#but the final steps (ie when i should commit to the Thing) is always so . 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[kimmkitsuragi]

microdosing on Responsibility by breaking every task down to very small steps

[ohcorny]

hey corny. so i always see people recommending to outline their story before starting it, but could you talk a little bit more about what that means? what is an outline and how do you structure one? how long are the ones you write, depending on the project? do you focus on plot beats or feelings? how specific do you get? can u recommend any readings for learning more?

up front i don't have any resources for this, only experience. and outlines feel like one of those things where it's like... there are a million ways to do it and the way that works for me might not work for you. i have a friend who writes out all his ideas on index cards and that, for me, is insane. but he's also a better writer than me so who can say what is right or wrong.

anyway an outline is essentially a sketch but for a story. you go through the whole thing, start to finish, and figure out what goes where and what happens when. the idea is that this is the stage where you work out all the big picture stuff and make sure it all fits together, now, and not after you've drawn twenty pages and suddenly go "wait shit that doesn't work" and have to do it over. it is much easier to delete and rewrite a paragraph than to redraw several pages.

doing anything more, ie including dialogue or feelings, depends entirely on how useful that information is to you at that point in the process and whether the purpose of the outline is for your own guidance, or so somebody else can tell what you're trying to achieve.

this got really long with multiple examples

here is an excerpt from the original outline i used to pitch Hunger's Bite to publishers. this one had to be polished to a professional standard, because somebody else was going to read it and decide whether they wanted to give me thousands of dollars to tell this story. (also several of the details are no longer accurate. for instance it now takes place 9 years earlier lmao)

this paragraph represents the first eight pages of the book. the final book is 264 pages long, and the outline was 12 pages of paragraphs as dense as this one.

it establishes where we are, who's there, and what they're doing. i describe their conversation, but i don't commit to the dialogue. i will occasionally include snippets of literal dialogue, but usually only if it's Important Dialogue, or i just don't want to forget a good idea i had while outlining. it's not expected at this step.

an outline written as part of a pitch to a publisher should tell the whole story, with all the important details, and leave nothing ambiguous. they need to know the tone, shape, and the arcs. no secrets! all the spoilers. outlines for yourself should do this too, but outlines for others need to be as clear about your vision as possible. again, an outline like this exists for the purpose of getting you paid thousands of dollars. you should write it like that.

in comparison, here's an excerpt from the outline i wrote for revisions to my WIP prose novel, so i could show it to my agent (who already read the draft) to be like "do these changes sound good?" i'm not selling it to anyone yet, just making a guide so i can have a conversation about it. so it doesn't need to be neat, it just needs to be functional and clear. the first chapter was entirely new stuff. the second bit was just writing down what was already in the chapter that existed.

i have historically been very bad at outlining things when i don't think i "need" to, and only wrote this one after having written like 60k words of the book without any overall plan. i gave what i had to my agent for feedback and then sat down and figured out how i could apply it. it's made the whole revisions process significantly less daunting. now i have a checklist for things i need to do! this one was a paragraph or two for each chapter, with the ones that needed a lot of rewriting given a bit more detail.

lastly, here's a bit of the outline for the first roger crenshaw book. i was the only person who had to see this, and since the story was planned to be very short i didn't have to worry about a whole lot. as long as i knew what was supposed to go where, it would work. honestly it's not a whole lot different from the previous example.

this one was like five paragraphs and it did the job, and this story was like 15k words. you only need as much or as little as will actually help you on the page.

basically if you take nothing else from this, it's that there are multiple ways to write an outline, that it does not need to be perfect if you're doing it for yourself, and that it only needs what you think is important (unless it is for other people. then it should have everything). and also it's a good idea to do it earlier in the project than after you've written 60k words or drawn--jesus christ i got up to 12 chapters in never satisfied? it's amazing i didn't quit sooner

[13uswntimagines]

Loose Lips Sink Ships (Soran X Swift!Reader)

Request: The Next Instalment of the Swift!Reader Universe where everyone finds out that the reader is dating Emily and Lindsey. Basically, 5000 words of the reader getting caught in compromising positions, having deep conversations with her sister and teasing some too invasive fans. 

Other Parts of the Swift!Reader Universe

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Taylor considered herself a very perceptive person, especially when it came to you. From the time you were little, she could read you like a book. She knew to look for the tilt of your head when you were curious, or how you scratched the back of your neck when you were nervous.

But this, she had never seen before. Your thumbs twiddled on your thighs, patting out an erratic pattern that didn’t match any of your favorite songs, and your feet were tapping out a completely different beat. You also kept tucking your chin, completely refusing to make eye contact with her. 

It wasn’t just tonight either. It was for the entire week you had been staying with her in her Manhattan apartment. She didn’t know if she could take another three weeks of you sneaking off to the terrace to make phone calls at midnight. 

She sighed, turning away from the stove to lean over the island, taking a long drag from her wine glass and eyeing you carefully. 

“Alright, what’s going on with you?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at you. You blinked up at her with owlish eyes. 

“You’re acting weird,” she added with a shrug, turning to whatever she was making on the stove. 

You took a large gulp of your drink and swallowed hard. You didn’t think you had been that obvious, but then again Taylor knew you better than anyone (well, there were two people who probably knew you as well as she did). Soon enough they would be just as good at getting information out of you as Taylor was. 

“I’m just tired. Pre-season and national team duty are kinda kicking my ass,” You mumbled, rubbing the back of your neck, praying to god that she would take this excuse. 

She nodded, tapping the spatula on the side of the pot before turning back to you and picking up her glass again. “I’m sure the media pressure isn’t helping that,” 

You shrugged.“Everyone just expects me to be you, and it’s a lot sometimes,” You mumbled, absentmindedly circling your fingers over the rim of your glass. 

Taylor’s eyebrows furrowed. She could tell you weren’t telling her everything, but if this was the route you wanted to take, then she wouldn’t miss a chance to reaffirm you. 

“I know, and I’m sorry for that,” She said softly, reaching across the island to gently grab your hand. 

You finally looked up at your sister, echoing her sad smile, and noting the worried crinkle by her eyes. “It’s not really your fault,” 

She nodded. “I know, but all I can do is tell you how amazing you are as many times as I can,” 

You held her gaze for a few more seconds, her seriousness giving you no reason to doubt her sincerity. 

It didn’t matter what the media, or your family, said about your career. Taylor maintained that you were just as good, simply because you were you. She was your greatest champion and most trusted confidant. 

You nodded, and she squeezed your hand before turning back to the stove. She knew pushing you to talk about what was really bothering you wouldn’t help. You would come to her when you were ready. 

You watched her thoughtfully as she put the final touches on dinner, checking on a tray in the oven and stirring the things on the stove. 

You were comforted by the familiarity of it, but the little voice in the back of your head reminded you that you also enjoyed this position when it was a different blond cooking for you (and the way Lindsey teased her while she cooked). 

The three of you had been together for nearly eight months, and recently you had all decided that maybe it was time to stop hiding. The first step was telling Taylor, but you weren’t really sure how. 

Your heart thumped in your chest at the thought of your two favorite women. Your girlfriends, you reminded yourself. They made you feel so many amazing, and terrifying things you had never felt before. Taylor always sang about those emotions, and you wondered if this was what she was talking about. 

“Can I ask you a question?” You asked softly, and Taylor paused her stirring on the stove. That was always the cue you used when you wanted to have a serious conversation. When you were nervous about whatever the answer would be. The last time you had asked that you wanted to know if she would be upset if you skipped college in favor of going pro.

Her opinion mattered to you more than anyone else’s. 

“You know you always can,” She said, avoiding looking over her shoulder (towards where she knew you were worrying your lip between your teeth). 

“How did you know you were in love?”  

Taylor paused, a pan halfway out of the oven, at the completely unexpected question. She should have seen this coming, she had seen the way those two looked at you. 

She cleared her throat, straightening and setting the hot pan on some oven mitts on the counter, before turning her full attention to you. She took in how you seemed so hunched in on yourself, your eyes still glued to your glass. 

“Well, She made me feel warm and bubbly like there was a hot spring in my chest. When anything happened, she was the first person I wanted to tell,” 

You blinked up at her, your eyebrows furrowing. “Like you were addicted to her? Like when she smiled, it finally felt like you could breathe?” You rushed out and Taylor let you, giving you to work through your emotions, before she pulled you into a tight hug.

You had a very bad habit of bottling everything up and pretending that you were fine (something she was sure her career choice - and your mother- didn’t necessarily help). 

“Did you feel scared of how much she made you feel?” You leaned into her touch, sighing when she ran her fingers through your hair. 

“In the beginning it did, but then it was freeing when I realized that she would be there to catch me,” Taylor said, kissing the crown of your head. 

You closed your eyes. You didn’t doubt that they would catch you, but the feeling of falling was terrifying. You were in deep and keeping it from your sister was difficult. 

“Dinner looks amazing and I’m starving,” You mumbled, and you felt Taylor sigh. She had gotten a little out of you, but definitely not enough to curve her curiosity. All in good time. 

“Let’s eat,” she said, kissing your hair and standing to make you two plates. She still had 2 weeks to get the rest of the story out of you.

****

You were in absolute heaven. Trapped in between the two warm bodies of your girlfriends, one set of lips moving with your own and another trailing kisses lightly down your neck.

Emily and Lindsey had spent one of their free days (between Adidas and other sponsor commitments) hanging out with you, and you couldn’t be happier. You spent the day exploring the city and checking off a massive list of stereotypical couple things the city had to offer. It had ended in a very romantic dinner at a little pub on the lower east side, and now some amazing kisses in your room at your sister’s apartment. 

Lindsey’s hands slipped under the front of your shirt, her nail scratching lightly up your tummy and ribs as she pressed herself further into your back. You sighed into Emily’s mouth, tilting your head to both give her a better angle on your mouth and give Lindsey more room in your neck. 

“Hm, we’ve gotta stop. Tay will be back soon,” You mumbled when Emily pulled back and turned you so Lindsey got her turn too. 

You felt Emily sit up behind you to get a good look at the clock. “You said we had till 12, it’s only 11:15,” you could hear the smirk in her voice, even as she kissed your ear and made her way down to the patch of skin on your neck she knew drove you wild. 

You bit your lip. It was one thing to ask your sister for relationship advice, and a complete other for her to walk in on it. 

Lindsey gently brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. “Do you wanna stop?”

Emily paused as they both waited for your answer. It was sweet and comforting how they always made sure you felt safe and that you were enthusiastically consenting to whatever you were doing. 

You shook your head and pouted. “No,” 

Lindsey sent you a very indulgent smile, her thumb gently rubbing over your cheeks. “Then less talking, more kissing,” 

You giggled into the kiss, a shiver running down your spine when Emily continued her ministrations in your neck. 

You hummed into the kiss, very much enjoying how their bodies felt pressed into yours. God, it was like you just couldn’t get enough. It was so easy to lose track of time with them. It wasn’t until a loud slam of the door and your sister calling “Y/n, you here?” That you finally pulled away from the women. 

“Shit! You two have to hide,” You squeaked, practically leaping from the bed. You threw Emily’s pants and Lindsey’s shirt towards the women on the bed, who were moving way too slow for your liking. 

“Where?” Emily asked, tripping as she tried to hastily shove her legs inside her pants, while simultaneously glancing around your room in search of a suitable hiding space. 

“I don’t know! Figure it out,” You said over your shoulder, taking a deep breath to hide your panic before you exited the room. 

You carefully closed the door behind you, she would have zero chance of getting any information out of you). 

“Hey kid, how was your day?” Taylor asked from the couch, looking over her wine glass at you. She opened her arms, and you immediately went to burrow into her.

“The best. I went out exploring,” Your entire face brightened (Taylor wondered if it was because you got to experience the city, or from the person, she was sure you experienced it with - ie the person(s?) who had left the hickey’s all down your neck). 

“Where’d you get that shirt?” She asked after a few minutes, pinching the grey sweatshirt (which conveniently had a number 9 and the USWNT logo on it). 

You blinked down at your outfit, your eyes widening, at your outfit, a pair of Emily’s Thorns shorts and Lindsey’s sweater.

“Oh, Umm,” you stuttered, racing to come up with a response when a bang echoed from your room. 

Taylor’s head snapped in the direction of the sound “What was that?”

“Nothing Tay,” You winced at another loud thump followed by several giggles. 

She raised an eyebrow at you and stood to go investigate for herself. She didn’t mind you bringing a significant other home (especially if they made you this happy) but she didn’t want them hiding from her. 

“Are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to go find them for myself?” 

You crossed your arms like a petulant child and pouted. “I also spent the day with Emily and Lindsey,” 

“And?” Taylor asked, slightly confused. She liked the women and she thought you knew she would approve. Hell, she had practically given them the shovel talk already.

You sighed, hunching your shoulders. “They’re hiding in my closet because we were making out when you came home,” 

Taylor giggled at how absolutely pitiful you sounded. She patted your shoulder “Well, I think the closet is a terrible place to hide. How about you get them out here,” 

You nodded and stood to go retrieve the girls, slightly afraid of what Taylor was going to say to them. 

“And y/n,” she said just as you got to your door. 

You paused and turned towards her “Yeah?” You asked, tilting your head to the side. 

“I’m happy that you’re so happy to be dating them,” 

You smiled so wide that your cheeks started to hurt. It felt like a weight was lifted off your chest. No matter what happened going forward, Taylor supported you (even if you were sure she was about to give them one hell of a shovel talk and set up some serious boundaries). 

You nodded and entered your room. Perhaps it was about time that you all came out of the closet. 

******

You weren’t quite sure how you always got yourself into these situations. Maybe it was that you, Em, and Linds barely got to see each other outside of camp during the season, or maybe it was because the three of you were so sickeningly in love that you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself. 

Whatever it was, you, Emily, and Lindsey couldn’t seem to keep your hands to yourself (especially after you came out to your sister). 

Even now, with the no girlfriends rule at camp, you found yourself pinned to the elevator wall by Lindsey’s hips, thoroughly enjoying the way Emily’s tongue was exploring your mouth (shivering slightly when Lindsey hit the sensitive spots on her neck) (with no idea how they thought this position was comfortable for them). 

You were so engrossed in your kissing that you didn’t hear the ding of the elevator, or the doors beginning to slide open. 

“Holy shit guys, at least let the girl breathe,” Kelley’s cackling caused all three of you to jump, and Lindsey to inadvertently knock heads with you. 

“Fuck,” Emily hissed, working her way out from between Lindsey’s arms and your chest. 

“Ow,” You mumbled, rubbing your forehead l, as Lindsey used a thumb to lift your chin so she could look at it. “You alright babe,” She asked softly. 

Kelley laughed louder at the mess that was the three of you trying to untangle yourselves from each other, ignoring Alex’s glare (teasing someone while their cheeks were as red as yours were wasn’t something she felt comfortable with). 

“Shut up Kelley,” Emily grumbled, pulling you off the wall so she could hug you from behind. You leaned back into the woman, taking whatever comfort you could. The three of you knew it was time to tell the team, but you hadn’t expected it to happen like this. 

“How long has this been going on?” Alex asked softly after a few minutes. There was no way the three of you could be so comfortable around each other if this was a new thing. 

“Almost a year,” You said, shyly looking up at Lindsey, who placed a very sweet kiss on your cheek while Emily placed the same on your other. 

“Does Taylor know?” Alex asked at the same time Kelley said “I’m gonna need an exact date,”. 

Alex slapped the back of Kelley’s head. “Not the time Kel,”

“Yeah, Taylor knows and is super cool with it,” Lindsey said softly, squeezing your hand. 

Alex tilted her head, looking to you for confirmation. You nodded. 

“Good, because I didn’t want to have to try and keep it from her,” The forward smirked, and you felt more heat in your cheeks. You all promised you would never mention that incident again. 

“She was terrifying last time we saw her mad,” Kelley grumble, rubbing the back of her head. 

“That was because you let Y/n surf in giant waves on her first time out,” Emily snorted, nuzzling her nose into the space behind your ear. Alex smiled softly at the sight of you so relaxed. 

“Are you three going to tell the team?” She asked. 

“You might have to if you are going to continue playing tonsil tennis in the hallways,” Kelley added, only for Alex to slap the back of her head again. 

“We hadn’t really talked about it yet…” You mumbled. Both of your girlfriends squeezed you (Lindsey getting your gains, while Emily tightened the arms she had wrapped around your middle). 

“Well, could you wait like 3 days? I have 20 bucks on you three taking until the middle of camp to come out,” Kelley asked, scratching the back of her neck. You rolled your eyes. Of course, they would have bets on you, but you weren’t about to bend over backward for it. 

“You knew?” Emily screeched. Kelley cackled nodding wildly. 

“You’re not exactly subtle,” Alex laughed. Anyone with eyes could see that you were head over heels for the women and that they were falling just as hard as you were. 

*****

The internet fucking sucked. You knew that and found it relatively easy to ignore the mass chatter of the online world, but then again you had never been a part of such a disgusting report by some shady internet reporter. 

All you had done was gone to lunch with Shawn Mendes, and someone had snapped a picture. The two of you had become good friends after spending so much time together on the 1989 tour. Now some random reporter was commenting on how you had confirmed your new relationship. It wouldn’t have mattered if you were anyone else, but Taylor’s fandom had blown up the small town reporter’s article. 

Now they wouldn’t leave you the fuck alone. 

“We’re not going to respond to it,” You huffed, crossing your arms adamantly in front of your chest, effectively pushing your plate of pancakes away. You squinted at the vets sitting across from you, completely baffled why they thought you would take any other route. 

Lindsey’s arm around your shoulder righted, while Emily leaned in, almost conspiratorially. “Of course not, but wouldn’t it be fun to send the fans on a little goose chase anyway?” 

Your ears perked at that. Taylor’s fans were always so fun to mess with. They made it so easy, particularly because your sister had trained them to always look for clues (that most of the time exist). 

“And we have been talking about wanting to come out,” Lindsey added softly. 

Your expression soured. You didn’t want to do this as a reaction. You wanted it to happen naturally. 

“I don’t wanna do that in response to some asshole who doesn’t understand boundaries,” You pouted. 

“But what if we did it our way?” Lindsey and Emily both asked at the same time. It was scary how in sync they were most of the time. 

