#but she’s the good guy lawyer fighting against the cops

[disco-tic-wonderland]

Personal beef with one aspect of the game only: confused why the game seems to want you to gain Titus’ approval. It threw me for a loop when you’re given the option to invite him to be a cop.

This guy and his whole posse cold blood murder Harry and Kim both just for interrogating them. They admit to letting the pretty women go for crimes. They almost start a war because Titus has a thing for Klassje.

Like?? And I’m supposed to invite this dude to kick it with my organization? Hell no! I almost didn’t shake his hand, but thought it would be needlessly impolite in the circumstance. I think that guy is a loose canon.

I have a hard time reconciling the way Harry seems a little…fond? of him at the end.

Love to hear some other takes on this.

[noonaishere]

Online/Offline [C.S] - eighty-nine | the walk home

Three hours later you had filed charges against Byungchul and San had called a lawyer he knew who arrived with some colleagues to be with you while you all gave testimonies. 

Seonghwa and Minsoo arrived to drop off the CCTV evidence from the café, and you handed over the evidence from the microphone, the evidence of his banned account and videos, and the printouts of the online evidence Quack had sent with a courier, in addition to what her hacker friend had procured from the owners of the restaurants whose CCTV cameras you had been captured on the night he chased you and San downtown. She had included written permission from the owners as well as a list of timestamps, for when they would inevitably check. 

With Seonghwa and Minsoo having gone back to his place earlier, you and San walked out of the police building to find Wooyoung and Yunho waiting outside for you after giving their eyewitness accounts of everything that led up to the fight the police saw. The four of you walked back to San and Yunho’s apartment to relax after everything that had happened.

“So, is your lawyer friend staying there to work with the police or something?” You asked San.

“Her team will probably talk to them a little more. Then start constructing a case against him. We might have to bring Quack in to testify.”

You nodded. “I’m sure she already imagined it would have to happen. I’ll let her know tomorrow.”

“I’ll give her number to my lawyer.”

“‘My lawyer?’” You laughed.

“What?”

“You sound like such a cool guy, ‘My lawyer.’” You imitated him.

He poked you in the side. 

You giggled.

“While you were in the bathroom before we left, she said she wants us both to press charges. There's enough evidence for both battery and stalking charges. I think she’s still trying to figure out what to call the time he chased us.”

“‘Stalking But Faster’?”

He chuckled. “Maybe.”

“What about the shit he did online?”

“She’s going to look into it. Criminal charges are a little out of her wheelhouse, but she has a good team.”

“I think it should be cyberstalking… the bot farm definitely isn't going to look good.”

“I can't believe Quack managed to get a list of every sock he had.”

“That was such a waste of paper.”

“Made a good point though.”

You chuckled.

The four of you walked in silence for a few moments.

“Why didn’t you ask me to go with you?” He asked.

“Well…”

“No offense to Yunho and Wooyoung--”

Wooyoung turned. “I’m offended.”

San shot him a look.

Yunho laughed as Wooyoung turned back around.

“No offense to them, but I’m the only one who’s been trained to fight.”

“Would you have stopped me?”

“I…” his face softened as he looked at you. “I would have tried.”

You nodded. “That’s why.”

He sighed. “I know that… but what if you had gotten hurt? What if he hurt more than your arm?”

You looked down at your arm. The cops had taken pictures at the station and you couldn’t really see anything yet, but the spot where Byungchul had grabbed you was just hinting at the beginnings of turning from red to purple. You’d have to take pictures again tomorrow and send them to the lawyers.

“He already has,” you laughed angrily. “I had more than one breakdown because of him, you had to change my schedule at work for me, he chased us around, he’s the main reason I even moved here in the first place… I’ve already been hurt by him.”

“I mean physically. What if he--” 

You turned to him.

He choked up, unable to finish the sentence.

“That’s why I had Wooyoung and Yunho with me. And Quack was in the wings, watching me.”

“And she called me.”

You nodded.

“Are you-- are you mad at her for that?”

“Not at all. She made the right call.”

“So why not have me there the whole time?”

“San…” you started. “You heard the audio I took. And I saw the look on your face as you were listening to it… If you were there the whole time, do you think you could have stood still while I got the evidence? Do you think you could have waited?”

He turned to you, pained.

“You saw the CCTV of me talking to him. Could you have watched from far away while I talked to him, knowing he had chased us down?”

“...No.”

You nodded. “Yeah. I know. I needed to talk to him for as long as possible; lull him into a false sense of security so I could get him to admit the truth. You would have jumped in to save me too soon.”

He considered this for a few moments. You weren’t trying to scold him, perhaps you should praise him a little to let him know that he really did the right thing.

"When you pushed me back, all I could imagine was some Twilight shit where I ended up with a broken arm." You chuckled.

He laughed a singular loud laugh. "I saw Wooyoung and Yunho running up behind you."

"Oh, you did?" 

"When I was running towards you and I saw his hands on you, looking like he was about to drag you somewhere… all I could think was getting you away from him so he couldn't. I hoped Yunho would catch you when I shoved you at him, and I’m glad he did.”

Yunho spun around and bowed deeply like a performer before he turned back around to his conversation with Wooyoung.

The two of you laughed.

"Ahh, I thought you were just throwing me somewhere."

He laughed quietly. "No. It may have been a plan I made in the five seconds before I reached you, but it was still a plan."

You smiled and both of you went back to walking in awkward silence. Maybe you should point out something else that was good about it, like how cool he was when he was grappling Byungchul before the cops broke them up. He inhaled again and you turned to him.

“If I had known--”

“--You wouldn’t have let me do something so dangerous?”

He sighed and nodded.

“I know. It’s nothing against you San. Really it isn’t. It’s just that… I needed to do this and I know you would have stopped it.”

He looked at the ground as you walked.

“Are you mad?”

He looked up “At you?” He looked at you for a few moments, smiling sadly. “Of course not. I’m mad at him… It’s just--”

“If the cops took us seriously the first fucking time I wouldn’t have had to do their job for them. So like - if anything - blame the system, not me.”

“Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me” Wooyoung sang cutely as you walked.

You chuckled at his aegyo version of the song.

San exhaled a laugh at him. “Fine. I believe you.” 

You nodded. “Thank you.”

You walked in silence for a few minutes.

“But…”

He looked at you.

“I am happy that Quack told you. And I am extremely glad that you got there when you did.”

San smiled. “Me too… as your fake boyfriend, I couldn’t forgive myself if you got hurt.”

“Fake ex-boyfriend.”

He laughed softly.

   previous | main cast | masterlist | next

a/n: I’ll admit, I saw that selfie when I was working on this fic and was like “well now I NEED to use it” lol. How are we feeling?

Send an ask or leave a comment if you want to be added to the tag list! 🧋 Any comments, reblogs, or asks are appreciated! I love talking with you guys and seeing what you’re saying about the chapters, it keeps me going 🥰

@rachs-words • @stayatinykatsy • @dinossaurz​​ • @conwunder​ • @tinyelfperson​ • @anythingrelatingtojinyoung​ •

[mliter]

Juri Han.

"Juri... That power... That eye... She's no ordinary fighter. She is an untamed animal who seeks to destroy and consume all that enters her sight...She has altered her own body in her insatiable quest for power. She respects no law. No morality. She does whatever it takes to achieve her goals and quench her limitless thirst."

—Seth's description of Juri

Introduced in 2011's Super Street Fighter IV, she was sold as a darker parallel of Chun Li. She's quickly become a favorite of the fanbase, and myself personally. There is something strangely compelling about her and her story. A lot of people don't really care about it so i'll go into it! On my blog!

While you are familiar with the Juri you see in game, she wasn't always like that. Juri Han was the daughter to a loving mother and father. The latter being a prominent lawyer knee deep into a developing case against shadaloo. M. Bison didn't take this lightly. So one fateful night, he ordered them killed. They took her father, and left both her and her mother for dead. Young Juri lost her eye to the hail of bullets.

As she recovered, and after her father was executed on live television, she focused her remaining eye on one thing. Revenge against M. Bison. She became much colder and crueler throughout the process. Later in Street Fighter IV, she would join S.I.N, and claim the Feng Shui Engine. A powerful device that amplifies her physical abilities to superhuman levels.

Similar to Ryu, Juri seeks battle. But unlike him, she does it for much more selfish reasons. She is extremely sadistic, deriving joy from causing others pain through fighting. She enjoys fighting so much to the point where she is offended when denied it. With a short temper and a questionable mental state, that's not a good thing to be around. She's also very cunning as she is morally grey. She dips in between heroics and villain behavior from time to time. The ying/yang symbol behind the character makes more sense now, no?

Street Fighter V's story actually progressed the story and world to the point where shadaloo falls, with M. Bison's death. Before this, she attempted to fight M. Bison and lost. He even ripped out her eye (Feng Shui Engine) and left her for dead. She survived, and found herself a weaker version of the engine, implanting it herself (ow?). In a Shadow Falls she doesn't really do much. She serves as a side character mostly. Assisting the good guys because it'll bring Bison down. Ryu is the one to eventually defeat M. Bison. Not Juri. You can tell that she's weaker then on due to her abilities appearing grey in 5 and 6.

In 6, her parallel to Chun Li takes the most importance. Chun Li has found complete peace with Bison's death. She wears brighter colors, took some time off from being a cop and is found teaching her local community. Her peace is reflected in her design and writing. She's made it! Juri? At this point, with nothing to do, she... doesn't do much. She's always on her phone, uses her feet for everything cause she's lazy, and eats a lot of junk food. Without a goal she's been loafing around, causing trouble whenever she gets the chance. It's very sad to see. She's allowed her quest for revenge to consume her completely, and now that Bison is gone, she doesn't have much left.

At the end of both of their arcade stories, Chun Li says that she is one of Bison's victims too. This gets through to her, angers her, and the two end up fighting.

At this point in the story, Juri is at another crossroads. It's like we're watching her slowly die from the inside. She has opportunity to turn her life around, and it looks like we're finally on the cusp of that, but she can continue to slip further and further into depravity. It's all up to her (& the writers).

Now that you know this, you can get that all of her cruelty and snarkiness is how she copes with what she truly is within. A mess. The development team for Street Fighter IV wanted to make an evil sexy character that stuck out from the rest and ended up making one of the most compelling & tragic characters i've seen from a fighting game. She's one of my favorites, and i hope to see things look up for her at some point. Whatever that looks like to her.

[toytulini]

Disclaimer im just processing some thoughts im not cancelling the show

have almost thoughts about how i find the like....narrative on here that if you have chronic "zebra" conditions youd want a doctor like House and wouldnt sue for malpractice bc at least youd have a doctor that cares about whats wrong with you but lets take it one step further. so often he does NOT give a shit about the patient and actively endangers them frequently with his god damn heoric era of medicine approach? non zero amount of times he gets a diagnosis but it comes too late, or he gets a diagnosis after their first wrong 3 guesses of the episode shut down the patients kidneys and they either have to get a transplant or they are just, doomed due to other preexisting conditions etc? idk. i know ppl are almost certainly exaggerating and just letting off steam about the very real failures of our current medical systems and the ableism baked in and All That Shit. i just think its weird how ppl romanticize House who STILL, FREQUENTLY, MULTIPLE EPISODES will actively dismiss shit in the exact way that is a problem in our current system, especially when hes being Forced Against His Will To See Clinic Parients, he loves to be dismissive as fuck of symptoms and if he was a real doctor i think he'd be fucking 50/50 on cases he Notices Something To Dig Into vs cases he dismisses as an Anxious Hysterical Woman Who Wants Attention, the only reason he's Right so frequently in his snap judgements is cos it reinforces the narrative. its like a crime drama that has the mastermind serial killer masterfully using "loopholes" and lawyering up all sneaky and dodging Justice and if only our poor little cop protags were allowed to do A TEENY BIT of Justified Police Brutality, they could Save Lives!

and like sometimes in the show they will have a patient die despite his efforts to narratively punish him. not to mention, i think its been at least mildly brought up and glossed over how much they absolutely do not think about insurance costs for these ppl for the insane amount of tests that find nothing and Wrong Medications To Force A Diagnosis they use? i think it was brought up once in the episode following a day in the life of cuddy where she had to fight a lawsuit bc a guys insurance like didnt cover his thumb being reattached but chase reattached it anyway while in surgery cos it was The Right Thing To Do and the guy didnt have the money to cover it and the insurance wouldnt pay unless he sued the hospital or whatever. thats like the only time its come up. whereas like frequently the doctor I go to for osteopathic manipulation tries to check in with me and make sure im covered by insurance etc and that im not going to go broke or get buried in medical debt seeing her.

idk. just some Thoughts. not a defense of our current system and all the flaws it enables and enforces etc. his approach to medicine is really reminiscent to me of what I know of the Heroic Era Of Medicine which i dont...love? and hes framed on here as being an asshole but would kill for his patients to get them a diagnosis etc. but hes definitely extremely paternalistic to patients ? and despite some good clippable lines about ableism and being against eugenics, it honestly feels like his stance on that is kind of a toss up.

[heckinconfusedparade]

Part 4: Have You Seen My Hedgehog??

It’s Tails’ turn to visit Shadow. Not because he wants to talk, but because Amy said they should probably feed him. Shadow is just sitting, tapping his fingers on the metal top of the table. He stopped trying to lift it up. It’s far too heavy for him.

His attention is directed to the opening door. He hadn’t realized how small Tails was before. Tails places a plate of food in front of him. Shadow gets a forkful of his meal “thank you..”

Tails only lets out an “mmn.” In response. He starts heading for the exit, when Shadow calls out “hey, wait. I have a question.” Tails turns around silently.

“How old are you?”

Tails is taken off guard. “Hm?”

“You look.. fairly young.”

“I’m 8.”

Shadow blinks “you’re- you’re 8???”

Tails nods “Mhm”

Shadow is shocked, almost appalled. He mutters to himself “the doctor spoke of the fox with such… astonishment, yet hostility.. like a rival.. Why is Robotnik so hellbent on destroying a child he considers a prodigy?..” he wonders. Can’t they just simply learn and grow off each other? If Tails is as gifted as Robotnik says, wouldn’t teaming up be a better option?

Shadow stares down at his plate.. now that Knuckles had mentioned it.. the red flags he was warned about are waving frantically for his attention. Tails gives him a dirty look and leaves.

As Shadow eats, he wonders why nobody has come looking for him yet. Robotnik would have surely noticed he’s missing by now..

To his surprise, Tails returns, this time looking annoyed. He frees Shadow from his cuffs “dad wants these back for his shift.” He says then mutters “can’t you just get new ones??” He quickly leaves, and presses a few buttons outside the door. The door slams shut and “PRISONER MODE: ENGAGED” can be heard throughout the treehouse. Ain’t no way this hedgehog gonna escape.

Shadow does some stretches, stiff from being in one place so long. He decides to investigate the room for an exit.

What he doesn’t know is that the cell is Sonic and Knuckles proof. That was the standards Tails had built it to in order to keep the prisoner IN. Originally it was meant for Robotnik, or a fun game of Cops N Robbers.

These new people are certainly interesting.. two of four treated him with kindness. Even Sonic, the guy he was supposed to destroy. Sonic didn’t seem to have any feelings of anger towards him. Not that he’s showing, Anyway. Shadow takes Knuckles’ warnings into consideration. Amy and Tails bring only questions. Amy was not mentioned by Robotnik, and Tails is much younger than he expected him to be, and he is not comfortable fighting a literal child.

Meanwhile, Robotnik is trying to pinpoint where the heck his hedgehog went. He is this close to putting up MISSING flyers. He’s been both on his computer and pacing by the door. He shouts in anger “WHERE IS HE?? He should be back by now. I can’t go over there myself…” idea! “STONE!! get in your disguise. I have a mission for you.”

The doorbell of the Wachowski house rings around noon. Maddie answers. In the door stands a man dressed in a G.U.N. uniform. She begins to shut the door, when the man stops her “ma’am I would just like to speak with you about recent accusations against your…son.” Stone can’t believe the blue blur got himself adopted.

Maddie glares at him “I’m not going to speak with you, nor is anyone else in this house until we have our lawyer here.” She slams the door shut. Stone sighs. This is gonna be harder than he thought.

He looks around the yard and spots the treehouse. He scans it, but the readings come back as a normal treehouse. Stone checks it out anyway, because he is aware of the little genius that resides in the household. As he gets closer, he notices some security measures. There’s security cameras, a lock pad, a ring doorbell, and even a sign that says NO ADULTS ALLOWED.

He sends all data to Robotnik for further inspection. Something is off about this little treehouse.

Sonic is hiding. He’s very good at hiding. He takes a picture of Stone’s face. He adds the photo of his list of people to avoid.

He shows his brothers, parents, and Amy the picture. They all have the same feeling of deja vu like they’ve seen him before.

Robotnik is not very happy with Stone’s initial update. Then he receives the data. As he digs deeper and deeper, he discovers there much more to this treehouse than meets the eye. Whoever built it took good care to hide as much secrets as possible, and Robotnik wants to upturn every stone. As much as he would love to go there himself, he doesn’t want to run the risk of another 3 vs 1 situation. Stones not a fighter.. that he knows of.

Stone gets a motel in Green Hills. It’s been decided they’ll wait another day for any new sign.

Shadow receives his dinner from Sonic in the evening. Tails has refused this time. He places Shadows food on the table. Shadow hardly acknowledges Sonics existence, as he is ping ponging around the room. Sonic has done this himself to test the strength of the walls, but actually getting to witness it is quite neat! And a little freaky with how fast Shadow is going.

