#but the actual working was like a flow state i didn’t want it to end and it really made me feel better

[standingwavelattice]

i made a pair of shorts out of an old skirt! first time doing it all on the sewing machine :)

some things i would do differently: pocket placement. and i would take more breaks so i don’t rush to Get It Done and then end up with a Situation like the pocket openings.

and i need to figure out how to use the machine without wrecking my upper back. that’s all! i’m very happy with them :)

ID [first picture: some floral and paisley print black shorts on a black futon. the pattern has saturated greens, reds, and purples, but is dominated by gold.

second picture: the same shorts, but a pale hand holds the edge of a pocket, to show both a raw edge and another edge that isn’t fully attached to the seam.] end ID

[mirandasidefics]

hi!!

can i request poly!bat boys x plus sized reader?

if you're comfortable writing about children, could you write a lil one shot about them just taking care of their children throughout a busy and chaotic day and then the 4 of them head to bed for the night and reminisce on their days before children?

(like they love their children to death and wouldn't trade them for the world, but they still acknowledge that their kids are WORK [but judging by the parents, they're not surprised 😭] and not for the weak)

Adventures in Parenting (miniseries)

1. Chaos and All

Pairing(s): Poly! Bat Boys x Plus Size! Reader

Word Count: 1.9K

Warning(s): None really. This is mostly fluff and parenting chaos.

Author’s Note: The more I wrote this one-shot, the more I want to turn this into a small little series. So, if anyone else has requests for this family set up send them in! I didn’t do the multiple mates with this Polyship, I hope that’s okay. I also used my youngest nephew as inspiration for the twins. He is a ball of chaos and I fully believe he is the mortal embodiment of Loki. I love him. Some of these events also may or may not be based on actual incidents that happened within my own household. Don’t worry, no one was injured, and consequences were appropriately implemented. Raising children is not for the weak!  

ACOTAR Masterlist Divider by @tsunami-of-tears

“JUST WAIT UNTIL YOUR FATHER GETS HOME!” The echo of your roar reverberated along the stone halls of the House of Wind. It was quickly followed by two distinct sets of giggles. Cassian and Azriel, having returned early from Wind Haven, overheard the slew of curses flowing from your lips.

Soon, two boys rounded the corner and immediately squealed in excitement upon seeing Cassian. The large Illyrian bent down to his knees as the pair of 6-year-olds raced towards him. Effortlessly, he picked them both up, blowing a raspberry against each of their cheeks. The children were absolutely delighted. That was until you came around the corner following them. Your expression was far from amusing. With a hand on your rounded belly, you came to a stop before the males and your shared children.

“Warren, are you tormenting your poor mama?” Cassian asked.

“No Papa.” 

“Yes.” 

The twins spoke simultaneously. Azriel had to suppress his laugh. Your eyes burned with ire.

“Mama’s being mean!” Warren stated, pointing his little index finger at you. You raised your eyebrow at his boldness.

“Oh, I’m being mean now?” You crossed your arms, your son merely copying your stance. “Do you want to tell Dada and Papa what you did? Or should I?” The two children remained silent.

“Alright then, you had your chance,” You huffed. “Mama is being mean because she had to put out the fire you set in the bathroom!” The two boys shrank within Cassian’s arms.

“They did what now?” Azriel’s expression hardened.

“You heard right. They thought it was okay to play with the candle I had burning in the bathroom,” You explained, making your way over to the Shandowsinger, “A candle that was only lit because Ryder complained about Warren stinking up the toilet!” The twins giggled to themselves. You recognized the mirthful gleam in Cassian's eyes as he tried to maintain a serious expression. It was clear that you were at your wits end. And the stress wasn’t good for the baby in your belly, which was due within the month. Azriel moved to stand behind you, and once in place he wrapped his arms around you and underneath your belly. With the slightest of movements, he supported the weight for you. He could feel the relief wash over you. From over your shoulder, he leveled a stern glare at the boys.

“Well Mama,” Cassian started, “What’s on your mind for a fitting consequence?”

“For these two I honestly don’t know any more,” You tried to keep the hormone fueled frustration tears at bay. “A week with no dessert seems too light, but a literal grounding- a week of no flying-seems cruel. I leave it to you males. They don’t listen to me anyway.”

“I’ll be the first to agree,” Azriel’s words were careful. “They need to understand how dangerous playing with fire can be. One of you could have been seriously hurt.” You placed your hands over Azriel’s in comfort.

“I think the first thing that needs to be done is an apology,” Cassian finally set the twins back down. “Boys, apologize to your Mother.” His tone was stern and unyielding. The voice of a General. That tone always stirred something in you. Azriel’s nose brushed along the side of your neck, and you felt his lips curve up in a smile. Damn your hormones.

“Sorry Mama,” their tiny voices murmured in unison. Cassian shooed them away and back to the playroom. He quickly kissed your lips before following them. You were at a disadvantage when it came to the wild energy of your twins. Rhysand and Azriel could only chuckle to themselves half the time, filling you in on stories of Cassian’s own behaviors growing up. Unfortunately, the two boys had begun to act out ever since your eldest son went to train with the Darkbringers. You didn’t want him to be exposed to the cruelty of Hewn City, but Rhysand insisted upon some type of military training. And since he was your only child born without wings the elite unit of the Court of Nightmares was his best option.

“We’ll take care of the kids,” Azriel whispered against your neck. “Why don’t you get some rest?” You nodded, rubbing along his hands still holding up your belly. He carefully let go, and you groaned at having to support the weight on your own again.

He followed you to your bedroom and helped you settle into what surely had to be the largest bed in existence. After tucking you in underneath one of the deep mahogany throw blankets, he quietly left the room. You could faintly hear your children’s laughter as they played with their father, the joyful noise allowing you to drift off into a peaceful nap.

Hours later you had awoken to the sound of the bedroom door opening. You reached to turn on the faelight near the bed and turned to face the entrance to the room. Rhysand stood near the door, looking sheepish at having woken you. You smiled at seeing your third lover.

“How did doling out the punishment go?” Slowly you turned from your left side onto your back. Rhysand continued to make his way across the room, removing his shirt as he approached the bed.

“No dessert for the week, per Mama’s orders,” He supplied. “And all their toys are being gathered up by Cass and Az as we speak. Well, they get to keep their favorite stuffed toy for sleeping.”

“All of the toys!” You sat up straight. “Rhys are you trying to drive me insane? What are they going to do all day?” The door to the bedroom squeaked on its hinges, the light from the hall revealing Cassian.

“They’ll be in Wind Haven,” Cassian stated as he strode into the bedroom. “With me.”

“They’re too young to start training!” You shouted, which seemed to displease the babe inside you as it kicked against what you could only assume was your kidney. Your hand went directly to the spot and your eyes fluttered closed at the discomfort. Rhysand moved to sit behind you.

“They will not be training,” Rhysand reassured, setting a leg on either side of you before encouraging you to lean back against his chest.

“They will be helping the wounded males with some of their daily tasks,” Cassian finished. “At least tasks that they are capable of doing.” You worried at your bottom lip. It would be a valuable experience for them to have those interactions. However, most of the wounded received said injuries during a fight of some kind. You hoped the twins wouldn’t get the wrong ideas and start to romanticize war and violence. Mother above that was the last thing you needed!

“If it makes you feel better, they will be assisting the shopkeepers and not the battle heroes' ' Rhys said, kneading the muscle around your right hip.

“Additionally, for each task they help with they earn a toy back,” Cassian added. He lounged across the foot of the bed.

“That all sounds more than fair,” You took a sharp inhale as Rhysand’s knuckle rubbed against a particularly painful spot. The pressure against the knot hurt, but also relieved the growing ache. Your muscles had become so tight from carrying the extra weight of your unborn child. You turned your head back to face him and kissed his cheek.

This little one in your womb would place you with five children. Five. You had agreed to a total of three pregnancies. One for each of the males you loved so fiercely. But Cassian just had to sire twins. And then Rhysand insisted on performing the Great Right at the most recent Calanmai. Making this fourth pregnancy completely unexpected. Especially since you also laid with Cassian and Azriel that night. You also had no clue which of the three males was the biological father. But that didn’t really matter in the long run. While each male had their biological offspring, they raised all the children as if they were their own blood. A sudden realization hit you like the cold winter winds in Illyria.

“What about after?” You asked. “I love my children, but we are outnumbered.”

“What if Al-” Rhysand started.

“No, don't send for Aldrin, he’s 15 and just now settling into figuring out what type of person he wants to become. I won’t place the weight of being a caregiver on him. I need one of you here, especially when the baby is born.”

“I will stay,” Azriel offered entering the space as well. He was carrying your current youngest, Aria, in his arms.

“Did she have another nightmare?” You reached your arms out to her, but Azriel didn’t lower her down to you. Instead, he sat in the rocking chair with Aria still in his arms. Her wings were tucked in tight against her back. Her head rested against Azriel’s shoulder; her large green eyes open yet still looking between each of her parents. She was always so quiet.

“No, she saw me and just wanted to be held for a while,” He pushed the rocking chair back and forth using the balls of his bare feet.

“Like father like daughter,” You chuckled. The room settled into a comfortable silence. Cassian at your feet, rubbing them and your swollen ankles. Rhysand at your back, continue his own massage of your lower back. You were in your own personal heaven as you watched Aria from the spot on the bed. Watched as her eyelids drooped before fully closing. Slowly Azriel stood from his seat and carried the 2-year-old to bed. When he returned, Cassian was now sprawled on your right side, Rhysand still sitting behind you.

“It feels like it's been years since we’ve all had a quiet moment like this,” You broke the silence, closing your eyes and leaning onto the male behind you.

“True, so why did you go and ruin it,” Cassian said in jest. However, he quickly yowled in pain from Azriel hitting his arm.

“We certainly have a rowdy bunch of younglings to contend with,” Rhysand hummed, his fingers tracing up and down your arms.

“As I said before,” Azriel began his own nightly routine of readying for bed, “I will stay with you when the baby arrives.”

“What about-”

“If there is need of a spy, we have others that can complete whatever mission I need,” Rhysand advised. “He will be here to assist when either Cassian or I am busy.” You were so grateful for these males.

“And on the bright side, soon they won’t be as…energetic,” Cassian’s devilish smile spread across his face, “And we can go back to more grown-up activities.” You couldn’t hold back the laugh. The other two males just rolled their eyes.

"Need I remind you three, that our grown-up activities are exactly what created those lovely little terrors we call our children,” You gave Cassian a pointed stare.

“While that wasn’t what I was referring to I’m certain we can always accommodate our female’s more carnal desires,” He tried to defend himself. You scoffed, doing your best to hide the flush that bloomed across your cheeks.

“I agree with Cassian,” Rhys started. “While I miss the days before children, those days will return faster than we can fathom. And I am completely content in being present for what we have now. Chaos and all.”  

General Tag list: @loving-and-dreaming

[loserlvrss]

꒰ 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐃 ꒱ 박성호

summary : your boyfriend was beginning to get distant, and you didn't know why

genre : angst, fluff at the end, sungho x afab!reader tws : language, angst, mentions of drinking and neglect author notes : for my requestor, this is our man don't play word count : 2.3k

at first it wasn’t anything big. really no big deal at all. and if you weren’t an overthinker by nature, you wouldn’t have believed anything was wrong.

it started out with simple no’s; denies of affection here and there, progressing into i’m tired’s, and ending with a text.

texts which stated that he would no longer be coming over after practice—that he’s sorry he missed your date because of work, he’s too tired to talk to you after doing promotions all day, he didn’t want to be a bother because he couldn’t give you what you wanted.

but you respected him. you respected him so much you didn’t think the flags were tinted at all. however, you also respected yourself too—knowing there’s only so many lies you’re able to believe—so, that’s where your dilemma lied: how much more could you take? how far were you willing to let it go?

you never would have imagined weighing the pro’s to the con’s, trying to decide if it was good enough to not debate a full-on breakup. you were sick to your stomach, a headache booming against your skull.

it was killing you slowly; as if you were going down in quicksand—which was all but quick.

you wanted a clear answer from him, but to get that you needed clear questions. you needed clear conversation, which would be easier if he didn’t reply to your text hours after you’d send them.

apologies were sounding more like i love you than the actual statement. but, you did love him. you loved him so much you could burst at the seams. you loved him so much you felt him flowing in your veins. he infiltrated your dreams, your heart, your every last thought; and maybe that’s why you hurt so damn much right now.

your eyes were puffy and red, you barely recognized the person you had let yourself become for him. someone complacent. someone so love-drunk you found yourself drinking just to feel something—anything at all.

another shot, and another shot to the heart.

you found yourself, in this state of blurriness, reminiscing the only memories that made you happy anymore: the old park sungho, the boyfriend you had fallen in love with some time ago. you felt a slurred-smile plaster your lips, leaning back against the couch cushion with the shot glass still in your hand. your head fell against the cushion, eyes drifting closed.

you debated the other night if staying in love with him would be harder than letting it wither out like a tulip; getting planted in the ground during fall, dormant all winter, just to bloom for a couple of weeks, then die.

you thought maybe heartbreak would be better than letting this relationship—that felt more like a situationship—cremate itself.

you've been in convenience relationships before; you've been with a man just because you didn't want to be alone, even if he only ever wanted to see you at night. its said loneliness is the most deadly drug. and now, your so-called boyfriend isn't making you feel any different than someone of superficial feelings; to look good on the outside, when you felt rotten on the inside.

you felt unwanted, and that's taken you weeks to admit. you thought you could lie to yourself better than that. you thought you could convince yourself that this is what love feels like, that this a give before the take.

it was a sacrifice you made, but it was never something you had mentally prepared for, simply because you never thought he'd become someone not quite like a stranger but not like an unconditional-lover either.

you honestly didn't know what to call it anymore.

you hated being so unsure, fighting to win love from someone who could say the word so easily. he had your heart in his hands, and you didn't know if him dropping it or putting it back in your chest would hurt more. you hated yourself for being the only reason you're still able to call him your boyfriend, because has he ever really felt like yours in the past couple weeks?

you've sat on his backburner for some time, just waiting for him to come around and stir the pot. you felt lucky, yet appalled to be in the situation you were in, because at least you got to love him—even if it was only once in a blue moon—shouldn't you feel grateful for that? the shooting stars you wished upon only worked so much in your favor before you thought that, maybe they couldn't hear you anymore.

if this was meant to die, why was it taking so long? after all, you were only getting older.

maybe you just loved him too much to stay in love, knowing that maybe it was time to throw up the white flags. he knew everything about you, but even strangers can find out fine-details about someone's life.

sometimes you just wished he'd put you first, only if just once. that would be enough, wouldn’t it?

however, you couldn't blame him. he was being the man he thought he needed to be, the one he thought he wanted to be. maybe if you hadn't opened up, loved him in a way you knew he couldn't love you back, you wouldn't have to argue with yourself. you wouldn't have stayed up all night waiting for the familiar chime on your keypad, you wouldn't be in the stage of denial, pretending that it was just a fluke and would pass. you wouldn't pretend that you could breathe when he was around.

you gave him the key to your heart, but you couldn't make him stay. you couldn't make him want you like you wanted to be wanted.

he was the man of your dreams, everything you've ever wanted... what an oh-so-lonely view.

maybe the picture you painted inside your head was enough. maybe the person who held you in your dreams was enough. maybe if you tried harder he would think you were enough. maybe if you smiled harder it would hold to your face like a sticker. maybe if you changed yourself to be who he wanted down to a T he wouldn't find excuses to tell you he didn't want to see you. maybe this whole thing was just embarrassing. maybe not being loved by him was just so fucking pathetic. maybe he didn't want to be with you because neither one of you had anything good to say to each other anymore.

you can't even remember the last time he gave you a compliment, but he isn't the compliment type, right?

how, in reality, were you supposed to take all of this? you looked in the mirror and told yourself it was dramatic to be upset about something so trivial as a couple words and missed calls, but he swore that he'd never hurt you.

you hadn't realized the tears that began slipping through your closed lids until you felt the soft touch of someone you couldn't decide which side of the fence to fall to because of.

your eyes shot open like it was a nightmare, and for a second he was just a stranger to you; wondering how he got into your apartment.

you could recognize the voice, but you couldn't decide if the sentiment was there, if he was even really standing in your living room looking as jaded as a ghost.

he stared at the bottle, and then your relaxed posture and tears stained cheeks. he wasn't dumb, and he obviously put two-and-two together.

maybe neither one of you could ask the question that kept circling your brain like the ceiling fan you relied on for sleep: should we end this?

"should we?" he asked, the statement sobering you to the core. "...if that's what you want."

you had to laugh before you started to cry harder. "w-what i want?" the empty glass found its way back to the coffee table with an audible thump. "what makes you think i want to end this, sungho? you'd have to see me to know anything about what i think."

"you never made the effort." he shrugged, but he didn't know why he said that. “you should’ve tried harder.”

but you knew his pride was bigger than his heart, and playing this game would only end with a losing screen.

