it over. But I wouldn't want them breaking them. I'm scared that's gonna happen as it is."

"You would do that for me? You're too kind at times Mu." Cooking Cat said with a smile, Mu just gave a shrug. Who knows, maybe a day without her will show the people of this town they needed her. Maybe this time, at least. Cooking Cat pulled back the now empty plate as she hopped down from whatever she was standing on behind the counter. She poke her head around its corner. "I'll go ahead and grab them for you so you can get going first thing tomorrow. I'll also pack some food for the trip."

"Or the Mafia Goons would steal them, and then probably break them." Mu said, her voice lowering to almost a whisper as to not draw attention from one of the tables with Mafia Goons nearby. Honestly, she didn't understand why Cooking Cat would even lend them if she was so scared of them breaking… Then again, this could be her chance to do something for once.

And take a break from this town. "I can bring them to the studio for you if you wish." Mu said. "I can even bring them back."

"You don't have too-" Mu stated, but Cooking Cat was already gone. Mu sighed as she rested her head. "I don't need it."

She’s been working on not coming here as often the past year or two, even if she went longer than she would have liked without something to eat. She didn't need to get so much in a short time again.

At least she had something to do tomorrow. It would be annoying to deal with those birds but hey, at least she could try and clear her head.

The smart thing for Mu was to take off her hood once she started walking across the desert and, in the sun's heat. She thought she would be fine, however, with some clouds blocking the sun's rays, just a bit. She told herself she was fine as she kept walking with a slight huff, sweat going down her face. She didn't need to stop and rest. She had gone through worse situations before, she could handle a little heat. She had to have to turn the lava on in Mafia Town in the past.

It seemed so easy back then, she thought with a chuckle. Running, dashing. Fighting crime without ever being discouraged. Or questioning everything she told herself for years. She still believed bad guys were bad but, it was so hard to see anyone as the bad guy anyone. Or maybe it was Mafia Boss somehow making her think this way. She didn't know how he would, she didn't even know how he was still alive all this time if she was honest- She paused when the studio building appeared in her vision.

Finally, she began to race towards it. As fast as she could without breaking anything in the box. She needed some cooling.

The other birds around just glanced at her silently, none really speaking up. Some shot her a glare, remembering her attempt at ruling the planet all those years ago. She could have killed them for one mistake they made.

"Air- Finally," She said as she stepped into the cold building, glancing down at the floor in the chance she was getting some looks. How could anyone in this part of the world live in such heat? She was able to live in her cave without an air conditioner in summer just fine, but a walk through here almost made her pass out. She managed to get to one of the

seats and sat down, allowing her brain and body to rest.

"I know I agreed to do this but why couldn't it have been a rainy day in the desert? Do those even exist?" She mumbled to herself as she glanced up at the ceiling, wiping some sweat from her brow. After a minute she heard one of the doors open and some voices. She glanced down and saw her target, Grooves, talking with the Receptionist. ‘Finally’, she thought as she stood up, making sure she held the box close as she came over. "I got those plates you wanted for the movie," Mu said.

Grooves glanced over with a bit of surprise. "Well, I wasn't expecting you to be the one to bring them. Not that I have a problem with that of course." DJ Grooves said Mu must have given a glare without noticing. She sat the box down on the counter and watched as the penguin opened it, glancing at it with a smile on his face. He gave an approving nod as he carefully closed the lid. "These will be perfect for the scenes. I could have garbed any old set but when I saw these, they were just perfect."

"Just make sure they aren't in a place to get broken." Mu said with a sigh. "I'll be taking them back home at the end of the day, and I rather not do so with them in pieces." She added.

"Oh please darling, who do you think I am, Conductor?" Grooves said with a small chuckle as Mu rolled her eyes. On one hand, he had a bit of a point. On the other hand, she was aware of Snatcher's death wish based on the parade movie he had Hattie do. Something about the whole set up of felt dangerous, especially since all she was aware that Snatcher did was had

more owls. "Well, why don't you come with me to watch the filming. As long as you're quiet, it should be fine… uh.. Do you need some water?"

"Well, she's actually the main character in this movie we're working on. She already filmed most, if not all of her scenes, we still need to check." Grooves said with a faint shrug. Mu gave a small nod, but also a bit of a look. Did he really not know about how many scenes were done in his own movie? Then again, he was the Dad of a toddler, Dinenna could have somehow ruined files tracking the scenes, if that was how it worked. "Haven't seen her since then. She..didn't seem the best last I saw her."

"No- I had some before, I'll be fine." Mu said, shaking her head even as her breath had a little huff to it, still recovering from what she went through to get here. In terms of heat that is. Grooves gave her an odd look but didn't pick any sort of fight with her, which she appreciated. She would be fine, until she had to head back, that is.. As they began to head backstage, a question came to mind. "It's none of my business, so feel free not to answer." She started. "But

have you heard from Hattie or the Toppats at all lately?"

"She wasn't?" Mu asked, hating how her voice raised a bit with worry. How could she let that happen? Was it, her fault? Did Macbeth tell her about what they had found out? Mu felt bad, but tried not to show it. She couldn't let it be show. She glanced to the side silently. Trying to think. Why did she feel so guilty about everything? She didn't understand. "Do you know… why?" Mu asked, bringing her voice to a whisper. She got a nod. "It's about the second coming of Moonjumper?"

