#but take the estimated time with a huge grain of salt

[ask-suns-pup]

how long do you think it will take to get to five pebbles?

Seven Red Suns will be unavailable for asks for the rest of the cycle.

[cloveroctobers]

FEBRUARY FLUFF — CARMY BERZATTO.

A/N: so carmy won this time around!!! Thanks to all those that voted and ultimately made this decision for me lol. Hope you guys enjoy this and have a safe, healthy, and happy love season 🩷 + yes this is a mixture of fluff and angst...i mean come on! I wouldn't be me if i didn't include that in here somewhere!

PROMPTS ARE FROM HERE + HERE & I’m using: 1. “…Okay, so the only way for us to enjoy that huge discount is to act like we’re dating.” “What, so you’d fake date me for discounted food but you wouldn’t real date me even though I could take you out to the best restaurants out there in town every fucking night if you wanted me to?”  + always giving the other the first bite of their food < or the last.

WARNINGS/SN: I wrote with a black or brown reader in mind although reader isn't physically described + they’re given a name only when mentioned, language is a thing here duh!, this is LENGTHY, lots of timelines: reader + nat became friendly before season 1 during the summer prior to 7 fishes which is estimated to be five years before season 2, reader knows of carmy due to past work, I feel like she can be just a few year(s) older than carmy but younger than nat—there’s a age gap for the Berzatto’s anyways, sexual relations are mentioned, this piece takes place months after the grand opening, & finally there’s a possible chance for a poly relationship or maybe just multiple crushes going on? Take that how you will.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡

it was a Sunday.

The kind of Sunday you woke up embarrassed about but knew you had to swallow your pride and just send out that text. You knew you wouldn’t be judged regardless reaching out to Fak because he’s built to deal with things like this and never made you feel like shit about anything.

You usually had to squeeze it out of him to get him to lay out any cons about a situation but appreciated most times when he didn’t. Your minds been going haywire with a recent assignment as a food journalist and it really slipped your mind, although you were usually a quick thinker, you’ve been stressed over this recent restaurant. Thankfully it clicked for you after throwing a tantrum to simply reach out to Fak to come help you out.

The stupid lever in your bathroom decided to stop flushing on you and of course you panicked. Who wouldn’t panic in a situation like that? You no longer had a roommate and strongly debated if you even wanted to search for another; after the shady actions of the previous one, so you really didn’t have to worry about them giving you shit either. (Let’s see if your rent feels the same next month!)

It was just you in the end and perhaps you were learning to be okay with that.

Yet that didn’t stop you from FaceTiming Sydney about it. “Hey Siddy, how’s your day going?”

“Pretty good, yours?” She politely asked as she moved down the hallway of her shared apartment to prop her phone on the pedestal sink, moving around her functioning bathroom to grab some oil to grease her scalp.

Smacking your lips you glare, “it fucking sucks.”

“Oh?” Sydney questioned, appearing back in frame, “what happened? Did someone egg and scratch up your car again after a review you gave them? Noo wait, don’t tell me there’s a bullet hole?!”

That was light work compared to New York (it really wasn’t a competition of which state had its worst moments but your home state left you kinda triggered, not gonna lie!) where you were just starting off and those that were in tune with the culinary world didn’t take your words with a grain of salt. Most nights you still woke up gasping for air, reaching for your throat due to some trauma of a break in from a well-known nepo-baby chef. Don’t get that twisted, your mom didn’t raise no punk but that didn’t mean those events didn’t mess with your mental and you acknowledged that every time you had a nightmare. They only served three years and five months compared to the original five year sentence.

Ah the system…got to love how that works out for the privileged!

You shrugged, “no…the threats have been pretty tame lately so I can give myself a pat on the back for that. However! I still am in a crisis.”

Sydney begins to move her braids around to expose her scalp, “Elaborate for me.”

“My toilet won’t flush!” You whine, laying flat on your messy bed. You tended to not make your bed on Saturdays and didn’t get around to making it today—although it was after 3pm.

Sydney asks, “Like the waste won’t go down…?”

“Exactly!” You confirm throwing your arm over your eyes dramatically, “The lever thing is moving like my old dislocated shoulder.”

Sydney gags, “don’t fucking remind me of that day. That was spooky to witness but I am glad you healed from that.”

“Thanks girl, means a lot, truly.”

Sydney gives a small smile, “don’t mention it…have you considered YouTubing it? That’s what I do when I don’t want to ask anyone for help and figure it out by myself.”

You hummed knowing this was true. In a sense you could be like that too, especially when it came to the working field, since writers can tend to be some nasty bitches and always in rivalry with each other. You made a name for yourself in Chicago as well, coming from New York where you worked just as hard-maybe even harder than the rest to mean and write exactly how you felt about cuisine, regardless if anyone agreed or not. It wasn’t about if people liked you, the relationship with food would always be more significant and hold value in your life, just like the rest of these chef’s you encountered and you got that, people were allowed to be sensitive about their work. You’ve come toe to toe with many chef’s around the world who didn’t like your take on their craft but that didn’t mean you didn’t understand them. They hardly took the time to really dive into your ratings and automatically took it as you shit talking or not having any idea what you were saying since you “weren’t really a chef,” but you knew your worth most days.

Yes you could be straight forward but that didn’t mean you lacked compassion like some chef’s liked to think according to your reviews. You often wrote in a way that was puzzling to some, almost philosophical or riddle like with your own twist. Some just didn’t get it and that was okay but you wouldn’t back down from any confrontation. The second they didn’t want to really listen, that’s when you removed yourself from the escalating problem. It didn’t have to get violent like some wanted to inflict.

“Why didn’t I think of that?!” You exasperated, slapping the palm of your hand to your forehead.

Sydney snorted, “maybe because you’re under a lot of pressure lately and the most simplest of things don’t come as easily as they should.”

“You would think I have high blood pressure with the way these past two weeks have been.”

Sydney says, “give it time.”

“Gee, thanks! That’s exactly the kind of shit I want to hear from you.” You roll your eyes at the blurt of words that commonly escaped the braided girl’s mouth.

Sydney breathes out a laugh, “I’m just joking!”

“Yeah, yeah! Maybe I should text fak back and tell him not to come by!”

“You asked fak instead of the apartment manager?” Sydney is in amazement.

“Fuck that noise, he’s so full of shit that he should see a doctor about it. He’ll show up to analyze the problem, then acts like he’s going to fit you into the schedule and then when you catch him in the lobby he pretends that he has amnesia.” You commented with a scowl.

You get ready to minimize the call to text fak but some obnoxious knocks at the door made you pop up from your bed. “That was fast!”

Hopping up from the bed and padding out of the last bedroom in the apartment, you made the journey through the foyer to the awaiting black front door. Peeking through the peephole you spot Fak grinning widely up into it, almost making you jump back.

“He’s made it Siddy! I’ll call you back!”

“K. Good luck!” Sydney calls out before you end the call to pull the door wide open.

“Neil!” You scream, quickly latching onto his tatted wrist ready to yank him in until you notice someone else is with him, “…why is he here?” You point.

Fak quickly glances over at a brimmed Carmy who raised a brow at him in a silent told you so manner, “I mean we were having a boy’s day when you called and I didn’t want my buddy to be left out. Plus, it’s always great to have some assistance.”

“…i find it hard to believe that Carmen wants to fix my toilet.” You cross your arms, poking out your hip as you stare at him.

Carmen shrugs his shoulders, “I wanted to wait in the car if it makes you feel any better.”

“Hmm…it doesn’t.”

Carmy rolls his eyes, pinching at the bridge of his nose briefly in agitation, “you know what, fak you’ve got this right? I know you do so—

“Nope!” Fak quickly interrupts, “this maybe a two person job so aspie if you just let us do what we came to do—

Shooting an arm out to block the doorway you peer into Fak’s dark teal eyes to show you mean business, “didn’t I say I dislike that nickname, Neil?”

He nods.

“Also i find it offensive that you brought an uninvited guest to my place.”

“Just be glad it wasn’t Richie because that was also a possibility before he ran off to pick up the kid.” Carmy snaps making you roll your eyes.

If Richie was here you been would have slammed the door in both Fak and his face. Sure you had some sort of tension with Carmy and beef with .......his cousin but at least Carmy only gave it back to you when he had the energy to—meaning if he was already on one. The issue was simple, you wrote a not so nice review once before when the eldest berzatto, Michael was alive and running the joint. Richie couldn’t forget that and actually kept the clipping, yes the clipping of the review way back when. He had the receipts to show Carmy and Carmy actually brushed it off then, not seeming to really care or doubt some of the words that were said.

He came to revamp the place because Mikey left it for him, to fix the mess his big brother left behind, to create what they’ve always dreamed of. Sure he got shit for it in the beginning and part of him felt like maybe that was your case too? He could relate to you on that, yet the weight was slightly different on his part and he even spoke with you not long after he found those tomato cans.

That gave him a certain push he couldn’t really explain. He may have done a brief dive on you, wondering why you felt acquainted to him—completely forgetting about seeing you once around Noma—choosing to start with reading previous reviews by you on other restaurants here in Chicago and a few interviews you’ve done over the world. You weren’t just some nobody, you held your titles well and it reflected in your work.

You weren’t clueless.

He just didn’t really know what he was dealing with until a short time ago.

What he didn’t expect was for you to show up again on opening night with a certain head chef, also from New York. That made carmy more anxious than anything, seeing you sitting beside that four eyed fuck ready to set off a tornado in the heart of the bear. Was that your motive all along? With carmy attempting to build a bridge, not for you to kiss his ass with praise but there was a odd need to have a simple conversation with you. It was weird but it seemed like Sydney, Fak, and Nat liked you?

The jury was still out with the rest—except Richie but you were a mystery to Carmy. However carmy wasn’t the best at putting a read on people or their emotions in the first place, he was good at fucking that up unless you’re screaming it into his face. That’s just how he operated.

“You two can come in—only because I don’t have the patience with the manager here and Neil’s the best I’m gonna get.” You state while fak slaps a hand on his chest.

“That was really sweet, Aspen.” Fak cooed ready to pull you into a bone crushing hug but you hold up a finger.

“Save the hugs until after you fix my problem.”

“You got it boss,” Fak salutes before diving under your arm to travel through your apartment, ooo-ing and ah-ing before finding the bathroom around the corner from the living room.

Sighing you drop your arm and wave carmy through, who keeps his view straight while traveling through the hallway. You call out to him, “you can have a seat on the couch.”

“What? Did you drop a load or something and is that the real reason why you don’t want me to help Fak?” Carmy comes right out with it, nose twitching in amusement after whipping around to face you in the center of the living room.

See…only when he’s frustrated or overly focused will he just let it out. Some may look at this as Carmy attempting to make a joke but you took that somewhat personally. The only thing you were thinking after he said this was: What an ego on this one huh?

You stop on your heels and tilt your head to the side, “are you telling me that you think women or fem pronoun users don’t take shits? Do you know what it feels like to have period shits?”

Carmy blinks at you and shouts with his hands out, “I...don't even know what the fuck you're getting at? I wasn't even trying to be sexist to you just then! I asked you a honest question—

“About you being in my business,” you pointed out, “contrary to your beliefs I have a heart and decided to be nice to you and let you stay in my place to keep warm. You’re welcome!”

“Oh bullshit, don’t act like you’re doin’ me any favors.” Carmy scowls, “you don’t even want me here.”

You shrug, “yet you’re here in my apartment, yelling.”

Carmy exhaled while you smirked at him sweetly before turning to lean against the wall that leads to the bathroom.

“Everything okay in there, Neil?”

“Oh yeah!” He says, “I think I figured out the problem. Easy peasy!”

“Great!” You exclaim, pulling your phone out from your sweats to read a very important email.

The weight of stress seemed to lift a good chunk as you quickly responded to a email that you’ve been waiting for. You’ve been invited out (squeezed in) to a taste test at this restaurant for this evening that you’ve been trying to get into for a month before you brought it up to your employer. The deadline was approaching for the end of this week to have a review ready and they just responded to you five days before that deadline! Reading over it twice, the squeal in you slipped through your smile until you read the exceptions.

If you were to go over the amount of food purchased, which you would put on the company card anyways, you can get a discount if you brought a plus one and some reimbursement if the review was satisfactory to the owners—which the last part wasn’t unfamiliar to you.

You usually didn’t bring a plus one to any of the places you did reviews for, you got comfortable doing outings all on your own but this was different. Sure you were somewhat known in the culinary world but that didn’t mean you were a millionaire and this restaurant was apparently upscale. There was a waiting list regardless of your status—even for the celebrities that went there so this was a big deal and they gave you a short notice. Usually Sundays were known for a reset for the week but what better way to start it?

You don’t go forward with reaching out to anybody else that you work with. This was your battle and you were aware that two of your other co-workers also reached out to this restaurant. You just hoped you were the only one they picked and wouldn’t miss out on the great opportunity just because you weren’t sure about your guest.

A few hours before show time and you had to find somebody to attend with you. Your best friend was away in Cabo for a honeymoon, the other (who recently planned on moving to ATL) was dealing with the flu and had their no good ex boyfriend taking care of them, Sydney was suddenly MIA, and you even considered inviting Natalie Berzatto to piss carmy off just a bit.

“Hey, Nat!” You greet into the phone as you walk into the kitchen, witnessing Carmy perk up from the couch.

It’s small talk at first: you asking about how her day is going as a mom to be, if she’s going to be at the bear tomorrow, did she watch the Emmy’s the other night, tell her husband you said hello, and then finally if she had plans for tonight.

“…are you asking me to hang out?”

“We had fun at that club way back when no?”

