#but leaving is by far the worst thing I've ever considered doing

[helen-with-an-a]

Something About Finals pt 1

Hiya, so this was originally supposed to be all 1 story, but then I wrote almost 10K words so I've decided to split it up so the next part/s will be out tomorrow etc. This is inspired by the Pokal final when Lena fell and shouted 'mein Knie'. I hope you enjoy

Lena Oberdorf x Reader

Part 1 : Part 2

Description: There's something about playing in a Final that R really hates

Word Count: 3.7k

Moving to Wolfsburg might have been the best thing to ever happen to you. Was it a huge risk? Maybe. 18 years old – almost 19, as you kept reminding your parents – and wide-eyed, moving to country where you didn’t speak the language and you had no one to call a friend to help settle you in. It could have been the worst mistake of your young life. Except, it wasn’t. Yes, moving had been terrifying … packing up your belongings into suitcases and buying a one-way ticket was something you hadn’t anticipated doing at such a young age. But the offer from Wolfsburg was too enticing. You made your debut for your childhood club at just 16 years old and the national team came calling a year later. Offers came flying in when you expressed to your agent that you might consider leaving the club. You had expected it to still be in the WSL; one of the Manchesters perhaps, or Chelsea, or Arsenal. You hadn’t considered even the slightest possibility that an international league was looking at you. But you couldn’t not go; this was a chance to play with the greats, to play in another league, to gain even more experience.

Your flat was small, a shoebox with a too small kitchen and an even smaller living room and bedroom, but it was yours. All yours. It also helped that you weren’t the only newbie … and by some coincidence, you lived right across from each other. You officially first met at your media and signing days.

“Hallo,” she said merrily. “Ich bin Lena, aber alle nennen mich Obi.” She stuck out her tanned hand, a wide smile on her round face. You understood the first part, but the rest confused your somewhat.

“Ha-hallo. Ich bin Y/N.” Your German was very stilted, but you were trying. You had a Club appointed tutor every Tuesday and Thursday to help you get to grips with the language. You had a Duolingo streak going, you tried to watch as much TV in German as possible, but you still weren’t the best.

“Do you want me to speak in English?” She asked, smiling wider at your relieved sigh.

“I promise I am trying, I’m just not very good.” You explained, you didn’t want to come across like a stereotypical Brit, you really were putting in the effort to learn the new language.

“It’s not a problem, I’m sure you’ll pick it up in no time.”

And you did … although it helped that you spend basically every day with Lena who insisted on being your personal teacher. At first, it was on your way to training, since you lived opposite each other, you car shared. She would drive as you fiddled with the radio, slowly incorporating more and more German into your conversation. Then the car rides became after-training coffees where you would spend far too long chatting the afternoon away. Then the coffees became dinners and breakfasts, and before you knew it, Lena had cemented herself firmly in your life. She was your everything. Your best friend. Your person. And you wanted more. You wanted your post-match snuggles to be more than just two tactile best friends recharging after a hard game. You wanted your shared dinners to mean more than just two friends hanging out. You wanted your daily cuddles, your shared wardrobe, your stuff in her shower, your pictures on the wall to be more than just friendly interactions. You wanted to hold her hand, and place kisses on anywhere you could reach. You wanted to have to hold you and tell you how well you played and how proud she was of you. You wanted to look after her and for her to do the same. Looking back, it was easy to see how innocent you were.

It took the team’s Christmas party and an intervention for you to finally admit your feelings for each other. Too many of the girls had become too fed up with the strange push-and-pull dance you and Lena were doing to let you get away with it. Ingrid had marched straight towards you as you stared longingly at your best friend, oblivious to the looks you would receive back when your eyes darted away. Ingrid took you firmly by the wrist and dragged you into the bathroom, instructing you to stay put as she disappeared again. You were too shocked to do anything else until an equally confused Lena was shoved into the bathroom as well.

“Talk to each other, for crying out loud.” Frido had shouted through the door.

“You both are head over heels in love with each other.” Ewa clarified. The silence that followed was so, so awkward. You stared firmly at your feet as Lena leant against the sink.

“Is it true?” Lena asked first, breaking the quiet. You took a deep breath, this was it. You gulped, eyes never leaving the patch you had decided to stare at. “Look at me,” she demanded softly. You shook your head. You couldn’t watch your best friend, the person you considered the most important person in your life, reject you. “Bitte sieh mich an, liebling.” How could you refuse when she spoke so softly, so sweetly? You let your eyes drift up, taking in her outfit appreciatively before settling on her chocolate eyes. As your gazes met, your racing heart slowed slightly, your ragged breathing evened out, your nervousness melted away. She always could calm you down. “Is it true?” she asked again. “What Ewa said … that you … love … me? Is it true?” Your eyes danced nervously away, unable to hold her intense stare. “Please,” Lena surged forward, one hand coming to your waist as the other cupped your cheek, guiding you back to looking at her. “Is it true?” Her eyes scanned your face, taking in the festive makeup, the blush that she was fairly sure was due to her proximity rather than any product you put on or alcohol you had consumed. You bit your lip, nodding slightly.

“Yes,” you whispered so quietly it was barely audience. She sighed, relief flooding her system (although you didn’t know that) as she closed her eyes. You also squeezed your eyes shut, not wanting to look at Lena as she voiced her flattery, but she really didn’t feel the same way and that you would always be her best friend and nothing more.

“I feel the same.” Your eyes flew open. The shock must have been apparent on your face as she huffed out an amused snort, her thumb rubbing at your cheek. “I want … this … us, for however long you want me.”

“You … you do?”

“Ja, of course I do.” You let out a surprised laugh. Never in your wildest dreams would you have thought that Lena liked you back.

“Do you wanna go out for brunch tomorrow?” You asked hopefully, a crooked smirk appearing on your face. She chuckled lightly, a loving expression filling her face.

“Like on a date?” She asked, raising a questioning eyebrow. You nodded. “Yes, liebling. I do want to go out for a brunch date with you tomorrow.” An infectious grin graced your features, hers following similarly.

It took three dates for Lena to officially ask you to be her girlfriend. It took another one for you to take initiative and kiss her. It took 4 months for you to properly confess you loved each other. After a year, you officially moved in with her. She was your everything and you were her all.

It wasn’t until the Euros that you realised just how much she meant to you.

You had always known this was a possibility. You were drawn in different groups, and then different quarterfinals, and then semifinals. And then you were facing each other in the European championship finals. Your home Euros. A packed Wembley and the nation backing you from their homes. All you had to do was beat Germany … beat Lena. Your victory would mean her defeat. Despite reassurances from her that regardless of the result she would still love you, you couldn’t help the nerves from bubbling up. Yes, you knew that logically she would never hold your success over you in that way – just like her winning wouldn’t change your feelings for her – but you were a worrier. After your Sweden game, you had spent over an hour on the phone, giving and receiving reassurances of your love, your pride and your well wishes.

It was barely 10 minutes into the game when it all went wrong. Funnily enough, you were marking Lena, stepping towards her to crowd her out of possession. You had succeeded as well, tipping the ball away just enough for Keira to collect it and start the English attack. It was as you turned around, extricating yourself from Lena … no, not Lena, it was just a German player, just a part of the opposition and not your girlfriend at this point in time … that you felt it. You had planted your foot and twisted, pushing off the grass to run into the open space. It was a move you had done thousands, if not millions of times in your life, both on and off the pitch. Something pinged, and then popped and your knee felt strange. You gasped at the pain, a shocked intake of air that had Millie and Leah looking at you in concern. The shout you let out as you went to the floor had Sara and Marina slowing their defensive block. Eventually, the ref’s whistle went when it was clear that you were not about to get up and continue play.

“Kid, talk to us, what’s wrong?” Lucy asked, her hand coming to smooth over your back. All you could do was let out a whimper in response, still clutching tightly onto your left knee, trying to push back the agony that was radiating through your leg.

“Medics are on their way, honey. Just hang in there.” Millie scratched at your head tenderly. All Lena could do was look on in deep, deep concern. She was frozen in place, near enough to the huddle of England players to hear the worry in their voices but not close enough to see your face. It was Lauren Hemp who nudged her, nodding at you, and telling Lena that you needed her.

“Obi,” you called out weakly for your girlfriend. All you wanted was her to wrap you up in her warm, strong, soft arms and tell you everything would be fine. Lena jumped into action, lightly pushing through the England girls to crouch at your side.

“Hey, liebling,” she cooed as she grasped onto your hand. You clutched it so tightly that she thought you might have broken her bones. “Is it your knee?” She asked, praying that it wasn’t as severe as it looked. You moaned, nodding slightly. The girls in the huddle around you all made eye contact with each other. You had gone down off the ball … in a twisting motion … and now your knee was causing you enough pain that you couldn’t speak properly. “Ok, liebe. The medics are here.” The circle split away, most of the English players leaving to regroup slightly further away. Lena had gone to move to the side as well. She could see the German team looking on with worry etched on their faces. You were good friends with most, if not all of the players – knowing them either through Wolfsburg or having being introduced through Lena in the 18 months you had been together.

“Don’t go.” You whined as the medics rolled you onto your back, looking up at her with tears in your eyes.

“I’m not, liebling. I’m right here.” She squeezed your hand three times. Ultimately, though, you were separated. You were loaded onto the revolting orange stretcher and carried off the pitch to a loud round of applause as Lena went back to the German huddle.

At half-time, Lena had tried to look for you on the England benches or in the tunnel but had no luck in spotting you.

“She’s still getting tests and stuff.” Jill took pity on the younger player, walking down the tunnel side by side. Lena nodded, clearing her throat slightly.

“She’ll be ok,” she said, more to herself than anyone else, trying to keep the nerves and bad thoughts from creeping in.

“She’s a tough little cookie,” Jill agreed. “We’ll make sure someone tells one of you if there’s any updates.” Jill had always taken an embarrassing aunt type roll in your life, keeping a solid eye on you during national camps and was one of the first to be introduced to Lena, alongside Lucy and Millie.

“Tell Poppi, uh … Alex Popp, if there’s anything to know.” Lena said quickly. Alex was injured and definitely wouldn’t be playing this game; she would be able to get the information and make a judgement on whether to tell the squad. Jill smiled and nodded before turning to the English back rooms.

Mixed emotions flooded you when the final whistle went. You had just won the countries first piece of silverware since 1966. You were European Champions. But it was at the expense of your girlfriend. You watched from the sidelines, crutches keeping you upright and stable, as Lena sank to the ground, head in her hands. You slowly hopped onto the pitch. You were slowed even further by the other England girls, they swarmed you, pressing kisses to your foreheads and gently squeezing you as you told them the news. Eventually, you made your way to Lena. She was in Poppi’s arms, Alex whispering reassuring and comforting words in her ears as they both cried. You didn’t clear your throat or make any indication you were there and waiting for her. Instead, you busied yourself with looking around the stadium, taking in the crowd singing along to Sweet Caroline.

“Hey, mausi.” Alex smiled at you.

“Hi, Poppi.” She pointedly looked at your crutches and then raised an eyebrow, silently asking you to confirm what she already knew. You nodded, a sad smile forming. She closed her eyes for a second, nodding and letting go of Lena and moving away, giving you to privacy.

“Hey, bubba.” You stood awkwardly, grimacing as you met her watery eyes.

“Hi.” She said dejectedly. You crutched forward once before Lena snapped out of her daze, rushing to you, and pulling you into a hug. “I’m so, so proud of you.” She whispered, pressing a kiss to the shell of your ear.

“I’m sorry,” you choked out.

“No, no, liebling, don’t be sorry. You deserve this, more than anyone else. I’ve seen you put in the work for this-” she stepped back, hands on your shoulders and she looked in your eyes.

“But so have you. And-”

“No, I won’t hear any of that. You are not apologising.” You sighed but nodded, nonetheless. “My girlfriend is a European Champion.” She smiled at you as she shook you very gently, quietly cheering for you. You couldn’t help the wide grin that appeared. It wasn’t until Lena scanned your body that she seemed to fully clock the crutches.

“Your knee,” she gasped. You hated telling anyone any form of bad news, but this … this was a thousand times worse than anything you’ve done before.

“I’ve done it. It’s torn. I’m having surgery back in Germany in like a week or so.” You blinked rapidly, trying to stop the tears from falling. You couldn’t even say the words … you had torn your ACL in a European Championship final … it made it too real.