"Yes." Grooves answer in a whisper. "She had found a stone tablet of herself in some ancient tower. She believes she is tied to the prophecy, and it might hurt her clan."

"Oh." Mu said, looking forward after hearing that to think. So it, wasn't her and Macbeth's investigations? Then again, a stone tablet of just her, as creepy as that was, shouldn't be enough to cause this amount of worry from her. She must be missing some context. Maybe she could ask the next time she saw her. The next time she took the time to head to the clan's base to… breath? She shook her head. "It's awful. She already saved this world once, from me. Why would she need to do it again?"

"I mean, as far as I'm aware the second coming shouldn't be bad.. right?" Grooves asked. Mu was about to answer, before pausing as they entered the room where the filming was taking place. She saw Adalyn in some sort of spy outfit, jumping between parts connected to a green screen. Mu raised her brow a bit at that. Maybe the penguin got better about his practices over the years. "Alright!" He said as he took the box from Mu, handing them to some penguins nearby. "Go set these up for the scene."

"Yes sir!" One said as they headed off, Mu sighing as she sat in a chair nearby.

"Got ya!" Adalyn suddenly called from the Green screen, almost making Mu jump out of the set. The penguin by the camera stepped away, and the cat let out a breath of air as she got down, letting out a grunt as she stretched. "Man, there's something different between doing those things normally and acting." She said, walking over to grab a water bottle on a stand nearby.

That was when she noticed Mu. "Oh hey, Mu! Didn't expect to see you here!" She said with a wave, Mu returning the jester slightly.

"Thanks boss." She chuckled, giving a bit of a salute as she took a chug from her water bottle.

"She came to drop off some planets for some of the scenes we need to do." Grooves explained, Adalyn nodding as she walked over and sat in a chair next to Mu. Now that she was closer, Mu couldn't help but notice things off. She had faint scars on her body that looked recent. And her eyes had this slightly different look to them. Like she had seen something

she could never unsee. "We're getting the set finished now, and then you can start filming. Until then, take a break, you did wonderfully."

Suddenly, the Conductor burst through the door, looking more than a little annoyed. Mu could just barely see the eye roll on Grooves’s face as the bird walked over.

"Grooves, did one of your penguins steal my grayscale lens? I needed it for my shot by the canon yet when I looked through all the lenses I brought with me, it was gone!" The Conductor ranted.

Of course, it didn't stop it from going on for a bit as the topic of a lens changed to another thing and then another. It didn't make any real sense to Mu, couldn't they just talk about this more civilly? Or at least do this over text. She just tried to focus on her conversations with the Cat, who was talking about how happy she was that she got this chance to be in a movie and how things were doing in Alpine Skyline. Mu mostly followed along, promoting her to talk in more detail. Mu herself didn't have much to share.

Mu knew enough about the Conductor's and Grooves's relationship by now to know to start up a conversation with Adalyn to help distract the both of them from the argument about to take place. Granted, from the little she bothered to pay attention too, they seemed to have gotten a bit better about these fights. She heard they got along better nowadays, and it was easy to tell that just by listening. Conductor would even take some breaths to calm himself down without

being promoted by Grooves.

"Well at least when I put Hat Lass into a death tunnel I had the decency to warn her first! …Speakin' of which, have you heard from the Lassie since you last saw her?" Conductor asked, Groves shaking her head. Mu watched as Adalyn paused once the alien girl was mentioned, her fur almost seemed to grow paler. Everyone nearby noticed, as Conductor tilted his head as he walked closer to the two. "Why are you lookin' like that over a simple question? You don't think anything bad happened."

"I don't think, I know." Adalyn covered her mouth as the three let out small gasps. She let out a sigh. "This isn't really my place to say but… She went to the Metro to try and fix her old Rumbi to help bring back a part of her past. The Empress caught her and apparently had her held in some machine. Me and some others broke in the save her and…" She shook her head as she glanced at the ground, ignoring the faces of the others. "She looked so dead the whole time we were getting her out."

"She what-" Mu stood up from her chair. "no.. NO!" She turned to Grooves. "One of you or your penguins better have her number now or I'm-"

"Darling, I'm worried as well but you don't need to get violent." Grooves said as he pulled out his phone. "I don't have her number, but I did grab Platinum's before he left, so we can arrange times better in the future." Mu nodded, but waited with worry as she watched the penguin type in the number, glancing at Adalyn who just let out a sigh, shaking her head as she glanced at the ground. The phone ranged for a moment, before answering. "Platinum, I know about the Metro. Is your sister-"

"How did you-" Platinum voice came through the speaker with a hint of anger, before they heard a metallic sigh. "Yea.. She's as fine as she can be. Been spending most of her time in her room with Rumbi since the incident but I can't blame her after what happened… I'm actually in the room with her now. I can.. Hey Hattie, do you wanna speak with Grooves and I'm assuming Conductor as well?" It was quiet for a moment, the faint hint of talking over the speaker. "You sure? Alright then." Mu went right up to the phone as she waited for the alien to speak.

