#but nobody has to read my ramblings :)

[aroaceleovaldez]

Something something Jason feeling like he doesn't quite fit as "Greek" or "Roman" as a metaphor for bisexuality, particularly the semi-canonical bi-coding in his half of experiences during the Cupid scene and how Favonius and Cupid speak to him in parallel to the scenes confirming Nico is gay.

Something something the camps as metaphors for traditionally acceptable forms of relationships and Nico living as a rogue outside of them, rejecting expectation (ergo in himself representing a metaphor of queer identity and living outside of boxes and defined/usually hetero-allonormative/binary ideas of what love/relationships should look like) versus Jason struggling with the expectation to conform to a label and even discussing with Nico both of them remaining at CHB together.

Something something the inverse of Jason shifting away from the camps after he breaks up with Piper, feeling lost and unable to find a place between the camps as he begins to explore his queer identity properly for the first time versus Nico only remaining at CHB because he has entered a relationship. In this essay I will-

[djevelbl]

Ok so I didn't read it wrong — it does say flighting

[jazzzzzzhands]

"But if He Returns back to his Post Office- Glittered, Sticker-ed, or doused in Paint- Well, That is the Circumstances for being the neighborhood's Most helpful mailman! It cannot be Helped!"

Honestly, If you don't wear the love from your friends, are you even a Mailman?

[dbphantom]

me every day

[mercurials]

I really like brandy's design!! can u tell us a bit more about her backstory?

THANK U!! :') i accidentally wrote a huge ramble so i hid it under a readmore and added a tldr paragraph lol! gonna try not to feel too cringe for sharing all this bc shes from a silly little fantasy animal rp teehee. also if anything seems contradictory or lacking in context its bc theres a lot of nuance to the roleplay/dynamics that i had to leave out cuz i could talk forever

TLDR - basically she grew up a religious fanatic who was training to be a priestess of a warmongering god, and left home at too young of an age to carry out missionary work after she received a sign from him. being young, very sheltered, and always in search of attention and validation (she'd suffered through a lot of emotional neglect and outright hatred at various points in her life thus far), it wasn't long before she fell in with a bad, predatory crowd and an abusive boyfriend. this led to her completely cutting herself off from her family out of shame (and fear over abandoning her missionary work) and a long and still ongoing struggle with substance abuse, self worth issues, problems setting boundaries and understanding her sexuality, and self-destructive hedonism. the shitty hand she was dealt felt like a betrayal, considering it was all caused by her leaving to carry out religious duties, so she spurned her god and has been unlearning a lot of religious bullshit ever since. after being dumped by her boyfriend it took her a long time to reconnect with her family, because she spent a while spiraling in isolation with deeply unhealthy coping mechanisms as she navigated a fuckton of trauma with no help. since then, however, she was found by her aunt and finally brought home - though the home was new, as her family had been exiled from their community during her absence due to political conflict. reuniting with them has been the best thing for her; she was welcomed back with open arms and is slowly working through everything that's happened to her, but her recovery has had many ups and downs.

longer version

(content warning for themes of pedophilia and abuse beginning in paragraph 5)

despite being born elsewhere, early on she moved to and grew up in a deeply religious society that worships a bloodthirsty god - and she was all for it in her youth. like, very gung ho about becoming a priestess, cutting off her siblings who still lived in their birthplace, etc etc. her beloved grandmother was one of the rulers of this society and a voice of their god, so it meant everything to her.

this new life gave her the purpose, community, and companionship that she lacked in her birthplace, with no friends and a neglectful and emotionally distant immediate family, so as a lonely and vulnerable child she was caught hook, line, and sinker. she connected with extended family that actually made her feel wanted, she was favored by a god to the point of being granted powers, and she felt whole. i think isolating herself from her immediate family, who did not live here with her, gave her a sense of retribution as well.