"are you fucking kidding me?" you acted faster than your brain could keep up with, standing up and approaching him. you didn't know what you were going to do, but anything for him to understand how much he hurts you — anything at all. "will you come over? sorry, i'm tired. did you eat? yes. should i bring you guys the cookies i made today? sorry, we're not at the dorm. i'm here, let me know when you arrive. i'm so sorry, i completely forgot about my schedule today, can we do something when promotions are over? can we talk? i miss you. sorry, busy." you used the back of your hand to wipe the tears away. "do you — no, did you ever love me, sungho? do you even fucking care that i only hear you when its your voicemail telling me you're unavailable? do you even know how stupid i feel staying in a bed for two when it's just me every night? i call you my boyfriend but i don't know what that really means. what am i to you? what am i really? because i don't feel like you know either."

the looks on his face could be described as none other than horrified, confused, maybe even a little bit of anger and sadness. he was a mix of emotions, but you couldn't say you were exactly clear-headed either.

you just wished you could read his damn mind.

"tell me! t-tell me i'm wrong." and you couldn't decide if that was a desperate plea to hold on subconsciously making itself known. all it was missing was a broken please, a not-so-silent beg for all of this to just be wrong. incorrect. so far from the truth.

god, you hated him, but that's why you loved him so fucking much.

he made you so angry, so hurt sometimes. he challenged your peace of mind. he made it very known within your psyche that he was different. he was like nobody else you've ever loved. nobody you've ever had the pleasure to touch and be touched by. you were heading full speed for the edge of a cliff with broken brakes. you were so out of control, a one-in-a-million change that you'd survive, but if it meant you could rebuild the house you'd once converted into a home with him, you'd take those odds. those terrible odds that didn't ease your anxiety. but there was always something about him you were prepared to fight for—and maybe that's why you've held onto the edge for so long.

"do you even know how embarrassing it is to be stood up by your own boyfriend, having to cancel your reservation in front of everyone? to have to beg to hold your hand? to have to repeat yourself a million times because you were busy reading texts?" not when the road has ended and you've been exploring the wilderness alone; mapless, in the middle of a thunderstorm. you loved him, you really did, but did you only say that to hold onto any form of comfort you used to not have to fight to get? "i love you so, so much, sungho. i just want you to understand that everything we've built feels so fragile and uncertain. i don't want to end this, but i don't know how far i can go. i-its killing me."

and you could only dig the grave so deep before you hit rock-bottom.

is it too late? well, maybe that's what you feared the most. maybe you feared that he wasn't hearing a word that you've said. maybe every little thing you've overthought was just a regular thought. maybe you weren't being dramatic. maybe it was all okay now that you've finally gotten it off your chest.

so, why did you feel violently nauseous as he stood in silence? why did you regret stepping waist-deep in the mess you've made? if you were making the bed, you had no right complaining that it was too hard.

maybe you should stop blaming yourself...

if it was out of your hands, then why'd you feel the sand slipping through your fingers? why would you feel the shake from the chill that crisped the air? if this was how it was supposed to work out, then why'd you have to meet at all? did he really add that much to your life?

yes.

he brought too much to your life, you were scared to have to figure out how to live without them.

but, maybe you already had?

your mouth opened once again, maybe it was to prompt him into answering you, or maybe you didn't know what you were going to do. nonetheless it didn't matter, as you were shut up before a syllable dared leave your throat.

you had questions haunting you, but with the way his lips touched yours, it made you draw a blank. you wanted to know if he cared—even if only a little—however the beat of his heart, that you could feel through his thumbs against your cheeks, told you a different story. a story you hadn't thought of the ending to yet.

was this just a page you hadn't turned? was this just a dreadful chapter that had been dragged out? was this just a word you couldn't pronounce, much less describe that kept you stuck rereading the same paragraph?

was he finally turning off the burner? was he finally going to either, let you let him go, or tighten your grip?

he pulled back, tears pooling at the bottom of his eyes. "i'm sorry." and that was more than any stupid explanation or excuse could ever have offer you. "y/n, tell me how to fix it—i-i don't want to end this."

you wrapped your arms around his neck, caging him into a long awaited hug. “just love me.” and his stuck firmly around your waist, squeezing tighter every time he felt a minuscule movement.

“i do.” he whispered back through quiet sniffles, right next to your ear, it gave you goosebumps. it was something you wanted to hear, needed to know. “i really, really love you.”

reblogs, likes and comments are greatly appreciated! thank u!

— perm tag list .ᐟ send an ask to be added c:

[mikavlcs]

Dinosaur Talks

Pairing: Wednesday Addams x reader

Summary: You like to talk about dinosaurs, and Wednesday likes to listen.

Warnings: soft/ooc!wednesday (does this even need to be said)

Word count: 0.8k

Notes: this is literally just for 🦕 anon. i hope you enjoy it, dino<3

Masterlist

“The Mesozoic Era, also known as the Age of Dinosaurs, is comprised of three periods—the Triassic, Jurassic, and Cretaceous periods. The first real dinosaurs actually emerged in the middle of the Triassic period—aw, come on, Thing. A draw four? Really, man?”

Calm, somehow smug-sounding taps sounded from atop her bed followed by low mutterings about betrayal, but Wednesday paid it little mind.

Her fingers flew across the keys of her typewriter with a rhythm and purpose she had become well acquainted with. She was in what many referred to as the zone—when words surged from her like the rapids of a raging river.

It was a state of being achieved by having complete, unrelenting attention to the task at hand. A familiar feeling when it came to her writing.

You were in a similar state. Though instead of writing out the gory details of a detective’s crime scene like she was, you were entrenched in your ramblings about prehistoric creatures.

An interesting sight, but not an unfamiliar one to Wednesday or really anyone that knew you.

It was no secret that for whatever reason, you were very fond of dinosaurs.

They were a special interest of sorts, something you were exceedingly passionate about, and though she herself cared little about reptiles gone long extinct, she indulged you for reasons not entirely yet known to her.

“Fascinating,” she responded evenly, allowing her mind to file the information away with all of the other technically useless dinosaur-related factoids you’d voluntarily offered up over the months she had known you.

You shot her a smile that likely would’ve blinded her if she were looking directly at it. “I know right? How about you, Thing? You think it’s fascinating?”

Wednesday could picture him giving you an excited thumbs up in response, and the airy laugh you let out all but confirmed it.

“Okay, it’s your turn, bud. Yeah, I’ll keep going,” you took a breath, sat up a little straighter. “The Triassic period ended with an extinction event. A bunch of sudden, widespread volcanic eruptions wiped out all Triassic archosaurs apart from dinosaurs, pterosaurs, and crocodiles. This ushered in the…”

You trailed off slowly, animated frame going oddly still in her peripheral. 

The abruptness of it made Wednesday spare you the smallest of glances, and she found you looking back at her, brows drawn, and bottom lip tucked between your teeth.

“Actually, uh…nevermind, I’ll save it for later. After you’re done writing.” You flashed a small smile then turned back to your game with Thing.

Quiet embraced the room. The only sounds that could be heard were the shuffling of cards and the occasional taps from Thing. And Wednesday should have been happy about the newfound peace, should have been able to put even more focus on her work. But she couldn’t.

Because suddenly, it was as if there was a dam halting the natural flow of her artistic river, causing the joints in her fingers to stiffen and her mind to go frustratingly blank.

Usually, it was the opposite. Enid’s incessant noise was a notorious distraction during her writing time and though she’d grown somewhat attached to her roommate, there were times when she wished she had a muzzle on hand so she could have just a moment of tranquility.

And yet now that she had the silence she normally longed for, she didn’t want it.

Her mind instead craved the timbre and intonation of your voice when you spoke about something with immense fervor. The space felt empty without it.

With a silent sigh, she set her hands on her lap and turned to you, momentarily giving you her full attention. “And what of the Jurassic period?”

Your head whipped to the side. “Huh?”

“That is the period that follows the Triassic period, correct?” she prompted.

You blinked a few times, clearly unsure, but an expectant raise of her brows was enough for you to take the extended olive branch.

“Well, yes,” you started up again, tone excited but informative, “the Jurassic period is indeed what followed the Triassic period, and thanks to Jurassic Park, it’s the most identifiable of the three. It was during this period that the first gigantic sauropod and theropod dinosaurs appeared—"

You looked away to continue your card game with Thing, words never faltering in the process, but Wednesday’s eyes stayed on you for just a bit longer.

Your ardor for these stupid dead animals was not cute—she refused to ever allow that word into her personal vocabulary—but it was something akin to that. 

Endearing, perhaps. Possibly charming. Or maybe something even more…

No, that wasn’t a rabbit hole she was interested in diving into just yet, she decided.

Returning her gaze forward, she flexed her fingers experimentally, exhaling when she found them relaxed and ready, just as they were before.

Satisfied, Wednesday turned back to her typewriter and continued the paragraph she was working on, once again letting the currents of her creativity flow from her freely to the symphonically sweet sound of your voice.

[flowery-mess]

Hotel room

Ugh, I loved it from the beginning, not so much in the end. Let me know your opinions about this! Also, I struggled a lot with using past and present tense, English is not my first language, so I think there is lot of mistakes, feel free to let me know about them!

Summary: reader struggles with rumors about Noah dating their tour support, that leads to heated conversation with open ending and some hurtful words

Noah Sebastian x female reader

THIS STORY IS FICTION

Do you believe in love at the first sight? No? Me neither. But it’s the closest thing to describe my relationship with Noah.

We met at my friend’s James birthday party. I was newly moved to the states. I initially moved here for a year because of my work internship and James was the first person I became friends with at work. Somehow, he was connected to Matt, who was also invited to the birthday party, and he brought the guys along. “The more the merrier.” His words, not mine.

I heard about them, I listened to their music, but I didn’t want to let my inner fangirl out of me, so I kept it cool the whole night, even forgetting that they were also there.

I can’t say I am not a party person, I am, just my social battery lasts around two hours, then I need to recharge myself. So after wishing James happy birthday, talking to some of our coworkers, dancing and drinking, it was time to slip outside to take some time off.

Sitting on a garden sofa with wine glass in my hand, with my eyes closed, I heard the glass door slide wide open, the noises from inside entering my ears for a minute, second slide of the door cutting them off.

Out of curiosity I opened my eyes and saw tall person in the dark, just standing and looking around. After minute, the person started walking towards me. As I was sitting in the dark, I guessed I wasn’t seen by the person.

“Already taken.” I spared that poor person a scare.

“Oh, sorry, I’m gonna go back then.” I heard slight disappointment in that voice, and after thinking that person was feeling just like me, I spoke again.

“That’s okay, it’s big enough, you can sit here with me.”

“I don’ want to bother you, seems like you’re enjoying whatever you’re doing here.”

“I’m enjoying the silence, that’s what I’m doing here.”

“Interesting, that’s exactly what I came to do here.” I laughed a little, surprisingly not so mad about someone interrupting me anymore.

“Come enjoy the silence then.”

I realized it was him the second he came out of the shade, as the light of the moon covered his face.

“Oh hi.” I tried not to sound too obvious.

“Hi.” With that he sat down next to me.

And that was the beginning of a very long night. Lots of talking. We talked about everything, the conversation flowing like it would never stop.

“So how do you like the states so far?” Noah asked.

“Do you want me to be honest or are you too American and can’t take it?”

“Try me.” He said playfully.

“The food? Terrible, I’m surprised you Americans don’t die at the age of 30. People? I’m so glad for working at company with foreigners, you Americans are weirdos.” He smirked at that answer. “But I’ve been here just for two months so far, so who am I to judge right?”

“Yeah right, who are you, you European woman.” We laughed at that.

He was actually pretty funny, calm and very well spoken. Which, judging by lyrics of his song, wasn’t surprising.

“So how do you know James?” I asked Noah, honestly curious, cause I knew James knew Matt, not the whole band.

“He worked with us on a few shows. On our smaller shows in the beginning, he actually helped us a lot. We didn’t have security or something back then, so it was either no security or security at the venue we were playing. James sometimes grabbed few of his guys and came to the show and helped us with security in general.”

“By his guys you mean our coworkers?” I found that funnier than it probably was, but it seemed funny to me, that he referred to them as James’ guys. Me and James work at a security company. We work “at the top” aka in the office. Hire people, make contracts with venues or artists, schedule shifts etc. We provide security of any kind. We both are on the same position, most of the time in the office from 9 to 5, but he never mentioned he used to go out in the field before.

“Oh so you two are coworkers?”

“Yes! He is actually my favorite coworker and favorite American. For now.” After few glasses of wine and talking to Noah already for an hour, I felt confident in little bit of flirting. If you count that as a flirting.

“For now huh?” at least he seemed to catch on that.

After what felt like forever, Jolly came to get Noah, said that him and the guys are leaving. Noah went with them, we said goodbyes and I thought that was it. Nice tipsy talk, no exchanged numbers, no see you next time.

But exactly three days later I received a message from unknown number, saying “hey it’s Noah, I asked James for your number, I hope that’s ok. We’re having release party for the new album, thought you and James could come if you wanted to :)”

So, me and James went to the party. After few hours I found myself sitting outside again, Noah coming too just a minutes later, saying it was coincidence, but later in our relationship admitted he saw me going out and went after me.

We talked again until James came to get me and said we’re heading home. Same scenario as last time.

And then we had dinner at his place. Dinner at my place. Movie night at his. Movie night at mine. Sleepover at his. Sleepover at mine. Little innocent touches became into lustful and needy ones. Everything went great, we completed each other just perfect.

We didn’t rush into anything, we handled him going on tour just fine.

I also made big decision with extending my job in the states and staying for Noah, not moving back home to Europe. We were perfect, so what changed?

.

It all went downhill before the guys left for the tour with Bring me the horizon. I always felt bittersweet about them touring in Europe, cause that was my home and it made me feel homesick, almost kinda jealous? And knowing they would then continue with their headlining tour made it even worse.

We made a plan that I would fly to my home country week before their concert there, spend some time with my friends and family, join them for the rest of the tour and go back home with them.

I was handling everything really well through the tour with Bring me the horizon. Loved the content and the opportunity for their band. But everything changed when they released their new song with Lenora. Their support on the tour, female singer from the same label. The song started wave of content with Noah and Lenora. Edits, rumors, theories, because our relationship isn’t public, so everyone thinks they are in one.

I didn’t have any reason to be jealous of her, because I trusted Noah, he knew her longer than me, he would tell me if they had history. It was the edits and rumors and seeing it everywhere. It made me uncomfortable. Everyone saying how cute they are on stage together.

So it all mixed together, Noah being in Europe with different time zone, so we couldn’t talk much, Noah and Lenora content jumping on me everywhere, it was too overwhelming for me.

I didn’t want to take it out on Noah tho, it was not his fault. But something in me changed, some of my insecurities I guess, went out and he noticed.

“What’s going on love?” He asked later today when we were on the phone with worried voice.

“It’s nothing, I just really want to be on the plane already.” I said little white lie, sitting on our bedroom floor packing my things for next days flight.

“Only 9 hours and you’re on the way babe!” he said with excitement in his voice.

“Oh you’re counting?”

“Of course I am! That makes it 7 days and 9 hours before we’re together.” His smiled made me feel a bit better, but I was sure I can’t tell him anything now. He was enjoying the tour so much, it felt wrong worrying him with my feelings now.

“I can’t wait Noah.” I felt like I was gonna burst into emotional mess soon.

“Me too love, me too.” We shared a look through the screen for a minute, before Nick saying they had to go on stage in a few minutes. We said our goodbyes and I love yous and hang up.

I closed my eyes for a minute, just focusing on my breathing and trying not to cry. I couldn’t explain what was going on in my head even if you held gun against my temple.

.

Long story short my week with friends was amazing. I felt more relaxed, until I saw Noah’s contact on my phone.

Everyday I felt my mood change a bit and my body stiffen more, when he texted or called me. And he noticed. Last few days it projected to the way we spoke to each other. It was cold? Just simple “Hi, the show was great, can’t wait to see you, love you.” conversation for literally two minutes.

Through the week I also couldn’t miss the new content about Noah and Lenora and that made me less and less excited for my hometowns show and for seeing it live. They were going to the next city later the next day after my hometown, so we decided to stay the night at a hotel, which I saw as great opportunity to talk about this tension, that was created by the lack of communication and through phone screen.

.

I went to the venue earlier to meet the guys there, then I would be coming back in the evening with my friends.

Entering the venue was weird. I wasn’t this nervous meeting Noah for our first date, so that was a weird sign for me. Security guys led me to the green room, so there I was. Standing behind the door, holding my breath in and not wanting to go inside.

It took me few more minutes to calm myself down, but I opened the door.

First person I locked eyes with was Folio. You can’t be sad seeing him excited and happy that he can hug you. Folio is the one I’m closest with from the band, so the hug really gave me a bit of courage that I needed. Then I was met with Jolly’s big hug, then Nick.

Last but not least, right, was Noah. We stood just looking at each other for a minute, neither of us making the first move.

“Hi.” I said first.

“Hi.” was Noah’s reply. I spoke first, he acted first. He grabbed my face by my cheeks and kissed me. Just a peck, as if he was asking for permission. So I kissed him back. The kiss was so tense, nothing like before.

“I think we should talk.” He whispered, keeping this conversation just between the two of us.