“Like get the team involved, tease the fans. At least show them that you don’t play for Mr. Mendes’ team,” Emily shrugged, trying to act like she didn’t care, but you knew she did. 

You couldn’t help but smirk. You did love to mess with the fans. 

“If you do wanna mess with the fans, I have the perfect picture” Tobin chimed in, giving you that little push you needed. 

Emily raised her eyebrows at the woman, ignoring the glares the rest of the vets were sending her way. “Didn’t see you as a prankster Toby,” 

“It’s artsier than anything else…” Tobin grumbled, flipping her phone to show you the photo she was talking about. 

It was of you, Emily and Lindsey during a morning hike the team had taken. You were laughing, while both of their heads were tucked into your neck. You were the only one clearly identifiable, but it was clear you were smitten with whoever you were with. 

“Ooo, I like that one,” You said, suddenly feeling excited. It was bound to send the fans into a frenzy because you couldn’t see who was making you smile so wide. 

Tobin nodded and began typing out the post, before flipping it for you to read and ok. You giggled at the tag line “only those two knuckleheads could get you to smile this wide before your morning coffee”. 

“Good?” Tobin asked, and you nodded enthusiastically. It was perfect, and coming out this way- with the help of your team- felt amazing. 

“I have one too. You guys are too photogenic,” Christen said, pulling up her phone and begging to scroll through her photos (much like the rest of the team began to do). Were you guys really that obvious? No wonder they had bets going. 

*****

Your teammates were having way too much fun. You shouldn’t have been surprised considering how private the women normally were, it must have been nice to get some time sending the fans on a wild goose chase. You were also surprised at how many photos your teammates had taken of you and your girlfriends. And just how many of those photos were perfect for the little game you were playing with the fans. 

You could identify yourself on all of them, but Emily and Lindsey weren’t clear at all. But it was plain to see that you were very in love with whoever was sitting next to you. 

“Did you see Alex’s picture? It's amazing!” You said, wiggling excitedly between your girlfriends. The three of you had taken a break from the team and decided to cuddle while you watched the fans go insane. (It was honestly one of your favorite places to be). 

“Pshhh, no Pinos is totally the best,” Emily snorted. 

You pouted. She nudged your side and placed a very sweet kiss on your pouty lips. 

Alex’s photo of Emily and Lindsey throwing you into the ocean was totally better than the one of you shoving and chasing your girlfriends with birthday cake-covered hands. 

“No, Kelley’s is totally the top picture in the bunch,” Lindsey smirked, nudging your chin with her nose from your other side. 

You blinked up at her and looked at the photo of one of your favorite goal celebrations. You had literally leaped into Emily and Lindsey’s arms, but you were at least 3 feet higher than Lindsey’s head in that picture. 

You bit your lip. It was a very good picture, one of your favorites actually, but there was one that topped them all for you. “They’re all pretty good, but I think I’ve got the best one,” You said softly, pulling out your phone. 

It didn’t take you long to find the picture in question (it also happened to be your lock screen). You were smiling brightly at the camera, the reputation tour stage (lit for the song Dress) clearly behind you, trapped between Emily and Lindsey kissing each of your cheeks. Your girlfriends looked over your shoulders to catch a glimpse of your phone. 

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” Lindsey asked softly. There was no hiding or pretending in that photo. It was open and honest (and a great picture of a fantastic night). 

“Yeah, it’s like speak now or forever hold your peace,” Emily added, and you could practically hear her eyebrow raising. 

“No, but I don’t wanna hide you two,” You shrugged. It was the balance you sister had worked her entire career to achieve. Hiding away meant that there was no commentary about your relationship from people you had never met (loose lips sank ships after all), but it also meant avoiding the little things that you longed to do in public. 

You weren’t sure if you would ever be ready to face the media, but your desire to be with your girlfriends the way you wanted was just so powerful. 

“You know we’ll wait as long as you need us to,” Lindsey said, using her thumb to tilt your chin and look you in the eyes. 

you nodded, your eyes never leaving her concerned blue ones. “I know but, like-. I wanna be able to hold your hand or kiss you and not have to worry who's watching. I want to be able to take you on dates, and not care about if a camera can see us cuddling. I want to be able to post about how great you looked in a game, or for your birthday. I don’t want to hide,” 

During your rant, Emily had wrapped herself around you from behind, resting her chin on your shoulder and rubbing her hands flat on your belly (which never failed to calm you down). 

“We know darling, but once this is done, it can’t be undone,” She said softly. 

You threaded your fingers through hers, glancing down to avoid Lindsey’s appraising stare (you never could get anything past them). “I didn’t think you were a Shakespeare fan,” You mumbled. 

“I’m full of surprises,” Emily said, kissing her favorite spot just behind your ear. Lindsey cracked a smile too “we both are”. 

“I know,” You nodded suddenly serious, as you carefully extracted yourself from your girlfriends and began to type up the Instagram post. 

You passed them the phone when you were done, idly twiddling your fingers now that you didn’t have anything in your hands. “I’m gonna do it if you two are alright with it,” 

“We’re fine with whatever you choose, we love you and just want you to be comfortable,” Lindsey and Emily both said, rubbing your back and arm respectively in a comforting motion. 

“I know, and I love you too. Let’s do it,” you said clicking the button and closing your phone. You didn’t need to watch the comments roll in.

It wouldn’t be until the next morning that you would see your sister had also decided to chime in. And you couldn’t keep the smile off your face at her simple caption- love my sister and her girlies. For sure the best squad ever. 

[cosmiclatte28]

RING (renjun x you)

a/n : I had to make this after seeing Renjun’s long hair... bless all of your saturday with this short imagine and long hair renjun 🥺👌

enjoy!! injeolmi, we are winning big this week!

“It’s gotten a bit too long,” you hear someone huff from the bathroom. Though you know that sound comes from your boyfriend, you still feel curious about what he meant.

You bring your step carefully to the bathroom, peeking from the opened door just to see Renjun in his semi dry hair state looking at his reflection in the mirror.

“What is it?” you raise your brow looking at his reflection in the mirror.

Renjun gives you a little smile and shrugs his shoulder “My hair is long now.” He runs his finger here and there trying to find the perfect style for this current length.

“Should I cut it?” he asks unsure of what to feel about seeing his reflection.

You quickly shake your head “No way! You should not cut it, well at least if you ask me … I like it.” You walk into the bathroom and stand beside him.

Gently you turn his torso to face you and as you stand on the tip of your toes you brush his hair away from the centre of his forehead and with your agile fingers you style them to part to the side.

“Do I look okay?” he feels insecure about his looks.

You smile “Just okay? This is more than okay Jun-ie,” you look around your room to reach for your hair dryer.

“Do you trust me?” you shake your hair dryer softly giving a test on the temperature.

Renjun nods “What could go wrong right?” he chuckles and picks you up to sit on the sink facing him.

You laugh, this is better than standing on your toes and having a cramp.

The hair dryer helps the hair turns semi stiff but fluffy and you reach out for the comb and a hair gel. With full concentration, you take your time and energy to style your boyfriend’s new long hair.

“You’re acting like you know what you’re doing.” Renjun peeks from his long hair and teases you a little for you sometimes look baffled with that to do.

“Shut up, I can make this worse.” You threaten him

Renjun places his hand firmer on your waist, resting them there to secure you from falling down.

“Stop tickling me, I am holding a scissor right now,” you elbow his hand naughty fingers away as you were cutting some of the fringes to tidy up his look.

“Where do you wanna go now that I am looking good?” Renjun asks before he even sees how he looks like.

You smile “I don’t know, I am not ready to go… I still look messy.” You bite your lips when you do the final touch and take a lean back to examine his face.

“God Renjun, you look sexy.” You drop the tools down and clap your hands.

“Oh do I?” he smirks and steps aside to look at his reflection. His hand satisfiedly play with his hair and a smile grows on his face.

“I like this,” his pure satisfied look is enough to pay your hard work, “You’re better than I thought.”

“Whatever, go do something with it.” You push his shoulder away from you and close the door. You’re taking a bath now for you sweat so much styling his hair.

Mostly because you were so close to him and you can feel his hands on your body and your heart is beating super fast.

--

Your body is refreshed and you slowly exit the bathroom with a towel on your damp hair, there you hear some noise in the dining room. You know better to not directly jump into the room incase he was doing something with the fans.

You put your ears on guard and notice he is doing a live with his fans. You don’t need him to shoo you as you quietly make your way to the room without much noise.

You tune into his live, smiling at how proud you are to read the comments flooded with fans loving Renjun’s hair.

“Ah yes, this ring is a wedding ring.” He proceeds to tell the story of how he gets all the seven members a matching wedding ring.

You giggle when you remember Renjun telling you the story of how he went to look for rings with Jeno and he liked that ring. Renjun sent the picture to the group and despite the members having questions why he was even looking for a ring with jeno, they just thank him when their rings came.

Come to think of it. You were laughing too hard that night and forgot to ask Renjun why he was looking for a ring with Jeno that day? Though you know the fans are now wilding over the fact of dream having 7 wedding rings, and Renjun Jeno shipper are all over the galaxy… you still find yourself zoning off finding the answer why is he looking for a ring.

--

His live ended and you’re still hiding in your room, waiting for Renjun to come and say you’re good to come out already. He takes a longer time, maybe uploading his bubble or something…

You just toss and turn on your bed, hugging your favorite fox plushies and just scrolling through the web which is already flooded with Renjun’s ring story.

“I’m done with the live, sorry if it takes a long time.” Renjun appears in your bed, his hair is already messy but that makes it look more neutral and attractive.

“So, how did the shop owner look like when you ordered 7 rings?” you asked jokingly

Renjun’s eyes widen and he laughs “Actually, seven is odd they will be questioning who wears one alone.”

Your breath hitches are you thinking of the right thing.

“So?”

“So, I bought eight! And actually the first ring was mine and the second was yours.” He picks out a small velvet box from his pocket and jumps on the bed next to you.

“Will you take my promise ring? I’m not getting down on one knee, it’s too cliché.” He grins.

Your eyes are still glued at the perfect ring shining shimmering displayed in front of you.

You cup your cheeks and nod eagerly “Hell yes Renjun! I will.” Your eyes are teary when sudden memories of dating Renjun for 2 years pass by you.

“It’s been two years and I think it’s a good time to give you my promise ring. This way we both can remember our goal and our commitment, right?” he grabs your hand and slips the ring nicely to your finger.

“Fits perfect!” he kisses your knuckle and you hug him with all your might as if afraid he might lose in a blink of an eye and you wake up from a fragment of your imagination.

“I love you Renjun, is this a dream?” you look into his eyes to find lies or just a prank or anything else that may show you this isn’t real life.

“Ouch!” you yelp and wipe your red forehead

“The flick hurts, it’s real life.” He opens his arm “Come hug me, you won’t be able to touch me if I am just a fragment of your imagination.”

You dive into his embrace without a doubt and when his hand touches your back, your nose filled with his musky scent and your hand can play with his long hair, you know Renjun is not a piece of your imagination and this is the real life you’re blessed with.

“I love you most (y/n), thank you for always being by my side. Let’s walk with each other side by side longer okay?” he plants a deep kiss to your forehead, and you close your eyes to melt into his presence.

“I’ll be with you Renjun, to infinity and beyond.”

 end

oh dang that hair and this scenario lives free in my head :)))

[mexicancat-girl]

Still Waters Run Deep

A birthday fic for @chadsuke ​ / @ftcoye ​! 

The last time I've written serious Naruto fanfiction was 2015, so I blame them for this.

I wanted to write something as a thank-you​ for them being one of the best writers for the Naruto fandom. Their fics always bring me joy. Their characterizations are amazing. Their wlw fics are galaxy brain. 

AO3 Link (here)

.

...

Mei Terumi could feel a headache coming on.

It was not over the current war effort, thankfully. Mostly because said war effort had managed to defeat their opponents, ie: a snake-possessed necromancer, a thought-to-be-dead megalomaniac, an impossibly hard-to-kill plant man, a self-made Jinchuriki, and a literal rabbit Goddess.

Truth be told, anyone should be having a headache from such an insane repertoire of God-like beings managing to cripple five nations worth of forces. Or, well, any sane person—and Mei likes to think herself as rightfully sane, thank you very much.

She is, after all, the person who stopped a tyrannical Kage from furthering destroying her home nation from the inside out. And, you know, committing even more genocide. So, there was that.

Thankfully, she is the current Mizukage. The Fourth Shinobi World War is done and over with. They have won. They are alive.

But Mei hasn’t survived this long without being able to see the big picture or think a few steps ahead. She wouldn’t have been able to dismantle Yagura’s forces and managed to beat him down and kill him, otherwise.

Every nation has suffered great losses from this war. They’d nearly been fighting an unwinnable battle ten times over. All the current survivors were no doubt suffering from massive psychological if not physical damage, having had to watch their comrades fall before them in variously gruesome ways.

That’s without accounting for the people who watched as their dead comrades and family were raised from the dead to fight against them. Then with them. Then having their bodies crumble as the jutsu keeping them going burned out, the stolen minutes with loved ones lost making things either healing or unbearable, depending on the person.

Quite frankly, it was an exhausting debacle for all involved, in ways that most of them had not—could not—have accounted for. They were all pushed to their limits physically, mentally, and emotionally.

And while the threats were finally vanquished, it’s not over yet. Not by a long shot.

Because after this, they must bury the dead. Heal their wounded.

Then after that, they have to figure out where the hell to go from here. How to just…move on.

Sure, the shinobi nations all teamed up together against this major threat. But what comes after…?

How will they deal with war criminals like Orochimaru of the Sannin? Like Kabuto Yakushi? Like Sasuke Uchiha?

How will they go about making a peace treaty? Will there be a peace treaty? They’ve come together to fight in this war, yes, but that was out of necessity. So that the entire world did not fall into chaos. This rare show of unity can hardly erase decades of bloodshed and ill will and complicated history between the Elemental Nations.

It’s all a rather nerves-inducing line of questioning that, sadly, they must consider. Especially those in positions of power and authority. Since Mei is Mizukage, she’ll no doubt have to weather all of that.

For any and all possible talks of peace, the Kage will be involved, of course, because that’s a no-brainer. But who else will be pulled into the discussions? The war tacticians? The Nations’ daimyo? The very teenagers that felled a God and saved them all? Probably. Most likely.

Mei Terumi can barely stand talking to Water Country’s daimyo on a good day. Add in the daimyo of the other Nations—all ridiculously spoiled, ludicrously rich, greedy old men—will eat away at her will to live. No doubt they’ll bicker over who will cover the costs of reparations, and about how much aid should be granted to their shinobi villages, and blah blah blah.

Kill her now…

Mei likes to think that she is perfectly reasonable. That she can keep a level head, and bullshit with the best of them. That she is strong enough to get her point across without being callously cruel—and that just because she has compassion, it shouldn’t be considered a weakness.

Her nation has lived under tyranny and pain and tumultuously bloody waters for far too long. She does not want to rule with an iron fist, but still wants to be strong and cutthroat enough to protect her people and keep others in check. She’s sure she can lead her village—her country, her home—to a better tomorrow.

She’s sure that not everyone else thinks that. Many people see what they like to see, and they see a beautiful woman who acts coquettishly and dresses up. They see a woman who happens to have two powerful kekkei genkai. She must have gotten lucky, right? She must have seduced and swayed enough men to her side to do her bidding, for her to be Mizukage. She must have gotten in a good shot with her two bloodlines, to take out the previous Mizukage.

Mei is a perfectly reasonable person, and she is competent, and she is strong, and she happens to be quite a good leader thank you very much.

She’s also fairly certain that no matter how hard she tries, she will not be held in the same regard simply because she is a woman in a world of men.

Case in point: even if the daimyo don’t get involved with the peace treaties, there’s the other Kage to worry about. Mei would like to think that she’s got the patience to deal with them and the coy poker-face to back it up, but they’re all rather…hm. Eclectic is the most diplomatic word she can think of.

Onoki is an old coot who wouldn’t know innovation and progressiveness if it bit him on his fat red nose. Ā is, quite frankly, a bullheaded asshole who has negative tact and is constantly grandstanding to compensate for his probably small dick. Two patronizing, utterly misogynistic bastards that would rather butt heads and yell for an entire meeting than take any form of suggestions because they had sticks shoved that far up their own asses.

They were downright incorrigible.

There was also the third male of the group to worry about, though admittedly in a completely different sense.

Gaara speaks carefully and is perfectly polite, very willing to listen to others on top of that. He’s proven himself to be a good leader and oddly fantastic motivational speaker—kid could probably move an entire mountain range if he asked the ground nicely enough— strong in his own right. But there’s still the fact that he’s just a teenager.

He’s only been Kazekage for about, what, two years? Sure, that’s longer than Mei’s been Mizukage by double, but she’s been spearheading the Kiri Rebellion for a solid number of years before-hand. She’s led squadrons and held the lives of hundreds in her hands while Gaara was still stuck in school or private lessons. Suna scrambled in the time it took to train up a replacement after their Kage was assassinated by Orochimaru, lucky enough to find someone as strong as Gaara to take the mantel. But that doesn’t hide the fact that he’s the most inexperienced of them, made a Kage all at sixteen, barely seventeen now.

Despite everything he’s done to prove himself in the war—and having proven himself at least a good five times over, at that— Gaara’s age will always be an obstacle he has to overcome. Onoki and Ā certainly didn’t consider him a threat to their grandstanding and bullshit for just that reason, using seniority as to why they considered their own peon brains to be greater than Gaara’s.

Gaara is someone who’s willing to listen to reason, but Mei cannot count on him to be her main support. To act as a tiebreaker, possibly. But Onoki and Ā look down on him nearly the same amount as they look down on Mei herself. The fact that he is young puts him on the same level of Mei being a woman, in their misogynistic views.

The only person she can count on to have any Gods-forsaken sense is Tsunade Senju, and for good reason.

Tsunade is older than all of them but Onoki, and she certainly has the strength and experience to back herself up. She hasn’t been a Kage for as long as Onoki and Ā, but her strength is literally legendary and she’s well-travelled and intelligent, which is more than either man can claim. She’s one of the Sanin, and she revolutionized Medic Ninjutsu across the entirety of the Elemental Nations, for Gods’ sakes.

