#but please please just wear masks when you're sick please I thought we all got into the habit of this over 3 years

[vimbry]

I'm so siiick. in that I'm cool but also I've had the flu

[aboringredmop]

k still don't know how im gonna post the videos (YouTube? unlisted?someone please help) but I can't sleep so I thought it'd write down whatever I remember happening!

(edit: here's the full recording! )

Becky and Joe walked on stage wearing sunglasses and red leather jackets and threw 3 of the trio plushies into the crowd. didn't get one unfortunately but it's really cool some people got free plushies :)

they made this robot child called the Inspiration Child, who's clearly meant to be a nod to ai (can learn from our show and generate it's own content!)

they explained how they met (and had some dodgy animated retelling), and how they started with small projects like commercials and music videos, until they came up with designs of the trio (and a mysterious fourth fella)

they made the designs first, then made the set, then the song and finally wrote the script for creativity. red guy was just a red mop head with legs at first ("alien squid thing") but Joe put the red guy head on for shits and giggles once and Becky thought it was hilarious so they kept it in the show

they were really not expecting it to blow up, and when Sundance called because they wanted to show creativity Becky thought it was a scam caller lol

they talked about the kickstarter and the credit card fraud kid. the mailed him saying "hey maybe dont do that" but the kid didnt know how to undo it cuz he just found a website full of credit card information and went ham, so Becky and Joe had to contact kickstarter because people were pulling out of the funding because they thought the project was overfunded (kickstarter was very difficult to contact)

they also made (lighthearted) fun of nsfw fluffybird art ((no padlock 😔) "using OUR characters to act out their SICK FANTASIES" - Becky) and theorists, especially because most if not all of the webseries is just them fucking around.

Inspiration Child also says something along the lines of "wow what a cool show with a great message of how corrupt the media is. I hate the media!"

Becky and Joe had these rules to make the show as vague as possible (no pop culture references, no names, no swearing and way too much detail put into small things)(the duck guy drag queen absolutely obliterates the no swearing rule lol)

they talk about the pilot, how they focused too much on the story because they felt like they had to due to it being on the big screen now, and how it ended up ruining the atmosphere and such of the pilot. they did show the entire thing sped up but my phone sucks ass so I could not get it to focus correctly. I'll see what I can salvage so you people can dissect frames of your blorbo you're Legally Not Allowed To See (which is also the official reason we don't get the pilot)

also pilot concept art showed that Mean Steve is in fact just called Key

they showed a whole post-it wall full of ideas for the tv show. don't know how much I got on footage, but what stood out most to me were 2 episodes called Money and Christmas. Joe mentioned "clock in a wheelchair" specifically

also really fun fact. Becky made the Lesley suit during covid, and pretty much threatened Baker into writing a human character into the show to wear it. concept art also shows Lesley with a mask made out of the same fabric, don't know if this was part of the original suit tho

they showed Warrens old models (?). he was gonna be a wayy more ugly looking silicone pug-worm thing y'all got lucky with the bald fuck

lily and todney were directly based off of some cancelled show about two porcelain doll children with panda parents. do not for the life of me remember what it was called but Becky and Joe were very enthousiastic about it (UPDATE: Candy and Andy!)

international release of the show soon!

Inspiration Child talks about what he's learned and sings a little song, then generates his own dhmis inspired content of a cult meeting in a forest at night. the dhmis Discord server called this "potential new content" but I doubt it

3 cultists walk on stage, face the screen backs to the crowd, drop their cloaks and boom! drag queens!!!

they were not mentioned on the site or during earlier parts of the show at all so they were a complete surprise. I asked Becky about it later during the night and she said she really wanted them there, so she asked and they were excited to! hope this means more official content with them soon I love them

they dance to There's Three Of Us, then Duck lipsings the shredder song which turns into a techno remix while Red and Yellow dance during the background

then Duck and Yellow make out while Red tries to undress to the instrumentals of the Fucked Up Part of Creativity but can't get out of his suit on time before the song ends

the drag queens, Becky and Joe and the Inspiration Child walk around during the meet and greet later and I got signatures from all of them! except inspiration child he didn't have thumbs

the drag queens were so fucking funny. Duck adopted inspiration child and loudly yelled at everyone to "GET AWAY FROM MY FUCKING CHILD" (their duck voice is sooo good). yellow stood in a corner staring at a wall for like 10 minutes and red was constantly awkwardly hovering just outside the frames of pictures (and also could not see shit lmao)

Becky liked my shirt! (the one with the melting trio heads) said she handdrew it

I'll post the signatures and some more stuff tomorrow because it is. 5 am

edit Heres the signatures! yellow guys is Italian I think? and means hi I love you :)

(the liyskaen is duck trying to spell my name. they got pretty close)

[rainydaymiscellaneous]

Sick Day (Xavier x Fem!reader)

Summary: you become sick after falling into the lake during the poe cup. Your boyfriend takes care of you.

Warnings: sickness, throwing up, swearing

That poe cup. That god damn poe cup. You hated that you got roped into that fucking competition to begin with. It didn't help that your canoe sank and you were ice cold by the time the competition was over. Xavier noticed you shivering on the docks, grabbing his dry jacket from his back and wrapping it around you.

"It's so fucking cold" you whined. He chuckled, kissing your forehead. "Your facepaint is wearing off by the way." You said, helping him with his smudged eye paint. He rolled his eyes and you sneezed. He frowned. "You're not getting sick are you?" He asked. "I'm sure I'm just cold- ACHOO!" You sneezed out.

Just cold. Right. "Just cold" turned into the flu. Xavier didn't realize you were sick until you weren't by his side in Thornhill's class. "Has anyone seen Miss Y/n?" She asked. "She's sick with the flu." Odelia, your roommate answered. "Oh! Oh no, I hope she feels better." Thornhill said. She noticed the look on Xavier's face. "...Mister Thorpe, if you'd like to check on her-" that was all he needed to hear, him leaving almost immediately.

He gathered things from the pantry. Saltines, chicken noodle soup, sprite... things that would make you feel comfortable. He knocked on your door and he heard a congested "I promise I'm fine Miss Weems" before the door opened. You blinked. "Xay?" You asked. He held up the bowl of soup and you opened the door for him to come in. He sat down his things, you sitting on your bed as Xavier pulled your desk chair to your bedside. "Why didn't you tell me you were getting sick?" He asked. "Dunno... I honestly thought it was allergies. They usually flare up around this time." You admitted. He put his hand to your forehead. "You're hot." He noticed. "No you are." You joked. He rolled his eyes. "Lay down baby. Get some rest." He said. "I've been sleeping all day.. I'm not really tired." You admitted.

"Are you hungry?" He asked. "Anything I've eaten won't stay down." You sighed, flopping onto the bed. He nudged the sprite he got for you on your nightstand. You took it. "You shouldn't be here. You'll get sick." You said. "Someone's got to take care of you." He said. You sighed. "You took a covid test?" He asked. "Weems made me take three." You said. "Negative?" "Yep." You said. "Well that's good at least. I remember when I got it last year I fucking hated it. Couldn't taste anything for a while." He said. You opened your mouth to speak but halted, grabbing your trashcan and throwing up instead.

Xavier picked up your wrist, pulling a hair tie from it and pulled back your hair as you lingered over the garbage can. "I hate my life at this moment." You whined. "It'll be okay..." he soothed. "I feel like shit." "I know baby." "And the worst part? I need a shower. I don't want to walk." You whined. "Well, I can't exactly help you there. But if we get you a mask I'm sure Odette would help." He said. "Or ask me." Yoko said, standing in the doorway.

You looked over. "Hi Yoko." You greeted. "You need help?" She asked. "Please." You nodded. "I got her. Try to clean up her... nest... she's made." Yoko said, helping you up.

Xavier cleaned up, throwing away tissues and empty nyquil packets. He even went as far as to change your sheets, ensuring you'd be comfortable. Yoko brought you back, you walking back in a hoodie of Xavier's. You laid down, sighing. "I'm missing so much school work right now." You said. "Worry about that later... right now you should hydrate." He said, pulling out a water bottle. "Thanks Xay." You said. "You're welcome sweetheart" he said, getting up. "Don't go." You said. He turned. "I don't want to be alone..." you admitted. He sat back down. "I'm not going anywhere. Not when you need me." He said, holding your hand. You smiled slightly at him before coughing.

As the day carried on, he ended up laying next to you, watching movies on his laptop while you tried to recover. Day after day, he was there taking care of you. You were surprised he didn't get sick but he would sit by your bedside drawing while you slept. He'd bring you food, he'd help you walk if you needed to...

You were reading in bed, him drawing next to you. "Hey, Xavier?" You asked. Your use of his full name got his attention, him looking up. "Yes Y/n?" He asked, letting you know you had his full attention. "I love you. You know that right?" You asked. It was the first either of you had said that out loud. Through text? Yeah. Out loud was another story.

He smiled, kissing your knuckles. "I love you too Y/n."

[innytoes]

Don't know of I am too late but for the AU headcanons a Greater Polyphantoms Polycule fairytale AU?

-Julie, in a bid to help her mother and because she is the Main Character, falls through a magical book into a fairytale world, and now she must find her way back to even be able to see her mother (or any of her family) at all.

-Flynn, because she is genre savvy, jumps in right after her girlfriend because she knows Julie will get caught up in SHENANIGANS.

-Which she immediately does. Flynn isn't even through the magic portal all the way yet when she sees Julie talk to a Wolf. As in Big Bad. She threatens to pepperspray him but he bursts into tears, pulling down his red cape to cover his tail.

-He says he was just trying to bring some things to his sick Meemaw when he got distracted and strayed off the path and got bitten by a big bad wolf, and now he's too scared to go home and he still needs to give MeeMaw her things, but what if she doesn't recognise him.

-Flynn of course, rolls her eyes and is like: Just put your hood up so she can't see your fluffy ears and tuck in your tail, wear a face mask so she can't see what big teeth you have, and ring the doorbell and stand six feet back. Tell her you're social distancing.

-Of course Flynn has an extra face mask, she made them herself, it's got a cool galaxy print on it.

-Now that Meemaw has her food and medicine, Reggie is so grateful he pledges to help them on their Quest. Flynn shrugs because at least he's a local who can help them get around.

-Also he's really cute and he makes happy puppy noises when you scratch him behind the ears. And he's nice to curl up with at night in front of the fire.

-Along the way they meet Carrie, a girl who went to the ball to have a good time as someone other than herself, lost her glass slipper, and now she can't wear her signature colour anymore because the damn prince keeps trying to find the girl in pink with the fancy shoes.

"The shoes were awful for dancing in, but they did look good."

-Carrie is obsessed with Julie's sneakers. They trade her for them, and she makes them some clothes that means they fit in better.

-Flynn is all: Girl you are rocking that corset. Julie is embarrassed, especially when she sees both Carrie and Reggie go pink in agreement.

-Next they find a beautiful blonde prince in a glass coffin. Carrie reads the sign and tells them about how the prince ate a poison apple and fell into a coma and they're hoping his true love can kiss him awake, and that for 5 silver, you can try, please inquire inside.

-Flynn is like: Oh hell no that is a CONSENT VIOLATION and breaks the glass coffin, gives the poor boy the heimlich. He coughs up the apple, is very freaked out, and is like: please get me the hell away from here.

-His name is Alex and he ran away into the woods because his evil king and queen parents wanted him to marry a girl and he does not want to. So they keep trying to murder him to makes sure he doesn't come back to claim the throne. He doesn't want the throne. He wants a boyfriend and a nice little cottage with a cozy fireplace and maybe a cat, or a dog.

-For now he gets a Reggie instead which is kind of the same thing.

-They break into a tower to crash for the night, find a cute boy Alex is instantly in love with, rescue him, help him cut his hair to a nice manageable mid-back length, and take him with them.

-Do they nearly lose Alex, Willie, and Reggie to an evil witch with a house made of candy? Yes they do.

-Julie is like: STOP. TAKING. FOOD. FROM. STRANGERS. Alex, I thought you of all people would know better!

-Carrie: I mean the witch is dead now, help me chop up her damn sofa so we have provisions to last us a while.

-They do not stay at the witch's house though because it's technically an active crime scene. So they're out late at night wandering the woods when they find Luke. Who fell through a magic portal of his own in the 90s and thought it was rad as fuck at first, but then he realised he's not AGING and what do you mean it's been 25 years???? So they take him with him as well to see if they can get him home.

-Right before they find the magic portal back, Carrie's prince finds them and she grabs Flynn's pepperspray to keep him away and he's like: I JUST WANT TO GIVE YOUR SHOE BACK THEY LOOK EXPENSIVE also I'm not the real prince, I'm the kitchen boy who looks weirdly like the prince, we switched places and he fucked off and people are starting to catch on I'm not him because I don't know court etiquette please take me with you before they behead me.

-So they take Nick back home with them as well and they all live happily ever after. Rose is cured, Reggie is human again, Willie is safe from the evil warlock who locked him up, Luke gets reunited with his mom, and Ray is like: ... okay so... we're gonna need a lot of bunk beds?

[polarisbibliotheque]

Little update ^^

Well, well, who'd've known, yours truly is reckless and got Covid "-.-

I blame Mötley Crüe, Def Leppard and my constant love for going to concerts after such a long time in this godforsaken lockdown :)

(my Dante side is showing)

Anyways, I'm isolated in my room now. I'm making this lil' update so I can tell you people: do take care of yourselves - but if you are in a risk group, take care of yourselves in double, please.

A year ago, my sister and my dad got Covid - they felt almost nothing. They just got really grumpy and locked in their rooms, waiting for the day of their sweet, sweet freedom. Apart from that, they felt only like a mild flu, nothing much.

As some of you know, I've an autoimmune liver disease - which puts me in risk group. I could barely get up yesterday - I slept the whole day, got up at 7 p.m, had fever the whole day and through the night, couldn't eat without feeling miserable and slept until 2 p.m today. My whole body hurts, my head also hurts really bad, I couldn't properly work on my artist tasks for the week, and I am so so so tired I think I'm gonna faint sometimes.

But worry not, I'm already feeling a little better today. I think the worst day was yesterday. Hopefully by next week I'll already be ok regarding this.

I'm just writing all this because seriously, we all react differently. I was so scared to get Covid and everyone kept telling me like "oh, it's ok, don't worry, if you get it you'll feel like a flu and in 2 days you're good" - I've been feeling like this for 4 days now. I'm really sick and miserable.

Point being: my reactions to this are VERY different than everyone else's and I'm not being too over the top when I'm still wearing masks and taking care of myself when going out.

