#but she realizes that she has to stay for ahsoka

[pandora15]

so yeah I still feel the same way I felt at the beginning of the ahsoka series

there are things I really REALLY liked about it. but there are also things that I find frustrating and like. not really fleshed out at all?

like.

ezra's whole arc was amazing. his dynamic with sabine? him getting to make a new lightsaber that looks like kanan's? him finally getting to go home and reuniting with hera? i was almost CRYING at that part and I literally screamed when it cut away before we could see them hug. all of it was AMAZING.

but I'm also like. frustrated with the way that they didn't really explain sabine's past? or like, the things that connected her from the end of rebels to now. like I feel like I still don't understand what happened between her and ahsoka before the events of this show. there was that moment where huyang talked about it to ezra a bit but it's like. so quick and just like "oh ahsoka was worried about sabine turning to the dark side" and then it's never mentioned again???? it's just like how baylan mentioned mandalore's destruction in ep4 and how it drove sabine and ahsoka apart as like a throwaway line and then it's never brought up again? i'm??????

but I also really REALLY liked baylan and shin, and the fact that the mortis gods are referenced at the very end of this season INTRIGUES me. i need to know where this is going.

every time hayden showed up in this series he was INCREDIBLE. probably definitely my favorite part of the series. episode 5 is definitely my favorite episode.

but I'm also like. not feeling great about how ahsoka seems to think about the jedi at the time of the clone wars. she says this line about how anakin was the only one to stand by her, even when no one else would, when homeboy literally turned to the dark side and later tried to kill her in rebels? did she forget about that?

did she forget about all the jedi who mentored her during tcw? about plo koon, luminara unduli, tera sinube, aayla secura? about obi-wan? we haven't seen her even mention any other jedi from that time other than anakin (and kanan, in today's episode, but that's literally because of ezra).

i'm just hnggggggggggg so conflicted. the show does some things so WELL and I'm in awe of those things but then it also just. completely misses the point or confuses me or just makes me vaguely upset and it just leaves me in this state of being frustrated

anyways.

overall I did enjoy the show, even if it sounds like I didn't. It's just. I think it would've been better if the ahsoka series and the rebels sequel were two different things, y'know? it would've given more time for both of these storylines to be fleshed out more properly.

but here we are, I'm accepting that this is the show that we got, and I think it was good. I'm intrigued to see what happens next.

[forcemeanakin]

Hot with brains

•WARNINGS: SMUT.  Fingering (f receiving), oral fixation, dirty talk, praise kink and also degrading kink, corruption kink kinda??? Edging. Public space. The OC has a kink that attracts her to smart guys.

Pairing: ROTS!Anakin Skywalker x Female!reader.

Summary: Anakin falls for the librarian at the Jedi Temple, however, he soon realizes his adorable smile and golden curls won’t cut it with this one. No, she likes something different: brains. 

Word count: 4.7K. 

A/N: Pretty self-indulgent piece. I've been obsessed with Anakin's engineering brain ever since I got into Star Wars and this idea had be floating around for a whileeeee. Hope you all enjoy reading it, as much as I enjoyed writing it!

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You liked smart guys. 

It wasn’t a kink per sé. You just couldn’t see yourself hooking up with someone with no brains, let alone establishing a committed relationship with them. You were swoon by guys with deep thoughts and admirable speech skills. The type of man that would go for a whisky instead of a beer, or use real shoes instead of plain sneakers.

You being a snob might have to do with your upbringing, after all you were the daughter of two scholars and professors of one of the most prestigious universities of Coruscant. You were raised to be logical and love intellectual conversations. You wouldn’t- No. You couldn’t see yourself enjoying a space with someone with a low IQ.

That was the reasoning behind taking the internship in the Jedi Temple’s library as part of your college voluntary program. You had to volunteer a certain amount of hours in order to graduate from your Journalism degree with honors. 

You thought that even though this wasn’t exactly the area in which you were specializing, you would soak up some of the ancient knowledge of the Order, even make some great connections for the future. And so far it has been just that: A great experience. You got to read some really cool books and in the hours where no one would come, you got to finish some school work. The Jedi who would visit the library were nice and kind, always polite with a big smile. You even grew really fond of a young Togruta padawan that would spend her breaks in between training devouring books. 

It was calm and quiet. 

Until the storm broke through the door.

“Is this the one you’re looking for?” You yelled to Ahsoka as you climbed down the stairs with the title she asked for.

“Yes! Thank you, y/n!” She gave you a hug and ran to her table to start reading about the swamps in Dagobah.

You returned to your desk and kept registering the book’s codes into the control sheet when a loud sound made you look to the door, the one that was violently being thrown to open room for a tall, curly-haired man with dark robes.

You would recognize those robes anywhere. In reality, anyone from any point of the galaxy would recognize them.

Anakin Skywalker. 

One of the few exceptions of Jedi men who didn’t live up to the sophisticated standard of the Order’s image. And definitely someone you would prefer to stay away from. For some reason he was the favorite warrior of the people; the citizens would line up in front of the Temple to scream “Hero with no fear” to that pretentious douchebag.

He was fine. 

As what most people would call courageous, you would say careless. To others he was passionate, to you he was irrational. Not to mention how idiotic and unsubordinated he was; always talking back and doing things his way, ignoring what the guidelines said.

You didn’t like him. You didn’t like him at all. For that you were thankful that he never set foot into your sacred place. Until that doomed day.

“C’mon, Snips.” He shouted, approaching the desk where she sat. “We need to go. Council just called.”

“Can I have five more minutes? I’ve barely read anything about where we are going!” Ahsoka whined.

“You don’t need to read anything, we will find out anything that’s necessary there.” He huffed, finding his apprentice’s actions ridiculous. 

You quietly sighed and rolled my eyes. Of course.

“Fine… but y/n really took her time fetching it for me.” She exhaled annoyed and closed the book. 

Your eyes remained glued to your task at hand, not willing to look up and be involved in some type of pending argument.

“Who’s y/n?” Anakin scoffed rather loudly.

“Y/n! The volunteer?” Anakin frowned at the short explanation and shook his head in a negative motion. “You know, y/n! C’mon Skyguy, follow me.”

No, please no, you whispered to your insides.

“Hey, y/n!” You heard Ahsoka’s little footsteps running to where you were. 

“What can I do for you, Soka?” You answered, still pretending that you were too busy to move your head from its position.

“Skyguy hasn’t met you. Here, Anakin, y/n. She helps us out here in the library.”

“Ahsoka, we’re not supposed to be having social meetings, we need to go-” You finally gazed up and in that moment, Anakin and you made eye contact for the first time; it was intense. It felt like something clicked for him. “You must be Y/n.” Anakin shook his head lightly, hinting a little smirk as leaned over your table with fixed eyes. 

Hell, no.

“Yes, I am. How may I help you?” You were bitter, totally unbothered by his chiseled cheekbones, or his gorgeous hair, or his plumped lips. Not even the scar had any effect whatsoever. He was an ass and that was automatically a turn off for you. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t met you. You must be new.” He explained with dreamy eyes, subtly checking you out. You cursed the moment you decided to come in today with a blouse who had a bit of a cleavage. “I’m Anakin. Anakin Skywalker.”

“Actually, I’ve been here for almost two months now.” You suppressed the soul-eating need to roll your eyes.

“Oh, really? Sorry, I don’t come here much.” He leaned over even more, trying to keep eye contact even when you sat down. 

“Obviously.” You whispered on the low.

“Excuse me?” Anakin frowned, interrupting his beam to pout with confusion.

“Nothing.” You smiled widely with a fake grin. 

“Okay…” His frown deepened before a smirk broke out his lips. “Maybe I will make it a habit and visit more often.” He shrugged his shoulders, tilting his head to the side, deciphering the effects of his statement on you. 

“You should.” You looked at him and gave him a side-smile, making his eyes sparkle. “Books are good for you.” You returned to check the order of nabooian books on your computer. 

“Yeah, books are cool but there are other things I would much rather check out.” He smirked shamelessly at you, the back-handed comment flying way over his head.

You felt like gagging. Not the good kind.

Before you could come up with a clever response and shut him down for good, Ahsoka spoke from behind him.

“Ugh, gross! Let’s go!” The kid dragged him out by his clothes and before he disappeared through the glass door, he winked at you.

That was the first time you have seen him. First of many, many more. 

Since the day your paths crossed, he took every fleeting moment to come and “read”, when in reality it was just him eating, or drawing or doing anything but opening a book. Taking advantage of your breaks, or whenever you returned to your seat after doing rounds, he would come over and make conversation. About his battles, his accomplishments, his close-calls to death… or about random facts he collected from his missions and travels; Anything that would maybe impress you.

And when he wasn’t doing that? He would drown you in compliments, to see if in fact, you soften up to him. Anakin was already aware of your no-so-secret disgust towards him the day he caught one of your eye rolls.

Did he care? No. 

He was persistent: admiring your hair, loving the way you had styled it in a little bun (even though it was because the heat was eating you alive). He would ask about the tasks you were performing, sucking at pretending to be interested in hearing about organizing books in alphabetical order. 

And it would have maybe worked; his good looks combined to his natural charisma were enough to make any mortal melt at his sight. You almost combust when you saw him carrying some wood boards into the library, the primal part of you rejoicing at the sight of his strong muscles stretching. The man was eye candy, whether you like it or not.

But, boy, were you tough.

Anakin Skywalker was not your cup of tea to say the least. You wouldn’t collaborate in his attempts to get to know you. You were so uninterested in finding out more about him when you had already scanned him. Just a way-too-handsome-for-his-own-good guy who was lucky enough to be born as the Chosen One, because otherwise, he would have never made it in the Order. He was determined, you would give him that. 

His approaches were never creepy or invasive enough to make you uncomfortable, only to drive you wild. Even when he was the worst part of your day, you had to keep the polite but distant charade going on, in order to protect your job. Your disgust towards him, instead of hurting him, amused him. He liked challenges and you were freaking Mission Impossible. Although he also saw the flaws in you: a pretentious prick girl who had probably achieved everything in her life thanks to nepotism. But he could see past that.

Because, boy, were you hot. 

And he was sure you liked it nasty. 

Underneath your goodie-two-shoes clothes hid the true you: he knew you loved being treated like a filthy slut.

“Hello, y/n!” Ahsoka squealed in an excited voice. You two have grown to adore each other. 

“Hey, Soka!” You responded happily, finishing to put some encyclopedias on a shelf. When you turned around, you saw she wasn’t alone. “Oh… good afternoon, Anakin.”

