#but maybe i should get on real social media or something idk

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

one of my friends and i were talking about life and where we would be in a few years and it made me a lil bit sad

[yongseungkim]

.

[astonmartinii]

daniel x gradschool reader?? maybe they’re not officially dating but he meets her when he’s in new york and they spend the summer together??

big apple lovin' | daniel ricciardo social media au

pairing: daniel ricciardo x gradschool!reader

sparks fly when daniel visits new york on his winter break

yourusername

liked by yourbff1, yourbff2 and 203 others

yourusername: studying up a storm in the city of my dreams

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yourbff1 stop being so pretty and so smart

yourbff2 yeah leave some for the rest of us

yourusername omg stopppppp i'm blushing

yourclassmate now zoom in so i can steal some notes

yourusername at least do the stealing urself

danielricciardo

liked by landonorris, redbullracing and 602,785 others

danielricciardo: big city exploring

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username he's looking so fucking good DAMN

landonorris miss you already

danielricciardo i tend to have that effect

username i'm sad he doesn't have a seat but he seems so much better right now

maxverstappen1 so like none of the pics we took matter?

danielricciardo didn't want to hurt your feelings when everyone ignores you for my sexy ass

newyorkstreetstyle

liked by yourusername, f1wagsupdates and 20,651 others

newyorkstreetstyle: our usual warren street fashion icon has been double trouble recently, obsessed with both.

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username warren street girl having the best taste in men as well ... mother

username not daniel ricciardo on new york street style do they not know who he is?

username DANIEL CONTENT

username people in the comment section freaking out over the man but warren street girl is the real nyc celebrity here

username warren street girl i do not know you but on behalf of the f1 community thank you for taking away danny's skinny jeans !

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, yourbff1 and 1,237 others

yourusername: found this stray cat in central park, anyone recognise them?

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yourbff1 idk who he is but he looks freakishly similar to the guy who hasn't left our apartment in a week

yourusername ah yes now you say it they do look strikingly similar

danielricciardo i won't stand for the bullying here !! y/n stopppppp

username what.do.we.have.here

username i'm totally chill about this rn

yourclassmate1 if he gets us all coffee again he can stay for as long as he wants

danielricciardo finally someone on my side

danielricciardo

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 721,663 others

danielricciardo: wet dream concrete tomato or something like that

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username i am not okay

landonorris you got a gf WE GET IT

danielricciardo i'll leave you to your thirst traps

carlossainz55 low blow ricciardo

danielricciardo LET ME BE HAPPY

username bf!danny is something so personal to me

yourusername whoa what shade of lipstick is that?

danielricciardo a pretty one :)

yourusername

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tagged: danielricciardo

yourusername: final stretch of grad school with some extra motivation

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yourbff1 believe me everyone in the apartment can hear the motivation

yourusername THERE ARE KIDS ON THIS APP ACT APPROPRIATELY

danielricciardo sorry not sorry

landonorris so this is who the honey badger is obsessed with

yourusername as he should be

username GRAD SCHOOL? educated wag incoming let's go

nyu

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 51,678 others

tagged: yourusername

nyu: nyu graduate y/n y/ln has had her graduate study published in the journal of english literature and cultural studies!

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username so how did danny's dumbass pull a published researcher?

yourbff1 ENGLISH LIT SLAY

yourusername thank you nyu will miss you guys :(

nyu come visit soon!

danielricciardo congratulations smarty pants xx

yourusername love you honey

username she's so mother i can't

yourusername

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tagged: danielricciardo

yourusername: grad school ... completed it mate ;)

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maxverstappen1 congrats y/n !!

danielricciardo love you so much, so glad i met you xx

yourusername thank you for spilling your coffee on my manuscript xx

username they're so cute oh myyyyyyyyy

yourclassmate1 but now we need jobs

danielricciardo

liked by redbullracing, yourusername and 812,673 others

tagged: yourusername

danielricciardo: finally showed the mrs my day job

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username FULL LAUNCH AT A RACE OH LORD

yourusername so you really are that famous?

danielricciardo who wouldn't be a fan of my face?

yourbff1 so where's our tickets we had to deal with you all spring term?

username she's so fucking pretty STEP ON ME

note: pls enjoyyyyyyy (p.s. there's a lando request i finished but tumblr deleted it from my drafts so i'll get that up asap) xx

[star-suh]

Taeyong x btm male reader the reader and ty are both leaders of nct and while doing the 24hr reley cam fans see some hickeys on the reader neck and lower stomach while tybhas some on his colorbones...hehe and then we maybe get a flashback when they were getting heated in the living room and then Johnny comes in while he does his reley cam and yeaaa idk tbh feel free to ignore it

Natural Born Fuckers

lee taeyong x male reader

cw: idol au, y/n is part of nct, y/n is also nct's leader, hickeys, top taeyong, blowjobs (both receiving), mating press, breeding, spit kink, sweat kink, marking kink, implied multiple rounds, some johnny sprinkled at the end.

—

the relay cam video of the two leaders of nct has been just released, fans were watching how y/n and taeyong were having fun, laughing, cooking and all those things throughout the whole video until they noticed something. in social media was trending how y/n has some spots in his neck and lower stomach that look like hickeys and taeyong has some on his collarbones too, captions like "tae/n is real", "that should be me", "who's the lucky one?" or "they can top me" accompanied the pics. but what really happened? let's go back to a night before they recorded that fucking video…

y/n and taeyong we're both cooking, between them there was always some sexual tension, constant eye contact and teasing was made between them making everything escalate quickly.

"taeyong pass me the sausage" asked y/n, taeyong wanting to tease him replied "which one" putting his hand on top of his bulge. y/n's eyes widened and he blushed "don't be disgusting" he says grabbing the sausage and taeyong laughed "this one's bigger tho" murmured y/n teasing taeyong back. "shut up, you haven't even seen it" he fought back, "no need to, i just know it" said y/n.

taeyong slapped y/n's shoulder "if you want to see it just tell me" he then grabbed y/n by the jaw and whispered "but you're not going to try it. i know you're going to want it after you see it". they made eye contact and just went with their feelings, a very hungry kiss, teeth clashing between them like they've wanted that for a long time. "if you wanted this… should've told me before young one" says taeyong between kisses, "don't act as if you… didn't wanted this too" replied y/n caressing taeyong's cheeks who grabbed y/n by the neck to deepen the kiss. "let's go to our room" said taeyong panting.

both discarded their clothes while kissing. they were so eager to have sex that they forgot to lock the door… y/n leaned on the bed while taeyong did the same on top of him, kissing y/n in his neck while leaving hickeys "gonna mark you so you can remember this night forever" said taeyong going down y/n's body leaving some kisses and hickeys in his lower tummy, until he reaches y/n's cock and started to suck it "it tastes so good. fuck" said taeyong while staring directly at y/n's eyes like a hunter looking at his prey "don't look at me like that bastard" said y/n shyly covering his eyes with his arm.

taeyong then settled in a 69 pose "go on, suck it" he demanded to y/n who opened his eyes meeting taeyong's big cock "shit, that's so big" he gasped. "c'mon weren't you saying before that it was smaller than that sausage?. c'mon you can take it babe" y/n slapped taeyong's tummy "asshole" he murmured. both were sucking their dicks as of they were lollipops, hungry for tasting each other's pre-cum, "fuck~ how much i love hearing you gagging on my dick" the older stopped sucking y/n's dick and started to mouthfuck him, using him as an onahole "it's not that small after all huh?" taeyong said, reproaching y/n's past comment. y/n tapped taeyong's thigh signaling him to stop and he did, "what happened?" he asked worriedly. "nothing i just don't want you to cum in my mouth" y/n replied opening his legs right before, taeyong smirked understanding what y/m means "ok" he simply answered positioning himself quickly between y/n legs and sliding his cock into his tight hole.

