#but like ya even as a Hater i have sympathy for like wanting to let go but also feeling the Void of letting go of a fixation ?

[mostlymaudlin]

i really do think that everyone sad abt letting go of hp should just get into the simon snow series. its like, everything good abt hp (magical school and associated hijinks, chosen one adventures, mysterious evil, questionable mentors) and then also makes fun of a lot of the things that are mishandled in hp (should kids have roles cast upon them as children? how do power dynamics play out in magical communities? ummmmm are those kids who went thru all of those chosen one adventures okay???). plus theres a vampire. and a road trip! and canon gays !!!!!!

[i-am-extremely-mad]

Since recently b/umbleby really became canon, I took the liberty to... borrow a post from a shipper better known as otp-bu/mbleby and before that as otp-sa/lami-sato (they uses salami in a derogatory sense) to emphasize how that blogger an absolute hypocrite and doesn't have the slightest bit of self-awareness. That blogger is also an absolute korrasami and Asami hater and m/akorra shipper btw. Changed ONLY the names from their original post to emphasize their hypocrisy. Trigger warning if you go to their blog and want to see their take on korrasami or Asami:

https://otp-bumbleby.tumblr.com/post/188848987794/another-complaint-about-toxic-shippers-because

“Another complaint about toxic shippers because they're still toxic, hun

I just think it’s really interesting that I saw korrasami shippers constantly reminding ourselves and our fellow shippers to respect canon, respect the writers, and Bryke’s vision whether or not korrasami happened. Especially if the m/akorra route was taken, we were adamant we’d take the high road and accept it.

Yet now we’ve basically predicted every damn beat of  korrasami’s establishment and gotten everything that’s needed to progress their relationship to the romantic level?

It’s the toxic m/akorra shippers that are insisting canon means nothing, that it’s only fanservice, that Bryke were being disrespected by their friends they worked with for years, that ~wasps~ changed the story and demanded the gays be pandered to because they were happy to ignore and refute all the cues that were given - I guess so they could find no problem with complaining that korrasami “came out of nowhere”. If anyone has done even one of those things, I’m talking about them. I cannot express how much respect I have for the m/akorra shippers that had the decency to not utter or type a single one of those type of things, and just not act like a fucking child, over a fictional ship.

Now that Nickelodeon has had the opportunity (and honestly probably the call from big daddy parent company Paramount) to expand  TLOK content so much into other mediums - meaning they had to bring in more than just the Bryke - these people that just can’t accept and get over their ship not being canon, and will grasp everything they can from those other introduced mediums to use as a weapon to try and contradict what the true canon shows (i.e. in the animated series). In their minds having inconsistencies, ‘retcons’ and changes mean that there has been some grave mistake in what the original writers of  TLOK have portrayed, even though it’s reasonable to say that not everything is going to all fit together perfectly. They want nothing but perfection from the people they continue to disrespect by taking their work and skewing the canon for their own whims.

I guess when you don’t get what you want you better cry, scream and yell that you’ve been wronged with all that you’ve got because you have nothing else left to go on?

If  korrasami still, for some reason, doesn’t happen despite my confidence in it, I’m not going to stoop that fucking low. Disappointment will be rife (an understatement) in our community. But I can promise everyone I’m not going to do what they’re doing. I know I wouldn’t be the only one. I also know there would be some that would, and they would be just as bad and toxic as those m/akorra shippers that can’t let go.

And ya know, I feel really bad for those m/akorra shippers that will be civil in their disappointment. But I’m starting to realise the toxic shippers don’t deserve any sympathy whatsoever, and much like Mako, it’s time they get what they deserved. And that’s Korra choosing Asami. lmaoooo”

[borisbubbles]

17. CZECH REPUBLIC

Benny Christo - “Kemama”

So first off, thank you for the nice commens. 😇The past few months haven’t been the happiest time for me, so thank you for your patience as I scraped my bearings together for another post! 😁

So I will now extend that same sympathy to Benny Christo, whom I think I damn fucking underrated. Let’s jump in~

ENTRY ANALYSIS

As one may expect i INSTANTLY liked “Kemama” because you know, it’s a fun, laid-back, tropical afro-breeze, completely different from anything else we would see in NFs and the year. EXACTLY the type of song I was hoping the Czech NF would deliver (and deliver they did, see NF Corner). This level of mild like swung into strong unironic like upon realizing that the title is a contraction of “Okay Mother” 😍 and the song deals with the subject of overcoming racially-tinged discrimination and rising above the hate. That just feels very poetic and apt? “Kemama” felt like the entry that had to overcome the highest odds in order to earn the respect it so fully deserves, and still hasn’t fully reached it.

.In our Western European bubble, comprised mostly of gays and left-liberal straights, we have a very grateful and universal acceptance of many different kinds of [lizard] people that make up Eurovision casts. Yet with “Kemama” we may have reached  an unusually grimy undercurrent of coded racism. 

Of course nothing I read was outrageously rancid, than Cod for that. The worst statement I read was a double-whammy of “EWW THIS ISN’T CARIBBEANVISION” and “WHY WOULD SOMEONE FROM *KENYA* WANT TO REP CZECHIA IN EUROVISION?”, and yes they first got the continent wrong and then *also* got the country wrong in the follow-up post and then they were torn limb from limb by a pack of aformentioned left-liberals. I’m sorry but i can’t not have any other response than laughter in the face of yet another fucking MORON faceplanting themselves with words like a... racist JK Rowling if you will?

Still, while I never read something outright vile about Benny doesn’t mean I found his deniers really annoying and they were! Think “Ew Solovey is ‘Too Aggressive’ it will NEVER DO WELL IN ESC”, a statement that isn’t coded nor racist (and yet extremely false and misguided), functioned as a similar idea by the same minds. A statement borne from the same breed of narrow-minded stubbornness which has caused elitist morons to be all “there is **SOMETHING** about “Kemama” i do *NOT* like and I cannot lay my finger on it... but I **DO NOT** like it at ALL. It won’t ever qualify because everyone will think the same way I do” -- Eurovision snobs, tiptoeing around racial coda in January 2020.

 They would also insist that Benny was “arrogant” because he was seemingly impervious to their (de)constructive criticism. Like, if you were a biracial butterfly living in a slavic country who had to deal with statements such as the above on a regular basis, you WOULD block out the noise. And if you heard them often enough you will start to block them out pre-emptively. DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW COPING MECHANISMS WORK?? (oh wait you’re white-privileged. Nevermind 🙄)

 So naturally, when Benny decided that he would revamp “Okay Mother” by adding in MORE African elements it only made me love him even more lol. 😍 Was it a bull-headed, contrarian and possibly really stupid decision? Yes, yes and absolutely yes. Was it worth it? Well he managed to incite even more meltdowns in a group of people I feel nothing but contempt for, so hell yeah? Eurovision was cancelled anyway so who cares how much ‘worse’ “Kemama” actually got. 

Okay, so we’ve arrived at the revamp.

Granted, it wasn’t the best ‘vamp, I’d be a fool to deny it. The new elements threw a wrench in the melodic balance of the song. Out went tropical laid-back fun, IN went that fucking guitar oh my god this is some Hotel FM piano levels of overbearing I swear. (nb: this still didn’t stop me from ironically stanning Hotel FM’s lame asses anyway 😍). However, it made the personal backstory that I loved and savoured take a backseat to the now inferior composition. 😭

Regardless, New Kemama was fundamentally the same song, and I fundamentally liked Old Kemama, so whatevs, it made no different to me. In the eyes of many Eurovision diehards we were experiencing WORST PRESHOW SEASON EVER (after three songs... lol) and nothing clinches this brainworm more than a revamp announcement. “OH MY GOD HE WILL RUIN IT! I CAN GUARANTEE YOU I *WON’T* LIKE IT”. Self-fulfilling prophecies, ya know? It certainly didn’t help when the official channel accidentally uploaded a vid with broken soundmixing (‘OMG HORRIBLE LAST IN THE SEMI!!!!’ calm the ever-loving HELL down) and took another FULL WEEK to upload the correct vid. The damage had already been done. Typing "SEE I TOLD YOU THE REVAMP WOULD BE SHITE HA HA HA” in the Kemama comment box really just is the ESC equivalent of reponding with “Actually, *all* lives matter :smug:” to a BLM support pamphlet, isn’t it?

NF CORNER

While not my favourite NF of the bunch, I found the Czech NF to be lowkey epic. Not epic enough to remember its name but regardless Czechvision or whatever marked the end of an era because it was also the last selection spearheaded by Jan Bors :o

I think I’ve made it clear enough in the past that I’m somewhat mixed on Bors Era Czechia - Lake Malawi were a toetapping good, Ickolas was a pockmarked, skin-crawling evil and the other three inhibit a purgatory somewhere between “moderately nice” and “moderate timewaste.”

Still, I have great respect for the man who orchestrated Czech’s comeback after scoring NINE POINTS TOTAL across three years with the mindset of “So what? Why says we can’t win?” so ofc I was all into the idea of the “EIGHT INDIE ANGELS, HAND-PICKED BY BORS HIMSELF” NF that would serve as his swan song.

Naturally things went down the drain the second Bors left, with one of the eight peacing and his successor cancelling the live broadcast (does anyone remember what exactly happened? I vaguely recall one was the cause of the other but lol it’s July can’t be bothered to factscheck (Factsczeck?) anymore, bitches.

Anyway, ON TO THE GOOD STUFF, and yes, there was plenty.

We All Poop - “ All the Blood (Positive Song Actually)”

Yes, as you can imagine I ofc IMMEDIATELY fell into like when I saw that chyron and invisioned the inevitability of the Czech Rep’s Rep immediately alienating every parent just based on their name alone <3 😍 w/e WAP quickly became that “Good but not great” song you find in every NF that everyone gushes over because it’s the whitest option available. Like, yes, “All the blood” is good, but musically it’s identical to Green Day and Twenty-One Pilots and god name ANY 90s-early00′s American Punk Rock band. For me the enjoyment came from the fact that WAP were openly crazy vegan fundamentalists and the VC clip actively condemns the use ANY animal protein by replacing the cattle and game with LITERAL HUMAN BEINGS. 😍 :fusedmarcintensifies: :kasiamosage:

Pam Rabbit - “Get up”

Ohhhh YES a glorious experimental Synth-Trap song only I could love and ofc I did. God what is there even to say; the provocative darkness of the verses combined with the swirling amorphousness of the chorus gives me LIFE. LUFF THIS SHIT <3333 Ftr, this was also the fave of Slovene Juror duo / synth angels / Boris faves ZALAGASPER, further proving their pathetic naysayers that they own all things music and the haters can suck a series of-

Barbora Mochowa - “White and Black Holes“

Lol, yes even with a “Get up” existing, there was a song I liked even more. Barbora proved a very competent Lana del Gay last year, but I was a YUGE fan of this year’s... Kate Bush-Björk blend of ethereal awesome. It is so soothingly beautiful and the rare example of a song that I find completely free of flaws. Were the competition not such a hard place, I’d be pissed she didnt win (at least she won the jury vote MASSIVE KUDOS to every alum on that) but w/e this selection had opions and I’m rather robbed of a “Kemama” than I am of a BRILLIANT IRREPLICABLE AETHERBALLAD. ~Danse balance sûr les white and black holes~

Elis Mraz & Cis T - “Wanna be like”

I *VERY* strongly felt that if the Czech Republic wanted to win ESC, they should have picked Elis and even now I STILL believe she could have won. That isn’t to say I gushed over “Wanna be like” because I find it kind of annoying lol. Yes, I LOVE an annoying female voice (:Tones&Icackle:) but Elis’s reaches a Camilla Cabello sort of place for me (good lord get Senorita OFF the fucking radio) and the Scat + White Guy Rapping middle-eight. 😬. However, the second I opened up the video clip for this paragraph and was immediately BLASTED by Elis murdering a ukelele and wearing a  “schoolgirl” outfit straight from a Japanese tentacle porn movie and OH MY GOD THE AGGRESSIVE TWERKING made me reconsider that hey, this min-sized Meghan Traynor actually kinda highkey owns, yo!  Yet, I’m not at all bothered we lost her in the Czech NF because we got UNO DOS QUATRO CINCO SEIS :fatmansplit: fill up the megameme slot instead, so...

