#but see- i feel like i have the vocabulary to criticise that

[the-cryptographer]

Mmm... I think Aloy Horizon Zero Dawn kinda disappoints me as a protagonist because I can definitely feel the ways the story went out of its way to minimise her relationship with her gender. Aloy is someone who imho would be a more resonant character if the game better explored her feelings about being outcast and excluded from her tribe AND about being excluded from societal femininity. Something I don't imagine she would simply wish to be included in either - it's complicated. But the absence of this conflict in the narrative to me feels like an oversight that can basically only be explained by trying to keep a female protagonist otherwise as comfortable for male devs/players as possible, and not letting gender influence her priorities in a way that would make them clash with those of male players.

And I think it's fair if the writers/devs didn't feel capable of tackling this. And this is of course happening in an environment of executives that are wary of funding games with female protagonists to start with and an environment of gamers who are incredibly sexist and like to complain when a fictional women is too martially competent or has vellus hair.

But, yeah... mmm... idk? I suppose this is also me disbelieving the egalitarian quality of the worldbuilding? It's not that women are less martially capable than men or unable to meaningfully hunt and fight. It's that this is a world where people are under constant threat of death via killer robots and exposure, and any group of people who regularly take on the task of leaving camp to hunt will suffer casualties. And losing too many people with wombs (who are disproportionately if not exclusively women) is uh... extremely bad for the survival of a population in a way losing people without them isn't.

So, yeah, realistically there should be fewer women hunters in this verse. And it's not a problem that Aloy - who is already an outcast and has been written off by the tribe and needed to learn to live in the wilds - is totally bamf at archery and climbing and taking down robots and bandits. Just, yeah, like... I think if anything this should be more of a mixed blessing and another thing that separates her from social conformity. And it's almost strange to feel the game lean out of this interpretation rather than into it when they have Aloy otherwise struggle against being accepted as an outcast with her own people and as an outlander with ppl of other tribes.

[whatwouldsylwrite]

hockey!Abby x dancer!reader pt6

pt 1 pt 5

It’s your turn to take Abby on a date!

Tags: modern au, fluff, fem!reader, shy reader, reader is into sexy/girly dances, Abby is a sweetheart, switching pov

Notes: Kisses, book snobbism. (I didn't mention any book names that they're criticising and the name of Abby's favourite book so you could put what you want there). The butt song - Juicy, and the lyrics Abby's thinking about are "If you could see it from the front, wait 'til you see it from the back".

Special thanks to @ohlawdthebirds for helping me out with Abby's book taste!

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

It didn't take long for Abby to start calling you her girlfriend after your first date. It just felt… natural to her. Abby didn't even notice how she said "oh, that's my girlfriend, (y/n)" when someone asked her about you, because people asked. Abby didn't mind unless the person who was asking acted like they had a chance with you or made some inappropriate comments about your body - it was one thing to say you were hot and another thing to describe what someone’d do to you if they could. Abby now thought you were a fucking saint for dealing with these assholes as peacefully as you did, because she? She wanted to strangle them with her bare hands and she would if they didn't go away fast enough. Abby was scary, and people could definitely feel her fury just by standing next to her. 

Of course, when you first heard her calling you her girlfriend you went red in the face and had this cute wide smile that made Abby melt and buzz and be so soft she might as well turn into Baymax. She was worried for a second - what if she was moving too fast? It was hard to tell with you: your boundaries were palpable, but you were so sweet and responsive, so she couldn’t be sure you’d have a negative reaction. And then you smiled at her bashfully and now the word “girlfriend” was the most frequently used word in her vocabulary. 

The other perk - except for obvious, you were officially hers now - was how nervous her teammates got when she was sitting with them during your practice. It was like they had a fear of God in them, watching you dance and knowing Abby was right there and Abby would definitely kick their asses if they said something wrong. It filled Abby with such joy she’d act tough with them on purpose just to see them stammering - it was so fun to mess with them. 

The only person who wasn’t scared of Abby was Manny, and he’d always comment on “you got lucky, Anderson, this chick is something else”, “oh fuck me, are you telling me I can’t appreciate the beauty? The skill? Girl’s got moves”, “it’s your civic duty to keep her satisfied, Abs, she is feeding us a three-course meal”. Depending on how obnoxious Manny was, Abby would either chuckle or slap his stupid head, but she knew he was kind-hearted, so she didn’t actually fight him. 

And now Abby got to walk around the university campus and steal you to make out somewhere secluded, because now she was allowed to. It wasn't like you didn't let her kiss you - quite the opposite, you silently asking for a kiss was Abby's fucking kryptonite - but now you were more relaxed around her. Abby didn’t even notice you were tense before, but now the difference between nervous you and relaxed you was striking. It was still too easy to make you blush, but now your hands slithered around her waist like they belonged there, with familiarity Abby’s heart ached for. 

 Abby’s anatomy class just ended when she texted you to find out where you were (‘dining hall’) and she made her way to the dining hall, because she hasn’t seen you for two days - to think of it, god both of your schedules were absolutely fucked. You’ve seen each other more often at the activity centre than on the campus - which was ridiculous. So Abby collected her things, said her goodbyes and went to the dining hall.

When Abby walked into the dining hall her only goal was to find you, while a lot of people came around to say hi and ask her questions. Usually it was nice, but right now it was irritating - all those people distracted her from her search. And then she noticed you, sitting alone at the table, reading through something on your phone - Abby knew this look on you, eyes glued to the screen, brows a little furrowed and whatever you had in front of you abandoned. Fuck you were attractive like that - it wasn’t even about your looks, it was purely about your brains.

Abby quickly grabbed some food and walked to your table, watching how close she’d need to get before you notice her. The answer was: she needed to sit at your table before you looked up at her. 

“What are you doing?” Abby asked, mostly referring to the reading.

“I keep it juicy-juicy, I eat that lunch.” You answered in a flat tone, your face fully blank, as you pointed at your plate which was half-finished.

 Abby couldn’t contain her snort - you had no business to be funny, but fuck, you saying lyrics to Doja Cat in flat voice? Ridiculous. 

“I meant, what are you reading?”

“My prof’s notes on my paper.” You scrunched your nose. “She is right, mostly, but I’ve never felt more academically inferior.”

Abby laughed and you both sprang into conversation, discussing everything and nothing at the same time, just catching up for those two days - sometimes you both were so busy you couldn’t even text each other regularly, so now Abby’s hands itched. She knew she was staring at you - who wouldn’t, you were so pretty - but she couldn’t help herself. Abby listened to you, absorbing your voice like a sponge while you both ate, but she needed something else.

“Do you have free time now?”

“Around half an hour.” You said after you checked the time. “What’s up?”

“Gonna steal you.” Abby said and watched with joy how your cheeks became pink. 

You both finished your lunch and left the dining hall. The weather was nice today, though a little cold, so Abby took her jacket off and put it on your shoulders, rejoicing in her own possessiveness of you - it was her jacket on you, not someone else’s. Especially stupid jerks from your classes. And you wrapped it around yourself with a small smile that did something to Abby’s insides - in these moments she felt like she could conquer the whole fucking world. 

Abby spotted the big wide tree that could give you privacy and led you to it, not even trying to be subtle - she needed to put her hands on you. 

"I feel like I'm a teenager again." You laughed as Abby tugged to the tree. 

"And how often did you get caught kissing girls during breaks?" 

Abby tried to be polite and waited until you leaned against the tree, helping her play this little game where you talk and stand conveniently close to pretend it was a normal social situation.

"What do you think?" You asked, coy. Abby chuckled and moved close enough to put her hand on your neck. 

"I think you're too smart to get caught." Abby whispered in your lips before she kissed you. 

It was Abby's favourite part: feeling how you relaxed against her, hugging her waist and ever so slightly pressing her closer, as if she'd stop you. So Abby doubled down and pressed you against the tree hard enough so your bodies would be flush against each other, but not hard enough so your back would hurt from the tree bark. You sighed into her mouth and she deepened the kiss, her tongue slowly playing with your tongue, sharing the taste of the strawberry candy you ate during lunch. 

Abby moved her hand under your shirt, stroking your side with her thumb as you shuddered and your knees grew weak - her touch to your bare skin lit you up like a Christmas tree. Abby squeezed your side and pulled you closer, marvelling at how soft you were, how gentle your fingers were on her jaw as you kissed her back with enthusiasm. 

"I've missed you." You whispered in Abby's mouth and something warm filled her chest. 

"Me too, doll." Abby kissed your jaw, her mouth slowly moving down your neck. "Tell me if this is not okay." 

"Why wouldn't it be?" You said shortly to hide your quiet moan. 

Abby didn't say anything and kept kissing your neck, nibbling at your skin as she moved down to your collarbones, her hand caressing your stomach now. You couldn't move anywhere, her thigh pressing between your thighs all the way to the tree. Abby's head got filled with a picture of you just grinding on her thigh like this and she had to move away a little before she could help you, her self-control slowly going out of the window. 

"Fuck." Abby sighed as your foreheads met. "Did I tell you how crazy you make me?"

You blushed a little, shy smile tugging at your lips. Abby watched you, her hand still stroking your stomach. 

"Every time we end up in this situation." You chuckled. "Are you free this Saturday?"

Abby looked at you, surprised, but not sure by what: by your question or by how you looked a little bit insecure, as if Abby would reject you. She knew now it was because you didn't have a lot of experience in being forward, but it was still a little bit heartbreaking to see. 

"Yeah. You wanna do something?"

"Yeah." There you go, Abby thought as you smiled, now feeling safe again. 

"Are you going to tell me?" Abby asked playfully as she pinched your stomach slightly.

"Oh, I'm not telling you shit." You smiled deviously and Abby laughed. She knew not telling you anything about your first date would bite her in the ass.

"All right, then. Keep your secrets." Abby said as you giggled and pulled her in another kiss. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Abby wasn’t nervous, no. Of course she wasn’t, why would she be? It wasn’t like she didn’t like being in the dark about your plans for today. No, she was chill. She was cool. She was okay with not being in control. 

Abby’s fingers were tapping a fast rhyme on the steering wheel as she waited for you to come down. At least you were merciful enough to tell Abby what would be appropriate to wear (“casual”) so Abby put on her favourite pair of jeans, her sleeveless shirt and a jacket. She was hoping she was dressed appropriately - it was very unlikely that you'd have clothes her size, unless you had a secret stack of oversize clothes she didn't know of. 

Now Abby began to understand why you asked her so many questions, but just as you trusted her, Abby decided to trust you back - that was the fun of it, surprising your girl with something she'd like. You were definitely not taking her to do any sports activities, so she'd be fine. 

Abby looked over the door to your apartment complex and once again she stopped breathing as she watched you come closer: you and your little outfits always left her speechless. She noticed in surprise that this was the first time she saw you in jeans and she was scared for herself when she'd see the back of those jeans. The fucking Doja Cat with her fucking butt song, Abby thought as she left the car to greet you. 

You smiled at her and leaned into the kiss right away, not shy anymore. Abby couldn't help herself and accidentally touched your butt, enjoying how dense and hard it was because of the denim. She didn't know if you'd noticed, but you didn't say anything so she didn't say anything too. 

"Are you going to tell me now where we are going?" Abby asked as you two sat in the car and she started the engine. 

"I'm going to give an address where we can park and then we'll have to walk a little." You said with that naughty smile you gave Abby when you wanted to be a little shit. Cute little shit, but still.

"It's not rock climbing?" Abby asked jokingly. 

"No. I'd have warned you." You said genuinely. "We can go rock climbing next time if you want."

Abby smiled, suddenly shy - she wasn't used to someone caring about her, as she usually was a carer.

The road took around twenty minutes and Abby put some music on - when you rode with her for the first time she offered you to put your music on, but you said you wanted to listen to her music and now when you both were in the car Abby'd pick something and then you both would exchange songs, turning them on through Abby's spotify. Now Abby's recommendations were fucked: the mix of her rock and classic with your rnb and kpop ("I know," you said as if you expected Abby to have some prejudice against kpop, "but they work with the best choreographers and I'm not passing up on opportunity to have a readymade tailored choreo"). But Abby didn't mind - some of the songs reminded her of your dancing anyway, and you'd dance with your hands to some of them, which was cute as fuck. 

Abby parked the car when you spotted the free space - and she pretended she didn't notice you staring at her with pink cheeks as she was going in reverse with one hand on your seat. Abby knew she looked hot when she did it, and well. She did it for you anyway.