“Yeah! But that was how long ago?”

You knew it’s been awhile. You were always friendly with Natalie, meeting her first—well second out of the siblings down at the small mart one summer you helped out at that your great-uncle owned. She was huffing about something her boyfriend at the time, Pete forgot to bring her and some groceries she was picking up for her mom. You were cool enough to become Facebook friends, exchange numbers, go out for coffee and go to the club together. This wasn’t unusual to call each other randomly but you knew she commonly got shit from Michael and Richard about her talking and hanging out with you.

The thing about Natalie Berzatto is that she always tried to give people the benefit of the doubt. Yes she saw your review yet she kinda laughed about it initially but it was all fuck you’s from the other two loud mouth’s. Of course she was going to listen to her brother but she still had a mind of her own. she didn’t care to listen to Richie go off but she understood how Michael felt, although she was the only other Berzatto that heard you out.

Except you didn’t owe anybody an explanation even if some felt you were more cutthroat in your younger years.

“...Before you and Pete even thought about marriage?”

You were younger than them but you imagined how it would always work out for Nat and Pete, which included growing old together.

“Wow! Yeah that sounds right.”

“So…?”

“Can’t do it.”

“You didn’t even hear all the details!”

“I know, I know and it sounds like it’ll be a real fucking blast but if this kid wasn’t sitting on my sciatic nerve constantly and if my feet weren’t the size of two honeydews…I totally would! But I’ll have to decline this time around—so please don’t hate me!”

“I could never!”

“You know you could always ask carmy-

“Why on earth would I do that?” Your reply was instant.

Natalie sighed over the phone, “aspen…the potential of friendship and love is a beautiful thing.”

You scrunched up your face at the phone before placing it back to your ear.

“Do you want me to hang up on you?”

“I’d call you a rude bitch if you did but then get over it.”

“I can live with that because I know it’s real love between you and I.”

“…whatever that means.”

“Right.”

You both laugh, knowing just how weird the subject of love can be. Although you didn’t talk all the time it was always okay for one of the other to drop a venting text or call each other’s way and know the other would get around to responding. The both of you may not be the best of friends but you did consider each other friends regardless. There were conversations between the both of you that no one knew about and would be a constant reminder of what kind of friends the both of you would remain.

Natalie wished things could have been resolved between you and Michael but she reassured that the dislike wasn’t as deep as it seemed. There was no secret that you felt awful about how his life ended and being there for nat during that time also meant a lot. She told you that one of the last conversations she had with Michael was about you and it felt as if he was learning to let go of your review, slowly taking in Nat’s words of you not having a cruel bone in your body especially with all that you’ve done for her.

Anybody that showed his sister true friendship couldn’t be complete garbage. As much as he tolerated Pete, Michael was always aware that he was good enough for his sister. They were all cut from different cloths and the Berzatto’s were just from the same but opposite corner’s.

Natalie telling you this was not to erase any worries you had since that is always brought to the surface when someone you’ve been face to face with before decides to end it all. It was to show you that nobody ever truly knows what anyone is thinking whether there is love there or not.

You can feel Natalie smiling through the phone, “Think about it…all that tension could be smoothed out if you extend the olive branch…now it’s your turn.”

“It’s not my fault he switched up on me after your opening night.” You didn’t lower your voice or make it louder but you were definitely staring at carmy now who was side eyeing you, looking like phineas from phineas and ferb.

“That’s something you need to talk to him about, don’t you think?” Her tone was always so gentle that it made you sick sometimes because she could be right.

“I’m not here to do think pieces.”

“…aren’t you a writer?”

“Have a good night, nat.”

“Ta-Ta!” Natalie sing-songs, “be sure to send me the deets later because carmy never tells me anything! Bye! Chat later!”

Hanging up the phone, you slide it onto the counter and tap your nails against the island. To the right of you, you pick up on some clinking in the bathroom—which sounds somewhat normal and zone in on carmy who’s also holding onto his phone but staring at the blank tv in thought.

“Hey, Carmen.” You call his name.

His bright blues turn to you as if he hasn’t been eavesdropping on your conversation here and there between his texts with Marcus.

“You. Me. The Saffron Simmer. 7pm.”

The air is frigid as the both of you hunch your shoulders shoving through Chicago’s winter. Shockingly the streets are filled with cars tonight so you had to park on the next street over before walking up and around to The Saffron Simmer. Carmy offered to drive, which was a debate—no shock there—since there was no way he was leaving the bear stock van behind for no license having fak to play around in.

Fak definitely found that offensive and said he didn’t mind hanging out at your place, being done with your toilet but with the look you sent him he said he’s find an Uber or fak2 can pick him up. It’s not like you didn’t trust fak in your place…it’s just that the possibilities of what he can get into are endless.

You also didn’t want to ride in the bear’s van not because of shallow reasons, you just wanted to annoy carmy just a bit more for fun. Walking mostly everywhere was the way to go growing up in New York and Carmy working there so doing so here in Chicago wasnt foreign either. However with the type of cold here in this city is enough to give the bravest of hearts hypothermia. So obviously driving was the best option, it’s just the petty back and forth between you two of who will drive had to be spewed.

Eventually you gave in and sat in the passenger side of the van, being on DJ duty for the twenty-five minute drive—something carmy didn’t care to argue over. The both of you made it on time, throwing the door back for carmy to catch then bouncing on your toes while he blew into his gloveless hands waiting on the greeter to find your reservation.

The pictures didn’t do The saffron simmer any justice. There was so much to look at with its modernized speakeasy décor and the high ceilings did a superb job of making the both of you feel small in the spacious space. Thankfully the dress code was business casual so you didn’t have to go all out but you still put in the effort of looking your best in simple attire. You’re shrugging out of your scarf, earmuffs, and puffer coat while Carmy is already seated; with only the removal of his cap across from you in a chair.

He’s watching you as you place everything neatly to the right of you before you're taking a seat in the leather oversized chair, then digging through your tote to pull out your notepad, Sony camera, phone, and bolt pen. You quickly scribble something on the first line and circle it before dropping your pen.

Rolling the sleeves of your long sleeves back underneath your blazer, you roll your shoulders with a close of your eyes before opening them with a look of determination.

“Wow, that was something.” Carmy tells you, making you set your eyes back on him, forgetting just that quick that he was your plus one.

Clasping your hands together you quirk up a brow, “What?”

“Watching you prep.”

You dip your head, “should have seen me before I got dressed…much worse.”

A smirk appears on the corner of Carmy’s lips, “oh yeah?”

“Well yes, I can contain myself in public, Carmen. Your home is supposed to be your safe space so that’s the best place to go a little crazy sometimes.” You inform, yet still not giving too much away.

“Why are you in your head about this place anyway?” Carmy peers around the slightly filled dining area before meeting your eyes once more.

You lift your shoulders, “have you seen the way they market this place? Giving not too much away although it’s top ten restaurants here and I can either contribute to its success or its downfall. They picked me for a reason so my review matters at the end of this year.”

“But you uh-get a thrill out of this shit don’t you? It’s what you signed up for, right?” Carmy is actually relaxed against the chair across from you.

Which is a sight to see.

You state, “it’s part of the job, if that’s what you mean.”

Carmy blinks and seems to get it, “and so you stay.”

“So I stay.” You echo while holding his stare, which is broken by a piece of the stone table lifting and showcasing the menu illuminated by sepia lighting in the dark of the restaurant.

Carmy’s bright eyes are wide as he stares at the menu that appears right in front of your faces. There’s a grin on your face as you rest your fingertips around its rough edges, almost as if you were expecting this while carmy blows out a breath.

“The hell is this place?”

You peek over at him, “some next level shit, berzatto.”

“Yeah…I think I’m starting to catch on.”

You turn your attention back to the menu, swiping your fingertips along the touch screen although you’ve heard things about the menu, which they kept offline since apparently it renews monthly.

“What looks good?”

“Uh…these pages aren’t even labeled." Carmy exhales through his nose, eyes searching all over the tablet, "I have no clue. You?”

The words come at ease for you, "One of almost everything maybe?”

“Sounds good...I guess?”

“On me by the way,” you state with a wink as you flash your company card.

“I’ll get the tip then.” Carmy pats his jeans, the left containing his carton of cigarettes, the right holding his keys, lifting his hips he checks for his wallet although he’s been sitting on his behind for about ten minutes now.

You don’t argue with that, eyes in awe at the selection of items as you start ordering, “don’t forget to order your drink.”

“Water should be fine,” Carmy mutters to himself, eyes scanning over the first strange title of water that is described as flower and ginger infused purified water and decides to go with that.

You finally express after rapidly letting your fingers go over the screen and taking a picture with your phone, “…Okay, so the only way for us to enjoy that huge discount is to act like we’re dating.”

It sounded so easy to you as you quickly shifted to pick up your pen and start writing notes.

“What was that?” Carmy pressed his elbows into the edge of the table, making sure he heard you right since he’s not even sure if he can trust his inner thoughts lately.

You’re still scribbling but also turning your face towards the messy haired chef, “you heard me. We have to act like we’re in a relationship because I’ve definitely went over the budget on the card.”

“That’s not really my problem?”

“Yes it is,” you demand, “you agreed to be my plus one so that’s that. Plus this menu further confirmed my suspicions from the email.”

Carmy scratches at his brow confused, “what are you talking about, aspen?”

“Here,” you swipe across your screen towards Carmy’s device, which brings up another screen instantly to carmy who’s in awe but scans over the details.

You didn’t share the email with him but he’s heard about how high tech this restaurant is but didn’t have the time to do his own research.

*Significant others in attendance are subject to applicable discounts.*

Carmy feels his stomach cramp at the fine print and it so small that he was sure anyone could have missed that.

Not you.

“…how exactly are we supposed to prove that, hm?” He's gripping at his greasy hair now, feeling himself getting a bit worked up about this.

You fanned your hand along, “just do what couples do and follow my lead...Depending on our witnesses,” you whisper as you look around, “they could always assume that’s what we are anyways.”

Part of carmy didn’t like how that came off.

“What, so you’d fake date me for discounted food but you wouldn’t real date me even though I could take you out to the best restaurants out there in town every fucking night if you wanted me to?” Flies out of Carmy’s mouth before he can even process what he’s saying.

That stoops you too, making you press your back against the chair in thought. That wouldn’t be going down in the notes, as you stare at the pen in between your fingers for a moment. Which brings you back to Carmy’s tatted fingers first that touched you in ways that romance novelist craved to write about.

So you may have left that out, how a shared conversation about the “heartless” review of then Chicagoland turned the bear melted into hot and heavy actions in the front seat of your Mazda. It hits you in those same flashes you take of dishes: the unsure sloppy kisses, you taking the lead to get Carmy to just touch you, shaky hands that trace the tattoo from your rib cage down to your hip before soon holding steady and angled just right beneath your red tapered trousers.

“Where did that come from?” You question just as a server greets you, delivering drinks and announcing the small plates should be out in the next five minutes with a timer appearing on both of the stone tablets.

Carmy says, “you—you didn’t just think I forget right?”

“Well I was hoping.” You were honest, “neither of us are ready for relationships—especially hearing about you and Claire.”

Carmy felt his eye twitch, “and how do you know about that?”

Sydney.

You wouldn’t throw her under the bus like that although you could tell carmy already knew.

“I have my resources but don’t think I’ve been asking around about you or anything like that.” You sipped at the raspberry mint cocktail, it could be stronger.

His thumbs are shaking first on the table top but his icy stare made your chest pulsate in a way you didn't particularly like, “…would that be so bad?”

You and carmy didn’t exactly know each other well enough besides a conversation once had and with his hand down your pants! and you trying to get him to crash, clothes still on right in the center of his lap—It was a spur of the moment hookup and you could tell it was not something that happened often for carmy. He never had time for it or bothered to get attached but there was something about you that had him thinking otherwise. What was supposed to be a one time thing that you swept to the back of your mind was being brought up again.

The annoyance overtook what that feeling brought in the front seat of your ride. You weren’t ignoring carmy after that but the both of you had a lot on your plate with him renovating a restaurant and you diving back into your own work. Both fields of work seemed to matter more and not once did you think he ever thought about you in that way.

Communication was important people!

And here you thought he wanted nothing to do with you, especially with you showing up to the grand opening of The Bear. Now here you were months later, basically at your benefit, face to face hearing only pieces of what Carmen Berzatto was thinking.

“Hey, guys!” A familiar voice gathers your attention and you both turn to see Sydney smiling at you two.

Carmy widens his eyes, “Syd, what’re you doing here?”

Sydney snorted, “doing the same thing you’re doing? Having dinner.”

“Right.” He lightly shakes his head.

“Oh my god…am I interrupting this um? Date?” Sydney quickly connected the dots eyeing the both of you back and forth while you’re choking on your drink, “you okay?”

She pats your back for you while you gasp and Carmy slides over his water your way although you have your own glass near by. Gaining some air, you swallow some water and breathe through your nose. Normally you would have a response for Sydney’s joke but given what carmy just said to you had your mind running along with some burning tears you wiped away.

“So this is where you’ve been instead of answering me back?” You decide to switch the subject-you were great at that-wheezing a bit while Carmy scoffs and looks away.

Sydney frowns, “huh? When did you call me besides the FaceTime call…” she starts and pulls out her phone, “oh shit sorry. I placed it on do not disturb like thirty minutes after you didn’t call me back. I got wrapped into some entail about the menu from one of the chef’s that works here and is also a friend.”

Carmy speaks, “Didn’t know you had a connect with anybody here, Syd.”

