#but like. when the untamed was popular on here i saw a lot of people saying like 'just ignore the bad special effects lol'

[grimark]

i like bad special effects. meaning not just old and outdated (which in a lot of cases were actually groundbreaking for their time, but i digress) but also low-budget or rushed or just kinda corny and poorly executed. i think it adds charm where a lot of more polished productions are lacking.

[ariaste]

My god, IWTV fandom has some of the worst comments-to-hits ratios on fics I've ever seen. I've got two chapters of this fic I posted, 1600 hits, and 52 comments. In other words, only 3% of readers left a comment, and that's with me being a DAMN good writer. I just looked up the most kudos'd fic in the whole fandom, and this poor fucking writer has ~27,000 hits, ~2700 kudos (10% kudos-to-hits is a normal and expected standard for a Good Fic) but 80 comments. 0.3% of readers left a comment. The second most-kudos'd fic is an outlier with 50 chapters, so we're setting that one aside, but number three has 15k hits and 112 comments, which is 0.7%. wtf wtf wtf. My 3% is considered doing really well? WTF WTF WTF.

(For a control group so that we all have a sense of perspective, let's compare this to my most recent fic in the Nine Worlds fandom, which has ~2800 hits and 237 comments (8.5%), or one of my most popular fics in the Untamed fandom, which has ~63,000 hits and 1082 comments (just shy of 7%).)

Now here's the thing. I'm confident enough in my abilities as a writer to brush this off and go about my day, but not everyone is. A LOT of people out there are writing fics because they want to connect with other fans and share something they love, so posting a fic and getting near-total radio silence can feel really disheartening. If you liked the fic enough to leave kudos, take two extra seconds to comment. It doesn't have to be complicated or long! Even just "Loved this, so fun!" or "Kudos!" or "Thanks for sharing!" is GREAT.

Commenting on fics is part of a healthy fandom ecosystem. Fic authors who get a lot of positive comments are very often encouraged and energized to write more of that thing you like. You are directly contributing to your own happiness by commenting.

And listen, I hear people worrying that it's going to be annoying or bad if they leave impersonal "bland" comments, so let me preempt that: No, it is not annoying. I once had someone leave the same boilerplate comment ("Thanks for writing, I really liked this" or something along those lines) on every chapter of a fic that she binged in one sitting so I saw them all in a row. My reaction was, "Oh yay, I'm so glad she liked it <3 And how kind of her to comment on every chapter!!!"

We have a GREAT show -- IWTV fans Never Stop Winning, right? ...Except when it comes to fic comments. So just consider being the change you wish to see in the world, ok? Two extra seconds of your day to feed and water your local fic authors and to carry that "we never stop winning" and "oh we are SO back" energy through the hiatus until s3. <3

[accio-victuuri]

“big name bxg c-fans earn a lot because cpf give their money to them instead of xz and wyb.” 💀

I wanted to address this comment i saw yesterday but I had to organize my thoughts first as best as i could. I also knew GRA events are gonna take up a lot of my time so i had push it back. However, i want to post about it here even if the topic associated to this didn’t blow up that much (thankfully) cause it irritated me. I’m very used to certain fans having a skewed view of bxgs. I understand that no matter what we say, the prejudice is too heavy to even see reason.

So this is more of to explain to bxgs how this statement is completely wrong and why it shouldn’t even be said in the first place.

Let’s start with the context.

On 11/2, when there was supposed to be an entertainment ban, a few hot search tags popped up. The boys’ name or even BXG was not on it but it sort of involved the fandom. The gist is this person is a former big name BXG account back in 2019 who is now a yxh. They earned a lot from that work and was able to buy “ 8 houses”. That was actually what got on HS, the idea that someone who is working as a yxh can be that rich.

I guess people missed the fact that this person earned the money from yxh “work” and not being a BXG account. Some just saw “bxg” so they made a connection and so the comment i posted above was a common statement. The fact that XZ and WYB are top stars too added to the conversation.

First of all, being a big name account that posts about XZ and WYB back in 2019 isn’t that hard. Untamed was at it’s peak that time and so were the active fans. The drama was airing. They had appearances and were practically everywhere. It would not take that much to get the likes, follows and engagement for 2 people that had a lot of content going on. After that, when 2020 rolled in, I understand how some people on the c-side of things will fall off. They probably had new interests and I think the same goes for that account. They were there at the height of it and learned how being a profitable blog works. So I wanna say that this fan was seasonal. To say that they “represent” all big name bxg blogs is totally unfair.

Next i wanna address the concept of profit and “cpfs giving money to big name accounts”.

The easiest way is engagement to a blogger’s post. It may not be me giving the money in my pocket to them literally but they get earnings from engagement & through ads/ affiliate links. This concept is not new to BXGs. It’s the same as any other influencers out there. So the accusation of spending money to big name accounts instead of supporting the boys — in this case is misleading.

You can argue that a regular person, even so/os fall in this trap when they engage with blatant anti accounts. When they comment and share those posts, they give them the engagement.

Now there are two other ways that bxgs give their actual money to these big name accounts.

1. Fansites. Those that share HQ photos and videos of them during events. How they make money aside from engagement is selling photo-books. What’s important to remember tho is there is an unspoken rule among these sites ( not just bxg ones ) that a huge part of the earnings will be spent on charity and buying endorsements by the boys. they post receipts. Not everyone of them is perfect and some have their own issues and closed down but that’s just how it goes.

2. Fan artists. The concept of fan art & merch have long been alive and is honestly one of the best things about fandom. It gives a chance to artists to make something and earn from it. I have to say that this is the more lucrative one cause the really popular ones have their products ( usually the dolls ) sell out so fast and have months of waiting list. The same fan sites, there is a rule for them to use the money for charity.

Here is a post I made before about some of those charities but that’s a very small list compared to the actual initiatives that were done for years.

As for supporting the boys, these accounts buy endorsements, magazines of them in the cover ( in bulk ), organize LED ads for their birthdays or fandom anniversaries, sponsor peripherals for bxg gatherings, host block screenings for movies etc.

Lastly, however someone spends the money they earned is none of anyone’s business. These people on the internet thinking it’s okay to gloat about how they are the “best fan” out there because of how much they spend on a celebrity is so crass. It’s like giving Yibo a gift and leaving all the tags on cause you want him to know exactly how much you spent on him.

I appreciate fans that do spend. I really do. It helps alot with their brand value and career. I personally buy merch and watch content on paid platforms. However it should not be a way to measure someone’s worth as a fan. There is no need to shame people who want to spend their money elsewhere and not XZ or WYB. This kind of toxic mindset is largely prevalent in c-ent fandoms that some international fans are adapting. If there is something that the CCP and I agree on, it’s that this practice shouldn’t be demanded of fans. The idea of “how dare you spend on something you like” ( whether it’s a product from a big name fan or whatever ) exposes whoever is saying it as that kind of brainwashed fan.

So anyway, participate in the fandom in a way that you are comfortable with. We all have different approaches on how we take part in it and there is really no need to keep receipts. ✌🏼

[killerandhealerqueen]

3 and 19 for the “weird questions for writers” ask meme!

Thank you friend!

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

I don't have a writing ritual so...maybe that makes it even more cursed

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

So...my writing journey started at like...the age of 5? I drew some sort of story and my elementary principal, who was a big support of me at the time, thought I was talented and said that she would like to hear more of my "stories". I never got around to writing those stories, just because I couldn't think of a story to tell. But my imagination was always very active and I was always coming up with stories whilst playing with my dolls or playing in the dirt/mud/sand at my grandparents house.

Cue like middle school and that's when I really started to actually tell/write fanfiction. I started out on deviantart and I think wrote my first fic based off of a Vegeta x Goku fanart that I saw. Then I started writing for Black Butler and Hetalia before I got into Kpop and moved to AsianFanFics (or AFF). There I started writing kpop fics and was quite popular, ngl, before I eventually in 10th grade I believe moved to AO3. I started posting works there and there I ran into some trouble because I posted some of my kpop stories over there and people on AFF thought I had plagarized/stole my own fics and that got my account deleted. Fun times. So, I ended up deleting my AFF account and primarily stuck to ao3, where i've been ever since. I also posted here on tumblr and did a lot of prompts, especially when the Untamed came out and that's where I dove in cdramas and writing for cdramas and I haven't looked back.

Where am I now? Currently/mainly writing cdrama fics (primarily for Killer and Healer, though I have been dipping my foot into White Cat Legend and that's been fun) and where I'm going...I don't know. I don't know, but I'm excited for the journey and I hope y'all will continue along with me

Weird Questions for Writers | send me asks

[rainbowsky]

hey, is ggdd’s dragon boat festival dinner recognised as their ‘date’ by turtles?

Some turtles view it as their date, others don't. I don't really think about it in those terms. To me it's not the dinner itself, but the circumstances surrounding it that were 👀.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

We have BTS and background info that makes this story interesting and very sweet.

The day of the supposed date, among the scenes that they were filming that day was the one where GG had mud on his face, and DD tried to gently wipe it away. It is one of my favorite BTS scenes because of their bickering, and the way GG looks at DD with his gooey eyes.

They also took the zongzi promo photos that day.

There was a moment in the BTS from filming that day, where GG and DD are talking between takes and GG is going on and on about the various foods he wants to eat, and about wanting to go for Japanese food (starts at 0:36).

There were tons of rumors circulating at the time claiming that DD was dating a woman (invented lies as part of an anti campaign I'm not going to go into here), so he was being constantly followed by paparazzi and gossip sites who were trying to capture photos/info about this rumored 'girlfriend'.

Then gossip/pap sites saw DD's assistant queuing up for hours to get a table at a popular Japanese restaurant, and they got all excited and staked out the situation in hopes of grabbing photos of DD's 'girlfriend'. Instead what they saw was GG and DD getting together for dinner.

Now, just to be really clear because this is a fact often left out of the story by BXG, but it was not just GG and DD at that dinner. The producer and director of The Untamed were also there. So it's not the 1-on-1 date that a lot of people think it was.

There are claims that DD didn't return to his hotel that night. The paps who were following him lost track of him and didn't see him again for the rest of the night.

GG posted some pictures on Weibo that evening with kadian 2018 (love you Yibo). In the photo he is holding some zongzi, wearing the same clothes he was wearing at the dinner with DD. Fans believe the photo must have been taken by DD.

DD showed up at the airport the next day wearing nearly all the same clothes from the day before (he was also seen with the white Nike bag for the first time, the one that he wore until it was so dirty and battered that fans started commenting on it and he changed bags). There is speculation that he spent the night at GG's hotel.

DD had flown to Changsha to film Happy Camp that day, and everyone commented on how cheerful and sweet he was throughout the episode. Fans can judge for themselves.

Of course, no one knows for sure what happened, but the airport walk of shame in the same clothes from the night before was pretty 👀 as far as I'm concerned, and it seems like a pretty significant event regardless of whether it was technically a date or not.

A lot of BXG believe that June 22nd is their anniversary, and this is one of the reasons why (fans were trying to come up with a reason why GG and DD often kadian 622, and one of the theories is that it is their anniversary date). The timing of it being close to that date leads some BXG to believe that this was the day they first got together.

I go back and forth in my mind about when I think they got together. I think it's likely that they were together long before then, but the idea that this was the true beginning of their relationship definitely makes a sweet story.

[three--rings]

Word of Honor: Watch It Already

Yeah it’s time to do a rec post for real.  Because seriously, y’all, join me.

NOTE: All gifs in this post were made by @jingyans​, who very graciously allowed me to use them.  Please do not repost and go see her blog for all the gorgeousness!

What is it?

Word of Honor/ Shan He Ling/ 山河令 is a Chinese drama series with 36 episodes currently in the process of airing.  It is based on a danmei/BL webnovel by Priest called 天涯客/ Tian Ye Ke/ Faraway Wanderers.  (Which I have not yet read, so everything in this post will be based solely on the show as aired up to ep 11.)

It’s set in Fantasy Ancient China, much like previous popular series The Untamed and is part of the same general genre. 

What’s it about?

Okay.  So Zhou Zishu was the leader of the Window of Heaven/Tian Chuang, an organization of spies and assassins who worked for a prince.

He saw basically everyone he cared about/his entire sect killed for the organization, and he decides he wants out, but there’s no leaving alive.  He essentially manages to find a loophole by using a cruel fantasy method to basically slow poison himself, guaranteeing his death in three years.  But he’s free. 

Cut to six months later, when he’s living his best life being completely drunk in a gutter, disguised with a fake tan, terrible beard and general squalor.  He draws the attention of a mysterious gentleman, our love interest Wen Kexing.

Wen Kexing completely fixates on Zhou Zishu (or Zhou Xu, as he introduces himself), declaring him incredibly beautiful, despite his rough state, and starts a bit of light stalking.

These two have a lot of humorous bantering around, before eventually stumbling into the plot in the form of a young teen boy who is the only surviving member of his brutally murdered clan.  They are tasked with taking him to someone trustworthy and thus the two equally mysterious warriors now have an adopted son together. 

That’s the basic set-up, and the show is pretty much evenly split between really adorable flirting, wacky hijinks, and operatic political drama plot.  All of these typically involve fight scene choreography.  Though, to be fair, I’ve seen less than a third of the show at this point, though I have something of a feel for what is coming from people watching it without English subs.

So...about that romance?

Look, there’s no beating around the bush here, I really can’t imagine being into this show if you’re not into the idea of a prominent romance between two male characters.  The novel, being danmei, is blatantly a queer romance, but this is China, which means censorship. 

**And I’m only saying this because this is tumblr, and no one cares what we think here, but, look, it’s a freaking miracle this show passed censorship because it is NOT subtle at all in its gayness.  The plot...really doesn’t make sense without a romantic aspect, and it’s really hard to miss.  It’s so blatant, that it’s hard to watch without remarking on it, which means a lot of people are afraid of the show being pulled or edited by the government before it’s done airing.  There’s precedence for that happening.  Seemingly even the makers are concerned, hence them releasing 9 episodes a week, up from the original 4.  So please, if you do watch it, don’t go yelling in the comments or on twitter or wherever about how it’s showing up the Chinese government’s censorship or whatever because that’s putting people’s careers in real danger, not to mention harming the show.**

ANYWAY.  The romance involves a HUGE amount of flirting, mostly initially from WKX to ZZS, but fairly soon they start throwing around the word “zhiji” aka “soulmate” to describe what they mean to each other.  If this seems very blatantly romantic, it IS, but it can also describe a platonic connection, which is how they manage to get away with this.  Still, it’s swoon-worthy honestly.  The mood for me is a very good period romance, because I’m wildly flailing about their sleeves touching or hands brushing over here, so if that’s your jam, please join us.

I’m going to get into slightly more spoilers under a cut, because I think it’s very fun to watch the show without knowing ANYTHING about it, but if you need further convincing/specifics please follow me.

The show also seems to involve a lot of alternating fluff and angst, which, let’s be honest here, is kinda what we like right?  It seems like they don’t want to keep us in pain for more than an episode or so without some resolution, but then new pain happens again.  These two break up and get back together a lot, is what I’m saying. 

Why should I watch it?

Like most good danmei, the show balances deep romance with interesting and exciting plot, but the characters are the real stand-outs here.  Both male leads are older than your average drama protagonists, somewhere close to 30.  And they are both essentially villains.  Not just characters with dark pasts, but really the bad guys of other people’s stories.  The novel is actually a sequel to a totally different romance, and at least ZZS was an antagonist in that story. 

(Above: Evil is a good look on Wen Kexing.)

But here we have two very morally dubious characters: one who has given up that life and one who is still actively causing harm, and the story is about how they connect and change as a result.  (Again, I’m drawing slightly on what others have said of where the story is going and also just making assumptions.) 

If you have a moral problem with loving and shipping dark characters, this isn’t the show for you, no matter how cute it may appear.  This isn’t a “pure” couple, no matter how little on-screen sexuality we will get.  But if you love exploring morality and complicated characters who don’t always make the right choices, like I do, this is Your Thing.

Thankfully, the scriptwriter has come out and said there will be a happy ending for the main couple, at least.  So there’s that to hold on to as we face the angst and pain that is inevitably coming.  (From the novel I hear, yes, there’s some serious suffering in store.) A lot of us thought the show looked light and fun and now...we’re gonna be in pain.  So consider this fair warning as well. 

There’s also a cast of very easy to like side characters, in particular the “kids” A-Xiang (WKX’s servant) and Cheng Ling, the boy they rescue.  There’s also a colorful cast of villains that have huge amounts of style if nothing else. 

Downsides?

So the show was made on a VERY limited budget.  Overall I think they did a fantastic job.  But the seams DO show from time to time.  There’s not a lot of CGI (which is a good thing imo) but sometimes there are very obvious places they didn’t have the resources they needed, like crowd scenes made of the same 4 actors cut and pasted again and again, lol.  However, I think they did a great job on the costumes for the most part, and the sets look nice. 