You two left the car and you immediately took Abby's hand to tug her gently as you walked her to the place. 

"I hope you won't think I'm boring." You said as you two turned the corner. 

"Are you going to make me look at rich people's portraits?" Abby asked with suspicion. 

There was nothing more boring for her than to walk around dusty art galleries and look at dark ugly portraits. She liked nature or even good portraits, but ones that were done on black canvas with clear signs of inbreeding on their faces? No thank you. 

"Well, no. But thanks for telling me before I started planning our next date." You laughed and stopped. 

Abby looked at the place and now she understood why you said that. You were standing in front of the bookshop - and not the one that had a shop in each city, but this kind of bookshop that looks straight up from movies. It was two stories tall, with big windows and nice, interesting displays. It looked old, and maybe it was actually old, Abby didn't know. 

"I wanted to do a book date." You admitted, getting shy. "You know, when we walk around and talk about books?" 

Abby nodded, totally smitten. It was such a cute idea and it was definitely something Abby would like: geeking out about books she read while you'd geek out about books you've read? 

"And there's a coffee shop on the second floor, so we can get coffee." You continued, now looking around as the nerves got the best of you.

Abby quickly squeezed your hand to make you look at her, because she would not let you get upset. 

"Fuck, (y/n). I'm going to talk your ear off." Abby chuckled and watched how your face lit up.

"You like it?"

"Are you kidding me? Of course." Abby leaned down and pressed a kiss to your cheek.

You wiggled a little in anticipation and you two went inside the shop. There were not a lot of people and it was pleasantly quiet. The first display was "most popular" and you two got stuck there immediately. 

Abby looked through the manga, sci-pop and modern novels, not really impressed with people's taste. 

"Have you read this?" You pointed at one of the books and Abby shook her head. She did recognize the book from her booktok recommendations, but it didn't catch her interest. "Good for you, because this? This is a crime against literature."

Abby suddenly felt relieved: she wasn't sure if you'd be as snobby as she was with your books. Abby knew already you had different taste in literature, and somewhere in her mind Abby was scared you'd read something she'd absolutely hate. 

"Why?" 

"The language of this thing is just abominable. I swear to god the author doesn't know about different sentence lengths. Or it could've been done for a reason, but I definitely failed to find it." You shrugged and Abby smiled at you. 

You moved on from the "popular now" display pretty fast, and you walked through the next shelves without much pause: they were maps and cultural guides you both didn't have any interest in. Next shelves were poetry and you tugged Abby to them, showing her your favourites. Abby in return pointed at authors she couldn't understand for the life of her ("I'd need a vocabulary to understand half of it") and you giggled. Then Abby spotted a collection of ancient Greek tragedies and her nerd brain activated as she retold some of them to you in modern terms while you laughed your face off. 

"Medea invented female rage." Abby said it like she had on good authority, nodding seriously and you giggled. 

"You make ancient literature sound fun, Abby." You said as you curled to her side, your hand in her hand.

Abby melted from your warmth and kissed your temple. Then she continued her geeking out by telling how ancient Greek theatre worked and you listened with big curious eyes and Abby blushed a little from such undivided attention from you. 

Then you moved on to classic prose and discussed which books you had to read in school, which ones you hated and which ones made you cry. ("Les Misérables?" "Les Miserables") Abby loved Hugo just as much as you did - but she was the type of person to read through 20 pages of description of Notre Dame and then find out if it was accurate (but she cried about Esmeralda's fate anyway). You showed her some books you absolutely despised in school but liked them when you reread it a few years later. 

You politely ignored the shelves with modern detectives and action and moved on to fantasy. You both found out your love for books started with children's fantasy, even though you've read different series - and you gushed to each other about your childhood favourites. 

“You think you need a vocabulary for poetry? Try reading this without any prior knowledge.” You pointed at the part of the shelf where Tolkien’s books were placed. 

“There’s actually editions with annotations.” Abby shared with you as she touched some of the books, just admiring them. “I have that edition of The Hobbit, if you want to.”

“Oh. That’d be cool.” You nodded and Abby chuckled. 

Eventually you got stuck between non-fiction shelves, discussing which books you liked and which books were..not that good. Abby’s snobby side got a chance to shine when you were going through self-improvement books - she hated them. (I mean, what kind of adult can’t figure out time management? It’s like people forgot what university was like). You didn’t agree with her there (yeah, but you have a schedule that is made for you, and then suddenly you're a full on adult with zero skill in planning your time. I think it’s nice that people can at least try to learn this skill). It was a small disagreement but for Abby it was significant - the way you two had different opinions and it wasn’t a problem, but an opportunity to learn. She suddenly hoped that every disagreement you two would have in the future would be just as this one - an honest desire to understand each other. 

Abby didn’t notice how long you were in the bookshop - it felt like 15 minutes when in reality it took you almost 2 hours to get through everything and talk about it. At one point when Abby was geeking out about some cool history books, you shyly leaned in to her and asked for a book recommendation and Abby just. Stopped functioning, her brain going into overdrive - you asked her for a book recommendation. For a second Abby just stood there, but then she grinned and went to find her favourite with your hand in hers. 

Abby gave you the book and waited for your reaction - what if you read it already? What if you read it and didn’t like it? 

“It’s actually on my reading list.” You said, delighted. “Thank you, Abby.” You leaned in and left a kiss on her cheek, while she smiled bashfully. “Wanna grab some coffee?”

“Yeah.”

You bought the book after you managed to convince Abby you’d pay for it, not her - and she was standing next to you trying not to pout. Abby wanted to take care of you, doesn’t mean in which way - actually, in all ways - but she shouldn't control you. So she stopped arguing about who will pay for the book and let you handle it. 

You went to get your coffee - surprisingly, the coffee shop had more people in it than the whole book shop - and sat by the window, watching the sun go down. Abby watched how golden light hit your face, making you look downright unreal: all soft and relaxed and pretty, so damn pretty. She couldn’t look away from your eyes that changed colour under the light as you looked somewhere far away, just enjoying the company and the place. You’ve noticed Abby’s stare and blushed, confused.

“Is there something on my face?”

“Except pure unadulterated beauty? No, nothing.” Abby grinned as you giggled, your face fully red now. 

You put your hand across the table and Abby took it, intertwining your fingers together as she stroked your palm with her thumb.

“Sometimes I think you say such things just to make me blush.” You said playfully and Abby laughed.

“I’m still telling the truth.” Abby shrugged. 

You laughed  and looked at Abby like you wanted to remember every little detail of her face, absorbing her. How the existence of one person can change your life, you thought, because Abby changed your life not just for the better, but for the best.

[scaryinclusive]

i know this seems lengthy, but please give it a read! this blog has one goal in mind - to make tumblr a safer space for the 'scary' side of neurodivergence. for some, this might act as a resource blog, for others it might be inflammatory and for hopefully the majority a place of safety and respect. i will be exploring and discussing the mental health disorders and conditions that don't fit into society's 'acceptable and appropriate' boxes, the ones that can't so easily be romanticised or that are too often fetishised, that face extensive, harmful and isolating stigma and ableism and that often suffer tremendously at the hands of misplaced blame and unaddressed trauma.

please approach this blog with an open mind and show the same respect you'd want to receive. i know it's easy to forget we're all people behind a screen but we are. anon is off, because i want to avoid hate speech where possible. this is for all corners of tumblr, including the roleplay community. i appreciate some of the things you might see may make you feel invalidated or might trigger you, but be patient and try to remain unbiased. at no point do i want or intend to offend or criticise you. if anything does, let me know and we can talk about it.

i personally face the daily stigma and ableism that comes with my own mental health - such as narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder. i'm not about to make a list, but as someone that's experienced and witnessed this stigma and ableism an unbearable amount within the roleplay community and tumblr generally, as well as outside of my own home in the real world ( because as much as some would like to argue that being 'chronically online' is the root cause of facing mental health ableism, it isn't. ) i am as vulnerable and exposed to it offline as i am online. i do not condone generalising mental health and will treat every disorder and condition mentioned as a spectrum.

i am not the gospel, i am not the know all, but i've reached a place where i can't sit by and say nothing anymore while strangers demonise and villainise people like me without a second thought. often while insisting on receiving empathy, kindness, respect and compassion from those around them. mental health support doesn't stop at depression and anxiety. if you want to call yourself a supporter, and certainly if you want to use the title of 'empath', do the right thing and support everyone - yes, even society's 'scary' illnesses.

this starts with things such as altering your vocabulary. i'm not telling you to tip-toe around every word, but every word on that list holds weight and impacts those around you. it's very telling if this doesn't matter to you. be mindful that everyone deserves a safe support system, and everyone deserves compassion - even if they're not capable of reciprocating it themselves. everyone deserves to feel welcome. you can't expect individuals exhibiting harmful or negative behaviours, due to a background of trauma forcing them to develop in a specific way to survive, to seek help and healing while continuing to demonise and villainise them. this only serves to make us hide, bottling everything up until we can no longer cope, because we feel therapists are compromised by stigma and no one will be supportive or sympathetic to our situation. we cannot heal, despite ableists demanding it from us, because of them creating harmful media, stories, characters, assumptions and lies about us. this costs lives.

please note this isn't written in accusatory tone. nobody is perfect. i, myself, have experienced internalised ableism - due to society teaching me to project my own confusion, frustration, trauma and discomfort onto others instead of picking it apart, breaking it down and accepting myself. this is also frequent within the community, where individuals have been brainwashed to believe there's something 'wrong' with them, that they require 'fixing', dooming them to fail. that the only way to heal is to contribute to the ableism and stigma, to label themselves as evil and accept what a nuisance they are to society. it's just not true, and i refuse to believe we can't facilitate spaces for these 'scary' individuals, myself included, to heal and take responsibility in a positive way that benefits everyone, where blame isn't misplaced and trauma doesn't go undervalued. where people can learn that we're not so scary, but vastly misunderstood and misrepresented.

this blog does not support the ideology of 'narcissistic abuse', nor the placing of any disorder in front of 'abuse'. this is ableism. please read this short, non-accusatory, self-helping article to understand why. this is also another article, written by a professional, to help understand. emotional abuse, or just 'abuse' is adequate enough; i do not condone the besmirching and generalisation of an entire community in favour of misplaced and unaddressed trauma. hopefully you'll give this blog a chance, maybe even help me add to it. if not? that's okay. i'm not here to tell you what you can and can't do, but if you decide to follow the resources posted here i can promise that you'll be helping make a corner of the world safer for us. change really does start with you. and if you're asking why bother? does it even matter? read this post again.

[sliceofslo]

I have piles of books, and I don’t even have a shelf and I never read them all anyway. I wrote many letters, I was never good, and I don’t ever want anyone to read them anyway.

I have always been hungry to learn a new word, widen my vocabulary, familiarise the unfamiliar, keeping in mind the difference of breath and breathe, the former is a noun and the latter is a verb. Literature caught my interest ever since I’ve learned to write my thoughts on a piece of paper, I bleed words out of my hands instead of my mouth. The calluses between my ring finger and middle finger have been with me since then. At once I write to keep track of my thoughts, but suddenly it becomes a competition between my urge to write for someone and the urge to keep it hidden, away from everyone, from exposing myself, away from being perceived. I hated being perceived as much as I loved being known. So, I stopped writing.

I read books instead. The cowardly act of reading to hide my hunger for writing. I chickened out. I keep my hunger hidden, I act as if I have nothing to tell, the word I was supposed to bleed might have clotted now. Cowardy restricts them from flowing freely. Coward, a shameful lack of courage. It’s a proprium that best describes me, the only word I think I can associate myself with. My mind is filled with words I struggle to use, all that I know is the synonym of coward is myself.

Reading was not even enough for me to embrace the pieces that I came up with whenever I bleed, I never seem to write something good. I fear that someone may criticise my piece for being bland, I fear the feeling of being perceived, it is like standing in front of everyone, fully naked as I try to cover myself with words I’ve been using on a daily basis. Do not read what is within me. I fear that they might see the errors I tried to coat with beautiful words, or if they would catch the way I described the world with yearning to be good as if I never hated being on it. God, I hate it here.

I have piles of books under my bed, trying to hide the pieces I’ve written under it. And this is just one of the many pieces I’ve written, perhaps letting someone read this might have a decrease of cowardly merits I have collected. Or so I thought.