"you have no idea how long i've been waiting for this" says y/n, "me too" replied taeyong who kissed y/n and then spat into his mouth "swallow it" demanded the top scooping his saliva with his fingers and introducing them on y/n's mouth so he can suck on them. taeyong was pounding hard into y/n's ass "it feels like heaven" thought taeyong, enjoying the pleasure given by y/n's hole. 

taeyong then grabbed y/n's both legs and push them towards y/n's upper body and fucked him in a mating press position, y/n's face clearly showing the pleasure that taeyong was giving him, the tip of his cock brushing y/n's prostate. "fuck yeah like that, keep ruining me like that" begged the younger, "dont worry boy, i'm not gonna stop fucking this amazing hole" said the older speeding up his thrusting pace, y/n's face was now in front of taeyong's collarbone that was drenched in sweat so he decided to lick it and leave some hickeys on the collarbones, "not gonna let you forget this night too" says y/n and taeyong smiled "you look so cute while being fucked" then both kissed passionately, spitting in each other's mouths.

"i'm cumming" y/n commented "wait for me" said taeyong "let's cum together. yeah?", "yes" replied y/n. both speeding up their paces, white ropes of cum were shooted from y/n's cock to all his abdomen and chest while taeyong cummed inside y/n growling like a beast. "did you like it?" asked taeyong, "i loved it" answered y/n kissing taeyong. the top pulled out his cock from y/n's hole watching his cock smeared in his cum and how it's dripping down the bottom's gaping hole "get ready y/n i'm gonna fuck out that cum out of you" says the older introducing his cock again, "you have all night for that" said y/n smiling at him, making faces showing how much pleasure he's feeling and restraining his moans so no ona can hear them…

—

"ok guys, this here is the leaders' room" said johnny to the camera who was facing at him, only showing his face, "let's see what are they doing", he opened the door making a surprised face he then tried to hide it "oh it seems that they're busy now" he laughed and smiled to the camera "i'm gonna keep continuing showing you all the rest of the dorms, ok?" said the man who had to continue recording only his face due to the huge bulge forming in his pants, from the scene he just witnessed. 

[phthalomushroom]

The Family (3)

last next

pairings: modern!mafia!aemondxreader

summary: You had left Kings Landing and the Targaryen family four years ago. Now back and living with your old roommate you realize that the life you had thought you escaped had seemingly been waiting for you. But will the family really let you go? Will the people you left behind forgive you? Can you forget the past and look to the future?

word count: 3.3k

warnings: language, mentions of trauma, mentions of shooting, alys rivers, Italians, drunk aemond??

notes: this felt rushed but it is also long - sorry about that, idk what happened I've been super busy!!!

You hadn’t spoken to Baela the entire way home.

To say you were more than pissed was an understatement. You couldn’t tell if you were more mad at the situation or at your best friend for keeping such monumental information from you. You stormed into your apartment with a plan to shut yourself in your room for the night when Baela stopped you.

“I was told not to tell you.”

You whipped around. “What?”

“Aemond… wanted to be the one to tell you.”

“And how would he have told me?” You had blocked his number and his social media when you left the city, fully shutting him out of your life. She gave a weak smile.“He didn’t say.”

You crossed your arms. 

Baela let out a long breath. “Listen, even if Aemond didn’t ask me not to say anything, I wouldn’t have brought it up.”

“You're my best friend Baela, I should have been told. What kind of friend are you?”

“One that remembers how fucking destroyed you were when you two broke up. One that remembers you leaving the city, fleeing from everyone all because of a fucking guy.”

“Which is why I should have known!”

“Why!” Her voice rose. “So you can run again?”

“I wasn’t running!”

“Then what the fuck were you doing?”

Escaping.

But you couldn’t say that. You couldn’t say that because it would make everything that happened that night too real. It would make everything and everyone you had shut out all these years pointless.

“I couldn’t deal with another 10 hour train ride,” Baela said after a minute of your silence. “Clearly there is still something you have towards Aemond.”

“Baela-”

“Whether it’s feelings or unresolved shit, I don’t know. Just… maybe seeing him, talking to him, will help you.”

She moved past you to go towards her room. She stopped with her hand on the door. “I’m sorry for the part I played in this, but Aemond asked and-”

“You couldn’t say no.”

She frowned, opening the door to step into her room. “He’s the head of the family now since Otto is in jail. You know whatever is asked goes.”

Your heart dropped. 

Aemond was head of the family?

********

You had an awful night's sleep. You tossed and turned, thinking about what Baela had said. 

Aemond was head of the house, he now ran the family which meant he called all the shots. He finally achieved what he had wanted all those years ago, but how he got there is what plagued you.

Your clock was nearing eight in the morning when your phone chimed. You looked at it seeing a message from an unsaved number, your heart sank as you read the screen.

Heard you're back in town, we need to catch up. - A

The fucking bastard. 

You had half a mind to tell him how caught up you were when you decided against it. You threw your phone on your bed and began getting ready for the day, making your way to the kitchen. You saw a note on the table from Baela, apologizing for last night and how she wanted to talk it over more when she got back from the dinner tonight.

You crumbled the note throwing it in the trash. You had already forgiven her in all honesty, you couldn’t be mad at her for long. Besides you were being too harsh on Baela, after all you hadn’t told her anything from that night. She only knew that you and Aemond weren’t together anymore and that you needed to leave right away. In the end you were taking a lot of your frustrations out on her rather than the real person causing it. But to redirect those feelings meant that you would need to talk to Aemond and that wasn’t going to happen.

Not anytime soon anyway.

You sent Baela a quick text telling her all is forgiven and that you would see her when she got back from the celebration dinner. 

You rummaged through the cabinets trying to find anything to eat but it seems like you’d need to do a grocery run. Thankfully you didn’t start full time at work till next week, your employer understood that you needed to settle into your “new” home. 

At least that's what you had hinted at when they asked when you could start.

You put your shoes on and headed out of the apartment, going to the cafe that was a block away from where you lived. From what you remembered this place had the best chocolate croissants and made the best drinks you’ve ever had.

You had just put in your order, sitting at one of the corner tables, scrolling through your phone as you waited for your name to be called, when the chair across from you screeched.

You looked up meeting the delightful green eyes of Alicent Hightower. 

You nearly choked on your spit.

She smiled cheerily at you. “I heard you were in town.”

You smiled back, putting your phone in your bag. “I just got in yesterday, I was gonna call but-” 

She held her hand up. “Best not to, there are prying eyes and listening ears all around that house I swear.”

You laughed. Alicent Hightower had been like a mother to you when your own mother left. When you had come crying to Aemond freshman year when your family was falling apart, Alicent was the one who wrapped her arms around you and let you stay in the house until you were ready to go back.

You still remember her rage when you had told her about the note your mother left.

She truly was one of the things you missed about the Targaryen family. 

