#but she breaks out and fucks up the avengers before thanos can even get to them

[missvelvetsstuff]

The Situation Room

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: After a mission almost gone wrong, Tony brings back Bucky's former assistant, who is also Bucky's ex. Can they work together without hurting each other? Will the whole truth about their break up finally come out?

Avengers AU where Thanos never happened.

Chapter 2

Warnings: swearing, angst

Radar woke from a troubled sleep when her alarm went off at 5pm. She groaned and rolled out of bed, stood and ran through some yoga stretches to get her blood moving. Once she felt more alive she shuffled into the bathroom for a hot shower. By 6pm she was dressed and had her gear ready to go.

She looked in her mirror, took a deep breath and squared her shoulders before heading to the kitchen and the smell of food. Wait, was that.....

"Paprikash!" She exclaimed as she entered the kitchen to see Wanda standing over a large pot.

Wanda turned and grinned "I had to make your favorite, sestra, to welcome you home." She handed Radar a full plate "Here, bread and butter are on the table."

Radar kissed Wanda's cheek "You're my very favoritest witch, Maximoff. Thank you!"

She went to sit at the table and started to eat.

A few minutes later she heard his voice "You made my favorite, Wanda. Thank you."

Bucky came in, grabbed a plate and went to sit down, making a face when he saw Radar there. He sat without a word and started eating.

Radar chatted with Sam when he came in to eat, catching up on life since they last spoke a few months ago.

Sam shook his head "Why haven't you been able to catch up with Sharon yet?"

Radar shrugged "She's smart and knows people. I'm pretty sure she has some high ranking US officials that she's dealing with. CIA, FBI, NSA at least a couple of people in one or more of those agencies. Military too. Maybe the White House.

She's the one who bankrolled Karli Morgantheau and her Flagsmashers. Karli might have cared about the people who were being left behind by capitalism but Sharon and whoever is backing her are only interested in creating chaos. Those people who are suffering were happy to help with that.

I have some strong leads that some of my team are following. I actually have a pretty good idea who's behind Sharon but they are very high up in the pecking order so I can't talk about who or move until we have incontrovertible proof. Whoever it is, knows that I'm catching up with them so I have to watch my back."

Bucky scoffed "Must be a change of pace for you to be concerned with backstabbers since that's your move."

Radar shook her head "Please. If you actually knew the truth you'd really hate yourself, even worse than usual but not to worry, I'm sure you'll never know. That would require some intellectual curiosity instead of blindly trusting a pretty face."

Bucky looked at her, confused "What the fuck are you going on about? What truth?"

Radar got up and put her dishes in the dishwasher "None of your concern, Barnes. Way too late. See you at 9."

Bucky looked at Wanda "What was she talking about? I know that you know."

Wanda shook her head "Sorry Bucky, that's not my story to tell. If you want to know, you'll have to figure out how to get her to trust you enough to tell you. If you even can, which I seriously doubt. Good luck on your mission."

Bucky turned to Sam who was sitting back, smirking, "Of course you know, don't you?"

Sam nodded, still smiling, and wordlessly headed to his room to suit up, then to the hangar.

Bucky put his dishes away and went to the armory to pick up his bag but it was missing. He tore the room apart and when he couldn't find it he stormed to the hangar and onto the waiting quinjet where Radar and Sam were prepping to take off "Where's my kit?"

Sam laughed at Bucky's disheveled state, hair mussed, face red, breathing heavily. That laugh only enraged him "Where's my fucking kit?"

Radar rolled her eyes "Where it belongs, dumbass. I know having a competent assistant is a change of pace for you Barnes but I know my job."

Bucky went to the storage bin in the front of the cabin and pulled out his bag. He went through every pocket, every single hiding place and wasn't surprised to find everything was there. Knives cleaned and sharpened and the bag was loaded with plenty of extra ammo. He scoffed, angry that he had nothing to be angry about and no excuse bitch about her.

Bucky looked at her and Sam, both with a mischievous gleam in their eyes, before stomping to the furthest seat from the pilot and sat heavily. He strapped himself in and crossed his arms, looking anywhere but at the pair laughing at him.

He was relieved when they finally calmed down and turned their attention to taking off and setting their course in.

Radar flew the jet for the entire 6 hour flight, softly chatting with Sam for most of the trip.

Bucky stayed in his seat, arms still crossed, jaw clenched and staring at the opposite wall in a concerted attempt to avoid looking at her. His mind racing to understand what she meant by her cryptic words and growing more and more angry that she was keeping some big secret from him. Something she should have told him before now.

By the time they landed and loaded up the SUV that was waiting for them at their destination, Bucky was ready to explode and fighting to hold it back. He wouldn't start a fight as they headed into a mission but he was damn sure determined to find out what everyone else seemed to already know.

While Radar waited in the quinjet for Bucky and Sam to reach the base, she set up her surveillance gear, connected to Starks satellite and found them and synchronized them with the GPS.

Then she tapped on her key "Captain. Sargent. You have coms? Anyone?" She sighed and fiddled with her laptop "Cap? Sarge? Can you hear me now? Bueller?"

Sam laughed in her ear, making Radar smile "I hear you Angel"

Bucky scoffed "She's not your Angel, Tweety. She's mine." Hearing Radars voice in his ear gave Bucky a chill and a flash of a memory of being tangled together naked, her whispering sweet and dirty nothing's into his ear. He tried to shake it off.

Sam laughed "I'm sorry Terminator. I didn't realize you wanted her all to yourself but you're gonna have to share for now. I'll give her back good as new."

Bucky sputtered "Dammit Wilson you know that's-"

Radar interrupted him "Shush! Someone's up ahead. 2 bodies in front of the door you're headed to, then another 4 people 15 yards down the hall to the left."

She worked on her laptop "Door's unlocked and the alarm is off."

As Radar guided them through the building, the lack of resistance concerned her. She moved the satellite around and gasped when she saw a nest of heat signatures on the other side of the next door in their path "fuckfuckfuck" she tried not to panic "STOP! There's a whole platoon in the next room. Get the fuck out of there. I'll get the jet re-"

Sam and Bucky looked at each other and turned to sprint, both trying to connect with her.

"Radar, come on babygirl we need your help finding our way out of here." Sam pleaded.

Bucky felt his heart drop when she didn't respond at all "RADAR! Dammit doll, answer me please. You have to be ok honey, please!" He begged.

Sam was falling behind him, unable to keep up with the super soldier. Bucky turned to see a group of men behind them and gaining. He fired a slew of shots in their direction then picked Sam up in a firemans carry and ran down the hall with Sam shooting behind his back.

They barely made it to the doors they originally came in through, Sam held them shut while Bucky used his vibranium hand to rip the control panel out of the wall so it wouldn't open without an rpg or a couple of pounds of plastique.

Bucky looked to Sam who nodded his ok before Bucky bolted to the quinjet, Sam jogging slowly behind him.

Bucky raced up to the jet, frowning because the cloak wasn't up so it was easy to see but he stopped cold a few yards back, when he realized the ramp was up as well.

Something was wrong. Radar was good with weapons but her hand to hand skills were greatly diminished by a back injury during a mission when she was with the CIA. That's how she ended up taken out of field work and became his Angel.

Bucky was sure she had her own weapons but if not there were plenty stocked and some hidden aboard the quinjet.

He stood behind a tree, texting Friday and watching the jet for any signs of activity, until Sam caught up. Bucky held his hand up and Sam stopped next to him. They had a heated, whisper discussion about what to do next.

According to Friday, Radar was still in the jet with one other person, who was standing too close to her for Bucky's comfort. She was showing signs of distress with elevated heart rate and blood pressure.

Bucky knew something had to be done so he asked Friday to lower the ramp. When it was halfway down, a mans voice yelled from inside. "I've got your little friend Soldat. Don't come after me or I'll have to hurt her." The man laughed "Well, if I'm being honest I am gonna hurt her irregardless but I'll probably have to kill her if you get too close."

Radar screamed in pain as the man twisted her to face the ramp "Now stop, I barely touched you. Your girl seems pretty sensitive."

"She's not my girl!" Bucky yelled and Sam scowled at him

"Is that really necessary Barnes? Just figure out how to get him away from her."

The man laughed "Sure she isn't Soldat. Just let us go and I'll drop her off somewhere safe."

Bucky was ready to kill the owner of that voice but knew that would get Radar hurt so tried to negotiate. "Fine, I put my gun down. Come on out."

Bucky clenched his jaw when he saw the man holding Radar's arms behind her back while he held a knife at her throat. Once they were at the bottom of the ramp, Bucky threw one of his knives, scraping Radar's ear and landing between the mans eyes.

Radar looked at him with wide eyes after she saw the blood on her hand from where it had touched her ear "Are you fucking crazy Barnes? You could have killed or seriously hurt me. Look at this shit, you cut my ear. I know you hate me but this is not ok. You know, I should-"

Bucky interrupted her rant by grabbing her face with both hands and looking her over very carefully for any injuries besides her ear. When he found nothing his hands pulled away like she burned him

"You're fine, it's barely a scratch. Wheels up in 5, there might be more of them coming."

Then he strode into the jet and started preparing to take off.

Radar turned and watched him walk away, her mouth open, before shaking herself off and looking to Sam as he came up the ramp. He shrugged, grabbed a first aid kit and sat, pulling her down with him so he could check her ear.

Sam cleaned the scratch and put a bandaid on it. "Just a nick, you'll live." He smiled at her. "Did you hear what he said when you didn't reply?"

Radar shook her head "No. That guy took my headset first. Why? What did he say?"

Sam shook his head "You two need to talk. I'm not gonna get in the middle of this mess."

The jet was in the air, destination set and Bucky sighed when he heard Sam say that. He had panicked for a minute but didn't want to reopen that wound. Whatever Radar's truth was, it didn't matter.

Like she said it was too late.

@unaxv @calwitch @buckitostan

Chapter 3

[kamaluhkhan]

maybe it's my fault

pairing: shuri x fem!reader

summary: lately, you've been feeling a ton of pressure, you're way too busy, and you're barely sleeping. life is taking its toll on you, but you drop everything to be with shuri when she needs you most.

warnings: angst! mention of illness and death (t'challa's, mostly). reader has a bit of a saviour complex. lots of plot w/ a little smut ;)

author's note: hi hi it's been too long since i've written a fic, but i just rewatched black panther so i decided to finish one of my drafts. this could be read as a part 3 to my other shuri fics, but it's wayyy more angsty than i usually write. also happy endings.....we don't know her! you've been warned.

you were in the kitchen, chopping up fruit for a smoothie, while sam and bucky were watching the news in the living room. you could only hear muffled sounds from the tv thanks to the lecture you were rewatching through your earphones, hyperfocused on absorbing as much information about genetic coding — the topic of your last exam before spring break — so it was easy to miss sam calling your name until he was practically shouting. you finally removed one earbud.

"yeah?"

“when's the last time you heard from your girlfriend?" 

"i don't know," you answered, still mostly focused on your professor droning on about complex protein structures while you kept cutting up strawberries — and tried to keep your eyes open. you probably hadn't slept in 36 hours. "we've both been busy. why?"

there was no immediate answer, which you didn’t think much of until you looked up and saw what they were watching. in shock, you accidently let the knife slip, and it nicked your thumb instead of the fruit.

"fuck."

blood dripped from your hand, but your eyes stayed glued to the screen.

KING T’CHALLA, RULER OF WAKANDA, DEAD FROM UNKNOWN ILLNESS. COUNTRY IN PERIOD OF MOURNING. 

you could tell from the way bucky and sam were silent that they were also overwhelmed with the news. t’challa was an avenger, a teammate — but he was also a friend. he was compassionate and wise and always made you feel welcomed, even when some of the elders disapproved of shuri dating an outsider. this hurt you, deeply, especially after losing so much of the team in the battle with thanos. but none of that mattered — all you could think about now was shuri….

you instantly pulled out your phone, and tried to call her. 

it’s shuri. i’m probably designing better technology, so i’ll call you back with that. 

you then tried the kimoyo beads on your wrist, but still no answer. 

“i have to go.”

sam nodded. “just let me look after your hand first —”

“i’ll deal with it on the quinjet.” you ran to your room down the hall, and grabbed your overnight bag (thank Gods you hadn’t unpacked yet, even though you’d decided to stay over at Avengers tower this week). “i just finished fixing up the old one, so i’ll take that and you guys can still use the new one for your mission tomorrow. if i leave now, i’ll get to wakanda by morning.” or maybe midnight. or afternoon? there was also a time difference that you couldn’t quite remember. “i’ll call peter on the way, let him know what happened. can you tell the others?” whoever is left, you thought to yourself.

again, sam nodded. bucky mumbled a simple take care as you start to leave for the quinjet.

sam called your name, so you turned around before a few tears could escape. he brought you into a hug. you couldn’t help but stiffen, a reflex because of so many i’m sorry for your loss hugs you’d gotten used to. when sam pulled away, he put his hand on her shoulder, eyes sincere but sad. “it’s gonna be alright, kid.”

you really wanted to believe him.

shuri’s lab was all too familiar to you. there was something perpetually alive about the space: always people talking, inventions being brought to life, loud music blasting. 

but, right now, it was silent. only shuri was there, designing something on the holograms and taking notes. 

you hear her A.I. griot announce that someone had arrived, but shuri doesn't seem to care.

“i told you i did not want to be disturbed,” shuri grumbled.

“he made an exception,” you replied, trying to keep your tone playful.

shuri didn’t say anything and kept working. “did my mother call you?” she finally asked. “i told her not to.”

you moved closer to shuri’s workspace until you were right next to her, leaning backwards against the desk but keeping your eyes on shuri and trying to pull her attention away from whatever she was working on — a suit, you guessed.

“she didn't call me. i came as soon as i heard,” you answered, crossing you arms. “but i did talk to her and she seemed…worried.”

“there’s no need to be,” shuri said. “i’m fine. we had the funeral — it happened, it’s over.”

you uncrossed your arms, sighing deeply. “you know, your brother once told me that in wakandan culture, death isn’t the end. it’s a stepping off point. then, he told me that he believed, even if they’re gone from the physical world, the people we love never leave us. their lives aren’t over if we honor them, keep loving them.”

t'challa's thoughtfulness helped you after losing tony and steve, and it was something you wished you had heard earlier in life. something that gave you hope, made you feel a bit lighter when it felt like the weight of the world was crushing you.

but, hearing this prompted shuri to freeze momentarily, though she couldn’t bring herself to look you in the eye.

"i am not my brother.” she went back to working after that.

for a moment, you simply watched your girlfriend work. shuri’s hair was different — braids gone and shorter than the last time you had seen her. her jawline was also sharper and her eyes a bit more sunken, like she hadn’t slept or eaten in days.

when it became clear that shuri wasn’t going to stop, you turned around and focused your attention to the holograms she was juggling. it wasn’t a panther suit, but what looked like a deconstructed dora milaje armor that shuri was redesigning.

“you want this to fly?” you noted the thrusters placed on the feet of the suit.

shuri glanced at you briefly before enlarging the section in question. “yes.”

you hummed, reaching over to zoom out to a full view of the suit. “if you add small repulsors, the wearer will have more control over how and where they fly.”

 “i was going to add something like that to the back.”

“i’d suggest the shoulders,” you said, tilting your head. “small, triangle shaped — kind of like angel wings. also, if you add reinforced plating to the shoulders and arms, you can redistribute the extra vibranium through the repulsor energy so the wearer can materialize a blade or a laser.”

“brilliant,” shuri mumbled under her breath.

you nudged shuri with your shoulder. “you would have figured it out eventually.”

“i know.” shuri leaned into you, a sign that she was softening. “that’s why it’s brilliant. i wish it'd thought of it sooner." she whispered the last part. there was a faraway sadness to her tone that made your heart ache.

you turned to face shuri, and gently put your hand on her cheek so she met your gaze.

"i think it's a sign that your beautiful brain needs some rest, baby." you knew what shuri was like, and based on your conversation with queen ramonda, shuri had locked herself in the lab for days.

shuri sighed, moving to kiss your palm before realizing the state it was in — freshly wrapped in a thin layer of gauze that you had bled through.

“what happened to your hand?” she questioned urgently.

“oh. nothing serious. just a slip of the knife.”

wordlessly, shuri brought you over to the medical bay and gestured for you to sit down on the table. you did, and shuri settled between your legs, using vibranium to heal your cut.

"shuri," you called after a few moments of silence, leaning your head down slightly to try and catch her eye. "you know i'm here for you, right?"

"i know." she finished cleaning the wound and wrapped your hand in a fresh vibranium-woven bandage. you wanted so badly to do the same — to wrap up shuri's grief, to protect her from pain, to help her heal.

"i mean that you don't have to, i don't know, act like everything is fine. we can talk about what happened — we can talk about t'challa."

"i know," she repeated, eyes finally meeting yours as she rested her hand on your knee. "i just....i can't. it's either i shut myself in the lab for hours or i think about my brother and want to burn the world down. and i can't...." shuri choked back a sob and her grip on your knee tightened.

you brought your hand up to her cheek, gently tracing the dark circles under her eyes with your thumb.

"well, what if we try another option?"

you spent the next few days in wakanda with shuri, ignoring your responsibilities in new york. most of the time was spent lazing around the royal palace, but with you shuri at least got enough sleep and food, even if you barely left her room at first. eventually, the two of you actually ate in the formal dining room. you could have sworn queen ramonda teared up when her daughter showed up again to share a meal since t'challa's passing. queen ramonda gave you a warm smile before the feast was served.

as you were walking back to shuri's room, stomachs full from a delicious dinner, your phone vibrated. you checked to see who it was: peter, texting to remind you of a lab assignment you had slipped your mind.

"oh shit," you groaned.

"what is it?"

"an assignment for my genetics class that i completely forgot about," you explained, rushing to open your laptop, which you'd left on shuri's nightstand after the two of you binged a few episodes of star trek (the original series). "one of our lab partners fucked up the results, so pete and i had to sort things out, but we've both been so busy...."

your phone vibrated once more, this time displaying an incoming call from jimmy neutron, your affectionate contact name for peter parker.

"i should take this."

shuri nodded. "let me help, yeah?"

considering how brilliant shuri was, you offered her your laptop without question. you paced back and forth, talking with peter over whether or not failing this assignment would mean you both failed the class, until shuri's voice cut through your conversation.

"why do you have a file with my brother's dna?"

you know exactly the file she was talking about, and it made you stop in your tracks to face shuri. you thought you were being too careful when you didn't attach his name to the file — but, apparently, you weren't careful enough.

shuri was sitting upright on the bed now, practically glaring at you as she waited for your answer. you tried to ignore your increasing heart-rate.

"pete, i have to go." you could hear him start to protest on the other end of the line, but you quickly ended the call. "well, we keep blood samples from every team member in case something happens."

hopefully your answer satisfied shuri.

it didn't.

"this isn't with your avengers files, though," shuri pointed out. you tried to grab the laptop back from her, but she moved it out of your reach. "and even if it was, you would have noticed something wrong."

"shuri," you warned, finding it harder to not let your voice waver.

"did you know my brother was sick?" her tone was harsher than before.

"shuri —"

"the samples show abnormal cell growth at an earlier stage than when i was working on a cure for him," shuri noted, turning the laptop screen towards you. like you, she must have spent hours looking at t'challa's dna to the point of memorizing its sequence. "so either you didn't notice that something was wrong, and we both know you're too smart enough to miss something that obvious, or — "

"shuri." this time, when you said her name, it was less of a warning and more of a plea. you did not want to go down this road. frankly, you were hoping you never had to.

"you knew my brother was sick and didn't tell me," she finished. shuri handed you the laptop and you closed it slowly, watching as she walked to the other side of the room before facing you again. "tell me that isn't true."

all you could do was bite back tears and hope the floor swallowed you whole. when it didn't, you took a deep breath and stood up.

"i can explain." you approached her, but she took a step away from you and scoffed.

"what's there to explain?"

