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#but lately I just feel like she's gonna abandon me...
binnie · 3 months
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you guys.... i'm going down a spiral and I need advice
#my best friend (my favourite person in the world) has been acting kinda distant lately#she's been struggling with depression so I figured she just needed some space#we still talk on instagram every day and send each other reels all the time#but lately I just feel like she's gonna abandon me...#she's growing up and has a job and a boyfriend and is doing well for herself#meanwhile i'm a failure lmao i flunked twice and am still in uni and barely surviving this school year with absoltely no (...)#(...) prospects and hope for the future. on top of that i'm a depedent clingy selfish useless jealous baby#she deserves better than me and she's bound to realize that so i'm not surprised this is happening. but it still hurts.#last night she sent me a message on ig saying she missed me but deleted it immediatly so i didn't have time to respond#which most likely means she meant to send it someone else and sent it to me by mistake#which means she doesn't miss me at all (she could have just kept the message and it'd be no trouble#but the fact she deleted it so quickly without a second thought just means she doesn't care about me#we haven't seen each other in a month so that hurts#i panicked and “replied” saying i missed her too but she left me on read#now she's sending me reels but I can't bring myself to even open our chat because it just hurts#I wish we could just cut the chord and end the friendship at once instead of having me slowly watch it crumble#i hate this#i'm so sad#i'm gonna be all alone#i'm completely isolated from everyone and it's my fault for depending on her so much#it hurts so much I don't even want to see her#i don't know what to do
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kithtaehyung · 5 months
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broken, pt. 1 (3tan) | myg
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title: broken (pt. 1) pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) series:masterlist | three tangerines | fireworks | house party | basketball | stay | sidewalk talk | friends | dalo | like that | anytime | sundress season | yoongi’s interlude | forfeit | flutter | video call | busted rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: chilling conversations prolong things even further… until everything goes to hell. note: this is only one half of what was supposed to be a whole chapter! broken, pt. 2 will come out after i've had time to make it something i'm proud of. trying to rush everything out didn't do any favors, so hilariously and ironically, broken is broken up into two hahaha. warnings: language, angst, tension, yoongi’s pov is longgg, alcohol consumption, tobacco mentions, bro🥲, yoongi in the studio😩, the studio boys make another appearance👀, …someone else makes their first appearance👀👀, scuffles, tense situations, did i say angst?, water bottles get their own warning, long hair yoongi, basketball yoongi🫠, crying, bro a ha ha, jimin has tats and he’s not afraid to show them, the chains stay on(???), …bad boy yoongi😀👍, honestly he is on another level of warning here don’t perceive me💀, the fluff is fluffing here like what, backstory we’ve been waiting for😗, yoongi on the phone, hand holding :’)), kissing :’)), oh god the kissing❤️‍🩹, there’s just a lot in both parts i'm sorry y'all playlist: broken (lp) drop date: dec 3rd, 2023, 4:00pm est word count: ...19.1k 🚶‍♀️
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Words abandon you.
They stand far from your form, pitying observers of your decaying state in front of the man you’ve been lying to. At once, you feel completely alone, not even Yoongi’s lingering presence helping when those eyes are piercing through time and space. Everything you’ve experienced over the past two years slings across your vision, from the first time you left your house in the pouring rain to get to Yoongi’s, to the car ride back you just took with his kiss still on your lips. 
All of those moments shattering into dust around your heels. 
Your feet make lines in them when you move to close the front door, something leaving your mouth before you can judge if it makes sense, “About what?” 
Zero sense. Absolute zero sense. Which your brother has absolute zero patience for. The drone in his question hits you like a punch to the gut, “Really.” 
“Just out late, is all,” you grumble, trying your best to not acknowledge an atmosphere so tense it’s almost crowded. “Jimin had another party, remember?” 
“Course I do.”
Huh? Wait. Why does he sound so—
“I was there.”
Dread launches up your veins, rocketing right to your heart in the middle of a pulse. He was there? You saw his car when Yoongi pulled up close to the house. He was there? When the fuck did he arrive? Oh, fuck, if he got there early enough… did he see you… and Yoongi…
No. There’s no way. Because one, Yoongi parked far down and around the corner. He made sure not to be close just in case you two could be spotted. 
With a thought you really cannot afford right now, you also assume he stayed that distance just so that he could pin you against his car. Fucking hell, focus! Upping the strength of your resolve to match cardboard, you lamely stall in your hunt for clarification, “You were?” 
“I was.” 
The watch on his wrist glints in its twist. When aggravated veins stare back at you, it’s obvious your brother is on the edge. Because he is deathly calm. “So where’d you go?” 
You blink, not having expelled a single breath since you stepped foot inside. 
Does he not know? Or does he know and he’s just waiting for you to finally spill? With all the hope in the universe, you yearn for it to be the first one. Because you cannot deal with a fallout right now. Not right after what happened with Yoongi. 
It’s just not the right time. 
“Yuri’s,” you blurt, finally kicking into gear and strategizing how you’re gonna finesse this. “She came and got me.” 
Your sibling just stands there, eyes a solid beam before he sighs at clasped wrists. 
Here it comes. He’s gonna ask why you didn’t say anything. Like he always does because for some reason you’re still not a true adult to him and he has to keep tabs on you at all times and you can’t just sneak around with his best friend in peace—
“K.” Your eyes shake once. “Just tell me next time.” 
And just like that, your brother vacates the foyer, dark dress shoes clacking as he retreats back into his room. Leaving you standing in silence. 
All the words around you just as speechless. 
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Just like that, you’re gone again.
After watching you leave and wishing you didn’t have to, Yoongi shuts his door to rest ponderous thoughts on worn wood. Eyes closed and a storm on his mind’s horizon.
Just a little longer. He hopes you’ll understand. This is just something he needs. More than anything else. 
Exhausted, he peels himself from the door, meandering through the bog of his living room. Trudge, trudge, trudge to the dining table, skirting fingers along the edge and noting that it feels different than before. 
At least something in his apartment has changed for the better. 
Who would’ve thought that table would witness both an end and a beginning. That it would see the worst and best of him. If it was ever called to stand, there’s no doubt that it could recite all his failures and shortcomings. But he hopes that it would also attest to how much he’s fucking tried. 
As much as Yoongi wants to throw it out, he hasn’t. Because despite being withered to hell, all it needed to recover was the new company of a familiar face. 
And a little bit of summer rain. 
It watches as his thoughts move on, and soaks in the blues and pinks of sunrise as he crosses into the bedroom. At the feel of your lingering presence, Yoongi gnaws on his lip. 
What the fuck does he do now? The moment you leave, he wants nothing more than to have you back in his bed. It’s the one fact that he has come to fully acknowledge. Because there are many times you’ve caught him slipping. But when you’re lost to your dreams? Visibly at peace and safe under his sheets? That’s when he can’t even think straight. 
How your serenity throws him into disarray, Yoongi has no fucking clue.
But he can’t afford these feelings right now. Because how can he want you close while being the reason for this distance? Make it make sense. Don’t be a fucking hypocrite. Tsking, Yoongi once again accepts the consequences, heading to his bathroom before going back the fuck to sleep. 
Lies. Who is he kidding? There’s no way his rest will be the same without you. Especially since he doesn’t know when he’ll get to see you next. 
There is a way to remedy that. To put an end to your time apart. But Yoongi’s been so in his fucking head that it’s chaining him down and pulling taut. No matter how much he struggles, he can’t break free, and it’s driving him to the brink.
But last night? With you? Half moons mar his palms as he stands. Staring. Branding that whole memory into his heart.
After three months of questioning his existence. 
All it took was your soft hums to give him a reason. 
And you won’t ever know how much that meant to him. Not until Yoongi finally decides to tell you. Which will most likely be never. Maybe that’s why this time tears at his chest more than all the others. Maybe that’s why he stood in his doorway longer than usual. Maybe that’s why he can’t quite carry the weight in his chest.
Dumping himself on dark mountains—creations of his and your design—Yoongi buries his face in those valleys. Inhales those aromas like some hit he can live off of for however many days left he needs. 
Desperately grasping for a fading world where only you two exist. Drifting. Dreaming. Disarmed by a vibration on his nightstand.
The fuck.
Who is texting him this early. There are only a few people he has notifications on for wait it’s probably you saying you’re home.
Peeling himself off the sheets with a groan, Yoongi simply shifts his upper body to reach for his phone, squinty-eyed as he checks his screen.
And he doesn’t see your name.
Dumbass: 1 New Message
But your brother’s.
What the hell does he—
Dumbass [07:30]: We need to talk.
…Shit.
Yoongi grips his phone in panic, ice water streaming through his veins and mind set ablaze with potential scenarios.
He’s awake. You went home. And he’s awake. Fuck, did anything happen? Did you say anything? What are the chances this text means he found everything out? 
Shit. 
Does Yoongi answer now? Or does he sleep and pretend that this is just a text and isn’t a problem at all? Think. Your brother may not even be referencing you, or him. Right? It could be something completely different. 
Why can’t he fucking move? 
Every regret Yoongi’s kept at bay floods his brain, crashing into assumptions of your mental state and creating a massive whirlpool of dread. Just answer. Don’t answer. Just answer. Don’t fucking answer. Suddenly, another alert lights his home screen and it’s a call oh fuck—wait… It’s Jungkook? 
Why not. Sure. What’s one more issue. 
Picking up, Yoongi runs hard fingers through his hair as he answers.
“Hey, you coming?”
“Huh?”
“We have that session in thirty.”
The what. The session? Oh, fuck. The session. Yoongi completely forgot they had a recording booked today because they were so hyped last night to get a date for the release party shit. Vacating his bed, Yoongi answers with a low, “Yeah, I’ll be there.” 
“Yeah, don’t be late. It’s those guys from before.” 
Fuck, it’s that one. The dudes that stopped by the studio just as things were wrapping up, shocking everyone when they scheduled some time. Highly successful musicians and performers booking something with a no name studio? Things are rolling in the right direction and coming along fast. 
But as things go. If they don’t take this shit seriously, everything can crash just as quickly.
“Heading out,” Yoongi finally says as he yanks a hoodie from his closet, and a loud vibration against his ear makes him flinch. 
Dumbass [7:40]: Heading over
Fuck!
“You okay?” 
“Shit, yeah.” Yoongi grips soft material before his phone hits his desk with a thump. Hastily dressing, he grunts, “Maybe. Might be like two minutes late.” 
“Nah, come now.” 
He’s heading over? Your brother? If that’s the case, there’s no way he doesn’t know. 
Fuck, relax. Don’t overthink. If anything, there wouldn’t have even been a heads-up. Yoongi figures he’d just find out as soon as he’s thrown against a wall. Or the ground. Or right onto his coffee table that this very guy helped pick out. Shit, he needs to know but he doesn’t wanna find out. 
But nevermind him. Are you okay? Swiping his device, Yoongi quickly types a text before fast-walking out of his room, going on autopilot when he assures into his receiver, “I’ll get there.” 
Yoongi [7:42]: Going to the studio
“On time? You better!”
Goddamn, he’s juggling too much right now. 
As Yoongi breaks into the dining room, he hears a rustling on the line before other voices jut through the speaker. Sounds like Hobi and Joon are already there, and the next thing said further spikes his stress level another peak, 
“We’re already cutting it close with the prep.” 
Fucking hell, the prep. The mics, the tracks, the setup. They forgot to do all of it. Something inside of him starts snarling and almost pounces through the phone, “Fuck, we should’ve been ready already.” 
“Shit, I know.” 
“We can’t keep doing this.” 
“Dude, relax, I get it.” 
“Do you? Cus this is… Fuck.” 
“Yeah, yeah, we’ll get it done but it’s gonna be tight. Hey, where’s the… Damn it, what’s it called?”
Frustrated and rummaging through his pantry, Yoongi knows he sure as hell didn’t think about anything else as soon as he heard you crying on the line. If he had remembered while leaving the studio, he could’ve spared a brain cell to rush everyone back in. “The what.” 
“The… The overhead mic for the drums.” 
Of course, he’d repeat every decision he made last night. Over, and over, and over again. But any of them should’ve remembered this step before leaving, which pisses him off. The studio’s lack of experience is showing and it’s making him nervous. 
And Yoongi still doesn’t know what’s going on with his best friend. 
“We need two overheads for drums,” he corrects while swiping a water bottle from the counter. And he’s about to rattle off where they are when he feels another long buzz. 
Dumbass: Incoming Call 
Of fucking course. 
Mind whirring so hard he can feel steam, Yoongi quickly recalls where the mics are, “They’re somewhere in the back by the amps, but I gotta take this so I’ll see y’all there.” 
“Wait, where are the—”
Nope. Kook’s just gonna have to figure out whatever he’s asking on his own. Switching calls, Yoongi answers while opening his door, hastily putting out the food and water he grabbed from the kitchen. 
“Hey.” Fuck, is his voice shaking? What the hell is he gonna be faced with in the next few seconds? Can he freeze time and rewind and keep last night on repeat? “I’m about to head out.” 
“Don’t leave yet, I’m coming.” 
“No, just”—Yoongi dashes back inside before grabbing his wallet and keys from the bar—“You good? I can’t be late.” 
“Don’t lie. Y’all are done, right?” 
Don’t lie. Yoongi feels like hurling. 
“We got another project,” he huffs as he meets sunrise again, blazing a trail through his corridor and rounding the corner to his car. “A band’s coming in for a session.”
“Shit.”
There’s a pause on the line. And it’s the first bit of silence Yoongi’s had since he got the first bone-chilling text. Is his secret safe? Are you okay? Should he work extra late and run from a problem yet again? He’s very good at that. Running. If there was a medal for distance ran from issues, he’d be on the podium for both gold and silver.
“Okay, fine.” 
Relief is temporary. This could just be him biding his time in order to figure out what to do. Or maybe he truly doesn’t know what’s going on and Yoongi has a bit more uninterrupted time with you. 
Delusion is a great place to stay.
In any case, his friend’s behavior is alarming. What’s he doing up this early? And why is he wanting to swing by so bad if not to slice him into tiny pieces? Nerves slow on the downslope, Yoongi shuts his car door and lends his ear, “But serious, are you okay?”
“I just… Tch. I can’t even say it.”
He lets his friend go through a series of small sounds on the line, pulling out of the lot and hitting the road with tire squeaks. “What’s up,” he finally pushes, looking sideways and remembering the car ride home. 
There was no way Yoongi was gonna say no to you. He didn’t in this universe, and he’d bet his whole life he doesn’t in any other one, either. Not when your wings looked like you hadn’t used them in months.    
Pained, Yoongi hopes you’re completely fine and sleeping. Tucked away in a bed that captured part of his heart, visiting him in your dreams so that some version of him can be at your side. 
“Everything, Yoong.” 
But, as it so starkly turns out, he has to deal with reality. And with the fact that you’re just as far away as you were before last night. Maybe even further out of reach. 
So, so far away. 
“There’s a ton of shit, but. Fuck. Guess we’ll have to wait.”
Right now, deal with the studio prep and get through the session that will probably take awhile. After that, meet up with your brother and hope to god he doesn’t know. “K.”
“Just lemme know when you get back.”
Then, when all of that is done, Yoongi will be alone. Staring into the night and trying his hardest not to give up on himself again. “Yeah, I will.” 
“No running.”
“K.”
When the call ends, Yoongi lets out the harshest breath he’s ever let out in his life. Hoping you went right to sleep without dealing with any of that. 
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“How did that sound?” 
Looking into the recording room, Yoongi raises a thumbs up as Hoseok clicks back to the beginning of the track. At their side, Namjoon hits a button on the console before speaking into a microphone, “Y’all wanna come hear it?” 
“We can move on. Wanna get the doubling done.” 
Huh? They’re gonna move onto vocal doubling already? With a few blinks, Yoongi think it’d be better if they—
“Okay!” Jungkook agrees from the couch, cutting out any other thoughts. “If any of you need adjustments, let us know.” 
“Yeah, actually, can one of you come switch this out?” 
Joon throws a suggestion over his shoulder, but Yoongi is already heading for the booth before his name is even mentioned. 
Get everything done smooth. Stay disciplined. Be professional, goddamn it.
Entering the soundproofed room will always make him want to occupy the mic instead. That feeling hasn’t gone away, and there have been countless nights where he’s spent time just sitting in this very space, visualizing what it would be like to work on this side of the glass someday. Deep down, Yoongi knows he could be somebody. But imposter syndrome runs deep. 
Avoiding cables strewn about the room, he offers his hands without a word, taking a guitar from the lead singer and making his leave—
“Hey.” He turns. “You’re good.” 
What? Where the hell did that come from? Did he even hear this guy right or was he just daydreaming again? Yoongi’s so thrown he can only stare with question marks for eyes. 
Amused, the singer simply points to the side of his beaming countenance. “You have an ear.” 
Huh. How the hell can this dude tell? All Yoongi’s done is indicate if a recording take was good or not, and given a few minuscule suggestions to the keyboardist and guitarist—instruments he’s well-versed in. 
Yet again, he’s so in his head that the man outright laughs, “Relax! You can talk to us like normal, you know. None of us care about etiquette shit.” 
“Shit, my bad,” Yoongi finally responds, instrument in his hands proving a little lighter. “Thanks.” 
“Of course.” Swishing long bangs to the side, the performer rests a hand on his hip. “We’re open to anything. We’d just tell you if your opinion sucks.” 
Eyes creasing with his lips, Yoongi puffs out a laugh. 
“Kidding. Only a little.”
Even though these people are world-renowned, they’re the first humble group to run through the studio. Everyone else has been either cocky, standoffish, or super opinionated, which made for unproductive hours.
Yoongi likes this change of pace. His shoulders start to feel composed, less scrunched than they had been since you left his place this morning. Comforted, he looks down at the guitar in his fingers.
Choosing not to say what he wants to. 
Should he? Nah. These guys know what they’re doing. Despite the nice offer to speak up, it’s not his place. Far from it. 
…But what would you tell him to do? What would you be proud of?
Committed to his answer, Yoongi grips the neck and decides without another thought, 
“Do the chorus again.” 
The whole studio stills. But all he’s looking at is the man in front of him, shaking his head when they ask, “Same way?” 
“Uhm. No.” As he hands the guitar back, Yoongi wordlessly checks if he can see the sheet music. When given the go-ahead, he scans the lines before pointing out a passage to note, 
“Mm. Here. Vocals are fine as is, but. Ride the build-up quicker and hit the next chord after a bit longer.” When he stops, he has to fight to ignore the eyes on him. There’s no doubt that his extended time in the recording room is being questioned, and his hand movements probably make him look stupid. “It’ll keep in time but hit harder.” 
Done. He said it. 
And the response that follows puts complete silence to shame. 
Instantly self-conscious, Yoongi swears he can hear Hobi’s pants shift in the control room through two closed doors shit he took it too far. Fuck, if these guys walk out now the studio is done for and he’ll be the only reason why—
“Well, goddamn. Let’s try that then.” 
Huh. They’re gonna take that? 
As he steps away, Yoongi feels slightly awkward doused in attention. Yeah, expressions seem like looks of approval, but they could just be polite. 
The man hums the chorus with Yoongi’s notes in mind, and his eyebrows tick a bit before he addresses the others in the room, “You heard him?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Yeah, we can try that.”
“Why didn’t you think of that, Woosung?”
Yoongi can’t keep his amusement under wraps as the singer laughs, addressing his keyboardist with a grin, “Damn, not even Sammy? Straight to Woosung, huh.”
“Sammy would’ve thought of it.”
Another bout of mirth spreads joy around the recording booth, and Yoongi shares a look with the singer before they both nod. 
“Let’s see how it sounds.” 
“K.”
Proud and adrenaline-filled, he turns to walk back to the door, head so buzzed he doesn’t know what to do. But when Yoongi can’t see into the control room anymore, he misses a stare through the glass.
A stare that lingers on him just a little too long. 
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The rest of the session goes smooth, and Yoongi’s relieved that they haven’t asked him for anything else. 
After all. He doesn’t wanna push it, or step on Jungkook’s toes. What happened in the recording room only went down because you would have scolded him for not seizing that moment. And the suggestion he gave was lauded after the next take.
It was the first time since you kissed him goodbye that he felt a healthy pulse in his chest. Despite the chaos of the morning, amid the thoughts and worries penetrating his brain, you reached out and kept him steady in just the right moment. 
Fuck being his good luck charm. You give guardian angels shame and you don’t even know it. 
“Okay, we’ll take ten after this.”
Jungkook holds up an arm while agreeing, “Okay! We’ll save what we got!” 
Yoongi’s scanning the tracks when he feels hovering over his shoulder, and he already knows it’s the kid without looking. “Sup.”
“Nothing.”
“You sure.”
At this, Jungkook pauses before he sighs. “Yeah, it’s nothing,” he clearly lies. 
But Yoongi will let him figure out whether to run with that or not. He seems a little bothered about something, and it very well could be what happened in the booth. This is work, and they’re both adults. If he wants to talk about something, Yoongi will gladly have that conversation. 
Suddenly, a vibration erupts in his hoodie pocket, and his phone is fished out without him even thinking. 
Hustler: Incoming C—
Shit. You wouldn’t call him at work unless it’s urgent. Which is quickly throwing any possible theories about your brother not knowing out the window. 
But fuck, he can’t answer yet. There’s no way. Not only is he in very close range to someone you don’t wanna speak to right now, but he’d get blasted for being on his phone during a session. Hoping you can wait just two more minutes, Yoongi turns the buzzing off within his hoodie pocket, anxiously waiting for the take to start. 
Hoping to everything that Jungkook didn’t happen to see what was on his screen. 
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As soon as everyone looks pleased—three takes and thirty minutes later—Yoongi quickly excuses himself from the control room. His head practically overheats on the way out back, but the gust of morning breeze serves to soothe it some. 
It’s been chilly lately. A bit grey. But whatever the weather has been outside, it’s no match for the atmosphere of his brain. 
Pulling his hood over hair he hasn’t cut in months, Yoongi looks around before ringing you up. Hoping that you’re good and didn’t have to go through a version of his panic earlier. 
Hustler: Outgoing Call 
Straight to voicemail? Shit.
Hustler: Outgoing Call
Fuck, still voicemail. Are you okay? On the phone with someone else? Did your brother actually end up finding out and things are worse than he thought? Clutching his phone, Yoongi glances up while giving it slight shakes, body on alert while deciding what the hell to do now. 
Maybe he can at least text you to ask what the hell happened this morning? Typing. Erasing. Retyping. Retrying. 
Yoongi [9:02]: Got a session today, doll. 
That’s what he had to say? That won’t do you any good, the fuck? Berating himself with a sigh, he takes a few steps while texting a follow-up. 
Yoongi [9:03]: Still going, but are you good?
Staring, it takes him a few seconds to decide if this is enough. If these two messages are gonna suffice to help him figure out what the hell he’s getting into later. 
It’s not. There’s too much he needs to know. 
Hustler: Outgoing Call 
When it doesn’t ring a third time, Yoongi gives up, cursing before turning and raking his hood off in distress.
Only to see Woosung materializing out of nowhere—relaxed, silent, and taking a drag. 
Shit. How much of that did he witness?
“Been there,” the man empathizes, blowing out smoke into crisp morning. After a swell of early traffic fills the alleyway, he continues, “In trouble?”
Great. With a sound of dejection, Yoongi answers to a stack of random boxes, “Might be.” 
“Don’t wanna commit anymore?” 
“I do,” Yoongi blurts without hesitation, looking right into eyes that have seen plenty more than he has. 
And it’s the first time he’s admitted anything out loud. To a stranger miles above him in status, no less. Hands stuffed in his pockets, he clarifies, “It’s just… There’s something I need to do first.” 
Wait a sec. Why the fuck is he talking about this so freely? This isn’t something he does. Privacy is practically his brand. So why is it easy to talk to this guy? It’s him, for fuck’s sake. But what’s done is done. Woosung probably won’t even remember this conversation even happened, or is already annoyed as hell he didn’t get a good read on him. 
To Yoongi’s surprise, his alley companion speaks again after another white wisp. “Mmm… Something you need to do?”
Well. Yoongi walked right into this one. Swallowing and knowing he can’t dip out, he sighs, “Some shit I wanna finish.” The smell of tobacco wafts around him when he looks at dulled skies. “Shit I need to get through.” 
An amused hum floats through empty space. “Been there, too.” 
Yoongi slowly turns to regard his client, watching as Woosung becomes very interested in wet concrete.
What kind of shit has this guy seen? Surely, he could have had some of the same experiences. The slight droop in his confident shoulders tells enough. But would he understand the exact same situation? 
No. At least, Yoongi hopes not. Quite fucking frankly, he hopes no one has had to go through the same shit that he has. 
“Let me know if you ever need help,” Woosung offers, shocking Yoongi to the point of speechlessness. As he drops his cigarette to squash it out, he runs a hand through wild dark locks. “We’ll be around again.” 
Wait. What? Yoongi can only blink. “Serious?”
“Yeah.” The man looks down the outside corridor, watching as people start heading to their jobs through a central courtyard. “Got a good feeling about this place.”
What does he mean by that. What can Woosung possibly mean by that what does he mean they’ll be back? To the studio? To the city? What’s happening. Yoongi simply lets a pause prevail before offering the only response he’s capable of,
“It’s the food next door, huh.”
That laugh has got to be top five in the world. Not as great as yours, but definitely up there in terms of what makes Yoongi feel like things are alright. Not that he’d ever admit that shit to anyone. Ever.
Mercifully, the conversation moves away from risky topics. Instead, there are talks about a tour one is planning for his band’s album, mixed in with mentions of equipment the other is saving up for. Then the rest isn’t about music at all.
Finally, it’s time for them to continue recording, so they know to head back inside. “Don’t wait,” Woosung advises as he turns on his heel. 
And Yoongi can only stare somewhere else. 
“If there’s something you need to get through...” 
Stare, and stare, and stare some more.
“Hit it until it breaks.”
Because he’s already aware. More than anyone.
As Woosung shuts the back door, Yoongi’s gaze finds the crushed cigarette at his side. Another reminder of how things were.
And a reminder that he’s still a fucking coward.
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Hours later, Yoongi’s car awaits him in the lot. 
And when he realizes that you still haven’t responded, he shuts his door just a little too hard. 
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Whenever his friend comes over for drinks, it’s always the same routine. 
Both of them don’t talk much, instead opting for a quiet greeting before someone dumps themselves on the couch while the other grabs a bottle and cups in the kitchen. As soon as glasses are filled, conversation sparks as a game plays out on tv—or a sportscasting show if nothing interesting is airing. 
But this time? None of it happens that way. Because when Yoongi opens his door, he’s pinned with a shadowed visage he's only seen piercing through others. 
And the whole arctic starts to seep into his bloodstream.
Raising a brow and giving space is his chosen course of action. Best to not disturb a beast if they’re already ready to lunge.
And his friend eyes him as he stalks into the house, scanning around in search of something—living room, dining table, even looking into the open doorway of the bedroom. 
Fuck. Relax. Don’t assume anything until things are on the table. Yoongi has got to pretend like tonight is normal and fine and that he’s obviously and positively not seeing and sleeping with his friend’s little sister. 
And that he most definitely didn’t eat you out where your brother is sitting now motherfucker he needs a drink. Or a smoke. Or both with a plane ticket out of the whole country. 
At least the television is already on. If it wasn’t for that ambiance, Yoongi’s head would be jam packed with every goddamn sound known to man. Including the adorable way you talk in your sleep, and how you strain so beautifully when you come fuck, fuck, fuck! Focus. 
What’s happened has happened. And what’s going to happen will happen. Whether it’s a consequence of his actions, or nothing to do with any of this at all. 
But when faced with everything smushing together at once? Yoongi will probably need to be revived no matter what the outcome. This is the most stressed out he’s been in years. 
Not only that, but his stress is more than obvious. Even now in the kitchen, he’s scanning through his bottles with a finger—an action he’s never done while sober since the choices are always predictable. Holy shit, he needs to pull it together. 
Has he ever been this panicked? Does he appear just as chaotic and disjointed as he feels? This is too new. This is very new and if he doesn’t regain control there’s no telling where this foreign road leads.
But the silence still remains as he turns. And apparently the road hits a dead end at his dining table. Since it’s occupied rather than the living room sofa. 
Sighing, Yoongi ambles to his friend, placing everything down with clinks and ignoring the way his furniture is getting burned through. Both whisky’s are ready. Yoongi’s already holding his. And your brother still hasn’t moved a muscle. Honestly, what the fuck is going on with—
“I went to Jimin’s last night.”
…What. 
Don’t react. He’s staring. Don’t fucking react. Take a drink. A sip. Pick up the goddamn glass. Doing so, Yoongi slowly brings the liquid to his lips, not quite following his own instructions as he asks behind a barrier, “How was it.”
His question is met with a laugh that isn’t funny at all. The kind that drags a finger along the chalkboard of your soul. And the next question directed his way pulverizes Yoongi’s denial,
“Care to share what’s been going on?”
He’s sick. Beyond sick. The room is closing in and closing in too fucking fast. Shit shit shit. There’s no way he saw. No fucking way. He parked down the street he deliberately stopped as far away as possible and you saw your brother’s car in your driveway. Did he get there after you left? And didn’t see you while also not hearing from hi—
“Why her, Yoong? Hmm?”
Fuck! 
Yoongi can’t feel the air in his lungs. Because there isn’t any. Just a barren wasteland of shriveled futures and cracks in the foundation of every relationship he’s had in his whole life. The millisecond before a crash and only his wheels spinning and spinning and spinning—
Your brother shoots out of the chair, making the glass in Yoongi’s palm feel infinitely more solid.
“I mean, fuck! After all the shit we’ve been through? You’re gonna go back to her?”
All the—shit, he can’t even—back to? Back to you? What does he mean by back to you? Does he know about the first ti—
Volcanic, the man interrogating paces beside the dining table. Back and forth, back and forth. A pause. Back and forth.
And Yoongi still feels frozen in time. Is this it? Is this when things come crashing down? Glass suspends in midair all around him; an orchestra trembles beneath his feet, waiting for the moment to rip into his rib cage with swift strokes and a flourish as he’s taken down. 
“Can’t fucking believe you.”
When Yoongi finally chooses to speak, what comes out only feels like a horrible attempt more than anything else, “Listen, it’s my fau—”
“What, you just decided to fuck that bitch again? Couldn’t stay away?”
Oh, fuck that. 
Wood scrapes into flooring as Yoongi vacates his chair, hard feet planted as he gets into the face of his best friend, his confidant, his day one. Only to speak so low only them two can hear, “How bout you use your fucking words already and I’ll tell you.”
“Yeah? Is that what you want?” They are only a breath apart. But no one’s going anywhere now. “Need me to spell it out for that fuckass brain of yours—”
“Say it—”
“Stop fucking your ex, dude!”
Yoongi’s back connects with the chair behind him, palms flinging back to brace himself through a jolt of pain. And his eyes go so wide they stretch at the edges.
…Motherfucker, what?
Your brother is not done in the slightest, but Yoongi can only stare as he’s being berated for something that is one-hundred percent news to him, too. 
“Everyone was happy when you finally left. All of us. Only for you to go and, what, get back with her?”
Nothing makes sense. This isn’t about you? Yoongi’s heart can’t even reset to start beating again. Everything is coming as shock after shock and there’s no way he can keep up at this pace.
His ex? Her? Where the fuck did that come from and why the hell does he of all people think that’s actually true?
“If you’re gonna be with her, you can count me out.” 
No. Never again. That would never, ever happen again. “The fuck are you even saying—”
“I’m not fucking joking, Yoong. If you’re seriously back with her then—”
“Look, I don’t know what the fuck you heard, but I’m not.”
“So everything I heard was a lie?”
“Huh?”
“He told me!”
He—who? Who the fuck would say that? And when how what the fuck and why? Yoongi stares, chest heaving with every inhale and exhale. Because he has a choice to make. Either he trudges into this lie and rubs sludge all over his bones, or he denies it like he wants because it’s not fucking true.
What the actual fuck. It’s already bad enough that someone sent this along the rumor mill. And it’s making him sick thinking about all the implications surrounding it. But it’s even worse that his best friend believes it so easily. He’s coming at him so quick without even asking if it’s true. 
The only silver lining—the singular bright spot in this hellhole—is that he can use it as an out. An out to protect you from wrath and further fury from your older sibling because if you were the rumor? He’d be laid flat on his floor next to a broken dining set.
“You gonna say anything or what?” 
Truthfully, Yoongi feels queasy knowing what he’s gonna do. But it’s for you. You, you, you. And for that, Yoongi will do anything. 
Even if it kills him.
“No, I, umm…” 
“No?” 
Just hurry up and fucking do it. 
Resigned, Yoongi lets the memories flood through. Every moment that’s haunted him from a distance charges forward as he surrenders to the pain of his past. “It’s—” Fuck, he can’t even begin to lie, head thundering, thundering, striking his heart in the rain. “I...” 
His friend halts. Tense before his shoulders fall back to normal. “You what.”
What the fuck does Yoongi do? What can he say when his brain is only firing up to beg him to run? Technically, he doesn’t have to say anything. He really doesn’t. But he can deflect. It’s what he’s best at, after all. He’s been doing it to you and he will do it again.
In the most defeated voice he can muster, Yoongi comes up with something that will placate his friend while still prolonging this horrid fib, “You don’t have to worry about that anymore.” 
“You sure?”
It’s true. More true than anything. “It’s over now.” 
A century passes. Then another. Then another. Every piece of furniture waits in silence as the television seeps back into his ears. 
Then his friend sighs, not looking back as he slumps into the same chair that you always occupy. And Yoongi hopes his sigh of conflicted relief isn’t witnessed. 
Following suit, he rubs his lower back before taking his regular seat again, not giving any shits about waiting to drink. 
His ex? 
As his throat warms, Yoongi starts to harden the more memories keep crashing into each other like jagged waves fuck he really hates how she was brought into this he swears as soon as he figures out who said this he is going to—
“Sorry.” Haze shattered, he lifts his gaze. “I’m so fucking stressed and hearing that last night just…”
“It’s done.” Yoongi reaches for the thick bottle, pouring more into his glencairn. Wanting to talk about literally anything else, he diverts the conversation, “But something else is up with you so say it.”
It works. The man inhales deep, rubbing his face with weary hands. When he rests elbows on wood, he finally talks about other things clouding his mind,
“Work is shit,” he groans downward. “They’re having me travel again.” 
“Domestic?”
“Yeah. But for longer. And I don’t…” Tapering off, he sits back, slowly playing with his glass. As if he doesn’t want to mention the next problem. 
When he finally does, Yoongi wholeheartedly understands the hesitation, “I dunno know what’s going on with my sister.”
Oh. Fuck, how the hell does he respond? Keeping his cool, Yoongi just repeats the question, taking out his phone and pretending to check his screen. “Your sister?”
“Yeah.” A sigh is sandwiched between explanations. “The past few months, I feel like.. They haven’t really been themselves.” 
A sudden crack splits him through.
“Not laughing. Not eating as much. Like even when they sound happy, I can tell it’s a front.. I don’t know.” 
The clunk of his phone hits the table very hard. 
No. No, no, no. Your texts have been so positive. So encouraging. Other than a few sad calls, you’ve been happy to hear from him just as he had been relieved to hear from you. Even in the car, you must’ve put your feelings lightly. 
Your wings. You’ve been enduring all that? For him? Yoongi’s heart rears its head, snagging one of his breaths and slamming both lungs into the floor.
And hatred paints his heart another shade darker.
“They finally went out last night, but. Didn’t come back until this morning.” Running rigid hands through his head, the man looks so pained. So helpless. “Same clothes, dude.” 
And Yoongi can only stare, feigning nonchalance but raging and tearing himself apart inside. “Mm.”
“I just… I know I suck at this, but. I don’t know what the hell to do. Or if I even do anything.” Your brother finally takes a swig, wincing at how much ethanol coats his tongue. 
Relax, relax, relax. As much as he wants to erupt on himself right now, Yoongi has to stay calm.
Not like he doesn’t know how. That’s usually how he operates, anyway. It’s hard to tell he’s struggling unless you look deep enough. And almost no one thinks to do so because his surface is all they want. 
But right now? He doesn’t think he can sequester this anger any longer. At him, his past, and his stupid present decisions. 
“Like I tried to say something but I just.. I felt like if I push too hard, they’re gonna shut down even more. Ever since that fight with Kook, it’s like..” 
Seeing an opening and keeping a neutral stance, Yoongi asks the most ironic question to date, “Are they seeing someone?”
At this, his friend shakes his head, eyes glued to dark amber liquid. When he answers, all the breaths in the world cut at once, 
“I think she feels all alone.” 
This hit is the strongest. Straight to the gut, breath stuttering and muscles clenching so hard they lock. It’s almost severe enough to affect how Yoongi feels around his eyes. 
“And it sucks not knowing what to do.”
Yoongi’s heart lurches, deflating and slipping out of the crack in his chest. Piercing on the jagged edges before slumping down onto a table that continues to judge him.  
You’re hurting. Your brother’s hurting. And it’s all his goddamn fault. Why can’t he just break free and admit shit? Why is he still haunted by the phantoms of his past? Why is he still so fucking weak? It’s clear that he hurt you. For months. You’ve been cheering for him that whole time while you’ve been visibly broken and it’s all because of his dumbass decision to—
“I’m heading out again.”
Yoongi raises his eyes. Because he can’t seem to move anything else. “When.”
Your older sibling takes a slower, more measured sip. Looking towards the channel playing in the living room, he answers, “After our game. Dinner Friday, game on Saturday, fly out Sunday.” 
“Mm. We’ll still be here,” Yoongi assures, keeping things as normal and neutral as he can. “Just like last time.”
How ironic. How hypocritical. He hasn’t been there for you in the slightest so how the fuck can he say that with a straight face. 
“Thanks. I know it’s a lot for y’all but..”
Not at all. Yoongi is more determined than ever to make everything up to you. It’s the least he can do after putting you through something he decided on the fly. 
On the run.
“Don’t worry about that,” he vows into his drink. Honestly, if you’ve been having second thoughts about this whole thing, he doesn’t blame you. Absolutely doesn’t blame you if you realize you’re better than this. But Yoongi’s at least gonna apologize in every single way he can. As soon as he possibly can. “We got it.” 
“K.” The man finishes his glass and goes to pour more. “Did I ever mention that she liked you?”
Now what— Coughing on whisky is a bitch and a half. Hitting his chest while both eyes squint from burn, Yoongi croaks out his exact thoughts, “What.”
At this, his friend finally breaks into his regular smile. Setting the bottle down with a hollow clunk, he points, “Don’t you fucking get any ideas. Jimin’s already on my shit list.” He scoffs out a laugh. “But it was obvious when we were younger.”
And Yoongi can only cough some more. He shakes his head through the sting, swallowing and trying to compose himself. He doesn’t know where the hell that came from, but he hopes your brother will understand when all is said and done. Even though he’s been the reason you’ve been so…
Yoongi almost fucking confesses.
