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multifandomgirl08 · 1 year

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Day At The Karting Track [Mini Verstappen Series]

Dad!Max Verstappen x Fem!Reader (Established Relationship)

Summary: Nico starts karting. It opens a small can of worms.

Warning(s): Flashback, Mixed Media (Story + Social Media)

A/N: Edited 8/1/2024

Words: 2.2k

Previous Part → Next Part Mini Verstappen Masterlist

Nico had been bouncing around all morning excited for his first time at a karting track. It had been the highlight of his week after flying to Austria to watch Max race after Nico’s last day of daycare before the summer holiday started.

Although Max was excited for Nico, you also knew that he was nervous.

Nico had taken to sitting in the Kart that was gifted to him for his last birthday whenever he could, waiting for the day until he was able to drive on a karting track. The helmet that Nico wore was a replica of one of Max’s old ones. You had taken photos of Nico in his race suit after he had eaten breakfast, his race suit hanging off his waist, the sleeves just barely touching the hardwood floor. He stood proudly against the wall in the entryway of the apartment, with his helmet under his arm. Looking every bit his father’s son.

Max was silent in the kitchen drinking his Red Bull while you packed up your bag with Nico’s little gloves and a pair of sneakers for him to change into after.

Max hadn’t said much all morning, you had made breakfast for yourself and Nico while Max sat with you both. Nico had so many questions for Max.

“How long does the race last? How many other people are going to be there? Will I be just like you Papa?” Nico had asked one after another in between bites of his food.

Max had answered as many of Nico’s questions as he could, but he had kept his answers short. Although Max loved that Nico loved F1 as much as he did, he wasn’t sure if he wanted Nico to end up driving in motorsports at all.

It was a combination of things; it was hard, it was expensive (both you and Max could afford it), and Max wasn’t sure if he would be the best person to be Nico’s coach. It wasn’t just because Max was away most weekends.

“I don’t want him karting.” Max had said to you late one night after Nico had gone to bed.

“Max, isn’t that his choice to make?” You asked, as you laid with him on the couch in the living room.

“No, because… I’m the one who’s going to have to coach him. I’m the one who’s going to have to tell him when he isn’t doing something right. I’m going to have to do things like…” Max didn’t have to finish his sentence for you to know what he was going to say.

Max’s “father”, if you could even call him that, was a constant source of stress for Max when it came to raising Nico. From the media which you now knew how to handle, to dealing with the pressure of Jos Verstappen hanging over his head. It was a constant, never ending battle for him.

Max wasn’t looking at you as his head was resting in your lap staring up at the ceiling.

“You don’t have to.” In reality you didn’t know the intricacies of how karting worked, and when it really started to matter if Nico took it seriously. Nico had been 3½ when he had asked you and Max if he could try, and by the time he would turn four he already had all of the needed equipment sitting in the garage of the apartment building ready to be used.

“Yes, I do. Most kids have a coach by the time that they’re 6, and they start competing at the age of 8.” As Max started telling you about the facts, it made it more difficult for you to not think about Nico. He was a kid, he shouldn’t have to think about if he wanted to pursue this so young. “If he starts later, he won’t have a leg up on the kids who have been doing it longer. Starting him young will prepare him for-”

Max cut himself off before burying his head into your thigh. “UHHH!” He yelled in frustration. “This is exactly why I don’t want him karting. I sound like my father when I was Nico’s age.”

It had taken two more months and having Sophie over for dinner to put Max’s mind at ease with Nico karting. You were sitting at the dinner table with Sophie who had helped you cook. Max had his hand in yours gripping it tightly when you had brought it up.

“I know you're concerned about him pursuing this. When you started living with Jos, and he started teaching you about karting I didn’t want to let you go. I didn’t want you to be raised by him like you were. I wanted to protect you, like any parent would.” She paused for a moment.

It felt like Sophie was acknowledging something from Max’s childhood that you knew nothing about. She didn’t want Max to be raised the way that he was? What had Jos done to Max when he was a child?

“Like you want to for Nico, but I also understood that I had to let you go. I knew one day that I would get to spend as much time with you as I wanted, I just had to wait.” She continued before taking a sip from her glass that was on the table. She didn’t bring up anything else from Max’s childhood, just her own feelings about not getting to spend as much time with him when he was younger.