“Nice to see you too, y/n.” Anakin huffed in a sarcastic voice before strolling to where you were, Ahsoka following close behind. “Is that a new shirt? It suits you.”

“No, it’s the same white button up shirt that I’ve always used.” You smiled and turned around to roll your eyes in peace. He was too busy devouring your bosom behind the fabric to ever notice the barrier between his eyes and your skin.

“Y/n, do you think you could grab me a book about loreeks? I’m doing a little presentation about them for my science class.” Ahsoka asked you with a sweet voice.

“Oh sure… just let me look oveeeer…” You walked, stretching the words as you searched in the countless sections. “...here. It must be on one of these shelves.” You announced when you entered the exotic animals aisle. 

Digitating the code on your scanner you found out it was in one of the tallest shelves, only reachable with a ladder. Right when you were about to move it, Anakin came in.

“Don’t worry, Y/n. I’ll get it.” And he used the Force to bring the book down. “Here you go Snips, study hard.” He nudged her head, annoying her.

“Yeah, I guess… but it’s Friday. Can I read after I hang out with the other padawans? Barris and Meelo are going skating!” She gave her best puppy eyes, to which Anakin agreed, after giving it little to no thought.

“You didn’t have to give her the book, I could have done it.” You waited for Ahsoka to leave before dropping the bomb. 

“Easy there, kitten. I was just helping out.” He furrowed his eyebrows. As if the unnecessary nickname wasn’t enough to drive you mad. Looking down, he saw the rest of your outfit and lingered his eyes more than necessary in your short, black skirt. “On second thought, I might have let you do it.” He smirked confidently.

“Just stay out of my way, okay?” You growled, walking away from him to your desk, not without bumping your shoulder with his on your way out.

“What the hell is your problem?” He asked with an incredulous face.

You were done. The build-up from the past month was beginning to choke down your sense of decency. Not to mention that your day was already going terrible before he appeared: the droid that would always help you out was broken, significantly delaying your work day. Also, it was laundry day and you had to use your uncomfortable lingerie.

“You know what, Skywalker?” You turned around with raised eyebrows. “You’re my problem.” He opened his eyes in bewilderment. “I don’t like you. I don’t appreciate you coming in, all macho-” You made a mocking manner. “-acting like a goddamn superhero, only after cleaning up the mess you created in the first place.” You crossed your arms in your chest. 

“I’m a general, kitten, and I can assure you the war it’s not my fault.” He scoffed, he used the nickname again, knowing it would press your buttons. 

“And how many times have you messed it up bigger than it was?” You squinted your eyes, only to see him run out of words. “That’s what I thought.” You came back to digitating codes. “It’s like you don’t think. You are just a machine run by adrenaline and praise.” You finally rolled your eyes in front of him without shame. You tried to run down the reports that C7, your assistant droid would do, only to fail and almost delete everything in your computer. “And I can assure you I have bigger problems than dealing with you!”

“Okay, back down-”

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” You yelled, getting desperate and throwing a tantrum at the device. You had enough for the day. You could leave, given that no one would come over this late, but your sense of responsibility prevented you from going home before finishing your work load. “I fucking hate this system!”

“Let me see-”

“Don’t! Just don’t, okay?” You swatted his hand away. “I’m not in the mood.”

“Could you stop being so stuck-up and let me help you?” He raised his voice, stepping up close to tower you. His eyes were on fire and you could sense that your previous comments did get to him, but for some reason outside of your understanding, he was still willing to help.

“Fine.” You chewed the words in your mouth, stepping down as you glared at him, giving him space to analyze the situation.

Instead of leaning down the computer, he went directly to C7, who lingered weakly on the side of your desk. He picked him up and put it on the table, moving him around his hands to examine the droid. He hummed after a couple of minutes, putting the mechanical body at eye level. “I see.”

“See what? What is it?” You pressed, trying to pick a glance from over his shoulder.

“I’m going to need my tools.” He murmured, dropping the droid back again.

“Wh-”

“I’ll be right back.” He exclaimed, before heading to the door in a rush.

“Wait! What?” You shouted, the shadow of his body the only thing visible.

You stayed alone for about fifteen minutes. You even got to thinking that he was pulling a prank on you, after yelling at him. But you stayed there, because well… what else would you do? You were beginning to fall asleep as you played with paper clips, when you heard the door being opened again.

“Finally! I thought you had left!” You sighed in relief, pushing your body off your desk. 

“I was getting my tools, I told you.” He frowned, lifting the heavy, dark red box to the white marble. “Now let’s bring this one back to life.” He smiled, before busting the carcass open. 

It took Anakin less than what you waited for him to get C7 up and running again. He flipped panels, snapped cables and pressed buttons, at an order that seemed random to you, until C7’s mechanical eyes opened again.

“Oh my God!” You laughed in disbelief. “He’s functioning again!”

Anakin smiled down at the table, as he finished up adjusting some screws. C7 sat up, analyzing his surroundings before getting up and going straight back to work. 

“I-I-” You were speechless. How did he do that? So fast? “I can’t believe you just did that.” You mumbled, still looking at C7 like it was a ghost. “Thank you, Anakin.” You turned around with apologizing eyes, twitching an embarrassed smile. 

“No problem. His transmitter was disconnected from the main system. I had to fix his-” The next couple of things that he mentioned sounded like pure gibberish to you, but he was very firm, so it must be true. Right? Sensing your bafflement, he spilled facts slower and quieter until he stopped talking, finalizing with a dry smile. “Yeah, it was nothing.”

He was starting to pack everything in his toolbox again and you had a pending need to say something. However, you didn’t know if you should kick off with a real apology or-

“How did you know all that?” So a pop quiz it was. In your defense, you were genuinely curious about the abilities he had just demonstrated. Mindblown, to be more specific. 

“About what?” He furrowed his brows, closing the box but leaving on the table. 

“About the transmitter, and the restraining bolt, and- and-” You were running out of technical terms. 

“Mechanics are second nature to me at this point.” He shrugged his shoulders, picking up the box. “I know everything about the topic, so, it was an easy fix. I’d have rearranged his central system if I had the missing part, but it’s very specific. What I did will do for now, though.” 

He was about to leave when he noticed the way you were leaning on the table, head on top of your fist to pay close attention to him. You were murmuring almost unhearable “uh-huh”s, totally lost in his words. 

“Sooo, you know mechanics.” You were such a hypocrite, you couldn’t stand the man fifteen minutes ago and now you were drooling over the sight of him explaining complicated shit to you. Snob. “You often fix things?” You tried to investigate, see if the throbbing happening between your legs was worth pursuing. 

“Sometimes… I often go to the hangar and repair the damaged ships or flip them.” He grinned without teeth. “The techs often ask for me. They say I have an eye for these things. Been working on droids since I was a kid, so.” Anakin wasn’t trying to brag, but his ample knowledge in mechanics was something that he prided himself on. 

“That seems like a lot of work.” You continued the small talk, slowly losing yourself over this spontaneous crush. 

“It can get tricky.” He dismissed, beginning to notice the glint on your eyes. He recognized the way your irises had darkened: He got those fuck-me eyes wherever he went. “Still haven’t found something I can’t fix.”

But it was involuntary. The fact that he was an expert on a matter as hard as mechanics scratched a part of your brain; It flipped a switch inside of you. Anakin was a different man under your eyes now. He was smart, hella smart. 

“Gosh, that’s so impressive.” You giggled like the girls that would flirt at him. Pathetic. But you quickly regained control, not before sucking up some courage and getting closer to him, posing more seductively this time. “That brain of yours sure hides lots of secrets.”

He hadn’t quite figured out why the change of heart, so it took him a moment to replay your evening together. It lasted a bit more than he liked to admit, but it hit him. Of course. An arrogant smile cracked his face. Of course you would be attracted to someone who was a master of something you consider relevant. After all, you liked to consider yourself an “intellectual”. Just to test his theory, he consciously started to brag about something else… something that would have your panties in a bunch if his hypothesis was correct.

“Wanna know another one?” He cocked an eyebrow, resting his elbow on the table to stand inches away from your face.

Your face shined with a slight pink blush, but it was the way you bit your lip that drove him crazy. That and your enthusiastic nod. “Yeah.”

“There’s a reason behind why I’m the best pilot of the fleet. And it’s not just because of my background as a pod racer or the Force.” He whispered, snickering at how soft your eyes had grown. “It’s actually because… I use physics.”

“Physics?” You almost moaned. 

“Yeah, physics.” He repeated, moistening his lips, a thing your eyes followed. “Self-taught, just like with mechanics.”

That ripped a subtle whimper out of you. Well, not subtle to him. 

“You-you understand math?” If it wasn’t because you were visibly squeezing your thighs at the newly acquired information, he would be completely offended that you thought he was dumb as fuck. 

“Love em.” He muttered, his intense stare glued to you, as his fingers put a string of hair behind your ear.

Like thunder, you were rushing to capture his lips and show him just how hot you thought he was now. Anakin freezed at first, taking aback by your sudden demonstration of affection, but when he understood that you were willingly -and enthusiastically- giving yourself to him, he wasted no time to embrace you back. 

Wet kisses splashed everywhere; it was fucking mess. You hung onto his shoulders while he groped all of your body, starting with your sweet hips, fondling your ass like it was his personal stress ball and finally landing on your waist. You pressed against him shamelessly, but in reality, how much shame could you still have when the man’s tongue was down your throat? The only thing you knew with certainty was that the sucking sounds and moans you both dropped were intensifying the already sex-filled atmosphere.

“Anakin.” You tried to sound normal, but your voice was failing just like your knees were. “W-why haven’t you gone to a proper school? Maybe get a degree?”

Was that seriously so important to you? The opinion of others? Anakin questioned in his own head.

Anakin was the kind of person that wasn’t susceptible to the opinion of others, especially regarding his own image. He was sure of the shit he knew and didn’t need anyone validating that for him. No expensive universities, no uptight professors; Obi-Wan was more than enough. Nonetheless, he had found a shortcut to get inside your pants and God as his witness, he was gonna use it. 

“Y/n.” He snickered right in your face, drinking in the power. “I don’t care about any of that. I'm a certified engineer, that’s how I got to build this myself.” Removing the leather, he revealed his mechanical limb to you, wiggling his fingers.

It was fancier than you ever thought a mechanical hand could be. Black with touches of gold; it was elegant and sophisticated, way more advanced than any technology you had ever seen in the orthopedics research field. And you knew it well, your mom was an orthopedic surgeon. 