"Hey.." Hat Girl's voice came after a moment. Mu got the same chill down her spine as when she was simply thinking of Hat Girl the day before. It wasn't hopeless, drained of life, dead, or anything like that thankfully. But it did sound so tried compared to the girl they all knew. "Sorry, I probably should have let you know what happened earlier. I guess it slipped my mind."

"No Darling, you don't have to apologize for something like-"

DJ Grooves didn't get to finish, as Mu swiped the phone from his flipper in one quick movement and looked at it. "Hey- are you ok? I mean, the answer is techally no but still. Have you been eating well, have you seen anyone?" So many questions were going through the blonde's mind.

There was silence on the other side of the line, and Mu felt regret as she handed the phone back to the penguin.

"I'll be ok eventually." Hat Girl said with a sigh. "I want to leave my room but just.. need a bit more energy. Rumbi's back, so that's been helping. Rumbi, say hi!" They all heard a bit of the alien they knew with that last line as there was a robotic, yet happy beep in the background. Then a giggle that brought some reassurance to their souls. "But yea. Eating ,sleeping, all that stuff. I.. only struggled on the first day when I was the most out of it. I… wouldn't say I'll truly be 'me' again anytime soon though." She admitted with a sigh.

"And that's ok!" Adalyn said as she came up to the phone as well. "No one who cares even a little about you will expect you to try and recover fast from this. So don't worry about that."

"Thanks… Hopefully things will be fine soon.."

"Are you sure?" Mu asked, making sure her voice was as quiet and gentle as she could in the moment. Hat Girl started to respond with what sounded like would have been a yes, but didn't finish. Instead letting out a sigh.

"On the plus side." Platinum's voice came from the background. "We managed to get Hattie's laptop to connect to Steam, a site from our world for games. We're playing this new one we found randomly. It's supposed to be a horror game but it's funny."

"Yea, speaking of which, we should probably get back to it. I want to see how far these 'not being possessed' things go, it's almost impossible to have any sort of game with mascots without something like that anymore." Hat Girl said. "I can call you guys tomorrow?"

"Yea, that's fine Lassie. Just be careful." The Conductor said. They heard a hum from the phone, before the call was ended.

Mu let out a sigh. "She'll be fine eventually. She has her clan, I know that." Mu sat back down as she stared at the ground. "It's kinda funny. You think they could be evil, cruel hearted, and all that being a criminal gang, and I'm sure there are some. The mafia is only light hearted in any way because of how idiotic they are." She sighed, pausing as she glanced up at them. "But.. I'm going off on my own issues now."

"No, you're fine darling. You're aloud too." DJ Grooves said. "I.. think you haven't ever gotten a proper chance to before."

Mu glanced down at the ground again, gripping onto her hood slightly as she studied every small detail and mistake in the floor tiles. She should just be quiet, be silent. This shouldn't be about her. And yet…

"They're so… nice and caring… I heard stories from when I visited. About how so many ended up there not because they were criminals, but because they had nowhere else to go. And sure, there are bad apples, but overall, they're the kindest group I ever met. And it- makes me doubt myself." She had to hold back from shouting. "I kept fighting for so long because I told myself people like them are bad- but they're not! And now I feel like I wasted my childhood trying to fight for a false vision of a world that.. never truly existed…" She let out a breath.

The group was silent for a bit. Adalyn reached out and placed a hand on the human's shoulder, being sure her claws wouldn't risk coming out if something surprised them suddenly again. "I think we all saw the world the way you did for the longest time. It's so easy for us to just live our day-to-day lives with nothing challenging or shaking our morals."

"It's the biggest reason why me and Conductor didn't get along for the longest time. Along with, other factors." Grooves admitted when the Conductor shot him a glare.

"Still… I can't believe that happened to the lassie." The Conductor said, bringing them back onto the original topic. "Do we know of anything we can do to make it up to her?"

"The only thing I can think of, I tried back when they first got onto the planet," Mu said, briefly reaching behind to feel the timepiece hidden in her cloak as if it wouldn't be there. "She didn't take it then, I doubt she'd take it now. No matter how much more use she would get out of it."

"I know you mean well, but this isn't gonna be something that, giving her something will just fix her from quickly. I mean, she got Rumbi back and is clearly happy about it, yet you all hear how she is." Adalyn sighed.

"Let's let her recover from this more first. After we're sure she's ok again, or at least as ok as she'll ever be." Grooves whispered the last past. "Then we can plan or get something for her… Until then, I really should get to the next scene. Adalyn, do you, want a few more minutes?"

The skyline cat gave a nod, as Grooves left.

Mu hardly noticed at that point. Trying to sort out the emotions in her head.

Why had this had to happen to Hattie of all people?

She wished that it happened to her instead.

[ambiguouspuzuma]

The Raven King

There was a hubbub about the court. The new contender was a figure out of legend, or at least from a prophecy centuries old: he had the raven-black hair, the raven-black sword, even the gaps in his grip from his missing ring-fingers. Everybody there had heard the words, passed down from parent to child, as one of many fairy-tales they'd never dreamt would actually come true.