“Hey! Dude! Calm down, dinners ready.” Sonic says, hands on his hips. Shadow stops, looks at Sonic, and goes to his table to eat. “Why are you giving me the silent treatment?” Sonic asks, a little sad.

“I have nothing to say.” Shadow responds “you’ve trapped me in a dark metal box with no escape. Why do you have this thing here anyway?”

“Oh! It was originally built just in case Eggman is still alive and shows his bald head and freaky moustache around here again. Just to hold him until we get someone to get him.”

“..Eggman?”

“Eggman is what I call Robotnik.

Shadow wonders for a moment.. then tries to hide a small amused grin “..he does look like an egg.”

Sonic laughs and lets Shadow finish his meal. He then remembers “oh right! There was this guy snooping around our yard. You don’t happen to recognize him do you?” Sonic shows Shadow the photo he took. Shadows eyes widen “..that’s Dr. Stone. He’s Egg-…Robotniks assistant.”

Silence. Sonics heart has dropped. Shadow sighs “you should let me go. But if you want to die at the hands of brilliance, you be my guest.”

Sonic stands up “I’ll talk to the others..” he leaves Shadow to finish his meal and drink. Shadow balls up in the corner of the room to take a nap.

Sonic finds the others and gathers them in the living room.

“Everyone, we need to have a talk. Remember that guy that came by today? I showed a picture of him to Shadow, and he says that the man is Dr. Stone, which means Robuttnik is trying to find him. He wants to know if we can let him go, to spare us whatever Eggmans got coming. I.. I wanted to know what the rest of you think.” The others think on Sonics words.

On one hand, if they let Shadow go, he could lead Robotnik back or, because he knows where they are, tell Robotnik about any secrets.

On the other, if they don’t fork the hog over, someone’s gonna get hurt.

Ultimately they decide to let Shadow go.

Shadow and Sonic race back to San Francisco.

They make it there at the same time. Sonic cheers “I win!” Shadow scowls “no you didn’t, hedgehog. I won.”

Sonic sticks his tongue out childishly “nuh uh!” Shadow rolls his eyes back playfully “yeah huh!” And suddenly he freezes.

. . .

“Maria! You ate my chips!”

“Nuh uh!”

“Yeah huh!”

“You literally have the bag in your hand.”

“I didn’t see your name on the bag, Shadow!”

“Fine then. I’m eating your cookies.”

“NOOOO-“

. . .

Shadow comes back to present time to Sonic waving his hand in front of his face “hellooooo? Shadow, you there? Earth to Shaaaadz”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Oh you’re back! What was that, dude?”

Shadow avoids eye contact. Frankly, he doesn’t know what that was. But.. it gave him a warm fuzzy feeling of familiarity. Whoever this Maria was, she was important to him.

“None of your business… and next time, I’m beating you. Til we meet again, Sonic the Hedgehog.” Shadow turns his back and starts to walk away.

Sonic waves “bye Shadoooow!” And off he zooms to get home.

[nathank77]

5/29/24

6:41 p.m

I kinda knew he was going to find me in the aisle he has done that before. And i saw steve before I saw the asshole. So I kinda knew I was making my bed. But I didn't want to go to Walmart another day this week to avoid the asshole...

I'm done with this. I need to buy my food and I'll figure out a way to get media attention about discrimination. Do you know how many times I've seen customers open packages? Look at the product and then put it back undamaged? They don't get yelled at or singled out or harassed or followed around. I didn't until this guy had it out for me..

I have good photos and I make a good case. The worst part is I can go to Walmart a few towns over hide in an aisle and get away with this for like 2 years at least before someone singles me out. But I don't want to inconvenience myself. I'm not scared of you losers. I could take your job and I just fucking might. And I'm going to keep buying waters there until security asks me to leave or a cop. Then I'll just leave... but until then. I'm fighting for my rights.

I disrespected his authority bc I'm being discriminated against and somehow I don't think he had the right to take my photo or ask me to leave. And if they don't have cameras. This is going to be a big stink for them. I mean why didn't security ask me to leave? Why didn't the cops come?

I'm going to email my doctor about the testosterone cause I'm worried about it. Hopefully she is just sick. Cause I have no voicemails or emails.

As for Walmart if I had the money i would start a lawsuit. I actually said I get that employees have unions but this guy has yelled at me over 10 times and followed me around the store. That's harassment. Yet I haven't stolen anything so what's he doing it for? Discrimination. That's the issue and it's 2024. Mental health awareness is a thing and I'm sure a lawyer would take my case pro Bono why? Cause Walmart is a multi-billion dollar company. And mental health Discrimination is a big deal. I got photos where can I upload my proof?

[the-firebird69]

Stone Cold DESTROYS Triple H #stonecold #tripleh #therock #randyorton #b...

That guy is going to call one of these dweeb lawyers holy s*** against one guy amazing

Zues Hera

I guess it means something if something happens because they're messing with your lady and you're not messing with her she's idiots and realize that but we plan to he said so what you're not going to make it and I'll kill your lawyer and then I'll kill you and you can watch your lawyer die and he says that and I seen these guys die a lot I've never seen so much death and so many penises and balls flying around we're messing with him in the wrong way at the wrong time and it's not working and we're not changing gears they're being grown to hell and yeah if you involve retards you get retard stuff back that's what it is

I'm the guy you with the microphone yelling at the girl

I can't believe this I'm playing that guy but it makes sense since my name and he says what's funnier is it's the whole name which is kind of cool cuz I'm going to look like you when you were actually big he says and I'm Stone Cold and it's true and that was big I don't know what the hell happened here and it's stupid because never been big Sergeant slaughter has never been big and is the biggest and it's in the movie as me which is good but s*** I'm teeny this is this freaking water and you can't get the damn stuff out without a chemical we tried a little and it works it was trying to get big and you can see it but s*** I've got his name and they're using me as an analogy and it's us it's kind of grinding my gears. They're triple h and I get it if they stop if they're stopped from going after Hera and they plan to then they put you in hell and he said they're dead I've killed everybody that goes near there using whatever I have to and also this is killed if you go after her if you go after are you going to lose your stuff and they're going to gain more bunkers and it's probably them in there nobody else can hold those things this is going to suck and I hate you people my own people naming me the stupid s*** Austin Powers it says he's like a baby but he's smart and a good guy and has a weird sense of humor because he's like a baby and it's not stupid he looks kind of odd and he's looking for things all the time I'm talking to people this damn distracting. I'll tell you what he's making skits in space he says we're in the same club we got the same name and we're not for Christ's sake lol and hulk Hogan is having the same problem so we're the good guys I guess it's good cock bad cop and that's what we're playing this s*** is out the windows are so damn dumb and we've had this idiot next door and he's smoking and stinking so damn bad it smells like death all the time we got to get him the hell out of there. So he's calling him Forrest dump while I'm walking out and says your name is really really odd so I looked at it and then I said please I triple h and they came back and said what the hell is that and I said yes you stupid jerks are playing out of play and they said oh s*** they apologize to her and said oh look your hair and she said well now you're all going to pay cuz I'm Hera And things are going on but okay

We had a fun time because we figured out the name stuff it goes back to the incident and it's like a fight and I see it too we can't help it either but s*** this is going to blow we're ahead of schedule we're not ready things are happening and coming up in a week or so it's going to really blow and I need it too we don't have time to talk about this s*** if he's going to bring something out that big we're going to hell no matter what we do and it's going to look like this a******

Stone Cold Steve Austin LOL hahaha and yeah that's the funniest thing I've ever heard

We got to do something and that's what we're going to do

Olympus

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 229

Dark Dynasty/Flatline

“Dark Dynasty”

Plot Description: a familiar tattoo leads the brothers deeper into the world of the Styne family, and Castiel plays referee between Charlie and Rowena

(The second half of that sentence interests me greatly)

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: I won’t even monetize my hobbies, I’m not gonna do shady medical studies where my eyes might get gouged out for a little bit of money

Stop yelling at her, Sam!! She’s trying to help you and you chained her up

The Styne family is so uninteresting to me. I hope they don’t have a lot of significance in future seasons

Sam, you are wholly unconvincing in your lying about where you’ve been sneaking off to.

And Dean randomly deciding to research the Stynes because he’s a little bored is just…too convenient

I FEEL Charlie’s exasperation with the brothers. The CONSTANT secret keeping and going against the other’s wishes. It’s a lot to deal with

You know…I think I would watch a show with the nerd, the witch, and the angel…

Sam knowing that Cas literally has nothing else going on right now. He doesn’t have to save or overthrow heaven, he’s not even allowed there

Oh Cas. Oh Cassyyyyy, “if I’m going to referee I should know the rules.” I love that even though he knows cultural references now, he still doesn’t get commonly used phrases

Cas didn’t know that Dean doesn’t know they’re doing this?? How many times does Sam need to be told that this won’t end well??

Charlie and Cas bffs 5ever

You can’t truly expect Rowena to be in this “for Dean.” She barely knows him, they’ve tried to kill each other, and all his friends have her locked in some abandoned warehouse

I’ve missed Crowley

How good are these security cameras? They’re not even this good on cop shows. There’s no way they should be able to get that clear of a visual of the guy’s tattoo after zooming in that much.

Castiel coming in with snacks while Rowena and Charlie snip at each other is quite comical….I take it back, they’re a little bit bonding. Once they get past the difference in aesthetics of their way of decoding things, there are some things in common after all

Well, Charlie doesn’t want to see the similarities, but that doesn’t make them nonexistent

It’s…weird when the boys are the least interesting part of an episode, but that’s chasing after the Styne family for ya

Sam, I’m so sorry for calling you an unconvincing liar. The real crown for that goes to Castiel. He calls Sam’s phone, Dean answers. He tells Dean that he’s just staying in touch…like he does. Then that this call is pointless and ends with “my ride’s here” and hangs up

Oof, now Dean’s suspicious…that can’t be good

SHE LEFT HER PET COVEN LEADER???

Why can Crowley talk to hamsters? How does that make sense? Is it because she’s really human underneath that?

You boys really don’t want to be messing with this Winchester, I promise you that

*presses pause* No…they can’t be doing this. Not even supernatural can do THIS (and I say this knowing there’s still a scooby doo episode in my future). So. This dude Dean captured, part of the Styne family. He just revealed that they’ve been harvesting organs and enhancing their own bodies (adding extra hearts and other organs and muscles) with said body parts. Turns out this family had to change their name a couple hundred years ago…in the 1800s. I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL SUE THE CW IF THEY ARE INSINUATING THAT THESE PEOPLE ARE THE FRANKENSTEIN FAMILY *presses play* I’M CALLING MY LAWYER (does not actually have a lawyer)

Oh nooooo oh no oh no oh no. While Sam is distracted with a phone call from Cas about Rowena and Charlie constantly fighting, Dean’s now found out that the Book of the Damned CAN’T be destroyed and is piecing together that Sam’s been lying to him this whoooooole time

I never saw 127 Hours…did the guy rip off his arm or leg in that? If arm, this Styne has 127 Hours’d himself out of the bunker’s dungeon. When he called each of his family members expendable, he meant it

Casssssss Cas Cas you can’t leave her in an unwarded room all by herself. I love her but she’s gonna get the fuck out of there. WHERE DID CHARLIE GO???

This music while Dean is confronting Sam about the book is INTENSE. It is STRESSFUL

It’s a powerful image, the Styne guy just banging on the door to Charlie’s motel room with what’s left of his left forearm. He could use his whole right one but no

OHHHHHH DEAN’S RIGHTEOUS ANGER. It’s been a while

I knew it would eventually come but I didn’t know it was today. I didn’t WANT it to be today…RIP Charlie 😭😭😭

“Flatline”

Plot Description: Clara goes against an enemy beyond human perception

I’ll tell ya one thing. Having an episode named Flatline right after my beloved Charlie died is CRUEL

This is a weird af episode. Not only are people being turned 2D, but the TARDIS has shrunk to toy size

Ok ok ok ok but Clara pretending to be the Doctor because he’s stuck in the TARDIS is a fun move

Thing is Clara’s found herself a companion for the episode. It’s amazing

There’s so much lying going on in these shows today. Everyone was lying to Dean, Clara’s lying to Danny about where she is and what she’s doing

I’m…kind of over the Doctor monologuing to…I guess it might actually be soliloquizing in the TARDIS

It’s verrrryyyyyyyy interesting how well the Doctor has (consciously or not) trained Clara to be just like him. Danny will SEETHE when he finds out just how alike his girlfriend and the man he can’t stand are

It’s an extra weird episode. The Doctor’s there but not really, Clara’s feelings toward him seem to vacillate between thinking the worst of him while shoving that in his face and the same blind loyalty as ever, and that’s on top of the aliens from a 2D universe turning people 2D and studying them…but there’s too much of the last part…and it’s the least interesting part. It’s visually interesting but…I take it back, there’s too much emphasis on the special effects. THAT’s why this episode is bad

Is watching the Doctor Addams Family Thing the TARDIS off the train tracks worth the rest of this episode? I don’t know but it’s probably going to be the highlight of the episode for me

Oh thank god, Clara. You’re on your own, kid. And I’m glad you’re taking charge and not asking what the Doctor would do no. It’s up to you to figure out what YOU would do and are going to do now

Why was he able to monologue at them, sonic them with the screwdriver, and banish them?? Why couldn’t anyone else monologue and sonic them????

[skiller0dani]

Broken Paradise | Spencer Reid

M A S T E R L I S T Criminal Minds Masterlist

smut requests info wc | 9.1k summary | you run into an ex boyfriend during an interrogation. except it's you being interrogated, and it's your ex boyfriend doing the interrogating.

song

another draft just waiting to be published. really obsessing over Spencer Reid.

also there's mentions of abortion, nothing graphic it's literally just a short direct reference and nothing else.

You always hear people say your past will come back to haunt you, you just didn't know they meant literally. You leaned back against the metal chair in the interrogation room, you've been in here for what felt like hours. You couldn't complain too much seeing as it's your fault that you're in here at all. You wished they'd come in and tell you something, give you an update, say hi, say anything. You seriously underestimated how maddening silence can be. You knew little about the murders the police were investigating, something about druggie women being found mutilated. The pictures they showed you were downright horrifying, you'd need at least one solid bottle of tequila to forget the bodies of those poor women.

The Las Vegas Police Department were a bunch of judgmental pigs, the only reason they'd brought you here at all was because you were from the wrong side of the tracks. Both of your parents were users, and if you were lucky, also dead. They probably assumed you used as well, and seeing as you seemed to fit the killers physical preference the police brought you in for questioning and also for your own "safety". But really you knew they didn't give a damn about your safety, they just wanted to know where you got your shit from. No matter how many times you insisted you didn't use, they kept pushing. When one male officer started throwing your parents in your face, you stood up and promptly broke his nose. That's how you landed yourself cuffed to the table, tightly.

"Oh thank you so much for gracing me with your presence once more." You smiled sarcastically as another officer walked in, wait he's definitely not an officer. The man who entered the room had cleanly cut dark hair, and wore an expensive looking black suit. Not the run of the mill beat cop that you were expecting. You bit back any other fiery remarks, if you wanted to get the hell out of here you needed to cooperate. Diana would be expecting you, not that you were itching to see her but after letter number 75 of her begging you to swing by- well lets just say that Spencer's mother was never the problem. You doubt Spencer even knew Diana was contacting you, which was good. You wanted nothing at all to do with him.

"I'm Agent Hotchner here with the FBI I need to ask you a few questions." This man was all business, you seriously had to fight the urge to fuck with him a little bit.

"I'd shake your hand but..." Your eyes flickered towards the table, where the police officer who's nose you broke had very tightly handcuffed you. In fact he cuffed you so tightly that your wrists were already raw and bleeding a bit.

"They wouldn't have handcuffed you if you didn't punch an officer. Did he hit a nerve?" The Agent's face was level, and gave nothing away as to what he was thinking. You tongued the inside of your cheek, your foot tapping quickly on the concrete floor. These assholes were really starting to piss you off.

"He was being a dick, how many times do I have to tell you guys that I don't use? Are your heads filled with sawdust?" You snapped roughly, yanking away from him to lean back in your chair despite the biting pain in your wrists.

"That's not why I'm here Miss Y/L/N." Agent Hotchner said, his voice even and his eyes on you. The way he was looking at you made you feel exposed, like he could read all of your secrets because of the way your eye twitches when you're nervous. You hate these damn FBI profilers- wait.

"How's Spencer?" It's a shot in the dark, a very long shot in a very dark tunnel. Before the scumbag left you without warning, Spencer mentioned that someone was trying to recruit him for the BAU department of the FBI. The profilers. Spencer left and never came back, two guesses as to where he went. Your eyes locked onto the Agent's in front of you, and from the slight upturn at the corner of his brow you knew you got him. Spencer is here.

"You know Dr. Reid?"

"So he's a Doctor now, doesn't surprise me. Let me guess, he has PHD's and Doctorates in Math, Chemistry and something to do with Geography right?" You say as casually as you can and you can only hope this man is wondering how you happen to know so much about one of his Agents.

"Unless I'm speaking to Spencer Reid, I want my lawyer." You snap, leaning back. You know Spencer won't talk to you, and unless they have physical proof you're guilty of something they'll have to let you go.

Check mate.