“Can’t reveal all my moves, Carm.” She winks and lightly elbows him while Carmy sends her a small smile and a shake of his head.

Carmy asks, “scooping out our competition?”

“Only a little," She pinches her fingers before continuing, "and my dad thought it would be a place I wanted to try.” Sydney admits, “and if you two weren’t on a date I’d say let’s make this a group thing! so I’ll be going! I see my dad coming back from the bathroom…he’s got like a bladder problem and I don’t know why I’m sharing that with you two. But bye! Enjoy and just know I’ll be keeping my eye on you two.”

“Fuck,” carmy exhaled feeling his nerves rising, “don’t do that.”

Sydney chuckles to herself and sends a wave to you two before walking back to her table by the window.

“Siddy kicked me to the curb for her dad,” you sigh resting your cheek into your knuckles for a moment, “can’t be mad at that.”

“But you can be mad at me for what exactly?”

“You wanna do this with me right now?”

“Yeah, I think I do.”

“I thought we could move past what happened—

“You can say it you know? Me with my fingers inside—

“Excuse me!” You hiss, “I don’t need you to repeat action by action thank you. I was there too. We both know what happened, we’d agreed we can coexist around this big ass city. I show up to support—

“Did you though?” Carmy pressed, “support me? Or am I waiting for something else to be thrown at me with your upcoming review?”

“What?!” You bite, “is that what your stank ass attitude is about?”

Carmy tightened his jaw just as the first serving was handed over. You let him sulk in that for some time as you study the plating of the four appetizers, making note of each before taking more pictures with your sony.

“I wasn’t there to write a review.” You reply.

“I saw you—

“Let me finish. I understand pressure so I get it but you have to learn to channel your anger and this grief, elsewhere and deal with it better without projecting it onto any and everybody. I’ll tell you that right now that won’t get you anywhere and especially with me, Carmen.” You affirm.

You’ve been in Carmy’s position before so you can speak with experience. He seemed to always be waiting for the worse to continue filling up his plate but it takes time to accept the good in life. He was giving you something but you weren’t sure it was the best option for the both of you and you weren’t afraid to say that.

“Alright…I didn’t come here to talk about feelings either you know? That’s what those meetings are for.” Carmy spills just a tad.

You stare at the vibrant but delicate plating but his tone and the soft upbeat tempo above your heads don’t go unnoticed. “What did you come here for then?”

Carmy blinks and snatches up a spoon, almost weighing it in his hands before he dives the utensil into the dish. He stares as the stretch of cheese, twisting the spoon to break it apart before holding the Macaroni and Brie with Crab out for you to take the first bite.

He doesn’t answer for awhile and so you do the honors of taking a bite and savoring it's texture and taste.

“…that’s not my favorite.” You announce and notice that Carmy waited for your view.

He raises his brows, “tell me about it?”

“They need different plating.” You deeply sigh, “I know that type of plating works best for a dessert and that’s not it. There’s more breadcrumbs than meat, which seems to not be fully removed from its shell so be careful with that. It’s also lacking flavor even with the brie, which is my least favorite kind of cheese in Mac, although many swear by it.”

Carmy flicks his attention to your disappointment to you scribbling into your notepad with a shake of your head. If he was making you a dish, he’d try his hardest to make sure it was everything you ever wanted.

He quickly has his share and thinks to himself.

Carmy can agree, this was lacking flavor and the breadcrumbs didn’t even have a crunch to them. You can’t just depend on the cheese to give you flavor in Mac and cheese.

“What’s your favorite dish? I—I don’t think I ever asked you that. We just went straight into talking about the beef.”

And doing dirty things in the front seat but who needs to relive that?!

You look up from your notes and lift your chin, “you’re looking at it. It’s childish I know...but that’s exactly what it reminds me of: my childhood. Mac and cheese! then as I got into my adulthood…crab kinda took over. Which is funny because I hated on it for so long growing up. My papa—my grandad, he helped my mom raise me, he's from Ocean City so you can only imagine the amount of seafood on our table.”

You’re smiling to yourself and Carmy can’t help but to feel his small laughter lines appear by his lips as you’re locked into some memory only you can remember vividly. This was the most Carmy was learning about you, sure it may not look like much but he didn’t feel the need to dissociate even if at times he really couldn’t help it.

You were the question mark that he wanted to figure out and get all the answers to. Maybe it was his gut and he shouldn’t have blabbed to sugar about you because now Carmy was thinking this was Michael’s doing.

If you believe in that shit.

So the both of you take your time trying the small dishes before getting the main courses. It seems the longer you sit across from each other—the tension was definitely still there especially with Sydney’s eyes burning into the two of you across the room and attempting to not get caught—although she had once or twice but gradually it lifted as you and carmy shared this time together.

He watched you work while you asked for his input before you told your own. He also provided a few things he would do to tweak it if he agreed with what you didn’t enjoy. Which was eye-opening for you, yes you went to school for journalism and sat in on some cooking classes once that also tied into your passion for learning. After completing your first degree you decided culinary may take you to different heights and enrolled into culinary school. You didn’t find the need to continue going through with being a chef after Copenhagen, finding writing to be your stronger suit but you still understood food and the relationship with it when it came to chef’s.

So you took carmy’s input into consideration.

With the last serving being a Asian dessert called, “Jjan Hae,” which consisted of: coconut rice pudding served with fresh citrus (orange, grapefruit, kumquat) and coffee ice cream, topped with crispy pop rice & a shot of Korean rice wine, it was a strange concept but the both of you came to terms with the dessert working well.

Carmy even took a video to show Marcus tomorrow at the bear and sent a photo to an old colleague, Luca, that you were also familiar with considering Noma was a thing that you didn’t bother speaking much on…but it was your turn to give carmy the last serving.

He hesitated since he had his own bowl, which he finished way before you did but it was clear you wanted him to have the last bite so he also took it while saying something with his eyes.

Breaking the stare, the both of you felt your phone buzz with a text. Carmy didn’t jump to answer it right away…he was the worst texter according to Nat and Sydney but you can answer for the both of you as it was a group text from Sydney who was long gone with her dad.

Siddy + (773) XXX-XXXX: Carmy, invite aspen to breakfast in the morning?? See you guys then! 👍🏾😉

“You guys do breakfast at the bear now?” You say lifting your eyes from your screen.

You heard Sydney made a mean omelette but you haven’t been back since earlier this year and you weren’t in the mood for that that night.

Carmy frowns and closes his eyes with a shake of his head, “uh yeah it’s a new thing that Syd came up with but we agreed to do that with everyone once a month…later this month. Why?”

“She wants me to have breakfast with you guys…knowing I’m not a morning person.”

“It’s not happening tomorrow anyway, so what is she talking about?” Carmy digs into his jacket, where he carelessly shoved his phone into after sending the photo off to Luca.

Another text rings out: at carmy’s place. just us three???

Not Sydney making plans and then placing it all at Carmy’s apartment.

He’s taking a breath, almost as a silent reminder for him to do so before his thumbs move over his screen: i don’t even eat breakfast, Syd.

Syd: well youre gonna.

~ Syd has notifications silenced 🌙 ~

“Well, looks like your work wife told your ass.” You laugh, which you translated into her message but didn’t comment further than that.

Carmy harshly exhales through his nostrils in disbelief, “my work wife huh?”

He didn’t hate how that sounded but he also never thought about marriage or relationships in awhile.

“Yeah…the proof is in the pudding, no matter what anyone says.”

Carmy pinched at his bottom lip as he attempts to dryly joke, “I thought it was rice? and what about outside work…”

“That’s something you have to figure out yourself.” You shrug, getting ready to pack up your notes and cameras.

You turn your attention to the table, which knows just when to lift as you tap on the screen to signal that you’re ready to pay while holding out your company card, “are you paying cash for the tip or card?”

“Uh, cash.” Carmy answers, “…what if I’m starting to think about what come’s next?”

“With Syd?” You question, your now sage and mint scented hands flying over the screen as you select the correct paying method before tapping your company card against the screen.

Carmy starts bouncing his leg underneath the table, “with everything.”

“Well…when you’re ready you’ll make moves to make it happen won’t you?”

Carmy dips his head, “you bet.”

And here comes the intense eye contact that you can’t help but to huff out some laughter.

“What’s funny?”

“It’s just people with light eyes always do this thing where they’re just staring into your soul you know? Like damn, relax!”

Carmy’s confused as he holds his wallet open, “uh sorry for having eyes?”

“Shut up, glacier eyes.” You tell while Carmy just snorts at you.

The both of you don’t waste any time rushing back to his car as the clock is approaching 10pm. The wind’s definitely picked up and the temperature dropped, making it easier not to get caught up in the night time city lights which you often liked to do. Back in the van, carmy doesn’t wait to crank up the heat and you don’t bother to mess with the radio this time.

“So?” Carmy asks as he waits for the car to warm up some.

You keep your attention outside the window shield, “yes?”

“What’s the rating?”

“What makes you think I’m going to tell you that, Carmen?” You continue holding yourself.

He sniffs, “I mean—I was sitting across from you the entire night while you told me some of your thoughts.”

“So you thought you should also get the final score? I don’t even know what I’m going to say yet.”

“Ah, I think you’ve got some idea.” Carmy lolls his head over to peek at you.

Laughter bubbles past your lips, “I do. I’ve absolutely had better because—what the fuck was that?”

Carmen feels a crooked smirk appear on his own face, “I don’t want to completely bash other chef’s work but fuck, I thought it was just me? You said it got a 4.3 out of 5? The ambience and service was spot on but…the flavor for most of the dishes?”

“I knew you knew something about seasoning,” you continued laughing while carmy rolled his eyes, “should spend less on the tech and interior and more on some fresh herbs.”

“Isn’t it called simmer saffron?”

That made you laugh even harder as you gripped your stomach, “You’ve got that so backwards!”

And carmy couldn’t help but to scan your features as you laughed and he felt his chest getting somewhat lighter? Just listening to the sound of you and being beside you. What kind of feeling was this? He’s felt it before looking at someone else but that feeling was more of a tug with that light while this one slowly poured in from the black.

“Don’t be too hard on ‘em though? There’s always room for improvement.”

“Sure, but we both know the bear is better and you guys don’t have a waist list months in advance.”

“We also don’t have any celebrities showing up either.”

“Yet.”

Carmy taps his fingers against the steering wheel, appreciating that, “right, yet…I’m sorry about March. I was too in my head about so much shit and you’re right, I took it out on everyone and I’m still trying to make up for it.”

“Effort doesn’t ever go unnoticed if people look and feel it hard enough.”

Carmy chews on his lips at that, “if you believe that…then why do you feel what I said about dating—uh us—about us dating is out of the blue?”

“I said that?”

“Your eyes did. It’s the most expressive thing about you which is funny to me when you talk so much shit about mine when you hide the rest of it away on your face. It’s fucking confusing but I think I gathered that from our dinner tonight.”

Carmy was just as detail oriented as you. It was in his language with food and maybe even in his tattoos that you tried to understand starting with his fingers first. The way he spoke about what he would do with the dishes that were lackluster, except for the dessert—that was pretty good. Carmy wasn’t much of a talker because he wasn’t sure how to express himself, always been that way since you knew of him at Noma…but he told just enough in his dishes and you told just enough between the lines you wrote.

Someone just had to look hard enough.

“…I ever tell you I was engaged? Of course I didn’t, we’re still…I don’t know what the hell we’re doing here Carmen but I’m starting to sense that we could be special if we both want this badly.”

“What do you want?”

“Does anyone ever really know?” You laughed, “ I guess someone to look past the circumstanial and I had that once but then he died. So that was the end of that.”

“You swore off love.”

“Love is many things but maybe I closed off the long lasting part.”

Carmy could relate to that as least with family. He never had much interest in romance even growing up because he lacked that confidence in anything being permanent besides the chaos he’s used to, then he found some of it once he proved what he fucking set out to do yet cooking was all Carmen really opened himself up to. While Luca and others encouraged him to have a night out in the town, he always left early or if there was one person that caught his interest, they get to talking and both get bored of each other since Carmy hardly made the move to take them back to his. Before Noma?

Maybe.

Back in Paris there was one that could have been permanent but Carmy had to break her heart since Noma was calling. Culinary was his true love and he honestly couldn’t tell you what she even looked like now if you asked him. Things that should have mattered tended to get buried in the blue of his mind unfortunately.

He didn’t have the time to be attached and you didn’t want to have your heart ripped out again.

“How’d—

“He was a firefighter.” Was all you said and just those words alone told carmy it was anything but peaceful.

It took a lot for carmy to scream at himself how Michael went out and he imagined it might have been the same for you. So he wouldn’t dare ask for further morbid details because what did that help?

So maybe you weren’t wrong about the both of you not being ready to take that step on going on dates but change was everlasting.

“Uh—what about breakfast then after that not so great meal?” Carmy asks as he pulls off from the curb now.

You think about it. Really think about it that carmy starts to assume you may have dozed off.

“Depends on the time honestly? And who am I to turn down a free meal?” You beamed at Carmy who lifts his shoulders with a chuckle.

Carmy explains, “Syd and I usually start our days early, sometimes even earlier for me if I don’t get enough hours in. but thanks to the reno those on the early shift can get prep ready and I heard…you’re not a morning person?”

You’re just as sarcastic but there’s no lies, “I don’t even know my name or birthdate when I first wake up…what do you think?”

Carmy snickered at that, “okay? So how does 10am sound?”

“That’s pushing it but…I think I can be there so that’ll give me the rest of the day to work from home.”

Carmy nods, “can’t wait to read it. Shake on it?”

“On what? My review or showing up?”

“Both.”