Both you and Max had glanced over at Nico who was sitting on the carpet in front of the TV with one of his books open. He was turning the pages, looking at the pictures of the characters on the page before Sassy made her way over, pressing herself into Nico’s space. He let out a happy squeal as the cat nuzzled herself under his chin.

“I know that you are concerned about turning out like him. But you’ve already shown your son more compassion as a parent than your father ever did when you were growing up. If Nico wants to pursue this, you should let him. The worst thing he could say to you about it, is that he no longer wishes to compete. Let him have it, and if he no longer wants to let him make that choice, not you.”

Sophie had walked over to the other side of the table and kissed Max on the forehead as if he was still a child before looking over at you and giving you a smile that you read as a silent Thank you. Thank you for being there for my son and my grandson. You didn’t need her to voice the words to know that was what she had meant.

You just nodded before offering to clear the table. Max was quick to get up from his seat and move all of the plates into the kitchen while you and Sophie chatted between the two of you about Nico and yours and Max’s plans for the mid-season break as a way to lighten the feeling in the room.

Once you got to the karting track Nico undid his carseat before Max had put the car in park. He had jumped out of the car as soon as he could. Max had gone to chase after Nico while you went over to handle the forms you would need to fill out for Nico.

You quickly spoke to the woman behind the counter after paying the deposit for the day, and with the receipt she started to collect a small stack of papers.

“You’re going to need to fill out a waiver today before the race starts.” The woman said. She gave you a clipboard and a pen for you to start filling out the information for Nico.

As you looked it over, you added in all of Nico’s info, like his name, date of birth, and then your eyes fell on the emergency information. Adding in Max’s was easy.

Parent 1

Name: Max Verstappen Relationship to Child: Father

Address: **, ****** ********** ********* Monaco, La Condamine, 98000 Monaco

Phone Number: +33 00*******

As you stared at the paper you were quick to write down your name. You kept tapping the pen over where it said Relationship to Child. You quickly scribbled down Step-Mother without giving it another thought before copying the address and adding in your own phone number.

It wasn’t that you and Max had never had those conversations about the future. You knew that your relationship was long term and you knew that Max saw a future with you but you had never really talked about how that would affect Nico. Would you be his mother if things seemed to keep progressing the way that they had? Would you be his step-mother if Max ended up proposing?

You pushed the thought from your mind filling out the rest of the papers before you saw Max and Nico come back. You give the papers over to Max so he could sign where his signature was needed. You saw Max turn the pages back over, looked at the first page and then crossed something out before handing the papers back to the woman behind the counter.

“Everything looks to be in order.” The woman said, giving both you and Max a smile. “The race starts in about 30 minutes. You can have your son set up his things over there.” She pointed to a small set of tables where there were parents sitting strapping their children’s helmets on.

You and Max had helped Nico put on his gloves and his helmet before taking his kart over to where the starting line was. The other kids were standing with their parents, some of them looking over at Max knowing exactly who he was. None of the parents had come up to Max to ask for pictures or anything like that but you knew it would probably happen when you were going to leave.

Nico sat down in his kart, moving around a little in the seat before you kissed Nico on top of his helmet and Max gave him a fist bump and a nod with a smile. You and Max walked back behind the gate to watch as the boys, and a smaller group of girls got ready to race around the track for the allocated amount of time.

You had quickly posted something to your Instagram of a photo you had gotten of Nico earlier on.

ynlnusername added to their story

Nico had ended up finishing the race in third. Max looked at you after it was over, probably blown away at Nico’s natural talent.

You had been at the track for another few hours, meeting and talking to some of the other parents. One of the little boys that Nico had raced against even had the courage to walk up to Max and asked for an autograph. Max at first said that he didn’t have a pen on him before you had pulled out a Sharpie from your bag. You had taken to carrying a few with you just in case.

Max had given you a look that told you everything that you needed to know. Afterwards you had helped pack up all of Nico’s things and put him in the car. You planned to give him a bath once you got back home. You found it astounding that he hadn’t fallen asleep on the drive back home.

When you had gotten up to the apartment Max went with Nico into his bathroom and gave him a bath while you ordered an early dinner for the three of you. Nico ate his fill, and while you and Max had finished eating, Nico went to watch some cartoons on the TV.