Eurovision 2020 vs Eurovision 2021

BENNY RUINED HIS SONG AND NEVER WOULD HAVE QUALIFIED. jk I’m not a moron. Sure, “Kemama” wasn’t an easy sell because you know AFROBEAT in a contest where half of the people watching are fash (ie: all of Eastern Europe, who watch out of ~Nationalistic Sentiment~ 😬), but there are Kemama live renditions out there and he owns them SO hard lol. A few soundmixing issues really would not have stopped Benny from qualifying in that RIDICULOUSLY WEAKSAUCE SEMIFINAL are you fucking kidding me. He probably would’ve bombed in the Grand Final, but I mean it’s Czech and it’s not Ickolas so ofc it would have.

And Czech renewed him for 2021 regardless of the sceptics, woohoo! I think part of it was due the Czech not wanting to re-organize an ENTIRE NF from scratch without Jan Bors, but probably also because Benny owns live when he isn’t engaged in psychological trench warfare with actual human detritus <3 and also because the Czech fucking CARE about their artists and don’t drop them like a sack of rotten potatoes wtfshitprus.

Can’t wait for the moment when he qualifies and Efendi does not, etc, etc. 

FREAKY! FRIDAY! FACTOR!

I’d say that the core around which the Ben Drama spun was pretty standard fare: niche fave beats out the concensus fave, meltdowns ensue, people convince themselves it was the WRONG decision because it wasn the result they wanted, try to disown the song and make a fool of themselves because the song slaps, sorry. Even the revamp drama felt more of less generic for me, because yawn fantards melting down over a revamp of a song they don’t even like what else is new.  

However, what I do take away that the revamp was ENTIRELY Benny’s idea which he told no one about (cue to JAN BORS having a social media meltdown like he’s Caesar at the Ides of March 💔) added MORE afrobeat just to troll his haters even more <3  God, I’d say it was bad from a musical perspective but this level of in-your-face defiance is fucking iconic and hilarious, sorry. This entire this year is so batshit bonkers that the concept of a someone potentially shooting themselves in the foot and “torpedo’ing” their qualification chances  (not rly, he would’ve Q’d anyway lol) JUST to take the moral high ground in a racially coded argument only HE took seriously may not even be the craziest concept in the year! (lol it definitely isn’t. Look at the pics I haven’t greyed out yet)

This and more yield Benny some well-earned Senheads! Yay!! 

Score: 3 Senhits out of 5.

[fishyfod]

I’m gonna get this off my chest and leave it untagged, think of it what you will. Gonna go excessive with the backslashes.

I think that there are two main things that bother me about Win/ter discourseTM at the moment, which is how it frames militarism/fascism discussion, and how it frames Wei/ss.

The problem with discussing militarism and fascism is to realize there are many shades to it. It’s both a societal artifact and a personal choice. Atl/as as a whole is a commentary about militarism, fascism and authoritarianism, and the army;  Iron/wood, Win/ter, Clo/ver and the ac/eops, they very clearly represent complexities in that scenario. Reducing this argument to a black and white discussion inherently ignores this complexity and the point of these characters. It’s crucial to realize they will make mistakes, and to allow them to question their actions, even if their immediate reaction isn’t to turn pacifists all of a sudden (surprise - it isn’t).

I lost all sympathy to Iron/wood because while he does show humanity, he doubles down on the fascism, and he calls the shots as the general. I had some sympathy for Clo/ver, but then he chose to prioritize his orders over doing the right thing. I don’t like the Ac/eops when they suggest punching prisoners, but I also recognize they might be on the road to defection - which doesn’t exactly clear them of any crime, but it’s vitally important that I give them the opportunity when they show hesitance in their actions. They’re all militaristic, they’re all in a sense complicit in fascism, but I have to put my faith in those that are willing to break away from it.

And that’s what’s bothering me about fascist Win/ter talks, suddenly every militaristic aspect of her personality is hard evidence she’s a fascist. Every scene must be analyzed without giving an inch to the possibility she very well could break free from the army. Which is ridiculous when Win/ter continuously shows remorse and difficulty fitting into the fascist mold. It happens in V3 by fighting Q/row, it happens when she lets Wei/ss go free in V7, it happens again with JY/R in V8 - it’s an exact retelling of the Clo/ver scene in V7, except she defies orders exactly where Clo/ver couldn’t. Is it still militaristic? Yes. Is it enough? No, she’s not free from the army yet. But you have to analyze her actions while acknowledging this complexity, instead of trying to paint everything only in one way. And that’s where WIn/ter discourse gets tiring, when it’s only purpose is to ignore this complexity.

Also, I hate with a passion how Win/ter and Wei/ss’s relationship is discussed. There’s this insistent belief that they have to battle, so Win/ter’s character could evolve by metaphorically bowing down to Wei/ss and exclaiming how wrong she was and “snaps out of it” and blah, blah, blah. I hate it. It frames their escapes from abuse as “right” and “wrong”, it ignores how fragile Wei/ss’s situation at Bea/con was, it reminds me uncomfortably of how some people desperately want Ru/by and Ya/ng’s fight to end in Ya/ng bowing down to “morally superior” Ru/by by virtue of being Ru/by. That isn’t to say Wei/ss can’t “teach” Win/ter things - you can see this clearly when Wei/ss starts openly hugging her and how it affects Win/ter, but for the love of god stop this holier than thou argument.

And the best part? Wei/ss literally doesn’t agree with you. See how in V8E7 she praises Whit/ley not for directly helping herself, but for helping No/ra instead? This is how you can show growth in his character and development of his relationship to Wei/ss without turning it into a one-sided “redemption”. What you’re suggesting to Win/ter is the equivalent of Whit/ley only becoming “better” by taking a hit for Wei/ss and a one-sided apology he gives her.

Can you see the hypocrisy of how you’re treating them? I swear, you sound like the San/sa haters from G/oT, desperately hoping she’ll have to beg on her knees to be forgiven by Ar/ya or J/on. Ugh.

Anyway, rant over. Hopefully my next long post will actually be the analysis I’m writing and not this. At least this was somewhat cathartic.

[serenagaywaterford]

#5 - I am checking in now that you’ve read some of these reviews. Yeah, very uneasy about this development. You are right, if the diehard Serena fans are getting tired of the seesawing, imagine the casual fans, or haters. But I am still hopeful a firm and lasting June/Serena alliance is still a possibility in the second half of the show, we’ll see. Either that, or kill her off. I don’t want them ruining a great character. It is a bit tiring honestly, my enthusiasm definitely suffers a bit.

Numba 5 :D I take it you’ve read all the reviews too? Sigh. Just a great big head-shaking sigh. 

One minute I read all this disappointing, worrisome shit. The next I read something nice and positive that gives me some semblance of hope it won’t be  that bad after all, and then I come back and read new shit that sounds even worse than the initial disappointing stuff! What is happening lol. This is the worst way to build enthusiasm for a new season!! Honestly, I don’t see very many fans all that pleased in general. Serena fans are on anxious tenterhooks, Nick fans seem rather bummed by some of it, Rita fans are flipping out, Lawrence fans seem a bit hesitant, (Are there Fred or Luke fans???), Moira and Emily fans are also worried from what I can see, casual fans seem okay, I guess?? Everyone’s a June fan so... that’s sort of pointless to talk about lol. Like the reviews sometimes sound good, and then another one will say the opposite thing happens. (I really don’t know what to think about Emily’s arc... I can’t tell where its head is at based on the reviews/spoilers.)

I won’t post any spoilers, but just in case people don’t wanna read me bitching about the vague shit in reviews and interviews, I’ll cut this. Also, I’m a major Debbie Downer lol so I’m sure a lot of excited people don’t wanna read that either, haha.

But I feel ya. I’m tired. My enthusiasm has deffo really suffered in the last few days. I was just saying the other day that all these “teasers” aren’t helping either cos everything is out of context and says nothing really, but requires a lot of speculation and that’s just exhausting to do day after day. AND THE SEASON HASN’T EVEN STARTED YET. I remember last year being a lot more excited. Like legitimately thrilled, even reading the pre-season reviews. It’s weird to me to feel this way when I was soooooooo excited just a month ago. I was bouncing off the walls with joy! Now I’m burnt out, lmao.

“But I am still hopeful a firm and lasting June/Serena alliance is still a possibility in the second half of the show, we’ll see.”

You know. I’m with you. All of these reviews are based on the first 6 episodes of the season and it is sorta jumping the gun to judge a whole season based on the build-up. Six episodes isn’t even quite halfway. Maybe it gets significantly better in the backhalf. It just doesn’t bode very well if it takes 6 episodes to get things moving, and that even at that point Serena is still full on her annoying bullshit.

I’m pretty much a hopeless romantic in some ways. Like it won’t really matter completely but I will ALWAYS hope that there is a LASTING June/Serena alliance in the latter half of the season that is significant and shows Serena’s character growth--if there is any lol. Like, even in a non-shippy way, I want June and Serena working together. I’m gonna be picky and spoiled but I need it to be together. Not working towards the same goal, but divided and at odds with each other. I want them communicating and agreeing. Not just “Oh, look, there goes June doing her idea. And, oh, over there is Serena doing her totally separate thing, that’s vaguely related to the same goal?” I want teamwork. And I want teamwork with other women too. With Alma, Janine, Moira, (Emily? I dunno if she’ll be in a healthy enough place tbh.), even possibly Aunt Lydia. I don’t need unrealistic “super happy families!” vibes either. It can be terse and difficult and conflicted and they can stumble and miscommunicate along the way. It can require June ramming Serena with reality checks (as she does)... but I want them all in the same general direction, with the same general ideas of how to get there. Each has their own strengths, skills, opinions, and knowledge that would influence the goal in their own ways. Oh god, I’m making it sound like I want Ocean’s 8: Gilead Edition. And I want the complex June/Serena dynamic at the centre of it. 

But that’s my personal perfect world and this show is very much not willing to be that brave, lmao. (MAKE IT GAY(ER), YOU COWARDS. I’m only half-kidding.)

“Either that, or kill her off. I don’t want them ruining a great character.”

I used to be really opposed to killing off Serena. But that was back when I thought they were going to move her arc along to something better. If this all they insist on doing to her for the backhalf of the season, and presumably the next... just kill her off already. I suspect, based on Miller’s “jokes”, that he has no intention of killing either Waterford off -- which is a shame cos Fred just... go away, Fred. He’s redundant and so superfluous to these women’s stories at this point and I don’t care what headass sympathy-inducing crap they give us in S3, I will always feel that way. But she’s been a fantastic character thus far and to just keep beating this flipfloppy dead horse they consider “interesting” wrt Serena, just let her go. I can’t imagine anybody sticking around and retaining their interest in a character that literally never grows or learns or commits to anything and is constantly going one way only to flip back the other for seasons on end. Sounds... annoying and boring.

Maybe some people like that? Miller and Strahovski seem to. (I get why Yvonne does on some level: it’s fun as an actress to play with all those extremes. It’s challenging and exciting not to play the same note all the time. So, I get why an actress would think it’s a good idea for a character to be so... extra.) What I don’t get is why a showrunner/writer would. I’m not saying never have Serena fuck up--cos we all know she’s gonna--but just not the same ways all the time. Cos at this point, we been knew. We KNOW that every single time Serena does something kind/nice/good, she’ll snap back and do something fucked up. Like, it’s just EXPECTED. There’s no surprise. The first few times, sure. But when they keep doing it over and over and over and over...

That is fucking BORING. It’s come to just eye-rolling now. I don’t read these reviews and comments by Yvonne and say “OH NOOOOO. Serena’s back on her bullshit!! Nooooo. SAD FACE!!!!” Nope. I just read them and say, “Ugh. Again? Really? Yawn.” and “What shitty writers that they can’t come up with anything new for her to do.”