“Yeah we should. Can we do that after the show?” I really didn’t want to make tonight’s show bad for me, him or anyone else. He was enjoying this tour so much, I couldn’t be the one taking the joy from him.

“Okay. You’ll leave from here with us right?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, meet us here after the show okay?”

“Yes.”

And that was it. I stayed for an hour, but we didn’t talk more then the short conversation. When they left for soundcheck, I left to meet my friends for drinks before the show.

.

Their new collab song with Lenora started playing and I prepared myself mentally for what I’m going to see.

Lenora was dressed in tight navy jumpsuit, with her long hair in low sleek bun as she started singing her part. I saw Noah come on the stage, with the mask on his face. For most of the song he sat on the led display, but then he came down and I saw them interact in real life for the first time. It didn’t make me jealous, it made me think of how many new videos I’m gonna see the next morning. Their little handshake. Cute, right? Gonna be on my for you page too. The song is great, she is great singer, I don’t have anything against her, I just can’t help the pressure from fans. I knew what I was getting myself into when we became a couple. But you can’t prepare for some things until you live them through.

I enjoyed the show, I love their music and it was really lovely to see Noah performing live after long time, seeing him in his element enjoying himself. We locked our eyes few times, seemed like he was checking in on me, because he doesn’t like me watching their shows from the crowd, saying he’s scared some is going to hurt me. We shared looks, smiles through the entire show. For a moment I forgot what was waiting for us once we make it to our hotel room.

After saying goodbyes to my friends I made my way to the green room. I walked in and felt the good mood coming from everyone in that room.

“Hey Y/N! Did you like the show?” Jolly gave me a side hug after I closed the door.

“I loved it! And the fans did too, wasn’t the crowd amazing?”

“It really was, hometown making you proud huh?”

“Oh definitely, I was scared you’re not gonna come back here if they fucked anything up.” I continued conversation with Jolly for a bit longer, feeling Noah’s gaze on me the whole time. He looked sad that I was talking with a smile on my face to literally anyone other than him. That went on for like an hour, then he finally spoke to me.

“I’m done with this. Let’s leave and short whatever shit is going on out.” Was what he said to me.

“Hey everyone, we’re leaving. We haven’t seen each other for a bit and I’m really tired. So goodnight everyone, thanks for tonight, good job.” Was what he said to others.

.

Ride to the hotel was silent. Neither of us spoke a word. He already had key cards to our room, so we went straight to the elevator, then straight to room number 497.

Noah opened the doors and let us in. I started opening my suitcase to get something to sleep in, I was in need of shower.

“Can we talk now, please?” Noah finally broke the silence in the room.

“I would like to get shower first. I need a minute to process everything in my head and what I want to say.”

“Oh, okay.” I felt bad, because he looked like he was tired from the show and from whatever was going on between us, like he needed this pressure off his shoulders, but I needed to think what I was actually going to tell him, because suddenly I felt like I was making big problem over nothing.

Hot shower helped relaxing my body, but my mind was still tense. Do I make this bigger than it needs to be? Is he going to laugh at me, my feelings? Is he going to break up with me?

So many thoughts at once. That gave me courage to get out of the shower and get this over with. Release the pressure off bot of our shoulders.

I slowly opened the door that were connected to our bedroom.

Noah was sitting in bed, his back against wall behind him and his phone in one hand. I carefully walked around the bed, sitting on my half of the bed in the same position Noah was. He put the phone down at my presence, but looked straight ahead of him. I did the same. We stared at the wall infront of us for a moment, neither of us wanting to start the conversation.

I never experienced this tension and atmosphere between the two of us. This was new and we didn’t know how to handle it. Neither one wanted to start a fight, things just needed to get cleared.

“I want to say something, but I don’t really know what. I don’t know what happened, I don’t know if I did something. I’m really confused now. It seems like everything changed overnight.” Noah was the one to speak first.

“You did nothing wrong, Noah. I don’t know where to start I am so confused with my mind right now.” I felt tears forming in my eyes already, as very sensitive person, I cry every time I have to deal with something. And honestly this was making me so sad I was surprised I didn’t cry much sooner. But I needed to get it off my chest, so I continued.

“It’s just after you left for the tour to Europe, I started feeling really weird, jealous I guess? This is my home and it felt weird, you being here without me. I love that you are enjoying it and loving it here, but it made me miserable. Made me feel homesick, because I realized that except you and the boys, I have like two friends in the states. So, I just felt like everything I was missing was here at the other end of the world than I was. And honestly, I felt like shit.” Before continuing my monologue I turned to face Noah, see if he was listening to me, watch out for his reactions. He turned to face me too, he had look of worry and empathy in his eyes. He made me feel heard.

“And then Concrete forever started and suddenly there was Lenora with you. I know what you are going to say, but let me finish first please. I know we talked about her and I told you that I feel fine about her and you don’t have to ask me for permission to work with someone. And that is still true, but I can’t stand the rumors about you two. I want to keep our relationship a secret from the public, but I really wanted fans to know that you are dating me, not her in that moment. I can’t stand those tweets and videos on my page, with theories about you, how you look cute together and other shit. That hurts me Noah.” At this point I was crying, letting it all out.

His face got worried, he tried to hold my hand, but I started feeling tight knot in my chest and I needed to do something rather than sitting in this bed. I stood up and started walking from one wall to the other. It was also the first time I let Noah speak since the start of conversation.

“Why didn’t you tell me? We could talk about it and come up with solutions that would be okay for both of us.” Of course, I was expecting question why didn’t I tell him sooner.

“Because it’s not your fault Noah, or Lenora’s. You do your handshake; you sing together and that’s fine with me. I don’t blame you two. You two are not the ones that make content of that. I trust you 100% and I didn’t want to make you feel like I don’t. I thought I should deal with that on my own.”

“Well we are in a relationship, both of us, it’s never just you. You can tell me anything and I will listen, okay? We can always make a statement or perform differently if that’s what’s gonna help you. I don’t mind that at all.” At this point Noah was standing in front of me, trying to catch my hands in his to make me stop panic. After he managed to catch my hands, he pulled me in for a hug. I realized I needed that. Physical touch, just feel his body. Our chests rising at the same time as he took deep breaths with me and held my head against his chest.

“No you don’t get it Noah.” I pulled away, ready to let all my thoughts out.

“I don’t know what is going on, I never felt this way when you went on tour in the US. I just- it makes me think if moving to the US was good idea. I love you Noah, I do, but you are the only thing keeping me there and when you’re not there, I go crazy.”

“Let’s not make any sudden decision right? Cause you’re making me scared right now of what’s going to happen. Your feelings are valid and I get it, but I’m gonna be back home in a week and then we can find solution together. You can come with us on the next European tour.” As if that was solution to everything.

“It’s not just that and you know it. I don’t even know what solution I want, I’m a mess Noah and I don’t even know what to say, how to explain my feelings.” I started sobbing so hard. I hated this feeling. Feeling of being so distant with myself, not understanding what I feel.

“Oh baby, let me help you. Let me in so we can do this together.” I knew he was asking for me to stop pulling away from his touch, because that’s what I did for most of the conversation.

“It’s hard for me Noah, I’m used to dealing with everything by myself I don’t know how to do this. Maybe I wasn’t ready for a relationship yet? Maybe we should have waited before making it this serious.” I saw the hurt on his face, he was scared of what I’m gonna say next, but there was nothing, just silence.

“I think every relationship has its ups and downs and that break up isn’t solution, if that’s what you mean.” He was being very patient with me, but I saw him losing it a bit.

He was tired, physically tired and I wasn’t helping with this emotional mess. After a moment of him waiting for my answer that never came, he continued. "I hear you, I want to help you, but I don’t really know what you want from me now. We can’t stop going on tours in Europe, you say you don’t want to go with us. What’s gonna happen if next time another female singer is coming along? The rumors won’t just stop, until we make it public. You know I hate that idea just as much as you do, but I’m willing to do that if that helps you.”

He spoke for a few minutes so I calmed myself down a bit, focusing on my breathing, but before I could say something, Noah spoke again.

“And I don’t want to hold you against your will in the states. If you don’t like it there, you can move back here and we can do long distance, but apparently that’s not what you want either.” Guess he just had enough and decided to choose harsh words.

“Yeah well maybe you could be more understanding, that I moved there to be with you, because I love you. I love you, not the country. I would move for you anywhere.” I spoke words of love, but my tone was just as harsh as his. I know repeating the whole night that I don’t know what I’m feeling or what I want is frustrating but attacking me for my feelings for sure doesn’t help.

“Didn’t you say you needed to escape this country? From your broken family and ex? Don’t put this on me, you could have said no to moving.” Ouch, I didn’t expect that.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to say now, you know why I took the internship. We talked about that. Don’t make up something that’s not true.” My voice was quieter now, because he stabbed in a wound that he knew hurt me a lot.

I took the internship 3 months after me and my ex-boyfriend decided to end our relationship after 5 years. It wasn’t ugly break up, we grew out of each other and wanted to experience some new things, meet new people. I didn’t leave the country because I was broken hearted, but because I felt like I finally had space to try new things. I chose united states, simply because it was the only open spot that did require only English, not other languages I can’t speak. It’s that simple.

“Something that’s not true? So you didn’t run away from you mother who thinks you’re not good enough and caused you mental problems and from dad that doesn’t give a fuck about you?” ouch again. I didn’t recognize this side of Noah.

“Noah I-“ I scoffed with a deep breath, “why are you bringing this into conversation that is about something else? My family has nothing to do with how I feel about us. And for your information I told you all about that because I thought I could trust you, not for you to have something to throw at me in a fight for fucks sake!”

I let my hand slip through my hair, turning my back to him, because I didn’t want him to see that he made me cry again. But he didn’t stop.

“Well your upbringing has so much to do with how you handle your relationships so I think we should talk about that.”

“You know what I think I should change room with Nick or get new one just for myself. I wanted to have conversation about what was happening to us, but I believe you’re just tired and didn’t mean anything you just said. So I’m gonna pack my things now, leave this room and I’m gonna see what plane tickets I can find for myself for tomorrow. Seems like we both need more time to think about what’s going to happen with our relationship, how we treat each other, because I know damn well I don’t deserve you talking to me like this when I have been nothing but respectful to you.”

“Running from another problem, aren’t we?” He laughed, making reference to me moving to the states.

“Shut up Noah, shut up. Get some sleep and think about what I told you in the beginning. Think about what you want from this relationship, because we’re gonna have another conversation when you come home.”

I didn’t listen if he said anything else, I went to the bathroom to pack my things. When I came back to the bedroom, he was sitting on bed, facing the big window and his back was facing me. I made sure everything was in my luggage, I left my key card on the bed and went for the door.

“Goodbye Noah, I love you.” No reaction from him. My heart ached so much.

.

I got myself new room, paid for plane tickets for tomorrow evening and tried to get some sleep.

Actually, I cried myself to sleep, thinking of what was going to happen with our relationship once Noah comes back from tour. I didn’t recognize him tonight, he was like a whole different person than I knew before tonight. I was hoping for an explanation, for a valid reason he acted the way he did tonight, still hoping it was just his tired mind talking. Or maybe his frustration from the lack of my communication skills.

I was almost asleep when my phone buzzed with a new message.

I managed to read it before fully falling asleep.

“I’m sorry, I love you.”

[seungfl0wer]

*Purple*

Seungmin x Reader (Fem)

Although this is shorter than what I normally write, I feel like this needs warnings. Also a note this scenario has been on my mind for awhile and I just needed to write it lol.

Warnings: Seungmin says some harsh things, the sex not feeling good anymore. You have to use the safe word. This has slight smut, angst and a happy ending (of course)

-🩵

Seungmin has had a bad day up and down. He hoped the party after work with his amazing girlfriend would help him relax but- of course it did not. Seeing all the men wanting to talk to you made his blood boil. He knew you would never do anything on purpose you were just so kind and outgoing. However the feeling of today made it seem more- flirtatious?

When you both got into the car seungmin gripped the steering wheel tightly. Not saying one word. You felt your heart racing not knowing why he was upset. Trying to ask him was only met with a ‘I’m fine’. Which was obvious bullshit. Walking up to the apartment as you opened the door you were met with Seungmin grabbing your arm pulling you to your room.

“You think you can just act like a slut and expect things to be fine?” He spat. He practically ripped your clothes off before taking his own off. “Seung I didn’t-“ you started to say before a strong smack to your pussy was connected. “Shut up.” He hissed. All the rage from today came flowing out and before you knew it he had you face down ass up. Face buried into the pillow your noises muffled.

“You’re such a dumb whore you know that?” He says as he’s pounding into you. “I bet if I wasn’t there you’d be sucking face with those guys” he said his words actually digging into you. The feeling of everything was honestly off a bit. It wasn’t that it didn’t feel good but it also kinda didn’t? Seungmin slapped your ass hard “Little slut probably thinking of them railing you right now huh?”

Another smack this time it was harder, it hurt and not in a good way. You felt tears forming in the corners of your eyes, however when you tried to move seungmin just pushed your face down into the bed more. You couldn’t move and then the panic started to set in. ‘Did he really think those things?’ Your chest was starting to tighten as he fucked you. There wasn’t any pleasure anymore and you started to sob.

“Crying because you’re getting punished? Such a fucking baby” he spat taking his hand to smack your ass again. The bright red marks turning a soft purple. Seungmin moved the hand that was on the back of your head to your hips as he fucked you deeper. Finally. You pulled your head up and could only muster up a small “purple.” Your body shutting down as seungmins movements began to slow. “Pur-ple” you stuttered out again. This time seungmins body froze. “Purple?” He repeated eyes going big.

This was the safe word you guys had in place at all times, even when you weren’t being rough it was there just incase. Seungmin quickly wrapped his arms around you pulling you to him. “What do need pup?” He said trying to make his voice as sweet as possible but you could hear how frantic he sounded. When you didn’t reply he titled your head up to him to look at you.

The damn holding back all your tears finally breaking as the flood poured from your eyes. Your body trembled under him as you curled up into a ball in his arms. Head finding cover in his chest where you muffled cries dared to come out. Seungmin felt his heart breaking at the state of you. “Y/n- hey m’sorry- don’t cry” he rubbed your back trying to help you calm down. As the flood started to die down you sniffled a small “do- you hate me”

Seungmin nearly lost it, biting back tears this whole time trying to be there for you. “Love, id never hate you.” He said rubbing the back of your head. “But..” you started to say feeling more tears about to fall “you think I’d really cheat on you?” You said choking those tears back.

“No! Y/n no. I know you’d never do it.. my brain was just putting bad thoughts in my mind. I didn’t mean it in any other way than dirty talk” he said pulling you into him even closer than before. “Y/n I love you with all my heart, I’m so fucking sorry I made you feel that way.” He said kissing your head softly. You nod looking up at the him, he took the opportunity to wipe the tears from your face.

“Want me to run a warm bath? We can soak together would you want that?” He coo’d. You smiled a bit nodding yes. This was always one of your favorite things just in the warm water as seungmin held on to you from behind. “Alright love let me go start the water and we can get in. Do you need anything a drink? Snack?” He asked still worried about you. You shook your head no looking at him again “just need you” you said softly wrapping your arms around him.

💙 If you’d like to read more of my stuff you can find it Here: Master List . Thank you for reading and if requests are open or you just wanna talk feel free to send me something🩵

[naviaknell777]

Dyeing/Cutting Your Hair Headcanons!

All ROTTMNT boys x gn reader (romantic+established relationship)

[Requested from Quotev. Requests currently CLOSED] Posted 10/31/23, happy Halloween!

On a whim, you decided it was time to change up your look

You’ve had this hair length and color for a long while, and it was time to change things up for once!

So impulsively, you booked the soonest appointment to your hair salon, deciding that it would be a surprise for your boyfriend as well

You directed the hairdresser the way you wanted your hair, the shade of the color(s), and by the end of it, you could barely recognize the person in the mirror, but you couldn’t be happier to see the new you with your new hair style!

You just hoped your boyfriend would be happy with your new look!!

Raph

Wasn’t expecting the new change, but loved it anyway!

He really doesn't care what you change your hair to, or even if you got a new tattoo or piercing, he just love you

No matter what you look like he loves you either way, but he thinks your new haircut and color is amazing

“Wow! Your new look is awesome, [n/n]!”

“Ooh, and that color is perfect for you too!”

He’ll throw a thumbs up as well, smiling cause he just loves you so much

Will stare at your new hair for a bit, he’s just absorbing the new look

Overall, thinks you look lovely per usual!

Bonus points if you get it dyed red though, he’ll blush a bit more than normal

Leo

He’s a very go-with-the-flow kinda guy, so despite you not impulsively cutting/dyeing your hair before while you two were together, he’s not surprised when you impulsively do it

“Wow babe, you look good!”

“That color is really working for you!”

Will ask for a turn around from you so he can get a 360 of your new hair

Will probably touch your new hair too (unless you two explicitly stated boundaries when it comes to not touching your hair) just because he wants to

Bonus points if you get it dyed blue, will tease you about it specifically, and very much would love your new hair more if you had it dyed his signature color

“What, you love me so much you had to dye your hair blue? Can’t get me out of your head, huh?”