Eventually Nico ended up on the couch asleep between you and Max. The sound of the TV gave off a light hum.

“So I wanted to know,” Max started to say after he put his phone down. “Why did you put step-mother on Nico’s emergency contact information earlier?”

You were a little taken aback by Max’s question.

“I mean,” He started again. “I know that we’ve talked about the future and wanting to eventually get married. Did you think that when I ended up proposing you wouldn’t fully be Nico’s mother?”

You knew that in France, and in other parts of Europe the process of “adopting” Nico would take some time especially given that you and Max weren’t married, heck you weren’t even engaged yet. Nico didn’t call you anything but Mimi or your name when he could manage to say it.

“I just didn’t want to assume Max.” Nico had a mother, a birth mother who had given him up, but she was still his mom. It was strange because you felt like Nico’s mother, you did everything that a normal mother would do for her son.

Max reached over to lay his hand over yours moving closer to look you in the eyes. You could see the turquoise of Max’s eyes swimming as if you were caught in the ocean. He moved his other hand up to cup your chin.

“You’re his mother Y/N, in every way.” Max leaned up, placing his lips against your hair, pulling both you and Nico closer. “Never doubt that.” He muttered.

You nodded against Max’s shoulder before thinking, official papers be damned.

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#mini verstappen series #max verstappen imagines #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine #mv1 imagine #mv1 x reader #mv33 imagine #formula one imagine #formula 1 imagine #max verstappen

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poem-i-wish-i-wrote · 3 months

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Even in my worst day did I deserve babe, all the hell you gave me?

pairing: Lando Norris x reader summery: He want to come back to you, but the love in his eyes doesn't measure up to the pain you went through. Warnings: A little bit too angsty

It was hot inside the club. Your vision was getting blurry. “You look so cute babe” he twirled you around in the dress he bought you yesterday. Kissing your nose after pulling you towards him by your waist.

This isn’t happening right now.

“Lando stop” You say laughing hysterically as he keeps tickling you. “I won’t until you say it back.” He says attacking your sides. He just said “I love you” for the first time and your reply was “I’ll get back to you in 3-5 business days.” You both are giggling like kids. “Say it” he shouts on top of your giggles. “I love you too!!” you shout back giggling.

You tear your eyes from his face, his standing across the dance floor. He noticed you too. You turn around and look at the shot glass in front of you.

The sound of cheering hitting your eardrums. Your eyes are burning from tears. There is chaos of celebration around you. But you can’t register any of that. All that is in your head is that the boy that is running towards your arm after his victory. He picks you up and spins you around before crushing his lips into yours.

You pick the flowers in the field where you arranged your picnic date to surprise him. You put each of them in his hair. “Darling, you’re going to be the death of me.” he whispers with the lovesick look in his eyes before pressing a kiss on your temple.

You drank the shot very aggressively, before signalling the waiter for another one. Maybe the alcohol could stop the flashbacks from coming.

You turn around again and see him still looking at you from where he stood. Gosh it made your stomach turn. He looked so good under the neon light of the dance floor. With the top two buttons of his navy blue shirt unbuttoned, with his hair messed up like that. You missed him so much.

You turn around again. You missed his voice, you missed his smell, you missed him calling your name, you missed the way he looked at you, you missed looking into his eyes. You missed his touch, his lips, missed his infuriating humour, that smile. Damn it, it’s been months. You should have moved on by now.

Your best friend comes close to you. She knows what was going on in your head. She saw the boy walk in. “Let’s show him what he lost.”

Your lips curl into half a smile, before you take the next shot. It’s been months and yes you missed him too, but you hate the way he hurt you. Fading from your life slowly. Ignoring you, and acting like it was no big deal. Not replying, not calling, two word answers, flirting with every woman around. Then just disappearing altogether. He stopped interacting with you at all. The breakup never happened at one point. He slowly faded until you couldn’t find him anywhere. Except that he was everywhere.

He was all around your existence. Everywhereyou looked, around your apartment, on the streets, not to mention on the whole internet.

And to make things worse, that asshole would post stories with other people in the places that were special for you two in clearly a very “stab to the heart’’.

