#but now i think i understand kindness a little more...and it feels like i've betrayed my past values since i thought kindness was for soft

[asmileforyourscrapbooks]

OMFG THIS COMMENT. GUISE. THAT LAST SENTENCE IS SO FUCKING RAW

edit: i see a lot of people arguing over the 'eat the rich' thing and i'd like to clear up my standing currently! i know they aren't the same kind of fancy multi-million corporation that our beloved phrase talks about, and the reason i agree to a point with this comment is that watcher is evidently trying to become that. they're doing some shitty things in regards do disregarding poorer fans, and are seemingly blatantly ignoring the economic crisis by saying 'everyone can afford that!', all in direct contrast to their entire branding of being leftist and openly supporting things like eat the rich.

"You said 'eat the rich' then handed us the forks, laid on the plate, and expected us to spare you?" at least from my understanding isn't flat-out saying watcher are now the rich we eat, but are well on the track to becoming so, and are quickly developing the same ego.

BUT!! don't like people directly hating on steven like that!! they're all grown men who can make their own decisions, and pretending like shane and ryan are out little baby beans and then calling steven evil and whatnot isn't okay. they can all be held equally accountable. though i do somewhat understand being the most disappointed in shane, as he's the one who speaks on shit like eating the rich the most, and is generally more outward with his ideals, so it's perfectly reasonable to feel betrayed more deeply. but bottom line is they're all equally accountable for this decision.

some shit we can't take back. i probably got pissed and said some weird/uncool shit initially because of the intense emotions i was dealing with, which other people amplified. i do regret some of the things i've said to a point when it comes to being hateful, but i can't just un-say it all, so i'm not even going to try. i'm going to leave everything be and allow it to serve as something to look back on for what not to do in future circumstances. while this new path for watcher is, in my opinion, not the smartest and generally really shitty, they're human beings who make mistakes, and they deserve our acknowledgement of that.

in short, i don't like it but i'll stop being a bitch about it because they don't deserve that. also sorry for the wall of (probably incoherent lmao) text i got passionate <3

edit 2: guys. im screaming. the apology was amazing imo and i genuinely think they really mean it, like it doesn't seem bullshitted. i think they realized they fucked up for reals and feel bad. im so happy for them, but also for us as fans. yay :D

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I (26, NB) dropped a long-term friend (23, not disclosing gender, I'll call them X) for being a proshipper, and now they're trying to get in the way of my other friendships.

A little more than a month ago, an old friend from when I was an itty bitty teen on the internet (we met when they were 12 and I was 15 or so) messaged me on twitter asking if we could share discord since they're more active on that platform, and they missed hanging out. Ok, no prob!! I missed talking to X and life was going kinda icky for me at the time. We exchanged discords and started talking more frequently, before we would talk through twitter dms maybe one day every few months, and we went from almost no contact to talking every single day. It was like being a teenager again; we still shared similar interests and we really fast clicked over old and new fandoms we were in. We talked about college and how they're starting to get the hang of their new job but needed support, talked about our family lives, etc., and in general I felt really comfortable and happy to be chatting again with someone I've known for so long. We were inseparable for weeks.

However... of course, as adults, and having known each other for YEARS, we started talking about fandom ships and fics we enjoyed. We didn't have the same taste in pairings, but that was okay. Until it wasn't anymore.

I shared my NSFW twitter with them, and they followed me. A few minutes later X told me, "I see you have "proship DNI in your bio, I just want to let you know that I am a pro-ship and enjoy some things in fandom that you might think is gross. I hope that's okay."

I was kind of weirded out, and told them that as long as they didn't like anything that would be criminal in real life, that's fine. They told me they *did* enjoy things in fiction that they "wouldn't condone in reality" and even though they "don't talk about it publicly" they still wanted me to know. For some reason. ?? Even though they KNOW that I have an irl history of abuse as a kid, they still told me this.

I was so fucking uncomfortable and really, really sad, and honestly I felt betrayed? I stepped away from my account for like, an hour before messaging them back and saying I didn't want to continue talking to them anymore. That I didn't know they were that kind of person and I'm not comfortable being their friend. I didn't read their response to me because I soft-blocked them.

While I was getting over that and trying to move on, a few days later I was talking to another mutual friend of ours when they asked if I was still friends with X. I got chills remembering how I broke off with them, and said no, we weren't talking anymore. That they were the kind of person that made me really uneasy and uncomfortable to be around. The mutual friend, I'll call R, said that X was "feeling kind of down about losing a friend recently" and talked about it in a discord server they share. X didn't mention my name but R wondered if it was me who dropped them since I was really touchy about boundaries online. I freaked out a little thinking about them talking about me, and asked what else they said, and R told me "not much, just that they felt sad but it was your choice in the end because you two were different" and I don't know why but it left a bad taste in my mouth. Were they trying to make people seem like I was the bad guy or something?? Idk.

I told R the reason why I stopped talking to X, and that X is a proshipper who likes things like inc*st and rape, and R wasn't as supportive as I thought he would be, saying that he understood how I felt but if X was being honest and open about their interests, it probably meant they trusted me and didn't want to "lie" to me. I don't understand how that's even relevant if X is a fucking proshipper. I don't want their trust in the first place if that's who they really are, and I felt betrayed that someone I knew for so long was hiding that for me until we were bonding again. R basically dropped it there and said "idk then" and I told him I was going to shut off my notifs for a bit. I really don't want to talk with him again right now especially since he didn't seem THAT bothered by X being a proshipper who's into really criminal shit.

Since then, friends of mine who are also friends with R (because he's a friend of X still, for some reason), haven't been replying to me as much anymore and I'm super sensitive to noticing these things, at first I told myself it was nothing, but there's an obvious decrease in our interactions. I can't help but think that X actually said bad stuff about me, and R didn't want me to know, or maybe X convinced R that I was a terrible person or something. I still haven't read X's reply to me because I genuinely do not want to interact with them ever again, but for the past few days I've been so angry and hurt by my other friend's actions that I can't help but want to blame them, since this all started when I left them.

AITA for dropping a friend because their interests made me SEVERELY uncomfortable? I don't know what to do.

What are these acronyms?

[yanderestarangel]

♡ 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞!𝐛𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐧 ♡

TW: ftm reader, afab anatomy, non con, v!sex, forced feminization, kidnapping, manipulation, praise, use of powers, power play, unprotected sex, degradation, fingering, hard sex, overstimulation, dark themes, breed!kink, porn plot.

'Easily manipulated' was a word that summed up your persona for the grandmaster, he could see your gentle and sweet nature, which made him feel like it would be so easy to take advantage of you like that.

𝐓𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐮𝐩𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦.

Just thinking about it drove him crazy. Bi Han can feel that his pupils are dilating just by looking at you - This showed him how much you affect him, so his already corrupted mind thought of the safest and quickest plan of having your soul and body all to himself... Kidnapping.

It was easy to convince you to be alone with your kind leader... And right after a cup of green tea, everything went dark, and with an unbearable headache you woke up naked in a big, unfamiliar bed - with your breasts hanging out, and your wrists tied. over your head, wearing white lace panties, your body was hot and your mind was in a confusing blur - until you heard the door slam, and saw bi han walk in, but before you had any hope of the ninja being there to save you... You saw the crooked smile painted on his lips, you had no escape there - his gauze filled with dark desire as he continued to massage your soft skin, his hands caressing every inch of your exposed body. His touch was both gentle and possessive, like a predator savoring its prey.

"-You are so beautiful... a little prince, I did exactly what I wanted to do. I brought you here to indulge in your deepest desires," he whispered huskily, his breath tickling your ear. "-I can feel how hot you are, how wet and needy. It's as if your body is aching for my touch." His fingers trailed down your stomach, tracing circles around your navel before sliding lower, closer to your glistening heat.

"-I've fantasized about your moans, your desperate cries for more. And now, I'm going to make those fantasies a reality." With that, he dipped his fingers into your wetness, his eyes never leaving yours. He started with a slow, torturous pace, savoring every gasp and whimper that escaped your lips. His touch was expert, his fingers dancing skillfully over your swollen clit. "-You're so responsive," he purred, savoring the sweet sounds you made. "-Just like I imagined. Such a good little slut for me."

You moaned as your body betrayed your mind, you wanted to scream, cry and push the cyromancer away from you - but the bonds and his thick, cold fingers deliciously stretched every bit of your cunt. You mumbled a few words, feeling the lace fabric brush against your fingers, the pain and discomfort of being exposed were disappearing in your core.

"-You don't understand how much power you hold over me," he whispered, his voice filled with raw lust. "-Every time I see you, I ache to touch you, to taste you. Your body, your essence, it drives me wild." he added a second finger, stretching you to accommodate him - your moans growing louder as your orgasm built within you.

He watched your every reaction, his arousal evident in the bulge straining against his pants. You accumulated a little of your conscience, even with the eminent pleasure that accumulated there, closing your thighs and kicking the older man, but the dreaded 'sub zero' wasn't going to let a little boy like you deny him, on the contrary, that made him even more excited - after all, he was not one to shy away from his desires, nor was he afraid to manipulate the situation to suit his needs.

"-I can always take what I want... by force." He cupped your breasts in his hands, his touch possessive and demanding. He kneaded and squeezed, his fingers pinching your sensitive nipples. "-Do you really think you can outrun me, defy me? Your body, your very soul, calls out for my possession. I can feel it, just as surely as I can feel your wetness against my fingers." he tore your lacy panties apart, exposing your wet and swollen pussy to the cool air, his gaze locking onto your delicate folds.

"-I'll show you just how much of a prince you can be," he growled, his voice low and commanding. "-You crave my cock, don't you my little prince?" Bi Han positioned himself at your entrance, the tip of his cock grazing against your folds. The anticipation was almost unbearable, both for him and for you. He relished in the knowledge that he could give you pleasure like no one else could.

"-You can resist me all you want, but I'll break down every wall, every defense you have until you're begging for more. You're mine, whether you like it or not." Without warning, he thrust into you with a powerful force, claiming your tight, wet heat in one swift movement - you feel him stretching you, filling you completely. He groaned in approval, his eyes locking with yours, as his hips began to move. The grandmaster smirked cruelly, relishing in the power and control he had over your delicate body - reveled in the lewd scene, watching as your pussy clenched and winked around his cock, he could see the need in your eyes, despite your attempts to resist.

Bi Han's thrusts quickened once again, his strength and stamina evident as he pounded into you, "-You're trying to resist, but your body betrays you. Your moans, the way your sweet pussy clenches around me, it screams surrender." He relished in the sounds of your moans and cries of pleasure, his own groans intertwining with yours.

"-I'm going to fuck you senseless, make you come untouched, until there's nothing left but a trembling, submissive mess." He paused mid-thrust, his cock still buried deep inside you, and leaned down towards your ear. His breath was cold against your skin, sending shivers of fear down your spine.

