#than ive ever seen on tv or film

[clamorybus]

its insane how my small town of <10,000 is more diverse than the majority of hollywood productions that are set in major cities

[xtcz]

hi, new ish xtc fan here .. was wondering if you know thr best places to find like the most niche info about them? if that makes sense LOL theyve just been scratching the brain so good and ive read song stories but i want More .. hope its not weird to ask you this :[

it’s never weird to learn about xtc…….

erm for some photos and song notes and interview transcripts chalkhills.org is my best best friend. they’re an old style fansite with tons of archived stuff, they also have tons of xtc guitar tabs 😁😁 optimismsflames.com is another old fansite i look for stuff on, they’re a little harder to navigate but still have a boatload of stuff up. those are places i go when i have a specific thing in mind mainly; a specific image i’m searching for or someone’s thoughts on a particular song. but they’re good to just browse too i’ve spent many an hour that way

they only have one traditional biography, chalkhills and children, written by chris twomey. it’s kind of surface level but also a really fun read for weird little stories & quotes. this book is a really good example of how xtc were not the average rock band in terms of drinking sex drugs etc but what they had going on was Considerably More Insane for other reasons mainly they are collectively 5 of the little fucked up freaks of all time

complicated game is another song book which you may not get much out of if you’ve already read song stories, but i think it’s a little more complete. i’ve heard a couple fans say that out of all the xtc books, complicated game is the best & has great insight into the music, specifically for musicians but for anyone 😁

gonna also link some documentaries and specials i loveee all free on youtube:

this is pop— documentary that came out in 2017. the only documentary ever made about xtc. corny and very low budget but soo lovingly made and genuinely so good if you love them. fits the tone of the band well. i’ve seen it so many times

xtc at the manor— tv special filmed while xtc were at the manor studios for single work for black sea, following the recording and mixing of an alternate for the generals and majors single. they all talk about their instruments and how they chose music as a pursuit, also day to day footage in and around the studio. this one is my utter beloved

xtc play at home— (in three parts, 1 2 3) a special from 1984, xtc talk about their music as well as their hobbies. there are also some very low budget and hard to find music videos for some of the songs off mummer. dave talks about his guitars. andy talks about his board games. colin talks about Fishing. i love this one

recording nonsuch at chipping norton studios— this is a 50 minute home movie type special following the rehearsal and recording of nonsuch. i’ve seen this one through less times than the other two i linked because nonsuch is erm. my least favourite of their discs sorryyyy but it’s still a really good watch and i know a lot of folks love nonsuch

dm me if you want interview links too or anything, i tried to keep this list to longer video stuff but they have so many good interviews too

ultimately i don’t know if any of this stuff is niche. it’s all out there free online. the path you take with your poking around and research is yours :^) but i do think there’s great stuff in everything here and hopefully you’ll find something that suits your fancy

[stupidrant]

at the end of the day i trust ssm on this, but i'll only accept sigyn (loki's other wife in the myths) if 1. that's angrboda's nickname or 2. another pretty black girl who then becomes angie's number one bestie. guess who just listened to brandy ft. monica - the boy is mine and started think of this LOL.

ok i have a few things to say abt this. 1) From what ive seen in the past year, i think the topic of sigyn is unfortunately sensitive in this situation due to the way the fandom treats angrboda and kinda uses sigyn as a “hopeful” replacement against her or want them in a love triangle (and so far, nobody wants that).

Ive recently seen someone make a rant abt how media constantly merges sigyn with angrboda and i respect that rant but this is in terms of the game ONLY. Game development is a much different process than film/TV. And i feel like putting her in would just make things complicated for the development, story, and potentially for atreus and angrboda’s relationship UNLESS its another name for angrboda (which i think most of us agree this is likely) or theyre in a poly relationship (honestly dont want that lol) i dont think we’re gonna see her in the next game due to this and the fact theres not any pointers towards her in the near future (if ever).

2) dont do that. Please. 😭 yall might think im just spewing shit but i can tell you this right now as a black girl myself, this is not healthy way of thinking! I know it is amazing to have representation with those that look like you or are in a similar position as you but theres a high chance youre gonna get disappointed (or maybe not bcuz again, we dont know what theyll do) if shes not black. This can lead to setting yourself up, feeling “betrayed” and or getting jealous off anyone that doesnt necessarily look like you and i can assure you, you do not want to deal with that. This creates a HUGE insecurity issue within that shouldnt be present! know at the end of the day this is a game but i see stuff like this even with celebrities and 10/10 it ends up badly.

3) obviously i do not mind if shes black or another POC. I saw some ppl say they would like that trend of atreus have POC love interests and that would be nice but idrk whats gonna happen 😭 I do believe the giants will be very mixed as this was confirmed by sms and i wish so badly to see how theyd look!

[eightdoctor]

please elaborate on the Paul films you think are good (I’m assuming Withnail is one of them lol)

hello thank you for the ask!! i always love getting them :3 but yeah upon looking at pauls filmography ive realized ive seen wayyy more of his tv stuff than his films (most of which are kinda just really bad but made good by the fact i get to look at him) and i think his tv stuff is usually way better than his movies so im just gonna go through all the movies ive seen. with him

i should note im literally mostly ranking these on how paul llooks in them. because i watched these during quarantine and its all a blur

withnail and i <- literally my favorite film of all time i can quote the whole thing. i watch it in my head when im bored. it changed me irrevocably. i love it and also paul is justsuch a wet sopping pathetic sexy beast in it

paper mask <- ok i did like this one. it's kind of insane and an entertaining watch and it's one of his movies that ive actually seen multiple times. paul plays the banjo and sings in it a bit and he's also really cute in his little outfits while committing medical malpractice and identity theft

the doctor who movie <- you already fucking know what i think of this one baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the biographer <- oohhhh he's wearing glasses...... and a cute sweater.........i found this one interesting enough. i think

hotel! <- blantant fucking airplane! ripoff but still kind of really funny in my opinion if you like that sort of humor. peter capaldi is also in here

the rainbow <- isn't good but you get to see his bare ass and watch him run naked in a field so that has to count for something i suppose. i also think it has his first ever sex scene in it so it's funny to watch

dealers: this one is about the stock market and i dont remember shit from it but i sure did watch it !!!!!!! but hes a little business boy in a little business suit and even wears a turtleneck

catherine the great: this one is only for the most skilled paul mcgann watchers as his brothers are in it and literally i can't tell them the fuck apart. and i dont remember anything in it except paul has a scar (hot)

lesbian vampire killers <- this fucking sucks. james corden is in it. it's supposed to be a comedy but none of it is funny except for the parts with paul :)

the monk: not good in the slightest but he has a tonsure which is hilarious. to me

downtime: it's fine i think. im putting it last because i cant even remember what he looked like in it

[danrifics]

omg you used to be a shadowhunters blog?? me toooooo alec lightwood was literally my gay awakening. did you read the books and/or watch the tv show? i refused to watch the tv show bc i was the kind of annoying child who hated when it wasn’t just a complete 1:1 replica of the books 🫣 and also i was for some reason very mad that the actor for magnus was shorter than alec bc fanfic authors started including the height difference when in the books alec was the shorter one 🙄 (clearly i was a very fun 14 year old 👍🏻)

alec lightwood is my fave!!!!

and yeah i’m a fan of the books and of the tv show!! I loved them both a lot and for different reasons but i was definitely more of a tv show fan so i didn’t mind the changes they made! I hated the film tho, probably one of the worst films ive ever seen 😂

i do collect the books tho! here’s my shadowhunters shelves! (don’t ask why but i own like 8 copies of city of bones)

[vivaladicamillo]

I saw your posts asking for ideas and I was thinking what If you wrote something about you being Bams younger sister and filing cky coz April doesn’t want you to get hurt and you have like secret relationship with Dico or Ryan

DICO/MARGERA!READER

thank u so much for the suggestion!!! im gonna do it for dico this time bc one, theres no fanfics of this silly dude and two, i havent written abt dico in SOOOO long. this ones for the dico lovers out there love yall, a dying breed🫡

WARNINGS: dangerous stuff, fluff, bran being bran yk

———————————————————

being bams younger sister has its ups and downs

bam as a brother is A NIGHTMARE

hes just such a dick

making fun of u, annoying u and being the “younger brother” type character bc hes just like that

u were 2 years older than him

so when u started kinda liking his life long friend, “dico”

it was kinda awkward bc u yk, hes ur brothers best friend

one night, u were just chilling at the house alone

ape and phil went out, bam was probably out skating somewhere and jess had band practice so having a empty house all to urself?? hell yea!

as u sit on ur couch, just watching some stupid ass movie thats on someone knocks at ur door

when u answer it, its Brandon dicamillo himself (dico)

“hey, uh is bam around?” he asks looking kinda nervous

“nah, i thought he was put filming with u, but its 9:00 he should be back soon.”