So you hate him as much as you miss him. Your immense love for that man over the course of months turned into rage.

And You finally started to get over it. You’re not ruining months of being strong just because his stupid face showed up. You turned around and took your friend's hand and she led you towards the dance floor.

You were out with a bunch of friends today. After you've been distant from everyone due to heartbreak, you finally started to socialise again. Going out with friends, being active on your socials. You worked real damn hard to heal yourself.

You danced through the night to the beat of music. When you went back for drinks you saw Max making his way towards you Your friend Emily. “Hey Y/n! Emily!” You finished the drink before turning around and plastering the biggest, fakest smile on your face. “Max!” You called back, hugging the boy. You really were happy to see Max, but you would be much happier if your ex was trailing behind him. Gosh did you want to punch him, or to run into his arms. But all you did was stand a little straight.

You looked at Lando and smiled sweetly but made sure he knew how fake the smile was. He looked very nervous. “Hey” he said cautiously. “Hi,” you said, the smile not weavering for a min before turning back to Max who was catching up with Emily now.

You chat with Max for a bit as he orders a drink, completely ignoring Lando. He just stands there awkwardly. Once the conversation was done Lando coughed to get your attention.

“Y/n can we talk?” you turn towards him with an expression that makes him want to dig a hole and die in it. “Sorry, But i don’t think we have anything to talk about. Please, excuse me.” You say trying to walk past him back towards the dance floor.

He quickly grabs your wrist. “Y/n please! Just hear me out.” You look at him and then your hand.

“Lando let go of my hand.” you say through gritted teeths. “Please, just listen.”

Something inside you snaps, the months of hurt, pain and anger coursing through your veins. You snatched your hand back and sneered at him. “Go ahead, say it.” “I- Y/n I’m so sorry about how I treated you.” “Huh” A half chuckle leaves your throat in disbelief.

“You're sorry? That’s all you have to say?Damn you Norris, I hope you are fucking sorry.” Your voice comes out higher than you wished for it to.

“Let me explain. I was mad and I- I pushed you away.” “And pray tell why you were mad?” “You know why.” He says with an infuriating expression on his face. “You know why I was mad.”

“DID I?? DID I KNOW??” you were really yelling at this point. The club was really loud, But the people around you were terrified of how angry you sounded.

“You know you did.”

“So what you are saying is that it was my fault? That I should have known? Even when Asked multiple times if you were okay with it. Even when I apologised hundreds of times, Even when I did everything I could do to make things between us more comfortable for you.”

You know what Lando was indicating, A month and half before Lando started to act out, he and some of your friends got into a fight. The fight had nothing to do with you but it was bad. And It put you in a horrible position. But you did your best. You apologised for your friends’ behaviour to him and he said it wasn’t your fault, but he still held it against you in his head. You put distance between you and your friends so he wouldn’t be so uncomfortable. Even though It put you in a very compromising and uncomfortable position, you tried to handle the situation the best you could.

“ You know I don’t like them. You know how jealous I get about them. It boils my blood to see you with them. But I would never tell you to ditch your friends.”

“That’s really how you are going to justify this? You were jealous? You hate my friends, so you slowly but painfully shut me off?” You let another frustrated sound in disbelief.

He now looked desperately at your eyes. “Look, I know I didn’t handle it very well. You know how I get when I’m jealous. It wasn’t your fault. I was just mad and I felt like you didn’t prioritise me.”

Oh the audacity of this man

Even Max wanted to punch him after he said that last line. Anyone who was around you two during your relationship knew how much you cared for that boy. You would run to the other side of the world leaving everything behind the minute he needed you. You always tried your best to do right by him. Fuck, you were in love with him. But at what cost? Just to hear you didn’t prioritise him at the end?

“I can’t believe you” you spat out.

“Y/n please, give us another chance. I’ve been miserable without you. I can’t stop thinking about you. I love you know that, I know you do too.” It was true. No matter how much of an asshole he was to you. You knew he loved you. You never doubted that. He just was an asshole about it. And you loved him too. Even after months of this agony you still loved him. But dammit it hurts. He hurt you in the worst way possible. He loved you but it didn’t measure up to the pain he caused, the sleepless night, the self doubt, the self loathing. It wasn’t enough.