"-I can feel how wet you are, how close you are to breaking, my little slut..." he growled, his voice low and dangerous. "-And when you do, I want you to scream my name. Scream it loud enough for everyone to hear." The words hung in the air, heavy with their meaning. He wasn't just talking about sex; he was claiming ownership, marking you as his. And as if to emphasize his point, he thrust deeper than ever before, hitting an angle that made you cry out.

"-You see, my little boy? No matter how much you resist, no matter what lies you tell yourself, deep down, you crave this... You always wanted me to abuse that cute pussy of yours, didn't you?" Sub zero thrust deeper, his cock hitting an angle inside you that made everything around you blur. The sensation was overwhelming, but in the best possible way. It was like he had unlocked some hidden part of yourself, a dark and twisted desire that had been lying dormant until now. "-Tell me," he demanded, his voice rough with need. "-Do you want my seed inside you? Do you crave the thought of being pregnant by me?"

"Fuck no" was the last thing you said before your orgasm hit, a wave of pleasure so intense that it almost blinded you. But instead of repulsion or disgust, all you felt was a raw, primal need for more. "-Yes... You crave it. You want my seed inside you... Such a good boy." his voice filled with triumph.

His words were fuel to the fire, making your body tremble with unbridled lust. And as he spoke, he came too, his cum mixing with yours, creating a messy, wet bond between you two. As the intensity of your orgasms subsided, reality began to seep back into your minds. You found yourself wrapped in his arms, your body still wet from your combined fluids. And despite everything that had happened, despite the manipulation, there was an undeniable connection between you two.

"-I didn't mean for it to be like this... But I couldn't resist you…"

🌸 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 "𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐧" 🌸

𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐝𝐨𝐦!𝐛𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐧

𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐮𝐩 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐧

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐧

𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐲 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐧

𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓻𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽𝓼 𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓮𝓭 ©𝔂𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓵 2024. 𝓭𝓸 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓬𝓸𝓹𝔂, 𝓻𝓮𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓸𝓻 𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓷𝓼𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓮

[masterjedilenawrites]

Take Me Out

Bad Batch x Reader Exchange 2024

Crosshair x fem!reader | 4.7k words

Content: drinking, light angst, introspection, fluff, light humor, crushes, relationships, friendship, mentions of war and death, weapons (practice setting)

Prompts: "What am I even looking for?" - "I don't know" & "Sometimes I think some work on your communication skills wouldn't be such a bad idea."

My gift is for the event host - @ghostofskywalker! I was so excited to draw your name and I really hope you enjoy the fic. You put so much work and care into hosting these events for the fandom, it really is appreciated 🤗

I've actually had this story concept in mind for quite a while. I love that pretty much all of your prompts/wish-list items were able to fit in! We've got some platonic Hunter, romantic Crosshair, a little angst, a bit of fluff... Perfect!

Oh, and to keep things spoiler free (on my blog and for the event), this takes place before Order 66 and Omega.

Please go check out the @cloneficgiftexchange blog for all the other contributions to this great event! Fics are being posted all throughout today (4/13/24). Spread the love for fandom writers/creators by reblogging!

Vandor-3. Clone training facility: recreation sector. Winter.

You sat slumped over the bar, a drink cradled in your arms. You took lazy sips at the liquid, long past its effervescence, in between chewing on the straw. You could smell the evidence of your waning hygiene, being curled in on yourself like this. It disgusted you but not enough to do anything beyond self loathing. To say you were miserable was an understatement.

"Morning, Captain. A bit early for a drink, isn't it?"

The husky voice of the bar's newcomer was unmistakeable in who it belonged to. There were clones abound on this small moon, hundreds of identical-sounding men. But every once in a while you had the pleasure of hearing the one that was different.

You sluggishly swiveled your head and gave Sergeant Hunter a mock salute. He leaned against the bar beside you, seemingly torn between being amused and concerned by what he was seeing.

"Back so soon?" you asked, ignoring his own question. Though your speech wasn't slurred, your voice still betrayed some of the numbness you were working to surround yourself in. Which helped your friend make up his mind on how to feel.

"Easy mission," Hunter shrugged off the topic. "You okay? Did something happen?"

"No," you sighed and forced yourself to sit upright. Best to appear more in control and not give him reason to drag you to the med bay. "That's the problem. Nothing's happened."

Hunter frowned and slid onto the barstool next to you. You caught a whiff of soap as he did, a harsh contrast to your own odor that made you even more upset.

"I don't understand."

Your hands cupped around your glass, condensation pooling around your fingers, and you stared at the melting ice wishing to be as frozen and unfeeling.

"I don't understand, either," you whispered. "Why I'm still so... alone."

"Ah." Hunter placed a sympathetic hand on your shoulder. "That's right, you had that date you were going on. Another dud, then?"

You nodded, still refusing to look away from the ice cubes.

He hummed in thought. Your poor friend. How many times had he now had to come up with some sort of reassuring comment after another one of your failed attempts to find love? At least you were grateful you had such a friend, though. Where others would have made you feel guilty for admitting to loneliness, would have insisted they were company enough and all you had to do was ask for it, it's as simple as that, how dare you feel lonely when you aren't actually alone... Hunter was the one who always saw through to what you really meant. You were not what the other wanted, but you were both wanting, craving that kind of deep, romantic connection that seemed to allude you both. For Hunter, it was obviously his schedule that got in his way. For you... well, that was the mystery.

"You have to keep looking," was the sentiment Hunter settled on this time. He rubbed at your shoulder a bit, as if trying to smooth out your misery.

You huffed. His attempts to comfort were sweet, but not enough. You couldn't help but protest. "But with everyone I meet, I just find out what I don't want. What am I even looking for?"

"I don't know," Hunter shook his head sadly. "I don't know if anyone knows until they find it."

You groaned and slumped back forward, facepalming the bar top and wishing you could sink right into it. Sink down, down, down until you disappeared completely.

"Sorry, Cap," Hunter's now muffled voice attempted to chuckle, lighten the mood. "If I could track down your soul mate, I would. You know I would."

That comment was sweet enough. You forced yourself to stop sinking, lift yourself up again, and face your friend properly.

"I know. And I appreciate that. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be such a bummer today. It's just... it's been getting harder, is all."

He nodded and you nodded back and nothing further needed to be understood on the matter.

"Were you needing something from me?" you changed the subject. "Or did you come to day drink as well?"

"Ha, ha." Hunter started to get up. "Yeah no, I just wanted to let you know we were back for a few rotations, see if you'd have some time to finally come out and meet the boys."

You lifted up your glass and shook it a bit. "You're too late, I'm afraid. If I'd known you'd be back so soon, I wouldn't have started on this journey of self destruction."

Hunter titled his head at you, some of that trademark concern still showing. "This isn't going to be an all week thing, is it?"

You shrugged. Truthfully, you had no idea what to do with yourself. Making decisions even a day in advance seemed like too big of a commitment in your fragile state.

"I'd rather not meet any more new people right now, if it's all the same to you."

"I wouldn't consider them new. You've heard enough stories about each other by now. It's starting to get weird that you're not meeting, quite frankly."

You wanted to laugh, but the thought of introductions, stiff pleasantries, awkward small talk... It reminded you of every first date that never turned into a second, every dating app chat thread that went nowhere, every high hope you watched turn into disappointment. Even with a group like Hunter's brothers, the Bad Batch, with a reputation of being unconventional, who you'd only be making friends with just like you had with Hunter and every other clone on this moon... it was still too much for you to stomach.

"Sorry, maybe next time."

Hunter frowned, but he didn't overstep. "Suit yourself. Door's still open though. You know where to find us."

He made to walk out but paused to turn back to you for a moment.

"And hey, don't lose hope. We'll find our people soon enough. In the meantime, take care of yourself, alright?"

You waited until the bar doors closed behind him to let your tears fall.

* * *

Vandor-3. Woodland outskirts. Spring.

You were here. Finally.

You weren't able to pinpoint exactly where the turning point occurred, between crying yourself to sleep every night and being able to wake up with a smile on your face. A small one, of course, but a smile nonetheless. You weren't even sure it was something that had happened overnight. Slowly, eventually, the frost over your heart melted, the shadows in your thoughts grew thinner and lighter. Without even realizing you were drawing back the curtains and dusting off the shelves and each day being a little more open than you were the day before.

Your loneliness still existed. It came and went in waves, so while still devastating at times, you were at least afforded with periods of relief. Periods where you could smile again, find fulfillment in your work, and even dare to allow yourself to dream again. And not to mention taking more regular showers. It was always the little things that made the biggest difference, wasn't it?

And now here you were, standing in the early morning sun out in one of the training fields, the Havoc Marauder silhouetted against the sunrise as you shook hands with its crew in a meeting long overdue.

Hunter's stories had done the boys justice. Wrecker was just as larger than life as you'd pictured, aptly choosing to push past your outstretched hand and go in for a bone-crushing hug instead. Tech, who you'd come to know as the brains of the batch, only spared a second to be properly introduced before returning to fidget with some gadget. Echo was all politeness and disciplined respect, with his scomp-salute and ma'ams. And Crosshair... well, he was still on the ship asleep, which you supposed fit with the few facts you knew about him, too.

Hunter beamed beside them, clearly happy you had finally made the effort to meet his squad. His family, really. As a Captain overseeing drill training for the GAR, you knew better than anyone the close bonds these clones formed even before they stepped foot on a battlefield. This meant a lot to him, you being here. You felt awful for postponing so many times.

Once introductions were out of the way, and some pleasant conversation had passed, you eventually ventured out to the part of the training field that actually housed elements for training - your excuse for coming out here to meet everyone. A munitions crate full of shiny new blasters was carried between you and Wrecker while Hunter ran ahead to set up some targets. Tech and Echo went back to the ship to work on repairs.

"Aaaaugh. Only blasters?" Wrecker lamented upon opening the crate.

"Sorry, more budget cuts. This was all I could scrounge up for you guys."

Hunter was much more excited by the new weapons, though Wrecker still picked one up to try out. You held one as well but only used it to demonstrate different techniques. Just because you were good at training didn't mean you were the best at actually fighting.

The three of you picked off the various bottles, pots, and pans that Hunter had set up amongst the tree branches at the edge of the field for a short while. And on more than one occasion you found yourself pausing to breathe in the air and remind yourself that life was good. Maybe not how you wanted it, but it was still good and you'd need to continue to work on appreciating what you had.

After about an hour, there were only three bottles and a pan left, all proving tricky targets due to distance and angle. Hunter had even tried slinging a few knives to no avail.

"Okay I'm calling it," Wrecker announced with a huff. "One more missed shot and I'm blowing them up."

"I'll take that bet."

A new voice, one you'd never heard before, carried across the field. It was delicate and drawling and confident. Hunter chuckled and Wrecker rolled his eyes. And you... you had no idea that everything was about to change.

It was like he was moving in slow motion. Your surroundings blurred as the lanky figure caught the corner of your eye, your heart rate slowing as you turned and took him in. One confident step planted firmly in front of the other as he inched across the field. A sniper rifle perched on his shoulder. A toothpick between pursed lips. An eye surrounded by a reticle and narrowed in determination. He didn't even spare you a glance, and thank the gods, because if he had, you were sure your heart would've stopped beating altogether.

