#but my mom forcing me to go to grandparent’s house instead of letting me go home and take a napppp

[stealingpotatoes]

And I'll Go With You

Summary: After finding out about their long lost family, the Naberries invite Luke & Leia to the family home for a traditional Naboo dinner. Leia’s feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all.

(sequel to my pooja meets the twins comic that got too long (nearly 3k) and turned into a fic instead of a 2nd comic!!) -- [also on ao3!]

--

It wasn’t like Luke had been eating badly these past few months. Ever since the Rebellion had become the New Republic, rations had been swapped out for consistent, mostly-hearty meals. There were still battlefields and shoddy basecamps, of course, where the food primarily consisted of ration packs and whatever the base cooks could make with what they’d managed to get through battle lines. Yet those were slowly becoming the exception and not the rule, especially as Luke fell further into the ancient role of Jedi diplomat, helping Leia convince systems to join the New Republic. Battles in politics tended to mean fancy meals with too many people and food Luke couldn’t even begin to understand. Even moreso for him than most; politicians and the like were more than happy to offer their finest meals to the Jedi master who’d blown up the Death Star and supposedly defeated the Emperor. 

But none of that fine cheffery compared to the simple stomach-filling warmth of a home-cooked meal -- especially not a home-cooked meal prepared by his grandmother (he had one of those now!) for him, his sister, and their entire family. 

Luke looked around the Naberrie dining room, joy bubbling in his chest and stomach at the warmly-lit sight. Empty dishes and plates stretched across the long table, that had earlier been filled with all kinds of Naboo dishes Luke had never seen or tried before. At either head of the table, his grandparents sat laughing at something Ryoo, sitting by their grandmother, had just said. At Luke’s side, Leia was enraptured in a quiet conversation with their cousin and her old colleague, Pooja, that Luke imagined he wouldn’t understand even if he was listening. His aunt and uncle, Sola and Darred, were the only ones not seated, circling around the table and dilligently clearing up the wreckage of the family meal.

“Are you sure you don't want some help with that?” Luke asked Sola as she piled up another plate opposite him.  

“Really Luke, it’s alright,” she replied with a kind smile.

Luke half expected an assertion that he was their guest to follow, but none came. The blank space left a sunny feeling in his chest; he wasn’t a guest here, he was family. Completely and utterly welcome, as if he’d been a part of that family his whole life, and not as of a few days ago. 

He was so wrapped up in the small joy that he almost didn’t notice Leia’s quiet excuse me, before she gently placed her napkin down on the table and gracefully got up to leave the dining room. 

Luke doubted the Naberries thought anything of it -- Leia’s years of politics made her far too good at hiding her emotions to let them do otherwise. She was so good that even the strongest of force users might not have been able to sense it through her mental and expressive shields. But Luke was not any old strong force user; he was Leia's twin, and so her secret turmoil blared in his head like a whirring attack alarm. 

He cleared his throat and excused himself too, not sticking around to field anyone’s quick questions (though knowing he should’ve). He wound through the love-filled house, following his senses and memory of the tour they’d been given earlier to reach the starlike presence of his sister. He passed through only two short hallways, both’s walls were filled to the brim with memories he’d never known. Holos of his young cousins, of Sola and Darred on their wedding, and of a brown-haired woman Luke wished he’d known as mom. He’d learn every story behind each of the pictures and keepsakes, some day. 

He reached the back garden door -- a light, wooden thing, as ornately simple as the rest of the house -- and stepped into the early night. 

The garden was hardly cold, but the sudden coolness compared to the hearth-warmth of the house bit at Luke. He stared up for a moment. Three moons hung white in the sky, painting the white house walls and the green of the garden in blueish moonlight. It was strange how it reminded him of home and yet was so different. Tatooine too had three moons, though all it did was turn golden sand a deep, colourless blue or silver. Never the friendly blue of Naboo’s.

Shaking himself from the thought, he easily spotted his sister standing cross-armed in front of a neat, flowery maybe-vegetable patch. Her white, Naboo-style dress with puffy sleeves and a many-layered skirt stood out against the dark of the moonlit garden as if it were a small, fourth moon itself. 

Leia had bought the dress shortly before their diplomatic trip to Naboo for any formal dinners they would be invited to as a part of their Republic negotiations with the Naboo. It was, apparently, very strategically important to acknowledge the culture of those you wished to diplomatise with -- even if Luke and his poor galactic fashion knowledge thought the dress looked no different from any of her Alderaanian dresses. He supposed it was lucky he got to wear his Jedi robes everywhere. 

“Hey,” Luke started, stepping up beside her, careful not to get his boots too close to the pristine flowers. 

Leia smiled up at him, almost hiding her sorrowful expression. “Hi.” 

She glanced back at the windows of the house, where warm, orange light diffused out across the neatly cut lawn, not quite reaching their night-blue patch of the garden. “You didn’t need to come out here for me,” she half-apologised. “It’s cold, you should get back to dinner.” 

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” 

Leia opened her mouth, but quickly closed it, as if realising I’m fine was a useless excuse to your brother who could sense your emotions. “You didn’t have to do that.” 

“You’re my sister, yes, I do,” Luke smiled with a slight shake of his head. After a breath, e leaned down slightly, trying to better enter Leia’s pointed-down sightline. “Hey, if you want to leave, I’m sure we can come up with some urgent New Republic excuse.” 

Leia was the far better liar, but Luke had the added advantage of being one of the only Jedi in the galaxy. If Leia didn’t come up with some political excuse, Luke could always make something up about the force that nobody could refute. 

Luke shrugged. “We’ve been here half the day, anyway, I’m sure they won’t take it personally if we miss one last course. There’ll be other--” 

“No, no, I want to stay,” Leia shook her head with a sure furrow of her brow. “Really, I just needed some air. I don’t-- I can’t leave this.” 

Luke nodded, hoping she didn’t notice how thankful he was that he didn’t have to go. 

“It’s a nice night to be out.”

“Mm. Naboo’s temperature is quite agreeable,” Leia said, her voice growing politically hollow. 

What were they doing, talking about the weather like they were at some stunted party? Luke wanted to say Leia, we both know I’m bad at this not-talking-about-feelings thing, please just tell me what’s on your mind, but he knew his sister well enough to know a brute-force question like that wouldn’t get much out of her. He needed to wait and let her talk on her own terms. So Luke left a gentle space in the air between them, one that Leia could fill when she was ready. Only quiet night birds and the faint rustle of garden trees were so brave as to interrupt it. 

“Maybe I came out here for more than air…” Leia mumbled, predictably rewarding the silence after some long moments. “It's only that they’re so… I don’t know how to say this.” 

“It’s okay, you can say whatever it is,” he managed through the slight panic entering his mind. Did Leia not like their new family? But they were so nice! They were perfect! 

Clearly noticing the worry knotted in his brow, Leia held her hands up. “No, no, it’s nothing against them. It’s barely even about them as people, it’s just…” 

Luke only watched for her continuation, aware all he could do was try to project his own comfort through the force.

Leia forced a deep breath in and out, clenching her eyes shut for a short moment. “When I lost Alderaan, I lost everyone. I lost my father, my mother-- anyone I’d so much as briefly considered family. I had nobody to call my own. Nobody. And I thought that was going to be it, forever. I thought that I would never have any family ever again.” 

“But then,” a smile crept onto Leia’s lips as she gave Luke a short glance, “you came blasting into my life and you told me about everything, and suddenly I had family-- I had a brother!”

“Blasting is a bit of a strong word…”

Leia levelled him a raised eyebrow. “Is there a weaker word you think fits better, then?”

Luke huffed out a chuckle, remembering how quickly their first meeting had devolved into a blaster fight and a narrow escape of death. “I guess blasting works.”

Leia let out a quiet sigh, her presence brightening. “And suddenly it’s not just you, it’s our grandparents, our aunt, our uncle, our cousins, and it’s all…” Leia trailed off. 

Luke nodded slowly. 

Finding the Naberries had been very different for the two of them, but only now did he appreciate the true difference in what their new family meant for them both. 

He’d had little cause to think of what new family meant to the two of them before, given how easily she accepted Luke as her brother, and how resolutely she refused to accept Vader as her father. Luke had thought it was so simple; that it was just Luke was good in her eyes, Vader was not. He saw now that it ran deeper than just Vader’s evil. 

Luke loved his aunt and uncle, but they’d never claimed to be his parents. They had always left room for Luke to long for a mother and father, to dream of the people they never spoke about. He had despised the reality of his father at first, but come to accept that while Vader was not the father he dreamed of, he was Luke’s father nonetheless. However awkwardly he had filled that lifelong gap.

To Leia, Vader was not only a villain, but an invasive species. A predator, encroaching on the still-sore memory of Bail and Breha Organa. He could not be her father; that position belonged solely and permanently to Bail and nobody else. Vader would only ever be relegated to a ‘birth father’ -- and that was only on days that Leia felt particularly merciful. 

The Naberries, on the other hand, didn’t stand to replace anyone. Padmé Amidala, their mother (force, that was weird to think), may have stood too close to Breha’s position -- but Luke suppose finding out your birth mother was your childhood hero and a founder of the rebellion was very different to finding out your parent was the Emperor’s genocidal attack dog. And even then, she was gone now. She could play little part other than a puzzle piece and a forgotten memory; she did not threaten to take a dead parent's place like the living Vader had once done. 

The rest of the Naberries were purely happy additions to their family. There was no limit to how many aunts and uncles and cousins you would have, and neither twin had ever had grandparents before. Their family had become so full and so big with only a chance meeting of Leia’s old Senate colleague Pooja (and some intervention from an unsettling resourceful woman named Sabé). It had all happened so fast, and it was so wonderful… and so easily overwhelming. 

Even Luke struggled to get his mind over all the sudden expansions to his once-thought-gone family, and his grief over two family members and strange hermit mentor was hardly comparable Leia’s planet-sized grief. He knew it wasn’t, because he had felt the difference for himself, every time she saw a certain plant or a heard a certain phrase. Such little things would bombard their force-bond with the soul-crushing grief that had hit Leia out of seeming nowhere. 

Luke stretched the force out to Leia now, focusing on her shields as uninvasively as he could. Her heavy mantle of grief lay near-dormant, at least, but it was still present in the back of her mind. 

Leia glanced up at him from the flowers, perhaps sensing his search despite her lack of training. If she did, she made no comment. 

Luke put his flesh hand on her shoulder. 

Leia delicately rested her own hand on it, bringing her eyes to firmly meet his. “I am okay. It’s just… it’s…” Leia -- the princess whose educated words never faltered, the general who could muster the greatest of speeches out of thin air -- stuttered.

“It’s a lot to deal with,” Luke offered. 

Leia gave him a nod. 

“But you're not dealing with it alone,” he said, turning around to face Leia in full. After a moment of quiet staring up, she turned to face him too. “I know this isn't all quite the same for me. I know it’s… a different kind of difficult. Still, I’m here. I’m always here for you. And I’m sure all of them are too,” Luke said with a nod back to the house. 

Leia hummed in agreement-acknowledgement.

“I don't think they're expecting you -- expecting either of us -- to be completely and suddenly okay with this. I’m sure it’s almost as much for them as it is for us. But they're our family. We may not know each other very well yet, but they already love us so much.”

Luke knew it so certainly; he could sense all the Naberries’ love for the twins, as strong as the heat of the suns on a Tatooine noon. Mottled by cloudy grief in places, but always oh-so present. It radiated off each of them in waves whenever Luke and Leia were around. 

“I think I’m just trying to say it’s okay,” Luke concluded, losing steam in his speech. “However you’re feeling now, it’s gonna be okay.” 

Silence drifted between them, entirely comfortable and nothing like the eager, questioning one Luke had left earlier.

“Thank you,” Leia smiled finally.

Luke shook his head. “It’s nothing.” 

“No, really, thank you. I don’t think I say it enough, but I love you Luke. I’m-- thank you. For being my brother.” 

Before Luke could even think of replying, Leia crashed into him, wrapping her arms around his robes and shoving her face into his shoulder. Luke caved into the hug, pulling his arms tight around his sister in return. 

“I love you too,” he replied softly. 

They stayed like that for a good few moments, fused together like twin stars, basking in each other’s presence as if they truly were so. The galaxy seemed so utterly at peace in the garden around their tight-armed cradling, like it had never faced a single war or fight, like Luke and Leia had always been one and never been ripped apart by the tragedy of circumstance. 

Luke sensed Pooja’s presence -- joyous, if a little timid -- before he heard her treading over the grass towards him and his twin. The two of them pulled apart to face Pooja at the same time, arms still half-pressed together. 

Pooja came to a slow stop as they did, standing still in the bright square of warm window-light. It painted the the cream of her dress a loving orange and made her half-up curls near-glow with its source behind her. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt…” she started serenely, half-smiling at her cousins standing shoulder-to-shoulder in the blue near-dark. 

Leia shook her head, moving towards Pooja. “We were just about to come back in anyway.” 

Pooja brightened, bringing her hands to an almost-clap. “Perfect timing! I came to tell you Grandma’s about to serve up dessert. It’s cake, her speciality.” 

“Sounds wonderful,” Luke’s mouth watered at the thought of more of Jobal Naberrie’s cooking, despite the protests from his already-full stomach. 

“Not as wonderful as it tastes. Now come on!” Pooja over-gestured. “If we don't hurry, Ryoo will have eaten all of it before we get there!”

Leia laughed with all the gentle warmth of the Naboo sun. “We’re coming Pooja, don't worry!”

They followed their hurried cousin back to the nearby door, forming a line as they reached the portico of the entrance.

“I'm so happy we found you both,” Pooja admitted quietly as she held the door open for her cousins. The two of them stepped back into gentle embrace of the family home, something sweet hanging in the warm air. 

Leia gave Luke a quick glance before she turned to Pooja; “I’m happy we found you too.”

[keeloves]

Rewatching Girlfriends

I am rewatching Girlfriends with my boyfriend because he has never seen it. Honestly I am having a hard time getting through it because it's full of toxicity, mean spiritedness and black women/biracial women suffering in some way shape or form and any time they come close to catching Wins the rug gets yanked out from under them. The love interests on this show are trash in someway shape or form. Some are okay but man they were just blah. Oh and all four girls are toxic. Let's start with Lynn Lynn Ann Searcy, the woman with five degrees, the most educated out of the four Girlfriend. All those degrees and she didn't want to find a job or those degrees to good use. She instead spent eight years being a bum, living off of Joan for the most part, then she lived out of Maya's mom garage with her bum boyfriend from Jamacia then lived at the house William bought and didn't get a job until she was absoutely forced too. She was a bum and slept around becasue she viewed as freedom. All of Lynn's love interests were annoying or just seemed pompus. You had Basco the bum from Jamacia, who was happy living out of Maya's mom's garage, William who agreed to be her sex partner for a little a while which he apparently was very bad at sex because Lynn rated him a four out ten. YIKES. Then there was Sivad who was celibate for five years. Fun fact the actor who played Sivad was married to Persia White aka the actress who played Lynn. Now let's talk about the way Lynn comes close to catching wins but ends up suffering. She meets her birth mom who is white, they plan to make a documentary together. Things are going well for Lynn she finally meets her birth mom they have big plans to make a documentary together then boom her mom bails and doesn't have the funds. It turns out her mom has bipolar disorder, and her white bio grandparents are racist. She finds all this out when she tracks down where her mom is.Anyway Lynn ends up making a successful documentary on the epidemic of AIDS in the black community. She could have been really great at that and worked in the film industry. No she just up and quit that, then she had music. She struggles in that as well. She had several degrees, great at music and film and she just flopped super hard. By the time she does get successful its in season 8 and it's cancelled. Lynn also was very bad at being a bus girl too and that's not a hard job at all. Now let's move on to Maya. Maya Denise Wilks, teen mom at the age of 17, and has been with her baby daddy since then. He technically cheated on her by letting a woman named Cecily feed him strawberries. Now don't go saying that it was an innocent lunch because no innocent lunch consists of a woman who is not your wife feeding you strawberries so yes Darnell cheated first. Maya ends up cheating on Darnell but before I get into that let's talk about Maya and how she was toxic. This woman barely did her job, she was either always late, because she was getting her hair done or just gossipping. Even when she was at work she spent a majority of her time gossipping or being up in Joan and William's business or she was sharing someone else's business. Joan let her get away with this crap. Now let's talk about Maya's Stalker Stan. Now I can understand why she cheated with Stan, Darnell was struggling to make ends meet, he is super insecure, he feels emasuculated by his wife and he kept holding her back.I mean Darnel yelled at Joan for buying her a watch when it was Stan and he completely acted a fool however he didn't know it was Stan who bought the watch but still that was not the time and place to do that. It just showed me how insecure he was and I completely understand why she cheated. Now let's talk about Maya's multiple love interests, starting off with Stalker Stan. He was handsome, had a great job with money and served as great emotional support. He validated her feelings, and she felt appreiciated. I can completely understand why she cheated on Darnel with Stan. No she didn't sleep with him but she made out with him. I really wish she would have confessed, and stop seeing Stan and owned her mistake but no, he is got come and stak her, be up in her house eating her food and hanging out with her husband. On top of that she gets caught by leaving an accidental message and Darnel kicking her out. He got to get away with cheating while Maya suffered hard for it. Then she had Toni's twin brother as an option, the first version of Antwone, had a promising career, he was going to med school and he was so great. Then he comes back played by Darius McCrary, and he locks himself in Maya's bathroom and sings. She also had that hot handsome baseball player. That man spoiled her, pampered her and showed her how she should be treated. Of course he wouldn't let her into this one party. Eventually her and Darnell get back together, they move into a nice new house and he gets his dream job at a Pit Crew for NASCAR. No it's not local to their new home, it's in Florida. He is getting paid well and could we leave it at that have him be happy? Nope he hates the long distance, he hates his new job and he his miserable. They try to have another which Darnel wants but he lies and says he doesn't because it's easier for him to quit the pitcrew. He confesses and when they finally get successful at being pregnant Maya has a miscarriage and takes almost a whole bottle of pills. It's like one struggle one after another. Anitonette Marie Childs Garret aks Toni Childs" poor country girl from Fresno, who had a twin brother and two sisters. She grew up with an alcholic mother and didn't come from much. She is also childhood friends with Joan until the last epiosode of season 6. Anyways, Toni studied hard, made it out of Fresno and refused to be poor. She started her own realistate business and had a "Never Going Back to Fresno Fund". Toni is smart, beautiful, driven and knows what she wants. Just to clear somethings up, I don't thnk Toni is a gold digger, she is a woman who wants financial security but of course she has like the rest of the girlfriends to struggle. She is also very stuck up, full of herself and really acted like a victim when she was in the wrong. She had Greg her poor artist boyfriend, who she loved and who loved her but it wouldn't quite work because of his life style vs her's then there was Clay the rich doctor with assets, he was handsome rich and perfect for Toni. Oh turns out that rich doctor gave her chlamydia. She gaslit Greg into thinking he had it and he didn't. Joan accidentally spilled the beans about her cheating and then she slaps Joan and tries to seduce Shawn the sex addict. Greg gets back at her by faking having sex in her appartment. Yeesh that was harsh. Then everytime Toni had a man with money something went wrong, first she meets a beautiful rich black man he has everything she wants, assets money and a good business but he is too dark for her taste. Her reasoning is that if she had a daughter with him, she would hear "You're pretty for a dark skin girl". That makes sense but its so sad. Then we hear about the time Joan called Toni a Tar Baby when they were children. Then she dates a little bit. She meets Todd and oh lord she was not good to him but they had cute bantar. He flat out lied to her about his fiances and kept the fact Greg called a seceret before the wedding because he wanted her to himself. They have a daughter Morgan. However even her pregnancy was drama Todd didn't beleive her and she acted like Joan which was desperate and begging for a man back. She couldn't even have a nice wedding because Joan was busy picking a fight with Ellis. The custody battle was a mess and it totally started because Toni missed Morgan's first check up. Some believe Toni had post partum and I agree with that assessment. During the custody battle she does a pannel for successful black women, and she meets a new woman named Tammy. Things are going great until Tammy sets her up to be car jacked and Toni gets rightfully angry, and punches that bitch. Then Toni winds up in jail which puts her in jeapordy. This is what leads to peremanantly end the friendship between Joan and Toni if you can even call it that. Yes Joan has a lot of things against her but let's recap all the things Toni did to Joan, the very first episode Toni brought Joan's ex boyfriend as her date to Joan's birthday party, she slapped Joan in Jamacia after she accidentally spilled the beans about Toni's engagement to Clay. Was the bitch slap enough nope Joan then walks in on Toni trying to seduce Shawn the sex addict. Toni told Joan's boss her business and when Joan finally cuts her off Toni tries to manipulate Joan back into friendship. Toni was given a free pass to be a bitch and I didn't care for that at all. Yet the same grace wasn't really given to Joan. However we will get to Joan later because whew lord I have a lot to say about her. Toni does get better over the seasons especially when she becomes a mom to Morgan. However, no matter how you look at it Joan's and Toni's friendship was toxic from both ends. Now let's talk about Joan. Joan Carol Clayton also small town girl from Fresno, childhood friends with Toni Childs. Joan was a successful lawyer and at a high end law firm, was the only one who had assets, as in a house a good job. She was the "mom' friend of the group, she let her friends stay at her house, such as Lynn who stayed with her for 8 years, then she let Maya stay with her when she was kicked out after she cheated on Darnell and then again when Maya and Darnell's new house was being rentovated. She loved hosting parites, having game nights at her house. She eventually decides to quit being a lawyer and open up a resturant. I have mixed emotions about it on one hand I was sad becuase she could have made a great lawyer and it just felt they wanted to give her an out. On the other hand it's understandable because you think you're doing a job you love and maybe you realize you did the job to please someone and Joan loves to throw parties so her opening up a restruant makes sense. Joan has a lot going for her but honestly she is passive aggressive, she is jealous and I think she actually gets off on being needed and having to comfort someone. She can't stand when others are happy. First she acted like an agregious classist ass snob over Maya's taste and called it ghetto. Joan then makes it right by wearing the dress. Then when things are going great for Toni and Toni's about to get married Joan becomes a mess, she leaves in the middle of the engagment speech, she picks a fight with Ellis during Toni's engagment and wedding. She can't handle the fact that Toni is getting her dream wedding. Toni gets so damn pissed that she cuts up Joans dress. Joan couldn't even tell Toni she looked great whike she was trying on wedding dresses. Joan also has a tendency to make jabs at others when things aren't her way, like when she kept throwing shade at Maya's new house or when she kept throwing shade at her party. These antics on why she can't keep a man. First she had toe sucking Charles who didn't work out because she kept pushing the man for kids and marriage. Then a year later he is ready for those things and she got mad at him. Then there was Marcus but they didn't work becuase he had girly hips which was something Joan couldn't get past, then there was sex addict Shawn, who kept giving her ulimatum of being together or moving to New York. He then comes back and says he is engaged but turns out he was not he just didn't want to be in a relationship with Joan. During this time Joan started dating Chris but he is younger, and it makes her feel self concious. While dating him Joan accidentally too ecasty thinking it was a mint. She treats Chris like crap becasue she is still hung up on Shawn. Joan was a sheer distaster in the love area, she got with a 72 year old man which probably was her best sex, she had Derek who I thouhgnt was good for her but she had the basketball player and that other dude who was a dweeb. Yet she dumps Derek and that Dweeb for the star Basketball player. She then gets shut down by the basket ball player. She treated Derek like trash, she said she loved him when she didn't and slept with him to get her promotion. Then she acted shocked when he wanted nothing to do with her and he dragged her for filth. She cheated on Ellis with his manager. He was perfect but he didn't want kids which was a deal breaker for her. Then he comes back when she breaks up with Aarron momentarily. Now let's talk about Aarron, he is handsome he is a teacher but he lives in a small worn down apartment with one bathroom. I was so disappointed in the fact Aarron was poor. The first episode of season 8 was Joan even throwing it in his face that he doesn't make as she puts "Head of the household money" but Joan can't just can't let things go. Joan is so used to walking all over the men she dates and Aarron is the one man who refuses to let Joan walk all over him. Joan is probably equally as toxic as Toni in comparison hell season 6 she got so full of herself that she kept blowing off her friends in their time of need which given what we have seen prior seasons I can understand why. However, her missing Toni's hearing becasue she was busy getting wasted was inexusable but the things Toni has done to Joan I can understand why Joan would miss it but still ouch. The custody hearing was the thing that broke the cammel's back. Even the black women who were reccuring or one off characters have to suffer in some way. Yvonne, gorgeous cop woman, motivated driven and smart, her entire relationship with William was her suffering and losing herself. She got shot, William then pressures her to quit her job. He hulimates her with his mom and to make matters worse he hires Mrs. Dabney (Don't know the actresses name) to be his pretend mom. They wanted us to believe that light bright mixed looking woman gave birth to that full on black man? Yvonne was right to leave William's ass at the alter. Then there was Monica, starts off a snobby rich woman, her mom is a total bitch, cuts her off financially and her dad has late stages of dementia. Alicia and Ray the black couple that Maya and Darnel meet at Chile's and Maya suspects Alicia is being abused. People don't believe her until they hear for themselves. Turns out Alicia was being abused by her husband Ray. Now let's talk about William. Prior to Alisha, and Monica there was Kimberly Elise's character who was Joan's college friend. She screwed around with Joan's boyfriends and contracted AIDS she showed up for two episodes and was in Lynn's documentary and then she died from the complication from AIDs shortly after. William is considered the fifth girlfriend of the group and a fan favorite of many. He is a succesful lawyer at a high end law firm, has great assets and has the set up to be a good husband. However, his humor is dated, and he has "Nice Guy Syndrome" he thinks he is entitled to sex just because he has been nice to the girls which is why he had no problem having sex with Lynn. He treated Yvonne like trash, he wouldn't introduce her to his mother, he refused to set a date for the wedding,he didn't consult her about buying the house, yes she wanted it but I know women personally who didn't like a house their husband bought prior to them being engaged just simply because they didn't have a say in the house. He forced her to quit her job. When he does introduce her to his mom that woman is an actress he hired to play his mom. WTF. He treated Monica like crap too now granted it Monica was a bit manipulative but he broke her heart twice and did anything to win her back and he still treated her like trash. I mean his speech at his and Monica's wedding I probably would have left his ass too. William is an okay character to me but my boyfriend hates him. I didn't like Darnell but I did after him and Maya got back together. Overall that is my think piece on Girlfriends and I think a few changes could be made or maybe a reboot that is simular but take out the awful humor or more so dated humor.