Like, we knew at the end of S2 that Serena was gonna regret letting Nichole go. Miller came right out and said it. And that was fine. That’s actually reasonable and normal and I can get behind that. It makes sense. I was all onboard for some serious grieving and regret. That’s totally understandable under the circumstances. I’m even here for the way trauma/grief/fear influences Serena’s often confounding decisions. And, I mean, I’ve seen a lot of cult-breakers and cults in general and all sorts of psychological stuff so I know Serena’s crap isn’t something she can just shut off in one day; it’s a long process--but it tends to move in a determinate direction, even just baby steps (or not at all). It’s so deeply ingrained and it’s ~safe. It takes time and I was 1000% behind ALL that. But by the sounds of that, it’s not really going in that thoughtful direction. People’s attitudes and beliefs may be difficult to change, but they don’t weave all over the damn place merely for the sake of shock and drama.

More like “We want Serena and June to scream at each other under iconic American monuments! How can we do that? Make Serena do some super fucked up thing for barely any reason!” Also, “Hide all her motivations! Make it really murky so people won’t understand it! That makes us clever. Hurr durr!!”

It’s just giving me Benioff & Weiss vibes...

Harumpf.

I will keep an open mind, but I’m no longer holding my breath that something amazing is gonna come out of this unless the backhalf of the season is exceptionally better than the first 6. (But again, I feel like S2 was like that. The second half did seem stronger overall. IMO, anyway. With 2 major exceptions, heh.) 

So, yeah. I’m trying to just not read or look at too much more until it starts airing. Otherwise I may talk myself out of enjoying it! LMAO. I’m so weak. (But I’m also such a slut for June/Serena so........)

[imagine-wannaone]

Park Jihoon Vampire Au

Word count: 3.3k

This was a request for a Jihoon Vampire au and rlly loved writing this so yanno, I’d love to write a vamp au for another member as well ;) Also I had no idea how to make a lil header for this one so I didn’t?? Sorry about that, I’d ask Otter admin but like she seems busy lately so whoops

Things crossed out - Commentary from me

Things in bold - Commentary from Editor Katie

Things in italic - Commentary from Otter Admin because she’s special

OG Admin

• Your school wasn't exactly known for being an accepting place for vamps, (no shit sherlock) • I mean they survived there, sure, but you couldn't say they were widely accepted, so they tried to stay within their own groups and the majority of them caused no trouble, • You didn't quite understand the prejudice towards them, like yeah they could be very dangerous, but all of the ones that attended school showed no signs of being the corrupt, evil type, • But there was one vampire in particular, whenever anyone said anything it really made you angry, • He looked soft and kind, he never did anything that could cause any conflict, he was clever and gentle, and definitely very pretty, • And shy, • You'd smiled at him in the corridors before, to which he'd avoided eye contact, • Or you'd say hi if waiting nearby, or try to chat if you sat near each other in class, to which he'd turn away with a light blush on his ghostly pale skin, • (Legit Editor Katie tho she pale af) • You just wanted to be nice, but it upset you - the thought you made him uncomfortable, • Or maybe he wasn't shy, as most of the vamps at school acted this way towards you, and you were pretty sure it was because they were afraid you'd bring trouble, like most other humans, • You understood of course, but it didn't stop your simple smiles in the corridors, • But you're walking down the halls with some friends towards a geography class, • Gotta learn about some rivers amiright, (Moana is quaking) • But you hear shouting from down the corridor which makes your blood change to cold, • "-You dirty bloodsucking parasites need to stay in the night where God doesn't have to look at you," • Wow you're off to start a fight (งツ)ว • lmao a verbal one, physical fights are stupid,  • You approach from behind, spotting the guy that has Jihoon himself in a corner, looking down nervously, like he wanted to be anywhere but there, • "You're such a weak, bigoted blood bag," • You march right in there, shoving the guys shoulder back to stand next to Jihoon, the blood gushing through your ears, threatening to deafen you, • The boy has too much silver jewellery and a cross around his neck and you want to scoff, • Why make so much effort just to make someone uncomfortable? What's the point? • "You're always picking on vamps when, what? What did Jihoon do to trigger you? Simply walked past? Is your self control honestly so nonexistent you can't even keep your disgusting thoughts to yourself? You should work on that," • Wow the words just tumbling out what to do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (-me to them peeps calling daehwi gay/greedy) • You didn’t think them through, and they're not what you'd imagined saying in the scenario you ran through your head every single time this happened, • But they're enough to make the brute stare at you in disbelief as you grab Jihoon's hand, still in a rage, and march him the hell outta there • Your adrenaline is running because you've finally done it, done what you'd always wanted to do • What someone (or everyone, really) should have done a long time ago, • You go to lead Jihoon outside but then realize there's only so much sun cream can do, so change direction to the school’s theater, where you know there's no lessons so it'll be dark • "Hey are you okay?" • You spin around to face him once you've arrived alone in the theater lobby, but you can't see him well in the gloom • You wonder how bad a vamp’s eyesight is in the day, if it's this bad and they just rely on their other senses • "You shouldn't have done that, they're going to pick on you as well now," • His quite voice is concerned and wary, it makes your heart ache • You head over to where the seats are probably are and successfully sit on one, not falling over in the dark • "Let them try," • You believe it • You may be known for being nice, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a sharp tongue and a strong passion • If people started to distance themselves from you now, you'd know who your true friends were • And you were definitely prepared to use your language, maybe even a few other ones as well, to make sure people knew you didn't give a shit about their prejudice opinions • And you definitely weren't going to let it stand anymore • Jihoon's quiet as he thinks over what you say, within the blink of an eye you can feel his cold presence sat near you • He doesn't quite understand you • Not at all • He doesn't understand why you stood up for him, what you have to gain, why you'd make yourself a target • Why someone he'd always viewed as so soft and kind, someone he tried to stay away from as to no be misfortune to, would voluntarily come to save him from an idiot in the hallway • He'd bite back, but he doesn't want the reputation of vampires to decrease even more, and he doesn't exactly see how it'd help, so he stays silent and resolute • But that confrontation is the beginning of a whole new life for you • A lot of your 'friends' started to distance themselves from you, or straight up told you they thought you were an idiot • Like it hurt, sure, but you stood by the fact that you were sick of the inequality, • You started to walk to classes more with Jihoon, your timetables startlingly similar • Not only because you could defend him easily when you're with him, but with your dwindling number of friends, you didn't have many other people to walk with • Not that you minded as much, you were glad you'd gotten rid of toxic people and were left with true friends

• Y'all 2k18 the year to get rid of toxic friendships (I should know rip) (-mood) • But one night it's like 2am and you're like???? I want to be free, go for a walk and buy some chocolate raisins because living on edge is fun • So that's exactly what you go to do • And you're walking back to your house in pitch black, feeling spooky™ and actually regretting your independence because something feels really off • Yeah I think we all know where this is going • You spot a pale, tall figure (everyone’s tall to u bro) behind you through a closed shop window, you instantly know it's a vamp (I’m 5′0″ legit I’m dying down here) • And you can hear them walking behind you, which means they're close because vampires are known for sneaking • And you will your heart beat to come down because you're 100% sure he can hear it and probably smell it • And you're just figuring out what to do as you speed walk down the street, • You can't run, vampires are speedy and they have better vision, you can't fight; they're stronger than humans • You're just about to start screaming when an icy hand wraps around your wrist, and you start to turn around to fight back, because what more can ya do, when you recognise the cologne, the height, the hair (I remember everyone’s height because they’re aLL TALLER THAN ME) • Wow Jihoon knows when to drop in, • He's gripped your wrist to make sure you stay behind him as he growls (exo is quakin), a terrifying hiss you'd never associate with someone as soft as Jihoon, at the dangerous stalker you had acquired  • Despite this, the feral vamp still lunges, dark sunken eyes focused onto you, almost oblivious of Jihoon • You guess he's hungry, and would feel bad if he wasn't making an attempt on your life • But I guess your own will to live outweighs your ability for sympathy, • (Can't relate) • But Jihoon skilfully spins you away before catching the attacker and basically throwing that bitch into a wall like shit man he got that pOwER • (By EXO is a bop), • You're shook because Jihoon, don't kill the already undead lil shit pls have some manners  • But then he grabs your hand and quickly leads you away like bruh slow down I'm only human, • "I'm so so sorry y/n, are you okay? Why are you out so late?" • You laugh at him as he stops you in a shadow of the already dark night, and wrap your arms around his shoulders tightly, • He's tense at first because human contact?? Why aren't u afraid imma drink your blood god dammit??? •And Jihoon can hear your blood and he's trying so hard not to smell it because you're in his arms and it'd be too easy, too evil (oh nonononono jeojang you ain’t gettin none of my blood) • But he wraps his arms loosely around you and sighs, calming himself down from the rage he felt when he'd seen you in imminent danger • Because this person protects him with everything they have in the day and damn if he wasn't going to finally return the favor • "Why sorry, Jihoon, you just saved my life, god, thank you so much," • You jump back and beam at him because nothing in your whole language can tell him how much you love him in that moment • "It's a vampire, he shouldn't have done that, I'm just sorry," • You can't stand the way Jihoon looks, ashamed and disappointed, • "Don't be stupid, it's not your fault, there are feral people in every race," (-me to haters) • Jihoon's dark eyes stare into yours for a second; you feel as if you're being weighed up, but you stare back, letting him run through whatever thought process he's going through • "You should be careful when you’re out so late, there's too many people like that," • He softens instantly, running his eyes across you, checking to see if you're still in one piece, a hand subconsciously running through your hair, and tilting your head side to side to check the veins in your neck were untouched • The cold of his hands tickle, and the sensation sends tingles down your spine but you don't say anything, just wait till he's done and hold up your bag from the shop • He sighs with a smile, he gently places his hand in between your shoulder blades, pushing forward carefully as the two of you begin walking • "Let's get you home," • Honestly after that night you're shook at how different Jihoon was • In school he's quiet and polite, keeping to himself • But damn this Jihoon almost body slammed someone and talked with utter confidence in his element (i mean have you seen his bice-nope not getting wrekt today bitches) • You loved it tbh the real boy was showing and you were his no.1 fan • You find yourself walking home together the next day, you don't live that close but his house is sort of on the way to yours so it works • And you don't want anyone to pick on him in the daylight when he's alone because some people are absolute jerks • You hold your umbrella high to cover mainly Jihoon as the sun lies in the sky; again, there's only so much incredibly strong sun cream made for vampires can do, and you know the sun still stung, so you bought along your very handy, black umbrella for protection • Jihoon smiled at you when you first brought it out, and you let it make your stomach flip • "You know, I was thinking," • His voice is quiet, soft, weaker, as it always is in the day, and you raise your eyebrows questioningly, to which he huffed at you • "I think you should give me your phone number," • Wow you legit choke • Jihoon takes the umbrella carefully from your arm so you don't have to hold it so high for him, smiling softly at you • "You're a very straightforward guy, let me tell you that," • He laughs at that as you pass him your phone • "You like to go out at night right? Like some freedom? Since you stick up for me at school, I think whenever you want to go out, call me. I'll accompany you and fight off any bad guys," • "Maybe I'll take you up on that," • You swipe your phone back after he’s texted you and pinch his cool cheek making a light blush appear • "Honestly though, please call whenever you want, I'm always awake at night because of the whole, yanno, vamp thing, and I'd like to-" • " Y/n, Jihoon!" • One of your close friends call, running across the road towards the two of you, cutting him off • You're on edge because like??? What would he like to do???? But your friend has good intentions as they join the two of you and happily chat, and you decide you'll just have to leave it a mystery • But from then on you two are honestly your own tiny squad • Jihoon becomes more open with you, more talkative at school and happier whenever you're near, sitting with his vampire friends but sometimes joining you as well • Because he's now more confident that this isn't just a one sided friendship, that he takes and you give, but he now knows he can help you as well and it lifts his non beating heart • And you're not, by nature, supposed to be a nocturnal animal but you swear you're turning into one • You always sleep as soon as you get home from school and spend your nights walking around at night with Jihoon, chatting and relishing in the silence of the darkness and the secrets the stars hold • Your secrets; you've told them how he makes your arms tingle and heart race and how you'd protect him with not only your voice, even though you know he probably doesn't need to be protected • (Ofc he does, even strong ass people need to be protected sometimes, y'all let yourself be soft) • But honestly you're so glad you snapped that day in the corridor • "Okay but what if you're totally evil after all and you're just lulling me into your lair?” • You question isn't invalid, Jihoon has your hand in his chilly one, but it's nice in the summer air, • It's pitch black, possibly 12 or 1 A.M, and Jihoon is leading you through a nearby park, you can feel shrubbery around you but you have no idea what's happening • "Do you honestly trust me so little?" • Jihoon's super speed surprises you all of the time, so when he suddenly wraps his arms around your shoulder and whispers to your ear when he was leading in front 0.28472 seconds ago you're definitely shook • He lowers his voice in an imitation to scare you but it only makes you crack up • You laugh and push forward, spinning around so he can see your face, even though you can't see him properly, only a faint white glow • You sense him sitting down, and he tugs your hand so you can join him, knees bumping together • "What can I say, I bet my blood taste great," • He chokes a laugh at that, which makes your head snap to where you know he is • "What are you laughing at? You think my blood taste bad? Are you insulting me Park Jihoon?" • Your mock offence makes him laugh again, and that sound is the only fuel you'll ever need again, you feel like you could live off it, the ring of this vampires laugh • "Quite the opposite, you don't know how tempting it is," • I mean this could make things awkward, but it's you and Jihoon, so you giggle and take it as a compliment, you know he'd never do something like that without permission • "Well maybe one day, Mr. Park, when you've fought off a gang of evil vampires and forgotten to drink your bag of animal blood for breakfast, I'll let you," • He hums at that and looks to the stars, and you take up tracing the dark veins that weave across his bare arms, wondering how it all works, how vampires work, how they live, how people live with such hate built in their hearts towards those who are different • "Why did you do it, that day? Why did you shout for me?" • You, in turn, hum at this, and send him a smile • "You obviously weren't going to, and I was sick of the meaningless hate you got," • You state your thoughts as they are, not altering them, you'd never had to alter them for your vampire friend, so why now • "You have no idea how hot that makes you," (smooth, fam) • Wow Jihoon has a talent for making you choke on your breath, because once again his straight forward words make you blush a deep ruby • It seems Jihoon wasn't going to change his thoughts for you either • "Pardon me?" • You raise your eyebrows at him with a smile, playing laid back even though you know he can hear your heartbeat speeding up • Like jeez wow you can't hide anything • "The way you didn't care; you didn't care and you still don’t. You don't care that people call you a rat, carrying a parasite, or whatever. You were brave, because you didn't like the inequality and the fact you think outside of the box and do whatever you can just to make me feel more...more included. Just how you stand for what you believe, that's pretty beautiful" • It isn't exactly poetry, and it doesn't get across how Jihoon feels to the extent he wants it to, but you understand the message, and that's all that matters honestly • "It's what you deserve, Jihoon," • His dark eyes stare at you then, closer than you remember • "You think? You think I deserve something so wonderful?" • "I know, silly, I don't only think," • He goes silent again at that, tracing patterns with his cold hands onto your palm • You can guess what he's thinking • All through his school life he's been told he was dirt and an inconvenience, an insect, (a stuck-up half witter scruffy-looking nerf-herder,) • So when someone finally tells him he's worth something? He deserves something good? • He's stumped, and you know he's trying to get his head around it • "Y/n, I'm trying not to kiss you right now," • Bitch okay he may be thinking that as well • "As long as you promise not to lose your head and try to drain me of my blood, then I think there's no reason in trying not to, if I'm being honest," • His eyes b u r n like shit that's intense okay • His spare hand, the one not constantly drawing patterns onto your arm, the same steady cold as they always had been, moves to rest on the back of your neck • It makes your hair stand up and goose-bumps to jump and run along your neck • "I can't say I can promise anything," • His voice is soft again before he presses his lips to yours, gentle as he always had been with you, and it makes your head spin wildly • Your hands jump up his spine in a dance of emotion and tangle into his dark hair • Jihoon is just lost in your warmth, the warmth of your heart and the warmth of your hands and lips • The two of you gaze at the sky later, making promises and telling truths you thought only the sky would ever know • You've never felt as if someone else could make you feel like one, whole, but with a cold hand encircling yours, your head resting on his soft stomach, no words have ever made more sense to you