"just....please." you walked back to the bed and took a seat. "let me explain."

t'challa intercepted you at your favourite coffee shop about four weeks ago.

it was march in new york, so hints of spring were starting to peak through the winter snow. you had back to back classes, but you always had time for a coffee in between.

the cold air hit you as you exited the shop, a drink warming your hand. you noticed him standing there: no dora milaje, no fancy suit, just t'challa. he wore sunglasses and a sleek black trench coat with a purple scarf, his silver necklace peaking out from the collar.

"t'challa?" you called, almost doing a double take. the two of you were friends, sure, and probably future in-laws, but the image of him waiting for you outside a student-run cafe felt too out of the ordinary. "is everything okay?"

he smiled softly, taking off his sunglasses. "of course," he said. then, t'challa did something that surprised you even more: he greeted you with a hug. as he pulled away, he added: "just in town and thought we could catch up. shuri said this was your favourite place for cinnamon lattes."

you shrugged. "my girl knows me well. could we catch up later, though? i have a class in...." you glanced at your phone. "right now, actually." you looked back up at t'challa, and something about how his smile faded away made you feel like this was more important. "you know what, i can get notes later. come on."

t'challa followed you to a bench nearby, scanning the area as you made the short walk. the two of you sat in silence for a few moments before you broke it.

"so, is everything okay?" you asked again, taking a sip of your drink.

"actually, no." he paused, voice low. you waited for him to continue, your heart beating fast as you tried not to expect the worst. "i'm sick, y/n."

"you're sick," you repeated slowly, letting the words sink in. "i'm....i'm sorry." you reached over and squeezed t'challa's hand. he gave you a sad smile in return. that was the thing about t'challa: he was always trying to put on a brave face.

"i need you to help me find a cure."

"of course," you answered instantly. you loved t'challa like he was family; you would do anything for him. but, something felt a bit strange about his request. "why not go to wakanda, though? i mean, i'd be happy to help, but the technology there is way more advanced than anything i could do in new york. shuri's lab has all the resources we would need."

t'challa shifted in his seat, breaking eye contact.

then, it hit you. the impromptu meeting, the uneasiness of t'challa's demeanor, the whispers as he explained the situation.

"she doesn't know, does she?"

t'challa shook his head. "she doesn't even know i'm in new york."

suddenly, you throat tightened and it felt difficult to swallow your coffee.

"am i the only one that knows?"

"you and nakia," he said. "i'd like for it to stay that way."

"but — but it's shuri. you're her brother and — and she can help us find a cure."

"so can you," t'challa countered. compared to your nervous stuttering, he kept his voice clear, measured. "you're studying biochemistry and cellular biology, correct? top of your class? my sister says you are almost as brilliant as her."

"almost," you laughed, allowing yourself a moment of reprieve before returning to your conversation. "t'challa, why not just tell her?"

t'challa reflected before responding, his eyes following a couple holding hand as they walked past you.

"my sister is happy," he finally said, turning to you. "i wish for her to stay like that for as long as possible. i believe this is the only way."

it broke your heart to know that, even as he was suffering, t'challa would do anything to protect shuri. you both knew what shuri was like: she would drop everything, go back to wakanda, spend many sleepless nights trying to solve this problem, to save her brother.

"are you sure?" you practically whispered the question.

"yes. i trust you can take care of this. in fact, i know you can. please, y/n."

his urgent tone, the sincerity in his eyes; t'challa was desperate, you could tell. this wasn't a decision he made lightly, to keep such information from everyone, including shuri. if you were the one he came to for help, help you would.

so, you promised keep his secret, to handle it yourself and carry on as normal. t'challa would return to his normal duties as king for as long as he could hide his illness. but, you set a term as well: if you couldn't find a cure within two weeks, when shuri went back to visit wakanda at the end of the month, t'challa would tell her and let her work to find a cure.

"one more thing," t'challa said after you had discussed your agreement. you were about to part ways, but you turned around when you heard him speak again. "shuri can never know that i came to you first. she's proud, my sister. if she finds out, she'd never forgive either of us."

you nodded firmly, but as t'challa turned to walk away, you called his name once more. you ran towards him and hugged him, tight. it startled him at first, just as you were when he greeted you, but he hugged back.

if you knew that was the last time you'd see him, you'd have held on longer.

over the next week or so, you worked relentlessly. you would've worked at the lab in avengers tower, but you knew you had more privacy at oscorp. occasionally, you went to class or had avengers business to take care of, but otherwise this was your life: rearranging dna sequences, examining blood samples, and mixing chemicals to try and find a cure for t'challa.

you came home one night, after hours in the lab. your only break was a brief stint stopping doc ock from robbing a bank. she'd managed to throw you around pretty hard — sleep deprivation made you an easier target, apparently — leaving you with a nasty bruise on your side. peter arrived to the scene just in time, and suggested the two of you celebrate with sandwiches as delmar's (where spider-man got a discount), but you made up an excuse so that you could return to the lab.

the apartment was dark when you entered, with only the kitchen light on, so you figured you were the only one home. you dragged yourself over to the sink to get a cup of water. you drank it in three gulps, and were reaching for another when you felt someone grab your side.

"fuck!" the cup fell from your grasp as you winced in pain. you turned around, too tired to even wonder if there was an intruder in your home, but met shuri's gaze instead. she was wearing boxer shorts and an oversized i ♡ wakanda shirt she'd gotten for you as a joke.

"shit. sorry." she knelt down to pick up the broken glass. you tried to follow, but winced again at the sharp pain in your side that prevented you from bending over. "don't worry. i've got it," she reassured, standing back up. "you've been busy lately. and pete told me about the fight with doc ock. you should rest."

you ignored her last comment. "i thought you were coming home late tonight."

shuri raised an eyebrow. "i'd say it's well past late." she gestured towards the clock on the stove. it read 2:27 am.

"right." between hours in the lab, with no cure in sight, and being thrown around by a scientist with metal tentacles, you were exhausted. it was the kind of exhaustion that settled into your bones, made everything feel heavier. not to mention the weight of the very big, life changing secret you were keeping from shuri....yeah, you weren't particularly in the mood to chat with your girlfriend in a dimly lit kitchen with broken glass at your feet.

before shuri could ask more about your day, you excused yourself to take a shower. you closed the bathroom door behind you, stripped yourself of your clothes, and hopped in the shower. you stood there for a few seconds, letting the warm water wash over you, until you were startled by the shower curtain opening.

"sithandwa, are you okay?"

"other than the minor heart attack you just gave me, yeah," you huffed.

shuri tilted her head and narrowed her eyes. "are you sure?"

"i'm fine," you snapped. noticing how shuri's eyes widened slightly at your outburst, you tried again, your voice softer. "i'm fine."

you lifted your arm to close the shower curtain, but let out a strangled moan when the sharp pain in your side returned. shuri furrowed her brow at your reaction, until her eyes landed on the dark bruise forming under your left ribs. instantly, shuri joined you in the shower, fully clothed.

"you're not fine," shuri decided, placing her hand gently on your skin. "why didn't you go back to the med bay to have this taken care of?"

peter asked you the same thing when you parted ways earlier, but it was easier then to shrug off the severity of your injury. besides, you had to finish up some work at the lab. but here you were in front of shuri, completely exposed, no where to run.

"i...didn't have time. you can scold me later, okay? right now, i just want to relax."

you exhaled as shuri's fingers grazed your skin. with how preoccupied you had been — along with the guilt at hiding t'challa's illness from her — you and shuri hadn't been intimate in what felt like forever. it felt good to be close to her, for her to touch you again.

by then, shuri's clothes were soaked through, the white fabric of her shirt clinging to her skin, transparent enough to reveal her dark nipples underneath. you couldn't help but stare.

"like what you see?" shuri smirked. her fingers started trailing south, reaching your hips.

this made you roll your eyes, and you just had to smile at how cheeky your girlfriend was being.

"you know i do, pretty girl."

"hm. you said you wanted to relax?"

you nodded, and not even a second later shuri had her body pressed against yours. it sent a shiver through you, despite the warm water from the shower. she brought a tattoed hand up to your face, craddling your jaw.

"then relax," shuri whispered. she started placing kisses up your neck, and when she reached just below your ear, she added: "let me take care of you."

shuri gently pushed you against the wall, the ceramic tiles cool on your back. to your annoyance, she took her sweet time leaving kisses down your body.

"shuri," you whined when you felt her teeth graze one nipple while she pinched the other between her fingers.

"what is it, my love?" shuri pulled away from your chest. you knew she loved teasing you - something you mostly loved to hate. sex with shuri sometimes took hours: it was slow, deliberate, accompanied by an orchestra of laughter and moans and pleading (lots of pleading).

this time, though, she didn't even give you time to beg. shuri simply got on her knees in front of you. she briefly ran her tongue through your folds before tilting her head back to meet your gaze. "is this what you wanted?" shuri smirked when you moaned as she slid a finger into your cunt.

the shower went cold by the time you two were done.

you started drying off, carefully as to not further your injury. shuri left to put on fresh, dry clothes, leaving the ones she had soaked through in a wet heap on the floor. you were just slipping on your underwear when shuri returned, catching your eye in the mirror.

"what?" you chuckled at how coy she was being, hands behind her back as she rocked back and forth on her heels.

"i have a surprise for you," shuri sang. she moved from the doorway to standing behind you, the two of you looking at the mirror. "close your eyes." you complied and felt a coolness surround your neck. shuri placed a kiss on your jaw, which made you smile. "open them."

you were met with the sight of yourself, top half completely bare except for a deep purple pendant around your neck.

"do you like it?" shuri gently wrapped her arms around your waist, eyes never leaving your body in the mirror, and you allowed yourself to melt into her. "it reminded me of the sky on our first date, and how beautiful you looked." she reached a hand up to trace the silver chain. "i was thinking i'd remake this with vibranium, maybe make it so the necklace holds your suit like t'challa's. you'll have to wait until i get back to wakanda to make the upgrade, of course."

at the mention of her brother and her home country, you stiffened.

"shuri." you exhaled and you turned to face her. "are you sure that you don't want to go back to wakanda sooner?"

shuri tilted her head. "why would i do that?"

"i don't know. more time with your family...."

"i've spent my whole life with them," shuri countered. "i'm moving to new york so that we can start our life together."

"i didn't ask you to do that — "

"don't push me away, okay?" she interrupted, wrapping her arms around your waist once more as though they would keep you in place forever. "you've been doing that lately, and i know you're busy, we both are. but, life is crazy and scary and unpredictable, and all i know for sure is that i love you. and i need you."

you wished you could return her words, as you have many times before, but the sentiment now felt empty.

it felt wrong for you to let shuri love you passionately, when you were being so careless with her heart.

you tried to shake away that feeling, telling yourself that keeping t'challa's secret was the best situation to keep him healthy and shuri happy - to protect both of them from any pain or suffering.

you told yourself that enough times, you almost believed it was true.

shuri looked at you now, and for the first time, you felt the heat of her anger targeted towards you.

"how long? how long did you know my brother was dying and let me believe everything was okay? how long did you lie to me?"

you took a ragged breath. "two weeks."

"two weeks?" shuri shouted. "i couldn't save him because i didn't have enough time to find a cure. you took that from me."

"i spent that time trying to find a cure, but....but i wanted to protect you, at least for a little while."

"no one asked you to protect me!"

internally, you kept replaying what t'challa had said: he wanted shuri to be happy, yes, but she could never know that he came to you himself and told you he was sick weeks before he told her. you wanted to honor the promise you made him, even as you now felt shuri slipping through your fingers.

you were never a quitter, though. it was your best — and possibly most self-destructive — trait. you tried to approach shuri, to grab her hand, but the second you made contact, she jolted away.

"my brother is dead because of you."

her words felt like a knife. you felt dizzy — there was no way to stop the bleeding, so you sat back down on the bed to ground yourself.

"i....i tried to save him," you defended. "after i first found out, i tried to find a cure myself."

shuri scoffed, shaking her head and narrowing her eyes at you. "you just had to be the hero, didn't you? running around, wanting to save everyone. like you're the only one who can."

"i really tried," you choked. by now, you were holding back tears, feeling your head start to ache. you started massaging you temple to relieve some pressure, but it didn't work.

"and what kind of sick game are you playing, coming here pretending to be supportive? you're just feeling guilty."

guilty was definitely something you felt, but it wasn't why you came here.

you got back up and tried to approach shuri one more time, walking over to her slowly.

"i came here because i love you, shuri." your voice was softer than it had been before. "i loved t'challa, too -"

"don't you dare say his name," she growled, once again moving away from you briskly. "and i don't care if you love me, because i can never look at you the same way. we're done."

hands by your side, staring at shuri from the opposite side of the room, you almost couldn't process what she had said. she repeated her last sentence, this time a bit louder, and you shook your head as though to wake yourself up.

"shuri, please, don't do this. we're both in pain — "

"you have no idea the pain i'm in," shuri interrupted, and you noticed how she choked back a sob. "you can stop trying to be a hero for me. i don't want you. i don't need you." she paused. "not anymore."

to prove her point, shuri finally approached you. she tugged your necklace — the one she had so lovingly given you — hard enough for the clasp to break.

both of you were startled by the severity of her actions, how final it all felt. shuri looked, almost regretfully, at the purple pendant in her hand, but never met your gaze. she then turned away from you, the room settling into an uncomfortable silence as she waited for you to leave.

and you did, a few moments later.

[queen-of-the-avengers]

In The Before

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.5k

Warnings: angst, character being dusted

Request by anon: Angst with steve and vixen . Both gone off the track after accords vixen goes with steve and all else went good both layed low even married in secret . Angst comes in the form of Fucking thanos  , its the fight at wakanda shes next to steve while everyone is on the feild when the dust settle grim reality that the bad guy won . Both bucky called to steve but before he steped bucky disapeared . Vixen walked found steve to her horror steve sees his wife vixen disapear while whispering "i love y-" she turned to ash before finishing. 

Summary: The fight of your life is here and you'll do anything to protect Vision and the stone in his head. However, you've never faced an enemy like Thanos before.

Squares Filled: "This isn't a back alley. This is war." (2020) for @star-spangled-bingo

Cat and Mouse Masterlist

Author’s Note: i didn't go into too much detail about the fight at Wakanda and with Thanos since we've all seen Infinity War and we all know how the fight goes.

x

This dingy and run-down apartment isn’t the best place you’ve lived in but it’s a roof over your head. Right now, you and Steve will take what you can get. It’s been tough after the fight about the Accords. Tony made half the team fugitives so you and Steve are living outside the country against the law. If you’re caught, the government will treat you like hard-core criminals and lock you up for good.

You’re on your own here.

You take the microwavable food from the kitchen and walk over to the table where Steve is. He hasn’t looked the same since the big fight with Tony. He looks broken, a shell of the man he once was. It breaks your heart to see him this way, and it hurts even more knowing the team is broken up. A team that once stood together to fight what others couldn’t is now disassembled.

“You should eat something,” you say and place the food in front of him.

He looks up at you and gives a half smile before taking a bite. He misses his friends. He hates how the entire situation played out and wishes he could go home.

“How are you feeling?”

“Me? I’m doing alright.”

“I mean with Hydra. No trouble with them?”

“Not since I left Wakanda.”

It’s true. You’ve been free from their mind control for a few years now. It’s been so quiet inside your head, and you welcome the silence even if you didn’t at first. Bucky hasn’t been with you two since the Avengers broke up, but you keep tabs on each other since he has the same fears as you. What if Hydra got ahold of you again? Could they put that back inside your head? Could you be a puppet again?

Zemo hasn’t been seen since you let him go. You haven’t had the desire to go after him like you promised you would. Seeing the fear on his face when you caught him was punishment enough. He will always be looking over his shoulder for you since you can come from anywhere, and that’s enough to satisfy you right now.

“How are the others? You were gone all day,” you ask and eat.

“Buck is doing as well as he can. He’s still having nightmares. Nat and Sam are helping him through it. Wanda and Vision are still off the grid. Nat has regular check-ups with them so I’m not too worried.”

“I’m glad she has someone like Vision. He gave up what he believed in to be with her. If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”

“I know it’s rough right now, but we’ll find a better place than this. I’ll give it a few years before we can go home.”

“Believe it or not, this isn’t much different than the missions I went on. Bucky and I used to stay in places like this. Though, if we’re going to continue to live here, then we need a proper bed instead of a mattress on the floor.”

Steve laughs at this. “We’ll get one together tomorrow.”

After dinner, you two head to bed together. It’s another rough night but you make the most of it. In the morning, Natasha calls the phone you reserved for emergencies only. Wanda and Vision are in trouble. Bruce and Tony are in trouble in New York. Apparently, someone named Thanos is on a mission to get all six Infinity Stones, and one of them happens to be in Vision’s head.

Vision and Wanda are located in Scotland so that’s where you and Steve meet up with Nat, Bucky, and Sam. Two of Thanos’ children are after the stone in Vision’s head, but they can’t take on all six of you at once. Wanda and Vision did most of the fighting before you were able to get to them, so your team made the finishing move that caused one of them to be stabbed by his own spear. They left back into their alien ship before leaving.

“What the hell is going on? Who were those people?” you ask.

“I don’t know but they want the stone. Vision has been injured,” Wanda panics.

“What are we going to do?” you ask Steve.

“We go home.”

Looks like you’re going home after months of leaving it behind. You’re not sure what you’re going to walk into when you touch back down in New York, but you have to be prepared for anything. However, nothing prepared you for what you came across. Dr. Strange, Tony, and Peter have been sucked into an alien spaceship that was trying to take the time stone.

It doesn’t matter who you’re talking to or not, Earth needs defending from everyone available.

Thanos tried to get Vision’s stone once and failed, so you know he will be back with more reinforcements later. The only place on Earth that might be able to handle the fight is Wakanda. They are more than happy to assist your team in the fight that is likely to come.

“How are we going to do this? They’re not going to stop until they get that stone.”

“What if we remove it from Vision? He’s more than the stone, anyway. Can he survive without it?” you ask Shuri.

“It’s not going to be easy but I think I can separate the stone from him. It’s going to take time.”

“How much time do you need?” Steve asks.

“As much as you can give me.”

“Alright, Wanda, you gotta stay up here and protect the stone. You’re the only one with the power to do so. The rest of us are going to be on the field. They’re not going to go easy on us so we aren’t either. This isn’t a back alley. This is war,” Steve says.

“You heard him. Let’s go,” T’Challa says and walks toward the door. “Someone, get his man a shield!”

You along with everyone else line up on the battlefield just as alien ships come crashing to Earth. They try to hit the Wakanda barrier but explode on impact since they can’t get through it. Most of the ships land outside of the barrier, and a bunch of alien dogs come rushing out savagely. They try to get through the barrier but are killing themselves when the barrier slices right through them. For every five that are killed, one of them gets through.

This is going to be the fight of your life, and you channel your inner Vixen for this fight. You use every weapon at your disposal, every skill Hydra beat into you, and every gun that is handed to you. You’re giving the aliens everything you’ve got but it doesn’t seem to be enough. Only when Thor comes from wherever he was, does the fight seem fair. He has a new axe that replaced the hammer his sister broke, and he uses it to kill as many aliens as he can.

At one point, Wanda is forced out of her hiding space to help in the fight, and that’s when Thanos strikes. He sends the two aliens whom Wanda fought in Scotland to grab the stone. Most Wakandans stay in the field to keep most of the aliens busy while your team heads to the other side of the place where Vision is.

“Hey, are you okay?” you ask Vision and go to his side.

“He’s coming whether we like it or not. You should all get out of here.”

“We’re not leaving you. Eyes up, everyone,” Steve says.

It didn’t take long for Thanos to come with the time stone. He must have persuaded Dr. Strange to give it to him, but it’s unlikely he did it without violence. Steve tries to fight Thanos and loses. Natasha and Bruce try and they fail. T’Challa tries and fails. Bucky, Groot, and Rocket try and fail. You try and fail.

The only person stopping Thanos from getting the stone is Wanda, and she uses her magic to keep him back as she uses her magic to destroy the stone. It’s breaking her heart to hurt the one she loves but it has to be done. The stone must be destroyed so that Thanos can’t use it.