If not for Tsunade being temporarily incapacitated during her tenure, she’d have a spotless record.

As it is, she cuts through bullshit like a sharpened kunai through butter. Nothing cows her. No men will get her to back down, and certainly not men she could crush with her bare hands.

Tsunade is so competent and amazing, Mei’s possibly even a little in love. But that’s natural, isn’t it? It’s Tsunade Senju, after all. Mei’s sure everyone is a little starstruck when in the presence of such a force of nature.

In fact, Mei quickly finds that the first post-war meeting with Tsunade is probably the smoothest and most productive meeting between the Kage yet, no doubt since the founding of the Hidden Villages themselves!

And it’s all because Tsunade Senju takes no prisoners. When she sets out to do something, she gets it done.

Onoki and Ā are quick to start bickering about reparation costs and whining about treaties like the utterly braindead, paranoid bastards they are.

But, oh no. That doesn’t long very long with Tsunade around.

The blonde woman slams her palm on her desk with careful restraint, as the wood doesn’t shatter on impact. She leans over it, stares straight into Onoki and Ā’s eyes with an intensity that would make lesser men shit their pants.

And then, speaking in a tone that brooked no argument, “My grandfather, Hashirama Senju, God of Shinobi, could tame the Tailed Beasts. He first created the Ninja Villages for peace. He was literally re-animated to fight by our side, in the flesh. Alongside my student, one of the teenagers that helped kill a God because the world couldn’t shut the fuck up for two seconds and stop fighting. We. Are. Going. To. Have. Peace.”

Both men closed their mouths, in-synch, with audible clicks of their teeth.

For once, they are silent, and it’s utterly delightful.

“As someone who stopped a bloody civil war and the massacre of bloodlines, in order to bring peace to their own Village, I concur,” Mei agrees calmly, flashing a sweet smile with a hint more teeth than polite. Normally, she would have more constraint, but she is so damn giddy, she can’t help herself but jumping at the weakness like a shark smelling blood.

(She may be kinder than the past Mizukage by leagues, but she is still the leader of the Bloody Mist. She’ll find a way to reform her Village so it’s no longer known as the Bloody Mist, but they are still the most ruthless of the Ninja Villages by far.

That is to say: when Mei sees an obvious weak point, a chance to sink her teeth it, well. She’ll take it. She’s not all looks, after all. She’s as ruthless as the rest of them.)

Onoki and Ā narrow their eyes at Mei, their lips thinned as they frown disapprovingly and grumpily at her—no doubt for her daring to speak.

But before they can protest, Gaara comes in clutch, as the tiebreaker that Mei had been hoping for.

Hands clasped in front of himself and looking much older than his seventeen years, the Kazekage nods solemnly. “I agree.”

One meeting.

One meeting is all it takes to make the peace talks officially under way, and Mei cannot be more relieved.

She might just have to send Tsunade a complimentary fruit basket or something, as a thank-you. The Sanin has managed to nearly singlehandedly dismantle the bullshit of grandstanding and dick-measuring that the meetings would have devolved into, if not for her directness.

Besides, it was impossible for Onoki and Ā to ever compare, anyways.

After all, Tsunade very obviously had the biggest dick out of them all, just by proxy of how she conducted herself alone.

It’s also helpful to have someone that the saviors of the world so clearly respect and look up to. Sakura Haruno was literally Tsunade’s student. Naruto Uzumaki calls her ‘granny’. Sasuke Uchiha is wary around her and stands as far as possible from the woman that he can— without both appearing rude and leaving the side of his friends.

So yes, it was an absolute blessing to have Tsunade as the Hokage, if only because it made everything so much easier for Mei to handle as the Mizukage in political meetings.

Women have to stick together, after all, in a world of men.

But hopefully, they’ll help usher in a future where women are given the opportunities to be able to be equals with men. Being female Kage certainly helps start that.

The future is looking bright to Mei already.

...

[publishinggoblin]

How to Run a Kickstarter pt 6

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Yesterday I covered the final steps you have to take on their website before you can submit your project to be ready for launch. So today... we do it.

                            LAUNCHING YOUR PROJECT

Make Sure People Know: By now, you should have been sharing the project preview link around a bunch. You can see on the project preview page itself how many people have actually hit the “Notify me on Launch” button. Note that while that number might even look big-- big enough to fund you day one-- it is tricky.

It’s not that people are liars. It’s not that they actually hate the project. It’s just that hitting a button that says “notify me” is so much less of a commitment than actually going and pledging your money. It’s like when people say “Oh my gosh this design is awesome, if it was on a shirt I’d buy it!” It’s a throwaway motion of support, meant to make you feel good and loved and seen. It’s almost always done with love. That being said, you will probably have a 20-30% conversion rate of people ACTUALLY backing it from that notify number. Don’t be discouraged. This is normal.

Pick a Good Time: Do not launch at 1 AM. Do not launch at 11 PM. Consider your time zones a bit if you think most of your backers will be international, but otherwise try for sometime in the late morning or around noon. People are active on the internet during lunch time, and shortly after work, around 5 or 6pm. Also consider the date while you’re doing it. A Kickstarter around Christmas sounds nice, but then you consider that you won’t actually get the item to them until AFTER Christmas, and it doesn’t sound as nice of a time. Last I looked, October is one of the best months, but otherwise you should feel free to launch almost whenever. I’d just avoid November/December/January, personally.

When You Launch, POST EVERYWHERE: Have a twitter? A tumblr? A facebook? A reddit? Post on your own wall, make a tweet, tumble a tumbl, then find communities on reddit, on facebook, groups on pillowfort, all your discords-- wherever you are. Make sure everyone you have any connection to knows you launched.

Then do it again. You should be doing it around noon, around 5/6pm, and again in the morning the next day. Rinse and repeat. Some people might see the multiple posts and be annoyed, but most people won’t see any, or will just happen upon one of them. You’re less annoying than you think.

This is different for groups, circles, or reddits you are not a regularly active member of, or who have rules of any kind. BE MINDFUL! If you break their rules spam posting, you will lose that avenue entirely for sharing your post in.

                   AFTER LAUNCHING YOUR PROJECT

Your Work Has Just Begun: Reach out to online blogs, websites, review places for your product type, and begin pitching your project to them immediately. If they can do a story with a link to your campaign, perfect. For most of the bigger ones, this is actually something to do BEFORE launching, as they have a backlog of articles. Try to line it up to match your launch if you can, and make sure they have your project preview link, as that will go to your project once it’s live.

Day 1 is the most important. As noted before, it creates the standard for how visible your project will be on their site, since their algorithm cares about unique backer count per day. So the more people you get day 1, the more visible you are day 2, and the more likely you get more people just perusing which feeds into the cycle. Make day 1 count. Be active. Post a lot.

You will want to post once a day or so on your various social media about the state of your campaign, how much money you are away from the goal (or how many backers, ie “We need just 10 more people to make our goal, are you one of those 10?”), or from the next stretch goal.

Then there’s all the management to do.

Following the Numbers: Do not watch a pot. It won’t boil. But do feel free to check in from time to time to see how the pot is doing. Basically? Check in hourly on the first day to see how the money/backer count is going. After that, you can check a few times a day, but don’t make it overly habitual. You will burn out and begin to over worry. 

Cancellations: You will have people pledge, only to later cancel, sometimes the same day! Unless you get a ton of them all at once, you didn’t do anything wrong. It always happens. People realize they want that money for something else, won’t have that money when they need it, or just couldn’t afford it in the first place. It’s okay, don’t take it personally. 

Post Updates: I prefer to post one update at the end of the first 24 hours, when we meet the base funding goal (and each stretch goal), and otherwise once a week. Some campaigns update each day. This is up to you, but make sure you are posting some. If you post none, it looks like a dead campaign with no one watching it. Do be mindful that each one you post sends an email out to backers, so don’t spam, and avoid doing multiple a day if you can help it. 

If you are getting lots of questions in comments or direct messages, answer them in updates as well as replying to those comments and messages.

Comments and Messages: Kill them with kindness. Some people say shitty things, and you need to just smile through it. Mostly you’ll get compliments in comments. Reply to them! Show them you are engaged. Same with messages.

Note that you will get lots of messages from people claiming their can boost your numbers if you sign up with them. Report it for spam and never, ever reply. They have basically all been shown to be scams. 

The Lull: After the first few days, or the first week, the campaign tends to stagnate a bit. You keep getting more people or money, but way less than before. This is normal. It will pick up again near the end. You can afford to be a little more lax in posting about it at this period to give people a cool down from your constant marketing. 

Keep it Fresh: If you have stretch goals, now is the time to really bust them out and show what they are. Change your marketing to be about what else can be unlocked. If your campaign is struggling to hit its mark halfway through, now is the time to include an extra incentive or two. Find things that are price-negligible or free to include-- such as your signature on every copy, a PDF for everyone of something else you made, or an extra digital copy. 

That Final Week: If the first few days are the most important, the final few are equally so. You will often see almost as many people or as much money, as you begin to ramp up your promotion again and as people who favorited the project will get notifications in the final 48 hours by email that the project is nearly ended, and now is the time to back.

It’s okay to become annoying during this time. Post a ton. It’s almost over, so people won’t have to live through it for too long.

Then it ends. If you were successful, congratulations! If you weren’t-- that’s okay! Take a look at the numbers, what happened? Was it a lackluster first day? Then next time, you need to capture more people’s attention before launch. Build up a following, and try again later.

If you realize you set the goal too high? You can always relaunch with a lower goal that’s more attainable, and let people from this campaign know.

In either case, ABSOLUTELY POST AN UPDATE WHEN IT ENDS.

Tomorrow, we talk about what to do AFTER the Kickstarter ends.

[khaleesirin]

Hi, khaleesirin! I’ve read your “Daenerys Targaryen is the Great Other” analysis, I thought it was particularly amazing (because the standard is high as it is), it gave me a new lens to look at and analyze Daenerys’ story and it propelled me to reflect further about her arc and themes in relation to the other characters’. I’d like to know your opinion about my musings.

So, I think it’s obvious that the show - at least in its final episodes - had double standards when it came to Daenerys in order to paint her in a bad light. However, I wonder if that won’t also be the case in the books, to a lesser extent.

One of the major themes permeating FeastDance as a whole is false peace, which you can see with the Lannisters and the Tyrells squabbling over Tommen; the several factions in the Night’s Watch; the Freys in the Riverlands; the Boltons and the former Stark vassals (especially the Manderlys); Dorne’s supposed allegiance to the Iron Throne (and also Arianne’s years-long resentment); the situation in the Vale with Littlefinger as Lord Protector; Team Aegon out of public sight (for the most part); and, of course, Daenerys’ campaign in Slaver’s Bay. In all of these plots, people are trying to resolve their disagreements in vain: sometimes war is inevitable.

What makes me uncomfortable is that, as far as I’m aware, Daenerys is the only character whose choice of war (or, more precisely, Fire and Blood) is possibly being framed negatively. I say “possibly” because we don’t have TWOW in our hands to be sure, but you can see that’s a possibility considering how a significant part of the fandom has come to the conclusion that she just can’t be a peacetime queen, she has shown her “true colors”. This opinion never sat well with me because, as I said, lots of characters are heading towards this direction, and Daenerys herself only arrived at that place after having made many efforts to make amends, but they weren’t meant to last because some wars need to be fought on. It is a specific situation that will likely bring out her more violent impulses, yet it doesn’t define her character as a whole. I’ve read arguments about how the peace was worth it in Meereen and how Daenerys is now going backwards, but I simply disagree with them and, considering the pattern in the narrative and the anti-slavery ideas in Fevre Dream, I lean towards GRRM disagreeing as well (I’d really like to know if his main inspiration for Daenerys’ storyline was the American Civil War or the Iraq war, because knowing that would really clarify what he is trying to convey with her storyline). In any case, again, why is she the only character whose decision to fight the just (and inevitable) war is being framed as a step too far, a turn to the darkness?

a) In this case, I think it’s worth considering the Doylist viewpoint. ASOIAF was supposed to be a trilogy of books about Westeros first and foremost. Daenerys was supposed to live among the Dothraki, birth her dragons, get an army and get to Westeros in the beginning of the third book. As we know, GRRM is a “gardener”, so, as he had more ideas for the characters in Westeros, he had to create more stories for Daenerys as well, and one of them was her ruling in Meereen. This brings me back to your essay about her: being the fire of the song of ice and fire, why isn’t her anti-slavery war in Essos given as much importance as the War for the Dawn? Why should it be a mid-point for the character to realize that her endgame is Westeros? If Jon’s struggles against the Others represent the battle against the supernatural form of slavery and the ice part of the story, why shouldn’t Daenerys’ narrative be the battle against the human form of slavery and the fire part of the story? I’d argue both are just wars, though the WftD is an easier, more black-and-white, standard fantasy conflict, while the war in Slaver’s Bay has more nuance (one may argue that the characters revolving Daenerys are not fleshed out enough or dumbed down military speaking or one may point out the racist aspects of Daenerys’ story, but the socioeconomic situation is indeed complex) and is more controversial, which only reinforces the need to continue developing this story and, most importantly, Daenerys’ political career (which I’ll get to later).

These questions show that GRRM also has his architect side. Daenerys’ endgame is Westeros because he’s already said his story is about Westeros. Therefore, he needs to transition her to a mindset that’ll propel her to finally leave, but I don’t think he’s considered (or cared enough about) certain negative implications that I laid out above (and it’s not exhaustive, other writers have talked a lot more about it).

b) We also need to consider how the show factors into those speculations and how we look at the story, because, like it or not, GRRM still told the ending to D&D, even if in a very simplified manner. Before season eight aired, I was fine with the idea that all of the six main characters were going through the darkest phases of their journeys, but that Daenerys’ in particular would cause more collateral damage as a natural consequence of the power she wields. After season eight, however, I started to reflect if GRRM may have double standards against Daenerys as well. In any case, the show has made it very likely that her fire and blood phase will culminate with her burning of King’s Landing. On the one hand, this could be dramatically interesting, but on the other hand, it could amplify those very double standards against her. I’ll explain:

b1) As of ADWD, Daenerys hasn’t yet been exposed to the atrocities her father has committed (in part because she refuses to do so). What better (if deeply tragic) way to do so than have her directly confronting the legacy he’s left behind - namely, the wildfire caches all over the city? It would shatter her sense of purpose in life and lead her to question herself and her sanity. It would lead her to be critical of the Targaryen legacy and how she wants to engage with it and how she uses it to define herself. It would make her feel more lonely and isolated than ever, especially since one of her core wishes is to belong somewhere, to have a place to call home… And no one would embrace her if they think she did it on purpose. I can see this being dramatically really interesting.

b2) But I have my reservations about this: 1) If this happens, Daenerys will be in need for redemption and this doesn’t feel right to me (similar to how I feel about Arya). 1.1) She is not and has never been morally flawed as characters like Jaime or Theon or even Tyrion and Sandor. As of ADWD, she’s only committed two morally ambiguous acts (ie crucifying the 163 masters and torturing the wineseller’s daughters). She’s always had her heart in the right place and, if this tragedy happened, it wouldn’t necessarily turn her darker, she’d be a victim of circumstance (and I say so because I don’t see how her actions are any different than the other leaders fighting in the Wot5K, again the double standards…). I dislike how this would frame her outcome in such a moralistic way, especially considering how her character and arc have been paralleled with Jon’s and I’ve yet to see any theories of his character taking a dark turn. 1.2) She’s one of the characters who better embody the books’ idea that you have to do the right thing even if you don’t get anything in return. And yet, not only her war in Essos will be given less narrative importance compared to the WftD (because it will be treated as a middle stage to her fire and blood phase), but when she arrives in the protagonist-centered Westeros, she will be committing war crimes (even if accidentally in the case of the burning of KL)? I’m not a fan of this scenario because it strengthens the idea that she can’t be a peacetime queen because her choice in her final ADWD chapter was fire and blood (which as I’ve said ignores all the time she spent trying to make peace). 2) Also, I’ve noticed a tendency of fandom also demonizing the Targaryen dynasty as a whole, the dragons and the Iron Throne (which to them serves the same thematic purpose as the Ring of LoTR) and I don’t buy their interpretation either because we’ve already seen previous kings who did right by Westeros sitting on the Iron Throne and using their dragons. Having Daenerys fail so spectacularly to restore her family’s dynasty and destroy its most important symbol (the Iron Throne) does not say much about the dynasty’s nature or even the corrupting nature of power as they’d like to believe, it mainly creates sexist implications (that I’ll discuss below). Of course, this depends on how it’s framed: if the dynasty’s end is meant to be a tragedy because of Aerys II’s actions, then I’d buy it; if the dynasty’s end is meant to be a better course of action for Westeros, then it does not work. I wonder why the Targaryens are so vilified when every other house is also working under the parameters of feudalism. Feudalism as a whole should be criticized. Why are the North or Dorne in any better conditions under the governments of House Stark and House Martell? And if GRRM wanted to make an statement about how it’s bad for one individual to accumulate so much power under a centralized government, he really failed, because the Targaryen dynasty is made of successes as much as failures. 3) I’d still expect Daenerys to choose a diplomatic course of action before ultimately deciding to use her dragons on Team Aegon. Heck, it’s still mind-blowing to me to know how the Yunkish masters have burned a lot more things in ADWD than Daenerys and then envision a scenario where she decides to go fire and blood and then accidentally burns everything. GRRM will have to be careful with how he executes this plot if this happens, precisely because it doesn’t gel that well with her previous characterization.

b3) If Daenerys burning KL comes to pass (and the show made it seem very likely that it will), then Daenerys is most likely another queen who failed, which is another tired plot point as well. Anyone who’s read F&B knows that Aerea and Rhaella Targaryen, Rhaena Targaryen, Rhaenys Targaryen, Rhaenyra Targaryen and Daena Targaryen were all considered as queens but were ultimately passed over for their male relatives. It’s a shame that GRRM had so many opportunities to let women rule and chose not to, so why can’t Daenerys be the ultimate change for the dynasty? Related to that point, why can’t she succeed in re-establishing her dynasty when Aegon the Conqueror could? You can’t escape the gender aspect of her potential failure, and having Sansa end as QITN doesn’t fix that, it only makes one question the double standard that plagues House Targaryen and not the others. Finally, in hindsight of the historical (and GRRM’s) pattern of setting female rulers aside and of everything that might happen to Daenerys in the books, having Aegon take the throne and get the love from the smallfolk Daenerys craves for only adds salt to the wounds.

b4) Of course, all I’m supposing that happened in the show and will also happen in the books is that Daenerys will burn King’s Landing. Will she be made a villain and implied mad as well after a lot of stupid foreshadowing in which male characters only told us what the writers wanted the viewers to see, rather than the writers actually showing signs of madness? Will she willingly burn a city full of innocents? Will she be robbed of her perspective by waving away all her actions as “Targaryen madness” (another way of the fandom demonizing the Targaryens, which the text doesn’t really support if you look closely)? Will GRRM not pay attention to how those actions could undermine the book series’ main themes (not that the fucking show has conveyed any themes in a consistent manner, but that’s a bigger issue)? Will he have it happen at a point that’ll leave Daenerys with no chance to redeem herself and end her story with her legacy forever tarnished in-universe, general awareness and pop culture? Will he make Jon Snow look good even after killing her (if that’s how she dies)? Will he make her work within a system that never gave her a chance and have her last appearance be drenched in Nazi symbolism? Because of the double standard that’s also present in the books affecting how Daenerys is perceived, I’m no longer a fan of the theory of her burning King’s Landing. But, if it happens (and it won’t happen without its share of issues), please, GRRM, let her voice be heard, pay attention to her previous characterization, reflect on how those actions will be tied to the book series’ themes and give her a chance to redeem herself and ultimately end on the side of the heroes (because that’s what she is, and that’s important to acknowledge because of her previous acts, the series’ themes and how she compares - or doesn’t - to the actual villains of the story).