“You’re a good person,” he blurts instead. Whether the guilt or last cough pushed it out, that’s still on the table. “You don’t suck at what you think you do.”
“You think so?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” 
The hell? Does this dude really not see how successful he is? How much he’s overcome and conquered and sacrificed? Truthfully, Yoongi wouldn’t be where he is today if not for your brother. Him. Jimin. You. Anybody. Which is what makes this ongoing betrayal… 
Unprecedented.  
“You’re the best out of all of us.” 
Your brother finally looks at him, though Yoongi isn’t doing the same. But he can still tell when a fist is held out for him to bump, so he does.
And they both share a drink in respectful silence. 
After a moment of them watching the tv, the man finally sighs. “Guess we did shape up pretty nice.” When he’s agreed with, he keeps going with a grin. “We were so fucking bad.”
Yoongi can only chuckle, much better memories fighting off the terrors. “Old me was a little shit.”
“You still are.”
“Says you!”
“I still am, too!”
Laughs precede big swigs of whisky and comfortable quiet. Bit by bit, shoulders start to relax with the surrounding air, and Yoongi lazily releases tension in his neck. 
After a few more pours, your brother decides to call it, using the bathroom before announcing that he’s gonna head out. Yoongi gets up from his chair to clasp hands goodbye, not expecting to hear one more plea,
“Break up with her, Yoong.” 
Shit. He sighs, and their conversation continues from the dining table to the front door. “It’s not like that.” 
“Yeah?” 
“It’s over now.” 
“For good?” As they stop beside the coat closet, your brother pins him with a look. “I was about to drive over and break down the door.”
Even though Yoongi shares a tsk with him, he can’t help but imagine what could’ve happened if that was the case. And it sends an unwanted jolt of chills. 
“Serious. I’m gonna keep saying this, but. she was just making you miserable, dude.” He slips on his shoes, smacking his foot on the ground to push one in place. “I’m sure it was good at first, but I mean… You gotta move on. You deserve better than that.” 
Anything would be better than that. Yoongi just disagrees with the whole deserving part. “I guess.” 
“You sure it’s over?”
“Yeah,” he assures, because that is something he intends to keep true forever. “It is.” 
“Good.” Keys jingling, your sibling then points into the open area with his whole arm, seven words leaving his mouth like ice, 
“Then get rid of that fucking guitar.” 
Ah. Among all the things. Of course he would bring that up, too. Jaw working, Yoongi looks away, now assaulted by all the torturous thoughts surrounding that painful reminder and fighting them off with no success. 
Get rid of it? He’s been trying. 
For three. Fucking. Months. 
“I might.” 
“…K.” 
And his best friend departs, leaving Yoongi inside and staring at the same black spot he’s kept in the corner for years. It has mocked him as he struggles. Laughed at him whenever he’s tried to throw it out. And aside from the times he’s made you feel better stinging himself on those strings, he has accomplished nothing except letting it win.
Pissed off and doused in guilt, Yoongi yanks himself away from the door, the instrument, and everything else except for his bed.
Keeping his shadow exactly where it stands. 
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Yoongi knows he needs to talk to you.
But his phone exists somewhere on the other side of his bedroom door.
And he doesn’t have the strength to go get it. 
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What time is it? 
All that greets him is darkness. 
Nothing new, but darkness all the same. 
Why was she mentioned? What does that mean? 
He needs to call you. He’s lying to his best friend. 
Her? You. His sheets still smell like you. 
Inhale. Breathe. Inhale. 
He needs to call you. But he’s so, so tired. 
And the darkness pulls him back under. 
Without even telling him the time. 
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Buzzing. 
Faint, gentle buzzing softly lifts Yoongi’s eyelids before a loud series of smacks causes him to rush out of bed what the fuck? 
Oh. His phone fell outside. Fucking hell, his heart’s beating way too quick for that to be the only thing that happened. 
Head in his hands, Yoongi sighs deep before making his way to the dining table. And it takes all of his strength to bend down to reach for his phone. 
Hustler: Missed Calls (6)
Dumbass: 1 Message
Hustler: 3 Messages 
Chim: 7 Messages   
Chim: Missed Calls (3) 
Holy fuck. 
With only the light of his phone illuminating the dark, Yoongi rings Jimin up. His heart’s a little disappointed it wasn’t you calling just now, but it’s probably best to stay away while his brain is so scattered and torn. 
“Oh, fuck. There you are.” 
“Mm.” 
“Don’t scare me like that, bro. I was starting to get ready to drive over—” 
“It’s fine,” he juts in. “What’s up.” 
Alright, maybe he shouldn’t be an asshole. There’s no reason to let his lingering shadow from earlier control his temper now. Jimin’s just being himself, for fuck’s sake. 
“I, umm. I wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” 
Now that’s not what Yoongi expected at all. “For what?” 
There’s another pause on the line, and his reaction is immediate when he knows for a fact Jimin is fighting back tears. 
“I… I got so drunk last night, I—And I—”
Shit. A sinking feeling starts to weigh Yoongi down, his center pulling the rest of him in like a black hole. And he doesn’t need to hear the rest of this to know what this call is about. 
“He was looking for her, Yoong, and you weren’t there, either. He had this look, I—I couldn’t think of anything else to say in the moment and I told him—”
Jimin can’t even finish his confession. And it hits right in the gut. 
Despite his perceived persona, Yoongi doesn’t like hearing people cry. At least, if they don’t deserve to or don’t deserve to be sad—or if they’re you. He could care less about the rest.
But Jimin is one of the only people that can get him like this: eyes stinging at their edges and his chest concave. In the dark, though, no one can tell. No one can see him.
So he can openly swipe at his eyes before dumping tired limbs into a chair, catching his forehead in a damp palm. 
“I’m an idiot. I’m sorry.” 
Exhaling through his nose, Yoongi tries his best to calm his emotions. Because they are still raging and it’s going to take all of him to quell this tempest. 
Jimin knows more than anyone what this means to him. To you. The time you spent apart? If it wasn’t for his friend, Yoongi may have been in a much different position. If this was the only thing Park could do, then his effort has to be acknowledged. It worked like a fucking charm.
But goddamn, Yoongi wishes Jimin thought of literally anything else. He could’ve made up some random, some fling from another city, the damn studio itself. 
“Don’t worry about it,” he finally rasps out. “It’s just been a fuckin’ day.” 
Jimin sniffles before cursing at himself and, judging by the sounds on the line, Yoongi figures he’s opening his fridge. If he reaches for soju, that would not be surprising in the least, and now that sounds like a good idea.
“Same. Gah, I just… I should’ve warned you. I didn’t know he went over there.” 
“He told you?” 
“I called him after you didn’t answer earlier.” 
“Oh. Yeah, I passed out after he left.” 
“Ah.” 
Something shuts before there’s a crisp clink on the line, validating exactly what Yoongi was thinking. 
“I really am sorry. What did you end up saying?” 
“That it’s done.” 
A hum. 
“That’s very true.” 
There’s a question that Yoongi thinks to ask. Context that he needs. But as important as this information is, Yoongi doesn’t feel like talking about it right now. Or ever. But now still counts. So he switches the conversation over to something less daunting, “Practice still on tomorrow?” 
When Jimin laughs out of surprise, it gives Yoongi the smallest kick of energy.
“Ah, someone actually ready to go for once?” 
“Yeah. The plan is to make this game quick.” 
A hearty swallow spills out of the speaker before a hum follows, 
“Mm, that reminds me. Got something that might help with that.” 
What the hell does that even mean? “Huh?” 
“I’ll bring it over tomorrow. You might find some good uses for it.”
Yoongi rubs the grogginess still clinging to his face. “All these years and you’ve never given me a straight answer.” 
“Where’s the fun in that?” 
“Knowing the answer.” 
At least Jimin’s back in a good mood. Or a better state than puffy-eyed and regretful. He doesn’t have to share the pain in this, too. It was an honest mistake. 
“You’ll know it when you see it.” 
“Annoying.”
“Love you, too!” 
Yoongi’s huff billows through his nose, and Jimin’s energy almost brings enough strength for him to clear the table. 
Ehh. He’ll leave it alone. He’s been pretty good at that lately, too, no matter how early or late it is in the night. What time even is it? Checking his phone, Yoongi’s brows crease when he figures that out. Why the hell are they even on a call right now? “Wait, is it really three?” 
“Huh? Yeah. I’m telling you, dude, I was getting worried.” 
He was really about to drive over? “Sorry. I really did just pass out.” 
“Mm. Well, I’m gonna go do that now.” 
“K. Same time tomorrow?” 
“Ah, a little earlier. Just so I can give this to you before everyone else shows.” 
That just makes Yoongi infinitely more curious. “Seriously, what did you get?” 
“Relax! You will like it.” 
“Chim, I swear—”
“You’ll thank me later bye!”
As soon as Jimin disappears from the line, Yoongi is left alone again.
Exactly where he always ends up. 
Exactly where he doesn’t want to be. 
But now that he’s done dealing with those notifications, Yoongi roams lidded eyes over his screen again. 
Wait. You called him six times? Fuck. What did you text? Were you wondering where he was, too? 
Hustler [20:01]: HOLY FUCK!! my phone died after i tried calling you this morning and i just fully woke up to charge it😭 he’s not home so call whenever  
Yoongi clutches his phone a little tighter. 
He very much would’ve rather been in your bed with you all day. 
That sounds like fucking bliss. 
Hustler [23:37]: tried calling but he’s home now. are you ok?? idk what’s going on with him but i think we need to be careful
Shit, Yoongi didn’t get to tell you. You’ve probably been worried about that every second you’ve been awake today. 
And he couldn’t even make it out of his goddamn room to help. 
All he comes with is worries for you. What kind of shit is this? What is he even doing? He even outright told you that you were dating only for that to be ripped from your hands for months. Why are you still giving someone like him a chance? 
Hustler [23:40]: but all i wanna do is see you
Fucking hell.
Nothing in the world can stop his heartbeat quite like you can. With that smile, or those eyes, or the simple shit like this. Not even lightning can strike him the same way. 
Despite the consistency Yoongi has with admitting his own shortcomings, and despite the way he keeps reminding himself he doesn’t deserve you…
All he wants to do is see you, too. 
You’ve been more than he ever would’ve imagined—your consideration, your intellect, your mind. And there have been times when you’d look at him as if he was the center of your galaxy. 
After all this time. All these days and nights. 
You still don’t realize that he was destined to orbit you.  
It’s been decided long before his mind was made up—at least, the part of him that doesn’t traverse the dark side. His heart had been tugging him to you ever since that rainy day, no matter where he’s drifted or which direction he’s gone in. All of them lead back into your arms. 
But just like the feeling he gets walking into the recording booth, imposter syndrome eats him alive and doubt scavenges on what’s left. 
He will never be good enough for you. One of these days, you will realize that you don’t have to settle for him. It’s good now, but you’ll only give him so many chances, which he is swiftly running through at breakneck speeds. 
How fucking stupid. Having these thoughts while wanting nothing more than to hear your voice. 
Just like everyone else, you’ll eventually be done passing through. His winter will return after your inevitable departure, all the warmth you give focused on something else that deserves it more. 
Something that isn’t broken. 
Yoongi whips his head up at the sound of buzzing, noticing thin lines of light beneath his phone on the table. 
What. No way. 
From the rapid beats inside his chest, he shoots his hopes right into the dark. 
And they burst into beautiful sparks when he reads his screen. 
Hustler: Incoming Call 
But just like the streaks of color he witnessed with you on that balcony, his brightness is short lived. Because as soon as Yoongi answers, the way your throat constricts scorches his windpipe through.
And the first thing you attempt to get through makes his eyes shut tight. 
“Are we… is this over?” 
Fuck.
“I get it, if we are. If you—if you don’t wanna do this with me anymore.” 
Fuck. Fuck everything this is not happening right now. “Hold up,” Yoongi breathes, body on full alert. “What’s going on?” 
“I thought… When you weren’t picking up, I—”
“Breathe, babe,” Yoongi softens, hating, hating, hating himself all over again. “I passed out before you called. That’s it.” 
“Oh. Shit, I really thought—”
“You would know,” he whooshes, syllables squeezed out by the mountain of regret on his back. After hearing what he put you through? Hearing how you sound now? There’s no way he can do that shit again. No more disappearing from the grid because he can’t fight himself. “You would know if I was done.” 
Your sniffle sinks the ship with his heart inside. 
“Are you? With me?” 
Yoongi folds, fingers digging through his hair and blocking it in hard chunks. The amount of things he wants to say to you could wrap the whole world before repeating. But he settles with a truth he can say out loud, 
“No way in hell, doll.” 
Please. Don’t cry. Because he can only handle feeling his eyes sting so much in one night. There’s only so much he can take before he’s grabbing his keys and speeding over—friends and brothers be damned. 
“Okay… I’m just. It’s been a day.” 
That’s okay. 
Because he’s had a day, too. 
“I don’t wanna bother you with it, though, it’s so late.” 
Please keep going. 
Please don’t leave him alone. 
“Talk to me.” 
Like a gentle stream, your recap—though not ideal—washes away the weariness from Yoongi’s eyes. Lifts the weight he bears on his shoulders, even if just a little bit. 
You’re so good at that. 
“Well. Umm. He saw me coming home this morning. And, umm. It was weird. I don’t know why but I think we have to be really careful. And ugh, it—. It sucks because he’s going on a trip soon and I don’t wanna stress him out even more but I—” 
Shit, you’ve probably been holding all of this in ever since you got up. You don’t know that your brother believes something entirely different. But of course you’d be considerate, even now. That’s just who you are.
“I, umm. I feel so fucking bad about it but I don’t wanna mess him up right now. Or maybe he knows but just won’t say it? Fuck, sorry, I’m trying not—to—”  
The phone goes mute, and Yoongi’s head suddenly weighs ten times heavier. 
“He doesn’t know, babe,” he soothes, hating how he can’t be there to comfort you with more than his word and waves in the sky. 
If he was stronger, things could be different by now. Vastly different. Vastly better. You would cry less, he knows that for damn sure. Weak, weak, weak. That’s all he fucking is. 
The only one he seems to be strong for is you. “He came over earlier.” 
“Fuck, really?” 
“Yeah.” 
You pause, seemingly to roll this information around that beautiful mouth of yours, and Yoongi has the strongest yearning to kiss all your worries right out of it. 
“What did he say?” 
Shit. You’ll just have to forgive him later. Because Yoongi chooses not to tell the whole truth. You don’t need to bear the same worries as him, anyway. They aren’t yours. He will shoulder all of those on his own. Because he’s the reason for them in the first place. “Nothing about us.” 
“Oh, thank fuck.” 
Good. Your relief is all that matters. But Yoongi still feels bad for not being able to pick himself up. You could’ve known that a lot sooner if he was stronger. If he was better. “So don’t worry, doll.” 
“Okay. What about you? Are you okay?” 
Huh? Your questions catch him completely off-guard. It’s almost comical how his first reaction goes straight to a No. But sticking to his earlier stances, he won’t bother you with any of that. There is a truth that he can admit. One that’s always true and will continue to be so. “Just wanna see you.” 
And this is when his eyes slowly shut. Don’t. Don’t cry.
“Me, too, baby.” 
Hearing that? Chipped and broken from your lips? That is another thing Yoongi can’t handle. His heart beats once before it free falls, and he clutches his phone just a little tighter. 
Fuck everything. He’s gonna find a way to do this. All of it.
“I’ll figure it out.”
“You will?”
He’ll figure out how to move mountains to make it up to both you and your brother. 
“Just a little longer.”
He has to.
“Okay.”
Neither of you deserve this. And he doesn’t deserve either of you. Truly, the only thing he deserves is to be alone. And judging by the way things are going, it’s only a matter of time before you start resenting this behavior and leave, too. 
“Thank you.”
What? Something in Yoongi flickers, and he lifts his whole head to eye his screen. 
“For putting up with me.”
Oh. Of course you’d assume you’re the issue. Seems like you need the same type of assurance that he does. Both of you the same? Who would’ve thought his bruised soul would sync up with a perfect one like yours. 
At this, he holds his breath before chuckling soft. “This has been the highlight of my day, doll,” he admits, finally breaking into a tiny smile and sitting back.
“Really?”
Wait. There was another good part of his day. But he wants to save that for when he can tell you in person. “One of them. But you’ll hear about the other one later.”
“Boo.”
Cute. Wait, isn’t it absurdly late? You have to be up for work in mere hours. It’s a miracle you reached out when you did. “Don’t you have to be up soon?”
“A ha… Yeah.” 
“What are you still talking to me for?” 
“I miss you.” 
Well. That’s not something that he expected. And your admittance being so immediate actually sends shivers down his arms. 
Yoongi can only laugh to himself. He knew he had it bad, but this feeling is something else. “Don’t do that.” 
“Don’t do what? Miss you? Yeah, right.”  
God. You’re getting too fucking good at this. He’s gotta fight back or else his throne will be taken before he even sees you again. “Just a bad night to say it, doll.” 
“Why?” 
Perfect. “Cus I’m willing to get in the car.” 
“Fuck.” 
Yoongi happily lets his mouth slant when you groan, chuckling into the receiver and getting up to clear the table. When he flicks on the kitchen light, he doubles down, “Wanna try again?” 
He knows you’re gonna say no. Even though your brother doesn’t know, it’s definitely not a proper time to sneak you out—as much as he fucking wants to. Fuck, to be the one sneaking you out of your house… Maybe there’s another version of you both out there that’s done it. A version of him watching a version of you creeping out to his car, face shining in nightfall and etching a permanent smile into his heart.
“I hate you.” 
Yoongi should’ve expected that. The sudden laugh that flings out into his liquor cabinet ricochets off multiple bottles, and he shuts it while sporting a wide grin. “That’s better.” 
“Ha ha.” 
You’re smiling, too. Cute ass. Just the fact that he knows makes him excited for the future, and he’s determined to make it count. Make it worth it. You deserve every goddamn apology he can give. “I miss you, too, babe,” he whispers, grabbing the glasses from the table to wash in his sink. 
“Nu uh! You hate me, too.” 
Wait. Did you…
Did you just pout? 
Hell no, that’s outright cheating. That’s when Yoongi will never be able to win. Putting the phone down, he promptly states his new plan into a basin, “Nah, I’m going to sleep.” 
“Wait, huh? Why!” 
“Nothing.” 
“I swear to god—” 
“Nothing at all,” Yoongi lies, voice straight as he can muster while hot water runs over his hands. It’s a good kind of sting as his chilled skin adjusts, and he cleans one glass before he hears you ask in his ear, 
“Getting ready for bed? Or are you in the kitchen?” 
The smallest smile graces his face. “Guess.” 
“Kitchen.” 
The hell? “How’d you know?” 
“You’re always in there.” 
Can’t deny that. The glasses are both set to dry in the dishwasher as Yoongi’s amusement dies down, and his next comment flows out before he can think much of it, “You like to keep me in here.” 
“It does seem to be where we end up, huh?” 
“It does.” Which is fine by him. He’ll never forget all the times you’ve been in here. Your laughter and your storms, he will remember them all. 
“The world said let them cook.” 
Your giggles will be the fucking end of him one day. Fuck, he can’t wait to see you. He may even find a way to see you before the game. 
But for now, Yoongi will figure out how to talk to you, every day, no matter what. Texts, calls, whatever the fuck. The effort has got to show from now on. No more of this dark headspace shit. He needs to try harder and figure it out faster. For you. 
“Go to sleep, doll,” he huffs with full cheeks. 
After another adorable batch of sounds, you rustle on the line before sighing, 
“You better sleep, too.”
“I will.” 
With a blink, Yoongi notices two things. One, he just cleared his table and cleaned up without even thinking. And two, despite feeling like absolute shit the entire day and dreading the coming of night, falling asleep won’t be an issue. 
Because of you. It’s always you. 
Maybe there’s a way out. Maybe he can finally face it all and come out on the other side. “Talk to you tomorrow, babe.”
“I’d like that. And you’re sure he doesn’t know?”
Just like that, the demons are knocking again. Closing his eyes, Yoongi murmurs into the receiver, “I’m sure.” 
There will come a time when he will tell you. But that will be way in the future, when he is ready. For now, you’ll just have to trust that he’s telling the truth. Not the whole truth, but enough for it to calm your nerves. 
“Okay. Good night, baby.”
One more heartbeat to get him through the night. 
“Night, doll.”
When the phone cuts, Yoongi’s hand falls, his stare shifting straight to the living room. 
Right towards the corner that stares back. 
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It’s been five days.
But it feels like you’ve aged twenty-eight years.
Ever since your brother confronted you—after your much needed reunion with his best friend—you’ve been floating through time. Lost. Confused. Wondering why that conversation went the way it did and gnawing at your sanity bit by bit. 
And even though Yoongi explicitly told you he didn’t say anything concerning your relationship, you still haven’t shaken that feeling. No matter where you are, who you’re with, or on a pretty Friday like this one, you feel… Strange. 
When you saw your brother waiting, you for sure thought you were gonna get grilled. It was a given you were gonna break as soon as he started asking deeper and more specific questions. The fallout was gonna happen in your own house right at your door. 
…So what in the fuck was that?
You shift your legs, the chill of the office failing to comfort you in your manufactured, building distress. 
Somehow, that version of the conversation proved much, much worse. Because now you’re spiraling trying to figure out why he just took your lie as the truth. Truthfully, you feel nauseous. And as much as you need to get some semblance of closure, you still feel hesitant. Because if he’s just biding time? He’s not just thinking about what to do with you. 
He’s thinking about what to do with Yoongi, too. 
This is so hard. 
The only thing—the only thing—keeping you grounded. Is Yoongi himself. 
Ever since the call you never thought he’d answer, you’ve been contacted every night. What was once days of radio silence quickly shifted to him reaching out however he could, hours of the day be damned. Just last night, in fact, Yoongi sent you texts at four in the morning, and you beam just thinking about what he said so casually.  
Yoongi [3:57am]: That keyboard I told you about is fucking dope. Just got it today and it won’t let me sleep lmaooo
Yoongi [3:58am]: I was gonna say sorry for texting but fuck it you’re getting all the updates :) 
No matter what it is, be it a text, call, or video chat, Yoongi seems fully committed and in the moment. Present. And it’s been… Really nice. If you didn’t have your brother’s shadow hovering over your brain, life would be practically perfect. 
Forcing yourself to actually work, you manage to get some small things done. Even the meeting you attend goes smoothly and you leave any outside worries on the other side of those glass walls.
So when you get back to your desk, an awaiting paper bag makes you pause. And your whole body prepares to weep.
Only one person has ever sent you food while you’re at work. And staring inside the parcel, you would’ve been able to tell who it was from even if said person had never sent any before.
There’s a small note on top of a to-go container—one that you immediately recognize as that super good restaurant next to Jungkook’s studio. 
What the hell? How did Yoongi know you wanted some this whole week but didn’t wanna risk being so close? With careful fingers, you pluck the tiny paper from the bag, opening it with care before your eyes get so teary eyed you can’t even read.
Tonight.  
This man.
I got the next one.
This wonderful, charming man. 
But you’re getting what I need so here’s the list:
Goddamn it, Min Yoongi. 
Seeing an actual list of food squeezes a laugh through your throat in a squeak, tears rushing out of your ducts before they’re hastily swiped. 
After five days. Yoongi really just sent you on a grocery run to surprise you with another meetup.
The gesture is so him that you cannot help but shake your head, ruefully huffing to no one and pocketing the note in your bag. And all your worries scatter even further. 
A dinner before the big game is risky, for sure, but at this point you couldn’t care less. Your brother has his own work outing tonight, anyway, and you are dead set on breaking all of this to him soon.
Even though you are very much unprepared. And he is going to lose his fucking mind if he doesn’t know already. Fuck.
You’ve had all five days to think it over. All the possible combinations and possibilities and outcomes. Some of them are extreme, some of them are hopeful. But for a majority of these projections, you have a feeling that none of you are gonna leave it without wounds. 
And you don’t know how you’re gonna save both of them if theirs are cut too deep. 
Regardless, that’s in the future. Not now. Right now, you are staying in the present and working like molasses until you can jet out the door, nary a care nor concern weighing on your heels.
Tonight. He’s gonna cook for you?
You’ll have the first substantial meal you’ve had in months.
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Even though you want nothing more than to see Yoongi, your nerves are still buzzing and bumping into each other nonstop. There’s a lot you still need to know. Like why he was radio silent for months, and why your brother has been a little weird this whole week. 
Save it for later. Hopefully Yoongi will tell you why eventually. Or that gap will stay elusive to your brain forever.
Sliding into your car, you dump your bag in the passenger seat before pulling out the list, clutching it close and taking a leap that could either calm your nerves or spike them. 
Yoongi: Outgoing Call 
When he picks up, you legitimately don’t answer. Because even after all this time, you still can’t quite function when you hear that deep voice addressing you directly. 
“Hey.” 
All you have to do is say something. Anything. You could rattle off the damn list, stumbling over all the syllables just like they’re currently smushed together in your fingers. 
But you don’t snap out of this trance until he speaks again. 
“Hello?” 
“Hi,” you squeak out, clearing your throat while watching other people walk to their cars. “Hi, sorry. I just umm.” 
You just what? Somehow lost all sense of language just from him saying hi? Get it together. Stop that racket in your stomach and say what you were gonna say. “Thank you for the food. I’m off work now so I’m heading to the store.” 
He simply huffs a quiet laugh.
“Get whatever you want, too. Just let me know how much it is.” 
Huh. Did Yoongi just say all those words in that order? If you heard him right, forget the damn food. You’re close to speeding directly to his place and breaking down the motherfucking door. “Oh, I definitely will,” you respond with instead of hauling ass, the words pushing through your lingering smile. “And don’t worry about that, I got it.” 
“You sure?” 
“Yeah! I got big girl money now.” 
Yoongi laughs again on the line, fuller and closer this time. Are you on speaker? 
“It’s like that? Maybe I should work there, too.” 
“Oh, you’d hate it,” you giggle, scheming hard in your head for tonight already. Pretty bubbles in your ribs lift all your spirits. “I’m actually pretty bossy here.”
The groan that seeps through your car should be illegal. 
“That is literally what I’ve been wanting to see.” 
It’s your turn to chuckle as you finally make your way out of the parking lot, heading right to the market that you know for a fact has all of what he’s asking for. “I’m only that way at work, though.” 
“Do better.” 
Your immediate response makes his laugh crunchy in the speakers, and you go along with him because life is good. Life is fucking great right now. “Never mind, you’re paying. And I’m getting stuff for dessert now, too.” 
“What? Who said anything about dessert?” 
“Me,” you huff out in pride. Since he wants to see that demanding side come out so bad. With a fleeting thought, you think about what it could be like if you end up confident enough to— 
“I’m starting to regret this.”
“Regret what?”
“Everything.”
Liar! Your cheeks hurt as you look both ways before making a turn. “Can’t fool me. You’re excited.”
“I am.”
The way there was no hesitation sends shivers up your spine. But it’s partly because you thought you’d be faced with another joke or dig. Not a sudden one-eighty. Stopping at a light, you clear your throat before shyness puffs right out of it. “Well, good,” you state while checking your mirrors. “Cus I am, too.” 
“That’s a given, though.”
“Excuse you.”
Yoongi laughs before you hear the sound of cabinets, and you wonder which ones he could be touching. 
“Mm, babe. One more thing.” 
Can he stop making your heart beat two times at once? “Hmm?”
There’s a little bit of pause, followed by the clank of a pan on metal. When you hear another hum, you wonder what he could possibly—
“I think we’re out of condoms.” 
Who is out of what. If you weren’t still at a red, your foot would’ve slammed on the gas because what the fuck! All you can manage out are sounds without substance, random syllables, gibberish. Nothing is computing in your head. 
“Wait. Or are we?”
Okay, Yoongi needs to stop with that two-letter word before your behavior turns downright criminal. With as much seriousness as you can manage, you accuse, “Are you just fucking with me?”
And his response launches you forward just as the light turns green, 
“Yeah. That’s why we’re out of—”
“Alright!” you cut in, stopping stopping stopping him because for whatever reason, this conversation is too much. Despite seeing this very man naked in many, many ways, just having this talk with him is making you shier than ever before. “Guess I’ll, umm. Get those, too.”
“Nah, you don’t have to.”
“Oh. Found some?”
“No.”
Wait. If he didn’t find some why is he telling you that you don’t have to— “Oh,” you peep in realization. A very sudden, jaw dropping realization. “Goddamn it, you’re too distracting now, bye.”
And he finally breaks with laughter that’s contagious as hell. Which isn’t fair when you’re pretending to be upset with him. Even when you can’t see Yoongi, you can imagine the way his cheeks rise and his eyes crease. The way the whole room illuminates when he’s packed with happiness. 
And you want that to be the case forever. 
“You’re just lucky I’m not there with you.” 
“Yeah, you’d be annoying as hell.” 
“Damn!” 
As the market comes into view, your teeth shine as you grin, roasting this man quickly becoming one of your favorite pastimes. 
“To be fair,” you start to amend, fingers drumming on the wheel as you decide whether or not to say what you want. After deciding that there’s no wrong answer here, you softly admit, “I really do wanna get groceries with you.” 
There’s no words that come out in response. Only the slight movements of shuffling and water running and what could be more cabinets closing. But you don’t really know for sure—
“It’s gonna happen, doll.” 
You clutch the wheel.
“Cus I want that, too.”
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One of these days you’re gonna see this damn cat again. 
Foot connecting with Yoongi’s door, you grunt as multiple bags burden your limbs, pride digging divots along your arms—second trips be damned. 
It doesn’t take long for him to let you in anyway, and you swoon at the way he doesn’t even ask while taking some of your baggage. But the kiss on your cheek makes your heart bang into everything between the front door and the kitchen. It’s so distracting that you barely smell the spices greeting you, too. 
“Thanks for getting all this,” Yoongi says as you both cross onto tile.  
“Of course.” Lifting the much lighter load that you have, you revel in the small thumps and thuds on his counter. Not really knowing why. “Let’s put this up before I yell at you.”
His laugh comes out in hisses while you both start reaching into bags. “For what!” 
“Sent me everywhere to find some of this shit.” 
“You could’ve asked somebody.” 
Feeling a bit silly and high off his presence already, you repeat his words in a goofy mocking tone, and the way he blows out air sends your belly fluttering. 
And just like that, things are back to normal again. No worries about your sibling, or work, or anything else looming by the door. Inside is what matters, and the whole apartment fills with jabs and jokes as groceries find their homes.
But Yoongi finds a bag you had separated from the rest, and you snap your mouth shut when he looks inside, something rising in your core when he turns to you with an eyebrow raised. And a smirk so salacious it makes you quiver. 
“What about it,” you squeak out, crumbling when he simply takes the bag and flings it through his bedroom door. “You said you—we were out, so…” 
“That’s a big box, doll,” he points out on his way to your tightly bitten lip. Mouth slicing through your sanity, he approaches you with a glint in his eyes. “Got something you wanna say?” 
“Nope,” you whoosh out oh god he looks way too hot in those sweats wait is that a growing bulge? “Although I will say it took me forever to pick out what—”
Sparks ignite your hands when your lips are claimed, launching them into his shirt and tugging him backward because you’ve been waiting way too long to kiss the shit out of him. 
And Yoongi responds in kind, pinning you to his fridge and so, very obvious that he’s been waiting for this, too. 
Heaven probably wonders how to replicate this feeling. How to imitate this treasured yearning that only he can pull from the depths of your ocean. Deep, deeper, deepest. All these kisses. Your ascending affection. 
“As much as I wanna throw you on my bed,” Yoongi jokes, pulling away and giving your cheek a light tap. “I’m taking you somewhere.” 
And you’re so thrown from the impact that your brain mini-resets. “Huh? We’re leaving?”
“Uh huh.”
Hold on. Wait. Is this what he meant when he said he’s getting the next one? You’re going out to eat? Together? No. No, there’s no way. Yoongi knows that’s the worst possible thing to do right now, as much as the idea is sending your belly in a frenzy. “Are you sure? What about dinner? Won’t people… You know.”
“It’s ready already,” he reveals. “By the door.” 
Your head snaps to where he points out, even though you can’t see through the bar. “Really?” No wonder it smells like a cooking aftermath. All those smells twirling around your head. How did you not even catch the dishes in the sink? 
But hold up, you just bought a shit ton of food! “Then what the hell was the run for?”
Yoongi blinks. Then he does it again. Expression stone still, he responds as if you were privy to his plans this entire time, “I told you to get what I needed.” 
Your turn to blink.
“And I needed food.”
This man is going to be the death of you. Affronted, your jaw hangs before you grit through a smile that betrays you, “Oh, you—” 
“So thanks,” he quips through another tilt of his lips. “Let’s go, doll.” 
The begrudged sound that leaves you makes him kick his head back on the way out the kitchen. 
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“Eat.”
The container on your thighs warms you through. “Now?”
“Mm.”
“I can wait,” you assure, watching as night paints the surrounding scenery in navy and black. “We can eat together.” 
“Just a bite then.” 
Turning to Yoongi, you don’t see a change in his face as he eyes the road. The veins in his arm catch all the streetlight, and you gulp before your gaze falls to what he made. Music fills the car, and you decide that maybe you do feel a little hungry. So you listen to instruction, popping it open and being careful as you pluck a piece to try. 
There’s no denying it. This motherfucker is a chef. “Fuck, this is good.” 
Your borderline moan sends Yoongi’s shoulders bobbing, and you will never get over those low, gravelly laughs. “Sorry.” Your hand hovers over your mouth in embarrassment. “I don’t react like that unless I’m alone.”
“I don’t mind.”
“Yeah, well,” you swallow. “Course you don’t.”
A tiny peek of teeth show as Yoongi smiles, and you don’t expect what he offers next, “Just be you, doll. It’s just me.”
The next bite of food pauses on the way to your mouth. “Oh,” you murmur. “Same for you then.”
“Nah.”
“Why not?”
“Cus we wouldn’t make it to where we’re going.”
That was legitimately the worst time to put food in your mouth. Sputtering, your words come out low and chortled, “You fucker.”
His hisses are brief before he dips into silence again. As he slowly turns the wheel, you can see a glimpse of something deep in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he suddenly apologizes, swallowing as you keep your gaze. 
What is that look? Weren’t you both just having a good time? “For what, baby?” 
“Everything.” 
Your lungs flinch. This is definitely not what you expected to hear on the way to wherever the hell you’re going. “Oh.” 
Yoongi still doesn’t look your way, and with each pass of a light over his face, you catch quick snapshots of those eyes you’re still so shy of. “I, umm. I didn’t expect shit to pan out this way.” 
“It’s okay,” you whisper. 
After a slow motion of disagreement, his head falls forward just a bit. And your eyes find his hand clutching the gear shift in what you sadly think is frustration. “I’ve just thought about some things,” he starts, another song playing. “How worried you must’ve been.” 
You look forward. Because this is the part where you can’t face him. “I was. But not for the same reason as last time.” Without a hesitation of your own, your palm reaches between your seats. And you can tell Yoongi watches as you take his hand to hold. 
“I was worried about you,” you correct with softness. “It was hard because I didn’t know what to do.” Don’t fucking cry. You filled quite a few buckets already. “When you started not really saying much, I just… Hoped it was for a good reason, so. Yeah.” 
You feel your hand gently pulled, which is already enough to make you melt. But when it’s kissed, you don’t know what the hell to fucking do. 
“I’m sorry, doll,” Yoongi whispers into your skin, lips brushing with every syllable and painting a canvas of his reconcile. “I won’t leave you hanging like that again.” 
There’s a tiny fire in the back of your throat, the embers reaching your eyes just a little too aggressively. You attempt to squash the growing flames before they flare. “Oh. Umm. Thank you.” What else do you say? Yoongi’s being wonderful, but why do you feel… sad? Why is there lingering snow on your windowsill? “Were you worried?” 
“Me? Umm.” He stops at a light that he clearly didn’t want to stop at. Resting your conjoined hands on his pliant thigh, his jaw works as he observes them.
And you wonder if he thinks they slot together perfectly, too. 
“…Yeah.” 
Fuck. “About what?” 
“That you’d hate me.” 
Your heart meshes his fingers with yours. “Yoongi.” 
“Or that you shouldn’t be with someone that’s gone this much.” 
Fuck, he’s doing it again. Regressing. You’ve seen it happen in his kitchen and you’ll be damned if all that work, all that peeling, all that resolution amounted to nothing wait, wait, stop. This isn’t gonna be an overnight fix. And you have no clue what’s been happening, so just keep trying, trying, trying. 
“I’m used to people leaving,” you joke, but not really. “Like seasons.” 
He whips his head to you, and you backpedal because that probably sounded so random. You’ve got to think about filtering your thoughts a little more now that you’re getting comfortable. Yoongi says you can be yourself, sure, but you have to admit your quirks are a little out there. “I know it’s weird, but..” 
He’s quiet as the light turns green. And when you don’t finish, he admits, “I think the same.” 
“You do?” 
Your hand is brushed as a hum peppers it from above. “Mmhmm.” 
“Well.” That’s interesting. You didn’t know anyone thought about that stuff like you did. Now you wonder if there’s anywhere else your wavelengths sync, and if they’ve been syncing up all this time. “At least you come back.” 
Yoongi squeezes your hand tight before he holds it against his lips. Again. Fuck, this is a lot. You’re so wrapped up in his gesture that you don’t catch what he whispers. 
“Hmm?” 
He glances at the center console before putting your hand back on his thigh. 
“Always, doll.” 
And the fire you stepped on rages back with a vengeance. Heat and sting surrounds your eyes, and you don’t hide how you press your feelings into his skin. “Me, too.” 
If you weren’t lost in the surrounding scenery outside, you would have caught Yoongi’s look. But all you feel is his hand clutching you tight, and it breaks you down all the same. 
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The rest of the drive is spent with him telling you to eat more, and a bunch of your sing-alongs to almost every song that comes on. It seems like the tiny bit of closure opened you both up, and you don’t even realize that you’ve been on the road for a really long time. 
But finally, Yoongi pulls up to a building, and you’re haphazardly rapping along to a song before you notice. Wait. What? He drove you to a rec center? 
Your fingers curl around his forearm before you even notice. “What’s this?” 
“Where we’re going.”
Hold on, you’re going inside? “Are we even allowed to be here?”
When Yoongi responds, his teeth make you shiver as he smirks. “Can’t say for sure, no.”
“Then why—”
He unlocks before you can finish, and you’re left in an empty car until he rounds the hood, coming over to your side and opening the door. You almost don’t hear what he says next, too focused on the jewelry swinging from his neck as he bends forward. 
But you catch it, and glance once more at the sight in front of you before biting your lip—in nervousness or excitement, you can’t decide.
“You comin’?”