[ofdarkestdesires]

This may not be the best place to put this, but despite my follower count being decently high (thanks porn bots /s) this blog is honestly pretty under the radar and a lot of my personal posts get ignored, so let me just vent for a bit.

Christmas was so good, but it was also so, so exhausting, and it is precisely because of two forces—my sister, and my grandparents.

For context, I have three sisters—let’s call them Thing 1, Thing 2, and the Grinch (just because I wanted to play up the Seuss theme). Thing 1 and Thing 2 are the ones I’m closest to—they’re dorky nerds just like me, and one of them is really good at animatics (if you’re interested, you can find her stuff under becky_weber on YouTube). But the Grinch and I were always a bit more at odds with each other. I’m the oldest, she’s the second, there’s barely less than two years between us, it comes with the territory.

Anyways, as far as the Grinch goes, Christmas time was alright…aside from the fact that she spent most of it on her phone calling up her boyfriend, chatting with him, texting him, and otherwise being curled up on the couch far away from the rest of us. She even left the after-dinner games early so she could FaceTime with him, instead of spending time with her family.

Mind you, the Grinch is already spending all of her free time with the boy. They’ve moved in together—with roommates, but still—and it has been implied that though she has a separate room she shares his bed instead, but even before that she’d spend every chance she got hanging out with him. What few times she came to visit the family, she is always on her phone texting him, or leaving early so she can spend time with him.

And even now, on Christmas—even in the middle of the gift exchange that was meant to be a nice little private family tradition—she not only called up but FaceTimed the boyfriend for a good chunk of the morning. I just…I know I shouldn’t throw stones when I’m perhaps the least qualified man to talk on relationships (me being an ace man and all), but can’t she go one day, one very special, family-centric day, without clinging to his messages like a hopeless little puppy?

Anyways, that’s my sister, and that’s an ongoing form of frustration. My grandparents, though, are another story.

More context, and we’re gonna need to turn the tone down a bit. Two years ago, my grandma was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s—and by the sounds of the tests, she’d been going through Alzheimer’s for a while already, but my grandpa had been putting off taking her to get checked because “it’s just old age, you get forgetful in old age.” Which, yeah, you do…but you typically don’t forget what your grandchildren and children look like.

My grandpa is a very proud man, too proud one might say so I’ll say it here and now. He doesn’t like the idea of not being able to handle something on his own, and he won’t admit needing help. He also lives in a house that’s larger than my childhood home, in the middle of the nowhere part of Utah, and refuses to move because it means giving up his big home, downsizing into a smaller place, and giving up all of the many, many things he has.

My grandpa is a lover of things, you see. One may even call him a hoarder of things which I will here and now.

All this is just set up to explain the shock we all had when my mom got a message from her brother, who had brought his family up to spend Christmas with the grandparents, telling her that my grandma had had a seizure during the gift-opening process. Seizures are apparently a part of late-stage Alzheimer’s, as the disease eats away at the motor-control section of the brain, and as it turns out this is not the first time this has happened.

It’s the first time we’ve heard of it, though, and only because my uncle and his family were at the house to witness it. Which means my grandpa has been understating how my grandma’s been doing, and giving false accounts to the doctors for my grandma, because he doesn’t want to admit it’s getting to be too much for him…or that his Jo is slipping away from him.

It’s…it’s sad.

It’s sad, but it’s also so…infuriating. I hesitate to say this, but I hate my grandpa. I hate him for the man that he is, the proud, selfish, stubborn man he is that refuses to sell his massive house that’s so big he can’t even keep it clean, who snubs his nose at the concept of moving to the city into a smaller home, who willfully obfuscates the truth about my grandma and unwittingly gatekeeps her from care and attention that could help her.

Again, they live in the middle of nowhere Utah. My family is a good two and a half hour drive away from them, and I’m a good three hour drive. If something happens—if she has another seizure, a bad one, or a fall, or she tries to run off because she doesn’t know who my grandpa is—they don’t have the high-end medical attention readily available to them, and it’ll take hours for us to get to them too! If they were closer, everyone could feel a bit more at ease, but as it is…

…I genuinely don’t know what day will be the day my mom calls and tells me my grandma died. And when it happens, nothing in my mind will be able to stop my heart from hating my grandfather for letting her waste away and perish so far away.

I love my family, I truly do…but gods, some days really let me see the parts of them that are the worst.

[silelda]

Was trying to look up some family information and got stopped, dead in my tracks, by a news article about my family that left me torn between laughing and screaming.

Note/Trigger Warnings: Abuse, Foster care

My grandparents were foster parents for over 50 kids in their time on top of having 4 kids of their own, who were grown by the time they started fostering. My grandfather was a pastor of a non-denominational church. So, of course, the news article is spun to be a “wholesome christian couple”.

What got me was a quote from my grandmother, “Working with the children is just a natural with us --- it always has been”. Let me tell you, that was

The levels of abuse my mother and siblings went through was disgusting. They nearly died on more than one occasion. My mom had irreparable brain damage by the time she was 5! The only one of her siblings who might have any kind of mental stability or health is the one who ran away to California as a teenager! They purposefully abused their own children and then they brought in foster kids.

You know who took care of the foster kids? My mom. When she had to move back home after dropping out of college. And again, when my dad forced us to move back. My aunt, who suffered from such extreme anxiety, she could barely leave the house. My grandmother sat on her ass ALL DAY. She barely ever interacted with the foster kids.

After I was born, we lived literally next door to them. Mom was expected to help out with all of the foster kids and her own kids. That place was practically my second home. And let me tell you, I will never forget that stench. The creatures in the walls. How everything was treated as normal, including the fact that there were never any less than 5 foster kids at any one time.

The kids at my grandparents’ house were feral. They had been through serious emotional if not physical trauma. They needed love and care. They needed attention. They needed comfort. Instead, they got a shit ton of noise, chaos, and what few adults could help were too drained to do so at the levels these kids needed.

So when I read that quote from my grandmother about how it was natural for her and grandpa to work with kids, my brain kinda short-circuited. Especially since she genuinely believed it. She likely died believing she did nothing wrong. That she did take care of all of those kids.

I don’t really know how/where to go with this. I just really, really needed to get it out of my brain.

Please be kind to one another and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

[hdmiwire]

making “i” statements

wc: 3296, lightly proofread, the finished draft of that thing i posted earlier

I sit in the car, listening to the patter of rain on the roof, trying to decide if I actually want to go in or not. Sure, this Lincoln Log cabin on a hill is my house, but these days it's hard to consider it home. A more hopeful person might say "Oh Maddy, home is where the heart is," but I don't think my heart has been here, not since I was very young. If I go in that house, my Mother will be there, there's no doubt about that, seeing that her beat-up Dodge Minivan is sitting in front of me right now.

The house itself is no problem, every inch of it is covered in yellow - my grandmother's signature color. The house is hers, no doubt, built decades before my mother was even born by my great-grandparents, along with the family's diner Magnolia's. Both places have always been home for me, even more so when my mother isn't around.

Leaning on the green plush-covered steering wheel, I exhale a breath that I've been holding for the last twenty years.  I close my eyes, running over my options: option one, go inside; option two, go back to Magnolia's; option three -

A series of knocks on my window startles me out of my thoughts. My hand flies to my chest in hopes of keeping my heart behind my ribs while I roll down my window to the signature sound of my grandmother's laugh - a honeysuckle-sweet melody.

"So jumpy, Madds! Get'cha scrawny self in this house and help me with supper ."

Her giggles slowly fade as she pulls my door open, making my choice for me. With a groan, I grab my bag out of the passenger seat and finally force my feet onto the ground, her umbrella keeping the warm brown leather of my boots safe from the cold winter droplets. We walk arm-in-arm up the gravel drive, not in any rush to remove ourselves from the familiar woodsy surroundings.

Inside, I sit down on the plush, yellow ottoman to unlace my boots, briefly absorbing the warmth from the crackling cherrywood in the fireplace. The couch holds evidence that Mags was lounging in here for some time before I got home, her blanket tossed to the side and crochet hook long forgotten, yellow yarn still wrapped around it. The sight brings a small smile to my face, but Mags doesn't let me lounge for long, calling me to the kitchen.

"Terrance brought by some fresh chicken, so we outta take some supper by his wife in the morning. I heard that the little ones sick again, she could use it."

"Mhm. I'll take it on my way out."

And that's it. The two of us fall back into our usual routine, working in a dance-like rhythm around the small kitchen, with a backing track of boiling water and knives on wood. It's always nice like this, before Mom interrupts the peace. It's a wonder she hasn't come downstairs yet, but based on the silence in the house, I can almost guarantee that Mags told her what-for before I got home. Good, the bitch needs to be humbled sometimes.

I'm chuckling to myself at the thought of my grown-ass mother upstairs sulking in her bedroom when my phone chimes - an email. I set down the knife I was using to chop potatoes and rinse my hands before picking it up, knowing it's probably just another rejection letter from an influencer's management team. I look down at the screen and - oh shit!

"Oh shit! Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!"

My eyes go wide and I can feel my heart beating in my throat. Everything around me seems to be moving in slow motion as I read the subject line over and over a million times: "Welcome to F.I.T., Madison!"

Mags jumps, hand flying to her chest, "Maddy! What is it, what's all that hollering for?"

I can't even form words, my hands flap around wildly while I try to show her the email, shoving my phone in her face instead. She takes the phone from my hand and pulls her wire-frame glasses down to her eyes. A beat passes of me pinching my own cheeks while she reads, really hoping this isn't one of those times where I'm dreaming again.

As she processes what the email says, a grin spreads across her face and she screams, "My god girl! Would you look at you!"

She tosses my phone on the counter and I jump at her, wrapping my arms around her neck and letting tears of relief and joy fall. After all these years of dreaming and scrimping and saving and portfolio building and it's finally real. It's finally happening, all I have to do is get there, which is the easy part.

A feigned cough disrupts my joy - Marie. Good, just what I need. Mags and I separate ourselves, her humming while she returns to the soup and me rubbing tears from my eyes with the heels of my hands. Mom is holding my phone, a scowl on her face while she reads the notice of my freedom from her.

"You're not going. End of story," is all she has to say before dropping my phone back on the counter. She's never wanted me to get out of Blairsville, even when I was a kid, and wanted to go with my dad when they separated, but she couldn't have that, couldn't let him "win" me. Usually, I wouldn't let this bother me - I'd ignore her and go up to my room like I have for the last ten years - but this time is the last - and I do mean last - time I'm going to let her treat me like this. I sniff and cross my arms, fists clenched under my armpits; I may not want her to think she's going to win this one, but I have to keep a level head. My blood is boiling, and I can feel the heat rising up my neck as I run through a million options of what I could - no - what I should say.

She's standing across the small island from me, staring me down. Her eyes shift to just above my right eye, just for a split second, to the patch of white hair that, no doubt, reminds her of my father, and makes her blood boil as much as mine is now. I almost pity the bitch - keyword almost - with one signature she lost her best friend and husband, and she was stuck with a living, breathing reminder of the person she hated most in this world: me.

Suddenly, I'm struck by all twenty years of pent-up emotions toward her, and can only think of one thing to say:

"Fuck you, Marie. Just fuck you."

I snatch my phone up and make a beeline for the stairs, rapidly dialing my dad's number and hoping to get to my room before more, less happy, tears spill from my eyes. I lock my door while the phone rings, trying to steady my breath so I can talk to him calmly.

The phone stops ringing, and at first, it's just the sounds of a New York subway, and momentarily I wonder if I'm interrupting his evening.

"My girl, my girl, my favorite girl! Something must be wrong, you never call your father."

Through his southern twang, I can practically hear the raise of his white eyebrow, and can't help but giggle at his apt observation of me - I really do hate phone calls. Phone calls with my dad, however, have always been my favorite.

"You know I always call you old man, besides, your wife is being a bitch again."

The last part comes out in a huff as I flop backward onto my bed, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars I stuck on the ceiling forever ago. On the phone, he clicks his tongue at me in disapproval, and I can just imagine him shaking his head, thick black locs swaying with the movement.

"Madison you ought watch what you say, she's your mother. And that can't be the only reason you called, so spill."

Unfortunately, he's right - I may not like her but she is my mother and I do love her. It's very complicated but I suppose now really isn't the time to dwell on that, because I do have more pressing news. Sitting up, I scoot back to lean on the headboard, grabbing the stuffed snow leopard I've had since I was a baby for emotional support.

"So… your spare bedroom empty still?" The silence that follows my question makes me dizzy, and my thumb finds its way between my teeth as I nervously wait for what he has to say. His howling laughter makes me jump, yanking the phone away from my ear before putting him on speaker.

"So you did it," he starts, words coming out between gasps for air, "my girl got into her dream school eh? I always knew you could, never doubted for a second!"

My cheeks flush again at his words, and suddenly my room is very hot. I stand up to pull the string on my ceiling fan, while dad spews more praise on the phone. I dig through the mountain of shit on my desk for something to pull my braids up off my neck, finally landing on a large green claw clip that Mags gave me for my birthday over the summer.

I shed my sweatshirt before twisting the light brown ends up to the back of my head, clipping them there, and turning back to my phone where dad is finishing up his rambling.

"Are you quite finished Malik, you know I hate listening to people talk about me."

He chuckles again, "Aht aht, mind how you speak to me, little girl. I- oh damn. One second I can't find my keys."

I flop back down on the bed, shaking my head. The man would lose his if it wasn't attached, although I'm sure he could find a way to lose it now anyways. Once he finally locates his keys, our conversation continues for a few hours, the same nonsense we talk about every week with a new topic of conversation: how fast I can get to New York.

I drift off to sleep once dad hangs up after saying something about "wining and dining" a new client, hoping to find myself in his apartment once I wake up.

The sound of arguing across the hall wakes me from my nap - Mom and Dad are arguing again. They think I don't know that they're getting a divorce, but I could tell. I could tell a long time ago, even before they could, because Dad doesn't look at Mom like she looks at him. I don't know if that's bad or good, but their arguing annoys me. I just want them to get it over with so I can go stay with Dad. I hope he goes to New York. I love New York.

I sit up and climb out of the bed, checking my neon green alarm clock for the time - 6:32 pm. It's probably a good thing I'm awake then. I open my bedroom door quietly, hoping that they won't notice that I can hear them, and tiptoe my way downstairs to see if grandma is in the living room.

"Memaw? Are you down here?" My words are a whisper, as if it was the dead of night and not just suppertime.

"Yes girl, bring yourself in here," she calls out to me from the kitchen. Rounding the corner from the bottom of the stairs, I take in the scene in front of me: my grandmother, Magnolia, dances her way across the wooden floors of the kitchen, her coily, almost-gray hair pulled back out of her face with a yellow bandana, and wire-framed glasses perched on her nose. She moves to invisible music, dancing between her standing mixer and the refrigerator. She's making my birthday cake, and I think she looks so beautiful like this. I skip my way over to sit at the island where she works, propping my head up on my hands while she cracks an egg into the mixer's silver bowl.

"Mom and Dad are arguing again. I wish they would just get over it already, it's my birthday."

Magnolia hums, powering on the mixer.

"Maddy, you know they both love you, they've just got some… things to work out. It'll get better, just hold on, okay?" She reaches over and squeezes my hand before running a finger over the white hair on my eyebrow, a soft smile on her face as she thinks of her son upstairs.

"Memaw that tickles," I can't suppress my giggle and I lean back, trying to dodge her touch. "And I know that they love me, it's just… I just wish they would divorce already. I'm tired of the stupid stuff."

My hair falls down into my face as I huff and cross my arms, trying and failing to blow it back into place. Memaw sighs, turning her attention back to the cake batter. She lifts the mixer out of the bowl and hands me one of the beaters with a wink before pouring the mix into her two round tins.

"I know girl, it's hard." She places the two tins into the oven and then bumps it closed with her knee. She puts the bowl into the sink and grabs the other beater, sitting down beside me at the island.

She pushes my hair back for me while I lick the chocolate off the beater, humming to herself again.

"We gotta do something with that mop before your party tomorrow, my star. Any thoughts?"

I shrug, too focused on the task in front of me to care much about tomorrow. Tomorrow is my tenth birthday, and usually, I wouldn't agree to this party nonsense but Memaw talked me into it. Eventually, the two of us fall into a comfortable silence, Memaw rinsing the dishes and me thinking about what to wear tomorrow.

"Mama! Can we talk to you? Outside?"

My dad calling from the living room startles me, and I turn to see both my parents standing in the living room. Mom looks angry, her gaze falling directly on the white birthmark that Dad and I share. Dad just looks… he looks sad. Hes looked sad for a long time I think, but this is different. He looks defeated.

Memaw nods and wipes her hands on her apron before taking it off and hanging it by the back door.

"Maddy girl keep an eye on the timer and turn the oven off when it dings, mkay?"

I nod, grabbing the ticking timer from beside the stove being careful to not bump the knob as I watch the three of them file out the back door and close it, leaving me in the kitchen by myself. I make my way to the living room, sitting in the big leather armchair that once belonged to my Grandpa, who I never met. I put the timer on the coffee table, watching the little knob slowly tick closer to zero. Faintly, I can hear Mom saying something about  "paperwork" and "how would you not tell me."

As the ticking of the timer slowly lulls me into a light sleep, I secretly hope that whatever Dad didn't tell her is the final straw.

I jolt out of my sleep at a knock on my bedroom door. Groaning, I roll myself off the bed and onto my feet, reaching behind my head for the clip that is now slipping from my brief nap. I shake my braids down from their twisted position and open the door, only to be face-to-face with Marie again.

"Oh. I- hi, Mom."

"Mhm. So it's Mom now? Not Marie?"

"Mom I-"

"Save it," she cuts me off and I just know that I'm in for it. "I'm sorry. I just- I- I can't keep being mad at you for something that you can't control."

I can't say anything so I just stand there, blinking at the alien creature in front of me. It's not like her to apologize, especially to me. She sighs, pulling her deep blue cardigan closed over her chest.

"Maddy can we just… can we just talk? Not mother to daughter, but just talk? Please."

Still reeling from her seemingly genuine apology, I nod and step to the side for her to come in. I push the door to before sitting down on the edge of my bed, gesturing for her to sit at my desk chair. She spins it around so we can face each other, and I wait for her to speak first.

She clears her throat, "Listen, Maddy, I know I haven't been the best mother to you-" I scoff. She cuts her eyes at me and I mutter out a sorry.

"Anyways, I know I haven't been the best to you, and I know that there's nothing I could ever, ever say or do to make you forgive me, but I feel so much… so much shame. I should never have taken my problems with your father out on you. You didn't deserve that."

She reaches out to touch my knee and I stand up, going to walk next to the door while I think of what to say. I pace back and forth for a moment before I turn to look at her again. She sits with her hands in her lap, staring at the stuffed leopard on my bed. I still don't say anything, I just look at her and think. Her brown hair is straightened and pulled back, just like every other Sunday, and she looks like she hasn't slept in days. Her skin, usually a warm brown that feels full of life almost looks gray. Her eyes are tired, the bags making them look smaller and darker than I remembered. I wonder what she's thinking about, what made her come to me wanting to talk after all these years.

As I'm thinking of what to say, she suddenly inhales a deep breath and sits up straight, pulling her cardigan close again. She stands to leave, probably thinking that this was a mistake.

"Wait, Mom-"

"No, Maddy, it's okay. I shouldn't have expected you to want to talk right now. Tomorrow?"

"I- yeah. Tomorrow." I feel defeated. I watch as she opens the door and walks down the hall to her room, and something in me breaks. I close my door and lock it back as the tears flow again, sliding down to the floor and bumping my elbow on the doorknob. Ignore the pain as I think back on the last ten years, and all the ways I should've seen that she was hurting too. I know that doesn't excuse the way she treated me, but at the very least it explains it.

Eventually, I manage to ground myself and I decide that I need to get out. Now. Frantically, I grab clothes out of my closet and throw them into trash bags. I'll get boxes later, I think, shoving everything I can into as few bags as possible. I lug them down the stairs, save for a few things I’m putting in an actual suitcase, and throw them into the backseat of my car, completely ignoring the rain that's still falling rapidly.

Back inside, I sit down at my desk, surrounded by the chaos of just moments before and open my laptop to a new browser tab, typing as frantically as I was just packing.

Flights from Georgia to New York.

[sparatus]

What oc do you not talk about enough? Tell me about them but I require also to know what their favorite color and prehistoric creature. Thank you!

ohhh so many really, lemme think who's a good one [rifles through catalog] ..... man i haven't really talked about rise & reign much since i made this new account huh. okay kids let's talk about my dumb stupid son axilus :)

this big beefy dumb idiot is axilus madelivio (bold is a link, there's a size comparison ;) ):

(i know he's big and beefy but if you thirst over him i'm legally allowed to kill you. his story starts when he's like 16 this is not a thirst character he's just a big boy)

he's actually my very first mass effect oc and the reason i got into it!! my partner @lightspeedpowerpunk started playing m.e. alllll the way back in senior year of high school (2014!!!) and texted me about the m.e. au he was thinking of for some of our existing ocs, and asked me to look up turians and give him some design ideas for a turian expy of one of our original verse characters, axel madsen, and while i was doing that i just kinda... fell in love with the species and wanted to play the games, and then eli published the first chapter of an oc fic featuring axilus and his (eventual) quarian boyfriend thie'haasn, and now here we are 8 years later,

he's also going to appear in in the land of giants in a couple story arcs, can't wait to force everyone to see my actual favorite child, sorry matteo

(more under the cut cause this got. rEALLY LONG OOPS,)

axilus is a big boy, and a sweetheart, but not really a gentle giant; he's very much large and in charge, and isn't afraid to use both his immense strength and biotics to get rid of people annoying him, lmfao. his biotics manifested late, when he was 16. he'd been latent until then, until an accident during what was supposed to be his squad's last training mission activated them (read: thie detonated his own biotics in ax's arms to save them from incoming batarians) and sent everything a little loopy. he was already not doing hyper-amazing in the military, and his commanding officer saw nothing but misery in his future if he was shoved into the cabals, so she pushed him out to go adventuring with thie instead before the transfer could be completed.

considering ax's dad aephis and grandfather octyrus are both high-ranking officers in the army and navy respectively, this uh.... didn't go over well :D

after a bunch of other events that are detailed in mine and eli's series rise & reign that we swear we're planning to rewrite soon don't read it god the 2014 humor and "these authors need therapy actually" jumps RIGHT out, he and thie end up becoming captains of their own pirate-slash-mercenary crew, favored activity being hunting slavers for fun and profit. then All That Shit happens in 2186 [reaper war or cerberus trying to start galactic war, depending on canon] and they decide to retire, passing the ship on to their longtime friend raik gemeng and settling on palaven in ax's mom's family home in zouklos [tropical jungle + farmland nation on the southern continent] with their big gaggle of a family: along with thie he also marries his childhood best friend freiya and has a son with her, they have two asari children fathered by one of them each and mothered by a couple different asari friends, they adopt some war orphans who latched onto them, it's a full house.

all the while during their travels, axilus also works on steadily getting his doctorate in turian history, specializing in pre-spaceflight palavenian history and a sprinkling of cultural anthropology. once they retire, he gets a teaching job with the university he was studying with. freiya is an army officer and thie ends up working with c-sec, so axilus is the one home with the kids a lot, and if his parents or grandparents aren't available to take care of them while he's off teaching, they'll sometimes come in to class with him and steal the show.

his father aephis is a spec ops officer with the army, and his mom sephira is an astronautical engineer with TEC specializing in mass effect propulsion drives. she was even the project lead for the tantalus drive core project! he has an older brother, tollak, who's autistic and goes into law and later politics, eventually becoming the new councilor once sparatus retires after the war and the thessian beacon conspiracy have been mopped up.

when thie first wakes up after ax and his squad saved him, he meets axilus properly for the first time... and mistakes him for councilor sparatus, whom ax looks nothing like, because thie, a quarian, can't tell turian markings apart properly and also we hc quarians have reduced color vision so thie straight up cannot tell that the two are different colors. this is actually a meta joke, as when i was helping design ax, again with zero knowledge of who any of these characters were, i picked sparky's picture of the wiki and said "here, like this" for the color. the end result was more maroon than sparky's true brown, but eli threw that in the fic as a wink-wink-nudge-nudge to my design notes, and now we just. hang onto it, for comedy reasons. it is in fact funnier the less alike they actually look, thie's just colorblind.