[haowus]

2023. 07. 24

I'm being creative again. Here are some shallow thoughts of mine.

I don't think there are contradictions between people who believe in God and people who believe laws of physics. It's really just different perspectives.

Physicians believe their responsibility is to reveal the truth though studying phenomenons. They describe what they found with the language of maths. To be precise, what they found are the reasonable description of physical phenomena which are written in the forms of equations. The ultimate force can be then effectively communicated by humans. Humans can corporate effectively to solve various problems.

Physicians have a vocabulary that someone has to learn and practice to be able to understand and express in that language.

Similarly, God's believers have to learn and practice God's words so one can communicate with God and one's neighbors and friends effectively. In this way, peace can be achieved in a believer's society.

In both cases, physicians and God's believers have to believe first, at least believe they will gain something in believing to begin with.

There is a saying in Swedish: a lovable child has many names. In the case of ultimate force, the names can be ultimate force, God, Truth, laws of physics or maybe Dao( I know very little about Daoism to be sure).

I know very little about God's words, but I would like to translate Darwinism into God's words. This translation is open for criticising.

Translation: God creates the world, animals, us and all the living creatures, but it takes time for Him to create. He creates the world first, and God in the world keeps shaping animals, humans and all the living creatures.

I see different ideas are the same thing of different perspectives. They are more similar to each other than they appear to be. It's like one person speaks Chinese and the other speaks English. When both of them talk about the same thing, they won't be able to realize they agree with each other.

On the other hand, other's perspectives and languages shape us too. We save this topic for another day.

As for me, I feel art is more universal and genuine than words. The art world is the Arena I want to be in.

[buqalamun]

10 years of Anki, a rambling reflection

I can't believe I've been using Anki for a decade.

(not the whole decade, as you can see. But it's 10 years ago today that I studied cards for the first time)

The beginning

11 years ago, I was studying abroad in Tajikistan. One of my classmates had learned Arabic and Persian really well in the same amount of time that it took me to get to a really mediocre level in just one language. He mentioned offhand that one of the keys to his success was a computer program called Anki, digital flashcards for daily vocabulary study.

Something about a magical algorithm that will show you vocabulary just before you're about to forget it... Spaced Repetition... I didn't really understand at the time, but hey, it worked for him!

Unfortunately, it took a year for me to follow his advice. I didn't care for the idea of spending ages in front of my computer to drill flashcards every day (I didn't have a smartphone, and I wouldn't get one for several years yet). And I didn't think I needed it! My memory was fine... Right?

But a year later, I was doing my MA in translation, and really struggling to keep my language skills sharp. I was learning loads of new words, but they fell out of my head as soon as I moved on to the next text. So I finally installed the program that would become my second brain, my backup language memory.

Now it's ten years later, and I study 5 languages with Anki. I spend about 20 minutes per day reviewing 200-300 cards. I've taken breaks and lost and regained interest several times over the course of 10 years, but I consider Anki a fundamental part of my language learning practice.

First, a disclaimer

Is Anki flawless and absolutely necessary to learn a language? No. There are just as many people who blindly venerate Anki as there are those who loudly criticise it.

It's not absolute magic, it's a tool - a machine that needs tinkering and maintenance to be used well. It's not a one-size-fits-all solution, but it is flexible enough to fit many different people's needs, if one is willing to figure out how to use it.

Its steep learning curve and depth are things that make it hard to recommend to other people. Showing someone Anki for the first time and explaining how I use it feels a bit like giving someone an empty notebook and telling them,

"This is my favourite book. It's revolutionized my studying!! But first, you should change the cover, because the one it comes with isn't great. Then you should adjust the tightness of the binding. Don't forget to use a special pen! And it doesn't have anything written in it yet, you have to add all of that yourself. And if you stop using it for more than a few days at a time, it becomes really difficult to catch up with. But it's my favourite notebook and it works really well if you use it right!"

Some people will love to customise it and get everything just right, and can get great results. Some people think this is way too much bother, and I totally respect that. How many hours did I spend learning Anki at the beginning, that I could have used to learn my languages? After 10 years, I'm sure I've broken even, but how can you be sure you'll stick with it?

(There are a lot of New and Suspended cards in my collection because I have imported a bunch of Subs2SRS decks, which serve as a mass sentence bank when I want to find how a word is used in context. I rely on that less and less now that I'm using Migaku, though - more on that below.)

My current routine

I do my daily reviews with AnkiDroid on my phone, in small chunks over the course of the day - during all those microbreaks, like waiting for a meeting to start, or standing in line, or on the bus. I used to do nearly all my cards during my morning bus commute, but I'm not commuting anymore! But having Anki in my pocket is essential; I've never been able to keep the habit of reviewing on the computer every day.

Once or twice a week, I open Anki on my computer so I can take advantage of some of the awesome add-ons, and more easily add and edit cards.

My must-have add-ons

These aren't all the add-ons I have installed, but they are the most impactful day-to-day.

Multi-column note editor: Save precious screen space for note types that have many fields (and you should have a lot of fields, to keep information separate, so you can move things around on your card freely. Don't you dare put translation/pronunciation/definition/audio/gender/notes/etc all in the same field!)

Straight Reward: Prevent 'ease hell'. It adjusts card ease based on how many times you get it right in a row (a streak/'straight'). It adjusts in batches, so it also works with mobile so long as you log in on the computer every so often.

Morphman: Wrangle Subs2SRS decks into shape. Calculates how many words you know, finds the sentences you know and the ones you should learn. Works best with Chinese and Japanese.

Migaku Dictionary (and Migaku Browser Extension - it isn't strictly an Anki add-on, but it connects to Anki): The dicitionary lets you look up words from the card browser and copy definitions with one click. The Browser Extension allows full audio sentence/definition cards from Netflix/Youtube/etc in a matter of clicks. Killer app for language learners while immersing with media.

New branches, new leaves, same tree

I love how Anki can adapt to different study methods over time. My card collection is a constantly evolving creature. I started with very basic one-word vocabulary cards... Then little by little I added things like pronunciation and example sentences... I moved to sentence cards, then audio cards. I thought things couldn't get any better than mass-importing Subs2SRS decks, especially with Morphman, and now I like the more targeted approach of hand-picked sentences with the Migaku extension.

Old leaves fall. New ones take their place. Branches are added. Flowers and fruits abound. The trunk itself grows larger. But the tree remains the very same.

-Edmond Privat

It's been with me across 4 phones, 3 computers, a tablet and an ebook reader. It has sentences from most of the books I've read in foreign languages over these years, quotes from friends and language partners, heartwarming moments from Cdramas I've watched, and many lines from movies, poems, and songs. I feel a little sentimental about my collection when I think about it in this way - it's been with me through so much, and I've put a lot of myself into it.

The deal you make with Anki

I've never been able to stick with any ~language learning apps~ for a long time. I don't like to stick to someone else's curriculum or someone else's pace, I want to do things my way. I want to design my cards exactly the way I like them. I want to learn from my favourite tv shows, I want to choose exactly the vocabulary that I prioritise.

Anki basically says: OK, choose whatever you want to learn. Set up your cards. And if you agree to check in every day, I'll make sure that material sticks in your memory. That's the deal. Well, I haven't always kept up my end of the bargain - sometimes I check in after a few weeks and find a big stack of cards waiting for me. But when it does work... It just works beautifully.

I hope this was helpful in some way

Lastly, some very quick Settings advice as a reward for reading this far: Keep New Cards/Day low, or they will sneak up on you later. Keep Maximum Interval high. Raise the Interval Modifier higher. Leech Threshold should be low, and the New Interval for Lapses should be at least 10% (mine is 20). Anki works best for long-term memory, not for time-sensitive things like exams. Plenty of people do use it in that way, but I can't give any advice on it :)

And most importantly - you control Anki, don't let it control you. If you're not having fun, if you're getting frustrated and not seeing any progress - You have the power to change things up. Adjust your material, adjust your cards or your settings. Take a break from new cards if you need to. If it's making you really miserable...walk away! It's not meant to be a torture device. It's a tool for you to use as you see fit.

If you're interested in reading more ramblings on Anki, I've written a lot more and shared some of my decks for Persian & Mandarin too.

[hellomynameisbisexual]

“The fear of rejection is twice as scary when the person looking out for you is not only is your parent, but they also have a higher responsibility of care because of your disability,” says Rian Hiney. As a bisexual, trans man, the 17-year-old has not only had to reveal his sexuality to his loved ones, but his gender identity, too.

Growing up being treated as a girl, Rian tells The Independent that he “never exactly felt ‘feminine’.”

“My mum used to try and dress me in pretty ‘girly’ dresses but all I remember is how I used to refuse and how uncomfortable I felt. I was constantly labelled a ‘tomboy’ and now that I am older, I totally detest the word," says Rian, who was born with an unknown condtion similar to quadreplegic cerebral palsy.

“It’s just a phase. You’re a tomboy. You’ll grow out of this’, whatever ‘this’ is’,” is the response that Rian became used to hearing.

“If I am going to be honest, when I was younger I didn’t even know what ‘this’ was, I just knew that ‘this’ wasn’t a phase, ‘this’ was me and there was nothing I could do to change ‘this’," he adds.

As Rian grew older, he gradually realised there was vocabulary - “trans” - to describe what he was feeling. The term describes a person who does not identify with the gender they were assigned with at birth, and therefore doesn't relate to a person's sexuality. But first, he had to deal with coming out as a bisexual.

“I initially came out as bisexual at the age of 15," he says. "I remember I first told my sisters and my friends. It wasn’t a massive shock to them and they actually took it quite well. I don’t think I really came out as bisexual to my parents, I just talked about bringing a girl or a boy or whoever home one day, and they had a hard time at first but they kind of accepted it. My mum did keep asking about it, ‘so who do you prefer,’ and what I got from my dad is ‘you’re missing the point, you silly girl’.”

But Rian still didn't feel quite right. Having been open about his sexuality, he was still uncertain to articulate his feelings about his gender identity without any role models to follow.

"When I first heard the word ‘transgender’, I initially thought of the offensive and outdated stereotypes of ‘cross-dressers’ and ‘lady boys’," he says. "There was no representation for me to look up to.” Rian slipped into a depression, and his sister noticed the red flagsof his mental health. With her support, Rian was able to open up about how the gender he was assigned at birth didn’t match up with how he truly felt inside.

“I just asked her, ‘What do you think of the name Rian?’, and we went from there. I told her everything.”

What frightened him was how his parents - who were responsible for his care - would react. "I didn’t want to feel like a 'disappointment' to my mum, and with my dad being your typical old fashioned conservative type of guy, I was very apprehensive."

"In the end, it wasn’t too bad. I just kind of came out with it spontaneously one day and my Dad's reaction really surprised me. He was quite calm about the whole thing and he has taken it within his stride. And apart from her at first teasing me about the name Rian (she didn’t like it at first), my mum has been fine."

Still, Rian's journey to acceptance was far from over. He quickly learned that while he was certain he was bisexual, the prejudice towards disabled people meant that others struggled to understand how he could have sexual feelings at all. And when he came out as trans, the prejudice he already faced was compounded by an unwanted fascination with his sexuality. Disappointingly, he discovered that while the disabled and LGBT communities are largely progressive and open, Rian didn't always feel accepted.

“Both communities regularly face other people’s nonsense. People being condescending, trying to teach you about gender and or disability, people treating your identity as a burden, and both communities are still fighting for their rights,” says Rian. Recent figures show that attacked on LGBT people have spiked by 80 per cent in the UK over the last four years, while the United Nations recently criticised the Government for failing to uphold the rights of disabled people following the implementation of austerity policies.

“Our sexual identities are constantly under critique,” he goes on. “Within the Trans community we are often overly sexualised. People do not see anything wrong with asking invasive questions about our genitals. Transwomen are often objects of sexual desire for straight cis‐men, but then still face violent transphobia from these cis‐men. Transmen and Transwomen aren’t looked at as ‘real’ men or women by some people, if they haven’t chosen to or been able to get surgery on their genitals.”

“On the other hand, people don’t think those who have a disability and in particular, wheelchair users have the right to be intimate. Some people can’t even comprehend it – someone at school recently said to me, ‘How can you be bisexual? You’re disabled and you can’t even have sex’. Trans people are hypersexualised and disabled people are desexualised. This is why people struggle to box me in.”