Damn. Obviously, you want nothing more than to see him here. And it’s much too late for anyone to be around. But if something happens… Whatever. 
Your mouth finally unsticks. “If we get caught, you’re gonna pay for this.”
And you can’t resist his stupid grin. “Now get your pretty ass out before I put you in the back.” 
“Yoongi!”
Grinning, he leads you out, and you follow him to the trunk. After bouncing his stowed ball a couple times, he decides to lean in and reach for something else. 
Wait. Is that what you think it is? “Did you always have that in there?” you ask, pointing to the contraption that Yoongi’s using to air up his basketball.
And he does a horrible job at suppressing a smile. Which makes you burst into flutters and beats beats beats. “You liar!” Oh, you are gonna wipe those laughs from his throat. “I had to change up my plans because of you!”
Palming the ball, Yoongi tilts his head dangerously to one side. “And I got to see you,” he proudly claims. “So I’ll take it.”
You hate how the memories come packaged with what’s haunted you. What else happened during that time, and what happened after you left. But there’s no way you’re gonna bring that up. Not when the night has transformed into something so magical. 
So you just clutch your food and lean on his car, opting to compliment him to wipe the murk away. “Got to see you, too,” you puff into the brisk night. Because you harbor a bit of nostalgia in your bones. And because he still makes you shy. “You and your stupid hair.”
Another bout of hisses wisp into your side. As you turn to regard Yoongi again, he slips his chains into his hoodie before continuing, and you swoon at the veins popping out of his skin with each pump. 
How can he look so perfect doing the simplest things? So unfair. 
After seconds that feel like an hour, Yoongi’s done. And he scans the parking lot before telling you to follow him. 
What you expect is some outdoor courts. Maybe getting past a gate or two. So when you approach a back door lit by the shine of a single light, you freeze. “Are we really going in?”
Fishing something out of his pocket, Yoongi simply turns over his shoulder. “Yeah. Why not?”
“Oh.” You didn’t think you’d actually get inside the building. If there was an outside court just as accessible it would’ve made sense. Can you even bring food in here? Is that question even relevant? “No reason.”
“So I shouldn’t bust in?”
Huh. “What?”
“I’ve already done it a few times, so.”
“Wait!” Nerves throw your hand on his bicep before you can stop. “What if someone sees us?”
He’s so warm. And so toned. And if he plans on taking his hoodie off? You’re not prepared for whatever the hell he has underneath. 
Voice softened, Yoongi tries to placate your paranoia, “They won’t, doll.”
“Are you sure? If we get caught here they’re gonna call the police and I am definitely not… Gonna…”
The object in his hand jangles, and you clearly see he was just joking the whole time because keys—keys—stare you in the face. 
What is it with him and keys? 
When Yoongi speaks, you feel like you’ve never done anything bad in your life, and suddenly the thought of trespassing with an official way in is so scandalous, 
“You picked the wrong night to be a good girl.”
You have to admit. Seeing him so mischievous and dashing makes you wanna follow him wherever the hell he goes. Even if it gets you in trouble. Even if you were breaking in tonight, you would be all in. And that thought should frighten you, but it only does because of the wings tickling your rib cage. 
How can he make you feel rebellious and yet still so shy? The power of Min Yoongi. He’s way too good at destroying you.
When you glare, the man only grins, hisses of laughter leaving him way too happily before he unlocks the door to no alarms or sirens. He doesn’t need to throw a wink your way, too, but of course he does as he lets you in. Which causes you to float through the dark entryway instead of walk oh he did not just slap your ass!
A jolt in your cunt causes you to regard him in shock. To which he hums in a feigned question. “Hmm?”
With nothing but darkness and his cologne surrounding you, it’s only natural that giddiness takes hold. Truthfully, you’re packed with so much adrenaline that you feel a little wild yourself. “You’ve been waiting to do that, huh.” 
“So fucking long.”
You are not surviving the night. And you don’t give a single shit.
But as shy and out of control as you feel around this man, you also feel safe—even in a faraway, dark building that you’ve never been in before. That’s gotta say something about him, right? 
Yoongi feels along the wall beside you for lights, purposefully bumping your chest with his front even though he’s securing a ball with an arm. When you question his joking decision with noises, a chaste kiss on your lips shuts you right up.
“You’re in the way,” he jokes through what you think is a smile, and you’re about to move when he flicks on a switch very far away from your shoulder.
Liar! Your jaw drop must be comical because Yoongi’s grin stretches astronomically wide. But you cannot find a retort because seeing him so chill while you’re stiff from paranoia has you at a loss.
Is this how he used to be all the time? This carefree, all caution to the wind? He’s so fucking handsome like this. No wonder he’s pulled so many hearts just like yours. 
When you still don’t find any words to say, Yoongi makes it harder, stepping so close that you have to swing the plastic container away. Taking one of your hands in his free one, he gives it a warm squeeze while murmuring,
“You’re so cute.”
“How,” you ask just as softly.
And Yoongi responds with lights in his eyes. “Just are.”
Your lips mesh with his as he keeps your fingers secured, and suddenly every cautious thing in your body gets launched into the skies, too.
But it ends as soon as it begins. And Yoongi backs away from you with a smile, 
“Eat.”
“Huh?”
“Eat, doll,” he orders before turning and dribbling onto the court.
When you call out that he hasn’t eaten yet, Yoongi tells you that he already did. When you look around to figure out where to even sit, you decide on the closest set of bleachers and make yourself as comfortable as you can.
Which is impossible. Because they’re bleachers. Which is now triple impossible. Because Yoongi just shucked off his hoodie and the only thing he had under it was his chains goddamn it.
If you weren’t already sitting down you would’ve fallen right into the next dimension. How the fuck are you supposed to eat in these conditions shit he’s walking over! 
Your throat seizes as Yoongi approaches, face trained as if he isn’t aware of his overwhelming presence. All he does is bend to place his sweater next to your legs. But the quick smooch on your lips makes you swoon harder than you ever have.
And the way his silver taps your chest makes you mentally hold on for dear life. Wait. What the fuck, Yoongi’s taking them off right now? Right in front of you? Just as you're supposed to eat oh okay he’s handing them to you great wonderful fantastic.
The metal links feel so warm yet slightly cold to the touch. Weighty, yet light. But you clutch them in your hand as you connect a gaze to his.
“Relax,” he orders, lightly slapping the side of your thigh. “No need to worry.” 
And with bangs swishing, he goes right back to the ball waiting for him. Leaving you starry-eyed to hell with silver in your palm.
…Did all of that just happen? Is any of this even real? Quite frankly, you fucking forgot what you were even worried about. 
No matter what he does—simple lay-ups standing in place, dribbling to different spots to shoot, or even lazily jogging after the ball—you’re so enthralled with his actions that you forget that you’re not supposed to be here. 
And it takes your last bite of food for something to finally hit you. How does Yoongi have keys to this place? Where the hell did he score those because you don’t think he ever mentioned anything about working here. Or anywhere else other than the studio. 
Yet another mystery to add to this walking, bare-chested enigma. 
But there’s another question forming behind your eyes the longer you watch him practice, the more you notice how he’s actually going hard. Yoongi’s really good right now. A lot better than what you’ve seen of him before. 
Has he been coming here more often than he’s let on? And why does he look so… serious? You’d be surprised if he even remembered you’re here. 
Setting your empty container down, you gather the chains in your hands again, deciding to slip them over your head for safer keeping. After, you grab a water before stepping down the bleachers, hanging a little ways away until Yoongi notices you’re courtside.
And when he sees you, he stops practicing immediately, jogging to you so sweaty and shining and gross and handsome and— “Wait, you’re all swea—”
You’re pulled into a kiss the same time you hear a basketball drop, salt on your tongue and damp palms on your cheeks. And you melt right into the shiny wood floor, drifting, drifting, sailing into dreamland even though you’re technically already there. 
“Sweaty,” you whisper into his hot breaths of exertion, a twinge between your legs when he kisses you even deeper—breathing, inhaling, taking you in. “Gross.”
“Thanks.” 
You flash a smile against Yoongi’s lips, giggling because this is all better than anything your brain could’ve conjured on its own. When you ask why he’s going so hard, all you get is a question in return,
“You’re perfect, you know that?” 
Huh? Blinking, you suddenly don’t remember your own train of thought. “What did I do?” 
“Nothing.” He presses a wet mouth to your nose. “Did you eat?”
Laughing, you reassure him, “I did, I did.” 
“Good. You bored?”  
“Huh?”
Yoongi leans to softly take your lips this time, and you want to say he’s approaching the legal limit for kisses tonight. “Thought you came over cus you wanna leave.”
“And stop seeing you play? I could watch this forever.” You squeeze the water bottle a little tighter. “Just checking on you.” Another strike hits between your legs when Yoongi takes another, lazier glide over your mouth, and you sigh when he tugs you forward by your bottoms, fingers slick from use. 
You could do this for eternity, too.
“Well I got about five more minutes in me, so..”
This man. 
“Forever might be a stretch.” 
“Ah, shut up. Here,” you offer through a giggle, holding the water out for him to take. 
“Thanks.” When he does, he tilts his head at just the right angle to cut you through, gulping down liquid and making you do the same to your nothingness. 
So unfair. “You looked like you were going pretty hard.” 
Lowering the bottle, Yoongi shifts his jaw before taunting something a ways off. “I kinda was.” 
“It was kinda hot.” 
His laugh makes you smile, and his next swig makes you weep. “Nah, but. This is our practice gym. I can just zone out here, so. It’s been one of those things.” 
Ah. Was this one of the places Yoongi ended up during those months apart? You wish he could’ve brought you along sometimes. Or at least thought about asking. It’s nice just to be around him while he does something he likes. Gaining courage, you say exactly what’s on your mind, “You can always bring me, too. If you want.” 
And it’s true. You don’t really have to do much when you’re with him, because just being around him is what brightens your day. Lifts your mood. 
But you have to admit that watching him play basketball while shirtless is the biggest fucking win in history. 
When did Yoongi get so close? When did his eyes retreat so far away? “I didn’t wanna bother you with this,” he admits, a drop of sweat clinging onto his chin. “I don’t even put music on.” 
“You never bother me,” you whisper back. Hoping that he believes you and that he will start to accept that as fact. Because it is. “Even if you’re being annoying.” 
The bottle crinkles as he smiles, and there’s a soft kiss to your lips that has no real desire behind it. Just a nice peck that sends you careening down a hill of flowers. “You won’t be feeling that way tomorrow, babe.” 
“And why is that?”
“Cus of what I’m wearing.” 
And he says that while half-naked? Like any look on him could get any worse. “Oh,” you scoff out, fully calling his bluff. “As if.”
Well, fuck. You don’t enjoy the smirk plastered on his face. It has you both dreading and excited for whatever demon you’re gonna run into tomorrow. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He shrugs as he starts to hand the water back. “We can go soon, by the way.”
“Okay.”
But before you can grab it, Yoongi pulls the bottle from reach. “Unless,” he teases. “You wanna play me.”
“What.”
His grin shines, face glistening and turning your insides to jelly. “You told me you’d win, so. Let’s see it.”
You said that? While sober? How does he remember something like that when you can’t even recall a time or place you’d tell him something so bold. “When!”
“Right after you woke up once. Said you’re a master?”
Oh. That was ages ago. Fuck, you already forgot how did Yoongi remember? 
“Oh. Well.” Your nose turns up in feigned haughtiness. “Wouldn’t wanna throw you off your game before a championship.” 
“Uh huh.”
“I’d make you cry what the fuck!” 
Water spills down your head in rivulets as you freeze, stunned and watching Yoongi jogging his laughs back to the bleachers like a punk. “Think you got something on your face, doll.”
“Yoongi!” What the hell possessed him to do that to you here? Racing after him with purpose, you slam into him just as he reaches for another bottle, shoving a laugh out of his throat and making him catch himself on hardwood. “Nu uh, gimme that!”
“It’s mine, I just ran out—”
“Bitch!” You lunge for another bottle lying further away, distancing yourself to quickly rip the cap off and to avoid feeling his slick back on your hands. 
And it’s a lawless gym as both of you start spraying water, arcs and splashes of bottled liquid spewing over the court and soaking into your clothes and his bare skin. Which proves to get worse and worse for your wellbeing the more he gets soaked in your attacks. 
Running ends up being the only option to avoid getting completely drenched, and you hightail it behind bleachers before your waist is grabbed. “Fuck!” 
“Uh huh.” 
You try to wrestle out of his hold, his wet forearm digging lovely into your stomach, and you’re temporarily let go just so Yoongi can spin you around. 
Your back connects with solid wall, the impact shooting a grunt out of your throat before you laugh out of pure disbelief. “I can’t believe, you got me to do that,” you rush out, sentence punctuated by your breaths more than anything else. 
Here you are. Under bleachers. With Yoongi’s skin caging you with radiating heat.  
You can only stare as he drinks you in, no doubt looking at his silver around your neck and your chest heaving from exertion. Butterflies float across your stomach when his smile drips, and you fold as soon as he swoops in. 
Everything in your being pulses hard. It’s so visceral that you teeter on the edge of sanity and logic, and the thoughts slipping through your mind are just as wild as you feel. Before you’re even aware of it, a mischievous finger slides along the hem of his shorts, and you jump at the downright boulders rolling down your front, 
“Careful, doll.”
“Hmm?” You feel bad. And it feels fantastic. “What was that?” 
More gravel slides down his tongue, and you shake at his attractive as fuck threat, “Fuck around and find out then.” 
Your giggles add feather lightness into his murky laughs, but you’re so preoccupied that you don’t notice his hand between your legs until he slaps the inside of your thigh. “Yoo—!”
“Unless.” He leans forward. “My baby’s too scared.” 
Holy fuck, you might be. Is he really willing to do something with you? In a public place very similar to where you’re gonna watch him play tomorrow? You don’t know why the fuck that’s attractive as hell, but it is. 
Yoongi grips your chin, eyes falling to your lips and brows knitted before claiming your lips even harder. And despite your bones vibrating to hell, you put your all into the kiss, relishing in the growing hardness you feel against your front. An animal starts to wake inside your core, and you almost feel like stroking it. Feeding it. Raising it only for it to consume you in return. 
“Fuck it, we’re leaving.” 
“Huh?” Dazed, you let your vision refocus as Yoongi chuckles at your hazy state. 
“Fuck this. I’m taking you home.” 
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For some reason, the game makes you nervous today. Even while Taehyung strides into the gymnasium with you, there’s a lingering feeling swelling in your stomach, and you don’t have any reason for it yet. 
At least this is another rec center entirely. Because there’s no way you would’ve sat still knowing you had a clandestine meeting in the same place not even twenty-four hours before. 
But the activity already bustling around hardwood catches your attention. Not on both sides, since only one team is here, but they are active on the other end doing drills. 
Wow. They look really intimidating, matching jerseys that were clearly done professionally and warm-ups having a set routine. You wonder if this is gonna be a tough game for… Wait. That’s your brother under the basket. That’s them? 
Fucking hell, Yoongi was right.
Because you’ll already never get over how attractive he looks in athletic clothes.
But team jerseys? 
Seeing this man rock a basketball uniform with his toned arms and legs so visible makes you want to claw your way out of your invisible cage. 
When the hell did they even get those? And why is he already slightly drenched during the warm-up alone? 
As soon as you see him make a lay-up, you know for a fact that you shouldn’t be here. 
Yes, you’re gonna stay and yes, you’re gonna cheer for them all game. But you are absolutely gonna feel like jumping him, which will in turn make you wanna bolt and run all the way out of town every agonizing second. 
Shit, shit, shit. You’re gonna have to try your damned hardest to unstick your eyes from that man the whole time. Already, you can hear Taehyung’s teasing, and your groan is to lament your future state.
Your name suddenly rings across the gym, and four feet pause in your ascent up the bleachers. When you catch both him and Jimin waving you down from their courtside chairs, you tilt your head in intrigue. 
They want you to come over there? What the hell is this about? 
Sighing, you turn. “Guess I’ll go see what they want.” 
“Here,” Tae offers his hand. “I’ll save you a seat.” 
Your bag is transferred to his grip while you nod, and you step down onto the court, wondering if you’re even allowed to walk onto it to see them. And Jimin’s grin can be seen from miles away. “Come here!” 
You gingerly step onto shiny wooden floors, making your way over and becoming hyper aware that someone else notices your presence. But you’re so puzzled as to why there’s no one on the other side of the court yet because isn’t the game about to start? 
Where’s the other team? As you approach their row of chairs, your hands immediately find your hips. “What’s up?” 
Jimin’s eyes stay creased as your brother explains the reason he waved you down. A very stupid, very innocuous reason. “Can you keep score?” 
“Me?” 
“Yeah.” 
“Why me?” 
Your brother uses his jersey to wipe sweat from his brow, and you wince at the brand new material getting gross already. “The girl that usually does it for us is sick.” 
“And you know the game,” Jimin quickly tacks on, rubbing at some tattoos on full display. Wait, are there more than you remember? When did he get more ink?
Your sibling asks another question you had in mind, “You aren’t gonna cover those?”
“Nah. Not today,” the man elongates in a stretch. “Just got another one. This one!” 
Ah, you were right. “I like it.” 
Jimin couldn’t look more proud. But enough of that because you really just wanna go back and observe the game from another place entirely. “Can’t y’all find someone else to keep score?” 
“We don’t think anyone else can,” your brother explains, looking over your shoulder. “At least, not the people coming to watch us.” 
Cool. You get to be met with heat and sweat from all these guys without compensation. How is this something you would say yes to? “Well. I don’t really feel like being a scorekeeper for free.” 
When your sibling laughs with Jimin, they share a look before he says so matter-of-factly, “Told you.” 
You’re sticking with that. If you’re gonna sit next to a bunch of smelly people, they’re gonna pay… you… somehow.
A ways down the row, you catch Yoongi dumping himself onto a random chair, head tilted back before he hangs it forward to wipe sweat from his forehead. 
And suddenly this temporary gig doesn’t seem terrible in the slightest. 
Because one, you can sit on a team bench that will have his fine ass right there. And two, this will give you a way to objectively focus on the game. You won’t have time to be distracted by a demon and his hair that’s gotten criminally long. 
“I’ll get us all dinner,” your sibling slices through your thoughts. “After we win.”  
“Fine,” you sigh, taking the end seat and shooting one more glance to the other side of the court. “Then I get to p—”
The air around you squeezes inward. And all sounds plunge underwater. 
Because you recognize someone you knew from a dark club walking onto the court, his team looking just as sharp and cocky as his eyes. 
Shit. Shit, shit, shit. 
You don’t notice the way Jimin’s hands flex, nor the way a familiar presence walks up to join your brother. 
All you can do is stare back. 
And without even realizing. 
You’re already rubbing your arm.
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tbc. :((
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a ha ha... so how do we feel? | taglist | discord!
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a/n: okay, hello, loves. apologies this part took so damn long to post! can you imagine if i tried to post everything at once LMAOO yikes talk about too much at once. but i hope this part was enough to still be good on its own, and broken, pt. 2 will be... well. you can probably guess that's where a majority of my brainpower is going to go. a/n 2: thank you all for being here! it's been an amazing two years working on this series and i cannot tell you how grateful and appreciative i am to have such wonderful people alongside me. i hope this series continues to be there for you when you need it, bc it has become that for me, too. ++ feedback box: ⇥ of course, any reblogs/comments/messages are appreciated! ⇥ for the ones that are too shy to reblog with a review, comment on this, or send a message, i went ahead and made another anonymous form where you can send in what you think! ⇥ no emails collected, no need to put in a username. it’s literally just a comment dropbox :D feedback can be as short/sweet or as long as you’d like! ⇥ here! ++ more links: ⇥ masterlist  ⇥ three tangerines masterlist
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ravenromanova · 7 months
Text
Bad girl
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Parings: Wandanat x Female Avenger
Warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18! Mommy kink, Daddy kink, Fingering, Edging, Bonadge, Orgasm denial, Oral, Nipple play, Mean Wanda, Overstimulation. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Summary: Wanda and Natasha need to give their neglected baby some attention
This fic came from this request!
Kinktober masterlist - Main masterlist - Send me requests!!!
~
You could feel the two sets of emerald eyes throwing daggers at you as you talked to their younger siblings. Your plan was working a little better than you had intended and you were just hoping they’d break soon. The plan was simple, flirt with pietro and yelena, get Wanda and Nat to give you attention like you’ve been wanting all week.
Your girlfriends had promptly been ignoring you for over a week now and it was killing you. Honestly you had no idea why they were being so cold towards you. So you did what you did best…scheme. And by the looks that both redheads were giving you it was definitely working.
The three of you were downing shots at the bar in between sharing your most embarrassing mission stories.
“No i swear i almost died that mission” You laugh at your own stupidity from your last mission as you down another shot. Pietro went on about how Clint “accidentally” shot him with an arrow during training and you lost it. You slyly put your hand on the blondes shoulder making his twin fume.
“I think you’ve had enough malysh” A thick sokovian accent flooded your ears as her hands came around your waist. Her hands squeezed your hips making you squeak a little as you turned to look at her.
“But im having fun” You try to protest earning a disappointed sigh from the redhead.
“I said you’ve had enough” She repeated herself lowly in your ear causing you to shiver. “Natty is already in the room waiting for us” Wanda took your hand and pulled you away from Yelena and Pietro despite your protests. Her cool rings her digging into the flesh of your arm causing you to struggle in her grasp.
“Heyyyyy!” You pout as she takes you away from your friends.
“Bad girls dont get to have fun” She pushed you into the room where Natasha was waiting on the bed. You opened your mouth to say something but she pushed you onto the bed before you could.
“Anything to say for yourself?” The russian asked kneeling behind you. Your senses were all kinds of fucked as you were surrounded by the two women.
The air in the room was thick with tension as you felt Natashas hands come underneath your shirt rubbing small circles on your stomach. Both of the women raised an eyebrow waiting for your response but you couldn’t find one that wouldn’t make them mad.
“I-I just wanted your attention” The words fly out of your mouth before you could stop them. “You two have been so distant and cold towards me lately” Both women look at each other as you speak and they truly felt bad for abandoning their princess.
“So instead of coming to us about it you decided to flirt with our siblings?” Wanda seethed feeling her guilt melt away and her anger take over.
You simply nod your head at her question feeling all kinds of stupid at your antics. You knew your girlfriends loved you and were probably just having a difficult time lately but you still missed them.
“You could’ve just asked detka” The russian husked in your ear kissing it softly. “But since you wanted to be a slut we now have to treat you like one” Her hands found their way to the hem on your panties making you shiver.
“I-I’m sorry daddy” You groan feeling her hand pull away from your core. “I’ll be a good girl” Natasha chuckled in your ear moving from behind you to lay you flat on the bed.
“Oh we know you will detka” She said softly giving you a sweet kiss before they ruin you. Wanda flicks her wrist and youre left naked on the bed. Both women kneel on either side of you slowly rubbing your soft skin making you burn with desire.
“Here’s how this is gonna go” Wandas voice broke you out of your thoughts. “We are going to play with you and you only get to cum when we say so and if you cum before we allow you to then you will be punished more than you already are okay?” She says gripping your chin.
“Yes mommy i understand” Wanda smiles at your submission and then uses her magic to tie your hands to the bed frame. The red tendrils buzzed against your skin and made you smile.
Wanda made her way down to your wet pussy and stopped right before she got to your clit. Your hips bucked against her hand when you felt her cool hands come into contact with your heated skin. She slowly licked a stripe against your pussy making you moan but ultimately she left you wanting more. She flicked her wrist again and started drawing circles against your clit.
“Oh fuck mommy” You mewl feeling the buzzing on your most sensitive area. Wanda smiled softly and you and gave Natasha a look that sealed your fate for the night. You felt the older woman move behind you and rest your body against her chest. Her slim fingers made their way down to your nipples and started tugging on them.
“Yes yes yes” You chanted relishing in the touch of your lovers. You felt the coil in your stomach about to burst at their touch. But it was soon cut off when Natasha stopped touching you and Wandas magic ceased on your clit.
“Did you really think we’d let you cum that easily? Bad girls dont get to have fun” Wanda repeated her words from earlier coming back up so your faces are inches apart.
“B-But mommy” You whine trying to pull her closer and she responded by smacking your mouth.
“Do not talk back” She reprimanded with a harsh tone making you sink back into Natashas hold.
“Oh come on dont be so mean to her Wands. Our little baby just wanted our attention” Natasha cooed rubbing your cheek softly to soothe the sting.
“Stop being so soft of the little slut Natalia” Wanda sneered giving the russian her signature death glare.
“No, she’s just our dumb little baby who didn’t know any better” The russian played with your hair making Wanda roll her yes.
“She’s still getting punished for being a slut” The younger of the two women flicked her wrist again and the your clit started buzzing again.
“Oh fuck” You throw your head back onto Natasha in pleasure. One of Natashas hand found home around your throat applying just the right amount of pleasure.
The coil in your stomach was about to snap again feeling Wandas magic on your clit. Wanda stopped the magic once more making you whine in protest.
“Please mommy please let me cum” You begged the witch making her shake her head.
“Now what’s the fun in that when you get so worked up by me not?” She asked and Natasha just shook her head at the younger woman. You felt a shifting behind you and then Natasha was the one between your legs.
Wanda shot the spy a look that read ‘what are you doing?’. Natasha simply shook her head and parted your thighs.
“Well if you aren’t going to fuck her then i will” She simply said shrugging her shoulders and started eating your pussy. Wanda groaned at her girlfriend and slightly outed that her fun was over. She always knew the spy had a soft spot for you and Wanda did too expect for when you fuck up.
“Always so soft on her” Her words sent a chill down your spine making you look up on her.
“That doesn’t mean you have to be” Your words made her tilt her head and raise an eyebrow at you. “I-I like it when youre rough with me mommy” You say trying to pull on the magical restraints but failing.
Wanda just smiled and wrapped her hand around your throat and her mouth came into contact with your nipple. “Yes mommy-fuck-“ You moan when you feel Wanda biting and tugging on your nipple.
“So sweet detka” Natasha praised sticking two fingers in you hitting your g-spot. You threw your head back feeling overwhelmed by the pleasure you’re enduring.
“Hurry up and make her cum” Wanda hurried Natasha as she stared at the spy making her speed up her actions.
“R-Right there-oh fuck- yes daddy yes!” The moan ripped itself from your throat and the coil in your stomach snapped as Natasha hit your g-spot just right.
“Good girl” She praised bringing you into a heated kiss. The two of you moaned as you tasted yourself on her lips. Wanda was quick to pull you two apart and settled herself in between your thighs again.
The witch wasted no time in shoving three fingers in you making you scream at the burn. She kept her eyes on you the whole time as Natasha started leaving marks on your chest and neck.
“Oh fuck mommy please can i cum?” You asked feeling your second orgasm build up. Wanda smirks and then rips her fingers out of you causing you so cry out.
“P-Please mommy” You beg pulling on your restraints. Wanda clutches your face in her hand again forcing you to look at her.
“Who do you belong to?” She asked giving you another smack on the cheek.
“You and Daddy i-i belong to you and Daddy” You responded to her question quickly which made her smile.
“You better start acting like it” She said and you nodded obediently as she made her way back down to your pussy. Natasha was still leaving marks on your neck when Wanda shoved her fingers back into you.
“Cum you little slut” Wanda urged fucking into you at a hard and rough pace. The coil in your stomach was building up at every stroke of your g-spot.
“R-Right there mommy fuck!” You screamed feeling your orgasm rip through you. Wanda continued to finger you not caring that you were pleading her to stop. Her fingers worked relentlessly against your core. It all became too much Natashas mouth of your nipple while Wanda fucked you hard had you reeling.
“Too much Mommy s-stop please!” Your attempt at pushing Wanda out with just your thighs failed you when she used her magic again to tie your thighs together.
“Fight me again and you wont get to cum for weeks” She muttered against your clit while her fingers were still in you.
At a certain point you lost how many orgasms your girlfriends had pulled out of you alternating between who fucked you. But after what felt like hours they finally stopped.
“I’m sorry for being a bad girl” You said in the midst of a fucked out haze. Both women laid next to you and Wanda tilted your chin to look at her.
“We’re sorry for ignoring you malysh. We’ll do better.. Just dont pull that again little one” She gave you a sweet kiss and then rubbed your cheek softly.
“We love you detka” Natasha whispered in your ear as her arms snaked around your waist.
“I love you guys too” You said with a dopey smile on your face. The three of you fell into a comfortable silence just enjoying the soft kisses and touches they gave you. That night they promised you no matter what that they’d never neglect their baby ever again.
~The end~
A/n: Sorry i kinda rushed this one i wanted to make sure i posted this one tonight since i have a few more kinktober fics coming out and i dont wanna keep not posting for days at a time!
I do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other cites
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fadedncity · 1 year
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give me the greenlight
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wc: 19.0k…y'all i genuinely don't know how
pairing: mark x fem!reader
cw: smut, street racing au, childhood friends to lovers, non idol au, college au, lil angst, fluff, mention of other idols, slight allusions to a toxic ex, alcohol consumption, use of marijuana, mark's lowkey a big flirt, switch!mark, switch!reader, auralism, thigh riding, dirty talk, pet names, praising, teasing, marking, fingering, semi public sex, car sex, oral sex (giving/receiving), exhibitionism (barely), multiple orgasms, protected sex, aftercare, way more plot than i expected, lmk if i missed anything
[9:16 PM] FRIDAY
"Come on. The cops are gonna bust it before we even get there!" Summer stomped her heels like a whiny child.
"You know these things never start on time, we will be fine," you said, coming down the stairs.
"You could always go ahead of us and we'll meet you there," Nyla said, checking herself in the mirror, "Oh wait, you can't drive," she deadpanned.
"Only temporarily," Summer rolled her eyes.
"Only until your suspension is lifted," you reminded.
"One of you could let me borrow a car. It's only an issue if I get caught." Summer says matter of factly, like either of you would side with her.
"That is the issue, sweetie, you did get caught." Nyla pats Summer's cheek.
Summer crossed her arms, again acting like a moody toddler.
"Let's go," you grabbed your keys off the table, "Thought you didn't wanna be late." You said to Summer, heading out the door.
With an annoyed huff, Summer gathered her things and followed you and Nyla out the door.
The three of you got into your car, the gentle purr of the engine coming to life once you put the key in the ignition, sending vibrations through the entire vehicle. Music filtered through the speakers as you pulled out of your spot and took off down the street.
"Hyuck said to make sure you turn your lights off when you're coming up," Summer relayed a message she received from Haechan once you were halfway there.
"Yeah, yeah, I know," you waved off.
You turned off your headlights once you neared the exit, moving offroad. You carefully drove into the woods on unpaved ground, heading deeper into the darkness as the distant streetlights weren't doing anything to assist your sight anymore. 
"I always hate this part," Nyla says from the passenger seat.
"Gotta make sure we don't get caught if any cops are hiding around here." You said.
"I know, but it always feels like the beginning of a horror movie. And you know the hot ones always die first," Nyla pouted.
You found the opening in the fence, worn down from being driven over so many times, and pulled into the abandoned army base, finally able to cut your lights back on.
The sound of music playing and tires screeching on the pavement could already be heard from the runway the meet was on, and you were still a few hangars away.
You slow down once you reach the crowd taking over the runway. People move out of the way as you cruise down the road, looking for a spot to park.
"Ain't that Johnny over there," Summer pointed from the backseat.
"I'd recognize that giant beanstalk anywhere," you say before honking your horn, startling the Aquarius and getting his attention.
"Wow, the princess actually graces us with her presence on this lovely night," Johnny curtsies, and you scoff.
"Just move out the way before I run your ass over." you tell him.
You backed your car into the spot next to Johnny, and your friends practically jumped out of the vehicle before you could put it in park. You hadn't even closed your door when Johnny embraced you in a tight hug. 
"Jesus, John, gonna crack a rib," you gasp.
"Feels like we don't see you at these things anymore," He let you go.
"Come on, it hasn't been that long. I was here like a few weeks ago."
"For like 20 minutes. You left before you could even see me smoke Jungwoo," he crossed his arms over his chest.
You remember that night. You had totally forgotten the assignment you had due at 11:59 and raced back home to turn it in on time.
"Shit. That's my bad. You know it's just stuff with the garage and school and…stuff," you trail off.
"Yeah, I get it," Johnny slung his arm around you, "You're doing good though, kiddo," you both started following behind Nyla and Summer as they wandered off.
"How do you figure?"
"Made it further than me. I had already dropped out by this point," Johnny said, sharing a laugh.
The music came from every direction with people displaying their boosted sound systems out of their trunks. All cars of different makes and models lined the sides of the track. The ones not focusing on the races were too busy gawking at the expensive modifications under the hoods of those showing them off.
"Last chance. Winner take all," you instantly recognize Chenle's voice over the rest of the clamor.
You watch Summer reach into her bag, giving Chenle an indescribable amount, looking proud of herself.
"Who're you betting on?" Johnny asks her. 
"Yeri, duh," she answered. 
"You sure that was a good choice?" he teases.
"Obviously. Hyuck ain't got shit on her." 
"Yeah, alright," Johnny rolled his eyes, taking a bit of offense himself.
"Where is Haechan, by the way? He's up next," Jeno says.
"Over there talking to Jaemin," Chenle nodded to the opposite side of the runway where Jaemin's car was parked.
You spotted the back of Haechan's head, speaking to Jaemin through the window of his car, probably checking the police scanner and making sure you're all still in the clear, no doubt. Then your eyes land on the guy standing next to him, recognizing his silhouette.
"Oh my god, is that-" Summer starts.
"Mark Lee?" you will your vision to focus from this distance to see clearer. "Mark's back in town and no one said anything?" you hit Johnny's arm.
"You would know if you were here." Chenle shrugged.
"I'm sorry, who is Mark?" Nyla asks.
Everyone turned and looked at Nyla.
"Mark Lee? How do you not know Mark?" Summer says, showing Nyla his Instagram.
"How did you pull that up so fast?" Renjun asks.
"Holy shit, he's good," Nyla says, impressed, and you already know Summer pulled up one of the videos of him racing.
"Better be. I taught him." Johnny smiles like a proud father. "We all go way back," he says, "Ain't that right?" Johnny nudges your arm.
Way back. 
Way back when you used to spend hours at the garage with your father after school and only knew Johnny as your father's best and favorite (unconfirmed) employee. And Mark was some boy from your high school that you didn't even know until you went to your first dig.
Way back doesn't even feel that far away anymore now seeing him. It almost feels exactly like the night you met after you snuck out to the first car meet.
"If your father knew you were here, he would lose his shit. If he found out I let you drive, he would have my head. You are not getting into any car—getting behind any wheel tonight under any circumstances. Do you understand?" Johnny said. 
"But-" 
"Aht, I mean it," he said, shooting you down before changing the subject, "You know Mark, right?" Johnny asked. 
"No, I don't know Mark." 
"Well, this is Mark," Johnny said, yanking the boy out of a conversation to introduce the both of you. "You mind keeping each other company, and make sure she stays out of..everything," Johnny not so quietly muttered to Mark. "I'm up next, so be good while I'm gone," Johnny patted your head before he hopped in his car, leaving the two of you alone. 
"I can't image he's much less of a jackass at work." Mark joked. 
"He definitely isn't. I don't think it's something he can turn off," you laughed before you looked over at him, "How'd you know I'm from the garage?" you asked. 
"Johnny said you might be here tonight. He talks about you all the time, like a little sister he's never had," Mark tells you. 
"Oh really? What else has he said?" 
"You're one hell of a driver."
"Come on, it's starting," Summer pulling on your arm, tore you out of your thoughts, and you realize Mark's no longer in your sight, having lost him in the crowd.
People gather on either side of the runway, cheering as Haechan's electric blue supra pulled up next to Yeri's lavender-wrapped GT-R at the spray-painted line that served as the starting and finish line.
Chenle stood in front of them, looking at both drivers. He raised his arms, both drivers reviving up their cars. Haechan burns out his tires, kicking up smoke behind his car before Chenle drops his arms, and both speed off past him down the road.
Through all the commotion, you spotted Mark again, and before you could even think about it, you were already weaving your way through the crowd to get to him.
"So you thought you could just come back to town and not say anything to anybody?" you say, getting his attention.
Mark's eyes light up, no longer concerned with the race upon seeing you.
"I just got in yesterday, but heard you were gonna be here tonight. So I thought I'd surprise you."
"Consider me surprised."
You take the time to notice everything about him, the things that have changed and the things that haven't. Like his hair, no longer dark with the typical schoolboy cut. It's now grown out and blonde—that was as much as you could tell from the beanie it was all tucked underneath. But nothing about his face is much different than how you remember it. Still the same soft eyes you can get yourself lost in and the sweet smile that used to bring one to your face.
"So who's your money on?" Mark asks you.
"You know I'm not throwing anything unless I really got something to lose," you say, "But if I did put my money on one of them it would definitely be Yeri. She's winning this."
"Yeah, she's a good driver but don't you know what Haechan has under his hood?"
"Yeah, but it's no match for what's under Yeri's. And I would know. I put it all together myself," you smiled proudly.
You heard the cars approaching, closing in on the finishing line. From this distance, it's hard to tell who's winning, but you aren't as eager as the rest of the crowd cheering on either side to see who would make it to the end first.
The cars blurred past you, wind whipping behind them, blowing your hair out of place a bit as you turned to Mark.
"Now would you look at that," you smiled as Yeri was announced as the winner, "I know it's been a while Mark, but the last thing you should forget is that I'm always right."
"Trust, there isn't anything about you I could forget," Mark says before excusing himself to provide Haechan with moral support.
You don't know why fluttering kicks up in your stomach at his words, and you can't fight the smirk that stretches across your face as you watch him walk away. But you try to ignore it and go to congratulate Yeri on her win.
[10:32 PM] 
"Okay but like I almost had her," Haechan continues to explain. 
You hadn't been listening to Haechan, finding yourself too entranced with looking at Mark talking to Jungwoo and Somi a few feet away from you; you didn't even notice Nyla approaching.
"So like were you two a thing?" Nyla asks, startling you.
"What? Me and Mark?" you furrow your brows, "No, no, we were just friends."
"You were close?" she asks.
"Yeah, I guess you could say that." you tell her.
"This one yours?" Mark asks, getting your attention.
"I'm standing next to it, aren't I?" you reply, running your hand over the top of your car.
"And as good as you look doing it, I just wonder if you're still as good at driving it as I remember."
"You think I lost my touch while you were away?" you push yourself away from your car, shortening the distance between the both of you.
Mark shrugs, "You tell me," he smirks.
"You know I'm more show than tell," the corners of your lips turn up.
"Is anybody else seeing this?" Nyla looks around, asking.
"Like old times?" you smile.
"Just like old times," he replies.
"For how much?" you ask.
"Let's just settle with $200 for now, nothing too serious."
"Afraid I'd clean you straight out?" you teased, "Fine by me."