There’s also been some criticism for the makeup which ZZS wears in eps 2-5, his disguise.  He’s meant according to the novel to look totally different and ugly.  But in reality he has a tan, some small scars, a painted on beard, and is dirty and disheveled.  Making his skin darker and calling that “ugly” is an unfortunate trope. I think the criticism is valid to an extent, but I hope it won’t destroy anyone’s enjoyment of the show. The makeup is gone forever midway through ep 6. 

Where can I watch it?

I’m going to assume most people reading this will be looking for a version subbed in English.  That is available on Youtube on the Youku official channel.  As of this typing, they have released 11 episodes with subs.  There are no fansubs otherwise available.  The Chinese language release is somewhere around ep 20-something? That is available through the Youku website. I believe their release schedule has the last episode coming out around March 23, but we’ll be weeks behind for the English version.  (Pardon the lack of a direct link to YT, but just search Word of Honor and you’ll find it.  If I have links tumblr will disappear my post.)

So please, come join us in this hell.  It’s been a while since a ship hit me so incredibly quickly and a lot of people have the same feeling, it seems.  Give it a few episodes, and see if you’re not WILDLY in love by episode six.  (Before that I was in like.  After episode six I wrote emergency fanfic.) (Episode six pictured below.)

[btsandvmin]

Vmin and “The Untamed”

Remember my post about Vmin and The Notebook? Well this is something similar to that, except not as big but a lot gayer. The Untamed is a very popular Chinese drama and even though they can't be too explicit about it thanks to censorship in China, it's based on a very explitic BL novel, and they definitely tried to hint at the gay romance as much as they could in the drama. (Even so a lot of the general audience failed to see these non-platonic cues and simply saw them as very close friends.) Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are two very different people who end up being each other’s person, the one they stand by no matter what, despite not getting along at all when they first meet.

Let me just show the synopsis for you so you might get a clue on what it's about.

"The series follows the adventures of two soulmate cultivators who travel to solve a series of mysteries that link to a tragic event in the past. While the original web novel depicted an explicit romance between the two main male characters, the adaptation was censored with homoerotic subtexts instead due to China's ban of LGBT portrayals in films."

How gay their relationship is and how much they got away with when they made this drama is kind of facinating, but it’s also very sad to see it can't just be shown.

In general the drama just has a lot of relationships that are turned from explicitly romantic in the book into platonic ones.

Anyways, so how do I make this about Vmin? (Besides the obvious soulmate parallel.) I think those of you who have watched or read The Untamed can likely already see where I am going.

By the way, there are some small spoilers from The Untamed, but nothing major. 

Taehyung and Jimin are both fans of watching dramas (we’ve even seen them reference drama scenes between them like “perhaps I like you”), and while I don't know for sure it wouldn't surprise me if they have watched The Untamed. Considering it's popularity at the very least I would guess they have heard of it. The timing of when it aired in Korea also matches pretty well before the ON mv recording as it aired in Korea late 2019. This is interesting because of Taehyung's markings and styling for ON.

Especially the combination of the marks on the neck with the heavy chains made a lot of fans of both BTS and The Untamed think of a character from the drama named Wen Ning.

But not only that, Taehyung said he came up with it himself and requested for them to do it. So it's definitely something from Taehyung. 

On top of that he specifically said he looked forward to ARMY's theories about it. Meaning it seems like it does have a particular meaning that he wants fans to pick up on. I'm not the only one who thought of The Untamed as they saw Taehyung's vein tattoos on his neck. However, the markings are talked about as thorns, which matches the rather biblical theme of the other ON mv, so it really might just be that.

Still, The Untamed look was something that a lot of fans picked up on and talked about and I thought it was rather cute and fitting. It’s also possible that if Taehyung was curious about ARMY’s theories, he might have seen the talk about his similarities to the character Wen Ning from The Untamed. So while I don’t think the idea was for Taehyung to replicate The Untamed look, he might have come across it later, because quite a lot of fans commented on it.

Taehyung has also worn the same clothes as the actor who played Lan Wangji, but likely just taken from the same fashion show or could be from the stylist rather than Tae himself (we know similar outfits happen a lot between idols, and I expect this is the same).

In the drama there is a scene where Wuxian and Wangji talk about being life confidants, or as many interpret it, as them being soulmates. (Clip) 

Again, there are some different translations here, and honestly it seems the chinese word can’t (or shouldn’t?) be directly translated to soulmates, but I think in essence they still kind of are soulmates. (I also have no clue what possible translation they used for the word in the Korean subtitles.) Still, a lot of the fandom at the very least (and some of the translations) calls them soulmates.

They also have a song. Wangji wrote it for them, and it’s actually named after their combined name “Wangxian”. 

Towards the end of their honeymoon, Wei Wuxian plays the song for Lan Wangji. He then suggests almost ten names for the song, including "Love Song of Lan Zhan and Wei Ying," and "Everyday Song of Hanguang-Jun and the Yiling Patriarch." Lan Wangji then states that there is a name, "Wangxian." Wei Wuxian bursts into laughter, declaring it a wonderful name.[5]

I don’t think I have to tell you why having a song personal to them might make me think of Vmin... But just in case someone fails to see it, you have two very non platonic looking soulmates who have their own song that one of them wrote. Yeah, just gonna let you think about that for a moment.

But all of this is just fun and games, simply a lot of similarities... But there is that one moment that legit makes me wonder if Vmin have seen The Untamed, and even possibly references it together. It could be a coincidence of course, but the timing and the similarities just makes it impossible for me to let it go. And that moment is from when BTS were at the Pop up store in Seoul in october 2020.

The writing says:  Kim Taehyung was here.  Park Jimin was here too.

This happens in The Untamed. There is a scene where Wangji gets drunk and writes “Lan Wangji was here” on the wall. Wuxian then later also adds his name under it. “Wei Wuxian was also here” (Clip) (Translations may vary slightly but the sentiment is the same.) 

Funny enough this is also in a scene were Wangi gives Wuxian a chicken, which is one of those subtle gay hints, as this gift was usually used for proposals. Either way the words written in that scene are so similar to Vmin’s I got kind of stunned the first time I saw the Vmin moment.

In particular the fact that they used their full names, and not just Jimin and Taehyung, stands out a bit to me here.

If this is a direct reference to The Untamed, that's a pretty gay reference. And if it's a coincidence it just shows how Vmin being soulmates makes them act like such in all kinds of ways. Personally it wouldn't surprise me if it was a reference considering Taehyung's liking for LGBTQ+ things and dramas in combination with the way he mentioned the tattoo specifically. The Vmin part of it all is what really does it for me. Because two soulmates happening to write the same things as two other incredibly popular soulmates does seem like a rather big coincidence. Still, impossible for us to know... And once again it could just be me seeing things that aren’t really there. Even if it’s not actually made on purpose I still think the similarities makes it another cute example of Vmin being like on-screen couples.

But if it's intentional I'd dare say it's one of the most directly non straight references Vmin has done since their 2015 gay drama and 4 o'clock including a reference to a gay movie.

So, there is a story of two men meeting (one putting up a wall at first), going to school together and then learning to understand each other and to work together. Connected by the red string of fate despite being very different people (there is literally some references being made of them being tied together by a string). Having their own song written by one of them and living in a society where their relationship can't be allowed to look too "queer" so they have to settle for close friends and soulmates.

So which pair am I talking about again?  

Anyways... WangXian soulmates. Vmin soulmates.

Thank you all for reading. And please remember this is meant as more of a fun lighthearted post rather than a proper analysis. I hope you enjoyed it. :)

[tasteofyizhan]

Hi, I’ve been wondering this for a while... given how popular both GG and DD are, I would be really amazed if there were no pictures of them together taken by paparazzi or fans. But there seems to be none. I hate to say this but realistically there must be greedy people out there who would jump at profiting from selling their pictures to the media. And it seems that the rumors are that they interact with each other outside of their living space. Anyway, I was wondering what your thoughts were. Thanks!

Hi! I want to start this off by saying that this is fake, this is fanfiction, and is purely my personal opinion on the topic, so please don’t take this as fact. Other people may have a different take, and that’s perfectly fine - the only 2 people who really know what’s what are GGDD. The rest of us are mere spectators, trying to guess at the truth. 

Now, with that said, I’m going to break this post into photos taken of them during the Untamed, and photos taken of them post-Untamed. Why? Because I think the amount of photos and BTS of taken during the filming of the Untamed have shaped people’s expectations on the amount of material that they expect to find on GGDD post-Untamed, and I want to talk a bit about why we should be happy that there isn’t more material on them post-Untamed.

So I think there’s some fandom consensus that whatever started between them really solidified/became serious when they began filming the Untamed. I say this because of some of the things that came out from the BTS - for example, the birthday BTS, and DD’s post the next day gives me a very strong impression that for him, at least, was when he had made up his mind about GG. So I’m going to hazard a guess and say that that was when they really decided how they wanted to take things forward. 

Now, if we go by that timeline, there are plenty of pictures and videos of them, and all of those can be excused by the fact that they’re co-workers who have to work in close proximity with each other - literally, the very nature of their respective characters means that they share plenty of scenes. To me, this is the perfect cover for a budding relationship, where you can constantly be around and touch someone you’re interested in and pass it off as “guys being guys and hanging out and roughhousing”. So what I’m trying to get at is that there are tons of pictures of GGDD together during this time - just that it makes it harder for people to sort out whether it’s pictures of co-workers hanging out, or whether it’s something more. (I mean it’s easy for us, but that’s because we’re all clowns!)

However, there’s one set of photos that stick out to me, and that’s the Dragon Boat festival. You can read more about that here. I’m going to guess and say that that was probably the first time that GGDD was aware of the spotlight on them - the spotlight being the world outside the bubble of the Untamed set. Sure, there were cameras pointed at them all the time while they were on set, but that’s on set, where there’s an expectation that they would be filmed. This was the paps trying to catch DD on a date with his “girlfriend”, and finding GG there instead. Then after that, the Untamed blew up, and suddenly the whole world was looking at them. I don’t think anyone in the cast or crew expected to find this much level of success - yes, there was already a set fanbase from the books, but this not only turned out to be a massive hit in China, it also swept through Southeast Asia and even caught the attention of people halfway around the globe in America and Europe. Now, if the Dragon Boat photos had put them on alert, the resulting craze for the Untamed would only make them more wary. 

The Untamed aired from June to August 2019. According to this incredible post, GGDD’s last joint interview was the Thailand fan meet in September 2019. That’s also the last time we have “good” BTS videos and photos of them - because any interactions between them could easily be explained away as them promoting the show. After that, with exception of when they meet at award shows or for official events, it seems like the amount of BTS photos and videos of them together abruptly drop off, so it’s natural that some fans wonder why it is, when they’re supposedly so close. 

My guess is that post-Untamed, they’ve become much more aware of the number of eyes watching them. They know the lengths that some fans will go to, and they’re very careful to take precautions and surround themselves with people they know they can trust. And the lengths that they go to protect their privacy can be extreme - I’m linking to this old article to highlight that as far back as 2019, GG was already engaging in defensive tactics to try and avoid crazy fans. Last year, there was a period where they began adopting each other’s style to the point that on a casual glance, people mistook GG as DD and vice versa. There was some speculation that they did this on purpose so in the event that someone actually saw them, they would have assumed that it was actually the other person. (ie. if someone saw GG exiting DD’s hotel but dressed like how DD would have dressed, they would have assumed it was DD). 

In addition, there were clips that showed how uncomfortable both of them were when they realised the full extent of how much BTS there was, and how much BTS had been released. If anything, that would probably only reinforce their need for discretion. Keep in mind that while China has decriminalised homosexuality, however, LGBT folk are still discriminated against. Any photos or videos of them that can’t be explained away would have a serious impact on their careers, so I’m not surprised that they’re now very careful about what they do and how they behave around each other publicly, which might be a stark contrast on how they used to behave around each other when filming the Untamed. You can see how stiff and formal they are around each other at official awards and events, and this is the reason why. 

Also, keep in mind that they’re also both busy professionals with very hectic schedules, and who probably don’t have a lot of opportunities to physically meet, and the lack of photos or videos of them together post-Untamed would make a lot of sense.

It’s also good that they’re not always collaborating professionally (even though a collaboration would mean that they would get to legitimately spend time with each other). Both of them are trying to move beyond the label of 小鲜肉 (literally, little fresh meat), which can have negative connotations - ie. they’re just a pretty face with no talent. Their success outside of the Untamed and outside of each other proves that they’re not just one-trick ponies who only are only famous or successful because of fan service, and that’s good.

However! 2020 was kind of an incredible year for how much DD slipped up during TTXS (and on other shows). There were so many instances where he said something that left his brothers scrambling to cover for him. Others have done a far more detailed and better job in covering some of these instances here and here. You have infer a bit more, and you don’t get everything laid out for you in a photo or a BTS video, but their interactions are still there - just in a different form.

[nutty1005]

Xiao Zhan, welcome to the cruel entertainment business

Original Article: https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/6qaJPp9O1exu4M8xtbt71A Original Author: 杨晋亚 Translator’s note: The original author is part of Yuli Studio, this article is published in Yuli Studio’s Weixin Official Account on 15 Sep 2019 as a part of “Behind the Screens” Volume 210.

“I never thought it would happen this way, this was fated.”

A month ago, he was just accepted by audiences due to “The Untamed” and just became one of the most popular actors. Now, he had to take on the responsibility of a movie’s box office as the main lead actor, and show his worth to the movie industry.

Three days before “Jade Dynasty I” aired in the cinemas, Yuli Studio met up with the nervous Xiao Zhan, who told us his fears, “Movies, well, they are very direct, very pragmatic and very cruel, so there’s no choice, since we’re already here, I just have to work hard to do my best.”

With traffic and popularity, comes others’ views and opinions – some expected him to withstand the stress of the box office, but there were also others waiting to laugh at his failure. “Jade Dynasty I” was the first obstacle Xiao Zhan was breaking through, and the path ahead was still long.

Xiao Zhan, welcome to the cruel entertainment business.

Xiao Zhan at “Jade Dynasty I” Press Conference

01

Looking back at the movie journeys of all the traffic actors, no one was like Xiao Zhan, who took on a movie while he was still a nobody, and this movie aired just barely 2 months after he made a name, putting his resource conversion ability to a public test.

On the first day, the box office was 142 million, on the second day it broke 200 million, these were the results “Jade Dynasty I” achieved during the Mid Autumn movie season, which exceeded many people’s expectations. The first day was with fans support, the second day still had interested moviegoers, Xiao Zhan’s first time as the lead actor on silver screen and he miraculously withstood the box office.

“Jade Dynasty I” Super Topic + Maoyan Movie Professional Box Office Chart

This was Xiao Zhan’s third time on the silver screen.

The first time, he was a little monster dressed in flowery clothes in “Monster Hunt 2”, drowned in a sea of group actors, almost unnoticeable as the camera panned past him in a second. The second time, he was a special agent, a side character that barely had 1 minute of screen time, in “The Rookies” during that year’s summer movie season. The third time, he became the main lead actor and took on the entire movie, presenting the process of innocent Zhang Xiaofan becoming a demon.

The production team of “Jade Dynasty I” revealed that, whether or not Xiao Zhan became popular, the movie was planned to air on 8 Aug, however because the post production was incomplete, hence it was shifted to the Mid Autumn movie season.

Director Cheng Xiaodong said that the luckiest decision he made for “Jade Dynasty I” was to cast Xiao Zhan, “I never thought that his acting would be so natural so good, he is not pretentious, and he is very humble, when you tell him something he will listen and improve.”

Stage photographs from “Jade Dynasty I”, Xiao Zhan before and after demonizing 

On set, Cheng Xiaodong even actively added some scenes for Xiao Zhan, for example the scene at the start of the movie where Xiaofan was fantasizing about his senior, Tian Linger, “I found that he could act in all layers, he could do dull and dimwitted, he could do the demonizing transformation later on, so this movie he had many layers, the pace kept changing.”

To Xiao Zhan, Zhang Xiaofan of “Jade Dynasty I” was an unforgettable milestone, it was considered to be his toughest filming. Filming in conditions under 20°C and being blown by a giant fan, hung upside down for a free fall of 30 meters, in order to maintain his sense of the role, he even turned off the heater in his trailer, just so that his body will adapt to the temperature outside.

Before “Jade Dynasty I” aired, Xiao Zhan once said, “If the reception of the movie isn’t very good, I just have to work harder in the future. If it was not bad, then I am grateful that you saw my hard work from that period of time.”

After the movie aired, Xiao Zhan became the center of discussion for “Jade Dynasty I”. The movie’s quality was the result of an entire movie crew’s hard work, but now that all the discussions had landed on Xiao Zhan, to a certain degree, that was the price to pay for fame.