“I haven’t always felt embraced by the trans community as someone who has a disability. I have heard ableist comments made within the LGBTQI community and I have encountered ableism within LGBTQI ‘safe’ spaces numerous times. I often see people who are supposed to be allies making offensive ableist comments on social media during arguments and it is.”

So Rian is facing his situation by paving the way for others like him. He is currently on the board of Whizz-Kidz, the charity for young people who use wheelchairs, and hopes to act as a role model to other disabled and LGBT people.

He looks to a future where coming out is no longer necessary.

“I hope a time will come in the future where people won’t need to ‘come out.’ Instead people will just be allowed to ‘be’. I can’t see that happening in this generation to be honest, but I am confident that we are changing things enough so that people in the next generation will find things slightly easier. That’s what it is all about.”

[lucyreviewcy]

My Favourite Thing about Bill and Ted Face the Music

This weekend, I finally watched Bill and Ted Face the Music. Needless to say, I had a wonderful time. 

There’s a lot to love about Bill and Ted Face the Music. The energy of the original Bill and Ted films, along with their well-meaning, guileless humour. Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter are having a lovely time reprising their roles, through a story that you could criticise for being convoluted if you’d never seen a Bill and Ted movie before. 

The highlight though, is the characters of Billie and Thea. Samara Weaving and Brigette Lundy-Paine are outstanding as the wildly-clad daughters of the much loved duo. At a time when casting a woman in a role previously played by a man feels like a cynical box-ticking exercise, Bill and Ted Face the Music is an example of how this can really work. It doesn’t matter what gender Billie and Thea are, they could have cast men or women in these roles and the story would have been the same, and that is what makes it great. 

Billie and Thea are just like their dads, they have the same bizarre vocabulary and blind optimism. They have the same physicality, limbs everywhere, heads tilted back, they’re every bit as ungainly as 1989 Reeves and Winter. They are totally endearing, just as the original characters are. They’re the heart of the film. They’re also still women, but costumed in a way that neither detracts from nor draws attention to their gender. Gender doesn’t matter to these guys, they’re just well-rounded characters who are very easy to love. 

A problem I have with Jodie Whittaker in Doctor Who is that it feels like Whittaker somehow has far less personality than previous Doctors. As if the writers are afraid that too many jokes might make her too masculine or too feminine. The ultimate consequence of this is that Whittaker feels a bit like a principal boy in a pantomime, there to move the plot forward without actually having any memorable characteristics or lines. She doesn’t have David Tennant’s wit, Matt Smith’s eccentricity or Peter Capaldi’s rudeness, all that she has to mark her out from those other Doctors are she/her pronouns, and pronouns are not a personality. 

Thea and Billie are the success story of writing characters and not making their genders their primary characteristic. Co-creator Ed Solomon explained that there was no point in Bill and Ted’s children being boys, because they would have just been duplicate characters of their fathers. Casting women in these roles is empowering because these are rounded, interesting characters who propel much of the story forward, and who show a type of womanhood on screen that we haven’t seen much of before. These are well meaning, occasionally a little dim, passionate, comic women, whose love of music and knowledge of it propels them through their story. Yes, changing their genders differentiates them from their fathers, but the characters also differ in their musical competence which is shown to far outweigh Bill and Ted’s. These characters are more than just “girl Bill” and “girl Ted”, they are a whole new iteration on those characters. 

Not seeing somebody’s gender as the be-all and end-all of who they are is an ideal way to be excellent to each other, and it’s what equality looks like. 

[linguisticty]

... I only read to the point where you implied that Donna Tartt is anti-Semitic because a character clearly framed as morally bankrupt said something anti-Semitic. That is not how you read. Portrayal is not endorsement. I am Jewish. I’m capable of understanding that Bunny’s line is meant to be read as negative. Donna wants us to understand that he’s disgusting. This is basic literacy, which your analysis displays none of.

my point isn't that that makes her anti-semitic. my point is that she's using harmful stereotypes to portray a bigoted, morally corrupt character when she could have shown the same thing without using said stereotypes. and those stereotypes are anti-semitist. you don't need to use harmful stereotypes and slurs to portray a character's flaws. and before you say that it's just in a book,

1. a lot of people learn english by reading books and that is extremely harmful since you're normalizing those slurs in that person's vocabulary

2. it wasn't just in the speech of morally corrupt characters, you would know if you had read the full thing

3. she has no claim over these stereotypes or slurs, she does use them in her personal life as far as we can know (see the last section of my post for real life references to her bigotry)

4. you took what i said out of context and tried to twist it into what you wanted to say

5. your lack of respect is astounding. just because someone disagrees with you, it does not give you the right to say my analysis, and by implication, me, does not have "basic literacy".

i study and do literary analysis and interpretations for a living, it's my major and i'm damn fucking good at it. an interpretation done without tartt's personal life and therefore utilising roland barthes' theory of the death of the author and sartre's interpretation on his what is literature?, following his ideas that the reader completed the literary work and the author only does not have any imput on how the job is portrayed, you can see how tartt's works can be taken as extremely bigoted, as well as anti-semitist.

when you disregard both of them and decide to take her personal life, opinions and actions in consideration, you will realise that she is a bigoted person herself and has the tendency to lie and/or avoid the truth when it comes to the accuracy of her works. tartt believes she is always right and acts like it, she refuses to be made aware of how social issues actually are. consider reading and watching through the last section of my post, if you'd like to disregard what can be easily interepreted without any complex literary analysis.

anyways, if you want to criticise my post, feel free to do so. just have some basic fucking respect and don't take things out of context. just because i'm a blogger on this hellsite, does not mean i am not an actual person with feelings and thoughts.

[notalittlebutalottie]

Hybrid!klaus cursed by witches into a haze of fever headache body pain and just slightly toned down version of all the side effects of a hybrid bite, and (established KC or not up to you) Caroline takes care of him.

Thank you for this wonderful request! I’m imagining that after season 6, Caroline moves to Boston to try and gain some of that sweet independence (just a little. Can’t go mad with it all at once) and Klaus turns up in need of a safe place to hide out while he experiences the effects!

♡ KLAROLINE DRABBLE #49: What Goes Around...♡

“Thank you, Caroline,” Klaus’ voice is constricted by his swelling throat, the croak more evident now. He had turned up at her home in the early hours of the morning, uncharacteristically rambling about witches and hybrid bites. She didn’t have time to ask how he knew her address (not even Bonnie could remember it without texting first) when he stumbled in. Once she was able to calm him down and relieve herself of the shock, he explained the curse placed on him by three particularly frustrated witches. Seventy-two hours, cursed with the effects of a hybrid bite. It left him vulnerable enough to seek refuge outside of New Orleans, it seemed.

Caroline simply nods before leaving him to shiver under the blanket she had fished from her cupboard; it was one of the few items she had brought on the move to Boston. “You’re welcome.” It’s short. Not cold but not inviting either. She finds herself unable to decipher her feelings about this sudden visit. She knew that one day she would go to him, that, by leaving Mystic Falls a year earlier, she had triggered the countdown. But this wasn’t how she had pictured their reunion. If she’s completely honest, she had been betting on some tell me about it, stud moment, leather pants and all (the singing was optional — come to think of it, she wasn’t sure if Klaus could carry a tune). When she settles onto the armchair opposite the couch, she offers a soft opening of conversation, “It’s not exactly what I thought I’d be doing on my summer vacation.”

He strains to chuckle and it’s a confusing scene. The last time they had been in such positions, he was cursing out as she withheld aid. And though she enjoys seeing him receive a taste of his own medicine, such a resigned acceptance of suffering doesn’t suit him.

“I suppose you must be delighted to see me like this, sweetheart,” he pauses and she can hear the wheeze in his breath, “after all I put you through. I’m sorry.”

It’s a word not found in his vocabulary and it sounds wrong in what is usually his confident, drawling accent. Still, the memories of a similar, more deadly, infliction flood her mind. If she were alone, she might grasp at her neck. She’s sure that the girl she was back then would encourage her to twist the knife and enjoy his current predicament. She can’t. Her throat is strangled for a moment but she flits her fingers and manages to say, “That was years ago.”

His head is propped up awkwardly against a dull, mauve cushion, eyes watching her with the utmost care despite his own suffering. He speaks firmer this time, pushing through a shuddering breath, “And yet the searing pain and cold sweat I am in reminds me only of that.”

She stares at him, refusing to let her lashes even flicker, too afraid that she might display some deep-seeded emotion. She quickly scoffs and picks up the cup of tea sitting before her. “Don’t be such a drama queen.”

“I’ve never been more serious,” his voice is a little higher and she can detect the slight wobble. He’s now staring at the ceiling and it’s in this moment that she can examine the sickening sight of pale, damp skin. Thankfully, his new inclination towards theatrics maintains her focus, “This is agony, so close to the brink of death but with no reprieve.”

“I think I’d rather be bitten again at this rate,” she murmurs in between sips of tea. She finds the scrunch in his nose to be pathetic enough that she places the cup onto the coffee table and smiles sympathetically. “I guess there is a silver lining here, though.”

His eyes flutter shut for a moment. “What could that possibly be?” he asks tiredly and rolls his head in her direction.

She leans into the chair, her fingers sinking into the hard-cushioned arms of it. “Now that you know it freaking sucks,” her eyes widen animatedly, “maybe you’ll think twice about inflicting the same on others.”

Against all odds, he manages a smile but it’s a deadly one, one she’ll scold herself for flushing at the sight of later. “On the contrary, I’ve come to find this is a wonderful punishment for those who might think to defy me,” he replies so matter-of-factly that she isn’t even sure why she had expected any Scrooge-like epiphany from him. It’s takes another moment before he adds in earnest, “Except you, of course.”

Caroline parts her lips to prepare her rebuttal (whether it’s to criticise or poke fun, she hadn’t decided), but seeing him so....wounded has been enough for her to bear any more of his Shakespearean laments. He’s rather lucky that she’s missed him more than she had anticipated because instead, she presses her lips into a smile and echoes, “Of course.”

[raviolifeathers]

tbhk/jshk supernatural dictionary and index (may have manga spoilers):

since i haven't seen one as of far and i think it would be useful vocabulary wise. please feel free to criticise or ask to add on to.

Apparition : a ghost unattached to its living self, like a new identity. (see hanako san of the toilet, or new no⁰3)

Akane clan: a clan who's daughters would be sacrificed to the gods to keep supernaturals at bay during sumire's time. there seems to be a tradition of being cold or unattached to akane girls. (see sumire, see aoi akane)

Assistant : a human who's bond with an entity makes them become their helper whether by spreading rumours or breaking yorishiros (see sakura and nene)

Boundary : a place between far and near shore characterised by water flowing through it constantly. (see hanako in no°2's domain, the domain of doors, and the festival grounds) may be a domain.