Everyone's now tuned into the exchange between the two of you, a mix of reactions to what was going on with you and Mark.
"Oh shit, this is gonna be good," Haechan slid off the hood of his car, engaging in the action.
"Are they really doing this right now?" Renjun asks.
"You best believe they are. Time to make a profit—Place your bets now!" Yangyang began yelling into the crowd as you and Mark started your cars.
"You two ready?" Ten asks, standing in front of your vehicles at the starting line.
"Unless Mark's having second thoughts," you look over at Mark in his car.
Mark smirked, "Are you?"
"Hell no," you revved up your engine.
With Ten's signal, your foot hovers over the gas pedal. Bringing his hands down, you and Mark take off down the runway.
You're instantly transported back to the summer nights you and Mark spent driving around abandoned warehouses and garages.
You remember staying out for hours—most times til the sun came up, trying to perfect drifting. The amounts of tires you blew out and dents you inflicted on the car you had then led the two of you to spend your days in your father's garage, repairing the damage.
You prepare yourself for the turn coming up on the track that had been carved out. It's almost as if you and Mark move in perfect sync as you shift your gears. Your tires glide on the concrete, smoothly drifting your car around the corner, a bit of smoke trailing behind you from the burning rubber.
With as fast as you were both going, you should've expected the race to end as soon as it started. And when you both drove over the finish line, it was almost hard to tell who won. But you had Mark by a fender.
"I see you have forgot I always win too," You say to Mark as Ten hands you the money, "But that's the first real race I've had in a while, so thank you for that."
"If you're really that appreciative then how about we go again," Mark offers.
"I don't wanna take anymore of your money, Mark," you say teasingly.
He rolls his eyes before leaning out of his car, "If you really don't, how about if I win, you let me take you out."
It was the last thing you expected to hear come out of Mark's mouth. You would almost describe his demeanor as cocky, but you've seen cocky, and the confidence has never looked so good on someone.
Who is this man, and what has he done with the Mark Lee you knew? 
But you weren't going to back down just because your heartbeat picks up, and you know it's not just from the adrenaline.
"How about when I win?" you ask.
He pauses, thinking for a second before saying, "You get my car."
Your eyes light up at the proposition, "Have fun walking home tonight, Markie," you laugh.
"Bitch, if you don't let him win," Summer says, coming up to your window.
"There's no way in hell I'm doing that. Do you see that car?" you say.
"Do you see that man? He wants to take me out, who am I to put a question mark where the universe placed a period?" Nyla says, looking at Mark while he talks to Haechan.
"Look, if there are no hard feelings after I give that car a few adjustments, maybe a new paint job, and Mark still wants to take me out, he can," you shrugged.
"Trust me, he'll want to. He's been eyeing you all night." Summer hits your arm.
"Shut up, he has not," you swat her away.
"Excuse me, ladies, but if you don't mind, my man Mark has a date to win," Haechan says, making it clear who he was rooting for.
"Yeah, keep on wishing, Hyuck," Summer yelled back, "You better fucking win now." she tells you.
It was Jeno this time who stood between both cars raising his arms, giving you and Mark the signal to get set. With a nod, Jeno drops his arms, and your car accelerates, taking off, Mark right there beside you. Your entire focus was on the road ahead of you, not even Mark, who would steal glances at you from time to time.
You start getting some distance between your cars, already thinking about the new rims you'd order. But all that flies out the window when you spot a cat in the road ahead of you.
You had two choices; stop or swerve into the muddy ditch to your left, as any third option would leave someone getting hurt, so you didn't even consider it. Slamming on the breaks, you come to a quick stop as the cat stands in front of your car.
"Motherfucker," you muttered under your breath.
As Mark passed you, you swore you could've heard his laugh in the wind.
You swerved around the cat, applying heavy weight to the gas, getting back into your lane, and catching back up with Mark once you approached the turn. By the time you reached the top end, you were only about an inch away from pulling ahead of Mark's car.
You heard the distorted whirls of screams filter in through your windows as you both drove over the line, everyone cheering for the winner.
"Fuck," you whined.
You really wanted that Evo.
"Did you actually let him win?" Summer asks, stunned.
"Fuck no. There was a cat on the runway, I didn't wanna hit it," you say, slamming your door shut.
"Are you serious?" Renjun asks with a laugh.
"How the fuck else would there be a way to explain how I lost?" you say.
"You wanted to let him wi-" Johnny's cut off by Mark's hand over his mouth.
"It's true, I saw it run across," Mark attests, "But still if rules are rules and winning is winning..." he shrugs with a smile.
"You got lucky, Mark. Don't let it go to your head too much," you cross your arms over your chest.
"May be a little too late for that," Mark says, eyeing you up and down.
"Jesus, were they always like this?" Nyla asks, handing Johnny the money she placed on you.
"I have no idea where the fuck any of this came from. What am I even watching right now?" Johnny says, taking the cash.
"Hey! Did you bet against me?" you ask Johnny.
"Sorry, kid. It's just business," Johnny yells back, counting the money.
"Fucking traitor," you grumble.
Then you hear the static coming from the coms (walkie-talkies, but the boys say it's immature and insist on saying coms instead), Jisung relaying something to Chenle.
"Oh shit," Chenle said, "Cops! Cops are coming!" he yelled.
Everything stopped, and everyone scattered like roaches when the lights came on.
People were running in all different directions, jumping into anything on wheels to get away. You got into your car, searching the crowd for Nyla and Summer because you weren't gonna leave without them if they arrived with you. But you caught them getting into Jaehyun's car, so you drove away.
You heard the sirens getting closer, watching the red and blue lights flash in your rearview as you made your getaway from the old army base. Only you and a few others had the same idea of using the same way you came in to get out since the cops were coming from the main entrance, trying to round everyone up. Or at least the ones that weren't fast enough.
You cut off your headlights, driving through the woods to get to the highway, when you heard your phone vibrating in your cup holder before answering it.
"You guys okay?" you ask Nyla.
"Yeah, pretty sure everyone made it out. Where are you?" Nyla asks.
"On my way to the garage to drop the car. Then I'm going over to Johnny's."
"Alright, we'll see you there."
"Alright." you hung up.
[12:26 AM] SATURDAY 
As you walked up to Johnny's street, you could already see the partying had continued as if it was never interrupted.
Cars were double parked, taking up the entire street in front of the house. People were scattered all over the lawn, still carrying on as if you all didn't just have to run for your lives to end up here. You could already hear the music from inside Johnny's house as you walked up the front steps.
"You know, the whole point of coming over here is to lay low and not attract the attention of the cops right back to us again." you say to Johnny, finding him first on the front porch.
"It'll be fine, none of the neighbors are gonna complain," Johnny says without an ounce of worry on his face as he rolls a joint.
Before you walk into the house, you stop and ask Johnny again, "You really bet against me?"
"Look, it's not that I think he's the better racer," Johnny pauses to wet the ends of the papers with his tongue, "But you weren't gonna pass up a chance to let him take you out," he teases.
Johnny begins laughing as you hit his arm, "I told you it was the fucking cat."
You leave Johnny, still laughing, on the porch, entering the house. Making your way through the crowded hallway, you reach the kitchen, finding Nyla, Summer, and Jaehyun along with Goeun.
"Finally, what took you so long? Almost hit another cat on your way over?" Summer asks, sipping on her drink.
"Haha, very fucking funny," you spit, flipping her off.
"Here, calm down, and take this," Johnny hands you the lit joint.
"Where do you even think the cat came from? Was it alone? What if it was a mother and she had a litter? Oh my god no, we have to go back and find it," Goeun asks, making it very clear she's already a few shots in.
Now if someone brings that cat up one more time…
"Can we please just stop talking about the cat," you sigh, taking one last drag.
Passing off the joint to Jaehyun, your mind was already growing hazy, your body feeling less weighed down, and you wandered out of the kitchen. You spot Jaemin and Jeno in the backyard smoking with Somi, Mingi, and Doyeon. Somi lifts the joint toward you, offering before you tell her you're good for now. You were then drawn to the living room when you heard Haechan's voice going back and forth with another's.
"Dude, stop running me over!" Haechan complained.
"Stop getting in my way!" Sunwoo yelled back.
The two boys had planted themselves in front of the TV, quickly moving their fingers over the controls in their hands as they played GTA. Aside from the ones entertained by Hyuck and Sunwoo playing, the living room was packed with others dancing, drinking, and smoking, so you didn't even attempt to make your way through.
You spun on your heels and continued to meander around the house. But you were stopped in your tracks when you were approached by Mark.
"Peace offering?" Mark hands you a drink.
"You know I'm not actually mad about losing, Mark," you take the cup from him, sipping the contents as he leans against the walls next to you.
"Does that mean, if I would've just asked you instead; a date or my car, you would've chosen-"
"Your car, definitely," you say, "Mark, you're cute and all but your car...That's like a wet dream on wheels," you tell him, and he bursts into laughter. 
"You think I'm cute?" he asks, raising a brow at you.
It registers that that is what you said to him, even without realizing it. But it's not like it's a lie, so you don't deny it.
"I do." Always have. "And fortunately, you still have your car. So where do you plan on taking me in it?"
"I'm not telling you that."
You scoff, "Why not?"
"It's a surprise."
"I hate surprises." you whine.
"You didn't seem to hate me surprising you tonight."
"That's different."
"You'll like this one," Mark tells you.
"What if you're wrong and I hate it?"
"You won't." Mark wasn't going to crack, depriving you of the information.
"Fine. But when I imagine you've planned out the most extravagant date of the century, and it doesn't meet my expectations and turns out the be the worst date of my life, I will never let you live it down, Mark Lee," you say.
He laughed at your dramatics, "I'll take that chance."
"Can I at least know when to expect this to happen?" you ask.
"Are you free tomorrow?"
"I can be."
"Perfect. I'll pick you up at 6."
"Who gets dinner at 6. We aren't seniors, Mark."
"Who said I was just taking you dinner?" he tilts his head. 
"You've only been here about 36 hours and I've only known you're back for three of them, how could you have possibly planned something already?"
"Just gotta trust me," he says, lifting his cup to lips, "And wear something nice. Not too nice. But nice."
"Wow, Mark, that is so helpful." 
"I do what I can," he smiles at you rolling your eyes. 
Mark only breaks eye contact when he feels the intruding gaze of another.
"Okay, I don't know if it's just me, but why does Leo look like he wants to hit me with his car."
Ignoring any subtleties, you turn to find exactly what Mark was talking about. Across the room, you see Leo leaning against a wall, drinking his beer, and glaring at you and Mark. 
You scoff and wave it off, "It's nothing. He's just trying that big bad intimidating ex-boyfriend shit. Thinks it's actually gonna work and bring me right back into his arms," you sip your drink.
"No way you dated him," Mark stares at you, jaw dropped, "Jesus, I leave and you suddenly lose your taste in men."
"Shut up," you shove him with a laugh.
A soft smile comes to your face as you find yourself getting lost in Mark's eyes. That was until you were interrupted by someone calling your name to get your attention.
Mark could feel his posture correcting itself as Yeonjun approached the corner you both occupied, you with open arms.
Yeonjun was another ex of yours. But you only dated for a couple months in high school before ending things on good terms, agreeing to just stay friends.
"Should've known if there was gonna be one person to actually get you out there on the track, it would be Mark," Yeonjun says, "What's up, man," he greets Mark.
"Hey, man," Mark nods.
It's not like Mark had anything against the man. They were pretty well acquainted through you and the other mutual friends he shared with Yeonjun. But it was the little prick of a feeling some may describe as a bit of jealousy Mark gets when he sees Yeonjun with you sometimes. Especially now, considering how close you and Yeonjun were before, Mark can only imagine what it's like now, and he's suddenly regretting all the time he's missed.
"Yeah, since he's not a little bitch and can actually give me a race worth my while," you tease Yeonjun, putting a smile on Mark's face.
"Oh, I know you're not grouping me in with the rest of them," Yeonjun pointed over his shoulder, "fell for the trap last time, and it cost me a Camaro."
"Don't worry. You know she's been in good hands," you say.
"Yeah. And you wasted no time with a new paint job, I see," Yeonjun crossed his arms over his chest.
"It was very much needed. I don't know what it is with you guys and that horrendous orange," you scrunch your face.
"So pink was the obvious answer?" Yeonjun asks.
"It's fuchsia, actually. And yes, it was," you nod, making both of them laugh. 
Your exchange with Yeonjun is cut short when he hears Wooyoung calling him from the other room. 
"I'll catch you guys later. Good seeing you, Mark," Yeonjun nods at Mark as he leaves, Mark doing the same.
"So, let me get this straight; you raced me in a car you already won from Yeonjun, trying to win mine," Mark crosses his arms.
"First, you offered up your car. Second, I've never had a Mitsubishi," You say.
"Good thing I won then," he laughs, and you shoot him a death glare. "Thought there were no hard feelings," he responds to your expression.
"Don't start poking the bear, Lee."
[3:37 AM]
You and Mark barely separated from one another all night, the two of you now sitting in the backyard, still smoking the joint Jaemin left for you two to finish.
"You okay over there?" Mark's voice breaks the peaceful silence and brings you back to reality. You look over at Mark, and your face splits into a smile before you burst into laughter.
"What?" Mark starts laughing along with you.
"Nothing. Sorry I'm just.." you couldn't find the words to even describe what's going on in your head right now, "incredibly high," you sigh.
Mark continues laughing with you, soothing the embarrassment you feel prick up your spine. 
"I missed this. And I missed you," Mark says.
"Me too," you smile, "All I could think about the whole night was how much it felt like the first time we met."
"Oh, you mean the same night Johnny almost got bagged?" Mark starts laughing uncontrollably as the memory comes back.
"Yes," you begin laughing as well.
"Do you remember the panic on his face when he was running," he manages to say between gasps for air. 
"I've never seen Johnny so scared," you say, your lungs begging for oxygen as you continue to laugh.
"I heard my name, you two talking about me?" Johnny steps out onto the deck.
"Yeah, and that first meet I went to when I saved your ass from the cops," you say.
Johnny scoffed, "What are you talking about?"
"Dude, how could you not remember?" Mark asks, "It was right after you raced Changkyun and you were busy talking to Yves and Jun when the cops showed up." he says.
"But good thing you left the keys in the car and since Mark was too busy freaking out, someone had to do something," you add.
"Alright, I was not freaking out," Mark says.
"It was a mild freak out," you say to him.
"Huh," Johnny nods, looking as if he's going through the archives of his memory, "I very vaguely remember that happening," Johnny says as he lights another joint.
"Maybe if you didn't smoke so much you'd remember," you mutter, sipping your water.
"I know you're not talking," Johnny pointed at you with the spliff between his lips.
"Sungchan's passed out on the front lawn," Haechan comes outside to tell Johnny.
"Okay, find Jeno or Jae and move him upstairs," Johnny says.
"Jeno already left and no one's seen Jaehyun in a while," Haechan says.
"Shit," Johnny sighs, taking a drag, "Mark, come on," he hits Mark's shoulder.
"Now how'd I get dragged into this?" Mark asks.
"Man, just come help us get him upstairs," Johnny tells Mark. With an annoyed grumble, Mark gets up, and you laugh as Mark follows the other two back into the house.
You only went back inside to refill your cup with more water when you bumped into Yeonjun again.
"Hey, you're still here." Yeonjun says.
"Yeah," you answer with a lazy smile.
He laughs at your hazy state, "You good?"
"I'm great," you reply.
Yeonjun smiles, "Well we're about to head out. Do you need a ride home?"
You only had two choices; either walk home or crash here at Johnny's. But now Yeonjun's presenting you with this third choice, and it definitely is tempting.
But Mark.
"I'm good," you nod.
"Okay, I'll see you later."
"I'll see you," you wave as Yeonjun runs off to catch up with the rest of his friends, getting into Hwiyoung's car.
This is when you finally notice how much things have calmed down. The cars lining the streets were no longer taking up the whole block. Now, the house was cleared out of mostly everyone, save for the ones who were crashing there for the night. 
"Are you heading out?" Mark asks, coming down the stairs.
"I mean, I probably should. I'm exhausted and I've got to rest up for this big date we have tomorrow," you say.
"You're not driving, right?"
"Of course not. I'm not too far."
"I'll take you."
"Mark, you are not driving either," you say, knowing he's also been drinking and smoking.
"I know. I'm walking you," Mark says, "Let me go grab my phone," he brushes past you and back out to the backyard.
"Hey," you heard from someone else coming down the stairs.
You furrow your brows at your roommate, "You're actually still here? Where have you been all night?" You ask Nyla.
"You know…around," she answered.
It was then you noticed Nyla wearing a shirt she didn't leave the house in, but you don't say anything about it at the moment.
"You ready to go?" Mark asks you.
"Wait, you're leaving?" Nyla asks.
"Yup," you answer.
"Do you want me to go with you?" she asks.
"Do you want to go with me?" you ask her.
Before she can answer, Jaehyun comes down the stairs buttoning up a shirt he wasn't wearing before, smirking at your best friend as he walks past to the kitchen.
Nyla looked internally conflicted, so you made the decision for her. "You can stay. Mark's gonna walk me home."
"Mark, you're an angel," Nyla grabs his face. "I love you. Text me when you're home," she says to you, kissing your cheek.
"You better be using protection. I'm too young to be an auntie," you say sternly to her.
"You'd be one hot auntie, though," she winks over her shoulder before disappearing into the kitchen.
"You sure would be," Mark mumbles as he leans against the doorframe.
"Mark, don't start with me," you glare at him as you walk out of the house.
"What do you mean?" he asks, following you.
"The Mark Lee I knew couldn't flirt to save his life. But now, you keep saying things like that and with you looking like this," you sighed, "It makes things confusing."
"How?" he asks.
"Cause you're Mark."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
You don't know how you're supposed to answer him. "I'm not telling you."
"Well, do you want me to stop?"
You took a second to answer, "No."
For a few minutes, you only walked in comfortable silence before you broke it. "So how long are you staying?" you ask.
"Don't know yet. My brother's wedding is next month so I came back to help with preparations and stuff. But I don't know, might stick around for a while after."
You gasp, "Oh my god, your brother's getting married?? No fucking way, congrats to him."
"Thanks, I'll pass it along," he smiled.
"I bet your mom's excited."
"Yeah, and fortunately for me, it's got her too preoccupied to be any way worried about my dating life," he says. "She still asks me about you, you know. Says she misses you."
"Aw, I miss her too," you pout.
Okay, so maybe you downplayed how close you really were.
From the moment you met, it didn't take much for you to become friends. Once you had realized you went to the same school and were even in some of the same classes, you grew close. Mark introduced you to all his friends, who then became your friends and vice versa. Any time he got word of a meet happening, you were always the first person he texted, saying he was already on his way to come get you. Mark would walk with you after school to your father's garage and let you teach him a few things about fixing up and modifying cars. Your families were both fond of the relationship the two of you had; Mark's inviting you to dinner almost every week, and yours never minding having Mark over for breakfast Saturday mornings.
As you turned down your street, you were then reminded of Mark's last night here. After his going away party, he walked you home just like this for the last time before he left.
"I've missed you too, Mark. Really," you tell him once you reach your house.
You hug him, and he wraps his arms around you. Hugging him now is much different than the last time you had. You had cried into his shirt, squeezing him so tight you didn't want to let him go. And a part of you wished you didn't. But at least letting go this time doesn't hurt as much as it did the last.
"Goodnight, Mark."
"Goodnight," he says.
"I'll be seeing you," you say, making your way up to the door.
"You'll be seeing me," he reassures, waiting for you to enter your house before walking back to Johnny's.
[5:43 PM] SATURDAY
"Can I get a time check?" you ask.
"Almost quarter to 6," Summer answers.
You started cursing under your breath, rushing to apply your mascara.
"Wow, I've never seen you like this?" Nyla says.
"Like what?" you ask, never taking your eyes away from the mirror.
"Nervous to go on a date with a boy," she says teasingly.
"First, I'm not nervous," you point the mascara wand at her, "Second, he's not just some boy," you turn back to your reflection.
You heard your phone vibrate with a notification and looked at the text from Mark.
[5:49 PM] mark:  omw to come get you 
Fuck. And you weren't even dressed yet.
"Shit—okay, maybe I am a little nervous," you left your vanity and threw off your robe to slip into your dress.
"You really like him, don't you?" Nyla asks.
"You don't know the half of it," Summer interjects.
"What is that supposed to mean?" you ask, struggling to zip your dress.
"Bitch, are you for real right now?" Summer deadpans, helping you with the dress, "You were so unbelievably head over heels for him in high school."
"I was not," you defended.
"You and Mark seem to be the only ones who didn't know that," she zips you up.
You couldn't think of anything to say to that, but thankfully you didn't have to anymore once your phone started ringing.
"Hello?"
"I'm outside," Mark's voice filters through the speaker.
"Fuck," you mutter, "Okay, sorry, I'm almost ready," you tell him.
"No worries, I'll still be here."
You hung up and ran around your room, looking through your closet and frantically throwing things out of the way to find your shoes. 
"I literally just saw them. Where the fuck are they?" you say to yourself.
"You mean these?" Nyla pulls the heels from under your bed.
"Thank you," you grab the shoes and slip them on.
"Damn, you look real good," Summer compliments as you finish putting on your jewelry.
"Do I really?" you ask, making sure your hair is sitting just how you want it.
"Hell yeah," Nyla agreed.
"Okay," you take a deep breath, smoothing out the silk draped over your body before leaving your room.
"Have fun!" Nyla yelled after you.
You step out of your house to find Mark leaning against a black Porsche you recognize as one of Jaehyun's instead of his signature red Mitsubishi Evolution. You would be disappointed if he didn't look so good standing next to the car.
Mark pushed himself away from the car when he saw you coming down the steps, completely in awe. Meanwhile, you were just focused on not tripping and stumbling down onto your face.
"Hi," you walk up to him. 
"Hi," he seemed speechless, "You look…shit. I mean, not like that—You just look beautiful."
"Thank you, Mark," you grin, "You're looking pretty fine yourself."
"You know, I try," he smooths out his jacket, "Shall we?" he opens the passenger door for you.
You smile as you step toward the car, Mark taking your hand, helping you in before closing the door and rushing over to the driver's side.
Once you've clicked yourself in with the seatbelt, you look up to see Mark staring at you. "What?"
"Nothing," he clears his throat, pulling off.
You tried not to get too lost in looking at Mark, staring out the window instead, trying to figure out where he was taking you. But then you feel his hand brush against yours when he reaches for the gear lever. You couldn't help it, letting your eyes wander over to him. Curtains of blonde hair hung slightly over his eyes as they were focused on the road. Your eyes drift down to the material perfectly tailored to his broad shoulders, taking note of the color he chose to wear, a deep shade of blue, one of your favorite colors.
"We're here," Marks says, and you snap out of it, looking around to see where he's brought you. Mark exits the car first and comes to open your door for you.
"Mark, you didn't."
"I did," Mark smiled, "Put this on," he handed you a lanyard reading VIP.
"Where the fuck did you get these?" you ask.
He ignores your question and holds his hand out for you instead, "Come on."
You slide your hand into his and follow him toward the entrance.
As Mark leads you to your seats, you realize you're not in the packed sections with the rest of the screaming fans. But instead where most executives, family members of racers, and people with enough money to buy their way into this section were. Your eyes were as wide as continental tires as you sat down. 
"Mark…" now it was your turn to be speechless.
"Does this meet your expectations?" he asks as you look around in awe.
"No," you say, "Definitely surpassed them."
The crowd erupted into cheers as the drivers walked out to their cars.
"Oh my god," you gasp, "It's him."
Kim Jongin, or as he's famously known, Kai, walks out. He brightly smiles at the fans screaming his name and waves into the audience. You're too starstruck to move. And even think your heart has stopped beating when Kai looks in your direction.
"Mark! You made it," Kai walks over to you and Mark.
"Told you I would, man," Mark greets Kai, "I also said I would introduce you to one of the best street racers I know."
Kai looks at you, his smile never faltering as he extends his hand to shake yours.
"Holy shit," is all you can say as you shake his hand, "I'm like a huge fan," you tell Kai.
"So I've been told. I've also heard you put up some serious game out on the track," Kai says before one of his crew members calls him to his car. "I gotta run, but how about you guys stick around after the race and come down to the pit."
You're certain your jaw's already on the floor, in complete disbelief that this is happening right now.
"Yeah, for sure," Mark says.
Kai waves at you one last time before running off to the track, putting on his helmet, and jumping into his car. Once you were out of your trance, you hit Mark's arm.
"Ow!" Mark rubbed his bicep.
"Since when the fuck do you know Kai?" you ask.
"Since Kevin was just getting into the NIRA circuit. I went to one of the digs with him and that was where I met Kai."
You've been following Kai's career practically since it started back when you were a high school freshman. You probably even watched the exact meet Mark was talking about. 
"And you've just been sitting on this piece of information, waiting for what to tell me?"
"For this." Mark answers.
"I can't believe you," you mutter, turning away from him. 
[8:32 PM] 
As Kai tended to the post-race press, you and Mark waited for the first-place winner in the pit. You were busy drooling over what was under the hood of Kai's car while Mark conversed with Shohei, a pit crew member.
"So what do you think?" Kai reappears, asking you.
"I think if I was out there on the track, I'd have a reason to be scared," you say, "An FR9 engine, a nos wet fogger system, and forged pistons," you only list off the components you can see from just taking one look, impressing the racer.
"You really do know your shit," Kai smiles, "I like her," he says to Mark.
"Yeah, me too," Mark smiled at you.
"Wanna take her for a lap?" Kai asks you.
"Me?" you point to yourself, "In this?" then to the car.
"Why not?" Kai shrugs, handing you a helmet.
"She isn't exactly dressed for-" another crew member, Eunseok, started.
But you kick off your heels and grab the helmet, making sure your dress doesn't hike up your legs too high as you slide through the window to get into the race car.
"Man, she's got this," Mark reassures Eunseok as Kai gets in the car with you.
"You good in there?" you hear Mark's voice from inside the helmet.
"You know I'm more than good," you reply.
"And don't I know that for damn sure," you hear the smirk in his voice, "But I've talked you up to pretty much everyone here, so don't embarrass me," he says light-heartedly.
Your barefoot steps on the gas and a smile splits your face as you burn out the tires before accelerating. The wind whipped against your skin as you picked up speed. You felt like you were flying as Kai hysterically egged you on from the passenger seat.
Mark could hear your laughter through the com piece in your helmet, telling you're having the time of your life with the way you round the track. The car roared around the corners, and you felt the G-forces pushing you back into the seat. At the end of the lap, you pulled the car back into the pit, taking the helmet off to catch your breath.
"Now that's what I call driving!" Kai exclaimed as he got out of the car from the passenger side window.
You pulled yourself out of the seat and exited through the window. Mark was right there to help you even though he knew you didn't really need his assistance. You feel Mark's arm around your waist, the other the under your thighs, helping you out of the vehicle and letting you hold onto him to put your shoes back on.
"Between that and everything else I've been told, you better hold onto her, Mark."
"I don't think there's any other choice. She's stuck with me," Mark grabs your hand, "We should probably start leaving now before we're late." Mark says to you, looking at his watch.
"It was good seeing you again, and it truly was an honor to meet you," Kai bowed as he took your hand and kissed your knuckles.
"The honor was all mine. And you know, if you ever need a tune-up, or tires changed or even a buff, my garage always has its door opened for you," you smile.
"I'll keep that in mind," Kai nods with a smile.
"What are we even getting paid for, then?" Seunghan raised his arms.
Once back in the car, Mark weaved through the traffic of spectators leaving the stadium to get on the highway. You didn't notice Mark still holding your hand, only driving with one hand so his fingers could stay intertwined with yours until you reached the restaurant.
[9:41 PM]
"It was just so crazy. To feel that much power in the grips of my hands." you continued. You couldn't help but talk through the entirety of dinner, recounting the events of the night; Mark not minding one bit.
Mark slides his hand closer to yours across the table, taking your hand in his.
You trail off, suddenly losing focus while looking at Mark. Even in the dim candlelight of the restaurant, you can see how Mark's eyes hold the stars as he looks at you.
"You don't have to stop," Mark says, "I like listening to you," he rubs his thumb over the back of your hand.
"And I just like looking at you," you say, "Still think I'm going to wake up from this dream at any moment."
"You dream about me often?" Mark asks teasingly, leaning on the table.
"Oh, Markie," you lean closer too, "You really don't know the half of it, huh?"
"Why don't you tell me then?" Mark says, his eyes falling down to your lips.
"I'd rather show you," you say before kissing him.
You were never one to really be for public displays of affection, but with Mark, here and now, it just felt right.
"I've wanted to do that ever since sophomore year," you tell him once you pull away.
"Deadass?" Mark asks, raising his brows.
You laugh at his stunned expression, "Deadass, Mark."
"So Renjun was right," he mumbles to himself.
"About what?"
"You having a crush on me in high school."
"Seems like you were the only one who didn't know," you shrug.
"Well, don't act like you didn't know I had one on you too," Mark says, and your brows raise, "Wait, really? You didn't know?" he asks.
"Of course, I didn't Mark. How was I supposed to?"
"I don't know. But I mean, it was pretty obvious," Mark says, and you scoff.
You could pretty much say the same to him. 
"God, I'm such an idiot," Mark shakes his head, and you laugh, squeezing his hand. 
"My idiot," you kiss him again.
[11:56 PM]
With the night coming to an end, you feel a slight pang of sorrow as Mark nears your house.
Mark's hand holding yours, squeezes lightly, bringing you out of your thoughts once he's parked on your street. He kissed the back of your hand before exiting the car, opening your door, and helping you out. 
You slide his jacket off your shoulders and hand it back to Mark for him to toss into the backseat.
"So," Mark starts.
"So," you take a step closer to him.
"You can truthfully tell me if it really was the worst date of your life," he said with a smile.
You roll your eyes, "Maybe it wasn't."
"Damn, it does feel good being right."
"The night isn't over. There's still time for my answer to change."
"How much time?"
You look at your phone, "Two minutes and 30 seconds."
Mark was the one to initiate the kiss this time. He placed his hands on your hips and pulled you flush against his body. You allow Mark's tongue to slip into your mouth, and he hums at the taste of your lipgloss mixed with the wine you drank. Mark pulls away so you can both catch your breath, and you rest your forehead against his.
"Well?"
"Well, this has officially been the best date I've been on," you smile.
He lifts your chin, getting you to look at him, and kisses you one last time.
"Goodnight," he says.
"Goodnight, Mark," you begin to walk up your front steps.
"Wait," Mark stops you, "This isn't gonna be a one time thing is it?"
"Do you want it to be?" you ask.
"No."
"Okay. You'll be seeing me, Mark."
"I'm counting on it."
Walking up to your door, you see the movement of the curtains in the window and shake your head as you put in your key. As expected, the moment you enter your house, you're met with Nyla and Summer waiting for you.
"Date must've gone well," Summer says.
"What makes you say so?" you ask.
"That was pretty intense between you two out on the steps, and you're still grinning like an idiot," Nyla tells you.
"I am not," you deny with said grin still plastered on your face.
[1:34 PM] MONDAY
Mark steps onto the front porch, joining the rest who were outside. He finds you among them in Johnny's driveway, working on Jungwoo's car.
"Whatcha doing?" Mark asks, approaching you.
"Jungwoo says it doesn't sound right so I'm trying to adjust the cylinders and change the air pressure intake," you say.
You might as well have been wearing an expensive white dress and standing at an altar with the way Mark's looking at you. Mark watches as you carefully maneuver your way around the engine, sure not to interfere with anything valuable.
"Try that," you tell Jungwoo, who was sitting behind the wheel.
Jungwoo started his car and revved up the engine a few times, the loud roar sounding like music to your ears. You smile, satisfied, and close the hood of the car.
"You are an angel, you know that," Jungwoo says, appreciatively kissing your cheek before wandering off.
"Yeah, I know," you smile, turning to Mark, "Hi."
"Hi." you notice Mark lick his lips as he eyes you.
"What?"
"Nothing. That was just kinda hot," Mark tells you.
"Yeah? All this sweat and grease really doing it for you?" you joke, wiping your hands with a rag.
"You're definitely doing it for me," Mark says, pulling you toward him by your waist.
Mark kisses you, and you practically melt against his lips. You have to fight the urge to run your fingers through his hair, waiting until you properly wash your hands. You circle your arms around his neck instead, but things don't get too heated as your phone starts ringing.
"You mind?" you ask Mark. He hands you your phone, and you step away to take the call. 
"Everything okay?" Mark asks as you return to him.
"Yeah," you tell him before turning to everyone in the front yard, "So, how many of you love me enough to come swing by the garage with me?" you sweetly smile at your friends.
You aren't given a direct answer, but they all move from their spots and start getting into their cars, Mark following you to yours and riding with you.
. . .
You knew signing for the delivery wouldn't have taken long, but no one seemed to be in a rush to leave as they all busied themselves around the autobody shop. 
"Damn I really have missed this place," Mark says, looking around with a soft smile. 
"You know you've been equally missed," you tell him.
"Say it ain't so. Mark Lee, is that you?" you hear your dad's voice behind you.
"Yes, sir," Mark extends his arm to shake your dad's hand.
You try to continue focusing on the paperwork in front of you as the two exchange small talk before your dad mentions having Mark over for dinner.
"Oh, I couldn't impose-" Mark started.
"It wasn't imposing before, and it still isn't now," your dad says, "Your mom would love to have him over for dinner," he says to you.
"She would," you agree.
"Great, come over next Wednesday," he tells Mark before Soojin pulls your dad away to deal with a customer.
"Come with me," you round the desk and take Mark's hand. 
Mark follows your lead through the shop as you take him to where some of your friends congregated around Shotaro's station. 
"Hey, Taro. You busy?" you ask, getting his attention.
"Not really," Shotaro says. 
"Mark, this is Shotaro. Shotaro, this is Mark." you introduce them.
The Sagittarius' eyes widen as he extends his hand to Mark, "Holy shit, I've seen you race. You're like a god."
"Wow, thank-" Mark begins.
"Alright, I wouldn't say all that," you say.
"Have you seen him drive?" Shotaro asks.
"Of course, he's the only person that can keep up with me. But he usually never beats me over that line," you say with half a smirk.
Shotaro's brows furrow, "Wait, you race?"
Having only been working here a few months, you don't blame Shotaro for not knowing.
"I don't as much as I used to," you say.
"This isn't the first time I've heard this. Why is that?" Mark asks.
You shrug. "I don't know. I guess between school and helping manage this place I kinda lost my enthusiasm about it," you look down at the spare tire on the ground, softly kicking it, suddenly feeling everyone's eyes on you, "And it kinda just wasn't the same without you."
Mark looks as if he's endeared by what you've said. But you clear your throat and quickly change the subject.
"But anyway, how did the dry system hold up?" You ask Shotaro.
"Pretty good. Better than my last one," Shotaro tells you, lifting the hood of his car.
"Holy shit, where did you find these parts?" Mark asks as a few of you gather around the automobile. 
"Only knew one place to find them. So I had them imported from Yokohama," Shotaro says.
"Shotaro, you're definitely riding with us to race wars," Hendery says. 
"You guys are going too?" Shotaro asks.
"Yeah. Actually, speaking of, how many of us are going to race wars?" Jaehyun asks.
You and Mark used to talk about going to race wars all the time but never got the chance to when you were in high school because your parents would never let you. And by the time you were able to go, Mark wasn't there to be with you, so it just didn't have the same feeling without him.
"Pretty sure all of us here. Probably the rest of the others, too," Jeno says.
"Mark, you're coming?" Jisung asks.
"When is it?" Mark asks.
"It's supposed to be the beginning of next month, but the exact date and location haven't been posted yet. I'll let you know once I find out," Jaemin says.
"Okay," Mark nods, "As long as it doesn't interfere with my brother's wedding, I'll go."
"You could always not go?" Chenle jokes.
"Dude, he's my brother, and I'm the best man."
Everyone now turns their attention to Mark.
"What the fuck? Since when?" Ten asks.
"Since I found out my brother was engaged," Mark answers.
"So you just don't tell anyone shit around here anymore?" you joke.
Mark playfully rolls his eyes, poking his cheek with his tongue.
God, why is he so hot. 
You curl your arms around his, "Mark, you have to come. We've always wanted to go together," you pout.
"I know, I know," Mark holds your hand, "If I can, I will. I promise."
That was good enough for you for now.
"Okay."
[6:50 PM] THURSDAY
"Hello?" you answer the phone.
"You still at the garage?" Mark asks.
"Yeah, but I'm about to leave in a few minutes."
"Wanna come over to my place? Watch a movie and maybe drink this bottle of wine I have sitting in front of me."
"I'll need to go home and shower first. I'm all sweaty and greasy," you say.
"I don't really mind. Sweat, grease, and all."
"Well, I do. So I'll be over in an hour."
Mark kisses his teeth, "Fine."
[8:02 PM] 
Pulling up to Mark's house, you don't know why you expected it to be any different than how you remember it. But it was the same color and layout and even still had the dent in the garage door from when Yuta accidentally backed into it.
Mark answers the door wearing an old t-shirt, shorts, and glasses. Those goddamn glasses. 
"Hi," Mark smiles at you.
"Hi," you step into the house, allowing Mark to pull you in for a kiss. "You miss me or something?" you ask.
"Guess you can say that."
Slipping off your shoes and jacket, you follow Mark into the living room.
"Your parents here?" you ask.
"Nah, they went with my brother to meet the future in-laws," Mark answers. "You want a glass?" he points to the wine bottle sitting on the table.
"Yes, please," you sigh, collapsing onto the couch.
"Long day?"
"Yeah, but it's nothing I'm not used to." you take the wineglass he hands you.
Mark listens to you go on about your day after he asks, only briefly interrupted when he goes to answer the door for the delivery of the food you didn't even know he ordered. After eating your fill of pizza, you continue to watch the movie. You notice how much closer you are now than when you first arrived. You went from sitting right next to Mark to being seated between his legs, your back against his chest.
"Now, I gotta ask, who's your favorite?"
"Spider-man? Garfield for sure. I love the other two but The Amazing Spider-Man has a special place in my heart," you hold your hand over your chest.
"You were supposed to say me," Mark grumbles, rolling his eyes.
You laugh, turning to him, "Mark, you only dressed up once senior year, and that's cause you lost a bet."
"But you can't say I don't make a good Peter Parker," he says.
"Only if I can be your MJ," you joke.
Mark closes the space between you, softly pressing his lips to yours. Having seen No Way Home enough times opening weekend, you didn't mind Mark distracting you from the rest of the movie. You reposition yourself to straddle him and bring your lips back to his. The hands Mark has on your hips move down to cup your ass. Then you start laughing.
"Sorry, did I overstep?" Mark asks, moving his hands away.
"No, you didn't. It's just..nothing, sorry," you apologize. 
You start kissing him, cupping his face before you feel his two hands on your ass again, unable to stop the giggles bubbling in your throat.