“What are you doing on this side of the city?” Alicent, along with most of her family lived in an estate on the East side of the city that overlooked the canal.

“You know this side makes the best pastries.” She gestured to the boxes by her feet. 

“Georginos is pretty stellar.”

She grinned, reaching across the table to give your hands a squeeze. “And how are you doing?”

You put on a convincing smile. “Great, no problems yet.”

She nodded. “Good to hear. After what Aemond told me, I’m surprised you decided to stick around here.”

Your heart dropped. “What?”

“The rats, dear. I don’t know how you and Baela are able to live in an apartment with rats in it.”

You swallowed your confusion. “A lot of traps.”

“Aemond said he’s heading over later to talk with the exterminator, I’m confident he’ll take care of you.”

You nodded along. “Yup!”

She squeezed your hands again. “I’m so happy that you and him could remain friends all these years, I mean I had half a mind to drag him to Winterfell and make nice.”

You nodded along, hoping your face didn’t show the confusion and anger you felt.

“Anyway, what is your number? I've missed our chats.”

You hastily reached into your bag, wanting the uncomfortableness of this conversation to end. You pulled your phone out and along with it, the invite from Alys.

Alicent’s eyes widened, upon seeing the crumpled invitation. She looked up at you smiling. “I was hoping Aemond would take my advice on inviting you.”

You gave a half hearted laugh, shoving the invite back into your bag.

Could this get any worse? 

“So I take it I'll be seeing you tonight then.” She stooped to pick up the pastry boxes. 

Come fucking on.

“I actually wasn’t planning on attending.”

She frowned. “Why not?”

You stumbled over your words. “I’m Aemond’s ex.”

“But you're part of the family.”

“It wouldn’t look good if I came.”

“And why not? You and Aemond are still best friends, it would be absurd for you not to be there.”

“I just don’t think Alys-”

Alicent snorted. “Screw what Alys thinks, I’m the one paying for the whole damn charade. I might as well get a say in who gets to come.”

Just then your order got called. She grinned pushing in her chair. “Till tonight, dear.” 

You watched her walk out, at a loss for words frozen in your seat.

What the fuck just happened?

********

You had managed to fill Baela in on the phone of what happened in the cafe. Telling her about Aemond’s lies to his mother and the insistence of Alicent that you attended the dinner. Baela was able to stop by after work so that you two could walk in together.

You had just managed to find a dress in the back of your closet that would work for the formal occasion, your boxes from Winterfell still hadn’t come yet, to your dismay. The dress was slick black that had a perfect neckline that accentuated your boobs and yet didn’t do too much to make it seem like you were trying. Baela had described it as ‘tasteful sexy.’When you were looking in the mirror you couldn’t remember for the life of you where you had gotten it but didn’t care as you quickly left for the event.

You were already late and you didn’t want to have to spend anymore than an hour at the dinner. Luckily it was at Federicos, the whole place having been shut down for the special event. 

The restaurant came into view as you walked up the street, you could see Jace, Luce, and Rhaena all standing outside waiting. 

“You ready?” Baela asked. “We can bail out now, Luce can vomit on cue.”

“Tempting but gross,” You responded. You let out a long breath fidgeting with your handbag. “If I don’t show up Alys will be smug, and Alicent will hunt me down.”

“You don’t say no to the family.” She squeezed your hand.

You approached your friends, plastering on a smile that you knew you’d have on all night.

Rhaena hugged you first. “Finally, I’ve been trying to get Baela to let me come over to see you.”

“Yeah, it's been a crazy first day back.”

“Are you ready to go in?” Jace asked.

 “Of course, I’ve been wanting those garlic knots since we left last night.”

You hated faking it for them. You’d rather leave, you’d rather not be here. But maybe this was a fateful way of telling you to face your shit head on. So you took a deep breath as everyone filed inside, squared your shoulders and knew that you would get drunk as shit after this.

For now you picked up a cocktail from the bar with the others and sipped carefully, you needed a clear head for the night. You already spotted Alys making her rounds around the room, but hadn’t noticed Aemond among the crowd. You looked around again seeing Alicent sitting at the corner booth, nursing a glass of wine.

“I’m gonna go make an appearance with Alicent,” you told Baela.

You snaked your way through the crowd, all mostly being people from Alys’s side with a few Targaryens and Hightowers mixed in. A part of you wondered why more of the family hadn’t come but those thoughts were put on the back burner when you took the seat across from Alicent. 

She smiled. “Glad you could make it, love.”

“Glad to have been invited.

She waved you off. “Of course.”

“This place looks amazing, Alys really outdid herself.” You looked around at the black and white monochrome decorations that were dispersed around the restaurant. 

“It’s tacky,” she frowned. “And dull.” 

You chuckled. “You are just as blunt as I remember you.”

She lifted her glass. “Always.”

Her eyes drifted over your shoulder just as you heard a voice say your name. You turned to see a wide eyed Aemond Targaryen standing in all black with an empty whisky glass in his hand and a beer in the other. His hair that was cut short the last time you saw him had grown out and was now tied in a bun at the nape of his neck. He was as handsome as ever and the skip your heart did told you everything you needed to know.

You needed to be strong and you needed to be cold. 

You swallowed the panic that rose and instead raised your glass to him. “I guess congratulations are in order.”

That seemed to knock him out of his stupor as he gave you an easy smile. 

You heard Alicent get up from her seat, rounding to her son. “I can take this to the bar, you two should catch up.”

Aemond let her move past him, taking the empty glass from his hand before he slid into the seat opposite of you. He leaned back like he didn’t have a care in the world, his eyes glazed. “You never answered my text.”

“What text?” You took a sip of your drink.

He smirked, taking a sip of his beer. “You never were a good liar.”

“I blocked your number.”

“I got another number.”

You shook your head, he was still insufferable it seemed. “Seems like a lot of trouble to contact an ex.”

“You’re worth it.”

“You're engaged.” You weren’t going to let him win this. 

He leaned forward putting his forearms on the table as he set the beer down. The veins of his forearms strained slightly. “I was going to tell you when we met up.”

“And how would we have done that?”

“Well if you were going to continue ignoring me it was going to be more of an “accidental” meeting. I think that would have been charming.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re insane.”

“And you are still as beautiful as the day I first saw you.”

“I wonder how Alys would feel about that comment.”

“Alys isn’t here,” he slurred. 

Now that pissed you off. Yes, you hated Alys Rivers but like hell were you going to be treated like some mistress. “You're an asshole, you know that?”

He shrugged, leaning back as he took a swig of his beet. “I don’t understand how I can be the asshole when you're the one wearing a dress that I bought you. That is just insulting to my soon to be bride.”

Your stomach turned. That’s where you knew the dress from. Aemond had gotten it for you on your last anniversary. But if he was going to be an asshole about it, so could you. Strong and cold, that’s what you needed to be. 

You shrugged like he did. “A lot of men have bought me a lot of things over the years, I must have just forgotten.”

Something flickered in his eyes at that, like a fire had suddenly been lit. “You’re lying.”  

“Kinda like how you're lying to your mom about us.”

His face blanched, clearly taken aback. “What are you talking about?”

“We’re best friends? You’re helping with the rats in my apartment?”

He regained his composure quicker than you thought. “We are best friends and I did help with the rats.”

“That was the first week we moved in and it was one.”

He waved his hand. “Semantics.”