Anyway, I agree with you that it was great to see Daenerys rule in Meereen and that it’d a shame if GRRM doesn’t recognize that in the future books. I’m not sure the original Daenerys as he envisioned was going to be as revolutionary as Daenerys is, but, considering the OTL as it is, if their trajectories have changed, then naturally their endgames must be different as well (fitting with GRRM’s gardener identity).

I’d argue that Daenerys’ ending should emphasize her as a political force. Therefore, if one must have her have her dark phase and then burn King’s Landing (and not allow her to continue the Targaryen dynasty, which I would have liked to see), then have Daenerys decide to turn back east with her three dragons to continue the good fight after concluding that Essos has never felt like home, but it was where she did put the effort to build trees, while Westeros was the dream and home of her ancestors, who do not need to wholly define her. It is the end of the Targaryen dynasty, but not with her death. Why I’d choose an ending like this: 1) The circular ending matches show!Jon’s, whose ending I thought would be fitting for book!Jon’s as well; 2) She ends her journey being more critical of external influences and more aware of her needs and actual experiences instead of simply taking on Viserys’ and her ancestors’ dreams to find an ultimately failed sense of belonging. She’s the one in charge of her journey from now on, which is an existential victory of sorts. The continent where she made and can still make a difference is Essos, and she’ll return aware of that, and with a more realistic and resilient sense of purpose; 3) It emphasizes her role as a queen and a revolutionary, not only as a savior (to people who have been in the abstract for her for most of her life); 4) It won’t be a totally happy ending. She’ll be left scarred from the events she witnessed in Westeros, from the burning of King’s Landing to the fight against the Others to the rejection she experiences from the lords and smallfolk alike. She’ll always feel like she needs to atone for her mistakes and she’ll be another Targaryen queen who failed. She still won’t have found a place and people to call her “home”. 5) That being said, she’s alive, in a position of power, more aware of herself and her place in the world and with the possibility of continuing to do good. And she’s also mentally stable and a hero, far from a villain.

So, what did you think? Do you think there are double standards against Daenerys in the books as well, especially in regards to how the inevitability of the wars is framed? What did you think of my observations about the (likely) upcoming burning of King’s Landing? Would you rather have her sit on the Iron Throne, go back to Essos or something else entirely? Please tell me what you think! I really enjoy your posts and they are the reason why I felt the need to gather my thoughts.

[whitefangworldbuilding]

The Strength of Sienna Khan

I find the subject of how to address where Sienna is on the power scaling of Remnant to be both an interesting question and rather pertinent if one ever wants to write a fic about her and so I have provided my own breakdown on the matter below. 

Opening:

Now, I certainly don't mean it in a "How much Ki does she have" or "Does her Semblance make her an S Class threat" or "She can move at Mach 5". No, I more mean it in a general scaling of, who would she measure up well against in a fair fight sense.

& obviously the answer should be "Whatever doesn't break established canon too much" (Unless an AU or what have you)

However, I do feel there is a sort of bare minimum that needs to be cleared based on what we've seen, but even more, what we know.

So, time for some grounds keeping:

Now I could go into how I doubt one rises to a position like Sienna's and survives being functionally at war with something like the SDC and presumably wanted in every nation save Menagerie and likely Vacuo without being badass, but given she has allies that only means so much, Jac certainly didn't survive based on his personal strength after all, so lets move on.

Someone might argue that anything beyond what we saw in Sienna's trailer (Sorry Adam's, but I digress) to not be applicable, however we only saw her fight once and it seems anyone not at mook level didn't really struggle in that fight so it is hard to get a gauge.

We can infer a lot from the fact that despite having her presumably elite guards, and six other soldiers, plus himself and potentially Hazel on side, Adam still chose to kill Sienna by surprise before she realized he didn't intend for her to step down. This can certainly give the impression that Adam did not feel confident he could defeat her either with that back up, or at least not without severe risks, but that still only gives us so much, because we don't know what those risks were.

Still, I think as a starting point as strong, or more likely stronger/better than Adam seems like a fairly reasonable place to start from based on that and the trailer.

But we can go deeper.

One integral thing to think about when considering where Sienna might be on the overall metric and scale is this.

Cinder didn't try to recruit or intimidate her.

Now, some might argue that "Sienna didn't exist before V4" or that "Adam was High Leader before V3" or what have you. I say this.

But I don't think it matters; not just because Sienna is canon, but because as far back as V1 when Blake imagined the shadow figures who replaced the previous leader, there was not just 1. This means that even if Adam was meant to be higher up than he eventually turned out to be he still would not have been alone, eh wither would have had contemporaries or superiors right from V1 and them needing to recruit in V2 and having such a small pool of forces in V/3 really doesn't give any eight to the idea Adam had the full resources of the Fang at his command.

(Though why the boss of a massive organization would be messing about on a train blowing shit up for the lols is beyond me, hence why I don't think he was ever the leader)

This means that regardless of whether Sienna the character, her design or background, ETC, did to didn't exist specifically before V4 doesn't matter because someone always existed in the WF who wasn't submitting to Cinder as Adam was and held a great deal of power.

So what does that mean?

Well what this means is that to reach a final conclusion we need to look at Cinder Fall and her involvement with the White Fang to reach a final conclusion.

So, Cinder is someone with the training of a skilled Huntress (Seemingly), had an assassin and hallucinogenic thief and fighter on her side, and the resources provided to her by Salem, but rather than going for the High Leader of the White Fang and thus potentially netting the entire organization, she went to Adam.

And we know it was intentional because Cinder knew who Adam would be, seemingly that he had an ego given her degree of flattery and she placed great emphasis on choosing him, meaning that give her intelligence on the WF, means she determined him the best.most likely candidate to agree that would be useful. Now this info wasn't perfect because it either failed to communicate Adam's ego effectively or the political situation in the WF, IE, that they would not be willing to work for a human like this, or at least not with her plan.

But by all of this we can determine Cinder had some moderately good Intel on the White Fang, so the question  becomes...

Why not Sienna Khan? (Or whoever pre her creation, but yes Sienna Khan)

This next segment will involve a slight digression down, but please bear with me.

Cinder is someone not against bribery, flattery or threats to get what she wants, we saw all of this in her recruitment of Adam, so her avoiding this route with the WF's High Leader means a few things. Firstly it means she likely knew Sienna would not agree to such a destructive plan because it served no purpose; this objection could be moralistic or pragmatic, but Cinder would likely assume the latter given her general disposition and attitude.

But would she, would anyone object if it meant not dying? Would someone actually fight a doomed battle and die just to avoid being forced to commit a terrible act, or being subjected to slavery via threat? I doubt Cinder would believe that possible at least for someone who operates at Sienna's level in the world.

Here's the digression.

This was based off Cinder's interactions with Raven but it still feels applicable here. When Raven said that she wanted to kill her own brother, Cinder did not for a second seemingly doubt her, not even assuming something sneaky like an alliance of pragmatism to deal with her (Likely because she knows they fear Salem). No, Cinder just accepts that Raven wants her own brother dead, cheerfully in fact.

Now, say what you will about Raven but given she still has a portal to him & hasn't slit his throat while he was asleep, I think we can agree she, while willing to endanger Qrow, doesn't actively 'want' him dead or to murder him.

But Cinder was willing to accept that she did, and I feel its for much the same reason as one tumblr post mentioned. Cinder assumes everyone else is as petty and evil as she is. That might not be 100% accurate, but I think she'd definitely assume that of people like Raven, Sienna & Adam, even if she likely regards it in degrees, IE, Adam was the most likely to go along with her plan hence seeking him out.

End of digression.

This to me means that Cinder would not be acting on the assumption Sienna would object to her plans morally, or assuming that Sienna would sacrifice herself to stop them, because she likely thinks Sienna is incapable of such things.

So why wouldn't she seek her out and try to force Sienna's hand once she had half the Maiden powers? Cinder seems rather confident in the ability of power and fear to command respect and yet she didn't aim any higher than Adam despite the potential benefits.

Well given Adam was able to blits through her former guards relatively easily -though be it with a bit of shock given they didn't expect him to go that off the hook- this means to m that Sienna would be the major deciding factor here, not her guards or mooks, especially given Cinder can control Grimm and so could likely organize a Grimm attack to keep the grunts busy while she and her allies go for Sienna.

Thus, to me, this means that as far as Cinder was concerned , even with half the Maiden powers, her wonder minions and potentially Adam...

She still did not feel confident in taking down Sienna.

Or at least she was not confident in being able to force Sienna to surrender or to kill her quickly and turn her into a martyr without it being very blatantly clear that she did it, that Adam was a traitor, and generally just turning the entire WF against her or causing it to fracture apart defeating the purpose of the battle.

Given Cinder's ego likely means she has a fairly high bar before she feels threatened or like she couldn't pull off a "just as planned"; the only conclusion I can reach is that even after gaining the Maiden powers and potentially/likely/certainly Adam as an asset, Cinder still did not think she could overpower Sienna easily enough to either win, or at the very least accomplish her goals.

Conclusion

So, when we put all this together what do we get?

Well, we know that Sienna was at least a skilled fighter and one of at least comparable strength to Adam in the trailer.

We know that despite having her guards, back up and Hazel, Adam did not feel confident in either winning or at least not in a quick fight and so resorted to a sneak attack.

We can deduce that despite her powers and connections, Cinder did not feel she had adequate resources to either defeat Sienna and force her to heel, or kill her quickly and frame it on Vale to make Adam High Leader.

Thus, I reason, that Sienna Khan would likely have at the very least be stronger and more skilled than Adam, and could have put up a good fight even against partial Fall Maiden Cinder, Emerald & Mercury, enough that trying it would not be deemed worth the risks involved.

Exactly where you want to put Sienna's strength is obviously up to your own discretion, even if you follow this analyse there's still a lot of room for interpretation or extrapolation.

But I hope that this breakdown has proven insightful and well reasoned, thank you for your time.

Notes:

I almost wish I had made a video of this :D

Brainstorming Semblances could also be fun.

My main one for Sienna is that she has a 'crest' that she can store her Aura in, storing up potentially days, weeks, months or even years that when activated means she can drastically multiply her strength, sorta like Adam, Yang or Nora, but its pre-stored and has a massive gauge, This is the one I give her in the War idea (and in general) hence her being able to vaporize that cruiser, though using said Semblance can be hard, slow and painful and take a long time to recoup.

Other idea include Nine Lives, IE self Resurrection.

One idea I had in a fun little snippet I wrote ages back involved Sienna being able to forge a psychic link with animals, awakening their Aura, extra intelligence & having them fight along side her as her familiars. She had tigers :D

Another had her able to make solid, independent duplicates, or at least one that operated as an e extension of her, dividing her power in half, but letting her be in two places at once.

Another was tat she operated a bit like Cortez from X-Men, but in this case she basically cleaved off a chunk of her own Aura and infused it into others to give them extra strength and energy but could also return said power to herself if she wished to, weakening the, especially if they'd become dependent on her enhancements.

There's probably a lot of other ideas and if you folks have any I'd love to hear-em, but those are some thoughts.

[oskea93]

Think of You Part Seven (part 1)

A/N: Hey guys! I just want to thank you guys for the continued support for Think of You. I’m so glad that all of you enjoy the story. I enjoy writing Caroline and the gang. Out of all the stories i’ve ever written, Caroline and Mac are my favorite OCs. I hope you like them as well! Okay, so i’ve broken chapter seven up into two parts. The first part was a little goofy and filler-ish, but the second part will be more dramatic (ie Nikki and Caroline interactions).  Without further waiting, here’s chapter seven!  PS: Sorry if there are any grammatical mistakes. I’ll try to go back and fix them at a later time! 

Have you ever watched a movie where the main girl sleeps with the main guy and then quietly sneaks of the room the next morning? You sometimes wonder how she’s being so quiet or how the guy can sleep like a log while she’s leaving the bed or getting dressed. Even though I’ve had those thoughts, I never imagined that I would have to figure those things out for myself. I remember getting to this point but I couldn’t believe I let it actually happen. It took almost a year for my ex-boyfriend to get me into his bed. He tried from the very beginning but I brushed off his advances and told him I wasn’t ready. It took Nikki Sixx less than 4 hours to not only bless me with the way his tongue worked but also have me screaming his name as he pounded into me. Oh gosh, that sounds so gross! Long story short- Nikki and I had sex. We had sex numerous times that night and it was amazing! Even though I was in eternal bliss last night and the early part of this morning, I was now regretting every single action I let happen yesterday. First of all, I regretted ever going to the concert. If I just stayed home and watched TV and folded laundry like I planned, this would have never happened. I would still have some sort of dignity. Hell, my poor dignity was left at that stupid concert venue on that slimy couch.  

I looked over at Nikki, taking him in as he slept. Even though he was attractive when he was awake, he was even cuter while he slept. Part of me just wanted to stay and enjoy being wrapped in his arms. It felt nice. The other part of me, the side with all the judgment, was telling me to leave and leave fast. It was as if my brain was fighting with my heart, unfortunately my brain was winning. I had all these consequences running through my brain. What if he just used me for sex? He was a musician. He knew that he could have any girl he wanted and I was probably just a play thing for the night.  He got what he wanted and I would never hear from him again. Did I want that? Even though I haven’t known him that long, I enjoyed spending time with him. He got on my nerves, and he still does, but I enjoyed being around him. I liked the way he laughed. His laugh was weird and cute at the same time. I liked how his eyes stared into your sole. He had gorgeous green eyes. He was so smart, too.

It seemed like he was an overall catch but I he was way too dangerous for me. He was in a rock band for one. He had tattoos. He sang and played music that mentioned Satanism. The most dangerous part of him was that he was utterly gorgeous and there was no way I could stay away. Why was he so damn pretty!

I decided that I needed to get out of there before he woke up. I didn’t want to deal with the awkward post sex talk. Granted, I’ve never had an awkward post sex encounter but I didn’t want to start now. I don’t think I ever had a regular morning after encounter. I’ve only had sex like four times, this making five, and I’ve always woken up by myself. That makes you feel really crappy. You think that you’ve spent the night with a great person and then you wake up alone and confused. Oh. That’s exactly what I was about to do.

I looked back at Nikki. Did I really want to leave him alone in bed after what happened between us? Would he be mad? Maybe he’d be cool with it. I’m such a terrible person!

I slowly removed myself from his grasp, trying my best not to wake him up. The poor guy had a vice grip on, I guess afraid that I would leave at some point. I basically crawled out of bed and landed on the floor with a light thud. I peered over the mattress to make sure the noise didn’t wake him. He was still sound asleep. The sheets that covered us were laying low on his stomach, making my heart race a bit. My new alter-ego, let’s call her Veronica, wanted nothing more than to pounce on him and replay last night all over again. After a couple of seconds, I decided that that coast was clear. I pulled my naked body off the ground and started looking for my clothes. The only article of clothing I could find was my romper. I had no idea where my underwear was and one of my shoe was missing. I quickly pulled on the romper and tried looking for the other shoe. Luckily, I found it near the bathroom door. I slipped on my sandals, trying not to look at myself in the mirror that just so happened to be in front of the bed. I looked at that plenty enough last night. My hair-tie was around my wrist, allowing me to pull my messy hair into an even messier bun. I grabbed my purse from the bedside chair and tip-toed out the bedroom door.

People were passed out everywhere.

Some people had all of their clothes on, while others were barely covered. There were alcohol bottles littered all over the floor, along with cigarette buds crushed into the carpet. I felt bad for whoever owned this house. I quickly made my way out the door and to the edge of the street. I remembered that the house was close to the strip. I made my way down the street, trying not pay attention to that passed me. You could definitely tell that I just had a one night stand. I didn’t have any undergarments on and my hair was piled on top of my head. My love bites, which had doubled, were on full display. The people that passed me probably thought I was a hooker or groupie. Was I a groupie? What exactly is a groupie? I’ll have to ask Mac when I get home; I’m sure she knows that answer to that.

Oh gosh, Mackenzie. Our conversation from last night flooded my memory. I could tell that she was mad at me for not answering her question. I can’t believe I lied to her. She’s my best friend. I shouldn’t have lied about what I did with Nikki. She would probably congratulate me for what I had done. I’m gonna have to call her when I get home. Maybe I should have stayed with Nikki. If I stayed, I wouldn’t be walking down the Sunset Strip in search of a taxi. What if there isn’t a taxi available this early? I didn’t even know what time it was? The sun was pretty high in the sky but I still couldn’t tell you the time. My dad tried to teach me all that wilderness stuff when I was younger but it never stuck. I was more interested in my Barbie dolls and helping my mom in the kitchen. “Taxi!”