“Oh, liebe …” Lena pulled you very gently back into a hug. “It’s ok. You’ve got this, ja. I’m not going anywhere, you will not be doing this alone,” she reassured you emphatically. You nodded, breathing in her slightly sweaty scent. “Now,” she said as you pulled apart after a long minute, but not long enough in your opinion. “You are going to go and celebrate, but not too hard,” she teasingly warned. “I’ll text you, ok?” You nodded, closing your eyes as her hand cupped your cheek. “Ich liebe dich.”

“Ich liebe dich auch,” you responded, letting her press a long and gentle kiss to your forehead.

Lena was true to her word in very sense of it. She had managed to finagle her way onto the same flight as you back to Germany – pulling both suitcases through the terminals and holding your hand for the whole duration of the flight. She walked next to you, never complaining at the snail’s pace that you crutched along the busy streets of Wolfsburg. She was the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes after the surgery, the familiar grip of her warm hand helping you reorientate yourself in the land of the living. When you went from two crutches down to one, she was there, intertwining your fingers with hers as you tottered the length of the gym. When you finally got rid of both crutches, she was the first thing you walked to. It had been a surprise for her as she entered the gym, coming to collect you from your rehab as she finished her regular training session. You were alone in the gym – something that was very unusual considering the session had just finished and medics and trainers should be writing up notes all around you – but she watched with nervous anticipation as you gave her a look she couldn’t quite decipher before you dropped your crutch and hobbled, very slowly, into her embrace. She had quietly cried into your shoulder as you pressed hundreds of kisses into her freshly washed hair. She was your personal cheerleader as she watched you run for the first time, laughing at Jule’s teasing comments from behind the camera as your progress was documented. When you finally ran on the grass, she had been like an excitable puppy – the unbridled delight she exhibited at your movements was infectious, lifting everyone’s spirits as the team watched on from further away.

Very tear you had shed; she had wiped away. Every harsh word and angry comment you threw her way; she had taken it in her stride. She had been your rock throughout the whole ordeal, and you don’t think you could ever repay her. You had surprised her with a fancy homecooked meal the day you told her about your return to full fitness. You had been given the all clear to rejoin team training that afternoon and you had been buzzing to tell her. It took everything in you not to spill as you arrived in the changing rooms. But instead, you had persuaded her, Jule and Sveindís to go spend the afternoon doing some light shopping, something that Lena had been missing out on recently due to your injury. You had rushed around the kitchen, cooking up a storm as you prepared all her favourite foods. You had just placed the finishing touches to the meal when she returned. You both had matching tears in your eyes when you told her the news. You were lucky, you where healing nicely and quicker than the average player. She had stood far too close to be considered work appropriate at training the next day, her arms wrapped around your waist, pulling your back into her chest as you listened to the pre-training huddle. She had snapped you up as her partner for every drill, ignoring Alex’s, Svenja’s, and Jill’s comments about sharing you with the rest of the team. You couldn’t hide your excitement from her when you were cleared to return to the match day squad. You had bounded out of the medical offices and straight into the gym, squealing in pure joy as you approached her. She set the weights down quickly as you barrelled into her. She had kissed you with as much passion as possible when the words tumbled from your lips, sticking a middle finger up at the jeers from the rest of the team.

It was a cold evening in early March when you stepped back on the field. It was poetic justice really that you offered Lena the most perfect cross into the box for her volley into the back of the net. Barely 4 minutes on the pitch and you were back. It was like you had never been away. Each time you were made as a substitution you had an almost instant impact, creating chances as soon as you stepped onto the pitch. Your first start back had been one of the best experiences you’d had at Wolfsburg. The players were humming with enthusiasm for you, Lena’s arm wrapped around your shoulder until you had to walk out. Despite being subbed off at 70 minutes, you were still hot and sweaty at the end of the match, but you didn’t care as you jumped onto Lena, laughing as she staggered under your unexpected weight.

“Sie ist zurück,” Lynn cheered as Lena span around in circles, you clinging to her as your joint laughter filled the pitch.

“Ich bin so zurück!” You stuck your tongue out at Lynn jokingly.

Lena had been with you when you received the email from Sarina. If she wasn’t, she would have thought you were dying with the loudness of your scream when the England team email popped up in your inbox. She had wrapped you up in her strong embrace as your tears spilled over. You spent the day on the couch, watching Disney movies and definitely breaking your diet, your weight fully on her as you snuggled, both of you drifting in and out of sleep. It had been a rough 7 and a half months for you, filled with many, many dark days. But Lena had been there to hold you through it all, to guide you out of the tough times with gentle words and soft kisses filled with love and hope. You didn’t know if you could ever, ever repay her for everything she had done for you.

And then you were off to the World Cup.

I hope you enjoyed it <3<3<3<3<3

[otomehoneyybearr]

Kagari Epilogue

The Beast Tempts the Little Rabbit

Pictures have been updated!

 The turmoil at the charity party came to a close without incident, and the following day—

Emma: "I'm sorry."

I invited Kagari to a tea party I held in the greenhouse of Jade Castle to apologize to him.

Kagari: "It's fine. Lift your head."

Kagari: "Is what I'd like to say, but I don't recall you ever being rude to me. And it's not like me to forget things."

Emma: "It was during yesterday's party."

Emma: "I made several remarks criticizing you without understanding the situation."

Emma: "And despite being told to wait in the room, I chased after you, charged at an enemy unarmed, and fainted."

Kagari: "Just hearing that makes you sound like a beast that accidentally wandered into human territory."

Emma: "As a result, you had to carry me all the way to the guest room here in the castle. I’ve caused you a lot of trouble.”

Kagari: "I think the cause of you fainting was my fault but... it’s fine."

Kagari: "Apologies are unnecessary. I’ve already dealt with the person I was after, to some extent."

This morning, I remembered what Prince Keith had told Kagari.

(If I remember correctly, the merchant's eye and leg were considered as unusable.)

(If Prince Keith hadn't shown up when he did, it wouldn't have ended with just that.)

I couldn’t help but think about the worst-case scenario and shuddered.

Kagari: "Also, I don't feel like I was criticized at all."

Kagari: "For starters, our living environments are vastly different. It's natural for our way of thinking to be different too."

Kagari: "You simply just expressed your opinion about that difference, yet you didn't reject mine, did you?"

Emma: "...Right."

Kagari: "Then don't apologize. It wasn't a mistake."

Kagari: "But in Kogyoku, lukewarm thoughts like yours can be fatal."

Kagari: "If you want to die, that's fine, but be careful if you go there."

Emma: "Understood. Thank you for your advice!"

I nodded, and Kagari, seemingly satisfied with all that he had to say, took a sip of tea.

I was almost enchanted by his graceful movements.

(Kagari doesn't hesitate to take lives.)

(But he's not just a cruel person as he gives me advice like this and even returned my wallet.)

Although we're still practically strangers, I felt that way from every one of his words and actions.

Kagari: "So..."

Emma: "Yes?"

Kagari: "Can I eat these dorayaki?"

In front of Kagari’s gaze was a table filled with dorayaki as far as the eye could see.

Among them was the dorayaki from the mobile shop that I had eaten yesterday.

(I remember Prince Keith telling me about it and snuck out to buy some.)

Emma: "Please do! I prepared them just for you, Kagari."

Kagari: "For me...? Then I’ll gratefully accept it."

While there was no change in his expression or tone of voice, the atmosphere around us seemed to have relaxed slightly.

Kagari’s hand reached for the dorayaki—but for some reason, he withdrew it without taking one.

Kagari: "..."

(Huh? He stood up.)

As I watched his movements, he placed his chair right next to me without leaving any room, and sat back down.

And he opened his mouth towards me.

(...?)

I was left speechless with a bewildered expression.

Kagari: "Princess, you're slow on the uptake."

Kagari: "I'm going to eat you, not the dorayaki."

Emma: "Wha... You bit me again!?"

Heat spread from where he bit me.

I glared at Kagari while holding my neck, and he stared back at me with his chin resting on his hand.

He seemed a bit disappointed.

Kagari: "Aren’t you going to say 'Ah' like you did yesterday?"

Emma: "I didn't say that."

Kagari: "Yes you did. It was cute."

Emma: "Cu... That's not the point. Please don't bite me again."

Kagari: "This is the first time I've bitten you."

Emma: " I remember you biting me yesterday, very clearly."

Kagari: "I didn't bite you. But..."

He lightly tapped the back of my hand that was holding my neck with two fingers.

Kagari: "I just lightly pressed into you with my nails like this."

Emma: "Liar..."

Kagari: "Unfortunately, I’m not lying."

(So I just assumed I was bitten and...)

(This is the worst... I wish I could faint right now. I feel like crying from embarrassment.)

Kagari: "I really liked that sound."

Kagari: "Won't you do it again? Misunderstood Princess—mmph"

Emma: "I've heard that the deliciousness of dorayaki decreases by half when it dries out, so please eat them as soon as possible!"

Intervening Kagari’s words, I forcibly fed him a piece of dorayaki cut with a fork.

Kagari: "..."

(He's really quiet now. Just as Prince Keith said, dorayaki works wonders on him.)

(But still... he must have noticed that I was flustered...)

(Kagari can be quite mean, despite his appearance.)

As I fanned my face with my hand to cool down, Kagari continued to silently eat the dorayaki at a steady pace.

Chewing, swallowing, and opening his mouth to take in another dorayaki. It was like an assembly line.

(Was Kagari opening his mouth as a sign for me to feed him?)

(...Perhaps as an apology.)

Kagari: "Princess."

Emma: "Oh, right, the dorayaki."

I pushed the empty plate aside and picked up a plate piled high with dorayaki.

(...It'll be fine, right?)

With a handful of nervousness in my chest, I offered a piece of dorayaki that I had cut into a bite-sized portion.

Kagari ate it without hesitation, then abruptly stopped moving.

(...Was it not good after all?)

Unable to bear the flowing silence, I spoke up.

Emma: "I made those dorayaki."

Kagari: "You did?"

Emma: "Just buying them seemed a bit bland, so I asked Prince Keith to borrowed the kitchen."

Emma: "I followed the recipe exactly, but it never turned out right."

(I should ask owner for some tips when I get back.)

(For now, I'll eat this one myself, and get another one...)

Kagari: "Wait."

He stopped my hand that was trying to move the plate away and returned it to its original position.

Emma: "Wasn’t it not to your liking?"

Kagari: "Who said that? It's delicious."

Emma: "R-really!?"

Kagari: "Yeah, I like the taste of something you're not used to making."

(That's... a somewhat puzzling response.)

(But I'm glad he thinks it good.)

Emma: "Thank you."

I once again brought the dorayaki to Kagari’s mouth.

He ate it, seemingly faster than before, and my expression naturally relaxed.

(Hehe, he's starting to look cute.)

Whenever I offered him a dorayaki, he opened his mouth obediently without changing his expression, and it was fascinating to watch.

(...I wonder what that was yesterday.)

●●●●●● Flashback ●●●●●●

Kagari: "If I kneel down and cutely meow like a cat, will I get your attention?"

●●●●●● Flashback End ●●●●●●

Remembering the sweet and fierce heat I saw in his eyes, my body tensed slightly.

The atmosphere was different from when we met in the city or when he was wielding his sword.

I hastily shook off my thoughts in response to the incomprehensible fear.

Kagari: "What's wrong, Princess?"

Emma: "Oh... um, I was just thinking that I'd like to try some authentic dorayaki while watching cherry blossoms..."

Emma: "But it's just a thought."

To cover it up, I hastily came up with an excuse, but Kagari tilted his head.

Kagari: "So you want to eat dorayaki while having a cherry blossom viewing in Kogyoku?"

Emma: "Yes."

Emma: "To do that, I'll need to learn how to protect myself better and become stronger."

Kagari: "You'll probably die before you become strong."

Emma: "...You're really killing my motivation, Kagari."

Kagari: "I'm just being realistic."

After pretending to think for a moment, Kagari took a sip of tea.

Kagari: "If you really want to come to Kogyoku, call me. I'll act as your escort."

Emma: "Really? Is that okay?"

Kagari: "You did feed me dorayaki, after all."

Kagari: "And as a bonus, I'll even teach you an easy way to kill someone."

Emma: "...I'll pass on that, thank you."

Kagari: "I’m just kidding."

Kagari: "But as a minimum for self-defense, you should have a short sword or a knife with you."

Kagari: "Even if you don't want to take someone's life, it's important not to be defenseless."

Emma: "Thank you for your concern."

Even in Kogyoku, known as a turbulent country, there are safe territories.

However, I learned from the owner that most people still carry swords.

(Talking to Kagari makes me realize the stark differences between my everyday life in Rhodolite and there.)

Kagari: "Princess, Princess."

His voice interrupted my thoughts.