However, he has the time stone so after Wanda successfully destroys the stone, Thanos puts it back together just so he can steal it. He kills Vision right in front of Wanda and acquires the stone. He does what he set out to do years earlier.

He snaps his fingers.

Thor managed to lodge his axe into Thanos’ chest but that doesn’t stop Thanos from actually snapping his fingers, and then he disappears using the space stone. Your team is left to pick up the pieces after the big war.

“Is that it? Did we lose?” you ask and stand up.

Silence befalls Wakanda. Thanos got what he wanted. There is no need for the fight any longer. The alien dogs that are still alive retreat. Something doesn’t feel right. Thanos wanted to wipe out half of the universe.

“Steve?” Bucky says.

You and Steve look at him and see him turn to dust. You look to your right and see Groot turn to dust. Wanda turns to dust. T’Challa turns to dust. You look down and see your hand start to turn to dust.

“Steve?” you gasp and look at him.

“Y/N? No!”

“I love y--”

You turn to dust completely, leaving Steve and the remaining Avengers all alone.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[averagewriter-inthedark]

My Wingman 💋| Joaquin Torres Marvel Headcanon

Link to my marvel Masterlist

Joaquin Torres crushing on an avenger would look like:

Just shortly before the Ultron drama, you were a young recruit to the avengers after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Unbeknownst to the team—especially Natasha—you were a former Black Widow who escaped the red room during a mission and defected to the U.S. before Dreykov could track you. Because the Red Room was constantly moving, you were clueless to where it could have gone and for your protection Fury had your identity changed and record concealed from the rest of the organization. This of course had people wary and suspicious of you—considering you were exceptional in the field—but you kept a low profile and did whatever Fury asked of you. He promised to inform you if the Red Room every came on their radar and vowed to help you take it down when the time came.

Unfortunately that promise would not happen with the implementation of the Sokovia Accords. Fury was off the grid, and your teammates were at odds with one another. Though you verbally remained neutral and did not physically get involved when the fight in Germany occurred, behind the scenes you were supportive of Steve and became close with him and Sam. You finally went rogue at 17 when Natasha confronted you after she discovered your identity and the fact the Red Room was still active. “Fury knew didn’t he? This whole time—you both knew Dreykov was still out there!” “It’s more complicated than you think, Natasha. I was barely fourteen when I escaped and had no where else to go! Fury did what he had to protect me. We both have tried tracking the Red Room but have gotten no leads.” “Well I have one. So let’s go end this once and for all.”

Together you two took down Dreykov with the help of her adoptive family before ultimately meeting up with Steve to break the others out of the Raft. For two years you went on the run. Then in 2018 you all were called to battle against the Mad Titan, Thanos, where you lost half of the population when he succeeded in his mission. For five years you and Natasha remained at the compound, doing whatever you could to maintain the Avengers. And when the opportunity came to fix it all, you were left heartbroken at the loss of her and Tony.

Sam took you under his wing (pun intended) when you and the other former fugitives received pardons. Steve was gone, the Avengers were not so much an active organization anymore, and the Accords had been abolished. You pretty much became a government agent again—with your true identity now that Dreykov was long gone. Every agency wanted you; FBI, CIA, Homeland Security, OSI, the Secret Service, even the goddamn Marshals were calling you to be one of their operatives. “Have you decided whose badge you’ll wear yet?” “I’ve pretty much narrowed it down to either the CIA or OSI. Ross is with the CIA so that’s a plus, but with OSI I could work with you when you’re off with the Air Force. Honestly, Sam, I feel like just becoming a free lance so I can get a taste of everything.”

In the end, you did become a free lance agent under the code name ‘Red Widow,’ as not to be confused with Natasha since she was always known as THE Black Widow. You wore a similar suit she did, except yours was red and the hourglass on the belt was black. You enjoyed being a free lance agent where you got to be flexible with what you did. But boy was it fucking hell at times. One week you’re escorting the President, the next you’re investigating a potential threat to the country, and (like most times) you’re partnering with Sam when he finds himself in a pickle. It’s on one of those many adventures with Sam that you meet First Lieutenant Joaquin Torres.

After the threatening phone call from Karlie, Sam had called you and you immediately sent a team of agents to protect his sister & nephews before getting on a plane to Riga. It was not even a second after you landed that you received dozens of phone calls, emails, texts, and news notifications about what took place in the middle of a crowded area between John Walker and a member of the Flag Smashers. You pretty much hauled ass to the location when you finally got a hold of Sam—and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel satisfaction at being the one to cuff Walker and escort him to the SUV.

Finally you find your friends, running into Bucky on his way out where you two exchanged words on what he was about to do. “Need me to get in touch with Okoye for you?” “I’m already on it—don’t worry about me.” After saying goodbye you entered the doorway to see Sam and a young Air Force Officer chatting. “Hope I’m not interrupting.” “You’re right on time, Red.” Your voice had the officer, who had his back to you, spinning around to which he froze when y’all made eye contact. First thing you thought was, ‘Damn he’s a cutie.’

Joaquin was practically smitten upon first glance. There was a light blush to his cheeks when he unconsciously checked you as you strutted up to the pair in your eye catching Red Widow suit. When Sam introduced him, the man couldn’t even find his voice, “Uh-Uh hi. I-I’m Torres—Joa-Joaquin Torres.” Sam looked amused, as did you, “Nice to meet you, Joaquin. I’ve got many names, but you can call me Y/n or Red.” Your wink at the end pretty much sealed the deal, Joaquin thinking, ‘Oh yeah, I’m screwed.”

Anytime Sam called you after that Joaquin would silently looking forward to seeing you. He thought you were absolutely beautiful, funny, intelligent, and a complete badass. The first time he saw you in action the man was rendered speechless. Of course he knew who you were (after restoring the population, you and the remaining avengers were international heroes) so Joaquin was pretty much a fanboy (if you know you know 😉). Seeing you take down ten men twice your size in the flesh was something he literally bragged to his squadron about for days.

You were well aware of the little crush Joaquin had on you. And to be honest, you shared the feeling. The first time you saw him you thought he was adorable with his cute smile and blushing cheeks (not to mention he looked damn good in uniform). Anytime Sam called you up and Joaquin was there, you couldn’t pass on the opportunity to flirt with him. “Nice to see your pretty face again, Torres.” “I heard that Sam gave you his old wings…have you decided what to do with them? I could use a wingman now that Sam is off being Captain America and hardly needs me anymore.”

Something about you implying you’d want him as a wingman motivated Joaquin to finish fixing up the wings he had already started working on. It excited him to work with you from behind the scenes, but he was itching to get in the air/on the ground and be an asset alongside you. Sam could tell what his goal was, so the older man slowly took Joaquin under his wing like he did you to help prepare him for the superhero life.

When it finally came time for Joaquin to join in on the action, he became your eyes in the sky while you scouted the ground. The Air Force was pretty much your main employer (similar to Sam) but you still did work for other agencies. And since you and Joaquin worked so well together, it was no surprise you’d call him up for help. He was your wingman after all. Not too long after, you two were a team sought after by the many agencies you did free lance work for. “Damn that’s the third mission this month! Don’t you ever get tired of this sometimes?” “Everyday, but I gotta keep the bills paid, pretty boy.”

Your friendship was very flirtatious. People often thought you two were a thing and were surprised to find out they were wrong. You teased and bickered, gave little glances when the other wasn’t looking and complimented each other. His name in your phone was literally ‘pretty boy💋’ and yours was either ‘muñeca🧸’ (doll) or ‘hermosa🥰’ (beautiful). Each time y’all would call the other the pet names, you’d both blush. The crushes on each other definitely increased with each flirtatious remark.

“Damn girl, you know how to make an entrance.” “Wait don’t go yet, let me commit your face to memory in case I die out there.”

“Imma need you to focus, Torres. I know I’m exceptional to look at, but I don’t want that pretty face of yours getting hurt because you’re distracted.” “If you die out there, who’s gonna dance with me at next months officers ball?”

It would be a good time before Joaquin finally worked up the courage to ask you out. As much as he liked you, there was the fear it would ruin the friendship y’all had created. Joaquin admired you from afar and would brush aside his feelings when it came time to business, but at the end of the day there was no denying he wished for something more. At one point Sam even brought it up, wondering why he hadn’t made a move. “It’s complicated, Sam. She’s my wingman and I’d hate to lose her.” “Torres, I see the way she looks at you. Have you ever noticed she never flirts with anyone else when we go out. At banquets people hit on her, but her eyes are only on you. Trust me, she wants the same thing as you.”

Although Sam’s words made him confident, Joaquin was still anxious it wouldn’t work. So he continued to harbor his crush on you from behind the scenes. Finally you had enough and decided to take matters into your own hands after a mission. It had been nearly a year since y’all met and quite frankly your feelings for Joaquin were starting to become overwhelming. “Are we gonna dance around this forever, Torres? Or, am I gonna have to drag you to the bar to have a drink with me and kick this off once and for all?”

At his incredulous expression, you walked up with your hands coming to his collar to pulled him toward you. That finally had him snap out of his daze, face red by how flustered he was. But within his expression was joy and awe, “I-uh. Are you sure, y/n? I care about you so much a-and I know I’ve made my crush on you painfully obvious b-but I-I don’t wanna ruin what we have—.” “Joaquin, you’ll always be my wingman because I trust you more than anyone else on this planet. The fact you are blind to see I feel the same about is both shocking and adorable. I want you to be my wingman both on and off the field in a more personal manner. So what do you say?”

Let’s just say, the kiss you received was him a great answer.

[sinestrosmind]

Okay, these ones are for Flame!

✈️ AIRPLANE — does your oc like traveling, or do they consider themselves a more homey person? 🖤 BLACK HEART — has your oc killed or seriously wounded anyone before? have they broken someone's heart and/or broken someone's trust? 🤩 FACE WITH STARRY EYES — is your oc a planner, or are they more spontaneous in their actions?

details about ocs!

✈️ AIRPLANE — does your oc like traveling, or do they consider themselves a more homey person?

Going with Ironverse for all of these!!

When Stark was still around, Flame used to love to travel. She'd go with him to various different parties when he asked if she wanted to go, and it was helpful for her to learn how to operate in the human world. She had fun, so long as Stark was there.

Post-Endgame, though... Flame doesn't like to go to places unless she has to. Nine months after the war, Flame had found Recovery had her original collar. She'd made an algorithm to find Infinity Stone level power signatures because she doesn't know how the stones work exactly, so she's pulling a Tony Stark and making her own fear-driven mistake like he did with Ultron. Whenever she finds an alarming power signature, she goes and investigates that universe.

A year and a half after the war, Flame travels only to help Director Fury, which leads her to getting in the crossfire between Fury and the Skrulls, ending up with her having an Arc Reactor implant just like Stark had years ago.

🖤 BLACK HEART — has your oc killed or seriously wounded anyone before? have they broken someone's heart and/or broken someone's trust?

Flame has killed many before, either because she's had to or because she was... Not in the right headspace at the time. The Avengers and anyone connected doesn't know about the darker time.

As for breaking someone's heart or trust; during the events of Civil War, Flame was on neither Team Iron Man nor Team Cap. She was in the middle, fighting both sides, trying to put a stop to the infighting because she knew there were other ways to go about this and she hates infighting.

At least until it's found out that Bucky assassinated Stark's parents. Then she sided against Steve and Bucky. Flame's been bitter with Steve ever since, but ESPECIALLY post-Endgame where he didn't even say goodbye to her.

This all hurt both Flame and the people she was close to. If she could have a do-over, she'd find a way to do things differently. Maybe it would've kept the Avengers together so they could've won the first fight against Thanos.

🤩 FACE WITH STARRY EYES — is your oc a planner, or are they more spontaneous in their actions?

Both pre and post endgame, Flame's a planner for major choices, especially in battles. Post-Endgame especially does a lot of planning even when panic building, at least until she gets a bit of a Stark streak and says "fuck it" and just does something she wants to do because she can for one reason or another.

She's tired, she's been through a lot, she's allowed to have a little fun, and so she does have a little fun from time to time when she feels like it. She could be sitting in her workshop and suddenly go "I wanna do this thing" and she gets up and goes and does the thing.

[themculibrary]

Peter Quill Masterlist 2

part one

20 questions (ao3) - bevioletskies gamora/peter T, 118k

Summary: Wasp has a new competition in store for the students of Avengers Academy, and there’s money involved. So obviously, Peter and Gamora have to pretend to be a couple in order to win. Wait, what?

a bother-figure (ao3) - judypoovey T, 7k

Summary: It wasn’t going to do him any good to get all sentimental and excited about meeting his dad, considering his dad had kidnapped his sort-of-replacement dad.

all fucked up and no place to go (ao3) - scioscribe drax/gamora/peter E, 4k

Summary: Peter Quill is the only omega in all of space.

It sucks.

A Matter of Restraint (ao3) - fayedartmouth T, 3k

Summary: Peter’s not exactly known for his brilliant strategies.

And Get Nowhere (ao3) - Wawa_Girl gamora/peter T, 7k

Summary: "Why?" Gamora asked from several feet below them, an eyebrow raised and her tone slightly less hard - curious, suspicious, like she wasn't sure whether to buy this explanation.

Peter didn't know if she was asking, 'Why is that a common joke on Earth?' or 'Why weren't you thinking before spitting it out right now?' but either way his quick reply was the same. "No idea!" he said with the biggest fake smile. "No clue, makes no sense, stupid--I don't know why it slipped out, meant nothing, forget it, I'm sorry..." he continued rambling and reassuring to spare himself the fate of sleeping outside for the next month during the impending hail storm.

(Or: Sometimes Peter has really bad "no filter" days, and rooftop antics ensue.)

Base of Support (ao3) - interabang T, 3k

Summary: The Guardians discover that Yondu would do anything (when he feels like it) to give Peter help when he needs it.

break the chain (ao3) - evotter T, 16k

Summary: “Thanos is the worst threat you could possibly imagine.” Gamora says. Her voice sets a chill in Peter’s bones. “We need to get ahead of him as quickly as we possibly can or we will lose if he even gets the slightest bit in front of us. Please, Peter Parker. We need all the help we can get. You do this for us, and we will do something for you. Anything you need.”

Anything is pretty nice. Especially considering he might need them to guard him so Tony doesn’t totally murder him. And they seem like nice enough people. And if Strange trusts them… “Okay,” says Peter, rather reluctantly. “I’ll go with you guys to space.“

(or: peter contacts star-lord and meets the guardians of the galaxy. not infinity war/endgame compliant.)

bring it on home to me (ao3) - bevioletskies T, 19k

Summary: The fight of everyone’s lives may be over, but for Nebula, Peter, and the rest of the Guardians, the search for the person they love most has just begun.

don’t need no credit card to ride this train (ao3) - Sholio T, 5k

Summary: Peter gets a second chance to make a very important change.

Five times Rocket claimed Peter as his own (and one time he realised what it meant) (ao3) - prosodiical peter/rocket T, 4k

Summary: "You," says Rocket lowly, "keep your distance, and I won't have to kill you." He pauses, then adds, as though it isn't obvious enough already, "He's mine."

Rocket's got a bit of a possessiveness problem when it comes to Peter Quill.

Fox on the Run (ao3) - Sholio T, 13k

Summary: When bounty hunters get the drop on Yondu, 11-year-old Peter is the only person in a position to do anything about it.

Go For The Throat (ao3) - laylabinx T, 9k

Summary: Peter finds out the hard way what it means to be the Ravager mascot and Yondu uses this as an opportunity to teach him how to kick someone’s ass.

Happiness Goes On (ao3) - Wawa_Girl gamora/peter T, 25k

Summary: "What does it mean? The day the music died?"

The words were said without the inquisitor looking at the human beside her, owner and expert of the tunes they were sharing.

"I guess..." Peter spoke up, his tone distant. Faraway. Lost. Gamora realized she would have given nearly anything to obtain Mantis' powers and know what he was feeling, what was going on in his head. "It means when people stop...appreciating it. Or learning from it? Or...use music to do...bad things."

Please Rewind (ao3) - interabang gamora/peter E, 4k

Summary: When Rocket and Groot gift Peter with a TV and VHS tapes, he’s excited to relive his childhood memories with the group - so excited, in fact, that he won’t stop talking throughout the movie. After his rambling drives the other Guardians away, Gamora quickly finds a way to shut him up.

Ruins (ao3) - TheFictionalMe gamora/peter M, 51k

Summary: Five times Peter told Gamora to go right, and one time he didn’t.

“Why does somebody always have to die in this scenario?”

Vacation! All I Ever Wanted (ao3) - clockheartedcrocodile gamora/peter E, 7k

Summary: The Guardians of the Galaxy have a nice day at the boardwalk.

you lay your bets and then you pay the price (ao3) - orphan_account gamora/peter T, 32k

Summary: (or: five times Peter idiotically risks his life for Gamora, and the one time he… can’t)

Zuneology (ao3) - interabang gamora/peter T, 13k

Summary: After the war, Gamora listens to Peter's music player and reflects on her memories with him.

[withoutawar]

it's come to my attention that there may be some misunderstanding around the url withoutawar. it's in reference to when ultron calls steve, ' god's righteous man, pretending you could live without a war. ' and what steve says to tony at the end of the movie, ‘ family, stability ? the guy who wanted all that went in the ice 75 years ago. i think someone else came out. ’ pair this with peggy telling steve that she has lived a life, and her only regret is that he didn’t get to live his is interpreted on this blog as steve taking a step forward in moving on from his lost past ( because up until that point, he was a man out of time. ) 

it is not in reference to steve passing on the shield and supposedly retiring ( fanon ), getting trapped in and / or returning to the past ( au. ) on this blog he doesn't actually retire. returning the stones is his final act as captain america. what he sees on the journey, glimpses of time that he missed / could have had, glimpses of worlds beyond his imagination . . . it certainly puts things into perspective but it's not enough for steve to disappear from the world, to not be there when there's the smallest possibility he might be needed. his past, and what his future could have been will always be there to taunt him - we see that first hand when he freezes when he sees peggy in the 1970s retrieving the extra pym particles. 

steve struggling  with what he’s going to do with himself is not a cap issue, it's a steve issue because it started before the serum. it started when he was the smallest kid in class and couldn't protect himself or others from the bullies. it continued when he was older and couldn't help his sick mother put away groceries because the flu that season hit him harder than her. it manifested when every other man was either volunteering or being drafted into the war and he viewed his illnesses as a get out of jail free card. the notion of ' going home after the war ' is stripped from him the minute he takes the serum and instead of america ' getting an army, all they got was him. '

now that is childhood trauma on top of the expectations he placed on himself after the serum that he has to overcome to even feel like he deserves to have a break, or a life outside of being of service. he hasn't even thought about it come 2-3 years out of the ice. 4 years later, tony actually has to remind him that the reason they fight is so they can go home afterwards and steve's like a home ??? what is that. he says he’s home gazing off at the avengers compound. and maybe it can be interpreted that he means he’s home in this ‘ time ’ now, which is another hurdle he had to overcome. i strongly believe this was a turning point for him. he had 5 years to think about it after thanos fucked the world in half --- but losing to thanos only added to that hatred of feeling helpless and honestly, left him with more issues despite giving him the opportunity in the form of time to heal.

steve has many struggles but this blog does predominantly ( at least current phase ) explore the obligation steve feels to serve the world because of the gift he was given in the form of the serum, how the serum itself is like any other power e.g. thor's lightning, tony's armour but because it physically makes steve up he cannot separate himself from it, and he cannot separate himself from his service to his country and the world. there will need to be a shift in the way he views himself, the way he talks and treats himself, the way he views the serum, and a drastic shift in his priorities for him to ever not serve ( even though the definition of that has varied through the years. ) endgame was bogus for a lot of reasons but the number 1 reason is that they didn't provide us with when or why that shift happened.

people argue that steve and / or cap is a boring character because he’s apparently a fully fledged good man  straight out of the womb, whereas the traditional journey a lot of other characters take is redemption, or finding themselves etc. this doesn’t apply to steve, as much, but he does still have a lot of growing to do, and because we were robbed of that in what should have been the 3rd cap movie . . . i explore that on this blog. i’m not turning down the possibility of steve eventually learned to put down the fight, but that it needs to come through plot / verse exploration and i’m down to figure it out.