..... and then, after that joke was already written and published, we went "haha hey what if" and then decided sparky and ax are, in fact, related. they're first cousins once removed. axilus's father aephis is ierian sparatus's cousin, their mothers corinn and meana are sisters, ax's great-grandma and sparky's grandma are the very same person, the one and only calvetana sparatus. hilariously, i probably never would have started really considering sparky as a character if he didn't have that one minor joking connection to my big dumb son. so, really, everything about my work to date with the sparatus clan and "the council does have a good reason to not believe you actually" defense is axilus's fault.

he's a sweetheart and usually the level head to thie's impulsivity, and honestly a lot smarter than he gives himself credit for. he's just not good at math! it's fine! he has computers to do it for him! his mommy is an engineer and he thinks he's dumb cause he doesn't understand what a derivative is, but she doesn't know how he remembers specific dates and years in history and why they're significant so it's fair. sephira loves and supports her sons and is secretly very happy when ax retires from piracy and comes back to palaven, she doesn't want her babies in danger even if they ARE absolute fucking tanks of drakes.

his favorite color is red, even if tragically it doesn't look great on him as a main color thanks to his being maroon, and i haven't put a lot of work into prehistoric palavenian wildlife (the megafauna in tiirtias technically count but they're very much still alive, lol) but i think he'd go apeshit for sabretooth cats, because they look very similar to how i imagine shatha!! and he'd think it's super cool how animals from completely different parts of the galaxy can still evolve roughly the same way, and then the theorizing on why terran sabretooth cats went extinct while the palavenian shatha variants survived would begin,

thank you for asking!!!! i love my big dumb baby i swear a r&r rewrite is in the plans so i can force you all to know my ocs against your will y'all can see the story unfold with better writing and updated lore, we just have to reread and make a plan for what's getting fixed

[dirce-gallegos]

Daily writing - May 1st

prompt 2434 by @daily-prompts

"You get a completely unexpected inheritance that you don’t want. Choose something bizarre, like a baby elephant or a xylophone. Start writing and see where it takes you."

-----------------------------------------

She stood completely still before the large box in her living room. The note in her hand read words she still did not understand completely.

“To my lovely granddaughter, Clarisse. Keep doing what you love.”

But her name wasn't Clarisse, and playing the xylophone wasn't exactly her passion.

Let’s recap, shall we? There had been a loud knock on her door this morning, which she hurriedly answered thinking it might be the Amazon package she’d been waiting to arrive weeks ago. Instead, a burly man in a post-office uniform quickly shoved a gigantic package inside her house (he didn’t even say good morning!) murmuring a hurried “thisisforyoupleasesign” while he forced a clipboard in her face.

She was astonished.

Signing the papers on the clipboard without even looking, admittedly not the wisest move for a responsible 25-year-old, the man left as quickly as he came, leaving her with a brand-new nicely packed professional xylophone sitting on the floor of her house, and only a small post-it note on top of it as an explanation. The thing was looking at her, laughing even. ‘It’s just you and me now, sweetheart’ she could hear it say.

She read the note a few more times, hoping new words would magically pop up or give away a clue about what was happening. Finally, amidst her panic, a moment of clarity struck. She reached for the phone and called her mom.

“Hello, darling, isn’t it quite early for you to call? Is everyth-”

“Mom, do I have a rich secret musician grandparent I do not know about?” She cut her mother abruptly.

Silence.

“Mom, just-”

“... Lucy, are you high? Are you doing drugs now? Is that why you wanted to move out?”

This was not how the conversation should be going, and it was definitely not helping the case. A desperate sigh escaped her lips, her fingers scratching her head in desperation.

“No Mom, I’m not doing drugs.” Although, being high would be a reasonable explanation, given the current situation. “Listen, I… I think I own a xylophone now.”

[nekoma-not-lee]

I’m dyingggggggg-

[boyfriendsmalec]

Pat has seen many sides of Pran throughout the years. He’s seen his competitive side, eyebrows quirked, lips raised in a playful smirk. He’s seen his sweet side, his warm, honey eyes drawing Pat in deeper and deeper. He’s seen him love-lorn, spread out underneath him, seen him over him, desperate, lips dragging against his own, skin hot, eyes fogged with want. He’s seen Pran a million different ways. But he’d never seen him like this before.

With bloody kneecaps, hyperventilating on Pat’s bedroom floor, quaking as he clung to Pat like a lifeline.

He’d come to Pat’s window minutes before, frantically rapping his knuckles against the window and Pat had just about had a heart attack when he saw the expression on Pran’s face. Pran looked terrified, color drained from his face, shaking from head to toe, unable to mutter a single word as he climbed into Pat’s room, blood dripping down his legs and tears streaking his face.

Pat did everything he could to console him, running his fingers through his hair, rocking him in his arms, whispering soft words into his ear. He’d even bandaged his bloody knees, carefully cleaning them and applying a thin layer of medicine. Still Pran wouldn’t speak. He didn’t even wince from the sting of the alcohol as Pat gently dabbed at the twin wounds. It was almost as if Pran couldn’t even hear him. Couldn’t see him. Couldn’t feel him.

Pat had never felt more scared in his life, his mind racing with the possibilities of what could have happened to make Pran truly break like this.

But it could only truly be one thing couldn’t it…

“Your parents, they know about us. Don’t they?” Pat murmured into Pran’s hair.

Pran stiffened for a moment. He pulled back, and Pat’s heart just about broke. Even in the dark Pat could see the tear stains along Pran’s face. His puffy, red-rimmed eyes, his blotchy nose.

“Pran? Is that what happened?”

Finally Pran managed a shaky, solitary nod.

“Oh, baby,” Pat said softly, and Pran ducked his head. Pat leaned forward, thumbs swiping away the last of the tears away from Pran’s cheeks. “Can you tell me what happened?”

A long silence stretched out. So long that Pat wondered if Pran even heard him. But finally Pran’s lips parted and he spoke.

“She’s going to separate us again.” Pran’s voice didn’t sound like his own. Instead it was something strained. Broken.

“No,” Pat shook his head, pulling Pran closer, cradling his face in his hands. “No. No, that won’t happen.”

“They know,” Pran whispered, curling in on himself, withdrawing from Pat’s touch. “My mom, she… she was getting suspicious. So she looked at my phone and found photos of us ki-kissing–” Pran broke off.

“Pran…” Pat tentatively rested a hand over one of Pran’s and thankfully Pran let him, squeezing his hand back tightly.

“She locked me in the guest bedroom at the far side of the house. I had to climb out the window and slipped on the way down and well, you can see where that got me,” Pran gestured to his now bandaged knees.

“Pran–”

“She told me they’re going to send me to my grandparents across the country,” Pran said, voice hollow, eyes staring blankly ahead.

A fury blazed in Pat’s chest. He remembered seeing Pran’s face when they were fifteen years old. How helpless he’d felt seeing Pran taken away from him. He didn’t try to stop it then. He wouldn’t let it happen again.

“She can’t do that, Pran,” Pat said, trying to mask his anger the best he could. “You’re an adult this time. She can’t just… force you to move somewhere.”

“She can and she will,” Pran said, voice low. So low Pat had to practically strain to hear it. “She-she told me she’s going to file a report. That I’m mentally unstable.”

“What?” Now Pat couldn’t hide his anger anymore.

“Pat, my parents have connections… they will get a judge to declare me mentally unstable.”

“I won’t let it happen–”

“She’s going to have legal guardianship of me–” Pran cut in. “Pat, I won’t be able to stop her. Even if I try. I can’t.”

“We could run away–”

“They’ll find us.”

“We’ll leave the country–”

“Pat.”

Pran looked at him, and it reminded him of how Pran looked the first time after they kissed. Utterly hopeless.

“We knew this would happen,” Pran whispered. “We knew it.”

“No.” The word didn’t even register in Pat’s mind before he said it. But he couldn’t stop himself. Because no. This wasn’t going to happen. Not again.

Pran looked at him, apprehensive, but within his eyes was a glimmer of hope.

“Pat… what are you–”

“Marry me.”

Pran froze. Clearly he hadn’t expected that. Pat hadn’t either. Pat’s mouth was working ahead of his mind tonight. But before he knew it, he already had a plan hatched in his mind.

He and Pran would not be separated. Not again.

“Are you serious?” Pran asked, and Pat noticed his fingers begin to shake. Pat took his hands once more in his own, raising Pran’s knuckles to his lips, pressing a single, tender kiss to the back of Pran’s ring finger.

“Pran. I know this isn’t the way that we wanted it to happen.” It really wasn’t. Pat had imagined one day proposing to Pran. Or even Pran beating him to propose first. And it would’ve been somewhere nice. Somewhere that wasn’t the floor of Pat’s childhood bedroom, with Pat in his pajamas and Pran with bloody knees and tear-stained cheeks.

Pat let out a shaky breath before continuing, “But, Pran, if we’re married, she can’t file guardianship over you. I’ll be your next of kin.”

Silence stretched out and Pat began to panic, until Pran finally spoke.

“I thought if we ever took that step it would be because we wanted to… not because we would be forced to,” Pran said, eyes focused on his and Pat’s interlaced fingers.

“Pran, I love you,” Pat said. Finally Pran met his eyes, and it was only then that Pat saw how much pain laid beneath Pran’s eyes. “And to be perfectly honest I have wanted to marry you since we kissed for the first time.”

The first hint of a smile appeared on Pran’s face. It was just a flicker, but it was more than enough for Pat.

“Of course, I didn’t expect to ask you this soon. I thought maybe after we graduated, had stable jobs, maybe then, but it doesn’t matter. It was bound to happen eventually. And I want you to know that I’m not just saying this because I know it will stop your mom, Pran.” Pat breathed out, leaning forward until Pran’s forehead rested against his own. Until he could feel Pran’s breath against his lips. “I truly want to marry you. If you’ll have me.”

Pran leaned forward, brushing their lips together. The ghost of a kiss, almost there, but not quite.

“Pran,” Pat breathed out. “Will you marry me?”

Pran swallowed, pulling back to look Pat firmly in the eyes.

“Okay,” Pran whispered, pulling Pat back in, giving him a short, shaky kiss. “Okay.”

Pran chose him. Time and time again Pran chose him. He chose him ahead of his own fear, ahead of his own friends, ahead of his own family.

“I love you,” Pat said, because he needed to. He needed Pran to feel his love. To know Pat would always be there for him. As his partner, as his best friend. As his husband.

“I love you too,” Pran said, kissing him again. Ardent, and heartfelt, and with an aching tenderness that made Pat’s heart swell.

As much as Pat didn’t want to he pulled away, giving Pran a soft, tender kiss on the forehead. “We have to get moving though, okay? We gotta find somewhere where we can get married before your mom can file the paperwork in the morning.”

Pran nodded, sucking in a deep breath. “You’re right. Where can we do it?”

“Korn’s dad is ordained.” Pat remembered Korn mentioning it to him once a while back. “We could go there, to Korn’s house.”

“And he wouldn’t care about marrying two men?” Pran asked, eyebrows creased in concern.

“No, no. Korn’s dad was really accepting when he came out as bi,” Pat said. “I’m sure it wouldn’t be a problem.”

“Okay then,” Pran nodded. “What about the rings?”

“Oh, I,” Pat scratched at the back of his head. “I have that covered already.”

“What?”

Pat regretfully pulled away from Pran to open his bedside drawer. Inside were two rings. He’d bought them months ago. After he and Pran became official boyfriends. He’d been passing by a shop one afternoon when he noticed the most alluring white gold bands.

“I really meant what I said when I said I wanted to marry you from the time we shared our first kiss,” Pat told him, as he showed Pran the identical rings.

Pran’s fingers brushed over them, eyes widening as the situation before them finally began to settle over him.

They were getting married. They really were. And it was finally hitting both of them.

“And to think I thought I’d be the one to propose,” Pran mumbled, and Pat broke out into a smile, which made Pran, blissfully, manage a small smile.

However, Pran’s smile quickly faded as he glanced over Pat’s shoulder.

“Pat–”

His mother.

Pat’s head snapped over his shoulder to see his mother standing out the door, eyes wide as she looked from Pat to Pran, to the small box in his hands.

Dread ran up Pat’s spine at his mother’s frantic expression.

“Take my car. I’ll tell your dad I sent it out for work. It’ll give you more time.”

Pat blinked once. Twice. He could hardly believe what he was hearing. His mom didn’t even sound shocked about this sudden revelation.

“Mom–”

“I’ll cover for you here. If they ask, I’ll tell Pran’s parents we haven’t seen him. That you are away on an Engineering trip. They won’t be any wiser,” Pat’s mom shuffled into the room, grabbing at Pat’s suitcase in his closet and quickly filling it.

“Mom, how much did you hear?” Pat asked.

“Enough,” his mother said, voice tense, but Pat didn’t miss as she threw in his old tuxedo from high school prom in the suitcase. “Don’t worry about your father. He’ll come around. Just… stay low for a while.”

“You’re okay with this, mom?” Pat turned to Pran who kept his gaze downcast since Pat’s mom entered the room. He wanted to pull Pran close, but was afraid his mom might react negatively and lash out at him. Or worse, at Pran. “You’re okay with me… with Pran?”

“You’re my only son,” his mother said, sounding resigned. “I might not be happy about the situation but… I can tell you’re happy. And that’s all that matters to me. And Pran… you’re good for my son. I can tell. He’s never been as happy as when he was around you.”

Pran finally looked up.

“Thank you,” Pran whispered. “I promise I will treat your son well.”

“I know you will. You already have,” Pat’s mother managed a half-smile and handed Pat his suitcase. “I hope to have you over soon for dinner, Pran. Just… give it a few days. Or, maybe, weeks.”

Pat pressed out the idea of his father discovering his and Pran’s relationship from his mind. It didn’t matter what his father did or said. In just a few hours, Pran would be his husband. That’s all that mattered. That they would be married, and Pran would finally be free from his mother.

Pat took the suitcase, and Pran’s hand, and they headed out.

It was then they found themselves in front of Korn’s house at three in the morning, Korn rubbing his eyes blearily as he looked at Pat and Pran, suitcase in hand.

Korn had woken his father, who gratefully agreed to perform the ceremony. The next hour or so was a haze in Pat’s eyes, as Korn helped him into his tuxedo. They’d called Ink, who was the only one they knew would be up at this hour, who agreed to come and be their second witness.

It wasn’t the grand ceremony Pran deserved. He deserved something carefully planned out, and meticulously arranged. He deserved roses and the sand under his toes and champagne-filled toasts from all their family and friends. He deserved a candlelit hall covered in flower petals with the soft sound of flutes playing as they had their first dance. He deserved more than Pat could give him at that moment.

Yet when Pat saw Pran as their eyes met under the gazebo lights he’d never looked more happy. More radiant. Only a mere hours ago he’d been sunk in front of Pat on his bloody knees, hope and life drained from his body.

Now he’d never looked more alive.

They were really doing this. Pat couldn’t even begin to believe this was happening. Regardless of the circumstances he couldn’t be any more happy.

Ink and Korn had quickly concocted a beautiful ceremony space, lit with stray tea candles, and hung with star-shaped lights, Korn even scattering some loose rose petals at their feet. At least his Pran would get his roses. Just one of the many things he deserved.

Pat could hardly focus on Korn’s father as he spoke, unable to look away from Pran. From the soft look in his eye, and the warm grip of his hands in his own. He hardly even noticed when Korn’s father asked them for their vows. They hadn’t prepared any, of course. But they still knew the words to say. They’d known them for a long time.

“Pat,” Pran started, shifting his hands in Pat’s own. “My whole life I tried living for other people. For my parents. For my friends. For what people expected of me. You’re the first one, the only one, that made me want to live for myself.”

Pat’s hands tightened around Pran’s. It took every last ounce of restraint from kissing Pran, from breaking down and sinking to his knees, proclaiming his love for him.

“You’re the first one that made me not feel alone. That made me feel seen. That made me feel heard. Your love, it was never conditional. You loved me even at my worst. You loved me even with my flaws. And it scared me. Because I thought someday I would lose your love. But I was wrong. I know now that you’ll always fight for us. And I want to fight for us too.

“Until my last breath I promise I will fight for you. For us. I promise to be there for you, no matter what obstacles are put against us. Because we’ve endured it all already. The world was set against us from the beginning, and yet here we are. Because my love for you, our love for each other, it’s stronger than all the hate they can throw at us.”

Pran finished his speech by raising Pat’s knuckles to his lips, and brushing a kiss against Pat’s ring finger, mirroring the action Pat had done earlier that very same night.

“And you expect me to follow that?” Pat asked with a watery chuckle, Pran letting out a small, joyful laugh that made Pat want to melt.

“Pran,” Pat cleared his throat, growing more serious. “I think in some ways I’ve always known we’d end up like this. I think what you said when we were in high school was right. We were born to be together. Maybe you think the world is against us. But I think it’s wanted this for us all along. I think we were always meant for each other. I felt it since we were kids, this pull to you… I tried to ignore it. I told myself I didn’t want to be your friend. And when we were in high school I said I was just your friend, and nothing more. But I knew there was always something more. I just couldn’t quite place it.

“I wish I had been smarter, been braver then. Three years was three too many to be away from you. Over one thousand days, and in every one of them I thought of you. Where you were, what you were doing, if you were happy.

“Over one thousand days. And now I will make sure we spend every day of the rest of our lives together. Because I’m never letting you go again, Pran. And that’s a promise, my love.”

Halfway through Pat’s speech, Pran’s bottom lip began to quiver, and by the end he was crying again, tears flowing freely. But they were tears of joy, not sadness. Pat cupped Pran’s face, the urge to comfort Pran distracting him from the rings being presented to him.

Pran, thankfully, more focused on the task at hand, took the rings from Korn’s father and shakily slid the ring onto Pat’s finger. Pat couldn’t help but stare at it for a moment. A solid, physical reminder of his love for Pran, of their love for each other, on his hand. For all to see.

Pat took the ring he had bought Pran all those months ago and took Pran’s hand gently, sliding the ring on carefully, focused on Pran’s eyes the whole time, heart seizing in his chest as he saw Pran’s breath hitch as the ring slid home on his finger. Pat ran his thumb along the band, the white gold shining in the moonlight.

And then Korn’s father asked those words: “Do you take this man to be your husband?”

“I do.” Their voices echoed in the night, a shared breath, identical smiles cracking on their faces.

Pat barely heard Korn and Ink’s whoops of delight as he dived forward, kissing Pran with every ounce of love his body could possess. Pran melted against him, drawing him in close.

The earlier pain of the night faded away, Pat lost in Pran’s warm lips and the sweeping motion of Pran’s finger against his ring finger.

They were married before dawn, names signed in fresh ink on their wedding documents. They were married in law, officially. Pran was his husband. And he was Pran’s.

“Husband,” Pran whispered over and over against his lips when they made love later that morning.

They drove to the beach, snagged a honeymoon suite that faced the water.

Pran looked beautiful tangled up in the cream sheets, his wedding ring sparkling against the glimmer of morning light that peeked through the curtains.

“Yes, husband?” Pat whispered, relishing in Pran’s touches, in his caress, in the way Pran’s legs tightened around his waist.

“Nothing,” Pran smiled at him. He looked ethereal. It left Pat breathless. “I just like to call you that.”

“And I like to hear it,” Pat grinned, nipping at Pran’s ear and Pran shivered, drawing him closer with the heels of his feet. “Husband.”

It was easy to forget the outside world in their little bubble.

Later, after they were able to finally sleep for a few hours, reality settled over Pat a bit more. He could tell it did for Pran too, and he hoped Pran wasn’t regretting this.

Apparently Pat had vocalized his fears without thinking because Pran turned to look at him, stunned.

“I could never regret this, Pat,” Pran assured him, running his thumb over Pat’s ring again. “Never. Marrying you was the best decision I’ve ever made. Because it was a selfish decision. And I never make selfish decisions. But I think maybe it’s time I was more selfish.”

“You’re the least selfish person I know,” Pat said.

“You only see the best in me,” Pran shook his head, though there was a smile on his face as he said it.

“I see all of you. Good and bad. And I want you more every time,” Pat told him.

“I want you more every time too,” Pran said. Soft and sincere.

Pat knew they were in for a world of hell come tomorrow. And the day after that, and for the rest of time. But they would be by each other’s sides. And that’s all that mattered.

Pran was his husband. His family. He was all that mattered.

And Pran’s parents couldn’t touch him. Not anymore. Pat would like to see them try.

~

Pat had never thought he’d have another love that could compare to the love he had for Pran. That was only challenged when he held his and Pran’s son in his ams for for the first time.

He would do anything for their son, as he would do anything for Pran. He would burn down the world to keep both of them safe. To keep them happy.

He couldn’t imagine a world where he would try to prevent his son’s happiness for such a petty feud as their families did.

Their son would never know fear the way they did. He would only know love.

It had been years, but the wounds from Pran’s mom still ran deep. Pran had never forgiven her. He still saw his dad sometimes, but he almost never saw his mom. He allowed her to see their son once, months after they first adopted him.

Pran invited his mom to meet him in neutral territory. At a neighborhood park. Pat had stood close by, not wanting to intrude, but wanting to be there with Pran for support.

“This is our son,” Pran said, cradling the sleeping baby in his arms.

“Oh, Pran, he’s beautiful,” Pran’s mother said, hand reaching forward but Pran took a step back.

“I wanted you to see him. I wanted you to see the family I made, the one that we almost didn’t have because of you,” the words came out soft, but Pat could feel the venom that lay beneath them. “You know for a long time I thought I should forgive you. But now that I have a child of my own, I know I can’t. Because I know I would never do to my son what you did to me.”

Pran’s mother looked affronted. “I told you, I am okay now if you want to be with P– with him.”

“You can’t even say his name even now,” Pran scoffed, shifting the baby’s weight in his arms as his son began to stir. “Look, you might be my mother, but that doesn’t mean I have to forgive you. And it doesn’t mean you have a right to see my child ever again.”

“Pran,” Pran’s mother shook her head. “I’ve told you how sorry I am for everything.”

“Actually, no, this is the first time I’m hearing those words come from your mouth,” Pran cocked his head, his words turning bitter. Their son began to let out a soft cry, distressed from his father’s stern voice. Pran immediately softened, turning to soothe the infant.

“I can take him,” Pat stepped forward, having stood to the sidelines, watching this interaction between Pran and his mother pass for too long. Pran smiled at him, gratefully handing their son to him.

Pran’s mother shot him a look. Even after all these years, she could still never accept him. No matter how much she tried to insist she was okay with it, the words rang hollow.

“I think we’ve had enough for today,” Pran told his mother, putting his hand on Pat’s back.

Thankfully Pran’s mother didn’t fight them this time. She knew it wasn’t a fight she could win.

“Do you think I was wrong for not forgiving her?” Pran asked Pat later, when they were settling down for the night, their son tucked into Pran’s arms, bottle of formula in hand.

“I think it’s ultimately your decision. She’s your mother after all,” Pat said. “And I mean what she did to you… trying to take away your own freedom, I think many people would find that unforgivable.”

“I just don’t want her around you. Or our son. She’s like a poison. She was the reason we were apart for so many years. The reason why we were almost separated again,” Pran said, sighing as he looked down at their son. “I was afraid for so many years to even tell her I was gay. I didn’t know she’d react to that, much less to finding out who I liked in particular.”

“You know I’ll always stand by whatever decision you make,” Pat told him. “As I know you will support every decision of mine.”

“Every decision of yours, huh?” Pran’s eyebrow twitched and he looked up at Pat. “Why, what did you have in mind?”

Pat hummed, pretending to deliberate as he scratched his chin.

“Oh, I know. I decided I want us to have a second baby,” Pat grinned, bopping Pran’s nose, eyes gleaming with delight.

Pran groaned, shifting their son in his arms. “Pat.”

“I know he’s not out of diapers yet, but wouldn’t it be nice to have a little girl?” Pat pouted.

“You’re ridiculous,” Pran said, but his eyes were shining. “One day. Okay?”

Pat has seen Pran a million different ways. But with Pran in their bed, sleep-bedraggled, and with their child in his arms, he’d never looked more beautiful.

[sagendipity]

reminder i'm sage i used to be notplanningshit until i accidentally deleted my blog so now im reposting my works!

info: quackity x reader, gn!reader, hurt/comfort, no warnings

on frizzy hair and the pursuit of perfection

Intellectually, in the rational side of your brain, you know that what you’re feeling is stupid.

You see the Instagram posts talking about the importance of self-affirmation and mental health. You see the tweets saying that people are more than their family’s perception of them. You realize that having a condescending and judgmental family is almost a right of passage for your generation.