Emma: "Yes, what is it...? Mmph."

He suddenly stuffed something into my mouth, and the gentle sweetness spread across my tongue.

(It's a dorayaki.)

I chewed and swallowed.

Kagari: "Is it good?"

Emma: "It's delicious."

Kagari: "Then have another bite."

Emma: "Mmph-- Kagari, what's gotten into you all of a sudden? Also, this bite is a bit too big!"

Kagari: "It's fine, you can handle it."

(He's being so forceful!)

(He demanded to be fed dorayaki, and now he's turning the tables and feeding me.)

(He's really an unpredictable person.)

(But... one thing is for certain...)

As I chewed on the dorayaki, I looked at Kagari.

His expressionless emerald eyes met mine, just like when we first met.

(What does Kagari think of me after yesterday's incident? I have no idea.)

(Just one thing...)

Kagari: "Princess."

(I feel like he's... grown fond of me.)

As I thought that, it seemed like Kagari had a swaying cat's tail attached to him.

▼・ᴥ・▼

[separatist-apologist]

Separatist-apologist lore beneath the cut

I dropped out of college when I was 19 and when I decided to go back, I had two kids. I was undeclared and I felt old despite still being in my 20s. I had a scholarship which required me to do daytime classes with all of the brand new 18 year olds and I felt wildly out of place. Before that, I'd been staying at home raising my kids while their dad worked and a lot of people thought wanting to return to the workforce was a mistake, so there was this immense pressure to succeed where I'd once failed.

The problem was not knowing what I wanted to do. All I really cared about was history and domestic violence and as far as I knew, there was no good career path that combined those things, and so I signed up for four random classes that had nothing to do with each other. One of them was called Serial Killers in America which was taught by a former police officer. Another was introduction to psychology, taught by a social worker.

I was sitting in the Serial Killer class one morning, way in the back where no one paid me any attention, when the professor (former cop, remember) began telling a story about being called to a house for domestic violence and I remember looking up at her as she said that too often, these things are a "he said, she said," and they're usually both lying.

And it just ignited something angry in my stomach. I was looking for an advisor since I'd been undeclared and I turned that day to the psych professor and asked if she'd fill out my form to be my advisor. As she was, I told her what the other professor said and how much it bothered me and she asked me what I wanted to do. So I told her, and she asked if I'd ever considered social work.

So began six years of perfectionism and the single-minded goal of getting my masters degree and working in the field as a licensed social worker. I remember my first day in orientation at grad school, someone asked if anyone knew where they wanted to be in 5 years. I was the only person who raised their hand. I knew where I wanted to be.

And for the last three years, I got to live that dream. The good, the bad, the horrible- all of it was mine. And today I pack up this office I've worked in for the last three years because its all over. The work was always good and I'm proud of what I've done. I've published papers, I've sat in state-wide commissions, I've talked to legislators, I've presented at conferences and I've trained a new generation of advocates who feel the same passion I do.

It's no secret that people who work in this field are typically survivors themselves. Something about surviving it turns people into advocates, whether they meant to be or not. And often they manage to make it out of the metaphorical burning building, turn around, and decide they need to go back inside to try and get others. The amount of people I've talked to who say, "I want other people to know they're not alone and they can get through this," is numerous. It makes you optimistic, it makes it impossible to ignore the good in humanity even when you're faced with some of the worst people/circumstances you'll ever encounter.

And despite all the petty office politics, a system designed (sometimes purposefully) to make leaving difficult, and state legislators who push back every inch of progress we ever made, I will miss it. The work was always good. I'm proud of the things I did individually for folks, of the amount of times I got to tell someone they did nothing wrong, that they deserved safety and respect.

These three years have been the best and worst of my life, but the work was always good. I will always be in it, will always be standing beside the ghost of my childhood self, offering her a hand and a voice and I think if I accomplished nothing else, at least I did that.

[turbulentscrawl]

I hope you dont mind me sending a req and it should be angsty right?

I absolutely adore your modern reader and i very much like andrew. So do you mind me sending a request about the modern reader with andrew part 2? To connect with the angsty part, personally i want you to write something about how the modern reader feels lonely for being the only one who comes from the modern timeline, like feeling alienated or estrangement from everyone who comes from the past and struggling with the no internet or new media to consume (personally i think anyone who is from our time could probably feel a withdrawal of internet. I know i do. It suck and i look crazy when it happened.)

Ooo.. considering how our mannerism, fashion, and hygiene routine differ a lot from the past can also cause friction with others can be a good angsty idea. And also food, assuming the reader come from a well off family, their food would looked like what royalty ate. With salt, pepper, cinnamon cost a fortune back in time. You can go wild, i am sorry if this is a long req, i merely gives suggestion. Dont mind me if you dont want to write it.

I think this is the longest individual scene I've written so far! I got carried away ahaha. Actually, this might need to become a multi-part series. ewe

Warnings: fem reader (it was relevant for this), hurt and comfort

Another day of staring at the wall. Or the garden, as this particular moment would have it.

It had been about three months since your arrival now, according to Freddy. (Tracking the days was the one thing he was good for outside of matches, as far as you were concerned. The guy was meticulous with records-keeping, you’d give him that. But he was also a dick.) Three months of boredom, monotony, and a critical lack of stimuli.

The first few weeks had been fine, if only because you were too busy trying to survive a potential witch hunt. Turns out, being hated and blamed for everything has a way of distracting the mind from its homesickness. But the worst of that had passed now, leaving you to take in the reality of your situation: you were more removed from your old life than anyone else here. Your entire way of life was gone.

There was no internet, no television. There was a library, but it was only ever added to at the whim of the man named Orpheus. There were no cars, and there was nowhere to go. There wasn’t even a washing machine—everyone took turns doing their clothes by hand. The stove in the kitchen was gas, and fickle. The doctor, Emily, and Luca made efforts to introduce you to the ways of this more ‘primitive’ environment, but the sheer disappointment of it all made it hard to make an effort. The hygiene standards were different, too, and it was jarring to see what some of these people considered ‘clean.’

“What are you doing out here?” A voice calls. You jump a bit, rattling the chains of the bench swing you’ve occupied. When you turn around, the ‘Gravekeeper’ is behind you in his dark casual wear. The moon is but a sliver in the sky, so if it weren’t for the paleness of his face and hair you might not have seen him at all in the darkness.

“What does it look like?” you ask in response and face forward again. ‘Andrew’ isn’t a bad person, from what you can tell. He doesn’t seem to hate you like some of the others do. But he’s defensive, sticks his foot in his mouth a lot, and you’re too tired for an argument.

“…It’s past curfew,” he says, voice moving around the swing slowly. He’s in your periphery now, hands folded over his chest like he’s still holding that shovel of his. It’s some kind of comfort item for him, you think, but he doesn’t have it with him.

“Luca said that’s just a suggestion,” you reply. “And even if it’s not, you’re out here too.” Andrew pauses after you say that, awkwardly shuffling in his spot, looking between you and the garden. There are no birds, no crickets out. You can hear him swallow thickly in the silence.

“I saw you from the upstairs window,” he says slowly. “I…thought I should come check.”

“Why?” You’re waiting for a ball to drop. To be tricked.

“You’ve been quiet lately,” Andrew says, wiping his hands on his pants. Sweat, maybe. “When you first showed up…I thought you were really loud. You and that little box both…. You used to play that terr— eh, that music on it all the time. But I haven’t heard it in a while.” Your eyes are drawn to him as he explains. You can’t help it, you’re stunned. Not many of the other survivors bothered to show concern for you, and they often weren’t around because they had their on things to attend to. Luca had his inventions, Ada had Emil’s treatments, Luchino his research. You didn’t know Andrew paid any mind to you. He mostly kept to himself.

“I’m stewing,” you whisper, answering his initial question.

“…Do you…need to talk about it?” he asks.

“You don’t want to hear it,” you reply quickly. Andrew scoffs, a flash of his attitude returning.

“I asked didn’t I? I may not understand half the stuff you say but that doesn’t mean by ears don’t work,” he snaps weakly. It sounds like something someone back home would say. It sounds genuine. You look at Andrew again, now with tears in your eyes and a lump in your throat.

“I feel gross,” you croak. Andrew was scowling for a second, but your words shock his face back into something more relaxed. He shifts around again, awkward, unsure, and steps towards the bench. You stop rocking it long enough to let him join you and he sits closer than you would have expected. “I hate it here.” Andrew nods, watching your face, your fidgeting hands, your bouncing knees, and everything spills out like vomit.

“It’s all gone. Everything I knew. There’s nothing to do here besides survive, necessities and shit, and everyone fucking hates me here. No one talks like I’m used to, or behaves like I’m used to, or treats me like I’m used to—but I’m the odd one out so it feels like it’s all my fault that I don’t fit in. I miss my friends, my clothes, my room, my food. I miss my movies, I miss my technology, I miss my products—you guys don’t even treat hygiene the same way we did back home for fuck’s sake--” You’d learned early on that it was considered odd to bathe daily. Water reserves weren’t a concern in the manor, but everyone mostly stuck to the routines they knew. The only saving grace was that you hadn’t had a menstrual cycle since before you arrived. One less thing to worry about, at least.

“—and thank god, because none of you even KNOW what a tampon is!” Andrew makes a face that’s something between embarrassment and horror. You can tell from the way he’s subtly looking himself over that he wonders if he seems gross to you, but you’re too deep in your own misery to bring it up right now.

“And I’m sick of how some of them men here treat me! I don’t give a fuck what it was like for you all, I’m an equal to you all, god damn it, not a punching bag, or a whore, or unpaid maid! Like—I get that you all don’t realize what you’re doing—I get you haven’t been told it’s bad yet, but I’m gonna crack Edgar’s glass jaw if he suggests I wear a skirt ‘like the other ladies’ one more time!”

“If it helps,” Andrew says quietly, “I think that’s just him liking skirts. He’d probably wear one himself if he had an excuse.”

“I don’t care,” you gasp, grabbing Andrew’s forearm suddenly. He tenses under your touch, blushes. “It’s—it’s just all of it together! Look, I-I already feel bad being so angry! I understand why I seem scary, and I understand the world was a different place for me, but I hate that I have to say goodbye to all of it just because no one wants to learn about how things were for me! Fuckin—Emily was interested in how I lived through Covid, but all that got me was being treated like a plague rat. You guys don’t even get sick here! And Norton asked about the economy, but now he thinks I’m some rich bitch when I wasn’t even middle class! And Fiona acts like I’m some beast because of how I talk and curse so much! And Kevin asks about me feeling safe, but then he treats me like a damsel who needs constant rescue! I just…I just….it’s always something! I just want someone to treat me like I’m normal again.”

You crumple into full sobs, forehead landing on Andrew’s sturdy shoulder. He’s completely silent while you break down. His free hand eventually comes up to hold the back of your neck, a gesture that tells you it’s fine for you to be there, against him. Andrew is not a man of many comforting words, but this is enough, you decide. It’s an effort, which feels like more than you’ve gotten in some time.

You don’t know how long you stay like that, but when you finally calm down Andrew suggests you get some sleep.

“I’m not tired,” you croak. You are. It’s a lie. But if you sleep it will be tomorrow instead of being this moment of rare comfort. Andrew hums an acknowledgement.

“Alright. Neither am I," he says.

You think that’s a lie, too.

[nisuna]

Edit: I have since posted the fic, check it out here!!

hi hello, so this isn't my official "comeback" yet as I'm currently sick in bed 😭 so this is just a little teaser and explanation of what I'm planning hehe

So I've had this idea for a long time, so long that it was the first fic I ever wanted to write down on this blog and the idea that motivated me to start writing in general, but things happened so yeah I'm only now finding the time to finally write for it

so basically, it's friends with benefits geto x f!reader, simple enough, right? Well, not quite (if you're not interested in too much detail, feel free to skip my rambling and scroll down for some excerpts and quotes 😘 they'll be below the cut)

It all happened one evening when your best friend came to pick you up from a party for the first time, being tipsy and sexually frustrated one thing led to another and you slept together and from then on it kind of became your guys' thing

Whenever you were out and didn't end up with someone, you called him and he actually came to pick you up

You've known each other for a few years but you just couldn't get yourself to call him Suguru, it's always Geto this Geto that, even tho he would really like you to just call him by his first name, but you're like no no no nonono I can't

And if that wasn't bad enough, your tipsy self always added -san, so it's Geto-san whenever he picks you up haha

You've done a lot already, anything dirty you could think of, been there done that, but no kissing bcs that's too intimate duh, like having a dick shoved so far up it's rearragning your guts isn't yeah yeah sweet denial

So this time there wasn't anything unusual about it, he picked you up like always and you were down to fuck so what's the worst that could happen?

he miiiighhtt make you call him by his first name and maybe just maybe you do finally kiss???!