[percontaion-points]

Court chapters 64-67

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 64

“There’s not a lot more to tell,” my uncle says. 

Macy looks down at her sleeping, shivering mother and answers, “Oh, I think there is.” 

He sighs. “She didn’t want you to know. Neither of us did. We wanted to keep you away from the front lines.”

MACY, YOU WERE EIGHT. 

“So why didn’t the queen do something?” Macy asks. “If Cyrus didn’t kill Mom because he feared retaliation from the Witch Court, why didn’t Imogen parlay that into a pardon for Mom?” 

“She did do something,” Uncle Finn explains. “She got him to commute her sentence from death to life in prison.” 

Macy’s laugh is harsh and painful to hear. “And she thinks that’s fair?”

The stupidest part about this conversation is that Macy is acting like her father (and everybody else) literally went “Rowena has been sentenced to be tortured and imprisoned for all time! Oh well, there’s literally nothing we can do about that!” She’s getting angry at her father when he literally tells her a single sentence about what happened, immediately followed by a “and then”. This conversation would have been over already if she didn’t stop interrupting him to get angry every two seconds!

“You’ve had ten years to free my mother. It’s my turn now, and I won’t fail.”

Sweetie, you came into the vampire court and were caught within seconds. You’ve literally already failed. 

“And here I thought I was going to need an insulin shot to get through the cute little family reunion. Looks like a ball gag would have been a better choice.”

Chapter 64 summary: Finn tells them that Rowena owed the Crone a favour. But when called upon, Rowena failed at her task. We don’t know what this task was, but I think it was to spy on the vampire court. She was to be put to death by Cyrus, but the witch queen is Rowena’s cousin, and she managed to reduce the sentence to life in prison. Throughout the entire thing, Macy keeps interrupting to be outraged that her dad failed, despite him telling her over and over that they worked for YEARS to even get that much. She’s an immature brat, and I’m fucking over her bullshit. 

Chapter 65

And falls into line with the rest of us as we follow Cyrus to the front of the dungeon and upstairs, where I’m afraid the real torture takes place.

Chapter 65 summary: The previously unknown Vega sister shows up. Finn identifies her as Isadora; Hudson still doesn’t know who she is. 

Anyway, when nobody wants to go with her, Cyrus shows up. He tries to get somebody to go with him, but when there’s still no takers, he kills a random freshman girl. The group then follows him upstairs. 

Chapter 66

I just wish I knew how to stop it.

Chapter 66 summary: As they go to an unknown location, Cyrus decides to point out how fucking stupid Grace has been since the get-go. With the prison, but especially when she literally walked into his court. Grace knows he’s right, but doesn’t verbally acknowledge him. 

For some reason, this needs to take 5 goddamned pages. 

Chapter 67

Cyrus cuts him off mid-sentence by plunging the metal rods deep into Liam’s chest. Macy screams. Jaxon rattles his restraints as he tries to break free. And the rest of us stare, speechless, as Liam freezes mid-argument. 

[Image description: A screenshot from Avengers: Endgame of Thanos. He is a large, purple alien with a wrinkly-chin, wearing black armour. He stands before a battlefield that’s on fire, although this is blurred with distance. It is captioned with “I don’t even know who you are.” End description]

Because Isadora is Cyrus’s secret weapon for stealing magic and right now, she’s taking every single drop that Liam has.

Chapter 67 summary: Cyrus chains them up, and Grace tries really hard to keep his attention focused on her. It’s nothing but a Hail Mary to allow her friends a chance to figure things out. 

Cyrus then quotes, word for word, something that the bloodletter had said about the gargoyle army. Surprise, they were sold out. However, I can’t pretend to be surprised that it was some random background character. A “friend” of Jaxon’s who was barely mentioned in passing. Cyrus stabs him with these metal rods, although it doesn’t kill him right away. 

Isadora then goes over, puts her hand on the rods, puts her other hand on “daddy” (the books word, not mine), and begins to channel all of Liam’s energy into Cyrus. 

[sinner-as-saint]

we can’t stop, we’re enemies.

Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader AU

Run-through: After the events of the last battle against Thanos, you teamed up with Sam and Bucky to carry on your superhero duties. You got along with Sam just fine, he was a really good friend to you. Bucky however, was not. From constant banters, to unnecessary hand-to-hand combat, to purposely getting each other in trouble during risky missions, to being the main cause of Sam’s migraines; it was safe to say that you and Bucky considered yourselves to be each other’s nemesis. Although that soon changes when, courtesy of your silly banters, a certain mission goes slightly wrong - one which involves strong chemicals which, unbeknownst to you, were designed to mess with the brain and hormones, thus encouraging the need to breed and procreate amongst all those who inhale it...

Themes: enemies-to-lovers, smut, sex pollen trope, dirty talk, swear words, fluff

“How is it going up there Sam, talk to me.” 

You spoke, waiting to hear from Sam through the ear piece. 

The three of you were on a mission on unfamiliar lands. Rumor had it that some shady organization was conducting illegal experiments. The whole location was spooky, and you needed to be thorough and quick. So Sam decided to get an aerial view along with Red Wing, and see if there are any threats coming your way while you and Bucky decided to check out the underground laboratories. 

The whole place was shadowy and old, it almost seemed like no one had been here in a long time. But still, these people were criminals so you had to gather every evidence you could which would lead you their way. 

And so far, after exploring the place for the past half an hour, you found nothing major. Just weird laboratory glassware filled with liquids and what not. 

“Sam?” you called out again into the ear piece, keeping your gun at the ready. “Say something damn it.” 

His reply came. “There’s something sketchy about the building at the back, I’m gonna go check it out. But you have to promise me you won’t kill each other by the time I get back.” 

You and Bucky sent death glares at each other in disgust. He was on the other side of the lab, flipping through files and papers, while you were searching the cabinets and drawers. The two of you were separated by a steel workstation. Dark leather jacket, metal arm exposed; you’d find him handsome if he wasn’t so annoying. 

“Sure, whatever.” Bucky mumbled, being his grumpy self. 

You frowned at him, “Dude, drop your fucking attitude.” 

Bucky rolled his eyes at you, “Don’t tell me what to do.”

Sam roared through the ear piece, “Enough! Focus, you two are in the labs and we don’t know what’s in there. Just, maybe look out for each other. Okay? I’m going in.”

“Be careful, Sam.” You spoke, sending another dirty look at Bucky. 

“Yeah y-,” 

Sam got cut off. All you could hear was some static noises and then complete silence. 

“Sam? Can you hear us?” Bucky tried reaching out but neither of you could hear him. “This isn’t good.” 

“Damn it!” You cursed. “Maybe he flew out of range. Or maybe we’re too deep under.” 

For once in his life he nodded, agreeing with you. “Let’s just hurry up and see what we can find. We need to get out of here as fast as we can and get to the Jet.” He said, flipping through more and more files and papers, his metal arm glistening in the poorly lit room. 

You sassed in the same tone he used before, “Don’t tell me what to do.” And you earned yourself another glare from him. 

Fifteen minutes later and you two still had nothing to work with. 

“This is useless. There’s nothing here, this is just bullshit.” Bucky complained, slamming down a file on the workstation so hard that it made you jump. 

You were annoyed. You slammed a cabinet shut and turned to face him. “Oh I’m sorry princess, is work getting too tiring? Do you need a break? Hmm?” 

“Shut up, you’re the one who keeps whining all the time.” He wasn’t wrong. 

You stepped forward, grabbing the edge of the cold workstation. “Well maybe if you’d quit complaining and actually do your part of the job, then I wouldn’t have to whine about always doing everything on my own and you taking credit for it in front of Sam.” 

He leaned forward, his metal arm already denting his side of the edge of the workstation. “Maybe if you’d stop bitching about everything and everyone all the time then maybe we’d get along and actually get shit done.” 

You leaned in too. “Or maybe if just me and Sam teamed up, we’d work better. I still don’t know why he keeps you around. Take your metal arm away, what are you? Exactly, just a hundred year old, confused man.” 

He smirked. “And what are you? Just a spoilt, whiny brat who knows how to use a gun?” He knew just what to say to get the reaction he wanted out of you. 

In less than a few seconds you had your loaded gun out in front of you, aiming it at his forehead. “And guess what, she never misses a target.” You spat at him. 

You had done this before; aiming guns at each other until Sam comes to break the tension. But Sam wasn’t here this time. 

Bucky knew you would never pull the trigger on him so he gave you a handsome, arrogant smirk which only pissed you off even more. “Come on, shoot.” He provoked you. 

“Stop pissing me off.” You warned. 

“Or what? You’re gonna shoot me for calling you a whiny, spoilt brat? See, that’s exactly what brats do.” 

“James, stop.” Oh he was getting on your nerves. You were agitated. 

He just smirked and went on. “I actually believe that that might be your superpower, destroying people by annoying them to death with how much of a brat you can actually be.” 

You glared at him, unmoving, furious. You placed your forefinger on the trigger. “Say brat one more time and I will blow your fucking head off and when Sam asks, I’ll make it seem like an accident.” 

He leaned closer, aligning his forehead to the barrel of your gun. He stared at you with his stormy, ocean blue eyes; inciting you to just pull the damn trigger. He watched you with mischief in his eyes. “Brat.” He mouthed, smirking right after and waiting for your reaction. 

You clenched your jaw and shifted your aim just a little so that the bullet misses him but still shoots right by his ear. You pulled the trigger without hesitation, shooting at the shelf filled with dark red and brown liquids behind Bucky. 

Bucky maintained his calm and composure despite the loud sound of the shattering glass falling on the tiles right behind him. “Brat.” He said again, out loud this time. 

“I hate you.” You lowered your gun but then noticed something behind Bucky. Smoke, or some sort of vapor oozing out of the broken flasks and test tubes. You froze for a second. “Bucky, look.” You walked around the workstation and joined him on the other side. 

The vapor quickly filled the room like thick fog, reducing visibility and making your throat burn a little. You coughed; once, twice. You looked beside you and Bucky was standing there with a look of horror on his face. 

The moment his supersoldier sense got a whiff of the vapor, something in him ignited. No… 

“We have to get out of here. Now.” You heard his voice, then felt his cold fingers wrap around your wrists as he tugged you along, making his way out of the lab. He tried to hold his breath but he couldn’t hold it very long. He tried to find the door to exit the room but that was hard too because neither of you could see properly. 

“This stuff,” you spoke in between coughs, “will probably kill us, won’t it?” You held on tightly to his arm. “You need to get us out of here now.” The vapor was reducing your visibility more and more. 

He felt the side of the wall, looking for the metal handle of the door through which you entered the lab. “It won’t kill us.” He growled as he looked beside him. You were standing close to him, so close, holding on to his arm tightly, a thin layer of sweat covered your face. 

It was almost funny how you had your gun aimed at him just a minute ago and now you were relying on him for protection. 

“How can you be so sure? Do you know what this stuff is?” You asked. 

He sighed. He knew. “I have a hunch, but let’s hope I’m wrong.” He felt warm. Deep inside something stirred in him. Animalistic, primal, feral. It was there, pressing and burning. Guess he wasn’t wrong. 

He finally found the door and he pushed it open, letting the two of you out and you took off running at once. You tried to reach Sam. A couple tries later, he finally responded. “I got some names, I think we got what we’re looking for. Where are you guys?” 

“We found…. uh, nothing. We’re on our way to the jet, meet us there.” Bucky responded, running beside you. 

You were confused out of your mind, not to mention you felt feverish. Hot, and you were sweating more than usual in places you’d rather not think about. Something in you was yearning to break free. You felt chained, you needed release. You felt like something had awakened inside of you; a deep hunger. Aroused, you felt aroused. Or was it just the adrenaline rush? 

By the time you tried to figure out what was actually going on with you, you both had made it to the Jet. 

“I feel sick.” you mumbled, stumbling on your way inside the jet. “I think… I think that smoke poisoned me.” You placed your palm against the side of the plane to hold on so you don’t fall. You felt like gravity wasn’t pulling you down anymore. You were a little out of breath. 

Then you felt a cold hand on your shoulder. You grimaced as it only ignited the fire which you just found out had been burning inside you since you left the lab. 

“You’re not poisoned. You’re not sick, you’re gonna be okay. We just have to… we have to get home.” Bucky was worse than you were. His enhanced senses allowed him to feel everything you felt, times ten perhaps. 

His heart raced as he got a whiff of your fading perfume, mixed with the adrenaline pumping through your veins and your natural, raw scent. He could feel your arousal from here, and it pulled him in so easily. All he wanted to do was to tear your suit off, pin you up against the side of the Jet and fuck the living hell out of you, stretch you out and just rail you until you could no longer take it. 

Fuck. 

You looked up at him; heart racing, palms sweating and even your mouth was salivating more than usual. “You know what that thing was, don’t you?” You asked, ignoring the way his cold hand upon your shoulder made you want to lean into his touch even more. “What was it?” 

You saw the look in his hooded eyes. Bucky sighed, pulling his hand away from you and the loss of contact made you whimper ever so quietly. You felt warmer and more and more breathless with each second that passed by. 

“They used to make those substances, long ago back when I was with HYDRA. I didn’t expect to find those here. They were used to… to try and see if they could get super soldiers to procreate naturally.” Bucky explained and waited for your reaction. 

“Sex pollen. Correct?” 

He nodded, “Yes.” 

You were a little shaken, but relieved knowing that at least it wasn’t poison and you wouldn’t be dying a painful death. “That’s… I mean, it could have been poison.” You didn’t know how to react after you pieced it all together. “How long before it wears off?” 

“Twenty-four hours unless...” 

“Unless what?” 

“Unless you fuck it out of your system well enough.”

That had you surprised. “Oh. Well that’s just great, isn’t it? Fucking perfect. I’m screwed.” 

Bucky tried his hardest to refrain himself from leaning in and biting that sassy mouth of yours, shoving his tongue past your lips to shut you up, to hear you moan and gasp and cry out his name as he takes you however he wants to… 

“We.” He corrected you. “It’ll get worse every hour.” He replied. 

You sighed and moved away from him, unzipping your combat suit partly and removing the jacket because you couldn’t handle the heat. Bucky cursed as you stripped into just a tank top and tight pants, right in front of him. He felt his cock get harder. 

“Can you not?” He sounded pissed off again; frustrated. “This is all your doing. The least you can do is make this a little bit easier for both of us.” 

His words made you turn around and glare at him. “How is this my doing? I didn’t even know what was in that lab.” 

He stepped forward, instinctively. The sight of your exposed neck and your soft skin was making him think of unspeakable things that he wanted to do to you. As he advanced, you tried not to look down at his cock, straining against his zipper. Your heart raced as you took in the size of his bulge. Enhanced super soldier indeed. 

“Had you not been a spoiled brat who can’t take a joke, you wouldn’t have tried to shoot at me nor would you have shot those flasks!” He argued, feeling more and more warm as he got closer to you. 

You took a step forward as well, fueled by annoyance, lust and anger. “Who was it who provoked me into doing that because they couldn’t keep their fucking mouth shut, huh? That’s right, your annoying ass!” 

Bucky pushed you against the side of the Jet without a second thought. He grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head with his hand while pressing his body into you, his metal arm circling around your waist and pressing you further into him. 

He hadn’t thought this through. He hadn’t thought about how your warm breath would feel against his skin, or how warm your body would be under his touch. You felt feverish, having him this close. His tall, large frame and his tight grip made your whimper under him. Your body reacted to him naturally. 

All you felt was warm, his body heat, his scent. The feeling of his cold leather jacket against your flushed skin. You wanted him. Or rather, your body did. 

“Don’t you provoke me now, you fucking whiny brat.” He whispered, menacingly into your ear. 

You tried to ignore the shivers his voice sent down your entire body. But he saw it. And you could feel his erection press against your crotch. Just to mess with him, you discreetly moved your hips against his, making him hiss loudly. 

“What are you gonna do about it, dipshit?” You sassed, knowing that given his intensified senses he must be feeling much worse than you. 

He groaned as you kept grinding against him, your pulsating core rubbing against the bulge in his pants. And that only made it worse for both of you. 

“Fuck…” Bucky swore, before quickly pulling away from you, but not releasing you yet. “You’re such a bitch.” His body was screaming for you, each nerve ending of his was on fire. A fire only you could douse. 

You were just the same, on the edge and wanting to reach out for him; knowing he would satiate your hunger better than anyone could. Your body was throbbing as you stared into his eyes, your gaze lowering down to his dog tags. How you wanted those dangling right above your face… 

You heard someone clear their throat. It wasn’t Bucky. 

“Something you two need to tell me? Or is this just your new way of trying to kill each other?” A deep voice asked from behind Bucky. 

“Sam! Are you okay?” You escaped Bucky’s grip and rushed to Sam. 

He seemed alright to you. He nodded. “Yeah, we just need to get home. I need to notify the team and see what we should do next. What was in those labs?” 

You glared at Bucky. His smug face alone was pissing you off, but God right now you wanted to ride that man until the sun came tomorrow morning. 

“Just a bunch of useless experiments. Nothing major.” He glared at you as he said the last bit to Sam. 

The ride back home was one of the most painful, annoying and frustrating situations you had ever undergone. Each time you felt like someone was watching you, you’d turn your head to the side and find Bucky staring; and his stares would make your body tremble in need. 

Meanwhile he was having a hard time too, in more ways than one. He could feel his blood rush south even at the brief sound of your voice whenever you sighed in annoyance or talked to Sam. Luckily the latter could not pick up on the thick, sexual tension. 

Once at the compound, you each hurried to your own rooms and that’s where you stayed until the evening. Sam found it weird that you both skipped dinner but he didn’t need another headache today so he went to bed, telling himself that he’d deal with you two tomorrow morning. 

Bucky was a mess. Even after an hour under the cold shower his body was still calling out for you. He tried taking care of his business on his own, but that wasn’t working. He was still so hard it was painful. Nothing could make this better, nothing could soothe the pain - nothing but you. He needed you so badly it was driving him insane, like he was an animal in heat being asked to suppress his feral desires towards his mate. Being away from you was painful. He couldn’t help but hate you for no reason at all usually, but he’d do what it takes to be inside you and make you scream his name right now. 

You were equally as troubled at the super soldier. You tried taking a warm bath and tried to think of other things you could focus on, but nothing worked. Your toys didn’t seem appealing tonight, you needed him, all of him. You shivered at the thought of his taut, virile body under yours, or above. His masculine scent, the sound of his moans, would he bite?… fuck. You could feel your arousal leak out of you every now and then, it was insane how aroused you were. You couldn’t look at him for long without getting unnecessarily annoyed, but you would do anything just to have him rearrange your guts right now. 

What made it worse was that neither of you could stand each other at all. Enemies, you called yourselves. But right now you couldn’t help but crave each other in the most salacious way possible. 

Fuck this. You couldn’t take this anymore. You decided to swallow your pride and make your way to his room and ask him if you two could come to an agreement on how to fight this thing because it would be impossible to go another twenty hours feeling like this. You were burning from the inside. This was unbearable. 

Just as you opened your bedroom door, you were slightly surprised to find Bucky standing right outside your door. His metal hand up midair, as though he was to knock on your door and you happened to open the door just in time. You almost drooled at the sight of him; sweatpants and a tight, white t-shirt. You swallowed and cleared your throat. 

“Hey.” You greeted him, not knowing how to deal with this situation. You felt so drawn to him in that moment, so damn restless and needy that it was hard to breathe right while looking at him. 

“I was, uh, about to knock…” He didn’t know how he got here, he didn’t remember. Maybe it was the chemicals messing with his brain and turning him into a hungry beast. He didn’t care that he was knocking on your door in the middle of the night, he wanted you. He was craving you and that’s all he knew. Also the oversized t-shirt, the only you were wearing at the time, was not helping at all. 