It was no surprise to him that after spilling that last fact you were now shamelessly grinding on his half-hard. The fact that he was an engineering mastermind was such an aphrodisiac. And as much as he wanted to have another taste of your full, pink lips, the ones he often imagined enveloped around his dick while you scolded him, Anakin wasn’t willing to make the first move.

You were going to have to beg for it. 

“Anakin?” Your hands flattened on his pecs, back arching when he cupped your cheek with the cool durasteel prosthetic, kneading against it with soft eyes. He must have noticed how captivated you were by his invention. 

“Yeah, baby?” He continued the soft ministrations up and down your cheek, redirecting your gaze to his face whenever your eyes would deviate to his artificial limb. 

“You- Uhm, you built it from scratch?” You gulped when his thumb inched closer to your mouth, rubbing your bottom lip and pulling it open. 

Little obedient you put no resistance, and instead, stuck out your wet tongue to happily receive his digit into your warmness. But this time it was his index, the one you were bobbing your head into, eye contact not faltering even when you were practically giving oral to his hand. Anakin smiled pleased at your enthusiasm for pleasuring him and added another finger for you to lubricate. 

“From scratch.” He nodded, lustful irises boring into you. “Designed it too.”

You moaned around him, feeling content with being sandwiched between his firm torso and your desk, and with your mouth being fucked by his fingers. Saliva smeared all over your chin, you whined pitifully when your lips were no longer stuffed. On the contrary of leaving you all hot and bothered, Anakin lowered those same fingers to your leaky cunt, pushing your underwear aside for easy access. 

He groaned when he first inserted a finger, your gasping a sign for him to slow down. “Baby, you’re tight.” He seemed to love that about you. 

After adjusting to the size of his strong index finger, Anakin breached in with his middle one, repeating the process of you getting used to the coldness and girth all over. 

“A-Anakin.” You closed your eyes, involuntarily standing on your tippy toes. 

“That’s right, you’re doing so well. Taking my fingers like a true champ.” He bit down a condescending smile. “Atta girl.”

The initial discomfort was just a milestone you had to overcome to succumb to the pleasure that it was being fucked by Anakin Skywalker’s metal hand. His frigid thumb came to roll over your bundle of nerves, helping you relax into him and enjoy the sensation of fully riding his hand. 

“That’s it. Fuck my hand just like that, kitten.” He chuckled, finding a spot on your neck to latch on, leave a little souvenir of your encounter, and hide his pitiful laugh. 

Kisses were peppered along your exposed throat, your clavicle and jaw, his long eyelashes tickling you and making you clench around his metal hand tighter. Whilst you worried about not whining too loud for anyone to enter the library, Anakin was pumping his fingers at such an unholy pace to complicate your task.

“Shhh, baby. You need to be quiet. Wouldn’t like for anyone to come in. You could lose your job.” He mocked with a side smile and you had to gripped his bicep to keep your balance. “Could you imagine? Getting caught having sex at work? With a Jedi?”

You could perceive that the trespassing of the pseudo-celibacy Jedi code was turning him to no end, the mischievous glimmer in his eyes getting stronger when he said the last sentence. 

“W-We’re not having sex.” You corrected him, like it mattered. Like having him knuckles deep into you was somehow less frowned-upon than to have actual coitus.

That made him laugh and you wiggled underneath him, fighting to not let your tears fall. 

“You just wait.” His lips ghosted over yours, his breath fanning over your heated face. The increase of the movements of his hand was a sign that he had noticed the contractions around his digits, fully aware that you were close. “Ready to come, baby? Gonna gush all over me?”

You nodded, biting your swollen lip, losing the battle against your tear duct. Anakin used his other thumb, the one that was not torturing your clit, to liberate your abused lip. His mouth lowered to capture yours in a hot kiss, this tongue sliding on your inside until it hit your throat. So deep into you that you would never forget his taste; so deep you will never be able to deny him. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You whimpered against his smile when you reached your peak, dissolving into this meaningless mass between his arms. “Anakin…” You rode out your climax, still rocking your hips to prolong the pleasure.

Anakin waited until you regained some composure to help you fix your clothes, putting back your underwear as he found it and lowering your skirt. His actions had you frowning: Weren’t you two gonna fuck? You were already mentally prepared to welcome his enormous cock in your tiny canal. 

He grinned at your puppy eyes and adorable pout, your flustered state funnier than it should be. It was almost enough to break him. But someone had to give you a lesson. 

 “At the end of the day, I’m just a soldier, Y/n. An incompetent one, according to you.” 

Before you could protest that, he was tilting his head in an accusatory manner. Like saying: Don’t even try it. And before leaving with his head high, he spat: 

“My apologies if that’s not fancy enough for you, ma’am.”

[tennessoui]

wip wednesday

can anidalas relationship implode anywhere but around a table?? not if im writing it lmao ft ahsoka instead of quinlan this time

Anakin gives her a very small smile, twirling his fork around his fingers before setting it down. “Master Obi-Wan could never get the sauce thick enough. He always blamed it on the—”

Across from him, at the other end of the table, Padmé sets her own cutlery down. “Is there something about this place that reminds you of Master Kenobi, Anakin?”

Anakin blinks. Ahsoka’s eyes flick between the two of them before staring resolutely at her own plate.

The chair across from Ahsoka remains empty. Because Obi-Wan didn’t want to join them. Because Obi-Wan did not want to spend time with Anakin outside of his duties. Because Obi-Wan thought of Anakin as a duty.

“What?” he asks. 

“Is there something about this villa that reminds you of your master?” Padmé repeats, pushing her plate away from her slightly and raising her glass to her lips. Her eyes are unreadable.

Anakin feels as if he’s walking Forceblind through a field of landmines.

“I’m sorry, Padmé,” he says carefully, foot forward and tapping the ground beneath him. Solid ground. No explosion. Padmé just looks at him. “I’m just worried about him. He’s been sick, of course I’m distracted.”

“His name is every other word you say,” his wife tells him. “Before you received the news that he had a cough.”

On his thigh, his mech hand tenses, the leather of his glove crinkling loud in the stillness.

“I think I’m going to go on a walk,” Ahsoka says. “Explore a bit—”

“No, stay where you are, padawan,” Anakin snaps, even though she is no longer his padawan and he has no business ordering her around. She stays in her chair, as if she has forgotten this too. “Padmé, don’t try and—and talk politics to me. If you have something to say, just say it plainly.”

“Fine,” Padmé replies, tone cold. “You have barely spoken of anything other than your former master in the past two days, Anakin, and at first I found it endearing then I found it strange. Then it made me wonder, made me think about the last time we were here. When we fell in love. When we were married.”

Ahsoka clears her throat. “I really think—” “And I realized that which I wouldn’t let myself realize all those years ago, Anakin. That even then, you talked of him more than you talked to me. So. I am asking you plainly. Is there something about this place, these lakes, this villa, that reminds you of Obi-Wan Kenobi, Anakin?”

Anakin's mouth is dry. His throat is tight.

"Or are you just so in love with him that even his absence draws your focus?"

[ceruleanvermillion]

Do the jedi have like. the star wars equivalent of sword dances? I mean lightsaber fights already look like dances, but like what about the ones that are actually intended to be dances? like imagine dancing with a lightsaber- that would be sooo pretty to look at. I imagine that obi-wan isn't like super good or an expert or anything, but there's a couple that he knows and loves and does really well, especially when he's on his own. Qui-gon was really good at many and taught him to do them and it stuck, and on those nights he was grieving he just dances listening to the force. Nobody dances quite like obi-wan, though. Like he doesn't know a lot of dances but he's really really good on the ones he does know, and plus points to the fact that obi-wan is probably also musically inclined.

Anakin is really good, too, like qui-gon, he caught it much more easily than obi-wan did. It probably started out as him accidentally seeing obi-wan do it when he was younger, and then trying to emulate and failing lmao, and then it became like, and alternative way of meditating for Anakin? like at some point Obi-wan realized that dance could totally work as a way of moving meditation and decided to teach anakin himself and enroll him in classes, and I think anakin would really get into it especially during the war. Padme would like it, she has an eye for stuff like this so sometimes she helps point out details to anakin.

Ahsoka learns from anakin because anakin is definitely the type to add sword dance into ahsoka's curiculum, but he prefers teaching her himself because he just so happens to be really good at it. Ahsoka would like it! like she's not as into it as anakin is but sometimes she practices when there's a lot on her mind or like, when she wants to show the clones what she learned. oh, the clones would absolutely enjoy watching ahsoka dance, and ahsoka would totally convince anakin to do it with her. Sometimes they'd convince obi wan. When she leaves the order she still practices, it's her way of staying connected even though she'd never come to realize it herself. And when (if?) the whole oder 66 thing happens, the sword dance is one of the few jedi culture bits that not many outside of the order knows, and she preserves it.

I like to think that she'll teach luke, one day. like maybe directly, or maybe she'll leave him a set of holo-recordings that he finds, and then luke would try to emulate and learn, and because he's Padme's and Anakin's son, he'd catch on and learn quickly. It won't be a perfect imitation, so Luke just uses his gut (the force) and adds new bits into the missing portions of the dance. He'd teach leia too, like leia is not super interested as luke is, but this specific aspect is actually super fascinating to her, so maybe she'll learn a bit, while also assisting him in doing some research about it. It surprised her how it helps her clear her mind.

[antianakin]

Man, now that I've made the connection between Palpatine intentionally manipulating Anakin against the Jedi and Anakin somewhat unintentionally poisoning Ahsoka against the Jedi, I can't unsee it.

We have this lineage that, yes, is called the disaster lineage, but is full of such beautiful wonderful Jedi who seem to have genuinely loved being a Jedi (at least, for a while in Dooku's case) and genuinely loved teaching and loved their students. And we see how that love and passion and dedication DID get passed down. We can see Yoda's patience and cleverness in Dooku, Dooku's passion in Qui-Gon, Qui-Gon's love and determination in Obi-Wan. We can even see some of Obi-Wan's lessons in Anakin every so often.

But Anakin isn't listening the same way everyone else was. Anakin doesn't believe the same way everyone else did.

Anakin gives lip service to the lessons he learned from Obi-Wan ("purpose before feelings") and Ahsoka certainly HEARS them, but she's also picking up just as much from Anakin's actual actions and choices and the lessons he teaches that go unsaid as she ever is from the few times he throws out some platitudes. She picks up on his mistrust of the Council, his belief that the Jedi aren't good enough. She knows that he wants to leave, that he's not even necessarily HAPPY as a Jedi all the time. She picks up on his disobedience and arrogance and impatience and puts herself in dangerous situations because of it. She sees his attachments, his attachment to HER, his attachments maybe even to Padme and Obi-Wan.