Domain : the main 'home' of a school mystery, where they are strongest. (see all school mysteries except no°1)

Entity : a very broad term for any being that can think or feel. (see mokke, nene, tsuchigomori, and sumire)

Exorcist: one who has a heightened 6th sense and can see supernaturals. Can also fight them and banish them to the far shore with the proper weapon. (see minamoto clan)

Far Shore : basically the land of the dead, nobody can return from it (see hanako's explanation when entering first boundary)

Ghost : a soul who's living body has died, but is tethered to the near shore. maybe because of unfinished business (see 'first' mitsuba)

Guardian : an entity (usually spirit) created/tasked with the purposed to guard something (maybe see no⁰5, maybe see no⁰6, see no⁰4)

Memory Spirit: unlike an apparition, these are *spirits* based off of people made with the memories of someone else. has no actual part of the person in them. (see no⁰4, maybe tsukasa, and sumire)

Minamoto Clan: a clan of powerful exorcists who use lightning based weapons. used to sacrific children to the gods during sumire's time. (see sumire's boundary, see teru minamoto, see kou minamoto and his introduction)

Mind : is the memories of a person. (see second mitsuba death)

Near Shore : basically the land of the living. some entities that should be in the far shore reside here for multiple reasons. (see hanako's explanation)

Puppet : a soul/mind in a shell not connected at all to its original body.(see tsukasa and his mitsuba experiments)

Reflection : the form a ghost or apparition takes after death to reflect its former self. how similar it is to the dead body varies. (non-canonical term) (see mitsuba in first form)

RI : 'rumour influence' is power humans have over near shore entities. if most humans perceive an entity in a specific way, that entity must conform or disappear from the near shore. (see mokke, see mitsuba, see radio box, see yako/no°2)

School Mystery : an entity that has become a sort of 'leader' or 'main' entity after enough school gossip/being fed power. Limited positions(?) and have a yorishiro. (see mitsuba death and hanako's explanation)

Shell : an entity or multiple entities twisted/molded into a new vessel. no soul inside. (see tsukasa and his mitsuba experiments)

Soul : unlike a mind, a soul holds everything abstract including the mind, emotions, rationalality, personality and sometimes reflection of an entity (see tsukasa and mitsuba)

Spirit : an entity 'born' into the role of supernatural. was never human. (see no°2/yako, future, and past)

Supernatural : an entity that is not human or can be explained by logical science means. Possibly all tethered to the far shore. (see school mysteries, spirits, and ghosts)

Vessel : what an entity looks like, or its "body". May shape shift (see yako/no⁰2)

Yorishiro : characterised by a black seal, it is an object (or person, see sumire) that has a strong (usually emotional) connection to a school mystery. if the seal is broken, then the school mystery becomes too weak to fill its position. (see no°2 scissors, no°5 rock, and no°4 journal) assistants may see the memories locked inside this object (see nene when seal breaking)

[worldwidemochiguy]

Hello!! I just.. was hoping maybe I could get some advice on writing, I love your work so much! 💜

hi!!! thank you so much im rly glad you enjoy my shitty little unedited fics lmao

uhhhhhhh honestly i don’t have too much advice for writing and the stuff i do have to say is either a) painfully obvious b) copied from other advice posts lmao or c) stuff that i don’t even manage to do, buuuuuuut since you asked ill say anyway, but like, prepare to be severely underwhelmed

(ill add a read more thing when i can be bothered to fetch my laptop lol)

1. know what you want to write! this isn’t to say you can’t just like write whatever tf you want just for fun when the inspiration strikes bc you know, you do you, but it really does help if you know what you’re writing about. and not just, for example, ‘they go and get coffee together and then they flirt and then they kiss’ (although having a plot also helps obviously) but like - what are you trying to say with this fic? to its core - is it about loneliness? sadness? hope? companionship? (this is a tip i do not follow myself but wish i did lmao)

but also yeah remember what your plot is and make sure that everything makes sense basically. every scene should be there for a reason - plot development or character development. also, it’s really cool if you can intertwine these things. like, how does the character think and feel about what’s happening and how do they act to drive the plot forwards and why would they do that?

2. themes are cool, maybe not necessary or anything, but still cool. same rule applies to metaphors. however! if you feel like you have to shoehorn these things in and it doesn’t feel natural then don’t do it, and don’t add them just so that they’re in there, they should have like actual relave ce to the plot or character. each person has their own style and trying to force a certain way of writing probably won’t be fun to write or read. not to say that you can’t experiment with genres and/or style! but just, like, don’t think that you have to add something in to make it sound good. there are no rules for writing anyone who says otherwise is pedantic and you have no obligation to listen to them ! 💕

3. try and make sure you really know your characters. like, you could answer any question about them. a cool thing to do which can be fun and useful is to do personality quizzes in the character of who you’re writing, especially the meyers Briggs ones or like sorting hat quizzes. it can help you to get a deeper look at their personality also if they’re maybe not fully developed yet it forces you to think about these things and make decisions. this will also help with the plot and the character’s role in it! if you make them do actions that seem out of character it might feel less believable or engaging, but once you understand and develop the character more then this is less likely to happen.

4. i’ve said it before and i’ll undoubtedly say it again. practice makes perfect (or… improvement at least!). when i first started writing proper ‘fanfic’ i was 13 and it was about twilight if Bella and Edward actually had twins instead of just renesmee and the second child was kidnapped. as you can imagine, it was not very good!! but i continued to write and (im hoping lol) improve. i would even say i’ve improved in the nine months i’ve had this blog (omg almost a year now 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺) even if you feel like you aren’t improving and you read your things and think they’re awful, that’s actually good! bc (bear with me lol) it means your mind is becoming more critical as you understand more about writing and you improve. it does however have the side effect of criticising whatever you write which is... not fun! lmao

5. read! i’ve also said this one before but idc. reading helps your own improvement so much and im literally not even going to elaborate bc like that’s it. reading rly rly helps. it widens your vocabulary and helps you get used to varying sentence structures and see how plots can come together and inspire you. idk why my brain is just failing to work properly and form sentences that make sense but yeah. reading good.

but yeah that’s kind of it. just write what you want to write honestly, and then everything else will start to happen after a while.

[catsafarithewriter]

Vampire AU: "You can't just turn into a bat and fly away when you don't want to deal with things!" "Watch me!"

A/N: I am living for all the Vampire AU prompts you’re sending

x

Haru had had this holiday planned for months. 

She’d booked the weekend off in February, the site in March; she’d even made a nice little list of things they’d need, and things they’d want, and things they’d almost certainly forget if she didn’t put it down on paper. 

In short, she had had this camping holiday planned long before Baron had come into the picture. 

And vampire-sitting wasn’t on any of the lists.

“It’s just a holiday,” she assured as she threw a handful of clothes into her rucksack. “I’ll be away for a few days and then I’ll be back, no biggie.”

“No… biggie?” Baron echoed skeptically. 

“There’s literally nothing for you to worry about,” she translated. “In fact, I’ll be far more worried about leaving you behind - and no,” she quickly added, “that doesn’t mean I’ve changed my mind and you can come. My holiday. My two days of peace and quiet. You just stay here and stew in front of the TV watching soap operas for two days. Please.”

“I still don’t entirely understand the point of your excursion. You are staying out in the woods in a rickety tent for… what? What kind of holy day requires this sort of ritual?”

“I said it’s a holiday, not a holy day, what are you–” She broke off. “Good god, you don’t know what a holiday is, do you?”

Baron, as usual, looked somewhat affronted at having his outdated vocabulary criticised again. “If words have adapted in the last 400 years, I hardly think it is a surprise–”

“You don’t. You poor, poor man.” She hesitated, and then amended, “Creature. Monster? Look, I’m not entirely sure what to refer to you as - and, no, ‘monster of the night’ is far too much of a mouthful and I’m not saying it. Okay, I’m going away for the weekend to get away from work and responsibilities and I’m going to have fun. That’s what a holiday is.” 

Baron started to speak again. 

“A vampire-free weekend,” she added.

“I still feel it is highly inadvisable for a young lady to spend several nights sleeping the woods.”

“Just as well I’m not taking advice then, isn’t it? And stop pouting - I’m not going alone. Hiromi’s coming with me.”

“Ah yes. Hiromi.”

“You could sound less like you’re dribbling the name off your tongue. What do you have against her? You only ever met her once.”

Baron hesitated. “She… creeps me out.”

“You. The ‘monster of the night’. Are creeped out by my tiny friend. I left you in the same room together alone for all of two minutes. What happened??”

Baron’s mouth thinned. Haru recognised that look.��

“Oh dear, was she not instinctively terrified and reverential to your impressive vampire aura?” she crooned. “What a shocker. How traumatic that must have been for you–”

“I have spent enough time in this century to recognise sarcasm, Haru.”

“Oh thank goodness. You’re finally getting a sense of humour.” 

“That’s not–” He scowled again. “I still don’t like this.”

“That’s fine. I’m still going.” She threw her rucksack over her shoulder just as a car horn announced her ride’s arrival. “Try not to eat all the prunes in the first day, okay? I haven’t left you any grocery money.” 

“I don’t need money.”

She bapped him on the nose the same way she did with naughty dogs. “No stealing into shops in the dead of night and raiding them. If any robberies get traced back here, I will not help you.”

“Don’t worry. They’ll never trace it back here.”

Haru stared. “That’s not what I meant – look, just behave, okay? You can surely do that for a weekend, right? Please?” 

Baron’s mouth was thin, but in defeat this time. “I will not cause chaos here while you’re gone.”

“Close enough.”

x

The air in the forest was almost like the air Baron remembered from his life pre-400-year-nap. There was no need to breathe for him, but he could still taste the discrepancies in the breeze, the clarity far from cars and cities and people. Wild. Untamed. Free…

A bundle of hikers popped out from a thicket of ferns and blindly relocated the path. One of them held the remains of a map. The human with the map approached Baron. Yet another human who had somehow lost that vital survival instinct. 

“Hey, I don’t suppose you know whereabouts we are on here?” the woman asked, thrusting the torn paper towards him. 

He flashed her a fanged smile. “You’re in the monster’s lair.”

“Hmm, no, I don’t think so… I think the Devil’s Punchbowl was down that way, so…” She turned the map around a few times. “Yeah, the sun is that way, and the valley is behind us, so east is…” 

“Don’t you know what I am?” he tried again, injecting a slight growl into the curve of his words.  

“Very bad at directions, apparently.” 

“I’ve got signal!” One of the other humans hurried forward and brought their phone into the light, carefully as if carrying some hallowed item. “It seems to think we’re… here. Don’t-don’t move it, or I’ll lost it again, but…”

Baron caught sight of a miniaturised map on the phone screen, a small blue dot flashing in the centre. 

The woman shot Baron back a smile, all blunt teeth and useless canines, and nodded politely. “Looks like we’ve got our bearings. Do you need directions somewhere or…”

“I don’t need your help.” 

She raised an eyebrow. “Sure, but you probably should be moving soon. It’s getting dark and you probably shouldn’t be in these woods alone at night.”

Baron watched the hikers vanish into the undergrowth with a fresh layer of incredulity. His mind rebooted after the last of the ferns rustled back into place. “I’m the scariest thing in this forest!” he snapped. 

The forest didn’t seem too impressed.

A squirrel ran along the tree roots and paused to pick at acorns scattering the forest floor. Baron bared his fangs in a snarl. The squirrel continued on unaffected. 

In the end, Baron threw an acorn at it to make it leave. 

Twice. 

The first one missed and the squirrel actually stopped to pick at it, and almost approached Baron to see if he’d give another. The second acorn still missed, but was close enough to startle the creature. 

Maybe the problem wasn’t humans. Maybe after 400 years, he was just losing his touch. 

He glowered and leapt up into the trees, scaling the trunks and moving silently through the canopy until he came to the tent where Haru and her… friend were staying the next two nights.

He wasn’t following Haru. Of course he wasn’t. He just… had thought that an evening stroll into a wood would be a nice change of pace. If it happened to be the same forest Haru was staying in and he just happened to pass by, well then, it was only natural to stick around and make sure she was okay. After all, she was his host. If he lost her, he’d had to find somewhere else to live. With someone who maybe didn’t have the channels with good soap operas, or who didn’t buy him tinned prunes, or who didn’t tell him how their day had gone while they were cooking and laugh at odd things that the 21st Century deemed funny and curl up like a housecat while reading.

And that would be a shame. 

Night was fast drawing in, even with the long summer days, and the two women had set several lanterns in a loose circle around their tent. Their little temporary home was a gentle patch of light in the otherwise shadowed forest. Like a little moon. 

Baron perched in a tree just beyond the lanterns’ glow and kept guard, his back to them as he watched the forest for any hidden dangers. Their conversation - louder than the conversation Haru and Baron usually shared, rambunctious and bouncy - was a strange sort of company for him, but not one he disliked. Eventually they gave in against sleep and retired into their tent and it was just Baron, sleepless and eternal. 

He dropped down to the ground, approaching to stomp out the last embers of the fire, and hit a wall. 

No. Not a wall. But definitely a barrier of some type. 

He circled the makeshift campsite, but the barrier seemed to encompass the entirety of the shared women’s tent - including the fire. He stepped back and re-examined his surroundings, eventually resting his gaze on the lanterns. They were placed evenly around the tent - too evenly. Too precisely. He lowered his gaze and now saw marks in the ground - carved out with a stick, most likely - to create a warding spell. Designed to keep creatures like him out. 

But Haru knew no such magic…

“So what’s your deal, huh?” 

Haru’s friend was leaning casually against a tree trunk within the circle, still in pyjamas but with a chunky wooden stick slung over one shoulder. A stake. A glint of metal at its tip. Silver. 

Instinctively his mouth curled into a snarl, 

Hiromi swung the stake into her hands. “Oh, so you recognise this, do you? I used to have a much fancier one, family heirloom in fact, until it got… uh, stuck in a creature like you. Luckily the important details aren’t hard to replicate. Wooden stake, silver-tipped, a few important runes in place and bam. Perfect vampire-killer.”