“ah ok, ill just wait in my car till he gets here then, thanks.” he smiles at u

“come on bran dont be a stranger! i’m m just watching a movie just wait inside till he gets back.”

you held the door open for him and he walks in and plops down on ur couch

in your spot.

“asshole what the fuck thats my spot”

“didnt see ur name on it.” he says smirking “also what kinda horse shit are u watching? let me show u some real funny shit.”

dico then proceeds to put on an old western movie

“what the fuck dicamillo??”

“what??! this shit is so funny watch this.” he says pointing to the tv as some guy dressed as a cowboy gets shot on screen

the acting was terrible yes, but the way dico was hysterical laughing at it kinda made u smile

his laugh, his interests, just his goofy personality made ur heart flutter

u didn’t realize that u had been staring into this mans whole soul for ten mins until he turns to u and smiles

“may i help u?” he says kinda chuckling

“oh, uh sorry..” u say blushing and kinda turning away

the silence that took place after could have killed u right then and there

until he turns to u

“hey uh.. ive been actually meaning to talk to u about something…” he says, that nervousness kinda coming back from before

u nod ur head as he starts to confess to u

“listen, i know ur my best friends older sister and this is kinda weird but… ever since i met u, i thought u were so cool! i wouldnt have expected u to like masters of the universe and filming bits as much as do…”

“yea, i can see how u couldnt have seen that coming bc of my brothers”

“yea, but anyways, ive always kinda…been into u, im super sorry if this is weird i didnt mean to make it like that i just think..”

u smile, did fucking brandon dicamillo just confess his love for u ??

“bran..”

he turns to u

“i feel the same way, ive always had i just didnt wanna make things awkward if u didnt.” u smiled at him and scooted closer to him on the couch

“really?!?” he said in shock

“mhm, i like you… like A LOT”

u move in closer and you two end up making out on ur couch

after that day u both agreed to date without anyone knowing

yea it was suspicious when u two wouldnt be able to film or hang out at the same time on the same day but the guys kinda brushed it off

u two went of secret little dates

dico would surprise u ALL the time with cute date spots

random cat cafes, parks, family ran restaurants, he just found little cute places in westchester to take u to, and u LOVED IT

when bam realized u obviously were seeing someone bc u were WAYYY to happy, u decided to snoop

going through u room he ended up finding one of dicos shirts hidden under ur bed

thats when bam decides to confront u about it……

—————————————

might make some type of part two to this but it depends if yall want it or not, hope u enjoyed! also please keep sending in requests i love them sm !! yall are so creative i love it sm

[winter-spiders]

Kinktober day 17

Threesome - WinterSpiderShield 764 words

Peter had some fantasies he had never wanted to see the light of day. One of the most recurring ones were having a threesome with the soldier boys, Steve and Bucky. That would be the most least-likely one that could happen, so he doesnt know why it was that one his mind focused on so much. 

Steve and Bucky had been dating since Steve was still a tiny twink who got into fights. Steve fell first, but hid it, then Bucky came clean after a drunken night, now that they were in 2022, they didnt have to hide their relationship, they didnt have to fear getting beaten or killed just for being gay. But Something was missing, they were,,mostly happy, but everyone in a while, they would realize that while they loved each other, they both missed having or being with someone smaller than themselves. Then Peter came along. 

Peter Parker with his curly brown hair, a hero complex that made Steves ego deflate slightly out of shame, was as strong, if not stronger than both of them put together. Bucky love peter because he reminds him of the tiny Brooklyn boy he knew a few decades back, Steve loved him because of just how beautiful the boy was. 

When Peter started inviting Steve and Bucky over to his room in the compound, to show them some modern films (which were mostly Star Wars and Star Trek), Bucky enjoyed the movies. Still, Steve enjoyed  staring at Peter for hours on end, the younger never noticed, as he was memorized by the films playing on the screen (why did tony give Peter not only the biggest room but the biggest TV steve and bucky had ever seen.) 

After a long talk between the older two, they both decided that once Peter invited them both over for a movie night, they would just sit down and talk to Peter about their feelings, and hope that they were reciprocated. Peter was nervous, both of the guys had been acting weird, and also avoiding him, which made the younger sad, because he really thought that they liked him back. 

After getting tired of them avoiding him he waited in the shared kitchen, hidden on the roof. Bucky and Steve had not seen it coming, they didnt even fully realize that they were avoiding him, until they were eating breakfast, and saw a flash of red and blue drop down from the ceiling. 

Peter pulled off his mask, tears almost falling from his eyes, “where have you guys been? Ive been trying to talk to you guys for weeks and you guys just ignore me. What-what did I do wrong?” Bucky and Steve were floored, this angel was almost crying because of them? Now that just wouldnt do. 

“I thought you guys liked me too, but i think ive made you uncomfortable with my unwanted feelings around. I-Im sorry guys.” Peter turned and almost ran off until he was stopped by two very large hands on his shoulders. “We both love you Peter, so much, We’ve wanted to tell ou for so long-” Bucky interrupted him. “Peter, we both are very sorry, when we realized that we both wanted you in the relationship with us, we thought you might not want us around us all the time.” 

Peter smirked, making Steve and Bucky blush slightly. “I think i can find it in my heart to forgive you, but it comes with a price.” Bucky leaned forward slightly, “i like how you think, doll, Steve? Wanna take this to our room?” Steve blushed again, but nodded, smile bigger than ever. 

About twenty minutes later, Steve was lying on his back, Peter between his legs, cock pushing in and out while Bucky was pushing his fingers into Peters hole. Making Peters hips stutter slightly “fuck, Peter, harder, please” Steve moaned, head thrown back into his pillow. Bucky finally finished stretching and pushed his cock into Peter, creating an overstimulated mess of Peter, he would thrust into Steve, making Bucky's cock pull out, and when he pulled out, Bucky's cock would hit his prostate. 

They basically made a train. They went on for hours, all finishing multiple times. Until Peter was sobbing in pleasure, Steve gripped the sheets till they ripped and Bucky was trembling as he thrust, then he had to pull out. Peter finally pulled out too, Steve took a deep breath, god he loved that, watching his long-time partner taking apart a boy he also loved, it was exhilarating.

They have to do this again.