“I’m not sending you a sneak peek, maybe syd or even nat but not you.”

“Ouch.” Carmy mocks, still waiting for your hand to touch his.

And when you do there’s a spark, that makes you yank your hand back and you feel like you’re in one of those cheesy teen movies.

You’re aware carmy’s felt that too but he just clears his throat and placed his hand back on the steering wheel. Leaving you to lightly massage the palm of your hand, now glancing at the profile of carmy’s face.

Life takes time to live but once you start to just let it be, the green starts to stand out more and can be equally as joyous…once you get through the rain and mud that is.

And once the ice blue sets back on you, the both of you can’t exactly see the future but there’s always warmth waiting for the cold to give them a try.

𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡ 𓍯𓂃𓏧♡

February fluff anthology series continues here.

[f1-ferraero]

(Credit to @fdataanalysis )

Leclerc was on average only 0.11 off the pace set by Norris in the HEAVILY updated McLaren, despite running in dirty air for the majority of the race and having the oldest tyres of the top drivers (and he was only 0.04 seconds off Verstappen). With Sainz about a tenth slower at +0.19, this made Ferrari the fastest team this race (by an absolutely tiny margin, and keep in mind that Piastri only had 50% of the McLaren updates and that RBR was struggling more than we've seen before this season)

With this in mind:

McLaren have brought their big update this race, but haven't had the opportunity to gather much data on it. With both drivers having the full package in Imola they will need a couple of races to fully understand how the new car behaves before they can bring further improvements.

I'm very curious about this actually. The new McLaren seemed Very temperamental this weekend, as shown by Norris's issues in qualifying (most likely caused by huge shifts in balance depending on the tyre compound). Likely it will take them another 5-7 races before they can bring any new substantial upgrades.

RedBull brought their big upgrade to Japan, (although it wasn't as big as McLaren's) and haven't announced any new date for any major new upgrades (to my knowledge, but please correct me on this if I have missed something!).

The improvement made by McLaren is difficult to calculate because there are a lot of factors to consider, like strategy and potential traffic (also it's currently 2am and I'm too tired. But it should be mostly accurate), but if you look at the average race pace difference between the fastest RedBull and McLaren since RBR brought their upgrades (also conveniently excludes Australia as there were no true representative times set by the RedBulls):

Japan: Norris +0.54

China sprint: Norris +1.08

China: Norris +0.88

Miami: Verstappen +0.07

This gives us an average pace difference of 0.83 before MCL upgrades and technically show an improvement of 0.9 seconds in Miami (but of course this time is affected by RBR having a very good pace in China and an unusually bad pace in Miami, so take this with a couple of grains of salt. On a more regular weekend the improvement is most likely closer to 0.3-0.5 which would put them slightly behind or on par with RBR)

((EDIT: realised when I woke up that a comparison between McLaren and Ferrari would provide more accuracy for the estimated pace improvement, because of both a bigger example size and fewer outliers. This comparison also allows us to consider every race so far this season, bar the Miami sprint (no representative times for the updated MCL) and potentially the Chinese gp as Ferrari lost a lot of time due to lack of tyre temperature. Excluding outliers we get an average pace difference of 0.22 (in Ferrari's favour) meaning the MCL updates gave Norris a gain of 0.33 seconds. This shows that my previous estimate of 0.3-0.5 depending on track is most likely accurate.))

Ferrari however, is bringing their new package to Imola, and it is reportedly as big if not bigger than what McLaren brought — SF-24 EVO (for evolution). This is an upgrade package that Ferrari are Very optimistic about, and it's said to be a radical version of the sf-24. The focus going into this season was to make sure they had a good baseline that they understood properly, and good tyre degradation. This led to the car being quite simple in its design, but as we've seen so far this season Ferrari has achieved these goals. The Imola upgrades will build on this very solid base to improve speed and adjust it towards more oversteer (although we'll have to wait and see if this is successful)

Anyway, average pace difference:

Japan: Sainz +0.42

China sprint: Leclerc +0.74

China: Leclerc +1.19

Miami sprint: +0.17

Miami: Leclerc +0.04

This gives us an average pace difference of 0.5 (0.78 if we were to consider Miami an outlier, and probably less than 0.5 if we consider RBR's rocket pace in China another outlier). With MCL and RBR not likely to take any big steps forward other than what can be achieved through set up and track characteristics, and with Ferrari only needing to find about 0.3-0.5 seconds on average with their sf-24 evolution (which is what MCL did), Imola and the rest of the European races will be very very interesting. My prediction (only slightly biased) is that the top 3 teams are going to be very close depending on the track, but that Ferrari might have an edge if their upgrades work. Ultimately McLaren will probably stay the 3rd fastest team, but no one will have the same level of dominance as we've seen so far.

If Ferrari does have an edge, well Leclerc is only 3pts behind Perez, and only 38pts behind Verstappen with 18 races to go. We might still have a title fight on our hands... At the very least for the constructors and the vice-championship.

Also if I've made any errors, huge or small, please tell me because I am Sleep Deprived and the text is now blurry

[egg-witch]

Alright I promised I'd do a proper theory post so here it is

~ On The Lifespan And Development Of Long-Life Species ~

☆ Xianzhou native humans:

Can live for thousands of years and do not die of old age, rather eventually succumb to mara.

My theory is that their physical development is not directly proportional to a regular human's but slows exponentially: as young children they grow at a typical human rate, then progressively more slowly over time.

Yanqing in the new event estimates himself to be the same age as Luka, who appears as a late teen or young adult, so from this we can gather that by around 18-20 a Xianzhou long-life human has equivalent physical maturity to a young teen. We also know thanks to Huaiyan that they do (or at least, can) continue to age past physical maturity. While we don't really know for sure what's going on with Huaiyan specifically we have been told that he is the oldest of the Arbiter-Generals, and potentially many times older than everyone else we've seen, so it's not a huge leap to assume Xianzhou natives just age extremely slowly past adulthood and most become mara-struck long before they show signs of advanced age.

Culturally, it seems the age of adulthood for Xianzhou humans is variously considered to be 100-200 years old, which also supports this. I do see that as predominantly a social consequence of their longevity and lifestyle, and indeed we know they tend to appear as adults well before the age of 100, though there are suggestions that continuing to grow taller beyond that age is plausible. My impression is that it's typical to spend up to a century or maybe even longer hovering in that late adolescent almost-fully-grown state, by which point physical development has slowed to a crawl.

Adding Xianzhou cultural notions of what constitutes cognitive and emotional maturity (the mental hallmarks of having existed for hundreds of years) = they spend a long time functionally adults but not quite regarded as such by their society.

☆ Vidyadhara:

By contrast, it seems the Vidyadhara typically age at a rate linearly comparable to short-life humans, just much slower, with physical maturity taking 100-200 years to reach and maximum lifespan being around 700 before they must reincarnate. Though we've seen few examples of this (actually I don't know if there have been any in the game itself, though Dan Heng alludes to it in the 2.5 story) the Vidyadhara do physically grow old as they approach this mark.

Complicating things, it's becoming more common over time for Vidyadhara to have stunted physical growth and spend centuries or even their whole lives with the appearance of children - this seems to be purely physical. Bailu is a special case here as it's hinted that her development is being intentionally blocked by the device on her tail.

High Elders are implied to perhaps also be a special case, though this should be taken with a grain of salt as the evidence here is a comment in the context of an exaggerated story as well as one of Dan Heng's Imbibitor Lunae eidolon pictures. It's possible that they are reborn already being mostly or fully physically mature and do not age normally as a result of inheriting the High Elder powers.

Interactions with the Vidyadhara eggs in Scalegorge Waterscape seem to imply that a Vidyadhara can potentially spend several centuries within an egg before being reborn, as some of the inhabitants of the eggs are suggested to have entered hatching rebirth shortly after the Sedition of Imbibitor Lunae and still have yet to hatch, though it's possible these memory impressions are from previous incarnations.

☆ Foxians:

Foxians are the shortest-lived of the "long-life" Xianzhou inhabitants, with a maximum lifespan between 250-450 years. Notably, they appear physically youthful until almost the end of their natural lives, aging rapidly in their final few years.

We don't have much direct evidence regarding how quickly they grow as children, though at a guess I would say the same as short-life humans given their mechanism of longevity is stated to be "an abundance of powerful stem cells" which doesn't sound like it would slow their development so much as just prevent them from age-related degeneration.

[amaiguri]

Wanna see the business side of story-based games?

Me! I want to! 👋 Hi, I'm Amaiguri. I'm a full time gamedev and I've released two games before and correctly predicted how much money I would make each time! Wow!

I've been considering converting the webfic I write into a story game of some kind -- a visual novel or a RPGmaker game or maybe even a walking sim? But I didn't know what I wanted to make!

This story has been THE STORY of my early adult life here -- it is SO important to me. So, while I'm a huge advocate of making whatever you want, I wanted to ensure whatever I put my effort into would be VAGUELY marketable. (Because, lemme tell you, webnovels are not marketable XD)

Before I dive in too deeply, **BIG DISCLAIMER**:

I am not a business person. I am using big, wide guestimates to make non-essential business decisions with myself. BUT I want to share my learnings with you. So, take everything I say with a grain of salt and JOIN ME on this journey:

Earlier this month, I made a post about wanting to make a visual novel. Specifically, a kinetic visual novel where you don't make choices and you just read basically. SO I've now done research into how well they sold. I used THIS website to determine how much money each of these games made (VERY loosely):

Juniper's Knot: ~$4k USD

Higurashi (The Whole Series): ~$300k USD (Averaging like 400 reviews per game and $50 for the whole bundle)

House in Fata Morgana: ~$1 million USD

I picked these out mostly because these are the small handful of kinetic novels I have actually heard about. I'm not saying there aren't other, more successful ones I haven't heard about but I figure, if I'm supposed to be representative of my target audience, I'm as good of a sample as any for this wild estimation.

Besides, Higurashi has a whole anime -- it is definitely fair to use that as an upper end -- and Juniper's Knot -- a tiny game no one has heard of -- as the lower end. (I mean, $0 is the lower end, but... you know...)

This paints a pretty stark picture, honestly. Like, this is looking at 6 to 8 years of work for... maybe a couple thousand for me? Realistically? Maybe up to $300k if I'm super lucky and go viral? And I'm not saying that isn't LIFE CHANGING money but like in the MOST MIRACULOUS scenario here, I am compensated less than my current salary for my current magnum opus. But realistically, I'm looking at maybe $1-4k if I get lucky. I'm not a horror-writer and I'm not a romance writer -- I will not have THAT feral of a fanbase XD And on top of all of that, I don't even play that many kinetic visual novels. I'm barely in my own target demo here!

Now, compare that to the numbers I ran on RPGmaker games where you just do narrative and there is very minimal gameplay:

Rakuen: 4000+ Reviews, over $100k in profits estimated

To the Moon: $8 Million in profit

A Bird Story: Definitely sold worse than To the Moon, was cheaper to make and cheaper to buy -- estimated at $397k

Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea: Dunno cuz it's free BUT its manga adaptation has 267 reviews on Amazon -- so the creator COULD have made bank on the actual game

See how much higher those are? Even when they're not as well known? And sure, the bottom is still $0 ultimately but the upper limit, with the most successful of these titles (and incidentally, the video game that convinced me to get into Game Design) is much much higher.

"BUT BELLE! Laura Shigihara did the music on a lot of those! You don't have Laura Shigihara!"

Ok BET! I'll hire her! The base industry rate for music per minute is $100/min. Let's suppose now she charge 10x that, cuz she's famous -- $1k/minute of music. I get her to compose a 3 minute song for $3k BUT she also brings over... say... 5% of her audience to check out my game.

That's admittedly, a high conversion rate so we'll just take 5% of Rakuen. Now, I'm imagining I'd charge like $25/copy of my game because it's gonna be like 300k words -- people pay $25 for a book of that length, so if I have art and programming also, I can do that. With just her 5% of Rakuen reviewers (21 reviewers of her 4.3k), that's like $7k USD. So, she'd probably just pay for herself and then some.

And to top all this off: I'm back in the target demo. I am ABSOLUTELY the kind of person who will play a solodev's RPGmaker game and forgive all jank and flaws and lack of gameplay if the story, art, and music are good.

That is, of course, making the assumption that I'll make good music and art 🥺🥺🥺

Now obviously, all this is WILD guestimates so like. You shouldn't make business decisions off this. I'm barely making "business" decisions -- I'm making hobby decisions. I have a full time job and I intend to keep it. BUT I think it's pretty clear where the potential money might be for me -- RPGmaker games.

Eris (Blinking): Thank you for reading!

[thecurioustale]

Started reading your work recently and am impressed. How long do you think your current two projects will be when finished, in terms of word count?

Thank you for the kind words, anon! You're the first anonymous ask I've ever gotten that wasn't either spam or hating on me. :3

This is a good question, and one that I think about myself. My answer is kind of long so I'm putting the bottom line up top, and please take this with an enormous grain of salt because my crystal ball is a muddy one and so many things can change (up or down) in the editing:

The Galaxy Federal Inaugural Novel (working title) will probably be between 300,000 and 3 million words. If I really had to take a wild guess and narrow it down further, probably a little shy of the 1 million mark i.e. the 800,000 – 900,000 range.

Chapter 1 of After The Hero: A Curious Tale is harder to estimate for various reasons but is "probably" going to end up in the 200,000 – 700,000 range.

Okay, so that's the TL;DR. Now for the nitty gritty:

I have no friggin' clue! I have found with past experience that my estimates for this kind of thing are usually bad (and not in a specific direction or way).

