*looks at your tags* nice, nice—
PROSTETIC HEART?????
Sometimes you have an idea so so wild but with so much interesting thematic potential that you then have no choice but to try and figure out how to make it work 🤷♀️
Anyway 💅 still working on the how but basically the AU is as described: Branch's fleshy magic Troll heart is gone and in its place is a prosthetic one he made himself. Smth smth a Troll's music is their magic and their magic is their music and smth smth you can remove a Troll's magic by removing their heart (assuming they survive, which they normally wouldn't, but Branch is nice and insane and good at clinging onto life like that). So the AU focuses on the issues that arise from having a heart cobbled together from the materials he could find and the sort of disconnect from the world around him due to the loss of the heart he was born with. Again it doesn't make much sense but it's fun to think about so 🤷♀️
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Positivity moment y’all! My confidence, ability, and fun with dancing have improved so much since my surgery, and I think I may be finally to the point where I’m ready to share my choreography with people 😊
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i seriously think maybe covid DID do something to my brain, but it was ... somehow winding back the clock to the time when i cared about music??????
cut bc of personal rambling
like i haven't listened to the radio in YEARS
i used to be all up on everything popular music as much as i could in my teens (no internet) and then in my 20s i had subscriptions to spin and alternative press and i worked in a store where i could access rolling stone or billboard at will etc.
(this is after i went through a period of being desperately poor, so like the mid 90s was just radio i had no money)
but like in the last ten, fifteen years i had just gotten ... tired of everything i heard, couldn't be bothered to look for more music really. i still lived my favorites but i hadn't added more than maybe ten songs to my library (other than cdrama tracks lol) in as many years it seems like
and then for some reason last year i started picking up the occasional new song i liked again
maybe it's having a place to live where i can play music out loud? but i lived the the same place back when i enjoyed music and dancing around the apartment and then when i didn't ...
i really don't know, but this spring/summer i have downloaded and *listened to* more music in six months than in the last twenty years probably
stuff that i *could* have heard the first time around but only now am i interested - i just don't get it.
maybe the thing about covid messing with the brain and memory storage is right and for some reason it like, cleared the cache on my music storage in my brain and now there's more room?
like i am still incredibly picky and not all listening to like *everything* but i am still enjoying it a LOT
it's just weird for me personally to hear a song and go 'oh hey i LIKE that i need to hear it again' and i find i worry that my interest will just ... turn itself off again
so far though it is SO nice
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still reading stuff and it's putting into perspective how when times change advertising routes change. not everything is my cup of tea (tiktok/discord especially so) but i mean, the way i found gorillaz was from their 19-2000 game. surely that is oriented towards kids, even hewlett's own words from 2008 reflect that
so i keep this in mind while catching up
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I feel like I can understand the way Matt Bellamy’s brain works in terms of music creation.
It wouldn’t shock me at all if he ever came out and said that he just hears music in his head like almost all of the time or hears it if he closes his eyes.
Because as an artist I can close my eyes and see color combinations a lot. I close my eyes as I’m going to sleep and ideas just float across my proverbial vision so clearly. I can look at things irl and overlay or imagination “enhance” the colors of it. Make that blue a little more purple. Give that tan a pinkish tinge. Beautify the ordinary right in my head and almost nearly before my eyes.
And I think, had I been better at music, had I been able to learn to count music to have a more innate rhythmic understanding of the stuff that I’d be able to do the same thing with music because every once in awhile, I DO do that with music.
It’s rare. Really really rare. But every once in awhile I will wake up from a dream in which my brain magically composed a song out of nothing. A song that does not exist in the real world. And almost always slips away as I wake up but it’s there long enough for me to realize exactly what happened and it always astounds me because I certainly spent many years in music. Learning piano and playing in an orchestra, but I’ve always felt there’s something in me that is blocked in that department by just the way that my body, my being, IS. I’ve radically accepted that when numbers get involved in anything even in the simplest of ways, which to be sure, is an absolute when it comes to music even in an instinctual way, I am slightly disabled in the brain by it.
I practiced music a lot. I picked almost all of it up by ear, similar to the way he also learned. I can read music but I can’t really sight read. I can read the notes but I can’t read the rhythm until I hear it first. Rhythmic clapping exercises don’t tend to help me very much. And in playing in groups I do tend to come in a fraction of a second late, which is unnoticeable to almost anyone when you’re playing in groups.
Yet despite this disability I still chaired quite high in the upper level orchestra at our school. I qualified for the regional orchestra that had the best of the best in region (though in that department my disabilities placed me where I truly belonged. The back of second violin lol. I was simply too busy between school, dance practice and work to put in the practice needed to get up to that level with only four practice sessions before the performance which we played at the intended pace as the music was written. I was truly an imposter in my orchestra class that got away with a lot from my by ear talent. Fully admitted that.)
But knowing that my brain is, on a rare occasion, capable of creating full compositions like that- I feel like it MUST come as easily to someone like Matt Bellamy as colors come to me. Right?
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