“I knew there was something off about you.”

She laughed, presumably emboldened by the protection of her spell, and pointedly stared back at him. “Hark who’s talking. You’re not so hot yourself, slick. Now, how about you tell me what you’re doing with my best friend and I might reconsider staking you into permanent sleep.” 

“I’m not doing anything to her,” Baron retorted. “She’s my host.” He winced at the bad word choice, quick to correct himself. “Not in… not in a vampire way. She lets me stay with her.”

“Why?”

“Kindness, she told me.” 

Hiromi snorted, and all of Baron’s surprise at Haru’s reasoning felt a little belittled. “Naturally her kindness ends up inviting a vampire into her home. Naturally. God, I love her, but her kindness gets her into all sorts of chaos, you know?”

“If you know my kind as well as you boast, then you’ll know I haven’t touched Haru,” he said, his tone sharp, sharper still for the dismissal. “Even a single drink from a human leaves its marks.”

Hiromi glowered, and Baron could see she had already checked as much. “You’ll be drinking from someone.” 

“Do you really think I’d be foolish enough to drink from a person in a world I know so little about? Please,” he scoffed, mimicking the tone Haru had thrown so often at him. “Give me a little credit.”

“Then where are you drinking from?”

“There are other things vampires can survive on. Animal blood. Eggs.” He hesitated. “Prunes.” 

“Seriously?”

He allowed a flicker of irritation to darken his face. “Would I joke under such circumstances?”

“I don’t know. I’ve met several vampires with a sense of humour. And before you say anything,” she added, “I didn’t kill all of them. Only those with a fondness for human blood. Still, prunes are a first.”

“We all have our weaknesses,” Baron muttered. 

“Uh-huh, and one of yours may be my best friend.” She considered. “For whatever reason, Haru seems to… tolerate you to a surprising degree - I don’t know what she sees in you, because it certainly isn’t your humour or your manners or your personality–”

“Is this going somewhere?”

“–so I won’t tell you to get out of her place. But–” and she swung the stake so it rested between them, on the tip of the invisible barrier “–if you touch one hair on her head, one little drink, one single bite, if you give in to your vampire urges for even the briefest second, I will stake you, understand?”

“Perfectly.”

“Then we come to an understanding.”

“I’m not going to harm Haru. Even before your threat, I wasn’t going to harm her.”

Hiromi gave him a strange, searching look that Baron wasn’t entirely sure he liked. Like she understood him better than he understood himself in that single moment. Then the moment passed and she threw a bark of a laugh and turned away. “You should be going before all this wakes Haru up.”

“But–”

“What were you even doing here? She’s your host, sure. But the home she’s sharing with you is all the way over that way. Why come all the way out here?” Her eyes narrowed. “Unless you were thinking about a late night snack while away from the city…?”

Baron bristled at the accusation. Still, he wasn’t even entirely sure of the answer himself. “I… The forest is a dangerous place for humans.”

“Yes. Because of creatures like you.”

“Sometimes.” 

Hiromi smirked. “Well you needn’t have worried, if that’s true. If you can worry. Can you?” She shrugged and continued before Baron could muddle through an answer. “I can take down pretty much anything of your like. And a few others as well.” 

He eyed the stake. “Apparently.”

There was a grumble from the tent, followed by movement. 

Hiromi made a face. “Shit. Get going before we have to start explaining.” 

“You don’t tell me what to do.” 

The tent flap opened and Baron dissolved into a swarm of bats, vanishing before Haru could see his human shape. He lingered just long enough to see Hiromi’s smirk widen, and see Haru spot his bat form disappear into the dark. 

To echo Hiromi: Shit.

x

Haru found him early the next morning. 

The light was still low, long shadows cast through the forest canopy and just dim enough for Baron to remain safe from the rapidly warming sunlight. Lord, he hated summer. 

She stalked out of the tent, obliviously out of the protection spell, and stopped by the dip of a river. The water was caught in an eddy, courtesy of the rocks channelling it, and it churned like a… well, a punchbowl. As Haru sat down by its cooling side, he wondered if this was the Devil’s Punchbowl those infernal hikers had been rambling on about. 

“I know you’re there.”

He jolted, and was optimistic enough to think that maybe she was talking to somebody else. 

She shattered that illusion pretty quickly, dropping her head back in his general direction and adding, “Baron.” 

He dropped down from the trees, barely making a sound as he landed on the forest floor. “How did you know I was there?”

“I can always tell. It feels like someone walked over my grave.” She paused, and added, “And then there was last night.”

“Ah.”

“Did… Did Hiromi see you? Or did you stay in your bat form the entire time?”

He considered. If she didn’t know, then Hiromi hadn’t seen fit to inform Haru about her true occupation or her awareness of Baron’s. He considered revealing Hiromi’s monster-hunting life, but quickly discarded it. Haru had only seen his version of vampires - and however he wished to be rightfully intimidating, he was by far not the worst vampire out there. There were vampires out there that would make even his skin crawl. 

Vampires that Hiromi had probably encountered, if her boasts were anything to go by. Vampires her family almost certainly had. Tales of bloodlust and slaughters and a carelessness for human life that would turn the stomach of anyone humane. Tales that might be shared with Haru if Hiromi’s true life came to light. And Hiromi would have little reason to hide such stories from Haru. 

Stories that would change the way Haru looked at him. 

“Baron?” Haru gave an uneasy chuckle. “Oh god, tell me you didn’t do anything stupid. Again.”

“She didn’t see me,” he lied. 

“It was close though.”

He didn’t meet her eyes. “Close enough.”

“I can’t believe this. I told you to stay at my flat. You said you would behave–”

“I said I would not cause chaos in your flat,” Baron said. He helpfully gestured to their forested surroundings. “We are not in your flat.”

“I am going to kill you.” 

“You can’t.”

“Stake you, then.” She made a frustrated nonsense movement like she couldn’t quite decide which rude gesture to throw at him, and kind of spun on the spot. 

He smiled, and then looked away before she could see it. 

“How would I even begin to explain what you were doing all the way out here? ‘Heya, Hiromi, meet my flatmate, he stalks me but it’s fine, I promise. Sleep? Oh no, he doesn’t sleep - he’ll just turn into a swarm of bats and hang around until daybreak.’ I mean, honestly, what was I going to – what are you grinning about? I’m being serious here!”

“I know.” 

“Then what’s so funny?”

He looked back to her, and wasn’t sure how to explain it wasn’t humour, but a strange sensation of contentedness. It was a fondness for the familiarity he saw in her. It was in her bluster, her teasing tone, the tilt of her head and the flicker of her eyes. He knew exactly where he stood with her in this exact moment, and it wasn’t because of his ability to intimidate, but because of her. 

He said none of this, however.

“Did I ever thank you for giving me a place to stay?” he said instead. 

“Maybe. I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I’d kinda stopped expecting it.”

“Then thank you.”

A surprised tilt of the head. A funny half-smile on her lips. “You’re welcome?”

Suddenly Baron knew that if he were still human, he’d be blushing right about now. As things went, he couldn’t be sure his expression wasn’t betraying just as much anyway. He looked away again. “Well, I can see you’re managing just fine without me, so I’ll just be going--”

“Wait, wait, you’re still in trouble for stalking me here--”

His form began to shift, deliberately slow enough so that realisation could hit Haru before he dissolved into a swarm of bats. 

“Hey! You can’t just turn into a bat and fly away when you don’t want to deal with things!” she snapped. “Baron!”

He grinned before his face vanished in a haze of wings and fur. “Watch me.”

[wtfzodiacsigns]

How the signs express their emotions

Look at your moon sign.

Aries: You’re impulsive. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you tend to put your heart in everything. That’s something you want to hang onto. Your passion is what makes you unique and when it comes to relationships (platonic/familial/romantic) you give 100%. In arguments and fights, you can get explosive and may even resort to violence. Honestly, this is all Mars’s fault. When it comes to good news, you may become animated and loud (almost childlike) - wanting to let the whole world know just how happy you are. When in love, you can get quite intense and dedicate a lot of your time to your significant other. Try to think before you say things you’ll regret as not everyone is as forgiving as you.

Taurus: You’re grounded. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you tend not to provide much of a reaction at all. Your thoughts and feelings mostly stay in your mind, unless the situation is out of control and there’s a lot at stake. You prefer to understand what you’re feeling and process them before acting. But the bull inside you will come out eventually if you bottle up your emotions for too long. This can be as explosive as Aries, if not more. And the slightest thing might trigger it. In arguments and fights, you can become quite brutal. When it comes to good news, you might prefer to be a bit more muted but it’ll be obvious how happy you are given your expressions of joy. When in love, that Venusian aspect of you is at home and your love for your partner is there for the whole world to see. Try to air out your issues before they become too significant. Maybe instead of the bull, we’ll get the better-tempered calf.

Gemini: You’re robotic. It’s not that you don’t feel emotions, you just prefer not to. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you’ll be quite relaxed and nonchalant. You prefer things that can be analysed logically rather than dealt with emotionally. In arguments and fights, you’ll most likely debate and give out witty remarks rather than get violent. Maybe even turn it into a joke. Mercury is responsible for this. When it comes to good news, you can get quite giddy and excited. So many ideas start swimming in that mind of yours that never seems to stop whirring. But there’s also a distance there, like you’re already thinking about the negatives. When in love, you become innocent and nervous. Anxiety can be an issue. Try not to overthink so much and just be in the moment. Emotions aren’t meant to be scary, as long as you know how to deal with them.

Cancer: You’re empathetic. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you prefer to keep things on the inside and deal with them when you’re on your own. You like to retreat in your shell (home) where you feel safe and comfortable. In arguments and fights, you can become quite manipulative because of your emotional intelligence. You might shift the blame onto the other person and have a tendency to hold grudges. When it comes to good news, you feel whole and sincere like everything is lined up perfectly. Sometimes joy will get you emotional just as much as sadness will. When in love, you offer it unconditionally. This is where the nurturing Moon comes into play. You love taking care of your significant other. Try to let go of things and be a bit more easygoing. Maybe then will you realise that you don’t need to retreat so often.

Leo: You’re dramatic. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you want the whole world to know how you’re feeling. This is because of the pride you have in everything that you do. Blame the Sun for this. In arguments and fights, you may resort to putting the opposition down by pointing out their insecurities. Your pride will enable you to see others as inferior and you may not even care to argue with them at all, preferring not to waste your time. When it comes to good news, you’ll want to show off to everyone. You enjoy the chance to show off your achievements especially to the people who doubted you. When in love, it’s a spectacle. Your affection knows no limits and your significant other will never be bored. Try to come back down to earth every once in a while so you can appreciate the things that really matter.

Virgo: You’re critical. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you tend to over-analyse everything. This is due to Mercury and causes you to be extremely self-aware. In arguments and fights, you will point out all the faults in the other person with receipts to back it up. You definitely come prepared. When it comes to good news, you can enjoy it for a little while before a sense of dread settles in and then it’s back to reality. You worry about your happiness being taken away, not realising that that in itself is what causes it to go in the first place. When in love, much like Gemini, you become nervous. Butterflies occupy your stomach and you see your significant other as this incredible being, even you not able to criticise them. Try to enjoy what’s been given to you and understand that the idea of things being perfect is nonexistent.

Libra: You’re objective. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you prefer seeing both sides of the story before making any judgement. In arguments and fights, you tend to avoid them altogether. You see no sense in confrontation and want things to be peaceful and harmonious all of the time. This is where Venus comes in. When it comes to good news, you feel complete and that everything is right in the world. You stay rational and weigh out the pros and cons though. You are an air sign after all. When in love, you see things through rose-coloured glasses and can get a little superficial. You’re romantic and flirty and will want to shower your partner with love. Try to come to terms with the fact that not everything on this earth is beautiful and that ugliness exists. Don’t let that get in the way of your positivity though, the thing about Libra is balance.

Scorpio: You’re intense. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you feel things deeply. But you’re complex so you also seem detached. You manage to see into other people’s souls and for that reason can become greatly affected by the actions of others. In arguments and fights, you know just what to say to make the other person feel awful. You’re deadly, there’s no denying that. When it comes to good news, you prefer to be happy with your closest friends. The ones who know the softer side to you. When in love, intimacy is extremely important and you value sex and affection. You can become possessive and protective, craving a relationship that’s more of an experience rather than a fling. Try not to take things to heart too much and find a middle ground for you to express yourself. There are numbers between 0 and 100 you know.