Mikey

Surprised and screamed cause he thinks you look amazing (not that you don’t normally look amazing, but you know what I mean)

Not actually sad he didn’t know about it but would’ve been happier to know about it at least right before you got it cut and dyed

“Ohmigosh [n/n]! Why didn’t you tell me?” He pouts “I so would’ve joined you or helped you pick out a shade of color!”

“Not that you don’t look amazing, because you do! I just like doing things with you!”

Would appreciate to know and go with you next time because he loves spending time with you and wants to experience it with you in the future if/when you get it cut/dyed again

Bonus points if you dye it orange, will fond over it

“Aww and your hair is orange now too! I love it so much!”

Donnie

Would definitely like to know ahead of time

He wanted to be mentally prepared for the new look

He likes to be an organized and somewhat prepared guy, so when you come to the lair with a new haircut and color he has to do a bit of a double take

Tries to be so supportive though

“W-wow, [y/n], your hair-“ and he smiles a bit awkwardly

It’s not that he’s mad at you, just a bit disappointed he didn’t know ahead of time

He still thinks you look handsome and beautiful and loves you no matter what! Just wants to know changes like this ahead of time is all

“You look good!”

Bonus points if you dye it purple, likes that you (probably) thought of him when choosing that color, will tease you lovingly like Leo

“Purple suits you well, [y/n].” And he smirks

Overall loves your new look, even if it did take him by surprise at first!

——

All Rights Reserved ©️NaviaKnell777 2023

[swarvey]

paper rings | harvey x f!reader

summary -> you decide to surprise harvey with a belated birthday gift; harvey tries to fight off some unwelcome thoughts. warnings -> none! harvey just has some horny thoughts. wc -> 3357

a/n: surprise, an update!!

i loved writing this chapter. i actually feel like this song could have fit well as this story's title as well!! very excited for the upcoming chapters, though i am a little sad to think this will eventually have to end </3

well, either way, hope you enjoy ! <333 seeing y'all comment and stuff honestly is so heartwarming, so thank you all!!!

ch. 10 | ch. 11 | ch. 12

paper rings masterlist

chapter eleven: state of grace -> "this is the golden age of something good and right and real."

Your eyes opened to the warmth of sunlight flowing through your window, a relaxed breath escaping you. A pleasant smile settled on your face as you sat up, rubbing your eyes and remembering the words Harvey had confessed to you the previous night.

I love you.

For a split second, you wondered if you dreamt it all, if it’d all been too good to be true.

Then, you saw that the bouquet was still missing from its usual spot on your wall, and you knew it had all been real.

You grinned, sitting up with a renewed energy. Finally, you were able to wrench out the phrase you craved to hear from your best friend. Despite the efforts — and pain — it took to get there, you still managed to do it, which, in your eyes, was all that really mattered. 

You recalled the insecurities Harvey had spilled to you; more so, how he felt he didn’t deserve you. Out of everything that happened, those words hurt by far the most. You saw the torn, broken look in his eyes, knowing him well enough to see past it and realize his wounds weren’t fresh. You didn’t even want to know how long his horrid thoughts had stewed in his head. Probably way too long. What a terrible way to spend his birthday.

Then, an idea struck you — one that you knew would take the majority of the day and your best efforts, but you felt in your heart it would all be worth it to see his face light up. Besides, Harvey had never hesitated in the past to put you at the top of his list of priorities.

You figured it was time to give back.

-

“Forgive me.”

“Elliott, please—”

“I know,” the overly dramatic poet choked out, grasping Harvey’s hand with both of his as if his life depended on it. “It’s terrible of me to ask you this, I know, but please, forgive me for the trouble I caused, my friend. I just . . .” Elliott looked up at the doctor, his bottom lip trembling and eyes filled with guilt. “I just couldn’t stand the feeling of lying to Leah, and I knew she had no ill intentions, either, but— oh, I know it’s no excuse for what I did!” 

After his birthday, Harvey decided it was finally time to reconnect with his two supportive friends, shooting them both quick texts to meet him at the Stardrop the following evening. He roughly explained everything that happened with you, not forgetting to mention the stinging silence he initially left you with. Elliott’s face dropped when he got to the part where you told him you knew about everything, how Leah had taken the big step to be the one to tell you. Fortunately, his friends were as understanding as ever, more happy than anything that he got the chance to reconcile with you. 

Unfortunately, Elliott decided the guilt weighing on his shoulders could only be lifted by apologizing for nearly twenty minutes straight.

“And here I thought my life couldn’t get any worse,” Shane gruffed, only half joking. He proceeded to roll his eyes so hard Harvey worried he would hurt himself. “Fuckin’ hell, just forgive him already, would ya, doc? I can’t stand this anymore.” 

Harvey scratched the back of his neck before placing his free hand on Elliott’s shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. “It’s fine, Elliott, I promise,” he replied, unable to keep the amusement out of his tone. “It’s my fault for not telling her, after all. Besides, it all worked out, anyhow.”

“A-are you certain?” He leaned forward, nearly toppling over his seat onto the Stardrop’s floor. “How can you be so kind? It’s truly inspiring, doctor, you must let me buy you a meal for your generosity!”

“With what money, pal?”

Elliott fell back into his seat with a huff, managing a glare at his friend before sipping his drink. “With the money I made from selling my first novel, thank you oh-so very much.”

Harvey blinked in surprise, while Shane gawked at him. “Are you being serious?”

Elliott’s chest puffed up in pride. “Completely. Of course, my first patron was Leah, but I’m planning on having a live book reading at the library soon!” Harvey smiled warmly at the sight of his friend’s joyful expression, proud to see his hard work come to fruition.

Then, Shane frowned slightly and shifted in his seat. “What, so you didn’t even bother to ask me for one? C’mon, the least you could do after buggin’ me about this damn book for nearly a year is offer me a copy. Geez.” 

A pause. “You . . . actually want one?”

“Yeah, yeah, save the sap, it’ll make me barf.” He paused. “It’s kid-friendly, right? I’ll get two, give one to Jas. Maybe one for Vincent, too, fuck it.”

Harvey could only laugh as he watched Elliott pull Shane into an unreciprocated hug, his eyes gleaming with grateful tears and he tightly wrapped his arms around him. Despite his loud, profanity-filled protests, there was a light in Shane’s gaze that hadn’t been there a couple seasons ago. After promising to see the therapist Harvey recommended to him, he’d slowly begun to make progress, even deciding to replace his usual beer at the saloon with a glass of pop instead. 

“Alright, enough!” Shane finally regained his stance in his seat, running a hand through his ruffled hair. He mumbled something neither of them could hear, but Elliott beamed nonetheless.

“I hope you’ll save me one, Elliott,” Harvey said sincerely. “Though, by the looks of it, you might have quite the fan already.”

“Shut it, doc.” 

Elliott let out a hearty laugh and gestured to Emily for an order. “Well then, my dear doctor, you must emphasize on your reunion with your lover,” he pressed on, looking at him eagerly, “but not before I order you a promised meal.”

“What’ll it be, gentlemen?” Emily asked as she wandered over, looking at the three with a bright smile. Her gaze stopped at Harvey. “Hey, what a nice surprise! I haven’t seen you here in a bit. I hope you’re doing alright, people have been saying they haven’t seen much of you lately.”

He cleared his throat, nodding. “There were a few . . . things, I had to deal with, but it’s all cleared up now.”

She hummed, but something about her look was a little too knowing. “Well, that’s all that matters, right? As long as you’re okay.” She leaned in a little then, close enough so she could whisper in his ear. “Haley’s just about ready to murder you, though. Thought I should give you a heads up.”

She smiled sympathetically when Harvey groaned, covering his face with his hands. He didn’t even bother to hear what Elliott ordered him and focused on the fact that one of your closest friends in town was probably plotting his murder.

“Everyone knows, don’t they?” he asked, voice muffled. He lowered his hands to see Shane hiding his smirk with his drink while Elliott sighed.

“I wish I could tell you otherwise, but yes,” the writer responded promptly. “I wouldn’t fear too much, though, especially if the two of you are on good terms! I’m sure she’ll clear the air.”

The door to the saloon opened, and — as if your mentioning had summoned you — you walked in wearing your work clothes, dirt and grass stains covering the front of your overalls. Your eyes met his immediately, and Harvey instantly looked away, feeling as if he had just seen his crush in the hallway. You tended to have that effect on him.

After the two of you shared a kiss the night before, he insisted on walking you home, tightly holding your hand the entire way. He was visibly reluctant to leave your side, allowing himself to, for once, be as clingy as he felt. When the two of you reached your front porch, he’d grabbed your hips and drew you closer to his body, looking at you with nothing but pure adoration.

“We have a long way to go, don’t we?” he asked softly, bringing a hand up to caress your cheek. 

You hummed in agreement, turning slightly to kiss his palm. “Good thing we’ve got all the time in the world, right?” Your eyes seemed to glitter when he looked at you, his breath faltering.

Harvey didn’t know why your words made him feel the way he did — then again, he couldn’t explain a lot of things he felt when it came to you — but in that moment, a wave of gratefulness washed over him, and he couldn’t help but pull you in for another gentle kiss. He thought back to what you had told him all those years ago, how he had good karma, and he decided you might have been right after all. There was no other explanation as to why you were still in his arms after all the trouble he caused.

“You truly are my weakness,” he blurted suddenly. “My vulnerability, the crack in my defense. I think I would do anything for you.”

You laughed at his words, and the sound made his heart race. “You’ve been hanging out with Elliott too much.” You paused then, leaning in closer to his ear. “Is that a promise, Harvs? Anything?”

He shivered, swallowing hard. “Of course.”

Just when he thought he’d earned another taste of your lips — a rougher one maybe, one that led to your bedroom — you pulled away, sporting a mischievous half-smile.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you chirped happily. “Goodnight!”

Harvey let out another groan at the thought, trying to ignore the stir in his pants. We’ll take it slow, he reminded himself, not even noticing your figure appearing beside him. We have all the time in the world.

“Earth to Harvey, hello?” you sang, waving a hand in front of his face. “You there? Or is nobody home?”

He scowled as his friends stifled their laughter, though managed a smile when he turned to greet you. “Hello,” he sighed, pushing his glasses up. “Ignore them, please. I’m not sure why I associate with them.” 

“Hey, a ‘thank you’ would be nice, buddy,” Shane said, voice dripping in leftover humor. “We’re the ones who’ve listened to all your little love-sick rants.”

You perked a brow. “Love-sick, huh?”

“Let’s go for a walk, shall we?” Harvey desperately suggested, taking out his wallet and throwing some coins on the table for his drinks. “I’ll talk to you two later. And, thank you,” he rushedly added. As he grabbed your hand and practically dragged you out of the saloon, he missed their lopsided grins at his words.

Harvey let out a long breath as he stepped outside, resting his hands on his hips. “I felt like I was suffocating in there,” he admitted, finding your hand once again.

You snorted. “Looked like it,” you replied, lacing your fingers with his. “I was looking for you, anyway. Did you get my text?” 

He blinked, grabbing his phone out of his pocket with his other hand to find one unread message from you.

Y/N : you at the saloon? i’ve got a surprise for you

“A surprise?” he wondered aloud. “For me?”

“Yes, Harvey, that’s what I said.” You smiled at his embarrassed frown, leading him through the plaza toward the clinic. “C’mon, I’ve been working on it all day!”

Just as he was about to question you further, a figure with long blonde hair and a blue tank top marched in front of him, successfully cutting off his hold on you.

“Don’t think I’ll forgive you as easily,” Haley snapped, and Harvey flinched at her furious tone. “You’re a real lucky guy, you know that, right? ‘Cause if I were her, I would have taken those glasses and shoved ‘em right up your—”

“Haley! There you are,” Leah laughed awkwardly as she grabbed the blonde’s arm, attempting to tug her away. “We’re going to miss the movie, dear. Let’s go.” She turned to Harvey, and he was glad to be met with much kinder eyes. “I’m glad you’re alright, Harvey. We’ll see you around.” Leah’s eyes lit up. “Oh, and happy birthday! Even though it’s a day late.”

“Thank you,” he responded, anxiously glancing at Haley. A pout rested on her lips as her partner nudged her.

“Yeah, whatever, happy birthday, I guess,” she mumbled, and you laughed at her reaction. Her expression lightened after that, the ends of her mouth lifting slightly. “I expect a call later, okay?”

“Will do.” You waved at the couple as they walked away, grabbing Harvey’s arm and continuing to lead him. “She’s pretty mad, if you couldn’t tell.”

“Really?” he asked dryly, fiddling with his tie. “I thought she seemed quite happy to see me.” You rolled your eyes, excitedly bringing him up the stairs to the fountain. “What is it, exactly?”

“What’s, what?”

“The surprise.”

You huffed, walking past the fountain. “Well, it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if I told you, would it?” 

“I . . . suppose not, no.”

“Then be patient, we’re almost there.”

You only stopped when the two of you reached the Community Center, two birds chirping curiously down at your arrival. Harvey examined the building, noticing how, despite it looking as beat up as it usually did, it felt more welcoming.

Before he could continue, you swiftly snatched his glasses off his face, covering his eyes with your hands.

“What—”

“Just go with it, Harvs, please? ”

The pleading tone of your request nearly sent him spiraling. Nearly.

Take it slow.

He nodded, swallowing thickly once again. You’re going to be the death of me, he thought. He almost voiced it to you the door opened, but was interrupted before he got the chance.

“I felt a little bad yesterday night,” you admitted, leading him somewhere unknown. “With everything going on between us, it was hard to plan something for your birthday.”

He sighed, a pang of guilt running through his chest. “Now, you know none of that is—”

“It doesn’t matter,” you interrupted. “It’s over now, and we’re . . . good. Better than good, I think.” Harvey smiled, wishing he could see your face. “And, even though it’s not really your birthday anymore, I still wanted to give you something better than a dried bouquet.”

“That bouquet means much more to me than you think. It’s all I need, really,” he said softly, then willed himself to say his next words. “You’re all I need.”

“And you’re being a big ‘ol softie.”

Suddenly, he felt your hands drop, slowly blinking his eyes open. Of course, at first, all he could make out were blurbs of green and white.

“Um—” Although he couldn’t see, Harvey could practically hear you roll your eyes as you passed him his glasses.

“Surprise.”

He couldn’t believe it.

In front of him was a completely refurbished room in the Community Center, the walls smooth and the flooring void of any faults. That, in itself, was impressive to him. 

The room wasn’t exactly what caught his eye, though.

No, what caught Harvey’s attention was the various model planes scattered across the room, along with the small workbench in the corner.

“I had to go into the city to find those, it took me all day,” you explained, trying to read his reaction. His mouth remained parted as he walked around, taking his time to take in everything. “This is meant to be the Crafts Room. Mayor Lewis asked me to fix this place up a while ago, and that’s where I met the Junimos. Thought I’d add my own touch, though.” 

Harvey nodded absentmindedly. He couldn’t bring himself to speak. Quite frankly, he was in shock, unable to believe what you had done for him. His gaze only pried away when a familiar squeak sounded beneath him. He smiled as Blueberry hugged his foot. 

The spirit looked at him expectedly, as if asking, Do you like it? 

“It’s—” He stopped then, finally turning to face you. Warm tears filled Harvey’s eyes as he stepped forward and engulfed you in his arms, burying your face in his neck. “It’s more than I could have ever asked for. Thank you.”

He felt you slump in relief, gladly wrapping your arms around him. “I’m glad you like it,” you breathed, pulling back to see his face. “You had me worried there for a second. I thought it was too much.”

“No, this is perfect.” Harvey laughed, bright and unlike he’d ever laughed before, and kissed you. “I can’t even find the words to explain how I feel.”

You grinned. “Maybe ‘happy’ could give you a good start.”

“No, that’s too big of an understatement.”

“Hm. ‘Joyous,’ then?”

“I believe those are synonyms, honey.”

You blinked, a blush creeping up your neck. Harvey didn’t notice, too busy walking over to the desk that seemed made for him. Blueberry poked your ankle, and you took it as a sign to stick out your hand. The Junimo happily walked up your arm, settling down on your shoulder and closing its eyes. 

“This . . . this looks just like the one I had in my grandparents’ house as a kid,” he realized, eyes widening.

“You used to spend so much time sitting there, working on your planes, ignoring me,” you added playfully. “If you ever get bored, you can come here, now. Add to your collection. You can show them off to everyone, too, after I finish rebuilding everything.”

He flushed at that, turning to meet your eyes. “No, I couldn’t, i-it’s too embarrassing—”

“Harvey. If this —” You swept your arm around the room. “—is what you enjoy, you shouldn’t hide it. It’s an important part of you, and I know everyone in town would be impressed.” You gently tugged at his hand, holding it strongly in your own. “Plus, I find it very endearing, you know.”

He raised a brow, grabbing your other hand. “Really? Building model airplanes is something you look for in a partner?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

Harvey shook his head, tilting it as he studied your gaze. “This is still so surreal,” he muttered, glancing down at your interlaced fingers. “I feel like I’m dreaming.”

You nodded, then smiled. “You know, I never would have guessed this.” You lifted your hands slightly, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “Now that it’s real, though, I’m not sure I’ll ever let you go.”