After three failed attempts at haling a taxi, I finally made it back home. I immediately stripped out of my clothes and stepped into the shower. I allowed the hot water to wash away the sins that I had just committed. I didn’t realize how sore my body was until the hot water hit my skin. I also didn’t realize the extent of the love bites Nikki had left. They were everywhere! I had them on my neck, my chest, my hipbones, and my inner thighs. He just worked his way down, leaving his mark as he went. The ones of my neck were very noticeable and I had to be at work tomorrow. I never had to deal with a hickey before. I for sure didn’t know how to hide them from the world. How was I supposed to show up to my class tomorrow with bruises all over my neck? It’s like a bruise, right? Maybe I could say that the vacuum cleaner went rouge and attacked me. You’re so stupid, Caroline. The kids would probably believe that lie but their parents would not. Why did I let him do this to me? I could get fired for showing up with hickeys all over my body. I worked at a Christian school for goodness sake!

I removed myself from the shower, wrapping a towel around my body. I had a couple of errands to run today and I also need to speak to Mac. I knew that she was mad at me last night. I had every intention of talking to her last night but Nikki had other plans. I quickly dressed and allowed my hair to air dry. I made a list of the things I needed from the grocery store and headed out. My mind was going a mile a minute with the thoughts of last night and what exactly it all meant. I had sex with a guy I barely knew but my heart had feelings for the guy. Sure, he was obnoxious and into himself, but there was something intriguing about him. He had a mystery to him and I wanted to solve it and claim him as mine. Wow, never thought I would think that about a guy. Another thing that made me want him was that he was so not my type. From a scale from being my type to not being my type, Nikki was on another planet. My type was Earth and he was Pluto.  He was an unknown planet that held secrets and darkness that I needed to lighten. I wanted to be the sun to his dark little planet. Okay, that’s a bit weird…

NIKKI’S POV!

You know when you meet someone and they are unlike anyone you’ve ever met? Well, Caroline Daniels was that person to me. She was different from the girls that threw themselves at the band or even those that walked around on the strip. Hell, she was different from any girl that I’ve ever met in my life. She had a shyness about it but I could tell that she had a wild streak hiding somewhere. She was quirky and kind of nerdy, but in an adorable way. She was so fucking smart! She wasn’t like the airheads that Vince associated with. I think she ever said she was a teacher? I could have just made that part up but that’s beside the point. Caroline has been the only girl that’s made me chase after her. Most girls throw themselves on me as a dash and fuck. We fuck and then they dash away to the next member. I’ve had girls in my bed one minute and the next they are in Tommy’s. It was a revolving door of chicks that wanted to fuck us. With Caroline, I had to chase after her. I had to be the one that puts myself on the line and hope for the best. From the moment I saw her at the concert, I knew that she was the girl I needed to be with. I know that sounds super cheesy but it’s the truth. I remember the first time I saw her. My heart started to beat faster and my pants grew tighter than they had been. She defiantly had an effect on my dick, but her effect on my heart was more powerful. It kind of pissed me off that she walked out of the concert. We were killing it and she walks out like she’s uninterested. She must have been interested because I saw her return a few minutes later. Once I fully got a chase to see her at the restaurant, I knew that I was in love. (Cheesy moment again). I’m Nikki fucking Sixx, I’m not supposed to fall in love with girls. I’m a fucker, not a lover!

I tried to get Tommy to ask her friend what her address was so that I could see her. I thought maybe she would be excited but it seemed to piss her off. I thought she was gonna call the cops on my at one point. I think the true icing on the cake was when I convinced Tommy’s chick to invite her to dinner. I asked the girl to tell her that it would just be the two of them. I needed to talk to her and that was the only way I could get her alone without showing up at her place. She was pissed at first but she started letting her guard down. I guess I broke through enough because she showed up to the concert and we all know what happened after the show! Like I said, I barely know her, but I can’t get enough of her. I think I might even be in love with her…

I woke up the next morning expecting to find Caroline next to me. A smile formed on my face as I remember what had happened last night and into this morning. It was fast at first. We tore each other’s clothes off like a bunch of animals. I had her screaming my name so loud the people outside were cheering us on. I don’t even think we made it to the bed to be honest. I’m pretty sure I took her against the wall that first time. I think we christened the whole room. At one point, I remember fucking her on the dresser, that was amazing! We took a break here and there but the last time was special, at least I think so. It was slow and very intimate. The room was dark and quiet. It was just her and I. We had a connection that sent sparks throughout my body. It was the best sex I’ve ever had. I had every intention of taking her again this morning but she wasn’t here. To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. I was actually kind of pissed that she just left without saying goodbye. Granted, I probably wouldn’t have let her go, but she could have at least tried to say goodbye.

I slowly removed myself from the bed, stretching my sore muscles in the process. I pulled on my pants from last night, along with my boots, and made my way out to the main room. I didn’t bother putting my shirt back on as I stepped over the bodies of the party-goers. I made my way out the front door and over to my car, slipping my sunglasses on before starting the engine. I drove the distance to what I remembered was the location, trying my best not to get lost. Once I was sure this was the place, I parked the car, quickly pulling my discarded shirt back on, before heading up the metal staircase.

Apt #17 I knocked on the wooden door. I tried to listen for incoming footsteps but the traffic was making it hard to hear. I waited a couple more seconds before knocking again. Her curtains were closed so I could peep to see if she was just ignoring me. Hell, she could have been in her bedroom ignoring me for all I knew.

“She’s not home.” A male’s voice sounded. I turned my head to see an elderly man and woman leaving the apartment next to Caroline’s. “She left about 20 minutes ago.”

I cleared my throat, “Uh-“ I began. “Thanks.” I muttered.

The couple looked me over, disapproval flooding their eyes. “How do you know Caroline, son?” The man asked. His wife whispered to him not to interfere but he held up a hand to silence her. “Caroline’s a good girl. She doesn’t need a gutter rat such as yourself clouding her judgment.” I couldn’t help but laugh in his face. If he only knew how good a girl she actually was. He would be very surprised if I informed him of her actions yesterday and last night.

“Whatever, dude.” I muttered. I could tell the old man wanted to say something else, but I didn’t feel like hearing what he had to say. I sauntered away from the couple, making my way back to the car. I couldn’t help but laugh again at the comment the old guy said. It was no surprise to me that I was the opposite of Caroline. I was a gutter rat and a damn proud one too. Gutter rats know how to get shit done and don’t take shit from people…

Caroline’s POV

“He came to my house and my neighbors almost called the cops on him, Mac!” I exclaimed. “My poor neighbor hasn’t stopped checking on me since I got home.” I watched as Mac nearly chocked on her Chinese takeout. I had come home from grocery shopping and the next thing I know my neighbor is telling about the rude guy that was knocking on my door. I was concerned at first, but once he started explaining what he looked like I knew exactly who it was. From the jet black hair, unbuttoned shirt, and leather pants, I knew that it was none other than Nikki Sixx. I tried to explain to Walter and his wife, Maggie, that Nikki was just a friend and that they had no need to worry. Well, that didn’t exactly go as well as I would have hoped. Walter began to explain to me the dangers of being friends with a guy like Nikki. I would not only get into a lot of trouble but I could also be called not-so-nice names (his words, not mine). I assured him that I would be okay. I didn’t want to tell him that it was rude of him to interject himself into my business because that’s not the type of person I am. I respected him for looking out for me but I didn’t need another man like my father in my life. Michael Daniels was enough to handle.

“So what exactly happened between you and Nikki Sixx?” Mac asked, changing the subject. I knew she was wanting to know and I was going to have to tell her. I actually felt a bit embarrassed, to be honest. I used to criticize her for sleeping around with guys she barely knew, and now here I was doing the same thing. “Everything.” I muttered. “I let him-”I stopped, trying to find the right words. “I let him perform oral sex on me.” My eyes remained on my Lo Mein noodles as I waited for Mac’s response. After a couple of seconds of silence, I quickly peered up to see her smiling at me with her mouth wide open. “Why aren’t you saying anything?” I began to whine.

She instantly started to laugh, “You let Nikki Sixx go down on you?” My cheeks started to heat up as she laughed. “I can’t believe Caroline Vanessa Daniels got tongue fucked by Nikki Sixx!”

“Don’t say it like that, Mackenzie.” I groaned. I reached for the blanket that was resting on my couch and threw it over my head. Even though she said it in such a crass way, that’s exactly what happened. When my parents had the birds and bees talk with me, they never mentioned the use of tongue, not even when kissing. Like I had mentioned earlier, I found out about oral sex from Mac. Come to think of it, I found out a lot of stuff from Mac. All my parents told me about was when two people love each other, they get married, and THEN make love. I don’t even think I made love with Nikki. It was raw and wild, nothing like what my parents explained to me. I learned the Leave it to Beaver version from my parents and received the X-rated version from Nikki.

“You’re such a dork, Caroline.” Mac pulled the blanket from my head. “Okay, so, you had oral sex with Nikki. So, what?” She stated. “Did you have regular sex with him?” I stayed silent, giving her the answer. Another smile formed on her face, “I know this is gonna sound weird-” She began. “But I’m so proud of you for getting properly fucked.”

“Ugh!” I exclaimed. I quickly jumped up from the floor and started making my way to the kitchen. I hastily placed my bowl in the sink, Mac following close behind. “Caroline, it’s completely normal to have sex!” She exclaimed. “I had sex with Tommy the first night I met him. You’re 21 years old, that’s what we do.”

I turned to face her, “That’s not what I do. I don’t have sex with guys I barely know. Look how long it took Chris to get into my pants.”

“You don’t have sex with guys you barely know, but you do have sex with guys that you have feelings for, Caroline.” She spoke. “You and I both know that you have major feelings for Nikki, but you’re too scared to admit it.” I looked at her as if she had three heads. “Don’t look at me like that, you know I’m telling the truth. You want him, you need this man in your life.” Was she right? Every time I saw Nikki, my heart starts to flutter and I can’t help but smile. The heart fluttering could be some underlying medical condition, though. “I know what you’re doing, Caroline.” I looked at her. “You’re over analyzing everything and you’re gonna psych yourself out.” 
 I don’t know what came over me, but I just burst out crying. I dropped to the ground and just cried. I had no idea why I was crying, but huge tears were falling from my eyes. “Caroline!” Mac threw herself next to me, engulfing me in her arms. “You’re over analyzing.” She pressed her lips into my hair, gently rocking me, causing me to slowly calm down. “Just breath. It’s going to be okay.” I wiped the snot and tears that had formed on my sweatshirt. “I over analyzed.” I whimpered. “I couldn’t help it.”

Mac let out a chuckle, “You’ve been over analyzing things since I met you.” She pulled back a little. “Do you feel better, though? I mean, is your brain more clear to think?” I nodded my head, straightening up against the wooden cabinet.  I did feel slightly better after my cry-plosion. “Now-”Mac started. “You need to go find Nikki and tell him that you’re sorry for skipping out on him this morning. And-”She cut me off before I could speak. “Tell him how you really feel.” I looked at her, slowly nodding my head in agreement. I knew she was right but I was being way too stubborn. I may have said that I was done over analyzing everything but it was a lie. I was thinking about anything and everything that had to do with Nikki. What would people think of him? What would people think of me? How would my parents react to me being with someone like Nikki? How would his fans, especially the female ones, react to me being with him? Was I edgy enough to be with a guy like him? The answer to the edgy question was a big-fat NO! I still watched Saturday Morning Cartoons for goodness sake! I teach seven and eight year olds; I have to be down with the cartoons trends.

“You’re doing it again!” Mac shouted, causing me to nearly jump out of my skin. “Don’t fucking over analyze!” She was right. I needed to calm down and face the music. The next time I see Nikki, I’m gonna tell him how I feel. I’m gonna tell him that I have feelings for him and I want to be with him. Goodness, gracious, that sounds so dorky!

@triplehaitches @sighsophiia @fandomshit6000 @primal-screamer @lauravic @divaanya @jonesie32 @ithinkimhardcore @theabductionofpersephone @queen-introvert

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[ahiddenpath]

Therapy Talk

This is about as trite as it gets, but so far, therapy really has been a journey, and I guess I wanted to share my thoughts?  Sooooo read on if you’re interested in hearing about cognitive behavior therapy.

 The short version, because I’m sure some of you have read it before, is that all kinds of tough stuff has happened to me since 2017.  The job I started in January 2017 is demanding and stressful.  I was injured and more or less immobile for 10 weeks, there was a string of deaths in my family, I was a victim of credit fraud, it’s just been crappy.  When my grandmother passed in summer 2018, whatever was holding me together through everything else... snapped.

I stopped doing the things I enjoy and was perpetually exhausted.  My short term memory began to suffer, until I found myself throwing out dilutions and solutions I made at work over and over, because I couldn’t remember if I had added something to the mix just seconds before.  

There was no single event that pushed me to consider therapy.  A dear friend has been suggesting it for years because of my anxiety and my difficult childhood.  I thought it sounded like a good idea... but who has the time, right?  I wasn’t putting off therapy because of pride or money.  It just... didn’t seem important enough to warrant 90 minutes of my life with travel every other week.

I’d say that, so far, therapy has been a string of personal epiphanies.  The first was that I was finally ready to fight for a chance to start feeling better.  I think that, deep down, people who have the insurance/financial means for therapy aren’t avoiding it because of the time commitment.  I think people avoid it because they are aware that it will be difficult, and sometimes unpleasant.  Humans often deal with difficult memories and behaviors by ignoring or compartmentalizing them, and therapy shines a spotlight on our problems.  And once we’re aware of our damaging behaviors, we have to learn to correct them, which is about as fun as it sounds.

What I’m trying to say is that starting therapy and committing to doing the work my therapist suggested was a huge step.

The next thing I learned was that I have far more control over my emotions than I realized.  I’ve always thought of emotions as something that... just happen to you.  You choose what to do with them, but the emotion itself is beyond your control.  It turns out that this is only half true!  Basically, you can’t control that certain behaviors and situations elicit an emotional response from you, but you can control how long the emotional response lasts.

For example, let’s say that a coworker does something that causes me to feel anxiety and anger.  Before therapy, my brain would be... almost held hostage by those emotions.  I would lose focus and motivation at work, and then I would go home miserable, carrying those negative feelings with me.  I wouldn’t lash out or do anything destructive, but I’d carry those awful emotions for hours, souring entire days.

Through cognitive behavior therapy, I’ve learned to manage these situations.  In a scenario where a coworker upsets me, I’ll think: I’m feeling a strong emotion.  What is it?  Why am I feeling it?  What should I do with it?  Usually, the answer is to focus on my work and let it go.  I’ve also learned that, while we’re told to leave our home lives at home (ie, don’t snap at your coworkers because you fought with your spouse that morning), we’re rarely told to leave your work life at work (ie, don’t mope around the house because a coworker upset you).  Anyone who has learned to do the former can learn to do the latter, myself included.

Once you understand that you’re responsible for how long you hold on to your emotions and allow them to influence your behavior, the improvements start quickly.  I’m doing so much better with this, so I’m happier overall than I was before therapy.  The problem I’m having now is that continuously monitoring every strong emotion is exhausting.  My therapist keeps telling me that I have to pursue my hobbies- writing, reading, video games, singing, guitar, drawing, painting, playing with my cats, exercising.  She calls them my coping skills, the things that maintain my sanity and sense of self in the storm of work and all the crappy life stuff.

I won’t lie, I always thought that I was able to do those things because I’m hard working and diligent.  I didn’t think they were improving my mental health; I saw them as extra credit, things I managed to do despite having a full time job and social obligations.  But when life starting wringing me dry, I stopped engaging in them, and the mental stress started piling up.

The reason I’m writing this is because I’m starting to reach my third little epiphany.  Now that I’ve agreed to 1.) make myself vulnerable and do the work and 2.) manage my emotions, I’m ready to reclaim my coping skills.  I’m ready to stop allowing excuses like “I’m tired,” and “It’s been a long day.”  Exercise is the first thing I’ve tried to reclaim.  I’m also paying more attention to what I eat and cutting back on sugar.  After all, I can’t recover my energy if I don’t care for my body.  Sleep is another huge factor- late nights will kill your oomph the next day.  However, I’m the type that passes out if I try to stay up, so I’ve mostly been moving bedtime up half an hour XD

I started reading and editing the next two chapters of After August.  It hasn’t been much, but it’s a lot more than I have been doing.

What I really want to say with all of this is...  If you’ve spent years considering therapy and have the means to go...  Well, I haven’t been doing it long, and I already see improvement.  It’s not magic- you have to do a lot of difficult, uncomfortable work- and it’s not instantaneous.  But at this point, about three months in, I’m... optimistic that things will continue to improve.

And that, I think, is worth the time and the work.

[scoutception]

Fire Emblem Echoes:  Shadows of Valentia review: 3 steps forward, 3 steps back

The game that would really propel the Fire Emblem series to its long journey to the mainstream was actually the third: Mystery of the Emblem, on the SNES. Its success, however, overshadowed not just the original Shadow Dragon on the NES, but the second game, Fire Emblem Gaiden. While certainly not great, it was easily one of the most ambitious games on the NES, and the series as a whole, for that matter, yet despite that, it was left to rot in obscurity for decades, with only occasional acknowledgements that it even existed. And then, in 2017, a rather unexpected remake released, finally giving it a chance in the limelight, and, well, it certainly left an impression. What kind of impression, we’ll be seeing right now.

Story:

Shadows of Valentia takes place on the continent of, well, Valentia, a smaller continent neighboring Archanea, the setting of Shadow Dragon. Valentia is divided into two kingdoms: Zofia, in the south, founded by the Divine Dragon Mila, who has given her people constant prosperity with rich lands, while the north is ruled by Rigel, founded by Mila’s brother, Duma, who has taken a much rougher approach to his people, making them strong and proud. Both dragons originally lived on Archanea before being exiled by Naga, and were unable to reconcile their ideological differences when they first settled on Valentia. Unfortunately with time, their ideologies have only grown more and more extreme, affecting their people as well: Zofia’s people have grown slovenly and hedonistic, its royalty especially, while Rigel’s people have become much colder. Eventually, Rigel’s emperor, Rudolf, gains designs to take Zofia for himself.