[staircasttext]

Ep 12 Transcript: Jet Ski Romeo

Episode 12

[intro music]

PAZ: Um, we have to do this intro. It's been a second, um. Hi, everyone, welcome back to Stairway to StarClan. I'm Paz.

JULIAN: I'm Julian.

LIZ: And I'm Liz.

PAZ: And we're back from our hiatus. Yay. I hope everyone's been on the edge of their seat for this drama. Yeah, I don't know. We took a little break, but we are back. And I started a new job, so sorry if my energy levels are low.

LIZ: We're all stronger than before.

PAZ: Are we?

JULIAN: We are.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Oh yeah.

LIZ: I think we've all been-- we've been juiced. Some of us are recovering from things.

JULIAN: I got a rib out.

LIZ: And have mended stronger. Yeah.

PAZ: Yeah, that is very powerful of you.

JULIAN: StarClan took my rib.

PAZ: Oh no. Is this like, Warrior Cats Adam and Eve? Fireheart has become Catholic again.

LIZ: From this rib we'll make a cat.

PAZ: Damn. That's the true ending.

LIZ: I think if they take a bone, they should give you one back.

JULIAN: I-- [sighs] I asked if I could keep it, but they don't take it out all at once. They only take it in little chunks, so they would not give me it.

LIZ: Boo.

PAZ: If you could have a new bone, where would it be?

JULIAN: Very easy. I would give myself horns.

PAZ: Oh fuck yeah.

LIZ: Oh yeah.

JULIAN: What about y'all?

LIZ: Hmm.

PAZ: Um, I want some backup knees.

JULIAN: By backup knees, do you mean like for when your knees fail, or like, you want the knees that go backwards like on...

PAZ: No, no, I have like a failsafe.

LIZ: So does it like come out? Or do you just want it like in a box so you can put it in like a battery?

PAZ: You know, whichever works. I guess--

JULIAN: Just like an Nendroid figure. You just snap it in.

PAZ: Yeah, exactly. How about you, Liz?

LIZ: Um, you know, I want an extra rib.

JULIAN: There you go.

PAZ: For what?

LIZ: Because if I've got to take one out, then I'll just have like an even set after that.

JULIAN: Oh, there you go.

PAZ: Like kidneys.

JULIAN: Would it be a extra rib down near your stomach or near your neck?

LIZ: You know, let's mix it up. Let's put it near the neck. Yeah, I don't know. That could be a fun little shelf or something.

JULIAN: Three Collarbones Liz.

PAZ: Gee, Liz, how come you get three collarbones.

LIZ: You know why.

PAZ: Yeah, cause of your extra rib. Okay, that discussion is completely unrelated to Warrior Cats. But now you know.

LIZ: Wait till chapter 19. Fireheart gets another rib.

PAZ: It's because he's vaccinated.

LIZ: Kittypets do not get rabies, will not get certain illnesses, and they--

JULIAN: It's equivalent exchange for his balls.

LIZ: Yeah, they're like well, you can have fun with this.

PAZ: Okay, well, I can do these chapter summaries now, I guess. In case anyone forgot, like us, we read chapters 15 through 18.

[engine rumbles]

That was a loud car. Okay. So just as a reminder, I think chapter 14 ended with Fireheart trying to go find Silverstream to be like, stop. So chapter 15 opens with Fireheart looking for Silverstream in RiverClan territory. Silverstream finds him first before the other RiverClan warriors and tries to warn him off, assuring him she wouldn't reveal him. Fireheart is skeptic, even when Silverstream says she can keep him safe because she is a clan leader's daughter. When Fireheart says her and Graystripe's relationship only makes situation worse for the tension between their clans, she says she can't stop seeing him because she loves him.

Fireheart isn't very impressed by that, though he does feel some sympathy when she confesses that Twolegs are encroaching on their territory and RiverClan is going hungry. He realizes that Graystripe must also know this and feels guilty because he himself also feels torn between two places: ThunderClan and his kittypet sister Princess. Fireheart still says that Silverstream and Graystripe have to stop seeing each other for the sake of their clans. He leaves without saying anything else.

When he returns to camp, it's revealed that much of ThunderClan has been getting sicker and that Yellowfang is too busy helping everyone to go hunting. He brings her some food and encourages some kits to take their medicine. And then Yellowfang tells him that Bluestar has a bad case of whitecough. Both she and Fireheart are worried, and he wonders if she already knows that Bluestar only has two lives left.

In chapter 16, Fireheart stays around camp to keep watch on Bluestar while Tigerclaw is away. Yellowfang reveals that Bluestar has greencough and asks Fireheart to find her some catnip from the Twolegplace. Dustpaw returns, saying that Tigerclaw wants to see Bluestar, but Fireheart refuses on her behalf. Dustpaw says that Tigerclaw wants to show her some evidence of ShadowClan warriors hunting in their territory. Fireheart goes to get the catnip, and Cinderpaw volunteers to go see Tigerclaw, but he says it's too dangerous for her.

Fireheart gets the catnip, feeling conflicted for a moment as it's close to where he grew up as a kittypet. When he returns, he noticed that Cinderpaw has left anyway and that Graystripe is also missing. As he runs to look for her, he hears the same cry he heard in his dream. He sees Tigerclaw in the distance where he wanted to meet Bluestar and tries to call out to him. Then Fireheart hears a monster on the Thunderpath and finally sees Cinderpaw's body lying besides it.

Chapter 17, Cinderpaw is still alive but badly injured, and Tigerclaw carries her back to camp. Fireheart is wracked with guilt as they both realize he couldn't train her well enough to make her stay home. Yellowfang sees to Cinderpaw and tells Fireheart that Bluestar wants to see him. Bluestar reveals she has lost another life, which Fireheart already suspected.

Fireheart has a small standoff with Tigerclaw, who asks how Bluestar is doing. He shrugs him off, not wanting to reveal anything, and goes to see Cinderpaw and Yellowfang. Fireheart asks how Cinderpaw is, and Yellowfang tells him she'll never be a warrior now, even if she lives. Firepaw is even more despondent and asks Yellowfang-- Fireheart. Firepaw. Fireheart is even more despondent, and Yellowfang tells him to get some rest. When he asks if Yellowfang already knew about Bluestar's life, she says yes, and that the clan will not be able to tell.

Graystripe is back in the den and angrily accuses Fireheart of trying to warn Silverstream away from him. He tells Fireheart to mind his own business, and Fireheart doesn't reply. He is angry himself because Graystripe wasn't around to help with Cinderpaw, and goes to sleep.

And then in chapter 18, it starts out snowing, and Fireheart falls in a whole lot of snow. Liz wrote these summaries, so this is their inclusion. "Loser." Graystripe has found out about Bluestar losing another life. And Fireheart says he already knew because he was with her. When Graystripe asks why he didn't tell him, Fireheart replies angrily about Graystripe's own mood last night. Graystripe is uncomfortable and says he's sorry about Cinderpaw.

Speckletail reveals that the nursery has greencough. Fireheart is worried about the kits and feels frustrated at all the danger and loss the clan is experiencing. He goes to get more catnip for Yellowfang from around his old home and feels lots of nostalgia and sadness. Then he goes to see Princess, who's had her kittens. Fireheart tells her everything about what has happened lately, including the news about Cinderpaw and his suspicions about Tigerclaw wanting to hurt Bluestar. After more talking, she tells him to take care of himself and that she doesn't want to lose him. Fireheart promises she won't.

