#but on balance & particularly how it played out in my experience it's a lot better than not building that skill at all

[chthonic-cassandra]

On reflection I have mixed feelings about my childhood involvement in professional performing arts, but there are some very, very important things I got out of it, including the capacity to easily receive critical feedback on my work (whether professional or artistic) without either collapsing in insecurity or responding defensively.

I don't think I realized until reaching adulthood both how important a skill that would be and how rare it is for people to actually be given the opportunity to develop it.

[djarin]

hi i'm sorry to bother you but do you have any tips on giffing dark indoor scenes? yours always look so good!

hi there! not a bother at all :) i can definitely try to explain the steps i usually take under the cut!

this tutorial will assume that you already know the basic steps of gif-making — if you don't, there are lots of great tutorials floating around on this site that can help you out! :)

here's the gif i'll work with to explain my steps, the bottom being the original and the top being the coloured/brightened version.

before we start, a general tip i recommend keeping in mind: if you want to brighten a dark scene, you'll want to get your hands on the highest quality download you can find. 1080p is decent, but if your laptop can handle 2160p 4k hdr files* without sounding like it's about to explode, that'll get you even better results!

(*colouring hdr 4k files requires a different set of steps — the scene will appear washed-out on photoshop, so you need to make sure that you don't end up whitewashing anyone if you do choose to work with this type of file.)

since most of my downloads are 1080p, i'll use this type of file in this tutorial.

the first step of my gifmaking process with 1080p files is almost always the same no matter what scene i'm giffing. i make a brightness/contrast layer and set the blending mode to screen:

now my gif looks like this:

depending on the scene and how washed out it looks after this layer, i'll play around with the opacity. for this gif, i didn't touch the opacity at all. use your best judgement for this, because every scene is different!

i find that dark indoor scenes are usually tinted in yellow or green. one of my first goals is to try to fix the undertone of this scene before focusing on brightening it any further. i go to colour balance for this, and play around with the midtones, shadows, and highlights.

again, every scene is different, so the amount to which you use colour balance will differ, but for this specific scene, my goal was to neutralize the yellow. i focused particularly on the midtones and shadows of the colour balance layer, moving the scales to the opposite of the reds.

doing so will help with neutralizing the yellow. the only reason i moved the scales towards magenta and blue (therefore making it a bit more red than less) rather than green and yellow in shadows was because i wanted a darker contrast in the blacks. moving them to green and yellow made the overall scene more yellow since there were so many dark spots that shadows affected. (you'll see what i mean when you start experimenting with your own gif — this part of the process really just depends on your preferences!)

our gif might not look that much better yet, but it will soon! our best friend channel mixer is gonna help us out. for an in-depth post about how to use this adjustment layer, i recommend checking out this tutorial.

i'm someone who prefers to make more than one layer for the same adjustment layer for a reason i can't even explain (i just find that it helps me stay more organized). so don't think of this process like i can only use this layer once so i MUST fix it NOW. you can create multiple layers of the same adjustment layer, because every layer on top will affect the ones underneath it.

since my priority is getting rid of the yellow tint, i went to the Blue section of the channel mixer and increased it in all of the scales:

this step alone has helped us out so much, because look at our gif now!

not only does the background look less yellow, but so does izzy's skintone.

now i'm going to focus on trying to brighten the scene even more without destroying the quality. the levels layer can actually help out a lot with this.

the amount to which i move each toggle differs per scene, and i think experimenting depending on your gif works best for this layer.

side note: i prefer not to use the ink droppers on the side because the contrast in the result usually ends up feeling too strong for my preferences, but if you find that this works better for you, then go for it! basically, the first dropper with the black ink should be clicked before you select the darkest part of the scene that you can find, and vice versa for the third dropper with the white ink — click it, and then select the brightest part of your scene.

curves is the next layer that does fantastic work! unlike the levels layer, i do actually use the ink droppers for this. it's the same concept, with the first dropper being used on the darkest part of the scene, and the third dropper on the brightest.

try to think of curves as something that not only further brightens your scene, but also helps with the colour neutralizing process.

i grab the first dropper, then click the darkest parts of the gif that i can see. depending on the undertone of the blacks that you're clicking on, the tint of your gif might actually change significantly. this is why i prefer to click once, then undo the action if i don't like what it gives me. izzy's leather jacket was the sweet spot for this gif.

when i'm satisfied, i make another curves layer and use the third dropper to click the bright/white parts of the scene. for this gif in particular, the lights in the background were a good fit because they carried a yellow undertone — this meant that my curves layer actually helped to further neutralize the yellows in the scene as a whole!

(i manually dragged the curves graph upwards for the third dropper to make it brighter. i don't need to do this if the dropper does this for me automatically, but since the lights were pretty bright, it only changed the tone of the scene and didn't increase the brightness — hence the manual step.)

pat yourself on the back, because this is what our gif looks like now!

this is good, but it's not great — there's still just a bit too much yellow in the scene for my liking (sorry, i'm picky! :P)

i created another channel mixer layer and played with the toggles until i was satisfied:

ta-da! the gif as a whole is much less red/yellow now:

this is when i start fixing the colouring now — namely, his skin tone. selective colour will be your best friend here. i wanted to make his face just a tad brighter and less of a yellow-ish magenta shade, so i focused on the reds and yellows.

then, out of habit, i created another selective colour layer and took out more of the "yellow" in the whites to make them whiter, and increased the black (just by +1, since the contrast is pretty good enough already).

note: i switched to "absolute" for these two colours. basically, relative = less vibrant colour manipulation, and absolute = more vibrant/stronger colour manipulation. i prefer to stick to "relative" for fixing skin-tone since "absolute" can be a bit too strong for that.

our gif looks like this now!

his face looks brighter and much less yellow, so i'm satisfied!

this next step is not mandatory at all — again, i'm just picky and despise yellow-tinted scenes. i personally believe that indoor scenes that are yellow/green tinted make them look more dark than they actually are, so i do my best to get rid of these colours.

i also don't always do this, but for this gif, i just simply went to hue/saturation, selected the yellows from the drop-down menu and decreased its saturation.

be careful not to do this too much. depending on the quality of your download, this can significantly decrease your gif quality. i tend to worry less about this when i'm working with 2160p files, but again, those files require an entirely different set of steps when it comes to brightening/colouring.

since this was a 1080p file download (and one that was actually less than 1GB, oops, don't do that), i played it safe and decreased it by -39 only.

note: you also want to be cautious of colour-washing skintone when it comes to this step. i find that another selective colour layer can help perfect the skintone in case the yellow drains out of it too much, but skip the hue/saturation step if it's too difficult to work with — better to be safe than sorry.

anyway, this is the final gif!

that's usually what i do when it comes to colouring dark indoor scenes! i hope this tutorial makes sense, and if you have any further questions, don't hesitate to reach out! :)

[eshoeteric]

🍓 style analysis: nana komatsu / hachi (NANA) 

welcome to the first entry in my style analysis series- where i take a different fictional character for each entry and take a look at their fashion sense, as an exploration on how fashion plays a role in forming a character's personality & overall identity. in other words, it's a deep dive into the intersection of story & style. today we're starting off with nana komatsu (who we'll be affectionately referring to as hachi from here on out) from NANA, my favourite character from my favourite manga of all time.

NANA is a manga very near and dear to my heart. i could spend all day talking about why, but i'd say one of the biggest reasons is for how ai yazawa (the creator of NANA) uses fashion as a means of storytelling. in NANA, clothes are not just a typical character design element, but are instead a visual narrative tool used to convey a characters' personality, as well as to express their traits and feelings. today i've chosen hachi for the style analysis because i'm fascinated by the subtle changes to her style syncing with her character development over the course of the story. also, i think her style is just super cute. so let's get into it! (⚠ anime & manga spoilers ahead)

🍓

overview

if i only had one word to describe hachi's style, i'd say feminine- think frills and lace details. she's all about babydoll silhouettes, pleated skirts, knit cardigans, ballet flats, and generally embodying shoujo fashion from the early 2000s with a good balance of cute and classy. hachi's fashion sensibilities lean more towards the modest side, as her dresses and skirts are usually around midi-length, and mini skirts are often paired with extra layers like tights or leggings underneath. it's a very good girl chic look, which fittingly leans in to her innocent personality. hachi is very stylish and clearly puts a lot of thought into picking her outfits everyday, as she's not afraid to occasionally experiment with different styles every & to use fashion as a key means of expressing herself.

in terms of colour palettes, hachi's wardrobe has a bit of everything- warm hues, earth tones, soft pastels, which all work together to capture the warmth and sweetness of her character. she's definitely more attuned to light colours than dark. this suits her personality better too, as light coloured clothing is said to convey feelings of friendship, fun, compassion, and approachability. fabric-wise, hachi likes to keep it light and airy with materials like chiffon and tulle; switching to warmer fabrics like cashmere and wool for cold weather, giving her outfits a vintage feel.

we can see that hachi pulls fashion inspiration from various aesthetics and fashion trends across different decades. she definitely incorporates her love for vintage fashion in her style, particularly with elements we've seen her wear before like mod dresses, neckerchiefs, pearl necklaces, long fleece trim coats, and brown platform boots. you can also see it in how some of the pieces she wears feels so unique, like a surprise gem you would find in a vintage boutique while thrifting. in dressier looks, hachi's girlish charm and allure is slightly reminiscient of 1960s it girls, like twiggy and sharon tate. she draws from a lot of 60s-inspired elements- the romantic parisienne style, and a bit of vintage preppy chic.

scarves and bandanas are a vintage essential as well as one of hachi's signature accessories. they have tons of versatile styling options, plus the potential to be dressed up or down. we've seen her wearing one scarf (exhibit A) multiple times over the series. the babushka scarf version has to be my favourite, it's very hepburn-esque, who i 100% i could picture hachi having a poster of in her childhood bedroom. i also think that having characters re-wear pieces we've seen before is generally just a cool subtle styling detail, which adds to the realism of NANA's 10/10 worldbuilding. the scarf's many appearances styled in different ways also goes to show how hachi enjoys being creative with her outfits, loves the pieces she owns and wants to get as much use out of them as possible.

hachi's style also incorporates a touch of influence from the kawaii lolita subculture, particularly modern offshoots like larme-kei. lolita is french rococco-inspired with a focus on cuteness, and has its origins in early 2000s harajuku street style- which is also where mori/kogyaru fashion originates from; hachi's go-to style during her high school years (see: her modified school uniform, miniskirts, fuzzy legwarmers). both of these movements were heavily pioneered by j-fashion magazines of the time like FRUITS, Olive, Larme & CUTiE, which were mainly popular with teenage girls and young women, and hachi is no exception. her fashion sense is also heavily inspired by famous japanese celebrities and style icons like risa nakamura.

if we had to really narrow it down, i think hachi's style can be best described by otome (lit: maiden) fashion. known as one of the predecessors of lolita fashion, this style was very popular among young girls in the 70s-80s and is heavily centered around embodying all things traditionally feminine. sweet, cute, girly, and romantic are all common descriptors of the style, which pulls influence from 60s mod fashion (which, as we've seen, has prevalent elements in hachi's style). think tons of layering, pattern mixing, longer hemlines, and mary janes/flats, all of which we frequently see in hachi's outfits. we also see that she takes elements from modern lolita fashion like frills, bows, ribbons, lace, tights & stockings, and incorporates them into her own personal style as more understated outfit details; making it more wearable on a daily basis while still being a tribute to one of her sources of style inspiration.

now that we've explored what makes hachi's personal style unique to her character, let's dig into how her style is influenced in relation to how the story progresses and how her character develops. and just for funsies, i'll also be styling a casual everyday outfit that i could picture hachi wearing for each story arc. let's go!