“We haven’t talked in years and from what your mother tells me it’s like we talk everyday.”

He leaned on the table again“What are you doing here, (y/n).”

“I was invited by your beautiful fiancee and your mother.”

“No, what are you really doing here?”

You ground your teeth. “Your mother invited me. You don’t say no to the family.”

“Except you.”

“What?”

“Everyone else can’t say no but you.”

You frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“You were always the exception, (y/n). Then, now, always.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“I know that if you really didn’t want to come here you wouldn’t have, rules be damned. So why did you really show up here in a dress I bought you for our anniversary?”

You hadn’t realized it but during your exchanging of words his hands and yours had moved closer, your fingertips just touching.

Just then Alys came around the table sitting on Aemond’s lap, he pulled his hands away snaking them around her waist. “We’re doing toasts soon, honey.”

His eye drifted to you, before he looked at Alys. “I’ll be there in a minute, just need to finish this conversation.”

Alys suddenly looked at you, her eyebrows shooting up as she tried to look surprised. “Oh, you came! I gotta say I didn’t think you’d show.”

You looked at Aemond then. “I’m just here for the celebration.”

She smirked. “Well I hope your gift is nice, gods know enough of these people only gave us cash.”

She stood up then, leaning down and giving Aemond a long kiss. You looked at your now empty glass. 

He pulled away first, giving her a weak smile before she darted off back in the crowd. He folded his arms over his chest. “Celebrating Alys and I’s engagement? Seems very mature of you.”

You scoffed. “And how would you like me to react Aemond? Smash all the glasses, destroy the present table, burn the whole place to the ground?

It was his turn to scoff. “Well at least it would be a reaction, instead of this cold whatever.”

“I have been nothing but polite since we started talking.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it.”

“Then what are you talking about, Aemond?”

He leaned forward. “You’re shutting me out, putting walls up, being cold.”

“And what’s the problem with that? You were the one who told me to leave, Aemond. Then I come back and you’re trying to act like we’re friends. I don’t know you.”

“You’ll always know me, just like I will always know you.”

“Then how come I look at you and I don’t recognize you.”

“Maybe you don’t want to recognize me.”

“Don’t do that.”

He smirked. “Do what?”

You gestured to him. “Those stupid fucking games - answering my questions with questions, giving stupid fucking philosophical answers.”

He crossed his arms. “And why is that?”

You huffed. “You’re a prick.”

He shrugged. “At least I got some reaction out of you instead of that ice princess bullshit.” His voice went high pitched as he mocked you- “congratulations are in order, beautiful fiancee.”

“Is being nice a crime now in your family?

“No but being a liar and a coward is.”

You rolled your eyes. “Get a grip, Aemond.”

“What’s the real reason you came tonight?”

“I was invited by Alys and your mother, you know how they both can be.”

“Bullshit,” he spat. “I think you came here because you were curious, you couldn’t stay away.”

You wanted to laugh. This was such bullshit, what even was happening right now. Was he mad at you cause you weren’t mad? 

“Admit it.” He scooted closer.“I think you wanted to be here tonight to see for yourself if you could get me back.” He was leaning across the table now, his eyes flitting between yours. His voice dropped. “The ring was always yours, she’s just keeping it warm for ya darling.” 

You could smell the alcohol on his breath. He was clearly drunk and now he was being cruel. When you knew him he would never have let himself get to this level of intoxicated and he certainly would never have been so mean to you.

What the fuck happened when you left?

You shook your head, looking away from him.“I’m not here for you, Aemond.”

He arched his brow. “Then why’d you come?”

“To see for myself that everything we had was a lie.”

He leaned back, shaking his head. “What are you talking about?”

“Seeing you tonight like this, with her, I understand now that it wasn’t love we had but convenience.” You started getting up. “I hope you two are very happy together.”

He stared wide eyed, watching as you began pushing through the crowd. “Wait.”

“Goodbye, Aemond. Have a good wedding.” You waved over your shoulder as you walked away from Aemond Targaryen.

Tag List: @dixie-elocin @liannafae @toodlesxcuddles @watercolorskyy @zenka69 @bellaisasleep

[erme-aeterna-arts]

you can’t for real be stanning ricky september out there. you did notice he is also racist, right? and that he is not “changing the system from within”?

he did nothing even though he knew about the problem (people getting eaten), he says he tried to post tiktoks about it but they got blocked and then he just went on to saving himself only and the rest were to be eaten. he could’ve tried taking off other people’s bubbles and idk stopping them from walking into the mouths of the slugs (the slugs were so slow even when they did attack, if anyone tried to escape properly they likely would’ve succeeded!). he likely only helped this lindy because she came across him.

ricky shows up to save lindy as the doctor usually would (story-wise, to demonstrate how differently lindy treats ricky and the doctor), but also, importantly, he is very much unlike the doctor if you think about it even for a bit. it is also obvious from lindy’s reaction to him revealing that he just uploads the tiktoks and then goes to read a book, or from his “resistance” to the slugs. he presents himself as counterculture, as an intellectual, a fighter against the norms and the lies of the system, but lindy admires him for it, as opposed to her anger at even seeing the doctor on her screen, and that’s because ricky is none of the things he seems to claim, he is more than comfortable within the system, he benefits from it and he shares about not being on social media all day bc it makes him seem cooler and smarter, not because he believes that there are issues with the society.

moreover, and this is my most important point here because i see it debated, ricky is very dismissive of the doctor and keeps trying to interrupt him, when the doctor explains the codes to him, even though his very life depends on the precision and accuracy of those codes. and yes, it is because the doctor is black, and not because he already knew about the pulse codes (i’m adrresssing an argument i saw on this website already). otherwise, he would treat lindy the same for being parasocial with him and acting like she has skills/knowledge of the real world when she clearly doesn’t (a specific example, if you need one, would be the moment she talks about her very hard and complicated job, which distracts them from escaping the slugs and she definitely doesn’t get this treatment). and when the situation is the same and the disrespectful behavior is only directed at a person of color, that’s racism.

also, just because he turned off the bubble for most of the day doesn’t mean he left the white supremacist society, like he literally couldn’t have because there is a force field around the finetown. and those history books he read, i don’t think finetown allowed for any alternative ideologies, so the books he read must have been written by the white supremacists who built this town. so, none of this is actually a sign of him protesting against the system or anything. he is suppposed to seem like he is “educating himself”, but the viewer must consider his behaviour and realities and what the underlying values here are. the point of ricky’s character is that you should be questioning and not just accepting that if someone fits the pattern of progressiveness on the superficial level, they actually are progressive.

we don’t see as much of him as we do of lindy and the rest, he dies before the confrontation (the big reveal that it was racism all along, as some people put it), but who is to say he wouldn't have sailed off as well? maybe he would even lead them (they all follow him already) + he also very much fits into the “pioneer” image (the vocabulary used in the dialogue like “taming the nature like our ancestors did” is the red flag, it’s very classic of white supremacism and one of core concepts in the ideology of european colonialism). i can see him presenting himself as a leader and his knowledge as something that would protect them all, something they would build a new finetown with. what do you think all the history books he read were about again?

you can disagree with me on this last paragraph, because it’s not in the text and i’m theorizing based on the present evidence. the rest, however, is the text and is telling enough.

does ricky fly under your radar because "logging off the social media and touching the grass" is something often framed as progressive? this is not a rhetorical question, i genuinely don't know. still, i do hope this analysis would prevent the embarassment of making and reblogging all the "kneeling for ricky september" posts at least for someone.