Don't let anyone make you feel bad for taking care of your health too. It's better to look like a weirdo than being sick like this, trust me ;)

My mom, in the other hand, is taking relentless care of me and is the one single being in this household to seem not to get sick. I say she's like Highlander, nothing can touch her.

Seriously. The woman ate a dead oyster in her youth and only felt a little sick in a flight home. She is the toughest being I've ever seen in my whole life. She got an Extreme Unction from a priest who thought she was going to die when she was like 12 years old and, lo and behold, the woman persevered.

Greek half-immortal heroes know nothing compared to my mom.

I do think Eva is pretty much like her in that department, no demonic or human disease could touch her

All in all, everything is fine. I'll take this isolation time to draw like a mad-woman, be more serious when studying languages, learning to play the guitar properly and writing more stuff to you guys.

I'll keep you all posted! And remember TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES DESPITE WHAT THE WORLD THINKS OF IT!

[bonkersbon]

Since BEFORE covid, it's made me mad when people are sick and don't tell you until you're already ill. It's normal for them not to tell someone, hey, I woke up sick a day or so ago, or Hey, I'm feeling off today, and warn people. Or people who send their sick kids or toddlers to school like usual. Oh, I have to work so you're going to school sick. Oh, so we all get sick. It's pissed me off since my firstborn! Then came covid, and it makes me even more mad that no one cares. Openly coughing and sick and not giving people a heads up or ruffian it off that they got us sick! Not keeping in consideration, some of us have to keep our partners safe! Mine has terminal cancer, and now I'm sick, and a jackass told me After three days of our family hanging out that they felt “tickles,” or symptoms before we left!

Like, what the hell were you sick BEFORE!? And their typical response is, “I just thought it was my allergies.” no, you daft bitch! Science! You're the most contagious when? As soon as symptoms start or the day before, you silly ass! I can't stand people! Please give us a heads-up so we can decide not to be around you! You don't have to stay home when sick because it's unbelievable how you will anyway! But least for me, the opportunity to be away from you! I'm wearing a mask and dead ass, staying away from people, especially other people's children. Mine have gotten sick significantly less than any kid I've ever met, and I want to keep it that way! Every time other kids have colds, I'll catch it! Immediately! So I'm always Hewitt for them to be around kids! They go months and months without being sick, and then there are other kids I know who are constantly sick

I don't understand it, but cancer and people who don't stay the F away from me when they're sick piss me off more than anything in this world

People Suck on so many levels

And I'm having a hard time accepting the fact that there is nothing I can do about it

I wish I could smack the cold right out of their head

[lebenspurpur]

AN: Helloo, wrote this because I spent today suffering through my post-drunk-vandalism hangover. Guess it's deserved but still, it sucks. After eating chicken broth my dad made, unsalted if I may add, for an hour straight I am now ready to be creative. I really don't know what this is.

Have the link to my Larry playlist while we're at it:

Pairing: Larry Johnson x reader

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of alcohol

Wordcount: 1744 words

🤍🧷💀⛓🔪🏁🕷🤍🧷💀⛓🔪🏁🕷🤍🧷💀⛓🔪🏁🕷🤍🧷💀⛓

Larry looks really, really stupid right now. Stupid and sick.

His tall form slumped over in defeat, big blanket wrapped around him but not too tight, otherwise he'd feel too hot, too feverish, he still needs some air. There are tissues scattered across the couch as well. Fucking hell.

Usually, this would disgust you but it's Larry, you think you've seen worse.

Small sniffles come from where he's laying, whenever he clears his throat hoarse croaking leaves his mouth and he cringes every time he hears it. He can feel your judging gaze on his body, hear your arched eyebrow without even lifting his head.

His radio is blaring some kind of metal music, you don't recognize the band. Technically, the music is useless since the TV in front of Larry's bed is playing an old horror movie, bloody screams only adding to the grimy ambiance in the room.

"I-", you start but Larry lifts his hand before you can even consider continuing.

On any other occasion, you would've noticed the rings adorning his slender fingers, the metal accessories leaving a trail of dark smudge on his hands. Damn, did he have some nice hands.

Thankfully today wasn't a normal occasion. The metalhead in front of you had worse problems than you drooling over his fingers right now, one of them being the sickness he caught.

"Don't you dare say 'I told you so.'", he croaks out while he finally lifts his head, bloodshot eyes meeting yours. He looks immensely tired. You can sense his annoyance at this sickness, this hellish treatment he's in and can't seem to escape.

You take a deep breath in and drop your bag next to his opened front door.

"Alright. I won't."

You close the door quietly and deposit your jacket as well as boots next to it.

His mom always screams at Larry to finally get something for visitor's shoes and bags but he never does. Too busy, too lazy, he figures his visitors get it. Who even visits him, anyway?

The floor is, as usual, covered in stuff he hasn't cleaned yet. Unfinished drawings, sketchbooks, take-out cartons, empty booze bottles, you keep wondering how he manages to create that kind of mess in a timespan of not even two days.

You tiptoe over them, careful as to not to step into something. Earlier experiences have taught you to never mistake one of these seemingly empty cartons as really empty. Just last week you stepped into a fucking pizza the man in front of you didn't finish.

You sigh as you sit down next to him and Larry tiredly raises an eyebrow.

"Dude, I know you don't want to move but Jesus, we really need to get you to bed.", you then state, voice comforting yet firm. You use the moment to stare into his eyes, adore the brown, thick, deepness of them.

Larry groans loudly, voice breaking from how raw his throat is. His head falls back and he closes his eyes, a pained expression on his features.

"Don't wanna.", he grumbles quietly and you involuntarily crack a smile. Larry always managed to do that, even in the most unbelievable moments.

"I'll join you if you do."

One of his eyes slowly creaks open, observing your face to look for any kind of sarcasm or irony. As soon as he doesn't find any, the other eye opens as well and he leans forward again, blanket clutched tightly in his fists.

"Alright."

You grin at his quiet answer, hand reaching over to pull him with you. He obliges, warm, slightly clammy hand tightly grabbing yours. He follows you through the messy room, his blanket leaving a trail of destruction behind the two of you.

You kick open the door leading to his bedroom. Immediately, the familiar images of various album covers greet you. The air in his room is colder and less damp and you hear him take a deep breath.

Turning around, you mention for him to wait while you walk over, grabbing the blanket on his bed. You shake it a bit, readjust the sheets as well the pillow, all while Larry's eyes never leave your back.

"There you go, sweets.", you add as you finish, quickly turning around to see Larry standing the same way you've left him. Tired, slumped, and emotional. The need to hug him starts boiling inside of you but you try and hold yourself back. First, you have to make sure he gets into bed.

Larry slowly stumbles past you. During the last few baby steps, he drops the blanket around his shoulder, faceplanting right into the freshly made sheets. He's not even wearing a shirt and you huff at his stubbornness.

Larry's back looks strong like this, muscles contracting beneath his skin as he tries to get more comfortable. Your eyes glide over his spine, his wide shoulders, the small bumps where his ribs encase his organs. His olive skin is sweaty and long, brown hairs cling to it.

You cringe at that, knowing the feeling all too well.

Softly placing a hand on his back, you move closer, forehead scrunched together.

"Larry, darling."

He grunts into his pillow, a muffled questioning sound.

"I got a hair tie here. Mind lifting your head real quick?"

Larry obliges and lifts his head quickly, taking a deep breath while he does so.

Your fingers find his scalp and start collecting all the strands, securing them afterward with the tie around your wrist.

The man beneath you hums in appreciation as the cold air hits his neck, sweaty skin finally being able to breathe. You kiss the small space beneath his neck real quick, a short sign of comfort before you stand up again, hands leaving his skin.

Larry whines the second you do so, all while quickly turning around, sending you a pleading look.

"You said you'd stay.", the whiny tone only makes his voice sound more hoarse and you can't help the small grin from appearing on your features.

"In a second, sweetie. You need some water and medicine first, alright?"

He whines again but the thought of something fresh and cold going down his throat is enough to soften the pleading look in his eye. You blow him a kiss and then quickly walk into the kitchen, which is right across from the brunette's room.

It's surprisingly clean but what did you expect? Larry never uses his kitchen unless he has to. Which isn't all too often.

Grabbing a water bottle and placing it on the counter, you keep searching for the small broth packets you'd bought exactly for this kind of scenario. You find them in the fridge, the only thing in this room that Larry actually uses.

Chuckling you get some water cooking, all while pouring the powder into one of the giant cups Sal has gifted Larry a while ago. According to the masked man, everything tastes better if it's being eaten out of a cup and so, everyone has their own sets of cups, a premium gift from Sal Fisher.

Soon, everything's done and you maneuver your way back into Larry's room. Said man is awaiting you, eyes still opened as he watches you creep towards his bed, hands full with water, soup, and medicine.

First, you feed him the medicine. Normally he'd do this himself but you know that he'll just ignore the bitter juice unless you force it down his throat. Stubborn motherfucker.

Larry's sitting up now, back propped up against one of the many big pillows he has. You hand him the broth and he inhales it in less than two minutes, apparently, this is the first thing he's eaten today. Shaking your head at the thought, you tug a few strands of hair out of his face, smiling at your lover's appetite.

Finally, after gulping down half of the water bottle, the brunette leans back and smiles, for the first time this evening.

"Thank you.", he croaks out and you touch his arm as an appreciative gesture, "Does that mean you're allowed to join me now?"

You're about to nod as you notice the faint traces of eyeliner on his skin.

"Did you take off your makeup when you got home?", you ask, throwing a teasing smile his way.

Larry clears his throat, embarrassed that you caught him. A faint blush raises on his cheeks and you feel your heart swell at the sight.

"I might have forgotten about it.", he answers, gaze slowly meeting yours again, "But please, let's just do this later, dude. I am so fucking tired."

Huffing, you roll your eyes at his answer but you nod anyway. He'd be fine with the makeup for a few more hours. You just have to remember taking it off tomorrow.

"You're lucky I love you."

Larry grins at that, the usual wide, blinding grin, that makes your stomach tingle with fuzzy feelings inside of it. His fingers find your arm and he tenderly pulls you down to join him. Soon, your head is placed on his chest, and his arms cradle your shoulders, pulling you into his body.

You can hear his relaxed breathing as he finally settles down, nuzzling his face into your hair.

His skin is warm against your cheek and you smile into it. It doesn't matter how often you've done it, laying on his nude chest always makes you flustered.

Larry's fingers start to draw stuff on your back, the feeling more than a delight for you. Humming, you snuggle closer and the metalhead next to you smiles.

His eyes already start to close slowly, lack of sleep finally catching up to him. The quiet sound of the ongoing movie in his living room, as well as the metal music, make for a great background sound and you both listen intently.

You notice the way his heart beats, slow and steady, beneath the tanned skin. Unknowingly, you start to synchronize your breaths with his. In and out. In. And out.

Soon, your eyes close as well. Damn it, you don't want to fall asleep. Though, you suppose it doesn't matter as the man next to you pulls you closer, his breath warm against your ear. He wouldn't let you leave anyway.

The thought makes you feel giddy, excited, in love. Smiling widely, you try to press yourself closer into him, and soon, you too, fall asleep, enveloped by the arms of the boy you love most. Your favorite boy.

[cherrycheridarling]

chemistry test | t.h.

tom holland x actress!reader

warnings: fluff and acting..?

summary: you're auditioning for the role of silk in the new marvel film. they've already chosen their spider-man and now it's time to see how much chemistry you two have.

wc: 1.9k

"Hi! I'm here for the Marvel auditions?" you greeted the lady who sat at the front desk.

"Hello! What's your name?"

"Y/N Y/L/N."

Nerves were running through your veins at lightning speed. The lady gave you a kind smile and told you to head to room three hundred and sixteen. You returned the smile before heading to the elevators.

Upon entering, you were faced with at least fifteen other women who were also auditioning. All with black locks and brown eyes. You'd be lying if you said you weren't slightly intimidated. Sure, you had done some small films here and there, but looking at the competition now was frightening. A lady came and handed all of you a small script. At least it was a distraction. You spent the entire time reading your lines and trying your hardest to memorize them.

You sat in the waiting room for at least fourty-five minutes before your name was finally called and you were escorted into another space. Once you entered, your eyes were immediately drawn to the long table where the producers, casting crew and directors - who you've met hundreds of times in your previous auditions - were sat. You shook hands and gave greetings, the usual.

"Y/N, meet our new Spider-Man." Kevin gestured to the brunette boy at the front of the room.

He was cute. Dangerously cute. His small curls that laid messily only seemed to add to his appeal.

You smiled and walked over to him, "Hi. I'm Y/N Y/L/N. It's great to meet you." you offered your hand.

He returned the grin before shaking your hand, "Tom Holland. It's a pleasure." you noticed his British accent and couldn't stop yourself from the confused expression that took over your features.

"You're British?"

He nodded with a smile, "That I am, but," he switched to an American accent, "I can turn it off, too."

Your smile grew, impressed by his ability, "That's so cool. I would try a British accent, but I feel like I might offend you."

He laughed with you for a bit, his hand still holding yours. You both noticed the predicament and quickly withdrew your hands. Sheepish grins showed on both your lips.

Joe Russo cleared his throat, "A little background information in case you're not familiar with Cindy Moon's story."

You silently thanked him for this since you were not at all familiar with whatever the character entailed. Only getting small glimpses of her personality and behaviour before you got thrown into the mix of auditions.

"Cindy and Peter went to the same school and got bitten by the same radioactive spider. A man took Cindy and trained her, but also hid her in a bunker when her powers became too much for her to control. Her Silk Sense – which is her version of a Spider Sense – is incredibly powerful. Stronger than Peter's. In this scene, Peter is saving her from the bunker. Understood?" he spoke so quickly that you nearly didn't catch it all, but nevertheless, you nodded your head.

"Got it." you put the script to the side and took off your jacket.

"Now," Kevin spoke, "Remember, this is a chemistry test. So we want to see – not just how compatible your characters are – but you guys, as well."

Your palms began to sweat. You already knew that they were looking for chemistry, but being put on the spot made your anxiety sky rocket. You nodded again in understanding.

"Sounds good." Tom went to the other side of the room, "Good luck." he sent you another frustratingly attractive smile.

You nodded with your own grin, "Thanks, Spidey."

You spotted a small cot beside you and made your way over, laying with your back to Tom. Ready to start the scene.

"Action!"

Before any lines were given, you lifted your head, but kept it facing the wall. As if you were listening for something, waiting for something.

"Spider- Boy? Guy? Spider-something." you spoke to the wall and a second later, Tom's footsteps were heard behind you.