These are all things you know, intellectually. But knowing something intellectually does jack shit for actually convincing your heart of whatever you know. You can yell at yourself all you want, but it’s clearly not your rational brain making you tear up at yet another text from your dad that was along the lines of “cool, could be better, though.”

You just want someone, just once, to celebrate an achievement with you. You want to be excited to share something with someone, without fear of them scoffing in the face of your pride and excitement. In your family- hell, in the world, certainly- someone has always done better, and you’re damn sure to be reminded of such.

It’s been years of this same behavior, ever since you can remember. It’s not just your dad, either, it’s your whole family- aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins. The whole town you grew up in had this haughty, arrogant air about it, where everyone was constantly competing, even if there was no reason for it. Take the hardest classes, get the least sleep, get the biggest scholarship. Even your friends would flex their better test scores at you, and refuse to help you with the homework, in case you somehow got a better score on a test than them. You know it’s how they were raised, they’re just a product of their environment and don’t know how bad it hurts, but it still stung then, and probably always will. You’re still in contact with a few of them, and it’s just more of the same whenever you exchange a handful of quick texts every couple months.

You know you should stop giving information about your achievements to them, but when your dad texts and asks how you are, there’s not much you can reply with other than “good, got a promotion at work!” From there, it’s a slippery slope of him asking what new benefits you got, and then the judgmental few moments where the gray dots disappear and reappear while he tries to compose his thoughts about your inadequacy in the least-abrasive way a middle-aged man can. That is to say, not un-abrasively at all. In fact, his words are often delivered with the finesse of low-grit sandpaper on soft wood.

Well, could be more. Work harder and maybe you’ll get an increase next month. I got a lot of bonuses at work when I was your age. All you have to do is take the bad shifts and get some good customer reviews. You’ll get there.

You stare at the fresh new message on your phone screen before clicking it off with a bone-deep sigh, your eyes betraying your rational side by, again, tearing up. You shove the heels of your hands into your eyes and rub until the tears are forced away and you see spots.

That’s how Alex finds you, sat on the foot of your shared bed with your hands rubbing fiercely at your eyes. He’s probably just come to grab a hoodie- the setting sun brings with it a cool breeze that washes through your open windows and cools the house from the warmth it’d gathered from the day’s sun.

“You good?” He asks, opening his closet door and pulling out a hoodie. He wrestles it on over his head as he waits for your response- when he pushes his head out the other end, hair mussed and static-y, you still haven’t answered. “Baby?”

He comes and sits down next to you. Your eyes, red-rimmed but still dry, track his movements before flicking to catalog every tuft of disheveled hair protruding from his head. With a superficial smile, you reach up to smooth his long, black locks back and down into place. It doesn’t matter; he’s going to slip on a beanie sooner or later, but for now, you distract yourself by combing gentle fingers through the soft strands.

“Not that I don’t appreciate this,” Alex murmurs, brown eyes searching your face for an answer to what has you upset. “But what’s wrong?”

“Just my dad,” you whisper, not trusting your voice not to crack. You avoid his gaze, keeping your eyes fixed stubbornly on his hair as you finish your work. “There. You looked like a hedgehog.”

He huffs a little laugh, but scoots closer to you and grabs a hand out of your lap- you’d curled your hands into tight fists, your nails digging little red crescents into your palm. He uncurls the hand he’s holding and reaches for the other, but you save him the work by instead grabbing onto your own thigh tightly, redirecting the frustration. He rubs small circles into the aching skin of your other palm while he waits for you to gather yourself and explain, now that the ice has been broken on the topic.

“He always acts like whatever I do is just not quite good enough for him. They all do- him, my mom, even my fucking friends.” You rub your free hand down your face, trying to alleviate some tension. It does not work. “I don’t know why I’m still upset. They’ve been doing it forever.”

“That’s probably why you’re still upset. You hope they’d grown up enough to stop doing that.” Alex presses his thumb into the center of your palm. It grounds you, and you swallow around the lump in your throat.

“It’s not even a matter of immaturity- it’s not as simple as a pissing contest. It’s just who they are. They don’t think perfection exists, but they want me to achieve it anyways.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. That sounds exhausting.”

He sounds so sincere, so genuine, like the idea of you being treated this way is deeply upsetting to him. You’d never really… experienced that. Someone recognizing your struggle, and admitting that it must fucking suck is something you’d never been graced with.

His brow is furrowed in a display of concern, eyes gentle and searching. He’s not lying, he means what he said, and he’s not going to follow it up with a “but-,”.

Eyes beginning to sting again, you lean forward until you’re resting your forehead on his shoulder. The soft fabric of his hoodie immediately calms you, along with the warmth you can feel emanating from him. It makes sense, after all, that the personification of pure sunshine would have such warmth about them.

Alex scoots forward, gathering you more closely in his arms, his legs awkwardly folded so that you can sit right in front of him. His hands come up to hold you, one fisting in the fabric of your sweatshirt, and the other resting on the back of your neck, gentle, but firm. You let out a shuddering breath, squeezing your eyes shut tightly. Not going to cry.

“I got a promotion at work,” you mutter, taking a long, deep breath. You brace yourself, waiting for a dismissive response. “That’s what set my dad off- I got- he-.”

Your voice cracks, and you trail off with a small sigh, clutching at Alex’s hoodie even tighter. It’s thick and soft under your fingers, and you knead at it like a cat.

“A promotion?! Baby, that’s amazing!” Alex pulls back just enough to take a glance at you, his own expression steeling from excitement back to sadness as he sees that you are still fighting back tears. “Sweetheart, I think you’re the only person to ever cry after getting a promotion.”

A little laugh escapes your chest, huffy and wet, but still a laugh. Alex’s lips curl into a smile as he reaches up to smooth back some of your stray hairs, like you’d done for him a moment or two ago. You smile, reaching up to intercept his hand, and lace the two of you’s fingers together.

He squeezes your hand where it’s resting in his grip, looking at your linked fingers briefly. “Also, your family is wrong.”

“About what specifically?” You huff, wiping at your eyes for hopefully the final time.

“About perfection not existing. It does, and I know exactly what it looks like.” Despite the serious words, Alex is fighting back a smile. You narrow your eyes at him, already anticipating the next thing he’s going to say. “It looks like you, dumbass.”

You groan, feeling a hot blush rise to your cheeks immediately. You tip forward to bury yourself in Alex’s neck, this time hiding your flustered face and stupidly happy grin.

“I can feel your smile against my neck, you know.”

“Oh, fuck off-.”

With the hand that’s on the back of your neck, Alex coaxes you out of hiding just to press a kiss to your forehead. “Really. I am proud of you. I don’t want you to be afraid to tell me about your achievements because of what your family has done to you.”

“Okay,” you whisper again, voice thick with emotion. “Thank you.”

He hums in response, tilting his head and looking at you with what can only be described as pure fondness in his eyes. Then, he leans down to meet you for a delicate kiss, and your eyes finally stop stinging.

[reidgraygubler]

multiply (kyle orfman/reader)

Title: multiply Request: no Couple: Kyle Orfman/Fem!reader Category: angst/smut w/ a taste of fluff Content Warning: SEXUAL CONTENT (penetrive sex, unsafe sex, mild hatefuck, grinding/groping, heavy petting, light breathplay (hand over mouth and nose) breeding/impregnation kink, fingering), zombies and zombies eating humans, death, descriptions of death, death of a grandparent (grandmother), mentions of guns and gun violence (but none actually happening), petnames (kitten/officer) Word Count: 5,943 Summary: After narrowly escaping her grandmother eating her, Reader is on her own to find other civilization. She meets the Orfman family and they take her in for safety. Reader and Kyle share a special bond. A/N: I am in love with this piece, so I hope you guys love it as much as I do. thank you to @reidetic for beta/editing this for me! this was also written for @imagining-in-the-margins "there was only one bed" trope challenge for june! thank you all so much for the support! i really do appreciate it. check out my masterlist!

{***}{***}{***}

My grandmother was alive… And then she was dead… And now she’s alive again. Which is very confusing because I watched her die. Like I can’t be the only person experiencing this, right? It’s not some weird fever dream either, I don’t think. This has to be a town wide phenomenon.

My grandmother was acting totally normal too. As if she didn’t die. She was living life day to day, making cookies, knitting, and sipping her tea, just like she did before she died. It was like life went back to normal. And then… She tried to eat me. That’s definitely not normal. Is it?

Who eats another person!? Zombies! That’s who! And how do you kill a zombie? I don’t really like that answer. Because I love my grandmother. She’d do nothing to hurt me, except eat me, I guess.

I gotta get out of this house. It’s not safe to stay in the house with her anymore, and it hasn’t been for a long time. So instead of killing her, like any other sane person would do, I just left. I packed my backpack with a few clothes, snacks and water, and I left.

Turns out it was a lot more than a town wide phenomenon. It was country wide. Everyone was experiencing their dead loved ones returning from the dead. Just showing up, like how my grandmother just showed up. It caused something of an uprise, too, considering people don’t just come back to life after being dead, and they’re eating other humans. It wasn’t an uprise. It was terror, pure terror of the people who didn’t die and come back to life.

I hadn’t left my house in a while, at least since my grandmother came back. So I didn’t realize just how dire the situation was. Piles of burnt stuff were all over the place. Cars with shattered windshields were crashed into trees or homes. And the number of bodies just on the street was… incredibly disturbing.

I needed to find any sign of civilization, and quickly. There was no telling just how long I’d make it alone. I probably only had enough water for the next day or two. And the only zombie movies I’ve seen were Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland, and that wasn’t very helpful… Well maybe Zombieland was helpful.

A long branch with a sharp and pointy end was sitting in the middle of the road. I grabbed it, hoping it’d be enough of a weapon to protect me from the disaster around me. I silently hoped, and prayed to whatever God was up there, that I’d find safety before nightfall.

I was beginning to lose hope as the sun started setting; the sky lighting up with the fires around the town. Several people wearing orange jumpsuits came running around the corner, each carrying various weapons in their hands and over their backs. I nearly fell to the ground because of how startled I was. I tried to pay attention to the crowd around me, but the pavement chewed up the palms of my hands.

A guy with a crew cut hairstyle seemingly looked in charge. Weird to have a gangly and scrawny man be in charge of a zombie take out group. He had this weird stature that he held, like he was trying to be intimidating but not everyone took him seriously.

The guy looked right at me and pointed a gun at my head. I slowly lifted my hands and stared at him.

“D-Don’t shoot! I’m human!” I shouted as I stared at him. He stared back, stepping closer to me. He dropped his gun away from me, but still kept his guard up.

“Human my ass!” The guy with the crewcut shouted. I looked at my hands, watching as blood began seeping from my palms. I quickly looked back at him, hoping he’d look at the human blood.

"Thoughts on smooth jazz?!" he asked in a loud tone. I stared up at him, feeling the terror bubble up my throat.

"I-I… Not my first choice in music?" I furrowed my eyebrows, as I wondered what this had to do with anything.

"Thoughts on dirt?!"

"Ew? Good for gardening? I don’t know!” I shouted back before I stumbled to my feet. The guy with the crew cut cautiously stepped closer to me as he examined my face and body. I’d assume it was because he was looking for any impurities I could possibly have. “I almost had to kill my grandmother. But… But I had to leave. I couldn’t do it. So I left. I left because she lunged at me… from across the table,” I mumbled as he stepped back. “I just need somewhere.. To lie low for the time being. I promise I’m safe.” I whispered as I looked at him. The guy looked back at the rest of his team, gauging their thoughts and concerns about letting me go with them.

“You can come with us. But the second you turn your back on us, or turn into them, don't be shocked when I’m the one to put a bullet into your head,” his voice got scary low as he stepped right up to me. I swallowed roughly and nodded.

“Understood,” I whispered as I looked up at him.

I was shoved into the middle of the crowd of orange jumpsuits. The guy with the crewcut took the lead and brought us to a house that was guarded by tall cement and steel fencing. The people who were currently occupying this home knew how to keep themselves safe.

We entered the fenced in yard of the house, the leader making sure everyone got in safely, and no undead beings followed us. Then we entered the house. I was half expecting it to be stripped down, or decayed. But when we got in… It looked like a normal home, just no power, and the windows boarded up.

“Oh! A new person!” A woman exclaimed once I stood in the area that was once a living room. She came right up to my side, looking at me with a bright smile. She was very happy that I was here. “Don’t worry! You’re safe now!” she cooed as she threw her arms around me. I froze, my body refusing to move as she embraced me.

“I-I…” I swallowed roughly as she pulled away from me. I barely had time to say anything else as she pulled us to sit on the couch.

“I’m Judy Orfman. Kyle is my son.” She smiled as she gestured towards the crew cut guy wearing the orange jumpsuit.

“Mom,” Kyle muttered as he pinched the bridge of his nose. I snickered as I looked back at Judy. I smiled softly as I gave her my name. It was weird how homey this place felt, albeit our situation in the world. Part of me wondered if Judy had any part in that.

“My husband, Noah, is out right now. And my other son, Zach, is with one of the women. She also had to kill her grandmother,” Judy whispered that last part. I looked at her with wide eyes, feeling a certain nervousness settle in the pit of my stomach. I could tell she meant well, and I shouldn’t be scared around anyone here. Everything that’s happened is just unsettling. When I woke up this morning I wasn’t expecting to have to escape zombies.

“Is it okay i-if I lie down? I’m just very tired after everything that’s happened.” I I looked between Judy and Kyle.

“Oh! Kyle, honey, you should let her sleep in your room. She obviously needs it,” Judy spoke to her son as she carefully smoothed out my hair. I looked at her with a small smile. I loved how motherly she was. It was definitely something I needed in a time like this.

“I’m not going to do that, Mom.”

“We don’t have any more bed space. You’re the only person with a bed big enough to hold two people. We aren’t going to force her to sleep on the floor or on the couch.”

“I-I don’t have an issue with the flo-”

“Non-sense! Kyle has plenty of space!” Judy clapped her hands together as she glared at Kyle. Kyle looked back at her with wide eyes before dropping his head and mumbling something. Even though Kyle was in charge of the orange jumpsuits, Judy was the head of household. Anyone could argue with her, but she would end up getting her way no matter what. Kyle probably knew better than to fight his mother.

“So it’s agreed then! You guys will share the room!” Judy smiled brightly. “Just no funny business.” She then glared between me and Kyle. I looked at her with wide eyes before shaking my head.

“Ugh! Ew! With him!”

“Her?! Are you serious?”

Even though I basically said what he said, I was still hurt by his utter disgust behind his words. I tried not letting it bother me as I grabbed my backpack and stood up.

“Why don’t you show her around? The bathroom, kitchen, bedroom.” Judy stood up beside me as she looked at her son. Kyle begrudgingly moved towards the opening of the living room, leading off to a new area.

“C’mon,” he grumbled as he looked over at me. I looked at Judy before looking back at Kyle. I dropped my head before dashing up beside him.

Every room he showed, I was met with a new person distraught by the events of the day. Kyle just showed me the room. I didn’t really know what I was expecting when he showed me around the house.

“Finally, this is where I sleep,” Kyle muttered as he gestured towards the closed off bedroom. A small smile grew on my lips as I entered the room, heading right towards the bed. Kyle, however, stopped me by grabbing my backpack and pulling me back to the door. “And just what do you think you’re doing?”

“Judy said I could sleep in here, too. So I figured I should take my side of the bed.” I looked up at him, folding my arms over my chest. A smirk grew across Kyle’s lips before he nodded. At this point we were standing toe-to-toe, and our chests were practically pressed together.

“You’re adorable,” he muttered before pulling my backpack off my back and tossing it to the left side of the bed. “If I find out you’re cuddling with me, you’re outta here. And if I see you going through my shit… You’re dead.”

“Sir, yes, sir.” I whispered before looking away from him. I walked away from him and towards the bed. Even though I wasn’t facing him, I could feel Kyle’s eyes on me as I went through my bag. “Are you just going to stand there and watch me? Or are you going to let me sleep peacefully?” I asked as I dropped my shoulders and the things I was holding.

“Until I know you won’t fuck around with stuff you’re not supposed to…” He spoke out loud. I rolled my eyes before turning to face him.

“Do you want me to just mess with your stuff while you’re here?” I asked as I walked back around to his side of the bed. Kyle’s eyes widened and his jaw steeled as I went to his night stand. “Or will you leave me alone so I can get some rest?”

“I’ll leave you alone the second you back away from that nightstand.” His words were quick and sharp as he spoke. A small smirk grew across my lips as I looked back at him. I stepped away from the night stand and stood in the middle of the room. “I’ll come back in an hour,” he muttered before leaving the room.

With a deep sigh, I returned to my side of the room, finally getting ready to lie down for the first time in what feels like days.

{***}{***}{***}

I don’t think time exists anymore. Ever since the world went to shit, it feels like days felt longer than 24 hours. So it was hard to say how long I’d been in this safe house. I wished time was still relevant...

I try not to let things bother me. But I feel like it’s especially hard in this house with all of these people I hardly know. It was even harder because I was still sharing a room with Kyle. And he is probably the worst person I’ve ever met. He talks in his sleep. But he wouldn’t own up to that. Noooo, he’s too good for that.

The first night I realized he was talking in his sleep wasn’t too bad, mostly because it was him talking about stuff that happened before before a stupid zombie apocolyspe. But now it’s just annoying shit. I never get a moment alone anymore.

For a moment of privacy, I sat in the closet. It was just for a moment before the doors swung open and a woman my age sat down beside me.

“Zach wants to go to a stupid graveyard today,” Erica muttered as she sat down. I looked over at her with a raised eyebrow. “He wants to visit Beth’s stupid grave.”

“Beth’s his ex-girlfriend, right?” I asked, still unsure of who people were here. She nodded as she began picking at the loose threads on her pants. “You shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, Erica.”

“Okay, but when the dead start trying to kill me, then I’m going to talk ill of the dead.”

“That’s fair, I suppose,” I muttered as I looked at the floor in front of us. “It’s still not really safe to do that… Little weird.” I glanced back at Erica with a raised brow. She looked back at me and grimaced. I had nothing else to say, granted conversations between us didn’t last too long. We had nothing in common other than our grandmothers tried eating us, therefore we had to kill them. So what was the use of us talking? I knew a friendship would never grow between us.

With a resigned sigh, I stood up, leaving Erica in the closet alone. I ignored her bothersome questions as I walked away from her. I didn’t want to be around her, or really anyone. So I went to the safest place I could think of, hoping no one else would be there, my shared bedroom with Kyle.

Of course, it’d just be my luck that Kyle would also be there. He was sitting at his desk, wearing nothing by his boxers while he cleaned his gun. I just didn’t realize that till I had fully entered the room.

“What the fuck!? What are you doing?! Don’t you knock!?” he shouted as I entered the room more. I turned and looked at him, my eyes wide as I stared at him. “S-Stop staring! Are you crazy!?”

“Me crazy!? You’re the one cleaning your gun half naked!” I shouted as I gestured at his attire. I quickly threw a hand over my eyes as I blindly searched for the bed.

“It's how I relax!” He shouted back. Once my body finally touched the bed, I laid back, quickly throwing a pillow over my face. “Can you leave?”

“How come you get to relax but I don’t? Roommates remember?” I sat up and glared at him. He glared back at me, keeping his hands on his gun.

“It’s so funny to me that you were going to be a police officer?” I scoffed as I laid back. That seemed to strike a chord in him, causing him to stand and look at him.

“What? I didn’t tell-”

“You talk in your sleep,

“No I don’t, Kitten,” Kyle retorted. I stared at him for a moment, trying to comprehend what he just called me. Kitten? Really? Seriously? “If anyone talks in their sleep, it’s you.” He pointed at me. I smirked and shrugged.

“If you say so… Officer.” I grinned before reaching up to shut the lamp off. Kyle stayed sitting in the darkness. I could only imagine his face was beet red, and his knuckles were white as a ghost as he held his gun.

“What exactly do you think you’re doing?” Kyle’s voice came through the mild darkness. I shrugged, even though he couldn’t see me.

“Taking a nap, Officer, because it’s how I relax.”

{***}{***}{***}

It had to have been the middle of the night. I couldn’t be too sure. I just knew it was late at night, and Kyle’s whole entire body was clinging to mine as he talked.

“Someone’s gotta repopulate the world… Why… Why don’t you do it with me?” Kyle mumbled into my chest. I stiffened as his hands drifted all over my body. “You’re like the only feasible person to do it with.”

“Okay, first off, rude,” I muttered as I shoved his body off mine. It was impossible to keep him off me though, because the moment his body was away from mine, he knew, and instantly wrapped his arms back around me ten times harder than before. “Secondly, haven’t you heard of personal space,” I groaned as I laid perfectly still on my back. I finally just gave in and let him keep his arms around me. No use in fighting that.

“C’mon, Kitten,” he mused as he nuzzled his head into my chest more. I widened my eyes and looked down at him. “We’d make some pretty cute kids.”

I hate this so fucking much. And there was no way I was getting out of this. I just wish this was when I knew the weird sex dreams started...

{***}{***}{***}

I laid perfectly still on the bed. The lights were off, and Kyle was perfectly asleep. I was envious of his sleep. The last time I had a peaceful night of rest was ages ago. The nightmares I had were awful, keeping me awake till dawn. But also, Kyle also talked in his sleep and always clung to me like his life depended on it.

I’d be lying if I said Kyle and I hadn’t gotten close. Even though part of me still hated him, the other part of me knew that he was probably the last person I had to be friends with, other than his mother and Erica.

With a deep groan, I shoved Kyle awake, nearly pushing him to the floor.

“What the hell was that for!?” he shouted from his spot on the ground beside the bed.

“You know when you talk in your sleep…” I spoke aloud. I kept my eyes on him as he glared at me.

“No I don’t,”

“You sure about that, Officer. How else would I know you wanted to be a cop?” I scoffed as I stood up off the bed. Kyle watched as I walked around the bed and stood at the foot of it.

“You… You read through my personal belongings.” He shot back as he stood to his feet.

“Y-You have a diary,” I stifled my laughter as I looked at him. Kyle glared at me again. “No, I only know that because you talk in your sleep. And at first it didn’t bother me too much because it was cute shit like being a police officer, or having a family and kids, and cute shit… But now… For the last week, Kyle, you have been having sex dreams. And I wake up to you clinging to me…” I lifted an accusing finger as I spoke. Kyle looked at me, waiting for me to continue my rant. Which was rather surprising because he hardly lets people finish their thoughts or rants before he interprets them. “Do you know how weird that is?! Having sex dreams about someone who’s just sleeping next to you?” I stared at him for a moment, trying to understand if he was going to say anything. “Whatever, I’m going to help Judy.” I scoffed before turning to leave the room.

“With what? It’s midnight!” He gestured to the dark window. Yeah, that was true. Judy was probably asleep. I just needed to get out of the room and let my frustrations be out instead of held in.

“With something!” I shouted at him.

“Kitten, wait,” Kyle started before grabbing my wrist and pulling me to face him. I spun around on my toes and looked right at him. I couldn’t help but feel annoyance grow on my face as I stared.

“Why do you call me that!?” I shouted at him. Kyle stayed silent as he stared up at me. I could see a certain confusion grow on his face as he tried to connect the dots to my question. “Kitten! Why do you call me that?! You’ve called me that since I got here.”

“Well… I…” Kyle paused for a moment. I watched as his mouth opened and closed a few times, and his jaw clenching momentarily. I stared at him, as he sat in thought for a very long time.

“Whatever,” I scoffed as I turned to leave again.

“Because you’re attractive…” He finally spoke after an eternity of silence. He looked up at me with a stilled face. “Because I’d fuck you,” he stated truthfully. I blinked, taking a step back before I stared at him.

“That’s a bit of a raunchy way to say you want to sleep with me.” I folded my arms over my chest. Kyle smirked before shrugging. “I’ve been sleeping with you for the last month.”

“You-You know what I meant,” he muttered as he approached me again. I stopped right in front of me, our toes just barely touching. “Well, do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Want to have sex with me?”

“You… You want to have sex… During the end of the world. Bit cliche don’t you think?” I was still taken aback that he just asked that. I’m still stuck in the argument we had less than 10 minutes ago. And now he wants to have sex with me?

“Well I wouldn’t say that it’s the end of the world. But that’s essentially what I’m saying… Yeah, I wanna have sex with you, during the end of the world.” Kyle shrugged as he looked at me.

“If you say so… Officer,” I whispered with a shrug. Kyle looked at me, his jaw stealing at my words. “Someone’s gotta repopulate the world.” I smirked at him. I could tell my words did something to him. It was obvious that he did indeed want someone to repopulate with. And I was the winner of that contest. Not that I’m complaining.

“Don’t… Don’t call me that,” he warned as he cornered me between his body and the bed. I took a deep breath as I looked at him, feeling my heart rate pick up in my chest. He still made it possible for me to escape if I wanted to. But, at this point, who says I wanted to escape?

“Why? D-Does it do something to you, Officer?” I whispered as I lifted my hands to his shirt. A small smirk grew across his lips as I smoothed out the wrinkleiness of the fabric against his torso. I could feel the semi toneness of his chest through the light fabric.

“You tell me yourself, Kitten,” he muttered before pressing his hips into mine. My breath was instantly knocked from my lungs as his bulge pressed into my legs. “Tell me now… If you want to stop…” he half growled into my mouth. I quickly shook my head as he pressed his groin into me more.