[phoenixyfriend]

I'm having thoughts about the Jedi and romance and UGH

Listen to me

Listen

(This is a shitpost, please do not reblog to argue with me, it's not for that. This is me, an a-spec individual with a lot of feelings on how society affects the things we view as important, venting in stream of consciousness.)

"Missing out on love" isn't something that matters as much when your society isn't amatonormative

"But they aren't allowed to get married" what if they don't want to?

"But they aren't allowed to romance" what if they don't want to?

When your culture is one that emphasizes compassion for all, and the most important bond is that of child and teacher... Don't you think that people might just not think of marriage as something worth striving for?

And from @jebiknights:

Honestly the only reason it bothers Anakin is bc he already met Padmé when he became a Jedi tbh i bet it wouldn't even bother him as much if he hadn't met her and already had visions of marrying her In general though yeah lol, that's one of the things i kind of miss about legends, is they didn't always deal with the attachment/romance/marriage thing well but you consistently had obi wan exes even before satine where they were like yeah we love each other and always will but we have no need or desire to get married or continue this

When the world around you doesn't emphasize marriage and romance and all that, then wouldn't you view cultures that do as a tad odd? Not weird in a bad way, just different.

I just keep thinking about the real world and how so much of the obsession with marriage and so on is a sociocultural thing. You don't want a big white dress because it's a bit white dress: you want it because it is the symbol that your culture has been pushing on you since you were two. Girls are taught to fantasize about weddings and marriage and to like A Certain Look for it, sometimes to such a degree that they can spend decades in denial about things like their sexualities.

And we're unlearning that as a society, people are being more critical of the institution and how they engage with it, are starting to question what it is that our media teaches us, asking 'why is marriage the most important thing in a girl's life, or in anyone's life' and generally moving towards a world where marriage exists but is not treated as a universal life goal

But the Jedi are just. Already doing that. They are already Not Teaching their children 'you should want this.'

And when you aren't pressured into wanting something like marriage... why would you be offended that your community says "you can have that Legal And Religious Status, but not with us. We'll still be your friends, but we as a community are not compatible with that legal and religious status barring a handful of specific and necessary exemptions."

Just

Marriage is not an inherent human/sapient want

Companionship is! We are biologically wired to be social creatures! We are biologically wired to, on the average, want sex, as well! That's how a species continues!

But marriage? A signed sheet of paper? That's not... inherent.

Fidelity and monamory? Sure, maybe. Plenty of species mate for life. But... humans have been proving that's a choice for most of history.

Other species are other things but anyway

Even if we remove marriage, specifically, and go to discuss attachment as being fidelity and exclusivity and devotion to another...

IDK how to talk about this without just going "devoting your life to a single person for companionship, romance, and sex is not only not necessary, but actually kind of mentally draining and a bad way to support yourself, we all need support systems and if you value one person's friendship or companionship more than others, that's not inherently a bad thing, but if you define yourself around each other or start doing shit like Covering Up Major Crimes That Hurt Real Innocent People (or committing said crimes) then. Uh. That's a problem."

[olderthannetfic]

why do some popular things have such small fandoms, in your opinion? like, John Wick is incredibly popular but has less than 2k fics on ao3 and there doesn't seem to be a big fandom presence on tumblr. there's shows with 10+ seasons that have incredibly small fandoms as well.

i know not every fandom is going to be, say, Harry Potter or Supernatural levels (especially if it's an older show and fics have been lost to time- i've heard ER lost quite a lot) but it's just... odd to me, i guess.

--

The majority of things don't get fanfic fandoms.

There are some trends though. Certain genres are more likely to generate them than others. SFF is pretty likely. Crime dramas are reasonably likely, whether that's people slashing buddy cops on AO3 or lead canon het on FFN.

Incomplete-feeling canons are a bit more likely, usually due to plot holes or a crappy ending that people want to fix—but not so crappy that everyone just gives up in disgust.

Relatedly, things where the art part isn't too intimidating are more likely than ones where the big draw is that author's exact way of writing or the fantastically subtle and moving acting in some arty movie about social issues.

Serial media are way, way more likely to generate a fic fandom than one-offs, and having a certain number of hiatuses but not ones that are too long helps. You want some gaps where people have time to make stuff before it's instantly jossed, but you do need new canon to reinvigorate a fandom periodically.

Things just being well known by lots of people does help relative to a similar canon that few people saw, but exact audience size isn't the main factor.

Some tasty character dynamics help a lot. Maybe shippy, maybe more found family. A world that people want to play more with also helps. Even the gen-focused fandoms tend to care a lot about the latter two. They don't just write about any old canon. There have to be certain hooks.

--

John Wick does seem like it fits some of the standard criteria. There's more than one movie. It's fun, dumb genre stuff, not super high art.

TBH, having more than like 5 fics already means it's a success as a fic fandom, so part of it is just your frame of reference. I know you say you don't expect HP, but you should be expecting the norm to be way under 100 fics, not nearly 2k. That's part of it.

But I suspect the big reason is that a lot of people find the films relatively complete as-is.

They're set in the real world (-ish), so the setting isn't that interesting to explore with a bunch of OCs in the way that people write their own HP or Naruto casts. People like the lead, but I don't think they fixate on his relationships to other characters. (Checking AO3, it looks like some people are writing basically John/self, which makes sense.)

For much of the audience, it's all about watching him use a lot of guns. So many guns. All of the guns.

Once the big screen spectacle is done, I don't know that people really want more unless it's more action movies with more visual awesomeness.

IDK, I don't think I've seen any of these beyond some clips, so maybe I'm missing something.

[r3db3ans]

DAMN, BUT WHERE DID I GET MY MANNERS?

SUMMARY OF THIS POST :

WHO AM I?

WHAT IS THIS BLOG?

SUMMARY OF MY WORKS

Who am I?

First of all, I'd like to reassure you that I'm a completely normal person :') I say that because most of the time, when people come to talk to me or whatever, they tell me I look kind of cold. To begin with, I think an introduction would be good :D I've made a little info sheet, so you can get to know me better.

If you end up having any questions, don't hesitate to ask me !! Also, my native language is French, so I would like to apologize for any future English mistakes I may make. I still need to improve my English.

I came to this blog with the aim of taking a break from my initial account, and doing something where I could take my mind off things.

So if you end up finding my main account in other social media, please respect that choice of me wanting to create another account under a different pseudonym.

What is this blog?

I won't hide it from you, but this blog wil be mainly an Undertale blog. If i end up want it, maybe i will end up making content who might be suggestive or anything like these, so please.

I don't want minors to follow this blog.

Just in case.

don't want to create any trauma stuff and all

Maybe with a self-insert on it. Or maybe not, we will see it later :)

Of course, I'm just as happy to see people smiling on my fanart of their own fanworks, so really. If you've written a fanfiction or a AU and would like to share it with me, please feel free to do so!

If I had to share a goal in this blog, it would probably be to do official illustrations for a visual novel, or to be able to publish my own undertale-fancomic in this fandom.

I know this kind of project takes a lot of time, but you never know… right?