Stage photograph from”Jade Dynasty I”, Xiao Zhan as Zhang Xiaofan 

02

On 23 Aug, there was a video on Weibo that was reposted a few tens of thousands of times.

In the video, Xiao Zhan had just ended a day’s filming, and after he got off the car, the 20 over fans waiting at the hotel entrance got rowdy, they blocked Xiao Zhan’s path and took pictures of him in his face using their phones. Spotting a gap at the side, Xiao Zhan suddenly took off running, and then he safely entered the elevator.

During the filming period of “The Oath of Love” recently at Wuxi, crazy fan actions were happening everyday as Xiao Zhan went to and from his work, sometimes they would surround and block him in the underground car park, sometimes when he got into the car they would forcibly block the car doors from closing, sometimes they would knock on his hotel room door to stuff notes to him.

Xiaofan, a staff who worked around Xiao Zhan said that the sasaeng problems was already very serious, the company wanted to provide him two assistants and security guards, but Xiao Zhan insisted not to.

“Because he didn’t want to give off the impression that he started acting like a big shot after he got famous.”

During the interview, Xiao Zhan spoke about the sasaeng problems again

From the media’s perspective, we have witnessed many artists change after they got famous, some would have a star aura, some would be exuding confidence from in to out, Yuli Studio’s reporter Lanpangzi once visited the set of “The Untamed”, and one year later met Xiao Zhan again at the “Jade Dynasty I” press conference, Lanpangzi discovered that Xiao Zhan was still as warm and accommodating like the boy-next-door.

At the backstage of the press conference, a few tens of guests spoke to Xiao Zhan consecutively, he was smiling at everyone, and slowly fulfilled each and everyone’s request to take a photograph together, and only until 4pm that afternoon he was able to finally have time for a few mouths of a lunchbox. The continuous non-stop interviews started at 4.05pm, all the reporters wanted a photograph together, and he tried to accommodate even under such tight scheduling.

After becoming famous, Xiao Zhan had more and more interviews, and if he was not careful, he would be accused of putting on airs if the arrangements of the interviews were done wrongly. Xiaofan said that Xiao Zhan himself was especially aware of this point, “He is now even more nervous than before, and he had expectations of all of his staff, please don’t think that he is putting on airs just because of our errors.”

Xiao Zhan at the “Jade Dynasty I” Press Conference

After joining the “Jade Dynasty I” press conference in Beijing, Xiao Zhan had to quickly fly back to Wuxi to continue filming.

Before “The Untamed” finished airing, Xiao Zhan had already entered the filming for “The Oath of Love”, and filming while at the height of his fame would mean that he would miss a lot of event opportunities. When his fans were worried about his limited exposures, Xiao Zhan’s thoughts was that: “What’s there to be worried about, I feel that an actor’s life comes from his works.”

In fact, Xiao Zhan had received a lot of invitations from many events, so his biggest worry was how he could maintain his normal acting condition.

“Some events you just had to complete, and then I had some commercial obligations prior, like that day at Suzhou, that was a contract that I signed then,” Xiaofan said, “the last thing that Xiao Zhan wanted to do was to take leave.”

Xiao Zhan’s current schedule at “The Oath of Love” was from 8am to 10pm, if he had to take leave, it meant that when Xiao Zhan returned to the set he would have to work overtime to film his scenes.

Stage photograph from “The Oath of Love”, Xiao Zhan as Gu Wei

The performance teacher accompanying the filming , Yang Xu, witnessed Xiao Zhan’s helplessness and anxiety.

“His load in ‘The Oath of Love’ was especially big, basically we could only discuss his scenes that day while he was doing his make up in the morning, because the filming would end very late at night, I wanted him to go back for more rest. Moreover the fan problems now are too prominent, sometimes he would also talk to me a bit, although I don’t think this incident affected his mood or his performance, but it definitely affected his normal resting time.”

For a while, Yang Xu was very worried about Xiao Zhan’s condition, but what surprised him was that, although the filming would end very late at night, but by the next day, Xiao Zhan would have memorized his lines and made full preparations before coming to the make up room.

“That was what made him powerful, and I found that he would actually really use every bit of spare time to prepare for the role and his lines, for example, while doing his make up, even when going to the toilet, he would be holding the script, and then during the rest period after filming every scene, he would be reading his lines with me while drinking coffee, because lines reading needed partners, I said you just take me as your partner.”

When he was away from the set on leave, Xiao Zhan took late night flights between Beijing and Wuxi almost every time, and in the photographs taken by his fans at the airport, he would also be reading his script.

Stage photograph from “The Oath of Love”, Xiao Zhan as Gu Wei 

Every early morning at the make up room would also be the spare time for Xiao Zhan and Xiaofan to talk about their work and release stress.

“Now he does not seem to enjoy the applause and glory from the opportunities that came with his sudden fame, a lot of it was some anxiety and confusion,” in Xiaofan’s eyes, these two months in Xiao Zhan’s life definitely changed.

“Suddenly, we experienced a lot of things that we don’t quite understand, it could have been a small mistake at work, but we would gain the attention of anti-fans or fans. He is more of an introvert, he doesn’t go out to entertain, stays at home more, leads simple life, and suddenly his life came under the spotlight, wherever he went there will be fans following, he was definitely anxious.”

The seniors in the industry would also give Xiao Zhan some advice, and share with him some of the survival rules in the entertainment world that he had not experienced. “For example we will having having a fun conversation, or someone would be telling some something he does not know about in the industry, the next day he will tell me that the conversation made him quite excited, he learned a lot, I feel like he is a sponge like person, continuously absorbing,” a senior in the industry revealed.

Xiao Zhan 

03

On 10 Aug, a day before the filming starts for “The Oath of Love”, performance teacher Yang Xu finally met Xiao Zhan again.

The script for “The Oath of Love” was given to Yang Xu quite early on, Xiao Zhan also wanted to quickly get into the preparation for this role, but because the promotion schedule for “The Untamed” was too tight, they did not manage to squeeze out some time to discuss about the script face-to-face.

“That day’s morning he just fixed his costume, we only met briefly at night,” Yang Xu recalled, but what put him at ease was that Xiao Zhan already made full analysis and preparation of the script, “At that time, I felt assured, his analytical skills of his roles were getting stronger, he was already able to analyze the script independently.”

Yang Xu, who was once a teacher in Central Drama School, participated in many dramas, such as “Nothing Gold Can Stay”, as their performance instructor. When he joined “The Oath of Love”, it was already his third time working with Xiao Zhan.

Stage photograph from “The Oath of Love”, Xiao Zhan as Gu Wei 

While filming “The Untamed”, Xiao Zhan told the visiting staff from Yuli Studio that he wished to improve his lines. After finishing “Jade Dynasty I”, Xiao Zhan proactively went to Yang Xu for a few classes.

The airing “The Untamed” in this summer made many viewers notice the actor Xiao Zhan.

In the “Bloodbath at Nevernight City” in episode 32, Wei Wuxian stood on top of a roof, facing off the accusations from all of the sects, crying and laughing, unable to explain himself. In this part, the Yiling Patriarch’s rage was at his max, and it was Xiao Zhan’s golden moment of his acting abilities, and many drama fans were surprised to find out that the filming of that scene was done in the same day as another scene – that day’s morning was the filming of youth Wei Wuxian in the library, and at night he immediately went into the condition of the Yiling Patriarch dying in Nevernight City.

We asked him how he could film such extreme conditions within the same day, Xiao Zhan confessed that he himself did not know, “I saw some gifs and clips, if I had to suddenly redo this scene, I don’t think I can outperform that me then, I guess that time it was the accumulation of time and condition, maybe that period of time I had already blended into the role.”

Stage photographs from “The Untamed”, Wei Wuxian at Nevernight City and the Library

Drama fans attributed this to Xiao Zhan’s “self-sacrificing styled acting” performance method, in the drama, Wei Wuxian depended on someone to use the “self-sacrificing curse” 16 years later to resurrect – this “self-sacrifice” meant that Xiao Zhan gave himself entirely to the role of Wei Wuxian.

To Yang Xu, Xiao Zhan’s instinctive acting method, where he became the role, actually came from this “sincerity”, and this was where the advantage of Xiao Zhan as an actor lied.

“Xiao Zhan is a very sincere person, I spoke to him then that sincerity is a very important quality in an actor. This sincerity meant that he could 100% give away himself, he was the same when he was taking classes with me. Because when we were practicing, he also needed to share some of his privacy or live experiences, he would share them very sincerely.”

Stage photograph from “The Untamed”, Xiao Zhan as Wei Wuxian

Yang Xu felt that the introvert and quiet Doctor Gu from “The Oath of Love” was more like Xiao Zhan in his everyday life. But Xiao Zhan felt nervous about this role having similarities with his own character, because he felt that he had not acted in any contemporary dramas. Before filming started, he constantly asked Yang Xu about the differences between contemporary dramas and period dramas, whether he was to portray life as more at will compared to period dramas.

Yang Xu told him, at its core they are acting out human emotions, therefore he must truly experience the life of this character, and then build a realistic communication with his partner.

“Yang Zi is a more quick-witted actress, her performances are very varied, if at this time Xiao Zhan wasn’t about to build enough communication with Yang Zi, or not focused enough, then the two of them might not be able to match up. But what’s good is that Xiao Zhan is very sincere, and he could receive Yang Zi’s performance, and then reply with his layered emotions. I was on set watching a few of their scenes, I personally feel that Xiao Zhan did very well.”

From “Jade Dynasty I” to “The Oath of Love”, Yang Xu saw the growth of Xiao Zhan within this half year. During the process of working with Yang Zi, Xiao Zhan became willing to try more variations, willing to breakthrough his fixed style of acting, and look for changes in every scene and every line.

“He is very concerned about how he crafts every single character, he has his own expectations of his performance and profession, he will never be satisfied with his results and what he has attained in performance. He will forever be seeking, and with this seeking, he will have motivation to learn and grow. And he is very talented, I always tell him, you definitely can become a good actor.”

“The Oath of Love” Character Poster

04

We reverse the time back to early 2017, Xiao Zhan has just joined the filming of “Battle Through the Heaven”, as the minor role Lin Xiuya.

Then, Xiao Zhan had just entered the entertainment industry for barely a year, and acted in a web drama that he jokingly called it his “dark history” later on.

During the performance classes before the filming of “Battle Through the Heaven”, Xiao Zhan stood out from all the newcomers, not only because of his outstanding looks, but also because he was well-mannered and polite, very hardworking during the filming, and left a great impression on the staff.

“Battle Through the Heaven” was filmed throughout the Chinese New Year period of 2017, the new actors did not go home, and one of the seniors in the crew was talking to them, telling them that as a singer in China, their career progression might be more limited, and they should go down the path of acting, but the path of acting is a path of no return, they could only move forward and not backwards, therefore you will need to put in everything for it.

Stage photograph from “Battle Through the Heaven” Season 1, Xiao Zhan as Lin Xiuya

Born in 1991, Xiao Zhan was the representative of “over-aged commoner pursuing an entertainment business dream”, he only started to learn dancing at the age of 24, debuting as a part of a boy group. That spring, the 26 year old took in what the senior said, and started to consider the possibility of changing his career path.

At that time, Xiao Zhan was not confident, he felt that he came from an idol group background, and he was not sure if he could become an actor. But one of the strengths of Xiao Zhan was that he would not consider whether he could or not, instead, he would “choose, I just want to do it well, do it first, we’ll see the results later”.

Just like him starting to learn dancing with no foundations, but he saw effects after a month; during the idol competition his mentor Shu Qi suggested that he train his gaze, and a few weeks later he started to shed off the commoner in his gaze; in the transformation to become an actor, the senior encouraged him to lose weight first, and come to the set of “The Wolf” 3 months later, he really lost 10lbs.

“The Wolf” was Xiao Zhan’s entry work, followed through the entire drama as a part of the lead actors, and gained an acting quality improvement from 0 points to 50 points. A member of the staff revealed that hotels with better conditions were further away from the set, and in order to leave more time to acting, Xiao Zhan took the initiative to pick a hotel that was near the set despite it having worse conditions.

Stage photograph from “The Wolf”, Xiao Zhan as Ji Chong 

During the filming period of “Battle Through the Heaven” and “The Wolf”, transforming from a singer to an actor facing cameras, that sensation once caused Xiao Zhan to lose the sense of himself, unsure how he could let the audiences believe that he was that role. During the filming of “The Untamed”, Xiao Zhan was still not confident enough, compared to the newcomers around him that came from acting schools, Xiao Zhan did not have any advantages.

“My thoughts and intentions had always been very simple, that is I want to do it well,” Xiao Zhan said, during the filming of “The Wolf”, he filmed in the day and took classes at night, writing his acting analysis in the late night, he also broke down once or twice, writing them while crying, but eventually he persisted.

The seed of stubbornness and refusal to admit defeat is deeply rooted in Xiao Zhan’s body, as a child he would go to Shaoniangong every weekend to learn drawing, and nothing would keep him from it, because that was something he wanted to do from his heart; when competing in the idol competition, facing many teammates who were from music academies, he thought to himself that “if you could do it, then I could do it too, and I’ll do it even better”; when filming, he believed that viewers would not be concerned whether he came from an acting background, but the most direct answer would be whether he acted well or not.

“The Untamed” finally brought the actor Xiao Zhan to everyone’s notice.

That summer, he became the entertainment business’s new top traffic power, his supertopic firmly in the top three, all kinds of gossip forums had posts about him, and “Jade Dynasty I” also showcased his appeal.

Stage photograph from “The Untamed”, Xiao Zhan as Wei Wuxian 

Why was he able to receive so much love this summer?

There were many within the entertainment circle that looked well upon Xiao Zhan, two of them could provide answers or a type of assessment:

“Xiao Zhan used his acting abilities to conquer me”; “I see the shadow of every worker on him, he carries the hopes and dreams of every man pursuing a dream.”

There was a microblog titled “Recording Xiao Zhan’s every man moments” that obtained 330 thousand likes, and within it, fans shared many little stories about him.

For example, after living for 28 years, Xiao Zhan’s most prideful moment was to have his logo sell well as a designer; the backgrounds of his group’s concerts and the web drama’s slides were all drawn by him; his mobile phone home screen was the God of Fortune, like every person who hoped for a sudden windfall.

One part was the recognition of his working capabilities; the other part, the Xiao Zhan, who became a designer after graduation and went through a year of working life before pursuing his “entertainment business dream”, was indeed very different from the idols that were cultivated from the idol machine, he came with common sense and life experiences, his past was definitely able to resonate with every man.

Xiao Zhan 

05

A fan once sent this microblog – Xiao Zhan’s temperament is so good, perhaps it’s because he had been honed by his clients. Xiao Zhan himself replied her with a meme: “What do you mean?”

The experience as a contractor, plus always facing people with a smile, everyone’s first impression of Xiao Zhan was that he was a gentle person with a good temperament.

Xiao Zhan always habitually considered others’ feelings first.

Staff Xiaofan revealed that the previous assistant was not capable enough, made a lot of mistakes, but Xiao Zhan never lost his temper at him.

Yang Xu accompanied Xiao Zhan every morning in the make up room for script reading, there was once Xiao Zhan had insomnia the night before and was in a bad shape, he took the initiative to apologize to the teacher, “That day I could feel that he was actually very tired, but he still tried his best to maintain his condition to discuss his role with me, later on he came to me and said, teacher I’m sorry, my condition was bad in the morning, you took still so much effort to explain the role to me, I feel quite bad, you can come slightly later, otherwise you’ll feel bad looking at my current state. I was very touched then, I said you just rest well and don’t worry about me.”

In the idol competition, someone once questioned Xiao Zhan’s character as passive and unenthusiastic. To Xiaofan, this is because “he is always humble and polite to people he doesn’t know well, and he’ll treat everyone with a sense of propriety.”

A reporter once asked Xiao Zhan if he was a Mr. Nice Guy. Xiao Zhan replied, “I feel that those who feel like this are probably acquaintances. People who know me very well will know that I’m actually quite stubborn and quite strong-headed.”

Xiao Zhan 

Xiao Zhan said, he did not like to make the atmosphere uncomfortable, he hoped that everyone could all be harmonious.

But in the “Secret Garden”, Xiao Zhan will unexpectedly shed off this shell of warm smiles and display the tenacious edge in his heart.

Xiao Zhan had a microblog that held the heartfelt words between he and his fans, and some words Xiao Zhan would quietly post in the comments, and those who care for him would always see it.

Last year after “The Untamed” started filming, there were those who believed that he would rise to fame very quickly, but there were also those who mocked him for “being famous on credit”, Xiao Zhan, who had a nickname “Brother Wealthy”, quietly posted a comment on the sentiments then, “I have money, I don’t go on credit.”

In his daily life, Xiao Zhan does not like to cry, he said he has given all of his tears to his characters. Once in a while, everyone can also see that soft Xiao Zhan coming out of his protective shell. Last year during the Hangzhou concert, he looked at the hall full of his fans’ support, singing the song, “Satisfaction”, that his fans fought for him, he tried to keep in his tears.