“P-Please,” I whispered before I pulled my lips between my teeth.

“Please what, Kitten?”

“Don’t stop,” I whimpered into his mouth. He looked down at me, a pleased smirk growing on his lips before he quickly pressed his mouth along my face and then down my jaw. It was impossible to stay down on earth the moment he began leaving little bites across my neck. A soft whimper fell from my lips as he pushed me back down on the bed.

“We gotta be quiet… My parents are in the next room over. Don’t want them hearing us,” he whispered into my ear as he quickly threw a hand over my mouth. I took a deep breath before he pressed his thumb over my nose. “You think you can do that for me, Kitten?” He kept his voice low, almost a growl as he spoke. With his other hand, he carefully pushed past my pajamas and cupped my pussy.

I wanted to nod, but I knew the nod would mean nothing the second I whimpered again. Kyle smirked as he slowly moved his fingers over my clothed sex. I don’t think I’d be able to be quiet...

It just got harder to stay quiet the second he started stroking my clit over my panties. He knew exactly what he was doing. Driving me nuts, that’s what. He could’ve gone slower, and I would’ve hated him for it… Or loved him. At this point they were both interchangeable.

I bit down so hard on my lips I was sure they’d bleed as he moved my underwear to the side. My lungs slowly grew a blaze, feeling a certain tightness in my chest as he slowly moved a finger between my folds, slowly pressing it into my entrance. A dark smirk grew across his lips as he withdrew his hand.

“I didn’t know a kitten could get so wet,” Kyle mused as looked at his glistening fingers. He quickly glanced at me, his smirk growing daker by the second. Then he carefully stuck his fingers between his lips, sucking on them for a brief moment. A soft whimper came from me, causing him to laugh. “She tastes good, too,” he hummed.

Kyle carefully dragged his hand down my side, tracing over my waist and hips, before diving back into my pants and underwear. He knew exactly what he was doing, on purposely making me make noises. Because the second he started stroking over my clit, I couldn’t stop any sound that came from my mouth, even with his hand over it.

“This is already better than any dream I had, Kitten,” he murmured in my ear. I swallowed roughly and nodded. He smirked as he gently pushed a finger into me, quickly followed by a second. “If you’re quiet I’ll move my hand.”

I hummed as I closed my eyes, my head lolling to the side. Kyle dragged his hand from my mouth, sliding it down to my chest. My lips stayed between my teeth, forcing myself to be quiet as he started massaging my breasts.

“D-Don’t stop, whatever you do… Please k-keep going,” I struggled to say as his movements hastened. His thumb carefully brushed against my clit, causing me to push my head back into the bed beneath me.

“You like this, don’t you?” Kyle laughed lightly. I could feel my chest lifting away from the bed the heavier my breath grew. “How long has it been since you’ve been touched like this? Since you’ve been used?”

“Kyle, Kyle, please,” I bit down on my lower lip. I brought one of my hands to rest over my mouth, while the other held his arm.

“I’d call you a desperate, but I’m the one having sex dreams of you.”

The funny thing is… I was desperate. Even though he was the one having the sex dreams, I was the one having the thoughts when I was awake. And a lot of the thoughts were hoping this would happen. Guess we’re bothing having dreams coming true.

It was only a matter of moments before I was finishing over his hand. My eyes stayed closed as I tried catching up with time. And in the few moments I had, Kyle had climbed off the bed and quickly undressed, leaving me still in my pajamas. I didn’t feel rushed, but I hated that I was still wearing clothes.

Once I had my moment of recollection, I sat up, peeling my shirt off and kicking my pants to the floor. I was too busy undressing to even notice that Kyle was staring at me, watching my quickness and excitement. But when I finally did sit back and look at him, he was watching me with a smirk on his lips.

I tried not to let my eyes linger on his body for too long. When I noticed his hard length, I couldn’t help but stare. Then he laughed, forcing me to look up at his face and swallow roughly.

“No, please, keep staring,” he muttered with a smirk. I slowly blinked before shaking my head, silently lifting my hand to him. I could feel my sudden neediness radiating off my body, surely Kyle could sense it from where he was standing.

When he didn’t move, I slowly moved my legs apart, making it so there was space for him to kneel comfortably. He smirked again before crawling onto the bed, coming right up to my face.

“Tell me, Kitten, how badly do you want this,” he whispered against my lips. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before nodding. “Use your words. I trust you know how. You were pretty vocal a few moments ago.”

“I don’t think you understand, Officer, how bad I need you,” I murmured as I looked up at him. The corner of his lips twitched at the nickname I had so lovingly given him. “Only you can help me.”

“Damn right I am,” he muttered before roughly pressing his lips to mine. I threw my arms around his neck as he moved so his length was pressing against me. My breathing stuttered slightly before I began gasping for air as he very slowly entered me.

Once he was fully sheathed in me, Kyle knelt straight up. I stared at him, watching as he hooked his arms under my knees. With that, he managed to press deeper into me, inciting a moan from me.

“More,” I tried to whisper as I looked up at him. His eyes locked with mine for a moment before rolling his hips into mine. He fell into a steady rhythm, hitting the right spots at just the right times.

Any conversation between us ceased to exist, leaving us with struggling moans and gasps for breath. My hands ran over my body, trying to relieve myself of something.

Kyle dropped one of my legs, bringing his hand to between my legs. My head fell back before rolling to rest against my shoulder, feeling the eventual relief in my abdomen.

“You feel so good, Kitten,” Kyle mumbled before dropping my other leg and coming back down to my face. I huffed out a breath of air before lifting a hand to his head. “Better than anything I could ever imagine,” he added before pressing his lips to mine. I hummed, pushing my fingers through his hair.

“I’m gon-gonna cum,” I whined before biting my teeth into his shoulder. Kyle ran his hands up my back before pulling me close.

“Yeah?” he groaned into my ear. I nodded as my breathing grew ragged. “Me too,” he added as his movements grew faulty. He pressed his forehead to mine, his heavy breath fanning across my skin. My eyes stayed glued to his.

“Do it, please do it,” I whimpered. Kyle’s eyes grew darker the moment the heaviness of my words hit him. I don’t think I was supposed to notice his brief pause, but I did. “I’m serious.”

“You know what-”

“God, Kyle, I know. I know what it’ll mean,” I cut him off, lifting my back up into his body. He looked at me for a brief moment before capturing my lips in a gentle kiss. I threw my arms around his neck, holding him close to me.

“If that’s what you want,” he moaned, his movements turning sloppy. I knew I wasn’t about to last long. “Someone’s gotta have my kid.”

“Let it be me then,” I cried out. My legs wrapped around his waist, keeping him in place. “Please.” My whole body tensed around his as my head fell back as I tried to keep quiet. Kyle looked down at me before putting his hand over my mouth. Then a warmth- that I didn’t realize that I missed- grew in my stomach.

Kyle fell, laying against my body. With that, we fell into silence. The only sound was our heavy breathing and the sounds of crickets outside. The silence was nice though.

“My mother better not find out about this,” Kyle said after an eternity. I laughed and shook my head.

“Then you better hope I don’t end up pregnant, because she’ll find out eventually,” I sighed deeply as I brought my hands to hold the back of his head. His body stiffened before he lifted his head to look down at me.

“I’ll tell her in the morning.”

“Well you don’t have to do that,” I laughed. He stared at me for a moment. “You tell her she’ll probably break us apart. And, well, like I said earlier… Someone’s gotta repopulate the world.”

“No, yeah, you’re right. She’d probably kill me if she found out we’re having sex,” he stated before trying to move away from me. “Actually I think she’d kill me then pray I come back to life for that kid.”

“I’m not living through someone trying to eat me twice.”

“I can change that,” he teased with a smile. I stared at him once I realized what he meant.

“Tomorrow night please. I’m so tired.”

“If you say so,” Kyle laughed before slipping out of the bed.

Some months after the apocalypse ended

“You look mighty dashing in that uniform, Officer.” I looked at Kyle as I smoothed out the few wrinkles in his shirt. I tried my hardest to hold the young boy in my arms the moment he became fussy.

“Don’t start that now. I can’t be late,” Kyle warned as he looked back at me. I smiled and shrugged.

I looked up at Kyle with a soft smile on my lips. Although our son was young, he tried to blindly reach out for his father, but failed as he was just out of the child’s reach. “Be safe out there,” I whispered before pressing my lips to his.

“Of course I will.”

“Good, because your little man will be pissed if he finds out you’re not coming home.” I smiled before kissing him again. “But I think I’ll be even more pissed than your kid.”

“Please. I’ll come home in one piece, with no bites.”

“You better, Officer.” I smirked again.

“Well since you asked so nicely,” Kyle scoffed before rolling his eyes. I smiled and nodded.

“Good luck out there. Judy’s making dinner so be home in a timely manner.”

“Okay, for real, I gotta go. See you later, Little Man.” Kyle smiled as he rubbed the top of his son’s head. I smiled before puckering my lips. “And I’ll be home before you know it.” He quickly pecked my lips. “Love you.”

“Yeah, yeah, love you too. See ya later.” I swung our son over to my other hip, resting him gently on my hip. I turned around and slowly walked back up to our home.

“It’s not too soon for another one, is it?!” He shouted from the end of the driveway. I turned and looked at him as I made it to the front door.

“If anything, we can practice!”

if you want to be a part of a taglist (lmk if ur 18+ for smut) or have any comments about this one-shot, let me know here

taglist: @thebluetint @muffin-cup @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto @spencersmagic  @spenciegoob @flipperpenguins @broken-stardust​ 

[dancingazaleas]

zeke yeager | my baby

this is bc of the new episode; i’ve known his backstory for a while but i didn’t come up with the idea until now LFMAOOAOA

anyways zeke supremacy

edit: this is so bad but enjoy LMFOAOAOA

warnings/notes: this is strictly platonic, takes place in canonverse during zeke’s childhood then to the beginning of season 4, cursing, mentions of mental abuse from family, murder, fem!reader(feel free to change if u want), yeah i’m unoriginal and the reader is the female titan before annie, angst,

when you first met zeke, zeke was extremely hesitant towards you.

grisha and dina had brought you into the house, a 17 year old girl who had soft and gentle eyes along with a nice smile. zeke had recognized you from the warrior program. you hadn’t inherited your titan just yet, you still had a few more years before they would allow it to be given to you. your predecessor gained the titan around your age, no one really knows why. zeke assumes that it must be a similar case with mr. ksaver and himself.

it shocked zeke in all honesty. they’re letting a warrior watch over him? one that isn’t in cahoots with his mother and father?

it wasn’t until grisha and dina pulled him into a different room and told him to get information on your views that he understood why. they wanted to use you, just like they wanted to use zeke. the worst of it all was that zeke knows you. he looks up to you, you graduated third out of all of your peers, you express love with the younger candidates such as zeke.

he felt like curling up in his bed and crying, he didn’t want you to babysit him just so his parents could use you.

but whenever the couple left, your arms encased him in warmth. you were hugging him tightly to you, fingernails surely digging into the fabric of his shirt. he felt his eyes widen whenever he felt a drop of a liquid on his shoulder. you were crying.

you pulled away and put a hand on his cheek, looking at him with endearment. zeke started crying at this, not once had dina touched him like this. not once had grisha looked at him like this.

“it’s okay, my boy,” you pull him close again, “i’m here.”

for the first time, zeke wasn’t cowering in a corner while he sobbed. he sobbed in the arms of a person, one that loved him dearly whether he knew it or not. you were even crying for him.

“my mother and father were apart of the same group,” you whispered as you stroked his hair, “they pushed me so far to my limits.”

“so, i did something i regret,” you sob, “something i hope you’re never forced to do.”

your whimper gave him chills, “i murdered my mother with a butcher knife and pinned the crime onto my father. all at the age of ten. to this day, i don’t know how i got away with it. maybe the police pitied me or found it excusable because of their affiliations with the group.”

“you hurt someone,” he sniffles, eyes widened in fear.

it gave you a frown, however you couldn’t blame him, “i did. it was mistake and i wish i had never done it. i just wished for my mother and father to love me, not to use me. after that, i found myself in the warrior program. maybe with this power, i could do some good. to show marley that us eldians are not devils.”

you rid him of his snot and tears with your shirt, “when i saw your father the time he came to observe you, i was immediately able to tell. your reaction had said it all. i can’t allow myself to witness you go through what i did without doing something. even if it’s small.”

he blinks at you after you softly kiss him on his forehead.

“now, is there anything you want to do?”

————

that afternoon, you played catch and volleyball with zeke. after that, you bought him whatever meal he wanted from the market and ate with him at the table. he told you about his stuffed monkey, who he named jerry, and his adventures.

he was sad when you had to leave, to which dina and grisha informed him you would come to their home sparingly. although he was delighted, he was also sad.

the next day, you doted on him during the short breaks between his training. patting his head, shaking him by his shoulders, and giving him a hug. when lunch came around, you pulled out a home cooked lunch for him as you sat on a bench. you would give him advice with training and his health while he ate.

he even shared some of his food with her.

after that was his time with ksaver. he didn’t see you during that time, obviously, but that didn’t mean you didn’t come during their conversations.

zeke was surprised to hear the praising from ksaver. ksaver said that you were a good figure for him and that you had a genuine heart. it made him feel at ease.

when the day was over, you walked zeke home and even ate dinner with him and his parents. it was a surprise that made you slightly bitter, but you accepted nonetheless.

they talked to you excitedly, asking about your duties as a warrior. you exceptionally avoided answering the questions, instead prodding at their own occupations and duties.

in the end, it felt like a game of tag. avoiding and then charging.

the night you were on your way to watch zeke, you felt your heart drop at the feral screeching of grisha and the reassurance of dina. you banged your fist against the door worriedly, sweat forming at your hairline.

the yelling stopped and you heard the patter of footsteps against the floor. dina looked flustered as she opened the door, face tear stained and eyebrows knitted up in concern.

“oh, (name), we don’t need you to watch over him anymore.”

“no, please, allow me,” you put on a fake smile that made her relax.

“you can take him out for a bit,” she, surprisingly, compromised and stepped aside to let you inside.

you bolted to zeke’s dark room. he was in a corner with his knees pushed against his chest and his hands covering his ears. his tears were making puddles on his knees as he stared blankly at the wall. you rush to him, pulling his head into your chest and picking him up.

“it’s alright,” you whispered, “you’ll be with me for a little bit.”

he didn’t respond but just wiped his eyes when he realized he would pass by his mom. you gave dina a brisk goodbye before leaving and taking him to a nearby park.

“it’s alright, my boy, it’s alright,” you coo and stroke his sweaty back.

for once, he felt okay.

————

the day zeke reported his parents, you held him in your arms. from then, he stayed with his grandparents and often found himself spending time with you after training when his schedule allowed it.

now, zeke is 16 and you’re 29. zeke was often seen with you or ksaver during his free time, now having the power of the best titan secured when ksaver’s term is up.

you mentor a girl named annie leonhardt, the next inheritor of the female titan. zeke occasionally sees you and annie catching some bugs in the grass during your mentoring. other days, you talk to her or just look at the sky. once at the beginning of the year, he once saw you take annie ice skating over a lake.

when he spends his time with you, you’re often doting on him and taking care of him. one time, you convinced the kids and some of the older soldiers to all play a game of baseball after your training was over.

you walked the extra mile for zeke no matter what. zeke was in trouble during a war and you swatted him into the trenches with your hand before attacking the enemy a year ago. whenever zeke would get hurt, you’d be his nurse.

if zeke’s being honest, you’re the maternal figure in his life. you act as if he’s your son, love him like he’s your son, and sometimes you even let it slip and call him that. sometimes zeke messes up and calls you mom.

in your eyes, he is your son.

in his eyes, you’re his mom.

but with being a parental figure came with fighting. it didn’t happen often, but whenever it did it was bad. zeke would become more irritable and angry while you would become reserved and melancholy.

when zeke was 14, you got into a fight so bad that it ended up getting you bedridden. you’d been sick from stress and it lasted for weeks until zeke swallowed his pride and apologized.

it almost made bertholdt, annie, reiner, porco, pieck, and marcel laugh at how domestic the two of you are when together. but as soon as you left zeke’s side, he would revert back to his quiet and receptive personality.

“zeke, my boy,” you call as you walk towards all the warrior candidates, “i’ve got your favorite.”

“thanks,” he hums when you stand beside him.

“i also brought some food for you all too. since we didn’t have training today, i thought you all could enjoy a nice break by having a picnic,” you clap your hands with a smile and they all feel like they’re seeing an angel.

they all agree and follow behind you when you start leading them towards a grassy field. you set the basket down and rummage through it, pulling out a nice thick blanket so the blades of the grass wouldn’t poke through.

“help me lay this out,” zeke sighs but obliges.

with zeke’s help, everyone is sitting on the blanket and eating and conversing. you listen quietly as you chew on the sandwich you made.

“miss (name),” pieck’s soft voice said beside you, “thank you for the picnic.”

you smile and shake your head, cheeks puffing out from the food that’s still in your mouth.

“can we do this again,” shyly asks reiner.

you gulp down your food and choke a bit, “y-yes! of course!”

you turn to zeke and speak quietly, “how was training yesterday?”

“it was fine. my calves are kind of sore though, it’s been a while since we did squats,” he shrugs and looks up, “ksaver let me pitch to him again.”

“i’m assuming it was at least enjoyable?”

“yeah...,” he trails off, “could you massage my calves for me in a little while?”

you pinch his cheek as you laugh, “of course! anything for you, my child.”

he chuckles while he swats at your hand, “quit that. it hurts.”

before you could pinch him even harder, porco’s loud voice interrupted.

“miss (name), are you zeke’s mom?”

his brother and annie hit him, scolding him in whispers.

“i-i’m so sorry miss (name)..! my brother means no harm,” marcel stutters nervously.

“it’s alright, i don’t mind,” zeke’s slightly flustered, “but no, i’m not zeke’s mother.”

“so why do you act so friendly?”

“i met zeke when i was 17 and he was just a little boy. i would watch him while his grandparents were away,” you lie like it’s nothing.

“i’ve always seen zeke as my little boy though even if i’m only 13 years older,” it has them all gaping and zeke staring at his food.

“why’d you become a warrior then,” reiner blurts out, slapping a hand over his mouth in shame, “sorry... but with all due respect, you have a family you love and who love you... why would you let your life end so short?”

for just a second the smile on your face cracks into a frown as you feel your throat tighten up, “why are you asking such disrespectful questions? i understand you have no malicious intent, however it sounds as if you are seeing my decision as an ignorant one. are you calling me ignorant for becoming a warrior?”

zeke just looks away sadly. you never really had to put on this demanding ploy too much since no one dared to ask a question such as reiner did. not to mention that you had to in order to keep your position. reiner scrambles to pledge his loyalty to marley with your eyes burning holes into his head.

the others slightly cower in fear, they’d only ever heard that you could be like this from their mentors. but when they all looked in your, now, sad eyes, they relaxed.

“but, to answer your question,” you say reluctantly, “i was already selected to inherit the female titan.”

“now,” you cough and zeke knows it’s because you want to cry, “i need to go.”

they all help you get everything together, fidgeting anxious as they watch you walk back to the dorm. when you were far enough away, porco shouts at reiner for asking such questions and ruining the picnic. it ends up with annie joining in with the berating and marcel slapping porco upside the head.

zeke just leaves and follows you. he can’t be bothered to listen to them argue while you’re probably crying.

zeke knew it was about your 13 years coming to an end, meaning you wouldn’t be with him anymore. the first time he brought it up, you sobbed out apologies while holding his head to your chest. zeke knows not to bring it up again.

however, reiner didn’t. although he was slightly frustrated with reiner, he understood that he meant no harm to you. sometimes reiner just doesn’t think before he speaks.

zeke finds you with your head in your hands as you cry on your bed. the creaking of the door opening has you looking up and making eye contact and your eyes fill up with tears. zeke shut the door behind him and sat next to you after you pat the spot beside you.

zeke knows what’s going to happen, but allows it anyways because it puts you both at ease.

you cradle his head to your chest, stroking his hair with one hand and his back with another. zeke feels himself starting to cry when you cry out apologies and exclamations of love.

“zeke, my boy, i love you,” you whimper, “i’m so sorry i cannot be by your side until i grow old.”

zeke’s fingers curl into the fabric of your shirt and let’s out a broken sob.

“you’re the light of my life, zeke,” you whisper, “my beautiful boy, my beautiful baby.”

his shoulders shake and he wanted to tell you to stop and to pull away. but he won’t.

“you’re the son i never had, zeke, did you know that,” you sob and squeeze him tight.

it has him wailing and holding you tight. though zeke knew this, you never said it out loud.

“my baby, my baby,” you croak, “i love you so much, zeke.”

“love you too,” he chokes out, muffled by your shirt.

“zeke, my boy, my son, my zeke.”

“please don’t leave me,” it makes you sob even louder.

“i’m so sorry, zeke, i’m so sorry.”

————

zeke couldn’t look in annie’s direction after your term ended and her’s started. even at 29 years of age, he still curls up in a ball and cries himself to sleep. he carries a photograph of the two of you, he remembers taking the picture on your 26th birthday.

back on marley, whenever you were brought up in conversations, reiner, porco, and pieck stared at him with sympathy.

after zeke’s arms grow back on the blimp, he pulls out the folded photograph from his pocket. he stares at your beaming smile.

“who’s the girl,” eren asks, ignoring how yelena looks at him fiercely, “when’d you get a girlfriend?”

zeke shakes his head, “not a girlfriend.”

“who is she then,” eren gestures with his hand, the clinking of the metal chains echoing in the small room on the blimp.

“my mother,” he murmurs while he hands it to eren.

“dina doesn’t look like that.”

“eren, did you ever see a memory of a woman being introduced as a babysitter?”

“now that it’s being mentioned, yea.”

“that’s her,” the memory has him chuckling, “she treated me like her son before she died.”

eren transfers his gaze to yelena, a silent request for her to give more information.

“(name) (last name) was the inheritor of the female titan before annie leonhardt. she inherited the titan a few months after she turned 17, her predecessor, flora, was unexpectedly injured during war and was not able to regenerate. although disorganized and unexpected, (name) managed to eat flora. she died at the age of 30 when annie ate her as a pure titan,” yelena elaborates hesitantly as zeke’s small smile fades, “she was often recognized for her kind personality and optimistic attitude.”

“i see,” he said.

“were you her beautiful boy,” eren taunts.

“yes. i was.”

he sounds sad while he folds it back up and puts it in his pocket.

maybe he could be the same to eren.

[janaeekook]

.Crimson lace.

pairing: bestfriend!seonghwa x reader (f)

warnings: dom!seonghwa, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex (be safe kids)

word count: 4.9k

The roads were winding, twisting through the expansive mountain scape around you, Small flakes of snow falling along the road. You were in the passenger seat of your best friends car, the radio softly playing some pop song that Seonghwa seemed to know word for word.

It was that time of year, Seonghwa's family and their annual trip to their cabin. The past years you and Seonghwa had gone up a day earlier than the rest of his family to take up all the supplies for the week and check that the generator still worked properly.

"So what movies are we going to watch tonight?" You asked, curious as to what we would do before his parents, aunts, uncles, siblings and cousins came up tomorrow.

"I'll leave that to you." He said glancing over to you from the drivers seat. You smiled widely, knowing which movies you'd pick for the movie night that had become a tradition.

The smile that masked your face didn't fade as you watched each dainty snowflake powder from the sky. It was exquisitely beautiful, the grey early January sky, the chill of the outdoors cut off by the cars heat and the warm starbucks coffee that warmed you from the inside.

You hummed tugging your legs into a crossed position in the seat, the paper cup still in your clutch. You inspected the glove box, nothing but crumpled napkins, registration and a small first aid kit.

"We're almost there." Seonghwa informed you.

"How did you-"

"You act like I haven't known you my whole life." He chuckled, "You get antsy after long car rides."

You chuckled, forgetting that Seonghwa was indeed your bestfriend, and had been for years. He knew practically everything about you, neither of you ever saw each other as more than bestfriends bound at the hip.

He'd seen you half naked, passed out drunk on the bathroom floor, three times through the notebook after your first breakup, and he was by your side through all of it. Nursing you to health, loving you when you thought no one would, and giving you endless support when your dad passed away.

His parents were the same growing up, knowing your mom was busy working overtime to pay the bills; you'd stay over, that was when you and Seonghwa really grew close, you sleeping on the floor of his dragon themed bedroom.

As your mind continued to reminisce, the car was pulling up to the large cabin, It was large enough to house all 17 of us with its 7 bedrooms. The parents and grandparents got their rooms, the younger kids shared rooms, the girls in one and boys in the other. But as you and Seonghwa got older you started sharing the last bedroom.

It wasn't weird for you, you'd been sharing a bedroom and bed with him since you were both 4. His relatives however always asked if the two of you were dating, and you'd laugh it off because to the two of you it was utterly ridiculous.

You stretched your tired limbs when you stepped from the warmth of Seonghwa's car into the brisk outside winter air, "We made it!" You exclaimed lightly in excitement.

Seonghwa's chuckle sounded warm enough to melt the falling snow all away, "Did you doubt we would?"