SUMMARY OF MY WORKS:

related to undertale and utmv/au

breans stuff

"BITTYBONES ARE BEING REAL?" Bittybones is not my work, i'm just drawing adventures of bittybones stuff in my pictures that's all and make it an adventure. :) Also the order of the chapters can change for various reasons, (mostly because of how unorganised i can be)

[PART 1] ; [PART 2] ; [PART 3] ; [PART 3.5] ; [PART 4] ; [PART 5] ; [LOADING...]

"Wanna have a SCULPTOR SANS and POTTER PAPS?" i should do more of this tbh

"Breans V.S the sh*tty life of fanfiction."

"BREANS SERIOUS ART"

"BREANS ADVENTURES" idk buddy, it's just Breans (so myself) moments, need to have some attention you know? :')

OCs

LOADING... THIS PERSON IS JUST LAZY FOR NOW...

[malk1ns]

tell us abt your girl sid wip 🥺🤲

WIP tag game :)

GIRL SID.

ok i may have made a post about this one before BUT i enjoy talking and thinking about it so here we are.

a lot of the rule 63 fics in this fandom deal with gender in a sort of...sid or geno or whoever it is is more androgynous; maybe they don't shave, they don't wear makeup, they dress in baggy athletic clothes—they're 'butch', i guess you could call it. whether it's who they always are or a defense mechanism from being surrounded by gross male athletes all the time, that's who they are. and i love those fics! there are so many really good ones.

but for me...that's not ever how i react to insecurity. when i'm in situations like that, where i'm one of the only women around, my instinctive response is essentially the opposite—i go hyperfemme. dresses, more (and sultrier!) makeup, i even raise the pitch of my voice sometimes. my gender defense is becoming more girly, not less, i guess. i'm sure i'm using all the wrong vocabulary for this but it's a complicated topic so please forgive me if i say something wrong.

anyway, what if a girl sid reacts THAT way as the only woman in the nhl? she's ultra-talented, of course, but she's still viewed a little bit as a token, as a charity case. she was drafted first overall because duh, but she's had to work three times as hard as everyone else to get recognition once she was actually in the league. the penguins front office gave her an A, but it feels like a PR stunt. geno wears the C for this team, and he's a good leader, but everyone in the room knows it really should be sid. she knows it too.

so what if her reaction was, whenever she's up for postgame media, she showers and spends time doing her makeup and straightening her hair first? what if she dresses 'like a girl' all the time when she's in public, and widens her eyes and talks sweet and nice to the reporters, and lets socially-appropriate non-threatening men take her to events so that it's clear she's taken and not being a slut in the locker room? what if that's how she copes with the pressure and the expectations and the misogyny, by retreating into femininity and using it as a shield to protect her more vulnerable parts?

and what happens when geno falls in love with her despite knowing just how badly it could hurt her reputation? what do they do?

idk i may never write this one as a real fic but i take a lot of notes on it, it's one i go back to when i just want to sort of have ideas onto a page. part of why i like writing m/m fics is they let me explore gender roles and sexual expression at a remove, with a layer between my actual self and the feelings and issues i'm writing about. making sid a girl removes that protection, and i'm not sure i'd be able to truly write a fic about it! maybe one day, though.

[inklore]

— CELEBRATING TWO YEARS OF LOVE.

let's pretend that i posted this on the real anniversary date (july 18th) and not a few weeks late ok. but i'm still shell shocked i honestly stayed around on here for this long, seeing as how i've been on this hellsite for over ten years maybe even longer, have left many blogs and sideblogs behind, but have stayed put on here for longer than it feels. even through all the craziness and friends gained and lost. i have not grown sick of this place and i know it's all because of my mutuals (and followers) aka the most beautiful, hilarious, talented souls anyone could ask to have on their side.

whether we are friends or have never spoken i love you, i adore you. thank you for making my time spent on here worth it even when times get tough and this little hobby of ours seems more like a stressful nine to five.

@deathmotif, @authurials, @theauthorvt, +annie — hey remember when we all met on wp and i started that silly little michael langdon gc on kik and it was a dozen of us in there but then it soon dwindled down to us five and kik was on the verge of imploding and we all moved over to snap and now we literally all talk every day, if not every other??! my day isn't complete without seeing one of you sending an unhinged video in the gc. IT'S BEEN SIX YEARS with you guys in my life and you know me better than anyone. i can tell you my darkest secrets, traumas, thoughts, and there's no judgment. it's literally the most healthy friend group ever. i'm forcing ya'll to dress up as barbie's for my bachelorette party, like you're stuck with me. barbie is serious. just as serious as my love is for each and every one of you. when i think about my life and future you guys are always in it. idk if we should thank cody fern or the antichrist or both. but whoever brought us together in this life i hope they do it in the next because life without y'all would suck.

@psychedelic-ink — you should already know how much i love you, but let me remind you, let me go on for ever and tell you how special you are to me ok. when i was balling my eyes out on the phone/discord you were there to listen to me be a blubbering mess, you were there to talk me down, to listen, to validate my feelings. when i need someone to be motivating and get shit done with me you're there. when i need to rant about something horny you're there to encourage the unhinged. our discord sleepovers are my favorite thing in the world. i'm still shocked when i think back to our casual messages on here turning into a friendship so close and tight that my man spent over $100 to send you a magazine (without question) because he knows how much you mean to me. you have my heart always!

@pedrito-friskito — i have the most vivid memory of me and sil talking about you on discord and how great you were and i was like um?? i wanna be friends with kay! so after we got off of the phone i messaged you and then before i knew it me, you, and sil were in a gc together and the rest is history. i love that you and i like to disappear without a word sometimes but always come back like lol sorry but here's this love and support and encouragement and let me just life update you but also make you horny with this thought, and sil just puts up with us and i love it. ily. i'm forever forcing you to write and publish every story you write because you're going to put sjm to shame with the beauty your brain comes up with.

@tom-whore-dleston — i know i'm the worst at replying but you never make me feel bad for it. you're like 'oh yeah her adhd brain will get back to this text in 2 to 3 business weeks it's ok', and i love you for it. but no seriously ily so much. you're the first person i think of when all i can think about is dick because i know you're thinking the same thing. i know you'll understand. every time i see you post on social media i'm like wtf?? why am i halfway across the states and not with the loml right now?? it's truly unfair because i know if we were together we'd be the most chaotic, loud, sluttiest duo ever. your talent always amazes me, your beauty makes me jealous. both of our partners better watch out because i'ma run away with you one day i swear!

@chaseadrian — the fact that we grew close in a fandom that i despise now and is more toxic than not and a beautiful friendship came out of it?? iconic. every time i think about you all i can think is 'they just seems like they have everything all together, their ideas, their graphics, their mind, the way they speak is like talking to that really cool english teacher' like lmao i cannot explain how much i want your vibe. i adore your vibe. i ADORE YOU.

@greenorangevioletgrass — as one of my first friends on this little blog of mine i feel like i need to do more than put into words how much i adore you, how grateful i am to call you a friend, to be a part of your presence on here. hearing your ideas, your living breathing fic-like life is serotonin to me. like please share in the sexy wealth bestie!

@sapphireplums — when i see you in my inbox i literally get this overjoyed feeling inside me like charity thought about me today?? took time out of her day to send me something?? i'm blessed. i hope you and your beautiful mind are thriving bestie because you're literally one of the nicest, softest, people i've met on here and i'm in your corner if you ever need me. to show you love and support. to continue to convince you that your themes will always be more superior than mine!!