"What?" Mark can't help but laugh now. 
"I'm sorry. I just can't stop thinking about your hands on my ass."
"What's so funny about that?" he asks.
"Nothing. It's just, I can't believe my best friend, Mark Lee, is kissing me with his hands on my ass," you cover your eyes, trying to explain. You shake your head, trying not to overthink this too much. "I swear I'm not laughing at you. I'm just nervous, I guess."
"What for?"
"Because it's you," you say, peaking at him through your fingers.
"I make you that nervous, baby?" Mark pulls your hands away from your face with a crooked smile. 
Is he trying to make you spontaneously combust?? 
"Maybe," you answer.
"Think I can do something to change that," he says, "Come here," he juts his chin toward you, signaling you to kiss him.
You let all thoughts fade away as you leaned into Mark. You grab the sides of his face, pressing your lips to him.
Mark keeps his hands off you until he can practically feel the desperation in your body, letting your hands roam all over him.
Feeling Mark's hands slide up your thighs to your ass made you softly moan into his mouth as he pressed you into his groin.
"Mark…" you breathe shakily.
"You need something?"
"Yeah, you."
You could hear your heart banging against your chest like a drum as you followed Mark up the stairs to his room, your hand in his.
Entering his room, you can see it hasn't changed much either. The same posters are still on the walls, his guitar sitting in its designated corner by his bed, and the small piles of clothes scattered over the floor. You didn't have the chance to get a good look at much else as Mark's lips were back on yours once he closed the door.
The backs of your legs hit the edge of his bed before you fall down onto it. Mark looks down at you lying on his bed, tongue darting out to wet his dry lips, taking his glasses off, and tossing them onto the bed. Mark grabs one of your legs, making space between them for himself, bringing his lips back to yours. Once he starts kissing your neck, you know you're already done for. 
"Mark, please," you arch into his touch.
"What, baby?"
"Touch me."
"I am touching you," he smirks, nipping at your jaw.
"God, since when were you such a fucking tease," you say, making him laugh.
"You mean here?" he asks, cupping your sex.
"Mhm," you tug your teeth between your teeth, nodding.
Mark looks into your eyes as he undoes the string of your sweatpants, making sure this is okay. When you don't tell him to stop, Mark slips his hand into your pants, pressing his fingers to the damp cotton, still acting as a barrier, keeping you from what you want.
"You this wet for me, princess?"
You shutter at his use of the pet name, "Yes."
"Mmm," he hums, watching your body react to the smallest of his touches. Mark then pulls your underwear to the side and teases your silt with his middle finger. Your jaw drops, silently moaning when you feel one of his fingers breach your walls. 
"Damn, baby, you're soaking for me," Mark smirks against your navel, moving your shirt out of his way as he kisses his way up your stomach.
"Mark, don't say things like that," you whine.
"Why?"
"Cause it's turning me on even more," you roll your hips into his hand.
"That doesn't sound like a reason to stop to me," he stopped kissing your skin once he reached your sternum, "Do you want me to stop?"
"No."
"Good. I'm only getting started," Mark pulls his hand away.
Before you could even protest, Mark's tugging your sweats down your legs, your panties along with them, getting you to lift your hips so he could throw them to the floor. You watch Mark lower himself to his knees on the floor before the bed, directing each of your legs over his shoulders. He softly kisses your inner thighs, nipping your sensitive skin between his teeth.
Mark pulls you closer to his face, looking up at you with eyes blown wide with lust. You try to keep your composure when Mark's tongue licks a fat stripe up your slit. Mark moans at the taste of you, and holds your legs apart as he buries his head between your thighs. Your small whimpers gradually grow into cries of Mark's name as he brings his fingers back to your core, slowly sinking two digits into your pussy.
"Fuck, that feels so good," you comb your fingers through his hair as he catches your clit between his lips.
Your back arches into the air, and you tug harshly on his roots, making him groan into your pussy. Mark's middle and ring finger curl against your velvety walls, moving in a come hither motion once he finds your sweet spot. Between the movements of his head and his fingers pumping in and out of you, you can feel the coil in your stomach tighten.
"Mark.." you sharply moan, "P-Please, don't stop," you beg.
Mark could feel his shorts growing uncomfortably tight the more he heard you moan and felt your pussy flutter around his fingers.
"You wanna cum for me, pretty girl?"
"Yes, Mark, please."
If your eyes didn't flutter shut, you would've caught the smirk on his face before he attacked your clit with his tongue.
At this point, you're no longer able to form full sentences. Mark's mouth makes you lose your senses and every coherent thought you have.
Mark's fingers dig into the plush of your thighs, keeping you from squirming too much as he eats you out like a man feasting after days of starving. 
"Oh my god!" your eyes roll back, "M'gonna cum," you warn through a whimper.
Mark never let up. The pace of his fingers picking up and his tongue flicking against your sensitive bundle of nerves had your toes curling. Your legs closed around his head once your orgasm hit you. Your cries and trembling legs went unnoticed by Mark as he was too enamored with the feeling and taste of you in his mouth.
"Mark, Mark, Mark," you whine, softly pushing his head away.
You open your eyes to find Mark with his fingers in his mouth, licking your slick off them. Even through your fatigue, seeing him with messy hair from you pulling on it and his face glistening with your juices reignited your insatiable desire for him.
"You okay?"
"Okay? Am I okay?" you raise a brow, "Mark, I can't remember the last time someone made me cum like that from just going down on me," you throw your arm over your eyes, still coming down from your high.
"I'm glad to be of service, then," he moves your arm away, kissing you.
You tangle your fingers in his hair, moaning around his tongue when it clashes with your own, tasting yourself on his lips.
You flip Mark onto the bed without breaking the kiss, and he rests his hands on your thighs, roughly kneading your flesh. You hum, feeling his hard clothed cock resting between your folds, Mark grabbing your ass to get you to roll your hips into his, letting a sound that closely resembles a whine climb up his throat.
Mark chases after your lips when you pull away, opening his eyes to see you admiring him.
"You're so pretty, Mark," you say, softly brushing his hair out of his eyes, and you swear you heard a whimper slip from his swollen lips.
Mark blushes, turning away from you so you don't notice. But you do. You grab his jaw, making him look at you, and pull him close enough, your lips to ghost over his.
"My pretty boy," you kiss his lips.
His cock stirs beneath you as you kiss your way down his neck. You tug on the collar of his shirt, getting Mark to pull it over his head, throwing it to the floor next to your clothes. You run your hand down his toned chest, a light trail of hair on his lower stomach disappearing into his shorts.
"Can I?" you ask, hooking your finger in the waistband of his shorts.
"Yeah," Mark nods.
Once his pants are off, you're both left in only one piece of clothing; his boxers and your shirt.
You kneel between his legs while Mark sits back on his hands, just watching you. Resting your hand on his leg, you softly squeeze his thigh before slowly sliding over to the bulge in his underwear. Palming the outline of his heavy cock has Mark tilting his head back, but not too much so he can still watch you as you waste no more time and release his dick from its confinements.
Your eyes widen, and the corners of your lips twitch, seeing his cock spring free, lightly slapping against his lower stomach. Precum dribbles from his slit and your mouth practically waters. You wrap your fingers around his length, smearing the beads of precum with your thumb. His cock twitches in your grasp, a raspy groan falling from his lips and shooting straight to your core.
"Mark, please tell me you have a condom somewhere in this house," you look at him through your lashes.
"Second drawer," he nods to his nightstand.
"Were you stocking up for this?" you ask, finding the industrial-sized box.
"No," Mark laughs, "Donghyuck 'gifted' that to me after our first date."
"Now, why would he do that?" you ask, straddling his thigh.
You already know your friend can have a perverted way of thinking, but you wanted to hear Mark's reasoning.
"Cause I couldn't stop talking about you in that fucking dress," he grips your waist, "Let's just say it was a lot harder to keep my gentlemanly manners than I thought it would be that night."
"As much as I appreciated the consideration," you say, "I wore that dress hoping you would've taken it off me," you lean into his ear.
"Fuck me," Mark groans under his breath and digs his fingers into your hips.
You grin, kissing him. Since you're distracted, Mark snatches the condom from your hand and pushes you onto your back. He sits back on his haunches, brushing his hair out of his eyes, and tears the package with his teeth before rolling the latex on and pumping his cock in his hands a few times.
Laying there with your hair splayed out on the pillows, your bottom lip between your teeth, and your thighs desperately itching to rub together at the sight of the man before you, Mark slowly begins losing his grip on any sort of restraint he has left. Mark wraps his arms under your thighs, pulling your hips closer to his. You can feel yourself growing wetter by the second as Mark keeps his eyes locked with yours, rubbing the tip of his cock between your folds. 
"Mark, please," your voice was barely above a whisper, yet Mark still heard the traces of desperation. 
The blunt head of his cock presses against your slit before being enveloped by your slick pussy. He takes his time easing into you as your walls open up for him.
"Oh, god—Mark," you choke out, feeling the way you have to adjust to his size.
"I know, I know, baby," Mark coos, "It's okay. Just relax for me," he soothed his hand up and down your leg.
You nod, and Mark starts kissing your neck. Your eyes flutter shut, your head tipping back to give him more access to mark up the side of your throat. As Mark sinks his teeth into your skin and can feel how incredibly wet you become, your pussy practically sucking him the rest of the way in.
"How're you doing, princess?" Mark kisses his way back up your neck. 
"Fuck, Mark, you feel so big," you roll your head back onto his pillow. Mark smiles, peppering your face with kisses while whispering sweet praises. 
"Let's just take it slow then, okay," he says, slowly drawing his hips back.
The feeling of his cock dragging against your walls as he slowly left your heat, only to fill you up again, had your eyes rolling back. 
"I feel so…you make me feel so—Full," you stumble over your words, moaning. 
The chuckle that leaves his lips leads a new wave of arousal to flood through your body and clench around him.
"And you're doing so good for me," he kisses your jaw. Mark continues slowly moving his hips, using deep sensual strokes to fuck you. Now fully submerged in pleasure, you beg Mark for more.
Mark grabs your leg hooked around his hip and begins picking up his rhythm. Bringing his eyes down to where your bodies were connected, he watches his dick disappear between your folds. Mark's shallow pants slowly transition into broken whimpers. You're just barely holding on, and Mark continues coaxing you closer to the edge.
"You're making me feel so good, Mark," you tell him.
Mark tries to conceal his noises, burying his head in your neck, but you disapprove. 
"Come on, Markie," you direct his face to look at you, "I wanna hear you, pretty boy," you grin, running your thumb along his bottom lip.
"Fuck~" he whines.
"Don't stop, baby, m'so close," you say.
"M-Me too—fuck, you feel so good," his voice fluctuates.
"S'all for you, pretty boy," you tell him, and you almost cum from his whimpers alone.
"God, stop calling me that," Mark pants, screwing his eyes shut.
"Why?" you smirk, bringing your fingers beneath his chin to make him look at you.
Damp strands of blonde hair hung in his face as he opened his lust-filled eyes, "I won't be able to last any longer," he answers.
"You gonna cum for me, Mark?" you roll your hips into his, making him deeply groan.
Mark holds your jaw with one hand, keeping intimate eye contact as he repeatedly thrusts into you. He runs his thumb along your bottom lip before pushing his finger into your mouth, and you eagerly accept.
"Not until you cum for me first," he says, sliding his thumb out of your mouth and bringing it to your clit.
"Oh—fuck, Mark, please," you cry.
Mark lowers himself to kiss you, muffling both of your sweet noises.
You frantically search for something to grab onto, finding Mark's shoulders first as you cum. Your pussy clamps around his cock, sending Mark into his own orgasm. Soft, breathy moans fill your ears as Mark's hips stutter, and he fills the condom with his cum.
"Holy shit," he drops his head to your shoulder.
You softly run your fingers through the strands of his sweaty hair as he kisses your damp skin. Pressing his lips to the side of your neck, Mark finds your lips meeting in a lazy kiss.
"Wait here," he tells you, the huskiness of his voice sending a shiver down your spine.
You whimper as he slips his cock out of the pulsating warmth of your pussy, leaving you clenching around nothing.
After tossing the condom into the trash and slipping his boxers back on, you watch Mark shuffle out of the room. He returns with a wet cloth, pulling your legs apart and wiping away the stickiness clinging to your folds.
"Are you okay?" Mark asks. 
"Yeah."
"You're very quiet," he lays down next to you. 
"I'm thinking," you say, turning in his direction. 
"About?"
"You," you answer, "There's no going back after this, Mark."
"Are you okay with that?"
"Am I?" you smile, "I'm not saying that cause I regret this, Mark. I'm saying this as a warning cause it'll be harder for you to get rid of me now," you wrap your arms around him and kiss his cheek. 
Mark laughs, resting his hands on your lower back. "I can't image I would ever want to anyway," he kisses you.
[9:43 PM] SATURDAY 
"No one even knew Yuta was back in town until today, how did so many people find out?" Summer says as your car nears the entrance to the parking garage.
It had taken you nearly ten minutes to move up in the line of cars that had formed. You're just glad you got here when you did, considering that the line was now streaming down the street.
Since Yuta had sent out the location at practically the last minute, you weren't expecting the dig to have this big of a turnout. You don't even know how Yuta set it up, but since the renovations to the parking garage weren't nearly finished yet, it was closed off from the rest of the public. Which meant for you, it was the perfect place for races to be conducted without having to worry about any civilians.
You finally reach the barrier gate where Yunho and Changbin are standing post.
"Hey, Sunny," Changbin says to Summer.
"Hi, Binnie," she sweetly smiles as she hands him the money for the entry fee, "I'll see you in there?" she asks.
"Yeah," Changbin smiles, "You're good to go, y/n." he nods to you.
"Okay, what the fuck was that?" Nyla asks Summer as you start following the cars down to the underground level.
"What?" Summer asks.
"You and Binnie?" You raise your brows, "When did that start?"
"It's nothing. We're just friends."
You and Nyla share a glance in your rearview mirror. "Sure, whatever you say," Nyla drops it.
Just as you reach the bottom level, you see Haechan driving in the opposite direction, and you roll down your window to talk to him. 
"Where are you guys going, we just got here?" you ask Haechan.
"Damien called Jaemin out," Hyuck tells you, "Come on," he waves at you to follow him.  
You tail Haechan's car up to the third level and easily find a few more of your friends, or rather their cars, knowing they're somewhere close by. Parking between Jungwoo and Xiaojun's cars, you gravitate toward the cluster of your friends, spotting a mop of silky jet-black hair among them.  
"Yuta!" you walk up with open arms to be embraced in a hug.
"I know I was only gone for two weeks but seems like I've missed a lot anyway," Yuta says, "So, where is lover boy Mark?"
"He's on his way," you say. 
"I can't believe it took all these years for you two to finally get together," he teased.
"I'm starting to get tired of hearing this," you roll your eyes playfully. 
"Well, it's true. You two were so ridiculously down bad for one another," Yuta teases, and you lightly hit his arm.
More people begin filling in as they anticipate the race about to go down. Jaemin's car sits at the starting point, along with Damien's. Now the only thing you're left waiting for is Johnny, Yangyang, Hendery, and Jaehyun to set up their positions around the so-called track.
"Fuck this," your impatience gets the best of you, and you snatch the walkie-talkie from Chenle's back pocket, "Are we ready?" you ask.
"Track's all clear, we're good to go," Johnny responds to you. 
Once you have confirmation from all five groups, you take the lead and stand in front of the cars. 
"You guys already know the rules. It's five levels from here to the top. Whoever makes it there first, wins," you clarify, "Ready?" you ask Jaemin and Damien. 
They both nod and you motion for them to inch their cars up just a bit so their bumpers line up exactly. You raise your hands, and the crowd begins cheering as both cars rev up. You drop your arms, and you're engulfed in the smoke their burnouts left behind as the cars whipped past you. As everyone else runs for the elevator and stairs to get to the rooftop before Jaemin and Damien do, there's only one person not moving along with the herds of people, walking toward you instead.
"You're probably the hottest race marshal I've ever seen," Mark says as you turn on your heels, almost crashing right into him.
"Mark," your face splits into a smile, cupping his face and kissing his lips.
"Miss me, baby?" he asks with a chuckle.
"Yeah, pretty boy," you tease.
Mark kisses you again, firmly keeping one hand on your lower back.
"Hey! Y'all can suck faces later, but get your asses in here now!" Summer yells from the elevator. 
Remembering the race, you grab Mark's hand, run into the elevator, and head for the top floor. 
Since Yangyang and Jaehyun were exclusively live-streaming the entire race for people to watch from the different levels they were on, everyone's eyes were glued to their phones, waiting for Jaemin and Damien to reach the top. You all watch from Jisung's phone as Jaemin takes the lead once he passes Ten on the sixth floor, drifting the turn up to the seventh, and you smile proudly since you had been the one who taught him how to in the first place.
You can hear the tires screeching and the deep resonance of the engines making their way up each floor. Hitting one last turn and perfectly timing his gear shift, Jaemin drifts his car up the ramp. The cheers of the crowd were deafening as everyone celebrated Jaemin's win, even himself, with a few victory donuts.
You would've been right there alongside everyone else, congratulating Jaemin on his win if Mark hadn't used this chance while everyone was distracted and not paying attention to either of you.
Your back meets a concrete wall with a soft thud while Mark's lips attack yours.
"What's with you, Markie?" You ask.
A low groan rumbles in his chest, "You're just so…fucking beautiful."
"Thank you, baby," you kiss his nose.
"Hey, Mark!" someone calls him, "How about you lay off your girl for a bit and let us see if you're still the big shot you thought you were in high school," Sean says.
You turn to Sean with your brows raised. The only thing holding you back from wiping that snarky grin off his face is Mark's arm still wrapped around you.
Mark's entire demeanor was calm as he nodded at Sean, "Alright. Me and you, right now," Mark says.
You follow Mark back down to the ground floor to get his car, riding with him. He holds your hand the entire drive back up to the third level, where spectators had already lined the pathway, expecting the next race.
"Do I really need to wish you luck?" you ask Mark as you look over at Sean overconfidently revving up his engine.
"I know I can take him. But I'd still appreciate it from you."
"Baby, you got this," you kiss his lips.
Mark watches as you sit back and lift your hips, reaching under your skirt to pull your panties down your legs. You hand the bunched-up lace to Mark, leaning over to his ear. "But just hold onto these just in case. Your good luck charm," you smirk.
Mark chuckles as he shoves your underwear into his pocket, looking over at you with a smile playing on his lips. "You just wait until I can get you alone," Mark pulls you in for one last kiss before you get out of his car.
You join everyone else on the sidelines as Yuta riles the crowd up. Mark looks over at you and winks. Yuta raises his arms, and Sean dramatically burns out his tires while Mark comfortably sits back in his seat. With him looking so relaxed, settling into his element behind the wheel makes heat pool in your lower stomach. Subtly pressing your thighs together, you begin to regret handing over your underwear, feeling the warmth between your legs.
"Go!" Yuta yells, and both cars take off. Summer grabs your hand, leading you to the elevator to head back up to the top floor.
As you all wait for Mark and Sean's cars to near the final level, the door to the stairwell swings open, and Nyla trudges through, making her way over to you all.
"Why're you out of breath?" Jeno asks, receiving a glare from Nyla.
"Jae and I were on the fourth floor, and those steps.." she gasps, "are no joke." Once she finally catches her breath, Nyla tells you, "I left my bag in your car, I need your keys."
You reach into your skirt pocket and pluck out your keys, handing them to Nyla before she heads for the elevator. Turning your attention back to the race, you recognize the sound of Mark's engine, and you smile as his car drifts up the ramp, beating Sean. Mark's tires screech against the pavement before he takes his foot off the gas and gets out of his car. The crowd rushes Mark, celebrating his win, you along with them.
"I told you you had him," you say to Mark.
"I'll say it was your good luck charm that secured it," he smirked.
But all the celebrating is cut short when you see people running before you hear the sirens making their way up the levels of the garage, and Mark instinctively grabs your hand.
"And I think that's our cue," Renjun grabs his drink and gets into Jeno's car.
It's hard to tell which direction the sirens are coming from as the sound bounces off every surface in the open space.
"Get in," Mark says to you, Summer, and Jisung.
You trust Nyla enough with your car to not even be concerned about it and jump into the passenger seat. Mark wastes no time shifting into drive once you're all inside and starts looking for an escape route. He avoids the exit everyone else was trying to leave from as a traffic jam starts building up, and people honking their horns isn't helping to get things moving.
"Is that Chenle?" you hear Summer ask from the backseat. You then turn your head to see the blue and red lights shadowing Chenle's silhouette as he runs toward Mark's car.
"Dude, come on!" Jisung yells to Chenle, opening the door.
Chenle dives head-first into the back seat, throwing himself across Summer and Jisung's laps.
"Go, go, go!" Chenle exclaims. Mark presses his foot on the gas and begins speeding away.
Finally finding a clear exit, Mark floors it before yanking his e-break as a police car turns the corner. You hear the cops' megaphone telling Mark to stop driving and for all of you to get out of the vehicle.
"Mark," you call him warily.
"I know," he shifts gears, "Hold on," he says, reversing the car, looking through the rear windshield over his shoulder, and putting his hand behind the headrest of your seat.
Mark expertly drives his car backward, turning the wheel with one hand, and the police continue to chase after you before Mark reaches another exit. Ending up back on the city streets, you lose the police tail, and you feel a sigh of relief throughout the entire car.
"Yeah I'm with her, Mark, Chenle, and Jisung," you hear Summer say. "Ningning's with Nyla and they have your car," she tells you as she's on the phone.
"Thank god. Tell them to bring it to Johnny's."
"They're already on their way."
Mark's car drives up to Johnny's house around the same time everyone else arrives. Just like always, the party goes on as if nothing had happened. Summer, Jisung, and Chenle get out of the car, Chenle already retelling the events of what just happened to Yangyang and Haechan when they meet in the front yard.
You and Mark don't get out yet, the two of you just silently holding each other's gaze. Mark had one hand lazily thrown over the wheel, sitting back in his seat as he eyed you.
"Mark, get out of the car," you tell him.
"Why?" Mark asks.
"Between the way you just handled that and the way you're looking at me right now, I can't promise I can hold myself back any longer."
Mark's eyes drift down from your face, tugging his lip between his teeth. The corners of his lips curl up as he takes his car out of park. Mark pulls his car into Johnny's garage, and the party fades into a dull hum once the door shuts. You and Mark are now alone, only in the presence of the other dormant vehicles in the garage. 
Mark turns his car off, and you push yourself out of your seat, leaning over the console to kiss him. Mark's hand blindly fumbles with the seat adjuster to move his seat back and allow you to climb into his lap. 
"What's gotten into you?" Mark asks, smiling against your lips. 
"You," you card your fingers through the soft blonde curls, "Mark, you're just so..hot," you roll your hips into his. Mark's hands slide up your thighs, slipping under your skirt. You can already feel the wetness dripping onto Mark's jeans, the rough material deliciously dragging against your clit. You moan around Mark's tongue, and he grips your body tighter. You accidentally lean against the wheel, hitting the horn, startling yourself and Mark.
Mark laughs along with you, "Backseat?"
"Backseat," you nod before climbing into the back of his car.
Now with more room, you grab Mark and comfortably settle in his lap. You feel the bulge in his jeans against your inner thigh and roll your hips into his. Mark's head falls back against the window, and you take the opportunity to kiss his neck. Mark's eyes flutter shut as you cradle the back of his head and sink your teeth into his skin. The moan that falls from his lips causes you to get wetter.
"Mark?"
"Yeah, baby?"
"Can I?" you ask, slipping your hand between your bodies and palming him through his pants.
"Yeah."
You slide out of his lap and quickly undo the button of his jeans. You waste no time trying to get his clothes off and just pull his cock out of his underwear, your mouth already salivating.
"Oh, Mark," you clench your thighs together, "You're so pretty."
His breathing becomes shallow as he says, "Thank you."
"You're welcome, baby," you kiss the tip of his cock before kitten-licking the drips of precum leaking down his shaft.
Mark sharply gasps, and the grin on your face grows bigger. You let spit dribble out of your mouth and onto his dick to assist your hand, jerking him. You wrap your lips around the sensitive tip, slowly sucking him into your mouth. Mark softly groans, placing his hand on your head. He brushes your hair out of the way so he can see your face.
"My god, look at you," he swipes a string of spit hanging from your lips when you come up for air. You playfully bite his thumb before taking his cock back into your mouth.
Hearing Mark's heavy breathing slowly turn into breathy whimpers encourages you to take more of him down your throat. You feel one of Mark's hands sliding down your back, flipping your skirt over your ass. He dips a finger into your pussy, humming approvingly when he feels how wet you are.
You are grateful his windows were tinted well past the legal limit just in case someone drunkenly stumbled into the garage.
"You get this wet from just sucking my dick, princess?" Mark smirks as he plays with your folds. "Such a dirty dirty girl," he calls you, making you moan around his cock and clench around his fingers. You lose focus and drop your head to his thigh.
"Mark," you whine as he curls his two fingers against your soft walls.
"Come on, baby," he strokes your head, "You're doing so good for me."
You slide his cock back into your mouth upon his words, swirling your tongue around the tip. Mark rests his head against the foggy window and utters soft praises between moans.
You smile, "You sound so pretty for me, Mark,"
"Feels so good," he tells you.
"Gonna cum for me, pretty boy?"
"Yes."
You ignore the burn in your arm and pump his cock faster in your hand. "Cum for me, Mark. I know you want to."
"I do, I do—fuck—I do," his voice cracks.
Your name mixed with his moans, had you dripping down your thighs. You bob your head to the same rhythm as your hand. Mark's thighs twitch, and he bucks his hips against your face. You feel the warmth filling your mouth as Mark cums. Waiting until you feel his cock soften against your tongue, you pull yourself off him and swallow his cum.
"Fuck," he sighs, "You're so good to me."
"Anything for my pretty boy," you kiss him.
Mark grabs the back of your neck, deepening the kiss. He pushes his tongue past your lips, tasting the lingering saltiness in your mouth. Mark pulls you back on top of him to straddle his thigh. You start grinding your hips against his denim-clad leg.
"As much as I like having you beneath me I think I like seeing you on top of me more," Mark says, looking up at you. "That feel good, princess?" he asks, purposely flexing his thigh.
"Yes," you whimper.
"You that desperate, you gotta fuck yourself on my thigh like this?"
"For you, yes," you tell him.
Mark cups your ass beginning to direct your movements as he holds eye contact with you. You can't take it anymore and bury your head in his neck. "What's wrong, baby?"
"I'm gonna cum," you mumble against his throat.
"Already?" he teases. Mark pulls your face out of the crook of his neck. "Let me see your pretty face when you cum for me."
"Mark," you grab onto his shoulders.
"Yeah, sweetheart? Say my name."
"Mark, please."
You throw your head back, squeezing your eyes shut and digging your manicured nails into Mark's skin.
"That's it, baby. That's my good girl," he rubs his hands up your thighs, and you continue to ride out your high.
You slump against Mark's body, and he holds you close, rubbing his hand up and down your back.
"That was so hot." Mark says.
You smile into the kiss, "The things you do to me, Mark Lee."
You hear a knock on the door, and Mark rolls down the window just a crack to see who it is.
"Yes?" you say to Johnny, standing outside the car.
"In my garage? Really?" Johnny placed his hands on his hips like a disappointed father.
"It's my car," Mark says.
"In my garage."
"Jesus, here he goes."
"We'll be out in a sec." you say to Johnny before rolling the window back up.
"I'm not finished with you yet," Mark says as he buttons up his jeans.
"Neither am I," You grab his hand as you exit the garage and head toward the house, "And I mean…Johnny does have four other spare bedrooms," you say, and Mark smirks at you, following you into the house.
[11:25 PM] WEDNESDAY 
"Are you sure you like it?" Mark asks you for what seems like the fifth time tonight.
"Mark, why would I lie to you?" you ask.
"I don't know, you just seemed to love the blonde so much," he says, running his fingers through his silky dark hair.
Knowing Mark was planning on dying his hair back before his brother's wedding and seeing how his roots started to grow, you should've expected the change sooner rather than later. But still, you were surprised when he showed up at your parent's house for dinner, and you answered the door to find the brunette instead of the blonde you were expecting.
"Yeah, but you're still pretty, babe," you comb your fingers through his hair, making him lean into your touch.
"Thank you," he sheepishly smiles, lowering his head, attempting to hide the blush from the others rather than you. "So, I have a question for you," Mark says.
"What is it?" you ask.
"How would you like to-"
"Race wars date and location just dropped," Jaemin announces, standing from his seat.
With all of you sitting around the living room, you all wait for Jaemin to tell you.
"Well, are you gonna tell us?" Jeno asks impatiently.
"Not with that attitude," Jaemin scoffs. He clears his throat as if he's making an official announcement, stating the location before saying the date, "It starts next Friday-"
"Next Friday? Like the Friday after this one?" Mark asks.
"That is…what next Friday means?" Jaemin says.
"Mark, no," you start.
"I'm sorry," Mark looks at you apologetically.
"Wait, what?" Nyla asks.
"My brother's wedding is next Friday."
"Couldn't you just come afterwards?" Johnny asks.
"Not with that long ass drive. I know I'm good, but I'm not that good."
You were wracking your brain for every possible scenario you can come up with so that Mark would be able to go with you.
"I don't know if I'm the only one thinking this but why can't you just come down Saturday?" Chenle asks.
"I mean he could, but they changed the rule with check-in to keep too many locals from taking up space. So check-in is only available Friday. He wouldn't be able to race." Yangyang says.
"What's so wrong with that?" Summer asks.
"It's his first race wars. You really think he'd want to sit on the sidelines with you all weekend?" Renjun asks.
"Now, you listen, Huang-" Summer starts.
The bickering among your friends continued as you sit quietly, still thinking.
"What if I went with you?" you ask.
"To my brother's wedding?" Mark questions.
"I'm not trying to forcefully invite myself. But if I go with you, you and I can do that drive. We'd get there pretty late but I'm pretty sure if I talk to Taeyong I can work something out."
"You wouldn't be inviting yourself since I was just about to invite you myself."
"Really? You were gonna ask me to come as your date?" you ask, endeared.
"Well I was gonna ask you to come as my girlfriend—I mean technically you'd still be my date, but my date as my girlfriend-"
You hear nothing else after girlfriend. His girlfriend. Mark's girlfriend.
"Mark, are you kidding me?" you ask, genuinely in disbelief.
"No?"
You grab Mark's shirt and kiss him. That definitely got everyone quiet.
"Woah, woah, what did we just miss?" Haechan asks.
"I'm taking your answer as a yes," Mark says to you.
"Yes, Mark. I will come to your brother's wedding as your girlfriend," you can't help the grin stretching across your face as you say it. You then move your legs out of his lap and turn to the rest of the group. "Alright, so here's what's going to happen," you start explaining your plan to everyone.
[7:21 AM] (next) FRIDAY
"Sunny, let's go!" Nyla yells from the front door.
"I'm coming," Summer replies, dragging her oversized suitcase down the steps behind her.
Following her down the stairs, you meet the rest of your friends outside. You make sure you've packed everything you'd need for the weekend in your car before you hand your keys over to Sungchan.
"Sungchan, do you understand how much I'm trusting you right now. This is my baby," you tell him.
"Yes, I know. I promise I'll be careful with her," Sungchan nods.
You watch as Shotaro helps the younger boy hook your car up to the rig connected to the back of Sungchan's vehicle.
"Kun just called me before he boarded his flight, and said the house is ready for us. And we should really get a move on if we don't wanna hit traffic," Hendery says.
"Though I do appreciate Kun letting us use the vacation house, why isn't he going?" Goeun asks.
"He's flying out to Shanghai to meet up with Winwin. He said the car scene out there is some next level shit," Yangyang says.
"So what I'm hearing is we're making a trip to China soon," Summer says.
"Can we get to this race wars first?"
"We'll see you and Mark later tonight?" Nyla asks before she gets into Jaehyun's car. You confirm with a nod. "Have fun." she tells you.
"You too. But not too much without us," you say.
"No promises," Jaehyun playfully winks at you before driving away.
[1:19 PM]
As your Uber pulls up to the venue, you feel the smile rushing to your face when you see Mark outside waiting for you. He opens your door and holds his hand out for you.
"Wow, baby, you look���damn," he licks his lips as he stands back to get a full view of you.
"Mark, knock it off," you laugh.
Mark excitedly squeezes your hand as he walks you inside, his body seemingly buzzing.
"Babe, you okay?" you ask Mark.
"Yeah, I'm just excited to introduce you to everyone."
"We basically grew up together, Mark. Haven't I been introduced to practically everyone."
"Yeah, but not as my girlfriend," he grins.
You both made your rounds for a bit, Mark proudly showing you off to everyone before he got called away when all the groomsmen were needed for pictures, leaving you to wander over to the bar.
"I see all this secret pining has finally come to an end," you hear a voice from someone at the bar beside you. Seeing the cousin of the bride wasn't surprising, but you're still happy to see him after all these years.
"It was about time, wasn't it," you say to Doyoung.
"I'll say. It was exhausting watching you two be in love and not say anything to each other," Doyoung says.
"In love? Okay, now you're over-exaggerating," you roll your eyes, sipping your drink.
"Taeil, back me up on this," Doyoung calls his friend.
"On what?" Taeil asks, turning to you two.
"This one and Mark being so obviously in love since high school."
Taeil turns to you and starts laughing, "Oh, you're serious?" he stops laughing, "Well he's right."
"Taeil, you're not supposed to take his side!" you cross your arms over your chest.
"Sorry, kid."
Once it was time for the ceremony to start, the wedding coordinator ushered everyone to their seats. Before the groom came out, Mark walked down the aisle along with the maid of honor. 
"You ready for that to be you next?" Doyoung asks Taeil as Mark's brother walks out. 
"Am I," he smiled at his girlfriend, who stood along with the rest of the bridesmaids. 
"I'm sorry did I miss something?" you ask. 
"Oh right, I'm engaged, by the way," Taeil says nonchalantly as music for the bride starts playing. 
"What the fuck?" you try to whisper, "Oh my god, since when?"
"Since last month," he answers. 
You don't have time to celebrate the news anymore, with Doyoung shushing the two of you as the groom and bride start their vows. 
The last time you attended a wedding was before you could even drive, so you barely remember what happened, but you can count you weren't as emotional at the last one. It may also have to do with your proximity to the couple, almost feeling as if you were watching your own brother get married. You try to keep your composure as the bride continues on her vows. 
"There's nothing in my life I regret since it had all led me to you. I knew I loved you from the second we met. You've seen my at my bests and worsts. You know about all the good, the bad, the ugly, the dirty, yet you still accept and love me as I am. All the days I've spent with you, laughing, crying, smiling, yelling and there's not a single one I would take back or change-"
You can't stop the tears welling up in your eyes. You didn't really think the bride's vows would tug at your heartstrings the way they did, and all you can think about is Mark. Your eyes find his already looking at you.
As the tears fall, you give him a small smile before mouthing, "I love you," to him.
Mark tries to fight the smile coming to his face, not wanting to draw attention to himself before he mouths back, "I love you too."
You hadn't even realized the tears were streaming down your face until Doyoung handed you a tissue.
"Thank you," you whisper. 
"It's just so beautiful, isn't it?" Taeil asks, also crying and pulling out his own tissues.
[5:57 PM]
Between dancing and socializing at the reception, while waiting for the cake to be cut, you and Mark ended up leaving later than you originally planned.
By the time you were in Mark's car and on the road, the sun had started to set. Mark had one hand on the wheel while you had the other in your lap, fiddling with his fingers. You look over at him, your chest filling with warmth as you take in the way the pink and orange hues contour his features.
"You know I meant what I said before," you break the silence.
"I know," he kisses the back of your hand, "I just didn't expect you'd say it first."
"Why's that?"
"Because I know how guarded you can be with your feelings sometimes," he explains, "But still, I've been in love with you since I was 16—It's kinda crazy actually, I didn't realize it until I was already on my flight to Korea."
You ignore the tears pricking your eyes as you lean closer to Mark, peppering his face with kisses.
"I love you, Mark Lee."
[10:13 AM] SATURDAY
You wake up with the sun shining on your face. You turn over, searching for the warmth of Mark's body. Considering how tired you both were, practically collapsing onto the bed when you two finally arrive some time after two this morning, you're surprised to not find Mark still sleeping beside you, his side of the bed empty.
"Mark?" you call him without opening your eyes.
"Yeah?" you hear him reply.
"Where are you?" you ask, eyes still closed.
"I'm right here, baby," you hear his voice a lot closer as the mattress sinks under his weight.
You feel his lips on yours. Still half asleep, your reaction was delayed before you kissed him back.
"This early in the morning, Mark?" you ask with a lazy smile.
"As hard as it was to stop myself yesterday, I also have a feeling we'll be pretty busy all weekend, so I'll take every chance I get." he says.
You laugh as his nose ghost over your throat, sending goosebumps all over your skin. Mark slips his hand under the shirt of his you were wearing and cups your breast in his hand. You arch into his touch, nibbling on his bottom lip. Your head sinks into the pillows when Mark rolls the pad of his thumb over your perky nipple. Mark doesn't take his eyes away from your face as he takes one of your nipples into his mouth.
Your hand finds his hair, and your fingers curl around the messy dark locks as he swirls his tongue around your areola. He gently tugs your nipple between his teeth, and you roll your hips against his thigh between your legs. 
"Mark..." you finally open your eyes to look at your boyfriend.
"Can I?" he asks, toying with the hem of your panties. 
"Please," you nod. 
Mark pulls your underwear down your legs and grips your thighs as he comfortably settles on his stomach. He guides your legs over his shoulder while leaving a trail of kisses and small bites up your thighs. Mark runs the tip of his tongue along your slit, humming when your juices land on his tastebuds. 
"Oh my god, Mark," your nails lightly scratch his scalp. 
He moans back at you in response, the vibrations from his mouth sending a jolt of pleasure up your spine. Your eyes screw shut, and you bite your lips so hard you're afraid you've drawn blood. You try with everything in your body to stay quiet. But with Mark messily eating you out, languidly moving his skilled tongue against your walls, you can't even stay still, let alone be quiet. 
"Please, baby, don't stop," you tell him. 
Before you even register the knock on your door, Summer enters your room, and your entire body freezes. 
"Hey-Where's Mark?"
You glance at Mark under the covers between your thighs, out of sight, and he smirks. You try to hide your reaction as he teasingly kitten-licks your clit. You squeeze your thighs around his head and quickly rush out an answer for Summer. 
"He went to go refill his tank before we go out today," you say. 
"Oh, okay. Well, breakfast is ready in ten, then we're all leaving around 11. Cool?"
You nod. "Yeah, yeah. We'll be ready by then."
Once Summer leaves, you barely have time to be relieved with Mark picking up like he never really stopped, making you cum on his tongue. 