The realm shall know its raven king and wish his midnight sword to sing in hands that never bore a ring all hail the glory he shall bring.

Ansoald was no exception. He'd been raised in and around the royal court, and knew all of its portents and promises. He'd grown up amongst courtiers and courtesans, and they were a notoriously superstitious community - in fact, he sometimes felt that they were more concerned with reading omens for the future than arranging affairs for the present. That would certainly explain the mess that they were currently in.

It was the third succession crisis of his lifetime. The others had seen the crown contended between unexpecting cousins, a young king dying before being able to produce an successor - and the victor then failing to do the same themselves before dying from their wounds, starting that conflict all over again. The royal court had often lacked the necessary heirs and graces. But this time, having already plumbed and emptied those depths in the current king's passage to the throne, no branch of his family tree remained. When his position became vacant, it would be open to all applicants.

This king's health troubles had been well-known. That meant that Ansolad had been given time to prepare; to place himself in a position of importance in the court, and to court those who opinions would be more important still. Neutrality was key. Against a background of such conflict, the usual contenders would be vetoed by each other, almost every noble house having previously chosen a side. That left a gap for an independent; someone who could assure both groups of no reprisals once he took the throne. For Ansoald.

This was his chance. Growing up here as a child, the idea that he might one day sit the throne would seem a fairy-tale of its own, but now it was actually in his reach. Everything he'd learnt, everything he'd ever worked for, had all led to this gilded opportunity, born of the most unlikely set of circumstances to clear a path for the likes of him. He'd wondered if destiny had played a hand. But now he say that if this was the work of fate, the way hadn't been laid for him. It was just his luck for mythical figures to choose this moment to appear.

The contender introduced himself as Ebroin. He shared little more; kept himself to himself, and let his supporters spread rumours in his absence. He was an immortal who had found the realm in the first place, and now come to save it in its hour of greatest need. He was a magical emperor who had conquered the lands on the other side of the map, and now arrived to lead them in similar domination of their neighbours. Ansoald recognised it all as nonsense, but saw how pervasive it could be. The people were crying out for leadership, and he'd appeared as if out of their waking dreams.

The threat was obvious. There was no way that Ansoald could hope to compete with prophecy. People thronged behind their promised champion, and all of his previous sweet words stood for nothing against the tides of destiny. It seemed that he alone was unconvinced - perhaps because of his own ambitions, but he also recognised them in Ebroin, smiling in the shadows. It was too perfect, turning up now, when the realm was vulnerable; not to actually save it from its civil war, but to reap the spoils of its battlefield.

Everything rested on the prophecy. It was too neat, Ansoald felt; too aligned with one man's self-serving ambition, in a way that most predictions weren't. Having seen how quickly rumours could spread, he wondered if this had simply been the first - its existence been wholly baseless, or it could have been forged by Ebroin himself just months ago, and cosmetically aged beyond its actual years. Ansoald resolved to research it himself. If he was to have a chance in defeating this mythological threat, he would have to strike it at its heart.

It took a journey of many steps - Ansoald was referred to one false oracle after another, a private library which claimed to hold the original, a message written in the stars above for anyone to see. Eventually, near-begging for any information about real prophesy, he was pointed in the direction of a bayou far beyond the towers of the court, where an ancient wide woman lived and told the futures of any who dared visit. She could be the source of those legends, learned men agreed. She was surrounded by enough minor legends of her own.

But when Ansoald reached her purported shack, it was an old man who answered the door. He identified himself as Leodegar, and claimed no magical powers of any kind - but he did shake his hand with one finger less.

"You're looking for my grandmother," he explained. Ansoald guessed that his grey hair might once have been black. "She wanted a better future for our family, and saw me as our greatest hope. I was a high achiever, but... made different."

He held out his hands, as if Ansoald might have missed that detail. He also showed him the sword: a perfect black curve, like a raven's flight feather. Far more impressive than Ebroin's fake. "A family heirloom?"

"Like the prophecy." He nodded. "We had noble blood once, before an ancestor was exiled for some forgotten crime. Older generations in my family were obsessed with regaining that position at court."

"Including your grandmother."

"The last big attempt. Without anything else to help us, she tried to lean on her mysticism - she started spreading other predictions to clients which I was still a child, all around my pathway to greatness and the boons that would be bestowed on those who aided me. I was distinctive enough to make a focal point. But as you can see, none of them came true."

"Not yet," Ansoald said. He explained the position at court: an imposter, climbing on the back of the existing lie. "It's coming true because she made it, just a century too late."

Leodegar thought it over. "These prophecies age like fine wine. The original clients would have been rebellious children from noble houses, but they must have grown to positions of power, and granted the legends their authority as it passed on down. If they didn't believe it at the time, they can't explain the coincidence now."

"But we can. I know how easy it is to dye hair, or even chop fingers off." His eyes drifted to the sword. It still looked sharp. "I need you to come back with me. Explain all this. Reveal that fraud Ebroin for who he is."

"You assume they'll believe me." Leodegar shook his head. "I didn't win a single argument with my grandmother in life, and my word isn't going to overpower her prophecy in death. From what you say, they're already believers."

"Then come as the true Raven King, to banish this pretender."