"I prefer Spider-Man." Tom's voice filled your ears as he leaned against the wall. "Nice to meet you, Cindy Moon."

You held a hand to your head, as if a painful migraine had just arrived. "Your presence is causing me pain. Who-" you looked up at the man, recognition dawning on your features, "Peter."

"W-what? N-n-no, no, no. Who's Peter? I'm Spider-Man." he insisted rather poorly. Deepening his voice.

You turned your body around, hanging your legs off of the cot, "I-I feel it. I remember you. Parker from my science class. Left row, three seats behind me. And my math and history. Front row in history. Middle in math. You always had a new backpack every week."

"Eidetic memory." he mumbled under his breath.

"Hm?" you furrowed your eyebrows.

"Nothing. Never mind. We can discuss this later. You need to get out of here. And I have come to save you from whatever this place is." he eyed the space with disgust.

You eyed him suspiciously, "Is this some Disney movie? Is there a magical horse drawn carriage waiting outside?"

He showed a boyish grin, "I guess you can call me your knight in red and blue spandex."

You scoffed and stood up, "Okay, Parker. How'd you know I was here?"

"Oh! This awesome dude, Tony Stark, he knows, like, everything! A-and he told me that you were here and sent me on a mission– Which is so cool! But yeah, he told me to come and save you. And that is what I am doing." he jumped up and down like an excited child.

You eyed the space around you, "Wait. M-my powers. I can't control them. I-I mean, I'm trying, b-but it's still—"

"—We can focus on that later! Right now, the richest and sickest guy on the planet is requesting you. C'mon." he grabbed your hand and, as scripted, you both locked eyes immediately.

You tried your best to look like you were falling in love. And as you stared into his deep brown eyes, you found that it wasn't that difficult. He stared back into yours. His hand still wrapped around your fingers. Your free hand travelled to his face, as if you were about to pull his mask up. Resting your palm on his jawline. His other hand that wasn't grasping yours, rested on your hip. A light pressure that nearly sent you into a haze. You both began to lean in and it no longer felt like acting until you squeezed your eyes shut, shook your head and pushed him away rather aggressively.

You put a hand on the wall, drawing heavy breaths in and out, "W-what are you doing to me?" you looked at him through heavy eyelids.

Tom was in a similar position, back against the wall, hand over his chest, "Mister Stark said that m-might h-happen." his head was thrown back against the wall, showing off the expanse of his neck as he swallowed. "Something- Something about our senses causes a strong- How do I say this? I-Intimate attraction between us."

Your eyebrows furrowed, eyes narrowing, "A-an attraction? An intimate attraction? To you? Ew."

He pushed himself off the wall, "Glad to see you haven't changed one bit, Moon." he walked away from you, "We really need to get going. You- Oh! I've been wondering this: Where's your webbing?" he looked around as if he was searching for it.

You stuck your hand out and pretended to shoot a string of silk out of your finger and onto the wall. Tom followed your movements with a starstruck expression.

"That's sick! I have to make mine." he frowned, "We got bit by the same fricking spider and yours is in your hands? Let me see!" he came closer and attempted to grab your hand again before you quickly put it behind your back.

"Don't touch me." you spoke slowly, "I-if this attraction is caused by physical touch. Please, do not touch me."

He plastered on a playful smirk, "Oh, it's more than physical, Moon."

You rolled your eyes and stepped away from the wall, "Dream on, Parker. Are we going to this Mister Stank or whatever?" you waved your hand with a limp wrist.

Tom gasped, "He's Iron Man! It's Mister Stark! Stark! Not stank! And you need a suit. Mister Stark has one ready for you at the compound, but you need something to wear on the way there." he looked around for one.

As if it had just dawned on your character that you were finally leaving the bunker, your attitude changed. A smile gracing your lips.

"I think I can do a little something."

You gestured your hands around yourself, pretending to create a suit from your silk. Tom watched with amazement, "Hey, how are you doing that?" he bent down and examined your body from head to toe.

"I had a lot of free time on my hands. Costume on-the-go. You like?" you smirked as you continued your movements.

Tom nodded his head as he came back up to stand beside you, "I could've saved so much time and money by doing that."

You finally completed your gesturing with a grin, "Ta-da! A bit sticky, but I think it'll do." you pretended to stretch around in the costume.

"Okay, let's go, Moon—"

"—Nope. Nuh-uh. When I'm webbed up like this, call me Silk." you smiled triumphantly.

And with that, the scene came to an end. The producers and casting directors all stood and clapped for you and Tom. You smiled widely at how successful it had gone. Before you could even react, Tom pulled you into a hug. Arms wrapped around your waist. Without a second thought, you wrapped yours around his neck with a laugh.

"You were amazing!" Tom praised you with a wide grin.

You couldn't help but to smile, "Thank you! It helps when you have an awesome scene partner."

His cheeks turned a shade of scarlet at your compliment before Anthony Russo spoke, "That was amazing! Thank you, Y/N."

You shook your head, "Thank you for having me."

Joe came and shook your hand, "Expect a call on Monday. Keep your ringer on." he smiled.

"And that wraps up the chemistry tests! Great job, everyone!" Anthony announced as you handed the script back to them and threw your jacket on.

You swung your bag over your shoulder and made your way to the door.

"Wait!" Tom called from behind you.

You stopped in your steps and turned around with a kind smile.

He held out his phone, "Since we're going to be working together, might as well get to know one another." he had a timid grin.

"Don't jinx it, Holland." you let a light chuckle fall from your lips.

He shook his head, "It's not jinxing, it's manifesting and you were by far the best Cindy Moon. You've already got the part." he insisted making you shake your head.

"We'll see about that." you punched in your number and before you could add your name, Tom took his phone back.

"Wait." he quickly typed away.

'silk'

You smiled at the contact name before offering your phone. He typed in his number and took it upon himself to put the name.

'spidey'

"I'll see you around, Y/L/N." he gave you a little salute making you laugh.

You nodded, "Definitely, Holland." you turned around and walked out of the door.

Both of you were so engrossed in your interaction that you didn't notice the producers and casting directors watching from afar. Proud smiles dawning their lips.

They found their Cindy Moon.

[iwaisuke]

confessions; but not remembering it

ft. kita shinsuke, sakusa kiyoomi x sick fem!reader

genre: fluff

masterlist

a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and then i rushed bc i was getting tired 🙃 also. sakusa's is a little ooc. sorry ab that

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

» the clean yet musty smell of rain filled the gym as the boys practiced. it was a surprisingly humid and rainy spring day today here in the country side of hyogo

» "achoo" you had been sneezing and coughing all day. you also had a terrible headache but took some medicine to see if it would help. the spring allergies really getting to you

» you didnt reay have the time to be worrying about yourself. As a 2nd year manager of the inarizaki team, (recommend by suna) and the boys working so hard practicing for nationals there was no way you'd let this little cold get in the way. you had to work just as hard as everyone else!

» "hold on, im about to hang up your jerseys to dry"

» "i got you guys some fresh towels!"

» "i can run and grab that coach. im headed that way anyways"

» the coach called for a short break to rest up for a bit. everyone was sore and exhausted from practicing every day. "here. i filled your water bottles up!" handing them to all the boys. "y/n you're all wet" akagi sounded concerned.

» "hm? oh its alright. I'll dry off in a minute. i took the shortcut to the drinking fountain to refill your waterbottles instead of taking the long way" you nonchalantly said. "so you ran through the rain like an idiot?" suna threw a clean towel over your damp hair and ruffled it. "suna!! stop!! you're gonna ruin my hair"

» "like i said. its alright" you reassured the boys.

» kita, on the other hand had noticed your fatigue. although he wasnt as perceptive on peoples feeling and thoughts as well as others, he could easily pick up signs like yours. he admired you dearly for how hard you always work for the team. how you willingly did anything to make them smile. how you always put others first before yours. needless to say, he had a bit of a crush on you.

» "l/n san. i think you should take a break too. there's no need for you to be running around for us while we're resting" kita assured you. "i still have a few things left on my list to do.. but afterwards I'll take a break!" kita let out a sigh. you were stubborn sometimes and kita knew you were the kind of person to not stop until you're finished.

» "I'll be right back. i gotta grab the laundry"

» making an excuse to leave, your heart was beating fast. you knew kita's words were the kind he'd say to anyone, but it made your heart feel fuzzy when he'd look out for you.

» the stone cold captain who you thought he was, actually was so kind. he was just a little awkward like you, and a little blunt with what he said sometimes. but you learned the great qualities he carries and how much he actually cares about others well being. he was a hard worker and you couldnt help but absentmindedly fall for the captain.

» running up the stairs to the second floor of the gym, you felt a shift in your step. head becoming dizzier than it was just 5 minutes ago. legs trembling, you started falling before feeling a presence behind.

» kita's arm wrapped around your waist, supporting you in efforts to not letting you fall over. "i told you to rest l/n san" kita said sternly. "you wont benefit anyone if you keep overworking like this."

» you knew kita was right, but you really didnt want to rest knowing you'll be letting the team down by not working hard.

» "i promise I'll rest as soon as im done with this one thing" pleading with kita. he let out a sigh, knowing you really wouldnt until you did finish so he allowed you to do so.

» finishing grabbing all of the dry jerseys and bringing them downstairs to pass out to everyone, you didnt really notice atsumu and osamu spiking volleyballs at each other until aran yelled

» "y/n! watch out!" honestly, you were too tired to move out of the way so you figured, it do be like that sometimes, and allowed the ball to hit you.

» or... so you had planned the ball to hit you.

» kita stood in front, blocking the impact of the spike that you had prepared yourself for. there was agitation in kita's eyes. more than you usually noticed when then twins were miss behaving. concern washing over, he looked you straight in the eyes

» "... is there something wrong kita san?" lifting up his hand to your forehead, he let out a sigh. "why didnt you tell me earlier you had a fever", then walking over to the coach meanwhile atsumu and osamu come over to apologise for being reckless.

» "get your stuff. we're going home" kita said bluntly.

» "huh? but practice is-"

» "please l/n san. for me"

» kita would only take yes for an answer this time. no if's ands or buts. so here you were, walking home with kita. only the sound of raindrops hitting your shared umbrella being heard.

» muscles starting to ache a little more and your legs becoming more tired than they were when you left the gym, you began to walk a little slower every step

» "get on my back l/n" "its ok kita san, i can walk. its already enough that you're walking me home" "i didnt ask if you wanted to. im telling you to"

» you couldnt tell if it was the fever that made your face warmer or if it was kita's words. nonetheless, you got on kita's back. he was a lot stronger than he looked and you couldnt help but stifen at being so close to your own crush like this.

» "relax. I'll make sure you get home." he reassured. you leaned into his back, warmth seeping in, your eyes began to feel heavy.

» "kita san" "yes?" "thank you for always watching out for me"

» a comfortable silence was met as the sound of rain filled your ears.

» "kita san" "hm?" "did you know..." your voice softened "i like you a lot kita san"

» did he hear you correctly? if he wasnt paying attention he wouldve missed what you had said, being drowed out through the pitter patter of water. now his heart thumping louder than ever before.

» "l/n san-" he was about to go on but was met with the gentle rise and fall of your chest and the soft snores of you on his back, knocked out from exertion. kita let out a light chuckle, finally relieved you were resting.

» you had missed the next day of school, but when you came back the whole volleyball team bombarded you with love.

» "WE'RE A FAILURE TO NOT NOTICE YOU FEELING SICK" atsumu cried. "how could we let our one and only precious manager get ill for taking care of us" akagi, clearly dissapointed in himself. "please let us know when we can take care of you too y/n" aran said.

» "its no big deal. really!" waving your hands in defense. "it was just a small cold. but i do have a question though"

» all the boys gathered around to hear what you had to say

» "how did i get home?? i really dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu"

» it shocked the guys honestly. you genuinely didnt remember a single thing due to your fever. "wait? you don't remember kita taking you home?" suna replied, your face becoming red. "k-kita san took me home-?" "yah. he left in the middle of practice to do so" osamu added.

» immediately, you got up to find the captain that apparently took you home the other day. he was in the storage closet cleaning and grabbing the equipment for todays practice.

» "kita san" "oh. l/n. glad you're feeling better" his smile brightened the musty closet. "about that, im sorry for troubling you and having you take me home the other day. i honestly dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu. my mind was really fuzzy that day, but im truly thankful for you going out of your way for me. it really means a lot"

» kita was dumbfounded. you really dont remember? "no need to apologize l/n. it was my responsibility as a captain. and afterall, what good would i be if i couldnt even take care of the person who means the most to me"

» your heart raced. 'person who means the most to me' ? cheeks blushing a rosy pink, you were internally thanking the musty store room from being dim.

» with arms full of equipment, kita walked by you and stopped.

» "by the way l/n san. did you know?"

» ears perking up at the vague yet familiar line

» "i like you a lot too l/n san"

» now we all know sakusa HATES germs and for the past week and a half, he's been telling you to keep up with washing your hands, wearing a mask at all times even when you eat omi it doesnt work like that. pls especially since you are prone to getting sick easily no matter how hygenic you are. your immune system just hated you. PERIODT

» you remembered sakusa scolding you for running out of hand sanitizer and then the next day you were out of commission. bed ridden with laryngitis, cough, slight fever, the whole works. it was like your body was making fun of you or something

» you texted komori, asking him to take notes in class for you and relay homework information while you were at home resting up. but there was one request you had and made komori PROMISE.

» DO NOT TELL SAKUSA YOU GOT SICK

» "he's probably gonna notice your absence y/n. he'll find out about it either way"

» "well if you dont tell him then he wont know. its not like he even cares about where i am like that"

» "thats what you might think. but i know he's gonna say something i can garuntee it"

» the next day at school, sakusa did notice your presence missing. it was quieter not having a 3rd person in the group of friends. not having you around to talk to him when komori was gone.

» pulling out his phone to text you, he asked where you were that day.

» "on a family trip :D !!! forgot to tell you, but I'll tell you all about it when i come back!" you wrote, attaching an old selfie of a different trip you went on to make it more believable.

» you had hoped this silly cold would get better in a day, but soon that day turned into 2 and then 3 and then 4... you pretty much missed the whole week of school at that point

» Friday rolled around and komori was on his phone all day. sakusa noticed his cousin fidget in his chair more than usual and it irked him to see him like that

» "what's with you today?" one eye raised, sakusa finally asked. "uhhh nothing really" komori wasnt very good at keeping secrets lets just start off with that, but he was trying his best.