"Fuck, Mark," you squirm, letting your orgasm wash over you. Mark continues lapping at your folds until he's satisfied. Coming from under the covers, Mark wipes the lower half of his face with the back of his hand. 
"What the fuck was that?" you ask, breathless. 
"You told me not to stop," he grins, and you roll your eyes, "You can't even act like you hate me 'cause I know you love me," he kisses you. 
"I'm beginning to rethink that decision," you tease. 
[2:24 PM]
Having been out in the sun practically all day watching races and even taking a few rides yourself, you decided to give your car and yourself a break from the sun. You parked under one of the canopies Johnny set up and took a seat on your hood. Coming back from watching Chenle race Ningning, you spot the top of Mark's head through the crowd, beginning to make his way over to you.
The look on his face can only be compared to that of a kid in a candy store. You love watching the way his eyes light up talking about the race, rambling on and on, you not minding one bit.
"So, is this everything you hoped it'd be?" you ask Mark.
He nods, subtly parting your legs to stand between them. "And so much more," he kisses you.
"Hey!" someone yells, grabbing everyone's attention, "how about you and me," Leo calls Mark out.
"Alright, how much?" Mark asks.
"No money," Leo smiles before turning to you, "I win, I get to take you out."
"As fucking if," you slide off the hood of your car, Mark instinctively wrapping his arm around you before you can get too far, some of the others coming to your defense as well. "You already had your chance and fucked that up. What makes you think I'll willingly put myself through that again? You wanna try and make yourself feel better by racing him, it'll be for two grand take it or leave it," you say to Leo.
"So he can have a shot at winning a date through a race but I can't?" Leo asks.
"Because he didn't try to win me over like I'm just a pink slip, and he doesn't have an ego bigger than an eighteen-wheeler."
"Fine. You're on, Mark," Leo nods at your boyfriend, "But we'll see if you'll feel the same when I beat him across the line," Leo smirks at you, and you scoff.
Spectators gather on either side of the runway, cheering for either racer as their cars pull up to the starting line. You had been suspiciously eyeing Leo the entire time he sat in his car with that stupid grin on his face.
"What's wrong?" Mark asks you.
"I don't doubt that you can beat him. But I don't trust he won't try anything," You say before walking up to Taeyong while Sean talks to him. "I'm riding with Mark," you tell Taeyong.
"What? You can't," Sean crossed his arms.
"There aren't any rules against it," Taeyong says.
"And how exactly do you think that'll help your little boyfriend? It can throw off his equilibrium and slow him down," Sean tries looking down his nose at you.
"Which is why you're gonna get your ass in that passenger's seat and ride with your little bestie over there," you point to Leo's car, "I mean, it's not like you haven't already gotten your own front row experience losing to my little boyfriend," you tilt your head. Sean grumbles before he walks over to Leo's car, and you get into Mark's.
"We're really doing this?" Mark asks.
"Ride or die, remember?" you hold out your hand.
Mark smiles, finishing the quote as he takes your hand, "Ride or die."
a/n: i’m telling y’all ever since ay-yo, mark has been living in my head rent free—currently the owner of a few properties, if you will. this is the longest thing i’ve ever written and tbh it would’ve been longer if there wasn’t a text block limit so i did the best with what i had 😭 and like i said before all my knowledge about cars is based off the fast and furious movies so…thank you so much for reading!! feedback is appreciated <33 tag list <33: @chardonnayyyy @aliceinwhateverland @itzz-me-duh @nctevia @sirens-dreams @pieddpiperr @yujuvly @scarletsknight
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whalesforhands · 5 months
Note
Hii! I have an idea ☝️😈
What about teen gojo and geto meeting future reader and they’re all baffled and mesmerized and all this fluffy stuff and reader is just like “🧍‍♀️” confused since she was fighting a curse a few seconds ago- But the adult versions of the two are busy doing whatever else so she has to deal with them until the curse wears off?
Just wanted to ramble 🏃‍♀️ Merry Christmas!
i like ur rambling, anon. guess what timeline i picked, hehe. whether or not it’s canon to main dyf au, is for you to decide. merry christmas hohoho
You practically deflate onto the ground, knees scraping against the soft dirt whilst your poor, beaten up staff was used as your sole support where you had stabbed it into the dirt, your hands sliding down the handle of your weapon as the dust settles around you.
It was rare to have you deployed on-field for an exorcism of a curse, and even rarer for you to have to deal with anything above a Grade 2.
(Mainly due to your husbands who were sorely against you having to do any exorcism at all.)
But, alas, even they can’t slay every single curse in the world; the higher-ups having purposefully kept their most powerful busy as of late.
“And you promise to abandon your mission if you can’t defeat it?” A seriousness in his tone, almost dreadful, almost domineering in nature. Geto Suguru will not take no for an answer, his hands upon your shoulders squeezing lightly, trembling just ever so slightly.
“Do not fight anything you deem above your skill level.” Gojo Satoru is wholly deadpan, your pinkies interlocked in a promise as intense eyes stare you down. You feel his pinky tighten, restless, unlabeled impatience. Absent of any semblance of playfulness. “Okay?”
You’ve taken their words seriously, only taking fights that you know you would win; only running when you know you can’t.
A jujutsu sorcerer does not give their life up so easily.
You hear a rustle from the bushes, eyes darting behind you, and ripping your weapon out and readying for another face off just as you feel a familiar, overwhelming power looming just where you had looked away.
“Now, now, now.” That familiar voice, lacking in all the more mature tones you were used to, all the gentleness that you’ve grown so fond of.
“You’re gonna drop your weapon, put your pretty hands up and slowly turn around to face me.”
(You didn’t even hear his footsteps. Was he flying?)
There’s no hesitation in your compliance, the clatter of your staff to the ground as your hands are held up. The malice in the energy you feel all stoked and ready to explode at any given moment, the tones of his voice an underlying, upset melancholy.
You’re facing the Gojo Satoru, afterall. However, there’s an issue with him, something you’ve realized all too soon after loving him for so long.
There’s a tensed silence between the both of you during the stare-down, your eyes still getting used to his slightly shorter stature, much shorter hair as compared to your highschool days and current adult age. His cheeks a tad bit fuller, but eyes dulled considerably.
He’s still so cute.
“My Six Eyes tell me that you’re (name) (last name).” From your breathing pattern down to every last speck of your cursed energy; it was undeniably you. His eyes shine with quiet grief, and gritted regret as you meet his gaze.
You feel sorry for him.
“…but you’re not my (name).” You’re a little more mature looking, a little far too calm and collected in his presence. You’re the same; yet not the one he knew. His eyes narrow as the red on his glowing hand fizzles out, his stance commanding and broad as his feet finally touch the ground before you, using his looming height as a threat. It contrasts the way his voice cracks just as he ends his words, a beating silence enveloping the both of you as your heart calms, your hands slowly going down.
“And you’re not my Satoru.” It causes a stuttering, reddish plum to his cheeks, a throb to his heart that he hadn’t expected to feel, clenching his fists, a click of realization alongside his fingernails digging into his skin, intrepid gaze holding your calm one.
“So I am in another world.”
——
This wasn’t your Suguru either. His hair is messily bunned up, the bags under his eyes darker than you have ever seen him. His lips are dry, his complexion lacking any of the usual vigor your Suguru had.
He looks far too weary, far too tired as he sits upon a nearby bench, hunched over and just so exhausted that it makes you wonder when was the last time he has had a good night’s sleep.
“Oi, Suguru!” The ‘Satoru’ that you had met is all too keen to greet the boy, his hand around your elbow and pulling you along with him. “I found out where we’re at!” His loud call only heeds the visible slump of the black-haired boy’s tensed shoulders, eyes still cast towards the ground as the cicadas call around him.
“And I found somebody to help us.” He brings the both of yourselves to a stop before the blank boy.
“It’s nice to meet you?” You’re honestly at a loss for words at the situation. For how all powerful and odd Gojo’s powers can be, you hadn’t expected this situation one bit.
It’s at your voice that this ‘Geto Suguru’ nearly whirls his head back at a speed so quick that it nearly scares you. Dry, reddened eyes widening and mouth opening, getting up on shaky legs as he extends a hand towards you.
“You—“
——
“So…” The silence is far too awkward for you to be comfortable. “There was a (name) in your timeline too, I hear?” Your fingers are twiddling with your jujutsu uniform as you sat in between the both of them, their proximity a just inching between the line of too close whilst awaiting for Ijichi’s pickup to the campus.
‘Gojo Satoru’ is the first to speak up. “Yeah.”
A pause.
“Our (name) is… Dead.” You see ‘Geto Suguru’’s hands clench at his uniform pants, bundling the fabric up so tight that his knuckles started to turn white.
Oh. You feel bad now.
“I’m… Sorry about that.”
A breath is sucked in through his teeth. “Don’t be.”
You shouldn’t feel sorry for them at all. It’ll just make it worse than it already is.
Isn’t it funny? Comical? That their (name) had to be ripped away from their hold, had to be clawed away from their reach, only for fate to place another you; living, breathing right in front of them.
So palpable, so alike, so unbearably, painfully you. It makes them want to throw up in disgust, honestly. But they can’t.
Because it’s you.
“I-I’m sure that I-“ No. “Your (name) lived a good life if you were both around, then. Please- Trust me on this.” You know. You know that any version of ‘you’ would be satisfied with their life if they had friends like them; Gojo, Geto and Ieiri.
It’s a life that no version of you would ever regret. You wouldn’t regret becoming a jujutsu sorcerer if you had gotten to meet people like them.
And it brings two broken hearts just a tinge more comfort.
——
“Um, Satoru..”
“Yes?” It was a chorus of two similar voices.
“Ah— No. Uhm— My Satoru.” You’re a bit frazzled as you nod towards your blindfolded husband, a satisfied hum coming from him as he made his way towards you.
“Just call the other one Gojo! Or you can just call for your hubby~” He’s cooing into your ear for the duo to watch on, a hand on your waist to hook you in close as a smile is donned upon his face.
There’s a beat of silence before the more intimidating white-haired sorcerer spoke up.
“No. I want to be called Satoru.” The younger Gojo had had his eyes set upon you, never letting you leave his vicinity. Then, that means that the other ‘Geto Suguru’ would be called as simply ‘Suguru’, then.
“Your blindfold’s pretty lame. Do I actually want to wear that?”
Your Gojo chooses to turn his nose up, and ignore that sneer his younger counterpart gave him. “Man, I was so angry.” You hear a sigh as you see a hand wave off the younger boy. “Do whatever you please, little me. But don’tcha leave yet, please! My Suguru’s gonna be so stoked to see this.”
Oh, speaking of your Suguru.
“Did you tell him to pick up some dashi stock for our dinner tonight? I ran out yesterday.”
“…how about we just order a pizza tonight?”
“Sator— Gojo!” Your hands are immediately upon your hips as you feel him hug you towards him, a hand going up to stroke the back of your head, as your face is pressed to his chest to muffle the incoming scolding.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Don’t be mad at me! A wife’s scorn is a husband’s greatest regret!”
“…you guys live all together?” ‘Suguru’’s voice breaks the moment between the both of you.
You feel a rumbling of your husband’s chest as a laugh is released.
“And we got kids together too. Ya jealous yet?”
——
“Aha, this is certainly a sight.” Suguru is shedding himself of his jacket as he kicks off his shoes by the genkan, the sight of his younger self, and double the Gojo certainly jarring for him as they sat around the dining table.
“Welcome home, honey!” It’s your Gojo that skips along to press an obnoxiously wet kiss to your other husband’s lips first as you gently place the final bowl of zaru soba down.
(Minus the miso soup side dish. You’re still slightly mad, but you have guests over.
“We could’ve just ordered a pizzaaaaaa!” Your husband’s whines are ignored as you strain the noodles out.
“I’m not feeding guests a pizza, dearest idiot husband of mind.” You pat your hands dry upon your apron, turning to flick at his forehead as he whines even more, begetting a giggle before you tiptoe up to press a kiss to the area.)
“Welcome home.” Your voice greeting your husband is lost on ‘Satoru’ and ‘Suguru’’s ears as they stare down at the bowl before them. The significance of the food almost making the cursed spirit user tear up.
This was his favourite food. It— ‘You’ and himself used to eat this frequently until—
“Suguru… Are you okay?” A whispered concern from his Satoru.
“Yeah. I—“ He thinks he’s going to be sick. “I’m fine.”
“It isn’t much, but I hope you enjoy it.” His ears finally tune back in just in time to hear your voice once more. Dreary copper-amethyst gaze flicking up to meet your warm, lovely face.
He’ll eat it. He’ll eat it. He’ll eat it.
“Don’t push yourself if you can’t.” It’s this world’s Suguru that pops in, much longer hair, his older features, his broader stature and more muscled body.
(Does— He know what he’s been through?)
His chopsticks are trembling as he brings the noodles to his lips, mouth opening and slowly chewing— He stops as a realization hits him.
It’s delicious. It’s so delicious. There are tears in his eyes as he begins to gobble it up, a hack in his throat as ‘Suguru’ pushes the urge to vomit away to take in more.
(If— if this was his final time meeting you- Then he has to. He has to. But— This is strange. Even his counterpart didn’t react all that much to his and Satoru’s appearance.
It occurs to him that perhaps, they aren’t in another world. If they’re meeting their older selves, then— Perhaps they are in another timeline.
Which means—)
His gaze returns down to the now empty bowl before him, before flickering up to meet your satisfied, almost prideful face.
“Thank you for the meal.”
“You’re welcome! I’m so happy you loved it that much!”
Perhaps this situation wasn’t so bad at all, giving him the chance to see your smiling face once more.
——
“If you give me a kiss, I’ll tell him~” Is he mocking his younger self…? You just wanted him to help the other ‘Satoru’ to get back to his world. Alas, you relent, leaning over to press a chaste, quick kiss to his cheek as your Geto watched on with upturned eyes and a happy smile.
“Hey, kid me.” A joyful hum, a satisfied gait as your Gojo watches the little boy who he once was.
“You already figured out how to go back already, right? Whatcha waiting for?” Huh…? Your Gojo already knows how to get them back?! Your eyes widen as you nearly choke on your water.
“Now, now Gojo. Don’t tease them.” Your Geto is chuckling, patting your back as you cough. “You’ll make our poor wife worried. I’m sure that they have some sort of unfinished business here.”
What?! Were they both in on this? This is just getting stranger, and stranger…
“Heh. Guess it isn’t a surprise I would know myself best, huh?” Satoru lets a cocky grin overtake his features as his fingers intertwined with his Suguru’s.
“Guess I really am the strongest.”
His gaze finally stops at you. “It was nice— Y’know.” He grows shy, eyes shifty from behind his sunglasses. “Seeing a (name) again.”
‘Suguru’ speaks up. “Thank you for— Allowing us to experience it again.” He’s grateful. The most he’s ever been, the most he’s ever felt ever since your passing.
Thank you. But— It’s only goodbye for now.
“It was nice meeting the both of you!” You’re bowing politely as you wave.
(The younger Suguru is finally smiling. Even if it’s just a little.)
“We’ll see you soon! Wait for us!” A salute and a bright grin. And in a flash, they have disappeared.
…what?
masterlist
Notes:
If you don’t get it, your current Satoru and Suguru have experienced what their younger counterparts have been through.
Younger Gojo and Geto have been watching every move you’ve been making. Keep that in mind if you ever reread this, haha.
During dinner, younger Gojo and Geto decided to share a bowl together since Geto hasn’t been able to eat a full meal without throwing up. It was the first time in a while he’s eaten so much. When Gojo saw how much he was eating, he asked for a separate bowl for himself.
Geto Suguru thinks he’s pretty handsome in this world. Would…you have liked someone like that too? His Satoru certainly does. He’s seen the shifty, almost shy gaze his Gojo threw the older Geto. Maybe he will grow out his hair.
“Aww, I was such an adorable brat!~” His hands are placed upon his cheeks as he cooed, watching as his husband and yourself cleared the plates.
“Hmm. I suppose you must’ve lost all that cuteness in your youth, wouldn’t you agree, darling?.” Suguru’s cooing back at him from the kitchen with a laugh, his body turning to you to ask for your opinion.
“His younger self was certainly so cute… But I suppose my answer depends on whether he helps with the dishes today.” You’re teasing him right back as you slowly wash the plate.
“W-what? Fine, I’m coming! Call me adorable, pleaseee!”
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azure-cherie · 4 months
Text
PAC :
What's in your store for January
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Pile 1 -3
Hello love's hope you had a very happy and fruitful new year , I'm praying for the happiness and well being of all of us one more year together I'm so grateful for each one of youuu
Please choose using your intuition and take what resonates
If you'd like a personalized reading for new year
Paid readings , paid readings 2 , masterlist
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Pile 1 :
First of all what are you guys even dealing with good lord The energy is pretty heavy , I will not be surprised if you have prominent Saturn in your charts this month I believe you are dealing with karmic cycles , Things ending in general, you might be a bit shaken up soon something you thought never would happen will happen
I'm sensing career or home sector fights could be there as well as inner conflicts beware and take precautions don't get too caught up about what others have to say rather choose your own story this also indicates you might soon take a stand for yourself its really required something has to come to an end because the time is over now you are to urge for more ! Financially! Abundance is written for you this time your creativity will pay off I know you like you play with fire but remember life moulds you like a clay some fire glazes some melts you gotta choose your own battles why do I feel like I'm talking to myself lol .
You will understand the worth of spontaneous plans soon sometimes you gotta do stuff for the sake of doing it and you just gotta act wild just be careful about the fact that everyone you go out with isn't a friend every co worker doesn't mean good for you learn to see through people's mask ! Theres one video by persephonesmind its perfect she explains it really well , followed by ten of swords some of you might experience a rock bottom moment however it isn't for everyone but with the world be assured you will pick yourself up this might seem like a bad ending but it's a good one or turn out to be good it's a matter of time bae anyone who tries to play you cheat on you will be ashamed themselves because they will see the purity in your heart .towards the end of the month I see some enemies becoming friends.
Pile 2 :
You're a bad bitch period !! This month is about embodying the best version of yourself move on despite the snakes around you ignore the people you're gonna be investing on something that is worth it it's a sign ! Friendships are something you will be blessed this month new and old you will also actively let go of a fear of yours I heart heights and abandonment issues.
If you're looking for commitment from someone it will be given this month like engagements marriage yay social media fame is also written there would be more family functions to attend to I see more active energy in this pile. You will understand the worth of standing alone and work your intuition through difficult situations .Your dreams might be a clear indicator of something also I feel you're making someone cry or someone is making you cry ask advice from someone who's been there in your situation you can also ignore if the situation isn't as important I also feel ignorance energy I guess it's good because you're also healing from abandonment issues .
You'll be doing some course on money management or get advise from your elders on your resources. Sometimes we make our own problems dont get sucked into that take time but let your loved ones know that you need it ! Also you really need that money management advice as you might end up losing something but I also don't think it will he a bad loss ! Sometimes sacrifices are necessary you might understand the worth of small losses now but that will protect from bigger issues later.
Pile 3 :
I don't dress for women I don't dress for men lately I've been dressing for revenge! That's your main mood this January you're gonna show everyone who didn't believe in you what you're capable of you're going new heights reaching new goals making new ways I'm so proud of you
You have struggled a lot to do this actions manifesting you are getting closer to what you want , might fetch yourself a new leadership position this month you're gonna be an example an epitome of grown beside the struggles because you're so ready to work despite all the sneaking going on behind your back you're gonna be doing the thing needed to defeat your enemies you will undergo momentary defeat and might cry for a while because you might feel all forces are against you this is the time to pour into your inter child
When trauma shows up remember to shadow work nothing ever goes away one needs to heal with it don't get swayed away with temptations and fake promises I heard devil is strong but so is the knight know that your emotional strength will lead you through this you have to be more intune with your emotions but also lead with logic it's a hard balance to learn but once you're on it you become undefeated and you will be I'm so sure about that.
Thank you so much for reading
Have a great day/night ahead ❤️
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chaotic-toasters · 30 days
Text
Boomerang
Alanna Kennedy x Teen! R
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You don't know why you didn't say anything. You don't know why you didn't tell your mum that you were running out of your ADHD meds, but now you didn't have any more and you'd have to go to training without them.
"Y/N?" She called from the kitchen, voice echoing around the house. "We've gotta go, kiddo."
"I'm comin', I'm comin'," you grumbled. "Hold your horses, mother."
The defender flicked your ear teasingly. "Grumpy today, are we?"
You couldn't help but smile at the goofy grin on her face. "Only when you start yellin' for me even though we're not gonna be late."
The two of you slipped into the car, listening to the radio in an unusual silence.
"You alright there, baby?" your mum asked, glancing over at you where your hands were shaking in your hoodie pocket. "You're quiet today."
"Yeah, I'm good," you dismissed her concerns, twiddling your thumbs under the cover of your comfortable top. "When do you leave for the next Matildas camp?"
The question caught her off guard, making her forget about her previous statement. "In two weeks. You're on the roster, silly."
"Oh," you giggled sheepishly. "I forgot."
The rest of the drive was uneventful, though your mum did take offense to you jumping out of the car before she finished parking once you arrived at training. "Oi! Where you goin'?!"
"To find Hempo!" You yelled back, sprinting into the building to find your best mate at Man City. "She's fun!"
You could practically feel the offense radiating off your mum. "And I'm not?!"
"Eh."
"You cheeky little—"
"Hiii, Hempo!" You jumped on the older girl's back in excitement as she made her way to the changing room, a shit-eating grin on your face as she grunted from the sudden weight.
"Hiii, Y/N," the forward mocked, pushing the door open and carrying you into the room where some of the girls were already gathered. "How are you?"
"I'm good!" You chirped, jumping off of Lauren's back and somersaulting on the floor.
Your teammates paid you no mind, simply thinking you had a bit of extra energy. But as the day went on, you became more hyper and more restless.
"RAHHH!" you screeched, sprinting at Laia. "TIM TAMS!"
A hand snatched the back of your jersey, causing you to jerk back.
"Y/N," Steph scolded. "Calm down."
You grunted, hiding your ever-twitching fingers behind your back. "You and Mum are so boring."
"Her fingers are wiggling." Leila deadpanned.
You spun around, annoyed. "Shut up, Leila!"
Steph tutted disapprovingly. "I think someone didn't take their meds this morning."
Luckily, the whistle blew as the trainers called for a scrimmage, saving you from any further investigation.
Steph opened her mouth to say more, but you ran off to your position and clapped for the game to start. The skipper just shook her head, amused. She'd bring it up to your mum later.
-------------------
It hadn't even been ten minutes. To Steph's defense, you had been much calmer before the scrimmage, but you and Hempo were on opposite teams and your will to beat her only fueled your uncontainable energy.
"WAAAAAHAAAHA!" you yelled, sprinting down the field. "I'M A GONNA WIN!"
"Woahhh, slow down, Waluigi," Chloe reached out to grab you, but you just dodged her hold and continued your charge towards the ball. "Alex! Grab the kid!"
The Brit tried in vain to snatch you by the collar, but you only shook free and shrieked, "SHE'S A RUNNER SHE'S A TRACKSTAAAAR!"
Lauren screamed as you chased after her, leaving the ball abandoned in a futile attempt to shake you off. "WHERE'S ALANNA?! WHERE'S ALANNA?!"
"Seeing the physio," Demi said. "For her ankle."
Lauren screamed again, running like her life depended on it (it did). "GO GET HER! GO GET HER!"
"ARARARARARARARARARUFF!" you barked, your ADHD taking total control of your limbs and vocal cords. "AIAIAIAIAIAIAIAAIAIAIAI!"
Lauren jumped onto Sandy's back, scrambling away from you in a panic. "HELP ME YOU SHITS!"
"Hey, hey, hey," your mum rushed towards you before you could react, arms wrapping around you and holding you in place. "What's the matter, baby? What's going on?"
Your head whipped to the side. "Boomerang!"
She smiled at you worriedly, waddling off to the sidelines with you trapped firmly in her hold. "Yeah, kiddo. You're exactly like a boomerang, flying all over the place."
Steph jogged over as you babbled nonsensically, eyes meeting your mum's. "She didn't take her meds this morning. She was acting like this earlier, and she hasn't had any sugar."
"Aww, kiddo," your mum ran her fingers through your hair, trying to calm you down. "Why didn't take your meds? You know they're important."
Something in your brain briefly turned off the hyperactivity long enough for you to hear the slight disappointment in her voice. "I- I ran out."
"You've gotta tell me before that happens, sweetheart," she murmured, rubbing your temples. "You scared the hell out of Hempo today."
You buried your face into your shoulder, suddenly tired from your rampage. "'m sorry, mum."
"It's okay, kiddo," she assured, suddenly smirking. "It was hilarious."
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saint-siren · 6 months
Text
Sugar
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summary: cooking for someone is the sweetest expression of love.
pairing: mark grayson x gn!reader
content warnings: soft yan!reader, poisoning, gaslighting, caretaking, fluffy if you ignore that reader is a lil crazy
author’s note: I never posted this here but in honor of s2 of invincible, here’s this fic I wrote after s1 😵‍💫 my first mark fic
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Mark remembered his mom making pancakes on the weekends. It was his favorite breakfast when he was a kid. There was less time for sit down breakfasts as he grew older and spent more time outside the house working, going to school or hanging out with William, it remained a nostalgic thing for him. The smell of butter, the sizzle of the batter hitting the hot pan, he hadn’t realized he missed it.
Not until he woke up to the clattering of pans downstairs. Debbie was out for the day already, busying herself with work. As of late, the house had become stifling and she felt ill at ease. Mark was mostly left to his own devices for food and Mark being Mark, mostly subsisted on take out.
You had slept over (in the guest room, per Debbie’s request) and woken up early to make breakfast. Into the dry ingredients, you added a vial of powder as white as flour. You sprinkled it all in, hand inside the bowl, careful not to let it spill anywhere. You mixed carefully. With a focus as complete as ever, batter dropped onto the pan, sizzling. 
“Making breakfast?” His voice almost made you jump. You thought you were used to him sneaking up on you.
“Good morning to you too, Mark” You smiled to yourself, not looking up at him. “And yes, I’m making you pancakes.”
You didn’t look up but you could tell he was surprised by the pause and the awkward shift of his silhouette.
“I didn't…I know I only eat out these days but I don’t need you to cook for me, I feel kind of like an asshole watching you cook for me in my own house” He mumbled, looking away.
“I know I don’t need to, I want to. I’d feel better if you didn’t eat pizza everyday for breakfast.” 
“It’s not everyday, just…most of the time” He was embarrassed you’d noticed. “Are you not gonna have some?” He changed the topic. 
“I had four bowls of captain crunch at 5am, I’m not exactly sure more sugar is a good idea for me right now.”
You flipped the pancakes onto a plate, sliced a pat of butter onto the top and poured the syrup. Mark, even in his quest to be somewhat gentlemanly, could not resist. The first bite of the buttery pancakes drenched in the syrup evoked strong feelings. Longing, gratitude and love. The yearning for an innocence abandoned and the feeling of being loved was so strong he could cry.
Mark, like most teenage boys, could eat. You silently kept cooking pancakes and he kept eating them. It was a lovely morning, the air was sweet and the sky was a vibrant blue. You spent the day in Mark’s room, in pajamas, tracing shapes over his skin with your fingertips as you watched a marathon of movies he liked. He eagerly explained every gag and bit of trivia. But as the sky began to darken with the day’s end, Mark’s energy declined.
He was sluggish and he felt a bit warm. When he insisted he was alright, you still stayed by his side. A comfort he was secretly grateful for. Even when Debbie came home, fatigued, you kindly asserted that you would stay up with Mark and watch over him. It was only right, Debbie already had enough to deal with and she fussed over Mark until the early hours. If there was anyone she could trust Mark to, it would be you, just while she got some sleep at least.
You wiped the sweat from Mark’s brow with a gentle hand. You brought him water and aspirin, you rubbed his tender muscles, you changed his sheets soaked by sweat. Mark felt like shit but knowing you were there, unperturbed by his frequent vomiting, was a comfort beyond words. You even slept in the same bed as him now, holding his hand, rubbing over it with your fingers. He felt like a kid again, cared for and safe.
Even though after more than a week, Debbie wanted to bring him to the hospital, you waved away her concerns. “Part of this might be coming from Mark’s emotional state after what happened, maybe we have grief to blame for this, in part. Mark doesn’t need a hospital, his symptoms aren’t worse than the stomach flu, he just needs to be cared for” you had said, so convincingly, so knowingly, that it made her hesitate. You only had his best interests at heart. Mark even spoke up and said he didn’t need to go to the hospital. He had been in the hospital so often, he was sick of it. Even the memory of the strong antiseptic smell brought a sense of dread. He would rather be with you, at home being touched by your familiar, healing, hands.
He loved you so much, and told you as much very often. When you were showering with him, washing him because he was too winded; your wet, warm skin carefully cleaning his, he murmured ‘I love you.’ He was vulnerable, tender, worn and tired but he was certain of one thing. He couldn’t live without your warmth. Everyone else counted on him, they needed something from him and if he failed to deliver he’d be letting them down. It’d be another fuck up to add to the roster and yet another time someone he loved would look at him like a loser. But with you, he felt the closest thing to unconditional love he had ever experienced from anyone besides his mom. You didn’t care who he decided to help or what he messed up, you would always accept him. Even if you weren’t always pleased with what he did, you never judged him harshly for his mistakes. For his wins or his fails, you loved him. Mark thought it was way more than he deserved and part of him really did regret his actions more in the face of your forgiveness. He did feel like such an asshole when he found comfort in your acceptance, when you consoled him as if he really deserved it. But fuck if he didn’t need it.
He obviously couldn’t rush off saving people like he had, so he stayed safely inside. His world was small and manageable. His body was whole, if aching and feverish. That was what you intended. For Mark to be safe. He was always putting himself in danger like it didn’t matter, running off to save the world like no one else. Sometimes he would come back intact and sometimes he wouldn’t. Sometimes he was a hair’s breadth away from death. But Mark didn’t want to stay put, you weren’t strong enough to protect him directly and you couldn’t order him to. What were you to do?
A bit of poison wouldn’t do him in, in fact, you were certain it wouldn’t even keep him down very long. But buying even this amount of time was a blessing. You wanted to keep him safe, keep him inside forever if that’s what it took but that wouldn’t work. For now, you were just buying a little time and some peace of mind. You tell yourself you were driven to this.
A few days later, Mark’s strength had recovered somewhat. You fed him soup and he kept all of it down. He was relieved to be recovering even though he would miss being babied by you and Debbie’s worries eased meaning you were safe from her suspicion. He went back to school, back to saving the world eventually. You waited until enough time passed. Until you could return things to how they should be.
The moment came six months later, the previous night you two had been out with William and Eve. He’d rushed off to the city with Eve while you were in the middle of eating at some greasy pizza joint. Your heart fluttered as you gazed at the empty space next to you in the booth. At least Eve was with him, though it was a poor consolation. They were fighting the same aliens they were overwhelmed by a few weeks ago. He came home in one piece, thankfully, but he had been fighting so much lately. Cecil asked so much of him, he’d been flying off to this and that attack. He was bound to be hurt again soon, even just that month there had been threats he’d barely escaped from. It was your misfortune to fall in love with a hero, it meant that he would never really be safe and neither would you.
You called Mark to sleep over at yours when he came back that night. Your mother worked late or sometimes, simply didn’t want to come home so the house was yours. The two of you watched mafia movies, argued about whether the godfather was overrated or not and ate an ungodly amount of popcorn. The following morning, you cooked a big breakfast, muffins, bacon, omelets. Pancakes. 
He ate so hungrily it hurt your heart. He truly did love your cooking. Even though Debbie had gradually started making dinner for him again months ago, he had really missed your cooking. It wasn’t that her’s wasn't delicious, it was just…there was something that made him warm inside about the idea that you should make something for him. That you thought about him, cared about him enough. That much effort wasn’t necessarily a given in a high school relationship. It was new and nice to be with someone who showed their love for him so frankly.
You watched him eat with such a sweet look on your face. You ate with him, an omelette and bacon, for the sake of appearance. Planned out in anticipation of Mark’s tastes and in the interest of keeping suspicion to a minimum, you added your remedy to both the muffins and the pancakes. The muffins had less of it, as you knew Mark would be likely to eat more pancakes than muffins but if he chose to forgo that for the opposite, he would still be made ill. You even had plans for the unlikely event that he chose to eat neither. But Mark wasn’t rude enough to pass up food made for him by someone he loves.
Shortly after breakfast, Mark was in the bathroom vomiting. It seemed far more likely that the pizza joint with the sticky seats and chain smoking cooks gave him food poisoning than anything having been wrong with your food. In his head, it didn’t even occur to him. When you helped him into bed, he felt grateful that he was with you. It was such a relief not to say that he was fine, not to have to be brave. Nobody cared for him as gently as you did. 
Your sheets and your pillows smelled like you. Mark felt weird smelling your things but it was nice to be surrounded by comfort. You washed him in your soap so he smelled like you too. He couldn’t have wanted you more in that moment, he wanted your skin against yours. He wanted your voice, the brush of your fingertips against his. When he was well, he wanted to be someone you would be proud to be with. To be that hero you deserve. When he was this sick, he still had that desire lingering somewhere in the background but he melted down into the barest of wants. And what remained was a need for you, an uncomplicated desire. He felt as if he’d dissolve into your mattress if he couldn’t feel you.
“I’m right here, Mark” You murmured, cleaning the sweat from his chest with a cloth. You have such gentle hands, your eyes stay on his to make sure you’re not hurting him. Under your loving attention, a few tears roll down Mark’s cheek. He can’t help it, you’re always there for him. Without you, who does he have to lean on like this? His mom was already a wreck, Eve had her own problems, William had no idea how to deal with something as big as what he went through — he doesn’t even know how to deal with it. He cannot live without you, who doesn’t understand what he went through but understands what he needs better than anyone.
“What’s the matter? Does something hurt?” You asked, panicked at his tears. Mark didn’t cry easily, you hadn’t meant to put him in so much pain he’d cry. You had added just enough, you always operated on that balance. Just enough pain, just enough sickness, just enough time.
“No, it’s just-” Mark’s voice was raw. “I’m glad I’m with you, that’s all.”
You softened. Hearing him say that made you melt into a puddle of sticky sweet syrup. It only strengthened your resolve and you were overcome with the need to keep him safe. And with the knowledge that if something happened to him, you would die. When the savage, gruesome fight happened, your stomach was in knots for days while you heard no news. Your heart squeezed painfully as if you were going to have a heart attack and it went on for days. When you slept to escape the constant anxiety, you had nightmares. You didn’t even go to school, you couldn’t get out of bed for anything other than checking whether or not he’d come home. For weeks you lived in hell, thinking you would lose him. And although he was alright that time, a piece of that moment lived in you every time he flew off toward danger. 
“I love you so much, Mark” You bowed your head and rested it against his chest, hearing his strong heart beating. You pressed a kiss there, along the contours of his chest, right over his heart.
“I love you too” He mumbled weakly. There couldn’t be anything sweeter than you.
Your love was falling over him like powdered sugar. These moments, without knowing it, he had come to need them. Being sick was the only time he was allowed to fully be human. No one needed or expected anything of him. Under your care, he could be briefly vulnerable. 
That was all you needed to ease that inkling of guilt that rose in the back of your mind. Who was protecting him like he protected everyone else? No one but you. It was why you had to resort to using underhanded methods, if everyone was trying to protect him, if they only cared — you wouldn’t need to. That was what you reasoned, anyway.
Mark needed you, anyone with eyes could see that. And you had no intention of abandoning him. Whatever you had to do, in your eyes it was all the desperation of a powerless human trying to save the man they love. It was romantic, even. You anticipated the moment where Mark might put two and two together. It made you anxious and you had practiced the speech you’d give him a thousand times. “I love you and I’m scared. I’m so scared for you. I always am." But you soothed yourself with the knowledge that Mark would understand, above anyone else, you’d earned the benefit of the doubt.
Because Mark knew what he needed, even if it was something he couldn’t have expressed on his own. Even if it was something that he shouldn’t. He was only human — even if he was half viltrumite — could he really deny your feelings and his own? No. Not when you were his saving grace. How could he not understand what you were trying to do when his sentiments were nearly the same?
You were watching Mark sleep, laying next to him, his arm around you. His skin was warm and his breaths were labored. You reassured yourself as you pulled the blanket up to his chest. You would take good care of him, he knew that. He had to, he had to know. He just had to.
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lambertdiary · 6 months
Note
what if mike is your neighbor and he asks you to babysit Abby cause Max is late and she accidentally says he has a crush on you
His shaky hand knocked on the door, taking a deep breath when he heard you walking towards it. You have lived next to each other for years and he’s always felt some kind of attraction towards you, but he never made a move. It’s not like he had time for a girlfriend anyway, but he couldn’t push his feelings away.
“Hi. Mike, right?”
He nervously nodded as he tried to give you a smile “Yes, hi. Sorry to bother you but- uh I’m kinda late for work and the babysitter is not here yet, so I was wondering-”
“Yes, I can watch Abby” You responded. He let out a sigh of relief and blushed when you returned the smile “Just give me one second, I’ll be there in a moment”
“Sure, no worries” 
He watched you go back inside and close the door behind you. He started making his way back to his house, repeatedly looking back at your door to make sure he still had time to talk to his sister.
“Abby!” He called for her as soon as he went back inside “I don’t think Max is coming tonight so Y/N is gonna stay with you” “Who is that?” Abby asked, barely looking away from the drawing she was working on.
“The neighbour. Now, I need you to promise me you’ll be on your best behaviour”
“But I don’t wanna stay with the neighbour” She pouted, finally looking up at him “I wanna come with you”
“No, you’re gonna stay here with her and you’re gonna be good”
“But-”
“Abby, please. I know it’s not ideal but I promise we’ll do something fun some other time. Plus, I bet she’s more fun than Max”
Just as Abby was about to say something, you knocked on the door. She sighed, knowing there was nothing she could do to stop the inevitable.
“Do we have a deal?” Mike asked before opening the door, and Abby just nodded. You met him with a smile on the other side of the door “Hey, come in”
You walked in and your eyes immediately landed on the little girl. She didn’t seem as excited as you had hoped “Hi Abby, I’m Y/N, remember me?”
“My brother always looks through the window when you get home every afternoon”
Mike’s eyes widened “That’s not true, that’s just when I leave for work”
You let out a giggle, looking down at the floor so your hair will cover your blushed face “I know, don’t worry”
“Anyway, I have to get going. Max should be here soon but if not call me if you need anything, my number’s on the fridge” You smiled at him and nodded, paying attention as he pointed at the fridge.
“Thank you for abandoning me” Abby left the chair and ran to her room, slamming the door behind her.