A natural pair of questions to ask is: "What word count currently exists?" and "Roughly what percent of completion are these books at?"

The difficulty in my answering the first question is that, with the way my writing process works, I'd have to go and manually look at a bunch of different Word files and add it all up—an attainable chore but definitely a chore, as there are dozens and dozens of these files.

I've been working a lot on Galaxy Federal lately, adding a low tens of thousands of new words to the text just in the past three months. I am noticing lately that I am getting tantalizingly close to being able to stitch together a lot of material into a single manuscript document (or a couple documents), which will give me a much better impression both of my progress this year and much better estimating power as to what the finished book is likely to end up being in terms of length.

I had been holding off on looking at the word count till then, as a milestone reward. However, since I've been curious about this myself, and since someone has asked, I went and did a (very!) rough estimate of the existing manuscript text in the Galaxy Federal Inaugural Novel. This does not include supporting documentation, worldbuilding documents, etc.—just manuscript text.

As of today that number is currently 192,235 words (in 38 different documents). However, this is high, because I know there is some abandoned text in there as well as some other detritus inside the various manuscript documents that would be very time-consuming to factor out. I'm pretty confident in saying that the true number is close to 170,000, albeit with the caveat that not all of that, by any means, is going to make it into the final book.

The difficulty in my answering the second question—about the completion percentage—is that the Galaxy Federal Inaugural Novel still has some pretty fundamental unanswered questions and blank zones. I also don't really have a clue yet just how much cutting of existing text is likely to happen in the main editing phase. Probably quite a fair bit. ATH Chapter 1 has far fewer fundamental unanswered questions, but there are still huge areas of the text that haven't begun to get written. Less of it will be cut in editing than with the Galaxy Federal novel, as I have a much tighter grip on the ATH Chapter 1 story and am not writing many sections that are never likely to see the light of day.

A very wild shot in the dark for the percent completion on the Galaxy Federal Novel is that I am between one-ninth and one-half of the way there in terms of the entire project. The more optimistic "one-half" leans heavily on the extensive progress I have already made in world conceptualization, story construction, and the existing word count. The less optimistic "one-ninth" leans heavily on word count projections alone. But I can't stress enough just how wild of a guess this is. As for ATH Chapter 1, an equally wild guess is that I am about one-fourth of the way there, maybe closer to one-half if I again heavily factor in the existing story development and worldbuilding work that isn't directly reflected in the word count.

The good news is that I don't foresee that these rather anemic completion percentage estimates are going to take correspondingly more time in the future than their respective projects have already taken in the past. This is due to so much of the worldbuilding and story construction already being done, and also due to the fact that I have been writing a lot more frequently in the past couple years. If I truly were only one-ninth of the way through the Galaxy Federal Inaugural Novel, and have been working on it for almost seven years, then at a linear rate it would take me another fifty-five years or so to finish, and that's just not going to be the case. I anticipate finishing both books in this decade, barring personal disaster in my life (which could easily happen), and at least one of these two books is likely to be finished well before the end of the decade.

That's good news for the Galaxy Federal Inaugural Novel, which is a standalone work, but obviously raises questions about my ability to complete ATH in its entirety in my lifetime. =[

[undergroundkdrama]

Hey. I’m a bit curious about the net-worth of Korean actors. Recently, the news was out that Han So-hee charged $149,000 USD per episode for Gyeongseong Creature. She’s relatively a new actress, yet the pay seems to be high. This makes me wonder if the net-worth of other actors listed on the internet is correct? I doubt it. They seem to be earning way more than what the internet says.

In your opinion, how much does an average actor — probably one who plays a side character — earns? Basically, how much was Han So-hee earning when she started out and how long did it take her to come to this pay scale?

I couldn't possibly tell you anything really intelligent about the net worth of actors because...well, I don't have a ton of background knowledge. However, this question about Han So Hee's specific salary piqued my interest, so I shall do some cursory research and reason something out.

As for the 150K range for HSH for Gyeongseong Creature, I think we have to build some context.

The highest TV salaries of all time in Hollywood are in the 500K-2M USD range, and I expect that to be our rough upper limit globally. The internet says that the budget for Gyeongseong Creature was 70 billion won (roughly 50 million USD) so HSH getting roughly 1.5 million USD for the series as a lead actress doesn't seem too insane, though I agree that subjectively feels high for someone with HSH's status. I tried to find Park Seo Joon's salary for the same show to get a realistic benchmark but I didn't see anything.

For comparison, Lee Min Ho, who is obviously A-list, reportedly received 700K USD per episode for Pachinko (a record?) and that show had a budget of 100 billion won. Notably, he had reportedly been previously getting around 80K USD per episode. This is why production budget and the context of the series matters; these things can certainly inflate actor rates by huge amounts.

As for net worth of actors, I would assume the 10-30 million USD range for the average A-lister. This estimation is 100% anecdotal and just based on the general numbers I see floating around. Net worth estimations are often pretty flawed, so I would take things with a grain of salt. I'd also assume that the average main actor (not necessarily A-list) would get 5-10K per episode on a standard production. Again, I'm not an expert in this, this is all speculative.

[sunsh4dow]

Obligatory Blog

6500 passengers, 1500 crew, 12 stops, 1 ship. Classic begin of text: done.

To further clarify what this is: it’s a subjective travel blog. At least it was intended as one. I happened to get on a three week cruise on one of the biggest cruise ships there are. To get ahead of criticism regarding exploitative labour and the environmental impact these ships have and any such concerns: I’m painfully aware of it. In fact, I’m usually quick to point these things out when they come up in conversations. Every single cruise ship is one of humanity's many, many big middle fingers towards nature and utter decadence.

Despite this, I’m on board of this behemoth - such hypocrisy. Well, I don’t know what to tell you. There are multiple reasons. It’s majorly a private one that I’m not much going to elaborate on at the moment. The other reasons just added to it.

For example, I’m in between jobs and have the time. Otherwise I would have never wasted three weeks of my precious mercifully-corpo-granted-because-law-forces-them vacation days on this. Also, I got it for a steal, which is the best I can do for now.

It still bothers me. A lot. It feels like betraying my principles. I actually have trouble getting any enjoyment out of this trip, primarily out of a sense of shame. I’ve mentioned it only to a few friends. On social media I post mostly pictures from the cities I visit, but not the ship. Maybe I could get over it, at least for a while - if it weren’t for all the other elements to this fever dream.

That’s where this ‘blog’ or whatever this is comes in. At the very least I can process what I see, learn and turn it into something of remote journalistic value. Biassed, subjective, self-therapeutic ‘journalism’. Maybe someone out there can learn something from it, too.

It may be noted, when I suspect, claim or presume anything, take it with a grain of salt. There’s only surface level research in here. And I can only get so much information with the limited internet I got, anyway. Like these numbers:

The MSC Virtuosa is a massive ship in service for less than a year. 330 metres long, 50 metres wide and 65 metres high. The over a hundred year older Titanic was 260 metres long, 28 metres wide and 53 metres high (notably including funnels). Their respective given tonnages aren’t exactly comparable, but we can estimate that the Titanic fits inside the Virtuosa at least thrice by usable volume. So either the Titanic was smaller than the movie makes it seem - or the Virtuosa is just huge.

When you board the ship, the first place you enter is a flabbergasting, three story high, about 100 metre long gallery. It has an all (O?)LED ceiling that plays different sceneries and animations throughout the day. Since all TVs, crew-tablets and stuff are from Samsung, I’d guess it to be a variant of Samsung’s ‘The Wall’. An expensive tool that requires constant, active cooling or it literally destroys itself. A massive energy sink. Looks sick, cool technology - but insanely unnecessary.

We could make a stamp of that conclusion and hammer it under every paragraph that’ll follow. It sure is true for plenty other things, but cruise ships are way up there.

The bling continues as you walk into a lobby with musicians playing jazzy pop music, framed by mirrors, marmor and swarovski-laden staircases. Everything is shiny and elegant. It all feels high class.

Think Titanic with its big staircase, marmor columns and little orchestra, but dialled to eleven. More of everything and bigger to boot.

But contrary to the Titanic it caters to the common folk, not the extremely wealthy. It is exactly to make you believe you are on the Titanic. A nice facade.

An impression that I can’t shake off at any point. It’s so blatant, too. None of the other passengers seem to notice or bother, as much as I can tell. Do they choose not to? Has to be. Otherwise they’d be like cows on a field. Ignorant to the world out of sight and just happy to be fed while they get milked. And fed and milked they will. Half the ship’s storage must be food and everything not included in the initial ticket cost is overpriced.

Let’s continue with some dry observations. Most of my fellow passengers are older white people. Most of the staff is filipino. Make of that what you will, but it should come to the surprise to noone. I have spoken with a couple of both. When I brought up any critical arguments about cruise ships in front of passengers, they tended to agree. Then again, they usually were quick to add points that their participation or non-participation wouldn’t have an impact anyway. Or they started the next sentence with a ‘But…’.

The brief moments I have talked to crewmembers, they explained that they were paid enough to finance a good, simple life for their entire family at home, as the sole earners. That they were little heroes when they returned. I’m not sure what to think or say about that, so I’ll just leave it to your own judgement.

There certainly are reasons why this economy exists. Capitalistic demand. As much as I can tell, a cruise is the most convenient and comfortable way to travel for elderly and immobile people, of which there are plenty. Compared to a train drive or flight with luggage it certainly is. But that comfort costs. Some of the ‘packages’ for drinks, internet or the shuttles, guides and such are just short of a scam. Everything is priced unreasonably high. A 20 minute shuttle bus drive from the ship to the closest city (without any guides, just transport) will cost you 40 euro or more. Often you could just walk it, but for those unwilling or unable, there’s little choice. Again, it’s simply demand and when people are willing to pay, a company will jump at the chance to make money. That’s the world we live in. Ideals, clean environment, even reason are naive concepts in the face of money. Profit always prevails.

The service on board is great, though. Personally, I’m creeped out by someone shuffling food, drink and silverware around in front of me. The only server I’m comfortable with is the computer kind. But humans… doesn’t feel right. It has something undignifying and old fashioned to it that society should grow out of.

Similar applies to all the other staff in the kitchens, laundry, cleaning and so on that you never get to see.

To draw you a picture of the excess, let’s count some of the facilities. There are about twelve full fledged, high class restaurants and roughly twice as many bars and lounges. All with different themes and styles. On a single, big boat.

I’ve counted a minimum of five pianos and a handful of luxury stores. There’s a big casino and spa area, two theatres and five pools. Add an indoor basketball/multisport field, bowling alley, gym and arcade. And there is plenty more I forgot or haven’t even discovered yet.

Admittedly, there are some gems here. A british pub with a nice atmosphere and solid list of beers, and a sky lounge jazz bar, both with live musicians in the evening. In general, all performers do an incredible job and carry the venues and events a lot. Every day there is a different show in the theatre. Small musicals, classic recitals or international entertainers, all very talented and great. It’s merely held back a bit by noticeable troubles with the acoustic. I’m kind of amazed that no speakers or hearing aids get blown out.

In the end, weren’t it for the excursions to the cities, the daily show and maybe the occasional, casual quizzes, I’d lose my mind. And whoever had the clever idea to put out a table with ever new puzzles deserves a raise.

Other than that, It gets dull very quickly. With all the things you can do here and the plethora of venues and events, in the end, it’s just plain boring. Might be circumstantial of course, but most places are either relatively empty or full of humans.

As much as I could gather, there are ‘only’ 3700 guests on board, so at about two third capacity. The aforementioned gems are usually packed, probably for the same reason I find them bearable. They don’t feel all too unauthentic. The pub’s atmosphere is quite proper, with the most noticeable thing lacking being cigarette smoke. The sky lounge in turn combines all the nice things. High class, good music and a nice view. Both have chill vibes.

In the end, I always come back to the same question: Why does it have to be on a ship? I’d like to know a jazz place like that in my home port. I’ve also sneaked around the ship a bit, places that are definitely crew-only. Most are spartan hallways with signs to all the different locations. But there’s also a low crew deck going around the vessel. It seems to be my only chance to get to the front of the ship, but I never stayed at these places for longer than I can reasonably claim that I’m just lost. There are cameras everywhere.

Humanities hybris knows no bounds. Turns out, the ship in Wall-E or the ‘Elysium’ space station from the movie with Mark Wahlberg aren’t so far from reality. MSC has some initiatives against global warming through a non-profit, but those feel more like greenwashing and money laundering than anything. Just presumption. It certainly exists to ease the minds of their customers. That it will balance out the negative. A nonsense argument for sure. If there was no ship, there would be no need to balance anything.

And so, this man-made jörmungandr continues on, ravaging earth as a perpetual symbol of gluttony, laziness and greed.

Actually, I have no idea where I’m going with this anymore. Travelblog would be a real stretch. So I’ll end this here for now, as a part one - maybe. Considering the time I still have and my boredom, I might very well add more.

If you are interested in pictures, I post my best impressions on my instagram page (@sunsh4d0w). Generally the places I visit when in port.

[bestprintbuy]

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[vinylroadsjunction]

Another theory: in NSR canon, there are hardly no scenes(except for the ending) which takes place in daytime. Which led me to the possibility that Vinyl City citizens are nocturnal. And gems are powered by light so that might cause some……complications. What do you think? Thanks as always!!

I apologize for this long-ass post. I'll explain:

I like to think the people we see in the OG game are the night-life enjoyers. Vinyl City is huge. With a population we haven't seen entirely. We can estimate by the number of skyscrapers and buildings. It works like any human city does, with it's very own day and night life. Some people are more active in the day. Others at night.