🍓

i. art school

i'd describe hachi's style here as the most youthful, which makes sense considering she's freshly moved to tokyo to study at an art school. we see her sporting a face-framing pixie cut, which gives her look a bit of edge, but not too much as she still retains her signature soft girl style to balance it out. also, can i just say: super farmer's daughter vibes when paired with a bandana! jeans were having a moment too- during this era, hachi was often seen wearing a pair of bellbottom flares or baggy jeans, creating a casual and easygoing look which really leaned into the artsy college student fashion. this would also mesh well with her then-best friend junko's more bohemian/indie, woodstock-inspired hippie style. the short hair paired with her experimentation on androgynous silhouettes definitely accentuates her gamine facial features, lending to a cute boyish look.

all these style elements are in direct contrast with the hyperfeminine looks of her high school years, back when she'd opt for skirts over jeans and long, styled hair; showing how hachi underwent a pretty drastic style change whilst adapting to the new environment in tokyo. at the same time, it could also hint at hachi's approach to self-expression & using fashion as a coping mechanism to deal with major life changes. dressing more casually to blend in with the college crowd is one of many indicators on how easily influenced hachi can get, which is pretty on-brand behaviour for someone with a tendency to seek validation from others instead of oneself.

so let's get into the first look i've picked out for her: layers on layers on layers baby! for this outfit, i took a lot of inspiration from hachi's first day of class outfit. i tried to be consistent with her theme of 70s-inspired prints and silhouettes during this phase, but also wanted to incorporate a modern y2k touch since we know that younger hachi (before fully developing her unique & personal sense of style) is more of a trend chaser, and what could be more early 2000s than a blouse + dress + jeans combo? accessories-wise, i wanted to pick out unique-looking pieces that had a lot of charm, as i was really going for that 'flea market finds' vibe since she obviously wouldn't have been able to afford any designer yet on a college student budget. also please notice the gorgeous vintage floral print ballet flats- i was so excited when i found it, i thought it screamed hachi!! they look so comfortable to walk in on top of being cute, it's the perfect shoe to slip on for a long day of classes without sacrificing style.

🍓

ii. apartment 707

during this time, we see hachi start to embrace feminine styles again. she lets her hair grow out and we see her back in skirts, dresses, and all things girly, which is why her otome fashion influences shine through most here. she wears tons of pieces in floral and polkadot print, as well as flowy babydoll tops which are very y2k-girl-next-door-reminiscient. we also see her starting to wear vivienne jewelry (the pearl choker, the dainty silver orb earrings), likely as a result of nana's influence (who she heavily admires and looks up to) & wanting to emulate her style. hachi's outfits here seem to have more colour and print, which i believe is reflective of her mental state here; happy, confident, and surrounded by support. good vibes all around, her environment at this time encourages her to take more risks in not just decision-making but also in her fashion choices.

in general, this era is where hachi seems to be getting a better hold on growing into her own personal style. she's still open to trying out different styles every now and then, but we can see there are some style elements that really stick and appear most often in her outfits. she's also seen here experimenting with all kinds of different hairstyles- french braids, pigtails, twin buns, the half-updo. to me, i think all of this signifies how hachi's style development runs parallel to her identity formation and how she grows as a person. at this point of the story, hachi believes she's finally found a place where she fits- within this ragtag but loving cast of unique characters.

so the second look was a little more of a challenge to work with- that's because hachi's style during this era doesn't subscribe to any one specific aesthetic or subculture, but more like a bit of everything, and her outfits can differ a lot between episodes. the goal here was to go for a casual daytime outfit, and i ended up super proud of the colour coordination in this one! i've styled hachi in a frilly vintage floral print chiffon slip dress that's almost reminiscent of the strawberry dress of 2020, but with unique details that give it much more character. i gave hachi a cream-toned vivienne crossbody purse, a scarf to balance out the salmon pink of the dress accents, styled as a neckerchief, some strawberry hair clips to match, and of course i had to include her much-spotted pearl orb necklace too. the highlight of this look are definitely the shoes, which are maison margiela tabi ballet flats- something i could 100% picture hachi wearing if NANA were set in the context of modern day fashion trends.

🍓

iii. motherhood

as time passes, we also see how hachi's fashion sense has slightly evolved into a classier, more refined version. more adult, if you will. this occurs when hachi decides to move out from apartment 707 and starts getting serious with takumi. not only did her living situation change, but as did her lifestyle, and with that, her fashion sense too. her style here simplified and took on a more mature look. she started prioritizing function over form as she cut down on layering and accessorizing. she would also opt for longer, flowier silhouettes and comfortable styles, often wearing simple dresses or aprons over a basic shirt-skirt combo. i really like how the change in style here - which pulls a lot from the 50s-suburbia housewife trope (think frilly aprons, puffy dresses, flared skirts, modest hemlines) - feels like a sublte detail to show how hachi settles into her new role of motherhood, expressed via clothing choices.

as a whole, this period of her life signifies the drastic 180° change from spending carefree days of young adulthood, to taking on the role of mother/wife in a nuclear family unit. it's the most major life change she's ever had to experience at this point, and it's expected that her style evolves alongside this. she's seen wearing noticeably less patterns or colour during this time, which could hint at possibly representing her inner feelings- the bleakness of spending her days in a mostly-empty home, and the isolation of being separated from the friendships she once surrounded herself with daily. thankfully, we do eventually see her return to dressing fashionably again after the timeskip. however, it's extremely important not to gloss over this period of her life as it portrays how she must have felt having most of her agency taken away overnight, with her style being all she had left as a form of control.

so last but not least is the final outfit, which was tough styling as there was comparably less material to go off, but i based it on the few going-out looks we get to see hachi wear post-takumi. rolling with the 50s-inspired looks, i've styled her in a coral short-sleeve button down dress. for the outerwear i picked a long checkered overcoat, which nicely complements the dress in addition to being a going-out staple for classy ladies everywhere. since the outfit is mostly harsher silhouettes, i decided to keep the colour scheme light to balance it out. while i was going for 'stylish mature woman', i still wanted some youthful elements in there to maintain hachi's signature girlish look. i balanced it out by accessorizing with a headband (a prep chic essential) and dior saddle bag, both lime green for a pop of colour and contrast. and of course, i had to incorporate the iconic neckerchief too as it doesn't get any more vintage-looking than this. the final piece to tie it all together are a pair of classic miu miu ballet flats- chic and comfortable!

🍓

final thoughts

all in all, hachi's fashion sense is super girly and sweet, which i'd say directly reflects on her character's personality. hachi is an outgoing girl who wears her heart on her sleeve and has a lot of love to give. she's warm and approachable, which she expresses through her clothing choices by embodying the cheerful, down-to-earth girl next door look. her bubbly style is youthful and fresh, which personality-wise is in character with hachi's innocence and willingness to trust others. this is shown through how much hachi cares deeply about her loved ones & often (unhealthily) prioritizes their feelings over her own. however, this naïveté unfortunately leaves her a lot more vulnerable to others seeking to exploit her emotional attention.

hachi's fashion evolution over the series shows how she uses fashion as a coping tool to help adjust to life changes, capturing her emotional growth and how she matures over the course of the story. the way that hachi's sense of style develops alongside her character is so realistic. her style development tells the story of a girl who finds herself and loses herself over and over again, frequently changing jobs and wardrobes in a constant struggle to find an identity to latch onto- until she does. hachi's style story is one of self-expression & identity formation; a story that speaks to all the young, unsure girls out there who see a bit of themselves in her, trying to figure out their place in a world in a world that often decides for them.

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

Wow, my Baldur's Gate 3 post blew up somewhat... nice. Well, time for more headcanons, of the unapologetically horny variety. (Yes, yes, I know everyone and their mother has done this already, well here's mine. Nyeh.)

Including: Astarion, The Emperor, Gale, Halsin, Jaheira, Karlach, Lae'zel, Raphael, Shadowheart, Wyll, and Zevlor

Tumblr is run by unfun prudes who would like my 30-year-old thoughts to remain Chaste and Pristine™ so filth under the cut until they ban me or whatever

Astarion

So the truly hilarious thing about Astarion is that he claims to be a pillow princess, but is almost always a dom. Like, I find it very funny that he enjoys the Aesthetics™ of being a spoiled brat, too delicate and pampered to lift a finger, but in reality, he's a bit of a work horse who finds having nothing to do dull as rocks.

Not to say that he doesn't enjoy receiving, I fully believe he does, but I think it's mostly relaxing at best and dissociative at worst. We'll assume though he's with a trusted partner for now though, rather than deal with the Hang Ups. I think inevitably he'd eventually roll over and change positions and end up in charge. I think it's an undeniable itch for him, even when he's being treated very well. There's just something so enthralling and exciting about being in control and playing with someone. It gives him a satisfying challenge the way being a pillow princess doesn't.

I think sex is particularly about aesthetics for Astarion as well. Bondage, costume, the art and immersion of it would be appealing. Role play would naturally extend out of this, especially as a safe outlet for some of his more complicated feelings. Succeeding at multiple layers of social interaction and intimacy would be extremely rewarding for him, I think.

He's also a very giving lover. I'm not sure praise would quite do it for him, that's not exactly his build. The submission though... oh yes, that does wonders. And he's very keen to reward that submission with nice things, sweet things, unbearably sweet, more than you can take... that's the kind of torture he's into, whining, begging, pleading, from the too muchness of it all, from how good he's being to you... mmm, yes, that's the stuff. It's soothing to understand you can be in control and not hurt people, to know that the control is not corruptive, not a bad thing in itself. I think it'd do a lot for his confidence and self-image.

Also, very into feeding as a sexual thing. He is a hedonist after all, more pleasure is more pleasure.

(The) Emperor

Hey, haters to the left, please. We believe in free love here and that includes the tentacle-y kind.

Look, okay, the dude comes on... strong. Too strong, to be honest. A little overly possessive, overly needy, but there is a hot, sweet core in there. And with a little patience, time, and reassurance, that can be honed into a respectful balance. If you can be patient and take your time, you can help him understand that he doesn't need to be in your every thought or be constantly touching to still have a deep bond. Do gotta watch those tendencies though.

That said, tentacles are a gift! Strong, dexterous, perfect for holding, squeezing, manipulating, and of course, inserting. It's hard to imagine a more intuitive metaphor for desire than tentacles, constantly grasping as they are. And boy, the Emperor wants. Also potentially has some experience using these, probably has a fair idea of how to make this good for both of you, so a pretty good bonus there.

While the Emperor tends to think he knows best and never enters anything without a plan, I think he'd be willing to take instruction. Your pleasure would be a point of pride so if something could be going better, I think he'd listen. Communication reaffirms trust after all. It's no dishonor to be spoken to or even commanded.

Honestly not sure illithid experience pleasure outside of making you orgasm and just like voyeuring or skimming the pleasure off your brain, so it's probably all about you here. Which also means we're probably not looking at marathon sessions; it'll be just the right amount of attention to a big, satisfying orgasm and then warm, languid rest. But the trick is, you're not going to get any gentle, casual encounters. His focus is unparalleled so it's very hard to back off of 100. That's fun, but can be exhausting, especially if you like a bit of variety.

Gale

Sometimes it's hard to see what Mystra saw in Gale; other times it's blinding. He's the most self-congratulating, infuriating, annoying bastard you know and he's also, somehow, perfect. What the fuck. The basic problem with Gale is that he'll tell you, to your face, that he fucked a goddess and when and where and how and the worst thing of all is he's not lying; he's actually good.

Gale has the enviable qualities of simultaneously being very laid back and very enthusiastic. He's happy with whatever position you suggest and is just thrilled to be invited. Throws himself into whatever's on the table.

Not to say that he doesn't have ideas, god, but he never shuts up about his ideas. And they're all, frustratingly, really good ideas too! "Oh, well I thought since we're in the hot tub, a little ice in my fingertips might be electrifying." "Have you considered the effects of shifting local gravity so you could ride me longer?" "I've taken the liberty of enchanting your dildo so you can feel it when you peg me!" God, don't you just hate him for being right all the time?