"I have already failed to claim that mantle once." He reached for the hilt of the sword. "But I no longer fit nor want the role she made for me. I would be lost at court. You, on the other hand..."

"I fit it even less," Ansoald protested. "You can pass me the sword, dress me in whatever robes your grandmother had planned, but the part was written specifically for you."

"I didn't mean to pass it, not yet." Leodegar was looking down at his fingers. "How much do you want to lead?"

[oncetherenowhere]

I am feeling very lonely today. I keep having dreams where I make friends, who then yell at me until I have to leave. In last night's dream, I was sobbing and wailing, and everyone looked at me in disgust. It left me shaken when I woke up.

I often have similar dreams. These vibrant, abstract, but so REAL-feeling dreams, that take my bad feelings and pump them up to their fullest extent.

I have been getting comfortable, being alone. I don't know if I'm ready to even try to make friends again. I have been working on practicing self advocacy first. I thought I was good at setting boundaries, but there are spots I missed.

Very often, in my relationships with the people around me, I do things for them in silence. Telling someone you've helped them feels embarrassing. I don't like to glorify good deeds that I do. However, this has led to many situations where I pick up after other people, and they don't realize it; my deeds are helpful, but invisible.

The coworker who I've had problems with was similar. He would often forget to do things, and I would do them, thinking I was being helpful and that he would appreciate it. However, he, of course, never noticed, and when he thought I forgot something, I would not receive the same patience. That's the big problem, you see- I want to extend patience and help to other people, because I know I would want it in turn, but many times, people's first response to me when I make a mistake is irritation. The funny thing is with this coworker specifically, the things he would get irritated with me for are things he forgot about, and forgot that he forgot.

This has led to problems in friendships, of people forgetting things often, but not realizing it because I take care of it for them; but then when I do forget, even if its only the first time, they explode on me.

People are not generally aware of things that they don't see. I am used to existing in the background of people's lives; I am certain this is a trauma response. I was taught to be as little and invisible as possible for most of my life. Because of this, I am also hyper aware of all the small things around me.

I am thinking, a simple, "Hey, I noticed x, and did y for you" will help me in the future with people. That way they know that I am doing my best, and trying to be helpful. I don't necessarily want gratitude, it's just that golden rule of treating others the way I want to be treated.

It's just frustrating, navigating all of these things. Self-advocacy still feels so awkward and bad for me, because it is the polar opposite of what I have been taught.

When I stood up for myself last week, I went home, and had the biggest panic attack I'd experienced in a while. I feel better about it now; I am trying to see it as a muscle that needs to get worked out. It'll ache and hurt at first, but it will get stronger.

I think the other frustrating part is that I see others get a lot more grace than me. If someone even thinks I've messed up, I get berated much worse than others too. I can see how the standards are often times unfair, and unfairness nags at me. I have always been told that I would get used to it, but I've experienced buckets of unfairness, and it only bothers me more and more. I don't think it's a bad thing, to still be surprised by bad behavior. I wish others held themselves to the same standard they hold me at.

That's the funny thing about autism. Others recognize that you struggle with things, but in my experience, instead of being more patient about mistakes, you're expecting to be perfect or else. I see the allistic people around me breaking their own social rules and norms all the time.

This has become quite the ramble. I'm a bit bleary from a rough night of sleep, and my heart rate is very high. The combination of being tired and anxious sucks.

Today and tomorrow, then the weekend. I just want some rest.

[hopefulstarfire]

Here fam have some background things to have for whenever I do get to the oc fics in terms of like Canon add-ons / changes bc fuck it why not go full out because ahahahaha. these will be shown in better detail with the prequel fic but also I'm slow, we're hitting the busy season at work and I just wanna blab about the oc stuff so this is a good way to set up background bc a lot of thought went into this bw me and my friends

Raphael is about 2-3 years younger than Cecelia and Maddox. When he was found on the island, Cecelia had maybe a couple months left alive.

The Guardians he had were originally part of a game / story that Max had set up for all of the kids in the family to play together, mostly as a means of keeping Cecelias spirits high. I'm also now realizing Eatos probably did in fact take inspiration from his mother and now I am Sad.

Max's parents had their own business and they weren't really as interested in Max or you know anything about their son. So he really did latch onto Cecelias family as his own. They also passed away on the Harmonia.

Mason, Kat and Cecelias father, was longtime friends with Alisters parents and they were considered to be members of the family as much as the Griffins were. However, everything that happened with them getting in the war torn country and then Alister becoming the lone survivor started after Miruko/Mikey was only 2.

Raphael is related through the family because his mother and Kat and Cecelias mother Evangeline were first cousins.

There is in fact a family tree and there have been discussions between me and Kohaku about all of the family bc we love them your honor.

The first Duel Monsters tournament happens when Kat is about 10-11 and its also low key the first time Seto ever sees her and one of his goals is to meet her because he's got a puppy crush. Then they meet a couple years later and it's just rivalry. Straight up ready to Duel whenever and wherever.