//

Spencer couldn't ignore the questioning glances from his fellow teammates even if he'd wanted to. He watched you lean back in your chair from the other side of the one way glass, what are the chances that you are wrapped up in this case? You of all young petite blonde women in the metro area. The world was fucking with him, it had to be.

"She a friend of yours?" Derek's voice was the first to cut through the silence.

"No." One word answers were the safest route, the shortest diction would give little time for them to draw information out of the way Spencer was speaking. There was a tremble in his tone, he knew there was. Spencer prided himself for having little to no baggage behind him, but of all unopened suitcases- his previous relationship with you was the largest one.

"Really? Cause she seems to know a lot about you." Derek said, his eyes fixed on Spencer. The tension in the room was palpable, and suddenly it felt hard for Spencer to breathe let alone compose himself. After shoving free from the small viewing room, Spencer found it a lot easier to exist without the scrutinizing gazes of his coworkers.

"You hear her?" It was Hotch, with a patiently guarded expression on his face. Spencer and drugs wasn't an uncommon problem, although in the past his poison of choice was dilaudid. Now there's a string of drug related murders and a possible junky who seems to know a lot about him.

"Yeah, from before the Bureau." Spencer clarified quickly, and Hotch honestly looked the tiniest bit relieved.

"Think you could talk to her, she's made it obvious she won't talk to any of us." Hotch said, and from the tension building in Spencer's shoulders he can tell there's some bad blood between the two of you. Spencer took a deep breath before taking all of those unresolved emotions and forcefully shoving them down. Deep, deep down. It's time to do a job, there's a missing woman who needs to be saved.

//

When that door opened again, you thought you'd won. You thought they were coming to begrudgingly release you. Instead you were met by the big doey eyes of Spencer Reid, your first and last love. All the air was stolen from your lungs in an instant, the memories flood back and you can't stop them. The anger rises then, this is the first time you've seen him since he left you. The one person you trusted not to leave you did, he left like everyone leaves you. Like your parents left you. He's very clearly all business, his face hardly giving anything away as he swiftly reached down to unlock the handcuffs around your wrists. If you wanted to walk away from this without your heart getting broken you needed the upper hand.

"Heya baby." You smiled, you hoped that maybe it would disarm him. At least a little, but when you looked at him all you saw was a stoic and focused expression. Nothing? Really?

"I need to ask you a few questions Miss Y/L/N." Spencer's voice was controlled, even in tone. His voice... God his voice could bring you right to tears. You could still hear him saying how much he loved you with that stupidly angelic voice of his. Spencer was very quickly taking control of the situation and you did not like that at all.

"You know you can ask me anything, there's no secrets between us right Spence?" You leaned forward on your elbows, trying desperately to ignore the throbbing in your wrists. One of Spencer's biggest giveaways is eye contact, when he's upset or feels guilty he'll avoid looking into your eyes. You turn your gaze up to meet his, but once again you're completely disarmed to see him unabashedly looking into your eyes like it isn't a problem at all. Either Spencer has amnesia and forgot who you were, or what happened between you two doesn't hurt him like it hurts you. You refuse to believe it's the latter, he just forgot. Definitely forgot. Somehow he must have forgot.

"Nina Fredricks, have you ever seen her?" He slid a photo in front of you, you recognize her as the woman who was most recently kidnapped. Most recently being 12 hours ago so chances of her still being alive are unfortunately slim. You nibble on your lower lip, come to think of it you actually might have seen her.

"Yeah, saw her at Winchell's, little coffee shop on the corner of 5th? You remember right Spence? You used take me there all the time, I loved giving you head under the table." You smirk, but it quickly falters. Whatever training he went through must have stripped him of all emotion and turned him into a machine. Built only to solve cases and do nothing else. That wasn't the case however, you just didn't know how good Spencer is at compartmentalizing his emotions. He could only imagine the looks on his coworkers faces upon hearing you say that, at least he can just say you were lying to try and illicit some sort of reaction from him. They don't have to know that you totally used to slip under the table and swallow his cock in a diner full of people. They don't know about that side of him, and Spencer doesn't plan on changing that.

"When?" He presses on with the interview, and surprisingly you're forthcoming with information when you're speaking to Spencer. Even after all this time, he has this annoying power over you. This innate ability to get you to do whatever he wants you to, although you would prefer him to use this special ability in the bedroom. No! No you have to eradicate thoughts like that, Spencer hurt you worse then anyone else ever has. He hurt you worse because he made you think he was going to stay, and then he didn't.

"Few nights ago, she looked really messed up though. Winchell threw her out, definitely doped up on something. Before you ask, no I didn't see where she went." You sigh, finally giving up flashing Spencer the all too familiar 'you win' look. Usually a victorious grin stretches across his face, but not this time. Those times are over.

"Did you see anybody with her?" You're not entirely surprised that Spencer isn't writing any of this down, that stupid eidetic memory. You're fooling yourself if you think he forgot what happened, Spencer never forgets anything. Ever.

"Every detail matters."

You genuinely try to remember if anybody was with Nina, and while you didn't see anyone you remember shortly after she left the diner there was this horrible screeching sound. "After Nina left I heard what sounded like tires screeching on the street. Never saw a car though."

"Thank you Miss Y/L/N, is there anything else you can remember about that night? Anything that sticks out?" After a few moments of quiet contemplation, you shake your head.

"Am I free to go?" You ask quietly and Spencer shakes his head.

"Unfortunately we're going to have to keep you in protective custody. We'll move you to a more comfortable room, but you'll need to stay in the precinct."

"But why? I'm not a drug addict-"

"You are exactly this killers type, and we don't know if looking a certain way is more important or if being a drug addict is when it comes to him choosing his victims." Spencer explains simply, his mouth moving a mile a minute as he stands. When he turns his eyes back on you, you realize he's waiting for you to follow him. You stand and follow him out of the cold interrogation room to a comfier waiting room. It has a table and chairs, vending machine and a big plush couch.

"You can stay in here, we'll let you know when it's safe to go home." Spencer says, and this is when you finally catch the crack in his façade. His eyes flicker away from yours, trying to disguise the waver in his voice, the desperation to vacate the room as quickly as he can. But now that you've seen him break, even a little, you're going to crack him wide open. You won't let it go that easily.

"Spencer?" Your voice is soft, with an innocent drawl that Spencer can't resist. He turns his head to look at you, swallowing thickly when his eyes meet yours.

"You do remember me don't you? Once upon a time we were in love." You see the rest of his coworkers trying and failing to look like they're not listening. But it's not like you care if they do, Spencer will though but luckily his back is to the door. After a few moments of tense silence, he finally speaks.

"Of course." It's not the answer you were hoping for but it's an admission, which is more then you were getting earlier.

"Do you miss me Spencer? Miss me in bed next to you?"

"W-Well I-"

"Do you miss when I used to cook your favorite dinner every night when you came over? Do you miss how I loved you unconditionally?" Your voice was steadily growing more hostile, and you knew there were tears building in your eyes. This has all been building up for so long you know you can't stop it now.

"Y/N-"

"Do you miss being able to fuck me whenever the hell you want? Is that what you miss the most Spencer? You must not miss me that much because when you left I didn't even get a fucking call! You didn't even say goodbye, you just left!" You were yelling now, with tears streaming down your face. Spencer had slyly shut the door by now, he knew this was going to happen the second he saw you. He wished he could help you understand why he had to leave the way he did. He was trying to protect you, and he still firmly believes he's protecting you. Look what happened to Haley, what happened to Maeve. Spencer loved Maeve and he lost her like Hotch lost Haley, and Spencer can't lose you. Not you. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if something happened to you.

"Please try to understand-" You never even let him get close to finishing his thought.

"Understand what? Leaving me? You said you loved me! How could you love me and then leave me alone? While I was pregnant!" Your hands flew to your mouth, you honestly never planned on telling him that. Spencer's eyebrows rose high in the air, and you can tell you just knocked the wind out of him. Spencer's hand reached back for the door handle, "pregnant?"

"Spencer I'm sorry I didn't mean to tell you that way." You tried to explain, and despite the fact that he'd abandoned you, you were dead terrified of him leaving again now that he was stood in front of you.

"Do I have a child you never told me about?" His voice is shaky, afraid. Now you can see all his coworkers heavily invested in your conversation.

"N-No, I...I got rid of it." You said softly, watching the mix of emotions swirl across his face. When his trembling palm curls around the door handle you launch forward to grab at his arm.

"I'm sorry, please don't leave. Not again-" But he's pulling his arm free from yours and turning out of the room, nearly slamming the door behind him.

//

Spencer ignored the questions, he ignored the looks. His legs gave out somewhere near one of the couches. He stared ahead numbly, trying to make sense of what you'd just told him. Trying to somehow wrap his head around the terror of you being pregnant and then the grief of the lost possibility all at the same time. By now, JJ and Rossi had shooed everyone away from Spencer. Which he was immensely grateful for, the only thing he wanted now was to be alone. Completely and entirely alone.

Pregnant.

The word kept replaying like a scratched record, screeching in his ears every time he closed his eyes. Spencer pressed the balls of his palms into his eyes when he heard the distinct sound of footsteps approaching him. Whoever it was, he already wished they would go away.

"Damn Kid, I didn't expect you to date such a spitfire." Derek joked as he sat down, doing what he can to ease the tension. Spencer didn't even bother looking up at him, his head stubbornly lowered and his gaze locked on the ground. Derek racked his brain for something adequate to say, but what was there to say? How could Derek find a way to make this right? Spencer just found out you were pregnant with his child and that you'd got an abortion all in the same 10 seconds. It was a lot to process.

"You gotta talk to her Spence." Derek's voice was less humorous this time. Spencer wrung his hands nervously, his eyes finally lifting to meet Derek's. A sharp shake of his head and a flash of the tears in his eyes and Spencer stands, wiping his eyes with the backs of his hands. Time to get back to work. Someone has to talk to you, Derek can't stand of someone crying by themselves like that.

"It's not really my place-" JJ tried to argue as Derek stood in front of her.

"Someone needs to talk to her, and Spencer isn't going to." Derek said, rubbing a hand down his face as his eyes flickered back to Spencer. Who was currently throwing himself headfirst into the geographic profile of the killer they're looking for, because maybe if he works hard enough the rest of the entire world will just disappear. Maybe if Spencer keeps working and does nothing else you'll just vanish from that room and he won't have to deal with this. It's not that Spencer wants you to go away, the opposite actually but there isn't room in his life for you anymore. It's not safe. Spencer would rather be alone for the rest of his life then put you in danger because he's lonely and misses you.

"Alright, fine. But only for Spence." JJ says, jabbing a finger in Derek's direction before reluctantly heading towards the room you're in. She glances back at Spencer, who has become consumed by the map in front of him. JJ can always tell when something is bothering him, he has physical giveaways. The way his shoulders are rigid as he scribbles something on the whiteboard, the furrow in his brow that lets her know that while he's working on something, his mind is elsewhere. The tremble in his palm from trying so hard to hold everything back, everything he doesn't want anyone else to see. To someone that doesn't know Spencer, he looks perfectly composed, his attention and focus completely on his work. JJ knows him well enough to know that his mind, and heart are sitting tattered in this waiting room on the couch next to you.

JJ creaks the door open, flashing you a smile that makes you absolutely hate her guts. Spencer probably has some puppy love crush on her, she's beautiful. Long blonde hair, slender body, stunning smile. Everything you're not.

"Hi I'm Special Agent Jennifer Jareau, but you can call me JJ." The way she's looking at you lets you know that she came in here to try and understand. You're not in the mood to talk to her or anybody else in this stupid building except for Spencer. You want to hate him so bad but you can't. You can't because of how much you fucking love him. The bastard.

"Look I know you're probably not all that excited to talk to me-"

"I want Spencer." You snap, and by the look on her face you can tell she isn't surprised that you said that. JJ chewed on the inside of her cheek, how does she say that Spencer doesn't actually want to talk to you?

"Dr. Reid is needed elsewhere right now, but I'm willing to talk if you need to."

"You don't have to lie Agent Jareau. I know he doesn't want to see me, he's doing that thing where he pretends to work on something while secretly obsessing over something else." You say casually, and the fact that you can pick Spencer apart so easily is somewhat off-putting to JJ. But that could be her unrequited crush on him shining through, deep down JJ doesn't like that some other woman knows Spencer better then she does. While you'd love to sit here and wallow in your misery, a much worse idea strikes you then. If you can't talk to Spencer why not fuck with the woman who's clearly in love with him.

"And the little twitch in his fingers, the slight clench in his jaw. See that? He keeps rolling his shoulders back," while everything you were saying isn't a lie- it's guaranteed to annoy her. JJ stayed quiet, she hated that she didn't know what the goddamn twitch in his fingers meant.

"He's tense, but there's more. He can't stand still, keeps shifting from foot to foot. It's driving you crazy that you don't know why he's doing that." You laugh as her annoyed eyes flash to yours for a second before settling on Spencer again.

"You're a profiler, you can't figure it out? That doesn't surprise me, you've probably never considered the fact that Spencer has an unusually high sex drive." Your words completely stun her, and JJ's cheeks flush profusely.

"It means he's horny." You say casually, leaning back against the couch. You love the blush on her cheeks, and the fact that she's clearly biting her tongue to avoid saying something rude. You love that you got under her skin, and yes you're aware that you're a bad person. Now that you've said it, JJ can't get it out of her damn head. Spencer is horny. Spencer isn't a virgin. The thought of Spencer having sex makes JJ feel a sick turning in her gut. She was happy believing Spencer was a virgin, believing that nobody has gotten to experience that side of him yet. Happy to believe that he was untouched, but apparently that was not the case. Now that the illusion has been shattered, JJ feels as though the jagged pieces of it are cutting into her, and she knows you enjoy watching her bleed.

"Trust me, I know just what to do to relieve the tension, I know how to get him off quick. Do you?" You smile as you let your eyes shamelessly drag down his slender frame.

"You're only saying this because you want to control the conversation, and you hate that I see him everyday. That I can talk to him whenever I want, about whatever I want. You wouldn't lash out if you didn't feel intimidated." JJ says calmly, rendering you just as speechless as she was moments ago. The pain that was sent stabbing into your heart caused you to recoil back from JJ, trying to hide your misty eyes from hers. You can't let her know that she's winning.

"Look, we can both get nasty all we want but that's not why I'm here. I just want to help." JJ says sincerely, but you still don't budge. JJ taps her fingers against the wood of the table, thinking about leverage she can use to get you to talk to her.

"Spencer fell in love again." JJ says finally, and this time you turn your gaze up to look at her. You push your emotions down, no matter how much it hurts to hear her say that. Who is she? Are they still together?

"If you want to know more about her, then I suggest you talk to me. An answer for an answer, fair?" You can see her trying to bait you, and damn her because it's working.

"Fine." You grumble, leaning back fully against the couch. Your eyes catch Spencer's for a second when he turns to face the table, presumably looking for a map you remember being on the right side. You point to the right side of the table and Spencer looks nothing but annoyed when he follows your direction and finds what he's looking for. He hates that he functions better as a person when you're around.

"What's the deal with you and Spence?" JJ asks, and there is a lot to unpack with that question.

"Gonna have to be more specific." You say with a shrug, your eyes hesitantly meeting hers.

"How long were you two together?"

"2 years 8 months." You answer without pausing, causing her eyebrows to raise. JJ didn't expect you to remember down to the month, it's been years since you and Spencer were together. That's not a short fling like JJ originally thought, that's a substantial amount of time.

"What's her name?" You ask, desperate to get information on this mystery woman who has stolen Spencer from you.

"Her name was Maeve." Was. You don't miss how she says was instead of is.

"Why do you hate Spencer?" JJ looked like she cared, but you know it's not you she cares about. She's in here to try and protect Spencer in some way, she's acting like you're the villain.

"I don't hate him. He abandoned me. Just packed up and left, no note, no goodbye. Haven't heard from him since." You snap, hating the amount of emotion that was in your voice. JJ's eyebrows furrow, that's just so unlike Spencer. He's not cruel, he's never been cruel but that...is cruel. You see a look flash across her face.

"Sweet boy isn't as sweet as he seems." You say softly, folding your arms over your chest.

"He must have had a good reason." JJ insists, her eyes landing on Spencer's back as he continues to map out the hunting grounds of the killer. You know he's just wasting time to avoid coming back in here. Spencer is a certifiable super genius, he finished mapping it out a while ago. He's just pretending he hasn't finished yet.

"Spence still with her? Maeve." Her name felt like poison on your tongue, and JJ slowly shook her head.

"She died in front of him, really tore him up." Your heart cracks a little bit at her words, you can't imagine how hard that must have been for him. You see JJ open her mouth to ask something else when the door opens, and a man with darker skin pokes his head in.

"JJ? Reid found him, we gotta go." As soon as he arrived, he's gone with JJ hot on his heels. She sends you a smile before she rushes out of the room, and you see Spencer following her path out. They're going to arrest a murderer who has an arsenal of weapons at his disposal.

"Spencer! Y-You can't go, it's not safe!" You blurt from the doorway, and he pauses. His eyes find yours as he holsters his pistol, an unreadable expression on his face.

"It's my job." And that's all he says before he disappears out of the precinct, leaving you once again.