[dreadisdelight]

PLEASE DONT READ IT YOURE SENSITIVE TO LGBTQIA+ TOPICS!!!!!!!!:

sometimes i just sit there and wonder what i identify as.

i grew up in an area where i didn't have much representation of anything, "gay" was an insult and colours were dedicated to specific chromosomes. if you grazed football as a girl, you were seen as a tomboy alongside if you even looked at claires you were just odd. i think some messed up part of me still believes that, despite every fibre in my being disagreeing with it. there wasn't much representation of being homosexual in a form or another, mainly just jacqueline wilson books i peered into with such curiosity and utmost wonder.

it sort of struck me that i was different when i was much younger too. hell, sleepovers with girls scared me since they smelled so "sweet" or they were much prettier than me. we all watched films with the odd kissing scene and wanted to peer into the mirror, maybe attempt at looking into it without shame. it didn't stick, yet it didn't wipe off. i kissed a girl on her cheek in my bedroom when i was about nine, fags the most ive ever done, and i don't count it fully either. i kissed a girl on her hand too but still, that doesn't count in my books. nobody ever had the "it's okay to be gay" talk with me but they never had the "being gay is a sin" either. it just sat uncomfortably in the room. all the pins and homemade flags were just pretty colours opposed to something with significance in this world. ive tossed the majority of the relics besides a pin i bought when i had a sense of freedom for the first time but that's about it at most. we still haven't talked about it, and we don't intend on it either.

i remember my mom watching a tv programme with me, her eyes flickering towards me whilst saying "i don't get why people come out. i get where she was coming from, as if it was natural, but she was also the figure who never brought up these sort of conversations. the woman who made me feel a sense of crushing burden when i felt a sense of anger. i just shrugged it off, and never gave my views on the matter. i think if i had the confidence, i would have said something along the lines of "it's because we live in a society where showing who you really are needs courage".

i think i did tell her i was pansexual when i was younger too, this was during a mist of things where id say random bullshit to them as a joke, hoping they'd want to linger nearby. i haven't said a word yet.

gender was another thing that puzzled me, which still does. i never really thought much about it, i just thought you were female, male, or non-binary. that's it. no more options, just three buttons and you could click one. i used to lie awake, my mind thinking about issues for me to go 'holy shit am i trans??' which obviously still happens; why would i be writing this out otherwise? i dipped into being demigirl to nonbinary to immediately agender and i sort of sat there, sticking a label on it like they have to me with other diagnoses. i go from wanting big tits and being the epitome of feminine beauty to wanting to have top surgery and going by a new name. i know gender is a spectrum, but some part of me knows everyone around me wouldn't accept me, thinking im more mentally ill than i am.

i don't know why i decided to type this out either. maybe to give myself clarity instead of chastising myself for what's happened in my world.

ive only ever dated afabs. one cis. one somewhere between demigirl and nonbinary and the other transmasc. i know i hurt them one way or another, and so did they. i speak to one of them a few times now and again but for the other two, i apologised to one of recent and it's stuck to my mind. the other i fucked up so bad it hurts to look into a mirror. i think amabs scare me and i don't know why. i attach myself to older guys in films and loosely to other people, remarrying shane in stardew over and over again. one minute i have a preference and then it drastically changes.

my friend once said that people who are lgbtqia+ must have some evolutionary default in them, which i believe heavily. i have autism and probably some other stuff undiagnosed (my autism is clinically diagnosed yall) so that checks out. i saw a survey a while back that most people who are lgbtqia+ are diagnosed professionally or self with something along the lines of adhd, autism, and other mental disorders. but that's all we are. disordered motions, grasping onto conclusion.

maybe one day i will find somebody and it will make perfect sense. maybe i won't find anybody. for now, i know that i can only try, and when i try i collapse in tears wondering why nobody likes me.

[quarktrinity]

quark watches star trek season 2 episode 19 (CW: firearms)

mccoy is a fucking nerd. lets look for Organisms

"quite like earth" looks like it too. wonder where they filmed it.

kirk is appalled to see that the aliens have reached the stone age

the fact that this episode is called "a private little war" makes me think that this gonna be about the cold war so heres my prediction: the soviets- i mean the klingons upgraded this alien society to be good at fighting and now the united states- i mean federation has to fight them and make them be nice

yeah kirk dont shoot the natives that have literally done nothing to you

/he throws a rock instead/

why do these guys have guns. who gave them guns. who am i kidding it was the klingons

obvious stage fall is hilarious

spock gets shot and all kirk can worry about is his space gun

aight bye

"his heart is where his liver should be" should be?? should be??? stfu mccoy

the klingons? noooo waaaayyyyyy

kirk is worried about his space boyfriend

whaaaaat you mean the klingons have interfered with a foreign society as a proxy to harm the federation without technically breaking their peace treaty?

cmon guys havent you learned the show structure by now. his intuition is always right all the time

"he'll live or die, jim" yes that is often the case

this is the kirk has anxiety episode

i want to gnaw on kirks neck like a dog toy. in like a sexy way

kirk? violating orders? wow

kirks got his tits AND his guns out. thank u star trek i love u star trek

kirk baps mccoys boob

space yeti jumpscare

space yeti evidently wants to gnaw on kirks neck as much as i do

its dead now

kirks been poisoned :(

"kirk is right about the people here" woah kirk was right? so weird how kirk was right

rare episode in which mccoy is the mvp

sexy murderess alien

this girl is brainwashing this dude into being horny for her i guess

kirks under a massive furry blanket. i want to be him rn. not poisoned and dying but under a massive furry blanket

hes so cozy

is this girl gonna brainwash kirk

were sexualizing kirk again

/slaps your boob/

this is straighter than straight sex

oh my god this is the horniest healing session ive ever fucking seen

kirks fine now

mccoy strokes kirks boob

"he is mine now" woah shes evil? crazy

through alien magic we can make malewives of you all

motif of domination in this episode. even in the b plot. normal tv show

this episode is extremely horny and extremely about the cold war in ways that are completely unrelated

"killing is stupid and useless" - dr leanord mccoy

metal gear solid ass stealth sequence

wow this is just like minecraft

pesky space ringtone, giving away our location

uh oh. methinks they just broke the treaty

they werent lying this war sure is private and little

spock demands nurse lady to hit him. weve covered 3/4 of the letters in bdsm. all thats left is bondage.

were teaching the aliens to shoot guns so they can fight the klingon-upgraded aliens. this could not be more about the cold war

THIS ISNT EVEN A METAPHOR ANYMORE KIRK IS DIRECTLY COMPARING THIS TO THE COLD WAR

i know that kirk is brainwashed because hes advocating for war

this isnt the first time kirks been brainwashed into being horny and im certain it wont be the last

dont break the bro code kirk

kirk broke the bro code :/

space yeti... 2!!

Helpless Woman Flailing

she took kirks space gun and shes not even using it right

star trek be normal about women please

Were All Fighting Now

literally just this image

lot of brown in this episode. pretty boring visual design

so. are you deciding not to arm the space proxy war, or are you just sad that you have to

thats it??? thats the episode?????

what was this even trying to say. i know its propaganda but what KIND

[ispyspookymansion]

my true and correct ranking is

evil dead - all good

child’s play - mostly good people r to mean to seed it’s fun

final destination 3/4 but 4 is terrible

scream 4/5 and 5 isn’t that bad

saw - mostly good sometimes really great and even the bad ones have their moments

friday - mostly terrible but all extremely enjoyable

nightmare - 3 great movies and new nightmare and like the bad ones are fun

chainsaw - two fantastic movies i can take or leave the rest

psycho - i love 1 & 2 but the rest of them are notverygood

halloween - great opening wild sequel i own season of the witch merch and a dvd copy of h20 but christ alive when it’s bad it’s terrible

write-in last place is alien cuz those first two are without comparison but prometheus is the worst movie i have ever seen

saw should maybe be higher cuz i like her more than scream but if we’re looking at them as a franchise than i think 3D and jigsaw really bring her down cuz they kinda loose what makes those movies work so well i loved finally seeing the reverse bear trap in action tho

also i’d be reeeeally incherested in knowing ur rankings :D we’ve all given our terrible opinions i’d love 2 know urs

sorry this is abt to get so long and just know i dont necessarily believe any of this im saying words recreationally ! and i tried to think abt them as in quality of franchise, but i am obviously human with personal tastes and biases. i generally counted how many movies i gave 3 or more stars on letterboxd to get my numbering. below the cut for my takes!