Harvey’s heart was just about ready to leap from his chest.

“You won’t ever have to,” he vowed. “Never again.”

“That’s a big promise.”

“It’s one I’m willing to make.”

“When did you get so bold?”

“When you became mine.”

Your eyes narrowed, flicking between his eyes and lips. “Is that what I am?” you questioned, voice light and innocent. “Yours?”

Slow, Harvey. You said you would take it slow.

He feigned a cough, looking away. “That’s what the bouquet meant, right?” he asked, raising one hand to swipe his mustache. “It means we’re official.”

The look you gave him was teasing, dangerous, but you covered it up with a laugh, starting to walk with him back towards the door. Blueberry had disappeared from your shoulder at some point; Harvey guessed even spirits grew tired of couples dancing around each other.

“Come on. Let’s go home.”

“‘Home’?”

You looked back at him, huffing. “We’re official, right? That means you get to help me finish up the chores for the day.”

He thought for a moment, then nodded. 

Chores. He could do chores. He’d done plenty of chores with you before, when the ache in your grandfather’s back became too much and he needed a couple extra pair of hands. Chores would be good for him, Harvey thought. They would keep his mind off the uncomfortable tightness in his pants that’d been taunting him for hours, keep his dirty thoughts at bay, hopefully even keep some distance between the two of you, just for a little. Just until he could calm himself down and remind himself he was supposed to be going slow.

“You can spend the night, too.”

His face fell.

I’m screwed.

[lust4life01]

hi! can i req a makeup sex fic with det loki? maybe after he upsets reader or something? thank yousm 💋❤️

Hello my love!!💘 absolutely loving this request, thank youuu <3

Crying while I’m cumin.

Warnings: Slight angst, possessive Loki, fighting, smut, oral fem receiving, penetrating sex, makeup sex. 18+!!

Pairing: David Loki x f/reader

——————————— ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹🍒——————————

The light in your bathroom flickered as you stood in front of the mirror, mascara running down your face as your red eyes focused on yourself. Starring, hoping to find something in the piercing reflection. Snapping out of it, you sniffed and ran your fingers through your hair, maybe trying to make yourself look better as a way to feel better. The overwhelming feeling of anger and fragility pulsing through your chest.

Loki had gotten home in a foul mood today, work had clearly taken it’s toll on him. So when you met him at the door dressed up nicely with your hair and makeup done, clutch in hand, his brows immediately furrowed whilst displaying a face of irritation and distaste. After the day he has he just wanted you to himself. He wanted you to sit against his chest whilst he let out his frustration, but here you were clearly ready for a night of mayhem, without him. At some dinner where he wouldn’t be present as other guys eyes stuck to you like glue. God why were other people taking up your time in this moment and not him?

You greeted him sweetly at the door, looking like a star. “Hey baby! How was work?”

With a face full of confusion and his thick brows knitted, he ignored you and immediately started to scan his eyes up and down you.

“What’s with, this?” he asked, his voice monotone as he motioned his hands up and down your body.

When you explained you were off to grab a drink with a colleague he practically exploded.

He started berating you about how you could have asked him if you could go, which filled you with an unexpected rage. If you were completely honest, you didn’t really want to go anyway. It was your friend who had begged you to come along. However, now that Loki had started to demand you ask for permission and had raised his voice with possession possessing him, the sheer audacity of him made you wanted to jump out of the window and be there as quickly as you could. You argued that you were a grown fucking woman and no one, not even him, was gonna dictate your life. Inevitability this led to huge row from your defensive outraged state and his tired possessive character.

And that’s how you ended up locked in the dim bathroom with just the sound of your sniffles and the taste of your salty tears grazing your plump pink lip. Now, you actually really didn’t want to go out. Your makeup was now smudged and you would have just been a buzz kill. As you sat and the toilet and texted your colleagues that you couldn’t make it, with some bullshit excuse of getting your period and wanted to stay in bed, you heard two light taps on the bathroom door.

A drained but soft and guilty voice followed.

“(Y,n) Baby I-. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being such a jackass, of course you can go out whenever you want. I don’t know I-.” He took a big defeated sigh before he continued.

“I just had a really shitty day and I wanted to be with you, I guess. Not that that excuses raising my voice at you. Fuck, baby I’m so sorry.” His voice shifts into a softer more genuine tone as he continues, almost like he’s on the verge of tears himself “please. open the door, yeah?”

You sit up from the toilet lid and gently walk over to the door, placing your hands on the knob, debating whether you should unlock it. Tired of fighting and crying you just wanted it to be over.

A streak of rage still flowed through you though, but the overwhelming sadness and need for comfort took over you. As the sounds of the lock and knob being moved filled the silence of your response, Loki immediately stood up from his crouched position.

As the door swung open, you stood peering down at you feet, whilst his larger frame stood before you, almost instantly his eyes checked yours. Seeing the smudged makeup and the obvious signs that you had been crying made his stomach ache with guilty. Like he was looking at a lost puppy he had just chucked on the side of the road in a cardboard box as the rain melted it away.

The warm feeling of two big palms clutching your face, which was also red and warm from the previous passionate tears, could be felt immediately as the door opened.

“Fuck. Baby, I’m so so fucking sorry. (Y,n) can you look at me, please?” His face was so fixated on yours, desperately searching for an ounce of forgiveness on your face.

The red puffy eyes smudged with makeup finally made the way to his sympathetic guilty eyes. “Look, it’s fine David. I should have at least told you before you got home, and I kinda didn’t really want to go anyway.”

Those words that fell from your sullen tired voice, both stung and gave Loki a sense of relief. The dreaded fear of being responsible for ruining your night was present, yet also now he could have you all to himself.

“Are you sure baby? You look so pretty, and I was just being an ass.” His eyes desperately scanned yours, yearning for forgiveness.

You touched your forehead to his whilst simultaneously nodding your head. The closest became amplified when Loki’s lips slowly moved down to yours, which reciprocated his kiss.

The pair of your intertwined lips grew stronger, passion taking over as you got a small head rush. Loki hands supported you as he lifted you onto his waist, carrying you down to the bedroom.

As soon as your head hit the pillow, Loki was on top of you. The secure feeling of his lips gracing yours came first and the soft cussioned kisses along your collar bone and chest shortly followed. The only sound in the room was your heavy breathing and the sound of Lokis lips meeting your soft skin. There was a comfortable silent. A silence that spoke so loud, it amplified the comfort and forgiveness that hung around as your two bodies collided.

Loki slowly took off your heals, letting them drop off the end of the bed and pulled down your pretty dress as his eyes failed to leave yours. His eyes searched yours for permission, which they quickly found as you pierced your plump lip and nodded your head lightly.

Once all of your clothes had been discarded, Loki continued to pepper sorry kisses along your stomach and the top of yours thighs, occasionally lightly groaning to highlight his admiration for you.

Through a quiet whimper you practically begged Loki to get on with it, the small touches becoming torturous “David, please.”

That was all you had to say to have him inbetween your thighs. Loki pressed a kiss to your clit before his tongue made its way through your folds. He made sure to take his time and to make sure there wasn’t an ounce of pleasure you hadn’t received. As his touched swirled around your clit your hole pulsated. You whined out, desperate to feel him inside of you.

Loki could feel the tightness of his roots being pulled stronger as you moaned lightly above him. The urge to just be inside you grew stronger, he yearned to be so close to you.

“You want me inside you baby?” His tongue was back on your clit before you could even answer.

Through a desperate whine you complied with his request. “Yes. Please David, need to feel you.”

As soon as he heard your answer he collected your wetness along his raging hard on before resting in front of your entrance.

Taking your hand in his big palm and kissing your neck passionately, he slowly entered you. The stretch of him was so delicious, the fullness he made you feel made your heart pound. Just as his lips made their way to the spot on your neck just below your ear, he started to thrust into you so the intensity of your pleasure was easily accessible to his ears.

His thrust became harder and deeper, the extent of your close proximity only created more passion. He took the time to worship your chest, licking and sucking on your nipples as his thrust continued, until you beckoned him up to your own lips. This intimacy he so desperately craved was what led to your fight, so he was going to the fullest extent to maximise your mural pleasure. As euphoric moans slipping into his mouth from yours he could tell you were close.

The sensation of two large fingers circulating your clit nearly sent you to heaven. Your chest heaved as he continued his deep thrusts and put pressure on your clit, which eventually ended with your head thrown back, chants of his name, and the feeling of your pussy gushing around him. There were tears in your eyes as you came, quickly followed by groans from David as he also came hard. His hot cum rested inside of you as he panted in front of your face.

The dark room now filled with the sounds of shallow breathing as you both came down from your orgasms. Grabbing his jaw, you brought your lips together again until he gently pulled out from you as you let out a small hiss from the loss of contact.

Rolling over to the space on the bed next you, he pulled you into his arms tightly. Skin to skin.

He kissed your head and muttered “I love you. I’m sorry.”

You whispered into his ear “I love you too. I’m also sorry.”

A moment of comfortable silence passed until you spoke once again.

“So, your day. You want to talk about it?”

Loki had never been much of a talker. He’s more of a guy who bottles shit up or drinks some strong whiskey as a cure for the awful day. Until he met you. You emphasised the importance of talking stuff out, and he knew how much it went to you when he let you in.

Letting a small sigh he gently stroked your head. “Yeah. Okay.”

——————————————————————————-

Ahhh hope you enjoy!! This was kinda rushed and not proof read but very fun to write 💘🙈

[stardustbuck]

im a multishipper. i ship buddie and bucktommy. but if im being honest one side is being incredibly more hateful and toxic than the other side. (aka the one thats been around longer) maybe i’ve taken off my rose-colored shipping glasses, but seeing ppl make hate posts abt tommy/lou gives me the ick. it makes me actually realize why oliver left twt. bitterness will get you nowhere. if buddie is meant to happen then it’ll happen. you cannot force it to happen. everything i’ve seen and read tells me buddie was more of a consideration pre-s5 than it is currently. and that fucking sucks but just because things aren’t going your way doesn’t mean you need to get on the internet and be a bully. it’s truly mind-boggling to see people so intense in their hate for a character that has righted his wrongs, who is now friends with the people he wronged, is well-liked among said characters and is now being a positive influence on buck’s newfound sexuality. their dynamic is also nothing new, pessimist/optimist ship dynamics have been around forever and it’s only a problem because it’s not eddie.

i would be happy for buddie to go canon as much as the next guy. getting buck canonically bisexual is mind-blowing enough in itself, i’m glad we’re witnessing it at all. if ryan doesn’t want to do buddie because he feels its important they stay friends then so be it. platonic friendships between a queer man and straight man are important, especially one that runs so deep like buck and eddie’s. sure, their friendship could be read as romantic throughout the show, but partly because oliver and ryan truly share a great chemistry on screen which helps lean into it but also because these shows are not written with an endgame in mind. 9-1-1 is very much a go with the flow show, and if bucktommy is where the show is flowing then that’s what is meant to be. invisible string theory isn’t because ppl think it was always planned from the beginning, it’s because it��s amazing how well buck and tommy becoming a couple comes together so perfectly out of pure coincidence.

we know buck was supposed to be made queer long ago. we also know maddie originally was brought in for eddie but was put with chimney instead. if tim minear hadn’t left after s4 i truly think buddie could have been already established by now, but unfortunately that isn’t how things work. perhaps the idea of tommy and eddie was pitched but ultimately ryan didn’t agree it would work for these character nor the story being told at the time. buck was already supposed to be queer, so turning it to tommy and buck instead makes total sense.

no one is saying you aren’t allowed to continue to ship buddie. most ships in the world are ships that have never gone canon. buddie is valid even if it’s non-canon. god knows i will continue to read and write for them and enjoy them whilst also enjoying buck and tommy together. the behavior i’ve been seeing though is just weird, especially from larger creators who i understand are very passionate for buddie, but it’s weird when you flip it into tommy/lou hate instead of just talking about buddie itself.

perhaps the theories will be true. we don’t know! maybe buck and tommy won’t last and buddie will be endgame. i’m happy either way because buck’s sexuality is so important for him and at the current state of the show eddie is absolutely not ready for anything romantic because he’s still grieving shannon to a point where he is not ready to move on romantically just yet and we’re literally shown this. even if buddie is happening, it is not happening by the season finale nor is it probably happening by the beginning of s8 considering the current storylines and where they’ll be at by the end of this season. lou probably isn’t going anywhere and from the looks of it, we’ll probably be bumped up into a semi-regular character in s8 like karen. he’s easy to write into the plot, he’s got connections to people and emergencies outside of buck that would integrate him well into the plot. their romance is supposed to be “romcom” esque, they’re taking things slow but they’re obviously happy together at the moment.

im just really tired of the nasty attitudes ive been seeing. sure theres are som toxic people on both sides, but to me its obvious which side is being the bigger bully. reality checks needs to be put in place for some people, go outside and realize you are getting way too worked up over a tv show where plotlines are out of your control. if the show is ruined for you over one relationship then stop watching it.

[eddies-whoreee]

Brat Taming

Summary: You’re a brat with Steve so he brings in reinforcements.

CW: daddy kink, daddy!steve, threesome, sir kink, sir!eddie, spanking, pet play, impact play, mean!steve, mean!eddie, shock collar, slight blood kink, degradation. I think that’s all?

Steve is so open about you and his sex life. Maybe a little too open. You guys play very rough, your on the receiving end. That being said you almost always have bruises or cuts where either his belt or what ever he was using to spank you with broke the skin. He loved watching you bleed especially when you’ve been a menace all day. You loved him making you bleed although in the moment you’re crying and begging him for mercy.

He loves showing your marks off making you wear a short flowing dress that you can easily see the healing wounds. He like to gang up on you with Eddie. Loves to tease you, degrade you. But the best is fresh from a spanking going to Eddie’s and punishing you with degrading treatment while Eddie joins in and laughs at you.

-

You had been on your worse behavior, all because you wanted some attention. Well you definitely got it when, you stayed at family video Steve’s whole shift, bothering him. Complaining about how you were needy. Begging him to fuck you in the back when it was least busy. He kept his cool not showing you how angry he was actually getting. The last straw was you threatening to touch yourself without permission. “Baby, please don’t act like this I’ll give you what you want I only have 10 minutes left of my shift.” He coos softly. You nod with a huff. “Can you please wait in the car these last couple of minutes” he asks. “Sure” you reply walking out. You thought you were off the hook. That you had got one over on him. But you were dead wrong.

He tricked you by fingering you in the car on the way home, since it was a small ride it didn’t actually do much but you thought he wasn’t mad that he was going to fuck you when you got home. Instead when you got home you were bent over his lap as he spanked you with your least favorite paddle the one with holes in it. Then he moved onto his belt, which broke the skin. “Fuck! Daddy I’m sorry, please stop. S-Stop I’m sorry” you beg with tears flooding your eyes and running down your face. “A couple more” he states before cracking the belt back down on your sore redden ass.

After he was satisfied with the spankings, he pushes you up so you stumble on the couch whining at the feeling of the fabric on your wounds. “Go get cleaned and ready I’m going to Eddie’s for a couple beers.” He tells you before getting up and walking off. You knew it wasn’t over, if it was he would comfort you and clean you up himself. You had made his day a fucking nightmare all day at work as if having to work at a shitty ass video store wasn’t enough.

After you got cleaned up, you went to pick out something to wear. Steve walks in and rummages through your side of the closet before throwing a short flowing dress at you. “No panties, no bra” he states. Before walking out.

Once you got there, your nerves were racing you knew this wasn’t going to end well. The whole car ride was silent. “Daddy I really am sorry, I’ll be good I-” he cuts you off with a chuckle. As you pulled up to Eddie’s trailer the tears just started pouring. “Get out and go” Steve says. You shake your head ‘no’ fearfully. “What the fuck do you mean no? Get out” he states more agitated. “I’m scared” you peep still not moving.

Steve sighs and gets out the car and walks over to your side harshly pulling the door open. “No daddy. Please, please, I can’t, I don’t want to. I’m scared pleasepleaseplease” you plead fearfully. “You just made it 10 times worse for yourself” he says yanking you out the car before throwing you over his shoulder. By the time he got to the front door. You were sobbing uncontrollably. Eddie opened up the door with a smug smirk on his face. “Aww what’s wrong with her?” He asks with faux concern. Letting Steve walk through his door. Eddie follows behind him as Steve makes his way to Eddie’s room.

He tosses you on the bed causing you to yelp. “So I was thinking we fuck her full of our cum. Then make her crawl and sit next to our feet like the worthless pet she is. If she wastes a drop we tie her up and fuck her til she can’t take it anymore.” Steve tells him. “Perfect idea Stevie!” Eddie exclaims. “She’s your girl, you go first” he tells Steve. Steve grabs you by your legs pulling you closer to the foot of the bed. Letting your dress ride up.