He rolled his eyes as he opened the front door “She’s all yours”
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cloudybarnes · 9 months
Text
Private Encounters
Pairing: Cardan Greenbriar x reader
Summary: you were tired of Cardan constantly attacking you and your friends. one day, though, Cardan asks to speak with you privately, and no good things could come from the prince of elfhame wanting to speak with you with no one else around
Word Count: 2.4k
Masterlist
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✰  ✰  ✰
"Hurry up, you guys! We're gonna be late again!" Taryn whisper-shouted as you and Jude trailed behind her towards the courtyard.
Usually, you two went alone on your adventures, but Taryn decided she wanted to be spontaneous, too, and wanted to join along. Unfortunately, she didn't seem to have that much fun, and urged you back to class almost as soon as you got there.
"Who cares if we're late?" Jude rolled her eyes. "It's not like anyone would really care."
"Just because they don't like us, doesn't mean I want to draw their attention. Who knows what they'll do." Taryn shifted the picnic basket of food between her hands, nervously. She was always the most cautious of you three; always fearing what they would say or do to you guys.
You scoffed, "Taryn, let's be real. Even if we were there on time and minded our own business, Cardan and his little fanclub would still find some reason to bother us."
Jude chuckled, "he's so insufferable. What I wouldn't do to wipe that idiotic grin off his face."
You laughed, "I'm right there with you. It's like his greatest pleasure is being annoying."
"I don't know." Taryn slows her speed walk to match pace with Jude and I. "I feel like Cardan mostly has it out for you, now, (Y/N)."
You rolled my eyes.
"Oh yeah," Jude agreed. "Ever since we became friends, he's like diverted the hatred for us onto you."
You laughed, "Wow, thanks guys. Who knew being your friend would make a prince despise me."
Jude laughed too. "I don't think it was all our fault. You're human, so he would have hated you anyway."
"That's so reassuring, thanks for that."
Jude smirked, "anytime."
When we finally emerged onto the courtyard where class was taking place, most everyone ignored you, save for the professor.
"Ah," he said, "nice of you three to join us. Please find a seat so we can continue on with our lessons of astronomy."
Taryn bowed her head to keep from looking at anyone. You noticed Jude did not bow her head, but she would not look at the other students.
You, however, must be an idiot to not follow along with them, because your gaze falls straight to Cardan, who is staring back at you with much ferocity.
As the even bigger idiot you are, you do not avert your gaze, but simply glare back at him. To that, and small, devilish grin grows on his face. It almost seems like an invite of this little game you play. He hates you and your friends, goes out of his way to torment you three, and for that, you refuse to back down. Sometimes, you think he likes that you fight him so much.
"(Y/N)," Taryn calls, quietly as to avoid too much attention. She waves you over. Only then do you realize you've been staring at Cardan so long that Jude and Taryn have already set up the blanket and started spreading out the food.
Your cheeks heat as you walk the few feet to where they are sitting. You can hear Cardan snicker as you walk past him and Nicasia.
"What were you thinking!" Taryn scolds as you finally sit down on the blanket. Your professor continues with his lecture, but you don't even bother to pay attention to him.
You shrug, "I'm not really sure. I just can't stand him so much it makes me crazy."
Jude laughs at that. "I'm so glad we're friends, (Y/N). I think I'd go crazy if I didn't have someone else to share my hatred for Cardan with."
You giggle, "well it's a good thing I'm here, then, huh?"
"I don't think anyone is happy you're here."
Looking up from where you're sitting, you see Nicasia and Cardan looming down over you. Seems like the lesson is over as everyone else has abandoned the courtyard.
"Oh, Nicasia, always a pleasure." You rolled your eyes as you stood up. Behind you, you hear the shuffling of Jude standing and pulling Taryn up with here. "To what do we owe you coming over here and bothering us for?"
She smirked, "I have no reason for being near you filthy mortals other than to make sure you stay in your place. You don't belong here. You're frail, and worthless, and someone needs to remind you of that."
You mocked her with a laugh, "is that really all you've got?"
Taryn let out a quiet gasp.
Nicasia narrowed her eyes. "What did you say?"
You shrugged. "All I'm saying is you give the same excuse every time you come over here. 'I'm putting you in your place', 'make sure you know what a worthless mortal you are'. Blah, blah, blah. It's very redundant, Nicasia, and quite truthfully, it's just tiresome." You said condescendingly.
The fire is her eyes was hot. Her fists balled at her side as she glared at you.
Now, it's not like you were looking for trouble, or that you wanted anything bad to happen to you or your friends. You just could not stand the way she and Cardan always came over to you and caused problems.
The slap was expected. Your cheek burned as Nicasia's hand left your face. Taryn couldn't hold back the very audible gasp that left her lips. Looking back to your friends, Taryn looked utterly frightened, and Jude looked angrier than you'd ever seen her.
Right as Nicasia was about to slap you again, Cardan interrupted her.
"Nicasia," Cardan warned as he lifted his hand, "that is quite enough."
You scoffed. "Oh, and since when are you ever the peace maker?"
Cardan smirked, "Since Nicasia decided she was going to slap you. I quite like your face the way it is."
All heads turned to Cardan as he said that. Nicasia looked hurt, Taryn looked almost as confused as you felt, and Jude just looked disgusted.
You narrowed my eyes at Cardan, despite your confusion. "What games are you playing at, Greenbriar?"
His eyebrows shot up in delightful surprise. A cheeky smirk playing on his lips. "I have no games, (Y/L/N)." He spat out your last name like it disgusted but also intrigued him.
He looked between Nicasia, Jude and Taryn. "You, leave us. I have a few words for (Y/N)."
Jude and Taryn looked at each other, confused and contemplating if they should leave or not. You stood your ground though.
"I'll be fine, guys. I'll just meet you back at Madoc's, okay?" You tried to reassure them, though you weren't exactly sure what you were getting yourself into. All you knew was that you didn't want Cardan to know he frightened you.
Jude nodded her head. "We won't be far. And Cardan," she turned to him, "if you so much as touch one hair on her head, I will-"
"Oh relax, would you, Jude? Always resolving your issues with murder." Cardan rolled his eyes. "Leave us. Now."
Jude glared at Cardan before turning to you and giving you a reassuring look. Just as quickly, she turned away and pulled Taryn off with her.
"And you," Cardan said as he turned to Nicasia. "I believe I ordered you away, as well."
Nicasia looked shocked. "Me? Why would I need to be sent away? Whatever punishment you have for the way she spoke to me, I want-"
"Leave, Nicasia. I won't ask you again."
Stunned, Nicasia's mouth hung open just slightly as she looked between you and Cardan. With a 'hmph', Nicasia turned on her heel and strutted away, leaving behind just Cardan and you.
The two of you stood there in silence. You gazed up at him, trying to decipher why he could possibly want to speak with you alone. Maybe he wants to kill you. Maybe he's grown tired of this cat and mouse game you have going on.
"What do you want, Cardan?"
He smirked, and took a daring step closer to you. "I just wanted to talk with you. You're... interesting. I find you intriguing to say the least."
You raised my brow in confusion. "You find me intriguing? Now I know you're toying with me. What do you really want, Cardan?"
He scoffed. "Is it that hard for you to admit that I might find you interesting?"
"How interesting could I possibly be? I'm mortal, remember? Can't believe you would forget, not after you and your friends made it your entire personalities to constantly remind me of my mortality and how worthless you believe me to be."
Cardan's smirk only grew. "You are quite right. You're mortal. Mortals by nature are fragile, slow, susceptible to our tricks, and yet you seem to be quite the opposite."
Your eyebrows shot up, completely shocked by this sort-of compliment you just received from the Prince of Elfhame.
Cardan continued before you could even get a word out. "I dislike mortals quite a bit. I think they are weak. They have little skill that is worth anything, and they are often succumbed to the nature of our people. You, however, are quite different, (Y/N)."
He took a tender step closer to you. Your breath was caught in your throat. Cardan had never shown any type of interest in you. You thought he'd never actually shown anything other than disgust towards you, but maybe you were wrong.
Maybe all of those teasing smirks and cruel comments were him testing you, trying to figure out just how far he could push you.
"You've stood up to me. You've been given every chance to back down. I've seen how far you are willing to go to defend yourself and those little friends of yours. I find it admirable in a way."
You force out a laugh. "You find it admirable? Everything you consider so 'strong' and 'admirable' about me is what I've had to do to survive this place. You've done nothing but make living here just that much harder than it already is for mortals."
You strode closer to Cardan, persistence on your face. His eyes widened slightly, but the daring smirk never faltered from his lips.
Just as you two were chest to chest, you spoke, "answer now, Cardan, what is it you really wanted to tell me?"
"I've already told you, (Y/N). I think you're admirable. I think you're intriguing. I think there is something about you that keeps drawing me in. Something so pulling, it's frustrating how much I think of you."
No words left your mouth. How could they when your jaw laid open the way it was.
Cardan chuckled. "Now, another reason I wanted you here. I must ask: I know you mortals can lie, something we folk can not do, but how are you so good at pretending?"
Your eyebrows furrowed slightly. "Pretending?"
Cardan's smirk only grew, "pretending you aren't in love with me, that is."
The world had stopped. It felt like your entire world had shattered. This was quite possibly the last thing you thought Cardan would get you alone for.
Anyone with eyes could see that Cardan Greenbriar was gorgeous. All of his kind were gorgeous, but he had exceptional beauty. Beside that, you couldn't find one characteristic about him that you had liked. Sure, maybe he stopped Nicasia from hurting you further than she would have. And by the way Jude recalled his cruelty before they met you, it seemed to have subsided quite a bit since you met him. That still doesn't change the fact that he is cruel, and has been for a long time.
"Cat got your tongue?"
You shook your head clear from your thoughts. "No. Just confused how you could possibly think I would be in love with you."
"You want to know how I know you're in love with me, despite what you might believe?" Cardan grinned and closed the already small space between you two. "Because I know how insufferable you find me. I know how I get under your skin, how you lay awake thinking of how much you hate me. I know this because I feel the same towards you, and despite my feelings of irritation with you, I still find myself completely infatuated by you."
"You are?" You questioned, voice so quiet you might barely have heard it, but Cardan sure did.
He grinned. "Oh, yes. I have been infatuated with you from the moment I laid eyes on you. I wasn't lying earlier when I told Nicasia I'd like her to leave your face the way it is. I think you are pretty for a mortal. You give off this glow and iridescence. You are unlike any other mortal I've come across. The way you've kept me up at night, the way I am excited to see you just to have our little spat had me confused for the longest time. Eventually, I just couldn't take it anymore and I’ve decided to act on it."
You couldn't take it anymore. Everything Cardan said resonated so deeply with you. Somehow he knew exactly how you felt. The way you hated him, the way you were angry with yourself when you thought of him so often, everything he said he felt is exactly what you were going through as well.
You decided, if Cardan was going to act on his confusing feelings, you would act on yours as well.
Already chest to chest, you reached up and gripped Cardan hair, tight enough to hurt, and kissed him with all of the pent up anger and hatred for him you had.
If Cardan was surprised, he didn't seem it. He gripped onto your waist and kissed you back with so much ferocity it made your knees weak.
It was hot, and it was unlike any kiss you've ever had before. Kissing Cardan was unleashing something so deep inside of you. All of your confused feelings for him wrapped up all into a long-awaited kiss.
Gasping for air, you and Cardan separated, though not fully. While you were no longer kissing, you had yet to pull your fingers from the tangles of his hair, and he had no plans of letting go of his hold on your waist.
"I still hate you," you said breathlessly.
Cardan smiled, he actually smiled and replied, "I think I hate you more."
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kurosstuff · 2 months
Note
could you do 🍯 3 with girl dick lute?
Of course~ decided to do it like the last one in a way? Demon x angel plot♡♡ but it's a different plot is- execution day still though(cause I don't think she'd go to hell for anything else)
Warning(s): demon x angel, unprotected sex, girl dick lute, tail and horns thing, wing stuff? Idk, mating season(both of yours) afab reader, mating. Heat/ruts(mating season) , Lute is MEAN(but also praising you♡)
Didn't say if you wanted fem reader so I did gn reade
Gp! Lute x GN!demon reader
There are a lot of things you hated about hell. One of the biggest things? Was mating season. All demons go through with it- it's a normal thing. Considering sinners now have animal tributes, it's just something you'll have to deal with. No matter what you are- for some it's easier to handle and deal with.
But the beginning of it is the worst. It's like you've never BEEN in one before.
Panting you hid in the abandoned building, looking around, tail curled, tucking nervously. Its like God himself hated you the most. As if waiting to laugh in your face considering its execution day.
And your being hunted.
The flapping of wings nearby made you duck to hide, but you were too late something hit your side, making you fly to the side looking back. You saw her. A executioner staring you down.
Just your fucking luck. It's the leaders second in command. Lute.
"He-hey-" waving backing up, ignoring how she snarled stalking towards you as she found her prey. Her victim. "Been a while, huh lute?' Swallowing the last time you ran into her. You somehow out ran her.
Ever since? Her sights have been on you.
"Yeah. After you humiliated me. A sinner outrunning me? You got lucky" she snarled out swiping her sword to the side the blood on it flhong around.
It was fresh.
And, of course, your big mouth had to just speak. "Yeah, six times, is it?" Cursing yourself for uttering that. How she stopped and stared snarling wings fluttering flapping. You really did it now.
You pissed her off more.
Yelping, you turned rushing off. "NO NO IM SORRY LUTE SHIT-" you screamed out, racing into the first room you could find stumbling into it. A dead end. Seriously? Who the fuck sleeps in a room with no windows? Sighing, you turned barley missed the swipe of the sword from lute as she attempted to kill you.
With her being silent? You knew you really fucked up. Hearing her snarling and..panting? You turned, kicking her back roughly. "Sorry!" You couldn't help but call out as she luckily? Landed on the bed. Turning around she on her back she groaned taking a moment-
Taking the time with her on her back, you pounced on her, holding her down. "Stop! I- I don't wanna fight!" As she squirmed, trying to buck you off, making you whine unaware she's trying to stop you from feeling her shame. Her guilt for feeling like this in this situation.
Gasping finally feeling something poking your thigh smirking, you grind against her waist slowly, making her moan snarling up at you. "y-your mating season is here too?" Whining softly as she grabbed your waist roughly bucking up into your hips, panting heavily
"Yeah~" she whined softly, getting harder at the reveal. "fuck~ you fought me on your mating day? Did you want to get fucked?" She snarled out allowing you to reach up taking her mask off biting her lip kissing you deeply flipping you onto your back
Gasping ypu flushed looking up at her "i- I had to! Had no choice it comes when it wants!" You panted out on instinct, almost submitting to her looking away feeling guilty. By the smirk on her
You knew she saw-
"Guess there's only one thing to do, no?" She purred out, grinding against you, leaning to take her shirt off "we fuck of course. We're both on our mating season? Why not?" She hummed answering for you when you didn't reply "I'm gonna ask you once. Do you want this" She huffed out
Gently rubbing your waist wasn't what you expected from her, but here she was, waiting for you to think ignoring her instincts. "Yes. I... I want this" humming in approval she kissed you leaning back to strip you using her sword - "wha- I- my shirt!" You huffed flushed seeing her roll her eyes
"Take my jacket after. Ok?" Grunting leaning back, pulling her pants down- pulling her hard cock out already leaking pumping herself slowly groaning softly "fuck~" moving close testing rubbing her tip on your entrance smirking
"Wait, wait! You're too big!" You gasped moaning at the sheer length of her- making her hum rubbing herself on your entrance, grinding against you moaning against your neck leaning back "you- will you even fit-?"
"I'll go slow" at first- left unsaid not fully answering- grinding more on you covering her cock in your slick she hummed "it won't hurt slipping in. Your to deep in your heat you'd already pooling of yourself." She Grunting slowly pushing into you moaning loudly "fuck~ your tight~"
"Oh- oh god~" you sobbed out, spreading your legs more, feeling her push in more stretching you fully "too much~" moaning loudly under her tail thumping whining more when she reached gently taking your tail making you gasping loudly slipped under her
"You were just crying for my attention sweetheart~ now your begging me to stop? You sure that's what you want~?" She hummed, moaning, pounding into you, gasping."fuck~ getting even tighter for me~ fucking rutting against me before no~? Now you want me to stop" Leaning back rubbing your tail, watching you squirm more under her gently pinching it making you sob moaning drawing a loud whine
"No~" you begged out, sobbing under her kissing her deeply sobbing out her name, making her smirk pinching your tail, causing you to gasp whining lewdly
"That's my good pet~" she purred, shoving Into you fully moaning loudly eagerly fucking you into the bed panting heavily "thank God there was a bed here no?" Kissing along your neck hearing the purrs mixed with your moans "fuck you like this~? Being fucked by your greater?" She moaned out gasping leaning up pulling you by your horns to show your neck more- forcing you into submission for her "that's a good pet~" panting heavily pounding rougher into you flushed darkly
Whining loudly wrapping your legs around her waist, yanking her deeper into her, fully submitting to her "oh fuck please~ c-claim me~" you sobbed out holding her close watching her wings flap in approval. Puffing in a way to show off- like a dance of sorts "oh please~?"
Humming biting your neck roughly "claim you? You want to be my mate?' She growled out pounding rougher holding the bed- your sobs moaning for her, making her hum "your tail sensitive or something?" Rubbing it making you nod sobbing out
"It- its a courting thing ~ like like- sensitive makes them want to be mated-" You choked out arching your back into her at her unrelenting pace "horns and tails make- make demons horny at the touch If not careful~" flushed at her smirk as she tugged at your tail once more
"Guess I'll take you as mine then, huh? My pet?" Pounding roughly leaning close biting at your neck,"making you my mate~? Mine?" Purring out moaning heavily holding their waist roughly claiming you as hers.
She didn't care for the consequences(she does but she's so lost in her rut to acknowledge it) that she does do it. She bites down roughly "my mate ~ my sinner~" she snarled out her cock twitching deep inside you moaning heavily feeling you tighten around her moaning her name out smirking she hummed "yeah you like that? Like being claimed?" Groaning "fuck~ go ahead cum for me my pet~"
Sobbing our nodding, releasing around her clinging to her feeling her pound deeper shoving fully into you cumming deep inside with a loud moan snarling into your neck claiming you from the inside as well "fuck~" Sobbing out panting heavily rocking up into her feeling yourself gush onto the bed from them "n-need more~" you gasped out sobbing out for her
"Fuck~ yeah?" Pounding into you against groaning, twitching deep inside you,"want more? Fill you up more~?" Kissing you deeply relishing in the moans and cries you let out for her "fuck~ doing so fucking good what a good whore I have huh?" Snarling against your lips wings puffing up expanding fully flapping happily showing off smug
"Yes fuck yes~" you sobbed out moaning arching your back cumming around her cock again sobbing from the overestimating from the unrelenting pounding- the roughness from her "oh please~ please~" Sobbing out loudly
Groaning "this- is this the last time~ go-got to go-" hearing the alarm go off for her to come back snarling loudly pounding roughly into you- shoving fully into you so lost in her rut she couldn't hold back cumming deep inside you once more moaning loudly rocking into you slowly before slowly gently pulling out watching you gush of her. Feeling smug- possessive she properly mated you.
Made you hers.
Humming, she reached up, plucking a feather from her wing, putting it on your chest "wear it. Make it a necklace" putting a claim physically on you. "Accept my mateship by putting it on~?" Purring out kissing you gently moving to get dressed quickly putting her jacket on you rubbing your twitching legs
After a moment, she fled. Flying away without a goodbye(she hoped to see you again) humming, she smiled happily, hopping it all would end well for you both.
-
-
-
But all acts. Have consequences. Mating a demon as an angel? Would have a consequence
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foreingersgod · 1 month
Text
Is it Casual now? . CC
pairing: caitlin clark x reader
synopsis: you thought you and caitlin were endgame, but now things are starting to feel a bit different
A/N: will be shifting the “ending” of the song so that we can all enjoy a happy ending lol
My friends call me a loser
'Cause I'm still hanging around
“YN come on we’ve had these plans set for weeks now” your roommate complained from her spot on your couch.
life had been so hectic recently and you barely had anytime to hang out with your girls. so when you heard caitlin was going to be out of town for the week and you had work off, you thought to set plans with your roommates to have a movie night and dinner at your place.
“seriously, you’re just gonna ditch us off?” another one of your roommates chimed, slightly irritated. you were scrambling around your apartment, throwing things into your overnight bag for when you arrived at caitlin’s place. “caitlin shoots you one quick text that she’s back in town earlier than expected and you’re immediately at her beck and call?”
you rolled your eyes. you knew what they thought of caitlin, that she was a player and only wanted you for one thing. but to you, it felt different, like she genuinely wanted you there at her side
I've heard so many rumors
That I'm just a girl that you bang on your couch
“she just wants you for a quick fuck, YN”
you’ve heard it all before. and you were very aware of how bad it looked from the outside. caitlin would only reach out late at night, never took you out, never bought you gifts, or offered to come over to your place. no wonder everyone thought you were just a booty call, every possible flag was blazing red.
and you often had your fair share of skepticism when caitlin called you up at 2 am with a “sorry i hadn’t called all week, you down to come over?”. but you always felt so worshipped when you were with her, completely blinded by the attention and false promises.
I thought you thought of me better
Someone you couldn't lose
she fucking stood you up. again.
you were sat at a bar, swirling the contents of your lip stick stained class. the classy black dress you wore suddenly felt suffocating and your eyes welled with tears. you couldn’t stop staring at the blaring 9:30 on your phone, thinking back to your conversation with cait the night before.
cait <3 : yea baby i can do 8:30, how does that bar down town sound?
you : that sounds really nice, see you then :)
it was your fault really, you kept hoping she would change. that maybe one of these dates would actually mean something to her, but after sitting in a bar alone waiting for an hour for her arrival, you were starting to lose your optimism.
sick of waiting, you paid your tab and left, not even thinking of texting caitlin back.
You said, "We're not together"
So now when we kiss, I have anger issues
“i missed you last weekend, cait” you muttered, pushing her face away from the crook of your neck, letting your head fall back against the pillow.
she had sent yet another text to you a few hours ago, asking if she could makeup for standing you up. of course, you gave in immediately.
she had sweet talked you so nicely when you arrived at her apartment. whispering in your ear, leaving trails of kisses down you neck and abdomen, taking your clothes off so gently. but the thought of her possibly abandoning you again lingered in the back of your mind.
“i know, i already said im sorry,” she attempted to seduce you with a kiss to the cheek “am i not showing it well enough?” now a kiss to the jawline.
she knew what she was doing, trying to act all innocent with flattery and kisses. if you weren’t so sick of the back and forth between the two of you, you would have let it convince you.
“cait, please. i want to talk about this”
“what is there to talk about?” her voice, once inviting was now laced with anger and irritation.
“don’t get defensive with me” you sat up, pushing her off your vulnerable body “i’m just trying to tell you that what you’re doing is hurting my feelings”
she looked at you expressionless, fingers rubbing at her temples.
“i want to spend time with you and it hurts when you ignore me and stand me up and-”
“yea, well we’re not together so…” she cut you off sharply.
it felt like a punch to the gut, hearing her say that. yea it was true, you weren’t together, but you don’t just act like the person you’re fucking isn’t worth anything to you.
“wow” you didn’t even know what to say. your eyes stung and you chest heaved with humiliation. did she truly think this wasn’t “together”?
You said, "Baby, no attachment"
“YN i really don’t know what you want me to say…i thought we both agreed that this was a casual thing?” she tried to tell you as you angrily picked up your discarded clothes from her bedroom floor.
“i don’t care what we SAID, caitlin” you stopped, buttoning up your shirt, looking her in the eyes “it’s what we keep DOING.”
“what are you talking about?”
“i know we said this was just a casual thing, but- but things started to change. we…ugh i don’t even know how to say it, but it just feels so different when we’re together. more than a casual hookup.”
she’s looking at you confused, pleading for an explanation.
“like when we hooked up that time after Iowa’s big game, you were knee deep in the passenger seat and eating me out? is that casual?”
she scoffed and rolled her eyes, but you egged on.
“or when your mom invited me to her house on Long Beach last summer? what about that, is that causal now?” your face felt hot as you raised your voice to her. you had surprised your self with these accusations.
“I hate that I let this drag on so long, caitlin, and now I hate myself”
all she did was stare, studying the features of your face. every crinkle in your nose, the way your lips quivered with anger, and every twitch of your right eyebrow was now forever embedded in her mind. she knew you were right, deep down, knew that she had fucked up so bad and that you only hated yourself because of her. she knew that her inability to commit had caused you pain and her avoidance issues had gotten out of hand.
“i’m sorry” she admitted, “i’m so fucking sorry that it hurts”
“caitlin, why? am i truly just a quick fuck to you?”
your question nearly knocked the wind out of her. she stood off the bed and meandered over to where you stood at the door, your pants still undone and your items thrown haphazardly into your overnight bag.
“no,” she breathed “you’re so much more than that”
it’s like you couldn’t speak, unable to do much else other than stare at her quizzically.
“i know i’ve treated you like shit. that i’ve fucked up far beyond fixing”
“so why don’t you show it? why sit here and tell me that it’s ok to ignore me and stand me up because we’re just ‘not together’? i don’t get it cait”
her hands ran over her face in frustration, she hated the confrontation. having to tell you all of this was sending her into a spiral. things were fine before tonight, she was able to do want she wanted and ignore all her feelings. and it all came crashing down the second she had gotten you into her bed, instantly faced with reality. tonight was it. she needed to be honest with you.
“i didn’t think i could love someone as much as i love you” she blurted out, which was followed by a deafening scoff from you.
“i’m serious,” she retorted “obviously i haven’t shown that, i’ve done nothing but be cruel to you. but the moment i met you, i knew you would have some sort of hold on me. and it scared me, YN”
you tried to interrupt, to take another stab at her childish behavior, but she kept going.
“i was so scared that i’d lose you, that you’d see through me and all my issues and eventually realize that i’m not worth having a real relationship with. so i tried to keep my distance from you, tried not to see you so it didn’t absolutely tear my heart apart, but i couldn’t help myself. i needed to have you, just a little bit, so i what it felt like to be loved by you. i just couldn’t risk ruining you, taking away a genuine life that you truly deserve all because i’m fucked up and avoid everything. and hooking up with you, to be completely transparent, has only made it worse because…because now i’ve seen what i actually lost”
“you,” there weren’t any words to express how you felt right now “you don’t need to avoid me, cait, you won’t ruin me. i know what i want in a relationship. it’s you, i want you”
“i’m just scared you’ll finally see past this whole thing and see that you don’t actually want me like that”
“i know you. i know that past this,” you waved your hands, gesturing between the two of you “there’s a different caitlin clark. one who doesn’t undermine herself and recognizes that she’s deserves real love just like how i deserve it. one that can address her commitment issues before they get out of hand like this did. one that won’t stand me up, that won’t shoot me down because she has ‘practice’. i know that the real you is perfectly capable of change.”
“i’m scared.” was all she managed “but i want to do better for you, i don’t think i can be without you, please let me fix this”
it came out as a desperate whisper, almost incomprehensible, but you heard her loud and clear.
“it’s going to take some time…but i’m willing to work on this.”
“i swear to god, YN, i’m going to be so much better. i’m done with the hookups and the late night texts. i just want you. all of you”
your hand found her cheek, pulling her towards you gently to place an intimate kiss on her lips.
“i believe you”
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arysbruv · 3 months
Text
Runaway
Tumblr media
You were a relatively newer student. You normally kept to yourself but you always dreamt of being friends with the main trio, especially with the infamous Suguru Geto. Yet, he always seemed to hate you, even when you openly showed you felt the opposite.
pairings: suguru geto x reader
warnings and whatnots : I was gonna end it here but i wanted some conflict hehe. So probably part 6 will be the end. Pride and prejudice mentions. Angst. I apologise in advance. Sorry for short chapter and late release have been busy 😔😔🙏🙏. Not proofread.
chapter 1 : are we still friends? chapter 2 : can we be friends? chapter 3 : sorry, not sorry chapter 4 : green looks good on you. chapter 5: [currently reading] chapter 6: burn.
You scanned the books on the shelf, you index finger nudging the edges.
The notifications on your phone going crazy, irritating you. You click your tongue as you look at the messages in the groupchat.
Gojo Hate Group ⁉️⁉️
Satoru 🧑🏻‍🦳: Me and shoko going out coz books r for nerds and ITS BORING
Shoko 🚬: Have fun lovebirds
Suguru 💔: wtf? Where are you both going?
Satoru 🧑🏻‍🦳: NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS SHOKO HURRY UP BEFORE HE CATCHES US
Satoru 🧑🏻‍🦳: OMG I CAN SEE SUGURU HE LOOKS PISSED
Satoru 🧑🏻‍🦳: SHOKO
Suguru 💔: Where the hell are you.
Shoko🚬: LMAO
You click your tongue, peering out the store window to see Satoru and Shoko leave the store in a hurry. Shoko gives you a sly smile, a small thumbs up while mouthing a small ‘you can do it.’
Note to self: kill Satoru and Shoko when you go back.
“They abandoned us.” A sudden voice says from behind you. You turn quickly, almost losing your balance on the smooth wooden floor.
A hand grabs your waist, stabilising you ensuring that you didn’t fall and make a mess on the floor.
Your eyes widen as you look at Suguru who was standing in front of you. He stared back, his eyebrows slightly lifted up in shock. Why was he shock? Your face heats up as his hand retracts.
A pang of sadness hits you as you felt his hand leave you, yet the way his fingers grazed your skin drove you mad. What was he doing?
“Yeah… they did.” You turn away from him, swallowing your saliva as you feel him come closer to you. This was insane. What was he doing? Didn’t he hate you? Was Shoko right?
“What are you buying?” He asks, looking at the book in your hand. He scoffs as he looks at it.
You eye him down hearing his scoff. “I’ll let you know Pride and Prejudice is an amazing book.”
“I know, I’ve read it.”
You look at him curiously as his eyes move from the book to you.
“You remind me of Elizabeth. Hot-headed and always thinks you’re right. Oh and your quips, you think your so smart huh?” Suguru says, hands in his pockets as he stares you down. What was he saying? Satoru told him to be nice and confess his ever so obvious ‘feelings’ for you but he didn’t understand. What feelings were Satoru talking about? The feeling of his stomach turning every time he saw you? How he craved to be near you, to see what you were doing. To see you walk around in your own world?
“Oh? You remind me of Darcy, prideful, tact and socially inept.” You say, finger pressing on his chest.
He laughs.
“You wish I was the Darcy to your Elizabeth.” I wish it too.
You huff, crossing your arms. It drove him crazy how you looked. Your clothes matching his. He stares at you, observing the way your hair parted and how your lips were sewed tightly into a frown. It was cute.
To the untrained eye, you would’ve looked like a couple in a small argument. In your eyes, you wished he was your boyfriend and having a small argument. Yet, you knew it was probably never happening.
“Whatever…” You blow him off, trudging off to the counter to pay for your book, Suguru following closely behind you.
“Just this please.” You say to the lady at the counter, old in age. She smiles at you, her wrinkles becoming more prominent. She takes the book, smiling as she looks at you and Suguru who stands behind you, glued to his phone.
“You and your boyfriend are cute, I saw you both squabbling over there and I couldn’t help but remember my late husband. We were just like you, always arguing.”
The woman didn’t take her eyes off the book as she talks, your face turns red as you bit your lip, unsure of what to say. You turn back to see Suguru, a small smile etched on his face as he looks at the old woman. His eyes glance at you. His smile drops before he clears his throat.
“Oh, we’re… we’re not a thing, we’re just…friends.”
Suguru feigns a smile as he talks to the woman. She smiles back.
Friends. Friends. Friends. The word replays in his mind. He wanted to be more than that. He wanted to be more than friends. Why? What was so intriguing about you? You were just some random person! Was he mad? Was he delirious? Had he not felt anyone’s touch for so long he was willing to try it with you? No, if that was true he would’ve gone for Satoru or Shoko. You appealed to him. What was it with you? Did you release a pheromone that attracted him to you? What was he thinking?
“Thank you ma’am.” You smile politely at the woman. She smiles back, sympathy and hope in her eyes. Did she notice your feelings? Seems like everyone noticed except Suguru himself. No, he did notice. He just didn’t want it. That was worse. “Suguru let’s go hunt those idiots down.” You say, punching his shoulder as you walk to the entrance.
You found them in a nearby cafe, by nearby, it was around a 2.5 kilometre walk. Suguru and you talked, smiling. It was the first time you did so in a while. The walk that lasted for roughly 20-30 minutes evolved from tension filled to dumb jokes and quips. Suguru watches as you laugh. He missed this you.
As you saw them through the cafe window, you wave out to them. Shoko smiles at you as she urges you and him to come inside. You nod, going to join them. Yet, a hand stops you before you could make a move.
What was he doing?
“y/n. Can we talk?” Suguru says, his voice low as he pulls you to the side, away from your friends’ sight.
“What’s up?” You scratch your skin, eyes bouncing off the walls before finally landing on his’. His’ that were already staring into yours. You gulp.
“I like you.”
huh?
“I like you and it’s stupid and annoying but you’re stuck in my head and i thought it was hate because of how annoying you are and that maybe you’re just an annoying monkey but when Satoru touched you I get tingly and I hate that and…” He rambles on, stopping to look at your face. “Oh my god you’re such an idiot but I goddamn like you?”
You stare at his wide eye, his hand still wrapped around your wrist. He stares back, awaiting an answer. Without a thought, you pull back your hand from his wrist.
“I’m sorry Suguru…”
You ran, ran off to wherever it was as long as he couldn’t find you. Why were you running? You liked him back? Yet, your feet carried you away. Your feelings were about to burst and you didn’t know what to do about it.
‘Run’. Your mind told you.
‘I’ll run.’ Your legs whispered back.
It was like you were just a mere bystander to your body’s conversation. You didn’t know what to do.
So you ran, leaving a broken man behind.
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waynewifey · 10 months
Text
dear mr. wayne — b.w
part one: dear mr. wayne
part two: aftermath
part three: aporia
epilogue
summary: it’s not easy being a politician’s wife. it’s even harder to love a vigilante. months of negligence make you an easy target to his enemies.
pairing: bruce wayne/battinson x reader
genre: angst romance & dark action
warnings: swearing; smoking; kidnapping; violence; a bit of gore; “you” is she/her; bruce is the worst husband ever btw
word count: 2.8k
A/N: i wrote this back in january 2022 when the batman movie had just premiered, so kinda off the hype here. i hope you enjoy it anyway. already working on part 2, let me know if you guys would like it! also, this has taken a path way darker than i had in mind so i’m sorry if it’s too much. comments are appreciated!
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gotham city, USA.
it's late.
you have no clock nearby, but you feel it in your bones. in your muscles too. it's too late and bruce should be home already. laying in the sofa, only half conscious, you regret telling alfred to go to bed. at least you wouldn't be alone. of course, being married to the batman you knew he would patrol at night often. you were okay with it. but lately bruce had been too focused on his other, and recent, goal: running for mayor. at first it seemed out of character, he was never good with the public or the press. but he stared at thomas wayne's painting in the hall in such painful façade, it made sense all off sudden. you were supportive of it. you showed up to every event just to stay by his side, to show the people the lovable man he was. the man you loved. the man who couldn't even be home for dinner.
the penthouse's elevator dings, opening its doors at the end of the hallway you see perfectly from your seat. your head doesn't lift instantly, like in the first week. instead, a long sigh escapes from your lips as bruce reaches the living room.
"hello, darling." he says, still in motion as he walks the stairway up to the room you shared. not a single kiss, or a hug. you follow him, because what else is there to do? you need to go to bed anyway. by the time you get there, slowly, his suit is already on the floor and he's taking a shower.
"how was the meeting?" you ask, knowing he usually did his Wayne Enterprising meetings — which consisted of hanging out long hours in bars with business men — at night. recently, he started a complicated relationship with a real estate company he wanted to invest in.
"the usual." he stopped fully answering these questions three weeks ago, making the only time you ever talked even shorter. the city has gotten more violent than ever since his batman duties were put on standby.
"any closer to sealing the deal?" you sit on the bed, watching the open bathroom door.
"probably." it's not like he's being rude. well, maybe a little bit. he just doesn't want to talk any more, it's clear on his tone. but it's 2am and you brain isn't working too well.
"when is this gonna end, bruce?" you finally say, as he puts his boxers on. "when are we ever having dinner again? or going on a date? when are you gonna stop treating me like i'm some sort of home decor?" you almost vomit out the words that have been stuck on your throat for days. surprisingly, the heartache doesn't softens. instead, it gets worse. it's like admitting your abandonment.
six months ago, you started trying to get pregnant. it hadn't always been a dream of yours, but the idea of having an heir to all you've spent your life building is charming. you realised you were in the right time to do so, you had just turned 28, bruce was 32, and both had stable careers. a month later, bruce announced his candidacy. and so soon you gave up. you told yourself once he won the election everything would be fine. you would try again. but, realistically, being a mayor was already a lot of work on itself. he wouldn't want a pregnant wife or a child to take care of. after the four years, who knows? he might as well have a new life project. and your family would always stand on the side.
"i don't know what you're talking about..." he doesn't look into your eyes. hell, he barely looks at you. that feeling, the negligence, is enough to trigger the tears. you take a deep breath, making an effort to look composed.
"don't you, though?" your voice is shaken. look at me. look at me. look at me. look at me. he doesn't. "bruce." you call, finally getting his attention. however, the boredom on his face knocks you off your feet, legs trembling in pain and anger. "i just want you to make an effort on us..."
"really? cause that's all i ever done." he's leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed in a way you would find attractive in other circumstances. but now he's yelling and you fight back the urge to shrink into the mattress. "do you think i wanna have a kid on this fucked up town? i'm tryna fix this. fix everything!" his faces turns red-ish. something inside of you makes you want to leave the room. you've always been an avoider, that is one of the reasons you hadn't really had couple fights. so, basically, this is very new. "i've got the weight of the fucking world on my back."
"let's leave then" you manage to say, replacing the you chose this. it was true, however, that he was the one to put himself in this position. bruce wayne could've gotten his entire life without working if he wanted to. but he always needed to save everyone, to suffer for other's happiness. he was a giver. sometimes you wondered if he needed to be saved instead.
"you know i can't do that." he mumbles, in a defeated tone. a sigh escapes from his lips, suddenly the tiredness takes over his face. it's almost enough to make you let it go, to internalise your distress again. he really can't, you know that. he feels that the city is his liability, because it was the only thing he had since he became an orphan. but he had you, too. he just didn't acknowledge that.
"and i can't stay like this." it sounds like an whisper, but it's a plead. choose me. please. he seems to read it in your eyes, face contorting in agony when he realises what you're asking for. me or gotham? it's stupid to think he would ever choose you. but you hoped, so desperately, because you would choose him. always.