» "well clearly somethings wrong. you're fidgeting." "well haven't you noticed somethings been different all week?" komori hinted

» sakusa sat there in thought. nothing's been different? he ate the same breakfast he usually does every morning. all his studies have been well. there were no tests this week so there was no reason to be anxious like komori was and even if there was, he would've done well anyways.

» "just tell me what it is." sakusa was starting to get annoyed. "y/n..." komori started. "y/n?" "do you know where she's been this week?"

» did you not tell komori about your family trip? you usually told komori everything, but then again you didn't tell him either until he asked you about it.

» "she said shes on a trip?" he nonchalantly said. komori's eyes started watering. "A TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL THATS WHAT IT IS" he blurted out. komori didnt mean to let it slip , he was just so worried about your well being.

» "hospital?? what are you talking about. did she get injured on her trip?" "no omi. shes been sick all week and her mom just texted me saying she went to the hospital today because shes had a fever for 3 days straight. there is no family trip"

» sakusa's heart shattered. you were sick and didnt even tell him?

» before both he and komori knew it, his legs were running faster to get to the hospital than he had ever imagined he could ever run.

» and there you were. fast asleep in a bed with an IV drip. your face flushed, forehead sweaty and shallow breaths escaping your chapped lips. you were a hot mess but sakusa didnt care. stepping to your bedside to greet your mother she explained to him that she had to go to work and asked if he could watch over you until she gets back.

» sakusa said yes without even hearing the whole thing. his heart and mind saying yes to whatever it took to get you to feel better.

» gosh how he hated hospitals, but what he hated even more was the fact that you were in the hospital and he didnt even know.

» the doctor came in for their evening round and ensured sakusa that you were indeed getting better! your fever had broken not too long ago and your body was working extra hard to heal itself up!

» "is there anything i can do to help?" sakusa asked. he felt helpless in this situation just watching your face distort in uncomfort every now and then, and coughing your lungs out.

» patting sakusa's shoulder, the doctor told him that just being here for you is enough. "you gotta be a strong boyfriend for her alright son? she'll be able to go home tomorrow first thing in the morning if her fever doesnt come back"

» sakusa slumped in his chair at your bedside, the doctors words ringing through his head. 'boyfriend huh?' he thought to himself. "if i was her boyfriend..." he whispered to himself, "i would be a failure for not even knowing my girl was sick..."

» to kiyoomi, you were beautiful. even now in this sad state you were in. deep down he locked these growing feelings he had for you inside of him because he always felt like you were a better match with someone else and after this stunt you pulled of lying to him about going on a family trip, it only made him feel worse.

» it was now night time and you finally began to stir in your sleep, the fever finally gone. sakusa reached out to move some hair that was stuck to your face, fingers tracing the outline of your jaw. your eyes slowly opened and met with his dark orbs.

» "y/n?" "saku- wait this is just a dream. omi wouldn't be here. he hates hospitals" you let out a forced laugh and then a sigh through your sore throat.

» you reached out to sakusa's hands that were resting on the side of your bed. "omi would never let me hold his hand because he'd say im passing germs to him so hopefully dream omi wont be the same" you were aimlessly talking to yourself, not even realizing that this really wasnt a dream.

» he squeezed your hand in return. hoping that you wouldnt let go any time soon. a funny smile appeared on your face just at the thought of him. "even if you're stupid for not realizing how much i like you... i cant wait to see you again omi" you whispered before falling asleep again.

» sakusa didnt know what to do. he sat there frozen in his chair. it was his first time hearing you call him omi. heck. you literally just confessed to the boy. his brain was running wild. groaning in distress he let go of your hand to step out for a breath of fresh air now that you were back asleep.

» it was 5am and your mother came back to the hospital and thanked sakusa for staying by your side. He left in a hurry to make sure you didnt see him there.

» Monday rolled around and sakusa was waiting outside of the school gates for you. he had planned on asking you about your "trip"

» "good morning sakusa!!" your bright and cheery voice rang through his ears. honestly he was trembling inside. the memory of you confessing to him still fresh in his mind.

» "how was your trip?" you stopped dead in your tracks. "haha... it was good !! sorry i forgot to get you a souvenir" you were trying to play it cool but sakusa could tell you were forcing yourself. "i wouldnt want a souvenir from where you came from so its fine" sakusa's words threw you off. "i - im not sure im understanding what you're saying sakusa?"

» you felt a tug on your hand. "dont you mean omi?" his voice husky as he whispered into your ear. cheeks flushed, your brain felt like it short circuted. you've always tried your hardest to not let it slip that you want to call him omi since he hated when people called him that.

» sakusa smirked at your cute reaction he got out of you. letting go of your hand he began to walk into the school leaving you at the gate dumbfounded. "and by the way. you're just as stupid for not realizing how long ive liked you too"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

thank you for your order! enjoy~!

[anonymous-swiftie]

If you are on twitter, please retweet this:

https://twitter.com/ASwiftie00/status/1334245577933148164?s=19

Dear #Swifties,

I'm new on tumblr, and I really don't know how to use it.

I know you are the best supporters of the music industry and I'm here to ask your help.

I'm fighting with a crippling depression, that due this covid situation just got worse.

I'm at my lowest, I truly don't know if I will make it through this time.

I always dreamed to talk to Taylor, since I was a teenager. She is the only one that make me feel like I do fit in this world.

I've created this account because I know she is very active here, and I'm trying to reach her with this part of my story.

You can read everything below.

I didn't write any personal information because I don't want this to be seen by my family or somebody that can recognise me.

I don't want upset anyone.

I know that everyone hope to meet or chat with her, and so you are probably wondering why you have to share this here.

You're totally right, maybe it's a stupid idea to ask you this, but I haven't anything left in my pocket to fight this situation, and you're my only hope right now.

Thank you.

#taylor #swift

*******************************************

Dear Taylor,

I keep writing and deleting this, over and over again.

I feel so dumb to write my personal story here, but this truly is my last chance to feel better and try to overcome this giant monster called depression.

I genuinly don't know if I can make it through this year. It's the worst period of my entire life and i don't even know if it's worth living this hell anymore.

I know you have millions of supporters (that probably write you every single day, and they are all better fans than I am, that's for sure) but I know that you proved, time after time, to be so down to earth and to use your time to read your fans messages.. so, in this moment, I'm just trying to share a part of my story with you.

You are the one that make feel understood, since I was like 13teen.

I'm so sorry if my English isn't very good but I'll do my best.

I'm not very active on social media , because I'm very shy when I have to talk about myself.. but If this could work, I must do it.

I will try to send a letter, If I can find the strength to mark this feeling on paper.

**IF I'M WRITING TO SOMEBODY FROM HER STAFF, PLEASE JUST LET THIS MESSAGE REACH TAYLOR**

I'll try now to resume, because I don't want to bother you too much.

This has been a crazy year so far, and the all the time I spent by myself during the lockdown didn't help at all.

This situation brought me back to childhood.

I spent a lot of my days back and forth in hospitals, due to my allergies.

I had to wear a mask all the time I wanted to go outside to avoid severe allergic reaction (that's why this Covid thing awakened some hurting memories)

I didn't have real friends back then, 'cause I've spent most of the summers at home, watching other kids playing around, from my window, or from the windows of my classroom.

It was so hard to make new friends, because the only thing that other kids saw was my mask.

I was the masked kid.

I was the strange kid.

I couldn't play with them.

Everytime I tried to play with them, the only thing I heard was "oh you are ill , I don't wanna be like you so stay away".

This situation made me start to write things in my personal diary.

I wrote small sentences, as a kid, and that was the only thing I could do alone inside an empty classroom during all summer.

This situation continued  for many years.

I wasn't the cool kid before, I wasn't the cool guy after.

The only things that let me enjoy those days were writing and listening to your songs.

I started to listen to your music thanks to my English teacher. She was a fan of folk and country music and she gave me a pic in which you were singing near a lake (I still have that photo somewhere, I strongly remember the white banner with your name written in red on it) and told me to listen to the cd she gave me that day.

I immediately fell in love (I think I still have a crush on you, I'm sorry).

I loved your album. I loved your voice. I loved the lyrics.

I remember having a "test" in school: each one of the class had to write their favourite lyrics and let the others guess the song.

If the someone guessed It, We could play the cd.

I chose Love Story and I translated it in Italian.

The class guessed the song, and I played it.

After the lunch break I went back to my desk and I saw some bullies that were breaking my cd-album and they started to laugh at me because I loved your music an I loved writing poems.

I was a boy so I was a loser because I enjoyed those things.

That felt terrible, but I continued to love your songs even more .

Those were my inspiration to write and to study english.

I felt so good when I listened to your album and this still happens.

Then I went to a private high-school.

Nothing changed, I still was the nerd guy that always got good grades and I have to say that the first year was quite good, but the second year was the start of the apocalypse.

I choose that school because two girls that I knew from childhood went there.

One of the cool new guys started to spread a fake "news" about me.

He said to everyone that I was the boyfriend of one of the two girls that I mentioned before.

So he was the cool guy and one of the girls believed him and told me to f*** myself.

The other girl was her best friend, so you could imagine by what happened next.

After 14 year spent together, I was nobody.

I didn't have "friends" in that class anymore.

I didn't say hello to anybody for 4 years, and nobody would say anything to me.

Nobody to talked with me.

That's great when you're a teenager.

I hated to wake up every morning.

I had an eating disorder, I lost like 22pounds in less than a month. Got hospitalized twice. I kept vomiting for 3 years, every single morning before school.

During that time I only talked with one of my cousins, who lived like 2 hours by car from me.

He was older than me but he always tried to help.

He knew that I loved to write poems so he started to give me guitar lessons.

I made it through a lot of things thanks to him.

I'm sorry, It's hard for me to write this part of the story.

I still get emotional when I think about this.

On the 10TH of December 2013 (some days after his birthday) we received a phone call from his mother: She warned us that he didn't return home after the last working shift.

I wrote a message to him like 3 hours prior to that phone call.

Never had the opportunity to get a reply again.

This year is the seventh year that he is missing.

That destroyed me.

I felt empty.

I felt like nothing couldn't help me.

I still feel that everytime I care about someone in my life, it will disappear someday.

This have happened several other times.

You know when ignorants say that men don't cry, is real bullshit. Men cry. I cried a lot.

I wrote so many poems , lyrics, thoughts in that period of time, that I destroyed my hands.

That was the only way to close my eyes and let me reach another reality because the real one was way too much for me.

Be a sensible man in this world is somehow a curse.

All these things made me afraid  even to hug someone 'cause I feel I'm too ugly or just to scared to be refused.

I will stop here my story, but there's so much more to tell.

I make it through all of these things and memories because I keep dreaming that one day I could meet you and we could talk together.

Dreaming about the fact I could spend a day with you made me find the power to battle my depression.

I'm 25 now and this year I'm not dreaming anymore.

I was going to start again university, I wanted to get a degree in marketing and have the chance to live in the us.

For years I believed that I would make it and hopefully be part of your marketing team.

I'm so stupid. All these years I kept dreaming to avoid pain.

I wanted to pursue my passion and continue to write lyrics but all I was doing was putting myself in unrealistic realities.

This covid situation made everything clear.

When everyone had someone to facetime (or video call) I was alone.

When everyone had someone asking them "how are you?" I only had myself looking in the mirror saying: "Will I ever feel better?"

I've never been the one for anybody, and I think I'll never be.

I won't be the one among all your fans to realize his dream.

Nobody likes me, and I'm exposing myself once again just because I want the opportunity to smile at something that could happen to me.

I'm tired to smile only for others best moments.

I've always seen the sun through a window.

I want to feel happy.

I want to burn my face with the sun.

I'm so sick of hiding my pain,

sick to cry when I'm alone in my car before going to work,

sick to let my eyes rain on my pillow every night.

I'm sick to say to my mother that I'm fine, just because I don't want to make her feel bad.

It's not her fault.

She is battling with a degenerative autoimmune disease, why I should put other weight on her shoulders?

I didn't give up to my weakness before because I don't want to hurt her.

I always say to her that soon she will feel better, that's why your song It's stuck in my head.

But when she won't be here anymore, how I can go through all of that?

I don't even know if will ever get better for me.

Will this pain ever stop?

Sometimes it's so hard to live and so easy to die.

Hope that my dream to spend some time with you can become true.

Thank you for everything, you gave me the strength to go on for many years.. But this time is so hard to put on my armor and continue this battle.

But is this even worth if thy I try to surround myself with people and I always feel lonely?

D.

@taylorswift @taylornation @jackleopards-thedolphinclub

[valeskakingdom]

Request

Could I request a part 3? Jerome keeps the reader as his hostage for popularity and attention. Reader is really fond of the attention she gets as well and eventually sleeps with Jerome again? In the end she sees how Galavan kills him and is really sad?

Requested by @violentvaleska

So guys, here's part 5!!

Credit gif: @jokersbabe27

Jerome x female reader (part 5)

Warnings: mentions of violence and murder, depression

Word count: 3378

*Later that day at the charity*

"Already excited for my show, doll?" Jerome grinned through his magician costume. you hated that costume. It hid Jerome's beautiful face with a shitty beard, his hairs were under a stupid wig and a black cylinder. And that tuxedo...gosh, you hated it thought not as much as the wig or the fake beard. The worst on it was his name...'Rodolfo'. You were disgusted by that name.

No magician in that universe would ever call himself like that! It sounds so ridiculous!

"Of course! Though I already know you'll be amazing as always." You smirked pressing a kiss on his cheek "Give them the best show they've ever seen!"

"That ain't be a problem for me" Jerome grinned "Even Hundini wouldn't have seen such a great show." You giggled at his comment.

"Without further ado, please allow me to present you the Great Rodolfo!" Immediately, Jerome walked on stage, everyone was applauding - even you. You were excited for how he was acting as a magician. Of course, you knew he was doing it well anyway. Jerome was professional. He could play every role in this Earth perfectly!

"Ha! Greetings ladies and germs," Jerome walked on stage "I am indeed the Great Rodolfo! Please ogle my lovely assistant. Ohh, for my first act, I'll require a volunteer. Let me see. Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, goose!" Jerome pointed at Bruce Wayne, the richest orphan in Gotham that was hated by every villain - really, everyone wanted to kill him.

"Hello, young man. Does this handsome gentleman have a name?" You heard Jerome saying after she went out to the crowd to bring him back.

"Bruce." The boy responded.

"Bruce! Well, Bruce. This won't hurt a bit." He clapped two great blades together "Is there a doctor in the house?"

Jerome sticked one of the blades in the box along with the other one. The audience gasped, them applauded him.