After being fucked through 3 orgasms you were stuffed full of their cum. Then with no time for recovering. Eddie pulls you by your hair to the floor. Making you cry out, “I know you’ve been a dumb bunny all day but I did get you something and think this is the perfect time for it” Eddie says petting your head. You sit on your knees hands on you thighs waiting patiently. Steve stands next you, re doing his belt. Eddie comes back out of his dresser. “Hands out, eyes closed” he tells you. You obey, then once he places the item in your hand. He tells you to open. It was a collar, with a little pink heart in the middle. “Thank you sir” you smile gratefully. “Go ahead put it on” he insist so you do. Then he takes out the remote, pushing a button making you gasp as a shock rings through your body. “A shock collar?” Steve chuckles. “I mean isn’t that what people use to put pets in their place” he asks Steve. “They sure do, perfect for our bunny” Steve replies tapping your head. “C’mon bunny we’re going in the living room.” Steve says snapping.

They way they treated you made you feel so stupid, so dumb. But fuck, it made you so horny. You crawled after them head hung low with embarrassment. Eddie shocked you again making you squeal. “Hurry up, double time” he says clapping. You whine causing you to get shocked again. “Hey! Be grateful we are spending our time on you. We should tie you up in the room and leave you there so your not being a fucking bother” Eddie states. “Here Steve she’s the one who’s been wreaking havoc on you” he hands over the remote to Steve who gladly takes it.

As the night went on, Steve and Eddie drank a couple beers just enough for a light buzz. They have been talking about various topics that you lost track of what they were talking about, Steve would randomly shock you, changing up the the voltage every now and then. It’s been about 7 minutes since the last shock. You start to relax laying your head on Steve’s thigh. He looks down briefly before running his hand through your hair and rubbing your shoulder soothingly.

“So she came to your job? And stayed there all day?” Eddie asked. Steve nods taking a sip of his beer. “I’m telling you she just doesn’t fucking listen but when she gets over my lap shes fucking begging. Whining like a bitch.” Steve sighs. “Dude if I were you I’d buy a cage and put her in it, and leave the room.” He tells Steve. “But what if she safes out and I don’t hear her” Steve asks. “Baby monitor” Eddie shrugs. “That’s actually a really good idea. I’m gonna do that.” Steve states. “You want a cage baby?” He asks. You absent-mindedly nod. Steve shocks you making you jump slightly. “ I said do you want a cage” he state more aggressively. “Yes daddy” you speak softly.

“Move back” Eddie states. Your eyes widen you’d forgotten to keep the cum in. Then as you remembered you could feel the cum dripping out of you. You move back hesitantly, revealing a large wet spot. Eddie tuts at you, “Stevie, what will we every do with her? Can’t even listen to basic instructions”. Eddie looks at Steve. “Baby, we want to give you a break we really do.” Steve coos at you. You look down, tears forming back in your eyes. “I’m sorry I forgot” you peep. Steve eyes soften as he started to take pity on you. “How about we just eat her out and call it a day” he tells Eddie. Eddie scoffs, “your taking it easy on her?” He asks in disbelief. “I think she learned her lesson” Steve replies. “How about, we eat her out like you said until she cums 2 times for each of us. M’kay?” Eddie proposes. “Sounds amazing” Steve says. And with that a compromise was made. And a lesson definitely learned.

[melliae]

The Last Boss in Persona 3

This is more of a continuation to my previous post (in Tumblr, here) about the meaning behind the Universe arcana. This post will follow the same main idea of my previous one: to analyze the meaning of final boss within the series through using esoteric and psychoanalitical concepts.

Now, before analyzing everything, it'll be better to first summarize the final boss' lore:

“The mother of all Shadows and bringer of death since ancient times. If she awakens, ‘the Fall’ will occur.” - Persona 3 Portable (I wanted to use the japanese version, but I haven’t found any perfect save for P3P/FES in japanese, or a ISO for Vanilla)

That’s almost everything that the game says in relation to what Nyx is, and it’s just a repetition of what Ryoji explained in December. There’s some interesting comments the cultists give during January, like how it “will change the flow of causality” or is an “Absolute Will” (“普遍の意志”, or “Universal/Omnipresent Will”), but their nature is obviously biased. It’s not until the release of the P3 Club Book that its lore becomes clearer, and which I’m going to summarize as it follows:

Nyx” is not actually called “Nyx”, but it’s a nameless entity classified as some sort of “Star Eater” that, eons ago and in a dormant state, crashed against the hadean earth (4.5 billions of years ago).

Due to both its dormant state and it’s strange material composition, existing between “mass and information” (similar to the Velvet Room), both the earth and the Star Eater survived the impact, but not without consequences: a lot of the earth’s matter came off and covered the Eater’s body, creating the moon – the Persona version of the “giant impact theory”.

However, that’s only in regards to the body, because its psyche got separated from the body and “flooded” earth’s surface, putting at risk the existing, but primitive life (ie. amoebas) on it due to its anathemic nature.

Life, driven completely by its instinct to survive, sealed the psyche within themselves, limiting their lifespan (ie. creating death) as well as allowing their psychological development, ending in both the creation of consciousness and the collective unconscious.

As you can see, there’s a good reason Nyx is called the “maternal entity”: its very own soul is what allowed the birth of humanity and all forms of complex life, explaining why it was named “Nyx” by the Kirijos – just as the greek deity give birth to all sort of deities that shape the human experience, the Star Eater made possible its existence. The same applies to its title as “mother of Shadows”, because its psyche wasn’t only sealed within the depths of the collective unconscious by life’s drive to live, but also became an essential part of the human soul as well: their Shadow. So it’s not that “she” is the mother of Shadows, but that Shadows are Nyx, and we all know how important they are.

“The Shadows we hold in our psyches themselves are not just mere prisoners, but have become an essential part of the inner structure of our minds. Without a Shadow, a mind - especially one as highly complex as that of a human being - cannot function properly and ceases to work, as if it had been lost entirely.” – Ikutsuki, P3 Club Book

“What I released from the Trapezohedron just now was the half of that woman that could not come to life until now: her complexes, her emotional trauma–her suppressed Shadow, if you will. And you learned on the other side what happens should you kill the mind’s Shadow, didn’t you? How ironic that it was all of you who made her this way.” - The Faceless God (Nyarlathotep’s Avatar), Tatsuya’s Scenario (referencing Yukino’s end if her Shadow jumps into the abyss).

“If we erase a Palace, there is no doubt that the person’s distorted desires will be erased as well. But desires are what we all need in order to survive. The will to sleep, eat, fall in love–those sort of things. [...] If all those yearnings were to vanish, they’d be no different than someone who was shut entirely. They may even die if they’re not given care.” - Morgana, Persona 5

The shadow men, apathy syndrome, mental shutdowns, and psychotic breakdowns… All of them are manifestations of what happens when the Shadow of an individual is disturbed or destroyed: the collapse of the individual psyche or soul. That means it’s equally valid to affirm Nyx is the origin of both all Shadows and souls in the series, becoming even clearer when see how the personality module of the anti-shadow weapons, their “papillion heart”, is made out of plumes of dusk, crystalline fragments of Nyx’s body. This is further strengthened by Sho Minzauki’s second personality, born out of the plume implanted on his brain, and Metis as the Shadow of Aigis, bearing the name of Athena’s mother and her Persona being the embodiment of the soul in greek mythos.

It’s easy to see, then, that Nyx is not just ���another god” (without the intention to diss Izanami, Yaldabaoth and the rest), but a primordial aspect of the life’s collective psyche (ie. the unconscious). That’s why it’s called the “Universal/Absolute Will”, for “she” is all around life and humanity, being the “ground of being” from which all their potentials come from, for even the very own power of Persona is nothing but something derived from the “small Nyx” acting as the foundation of one’s psyche. Even the capability to alter space-time and reality inherent to life is derived from it, even in Tadashi’s trilogy.

“Mitsuru: These people are Persona Users who appeared in “Megami Ibunroku Persona”, “Persona 2: Innocent Sin” and “Persona 2: Eternal Punishment”. As far as we can see from what’s been shown on television, they seem to be living peaceful lives right now. [...] Akihiko: Still, those guys are Persona Users, right? They have the potential, yet I haven’t heard anything about people like that trying to help out with the things that have been happening here in the Minato Ward… Mitsuru: Well, you have to consider that not all of them might be Persona Users any longer. [...] According to the staff, in our game, the “Value of Life” is defined by the sudden changes in time and space that our wills can bring about. We’ve already explained that Shadows have the ability to manipulate space-time, so the same might be true for those they dwell in, us living beings.” - P3 Club Book

“From the first, people have had a tremendous power in their souls over the flow of reality. [...] Yes… The power that created your world is the same as your inner strength… In this collective unconsciousness, it’s possible.” - Philemon, Innocent Sin.

Even the plumes of dusk, and thus the body of Nyx, have the same properties to alter reality, and emit readings similar to “living beings” despite being deadly to life on earth.

While it’s pretty clear how encompassing Nyx's lore and nature is, it’s important to keep in mind that most of this, at some level, was implied or said by the games. Side material like the Club Book just clarifies what was shown in the Journey, the Answer and even Arena. So now, it’s time to really analyze the beast this eldritch abomination is.

The Golden Egg

Now, it’s just common sense to begin with the mythological foundation of the games: greek mythology, and in particular Orphism, a branch which acted as a mystery (ie.secret) cult mythological founded by Orpheus. It preached, in basic terms, about the findings of the poet after he returned to the land of the living with wisdom about the nature of the world, its cycle of death and rebirth, and how to break from it.

It’s unknown if there’s a cycle of reincarnation in Persona, but we know there may be a similar thing based on Enlil’s quote of how “humans have learned nothing from the cycle of destruction and rebirth” during her second phase. There’s something similar in PQ, where Zen described the “providence of the world” (ie. the collective unconscious), and in the Club Book, about how the unconscious created an archetypal tale between demons and gods to protect the human soul from Nyx’s influence. However, that’s not that relevant, with our focus being more on the creation myth of the cult:

“Similarly, in connection with the raven as the name for this situation, we must consider the creative night mentioned in an Orphic hymn, which calls it a bird with black wings that was fertilized by the wind (pneuma). The product of this union was the silver egg, which in the Orphic view contained heaven above and earth below, and was therefore a cosmos in itself, i.e., the Microcosm.” - Mysterium Coniunctionis.

Within the context of cosmogonical eggs, the hindu hiranyagarbha can also be rescued, described by Jung as “the collective aggregate of all souls”. The relation between these two eggs and Nyx as the “mother of all” is quite obvious, but more important is the fact that its core is a giant, golden egg… cracked – the universe has already been born. But as I wrote in my previous post and as implied by the hiranyagarbha, the universe born out of Nyx is equal to the collective unconscious and thus humanity, harking back to other traditions in which the archetypal man is born out of an egg.

Since we now know what Nyx gave birth to the collective soul of life after “she cracked” or crashed against earth, we must ask what was it like before it crashed:

“The phenomenology of the "child's" birth always points back to an original psychological state of non-recognition, i.e., of darkness or twilight, of non-differentiation between subject and object, of unconscious identity of man and the universe. This phase of non-differentiation produces the golden egg, which is both man and universe and yet neither, but an irrational third.” - Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious

Quite self-explanatory, don’t you think so? It even explains why Nyx is an “alien Star Eater”, for its true nature is what lies in the state before the separation of “heaven and earth”, before the divide between unconsciousness and consciousness. This liminal state is even reflected in its body which exists as both information/thought and matter at the same time, in-between the physical moon and the deepest abyss of the Sea of Souls as per Elizabeth’s route in Arena (“最も深淵なる場所だ”), or how even the Club Book describes its main body as “neither organic nor inorganic” ("有機物とも無機物とも判断���かねる外見である") – completely undifferentiated.

Naturally, this brings out to the mind the jewish associations established by the Club Book and the P3xP4 Analyze, about how Tartarus represents both the seven earths Adam wandered after being expelled out of Eden and the Sephirot that comprise the kabbalistic tree of life respectively, the two symbols for the development of consciousness out of the primitive, undifferentiated unconsciousness, which even Soejima noted. The Star Eater, as the one above Tartarus, becomes equal to Paradise and the unconscious godhead, the Ein Sof, from which the tree, synonymous with the archetypal man and universe, grows out, thus being one with the deepest layer of the Sea, as previously commented.

If you remember the confrontation with its Avatar, how “he” uses the narrative of the tree of knowledge to explain the arcanas, it adds another layer to its meaning: the fruit of knowledge is a very obvious metaphor for the birth of consciousness, but also one for the Shadows as well, with both ultimately causing the birth of death (or the awareness about it). This means Nyx, as the sum of all Shadows, is the tree of knowledge and death, which makes it equal to the tree of life and archetypal man, with even Tartarus being compared to the “corpse of god being (hanged) upside-down” in the Analyze book.

“七つの地” は神をシンボライズした “セフィロトの樹” と上下逆向きで対応しており、テベルは根本の基礎部分にあたる “イェンド” に相当する。” “The “seven earths” correspond to the Tree of the Sefirot, which symbolized God upside-down, with Thebel corresponding to “Yesod”, being the root of the foundations.”

And according to the same source, Tartarus is made out of Shadows and the psychic stratum of humanity:

“これは、タルタロスが基本的にはシャドウと同じ精神体によって構成されているからで、言ってみればその場所の記憶のようなものが構造に反映された結果そうなったもの。同様にタルタロス自体の内部構造も精神体からできたもので、タルタロス構造に取り込まれた精神体の記憶のようなものが反映されている” “This is thanks to Tartarus being fundamentally composed by the same psychic nature of Shadows, as if the memories of the research facility were reflected into the structure so to speak. Similarly, the internal structure of Tartarus itself is made up of such psychic substance, and as such it’s as if the memories of that substance were reflected and taken in by Tartarus’ architecture.”

So more reason to think Nyx, in essence, was the preconscious state of humanity and life before it crashed. It’s the unknown, unconscious godhead in which there is no difference between object and subject, acting as its own “universal individual” in a dormant, sleeping state. It’s pure coincidentia oppositorum.

Joining Opposites

“Nyx” means “night, and the night (along with darkness, dusk and many others) is one of the de facto symbols of the unconscious, along with the underworld (Tartarus). The moon being another symbol of the same thing just further confirms the Star Eater is the unconscious or it’s in an unconscious state. However, pure unconsciousness it’s not what only Nyx has to offer, for someone deeply related to it also exists: its avatar, Death, also known as Pharos.

Pharos’ name is a quite interesting, because in japanese is written as “ファルロス”, mixing both the katakana for “ファルス”, or “phallus”, and “ファロス”, or “pharos (of Alexandria)”. There’s no need to comment the masculine nature of the first word, but it has to be done in regards to the second one and its double nature, since the pharos of Alexandria acts as an obvious masculine symbol thanks to its phallic form, and as a symbol of consciousness due to the light it emits. That’s to say, Pharos is the conscious and masculine counterpart to Nyx’s actual state; Ryoji, with his casanova attitude and yellow scarf, reinforces the concept.

Now, all of that means that, just as expected, the original state of Nyx was androgynus in nature – both female and male at the same time. Some remains of this can also be seen in its core, golden and solar in nature despite being within the moon, and obviously harks back to another quote of Jung:

“The moon with her antithetical nature is, in a sense, a prototype of individuation, a prefiguration of the self: she is the “mother and spouse of the sun, who carries in the wind and the air the spagyric embryo conceived by the sun in her womb and belly.” This image corresponds to the psychologem of the pregnant anima, whose child is the self, or is marked by the attributes of the hero.” - Mysterium Coniunctionis.

Such an image is alchemical in nature, describing the nature of “Queen Luna” (a symbol for both the feminine essence of nature and Nyx) as the mother and partner of “King Sol” (the masculine essence, and in this case Death), who ultimately join in matrimony to achieve the “philosophical stone” – oneness with the world. I doubt I have to explain how the Fall acts as the “shadow” of such a process, ending with the death of all living beings. Though it’s also interesting how is related to the Avatar as such, whom only isn’t only found at the top of Tartarus or “tree of death”, meaning it acquired the same dignity as all other mythological primal humans, but it’s also androgynous in appearance – both feminine and masculine natures are necessary for wholeness, be it conscious or unconscious.

By that matter, the protagonist acts as both “Queen Luna” (gray eyes, pretty boy, “death was inside him”, and Messiah being completely white) and “King Sol”, for he, as “Orpheus”, enters into Nyx’s “eye” in an scene eerily reminiscent of what Jung wrote:

“The “eye” evidently stands for the female genitals, as is clear from the myth of Indra, who, as a punishment for his wantonness, was smitten with yonis all over his body, but was so far pardoned by the gods that the shameful yonis were changed into eyes. The little image reflected in the eye, the “pupilla,” is a “child.” The great god becomes a child again: he enters into the mother’s womb for self-renewal.” - Symbols of Transformation.

Yep… But at any rate, returning to the Avatar, his speech about the arcanas returns once again, since it includes all the arcanas from the Fool to Death, passing through the twelve intermediary ones, with each one representing one of the “hours” within a clock. This implies the Fool and Death stand outside of the cycle of time somehow, and since the Fool it’s the “beginning of life” as per Edogawa’s lecture on japanese, it’s not surprising to connect the card with an infant… like Pharos – Death itself.