Sagittarius: You’re lighthearted. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you tend to let things go quite easily and are able to move on without too much hassle. This is because you’re the student and you believe that mistakes must be made for you to move forward. In arguments and fights, it’s easy for you to lose control a little bit and say things you’ll regret. You’re charm will come in handy as a tool for apologising though as your anger subsides quickly. When it comes to good news, you become playful and charismatic. You want to hang out with the people that you care about and live in the moment. When in love, you offer your partner freedom and seek a relationship that is a journey. One where the both of you grow and change together. Try not to get too riled up as your charm won’t always work when you say something hurtful.

Capricorn: You’re realistic. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you seem to know the minimum effort required in a situation. You need the extra energy for the stuff that’s really important. Or at least important to you (aspirations). The Saturn in you makes you great at managing your discipline and resources. In arguments and fights, you only get involved if it’s really worth your time. You will command your authority and state point by point why the other person is wrong and you are right. When it comes to good news, you deal with it accordingly as if it were another task. When in love, you’re easily content and are very reliable as long as they are ok with you pursuing your goals. PDA is not something you’re a fan of. Try to enjoy yourself a little more and give yourself time to breathe and take a break. You won’t regret it I promise.

Aquarius: You’re aloof. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you seem to be surrounded by a bubble with not much being able to get through to you. Not a lot of things affect you and that’s because you’re focused on the bigger picture. In arguments and fights, you don’t even bother as they’re a waste of your brainpower. You might just point out calmly why you think the other person is an idiot using vocabulary they’re probably not familiar with. Oh well. You don’t feel anger that much so it’s hard to get under your skin. When it comes to good news, you’re more than happy to go out with your closest friends and chat about topics that interest you. Being yourself keeps you healthy. When in love, you like to be independent and prefer to treat your partner as a friend. Romance is not something you care for. Try to be a bit more in tune with your feelings instead of observing everything from afar. It’s good to immerse yourself and experience things firsthand.

Pisces: You’re intuitive. Whether it’s a positive or negative reaction, you are able to portray a vast amount of emotions all at once. This all depends on your environment and who you’re with. Your natural psychic abilities keep you in tune with other people’s feelings and you take them on as your own. In arguments and fights, you tend to avoid them as much as possible. You believe that violence and unpleasant conversations won’t solve anything. When it comes to good news, you become this innocent child - beaming and radiant. Everything is ok and you feel positive. When in love, you put your significant other on a pedestal and can sacrifice a lot for your relationship if you feel like it is worth saving. Try to remove yourself from situations and stop letting other people’s problems affect you so much.

Source: thatpiscesfish

[pass-the-bechdel]

Marvel Cinematic Universe: Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Does it pass the Bechdel Test?

No.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Six (31.57% of cast).

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Thirteen.

Positive Content Rating:

Three.

General Film Quality:

Entertaining, but overrated.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) UNDER THE CUT:

Passing the Bechdel:

Though Nebula and Gamora trade a couple of lines on a few occasions, they invariably speak about either Thanos, or Ronan. 

Female characters:

Meredith Quill.

Bereet.

Nebula.

Gamora.

Carina.

Nova Prime.

Male characters:

Mr Quill.

Peter Quill.

Yondu Udonta.

Ronan.

Korath.

Rocket.

Groot.

The Broker.

Drax.

Thanos.

The Collector.

Denarian Saal.

Denarian Dey.

OTHER NOTES:

Seatbelts on spaceships should really be mandatory.

Aahahahaha Peter has a woman on his ship whose name he can’t remember and whom he forgot was even there! Oh, it’s so funny and charming! What a classic misogynistic cliche intro! Garbage.

Rocket chastises Groot to ‘learn genders’, and I don’t think the irony of a raccoon (a species with almost no visually-evident sexual dimorphism) saying that to a tree-person (whose species - if sexually dimorphic at all - certainly has no reason to adhere to the humanoid/mammalian model) is deliberate. The other alien higher-life-forms they encounter in the film are pretty uniformly human in appearance (not much effort going on in the ‘alien’ department besides just painting people in bright colours), but lack of imagination from the creative team doesn’t mean that the binary gender system we’re accustomed to on Earth has any broad bearing on the galaxy at large. 

Aaahh, and now Peter is explaining his scars to Drax, with lovely stories of women he cheated on in the past because he’s ~such a stud~.

Thanos tells Ronan off for his dull political raging and whiny behaviour, but he’s sitting on a shiny floating throne himself, so I’m not sure he’s earned the right to criticise what other people have got going on.

Rocket suggests that Gamora trade sexual favours to get things from other prisoners, because we’re being Like That with this movie.

The Collector keeps female slave ‘assistants’, whom he evidently treats so nicely that Carina commits suicide by infinity stone at the first opportunity in order to escape him. We’re just doing so well for the ladies in this film.

As a great comedic beat, Drax calls Gamora a “green whore”. It’s both a shitty line, and nonsensical, since Drax isn’t supposed to comprehend metaphors and he has no reason to believe Gamora is a literal ‘whore’ (nor is he likely to use such a colloquial term, considering the calibre of his standard vocabulary). Basically, it’s a rubbish line from every angle, and all in service of a misogynistic joke. 

This film is a terrible waste of Djimon Hounsou.

Ronan is very theatrically over-the-top in his pronouncements, but Lee Pace does his damnedest to make it work on delivery.

Why does Ronan’s flashy purple infinity stone weapon not kill people when he shoots them with its energy blast? Obviously it would be terribly inconvenient to the story if he just casually killed all the good guys, but honestly. It doesn’t make much sense. They coulda at least pretended there was a reason.

The part of me that is susceptible to acts of heroism is affected by the guardians all joining hands to share the stone’s power. Not enough to feel that the film or the character relationships actually connected on an emotional level, but enough that this ending doesn’t feel totally unearned.

Drax patting Rocket’s head while he’s crying over Groot is a lovely touch. THAT is the strongest character interaction of the film.

So. I’ll be honest: I don’t like this movie. I don’t think it works. I think it’s essentially just a string of gimmicks, loosely attached, entertaining enough on the surface but with no meaningful depth to hold in the mind or keep the audience engaged once the credits kick in (it’s also much heavier on the sexist tropes than any other MCU film previous). I don’t hate it, but it doesn’t give me anything that I value in a viewing experience, it just happens and then ends and that’s it. And the reason it doesn’t work is, frankly, the writing is lazy as shit. It makes a sub-par effort at establishing character and thus relies heavily on cliches, it rarely bothers to incorporate relevant plot and motivations and such into the story at early points in order to generate narrative pay-off, and the world-building is hazy at best and, like the characterisation, trades predominantly on expectation of stereotypes rather than actually creating anything original.

Let’s start in the obvious place: with our lead character. I’m tempted to just say ‘Peter Quill is garbage’ and then move on, because it’s true and also, he’s just not complex or interesting at all, which is ridiculous because he’s got that whole ‘alien abduction’ origin story and there should be like, literally any layers at all to his story instead of him just being an obnoxious Lothario who makes pop culture references like that counts as having a personality. But, here we are. I’m not familiar with the comics so I don’t know if this is a common complaint from fans who can’t believe their boy got all his nuances deleted in favour of such an inane cliche, but if this is exactly what Quill is like in the comics too? That’s no excuse. Part of the magic of adaptation is the opportunity to improve upon things the source material did wrongly or badly. The Quill we’ve got here in this movie is such a bland template he’s almost functionally useless; he barely impacts the story at all, especially in any way that is relevant to his personality or skills and necessitates his presence (the dance-off distraction is the only good Quill moment, and it’s also one of the few inspired choices in the whole film). At the end of the day, Quill exists so that the story has a Main Guy, being a straight white American male (and making sure we all, excessively, know about it), because God forbid we be expected to identify with anyone else. I have heard people sing the praises of the film for ‘subverting cliche’ by not having Quill and Gamora actively hook up by the end, as if that somehow makes it better that every single other aspect of that tedious forced romance plot is still squarely in place and set to play out in future films (pro tip: if the main guy still ‘gets the girl’, only it doesn’t happen in the first film, that’s not subversive. That’s still playing the trope dead-straight). Quill not immediately being shown to be rewarded with sex is not some incredible feat of original storytelling, and it certainly doesn’t absolve him of being a dime-a-dozen pig of a character. If that’s the most ‘unexpected’ character element you can cite, you’re in dire straits. 

Now, I’m not gonna talk about every character individually, because in most cases there’s not much to talk about; Drax is the big warrior guy with the Fridged Family backstory we’ve seen so many times before it elicits zero (0) emotions now; Groot - though an interesting idea on paper - is basically just a Deus Ex Machina of whatever ability is most useful at any given moment, too ill-defined to have boundaries to his powers and conveniently not using his full potential whenever it would allow the characters to win too easily; and Rocket, well, Rocket is actually the only one of the leads who manages any meaningful nuance, which is unfortunate because most of the time he’s just used for sarcastic comic relief. The other character I am going to talk about is Gamora, and it’s because she’s a prime example of how this movie fails to establish things so that they feel like they actually matter or the character’s motivations are understandable, etc. We are introduced to Gamora when she overrides Ronan’s order for Nebula to retrieve the orb from Xandar; as it turns out, Gamora’s introductory moment (literally the first time we see her or hear her speak) is also her act of rebellion when she puts into action her plan to escape Thanos’ clutches and go her own way. The problem, obviously, is this is her introduction. We’ve never seen this character before, we’ve only just met Ronan and Nebula as well, Thanos is barely more than a concept, as is the planet Xandar and the politics around it. Nothing has been established yet about the life that Gamora occupies, so her ploy to escape it? Meaningless. We don’t even find out that Gamora was not planning to retrieve the orb for Ronan until she tells us so after she’s been arrested, and we have literally no reason to believe her because we don’t know her yet because her character has not been established at all. The traditional way to do this would be to show her in her old life, doing as she’s told and/or witnessing terrible things being done by her compatriots, and showing the audience that she has clear misgivings so that when she turns, we understand the context and can believe that’s a logical character decision based on established personality and morals (think of Finn’s introduction in The Force Awakens for a textbook example). Because no time or effort is ever invested in establishing who or how Gamora is, everything we know is delivered to us directly in dialogue, all tell, no show, and what could easily have been the film’s most dynamic character is instead hampered by having her development choked off to avoid spending time on letting her origins matter (despite the fact that those origins are essential to the plot).

On which note, lets talk bad guys. Thanos first, because there’s not much to say, and that’s not a good thing: Thanos is actually pointless to this film, the only reason he’s there is so that the MCU can use him to actual purpose in later films and his relation to Gamora and Nebula and the hunt for the Infinity Stones needs to be established first, but as with everything else this movie is terrible at establishing things effectively. Consequently, Thanos...just floats around on a chair, and then Ronan tells him to piss off and we don’t see or hear from him again in the rest of the film, and there’s no real effort made to integrate Thanos into the story so that he seems like anything other than a dead-end subplot cluttering up the movie for no reason. The closest Thanos gets to anything notable is when he chides Ronan for his boring politics, but even that is symptomatic of the wider problem with this movie’s lazy writing: Ronan’s whole character is essentially just another dull archetype - in this case, the extremist villain - and a solid nothing at all is done to establish his politics or what they mean, other than death for the people we’re told are the innocents. This is a problem with the world-building of the film as a whole, because none of the galaxy’s politics is fleshed out, there’s no context to why the Kree have a problem with Xandar or why we should care, and Xandar kinda gets treated like the centre of the universe but it also seems that’s just for convenience sake so that the plot can return to a previous location for the final act. Hell, I haven’t the faintest fucking idea where Earth is supposed to fit in to all of this, other characters talk about it so it’s clearly a known quantity to the rest of the galaxy, and yet no one knows any details about it and Quill never bothered to go back there for reasons which really SHOULD be explored and yet are not even mentioned (that would seem like some of that characterisation he doesn’t have), so I don’t know what we’re supposed to interpret from that. I’m not confident that the creative powers bothered to think about it, considering how much they didn’t think about anything else. This is a movie where ‘human, but painted’ passes for ‘alien’ and society apparently functions exactly like Earth, tedious misogyny and all, despite the absence of cultural sharing to explain the Earthlike similarities (and boy oh boy do I HATE the laziness of science fiction where everything being identical to Western culture on Earth is treated like it’s ‘just the natural order’ that should be expected to develop in any sentient species, instead of a complex system shaped by unique and varied influences over thousands of years and dependent upon environment, religion, philosophy, and a myriad of other factors not replicated in these poorly-drawn ‘alien’ cultures. I get that you’ve gotta employ at least some shorthand in order to get on and tell your story within time constraints, but come on. If you’re not gonna think about world-building at all, don’t set the story on an alien planet). Above all else, we know that Ronan is the villain because he’s painted (literally) as one; he’s the bad guy through visually-indicated othering, because we all know good guys don’t look like that (whereas most of Ronan’s enemies on Xandar are just regular-looking white folks. Curious...). Sure, Ronan is also introduced spouting rhetoric and then smashing a dude with a hammer, and that seems like villain behaviour, but that only reinforces the point: Ronan’s role is made unmistakable through age-old tropes, and it’s never explored or subverted or made dynamic from there. Like Quill as the ‘hero’, Ronan is a dime-a-dozen cliche.