Anakin passes on just as much if not more of what he learned from PALPATINE than he ever did from Obi-Wan. Because actions can speak louder than words, and Anakin's actions show where his beliefs and values truly lie, and it isn't with the Jedi.

So Anakin breaks the lineage. He destroys Ahsoka's hopes of ever truly being a good Jedi Knight long before he commits genocide against the Order because he'd already started turning her against them, potentially without even realizing that that's what he was doing. Ahsoka got trained by Darth Vader, by Palpatine's apprentice, before he took on the name and position officially.

Which raises the question of whether Ahsoka WOULD'VE stayed in the Order ultimately in a situation where the Wrong Jedi arc doesn't happen, Palpatine is killed early, and Anakin stays for longer for one reason or another, but remains married to Padme and living a life of secrecy and lies. Would Ahsoka have ultimately had just enough mindfulness to decide to walk away? Would she have always decided the Jedi were too busy playing politics to truly help anyone, or did that only happen because of the Wrong Jedi arc? Would Anakin's training of her always have ultimately led to that end just because he's giving her Palpatine's poison, but she grew up on Jedi foundations of mindfulness that would give her the ability to actually walk away that Anakin has never had?

[burntblueberrywaffles]

the desperate anidala bitches shall rejoice, because i come offering a second rec list 😌 /lh

My Anidala/Vaderdala rec list! (part 2)

You can find the first rec list here!

sorry I took so long this got buried way down in my drafts but it's finally out 🫡

some of these are not complete so do check chapter count and pls dont yell at me asdfhgkjfh

Modern AUs

The Bet

Anakin's had a crush on Padmé since fourth grade, and after putting up with his pining for seven years, Obi-Wan and Ahsoka are finally stepping in and making a bet that he can't ask her to junior prom in the spring. Meanwhile, Padmé is realizing that Anakin isn't as annoying as she'd always thought. In fact, her feelings towards him are starting to go in quite the opposite direction...

Snow Place Like Home

For genre-typical convoluted reasons involving ill-timed blizzards, Padmé is forced to spend the holidays at Anakin's house. Anakin isn't as upset about his boss staying with him for Christmas as he probably should be.

Second Chances

When Luke Amidala and Leia Skywalker meet at summer camp, they're shocked to discover that they're long-lost twins. The logical next step? Getting their estranged parents back together.

I usually avoid Parent traps AU just because I dislike it as a setup, but when it comes to Anidala a bitch is desperate, and this was a cute and fun one, I really enjoyed it!

Lemon

“What other secret fantasies do I have that are glaring neon signs for you?” Anakin asks. “You’re conflicted,” Padmé says, “because on one hand you want to be a very good boy for me, but on the other you want to misbehave so I have a reason to punish you.” He blows out a plume of smoke and taps the ash off his cigarette. “You know, I really thought you were a nerd. I thought I'd have to be like, ‘Hey, how about you tie me up sometime.' Get you into this stuff little by little. But no, you’re diving right in like we met on a BDSM subreddit or something.” Or: Padmé has car problems. Thankfully she knows a good mechanic.

normally, I probably never would have checked out this fic, (mommy kink is just not my thing) but as previously stated, A BITCH WAS DESPERATE and you know what it actually slapped 😌

Rebound

Padmé Naberrie has just been broken up with. She wasn't prepared for a night out with her girls to find her a rebound. She certainly wasn't prepared for Anakin Skywalker.

Sith-Raised Anakin

the inevitable end of dancing with the devil

"Maybe it was too crass to compare the devil to such a creature—Lord Vader wasn’t the devil, he was worse." Senator Amidala was undoubtedly one of the most respected and adored public servants to walk the galaxy. Lord Vader was not. Vaderdala AU. Arranged Marriage AU

A Worthy Sacrifice

Chancellor Palpatine has dropped the act and decided to rule the galaxy openly as Darth Sidious. His reign wouldn’t be half as successful without his unhinged attack dog Darth Vader, a much rumoured warbringer who appears in black robes with a saber red as blood and brings even the strongest revolutionaries to their knees. Padmé is not only fighting for her home country but the freedom of the known regions and she is desperate to turn the tides of this war which is why she agrees to the deal Sidious offers her: A child with this favourite Sith Lord in exchange for her home: Naboo.

This is one of my favourite fics with this trope!

Pearl in My Head

Padmé's just starting her career as a Senator when she attracts some unwanted attention from the Emperor, who has decided on a very different role for her in the Empire. [empire already exists, arranged marriage/forced proximity au! loosely follows some aotc/rots events]

What Was I Made For?

Darth Vader was not a man made for love, but this was not love. Or, Basically, Padme and Vader are friends with benefits, but she's so nice to him that it makes him question his entire existence.

FOR YOUR LOVE (i’ll do whatever you want)

𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲, 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰? 𝐬𝐨 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲, 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐰? 𝐢'𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐢 𝐜��𝐧 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐡, 𝐢’𝐯𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐢’𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 He gave her that devilish smirk of his. The one that had gotten her into this mess in the first place. “I’ll give you what you want.” OR, A rare moment of intimacy happens for Padmé and Anakin – whose relationship is strictly carnal.

I have yet to read the second chapter (will get on that when I get out of the snowbaird hole lol) but I really enjoyed the first one!

Vaderdala

love me, love me (like you used to do) 

In which Vader fails to capture his son, but gains a daughter, his wife, another pair of twins... and the past.

this fic was SO GOOD holy shit literally made me feral when i fiorst read it

Love Like Ghosts

There are very few people who know the location of the Rebel Alliance’s base on Naboo. Even fewer who know the names of any of the people who work there. So when Padmé gets up on a cold morning, the windows frosted and harsh wind rattling the doors of the large house that’s been the headquarters of the Alliance for nearly two decades, to see a package with her name on it sitting on the doorstep, her heart stops in her chest.

loved this fic but as a heads up it doesn't provide "they get back together" closure so be ready for that

news of old by @ineedausernamel829

Padme is a member of the rebel alliance. During a mission, her past relationships with darth Vader comes to light

No vaderdala interactions, but exploration of the relationship through Padme talking about it - It’s so so good

Sad Vaderdala hours

Imperial Socialite

In a timeline where Darth Vader doesn't face immolation and Padmé Amidala lives, their marriage continues in a form that is at once far more honest and deeply dysfunctional. Though Padmé tries to remain within the Imperial Senate, the trauma of her husband's betrayal--and the apparent deaths of her children--force her into early retirement. Too much of a liability to aid the emerging Rebel cause directly, Padmé seeks out new avenues of defying the Empire: by leveraging her connection to Vader to mess with the Imperial Elites of Coruscant.

it could be sweet

an interconnected collection of stories based on the idea of what would have happened if Padmé had lived. (aka me finally writing down my self-indulgent vaderdala daydreams aka me living my best life)

This series is so good in a "rip my heart out of my chest and steps on it" way

all joy sucked dry

Her husband had fallen, her life’s work had crumbled, and her own babies were strangers to her. But she didn’t even care, and that was the worst part. Or: Padme deals with postpartum depression, and Vader is ill-equipped to help her

Others

Across the Seas

Padmé Amidala - the daughter of the royal governor of Jamaica - never expected her life to be much more than it already was. Her routine is to dress in her finest clothes, put on a pretty face, and ensure she is presentable to not only the people but to the many men attempting to court her. However, Padmé's world is flipped around when pirates attack, and the young woman finds herself in the company of their fearsome, brash, (dashing) Captain. Initially sickened by the roughish man, Padmé will quickly learn there is so much more to the mysterious Captain Skywalker. A pirate's life for me

The pirate AU I didn’t know I needed. So good

Right & Wrong

After they watch a holoshow that portrays reprehensible content, Anakin unwittingly reveals the concerning way Chancellor Palpatine acts towards him. Padmé will not let anyone harm her husband — and she’ll make this Obi-Wan, the Jedi Council, and even the whole galaxy’s problem if she needs to.

when the grooming is actually adressed >>

cestrum nocturnum

Summer on Naboo, the Clone Wars have yet to begin, and Anakin is tasked with protecting Senator Amidala after an attempt is made on her life. It's too bad that every moment with her has him in agony, and every moment apart is even worse—especially after that night in the courtyard ... Or: Anakin spends a torturous time on Naboo in the company of the person he loves because he doesn't know how to tell her his true feelings.

Naboo smut 🤭

And that's it! if anyone has recommendations for a fic that isn't in either of my rec lists, please let me know! I am so so desperate I need my anidala fix

Since I was deep into the Star Wars hole and desperate, I’ve also been reading non-Anidala/non-Anidala centric fics about Darth Vader/Anakin/the Skywalker family, so I will be posting a rec list for that soon! (When i say soon it can mean anything from a day to months, my brain is not always great at tasks, if anyone wants to be notified when I do post it lmk and I’ll tag you ❤️)

[clover-hoe]

LISTEN: (long post)

good luck, babe! Inspired rexwalker au. Rex and Anakin are friends with benefiting their way through the war (started abt one year in. Padme said it was ok) and Rex ends up madly (ish) in love with Anakin over some stupid shit.

Then season five happens, and Ahsoka is put on trial. She STAYS, this time, because it’s my fix it and I need her here. Rex calls the fwb off, because he thinks, if he gets any closer to Anakin he is going to say something stupid, like confess his love for a married man to the man in question.

how are the chips found? Ahsoka listens to fives, blablabls, chips gone- THIS ISNT ABT THE CHIPS OK?(mainly to myself so I don’t make the whole thing abt this)??? Order is changed. Blame all the inaccuracies on that.

so. The war ends, Rex and Anakin part ways. They are still seeing each other regularly, their family’s (Jedi/clones) being friends and all. Padme gives birth, all is good. then, Padme and Anakin start to drift apart. This is after Rex watches the five year old twins for an hour or two, Anakin and Padme walking in on them playing together, and something in Anakin clicks again, like it did back in the war.

this time, it’s different. He realizes, far too late, that he loves Rex. Padme has been spending far less time with him recently, and one night he wakes up and realizes he barely feels anything for her anymore. He runs out that night, leaving a note saying he needed to get some air- not that Padme will care.

He goes to Obi-wan, who is with Cody (they get to be in love. As a treat.) Anakin tells them abt his predicament, and Cody is just holding int eh fact that Rex is still harboring a MASIVE crush on Anakin. Watching the man care after children for five years did nothing but add kindling to the fire. The pair suggest bringing it up with Padme, so he does.

They both reside to get a divorce. Padme lets Anakin have the kids, for their sake. Anakin moves them into the creshe, letting them get settled.