The story, rather uniquely for the series, follows two main protagonists: Alm, a commoner from Ram Village in Zofia raised and trained by his grandfather, the great knight Mycen, and Celica, the last heir to Zofia, on the run from the ambitious chancellor Desaix, who has assassinated all the other children of the current king, Lima IV. Initially hidden in Ram by Mycen, Celica befriends Alm, only for Mycen to be forced to take her away to a priory on the island of Novis after she is discovered by Desaix’s men. 4 years later, Zofia is not doing well, suffering from a horrible drought, caused by Mila seemingly disappearing, and to make matters worse, Desaix makes his move and kills the king, taking over the kingdom and selling out to Rigel. However, a small group called the Deliverance, led by the knight Clive, fight Desaix’s rule, sending one of their members, Lukas, to Ram to recruit Mycen. After Mycen refuses, however, Alm volunteers in his stead, and accompanied by several of his childhood friends, sets out to join up with Clive and defeat Desaix and Rigel. Meanwhile, Celica leaves the priory with a few companions to investigate Mila’s disappearance, unknowingly becoming the target of Jedah, head priest of the Duma Faithful, who has plans of his own, separate from Rudolf.

While it does come with its own fair share of creative twists and turns, the story itself isn’t the highlight of the writing, not helped by some overly heavy foreshadowing of said twists. The real strength comes from the cast of characters. Shadows of Valentia has some of the best written characters in the franchise. Both Alm and Celica are fantastic protagonists, with Alm being fairly straightfoward, yet refreshingly and likeably so in comparison to so many others in the game, while Celica is much more complicated and troubled, falling victim to Jedah’s manipulations and her own hidden selfishness, yet still firmly committed to doing what she thinks is right, making for one of the most unique protagonists in the franchise. The side characters don’t disappoint either, helped immensely by certain mandatory characters appearing in scenes past their recruitment, as long as you keep them alive, giving them a lot of presence. From the proud and loyal Gray, to the grounded but kind and playful Tobin, to the spoiled yet willing to grow noble Clair on Alm’s side, to the overly serious and near cowardly Boey, to the extremely energetic, boisterous, but altogether sweet, if prone to bickering Mae, to the cynical, yet influenceable Saber, they alone add so much to the story, helped by having support conversations. The villains aren’t lacking either, with Jedah being sinister and cruel, yet genuinely wishing to do Valentia well, if through the warped mindset of Duma’s extremist teachings, to Slayde, the hilariously scummy and hammy henchman to Desaix, to, most notably, Berkut, the nephew of Rudolf, who, despite not being a nice person at all, is all the same sympathetic and troubled, shaped and damaged by awful circumstances, and is altogether one of the highlights of the game, period. Unfotunately, I can’t say the cast as a whole holds up so well. Despite some of its massive successes, many other characters are near completely neglected, with very limited interactions and points beyond just being more units, and while none of them can really be called flat, all of them having supports and conversations within towns to give better personal insights to them, it only helps so much, and unfortunately, this is the fate of the majority of the cast, not helped by the supports themselves being short and aimless most of the time, though some benefit from being featured in memory prisms, items that can be found that can be viewed for scenes taking place in their backstories. Still, what is there helps make SOV’s story one of the most emotional in Fire Emblem, capping off with a fantastic climax and epilogue.

The connections to Shadow Dragon is also something that should be mentioned. Valentia being near Archanea isn’t just a fun little fact that never gets expanded on; 3 of Celica’s units are actually Palla, Catria, and Est, the pegasus sisters from Shadow Dragon, and Alm recruits a man named Zeke, who is actually Camus, a major boss character from Shadow Dragon who was presumed dead, yet actually washed up on Valentia’s shores. This kind of continuity is fascinating, especially considering it was all present in the original, too, and set up Mystery for even more surprisingly detailed world building, Camus’ circumstances in particular having a large impact on the story.

Gameplay:

Fire Emblem Gaiden was considered the oddball of the series for a long time, and, to be frank, SOV doesn’t do much to change that perception. While the core gameplay is there, ie it’s still a turn based strategy game about controlling unique units and such, many mechanics are added or changed, some for the better, some for the very worse. For the better, firstly, there’s a world map system that has you physically moving between locations instead of automatically progressing to the next battle. Aside from locations containing battles, there’s also dungeons, which I’ll cover in a bit, and towns, or similar locations, where you’re allowed to talk to your units or other NPCs, or even recruit people, pick up items and examine other random stuff, and in general just take a little break before resuming your journey. It’s a small thing, but it genuinely does help the pace. Some NPCs also give side quests, of all things. Most of them consist of giving them items or killing a certain number of enemies, and the rewards aren’t always great, but it’s a good addition all the same. Another major addition is Mila’s Turnwheel, which can be used in battle to turn back time to an earlier point if, for instance, you screwed up and got a unit killed. It has a limited number of uses that can be raised by finding cogs throughout the game, and while it may seem a bit questionable in a strategy series, it is a very appreciated addition, especially due to the extra rampant amount of RNG present in certain aspects, and in general, allows you to learn from mistakes without having to redo absolutely everything.

Yet another major addition is combat arts, special techniques unlocked from having a unit use a certain weapon enough in battle. They range from simply being more accurate or raising their evasion to extremely powerful moves for Alm and Celica. While most are rather situational, it’s a very good concept in theory. And, if having to use a weapon a lot of times seems questionable due to durability, the good news is that durability is completely gone from SOV. No matter how many times you use a weapon, it’ll never break, and you don’t even need a specific weapon in your inventory, since otherwise everyone will just use generic, featureless ones. The downside is that A. equipment is much, much harder to come buy, with no armories existing, and B. the inventory system in general got overhauled, only allowing everyone to carry one item at a time, whether it be a weapon, a shield, food, or whatever else. The magic system is also vastly overhauled: instead of using tomes to attack, mages have specific spells that they cast using their HP. Every mage has a unique list of spells they can access, with properties such as a high crit rate, being able to hit from 3 spaces away instead of 2, or just being really, really powerful. This is, in my opinion, the most enjoyable change, making them much more unique than before. Clerics are also affected by this, having different healing spells and even gaining a few attack spells. On another note, instead of using items, units promote at Mila statues, usually in dungeons or a few special other locations, allowing everyone a chance to keep up rather than having to sacrifice some just because of limited resources. Classes also have three tiers instead of two, allowing a steady, more consistent progression, and you can deploy all your available units at any time during normal story battles. Another change to the classes comes with the archers, who are able to attack from much farther away, allowing them to work much better as the support attackers they’re meant to be, and even if worst comes to worst, they can attack at melee range too. There’s also a skill system, conferring a few class bonuses, such as healing adjacent units or halving magic damage. Finally, the story is rather uniquely divided into 5 acts, they’re called. The first two follow Alm and Celica, respectively, at the beginning of their journeys, and are more or less extended tutorials on various things, but acts 3 and 4 put both of them in your control, allowing you to progress with them individually. While Celica’s path is certainly less enjoyable than Alm’s just in what she has to face, it’s another addition that helps the pace, letting you choose just when to face stuff.

As for the bad stuff, there’s quite a bit to cover, unfortunately. Mostly prominently to me, dungeons. In dungeons, you wander around with free movement as your lord, collecting items, whether in treasure chests or via destroying stuff like crates and pots, and getting into encounters represented by enemies roaming around the area. If they see or hear you, they will give chase. While they’re annoying to avoid, the real bad part is that every encounter just puts you on one featureless map per dungeon. The enemies are rarely actual threats, and dungeons can actually be used to level grind, though a bit more on that in a bit, but it’s so utterly dull that dungeons quickly become a slog, regardless of their rewards. There aren’t too many of them, and all are technically optional, but act 5 takes place entirely in a long and tedious dungeon, making for a very disappointing final chapter. Plus, you can only ever bring 10 units at max into dungeons, which makes traversing and leveling even more repetitive. Unfortunately, the rest of the map design isn’t much better, even in story battles. While Shadow Dragon’s maps weren’t great, they were at least more distinct. SOV’s maps are, for the most part, very large and very barren, with enemies just being bunched up ready to charge at you, most of your units don’t have great movement to begin with, making it pretty repetitive. The maps that are more distinct are almost even worse, being set up to hinder you in any way they can, whether it be archers behind walls constantly pestering you or poison swamps that restrict your movement and damage you. Celica in particular has to deal with several maps of desert, which vastly decreases the movement of any unit that isn’t a pegasus knight, including mages, who are normally free of that restriction, and poison swamps. Additionally, since the game doesn’t go by the usual Fire Emblem chapter system, battles mostly come in smaller scale things, with less enemies. Notable setpieces are pretty rare, and occur more towards the end of the game. This does not help much, and makes a lot of battles rather disposable.

Another big damaging factor is the unit and class balancing. SOV has by far one of, if not the smallest cast in the series, featuring only 34 units total, with Alm and Celica getting 17 each. Unfortunately, the game is not properly tuned for such a small cast. Growth rates are very low all around, making 1 point level ups common, and through these bad growths or other factors, many units end up bad very easily. Some of the most infamous are Clive, a cavalier with awful growths in skill and speed, making him good as a very temporary crutch at best, Luthier, a mage who only tends to get a lot of skill, and little else, and Boey, a mage who leans towards a bizarre defensive focused approach over offense, which, in my experience, he fails at doing well regardless. While there are certainly some very powerful characters, such as the cavalier Mathilda, the mage Mae, and the three pegasus sisters, they’re pretty few and far between, barring absurd luck, making your most reliable units your lords, who are downright broken compared to the cast’s usual standards, Alm especially easily being able to solo much of the endgame. Classes aren’t well balanced either, especially with the map design in place. While mages and archers work quite well, with mages being balanced by their varying spell lists and the HP costs, and archers not having great actual attack power and needing a lot of skill to hit accurately balancing their insane range, everyone else tends to have some sort of problem. Knights tend to have a bad rap for the whole series, but they especially suffer in this from their low movement making it very hard for them to keep up in these large maps, and being extremely vulnerable to magic, along with the available units not being very good regardless. By contrast, mercenaries are downright overpowered, easily gaining a lot of attack and speed, and ultimately promoting into dread fighters, who can easily power through magic like nobody else can. The class distribution is also pretty bad. Alm gets several cavaliers and knights, but only two mages, one of which is the aforementioned Luthier, and no mercenaries by default. By contrast, Celica gets 3 mages and mercenaries, and up to 4 of one of them due to a choice of units, and 3 pegasus knights, but no cavaliers until act 4 and only one cleric. The pacing on getting them is rather questionable too, with Alm’s mages not being available until act 3, along with the cavalier example. Units also slow down on gaining EXP quite fast and quite hard, making leveling them extremely annoying, especially knowing great results aren’t going to be common.

To move onto smaller, but still notable annoyances, one unique mechanic is the villager class, the premier example, to me, of Gaiden’s ambition, and the limitations it was held back by. You see, Alm’s friends from Ram village, the 4 of them, that join him aren’t trained for combat like Alm or Lukas, and thus start in what is more or less a tier 0 class. They’re weak, but can promote starting at level 3, and actually have a choice of what to promote into. In theory, this gives them a lot of flexibility in what roles to fill. In practice, they aren’t balanced at this for all. Gray and Tobin in particular do awful in pretty much anything, and while Kliff is more flexible, he only has so much. The one exception is Faye, who was actually added in the remake specifically, having generalized growths that allow her to do well in pretty much any class, helped by having a different set available to her than everyone else. Still, as a whole, this is a badly balanced mechanic that can easily make Alm’s side way more difficult than intended, if you don’t follow the general recommendations on what to do with them. The kicker is, Celica gets a villager too, Atlas, with his main difference being coming in at act 3, compared to act 1, with growths even worse than the others, and most of his options either being heavily contested or just plain terrible for him. Another annoyance is enemies being spawned on the world map by set encounters that move and force you into a battle if you come into contact with them. This continues to happen every few turns, even for the army you aren’t controlling, and is really unnecessary. Speaking of enemies, there are some extremely irritating ones to be found, most notably the cantors and the witches. Cantors constantly summon monsters in great numbers that, while weak and really no real threat, come in such a steady stream, and often with huge ranges, make progression a slog. Witches, on the other hand, are a completely different matter. One similarity SOV has with Shadow Dragon is the abysmal resistance bases and growths, being single digit at best for both. Problem is, witches are magic attackers that not only have decent speed and more than enough power to ruin your day, but have a skill that can only be described as spiteful:, they can teleport anywhere on that map at any time, with no restrictions. Yes, the extremely dangerous units are able to just fly right next to you if you if they feel like it, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Oh, and there’s even bosses late in the game that summon witches like cantors. Have fun. There’s also no weapons triangle, and in fact, none of your units are capable of using axes, which makes things a bit duller.

Finally, there’s also a forging system added, allowing you to improve the stats of your weapons, or even forge them into superior weapons. While a nice idea in concept, it’s quite difficult to take advantage of it due to the currency system. There are two types of currency: silver marks, mainly used for more normal weapons, and gold marks, used for stronger stuff. Problem is, it’s very difficult to accumulate. You need quite a lot of silver marks to accomplish anything notable, and your main source is slowly grinding them in dungeons, usually coming in drops of one, with a few bags containing more rarely coming up. Additionally, gold marks cannot be acquired outside of a few set rewards and a very specific spot in a certain dungeon, which only gives them very rarely anyway, with the only method of getting them otherwise being converting 500 silver marks into one gold. It’s just a miserably grindy mechanic you’re more than free to ignore just to save yourself an additional headache.

Overall, a lot of SOV’s mechanics feel completely experimental. Most of what was introduced with Gaiden was completely forgotten about by the rest of the series, other than the world map though thankfully Three Houses has taken notes from some of the better received mechanics. While I can’t say it doesn’t make for an interesting game, though, SOV’s gimmicks just make it a slog overall.

Graphics:

SOV is a very pleasing game to look at. Every character has a distinct design, with the artstyle especially being downright beautiful for portraits. Class designs are also quite interesting, with a nice progression with each tier. The main attraction, though, is the battle animations. Every class comes with smooth and entertaining animations that, to me, never get tiring to watch. Whether it be counterattacking after a weak enemy blow or overly fancy crit animation, it makes for some of the best looking battles in the series. The models are also quite good, though the faces can look a bit creepy. It’s overall a very good improvement on the other 3DS titles.

Sound:

The soundtrack for SOV is easily one of the best in the series. Gaiden had some very advanced music for the NES to begin with, but SOV gives them downright amazing remixes, with some of the big highlights being with Mila’s Divine Protection, Celica’s initial map theme, the Sacrifice and the Saint, Celica’s act 4 map theme, and A Song for Bygone Days, the act 4 world map theme. It also adds several original pieces that are just as, if not superior, with my favorites being Lord of a Dead Empire, for the map containing the fight against emperor Rudolf, and the Scion’s Dance in Purgatory, Berkut’s final boss theme. SOV also comes with an amazing English voice acting dub, helped by all the dialogue being fully voiced, instead of only having short voice clips or a few voiced animated cutscenes. While a lot of the minor NPCs sound fairly ridiculous, the units all sound fantastic, special note going to the major ones, Kyle McCarley as Alm, Erica Lindbeck as Celica, Max Mittelman as Gray, Robbie Daymond as Tobin, Alexis Tipton as Clair, Chris Hackney as Boey, Cherami Leigh as Mae, and Keith Silverstein as Saber. Some of the better more minor units are Christine Marie Cabanos as Delthea, Doug Erholtz as Python, Alexis Tipton as Palla, Connor Kelly-Eiding as Catria, Brianna Knickerbocker as Est, and Mick Wingert as Jesse. The major antagonists are also great, with Richard Epcar giving a great performance as Jedah, Christopher Corey Smith hamming it up with Slayde the whole time, making him very entertaining whenever he shows up while not overshadowing how vile he is, and especially Ian Sinclair as Berkut portraying his gradual downfall perfectly every step of the way. All in all, the voice acting shows just how far Nintendo’s dubs has improved, and the soundtrack provides something I could listen to for hours.

DLC:

Here comes a new category on these reviews. I’ll also be taking a look at downloadable content offered by games with them, assuming there’s any notable, and assuming I even care to try them. SOV, unfortunately, does not have a lot going for it. It’s mainly stuff for easy EXP and money grinding, extra scummy considering how difficult those are to do normally, compared to Awakening and Fates, and additionally, there’s item grinding DLC, giving you easy access to grind for normally limited equipment to your heart’s content, including items exclusive to the DLC, astral shards, that boost growth rates of units that hold them. Other than a few free things that are just free items, though, there’s two notable packs that are worth a more detailed look.

The first is the Cipher Legends DLC, about, of all things, Fire Emblem Cipher, the Fire Emblem card game exclusive to Japan. Despite having almost no context for this, it was localized all the same. It adds 4 units originating from Cipher as units: Emma, an extremely energetic pegasus knight in training, Randal, a sleazy paladin with a bad gambling habit, Yuzu, a priestess dedicated to training, and pretty much never learned how to be social, and Shade, a saint who tries to seem cool and collected, but is prone to panicking easy. Despite seeming like a joke, they’re actually surprisingly detailed, showing a lot of personality and even coming with town conversations and supports with each other. The supports, I must mention, are the highlight of it all. They are massively improved over what’s included in the base game, being much longer and containing obvious subjects and conclusions. As far as their practicality as units, though, while they can certainly help a lot early on, and have a lot of room to grow, they aren’t quite overpowered. The DLC is split into two parts, the first involving protecting Randal from mercenaries with Emma’s help, while the second involves helping Yuzu free Shade after she’s brainwashed. They aren’t very difficult, and be cleared pretty quick, but they’re pretty fun. All in all, nowhere near essential, but a decent little pack all the same.