And to make matters worse, the stupid prick is full of wondering adoration for you, always trying to give you the best time possible, the best time ever. And he cares So Much he even notices if The Most Sensations Ever isn't the right thing right now and adjusts. He's just as happy to sit and cuddle or read next to each other. Ugh, disgusting. It's like someone made him in the Best Lover Conceivable factory and blew the whole budget on just him! Like, why Mystra gotta ruin the dating scene like that?!

Trouble is, he's obsessively good at doing exactly what you want because he was groomed by a goddess so... 😬 Sometimes you have to remind him he's enough. Sometimes you have to let him know that he isn't as good as what he could do for others, that he was already good, just on his own. Sometimes you gotta take care of him because he won't remember and he won't realize. And he might pout and object, but he deserves a good time too. Not that he wasn't having a good time but... you know what I mean. Let him be the focus.

Gale's very into attention and a slow, sweet time. Work him up painstakingly, bring him to the edge of begging, tell him what a good boy he is. He'll be crying with pleasure. Don't let him rush, rushing is a cheap shortcut and it means he doesn't have to endure being adored just as much as he adores you. It's the only time he'll ever be shy, having to accept love. But this should also, of course, always be paired with letting him reciprocate. One-sided affection or interaction would be torture for the poor boy. He wants so badly to be good, but gotta temper that a bit with reminding him he already is.

Halsin

Oakfather giving Mystra a run for her mother for "ruining the dating scene" with this one. Only The Oakfather went "thicc whores only" and the world cried amen for we were blessed.

What can we say about this polyamorous icon that hasn't already been said? Well, perhaps counter to some above examples, Halsin blessedly doesn't have to be at 110% all the time. Having a soft time is just as good as a rough ride. Although... we all know you're getting more of the latter on average, right?

The nice thing about Halsin is you don't have to worry about him denying himself or doing things just because he thinks you want them; he's a master of balance. He absolutely has his own personal, selfish desires and he knows how to serve them in turn. There's something refreshingly organic about Halsin's attraction, he's into you for perceptible maybe even measurable reasons, you don't have to worry about what's going on in that beautiful head of his so much.

A lot of energy in this one though, gotta be aware of that appetite. But hey, if you're into Halsin, you're probably open to maybe a couple more partners, together or separately. Halsin is certainly down for all of those combos.

Very generous lover, not satisfied until you say so. Down for any length of time, any position, but he strikes me as a man who's not into a lot of frills. Sex is about the physical pleasure, those animalistic instincts, and the kinetic energy between people being used and blended to create something more, something almost beyond us. A lot of artifice and dressing up wouldn't make a lot of sense to him and he's not likely to get much out of it. Don't think he'd yuck your yum, but unlikely to participate himself.

Might even prefer multiple partners at once and the longer the session the better. Short sessions are possible, but he's not going to enjoy it as much unless he can get really into the rhythm of it. Again, it's about balancing the energy, which often involves a bit of warm up and getting into the groove to truly satisfy. If one partner, high energy is best if possible. Come in with some goals in mind or you might get overwhelmed. Wouldn't be surprised if sometimes Halsin doesn't come at all due to his unreal stamina and thresholds.

Can't think of a better teacher to help you try something new though. Patient, kind, thoughtful with feedback from long experience. And he's incredibly appreciative of the unique skills every person has, the things only they bring are always valuable to him, something to be cherished and enjoyed. One of the few people who can be instructive, encouraging, and erotic all at the same time. It's a rare breed.

Jaheira

I'd let Mama Harper boss me around any day. And she is decidedly the boss, she's been giving orders since before I was born and that isn't about to change. Strong dom MILF energy here. And she definitely knows what she wants so those orders are going to be clear and consistent.

I don't think the strap is her preference, but I don't think she'd be opposed. But as another druid, I think she likes to go in bare handed, as it were. And, to be fair, she doesn't need help, I've seen those hands work a lash. She's strong and flexible, whatever you ask for she can give. She seems to have less in the raw energy department than Halsin, but I'll chalk that up to not being chief. I think it would take awhile to wear her down though, can't take her for fast or easy. Just like Halsin, I bet she prefers longer sessions to shorter, but would probably be a bit more flexible on this.

I think her real specialty is probably ropes, any kind of bondage. And she seems keen to teach the uninitiated, to make it not scary and safe. Her argument being the restraint in and of itself heightens the pleasure, why not try it? Not a bad argument.

She also probably enjoys herself most getting a work out in. She can be gentle for you, but her own pleasure is found in conquering, mastering. A test of strength or wills would probably be called for here. Tbh, I can't imagine her being that interested until you can prove you're a match for her in some way. Not terribly interested in coddling.

Karlach

Oh, a goddess among mere mortals. Those tits, that ass! She could break me in half and I would thank her, crying tears of joy. Karlach deserves every happiness on earth. Karlach is maybe the most enthusiastic person here, and that's saying something. The feeling of being close to others, but specifically sex, is such an important love language to Karlach. She has high physical needs and so is very excited and very determined to make you have as good a time as she is having. Unfortunately, sometimes this has a spiraling effect that results in questions like "how many orgasms is too many orgasms?" She just gets carried away, poor thing. But, nonetheless, as addictive as a good time is, you'll probably run out of stamina before she does. Though I bet she'd still keep going past the point of discomfort for herself, just because she's so excited and in love and bursting with joy and energy. It's hard to stop when there's so much you want to say and do and experience. Especially after being restrained so long.

On that topic, bondage probably not a good fit here. Anything that prevents touch for her is not really going to be her thing.

On the flip side, there is no such thing as too much, too hard, too long. I cannot imagine someone more eager to gobble you up, to taste you everywhere, to squeeze you close and shudder and gasp until your sweat smells the same. Like... she is here for this, she is into it. And she'll intuitively go for whatever is going to be more tactile, more of your touch and your body on hers. But also more scent, more excitement. She's going to respond like lightning to any little squeak or shiver to get any reaction out of you. She's so hungry for it.

And she's had a lot of time to think of ideas so you won't run dry on creativity for a good long while. Also important to note, she's only going to be a fast draw in the early days when everything is so urgent. She will slow down in time, though I think she'll end up running faster and hotter than most here. Her appetite is strong, but her stamina is actually on the low side. So more orgasms, but less space between them. Over stimulation is going to be huge here.

Not sure she has the patience for role play or anything fancy. This is not to say she isn't vocal she is... very vocal. Constantly. But that's quite affirming. And I think she'd be pretty into displays, perhaps even a bit of exhibitionism. After all, voyeurism/exhibitionism is all she had for awhile, so I suspect that would carry over into now. I think in particular she'd like to show you off, since she has a keen understanding of the eroticism of visuals. Not everyone's cup of tea of course, and she doesn't have to, but she just gets excited and proud. This makes her feel so good she can't help wanting to shout about it.

All of this said, she's also probably the most attentive in safety and aftercare. Halsin is a safety nut as well, but Karlach absolutely dotes. She wants to make sure she didn't hurt you or wear you out in any way and so will make extra, extra sure any little need is taken care of.

Lae'zel

Lae'zel's pussy could kill a man, in fact, it probably has. Not the most romantic of our choices, at least at first, but vigorous, satisfying, honestly intimidating. But, sex is very accessible with Lae'zel. Sex is part of communion for her, but in a different way than Halsin. It's exercise and contest and entertainment and group cohesion all in one. For these reasons, she's not as intimidating as you'd expect because just you saying yes to her pleases her. If she's invited you, that means she's already judged you worthy. She's not going to be upset when giving pointers because she has no hang ups about how sex is supposed to work. She doesn't expect you to read her mind and would probably be mad if you tried. Clear communication is part of this and you already earned the trust for it.

And on the flip side, she will not be distressed by you stating your desires because she's also not trying to read your mind. She wants you to trust her enough to say what you want. Honestly, she's probably a good starting place for virgins, her openness would be soothing. She might even have the patience to instruct, though she's not a terribly patient woman in general.

Also, not to bury it, Lae'zel just likes sex, the sweat, the scents, the weird, sticky feelings of it, the shivering glow through the body. Sex is fun for her and that's obvious in her vocalizations, both articulated words and not. And she knows that the more times you have sex with the same partner, the easier it gets, the more enjoyable it is. I think she'd like watching that progress, like a good team coming together. It's a sign of trust and affection. And in time, if she comes to trust you a lot, the sex becomes even more intimate and vulnerable, as you start to trust each other experimenting, going by instinct rather than plan. Those little shifts would be thrilling for her as she learns to improvise and accept new ideas. Surprising her would be delightful because she always thinks she has the upper hand. How fun to show her that's not always the case.

Lae'zel is a dom more out of necessity than desire, I think. She's probably a switch, happy with whatever suits; she just ends up doming a lot because no one has earned her subbing/she doesn't trust enough yet. But taking turns would also be valuable team building for her, important everyone trains even the skills they're weak at. Together, we become better at sex and at understanding each other. Weirdly, a very emotionally healthy outlook.

Raphael

I think I feel about Raphael as others feel about Enver Gortash. I want to project every flithy, nasty ass thought onto this wet rag of a man. So, without further ado: humiliation is the name of the game. I think if you fucked Haarlep in front of him, binding him so he couldn't do anything, only watch as Haarlep groans about how much better you are than Raphael, I think he'd come in his over-tailored pants. Cuckold the shit out of him. I think he needs to be stepped on, pegged, and drooling in the street. Never let him have his own way. I think he'd see stars getting pushed around like that. I think it would be great for him. Just use him like a cock sleeve, really dig in there. Absolutely deserved.

Like, imagine if this whole thing is his cringefail attempt to court Zariel. Imagine that level of humiliation. Works on this for thousands of years, only to burn his own house down over a few puny mortals stealing his shit. Oh my goddddd.

If nothing else, it would be Fucking Hilarious.

Shadowheart

So Shadowheart is probably into some hardcore stuff, right? She strikes me as someone with a bit of a home invasion kink. Definitely here for the blindfold/sensory deprivation kink. Restraints, but not just bondage, I'm thinking vinyl suits. Shadowheart's definitely into the unconventional. The more toys and artifice, the better.

It's probably next to impossible for Shadowheart to relax sexually. I don't think it's that she isn't into sex, but it's probably difficult for her to calm down and feel safe being vulnerable, get in touch with soft, gentle things that are just nice. Things that hurt a bit are more comfortable, more familiar, and even have less to do with her personally so she doesn't have to deal with her own feelings and preferences. But, with a bit of patience and a firm hand, you could coax Shadowheart into easing up, allowing herself to be taken care of, and to enjoy just a simple hand job or the too soft touch of lips. She's a bit of a project, but especially if you enjoy a bit of darkness and danger, very rewarding.

And Shadowheart would be big into reciprocation, you can't do something nice for her without her doing the same to you. And she'd take it as a point of pride that she's very good at making people beg for mercy. I think she'd become very giving over time, if you can be patient and teach her how to enjoy herself, in time she will give as much and more back to you.

And to be clear, not suggesting she doesn't also and always enjoy a bit of bondage and sensory deprivation, but I think she'd enjoy it more once she's come to terms with the fact this is not a service she's required to provide, an act which could determine her worth, but just occupations she enjoys for herself, outside of external validation. Teaching Shadowheart to masturbate could be huge. I do worry about her some times. A little self-love lessons might be necessary.

Edging also definitely something to try here. The slower the better. But, it's gotta have that pay off, or she'll start circling back to denial is the end in itself. Which... maybe sometimes, but there's also a lot to be enjoyed in the climax too!

Wyll

Hard to find a sweeter, gentler soul on the road. And a softer touch too. Needless to say, it's a lot of firsts with Wyll. But, he's a quick study and enjoys being tender and lovely. And I'll say it right now, even with this illustrious company, I don't think anyone gives better head than Wyll Ravenguard. Such a soft mouth and singularly focused and determined, he genuinely enjoys it too. It's such an act of service and this boy is all about acts of service. He wouldn't even get distracted by his own pleasure, just entirely focused on what he can give you. Halsin might have greater skill, but that heartfelt desire is unparalleled.