He squared off as soon as he reached the marks, bringing his rile forward to aim in a swift and careful motion. His head rested against the shaft, his tattooed eye squinted through the scope. You imagined him taking this stance a thousand times in his short life. It looked as natural a position as curling up on a couch might look for you.

You couldn't look away, not wanting to miss a single second of whatever this mesmerizing man was about to do. He was still for a moment, impressively so. You realized you were holding your breath as you watched, not wanting even your exhale to interfere with his process.

And then he fired. Once, twice, threefourfive times. Bang, bang, bang. Each in a different direction but no less precise than the one before. The first ricocheted off the pan and hit the green bottle, just as the second hit the red bottle. The three-shot volley was aimed at the branch the bottles sat on, causing it to crack and dangle even closer to the ground. And just when you thought the show couldn't be more over the top, the sniper swiveled his rifle toward the sky at a passing bird, clipped its wing with a shot, and then whipped out a pistol from his hip and fired at the remaining blue bottle just before the branch snapped and fell to the ground.

A few seconds later, the bird tumbled on top of the pile of shattered glass and splintered wood.

"Aaaand training is now over," said Hunter with a nod of his head. He raised his voice as he called out to his brother. "You'd better clean that shit up!"

The sniper flipped him the bird before sauntering off to clean up.

"Uh, you alright?"

Hunter paused in his own packing of gear to give you a concerned look. You were still staring after the newcomer, undoubtedly the lone Batcher you had yet to meet. Crosshair. Your brain had short-circuited with what you had witnessed him do, yes. But it was more than that. There was something about him. Something intriguing and attractive. Different than anyone you had ever known, and yet, somehow feeling so real and comfortable at the same time.

After a few waves of your friend's hand in your face, you snapped back.

"That," you breathed.

Hunter cocked a confused eyebrow.

"That is what I'm looking for."

* * *

Vandor-3. Clone training facility: recreation sector. Summer.

You were insanely busy. Separatist activity was ramping up in almost every corner of the galaxy and the GAR was responding to each new threat with full force. Rotations of new clone units were frequently arriving at the facility, one after another. You'd cycle them through a few trainings to get them certified on whatever was needed and then ship them right back out. And in between were all the additional tasks that needed to be taken care of. Piles of paperwork and coordinating schedules and ship inspections and updated security debriefings.

And yet through it all, you still had time to entertain the one thought that buzzed in the background of your mind: Crosshair. Every meeting, every meal, every training sim, first thing in the morning and last thing at night. He was there. Crosshair, Crosshair, Crosshair. On your mind, in your heart, driving you absolutely mad.

In the beginning you'd pretended it wasn't about him, specifically. You were simply happy to know what you wanted now, that you had a type and it existed. That was all. Hunter had turned up his nose, completely bewildered as to why that would be your type. You hadn't been able to give him much at the time; it would take you many rotations more to start describing the details of your newly discovered attraction.

But over time, it became harder to push aside the nagging thought that you hadn't found what you were looking for, but rather who. Specifically. Exactly. Why try to find someone like him when you already liked... him?

Oh there were plenty of ways you could answer that question, all of them self-deprecating and none of them productive. You could count on one hand now the number of times you had been in the same room as him, let alone interacted with him. The Batch may be frequenting the place more often as the war picked up, but not nearly as often as you needed to gauge whether someone like Crosshair would, could, or honestly even should be as interested in you as you were in him.

Today they were back on the grounds so Hunter could fill out some paperwork, and your heart had not stopped racing all morning. It was practically threatening to punch right out of your chest and run away. You weren't sure why, considering you'd probably only end up seeing Hunter this time. The rest of the Batch usually didn't venture into the facility unless they were staying overnight. But it seemed even knowing Crosshair was on the same planet as you got you worked up these days.

You carried Hunter's stack of paperwork with you now, intending to drop it off to him in between some meetings you had. As you hustled down the halls, you rehearsed a few ways you could subtly ask him how Crosshair was doing.

But as it turned out, you would have the opportunity to ask him yourself. If you could get over your frazzled shock at finding him in the rec room instead of Hunter.

The room was conveniently empty, making the silence between you that much more potent. Crosshair was standing awkwardly to the side, just behind one of the battered sofas, as if he had already been confused about what he should be doing before you pushed through the door. He stared at you and you stared at him and the moment only lasted for a few seconds but it felt like an eternity.

"Oh, um. Hi. Crosshair." You averted your gaze, despite having prayed the past several nights that you could see his face again soon. "I was... expecting Hunter."

That didn't sound right. You hoped he didn't take that to mean that you'd prefer if Hunter was here now. Obviously you didn't.

"He stepped out," Crosshair responded in that cool, even tone of his. Your eyes couldn't help but snap back to his as he talked. You wanted him to say more but he never did.

"Oh, okay. I just had some paperwork to give him."

Crosshair only hummed at first. You shuffled your feet a bit, debating whether you should make an attempt at small talk, try to coax more out of him, maybe even hint that you were interested in him. The thought terrified you, but not as much as the thought of being alone. You couldn't complain about that if you continued to let these opportunities pass by without at least trying to make a connection.

You shifted your weight again, intending to keep your feet planted so you wouldn't make a run for it, and Crosshair uttered your name hurriedly.

"Wait," he said. He'd thought you were leaving. You widened your eyes at him, waiting to hear what he'd wanted to tell you first. He seemed to hesitate before finally saying, "I was wondering if you knew what soup they were serving today?"

"Oh. Uh, potato, I think."

"How boring."

You smirked. "I know, right? They could at least serve it with some hot sauce."

Crosshair hummed.

The silence settled back in, though now you felt better about things. You'd practically had a conversation. Learned a little more about each other. It was a good start. 

Your commlink suddenly beeped at your side and you blanched, remembering the meeting you were supposed to be heading to.

"I uh, I've got to go. It was nice talking to you."

It pained you to cut off your moment with him so quickly, but alas you were left with no choice. You shuffled back out into the corridor, though you only made it a few steps before realizing you still had Hunter's paperwork and could just leave it with Crosshair.

The rec room had an old school door that swung in and out on hinges. It was slightly ajar from when you passed through, and already in the few seconds since something was happening on the other side of it. You could hear more voices.

"...the kriff was that?" First, the deep tones of Hunter, equal parts annoyed and weary.

"That wasn't the plan." Then, the resolute voice of Echo, backing him up.

"What?" Crosshair bit back at them.

"You were supposed to ask her out," Hunter clarified.

"No, that was not the plan," Crosshair countered. "I needed to lay some groundwork first."

"You call that groundwork? You were talking about soup."

"And she agreed. No one ever agrees with me on the soup around here."

"What a special connection," Echo said.

Hunter sighed so hard you swore you could feel the breeze through the doorway. "You know, sometimes I think some work on your communication skills wouldn't be such a bad idea."

"What?"

"Never mind. Do what you like. Keep pushing away anyone who tries to love you and see where that gets you. Just know that it's exhausting, watching the two of you dance around each other like this."

"And kind of pathetic," added Echo.

You were against the wall by the door, holding in your breath for so long you were about to pass out. Or maybe it was the euphoria of knowing Crosshair was interested that made your head sway. Regardless, you had mere moments to make a move or let the opportunity pass. You dug into your pocket, fished out a pen, and scribbled a note on the top page of paperwork. Was it professional? Absolutely not. But the GAR would get over it. You left the papers by the door, making sure your note was turned to face it.

There's better soups on Coruscant. Let's go out sometime.

* * *

Vandor-3. Woodland outskirts. Autumn.

You were alone, standing in the middle of the training field, the early setting sun behind you casting a dim shadow across the remains of your latest training exercise. A chill was just starting to set in, causing you to tug at your jacket and pull it around you a bit tighter. You liked these moments, rare as they were recently. A quiet time to yourself. Not even to think, but simply to be. Present and comfortable. And you.

The wind picked up and sang through the taller blades of grass as a ship approached for landing. Your moment was over, but a new happiness settled in its place. Minutes later, the Havoc Marauder was opening its hatch and spitting out its soldiers.

"Captain," Hunter gave you a two-finger salute as he passed by.

"Sergeant," you returned with a smile.

Echo was close behind, giving you a respectful nod. Wrecker hauled a munitions crate in one hand and hit you up for a high five with the other. Tech was oblivious as he hunched over a data pad.

They filed by, one after the other, headed straight for the barracks, and what you hoped were the showers. They all knew not to linger, that you'd catch up with them later. This was your time with Crosshair.

The sniper was leaning up against the hatch opening, arms folded across a plastoid chest and a toothpick lazily perched between slightly curled lips. He took you in for a moment and you could feel yourself glowing in response to his soft gaze.

"Showing those clankers who's boss, I see," he said as he made his way down the gangway. He nodded his head toward the mess of scrap metal behind you.

You gave a half shrug. "My reaction time is getting better, but I still can't get the angles right with those pucks."

Crosshair inched up to you, gently resting his hands on either side of your waist. "Have you been doing the breathing exercises like I showed you?"

You nodded. Your hands instinctually came up to his run along his arms until they found the crook of his elbows, the only place not barring your touch by armor.

"And using the laser sight?"

You nodded a little slower and Crosshair tsked.

"I want to be good without it. Like you." You added a little extra honey to your words so he wouldn't reprimand you too much. It had been an adjustment for the two of you at first, he stepping into a training role and you stepping back to receive instruction for once. Thankfully the frustrations seemed to diminish the more your relationship progressed.

"You have to be patient," he said, giving your waist a slight squeeze to accentuate his point. "You aren't like the regs you train. You're building your skills, taking care of yourself."

You hummed, more in thought than agreement. "Will I ever have to use these skills someday, do you think? Is it really getting that bad out there?"

You tried not to think about how many soldiers you had trained only to be sent to a battlefield to die. How many of the shinies you were drilling right now would likely be killed soon. How many more would be brought in to take their place. You'd thought you'd known what you were getting yourself into with this job. But the relentless cycle of it all was getting to you more and more, especially as the Republic continued to be challenged in larger scales and higher stakes. It never seemed to end.

"It's hard to say," Crosshair responded. "We have to prepare for the worst."

You hated that answer, but you wouldn't let him see it. Not yet. Your fears and your displeasures, anger and sorrow, were things yet to be fully explored in this new relationship. All in due time. So you simply smiled, plucked the toothpick out of his mouth and tossed it aside. 

"And hope for the best, right?"

He smiled back, or at least moved his mouth in the direction of a smile, as much as you could usually get from the reserved man. "Yes, of course."

He leaned forward and rested his forehead against yours. You both closed your eyes and breathed each other in. There was warmth in his embrace. A promise in the steady hands he held you with. Vulnerability in the skin that gently touched yours. To have someone this close, someone who was still more stranger than friend, though no less beloved, was what you had always wanted. And for once, what you wanted was just as lovely and fulfilling as you'd hoped. No catch. No deals. No unintended consequences. Just you and him and happiness.