- saw (8/9 or 88%) my babygirl. my sweet cheese. i can get why some people dont rock with it but writing it off as torture porn is unforgivable both in that its not, or not entirely, and okay so who cares torture those bitches !!!!! saw’s Quality is not consistent, but its premise is and its one of the most interconnected franchises which strengthens it as a series

- child’s play (6/8 or 80%): prefacing by saying this doesnt take the show into account, but the show is a wash for me anyways. child’s play is a perfect mix of funny and scary, both on a movie by movie basis and as a franchise. don mancini sucks at writing a tv show but his consistent hand in the series makes it a good franchise as far as consistency. edit i forgot about the terrible remake um. yeah. eep.

- final destination (4/5 or 80%): 1, 3, 5 are really good, 2 is decent, theyre fun! i rewatch them from time to time i love the concept i love tony todd and i think its impressive that theres really only one stinker (the final destination aka final destination 4 you will never be famous)

- scream (4/5 or 80%) very partial to the original, and i respect a lot of what scream does even in the movies i dont like as much, but the last film + upcoming no sidney lose points for me for sure. the first movie is standout, the rest are pretty consistent even if its at a level far below the first film. i havent seen the tv show

- noes (6/9 or 66%): my beloved <33333 i loooove the first three and i love new nightmare! the quality steadily deteriorates between those though it Is in a fun way most of the time. the atrocious remake damages this a lot for me but it Knows what it is, so you cant fault it for that. i would fight for noes as a favorite above scream and final destination, but its a weaker franchise overall imo

the next three i had a hard time putting in order tbh, but i guess what i’ll say is:

- psycho (3/5 or 60%): i really was surprised by how good the 2nd one is, cannot state that enough. but 3 flopped to me, the bates motel tv movie sucks, and ive heard the remake is horrible. the prequel is alright (it and 3 both get a half mark), though the whole franchise loses ground for the inherent issues with norman’s character. i havent seen the bates motel tv show.

- evil dead (2.5/4 or 63%): look. sorry, but its not for me. i love the first one and i love the remake, but the style of comedy isnt my thing in the two in between. its not BAD in the sense that it is what it set out to be, but i just dont like that thing very much, and i struggle to call it a better Franchise than most due to how varied its parts are. ash williams tboy swag you Will always be beloved tho, and the first one is a real fav of mine

- halloween (7/13 or 53%): the original is very dear to me, i love the weirdass hustle of 3, and i think halloween 2018 was a great start to a disappointing trilogy. the muddied timelines mean the franchise itself is a mess. one great movie does not a good franchise make! i might put this above psycho depending on the day, but the last movie was so atrocious it leaves a very bad taste in the franchise mouth

- friday the 13th (5/12 or 42%): i love campground horror and overall, the quality of f13 as a series is pretty consistent! its just that its pretty consistently bad. i respect the hustle of sending jason to space and manhattan but its not my kind of film

- tcm (3/9 or 33%): only the first two and the 03 remake are really good to me. i dont think people realize there are NINE of these. a lot of the other sequels are decent movies, bad tcm films, so a low ranking as an overall franchise. sorry tcm, your writers dont understand what makes you great!

so um yeah. im pulling for scream or noes to win at this point, but my opinions are clearly not very shared....also these could change at any time i cant stress enough how much even the lowest franchises here are beloved by me, rewatched by me, have posters on my walls, etc etc!!!

[lousybren]

ive never watched any indiana jones movie

but since theres a new one coming out i thought about binging them all to see if i like the saga enough to go to the theater

these are some of my disjointed thoughts as i watch them. there was a lot of oooh so thats where thats quote/meme is from

lost ark.

its set in the 30s?? if youd ask me id have guessed 60/70s. wait he steals artifacts from other cultures to sell to museums???? i thought he was like a big hero jgdfjhggjh. marion started lowkey as a badass but by the end she was like all over the place,,, was it the trauma. she couldnt catch a breath and kept screaming all the while. man shallam was right, not a single brain between all these nazis. indiana's little grunts are so funny. locations are cool but theres like a million extras, this must have been kinda hell to film. id seen a total of three scenes from this movie: the idol and boulder, the ark lightning up, and this man just shooting sword guy because the actor was tired or something. also interesting way to end the movie lmao

temple of doom.

a lot of screaming. again. dont drink from that cup what if its poison. it was poison. stop flexing just get on with the job and go!! hubris is gonna kill this guy the moment his luck runs out. dude you bring your women to like the worst(best) places. i dont recognize like anything from this one, other than the hat under the sliding door scene which i hadnt seen the og before. oh dear theres. more torture and gore and stuff that i would have thought, this one is raw. shorty makes the whole thing worthy tbh. not taking the shit to the museum CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT??

last crusade.

oohhh backstory time. daddy issues,,,,, should have known. ah theres the 'woman' character for this movie. she also screams quite a bit but this time shes a baddie. obviously sus looking guy: dont trust anyone. jones: bet * forgets this immediately*. not nazis agan jeez. the scene with the fire in the castle is hilarious tho. so far this is the funniest one, henry jones is a hoot and a half. oh thats. thats just petra lol. the cup scene i do remember somehow must have seen it back in the day when i had a tv. theres a solid ghost there its cool

now that i think about it i feel there wasnt really a resolution to the 'we never talked' issue. not really

crystal skull.

heard theres aliens in this one. still being kicked around i see, whens this man gonna retire. is that cate blanchett with an accent. i like the time period we're in, nice aes. interesting we get a boy companion now, hope he doesnt scream too much. 'i got stung by a huge scorpion!!' me: 'youll be fine the bigger the better'. indy 2 seconds later: 'the bigger the better' me: :D!! oh shit marion is here. mutt is HIS SON??? indy: 'all these women had something in common' me: '...they werent you?' indy: 'they werent you' me: :D!! oh man these action sequences are so ridiculous and go on forever lmao. what. what were these people doing inside the walls and columns, just waiting for intruders?? oh shit alien corpses. anyway this mac dude gonna get killed so hard. gurl all the knowledge ever is like, too much, its gonna kill you. aaaaaaaand it just did. i can excuse an alien ship being buried underground for millenia but i draw the line at these two dumbasses marrying after all, like whats the point of getting married sigh (im bias). i do like that there being aliens was never questioned too much by the characters. i appreciate this a lot

it just dawned on me that one of the boxes in area 51 broke and showed the ark from movie 1 and it was never acknoweleged in the rest of the film. huh

wilhelm scream count: 5 minimum

[danepopfrippery]

Im sitting here writing fixit fic and i the film nerd in me finally put together the prblm of s1 vs 2. Strictly a media literacy thing, and its gonna sound insane:

S1 was the muppets. Sure u cared about kermit and piggy, but you also cared about fozzie and the swedish chef and and and. While it had some save the cat beats (iyky) its hard to make a piece of film/tv that doesnt. Thats been the formula since birth of a nation.

You could say it had some if u will star wars og trilogy vibes (ive never seen them so this is by osmosis only)…but like if u made luke and han fall in love not leia and han.

What made it sing was the drama didnt outweigh the comedy and it had moments just to be silly. They slotted nicely with the drama.

S2 is star wars og trilogy instead which is obviously a heavier show/s than any muppet shit. Muppets have some dark times (opening of any of their films will show u that) but the silliness and camaraderie outweigh.

Star wars u got camaraderie but not much silly. Its more action and drama. And david jenkins is the perfect age to have those films shape his whole being (whether hes a fan or not). Instead of kermit meeting luke (yoda was fozzie bear guys) you have almost a shot for shot remake just w muppets instead. The group/family is less important, its now about Luke and Han (and leia i guess). There were various bad guys in the films but the father figure was obvs darth vader (father of luke and leia). He and yoda both figure in thru most of the films. Yoda appears as a sort of spirit guide and while not the literal father hes who luke thinks of in that vain.