While watching you were astonished about Jerome's well, acting. Nobody noticed it was him. Neither Bruce nor the other guests recognized anything. Almost unbelievable for you.

"Some people say Bruce has a split personality." Jerome laughed loud while Barbara brought the little kid back to his actual place "For my next illusion, I'd like to call to the stage esteemed Deputy Major Harrison Kane."

Barbara pushed a rolling table, covered with a tarp, forward that it stood in front of Jerome. She pulled the tarp back and you could see any kind of knives laying down there. You were thinking about what was coming next. Is Jerome still playing with him or is he about to kill that guy?

Barbara bended down making the others noticed the next illusion was incoming. But a mistake happened, her mask fell down.

They're fucked!! You thought panicking. If anyone of the guests recognized them, they all would have a big problem. People would call the police, others die, the police finds you and eventually become informed about Theo, as well.

But Barbara kept being professional. Nobody made a move to start panicking or to call the police. Everything stayed normal.

"By the way, nobody is getting out here alive." At first the crowd laughed because they thought he was just joking - of course, he did not. Jerome killed the Deputy and the gunfire started. People were screaming and hiding in hope they weren't the next victim.

You flinched a little in surprise, although you might have expected it. Who would Jerome not kill expect you? He killed his mother, now the Deputy Major...it was just a matter of time to see who was his next victim.

For you, that all was pretty exciting, but also a big feeling of unpleasantness came over you. This situation reminded you of the day Jerome kidnapped you. You had flashbacks. You fear, you uncomfortableness, the nervousness, the wish to go home...everything came back - you knew best how the victims felt right now, and.

And as the last time, something told you that this situation wouldn't turn out well.

You wanted to be with Jerome right now. You just wanted to hug him, you wouldn't care whether he liked it or not, you just needed it.

But you couldn't go to him. You promised him to stay backstage to watch his marvellous show. And you knew, as everyone else knew what would happen if you broke the promise. His mood would change again and you needed to see whether it would turn out well for you or not.

You just stared at your lover. Finally he took the cylinder from his head as the wig, his black mask and the beard. Finally he presented himself again. You couldn't help but smile. You saw him being excited, being happy. He was the star in the show as he was the boss. You loved to see this: him standing there calm and managing everything while around him was pure chaos.

He was so professional you thought.

Out of nowhere, another woman was brought on stage, it was Lee Tompkins.

She was handhuffed, her gaze expressed fear and panicking.

They probably have taken her from behind as she was about to call the cops to tell what was going on.

You saw Jerome gazing at her with a smile - immediately, you hated her. You hated how you Jerome looked at her, how he smiled at her. It looked the same as every time he was smiling at you.

"Hey, darling" You felt shivers down your spine and jealousy came over you as he said that, you hated when Jerome was acting kinda flirty with other women. You always got the feeling they'd be much better than you but you also that your thoughts are wrong "I need to borrow your phone for a moment. We wanna tell Jimbo how the show's going on, don't we?"

And so he called him:

"Sorry Jimbo, it's just little old me!" He said nothing for a moment, then "Are you outside? You are, aren't you?" He cackled" Oh, goody!"

"Breathe, James. I haven't touched a hair on your girlfriend's pretty head." See for yourself. This is live television after all." You heard Jerome laughing after he responded to 'Jimbo'.

Then Jerome and Barbara tied Lee up on that big wheel pretending to shoot her head. It was all to entertain the crowd, to make them love. No one loved though - besides you. You loved their show. It entertained you and you loved to see your lover in action.

"True, but not the point. Hey, let's talk about what I want." Jerome walked down the stage closer to the camera "$47 million, a helicopter, obviously, the dry cleaning I left at Mr. Chang's be careful, the man is a crook, and mm, I don't know, a pony. Uh, you got ten minutes or I start killing people. Remember this is being broadcast to every home in Gotham, so, don't let people die. Bye!" Jerome laughed into the phone as he hung up "I think that went well." Jerome looked at you giving you a wink with a smile.

"Enough! You need to pack up your pathetic little sideshow and leave!" You suddenly heard Theo yelling from the other side of the stage. You were confused. What was he doing here? He told them to do this! Or did this still belong to the show?

"Is that right?" Jerome asked with a smirk.

"It may be presumptuous to speak for all citizens of Gotham. But we are sick of you! You're a small, vicious man with a pathetic need for attention. Enough man, for God's sake, enough!"

You were even more confused about Galavan's words. Something was in the bush. In his tower he spoke in high claims of Jerome that he was the star in the show, that he trusted Jerome most that he'll do it. What was wrong now?

"I'm curious what your leverage is here, Mr.?"

"Theo Galavan"

"Well, Mr. Theo Galavan, if you don't sit down, uh, I'm gonna shoot you. In your face."

"I know there is some human decency left in you. If you need a hostage, take me. But let these people go home! To their families, to their children." Before Theo could continue his speech, Barbara knocked him out with a some kind of pan. You giggled for yourself, almost laughed loud. It looked so stupid for you how he fell on the ground. It was like in a real blockbuster.

"Boring" Barbara stated.

"Right" Jerome cackled loudly, then he made his way to you with a big grin in his face. Automatically you grinned, too.

"How do you like the show doll?" Jerome grabbed your hands and pulled you close to him. You felt a slightly blush spreading over your cheeks as he pressed his lips against yours. His hands grabbed your cheeks softly to intense the kiss.

"I love it! It's very exciting" You grinned wrapping your arms around his neck while he wrapped his arms around your waist "But I'm much happier about you not wearing this cruel costume anymore. It covered your face, I hated it."

Jerome just chuckled about your comment and kissed your forehead.

"I have an idea," You just raised your brows looking at him in interest "Wanna be the star in my show?"

"Of course I do!" You smiled wide before he pressed his lips against yours quickly, then you both walked out. Gasps filled the room, all eyes were on you. They all knew who you were. You were the missed girl everyone was looking for. They either thought you were dead or that you were left at a lost place. But now you stood there - healthy, happy, self-confident.

"I know what you all think: That's (Y/n)! What is she doing here?! Where has she been?! I tell you all a secret: She was with me all the time." Jerome grabbed your face soft making you giggle "She's gorgeous, isn't she? Always has a pretty smile in her face."

Barbara pulled a next man up on stage positioning right in front of you and handed you a gun. Then she placed an apple on the man's bald.

"You know how to hold a gun, doll?" Jerome grinned wrapping his arms around you from behind. You felt his lips and his warm breathe touched your cheek. It was giving you chills in arousal.

"I'm not that stupid, Jerome." You made sure the gun was loaded. You positioned yourself to keep stable and pointed the gun at the apple. That was what Barbara and Tabitha have taught you over the days you were at Galavan's.

The man in front of you was shivering with wide eyes, his sweat was dripping down his forehead. His eyes expressed fear and you could see he wished you didn't kill him.

"Hold very still." Jerome growled at the man, then he covered his eyes with one hand "I can't look! Someone tell me how it turns out."

You inhaled deeply and concentrated on the apple. But as you pulled the trigger, just water came out and splashed into the old man's face. At that moment, you thought that Jerome jerked you around with tell you time the star.

Jerome just sighed in annoyance grabbing your gun and gave you a new one assuring you that he didn't know the gun was fake.

"Damn! Turn around." The man looked at you in fear and turned around. With his eyes he literally begged you not to shoot or at least to hit the apple. He was about to stop moving as you shot the apple from his head. The crowd gasps in shock and relief that the guy wasn't dead yet.

"Whoo!" Barbara cheered happily. You knew she was proud of you that you didn't blame yourself and missed the apple. You were proud of yourself, too. You shot without hesitation, not even thinking of missing the apple and accidentally shoot the guy.

Every one else kept quiet tho.

"Well, clap!" Jerome shouted kinda aggressively to the crowd - then they did it. Nervously and fast. He laughed slightly pressing a kiss on your cheek "Well done, doll."

"Thank you, Jerome." You grinned. He took the gun out of your hands and placed it on the table with the knives. Then he kept staring at them for a while, you could see he was thinking about something.

"Do you know how to use a knife? Just wondering." Jerome smiled at you.

Before you could answer though, you saw Lee kicked Barbara in the stomach making her grunt.

As Barbara looked up at Lee, you could see fury was written in her face. She was angry, mad...these words just described a very small part of her feeling. It was incredible how much hate a person could express.

You looked at Lee. You could see she didn't give a fuck about her consequences.

"Haven't been ten minutes," Jerome hissed holding Barbara's arm tight that she was unable to stab Lee "We need to buy you a watch." Soon as Jerome turned around back to you Barbara punched Lee in her face. The crowd and you all gasped in surprise. Jerome instead, just looked at you shaking his head in disappointment what made you chuckle.

"Well, I think it's time for tonight's first official victim. You all know and love. Poor rich boy...Parents murdered in an alley, and my favorite volunteer: Where is Bruce Wayne?" Jerome claimed waiting for the little boy's appearance - he didn't come though. Everyone looked around for the boy hoping he would come. They, as you, knew what would happen if he did - someone will die.

"You know, I'm an orphan, too, Bruce? I killed my parents, though." Jerome spoke to the microphone, then stepped away from it "Where are you hiding?"

"Bruce!" Jerome screamed in anger making you flinch a little - you were always surprised about his temper. It came rapidly and was gone after a few seconds "Where are you buddy?!"

"That little kid's afraid of you, Jerome." You giggled wrapping your arms around his torso kinda in hope to calm him down a little. You had no idea his temper could ride that fast. "Give that boy some time to realize how much fun he's gonna have with you."

"We don't have time, right now. We have a plan to follow." Jerome grumbled looking around for Bruce and slightly pushing you away from him. In your eyes, Jerome was  a mix of an infant and a monster or the evil itself. His impatience reminded you of a child that didn't get his will. And his eye expression expressed fury, evil and the strong wish to kill the kid. It was fascinating, and almost frightening.

"Kill his butler!"" Barbara suggested.

"Alright, last chance Bruce but it's about to get very butler-brainy out here." Jeromekept looking around. While that, some of Jerome's colleagues grabbed the butler's arms right pushing him forward to Jerome. He was an older tall man in a black tuxedo looking very concerned for the little boy - understandable.

"Brucey!" Jerome yelled looking through the crowd but the boy still didn't appear "I'm bored. Shoot the butler." Jerome turned to you with a grin, not even really paying attention to what was happening around him. He just wanted you.

"Stop!" Bruce claimed panicking and ran fast in front of the stage to his poor butler.

"Let's get this started, huh?" Jerome gasped pulling Bruce back while pointing a gun at his head "You! Check behind the curtain! Make sure no one's playing silly buggers"

One of Jerome's colleagues nodded and walked to the curtain. He moved it aside the entrance,  he got shot.

"Drop the knife!" James Gordon shouted pointing a gun at Jerome, but he just laughed and pressed the young Bruce Wayne in front of his body, a sharp blade was pressed on his throat almost cutting his thin skin.

"I don't have a clean shot!" Gordon shouted.

"Stay calm, Bruce." The butler tried to encourage the little boy after he took a gun, as well, pointing it at Jerome. He totally ignored what Gordon said. His mind was all around Bruce.

"It seems like we've got ourselves a pickle." Jerome stopped laughing but pressing a knife against Bruce's throat. "What do you say Brucey boy? Wanna boost our ratings, huh?" Jerome cackled insanely again "Smile."

"I said enough!"  All of a sudden Theo appeared behind Jerome. He looked mad, very mad. Again you got that feeling of uncomfortableness. And again you got that feeling that something bad will happen now. You saw it on his gaze. This devilish grin. Something was in the bush.

And you weren't wrong. Shortly after Jerome turned to him slowly, Theo stabbed a knife into his neck.

Everyone gasped in shock, you were the loudest though. You heart dropped, you couldn't move for the moment, your legs became weak, cat got your tongue - you weren't able to breathe normal. You felt poor as you stared at Theo's hand that pressed the knife in Jerome's throat deeper and deeper - and that all right in front of you. Your whole body shivered, you were about to throw up every minute.

Tears built up in your eyes and some even streamed down your cheeks. This couldn't be real, this mustn't be real! You couldn't loose him, not now, not again, not forever.

Things have happened not quite perfect and you were mad at him, you didn't want to be with him, you even hated him for a moment, you were afraid of him... everything. You could say for one moment he was your biggest fear in your life because you were scared he'd kill you every minute, or every time you did something wrong. But that faded, it was forgiven, your love was refreshed. It was stronger than the night you two met for the first time. Your connection was stronger than ever before - you knew you belonged together. Why else did fate decide to let you two meet again? Why else would you fall for him again? Why else did he all you his doll, his girl, his queen? That weren't just words...it was more, a lot more.

You knew Jerome couldn't show love as usual people did, but you knew he loved you. His soft side towards you, him trying to make you smile, him protecting you when Greenwood teased you or harassed you..,that was all real. He didn't act at all!

All the memories came up. His smile, how you two hold a conversation for the first time at the circus, you felt the warmth on you hand again when you remembered how he held your hand. You could feel his arms wrapping around your body, and you could hear him calling you 'doll'.

And all this was gone forever now.

"I know, I know." He pressed Jerome down to the ground "Im so sorry, Jerome. You have real talent. But now you see, the plot thickens. Enter the hero." You saw Theo grinning slightly.

You could kill him for what he has done to him - and to you. He took all your joy away, he ripped your heart in two and three it away that it shattered in thousands of pieces. He had to die in your eyes. He just deserved it. You wanted revenge. You wanted to make him feel what he has done to you. You wanted to make him feel how you felt - sad, broken, shocked.

"I was gonna be.." With his last breath and his last courage, he looked up to you still having a grin in his face. His mouth opened shortly as if he was about to say something to you, but too late.

He was dead - dead as your happiness, your joy, you will to live. Your heart felt so heavy that every beating was exhausting you, as your breathing. The world was spinning around you. You body and your psyche couldn't handle what has happened just a few seconds in front of you.

He died, your love, your everything - your Jerome. And he will never come back.

And you died - inside.

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 12 "Dorkus"

"I think you did it."

"These morons need someone to tear them a new one."

"I am going to write the missive to end all missives."

"I don't want your first time to be with a murderer."

"I love you. I would never, ever hurt you."

"I promise you're safe. That was part of the deal."

"You could never be touched."

"How many lives could you have saved?"

"Our mission never involved killing anyone."

"And it's not just wearing raw chickens on their heads and calling each other gay slurs while jumping around naked."

"It was a conspiracy."

"Stop rationalizing it. You killed people. You are not allowed to just say, "yeah, but I had a super good reason for it."

"Who did you kill?"

"What, are you gonna kill me now?"

"I would never hurt you. I just can't let you leave."