All too soon he pulled away. His hand sought yours as he turned in the direction of the barracks. The longer you stayed behind, the worse the teasing from the others would be. They were only respectful of your relationship to a point, and after that it was fair game for a laugh. So you willingly followed.

"Crosshair?"

"Hm?"

"I was thinking about Hunter...."

The sniper glanced at you suspiciously.

"Well, you know he and I have been friends for a while. And he's confided a few things in me before. About what he wants. Or thinks he wants. He's changed his mind a few times on the specifics. But all in the same gist."

"Where are you going with this?"

"I don't know, I just feel like I owe him for helping me get through a tough time. And if it weren't for him, I wouldn't have ever met you. So--"

Crosshair cut you off with a groan. "If you're trying to get me to play matchmaker..."

"It would get some of the attention off of us," you quickly offered. "If Hunter had someone he was bringing around, too. Or even just interested in."

Crosshair frowned in thought. "There was a bartender on Scarif he kept checking out..."

You grinned and squeezed his hand affectionately. "See? Just keep an eye out and nudge him a bit. Who knows what could happen."

You could tell he was trying not to roll his eyes for your sake. Instead he squeezed your hand in return. "Or you could come with us and nudge him yourself?"

Your walking slowed, right as you were about to cross the facility boundary line. You would have to let go of his hand once you crossed it, keep a professional distance, share your company with others. And once the Batch's business here concluded, then you would have to let him go and watch him disappear into the sky with all the prayers you could possibly send with him. And then you would be on your own. Waiting, waiting, always waiting. And maybe he would return, and maybe he wouldn't.

And heaven forbid you would ever end up alone again.

"Or you can stay," he said. The quietness of his voice betrayed what he really meant, what he really wanted. 

And you knew what you wanted, too. Without you realizing, it was getting easier and easier for you to define your desires. And not only that, but to pursue them, too. To know your happiness was worth the risk of disappointment. It was clear to you now that you were not only worthy, but also capable. The man standing before you, holding your hand, gazing at you like nothing else mattered, was proof enough.

And so you said, "Take me with you."

Every Character Tag: @dangerousstrawberrypie, @justanothersadperson93, @arctrooper69, @sleepycreativewriter, @techie-bear, @theroguesully, @cw80831, @cdblake1565

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[mcflymemes]

STAR WARS: EPISODE VI - RETURN OF THE JEDI PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the 1983 film, adjust as necessary

i'll not leave you here. i've got to save you.

what i told you was true... from a certain point of view.

you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view.

there is still good in him.

you may dispense with the pleasantries.

i'm here to put you back on schedule.

perhaps i can find new ways to motivate them.

we shall double our efforts.

don't talk that way.

you have a power i don't understand and could never have.

i know. somehow, i've always known.

he must be allowed to speak.

it's your choice, but i warn you not to underestimate my powers.

i shall enjoy watching you die.

good, i hate long waits.

doesn't sound so bad.

she was very beautiful. kind, but sad.

so you have accepted the truth?

that name no longer has any meaning for me.

you want this, don't you? the hate is swelling in you now.

it is unavoidable. it is your destiny.

how many languages do you speak?

you are unwise to lower your defenses.

all craft, prepare to retreat.

we've got to give him more time.

it's an older code, sir, but it checks out.

there may be more of them out there.

i have a really bad feeling about this.

it only takes one to sound the alarm.

you cannot escape your destiny.

i can't kill my own father.

why don't you use your divine influence and get us out of this?

i beg your pardon, but that just wouldn't be proper.

you were our only hope.

soon i'll be dead, and you with me.

your insight serves you well.

bury your feelings deep down, [name].

help me take this mask off.

i do believe they think i am some sort of god.

i can't see! what's going on?

i assure you, we are quite safe from your friends here.

i'm out of it for a little while, everyone gets delusions of grandeur.

if you will not fight, then you will meet your destiny.

just for once... let me look on you with my own eyes.

no, you're coming with me.

your overconfidence is your weakness.

you were right. you were right about me.

together again, huh?

i feel the good in you, the conflict.

there is no conflict.

you couldn't bring yourself to kill me before and i don't believe you'll destroy me now.

you've failed.

who are you?

you cannot hide forever.

i will not fight you.

it is the only way you can save your friends.

your thoughts betray you.

when he comes back, i won't get in the way.

it's not like that at all.

i can't do it. i can't go on alone.

i think my eyes are getting better.

there's nothing to see. i used to live here, you know.

how could they be jamming us if they don't know if we're coming.

break off the attack! the shield is still up!

take evasive action!

keep your distance, though, but don't look like you're trying to keep your distance.

i don't know. fly casual.

you can't do this. i feel the conflict within you. let go of your hate.

this is an unexpected pleasure.

you're going to die here, you know. convenient.

tell me. what's troubling you?

you're a jittery little thing, aren't you?

i just said you were a fair pilot!

i'm surprised they didn't ask you to do it.

[ddollfface]

is it possible for you to expand on the alphabet ‘H’ for yandere!athlete? I’m just curious to see the full extent of his punishment when he ‘snaps’. You don’t have to. This is my first ask so I’m just curious

— 🐏 anon

𝐀 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝

𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗦𝗶𝗰𝗸!𝗔𝘁𝗵𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲 𝘅 𝗳𝗲𝗺!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

"I'm not feeling myself today, so it's alright if I feel you instead?"

Trigger Warnings; bad writing, lovesick behavior, manipulation, toxic relationship, love bombing, reader is called 'girlfriend', fake emotional cheating (it'll make more sense later), um I think that's it, pretty tame ngl, honestly it's shorter than my usual posts sorry(( If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ You are now 🐏!Nonny! Congratulations, you now have your own tag! I hope this is up to your standards... I kind of went on a tiny, just a tiny tangent, but what's new lol

Okay, ngl, I've been waiting for someone to ask about this, so thank you 🐏!Nonny for asking)))

Now, to the question. I would like to preface that it would be very, very, very difficult to make LoveSick!Athlete 'snap', seeing as he's a very patient person, especially with those he's close to. Growing up, he had to be patient and easygoing. He was the oldest of his siblings, so he had to be responsible; had to step up as a father figure for his younger siblings, as he never had a real dad.

He's very soft with you, always speaking kindly, and never letting his anger or annoyance get a hold of him. He wants to be the best for you, truly, but there are just some things that make people... y'know snap. Even for people like LoveSick!Athlete, who has the patience of a saint.

So, now that we know this, we have to think of a scenario of when and why you'd ever push LoveSick!Athlete over the edge; what would've you said to make him that angry?

It'd probably be something along the lines of questioning either his loyalty to you, or the caliber of his love for you, and how much he provides for you. You'd have to take away his purpose and smush it; dragging it through the mud, and spit on it. Now, that would get him going. There's one thing that LoveSick!Athlete hates, and that's someone who's ungrateful.

He's done so, so, so much for you, can't you see?

It would've started from an argument, likely you bringing up how he seems too receptive to other girls on campus, too willing with their antics. And that just didn't sit right with you. You didn't like your boyfriend, in this scenario, hanging around with girls, who you thought to be very, very, very pretty.

Of course, LoveSick!Athlete thought this to be insane, something he hadn't even thought about. Ever since the two of you started dating, he hasn't even looked at a girl, let alone thought about sleeping with one. How could you even say that?

In this scenario, I can see LoveSick!Athlete being petty and becoming flirtatious with other girls just to show you that his behavior before was nothing. If you thought that was flirtatious, then wait until you see him now. Instead of pushing the girls to the side, excusing himself before they could corner him, now he's looking the girls up and down, giving them a little smirk, leading them on. He might even set a hand on their lower back, leading them through the party, maybe even kiss her on the cheek, if you've been rather ungrateful.

Now, LoveSick!Athlete isn't enjoying this, after all, you're his one and only, but you have to learn your lesson. You have to understand that he's been so kind to you, so appreciative of your relationship. Don't you understand? He doesn't like doing this; it's a punishment.

You, seeing all of this, would obviously be distraught. You'd feel so, so, so betrayed. Where had your sweet, loving boyfriend gone? Why was he replaced by some sleazy womanizer? You'd be both sad and pissed the fuck off. You wanted him to tone it down, not multiply it by one hundred!

No matter what, even if you're angry as hell, you'll end up in LoveSick!Athlete's arms, hugging him tightly. He'll find a way to sweet talk you back to him, telling you that you're his only one, that he's just showing you that it wasn't that bad. He'll explain his public image to you; he's gotta stay on top of it, surely you understand, babe? I have no interest in those girls. They're just thinking with what's between their legs. You have to trust me.

Now, that's if you question his loyalty to you, but if you question how much he loves you (which is kinda of related to loyalty, but just ignore that), then you'll face a different type of manipulation. Mans got a whole tool belt on him (I've been waiting to say that lol).

Questioning how much he values you, your affections, your words, and your presence, will lead to love bombing. And for those who don't know what love bombing is, it's a manipulation tactic where the manipulator will use excessive affection to make their victim depend on them for love, believing that they'll only be valued by the manipulator.

LoveSick!Athlete is very familiar with this form of love since he grew up with a mama who has bipolar disorder-

(To be clear, I don't mean to say that everyone with bipolar disorder is a mass manipulator or anything. In certain people, especially mamas who are juggling an abusive marriage, two children, and postpartum all at once, it can be a lot and lead to bad behaviors. Just wanted to say that as someone who deals with a mama with bipolar disorder)

-Now, as a young adult, he's grown the habit of absentmindedly using manipulation tactics to get what he wants. It'll all start with a small argument, you'll question his lover for you, if he even cares for you. After all, he seems to be more attentive over his image than you, his girlfriend!

And all LoveSick!Athlete will do is smile at you, saying that he understands your concerns and that he'll do better. Obviously, this will confuse the hell out of you. Who responds to an argument like that? Certainly, no man you've ever dated!

Even if he doesn't realize it, he'll begin to show excessive amounts of affection after the argument. He'll constantly be giving you hugs, clinging onto you like a leach, and spamming you with messages/calls. You'll grow accustomed to the overbearing affections, allowing it to become a part of your daily life, but the moment you're used to it, he'll rip it away.

Suddenly, it's as if you don't even exist, like you're just another girl to him. Of course, he'll acknowledge you as his girlfriend, but he's no longer touching you. He's not hugging you, having an arm wrapped around you waist, nor is he holding your hand in public. It's as if he's embarrassed about your relationship. You'll begin to think that LoveSick!Athlete is cheating on you (he's not).

And this sudden behavior change is so delayed that you won't even relate it to your argument, thinking that it was a whole separate issue. And LoveSick!Athlete won't realize it either; it's just subconcious decision he made without knowing.