After bursting to fame, whether Xiao Zhan will continue to display his strong or soft moments, we would not know, but Xiaofan revealed that the staff do not control Xiao Zhan’s microblog postings, the “Secret Garden” continues to be his method of communicating with his fans.

But we can be certain that Xiao Zhan is slowly learning and adjusting to the rules of the entertainment business, becoming more careful, he will sometimes tell his staff, “We need to be more careful than before.”

Xiao Zhan’s Mid Autumn greetings 

06

The night after the premiere of “Jade Dynasty I”, Xiao Zhan secretly went to record a program at CCTV. That night at 8.30pm, word from the scalpers circle came out, “Xiao Zhan’s activity, those who can come to the area near the world trade center message me! Limited seats! Hurry!”

Later on, there were a lot of fans gathering at the north entrance of CCTV, and until late night at 11pm, there were still large groups of fans quietly waiting. Xiao Zhan and his staff would sometimes wonder, when would days like this ever end, but they also understood that this is an anomaly, things would slowly stabilize after a few months, and the future still depended on his works.

After completing the filming of “The Oath of Love”, Xiao Zhan will go through a period of rest and adjustment, and enter filming again at the start of next year.

“What worried him previously what that he didn’t know where his opportunities were, didn’t know which path he should take; now of course he’s firmly decided on being a good actor,” Xiaofan revealed.

Xiao Zhan at the premiere press conference of “Jade Dynasty I” 

His vlogs since his debut, until yesterday when he spoke to everyone online, Xiao Zhan always started with “I am still Xiao Zhan”.

After rising to fame, Xiao Zhan told himself that he needed to work harder in his life, and work hard to remind himself to stay common and still be that very initial Xiao Zhan.

However, no one would be able to foresee the possibilities of Xiao Zhan in his career, “No one restricted that I have to be this type of Xiao Zhan my whole life,” since he is someone who likes to stay on his feet, and very willing to try and change.

Entering this cruel entertainment business, Xiao Zhan still continues to be a honorable working class, lying on his sofa after knocking off; traffic comes and goes, he tells himself that he should not compare with anyone else, he should only compete against himself, and be a long distance runner.

Only passion and sincerity can withstand the long and slow passage of time.

Xiao Zhan looking at that year’s fireworks

[little-mad]

The First Hunt: Chapter Two

A/N By popular demand, here's a sequel to The First Hunt! The original was meant to be a oneshot, but since people seemed to like it, and since I had more to say about the story, I figured a part two was in order. This one is a lot longer and more detailed than the first part cuz I wanted it to be more of a short story than a drabble. Hopefully you guys enjoy!

The warm glow of orange evening sunlight filtered through the canopy of leaves overhead. Thomas picked his way through the untamed forest, still wondering what exactly he was doing. The First Hunt had ended a couple hours ago, and Thomas’s peers were all back in town, enjoying the festivities that came with celebrating their passage into adulthood.

Thomas didn’t know exactly what had caused him to slip out of town and make his way back to the spot where he had last seen the human girl. The town elders would probably say hunting instinct. Thomas would be lying if he said he hadn’t been...intrigued by the human’s scent. He may have even followed through and eaten the tiny thing like he was supposed to, that is, if she hadn’t been squirming desperately in his fingers and begging for her life. As good as the little human had smelled, he knew he could never bring himself to eat something he could hold a conversation with.

So if it wasn’t hunger driving Thomas, then what was it? Perhaps just simple curiosity. He mostly doubted the human would have stuck around in the same place for so long, especially after having nearly been eaten, but he found himself itching to know whether she might still be there for some reason. After all, what were the chances he’d ever meet another human again? It was just so rare for them to stray out of the safety of their lands these days. If there was a possibility she might still be there, didn’t he have to be sure?

When he caught sight of a small, shaggy shrub, Thomas knew he had managed to navigate back to the spot where he’d first discovered the human. He heard a scampering nearby and had a brief flash of hope before he saw the sound had been made by a little orange fox that was now retreating further into the woods. Thomas continued to make his way closer to the bush. He could swear he could still detect traces of her sweet scent...unless…

As he walked forward, the distinct scent only got stronger. Thomas walked past the shrub and towards a thick but gnarled tree. At first he noticed nothing, and wondered if perhaps his mind was playing tricks on him, but then as he glanced down at the base of the tree, he caught sight of a small crevice.

Thomas dropped down to his knees and bent to peer inside the little nook. His eyes went wide when he saw what was inside. Pressed back as far as she could manage in the tight space, was a human, the very same human he had encountered a few hours ago.

Her wavy dark brown hair that didn’t quite reach her shoulders was a frazzled mess, bits of bark catching at some of the strands. Barely perceptible beads of sweat were forming on her light brown skin, creating a slight shine to her face. Chestnut colored eyes stared back at Thomas with fear and panic.

---

Tara had made sure to wait a long while after the group of giants had left before even considering leaving her hiding place. She wasn’t willing to risk the chance that they would double back, plus she was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that she had just survived a hands on encounter with a giant.

After about fifteen minutes, Tara had finally deemed it safe enough to exit cover. She’d been just about to do so when she heard an unusual sound. The sound had unfortunately turned out to be that of a giant sized animal sniffing around. Could it have merely been a harmless squirrel? Sure. But given Tara’s luck, she had to assume it was some kind of predator that would gladly snatch up a human for a snack. And for that reason, she had remained concealed in her hidey hole, waiting for the creature to wander off someplace else.

Of course, the animal, whatever it was, had decided it was quite content to remain where it was. Tara had heard it finally give up on its sniffing after awhile and lay down on the opposite side of the tree. Hours passed, and in addition to a growing feeling of hunger in her belly, there was also a new ache developing in her body from being stuffed in such a cramped space for so long. She had just been considering making a mad dash for it and taking the chance that the animal was predatory, when she began to feel a sickeningly familiar rumbling shake the earth.

Tara’s blood went cold. Her window of escape had disappeared. The creature on the other side of the tree was now the least of her concerns. A much bigger predator was coming. If Tara’s last experience with a giant had been any indication, the giant would have no problem sniffing her out. It almost seemed like they had a nose made specifically for detecting humans.

The tremors in the ground increased in intensity as the giant came into view. Tara’s eyebrows shot up as she realized she recognized the massive being. It was the very same one who had captured her just hours earlier. Tara’s heart began to beat erratically in her chest. He had let her go...he’d told her he wouldn’t eat her. She swallowed hard. He must have changed his mind.

Tara could only watch as the young man advanced closer and closer towards her hiding spot. Then there was a rustling sound, from the animal that had been keeping her stuck. The giant’s gaze instantly snapped towards the source of the noise. Tara couldn’t see what he was looking at from where she was, but based on the disappointed look on the man’s face, she had to assume he hadn’t been impressed by whatever it was. This led Tara to a horrifying conclusion. The giant had reacted so quickly to the sound the animal had made, meaning he was looking for something, and Tara had a feeling she knew exactly what that something was.

The giant sniffed the air, an intrigued look forming on his face as he did. Tara had to bite her lip to prevent herself from releasing a whimper. He had caught her scent, it was only a matter of time before he tracked her down.

Sure enough, a few moments later, the towering being was directly in front of Tara’s now useless hiding place. His forest green eyes stared at her in surprise. Apparently he hadn’t been expecting to find her. Which was sensible. Tara should have been long gone by now. She had to mentally scoff at herself. She’d been given a miraculous second chance at life and she had somehow managed to screw it up and end up right back in the jaws of death.

It wasn’t long before the look of surprise on the giant’s face shifted into an excited smile that caused a tight feeling to form in Tara’s chest. She tried desperately to shove herself further back into the small crevice in the tree trunk, as if she’d end up magically getting absorbed into the bark.

Then, suddenly something huge came shooting towards her. Tara yelped as, for the second time that day, devastatingly massive fingers wrapped around her body. Her stomach churned as she was effortlessly pulled out of the nook and up into open air. The movement didn’t stop until she was being held directly in front of the giant’s still smiling face.

Tara wanted to yell, curse, and struggle, but she found herself momentarily frozen in place. She could see her own reflection in the shine of the giant eyes. God, did she look pathetic. The upper half of her body stuck out from the giant's fist, her arms hanging limply over the sides of his fingers. She could only imagine how pitiful she would appear to the immense creature.

After eying her for a couple agonizing moments, the giant made a sound of happy disbelief in the back of his throat before shifting his entire massive form. When the moving was finished, the young man was sitting with his back pressed against the tree and his knees bent. He held Tara slightly below eye level and a few inches away from his face.

“God, I still can’t get over how crazy small you are.” The giant spoke for the first time after finding Tara once again. His expression was filled with awe, not unlike a child that had just been presented a fascinating toy. Tara cringed at the sight of it.

“L-let me go!” She finally managed to spit out. She was still lacking the ferocity she’d possessed when she’d snapped at the giant during their last encounter, but she was hoping she would be able to build back up to it.

---

Thomas couldn’t believe his luck. He’d managed to get a hold of a human not once, but twice in the same day! He only wished he could brag about it to his friends. Of course, then he’d be forced to lie about not eating her. He supposed he could tell them the truth, but he had a feeling they wouldn’t be very receptive.

As he stared at her, wrapped up in his fist, he came to a new realization. Now that he had made himself stop viewing the human as food, he had to say, the little creature was honestly kind of adorable. She looked totally frazzled, but that almost added to the cuteness factor.

The feeling of tiny fingers lightly brushing against his skin sent shivers throughout Thomas’s body. It was insane, a creature that looked so similar to giants but was so damn tiny. “God, I still can’t get over how crazy small you are.” He remarked breathlessly, a grin on his face.

The little human, unfortunately, did not seem to share in his enthusiasm. “L-let me go!” She stuttered. A frown instantly took form on Thomas’s face. He supposed he should have expected this. He had almost eaten her the last time he held her. But he had told her he wasn’t going to do it and he’d released her afterwards. Shouldn’t she know he wasn’t going to hurt her?

“Wait...just wait, this could be a once in a lifetime chance for us to talk.” Thomas insisted. He knew so little about human culture, current human culture in particular. It was hard to learn about the species when his people ate them up if they ever ran into one. There were a few old textbooks back home, but the information was likely horribly outdated by now, not to mention potentially inaccurate considering they had been written by giants and not humans themselves. Thomas was itching to know what life was really like for the tiny creatures.

“I don’t want to talk, I want to go home.” The minuscule girl retorted, fidgeting uncomfortably in between his fingers. Taking note of this, Thomas repositioned the human so that, rather than being held in his fist, she stood in the center of his palm. His fingers were curled up behind her, creating a sort of barrier.

The feeling of the human’s tiny feet moving around on his hand was unbelievable! Thomas had known humans existed his entire life, but now that he was actually holding one, he found it mind boggling that such a petite species could even survive in the world. He knew things were more proportional for the humans on their side of the border, but still, that didn’t change the fact that they were so low on the food chain compared to so many other creatures. Even the prey animals in giant territory outclassed humans.

“Are you...not a little curious about giants?” Thomas questioned the girl, using his free hand to rub at the side of his neck.

The human gave an immediate scoff, complete with an eye roll. “What’s there to be curious about? You treat us like food, that’s all I need to know.” It seemed the spunk she’d possessed during their last meeting had returned. It was kind of impressive how someone in such a vulnerable position could respond with such moxie.

“H-hey, I didn’t eat you, did I?” Thomas shot back defensively. However, as his mind wandered back to the moment he’d held her dangling above his mouth, he couldn’t help but recall the tempting scent that had wafted off of the human. “Although...you--well you do smell pretty good…” The words leaked out almost involuntarily as he was lost in the memory.

Thomas was pulled out of his reverie by a furious gasp and the feeling of tentative steps retreating backwards on his palm. When his gaze refocused he could see the human wearing an expression of disgust mixed with fear, her little arms wrapped around her middle defensively. “Not that I’m going to eat you!” Thomas blurted out, realizing how thoughtless his words had been. “I can’t imagine eating something I can hold a conversation with.”

---

The moment the giant had mentioned how good she apparently smelled, Tara was struck with a renewed sense of fear. She hated it, being viewed as some sort of tasty meal. She couldn’t comprehend the concept. Humans ate the meat of animals, sure, but they couldn’t sniff out a cow, nor did they consider it to smell good prior to being cooked. Giants were different, more barbaric, more animalistic. And yet, they seemed as intelligent as humans. It didn’t make sense.

“Not that I’m going to eat you!” The giant insisted. She stared back at him with suspicion in her eyes. Had he really come all this way to just talk to her? “I can’t imagine eating something I can hold a conversation with.” He added. It almost gave Tara whiplash, the way the giant could go from commenting on how delicious she smelled, to noticeably cringing at the idea of eating a being with which he could verbally communicate with.

“I’m not a something, I’m a someone.” Tara corrected, folding her arms firmly over her chest.

“Right, sorry.” The giant replied sheepishly. Tara could swear she could actually see his face reddening slightly. “I guess I’m not used to this whole talking to a human thing.”

Tara gave a snort. “Understatement.” If she had to write a rulebook for giants on what not to say to humans, rule number one would be: ‘don’t talk about how delicious they may smell!’ But, if she was being honest with herself, this guy was a far cry better than what she had expected. She supposed she should count her lucky stars that she had been found by what was likely the only giant that showed any qualms about eating humans. Considering the fact that the First Hunt indeed was real, Tara could only assume the rest of the giants were totally on board with gobbling humans up.

“Ok, I deserve that.” The young giant admitted, a slight grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. He was quiet for a moment as he looked over Tara, his lips pressed together thoughtfully. And then, “I didn’t expect humans to have such sharp tongues.”

It was true that Tara’s courage, and accompanying attitude, had come back full force after her initial terror at re-encountering the giant had ebbed slightly. Of course, the fear was still present, her instincts would never allow that to go away entirely. However, she was able to keep it as background noise. That being said, she didn’t very much like the giant’s insinuation. It almost seemed as though he had expected humans to be these tiny quivering wrecks.

“I doubt you giants know much of anything about what humans are like.” Tara snipped. She had a feeling most giants didn’t bother to ask for a human’s life story before devouring them.

“Well then why not educate me?” Came the giant’s quick response. God, he seemed eager. His eyes were almost sparkling with enthusiasm. Tara couldn’t understand why he was so interested in humans. It was his own damn species’ fault that the two peoples couldn’t get along.

“What if you could bridge the gap?” A small part of her mind argued. Tara was quick to shake that thought away. There was no way having a heart to heart with one single giant was going to stop all of giantkind from being obsessed with eating humans. Besides, she needed to convince this guy to let her go. The longer she was around a giant, the higher the chances of her getting hurt became.

“Because--because every second I’m around you, my life is in danger!” Tara exclaimed. She forced herself to walk towards the front of the giant’s hand, ignoring how utterly bizarre it felt to be standing on someone’s actual palm.

A frown appeared on the young man’s face. “Come on, I already said I wasn’t going to hurt you.” He said it almost in a whine. Tara was beginning to wonder if this guy was really like a gigantic puppy. Of course, even a puppy was dangerous if it was bigger than a house.

“And I’m just supposed to take your word for it?” Tara asked with a quirked brow. “Besides, you could hurt me without evening meaning to.” What may seem like a small, inconsequential movement for the giant could be potentially catastrophic for someone Tara’s size. Too much pressure from his fingers, a misstep, a sudden jolt; they could all spell disaster for her. The giant clearly didn’t understand that. For him, there was no danger in a simple conversation. Of course there wasn’t, not for him, the one with all the control.

The man remained silent for a moment, apparently digesting Tara’s words. It was a positive sign that he was actually taking her words into consideration. “I’ll...I’ll be careful, I promise.” He vowed, earning a frustrated groan from Tara.

Ever since she was little, Tara had been a headstrong child. Her mother had even taken to referring to her as a ‘stubborn little mule’ whenever she was especially pig headed about something. But now, it seemed the mule had met her match. This giant was relentless in his pursuit to satisfy his own curiosity.

A soft breath from the giant’s mouth ruffled Tara’s hair as it blew past her. He wore a difficult to read expression on his face. It almost seemed like he was conflicted. He kept his silence for a few moments, looking off into the distance and for once freeing Tara from his persistent staring. Before she could properly relish in the feeling of not being the center of a massive being’s attention, his deep green eyes were locked back on her. “Would you at least tell me your name? Mine is Thomas.”

Tara’s eyebrows lifted slightly. She hadn’t even considered that this giant had a name. Giants had always seemed like abstract otherworldly concepts to her. Therefore, the fact that this one had a name, not to mention a seemingly mundane name like Thomas, was a little bit unexpected. “Uh, I’m Tara…” She replied, feeling rather strange doing introductions with a giant.

A bright grin broke out on Thomas’s face. He was way too excited about this. “Pleasure to meet you, Tara.”