“Yeah, um…” you rambled then stopped talking the moment you found him staring into your eyes with a wild look in his eyes. 

That was it. 

You grabbed him by the waistband of his sweats and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind him. Before Bucky could process anything, you had him pushed against your closed door and your mouth was on his, kissing him hungrily. Your hands slowly slipped under his tight t-shirt and you lazily trailed your hands up and down his toned abs. 

His hands gripped your hips on either side as he kissed you back with just as much ardor as you did. His body ignited the moment he felt your lips and hands on him, yet the heat was weirdly satisfying; it stimulated him but calmed him down at the same time. It felt perfect. This was just what he needed, you. 

Your movements were rapid and passionate, fiery. Hands roaming each other's body, touching and feeling and exploring; making each other moan like you were both touch-starved. 

You let out a soft moan when you felt his tongue slip past your lips, stroking the top of your mouth while his metal hand slipped under your shirt. Your body was tingling wherever he touched you. His touch made you feel way better than you had felt in the past few hours and you were grateful. Your moans sent his mind straight to the gutter and he couldn’t wait to be inside you. 

“I need you…” you whispered against his lips as you pulled away to catch your breath. “I need you to fuck me… right here, right now.” Your demands made him smirk as he looked down at you with lust in his eyes. 

“Oh?” he managed to still find the energy to be an ass to you. “Why don’t you go on and beg for it, then?” 

You scoffed, leaning in to lick his lips while you hand dipped into his pants. You grabbed his erected cock and gave it a little, gentle squeeze. He moaned like he hadn’t been touched in forever. Like he was desperate for one thing and one thing only; you. You whispered, “You need me too, Bucky. I’m not gonna beg you, I’m doing you a favor here.” You slid your closed fist up and down his length and made him moan some more before you let go and watched him groan and clench his jaw in annoyance. 

He looked down at you, panting in need just as you were. His hand slid into your hair and he gripped it, tugging on it just enough to make you gasp in pleasure and pain. “Still a fucking brat with that annoying attitude I see?” He leaned in to bite your exposed neck, making your cry out in pain before he licked the spot, soothing it. “Don’t worry doll, I’ll fuck all that attitude out of you.” 

He let go of your hair but tightened his grip around your waist as he placed his mouth back on yours. Kissing you like there’s no tomorrow; biting your lip and bruising your already swollen mouth. He was wild, and you needed it and more. 

He pushed you down on your bed, and stood back to watch you for a moment. How did he never realize that you were so naturally beautiful? He looked down at you like a predator looking at his meal; fiercely, ready to ruin you and make you scream and beg and satiate his hunger. As well as yours. 

“Well, if you’re done staring…” you knelt on your bed and reached out for him, grabbing him by the neck and pulling him closer. “I want you in me. Now.” Your demanding tone riled him up. 

Bucky grabbed you by the hair and tilted your head back again. “If you wanna get fucked, you’re gonna ask nicely. Understood?” 

You glared at him, shooting death glares right at him while your hand palmed him through his sweatpants. “I fucking hate you.” You spat at him, whimpering as he pushed you back down on the bed, quickly climbing on top of you this time. 

“I hate you too.” He knelt on your bed, straddling your waist as he tore your oversized shirt in half and off your body, throwing the pieces of fabric somewhere on your bedroom floor. You laid beneath him in just your underwear and he growled. 

“That was my favorite shirt, you fucking idiot.” You whispered, breathless, shivers dancing down your spine as he traced your mouth with his two fingers, slipping them past your lips once, then twice then trailing his now wet fingers down your neck, till your belly button. 

“You think I care?” he leaned down and took one of your breasts into his mouth, kneading the other with his metal hand. The contrast of his warm mouth around one and his cold hand around the other was driving you crazy. He bit, and tugged and licked; making your back arch off the bed as you purred in pleasure. 

Your hips moved on their own, grinding against his erection again to try and alleviate the pain. You were desperate. Bucky pinched and rolled one of your nipples while he lightly grazed the other with his teeth, and you let out a loud moan. 

“Please… please, I need you. Please…” You muttered under your breath, knowing he could hear you. Bucky smirked as he pulled away from your chest, ignoring the way his cock throbbed. “What’s so fucking funny?” You grabbed him by the throat, pulling his face closer to yours. 

His metal arm reached down in between your legs and he ripped your underwear off. The fabric hurt just a little when it tore against your skin. “Just that it's the first time I heard you asking for something so politely. It’s not so hard after all, is it?” 

Now he was pissing you off. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and flipped the two of you around. You got on top of him and straddled his waist, trapping him under you like he had you before. You had better control like this. 

You grabbed him by the jaw and leaned in to kiss his lips, fiercely. “Stop fucking playing, Barnes.” You whispered against his lips, grinding against his hard cock again. He closed his eyes and hissed in pleasure as you kissed down to his neck, nibbling on his skin along his throat. 

He moaned, hands gripping your hips and guiding you as you rubbed your bare core against his clothed erection. “No? I thought brats liked games?” He mumbled. 

You pulled away from his neck and looked down at his smug face. “You are so fucking annoying.” You reached down in between your bodies and lowered his sweatpants all the way down until he kicked them off. You grabbed his cock and stroked him gently, agonizingly slow. He moaned shamelessly, and eventually caught on that you were just teasing him even more. 

“Don’t tease me…” he sounded just as breathless as you were. 

“Why? Not so fond of games anymore?” you sassed, rubbing your throbbing core against his thigh while you stroked him so gently that he felt like he was losing his mind. 

He growled as he grabbed you by the waist and flipped the two of you around, him being on top again. “Enough,” he growled in your ear, “Spread those legs for me.” He ordered, settling in between them as you spread your legs to accommodate him. He grabbed your thighs and parted your legs even more as he aligned the tip of his cock to your opening. “Now stay still, don’t move.” 

You braced yourself for him, but nothing could have prepared you for that. His length stretched you open until he was seated deep inside you, filling you up entirely to a point where you couldn’t even think of anything else other than him being balls deep inside you. 

You moaned as he removed himself entirely and pushed himself back into you, and watched in awe how you struggled to adjust to his size. He lowered his face again, and leaned into your ear, “Fuck….” you heard him moan; panting and swearing under his breath as he rocked into you. 

You were a moaning mess under him in no time. He kissed your open mouth while he rammed into you over and over again, making your eyes tear up. The burning need subsided a little bit as his cock brushed against all the right spots inside you. “Buck… faster, please,” You whimpered. 

He chuckled into your ear, “Needy little brat…” he mumbled as he sped up into you, making you lose your ability to focus on anything else other than him and his body. He pulled away from your face to look down at you, his metal hand coming up to wrap itself around your throat. “This is what you wanted since we left that lab, huh? For me to fuck your greedy little cunt? Hmm?” He taunted as he stretched you out completely. You lifted your legs up and wrapped them around his waist; allowing him to thrust deeper into you. 

You felt tears escaping your eyes as he pulled you closer and pressed his forehead to yours fucking deeper into you. He was relentless; each moan which left your lips only encouraged him to get more and more rough. 

You felt a pressure form in between your hips, your body begging for release. “Bucky… please.” You moaned, begging. For something, anything. You’d take anything at this point. But right when your walls started clenching around him and when you were just about to come undone; he pulled out. 

“Please what?” He surprised himself with how he was able to tease you in this situation when all he wanted was to make both of you cum over and over again. 

“I need to cum, Bucky please,” you cried, with tears in your eyes. 

Bucky leaned in to kiss your swollen lips, not minding the tears. “Do you deserve it?” He asked, and you nodded immediately, your body shaking with how bad you needed to cum. “Oh you do, do you?” 

You nodded again. “Please…please...” 

“Well since you asked nicely…” Bucky flipped you onto your stomach and pulled you onto your knees by your hips and pushed himself inside you again. You felt his muscular body press against the curve of your ass as he filled you up again. 

He rocked into you from behind. His hand found its way to your front and he pressed the palm against your lower abdomen. He liked how he could feel himself deep inside you with each thrust. And he liked how that drove you insane, he could by the way your walls gripped his cock. 

“Feel that, little brat? That’s all you’re good for… to take my cock like a good little slut.” He whispered. 

You groaned at the sound of his raspy voice, his words making you milk him even harder. “You wish, you dipshit.” You moaned as he sped up when you least expected it. You whimpered, and he chuckled now that he had you at his mercy. 

His hand travelled all the way to your throat and he choked you gently as he bent down to whisper in your ear, “I can assure you that no one is ever gonna fuck you this good,” he boasted as he very gently squeezed the side of your throat. But hard enough to make you lose your mind.

You could only moan and whimper in response while he kept pounding into you incessantly. “Fuck… please....” you cried. 

You felt the pressure in between your hips grow until you couldn’t hold back anymore. You felt him quicken his pace as he chased his own orgasm. “Cum for me. Now.” 

You didn’t have to be told twice. You came undone, hard and fast; moaning his name as you did. Bucky came right after you. 

You collapsed onto your bed, sprawled unevenly and not even caring. Your eyes were shut in fatigue, your heart racing and you could feel Bucky’s body heat right next to you. He was catching his breath too, mumbling something under his breath which you couldn’t catch. 

For the first time in hours, you felt at ease. Your body wasn’t yearning anymore, but the hunger was still there. So when Bucky got up to leave, you grabbed him by the hand and pulled him back into bed with you. 

He smirked as he fell helplessly onto your bed again, right next to you. “You want more, you greedy little brat?” 

You punched his arm before getting up and getting on top of him again, sliding your body down his cock. He hissed as you did. 

“Just another round.” You whispered, loving the sight of him under you. His tan skin against your white sheets, him moaning as you slowly lifted up and sank back down on his cock. Oh fuck… 

You placed your hands on his muscular chest to hold yourself up as you sped up, riding him like you’ve been dreaming of this whole time. His hands gripped your hips, guiding you up and down his cock until you both found a pleasurable pace. 

You weren’t going to last too long, but you just needed to have him buried deep inside you again. His thick, girthy cock stretched you open as you took him as best you could, moaning and whimpering desperately as he groaned and gasped under you. 

Your walls gripping him and milking him like they had earlier, not even a few minutes ago. You felt the pressure forming nicely in between your hips again. You let out a loud moan as you felt his cock reach places it hadn’t before, turning you into a mess. 

His grip on your hips tightened as he brought you down on his cock with force each time and thrusting upwards to fuck you deeper. “Cum for me.” He threw his head back, growling. “Cum for me again…” 

Your hand grabbed him by the jaw and you leaned in to press your lips against his, claiming his open mouth and muffling his animalistic growls as you came undone around him again. Your orgasm then triggered his. 

You fell limp on top of him right after and he instinctively cradled your head. “You okay?” 

You nodded, your sweaty bodies pressed against each other but neither of you minding it. “Yeah.” 

Bucky gently rolled to his side, letting you down on your side of the bed. You tried your best to calm your racing heart. Not to mention you felt much, much better than earlier. 

Bucky got up to leave again, and you grabbed his hand before he got completely out of your bed. He turned to face you with a smirk then groaned dramatically, “Woman please, I’m not a machine. The pain will subside now, I believe we’ve done pretty good at fucking it out of our systems. I can’t go all night, seriously.” 

You were in a haze so his words made you giggle. “You’re really leaving?” 

He looked down at you, sprawled on your bed. Your face was glowing, you looked ethereal. “You want me to stay?” He asked, wondering where the sassy brat in you went. 

You nodded. 

He smirked, getting back into bed next to you, “What, now you're obsessed with me?”

You rolled your eyes at him. “Shut up. I’m just saying since I might need you again in the morning, you might as well just sleep here.”  

He pretended to be hurt. “Wow.” He didn’t mind that at all. He got under the covers with you, “So… is it just the chemicals or are we…?” 

You snuggled closer to his side, he wrapped his arm around you, tucking your head under his chin. “Shh, I still hate you.” Your tired, soft voice reminded him of a sleepy kitten. 

He held you closer. “Of course.” He looked down at you and saw that you had already fallen asleep on his chest. He cracked a soft smile, whispering under his breath, “Brat.” 

[redroomwidows]

Anger & Excitement

WARNINGS: Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings spoilers! Specifically the first post-credit scene. Swearing.

SUMMARY: Y/n didn’t get to meet any avengers

WORD COUNT: 635 (This is long for me lol,)

I love Shang-Chi so much omg. This popped into my head this morning, and I got so giddy writing it. 

Send in a Shang-Chi request

Shang-Chi x fem! reader

“You met who?”

“Captain Marvel…” 

“Oh my god!” 

It was meant to be a quiet night in for Shang-Chi and his girlfriend, they had ordered pizza and a weird rom-com based off the avengers was playing on in the background. After the week Shang-Chi had had, he just wanted to sit and cuddle his girlfriend. But now…

“Why didn’t you tell me?! I love her!” Now, Y/n had pulled away from his embrace, and was on the other end of the sofa, giving Shang-Chi an indignant look. 

“I am telling you!” Shang-Chi responds with the same volume, he knew Y/n wasn’t really angry, she just loved to be dramatic “It only happened yesterday,” he grins as he watches Y/n’s eyes widen 

“Yesterday?! When I said no to going out with you and Katy?”

“Yep,” His grin gets wider when Y/n grabs a cushion and screams into it “You said Grey’s Anatomy was on” 

“I could’ve met Captain Marvel!” she bangs her head against the cushion 

“You didn’t even know who she was until Thanos’ second attack,”

“Yeah,” Y/n whines “But she’s so cool. Listen,” she puts up her pointer finger, and she looks at Shang-Chi seriously, although a smile is threatening to break out as she looks at him (look he was cute when he was being annoying, with that stupid grin on his face) “If I’m ever in immediate danger and she’s around, don’t bother saving me,” 

“You’re saying you’d risk death to meet her?”

“Hm…maybe not,” Y/n thinks “Okay do save me. What I’d give to be wrapped up in either of your arms” Shang-Chi snorts and Y/n glares at him 

“Sorry,” he turns away and covers his mouth to laugh and Y/n grins before moving so she can wrap her arms around Shang-Chi’s stomach again. As she does, resting her head on his chest, he leans down, still laughing, to press a kiss to her head, even if he did mainly get hair.

“I love you,” he grins

“I love you too,” she looks up to kiss him on the lips “Don’t worry, you’re still my favourite hero Bus-Boy”

Shang-Chi’s face sobers up along with his voice “I hate you” 

Y/n laughs “I’m joking - I’m joking” she keeps laughing though and although annoyed, Shang-Chi still smiles. 

When she’s calmed down, Y/n starts speaking again “What did Captain Marvel even say?” 

“Nothing much, she just said she didn’t know where the rings were calling to, and that Bruce had her number,”

“Bruce?” Y/n questions “Like Bruce Banner”

“Yeah…”

“What the fuck?! You met Banner as well?!”

“Yeah! It was so cool!”

“I know it’s cool!” Y/n whines “The dude brought half the population back with a snap of his fingers!”

“I mean, he did that as the hulk,”

“Are you saying the hulk’s not cool,”

“No! The hulk is definitely cool!”

“God, you met two avengers,” Y/n stares up at him “How are you not excited?!”

“I am,” Shang-Chi has a grin like a little kid “I just didn’t want you to be upset,” Y/n turns her whole body around she her body is facing her boyfriend, not the TV, he groans as she jabs him with her elbow. 

“Ow,”

“Sorry,” she reaches up to hold his cheek with her right hand, holding herself up on the sofa with her left “I can be angry and upset, while also being happy and excited for you,” Y/n assures 

“It was so cool,” Shang-Chi whispers and his girlfriend grins 

“God, I bet,” 

“Do you want to hear the whole story?” Y/n can see the excited glint in his eye and she gives him a soft smile

“Definitely,” 

 A few minutes later, Shang-Chi has finished and Y/n is once again on the other end of the sofa “You sang Hotel California with Wong?!”.

I’m not tagging anyone since this has spoilers! However, I will tag people who reblogged a post I made about wanting to be tagged in Shang-Chi fics lol. 

@cutierocker202 @badass-dora-milaje​ @lovelybarnes​ @stydiapercebeth12​ @janetsnakehole02 (can’t tag you, but I saw your tags and you were keen lol).

Also @florenceyelena because I love you Lish.

[lokisprettygirl]

Build me Up, Break me Down (Loki x Female Reader)

Read chapter 6 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 7

Summary : Loki reveals what he knows about Thanos. Your landlord Lindsay have a job for you.

Warning : Physical Assault, Talk of abuse and torture

After you and Loki got captured by The Avengers you were taken back to the Stark's tower that was converted into Avengers tower now. You both were on separate planes as the officers didn't want him to manipulate you any further. You felt scared and stressed out of your mind, you wondered if you'd be thrown into jail. You also wondered if he'd come see you if you do, what were they going to do to him?

"I am Agent Maria Hill, I have a few questions for you and I'd like you to be honest with me or you won't enjoy the repercussions you will have to face" You were in a room that had nothing but a table and chair, you were handcuffed to the table.

"No pressure right?" Why did you open your mouth and utter the worst possible thing you could have? She seemed pretty but also looked like the scariest woman you have ever seen. She got up and slapped you hard, she didn't enjoy the quip it seems. You looked at her shocked, it's not the first time you have been smacked so hard but it does hurt every fucking time 

"I'll be honest and tell you the truth" You mumbled and she sat back down.

"Why did you free Loki from his cell?" You heard her question and it reminded you of what Loki asked you to say. Should you even do what he said? This was your chance to get away from him but did you want to get away from him? 

"Because he mind controlled me" she glared at you as you said that. Then she fired a round of questions

"Was Osaka the first place you both fled to?" 

"Yes"

"What do you know about Tesseract" 

"It's a cube thingy, blue in color, very pretty, we can teleport from one place to another, Loki is obsessed with it" 

She looked at you intensely to find a hint of amusement in your tone but you told her what you knew about Tesseract.

"How did you get these bruises"

You stopped and thought about what Loki told you to say to them.

"He tortured me" her eyes softened as you said that. She pressed a button on the remote thingy she was holding in her hand. You heard the door opening and someone else entered. It was Lindsay, your landlord and the woman you owe your life to. 

........

"Loki brother, stop playing games and tell us the truth, why did you escape?" 

"You're asking a prisoner why he escaped? Oh dear brother, i never considered you a genius but even a fool won't ask such a question" he snickered as he looked around. They had him bound and tied in the middle of a room they used for interrogation.

"Quit playing around alright? Your girlfriend spilled everything" Loki smirked as Tony said that 

"You're a Buffoon Stark. She's not my girlfriend or a friend or anything, let me clarify that. I do not care what happens to her so before you even dare manipulate me with that, think again" 

"Good because she'll never see the light of the day again, she already knows too much" Loki maintained his composure, he didn't want them to know that he was affected by the news in the slightest. Because he wasn't. You're a pawn, nothing else. 

"The mighty Avengers would kill a mere mortal?" He smiled as he questioned and Bruce responded him

"Accidents happens everyday, it's not like anybody would look for her" 

Loki snickered in response, he couldn't help but wonder if you had anyone. What about your parents? Friends? You definitely didn't have a man in your life, you bloomed with every touch of his finger, he knew you had been starved of any form of physical love and affection

"He's wasting our time" Natasha glared at him and Loki finally decided to tell them something valuable

"Tesseract holds immense power, you think you fought my army and won the war. You really think it's over? Did you stop and wonder where my army came from? How did I find them?" 

"The chitauris?" Thor raised his eyebrows, looking perplexed as ever

"You can lock me up like a criminal again here, or take me back to Asgard where the allfather would imprison me for life, what good would that do honestly?" he chuckled "Or you can accept my help, save this planet of yours and stop it from heading towards its eternal doom" everyone looked at him as he said that.

"What are you talking about?" Steve questioned him 

"And why should we trust you?" Tony asked 

"You know why Stark. You went up there, your planet and its people are in imminent danger" 

Loki told them about Thanos and his plan to collect all the infinity stones, he tried to be as vague as possible.