Rex heard about the divorce m, and goes to comfort his friend. He knows Anakin has been through a lot these past few months, and everyone needs help sometimes.

While there, the dumbasses (affectionate) spill that they love each other, and disuse to stay friends until Anakin can gather himself. (it doesn’t take long. if it ment getting Rex, after all those years, he would go to any mind healer if it meant he could be with Rex sooner.)

[tanalorrs-heartthrob]

I have thoughts about Cal's trust issues and I'm going to make it everyone's problem

(with special thanks to @cal-with-a-kesett-tape and @weadapt's problem cause they started this blubbering mess)

It hit me like a brick earlier.

Cal knew the Mantis crew loved him.

Love wasn't enough to make them stay.

Cal has never had the chance to really sit down and think about what attachments really were and how they feel. Hear me out.

This started about Cal's trust issues. I started thinking yeah, the way his Mantis crew family left all of a sudden really shook them and he kind of replaced them subconsciously with a new crew, a new family. A couple of quick notes:

- Lost his master

- Loses all his friends on Bracca (it's implied in Jedi Survivor post-game dialogue that he had other friends besides Prauf that he left behind)

- Prauf

- Crew he grew to love left him jarring his whole world

- Lost his "new" crew suddenly and all he has left of that memory is Bode so he kind of clings to Bode unknowingly

- Bode betrayal shatters him

- Clings to the idea that he and Dagan could work together - for a split second you can see in his eyes he sees it all. He and Dagan, hair flowing in the wind, swinging lightsabers, fighting the empire together, rebuilding the order together, it's romantic really. That lasts all of 2 seconds and he's so confused.

- He loses Cordova, a man he had a pseudo-connection through BD-1 with for so long

- Loses Cere, his second master

- Has to literally kill Bode and live with that

That said, I started thinking yeah he probably doesn't really realize that how deep that all goes within him or how much it actually comes down to his lack of really knowing what attachments are. This is going to cause so many trust issues and him closing himself off because he can't handle the reality of losing more people, especially after Bode shattered his inner-most circle. How's he going to let people in again?

Then it hit me like a brick.

There's a big reason why he sees so much of himself in Dagan. Dagan's attachments turned sour - it went the Vader route of being possessive. His obsession with Sentari's project and Tanalorr was a product of not being able to let his attachments go. That's pretty clear in the game, and mirrored in how Cal has allowed "The Fight" to become his attachment.

Jaro's last words are, "Hold the line" right? We know how he now has this deep engrained need to be needed. He has to fight for something. Yes, it's all he knows, but it's deeper than that, it's the last thread he has to his master. What would happen if he let that go? Cal hasn't really sat and thought about that yet.

Not only that, Cal has internalized his loyalty to this cause as like. A familial thread. The fight was his thing and the Mantis crew became his family, filling a void. The fight is their thing. And for the first time in his life Cal feels safe again. He's finally got some solidly dedicated efforts and people he can depend on. So in them leaving the Fight behind (for good reasons!!) Cal can't reconcile that leaving that isn't leaving him too, (or as @cal-with-a-kesett-tape puts it, abandoning him) it's like denouncing loyalty to him too. He just can't separate that connection and his own attachment. Maybe that's reaching and obviously there's more to it, but I dunno guys, I dunno!!

YOU CAN LOVE EVERYONE SO MUCH AND YOU HAVE TO COME TO TERMS WITH THE FACT THAT PEOPLE CAN AND WILL LEAVE OF THEIR OWN VOLITION!!

AND HE CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND HOW THAT LOVE GETS POURED OUT IN HIS LIFE. CAL'S LOVE LANGUAGE IS LITERALLY LOYALTY AND QUALITY TIME AND THE FIGHT.

Again, there's a part of Cal that just never got to stand beside his master like the Padawans of the Republic Era got to and ask all their questions or be scolded like the way Ahsoka did about being too attached to her Master. She had to dig deep and understand what that meant, how to acknowledge it, and how to let it go. Cal has Cere but maybe she just assumed? Who knows. Cal obviously struggled with it more than anyone realized. No discredit to Cere, I just don't think it ever really crossed her mind. Or, you know, Cal's stupid stubborn especially with Cere. Maybe he just ignored her in classic Cal fashion.

All that stemmed from this:

The romance aspect.

He knows taking a romantic step forward is a risk in general. And yes there's all that subconscious hesitation because he's a Jedi. But there's a bigger problem at play with Merrin.

I have to wonder if he did in fact know how she felt about him before she left. And if he did, it's just so much worse.

To him, all this buildup of love and trust. Down the refresher the day she left. So I wonder, maybe a lot of his hesitation isn't about him accepting his feelings. Maybe he gets it. He just struggles with letting someone in again who, in his mind, so easily let him go. He now has to come to terms that he wants to ask her to stay. He has to acknowledge in his mind that he wants her enough to be ok with letting her back in, knowing she's her own person and there's a chance she has to go do her thing someday and he might just have to let her, and that would be ok.

Romance aside, he has to go through that the whole game. Letting the Mantis crew in again. Working things out with everyone, hearing them out, seeing them in their element and finally being at peace with the split - knowing they all made the right decision even if it hurt.

So all the parallels worry me, because yes, he may be more self aware. He might've learned a few lessons, might be more at peace with a few decisions, but the way he just stands in shock at the funeral pyres is just worrisome because you know he's internalizing things. Right when he feels like he's making a step forward, he's taking steps back. The darkness is there now too, and he's going to struggle, because he has more to protect.

This whole experience in survivor was such a crucial point in it but at the same time we know, it's also simultaneously reinforcing his fear of further abandonment and more trust issues, and also his fears of the dark side so I'm kind of nervous to see. Where is all of this culminates to in the next game because he's learned for sure but I also feel like some other things maybe got reinforce that shouldn't have.

Right when he was learning to move on from his attachment to the Fight, he has a new thing, rebuilding Cere's legacy and keeping Tanalorr safe. It's almost like he's doubled up on all of it. Maybe he'll learn to be at peace and let things go but for now, sweet baby boy's trust issues are off the charts!!!!

Anyway maybe none of that made sense and you don't have to agree these are just thoughts after all! Take care!

[kanansdume]

It seems a little crazy to me that the Ahsoka show had this MASSIVE fucking theme of attachments and yet doesn't even have Anakin tell Ahsoka WHY he did what he did. There's no mention of Padme AT ALL, or his vision of her dying in childbirth, or the deal he made with Palpatine. And I get that part of the reason this was likely not touched on is because the entire show was PRO attachments and generally Anakin's story ends up pretty clearly ANTI attachments, but they do touch on this via proxy anyway, so it seems really odd still that they never even bothered to explicitly have Ahsoka know WHY Anakin betrayed the Jedi.

Even if she ultimately decides that the cost of his betrayal was worth it, even if she decides it doesn't really matter who died because of him, even if she decides that ultimately she's just going to set all of it aside and remember him positively, the story they were telling would've worked better and had more impact if she'd known the whole truth about Anakin.

The impact of her deciding to forgive Sabine would make so much MORE sense if she was able to more overtly make the comparison between Sabine and Anakin. If she knows Anakin did what he did because he feared for Padme's life, it makes more sense then that she'd be able to finally get some closure on that question that's been haunting her for a decade and then come back to Sabine more positively.

It also provides a bridge between what Ahsoka's issue was in Rebels (guilt over having left Anakin and her refusal to believe Anakin was Vader) and where she is now by the Ahsoka show (uncertain how Anakin's descent into darkness impacts her own choices and her ability to teach a Padawan). It's the UNCERTAINTY that's truly the enemy here, it's the fear of the unknown. So give her the damn answer. Let her dance around the issue in the vision with Anakin and he keeps telling her she's not asking the right questions until she finally gets angry and yells, "Why did you do it?!" And THAT'S the right question. THAT'S what she wants to know, truly, is why he did it. WAS it her fault? Could she have changed anything if she'd stayed? Was he even thinking about her at all when he did it? If she'd stayed, would he have killed her, too? Had she ever truly meant anything to Anakin at all?

And only once those questions are answered can she move on in her life. Ahsoka knowing what caused Anakin to do the things he did is VITAL to this story and they can't even be bothered to even mention it. The whole catharsis of her being able to recognize that the good memories she had were real HINGES on her knowing exactly what changed Anakin from that person she remembers to the monster who tried to kill her. Without that knowledge, she just has to treat them as two separate people. There's no real closure or catharsis here.

It's possible they could've gone a route where Ahsoka just... never knows and has to accept that she'll never know and lets go of the fear surrounding that uncertainty because often in life, you don't get all the answers. But they couldn't even give us THAT much closure. At least ADDRESSING the idea that Ahsoka wants to know the truth and giving her an arc of realizing she never will could've been good, too. Instead, they just never address it AT ALL, it's never even brought up that Ahsoka has NO IDEA what led Anakin to this and how that uncertainty is literally the heart of all of her issues. How are we supposed to believe Ahsoka's moved on when the core of what was holding her back was never even spoken aloud?

[kyberrebel]

Things that went through my mind during Ahsoka Episode 5

NO NOW HUYANG AND HERA (and Jacen) THINK SABINES DEAD NOW

OKAY THIS IS IT

“You look old” Damn Anakin that was rude

So… Has Anakin just been watching over Ahsoka (and maybe his children) while he’s been dead? 

I don’t know if I have just gotten used to it, but his face doesn’t look as weird as in the last episode

Just seeing Hayden back as Anakin without even really doing anything yet is bringing legit tears to my eyes

“I’m here to finish your training” SIR??

The fighting between them is so good. It reminds me of the training-fighting between Anakin and Obi-Wan flashback in the Kenobi series 

Oh good, they don’t actually think Sabine’s dead

LEIA NAME DROP HELL YEAH

“There is something about the water… Can you hear it? The lightsabers?” Jacen is totally force-sensitive and I love it

KANAN NAME DROP IT WAS ABOUT TIME

A FLASHBACK??? *as I hyperventilate*

LIVE-ACTION CLONE WARS LETS GO

Damn Anakin looks fine here

Little Snips is so cute 

This scene really highlights just how young Ahsoka was during the war, and how kind of messed up it is to have a kid fight in a war, which I feel was sometimes lost in TCW

The acting is top-tier, from both Hayden and Ahsoka’s child actress

THE FLASH OF VADER FJVNFRENJE

“He was intense” I wonder if Huyang knows Anakin was Darth Vader

THE SEIGE OF MANDALORE IN LIVE ACTION YESSSS

So will they address the Vader-shaped elephant in the room in this conversation?