At some point, you'll come crawling back to him, desperately wanting the affection you used to be overwhelmed by. Of course, LoveSick!Athlete will be overjoyed, welcoming your upfront behavior with open arms. To you, this is like whiplash. Just a few days ago, he was off-putting, giving you the cold shoulder, and now he's leaning on you as if he can't stand himself, what the hell is going on?

And that's when you realize that you're not dating the most... stable individual...

Not to mention what he let his teammates do to you... but that's for another ask, yeah?

[wilwheaton]

Hi Mr. Wheaton. We met briefly at Ad Astra some years ago, and I told you that I really appreciated your columns in Dungeon Magazine. Looking back at them now, I have to say that I've only gained further appreciation - it's really meaningful to see someone talking about their experiences sharing the things they love with the people that they love. At the time, you seemed a little sad when I mentioned them, so I hope this is a net positive, but I wanted to tell you that I appreciate them all.

Oh thank you. I had fun writing them, but the subscribers HATED my columns, and were not shy about extending that loud and vicious hate to me. And nobody at the magazine pushed back or spoke up for me.

I mean, I was hired to write about gaming, to write columns about playing other games and living life against the backdrop and through the lens of D&D ... and when I did that, the readers were furious that a single page at the end of the magazine wasn't another page of monster stats.

And the editor who hired me, with that understanding, did not support me in public or even in private. I felt betrayed, left exposed and unprotected. I don't recall anyone, certainly not that editor, speaking up and telling these angry people that I was writing what he'd hired me to write, that he'd told me how much he loved every column I turned in, or giving me any support or defense.

That hurt me. I was still kind of a baby writer then, and being thrown to the wolves like that shook my confidence and made me question why I was hired in the first place. I concluded that it was a stunt to get attention, to draw on what was, at the time, my wildly popular blog, and to extract whatever they could extract from me.

In other words, it was shitty business being shitty business, but it was presented to me as something else.

I've never forgotten how bad I felt through all of that, how much it hurt and how betrayed I felt.

Oh, did I mention I got $50 per column? I did it all for about half a cent a word, not for the money but because I wanted to write and I loved (and love) RPGs.

Ultimately, it was a disappointing experience for me. I still think the stuff I wrote then was fine. It was the best I could do, it was what I was hired to do, and I wish I'd been more supported by the editors. I wish anyone at Dungeon had said a single kind thing to me when I quit the column, but I recall just feeling like the guy I'd been working with and writing for was just like, "oh thank god this is over now I can go back to be loved by gamers."

So, yeah, I was sad because the whole thing is sad and disappointing.

But, all these years later, it's really nice to hear from someone who enjoyed what they asked me to write for them.

May all your rolls be critical successes!

[hannigramislife]

I’m really curious on your thoughts on Chuuya/Dazai VS Kunikida/Dazai. Why do you like the latter more?

(this is just curiosity! I don’t ship either, and I kinda think he has a similar dynamic with both of them so I was wondering what your thoughts are?)

Hello friend! Thank you for the ask!

I wish I could give a detailed and valid analysis on this, but ultimately, I cannot. Mainly because I deeply dislike Dazai, therefore I don't feel the same emotions as his fans do when he interacts with Chuuya or Kunikida. So I guess I will just explain my personal preference.

Now, I like Chuuya a lot. I like his personality, his character, his design. No special emotional connection to him though, so it's not like I hate skk (though the way the fandom makes Beast about them does fill me with rage enough to not want to encounter skk sometimes) for any reason like "Oh, Chuuya deserves better" or "Dazai is shitty to him!" or whatnot. To me, it simply doesn't feel like their relationship now has any more room for improvement? Or surprise? Like, there's no real tension between them (I mean problematic tension, not sexual, we all watched Dead Apple).

They don't really hate each other, and they both know it. They work well together, they understand each other, they make each other feel human. Nothing has really changed between them since I've started the show. The dynamic is very constant, so it's a little boring, for me. I don't feel any yearning between them, or unresolved past issues. Like, Chuuya didn't feel betrayed when Dazai left. Dazai doesn't feel any guilt. Emotionally, I get nothing between them that's interesting to me, as an audience.

With Kunizai however, I'm wide awake and watching. Because they're such different people with such different morals and boundaries, they're instantly more interesting to me. Yes, Dazai annoys Kunikida the way he did Chuuya, but Kunikida is less likely to relent to Dazai's ways when the situation calls for it. Chuuya feels like he's resigned to Dazai's omniscient nature, knowing what to expect of him, knowing he's likely playing right into the other's plans when in a fight, but Kunikida is very willing to grab him by the collar and ask, "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

I also feel like Kunikida taught Dazai a lot without even knowing. About kindness, and how to be human, just by being himself. Kunikida cared, so Dazai also learnt how to care. Plus, the fact that he reminds Dazai of Oda??

They feel softer, but like there's room to grow. It's something new. It's Dazai stepping into a new world than he was used to and finding a companion that reached a hand out without judgment or fear. It's two ends of the spectrum; a person who wants to die and a person who wants to make the most out of life.

[meowyn]

This method acting might pay our bills

1.7k words, enver gortash x the dark urge.

no smut! lots of kisses, fluffy kinda idk, durge constantly having inner monologues lol, heavily implied first kiss for durge.

It was often difficult for you to forget who you were, what you were. A wretched blade, stained with the blood of countless men, the strength of your faith so mighty that you could never be dulled no matter how many you slayed in the name of your God.

Only tonight, you were forgetting. Tonight, thoughts plagued your mind like flies around a rotting corpse. Thoughts of whom, you could never admit out loud.

Enver Gortash; the bane of your existence.

The Chosen of Bane being the source of your recent troubles was something you would have never predicted, the absurdity of the situation you now found yourself in was enough to make you want to claw out your eyes. Your hands twitched eargerly at the thought.

You found it hard to pinpoint exactly when this had started, perhaps when you met? Long nights spent creating ploys, yearning, drinking, and coming to understand one another better than anyone else blurred the lines. Before you knew it, you wanted less and less to see what grand artwork he would become in the name Bhaal and moreso the kind of faces he'd make fast asleep and safe in slumber. It didn't help that you found him sickeningly attractive.

Denying your affection for the man proved tedious. You had never bothered to learn how to act, let alone deny yourself of anything you wanted for this long, now painfully aware that you aren't even remotely talented at it. It was about time that you admitted to yourself that you felt more for him than petty admiration. However, to do so, you'd be committing your first sin against Father. Unbeknownst to you, the first sin of many. There would be no coming back after that.

"There you are, I've been looking for you." Spoke the devil himself, interrupting your train of thought as he sat down next to you.

You didn't bother answering him, choosing to continue staring out at the sea, which seemed to be further away now compared to when you were lost in your mind.

"What are you doing? I didn't have you pegged as the brooding type." Upon realizing you were in a fairly calm mood, he sat a little closer to you. If he noticed the way you tensed, he didn't comment on it.

"I'm not.." The words died in your throat, making you frown. When you spoke again, you found your tone had adopted a softness wholly foreign to you, "I'm people watching, as they call it."

He studied your face for a moment, before following your gaze down to the shoreline. He hummed in amusement when he saw what you were looking at, civilians of all kinds simply going about their daily lives. For a moment, he wondered wether you envied them, then remembered who you were. You noticed this seemed to surprise him with the way he looked back at you, the slight upturn of his lips indicated that he was considering teasing you about it, but he never did. It both pleased and frustrated you immensely, knowing how he'd take your feelings into consideration before he acted, despite never thinking you had any yourself. You silently hoped this was some scheme of his, that he was manipulating you like he had so many others, so that you could have a reason to want to kill him.

"..Why?" Your hopes were quickly snuffed out at his curiosity and the gentleness of which he spoke, making your chest tighten.

"All of them are so small, so insignificant, and yet.." You don't continue that thought, your tone betraying your melancholy, "They look happy enough, don't they?"

Your anemoia didn't go unnoticed by him, but the sense of finality to your last sentence indicated you didn't want to talk about it further, so he left it alone. Gods forbid he invoke your wrath here, where he had finally got you all to himself to talk to you as he wished.

You watch out the corner of your eye as he unwraps a small package he had taken from his pocket, revealing an assortment of sliced fruits. When he notices your gaze, he offers you some. Then he chuckles when your nose wrinkles and you shake your head.

"You don't like them? I thought you did, you ate all the fruit at the table during our last meeting."

"They're sour, I don't like those ones."

"Ah." He nods quietly, wrapping them back up and putting them in his pocket, "Apologies, I'll keep that in mind."

If you looked, which you do, you'd notice how his hair looked a little messier than usual and that he appeared to have just come from the baths based on the slight flush of colour on his cheeks. From here, you could feel how warm he was and the subtle scent of soap invaded your senses. You figured it couldn't hurt, so you moved closer so that your shoulders brushed together, all while staring back out to the sea intently.

"Why were you looking for me?" You ask after a short while.

"I wanted to see you." He says, as though it was obvious. Open with his affection while simultaneously keeping his cards close to his chest, which was so typical of him.

"What for? A cuddle?" You respond with sarcasm, grinning at him as though the idea was foolish. A warning, really. You could slit his throat right here and he wouldn't be able to do much about it. You then frowned, closing your eyes temporarily as the urge took delight in that thought.

"Tempting.." He mutters, taking your hand slowly. You take a measured breath and when you open your eyes again, he's smiling at you fondly.

You hum quietly in agreement, curling in on yourself in shame. You'd apologize to Father properly later, but right now you needed to let him know how you felt, even through an action so small. The guilt would surely eat you alive, it was already starting to, settling uncomfortably in the pit of your stomach whilst a repulsive warmth crept up your spine, seeping into the cracks of your blackened heart with unadulterated vengeance. The only thing keeping you from baring your teeth, from tearing skin from bone, from giving in to your vicious indulgence as a pathetic attempt to escape the confusing feelings swarming your brain and suffocating you was something as mundane as him squeezing your hand.

How cruel, you thought, to have to live alongside Enver Gortash and not be allowed to love him freely.

All it took was one last look into his eyes, and that delicate thread that held you both in your respective places snapped. With newfound vigor, he surged forward and kissed you, determined and desperate to take from you whatever you'd allow. After half a minute or so, as if remembering himself, he eased back to take in your expression, preparing himself to face your fury and be annihilated.

However, the sight before him now made his knees weak, yet not with fear. You were a beauty. Glossy lips parted as you caught your breath, eyes wide and dazed, and the most charming tinge of pink across your face. So incredibly precious, he couldn't withhold the satisfied chuckle that escaped him.

"What?" You frowned, trying to decipher what was so amusing to him, though that only served to make him laugh more, the sound coming from deep within his chest.

"Oh, my dear assassin.." His laughter died down, but the mirth in his eyes did not, "You will surely be the cause of my ruin."

"Don't be foolish." You hissed, fingers snaking into the hair at his nape and pulling him to you to kiss him once more, this urge more ravenous than the one that calls you to slaughter. All lips and teeth colliding, you greedily grab at his hair and tug, urging him to give you more of whatever this was.