He could see that they were starting to believe him but he also knew that they would keep a close eye on him so he wouldn't betray them again. But then that's exactly what he wanted. They came back to him after an hour, the news about a mad Titan wanting to invade earth wasn't something they could have taken lightly. Loki also convinced them that he was tortured and mind controlled by Thanos to attack on New york which wasn't exactly a lie. 

"Your girlfriend said you abused her, why?" He smiled as he heard that, maybe he could trust you after all. 

"She tried to run away, I merely stopped her from running, mortals are so fragile" 

"She said you tortured her" Natasha asked him 

"If I would have tortured her Miss Romanoff, she wouldn't be alive" 

After a few more questioning they finally unchained him. Thor believed in his brother and he also felt awful about the torture he suffered by the hands of Thanos. They all decided that he still can't be trusted, and Thor was adamant on having his brother free from the chains, the youngest prince of Asgard wouldn't be kept like a prisoner if he was a victim. He was provided a room in the tower and prohibited from leaving, he wasn't allowed to go anywhere or use his magic.

"Where's the mortal?" He asked Thor as Thor walked him to his assigned chamber

"I thought you did not care of the mortal" 

"Who said I care?" Loki huffed and rolled his eyes. He could lie to everyone, even himself but a part of him missed your silly presence around him. In last few days he has gotten used to fucking your brains out at every chance he got and you took him so well, you never denied him. He missed your body, that's all it was probably. 

..........

"You understand everything right? You always asked how would you ever repay for what I have done for you, this is your chance, don't disappoint me" Lindsay told you and you nodded your head as you wiped your tears. Maria uncuffed your hands and then she took you to the other floor. You were told that they were not putting you in jail, and you'd live in the tower. Your job as Lindsay instructed you was to keep an eye on Loki and report anything suspicious. You owed Lindsay your life but would you be able to betray Loki ?

She opened one of the rooms and shoved you inside. As soon as you entered you saw Loki. He looked at you and stood up from the bed then he walked over to you, your eyes teared up as you looked at him. He was still in his Asgardian attire looking sexy as fuck. He continued to walk towards you until you were trapped between him and the door.

"Hello little one, wasn't expecting to see you again" you looked at him as he grabbed your chin and your eyes were teary. 

"So quiet hmm? What did they do to you?" He ran his fingers over the bruises he gave you and made them disappear. But the one bruise stuck, there was a burning red mark on your cheek. His jaw clenched as he realized they must have harmed you. Why did he feel so protective of you suddenly ? 

"They hit you?" You nodded as your eyes filled with tears again. He rubbed his fingers over the mark and you felt a cooling sensation 

"That feels good" your lips trembled and your voice quivered as you spoke 

"Why did they send you here, my pet?" He asked you as he picked you up and wrapped your legs around him, he pulled you closer to him, your arms wrapped around his neck as you felt the proximity. He pressed kisses on your neck, making you hum in response. You felt so weak, so weak for him.

"Lokiii" 

"Answer my question or I'll punish you, you don't want to get punished now do you? You have had a rough day, let me take good care of you, you want that right?" He whispered in your ear, his hips bucked into your core. Whatever thoughts you had were gone now. How could you still feel his bulge between all the layers of his leather armor 

"Mmm yess please..they want me to spy on you" he looked at you, his fingers gripped your hair and he pulled your head back, your felt the familiar stinging in your scalp and it hurt so good 

"Spy on me hmm? Did you tell them what I did with you?" He asked you and you nodded. His heart clenched as he realised that they sent a fragile little mortal like you to live with him, knowing very well that he might be harming you physically, they must have seen the bruises he put on you but they still imposed your life in danger just so they could have more information about him. They weren't any better than him. They were using you too. 

He wiped your tears and pulled you in for a kiss, the kiss was gentle, he hated how he was feeling in the moment. He hated the fact that he was feeling at all. 

"Did you agree to their condition?" He whispered between the kiss 

"Yess I had to" 

"Why?" 

"Because of Lindsay, she..she works for Stark's Security team. She's my landlord, I owe her my life" 

He looked at you intently as you said that

"She saved my life once and I just.. I guess that's how she wants me to repay" 

You told him the truth well at least half of it. She did get you out of the worst situation you got yourself in last year. 

"You wouldn't be telling me all this if you intended to betray me hmm" 

You didn't want to betray him, you couldn't, not when he touched you like that and kissed you like that. 

"I don't want to betray you" you whispered and he kissed you again. 

"Good girl, you'll do what I say alright?" 

"Mmm okay, please don't hurt me" your eyes teared up again, your voice gave him the same feeling again that he hated so much. He wondered if you have been hurt before, prior to this day. He wondered what kind of life you must have lived before. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know more about you or not.

"I won't, just be good for me and I would never hurt you, you want to bathe with me darling?" He asked you softly and you nodded. 

He took you to the bathroom, his mind kept warning him to get himself out of this situation but you looked at him with such adoration in your eyes, so pathetically that he felt sorry for you. 

He was starting to warm up to you and the feeling scared him. He was terrified.

❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚❤️💚

Taglist @michelleleewisee  @el-zef  @mcufan72  @xorpsbane  @christineblood  @asgardianprincess1050  @123forgottherest  @ladymischief11  @elenaysusneuras  @daddylokisqueen  @xpixiedevilx  @dopeqff  @lokischambermaid  @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men  @evansabove1981 @lokisgoddessofwar @disneyismyworldforever @multifandom-world8 @snigdha-14

[missvelvetsstuff]

The Situation Room

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: After a mission almost gone wrong, Tony brings back Bucky's former assistant, who is also Bucky's ex. Can they work together without hurting each other? Will the whole truth about their break up finally come out?

Avengers AU where Thanos never happened.

Chapter 1

Warnings: swearing, angst

After a rough nites sleep, Y/N woke at 6am and took a shower before heading to the kitchen for coffee and breakfast. There was a team meeting at 8am and she knew she needed caffeine to get through it.

She was sitting at the table with her coffee and a bagel when Steve and Sam came in followed by Bucky. She greeted them with a quiet good morning which had Sam pulling her out of her seat for a hug, winking at Bucky who rolled his eyes. Sam's friendship with Y/N had always irritated him and he just knew Sam was going to do everything he could to exacerbate the tension.

"Radar! How you been, baby girl? I'm surprised to see you back here, tired of Madripoor?" Sam laughed as he squeezed her.

Y/N shrugged "Are we really sticking with this Radar thing? I mean I love MASH but just because you're so predictable, Sammy, doesn't mean I'm psychic." She teased "There's too much going in Madripoor to get bored, I'm just doing an old friend a favor but don't plan to be here too long."

"Thank God for small favors." Bucky spat

She felt her stomach drop at his tone but just smirked at Bucky "Just keep your shit together so I can train you a new assistant and get the fuck outta here."

Sam laughed "I have missed you!"

Steve was more reserved, worried about how Bucky was going to deal with this new dynamic "Nice to see you again, Y/N" he gave her a small smile and nod.

Radar grinned "Same to you, Rogers."

Wanda and Nat wandered in chatting with Bruce trailing behind them. Nat stopped dead and put her arm out to stop Wanda "Is that who I think it is? Y/N? You're back?" She tried to temper the excitement over seeing her friend here in the compound after 2 years while picking up on the anger radiating from Bucky. She went to hug her friend "I didn't think I'd ever see you here again. Not that I minded our girl time in Madripoor."

Radar smiled, hugging her and Wanda at the same time "It's good to see you ladies. It's been 6 months since our last get together we'll have to tear up Manhattan when we can schedule it."

She smiled at Bruce and he hugged her "Glad you're back Radar, we've missed you."

A voice came from the hall "I hope you aren't planning a girls nite without me. I missed the last trip." Maria Hill walked into the kitchen and went to give Radar a hug.

Steve and Bucky were staring at the women, slack jawed until Steve spoke up "So you girls have been getting together regularly? How is this the first I'm hearing of this?"

Radar chuckled "Well geez Cap, it's girl time and you aren't invited so why would anyone tell you? Besides there's all kinds of drinking and swearing and general mischief making. Really not your type of party."

Bucky scoffed, glaring at Radar "So Nat, you and Wanda have been getting together with her, even after she- after what she did?" he shook his head "some friends you are." and stomped down the hall.

Radar shook her head and whispered under her breath "Yeah, what I did to him. Pffft."

Nat rubbed her back "You going to be ok working with him again?"

Radar smiled sadly "Yeah, as soon as I get his shit in order, I'll work to find and train my replacement. Then it's back to exciting Madripoor and the Power Brokers trail."

Nat hummed as she considered whether she should say what she was thinking and decided to push ahead "You could try to talk to him, tell him the truth about what happened."

Radar chuckled humorlessly "Right, he's obviously totally open to talking to me, thats why he says something nasty every time we're in the same room. He's no more interested in my side of the story than he was the day it happened. Sorry, Nat, sometimes you can't go home."

Steve poured himself a cup of coffee, wondering what they were talking about before switching to captain mode. "Meeting starts in 30, make sure you're all there on time."

Radar smiled "Don't worry Cap, we're on our way."

The ladies chatted for a few more minutes before heading to the conference room. They all sat together with Radar between Nat and Wanda while Bruce sat next to Nat and Vision walked in with Tony then sat next to Wanda.

Clint was behind them and smiled when he saw her "Radar! Welcome home." He patted her on the shoulder.

Radar looked at her friends on either side of her and smiled sadly at their happiness. She was thrilled they both found good partners but seeing them like that made her so lonely. She'd had no romantic interest since she left the compound. It felt like that part of her heart was broken beyond repair. There had been a couple of flings, a girl has needs, but nothing more than one night.

She had truly believed that Bucky was it and after everything still loved him, even if they couldn't be together.

Sam, Wanda and Nat had kept her up on the team gossip and while learning of Bucky's many women felt like a shot to the chest, she knew that was him acting out and would still do whatever she could to help him. He had worked so hard to make up for what Hydra made him do and his reputation had been trending upward but this last mission and the incident with the photographer made the public and the team's benefactors question him being there.

Radar took a deep breath to calm her mind, reminding herself that she would get him back on the right track, then go back to the wilds of Madripoor and probably never see him again. The thought of that hurt but she shook it off, that's how it had to be.

She jumped when she heard her name.

"Radar! I can't believe it's really you, never thought you'd come back." Nick Fury shouted with a grin on his face.

She smiled "Good to see you too, Nick. Enjoy me while you can because I'm just here to clean up a mess and train the next guy."

Nick chuckled "We'll just have to see if we can find a way to make you move back home permanently."

Radar smile at him sadly, why did everyone but him have to bring up keeping her here. "I don't think that's a good idea but I'm flattered you want me around."

Bucky and Steve walked into the room and Bucky scoffed "If she stays I'm fucking leaving. I'd rather give up my pardon and live the rest of my life on the Raft than anywhere near her."

Radar sighed "Yes Barnes, we get it. You hate me and wish I were dead. If you insist on reminding me every time we're in the same room together, I'll be convinced that you're still obsessed with me." she winked at him.

Bucky was sure steam must be coming out of his ears, she had a lot of nerve fucking with him like that "If you-"

Fury interrupted "Flirt on your own time, Barnes. This isn't speed dating, we have business to take care of."

Bucky sputtered and went to say something but Tony spoke up and interrupted him, not that he had any coherent thoughts to voice so he sat back, glaring at Y/N.

"Now that we're all here. The first order of business is notifying all of you that Radar has returned to help Barnes get organized and train her replacement. Once that's done, we need some excuse to convince her to stay."

Bucky groaned "please, god, no."

Radar shook her head "Don't get yourself in a tizzy Barnes. I told you, that's not happening." She looked at Tony "I told you that I'm leaving once I've trained a competent replacement. I can't stay here permanently and you know that. You all need to let that go cuz it's not happening."

Bucky sighed, relieved that she wasn't planning to stay. He didn't know if he could deal with seeing her all the time so he promised himself he would do everything in his power to speed things along. But somewhere, deep in his subconscious he dreaded the thought of her leaving again. And maybe never seeing her again. He still loved her desperately, the countless women he had gone through in the last 2 years gave him no peace, none of them felt or smelled or sounded like her and he was terrified that he would give in and beg her to take him back if she stayed too long. He was also terrified that he wouldn't and she would get away from him, again.

Bucky badly wanted to touch her, kiss and hold her, make love to her for hours like he used to. He could smell her vanilla body spray, the citrus shampoo & conditioner and the musk that was distinctly her. He could feel his body responding to being in close quarters with her again and was grateful for the table to hide his, ahem reactions.

Thankfully, Nick Fury spoke up "On to business. There's a facility in Belarus that was believed to be abandoned but is showing signs of activity. I need 2 people for recon. Any volunteers?"

Bucky raised his hand "I'm in if I can get out of here while....." he trailed off.

Radar kept her face emotionless. She was starting to think this was a mistake. As if the glares and cold demeanor weren't enough he had to make a crack every chance he had.

Just being near him was torture. She felt an empty ache in her chest and her eyes filled with tears but she refused to let them fall. She swallowed a sob down and whispered in a sing song voice "Obseeesed"

Bucky growled and she felt her panties dampen. His nostrils flared and he sat back in his seat, a death grip on the arms, before he took her on the conference table in front of the whole team.

Sam volunteered to go with him and Bucky groaned, he was almost as difficult to be around as Y/N.

Fury nodded and handed packets to both men "There we go, that wasn't so difficult. Since Sam's assistant isn't here, Radar will prep everything you need and be in the quinjet and in your ears when you go in. I suggest the three of you get some sleep, wheels up at 9 tonight"

Bucky shook his head "What do you mean she'll be in the jet? Starks tech is good enough that she can do it from here. Goddammit I want to be wherever she isn't so send someone else."

Fury glared at him "For a man who's over 100 years old you are acting like a fucking child, Barnes. Grow the fuck up and act like the professional you are supposed to be."

Nick's face turned up into a devious grin "You do realize that if you don't go, she doesn't either right? She's your assistant, your angel. If you had hired assistants without prioritizing their fuckability, you wouldn't be here. It's already decided. Go hit your rack while you can."

Sam chuckled as he left the room "You just can't win Terminator. Maybe the universe wants you crazy kids together."

Bucky sighed, no point in complaining any more. A mission with the two people he would least like to be around. Hopefully the intel was right and it would be a quick in and out. He went to his room to stretch out, knowing that sleep was unlikely.

Steve caught up with him in the hall "I'm just giving you some information and what you do with it is up to you." He lowered his voice "I heard Nat trying to convince Y/N to talk to you, she said something about telling you the truth about what happened that day. Maybe you should hear her out, listen to her side."

Bucky shook his head "What side? There's no side that makes what she did ok so there's not much point. I just want to get through this so she goes on her way."

Steve shook his head "Fine punk, it's your life."

Radar went to the armory to put Sam and Bucky's gear and weapons together and loaded up the quinjet before heading to her room for a couple of hours of sleep, if she could manage that much. She prayed to whatever gods were out there that this mission would be easy and fast.

Chapter 2

[1-800-gaygentsofshield]

you + me = ? | n.r.

summary: after the war you and Natasha settle down, deciding to start a family in your cozy little home. The problem is though, how many times can hope be ignited before it fully burns out?

warnings: (trying to get pregnant) reader, canon/sterile Nat, swearing, Nat and you cry, post-endgame, sprinkle of angst with a very fluffy ending

word count: 4,016

im having baby fever rn im so sorry

-flashback, pre-endgame-

"I wanna have a family." Your voice is barely above a whisper as you both look up at the night sky, laying in the garden atop the Avengers compound. "What?" Nat asks softly, breaking out of her trance as she looks at you. You're laying on her chest and her arm is wrapped your back, Nat's other arm folded up behind her head.

"I wanna have a family, with you." You repeat yourself, making eye contact with your girlfriend as her brows furrow. "Y/n.." Nat's voice is hesitant and panic floods your chest, your eyes widening as you move to sit up. "Oh my god I'm so sorry, that was so quick-" You apologize quickly as you avoid Natasha's gaze, the redhead sitting up with you.

You've dated Natasha for two years but everything has been slow, knowing how the assassin will close herself off if you try and move too fast (emotion wise).

"Hey Y/n no." Nat says softly as she looks at your side profile, a soft frown forming on her face as she sees you. "That's not the reason why." She says as she gently turns your head to face her, fingertips delicately grabbing your chin. "I do want to have a family with you, moya lyubov'..it's just that I can't." Nat whispers and you finally lock eyes with her, seeing the pain and sadness on her face. "What do you mean?' You ask carefully and she sighs, waiting a beat before deciding to tell you. "In the Red Room me and all of my other group mates were sterilized..it was like a sick graduation ceremony that prevented us from having a family of our own." She tells you and hurt immediately grips at your heart, seeing Nat avert her gaze for a moment.

"Why?" You question and she purses her lips together, one of your hands rubbing her knee gently. "So we would never have any distraction from our mission..so that our only purpose in life was to kill and be used as a weapon." Disgust drips from Nat's voice at the last part, your soft hands on her wrist bringing her back to reality. "Im so sorry Nat, I shouldn't have anything I didn't know-" You start to apologize again but Nat stops you with a soft shake of her head, a bittersweet smile on her face. "Don't apologize, Y/n. I'm the one who should be sorry for not being able to give you the family that you deserve." She says and now it's your turn to shake your head, grabbing Nat's hands and caressing them gently. "Its alright baby." You smile gently before an idea pops into your head, your eyes lighting up and Nat gives you a look of curiosity.

"Besides.." You start, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "If you really..truly..wanted a family with me, there could still be other options. Like adopting or getting a surrogate..or I could get pregnant instead." You suggest and Natasha's eyes light up like the stars in the night sky, a small laugh escaping your lips as you see the excitement on her face.

"Really?! You'd do that?" She asks and you nod your head, giving your girlfriend a soft kiss before laughing. "Mmhm, but you'd have to put a ring on it first, Miss Romanoff." You giggle and Nat wraps her arms around you again, both of you laying back down on the blanket. "Im planning to, future Mrs.Romanoff."

-present day, post-endgame-

You nervously pace around the bathroom as you wait for the three minutes to be up, Natasha sitting on the edge of the bathtub and observing you walk back and forth. The pregnancy test is laying by the sink and you can’t help but glance at it every few seconds, not having felt this nervous since battling Thanos and his army. You’ve faced gods, powerful Titans, super soldiers, but you’re sure this the most nerve wracking thing you’ve ever had to do. Once the timer on Natasha’s phone goes off, you practically jump towards the sink, Natasha leaning forward a bit more on the bathtub. Picking up the white and pink pregnancy test, you nervously turn it over in your hands, eyes scanning the small window for the results.

Natasha doesn’t even have to ask for the results when she sees your shoulders slump and your face drop, quickly getting up from the bathtub to wrap you up in her arms. Hugging you from behind, she can see the negative test in your hands, gently kissing your cheek when you don’t say anything. “It’s okay baby, we can try again.” She says softly and you shake your head, slowly placing the test down and closing your eyes.

“Nat, what if somethings wrong with me?” You whisper and her arms hug you closer, tears pooling under your eyelids in frustration. “Nothing is wrong with you malysh.” Natasha reassures you and you turn in her arms, releasing a shaky breath as you press your face into her neck. “Three times Nat..three fucking times..” You sigh and she only holds you closer, knowing how much hope the both of you had for this one. “I know, I know.” Nat hums softly as she rocks the two of you back and forth gently, feeling the hope starting to dwindle from you. “What if we just weren’t meant to have a biological children? What if we weren’t meant to have lives after the war?” You question out loud and Natasha pulls back, gently tilting your chin up so you can look her in the eyes. “Hey no, don’t say that. We were meant to have a family Y/n, biological or not.” Nat takes a pause to brush some hair out of your face.

“Let’s try one more time, okay? And if that doesn’t work then we can look into other options.” She continues and you think for a moment, not knowing if you could go through the hope and pain again. “Okay.” You whisper softly and Nat nods her head. “Okay.” She echos you before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead, pulling you back in for a hug.