Wyll is made to be commanded, he will do whatever you say in bed. Even if you gave him control, I'm not sure he'd want it and definitely wouldn't know what to do with it. Now, not to say he's a pillow princess, those hips are doing their share of heavy lifting. Just to say that he wants instruction, he wants to follow your lead and let you tell him what to do. Praise would be huge here, tell him what a good boy he is, how well he's doing, he'd go mad.

To prolong the pleasure, a little orgasm denial may be useful, make him work for it. He loves a challenge and a test to prove his worthiness. And, in time, you could get experimental with him as you build his confidence. Maybe a little exhibitionism. Maybe a little bondage, a little role play. As long as the trust and love is there, Wyll's willing to try anything once.

Maybe the most fun thing about Wyll is Wyll actually can keep it down. Some of us just have to scream about it, but Wyll can actually get away with a fair mount because of his cool exterior. And Wyll is available for quickies, an advantage over some others here since he doesn't require a huge amount of energy set aside to have a good time. Wyll responds better to smaller but frequent affection and physical touch than big events spaced out. And Wyll is impulsively romantic, he likes to surprise with fun ideas and sudden invitations, which is a reward unto itself.

Zevlor

And a win for Team Sexualizing Old Men! I remember my roots. It is truly a tragedy that Larian won't let me sex up that old man. Look at him, you know it'd be good. So tender, so thorough. And Zevlor deserves something nice god damn it.

You know he knows what he's about. None of that shy, awkward fumbling you get with the new kids. Heck, he probably knows how to get you off standing against a wall, still in his armor! A true prince among men here. Don't think because no one's asked in awhile his skills have diminished.

Very passable oral skills, surprisingly long stamina, not just in oral too ;). Not the fastest ride you'll ever have and some positions are probably going to be out, battle-scarred knees and such, but for my money, absolutely delightful. Don't have to contend with more power than sense here.

And hey, if you want some Honorable Mentions like Aylin, Enver Gortash, or Dammon, let me know! I'm always down to give sexual headcanons no one wanted! 

[bigskydreaming]

Last reblog - I’ll never forget one of my first interactions when getting into Batfandom again online around 2018 or 2019 or whenever I started being active in Batfandom on this blog.....I was reading a very popular prompt-response fic on Ao3, where one chapter was the author responding to a prompt to do a more cathartic take on Dick reuniting with his brothers post-Spyral.

For whatever reason, this author’s idea of a better version of this still had Dick getting punched by Jason, just then immediately make up with him afterwards, so I guess a speedrun from punch to ‘glad you’re alive’ is better, as long as the important part is Dick still gets punched? LMAO. Yeah, no. I don’t know about the person who gave the initial prompt, but I sure as hell didn’t find anything cathartic about a writer doubling down on the idea that Dick still ‘deserved’ to be greeted with violence because he’d emotionally hurt his brothers and so physical and emotional payback is necessary to balance the scales.

And I didn’t even leave a comment on the fic where it might start something publicly, I VERY politely just private messaged asking them if they’d CONSIDER posting some kind of headsup on that chapter, that it still contained Dick getting punched out on his return from Spyral by one of his siblings....because that’s not something people interested in the specific prompt of ‘cathartic take on Dick reuniting more happily with his brothers post-Spyral’ are likely expecting y’know? 

And look, for as much as Batfandom - ESPECIALLY Jason stans, which I’m pretty sure this particular writer was, primarily a Jason and Tim fan even if they did write fic for the whole Batfam - likes to go on about the tragedy and trauma of physical abuse, there is VERY little consideration in this fandom for the fact that abuse....and in specific, mentalities ABOUT abuse - can be triggering as well! Its not just stuff like sexual assault that can trigger people who are abuse AND/OR rape survivors. So I very politely and civilly, without making insinuations, accusations, attacks, etc, tried to point out that for some fans who’re abuse survivors who are disturbed by how casual and even outright permissive DC canon tends to be about physical abuse between family members, reinforcing the idea that Dick was OWED physical harm by his family to make up for his perceived crimes against them in the Forever Evil/Spyral stuff could legitimately be triggering.....

b/c it feeds into and even validates a lot of the exact same bullshit we were fed by family members justifying their own acts of harm or violence against us ‘because we deserved it.’

And I fucking AGONIZED over this message before sending it, FYI. It was before any of my overly aggressive or antagonistic tumblr posts on these topics, with a lot of my ire in those posts born FROM how all this (and other similar events) played out, but I pored over it before sending it, making sure I was being as diplomatic as possible, because I don’t know this author other than her work, I don’t know her experiences, who she is as a person, nor did I particularly CARE....I wasn’t trying to say or presume ANYTHING about that person, I was strictly interested in just getting some kind of optimal outcome from messaging them, ie getting them to reconsider their viewpoint there or at least include some kind of tag or message clarifying what the author meant by cathartic with that chapter & that it might not be as different from canon as readers might assume or hope.

Because literally my only endgoal in sending that message was so hopefully other abuse survivors didnt stumble into the exact sort of fic they - like I - might be coming to because they were seeking catharsis to MAKE UP FOR the fucked up view canon expressed about how Dick’s first encounter with his brothers post-Forever Evil should play out. 

Instead of just getting more of the same, with FURTHER validation of how he deserved that.

Of course, no matter how much I tried to ensure my message was received in the spirit it was intended....that’s not the outcome I got.

No, instead this author UNLOADED on me in her response, putting me on blast for daring to call her an abuse apologist and being a toxic stan who would make insinuations and attacks and basically call her a bad person just because I didn’t like how she treated my fave. And she definitely shared this and vented about me to all her friends, despite me making a point to message her in private rather than leave this in the comments for everyone to see, because for WEEKS afterwards I was seeing vagueblogs that were very clearly about my message, even including references to specific phrases I’d included in my message, and I heard from others that there were similar jokes and shit made about me in discord servers, etc.

All because I’d dared ask a writer to give people a headsup that they were doubling down on what some fans felt there was reason to view as validating a potentially abusive instance - ie a character accepting physical violence as penance for how he made his brothers feel.

And this, like that last reblog also said in its own examples - is EXACTLY why don’t like don’t read and curating your own content is BULLSHIT. Because it presumes that people KNOW when they’re endorsing or validating or justifying stuff that other people have ABSOLUTELY JUSTIFIED REASONS for viewing as harmful or toxic....and that they tag or warn appropriately.

And it further presumes that when informed that they might even UNINTENTIONALLY be perpetuating harm with a specific viewpoint or depiction of something.....that there is ever any kind of guarantee that they will accept this information or perspective gracefully, instead of perceiving it as an attack on their PERSON and innate goodness or whatever.

No matter HOW someone goes about trying to convey this perspective, either aggressively or with the utmost attempt at civility and diplomacy.

And nine out of ten times this escalates. Again, no matter HOW a person went about asking for a specific tag or to consider a specific viewpoint - which, y’know, when politeness only earns you escalation from people who won’t let shit go because they feel PERSONALLY ATTACKED by you saying hey maybe you’re not actually unproblematic in every view you’ve ever had....MAYBE there’s a reason why after YEARS of trying politeness or civility, people stop bothering with it and just say hey fuck you for this shitty viewpoint or depiction.....

But from my experience, nine out of ten times even a completely conciliatory approach only earns you vitriol and escalation from people who will absolutely go on the attack, grab all their friends, and freaking dogpile even on self-acknowledged survivors just asking you to consider adding some freaking TAGS....

Because some of you would rather throw survivors under the bus WHILE exploiting the hell out of knowing one who agrees with you (despite our experiences not being monolithic, sure is funny how the ones you agree with have in YOUR eyes the universally acceptable stance on stuff)....

Rather than just....

Sit with the idea that maybe you at some point in your life have unintentionally perpetuated a toxic or harmful mindset that you inherited or learned from previous generations, the media, or other people in your life, and didn’t think to question it because you personally had never experienced a reason TO question it before now.

LOL its funny, and I say its funny when its really not but lol you laugh so you dont scream am I right? Iykyk. But its funny how years later even just THINKING about this one fucking message I sent and what it got me in return has my hands shaking so bad its taking me three times longer than it should to write this post. I’ve had to get up and walk around at least twice to get my thoughts in order so I could finish it.

And here’s the part so many smug assholes over the years just willfully refuse to understand. I’m not TRIGGERED thinking about this cuz I’m oh so fragile. And frankly, it’d be fine if I WAS, whatever that happens to mean in your eyes, I’m just clarifying, its not the case here. LMAO. I didn’t survive a childhood of physical, mental, emotional and sexual abuse, I didn’t survive being gaybashed and assaulted in college, I didn’t survive years of shitty experiences as a sex worker, my fucking jaw collapsing because of longterm physical consequences of being attacked.....

By being nearly as fucking fragile as some people on this site like to convince themselves I am when I get worked up about stuff like this.

My hands aren’t shaking because I can’t handle reminders of what I’ve been through or whatever people convince themselves of while telling each other in their discord server that I really should just stay away from content I can’t deal with.

I’m fucking vibrating like I’m Wally West because years after this stupid, should have been nothing message I tried so hard to make informative and personal instead of aggressive and accusatory......

I’m still PISSED.

At how STUPID all of this is. At how HYPOCRITICAL some of you are. At how I’ve made a point practically my entire time in fandom, to be open and forthcoming about my past and traumas because if I’m going to be in fandoms obsessed with male rape survivor characters and abuse I’d rather at least let my perspective be available as a RESOURCE if anyone wants it than just stew in how I feel every time I come across a post or fic I don’t think has the slightest awareness of how its coming across.....

And the sheer volume of times I’ve had people coo at me and ooh and aww about how sorry they are for what I’ve been through like that’s REMOTELY why I talk about these topics or what I’m looking for.....

Only to see those exact same people turn around and mock me behind my back, spread lies about me, attempt to gaslight me at every possible turn into thinking I’M the problem, if I would just quietly and passively accept that people are going to reinforce and validate the very mindsets that led people to do certain shit to me in the past, that some people are interested in GETTING OFF to these mindsets, well then everyone would just be so much happier....

And meanwhile, I’ve made post after post after post about my experiences or perspectives as a male survivor that I can’t even hit double digits on, note wise, even as the stupidest of my shitposts hit triple digits and more....

When the ONLY reason I post about those topics is not because I’m interested in being any kind of authority on male rape, childhood abuse, incest, etc, or think I ever possibly COULD be just because I’m one person these things happened to, but merely because if the conversations about them are going to CONSTANTLY be happening around me whether I want them to or not, I’d at least rather have my voice be INCLUDED and CONSIDERED in those conversations instead of just having to sit there LISTENING to people offer up uninformed opinions with complete certainty they know everything that’s ever been worth THINKING about in terms of that topic and if there’s anything else, well its obviously not important or else their enlightened asses would have already instinctively known it, wouldn’t they.....

My god. Its infuriating.

And hell, I’m KEENLY aware that even with all that, I’d still loaded to the brim with cis white male privilege, so trust me when I say I TRULY do not understand how some of my friends who have to deal with shithead hypocrisy on axes I don’t have any experience on, on a DAILY basis on this site and others, put up with some of you. And its why I will ALWAYS side with them no matter how ‘aggressive’ they’re being in the face of some faux-civil asshat crying fake tears about how they’ve been accused of being a heinous person which of course justifies anything and everything they say and do in response now.

But yeah. The hypocrisy of people. The fake ‘I care so much about survivors that I’m going to make this one a running joke on my blog because he dared make me THINK about the content I churn out every week to entertain myself and my friends, the GALL.’

That’s the shit that gets me. That keeps me from joining servers myself, that has me wary of even DMing with people I only know from their notifications on my posts, because I’ve got zero interest in having a fun headcanon chat session with someone who will two days later be faux-sympathetically vagueblogging with a friend how its so sad how I can’t move past certain things or let them go even though they’re part of the reason I’m constantly re-exposed to stuff even just in the tags people add TO MY OWN POSTS.