//

You couldn't quell the anxiety turning in your gut, you're not sure how to exist while Spencer is out there hunting a murderer. You wished that you could turn off the part of your brain that's still so damn attached to him, but no matter how hard you try you can't silence your heart as it calls for him. You're not sure you could survive the constant fear of losing him if you ever ended up with him again, this life is too much for you to take. Maybe he knew that all those years ago when he left you the first time, Spencer always could see right through you. Maybe he left because he knew staying would only lead you to live a life of constant fear, maybe he was trying to protect you. Either way the reasons don't matter anymore because he left, and nothing can change how badly that hurt you.

"Does it normally take this long?" You ask a passing officer, who in turn shrugs before continuing on his path. You feel like you're going to explode or vomit, or both. It's been over 2 hours, should it be taking this long? What if he got shot? What if he's dead right now and you're sitting here with your damn thumb up your ass worrying about him like a useless housewife? Feeling useless, that's what you hate the absolute most. Knowing there's nothing you can do to stop a bullet on it's trajectory to his heart.

"Spence, are you sure you're okay?" You hear a flurry of voices and when his name graces JJ's lips you're pushing out of the room. Your eyes find him instantly, and then travel to his palm which is pressed tightly to his neck. His bleeding neck. You feel your heart rate spike, hammering like the hooves of wild horses as you move without thinking about it. Before you even understand that you've moved, you're stood in front of him. Your eyes try to scan his neck for wounds but his palm covers the location the blood is coming from.

"C'mere." You grab his wrist and yank him back towards where you saw a first aid kit earlier. Luckily your 2 and a half years of nursing school taught you how to stitch a wound and perform basic first aid. Spencer offers no resistance as you yank him to a back corner of the precinct, pushing him to sit down. You grab the first aid kit, slowly prying his hand from his neck. Your eyes mist at the wound, it's a bullet wound. Looks old though, there's scarred tissue. This had to have happened a few weeks ago at least. You see the thin line of the scar, the middle section seems to have opened up again.

"You didn't wait long enough for this to heal." You scold gently, not missing how his eyes watch you with an intensity smoldering in them. You miss the way he used to look at you, the way he's looking at you right now. You miss being the center of his whole world, you scoff. Look how easy it was for him to walk away from you. You threat a needle to stitch the center of his wound shut again, and when you look for numbing cream you discover that there isn't any.

"Spence, there isn't any- I can't find the numbing..." Your voice trails off as you begin to yank things out of the first aid kit to search for the numbing cream. Spencer's hand catches your wrist and it's only just now that you realize you're trembling.

"It's okay. I'll be fine." He settles back against the chair he's sitting in, turning his head to reveal his neck to you. You hesitate, the Spencer you remember had a very low pain threshold. All of a sudden he's expecting you to stitch him up with no numbing agent?

"Y/N, I can handle it." Spencer says again, his voice firmer than before. You swallow a lump in your throat before reaching forward to begin stitching. You press the needle against his neck, eyeing him to gauge his reaction as you puncture his skin to make the first thread. To your surprise he hardly flinches, a small quirk in his lip is the only giveaway that he's in pain. Is this the same man that got squirmy getting a shot? That would shy away from the needle? Now he's sitting here letting you stitch him up without moving a muscle, without even flinching? The more time you spend with him the more proof you get that this isn't the same Spencer that left you all those years ago.

"How did it happen?" You ask, wondering how he could have survived a gunshot to the neck. He shifts uncomfortably.

"Got shot, two inches away from hitting my jugular." Spencer says it so casually, but you're so stunned that you halt your movements for a moment.

"How many times have you been shot?" You ask, your voice hoarse. Is him getting shot a common occurrence?

"Twice. Also got shot in the leg." The casual way Spencer talks about it almost convinces you it isn't a big deal. But it is. It's a bullet ripping through his body, and it's happened to him on two separate occasions. You finish stitching and bandaging him up, your hands moving away from him as soon as you can.

"Thank God you went to nursing school or I'd be six feet under." He jokes. You know he's kidding but still, the thought of it makes you feel lightheaded.

"Don't say stuff like that." You snap softly, and you know Spencer can see the fear and vulnerability in your eyes. You hesitantly steal a glance up at him once he's stood up only to find he's already looking at you. You shy away from his intrusive gaze, and you could practically feel him probing at your mind. Reading your thoughts as if they were written down for him. You hate that he can always tell what you're thinking, you hate that it was so easy for him to read you. Like a damn book. You have to fight the urge to reach out and grab his hand, it's what you always did when you felt lost or unsure. Spencer was always there to ground you and bring your mind back out of your thoughts.

"Miss Y/L/N?" You hear JJ's voice gently interrupt you two. You shoot away from Spencer as though you were doing something scandalous. He doesn't move an inch.

"Yes!" You blurt a little too loudly, suddenly flustered being so close to him. Why does your sharp tongue always leave you when you need it?

"You're clear to go home."

"I can take her." Spencer speaks up before JJ has a chance to offer, and she knew he would. You swallow a nervous lump in your throat, your palms shaking.

//

The SUV has dark tint, you weren't expecting that. The second you sat back in the plush leather seat your mind flew to lewd thoughts of you leaning over the center console, Spencer's hand in your hair as he helps you take his cock in your mouth. You steal one glance at Spencer, his right hand holding the steering wheel loosely. Your cheeks heat up as you glance down between his legs, get ahold of yourself.

"The address is-"

"I remember." You knew he would. That damn eidetic memory ensured that he never forgot anything. It broke your heart a little, because some naïve part of you was hoping he remembered because it meant something to him. You hoped he remembered the way to your house because he didn't want to forget, because forgetting it meant forgetting you. But you know the reality, you know that he remembers because he has no choice but to remember. His memory is too good to allow him to forget anything, even if it was something he wanted to forget. You're grasping at straws and you know you are, holding onto that foolish notion that Spencer still held onto the memories. That he still held onto the gifts you gave him, crying softly in the night like you did sometimes.

"JJ told me about Maeve." You say softly into the silence, and you saw Spencer swallow thickly out of the corner of your eye. "I'm so sorry you lost her Spence."

"Thank you." He honestly wasn't expecting you to say that, to acknowledge the pain. Because acknowledging the pain meant that you knew he loved her. He did love her. But it was a different love then the love he feels for you. It was special, but so are you. You're special too.

"Have you...dated anyone else?" Spencer can't help but ask as he subconsciously continues the drive to your house. A drive he's committed to his memory, a drive he never wants to forget. You shift to look at him, there were a few you dated. You know when you tell Spencer about them that it'll drive him crazy.

"Tony Anderson." You say and just like you thought, Spencer groans deeply. Spencer detests Tony, they were practically mortal enemies when he still lived in Las Vegas.

"Tony? Seriously?" His tone is incredulous as his grasp on the steering wheel tightens ever so slightly.

"He was a good fuck at least." You know you shouldn't wind him up, but he hurt you for Christ's sakes. He deserves a little bit of pain too. Spencer flinches, a look of anger and something else simmering in his eyes.

"Please tell me you didn't have sex with Tony."

"Why does it matter?" You shouldn't enjoy upsetting people as much as you do. But there's still a small part of you that's convinced that Spencer deserves this.

"Because I can't live with the fact that somebody else has gotten to feel that perfect cunt of yours, let alone Tony." His crude words take you by surprise, and you can't fight the gasp that escapes your mouth.

"Well before you start digging your grave, relax. I never had sex with Tony." You decide to put him out of his misery, and you see the relief physically flood his body. You lean against the window, the next admission from you will leave the air heavier in it's wake.

"I've never slept with anyone but you Spence." You realize it's been a long time since you've seen Spencer let alone had sex with him but you could never bring yourself to sleep with someone else. It's not as though the opportunity never presented itself, you had plenty of chances to have sex with someone else. But you couldn't because there's still a stubborn part of you that doesn't want to betray Spencer.

"Really? Why?" Apparently this revelation surprised him.

"Because no matter where you go I will always belong to you." You snap without thinking, blinking tears from your eyes as you avoid his gaze. Spencer fell silent then, and you know he feels guilty. Probably because he's slept with someone else in the time since he's been with you.

"I know you have and it's fine I'm not trying to-"

"I haven't." Spencer corrects instantly, his eyes meeting yours through the darkness of the SUV. If he could see you he would see the look of utter surprise on your face. It's not as though Spencer was an overly sexually ambitious person when you dated, but you figured he probably slept with at least one person. "I haven't slept with anybody else either."

"I know someone that wants to though." You grumble without thinking, your mind drifting to JJ and the obvious crush she thinks isn't obvious. Spencer tilts his head in a way that resembles a confused puppy, you resist the urge to ruffle his hair.

"Who?"

"Agent Jareau." As soon as the name slips past the threshold of your lips, Spencer's jerks the wheel in surprise. You see a dark blush color his cheeks as his other hand reaches up to steady the wheel.

"J-Jennifer? No way! She's my best friend." You nearly laugh at his flustered state, and normally you would push it a little further but you decide to let it go. You don't want to completely destroy the way he sees her, you know you already destroyed the way she sees him.

"You have no idea what a catch you are Spencer." You tell him as you unbuckle your seatbelt, getting ready to exit the SUV. Spencer reaches over and places a warm hand on your wrist to stop you from leaving, his eyes searching yours for an answer he isn't sure you have.

"Come in?" You ask hopefully, you're not ready for him to leave again. Damnit why did he have to turn up again after so long? You were just starting to think that maybe you could move on and find someone new. You were finally starting to feel okay, and then Spencer reappears and turns your entire world upsidown all over again. Deep down you know that nobody will ever compare to Spencer Reid, and you don't want them to. You don't want anyone to be like Spencer, you want him to be his entirely own person. It's what you love the most about him, is his ability to be himself no matter where he is or who he's with. All of his little quirks, the things about himself that he doesn't notice but you do.

"Yeah." His answer comes across as an exhalation of breath, and you try to hide how excited you are. You want to hold on to any moment you can, stolen moments that you take as you please with no regret whatsoever.

"Nothing has changed." Spencer muses once you unlock the front door and push inside the darkened living room. You blush, admittedly nothing about your small townhouse has changed. It's all basically the exact same as when Spencer saw it last. You rub a hand down your arm as Spencer's eyes go wandering. Trailing over the curtains he remembers hastily pulling closed to protect your decency on more than a few occasions. His gaze then travels to the couch, all those movie nights you two spent curled up together. Or when he got you into Star Trek and you couldn't stop watching it. Pain stabs his chest for a moment, it's hard to remember everything he had to let go of to get the job he has now.

"I miss you too, you know." Spencer says off-handedly. It takes you by surprise, the sureness in his tone is jarring. He sounds so comfortable admitting when he's vulnerable, it's never been easy for you to be vulnerable with him. Maybe that's part of the reason he left, maybe you drove him away by shutting him out. His eyes meet yours, a look so soft in his eyes it feels as though his gaze is caressing your skin. You bite your bottom lip to keep the emotions at bay, what is it about this man that makes you so emotional?

"I never said I missed you." You try to snap, to add an edge to your tone. But instead it came out watery and broken, and in turn Spencer reached up to swipe away a falling tear.

"But you do." You can't even deny it, it's obvious.

"Damn you Spencer Reid, I was finally starting to feel okay again." You cry softly, curling your arms towards your chest in an attempt to shrink away from him. He cups your cheeks in his palms, turning your face up towards him.

"I wasn't." He admits before his lips are on yours, and it's not frenzied and desperate like you've been picturing all these years. It's slow and calculated, soft and passionate. Firm but with a tenderness that makes your knees buckle from the gravity of it. Spencer's fingers card into your hair, pulling your head closer to his. He nips at your lower lip, his arms crushing you against his chest. You throw yourself into him, your arms holding him as tightly as you possibly can. Afraid that if your vise grip loosens, even for a second, that he'll slip through your fingers like trying to hold onto water. You almost don't want to let your eyes close, you don't want him to disappear again.

"I missed you, I miss you-" You gasp against his lips, grabbing fistfuls of his dress shirt. Spencer continues to move his lips languidly against yours, backing you against the wall. His hand ghosts down your side to the hem of your shirt, his fingers toying with it.

"O-Off." You beg, and in an instant Spencer is pulling your shirt over your head. His eyes land on your bare chest, shocked that he almost forgot that you never really wear a bra. His hands curl around your back, drawing your chest up into his awaiting lips. His mouth curls around your hardened nipple, your hand flying into his hair from the contact.

"Is this a dream? Please tell me you're really here Spencer." You beg, almost becoming lost in the emotions again. His eyes flutter up to meet yours, his mouth reluctantly leaving your nipple. He brushes his lips over yours, his hand trailing down your stomach towards the waistband of your leggings.

"This is real, I'm here baby. I'm home." Hearing those words was too much, and you launch yourself into his chest as the first tear trickles down your cheek. Your lips press sloppily to his, the kiss messy and wet as his hand slides into your leggings. His fingers find your wet slit in an instant, desperately parting your lips to slide a lithe finger into you. Your body reacts to him instantly, in a way that surprises you. Almost as though it too was crying out for him, keening into him and begging for his touch as much as your mind is. Spencer hauls one of your thighs up to hook around his waist as he presses another finger into you. You cry out softly into the quiet air, accompanied only by the labored breathing fanning across your face.

"I need to feel you, I- I need-" You can barely get the words out as he steadily pumps his fingers into you. His mouth on yours silences your desperate pleading, his chest firmly pressing your back into the wall. You missed being able to feel him and you hate that you forgot what it feels like to have his body on yours. It's been so long you forgot what the sting of his cock feels like. What it feels like when you stretch wide open around him, to feel like you're being ripped in two. Spencer continues his pace, his thumb rolling your clit to provide the extra stimulation you're missing. It's not enough to satisfy you, but its enough for you two cum. Which you do. You gush around his fingers as you gently come undone, your back arching into him.

"Please," You beg wantonly, curling your other leg around his waist as his hands hook underneath your thighs. Spencer's lips press against yours, moving slowly against your own. You know now that you will never stop loving Spencer, and that he's completely ruined you for life. You'll never be able to love anybody else without your heart wandering back to him. But then again, you don't really mind because you don't want to be with anybody else. You don't want to love anybody else. You just want him, only him. He pushes into your room, walking the entirety of the way with his eyes closed and his mouth pressed against yours. He has the layout of your house mapped out in his head? He never even bumped into anything until he was dropping you unceremoniously on the bed.

"Tell me what you need, I'll give you whatever you want." Spencer husks against you, hovering above you. Your fingers are already unbuttoning his shirt before you even have the chance to respond to him. You know instantly what you want, what you need from him.

"I want all of you, give me everything." You plead, your lips practically chasing his as he kneels up over you. He's being soft tonight, and that's something you appreciate greatly. You need to feel his love, you need to feel everything you know he can't quite put into words. His hands are shaking as he undoes the button and zipper of his dress slacks before kicking them off the edge of the bed. You stare up at his naked body, looking as though it's been sculpted by the Gods specifically for you. Spencer smiles softly at you as he pulls your leggings down your legs, leaving little nips and kisses on your inner thighs as he goes.

"Hurry." You groan, nearly clawing at his bare shoulders to pull him back up to you. Spencer chuckles at how eager you are, watching with interested eyes as the head of his cock breaches your folds. You reluctantly stretch open as he continues his intrusion, his fists curling tightly around the sheets. Christ you weren't lying about not sleeping with anyone else, you're so tight it's making him feel a little lightheaded. Inch by inch Spencer presses into you, his forehead resting against yours once his pelvis is sitting flush against yours. Sure, you've had sex with hi before but never have you felt this connected to him. Spencer sits like a gentleman and lets you adjust to his size, trying to take a few deep breaths himself. It's hard to breathe with your heat sucking him in with a vice grip.

"Can I move?" You're surprised by how collected his voice is, but the furrow of his brow is a giveaway that he's losing the battle to stay stock still inside you.

"Yes, please." You moan, unashamed. Spencer gently draws his hips back, pulling himself nearly all the way out before swiftly sliding back into your inviting cunt. He sets the pace slow and deep, his hands reaching up to lace through yours. Every time the head of his cock nudges that spot deep inside you, you can feel your toes curl. Your head slams back against the pillows, unable to keep your gaze on him any longer. You feel yourself becoming one with him, and you wish you could capture this moment somewhere other then just in your minds eye. Your memory is nowhere near as good as Spencer's, he'll be able to recall every detail of this moment up until the day he dies. But over time, this memory will fade for you. It'll wear out, all the details becoming fuzzy and blurred. If he's not here in front of you, you'll forget and you don't want to forget.

When the night draws to a close, and the moon has reached its peak, Spencer slips carefully out of bed. It chisels away pieces of his heart as he carefully gets dressed, reaching for his go bag which he'd brought inside upon realizing that he'd be staying a while. He pulls out a t-shirt he'd worn recently and leaves it folded neatly at the end of your bed, something for you to hold onto when he's gone. Spencer's cheeks are wet with tears as he leans over and presses a kiss to your head.

"I love you." Is the last thing he whispers in the space between you two before he's gone again.

//

On the jet, Derek can't keep his eyes off Spencer and that helplessly broken look on his face. A book is laid nestled in Spencer's lap, but Derek can tell he isn't really reading it. Trying to bother Spencer into opening up probably won't work, but it's worth a try. Derek has to do something and this is all he can think of.

"You okay kid?"

"Yeah fine, why?" Spencer draws his eyes up from the book, his gaze meeting Derek's from across the table. While Spencer might be a talented actor, he can't lie to Derek.