So basically you have Izzy shoehorned into a Yoda/darth Vader slot when in s1 he maybe at best was weakly some of their characteristics. Vader’s hate of dumb rebels who actually win in the end, vader wanting to stick to how its been death star and all that shit. But he really fits neither til we get Stede’s taught him everything he knows line. Now izzy is ed’s mentor, when in no way or form was that ever shown before. David goes almost beat for beat from there incl killing Izzy, stealing Han’s ‘i know’ to love u line.

It went from something quite unique especially today in corporate ai generated bs media to yet another white dude remaking star wars out of his childhood fantasies. Extra rich given taika was to direct a star wars and maybe still will but seems to have even less fandom for it than i (i love me some carrie fisher thank you).

Thats why it was such a whiplash

[clownkiwi]

wowie zowie, there are a ton of new trailers!!!

there are a ton of new trailers for things im looking forward to this year that just dropped, here's my thoughts on them!!

star wars: the acolyte

the name of the game here is: cautious optimism. im being cautiously optimistic about this one because im more excited about new stories & characters in the star wars series rather than a reliance on pre-existing characters. idk, after the boba fett show, the obi wan show, mando season 3, & the ahsoka show, ive been worried about the state of star wars as its presented in shows (out of those 4, ive only ever seen 2 of them, & the quality seems pretty consistent across the board)

maybe the series just needed new names & stories to change things up. and i was initially excited for this one after it was announced to be part of the high republic initiative, an era of star wars we havent really seen in the disney canon yet. in terms of upcoming star wars content, this & the skeleton crew are like the only stuff im cautiously anticipating because of the wholly new content they're presenting

as for this show in particular, idk. ive seen people make fun of this (purely because of the recent battlefront rereleases reputation currently), but idk. this seems interesting, it seems like this one is gonna be more action packed than the slow lightsaber duels we've had in the most recent shows. and i like seeing a whole bunch of jedi together, im glad lucasfilms are getting comfortable enough to put a bunch of jedi in a scene together since the prequel films (theyve been slowly building up to this since at least the order 66 grogu flashbacks in the mando)

really, we'll have to see if this ends up being good or not when episodes start dropping in june

alien: romulus

speaking of classic 70s sci-fi series, ever since this and the tv show were announced, ive been looking forward to a new back-to-basics approach for alien!! after living through the prequel era of the 2010s, it kinda seems like the series was stuck in a weirdly creative rut?? idk, i havent actually sat through prometheus, and alien: covenant i thought was. OK. it was OK, serviceable.

but hearing that the next film would be an early reboot of the series set closer to our time, directed by fede alvarez of 2013's evil dead, i was a lil bit excited. even if i may not like 2013 evil dead, the kills in that were really gnarly & sick!! im ready to see him bring that energy into an alien film!!

and from the one minute teaser we got, it looks fun!! it looks like a fun alien movie

i liked the wave of facehuggers chasing people around

i also liked how Orange this film is. compared to like the first & second films (alien is a very Green film to me, & aliens is a very Blue film to me), i'm glad to see how Orange this film is. whenever i think of the 70s, i think of Orange, so im glad to see this film use Orange to its advantage

speaking of 70s, i like how this film accurately recaptures the exact set design of the original film. that exact feeling of claustrophobia in an old space trucker ship surrounded by an unknown lifeform that could kill you, its really cool!! this & isolation were like the only two alien media that accurately recaptured the original films unique set design

yeah, idk what else to say, this looks like a fun, freakier alien film than i ever expected!! i hope the writing quality will match up, but even if it doesnt, id be down to just watching some really freaky kills in space

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

The End of Year Movie Roundup You Didn't Know You Wanted (And Don't)

Crikey Mc Crikington IV! It’s been an interesting couple of years in the world of movies and TV, hasn’t it? Ever since 2016, it’s felt like good movies and TV shows are rare gems bobbing around in a sea of filth, never getting the attention they deserve and then disappearing back into the undifferentiated swill of garbage. It’s not that good stuff hasn’t been getting made- it’s just that it’s been struggling in a landscape dominated by absolute, reeking arse. But since, ooh, the latter part of 2022 to now, things feel a bit different, don’t they? It seems like the good stuff has been gaining ground; that- for a change- neither the alt-right, froth-mouthed dicks or the woke-washed virtue-signalling shitheads are winning the culture war. Instead, actual culture seems to be winning. Fancy fucking that. Of course, when I say ‘culture’, I don’t necessarily mean high culture. Nope. I’m talkin’ ‘bout that sweeeeet pop and pulp culture, y’all! Of course, there’s been a fair amount of blithering crap, too, but with the companies that push it (mainly Disney) haemorrhaging money like someone stabbed a bank, most of it feels increasingly irrelevant. So, I’m going to use this blog to deliver capsule reviews of the things that- to me- exemplify the best of last couple of years of pop culture, meaning some cack will make it into the mix. They’re not in chronological order or anything, by the way (though I have stuck the films ahead of the TV series). They’re just in the order that I felt like writing about them. Oh, boohoo, cry me a fucking river- it’s not like you pay for this shit.

John Wick Chapter 4 You’d think watching Keanu Reeves get thrown down stairs and off tall objects would eventually get old but, for some reason, it really, really doesn’t. The John Wick films are truly excellent pieces of cinema and have been from the start. Aside from being incredibly satisfying, violent, gritty revenge movies with fight choreography that would give Ghandi a hardon, they’re also beautiful, intricate exercises in subtle, intelligent world-building in which just a few key words or phrases- or a carefully-selected symbolic object- can pack an enormous amount of information into a few seconds. Oh, and they’re contemplations on the nature of honour and consequences that somehow transcend and act as a comment upon the genre of their birth without ever feeling like a trite condemnation or deconstruction of it. The fourth part does an excellent job of tying the series-thus-far together and providing a meaningful conclusion, which also happens to come loaded with some of the most brilliantly inventive action sequences of any movie from the past fifty years, a sound-track to die for and set-dressing to fucking drool over. No, it won’t be the last one of these- the films make too much money to just bury after four, despite the very final ending- but I appreciate that the movie treats itself as a finale and actually pays off and ties up all the storylines we’ve so far encountered. It’s nice to see a movie that acts like a movie rather than a mere episode of something; that has the panache to commit to the pretence of to its own myth-making. Easily one of my favourite flicks for a good, long time.

Smile Have I reviewed this before? I don’t remember or care: it’s so good, I’ll happily tell you how good it is a million times! In horror films, mental illness is very often the seasoning on a big plate of terrifying shizz, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen it used as effectively as it is here, with the main character understanding from the get-go that the supernatural horror she’s experiencing mimicks a mental breakdown and tailoring her responses and survival strategies accordingly. Meanwhile, the unnamed entity manipulates perception and its victim’s psychopathology in a way that’s clearly designed to eat away at her sense of reality while also making other people think she’s crazy and alienating her from her support network. The result is a tense, terrifying cat-and-mouse game between an intelligent, adaptable protagonist with wits and an actual, physical body on their side and an unknowable, awful entity with absolute power over their perception of reality but no corporeal form with which to threaten them. The threat feels plausible and horrifying, but we- as viewers- never become inured to it, because it also seems surmountable: we don’t just switch off and accept the lead character’s fate (a problem with a lot of horror movies) because there is a chance of survival, and we feel that right from the off. The body-horror reveal of the monster’s true form (or, at least, the form it chooses to project during the final stages of its assault) is spectacular, gripping and shit-your-pants scary. Seriously, this film won’t just have made money for cinemas: it will have saved countless laundromats and dry-cleaners from going out of business. It’s trouser-ruiningly good. If you need to be scared out of your tiny mind at short notice, I can whole-heartedly recommend Smile.