"If you could just stop, hear what I have to say, to understand---please--why I did what I did, you could still love me."

"Don't try to justify it all after the fact."

"They showed up one day thinking that I was a double agent, that I couldn't be trusted. They were going to kill me."

"Hey, hey, you can trust me, you can trust me! Ask me and I'll do anything. I'll prove it."

"Don't you see that they did that on purpose?! They knew that if you actually killed someone, you would be their slave!"

"We were the good guys. We were in this together!"

"I did this for you. Don't you understand?"

"The more I hear about this whole thing, the more I'm starting to think the idea that there are good and bad people in the world is just something adults use to get children to stay in line."

"I mean, aren't we being naive?"

"You took me literally?"

"You are already a murderer, [NAME], you don't have to be a douche as well!"

"This is not a philosophy course. This is murder-- serial murder!"

"I was so young and desperate to be special and loved."

"I never had a real girlfriend before."

"I was vulnerable enough to share my darkest fetish with you, and now you're making me feel self-conscious."

"Just come in and take me now."

"You are ridiculously and laughably gullible."

"What self-respecting man wouldn't do anything to get revenge for being degraded like that?"

"Unfortunately, I don't have great aim with a crossbow and I can't see anything in that mask."

"I don't want to be here anymore."

"I feel sick. This isn't what I wanted."

"Don't judge me for what we both know had to happen."

"You know what? Let's just run away together. You and me. Forget everything."

"Don't you see what I'm willing to do for you?"

"No! I don't want to speak to your supervisor!"

"I've gotten zero swipes on my profile!"

"Do you remember any aspect of this super simple plan?"

"I literally think you should consider undergoing a surgical procedure to remove your ovaries/testicles, thereby sparing human race exposure to your DNA."

"I mean, I'm all for public shaming. I practically invented it. It's the sign of a healthy culture. But not when I'm the one getting shamed."

"I wanted to be famous, but not like this."

"To all the so-called mainstream media, including weird web sites that nobody has heard of who have used my name as clickbait, and to all the relentless unwashed hordes on Twitter, who have taken every opportunity to mock and attack me mercilessly from the safety of their stained futons, I offer the following heartfelt sentiment. You can all suck it!"

"Despite my outward bravado, I was dead inside."

"I knew my glamorous reign of terror was over."

"I ordered an asp online so I could kill myself like Cleopatra, and now I'm just waiting for it to sense my body heat and come out and bite me so this will all be over."

"I understand that what you're going through is really intense. And I know you and I haven't really always seen eye to eye, And you say crazy-mean stuff to me all the time. And I have a real problem with your casual racism,

which is something we need to work on. But, girl, I promise I got your back."

"You're young, smart and beautiful, and you got a lot of living ahead of you."

"Maybe this is one of those teachable moments, you know? Like my grandmama says. Maybe this is where you learn the lesson that words really mean something and they can hurt people, so you just can't always say the first horrible thing that pops into your head all the time."

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Get me out of this suit!"

"What the hell is going on? Who is that guy?"

"Everyone on campus but me is a dork!"

"I'm gonna explode."

"When I woke up, I was wrapped in dynamite!"

"Oh, my god, it's a bomb."

"Yes, a totally innocent man who seemed super nice and probably did nothing wrong at all just got blown up in our living room. Bummer. Now, let's honor his memory by moving on."

"Can you not make it about you for one second?!"

"Stop wallowing and start concentrating on what's really important here--restoring my reputation."

"I need to go on an apology tour. You know, like celebrities, when they say something offensive, they just go on tv and apologize, and everybody forgives them, even though they don't mean it at all."

"I'm gonna fake apologize, you'll record it, we'll post it online, and it'll all be fine."

"But I thought that you said that you weren't the person who put the acid in the spray tanner."

"Why do you think the devil let me live?"

"I think you saw what you wanted to see."

"You can't kill people from a loving and positive place."

"Invasion of the dad bod snatchers."

"If it's good enough for the CIA, it's good enough for me."

"Get ready to make the most important playlist of your life."

"Well, I decided to stop denying what you and I both knew the minute we laid eyes on each other. And once I did, something inside of me, I don't know, it just, just clicked. And I guess I just wanted to get a little crazy."

"So you just decided to break into my house in the middle of the day?"

"I've been a very bad boy."

"I'm just trying to figure out what your angle is. What are you trying to get out of this?"

"You know what I'm trying to get? 45 minutes alone, so I can go crazy on you."

"Turn out the lights!"

"These are my minions."

"Those are the hounds."

"How do you know I'm not the killer?"

"This whole file is made up."

"Somebody just swiped right on me on Tinder."

"Any guy swiping right on you is a miracle."

"You want a drag?"

"That was the best sex of my life."

"I think you're just relieved to find out that intercourse doesn't have to be followed by hours and hours of crying and a weird purchase of an engagement ring."

"Look, I never knew sex could be like that. At first, I was like, I was like, "wow, she's being really loud. Are the neighbors gonna call the police?" And then I was like, "wow, now I'm being really loud. why am I screaming so much? They're definitely gonna call the police." And then I was just stunned at how flexible you are. I mean, I thought you had to be a gymnast to get both feet behind your head."

"I just think that maybe you and I were meant to be together after all."

"I find her unbearably annoying."

"I recognized the island splash scent of that douche you use."

"What movie are you even referring to?"

"Don't patronize me. I look like a monster."

"Well, have you thought of a little plastic surgery?"

"What are you doing? I thought you came here to apologize."

"I apologize for nothing."

"All evidence points to you."

"I know it was you. Have fun in hell, bitch. And fyi, this is probably gonna hurt a lot."

"Stop recording!"

"I knew that bitch was a nut burger the minute I met her."

"But remember, she's armed and dangerous."

"Oh, please tell me you did not bring your insane and obviously blind Tinder hookup back here."

"I lost my virginity to a Nickelback song."

[profoundpidgeon]

✨Haikyu Headcanon(s) of the Evening! ✨

Author's Note: These are just lil' roomate headcanons I came up with cause I just wanted some so I decided to make some! Anyways this is a part 1 out of 2 (I think and hopefully) and as always I hope y'all enjoy! 😊 ~Pidge

Miya Atsumu:

• God this chaotic bastard where do I even start

• Well let's just say you were looking for a roomate and stuff and welp he took the opportunity and idk why but you accepted him (I guess he checked all the boxes for you congrats🎉🎉🎉)

• Now actually LIVING with him can either be a pain in the ass or quite enjoyable

• He gets up at a decent time, early for volleyball (maybe 7-8am) but SLEEPS IN when he doesn't have to go. (I believe like 2-3pm at times) one time you thought he was dead and almost called the hospital, he almost smacked you for that 🤣

• I see him as not being the apartment that often cause of volleyball but he'll be in the apartment just to chill or just to annoy ur ass if he's bored.

• HE WOULD LIKE TO HAVE DESINGNATED MOVIE NIGHTS!!! he also might invite ya know bo, hinata and sakusa but there's sometimes where he just wants to chill with u~

• I believe he's not really a good cook and you would have to make most of the meals or at least remind him to have a decent meal once in a while (if your not a good cook welp... y'all will suffer together I guess)

• He'd be snacking CONSTANTLY I👏SWEAR👏 (This is why ya gotta remind him to have decent meals all the time). I mean there will be nothing in your pantry. It's a literal compition that he wins most of the time to who gets the last packet of pocky. Smh 😑

• I feel like his room would be half messy and half not? Like there would be clothes on the floor but he would make sure to make his bed and his dresser would be a bit messy but not too messy. (Ya know? I hope you get it cause I'm not changing it)

• Please give this man the head pats before volleyball practices (he'll find it cute and if you look close enough you might see him ~blushing~)

Bokuto Koutorou:

• YES ITS TIME FOR MY FAVORITE HIMBO!!! god I LOVE him

• Such a caring man AND WITH SO MUCH RESPECT WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE HIMMM

• anyways

• I hope y'all were friends before you decided to move in together PLEASE SAY YOU WERE (well too bad, I'm the writer, you got no choice in the matter)

• He takes afternoon naps... end of headcanons (no but really when u come back from school or work and he's home before you, you can sometimes hear a soft snore from the couch and you just decide to put a blanket on top of himmm)

• On the contrary of Atsumu, I think he'll be a great cook! I think he'll know how to make 3-4 meals very VERY well and present them to you and be so proud of them. He'll puff out his chest and everything (gosh he's making me so proud just writing this)

• He might once in a while ask you politely if his friends can come over and might borrow the apartment for a while (you'll be out till they leave but hopefully you don't mind)

• If he comes home and he's in his emo mode, you either 1. Call Akaashi or 2. Make him soup and build a blanket fort (it will either be chicken noodle or just some comforting soup... anything to get this baby happy again 😊😊😊)

• This may or might catch you off guard (depending on how close y'all get) but he may ask for random hugs. Just for the sake of it and because I believe he's touch starved and craves physical affection.

• Even tho I said before that he might politely kick you out if he wants to have the home/apartment for the bois, at least PLEASE have some games of chaotic Jenga with them like COME ON (I play chaotic Jenga with my friends all the time and hoooo boi)

• Like Atsumu, he deserves the head pats too! I believe there will be a lot of physical touch/affection in your relationship and it's just so sweet! GAH Y'ALL ARE ADORABLE!

• Anyway, Bokuto Koturou would make a great roomate... MOVING ON

EDIT: Damn I forgot to add that he'll probably join in if you decide to paint your nails. Alright now let's continue!

Sakusa Kiyoomi:

• ngl idk how you became roomates with him but congrats 👌👌👌(I guess by pure chance I guess??? ) anyways...

• Y'all would have assigned cleaning chores of course. If you're having a bad day or not feeling good, he wouldn't mind doing your chores for you and taking care of you.

• Ya know I feel like just doing a puzzle with him so y'all might have some puzzle nights and try to challenge yourselfs after each one you complete.

• LOVES TEA. Will recommend tea and different types of tea to you. Will bring different types of authentic teas into ur apartment and y'all can rate teas together! 🍵🍵🍵

• Not that affectionate but will accept words of affirmation. Really does appreciate a 'thank you' and a genuine compliment once in a while.

• Will remind you to wear a mask outside ALWAYS, he doesn't want you to get sick what can I say?

• Even if it might not look like it, Sakusa does care about you. He will give you those gentle reminders to drink water and eat everyday, say lil' thank yous' here and there and genuinely respects as a person.

ANOTHER EDIT CAUSE I CAN'T CONTAIN MYSELF APPARENTLY: But ALL of them would in some way sing in the shower:

Atsumu and Bokuto just BELTING without any care or regret (especially bokuto, some of you've seen tiktoks)

And I feel like for Sakusa he would either silently hum or either have a mini conversation with himself (like a lil' podcast or somethin' 😂) ALRIGHT IM DONE IM DONE

Another author's note: This already seems romantic but I meant it in a platonic way. When I make both parts keep in mind the the relationship is platonic! (Don't worry I might make a part where they go from roomates to lovers if I can gather the brain power 😂)

ANOTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE! :

https://profoundpidgeon.tumblr.com/post/642970351801958400/haikyuu-headcannons-of-the-evening

HEY LOOK! I MADE A PART 2! I hope y'all enjoy! 💖💕💖

[youwontlikethisblog]

Hey! I just wanted to update y'all, I'm alive.

Thanks to God my family and I didn't get severely sick with covid. However my dad(got tested for covid came out negative), my mom, and younger brother now have a cold, yay!(not) It really boggles my mind how we used to go out without masks during cold and flu season. I used to quarantine myself back when I'd get the flu or a cold because I just hated the idea of getting a loved one sick, even though they weren't high risk for the flu.

I've got a lot of opinions on Covid but I think I can say for all of us that one of the reasons we get on social media is to just numb out from what's going on in the real world so for now I'll say: People, please wear your mask, be it surgical or respirators, please wear them, properly, and take care of them(even if mask mandates are being lifted, you could save someone's life).

I've been writing a lot more, which I had forgotten how much I loved. It's been helping me escape the funk I've been since getting sick.

I guess since I use this blog to also vent out my thoughts I should also mention that nearly every week I have had near attempts or attempted to exit my life movie. No one aside from my parents, and three friends know and it's kind of bizarre. Every other day I think to myself "Wow I shouldn't be watching this tiktok, I was almost gone. What would life be, had I?" and it's like living in this world of every day is a brand new day and I should celebrate it but I still feel empty inside and don't know what I should celebrate.

It's funny, or ironic, a few years ago, I might have actually done it but these past times every time I've been close to it something manages to pull me away from that ledge. I truly believe a strong relationship with God is what helps pulls us out of our darkest moments(I know, you may ask if that's true then why does God cause suffering? The short answer to that is that God doesn't cause suffering and if you want a long answer I'm more than happy to explain it(I've studied it)). I didn't hear a voice, no angle or light appeared before me or anything like so many people say. I've had near death experiences, I've attempted in the past and not one of those was "an angle of God or Gods voice spoke to me." it's hard to word and hard to explain but basically my faith, in a better future where I won't have to deal with what I do, and how God has helped me so much throughout my life, helped me be able to be rational. In a moment when I had no rational thought in me, his promises were my rational voice.

It's weird too because I thought about texting a really good friend of mine about it but I felt like it had been years since I had been in a crisis like that that I would be interrupting her life and worrying her. I thought about texting my ex-bst(We've sort of mended things and talk now) but I didn't want her to think I was doing it out of guilting her or looking for her pity so I didn't tell her and I didn't want to worry my parents at all. Isn't that funny? While I was drowning in this sea of sorrow, I was too worried about how everyone else would feel regarding what I felt. A part of me says "wow how selfless of me" and another "how self-absorbed are you?". Mental illness is engulfing and I don't think people understand how paralyzing it is.

When you're in a crisis and you've learned or trained yourself to think "I don't want attention for this because it's not that bad, I don't have it as bad." you don't reach out to your safety net and especially when three years prior to that you pushed everyone away. So yeah, I can say with true conviction that I didn't pull myself away from that ledge. It was God and every day since, he still continues to be the voice of reason in me.

I'm alive, trying, to live each day. If not, survive each hour.

Sorry that I haven't posted any YSBLF content. This isn't my typical depressive episode.

[sea-side-scribbles]

Behind The Mask

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34851811/chapters/91842601

Chapter 15 (FINAL)

After running a few steps, Nick suddenly stopped. “Where are we going?”, he asked, gasping for air. Also Morrie was a bit out of breath after all that fuss, but he kept his grace when he asked: “Really, Nick? You didn't plan this out?” Nick turned his head, eyes full of hope. “You're saying...you want that date?” Morrie faced him. His expression was soft. “Yes, I do”, he said tenderly. Nick beamed with joy. “I know a good restaurant nearby...” “Then let's go there. All that excitement made me hungry.” Nick felt the same.