Within the Avatar and Nyx the entire cycle of life is described, where both the beginning and end life become one to form a ring, a circle that can be described better as the Universe or World itself, as the Analyze book says:

“最後に発現する “世界” あるいは “宇宙” のタロットには、卵のような形のウロボロスの輪に囲まれた女性の姿が描かれている [...] 二ュクスの中心核は、そのウロボロスの形にも似ている透明な輝く卵の姿をしていた” “In regards to the final manifestation of the “World” or “Universe” tarot card, a feminine figure encircled in an egg-shaped ouroboros ring is depicted. [...] The shining, translucent egg acting as Nyx’s core resembles the shape of the ouroboros as well.”

More telling, the core, despite being the cosmic egg and having the light of creation (or “libido”, the name put by Jung to describe “psychic energy”), only uses “Death” to attack.

The Forgotten Godhead

What you are seeing is one of the first mandalas Jung created during his schizophrenia visions in 1916 or so. It’s called “systema munditotius” or “system of all worlds”, for it represents the psychic activity of all human beings at some level. It’s full of details and the like, but the more important things for now is the vertical axis, beginning with the golden egg with a human at the top, and ending with the lion-headed serpent at the bottom.

The first figure, the egg, represent the future, collective “imago dei” of humanity, the next symbol for the Self that has yet to be born and that Jung called “Phanes”, the primordial being born out of the cosmic egg within orphic myths, embodiment of existence itself and husband, father and/or son of Nyx. The second figure, the serpent or “Abraxas”, represents the past and present “imago dei”, a symbol reminiscent of the Demiurge and a bastardization of the christian god, having both a monster and a caterpillar, the promises of death and life, by its sides, and the tree of life rooted on its head (or mind)

If you begin to think, it becomes obvious what’s the relationship between the Star Eater and those two figures: It’s both. Not only the Eater is both death and a “caterpillar”, since it’s the source of all souls which are represented by butterflies in the series (see the Papillion heart and Psyche), but it’s also the cosmic egg and thus Phanes (see Ryoji). It’s the unconscious self of all humanity, forgotten and fragmented, hanged upside-down, and to which everyone has to obey

“What the god-sun speaketh is life. What the devil speaketh is death. But Abraxas speaketh that hallowed and accursed word which is life and death at the same time. Abraxas begetteth truth and lying, good and evil, light and darkness, in the same word and in the same act. Wherefore is Abraxas terrible. [...] To look upon it, is blindness. To know it, is sickness. To worship it, is death. To fear it, is wisdom. To resist it not, is redemption.” - Seven Sermons to the Dead

For Abraxas, in its primitive and unconscious brutality, is life and its origin, the endless cycle of death and rebirth, just as the Star Eater holds the Fool and the Death as one and the same. They are the flow of time, the drive that created everything from the unconscious as the savage demiurge. They are the endless conflict of life.

But in its role as Phanes, as the yet-to-be born Self, the Star Eater is the promise and realization of all beings – their meaning. However, its core, its egg, is cracked, damaged and divided, and therefore the Self of all humanity is unable to be born yet. For that, the egg must be joined once again and understood, just like Philemon said in IS and Tatsuya’s Scenario, for the egg – the Star Eater – is life.

Such transformation, at an individual level, is masterfully shown with Death’s own journey, going from a shadowy, primitive and savage monster to a kid curious about the world, and then to a teenager which loves everything life can offer from the beginning, all thanks to the journey of the protagonist and all the memories he gained. Yet, such search for meaning wasn’t enough to stop the hopelessness and self-destructivity of the collective, of humanity’s and the godhead’s yearn to return to what they were once… but the protagonist didn’t give up on and, against all possibilities, created a miracle: he was able to give meaning to life and thus to death, instauring hope in the furthest depths of everyone’s hearts.

That’s the true meaning of death within the game. It’s not about merely physical death, but also psychological death, transformation and, ultimately, hope. Death and time are the drives for the endless change within the human soul, equally givers and takers of happiness and tragedy. And with life and light, they make up the totality of the universe we know, for they are one and the same, with the rejection of one meaning the rejection of the other.

Death it’s not only a unknown hunter, but also a part of oneself, and that it’s hopefully treated as a friend even in the worst times. After all, accepting death and life as parts of the whole, to accept that everything will come and go, your sadness and happiness, it’s the first step to break off from the endless cycle of suffering and conflict, of “evil demons and benevolent gods” that are naught but a part of the human soul.

Don’t forget life brims with joy, and that you should bring that same joy to death. Live a good death!

[whumpy-wyrms]

The Last Lab Rat CYOA #8

TLLR AU masterlist | TLLR masterlist

content: whumpee pov, lab whump, failed escape attempt, sprained ankle, scientist carewhumper

You chose: Attempt to run past him and out the door when he walks in.

— 

Fuck it. The second he opens the door and walks inside, you take the chance to run out of there while you have the chance.

“Hey!” He exclaims, caught off guard, as he sees you running towards him.

…Only, you don’t get very far.

You cry out in pain as you suddenly fall forward and straight into him. He scrambles to catch you, almost dropping whatever he’s holding in his hands as he wraps his arms around you. Your ankle throbs as a horrible stabbing pain sours through your body. You suck in a breath through clenched teeth and hold on tight to his sweater, desperately trying to hold yourself up and not put any more pressure on your ankle.

“What are you doing?” He hisses, but he sounds more worried than anything. He slowly inches you both deeper inside the room and away from the door.

You don’t know what to say, so you say nothing. He lets you wiggle out of his grip and you stumble backwards, landing roughly on the floor. Another burst of sharp pain flows through you as you quickly scramble away until your back hits the wall. He shuts the door, the sound of the lock clicking echoes through the room, and you slump down in defeat.

“You really shouldn’t do that,” he says darkly, voice suddenly sounding much more serious than before. It sends a violent shiver down your spine and you hug your knees to your chest. “I’m not letting you go.”

“Why?” You whimper, failing to stifle a sob. It hurts.

“I said I’d explain everything soon, didn’t I? Just be patient.” Sensing your terror, he sighs and softens his voice. “Calm down. I’m not going to hurt you.”

You swallow thickly, closing your eyes and attempting to calm your racing heart. That was obviously a horrible idea. You can barely walk, there’s no way you would’ve gotten past him in this state. Besides, you couldn’t run from him back in the streets, how could you do it here? You realize that attempting to escape while he’s near you never seems to end well.

You look up at him and notice he has an ice pack and bandages in hands, as well as… something else. It’s some kind of vial filled with a strange looking liquid. It’s bright green and almost looks like it’s glowing. He sets it to the side for now, but you eye it warily. Your attention is brought back to Anton when he kneels down in front of you.

He stares at you for a moment before turning away, looking for something under the bed. Your eyes go wide as he pulls out a long chain that’s attached to one of the bed legs and he shuffles closer towards you.

“Gimme your leg. This is just for precaution. I don’t want you trying to run away from me here.”

He senses your panic, but before you can say anything, he grabs your leg and clamps the chain around your good ankle, effectively restraining you. Once he lets go, you pull your leg back fearfully and curl up into a ball. You glare at him as he moves closer.

His expression softens and he holds up the ice pack he has in his hands and gestures towards you. “I have ice,” he says, “for your ankle.”

You hesitate before timidly holding your other leg out. You have no other choice at this point, and your ankle hurts. You suck in a shuddering breath as he takes hold of your ankle and begins cooling it with ice. It hurts at first but after a few moments, it starts to feel nice. You start to relax once you realize he’s not actually hurting you.

“Why did you do that?” He asks. “I told you to stay put. And you wouldn’t have gotten very far even if you weren’t hurt.” 

“You kidnapped me.”

He frowns. “…I get you must be scared, but you don’t have to be. I really don’t want to hurt you.”

You say nothing in response and Anton begins wrapping up your ankle in elastic bandages. He works quickly but gently, as if he’s being careful to not hurt you. Once your ankle is wrapped up, he hands you the ice pack and you start pressing it to your ankle again. It still hurts, but at least it’s being taken care of now.

“I wouldn’t walk on it much if I were you. I’m sure you understand why.”

You nod. He smiles, satisfied, and stands up. Grabbing that vial of liquid, he pops off the cork and holds it out to you. “Drink this. It’ll help your ankle heal.”

You scrunch your eyebrows together, confused. “…What is it?” you ask apprehensively.

“It’s… like medicine. It’s safe, I promise. It’ll help with the pain.”

At least it’s not a needle being stabbed into your skin against your will. But still, it makes sense to be wary about this. Drinking something from the guy who’d just drugged, kidnapped and restrained you doesn’t seem like such a good idea. You still don’t know what he wants with you. On the other hand, you’d do anything for the pain to stop at this point. It hurts.

next

— 

this is genuinely so fun guys i love these daily updates i’m having a lot of fun :3 thank u all for reading!!

taglist: @creppersfunpalooza @whumpsday @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @inkwell-and-dagger @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl

@vidawhump @bottlecapreader @whumpinthepot @lumpywhump @paperprinxe

@indigoisaspookyghost2 @lumpofsand @whump-till-ya-jump @inhurtandincomfort @echo-of-umbra

@sariadragon

let me know if you want to be removed or added to the taglist!

[sabbathbloodysabbeth]

I have this image in my head, its making my heart melt and I kind of just really want to try and use my words to paint it out for everyone here (: BUT MORE WAYNE CONTENT

The diner is small, nothing much compared to the numerous ones that kept popping up around Hawkins with fancy tables and new, sparkling everything. Munson’s diner has gone through a lot over the years, everything but bankruptcy. Which had been the shark to every other place in town. How Wayne Munson kept everything a float was a secret amongst the town. Some rumored that he took money out from under the table, which has happened before with a restaurant that used to be on the corner of Main Street and South Ave. When Wayne suddenly started to carry a toddler around on his hip, seemingly appearing out of no where with the hugest brown eyes known to man everyone in the area knew that the clock was starting to tick down to the inevitable. When the closed sign wouldn’t flip to the open side ever again. So, like the crazed people they were they started to show up in crowds. Feeling as if they had limited time to get Wayne Munson’s famous pancakes. What they didn’t expect, was for the place to stay a float for another a decade. Once the realization dawned on them that Wayne Munson wasn’t going to give into anything, everyone relaxed a bit. Though crowds still came in for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Breakfast, on most days it was normally just Wayne and his nephew running the floor. Only for Eddie to leave after eight knowing he couldn’t push being any more late for school away. Thing was, everyone loved the boy. Pretty much watched him grow up in the small beat up place. You didn’t get the true Munson Diner experience without Eddie Munson’s bright beaming smile coming towards your table to drop off a plate full of French fries. Playfully whispering to some of the regulars that he gave them a little extra. Tips had always came in for Wayne, a shy older man who would much rather stay in the grill area. Normally hiring a waitress or waiter to handle the people. But the second Eddie learned how to walk, talk and better yet carry five plates at once the tip jar was normally over flowing by the end of the day. Not counting what some customers snuck into Eddie’s pocket while running around. Wayne spent almost all day at the diner working, but it was something he enjoyed. On his days off he would still make sure to drop in and make sure that his employees didn’t need help.

With all of this knowledge, Wayne Munson is hurt. Devastated even when the whole town turns on his boy. Eggs his diner, destroys his property, and makes everything unrecognizable. His dream job and favorite human in the entire world was crushed all in one night. Later on he would have to sit on the side of a hospital bed, gripping onto Eddie’s hand to make sure that he knew that it wasn’t his fault that his business went under. Accepting that things weren’t going to be the same ever again, wayne starts to pack up the mugs that were on dozens of shelf’s wrapping around the small diner. Firing everyone that worked there, cleaning the tables, mopping, dusting, pretty much anything he could think of to make sure the place was sold. It had only been forty eight hours since Chrissy Cunningham died in his trailer, he had been the one to call the police when he walked in and found the poor girl. He had expected some trouble, what he didn’t expect was for everyone to turn against the Munson name. Thankfully he had enough money saved up to hold him over a bit before he had to get a new job and he took what he considers the most horrible vacation he’s ever had.

When his boy is finally found, barely alive he was almost the first person to see him out from surgery. Possibly a close tenth with the amount of people in the room checking in on him. Some of them weren’t even in the state when everything went down, nor did they ever actually talk to his boy. But Wayne recognized each face behind their orders. Doesn’t know any name, only associates them with their regular dish of food. Eleven was waffles, Robin was strawberries, Dustin was toothless and so on and on. Even though Wayne didn’t have much hope with this town ever accepting them again, shockingly it happens fast. When the whole town started to crave their favorite dishes. The diner hadn’t been sold yet, there were no workers to help out and there was no way Wayne was going to be able to pull this off. What the town was afraid of happening, was currently happening and it was all of their fault. For the numerous time that year he is shocked when Eddies friends start to show up to help.

Argyle, a boy who moved from California to stay with Jonathan and the Byers was one of the easiest hires of his life. He walked in with no resume, just himself. Answered every question easily, explained that he did smoke but that didn’t stop him from being a good worker. If Wayne truly thought he couldn’t do it then he could cut back if needed. Which strangely, isn’t ever needed. The kid was hard working and Wayne quickly makes note to force Eddie to make friends with him. Though the problem was getting everything situated. Which everyone did help do, getting the place looking better then what it had in years. It drained his bank account but it was worth buying more stock and getting the place situated. Then there was Robin Buckley. Who came connected at the hip with Steve Harrington. Both of them wide eyed and willing to do anything. Which meant they ended up not only just as waiters but janitors as well. Neither of them complained all that much and with their past experiences with scoops ahoy they lightened the place up. So far, the Munson diner has added pizza and even more ice cream to the menu which strangely brought more of a following to the place. The next couple of hires didn’t even happen properly, they just started to come in and started to work without even caring about being paid. Just wanting to be with their friends and hanging out with out being nuance’s.

El and her brother Will weren’t necessarily workers there, but they helped decorate the spaces on the walls. Will making a huge painting of the whole group standing in front of the diner together. When closing came around El would clean the whole place with out much thought. Moving the broom around in the back as she helped wiped tables down. It was strange watching things floating around but Wayne didn’t mind. Another easy choice to add to the growing group of employees was Nancy Wheeler. Who helped get the ads into the newspapers and on occasion helped Wayne with finances. She kept doing it for free which bothered the man a bit but she refused to take a dime for it. Lucas and Max were also two that came connected at the hip. When Steve and Robin weren’t working they took their place. Both equally hard workers, with a few health problems from Max. With all of these employees Wayne wasn’t sure if he was able to pay all of them. Which didn’t seem to become a issue with the amount of guilt money coming in from the town, and the way the younger kids were happy with just getting free meals if he couldn’t afford it some weeks.

All of this happened within a span of a month, so when Eddie was finally able to come back he was greeted by a very different diner. He came back a little scared up and very different, a little sassy with some of the customers who had made it their mission to destroy his life. Though if Wayne didn’t see it with his own eyes he would have never believed it. Most shifts were made by everyone together, and without failure Steve was somehow always there on Eddie’s shifts. Smiling and cleaning up a mess a younger kid made, or helping run the floor when to many customers started to come in at once. At first, Wayne noticed how tense Eddie was around Steve. There was some level of trust between the two, that he could see. Though after a late night working, Eddie had slipped up around Wayne and admitted that he sort of shamelessly flirted with the other while on the run because he didn’t think he was going to make it out alive. That information broke Wayne in a way that he can’t even describe. After that he kept a closer eye on Steve, but the kid didn’t even care all that much about who the fuck Eddie dated. Robin Buckley was living proof of that. Though it was hidden very well to anyone who didn’t have a open eye or had no experience with a gay individual, to Wayne there were some signs.

The way Robin would constantly be at Eddie’s hip when he was around. Playing with the pins on her vest as she rambled on about something only his boy could understand. Steve was typically off to the corner washing a table or taking care of a customer. A few of the conversations that he would hear buzzing closer to his ears were the same ones he had with Eddie before he found friends with Robin. The ones talking about current events happening with the community. That and one night, when the two went to take garbage out forgetting all but one bag which Wayne had grabbed to help out he ran into a moment. With Robin freaking out about some girl with her hands flying, freezing mid frame while Eddie doesn’t react to his uncle. Thanking him and tossing it in the bin as Wayne snorts. “Sounds like you might have to woo the girl with one of those milkshakes of yours.” He says calmly as he leans against the door. Wanting to keep a closer eye on the two when they were out in the dark. Not trusting the people of the town.

“See! I told you Wayne would be more helpful then me, or Steve!” Eddie says throwing his hands up in the air. Rings glistening from the lights as he moves to pull out a cigarette. Earning a punch in his shoulder and a grumble of, “just because you want to die from lung cancer doesn’t mean I want to die from second hand smoke, that is a thing you know. My voice is already raspy enough Eddie, see what friend you are.” Earning a cackle from Wayne who shakes his head pulling out a stick of gum as he chews gently, letting the flavor melt into his mouth as he listens to the conversation. Not bothering either of them until Eddie steers the conversation back to Wayne for girl advice. Who only listens to the girls ramblings with a soft smile, watching her wave her hands in a similar way to Eddie’s. Who was currently standing a ridiculously far length from the two of them, so smoke doesn’t get anywhere near poor Robins lungs. Now, Wayne wasn’t much of a love expert but it seemed like his advice was being memorized and written into a book of things to do and not to do. The conversation would have gone on longer, but the alarm on his watch starts to go off and he signals both of them to come in and finish up.