The second, and most notable to me, is the Rise of the Deliverance pack, a series of 4 maps taking place before the events of act 1, focusing on the various members of the Deliverance, including Fernand, who is otherwise an unplayable villain in the main story. What makes these unique are that they are very set scenarios; everything you have to work with is set, including the units, their stats, and their items, and rather than simply wiping out the enemy or defeating the boss, the only objectives of the main maps, each has a unique objective.  The first map has you take control of Clive and Fernand saving Slayde, who is still nominally allied with them, from a merchant uprising, having to protect him and rout the mercenaries hired by the merchants. While probably the least notable of all, it’s notable for allowing you control of a few generic units. The second map has Lukas, Python, and Forsyth having to attack a fort and free some of their allies and then escape. The third has Clair and Mathilda trying to escape from a ruin filled with monsters, with Clair possessing a ring that nullifies magic attacks, while Mathilda has a blessed lance effective against the monsters, forcing you to weigh their defensive and offensive capabilities while making as much progress as you can. The fourth and final has you defending Zofia castle with every member of the Deliverance, including Fernand, against Slayde, after Desaix has killed the king. Beating these maps grant items and even additional support conversations with Python, Forsyth, Lukas, Clive, Clair, and Mathilda, all of which are much better than the base game supports, like with the Cipher DLC, and additional memory prisms. While even the individual pack is a bit too expensive for my liking, this is best the DLC has to offer. If you had to get something from it, this would be my recommendation, by far. The alternate chapter goals and fast pace give them a quality surpassing the normal game, in my opinion, and my only real complaint is that I wish there were more of them.

Conclusion:

Ultimately, whether or not I’d recommend this game comes from how much you can tolerate gameplay that isn’t very well designed in exchange for great writing, music, and other aspects. If you can get over the bumps in the road, I would give this a somewhat cautious recommended. I’ve still had a decent amount of fun with the gameplay, and it’s a fantastic showing on aspects otherwise. If you can’t quite ignore that, however, it’s not recommended. With that, I’m (finally) done here. Till next time.

-Scout

[yourjughead]

Shadow

Reader x Sweet Pea x Little Did You Know ~ Alex & Sierra songfic

Warnings: death//grieving, fluff

A//N: it feels so nice to have something to post for you guys, thanks for supporting me on my little histus. I'm glad I had the energy to write something for you cuties even if your don't like it. My love always.

-----------------------------------------

“C’mon ynn please stay”

“Pea, I'm not having this conversation again, please let me pack, I have to go with him” he stalked you closely around the room like a shadow, not wanting to be ever more than a few centimeters from you.

“You don't have to go yn”

“Yes I do pea, he's my fiancee and the army want him to move for training, we've been through this” you packed your stuff as he unpacked your stuff.

“Just, just stay with me” he grabbed both your wrists from the duffle bag and held them to his chest, his voice desperate to match his eyes.

“Sweet Pea” his eyes shifted from your mouth to your eyes as you breathed his name.

“Please ynn we could be together again we coul-”

“Pea. Stop. Please” you began to slip your wrists from his grip as it seemed your heart was enduring the heartbreak from a few years ago all over again.

“i know I can't make you forgive me for what I did and i hate myself for what I did to you more than you know, please believe me, I don't want you to go. I still love you” he searched your eyes as they brimmed with tears, a lump in your throat. You completely pulled your hands from his grasp, still holding eye contact.

“I love him Sweet Pea, I do and I'm going to go with him wherever that may be. I just can't forget what you did even if I've forgiven you. I need to move on and so do you” the threatening tear committed it's offense and ran streaming down your cheek. There was nothing left to be said between you both so he left, once again Sweet Pea left you hurting in your trailer as the sound of your fiancees ignition outside the trailer hummed and stopped.

~

5 years later.

Riverdale hadn't changed much, few new buildings, faster cars, same charm. The south was still forever at war with its northern counterpart. Not much had changed, well except a few things.

Sweet Pea allowed the energy in the Whyte Wyrm to course through his veins, he let it consume him, thrive in him, become him. He was the Serpents, they were him, it comes with the territory of being the leader, all he's ever wanted. Well, almost everything.

You stepped into the musty bar, suitcase in hand, scarf in the other. The commotion continued around you uninterrupted until Toni ran at your side, arms spread, capturing your frail stature in her arms.

“Yn! I'm so happy you're home!” She pulled her face from your chest to meet your seemingly forever sad eyes with a smile. It faded away immediately.

“And such unfortunate circumstances that land you here, I'm sorry for your loss ynn, he was a great soldier and even better man” you swallowed hard at the familiar tone of sympathy tinged with pity. You nodded in thanks for her condolences. It's all you could do at this stage. Every form of solace from others just accumulated in a ball of half hearted commiseration from those who would never understand. You felt eyes burn into the side of your head, turning to see they belonged to Sweet Pea, you gave a small smile and he returned a nod, taking a drag from his beer across the way.

The night continued and you had counted 56 of your former almost family to come up and sympathise with you. You ran away to Riverdale to escape this and now found yourself in the thick of it. It was at number 58 that you couldn't take it anymore. You abruptly stood from your stool and bolted from the bar to the outside. Toni went to follow, Sweet Pea signaling for her to stay sat, he would be the one to help you even if he hadn't spoken to you since you left.

You were pounding the pavement as the rain took its own shots at you, the street light only just able to cut though the sheets of water. You weren't sure where you were going, your trailer long sold and the majority of your old friends were in the bar you just escaped. You didn't find yourself crying either, you had almost run out of tears at this stage.

A light grew alongside you as it made it's attempt to slice through the rain. It slowed next to you, gaining your attention. You grew up here, well aware you were walking alone in an gangland so naturally you were ready to defend yourself from your shadow.

“Yn, come on it's pouring” Sweet Pea held out a helmet with a shaky hand, water cascading his own viser. Your arms were wrapped around your drenched body, your clothes now more water than fabric at this stage. Your equally shaky hand took it from him, slipping it on over your dripping hair, droplets racing down your spine. You cautiously wrapped your arms around him and yet you both seemed to slot into each other as he launched into the night in the direction of his trailer.

You stood shyly by the front door of a trailer you never thought you'd ever grace again. Sweet Pea hadn't really spoken yet, only searching for dry clothing for you. You shouldn't have stormed off... or at least you shouldn't have stormed off without your things.

“So, things are going well?” You finally broke the silence as a picture of Sweet Pea surrounded by his chosen family framed on the walk caught your eye. You smiled at it, a family you probably should have stayed with.

“Yeah, I uh kind of threw myself into my work when you left and I'm now kind of the boss” you shuddered at the thought of what that meant, choosing to ignore it.

“Wow everything you've ever wanted”

“Yeah..I guess” that was a lie for your benefit, he was handing the thing he always wanted a shirt to sleep in. The Serpents were a distraction from your absence, he'd never admit that to them though.

He sat on his bed while you changed in the adjacent bathroom. His old t-shirt drowning you in fabric and scents of pure Sweet Pea.

He buried his smirk at the sight of you in his clothes again when you reappeared in the doorway. He stood from the bed, pulling back half the covers for you to slot in.

“Good night Ynn, I'll be on the couch if you need me” panic ran through you at the sight of a double bed with an empty half. It had been 6 months since you lost your husband and since you slept on the floor of your bedroom, just to escape the feeling of absence alongside you.

“Umm you can just sleep next to me, it's okay”

“Emm alright, if you're sure” you weren't but it would be better than seeing your shadow reflect off the empty space. You both laid flat on your back, staring at the ceiling like it was the most fascinating thing ever.

“He was a good guy ynn, I'm glad to have known him” even though your husband was a divisive point in your relationship with Sweet Pea, they did like each other briefly. They were friends before he fell for you and Sweet Pea messed up. You sighed lightly in response, rolling into Sweet Peas side enjoying not being alone for once. He turned to you and held you in closer, missing this feeling.

For the next three month you lived like this, slipping back into an old life that made you happy and then guilty for doing so. You just felt calm and peaceful around Sweet Pea, the demons of a traumatic loss being kept at bay. You continued to live together, still sharing a bed and not really talking about it, Sweet Pea even reducing his Serpent hours just to be around you more. You weren't quite ready to delve into that world again and he knew it. You still spent some nights breaking while he was fast asleep though, the guilt of being near him still rang strong in you. You were just trying to pick yourself up piece by piece and he just sped up the process. Your eyes were no longer forever seemingly sad and finally one night Sweet Pea cracked when he felt your tears on his chest as you were cuddled into each other in the middle of the night.

“Shhh ynn-ie what wrong honey?”

“N-nothing Pea”

“Yn I know you're hurting and I can't fix it despite how much I want to and that all my mistakes are slowly drowning me and I will do anything and everything to fix them. I love you and I want you to know that I always will and you can trust me” he gently and cautiously kissed the top of your head, the first kind of contact of that variety in more than 5 years.

“Pea, I can't tell you” it was a shaky whisper at best.

“Yes you can, please”

“I-I'm still haunted by the memories, underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside and I know you love me and it hurts me that I can't say it back but I can't, not-not right now, I need more time” he sat up as you pulled from him, the all too familiar feeling of you slipping from his grasp all over again.

“Yn, I will wait for you forever, I will be just your friend forever if that's what you're comfortable with. I promise you don't have to be afraid.

I'll wait. The love is here and here to stay no matter what form it's in” he pulled you into his chest and you clung to him.

“I'm trying to make it better piece by piece. I know I'll never be Him and I'm not going to try to be. I just want you to know because even though I've said it you really can't even comprehend how much I love you. I love you 'til the sun dies and forever after that and you don't m need to say it back, it's okay, it'll be okay ” he felt your heart rate slow and your warm breath against him, guilt drained you and you couldn't have felt more at peace in the moment.

“I miss him Pea”

“I know sweetie”

“I missed you too” he kissed the top of your head again before feeling you drift off against him, no longer able to fight the emotional exhaustion.

In the time that followed you and Sweet Pea slowly began to melt together once again, becoming more, how it should have been. You slotted seamlessly back into the world of the Serpents, you slotted back into the shadow of yourself and you were happy, still in love with someone that would never be there again but also falling for someone who always would.

---------------------------------

Xx

[dogtrainingscoop]

How did your dog react when you took them home for the first time?

Author: Vernon Mclean

We finally took the first step: we got our own puppy! "My first dog (and best friend) was Rex, a sweet, playful pup. I knew it would be labor intensive and a big obligation, but that “holy crap” feeling I had when I first picked him up was just a subtle hum of the screaming siren of uneasiness I’ve come to know a few moments after.

When we prepared his crate for him, my son tied his leash to the leg of a chair, he did not like it to sit still and tried to get up and run towards a ball or something, and the next thing TERRIFIED to find that the chair was CHASING HIM:)

How did your dog react when you took them home for the first time?

Anyway I’m including some photos of his first day,,,, Tanya Gorelova took these photos:)

After a long day, My Best, most gentle and patient dog I've ever met…

The Famous Chair...

The Famous Ball…..

Getting into trouble

Doing the right thing:)

Anyway, I’ve learned some things and also managed to put together a few important points to take note of….

If you are thinking of bringing a puppy into your home, you may have encountered these questions: how old should a puppy be when you pick it up and what will you do with it before it receives all vaccines against infectious diseases?

If you are buying a dog, do not take it before it is 8 weeks old

For starters, as a partial answer to the first question, clearly and loudly: if you are buying a dog, don’t let the breeder (in this case it should be written in quotes) force you to take the puppy home before he is 8 weeks old. And don't be fooled, so in the desire to get cheaper, take the dog from someone who just "punches" the dog and does not care at all about the welfare of these animals.

The calculation is very clear here:

When they are 4-5 weeks old, puppies become much more physically and financially demanding, so a person who sells dogs just for the sake of making money then eventually wants to get rid of increasingly demanding puppies.

However, puppies that are prematurely separated from their mother and the rest of the litter, as adult dogs, show much more (serious) behavioral problems than puppies that remain with their mother and siblings for at least 8 weeks and in a crucial period of socialization seen lasts up to 4 months of age) were properly socialized . This is shown by many researches conducted at world scientific institutions.

What if you decide to adopt an abandoned or discarded puppy?

If you have decided to adopt a dog from a shelter or save a puppy found abandoned and thrown on the road, it is a very commendable gesture and you should not be discouraged by not knowing how this puppy spent the earliest months of life, but you should definitely leave as soon as possible to some organized form of dog training (for example to some quality individual or group course).

Don't wait for a "suitable" moment because the right moment is exactly when you brought the dog home. The longer you wait, even if there are no behavioral problems at first, the harder it will be to solve the problems once they arise.

And what about vaccines?

You’ve probably heard from someone before (probably your vet) that a puppy should be in isolation from other dogs and the outside world until it receives all the vaccines against infectious canine diseases (i.e., by about 4-5 months of age).

You definitely need to be careful where you take your puppy, but it is by no means good to keep him in isolation from all living beings, all experiences and stimuli. Infectious canine diseases are often deadly and unfortunately are very common in some areas. But keep this in mind: your puppy will not receive all the vaccines until he is about 4 months old. If you wait until then, the opportunity to socialize your dog properly will already be missed.

And not only that: according to the American Veterinary Society for Animal Behavior (AVSAB), behavioral problems, not contagious canine diseases, are the leading cause of death in dogs under 3 years of age ! (This refers to the fact that in the U.S., more dogs are killed each year due to behavioral problems than are killed by infectious canine diseases). The same veterinary society recommends that dogs be introduced to new places, people and other dogs before receiving all vaccines against infectious canine diseases (ie, puppy owners are advised not to keep puppies in isolation from the outside world while receiving these vaccines).

What does all this actually mean for puppy owners?

It means you need to be careful where you take your puppy before he receives all the vaccines, but not that you need to keep him locked up in the house. For example, going to dog parks, pet stores, and other places where a lot of dogs come that we don’t know if they’re vaccinated and if they’re healthy is not a good idea. Instead, get your puppy used to driving with you in the car; introduce him to many children and adults; take him to hang out with friends who have healthy, vaccinated dogs and other pets accustomed to dogs; go with him to the mall (at a time when it is not crowded); walk with him around in your backyard; enter a course for puppies in a verified place that you know is safe for puppies, etc. But always make sure that all these experiences for your puppy are positive experiences. Proper socialization of a dog is a pleasant experience, not something that will traumatize him for the rest of his life.

Either way, don’t wait for the dog to cross the 16-week limit to start socializing, because you’re already very late by then. In the case of proper early socialization, time plays a key role. Also see more Interesting Articles: Here

Don’t make these 15 Mistakes with your New Puppy:

1. DON'T LET your puppy eat when he wants to

There is a very fine line between new puppies to make them feel comfortable at home with you and let them do whatever they want and get into bad habits and one of the main pitfalls to avoid this view concerns food.

Food and food are arguably the biggest motivators when it comes to dogs and can help you achieve everything from successful training to encouraging a shy dog out of its shell to help your puppy commit to you. . a coin to buy your puppy happiness is a big but also easy to make mistake!

Your puppy should have reliable feeding hours with his food divided into appropriate portions and the food should be measured for them just every day. You should also work on calculating how much fun your dog can have in a day - taking into account both the calories and the value of the reward.

Bribing your puppy with too many treatments or providing food wherever they ask will not only make your life more difficult, but it will also make your puppy worse.

2. Delay in training

You are probably already thinking about training your puppy and how it will work when you first bring it home - but training a dog is not like sending a child to school for the first time and is not something that has to start at a set time. and on a set date! The training should start from the first day your puppy comes home - not from picking them up in a class or field and performing them through exercises, but in terms of letting them know what they are and are not you are also allowed to correct your puppy to praise them appropriately as they begin to learn.

3. Do not spend enough time around other dogs

An astonishing number of new puppy owners may be reluctant to encourage their puppies to socialize with other dogs as much as they really should, believing the puppy is too small, too small, or the other dogs are too big and noisy and thus a potential danger to your puppy.

However, once your puppy pulls out the eighth after vaccinations, you should start taking precautionary measures to allow them to meet and communicate with other dogs at every possible opportunity and try to ensure that this is a good mix of different dogs that include many chances to meet strange dogs.

Puppies learn as much, if not more, from other dogs as they do from humans, and avoiding socializing is one of the biggest mistakes a new puppy owner can make.

4. Unintentionally allowing unreasonable fears

Because puppies are small, cute, and sensitive, they tend to trigger protective instincts in humans, which often translate into a desire to wrap them in cotton and protect them from the world! However, just as this approach is counterproductive when it comes to children - for example, if your child is playing on their knee, causing a lot of noise it can cause them to cry, minimizing and dealing with it, as there is no greater chance to encourage them to continue normally.

The same goes for puppies - if they are scared, shy or nervous, or something happens that makes them wary, do not push their shower with sympathy - this is the fastest way to amplify their fears and create a nervous adult. dog.

Instead, behave normally and this will reassure your puppy that there is nothing to fear and encourage them to continue normally.

5. Tell your puppy when they do not understand something

So go down in the morning to find that your puppy has made a mess on the floor… your instinctive reaction may be to tell them, but bite your tongue! First of all, if a young puppy is ruining things or fishing indoors, it may be due to a lack of understanding or because you have not met your needs in this regard - and also, your puppy has no idea what they were wrong if you told them after the incident.

Do not make a big fuss, but clear up immediately and see ways you can avoid the problem that will arise again in the future.

6. DO NOT leave the puppy home alone

Book a holiday for at least a week or two to ensure your puppy gets used to his new home. The puppy should initially be fed four times a day. A small dog also needs to potty train more often. Always take your puppy out after waking up, playing, eating and drinking.

7. DO NOT stretch the loneliness But must get used to it

Get your dog used to being alone during the first few weeks. For example, you can go to another room first. Exercise when the puppy is already tired and your pup would be calmer.

Leave your pup a treat, say "Wait!" and go away for a moment. Many times the treat will sooth him and your pup will go to sleep after eating. When you come back, go back to your normal chores. Most importantly, there is no big difference between the first arrival and the next day.

If the dog keeps making noise when alone, go play with him, go for a walk, do activity and repeat the exercise so many times that loneliness begins to disappear.

8. DO NOT think that learning to be tidy happens all at once

Few dogs learn to be tidy all at once. The dog cannot be managed in the event of an emergency when it happens, so it should not be penalized for peeing on the floor.

Do not pay too much attention to the mess, but rather clean it up and continue. The dog likes attention, whether it’s positive or negative. The dog also does not remember the booboo done an hour ago. It looks repentant because it reads its owner’s scornful behavior.