“You...uh...want to change first?” He pointed at the fancy rags the other man was wearing. “Ah, well...” Morrie removed the wig and pulled the fake moustache from his mask. “That should do.” “You look smashing in frills, Morrie-dear.” “Nah”, the pianist waved him off. “Not as good as you.” Nick was delighted about the compliment. Usually, Morrie wasn't keen on Nick Lightbearer's wardrobe. A short time later, they sat in a small but fancy restaurant close by the high coast.

“I can't believe you did this for me, Morrie”, Nick said quietly after they had placed their orders. When the tension in his body faded, he began to see the previous event from another perspective. “I can't believe it either”, Morrie replied. “It should've ended in disaster, exposing myself to your fans like that. I was afraid they'd slaughter me when I present them the 'real' Nick.” “I gave you a fit occasion. I got almost chased out as a Downer because of my new songs. I'm hopelessly soppy.” Nick shook his head. “I liked it”, Morrie answered. “Much better than your flirt with the host.” “Uh...that was only common courtesy.” “U-hu? She flattered you alright.” “Oh, Morrie, she doesn't mean anything to me”, Nick said with emphasis. “But I had to hide that I was already fed up with it all before it even started. You have no idea how sick I was.” “Actually, I think I can...That's why I'm here...” Nick smiled. “You gave me quite the turn...” Morrie chuckled. “You're welcome.”

“I panicked: Who's that guy? Why does he know all that about me? What does he want from me?” “Just teaching you a lesson...” Nick sighed. “You achieved that. You're something, Morrie. Hanging about in little pubs, hiding behind music sheets for years and then boom!” He snapped his fingers. “You deliver a show like that! You're quite charming if you want to be. There's no one else like you.” Morrie scratched his arm, averting his gaze. “I think I received more compliments in the last two weeks than in all those years with The Make Believes...” “So they were worth it?”, Nick asked quietly. “They changed me, I guess....” Morrie wiped his neck. “I mean, I could've sent you to that date...and waited it out...” “I'm glad you didn't! I don't want to date anyone else any more!” “I suddenly felt like giving you a scare.” “Oh, Morrie...”

“I have to admit I didn't do this just for you. The image of you spending a night with a fan...” He sighed. “I was jealous.” His confession sent a wholesome shiver down Nick's spine. “You mean...I still matter to you?” Morrie searched his eyes again. “You really changed...A few days ago I wouldn't have believed...our first encounter in the hotel...” Nick blushed. “Please, forget that! It was awful! I was awful and I took it out on you! I was so ashamed right after! It hurt to remember us...remember what I destroyed!” “I wonder, were you so ashamed that you needed a disguise to meet me again?” Now it was Nick who avoided his gaze. “I was afraid it would end in another fight...Or I'd say something awful again...I couldn't bear to see the disgust in your eyes, Morrie. I needed a new chance...I really thought I'd reach you like that...” He blinked. “Gosh, I'm turning Downer again...”

Morrie's hand touched his arm. Nick looked up, relieved to find no signs of anger in the other man's eyes. “It's okay, Norbert...It's okay...You've never been the type for easy solutions...” A thankful smile flashed over Nick's face. “Whenever I needed a sensible plan, I asked you...” “But too much sanity is boring. This evening was the best I had in years. It's all because of you.” Nick still smiled, speechless with joy. “Now let's enjoy our salmon before it gets cold”, Morrie concluded. Nick answered with a nod and began to eat. In the presence of Morrie, everything tasted better.

After a while, he noticed the other man gasped quietly. “Something wrong?” Morrie gulped and reached out for his glass of wine. “Just had to think of the poor sod that got a plate full of fish-bones smacked in his face.” They started to giggle. “He didn't deserve any better”, Nick defended himself. “I think your life had been more turbulent than mine.” “Although I can't remember half of it.” “Perhaps that's for the best...” They laughed again. It felt so good to laugh together. Nick loved to see Morrie cheerful. Morrie however found Nick's laughter very attractive.

When they had finished and Nick paid the bill, Morrie became aware that this had been a date. Being taken out, courted even, the way Norbert had done it in the past, feeling loved...Now Morrie was fighting back tears.

They left the restaurant, both deep in thoughts. Nick was gleaming with joy, which in turn affected Morrie, who realized he had underestimated what he meant to the rockstar. “It was a wonderful evening, Norbert. Thank you”, he whispered sometime. “I have to thank you, my hero. You saved me”, Nick purred. “Good night, Norbert”, Morrie went on. Nick realized that the date was over and suddenly felt weighted down. “Can I come to the bar again?” “Yes. I'll tell Murray to lift the ban.” “So...until tomorrow, then?” “Yes. Until tomorrow.” Nick's look was pleading. Unwittingly, Morrie stepped closer and a second later, Nick had wrapped his arms around him. Morrie froze, but nothing happened other than Nick tightly hugging him. It felt like a desperate embrace. Morrie tenderly stroked his back, waiting patiently. When Nick let go, his face was wet.

Something crossed Morrie's mind. “I forgot to thank you for telling me about the contest.” “But...I...I had to. You don't need to thank me for this.” “After everything that happened, I don't take it for granted.” “Right...” Nick hung his head, sadder than before. “It was meant to be a compliment”, Morrie explained sheepishly. “I wish I was better at this...I used to pick at you because I thought you're as reckless as always. But you're not. You would've kept it as a secret otherwise.” Nick's face lit up again.

“Have a good sleep, okay? You deserve it”, Morrie said, sounding almost like Virgil. “You too”, Nick whispered and Morrie was sure he'd have it. Morrie left and Nick sighed loudly when he turned the corner and disappeared.

The next day, Morrie visited the hotel manager in his office. “Hello Morrie, you wouldn't believe what happened yesterday!”, Murray greeted him with his usual bustle after a Lightbearer-show. “This guy sticks to no agreements! That contest became a spontaneous concert and now I have a pile of complaints about noise annoyance on my desk. But that's enough about me – how are you?” Morrie didn't show any sings of stress. “I'm here to thank you...I spoke to Nick, and...” He reddened under the mask. “You can let him into the bar again, he's not a bother any more...” The manager leaned back in his chair, eyeing Morrie with a mixture of relief and amusement. “Nick Lightbearer and you...Who would've guessed?” Morrie clasped his hands. “He changed...I'm giving him a chance...” “I'm happy to hear that, Morrie...”, his friend said dearly. “I wish you all the best.” “Thank you...” The other man gulped.

“I'm happy for me, too”, Murray joked. “Will he behave from now on?” “I'll do my best,” Morrie said with a shy grin. “Does he listen to you?” “Er...He does at times...I have to make sure he stays sober, then it'll be easy as cake.” “You poor thing. What did I get you into?” They laughed heartily. When they fell quiet, Morrie eyed his clasped hands. “Wish me luck, Murray...” “All the luck in the world. You deserve someone who's good to you. Let him spoil you for once, okay?” Morrie smiled. “You bet. And if he's making any trouble, tell me, I'll teach him manners.” “Alright, that's fine with me.”

In high spirits, Morrie went on stage and played, searching the bar with his eyes now and then because he longed to find a familiar face.

Nick had a pleasant morning. He woke up late, made coffee in his suite and then he had all the time in the world to sip it and think of Morrie. Later, when he was about to get bored, his manager paid him a visit. “Nick, my golden boy! You nailed it again! And you had me worried!” He gave his star a slap on the back that made him slump forward. “I still have it in me”, Nick praised himself, sitting up. “What about Morrie? Is he...?” “He's alright..He's just wonderful to me...”, Nick said and sighed. He eyed the manager who sat down next to him. “Virgil, could you imagine us...perform again?” “You and him? Together?”, the man asked, lifting an eyebrow. “Yeah...if he's comfortable...” “Did you ask him yet?” “Uh...not yet...But we kinda did perform already after the contest...And it was purely magical! Our bond is so intense again! If he feels the same, then....I'll go ask him today.”

Virgil pondered. “Well, if it's not about ruining your reputation and calling you a liar...” “No, it's not that. We'll have a fresh start if Morrie wants it.” “Huh...Morrie Memento...” Virgil shook his head. “Seems to have a comeback too. That article about him...You don't happen to have something to do with it?” Nick gave him an innocent look. “Maybe...” Virgil eyed him. “Will I ever know what you did with these clothes I gave you?” “Maybe.” Nick answered with a grin. “Trust me a little, Virgil.” His manager's expression softened. “Alright...Just tell me if there's news about Morrie, so I can arrange that.” “Sure”, Nick said quietly.

“And thank you”, he added when Virgil got up. His manager turned around again. “For what?” “For everything...” Nick shrugged. He made Virgil smile. “No, I thank you. I didn't think you'd come back like that. I'm glad I was wrong.” “You chose the best for yourself.” “That I did...” When Virgil had closed the door behind him, Nick sighed and yearned for the evening.

When the time had finally come and Nick set foot into the bar again, he nervously looked around, checking if the staff got the news. As always, Morrie had kept his promise. No one attacked him and he could freely choose a table. He had denied himself the wig and the moustache again, because people left him alone like this and of course Morrie liked him better this way. Full of anticipation he could barely listen to the pianist's play. His thoughts kept drifting away to the adventure that had brought him here.

With the memories came doubts. What if Morrie didn't really forgive him? It could be a game he played for revenge. He could easily break his heart just as he had broken Morrie's. Tonight Morrie could tell him that it had been just a cruel joke.

Nick watched Morrie who looked all vivid and happy. He wouldn't play such a game, right? Wasn't he happier than ever before?

Whatever, Nick had to wait. He had brought some pencil and paper, just in case he could turn some of his feelings into lyrics. He wrote down a few words that rather incoherently spread out onto the paper before he began to doodle.

Finally, the waiters began to clean the tables. Nick intended to wave at Morrie, but the other man already looked at him. He passed by the chattering staff and came to a halt in front of Nick's table. Nick noticed how Morrie eyed his features. “Hello Norbert”, he greeted him quietly. “Nice to see you.” “Hey, Morrie. Good to be here again”, Nick sighed. “Indeed.” Morrie sat down. “Can I offer you a drink this time?”, Nick gestured towards a bottle of wine he had ordered shortly before closing time. Conveniently, he had ordered two glasses as well.

“Yes, please”, Morrie answered and Nick served him. Holding his glass, the pianist asked: “What do we toast to?” Nick picked up his glass and drew it near Morrie's while he thought about it. “To the best Nick-Lightbearer-Lookalike in Wellington Wells”, he then offered. Morrie's laugh was music in his ears. “I guess this will never leave me.” The pianist looked meek. “You were smashing!”, Nick praised him. “I actually thought you were me!” “Oh, dear...I hope this never comes out...” Morrie shook his head. “Morrie Memento gambling for a date with his worst enemy...” He paused, wishing he had phrased it differently.

“Am I still your worst enemy?”, Nick asked quietly. “No...I shouldn't have said that....” “I was...”, Nick stated what Morrie didn't dare to say. Then he sighed. The glasses still floated in the air. “Let's toast to our fresh start?”, he suggested instead. “To forgiveness of old sins?”, Morrie added. “Yeah...”, Nick said. “If you can forgive me.” As an answer, Morrie let his glass touch Nick's. They quietly clinked. Nick had goosebumps when he raised the glass to his mouth and took a sip. Actually, he was too shaken to get anything down.

“Morrie...there's something I want to ask you...”, he began, slightly wincing. “When we played the song yesterday...did you like it? Would you do that again?” Morrie put his glass down. “Did you like it?”, he returned the question. “Yeah, a lot”, Nick answered without hesitation. “I missed it...” “Are you sure about this? You'd have to share your fame with me and you wouldn't be as free as you are now.” “I'm not free! I have to deal with a lot of stuff I don't like. But you and me, I want that! I'm ready to give it a try!” “I believe you, Norbert”, Morrie said calmly. “But let's be smart about this. I was alone for a long time, too. We might need some time to get used to everything.” “I wasn't happy alone...”, Nick admitted. Morrie nodded. “I know...” He took another nip of wine. “I'd be happy to have more shows like these.” Nick's smile spoke volumes.

“Your look!”, Morrie blurted out. “I still feel like I'm speaking to a ghost! You have no idea how much you startled me when you first took off the mask. I was about to faint.” Nick winced. “I actually have an idea...I was so wrong about everything and I'm so sorry...Does it still bother you?” He gave Morrie a worried look. “No, I...I like it...” The other man took a breath. “I like it and I want this to work.” “Me, too”, Nick said quietly. He considered something, biting his lower lip. “Do you want to come over to my suite? It's probably more comfortable there.” In fact, sitting in between put up chairs felt a bit odd. Not the atmosphere he would've chosen for a romantic evening. Nick knew he had to be careful, but Morrie's tone had motivated him to try. Now he silently waited for the answer.

After a short pause, Morrie said: “Yes...let's go...” A smile flashed over Nick's face. He got up and the other man followed him. They quietly left the bar and went into the next lift. They were still silent when Nick opened the door to his suite and turned on the light. He went to a side table to put the bottle of wine there. Morrie sat down on the couch and gave Nick a heart-warming look, so that the other man dared to sit down right next to him. Just when Nick attempted to say something, he felt himself wrapped into Morrie's arms. Breathing against Morrie's chest in surprise, he needed a moment before he hugged him back. They held each other for a long while.

When Morrie looked at him again, his expression was tender. “My Norbert...”, he whispered. His fingers skimmed over Nick's face and hair while green eyes watched him.

Morrie had feared that it hurt, that he couldn't forget about Nigel and always felt like he lost him. Now, holding Norbert in his arms, he realized he didn't miss Nigel...Or rather, that he didn't lose him.

“Don't do that again, you hear me?”, Morrie whispered without knowing what exactly he meant. “Never again...” He pulled him into another hug. “I promise, Morrie”. Nick's voice was soft as silk. “I don't want to lose you again.” The other man carefully kissed his forehead. Because it felt good, he continued with his temples. Like that, he worked his way towards Nick's lips until Nick, aroused by Morrie's fondness, took the chance.

Their kiss was more passionate and hungrier than before. Nick let his hands wander along Morrie's body, but then Morrie broke away from him. With their foreheads pressed against each other they paused, panting. “I'm tired”, Morrie whispered. Nick's body desperately cramped. Why now? What did he do wrong? “You wanna leave?” The other man answered with wry smile: “Why, don't you have a bed in here?” Nick's eyes lit up.