All because some people on here are so fucking TERRIFIED of what they might find if they ever tried a little serious self-examination, they’d rather reduce self-professed survivors to tragic victims while being fully prepared to vilify them the SECOND they say something a little too real or paint a picture someone doesn’t want to see themselves in.

Because god forbid some of you figure out how to just say....

”I’m sorry. What you brought up made me insecure and nervous when I thought about how many people I might have unintentionally hurt over the years while thinking I was just having fun with my friends, so I lashed out.”

Or “I didn’t know how to handle not being as thoughtful or informed as I like to think I am, so I made you the enemy instead.”

Or “I didn’t want you to be right so I made sure I believed you were wrong.”

Or “I was immature and not ready to tackle the work this might mean I needed to do on myself, so I pretended I couldn’t see it.”

I mean, after all, the ONLY thing I ever expected or hoped for - or hell, NEEDED - from that one writer I raised as an example, from years ago - was just a simple:

“I’m sorry, I literally just never thought about it that way before but I’ll add a note so people know that’ll be in the fic.”

That’s it. That’s all that was ever needed. I didn’t need or want their life story, their penance, them to fall over themselves making it about me or my trauma just because I brought it up, I didn’t expect them to shift their whole worldview from a single message.

Just a simple acknowledgment that I and my viewpoint were not unreasonable, and hey, maybe they’re not perfect and there’s still more work to be done on some mindsets or viewpoints they’ve always taken for granted.

The end.

(Or at least, it could’ve been).

[outofangband]

Working on some longer xenobiology/speculative biology posts so in the meantime here are some more random thoughts I had about distinctly inhuman elves

These are more jotting down ideas, please please feel free to give me any to elaborate on!

Location edition

1. Tapetum lucidum or, eyes that can glow in the dark. (similar to the eyes of cats and raccoons) This is not limited to the Caliquendi and so is not directly related to Treelight.

Related to this is the potential ability to see infrared or other light spectrums like certain animals. I do like the idea that elven vision in the dark is more complicated than simply being able to see through the dark.

They navigate in unique ways, using the earth, trees, and even rocks to orient themselves. (I’m basing this in part of Legolas’s words about the elves of Hollin where he appears to draw sense memories from flora and stones) This also fits into my ideas for some ways elves are disoriented and controlled within Angband.

Ears that express a wide range of emotions like how eyebrows do with humans. Elven ears will flatten, perk up, twitch, and even fold at times.

. I talked about phosphorescence here which actually has roots in canon!

Being able to navigate on all fours with ease, particularly while climbing and on a similar note, advanced balance.

For some of them, partially webbed feet and possibly even gill like structures on their chests for the sea elves.

On that note I think evolution works obviously differently for elves. Traits adapt and spread at different rates.

Pressure to areas of their body causes them to fall still, like with puppies and kittens. They have very sensitive areas in the backs of their necks and behind their ears. I've talked about this on my states of consciousness and sleep posts!

They do not have fingerprints though the skin on their hands will sometimes absorb and take in the colors of the things they touch, regardless of skin tone though skin tone does effect how clearly these show. For example, if an elven child spends some time playing in grass or clay, they may come back home with the skin up to their forearms that color.

Elves rarely have freckles but those that do will notice that they change colors and shades. Sometimes russet, sometimes even silvery, gold, or blueish. This is also true with birthmarks and even some scars. As they predate the sun their freckles are more similar to spots for camouflage and most words for them translates something to spots or foilage.

Elves can imitate sounds of animals very easily, especially bird and insect songs. While being able to communicate with animals is a rare gift among them, most can speak basic warnings and declarations, such as being able to warn sparrows that there is a hawk around. They can also pick up song very easily, often feeling the rhythm of even very gentle music in their hands.

I have a lot of thoughts on elves and synesthesia. I think most stimuli and input for elves is experienced through multiple senses for example being able to feel sound (obviously humans can to through vibrations but elves are more attuned to this). Synesthesia of the kind humans experience is somewhat more common in elves and other kinds unique to them also exist. (I have a whole post about this here!)

I talked about snow blindness and elves’ unique experiences with winter here!

I headcanon that elves have a specific sense for growth; they can hear and feel for lack of a better phrasing, shoots of grass growing, flowers blooming, roots expanding out. Not all are equally attuned to it or aware of it and some can become extremely overwhelmed by it if their ability to process is affected.

[utilitycaster]

How to actually get people to try TTRPGs other than D&D

I've probably said most of this stuff separately, but here it is all together. This was originally even longer, and way more satirical, but honestly, while it was very funny, I think just a straight shot is what's called for.

The long "in defense of D&D" toll you must pay first as it's crucial to understand why so many efforts fail:

The popularity is a feature.

Yes, there is a reason it has the name recognition it does, and yes, that reason is capitalism; this post explains that far better than I ever could. You do need to go about this assuming that you are not going to personally end capitalism tomorrow, and even if you did, more people would be familiar with D&D than any other TTRPG, and 5e would have a number of materials geared specifically towards new players. Pretending this isn't the case will not help you.

Switching TTRPGs, particularly to anything that vaguely resembles D&D in genre, theme, and character creation, requires obtaining materials, finding a group (possibly even a GM, and those are thin on the ground), and learning a new system. This takes significant time, effort, and possibly money. That's often ignored. More importantly, people will have emotional attachments to the games they like. I've found that often, the "hook" in posts encouraging people to leave D&D is when WoTC does something sketchy. However, as a lot of players and creators in the industry pointed out recently, if someone already owns all the D&D content they need, they can sustain a boycott and have no need to switch; and what's more, when someone is considering other games not to better meet their gameplay needs or to expand their horizons, but because they feel cheated, the last person they want to hear from is a gleefully circling vulture.

So if you're reading this and saying "well then, where's my opportunity? when do I pounce?" the answer is "if you are thinking of introducing people to new games as an opportunity to pounce and poach rather than a warm welcome, I feel incredibly sorry for you, and you will probably alienate more people than you attract."

Anyway, onto the actual mechanical merits of D&D. It is a flexible system. It is not infinitely flexible - it has many limitations - but a lot of other systems are even narrower in scope, not broader. D&D can be rules-heavy, but RP is largely open and, barring charm spells, I control my PC, which I vastly prefer to games that will tell me how my character feels. It accommodates a wide range of play styles, from very loose to very crunchy.

D&D hits on a particular balance of strict, though often streamlined mechanical rules for combat and abilities, and wide-open freedom for character personality and agency, which is very appealing to many. In fact, a common complaint I've seen from D&D players about other systems is that they are rigid and overcomplicated in the areas where they want more freedom and ease, and too loose in the places where they want structure. This doesn't mean those systems are wrong or bad! It does however mean that they are not a natural fit for people who genuinely enjoy D&D as a system.

Also, just to get it out of the way: I (and a lot of D&D players I know):

strongly dislike games that regularly just tell you how your character feels, mechanically

Feel that D&D handles mixed successes in a way that feels rewarding for the player and which moves forth the narrative

Feel that D&D has, in the base PHB form, a manageable (ie, non-overwhelming) number of classes/subclasses and races such that you can start people off simple and then those with experience can explore other resources.

In other words: games with mechanics that regularly tell you what your character's emotions are instead of letting you choose through open RP? Games where nearly every success comes with a serious consequence? The 20+ classes of Pathfinder before you even get into archetypes? Not always a selling point! In fact, often a drawback for people coming from D&D! which brings me to the first real point:

Listen to the person you’re trying to convince before you recommend anything.

This doesn't apply if you're making a "hey! this game is cool!" post in general, provided you're actually focusing on said game's own merits, but if you're trying to interact with an individual or a group, you have to personalize it.

First, think theme. This should be obvious, but I have had people recommend survival horror when I've asked for farcical mystery, so it needs to be said. Many TTRPGs - I'd even argue most, and that includes D&D - have pretty significant genre expectations, and so you should be matching those to the interests of the person you're talking to.

This also goes for tools and mechanics! Having a virtual character sheet or dice rollers (for example) isn't terribly important to me, but some people do want the support of these tools and that should be taken under consideration. Don't tell someone who is primarily playing remotely to try to play Dread; don't tell someone looking for a system that supports character advancement over time to play Honey Heist. Again, seemingly intuitive, but you'd be surprised at how often people ignore the entire content of a request simply to hype their favorite game and in doing so harm that game's perception.

The person you're interacting with is a human with preferences, not a faceless proselytizing target. This is about them. It's not about your favorite game. It's about the game you think could be their favorite game.

A crash course will do wonders.

A crash course isn't as immediately attention-grabbing as saying "this is/isn't just like D&D," but it is actually useful. This is why actual play is such a powerful tool for encouraging people to play games - they can see an example. I'm the kind of person who does read a rulebook cover to cover, but this is still useful, because games can come off as far more intimidating or finicky on paper than they are in play. Understanding common player shortcuts and rules as intended vs. written is pure gold in terms of being convincing.

(For what it's worth: I do think it's important to read the rules once you've gotten the gist from actual play. I'm not a fan of "rules by osmosis." However, I think having crash courses or actual play examples are an important part of making people decide it's worth investing the time and often money involved in obtaining the game and reading the rules in the first place.)

If there's a free quickstart guide, an actual play episode or one-shot, or any kind of succinct but reasonably thorough introduction to the game, start there. Disseminate it. Put the rules in someone's hands and say "if this is interesting to you, join us!" and let them make their decision.

Don't sell a fixer-upper

(This also goes for D&D players talking mechanics - it's a community-wide problem to be sure.)

If you don't know of a game that fits someone's needs? Admit it. Point them towards people who know more about the TTRPG landscape, but my god, do not tell them "well, you can learn another system, and then immediately start hacking it with twenty add-ons and house rules before you have any fluency." It's okay to not know! It's even okay to say "I don't know something that achieves all of X, Y, and Z, but you might like this game, which is really good at X and decent at Y out of the box." Again: change is hard. Change that requires even more effort than usual is harder.

Are you trying to convince people to change, or are you trying to convince them to stop?

Shame is useful when you want people to stop doing something, or do something that doesn't require continued interactions with those yelling at them. It's useful to get people to stop making off-color jokes. It's very bad for getting people to join your community. (It's very good for making people leave your community).

This is especially true with TTRPGs, which do not have to be a zero sum game - we all have finite amounts of time, but people can and do play multiple games. And so again: do you genuinely want people to play your favorite game? Or do you just want to get them to stop playing D&D? Would you be welcoming to someone who runs alternating one shots or mini campaigns in both systems, or is it more important to you that they not play D&D, even if that means they never give your favorite indie creator a dime? And if it's the latter...what does that say about you?

In summary:

My general experience in TTRPG spaces as a D&D player has been, honestly, that many indie players are less interested in getting D&D players to join them than in getting D&D players to stop playing D&D. In my admittedly spiteful case, this means that there are a few TTRPGs I truly will not check out because I've found the online community to be far too unpleasant for it to be worth my time.

I'm well aware those people are not representative of all players. I'm sure there are many lovely players. And, for what it's worth, while I would never do something as invasive or obnoxious as going on other people's posts or worse, into their inbox or DMs to berate them for saying they dislike the game I play, I'm sure there are people who have come across my posts and said, for whatever reason, "I don't want to play with her."

I think D&D does have a certain amount of leeway in that it is the predominant game, for better or for worse, and so it's much easier to find the voices you enjoy and drown out those who don't, whereas there are indie games where one single person has been my sole introduction to it, and they have immediately fucked it up by making that introduction to it in the form of being incredibly obnoxious. Again: it's not fair. I'm not pretending it's fair. But it is the reality.

So it's worth checking to see if aggressive evangelizers in your own community are actively making your favorite game seem more unpalatable. You will do more good by getting them to cut it out than by promising the people they're bothering that not all of you are like that.