So anyway. Lets talk plot. This one goes like so: Quill collects the orb from Morag, where he coincidentally runs into Korath and company who just-so-happen to be after the orb at the same time (how it is that multiple interested parties only just found out that one of the most powerful destructive forces in the universe is just chillin’ on this abandoned planet, they don’t bother to explain). Quill runs into both Gamora, and Rocket and Groot, the other parties happening to be after him for different reasons and coincidentally converging on Xandar at the same point. Everyone gets arrested and sent to prison, where they meet Drax and promptly escape and fly to Knowhere so that The Collector can exposition-dump about Infinity Stones. Drax calls Ronan up, just literally straight-up calls the bad guy to come and find them because I guess figuring out a normal plot reason for the villain to catch up with the good guys was too hard, so we had to go for extreme stupidity instead. Ronan gets the orb and goes back to Xandar to destroy it, and our main characters figure they should stop that, so they do. Roll credits. Now, you can make pretty much any story sound basic and stupid by breaking it down into its component pieces, but the important thing to note about this layout is how many convenient or just plain stupid aspects there are. There are almost no character meetings or story developments that come about logically through the sensible development of plot driven by character’s motivations springing from established narrative, etc, and part of that problem is absolutely because there’s so little established character/world-building to begin with, but it’s also because whatever there is tends to apparate when it is needed without any sign of existing beforehand; that is, very little of the story is seeded early on so that it can come to fruition later in a narratively satisfying fashion. The Nova Corps sentence the characters to the Kyln prison as if it’s a big scary concept, but we’ve never heard of it before so we have no reason to consider it trouble. Drax appears and other characters literally tell us why we should pay attention to him, instead of him being, say, pre-established (SUCH AS by having his family tragedy shown on screen as a dual-establishing event for him and Ronan, or something to which Gamora was privy in some way in order to intro her misgivings as discussed above, or even just having someone reference the legend of Drax the Destroyer BEFORE getting to the Kyln (you could also, y’know, establish the Kyln itself in talking about how Drax was sent there. Just saying)). Intro the idea of Knowhere and/or The Collector BEFORE heading there so that it’s less convenient for Gamora to just-happen to have a buyer already set up for the item we didn’t even know she had planned to steal as part of the escape plot we didn’t know she was hatching. For the love of everything, establish some actual REASON for Ronan to follow our characters to Knowhere, instead of just ‘Drax got drunk and called him’. Link the pieces of your story together with concepts and developments that build upon each other in a narrative progression. That’s the difference between having a plot, and having a string of chronological set pieces (some of which - like Morag and the Kyln - don’t even have a purpose anyway beyond providing some action-scene opportunities). 

Before I close this out, I just want to run through a little exercise to demonstrate something that you never, ever want to happen in a story. You never want to have a lead character who can be deleted from the plot without leaving a hole too big to be easily filled by the rest of the cast. But what happens if Peter Quill is removed from this story? Well, pretty much all of the misogyny disappears, so that’s a plus. Someone else is gonna have to retrieve the orb from Morag, but we could easily send Rocket and Groot to do that. Gamora can still fight with them on Xandar exactly as it happens in the actual movie, only this time it’s not just pure coincidence that they conflict. We saved vital time that the film spent on Quill’s inconsequential childhood abduction (and we could save more on trimming the pointless action on Morag), which is time that could be better spent on all that other establishing crap I was talking about earlier, tightening up the narrative. Quill doesn’t serve any important purpose in the Kyln, so we can remove him from that no problem, nor does he matter on Knowhere other than a frankly stupid and ultimately pointless moment when he saves Gamora (definitely unnecessary when we’re removing the romantic subplot bullshit along with Quill). And then what? The characters agree that not letting Ronan destroy the galaxy is probably a good call (not Quill-relevant), they head back to Xandar, fight some bad guys, hold hands, win the day. We lose Quill’s only good moment in the form of the dance-off, but it’s an acceptable loss in order to strengthen the entire rest of the film by deleting the most meaningless character: the lead. We also arguably lose the Ravagers in the process, but as much fun as Yondu is, the plot can also survive completely intact without him (the only time the Ravagers matter is for the previously-identified useless damsel contrivance with Quill saving Gamora, and then they do help out on Xandar in the end, but they aren’t necessary for that - the Nova Corps could have been expanded just a smidge and taken care of everything). On the other hand, if you remove Gamora, you lose the connection to Ronan/Thanos as well as the moral compass of the Guardians; some other character would have to be significantly altered to fill the gap. You lose major Deus Ex Machina skills without Groot, and without Rocket someone else’s narrative has to change in order for Groot to have a buddy (plus you need a new mastermind for various plans, though that’s an easier hole to fill). You skip Drax and you do lose a major plot development in the form of him drunk-dialling Ronan, but admittedly that’s one of the worst things in this whole dumb waste of a movie, so maybe it’s not such a loss. You could ditch Drax. But, that’s not important, because Drax isn’t packaged as the leading man: Quill is. If you delete Drax, you don’t really streamline or improve the story (you could fix the one big flaw in his character very easily, he doesn’t have to disappear for that). You delete Quill...I know, comic book adaptation, dropping the main character is not considered an acceptable alteration when you’re improving the story for the screen. But come on. The least they could do is make him actually matter, not just be a perfunctory inclusion for the sake of sticking this ‘weird sci-fi’ as firmly in the centre of over-done cliche as a lazy gimmick story ever could be. There are a few chuckles to be had with this film, and it’s not entirely boring, but it’s not half as endearing nor even an eighth as inspired as it thinks it is. I’m not impressed by any of it.

[christambassadress]

To all the girls that stumbled,

I tell you, get up!

You may be tired carrying all the things being brought to you. This made you want to figure everything out. But the more you figure things out, the more you are far from seeing God's plan in your situation. Don't take everything on your shoulders, because the world is so big for you to hold.

To all the girls that stumbled,

I tell you, get up!

You may be tired carrying all the things being brought to you. This made you want to figure everything out. But the more you figure things out, the more you are far from seeing God's plan in your situation. Don't take everything on your shoulders, because the world is so big for you to hold.

I know you had a hard time picking your self up. You may heard people's opinions and many of those who advised are the one's you trust. But sometimes they couldn't find the right words to comfort you that they end up giving you words that can't be added to the vocabulary of easing your pain. Words that are not fit to what you're going through but listen to them still, because they love you that they mumbled all the words just to show how much you mean to them.

You may be tired proving yourself to all the people around you. Appearing strong but totally worn out. Your ears became used to the words thrown on you that you want to shut yourself from those people. Until you burst and speak out for yourself but nobody wants to listen because they see another story, they believed the other story.

I totally understand. I'm there, yes, same season, same situation, same pain, same exhaustion, same weariness. I also

I also turn to Jesus telling that I am already tired. I cry to Him "God, I'm tired crying." As I wait upon His promises, "God, I'm tired waiting." As I wake up every 3am, "Ugh! God, I'm tired praying." But still I encourage myself that these things shall pass.

It's tempting to give up everything and run away from Jesus. Leaving people behind and starting your life without Him and people you know would do everything to bring you back to Christ seems to be your escape coz you know you'll somehow move on and live a normal life away from chaos, away from rumours, away from the rules just like before you knew God and get involved in this kind of environment. I TELL YOU, GET UP!

PLEASE, NO!!! Do not go back from where you came from. Your growth took Jesus years just to make you bloom. It took years for Jesus to get rid of all the pests that would keep you from growing and forming into a wonderful flower you are now.

Do not allow the old demons to manipulate you again. Your failure doesn't stop Jesus on loving you, on hearing you and reaching you. Jesus already fought and won you over them. Claim your freedom!

Never allow yourself to doubt His goodness again. He'a a good good God. He already brought you out of the impossible moments of your life from then up to this very moment. If people meant evil against you, God will surely meant it for your good.

Do not allow this situation to ruin your canvas. But if it already did, don't stay there. Jesus would love to pick your broken pieces and would gladly present you as a gloriously ruined masterpiece.

These days are unstoppable. It surely would come. But Jesus still chose you on the bad days too. Nothing would ever change that. It doesn't mean you can't make it up again when you messed up big time. It doesn't mean you're a failure when you failed people's expectations. It just mean God is not done with you yet, you're on pruning stage. That makes you to grow without those behaviour that would prevent you on bearing fruits.

Strong days aren't everyday. There comes time when we feel weak. Really weak. As in "weak" weak. But Jesus never leaves our side, in good days or bad days and the truth that He wants us to depend on Him alone.

People will mock you, curse you, judge you, criticise you and bring you down very low but we don't have to always fight, sometimes we have surrender. Surrender to the One who has more power than we have and someone who is greater than our persecution. He will be the One to fix whatever is broken, heal whatever has been hurt and restore whatever was lost.

Little girl, get up! You who is having a hard time understanding what's happening, I pray that you will continue to pray, wait, listen and remember His promises made with you.

P.S. You're on your way to the Promise Land! We're on our way to our breakthrough! 💪🏻

You may be tired proving yourself to all the people around you. Appearing strong but totally worn out. Your ears became used to the words thrown on you that you want to shut yourself from those people.

I totally understand. I'm there, yes, same season, same situation, same pain, same exhaustion, same weariness. I also

I also turn to Jesus telling that I am already tired. I cry to Him "God, I'm tired crying." As I wait upon His promises, "God, I'm tired waiting." As I wake up every 3am, "Ugh! God, I'm tired praying." But still I encourage myself that these things shall pass.

It's tempting to give up everything and run away from Jesus. Leaving people behind and starting your life without Him and people you know would do everything to bring you back to Christ seems to be your escape coz you know you'll somehow move on and live a normal life away from chaos, away from rumours, away from the rules just like before you knew God and get involved in this kind of environment. I TELL YOU, GET UP!

PLEASE, NO!!! Do not go back from where you came from. Your growth took Jesus years just to make you bloom. It took years for Jesus to get rid of all the pests that would keep you from growing and forming into a wonderful flower you are now.

Do not allow the old demons to manipulate you again. Your failure doesn't stop Jesus on loving you, on hearing you and reaching you. Jesus already fought and won you over them. Claim your freedom!

Never allow yourself to doubt His goodness again. He'a a good good God. He already brought you out of the impossible moments of your life from then up to this very moment. If people meant evil against you, God will surely meant it for your good.

Do not allow this situation to ruin your canvas. But if it already did, don't stay there. Jesus would love to pick your broken pieces and would gladly present you as a gloriously ruined masterpiece.

These days are unstoppable. It surely would come. But Jesus still chose you on the bad days too. Nothing would ever change that. It doesn't mean you can't make it up again when you messed up big time. It doesn't mean you're a failure when you failed people's expectations. It just mean God is not done with you yet, you're on pruning stage. That makes you to grow without those behaviour that would prevent you on bearing fruits.

Strong days aren't everyday. There comes time when we feel weak. Really weak. As in "weak" weak. But Jesus never leaves our side, in good days or bad days and the truth that He wants us to depend on Him alone.

People will mock you, curse you, bring you down below but we don't have to always fight, sometimes we have surrender. Surrender to the One who has more power than we have and someone who is greater than our persecution. He will be the One to fix whatever is broken, heal whatever has been hurt and restore whatever was lost.

Little girl, get up! You who is having a hard time understanding what's happening, I pray that you will continue to pray, wait, listen and remember His promises made with you.

P.S. You're on your way to the Promise Land! We're on our way to our breakthrough! 💪🏻