Luther: The Fallen Sun Fuckin’ Nora, Idris, do you want some mash to go with this absolute banger of a movie? I found out after watching it that this flick got mediocre reviews and that really only serves to demonstrate that most film critics couldn’t find their arses with a state-of-the-art laser-guided arse-finding system. I suspect that the problem most critics had is that they went in expecting a police procedural and got a neo-noir thriller in which the method of investigation is less important than the spectacular nature of the crime, the heroism of the protagonist and the character of the setting. This is a slick, stylish little movie, polished until it slightly outshines most supernovas. It’s set predominantly in a version of London that feels less like the modern world and more like the city in the grip of the Crays- its like a parallel universe where the tropes and aesthetic preoccupations of the Diamond Geezer era never went away and instead evolved alongside technology. That was also the original Luther series, of course, so you’d think people would know what to expect, but it’s been awhile since that aired and modern critics and audiences apparently have the memory spans of fucking grasshoppers. Now, to return to the point: style, an interesting world, a compellingly psychotic villain and the presence of Idris Elba all make this a good film, but the reason it’s a great film is much more basic: it actually makes you feel things. It depresses me that the bar has sunk that low in recent years, since movies purport to be art and the whole point of art is to make you feel stuff, but very few modern movies have engaged me like Luther, which absolutely nails its pacing, scripting and acting to produce something that hits right in the soul. Without spoiling anything, there’s a bit involving a room filling with gasoline while a filament slowly heats up to ignition-temperature… and halfway through, I realised my heart was racing, my palms were starting to sweat and I was clenching my teeth, desperately hoping that the two characters trapped inside would make it out alright- even though I’d spent most of the movie wanting to slap one of them. I’ve seen movies with clashing armies and exploding planets that felt less epic. A truly well-crafted movie can do more with a single lit fuse than a standard-issue flick can achieve with an entire fireworks display. And that’s why you ought to see this movie.

If you’ll permit me to go a bit meta before we move on, this is also the thing I’ve been begging for since the BBC ruined Doctor Who and deprived me of a lead in the mainstream media I could relate to and root for. I mean, I know Doctor Who's good again now anyway, but I appreciate this too. We’ve got a British hero who thinks his way around problems and displays a laudable- even noble- version of masculinity that’s been missing from screens for a really long time (and he gets to be the hero right up until the end- there’s no fucking bait-and-switch bullshit here). We’ve got a world that’s sufficiently different from the real world to be worth exploring. We’ve got absolutely zero virtual-signalling impinging on the plot and characterisation. And that’s it. This is literally all I fucking wanted. Not so fucking hard, was it, mainstream media? Why the fuck did I have to wait so fucking long?

Oppenheimer And now, ladies and gentlemen, we come to a piece of cinema so glorious- so beautifully-crafted and intricate and meaningful- that I have absolutely no hesitation in calling it the best movie of the decade. I also have no hesitation in calling it ‘Boppenheimer’, because it is an absolute fucking bop and I’ll fight anyone who says different. Folks, if this movie is still playing at a cinema near you, go and see it. If it’s not, find some other way to see it. This isn’t just the height of Christopher Nolan’s movie-making career- the apotheosis of his talents and a showcase for the amazing actors he can attract- it’s also a true cultural moment: something that everyone should share in and appreciate together. It’s hard to describe what makes this film so fucking good, but you know what? I’m going to have a crack at it! Ostensibly, it’s a retelling of the invention of the atomic bomb and the aftermath of its first detonations in a theatre of war. But it’s so, so much more. It’s a character study reflecting on the motives, flaws and redemptive qualities of a Jewish man terrified that Nazi Germany would unlock the power of the atom before the allies. It’s a reappraisal of this man- who has oft been condemned for bringing such an evil invention into the world- recognising that he was a pawn of much darker forces doing what little he could do to spare the world yet greater evils. It’s an exposé of the way the US government of the time exploited and then tossed aside the nation’s brightest minds; using their insight and intellectual labour but refusing to listen to their dire warnings about the misuse of the power they were developing. It’s a study of the prejudices and flawed relations that characterised life in the 1940s and 50s. It’s a deep dive into the workings of the mid-20th Century scientific community. It is, quite simply, brilliant. From its visualisation of atomic physics to the ingenious ways it finds to show Oppenheimer’s doubt and guilt over the use of his weapon, Oppenheimer is a once-in-a-generation piece of media whose import and significance can’t and shouldn’t be denied. I thoroughly expect it to take its place in the western cinematic canon alongside Citizen Kane, Doctor Strangelove, The Seventh Seal, Alien, The Truman Show and other lightning-in-a-bottle one-offs whose existence could never have been conceived before they came screaming into existence with the swagger of inevitability and- appropriately in this case- the explosive roar of sheer newness.

Er… I really like this film.

Slumberland And now, a family film! A fucking excellent family film, in fact! Loosely based on the Little Nemo in Slumberland comic strips from the 1930s (and I do mean loosely), it’s a movie about a troubled young girl dealing with tragedy by escaping into a very literal world of dreams, which ultimately serves as the route and method by which she forges new, meaningful connections in the waking world. And if that sounds a little heavy, don’t panic: there’s also a scene in which we learn that the most popular dream in Canada involves riding a giant goose like a fucking dragon. I don’t want to spoil too much of this one, because every dream sequence and plot-point is delightfully inventive and unexpected and really deserves to be experienced fresh. It’s rare to stumble onto something so thoroughly and completely charming and it’s always refreshing when you do. Slumberland handles important themes with a lightness and dextrousness that makes them accessible and comprehensible to the younger members of its audience while keeping its world and plot vital and interesting for older viewers who might already have had their fill of such themes. Normally, I’d deduct points for gender-flipping the main character from the source material, but on this occasion it’s a bit of a non-issue. The Nemo of the comics was a bit of cipher and- if you really need him to be in it, it’s kind of heavily implied that this Nemo’s father was the original. Besides which, Jason Mamoa’s over-exuberant dream-dweller, ‘Flip’, provides a sympathetic masculine presence for any young lads in the audience and he gets nearly as much screen time as the ostensible POV character. So, having addressed the elephant in the room, all that remains to say is: THIS IS A VERY FUCKING GOOD FAMILY FILM. Though maybe not quite as good as…

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish Excuse me, but what fucking right does this film have to be as good as it is? I mean, it’s a spin-off of a minor character from the Shrek films about a talking cat going on a quest to find a magic star that grants wishes. Why the fuck is it one of the best things I’ve seen in years? I mean, on the surface, it’s just a really fun family flick. It’s funny; its set-pieces are creative; its characters are entertaining and larger than life; its animation style is fresh and frankly enchanting. But then it also decided that it wanted to be a meditation on confronting the ageing process and its implied threat of mortality. And it fucking nails it. It’s not prescriptive or lecturing: it sympathises with Puss’s fears as he realises he’s used up all but one of his nine lives… but it ultimately shows that his increasing age doesn’t have to define him. Add a few quiet, tender moments of the kind often missing from the hyperactive movies of the last few years, a wonderfully psychotic villain and a B-plot about the value of found families, bonded by love rather than blood, and what you have is a truly excellent slice of entertainment that wears its heart on its sleeve and, in a landscape littered with insincere corporate garbage, is remarkable for its sincerity.