You shrugged, grabbing one of the many large boxes of food and supplies that were piled in the back of his car.

"You're a scary driver." You teased, feigning fright. He smacked your arm before grabbing a box as well.

"Excuse me I am a wonderful driver."

You giggled, stopping promptly as you reached the entry way, Seonghwa taking his keys and unlocking the large wooden door. You took a deep breath in as you stepped through the door, the cabin always had a distinct smell a mixture of sandalwood and crisp apple.

"Wait!" You gasped making Seonghwa who stood in the kitchen whip around to look at you in slight concern which quickly faded upon studying your face. Bright eyes and an excited smile as you continued to hold onto the box of food.

"What?" He couldn't contain the contagious smile that spread across his face.

"Can we make a fort for our movie night?"

"Let's get everything inside, and the generator going, first and then talk about the plan for the night, ok?" He said and you nodded quickly in agreement. He watched as you skipped back out the door, and he couldn't help the smile that drew at his lips.

Anyone watching them could see the love and adoration in his eyes, anyone and everyone, except you. Seonghwa had started to feel more for you, he loved you and he wanted you to know. But you were oblivious to the signs he'd been displaying the past 2 years. Sometimes he grew frustrated and just wanted to grab your face and kiss you— but at what cost? What if you didn't feel the same?

Well he knew you didn't, he was just your bestfriend and nothing more. He never tested that boundary for fear of losing you, he could never picture a life without you, it just didn't make sense.

"Hwa!" He was pulled from his thoughts by your voice, "Get out here and help me."

He chuckled, "Ya, ya." Following your words out the door

.

The generator rolled with a start, humming lightly. Seonghwa stood dusting off his hands as he stood from his previously squat position before leaving the small shed with a huff of satisfaction hurrying the short distance back to the insulated cabin.

"You got it?" You asked the second you heard him come through the door.

"Try the lights." he said, and so you did, the dark room quickly being illuminated by the warm light.

"Haha! Look at that!" You exclaimed, he always loved the excitement you got from the smallest things. Lights, electricity, something so simple and everyday and yet it brought you the upmost joy.

He wanted to tell you how cute you were, "Aww is someone afraid of the dark?" He joked instead.

"Very funny, If I recall correctly you were the one that just had to have his Spiderman night light plugged in."

He scoffed, "At least I don't cry at the sight of an insect."

"Arachnophobia is a very real thing, Seonghwa."

"Then I hope none are lurking around the cabin." He said in an attempted spooky voice, wiggling his fingers as he moved his arm toward you, which you proceeded to hit out of the way. You stuck your tongue out at him.

"Jackass." You said, and he only replied with his melodic laugh, You threw a folded blanket at his chest, "Now help me with the fort."

You both threw blankets over the couch and propped them on various chairs from about the cabin. Purposely leaving the fluffiest and nicest blankets for the inside, where you also strung fairy lights randomly. It was as magical and cuddly-cozy-warm as ever. You climbed in wrapping yourself in a blanket then opened your laptop in front of you, Seonghwa joining with an armful of snacks.

You hummed, grabbing a handful of popcorn, "You know the way to my heart, Park."

"Its like I'm your bestfriend or something."

"Hm, so 10 Things I Hate About You, ya?"

"Whatever makes you happy." He said with a smile. That's all he wished, for you to be happy, and if sitting here with you in a makeshift fort of blankets and fairy lights, with snacks that were bad for you and cheesy hallmark movies, was what made you happy— then so be it. If you insisted, he would sit there all the days of his life with you.

He sighed lightly to himself, You've got it bad Seonghwa. He thought, though he knew, he'd known. Falling helplessly in love with his bestfriend, who saw him as just that, her bestfriend.

How truly infuriating it must be for him to see you look at others and not even consider him. Though that wasn't your fault. You didn't know. He wished you'd notice, but you still hadn't. It had been years, every holiday, coming up to the cabin— falling asleep next to the other.

He looked over to you, your eyes shut and lips parted slightly. It was unbelievable, you always insisted on a movie night but Seonghwa knew you'd be asleep by the end of the first. That's just how you worked; he studied your sleeping face with a smile, tuning out the movie. He thought you looked beautiful, truly.

Unconsciously you scooted toward Seonghwa's warmth. His lips forming a sad smile as he watched his sleeping bestfriend cuddle into his chest. You'd always been cuddly, ever since childhood— as if you had been starved of physical affection your entire life. So you'd always found reasons to hug him, or others and be close to them, not wishing them the same fate.

This is how he'd fallen in love with you. Why, he'd fallen in love with you. Simply for you and your heart.

Though he was still a teenage boy, and when he woke up in the middle of the night, that night, heart racing, skin damp with sweat and his boxers straining against him. He wanted to curse at himself, to ignore it and go back to sleep. But you moving in your sleep forced him to fight off a moan as your ass pressed against him unintentionally.

He nearly jumped off the floor and right up hurrying to the bathroom, where he shut and locked the door, before leaning against it. He looked at the clock that quietly ticked on the wall, 3:45 am. He sighed, annoyed then pulled his sweatpants down just enough to take himself into his hand, pumping himself as he searched for relief. And he did, cumming over his hand as he whispered your name.

.

The next morning you woke up, Seonghwa no longer next to you. You looked out of the fort finding him sitting on an uncovered part of the couch, eyes fixated on the TV.

"Seonghwa?" You croaked out, he turned to glance at you, his cheeks red but you assumed it was from the cold, "What's going on?" He didn't actually respond just turned up the volume on the TV.

Breaking: All roads on the highway north are closed after an unexpected snow storm dumped at least 5 feet of snow in the middle of the night, authorities are advising residents to be patient as they work to clear the roads.

"We're snowed in." He finally said.

"So- what does that mean about your family coming up?"

"They're not." His voice seemed strained, as if full of dread.

"Jeez, I can't be that awful to be around." You joked before stalking off into the kitchen to make some breakfast.

What you didn't know however was what truly was going through his head. This had to have been some twisted fate the universe had placed on him, working to test his strength in the process. How long could he hold out? How long could he restrain himself in these close quarters? Maybe it was the cold getting to his head, making him weaker.

"Do you want pancakes or waffles?" You asked from the kitchen, effectively knocking Seonghwa from his trance.

"Did you really just ask me that question?" He seemed borderline offended.

"Who else?" You snorted

"Waffles are 100 times better than pancakes, you know that." He stood walking into the kitchen and standing on the opposite side of the island.

"Excuse me? Pancakes are so much better than waffles, they're fluffy."

"But everything just spills off the top, waffles have indents to capture all of that flavor so you don't miss any of it. Plus pancakes are always raw in the center."

"Are not!" You turned around facing him fully now.

"Why'd you even ask me then if you like pancakes better."

"I don't know, maybe because I thought it was a simple question." You retaliated.

"Are we really fighting about pancakes and waffles?"

"Yes, now you can make your own breakfast."

"You're a pain in the ass." He said walking around the island and grabbing cereal from the cabinet.

"Dido." You said in a sing-song voice and smiled at him. He sighed, shaking his head at you with a smile across his own lips. This was what your friendship had always consisted of, joking play fights and comments. You were probably more comfortable around Seonghwa than your own family, partly because he felt like family to you. You threw a chocolate chip at him as he sat at the counter and you wondered in that moment what you would do without your bestfriend. The rest of the day passed at a snails pace, being snowed in only making you more aware of how seemingly little there was to do in the rather large cabin. You danced to music in the living room as Seonghwa laughed saying that you had 'not a single dancer bone in your body' to which you answered him by throwing a pillow at his head. That had led to a merciless pillow fight between you, which of course he ultimately won. Later in the day You sat, reading a book on the couch. You weren't exactly sure what the book was about, you had simply found it on the book shelf. It was interesting, interesting enough for you not to register that your bestfriend had entered the room again after having gone to change.

"Hey," He said, grabbing your attention, "I'm gonna go out, check the main roads. You gonna be ok?" Seonghwa asked pulling gloves onto his hands.

"Ya, I'll be fine." You smiled at him from the couch. When he walked out the door and you heard it close behind him you dropped the book, you needed to shower, and it'd just be easier if Seonghwa was out while you did.

You threw your hair in a bun as to keep it dry, stepping into the running water and washing your body. It was hot against your skin, and you sighed as your body relaxed. You took your time as the water ran over you. The past day had been a whirl-wind of surprises, with all the snow, we were able to call Seonghwa's family with the land line, but other than that there was no reception, No clear way to get home as the snow blocked the roads. The plows hadn't made it through the back roads. It wasn't too awful being stuck with Seonghwa-- if it was anyone other than your bestfriend you think you'd have pulled out all your hair already.  

Though not having your alone time already had you cranky, you sighed, washing your body. Finally feeling clean you shut off the water and stepped out, standing on the small shower mat you looked into the mirror, You allowed your eyes to scan you body decorated with water droplets. You felt-- pretty, as if your insecurities had been washed away, and saw your body for what it was, you. You smiled lightly before grabbing a towel and drying your skin. You left the humid bathroom and went to the bedroom, kneeling in front of your suitcase in hopes of finding something comfortable to wear. Though when you flipped open the lid you saw the crimson lace. You felt heat rush to your cheeks at the thought of why you even packed the scandalous piece of thin fabric. What were you even hoping to accomplish?  

You lifted the lingerie up, you bit your lip lightly, Seonghwa wasn't there it'll be fine if you wore if for a bit. right? You sighed again before you stood, dropping the towel, and letting it pool at your ankles. You pulled on the matching lace set, before looking over yourself in the full length mirror in the bedroom. It fit perfectly, and boy did it make your confidence soar. You felt empowered by your own body, beautiful. Any supposed imperfection, that prompted insecurities in your heart and mind, a mere reminder of how uniquely beautiful you were.

You weren't sure how long you stood there. But your heart stopped when the door was pushed open. Though you didn't yell, you didn't even move to cover yourself. No, you weren't frozen but deep down, you wanted him to see you-- even if you hadn't realized it.

"Hey, Y/n, the roads-" but he stopped mid-sentence when he was welcomed to the sight of you in next to nothing. His eyes seemed to cloud with a dark lust, you held your breath, he stepped closer, the tips of his fingers grabbed at one of the straps. His eyes fleeting over your body once more, as his fingers traced the crimson lace that covered your breast. His intense gaze met yours again when his hand fell away from your chest.

"What are you doing to me?" His voice a low whisper.

"You said you went to check the roads." Your cheeks burned in embarrassment, the way your bestfriends eyes ran over your body, drinking up each curve. It should have made you uncomfortable, but you couldn't help but feel desire creep into your thoughts.

"That was an hour ago."

"Oh." was all you could find in your mind to say. It was silent for a few beats before you decided to speak again, "Seonghwa."

"I need you to let me know if you're uncomfortable, because, I really don't want to hold back right now." You'd never heard Seonghwa sound so sultry before to someone, let alone yourself.

The whine that involuntarily slipped past your lips encouraged him to step forward and entrap your lips with his. It was a searing kiss, he pushed you back against the small desk that was behind you in the small bedroom.

You felt as the red lace of your panties pooled with arousal, your cheeks flushed, wondering how your childhood bestfriend made your body feel so uncontrollably hot, without even so much as a touch to your skin. He hiked you onto the small desk nudging your legs apart with his knee so he could stand between them.

"Was this your plan? Hm? Get me to lose control and fuck you?" His fingers traced your jaw hooking lightly under your chin, forcing your eyes to meet. His eyes held a hard questioning gaze, you tried to shake your head no but he held your chin in place, "Use your words."

"No- no hwa."

"No? You sure darling? You just happened to be wearing this?"

"Yes." Your tone was soft as your confidence, for the first time since you were children, wavered under his gaze.

The corner of his lip quirked up lightly, "Am I making you nervous darling?" His cocky tone oozing from each word.

"Seonghwa-" your voice breathy as you looked up into his eyes, his fingers moved over the wet patch on your red lace panties.

"That needy baby? Hm?" He asked when you whined.

"Please."

"Please what?"

"Make me feel good."

Nothing more needed to be said as his lips were on yours again need and want burning between you. You'd never felt it before, you'd never wanted someone to touch you intimately so badly, especially not Seonghwa. But there was something forbidden about his touch that made your body hot with desire.

He got to his knees before you, his face now parallel with your cunt. He kissed over the thin fabric and your breath shuddered. He thought you looked beautiful, the red lace complimenting your skin tone perfectly.

"God you're perfect." And with that he pushed the barrier of fabric to the side running his tongue through your slick folds. The noises you made only further expressing how needy you really were, it felt wrongfully right. His mouth on you bringing you to the edge quicker than you imagined possible and it was just his tongue, he didn't need anything more to pleasure you.

"S-seonghwa-" your head lulled back in response to the overwhelming pleasure, your eyes squeezing shut, your ears tuning into the wet noises eliciting from between your legs.

Your head snapping back to the man between your legs when he pulled away. You whined with a solid pout on your lips having not finished.

"Not yet." Was all he said, wiping his chin with the back of his hand. He pulled you from the desk, his lips finding yours again as he pushed you back until the backs of your knees hit the edge of the bed. He eased you down onto the plush mattress, your lips never separating.

Removing his clothes you felt his own hot skin against yours. Everything seeming to melt together, the lines of your friendship, your bodies as you pulled eachother closer— feeling your need grow tenfold as his hips grinded down on yours.

Voice breathy in your throat you managed to push his name out, "Seonghwa-"

"Mmm, you sound so pretty saying my name."

"Seonghwa, please." Your voice more stern now, you needed relief from the pulsing between your thighs.

"Begging now, are we?" He smirked as he teased you and you rolled your eyes, "Don't worry darling, I'll make you cum on my cock."

And in that he didn't lie, his lips peppering you neck and collarbones before wrapping around your lace covered nipples. Removing his own clothes eagerly, but he froze.

"Condom-"

"I'm on the pill, Hwa, please don't stop now." The desperation in your voice fueling his own need to be inside you. He craved to feel you warm around him.

Running the head of his cock over you folds caused his breath to catch in his throat, every late-night forbidden fantasy when he laid in his bed alone, dominant hand pumping himself to the thought of you. It was all about to become very real, a shaky moan leaving both your lips as he pressed into you. There was no going back after that, not as you came on him within minutes— no matter how much your head denied your want for him, your body couldn't.

Though when he came, soon after you, he didn't stop. You whined not because it was bad, but because the overstimulation burned in your stomach. It was intoxicating and Seonghwa continued to drill into you. Determination was clear on his face, his lower lip pulled between his teeth. Your eyes met his.

"God, I can't get enough of you." He panted out. Each breath grew sharper as he worked himself to his second consecutive high.

You couldn't speak, your brain was far to hazy, only your moans of pleasure and your thoughts screaming his name. The slapping of skin, over the bed creaking beneath you, and your incessant noises— becoming deafeningly loud.

Though you weren't all too worried about about being too loud. The dense snow covered forest beyond the walls of this cabin hushing it all, "Seonghwa!" Had only been a mere whisper to the trees. What had just happened between you and your bestfriend? You couldnt really say-- and he couldnt either as you both tugged on your clothes again. Neither one of you having any clue how to start the conversation at large. Though Seonghwa's voice finally broke the silence.

"That was-" He paused searching for the right word to use.

"Really good." You finished for him, another lapse of silence passed.

"I'll just- go and start a fire." Seonghwa said before leaving the room.

"I'll make dinner." You spoke quicker than you normally would and rushed off to find solitude in the kitchen. In the privacy of your own minds you thought the same thing, What was that? And why did you want more? Though was there even more to ask for when you'd seemed to have done everything?

The two of you slept separately that night, not wanting to fall into the temptation of the others skin. At least not before you figured everything out. But as you laid alone in the bed, and he in the living room in front of the fire, all that either of you could think of was your bodies pressed snuggly to the others. How it felt to have him inside you, the feeling of his hot lips on your skin. It was loud in your thoughts, and every time you tried to push it down and settle your heart, It only got louder. Sleep did eventually come to you, albeit reluctantly. It was rather short lived, you waking up to Seonghwa shaking you awake.

"They cleared the roads, my mom said we should just head home." You nodded in understanding, before watching his back as he left the room, studying the way he moved. It was effortless, graceful. You shook your head, bringing you back to reality.

By the time you were ready, Seonghwa had already had the car fully packed. You could sense that he was eager to get back home and have time for himself to think, and you didn't blame him because you wanted the same thing. You didn't want to walk on egg shells and give each other the silent treatment any longer. Yes, you wanted to figure it all out and for things to go back to normal between you two. But you couldn't help the instinct to run and hide because the feelings in your heart scared you. You'd grown so comfortable knowing Seonghwa as your bestfriend, that you weren't sure of how to react to that security changing overnight. That, your bestfriend could be more than that of a bestfriend.

.

It was January and the start of the last semester of senior year. A week and a half since you'd slept with you bestfriend. Seonghwa had effectively been avoiding you and you weren't exactly searching for him either, you didn't know how to start that conversation.

'hey, I know we broke every rule in the book between us but, bestfriends still?' You knew it simply wouldn't be that easy. The things he said, the way he touched you, and made you feel. The emotions now a constant linger in your mind.

You couldn't just move on like it were nothing, because it wasn't nothing. Maybe it hadn't been the best idea but you couldn't help but think, that you wanted it again. More of him, if that were even possible. You'd never thought you'd think of Hwa that way, not in a million years. Though you didn't know how to face him. But not seeing and talking to him after being so vulnerable with each other made your heart ache.

It wasn't until he showed up at your door on that rainy Saturday afternoon, that you saw him. Your heart picking up in speed. His wet hair sticking to his forehead, had he always looked this good doing something so simple? Wearing something so simple? You were sure he could hear your heart pounding in your chest.

"We need to talk." He said, almost as if he was trying to convince himself, he continued as he stepped through the door, "I can't- we can't avoid this anymore. I'm sorry, y/n, I shouldn't have came onto you like that, god I should've known this would mess everything up."

"Seonghwa-"

"You were vulnerable and I let my feelings get the better of me," he hung his head, "Y/n I'm so sorry, and you don't have to forgive me."

"Seonghwa, I'm not mad at you." you said quickly so he wouldn't interrupt you again.

"Then why are you avoiding me?"

"Why are you?" You asked softly, trying to convey your thoughts, you sighed, "You're just as scared to face these feelings as I am."

His head snapped up and his eyes found yours for, what seemed to be, the first time since he'd been there. He searched your face for any sign that you weren't serious, he came up empty handed. Had you both been feeling this?

"You-?" His eyes continued to search yours, He had so many questions, When? Why him?

"-Love you." You finished his thought with a whisper, but he heard you loud and clear. His features visibly seemed to soften before he was kissing you again. You had longed for his lips to be on yours again since the moment they left, for you melted so easily into it.

He pulled back resting his forehead on your own, "I love you too." and he delved in for another kiss, before he quickly pulled back again, "Your mom."

His voice a low whisper with a tone of disappointment. But you only chuckled at him.

"She just left for her 72." You told him, and he smiled, already having plans for your alone time.

"Perfect."

You shook your head at his eagerness as he practically dragged you up the stairs to your room, "You know we'll have to tell our parents eventually right?"

"I know," He said, turning to face you once you were both in you bedroom, "But lets just enjoy this alone time." His palms held your cheeks as he kissed you with such passion it felt as if he'd taken your breath away, But you leaned into his warmth anyway before kicking your door shut with your heel.

As the sun slipped beneath the horizon and the rain poured harder outside, he showed you how much he loved you, he told you, and you fully welcomed the lingering emotions. You became his, in the twisted sheets, the loving kisses, in the noises that escaped from your swollen lips, and the baroque, Crimson Lace.

[lepusrufus]

Double edged scalpel ch.6

ch.1 ch.2 ch.3 ch.4 ch.5

Summary: It's backstory time!

Mandatory warning since this is not a usual thing on my blog so I think a separate warning would be useful, there will be talk of past abuse and alcohol abuse.

----

"Wakey wakey," came the gruff voice from just outside her bedroom door.

It was slightly muffled but more than enough to make her jolt awake, muscle memory taking over the remnants of sleep. She only had one minute to be out the door. It was more than enough though, her routine perfected over years. Get out of bed. Put socks on. Get shoes. Grab the duffel bag. She slept dressed anyways, ready to go at any time.

Or not?

Where were her clothes?

Nevermind that she had time to put something on. Just grab a shirt and pants from the dresser.

Hurried steps took her over the plush carpet. Wasn't it supposed to be a solid grey? Had her mother swapped it for one of their fancier rugs?

That didn't matter right now. Clothes. She needed clothes. When she got to her dresser she stood there, frowning at the bookshelf that now took its place. She didn't even remember acquiring the tomes in front of her, most of them old and with unfamiliar trinkets surrounding them. That's not how her bedroom was arranged. Why wasn't anything in its place? Was Alex playing a prank on her? No, he wouldn't do that.

Time was almost up and she needed some goddamn clothes and to get out and her head was starting to spin-

"Nicole?"

Her eyes snapped back to the bed she had so hastily vacated, Cassandra looking at her concerned.

From the room's entrance came another familiar voice. Bela. "I only wanted to let you know that Daniela wants to go for a hunt tomorrow." Her eyes were averted and as soon as the words left her lips, she turned and shut the door behind her, not waiting for an answer from her sister.

Confusion mixed in with dizziness, but Nicole let out a quiet oh when she fully realized where she was. Cassandra's bedroom. They came here last night and fell asleep. And she was only wearing underwear.

She went to sit on the edge of the bed, head resting in her hands to try alleviate the fog in her brain. She probably looked like hell, but that was the least of her concerns right now.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Came the uncharacteristically soft voice of Cassandra, who had moved from her spot under the blankets and was gently rubbing her back.

"Uh, nothing," Nicole replied, as if she didn't look ready to puke.

Cassandra only pursed her lips and frowned. "You looked like you simultaneously saw a ghost and were ready to fight a ghost."

She swallowed thickly and forced out a laugh. "Oh are we at "tragic backstory" relationship level now?" It was at best a pathetic attempt to change the subject and at worst annoying.

When she looked back at the brunette she was still frowning, but not in annoyance. Her golden eyes sparked with concern, scrutinizing the redhead's face and body language for any clue as to what was wrong. It sent a pang of guilt through Nicole's chest. She took a deep breath and leaned back into Cassandra's touch, trying to collect her thoughts. Where does one even begin to explain this whole mess?

"Have you ever wondered why I came here? To the village?"

"...Not really," she admitted.

Nicole took another deep breath, pulling the words from her mouth as if she were pulling out teeth with pliers.

"My dad, he…he had a bit of a weird business. We never knew the details of it, he never told any of us and we knew better than to snoop, but I do know it had something to do with drugs and was highly illegal."

Staying in one place proved itself a pesky little task, so Nicole stood up and started to collect her clothes from the floor and started dressing. Cassandra instead remained in the same spot, listening intently.

"With a job like that you make enemies by default. And that made him paranoid beyond belief. When me and Alex, my older brother, were children it wasn't that bad. Worst thing he would do was lock our bedroom doors and refuse to let us attend public school."

She narrowed her eyes at a wall, still not wanting to meet Cassandra's gaze. Now that she said it out loud, not that bad sounded pretty bad too. Whatever.

"It started going downhill when I was around…" She pursed her lips, trying to make her brain put together some semblance of a timeline. "Twelve. Yeah twelve. He came bursting into our bedrooms at 2 a.m. saying that someone with a gun had gotten into our house and wanted to kill us. We were mortified. I remember my mom holding me and Alex in the backseat crying while my dad drove us to his secluded cabin in the woods."

"And that became a habit of his. He'd have us do these drills every once in a while and then scream at us if we didn't do everything in under a minute."

"That's so fucking stupid," Cassandra spat, golden eyes gleaming with anger.

Nicole started pacing back and forth, desperate for a distraction. "Oh I know. And after a few years of this I made sure to tell him exactly how much I thought it was bullshit."

Finally coming to terms with the lack of something to do while she talked, Nicole gave up and went back to the bed. She sat down by Cassandra's side, though still avoiding her eyes.

"Do you know what getting punched in the face feels like?"

Cassandra's expression contorted into a disgusted grimace. With the hand not on Nicole's back rubbing comforting circles, she dug talons into the soft fabric of a blanket. She didn't really have an answer because frankly she didn't know. Her body reacted very differently to physical harm and the few that could hurt her wouldn't go for a stupid punch to the face. Nicole kept on talking though, not really looking for an answer.

"That shut me up for a bit. Key word a bit. When he woke me up on the night before an important test I was pissed. I just thought fuck it and went upstairs to the library. It took him around twenty minutes to find me and when he did… Well, I regretted some life choices."

"I was so done with being there in that house. Though thankfully my parents went on a business trip the next day and Alex was at a friend's for the weekend. I had the whole house to myself and decided to grab one of my mom's vintage wines and just spend the evening on the couch drinking. And that's how I became an alcoholic at the ripe old age of fifteen." She let out a humorless chuckle at the end.

That day was a blur in her mind. The only thing that she vividly remembered was Alex coming home early and finding her blackout drunk on the couch. At the end of the day though, they were both in the same boat. He just grabbed the bottle from her and started to sip away at the remaining wine. Laughing at each other's hangover the next day was the most fun they'd had in ages so it became a habit for the both of them. Every once in a while they'd go into the wine cellar, pick out a bottle and then go drink it in the attic while they pretended their problems didn't exist. It continued well into their college years. Nicole was barely able to recall doing anything during her years in med school that wasn't being drunk or studying.

She groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. That's not where she meant to go with the story. Cassandra placing a gentle kiss on her shoulder brought her enough comfort to try and wrap it up.

"I guess in a sick ironic way my dad was right in the end though," she subconsciously shifted closer to the brunette and she wasted no time in loosely wrapping her arms around Nicole's waist.

"I was three weeks away from completing my residency when I came home from the lab, only to find my mom in a puddle of blood on the living room floor. My brother was in a similar state in his bedroom. My dad was nowhere to be found but I didn't care. It was his fault," she swallowed the lump in her throat and felt tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"I just grabbed my documents and a duffle bag with some clothes and ran. Booked the first flight to Romania to come stay at my grandparents'. Oh except they know what my dad is all about! Told me I had an hour to get some rest and be out of their house as they didn't want any trouble with my dad's people."

"I did grab a fuck ton of my dad's cash though so at least hotels weren't an issue," her words were coming out chocked, occasionally interrupted by sniffles. She rapidly whipped a hand across her face. "Have you ever been to Braşov? Old part of the city is quite lovely."

Cassandra grimaced. She didn't want to interrupt, but seeing Nicole in such a state made something in her unbeating heart ache. She gently wiped the trail of tears from her cheeks and placed a kiss on her temple from where she was sitting half behind Nicole. Then, with the softest voice she could muster, "And how did you meet Duke?"

Nicole's eyes widened slightly, apparently having forgotten that detail.

"Oh I stumbled upon his shop one day. I thought he was selling some neat stuff and he was nice so I kept coming back. One thing led to another and when I found out about a place off the map where no one gets in or out without help I thought it would be the perfect place to hide from the people trying to put a bullet through my head." Then she winced slightly. "I was also mildly tipsy when I made that decision."

Cassandra looked a little incredulous. "And he just brought you here?"

"I paid him."

Cassandra's expression turned to what could only be described as disappointed but not surprised. Then her attention went back on the redhead, glossy eyes fixated on the floor. To say she sucked at comforting others was an understatement. Daniela was far more well versed in the art of making others not feel miserable but she was nothing if not stubborn enough to try.

"Listen," she shifted to sit in front of her, hand placed gently on a wet cheek. "If anyone ever dares come near you with the intention of harming you, I'll make them regret every life choice that led them there. You're safe here." She may not be great with her words, but if Cassandra excelled in anything, it was keeping her loved ones safe. Loved one huh.

Nicole leaned into her touch, finally meeting Cassandra's eyes. There was a gentle kind of determination in her golden gaze, accompanied by a fiery rage that, for once in her life, brought comfort as opposed to terror. It came with the knowledge that it wasn't directed at her but at whoever may want to harm her.

She didn't doubt her words. Instead she shifted closer, face nuzzled in the crook of Cassandra's neck and, barely above a whisper, said: "Thank you."

[marvelatthetwilight]

Good to be home.

A/N: Just a quick one while I sort out some follow up pieces.

You had missed your brother immensely in the 5 years since you had been home. You were 7 when your mom left, and your dad moved you both back to La Push hoping that being back at the reservation would help you both, growing up as part of a community. Your dad gradually grew distant, starting to drink more and more. Sometimes he could be gone for days at a time, leaving the two of you to fend for yourselves. You relied on each other for everything. It was a shock when, at 13, your dad decided you should go back to Tacoma and stay with your grandparents, claiming that he couldn’t care for two teenagers, and that your brother was “easier” to deal with.

And so, the two of you were separated. Partners in crime, peas in a pod, best friends, ripped apart.

When your grandparents passed away, you finally had the money and the means to move back to La Push, reuniting you and your brother Paul once again.

~~~

“Y/N Lahote as I live and breathe!” Jared Cameron came bounding over to your car as you pulled up to the address Paul sent you.

“Paul has NOT stopped talking about you coming home, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so excited” Jared smiled as he opened up the passenger door and helped you with your bags.

“Jared, you look so grown up! You used to be so weedy! What happened?” You stared incredulously at him, he had grown at least a foot since you last saw him, had filled out and become muscular, nothing like the Jared you were expecting to see.

“Ha! If you think that’s something, just wait until you see your brother.”

You followed him into the house which you understood to be Emily and Sam’s. They had offered to let you stay with them whilst Paul was still finishing his house he was building for himself and Rachel.

As you entered the kitchen you were greeted with a hug from Emily, you recognised her from the photos Paul had sent you over the years. Emily was closely followed by Kim, and then Rachel, who you had spoken to on the phone almost everyday since you had planned to return home.

“Y/N! We are all SO excited to see you! Paul and I have so many plans for us!” Rachel jumped with joy, excited to spend time with her new “sister”.

“So where is my brother? I was expecting him outside waiting considering the amount he has been bothering me with questions about my arrival this week” Rachel looks over at Emily before saying; “he’s out doing some errands with Embry and Sam, they will be back soon, let’s get you settled!”

They gesture for Jared to help with your bags, and he picks them up with ease before leading the way to the guest room.

“This is going to be so hard keeping everything from Y/N if she is staying here, it’s going to be right under her nose. The boys aren’t subtle at all.” Emily whispers to Rachel.

“I know but that’s why we are in charge of keeping her busy! At least until Paul’s house is ready, then it’ll be easier.” Rachel replies as she starts walking towards the guest room, not realising that you had hung back to ask Emily a question away from Jared, unintentionally hearing their conversation.

~~~

An hour later you are in the kitchen at Emily’s dining table, bonding with the girls over your love of cooking, discussing your favourite bands. But you couldn’t stop thinking about what you had overheard. What were they keeping from you?

At that moment, Paul appeared at the door, an enormous smile on his face.

“Y/N!!!!!!!” He ran towards you, lifting you from your seat, into a bear hug. Oh how you had missed his hugs. Although you don’t remember them being this warm.

“I can’t even begin to explain how excited I am that you’re here, I have so many plans, we can go to the beach, go for a hike, I can show you the house, you can choose how to decorate your room..”

“Maybe give Y/N a chance to process what you’re saying before you keep going there Paul. I’m Sam, it’s so good to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much about you” Sam holds out his hand for you to shake, you choosing to ignore that and pulling him in for a hug instead. Woah, it’s not just Paul who feels like he’s burning up. They’re like heaters.

“Obviously I have to hug the man who’s helped my brother out so much. Thank you for everything you’ve done.” Sam smiles at this, before turning his attention to Emily, pulling her in for a hug and peppering her face with kisses.

“...thanks for running off Paul, Sam can you please explain to this idiot that just because he’s one of the fastest wolves in the pack doesn’t mean he needs to run at full speed all the time?!...oh...erm...” everyone’s heads turn to face the two new people who have appeared at the door, seemingly unaware of your presence until it was too late.

Paul’s face turns red with anger, you recognise this quickly from the stories he had told you over the years. Rachel is quickly to his side, arms around his waist, forcing his eyes to her own, speaking to him softly and calming him down.

You look again to the two men still standing in the doorway.

“Erm...hi. I’m Quil, and this idiot is Embry. Sorry, we forgot you were coming today Y/N, please ignore Embry, we have a running joke with Emily calling us all wolves because we act like a pack and we eat her out of house and home”. He laughs unnaturally at this, glancing at the others who join in, catching on that this should be funny.

You smile tightly at him, something is definitely up here. Then you turn your attention to the guy you now know to be Embry. You vaguely remember Embry and Quil from school, friends of Jacob Black’s, you were in the same year but not friends, but you don’t remember him looking like this. Why are all of Paul’s friends so muscly and tall? You definitely didn’t remember Embry being this handsome, he definitely would have stood out more. It’s like Sam has a type for his friends, another thing to add to your list of suspicions, as well as this bizarre reference to wolves. What is going on?

You realise that Embry is staring at you, his eyes are unfocused and he looks like he has completely zoned out. You cough slightly, drawing him out of his trance, attention back to you. His eyes are soft and warm, his face breaks out into a huge smile as he reaches out his hand.

“Hi, it’s so good to see you again Y/N, we’ve heard so much about your time away, erm, I’m Embry.”

You take his hand in yours, he’s so warm, why are they all so warm?

“I remember you Embry. You, Jake and Quil were like the three musketeers, always together!”

Embry smiles at the fact you remember him, and nods his head at your statement.

“We still are, don’t know what I would do without them!”

A growl sounds out from across the room, a quick cough coming from Sam stops the growl suddenly. You turn to see Paul, still with Rachel wrapped around his waist trying to calm him, shooting daggers at Embry.

“Oh this is great! I am SO looking forward to you getting out of this one Embry!” Jared laughs and claps Embry on the back.

“Paul, Embry, outside now” Sam states sternly, the two men quickly following him out of the house. You follow them with your eyes until they disappear into the tree line.

Everyone looks awkwardly at each other, before Emily suggests you help her with dinner. You agree, nodding, hoping that someone at some point will explain to you what the hell is going on.

~~~

The guys finally return an hour later, both Paul and Embry smiling as they playfully push each other walking back towards the house.

“Paul’s let him off far too lightly. I wanted Embry to at least come back with some bites...” Jared stops as Kim nudges him in the ribs.

“Can we speak to you outside Y/N?” Paul says, giving you a look and motioning outside.

You follow him out, and they both walk a bit away from the house towards the open space behind them.

~~~

You now find yourself standing next to Embry, a giant grey wolf standing in front of you.

Apparently, they really are all wolves, and you vaguely remember stories like this when you lived in La Push when you were younger. You just assumed they were nonsense, just silly stories to keep people in line with the threat of wolves and cold ones.

But they were all true. So this is what everyone was keeping from you? But, if they were going to tell you anyway, why was this all a big secret?

You turn to Embry, to see him watching your face carefully. His cheeks flush when he realises he has been staring again.

“So, this is why everyone has been acting strange around me all day?” Paul’s wolf nods and Embry speaks up.

“Yes. We weren’t allowed to say anything about it, so it had to be a secret. But...something changed that means we can now tell you.” He looks embarrassed again, and Paul huffs like he is unhappy about what has been said.

Embry flashes him a look, and Paul stalks away back to the tree line he emerged from minutes earlier.

“Can we sit? I feel like we should be sitting for this.”

You nod, still suspicious and then you both make your way to a small bench close to the house.

“So...one of the perks, I suppose, of our wolves is that we imprint. Erm...and imprinting is basically our way of finding our soul mate. It’s like a pull, we don’t want to be away from them but ultimately, we just want them to be happy. ...It’s not always romantic soul mates, it can just be a friendship...whatever the imprint wants from us basically” he shuffles in his seat, glancing at the floor, scuffing his foot in the dirt.

“Ok...so that’s what Paul and Rachel are, imprints, that’s why she was able to calm him?”

Embry nods.

“And Jared and Kim, Sam and Emily? They’re imprints too?”

Embry nods again.

“So...why are you telling me this? What has changed for me to now know your secret?”

Embry’s face flushes at this question. He was hoping you would have caught on and he wouldn’t need to actually tell you.

“Y/N...” Embry looks up, looking deeply into your eyes, willing you to understand.

“Oh...” you whispered, he was saying that you were his imprint. You thought about this carefully. Embry. “You’re saying that I’m your imprint?”

Embry nods a final time. Hesitant about your reaction.

“But we can be whatever you want us to be, it doesn’t need to be anything else.” He looks away again, hoping that you want what he wants, but not wanting to push you into something you aren’t comfortable with.

You can admit to yourself that you do feel a pull towards him, more than just a friendship you think.

“Erm...maybe we take it slow? But, I think...I want...”

You look up at him, his eyes full of love and something clicks inside you. You lean forward, closing the space between you. He looks shocked but he closes the space again until your lips are inches apart. He waits for you to take the final move.

Your lips touch briefly, and your body tingles at the touch, a shiver running through you as you move apart and the contact is lost. Wow.

“I definitely want to be more than friends Embry.” You whisper to him, leaning your forehead against his, your lips still close.

“I am going to make you the happiest girl in the entire world Y/N Lahote.” You smile and kiss him again.

I could get used to this, you thought.

It’s so good to be home.

A/N: so this wasn’t as short as I thought haha. Got caught up!

Taglist:

@volturidoll13 @clearwater-hoe @like-rain-or-confetti @teampaul @fatiguing-thoughts @wallwriterstuff

[stylesluxx]

no matter what – p.lahote

[warnings: one or two swears, angst, and a flashback to bullying]

summary: in which paul couldn’t protect y/n | clearwater!reader| requested!

word count: 8,561

masterlist

Every summer you came from Washington, D.C. to Forks, Washington. You were originally born in Forks, but you, your mom, and dad relocated to D.C. when you were eight, leaving behind your family. Of course, you were distraught having to leave your cousins, Seth and Leah; you were basically their sister. Your parents had you do everything together, you even wore matching outfits, as if you were triplets despite being three years older than Seth and three years younger than Leah. It was the summer the year your Uncle Harry died that changed your life. Well, actually, it started when your mom got a new job in France.

She told you the middle of your junior year that you would have to pack up and move to Europe.

You were happy for her, of course, but you wanted to finish school before they dragged you off to somewhere new. So, you spent the rest of the school year making plans and you were hoping they wouldn't fall through.

Your grandparents were more than happy to let you live with them in Forks so everything sort of fell into place. You'd be back home, finishing up high school, and you'd get to be around most of your family.

It was hard to say goodbye to your parents but you were excited to be back in La Push. Whenever you were there, you never felt out of place. As if you were stumbling everywhere else except when you were in the small village.

You got to your grandparent's house on a Friday, 8:30 in the morning, bright and early.

"So what are your plans for the summer?" Your grandfather, Peter, asked.

You just walked through the doors of the house and were about to drag your suitcases upstairs.

"Well, I hope to find a job but when I'm not working, I'll either be here or with Leah and Seth. Ya know, the usual," You shrugged and gave them a small smile. "Can't be away from my family for too long."

"Such a sweetheart," Your grandmother, Julia, cooed. "Are you going over there today?"

"Yeah, for lunch. And then I'm all yours for dinner," You nodded and grabbed the handles of your suitcases. You started on the stairs but stopped at the first step. "You know, I'm really happy to be here. Back home."

"You're not going to miss your parents?" Your grandpa questioned.

"I'll miss them; heck, I miss them already but I love Forks. Also... you guys cook and they don't," You teased before turning and continuing upstairs.

You walked to the room you always stayed in whenever you visited: your dad's old room. All the rooms were pretty small, especially compared to the room you had in D.C. but this room made you happy. You kept most of the decorations up, not wanting to ruin the nostalgia of it all, and just filled the drawers and closet with your clothes.

Lunch came quickly and all your clothes were unpacked. Your parents were going to send the rest of your things over so that would be your task for next week.

You practically jumped down the stairs trying to get to Seth and Leah. You bid your grandparents a quick goodbye before bursting through the front door and into Leah's arms.

You squeezed her tight as she laughed and you pulled away and pulled in Seth. At first glance, you didn't realize how different they looked.

"I missed you guys so much it's crazy," You squealed, but it was muffled since your head was in Seth's shoulder. You pulled away and got a good look at them, your eyes growing wide.

They had matching tattoos which you'd admit was kind of cute, but it still took you by surprise. And Seth was no longer scrawny and five foot eight. He was at least six feet now, still lanky, and his hair was cut down super short. And Leah who was also five foot eight was now maybe five foot ten and her hair was in a short pixie cut.

"OMG, you guys cut your hair. And are these tattoos? Guys, what the fuck happened? You guys got these after the funeral?" Your happy demeanor was snatched away and replaced with concern, your arms crossed over your chest, and your eyes narrowed.

"It's a bit of a long story," Seth chuckled and rubbed the back of his head.

"Okay, well I live here now, I have all the time in the world. Are you, like, going through a phase? Should I call for an intervention?"

"No, it's not like we're going drugs," Seth scoffed but kept a playful grin on his face.

"Y/N, let's not be so dramatic. Come on before mom starts calling," Leah shook her head before going to the car.

"Alright alright," You eased up and put your hands in the air as a sign of surrender.

You sighed and tried to wrap an arm around Seth's shoulder but once you realized he was six feet tall, it was a little bit harder to do. But to make you feel better, he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and squeezed you tight.

"You sure you're not on steroids?" You teased and looked up at him.

"Positive!" He laughed.

You got to the other Clearwater house in town and were practically bouncing in excitement.

"Hi, Aunt Sue! How are you?" You asked as you kissed her cheeks and hugged her.

"Better now that you're back in town," She replied and rubbed your back. "A little birdie told me that you're staying for the school year."

You nodded and pulled away so you could sit at the kitchen table. Seth had brought in the chair that was specifically for you when you came to visit and you thanked him.

"'Little birdie' as in Grandpa. That man can't hold water," You shook your head.

Leah came and sat next to you after she finished setting up the plates. Seth sat across from her, and once your Aunt was done placing the food at the table she sat at one end. The other end was your Uncle's spot that remained empty.

Leah squeezed your hand once she noticed you staring into space. You blinked back tears and looked at her and the soft smile that adorned her face.

"You should come to the beach tomorrow and meet our friends," Seth said, an attempt to get your mind off of things.

"Yeah, sure, that sounds good. I just bought a new bikini," You nodded and forced a smile.

You didn't realize how hard it was to be here without your uncle. And now your home felt a little empty. But maybe a beach day would help.

Around noon the next day, Leah was driving you and Seth to the beach, though it was a quick walk from where you lived.

You grabbed your beach bag and followed behind Leah to the group of people you saw huddled on the sand. You thought you'd be surrounded by boys all day until you spotted Emily, your other cousin.

"Y/N!" She gasped and pulled you into a bear hug once you got close enough.

"Hi, Em! I've been doing so much hugging lately, but I could never forget you give the best ones," You smiled and hugged her back.

"Hey!" Seth interjected.

"Seth, don't get jealous," You teased and shoved him lightly once you were released from Emily's arms.

"Never, I know I'm your favorite cousin," He smirked. "Guys, this is our cousin Y/N, the one that visits every summer. She's gonna be living here until she graduates."

Seth addressed everyone and then introduced them all to you, except for Jacob. You guys used to hang out as kids too. He'd sometimes come over with another girl from Forks and the three of you would play together.

You smiled and waved at them all, your eyes met with all of theirs but you were stuck on the last boy Seth introduced. Paul.

He had brown eyes, short black hair, and had almost the same build as Seth but was muscular. He was definitely a La Push boy and he was perfect to you.

"I can't have anything..." You heard Leah grumble from behind you, making your eyes move to look at her.

You felt the heat rise to your cheeks, embarrassed at the fact that you were staring at him. But he was staring back so maybe nobody else would think it was weird, but that was unlikely.

Seth sat on a towel and pulled out down next to him, giving you a bright smile. You always loved Seth. Your parents told you that you had to warm up to Leah, but ever since you met Seth, you were two peas in a pod. But Leah, she understood you on a level no one else did. Somehow you got lucky with the best of both worlds.

"So, what do you plan on doing once you graduate?" Emily asked and moved your bag from your lap and set it with the other bags.

"I'm taking a gap year in France!" You spoke excitedly.

You felt everyone's eyes fall on you, making your smile fall slightly. You didn't exactly enjoy being the center of attention, especially since you didn't know the group too well.

"Y/N, you never told me that," Seth spoke up.

"Uh, yes I did. You just don't listen."

"That's a bit far don't you think?" Emily asked and you just shrugged in response.

Sure it was far, but it's not like you were leaving anything behind here; you'd see everyone the next summer.

"Yeah, but I like traveling and it's only for a year. then I'll be back in the states for college. Maybe the east coast, they have a bunch of schools to choose from."

Your eyes searched for Leah's but they found Paul's instead. They were distant and cool but once he recognized you were looking at him, they softened.

You looked away quickly and found Leah's eyes, practically pleading for help.

"I'm hot," She said, not too loud so it wasn't an obvious diversion but it was loud enough that everyone heard. "Come to the water with me?"

She was looking right at you and you nodded. You stood up and grabbed her hand, pulling her toward the water.

You slipped off your flip flops and let the water hit your toes as you sighed.

"Thanks," You mumbled.

"Yeah, that's kind of what big cousins are for, saving your butt.”

You stood in the water for a while before grabbing your beach towels and laying them out. You were a bit away from the group, but Leah didn't mind.

You stripped from your shorts and tank top so you were only in your swimsuit. You laid on the towel next to Leah and tanned for maybe an hour two. You tried to learn a bit more about the group, specifically Paul but Leah had no real interest in talking to or about them, so you just let it go. But as you tanned, you watched them talk and play soccer, or talk as they scarfed down some sandwiches Emily made.

You were back in the water, now playfully splashing each other. All day you felt eyes on you that you just couldn't shake but for some reason, it was bothering you now. It reminded you of when you brought up your plans for next year and everyone kept their eyes on you, not breaking contact.

"So, is there a problem with me going away next year?" You asked Leah after getting one last splash in. "Why was everyone looking at me?"

She was silent for a moment as if she were stuck in her thoughts, having an inner dialogue with herself.

"It's just a little... complicated," She shrugged, making you roll your eyes.

"You know, you've changed a lot, Leah. I used to be able to read you like a children's book but now... I guess I'll accept that some things change and some things are need-to-know," You huffed out and started to walk back toward the sand. "I think I'm ready to head home now."

You started packing your things, not wanting to be there any longer. And you felt bad you were cutting Leah's day short, but honestly, it didn't seem like she wanted to be there anyway.

"Y/N, you're leaving?" Seth asked as you walked over to where he was stretched out.

"Yeah, I'm tired," You nodded and forced out a yawn. "It was really nice to meet you all."

From the corner of your eye, you see one boy who you remember to be Jared, nudge Paul, causing him to speak up.

"I can drive you home, I was just about to head out anyway," Paul said, looking you right in the eyes.

It was the first time he had spoken to you directly and something about it moved you to a sense of euphoria. Like, if he ever stopped talking the world around you would crash and burn. If he ever stopped looking at you the way he did, the way his eyes softened at the sight of you, you would disappear into thin air. It was a pull and connection you never felt before and you never wanted to stop feeling it.

You looked over at Leah, to get her approval but she was looking at Paul cautiously before looking over at you. She nodded and you turned back to him and nodded.

He didn't bother packing up whatever things he brought, he just stood up and motioned for you to follow him.

You waved goodbye to the others and ruffled Seth's hair as you left. You were walking to his right when you noticed his tattoo.

"Leah and Seth have that tattoo too," You blurted out.

He looked at you and down at the tattoo as if he forgot it was even there.

"Oh yeah, we all have one," He shrugged.

"What's it for? Like does it mean anything?"

"It's just for our little group."

It was a vague response, his tone was similar to Leah's. Maybe it just wasn't your business. And though you were annoyed with Leah, you weren't annoyed with Paul. You never wanted to be on the outs with him so you just accepted his answer and got in his truck.

It was weird that you were nervous since you felt connected to him but you also felt the need to impress him.

He pulled up in front of your house and you turned to smile at him.

"Thanks for bringing me home, I really appreciate it. I'll see you around?"

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out again soon. I was thinking of a picnic?"

He was nervous, you could tell. It was the first time he hadn't looked at you all day. He was facing you, but looking everywhere but at your face.

"Just the two of us?"

"Yeah, unless-"

"Sure, just text me a date and time and I'll be ready," You cut him off.

He nodded and let a victorious smile rest on his face as he handed you his phone.

You saved your number in his phone before handing it back and getting out of the car.

"Bye Paul," You smiled and grabbed your bag, resting it on your shoulder.

"Bye Y/N."

You shut the door and walked up to your front door, unlocking it. You turned back and waved at him before slipping inside the house and letting out a sigh of happiness.

"Was that a boy?" You heard behind you, making you jump.

"Grandma!" You gasped and held your chest.

"So who was that?" She teased.

"Just a boy."

"Right," She hummed with a raised eyebrow and turned to leave you alone.

Definitely not just a boy.

A picnic on the beach was your and Paul's first date. He picked you up, picnic basket in hand, and you guys walked through the woods and to the beach. He brought a big blanket for you both to sit on as you talked and ate the sandwiches he packed.

You played in the water, laughing vibrantly as you splashed each other. You attempted to make sandcastles but failed and decided to just walk up and down the sand.

"So," He started.

"So," You mimicked and looked at him.

"When did you move away?"

"When I was eight. If you're trying to remember me, I promise we wouldn't have been friends," You chuckled and shook your head.

He titled his head to the side and stopped walking.

"And why not?" A playful smirked rested on his face, and you stopped walking simply at the sight of it.

"There's no way I could've been separated from Seth at that point. Like no way. And if it wasn't Seth, it was Leah. And I only knew Jacob because our dads hung out. But I was just a weird, clingy kid," You shrugged.

"So, it's not just because you think you're better than me?" He teased. You scoffed and put a hand on your chest.

"Please," You scoffed and shoved his shoulder gently.

You kept walking down the beach, this time walking back toward where the blanket was. And as you were walking, Paul picked up a stick and wrote "Paul + Y/N" in the sand with a heart around it, making you giggle.