I guess so. I also literally screamed when the red saber came out.

THIS IS HAPPENING EVERYONE STAY CALM

I have so many questions… Was that actually Anakin, or was Ahsoka imagining him? If it was really him, was he just testing her? Or does he actually struggle with the dark side, even in the afterlife?

I knew she would come back to life in one episode. How many times now has Ahsoka been resurrected at this point?

I’m just now realizing that Ahsoka doesn’t have ears.

YAY SPACE WHALES ARE COMING IN CLUTCH

“I respectfully disagree” I can’t remember this dude's name, but I love him

YES LETS GO FINALLY FIND EZRA (and Thrawn ig)

This episode was amazing from beginning to end. It definitely deserved the theater release. Everything was just Chief’s kiss. Now let me go cry some more about the Anakin scenes 

[titikawai]

They need to address Bo’s trauma

Alright so this is going to be a super long essay about Bo’s trauma as I have been doing some research for the next chapters of my fic Mind Games. I went through her background and thought I would share with you my headcanons surrounding that. I especially realized that with her deaging came quite heavy consequences and thought we could discuss them. 

There are of course going to be HUGE TRIGGER WARNINGS : Grief, Grooming, SA, anxiety, depression, s*ic*de. DISCLAIMER I am no therapist so this is just me drawing from some of my how experiences with trauma and doing some researches online. 

Please know your limits and do not attempt to read this if you feel uneasy around those topics, I wouldn’t want to trigger anyone. Same goes with the potential comments that will be left under this post

So first, I’ll start with the implications of deaging Bo-Katan as they did. When we watch Clone Wars, we are led to understand that she is Satine’s younger sister but there are no indications on her age. If we think about it logically, there would probably be around an age gap of maximum 5 years between them. However, as many already pointed out, it would mean that she’d be around 60 years old in the third season of the Mandalorian. I watched a few of Katee Sackhof’s interview where she was saying that Bo-Katan was way younger that many thought she was. Indeed, with her being cast for Bo and Rosario Dawson for Ahsoka, I figured that it probably that the two were probably around the same age in CW, hence them becoming “friends” starting 7th season. It thus means that she probably was in her late teens or early twenties. However, the directors’ decision to deage her has quite huge implications : 

 Headcanons : 

* First of all, it means that there was quite a huge age gap between Satine and her sister: 15 to 20 years approximately

· We figured from the first episodes of season 3 that Bo-Katan has known her Dad and that he fought and died in the Great Mandalorian civil war. There was no mention of her mom so I just assume she died in childbirth of during the civil war as well. 

·  When her dad died, Satine became duchess of Mandalore and probably didn’t have time to personally take care of such a young sister, especially considering that she went under Qui-Gon and Obi Wan’s protection. The latter never met her so it means that she probably stayed on Mandalore with her nannies or relatives, witnessing the horros of the Civil war. She probably felt abandoned by her sister. She probably wished the war to end as soon as possible (some have theorized that her dad probably taught her how to fight so she probably wasn’t scared of using violence to defend her planet), explaining why she never understood why her sister was a pacifist.

· I am a strong believer in Satine being Korkie’s mom (I mean there is no third sister). So it means that Bo-Katan was probably a child when her big sister got pregnant with Obi-Wan. Probably, she witnessed her sister going into hidding to have her baby to try and not become a pariah. I figure this would explain Bo-Katan’s resentment against Jedis and particularly Obi-Wan as he didn’t reach out to her sister nor stepped up for her nephew (with whom there isn’t such a big age gap)

·       So, I have seen this theory going around the internet and read it in some fanfics. It makes sense to me and would explain many things in Bo-Katan’s behaviour. THIS IS WHERE THE TW BEGINS (Grooming) : I figured that Bo-Katan probably met Pre Vizsla after the civil war as he was part of the clan of the enemy. He probably quickly became her mentor, an authority figure that she felt like could replace her dad (she definitely has daddy issues). He probably made her feel understood and special, filling the whole of her parents and Satine’s absence. I honestly believe in the grooming theory saying that he manipulated her into a relationship and death watch to take over the throne of Mandalore taking advantage of her status as the duchess’ sister (as he knew it would humiliate the latter). 

·        TW (SA) Bo probably became very secretive and broke contact with her sister, probably experiencing quite a lot of anxiety : as groomed individuals cannot give consent she was victim of SA. One proof of that would be that “imfamous” butt slap she gave Ahsoka upon meeting her (which is also SA). This sexualized behaviour is not appropriate for a teen or young adult. 

*        Her exposure to this type of trauma probably made her feel like she felt invicible to danger and that is when she developed a violent, criminal behaviour (let’s not forget she participated in the burning of a village and the enslavement of its inhabitants). 

·        Then Pre Vizsla died by the hands of Darth Maul and she started feeling  grief but also probably self doubt, being hit with what she had done and went back to her sister.  She did horrible things while in DW and probably enjoyed them back then through her broken perception of things.

·        Then Satine died and she felt guilty for her death because obviously she she betrayed her. This changed her deeply as she was bombarded with her overwhelming feelings of blame, regret, guilt and confusion, probably struggling with TW drug or alcohol abuse, self harm or suicidal thoughts. 

·        She ended up leading her people, most of them probably hating her for what happened to their planet, Pre Vizsla and her sister, for Maul and of course later, the Purge… She was not her sister and I don’t think that she had ever thought through becoming the duchess of Mandalore. She definitely wanted the power but probably was not ready for that responsibility. Her people respected her because she was royalty, nothing more. They did not have love for her, nor respect : hence why they all left her once she didn’t have the darksaber anymore.

·        All those events had a huge impact on her adult life considering she had lost the majority of people she cared for and struggled to build strong and healthy relationships

She definitely struggles to be vulnerable around others tie that scene with Grogu where she asks him what he is looking at in episode 2) 

·        When it comes to romantic relationships, I picture her having an avoidant attachment style used her sex appeal as a tool to manipulate men AND women (we stan a bisexual queen), to feel in control. I feel like if she started feeling someone catching feelings for her, she would flee (that’s probably what happened with Axe as many of us assume that he was in love with her and was her ex FWB because of his bitterness and her reluctance when talking about him). 

 ·        When it comes to her relationship with Din (sorry I’m a Dinbo shipper) I feel like when she met him he struck her as really different to the other guys she met : 

-first because she had been forced to reflect on her past and draw lessons from it while she was alone on Sundary for two years

-then because he wore a helmet : so she did not see his face and struggled to sexualize him which forced her to focus on who he is inside and really bond with him on an intimate level (here I speak of real emotional intimacy and not sex)

- because he, himself, did not consider her as a piece of meat (I picture Din as asexual or demi-sexual) and he quickly showed her he cared about her and not her title, showing true loyalty to her for the first time in forever (except from her relationship with Ursa Wren and Ahsoka, I assume she didn’t have very deep friendships, most of them probably being shallow)

-because of Grogu, Din is starting to shift from an avoidant attachment style to a secure one and is way less guarded than in the first season

-so I guess she is intriged by this new form of intimacy with him, the way she feels at ease with him and not feel like she need to be hypervigilant (the scene in the cave where they sit super close shows that). Both of them lost their parents quite young and I feel like it could be a shared experience they could bond over or already have unconsciously. 

When it comes to her relationship with Ahsoka : 

PLS WRITTERS I BEG OF YOU show me a real healthy female relationship without toxicity and where they support each other no matter what. 

[thecleverqueer]

Okay. Well. Since the writers and actors are unable to say it because of the strike, and because Ashley Eckstein probably isn’t a 100% on how this was all written so she can’t say it (and clearly, I’m not either, but I have a damned good idea), I’m going to say it (what Ashley would say):

“Be patient with Ahsoka.”

Yes, she’s older. No, she’s not going to be “snips”. She’s not going to act like the person you knew before in The Clone Wars (she was forged there), but by the end of her series, she’s going to be more like the character you know and love.

I’m going to give this to you all for free:

Ahsoka is broken, like, very broken at this point in her series. She’s stoic. She’s crossing her arms, but she’s doing that so that she doesn’t literally come undone. She’s holding herself together, but she’s basically doing so by a frayed thread.

Ahsoka has been through a lot.

She was a child soldier that always felt she had something to prove, and while acting confident, in reality, she was overcompensating to hide her imposter syndrome. Then, the temple bombing… the people she loved the most turned their backs on her for political reasons. Once worse, a person she loved and trusted framed her for said bombing. Her heart was shattered into a million pieces when Barriss was revealed to be the culprit. Ahsoka wanted nothing more than to be a Jedi, but she couldn’t stay. She had to leave. Realizing she couldn’t run from what she was (“Ahsoka is Jedi”), she returned to fight in the Siege of Mandalore only to be betrayed again by her brothers in arms as they executed Order 66. The family she left behind was slaughtered. Her brothers in arms died in large part due to the fact that she let Maul go. Her sister-in-law passed away with a broken heart. Her brother lost. Ahsoka went into hiding. She spent a decade and a half in solitude as a spy fighting in the rebellion, and just as she began opening herself up again to her people, she found out that her brother was at least partially responsible for the genocide of the Jedi, the fall of the Republic and rise of the Empire. It struck her so hard that she passed out. She spent nearly a year trying to prove herself wrong, only to face off with him in the Temple on Malachor. Clearly riddled with an insurmountable amount of guilt, she was willing to sacrifice herself as a means to an end only to get ripped through a time portal. Returning to her own time, Ahsoka faced an unseen trial on Malachor that further tormented her.

Then, Ahsoka returned to Lothal (likely to find Ezra, but instead found Sabine… I would imagine that they attempted to look for Ezra and failed… this is the likely reason Ahsoka was missing from the Original Trilogy action). She began training Sabine and something went sideways. Then, Ahsoka ends up back in solitude, alone…fighting the good fight, not facing her trauma.

I’ll stop now, and say that Sabine is not the only one who is plagued with nightmares. Ahsoka felt what Sabine was going through in that hospital bed on a personal level.

And, so, what do we have to look forward to? If we end up with an Ahsoka the White (which is inevitable), Ahsoka’s Balrog is going to be her guilt. It’s going to be the shadow that Anakin Skywalker has cast upon her very being. It is her fear of becoming him. It is her unrelenting torment of leaving him behind, and somehow feeling responsible for his downfall. And, she’ll face it. It’s coming. Be patient.

[hanasnx]

-ˏ͛ ꒷꒰ anakin skywalker ⿻ m.list ꒷ˏ͛-

MINORS DNI 18+ ༄

"Please just save me from this darkness." — Snow Patrol. (2006). Make This Go On Forever.