If you're interested in hyping up a game, then I'd focus on making posts about why it's good - not why others are bad; capitalizing in a positive way on popular shows branching out into other systems (eg, TAZ's BitD and Monster Hunter campaigns and dips into Urban Shadows; D20's Kids on Brooms or Good Society hacks; the CR and RQG one-shots of your choosing); and providing crash courses and fun, easily navigable paths to playing it.

[callioclops]

A short while ago I was prompted to explain why I didn't particularly enjoy Baldur's Gate 3, and it led me down an interesting rabbit hole of thought about RPG progression. Stepping away as much as I can from my personal preference, I want to take a moment to talk about the pros and cons of what I've started referring to as 'Buffet' or 'Menu' progression systems.

So a quick explanation of what I mean by this, say you're eating out and you go to a restaurant that's hosting a buffet. As long as you have room on your plate, you can take anything you want from the buffet in any combination you want. The things you choose may not compliment each other very well, but it's your choice to make.

Now take another restaurant, this one without a buffet, instead you are given a menu. You have a selection of curated dishes, already picked out for you because the ingredients are believed to compliment each other. You may have some customisation, extra bacon on a burger, a choice of condiment, but there are limits to how much you can do.

I'm going to relate these metaphors back using the two games I've played from Larian Studios: Divinity Original Sin 2, and Baldur's Gate 3. Divinity is very much a buffet system. There are presets in character creation, but these can be completely ignored if you wish. Every skill can be upgraded at every level, there is never a moment where you're locked out of improving your rank in Necromancy or Dual-Wielding, etc. The only limitations on your character building are the limited points you have to allocate.

Baldur's Gate 3 on the other hand is (primarily) a menu progression system. You pick a class, and are given a curated list of things you are allowed to do based on this. You can pick your choice of spells, stances, and some other parts, but the overall strategy stays largely similar for most of these changes, you're just changing the seasoning.

Now I say primarily for BG3 because like most things, this is a spectrum and not a dichotomy. I think that BG3 leans towards a menu system, but it doesn't embody it. That prize I think goes to a lot of early JRPGs, where you don't get any customisation at all, you are just given party members that gain the same stats and learn the same abilities at the same levels on every playthrough.

Acknowledging my biases at this point, I think my wording has made menu progression sound entirely negative, so let's go over some of the benefits: It creates a more streamlined play experience, less fussing over the intricacies of a build allows people to experience the story and gameplay at a much more rapid rate. From experience, I have spent 15 minutes deciding on what to do for a level up in Divinity, which can definitely detract from the pacing if the need to allocate points arises at a crucial story beat. Reduced options also makes the game more approachable and enjoyable for casual players, who may not necessarily have the desire to understand the minutia of the mechanics (To be clear, I'm not using casual in a derogatory sense here, play games how you want to play them I'm not here to gatekeep). Finally, reduced choices in a build path is easier to balance from a game design perspective, and can make the utilisation of these mechanics more interesting in combat. If focus is taken away from what you use, much more emphasis is placed on how you use it, which for some people is much more satisfying when done well.

And with that out of the way, my personal list of pros for why I love buffet progression systems: Firstly, it encourages creativity. This is an obvious one, but I feel it deserves to be elaborated on. In Divinity, while I said you could ignore the presets entirely I don't think that's a good idea. Because the presets are very good starting points for a better, more whole build that you could create yourself. Taking Enchanter as an example, it primarily uses air and water skills to dish out AoE damage and stun opponents out of their turns. You could stay entirely in these two skills, but there are other things that could improve this game plan. Polymorph has access to Spider Legs which you can use to web opponents and stop them from moving, maybe allowing for more enemies to group up. Necromancer can give you access to Vacuum Touch or Vacuum Aura when combined with Aerothurge, letting you shred through magic armour so you can apply your status effects earlier. Divinity in particular I think is very good at leading you down a path without forcing you to stay on the trail, but of course any open ended system would encourage experimentation to find an optimisation.

I think buffet systems also allow for a lot of replayability. BG3 obviously has this for all of the different story paths you can go down, but in terms of mechanics, a more open system tends to give me the feeling of "oh what if I did this" or "I could maybe combine these together" which I just didn't feel at all in my time with BG3. Finally, and most importantly to me, buffet progression rewards knowledge of the systems far more than menu progression does. By understanding the interactions that occur in the game, you're able to put together these incredibly powerful combinations that don't necessarily trivialise the game, but feel like a significant boost from using the preset paths prepared for you. A great example of this is my favourite build I've ever made for Divinity that I nicknamed the Firebomb. Feel free to skip the next paragraph if you don't want a brief rundown of the build.

The essence of this build is that I would use Aero skills such as Teleport and Nether Swap to gather up a lot of enemies in one place, then use skills like Supernova, hitting everyone around me and myself. I was mitigating the damage however as I have points in Necromancer which give you lifesteal, and the talent Living Armour which converts a portion of healing into magic armour regeneration. I could then use Fireball on myself after casting Deflective Barrier. DB is a skill that after being hit with a projectile will launch it back at the source. Since I cast Fireball on myself, it gets deflected back at me, effectively doubling the damage as it triggers twice. Once again, hitting everyone around me. This resulted in a huge amount of fire damage in a single turn, and could often solve a minor fight all on its own. There are more details like the fact that I have to compensate for low physical armour and what I do when those abilities are on cooldown, but I don't want to bore you with the minutia.

So am I saying one method is better than the other? No, not at all. I may prefer buffet, but menu has its merits and its audience. The correct method depends on the game that the developers want to make. I think both of these examples with Larian made excellent choices in regards to the game they built for their respective systems, it just happened that one of them wasn't for me.

[catty-words]

(with the intention of fully kicking a hornets’ nest) -> my thoughts on tslocg s2 because it’s bad take after bad take in the tag:

- the pacing works. sure, the case can be made that the pacing would work better for a 22-episode season (i’m especially wounded by the fact that we couldn’t draw out the battle between the foxy and the catullan for two or three episodes At Least), but i don’t think that negates the fact that the writers are keeping a consistent rhythm. long-term story beats are balanced against one- or two-episode arc moments and, though it’s bracing at times, the show largely pulls off the breakneck energy thanks to its well-written humor.

- a lot of you are making your dissatisfaction weirdly personal with mindy kaling considering she only wrote one episode in the season and, in terms of the show’s co-creators, seems to be the more hands-off partner. i think we could all bring it down a couple notches, but if that’s not on the table, at least direct your ire in the appropriate direction damn

- i don’t think we’ve breezed past the s2e6 cliffhanger as everyone seems to fear we have, i absolutely think the other shoe will fall at some point. what makes me confident? mostly the choice to highlight jorja’s comment that bela hates herself when bela finds out about her ‘cancellation’ in conjunction with bela’s reaction to eric’s “you spend all your time trying to get people to like you, but then when someone like me actually does, i’m not enough. you immediately focus on winning over someone else”. the show seems to be delicately threading this needle of exploring the emotional ramifications of all the impulsive sex bela’s had without going too far and condemning the fact that she wanted those experiences in the first place. and that’s a long-term story i’m happy to be patient for to see it done right and done thoughtfully. because, i mean, in a lot of ways, it’s a storyline that embodies the thesis of the show. young women have a complex relationship with their own sexuality and get the best chance to define what it means to them under the newfound independence college life affords.

- kimberly/canaan compels me, the actors definitely have a sweet, off-beat chemistry. back to what i said, re: pacing, though, i don’t expect us to dwell on the storyline for more than three to five episodes into the next season. they might leave the possibility for a reprise like i suspect they’re doing with eric/bela but, if they get together at all, kimberly/canaan will be dissolved pretty quickly i think - particularly because i don’t see kimberly dealing with the way wanting canaan muddled her judgement and made her turn on a dear friend.

- speaking of whitney, i loved her journey with biochem it’s, like, a really cute look for her

- and speaking of her place in the love triangle, i definitely dig the wistfulness that comes with canaan being the collateral damage in whitney’s flailing sense of self this season, but her pivot back to her feelings for him at the end has such a whiff of ‘put in my self-discovery hours, that means i get to collect my canaan-shaped prize now’. which is not a judgement on whitney - i completely empathize with her wanting a do-over now that she’s a more evolved and self-assured person - but i do think canaan’s characterization is such that he’s not going to want to be involved with her romantically a second time. so whitney’s place in the triangle will likely be reckoning with and then accepting the boundaries he sets regardless of how things play out between her and kimberly.

- every scene in the common room of the dorm or the dining hall where the girlies take turns presenting their emotional conundrum to the group for a greek chorus of feedback in return made my heart swell and as long as this relationship is the one the show cares most about, i stay winning

- tatum being presented as leighton literally dating herself now that she’s authentically herself for the first time ending in leighton dumping her own ass then immediately embracing the self she’d started cultivating at the women’s center but couldn’t fully explore for being in the closet at the time even when it’s uncomfortable and she’d normally cow to her impulse to conform was galaxy-brained shit sorry if you’re mourning the loss of the carbon-copy white lesbian guess i’m built different

- anyway so so excited for the women’s center to once again be one of our regular on-campus hangs, so so excited to see leighton continue to blossom there

- lila was perfect literally every scene she was in but if i was going to complain about one thing it’d be that she ended up kissing whitney and not bela despite their insane chemistry. hello???

[lairn]

New Movies I saw in 2023

Return to Seoul: 7/10. Actually came out in 2022 but played locally in 2023. A depressing, fairly well constructed film. It was a little flat, but I feel like the protagonist’s pain makes her experience life in a flattened way.

Renfield: 7/10. It’s more of a 6 but fun enough and personally appealing enough that I forgive its many flaws. Nicolas Cage puts his whole pussy into it as usual. I rewatched it on a plane and still enjoyed it.

Beau Is Afraid: 8.5/10. Really, really good for 3 quarters of the film but fumbles the bag towards the end. I still sat through the credits because it was riding on a lot of well-earned grace. Uncomfortable and funny.

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse: 8/10. Animation looks even better than the first one. I didn’t know it was part 1 of 2 and was frequently distracted by the pacing, wondering how they were going to tell a whole story. Will pass full judgement when part 2 comes out.

Barbie: 7/10. Amusing and I liked the set design a lot. If I hadn’t been with friends who were trying to make it fun it would have been more of a 6.5.

Oppenheimer: 7/10. Tough to rate this one. I thought it was more of an 8 at first, but on a second viewing (where I wasn’t distracted by a terrible need to pee) the pacing problems were more glaring. Had some really powerful scenes and a good soundtrack. The sound design was not well balanced.

Killers of the Flower Moon: 7.5/10. Well made and a fantastic final scene. However it suffered a lot from taking the perspective of the killers. An Osage pov could have made it a lot better.

Saltburn: 7/10. I like this one a lot because it appeals to my personal tastes but there were a few small weak things and one major narrative flaw towards the end. Great costume design and soundtrack. Enjoyed the performance of the main actor.

Maestro: 5.5/10. Tried for too big a scope and the threads got lost. This is petty, but it particularly bothered me that it saved the title card for the end of the film and put it over Felicia’s face. Maybe it was trying to say Bernstein’s title as maestro overshadowed his wife’s life but that’s not what the rest of the movie said.

The Holdovers: 9/10. I really enjoyed this one. You can sense the direction the story is going but it doesn’t detract from the execution. Witty dialogue, but in a way that seems grounded for the characters and fits their environment. Made me laugh several times. Cried a bit too, but I’m soft.

Poor Things: 8/10. Lush and weird world with opulent set and costume design. Explores themes around personhood and being a woman in interesting ways. Feels slow - it’s 2.5 hours and you can tell. Sat through the credits which is always a good sign to me.

Godzilla Minus One: 8/10. I like the way it built on the original movie and wasn’t a shot-for-shot remake. At times I felt less invested but there were some very good scenes. I especially liked when they tried to fight Godzilla at sea the first time. More on the nose in its commentary about war than the original, which felt appropriate. Great timing on using the traditional theme music.