When Fireheart returns, Tigerclaw asks him where Graystripe has been going and he doesn't tell him. Tigerclaw says that Graystripe is to be confined to the fallen oak because of his sickness. Fireheart goes to see Cinderpaw, who is still unconscious. He apologizes to her mother, Frostfur, on the way out. But Frostfur says she doesn't blame him. Fireheart has another fraught conversation with Graystripe about Silverstream, is angry that he doesn't even ask about Cinderpaw, and then thinks about his sister and how much he wants to see her too. And that's the end of our readings.

JULIAN: Lot happening in these chapters.

LIZ: For sure.

PAZ: Yeah, it's a lot of like, interpersonal drama. And then also everyone's dying, I guess.

JULIAN: Yeah, everyone's dying. Fireheart is going through it.

PAZ: Graystripe continues to be the worst friend in the world.

LIZ: What happened to him?

PAZ: He became heterosexual.

LIZ: Ugh, that's even worse than greencough.

PAZ: Yeah, okay. Did Graystripe like indirectly murder Bluestar? Cause he's the one who got sick first.

JULIAN: Fuckin Greencough Graystripe, out here. Vector of disease.

PAZ: God, Greencough Graystripe.

LIZ: God.

PAZ: Yeah, Graystripe has committed like, involuntary manslaughter twice now.

JULIAN: He's also endangered all the kits.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: I think he also got over his first one pretty fast just given all things.

PAZ: Oh, like his first manslaughter? Yeah.

LIZ: Yeah, and we're on his second one.

PAZ: He drowned his sadness in his secret romance. It's fine.

JULIAN: God. And then he wants to talk about it after his friend has just seen his apprentice get horribly injured. And it's like no one cares about your teen romance.

PAZ: Right? Graystripe is like in a different book with different stakes here.

LIZ: Graystripe is in like, a YA novel.

PAZ: This is a YA novel.

LIZ: Yeah but like--

JULIAN: Graystripe is in West Side Story and then everyone else is in Game of Thrones.

PAZ: Yes. Should have seen this coming when he was like, actually, I don't care about Tigerclaw being a murderer. Don't involve me, like at the beginning of this book.

JULIAN: Ugh. Graystripe. I don't know why, like as a kid, I was like, No. Graystripe is right. This is romantic. Like it's not. Fuck off.

PAZ: Yeah. I have to agree with the Graystripe haters right now. He's really-- he's not redeeming himself in my eyes.

JULIAN: Even when he like, tries to make nice, I just have a little note that says "too late, you asshole."

PAZ: He barely even tries. He like-- he doesn't like change what he's doing.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: And I don't think he goes to see Cinderpaw either or anything like that. Um, nor is he helping around the camp while everyone's dying.

JULIAN: Yeah, and you would expect him to because like, he helped train Cinderpaw. They were training the apprentices together.

PAZ: Yeah. And his poor actual apprentice Brackenpaw just seems to have just no mentor anymore. Like he was out training with like, Whitestorm or something. Everyone's just like, yeah, Graystripe's not gonna do it.

JULIAN: They're so short on warriors that fucking Cinderpaw ran off to the Thunderpath, because Graystripe was off canoodling.

PAZ: Yeah, right. If there had been like another adult around to watch her, maybe that wouldn't have happened.

LIZ: [sighs]

PAZ: It's all Graystripe's fault. Domino effect.

JULIAN: Everything comes back to him.

LIZ: This is not a Graystripe respect zone.

PAZ: No. Sorry if there's any Graystripe fans out there.

LIZ: Yeah, I thought like when he showed up again, it would be like another escalation of like, incredible conflict happening. Like maybe he went to see Silverstream and like other stuff is also going on in RiverClan. But I think it was just a regular degular meeting for him, like a date. And he just got back and like everything's going to shit.

JULIAN: Yeah. Imagine you come back from like dinner and a movie, and like, your leader has died. A kid got hit by a car.

PAZ: The newborns are like, gravely ill.

JULIAN: Do you think he realizes it's his fault?

PAZ: No.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: Like do you think he accepts any culpability? I mean, I know--

PAZ: Absolutely not.

JULIAN: Ugh, ugh.

LIZ: Mr. Centrist? No. I don't think so.

JULIAN: Also, it's so like-- Silverstream just seems incredibly-- I know they're all supposed to be like fairly young. But Silverstream, as the daughter of a leader, seems incredibly naive about how politics work.

PAZ: Right? I guess they're perfect for each other because they both have no consideration for what their actions may cause.

JULIAN: She's like, Oh, no, I can keep the patrols away. It's like, No, you can't.

LIZ: How? How would you do this? It'd be like, (weakly) don't. Oh no.

PAZ: Also like, cats have so many children like. Unless like Crookedstar only ever had one child. I'm like why are you so important?

JULIAN: I mean, how many of them survived to adulthood though?

PAZ: I guess so.

LIZ: I don't know. Maybe she's like Silverstream number five, after he lost the four previous ones.

JULIAN: I do feel bad about the food scarcity in RiverClan. I have a solution for them, which is to go be kittypets, where there's unlimited food.

PAZ: Right? Okay. That's another thing about this set of chapters is Fireheart having those second thoughts, like, damn, being a kittypet might be better? To which I say yes.

LIZ: Damn, I miss my family being near me and also not microaggressing me at every possible like, point. And wow, they have unlimited catnip, just like right here.

PAZ: Don't have to be out in the snow.

LIZ: They have Temptations.

PAZ: No one's dying.

LIZ: They've got health care that isn't just one person.

JULIAN: They have health care that isn't berries.

PAZ: And ass ticks.

JULIAN: Also I have another note that's "Warriors Cats is actually about ecological collapse." But, uh.

LIZ: God.

PAZ: Right? They're--

JULIAN: Given the impact of like a feral cat colony on local wildlife populations.

PAZ: Yeah, I think um... I don't think these cats have a leg to stand on here. But yeah, there's that like, background plot of like, human development causing scarcity going on. Thanks, Warriors.

JULIAN: There is a sweet moment when Fireheart is like encouraging that kit to take his medicine. I thought that was cute.

PAZ: Yeah, that was cute. He had some sweet moments with like, Yellowfang in the den, too, in general. I think like Yellowfang was, like, feeling despondent if I'm remembering, and he like comforted her. It was nice.

JULIAN: Yeah, it seems like they really have like-- it feels like they really have each other's backs in a way that I think is really nice.

PAZ: Yeah. Unlike Graystripe.

JULIAN: He can learn something.

LIZ: I think it's also good that like-- oh, sorry. Go ahead.

JULIAN: No, no, no, go ahead.

LIZ: I mean, it's also nice that she's like the other person he can actually talk about all this secret stuff with because he doesn't really have anyone else. Cause his best friend has just fucked off.

PAZ: He should tell her about Tigerclaw. I bet she'd be like, yeah, I don't like his vibes.

LIZ: She's like yeah, I already knew.

JULIAN: I feel like she would be like a really-- like as sort of an outsider to the clan and also like someone who has seen shady shit go down before, I feel like she would be a really good person to like talk about this stuff with.

PAZ: Yeah, right. I can't remember if they ever had like a brief convo about that in book one, but I can't remember.

JULIAN: I think they might have, but it was when like Tigerclaw was very clearly gunning for her. I don't know if they've had a convo about like his shadiness generally.

PAZ: Yeah, I'm not sure. But considering Tigerclaw plotted another murder this set of chapters, maybe Fireheart should get on that.

JULIAN: Yeah, God. It's like, I'm glad that Fireheart is like coming back around to like, Oh yeah, no Tigerclaw is-- because in the earlier chapters, he was kind of doubting himself about whether Tigerclaw was the most evil person, or most evil cat. But like, now he's done it again.

PAZ: Yeah, this is the second time he's tried to murder someone by just having them get hit by a car, because he tried to do it with Ravenpaw when they were going to Moonstone or whatever.

JULIAN: Oh god, I forgot about that.

PAZ: I know.

LIZ: Don't fucking get between Tigerclaw and a crosswalk. Jesus.

PAZ: Tigerclaw cannot be the clan traffic guard.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: It would be a disaster.

JULIAN: It's also like, well, everyone believes him. If Tigerclaw says it-- I wonder like, do you think Dustpaw knew?

PAZ: I don't think so.

JULIAN: That the whole prey stuff was fake? He's just such a dick that I don't like him.

PAZ: Yeah, he does suck. He's the guy who sucks.

LIZ: He is the guy-- I think he's probably getting encouraged by Tigerclaw. Just like getting better treatment, and they're probably bitching about Fireheart on the off side.

PAZ: God, Sandpaw wasn't in these chapters at all, now that I'm thinking about it.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: What is she doing?

JULIAN: I will say for Dustpaw, he's a racist dick. But he does have a point about why doesn't he go while Fireheart goes, like go back to Tigerclaw instead of Fireheart going to get catnip, running back to the camp, and then running... like that doesn't...

LIZ: Yeah. And like his main contention is that-- I mean with Fireheart-- is that one of them is like a warrior while the other one's still an apprentice. And getting catnip is definitely an apprentice job, right?

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I guess it would be.

JULIAN: I forget. In the book, is it clear that Fireheart... like, do other people know that Fireheart is getting the catnip from the Twolegplace? Is that why other people might not be-- might not want to go?

PAZ: I mean Yellowfang says that's where it is, right?

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: I don't think that's like secret knowledge.

JULIAN: Okay.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: I was unclear on that. The other note I have, which is completely like counter to the tone of these scenes, but like Fireheart has just been carrying catnip in his mouth, right before all this shit goes down. He's going to be high as hell.

PAZ: Maybe he needs that. Some stressful stuff happening. It's very funny that the solution to horrible deathly illness is get high, I guess. Hey, Bluestar.

LIZ: Get Bluestar one of those like little hyper realistic fish toys with the catnip inside.

PAZ: See, if you're a kittypet, you could have that and more.

LIZ: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

JULIAN: There you go. As much catnip as you could desire.

PAZ: Yeah. I really like the scene with Princess, speaking of kittypets. Where--

JULIAN: Yeah, it's really sweet.

PAZ: Yeah, it's really sweet. And she's also just like, yeah, Tigerclaw sounds shady as fuck. Glad to see she has some brains.

JULIAN: Yeah, there also is like a really nice moment where she's like, yeah, like, you know, sometimes I think about being a warrior. I think it'd be cool. But then I go back inside.

PAZ: I like the contrast of like, Fireheart asking how her kits were, and she's like, yeah, they're all great and healthy. Meanwhile, like all the children back in ThunderClan are dying.

JULIAN: Yeah, God.

LIZ: Wow, I wonder if there's a solution to that.

PAZ: This book-- really this set of chapters is not convincing me that the warrior way of life is the way to go.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: I guess it's not shying away from the realism of living in the woods.

JULIAN: Eugh.

LIZ: I think it's also-- it must be very interesting to be Princess, because you're just having like a normal cat life. And then your brother just went to live in the woods, and he comes back now and then just to tell you all this wild shit, so it must be like, she's just like nodding, like, wow, that's crazy.

PAZ: Yeah, Princess found out about cat heaven. She's like, excuse me?

LIZ: You get how many lives? What? But only if you're the president.

JULIAN: God, from Princess's point of view, she must think her brother joined a cult.

PAZ: Right?

LIZ: She's like, I would hate to lose you to the cult.

JULIAN: Like literally, they like isolate him from his friends and family.

PAZ: Oh my god. Yeah.

JULIAN: Like only one member is like, allowed to like make all the decisions. Everyone is like, frantically competing for a few resources so they don't notice the consolidation of power.

PAZ: Oh my God. You're right.

LIZ: He also keeps getting like microaggressed for being an outsider. Let's not forget that.

JULIAN: Mm-hmm.

PAZ: Uh-huh, yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah. All of the like, in group/out group stuff.

PAZ: He joined a TikTok cult.