"Easy.." He murmured, nudging your noses together as his arm curled around you and brought you closer to him, "Not so harsh."

You felt his hand cup your jaw, thumb swiping across your cheek, the action calming you as you loosened your grip on him. All you knew was harsh. You were bred to make the world bleed. This was new, this was frightening, a tenderness so unknown to you that it shattered every perception of mortal relationships you had spent your entire life building.

He kissed you once softly, then twice as though he could sense your unease.

"It's alright, you know," He said as his palm smoothed circles into your back, "That you don't know what you're doing."

You opened your mouth immediately to protest, then scowled upon realizing it would be pointless, he was right. Your method acting thus far had been excellent, flawless even, so much so that it was to the point where when it came to anything else, you were at a loss.

"Do you truly believe I'm capable of more?" You ask, your voice a little less than a whisper.

"I do. Do you?"

He replied, without missing a beat.

You didn't know. Being more than an executioner was never something you had thought about. You didn't even think yourself capable of such thoughts until he came along, with all of his wonderful ideas and genius inventions, sparking new inspiration in your mind. Father would not approve. Gortash brought forth temptation, guilt and a new feeling that bubbled away, warm and dizzying in your veins, making it hard to care about anything else.

You didn't wish to think on it anymore, so you shut your eyes and took the liberty of tucking your head under his chin, both of you sitting there in silence for a while longer. For once, your mind was quiet.

"How did you manage to get up here?" Your question almost breaks the peaceful atmosphere, but you continue on, "I hadn't thought you were all that athletic."

"Not to worry, I'll be sure to change your persuasion in time." You could hear the amusement plain in his tone, he was teasing you. As soon as your head snapped toward him, giving him an incredulous look, he could only start laughing.

[kitsune-oji]

There's No Guarantee You will be Different

Mc who has been hurt a lot in the past (betrayed, lied to, used) even by those that promised otherwise and were nice at first and struggles to trust others because of it. Not understanding why someone would actually like/love them or not believing them, being scared of getting hurt again and again like in the past.

Characters: Barbatos, Beelzebub

-> feel free to request this with other obey me characters too

Gn! Mc (you/yours)

Warnings/tags: hurt/comfort-y, Reader described as kind and tryna see the best in everyone

"You keep saying you love me, you keep promising that you will never leave, that you'll never hurt me... How do you know that? There's no guarantee. In the past, I've trusted those who told me all that and in the end, they ended up breaking all their promises anyway. Please, don't promise me things you can't keep. Even if you think you can keep them now, you don't know how it will be in the future. Maybe you'll get sick of me too, just like everyone else. I love you too but... I'm just scared. I'm sorry."

Barbatos

"No, please don't apologise. You have every right to be scared and I'm so sorry that you've been hurt so much in the past. I understand that words won't convince you or rid you of your fears, so please... Let me prove it to you with my actions instead."

While Barbatos could technically look into the future, he would have to get Diavolo's permission. After all, he gave away his responsibility over his powers to his master because such knowledge only ended up bringing him sadness before

He's angry at the fact you've been hurt before and so many times at that. You're just too kind, he figures. Always trying to see the good in others and being much more vulnerable than you like to think

With a heart so big, it shouldn't really be surprising anyway

Barbatos decides to protect you as much as possible at least now and to show you just how much he actually loves you through his actions. He would have either way but now it's all the more important

He's literally always there when you need him. It only needs a word from you and he's teleporting to your side in an instant. Diavolo already knows what's up and Barbatos started always preparing everything so that even if he left on a moments notice, his master wouldn't have to miss his service for a second

Since he understands your fears, Barbatos doesn't mind if you need to ask him over and over if he still loves you, if he really won't leave, if you've done something wrong that would finally make him sick of you - he does, he won't, you didn't. Holding you close and letting you cry against his chest is one of the few ways he can soothe you and he's more than happy to do so, gently whispering to you that he does love you and you've done nothing wrong and you deserve so much, even if others hurt you before and couldn't see it

But he doesn't just want to be there when you're down, no

Without particular pattern, Barbatos tries to do little things to make you happy. Instead of one big thing, he likes to pepper them throughout your days to make your time a little sweeter. Like making you your favorite treats or drinks, getting you something you've been needing or wanting recently, just popping in sometime for a hug, a kiss maybe or planning little dates for you two. Whether it be inside - cooking/baking together, watching movies, playing games etc - or outside - a Café date, a picnic, going to a museum

He wants to make sure that you feel loved and when you don't, he just want to be there to remind you that you are, even if you don't believe it

Beelzebub

"... No, I'm sorry. Even if you struggle to understand why, I do love you. Can you allow me to love you anyway, despite your fears? Please."

He's not the best with words but Beel felt his heart shatter when you told him about how you've been treated in the past. It only reinforced his opinion that he needs to protect you, though now also emotionally from others and maybe yourself

Still, he's not one to back down from such a challenge. You're family, you're his friend and his partner and if he didn't at least try, he'd surely be damned to depths even deeper than the devildom

Beel tries to keep close to you, unafraid to show everyone just how much you mean to him. He offers you his favorite foods and makes an effort to get you yours or even try his hand at making them himself

He's always around the corner when you need him, with a big hug and gentle kisses to your head or an intimidating face and strength if anyone is being an ass to you

Even if one of his brothers is the one saying or doing something shitty, Beel speaks up and tells them off for it

Unafraid of a fight because if he can't stand up to those closest to him, it doesn't mean anything when he stands up to strangers, right? (yes, even Lucifer)

Beel seeks out your company as much as possible and invites you to come with him if he needs to go somehwere/accompanies you if you want him to. Unless of course you need you-time or have other plans, though he will make sure to tell you that he's just a message or a call away. A promise which he makes sure to keep every time

[gayuu-the-necromancer]

｡⋆｡˚🦋˚｡⋆｡

At Liam's suggestion, I decided to try both Jude and Ellis.

Liam: "In the end, your worry is that they might betray the Crown and sell our information somewhere else, right?"

Liam: "Then I thought, why not just leave the important documents there and see what happens?"

Harrison: "And where did you leave what?"

Liam: "A list of targets. I purposely dropped in the corridor next to Jude's room."

Harrison: "That's too obvious."

Liam: "What's the point if they don't notice it, right?"

While they were chatting, Jude enters the dining room.

Liam: "Ah, good morning Jude!"

Glancing at Liam, who greeted warmly with a gorgeous smile that charmed everyone, Jude tossed a paper in front of Liam.

Liam: "Hm? ...Ahh...I was looking for this. Thank you."

Jude: "These are confidential, isn't it?"

Liam: "Yes yes...I was so worried about losing it that I was crying to Harry, asking him what to do. If Victor found out that I had lost it, he would have been furious."

Jude: "Have you ever thought about 'trying to look for it' before crying?"

Liam: "Hahaha, you're right. Still, thanks for finding it for me."

Jude: "......You know, if I exposed this to the outside world, it would have ended both you and the Crown, right?"

Liam: "....!"

Jude: "Because you cannot trust people who can't keep a secret."

Liam: "Mm....I understand. I'll be careful."

Liam: "Ah...he's gone."

Liam: "What should I do, Harry? Does he hate me now...?"

Harrison: "I don't think so. His attitude is always like that, so don't worry about it."

Liam: "I feel right now, what he meant to say was 'Don't put the Crown at risk' right?"

Harrison: "If that's the case, that doesn't sound too bad."

Liam: "The fact that not only he picked up the papers but also gave me an advice, increases his credibility, don't you think?"

Harrison: "Well, maybe it was worth all that hate you got."

Liam: "Ahh!!? So you do think he hates me after all----!!!"

...........

That night....

Ellis: "...Ah, Harrison."

Harrison: "Oh it's you? That's unusual at a time like this."

Ellis: "I thought I'd have something to drink before I go to sleep. Are you working even at this time? You're so dedicated."

Ellis: "Do you want me to make you a sweet cocktail? Liam told me you have sweet tooth."

Without waiting for a reply, Ellis rifled through the shelves and deftly produced Grasshopper was presented to Harrison.

Harrison: "Did you work as a bartender or something....? It's so good."

Ellis: "I'm glad you liked it."

Harrison: ".....Liam is working so hard all the time, it wouldn't be fair if I didn't get dirty too."

Ellis: "Hm? Did you say something?"

Harrison: "No. Nothing...you're pretty handy."

Ellis: "You think?"

Harrison: "And you're kind to everyone since the very beginning. That's the truth for everyone."

Harrison: "So...I'm a little suspicious of you."

Ellis: ".....?"

Harrison took out a gun from his pocket and placed it on the table.

Harrison: "I've been following you and Jude for the last few days and if I said I wanted to play a game with you, would you mind?"

Ellis: "Game?"

Harrison: "Yeah. The rules are simple."

Harrison: "I didn't put a single bullet in this."

Harrison: "If you take my word for it and pull the trigger 6 times on your own head, you win."

Ellis: "6 times, to the head?"

Harrison: "If you have nothing against us, you can do it right?"

Ellis: ".....Okay, I understand."

Ellis quickly picked up the gun and with no hesitation nimbly pulled the trigger more than 6 times,

Harrison: "Ngh..."

Ellis: "Looks like I win?"

Harrison: "....Ah..Y-Yeah.."

Ellis: "So, one less thing for you to worry about?"

Harrison: "......Pfft."

Harrison: "You didn't hesitate at all."

Ellis: "Of course. I know that Harrison is kind."

Ellis: "You don't use live ammunition to test people."

Ellis: ".....Right?"

Harrison: "....So you're saying I wasn't able to completely fool you?"

Ellis: "Hmmm.....maybe."

Harrison: "Let me just say, just because you pulled the trigger without hesitation doesn't prove you have nothing to hide."

Ellis: "So, did I make you worry more?"

Harrison: "....Nope."

Harrison: "I'm not so cynical as to continue to doubt someone who trusts me so much."

Ellis: "....Thank god. Well then, would you like to have another drink?"

Harrison: "Sure, if you're making one."

The green cocktail glasses collided, making a light sound.

And just like that, few days later...

William: "Is the investigation going well?"

Harrison: "Well, things are going well. We've come to most of our conclusions."

Harrison: "I've finished my proofreading work and about to start on with my report."

William: "Oh. Then I guess you wouldn't be needing this info."

Harrison: "What info?"

William: "I asked Jude and Ellis if they are ready for their first mission, but they rejected saying they had work commitments tonight."

William: "What do you think?"

Elbert: "If it's in the middle of the night....all their business clients would be sleeping. What are they going to do?"

Alphonse: "Aha! Now that's suspicious."

Alphonse: "Honestly I don't care if they are good or bad, but this sounds like fun. So I'll follow them to see what they are up to."

Harrison: "Are you serious right now....?"

Liam: "Actually Harry..."

Harrison: "Mm?"

Liam: "When I was trying to work out their plans, something was odd."