[seraphim-soulmate]

ok, so I have this problem. I dissociate. A lot. It causes me to loose my balance, and I also have knee pain, occasional back pain, and mild hip pain. I do not use a walking aid. I’m 13, which, in my opinion is too young, but there are days where I go rlly slow. How do I explain 2 people that I’m not doing it on purpose, it’s cause it hurts. Also, how do you go about navigating crowds on bad days?

First of all, I am so sorry that you're going through this! This is a really difficult situation that you're in and I'm sorry that people around you are not seeing and understanding that. Secondly, my direct messages are open and it might be easier for me to better answer your questions if we can have a conversation about it, and/or if you have other questions, you're welcome to reach out there! As a disclaimer, I'm not a doctor so I can only share from my experience and my perspective. My lengthy answer is under the read more !

The part you asked for:

Communicating lived experiences, like how your chronic pain and balance issues impact you, is particularly difficult since others aren't experiencing what you do, so they have a hard time understanding what it's like to have that level of pain and can often assume you must be exaggerating. Comparing your pain to pain they're familiar with helps them understand (ex. "it feels like when you bump your knee really hard, but my pain doesn't go away after a couple minutes"). The approach you'll take depends on a lot of factors, like their ages, your relationships with them and how open they are to trying to understand what you're experiencing. Unfortunately, some people won't even try to understand, sometimes you have to let those people out of your life if they're not willing to try, but sometimes people (in particular parents) are actually scared of confronting the situation because of what it means for you+your future; you can continue reminding those people that you are still in pain and need help/accommodations if they don't acknowledge it at first. You can share resources/info about chronic pain with them, and/or tell them your pain level at certain times with a numerical pain scale.

There's a loose formula I use for general communication that is based on DBT therapy which is: "I experience this, this is how it impacts me, this is how it impacts our relationship, this is what you can do to help me and help our relationship". Coming up with a solution yourself for the situation helps set clearer expectations and what the other person can expect from you rather than putting it on them to find a solution.

How I typically explain it is, "I have chronic pain and other health issues that impact how quickly I'm able to do things. I often experience uncontrollable moments of pain that appear unexpectedly. Concretely, that means it takes me more time to do the same things that you do. I do my best to make preparations in advance to manage my symptoms, but they sometimes appear unexpectedly and I cannot control them. It would really help me if you could let me know (X time/days in advance) if there's something I need to be ready for at a specific time, that will give me a better chance to be there/ready on time". I personally timed how long it takes me to do the activities I need to do to get ready, so I know that if it's a bad pain day, I'll need to add another 30 minutes to an hour to accommodate that.

On bad days, I avoid crowds. But I understand that you probably aren't able to do that; you can maybe suggest going at an earlier time when things are less busy though? The quick version is: I bring sunglasses (even for indoors), headphones/earbuds (I have the Skullcandy Sesh Evo, they're noise-cancelling - I leave one halfway out in case I need to hear something & play lofi music), a medical face mask (it feels reassuring/protecting) and a water bottle. If you're grocery shopping and get overwhelmed, you can communicate that and say you're going to go wait outside. If you're at an event, you can excuse yourself to the bathroom for some distance. You're going to have to accommodate yourself in ways that may seem socially weird to others, but your health and comfort is more important than those social rules.

For the long explanation:

I prepare before I even get into that situation. So for prep, I make sure I eat a proper meal. I take a 1h30 nap that allows me to reset my body and sensory experiences. I do a guided deep breathing exercise (1-2 minutes following a YouTube video is enough) and my stretches to help with pain. I take my pain medication early enough for it to take effect before leaving. I make sure I'm wearing sensory friendly clothes.

I carry with me at all times a Ziploc bag of "essentials" that contains stuff like lip balm, lotion, ear plugs (for when I need to fully tune out what's around me), mints/gum (helps anxiety/nausea) & additional pain meds. I put my essentials pack into my backpack and in my backpack I have a snack (like a granola bar) and a large water bottle. You can also put the sunglasses+earbuds/headphones in when not in use. Yeah it kinda sucks to carry a backpack, but I find the weight/presence of it grounding and my anxiety is reassured knowing I have everything I need on my person. You can use any type of bag for this btw. Having a cane forces people to give me space and makes them generally more understanding of my whole situation when I'm wearing sunglasses indoors; a mask can sometimes have a similar affect depending on where you live. If you're standing in line or a place that isn't moving much, you can actually ask people if they can take a couple steps back to give you more space.

Additional input:

My dissociation is brought on by my pain rather than the opposite. So I'll experience a higher level of pain, and in order for my brain/body to be able to cope with that, I dissociate (it's an involuntary response but I can recognize a lot of my triggers). My therapist very gently explained to me that while dissociating is annoying, it does serve a purpose and you don't always need to try to forcibly ground yourself. It's a maladaptive coping tool, but it's what you have available right now and sometimes using more helpful coping tools can only happen when you have more control in your life. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try learning them now, but it's important to not get mad at yourself for having that response.

I'm not very familiar with having balance issues due to pain or dissociating. What I assume is happening is that your dissociation is causing a warped perception, which is causing you to have balance issues. It may also be a different underlying cause (vertigo, inner ear infection, blood sugar fluctuations, iron deficiency, just to name a few). It's really hard to unravel all of these things to see what's connected and what might be a different issue all-together. This is where I mention you should go to a doctor if you haven't already, my heart goes out to you if that's not an option for you at the moment but I can reassure you that you will be able to get medical help eventually.

Lastly, there is no age too young to encounter disability. For example, it's hypothesized that fibromyalgia can be triggered by traumatic events, which can occur at any age. But to clarify, it is definitely not the norm for a thirteen year old to be experiencing these issues! I had to do a lot of research by myself and present that to doctors for them to know how serious I was about my difficulties. When/if you can, I'd recommend booking multiple appointments in one day to save time considering wait lists. Having all your test results, x-rays and other medical info already done and readily available helps to cut down the wait time for a diagnosis by a lot. For me, a diagnosis allowed me to accept myself and my situation better, and let me allow myself to use the accommodations that were necessary. Wishing you the best & thank you for reaching out!

[lochrannn]

Hi thanks so much for answering my first ask!

I just had one other question-how do you write your characters in your fanfics? Like, I constantly struggle with writing Klaus and Lila in character, and just in general how the siblings would react to different situations. Is there a way to fix this? (is it just rewatching the show until i get sick of it lol).

TLDR it's hard to write some of the siblings in character and especially Lila. In your fic writing experience, how do I fix/get better at this?

I have honestly never thought about it, so what I'm going to say now is an attempt at explaining what I presume is subconsciously going on.

(I don't write anything other than fanfic, and haven't really written for anything other than TUA in more than a decade).

So, I think there's basically three mechanisms at play and one basic fact that I think just might help more than any other: I was born eleven months before the wonder babies, so when the show came out, I was almost exactly the same age as the character. I'm going to assume that helped a lot with me being able to relate to them, and also it was one of the reasons I loved the show from the get go. Messy millennial failures? Yes please.

So yeah, what I think I do in trying to write in character:

A) Close observation. I don't think you need to watch the show till you get sick of it, but maybe rewatch some pivotal scenes that you think are both typical for the character and that give you a lot to work with to see how they react to other people. How do they react to provocation, are they the type to do some provoking themselves, do they seem confident, are they insecure? Are they sharp in conversation, insightful, or rather clueless?

B) ask yourself is there a part of you that you feel is similar to the character whose perspective you want to write from and tap into that. I write a lot of Diego and Lila and I tap into the person I am in the shower when I'm reliving an argument and can manage all the snappy and almost aloof answers I wish I had had in the moment to put myself in Lila's shoes. I write Diego from the way I actually am in arguments; I won't back down but I will say some really dumb shit to try and keep my end of the discussion up.

C) I think I have maybe two or three adjectives I could pull out of a hat that I think describe the characters and not much more than that. Maybe two obvious ones and one less obvious one that I think might inform some of the subtext. But I also don't overthink it or have long character studies. People might think of themselves as having this consistent personality but I think that's as much a story we tell ourselves as anything else and so it is totally fine for characters to do stuff out of character as long as you can see a world where they would justify it as something normal for them. And then it's something that can drive the story.

Right, I can't promise you any of this is really helpful, because I'm not sure to what extent I really do this. Though life is currently making it hard to for me to just sit down and fuck around with a fic (not least because I've already written quite a lot and then the things I want to say that want out have become fewer over the past year), I always found it easy to have a general plot idea and then just fill in the gaps with some balance of action and character stuff. I didn't particularly plan ahead, just wrote what I thought I would like to read and wished someone else had written.

Oh, also, a lot of what makes up a character can be included both in their own pov narration or in someone else's when they think about them. (I obviously don't know ow how you are planning to go about it but I always found it useful to switch pov from section to section to give a broader look at a situation, especially if you don't have like one character that the story is focused on.

So yeah, what version of the characters would you like to see presented on a fic? Write that!

[inventors-fair]

Counters Intuitive Commentary

Hey everyone! Here’s the commentary for my last contest. I tried to keep it shorter and snappier so I could get it done more quickly and on occasion I succeeded. Ready?

EDIT: I accidentally posted this halfway through finishing it, if you saw it in that form i apologize

Paldor, Consortium Motivator by @wolkemesser​

Interesting card. There’s a lot of people wanting a jund -1/-1 counter commander, and this does that while also offering the possibility of jund superfriends. I dunno how Jund that -1/-1 counter ability is though (specifically, the being able to tap your opponents’ stuff down part) and I feel like the second might want a mana cost to balance it out a little. It goes infinite with anything that can untap creatures on a +, and it makes the -1/-1 counter ability likely to be used more, since I feel like the loyalty one is significantly stronger.

Tidemaster Mage by @railway-covidae

Absolutely love the effect here, just not sure about the keywords. I’m not sure this really needs ward since sleeping all your opponents’ stuff on ETB is already quite strong; I think making it easier to interact with the potentially big creature they’re facing down is a good idea, and you already got value from the ETB. Islandwalk also has its known swinginess problems, and this doesn’t seem like a great card for it anyway. You want to be playing this against creature heavy decks which blue decks, generally, are not.

Myr Blistersphere by @bread-into-toast​

This seems to be fighting with itself in a way I’m not sure I love. The mix between the cost reduction and the “+1/+1 counter for each mana spent to cast it” just seems like it’s gonna lead to a lot of feel-bad moments.

Monster of the Deep by @yourlordofnothing1​

Not sure why this is hybrid and not monoblue, it doesn’t seem particularly black. I am enamored by “adapt ability” though, and by new kinds of keyword counters. Maybe this wants a different trigger for the tap+stun ability than blocking/being blocked, or maybe it wants a different keyword, cause these kind of fight against eachother. If you’re using the islandwalk, you don’t get to use the first ability.

Trokair Shield-Bearer by @stareyedesper​

Solid common. You can use it immediately if you want to protect something, or suspend it and not know what you might have out, but minimum it can put the counter on itself.

Slorpux, Necrogen Hunger by @hypexion​

Big fan of a toxic ability that’s increasing over time, and experience counters are a good way to do it for commander. The ability that lets you get experience counters could be more interesting and a bit more buildaroundy, but maybe it’s fine that it’s not so you can focus on the poison.

Remembered Lore by @ghostly-blackbird​

This would require an extremely specific set to be in, and I would love to see that set. I’m genuinely not too sure what to make of this. I worry it might get too repetitive though, reusing the same sagas over and over and getting cards back from the yard over and over. It also definitely runs into the dice problem; you could maybe use differently colored dice? But it could easily get confusing. And it has a strong chance of doing nothing, it doesn’t do much at all on its own.