May and Zuke, as gems, don't require sleep and can function 24/7 with no problem. Their human friends can't. Aunty, Gigi and Zam (and many of their pals) are of the Nightlife type and sleep most of the day so they can work/party at night. May and Zuke adapted to that and now have a crepuscular life. Like cats!

Lack of light even at night isn't a problem for them because they draw energy from the night sky (stars, moon, etc). It also helps that Vinyl City is illuminated (in this AU, it works like a normal human city powered by electricity and such instead of music) so they don't really go without energy all day long.

Now please, take my rambling with a grain of salt:

Gem bodies are made of hard light in SU canon, but I don't really know is there are any means of powering it (like the way humans need food, sleep, etc.). It's implied in fanon that it's light that keeps a gem helthy and going.

Pink Diamond was imprisoned in a dark tower with a small window. IDK if it's the lack of light or just the concept of being stuck/imprisoned that was the bulk of the trauma. It could be very well be one or both. But it's implied in fanon it's lack of light that's meant to make gems suffer.

Space shouldn't really have that much light to work with, but if you consider stars, planets, etc, that give off light energy, it could count (also, Gem buildings are made of crystalline and reflective material, so light bounces everywhere). If you account for Spinel in her open-ceiling garden (where she stood still for 6.000 years) she was still mostly functioning, probably kept active by the light from the stars above.

For this Au, I went with the light starvation type, and made it that the Cells are built to have little if no source of light. Pink had at least a window, so I take the Diamonds weren't wicked enough to starve her completely or to let her dwell on how much time has gone by, but it's still a cruel thing to do.

Thank you and sorry for the long post.

[ppangjae]

MOON RIVER | Jaehyun (TEASER)

summary. Your mother warned you of many boys. She’s warned you of the immature ones, the players, and even the fools and cowards. But man, she has never warned you of guys like Jeong Jaehyun, the President’s son, who seems to be falling in love with you with every passing day even though he’s already engaged to someone he’s been set up to marry.

pairing. jeong jaehyun x fem!reader

genre. president’s son!jaehyun | arranged marriage!au | doctor!reader | fluff | angst | comedy/crack

warnings. swearing, brief mentions of death, and brief mentions of blood (from surgery) — disclaimer: i know nothing about surgery so please take those parts of the fic with a grain of salt

estimated word count. 20k+

playlist. moon river by jacob collier or frank ocean • suit and tie by justin timberlake ft. jay-z • moonshine by bruno mars • cheese and wine by dpr live • needy by ariana grande • better off by ariana grande • love of my life by queen • die for you by the weeknd • everytime by ariana grande • adorn by miguel • what you heard by sonder

release date. February 14, 2021 👀

“Doc Y/N?” 

The emergency doors are barged open and a nurse steps in. You and Namjoon stare at the nurse who’s in a huge panic.

This feels weird. You raise an eyebrow. “What’s up?”

“We need your help. It’s a very, very, very important emergency.” She says with a squeak. She looks antsy.

You and Namjoon share a look. He sighs. “I guess I’m not clocking out for a while. Go help out, it seems very important.”

You pat Namjoon’s shoulder. “I owe you one.”

He waves it off. “Go before I change my mind.”

As you leave the emergency ward with the nurse, you glance at her. “Are you okay? Calm down first. You look a bit antsy. What’s going on—”

“This just in, an emergency crew was called to the highway for a car crash involving a woman in her thirties and a man who is believed to be Jeong Jaehyun, the President’s son. His condition is still unknown but he has been airlifted to Seoul’s National Health Network—”

Tearing your gaze from the TV screen, you glance at the nurse who gives you a knowing look in return. Coincidentally, your pager begins to buzz. Checking your pager, you feel your heartbeat begin to race with nervousness.

“Lead the way, I’ll follow.” You insist and the nurse starts to jog down the hallway.

Unpredictable mornings, unpredictable evenings, unpredictable shifts. You’ve gotten used to it at this point.

“Please step back, only doctors and nurses are allowed beyond this point.” You notify what seems like the President’s son’s bodyguards. They step back and turn their back towards you as you shut the door. They start to guard the doors to the emergency room.

Stepping into the emergency room, you suck in a deep breath. You’re not sure why, out of the four of you working in emergency medicine, you were called to this job. Lying down on the hospital bed is the President’s son himself. His life depends on you and that in of itself, terrifies you.

Letting out an exhale, you approach him. You analyze him first, checking for bone fractures, but when you look at his head, your hands start to sweat. There’s a large gash on the side of his head. “Continue to give him oxygen. We need to give him blood supply. He has a large gash on his head. I’ll extract the glass from the gash and then stitch him up to avoid any more blood loss before we work on the remaining fractures in his body.”

“Yes, Doc—”

“Breathe in. We will be fine. He will be fine. He’s fighting.”

“Breaking news, Jeong Jaehyun, the President’s son, is now in stable condition. He was involved in a three-vehicle car crash on the highway. More details on his condition are yet to come and a statement will soon be released to the public.”

You slide down the wall, falling to the floor and allowing your legs to give out. You’re tired. You’re extremely tired. You’re job isn’t even over yet, you still have to explain Mr. Jeong’s condition to his parents. Hell, you might even have to release a statement regarding his condition to the public. It’s a huge call for another headache. A nurse enters the room and softly calls out your name. Slowly looking up from your hands, you spot her near the door.

“The President’s here.”

It’s time, you think to yourself. As you slowly get up from the floor, you begin to collect yourself and put on your professionalism before walking out to the waiting room.

It’s almost as if the hairs on your arms had stood up the moment you met eyes with the President. You’ve only seen the President on TV screens, newspapers and websites. You’ve never seen him in person. Hell, you never even thought you’d ever be at one meter’s distance from the President. But there he is, sitting down on one of the benches with a look of concern and worry plastered all over his face. You bite your lip, drawing in a deep breath.

“Mr. Jeong?” You say softly.

He snaps out of his trance. When he looks up at you he gives you a mustered up smile. “Hi, Doc Y/N. Thank you for taking care of my son. How is he? Is he alright?”

You look at his bodyguards, one by one. You gulp nervously, glancing back at Mr. Jeong. “Is it possible if I can talk to you privately?”

He dismisses his bodyguards, leaving the both of you all alone in the waiting room. You offer to take a seat together at the bench. He looks at you nervously.

“First off, I just wanted to let you know that your son is doing perfectly fine. His vitals are normal. He truly is a fighter. He’s been fighting throughout the whole emergency surgery.” You flash him a small, reassuring smile. “However—”

“However?” He repeats you nervously.

You continue. “However, because of the accident, he arrived at the hospital with a gash on the right side of his head. He has a couple of fractures on his legs but those will heal in a couple of months. The gash, however, it was pretty deep and near a critical nerve. Your son will most likely end up in a coma for a couple of months. It is not expected for him to wake up from his unconsciousness right now.”

“A c-coma?” You slowly nod your head. “Oh, good lord.”

You place a hand on top of his after hesitating and contemplating whether it was the right thing to do. When his hand doesn’t move away, you figure that you made the right choice. “Be rest assured he will be okay. As I said, he’s a fighter. On the bright side, patients who survive such a terrible car accident that’s life-threatening will end up in a coma for years. With your strong son, he might be in a coma for much shorter.”

“Oh, thank God.” He sighs with relief. “I’d take a couple of months over years. I just want my son to be okay.”

“Mr. Jeong, we will move your son to the intensive care unit for the first few weeks and when his condition gets better, we’ll move him into one of our private wards.” You explain the next steps. “From there, we’ll just have to wait until he wakes up.”

“I trust your word, Doc.”

You smile. “Thank you, Mr. Jeong. I’ll watch closely on his condition until he is discharged, which hopefully, will be soon.”

“Thank you, Doc.”

You clear your throat, digging into the pocket of your white coat. “Your son was wearing this at the scene of the accident and I figured you would want to hold onto it.”

The President looks down at the palm of his hand to see his son’s engagement ring.

[longitudinalwaveme]

Giant Robots Vs Scale

I am well aware that scale does not exist in this franchise, and that my research was cursory at best, so take all of the following with a grain of salt.

So, the Dinobots. In terms of alt modes, we have:

Grimlock: Tyrannosaurus rex (40 feet long, 13 feet tall at the hips, 14 metric tons)

Snarl: Stegosaurus stenops (30 feet long, about 3 tons)

Slag: Triceratops horridus (26-30 feet long, 6.1-12.0 metric tons)

Sludge: Brontosaurus excelsus (72 feet long; 15 tons).

Swoop: Pteranadon longiceps (6 feet tall, 20-23 foot maximum wingspan, possibly around 35 pounds)

With the exception of Swoop, who's roughly human-sized in alt mode, discounting the wings, they're all pretty large, but not exceptionally so, especially compared to the alternate modes of most Decepticons. (Brawl, a Leopard A1 main battle tank, is 31 feet long; Vortex, a Kaman SH-2 Seasprite, is 44 feet long; the Seekers, who are all F-15 Eagles, are about 64 feet long, etc.)

This gave me the idea of scaling the Dinobots' alternate modes so that they're the same size proportionately to an Autobot car (usually around 13-15 feet tall) that the dinosaur off of which their alternate mode is based would be to a human. While this is absolutely not necessary for the fiction (especially since, as noted above, scale does not exist in this franchise), I thought it would be interesting to see the results. Assuming that we're measuring dinosaurs against a six-foot human male, this means that we're working with a size increase of (very roughly) X 2.5, which gives us the following results:

Grimlock: 100 feet long, 32.5 feet tall at the hips (note that Grimlock would probably be considerably taller at the head since he's an anatomically inaccurate Tyrannosaurus who stands upright), approximately 35 metric tons.

Snarl: 75 feet long, approximately 15 tons.

Slag: 65-75 feet long, approximately 15.25-30 metric tons.

Sludge: 180 feet long, 37.5 tons.

Swoop: 15 feet tall/long, 50 foot wingspan. He'd definitely be more than 87.5 pounds, since he's made of metal and doesn't need to be lightweight in order to fly like a real Pteranadon would, but that is what a 2.5 increase in weight would be compared to the original weight.

So if you want your Dinobots to be really big...there you go. (Well, except Swoop. Even X 2.5 his dimensions are only about equal to those of the Autobot cars...though he does have a longer wingspan than the F-16, the F-4, the Harrier II Jump Jet, and even the F-15).

Other useless (but funny) scale information:

Groove, the Honda Goldwing GL 1200 Police Motorcycle, is only about eight feet long. If we're nice to him and multiply his stats by 2.5 like we did with the Dinobots, that increases to 20 feet and actually makes him a bit larger than his generally 13-15 foot long car teammates. His weight would also increase from 875.5 pounds to 2,188.75 pounds. This would, however, make his motorcycle mode completely worthless as a disguise. (The Dinobots don't have this problem. Since they transform into metal versions of extinct animals, they're not fooling anyone regardless of how close they are to the size of the actual animals.)

Blades, his teammate, is a Bell UH-1V Iroquois Helicopter, and as such, is about 57 feet long and weights about 5,125 pounds (I'm presuming this is empty). If we decrease his size in the same way that we increased Groove's, this would make him 22.8 feet long and 2,050 pounds. He'd still be a little big, but he's scale much better with his teammates than he would at full size.

Streetwise is pretty simple. He's a Nissan 300ZX Turbo police car. He's 14.2 feet long and weighs in at 2,888-3,280 pounds, so pretty standard for a car.

First Aid is a Datsun Vanette C120 ambulance, and he's....surprisingly short. A Datsun Vanette C120 is only about 14 feet long. He's also about five and half feet wide, and weighs in at a surprisingly light 1,907-2,315 pounds. Have I been overestimating ambulance size this whole time, or is he just at tiny ambulance? Note that Ratchet and Ironhide are very similar in size to First Aid, as they are also Datsun Vanettes.

Hot Spot is a Mitsubishi Fuso Great Fire Engine, which was surprisingly difficult to find stats for. Based on the information I could find, he's nearly 25 feet long (24.93 feet) and weighs in at 16,931.5 pounds, making him the heaviest member of the team even if Blades is at full size. So, if we increase Groove's size by X 2 (X 2.5 seems a bit large) and decrease Blades by the same amount as we originally increased Groove, we'd actually have a kind-of sort-of reasonably scaled Protectobot team! As it stands, though, Groove and Blades are throwing everything off to a hilarious extent.

The Combaticons are a nightmarish mess. Since Swindle has become very strongly tied to a jeep alternate mode even though his original toy did not transform into a jeep, and his alternate mode animation model looks a LOT like Hound's, I'll be working off the assumption that Swindle is, in fact, a J59 Jeep, just like Hound. This would make him about 11.5 feet long and 2,665 pounds. This is small. If we multiply these stats by 2.5, this gets us 28.75 feet and 6,662.5 pounds. This would be a huge jeep, but he'd still be smaller (or at the very least, lighter) than all of his teammates.

Brawl is a Leopard A1 Main Battle Tank. (His animation model doesn't LOOK like one, but neither is it incredibly obviously something else, as is the case with Swindle.) Counting the fully extended turret, he's 9.54 meters, or 31.3 feet, long. (The main body of the tank is somewhere around 27 feet long.) He weighs in at 46.5 tons (that's 93,000 pounds!) However, as far as length is concerned, he scales reasonably well with a x2.5 Swindle.

Vortex is a Kaman SH-2 Seasprite helicopter. He's 38 feet, 4 inches long and weighs 7,040 pounds empty. This means he's about 7 feet longer than Brawl (including the turret), and about 10 feet longer than Swindle x2.5. Even at his absolute maximum weight capacity (13,300 pounds) he's still FAR lighter than the tank, however.