@rae-gar-targaryen — if success and talent and beautiful prose (and face) was an olympic sport you would have won by now. you HAVE won. we may not talk as much as we used to but just know that i always am thinking about how you are, waiting patiently for you to bless us with more of your fics (even if it's a crumb i'm like a little mouse savoring it because hello?? emily henry who? she got nothing on you). as my lawyer i love knowing if i needed you you'd be there with a simple text, as my bestie, as someone i look up to, as someone who radiates elegance and something else i can't even put into words because that's literally how you leave me, speechless: never change and know i'm always here for you.

@allaboardthereadingrailroad, @littledemondani, @wroteclassicaly — the three of you were those 'big' accounts that always intimated me. i stood in the background reading your stuff and being like ok they're going to put me out of business and then being absolutely shook when you followed me, i felt like i made it. like this was what being on here was all about having the accounts you find the most talented and amazing, and who have wrote some of your fav fics, follow you. and we may not talk a lot but i cherish you guys so so very much. like even before i made this account, on my old accounts, i've always been your #1 fans!!

@kittyofalltrades, @namorwife, @yoditopascal — i may have all but died out and disappeared from the discord server, and we may not talk anymore, but some of my best memories are with you guys. the unhinged, the thirst, the games, the rantings, i've never been more entertained and chaotic and rowdy than i was with ya'll and i love it. i miss it. ya'll are still my favorite people, my loves, my besties. one day i will be horny over the same characters as ya'll again and you'll be annoyed with my thirst again.

@eupheme, @tripleyeeet, @wint3r-h3art, @ohcaptains, @celestianstars, @flordeamatista — if there were ever a group of beautiful people i constantly compare myself to because the way they write, the way their themes look, the way their fic layouts / set ups look, their graphics, their vibes, their talent, their so many damn things: it would be ya'll. like i'm constantly like how do i get on their level? like i know there's not levels on here and everyone is so uniquely special and amazing at what they write and do and make, but i'm always in the trenches of devoting and heart eyes over EVERYTHING ya'll post. ya'll are the cool art kids i want to hangout with but instead i'm screaming in cheer in the silent museum where your creations should be showcased.

@mothdruid, @moonlight-prose, @moondirti, @angrythingstarlight, @amywritesthings, @oncasette, @withahappyrefrain, @navybrat817, @bakerstreethound, @villenelle, @refined-by-fire, @ladylannisterxo, @emerald-chaos, @mxgyver, @foli-vora, @jettia, @moreofem, @bits-and-babs, @woodlandmouth, @fluffyprettykitty, @cocoamoonmalfoy, @galatially, @ladylannisterxo, @saintlike78, @buckys-estrella, @ghostlyfleur, @arctvrvs — through the two years of me being on here i have had the pleasure, the joy, of talking to each of you. whether that be screaming in asks, inboxs, discords, pms, where we were hyping each other up, sharing ideas, support, check ups, screaming over each others fics, whatever it may be. there has been love and support and every time i see ya'll in my notfis, reading my stuff, your thirst posts or rant posts or your rbs, i'm always grateful to see it. for it. to be a part of it. but most importantly i'm like: hello why are we not closer?? why do i not bombard them with my love?? annoy them with it so much so that they have no choice but to be my bestie and feel all the doormat love and support that i'm constantly feeling when i see their little icons and usernames. so this is me both saying i adore you, ily, we may not talk as much as i wished but i'm here supporting and loving everything you do and beware that i will annoy you with my love when you least expect it and soon you'll be wishing for me to get out of your pms. you have a friend in me, a supporter, a hyper, seriously i got lucky with y'all being my mutuals <3.

there's so many other babes that i'm missing but tumblr has a tag limit so i couldn't get everyone on this list but just know ily ily literally every single one of my mutuals is a gift from god to me. you put up with my posts and insanity, i have no choice but to give ya'll my whole ass heart!!!!

[klowncrunch]

"it's a comedy show"

This is a dumb take. Fight me in a parking lot have you no whimsy in your life. People analyze and criticize Brooklyn 99, the office, it's always sunny. You know why? Because it's public domain!!! Literally everyone is free to criticize them and if you don't like it idk touch grass?

I've been seeing this take around alot and I can't help but feel like it just will never make sense. Like you can't go on and on about media literacy and then LITERALLY discourage media analysis. People are allowed to care about things even if they're dumb fictional teenagers!

"oh it's improv of course it's not gonna be clean"

I mean. Yeah? But people can still be disappointed. It can't be changed obviously but people are still allowed to discuss why things didn't feel the best.

"I just think it's dumb and people should spread positivity"

I agree! But The opinion the episode had good and bad parts can exist.

"it's so para social to be upset at [blank]"

Imma be 100 percent real with you. Half of the time this take is horribly misusing the term para-social. If people are upset directly with the players past "maybe this wasn't the best decision n genuinely was a little weird" then sure!

"contradictions aren't a bug they're a feature "

Yeah. When those contradictions actually contribute something narratively. Which we will not know until episode 20. Otherwise people can feel literally any way about it. Who cares.

"what are the bad kids supposed to do it's the end of the world"

.

There are like 17 different DND podcasts where in the final moments a villain gets a genuinely nuanced death and it's also the end of the world. Fighting is the most convenient solution because that is what the system they are playing in encourages! I agree the ratgrinders Do Need to die but I just didn't like HOW.

"shut up and leave the fandom"

Say aaaaaaaaa open ur mouth real big

Also. So no one misinterprets me.

I am specifically talking about when these arguments are used in bad faith to shut down any discussion of the episode :0

[curlicuecal]

hey! how do this AI overview appears on your google? on mine it doesn’t lol i was just curious to know if this is a google extension or something

you don't have to enable it, it just randomly turns itself on at some point.

I originally had it on chrome browser but not Firefox, but it is now showing up on my Firefox, too. Seems to be a gradual rollout.

Note that it doesn't generate an overview for every search, but only occasionally, which make it harder to tell if it's enabled yet for you. No idea how it decides tho. I originally tested using questions from other people's screencaps (like "how many rocks should I eat"). Google does seem to either regenerate new overviews after a while, or maybe just update the ones that are getting embarrassing social media attention, because I have seen several of them switch.

Anyway, it's an incredibly broken, distracting feature, that takes up the entire initial screen of search results on my phone, drastically increases the loading time, and is probably burning a ton of power.

Fortunately there are a number of posts floating around with workarounds to deactivate it. (Google, of course, does not provide an option for that.) Also plenty of recommendations for alternate search engines. People seem fond of Duck Duck Go, although I find the image search on that extremely frustrating.

Still gonna try switching search engines again, probably. Idk if I'm imagining it, but Google seems to have tinkered with the rest of their search results as well? There's some real weirdness to how it's pulling things up and organizing them now.

[marcelinesghost13]

Hi Blog,

So a lot of things have happened in the last couple days. So I figure this would be a good time to get this she shit out of my head.

Let's start off with wife okay... So she is doing her normal negative hot and cold BS like always when she text me.. but today she asked me to give her a call. So I called her and asked wants up. She said that her lawyer called her and told her that the cop she filed a report with Putin a false report to get her in trouble. That's why the DA is going after my wife and the doing have and real evidence to charge her with anything. So here's the kicker she wants me to give her $1000 for the lawyer can try the case for her. I told her I'll figure out away to get her the money. She needs a good lawyer that way he can turn around and sue the city for lying about what happened.