Liam: "I went to the port in the middle of the night....and it seemed like some kind of investigation was going on around the warehouse that Jude was renting."

Roger: "Could be an inspection?"

Liam: "But then there's this rumor....that there a bad guy who's recently been released from prison going in and out of there."

Alphonse: "I think I heard that story somewhere before....I forgot where."

Harrison: "....Okay okay."

Harrison: "I guess, this will be the final round of investigation."

[fuckthemforthis]

And what if... Ne Bi Smel isn't about the kind of cheating we think? What if it's actually about "cheating" the band and especially Kris?

We know the second album consists of more authentic Bojan's experiences, but we also know he once emphasised he never cheated. Yet the song feels highly personal, so...

Rad bi vedel kaj lahko nardim

Da mikro kozmos tvoj nazaj dobim

(I would love to know what I can do

to get your microcosm back)

-> We've noticed, especially lately, Bojan singing these words to Kris directly. We also know it was their creative differences behind pausing the band, and that the band "wasn't really cohesive and harmonious" before the pause. Hence the wondering how to get their little universe back. Both the band's, and Kris'.

Ni besed pravilnih, celo noč sem jih iskal

Razen, da iskreno rečem da neskončno mi je žal

(There are no right words, I've searched for them all night

Besides honestly saying that I'm infinitely sorry)

-> When talking about it, he looks serious and melancholic. And I can imagine him tapping his pen all night when realisation hit him, just to write this, because really, what else can he say? Even with this song, he can't find a way to take away the pain he feels he caused. And he still looks at Kris while singing this part, because again, it was their creative differences and he's possibly putting most blame on himself. Even though it's behind them now and they're stronger for it, it's probably one of the hardest experiences they shared and that bond makes him look at Krisko with all the love.

Čez resnico sem potresu svoj pepel

Večno kriv, nikoli cel

(I sprinkled my ashes over the truth

Eternally guilty, never whole)

-> He repented privately and publicly, maybe even through this song. Without getting back his band and the full depth of the relationship he shared with Kris and the rest, he could never feel whole. Like he said, he realised loneliness and solo career weren't satisfactory for him and repentantly came back.

Vem da ne bi smel, a drugače nisem znal

Ugasniti tišine, bežati od bližine

(I know I shouldn't, but I knew no better way

To turn off the silences, run away from closeness)

-> Even while writing "solo artist appropriate songs", he knew he shouldn't have been doing that. But instead of music, the band's unsynchronization provided silences that haunted him. He needed to turn them off, and rather than working on getting back their mojo and closeness, he chose the seemingly easy way out and ran away from trying.

Rane puščam si odprte, da jih objame sol

Če ne vrneš se domov

(I'm leaving my wounds open for salt to cover them

If you don't come back home)

-> He chose to not only accept - but invite the pain if he doesn't get his band back. The safety of their bond and mutual understanding prior to these mistakes felt like home. His weird ass dynamic with Kris felt like home. And if he somehow couldn't get him to fall back into what they shared, get him to forgive and come home, Bojan wasn't going to try to heal, because he believed he would deserve to suffer.

Izdal te za trenutek lažne sreče

Zdaj pa spet me k tebi vleče

(I betrayed you for a moment of false happiness

But now I'm drawn to you again)

-> He betrayed the band, and most of all Kris for what he though would be his big break and make him happy, but he realised quickly enough it was the opposite - very superficial and not doing it for him. And that is when he was drawn back to where he belonged. Kris playing Gola for him only helped cement it. Their creative differences may have helped put the band on pause, but it was probably only them that also could've - and have - resumed it.

So yeah. This is my headcanon now. Anyway...

[bengiyo]

Don't Care for an Old Man's Underwear! Ep 3 Stray Thoughts

Thanks again to @isaksbestpillow for making this watch possible.

Last time, Makoto tried to bring empathy to work by being understanding that Haranishi didn't give up his day off for a work emergency, but failed. Later, he went with the young man to lunch and learned that he wears a bra because he enjoys the feeling of being held and supported that it gives him. Moe, the daughter, fell ill before Comica, and so Makoto went with Daichi to sell her books on her behalf. Makoto began to understand Moe a little bit more, and observed that passionate people who love something are strong. Meanwhile, Kakeru is still struggling to leave the house, and we learned that he's been struggling around other boys for a long time. We also saw Daichi with his boyfriend, something Makoto is also maybe not fully ready to accept.

I like this juxtaposition at the beginning of this episode where both guys are struggling with presentation. It gives me hope that they'll eventually connect in the future.

Mika and Moe ain't have to eat that man up like that lol

Kakeru is outside!

I'm obsessed with this show. Young gays should go on friend dates with older men more often. I had a blast with this in my 20s.

Daichi wants to be a veterinarian!

About $31 is appropriate for a gift I think if we're not trying to create a sense of debt.

Oh this is so compelling. Daichi wants to buy a gift to make a good impression on his closeted boyfriend's family if he ever gets to meet them.

Ah, I was wondering if Mika also worked. She's been staying home to take care of Kakeru.

Small steps for Kakeru.

What in the You Can't Fall on Love if You Ain't Clumsy is going on?

Now this is excellent. While finding a useful gift for Daichi, we spotted something Kakeru might like.

I love their conversations on this bench. Makoto wants to help Kakeru, and Daichi is able to offer perspective without betraying any of Kakeru's trust. As sad as it is, I'm glad to know that Daichi is choosing kindness in spite of the things he's suffered as well. Makoto remains so easy to understand in this series.

The dog's name is Carlos!!

I get Daichi. There are too many potential enemies. You'll burn yourself out.

Oh ho! We're going to meet Daichi's mom!

Aww, not Carlos ignoring him like Kakeru.

Mmm, he screwed up already.

I see where Daichi gets some of his nature. I like his mom a lot.

Mhmm, this is why I don't pick up strange animals.

I really like the concept of the public bath.

I appreciate what he's doing with this apology, and also glad that Daichi was stern about wanting his private life to be respected.

Look at Makoto figuring something out!

Aww, he stood on the side of traffic for his wife.

He went back for the wallet and said who it was for!

Oof. We're gonna have to force Kakeru back to school next episode.

Another excellent episode. I like how little of Moe we saw this week after focusing on her last week. I'm also enjoying the little bits of the relationship Mika has with Makoto. However he may be, she doesn't appear intimidated by him. Daichi's search for a gift touched me because I also try to be thoughtful despite the things I've been through. I think the moment in the bath was fantastic, because there's something to be said by saying what needs saying with all of the barriers removed.

I really wish more Japanese dramas were more easily accessed, because this is so good.

[podcastenthusiast]

First part of a Astarion/Karlach thing I'm writing. Basically a little rewrite of some Act 3 scenes. Could become something bigger, who knows.

--

"Well, at least you've met my family now," Astarion says. "Pity. You and Violet would get on quite well. Haha."

His tone is light and dismissive, especially for a midnight familial attempted kidnapping. But there's a desperate edge to it, too, like he's worried she might finally see sense and run for the hills.

Karlach's never been accused of being sensible. If Astarion burning his brother in a sunbeam while his sister screamed didn't scare her off, this little evening interruption sure won't.

Karlach does hope she will have a chance to meet his siblings properly, once they're all free.

"I wouldn't've let them take you anywhere," she vows, chest heaving, still very much caught up in protective Mama K mode.

"I know. Deep breaths, darling."

Astarion still looks wary, as if he's expecting the other shoe to drop. She can't cool down, she realizes, not yet, because she's still angry.

Angry at him.

"You lied to them. About the ritual. Like it was easy."

He scoffs. "It was easy. They aren't exactly the brightest candles in the chandelier, you know."

"You're really gonna sacrifice your own brothers and sisters? Betray their trust in you like--like they're nothing." Like Gortash did, she thinks but doesn't say. There are some words you can't take back. She loves this pasty bastard too much to actually believe he'd go through with it, anyway.

"What does it matter? They're just my...colleagues in suffering. Expendable. Pathetic." Oh, Astarion's giving her the old monster routine, one of his thinner disguises. She can see the aelf-loathing clesrly beneath without even really trying. "And let's not forget they are vampire spawn. Hardly innocent."

"Fuck, Astarion, none of us are! You only give a shit about yourself, huh?"

"Why not? No one ever looked out for me. No one ever said a kind thing to me. You're the only one," he insists, getting a bit heated himself now. "Other people don't have a heart like you."

"Damn right, soldier," she replies quietly, tapping a fist against her engine as it ticks and whirs her numbered days away. The rage fades. "Sort of the problem, isn't it."

"I-- shit, Karlach, I didn't mean--"

There he is.

"Hey. It's all right."

It isn't, not really. Nothing is all right anymore. But they will be.

Karlach just can't be the only good thing he sees in this world. It's not fair to either of them. Gods only know how much more time she even has left, besides; Astarion shouldnt be alone, not after everything he's been through. She needs him to be okay without her, selfish as it is.

"Scares me when you talk like that," she admits. "Like other people are just things to you."

"I'm sorry, Karlach," he says, miserably. "I don't know if I can be anything else, here."

Karlach's mother always told her to never go to bed angry. After ten years in the Hells, it felt pointless and silly, but tonight with his siblings' blood staining the floor, she thinks she might understand the wisdom in that advice.

"C'mere, Fangs."

She opens her arms. Always gives him a choice; touch is complicated for both of them in a lot of ways. And, yeah, there's her cuddly Astarion after all. Must be exhausting pretending to something he's not all the time. Thought so since she met him that day by the river. All those masks and yet none seems to fit quite right. She knows the feeling, more or less.

"You're loved, you hear me?" she tells him. "So fucking loved."

His skin is a pleasant balm; hers is still smoldering a little. They don't let go.

"You make things so difficult," he complains softly against her collarbone, affectionate despite the actual words.

"Knew this wasn't gonna be easy. But I swear, tomorrow we'll kick Cazador's ass," she murmurs, holding him tighter. "I've got you."

"Ugh. Get a room, you two," Shadowheart grumbles from her bed.

They have a room, though. This room. The others will simply have to deal with that.

It's gonna be okay.

[otterskin]

Does you actllty like odin because I thought everyone hated him.

...Why would people hate him? I struggle to understand that, even now. I have my theories, which I've spoken off in other places.

I think, and I don't like to say this, because there are certainly takes that aren't, but in general, that opinion is very juvenile. There's a desire to want to 'defend and protect' people from him, which betrays a lack of understanding of the dynamics in the films, and a tendency to side with children over adults, even grown children, and to see older people as symbolic of institutional power, as well as parental power, over them, and therefore a yoke that needs throwing off. There's a childish 'shut up, DAD!' to the criticism. More seriously, the desire to paint him as abusive reminds me of the problem of people confusing conflict for abuse, something that's a major issue in online spaces and real life. Outrage and extremism are rewarded and sought after, so everything is heightened. In that lens, a father who tried to do right by his children but who was in a unique circumstance because of his desire to challenge the status quo and fated enmity of two warrring peoples, a king who can't put the needs of his children over the suffering of his people and risk to his kingdom, now becomes a monster who delights in playing favourites and abusing them for kicks. It's disheartening.