A Haunting in Venice Okay, brutal honesty time: Kenneth Brannaugh (who I just misspelled) isn’t as good in the role of Poirot as David Suchet was. However, it feels unfair to judge him or his take on Agatha Christie’s classic mysteries by that metric, since Suchet’s Poirot was a spectacular, long-running, genre-defining figure who probably won’t be equalled in televised detection fiction any time this millennium. Judged on its own merits, A Haunting in Venice is a deliciously intricate, intelligently-realised film which succeeds in saying something new about its central character and doing something new with its genre. Loosely based on Christie’s The Halloween Party, A Haunting in Venice takes on the overtones of a horror story and pits Poirot against forces that may be genuinely supernatural in a setting and world that embraces gothic aesthetics and conceits as much as it does those of the detective-genre. I don’t want to give too much away, but I will see that A Haunting in Venice finds just the right balance between horror and rationality and toys with ambiguity in a way that a lot of modern movies- keen to over-explain things to an imagined audience of thickos- might miss. It also knows how to treat its subject matter with sobriety when it counts without sacrificing an overall sense of playfulness.

A final note: its predecessor, Death on the Nile, was probably the weakest of the Brannaugh trilogy (and Venice does feel like the final entry in a trilogy), despite the welcome presence of Dawn French as an eccentric communist lesbian. Death on the Nile made its Poirot a little too prickly and unforgiving and also had him reflect Christie’s real-life conservative-with-a-small-c politics, which (though confined to one or two lines) made for uncomfortable viewing at best. While I understand the intention was to contrast him against characters who today’s viewers would find more relatable, it served to rob the protagonist of some of his wisdom and mystery (Poirot needn’t be a paragon of progressivism- in fact, that would be just as bad- but he ought to be above such things; a rarefied figure concerned less with politics than his own moral imperatives). Luckily, Venice seems to have learned from these mistakes and eschews even minor forays into politics, preferring instead to focus on character drama and a battle between rationality and magical thinking to generate its various tensions. Yeah. Good choice.

Peacemaker That more or less does it for the films (well, the good films- the dreck will get their own blog at some point), but there’s still a couple of telly shows I want to talk about. Starting with this one! Peacemaker is one of the funniest, most over-the-top shows of the last ten years. Billed as a superhero program, it’s really more a comedy and ode to schlocky pop culture framed that uses a superhero story as a framing device. While it also has some important and timely things to say about the threat of climate crisis and ends on a bit of a downer (which I won’t spoil), the overall experience is one of hilarious, ludicrous, over-the-top scenes punctuated by some of the best heavy rock ever used in any show’s soundtrack and a lot of down-time devoted exclusively to really, really funny dialogue. If you liked Archer but felt it could benefit from more heavy metal interludes, the comedy here is very much in the same style: people talking at cross-purposes in a way that leverages their clashing belief systems, background and mental illnesses for comic effect. Ultimately, as with Archer, its acerbic tartness also serves as cover for a heart of gold. There’s no meanness of spirit or coldness to Peacemaker. If anything, I’d describe its approach to characterisation as joyously redemptive, while its overt inclusivity isn’t the clinical box-ticking of most Hollywood ‘diversity’, but rather seems to stem from an all-embracing, eclectic fascination with the way human beings are shaped by background and divergent life-experiences. It’s really, really good to see this done well for a change.

Oh, and there’s bits that are also a bit sexy.

One Piece I never got round to watching the original One Piece anime, despite my abiding affection for Japanese animation. That wasn’t a deliberate thing- there was just always something else to watch first. As it turns out, that was a stroke of luck, since I now get to watch the English-language, live-action adaptation fresh and it’s a fucking delight. It’s also so profoundly weird that I have no idea how to explain why it’s so good to a normal, sane reader. Between the violently revolutionary fish people, the murder-clowns with detachable body parts, the fruits that give you superpowers, the badass martial-arts chefs arguing over oregano, the sexy, plus-sized pirate queens, the sea-snails that act like living telephones and the high-ranking military leaders with very silly hats, it’s kind of hard to know where to start. What I can tell you is that the whole world of One Piece is absolutely fascinating: a nautical civilisation of a thousand islands whose technology seems to have evolved in such a way that sail-based ship-travel, gunpowder cannons and neon lights are all in use at the same time; where traditional aristocratic societies coexist with violent samurai clans; where piracy is less a crime than a lifestyle choice. I can tell you its characters are compelling and ridiculous… yet also compellingly, sincerely heroic in a way that western-origin protagonists are rarely allowed to be, lest the show-runners be accused of reinscribing toxic ideals. I can tell you that the fight scenes are epic and the special effects regard little things like physics with a magnificent degree of contempt. And, of course, I can tell you that it’s bloody good fun.

Doctor Who 2023 Specials After a shaky start with The Star Beast (which kinda felt like the first draft of a better script to me- see my full review) the Who specials shaped up to be some of the best telly in years- high concept sci-fi and cosmic horror seen through the lens of off-beat humour and silliness that my home country still does better than anywhere else. After the wilderness of the Chibnall/Whitaker years, the specials felt like getting Doctor Who back as an early Xmas present. I won’t go on and on here since I’ve written several full reviews for the individual episodes, but I feel it’s important to state again my delight that this exists.

And that’s probably enough to be getting on with, don’t you think? Well, guess what: you don’t get a vote! This is the end of the blog whether you like it or not. You can piss off now.

[aubigney]

i'm starting to think this habit is a lifestyle.

[posted 3 days ago]

it used to be that every few months i would go a night of no sleep. it’s okay, i reasoned, because i would sleep enough the next night. it was usually on a friday or a saturday night, so i could sleep all of sunday and feel refreshed and ready for my students on monday.

i began to notice a pattern, though, a pattern which, of course, my adhd brain never fucking remembers. i would never sleep on the nights i film videos. last night i filmed two videos, because now i batch in order to blast content from my urethral tubes at the speed of light (2 videos a week). i’m so tired, my tits hurt for some reason, but i’m the happiest i think i’ve ever been since i met my wife. if it is possible to be even happier than the day i met her, than the day i realised i fell in love with her, than the day we decided to get married, then this is it. i’m the happiest i have ever been.

let’s keep it rolling, babes. if by some miracle you found me in the wild, check out my youtube videos @ aubigney tv, and if you came over from youtube, well. this is what you’re getting!

i think i’ve figured out some things to do with my business. the first is that i don’t want money from individual people. patreon is a no-go every time i try it, and some of my audience is people living in poverty and some of it is students who have no money. i don’t want money from those sides of my audience. your views, likes, and comments are enough.

the second thing is that what i want money from is companies. corporations. conglomerates. chaebols. other c words that we all know and love. corporatism is alive and well, babes, and i would be a fool not to milk it. of course, i have a very small audience and garner a small amount of views, so it would be ridiculous to expect a company, any company, to want to work with me. maybe when i’m a… sigh… microinfluencer of say a couple thousand subscribers. it’s something i could look into then.

i’m also interested in getting more involved with the poverty and disability sector in my local area. i’m ashamed to admit this but i haven’t given it much thought until a few weeks ago. a friend of mine mentioned that they work as a carer and i thought, “i’m good with people. i could do that job.��� that, however, remains to be seen. i’m not sure what good i could do or what area i should go into—or even if anyone will have me. helping people is a tough gig to break into in that sense, but to be perfectly honest, i don’t think i’m going to be able to connect with people in a meaningful way if i don’t.

this life, this love, this joy, is all about making connections. it’s about meeting people and being charmed by them. and i’m so, so ready to charm.

p.s. i’m currently obsessed with the game don’t starve (did i mention that in my previous video?) and it’s cluttering my mind palace. i’m hungry now, which is what always happens when i play don’t starve for hours at a time.

p.p.s. i scrapped a video yesterday that had to do with critiquing a poem (“night walk” by franz wright). not because the video wasn’t good, it just wasn’t interesting. i am, as they say, following my bliss, aligning my chakras, and drinking the blood of the innocent like my personal friend gwyneth paltrow. (i swear i saw a business guru youtuber with an iv drip and all the comments were “bro are you okay?” yeah he’s just taking up vital fluids needed to give to sick people, don’t worry about it.) as much as i love media, i’m not in love with it anymore. i’m taking a turn. chucking a u-ey. doing burnouts in the macca’s parking lot. you know how it is.

p.p.p.s. the video coming out on tuesday is an interview with a fellow youtuber! exciting.