So there's a person I've been talking to on one of my social media accounts. They are very nice and kind to me. Plus I'm actually attracted to them... Which I wasn't expecting. I really do like talking to them a lot about different things. Then also make me laugh a lot. The part that sucks is IDK if I'm ready for new relationship now. Yet there's something that pulls me to them and I understand why. I keep telling myself it's best I'm alone right now for I can figure out me. Then again it could be my hormones just being crazy and fucking with me. Well in any case I feel so hot for them it drives me crazy sometimes. I totally understand and know we'll never be together ever and over time they will just fade away maybe.

Okay as for other stuff going on... Couple days ago I showed up at work was full on girl makeup and posted a photo on Tumblr and Facebook. I made a lot of the guys very nervous and uncomfortable. To the point where one of my Sergeants had to talk to me about what was going on. He didn't know I was a trans girl. The needless to say the conversation was a bit awkward for him. But after I explained everything he was okay. Also I got a haircut well more like a trim . I asked a hairstylist to give me something more girl like but she didn't really understand me so all I got was the trim. I can totally feel like the missing hair. I know that sounds silly and crazy but it's totally true. There's days that drives me fucking crazy then there's like two inches missing and I know it. It'll grow back and I'll get used to it I'm just not there yet.

What else happened to me I bought my first sports bra. I'm very proud of myself for doing the research and figuring out what size I am because after all I do have breath..... and I'm not talking about man boobs. My doctor actually did a test to see if they were just like I said man boobs or if they were actual breasts and yeah they really are. She told me that I should have been wearing a bra since puberty. I did not even know that. So I went out and I got me a sports bra. And I actually like it. It feels more natural to me to have something like that on. I like the material I like the feel of it. I like the fact that it holds my girls in place. I've told my Queens about what I did... Some of them want me to start getting like other types of bras but my oldest sister she's like just stick with the sports bra you're just way too active. And I'm going to have to agree with her about that. I did try a couple other bras on which element and I do not like the feel of them. I'm just way too much of a tomboy to wear some of those other types of bras.

Then yesterday I went to the eye doctor and haven't been there in a couple. She years. The eye doctor said that my eyes are actually getting better and that I should start taking a special kind of vitamins to help my eyesight. I told her okay I will definitely do that. After the appointment is over I got some contacts which are so nice and comfortable... I so totally missed having contacts. Also got a pair of very girly cat looking glasses I absolutely love what they look like and once I get them I will be definitely taking a photo.

As far as day goes I get to meet my new counselor for the very first time I am so beyond nervous to meet her. I don't know how it's going to go I don't know which is going to want to talk about I just don't know and I'm so scared. I'm sure everything will be okay and I'm probably totally overthinking. The only thing I hope I don't do is cry. So after that is said and done I will probably write a blog about it.... I definitely know I'll write a blog about it. That would be everything that has happened in the last couple days. I've done so many different first this week. Just one more baby step after another baby step. I know at some point I will eventually get to my goal.

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[wildwizardcreation]

you have just reminded me that i have an insane need to see genuine fear and anxiety in scar’s eyes over something. need to see that man have a faun response, so scared he can’t move or speak, i would bust one in my pants

-mae

GODDDDD exactly exactly and idk how it would happen but I NEED it to happen on stream and/or during a con when he's 'on' or in his cc persona. Cause as much as the hermits are more like their real life selves than others, it's still a little bit of a show. I need scar to visibly struggle to try and keep the act up while genuinely distressed.

He has this very interesting habit of kinda leaning into being pathetic on camera if he knows it'll be a talking point on social media afterwards. I'm not sure if it's just Entertainment Instinct or a survival thing he picked up or if he's just Like That but either way, the audio problems stream is a perfect example. There's a couple of moments in the beginning where he starts to look genuinely worried/upset/distressed but as soon as he saw chat doing the equivalent of pointing and laughing at him he leaned into it WAY harder than anyone else would and made it take WAY longer to fix than if he just brbed and asked for help.

I neeeeed this to happen but for the problem to maybe be a little more serious than a stupid stream echo. Something that he can sit there and flail and whine about at first but something that has to be addressed at some point. Maybe when he finally asks for help and tries troubleshooting all the potential solutions continue to fail over and over, maybe his live viewer count starts dramatically dropping just because it's affecting the content that much, maybe his friends sound a tad more annoyed than usual. it hits him all at once and he has to fight back any instinct to freeze up and fall over dead and hope the problem magically disappears. smooth talking turning shaky and maybe trying to go on a 'haha classic scar' tangent and not being able to find the words. it's pathetic, a genuine pathetic that isnt like when he's farming woobifying posts from teenagers on twitter, he has to try and save face because no matter what, his stream is still live. It probably hasn't been that long either. Starting to panic about how long of a brb he'd have to take to calm down, would if even be worth it, should he just end, would people be mad at him afterwards, would he get scolded by his friends for not fixing the issue beforehand like an adult, etc.

[yonpote]

under cut cuz i talk too much lol

i am not blaming dan or anything (and obviously this has been a joke in lgbt spaces for forever) but i do think he unintentionally enabled the like "homophobia is a good thing actually" type jokes and like i definitely make them too, and im always seeing jokes on here like "god why are they Like This" etc. but i think some people just dont know the line or view them so much as friends that they don't think about how it could read differently from someone who is essentially a stranger. ive said smth similar before of like, dnp (ESP DAN...) used to be not great at drawing boundaries esp since youtube and social media culture were so different back then, but now even when they draw hard lines ppl either continue to step right over them, or dont understand exactly where the line goes. they dont care if u write smut or dead dove fics, they dont care if u make shippy fanart, but like maybe dont tag them in buttsecks? (or maybe do, idk theyre being so unhinged lately maybe we gotta start @'ing them in catboy porn (JOKING))

i was talking w a friend a little bit ago about the exact differences between the generally speaking philosophies between older fans and younger fans. it seems that older fans embrace creating transformative works and having their own interpretations on who dnp are, whereas younger fans want to know dnp on a personal level and want dnp to know Them and recognize them not just as fans but as people. and OFC there are older phannies who want the parasocial interaction and younger phannies who write fic and people who do neither, and people who do both! (hi :3) but then some people have a difficult time being able to marry the two ideas maybe?

heres the truth. dan and phil are real human beings who have made a career largely off their shared dynamic together, BOTH because they genuinely enjoy creating and being together AND because a lot of people really get invested in it and it makes them more money. they don't mind fic or art, you probably SHOULDNT tag them in the saucy stuff, but they know it's out there and generally have been respectful of fan spaces and knowing where OUR boundaries lie (altho maybe the line was toed w the roblox video but thats debatable.) they really do care about their audience both in order to please us and keep us coming back, AND because they see how much theyve affected us as people and have a deep *Sarapocial Relationship with us.

there are both parasocial AND tranformative ways to break boundaries, and oftentimes they can be one and the same. they aren't our friends they arent our dads and they arent objects with no feelings. they don't stalk our accounts but they are still able to see whatever we post publicly. theyve seen so many horrible things and have had many horrible things happen to them, and while no one can be certain something like that won't happen again, now that they have been able to be more honest with us about a lot of things they are able to trust us a little bit more.

anyway ramble over back to me talking abt how dan should embrace their transness