buuut there was also a lot of developing political tension and a lot of vitriol toward her family - spearheaded by her grandmother's co-ruler, who had powerful sway. and in a brutal environment like her warmongering clan, this was a major and dangerous threat. so for all the joy brandy found in living here and worshipping her god, youthfully unaware of the conquest this necessitated, she grew more unhappy than she was able to identify. so when she one day manifested the ability to grow (and retract) a pair of wings, she interpreted this as a sign from the red god and jumped at the opportunity to leave her home and carry out missionary work in his name - perhaps out of a desperation to leave this place, although that was largely a subconscious motivation.

she was absolutely too young to be striking out on her own, probably around 15 at most (i was writing her on a feral forum rp so the aging was obv different which makes the conversion fucky so im still figuring that stuff out a bit lmao). but what the red god said, went, so no one questioned it - and she was naively eager and unafraid. she was his chosen. she was royalty. she was invincible.

NOT REALLY! she was more vulnerable than she ever could have realized, so desperate to prove her value to her clan (...and get as far away from those seeking to harm her as possible). desperate to be seen and loved without any judgment for her lineage. so it was all too easy for one of the first men she met beyond her land's borders to take advantage of her, and lead her astray from her goals - she was young, after all, and had very little world experience. finn was his name, and he introduced brandy to an entirely new world than anything she'd ever experienced, one of hedonistic vice. nothing a fifteen year old had any business engaging with, and certainly nothing a grown man had any business introducing a fifteen year old to. this new world, this new attention, was intoxicating to someone as sheltered and high strung as brandy - it wasn't long before she and finn began dating, and relatively soon after that her missionary work fell easily to the wayside.

their honeymoon phase felt amazing, like a dream to brandy, but red flags eventually began emerging that she didn't yet have the capacity to examine or act against. finn would always subtly shut down conversations about her home and family, and grew increasingly more controlling, overprotective, argumentative, and jealous over time. resentment did begin to fester within brandy, but she was easily guilt tripped or otherwise pressured out of it time and time again... until things came to a head in an explosive argument that ended with finn dumping brandy and kicking her out.

distraught, she spurned the god who'd led his devotee down this path and then let her suffer like this, and struck out on her own instead of returning home - the shame of dropping off the face of the earth and abandoning her family was too much to bear. what if they hated her for running away? for abandoning her mission? from there, she spiraled, finding relief in substance abuse and the bed of any stranger that would take her. it was the one area in which she enjoyed any sense of autonomy and control - although it reinforced the lesson she'd learned from finn and his friends that her body and sexuality were what gave her worth. with time her physical and mental health began to plummet, her sense of self weakening and her hedonistic escapism becoming the only thing keeping her afloat despite slowly sucking the spirit out of her. she missed her family desperately, and longed to be a child in their arms once more, but as time went on reaching out to them became less and less of a material possibility in her mind.

but by pure chance and far into the future, she one day stumbled into her aunt, arya, while out and about; though panic overtook brandy at the sudden reunion, arya was only ecstatic to see her again, which was an unbelievable relief. but it was a bittersweet reunion - brandy had missed a lot, including the assassination of her beloved grandmother and subsequent exile of her entire family from their community. the former broke her heart and flooded her with even more guilt about her abandonment. here she'd been gallavanting about, living solely for herself and running away from her responsibilities and family and obligations, while the loved ones she'd been trying so hard to forget were suffering.

it took a lot of reassurance and convincing to ease brandy's nerves about going home and reuniting with everyone else, but ultimately she gave in – and it was one of the best decisions she ever made. everyone welcomed her back with open arms, having assumed she'd died and ecstatic to be proven wrong. she moved in with her living grandmother and began rekindling the relationships she'd lost and missed out on for so much of her life, and though recovery has been a massively uphill battle she's doing what she can with her newfound support system.

aaaand that concludes everything i properly rped before the site i wrote on crashed and burned ✌🏼

[lazulisocinfodump]

Really, making characters (at least for me) is taking chunks of varying size of your own personality and grafting extra experiences and traits onto them. Then you shake them like a can of soft drink and Unleash them unto Situations.