————

Nat’s leg is bouncing up and down as she watches the timer tick down, only ten more seconds before you can check. This is the last try, all or nothing. You’re too anxious to pace this time, instead opting to sit next to Natasha and leaning into her as you watch her leg bounce. “You know..whatever happens, I love you.” Nat says softly when she sees you blankly stare at her knee, lost in thought about what’s going to happen. “I love you too.” You reply equally as soft as you look up at your wife, grabbing her hand and intertwining them slowly.

Leaning into each other, you both share a soft kiss, love shining through the small interaction. You both only pull away when the timer dings, Natasha rubbing your back as you sigh and get up. It feels like time slows down as you walk towards the sink, heart pounding in your chest as you reach out to grab the test. The bathroom is silent as you pick it up and flip it over, looking at the little window for the results. You’re silent as you look at the results, body frozen in place as you stare at the test. Natasha’s brows furrow and she gets up, sighing as she rubs her temples.

“Baby I’m so sorry-” “It’s positive.” You interrupt Nat midway through her sentence, your voice in disbelief as you see those two pink lines. “What?” Natasha asks, unsure if she heard you right. “It’s positive.” You repeat as you turn to face her, pregnancy test in hand as you smile from ear to ear. “You’re pregnant?” Natasha asks, almost in disbelief as she stares at you. “I’m pregnant.” You nod your head and Natasha immediately sweeps you up in her arms, hugging you right and picking you up from the ground. “Holy shit! We’re gonna have a baby!” Nat laughs as she spins you around, joyful giggles falling from your lips as you cling onto your wife.

“Oh my god we’re gonna have a baby.” Nat breathes out as she comes to a stop, quickly putting you down once the realization hits her brain. “Shit, you’re pregnant we need to be careful.” She says and you only laugh, pulling her down a bit to kiss her. “You don’t need to be that a careful dummy, but yes..I’m pregnant.”

————

“Tony gave us an iron man onesie.” You laugh as you hold up the tiny piece of clothing, Natasha grinning as she watches you. Even though the announcement was made a week ago, the gifts have been steadily pouring in, Tony insisting that he pays for the majority of the things that are needed for the new arrival.

He paid for the crib, the high chair, the car seat, most of the nursery, and all the bottles and toys a newborn could ask for. Pepper had a huge part in it too, having experience since bringing Morgan into the world. “That man is self centered.” Natasha laughs as she walks over to where you’re sitting, her heart full of love as she kneels down next to you.

“Mmhm.” You hum in agreement as you fold the article of clothing away, Natasha handing you the next gift. You’re about sixteen weeks along and you’re already showing, a small baby bump forming from your midsection. You both decided to wait until the second trimester to tell the rest of the team, wanting to enjoy the first few months in peace.

Natasha watches you wordlessly as you open a gift from Steve, a smile tugging on her lips as she sees the captain america pacifier. “I love you so much.” She blurts out randomly and your head turns to face her, a smile on your face as you gently kiss her.

“You’ve gone soft Romanoff.” You tease and she only laughs, gently kissing you again. “I blame you, you’ve made me domestic.” She grins and you roll your eyes, placing the gift to the side.

————

As the pregnancy goes along, you start to notice Natasha’s lack of touch, the redhead only going as far as running her hands through your hair or holding your shoulders. You have no idea what has gotten into her and you're determined to investigate, missing the way Natasha used to spoon and cuddle you all day.

Your questions were finally answered when one day you and Natasha were watching TV in bed, the redhead's arm slung around your shoulder as you lean into her. When the commercial break finally came on, you turned your head to look at your wife, curiosity written all over your face. "Why don't you cuddle me anymore, Nat?" You ask softly and she looks at you with confusion, lowering down the volume on the TV. "What do you mean? I cuddle you all the time baby." She says and you shake your head, reaching up and gently toying with her hair.

"Ever since I've gotten pregnant you've treated me like I could break at any moment, what are you so afraid of?" You question and Natasha sighs, glancing at her lap for a moment before answering. "With these hands I've done some awful things Y/n..things too horrific to say out loud. I feel like if I touch you or the baby I'll just ruin it, or hurt you..like everything else in my life." Nat confesses softly and your heart melts at how scared your wife is, knowing how much she's struggled with her past and with the red in her ledger. "Natasha Romanoff." You whisper, gently grabbing her hands to put them in between the two of you. "You are the kindest," You start, gently kissing her knuckle. "Most caring." another kiss, "Most selfless" another kiss, "Person I've ever met" another kiss. "And I know, with my whole heart and soul, you would never do anything to hurt me or the baby." You look up at her and gently rub your knuckles over the back of her hands. "So please stop acting like you will. These are the hands that I love, the hands that will raise our child, they're strong and secure, so stop thinking otherwise." You finish as you wordlessly move both your hands towards your belly, gently placing Natasha's hands over the bump.

The redhead is stunned as your hands rest over hers, the baby suddenly kicking. A wide smile spreads across your face as you both look down at your belly, the baby never having kicked before. "That was the first time they've ever kicked." You inform Natasha and you could see her still processing that fact. "That's our baby?" She asks softly and you laugh, nodding your head. "Mmhm, that's our baby. They recognized their mama." You say fondly as the baby kicks again, Natasha's heart bursting with warmth as she looks at you.

Slowly, Natasha moves to lay down on the bed, resting her head right beside your bump and holding it gently. "Hi malen'kiy golub'." She whispers softly, your hand coming down to gently play with her hair. You smile as you watch Natasha gently cuddle with your bump, knowing without a doubt that she's going to be a great mother.

-----

Placing the stuffed animals down on the table, you turn to look at Natasha, a giggle coming from your lips as you walk over to her. "What?" Nat grins as she turns to face you, putting the paintbrush down to the side.

"You're a mess." You laugh as you rub some pastel green paint from her cheek, both of you deciding that the nursery would be painted a light grey with a pastel green accent wall. "I'm still hot though." She teases and you only roll your eyes, cupping her face as you gently kiss her.

"Yeah yeah you're always hot." You laugh and Natasha looks around the room, grinning at the stack of Avenger's themed stuffed animals your team gave you. "They're all trying to be known as the cool uncle aren't they?" She asks softly and you nod your head, knowing that whatever Avenger your child takes after will forever have that bragging right.

"Let them have their fun, they're happy for us." You smile and Nat only sighs, shaking her head with a small smile on her face.

-----

You feel like Natasha was more anxious than you when you went into labour, your water breaking in the middle of the night. There wasn't any dramatic screaming or freaking out, you just calmly pushed the sheet back and let out a soft "huh" as you saw the damp bedsheets.

"Oh, okay we're doing this." You say before turning on the light, acting like it was any other day as you gently shake Natasha awake. "Nat, baby wake up." You whisper softly as Natasha stirs, squinting at the light once her eyes opened. "Y/n? What's wrong?" Nat mumbles sleepily as she rubs the sleep from her eyes, seeing you in a sitting up position.

"My water broke." You say and it takes a second for the words to process in Natasha's brain, the redhead suddenly sitting up and fully awake. "What? Okay okay it's happening. It's happening." Nat says as she pushes the sheets off herself, her mind immediately going to all the books she's read over the past nine months. You've already packed your hospital bags a few weeks in advance so you aren't too stressed about it, only needing to change and grab a few extra things. Natasha, on the other hand, is working on full overdrive, pulling on sweatpants and making sure everything is in order.

"Natasha, baby." You say as you gently grab her arm, needing your wife to slow down if you're going to survive the next few days. "You need to calm down my love." You say softly as you hold onto her shoulders, making the redhead look at you and take a few deep breaths. "Okay..okay. I'm sorry. I'm just nervous." Natasha admits and you nod your head, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"It's okay to be nervous Nat, you just need so slow down. We haven't even gotten to the hospital yet." You laugh softly and she nods her head, waiting a few more moments before stepping back slowly. "Okay, let's have a baby."

---

Your head is resting back against Natasha's shoulder as she acts like a backrest to you, allowing you to grip onto her hand when your contractions hit. Nat has been nothing but supportive the entire time, humming reassuring words into your ear as the pain washes over your body.

"Fuck." You whimper once another round of contractions end, Natasha's hand coming up to gently push back the sweaty hairs sticking to your forehead. "You're doing amazing baby, I'm so proud of you." She hums and you sigh, closing your eyes as you feel your wife rub your back. It's quiet as you feel Natasha's hands move down to your bump, rubbing your stomach softly as she sighs.

"Come on malen'kiy golub, your mommies are so excited to meet you." Nat coos and you smile into her neck, warmth flooding your chest as you listen to her. "And I know all of your aunties and uncles are excited to meet you too. We're so excited to hug you, and kiss you, and watch you grow." She hums as she rubs small circles on your belly.

"So please come out before your mommy kills me." Both of you laugh and you snuggle more into Natasha's embrace. "You're going to be an amazing mom." You whisper and Nat grins, looking at you with a quirked eyebrow. "Yeah?" She asks and you nod your head. "Yeah..I couldn't have asked for a more amazing wife, best friend, and now..a mother to our daughter." You hum and Nat blushes, kissing you gently.

----

Your eyebrows furrow as you grip onto Natasha’s hand, pain coursing through your body as you deliver the baby. “You’re doing amazing y/n, almost there.” Nat says as you practically crush her hand, hiding the pain in her face as she watches you. "Congratulations, it's a healthy baby girl." The doctor announces as the baby's cries fill the room, your chest heaving as you lay back. Nat cuts the umbilical cord ("I've seen worst in Budapest") and they place the baby on your chest, draping a blanket over the two of you to keep you warm.

"Hi baby." You coo as you hold your child close to your chest, Natasha standing next to you with unshed tears in her eyes. You look up at her and sniffle (you're crying so hard at this point) as you see the look of awe on her face, smiling as you gently reach out to grab her hand. Softly placing her hand atop of the baby's blanketed back, she slowly moves her thumb, the child's cries quieting at both of her mother's touch. Nat is speechless as she watches the tiny newborn cling onto your chest, loving the warmth radiating off of your body.

"She's a boob man, just like her mama." Nat whispers and you laugh, that being the first thing that comes to her mind. Your child's hand slowly comes up and wraps her fingers around Natasha's thumb, that being the breaking point for the tears as they finally fall down her cheek.

----

"Are you gonna hold her or are you just going to stare at me?" You ask as Natasha watches you and Mila sit on the bed, the two of you now alone with your child. Natasha looks hesitant as she walks over to you, never feeling so nervous as you look up at her.

"You aren't going to break her Nat." You say and Nat's eyebrows furrow, seeing the tiny infant look up at her with Y/c/e. The baby took from both you and Natasha, having scarlet red hair from her and beautiful y/c/e from you. "I just don't know..I mean what if I drop her? What if I do something wrong?" Nat worries her bottom lip between her teeth and you only beckon her to come closer, scooting over so she can sit on the hospital bed.

"You won't Nat, I promise." You reassure her and she slowly sits down on the bed, following your instructions as she places her hands out. Gently transferring the baby into her arms, you smile as Mila looks up at her mama, letting out a soft "gah". "See? She loves you already." You hum as you rub Mila's hair gently, seeing the love on Natasha's face. "Hi Mila." Nat breathes out as you rest your head on her shoulder, watching your wife interact with the baby. The tears return to Natasha's eyes as the newborn looks up at her, her emotions going everywhere as she processes that this is her child, her little bundle of joy that she gets the privilege of sharing with you. "Thank you." Nat whispers out as she looks at you, a smile on her face as she sniffles.

"For what?" You question and she only kisses you softly, smile still on her face as she pulls away. "For giving me another reason to live for." She whispers and her statement covers a wide range, thank you for being her wife, thank you for giving her a chance, thank you for her daughter, thank you for giving her the family she's always wanted, just thank you.

----

Mila's cries ring out through your room and pierce your eardrums, rousing you and Nat from your slumber.

"Mm, I've got it." You sleepily mumble out of instinct as you start to get up, now used to getting woken up in the dead of night.

Mila still doesn't have a sleep schedule since she's a newborn so sometime's she'll sleep for a few hours and other times only for ten minutes.

This time around though, you get gently pushed back onto the bed by Natasha, feeling a comforting kiss placed on your temple as your wife gets up. "I've got it, moya lyubov'." She whispers and you don't have enough energy to resist, watching as Nat walks over to the bassinet. "Hi malen'kiy golub, you have a healthy set of lungs don't you?" Nat mumbles sleepily as she pulls the newborn from the crib, cradling the baby to her chest and gently rocking her back and forth. "Yeah I know, it's okay baby. It's okay, mama's got you." She hums as the baby's cries slowly die down, you still sitting on the bed as you watch your wife in awe. "Your mommies need their sleep huh little one, that sounds nice doesn't it." Nat yawns and you cant help but smile.

"But don't worry, every time you wake up we'll be here okay? We'll love you and hug you each time you cry. And I'm gonna protect you, malen'kiy golub. I won't let anything happen to you or your mommy, I promise." Natasha coos as she continues to rock Mila, not noticing how you're wide awake now. It's a soft, quiet vow, spoken in the dead of night, that Natasha will protect her family with everything she has in her..and it makes you fall more in love with her, if that's even possible.

Getting up, you make your way over to your wife, gently placing your hands on her shoulders to notify her of your presence. She knew you were coming as soon as she heard the bedsheets rustle, even in her tired state she was looking out for the two of you. "Hi." Nat greets you softly and you only hum, a tired smile on your face as you rest your head on her shoulder. Your hand comes up and is gently placed on Mila's back, rubbing soft circles on her onesie. Natasha's heart swells as she looks at her small family, smiling when you kiss her cheek. "I love you." You whisper before looking down at your daughter. "And I love you too." You hum, gently kissing her fiery red hair. Nat kisses your temple gently and closes her eyes, finally at peace with her daughter in her arms and you at her side.

[pigeonp0st]

Reader jumped off the cliff in Vormir instead of Natasha 😈

Natasha Romanoff x Reader #8

Words: 2,826

Warnings: Reader dies...angst

Notes:

Thanks you for requesting ;) and thanks to @gaytrashgoblin for proofreading. I had fun with this one...I’ve been having fun writing a lot lately.

————

There’s something sick and twisted about the world's constant need to fail the good people in it. Weirdly enough, that’s the first thought you have when Wanda turns into dust in your arms.

Then, the next;

“We failed.”

———

When Natasha finds you crouched by Visions body and staring lifelessly at, it she pounces on you, wrapping her arms around you more tightly than she ever has before and repeating, over and over again, “thank god.”

She’s sobbing into your shoulder with her relief, and your arms are hovering over her back, frozen. Frozen because you’re in shock, frozen because you don’t feel like you’re you. You feel like you're watching someone else’s life, because the Avengers don’t fail. They can’t fail. They...failed?

They failed, you failed, and too many are gone now. Too many are gone but Natasha isn’t, so you sag into her arms and you clutch onto her as tightly as she’s holding on to you, and revel in the fact that you lost everything, but you still have everything. You have Natasha.

It should be enough...but somehow it isn’t. Somewhere along the way of reluctantly becoming an Avenger you started to want more, more than just her, and you curse yourself now for loving these idiots who risk themselves so much. These idiots who mean too much.

———

Natasha is clingy after the...blip (that’s what people have come to call it). She’s clingy, and angry, and devastated, and you push aside everything you're feeling and do everything you can to take care of her for five years, because it’s much easier to analyze and argue about Natasha’s self deprecating habits than to sit down for a moment and realize that you’re not okay.

It’s easier to pull Natasha in at night when she wakes up from one of too many nightmares and tell her that you’re there, that you’ll always be there, when you’re not allowing yourself to think about how much you wish you disappeared with the rest of them.

It’s easier to yell at Natasha for her drinking than to talk about why some days you’re unable to get a drop of sleep, and other days all you do is sleep.

It’s easier to pretend Natasha’s nightmares are what keeps you up at night, and not the way your skin crawls at the possibility of closing your eyes for a second and not seeing her there.

It’s easier to stand alone in front of the doorway of Wanda’s room, replaying the moment she disappeared over and over again, then to do it with Natasha next to you worrying about whether or not she’s letting you down.

——

Time Travel. Getting the infinity stones before Thanos can get his hands on them.

Hope. Hope for the first time in a long time. You look over at Natasha and notice the spark that's in her eyes, the spark that’s been missing for five years, and feel your own type of hope too.

Whatever happens, you’re going to make sure everyone comes back, but more than that you’re going to make sure Natasha gets to see it.

——

You and Natasha are assigned to get the soul stone in Vomir.

The whole trip up the mountain you feel this unexplainable dread and you don’t know why. You don’t know why until;

“In order to take the stone you must lose that which you love. An everlasting exchange. A soul for a soul.”

Natasha is silent and tense as she takes this information in. You begin forming your plan.

——

“We both know what needs to happen here,” Natasha sighs, finally standing up and deciding to stop putting off the inevitable. You glance up at her, not moving an inch other than to tighten your grip on your gun.

You have a plan. A plan that to you seems full proof, but if Natasha goes psycho before you can manage to even say something then you’ll just have to shoot her.

“If you jump off that cliff I'm jumping after you. Titanic style, Nat. Don’t test me,” you pause, narrowing your eyes at the way her own hand tightens on her gun, “don’t even think about trying to physically stop me from jumping because there’s other ways people can die, ways you can’t stop me from when you aren’t here. The Avengers won’t get the stone if I’m given it.”

Natasha tenses again, her jaw locking and her eyes harder and more angry than they’ve ever been looking at you. You know why, it’s totally justifiable, but it still hurts. “Everyone doesn’t come back if we don’t get that stone.”

“Yep.”

“Y/N!” Natasha yells, her voice echoing all around you. “This isn’t a fucking joke, okay? We both know you wouldn’t do that.” Natasha says that but there’s this small barely noticeable uncertainty in her eyes, and it’s all you need.

Natasha won’t jump if there’s even a slightest chance that you’d jump after her. If there was even a slightest chance that you’d fuck up everything everyone has been fighting for, and you wouldn’t—you couldn’t—you think most of her knows that...but nothing in life is certain, and so much uncertainty in something so integral to the mission is too big of a risk.

“You’re...this is your plan, huh?” Natasha says quietly after a moment, wheels visibly turning in her head. “And if I said I'd do the same, if I said I'd jump after you if you didn’t let me do this?” She asks, curious.

You had enough time to think about that too. “You aren’t willing to take the risk that I’m telling the truth when I say I'll jump too. I’m willing to take the risk that you aren’t.”

There’s a long pause where Natasha says nothing, and during it you start to wonder if you read her all wrong. You start to wonder if this is a risk Natasha would take, just to make sure you stay alive, but then Natasha grabs you by the collar of your shirt and pushes you off the log you were sitting on and straight to the ground and you think you’re screwed.

Your instincts have you pointing your gun at her thigh and tightening your grip on the trigger, heart beating a mile a minute, but before you can pull it you feel a tear fall on your cheek.

Natasha’s crying, you realize, heart in your throat. “I’m sorry,” you want to say, “I’m sorry, Natasha. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for not being strong enough the first fight, I’m sorry for not being strong enough for the five years after, I’m sorry for not being strong enough now—strong enough to let you die. I’m sorry for wanting you to live through another death because I’m too weak to do it myself.”

But all you manage to get out is a broken, “Nat,” and you think she understands anyways. You think she understands because she shakes her head roughly and slumps down on you, burying her face in your neck and breathing you in.

“I’m sorry I can’t choose you over the world,” Natasha whispers, voice breaking. And then, angrily; “how dare you?” She asks, pulling away to glare at you so brokenly you start to feel guilt—so brokenly that you're selfishly glad you won’t have to be there for the aftermath of how you destroy Natasha. “How- how could you make me choose when you know…”

She doesn’t finish, just sobs and shakes her head, but you know. You know what she was going to say.

How dare you make her have to choose the world, when you know she wants to choose you.

It’s an admission of defeat that doesn’t leave you feeling victorious.

“You’ve been an idiot before, I can’t risk you being an idiot again. They need that stone,” Natasha gets out between sobs, wanting to explain because she needs you to understand. You already do though. You already do.