Evangeline and Gozaburo also ran in similar circles and thought highly of each other and if that doesn't tell you everything you needed to know about Kats mom idk what will. She didn't get to be around the Kaiba boys as much, though, usually they were too busy not really paying attention to their children (except Cecelia in Evies case), Kat and Cecelia didnt attend many parties (esp with Cecelias health and Kat doesn't like crowds and Mason didnt want them around a bunch of snooty assholes), and she only has a vague memory of a teal haired kid at a party or two but wouldn't be able to say "oh, yeah, Gozaburo had a kid before Seto and Mokuba".

The only reason they were even at the one Cecelia met Max at was because of family obligations for it.

The Big 5 are the literal worst. Just. Just all the time. Don't trust anything they do or say.

Especially not Nesbitt or Johnson.

I do also have their family dynamics figured out and also how Nesbitt spent years gaslighting Meredith in their affair about his relationship with his wife he tried to tell her he was divorcing. It's a whole mess.

Iris and River meet Seto and Mokuba about two months after they were adopted.

Seto takes over the company at the age of 13, Gozaburo still does the window thing and Seto transforms KaibaCorp into a successful gaming company.

Roland had been working for the family since probably Noa was alive but he was under strict rules to not discuss him after his death, if we go that route. He looked out for Seto and Mokuba and he and Meredith got close because they were both trying to find ways to help the brothers and give them the life they deserve and then they fell in love and are adorable.

Seto gets the Blue Eyes cards by whatever means he can, usually in feats of his own strength and has them all by the time he enters his first tournament three months after he becomes KCs president.

Death-T probably won't happen which sucks cause it's my favorite. But it's because Seto has people who would very much hold him back from doing something in that nature and offer him a bit more stability. But he's still. He's still very much Kaiba he still rips up the 4th Blue Eyes and gets smug and super competitive and makes bad calls and Iris wants to strangle him. But if he had tried to spend 8 billion yen to murder one (1) fucking teenager, Iris would have thrown him into the sun and River would have helped.

Nana and Yugi moved in with their grandparents when they were very young and their parents aren't really in the picture. Their grandma passed away when Nana was 15 and it was really sad for them all.

Nana once attempted the Puzzle but didn't get as attached and focused on it as her brother did and has been cheering him on.

Yugi solves the Puzzle when he's 15 or 16 and then the events of the manga play out.

The gang will be 17ish by the time Duelist Kingdom pans out or are turning 17/18.

Miho and Tomoya will be featured more prominently and as proper members to the gang and show up throughout the series with Joey, Tea, and Tristan. Ryou will also be getting more focus.

I'll have more when my brains not tired.

[your-enby-antihero]

Caleb and the two very hot purple people that are sitting at the next table over

Based on a  tumblr post

Caleb works as a teacher at the Soltryce Academy. His life is fairly normal, not very notable at all, but when he meets two people at a bar he becomes an utter mess. 

also available on ao3—————————————————————————

Chapter 5: Caleb and his panicked phone call after two hot purple people nursed him back to health

Caleb woke to the sound of his phone pinging, a notification illuminated the screen. 

“One text from Unknown Number: Hey Caleb! It’s Molly and Essek. Just wanted to know if your feeling better :D Essek wants to know if you want to get dinner with us after your big presentation for the Assembly. I’m buying ;) Hope it goes well &lt;;3”

He threw his phone across the room. The orange cat case Veth had got him had saved it from becoming pieces on the floor. Frumpkin meowed and stretched, awakening from the sudden noise. He picked up the phone and brought it back to a very flustered Zemnian man.

Caleb petted Frumpkin as the phone got dropped in front of him, though Frumpkin accepted the pets he soon left to continue his sleep. Caleb opened his phone, the photo of his last birthday set as his background. Beau had hosted a small party at her and Yasha’s bar, Veth and Yasha standing next to him with a homemade cake from Jester placed in front of him. He smiled to himself, momentarily forgetting the unanswered text from Molly. When he did remember he immediately went to answer the message.

“Caleb: Good Morning Mollymauk and Essek, thank you for your kindness yesterday…” 

When he saw the invitation to dinner he stopped typing and instinctively dialed Veth’s number.

The sound of the phone dialing and connecting was agonizing. Caleb’s face was entirely red and his heartbeat was erratic.

A familiar voice answered from the other end, “Caleb are you alright, it’s 6 in the morning. How are you feeling?”

Caleb stuttered for a bit before anything coherent made its way out of his mouth.

“They asked me to dinner Veth,” Caleb squeaked, he was hyperventilating just a little.

——————

Veth smiled to herself and made a note to report back to the group, but she put on her most “my best friend is hopeless and queer but it okay I’ve done this like 17 thousand time and know how to talk him down from going off the grid and moving to Issylra to become a cleric of a god so people won’t recognize him” voice and spent over an hour getting Caleb to just wait so that she can send Beau over to help him.

When she finally got off the phone, Luc was walking sleepily up to her in his pajamas. Yeza had already gotten up to head to the apothecary, some fancy mage was coming in to pick up an order. She kissed her son on his forehead and started getting him ready to head to school. 

Luc was in kindergarten at Rexxuntrum Elementary and he quite enjoyed it. His best friend was Kiri Schuster and Veth and Jester had met her at the summer camp Veth ran over summer holidays. She packed Luc up in his little backpack with so many homemade patches stitched to the sides. She’d deal with Caleb later.