I'm also down for maybe a prequel to the first time it happened?? 👀👀

But in any case, enjoy an excerpt from the beginning as well as some of my ideas and quotes I plan to include :D

He never understood why you liked going out to the most shabby and stuffed clubs. It reeked of alcohol and smoke mixed with all kinds of bodily fluids. As he was making his way through the dancing crowd of sweaty people grinding against each other, he finally found you sitting at the bar while some guy was leaning in your direction way too close for comfort.

He had his usual fit, hair half up with a black over sized sweater and loose black joggers. Making him look so huge that if there were any guys bothering you, they would leave you alone as soon as they saw him.

"Yo~ y/n", he touched your exposed shoulder and gave you his signature eye smile, before staring down the guy next to you that was trying to get in your pants or in this context in ypur skimpy little dress. The guys' annoyed look turned into a worried one after seeing who he was up against.

"Aahhh Geto-saannn you're here early" you mused, leaning against his hard chest. That damn honorific, he cursed but still managed to squeeze out a smile.

"Haha "-san", so you aren't her boyfriend then." the stranger snarled but soon gave up as Suguru raised an eyebrow at him and snapped a "watch it". "Alright, alright, I give up", he put his hands up in defeat. "Maybe next time, sweetcheeks."

As soon as the guy left Suguru took both of your hands in his and knelt down in front of you. "Y/n we've talked about this, if you don't want to call me Suguru at least drop the honorific. We've known each other for years now don't you think it's about time. Also, don't you think it's weird when you call the guy you fuck by his last name, hm?" He turned his head looking at you expectedly.

"But Geto-saaaan-"

"Ah ah, what did I just tell you"

"Okay okay, Geto" you huffed, "You know I'm not comfortable with that", you whined, squeezing his hands.

"I just want to hear you say it at least once. Say it and I'll fuck you real good tonight.", he smirked.

You considered it, after a hard week you really needed a good fuck. "Sugu-", is all you could manage before snapping your head away, "Nope can't do it."

He let his head drop with a loud sigh. "It's alright. It looks like I was just pushing my luck. C'mon, let's get you out of here." And with that, he rose back to his full height, grabbed your hand and pulled you from the bar stool. While making your way through the crowd and to his car, your thoughts kept wandering.

Suguru... that's such a pretty name.

----------

"What's up with you today? If you keep squeezing me that hard you might actually snap my dick off.", he chuckled. He's way to cocky. You have to do something about that.

"Have I ever told you how annoying you can be. If you don't stop talking, I think I might have to shut that mouth of yours up myself.", you whispered putting your hands on his cheeks and pulling his face close so that it was right in front of yours.

--------

"Is it okay? Does it hurt?"

"No, it feels really good. I can feel you all the way up here", you smiled, leaning back and tracing your fingers from your pubic bone to just over your belly button.

"Fuck, you can't just say those things out of the blue" he mumbled sitting up, finally starting to pound into you from below.

"Wow that did it, huh?" you chuckled arching your back and clawing at his shoulders. "How naive, men are so simple." you kept that thought to yourself tho.

----

"Wait", you mumbled against his lips. "Don't pull out. Keep fucking me. Hurry up." How could he say no to you, even if he felt like he was about to die from overstimulation, he couldn't possibly deny you.

-----

"Fuck, I'm hard again"

"Then keep going."

-----

Look forward to the whole thing as soon as I feel better🙈🙈🙈 and feel free to let me know what you think!❤️

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

kdnfb's Ten Years of Fanfiction Mania

Featuring: Unmasked

Summary: Written under an Anonymous pseudonym ~M~ to fill the following prompt ~ Historical Katniss and Peeta hate each other. They attend a masquerade ball and for some reason end up kissing each other. Sparks fly everywhere. Katniss tries to find the man behind the mask but Peeta knows it was Katniss though he doesnt say anything. They end up bethrothed even if they 'despise' each other. How they fall in love is up to u and how katniss figured out it was peeta is up to u

Rating: E for explicit sexual content, explicit language, implied/referenced rape/nonconsensual (not everlark), implied/referenced child abuse, implied/referenced suicide, implied/referenced miscarriage, discussions of illness, war, and injury in a historical setting, ptsd, minor character death. They worst of these tags happens offscreen and is merely discussed and dealt with rather than shown here.

A/N: ~Unmasked~ is my longest fic in terms of word count (around 234k), although Outside Chance and Spellbound are not too far behind and are both incomplete. Unmasked started as something meant to be fun and cathartic, then turned into a ridiculously long and self indulgent fic that I still, to this day, have no idea if the anonymous person who submitted the prompt to @everlarkficexchange even read, let alone whether or not they liked it. But I love what I produced for this fic.

Why write it anonymously and only reveal myself later? A couple reasons. 1) Historical is not my wheel house. At least not writing it. I am a shameless consumer of historical romances. I did some research for this fic but not nearly the level I would've liked to have done. Eventually, I said screw it, it's about the vibes not the accuracy. 2) I had a pile of unfinished wips when I started this, to include Outside Chance and Spellbound (both of which are still unfinished hmmmmm) and I really didn't want a lot of questions about when I was going to get back to those while I was working on this because 3) I'd just gone through a small slice of writerly hell to the point that I seriously considered deleting my entire tumblr and all of my fanfic. Details are not important right now, the result is. That's probably the closest I've ever come to calling myself done with fandom.

Then this prompt posted to EFE and wouldn't leave me alone. Eventually, I decided that if I was going to write it, I wanted to write it with as little pressure as possible. So I chose to write and post it as ~M~ until it was finished. Plus, I thought it might make it fun for people other than me if there was a bit of mystery behind it. And I don't regret doing that.

Writing behind a mask allowed me to be as long winded and self-indulgent as I wanted to without worrying about how tight the storyline was or how accurate the historical details were, or wondering if I'd be walking into my tumblr and a barrage of the kind of messages I'd come to dread receiving. The only thing I worried about, really was if the amount and kind of smut I included gave me away prematurely lmao.

While this was my first real foray into the realm of historical fics, I am hoping it's not the last. I've got too many ideas and half started pieces to back out of it now. But those, like this one, will probably remain untethered to a specific real place, and a specific time, mainly because I just don't have that kind of time for research if I'm not getting paid to do it lol. They will be works of love if not works of accuracy.

Unmasked on AO3

[nerdalmighty]

What are your top picks for your favorite Good Omens fanfics? 👀

-AnnTickwittee

Oh my dear AnnTickwittee, THANK YOU for this ask. There are a bunch of great ones out there but here are some I've loved recently! Also, everyone PLEASE feel free to leave more recs in comments or reblogs or tags! I LOVE a good fic!

Weirdly, most of my faves were written before S2 premiered - PLEASE recommend me some good S2 stuff, and ones you'd consider staples in the GO fandom - I've missed out on a LOT of great content - help me find it/catch up! (Note: All fics listed below are COMPLETE and feature happy endings.)

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1. The Rose and the Serpent by @brightwanderer | Rating: M | Status: Complete | Chapters: 12 | Word Count: 55,795 | Published: 2020-05-31 | Completed: 2020-08-15

Summary: AU, retelling of “Beauty and the Beast”. Quite honestly, sending Aziraphale off into the forest to be held hostage by a giant snake in a cursed castle isn���t even the worst thing Gabriel’s ever done to him, and at least it means a change of scene. But then neither the snake nor the castle turn out to be quite what he’s expecting…

My Review: Fave fave FAVE at the moment! I discovered this one from this tiktok, fully thinking it was going to be a silly little romp and was instead met with beautiful prose, adorable banter, and moments that literally made me go "AWW" out loud (which I NEVER do). I meant to read a few chapters per night before bed and then accidentally read the whole thing in one go. I stayed up until 4am reading and then woke up 4 hours later STILL thinking about it. Aziraphale is the perfect lead in this one, with Crowley as the wily yet lovable snake that lives in a cursed/enchanted castle with some familiar faces. CLASSIC pining ensues. The author does a great job of world building and character development and I find myself wishing I could read it again with fresh eyes. It's beautiful and adorable and I can't recommend it enough. Favorite quote: "'I love him,' he said. 'Let me in.' And the gates swung open before him."

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2. a lighthouse (burning) by @books-and-omens | Rating: M | Status: Complete | Chapters: 12 | Word Count: 108,477 | Published: 2022-03-26 | Completed: 2023-06-13

Summary: In good weather, one can see the lighthouse at the Rock from the shore: a dot on the horizon, a distant star flashing red and white and red again. It’s been dark for a fortnight, of course—ever since the incident that every newspaper had breathlessly written about, that the paper-boys on the corners had shouted themselves hoarse over. This is where Aziraphale is headed: it is his duty, after all, to find out what happened, to make sure that the beacon can be safely lit once again. He does not expect Crowley to follow him to the windswept isle, to the lonely lighthouse at what could just as well be the edge of the world. Crowley follows him anyway.

My Review: THIS ONE! This one is a good old fashioned mystery! The humans believe this lighthouse is haunted, especially since its last three keepers vanished without a trace, but Aziraphale and Crowley know that can't possibly be the case. As such, they decide to investigate for themselves. It's an adorable slow burn period piece that had me weeping at certain points with twists and turns abound, and I really liked how the author handled the mystery and lore! Deep lore is tough to do convincingly and I found myself believing everything the author said. I can't tell you how thrilled I was when I KIND OF clocked what the author was going for with their mystery. Their explanation for everything was far better than anything my monkey brain could have come up with. Also that S2 ep of OFMD that featured a lighthouse in the beginning came out after I read this fic and I got all giddy thinking about Aziracrow here. I literally don't think I'll ever see a lighthouse again and not think of this gorgeous fic. EDIT: Also, here's a YouTube video that appeared in my recommended shortly after I read this. It's super interesting that disappearances like this have happened in real life 😱

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3. If We've Got Nothing (We've Got Us) by @kedreeva | Rating: G | Status: Complete | Chapters: 4 | Word Count: 19,897 | Published: 2019-06-17 | Completed: 2020-03-02

Summary: Two months after the failed apocalypse Aziraphale finds the first dark feather growing in his wings. A story about middle grounds, ineffable plans, and what happens when the world doesn't end.

My Review: Another fic I found on Tiktok. The edit itself was so gorgeous I decided to give it a go and was not disappointed. It was written before S2 was even announced so it takes some liberties with fanon (Crowley was Raphael in the canon of this world, etc), but it's a lovely, relatively quick read. Crowley and Aziraphale are on their own side, finally, and soon, others join their ranks. All while God watches from afar. The prose is beautiful and I come back to the tiktok all the time (I saved it onto my phone lol). It was also fun to go back and rewatch the tiktok after reading and realize that the editor stitched together parts from each chapter into something new and amazing. It's not a romantic fic, not in the way the others are; it cares more about the aftermath of an apocalypse and shades of gray and how the universe came to be in the first place. I love the POV of God reminiscing on creation and thought it was very well written. Absolutely loved this one! (@anntickwittee, this was the fic I was referring to in the tags of this post, which is probably what prompted you to leave this ask in the first place! 😊)

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4. All That's Best of Dark and Bright by @hope-inthedark | Rating: T | Status: Complete | Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 5,648 | Published: 2020-06-22

Summary: When Crowley drops a bomb on a church, Aziraphale falls in love with him. This should be a secret, but unfortunately, Aziraphale's never been much good at keeping them.

My Review: A one-shot expanding on the 1941 minisode (2019) BEFORE the S2 minisode canonically expanded on it. Recap: Aziraphale's just realized he's in love with Crowley (thank you Michael Sheen for that AMAZING acting choice) and this fic is the author's interpretation of what might have happened after the show cut away from the burning church. I was floored by how many parallels made it from this fic into the actual show both directly and indirectly (Aziraphale says "Not as such" at one point and I'm pretty sure I burst into tears and/or yelped loudly). It's got a good bit of angst to it, the same kind from S2 that makes you scream "WHAT ARE YOU DOING! HE'S RIGHT THERE!" with a happy ending that helped heal my shattered heart. I definitely cried reading this one (affectionate). It's extremely fluffy at the end which EYE LOVE, so if that's your thing, I highly recommend! Favorite Quote: "'I’m afraid I’m quite terribly in love with you,' Aziraphale said unceremoniously. Crowley, who had been in the process of sitting up, promptly fell off the sofa."