I really respect people who have the ability really put themselves into the headspace of somebody who is Not Them. That simply isn't in my skillset.

Still, while I struggle to put myself into another persons Mind, I do think I have a decent ability to at least put myself into their shoes. If that makes sense. Or at least, being able to decently figure out 'in this hypothetical situation and state of mind, my response would be...'

I guess part of my lifelong journey of maturity is recognizing when my response and others responses would be so vastly different from mine that they are uncomprehendable to me. And it does not mean that what they are doing is irrational. AND that they are seeing things I am missing entirely and I need to take that into account.

tl:dr - Its the Autism

[intern-seraph]

REASONS WHY A JEWISH MC MAKES SHALL WE DATE? OBEY ME! 10x FUNNIER (along with some notes on general jewish ideas relating to the game's themes and setting) (note: i am not an expert on judaism. i am a jew. and i looked at a lot of sources trying to piece shit together bc this is an ancient culture characterized by scholarly debate over interpretations of texts so there's very little that everyone agrees on):

judaism does not have a concrete idea of the afterlife. we especially don't have Hell (or at least, not a hell that anyone actually, like, agrees exists? the mentions i have found of something similar to heaven and hell are typically in the context of what will happen upon the resurrection of the dead?? it's really complicated but point being is that nobody fucking agrees and i doubt any jews believe in the Christian Hell. cause we are not diet christians!)

i should be allowed to wrestle with raphael in nightbringer it's culturally significant

the seven deadly sins? yeah that's a firmly christian concept. we have demons (although whether or not these demons are actual creatures or just metaphorical? it's debatable.) but all of this seven sins nonsense is not our style. demons honestly don't really take up a ton of our folklore either (they're mostly interpreted as metaphors). imagine mc at the start of the game getting introduced to the brothers as the Demonic Avatars of Sin and being just like. "wow that's wild. anyways,"

we do not have original sin in judaism. not even a scrap. in fact if you repent and/or try to make amends for your sins you're good. there's a lot of potential there for writing right? please i am BEGGING for some fics that address sin in a way that's not overwhelmingly christian i can't keep doing this shit

bathroom demon

"hey lucifer do you think [bizarre devildom food] is kosher"

solomon is there??? like, king solomon????? i'm pretty sure solomon obey me is supposed to be king solomon judaism?????? he has a pact with asmodeus which is consistent with the lore surrounding him but like what's up with that anyways??? what's with the nightbringer solomon lore drop?????? hELP???????

"oh my rabbi is gonna have a FIELD DAY with this"

[xerith-42]

One of these days I'm gonna break and post an essay of character analysis about one of four DSMP members, and two of them will get me shot on sight if I explore the depravity of my thoughts about their character arcs. And that's not including the people who will kill you for like, positively talking about the DSMP. But fuckkkk I love character analysis and these guys make me FERAL!!!

[corset]

What is the point of "family" by the way. I don't really get it

[djevelbl]

GRGRGRGRRRGGRGRGRHRH i'm gonna cry WHY is the pathetic wet cat SO FAR BEHIND EVERYONE???? THAT'S SOOOO OBVIOUSLY THE PERFECT CHOICE!!! HE'S SO SWEET AND PATHETIC!!!!!! GIMME HIS HEARTBREAK!!!!!!! WHY IS THE D I L F WINNING?!?!!!?!???!?!!???!?? like fair. but still. AT LEAST LET THE DUMB SIMP WIN THAT'D BE INFINITELY FUNNIER--

[boodlesofdoodles]

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5

Mac is sitting impatiently as he watches Charlie scurrying about the kitchen, much more all over the place than usual; which is definitely saying something. He runs a hand through his hair and lets out a loud huff at the lack of attention he’s currently getting.

“So….” He starts, pausing for a minute and glancing up, hopeful that Charlie will stop what he’s doing and look up at Mac.

Charlie doesn’t.