"Look I know how hard it must have been leaving her again-"

"Did you know that on average the FDA allows a minimum of 1 rodent hair per 100 grams of peanut butter? They have to allow themselves room for error just in case of-"

"Alright you win, forget it." Derek sighs, turning his gaze out the window. In an instant Spencer drops his peanut butter spiel, turning back to his book. A guaranteed way to get people off his back is to start rambling about something boring or gross, they usually leave him alone pretty quickly. It's not that Spencer doesn't appreciate Derek's concern, he just doesn't want to talk about it. He can't talk about it, because every time he imagines how you're going to feel when you wake up, tears come to the surface of his eyes. He hates this case more than all the rest even though they saved the victim. Spencer hates this case for ripping open an old wound, one he thought healed.

He was wrong.

//

When you wake the next morning you knew he'd be gone. That didn't stop the tears from coming when you reached over and felt cold sheets. That didn't stop the tears from coming when you cried how much you loved him over and over again even though he couldn't hear you. It doesn't change how badly this hurts, how much worse it feels compared to the first time he left. Your eyes catch the shirt folded at the end of the bed and you grab it instantly. You pull it over your body and you lay down in your bed, inhaling his cologne that you know will fade over time. Eventually his scent will disappear, removing all traces that this fabric belonged to him at all. Every trace of him will disappear over time, every mark from your body will slowly vanish. When it's all gone, you'll be left with nothing more than a t-shirt that's too big for you, and a cold reminder that the man you love will never truly be yours. A reminder that every time he comes home, he leaves again.

A cold reminder that this world is cruel for bringing you Spencer Reid, only to rip him from you again and again.

[rafescoke]

Crime ; Part 3

masterlist

Part #3

Read the previous parts here:

Part #1, Part #2

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: Maybe life just doesn’t go your way sometimes. 

Warnings: heavy writings on death! angst, just two people being in love but one of them is scared

A/N: ideas are inspired by @pogueslandia literally the sweetest <3

Maybe Rafe was overthinking it. 

He ran his fingers through her hair, his arms all wrapped up around her. The golden sunlight hit them squarely on the face, and the weather never looked so inviting. 

“Stop thinking,” he whispered, pulling her close. He placed a soft kiss on the crown of her head. 

She hummed, letting him caress her. The guilt was eating her away, and she hasn't felt good for a week now. 

5 more days until John B’s death sentence. 

And yet, here she was; all wrapped up with the boy she loved in the Bahamas. 

Rafe thought it would be ideal to bring her away from the chaos. Her parents thought it was a good thing too, with all of the commotion and rebellion by the pogues. It was her second day in the strange place, but even with all of the soothing sounds coming from the waves, she couldn’t forget about John B. 

Rafe sighed, “Is it about John B?” 

“No,” she quickly said. She bit her lips, blinking to stop her tears from crashing down. 

“I love you,” Rafe breathed. His fingers stayed on her stomach, and it was a pleasing sight to see; two people in love. If only one has never committed a murder.

(Y/N) pursed her lips, because she couldn’t utter the words back. She loved him, of course, but she was scared. It wasn’t like it was Rafe’s fault entirely; he gave her a chance to confess, but she didn’t. 

Love is truly a blinding bitch. 

. . .

“You guys came back early,” Ward said, helping them out with the bags. He turned to look at (Y/N), and then back to Rafe. He sighed. 

“What is it?” 

“She’s not feeling well,” Rafe mumbled. His eyes were tired, showing how they have been fighting since god knows when. (Y/N) didn’t look any well either, keeping to herself the whole time from their departure.

Ward made to grab his arms before he could follow (Y/N) into the house. “Control her.” 

“She’s not a dog,” he said through gritted teeth. He pulled his arms away, seething. 

“She’s going to tell on you.” 

“She won’t,” Rafe answered back, but he too, wasn’t sure. 

Because all of her actions were showing him otherwise. 

She wasn’t like (Y/N) he knew anymore, but he took it as her way to cope with the situation. 

“What is wrong with you?” Rafe finally asked. He plopped onto the bed beside her, his lips curling. 

“I’m just tired.” 

“All we did in the Bahamas was sleep,” he scoffed. “You can’t use that excuse, (Y/N), come on.” 

“Maybe if you actually try to understand me you’ll get it.” 

“What?” 

“Nothing,” she sighed. She laid her back against his bed and closed her eyes, letting the darkness take over. 

“So like what? You’re going to tell the cops, huh? Is that what you’re going to do?” 

“God, can you let me breathe? We’ve just had a long fucking flight.” Her eyes opened, feeling so exhausted from the overwhelming situation. She didn’t know what to do, but fighting with Rafe was definitely not on the list. 

“Whose fucking fault is that?” He mumbled before standing up. 

Rafe exited the room, wanting to get away from her as soon as possible. He could feel it. He could see what was going to happen. He thought of this exact moment, but he didn’t really want to act on it out of fear. 

He wasn’t sure if he would ever hurt her.

Sometimes he felt like doing it, but he just couldn’t. Everytime her eyes set on him, he felt like seeing her for the first time again. 

“Hey, I’m sorry.”

(Y/N) wrapped her arms around Rafe’s waist as he stood near the railing of the porch. The sun was setting in, and it would look so mesmerising; just them two, but the feeling was long gone. 

“It’s okay,” he whispered, and breathed into her scent. 

His girl. His. 

. . .

(Y/N) was sleeping right beside him. 

She looked so peaceful, her hair fixed to one side and her chest heaving slowly. 

He couldn’t help but place a soft kiss on her temple. 

She shifted, groaning slightly. 

Rafe panicked, “Shit, I’m so sorry, baby. Go back to sleep.” 

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” She grunted, shifting her position to face him. “It’s midnight.” 

“Can’t sleep.” 

(Y/N) sighed, and pulled him close to her. “Go to sleep.” 

He smiled, laying his head against her chest now, and he could feel her heart beating. 

A few minutes after, he felt her poking him. “You’re asleep yet?” 

“No.” 

“Wanna go swimming?” 

“Where?” 

“The beach.” 

Rafe smiled, “You’re not tired?” 

“Am tired. But you can’t sleep.” 

She guided him to the exit, her hair messy from her slumber before. The moonlight glowed from above, illuminating the pathway to the beach behind her home. 

They sat on the beach for a while, just staring into the never ending landscape, until Rafe pulled her close again. 

“I love you.” 

(Y/N) smiled. “I know.”

She couldn’t. She just couldn’t utter it back. 

He removed his shirt, revealing his toned figure, and pulled her up her feet. She giggled, removing her own tank top and shimmying out of her shorts. She was completely naked now, and allowed herself to be pulled into the water. 

Strange enough, the water was not too cold or too hot. Just perfect. It was like the night was made for them. 

She giggled when Rafe pulled her further into the darkness, and a sudden thought of a strange creature in the water occurred to her. 

She reached for Rafe, her eyes trying to see through the water even though it was nearly impossible. 

Rafe laughed, holding her tight. Her chest was all pushed up against him, and he had never looked at something more beautiful than her. 

“We’re gonna die.” 

“Probably,” he rolled his eyes. “Maybe there’s that dinosaur from Jurassic World down here.”

She hit Rafe from the sudden thought of a monster underneath her, and went to swim away. Rafe laughed again, pulling her quickly by her wrist and letting her lay against his chest again. 

“I’m kidding. I’ll kill a monster for you.” 

They stared at each other again, breathing in each other’s presence, and finally, he closed in the distance. 

She melted into the kiss, feeling so good she never wanted to let go of that boy. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close, and it was all so perfect; 

Like something out of a book. 

“You’re perfect,” he whispered. He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, admiring her eyes, and placed another soft kiss. “So, so perfect.” 

(Y/N) smiled, always loving this side of Rafe. The side she knew before he. . .

She made to move away, but Rafe grabbed her again. He sighed, “What is it?” 

“I have to go,” she mumbled, and swam towards the beach. Rafe pulled her again, still so unsatisfied, because the moment was perfect, right?

They were kissing, he was telling her that he loved her. 

What else could he do? 

“What did I do?”

“Rafe, just let go,” she said, and pried her hands away. 

This time, he let her go. 

. . . 

Rafe thought it was finally time to make it right again. 

His relationship was getting rockier, and he intended for a smooth ride again. He straightened the dark blue suit he got from Chapel Hill, eyeing his watch from time to time. 

“Hey,” (Y/N) smiled, brushing her fingertips along his face. 

The gazebo was set exactly like the first time they met; all bright with fairy lights and smelled of floral candles. Her breath hitched at the sudden memory of that night. 

“You don’t have to do this,” she said. 

“I want to,” Rafe shrugged, helping her to her seat. He brushed her hair for good measure before going back to his seat. “You’re okay?”

She shifted uncomfortably, “Yeah.” 

They ate in silence. The only sound came from the clanking of the cutleries and the plate, and the constant sipping of the wine. 

Okay. Maybe what she did was wrong. 

But he’ll get out of it, right? 

He got money, the best lawyer in the states, and a high position. 

They wouldn’t put him through the death sentence.

Right? 

“I think it’s time,” Rafe said suddenly. (Y/N) looked up from her plate, her heart thumping wildly. Her eyes scanned the lake, and back to him. 

Rafe walked towards her, his mouth forming a bright smile. He reached for his pocket, pulling out a white box-

No. This couldn’t be.

(Y/N) won’t accept this. 

She simply just won’t. 

They’re too young. 

Too afraid. 

“No,” she said, scraping her chair to the back. “No, Rafe.” 

Rafe’s smile disappeared, his eyes turning low. “What?”

“No. I, I- I won’t accept it.” 

The diamond ring glimmered under the lantern, and (Y/N) noticed something similar from it. 

Her breath hitched.

Of course it would be the same promise ring she threw at him last year. Except it was updated. 

“It’s my mom’s ring,” he took a step closer. “What’s wrong? Don’t you want this?” 

More than anything. 

Her chest heaved, and she quickly put her hands up before him, as if protecting herself. “Rafe, I can’t. I’m so sorry.” 

He took a step closer, because god, he was so, so confused. He loved her more than anything in the world; more than himself. 

He was unsure about a lot of things, but not this. 

“Rafe,” she warned, still putting her hands up. “Please? I’m sorry.” 

“I don’t understand?” He whispered. His eyes were now filled with tears, and (Y/N) used all of her energy to stay away from him. 

For her own good. 

“I just can’t.” 

She stole a glance at his watch. She glanced at the lake again, her heart beating wildly. 

“Did I do something wrong?” 

“No,” she said. His forehead creased, and the tears were now completely wetting his suit. The ring was still left untouched in the box, still glimmering in the hope to be wrapped around someone’s finger. 

“Is it because-” he whispered. “Is it because of JJ? Did I do something wrong?”

“Rafe, stop,” she shook her head. “It’s not anyone’s fault. Let it go.” 

He took a deep breath. The box closed with a snap, and Rafe kept it back securely in his pocket. He held his head, walking away from her, muttering curses incoherently. 

“We can still be together.” 

“Fuck off,” he laughed. He pressed his back against one of the railings, closing his eyes and admitting to the darkness. His head felt light, and his fingers were trembling. 

“Rafe-” she walked towards him, placing a hand against his cheeks. He leaned into her, feeling her warmth, and didn’t try to stop the tears from falling. “I’m sorry, okay?” 

It was like falling down from a cliff; too fast, and everything happened in just a blink of an eye. 

Lights were coming from all directions, hitting them squarely on the face. Rafe protected his eyes from the red and blue lights, groaning, all the while searching for (Y/N). 

But she wasn’t there. 

“What the fuck?” He said to no one in particular, looking around wildly. Whatever the reason was, the police were coming to him; straight and fast. He knew he didn’t have time to reach for his car, not without (Y/N). 

“We’re not going to hurt you, son,” a voice bellowed from the lake. Rafe tried to see the figure, but the light was too blinding. “We’re going to make it fast and easy.” 

“What did I do?” He said, still trying to keep his cool, but it was failing miserably.

Anyone could see that Rafe Cameron was scared. 

Maybe it was the rejection from earlier. He didn’t know. What he was sure of was; he wanted to get away. 

The gazebo was guarded by the police now, and (Y/N) was nowhere to be seen. He sighed, taking a seat on her chair and grabbing the wine bottle. He downed the content, his heart beating wildly and his forehead clammy. 

It’s time. 

. . .

He had never felt this painful before. 

His head was throbbing, and his chest was soaring with agony in all the right places. He trembled as he sat up straight, trying to clear off his blurriness. 

It failed miserably when he reached for the toilet bowl, emptying his already empty stomach for the third time today. Rafe was sure 98% of the vomit was his bile, and he wished for nothing more than death. 

Everyone does this to him.

Every. Single. Person. 

Ward tried helping him, hiring the best lawyer in the United States of America, but the chances for him to be freed were low. So, so low. 

They told him that he did multiple offenses in one go.

He couldn’t name any of it, and he has accepted his fate anyways. He didn’t see the point in living when the girl he loved was no longer there in the light. 

His memory was fading really fast, and everything that happened around him seemed like a dream. He wanted to reach reality, but he wouldn’t allow himself. 

“Cameron, you got a visitor.” 

“Tell Ward that I’m okay with getting killed.” 

“It’s not your papa, boy,” the police sighed. “It’s a girl.” 

His head perked up at ‘girl’. Maybe it was Wheezie, coming to see how fucked up her brother is. He bit his lips, stopping the incoming tears from the thought of Wheezie alone. 

He followed the officer down the jail, his eyes scanning the other cellmates. Some jeered at him, knowing him as the ‘rich boy who never got himself into jail because of money’, and loving the fact that Rafe Cameron was finally getting the treatment he deserved. 

Rafe sat in the empty room, his eyes staring at the bent part of the metal table. He remembered this room clearly; the room he was forced into questioning and had seen him cry until there were no tears left to cry. 

He waited a few more seconds, only hearing some noisy sounds coming from the old air conditioning. 

“Okay, thank you.” 

His head turned to behind him, hearing her voice so clearly now that his heart was soaring again. He watched as she entered the small room, not looking at him, and placed herself before him. 

“Hi, Rafe.” 

Rafe stared at her, not saying anything. His thumbs were fiddling with each other under the handcuffs, and his legs were shaking wildly. 

He had missed her more than anything in the world. 

She looked so much healthier; her hair was up in a ponytail, and her cheeks were rosy and bright. 

She didn’t look miserable like him. 

“How are you?” 

What a stupid question. 

“What do you think?” He asked, tilting his head to one side. “Are you my therapist, or something? Did Ward hire some kind of a prison therapist to help me stay positive until the day I’m hanged?” 

She sucked in a breath. “Rafe, I’m trying to help you.” 

“Congra-tu-fucking-lations,” he smiled. “I’m getting the death sentence. Would you care to watch me getting hanged tomorrow? It'll be like seeing me play volleyball on the beach like last time.” 

Oh god.

She didn’t know.

How could she? 

They told her that everything will be alright, that he will be released after paying a large sum of money. It would be unfair to the sheriff, but at least no one is getting killed at the end of the day. 

How could she be so fucking naive? 

“I didn’t know.” 

He laughed, “It’s okay. Would you come and see me though? It’ll be a damn pleasure.” 

“Rafe, stop,” she said, clutching onto the table. “You’re not getting hanged, okay? I’m sorry. I’ll get you out of this.” 

He softened, finally realizing what he had been saying. He sighed, still fiddling with his thumb, and looked at her again. “There’s nothing else left to do. We did everything.” 

“No, no, I can fix this-”

“(Y/N),” he sighed. He placed his cuffed hands on the table, asking for hers, and she gladly accepted them. She bit her lips, failing to stop her tears now that she felt him around her again. 

Her sweet, sweet boy. 

“It’s okay,” he said. “I accepted it. It’s my fault. There’s nothing you can do.”

There was a knock on the door, and (Y/N) jerked slightly from the sudden commotion.

3 more minutes. 

“It doesn’t have to be this way.” 

“There’s no other way,” he whispered. “But you will always be my love, okay?” 

She held him in her fingers now, caressing his face. She ran his fingers over the new scratches on his face a few times, soothing the pain down, and placed a soft, longing kiss on his lips. 

He kissed her back, feeling better slightly, and only pulled away when the second knock rang throughout the room. 

“Yes, by the way.” 

“What?” He asked, confused. His eyes were teary because god, he wished he could do better for her. 

For them. 

“Yes to marrying you.” 

He laughed. What a stupid thing to say a day before his death sentence. But he loved it. More than anything else in the world. He softened, “I don’t have the ring.” 

She guided his hands, sliding an imaginary ring over her ring finger, and she examined it admiringly under the white light. 

“Thank you,” he said. 

It was brief; their moment of happiness, but it was enough for Rafe. He couldn’t think of anything better than this, knowing that the love of his life had accepted to be with him.

(Y/N) pulled him in for another kiss as the last knock blared, and they stayed in that position after the door was opened, revealing the same officer who had brought her in. She gave (Y/N) a warm pat on the back, allowing her to give Rafe another long, last kiss. 

He could still taste her when she walked out, her eyes all wet now, her mouth whimpering. 

He put a hand up, waved it slightly to the right, his own eyes glassy. 

“I love you,” he mouthed. 

. . . 

Rafe didn’t know what to expect the next morning. 

He watched many crime documentaries and movies involving a death penalty before, but he never truly put his mind on what he would be feeling on the walk to the inviting creature called death. 

After (Y/N), Ward came to see him. They didn’t say much, only exchanging a few words of “how are you?” And “I’m okay”. But it was clear Ward Cameron was broken at the sight of his son. 