[hereforhalstead]

Puppy Dog Eyes

*Gif not mine, full credit to the owner*

• Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader.

• Requested: Yes!

Please please please can you write no 15 from your prompt list?

I just know you'd be able to write the cutest thing from it and I love your fluff Jay so much.

• Warnings: Bit of angst?

• Summary: Jay comes home in a bad mood and is looking for the jumper of his that you’re wearing and cannot resist the look of you in it.

• Words: 1,804.

• A/N : IM SO SORRY IVE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG😭 I’ve had such a busy few weeks and everytime I though I’d be able to fit some writing in, something got in the way. This is a very short one but wanted to get back into it with some fluffy!Jay, also a bit all over the place but we love to see it lmao. Working through my requests so keep them coming as I love to see what ideas you come up with. Thank you for the support and I hope you enjoy🥰

***

“Have you seen that navy jumper you bought me last year?” Jay’s voice echos across the room as you hear him digging through the drawers in the bedroom you share

“Can’t say I have” you innocently respond, bringing the blanket you had encased yourself in up to your chin to conceal your attire

He strides out of the room, one hand on his hip with the other running through his hair as he examines every possible space for the missing garment.

“Maybe you left it at work?”

You try and change the subject, quickly trying to avert his attention to the TV show you were watching “Has this guy been in a film we watched recently? I really recognize him?”

You hear him grunt from behind you, knowing he didn’t even stop to look in your direction as he continues his hunt. 

“Are you sure you haven’t seen it baby? You always say it was your favorite” Jay pushes your question to one side as he individually pulls off each of the jackets on the stand by the front door. 

Without even looking at him you can see the furrow in his brows, the huff that is about to escape his throat, the way his tongue would be pressed against the roof of his mouth in frustration. 

Shit. 

You’d been off work with a fever so wanted nothing more than to bury yourself in your boyfriends clothes and tuck yourself away under a blanket for the day. Normally, Jay didn’t care if you stole his jumpers. In fact he loved it.

Seeing you with his clothes hanging from your frame as you traipse about the apartment bought upon him a happiness he couldn’t explain.

Watching as you push up the sleeves as they extend past your wrists, the way the fabric would hit the top of your thighs and how his eyes would be glued to you when you reached to grab something off the top shelf to reveal an inch more of skin was one of the greatest pleasures he ever experienced.

On this day though, he wasn’t in the mood. He walked through the front door with a grunt, throwing his keys on the side and slamming it behind him. He didn’t know you were home from work as he usually tried to keep his bad moods hidden from you. 

No matter how hard you tried to get him to open up and share his feelings, he had his own way of dealing with things and you respected that. He knew you were there for him and that he could talk to you about anything when and if he wanted to and that was enough to keep you satisfied. 

All he wanted was to make a quick trip to the local shop to pick up some things for you to help you feel better. Your favorite ice cream, a bottle of freshly squeezed orange juice or even just some cold and flu tablets to help ease your symptoms. 

“I think it was Fast and Furious” you innocently comment, now beginning to feel a bead of sweat drip down your back from the rising temperature caused by the blanket and feeling under somewhat of an interrogation. 

“You don’t think I’ve lost it do you?” Jay again ignores your question to which you chuckle “Lost the jumper or lost your marbles?” 

You turn to look at him as he merely murmurs at your excuse of a joke “Earth to Jay” you call out, causing him to snap his head over to you which for the first time allows you to see the irritated look that was sweeping across his face.

“Why do you want the jumper so bad? Just get another?”

He immediately stopped what he was doing.

“It’s just a jumper, no big deal. You own plenty of others” you unbeknownst to you, continued to dig yourself into a hole. “What makes that one so special? It was from an outlet, it’s hardly fancy”

You desperately kept the blanket pressed into your neck to hide the top of the jumper he was currently looking for.

You felt bad for wearing it when he clearly wanted to, but felt it had gone too far for you to suddenly confess you’d been wearing it the entire time he seemed to be ripping the place apart to try and find it.

“I shouldn’t have to give a reason Y/N, I just want to wear the jumper so I can go to the store in minus 10 degree weather to get you some stuff to cheer you up without freezing to death” 

You huff and stand to let the blanket fall from you and pool at your feet “Fine, you want the jumper so bad just take it” you spit out.

Attempting to wriggle your arms free to throw it at him with the anger that had built up inside of you. 

Why was he so set on wearing the stupid jumper when all you wanted to do was be engulfed in something that reminded you of him and bought you the comfort you were craving? 

I mean it was his jumper but.. sharing’s caring right?

The speed and level of roughness you were trying to get the jumper off with wasn’t making it an easy job. You were stuck in the material without knowing which was the arm hole and which was the head hole.

Now stood in the middle of the apartment, head buried into the fabric as you desperately tried to pull the jumper off of your clammy skin.

“Baby, just stop. Hold on” Jay’s voice was instantly softer than the annoyance his tone was previously laced with “Let me help”. 

You felt his hands grabbing at the end of the sleeves, pulling them to help you slide them off your arms before finally lifting the entire thing from your frame. 

Being face to face with Jay caused every ounce of frustration to drain from your body in a flash. You knew you didn’t have a right to be in a mood with him for wanting his own jumper, but the mixture of him being in a huff from work and you being too comfortable in his scent caused the situation to esculate to a stupid level over a $10 jumper from a store in Miami. 

“Why didn’t you say you were wearing it? You know I don’t mind when you wear my stuff” his words were as soothing to you as medication, the way the sweet words just fell off his tounge was one of the things you loved most about him. 

He always knew what to say and in the best ways.

“You seemed so desperate to find it so I felt bad” you confessed, head resting on his chest to avoid his eye contact “I could hardly own up after watching you trash the place”.

You felt his chest rumble in a silent laughter, bringing his hand to the back of your head to place a kiss to your temple “I’m glad you find it funny, thought you were going to kill me with the mood you were in” you attempted to shift the conversation into a lighter tone as he propped his head on top of yours. 

“I couldn’t kill you” he huffed “Then I definitely wouldn’t get the jumper back, contaminating evidence and all that” you snapped your head up to meet his gaze. Seeing the light in his eyes and the grin he was trying to suppress made  a smile creep onto your face as you shook your head “You’re an idiot”. 

You returned your head back to the crook of his neck, the pair of you standing in a comfortable silence as his hand lightly ran up and down your back with the occasional kiss to the side of your head as you nestled into him further. 

“Lift your head up baby” he gently demanded, retracting himself from you to separate your bodies. 

You let out a groan as he took a step back, watching as he propped the jumper back above your head, looking up in confusion as he tilted his head in a gesture “Arms up”. 

“You don’t wanna wear it?” you asked whilst already extending your arms to return the jumper back onto your body. Innocently pouting your lip and widening your eyes in a guiltless manner as he smiled down at you, excitement running through you like a child at Christmas.

“Don’t give me that puppy dog face. How am I supposed to say no to that?”

You didn’t need convincing as he pulled the jumper down your body and watched as you instinctively bought the cuffs to your face in comfort “You’re my weakness, you know that?” He confessed, gently cupping your chin with his hand.

You couldn’t find the words to respond, he always knew how to leave you speechless and this was no exception. He let out a content hum as you pressed your lips against his, lingering them for a few seconds as he pressed his hand into your lower back to keep you against him. 

“I’m gonna go get us a drink, want one?” you asked, ushering yourself away from him but only getting a few steps before he reached out to grab your hand and bring you back into him. 

“You wanna know why it’s my favourite?” he softly asked, grazing his fingertips up and down your arms as a shy smile formed on his face, a harsh swallow soon ensued as you nodded. 

“It reminds me of you and you is where I always want to be”. 

**

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