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5. the two shepherds of uruk by lupinely | Rating: E | Status: Complete | Chapters: 1 | Word Count: 24,963 | Published: 2023-10-09

Summary: After Aziraphale goes back to Heaven with the Metatron, Crowley reflects. And 4,400 years ago in 2407 BC, in the city of Uruk in ancient Sumer, he and Aziraphale fall in love with humanity, and each other. - “What are you doing here?” asked Aziraphale. Crowley lifted an eyebrow and felt himself start to smile. “I should ask you the same. What are you thinking, coming here with your wings out and the blessed light of Heaven raining down upon you? You’re scaring the mortals.” Aziraphale blushed. Crowley dutifully looked away. It felt disrespectful not to.

My Review: This one-shot is a love letter to history and humanity. I think I found it on twitter? Unfortunately I don't have a link to the tweet or the author's tumblr. What I really love about this one is that the author adds footnotes like the original Good Omens book does. You can absolutely feel the love and care that went into writing and researching for this particular fic, which I can really appreciate as a fellow writer. (For all my Bildad the Shuhite stans out there, this story takes place after, but the vibes are VERY SIMILAR. If you even care.) Crowley and Aziraphale are in Uruk to keep an eye on the humans as they try to build a structure tall enough to reach God (the Tower of Babel). Theoretically, they can both return to their respective sides, but opt to stay on earth (with each other) for 10 years to watch the construction unfold. Pining ensues, NSFW ensues, and as the author puts it, "now featuring Aziraphale as a little country girl tending her sheep ♥" I highly recommend if you want to be sucked into another time period/biblical story and feel MANY different feelings (with a happy ending!)

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I have more bookmarked that I could absolutely recommend if anyone is interested, but these 5 are just the ones that have stuck out to me the most recently!! Believe me, I could go ON, but this post is long enough for now.

If you DO read any of these, please chat with me about them, I'd love to hear your thoughts! Happy reading!

[ouroborosorder]

Arknights VFX question: Any highlights or personal favourites as far as the "Stick a whole background/huge jpeg in there behind the character" category of skills goes?

Oh I like this question. This made me consider things I've never looked at before, so thank you for that. I had to do research.

So, there's not a lot of ops like this, and shockingly, I don't have many positive things to say about them. BUT I did find a few interesting highlights I think are worth discussing.

First off, I will leave Eine Variation out of this, as I have made my thoughts on that Thing very clear.

But, my favorite skin in the game actually does indeed have the Background.Jpeg - Specter's As One!

Aaaand it's easily the worst part of my favorite skin. Don't get me wrong, i think it's probably one of the better executions of the idea, since it's like, a skybox, it matches the pallette, matches the artstyle of the skin, it's almost perfect. I wish it was a LITTLE less static, maybe have some distortion ripples across it like waves to keep the stars moving, or maybe have them twinkle a bit or something. But it's fine. But a good effect isn't everything.

Effects relies heavily on the principles of animation, too. Appeal, weight, color, and most importantly of all - timing. Having a proper lead in can make a bad effect good, and having a bad lead-in can make a good effect fucking terrible. And having no lead-in at all will absolutely fuck your effect and make it super clear that you took a jpeg from the skin art and superimposed it behind your operator.

Here. Look at the picture above. Now, I am going to tab back literally just one single frame in the animation and...

oh ...there's no fade in at all. It just literally appears in a single frame. It draws way more attention to itself than it needs to just by virtue of literally popping in. It's SUPER obvious that it's just Skybox.jpeg. If it faded in with some sort of noise mask (which takes literally less than 2 minutes to make,) it would be so so so much better. Again, this is my favorite skin in the game, and I already think S3 is quite beautiful, so this is nitpicking, but this skybox always bugged me a lot.

Now to say a sentence no one has ever said - going up a step in quality from Specter to Hoederer!

I can't fully get this one in a still image and I'm too tired to record a video / gif so just go with this, alright?

This one is ALMOST GOOD. ALMOST. IT'S SO FUCKING CLOSE. The texture is being distorted by a wavelike noise that is giving it the rippling effect of fire, which is the standard thing to do for making a stylized fire. The problem is that... The texture itself doesn't fucking move? It's just being UV distorted, just a bit of offset to the material and I just AUGH.

It's so so so obvious that it's just a static jpeg of fire that's being waved around like a flag to get it to contort into being fire. This wouldn't bother me if the actual fire texture didn't have implications of movement in the little waves and fades and stuff. I hate it it's so irritating it's so CLOSE. But also, animating an entire fire flipbook would have taken a lot more time, and I can 100% guarantee you the VFX artist is also unhappy with this one. Their A team was probably on Arturia or something. Speak of the devil -

I've had a few people ask how I feel about Arturia's S3 after I expressed my hatred for Eine Variation, and I am here to say - this unambiguously fucking rules, for a few reasons.

First and least importantly, THE MONSTER MOVES. The monster itself has slight movement, you can notice its arms wiggle a little and mouth open and close. This is a small thing that goes a LONG way to make it feel way more dynamic and alive. It's also being distorted by a noise like Hoederer is, which is quite nice as a touch, really helps to make that limited movement feel way more significant than it is.

Second, is that the texture is monochromatic, but in a different way than Arturia is. The grays are colder, harsh blue-grays to contrast Arturia herself, who is a very warm gray. This makes it so that it adds a really nice background that looks like part of her, while also standing out and allowing her to stand out against it. It's a really smart use of monochrome to create visual interest using just different subtle shades of gray.

But that bluish hue also serves to compliment the only color in the effect - the blue light from the cello. Your eyes are naturally drawn to brighter glowing things, which is also the only colored spot on the effect - the cello from which her Arts emerge. As a result, the Beastie.jpg fades out of your attention, becoming monochromatic noise, which, due to being just kinda chaotic and aesthetically dissonant, you interpret more as abstract Shape than anything else. That abstract shape then makes a cone which leads you down into Arturia's center, which is her cello, which is where her Arts are coming from.

This is basically to say - These are very emblematic of what I think makes good effects textures in general. They work best when they're not alone. When these backgrounds are part of a larger whole that's all coming together to make an effect, rather than being the centerpiece of the whole thing. When I notice the background, it's a problem, in my eyes. Maybe people disagree. They keep putting them in skins, and a lot of people thought the Eine Variation goat was cool as hell, so clearly I'm in the wrong here, but hey. Who gives a shit.

I'm sure there's way more examples of this, (actually I know there are,) but I'm extremely tired and need to go the fuck to sleep. If there's any particular backgrounds ya'll want me to take a look at, lemme know and I'll get back to you when I've woken from my dread slumber.

[my-mt-heart]

Where's Daryl?

This was very difficult to write. It opened up a lot of old wounds for me, so if you read this, thank you. If my thoughts on this show haven’t been your cup of tea, that’ll most definitely be the case here as well, so maybe just move along. ***Trigger warning for discussion of childhood abuse***

For about a year and a half, Caryl fans asked Where's Carol? as a pointed reminder that the spinoff was always meant to be hers just as much as it was Daryl’s. Even though she's back now, her fans didn't always know she would be (nor did the EP's 🙄) so her absence during filming and promotion of the first season was a heavy burden to bear. The irony is, though “Daryl Dixon” sticks out like a sore thumb in that ridiculous font, he's the one who feels absent sometimes, as if important parts of his character development were lost when he washed ashore while other parts come and go as the plot demands.

Zabel talks about swapping Daryl's iconic vest for "old man" suspenders as a matter of pragmaticism i.e. they were the only clean clothes available. Norman says it was a choice he wanted for some unclear reason, but neither of them seem to consider the intelligence of their audience, particularly Carylers, to see it more symbolically. The costume change is our visual reminder that Daryl isn't himself. In some scenes he's chattier than he should be, far more trusting of strangers with personal details, and far more theatrical. Then in others, the differences are even more alarming. He calls a child cruel names, puts his hands on him, and feels conflicted about returning home to his family, to the woman he said he loved.

I mentally prepared myself for retcons, but the one I'm struggling with a lot right now, which I haven't seen anyone bring up yet, is the retcon of Daryl’s childhood abuse. Daryl tells Isabelle that he and Merle had to take apart engines and if they couldn't put them back together, their dad wouldn't let them have dinner. It's a milder version of the stories the scars on his back tell us, though I can buy Daryl omitting the worst of it like he did in the pilot. What I can't buy is Daryl saying his dad was "hardly ever" around and emphasizing it as the main source of his pain growing up. It feels contradictory for one thing. When we see Daryl's scars for the first time in S3 of the flagship show, it's implied Daryl was trapped in an environment that enabled his dad to physically hurt him often. Presumably that's why Merle felt guilty about leaving him behind. The revelation also seems like it's only intended to highlight the consequences of an absent father figure, explaining Daryl's fear of not making it home, but also justifying his "close" bond with Laurent. The best stories allow a character's emotions to drive the plot, but this just does the opposite, twisting Daryl's backstory to fit the current narrative.

Daryl's backstory made so many people root for him in the first place. It allowed Carol to see him when nobody else in the group could. It helped me process my own childhood trauma. The ways I got to watch him overcome his violent past gave me hope that masculinity could mean more than what I grew up around—more than anger, shouting, and swinging fists. Daryl taught me that men could still be tender, kind, and loving even if those closest to them in their childhood never showed them how. I imagine Daryl's representation has been important to boys and men too, specifically to those who were afraid to speak up about their abuse because of the stigma around it. The implications of this scene may not be easily noticeable to some, but they are to me, and I'm deeply offended by it.

I’ve talked at length on this blog about how it takes a village to make or break a show, though it’s usually the showrunner who has to answer for it. I've already mentioned that I do blame Zabel. His knowledge of French history has no value when he obviously didn’t bother to study Daryl’s history aside from reading old scripts and (maybe) watching the first couple seasons. That's incredibly irresponsible and terrifying for S2. I also blame AMC for their short-sightedness and their determination to save face no matter how much it costs them. I blame Gimple for his pettiness. I blame Greg Nicotero for his insensitivity to Melissa and her fans.

As for Norman, he's hinted very loudly that he wants credit for the show being "different," so in theory he should be prepared to take some of the blame too. I can't name all of the decisions he specifically made, but no matter what they were, I can blame him for not speaking up about the shipbaiting, Daryl's wavering loyalty, and the childhood abuse retcon, all things that hurt his character and hurt the fans. I genuinely don't know what else to think other than Norman didn't give either the consideration they deserve. The show has been treated like nothing more than a vanity project, and it’s unfortunate when you think about what he and AMC had to gain from the original Caryl spinoff.

I love the version of Daryl I knew before this whole mess, I love Carol, and I love the relationship between them. I want them to have the story they deserve in S2. At the moment, I don’t know how to reconcile that with the agony I feel over the damages to half of my two favorite characters. If Carol is going to cross the Atlantic ocean to find Daryl, I want him to be the man who threatened to punch holes in all the boats so she couldn’t leave and the man who told her he loved her before—ironically—leaving himself. I need to hear Daryl admit he hasn't been completely honest with the French characters, not because he was afraid of getting too close to them, but because he didn't want to face the pain of potentially living without Carol and TF. I need to hear him say that he can't be Laurent's father, which is okay because the kid has plenty of other family to take care of him. I need to hear him say, out loud, that he could never love another woman romantically because he's already in love with Carol. That's what I need to feel better about this story. That's where my investment is. I feel like Carol is safe in Melissa's hands, but I don't feel like I have anyone to rely on for Daryl. That’s a big problem because their stories are so intertwined. There’s no Daryl without Carol nor Carol without Daryl. If you ruin one of them, you risk ruining both of them, and that’s a possibility I really can’t bear.

[licncourt]

final thoughts on the end of ep 5

I don't have any desire to continue talking about this, so I'm going to hit my main responses to discourse I've been seeing and also points that have come up in my asks

I absolutely do not accept that what occurred on episode 5 was in character for Lestat, HOWEVER, Lestat is absolutely an abusive partner and father in IWTV. He's cruel and controlling, he makes empty threats to Louis to get his way, he's insensitive and volatile and his temper gets the better of him constantly. He is very, very bad. In TotBT, he sexually assaults a mortal woman and turns a human friend into a vampire against his will, the vampire equivalent of rape. Lestat is an objectively evil character. No one rational is disputing that. We are disputing this specific scenario/character choice.

I'm including an excerpt of the one physical fight that's actually described in IWTV, the worst one Louis says they had (other is only described with an extremely brief mention of "we grappled")

There are two other instances of Lestat being physical with Louis. I'll leave those here (he is never physically violent with Claudia, nor does he ever threaten her, both according to Louis).