Closing up he prepares to drive Robin and Eddie home but there Steve Harrington sat in his car waiting patiently, windows down and cigarette in is left hand out the window. Watching with amusement, Robins nose scrunches up as she starts to throw another fit. Everything starts to align more after that as Eddie tugs playfully on Wayne’s jacket as he moves walking backwards with a huge grin on his face to Steve’s car. “I’m going to Steve’s tonight, forgot to tell you.” He hums gently as Robin backs away from the car. Waving the smoke away as Steve laughs gently at something she says. Before he’s putting the stick out. Moving and hopping out of the car to give her a hug, in which she refuses because he stinks. Eddies laughing as he moves taking in the moment to steal a hug. Moving and nearly tackling the other from behind with one of his Munson hugs. Steve’s bending forward in response as the others nearly on his back. Whispering something in his ear as Steve grows shy. Wayne shakes his head as he unlocks his truck door, hearing Robin gagging and quickly running towards him for safe haven.

“If you don’t mind, Mr. Munson I would much rather drive with you.” She shudders as she looks at the two with fake disgust. Wayne shakes his head amused letting her in as he waves at his boy. Watching the way he beams from Harrington’s passenger. Catching all of the tell tales of a blooming romance.

“Do you think If I borrow a shot gun from a friend, that would scare the shit out of Steve?” Wayne mumbles over to Robin. Who laughs, throwing her head back a little clapping her hands a bit.

“Can I borrow it after you to scare the shit out of Eddie?” She giggles as Wayne laughs gently turning the engine on. Letting the boys leave first, following shortly after as he leaves the parking space.

“I’ll do you one better, I’ll teach you how to use it.” Wayne jokes playfully as he playfully winks at her, “might impress that gal you’re talking to.” He teases watching the way Robins face grows pink. Eyes flickering from her face to the Munson diner. That once again has gone through everything. And if he had his way, it will be standing there many years after he is gone. With the kids he’s got around, he’s sure it will be there for much longer then what he had hoped for. Now unlike other places, Munson Diner was a home to all.

[captain039]

PART 3 Souls coming together (last part most likely)

Ascended Vampire Duke!Astarion x human!reader

(Intertwined with a mortal continuation read part one here)

Warnings: Olden times, age gap, lots of feels, angst, working through trauma, tension, sexual, oral f-receiving, marriage, Astarions trauma and issues, body shaming, harassment, anxiety’s and depression, lotta issues xD

Previous part <-

You didn’t see the duke for a week and you were going mad. You were thinking the worst happened, either a vampire hunter got him, or he wasn’t drinking again, or he truely gave up this time on you and him. Gods you were a mess, you often writ letters, but never sent them, you tried to avoid public outings because of chatter and whispers. It was becoming a little to stressful on your omega self, it was the eighth night now and you were putting on a hood, some of your oldest gross clothing you could find before you glanced out your window. You hesitated freezing when your door opened.

“Lady Y/n?” Your servant asked and you turned around ushering her in and closing the door as softly as you could before sighing.

“May I ask what’s going on?” She said slightly amused.

“I’m going-“ you stopped feeling your cheeks warm.

“To see Duke Ancunin?” She finished and you groaned quietly.

“It’s been eight days! Eight! He missed the party which was horrible anyway, he hasn’t visited either!” You felt over worried.

“Sneaking out the window is the best idea, come” she smiled and you froze, she was going to help you? She led you out one of the back doors and onto the street without being heard or seen, you were surprised at how sneaky she was as she gave you a grin and ushered you off.

“Is this really wise?” You suddenly asked and she huffed.

“Fine, come on then, I doubt you even know where to go” she rolled her eyes taking your hand and leading you down the streets of Baldurs gate. You ended up at the dukes place with little trouble, a few odd looks by those without homes, but they didn’t comment or trouble you.

“This is highly inappropriate!” You whispered stopping her.

“You wanted to do this” she stated.

“Shhh! I wanted to see him, without actually seeing him!” You groaned quietly making your servant raise her eyebrow.

“That makes total sense, come, I know a man here” she said and by the look on her face she knew him very well. She knocked with a rhythm and an elf opened the door.

“Laria? What on earth are you doing here?” Asked looking to you before his eyes went wide.

“You bought a lady of your house?! Are you mad?!” He snapped as she huffed at the poor beta.

“Let us in” she said and the elf groaned, but let you in.

“The master is not going to be happy” he mumbled.

“Is he alive?” You asked.

“He’s alive” The elf said vaguely and your stomach churned.

“He’s not himself” the elf added making your stomach churn even worse.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into him lately” the elf sighed and your servant smirked.

“I do” she grinned and you glared at her.

“Besides the lady! This should be a blessing finding your mate instead he’s acting like this!” The elf sighed body sagging.

“I try to talk to him and it goes sour really quickly, by either of us, I don’t know what’s going on or how to talk to him” you said sadly.

“Maybe you should go see him” the elf said.

“Come” he added beginning to walk up the stairs. You followed him your servant by your side before he stopped in front of a door. Light shone through the bottom and you gulped slightly. You sensed him in there and you knew he did too by the silence.

“Maybe this was a bad idea” the elf muttered and you huffed hand reaching out to the door with shakiness. You took a breath before opening the door frowning a bit at the utter chaos of the office. Books were everywhere, papers had flow everywhere, things were broken and smashed. You saw him in the corner of the room sitting on the floor his eyes staring at you. You closed the door behind you and shrugged off your cloak and hung it up on the surprisingly standing hanger.

“Why’re you here?” The duke asked.

“How are here?” He added a frown on his face.

“I snuck out” you said gulping as his eyes narrowed. He was suddenly in front of you and you let out a small gasp.

“You shouldn’t walk around at night” he said eyes boring into yours.

“Astar- duke Ancunin, I haven’t seeing you in eight days, you missed the party and I am concerned for your well being” you spoke softly and kept your eyes from his.

“After our last encounter something happened” you said looking to him.

“Nothing happened” he said and you saddened.

“We can’t keep doing this” you muttered.

“Doing what?” He asked and you clenched your jaw briefly.

“Shutting everything out or off, avoiding actual conversation, simply dancing and expecting it to work- I” you took a shaky breath.

“I want to know you” you said looking to him again, his eyes widened as he stared at you.

“Whatever demons or past haunts you, you don’t have to say, I just-“ you sighed again.

“I want to know my mate, be with him, more than dance and fake lives” you whispered looking to the ground again.

“I will marry you, if that’s what it takes” you added searching his eyes only his walls were too high. You sagged again, stomach dropping and the same feeling of rejection settled in again.

“Then we shall marry” he said and you looked up to him in surprise. You couldn’t read his expression though.

“If that’s what you desire” he nodded and you shook your head.

“What do you want?” You almost begged.

“It can’t just be one sided it’s a union of two people! Two souls!” You gestured between the both of you and he frowned.

“Please, what do you want?” You begged finally trying to hold onto a sliver of hope.

“You” he muttered his eyes on you so intently it made you shudder. He hesitated briefly making you frown slightly before lips pressed against yours. You made a surprised noise, but quickly welcomed him your hands cupping his face. His hands grabbed your waist, tugging you closer before backing you up to the wall. You moaned quietly one hand tangling in his hair the other resting on his chest, gripping the white frilled shirt he wore. His hands ran over your sides, squeezing the flesh as he went sending your body alight. You made small noises opening your mouth hoping to get air. He pulled back only to kiss down your jaw and to your neck as he began untying the back of your dress in haste. You tilted your head panting harshly as he managed to slip your dress off, leaving in your undergarments and slip. You felt your cheeks go hot as he moved from your neck back to your lips, tongue prodding against your lips. You parted your lips letting his tongue slide in. He moved you both and you fell on a lounge, him following. You gripped the hem of his shirt and tugged it up, he pulled apart letting you lift it over his head. You threw it on the floor and held his face as you kissed him again, he rested his hips on yours as your hands glided up his arms and into his back. You felt him freeze instantly though as your finger went over raised skin. You looked to him feeling more raised skin in a pattern, what was it? Before you could ask you saw his eyes glaze over like they did when you last met. You panicked a bit cupping his cheeks instead.

“Astarion?” You asked breathlessly and worried, he couldn’t exactly disappear in his own house. You frowned slightly an image flashing in your mind, people locked in in a prison, a man’s face with a sinister grin, the same man bloodied and dead on the floor, you felt power flooding through you, heard screams of many. You opened your eyes with a groan before panting harshly as Astarion shook above you. You focused back on him, who was that man? What had happened there? You tugged him to you gently, forcing him gently to lay on you. You kept your arms around him fingers lightly massaging his scalp. You didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what was happening, but you felt his need to be safe, find somewhere safe, you just hoped you could provide it.

[likeabulldigidigibombombombom]

sorry i think fake dating for felix not arranged marriage

Title: "Boyfriend"

This is a great request TYSM😻😻😻

I’m hoping that you’re a girl because I’m better at writing for fem readers

If you're not I'm so sorry💀

Pairing: Felix x fem!reader 

Trope/Genre: Fake dating, fluff

Warnings: They make fun of each other a lot, Felix is a bit of an ass for shits and giggles, its fine though because he can do no wrong, bad flirting, some suggestive comments at the end so MINORS DNI, Ignore my non-american English (It’s because I’m not from america🙀)

Felix is not an idol in this fic. 

1,634 words 

Summary: Your Mum assumes that you have a boyfriend. Since you are desperate for approval, you invite a friend to the family reunion to pose as your boyfriend. Shit gets wild. Turns out it was for the better.

For years, you’ve never been able to find a relationship anywhere. Guys weren’t interested, girls weren’t interested, absolutely no one has ever been interested in you romantically. Growing up, this wasn’t a problem, since your parents didn’t want their “Sweet little girl” to be dating. But you were getting older, and your house was slowly getting lonelier.

One day, your parents called you to organize a family gathering. “Oh and also!” Your Mum stated. “You can bring a date. I’m sure you’ve found someone by now! Hasn’t your best friend gotten a partner?” You sighed. “Yes Mum, all of my friends are in relationships now.” “So, when are we gonna meet him?” “Meet who?” “Your boyfriend, I’m sure you’re just hiding him from us because you’re scared of our reaction. I’ll assure you, we aren’t judgemental at all!” You rolled your eyes as your Mum kept talking. “Bring him to the family reunion! It’ll be fun!” As you were about to interrupt, your Mum continued. “Oh no! I have to go pick up something from the shops before it gets dark! I love you! Bye!” 

You pressed the hangup button. Your brain started to spiral. ‘How am I gonna do this? There’s no way I’m going to be able to find a boyfriend in time.’ Your eyes lit up. ‘What if I don’t need an actual partner? I just need someone to pretend to be my actual partner!’ You thought about all of your friends, trying to think of one that was single. Your brain instantly went to Felix, a friend who you didn’t know extremely well, but you knew him well enough that you’d be able to ask him for this favour without it being super weird. 

Both of you met at a bus stop. It was raining heavily. Sadly, the stop didn’t have a shelter so you stood there under your little umbrella. Felix was in the same situation as you, except he didn’t have an umbrella. He was getting drenched. When he let out a small “achoo” you decided that you had to work up all of the courage in your body and ask if he wanted to share an umbrella. His eyes lit up and he smiled. You thought it was the brightest smile in the world. His eyes looked like two perfect crescent moons. He stood under your umbrella and you started talking. The bus was 30 minutes away and you were both taking the same bus. Conversations between you two flowed easily. When he got to his stop, you exchanged numbers.

 You’ve hung out alone and in groups a couple of times with him and he at least knows what your family dynamic is like and how expecting your parents are. That is the reason why he wasn’t surprised when he was told to come to your house because of an emergency and he was told that he was now your fake ‘boyfriend’. 

“So when’s the family reunion?” “October 6th” “Oh I can totally come to that! This is gonna be fun.” “Fun? You know that we’re gonna have to make up stories and kiss and cuddle and shit right?” “I’m not totally opposed to that.” “Well that’s because you’re super cuddly, I’m not like that.” “Well, you’re gonna have to pretend now!” “This is annoying, thanks for helping though. You’re like, an insanely good friend.” “I’m not just a friend anymore” He made kissy faces at you and you felt your face heat up. “You suck.”

When you arrived, Felix grabbed your hand. You felt butterflies flutter around your stomach. He rang the doorbell. “You’re blushing.” “What?” “Never mind!” Your Mum swung open the door with a fake smile plastered on her face, her smile quickly became genuine when she saw your hand interlaced with Felix’s. “Oh my gosh! Hello! Come in! What’s your name?” “My name is Felix! Nice to meet you.” He and your Mum hugged as she led you into the kitch(ive😨)en where you and your other family members sat around plates of food.

You and Felix were being bombarded with questions at the speed of light. He was mainly the one answering them, since he was better at making up answers. You just sat there and wondered how this fever dream happened. “Felix?” One of your Aunts spoke up. “Hmm?” “How long have you and Y/N been dating?” He looked at you with a smirk and you realised he was gonna say something that would fuck up the rest of the conversation. 

“A year.” He replied. Gasps could be heard from around the room. “And you aren’t living together yet?!” Your grandma asked with a horrified look on her face. “We’re actually moving in together soon, she’s packing right now.” “Are you moving into her house or is she moving into yours?” “She’s moving into mine since mine is bigger.” “You need to tell us your address once Y/N moves in! We would love to visit. We can also help you pack!” Your Dad said. Felix’s hand was sitting comfortably on your thigh as he looked at you evilly. ‘This is gonna go badly’ You thought.

Once you and Felix got into his car he immediately bursted out laughing. “Oh my god, they actually believed it!” You spoke up. “Why did you say I’m moving into your house?” “For fun.” “You suck. I’m actually gonna have to move in with you now because my parents want to visit.” “I’ve been wanting a roommate.” 

When you got home, he asked if he could stay over and discuss everything further. You hesitated, but you realised that you really needed to set some ground rules, so you let him stay. “You’re so scared of PDA it’s funny, it’s like you think you’re gonna fall in love with me if you hug me.” He said. “I’m not afraid of hugs, you’re just annoying.” “You are so mean.” “Says the guy who purposely screwed me over in front of my family” “Are you actually mad at me? I’m so sorry we can stage a fake break-up if that would make you comfortable! I didn’t mean to annoy you-” “Felix, it’s fine! Chill. I can move in with you and we can stay in separate rooms. Even though it’s a huge fucking process just for my parents to think that I can get bitches.” “There’s one problem with that.” “Oh no, what is it this time?” “There’s only one bedroom.”

4 weeks later

You were sitting in the living room while Felix brought you some hot chocolate. Living with him wasn’t as bad as expected. Some days he slept on the couch and some days you slept on the couch. Felix’s shitty flirting wasn’t ever too much of a problem, because he made up for it with his sweet personality. You had spent one night playing board games with him, and you looked at him and he looked perfect. Like everything you ever wanted, until he made you pick up eight cards in UNO flip. Your parents had come over a couple of times to check on you and spend time with Felix. They liked him more than they liked you honestly. He was kind and charismatic which made his parents fall in love with him. 

“You know what we should do?” Felix said. You put down your phone and took a sip of your hot chocolate. “What? “We should practice kissing.” You choked on your hot chocolate as Felix affectionately rubbed your back. “What?!” You yelled. “You seem too scared to kiss me, and I don’t want to break any boundaries. So I thought we could practice for the first time in the privacy of our own home.” “Oh.” “Are you okay? Do you not like kissing? It’s obviously fine if you don’t, I just think it would be a good way to sell our relationship” As Felix took a sip of his own hot chocolate, you said, “I’ve never kissed anyone before.”

It was his turn to choke. You laughed at him and he looked at you with wide eyes. “You’ve never kissed anyone?!” “What do you mean by that?” “I mean, someone who looks like you has never even kissed someone?! You’ve got to be kidding! I mean you’re super hot, cute, pretty, and stunning. How has no one kissed you?!” You blushed at his words, earning a smile from him. 

“I don’t know, I guess I just haven’t found the right person.” “What if I’m the right person?” He moved closer to you and his pinky interlaced with yours. “Can I kiss you Y/N?” You nodded. 

Your eyes closed as you felt soft lips meet yours. You could feel his heart beating in his chest, which was comforting because you could tell he was as nervous as you. He brought one of his hands up to your head and started to play with your hair. It was so cute. He was so cute. Everything about him was cute. The kiss was gentle and short, but you didn’t want it to end. He pulled away, and his face was flushed. “You’re so fucking cute.” You said. “I was gonna say the same to you.” There was a pause in the conversation until you spoke up. 

“You have really tiny hands.” You held his palm next to yours and laughed at the difference. “That’s true, but that doesn't mean I don't know how to use them.” He smirked at you and the tips of your ears turned red. “Stop flirting with me or I’m gonna start thinking that you actually want to be my real boyfriend.” “Maybe I do.” 

That night, when you complained about how uncomfortable the couch was, Felix offered to let you sleep in his bed with him.

 You took the opportunity immediately.

Author note: Thank you so much for the request! I loved writing this so much! Like always, constructive criticism is wanted! If you liked this, please follow me for more fanfics like this one <3 Thank you!

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