He failed as a father. 

He wished he could’ve been a better father to Rafe, because god, he loved him too much. He even thought of admitting to the crime, but the crime was too strong on Rafe’s side. 

He gave his one and only son a last, longing hug. They held each other in complete silence, just feeling the moment until an officer came, pulling Rafe away. 

He didn’t even get to say I love you. 

“You’re okay?” 

Rafe looked at whoever was responsible to kill him beside him, and nodded. “Yep.” 

He looked down at his white suit and sighed. “Can I wear something proper?” 

The man pushed him into the room, annoyed at his impulsive words. 

This boy just killed a goddamn sheriff, and he was still joking? 

“Rot in hell,” he told Rafe, to which he accepted the remark willingly. 

The executioner motioned for him to step on the tool, and Rafe thought about the simpler times in his childhood where he was told to stand on a stool in middle school by a teacher for kicking on a boy who touched Sarah on her newly washed hair. 

He couldn’t even remember the last time he saw her. 

The executioner, blinded by the black cloth around his head, looped the rope around his neck, and Rafe involuntarily swallowed his saliva. 

He looked down at his fingers, imagining his wedding ring. He smiled, looking up to the ceiling, watching as the white light blinded his eyes. 

Maybe in another life. 

-

@okayshoto @joselyn001 @onceuponateenagetrash @dyingsleeping @iwannabeapogue @meaganjm @rafesobxs @flossy2929 @unfortunatekiwitrash @scottybitch @asimpwriter @amaya124 @tommy-tommo @thatshithurted8 @fallincindy @marvelwhor3 @rafeswh0ree @kookap @supernaturallydc-blog @blank-velvet @alaniskauany @kiiim8 @witchywrter @kaitlyn2907 @heyimflo @overcookedpastasause @tsukkiswifeey @spidey-d00d @anonymousobxfan @gotmeinloveagain @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @lexi-writes @classydragonthingknight @belongtoyou-u @badbussylol @savannah-elliott @angelreyesgirl100 @haterpenny @beehappyyy @alwaysclassyeagle @maybankslut @kayleea122 @clearbolts @lovelyxtom @christianaevans @jemimah-b99 @opierdalacz @dangerdolns @wildflowerliv @classygirlything21 @pogueslandia

[storiesofsvu]

Trust Your Gut

Casey x Fem!reader Warnings: language, non detailed physical assault (mainly the aftermath, no descriptions of the actual attack), hurt/comfort, minor angst, fluff otherwise.

This came from another request from @bluetodie​ S6 Ep20 where her girlfriend is the one in her office instead of Olivia before she’s attacked, but they fight over her dropping the case before r leaves. Episode Summary: Benson & Stabler find a rape murder vic w/$$ shoved in her mouth, after some investigating, at a vigil they find a woman who knows of a bunch of undocumented immigrant women who have been raped by this same dude but for obvious reasons don’t want to come forward. They talk to 1 girl who hands over the $ he gave her, they find the prints of a lawyer (Bradley Cooper) & track down his client but they don’t have anything to pin it on him yet. The girl who talks to the cops gets taken by ICE, then admits to her brother what happens, because she’s “no longer a virgin she’s considered damaged goods and won’t be able to find a husband” her super religious brother is upset by this, blames Casey and ends up assaulting her in her office.

*****

“I dunno Case, this seems sketchy if you ask me…” You girlfriend quirked a brow at you from across her desk, pausing her pen. She’d been working late on a major case, having to bail on dinner you brought take out to her, you ended up looking over the files (which obviously wasn’t exactly ethical, but hey…) you’d simply gotten a bad vibe.

“Sketchy? Sounds like real legal jargon to me.”  You rolled your eyes, as she continued working.

“You know what I mean….there’s a lot off with the whole situation. You’ve got this douche hot shot lawyer covering for his very rich client, who’s also very rich mother happens to have connections with the police chief and mayor?” You were worried, cases like this always ended up rather messy, at best they took a tole on Casey in a way that completely interrupted your home life and relationship, at worst they ended with the A.D.A. getting threats. Hell, she was already so involved with it that she’d barely been home since it had started.

“Baby,” She tossed down the pen this time, rubbing a hand over her face, “You’re being ridiculous.” She was frustrated now, she was thankful for the time spent with you, and the dinner, but truth to be told she really wanted to finish her grand jury speech.

“Ridiculous?” You could feel the air in the room change, “This guy got ICE involved and tried to have your ONE witness deported, then flat out denied it to your face!”

“You know as well as I do that ICE just loves so stick their noses where they don’t belong, it’ll be fine.”

“And what about you? You were getting threats last summer when you tried that case against that Lieutenant’s son.” She flat out rolled her eyes at that, huffing out a groan.

“You really want to do this right now?”

“Do what?!” You snapped, perhaps a little too harshly,

“You think I should drop the case, don’t you?” You sighed heavily,

“I’ve just got this gut feeling about this, something doesn’t seem safe!”

“You sound like a cop.” Casey scoffed, moving back to her paperwork.

“I want you to drop the case.” She threw her pen down hastily, aggravated, voice raised louder than before.

“And I want you to turn around and walk out that door.” You were taken aback, frozen in the moment, sputtering for words.

“Excuse me?!”

“You heard me! We’ll talk about this later, when I’m DONE work.” She spoke as if she was scolding a misbehaving child

“Wow…” You stood, gathering your things quickly as you moved to leave the room, stopping at the door to turn back to her “You know what, keep the case, find out the hard way what fucking happens, I don’t give a shit.” The last part you sneered through your teeth, slamming the door for extra affect on your way out, if she was going to treat you like a fucking child you may as well earn it.

Storming your way out of the DA’s office you started off down the street, you knew there was a bar around the corner, you sure as hell weren’t going to sit at home waiting around twiddling your thumbs for Casey to finish work at some ungodly hour and come yell at you some more.

An hour or so had passed, you’d significantly cooled down after a couple glasses of wine, and kept overplaying the fight in your head. You’d been irritated with how much time Casey was spending at the office, and with the squad recently, you barely saw each other anymore. You lived together, hell you even worked from home most days, yet the bed was always cold when you got into it, and empty when you woke up. You’d let the worry build up over the past few weeks until it exploded out in completely the wrong way, you sighed wearily, settling your tab, knowing you owed her an apology. You really did give a shit, you gave all of the shits, hence wanting her to drop the case.

Upon entering her hallway, you noticed her office was dark and you felt the hairs on the back of your neck prickle. If she’d left for home she would’ve texted or called asking where you were, the two of you liked to sort out any kind of disagreements as soon as you could. You pulled your phone out, finger hovering above Olivia’s name as you crept towards Casey’s office, hesitantly pushing the door open, it appeared empty, so you flicked on the overhead light.

The view in front of you caused you to yelp, gasping instinctively, the office was trashed, but more importantly,

“Casey!” An almost sob wrenched its way from your lips as you dived down next to her unconscious body, one hand gently rolling her over, as the other hit “call” on your phone. “Casey…baby…” The tears burned in your eyes, blurring your view as you tried to assess what the fuck had happened. There was a slowly growing pool of blood near her head, her lip was split and she already had bruises forming on her face and neck. You pulled your hand up to your mouth, thankfully stopping before it got there as you realized it was covered in blood. “Fuck.” A brief mutter as you tore off your sweater, pressing it heavily against the open wound on her abdomen.

“Y/N? Y/N?” The dim voice of Benson came through your phone that you’d completely forgotten about, tossed aside in order to try and save Casey. You took the flash of a second to hit the speaker button,

“Liv! I need help!” You voice was etched with sorrow and fear.

“Y/N, take a breath…where are you? What’s going on?”

“I’m…I’m at Casey’s office…” Something wet hit your hand holding against Casey, when had you started crying? “I don’t know what happened. Fuck..Liv, I need an ambulance, she’s out, and there’s….there’s blood everywhere…”

“Stay there! I’m calling a bus, I’ll be there as soon as I can!”

***

Olivia sat beside you in the waiting room of Bellevue, a reassuring hand on your back as it shook with silent sobs, tears streaming down your face. Casey had been taken up to surgery, and the doctors didn’t have much to tell you but that they were doing everything they could. Benson felt your shakes and shudders slow to a rumble as your breathing returned to normal, she offered you another Kleenex, squeezing your shoulder tightly.

“Y/N?” She gently asked, your head turned to look up at her face, “I need to know what happened before you got to Casey’s office…” You took a big sniff, wiping your face free of tears for a moment, sitting back in annoyingly uncomfortable chair.

“I…I brought dinner to her office, I asked her to drop the case…”

“Why?”

“I just had a bad feeling, my gut told me something like this was going to happen.” You hated every part of your being in that moment, you should’ve made her leave with you, fought it out and stayed in the office.

“Sounds like a cop instinct.” Liv smiled softly as you snorted in response,

“That’s what she said…”

“She refused to drop the case?”

“Of course.” You threw your hands out, rolling your head back in frustration, “You know just as well as I do how stubborn she is.” You took a shaky breath, “We got into a fight over it, she kicked me out, when I came back, the office was trashed and she was….she…”You hiccoughed, burying your face in your hands as Olivia gave a gentle rub to your back.

“Y/N, this isn’t your fault. Whoever did this would’ve just hurt you too.”

“Liv, that’s not the problem.” A new wave of tears threatened to spill over your already red raw eyes, the brunette’s brows furrowed at your comment, “The last thing I said to her was that I didn’t give a shit if something bad happened to her over this case.” That was the tipping point to another wave of tears raining down your cheeks, you curled over yourself, still aware of Olivia’s hands around your shoulders.

“Hey…hey…I’m sure she knew it was in the heat of the moment, Casey knows how much you love her, and she loves you so much, she never shuts up about you.” That gained Liv a glance from your face, she passed you what must’ve been the 652nd tissue of the night. You opened your mouth to reply just as a doctor cut you off.

“Detective Benson?” The three of you glanced between each other, he gestured for Olivia to come to him, she confusedly looked over at you, you waved her off.

“Go,” Your demeanour had slid past sad to annoyed, “They won’t tell me anything, I’m not family.”

“But—“ You cut her off with a scoff,

“Doesn’t matter, legalities of it…go.” She squeezed your hand supportively, listening inventively to the doctor before thanking him, crossing back over to you. Your eyes were trained on her the entire time, heart stammering in your chest, you tried to eavesdrop but blood was pounding in your ears the entire time. Olivia had a small smile when she sat back down beside you,

“She’s out of surgery.” You let out a huge breath you hadn’t even realized you’d been holding in, “Doctor said it’s probably going to be a tough recovery, she was beaten pretty bad.” You felt like you needed another sob fest, but you clearly needed to drink some water because there was nothing left in you to cry out,

“How badly?” You managed to whisper out,

“Concussion, likely from blunt force trauma, hence the head laceration, multiple bruises and contusions, a couple broken ribs, one that fractured externally…” Your brain spun, you remembered something hard when you were trying to control the bleeding but thought it was something in her pocket, “Doctor said she would’ve bled out if you hadn’t found her when you did.”

“When can I see her?”

**

The rest of the night and into the morning was spent curled up in a chair next to Casey’s hospital bed, you held her hand gingerly, trying not to hurt her anymore than she already was. She was still unconscious, nurses said she’d likely be that way for a while, until the anesthesia wore off, and her body decided she’d had enough rest. They moved easily around you while they checked vitals and updated her chart throughout the night. You couldn’t help but feel a raw burning in your gut, seeing the woman you loved so dearly covered in black and blue marks, bandages holding her together, IV in her arm. At some point around the time the sun started to rise your own body gave into exhaustion, still holding her hand, your head found its way onto your folded arms against the bed.

You felt the warmth of daylight, a whisper of movement on the top of your scalp, you hummed lightly in appreciation, your senses slowly waking up, not fully remembering where you were until the gentle beeping rose you fully, either a nurse was playing with your hair, or Casey was conscious! You shot up, nearly straining your neck,

“Case!” You dryly sobbed, you wanted to lunge at her, pull her into the deepest embrace possible, but knew that wasn’t a good idea. She had a half lopsided small grin on her face as she took you in, her thumb stroking the back of your hand.

“What happened?” Her voice was groggy and she was majorly confused, her head pounded and her body ached, she attempted to shift in the bed, wincing heavily at the pain in her abdomen. “I thought I was meeting you for dinner?” Your heart stopped,

“Wh…what?”

“I was with Liv…in the squad room…what happened?” She looked around gingerly, her brain was foggy, it was slowly apparent to her she was in the hospital, and in a lot of pain, “Someone saw, right?”

“Baby…” You reached up to stroke the unbruised side of her face, “We…we were in your office…I brought you dinner…”You debated if you should even bring up the reason you were absent in her attack, it left you with even more guilt than before, “After I left…you were attacked…” Her brows furrowed, turmoil taking over her face.

“I…I can’t remember…” You noticed her eyes get glassy with tears, you moved to lightly sit on the side of the bed, your hand on her cheek to ground her in reality.

“It’s okay baby, you have a concussion. You might not remember…maybe things will come back to you.”

“Why’d you leave?” You sighed, dropping her gaze, if you came to her office after hours, you always left together, it was tradition.

“You…we…there may have been a disagreement…” You muttered, unable to meet her eyes, “Baby I’m so sorry.” You choked back another sob, “I shouldn’t’ve left…I should’ve made you come with me, then maybe this wouldn’t have happened…”

You were interrupted by a nurse at that point, you backed off the bed, letting them do their job, sending a quick text to Olivia that Casey was conscious, but couldn’t remember the attack. Turned out Elliot had spent the night going over security footage and they already had the guy, thank god.

**

Casey had spent the following week in the hospital before being discharged to bed rest for minimum of a week before she was told to “take it easy” as she started PT into her recovery. You’d doted on her hand and foot, making sure she was getting enough rest, the right food, and not overdoing (or under-doing) it on the pain medication. Casey had been healing better than you’d expected, the bruises faded to the ugly green yellow from purple and black, her head lac was practically sealed, her ribs were settling back to where they were supposed to be (though that incision was still pretty rough on her) and she’d mentioned that things were simply “really blurry and cloudy” rather than completely black after she left the squad room. Currently, you sat against the headboard, Casey curled up on your chest between your legs while you absentmindedly played with her hair, your other fingers linked through hers sitting on your thigh. Your most recent Netflix binge played on the TV for the millionth hour.

“You wanted me to drop the case…” She murmured against your skin softly, the hand in her hair frozen momentarily.

“What?” Your voice was quiet, just above a whisper.

“You wanted me to drop the case…that’s why you left…” You sighed, happy her memories were coming back but also worried about the fight blowing things up again.

“Yeah…but Casey…fuck…I shouldn’t have left, I’m so sorry I did…” She stopped you before you could continue, kissing your intertwined hands lovingly.

“Your gut was right…maybe you should think about being a cop.” You laughed at that, and could see the smile on her face,

“Yeah right! The day I become a cop is the day you quit being a lawyer.” She hummed in response, snuggling deeper against you.

“I know we must’ve fought that day baby, and I’m sorry. I don’t know what I said but I do know that I fucking love you more than anything.” Casey readjusted, wincing slightly, so that she could see your face, “Don’t ever forget it.” You beamed down at her, happy tears daring to make their appearance in your eyes.

“I’m sorry too Case. It was uncalled for. And wow do I ever love you,” You tucked your head to kiss the top of her hair, “Never forget it okay.”

“I won’t,” She kissed your chest lightly, “I also won’t forget to trust your gut ever again.” You chuckled at that, stroking down her face. “And next time you want me to drop a case, I will. You mean more to me than work ever could. I hope you know that.”

“Only if you know you mean the world to me baby.” She smiled brightly up at you, squeezing your hand as she turned her attention back to the TV, cuddling her way deeper against you, humming in satisfaction. You were both incredibly happy, you knew that fights would come and go, you knew you’d have way worse ones than that, but you knew that at the end of the day, you were coming home to each other, and you’d sort them out, able to curl up in each others loving arms by nightfall.

_______ @bisexualcrowley @natasha-danvers @ineedafinghug @veteranwerewolf95 @imlike-so-gaydude @wannabe-fic-reader @gaylorrds @thatesqcrush @altsvu @disneyfan624 @svulife-rl @svushots @gay-ass-bitch @lesbianspacecowboy @venablemayfairgoode @whimsicallymad @mysticfalls01 @oliviaswifey @thatgaygiraffesquirrelgirl @swimmingstudentchaos891 @screenee @nocreditinthestraightworld @beccabarba @cmmndrwidw @bumblebear30 @enduringalexblake @molllss @wosoimagines @solemnnova @lawandorderimagines @infernumlilith @yourtaletotell @australiancarisi @cerberus-spectre @wandas-wife @emskisworld @wistfulfemme @thestarrynightslover @disn3y7 @hbkpop @samwithnoplan @narvaldetierra @dxtery @1-lindsay83 @mmemalwa @poisonedcrowns @alexusonfire

[libraryofloveletters]

Ok awesome so I kinda want an angsty young to present thing with hotch and the reader? (If that even makes sense) Like hotch was a bit older than her but they went to law school together? And she was always sorta bratty and sneaky but he loved her anyway? And like a past scene with him bailing her out of jail because she got in a fight and then present she gets mad at the unsub and he has to 🌌discipline🌌 her? Sorry if you don't understand or don't want to do it, and thank you for your time!