This is all awful and it's domestic violence! Lestat IS an abusive partner and he absolutely deserves what he gets in this book. And yet, it is still not the same as physically assaulting his Claudia, smashing Louis through furniture and wall after wall as the house falls down around them, sitting on Louis and beating him with all his strength while Claudia screams, leaving Louis so injured he can't move, slitting his throat, reaching in, dragging him down the hall by the trachea, draining him of blood in a vampire sexual assault, flying up as high as an airplane, and dropping Louis onto the concrete.

I don't want to hear any pedantic, bad faith takes about how there's no difference here. The power imbalance alone changes things drastically. A fight scene is not the same as a torture scene. If you think these two examples are equivalent, you're being intentionally obtuse for the sake of argument or have no reading comprehension.

Would Louis actually have been willing to kill Lestat in that fight? Maybe, considering his perception of Lestat at that time. Clearly Lestat was not willing to kill or injure Louis. What matters most though is that they were FIGHTING. It was mutual and the power dynamic was FAR more balanced. Louis was holding his own, and when Lestat’s superior strength allowed him to gain control, he ended the fight. Period.

On that note, I keep seeing the end of ep 5 being called "a fight scene". It was not a fight scene. It was extended, one-sided torture. A fight scene is what happens in the first excerpt.

I am not opposed to there being physical violence in their relationship. Louis and Lestat have physical fights is canon and, as an anon pointed out, it would've been an excellent choice to have Louis and Lestat come to blows, Lestat injure Louis by accident and then stop, and have the narrative move forward with Claudia’s plotting revenge. This isn't about not wanting any violence in the relationship. No one who is a fan of the book has any issue with that. We have an issue with THIS.

While the subtext is VERY present, Louis and Lestat are not depicted in an explicit romantic relationship in the first book. Getting in a physical fight with someone you're attracted to is not the same as making an effort to torture your husband/long term partner to death. What occurred was not pure fantasy violence either, but a brutally realistic depiction of extreme domestic violence, just ratcheted up to 10 with vampire powers. There's a reason so many viewers found it extremely triggering. It was detailed and specific to the trauma experienced by abuse survivors to the point of being shockingly excessive

Even in a Gothic TV show, there was NO reason for a fan to expect what happened in ep 5. The showrunners repeated multiple times that this was "more of a Gothic romance than Gothic horror", that they were toning down/changing upsetting elements from the book to make it more palatable to a modern audience, that they wanted to be racially sensitive by creating a more equal dynamic for Louis and Lestat, and that Lestat was meant to be an amalgamation of his full canon character. Instead, they showed something exponentially worse than ever occurred between Loustat at any point in time and did so with maximum shock value. So no, "what did you expect?" is not a valid argument.

Lestat does terrible, violent things to other characters in the books, like David. This doesn't change the fact that a consistent, omnipresent tenet for Lestat’s character is not harming Louis and Claudia (yes, that's a bit hypocritical with those two smacks, but Lestat has never once injured Louis or Claudia). Louis and Claudia are sacred, always the exception. It's part of what makes so many people love Loustat.

This is from TotBT, the book where Lestat is his most violent and cruel. It's also the angriest he has ever been at Louis in canon, and this is his response. After this, he lets Louis kiss his cheek and then walks away. Even after Claudia stabs him and Louis helps her dump his body in the swamp, he doesn't make any aggressive or threatening advances on them upon his return. In TVL, he says he isn't/wasn't angry, that he deserved it and would've done the same in their position.

I've seen a lot of people say that this might be a lie/an exaggeration/a false memory. I don't care if it is because the showrunners still crossed a massive line in using extreme domestic violence and rape for shock value. It was traumaporn and depicting it like that after the stated goals of the show were so different violated many viewers' trust. Even if they hadn't made those claims, it would still be in very bad taste to say the least. And no content warning even after ep 1 had one for suicide tells you how seriously the creators took these issues.

I've seen the "lol I can excuse murder but I draw the line at domestic violence" posts and all I can say is: in this case, yes??? They're fairytale monsters killing NPCs for food. There are no vampires in the world. No one is being murdered by having their blood sucked. You know what IS real? Domestic violence situations very similar to the ones portrayed, just without the flying. THAT'S what impacts our perception of a character. When the fantasy monster becomes a little too real.

In conclusion, extreme violence is not OOC for Lestat. THIS extreme violence very much was.

[fallout4-reacts]

k-peasants asked: An actual prompt this time! I know you're busy and have plenty of things to write yet, take your time. Soo I was thinking that maybe companions (and Maxson) horribly failing at confessing to Sole. Like for example they could clear out some Raiders, companion is impressed, tries to confess BAM Sole gets fucking decked by random raider they didn't kill. I feel like you could get pretty creative with that one. Like deathclaws, something exploding, just settlers running in, other companions interrupting etc.

Here, here, part uh 4… after the false start of the part 3…

Part 4

Gage / MacCready / Piper

(Part 1 : Danse, Deacon, Nick Valentine)

(Part 2 : Hancock, Preston, Strong)

(Part 3 : X6-88 alone because of a bug)

(Part 5 : Cait, Curie, Codsworth, Dogmeat, Elder Maxson)

Gage : This Sole is an Overboss! What a magnificent and fantastic Overboss! Everything Porter had ever wanted to do came true! Nuka-World is now a flourishing domain, having conquered so many colonies that the Commonwealth can be considered under the yoke of the raiders, its inhabitants paying an extraordinary tribute that fills the chests at an incredible rate. His people are blessed and happy, and he owes it all to Sole.

Gage never imagined having such strong and lively feelings for another person as he did for himself, but he fell hard for Sole.

And Sole seems to notice it in a far more personal way than one would anticipate from an Overboss towards a lieutenant.

And when a raider wants something, he takes it.

So, once his feelings for his superior are made clear, Gage doesn't waste time. He plans their entire evening and ensures that Sole has enough drink. When he realizes they are alone in the Fizztop, he grabs his bravery with both hands.

"Hey, Boss!"

Sole looks up from his glass and smiles at Porter.

"Yeah?"

And this smile almost steals the poor man's courage. He takes the time to set himself on one of the stools in front of the other.

"I… I've been thinking about this thing you told me, about our friendship and all that bullshit."

"Yeah?"

"Well, what I'm saying is—

"Is that Mason's voice I hear?"

"We always hear Mason's screaming at this hour."

"But these are not screams of pain?"

Gage and Sole leap to the terrace and gaze downward. Preston Garvey, the foolish Minutemen colonel, smiled morbidly at them from the center of the lake, where he had erected a terrible altar.

"I told you you'd pay me, Sole!" the man yells angrily while igniting more fire under Mason.

Sole then realizes that the entire area has been taken over by Minutemen. Damn! He believed he had confined them to their silly castle, but it appears that they have returned in force.

"You know what, Porter?"

"Yes boss?"

"We'll finish this conversation later."

MacCready : Sole pays close attention to MacCready. The mercenary casts an interested gaze their way.

"I have something in my face?"

"Nope. I'm just curious why you didn't leave."

The mercenary with the rat's face smiles with all his rotten teeth.

He replayed the conversation in his thoughts over and again.

Sole carried Mac through the twists and turns of a hidden and forgotten vault, where they fought radscorpions, mirelurks (including a Queen mirelurk), and ghouls, the worst of which who was not feral. They have since established their camp in the main cave, waiting for the sunrise to return to the surface.

To be honest, Mac isn't in any rush to get back up. He never feels better than when he has a good granite sky on his head, but he knows they can't stay confined in the bowels of this hill forever.

The Commonwealth will be expecting them.

And there is a child waiting for him near the Capital Wasteland, assigned to the care of trusted people. Butch and the Tunnel Snakes will offer their life to save his son if necessary, and they will at first not take any unnecessary risks that could imperil him. This is what allows Mac to postpone his triumphal return to Duncan, who is undoubtedly on the mend.

Healing thanks to the help of Sole.

Sole glances at him now, puzzled as to why he is still there.

And the answer, he knows it by heart, having processed it in his thoughts over and over since he found it. Why is he still present? For the one only reason that could exist.

"Listen to me carefully, Sole. What I want to say is delicate, and I don't want to... It's difficult for me to talk to you about this, but I understand you should question my decision."

"A little, yes. If I had the opportunity to be with my son, I would not procrastinate as much."

Mac takes his time swallowing. Yes, it was far more delicate than he had imagined. He didn't count Sole's struggle to find their own kid... and the heartbreaking defeat they experienced along the way.

"Exactly. I don't believe I have the right to forsake you. Not right now. Not after everything you've done for me. No, especially in a situation when you need someone by your side."

"What greatness of soul for a mercenary."

MacCready straightens and swallows sideways.

"How could you!? You know that — argh! — I gave back your caps!"

"And I told you you could keep it."

"Do you really think my motivation is still just money?"

"No." The tone of his friend confuses Mac. He raises his eyebrow, and Sole makes a hand gesture. "So, you tell me, what's so important?"

"Yes. What I was trying to say to you was that-

"Not all ghouls are dead."

"Sorry?"

"Not all ghouls are dead!"

Sole leaps to his feet before Mac notice the abrupt change in the speech. Then he realizes at the same time that Sole fires his first shot. He retrieves his trustworthy Mighty and begins to shoot himself.

It is a true horde that falls on them, and they are in a big cave on absolutely flat land, the fools, the lethal sea forthcoming on them despite the accuracy of their guns. Three ghouls appear to replace each one that dies.

Sole and Mac, surrounded and besieged, realize their horrible mistake.

Their one and only, but fatal, mistake.

Piper : The reporter speaks to them as they approach a settlement.

"Hello! I have a few questions about the living conditions in the colony; would you be willing to answer them?"

Sole takes a step back. They have to repair a water purifier at Sturges' request, and they don't want to interfere with Piper's work on her new article, "Life in the Commonwealth with the Return of the Minutemen." This is, at the very least, the first draft. Piper wishes to develop a more enticing title and believes she can do so by researching the backdrop of her article.

Sole approved all along.

This is the best plan of action concerning Piper. Approve immediately before she launches into an argument about the advantages and disadvantages of her point of view. Her conversation is already something; if she believes she needs to persuade her interlocutor, it could run all day.

Quite strangely, the purifier's filter has become clogged from the inside. Because the duct is too tiny, Sole is unable to reach it. To see what is causing the blockage, they must disassemble a large piece of the devices. As the day is already well begun, they proceed immediately.

Piper returns after around ten minutes to see how they are.

"Hmf. Everyone declines my interview requests. I expected everyone to be overjoyed to be in the next issue, but they're all too busy."

"Take it back tonight at the bar when they're done with their chores," Sole suggests, gripping his wrench, which refuses to loosen the shaft.

"Wait a minute, that's a fantastic idea. They will definitely be even more ready to comply if my incredibly popular acquaintance additionally offers a few caps to pay for the round."

Sole chuckles, despite the fact that they are losing patience after the obstinate piece.

"You know I'd do anything for you, sweetheart."

"What a charmer," says the reporter, blushing.

But Sole's motivation is more selfish than making Piper blush. Every time they told her something in this taste, she reddened, stammered, and eventually shut up. They must concentrate if they don't want to twist the rotor situate under the duct or damage the nets, which would necessitate some redoing, and all of the required gear is in Sanctuary. During this break, they renew their focus to their given task.

Piper, on the other hand, is in a completely different mindset. She coughs briefly to regain their interest. They grunt to indicate that they are paying attention and modify their position to change the pressure point.

"You know, Sole, I've been wanting to talk to you about something a little tricky for a while."

"Not really your way of going in circles," Sole grumbles, thrusting their tool.

"No, I confess, but it's something that, let's say, is difficult to discuss."

"I didn't think there was anything too tough for you to discuss," they groan before throwing all of their weight on the tool to give it one last push.

"It's actually a very personal matter. So, if it's not too problematic..."

"But keep going!" Sole attempts to remain calm as they begin to feel the piece shift.

"I just wanted to let you know that all this time we've been rummaging together, I know it was not easy, I was not easy, and many don't really like me."

They eventually get their hands into the conduit to find the obstruction.

"But I'm quite pleased with you. More than just content. You never seem to get tired of my little crazy... I must admit... I do feel that—

"A MINE!" yells Sole, vigorously shoving Piper away as the entire purifier erupts out of its cement block, taking Sole's arm and a significant chunk of what should have been connected to Sole's arm with him. 

Piper, out of breath and on her back, worries of the fire and blood that fly in all directions and then fall all around her. She has no idea if she is injured; she is absolutely frightened.