彡 ch: anakin skywalker 「 � 」

── series ┆ CHAPTER SERIES.

smutty ¡! ❞

✩ stranded | SUMMARY: be a part of the story! vote on the poll at the bottom. ✩ part two ✩ part three

other ¡! ❞

✩ exit music for a film | SUMMARY: somehow aware of anakin skywalker’s knightfall before the events take place, you seek to change the ending before it happens. ✩ part two

── one shots ┆ OVER 1K.

smutty ¡! ❞

✩ fantasizing | SUMMARY: seeing you cozied up with general skywalker caused the clones to talk about what they’d do to you if you were theirs. anakin stands by and listens, smug that he’s allowed to do anything he wants to you, and his battalion can only fantasize about it.

✩ how he learned to kiss | SUMMARY: coaxing anakin to spill the story on how he got so good at kissing as a virgin before he even met you, he relays a story of his youth.

✩ cherries and wine | SUMMARY: anakin takes good care of his princess.

smut ¡! ❞

✩ talk huttese to me | SUMMARY: intent to get his mind off of his hard work, you ask to learn more about anakin’s native language: huttese. when he talks dirty to you in it, you can’t help but beg for more. and he gets off to the fact you have no idea what kind of depraved things he’s saying to you while he pleasures you.

✩ final girl | SUMMARY: the neighborhood serial killer has a soft spot for you. you didn’t realize how really close you were to him. after your best friend confesses his feelings for you, he confesses something else as well. something far more sinister.

✩ one more night | SUMMARY: anakin can’t accept the fact that you and him split, so he shows up at your door in the middle of the night.

✩ a lesson in huttese | SUMMARY: after a market mishap, anakin gives you a more personal lesson in how to speak his native language.

✩ starlight | SUMMARY: a happy reunion.

✩ give a little more | SUMMARY: what starts out as a romantic massage for you, ends with anakin skywalker's cock massaging your insides.

── drabbles ┆ ABOUT 1K OR LESS.

smutty ¡! ❞

✩ tit fucking ✩ the aftermath of getting a full body wax ✩ based on a tiktok ✩ arm kink ✩ dry humping ✩ black eye ✩ good at art ✩ green in the eye ✩ parasomnia ✩ prompt #100 ✩ eye contact part two ✩ prompt #187 ✩ another daddy ✩ stung twice ✩ spilling secrets ✩ stranded ✩ fan dancer ✩ sucking fingers ✩ mami ✩ dumbification ✩ baby fever ✩ picking you up ✩ throat fuck ✩ dacryphilia ✩ riding ✩ she’s busy ✩ arm kink: revisted ✩ breathplay ✩ push ✩ adultfilm!anakin ✩ "i'll haunt the..."

smut ¡! ❞

✩ early mornings ✩ prompt #65 + #68 ✩ squirting ✩ honey ✩ music taste ✩ fight ✩ "if you want more..."

other ¡! ❞

✩ ahsoka & obi wan talking about you ✩ sacred cleansing ✩ if i built a raft, will you stay with me then? ✩ profighter au ✩ breakeven ✩ drunk ✩ 6'7!anakin

── headcanons ┆ LIST OR NARRATION.

smutty ¡! ❞

✩ wearing glasses ✩ “daddy” ✩ sub content ✩ eye contact ✩ beat-up before sex ✩ opinion on orgasm denial ✩ flirting tactics ✩ sparring sex ✩ rainbow kiss ✩ fucks like he’s not pretty ✩ smut alphabet: A - B ✩ babydaddy!anakin ✩ dick headcanons ✩ ex-bf!

smut ¡! ❞

✩ kinks | part two ✩ pornstar au

other ¡! ❞

✩ toxic ✩ petnames

── additional content ┆ MISC.

✩ nametag ✩ thoughts ✩ prompts

彡 ch: anakin skywalker x padmé amidala 「 � 」

── one shots ┆ OVER 1K.

smut ¡! ❞

✩ just bad, bad decisions | SUMMARY: having officially broken it off because of anakin’s stupid mistake, anakin and padmé have not seen each other since. when they lock eyes during a football game they both attend, they find their way back to each other during the game. and set aside their differences to reconnect under the bleachers.

── drabbles ┆ ABOUT 1K OR LESS.

smutty ¡! ❞

✩ mad ✩ sacred heart

── additional content ┆ MISC.

✩ nametag

彡 ch: anakin skywalker x riyo chuchi 「 � 」

── drabbles ┆ ABOUT 1K OR LESS.

other ¡! ❞

✩ eclipse ✩ i do

── additional content ┆ MISC.

✩ nametag

彡 ch: anakin skywalker x zena daren 「 � 」

── drabbles ┆ ABOUT 1K OR LESS.

smutty ¡! ❞

✩ interview

── additional content ┆ MISC.

✩ nametag

NAVI | M.LIST | RULES | FAQ

[anakinsgirlfriendreal]

Parts Of The Truth

Masterlist

Chapter nine

Warnings: foul language, infidelity, mature discussions.

You laid in bed, mulling over your discussion with Padme and Ahsoka earlier. The silence of the empty house encouraging your torturous thoughts, Darcy was at your mother's and your sister was shacking up with her sponsor no surprise there but at least she's staying clean.

The sound of the front door opening brings you back to reality, it's Anakin. You sigh, you weren't ready to discuss any of this with him yet, you had honestly planned to hold off as long as possible in hopes your problems may well just evaporate.

You listen, soft footsteps treading closer up the stairs, makes you roll over closing your eyes. You squeeze your eyes shut when you feel the bed dip. He presses a soft kiss to your cheek.

"I know you're awake, you liar."

You smile rolling over, to look up at him. "What are doing here? You should be with your wife."

"I'd rather be here," he kisses your lips and you can smell the liquor on his lips. You grab his face.

"Have you been drinking?"

He sighs, "I'm a grown man I'm allowed a drink"

You look at him, his face highlighted in the darkness by the shining moon. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, I promise." He kisses your neck, hand fumbling with the buttons on your night shirt he plants kisses on your breasts, shifting down to rest his head on your stomach, one hand squeezing your boob, like a toddler.

Your hand plays in his hair, he sighs in content when your fingers massage his scalp, you feel the tension in the air, you can't hold it in anymore.

"I'm pregnant," you blurt out.

"I'm leaving Padme" he says quickly.

"What?" You both speak in unison.

"You're leaving her?"

"That marriage was over a long time ago, you're pregnant? Are you sure? Oh baby this is amazing" he smiles, hovering over you.

"What no it's not. It's not amazing, I don't want another baby, we can't have another baby and you can't leave your wife are you crazy."

"Why not? I wanna be with you not her. I wanna raise Darcy with you, watch her have her first day of school and then have matching hearts attacks when she brings her first boyfriend home, I wanna wake up to your face every morning-"

"stop"

"I wanna grow old and watch the sunset with you, I wanna kiss you every night before bed, so you know how much I love you. I wanna look at you when you read your books and watch you make that cute little confused face, I wanna feel my heart speed up a bit and my breath hitch every time I hear your laugh. That's what I want for the rest of my life. And that scent, god that scent," his head dips to your neck inhaling like it's the last thing he'll ever do, "I wanna smell that scent until I'm sick of it, so sweet and pure. You consume me."

"Anakin-"

"No listen, You are the woman that has given a child, you've given me hope and happiness, that I haven't felt in years. I love you, purely and truthfully, you are my every thought, and I don't want to be married anymore unless it's to you. I want you and I want Darcy, and I want this baby," his hand caresses your stomach. "I want the family- the family that you've given me, the family that I've dreamed about."

You're quiet for a moment, your hands caress his face, "You can't leave your wife. You love your wife, you had to love her that's why you married her"

"It was a mistake"

"Anakin, you don't love me, you think you do but you don't, you'll leave Padme and then in a few years you'll be bored of me, I'll have had two kids, so I'll get fat and I'll be tired all the time and I won't wash my hair. I won't have time to read and I'll be nagging at you to put your socks in the washer and then you'll regret it. You'll wish you'd stayed with her because- because you'll realize that this isn't the life you want and you'll hate me. I don't want you to hate me." You didn't even realize you were crying.

"I could never hate you, I could never" he kisses your tear stained cheeks.

"You're so beautiful, you're strong willed and you're intelligent and ambitious, you're an amazing mother. I didn't want it to get so far, between you and I there was supposed to be no Darcy no attachments, just sex but-" he swallows. "You make it so hard to not love you." He lowers his face to yours, still hovering over you. Your lip brushing slightly. "You are the bane of my existence and the object of all my desires, you are my heart outside my body and I cannot stop myself..." His worlds trail off and he kisses you, deep and passionate, like a man starved. He rests his forehead against yours.

"Please, offer me the opportunity to tell my wife, give me the chance to take care of you and our daughter, our baby" his hand rests on your stomach. "I am only a man begging a woman to let him love her, please don't deny me" he kisses your jaw.

You are at a loss, unable to respond to him. You loved him deeply, truly you did but this was confusing; he was confusing. You close your eyes preparing to make the hard decision.

"I can't be with you Anakin." Your voice is soft, your eyes shut when his tear falls onto your cheek. "I'm sorry"

He rolls off you, onto his back, pulling you close so your head rests on his chest. "What will we do?" He asks.

"I don't know"

You sat in the waiting room fiddling with your fingers, leg nervously tapping against the tiled, your head shoots up when your name is called.

You stared nervously at the doctor, she offers you a kind smile, "is this your first time?" You nod.

"Okay, don't worry. You feel anything, and it'll be over in no time" she assures you. You take a deep breath.

It had been a couple weeks since you'd ended things with Anakin, he still came by to see Darcy, and you kept things civil. He'd told you that he was still gonna go ahead with the divorce which you'd tried to steer him against but to no avail. Things felt calmer now, you'd terminated the pregnancy, you still had your job, you were no longer stabbing your friend in the back except for the whole ass child you had with her husband but compared to your usual, things were finally going your way.

Until they weren't.

You were looking over files with one of Anakin's clients who had asked for your assistance when the quick and furious tapping of heels broke your focus, you looked up to see Padme approaching you, absolutely fuming.

"Padm-" she slaps you across the face, embarrassing you in front of an entire flat of employees.

"Don't Padme me you whore. You're not my friend you can call me Mrs. Skywalker" her words stun you but you understood her anger. He'd told her. "Hurts doesn't it? 'Mrs' something you had no chance of being"

"Padme let's not do this here"

"Oh no please let's."