---

Thomas found himself unable to keep his hands to himself after he and the human named Tara exchanged introductions. Her awkward body language somehow made her look even cuter! With the tip of a single finger he reached out and ruffled Tara’s already unruly head of hair. He marveled at how soft the locks felt despite how untamed they currently appeared.

The indignant squeak the little human made in response to Thomas’s touch was way too endearing for him to bear, and he was about to go back in to tap Tara lightly on the head when a sudden look of sharp fear came across her face. “Someone’s coming.” She hissed urgently, brown eyes blown wide as she stared up at Thomas.

His eyebrows furrowed and he remained silent while he tried to hear what the human had apparently picked up on. At first he heard nothing. He was just beginning to think Tara had been yanking his chain when he finally caught the sound of approaching footsteps.

Panic was quick to take a grip on Thomas as he shot up to his feet. While he had vowed not to eat Tara, he doubted whoever was coming would share the same sentiment. If another giant knew of her existence, she would be placed in extreme danger. Not to mention the fact that Thomas would have to try to explain why he, a giant, had been holding a casual conversation with a human rather than consuming them.

The footsteps were quickly growing nearer, the new giant would soon be within eyesight. Thomas looked down at Tara to see a look of terror frozen on her face. She looked up at him with desperation in her eyes, as if begging him to do something. He swallowed thickly and gave the human a small nod.

Then, using the hand Tara wasn’t currently standing on, Thomas once again grabbed the human. Swiftly he moved the hand holding Tara around to his back and shifted so he stood as close to the tree trunk as possible without squishing the delicate human he had in his grasp. It was a pretty poor hiding place, that much he knew, but without any kind of pocket or bag to drop her into, Thomas’s options had been severely limited. Although, Thomas wondered if there was even a point in attempting to hide her, any giant with a functioning nose would be able to smell her from several yards away.

A moment later the oncoming giant finally came into view. Thomas’s eyes widened as he realized who it was. The young man’s skin was slightly more tanned than Thomas’s, and his complexion paired well with his medium blond hair. He had angular facial features and a set of icy blue eyes behind a pair of round glasses. He was only a couple months older than Thomas, something he knew because the approaching giant was none other than his best friend.

“Ah ha, I thought I might find you out here.” Lane called, a grin on his lips as he made his way closer to Thomas. “Hoping you’d get a second chance at catching a human, huh?”

Lane and Thomas had been friends ever since they were little kids. It had been their interest in learning that had ultimately solidified their friendship. Thomas was constantly itching for novel, unheard of information. He wanted to discover new and exciting things before anyone else. Lane, on the other hand, was more interested in culture and tradition. He was fascinated by giant history and wanted to analyze it to no end. Within the past few years, Lane had become especially interested in studying giantkind’s history with eating humans.

It was for this reason that Thomas considered Lane to be just about the worst person to come around while he was currently trying to conceal a human. The guy was obsessed with the idea of getting to eat a human. He considered it to be a tradition that connected giants with their ancestors. After the First Hunt had ended, Thomas had been subjected to extensive complaining about the fact that no humans had been found.

Abruptly halting his progress towards Thomas, a perplexed look formed on Lane’s face. He lifted his nose into the air and gave several small sniffs. “Do you smell that?” He asked, continuing to sniff at the air.

Perhaps a bit too quickly, Thomas shook his head. “N-no, I don’t smell anything.” He claimed.

Lane shot Thomas an unconvinced look. “Oh come on, it smells amazing! I haven’t ever smelled anything like it.” He proceeded making his way over to his friend, but didn’t stop sniffing all the way there.

Thomas could feel Tara squirming uncomfortably in his hand. He didn’t know whether it was because of the way he was holding or because of Lane. To be on the safe side, he loosened his grip on her ever so slightly.

“Hey, what do you have there?” Lane questioned, finally taking his focus off of the smell to eye Thomas’s unnaturally positioned arm.

“Is it really that obvious??” Thomas thought to himself miserably. “Nothing.” He told Lane, trying to school his expression into one of casual indifference. “This is just how I’m standing.” Thomas felt a tiny smack on his knuckle. If he had to guess, Tara wasn’t very impressed with his attempt at lying.

Lane quirked an eyebrow. “Alright, then show me your hand.” He prompted.

“I don’t see why--” Before Thomas could even finish his sentence, Lane had grabbed hold of his upper arm and yanked until the hand holding Tara popped out of cover.

For a moment, Lane just stared with eyes as wide as saucers. Then, after he seemed to process what he was looking at, a sly grin slowly spread across his face. Thomas didn’t like that look one bit, especially not when it was aimed at Tara. “You actually caught one!” The blond exclaimed.

Thomas released a low sigh as he moved his arm so that Tara was once again held in front of his body. Rather than return her to her previous position of standing freely on his palm, Thomas kept her gripped in a fist. With Lane now present, it just felt safer.

Although a couple inches shorter than Thomas, Lane still had to bend to get himself at level to where Tara was being held at chest height. He moved his face in close to the human, wearing an expression of exhilarated amazement. “The stories are right, they really are bite sized.” He commented. Thomas could see Tara cringe back at the words. The poor girl’s heartbeat was going crazy, he could feel it pounding against his fingers.

Both Thomas and Tara appeared relieved when Lane straightened and backed up slightly. “Hey, why were you hiding it?” Lane’s gaze flicked from Tara up to Thomas’s face. “What, were you afraid I was going to try and steal your catch?”

“No, I just--”

“It may have ended, but it’s still technically the day of the First Hunt.” Lane stated, apparently too excited about the fact that one of them had found a human to care too much about Thomas’s potential distrust in him.

“Lane, that--”

“You should eat it right here and now, as tradition dictates.” This time, Lane’s interruption sent a wave of alarm throughout Thomas’s body. This was all so overwhelming. He’d just wanted to have a civil discussion with Tara, and now Lane was here trying to get him to eat her!

“What?! No, I’m not doing that!” Thomas cried, loathing the images that were forcibly appearing in his mind of himself dropping Tara into his mouth. What he hated more, was that there was a part of him that actually almost wanted to do so.

Thomas had always found the way giants felt so compelled to devour humans to be strange. It wasn’t necessarily the fact that giants enjoyed eating the tiny creatures, but that they enjoyed eating them whole and raw. With every other kind of meat, giants cooked and seasoned it prior to indulging. It was the civilized thing to do. But with humans it was different. Eating them alive was basically the only way that was considered proper. It was a barbaric practice. Thomas just didn’t understand what it was about humans that turned otherwise civilized giants into hunger driven savages. He didn’t want to be like that, no matter how much his instincts may be urging him to.

“But if you wait till we get home, you can bet someone will try to take it from you.” Lane insisted, clearly misinterpreting Thomas’s opposition to immediately eating the human.

“Lane--” Thomas started, though he didn’t really know where he was going.

“I think Daren wants to eat a human just as much as me, but he’s not your friend so he won’t hesitate to steal your catch.” Lane commented casually. Yesterday this kind of conversation wouldn’t have bothered Thomas in the slightest. Discussing eating humans was fairly commonplace among giants, and he’d never been upset when Lane had brought up the topic in the past. But now, after meeting Tara, Thomas found himself disgusted with how easily his friend spoke about ending another living being’s life.

“I am not eating her, period!” The exclamation had come out louder and stronger than Thomas had perhaps intended, but the way he had felt Tara practically shaking in his hand had elicited an unexpected response.

A look of confusion instantly took shape on Lane’s face, staring at Thomas like he had three heads. “What are you talking about?”

Thomas took in a deep breath. He really hadn’t wanted to have this conversation with any of his friends, least of all Lane. The guy was so lost in giant tradition that he couldn’t seem to consider the possibility that maybe their ancestors hadn’t been such great and admirable people afterall. Thomas didn’t even know how to begin explaining to Lane how he felt, but he had no choice but to figure it out as he spoke. “Lane, humans...eating humans isn’t--it isn’t something I can do.” He started lamely.

Lane narrowed his eyes. “And why the hell not?”

“Because I can’t bring myself to eat something as sentient as you or I.” Thomas responded simply. He could feel Tara’s little eyes on him, but he forced himself to maintain eye contact with the other giant.

“Oh please, you sound like those human sympathizer nut jobs.” Lane scoffed.

Thomas remained silent, unsure of how to respond. He had been raised to view the small number of human sympathizing giants as loons. These days, there were only two left in their small town, and they were both treated as total outcasts. Thomas realized he suddenly had more in common with them than the rest of the townspeople. Now that Lane knew how he felt, would it only be a matter of time before he too was socially shunned?

A noise of incredulity came from Lane as he shook his head in disbelief. “Thomas, we are predators and they are our prey. Eating humans is in our DNA.” He was spouting the same rhetoric as the town elders, and pretty much every adult in town to be honest. Thomas could recall a time when he was eleven, after studying human-giant relations in school for the first time, he’d come home and asked his father why giants loved eating humans so much. His father’s response had been that giants were naturally made to want to hunt humans, that it was an intrinsic part of giant nature. At the time, Thomas had accepted it as fact and moved on. But now, he was beginning to question everything he’d been taught.

“We’re not mindless animals, we don’t have to succumb to base urges.” He argued, almost pleadingly. He wanted his friend to understand, wanted him to see things the way he had started to.

Lane responded with an exaggerated eye roll, clearly not convinced by Thomas’s words. “Ok, you know what? If you’re not going to eat it, I will.”

Realizing what Lane was doing just in time, Thomas dodged to the side just as the shorter man made a lunge for Tara. Thomas’s fingers automatically tightened around the human girl’s body, evoking a sharp gasp from her. He felt bad for causing such a reaction, but he knew it was better for her to be uncomfortable in his hands than ending up in Lane’s at all. Thomas brought the hand holding Tara in close to his body, practically squishing her against his chest. “You need to back off.” He warned Lane as he himself slowly stepped further away.

---

Tara was quite sure that this day would forever rank number one on her list of worst days of all time, that is, if she even lived to see another day. Not only had she been captured and nearly eaten by a giant and later recaptured by said giant, but now there was a whole other giant involved, and one who seemed a lot more interested in eating a human than Thomas had.

This new giant, apparently named Lane, was somehow even more terrifying than Thomas, despite the fact that he looked to be slightly shorter in height. Thomas had never really looked at Tara with outright hunger in his eyes, at least not that she had detected. The same could not be said for Lane. Every time his eyes landed on her, she felt as though she were a piece of meat hanging in the window of a butcher’s shop. She absolutely hated it.

If Lane having just tried to grab her hadn’t been bad enough, Tara was currently in the highly unpleasant position of being tightly clutched in Thomas’s hand. While the grip around her body wasn’t painful, it was certainly far from comfortable. Not to mention the fact that she was being pressed into the giant’s chest, her face barely an inch away from the soft material of the sweater he wore. In order to even see anything except the expanse that was Thomas’s torso, she had to crane her neck around to look over her shoulder.

“If you don’t want to eat humans, then fine, but that doesn’t mean I can’t do it.” Lane growled.

Tara was very quickly getting fed up with all this talk of eating her, and what was more, she was fed up with just sitting idly by while two giants bickered about her fate. Using her arms to leverage herself, Tara managed to twist herself around within Thomas’s fist. Now facing out towards Lane, she leveled a wrathful glare at the giant. “No one is fucking eating me!”

Terror quickly began to eat away at Tara’s fierce facade when Lane’s cold blue eyes zeroed in on her. For a moment, he looked slightly surprised to hear her speak. She supposed it was likely the first time he’d ever heard a human’s voice before. However, the surprise quickly wore off and was replaced with a look of haughty disdain. “Listen here, morsel.” The blond giant sneered, the words causing Tara to physically flinch. “You broke the treaty by coming onto our land.”

“I didn’t mean--”

“The reason doesn’t matter. So long as you’re in our territory, you’re fair game.” Lane stated simply.

Technically, legally, Lane was right. For all intents and purposes, Tara had broken the treaty and was subject to whatever laws governed giants. But she didn’t care, she didn’t care what the laws were or what the treaty said. “Crossing a border doesn’t make me deserving of being killed.” Tara spat back with a scowl. “You giants are so twisted in the head if you think that’s right.”

Tara could feel Thomas’s fingers twitch around her. She wondered what kind of expression he was wearing at the moment, but she didn’t want to disqualify herself from the glaring contest that was currently taking place between her and Lane. “It’s the way nature works.” He said with an unconcerned shrug. “The predator hunts the prey. Don’t be upset because you got stuck as the prey.”

“Lane, knock it off!” Tara’s heart skipped a beat at Thomas’s sudden roar. His voice vibrated throughout her body and caused a slight ache in her ears. Still, the outburst couldn’t distract her from dwelling on Lane’s words. Was that really how giants saw it? They thought it was natural for them to devour humans, and so never stopped to ponder the moral implications?

“What is wrong with you?” Lane demanded, removing his gaze from Tara to shoot an incredulous look up at Thomas. “You can’t tell me you’re not dying to get a taste, the smell alone--”

“I already told you, I’m not eating her, and neither are you.” Thomas interrupted sharply. Tara was glad he’d stopped Lane when he had, the words the giant had been saying had already begun to make her feel sick to her stomach. Hearing how apparently delicious she smelled was horrific, and even worse was the hungry look of longing that had been on his face.

Lost in her own dark thoughts, Tara didn’t even notice the giant hand coming at her until it was too late. A scream got caught in her throat as her shoulders were shoved into the crease between the assaulting hand’s thumb and index finger. There was a burst of pain as she was forcibly wrenched out of Thomas’s hand. Then there came a disorienting blur as Tara felt her body being carried through the air at nauseating speeds.

When she finally managed to somewhat gather her senses, she found she was horizontal to the ground, her legs dangling while her upper half was forcibly held straight by massive fingers. It was then that she lifted her gaze from the distant earth. The sight in front of her caused a horrified shriek to tear through her throat.

There Tara was, being held directly in front of a wide open giant mouth, and she was rapidly being moved towards it.

---

Lane’s grab for Tara had been so sudden that Thomas hadn’t had the chance to evade it. Before he knew it, Lane had snatched the human right out of his hand, and it seemed his friend wasn’t about to waste any time in eating her.

Thomas could feel his pulse pounding in his neck as he watched almost as if in slow motion as Lane lifted the defenseless Tara to his gaping mouth. “No, this isn’t happening, I won’t let it!” Thomas’s thoughts screamed at him. Just as Tara’s head was about to enter the abyss that was Lane’s mouth, Thomas dove forward and managed to snag hold of the other giant’s forearm. A loud smack echoed through the woods from the impact of his palm on Lane’s bare arm.

Now forcibly holding Lane’s arm back from continuing its mission to deposit Tara into his mouth, Thomas threw a dark glare at his friend. “Give her to me now.” He demanded.

Lane looked back with a disbelieving look in his eyes. “Thomas, you need help. You’ve completely lost touch with your own instincts.” Here Lane was, about to end someone’s life without a second thought, and he had the gall to tell Thomas he needed help. It truly was twisted how giant society viewed things. Yet, was Thomas really one to talk? He’d played along with it all just yesterday. It had taken meeting a human, holding her in his hand, for Thomas to begin to truly question the ideas that had been drilled into his head for so long.

“My instincts don’t define me, I’m not a slave to primal urges.” The words were stated calmly and simply. Lane considered himself a scholar, and so Thomas would try to persuade him as such.

“Are you fucking serious?!” Lane exclaimed. Thomas could see his words were failing to give Lane pause, and instead were just offending the guy and pissing him off more. He was beginning to wonder if this was going to develop into a fight. Thomas may be tall and fairly fit, but he had no experience with physical altercations. But, neither did Lane. If both of them were equally inexperienced, Thomas hoped his greater size would put him at an advantage if it came down to it.

It was then that Thomas glanced down at Tara. Her body was being held in a precarious grip with four of Lane’s fingers on her back while the thumb was the only thing between her and the distant ground. This perhaps explained why she wasn’t struggling at all, she knew if she broke free, she’d be plummeting to what would likely be her own death.

Horrible waves of guilt rose up within Thomas. Tara was in this position because of him. She had wanted to leave the second he had found her, but he hadn’t let her. Now she was trapped in a life threatening scenario, and if a fight did break out between the two giants, the frail human could easily be damaged in the crossfire. Thomas would have to avoid that if at all possible.

“Lane, if you’re my friend, please just let her go.” He urged, allowing some vulnerability into his voice. Despite how it likely appeared to Tara, Thomas’s friend wasn’t heartless. The guy had been there for him at times when no one else had. He had to believe Lane was a good person at his core, that he had just been brainwashed to view humans as objects rather than people. Surely he could be reasoned with.

Lane opened his mouth as if to immediately refuse, but halted when he locked eyes with Thomas. After several moments of silence, he could see the resistance draining from his friend. With his free hand, Thomas positioned his palm just below Tara. Lane hesitated for a second before pulling his thumb out from under the human’s body, causing her to immediately drop down into the waiting hand.