——————

Caleb paced around his house, his face still hot and he still felt congested. Beau had texted to say that she was on her way and to “stop being gay /lh /j”. He smiled at the text and settled himself into the couch petting Frumpkin’s fur. Frumpkin purred and snuggled into his arms. He waited for about half and hour until he heard the familiar sound of a key opening the door and Beau stepping into the house.

“Hey Caleb how’s the crisis going?”

He glared at her, blush flamed on his face, a wide and wicked smile plastered on Beau’s face. She snickered and walked over to him. She petted Frumpkin until Caleb gave her the phone. She read the message carefully 

“So Veth called and said you needed help because Molly and Essek invited you to dinner,” she asked, reading over the text, “Oh Caleb what the hell dude. From your reaction I thought they asked to… I don’t know fuck you or some shit. You can go out to dinner with them. I’ll even ask Yasha to text Molly if we can invite the whole crew. You’re worrying too much Caleb.”

She tossed the phone to Caleb and pulled out her own. She drafted up a text to Yasha.

“hey babe could you send a text to molls. Say that we’re bring the whole crew out on a caleb celebration dinner and he and hot boi are invited too love you<3 thanks”

They waited for a few moments before a ping went off on Beau’s phone.

“One new text from Babe 🖤🤍🖤🤍: on it 🥰”

Beau texted back a quick thank you to Yasha before beaming at Caleb, “see Cay you’ll be fine the whole group will be there now.”

Beau then took Caleb’s phone and saved Molly’s number in it, texting him a picture that Molly had sent to her from Rosohna Pride the year before. He was smiling and pulling, who assumably was, Essek into the photo. Molly fully decked out in the genderfluid and bisexual colours with a very ornate flower crown of lavender, pansies, violets, roses, and green carnations. Essek was holding a pink parasol and wearing a tiny little demisexual pin on his lapel, a few stripes of the mlm flag painted across his smiling cheeks. Beau then set it as Molly’s profile in Caleb’s contacts and handed him the phone back.

“You’re welcome,” she said with a smirk to a slightly flustered Caleb. 

She took a picture of a very flustered Caleb for later and got up from the couch to leave. Beau gave Frumpkin a few pets before heading out, not forgetting her work bag that sat by the front door. She smirked to herself as she waltzed out of Caleb’s home and started her journey back to her own where in fact she intended to kiss her wife for being so amazing.

Beau also sent a text to the group chat with Jester and Veth as well as Yasha.

“(Photo of a very flustered Caleb in a cozy red sweater sitting on his sofa, his face almost the same shade of scarlet as the sweater. His glasses hang just onto his face with a very surprised expression.) lol my job is done. see y’all at dinner for operation get caleb two hot dates ;P.”

She immediately got two pings on her phone.

“One new text from 🍭✨Jessie✨🍩: OMG!!!! Wait what happen Beauuuu please TELL ME MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“One new text from Veth(bitch(affectionate)): Thx Beau lmao”

She smiled satisfied with her handy work, she was so making Caleb pay her back for this.

[battleangelaelita]

Haman Karn and audience reception of female antagonists

I am not just an Azula fan, I have a broad and healthy appreciation of girlbosses in all their forms, and one of my favorites of the archetype is Haman Karn from Zeta and ZZ Gundam. Seriously, she walked so the rest of our faves could fly. More under the cut.

Now, this little blog post is going to be at least partly speculative. I don’t know for sure how how Haman Karn was received during the initial broadcast of Zeta in 1986 and ZZ in 1987. But I do know as a longtime Gundam fan that the second and third outings in the Gundam franchise were a high-water mark for female characters in Gundam, and the franchise has, at best, stagnated and usually backslid since. The Origin fleshed out parts of Sayla Mass’s story that were left on the cutting room floor so that’s really the only notable exception prior to this fall’s forthcoming Witch from Mercury, which will have the franchise’s first female protagonist.

People usually have one of two opinions on Zeta in the English speaking anime world: “best of the franchise” or “i have never heard of this.” It got its localization contracted just before Toonami decided to pull the plug on Gundam broadcasts after the one-two punch of the original having disappointing ratings and September 11 made the violence of the series less palatable--the background of the opening narration depicts the use of city-killing WMDs in the form of deorbited space colonies.

So Zeta survived on DVD sales only, while the immediate sequel didn’t get an official localization, finally releasing as a subtitle only BD/DVD in 2015, and only getting put on CrunchyRoll this year (2022).

So the only people who watched are people who were already Gundam fans, and people who were likely to be older to pay for what was at the time a niche product, or something they’d have to acquire a fansub for.

So who is Haman Karn? She’s a Neo-Zeon warlord who assumed control of a remote mining colony and military base, and returned to the Earth sphere in the middle of a ongoing colonial uprising against the despotic Earth Federation emergency regime. Seven years after the end of the One Year War, the world is still a huge mess, with many of the heros from the original forced to fight against their own government by the tyrannical Titans state security force, the Zeon-hunting organization that has become the small gear turning the large gear in the Federation.