JULIAN: Oh, God. Fireheart went to Guatemala to find himself.

PAZ: Exactly.

JULIAN: And, uh.

[pages rustle]

I mean, the Cinderpaw stuff is just miserable.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Like, I think we'll probably talk more about it in the next episode.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Because like, the way that that storyline plays out sucks.

PAZ: Yeah, for sure. I wasn't sure if we'd talk about it this week or next week, but I think next week will probably be like-- there's probably more to build off of there. Yeah, but needless to say, Cinderpaw gets gravely injured, and you can see the beginnings of this plotline about how like, oh, she'll never recover. She'll never be a warrior. And it's not great.

JULIAN: Well, it's also just like, did y'all try to set her leg? Like.

PAZ: I don't know if they know about that.

JULIAN: I mean, they're, like--

LIZ: I'm-- they can come back to life. I think, from a writing point of view, you know.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: Come on. This is... ugh.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: Is it cause of the thumbs?

JULIAN: Just like immediately, they're like, oh, well, it's over for her.

PAZ: Yeah, they haven't even seen her recover.

JULIAN: She hasn't even woken up yet.

PAZ: Right? Like not to hammer the point of realism, because that doesn't matter, because this is a book about cat society. But like, three-legged cats do just fine also. It is not the end of the world.

JULIAN: I mean, there's also like, there is a three-legged deputy. Or like a deputy with a busted-- Deadfoot in whichever. Like he has a busted foot.

PAZ: Right? He's a deputy.

JULIAN: Which is pointed out kindly and helpfully in his name.

PAZ: Thanks Warriors.

JULIAN: But like, thanks Warriors. But like, you know, he's a deputy. He's a respected warrior.

PAZ: Right? Guess only WindClan lets--

LIZ: I mean, it's not like there isn't precedent. God.

PAZ: Ugh. And she's so young.

LIZ: Yeah, she's just like, ugh.

JULIAN: Like she's so-- it's not like she has... she just started training. It would not be difficult to like, be like, okay, we're going to train you differently now.

PAZ: Right? Exactly.

LIZ: It's just like, they always talk about how like, oh, she's such a good student or whatever. And then like the instant something like this happens to her, it's like, just, they totally give up. Like, there's no hope for her. No one's really doing anything except for like, being very, like, oh no, that's it. I guess we should just give up now. And it's so, so depressing.

JULIAN: Yeah. It's like, well, it's up to StarClan. Like, come on.

LIZ: Like some sort of framework for when she recovers, because she's alive. I don't know.

JULIAN: No, and it sucks. And it's like y'all have a shortage of warriors. You're just gonna... no? Nothing? Okay.

PAZ: Yeah, it's real bad. And unfortunately, like a continuing theme in Warriors.

LIZ: Yeah, I just... like, there could be a framework for it because they've written into like, their little cat society precedent for taking care of like elders and having like forms of, I guess like public care. That's not really the right word for it. But like, people have resources and are provided for and aren't just like, you know, exposed on a hill for anything.

PAZ: Well, that's not like... that's not what they're planning to do. But it's the like taking away like... there's no more autonomy for her. Like, you're just gonna be disabled, and you can't be a warrior, which is bonkers.

JULIAN: It does feel like though, like that this society that has like... that initially seems to have this like underpinning of like, everyone is valuable. And like, everyone has something to, like, give the clan, it's weird that they write her off immediately and like, don't find a way to make being a warrior work when warriors are so needed. It just doesn't feel consistent. And also, it sucks in a children's book. But.

It also-- there's like a... there's one moment where like... let me see if I can find it. But like Tigerclaw is talking about, like, illness in a way that Fireheart's like, oh, he doesn't... like he seems to think... oh, here it is. Tigerclaw is like, okay, we're going to do a quarantine. And like, everyone who's sick has to stay at the fallen oak. And "Fireheart wondered if he thought of illness as a sign of weakness." And so it's like, they're kind of trying to lampshade it, I guess. But it's like, well, you're... everyone else is also ableist. So it's not just the fascist deputy.

LIZ: It's just like, it's baked into the structure of it now.

PAZ: I mean, we're gonna talk about this more later, but like, reading some critiques, people pointed out a lot of times in Warriors, disability or disabled characters come up as a way to be a plot point for other characters' pain, which is definitely the case here, because I feel like a big part of this is gonna lead to Fireheart feeling bad about not being a good mentor and stuff, more than it is about like Cinderpaw herself.

JULIAN: Yeah, definitely.

LIZ: Oh, god. It's just so disappointing.

PAZ: But we'll see more of what happens with her character soon. So we--

JULIAN: Like I do think-- I don't like her arc, but I think she's a very compelling character.

PAZ: Yeah, I like her a lot as a character.

JULIAN: I like her a lot.

PAZ: But yeah, not a well handled arc at all.

LIZ: God, where do we go from here?

PAZ: I mean, Tigerclaw developed germ theory, I guess is of note.

JULIAN: He did. I can't believe the cats understand germs and are not like oh, it's a miasma.

LIZ: Yeah. Why don't they just think it's bad vibes? That...

PAZ: Right? Fucking quarantine?

JULIAN: I can't wait for Tigerclaw to figure out that Graystripe has been sneaking out and brought the plague.

PAZ: You know what, Graystripe deserves it right now. Get his ass.

LIZ: Graystripe fuckin out eating at IHOP, no mask. Graystripe is Isle of Man gf guy.

JULIAN: God. Fuck!

[Liz cackles]

PAZ: He is.

JULIAN: Graystripe skidding over to RiverClan on a jetski.

PAZ: He's never ridden a jetski in his life, but he's gonna fucking do it. Oh my god. If people don't know what we're talking about, please look up Isle of Man... I don't know, jetski guy.

JULIAN: Jetski guy. Jetski Romeo.

PAZ: Yeah, jetski Romeo is what he was called. Please do yourself a favor.

JULIAN: Oh yeah, I forget that the wider internet is probably not up on the news on the Isle of Man.

PAZ: Well, they should be.

LIZ: Oh, god. They should be. It's very good. It's very compelling. I don't know... [laughs] I lost my summaries. Where are they?

JULIAN: Oh yeah, I was scrolling through Liz's summaries instead of looking at my own.

PAZ: All of my notes for chapter 17 are anti-Graystripe. That's it.

LIZ: I don't know how he's gonna come back from this. He's a real bitch right now. Sorry to swear in the sacred Warriors zone.

JULIAN: Oh, there is one line in chapter 18, where Fireheart is like, "how can the clan tolerate these tragedies?" And like, good question.

PAZ: Yeah. Fireheart I think you're onto something, maybe, about how this sucks.

JULIAN: I think you've found the crux of it. God, AU where instead of everything else that happens, Fireheart realizes that clan life is fundamentally flawed.

PAZ: Like if you're gonna be out in the woods, at least develop like communism or communal society.

JULIAN: They got like halfway there and then they fucked it up so bad.

PAZ: They said, we're gonna have communism, but in our own separate nation states. Thank you.

JULIAN: We're gonna create a socialist commune that is so full of fascism.

PAZ: Isn't that how it goes.

JULIAN: It's just like, if all of the clans pooled their resources, they wouldn't be so vulnerable to shit like the Twolegs fishing all of the things, or like, you know, if they all had multiple sources of food, maybe things would be better.

PAZ: Yeah, they need to special-- not specialize. Need to generalize here.

JULIAN: Or like they can still specialize, but like, you know if RiverClan provides fish for everyone and WindClan provides rabbits? For everyone?

LIZ: Yeah, they have this concept. It's like the little freshkill pile. Just make it a big one.

JULIAN: There you go.

PAZ: No, you're suggesting--

LIZ: I guess make a bigger hole.

PAZ: They need to make a bigger hole.

JULIAN: Because you can't-- the prey doesn't last very long.

LIZ: Make a whole bunch of same size holes, but they're all in one area.

JULIAN: Stale kill.

LIZ: Yeah. Listen, if they have come back from from the dead medical care, they can figure out like how to preserve squirrel meat.

PAZ: Okay, Tigerclaw also made a refrigerator.

JULIAN: That's true, he did.

PAZ: Tigerclaw is like on the cutting edge of science and technology here.

LIZ: And if he wasn't an evil murderer, you know.

JULIAN: Tigerclaw is Elon Musk.

PAZ: Oh, no.

LIZ: Oh, no.

PAZ: No, but Tigerclaw actually presumably comes up with some ideas.

JULIAN: That's true. He does. Elon Musk has never had an idea.

PAZ: No.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: The scene where Fireheart encounters snow for the first time was cute though. But also like--

JULIAN: It was really cute.

PAZ: Also like, damn, you don't have to deal with this if you lived inside.

LIZ: Or you could only just deal with it for like a minute. It's like those videos of house cats being led to like a little patch of the backyard to see snow and they just go back in.

JULIAN: I've always been tempted to do that with Chickpea but she would just run up the stairs and freak herself out.

PAZ: I don't know how my cats would react.

LIZ: Have you guys seen that video where these people made a little cat patio, like it's an enclosed patio thing, and it's just like they dumped like a whole shovel full of snow just on the floor, and they let their cat go crazy in there.

PAZ: No, I don't think--

LIZ: Just roll in it.

JULIAN: Oh, that's so cute.

PAZ: That's the life.

LIZ: Oh my god. Snow inside? For me?

PAZ: Also, I do need to rescind one bad thing I said about Graystripe. He did go see Cinderpaw. I'm looking back now. So thanks, I guess. But then he leaves again, I think, so, not thanks.

LIZ: Cinderpaw is... I'm just very sad. She's just a baby.

PAZ: Yeah. Is there anything else we have to say about the readings before that?

LIZ: Um, no. It just seems bad to be a Warrior cat. I wouldn't do it. If I was a cat, I simply wouldn't be a Warrior cat.

JULIAN: You wouldn't try to reform it from the inside?

LIZ: No, I would be inside the house of a human. And I'd be getting like, just my little Temptations, and health care, and a realistic fish shaped toy full of catnip, I guess.

JULIAN: Yeah, that's the thing. Warrior cats-- Chickpea's favorite toy-- my cat Chickpea's favorite toy is this long length of plastic that came off a box. It's like a ribbon of plastic that she absolutely loves because it skitters really nicely. Warrior cats have never seen plastic.

PAZ: No.

LIZ: So sad.

PAZ: No plastic bags, no cardboard boxes.

LIZ: Not even like crinkly paper balls.

PAZ: No. But if that's it, we didn't really have a long thing planned because it's our first episode back after hiatus. We're all a little scatterbrained. But as a treat, I think we can read off some old forum threads from the archived Warrior Cats forum. I just pulled up a random page from the Wayback Machine.

JULIAN: Oh great news.

PAZ: So I pulled up--

LIZ: God.

PAZ: --the fan polls forum.

JULIAN: Oh, these are so good.

PAZ: They're so good.

JULIAN: Phoenixfire asks on 24th of December, 2009, "How many of you think I'm evil?" Oh, tragically the poll was not saved, so we will never know.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Mudstripe447 said in December of 2009, "Kitstealers, hang out here."

LIZ: I'd like to point out a post one post above that, from Aquasplash, which says, "KRRAC: Kit Rescue Recovery and Adoption Center."

PAZ: Oh. They got little rival groups going on there.

LIZ: Or is it a sting?

JULIAN: Oh, here's a real battle of the clans. Raincloud33: "OutcastClan versus DemonicClan?" DominicClan? It's spelled D-o-m-o-n-i-c Clan. "And PainClan."

LIZ: Well, which one are you from?

PAZ: Oh my God.

JULIAN: Oh.

PAZ: DominicClan.

LIZ: Great post from Spottedtalon7761, and it's just called "Give me your phone and I will do something to it."

PAZ: Is Spottedtalon gonna hack our phones?

LIZ: Maybe they already did.

PAZ: Ah, there's one--

LIZ: Check the Gmail login. Who is it?