Frostkin Abjurer by @greensunzenith​

This is probably better as protection than removal, but there are times where you’d be willing to put a shield counter on your opponent’s thing to stop it from untapping. It if you’re wanting to put a shield counter on a creature it’s cause you want that creature around (likely for attacking and blocking) so the stun counter is kind of anti-that. The flash does help, but it means the shield counters aren’t all that different from indestructible until end of turn.

Tyvar of Steel and Stone by @nine-effing-hells​

I like how you represent Tyvar’s in-lore abilities in a way that haven’t really much been represented in his two cards so far. I’m not sure this needs the black but it’s probably fine that it has it. This is a pretty specific card for a specific kind of deck, but it seems really fun for that deck so I’m down.

Zonot Slimecaster by @demimonde-semigoddess

My only note is that I think the cost to activate the ability should be a little more. Either GU or 2U. Seems cheap for what it does, especially if there are good ways to put counters on it in the environment besides evolve. Otherwise, sweet and simple.

The Emperor Everleaving by @yd12k​

Flavorfully, I love it. Vanishing is a great fit for her. Mechanically, I’m less sure. Having two sets of counters on one card, both of which are likely tracked using dice, and either of which running out means she dies, is asking for confusion. Also if you alternate between the +1 and the -1, you can keep her around as repeatable removal, which seems like a lot for 2 mana even as limited as that removal is. I also don’t love that she can’t naturally reach her ultimate. I do think the implications you’re going for with the ultimate, of the spirits with vanishing that different cards put a different number of counters on, is really cool.

Spore-Maw Colony by @yourrightfulking​

Solid way to mix +1/+1 and -1/-1 counters. I like how the second ability encourages you to spread counters around and the graft lets you do that, but you have to put in the work and play a couple of creatures to do it.

Akki Recycler by @helloijustreadyourpost​

Good card for a modified deck. A bit unusual in red but definitely something I could have seen in neon dynasty. Putting the mana gate in the trigger was a good choice.

Forlorn Revenant by @bergdg​

This is a really sweet design, but the costs seem backwards. The front of this is not worth 5 mana, maybe 3, but putting a -1/-1 counter on your opponents stuff each turn then getting a probably decent-sized creature out of it afterwards is worth more than three. Probably 4.

Staff of Restoration by @dimestoretajic​

Art direction: a staff in the center of the shot, clearly reminiscent of the previous Mirrodin staves, glowing with eerie light, shoving away black ichor at the bottom as if it was repelling ferrous liquid with a magnet

I’m not a fan of removing poison counters, personally. It’s just not really something I think should be a part of the game, but the design kind of falls apart without that given the flavor, so it’s hard to give any more notes beyond that. I do think it should be colorless though- I’m not sure why it’s 4 color, and I feel like an answer to poison like this you wouldn’t want to limit to such a specific deck.

Agricultural Planning by @snugz​

This just seems really weak, to be honest. I like the idea of land type counters (though if this is a set mechanic which it seems like is the intention, I’d just use the name of the land) but this should cantrip or something. Two mana is so much for it. Frankly, one mana is a lot for it.

Phyrexian Oilstone by @piccadilly-blue​

If one ability puts loyalty counters on planeswalkers with compleated and one puts them on planeswalkers without compleated… can’t that just be “remove an oil counter from ~: Put a loyalty counter on target planeswalker.” This also just seems, weak and kinda boring. It’s 4 mana just to put two loyalty counters on a planeswalker.

Kinderkatch Patrol by @1001gecs​

Note: Couldn't add image description, but flavor is a long spindly faerie flying around and kidnapping children. As the faerie catches more and more children, it's weighed down, barely able to fly. In the card, we can see the faerie struggling under the weight of its cage.

I’ve gotta say, the art description really sold me on the card, so great work. I’m not sure I would have put together what the -1/-1 counters represent. This is really cool flavorfully. Out of curiosity, why’d you do base power? If you didn’t want this to hit itself, it would have been probably better to just make it “Whenever another creature card yada yada”. (Though also, I kind of love the narrative created if it *can* hit itself, where it ends up trapped in its own cage)

Wandering Armory by @reaperfromtheabyss​

Very good call on the sorcery speed clause. My biggest worry here is how good this creature is just as a creature, even ignoring the ability to move counters around. A 5 mana 2/5 with flying, first strike, lifelink, and vigilance is *a lot*. And that might even discourage you from moving the counters around, since it works so well on its own.

Lesson of Fangs by @real-aspen-hours​

Very solid common. This could do a lot of great work- perhaps too much? Permanently granting lifelink isn’t done very much at common, cause if you put it on a big creature that could really make limited games go long. (You’ll also notice that lifelink is extremely rarely seen on big creatures at common for the same reason).

Cryovolver by @horsecrash​

This is *really* cool. The volvers are a great candidate for this contest that not everyone might think of, since they don’t technically qualify but if they were made today they’d absolutely use keyword counters as you correctly assessed. I also really like the idea of a snow volver. Is this card just more of a one-off, in some snow commander deck? Is it a five card ally-colored cycle that all have the same snow ability? I’m intrigued by the possibilities.

[archer3-13]

Someone was dumb enough kind enough to get me pokemon violet this christmas so i guess i am gonna be playin it and gettin the 'inside scoop' on the pokemon companys latest game. For clarifications sake the last pokemon game i really bothered to sit down and complete was oras and thats only because oras was a remake of gen3. otherwise the last mainline one ive gone out of the way for is xy.

thoughts!

i appreciate the effort to cinematography, it helps breath a bit more life into the affair then there might otherwise have been

on the other hand the game runs like ass, which you could arguably say is a good indication of the ambition the pokemon companys going for this time... but i would argue back that its just the game being poorly optimized cause overall well its all rather ambitious i havent seen anything that feels too far outside the switches capabilities so far.

nemonas a treat, shes got that slight edge of barrys insanity but its a bit more balanced with calmer moments so that she doesnt feel quite as overwhelming as barry could

is catching easier in this game? cause it feels real easy so far to catch in this game, practically nabbed the whole lot of pokemon in the 'tutorial area' before hitting the school

i appreciate the game introducing terrestalizing the way it does, having nemona use it against you before letting you enjoy it. it helps demonstrate how well its quite the powerful new gimmick to use, its not invincible and can be beaten if ya play it smart

that said the ai for battles is feeling particularly rock stupid this time around. hopefully that'll change when things go on, but if nemonas response to having her pokemon wake up on red health with already 3 workups behind it, is to go for another workup as ralts erases it from existence immediately afterwards... im not confident itll get much better from there.

neither penny or backpack boy leave much of an impression so far. cant even remember backpack boys name.

it definitely feels like theres some form of response to criticisms of pokemons previous outings going on here, how a lot of the gens after xy were seeming to get increasingly hand holdy to the point of gen8 having the player around as a side piece to its actual plot. here the reins are taken off pretty heavily even just in the tutorial section and they really wanna emphasize how its 'your choice' on what ya do.

that said, the fact that theres 8 gym challenges but only 5 star bases and 5 titan pokemon makes me irrationally angry cause they arent all 8 apiece. hopefully they still all feel substantial enough that it doesnt become an actual problem...

the tutorial section as it were both lasts too long, yet feel too short in my opinion. cause mechanically you can get all the stuff the game teaches ya here out in a much shorter timeframe/area. but on the other it doesnt feel quite as immersive as i think they were going for to draw me in?

i like that even in the school setting child endangerment is just the accepted status quo of things. turns out even if red and blue were in school they'd still have a better then 0 chance of being killed by super powered monsters.

idk, maybe its the abysmal expectations i had going in but im digging this more then i thought i would. if the game ran more consistently and didn't... glitch out in a lot of places i'd probably be even more hooked into the experience.

they shoulda given you a cylcazar as a 'ride slave' instead of the box legendary to start with, especially if were just gonna keep the legendary out of battle 'till yer tough enough' regardless. that way you could have the legendary as a reward for say, completing the titans quest.

[seriousotherkin]

I have an adult child that identifies as a fox. She has fallen into a deep depression and has a difficult time functioning at all because she does not like the feeling of her human body or using her hands. Her only relief presently is using THC to get out of her head. She has a therapist who is legitimately trying to help but is feeling out of their depth. I am hoping you might have some advice or direction that might help her find a balance. She feels little hope for continuing her life.

Sorry for the late answer. It's difficult to give a Good answer, and in all these things your mileage may vary. Sometimes people try very hard to encourage loving your body, but this is frequently far beyond reach for a LOT of people. Otherkin that are trying to make sense of their existence, trans people who don't have access to appropriate healthcare, disabled people dealing with chronic pain, fatigue, and difficult limitations. (And before anyone gets angry, I'm speaking from experience on all these fronts. I am transgender, disabled, and otherkin.) The human body can feel like a torturous meat prison from time to time, and it's very difficult to enjoy it when it does that. But... if we enjoy anything at all... we can attempt to remind ourselves that the body is the interface, the equipment, the tool with which we can access that which we enjoy. Even when we wish we had a different body we don't know how the changed neurology would change our sense of taste and hearing so we might find our favorite foods too bitter and our favorite music too discordant. Everything we enjoy in our lives we are only able to enjoy because we live, now, in the bodies that we have. From our favorite bands to the feel of the sun warming our back. From the phone game we're playing with to the scent of freshly brewed coffee. From the physical sensation of getting into a clean bed with clean sheets after a shower to hearing a friend laugh at a silly joke you've made. Every good thing we feel and experience in this life is because we're here, in this life, in our bodies, right now... Everything... is only available to us through the bodies we have. This doesn't mean we have to love our bodies. We don't even really have to like our bodies.

But maybe we can negotiate a truce with our bodies. Sure, my body's entirely human, and yeah, it's awkward and unwieldy and a constant source of pain and fatigue and the damned thing has bits missing and doesn't "move right" but by all that is holy do I love to put a piece of high quality dark chocolate on my tongue and letting it melt as I sip a freshly made cup of coffee. When I'm having a particularly bad body day I sometimes just spend the day filling my time with whatever keeps me occupied, but whenever I start to feel a little better I help myself to a treat. A nap in the sun, a hot bath, a bite of my favorite food, the music that makes me wanna bounce and dance, a new game off on sale off one of the game providers, something like that. All of that is my truce with my body. I don't need it to be something it can not be, I just need it to keep existing so I can keep having nice things. This has given me, more than anything else, Time. And Time brings change, it's inevitable. Everything changes All the time. So all of that time has gotten me something amazing. I have my own adult autistic offspring. They're amazing, intelligent, incredibly talented, and quite possibly the best thing I've brought into this world. I have a husband and a boyfriend and I love them both so very much. I have a beautiful home full of plants and pets, full of Life. I have been able to do all the transition things I wanted. I have a pretty good life right now. Body's still frequently nothing short of a meat prison, but even then it's still livable and sometimes that's all we really need... but in order to get there, we just have to stick around for a while.

[theliterarywolf]

NGL what I remember about my highschool teachers were the stories they told, how kind they were to students, and when they pulled pranks on the students. Unfortunately I can't remember what most of them looked like or wore

At least in my credential program, as well as what I heard from two local district superintendents who came to my uni to speak (ironically enough one from the district where I had my botched interviews and one from the district that eventually ended up hiring me for the upcoming school year), the main things that they emphasized was having educators who are personable, relatable, and actually talk to their students like they're people.

And it more than makes sense because, just like you, the core experiences I remember from my high school years when it came to teachers center around how they would talk to us and the stories they told.

For instance, my 11th grade math teacher was so good at presenting information in fun, engaging ways (he was particularly fond of setting things to music and he would play the guitar along with them) that I went from years of average out with C's in math to rolling up to a mid-B.

Compare that to the 10th grade math teacher I had for one semester (the school I went to suffered a lot from the city giving LA families vouchers to move in and, therefore, students having to be chaotically shuffled through classes to try and balance the school population out) who, upon me happily chiming out 'Oh, I love that show!' when he was talking about his young daughter forcing him to watch Little Einsteins said, in front of the class, 'Maybe if you didn't waste time watching cartoons, you would be better at math'.