“I get it baby. I’ve been too unpredictable,” you laugh but it’s humorless and Natasha only shakes harder. “I’m sorry for all the missions I've sabotaged for you.”

How does one do this, you wonder. How does one just walk off a cliff to save the world, to save the women they love, with the women they love watching. How does one decide when they’ve said all the goodbyes they need to say and are ready, when you don’t think you could ever be done talking to Natasha, when you don’t think you’ll ever be ready to leave her if you’re leaving her alone.

You think you're done and that the world can’t hurt you anymore, but then it hurts you more, and how can you leave Natasha in a world like this one if you’re incapable of showing her it can get better too. If you’re incapable of showing her that there’s beauty in life too.

“Don’t hate people,” you ask quietly, “don’t hate people, or the world, because you had to sacrifice me for it. The world is beautiful, Nat. The world is beautiful,” and as you say it you think back on five years where you were incapable of seeing it and you’re left to regret it all.

That’s the irony of life. You realize things and you see them as they are when it’s too late.

“There’s poetry in life. There’s meaning in everything. Look for it when I'm gone, okay?” You beg, closing your eyes and feeling this. Feeling Natasha on top of you, shaking but there, feeling the breeze, feeling the ground beneath you, feeling the coldness, and the warmth, and everything in between, feeling the beat of your heart, and the breaths you take. Feeling the love. The love that’s there when everything else becomes not good enough.

“Look at the sun when you want to feel me, and listen to the rain when you want to hear me. Listen to the others, you aren’t alone even when I'm not there.”

“Stop,” Natasha pleads breathlessly, squeezing you so tightly you’d be worried about the bruise it’s going to leave later if there was a later for you. “Stop talking. Stop it—stop. You can’t—you can’t. It’s unfair. It’s unfair.”

You nod, opening your eyes again and gently nudging a shattered and broken Natasha off of you. “I was done anyways,” you tell her with a smile, glancing at the cliff you’ll be jumping from. Natasha’s hand holds onto your wrist tightly when she looks at the cliff too.

Her eyes are more expressive than they’ve ever been right now, and you can see how close she is to saying ‘fuck it’ and jumping instead. You can see it in how tense she is, like she’s physically fighting herself to stay, you can see it in the way her breath quickens, the way her eyes narrow like she’s trying to think of another way, and you decide that it’s time to go before she decides she’s willing to risk.

“Close your eyes and count to ten.”

Natasha’s eyes snap back towards you. “I love you,” she says quickly, “I love you so much,” and then she’s kissing you, and pulling back much too quickly , and you're shooting her in the thigh, shooting her because she had this look. This terrifying look on her face that was entirely desperate, crazed, and determined. She was heart over head, when you needed the opposite.

You run towards the edge of the cliff as soon as the gunshot rings out because Natasha is an immovable object and when she wants something a bullet in her leg isn’t going to stop her.

“You’re a real asshole Nat!” You growl out, dodging a grappling hook.

Natasha doesn’t have a lot of long distance weapons on her other than the grappling hook and her gun, and she’s not fast enough to get to you with an injured leg, that’s what you think until she shoots some weird electrocuting web thing at you.

It only takes you out for a couple of seconds, but she still manages to catch up to you in that time.

And now...now you’re scared. Now you’re terrified.

She’s on top of you again, eyes hard and unrelenting as she pushes you into the ground and tries to get up again. You prevent her by wrapping your legs around her waist.

“Natasha! What about Clint’s family?! What about Wanda? What about Peter, he was just a kid, what about—”

“What about you?!” Nat chokes out roughly, struggling against you. “What about you, Y/N, and what about— what about me?”

“It’s either you lose or I lose,” you say softly, freeing your hand from Natasha’s grasp and finding the knife Tony made for you in its safety sheath. It’s hot enough to cauterize a wound—he made it that way because he said you got injured too often—and you brought it just in case. “And Natasha, I’m too selfish and my ego is too big to be okay with losing.”

“There’s no winner here,” Natasha says a moment before you press your scathing knife against her injury.

The yell she releases then is nothing compared to the earth shattering cry she lets out when you manage to escape from under her and leap over the edge of the cliff with one final look over your shoulder and a smug; “I really hope there isn't a hell.”

The whole way down you think of Natasha’s face before you went over the edge, pleading and so unbearably sad. So unbearably unwilling, and not ready to let you go.

Your final thought before you hit the ground is; “The world was really beautiful because of you, Nat”, and then you only have an instant to wish you could have had time to tell her that.

———-

They bring the people they lost from the snap back, but they don’t bring everyone back.

It’s victory, they all know, but it doesn’t feel like victory. It doesn’t feel like victory because Vision is gone, Gamora is gone, Tony is gone, you’re gone, and none of them will ever be the same again.

It’s victory on the back of sacrifice, so it isn’t good enough. It isn’t good enough to be worth celebrating. They’re all just so tired. Natasha is so tired.

They won, but she doesn’t feel that, all she feels standing there is the phantom touch of your hand on her back, and your lips against her ear, asking her to not hate the world, asking for her to look for the poetry of things—but she thinks that if life is full of poetry, then her life is just one tragic poem.

She still tries though. She opens her eyes back up and tries to think of anything other than the way her heart feels so much heavier than it did with half the world gone.

When she looks up at the sky, the clouds and smoke part just a bit and she gets washed in the glow of the sun.

Look at the sun when you want to feel me.

Natasha’s breath catches in her throat, full of too much emotion, and her legs give out from under her, because suddenly the world is beautiful. Suddenly you’re there, and the world is full of poetry too, because there has always been poetry in the way that you have always been there for her when she needed you the most.

“Thank you,” Nat whispers, clutching a hand over her heart and trying to find the words to communicate with you that she needs you forever. That she needs you back. Trying to find the words to say that the sun and rain aren’t enough, but knowing that you realistically couldn’t hear her anyways.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect us from the ugly of the world. I’m sorry I let us live in it for too long,” Natasha thinks, “I’m sorry it was all I could see when you were right there showing me the beautiful.”

———

Wanda is the one to find Natasha after people start wondering where she is. She finds her with her face pressed into the dirt, and oddly enough—the lowering sun peaking through the clouds only touching her.

When she wakes her up Natasha’s eyes are frantic and scared until she looks up in the sky and sees the sun still there. Still on her somehow.

“Are you okay?” Wanda forces herself to ask, even though she knows the answer.

Surprisingly, Natasha nods and laughs, exhausted and delirious. “As long as the sun is still up.”

It’s the closest thing she’s got to you, Natasha doesn’t say.

It’s the only warmth she thinks she’s going to feel for a long while.

It’s the only thing she can find beautiful in the world anymore, even as she tries to look harder for other things like you asked.

It’s the only thing she feels, and the only thing she wants to feel anymore. It’s the only thing she has.

[mikebyler]

Hi what up I’m here to talk about uhhhhhh how criminally underused Hela was in Thor Ragnarok????

[holylulusworld]

Deafening Silence

Summary: Steve and you are falling apart. Can you save your marriage?

Pairing: Nomad!Steve x fem!Reader

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Sharon Carter (mentioned), Tony Stark

Warnings: angst, language, unrequited love?, arguments, you and Steve go through a rough patch in your relationship, regrets, a hint of fluff, pissed reader, sadness

A/N: Not Endgame compliant. No one died, everyone is still alive and kicking.

Divider by @firefly-graphics​

Another cold night awaits you. Once upon a time you and Steve were undefeatable and, to be honest, sickening in love. Now you lie on the edge of the bed, try to not get too close to your husband as he always finds an excuse to not hold you in his arms any longer.

Tears well up to your eyes hearing him snore lightly next to you. Wondering if he’s losing sleep lately too but the way he peacefully sleeps tells you, he’s not letting his mind run wild.

“No sleep for me again, I guess,” silently leaving the bed you grasp one of his shirts to press it to your nose. It’s the only time you can catch his scent, so you take what you get. “Sleep well, Stevie. You don’t seem to have problems falling asleep.”

As so often lately, you walk out of the bedroom to grab a snack or watch nonsense on TV to take your mind of the problems right in front of you. Somewhere on the line you and Steve lost your love, or you lost Steve. You haven’t found out yet.

All you know is that the deafening silence between you and your husband is breaking you every day more.

“Can’t find sleep?” Bucky asks, watching you sit on one of the chairs in the kitchen. Steve invited his friend to sleep a few weeks at your guestroom as his apartment got blown up by one of New Hydra’s goons.

“I just-“ you bite your tongue, shaking your head every so lightly. You like Bucky, he’s your friend, but you can’t talk about Steve with him. He’s your husband’s best friend and would side with Steve over anyone. “Sometimes I got problems to fall asleep, is all,” you lie poorly.

“What about Steve?” searching your face Bucky nods silently. He can see your red-rimmed eyes and hear your tiny sighs whenever Steve ignores your present. “Maybe you want hot cocoa? I can make you some, doll.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just sit here for a while, ya know,” playing with your wedding band you don’t meet Bucky’s gaze, fearing he’ll see through your lie. “I just got a lot of things going on right now. We are back, work with Tony and the others again. Maybe we just need time to adapt.”

“If I can help, tell me so,” offering a cracked smile you nod, knowing you can’t take Bucky up to his offer. “You’re my friend too. How about we watch a movie and talk a bit?”

“I appreciate your offer, but I’m not in the mood to talk, Bucky,” sadly you are too tired and emotionally exhausted to even talk about the thing weighing heavy on your heart.

“Y/N,” walking toward Bucky places one hand onto your shoulder, squeezing it lightly. “Just talk to him, doll. Steve loves you and-“ you huff. It’s the first reaction he gets from you making clear you are hurt. 

“I don’t want to talk about it, him,” voice cracking you watch Bucky rummage in your kitchen to prepare cocoa for you. 

“You went through a lot together over the last years,” Bucky begins, eyes drifting toward you slumped in your chair. “Ultron, the accords, me,” you laugh when Bucky gives you a wink. “I know, I’m the most charming event rocking the boat but then there was the war between the Avengers, Thanos, the blip, and after that-”

“Steve told me he thought about going back to Peggy for a split-second, that life back then was easier and more-“ you try to find the right words but fail. “All I got was that he’s still a man out of time and that he’s sorry for considering going back.”

“Well, shit-“ Bucky grumbles. “I didn’t know, I swear. Here I stand, believing I know everything about my friend,” you shrug, watching Bucky prepare two mugs. “Did he at least apologize?”

“He did, more than once and I forgave, but never forgot,” sniffing you look at Bucky. “Since then, he started to distance himself from me. I feel like he regrets coming back to me, Bucky.” gasping you realize you just revealed your thoughts.

“Doll...”

“Please don’t tell him. I know Steve is a good man, but sometimes I think it would be easier for me if he just does what he has on his mind for months – file for divorce.”

“Anything from Steve?” watching Bucky check his phone you sigh deeply. Steve disappeared this morning, out of the blue. “Why didn’t he tell us about his mission? He always told me about his missions, confidential or not.”

“I got nothing either, doll,” grumbling Bucky sit on the couch, scrolling through his contacts. “Shall I call Tony or Natasha? Maybe they can fill us in why Stevie just grabbed a bag and left without telling us about his mission.”

“No,” biting your lower lip you wreck your brain. Maybe Steve did tell you about his mission? Lately, you are too lost in thoughts and self-doubts and barely listen if Steve finally talks to you. “I have work to do at the new tower. I will ask Tony if he can tell me about Steve’s whereabouts.”

“Okay,” wondering again Bucky looks at his phone, shaking his head at Steve’s message from last night. 

“Steve is not on a mission?” gaping at Tony you try to hide you can hear your heart pounding in your ears. “I thought he went on a mission last night. Did I confuse the date?”

“There is no mission for Capsicle,” Tony snickers. “According to my information, he took a week off. Said something about sorting things out. Honestly, I didn’t listen.”

“O-okay,” you swallow thickly, force a smile on your lips hurting your face. “I got it wrong then. I finished my reports. You should check on the sidenotes about the bank accounts. Maybe E.D.I.T.H. can check on the accounts later.”

“Y/N, is everything alright? You look a little shaken up or something,” Tony watches you fiddle with your phone, knowing something must be off with you and your husband. “Do you need my help? You know that you can tell me anything.”

“It’s nothing, really,” the lie rolls easily off your tongue, you are used to lying to yourself for months so why not lying to your friends too. “I just need some time off, Tony.”

Aimlessly walking the streets of New York, you doubt your husband once again.

Tony said he’s not on a mission. All of your friends don’t know where he could be and Bucky, well he said Steve didn’t tell him anything.

“Where are you Steve?” looking at your phone you sigh deeply. “Fine, we will do it the hard way. E.D.I.T.H., please use the tracking app we put on Steve’s phone. I need to find Captain America. It’s an emergency.”

“Tracing Captain Rogers’ phone,” E.D.I.T.H. replies. “Captain Rogers’ phone is not far away. He’s at a café, P.J. Clarke’s on 55th and 3rd, agent Rogers. Can I help you with anything else?”

“No, thank you,” walking faster you grip your phone tightly. Why is Steve at a café at that time of the day? He never disappeared only to take a day off and sip coffee.

If a heart can shatter, yours does in the very moment you arrive at the café only to see Steve sit at a table with Sharon Carter.

You haven’t seen her for years, but you must admit, she looks great as always.

“Stevie,” you whisper, hands clutched tightly to your chest when Sharon places her hand onto Steve’s on the table and he doesn’t move his hand away. He smiles, even chuckles at something the woman says. “A Carter again, how pathetic. Fuck that. Fuck fighting for our love if you refuse to even try.”

Unbeknownst you saw him with Sharon your husband tries to ask his friend for advice. Missing your pained expression and the tears run down your face when you storm off.

“Doll! Fuck I was worried about you. Tony called, asked if you are okay. He said Steve is not on a mission and that he took a week off,” Bucky watches you storm into your and Steve’s apartment. “Y/N, something wrong?”

“Everything is wrong, Bucky. But from now on, I’ll take my life back in my hands,” you quip. “I would appreciate it if you could get me my ‘I hate early mornings mug’, I want to take it with me,” walking toward your bedroom you ignore Bucky follows you.

“What do you mean by taking it with you?” while you get two suitcases out, Bucky tries to make you talk to him. “Do you want to go on a mission? Why so many suitcases?”

“Oh, Stevie was busy to take a week off while I was worried about him,” you quip, opening your drawer to grab random clothes, tossing Steve’s onto the floor. “Imagine my surprise when I traced his phone only to find him with another Carter.”

“Sharon?” humming you neatly fold your clothes to place them into the first suitcase. “Did he-?”

“No, but I guess Steve is just not man enough to file for divorce to be with her,” glaring at Bucky you make your way back toward the wardrobe to grab more clothes. “While I tried to save our marriage, Steve sits in a café and allowed that woman touch his hand. He smiled at her Bucky. I didn’t get a smile from him for months.”

“Doll, you can’t just leave without talking to him,” Bucky tries to stop you, but you made up your mind. Before you met Steve, you were wild, feisty, and stubborn but he tamed you and your free spirit. “Wait, let me call him.”

“I tried to call him this morning and after I saw him with that woman,” slamming the first suitcase shut you glare at Bucky. “He didn’t answer. It was his last chance to explain things to me, Bucky. Now I’m done waiting for Steve to tell me it is over, we are over.”

“What’s that?” looking at a neatly folded letter on your bed Steve feels his chest tightening. Your wedding band lies abandoned on the letter, but you are nowhere to be found.

“She saw you with Sharon yesterday. I guess taking off a week to meet up with an old flame and ignoring your wife called you about ten times wasn’t the smartest plan,” Bucky shrugs. “I called you too.”

“I need time to figure things out,” Steve sits on the bed, pressing the wedding band in his hand to his chest. “We went through a rough patch and I didn’t know how to fix things between Y/N and me.”

“Not talking to her and getting all cozy with Sharon was a great idea,” gritting the words out Bucky watches his friend unfold the letter with shaking fingers. “Steve.”

“I-I just didn’t know if Y/N still wants me after I admitted that I was tempted to go back to Peggy. She was distant for a few weeks and then, she almost clang to me. As if Y/N tried to fake she forgave me,” reading the letter Steve sniffles silently. “Oh, god she wants to file for divorce.”

“What?” grasping for the letter Bucky reads the last lines you wrote.

‘As you aren’t man enough to tell me that you don’t love me anymore, I will tell you it’s over. You don’t have to be the bad guy, Captain. The papers will reach you soon. Have a great life with Sharon…’

“Do you know where she went, Bucky?” jumping up Steve looks for his keys, already grasping for his phone to call you back. “Buck!”

“She came here, packed two suitcases, and left. I tried to stop her, but she didn’t listen, Steve. I don’t think Y/N will call you back.”

“Then I’ll have to find her, no matter what…”

“A whole month!” Steve waltzes into your apartment, panting heavily. His hair longer again, a thick beard framing his face he wraps you in a hug. “I was so worried, doll. How could you just leave without a trace?”

“Didn’t think you would miss me, Steven,” using his full name on purpose, you smirk as Steve flinches. “I believed Sharon would soothe the pain and fill the tiny gap I left in your life.”

“Y/N,” mumbling your name Steve pecks your hair while his hands run up and down your back. “I swear, I’m not with Sharon and I don’t want her, doll. When you saw me with her, I gave her something Peggy left for me. It was the first step to give up my past.”

“You held hands, and you smiled at her, Steven. Don’t lie to me,” you push against his chest, try anything to break out of his embrace. “I’m not stupid nor blind.”

“She grasped for my hand as I gave her the medallion Peggy left me. I smiled as she thanked me, and we remembered the last days with Peggy. Y/N, please believe me there is nothing between me and Sharon,” Steve desperately tries to not let you slip out of his embrace, but you fight him with all your strength.

“That’s the reason you take a week off and instead of having dinner with me, you meet up with that woman. Your former girlfriend,” you growl, pushing against Steve’s chest. “I tried to fix us, and you just ran off.”

“I wanted to clear my mind,” Steve mumbles. “I was afraid you are still mad at me for admitting that I thought about going back in time for Peggy for a second. I’m bad at admitting my feelings. I was afraid to lose you and handled it the wrong way.”

“Pushing me away to keep me was a great plan,” you give up fighting Steve’s strength, hating he’s so much stronger than you are once again. “You hurt me and now you come here and want me to do what?”

“Please come home, doll,” pecking your forehead Steve mumbles apologies against your skin. “Your husband is an idiot when it comes to feelings. I love you, love you so much. We need to work on our marriage but please don’t give up on us.”

“Like you did months ago?” cursing under your breath you glare at Steve when he tries to kiss you. “Fixing things between us won’t be that easy, Steve. You hurt me with your behavior. If you want me to come back, you’ll have to do more than coming here and looking like the man I’ve missed.”

“I’ve missed you too, doll,” pecking your lips Steve slides his fingers through your hair. “Please come home and I’ll do anything you want me to do. Tell me how to fix us.”

“Maybe Bucky can give you advice,” you smirk, breaking out of Steve’s embrace to walk into your living room. “He’s a man who can talk with a woman.”

“When did Bucky talk to you? Doll?” while you check on your phone Steve starts to pace your living room. “Did he touch my girl?”

“Why would your best friend touch me, Stevie?” you coo. “I mean, Sharon only touched your hand, right. There is no reason for me to be mad. What if Bucky did the same or Tony? Maybe Sam hugged me a bit longer than necessary.”

“I will kill them,” Steve balls his hands into fists, stares daggers into the picture of you and the team. “Tell me who dared to touch my wife,” nostrils flaring, chest heaving up and down Steve points at the picture. 

“See,” you walk toward your husband, placing your hand onto his heart before you meet his gaze. “That’s how I felt when you let that woman touch you. You gave her my smile while you ignored me.”

“I didn’t ignore you; it was just-“ sighing Steve hangs his head low. “I get it, doll and I’m sorry. If you give me a chance to prove that I can be the man you deserve, I’ll try to do so every day from now on…”

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