PAZ: Spottedtalon7761 also posted, "Super hard warriors quiz." I'm very sad I cannot access that.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: Wildfeather has a lot of things that are, "Please do not click this!!!" Three exclamation marks. "Whatever you do, don't click this!" Unfortunately, it does look like a lot of people have clicked it because there are 19 replies.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: People never listen to warnings. Here's one from Icestar ForestClan. "Is Lionblaze hot or what? She-cats only!" Exclamation mark.

JULIAN: Icestar, come on!

PAZ: Yeah, that's not very inclusive of you, Icestar.

LIZ: Very rude.

JULIAN: No! "Some of these kits are dying! Donate kits! Kit play center, help wanted," by Birchie.

LIZ: There's a post from someone just called Demi. "Do you belive in Santa Claus?"

PAZ: That's a hard question to ask here on warriorcats.com.

JULIAN: Firestorm28, not listening to Internet safety. "How old are you???" Question mark question mark question mark. "Not cat wise."

PAZ: No. Here's-- I went on to the second page. Here's one from Brooksong of RiverClan. "What would you do if you were Ravenpaw? A funny poll."

JULIAN: Is it funny?!

PAZ: I might do what Ravenpaw already did. I'd just fucking leave. Oh my god. Lionpath.

[Julian gasps]

"If you play Pirates of the Caribbean online click here."

JULIAN: Right underneath it, tragic story from Rainheart42. "Kits on the way and my last mate just dumped me. I need a father for the kits." You don't. That's not how this works.

LIZ: My god.

PAZ: Be a single mother.

JULIAN: They're all single mothers. They live in a den together and they all raise the kits together.

PAZ: Wait, yeah, you're right.

JULIAN: That's in the books.

LIZ: Can I--

PAZ: Some of these, I don't know if they're polls or not, I'm just saying.

LIZ: There's three great posts from someone called Maplewind almost like consecutively. One is just "Slap (one)." "The great space," and "A DANGER AMONG US." All capitals.

PAZ: I'm so intrigued.

JULIAN: Yeah, a lot of these do not seem like polls.

PAZ: Nope.

JULIAN: Oh, Mudstar is asking the real questions. "Percy Jackson or Warriors."

PAZ: Oh.

JULIAN: Who's more active in the Nook-- the Barnes and Noble Nook forums?

LIZ: Quick, post a comment there with a poll. We have to find out.

JULIAN: It had 40 replies.

PAZ: Damn, that's a hot topic.

LIZ: Wow.

JULIAN: I'm gonna go to the last page and see if the last page of this was archived. Ah, it wasn't.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: One from Sunstep. "Which of these would be the hottest tom?" There's zero replies.

JULIAN: Oh no.

LIZ: There's a post from Runningstar just called "Do you believe in global warming?"

JULIAN: Oh no.

PAZ: Yeah, read the first book, first series. Here's one from Hot--

JULIAN: Blackstar--

PAZ: Oh, go ahead.

JULIAN: Oh sorry, go ahead.

PAZ: You can go.

JULIAN: Okay, here's one from Blackstar15. "Please help me find out what the prophece means."

PAZ: The "pro-feece"?

LIZ: Did anyone help them?

JULIAN: Four people did.

PAZ: Oh thank God.

LIZ: Oh good.

PAZ: Um, here's a very popular thread from Hollystorm with 181 replies.

JULIAN: Oh my.

PAZ: It is simply titled "Evil mates."

LIZ: God, I'm so sad I can't click this.

JULIAN: I know. These are all so tempting.

LIZ: The one that's just called poll, but it's like p-o-l-e.

PAZ: There's so many good ones. It's so sad that this was shut down.

LIZ: Okay, I have a question for you guys just based on the contents of this forum and your experience. Was kit stealing in RPing like a thing? Like a very big thing?

PAZ: I...

JULIAN: It certainly never happened in our RP.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't think it was that common on Neopets, but I was actually reading something somebody had written about like the history of Warrior Cats forums. And apparently that was like a staple there.

LIZ: Wow.

PAZ: So I guess that's a special of forums.warriorcats.com.

JULIAN: I wonder if it was like-- well, maybe this wouldn't hold up because it wasn't common on Neopets. Like, I think it would have been really weird on our forum because it was mostly people who actually knew each other in real life. And like all of the kits were our friends who had like, we had bullied into joining our particular clan.

PAZ: Don't want to cause bad blood.

JULIAN: Yeah, and there wasn't anyone who was like-- like we had a lot of trouble driving conflict in the story because no one wanted to be mad at each other.

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: It could have been happening on Neopets, but I don't-- I never did it. So maybe it's just not in my memory. But you know, that sounds... yeah, that would make sense.

JULIAN: It seems like it would be very popular among like, a certain subset of like very edgy roleplayers.

PAZ: Yeah, exactly.

JULIAN: Listeners, if you RPed via Warriors, or if you did Warriors RP and you stole kits or were yourself a stolen kit, let us know how that played out.

PAZ: Yeah, please. I would love to know how you RP being a stolen kit. Please write in. Oh, I love that one you posted, Liz. How would you pronounce that?

LIZ: Eeevil.

JULIAN: Ayvil.

PAZ: Well, yeah, that's my advice. If you want a laugh, go to Wayback Machine and look at some forum titles. It's a goldmine.

JULIAN: We can tweet out the link.

PAZ: Yeah, of the one we were looking at. Um, but I guess that's gonna be it for us today. Glad to be back.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: I'd like to end with one more.

PAZ: Please.

LIZ: So this is on the first page right near the top. And it's called "Hello, I'm the author Erin Hunter, by Erin Hunter."

JULIAN: Now, do we think this is in fact, the author Erin Hunter?

LIZ: Well, they did spell author a-u-t-h-e-r. But maybe that's just like how British people do it?

JULIAN: I don't think it is!

PAZ: I believe this person. Why wouldn't I?

JULIAN: I've never been so sad that I can't click on...

PAZ: It's heartbreaking.

LIZ: Oh, it's got 432 views.

JULIAN: Only 28 replies, though. That's not nearly as many as Goldenshadow's "Super hard quiz: Who are we?"

PAZ: Okay, well, next week, you can join us again. We'll be reading chapters 19 up to chapter 22. So that's like 19 through 21. 19 through 21. And that's gonna do it for us this week. As always, you can find the show @staircast on Twitter. You can write into our empty email inbox, Stairwaytostarclan@gmail.com. And yeah. Oh, and we're like on a lot of podcast platforms so you can find us there if you want and leave a review, I guess, if you want.

JULIAN: I haven't looked to see if we have any reviews.

PAZ: I think we do. I think we have a few. Whoever did that, thank you so much. We really appreciate it.

LIZ: Thank you.

PAZ: Thank you for listening. Do you guys have anything else to add?

JULIAN: Uh, no.

LIZ: Have a cool summer.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: Yep.

JULIAN: Have a cool summer. Um, enjoy... swimming? I'm sorry. I tried to think of a summer activity and ended up sounding like an alien.

PAZ: Real RiverClan hours this summer. Okay, well, until next time, everyone, may StarClan light your path. Bye.

JULIAN: Bye.

LIZ: Bye.

[outro music]

[merydenrr]

Good people of Merydenrr, I am howling.

1) Renee trying to pull off some revisionist history, like how she claimed she started dating Dean in 2013 (when she was still with Norm btw) and then deleted all traces of him off her social media so nobody would know. Renee, the only reason these rumors about you and Ric Flair came up again was because you flapped like a panicked duck and shut him down when he tried to bring up a ‘funny story’ concerning you, him and a hotel. Everyone who pays attention to this stuff had moved on. The way you acted (y'know, guiltily) brought it back. But God forbid the wittle pwincess gets blamed for that. No, it’s just 'haters’ online that started it, not people with brains who saw how you panicked and put two and two together.

2) And once more for the dunces before they pathetically troll here again: we didn’t start the rumor about Renee and Ric Flair. That originated from Greg Gagne, who claimed in an interview that Ric drunkenly exposed himself to Renee and an unnamed, unmarried female interviewer last year (a few months after Renee’s 1am backyard 'wedding’ to Dean) and invited them up to his hotel room (also even when we discussed it here, some anons said Gagne has a history of exaggerating things so we shouldn’t take his word seriously). Also we weren’t the ones who 'leaked’ the marriage license (why do people think we did that? Doesn’t that 'prove’ that everything we say is wrong? Idk): that was either Renee herself or someone acting on behalf on BMP to generate viewers for Total Divas (which Renee and Dean were still part of before being shitcanned for being too boring). And we’re not the ones who gave Renee grief when she failed to post a 'happy couple pic’ for Dean’s birthday. That was shippers getting angry that she didn’t give them their fix, and her being a snippy snot on Twitter by going 'Not everything needs to be documented.’

3) 'Haters.’ Really. As I recall, it was just one person going ham in your Instagram comments section. One person bringing up the Ric Flair story and calling you a cheating slut. I see three things here:

a) Renee being such a big weenie that one person saying mean things about her on her social media made her disable comments. This is someone who’s worked in the sports entertainment industry for over fifteen years, and who has aspirations to be an actress in Hollywood. And she’s letting one Joe Q. Public get to her like this. 

b) Renee deliberately looking around online for people who were talking about the Ric Flair rumors, so she can claim 'haters’ in the plural. Because as I said before, it was just ONE person in her IG peeing in her sandbox. She’d have to actively look on forums and fan pages to see people discussing it. Or….

c) Renee lying about 'haters’ so she can gain sympathy for being so brave in the face of people saying mean things about her on the Internet. Just like she lied about getting 'death threats’ when she and Dean were interviewed for a freebie local magazine (aside: still find it hilarious how Dean interrupted her and brought the question back to his own experiences with crazy fans. Nice 'husb’ ya got there, Renee. Ignores your haters and talks about wanting to host The Bachelor because he thinks the host gets to fuck the contestants backstage). One person = haters, and because she disabled and deleted comments from that post, nobody would be none the wiser. Except us, of course. Cos we’re careful enough to screencap everything she posts in case she goes on a mass deletion spree.

4) 'I laugh at my haters! That’s why I flounced and disabled comments on my Instagram! Lemme show you meanies how much I don’t care by bringing up the rumors again in another post I made so my 'friends’ and minions can defend me! See how much I don’t care?? PAY ATTENTION TO ME, DAMNIT!’

I expect a couple pic in the immediate future, or Dean being summoned from wherever the hell he lives (cos there sure as shit isn’t any sign he lives in that gaudy house) to do damage control on behalf of 'wifey’ for her shitty podcast. Oh wait, I forgot: Renee claims that she and Dean had a fight over his decision to wear a stained T-shirt out when they went to walk the dog.

But like Renee said, we shouldn’t believe everything we hear in podcasts, right?

Howling.

[knightofbalance-13]

http://dudeblade.tumblr.com/post/165817863086/notnanami-peekerjulius-replied-to-your-post

while true I guess you have to think about why rt is keeping m&k on as lead writers of fucking everything. like clearly they don’t care about the very vocal minority that tells them it’s bad writing, so this has to be making them money ya kno

While I agree that having the writers do everything is stupid: There’s the exact problem here. “Vocal Minority.” Meaning the vast majority of people think that the writing is good and are content to move on. The fact that the only complainers are the same damn ten people over and over again, all of whom are proven liars and biased against the show.

tru, rather than spend money on hiring more writers that are professionals (which they fucking can afford to do) theyd rather let the show ride on the success of the previous volumes that garnered in loyal fans who are willing to jump through hoops to defend the show and throw money at them

Oh, mind showing me the profits Rooster Teeth made with RWBY? What about the salary of the CRWBY? Or even how much money RWBY Volume 4 has made?

No? No proof? Just gonna rely on the loyal haters who will blindly gobble up anything negative set in front of them, regardless or proof? Well then, looks like you might be projecting quite a bit.