As soon as Tara was safely back in his hands, Thomas brought her back against his chest. He was practically cradling the human, and chances were, Tara wasn’t exactly happy about it. However, he wasn’t about to stop, not when she’d be so nearly killed. And though he doubted Lane would make another grab for the human, Thomas didn’t plan on putting his guard down.

“This could be our only chance to eat a human, you know?” Lane said quietly. He stood back, arms folded over his chest. There was a somber look on his face.

Thomas gave his friend a sad smile. “I think we’re better off never doing it.”

Lane shook his head. “I can’t believe that.”

A glance down at Tara’s tiny form cupped in his hand was all the assurance Thomas needed to know that he was doing the right thing. Lane may not be able to see it yet, but maybe he could someday. He had put his friendship with Thomas over his desire to eat a human. That itself was a positive sign.

“I’m going to take her back to the border, we can talk after I get back to town.” Thomas stated, and with that he turned and left, Lane thankfully not attempting to pursue.

---

Tara was seated in the center of Thomas’s left palm, the giant’s other hand cupped in front of her to create a kind of barrier. As they had increased their distance from Lane, Thomas had transitioned from practically caging her in between his two hands, to at least now allowing her a little bit of breathing room.

So far, the journey to the border had been completely silent. Tara had no idea what to even say after everything that had happened, and Thomas apparently didn’t either. The silence hanging between them was beginning to become uncomfortable, and Tara was about to relent and just blurt out the first thing that came to mind, when Thomas finally spoke up. “Tara, I’m sorry.” The statement was simple, and yet caused her eyebrows to shoot up.

Turning around to face the giant, Tara tilted her head back to look at Thomas, only to be met with the underside of his jaw. He kept his eyes forward, but she could still make out a regretful frown on his face. His words had been genuine.

“My actions put you in danger.” The giant affirmed.

Tara gave a snort. “Yeah, they sure did.” She could see Thomas’s frown deepen as he gave a slight nod of understanding. “But,” Tara continued, “you did stand up to your friend for me, so I guess I can’t hate you completely.”

She was sure that if she ever recounted this story to any other humans, they’d never understand how she could not despise the giant that had caused her so many problems. And of course, Tara wasn’t about to join the Thomas fan club anytime soon. Yet, she couldn’t ignore the courage and kindness he had displayed when he protected her from Lane. Yesterday, she never would’ve imagined in a million years that a giant would not only refrain from eating her, but also willingly oppose their own friend for her sake.

These recent events were going to force Tara to reevaluate her views on giants. Thomas certainly seemed like an outlier, but surely he couldn’t be the only one. Lane had mentioned something about “human sympathizer nut jobs”, which seemed to suggest there were other giants who defied the norms. Perhaps giants were more human than she had thought?

The frown had faded slightly from Thomas’s face, though he still wore a serious expression. “Listen, I know that was a pretty bad first impression, but Lane really isn’t an evil person.” He insisted.

Tara held back a dry laugh. Lane was probably on the top of her list of least favorite people. Almost eating her proved worse than the former top spot holder’s offense of calling Tara a “vulgar swine.” Despite her clear dislike for the guy, she didn’t want to denigrate him directly to Thomas’s face. He clearly saw something redeemable in his friend, and while Tara couldn’t see it, she really did hope he was right. She knew that if it were her best friend, she would be giving him the benefit of the doubt.

“I’ll have to take your word for it,” was all she said.

A few moments later, Tara began to notice the trees beginning to loom over her less and less. Soon, Thomas was wading through trees that reached his stomach. The sight of normal sized trees was like a breath of fresh air. She was eager to stop feeling so miniscule.

“This is the closest I’ve ever been to the border.” Thomas muttered.

From the tales she’d heard from her town’s scouts, there were times when giants would stand at the very edge of the border. These giants would apparently stare into human territory, and if they caught sight of one of the scouts, they would attempt to lure them over the border. Tara was glad to hear Thomas had never been among them.

A chuckle escaped her at the nervous look on the giant’s face. “Don’t worry, you’re not about to start getting shot with arrows.” She assured him. So long as Thomas never stepped a toe over the border, no human could cause him any harm.

Thomas’s gaze flicked down to Tara, a slightly abashed smile on his face. She smirked. It was almost endearing, the way something so massive could manage to appear so awkward and innocent.

It wasn’t long after that that the pair finally reached the border which separated giant and human territory. The boundary was distinctly marked by an extensive creek. It was shallow enough to easily wade through if need be, but thankfully they had arrived at a section with a few well placed stones that could be used to hop across.

“So that’s human territory, huh?” Thomas remarked, staring out at the land across the creek.

Tara gave a shrug, it wasn’t anything special, especially not this part, which was just a stretch of woods. Really, it wasn’t much different from the giants’ forest. Size was really the only major disparity.

“Hey,” Tara could feel the giant’s eyes back on her, “you never said why you were past the border in the first place.”

A rush of heat instantly began to warm her cheeks. The tale of how she’d wound up lost in giant territory wasn’t exactly a flattering one. However, she had a feeling Thomas wouldn’t stand for no response. “Primrose only grows on the other side of the border.” She started. “I only planned on going a little ways, but then a giant wolf came after me and chased me further in.”

Rather than the amused expression she had been expecting, Thomas was looking down at her with wide eyes. “That sounds terrifying.” He breathed. “Wolves are scary enough at normal size.”

Tara chuckled. “Not as terrifying as a giant person.” She meant the words sincerely, but she said them in a joking tone.

Thomas gave a sideways nod. “Fair enough.” He said, a small smile on his lips. There was a brief pause, and then, “I supposed I should put you down now, huh?” His disappointment at this prospect was evident. For whatever reason, the guy really seemed to like holding Tara. She, on the other hand, would be lying if she said she wasn’t eager to get out of giant hands.

Tara gave Thomas a shrug that said ‘well yeah, duh.’ The giant’s response was an over dramatic sigh before he moved his hands back a few inches from his chest. He then abruptly dropped into a crouch at a jarring speed. Tara involuntarily took a hold of Thomas’s nearby thumb to prevent herself from toppling over. A perfect example of why she was more than ready to be back on solid ground.

When Thomas looked down to see Tara clutching his thumb, his face morphed into the embodiment of the word ‘awww.’ She scowled back up at him and was quick to release her hold on the huge appendage. Her mother still sometimes called her cute despite her being fully grown, something Tara greatly disliked, so she certainly wasn’t going to take it from this giant. Seeing Tara’s grumpy face, Thomas was quick to try and wipe the expression off his face, although the soft smile remained.

“Move a little more slowly, would you?” She griped, crossing her arms over her chest.

A low chuckle came from the giant, but he nodded in understanding anyways. “Sure thing.” He then began to carefully lower the hand holding Tara down to the grass below. When the back of his hand was flush with the ground, Tara got to her feet and quickly hopped off of the warm palm. She took in a deep breath and blew it out, relieved to be mobile of her own accord once again.

With a grin on her face, Tara turned around to face Thomas. “Sheesh, I forgot how much bigger he looks when I’m down here.” She thought to herself as she stared up at the giant’s enormous figure. Even when he was crouched down, he still absolutely towered over her.

“Hey.” Thomas started, preventing Tara from dwelling on her growing size related anxiety. “I--I was wondering if maybe you might want to see each other again sometime…I could even bring you some primrose.”

The immediate answer that sprung to Tara’s mind was a resounding “no.” But, before she voiced it aloud, she stopped herself. The day’s events had proven one thing very clearly to her: giants were incredibly dangerous. Though she’d managed to escape with her life, she hadn’t come out unscathed. Tara’s shoulders still ached from where Lane had grabbed her earlier. However, she couldn’t pretend Thomas’s unexpected behavior hadn’t intrigued her a little. Plus his offer of bringing primrose was tempting. And, she had just thought of a way the two could talk safely, without any risk on Tara’s end.

While on very rare occasions humans would cross over the border as Tara had done, giants never did the same. For whatever reason, even the most vile giants seemed to obey the treaty to a T. For that reason, Tara figured it was safe to assume that Thomas would do the same. Therefore, if each party remained on their respective side of the border, in theory they could still converse with one another. It was something Tara would need to spend some time considering.

“I’ll think about it.” She told Thomas. “Come back in a week and check under that rock,” she pointed to a large stone behind the giant, “I’ll leave a note there with my answer.”

Thomas beamed down at her, clearly pleased he hadn’t been outright shut down by the human. It was amazing really, he was giving her the power to decide whether or not their relationship continued. It was something someone as big and powerful as him didn’t need to do, but in doing so, he showed that he had at least some respect for Tara’s autonomy. Definitely a good sign.

Tara made her way over to the edge of the creek closest to the path of stones. Not in the mood to get soaked, she carefully picked her way across, trying to ignore the giant eyes on her back. The moment her feet touched down on the grass on the other side, Tara could feel the muscles in her body relaxing. No longer was she in giant territory. She was back, safe and sound on her own side of the border.

When she turned back around to face Thomas, she could see him looking back at her with a gentle smile on his lips. He brushed strands of light brown hair away from his face, and as Tara took in his appearance, she was reminded how scarily human-like giants were. It would be far easier for humans to dismiss them as monsters if they had huge horns, or razor-sharp fangs. Now that she had met Thomas, it was now even more difficult to do so.

Holding her arms in front of herself, Tara returned Thomas’s smile, though hers was much less easy going than his. “Well, thanks for not eating me, I guess.” She said with an awkward chuckle.

Thomas made an amused sound in his throat. “You’re welcome.”

Lifting her gaze up to the sky, Tara noticed the sun was nearly halfway hidden beyond the horizon. Night would fall soon and she still had the walk back to town ahead of her. Not to mention there were probably some people wondering why her herb gathering trip was taking so unusually long. She still wasn’t sure what exactly she was going to tell her friends and family about her experience. It was something she’d have to mull over on the way home.

“So long, Thomas.” Tara gave a short wave.

“See you soon.” Thomas replied, a playful edge to his tone.

With that, Tara turned around and began the trek back to town. She didn’t feel the vibrations of retreating giant footsteps until the border was completely out of sight.

A/N I don't necessarily plan on making another part to the First Hunt per say, but I am making Tara, Thomas, and Lane official OCs on the blog. I'm thinking of taking story requests and prompts in the future, so if anyone wanted more of the First Hunt universe, perhaps that could be arranged 😜

[veliseraptor]

2020 Fanfiction Round-Up

I do one of these every year! And have since I think 2016. Can’t break a tradition even if it’s been a clusterfuck of a time and filling this out was in some ways an exercise in remembering the ways I have failed myself as a writer this year. 

But oh well!

Total Year-Long Wordcount: I’ll post the final final number tonight after I finish the writing I want to do this afternoon (and plan to do this afternoon), but it’s currently 451,803 words written this year. Guessing I’m going to land somewhere around 453,000ish. (AO3 claims a higher number than that but that’s because it is counting the entirety of fics where I posted chapters this year.

This year I wrote and posted: I wrote a fair number more than I posted (there are five fics finished but for various reasons unposted on my hard drive) but based on Tumblr I posted 78 posts in my fic tag, which, not including chapter specific updates and three sentence meme answers (but including at least two Tumblr-only longer fics), probably comes out to about 60 or so “full length” fics that saw the light of day in 2020.

Overall Thoughts

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d predicted? 

Well, I wrote more than I did last year, which is sort of a surprise to me (all things considered) but also maybe not, because I was doing a lot less of most other things that could’ve been occupying my time, including two hours daily of commuting. 

But still less than I did in 2018. Which is fine.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? 

Lord, I don’t know. It depends on when you ask me. Lately I’ve been in a bit of a “I hate everything I’ve written ever” state of mind, so that makes it sort of hard to do any kind of...reasonable assessment. 

I know I’m proud of With Absolute Splendor but I have all these reservations about it and I can’t reread it for the most part because I always notice new things I wish I’d done differently. I feel pretty good about efforts in a common cause but something about it still makes me cringe, which I suspect has to do with my general self-consciousness. I have a hard time feeling unreservedly proud about...anything I wrote this year, really. 

I feel like the closest I get is maybe nor autumn falter which I am pretty pleased with and also which does hurt me a lot personally. Or I did end up overall pretty pleased with what came out of By Proxy.

But also the more I look at this question the more I start hating all my own work, so...guess this is kind of coming at a bad time.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I mean, I started writing in my first non-English fandom in many years, and specifically one where I was trying to engage more with the cultural background of the setting (in a way I wasn’t with, say, Death Note, when I was writing Death Note fic). So that was a risk. And I learned that it’s very stressful and there’s so many ways to make mistakes and I am, in many ways, a coward. But also I think I’ve learned a fair amount thanks to a lot of very patient people on the internet, so...there’s that.

Otherwise...I mean, I got ambitious with a few projects this year (the Big Bang fic and With Absolute Splendor stand out), but I’m not sure how much I really tried new things. 

I feel like I had to fight myself a little on writing straight up bad sex for By Proxy - I planned on it being hot, and it really wasn’t. It was mostly just miserable. Which made for a better fic, but was a new experience for me as far as ‘I thought I was going to write porn and that isn’t what I wrote.’

From my past year of writing, what was….

My most popular story of this year: 

By far, With Absolute Splendor. In fact, it has now become my second most kudosed fic of all time, behind only fuckin Life in Reverse. So like. That’s a thing.

(It is still less than half as many as Life in Reverse, but for context Life in Reverse has been around for going on eight years.)

Most fun story to write: 

Most fics where I feel like “I’m having so much fun writing this!” also go through a “oh god I hate this it’s terrible” phase which makes this sort of hard to assess. But I did have overall a lot of fun writing Mutual Friends despite all my frustration with the canon-wrangling I had to do to make it work in my head. 

But also I feel like both Retributive Justice and Embedded were in different ways deeply iddy fics that were just fun to write. That actually goes for a lot of the Whumptober fics. That was a very self-indulgent month. Excited to do it again in February (hopefully, if I can write things in a timely manner at all).

Story with the single sexiest moment: 

I feel like the beauty of your repair might be my personal favorite smut I posted this year, but I think my personal favorite that I wrote is in the big bang fic nobody will see until January. 

I feel like most of the sexiest moments I’ve written this year are in the porn fics I’m going to start posting in January also. But just generally I feel like the beauty of your repair is the sexiest thing I wrote and posted.

Most “Holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story: 

I mean, I Come With Knives is definitely up there. It’s not that wrong or anything, but it got pretty intense in some ways I wasn’t expecting. Mostly in how much blood got involved, which was actually more than I’d had it involved in a sex thing before! Kind of surprises me that I haven’t previously done more with bloodplay stuff but. Well. First time for everything!

I don’t think this was a year that really had any “wow, what the fuck, Lise” things in it. Nothing on the level of last year’s winner. I’m almost disappointed in myself.

Abattoir was definitely the story that generated the weirdest conversation and creepiest search questions, though, so it does get points for that. 

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: 

I feel like the writing of everyone else is spring bound was a lot of...me thinking through my Jiang Cheng feelings and specifically my Jiang Cheng post-canon feelings. 

the martyr, the victim was pretty formative in shaping how I think about both Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji and their relationship with each other. It was the first fic I wrote that really dug into them in any way, I think, and definitely one that informed how I thought about writing Lan Xichen later.

Hardest story to write: 

I was thinking it was the one that I haven’t posted yet but I did technically finish, aka my Big Bang fic, the terrible threesome fic, the massive “I’m gonna keep everyone in the Yi City arc alive” AU that I started shortly after finishing The Untamed and finished in December. So I spent most of the year writing it.

But then I was like - no, I’m going to have to go with we live until we die even though it’s technically been ‘in progress’ for five years and really kicked into gear in 2019 and I just finished it and posted it this year, because that fic was like. The culmination of a big arc in an enormous verse dealing with a whole lot of balls in the air and trying to tie up a whole lot of threads. It was ambitious and the stakes were high and it was full of plot and action which are not two of my strengths...frankly I’m still amazed I pulled the damn thing off.

Biggest Disappointment: 

I think it is better if I refrain from going too in depth on this because it would just end up as me listing a bunch of my perceived failings. But I think off the top of my head I’m frustrated by the fact that I still haven’t really managed to write a XueXiao smut fic that quite hits the spot for me, myself. I’ve written two and for various reasons I don’t really like either of them. 

Biggest Surprise: 

The fact that my Jiang Cheng fic took off the way it did. Legitimately did not see that coming! At all! I mean, I’m delighted by it but it wasn’t what I saw happening as far as “niche I’d find in this fandom” or “thing I’d write that people would really enjoy reading.”

Particularly with By Proxy. That fic got a lot more attention than I would’ve expected. 

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: 

I feel like every fic I write with Xue Yang in it tells you something about me and most of those things are things that make me, on some level, deeply self-conscious, but I try not to think about that too much.  