Onslaught is a headache, because, while he's obviously an anti-aircraft truck, neither his toy nor his animation model appear to be any particular type of anti-aircraft truck, making it really difficult to guess as to how large he might be.

A YouTube video posted by a user by the name of Nemesis Bloodryche suggests that he looks similar to the Russian BAZ-6909 10x10. It is 11,300 millimetres, or about 37 feet, long, and weighs 48,502 pounds (or about 24 tons). This would scale appropriately with Brawl and reasonably well with Vortex.

Blast Off is a space shuttle orbiter. (If he was the full space shuttle, he'd be even more massive than this!) He's 122 feet long, with a width of 58 feet and 7 inches and a wingspan of 78 feet. This means that he is wider than any of his teammates are long. He weighs in at a 53,930 pounds, which, while impressive, is somehow still less than Brawl (93,000 pounds). He's 3 times longer than Vortex and Onslaught, 4 times longer than Brawl sans turret and Swindle X 2.5, and almost 11 times longer than a properly-scaled J59 Jeep Swindle. Needless to say, he and Swindle are the main reason that Bruticus is such a mess, scale-wise. Believe it or not, though, Blast Off still isn't the worst in terms of scale. Also, if we kept Swindle's increased size and decreased Blast Off's size by the same factor, things would at least become slightly more reasonable, as this would give us a 48.8 foot long Blast Off, which, while still big, is not as ridiculously so.

Most of the Aerialbots, being fighter jets, are at least somewhat reasonably scaled. Slingshot, the Harrier II, is 46 feet long and 12,500 pound empty; Skydive, the F-16, is 49 feet, 5 inches long and 18,900 pounds empty; Fireflight, the F-4 Phantom II, is 63 feet long and 30,328 pounds empty; Air Raid, the F-15 is nearly 64 feet long and weighs 28,500 pounds empty. It's not perfect by a long shot, but it works if you squint, especially since Slingshot is usually depicted as smaller than the others. And then Silverbolt ruins everything. Silverbolt is a Concorde SST, 202 feet long and 173,504 pounds empty. He's longer and heavier than Blast Off, the space shuttle orbiter! Sure, the torso should logically be a bit larger than the combiner limbs, but this is just ridiculous. He's 3.2 times longer than Air Raid, his longest teammate, and 5.7 times heavier than Fireflight, his heaviest teammate! He's even 1.86 times heavier than the 46-ton tank and 1.65 times the length of the space shuttle orbiter! If we reduce his size by a factor of 2.5, Silverbolt would be 80.8 feet long and weigh 69,401.6, which, while not perfect, would be a lot more manageable than a full-sized Concorde SST.

The Stunticons have a similar problem. The four small cars actually scale even better than the Aerialbots. Drag Strip, the Tyrell P34, is 13.58 feet long and weighs 1,370 pounds. Breakdown, the Lamborghini Countach, is also 13.58 feet long, and weighs 2,978 pounds. Wildrider, the Ferrari 308 GTB, is 13.87 feet long and weighs 2,784 pounds. And Dead End, the Porsche 928, is 14.8 feet long and weighs between 1,450 and 1,620 pounds. They're not perfect, but they're all within less than three feet of one another! That's considerably better than the differences between the smaller Aerialbots, and MUCH better than the scale difference between, say, Blades and Groove. But then there's Motormaster. He is a truck and trailer. The "truck" part is the Kenworth K100 Aerodyne sleeper truck, which is about 20 feet long. The problems come in with the "trailer" part. A box trailer is about 48 feet long, and, since Motormaster's robot mode is composed of both truck and trailer, this makes him around 68 feet long, with a rough weight estimate of somewhere between 10,000 and 25,000 pounds. While he's not as huge as Silverbolt, he is just as large, if not larger, compared to his largest teammates, being 4.6 times longer than Dead End and 3.35-8.37 times heavier than Breakdown. Again, thanks to the YouTube video mentioned above for the length of the trailer. That being said, if we did what we did with Blades and Silverbolt and reduced his size by a factor of 2.5, Motormaster would be 27.2 feet long and between 4,000 and 10,000 pounds, and things would actually scale rather well. (This would also help to mitigate the scale discrepancy between Motormaster and Optimus Prime.)

Astrotrain, like Blast Off, is a space shuttle orbiter, 122 feet long and 53,930 pounds. However, unlike Blast Off, he is also a train: the JNR Class D51, which is 64 feet long. (There is a weight listed for the train, 76.8 tons, but I'm not sure if this weight refers only to the engine. Astrotrain's body is composed only of the engine, not the entire train.) This means that, when transforming from a train into a space shuttle, Astrotrain almost doubles in length!

Broadside transforms into some sort of fighter jet (neither the G1 toy nor the animation model resemble any known jet enough to tell for sure). For the sake of argument, we'll say he's an F-15. The F-15 is almost 64 feet long. His other alternate mode is an aircraft carrier. A Nimitz class aircraft carrier is 1,092 feet long. Broadside's aircraft carrier alternate mode would be 16 times longer than his airplane mode! Even Silverbolt, who is massive, would be 5.4 times shorter than Broadside's aircraft carrier mode! As insane as Astrotrain's doubling in length is, Broadside increasing his size by a factor of 16 is much, much more so.

Metroplex transforms into....a city? (Okay, so he really looks like he transforms into a fort, but it's more fun to imagine the scale of a true city-sized robot.) The largest city by land mass in the US, Oklahoma City, is 621 miles squared. While square miles can't really be used to measure distance, it is very, very roughly 16-ish miles in diameter. If Metroplex is the size of Oklahoma City (unlikely), this would make him around 84,480 feet tall. Mt. Everest is 29,032 feet tall. Metroplex would be nearly 3 times the height of Mt. Everest!

When it comes to determining Unicron's scale, the answer depends on whether we go with the roughly moon-sized Cybertron seen in the cartoon or the apparently Saturn-sized Cybertron of the comics. Please note that these estimates are VERY rough. The diameter of the Moon is 2,158.8 miles. If we assume, as seems probable, that Unicron at least doubles in length when he transforms, this would make him at least 4,317.6 miles tall. That's 22,796,928 feet tall! His gravitational force would be about 1.6 meters per second squared, and would have a mass of 7.342×10 to the 22nd power kg. (Mathematical expressions don't seem to work properly on this site.) If Unicron is instead the size of Saturn, he would have a diameter of 72,376 miles. If we double this, we get 144,752 miles tall or 373,460,160 feet! He would have a mass of at least 5.683 X 10 to the 26th power kilograms, and a gravitational force of at least 10.44 meters/second squared. I'm also pretty sure that it would be next to impossible to get a solid planet at this size. Saturn, unlike Unicron, is made of gas, enabling it to be much larger than a metal planet could logically grow.

[gingerbreadart1]

Really loving the latest artwork and lore! You are so creative! Can't wait to see what's next! No rush though, I know the good stuff takes time.

Oh my gosh thank you!!!!! I'm having a bit of a writer's block when it comes to the actual story, so I've been kinda messing around and doing research about different things. Idk if it's obvious yet, but I'm a huge nerd. I especially love science and sci-fi(duh) as well as biology! I actually wanted to be a doctor with some kind of focus on congenital disorders when I was a kid. Weird kid, I know. Anyway, I love thinking about lore and nerdy shit, so I'm gonna take this opportunity to do just that! Beware under the cut is a very long essay about space, civilizations, rambles, and math. Lots of math.

So, I have no idea where I want to start, but I know what I want to talk about so I'm gonna pick something and roll with it. First thing's first, the Kardashev scale.

Because this isn't an English class and I don't have to re-word shit, I'm gonna copy and paste from wikipedia for this one: "The Kardashev scale is a method of measuring a civilization's level of technological advancement based on the amount of energy it is able to use. The measure was proposed by Soviet astronomer Nikolai Kardashev in 1964." Cool? Cool.

So yeah, basically it's an easy way to say how advanced a civilization is, and it's broken up into three types.

A Type I civilization, also called a planetary civilization—can use and store all of the energy available on its planet.

A Type II civilization, also called a stellar civilization—can use and control energy at the scale of its planetary system.

A Type III civilization, also called a galactic civilization—can control energy at the scale of its entire host galaxy.

Just to give you a grasp of what that means relative to us, humans are estimated to be a type 0.73 civilization. We're expected to get to type 1 in a few hundred years or so. Here's where math comes in. Note: I hate, and am not good at math. So, take all of this with a grain of salt.

So, a Type 1 civ. is usually defined as one that can harness all the energy that falls on a planet from its parent star (for Earth–Sun system, this value is close to 1.74×10^17 watts), which is about four orders of magnitude higher than the amount presently attained on Earth, with energy consumption at ≈2×10^13 watts.

Before I go any further, I want to ramble a bit about their star

For my own personal headcanon that the Irken planet is slightly dimmer than earth, I'm gonna make the Irken star a K0 type star. For reference, the sun is a G2V star, meaning it's a yellow dwarf. A K0 star is kind of inbetween red dwarfs and yellow dwarfs. Quick explanation on the letter-number thing, (as best as I understand it, disclaimer I am not an expert) The letter is the classification of a star based on heat and luminosity, going O, B, A, F, G, K, M, L. O being the brightest and hottest (and largest typically) and L being the opposite. The number is size. A higer positive number means a smaller star. A G2 yellow dwarf is smaller than a G-3 yellow dwarf.

Make sense? God I hope so. Anyway, I picked a K0 star for a couple reasons.

They live longer. Our sun has a lifespan of about 10 billion years, but a K type star has a lifespan of 18-34 billion years. Because of this some scientists think they're a prime place to look for life because of their long stability.

They emit less ultraviolet radiation, which can damage DNA, making the developement of life less likely to be hindered by this star

They're 3-4 times more common that G type stars, so it's literally more likely that the irken sun is a K type anyway

They're dimmer and cooler (but not by much) than G type, which fits into my own personal HC about a dimmer sun.

ANYWAY now to get back into the first topic, the Kardashev scale. The irken sun has a temperature of 5,240° Kelvin (8,900° F/4970° C), a radius of .85 (367,445 m/591,345km), a mass of .78 (3.42^30lbs/1.551^30kg), and a luminosity of .40 or 1.531^26 watts.

Compare all this to our sun (Temp of 5,780°K, radius 1, mass 1, and luminosity of 1, being 3.827^26 watts), basically the Irken sun is smaller and less powerful.

Back to the Kardashev scale. Modern day earth is .73, right? I imagine that Irkens are somewhere in the high 1's, like 1.7. The reason I'm not placing them in two is because I don't headcanon that they've built a dyson sphere or a matrioshka brain.

For those who don't know, a Dyson sphere is a hypothetical megastructure that completely encompasses a star and captures a large percentage of its power output. These bad boys are imagined to look kindof like this

Cool as hell right? Also not something I think Irkens would be focused on. they're more about outward and conquering expansion rather than efficiant energy consumption and useage.

With that in mind, I'm going to say on the civilization range Kardashev scale Irkens are 2.000279. The reason for that tiny decimal amount is because a level 2 civ is one that has full control over their solar system, and a level 3 is one that has full control over their galaxy.

Galaxies are huge. Really huge. The Milky Way galaxy (In W&C Irkens are in the Milky Way as well) is on the smaller side, but it still has 100 billion stars, and 100-400 billion planets. Of those planets, an estimated 300 million to 50 billion may contain life, but most people stick it down at the low end of 300 million. So I'm going to use that number as well.

To figure out where they are on the scale, I have to figure out how large the Irken Empire actually is, so I looked at some other fictional empires.

In Star Wars, there are 1.5 million planets under the galactic empire, and an additional 60 million colonies (which can be as small as a space station or something idk)

But in Star Trek, there are only 150 planets in the federation.

In Dune, it's the whole Universe.

So there's a lot of variation here. Personally, I think under a thousand planets is a good number for a rapidly growing Empire that has unrealistic visions of grandeur, so I placed the amount of planets under their control to be 837 and called it a day.

Thus, 2.000279 on the scale.

Now with that number I'm gonna assign Irk a year. Physicist Michio Kaku suggested that it will take a few thousand years for humans to reach type two status, so I'm going to use that as a starting point to work on.

One might tack on a few thousand years to 2021 and call it a day, but I can't do that because the Gregorian calendar is religion based, and irkens probably don't have Jesus so it would be weird to base make a year for them based off of the Gregorian calendar. So instead I'm going to use the Holocene calendar. If you haven't heard of it, you're missing out! It's a very cool calendar that respresents and encompasses all of human history, and it's a very simple change: It adds 10,000 years to the current calendar, so for example, it is the year 12,021 on the holocene calendar. Cool right? The reason for this 10,000 year addition is 12,000 years ago is right around the time humans actually started settiling and building structures and beginning to farm. Thus, the birth of human civilization.

So I'm gonna be unrealistic and apply that 12,000 year first farm -> cell phone period to Irkens, and then tack on... idk let's say 2700 years. Cool beans, now we have a 15,700 year old Irken calendar. Except, 15,700 human years isn't equal to 15,700 Irken years. They're different planets, with different rotations, so they have different years. I have a previous post where I mention some basic statistics about the planet, go check it out! But for here, know that an irken year is 1.3 times longer than an earth year, so their calendar is actually going to be in the year 20,410 in the same amount of time. Let's say it's 20,417 just for funsies.

Hip hip hooray, Irk has a calendar! A year! Woohoo!

And with that, this post is long enough so I'm gonna end it here, but I plan on making a subsequent post that deals with evolution, speciation, and whatnot so stay tuned!