There's precious little sympathy for characters like him, especially in this genre. Superhero fare is pretty black and white, and even characters like Loki rest pretty firmly in the 'good' side of that. But Odin is that rare character who not only doesn't play by that simple dichotomy, he doesn't get to live in a world so neatly divided. It's part of his isolation from the others. So usually, people see the gray and decide he must not be 'good', and if he's not 'good', he must be 'bad'.

The films have little time to explore him or his motivations or how he chooses to navigate his murky situation, and it's all the worse because he's a secretive person who actively disguises his motivations and goals. He's a minor character in screen time, but looms large over the plot and other characters' motivations, so most of what we see of him is what other people tell us he is. Most of which is, of course, untrue. That's the Odin that lives in their heads, and not the actual man, who is the rare character in the MCU you actually have to watch and pay attention to to understand. In universe, no-one bothers to do that - they are content with the version they've created to hate. So the audience thinks that version is also the real one, because it's easier to understand and categorize.

I love Odin, in mythology, and in the MCU. He's a much kinder person in the MCU for sure! But I'm glad that, even in a fairly straightforward world, they gave Odin no clear answers. He remains contradictory and deeply flawed, a thoroughly miserable person but with something compelling him to try and change the destined end of the world. How could I not love someone like that? How could people who say they like Loki not like a character who is so similar?

I get depressed when I encounter Odin haters. I feel like they've completely misunderstood and missed out on a fundamental part of the story, and I worry that if their sentiments infect the actual MCU, it will besmirch the efforts of those who came before and the humane story I fell in love with. Odin was not intended to be a bad parent or a bad person, and I don't think he is. He is intended to be someone that people IN UNIVERSE see as a full villain or as a full hero, but he is neither. He is a person who was faced with difficult choices, and he chose to do some radical things that many others of his kind would never do. He paved the way for a better future and better choices for others by defying the prejudices and traditions of his people, but because he was a trailblazer, he did not have the benefit of learning from others' examples, like Thor and Loki have because of him.

Comparing him to Thanos or other actually abusive parents is repellant. Never once have I seen anyone who claims to hate him actually engage with the character as depicted, nor how they would cut through the Gordian Knot of compromises the character had to contend with. They handwave away the moral questions as 'actually super easy to solve', which is something I abhor in fiction (it's also why I deeply dislike Spider-Man: NWH, which handwaves away the motivations and tragedies of villains from previous series). No, nothing was easy to solve about the choices presented to Odin, and I think the character had both logical and emotional rationale for his choices. He actually made pretty bold and forward-thinking plans, they just all tend to suffer from his fatal flaw - he thinks about them as logical, but they're really motivated by emotion that he keeps at arm's length, which leads to him showing vulnerability and being punished for it.

This is something that goes by so fast in the films, but I loved it because it is such a fundamentally male experience. Odin is someone being crushed under pretty much every expectation of masculinity, from man to warrior to father to husband to king, and whenever he tries to show regret, fallibility or vulnerability, the other characters find it disturbing and swiftly reject him, forcing him back into the performance and the misery that comes with it.

Odin may ponder what is the correct decision, but does not mistake that for what is the most moral decision. He is someone who is both logical and emotional but who hasn't integrated those two halves of himself together very well.

If you hate the character, I'd be happy to talk about it. It is okay to just not like characters! Including gray ones. But for me, I can really think about Odin, and I like that he can't be easily written up for a bland Fandom page that requires everything be spelled out or it 'doesn't count'. He exists in the between spaces of the story, and it is a very sad and lonely tale.

TL;DR : He's a complicated man in a simple story. In the Squid Game of Sugar Cookie, he got the Umbrella. I am sad that such a fundamental character to the foundation of the THOR franchise's quality and themes is so misunderstood and unappreciated by this fandom. I don't think you can love this franchise and not have some care for Odin.

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Francis Drake Main Story

This is a rough translation. I’ll edit this if I find the time. Expect mistakes.

Drake stopped me, and I followed his lead and got into the boat.

Drake: "On your right is a very nice tower."

Mitsuki: "Hehe, that's the Eiffel Tower."

Drake: "That's right, the Eiffel Tower."

Just as he said himself, he hadn't yet memorized all the sights in Paris, so his tour was a bit clumsy. However, I found it enjoyable how carefree he was.

Mitsuki: "What you see over there is the building of the Paris Expo. I went there before with everyone from the mansion."

Drake: "Yeah, they're having a huge festival-like event."

Mitsuki: "It was fun. Let's go together next time. Vincent's studio is also around there."

Mitsuki: "Okay, next. The theater over there often performs Shakespeare's plays. Wait, why does it seem like I'm the one giving the tour?"

Drake: "Haha! You're amazing. I'm learning a lot from you."

He stopped rowing the oar and narrowed his eyes.

Drake: "This city holds a lot of memories for you and the folks at the mansion, huh?"

Mitsuki: "Yup. I was able to get used to and enjoy the lifestyle of the 19th century, thanks to everyone."

Drake: "Do you like this world?"

Mitsuki: "Yes, I do."

When I first time-traveled here, I was bewildered by the differences in time and culture. But now, the people I've met have become dear to me, and this world has become a place I belong to. So much so that I was willing to live here.

(But…)

Drake: "Then why the gloomy face?"

Mitsuki: "Huh?"

I lifted my slightly lowered face and saw him staring intently at me.

Drake: "Don't you realize? You seem to enjoy talking about this city and the people in the mansion, but sometimes you look a little sad."

(I promise not to feel down, and yet...)

He saw through my expression that I didn't even notice myself. He leaned his elbow on his knee and looked up at me, resting his chin on his hand.

Drake: "If you're carrying something, you can let it out here. You've been around here for a while, so it might be hard to talk to everyone at the mansion about it."

Mitsuki: "........"

Prompted by his gaze, I opened my lips.

Mitsuki: "It's true that I love this world."

Mitsuki: "But the more I think that way, the more I feel guilty about it."

Drake: "Guilty?"

Mitsuki: "Because my loved ones are in my world."

Family and friends. I had left everything from my past behind as I stepped through that door.

I really gave it my all to stay positive, but those lingering attachments and regrets kept dragging me down, making it difficult for me to start over.

Mitsuki: "I felt like I was betraying my world by accepting that I couldn't go home."

(Despite being treated well by everyone, I keep looking back repeatedly.)

(I'm so half-hearted.)

I clumsily let all the worries that had accumulated in my chest out into words, and he listened without saying anything.

Mitsuki: "Sorry you have to hear me talk like this."

Drake: "It's fine."

Drake: "You're ridiculously kind."

Mitsuki: "What?"

Drake: "You're worried that you're betraying someone."

Drake: "I've seen plenty of people get angry and sad because they've been betrayed, but you're different."

He said it as if he were in front of something mysterious.

Mitsuki: "I don't want to betray anyone because it would destroy the precious bond we've built."

Drake: "Bonds, huh?"

Drake: "No matter how strong your bonds are, there's always a chance the other person might betray you."

He looked at me and spoke again.

Drake: "I understand that your world is important, but it sounds like it's become a burden for you."

Mitsuki: "It's not a burden at all."

Drake: "You sure? The only things that come out of your mouth are thoughts of betrayal, guilt, and a sense of wrongdoing."

Drake: "You haven't forgotten or discarded that world. You're continuing to carry it while making excuses about being unable to do anything to comfort yourself."

(.......)

The words he said hit me like a knife.

He straightened himself up, and the wind rustled his hair and the feathers on his hat.

Drake: "If it's really important, even if you're apart and even if you can't meet, those feelings won't change and will remain just as strong."

Drake: "You should be proud that you have many important and irreplaceable things."

Drake: "It's your life. No matter how you choose to live, it won't be a betrayal."

(It won't be a betrayal?)

His straightforward words flowed like water into my chest, making all the worries and hesitations disappear.

Drake took off his hat and gently placed it on my head.

Drake: "Well, unlike you, I've always had this burning desire to get back at my enemies."

He playfully patted my head through the hat and smiled.

Drake: "If you're always thinking about those people and sacrificing your desires, you'll miss out on life."

Drake: "Or are there people among those 'important ones' who would call your way of living a betrayal?"

Mitsuki: "No! I'm sure no one would say something like that."

Drake: "Haha! You said it confidently."

Drake: "In that case, you should choose the path you believe in."

Drake: "In my opinion, living in a way that goes against your own wishes is the real betrayal."

Mitsuki: "Drake..."

(Even if I choose my way of life, my feelings toward those important to me won't change. I won't betray them.)

I traced those words in my heart once more, and my heart felt lighter.

(As he says, rather than being trapped in regret and guilt...)

I should cherish what's important and stay true to my feelings.

I reflected on my feelings and placed my hand firmly on my chest.

Drake: "I just had an idea. Why don't we throw some bottled messages in the ocean next time?"

Mitsuki: "A message in a bottle? The one where you put a letter in a bottle and throw it into the ocean?"

The letter was then carried away by the waves, never knowing when or to whom it would be delivered.

Drake: "Yeah, that. If we use it, the letter won't get destroyed."

Drake: "The ocean goes on forever, after all."

Mitsuki: "That's true. Thank you, Drake."

The smile he gave me was kind of glowing.

I squinted my eyes without knowing if it was because of the reflection of the light on the river's surface or because of my own feelings.

(A message in a bottle, huh? That feels like a dream.)

I hoped that one day I could make it come true with him by my side.

(Talking to Drake made me feel lighter, as if something I had been holding in my chest was flowing away.)

"You're continuing to carry it while making excuses about being unable to do anything to comfort yourself."

What he said earlier really stung. But his typical words and aloof smile freed me from the cycle of emotions.

(It's all thanks to him.)

I tried to thank him again but found him staring at the river.

Drake: "But I think it's amazing that you can think about someone or the world you've lived in."

Drake: "I'll probably never understand that in my lifetime."

He spoke in a hushed, mumbling tone, and his eyes had a cold light in them, giving off a chilling sense of vulnerability.

(Drake?)

Drake: "Well, I’m sure you’ll be fine, so you don’t need to worry about it."

Drake: "Real betrayal is much more merciless."

He suddenly wore a dazzling smile, quite different from before, and casually uttered those words.

(Does that mean he has experienced that before?)

Drake: "Even so, you're quite mysterious."

Mitsuki: "Huh? Is there something strange about me? I think I'm pretty normal."

Drake: "That's what's strange about it. You time-traveled, lived with vampires, and got caught up in ridiculous destinies, but you're just an ordinary girl."

Drake: "You worry, you laugh—you're just a normal pretty lady."

Mitsuki: "........."

My heart skipped a beat at his gentle smile.

Drake: "Maybe that's the sort of person who's destined to make a difference."

Mitsuki: "Drake?"

He suddenly leaned forward, his smile vanishing.

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