I feel like the most telling story is maybe we all drift sometimes because I literally wrote it out of a depressive episode about a bad brain day but that wasn’t unintentional.

Favorite Opening Line(s):

1. So it turned out that if you touched the tendons of a dead person’s wrist and channeled a little bit of spiritual energy just right, it made the fingers twitch and curl like they were still alive. (Abattoir)

2. Here’s the thing: your Daozhang is glorious when he kills. (tear out all your tenderness)

3. Turned out that a sect leader’s head came off like anyone else’s. (Unnatural Selection)

4. The first hint that anything had gone awry was the letter from Lan Wangji (His Excellency Hanguang-jun, pardon me) that simply said have you heard from Wei Ying? (some good mistakes)

5. What Jiang Cheng wanted to do, more than anything, was to go home and take a nap. (everyone else is spring bound)

Favorite Line(s) from Anywhere:

I usually keep this to 10 but because I’ve been in such a :| place about my own writing I indulged myself this once.

1. Sometimes it felt like all he had done since descending the mountain was shatter his own dreams and accumulate regrets. (nor autumn falter)

**

2. It felt like she was holding all the components of a bomb in her hands, half assembled. If she moved the right way they would stay just that: components. But if she moved the wrong way… (til my judgment day)

**

3. He should have killed him. Should have been the one to strike that blow, in revenge for Jin Zixuan and their sister and everyone else dead for Wei Wuxian’s pride. Maybe then there would not be this gnawing, aching thing embedded in his chest; this itching, unfinished feeling. Maybe then he would not feel torn in two, sometimes like he should have reached out with his other hand and sometimes like he should have struck truer and sometimes both, in the same moment. (Interstitial)

**

4. He owed Wei Wuxian more than he could ever give back in this lifetime. Forgiving him felt like betraying his sister’s memory. Not forgiving him felt like trying to walk with a thorn in his foot. He was just - stuck, caught like a demon in a spiritual net.

Jiang Cheng thought of the way Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Wangji, with warmth and trust and love, and the aching, sick jealousy he had no right to feel returned. He felt a little like a child watching someone pick up a toy he’d abandoned and suddenly realizing that he wanted it back. (everyone else is spring bound)

**

5. You close your eyes and think about how he looked back in that town, Shuanghua slicing clean through a man’s neck, opening it to the spine, and think dizzily that he could open you like that and it’d be good, as long as it lasted. (tear out all your tenderness)

**

6. When Wangji loved, he loved with his whole being, without reserve. And now he had been placed between the rock of his convictions and the hard place of his devotion to Wei Wuxian. (the martyr, the victim)

**

7. He spent a week turning the idea over in his head. Studying it like a corpse he was going to dissect, poking at it, cutting it open and examining its insides. (dead reckoning)

**

8. When the world hurt you, that was the only thing to do, after all. Hurt it back, harder, worse. Spill rivers of blood for every drop it squeezed from you.

And when the end came, never go quietly. (the blood in your mouth)

**

9. I would stand with you through the end of the world, said Loki’s voice in his head, and Steve’s heart wasn’t in his chest anymore, was somewhere off on another planet where Loki was lying dead in a ruined city. (we live until we die)

**

10. Was it always going to be like this? Stumbling into traps, tripping over familiar skeletons, slicing himself open on the edges of old hurts. Was there really such a thing as leaving the past behind? He still felt stuck in it, unable to move, and every time he thought he might be finally dragging himself free something pulled him back. (With Absolute Splendor)

**

11. His chest was full of poison. His throat was full of grief. And he was still a little drunk.

Jiang Cheng went to his room, sat down on his bed, put his face in his hands, and cried until he couldn’t breathe. (By Proxy)

Top 5 Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:

I think the scene from nor autumn falter of Xiao Xingchen just crying his heart out over Xue Yang’s dead body would be up there.

The Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian hug from the end of With Absolute Splendor.

Okay, just gonna say it: Xue Yang and Jin Guangyao having sex by the table with Nie Mingjue’s headless corpse on it. So sue me.

The scene in the blood in your mouth where Song Lan has stabbed Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen is following the line of Fuxue to the latter. I have a very clear visual of it in my head and if I could art I’d art it.

Xue Yang with the hallucinatory Xiao Xingchen from liberate spirits, liberate souls.

Fic-writing goals for 2021:

Finish Walking Far From Home.

Maybe I’ll finish some of these MCU WIPs? I’d kind of like to, on an abstract level if nothing else.

Become a more well-adjusted human being about the relationship between my productivity and my self-worth.

[miyamiwu]

I posted 350 times in 2021

70 posts created (20%)

280 posts reblogged (80%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 4.0 posts.

I added 768 tags in 2021

#fandom - 209 posts

#animanga - 102 posts

#cmedia - 102 posts

#vanitas no carte - 87 posts

#my post - 61 posts

#donghua - 58 posts

#shiguang dailiren - 48 posts

#time agents - 42 posts

#link click - 32 posts

#danmei - 27 posts

Longest Tag: 134 characters

#some fans of the untamed were so toxic and started spouting out unwarranted hate against jiang cheng without having even read the book

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

In episode 11, Lu Guang had series of flashbacks that confused me when I first saw them, but which all made sense after rewatching...

306 notes • Posted 2021-07-10 17:14:34 GMT

#4

Oh god, the details are so beautiful

242 notes • Posted 2021-06-04 14:40:25 GMT

#3

I find it so cute of Shiguang Dailiren ( 时光代理人) to have Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang’s name contain characters from the first word in its title.

186 notes • Posted 2021-07-10 17:36:30 GMT

#2

Here’s an HD version of the new official art.

If Tumblr messes up the quality, here’s an imgur link

136 notes • Posted 2021-04-23 01:47:20 GMT

#1

Vanitas no Carte is not just another vampire story

Although I wasn’t expecting it, I’m kinda happy both the opening and ending songs featured only Noe and Vanitas. Because this is THEIR story. It was stated as so right from the beginning. 

There may be many other complex characters and many other people that touched their lives, but at the end of the day, the whole story is simply Noe’s recollection/flashback of what happened between him and Vanitas. The others are just side characters.

Before the anime came out, I was expecting it to take a typical shounen approach--an emphasis on the fight scenes and mystery solving and stuff. But right from episode 1, it grounds itself as a personal story. And I realized, right, that’s how it should be.

While I was watching the episode, it always seemed like something was off. Although a lot was happening, the pacing still seemed slow. It didn’t look like something people would be excited about in a shounen vampire anime. But that’s okay!

Because this is not another “vampire story.” It has vampires, yes, and they’re also crucial to plot, but at its core, Vanitas no Carte is not a vampire-hunting/vampire-saving story. Instead, it’s a story about how Vanitas and Noe “together wandered life’s path.” It’s a story about discovering what is love, what is life, and what is salvation.

And I’m so happy Studio Bones gets it. They didn’t turn it into some mainstream shounen, even though that would’ve made it more popular. The opening and ending songs will continuously remind us of what it is that truly makes VnC.

121 notes • Posted 2021-07-02 22:09:20 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[otterplusharchive]

rey! do you have any recs for kdramas? i have never watched any, but i like lovable characters and romance ? thank you in advance!

I DO IN FACT HAVE DRAMA RECS HII not all of these will be kdramas, but ill start with the kdramas ive watched and enjoyed and ill include all the warnings for them that i can remember off the top of my head and a brief synopsis for u!

kdramas-

1. weight lifting fairy kim bok joo

this was probably one of the first kdramas i saw people post about in like 2015 and i watched a little bit of it in 2016 but then only just got around to finishing it last year. the basic gist of it is its about a young sports college weight lifter, kim bok joo, centering around her navigating through her life and trying to figure out who she is and what she wants in life and what she wants to be. her romantic interest in the show is a swimmer and they have a sort of rivals to friends to lovers, he is SO in love with her and its adorable. i absolutely loved the side characters in this show theyre all so fun and kim bok joos best friends and weight lifting team are especially delightful. my main warning would be that this show addresses eating disorders and theres a lot of mention of both weight gain and weight loss, theres also a plot point early on where kim bok joo has a crush on her eventual love interests older brother but it gets resolved and the older brother literally goes "i didnt realize you had a crush on me and if i knew that i wouldnt have been so friendly with you, it would be completely innapropriate for us to be in a relationship". overall its a really sweet and emotional fun show but if you have issues with weight talk id skip this one

2. tale of the nine tailed

this one is really recent from last year and i didnt expect to be so hooked by it but boy howdy did i get attached to all the characters and the wild plot. it feels hard to explain the plot but basically a nine tailed fox named lee yeon is living in modern day seoul and is working for the underworld finding paranormal spirits/creatures/other rogue foxes that are causing havoc on the world, hes resigned himself to living this life while waiting for his girlfriend who died tragically 600 years ago to come back to life because he traded his status as a mountain god in order to ensure that her soul would one day be reincarnated. a plucky investigative journalist named nam ji ah figures out that hes not human and shenanagins ensue because she looks exactly like his dead girlfriend oooooo whatll happen. the plot beyond that gets really wild and its hard to explain and is easier to just watch. if u enjoy paranormal adventures this one is good. my one big complaint and issue with this is that the immortal mountain spirit meets his original girlfriend when shes a child and she continues to visit him off and on as she grows up which is Hm I Dont Like That! but thankfully the present time romance our female lead meets him when shes about 30 if im remembering right. also warnings for general fantasy violence, references to child abuse, animal death, and abandonment issues

3. extraordinary you

HUGE unreality warning for this. if you have issues with feeling unreal or have paranoia/delusions about not being a real person id avoid this one just because of its premise

ok i know i said tale of the nine tailed was a hard plot to explain but BOY extraordinary you is even HARDER to explain. because its so wild but so good. its about a girl who realizes that she is literally a side character in a comic book, and the story becomes her trying to change the story to save her character from dying but it becomes a lot more than that. the romance in this is literally tooth achingly sweet and the show itself is very pretty, i loved the side characters in this one and the show was engaging and interesting to watch it became really layered and meta. super reccomend this one honestly. my main issues/warnings that i can remember off the top of my head were just one character being the classic controlling boyfriend stereotype, bullying someone specifically for being poor, unreality like i mentioned before, and then at the very end there was this love interest for a side character who got reincarnated from a past piece of writing that they had been in and put in the comic but she was a student and he was the school cook which is weird but thankfully they like barely interact at all and theres no real romance he just like recognizes her and its barely a thing at the end of the show but its still weird

4. mystic pop up bar

big warning for suicide, sexual harrasment (which is framed as being bad and the guy whos harrassing the girl literally gets thrown off a roof)

i havent finished this one yet and thats mainly because im not emotionally ready because this one makes me soooo emotional. if you like found family this is a good one. its about a pop up bar run by a woman whos been tasked with solving the problems of a certain amount of people in order to atone for her crimes in the past before dying, shes able to enter the dreams of people and solve their issues using the information she gets in the dreams. paranormal shenanagins ensue, she acquires a son and a husband and it kills me its so fun and quirky and fun despite handling dark themes and peoples problems. also very sweet the found family murders me

5. kingdom (netflix original)

i literally am not going to be able to watch any other zombie media because kingdom and train to busan are the best pieces of zombie media ive ever seen. warnings for gore and violence and just general horror aspects.

i absolutely love this one its so thrilling and well done, i love the acting and the way that this show looks its absolutely gorgeous. a zombie plague breaks out in joseon period korea where the emperor has died and then was brought back to life by the queen and her father in a ploy to try and keep their family in political power, the crown prince must find answers. a lot more happens and its very dramatic and good i love the characters in this one

cdramas

1. the untamed. if you follow me and you havent watched the untamed im begging you to watch the untamed. literally one of the most beautiful stories ive experienced in my life i am not joking when i say i cried multiple times over it. the main characters are canonically gay in love and have a son together please watch the untamed. handles a lot of dark themes, heres a tw guide

2. the sleuth of the ming dynasty

this is another one i havent finished but its fun so far, very gay, found family, food, and solving murder mysteries during the ming dynasty

3. hikaru no go (also known as qi hun)

havent finished this one, there is some propaganda about hong kong in the first episode but as far as i know thats the only instance of something like that in the show

this ones about the game go and so far its very sweet and fun, local boy awakens a ghost who was a master of the game of go hundreds of years ago and eventually is persuaded to learn how to play go with the aid of the ghost. im really liking this one so far its very cute and i love the characters in it. if youve watched the untamed nie huaisangs actor ji li is in this one!

4. the legend of yunqian

this ones very short and on youtube, all the episodes are about 5 minutes long and its a lesbian time travel fantasy adventure with a happy ending! funny and cute

jdramas

1. cherry magic

please please please watch cherry magic. the premise sounds very much like a weird yaoi kind of thing but trust me on this. trust me. it is so heart warming and sweet and i was so emotional about it and the growth of the main character.

adachi gains the power to read peoples minds on his 30th birthday based off a urban legend that if youre a 30 year old virgin that youll become a wizard. after gaining this power he accidentally finds out that his extremely popular and handsome coworker has a crush on him, and shenanagins ensue along with adachi having blossoming feelings in return. this show was really refreshing in a lot of ways, adachi is a main character who like.. is unsure of himself and insecure in a very kind of realistic way, he closes himself off and is afraid to reach out to people and through the course of the show we see him slowly come out of his shell and realize that hes likeable and lovable and that people want to be around him and its so nice to see. my main complaint about this show is that i dont really like the background couple, but otherwise this is a very sweet and refreshing gay romance that has a happy ending!

some others that i myself havent seen but that ive seen people talk about a lot and that i want to watch eventually:

- the legend of fei (cdrama)

- the wolf (cdrama)

- gaurdian (cdrama, not the kdrama one called goblin)

- healer (kdrama, i did watch some of this one but it was in 2016 and i never finished it so i barely remember any of it but i do remember liking it)

- nobody knows (kdrama)

- its ok to not be ok (kdrama)

sorry this is so long but i hope youll be able to find a drama u enjoy!!

[accio-victuuri]

Style Guide : Xiao Zhan

Zhan Zhan’s style evolution from the cute and warm boy next door to a Top Entertainer. from his trending airport fashion, designer bags and transition to streetwear— here is his story.

I originally wanted to include stuff from his university days but settled on when he started on c-ent. It’s not secret that he was popular in his University and is a fan of designer brands from the start. I will also use airport photos before the ban. for the clothes after, I will just post the picture of what he wore.

I. XFIRE & Idol career

He initially started as a contestant in survival show called x-fire where people saw him as this warm guy who had a really good voice. Once he debuted as part of XNINE, more and more people started noticing him. His unique style that leans more on Japanese chic is what makes him a favorite of fans to photograph in the Airport.

You will see videos of him talking to fans who are there and visiting. You would not think he is as tall he is when you look at his photos. With X-NINE, he blended well with the concepts they have and it’s not as drastic as how KPOP acts do it. He still preserved the quiet and gentle image.

II. Life as an Actor

Xiao Zhan was still promoting with XNINE when he started being active in Dramas. Including the Wolf, that made him decide he wants to be an Actor.

Around this time, he also started shooting the Untamed. His style pretty much remained the same. With his soft and oversized cardigans. However, we get glimpses of him starting to use streetwear. And definitely darker colors.

III. Rising Star

In 2019 and with the Untamed making him a household name— his style has transitioned into a less complicated one. He still had the quirky tops from time to time but his general style has moved into street. I don’t think he ever had an interview where he addressed this and why he changed. One thing is, this makes him less recognizable by people.

In events, he always stuns with high end brands that he partners with. You can also notice that his style has a more matured edge to it. A top actor who is confident who he is and it just make the clothes match him so much better.

IV. Spotlight

After the ban of airport photos and anything outside of his live events— he still continues to carry himself with the same style. oftentimes with a cap and his mask on, completely covering his face. He also preferred baggy pants and nike shoes.

In his rehearsal pictures, the same style is also seen.

HIS STYLE QUIRKS.

1. Oversized cardigans - This is his signature style especially in the early days. It’s impossible to not search for him and not see these moments. In his interviews, he is always asked about this type of style and how achieves it. He countered saying that just use clothes that are comfortable to you. Yeah, those big cardigans really look soft and comfy.

One other thing is that he became really know for a few that he wore at that time. They either get sold out or someone makes knock offs.

2. Eyeglasses - This is more of a necessity than a fashion statement for him but he looks good on them anyway. it adds something special & it just adds to his charm.

3. Stuffed toys - Aaaahhhh! The ones he carries with him at airports. Who can forget? He even accepts ones given by fans and carries it with him. He stopped doing this in 2019 onwards but it’s still nice to reminisce.

4. Bags - Men usually don’t pay that much attention to bags. Just one or two that they use regularly, but it’s different for Xiao Zhan. In one interview, he said that it’s a good accessory. from backpacks, slings and really small ones— he uses it. The Tod’s bag from his shanghai vlog? Sold out so quick.