“I see, you're tired, too. Let's go then...” Suddenly, Morrie reached under him and lifted him up. “Gosh, you're light”, he stated. “You really don't eat enough.” “I don't want to get heavier! I like to be carried around”, Nick protested, joyfully floundering. “I could put up with a little more”, the other man said with a grin. “If you say so.” Nick giggled. Morrie gently placed him down on the bed and planted another kiss on him before he knelt down onto the mattress.

“Do you even like 'Norbert', or should I call you 'Nick'?”, he thought out loud. Nick reached out for him, grabbing his sweater. “Call me whatever you like, my love.” “I guess I'll go with both. Norbert, if you're a good boy, and Nick if you're bad.” The other man giggled again. “Then I hope I won't be 'Nick' too often.” Morrie fondled his hair. “You did something wonderful, even in an unlikely way...” “I wouldn't have made it without you. You gave me a chance...” “I guess we owe this to Murray”, the other man said with an embarrassed smile. “He talked some sense into me.” “Right...I'm surprised he even cared...” Nick's hands slid down. “He's my friend.” “I guess...”

Morrie hesitated before he brought out: “Norbert...?” “Yeah?” “Thank you...” Nick gave him a comforting blink. “You're welcome.” His hands caressed Morrie's. “...and I love you.” Nick paused. A spark lit up in his green eyes when Morrie bent down to bring their lips together once again. More hungry kisses followed. They didn't sleep that night.

[babylooneytoonz]

Warnings: ANGST // REVELATIONS // TEARS // Sort of cried while reading Bucky parts // Bucky doesn't deserve this :((

Please find links to all the parts in my Masterlist here.💗

You were looking at Bucky so intensely, trying to listen to his words, let them sink in, that you didn't notice a man walking towards you. Neither did Bucky. You were so engrossed, for you had never heard this man talk of those times, infact, he had never said anything remotely closer to you than curses and grunts. This felt refreshing.

"Well, look who's here."

A voice snapped you back into reality, a frown creasing over your forehead.

"Wallis?"

For some reason, you were thankful when Bucky stepped towards you, the side of your arm now brushing against the fabric of his tshirt. He was quiet, but you knew he was watching.

"Since when do you date? From what I had heard, you hadn't landed yourself a man since we broke up."

"Life is more than just having a man, Wallis." You drawled on a smile, not failing to notice a flash of a frown grow over his forehead that he was quick to mask.

"Well aren't you going to introduce me to your man?"

That's when you turned towards Bucky, a faint blush paving its way to your cheeks. You didn't know why, but a current; a sudden surge of electricity flew through you when he called him your man.

"Who the hell are you?" Bucky finally spoke.

"My lousy ass of an ex husband who couldn't keep his cock in his pants," you retorted.

"You still let that affect you, don't you?" He smirked, causing you to stiffen slightly.

Bucky felt you tense up next to him but the warmth that you felt radiating from him was suddenly stripped away from you. But it was only when you saw Bucky wall up to him, towering over him with a glare equivalent to death in his eyes.

"You do know who I am right? I would walk away I were you. And leave her the hell alone, I'd fear my life that can be taken away with just whisk of my arm," you kept watching, as Bucky flexed the fingers on his metallic arm slightly, the arm glistening underneath the pale moonlight. You finally found your footing, and your numbness subsided, and ignoring the buzzing in the back of your head and the throbbing headache in your temple, you found yourself walking up to the men, only to place your arm on Bucky's arm, slowly drawing his arm down so you could take his hand, coiling your fingers against the cool metal.

You didn't know why it happened, and you didn't understand the logistics, but you suddenly felt safe, and you felt warm, although the icy metal was like ice against your skin. It even felt better when Bucky looked down, his eyes trailing over the way you were holding his hand, and he just tightened the grip, not wanting to let your hand drop.

"Let's go Bucky, he isn't worth it."

He nodded, and giving him one glare he turned around, still holding your hand, as the two of you walked away.

"You know, you always play the victim card, using how I cheated on you, but do you ever tell the others what you did? And what I lost? Because of you?"

The venom in his words was enough for you to stop walking, your heart beating wildly inside your chest. It had been a long time you had let yourself think of this, but now, the old wounds had been scratched, and the raw, seething pain was back.

"Why don't you tell the world what you did? And what you didn't do? You keep sitting on this high pedestal, and pretend that it's only you that has been treated like this, but news flash, you're just as guilty as I am."

The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down your face, your chin trembling like that of a two year old. You had zoned yourself out completely now, Wallis' words playing in the back of your mind repeatedly, like bullets being emptied into your heart.

"Bucky," you managed to whisper, your voice low and broken, "take me home."

You were so lost in your thoughts; you paid no heed to the sick, cracking sound that echoed for a split second when Bucky's metal fist collided with Wallis' jaw, or the groan of pain that escaped his lips as he crashed against the cold concrete floor, holding his bleeding jaw. You could only hear the static in your head, when Bucky draped his arm protectively around your shoulder, and pulled you to him, his voice trying to call you back, but you were too gone, too deep into the water to swim back out, you were drowning in your own head.

"Let's get you back now, yeah? Doll, you're okay."

╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡

You were obnoxiously quiet all the way back to the Stark Towers. Bucky still hadn't let go off your hand, and he hadn't tried to make small talk with you, something you really appreciated right now. You couldn't talk, you didn't have the energy to, and neither the will.

The minute the elevators flung open, the two of you came face to face with Sam, Wanda, and Steve, who was leaning against the wall, his eyes giving the two of you the looks; the tiniest of smirks playing against his lips. Bucky watched, as Sam's lips parted, and he was about to say something, but at the right time Bucky brought up his palm, and motioned towards him to let it be, and all the smirks on their faces just died, worry filling them up instead.

Bucky quietly turned towards your apartment, walking you down the hallway, still holding your hand as you quietly followed him, your eyes lowered to the floor, while the three behind you followed the two of you, confused, but concerned about your well-being.

"I'll be right out, punk." Bucky said in a low voice to his bestfriend, who understood, that perhaps you needed your space right now, so he nodded and stopped following you, watching Bucky and you disappear into your apartment.

You sat down against the edge of the bed, slowly lifting up your eyes until you had your eyes trained on the super soldier. Your heart ached at the sight; he was standing by your walk in closet, confused, looking for something that you could probably wear for the night, something more comfortable.

"Hey, where do you, uh, keep your –"

Finally, after what felt like ages, you gave him a weak smile, and he gave you one back. You stood up, slowly walking up to him and placing your palm gently on his flesh arm.

"I've got it Buck, thank you, for everything you've done. You can go talk to Steve while I get changed. Yeah?"

You didn't mean to do it, and you had tried so hard for him to not feel like you were kicking him out, sending him away, but it did look like a bit of hurt flashed in his eyes, before he quickly masked it, and nodded, giving you a smile just for the show.

"Well then, I'll be back in my apartment, you can just call me on my cell if you, well, we do have Friday." He said, in a low monotone.

The two of you stayed like that for a few seconds, your heart melting just by gazing into his blues, when he slowly took a step away, ready to leave. You didn't let go of his hand, causing him to stop walking and turn slightly, gazing at how you were still holding his hand like a little lost child.

"I don't want to be alone, I was wondering if, well–"

A soft smile broke out against the corner of his lips, and a faint nod on his face.

"I'll be back, I just need to let them know you're okay. They are worried about you."

"I know." You nodded, both of you walking in different directions; one out of your apartment door, and the other into the closet.

You pulled out a plain white knee length frock, unbuttoning your jeans and rolling it down, until you stepped out of it. You then took off the shirt, hanging it neatly on one of the racks, so you could be reminded of taking the clothes out for laundry. Sliding your neck through it, you pulled the frock over your body, rolling it over until it fell to your knees.

Your eyes were feeling heavy, but you didn't wish to go to sleep. Instead, you laid down, pulling the covers partially over you and started staring at the ceiling. A sudden, hollow feeling hit you and you couldn't stop thinking about the things Wallis had spoken.

You had made mistakes, but there was not a single night you didn't wish to undo the things you had done, and hope that the things had gone differently.

Your chain of thoughts were broken when you heard Bucky walk in. He looked strained, but his shoulders relaxed the minute he saw you laying in bed. You turned your neck towards him, giving him a slow smile as you watched him walk towards the other side of the bed, lowering himself against the edge.

He got into bed with you, the weight of the other side of the bed now heavy. This made you realize, this was the first time you had let a man into your bed, and also perhaps, into your heart, after whatever happened two years back. Reflexively, you rolled over, until you found yourself in Bucky's embrace, your face buried into his chest, fitting like a perfect piece of a puzzle under the crook of his neck.

He smelled perfect.

His flesh hand came to rest at the back of your head, stroking over your scalp in a soft and soothing movement of fingers.

Finally, he took a deep breath and mumbled, his voice low and soft.

"I've seen many horrors, doll. And I thought I could never get back to who I used to be."

You blinked, looking up at him.

"But I realized one thing, although it didn't make the pain go away, talking about things made it easier to bear."

You almost sniffled a sob upon hearing his words, but Bucky heard you and he looked down at you, gazing into your eyes, until he leaned in and planted a soft, chaste kiss to your nose.

"They did monstrous things to me Y/N. Things I cannot even tell you, but I still am here, am I not ? "

You sighed into his embrace, resting your forehead against his sturdy chest, wanting to cry, to let it all out, but that would make you weak. And you didn't want to let this man see how weak you truly felt, how small as compared to the rest of the world.

"I wish it were that easy, letting go. You really can't let go Buck when your actions are responsible for someone innocent losing their life."

He almost raised an eyebrow but he didn't ask you what you meant. You only bit your lip, licking over your dry lower lip as you started thinking back again of how you could have done things differently.

"Well were once happy Buck, me and Wallis. We were in love, we were newly married. And then one day, he came along."

"Who did, doll?"

His ask was so raw, so innocent, you couldn't stop talking. So you did, pouring your heart out to a man who you had known for mere weeks.

"Danny, our son."

You felt Bucky stiffen slightly, but he didn't let go off you, he still held you to his chest, mumbling a small, but audible hum, to let you know that he was listening.

"He was the most perfect thing that ever was. He had my eyes, and he didn't cry. What baby never cries Bucky?" You chuckled, through your tears, that were now freely flowing down your eyes.

The truth was, Bucky couldn't understand all this; these emotions were new to him. He never had his own family, and he didn't understand what it was like having a son. Maybe though, he did think that it wouldn't have been bad, to have his own family, something that he had thought of back in the 1940s, but now, he couldn't anymore for he was not the same man he used to be.

"Well he never cried. He was one hell of a happy kid I tell you. Anyway, he was growing up so fast, and life was good. My boy was two already, and before I knew he was always running around our house, breaking things, knocking my fucking vases off the cabinets," the two of you were grinning at each other just thinking of a toddler running around the house, breaking things.

Until you sombred up, and the smile washed off your face.

"It was three nights after his third birthday, and Danny was with me, at home. Wallis was out, as usual, so I decided we would go take a walk, I really needed to clear my head."

You didn't realize that your lips were quivering now. Your eyes were already swollen, half lidded and glossy, and you were trembling like a leaf, even in the warmth that Bucky provided you, coated you in.

"It was a moonless night, and Danny wanted to have his favourite ice cream when they came out of nowhere."

"Who?" Bucky's voice got heavy suddenly, his eyes darkening two shades, his eyebrows forming a thin line.

"HYDRA."

You felt Bucky loosen his grip on you, the minute you said that word. You didn't blame him. After all, they were responsible for the mess you all were in today.

"I don't know what they wanted, but I was alone, and they were five. I failed, I failed to protect him. I could only watch–"

Bucky's finger flew up to your lips, his index pressing against your plump ones, forbidding you from speaking any further. His soft eyes looked down at you, and you could see that his eyes were moist.

"It wasn't your fault, baby."

You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath; if only you could believe him.

"It wouldn't have happened, if I hadn't taken him out that night, if I would have been able to protect him–"

"You didn't know what they planned, and they were five."

You didn't reply, instead, you scooted closer into Bucky's embrace and he tightened his grip around you, pulling the covers over the two of you, his lips pressed to your forehead. You could feel his heart, because your face was pressed to his chest. His heartbeat was soothing and you found yourself relaxing to his touch, his warmth and the way he held you and your eyelids started feeling heavy.

"My son died with a fucking bullet to his skull." You suddenly pushed yourself away from Bucky and propped yourself up in bed, wrapping your arms around your frail body, pinching your eyes shut, ignoring the warm, thick tears rolling down your cheeks.

Bucky remembered talking to Steve, and how you had gone off the radar for two years and SHEILD hadn't assigned you any mission. Now he knew, that you had probably locked yourself up after what you had witnessed, and it wasn't your fault. He wanted to console you, to comfort you and he wanted to take this pain away, but he didn't know how to.

He was scared now; scared that you would shut him off, only when you were starting to open up to him.

"Y/N, it wasn't your fault."

He didn't know that his words will anger you even more, instead of calming you down. You slid out of bed, much to Bucky's surprise, and turned to face him.

"It wasn't my fault? Don't you see what I've done? Or what I could've done?"

You were screaming at him.

"You couldn't have done anything! Why don't you understand?" He slid out of bed too, almost yelling back at you in the same voice that you had used on him.

"Why the fuck would you still let that jerk get into your mind like that? Fuck your mind? He wanted this to happen, and you're letting him win," he spat, his hands on his hips.

The two of you were on the either side of the bed, giving each other a stare down.

"Bucky, you won't understand," you finally whispered, looking down at your hands, " you never had anyone to lose."

You didn't mean that. You really didn't. But now you wished you could swallow back the words you had just said. Just the look of hurt on the man's face was enough to make you feel guilty. He didn't deserve this. He didn't.

"Bucky, that's not what I meant, come here please?"

"Well, fuck, you weren't wrong. I am not used to this, having people, having connections, feelings and emotions. You're absolutely fucking right."

"Babe, I didnt–"

"But you know what? I'm okay this way. I have no fucking one to care about, or be cared for from, and I am okay with it. Because it's fucking simpler that way. Atleast it saves me the mess of being what you are today. You can't even forgive yourself for something you haven't even done."

He slid his feet into his slippers and turned away, facing the door. His hands were clenched against his sides, so hard, his knuckles were turning white. He finally started walking towards the door, when you called out.

"Where are you going?"

Your voice broke.

"To my own damn apartment, so I can be alone, like I always was."

The door slammed shut, and he was gone.

(So, thoughts anyone? 🥺)

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