You try to push her out into the street so you can speak somewhere where people weren't batting their ears in your business but she wouldn't let you.

"How could you do this, after everything. After what I told you" she breaks down, falling against you, you sit her down on the couch in the lobby, and she tries to calm herself.

"I'm so sorry Padme"

"Oh God that scent, the- the roses and the ocean God how did I not smell that before, I'm so stupid"

"Padme-"

"Shut up, he told me. He told me everything and I yelled and I cried and I screamed and I promised myself that I wouldn't do that here. That I'd be civil because- because I'm not the type to blame the woman but now I wanna her it from you. I wanna hear it all" she nods looking at you.

You take a deep breath hoping it'll help your lungs from caving in. "Okay"

[antianakin]

I keep seeing this frustrating post about how Anakin wouldn't have fallen if the Jedi made him a Creche Master because "babies need attachments!" No. Babies need support and love. Anakin would have SUCKED as a Creche Master. Because the Younglings would LEAVE. I have a feeling he would have sabotaged as many as he could get away with to keep them with him. Because he STILL has the flaw, he believes people belong to him. Not to themselves. He MAYBE wouldn't have killed ALL the Younglings. But he would have taken them to be raised as Darksiders and in Sith teachings so is that really better then death?

Sure I giggle about Creche Master Anakin as an AU. But when people start insisting it's the RIGHT PATH... yeah no. Those kids would have been miserable.

I've definitely seen posts about how the Jedi were terrible people for "forcing" Anakin to be a soldier instead of allowing him to be a Creche Master, as if Anakin wasn't saying from DAY ONE that he wanted to be a Jedi because he wanted to be a big hero who came back to free the slaves. That's not the kind of work a Creche Master does and the kind of work a Creche Master does doesn't seem like something Anakin would be too terribly interested in.

He reacts pretty negatively to being handed a teenaged Padawan and tells her not to "slow him down," so I don't really see him being particularly patient with little kids, personally, or happy to just sit around being nurturing and cleaning up messes and providing enrichment and dealing with temper tantrums. He'd HATE IT. He's honestly TERRIBLE as a teacher to Ahsoka, too. His early attempts at bonding with her suck, his idea of helping Ahsoka overcome a massive fuck-up that caused several people to die is to put himself in danger and force her to be the only leader in charge and if she fails, they literally all die, and he offers her zero support in that. He's late to what appears to be an important Jedi test and when she does well, he doesn't praise her at all and instead tells her that the test is inadequate. And of course the training he ends up giving her involves shocking her into unconsciousness in an unsafe environment for hours upon hours. When Ahsoka ultimately decides to leave the Jedi, his pleas for her to come back are all about HIMSELF and he practically accuses her of being an idiot for refusing to stay.

Nothing about his one relationship with a child in his care really ever shows that he'd be GOOD at handling children as his JOB. Or that he'd even WANT to. And like a lot of people have been saying about going into jobs like that in real life or about becoming a parent, this is the kind of thing you really should feel 100% committed to before making that choice.

I don't think Anakin would've intentionally sabotaged the Order by trying to make its children leave. He does obviously somewhat unintentionally encourage a mistrust of the Council and a judgment of the Order with Ahsoka, but he never wants her to leave. Like I said earlier, he actively insists that she has to come back to the Order when she tries to leave and makes her choice all about himself. He gets accusatory and tells her she CAN'T just throw this life away even though she's already said she feels like she can't trust herself right now. Anakin refuses to leave the Order himself, he doesn't really want to because he does want the things that come with it, he just doesn't tend to like Jedi teachings or the limitations that ALSO come with being a Jedi. He wants to have all of the positives of being a Jedi and none of what he'd consider negatives. So even if we pretend Anakin might've been willing to become a creche master of some kind, I don't see him intentionally sabotaging them. I don't think he even realizes he's doing that to Ahsoka at all, he's completely shocked when she runs during the Wrong Jedi arc and when she leaves at the end.

But I do think he'd have a negative impact on the kids, I do think he'd end up possessive of them. I think he'd probably play favorites and be overly harsh when having to deal with discipline or just actively neglectful towards some of them. I think Anakin would be constantly frustrated and annoyed by the kids if they weren't acting the exact way he wanted them to. I think he'd have a hard time trying to connect to them and would desperately want to pass them off onto someone else to deal with the worst problems. The concept of Anakin stealing some of those favorites during Order 66 to raise them as Sith or Inquisitors of some kind is absolutely devastating.

This is also why I giggle at those silly little board books about Darth Vader the father with baby Luke and Leia, but also like holy shit the concept of Luke and Leia being raised by Anakin, especially once he's chosen to be Vader, is HORRIFYING as a concept. It would NOT be this cute sweet little thing, Luke and Leia would be so fucking miserable and they'd probably both turn out really badly as a result of such a terrible upbringing.

I don't think anything in ROTS really indicates he wants kids, either. His reaction to Padme's revelation that she's pregnant doesn't exactly scream excited or happy and he never really shows any interest in the baby or their future as a family the way Padme does. Padme will wax poetic about how she wants to raise the baby on Naboo and Anakin's response is "you look so beautiful." He'll have a nightmare about Padme dying in childbirth and Padme has to literally prompt him to consider whether the baby survived or not. Palpatine gets him to turn on Windu by saying "I can help you save the ONE you love." What he yells at Obi-Wan on Mustafar is "You will not take HER from me" rather than "THEM." When he wakes up from surgery, he ONLY asks about Padme and not whether the baby survived. At no point does he ever genuinely seem to give a shit about the baby at all or show any indication that he WANTS to have kids. He doesn't fantasize about their future together as a family, he isn't brainstorming names with her, he isn't worried about how to raise a baby in secret.

And obviously the desire for children of your own is not the same as the desire to be a teacher, but I feel like the crechemasters are RAISING those kids, they're not just a daycare worker who passes them back to their real parents at the end of the day. So if Anakin doesn't even show any interest in raising his own biological children in canon, I don't see that he'd have any interest in raising the Jedi children. And it certainly wouldn't save him from going dark. It just means he's on planet more often and so probably spends even MORE time with Palpatine which means he might actually become a Sith even SOONER.

Even in the nicest possible AU where Anakin gets raised by the Jedi from a much earlier age and has no real issues with authority or attachments the way he does in canon, and he isn't influenced by Palpatine at all and genuinely does love being a Jedi etc etc, I don't see his personality as being someone who would be satisfied just being a Creche master. I feel like he'd still want something more thrilling than that, something that allowed him to go out and travel and do "bigger" stuff. I think he'd likely be a better teacher in general, he might be fine coming by the Creche once in a while to interact with the kids, and he'd be a lot better with his own padawan, but a Creche master as a career? Eh, I don't see it. Maybe once he starts getting really old and feels like switching things up a bit. We know through High Republic that this is an option the Jedi can take, they can move away from rougher field work and take up slower positions if they feel like they need to for one reason or another. So sure, maybe in the nicest possible AU, Anakin might one day in his twilight years decide to slow down enough to be a Creche master. But that's probably the only way I can see it actually happening.

[tennessoui]

omg time traveler ahsoka au! she gets obi-wan to leave the order for satine in the hopes that he’d be weird with someone else but anakin gets sent on a mission to mandalore and wow there’s this handsome duke he has to look after. what a shame he’s married and definitely wouldn’t leave his wife for this jedi he feels immediately weird about

hmmmmmmm this is one of Ahsoka’s closest attempts because obi-wan’s personal sense of loyalty wouldn’t let him cheat on his wife, and he’s spent so long building a family and a life on Mandalore that he would never toss it aside to be romantically involved with a kid (read: 22yo) that he doesn’t even know even though he feels a very strong pull towards him….obi-wan is adept at lying to himself

It gets easier to lie to himself when he realizes that Skywalker is also married, though secretly…..it offends part of Kenobi, but that’s just because Skywalker is making a mockery of the Jedi order with his secret marriage!! Kenobi is no longer a Jedi of course but he still has great respect for the Order!!!

That’s the only reason he feels so strange when he thinks of Skywalker’s marriage even long after Skywalker and the senator he was guarding as she came to a celebratory feast on Mandalore leave again.

(Ahsoka tenses on her reset button as anakin makes his way back to mandalore a few months later, but they’re being….normal…this anakin requests to study ancient mandalorian and Jedi texts that are housed in the capital city and it’s weird because he’s never really cared about history but he’s being very…respectful….and master obi-wan is also being very respectful if a little stand offish….he accompanied him down to read the texts and they spend hours down there together but as far as Ahsoka can tell there is nothing inappropriate happening —she has gotten very good at telling when something inappropriate is happening between her old masters—they really are just…talking and reading and they’re being…sort of weird…but sort of normal….it’s the closest they’ve come to the original timeline in fact…Ahsoka relaxes on her reset button)

War breaks out anyway of course and obi-wan lasts only a month or so after anakin is pulled to the front lines before donning an old beat up and anonymous suit of mandalorian armor and flying to fight with him. The Duchess of Mandalore offers no comment. The official story is that her husband is sick in bed from a nasty case of Flafu flu. No one knows that it’s the Duke of mandalore in the red armor, supporting Skywalker’s troops.

Ahsoka wonders if Anakin knows, up until the moment some droid gets a lucky shot in and obi-wan goes down on the battlefield and anakin levels an entire field of droids to get to him looking half out of his mind with worry and rage….then she knows he knows and maybe that he’s always known

She’s tensed up over the reset button again, but after obi-wan’s been seen to by the medic, anakin sends him back to his wife on mandalore and, miraculously, after 2 years fighting to be by anakin’s side, obi-wan…stays, but he looks so beaten down over it, so without half his heart, like he’s suddenly aged 20 years and lived in a desert for all of them. But he stays.

The war ends eventually and the Jedi triumph. Ten years later, leia runs through Anakin’s study with an old red helmet over her head as Luke runs after her, playing war. anakin gently takes it off her and sets her on the ground. He cradles the helmet though in battle worn hands, but thankfully before either of them can ask, padmes speeder arrives and they shoot off to go welcome their mom home - anakin stays for a second longer, just staring at the helmet with such a naked expression of wistfulness longing heartbreak and acceptance that Ahsoka almost wants to turn away. Before she does she sees anakin touch his forehead to the helmet’s once before rising and putting it away, turning instead to go greet his wife

and it leaves Ahsoka with such a WEIRD feeling in her own heart that she’s pressing the reset button before she can think it through because she wants them to be apart and she wants the Jedi to win the war and everyone to get their happy endings but…but not like this…not if they’re not happy….she gets 1 reset where she gets to be selfish ok she’s gone through thousands now probably.