If anyone else had done that on the first date, you would've run for the hills and never looked back. But it was Paul so it was okay.

And when you started spending more and more time together, like going bowling or to a museum, no one questioned it.

The date to the museum took you completely by surprise. You mentioned once or twice to your cousins how you wanted to go visit the museums in Seattle, but you never got around to going.

You two walked around, holding hands, and admiring all the art. It was intimate and quiet, and it was really about enjoying each other's company.

"You stole our cousin!" Seth burst out as you and Paul walked into Emily's house.

You waved to everyone else who sat at the kitchen table or around the kitchen.

"Did not," Paul brushed him off and set a hand on the bottom of your back.

"Good morning to you too, Seth," You smiled.

"We just came to take a nap before lunch. So, if you all don't mind," Paul said and ushered you toward the living room.

"Why don't you guys just do that at your own houses?" Jared spoke up, contorting his face in fake disgust.

You looked at Paul and he looked at you before you both turned back to face Jared.

"Nah, I don't think so," Paul shook his head.

"If it's all the same to you, we're gonna go take our nap now," You hummed and used your thumb to suggest you'd be in the living room.

You let Paul lay down first and then you climbed on top of him and rested your head in the crook of his neck.

"What do you think we're gonna have for lunch?" You asked as your eyes began to get droopy.

"Mmm, maybe burgers."

"Doubt it."

"Okay, if I'm wrong, I'll carry you for the rest of the day."

"You were probably gonna do that anyway," You chuckled and closed your eyes.

"Yeah, that's fair."

You drifted off as he drew shapes on your back. You listened to his heartbeat and the quickness of it. Usually, you'd hold your breath so yours would match up, but yours was beating just as fast as if you had been running for miles.

"I don't smell any burgers," You mumbled as you woke up. You sat up and pecked his forehead before standing up and reaching your hand out for him to take. "Did you sleep?"

"Maybe for an hour," He shrugged and took your hand, following you into the kitchen.

You sat at the table and Paul took the seat next to you. Your hands still latched together, rested on the table in between you two.

"Do you guys have to hold hands at the table?"

You gave Jared a sly smile before moving your hands onto your lap and giggling.

"Why are you being such a downer today?" You asked Jared, your voice holding a playful tone.

"Me? A downer? Please! I'm an upper!"

"Since you're such an upper, why don't you join us on our walk after lunch?" Paul challenged eyebrow raised.

"I'd rather not third-wheel. Thanks for the invite though."

"Your loss."

"Doubt it."

—

"Okay, when does a joke become a dad joke?" You asked, looking up at who you considered to be your boyfriend.

"Uh, I don't know," He shrugged but was smiling sheepishly.

"When it becomes apparent," You giggled.

After lunch, you two left Emily's and headed into the woods. You had no idea where you were going or if there was even an intended location but you were happy to just be hanging out with your favorite person.

"That was a good one," He nodded. "Okay, um... what do you call an ant that had been shunned by his community?"

"A socially dissed ant! Come on, everyone knows that one," You laughed.

"Alright, alright. What do-"

Before he could finish, his head snapped from facing you, to now looking in front of him.

"Paul?"

He ignored you and looked ahead, his eyes scanning the area. He looked back at you, his face serious and his tone reflected that.

"Y/N, run back to Emily's and don't stop. When you get there, just wait for me to come back," He said and kissed you on the cheek before backing away from you.

"Paul, what's going on? What's wrong?" You asked, your face displaying your confusion.

"Just go," He demanded and though it wasn't harsh, you knew he meant business.

He started running ahead and just as you were about to turn around and run back to Emily's it was as if some huge wolf came and ate the boy that was right in front of you.

It was huge, five times larger than Paul, with dark silver fur. And when it turned to glance at you, you recognized its dark eyes and they were pleading for you to listen.

You quickly turned around and ran back to Emily's. It was already hard enough jumping over logs and pushing branches out the way, but with the rumbling of the ground, you were struggling. You saw seven more gigantic wolves going the same way as the dark silver wolf, which you assumed was why the ground was so shaky.

But were they going after him? If your eyes weren't deceiving you, that wolf was Paul. But for as long as you've known him, which was maybe about a month and some change, he's either with his friends or with you, no time for him to get into any trouble.

You burst through Emily's front door, clearly scaring her since she practically jumped out of her skin.

"Hey, are you alright?" She asked, placing her hands on your shoulders as you panted.

What would you say? You just saw your boyfriend turn into a huge wolf and saw seven other wolves running in the woods? The thought of even saying it aloud was ridiculous. And even though Emily was very understanding, you knew this was too crazy to tell.

"No, yeah I'm okay," You nodded and plopped into a chair by the table, your hands behind your head as you tried to regulate your breathing.

But as much as you tried to calm down, you couldn't stop your leg from bouncing and you couldn't keep yourself from biting your nails. You were so worried you didn't realize that it was only you and Emily in the usually full house.

Emily tried talking to you, but you were so lost in thought that you would only him in response. You were never quite sure what she was talking about but you thought humming was a sufficient answer along with nodding or shaking your head.

You couldn't even look at her. If your eyes were on the door, waiting for any sign of Paul, they were watching the clock and watching as the time slowly went by.

When you finally spot him, he's shirtless and wearing khaki shorts (the ones he was wearing earlier was a mud brown). You jump from your seat and through the screen door, into his arms. And without missing a beat, he caught you and held you close.

"Yeah, let's just forget we exist," You heard Seth in the back but you couldn't tear your attention from your counterpart.

"You okay?" You whispered.

"Yeah, are you?"

You nodded in response and let the silence and your nerves settle. You knew he was safe since he was in your arms and you could hear his heart beating against his chest.

"What was that?" You breathed out and peeked up at him.

He looks over at Sam as if they were speaking to each other with just their eyes, before looking back at you.

"Let me drive you home," He suggested and you nodded immediately. Being with him wasn't something you had to think about.

You pull away from him and turn to Leah and Seth.

"We're still on for breakfast tomorrow?" You asked and wrapped around Paul's waist, snuggling into his side.

Leah glanced at Paul and then back at you before nodding.

"Yeah, we'll come get you."

Paul ushered you to his truck, helping you get in before getting in himself. The ride home was quiet and you watched the trees, hoping to see the silver wolf staring back at you. Hoping that you weren't crazy and that the impossible remained impossible.

"I know you have a lot of questions," Paul started as he parked the car in front of your house.

"More than a lot."

He sat silently, mulling over what he was going to say, before going into great detail about everything. From the legends you grew up listening to, to shifting, and finally to imprinting.

"And you expect me to just take this in with ease?" You questioned.

"Not at all."

"The only reason why I'm not laughing and calling you a liar is only because I saw you turn into a huge wolf right in front of me. The imprinting part I can believe with ease; that makes the most sense."

"We're soulmates," He nodded, smiling bashfully.

"More like twin flames but yeah sure," You nodded. "And you saw a... vampire today? That's what you were chasing?"

"Yeah, we don't know why they're here. They're not with the Cullens. But you don't have anything to worry about, we chased them to Canada." His eyes met yours, noticing the concern in your eyes, and reached a hand over to rest on yours. "Everything is fine. Everyone's safe."

You nodded reluctantly and sighed, pulling his hand to your mouth to kiss.

"Stay safe, please," You mumbled and held his hand to your cheek.

"Always."

"I'll text you when I get back from breakfast, you can come over."

He nodded happily, a big grin danced in his face as he leaned over to peck your lips.

"See you tomorrow."

"Bye dork," You giggled as you got out the truck and walked inside.

Tomorrow came quickly and you and Seth were now seated across from Leah at a diner.

"So, what did the big, bad wolf tell you?" Leah asked while wiping the syrup off her mouth with a napkin.

"Everything," You shrugged, as you stuffed your mouth with eggs.

You slept on what Paul said, occasionally pinching yourself to make sure you weren't dreaming. There wasn't anything you could do about it, so why stress about it?

"And how do you feel?" She continued, eyeing you as if trying to read you and see through your calm demeanor.

"Fine. Normal. You don't have to hide anything from me anymore so that's good," You hummed and sipped at your water.

"I'll be back," Seth mumbled.

He stood up and walked over to the bathroom, leaving you and Leah alone.

"So, I know I've been keeping things from you, which isn't like me at all but it's just because of this whole pack thing. Only select people are supposed to know about it," Leah explained.

"Yeah, I know. Paul told me."

"Why are you acting like this isn't a big deal? Why aren't you angry or upset or sad?"

"Because I understand why you couldn't tell me. It's not your fault, Leah. What's there to be upset about?" You uttered, trying to get her to understand what you were thinking. "You're still my cousin and I still love you. That's it."

"That's it," She nodded and gave a smile that didn't show any teeth. As if she were still holding back. But it wasn't your place to force it out of her. She'd talk when she was ready.

When you got back home, your grandparents were at the store but you knew they wouldn't mind Paul being over. So, as you promised, you called him and invited him over.

You were upstairs in your room, straightening up when you heard banging on the side of the house and then saw Paul standing next to the window.

"So you... climbed up the side of the house... instead of ringing the doorbell?" You questioned, arms crossed over your chest.

"Less work for you," He shrugged and pulled you into his arms, pecking your forehead.

"So thoughtful," You giggled and pulled away so you could lay on your bed. "How was breakfast?"

"Good. I brought you some pancakes, they're downstairs."

He laid next to you on the bed and poked your cheek, making you roll your eyes in faux annoyance.

"You're going to school on the Res?" He asked.

"No, Forks High," You shook your head. "I figured, I didn't need to be around Seth all the time. Give each other some space."

"How perceptive."

"And then I'm going away once I graduate, you knew that though."

"What about me?"

"Do you want to come? Meet my parents and eat escargot?" You smiled.

His face was suddenly hard, on the brink of sadness and frustration. Your smile immediately dropped once you noticed his expression and you were ready to comfort him, your palm softly rested on his cheek.

"I can't leave the pack right now. Things need to die down before I can just up and leave," He rolled his eyes hostilely and moved your hand from his face.

You frowned and your eyebrows furrowed to match your anguish.

"Okay, well, we'll make it work," You tried to open the conversation to compromise.

"You're not even sure where you're going to college."

"P, it's not the end of the world. We'll figure it out."

It seemed the more you talked, the more upset he got but being silent and sweeping things under the rug never made anything better.

"You say that now but once we're thousands of miles apart, you're going to see it's not as easy as you're making it seem. We're not a regular couple. Long-distance is already hard but with an imprint, it's much worse. The emptiness and misery will become overwhelming-"

"Well, what do you want me to do Paul? Put my life on hold? We will figure it out. We have a whole year before I go-"

"I need to go."

He abruptly got up from the bed with a red face, slightly shaking but not too much.

"Where are you going?" You sat up, practically talking to his back since he was facing the window.

"For a run. I'll be back later, maybe."

He left your house the same way he came, not bothering to look back at you. It felt as if he were talking to an enemy if you hadn't known any better. But you knew he was just disappointed and frustrated that he couldn't pause time and replay this past summer. And you understood why he felt this way. Somethings are just so good, you never want them to change. But life isn't easy and we can't always have things go our way.

You had never been around a Paul that wasn't either in a positive headspace or worried. Worried Paul didn't shut down the way he just did. He was gentle and soft-spoken.

You sighed and fell back onto the bed, rubbing your temples.

Did that count as an argument? Because if so, that would be your first. It was usually smooth sailings but you had only known each other for a month, so of course, you tried not to step on each other's toes.

You jumped up at the sound of feet landing on the floor in front of you, thinking Paul came back. But you were met with a woman with olive skin, red eyes, and short, curly, black hair. She stood about 5'3" and had an aggressive nature about her that pulled you to your feet, triggering your fight or flight response. Her face was squared, with a flat nose, her cardinal eyes hooded.

"You were with the wolf the other day. You're his... mate," She broke the silence, speaking the last word with either mix of interest or disgust (you couldn't tell which). Her voice drew you in; it was smooth and tantalizing.

You stayed silent and didn't think to move a muscle. To move meant, you wanted to be chased in her eyes and you knew you couldn't outrun her.

She slowly took steps closer to you and continued, "You're pretty for a human."

You confirmed that her voice was full of disgust. The way she said "human" and how her top lip curled as she did so, was not a reflection of interest.

As she moved closer, you knew time was running out and maybe that's what made you speak up. You'll never know the real reason, it was a shock to both of you.

"Paul will be here any second. But if you do happen to succeed in whatever you're planning, you need to know: he's not going to stop hunting you until he has your head."

Your voice was oddly steady and full of confidence you didn't know you had. Maybe because deep down you knew it was true and you weren't just trying to keep the clock running.

She chuckled as if entertained by your words, as if she was able to look through your charade. But now she was standing a few inches away and if anything gave it away, it was your heart beating rapidly.

You heard a bowl from outside, making your eyes flicker over to the window, then back to the trespasser in your room.

You almost let out a breath of relief, but that might've meant you weren't scared anymore, and then she might not show any mercy. You didn't want to antagonize her.

"I wonder if... he'll still love you if you're one of us. Red eyes, skin as hard as a rock, and as cold as ice-"

"I promise you, he will."

"'m not too sure. I'd like to test it out though."

In the blink of an eye, she was gone and you were on the floor, letting out a blood-curdling scream. Your whole body felt like you were on fire, you laid on the hardwood of your floor, flailing around and screaming while you held on to the center of all your pain.

And while screaming out and crying for help, the tears puddling on your floor weren't from the pain, but from the memories as your life flashed before your eyes.

"Mom, he's so pretty," You mumbled in awe as you peered over into your Aunt Sue's arms and watched your little cousin look back at you. "Isn't he," She smiled at you and you nodded energetically. "But we have to head home, to give Aunt Sue and Uncle Harry some space with him." You nodded sadly but obediently and moved from your aunt's side to your mom's. You reached up and grabbed her hand, gripping it tight and leaning on her leg. You waved as you followed your mom out of the room, your eyes filling with tears. She must've heard your sniffling as you neared the elevators because she paused and looked down at you. "Hey, what's wrong Little One?" She asked as she crouched to your height. She held both of your hands and tried to look you in your eyes, but you kept your head down, trying not to let her see your tears. "He's jus' so p-perfect and I don' wanna leave h-him," You spoke between hiccups. She gave you a fond smile and let go of your hands to wipe the tears from your chubby cheeks. "We can go back for a couple of minutes but then we have to go meet your dad and Leah. They're waiting for us in the gift shop, remember?" "Okay," You nodded. "I promise I won't cry when we leave this time." "Oh baby, it's okay to cry. Sometimes we love things so much that we cry. You two might be soulmates; meant to meet and be there for each other. An irreplaceable bond. That's how I feel about you." "You love me so much you could cry?" You gasped, eyes widening at the fact that an adult you admired so much cried just like you. "Yep! I love you more than I could tell you." You hugged her as tight as you could in your little arms, so full of immeasurable happiness "Love you too, Mommy."

You couldn't imagine leaving them behind. Your parents always showed you so much love and support, you were beyond lucky to have them. But your mom was a goddess in your eyes, even if you have grown apart. Your feelings will never change. But what would they tell her once you're no longer you?

And Seth. No matter what Sam decided, he'd find a way to see you and spend time with you. You knew he'd never let you spend eternity without him. But Leah was tricky, as she always had been.

"Y/N, what are you crying about now?" She huffed as she sat down next to you on the porch. You both had come home from school, Leah was in fifth grade and you were in first. "Nothing, Leah," You mumbled and turned your body completely away from hers. "It's not 'nothing' if you're crying? What's the matter?" Her tone was more gentle this time and she put a hand on your left shoulder. You leaned into her hand subconsciously and wiped a tear that fell from your eye. "Is it those kids in your class?" She asked. You hesitantly nodded. You didn't want to hear the whole "stand up for yourself" speech again but you also didn't want to keep this to yourself anymore. "Just been picking on me because of my shoes," You muttered and looked down at your feet. These were your favorite shoes, but now they were dirty and worn out. You still wore them though since the value was still there in your eyes. You loved those pink light up shoes and couldn't bear to part from them. "I like your shoes," Leah shrugged. "Thanks." You didn't know if she actually liked them or if she was just saying that to appease you. You guys' parents always were telling her how her influence and approval meant a lot to you, even if you never showed it. She was your big cousin and you adored everything about her. And because your big cousin said she liked your shoes, you wore them again the next day. Sure, you were subjecting yourself to another day of teasing, but if Leah liked them, screw what the other kids thought. You stomped your feet and watched the colors on your shoes shine as you stood in the lunch line. "Really? The beaten-up shoes again?" You heard behind you. You say was officially ruined. Bigmouth Iara Lyons had to come in and ruin your whole mood. Her and her little snotty-nosed posse. You kept your head straight and ignored her as your mom suggested. Your dad wanted you to hit her, even if it meant him having to come and pick you up from school, but you couldn't bring yourself to do it. But Leah was Leah and wasn't afraid to step up to anyone. "I know you can hear me, Clearwater!" Iara kept going and you could feel her amber eyes burning a hole through the back of your head. "Clearly, she's ignoring you." That was Leah's voice. A voice that made you gasp and turn around. This was a confrontation you needed to see. "And you are?" Iara raised one of her fine eyebrows, a hand on her hip. "Leah Clearwater. Stop messing with my cousin." You now stood behind Leah, somewhat cowering behind her, but still able to be seen. "Or else what?" Leah pushed the girl down without hesitation, making you cover your mouth with your hand. You didn't know if you wanted to gasp or laugh, so you settled for gasping now and laughing later when you were home, replaying this scene right before bed. The other two girls with Iara looked at Leah with wide eyes and then down at their friend who was looking for them to defend her. "Or else, I'm gonna do more than push you. You're a first-grader with a mustache, worry about that instead of her shoes," Leah snarled. The whole lunchroom was looking at Iara and Leah now, wondering what their next moves would be, but you knew it was Clearwater: one point and Lyons: zero. You win. You watched the tears well up in Iara's eyes as she scrambled to her feet. She stood in front of you for a moment, not knowing whether she wanted to run or stay but chose the former. She ran out of the lunchroom, her friends reluctant to follow after her, leaving you and Leah. You saw Leah let out a sigh before turning to face you. "Now, if you make me do that again, I'm going to push you too. Got it?" "Got it," You nodded, a proud grin on your face.

That day made you proud to call Leah your cousin. But now you were at a crossroads. Would you still be allowed to hang out with her? Would she still want to be around you? Or was this the line that you never knew was drawn?

The night of your bowling date with Paul, you two were laying in your bed, holding hands. Your eyes were closed as you started drifting off, and he must've thought you were sleeping, but you perked up at the feeling of Paul kissing the top of your head. "You are the most important person in my life. I'm so happy you're here with me," He whispered into your hair. "Forever." You smiled softly and pulled him closer to you, literally wanting to be attached at the hip. It was as if you were dreaming. This affection was something some people could only dream about. But here it was in the palm of your hands. Your body was flooded with a certain happiness you had never known. A happiness that can only be obtained by being in the presence of Paul Lahote.

But would you ever feel this happiness again? Did the trespasser rob you of a happiness that only a few were lucky to experience? As your body felt like it was being torn apart, limb by limb, and tossed into a fire, every memory you relived tore your heart the same way before everything went black.

—

You ignored the migraine and the aching feeling of your body and pulled yourself into a sitting position.

The spot next to you was empty. If Paul was next to you, you would've assumed it all to be a nightmare. But you woke up alone, dazed, and confused. So where was he?

You took in your surroundings and recognized you were in your room. Nothing looked touched, but the floors were clean and your window was shut and locked.

You stood up and your vision immediately got fuzzy, but you grabbed onto your headboard to keep from falling over.

You took baby steps toward the stairs, keeping a hand on the wall so you had something to leave on. You gripped the railing tightly as you walked down the steps. You tried to be quiet, as to not disturb your grandparents but you weren't quiet enough to go under the radar of a shifter.

At the bottom of the stairs stood Seth, a comforting smile graced his face. "Where's Paul?" You asked, pausing in the middle of the stairs.

"That's the first thing you ask? Of all the questions you might have, that's the one you ask?" He chuckled and held a hand out for you, gesturing for you to keep walking.

But you didn't laugh, giggle, chuckle. You kept walking down the steps and once you reached your cousin, you placed a hand in his.

"Where's Paul?"

You turned to look into the living room where you saw the rest of the pack and your grandparents sitting, waiting for you to make your grand entrance. Seth was at the stairs, Leah was right behind him and the others sat on the couch and in chairs, eyeing you carefully but still smiling.

"He just went to use the bathroom, Sleeping Beauty," Leah answered, attempting the smoothen the tension.

Paul walked in, your eyes watching him carefully and his doing the same to you.

"Are you okay?" You asked him.

He didn't look hurt, just a little out of place, mentally. It was weird because he seemed completely fine and he would seem like that to a normal person but to you, he wasn't himself. He was standoffish, normally he would've been the first to greet you. He would've been in your room, if not in your bed, at your desk, and if not there in Seth's spot. Normal Paul, wouldn't have missed you waking up. It made you feel like something was wrong.

"Am I okay? Are you okay?" He asked, almost appalled that you asked about him.

"Am I... myself?"

"You're yourself," He nodded and glanced at your body once more, but this time he stopped at your left wrist.

You looked down at your wrist to see what he saw. And that's when you saw it. It was huge teeth marks from when the nomad bit you, still red and fresh. It wasn't actively bleeding but it couldn't have been more than two days since the incident.

"Don't we have patrol to go to or something?" Paul coughed, making you take your attention off your wrist.

You looked up him and then over at Sam who nodded. You frowned and went to inch closer to Paul, but instead decided to move backward and stand between Seth and Leah.

Paul was the first to leave and the rest of the pack stood and walked toward the door, but wishing you well as they left. Sam handed you a bouquet and told you that Emily would be over later.

You nodded and walked over to the couch, placing the flowers on your lap.

"Do you want to be alone?" Your grandpa asked, trying to see where your head was at.

"Just Seth and Leah, please," You nodded.

Your grandparents left the room and your cousins came and sat on either side of you.

"How did... how am I still normal?" You asked. You heard Seth gulp loudly, making you look over at Leah. She sighed and mumbled something about always being the bearer.

"Paul... heard you scream and came right to you. We were waiting for her to come out but he couldn't ignore your screams. He brought you over... to the Cullens," She paused and shuddered before continuing. "Carlisle sucked the venom out."

"Oh," You nodded slowly, taking everything in.

The incident wasn't anything you'd ever forget but it was coming back to you in flashes. And you remembered how you told the woman that nothing would change you and Paul's relationship.

"What's that frown for? We took care of her, Y/N," Seth asked, nudging your side.

"I was just... so confident that no matter what happened, Paul's feelings wouldn't change for me and here we are."

You smiled sadly, tucking your lips in your teeth. After shrugging, you leaned your head on Seth's shoulder and closed your eyes.

"Maybe I should've just went to France," You mumbled.

The exhaustion hit you like a ton of bricks and before you knew it, you were back to sleep.

You kind of figured you'd be back in your room when you woke up. You expected the three of you to be squished in the bed, napping as if you were, five, eight, and eleven again. But you woke up and it was Paul laying beside you, staring down at you like he was waiting for you to wake up.

"Hey," You greeted him.

"Hey."

"You okay?"

"Are you?

"Yeah."

"Then, yeah I'm okay," He responded and paused for a moment, glancing into your eyes, reading you. "There's no way I can explain how sorry I am that this happened to you-"

"It's not your fault, Paul."

"They went after you because you were with me. I couldn't even keep you safe. I'm sorry and I will forever be apologetic," He stopped again, closing his eyes and collecting his thoughts. "You might not remember but you weren't just screaming, Y/N. You were screaming my name. Not just crying out random wails, but crying out for me. I should've been there, I should've never left. Now the sight of you withering in pain and calling for me will forever be engrained in my mind. The pain you were in... it was because I left."

What he said didn't change how you felt about anything, but it made you think about how you had so much faith in him. It was news to you that you were screaming for him, specifically, but you also weren't surprised. You believed he would come and save you and he did. Because he was your Paul and he would always be there.

"No one could've known she'd have a vendetta against you and come after me, Paul. This is no one's fault, I need you to come to terms with and believe that. I feel safest in your arms, don't ever forget that, please."

Maybe it was the imprint, but he let it go, tentatively of course. But what mattered was that he let it go for right now and kissed your forehead.

You let an arm drape around his waist and he had a hand drawing shapes on your back. You sat for a while, enjoying each other's presence, after being separated for two days. And though you didn't want to pick a fight, you just had to know.

"If-if I were changed though, would you still-"

"No doubt about. You're still my Y/N, no matter what."

[AN: okay so I wanted to address two things. one, I don’t want y’all to think the soulmate thing is weird so I’ll explain. soulmates are anyone, whether romantic, familial, or platonic, that you feel an instant connection to. basically someone that was meant to be in your life, whether they stay or leave. so that’s how I saw seth and the reader. ALSO, I didn’t really go into depth about the relationship between the reader and the rest of the pack but I just didn’t feel like that was super important for me to focus on. but yeah everyone is on good terms, I just didn’t go super into depth about that. lastly, I’ll probably go through and edit this once more, I just wanted to post it finally. anyway, hope you all enjoyed !]