“What’cha making today, Cat?” Hes even more intent on getting Charlie to pay attention to him. Charlie’s always enjoyed that nickname, and Mac uses it sparingly because when it’s a surprise it always seems to make Charlie happier to hear it.

Success this time around.

“Oh! Yeah-“ Charlie perks up, pausing what he’s doing for the first time in awhile. Actually looking at Mac for far too short a moment. Mac hates the way his heart flutters at it. “I’m making something called a, uh.” Charlie’s eyes quickly dart down to a oddly colorful piece of paper he had out on the counter in front of him, squinting at the name as his finger follows the letters, “a s-str. A stra,” he’s already getting a bit frustrated with himself.

It was already hard enough to learn the measurements. Now he has to sound out some of the words every time he tries reading a recipe. That’s why he’s so grateful to have Mac with him almost every time. Although.. when he’s alone, Charlie’s figured out a way to get his phone to narrate the text and read it out loud for him. He purposely hasn’t told Mac that, though, out of fear maybe Mac will stop hanging out with him while he bakes if he can ‘read’ the stuff on his own.

“A strundlay.” He finally stumbles out after a long pause of deliberation. Based on the look Mac is giving him, he probably read it completely wrong. “An apple strundlay,” he says more confidently. He knew the apple part was right… the other word? Not so much.

“Charlie, what in the hell is an apple strundlay?” Mac’s brows furrow as his face twists in confusion. He shakes his head lightly and reaches over the counter to pick up the paper Charlie was reading from. It’s a thin page ripped out of a magazine, some words rubbed off and smudged; he assumes Charlie must’ve ran his fingers over certain parts trying to reread them so many times. He probably went into some kind of office waiting room or lobby and just rifled through their magazines lying around until he saw a picture he liked. Mac scoffs slightly at the thought before his eyes roll over the word Charlie was just trying to say.

“Strudel?” This time he’s grinning and stifling a small chuckle, “you’re making an apple strudel?” He’s only met with a small, slightly embarrassed nod. “Sounds pretty good, Cat,” Mac beams fondly at the subconscious smile spreading on Charlie’s face at the repeated nickname, “I can’t wait to try it.” He slides the paper back over the counter and watches Char nervously fidget a little.

“I just, uh.” Charlie steps back a bit, rubbing the back of his neck. He’s looking everywhere but at the expectant Mac, biting his lip lightly “I hope he likes it.”

Mac’s heart completely drops. Something about Charlie’s tone. The way he’s glancing around.

He? Who the hell is He? Why won’t Charlie look at me? Is he blushing? What is he talking about? There’s a He?

“Who the hell is He?” Mac blurts out before he can stop himself. He grunts and brings a hand to his temple, scrunching his eyes and praying he didn’t sound as angry as he felt when he said that.

“Dennis!” Charlie chuckles out.

Why won’t Charlie look at him anymore?

“Dennis? You’re making something for Dennis, Cat?” His voice isn’t nearly as playful as it was when he had said the name earlier. Why was Charlie so excited to make something for Dennis? “He doesn’t even know you bake. Just gonna show up with a homemade pastry and expect him not to be suspicious?” Mac doesn’t notice how much more he talks with his hands when he’s angry. Charlie always notices.

“Well, I’m obviously going to tell him.” Charlie’s face scrunches up and he shakes his head erratically, “I saw this and it looked so good I knew I had to make it for Dennis.” His eyes finally meet with Mac’s. They’re also no longer as playful.

‘Looked so good I knew I had to make it for Dennis,’ what’s that supposed to mean? He wants to make Dennis something even better than anything he’s ever made for me?

“You really think he’s not going to make fun of you for it?” Mac stands up from the stool he was lounging on. This is ridiculous. Dennis wouldn’t understand or appreciate Charlie’s baking. He wouldn’t understand Charlie like Mac does. He doesn’t understand him like Mac does. So then why the hell is Charlie so giddy about shoving some stupid pastry into his mouth. “This is a bad idea. You shouldn’t give Dennis anything.” His voice is loud, engulfing, he’s trying to intimidate Charlie into letting this stay a private thing only the two of them share. Please let this stay something only they share together. “He’s gonna hate it and you’re gonna go crying to me about it.” Mac bangs his fist on the counter as a last resort, “that’s such a stupid idea, Charlie.”