5. Red bracelet - This one is actually not a fashion statement. GG started wearing this bracelet that his mom made for him in 2015. Since it was his year, he was told to wear it and so he followed. We know how superstitious he is and so it’s not a surprise to see him wear something that is supposed to keep bad things away. This gained more attention to fans when he was seen wearing it in his appearance after the 2*7 fiasco. KXZ, a brand he endorses even popularized it by allowing fans to put red bracelets on his standees in stores. To this day, you can still see him wearing it in his personal time.

TOP BRANDS HE LOVES THE MOST.

1. Gucci - The real leader of the Gucci Gang. If he wears something, the first thing that comes to mind is Gucci. No matter how generic it is, like some baggy jeans or simple shirt— it’s gotta be Gucci. both as a personal preference and what he wears in events. Gucci even invited him for their 2019 fashion week.

2. Balenciaga - I am adding it here because of his iconic balenciaga cap. He wears it frequently and has been associated with it.

3. Nike - I mean, who doesn’t love Nike. Especially Air Jordans. He’s been seen wearing the same pairs multiple times. In 2019, he was even seen wearing a pair of that much coveted paranoise shoes.

4. Off white - Is a streetwear brand is based in Milan. The name of the brand is defined as the grey colour zone in between black and white. They collaborated with a lot of other brands & cater more to the millennial generation. Xiao Zhan has been seen wearing this brand frequently.

5. Stussy - is a brand that started from the surf scene in California. They have a store opened in Shanghai and has a special collection dedicated to it. Xiao Zhan has been seen wearing it since 2016 at the earliest during his off time.

That’s it for Xiao Zhan. I would like to add that it’s really exciting to see what he will wear next, especially in events. In his track record, he prefers Gucci, Dior, Yves Saint Laurent and Balmain.<3

[olderthannetfic]

Escapade Vid - The Untamed

I could say this was my attempt at meta on an underappreciated character and that's why I wanted to vid Wen Ning…

Nah, I just think he's hot.

Wen Ning has this adorable babyface and big eyes. Just my type. And then he got a goth makeover and became a creepy zombie, increasing his hotness by ten thousand times. The Living Dead was everything I wanted except for dubcon possession porn, and it both irritates and cracks me up to see how many people find it OOC and badly made. I agree the colors are an abomination though--but more on that later.

I like Wen Ning the best because 1. He's hot and 2. He's one of the most competent characters and compromises his morals the least. Mianmian might be one up on him given how her story turns out, but in a whole series of craven idiots, I like the suicidally moral characters, especially when they're competent.

And also JC. Because I like his face. (What? I never said my Untamed feels were deep.)

I wanted to make this vid last year, right after Escapade. I spent forever finding a song, and I'm glad I did it then because it was a nightmare. I can find love songs easily, but I don't really care about WN/WWX, nor would most love songs fit that. It's clearly one-sided, but WN is also clearly totally happy to follow him around forever. Happy love songs are out. Pining angst is out.

WN is also motivated by high ideals more than specific family feelings. WQ wants to protect her family. WN wants to repay his debts. WN is a shy doofus on the surface when we first see him, and he acts flustered around most of the older characters, but this is deceptive. I feel like the most revealing scene is when he pops up at Lotus Pier, ready to grab JC and take on his entire clan. In what universe was this a good idea? What is he even doing there? Why did it actually work???

I wanted a song that encapsulated WN's quiet stubbornness. The trouble is that like 99% of popular music is either about romance or about being a confident badass, and most of the confident badass music is "Fuck you, ex boyfriend, I'm stronger now". I did not want an ex boyfriend song. A bunch of other songs are macho, flexing dudes talking about how they'll win the sports competition. Obviously, that was out. There are a very few songs like Try Everything, but they're awfully perky for covering Wen Ning's entire story, including him getting, you know, gruesomely murdered.

I honestly can't remember how I found the song I picked. I was probably listening to Happy Hanukkah on endless repeat and saw it in the Youtube sidebar. (Look, it's a great song for all times of year. Shut up.) Matisyahu has many amazing songs that build and move in ways ideal for vids.

I then sat on this source/song combo for a year because, well, it sure was a year. But when we got close to Escapade, I realized I wanted to finish it for the con.

Clip choices:

I'm not going to include the full lyrics on their own since they're in English and on every lyrics site. Instead, I'm putting the relevant bits between my explanations of what I chose and why. A lot of it came together quickly. I knew I wanted to include cute WN moments, like him being bullied by kids, and they wouldn't fit in the main narrative, so I had to put them in the intro.

Feel like the world don't love you They only wanna push you away Some days people don't see you You feel like you're in the way

I had a lot of trouble with 'push you away' since, generally speaking, no one does push him away. However, this is a vid from Wen Ning's own perspective, so it felt like an acceptable match to use the part where Wen Qing tries to leave him behind as they go on a hunt. She's objectively correct to do so given what happens, but Wen Ning is clearly upset that she tried. He doesn't want to be protected, especially at the cost of other people's safety.

Today you feel as if everyone hates Pointing their fingers, looking at your mistakes You do good, but they want great No matter what you give they still wanna take

I was very clear from early on that I wanted to use 'mistakes' for what Wen Ning is actually upset about: ruining Jin Ling's life. Of course he feels super guilty about what he did, despite it not being his fault, but the specific fallout Wen Ning is going to care about is a kid's feelings, not the political drama. That gave me the idea for what to do with 'good' and 'great'. More than most characters in the series, WN is not impressed by the power structure or reputations--scared, yes, but not impressed. WN likes bringing people food, at little things that are quietly good, and their society does not value that. (Cf. everything about Jiang Yanli's betrothal before Jin Zixuan catches feelings.)

'No matter what you give' I used for a shot that is probably not going to read as anything in a convention vidshow. He's bruised up, so I was hoping it would read properly visually. The actual context of the shot is WN having been thrown in the dungeon for being a traitor to the Wen. And yet, when the Wen are defeated, does he get a pardon? Nope, ignominious death. It really didn't matter what he did: these factions are all thoroughly corrupt and the entire system is garbage. It's all power-hungry assholes and sanctimonious prisses ripe for manipulation. All that mattered was that he was a Wen, and the Wens were either on top or being exterminated.

Give your love and they throw it back You give your heart they go on attack When there's nothing left for you, Only thing that you can do, say

The next part is WWX being an ungrateful little bitch. He's understandably stressed, but it still cracks me up that he's all up in WN's face and WN is literally only there to help him. WN might feel an obligation, but WWX sure isn't earning it here.

'When there's nothing left' I wasn't sure about. WN hitting rock bottom is arguably when he gets killed or maybe when they're in the burial mounds, but that didn't work with my structure. I chose to put a montage here of all the times that WQ tells him to stay safe by ditching WWX. I sympathize with WQ, but as WN comments in one of these scenes, he's following their own family code that she taught him. WQ cares so much about protecting WN (and the rest of their little part of the clan, but let's be real, it's mostly about WN) that she's willing to collude with a mass murderer just to keep him safe. Maybe it's only because he's a younger sibling, but WN seems to see things a lot more clearly. I laugh every time he's like "Uh huh, uh huh" as she lectures, and then the next scene is him running off to do something dangerous again.

Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Fight like a warrior, Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Live like a warrior

For this round of the chorus, WN is burning his Wen clan membership in a fire, and the heroic thing is running away, living to fight another day. WN has no ego, nor would ego be helpful here.

Buuuut, equally, being an actual warrior means hurting people, and while he was literally mind controlled into murder, that still couldn't have happened if he hadn't been already involved in violence and fighting. Violence you regret is also part of this life, and so is accepting responsibility for your actions. (Sure, he's very literally not responsible here, but WN doesn't know that at the time and doesn't feel that even later.)

There's some things you should let go, They're only gonna pull you down, Just like weight on your shoulder They are only gonna make you drown

I swear The Untamed has the best casting for a variety of face types. I recognized everybody from the moment they appeared… Except for Su She. Whom I forgot entirely and couldn't recognize at all. Doh.

It wasn't till I was clipping the whole series for this vid that I realized that the reason Wen Ning gets possessed here is that he's the only one to notice Su She's plight and go to his aid right away. I think on first viewing, I read it as him just getting possessed before he could get in the air, but that's not what's happening at all. His dumb ass stayed behind to try to help someone. Seriously, fuck Su She. They live in a grotesquely shitty power structure, but WN responds in admirable ways, while Su She just whines that he's not on top.

We all swing high, we all swing low, We all got secrets people don't know We all got dreams we can't let go, We wanna be brave, don't be afraid

WN's secret is that he gets possessed so easily and why. WQ is refusing to tell WWX in this scene, but he has figured out something is up and gives her a talisman for WN, which shows up later in the plot to great emotional effect--though not in this vid, alas.

The butterfly reveal was one of the first things on my timeline as I recall. I have Many Feelings. Also, this is me, so yes, I totally ship them. >:D

WN and WQ showing up to accept responsibility is kind of a dumbass move, but it's definitely brave. I enjoy how WN just keeps barrelling through the plot in a way that should mean he's the cute woobie who dies early on to prove the world is bad… and that instead leads to him being one of the strongest fighters, making it through the series, and finding A-Yuan again. (Though, okay, he did that first thing also. Heh.)

I ended on Jin Ling because I was so struck on rewatch at how the juniors first meet Wen Ning.

Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Fight like a warrior, Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Live like a warrior

I dimly recalled this fight, but it wasn't till I was clipping that I realized just how much focus each of them gets and how WN is literally strangling them and such. I just remembered him fighting people, not who. It's hilarious how quickly after this (in their timeline) we have doofus woobie WN being cute and them being like "He's my murder zombie! ♥"

For this chorus, I focused on that change. WN is rescuing them. "Yesterday" is their scared faces. Here, being a "warrior" is apologizing to JL. And maybe WN doesn't really owe an apology, but JL does deserve one. Almost no one in the series seems to give a shit about how JL is feeling.

And then my favorite scene with my two faves! WN is finally telling JC what he has probably wanted to for ages. WN is a wuss when it comes to himself, but he gets righteously pissed when someone else is being mistreated. The yesterday he's letting burn here is his promise to keep quiet… along with viciously burning down every bit of self perception and hubris JC ever had. Ouch!

Your heart is too heavy from things you carry a long time, Been up you been down, tired and you don't know why, But you're never gonna go back, you only live one life Let go, let go, let go, let go, let go, let go,

Bless the sequel movie for literally being entirely about Wen Ning's internal struggle. The way he breaks free of the bad guy's hold is by accepting the past and letting go of his guilt over things he can't change.

Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Fight like a warrior,

He's just so hot in this movie! This first chorus is him coming out of the hallucination, having beaten his self doubt and then beating on the villain.

Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Live like a warrior

Okay, in actual canon, JL mostly joined them because he was competing with LSZ like the bratty little asshole he is, but I wanted to highlight how JL got over himself enough to join the other juniors on team WN. Also, WN defends both him and LSZ in this scene in ways he couldn't back then.

Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Fight like a warrior,

This I wasn't planning on at all. As I was clipping the whole series, I was thinking that WN's possessed footage here wouldn't be narratively useful since he went and got taken over again, but when I rewatched for visually impressive stuff to use interstitially, I realized that--holy shit--he's defending Jin Ling in this scene. And he succeeds. I included both a shot of Jin Zixuan, which everyone caught in the vidshow, and a shot that nobody mentioned: Wen Ning's bloody fist after ripping JZX heart out to go with Wen Ning's bloody hand on the sword in the present as he struggles to keep it from Jin Ling. Here, fighting like a warrior means keeping the sword off of JL, even if WN can't defeat the spirit or resolve the entire situation himself.

ALSO I HAVE MANY FEELS ABOUT JC JUMPING IN FRONT OF JL.

Today, today live like you wanna, Let yesterday burn and throw it in a fire, in a fire, in a fire, Live like a warrior

Sometimes, WN is not that sweet. He traps this dude in a hell of his own making instead of letting him kill himself because Wen Ning can be a vindictive little bitch. And then he strides off into the matte painting sunset.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Other vidding notes:

I totally wanted to do something with Chinese characters, but there wasn't really space, and after much dictionary-searching and asking, it's clear that Chinese does not use morality metaphors involving a compass pointing true north. But that effort was not wasted since I needed a good font for my other vid.

Vidding The Living Dead turned out to be a pain. I had completely forgotten it was in another aspect ratio. The shots look much more beautiful before one crops them. That said, none of them are that beautiful because the entire film has this atrocious green color filter over it. It's like they're all wading through mud at all times. Ughhhhh. I spent so long trying to fix the color on that final scene to be at least a little pretty for my vid.

Still, the film had exactly the emotional tone I wanted. It very much skewers the fanon that WN is entirely the bashful wimp he appears to be on the surface when we first see him. It makes overt the change that we see over the series. It's also fundamentally different because it's a situation where WN is the senior person and in charge of someone. We've seen him babysit a small child, and we've seen him around the juniors with lots of people of his generation also there, but we've basically never seen him out from under WQ and WWX's thumbs. It's only natural that he's acting more authoritative here. His smackdown of the villain is very much in line with how he treats JC during the golden core reveal. WN is not a forgiving guy when he thinks someone has been selfish and awful.

Throughout this vid, there are shittons of color, speed, and motion effects. I don't normally use a lot, but it turned out to be a lot of fun this time. I should find another project to use effects on.

The vid:

Available on AO3.

[rainbowsky]

Hello! I’m a new turtle who’s silently been around for a couple of months and I’m not really aware of a lot of things. There’s a 🍭 (some people take it as) about “blue sky white clouds” and I am so so lost. Are there any posts you can link me so that I can understand what it all means or if you can explain it to me that would be helpful too. I’ve read a few posts but I still don’t understand anything, I want to know what this phrase/words mean, how they’re linked to ggdd, what was the interview about and why are some taking it as a 🍭? And I noticed it’s also your display name, wow, so I’m even more curious 😂

Hi new turtle! 💛🐢💛

I don't think I've done a post going over all of this before, and it's a question I get asked a lot, so here goes...

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

Blue sky, white clouds is a bit of a BXG slogan or rallying cry that I first saw during an Untamed promo interview they did back in 2019. They were asked what they remember about filming and GG said, "Blue sky, white clouds." (Although fans have found references to BSWC from as far back as 2017).

GG and DD have repeatedly referenced BSWC in their posts and comments during interviews and events. Here are just a few examples:

June 5, 2020 GG posted a BSWC photo. Kadian 13:28 or "Forever love Bo." The message, "Blue sky, white clouds. What do you see?"

Some BXG believe they see a running shoe in the first picture.

The next day DD did a post with a pair of shoes (DD used shoes a lot in his posts to reference GG, because shoes in Chinese is xie zi), one of them red and the other blue with a white cloud swoosh.

The blue shoe model name is exactly the same wording as GG used in his post, "Blue sky white clouds." The red shoes are called Xing Zhan (using the same character as GG's name).

Hilariously, the next day Youku posted saying they felt that it looked like the Youku logo and savage DD replied, "your imagination is beyond imagination." 😅 (Never stand between DD and a candy!)

June 12, 2020, GG posted again "Look at the blue sky and white clouds... my hair has gotten long."

(Turtles were very 👀 by this post, because it closely resembled a post DD made way back in 2017, where he said, "Should I grow out my long hair?")

They've both mentioned BSWC at strange times, just randomly dropping it into conversations. For example during a SDOC hotpot episode Jackson was asking DD about filming in Yunnan (where he filmed Being a Hero), and DD replied, "The blue sky, white clouds there are really beautiful."

GG mentioned it in the Qingdao snacks video as well (the same one where DD's name was mentioned). When he was doing his end of the video wrap-up, talking about what Qingdao was like for him, he said, "I can see the sea, blue sky, white clouds, black soil."

And of course twice in the recent Mendale product launch event, GG mentioned BSWC. Once when asked if he'd seen the starry sky, and he replied, "Blue sky, white clouds" and the second time when asked about his ideal camping trip, he replied, "Blue sky white clouds, the smell of dirt, and I think there has to be insects, mosquitos."

A lot of the photos they post feature BSWC as well. I don't have room here to post them all, but just browsing their images, you'll see this theme come up again and again.

They've also worn a lot of clothing that seems to reference BSWC.

My CPN on Blue Sky, White Clouds

I think it probably started up totally by accident. Something that maybe they both like (sort of like the moon), that gradually became more of a thing as BXG took note of it, to where now it's something they use as a candy.

I know of at least a few popular Chinese songs that mention BSWC as well, which is maybe another thing they might smile about whenever they hear it.

I think, based on GG's referencing BSWC in that Untamed interview they did way back in 2019, that it's also a nod to that summer they got to spend together filming. Something that reminds them of a special time, that they can share with BXG.

I also just think it's a beautiful, refreshing, optimistic image. That's part of why I personally like it so much. It brings to mind all the things about GGDD that make me happy.

As a new turtle you might find my masterlist post helpful.