Let’s Do It Again  

Aaron Hotchner x Reader 

Warnings: Fem!reader, cursing, use of the word “slut”, mentions of prostitution, being in jail, illusions of sex/hooking up, a little steamy making out.

Category: Angst

Word Count: 2k

Author’s Note: Hopefully I've written it the way you liked hun! 

*Bolded Italics are flashbacks*

----

15 years ago. 

That’s when you met Aaron Hotchner. He only had a year left of law school while you had just started that year. He was the TA in your ethics of justice class, he always left snarky remarks on your papers even if you got an A. You were tired of his sarcasm so you went to go see him. 

“Come in” he called from the other side of the door. You walked in and shut the door behind you, 

“Y/n, what can I-” 

“What’s your problem ?” 

He looked up and nodded towards the chair in front of his desk, you sat down. “Is something wrong?” he asked, tapping his pen on the inside of his palm. “What’s with the comments on my papers? There’s literally nothing wrong with them. You give me an A and then write about how I haven't figured out how to write it properly. How does that make sense?” Aaron laughed. 

Is this guy seriously fucking laughing right now ? 

“I wondered how long it would take for you to come see me. The first time was a mistake, I thought your paper was Mr. Shelby’s and I meant to scribble it out but I forgot. When I saw your face, I had to keep doing it. It was too funny not too” He told you. You weren't sure if you should laugh or be embarrassed, you just yelled at your TA because he made a mistake.

“Okay well.. stop that shit” you picked up your bag and walked out before he could say anything else to you. 

From that day on, you and Aaron developed a strange friendship. You fought constantly but you supported and helped each other whenever you could. 

The two of you worked together at the BAU. He was the unit chief and your name was up for a position on the team. You had forgotten that you applied, but when you got the call, you accepted the position without even questioning it or asking for details. 

You walked in on your first day to be greeted by a brightly dressed woman. “Oh! You must be y/n! I've heard so much about you!” She gushed as she walked you up to the unit chief’s office. She introduced herself as Penelope, you automatically knew you’d like her.

“Really ?” you looked at her, “from who?” you asked. 

“Well, the boss man of course!” She walked you to the door, knocking on it before opening it. The name on the door read Aaron Hotchner 

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Aaron was going to be your new boss ? You’re in for a hell of a ride. 

“Sir, the new agent is here” she smiled, letting you step in before stepping out herself. “Y/n, good to see you again” He smiled at you from his desk. “Aaron” you nodded before sitting on his desk. “Still hate chairs huh?” he chuckled, making you roll your eyes. 

You were in his office watching him mark papers. You wanted to see your mark before you left for the holidays so he told you to come with him and that he would mark yours first. You paced back and forth in his office, moving things around and flipping through the other papers. 

“These suck major balls. I feel bad that you’ve got to mark these” 

“Yeah, yours is the worst.” 

The two of you chuckled. “Can you sit down? I can’t focus with you moving around constantly” you rolled your eyes at him “yeah whatever” 

You moved your bag off the chair and went to sit down

“y/n! not there!” 

Your ass had already hit the floor, “WHAT THE FUCK DUDE!” 

“Yeah, that chair is broken” he said, trying to hold back his laughter. “Fuck you Aaron” you rolled your eyes, laying back on the floor. “I know you want too but this isn't the time darling” 

His eyes were on the paper, he couldn't see the blush his words brought to your face.

----- 

3 weeks into your job at the BAU and you’re undercover at the bar. You just happened to fit the unsub’s type and somehow Hotch convinced you to go undercover. You’re sitting at the bar flirting with the unsub when he asks you to join him in the bathroom. You mentally groaned, you glanced over at Derek who gave you a nod before you walked off. 

You were in the hallway with him, he walked past the bathroom door. “Hey, you passed the bathroom” you shouted to him, he tugged on your arm and pulled you out the backdoor. You really hoped that Derek and Aaron were out there. 

“F.BI! Put your hands up!” Aaron shouted as Derek tackled him. You stepped over to Spencer who had a jacket waiting for you, “thank you bubba” you smiled at him as he held the jacket for you to put on. Aaron glanced over to you when you called Spencer bubba

Back at the station, you were sitting at the desk as Derek pushed the unsub into the interrogation room. 

“You’re up” Aaron looked at you, 

“Didn’t I do enough tonight ?” you got up and walked to the room. 

“Hello beautiful” the unsub smiled at you, you pushed back the urge to throw up. “It’s actually agent l/n” you said as you sat down, he nodded. “Yeah, makes sense. You're too pretty to go to a bar dressed like a slut” 

“Tell me something” you looked over at him

“Anything darling” he leaned forward. 

“Why’d you do it? They were innocent” he sat there for a minute, taking in what you said. “They were worth nothing, selling their bodies and for what? They’re nothing but a bunch of sluts” he spat. You nodded and chuckled, “what’s so funny agent?” he looked up at you. 

“Just like your momma right?” you asked him, he looked at you confused. 

“Oh you didn’t know? All those nights where she left you to go to work, she was, what did you say? oh yes “selling their bodies and worth nothing” Do you know what I think ? I think that you’re just a sexist son of a bitch that isn’t worth the air he breathes” you smiled at him sweetly before getting up. His face was expressionless, “You’re just like them too agent l/n, a slut that’s worth nothing. I’m sure you only got your position by sleeping with someone” 

You were tired and angry, you weren’t in the mood for his shit. “Shut up” you mumbled. “Oh did I hit a nerve agent ? Why don’t you go relieve some stress with agent Hotchner ?” You looked up at him. 

“What did you say?” 

“You heard me agent” 

You couldn’t handle his attitude, you picked up the chair and threw it at him. Aaron walked in “enough. y/n, get out” you rolled your eyes and pushed passed Aaron. 

You had been helping Spencer pack up the evidence boxes. “I’ve got it bubba, go get something to eat. I’ll put these away and come join you.” you picked up the box from the table, “are you sure?” Spencer asked you before picking up his jacket, you nodded and walked out of the conference room and into the storage room. 

“Y/n, what the hell was that?” Aaron asked you as he walked into the storage room, shutting the door behind him. “What the hell was what?” you asked, pushing the boxes up onto the shelf, “you know exactly what I'm talking about, this is exactly why I had to bail you out years ago” 

---

“I want my phone call!” you shouted at the cops, “I know my rights! I’m a lawyer!” They didn’t listen to you, so you did the logical thing and kept yelling. Eventually, they got fed up of your yelling so they let you have your phone call. You called Aaron even though you knew he’d be pissed. You were sitting in the holding cell for what felt like eternity, “L/n! bail’s been posted” the cop called as you stood up. 

“Hey Hotch” you smiled at him, your heels were in your hands and your hair was a mess. To be completely honest, you were still kinda tipsy but you weren’t going to tell him that. “Stop smiling, let’s go y/n” he took your shoes from you and walked towards the door, opening it for you. 

“Okay grumpy pants, I'm going” you walked to his car, getting in and making yourself comfortable, not before grabbing the sweater he had on his backseat. He tossed your shoes into the back of the car

“Hey! Those are red bottoms, be careful!” 

“I don’t care” he grumbled as he started driving. 

“Who pissed in your cereal?” you asked him 

“Y/n, it’s 4:36 in the fucking morning and I had to come bail you out of jail because you threw a chair at someone. I’m sorry if I'm not in the mood to talk” 

You glanced at the clock in his car, you didn’t realize that it was already morning. “How much was bail?” you mumbled, looking out the window. 

“2 grand” he kept driving.

“WHAT! I DIDN’T EVEN HIT HIM!” you shouted, your head whipping around so fast you probably gave yourself whiplash. 

“Stop yelling. I only paid a grand. I pulled some strings so you own me.” 

----

You chuckled when he brought up that he bailed you out all those years ago. 

“If I remember correctly, I paired you back didn't I?”

“That isn’t the point y/n. What you did in there was wrong, you can’t lose your cool like that.”

You rolled your eyes again. Aaron always had that effect on you, a constant state of eye rolling. “Stop that” he stepped closer to you, you took a step back, your back was against the shelves. “Stop what?” you knew he was talking about your eye rolling, he had always hated it. You love to do it whenever he filled in for the professor, you hated when he taught. He took forever and never let you leave early. 

“Don’t roll your eyes,” he whispered. His lips pressed right to your ear, his cheek against yours. 

“Make me stop”  you challenged him.

He just chuckled “you really don't want to see what I can make you do” 

“Maybe I do” your hands made their way to his hair, tugging on the back of it. 

He kissed you, it was rough and needy. His hands were all over you, the two of you wanted this, you needed this but you were both too stubborn to say anything. He grabbed your ass and squeezed hard enough to leave a small bruise, his lips attached to your neck sucking on your sweet spot. 

You and Aaron had always had a connection between you guys, it was more than sexual. You genuinely cared about each other, the sexual attraction was just a plus. 

30 minutes had passed and the two of you were still in there. The top button of your shirt had come off with Aaron’s tugging, you could see all the hickeys Aaron left on your neck down to your breast. His hair was a mess with a few hickeys on his neck too. There was no denying that you two had just had sex, it was so obvious. Even if you came out at separate times, the team would figure it out. 

“Well, that was fun” you ran your hand through his hair, trying to settle it from all your pulling. 

“It was” he gave you a small kiss. 

“Let’s do it again sometime ?” You smiled at him before walking out and shutting the door. 

----

tagging: @iconicc cause she was super excited 

[themoonslore]

Succubi and incubi teen wolf fan fic part 1

Get Off (Me) by KouriArashi

Word count: 77707 chapters 9/9 steter ( TW r@pe but not steter)

Stiles hates being left behind with Peter while the pack is fighting monsters, because he never knows exactly what Peter will get up to.

The Sundering Kiss by trilliath

Word count : 92466 chapters 9/9 sterek

Stiles is a young adult incubus who has made his way to New York City. After his first makeout session ended in death, he left Beacon Hills to try and understand what he was and protect the people he cared about. But being his father's son, in name if not by birth, he's never been able to accept the idea of killing innocent humans to feed himself. So in order to survive and keep his morals both, he travels across the country feeding on sexual predators.

Derek is a NYC werewolf cop, who dedicates his life to protecting and serving both the human and fae communities - protecting them from each other if necessary. When a string of succubus or incubus kills starts hitting his city, and Derek runs into Stiles at a crime scene, Derek wants to find a way to help this neophyte fae survive under the radar before someone else puts him down. Too bad Stiles seems to run away whenever Derek gets near him.

The Sweetest of Words (Have the Bitterest Taste) by omni

Word count: 9902 chapter 1/1 sterek

“Ah, yeah, Desiree, I told you I was meeting someone. Well, that someone is Derek. My boyfriend. We’re totally in love.” His heart was racing and Derek was holding him so tight it was difficult to turn enough to face the young woman. What he did see of her had his breath catching on fishhooks in his throat. She was normally a relatively pretty girl, with cute round cheeks and large dark eyes, but in that moment she looked…terrifying. Her cheeks seemed gaunt, her eyes glowing like they were little windows peeking into a deep pit of raging flame.

(Or: Five or so years after the show. Stiles is in college, and finds himself getting stalked by a succubus. Derek's determined that the best way to thwart her is to prove that he and Stiles are madly in love. It's not really as much of an act as either seems to think.)

Devoted by Jerakeen

Word count: 5089 chapter 1/1 sterek

Stiles expected the incubus to be something ethereal, otherworldly, inhumanly beautiful. This guy looks like a lawyer.

Dangerous Things by Rallamajoop

Word count : 143768 chapters 18/18 Sterek

You want me to hold you down while we do this, Stiles?" says the incubus. In one sudden movement it has Stiles’ arm wrenched over his head and pinned it by the wrist below the headboard. "Would that make this easier for you?"

Stiles swallows. "Maybe?" This whole thing where he gets the chance to opt out of having mindblowing sex with a demon of questionable intentions is causing him more unnecessary stress than he wants to deal with. Can't it just get on with ravishing him already?

"You really think that’s what we do? You think we need to? Ever?" The incubus' breath ghosts warm against his neck. (Actually, Stiles has half an idea that ‘thinking’ isn’t much of good description of anything that’s gone through his head for a good few minutes. It’s so unfair of it to pick on him for that.)

AKA: The Medieval AU where Derek is an incubus and Stiles is so, so far out of his depth right now.

Hot Pocket Ratio by ShippersList

Word count : 12337 Chapters 5/5 sterek

At the threat of the alpha pack, all Derek wants is to keep his pack safe and alive. As the last resort, he tries summoning a demon to help with fighting the alpha pack. He gets a bit more than he bargained for.

Or, the story where the classic demon deal of "Will you pledge your firstborn to me?" takes some unexpected turns.

Part 1.

[raguna-blade]

Persona 5, Makoto, And Cops

So, like...We can all agree that it's weird that Makoto want's to be a cop in the game right? Aside from general cop bastardry irl, there's like precisely one police officer in the entirety of P5 who's at all a clear cut good guy and even he basically just says out and out, super explicitly that the cops are like...Not great.

At BEST, at BEST, they ensure the laws are followed, but that doesn't always equate to justice being served, and it is hilariously easy for them to be made into tools of opression, and to be made into stooges of people who want to do wrong.

Like Zenkichi out and out says “You really shouldn't be a cop.”

But Makoto still want's to be, despite knowing this, despite agreeing with this, and it's a weird gap right? Of perhaps everyone in the group, she should know best how following the rules and laws can lead to people doing pretty screwed up things if her little stint stalking and then blackmailing joker and company.

And she's just a student council president you know? It's not like she has anywhere near the same authority as a police officer, and unlike Chie who (for sake of argument here) has pretty objectively Upstanding Excellent Cops in her neighborhood except for you know the one who decidedly wasn't but P4 isn't really dealing with Laws and their problems, so them not leaning into law enforcement is a problem makes sense. Dojima is a just dude trying to do his best and even here the only other cop of note is uh...A straight up monster who abused his position of authority to get away with terrible things.

But back to P5, like...The game isn't subtle about it's feelings about law enforcement. Every Single Shadow is represented in the field by varying kinds of law enforcement operative types. Guards, knights, actual cops, prison wardens, etc etc. The Ultimate Big Bad basically posits that humans can't follow the rules and for that need to be severely punished and so laws and rules more or less end up being the big bad foe here.

The motivation to be a cop is well...Painted as whole heartedly misguided at best. We never get to know anything about Makoto's dad, and he's her inspiration for that goal, but at the same time, we get to see the other daughter who I think it's safe to say ALSO had him as something of a goal and...Sae also doesn't exactly come off as a perfect avatar of justice here either.

She very clearly WANTS to be, no doubt, and the massive shock of the games events does change her trajectory, but she's been deep down in the swamp of the system and she knows intimately that well...It's a shit show at best.

So i'm circling back to it as...Why? What's the deal here with what the game is going for theme wise? The idea of internal reform I suppose is being suggested, but the game's also make it remarkably clear that that actually won't work.

I'd say even textually, not even dipping into subtext, the game is out and out saying that you cannot reform a system from the inside like that when it's that far gone. Between P5 and P5S it's made abundantly clear that even what is functionally in a metaphysical sense a hard system check of things going out of whack law wise like the phantom thieves (what with their flipping of the table) they can't actually solve the problems of the system itself being super fucked. At best they can stop it from going full on malignant, but the cancer is still there. If the people don't actually band together to overturn things that are broken, especially when it is well within their hands to do, it's not going to improve, it's not going to get better. It's a delaying action at best.

Like the Phantom Thieves can't save everyone. Akira Konoe bluntly makes it clear when he asks them and the PT can only really go...No we can't. If we knew sure, but we don't possess the ability to do that. It's outside our ability entirely to do so for everyone.

So...Back to Makoto then. It's abundantly clear, I think, that she's very much of the mold of she want's to be a cop to protect people. That's what the job description is, even if that's not what it is in reality. And I think we can at least say that she's not so naive by this point to think that if she goes in she's going to be able to reform things, not by herself. It's worth noting that her intended goal is to become a Police Commisioner, and basically form her own police branch under her rules and regulations which...Fair. Fine. There's something to be said for being an apt demonstration but it doesn't actually fix the problem at it's core does it?

Which I think pushes this into the funky grey area of things because I don't think she's precisely...Wrong to want to do this. As stated, I think the games make it abundantly clear that one person on their own can't make radical and deep changes. You need people and momentum and everyone willing to work and all that.

Certainly, I think, it would be tremendously easier to reform an organization if someone in that organization is willing to make calls against what they're doing presently. But by the same token, it's also clear if you're entering an organization to try and change that organization it's uh...Not precisely a good bet. Now there's something to be said for being willing to try it I think. While the game doesn't exactly indicate how it'll go, we can imagine that following the events of the game that Makoto wouldn't be crushed under the weight of it all and change for the worse....Though the question of if she'd be able to make her goals a reality are a different question. She has allies in that fight for sure, between Zenkichi, Sae, and (from all indications) Kaburagi, there is at least some element of reform at play, but it's also well...

The big ass conspiracy didn't exactly come out of nowhere no? And the cops at every level more or less were compromised to some level or another, and this includes these prospective allies.

But then, I guess this goes back to the Phantom Thieves themselves. They're not able to actually fundamentally fix the problems at play. They stop the worst excesses certainly, the most terminal aspects of it, although in doing so they are very nearly destroyed outright and with barely a thought. In that spirit, Of doing what you can with what you can it changes the read on the decision at least somewhat.