"let's not do this tonight, okay? i have to be in the office by the morning." tears instantly fall as he turns off the lights and lays on the bed, turning his back to where you slept. for a moment, you're static. his words were final. were you ever in control of something in your life? why were all of these decisions being made for you? mechanically, you stand on both feet and walk to the door. you don't even notice your movement until you're on the elevator. your husband didn't intervene either. this neighbourhood is one of the safest in town, which honestly isn't much but you had to get out. anyway, nowhere is totally safe at 3am.
you walk two blocks, clinging to the fluffy sweater you wore. the depressing air of gotham slows your pace, to a point you start wondering if it was really necessary to be aware. you could feel the city devouring you, starting with your hope. the blue 24h sign lights up the street, in a way that isn't welcoming, but you know the place well enough to not be scared to get in. a bell sounds over the door and wakes up the male behind the counter. he's got long black hair and seems to haven't seen a good night of sleep in weeks. same,you think.
"hi. can i get the blue one?" you point at the camel's behind the man. he nods, quickly putting a pack on the wooden board. the prices pops up on the cashier's display. you pay and go outside. smoking was an bad habit from your college days, when pressure got too excruciating. every now and then you would treat yourself to some cigarettes, for the confidence it gave you. the sense of control to be the one, for once, ruining yourself. the smoke burns your throat on the first inhale and you hold back a cough. you're too entertained by the cigar to notice the black van approaching. it stops right in front of you, and everything happens too quickly for your brain to process. it's all dark.
he's in a meeting, the boring kind.
the kind that has him seated in silence while a representative talks to his employees, who never get to listen to their actual boss. there's a chart being shown on a large tv on the other side of the room. he's not listening, though. he's writing down ideas for a thanksgiving speech. a head pops into the conference room.
"mr. wayne." it's one of the new assistants, hired especially for the election season. he didn't care to memorise her name, because temps usually don't last long. if she hadn't called him, he might've not even looked up. but the room is silent, expecting eyes on him. the girl at the door looks terrified. "you're urgently required outside, please."
he sighs as he gets up from his leather chair. the second the door closed behind him, chatter is heard again. in the corridor, the woman conducts him to his office and they get in. there's a bit of a commotion, four men lounge around his table, all their faces tense.
"mr. wayne, i'm afraid we don't have good news." the head of the marketing team speaks, a man called robert vance. he's probably said the same phrase to bruce about seven times this month, so that doesn't do much. the assistant approaches with an ipad, unpausing a video. "we received this from an anonymous email about forty minutes ago. we weren't able to get the ip address just yet."
the video starts with a black screen, zooming out to show a woman with a bag over her head. she has her hands on her back and is kneeling on the ground. bruce's heart skips a beat noticing the hair falling down her shoulders.
"bruce wayne..." an eerie voice whispers from behind the camera, breathing heavily. "i've robbed an egg from your basket, and you haven't even noticed!" there's a disturbing chuckle and the video shakes a bit. bruce doesn't move, eyes stuck on the screen. no one in the room has done anything other than breathing. someone gulps. "it's been long hours, but we're having fun, aren't we, darling?" a gloved hand reaches for the bag, pulling it out. her face - your face - is dripping blood. you're biting on a fabric, still in your home clothes. bruce's jaw clenches. you're crying, face beaten, in this degrading situation. your eyes pierce the screen right into his. suddenly, a gun is tapped on your forehead and you close your eyes into a sob. your lips mouth please. "i'm running out of patience here, you're running out of time. let's do business, shall we?" he laughs, knocking the pistol on the side of your head, making you fall laying on the floor, unconscious. the spot bleeds. "here's my proposal: you come clean about your father's deal with carmine falcone and maybe i don't shoot little mrs. wayne... or i do both. it's your choice, really. the clock is ticking. tick tock, wayne."
the video stops, the sight of a gun pointed at your unresponsive body burns into his mind. bruce is panting, the adrenaline rushes into his brain. there's a million of plans being built, but none of them seem viable.
"don't let media get this." he managed to say. one of the men in suits says it's too late. the tv flicks on showing a news report on the video. he kicks the side of his table, the contents being thrown across the room. "FUCK! you bastards wait forty fucking minutes to show me this?" he screams, no one can look him in the eyes. a hand runs through his black hair. "meanwhile my wife is out there with a gun on her head! and what have you done? i swear to god, if i don't find her alive and well i'm killing everyone in this goddamned room with my bare hands."
he storms out of there, reaching to his phone to call alfred and noticing the multiple missed calls. fucking silent mode. the sun is setting.
"i got the address." the butler says, instead of hello. a 'ding' sounds in his ear.
there has been pain for so long. you try to remember before the pain. but all is pain. he has to make it stop.
the floor is cold cement and you feel so small in this huge warehouse. the man in the mask knows you can't run. not only you're tied up, but the will had left you long before getting dragged into that van. he sees it in your eyes. so he strolls around, always in that ridiculous dark green overall. then he beats you up for fun. no cameras. just you and the devil himself. you find yourself praying, after all these years. you don't pray to get out, no. you pray so that it ends soon. you pray that the stab wound in your abdomen will get you an infection. you pray that when you close your eyes, you never have to open them again. but the divine has left you in the cold cement.
there's an explosion. your eyes open. there's smoke and dust taking over one of the walls. you're seeing everything horizontally, cheek on the floor. the man in green is just as scared as you were.
bruce wayne busted that fucking wall down. he expected a full team of psychopaths and maybe some more security. there was just one coward in the warehouse. the thing stares at him coming out of the smoke, fingers fidgeting. the batman steps forward. the freak steps back. then turns around, runs to a half broken wardrobe and grabs a gun from it. bruce walks slowly. there's a struggle loading the gun. he takes the opportunity to run and throw the thing on the floor. he bangs his head on it. the vermin screams. he takes one punch. two. tries to reach for the fallen gun. bruce steps on his hand and the loud crack echoes in the room. he screams again. three punches. the mask is taken off. his nose is bleeding. more punches. he holds the neck. the head is turning purple. oh how he wants to kill this little shit. bruce wayne will kill him. it will just take a few more seconds...
"baby, no" at first he thinks he's imagining it. it's so soft, so weak. but he looks up and there she is. his hands loose. right on the corner, chains on her legs. her face is ruined from blood and dirt. her wrists bleed too. the motherfucker chained her. hell is too good for this thing.
bang. on his shoulder. he looks down and the blood is dripping on the freak's face. he’s pushed to the side, holding the wound. tiny white dots obstruct his vision. he grunts through the pain. the man gets up and runs towards you. bruce can’t move. he arches his back, trying to roll and lay on his chest. it feels like he can’t move his arm anymore, like his bones had detached. when he finally does so, the man is escaping through a window. his hand searches for the adrenaline-boost in his belt, grabs it and quickly injects on his leg. it takes a second to get his blood rushing again. he crawls up and jumps through the window, which leads him to a metal balcony.
you’re almost standing, but he holds your chains and a gun to your face. the shooting sound had scared you awake. you can’t believe how close to bruce you finally are, but the conditions couldn’t be worse. you can hear water running below your feet, you don’t need daylight to show you the violent river you’re standing above. this is not good.
bruce has his hands up in the air and is holding himself back to not do anything stupid. the man’s face is contorting into the creepiest smile. no.
everything happens so slowly, yet he’s not quick enough to grab you in time. you’re falling in the air and he jumped after you. for a moment, the world is air. you can’t hold out your hand. your hair is flying in your face, he does not want to die without seeing you one last time. his cape holds him back and the distance between you only increases. you’re gone. the impact comes.
part two
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Text
You Ruined Me (Do it Again)
a/n: the smut has arrived! Enjoy ;) - ✨
Warnings: smoking, possessive!sevika, SMUT: slight public sex, choking kink, biting, fingering, oral sex, strap-on sucking, strap-on referred to as cock, strap riding, spit kink, praise kink, light muscle kink, ab riding, sexually explicit teasing.
Summary: Your first night out in a while after leaving your cheating ex does not end how you expected it to...but then what did you expect, going to her club?
Word Count: 2.2k
18+ | MEN AND MINORS DNI | 18+
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Final
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The journey to Sevika’s place was a short one, but she didn’t waste a single second. The taxi driver mercifully kept his eyes on the road despite the filthy display occurring in his backseat. No doubt Sevika’s reputation preceded her, and he wanted to keep his teeth.
It was like no time had passed. You were melting in Sevika’s hands, her lips on your neck as she marked you again and again. Her hand was now shamelessly in your panties, her fingers toying with your slick folds and her thumb rubbing gentle circles over your clit which was burning with pleasure. Sevika knew what she was doing, applying just enough pressure to make you feel good but not enough to make you come. She had a lot of plans for you, and coming early was not gonna ruin them.
“Your pussy’s so wet for me, princess…”
You gasped as she pressed harder on your clit. “I…I missed you, Sev…”
You’re interrupted by the taxi stopping at Sevika’s apartment. You hurriedly tumble out as Sevika pays him and tips him generously. You shriek and giggle as she picks you up like you weigh nothing, carrying you to the door, and letting you in. She doesn’t let you down, choosing instead to grip your thighs, lifting your dress higher and grinding into your pussy with her own. Your eyes roll back at the contact.
Sevika laughs huskily. “God, look how wet you are, princess…”
You blush, hiding your face in her neck and kissing her there. “It’s your fault.”
Sevika grinds into you again. “Damn right, princess.”
She carried you to the bedroom, throwing you roughly on the bed, dragging you to the edge. She eyes your body ravenously and you know exactly what’s running through her head.
“Wait, Sev, this dress was ex-”
You speak too little too late, as she tears the dress at the side, ripping it off you and leaving you in your black, lacy underwear. You huff petulantly at her but Sevika only grins in response, pleased to be able to see you.
“I’ll buy you a new one, princess.”
You’re about to retort when she starts to kiss you again, overloading your senses as her body hovers above yours. Her hand drifts to your cunt and starts to stroke your clit again, while her mouth wanders elsewhere. She’s all tongue and teeth, she’s been starved of you for too long. She tastes you reverently, her tongue tracing your hardened, perky nipples, her teeth biting into them gently at first before she abandons her restraint and bites harder. She repeats the process, lower and lower, until your body is littered with red and purple marks, reminders of where she’s been, where she intends to visit again. She breathes in when she reaches your pussy, you’ve always been intoxicating to her. She parts your folds, and licks one firm stripe from your entrance to your slit. Your moan is nothing short of greedy, trying to urge your cunt closer to her face, desperate for her tongue.
“Sev…please…I need you.”
She flicks her tongue against your clit, teasing you until your whimpering and begging has reached a crescendo. She grips your thighs, keeping them wide and you know you’re in for the fuck of your life. She is aggressive and forceful, her tongue roughly pressing against your sensitive bundle of nerves again and again with no reprieve, occasionally lowering herself to probe at your entrance and fill it with her tongue, tasting the nectar building there.
You were a mess, falling apart under her. Nothing else existed, just you and Sevika and the feeling reckless pleasure rushing through you. You knew you wouldn’t last much longer, after all the teasing in the car you could feel your release rising in your lower belly.
“Sev…I’m gonna come…please let me…”
Her response was more rewarding than you could have ever hoped. She increased her speed, and the pressure. You screamed, threading your fingers into her hair and bucking into her mouth as you came. She lapped up every single drop, she wouldn’t waste anything you gave her ever again. Crawling on top of you, she kissed you fiercely and you responded with equal vigour, tasting your salty sweetness in her mouth.
Her eyes darkened as you took one of her hands, relishing in the sturdy weight of it in your palm, and placed it against your throat, making sure to swallow hard so she could feel it. A low growl rumbled through her whole body, adding to the throb of your aching cunt.
“You’re playing with fire, princess.”
You placed your hand on top of hers, encouraging her fingers to squeeze. “So, burn me with it already.”
That was all the encouragement she needed. In one swift moment, her hand clamped tightly around your throat, while two thick fingers pushed into your folds, curling immediately to draw out a load moan from you. Still reeling from your last orgasm, and the powerful feeling of relinquishing control to Sevika by allowing her to choke you, it wasn’t long until you were chasing your second high, your eyes rolling back while she relentlessly thrust her fingers into you, kissing and biting every inch of skin she could reach.
“Fuck, y/n, you feel so fucking good around my fingers…”
You moan loudly, you know she wants to hear you. “You always stretch me out so good, Sev…”
“I’m gonna make you cum til you see stars, princess. Just you wait.”
She made good on her promise, your second orgasm ripping through you like a freight train leaving you a twitching mess on the bed. Sevika gently withdrew her fingers, and you automatically knew what to do. Opening your mouth, Sevika watched, enraptured, as you sucked your juices off her fingers.
“God, I fucking love watching you do that, princess.”
She lets you come down from your high, your chest heaving as you try to breathe normally again, feeling thoroughly fucked out. She relieves herself of her clothes, and you take the moment to admire her. She flexes her muscles, knowing you’re watching. You see her fiddling with something in her boxers, and your cunt starts to throb in anticipation.
“Is that what I think it is, Sev?”
She looks at you, eyes glinting mischievously. “That depends. You want it, princess?”
You say nothing, you just stand on albeit wobbly legs before kneeling down, and stick out your tongue, waiting obediently.
Sevika grips your jaw. “Fuck, look at you, princess. Let me help you get lubed up, angel.”
She spits in your mouth, which you eagerly swallow, opening your mouth and widening your doe eyes to beg for another. Sevika growls, her own cunt now throbbing as she spits down your throat and you thank her.
She released the strap-on she’d been packing, adjusting it so the base rubs against her swollen clit. The strap is thick, a deep purple colour. You recognised it well; you bought it for her birthday one year. The harness was a comfortable boxer-style so it didn’t cut into her muscled thighs, and it meant she could pack whenever she felt like it without being too obvious. The worn leather armchair in Sevika’s room creaked in complaint as she dropped into it unceremoniously, straightening her cock and beckoning you forward. You crawled towards her, parting her knees so you could neatly slot yourself between them before licking a long stripe from the base of the cock to the tip.
You were a well-trained girl, this was easy. This wasn’t your first rodeo, and you knew exactly what Sevika would want. Taking the entire shaft into your throat, you made sure to noisily gag around it even though you weren’t really choking.
Sevika was utterly entranced by you. “Yeah, that’s it, princess. Take that cock down your throat like a good girl.”
You complied, taking it all the way to the base, nudging your nose against Sevika’s mound. Your motions pushed the base against her clit, and her large hand taking a fistful of your hair just spurred you on. You started to suck, eagerly, your head bobbing up and down, taking as much as you could each time you descended. Sevika’s moans and grunts filled the small room, music to your ears.
“Fuck me, princess, you’re gonna make me come just doing that.”
You removed your mouth from her cock with a satisfying pop! and smirked at her, standing up and arching your body, her eyes watching your every move.
“Can’t have that, can we?”
Growling, Sevika surged forward, her muscled arms trapping you and dragging you onto her lap. You angled your hips forward, avoid the strap and grinding your cunt on her abs instead. Trailing your tongue up her neck, you groaned in pleasure as the muscle flexed under your touch. You removed yourself from her neck and focused on rolling your hips. Her abs were as glorious as ever, toned to perfection and hard as rock. Like her neck, they tensed as you pressed yourself into them, teasingly at first. Then unyielding hands were pushing down on your hips, and there was no escape. Moans and whispers left your lips with abandon as Sevika’s well defined abs tickled your clit deliciously, bringing you to the brink.
Sevika grunted out a laugh. “God, you have such a muscle kink, y/n.”
You laughed with her breathily. “Can you blame me…look at you…”
You felt the tip of the strap near your entrance, Sevika’s eyes heavy with lust but always asking, always considerate. You gripped the strap underneath you and angled it towards your leaking cunt, ravenous for Sevika’s cock to fill you. As you start to swallow the strap, your pussy hungrily drawing it in, you feel Sevika’s arms wrapping around you, bringing you closer for a heated kiss.
“Don’t worry, princess, I’ll be gentle…”
You dig your nails into her shoulders, raking them over her back, invoking a shudder and a carnal groan from Sevika. You sunk down more, taking her cock until she was hilted inside you.
Your voice, cracking from your screams of bliss, comes out in a whisper as you start to ride her. “Don’t you dare.”
It’s been so long since Sevika’s been inside you, but your pussy takes her cock like it’s what you were born for. You speed up your pace, riding Sevika roughly as she grips the arms of the chair, a determined look creeping onto her face. Your own face flushes with delight, you know what’s coming. In a swift motion, she’s reversed your positions, now you’re in the chair, your knees pushed back as she starts to pound roughly into your cunt.
She hasn’t lost her skills, the way she fucks you open, pushing your knees open so she can go deeper with each thrust. She wasn’t wrong, you’re certain you’re seeing stars each time the strap pushes into and kisses your cervix. Her face is filled with concentration, trickles of sweat rolling from her hairline down her face, down her neck. You’ve seen a more beautiful sight, and you urge her to fuck you harder, faster.
“Oh, fuck…keep going Sev…fuck me into this chair!”
“You always take my cock so good, princess…your pretty little pussy swallows it all…might have to get a bigger one for you next time…”
You know Sevika’s close herself, her iron clutch on your hips is bordering on painful and her bucking thrusts are becoming wilder, more frantic. You’re loving every second of it.
“C’mere Sev, kiss me…bite me…”
Sevika leans down, attacking you with a bruising animalistic kiss that has you both gasping for air. As you recover, she nips your bottom lip hard, drawing blood. Her eyes widen for a moment, until you lick the blood away and moan loudly in her ear.
“Fuck, princess, that was so hot…”
You’re so close now, heat roiling in your belly and your cunt clenching tightly around Sevika’s cock. She’s nearly there too, her breaths ragged and her legs beginning to shudder. You drag your nails down her back, scratching deep and hard. She has one hand at your throat, angling your face away and exposing your neck. The other hand is pressing into your clit, rubbing in frenzied motions, sending your orgasm hurtling to the edge. All it takes is for her to bite in your neck with brutal force, and you’re squirting all over her cock, your pussy giving her everything it can. The sight of you creaming all over her strap sends Sevika over the edge, roaring and thrusting into you one final time as she comes, soaking her boxers, her grip on you unwavering as her orgasm courses through her. Seconds pass, minutes too as the two of you breathe through your highs, still connected and holding onto each other like lifelines.
You whine when Sevika pulls out of you, your cum still dripping down your thighs. You feel fucked dumb, barely registering Sevika leaving to use the bathroom and returning with a warm, damp washcloth. She’s gentle, cleaning you up and dressing you in a pair of her boxers and an old shirt that smells like her woody cologne and cigarettes. She guides you into a comfortable position in the bed, climbing in herself and wrapping herself around you. She’s only wearing a clean pair of boxers, heat pleasantly radiating from her arms and chest and seeping into your skin. She kisses you softly in the space behind your earlobe and your eyes flutter closed.
The last things you hear before being lulled into sleep is Sevika murmuring into your ear. “I love you, my sweet princess. I never stopped, and I never will. You’re mine, and I promise I’m yours.”
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willalove75 · 11 months
Text
Alcina's New Maid Pt. 7 Lady Dimitrescu x Reader
Summary: Lady Dimitrescu brings you in as one of her maids, at least, that's what you thought she brought you to the castle for.
Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, depression themes
Tags: flirty, fluff, slow burn, smut, angst.
Notes: Part 7!! Yet another angsty chapter! Poor reader is heart broken
Click here for the rest of the series
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The sound of the breakfast bell wakes you up in the morning, your head is pounding and your eyes feel swollen. That's what you get for crying yourself to sleep. To your surprise, you're not sad or broken hearted when you wake up. In all honesty, you feel nothing. A feeling of numbness resides in your chest. The breakfast bell rings again and you stay unmoving in your bed. All motivation to get up is nowhere to be found, you pull the duvet back over your head and fall back asleep.
Alcina enters the dining room as the girls appear from their swarms. She immediately notices that your chair is empty, thinking to herself, and secretly hoping, you're just running behind this morning. When the second bell rings and you're nowhere to be found, Alcina redirects her guilt into frustration.
"Where's y/n?" Cassandra asks.
"I don't know, I haven't seen her since dinner last night." Daniela says.
"I walked her down to the kitchen last night," Bela says. Alcina freezes and tries to keep her composure as she listens to her daughter speak. "She seemed weird, like something was bothering her."
"Did she say anything when you got to her room?" Daniela asks.
"No, well, I didn't walk her all the way to her room." Bela says quietly, looking over at her mother, expecting to be reprimanded for letting you go by yourself. Alcina releases a breath she didn't realize she was holding, relieved her daughter didn't witness the maiden leaving her chambers and turns her attention back to her breakfast. "But I walked her to the top of the stairs! I mean her room is only like 50 feet away and no one else was around!" She says preemptively defending herself.
"Mom you're not gonna yell at her for letting y/n go back to her room by herself?!" Cassandra says.
"Really! I got in so much trouble for walking away from her for two seconds and Bela gets away with totally abandoning her?!" Daniella argues.
"She was fine! If anything would have happened I would have heard it!" Bela argues back.
"And it would have been too late if that crazy maid jumped out and stabbed her!" Daniela yells.
Images of Stefana standing above you with the knife in her hand flashes before Alcina's eyes as she tightens her grip on her wine glass.
"Mom I can't believe you're not doing anything about this! It's SO unfair!"
More images flash before Alcina's eyes, this time of Mother Miranda dragging you into the lab and experimenting on you. Having to watch on helplessly as you cry out for her as you suffer. She can picture the sinister smile Mother Miranda would have across her face, watching Alcina slowly break as she watches you die.
The girls continue to argue, quickly wearing down Alcina's already limited patience as they get louder and louder.
"ENOUGH." Alcina roars. "This conversation is finished, I don't want to hear another word about it."
"But mom!" Daniela and Cassandra say in unison.
"I said enough." She hisses.
The girls fall silent and quietly eat their breakfast.
Alcina picks at her plate, her appetite is suddenly lost but she tries to keep up appearances so the girls don't question her any more than they already have.
"Good morning my Lady." Zina says as she walks into the dining room.
"Good morning Zina."
"Has y/n not joined you for breakfast this morning?" She asks, mildly concerned.
"I suppose she hasn't." Alcina says.
"Would you like me to prepare a tray and bring it to her chambers?"
"Oh! I can bring it! I want her to keep reading to me!" Daniela says.
"Absolutely not." Alcina says to her daughter, once again turning her fears and guilt into frustration and anger. "If she doesn't want to join us for meals that's her decision. I will not be giving anyone special privilege's or making more work for my staff to accommodate laziness."
The girls exchange looks, surprised at their mother's response.
"As you wish my Lady. Is there anything else you need?" Zina says.
"That's all."
The remainder of the meal is oddly quiet as the girls exchange looks while Alcina's mind drifts off.
After breakfast the girls congregate in the library.
"What was that?" Cassandra asks.
"Wow mom really wasn't in a good mood this morning." Daniela replies.
"They're both been super weird. I asked y/n about it last night and she just made up some 'it's been an off week' response, but I could hear her heartrate increase so she was definitely lying."
"You think they got into a fight?" Daniela asks.
"I doubt it, I mean they weren't even really together. What's there to fight about?" Cassandra says.
The door to the library opens and they hear Alcina humming to herself, the girls burst into swarms and scatter.
You wake up a few hours later, glancing over at the clock you realize it's almost lunch time. The thought of eating makes you nauseous, the numbness in your chest still lingers, solidifying its place in your body. Every ounce of you wants to stay in bed but your bladder is begging you to move. Reluctantly you get out of bed and walk into the bathroom to pee. You splash some water on your face after you wash your hands and look in the mirror.
"Wow I look like shit." You say to yourself.
Your eyes are still a little puffy and the dark circles under your eyes are more prominent than ever. Flashes of memories from last night appear, the young maidens face, her shaking legs, the look of surprise, then shame on Alcina's face. A pain shoots through your chest that steals your breath for a moment. The pain disappears as quickly as it appeared, the numbing feeling returning to its place. You make your way back into the bedroom, pulling the thick curtains closed before crawling back into bed. The lunch bell rings as you drift back off to sleep.
The maids serve the women of the castle lunch, Alcina catches herself staring at your empty chair, snapping out of it when her meal is placed in front of her. She lights a cigarette and takes a long drag from it, blowing the smoke out of the corner of her mouth. Aside from the clicking of silverware and the faint crackling of Alcina's cigarette, lunch is unusually quiet.
After lunch Alcina makes her way into her study, the last thing she wants to do right now is more work but she has a business to run and she can't fall behind. It takes her twice as long to do her paperwork because she keeps getting distracted. Every time she hears a small noise she pauses to listen closely to see if it's you. Once she rules out that you were the source of the noise she strains her ears to listen for your heartbeat. When she's finally able to find it, she listens to it for a minute. It hasn't changed in the last few hours so she assumes you're asleep. Alcina continues this pattern for the majority of the afternoon, she tries her best to focus and put a dent into the paperwork she has to do but its no use. Abandoning her work for the time being she makes her way back to her chambers.
She sheds her hat and gloves and paces back and fourth, running her fingers through her hair, struggling with the war waging inside of her.
In your bed you wake up again, grateful to realize most of the day has passed. You hear the familiar sound of heels clacking against the floor, the sound of Alcina's bedroom door opening and closing. Hearing her pacing back and fourth in her chambers you find the rhythm oddly soothing and you close your eyes once more.
Alcina immediately notices a change in your heartbeat, she pauses for a moment to listen and continues to pace. Your heartbeat slows once more, it dawns on her that you can probably hear her pacing in her chambers as your breath begins to match her steps. A small smile crosses her face for a moment knowing she was able to bring you some peace. The smile quickly fades and is replaced with a scowl when she realizes the thought that just crossed her mind.
A low growl rumbles in her chest as she grows frustrated with herself. She grabs the bottle of wine off of her vanity and makes her way into the bathroom to draw herself a bath.
"To hell with the glass." She thinks as she drinks straight from the bottle.
After shedding her clothes, jewelry and hair pins, she lowers herself in the tub and closes her eyes, the warm water soothing her. The relaxing sensation only lasts for a few minutes when she hears your heartrate pick up once more. Her ears focused on you, she hears you walk across your room, probably into your bathroom. As hard as she tries she can't seem to stop herself from listening to your heartbeat. Aggravated, she slides down into the tub submerging herself completely under water. Grateful that the water filling her ears was able to mute the sound of your heartbeat, she finds herself momentarily envious of her brother Moreau, living under water must be nice since he probably doesn't hear a damned thing. Although she does shake her head at the ridiculousness of being envious, of Moreau. Out of the four lords Alcina finds him the most pathetic, a simpleton, his only redeeming quality in her eyes is the fact that he's an excellent physician.
Alcina breaks through the surface of the water and runs her hands through her hair, combing it away from her face.
"Mother?"
Alcina turns to see Bela standing at the door of her bathroom.
"Come in."
Bela takes a few steps into the bathroom, Alcina watches her as Bela notices the bottle of wine sitting on the floor next to her. Alcina closes her eyes and rests her head against the tub, acting as if the wine bottle was never there to begin with.
"Do you need something draga?" She asks.
"We wanted to know if you were going to join us for dinner?"
Alcina opens her eyes and looks at her daughter, confused.
"The dinner bell rang a few minutes ago." Bela says.
"My apologies draga, I must have not heard it." Alcina wonders how long she was under water for, it must have been for longer than she thought if she missed the dinner bells. "Yes, I will be joining you."
Bela looks at her mother with concern.
"What is it sweetling?"
"I don't want to pry," Bela says, looking down at her feet. "But, are you okay? You haven't been yourself lately and Dani and Cass and I are worried about you."
"Fetița mea dulce." Alcina says, reaching her hand out towards Bela's. (My sweet girl) Bela steps forward and takes her mothers hand into hers. "I am sorry that I worried you and your sisters." She says, stroking the back of Belas hand. "Rest assured I am fine. The stress from work has taken its toll this week, is all."
Alcina doesn't know why she even bothers trying to lie to the girls, especially Bela, who's basically a walking lie detector test. She sees the look in Bela's eyes when she knows her mother isn't telling the whole truth but Bela decides to not push the issue. Alcina rationalizes her half-truth with the fact that her daughters don't need to know the details of her love life.
"I will be down in a few minutes draga." Alcina says giving Bela's hand a small squeeze before letting go.
Bela heads downstairs and Alcina dunks herself under the water once more before getting out of the tub. After drying off she slides a nightgown over her body and wraps one of her luxurious floor-length robes around her, tying it tightly around her waist. She fixes her makeup, even though most of it washed off in the tub, she refuses to go downstairs bare faced, it's bad enough she's showing up to dinner in her robe. It's something she very rarely does and usually only happens after a particularly bad or stressful day. Alcina pins her damp curls and wraps a silk scarf around her head, giving herself a once over in the mirror before deeming her appearance just barely acceptable for dinner and goes downstairs.
"Good evening girls, I apologize for my tardiness." Alcina says as she takes her seat at the head of the table.
"Its okay mother." Bela says.
"We waited for you!" Daniela says.
"Well, some of us did." Cassandra says, eyeing the large bite missing from Daniela's dinner.
"Shut it Cass!" Daniela yells at her. "I bit into if before we decided to wait!"
"It doesn't matter!" Cass yells back.
"That is enough." Alcina says sternly as the girls fall silent. "I appreciate you waiting for me. Please, eat. I'm sure you girls are hungry."
As the girls go to dig into their meals Daniela interrupts.
"Wait, should we wait for y/n? She hasn't eaten all day, she must be hungry."
"What makes you think she's showing up now? She hasn't left her room all day, idiot." Cassandra snaps.
"I don't think she's coming Dani." Bela says, sympathetically.
Daniela looks over to Alcina.
"Eat." Alcina says to her.
Just like the two other meals of the day, dinner was unusually quiet for the Dimitrescu family.
The night carries on as you continue to lie in bed, you hear a faint buzzing noise in the distance and realize it's getting louder until it sounds like it's in your room.
Daniela emerges from the swarm standing next to your bed, for a moment you're grateful that you're facing the other direction.
"Y/n, can you keep reading me the book we started last night?" She asks softly.
"Not tonight kiddo."
You feel guilty, but all you want is to be alone.
"Aw, but-"
"Dani," you say as your voice lightly shakes. "Please." The last word leaving your lips as a whisper, trying your best to keep your voice steady and tears at bay.
All you wanted all day was for the nighttime to arrive, but now that it's here the numbness in your chest fades back to the familiar feeling of heartbreak and sadness.
Daniela disappears into a swarm of flies and leaves your room. You hold tightly onto your pillow as tears soak into the pillowcase.
After dinner Alcina locks herself in her chambers for the night and writes in her diary.
How could she miss every meal today? How incredibly selfish.
She writes, trying her hardest to cling to anger and frustration, desperately trying to keep it from forming into guilt and sadness.
Is this how she repays me? After I brought her into my home, I clothed her, fed her, put a roof over her head, after I gave her work, gave her a purpose that wasn't raising those children. After I rescued her from that awful house and that pathetic manthing she called her uncle, after I protected her, from both that wretched maid and Mother Miranda. After I cared for her, nursed her back to health, after I lov-
Alcina's breath hitches when she realizes what she's writing.
After I loved her, after I-
Tears begin to roll down her cheeks and onto the page.
After I broke her heart, after I hurt her so deeply.
"Oh goddamnit Alcina." She says quietly as she becomes frustrated with herself, her tears falling faster.
What have I done? Could I ever forgive someone if they did to me what I've done to her? I don't think I could. How could I know that I could ever trust them again?
I wish so deeply that Mother Miranda never set eyes on her. Never suggested to use her in her experiments. Even if it was just to give me enough time to figure out how to keep her safe from Mother. If I just spoke to her, told her how both I love and fear Mother Miranda, how I could never repay her for giving me my girls, how I yearn for her approval, how deeply I want her to be proud of me yet how I hate her for turning me into what I am.
If I only told her my true feelings for her. Told her how I feared for her, how I only wanted to keep her safe. I fear it's too late and the damage is too great for her to ever speak to me again. Never have I regretted something to deeply in my life.
Closing her diary, Alcina covers her face with her hands.
The following morning you wake up to the smell of breakfast. Confused, you roll over and see a tray on the nightstand beside your bed, assuming you slept through the breakfast bells. You know you have to eat, but truthfully the thought of food makes you want to puke a little. Reluctantly, you grab a piece of toast and take a few bites and toss it back onto the plate. The numbness in your chest is back and you're almost grateful for it, since the alternative seems to be crippling heartbreak and sadness. After crying yourself to sleep for the second night in a row, you've grown tired of the feeling.
Walking into the bathroom you stare at the shower. You feel a little grimey from laying in bed all day yesterday and you know you should jump in but the amount of effort it's taking just to convince yourself to get in is exhausting. Fighting the numbness and urge to climb back into bed, you shut the bathroom lights off to bring you some comfort and get into the shower. The hot water sooths you as it runs over your body. A fleeting moment of relaxation is stolen when the numbness breaks, flooding you with heartbreak once more. Grateful the running water seems to drown out your sobs, you slide down the shower wall and sit on the floor as the water pours over you, letting out the sadness you've been keeping in. After some time you feel like you've run out of tears to cry. You take a deep breath and stand up and make your way out of the shower. Once you're dried off you put on a clean pair of pajamas and once again climb back into bed.
The next few days go the same way, you wake up with the breakfast tray next to you, you eat a few bites of the most simple item on the tray and roll back over. You're either asleep, or pretend to be, when the maids come in and switch out each barely touched tray of food with the next meal. Like the meals prior, you take a few small bites and give up. The numbness in your chest only grows, making its way down to your stomach where it steals most of the little appetite you have left. You feel it spread through your limbs, making it almost impossible to pull yourself out of bed for the most simple tasks. Each night the numbness falls away allowing the desperation and heartbreak to eat away at you. You're grateful you're not crying yourself to sleep anymore, but you've cried so much the last few days you're probably too dehydrated to produce any more tears.
Your absence doesn't go unnoticed by the girls or Alcina when you continue to not show up for each meal. After the first day Alcina made sure each meal was brought up to you to at least try and get you to eat. Every time a tray was taken away she noted how little you've eaten and her concern for you only grew.
The girls keep coming into your room and trying to talk to you, it breaks your heart to act so cold towards them but there isn't a ounce of you that wants to talk to anyone. After another visit you pull yourself out of bed and lock the door hoping it will keep them out and you crawl back into bed.
Some time goes by and you hear the door handle jiggle, you hold your breath for a moment and release it when it stops and you hear footsteps retreating. Glancing over at the clock you realize it's just passed dinner time and it was probably a maid bringing you your meal.
Alcina makes her way towards her study after dinner, she's barely gotten any work done the last week, too distracted and distraught. She was hoping to talk to you when you came out of your room but she's concerned you may never leave. Deep in thought she passes Zina with your dinner tray, heading back towards the kitchen.
"Zina why was that not brought to y/n's chambers?"
"Good evening my Lady. Her door was locked, I was just on my way to retrieve my spare key."
"Why do you not carry it on you?"
"Will all due respect my Lady, if I carried every spare key you've given me on my person it would take me twice as long to complete my tasks I'd be so weighed down." She says with a smile.
Alcina lightly chuckles.
"I suppose that's fair. I'll take the tray to her, I have a set of spare keys in my chambers. No need for you to make your way all the way down to the kitchen and back up."
"It's no trouble my Lady-"
"I insist."
"Of course."
Zina hands the tray to Alcina, what Zina needed two hands to hold Alcina can easily carry it with one of hers.
"Have a good evening my Lady." Zina says with a small bow.
"Good night Zina."
Alcina goes to her chambers and gets her set of spare keys and makes her way to your door. She takes a deep breath before placing the key into the keyhole and unlocking the door. After another breath she opens the door and steps through the threshold.
As you lay in bed you can hear someone fiddling with the doorknob and you her a small "click" as the door unlocks. A moment later the door opens and you're enveloped by the scent of Alcina's perfume. You never thought a scent could invoke such strong emotions but as soon as you smell her perfume your heart feels like its breaking all over again. You miss the scent, you miss how the scent was at its strongest when your head was curled into her neck, how safe you felt in her arms, the way her fingers ran through your hair, how her soft, cool lips gave you so much warmth when you felt them on your skin. Truthfully, you miss her, but your heart is still too broken, too hurt to do anything about it. You hoped that she just happened to be passing by when the maid opened the door but you hear her heels on the floor, slowly stepping towards you and you see her shadow cast across the bed. If your back wasn't turned you don't think you would be able to stop yourself from staring at her.
Alcina walks into your room and can immediately hear your heartbeat increase, it brings her some comfort to know you knew it was her entering your room right away. She takes a few steps forward and stands there for a moment, hoping you'll turn towards her.
The tears begin to build in your eyes and you try your hardest to hold onto them until she leaves. Part of you so desperately wants her to scoop you up into her arms and hold you and the other part of you wishes she'll walk away and leave you alone forever.
Alcina hears your heartbeat increase. She picks up the lunch tray and realizes you didn't even touch it. Replacing it with the dinner tray she looks over at you again. She reaches out to touch you and goes to speak but stops herself, slowly dropping her hand. Releasing a shaky exhale she turns to leave.
You hear Alcina pick up the lunch tray and replace it with the dinner tray. She sounds like she's about to speak as you hear her shift but she stops herself. The lump in your throat grows so large it's nearly choking you when you hear her release the shaking breath she was holding back. The sound of her footsteps get further away as she heads back towards the door; you hear her open the door and the sound of a slight shift, knowing she turned around to look at you once more. Holding onto your sobs for dear life one manages to escape a second before the door clicks shut. Once you hear the click the floodgates open and you cry, you cry harder than you have the last couple of days. Angry, hurt, heartbroken, you want to hate her. There might be a part of you that does, but you also miss her. Part of you wants to hear her side, let her explain why she did what she did, another part of you doesn't want to hear it.
Right before she ducks out of the room Alcina turns to look at you again, she can hear your heart pounding. She ducks out of the door and right before it clicks shut she hears a sob escape from you, the sound crushes her. After she closes the door she hears you begin to cry again, harder than you have in a few days. With a pain in her chest Alcina leans against the wall and slowly slides down until she's sitting on the floor, placing the tray next to her. She brings her knees to her chest and tears fill her eyes. As she wipes away a tear that fell she hears a noise and looks down the hall, a maid had just come out of one of the rooms. Realizing the noise was a small gasp, the maid was not expecting to see Alcina, no less sitting on the floor in this state. Freezing for a moment, the maid doesn't know what to do.
"Go on." Alcina says, nodding in the direction the maid was heading.
The maid quickly makes her way past Alcina.
"Take this to the kitchen please." Alcina says, picking up the tray and handing it to the maid.
"Of course my Lady." The maid quietly says.
Alcina turns so her hat is covering most of her face but she's able to catch a glimpse of the maids face. Along with the slight look of fear, the maid gives Alcina an empathetic look as she takes the tray and walks away.
Once the maid is out of view Alcina leans her head back against the wall and looks up, trying to blink away her tears.
"How do I fix this?" She says quietly to herself.
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