[designatedbreadbox]

A/N: Had alot of fun with the Bane one, so I'm doin' this one on Joker. Can be interpreted as romantic or platonic. Also I can't make the image bigger, sorry. Lmao enjoy the tiny image.

Hey Darlin'!

I want to start this off with: I know I fucked up. Badly. It had uhm, dawned on me how my previous treatment of you was at best unfair and at worst, callous. And at absolute worst, I treated you abrasively. I know that nothing I do will ever repair the damage I've done. I also know that nothing I ever say can fix it either. I get that you're angry, and you have every right to be. I wouldn't be surprised if you immediately burned this letter as soon as you saw my name on it. Hell, I would honestly be surprised and pleased happy to know you even managed to read this far!

As a way of shedding light, I'm very proud to say that I am a changed man. A better man. I'm not saying I'm a good man, but I am saying that I changed for the better, so don't missquote me. Now, you may be wondering how I changed, and why. And I'll tell ya! Short story shorter, I became temporarily amnesiac and had a lovely lady walk in my life with two beautiful kids. All hers, not mine, but I love 'em regardless. That's how; now here's why. In addition to her, Harley had shown me just how much I sucked and how if I wanted to rebuild what we had, I would need to change. So, that's exactly what I did! I had changed so much that I wore khakis for six months when I was a temporary amnesiac, six! Khakis, of all things! I could hardly believe it myself!

Alas, I digress. My point is that I did change for the better. Whether you've seen my statement about that on TV or not doesn't matter because you now are in possession of written proof of it. Words that I consciously put down on paper and placed in a Jokerized festive envelope to have mailed to you. I would've delivered it myself, but I uhm, assumed a gesture like that would be taken the wrong way. If you managed to read it up to this point, [Name], then consider this proposal. Please, would you be willing to join me in a restaurant to chat? To actually talk and not have a conversation mainly filled with vague threats? Practically most of them are my fault, but you know what I mean.

It can be wherever you want, promise! Batman and prices aren't a problem, so leave the "check" to me. Cruise ship or restaurant, even your home. Doesn't matter to me, so long as we can work this out. Whatever your reply is, I'll leave my girlfriend's address at the bottom so you can mail your response to me. Or personally deliver, my preferred way of recieving your answer.

------

Love, Joker 💚💜 [The Clown Prince of Crime]

P.S. I was lying about the check. I'm not paying and I'll be damned if you do. I said I was a changed man, not a better one. After all, some habits just die hard!

[lollytea]

well lolly , since theres only six days left can we get some super wrong or super right predictions from you?

I'm a little late (4 days now!!) Anyways I'm not good at predictions. Here's some silly little wishes instead. I know I'm not getting any of this but I can dream. (Most of these copy n pasted directly from discord.)

- Gus casting a huge terrifying illusion around everything as he gives Belos one long "reason you need to repent for your sins" speech. He walks towards him, shifting into all the people he's hurt over the centuries. Then he turns into Evelyn, then Caleb. I want Gus to be Belos' worst nightmare basically.

- I've seen takes that Gus being the key against Belos and all the grimwalker lore wouldn't fit and has nothing to do with his arc and it shouldn't be his responsibility. But like

Gus has spent his whole life being deceived for being trusting and gullible. Gus going up against a man who has built his life on lies and deception. Oh it would fuck. And all the similarities between Gus and the Collector. Like this part of the story is practically tailored for Gus to slip into. If you know how to write it. And I just hope they know how to write it

Ohhhhh I know Gus already loathes Belos as much as anybody but ohhhhh. He learns the Collector lore and then turns to Belos, eyes glowing like "You lied to him. You said you were his friend but you lied to him."

- I'm not an Amity Blight expert so I'm probably far off. But I've been thinking about it. I'm wondering if maybe her puppetification is JUST her, rather than it being all of the kids. And maybe Odalia is directly responsible.

And considering Amity is overdue for her ✨️Moment✨️ I'm wondering if this might be it. There's a running theme in the owl house when it comes to puppets and puppet masters, and this is directly linked to the characters who suffered abuse and manipulation at the hands of their parental figures.

Hunter got his puppet moment in TTT. Maybe Amity gets something similar in WAD. I know she's HAD her big important moment of establishing her autonomy in EE and then again in COTH. But maybe its one final nod to it. I also find it interesting that in spite of being puppetfied her hand is moving. Like to symbolise this defiance and stubbornness to comply with what Odalia has demanded of her ever since EE

- I've been mostly thinking about the potential scenario of Belos!Luz and GG!Hunter from Luz's POV. Cuz idek if we're getting the actual Hunter or a dream version of Hunter.

But like. It's FUCKED. Because Belos was Hunter's blood relation. He was his family. A terrible twisted version of a family but the only kind Hunter knew.

And then came Luz, who reinvented the meaning of family for him. She confided in him, she trusted him, she loved him. She made that boy her family because she adored him.

So THIS is deranged. Its warping the relationship they've built together into this depraved disturbing thing. The merger of these two family dynamics into one sickening thing. Like Luz was his shelter. But now she's become the exact thing he was running from.

Having Hunter look at her with blatant fear, shrinking himself so he stands beneath her, the horrible emotions that must make her feel. Oh I HATE THIS!!!

And even getting this miniscule comfort of Hunter ripped away from her. Like he was her PERSON. The only one who was aware of the horrible things she's done and she doesn't feel judged by, for several months. Like if all else failed, at least Hunter didn't hate her.

And now THIS scenario which is like "maybe....maybe he should be the one to hate you the most."

- Want a scene where Willow and Hunter gotta split up and there's some kind of antagonist pursuing them. They've only got a moment of peace before it reaches them. And Willow's like "You go ahead. I'll hold them off." (Like she did in LR) and Hunter doesn't want to leave her. But the circumstances are dire and he knows he has to and he KNOWS she'll keep herself alive. But he still worries. So they promise each other that they'll stay safe and Willow turns her back to him after that, preparing herself for a fight and expecting him to hurry off now. But he doesn't. He lingers there for an extra moment, wanting to tell her something but unable to put it into words. Then he zaps himself to her side, hastily smooches her cheek and zaps away before she can recover from her shock.

And then Willow is just. Left there. Stunned. Staring blankly at the space where he once was. And then a smile cracks her mouth wide open. Whatever she's fighting catches up to her and Willow can only cackle giddily, her engine all revved up, and she's all like LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO

Willow gets one teeny tiny little smooch by Hunter and it makes her go all "I AM POWERFUL AND I WILL NEVER DIE!!!!!!!"

- Actually overall I believe in a Willow and Hunter comic relief. I think Gus and Amity are both having special spotlight in this episode. And Luz will finally reunite with Eda and King. And idk WHERE the fuck Camila is (smooching puppet Darius or smth). But ya Willow and Hunter are gonn be so cringe.

- Evelyn Clawthorne voice reveal and Irish accent.

- Belos dies an excruciatingly painful death

- Hunter Noceda

- If there is not a big dramatic scene dedicated to Willow and Gus reuniting with their dads I am fucking killing somebody.

[vmures]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

I got tagged by the delightful @mirrorthoughts 💜💜💜 Thank you for the tag!

How many works do you have on ao3?

13 at the moment

What's your total ao3 word count?

218,148 words (mostly thanks to one very long fic, lol)

What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Teen Wolf and 9-1-1. I am noodling a few ideas for Stranger Things. I've also written Buffy the Vampire Slayer stuff, mostly crossovers in the past, but haven't gotten around to importing them to ao3. They can be found on Twisting the Hellmouth under the same user name as ao3 (vMures)

Top five fics by kudos:

Hanging On (You're All That's Left to Hold On To)

A Hallowed Pack

A Change of Luck

A Merry War

Finding Home

All Teen Wolf fics, mostly Steter with one Sterek fic in the mix. 😄

Do you respond to comments?

I certainly always try to.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm a happily ever after sort of writer generally, so none of my fics have very angsty endings. Just not the sort of thing I tend to write.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

They all have happy endings so far. Not sure I could pick which one has the happiest ending.

Do you get hate on fics?

Not usually, at least not on ao3. Worst comments I've gotten have been on fanfiction.net and I have been ignoring those for decades at this point. I think I don't get much hate on ao3 in large part because I don't allow anonymous comments on my work and people are less likely to leave hate comments when they have to do it with their official account. I've gotten a few odd comments, some weird nitpicky ones, and some demanding ones from time to time. I always try to respond politely to those, but sometimes get a bit snarky.

Do you write smut?

Not as of yet. But I may some day try my hand at it. No promises though. lol

Craziest crossover:

I once wrote a crossover between Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Harry Potter, and X-Men (it can be found on Twisting the Hellmouth).

On ao3, my only crossover so far is a Teen Wolf/Harry Potter crossover: A Hallowed Pack

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Someone just asked if they could translate Midnight Rain into Russian, so that will be my first fic translated into another language.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really

All time favourite ship?

Cannot pick favorites for the life of me. In Teen Wolf, I love Steter, Sterek, Stetopher, Stargent, Steterek, Dargent, Detergent (Derek/Chris/Peter), and so many more combinations of my favorite characters. lol Stranger Things I read mostly Steddie and Ronance, but am open to quite a few other pairings.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Yep, my one unfinished WIP Buffy/Stargate crossover, The Road Not Taken. After a decade of agonizing over whether or not to mark it abandoned and give myself grace for not finishing it, I finally did so. Part of me still would love to finish it, but I lost the notes I had on it and doubt I'll ever find the desire to rebuild the story and figure out where I had wanted it to go.

What are your writing strengths?

I'm pretty good at writing natural sounding dialogue and proud of that fact.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I have been called a wordy bitch or told my writing is very dense. So that could be considered a weakness. Otherwise, I'd say writing action scenes and making sure the actions make sense and flow properly.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

As long as there's a translation somewhere, I don't mind. Sometimes it is effective to include.

First fandom you wrote in?

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Favorite fic you've written?

Oh man, this is a particularly hard question. I love A Merry War a lot, but ultimately my absolute favorite so far is Hanging On (You're All That's Left to Hold On To). That fic is my baby. Took me two years to finish and I poured a lot of my heart and soul into it.

Once again I've hit the tagging portion of the tag game and drawn an absolute blank on who to tag. So consider yourself tagged if you want to play along! 💜💜💜

[windvexer]

Seeing someone discuss curses reminded me of something I was curious to ask you. If you choose to answer this, thank you very much, but obviously I understand if you do not wish to or don't have an answer to give.

Unfortunately, I'm in a situation where another practitioner has wronged me pretty severely. I feel that I cannot wait for other forms of justice to take place (if that would ever happen to begin with). I don't want to mention what this person has done to me, but please rest assured I have good reason for wanting to curse or hex them.

The problem comes with the fact that they are a practitioner as well. While I have curse protections and spiritual protections in place, I fear what would happen if I wear to curse or hex them. I think a hex is probably the less intense option, but either option leaves me open to the possibility of being countered obviously.

I suppose my question is this: do you have any suggestions for cursing or hexing someone who is a fellow practitioner? I have been told it's best to avoid it at all costs because it can turn into a back and forth war of one person firing magic at the other in some cases.

If it helps to give context about my situation specifically, I was hoping to cast an empathy curse or "feel the pain you've caused me" curse. I hope to have it end when the person has learned their lesson, so it's not a spell that would (hopefully) be lifelong or anything of the sort.

Thank you for reading this very long ask, and thank you for being so willing to share your knowledge with others. You have been an immense help to me personally, and the way you view magic has helped me consider perspectives I would not have otherwise. I hope you are well.

Hi, Anon. I've been thinking on this since you sent it.

And my maybe-not-great and definitely-not-fun answer is that I'm not sure there is any such thing as malicious magic without consequences.

In the way I work things, even if the hex doesn't 'go too far' and even if it never splashes back on you, it's not an action without consequences.

That's kind of the deal about living in a causal universe, right?

The trip I'm kind of on lately, and probably will come up more for me soon, is that all magic is sacrifice. People tend to not like that word, which I get. But I like it exactly because it is a little uncomfortable.

So what do people sacrifice to pull off malefic magic? Maybe they sacrifice a feeling of safety and trade it for the knowledge that the practitioner-target may retaliate. Or perhaps you literally pay in your future safety, if you anger the wrong people.

I think one aspect of this is being realistic. How great are the risks to you, really? Because when you sit at the shadowy Table of Art and the guillotine falls, you're not going to be able to tell what was really paid until the head rolls into the light.

Although that is a tiny bit dramatic. But I'm also feeling dramatic. So.