“Man, what the fuck is your problem? Why are you so angry at me right now?” Charlie is completely and utterly baffled. What did he do to piss Mac off so much? “Is it so awful I want to make something for him?” He can feel his face heating up, and his voice rising involuntarily as he gets angrier, “If he’s an asshole about it I’ll make sure you’re the first to know. That make you feel better, Mac?!” Charlie is shaking his head erratically again, as he starts scrambling around the kitchen. There’s loud banging as he works quickly to clean up after himself.

“Charlie what are you doing?” As mad as he is, and as hard as he wants to come off, his tone is desperate. He doesn’t get an answer as the sink turns on, watching Charlie angrily scrub off everything he was just using. “Charlie!” He yells over the running water.

“I’m going home, jackass.” He hurries over to the trash and just drops the whole bowl in, everything he had been working on since he got there. “I’m not making the god damn Strudel anymore.” Charlie’s scoffing as he turns off the faucet.

Before mac even has a chance to respond Charlie is already rushing past him and reaching for the front door handle. The apartment is dead silent after the door slams shut. Mac shakes his head and signs heavily. What the fuck just happened?

Absentmindedly he reaches over to the paper Charlie left behind. He just looked at the bolder lettering earlier and didn’t even notice all the ‘annotations’ and doodles Charlie left in the margins. There’s scribbled hearts scattered around, which makes Mac just feel sick. There’s a lot of stars just subconsciously doodled about. Charlie recreated some of the drawings Mac made of the measuring cups next to certain ingredients in the list.

Finally, his eyes land on one corner thats much busier than the rest. ‘4 Den and Mac’ is hastily written. Mac sinks back onto the stool, hunched over and sighing as he notices most of the hearts on the page surround the two names.

Den is written as neatly as Charlie could get it, while Mac is much sloppier. There’s a familiarity in the way Charlie writes the name, like he’s done it a million times. Den is still so foreign, but his hand knows Mac by heart.

Mac is left alone in the silent apartment, wondering how often Charlie writes his name.

[selunesfavouriteprincess]

thinking about my Durge Pollux and his dynamic with Shadowheart and Lae’zel. because he definitely sees parts of Orin in both of them even if he doesn’t remember who his little sister is any more. he recognises the love of the kill, the skilled way she dispatches their victims in Lae’zel’s efficient military outlook, the well-trained understanding of perfecting a kill. and in Shadowheart he connects to the artistry, the almost playful love of the macabre, how she gleefully describes everything that can go wrong with the gallows the same way she talks about her favourite books. and both of their stubbornness, well, if that isn’t the most infuriating yet familiar thing he’s ever experienced.

and he unknowingly starts to treat them both like his little sisters, looking out for them the way he once looked out for Orin (because he did love her and want to look after her, in his own confused Bhaalspawn way), encouraging their kills, showing them how to please Bhaal even if he doesn’t realise that’s the goal behind his actions. the fact they almost fight to the death weekly is good, that’s how they should behave, and he tells Lae’zel how Shadowheart’s braid is a huge liability in a fight, reminds Shadowheart that if she’s physically weaker she has to fight sneakier. and he couldn’t be prouder whenever one of them has the other at knifepoint.

[snowfianna]

I'd like everyone to pray for those on Instagram in my close friends, because they get walls of text or me losing it going over the SAME guy for years and years...

This man has tackled and headlocked my brain and there's no way to break free.

[cornerihaunt]

.

[andersdotters]

I have so many opinions on the x reader/reader-insert franchise that I really can't open up about it without sounding like a crotchety old man.

[mooodyblue]

tags again. ignore me 🥸