9. DO NOT put the dog on a leash immediately

The dog doesn’t immediately realize that while on the leash, it has to obediently paddle alongside its owner. Teach your dog to keep an eye on you and walk close to you first, only then turn your attention to the leash. Also teach the dog to walk past his companions and people without making a fuss. Other dogs are found in a safe place without a leash.

10. NOT allow the puppy to wean in your arms

Getting used to a person's bosom and to calm him down will make it easier in the future, for example, to visit a veterinarian. Teach your puppy that you can only get out of your arms when the rattle has stopped. When the puppy is calm in your arms, keep your grip gentle & comfortable. If the puppy is rattling, tighten the grip.

However, do not hurt your pup. Also don’t instantly let him down. Let your puppy down after he has been rattling for at least ten seconds. Often the puppy needs dozens of exercises to get it right.

11. DO NOT forget to investigate health issues on a timely manner

Once the dog is already at home, it is too late to start figuring out health / vaccine issues. Find out in advance what vaccines your dog needs to be given.

The dog is given the first vaccinations at three months of age and booster vaccinations one month after the first vaccinations. After a year, booster vaccinations will be given, followed by veterinary instructions.

12. DO NOT leave valuables in the open, visible & accessible to your new friend

Hide any items that your dog may break when raging. Also remove dangerous items, such as cords, that your dog should not chew on. Keep the environment safe for your dog.

13. DO NOT let your dog rage without limits

A dog needs to be set clear boundaries of what it’s allowed to do and what it’s not. Together agreed rules must be followed by all family members. If it is agreed that the dog is not allowed to jump on the couch, no one will let the dog jump on the couch.

The dog gets confused if one member of the family lets go and the other scolds. When speaking to a dog, one word must also be used. If one says "No!" and another “Stop!”, the dog will get confused.

14. DO NOT forget to teach good healing practices

If the dog bounces and rages when you arrive, you yourself have taught it how to greet you. If you don’t want your dog to jump against yourself, don’t give your dog attention.

Turn your back and look at the ceiling. When the dog behaves, notice the dog. It gradually learns that the bouncing & jumping is not worth it.

15. DO NOT write off expert help

Breeders often give good advice on how to train your dog. Experts from different dog breeds can be found, for example, on the websites of Kennel Club’s.

Also see more Interesting Articles: Here

[idontknowiknow]

i have absolutely no idea what my brain makes of my extremely sporadic taking of antidepressants. i’m sure my doctor would be horrified but like! i told them all this would happen. it always does. even when it means i’m bleeding at random or whatever. cannot take meds reliably long term. probably taking a bit of one every few days at irregular intervals is worse than just committing to not taking them anymore; just constantly messing my brain chemistry around; but it’s like 10mg i guess. idk frankly i feel 0 difference these days whether i’ve missed a bunch or not. it used to be reasonably obvious; i’d just be like ‘why do i feel terrible???? oh.... haven’t taken a pill for a few days’ but now i’m just chill most of the time. which is good! i know that this is partly because i changed some external factors ie i got a different job. which, that’s still stressful, and i’m still learning things and i worry about performance a lot still, so again probably not a great idea to give up on my meds entirely. but i’m no longer working with a bully (pretty much if i knew i was going to be working with him it would be a reminder to take my meds lol...) and also don’t have to deal with powerlines so life’s pretty good.

(why did i ever think that was a good idea! i finally got an official warning from electrical safety victoria due to my fuckup that time. woo, straight to the pool room... i got it and felt like a TERRIBLE FAILURE all over again, except then i remembered that actually i did deal with it, because going ‘actually i hate this and don’t want to be in this situation anymore’ and getting out of that situation IS a valid way to make sure i’m safe around powerlines. don’t worry esv! i’m gone! i’m out of there! we don’t have to deal with my bad situational/spatial awareness anymore! first step of OHS is elimination so. done. eliminated that danger from my life. ironically the other month i climbed a tree on my own time and uhhhh there were powerlines again and im like.... this is definitely not what i should be doing. of all the trees to climb jfc)

anyway i took my meds today but when did i last take them??? there’s just no knowing (lauren reminded me yesterday but i immediately forgot about it i think) basically i should go to the doctor and ask for an official opinion on whether to stop, except every single time i do this they say ‘it’s TERRIBLE for you to miss your meds all the time! DON’T DO THAT’ which, as stated, I KNOW, and then they go ‘well if you’re feeling consistently fine then sure probably you don’t need to be on them.’ so blegh

[mommab2l-blog]

*******

Aimee  Thu, Apr 30, 2:47 PM 

Hi Becky, We were wondering if it would be possible to have ******* from May 13th to May 30th? Thanks

Becky  Thu, Apr 30, 2:52 PM 

As part of your 4 week summer visitation?

Aimee  Thu, Apr 30, 3:00 PM 

Just thought you would be considerate without adding it to another visitation due to:

remote schooling

long commute (600 miles round trip) for bi- monthly visitation

Memorial holiday

Becky  Thu, Apr 30, 3:05 PM 

I am not interested in pursuing additional visitation.  I am willing to facilitate a date exchange for the same amount of time.  There is potential for his baseball team to do some field work starting in June so that would be something we could discuss.  +++ is also currently working and he is doing schooling.  Regardless,+++b will be available for the Memorial Day Holiday May 21st-26th.

Aimee  Thu, Apr 30, 3:15 PM 

You may not be interested but is +++++++, as this is who this is about. This is not an unreasonable request and considering you have him most of the time, a date exchange for the same amount of time is being unreasonable.

Becky  Thu, Apr 30, 3:32 PM 

I am following the divorce order and considering the safely of my son's well being.  His well being and safety is the most important thing in the world to me.   I am sorry you do not agree, but that is not really my problem.  The visitation order that exists is for the safely and best interest of my son.  Jason can call and guilt him all he wants, my job is to be the responsible parent. He may not tell you how he feels, but, believe me, he tells me.He also already has an appointment to take his drivers test on the 18th and will hopefully be doing the driving portion of the test on the 16th or 17th.Also, making him feel bad about his nickname is ridiculous.  He will tell you what you want to hear, but he writes +++ on his school assignments. ********* and ***** should also be allowed to call him whatever they like, not be ordered what to call him in your presence.  He shouldn't be worried when the school puts his name as +++ in a program or on a certificate that "my Dad will be mad".  Call him what you want, but leave everyone else alone.

Becky  Thu, Apr 30, 3:47 PM 

And one more thing, do not talk to me about considering what +++ wants when +++ is the one who wanted a passport and you flat our refused him.  That was what HE wanted.  

Becky  Thu, Apr 30, 4:49 PM (5 days ago) I have let this communication game of yours go on for long enough. My COURT ORDERED DECREE is with Jason and I will NO LONGER be speaking or responding to Aimee about my son with Jason. If Jason has something to speak to me about then he can communicate that for himself.Effective 4/30/20 at 4:48 P.M.

Sincerely, Becky 

Jason L 12:58 PM Tuesday May 5

Regarding the passport, I did not refuse +++++++ anything, if he had wanted a passport, he has not communicated that to me, in fact has never brought it up. Our children's safety is of the upmost importance to me and is exactly why I did not complete the passport application.  You refused to tell me exactly where you were going and the details about the trip (ie where you were staying, who he was going with, when the trip was, etc). As +++++++'s other parent, I have every right to know the details of a trip out of the country. In addition, there is no way you would be getting a copy of my driver's license so you could write permission letters in and out of the country and forge my name. Did you tell +++++++ that side of the story, or just make me look like the bad guy like you tried in this email?

The kids have vented frustrations to me also because that is what kids do, but I do not put it in an email trying to make you look bad. I do not feel I have tried to guilt +++++++ into anything, he has told me that he wants to come visit me. Do you see him sad and upset when he leaves our home, no, so don't try and twist what he wants to make both his parents happy and not upset either of us.  

All I asked for was more time with +++++++ during a time when there are no sporting events and school to conflict with the time and it could be tied in with the Memorial holiday,  this was not unreasonable request. It is interesting how you bring up safety AFTER you ask if this is part of the 4 weeks in the summer and that you are willing to “facilitate a date exchange for the same amount of time.”

As far as the other items you mention about a nickname and trying to bash me just seems out of context in regards to this email and more time with +++++++. But since you brought it up, I do not "get mad" about "+++" being on certificates and rosters. What bothers me about it is that it is not his legal name. When it comes to +++++++'s future and his legal name is not attached to things like certificates and rosters (anything school/sport related), I get concerned that it will not be taken seriously on college, sports, or even employment applications. +++++++ knows I will be upset just for that reason and it should not be taken out of context. If +++++++ wants to be called "+++" that is choice, including +++++++++ and +++++ and they know that as they are adults now. In fact,  Aimee calls him +++++++ +++ or B-+++ and I am just fine with that. My choice as his father is to continue to call him +++++++.

And for the record, we (me and Aimee) discussed with +++++++++ a birthday party for +++++++ on May 2nd. +++++++ really wanted it at our home, and we told +++++++++ that we would email you and Chris an invite to our home. +++++++++ then told us that you had chosen not to travel at that time so we did not extend an invite for +++++++'s party (which in hindsight we should have extended the invite any way to prevent +++++++++ being called a liar).  I do not want +++++++ and +++++++ (or any of our future grandchildren) to ever feel like they cannot have all their grandparents in the same room to cheer them on. I do not want the same for them as what our children have had to endure over the years.

Jason

Becky Tuesday May 5 2:31 p.m.

Jason,

I have spoken to +++ and he would like to come for a little extra time.  +++ and I discussed the week following Memorial Day, returning on the 30th.  Let me know if that would work for you.  At the time that you sent the email requesting an additional 2.5 weeks, you were already aware that +++ was taking his driver’s license test on May 18th.  I know he told you that information.  He has been counting down the days and perhaps you could demonstrate putting him first by considering things like that before making requests which I will then have to turn down due to things +++ already has planned.  He will also still be required to do his school work during that time. Regarding the passport, you most certainly did refuse.  He begged me for months to ask you, he was uncomfortable doing so.  Only you are to blame for anyone being nervous to ask you things.  I did give you every detail available to me at the time and promised to give you final details when things were finalized. I am not stupid enough to purchase tickets and make solid plans without a passport in hand.  So, saying I refused details is completely untrue.   Also, just because you have forged my name in the past on our tax return check DO NOT assume I too would stoop so low as to commit forgery. Sending me a copy of your license was ONE option, you were also offered to take your information to the Lemhi County court house on your own and turn it in.  BOTH options were refused. Safety is always a huge concern when the children are with you.  I lived with the abuse and I just pray they don’t have to endure the same experiences as me.  All I can do is hope that you are taking your medication and that someone will protect them if need be.  While I know there have been issues over the years, I just hope for the best.  The safety of my children will always come first. I have been told a completely different story about the +++++++ “+++” issue from numerous sources, but that really doesn’t matter.  I just don’t like him to feel bad.  Rest assured that he is enrolled in school under his legal name.  I am not concerned about it being a problem for him at any time in his life. I completely agree it is a shame what our children have had to endure.  The total lack of communication by you has made it impossible to ever get anything accomplished in any kind of civilized matter.  I have asked time and time again for communication from you and to not make the children do the communication for you but it never changes.  Just in the last few months you have made +++ ask me if he can go to dinner with you and if he could spend the night at your hotel after basketball.  It takes you over 5 hours to get here, so being in the area is never a surprise and all you have to do is text or email so we can all know what is going on.  You treat me and my family like any plans we have are not important and everything must be dropped the minute you roll into town.  You have forced me to have communication with your wife instead of you and if she doesn’t come to town with you there is zero communication on what time you will arrive for scheduled pick ups or what time I can expect him back. So please,  if you want to try to make things remotely better, man up, text or email me yourself, DON’T use the kids as go-betweens or your wife. Just be polite and considerate of other people plans and time.  That would be a huge first step.  I hope you chose to take it. Sincerely, Becky 

[dove-haunted]

Healthy Communication in a Relationship

When my boyfriend and I first started dating, we were both so thoroughly trapped in our own minds and different experiences that it seemed as if were trying to contact each other from separate dimensions. Like a ouija board, we could only make sense of a word or two here and there: hello, yes, no, until finally, we had to say goodbye. Yes, it's true. At the time, our differences seemed so insurmountable, that we broke up. Well, he broke up with me. But we did eventually (almost immediately) get back together, and while there definitely are still some things about the break up that hurt me, I think it was ultimately a good thing. It taught both of us some very important lessons. For me, it taught me how to live without him, and for him—well, I think it taught him just how much he cares for me. However, one of the most important lessons, one the break up taught both of us, and the one I sat down to write about today, was how to communicate in a healthy way. In the process of breaking up and getting back together, we took our evening seance of a relationship and turned it into a full-on haunting.   Before I begin, I'd like to offer some background information, just so everyone can get the full picture. He's a 32 year old photographer with a Masters degree and a laundry list of past sexual and drug related experiences. In comparison, I'm a 23 year old on a break from college who doesn't really even like smoking weed and is just now dating my first boyfriend. He's a cynic, I'm a romantic. He has committment issues, I'm always kinda sorta at least casually looking for a husband. On paper, we're complete opposites. And that's one of the main reasons why we couldn't understand each other at the beginning. I think another reason is because we both had very different goals for the relationship. I can't know for certain, but I think, at least at the beginning, my boyfriend treated the relationship as a kind of fling, or at least, not very seriously at all. He wanted something easy. Unfortunately, I am not that. At all. I am emotional and idealistic and incredibly intense. And so he was scared off. But as scary as all of those qualities I possess may be, they also make me incredibly loving, considerate, affectionate, and loyal. When I wasn't there anymore, he realized just how hard it was to live without that. Once he realized just how much I meant to him, his goals for the relationship changed completely: now, he wanted us to stay together for as long as possible. Not quite marriage, of course, but I also wasn't seriously looking for marriage. One day, yes. But with him? I could only answer with a maybe. I mean, I'm only 23. So, while he became more passionate about the relationship, my passion decreased, making me something at least close to rational. And that's because, learning the hard way, I found out that I actually could survive without him. In that way, our intentions for the relationship came into alignment and we started treating each other with the same goals in mind. This is important because I believe having the same goals for the relationship is the first step in developing a healthy form of communication. After all, our different life experiences didn't change and magically become the same after breaking up and getting back together. We were still just as different as we had ever been. The only difference was that we both cared the same amount about being able to overcome those differences. And that gave us the patience we never had before to work through them. Before, whenever we would get into a disagreement, usually because, perpetual bachelor that he was, he would say or do something insensitive and I would get hurt, I'd cry. Cry a lot. And he'd either get angry or get so exasperated with the conversation that he'd give up trying to come to some mutually beneficial conclusion. At the time, it was just too messy for him. But now, because of this newfound patience and care, he actually takes the time to understand where I'm coming from. He also apologizes a lot more, which is important. And because he takes the time to understand where I'm coming from and to atone for his mistakes—well, that makes me act more patiently and take more time to understand him. Because I can see that he is at least trying to navigate relatively unknown waters to him (ie. being in a committed, meaningful relationship with someone who cares about him) and actually getting better at it, I cut him a lot more slack than I ever did before. For example, the other night I got in a huge blowout fight with my mom. I'm talking screaming and tears and slamming doors. Truly atrocious stuff. Well, obviously I was incredibly emotionally distraught when it was all over and texted my boyfriend for support. I told him I'd had a bad day and that I wish I were with him instead. When he asked me what was wrong, I told him I'd had a fight with my mom, but that I didn't want to talk about it. I just wanted to let him know how much I appreciated having him in my life. All he said to that was, "I'm sorry!" And then for two hours didn't say anything else. I thought, "Well, maybe he's at work." Nope! When I asked him, he told me he was at home. So, of course I, the already huge monster of snot and tears, became infuriated by this lack of much needed attention from my boyfriend. I wanted to give him the cold shoulder and teach him how it felt to be ignored, which is what I thought he was doing to me. But that's what I would have done before, and in the course of the last few months, I've come to realize that that's not a healthy reaction to have. Mostly because, if I don't say what's wrong, he won't know that there's a problem and nothing will get fixed. I've also come to realize that, because he is so different from me, he usually reacts differently to situations than I would have had the tables been turned. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just that sometimes his reactions aren't what I need at the time and he, the recuperating bachelor, is completely unaware of this. Because of this, it isn't always his fault for not knowing. I've learned to remember this. So, I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I very calmly explained that, although I told him I didn't want to talk about the actual situation, I still wanted to talk to my boyfriend. I told him I needed some emotional support from him, to be told that he cares about me and that he's there for me if I need him, and that, due to his limited response, I was feeling ignored and alone. And do you know what his response to that was? Surprise! He thought I didn't want to talk at all and that what I needed was space. He apologized for making me feel lonely and then, guess what—proceeded to give me what I needed, which was really just a conversation with my boyfriend to distract me from the horrible day I had. The conversation could have ended there, but I wanted to make sure he didn't feel vilified for the situation and that I understood that he just didn't know. So I told him it was okay and made sure to tell him in detail what I need whenever I'm in that kind of emotional situation again. He continued being very sweet about it and promised to change his response in the future. This is just one example, but both of us have come so far in regards to communicating with each other. Whereas before, I would have gotten upset and acted moody until, finally, maybe he'd ask me what was wrong, now I act calmly and gently explain how I'm feeling. And instead of reacting defensively or derisively, now my boyfriend takes the time to understand and promises to do better in the future. This isn't me offering a cookie-cutter shape of what healthy communication should be, because truly, it's different for every couple. But I think the most important lesson I learned and that hopefully you can learn from reading this, is that you should feel comfortable going to your partner or partners about issues you have in the relationship. Although one side might get angry, there should never be any fear that you'll be treated badly or left because you voiced your concerns. Eventually, the two or three or however many of you should be able to calm down, come together, and work on the situation. If your partner shouts and screams and tells you you're a horrible person and threatens to leave, there's an issue there and that person is probably not the best person to be with. It's also important to remember that, although a couple might be bad at communicating at one point, that doesn't mean that will always be the case. If the people involved care enough, they can find a way to communicate in a healthier manner. But it requires work and if one person in the relationship doesn't want to put forth that work, then it's hopeless and everyone involved should move on.