So on one hand we have to say, what is really the worst case scenario here?

Like, I'm not really that vindictive, magically speaking. But I think you sent me this ask because you saw someone asking about how to make a lifelong unbreakable curse, so we all know how vindictive some people can be.

Some kinds of magic really have very little risk. And in fact with some foresight, you can more or less stack the chopping block with exactly what you want to spend.

And, my friend, it seems like you've come up to the possibility that the debt you could incur is "this other person hurting me worse, on purpose, maybe for a long time."

And maybe we could mitigate that with a "less serious" kind of magic that would maybe fly under the radar or so on.

And dang, isn't this starting to feel like a lottttt of time and energy focused on someone who hurt you really badly?

As someone who's cast an "empathy curse," as you've put it, I can attest that making someone learn their lesson is absolutely not the same thing as healing over the incident and growing. You do not need someone else to change before you are allowed to heal, and healing will not happen just because someone else has grown.

Because it a tiny bit sounds like to me that not only has this person severely wronged you, but now you are continuously sacrificing your time and energy because you want them to learn, and grow, and change, in ways that are about you.

As Mr. Witchblogger, my answer is, all magic takes sacrifice. Analyze your situation and make an informed decision. You may be risking very much, but that is your choice.

But if you were my friend and you came over and we had some tea, I'd tell you not to. I'd tell you that this plan of action is probably not good for you, because if it's justice you want, AKA asserting fairness,

then channeling the pain you feel into personal growth and healing to elevate you to a new, stronger, and happier place is ALSO justice. Would it not be very fair for you to be lifted up and elevated to great heights?

And better than the "fuck the other guy" kind of justice, it actually benefits you, as opposed to a sense of poetic justice that doesn't pay the bills.

Also:

A hex or curse to cause someone to "learn their lesson" may not manifest for months or years, which would probably lead you to keep focused on this person in the long term to see whether or not they've changed, which sounds terrible.

You can obtain magical closure through multitude other techniques which do not involve risking the ire of another practitioner. (try the Walking the Corridor technique from Weaving Fate by Aidan Wachter)

Because casting a spell is not necessarily going to make you feel better, at all. It's probably not going to stop you from thinking about them. It's probably going to make it worse, because you're still actively developing the situation on your end and giving yourself more content to think on and ruminate over.

Because you shouldn't make yourself be the "therapist friend spellcaster" to someone who hurt you just so they can understand what they did.

Still, if you feel it must be done, do what you think is best. My best recommendation in that situation is to establish a lot of mirror wards, and to expect that if they are a serious practitioner, there is a decent chance your attacks simply won't land.

[stevethehairington]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

ty to the lovely @thefreakandthehair and @hexiewrites for the tags!! this looks like a fun one!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 117 so far and still counting!!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 662,484!

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently stranger things and i've been toying around with the idea of jumping back into writing for good omens! just gotta get the worms to worm, yknow?

but i have also historically written for: skam; marvel; love simon/simon vs; it; shameless; supernatural; (and once for hp and once for trust but i will likely not ever write for either of those again sooo how much do they really count? lol)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. good for my boy (steddie) 2. can't hide the way you make us glow (steddie) 3. i want to hold your hand (steddie) 4. sloe gin fizzy, do it till you're dizzy (steddie) 5. the world will follow after (steddie)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? YES!!! i DO!!! i am INCREDIBLY behind on replying to comments, i got busy and didn't have the chance to reply to any and then they started to pile up and now there is an overwhelming amount in my inbox (currently around 450 sdkljfds) so i just gotta. carve out some time to start tackling all of them. but i am firmly of the belief that if you took the time to leave me a comment i will take the time to respond!! it... just might be a hot minute before that response comes... but it will!! that is a guarantee!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? haha if you know me you know that writing angst is not something i do all that often. i am a Certified Soft Bitch, and when i do write angst i always try to end it on a happy note because my blorbos deserve that happiness. but i suppose there are a few fics i've written that have... less than happy, perhaps more ambiguous endings. i think there are probably two that i can think of that could potentially fit the bill here...

keep me on a rope, which is my unrequited stommy fic. it IS a happy ending for steddie, but certainly not for tommy lol, so i suppose that counts!

and then i'll throw in beneath the stars too, which is the very first good omens fic i ever wrote (directly inspired by samson by regina spektor!) in which in the early days of their acquaintanceship, aziraphale shows crowley kindness, crowley makes a move and kisses aziraphale, and aziraphale pushes him away and is vehement about the fact that they can't. though, this one kind of ends with aziraphale having an italicize ohment (literally), sooo i guess it's not all that angsty of an ending?

if we wanna bring tumblr drabbles into the mix tho... i definitely have some angsty ones that do not end happily...

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? happiest ending!!! oh boy!!! try, like, every fic i've ever written basically?? dakljfsd as previously established, i am a Certified Soft Bitch, so pretty much all of my fics end with my blorbos happily in love and living/on their way to living their best lives. i really don't know if i can pick one that is the "happiest". i suppose if i absolutely had to pick, i'd maybe say let me know your future plans, which i wrote for the stucky big bang way back when. it's PURE romcom and it ends in a happy wedding so!!

8. Do you get hate on fics? i have not! which, considering how many fandoms i've written for and how crazy some of those fandoms can get, i am INCREDIBLY grateful for. i've got good egg readers and i am very very thankful for it. i think the worst comment i've ever gotten on a fic was one where someone like criticized robin in my fic and called her a bad friend, but that was because they THOROUGHLY misinterpreted her actions in the fic and like seriously misunderstood that she wasn't actually genuinely being an asshole. but yeah, i wouldn't really classify that as hate, that was just lacking reading comprehension lol.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? i do! i feel like it's been a hot minute since i have published any lol, but, historically, i have! and i certainly will (eventually) write and publish more! as for "what kind", gay. i write gay porn. dskljfs. all of the smut i have ever written has been gay and very likely all of it ever will be lksjfs. i also don't think my smut writing ever gets, like, super wild or anything. i'm fully one of those people that likes my smut to be very feelings heavy and like there's gotta be that emotional connection, that seals the DEAL for me, so yeah i tend to write it that way too. fun fact though, the first fic of mine that ever hit 1k kudos was a smut fic! lmao.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? nope! i am very much NOT a crossover fan. don't like to read 'em, don't like to write 'em. i just think there's too much going on in them and i don't like to mix and match my fandoms.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i'm aware of! and hopefully it never will happen either!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? honestly? i cannot remember. sdkfjlsd i feel like i maybe had a request to translate a fic a looooong time ago, but i genuinely do not remember.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? none that have ever been posted! i've started co-writing fics before, but those have never been finished rip. i would really love to actually co-write something and finish it eventually though!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? ohhhhhhhhhhh MAN. that's a TOUGH question. i've loved so many ships over the years, and they've all been incredibly dear to me. obviously, my favorite at any given time is going to be whatever is my current favorite, whatever is actively snagging my attention and digging it's claws into me (so atm, steddie or ineffable husbands). BUT. since we are talking favorite of all time... i think i gotta go with stucky here. there is just something SO beautiful about that one and there is SO much to work with there, the possibilities are truly endless.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? well i've got a MILLION wips i want to finish in my wips folder that will likely never get touched again skljgfsg but. oh man. i think i gotta say if you love me, if you hate me, which breaks my hEART to say. but skfljdf it's been five years since i posted it and i STILL have not ever gone back to finish it, despite desperately wanting to (because gOD DAMMIT IT HAUNTS ME, IT FUCKING H A U N T S ME!!! THAT IS THE ONLY FIC I'VE E V E R POSTED THAT I HAVE LEFT UNFINISHED AND I HATE THAT SO MUCH!!! I WANT IT TO BE COMPLETE!!!). i always say that i would love to go back and finish it one day, and that sentiment still stands!!! i really would!!! but man, i havent thought about skam in a writing-sense in, obviously, years. and i truly don't know if i ever will be able to get back in that mindset. like i always say though, never say never...

16. What are your writing strengths? writing strengths ooh hmm... well. i personally spend a lot of time on making sure i get my characterizations right when i'm writing any character - that is one of thee most important parts of fic writing to me, because a poorly characterized character is one of the QUICKEST ways to take me out of a fic. so i take that shit seriously. and i like to think that i understand the characters well enough that i am successful in this, that i do do a good job of it, that you can read any one of my fics and go YEAH he WOULD say that. i've gotten compliments about my characterizations on lots of my fics before too (which is genuinely the highest compliment to receive, it makes me so happy to hear), so i like to think that my judgement of my own skill here is not wildly off base lol.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? hmmmm. well, i tend to get super in my head about everything when i've been staring at a doc for too long. i start to like,,, forget how to write well lol. i feel like when that happens i start to like get repetitive and super basic in my writing, which is, obviously, not what i want lol. also, endings. i have so much trouble writing endings. also i struggle SO HARD with just like. writing a random scene that doesn't have like. all this buildup and background. like i cannot for the life of me just start writing in the middle of a scene adflskd. i have to have some sort of setup, which makes it very difficult when i cannot figure out what that setup should be lol.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? don't really have many thoughts on it tbh. i don't do it. mostly because i don't really include any other languages in my fics lol. but i suppose if i ever did and it wasn't like a well known phrase or something that the fandom would know without a translation, then i'd definitely include a translation somewhere. there is nothing i dislike more than when a fic throws in a significant amount of another language (aka not just one or two tiny phrases here andnthere) and doesn't include a translation. like i'm not out here trying to switch between tabs just so i can understand your fic. so yeah if i ever did include other languages, i would definitely be sure to include translations too.

19. First fandom you wrote for? first fandom i wrote for and published my written work for was skam!!! skam my beloved, you will always be special to me. i diiiiid dabble in fic writing before skam, but none of that was ever finished or posted and it never will be and i will not be saying what fandom it was for skfljgdfg (if you know me though you probably know the answer sdfkjsd). but yeah!! skam was baby's first fic writing fandom!!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? omgggg this is like asking someone to pick their favorite child... i CANT skdjfsl. can i cheat and list a couple favorites? sdkfjdsf. im gonna cheat and list a couple favorites. OKAY. so some of my favorites i've written include:

let me know your future plans - my fic for the 2018 stucky au big bang! this is the first bang i ever did, and it is the longest fic i have ever written! i'm honestly incredibly proud of myself for having done it; bangs are hard sldslkfs. writing a fic over that long of a time period and sticking with it until the end is hard, but i did it! i stuck with it and i finished it and wrote the whole thing i wanted to write and honestly it was one of the most rewarding experiences of my writing career. also, i fucking love a good romcom and that fic is pure romcom so. yEAH.

good for my boy - my wayne pov steddie fic! i'm ALSO super proud of this one because writing from wayne's pov was something so different for me and it was a challenge to make sure i got the balance of getting his voice right without crossing the line and making it sound like a caricature of him, and i think i did a pretty good job of getting him right!

under my umbrella - another steddie fic! this one was just something that came to me totally randomly and i just remember how easily the whole thing spilled out. it was SO incredibly fun to write and it combines some of my favorite things (steddie and RAIN kafjsd) and i just love this one a lot.

keep me on a rope - my unrequited stommy, steddie fic!! i LOVE L O V E LOVE writing tommy pov, and i LOVE L O V E LOVE writing tommy lore and this fic let me do both and it was just SO fun to write and to explore that fucked up little guy and i'm so so pleased with how it turned out. and also the response it got? THRILLING. having people tell me that me and my fic got them thinking about tommy as more than just some random side character that shows up in a couple episodes and disappears and that it got them appreciating that character? THEE BEST!!!! LITERALLY!!! spreading the tommy agenda to as many people as i can is my goal in life and this fic FULLY helped me open some eyes sdkfljsd.

imagine being loved by me - you know WHAT im gonna add this one to the list too because i think it is the best smut i have ever written. this was my first and only (so far anyways) foray into good omens smut lol and i'm actually suuuuper proud of how it turned out. like feels a little weird calling something i wrote hot but,,,,, i kinda went off with how hot it turned out adlkfjdslkf. at least to me it did anyways skjflsd.

that's the end of it now!! so i will tag: @withacapitalp @toburnup @2btheanswertothequestion @flowercrowngods @cheatghost @steddielations @henderdads @harmonictechnicality @sidekick-hero @frankenstein-ate-my-left-shoe @steddieasitgoes @aidaronan @phoeniceae @pizzaqueen @fastcardotmp3 @wynnyfryd @maxineholtzmann @maxinemaxmayfield and anyone else that wants to do it!! (also if you've already been tagged feel free to ignore! i did not look at anyone else's tag list before doing mine lol)