PS: The writing for RWBY was ONLY praised in Volumes 3 and 4. SO how you got that idea is beyond me, especially as fans themselves were the ones spreading this idea. And even more so, former haters of RWBY became fans BECAUSE of Volume 3 and 4. (https://fullmetalnarcissist.com/2016/06/04/my-review-of-rwby-volume-3/)

It’s a cultish fandom, I tells ya. The show could basically make a child murderer look sympathetic in a desperate attempt to garner sympathy to avoid revealing the character’s motives and the cultish fandom would STILL defend them to the bitter end.

You mean like a woman who abuses her daughter, abandons her, spits in her face, tries using said daughter to manipulate her brother, commits mass murder, tries avoiding responsibility for the mass murder, doesn’t give two shits about people as a whole and doomed the world because she didn’t get what she wanted? No wait, that was you Dudeblade. Yeah, considering your history of projection, I sincerely believe this applies more to you than anything with RWBY or RT.

Also, rather ironic considering RWDE bears more of a resemblance to a cult than the RWBY fandom, what with the hostility towards anything different, zealous devoution to the idea that everything in RWBY is wrong, refusal to let critical thinking be allowed unless to bash the show, encouraging attitudes, emotions, ideas and belief that co inside with the beliefs of the group. And considering RWDE’s penchant for projection, especially Dudeblade: This isn’t far off/

Someone needs to create some major competition for the show, or it won’t ever improve because this is the only American-Made anime with an ongoing serial plot.

Then do it. Get off your lazy ass and prove that you’re not all talk. You say you can do better? DO IT. You bitch about little shit all the time? DO IT YOURSELF.

But wait, that requires creativity and intelligence which the RWDE tag wholesale LACKS. You tried it once, it was an abject failure and none of you have tried since. That would also mean you would be subject o your own words and standards and you know those standards can’t be reached. And finally: That requires effort and none of you take time to even fact check.

So shut up: We’re all sick of this.

[asagi-s-garden]

1. Favorite place to write, 9. Least favorite trope to write, 20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on, 30. Favorite line you’ve ever written, 31. Hardest character to write, & 54. Any writing advice you want to share?

1. Favorite place to write

I assume you mean setting, since I always write in the same spot *cough* I like writing about fantasy worlds like Wonderland because there are absolutely no rules, I can write something that makes absolutely zero sense but because it's Wonderland it works, I can write the most trippy "I must have been high when I wrote this even though I don't get high" things imaginable and they're great because it's Wonderland and that's the point, if it isn't weird, it isn't Wonderland-enough

9. Least favorite trope to write

Anything to do with schools *hack-gag* I cannot put into words how much I hate schools of every kind (except Hogwarts) and I try really hard to avoid writing about them because I don't like to write it, I don't like to read it, I don't like any part of it, but there are a few times, once in a blue moon, when I HAVE to include it for some reason- especially considering I write children's books and sometimes it's just unavoidable for that, I always have a very hard time with it because I'm sitting there wanting to release my charectors back into the wild

20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on

"Well, quite simply, you can either take my very generous offer.... or I can make good on that promise of mine to murder your father as painfully as I can manage, then your boyfreind, then that little barista you like so much- Scott? Was it?- and then break your legs so you'll have to attend their funerals from a chair, so.... what's it going to be?"

Stiles' lips trembled, his breathing stuttered, dread and anxiety and God-foresaken agony consuming him as he came to realize how helpless he was

He had been out

He had gotten out of all of this but now Peter was standing there dragging him back in by the hair and-...

This was it

This was his life now

He would ... really never escape this

Peter was going to own him for the rest of his life and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it

30. Favorite line you’ve ever written

Ever? "They call me strange, Mr. Wolf", because that was the line that inspired my first book and kicked off my career (as .. sad and tiny as it currently is *cough*) But fic wise I'm really happy with alot of lines I had in Turner Dans Le Vide

31. Hardest character to write

Realistically? Probably Derek, because I know that I soften him up more than he is in canon, so I can write Derek the way *I* write him until the cows come home but I know, realistically, that he's softer in my writing than he is in canon, in total?  Probably Peter, it's hard to get a handle on his motivations because as soon as you think you have him pegged something will change, the fact is that he DOES have some depth to him, he isn't like Gerard or Kate where he's just a black-hearted void of hatred and violence, there are actual motviations besides "Eh, genocide" and he does seem to express sincere sympathy and affection *AT TIMES*- he does give people choices and doesn't force to get his way *AT TIMES* (IE: He OFFERS Stiles the bite, he doesn't force) the fic I posted from earlier gave me a very hard time with Peter because he's very morally grey, he's a bad guy but not for completely unreasonable reasons, and he's a bad guy with *LIMITS*- IE: He'll threaten Stiles in one breath, then turn around and yell at someone for using ableist language towards Stiles- so I really have a hard time deciding where his limits are and what he will and won't do to acheive his end goals

54. Any writing advice you want to share?

Write without limits and don't listen to other people- and I don't mean that in a "Don't take advice" sort of way, I mean that in a "Don't let other people discourage you" kind of way, don't let other people say you can't do something, or that you HAVE to do something else, ultimately, it's your story, if you want flying lazer cats then write flying lazer cats, if you want to write evil!Scott and goody-two-shoes!Peter then write evil!Scott and goody-two-shoes!Peter, write your bad-wrong kinks (just... tag them... please God tag them...) and your horribly depressing angst fics, I don't care if you ARE writing the seven MILLIONTH vampire YA novel, you write that vampire YA novel! Don't let anyone tell you you're not good enough for __ - you're good enough for anything you want to be good enough for, participate in contests, post on AO3, get published, go to a coffee shop and start reading it out loud, there will ALWAYS be someone turning their nose up at you and you have to ignore them, people like J.K. Rowling and Stephen King have their haters too, so in terms of everything- quality, quantity, ICness or OOCness, right or wrong, politically correct or not.... write it, I mean, be AWARE if you're writing something bad-wrong and tag it, but write it if you want to, and possibly most importantly of all? It's  YOUR story, only your opinion matters, if you want advice, that's SUPER, but don't feel like you HAVE to take advice just because it's given, if someone says "You know, Stiles would work better as Peter's hitman, not Derek's" but you want him to be Derek's? Write it, if someone says "A/B/O works better in this time period, not that time period" write it in whatever time period you want, don't EVER let someone else change something about your writing that you do not WANT to be changed, if you think it's better the way you wrote it the first time? Keep it, it probably is, don't let people pressure you into taking advice you don't want or discourage you from writing the way YOU want to write, this is YOUR universe, it's the one thing in life you will ALWAYS have complete control over, don't let someone take that from you if you don't want them to have it

[iris-sistibly]

Ariana, last na 'to promise! (Sa ngayon)

Explaining the “haters” side the YbraMihan way.

So I am once again here, lying in my bed typing on my iPad. Earlier I have been catching up with the fan pages of Encantadia, YbraMihan, and some really popular fanatics of the show. Then I got curious and decided to check the fan page of Ybriana supporters, now it’s not a surprise of how everyone’s fuming over last night’s episode, and I get that there are also people who are defending their chosen ship and Arra in general, but hey, before y’all tag the YA or AB or other fans who have been unimpressed with Arra and Ariana lately as haters or bashers, lemme just point out our side.

Enough with the intro’s and let’s get started:

1. She was given the chance and she blew it- As an YbraMihan fan myself, I was heartbroken over Amihan’s death and Kylie leaving the show, but when they introduced the whole sarkosi plot, I got interested, I know and I am fully aware that a lot of the YA fans refused to accept this plot because they want Kylie, I want Kylie, but in the end, majority if not all chose to give this story a chance, we gave Arra a chance, but from her very first appearance up to now, how are we going to support her character if her performance on a scale of 0 to 10 is a -10 to 0? How are we suppose to love her character if her performance is unconvincing? We want to sympathize with her, feel what she’s feeling, connect with her! Like have you guys been observing? She seems always confused and disconnected with her character and the rest of the cast members especially with Ru and Mikee? And why is she pulling that same old duck face? It’s annoying how she can’t even show the feel and the facial expression that is appropriate for that particular scene? And the way she said her lines, I was like girl, you’re talking to someone not oral reading, she seems to be memorizing her script and rehearsing than doing an actual scene. And how many weeks has it been? I let her first week pass because I said to myself that she will improve, oh dear, imagine the DISAPPOINTMENT! Her overthinking is not helping and is making things worse, she’s so stiff, she sounds monotonous, her facial expression doesn’t change, and her overall performance is just—no! Stop!

2. She would have redeemed the bad story line with good acting - I know, the cast members have absolutely NO control with the flow of the story. I know the writer should have written something that will really bring out the best in the character. But it’s not always the case, sometimes it’s the other way around, Arra could have saved Ariana’s character if she gave us an acceptable if not a really good performance, going back to number one, she had tons of chances, and she blew it—every.single.one of them.

3. Being a newbie is not an excuse- She joined starstruck and got accepted because she had potential, she has been in the industry for two years, and obviously Encantadia is not her first project. It’s her biggest project, it’s her break. Some people say she’s just starting, she lacks experience, blah, blah, blah. Well what about Sanya Lopez? Ruru Madrid—this guy who has been in showbiz for only THREE years? Kate Valdez? Oh my god that girl is so good! And wait for it—Mikee Quintos who’s LITERALLY ONLY STARTING. But these actors proved that just because you’re new in this business doesn’t mean you can’t keep up with the likes of Glaiza de Castro, John Arcilla, Eula Valdes and other senior artists! She said she attended acting workshops? Well where is it? We wanna see! We wanna see the fruit of her training in starstruck, and the acting workshops she claims she’s been into!

4. She’s letting Ruru do all the hard work- THIS is probably the reason why the entire YA community is angry. You’re a love team come on! Ruru’s working so hard to make this team up as loveable as the YbraMihan or the AleBarro love team yet Arra be like: earth to Ariana? Earth to Ariana? Girl where you at? I want to see a mutual attraction between Arra and Ruru’s characters, mutual unexplained feelings, but I don’t see that on both sides, it only works on Ruru but on Arra’s side? She looks like a pabebe fan girl who just met her superstar crush, that’s how I would describe it in the nicest kind of way. Arra’s doing her best? Well if she does how come the team up still isn’t working? Ruru is doing his best to make her comfortable on screen (judging from their scenes together) but Arra seems to be too…OVERWHELMED (yas! I found the right term!), like is that your first time doing a scene with a male actor? Ybriana doesn’t even have an intimate relationship yet and she’s already making everything awkward.awkward.awkward in a really bad way. Do y’all honestly think people are gonna buy this? Come on!

5. All these excuses are nonesense!- Seriously people I’m so getting fed up of these excuses that she’s a newbie, she’s a sarkosi, and she has no recollection of her past which is why she acts the way she does—ENOUGH ALREADY OKAY? I’m sick and tired of hearing the same old things over and over again! It is heavily implied in the series that she has Ariana’s memories but has Amihan’s heart in it, duh, her heart recognizes Ybrahim and Lira! I’m not expecting her to be full Amihan mode right away, because hello? Character development and transition? Fine, but what about Ariana being all “motherly” to Lira? What about Ariana having this “concern” for Ybrahim? Isn’t it Amihan-like? Ariana is supposed to be having this very vague connection between her, Ybrahim and Lira but the way Arra puts it is not how the way it should be, and the only thing that saves her face in the show I repeat, is the Amihan flashbacks. She should be thankful for that.

Overall, her performance is just crap. The way she registers in the camera is like telling people she doesn’t want to be here, and that she’s forced to do this which I am pretty sure it’s the opposite. If this is already her best, then oh gosh, you’re in big trouble girl. If you want to give your best then step out of your comfort zone and give us some rave-worthy acting, if you want people to believe you then you must believe in yourself as well, if you want people to love Ariana then reflect, contemplate, understand her character and merge with her and please stop posting quotes about haters and all to gain sympathy on social media, because drama is for television, it ain’t gonna work in real life, that’s the harsh reality, there will always be people who’s gonna tell you that she or he have no time for drama, and not all people have really long patience, if you want to stay until the finale then bring out your game face and step up! Time is ticking and you’re running out of it.