[versegm]

I admit I've been going crazy over this past month over your cryptic Camlannposting and I can't wait to see what the final product will look like. If you don't mind me asking, do you have a rough estimate on when we'll get to see it? I don't want to rush you, but being able to mark a date on my calendar would be nice.

I just finished editing it actually! 

I’m hoping to have a friend take a look at it (genius that I am, I wrote my protagonist as a jewish trans woman, two traits that, you might notice, I am not.) I might ask y’all followers if anyone would be willing to give it a sensitivity check, just to make sure I did not majorly fuck up.

Once that’s done I’ll run it by other friends for grammatical errors and all that boring stuff. 

And then depending on the timing and/or how impatient I am to get people to read it, I’ll ether try my hands at trad publishing or go with self-publishing again.

(the tl:dr is that trad publishing will take a lot longer cuz querying takes a lot of time, while self-publishing is basically ready to go as soon as I got the cover done.)

SO YEAH tl;dr: I’m hoping to open preorders in April for a release in June, but take that with a huge grain of salt cuz that’s gonna depend on many circumstances outside of my control.

[saint-ossifrage]

God i wish I had your determination for fic writing 😭 can I ask how you go about doing outlines, bc im horribly disorganized and I have no clue and would like to learn 🥺 (if thats okay to ask rip)

Ok so first of all. I am so sorry this got so long. Second, thank you for asking about something I love. I never get to talk about this. Unfortunately, that means I have way too much to say about it. I don’t know if you were expecting something as detailed as this...either way, take it with a grain of salt. Different people set up outlines how they like, this is just how I do it. Ok, here we gooo!

What I’m doing right now is working on a detailed chapter-by-chapter outline. I started with a vague plot that I didn’t even think I would write out because of the complexity/length. It turns out my hubris will be my downfall!

Anyway, I started with three broad plot points. Beginning, middle, and end. Example: A gets taken. X happens during their abduction. In the end, B and C rescue them. They’re broad on purpose because that makes it more flexible as I flesh it out, which is important in case I figure out there’s a plot hole or a different scenario I prefer. Then, I start nitpicking as I expand it. I like to ask simple questions. Ex. Why did A get abducted? This helps me determine what happens leading up to the fic and pushes me through the story. Consider character arcs throughout this process.

(I also ask myself how that might affect canon, but that’s because I want this fic to fit into canon without completely changing the ending. So, I lay out the pros and cons of trying to shove my fic into canon. Would this change it too much? Would it make sense at all what with X and Y? I’m kind of a freak about it when I put my mind to it, so you should by no means feel pressured to do the same!)

Once I figure out if it works or not, I start laying down the groundwork. I use Artistotle’s story structure because it’s easy to understand for me. I'm actually drawing out the chart right now. I start by assigning the exposition and rising action to chapters. Additionally, I like to know my ending because, otherwise, the middle might get muddled due to excessive meandering.

Here’s how I lay out chapters:

So on and so forth. This is just how I do it, you can format it however you want! You can have as many scenes in a chapter as you like. I try to stick to 3-4 depending on length for my own sake. I also strive to make my scenes and, more importantly, chapters end on a specific note. It could be happy, hopeful, suspenseful, sad, or even a cliffhanger.

(FYI, I specified DAY/TIME - which would be something like TUESDAY MORNING or MID-TUESDAY, etc. - because I was getting confused about how many days passed in a past fic and how that affected the current fic. I’ve learned my lesson. I estimate how much time a scene would take so I can count up how many days pass over the course of the chapters. This isn’t necessary, of course, but I included it just in case.)

Oftentimes there will be a narrative thread that will wind through multiple - if not all - chapters and this can get very confusing to keep track of. I have to consider how it will develop and build on itself, so I take some time to think through it in a separate bullet list. I write down the basics. For example, if a character gets sick at the beginning of the fic and gets steadily worse, it would look somewhat like this:

Or, if a character is grieving, I jot down the 5 stages of grief. Then, I start brainstorming about how their specific externalizations of each stage would look like.

On my doc, I have four sections. Section 1 is for the broad plot. Section 2 is for the detailed chapter outline. Section 3 is dedicated to the threads I’m fleshing out. This is also where I put the Q&A's. I’m kind of a control freak so I even highlight very important things, like motives for characters. This layout is just so I don’t get confused, but it’s not necessary.

Then there is Section 4: the scrapped bits. It’s important to be flexible while building your outline. You don’t need to completely throw away things that don’t fit! Just stick ‘em in Section 4 or some equivalent and let it rest while you cultivate this story.

Going back to the outline - I give each scene a working title that’s dumb as hell, for fun. Again, not at all necessary, but it makes me laugh. Plus, I like having chapter titles sometimes, and I can get inspiration from a scene title if it fits.

I use this outlining method specifically for multi-chapter fics. I wrote a very long crossover chapter fic in the past and it was a huge, unwieldy project. I know it's sort of the standard, but posting a chapter before the rest of them, or at least the next one, is written made it hard to keep track of all my loose threads. That's why I did a 180 and started obsessively organizing things. Unfortunately for my readers, I developed this method halfway through the fic. Oopsies :3

That’s about it. I did my best to explain it, but I’m not sure how much of this is comprehensible to someone who isn't inside my brain. If anything is unclear please ask me about it. If you can’t tell, I like talking about writing. I don’t mind. I’d feel super bad if my explanation was confusing. I hope it helps 💗

[miran-native]

About Mimeosomes

Everyone who’s played through the main story knows the basics: Mimeosomes were designed to bridge the unknown amount of time it would take humanity to find a new habitable planet. This way, people wouldn’t grow old and be able to maintain the White Whale and protect the Lifehold. We know that they are artificial in nature and that they are controlled from the consciousness stored within the Lifehold.

Elma mentions in one of the chapters (l can’t remember which one rn, but if someone requests it I will look it up) that the Lifehold cannot be too far, since they would otherwise feel the lag. Considering how the player can move freely all around Mira it is suffice to say that while the Lifeholds transmission range is limited, it is nonetheless still huge. Like, encompassing a whole planet huge. 

(Though, this observation might be futile since the endgame reveals that humanity would have been dead all along, so Mira Magic prevents us from making a sensible estimate as to how far this range could have been.)

What the main story chapters don’t tell us are the little details: can mimeosomes get sick, do they need food, etc.

So here is what I found:

Right off the bat: Mimeosomes have organic components. It is why in the sidequest “Lakeside Getaway” the cantors are able to exterminate the workers there, as they had laid eggs inside their bodies. We also see symptoms of sickness in Ajoa (the NPC who either dies or survives depending on your choices) because of that.

Despite that, other NPCs tell us that a mimesome doesn’t experience allergies and that they keep the humans safe from germs and contaminations which means they can’t get sick.

I’ve seen other speech bubble dialogue pop up when you walk past NPCs, talking about the ration bars BLADE use when they are out in the field (unfortunately I didn’t take screenshots at the time because I didn’t think I’d make a blog with all that neat trivia. They didn’t say anything important, just talked about the taste of these things).

If they didn’t need to eat at all, I figure they’d just pass on eating while they are on a mission since it’s just additional hassle – which is why I believe that (part, if not all) those organic components make up the digestive system. A lot of parasites do settle in the intestines, so I feel this is most likely the case.

 Other neat things I found:

We know that mimeosomes are supposed to mimic the actual human as close as possible when it comes to looks, but there are a few NPCs that tell us that there is a bit of leeway included when it comes to outer appearance.

 Hair, for example, can be easily swapped out (or in Felice’s case replaced), so there don’t seem to be any restrictions on hairstyle and color. Used to have straight hair and want curls now? Apparently no problem.

In the same dialogue Dorothy tells us that ‘bells and whistles’ is stuff like less weight, get rid of scars, beer bellies, etc. (I really wish I had screenshotted that latter part too, but again, I didn’t think I’d make a blog with this. I tried talking to her again, but I had cleared a chapter or the main story even and the dialogue didn’t pop up again.)

So from how I understand it: As long as it doesn’t concern one’s facial features (you know, that thing that makes a person actually recognizable, like eyes, nose, mouth, jawline, etc. you are good to go. Height, I assume, is one of them. Not sure on eye color, since technically there do exist contact lenses that change eye color) one is free to do whatever they want. Make oneself skinnier, get rid of wrinkles, whatever comes to mind.

And it kinda makes sense, really. The higher-ups would know that people would never get their old bodies back and start over with newly created ones, so things like scars or overweight and other stuff one did to their body (surgeries and tattoos included) wouldn’t carry over anyway. The new body would be a blank slate in regards to that.

Other bits of trivia:

Another NPC says that one can regulate the growth of their hair and nails, even shut it off completely if they so wish.

 (Unfortunately I do not have a screenshot and I don’t remember which NPC that was, so until I go through the game again and actually find it, take this one with a grain of salt.)

One of the NPCs in front of the mimeosome maintenance center (Kent D. Carr) says that sensory impressions like taste are just data that one could easily recreate by uploading them in the mimeosome maintenance center. Which means that any kind of sensation can be recreated as long as it is in the database. (I assume this doesn’t only apply to the taste of say, chocolate cake, but also touch or maybe even visual recreation of something.)

I find it very interesting that this is even possible to do, since mimeosomes can eat and taste well enough to differentiate tastes (if they didn’t why would fellow BLADEs gush about Lin’s food or complain about the taste of the ration bars. And Lin has this whole thing in one of the official short stories where she complains about the canteen food on the White Whale). I guess it is still different from the real thing. Or maybe this is to preserve the taste of food one can’t get on Mira anymore. All human food is synthesized after all and in no way ‘natural’, so it wouldn’t possibly taste the same.

(I actually do have a screenshot of this buuuuuut it’s in German and I took it with my phone because I couldn’t connect the Wii U with the internet at the time. If anyone wishes to see it, I will gladly upload it though.)

The blood substitute is called “biocirculatory plasma”

This is said by Lin in Ch. 5 after Cross gets their arm blown off (screenshot available, but I didn’t deem it necessary to add as it’s a mainstory cutscene). Not exactly missable, but thought I’d throw it in here in case someone needs it for fanfiction or anything. The plasma is also blue, not red, as implicated by the following things:

a.) Mimeosomes are called Blue Bloods in Japanese

b.) After the attack on NLA (Ch. 8) there are NPC who do express their surprise at the humans being blue blooded/mimeosomes.

c.) This picture:

The plasma also has to circulate somehow inside the body so it’s not a stretch to assume that mimeosomes have an artificial heart that acts as pump.

 Ch. 5 also shows that mimeosomes can be shut down to prevent pain or further plasma loss. It is also possible to just turn off the pain response and stay conscious (I think this was said in the Sylvalum mission “Predator and Prey”).

 Mimeosomes are able to feel some sort of “reverse phantom pain”, i.e. feeling the (partial) lack of a body part even though it’s connected and up and running. This is also part of Ch. 5 after the player awakens in the maintenance center and is asked if they feel okay. One of the options leads to this bit of trivia.  

 Okay, I think that was all I had for now. Thanks for reading :D

 If anyone can provide missing screenshots or has found other bits of trivia regarding mimesomes do tell – or even better, submit!

 An extra bonus:

The name mimeosome may come from the Greek μνήμη (mnimi, pronounced as mnee-mee)) and σώμα (soma). Minimi means memory and soma body so the word would basically translate to memory body. And that’s kina dope.

  Not sure if this is right, obviously, the “mimeo” might be latin or some shit (or ancient Greek which is NOT the same, lemme tell you, as a native Greek speaker) and just mean mimic (as in mimic the human body), but, oh well.

Edit:

So, someone in the tags said that “Blue Bloods” is a term used in Japan to describe the rich and exempt (makes sense, here in Germany the nobility used to be referred to as such as well because the veins look blueish against pale skin. And back then pale skin meant you didn’t bust your ass open working in the fields), so basically sth among the lines of “rich and lucky ones” which is a neat bit of foreshadowing that got lost in translation. (I know who you are but since this was just tag-rambling I figured you might wanna keep your name outta this - if not, I can edit your name into the post.)

They also wondered how tf this mix of organic and mechanic components would even work; now, I don’t think the game is ever going to give us an actually coherent and scientifically sound explanation for that - I think they most likely settled on bullet points of what mims can/can’t do to keep things consistent (bc one would need not only a medical, but also a scientific and engineering degree to have a good grasp of everything and I’m sure af the developers didn’t study up THAT meticulously on this), but I was thinking about it, bc ya know, I studied biophysics and find this kinda stuff interesting af.

And then I remembered that one of the research groups at my university studies the interaction between organic molecules and solid surfaces.

This kind of research can be used to get new insights on how those molecules function, and also helps developing better prostheses (in regards to biocompatibility) - obviously they aren’t trying to make artificial organs or anything related to mimeosomes, but it IS a pretty big field afaik. 

Organic molecules can be viruses or bacteria for examples - and bacteria are a very important part of our intestinal flora.

So, what if a mimeosome’s intestinal tract is made out of a material that those kinda bacteria can thrive on? (It can’t be cells imo, bc human cells have to replace themselves very regulary. Intestinal cells get replaced every 2 - 4 days for example - and making use of life cells that need renewal seems to defeat the purpose of almost-immortal machines since the point was to live in and with them as long as possible as it was unclear when they’d find a new planet to settle on.) Gut flora can digest carbohydrates and certain sugars, so there is a starting point as to how mims could digest food. These bacteria can’t break down everything, but it is common practice in life sciences to use bacteria as hosts to express certain enzymes (even though they weren’t native in that bacterium before), so engineering bacteria that could digest all kinds of food doesn’t seem like too much of a stretch to me.