The Daughter of a well decorated cop, sister of a particularly well known ex prosecuter now defense lawyer, in addition to being a top honor student type, certainly gives her a bit more leverage to attack the problem, especially in the sense of getting into a position to actually change things. To say nothing of Joanna.

Taking her awakening quote into consideration

"Have you decided to tread the path of strife...? Very well. Let us proceed with our contract at once. I am thou, thou art I... You have finally found your own justice... Please... Never lose sight of it again. This memorable day marks your graduation from your false self..."

and the general story the game presents of Joanna as one who rose to the top of the organization she was in and shook it to it's core (doesn't particularly matter how true that is in reality, merely what the game says for this instance) it's clear that indeed that's her gambit, if not the specific trickster archetype she's supposed to embody (as opposed to Joker's completely outside the law rogue, Anne's Femme Fatale, or Morganna's Layabout by Day Vigilante by Night as off the cuff examples), of someone who appeared to all eyes to be a harmless simple part of the system until it was simply too late for them to do anything about it.

There is a solid arc there, and a story to be told, and I think in that light makes the continued ambition make sense especially given what we're shown of well...Uh, everything to do with law enforcement in P5.

Now if they actually communicated that idea WELL is um...probably a different story. I think it's there to see, but I can easily see this being overlooked if this was the actual intent. Though, thinking about it, the way the various trickster archetypes are shown to function isn't quite as clear as it could be, though I think there's something to say for looking into that.

Later though.

[kdramafeminist]

Performative Badassery & Women in Kdramas

When I said I wrote an essay, I meant essay. This is a long one! Grab a snack and venture below the read more. I’ll see you at the end!

----------

You know the feeling. The drama begins. Our female main lead walks onto screen. She’s a successful businesswoman, a hotshot detective, clever lawyer, smartass retail worker, etc, etc. She stares down a random man to prove she’s the powerful one here. Or kicks some ass. Or rattles off a bunch of demands to her workers. Or talks fast to show off her intelligence.

Then she meets the male lead. There’re fireworks. Slowly we find our female lead has a softer side. Good to know. 3-dimensional and complex characters are important. It’s nice to see women on-screen who are both capable and emotional. Kick ass and feminine. 

But slowly... something starts to go wrong. She seems to be crying more than showing literally any other kind of emotion. And is it just me or is she getting saved and manhandled and flustered quite a lot for a woman who we were told was so well put together? Sure, the circumstances are extreme. But they’re extreme for the male lead too and he seems to be managing just fine for some reason. Also, if both of them are ordinary people with no on-screen fighting experience, how come he’s so great at throwing fists out of nowhere and she’s busy keeping hidden or needing rescuing? Exactly how many times can one person just faint like that without anyone checking to see if she has a medical condition?

By the drama’s end our lead has gone through trials and tribulations. She’s fallen in love too, I’m happy for her. But... now that the story’s ending and she’s getting in one last chance to show us she’s a “badass”, why am I left feeling hollow? She’s showing us how tough she is but... we ALL spent this whole drama watching her have absolutely no agency or such a little amount that she might as well have been trying to put out a fire with a water-pistol. It’s almost like her previous badassery (in whatever form it may have been - I don’t mean badass only in terms of being able to throw a good punch) was just a façade. A way to hook in female viewers like me who want to see something more than a wilting wallflower or one-trick Cinderella. But the tiniest knock and the cardboard house collapses.

And no matter how many times we get throwaway lines about her being “the smartest/toughest/scariest/most capable one here” it doesn’t ring true compared to the actual character we’re watching.

Rom-coms, melos and sagueks especially (but many more genres besides), have a real problem when it comes to performative badassery in their female characters. The writers give us a female lead they claim is hyper competent, but the reality is totally different. Any plot that features romance, almost always features this. Honestly the way the start of the relationship in dramas actively MURDERS the female character’s agency could be its own essay so I won’t go deep, just know the two are 100% linked.

The “Faux Action Girl” Problem 

A Faux Action Girl happens when a writer wants the popularity that comes with having a cool action girl character, or they want the praise that comes with writing a lead that breaks gender norms, or they want to be lauded for writing a FL whose more capable & progressive than the female kdrama lead we’d imagine, but they don’t end up actually giving us her. Instead we get the fake or faux version. The reasons are usually a combination of:

Relying on outdated tropes. Wrist grabs, damsels in distress, a girl fainting so she misses some vital plot related moment to increase runtime etc...

Sexist worldviews. As a by-product of being Korean which is still a heavily sexist country because of the holdover of Confucianism mixed in with the Christianity westerners brought over that leads many writers to (often without even realising) inserting moments that inadvertently reduce their female leads because they think that’s what correct or natural for the female character based on their opinion of women in general. Even if it doesn’t actually fit the type of character they’ve set out to create.

Executive meddling. Producers who think their demographic wouldn’t be able to handle a real badass but also know their female viewers want more complexity and agency in their FLs these days and so give us the paper-version instead of the 3D model.

This character’s more “badass” traits are nearly always just an Informed Ability (the writers tell us via other characters what she can do but never actually show us on-screen these same things) or we only ever see her utilise them once/twice at the beginning and maybe if we’re lucky once at the end, but never again. 

It really hurts.

The “Badass Decay/Chickification” Problem

Sometimes she really is a legitimate action girl though. She’ll be a cop whose good at her job or an ordinary citizen whose well-versed in taekwondo. She has actual moments on-screen to prove herself. 

Well. She has moments in episodes 1 and 2. Then she almost always goes through Badass Decay/Chickification. Which means that writers (& producers) believe that if we don’t see her having a softer side, she’ll become unrealistic or unlikeable. 

They fix her. So she becomes more vulnerable. As the only girl on the team (usually), she becomes the one who ends up injured more often or needs rescuing most. Her life begins to revolve entirely around her romance and nothing else. (Meanwhile the male leads gets to have the romance and keep his side-quest - have you noticed that? If the FL is really lucky she gets to keep one side-quest too, maybe a dream job or solving some family mystery. Never more though.. only men get to be complicated here). Once she was competent... now it feels like she legitimately had a personality transplant. 

Is this even the same person we began with?

The “Worf Effect” Problem 

Worf Effect is when the danger/power level of a villain is shown to the audience by making him successfully attack/hurt/ruin the plans of someone that the audience knows is skilled. This isn’t a bad thing alone and writers use it all the time. We need to acknowledge the villain as a proper threat and this is a useful way to do it!

But in kdramas it’s something used almost always against the lead female character. The one we’ve seen is intelligent, or strong-willed or quick-witted. 

And because it’s always her, this character begins to look weak. If this writing trope is abused, her reputation as the "biggest, toughest" etc. begins to look like it never existed and we’re back to her having an informed ability. 

That this is something that happens to the female characters not only more often but almost exclusively is a sign of sexism. Plain and simple.

Competent, Real Badass Female Characters Aren’t Scary

 If you’re going to sell me a capable woman, give me her. 

Not someone who has one very unique, specialised skill but otherwise can do nothing else except for that one time when her one skill is useful. 

Or has built up her own empire, implying a certain level of smarts, business ability or networking skills, but then once she’s removed from it she becomes so utterly useless it begs the question how she built that empire in the first place. 

Or has a rep as the detective whose taken down the toughest guys off-screen, but whatever skills she used to do that seem to disappear the moment anything really challenging happens on-screen. 

I’m not saying she needs to win all the time. Of course she doesn’t, how boring is that? All I’m asking is that when she loses, it’s in keeping with the character I’m supposedly watching. A woman that can kick ass can still be outwitted. A clever woman can be physically beaten. A street-smart girl can be foiled by rules and regulations. A leader-type can be beat by someone whose more unconventional.

It’s not difficult to write someone like this. I know the writers can do it because every male lead is written this way. I’ve never once, whilst watching a badass male lead lose, get beaten and cry, thought “oh no, his badassery was fake all along!”

Because when he loses it makes sense. It’s in character. There’s a solid plot reason behind why it happens.

Meanwhile my ladies who are meant to be able to kick ass and take names somehow just got kidnapped out of nowhere?

Make it make sense!

Consistent Characterisation is Good Writing

I get wanting moments where one is injured and the other fusses over them. I love those moments! All I ask is more imagination taken to get us to that point. Make it in-character. If my taekwondo black belt is kidnapped, I want to see her really fight. I want the kidnapping to be shown as genuinely tough on the people trying to nab her. Imagine how much more satisfying it would be to see her fight off all these bad guys, yet still end up losing? How much more heart-breaking?

We’d be so much more invested in the mind games or politics the villain is playing if the female lead we’ve been told is good at that stuff is playing the game just as hard. When she loses it’ll hurt more.

Writers need to stop being afraid that her remaining capable in some way diminishes the masculinity, attractiveness, prowess or “hero” status of the male lead. Trust me. It doesn’t. Ever. 

It’s not a case of either/or. We don’t think less of the male lead because his partner is as capable as him in whatever way that may be. Instead, we think more of them both. Once a romance begins, the heightened worry both characters have for each other should only make both of them stronger in whatever area they’re skill lies in. Not just make the man a sudden defence wall and the woman a worrying mess. 

I’m sure everyone who reads this can immediately think of at least one drama with a FL who is a Performative Badass. I know I had about ten in mind as I wrote this. 

There are exceptions. Cases where the badass gets to stay a badass. Usually these cases happen in genres without romance because like I said above, those problems are linked. But I can think of a few romcoms/sageuks/melos where it happens too. 

But those are the minority.

Women in kdramas. Give them agency. Make their characterisation genuine, not just a bit-part for the sake of a cool trailer. Not just one moment someone can edit into a “badass multifemale” video edit - only for us to watch the drama from the clip and discover we’ve been sold a lie. 

How satisfied would we be?

Writers! Give us a story we enjoyed because of the excellent characterisation. A new female character we can add to our lists of faves. Women who proved themselves as consistently badass as their first scenes claimed. Women in kdramas who, no matter what problem they faced, don’t become echoes or paper-thin versions of who we were promised.

Actual, complex, layered, enjoyable, KICK-ASS AND BADASS female leads.

Wouldn’t that be a miracle.

----------

PS. This is an open notice that it’s OKAY to reblog with added commentary/thoughts/rambles of your own. I would *love* to see it if you have anything to add.

---------- 

(Disclaimer: This essay was written with a specific female character type in mind. I am not saying every FL needs to be a badass or hyper competent. Soft, shy, physically weak female characters exist and can be just as realistic and complex. There’s a few I can think of who I adore. Instead my essay is very specifically about characters who are *meant* to be badass from the start but then... don’t end up being. So, yeah, before anyone claims I’m some angry feminist who needs every FL to be some tough martial artist or something. Absolutely not! Diversity is amazing and interesting. All I ask is that when I am told I’ll be getting a badass in a drama I get her. Not have my heart broken by the fake wilting flower I find in her place. Ok. End disclaimer. ^^)

----------

Also I’m tagging a bunch of you because you reblogged my post saying you wanted this so here! TY for making it to the end ^^

@kdramaxoxo​ @islandsofchaos @storytellergirl @vernalagnia-blog @lostindramas @salaamdreamer​ @planb-is-in-effect​ 

[rainy-day-gracie]

Innocent

WOW I got this idea last night and I couldn’t keep myself from writing it. 

Spencer arrested Reader for six murders she didn’t commit. What will happen when they need her help four years later when she’s in prison?

Spencer Reid x Reader

Enjoy !!

MASTERLIST

__

Four years. I have spent four years locked up in a jail cell for six murders that I didn’t commit. 

All thanks to the BAU. 

The door to my home was kicked open all of a sudden, causing me to shriek and drop my coffee cup. A muscular dark skinned man pointed a gun at me. “FBI! Don’t move!”

I put my hands in the air, nearly trembling. “What is this?” A tall man about my age with fluffed brown hair pinned my arms behind my back and slipped handcuffs on my wrists. “What did I do? Hello, are you high? Let me out of these!”

The man just recited the Miranda rights and dragged me out of my small home. While sitting in the police car watching the FBI search my house, the man came back and leaned against the car door. 

“I’ve never really liked cops too much, but this is a new low.” I said backhandedly. “What do you expect to find in my house anyways?”

“Anything that can help us prove that you killed six men in cold blood.” His face was stoic on the surface and angry underneath. 

“Excuse me? You guys really think I’m capable of something like that?”

He just looked at me coldly, not speaking. 

I rolled my eyes and looked away from him. “God, I hate cops so much.”

“Is that because you were raped when you were nineteen and the police never investigated?” The man just looked over at me casually, as if these were normal circumstances. 

“What’s your name, slick?” I said with a glare. 

“Dr. Spencer Reid.”

I was lying in my jail cell reading poetry when Guard Reese approached my cell. “What do you want, Reese?”

“You have a visitor, YLN.”

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Anger flared in my stomach at the sight of the good doctor.

“Well, if it isn’t Dr. Spencer Reid!” I gave him a fake smile, spreading my arms in mock welcome. “The reason I’ve been locked in here for four years! Mighty job you’ve done.” I applauded him sarcastically.

Reid just rolled his eyes and sat across from me in the interrogation room. “Good to see prison hasn’t broken your sense of humor, but I don’t have time to exchange pleasantries, YFN.”

I squinted at him, crossing my arms over my chest. “Why are you here? Disturbing my lovely routine of doing nothing all day in a six by eight cell.”

“My team and I need your help. There’s been recent murders, and they are an exact match to your MO four years ago.” He opened a file on the table, spreading out gruesome photos of young men that were slaughtered. “Two young men suspected of rape charges both emasculated and stabbed to death in their home. The same MO as your victims.”

Reid’s hair had gotten longer since I last saw him at my trial, and he seemed to be more muscular through his sweater vest, but those weren’t the only differences about him. He seemed colder, more experienced.

“Who did you lose?” I peered at him, reading him the same way he can read me.

“Excuse me?”

“You lost someone… a friend, relative, lover…” The way he looked down and his jaw clenched gave me my answer. “You lost your lover. Girlfriend, or wife?”

“Girlfriend.” His voice was soft, and he glanced back up at me after a moment. For the first time, I noticed how sharp his jawline was. For some reason, I didn’t want to look away. Reid cleared his throat, continuing bitterly. “We’re not here to talk about that though. We’re here to talk about you and the people you killed.”

I sat in the interrogation room for two hours before Reid came in to talk to me. I spoke in a way that was almost boring. I couldn't give them the satisfaction of seeing me crumble. “Dr. Reid, I didn’t kill anyone.”

He didn’t respond, instead he sat and displayed photo upon photo of young men, murdered. In the center there was one photo from a passport. Eddie Williamson. “Do you know these men?”

“Eddie. He…” I trailed off, memories of that damn frat party flooding back to me. 

“He raped you at a frat party in college. You reported it, but there wasn’t any proof, and he wasn’t charged.” Reid peered at me, looking for a reaction. 

Looking at Eddie’s face, the face that haunted my nightmares, made me want to vomit. “That son of a bitch ruined my life, and no one believed me. But what does that have to do with anything? You’re charging me with six murders.” I shoved the photos away, refusing to look at the mutilated bodies of young men. 

“He was found murdered and emasculated in his apartment two weeks ago. Since then, five other men accused of sexual assault allegations have been found in the same state of being.”

I couldn’t help the satisfaction that curled in my stomach at the news of Eddie’s fate. At the same time I wanted to vomit. They think I could do something like that?

Reid didn’t believe my claims of innocence. I could tell in the way he stared at me, like I was an animal out for blood. 

My voice was shaky when I spoke again. “I want my lawyer now, if you don’t mind.”

“I didn’t kill anyone.” My voice was steady despite my anger. How many times did we have to do this dance? “I know you don’t believe me, your team didn’t believe me, a jury didn’t believe me. But it’s the truth. I can’t help you.”

Reid was quiet for a long time. “If you didn’t kill these people, who did?”

I slammed my palm against the table, nearly shouting at the top of my lungs. “What do you want me to say? I’ve done everything I can to convince you and anyone that will listen that I didn’t kill anyone. Somehow I was convicted for 6 murders I did not commit, despite there being zero physical evidence against me. I cannot help you, Dr. Reid.”

Reid took a deep breath. His brown eyes looked into mine, and for a moment, I could’ve sworn he believed me. Believed that I wasn’t the cold blooded killer everyone perceived me to be. “My team and I made a profile for the killer four years ago. A woman in her mid to late twenties that had been raped, probably in her college career. She has a steady job, probably as a receptionist or secretary. Something that goes along with typical gender roles. She’s angry at the world for never giving justice to the man that violated her in college, and this anger causes her to push away those who care about her.”

I smiled bitterly. “That’s me to a T.”

“There was one major part of the profile you didn’t match with. When we arrested this woman, we expected her to be extremely hostile, physically fight back however she could. You didn’t do that. You were strong, but you didn’t want to look at the crime scene photos. You didn’t resist us, even though you got a lawyer.” His charming brown eyes were thoughtful, as if he was thinking deeply about something extremely important. 

“Well, what does that mean?”

For the first time since I’d known Dr. Reid, he looked confused. “I don’t know. The profile is the same as it was four years ago, and we think it’s someone close to you. You can help us by thinking of anyone that could match that description.”

Something occurred to me, someone I had barely thought about in years. “My sister. She’s a little older than me, and I haven’t heard from her since my arrest.”

Reid abruptly left the room, taking the files with him. 

The memory of his voice echoed in my head, and my mind couldn’t help but dwell on the feeling that maybe once, in four years, someone believed me.

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PART 2 : Guilty