And into this mess, which has seen magnificent bastard Char (under a pseudonym) fighting with the heroes, on the same side as his rival Amuro, Haman shows up bound and determined to make this mess worse.

Look at this demon baby...she even has a knife!

Haman has a lot of the qualities people love (and love to hate) in characters like Azula. She is a young and extremely competent female antagonist with a deep personal relationship with a previous fan favorite (Char). She is often smug and manipulative. In spite of her general sense of duty towards her people and their cause, that cause is a deeply destructive and evil one (Zeon in Gundam is a pastiche of currents of Japanese right-wing futurism viz the Kodoha clique and the pseudo-left anti-imperialism of Kita Ikki and some elements of the student movement).

In Zeta Haman is a spanner in the works, a sometimes ally, sometimes adversary of the protagonists who ends up maneuvering for supremacy in a three-way conflict with both the heroes and the series big bad Paptimus Sirocco, who is Jupiterian in both the Emmanuel Macron personalist/Bonapartist political sense as well as literally from Jupiter. Haman is the ultimate victor of this battle; she not only defeats Char in a one-on-one, possibly killing him (his fate was left ambiguous), but her forces come out in the best shape. Zeta’s protagonist Kamille Bidan beats Sirocco, but is left catatonic from the psychic resonance (it’s Newtypes, I don’t have time to explain...)

Haman goes on to be the big bad in Gundam ZZ (it’s usually pronounced Gundam Double-Zeta). Not only does the general trend of gaslight, gatekeep, girlbossing continue, she intensifies and double-downs on it. War crimes ensue. And not the silly sense that fandom talks about characters like Azula being war criminals because they don’t like them, I mean actual violations of the laws of armed conflict like the use of WMDs on open cities. She does get somewhat chickified because one of the long-running subplots is her attraction to Double Zeta’s protagonist Judau Ashta (it’s another Newtype thing...just think of it like their souls touching through some psychic stuff), but it’s played more for tragedy. In the end she cannot let go of her pride, and chooses to die when defeated rather than accept Judau’s alternate perspective.

Haman in sum has all the hallmarks of the villainous woman in the traditionally male sphere. She’s stoic, manipulative, hypercompetent, but also emotionally closed off. She can’t femme fatale, and her few romantic overtures are clumsy. Nonetheless, she has complicated, multi-faceted relationships with multiple male characters, including a series fave, and often beats them at their own game.

Yet she’s also consistently a pretty well liked character in both the English and Japanese fandoms. There is no shortage of moeified fanart of her, and she’s showed up as a cameo in several other series like the Build Fighters one.

So what went wrong elsewhere? Perhaps it’s because Haman was intended to be a sympathetic character from the start by Tomino, unlike Bryke’s relative disinterest towards Azula’s internality, for example. It’s long been a pet theory of mine that Haman began conceptually as the next arc for Sayla Mass, another fave in the Gundam franchise. Perhaps I’ll do a whole post on that subject someday, but in brief, Sayla is Char’s estranged sister, both of whom have been living under assumed names in exile from their home colony after their father’s assassination. Sayla’s plotline in the original got slightly truncated due to the episode count being slashed, but in the original outline she was supposed to lead a soldier mutiny in Zeon in the final part, taking off the character masque of Sayla and becoming Artesia Deikun again (this was restored in the expanded The Origin manga by Yasuhiko Yoshikazu, who was Tomino’s right-hand man on the original series).

There may be a slight resemblance...

Sayla unfortunately had to be cut from Zeta because the voice actress was on a year long Safari in Africa (it was the 80s, I guess people just did that sort of thing). So somewhere in development, a character who also has a complicated personal relationship with Char, a stoic and serious female character who looks like if Sayla decided to dye her hair and cut her bangs, shows up again on the opposite side of the conflict from Char, who’s doing his best at trying to be a hero...really gets the old noggin joggin’.

It could also be a matter of audience. Gundam is aimed more towards a slightly older demographic than many western animated shows, particularly one like Avatar, and it’s also a pre-internet show. People had time to grow up and form more nuanced opinions and weren’t dumped unvarnished into a fandom space very early. Or they were American adults experiencing the show for the first time as adults, with some background for nuance.

But there’s plenty of people who first watched Avatar the Last Airbender as adults who also have extremely hyperbolic opinions about Azula. The reception towards Rey from the Star Wars sequels, who let’s be honest here, is neither overpowered compared to her male counterparts nor does she have a strong, domineering personality, also points to the fact that older fans are far from immune to knee-jerk toxicity. If anything, they were worse with Rey.

In fact I find the audience reception of Rey even more baffling, because from the very start Rey is clearly communicated in terms that make her relatable to the audience of Star Wars fans. She is, after all, a fangirl in-universe, living in her mundane world dreaming of the big adventures outside of the meager existence salvaging scrap on Jakku, keenly interested in the old ‘legends’ about people like Luke Skywalker or Han Solo.

What then is the answer? Fandom I guess is an often toxic space, and I can’t find any clear answers. Sometimes villainous female characters get generally well liked and appreciated, and other times they’re treated with such comically hyperbolic disdain it would be funny if it weren’t so damn stupid. I am interested in hearing what you have to think.