“Give you another chance? That’s what you want? After all that you did? Of course I love you. I loved you from the very first. I loved you with my whole heart and you went ahead and broke it to pieces. I didn’t fucking deserve that. And you just want me to forget all that. It doesn’t work that way Norris.” You shook your head.

“Y/n I love you. Please” he pleaded while taking your hands into his. You looked him in the eye. You wanted to melt into his arms and you almost did. You loved him too but that didn’t matter anymore.

“I love you,” he said one more time. “That doesn’t change anything. Goodbye, Norris” That's all you said before turning away and leaving.

Author's note: This took a different turn then i intended. This is very much based on my own experience. A situation I was in a month ago. And I wish I handled the situation the way my main character does here. But being the soft idiot I am I let them back in. Which I regret sometimes. So while writing this.....got carried away and started projecting. Sorry about that, but hope you enjoy my misery. This was more like a rant or a therapy session for me. Also sent request I'm all out of ideas. Love you, hope you like this.

#f1 fanfic #f1 fic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando x reader #lando noriss x you #formula 1 #f1 #mclaren f1 #papaya boys

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brummiereader · 1 year

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MASTERLIST

Hopelessly Devoted (PART ONE)

Summary: A flashback to when you and Tommy were young, carefree and smitten with one another plays out in your head as you sit alone in the Garrison, watching him now in the arms of another woman whilst you desperately hold onto the love you still have for him. Does Tommy share the same sentiments or has his bitterness towards you stained the love he claims he no long has for you?

Warnings: Language, angst, fluff, mutual pining

Authors note: Inspired by the song "Hopelessly Devoted" by Olivia Newton-John. RIP sweet angel.

"We're bloody late again!" your mother muttered under her breath as she hurried up the church steps holding onto her hat from the bitter January wind whilst you are your little brother George, lovingly known as Georgie walked behind her. "Ten minutes until we leave I said" she huffed turning around, scowling at you as you rolled your eyes in response. "Ten minutes! In the time it took for you to put your dress on I had swept the porch and gotten your brother ready. Why did you give me such an unruly child?" she said looking up to the heavens expecting some sort of response. "Out all hours gallivanting about with those Shelby boys, never listening to a word I say. I'm being punished aren't I, for the sins of her father...the bloody fool he was, drinking himself to an early grave, leaving me here to fend for myself with two kids..." she carried on as you held your little brothers hand, a small sigh leaving his mouth as he looked up at you, shaking his head at your mother's relentless rambling. " Y/N let me look at you. Bloody hell child, you look a state!" she frowned as she turned to face you at the top of the steps.

"Can you just stop" you said trying to move her hands away as she pushed your hair back behind your ears, pinching your cheeks to give them a rosy glow. "Look at your dress..." she huffed as she straightened the bottom out, pulling at the frilly pink fabric whilst your little brother reached up to open the church door. "Stay still!" she said as you started fidgeting away from her hands, her overbearing mothering making you feel like you was eight years old again.

" For god's sake I'm not a kid!" you replied rather loudly when the doors fully opened and everyone in their seats turned around to look at the commotion. "Shit" you mumbled under your breath as you looked to the sea of eyes now staring back at you, the loud bang of the church door slamming against the brick wall startling you as your little brother giggled in amusement.

" Bloody Walk Y/N" your mother said through gritted teeth behind you as she took her and George's hat off. Smiling graciously left to right at the people seated along the outer rows your mother politely mouthed small hellos and good mornings as all three of you made your way down the aisle, her normal vocabulary filled with a plethora of her favourite profanities not once leaving her lips. Turning your head you quickly spotted Tommy sitting next to his family with a huge grin on his face, loving every second of the embarrassment he knew you was enduring. As the sound of your heels on the stone floor echoed loudly through the church, your entrance now the focus point of everyone's attention, you finally reached the alter with the Reverend stood beside it. You could almost feel the laughter Tommy and Arthur were holding back as your mother pushed you forward to bow. With a grunt leaving your throat you lowered your head, a small mischievous glint in your eye at the sudden, yet stupid idea to prove to your mother how unruly of a child you really was.

" Forgive me father for I have sinned, it has been mere hours since I last pissed my mother off..." You said dramatically as your mother's eyes widened in embarrassment a gasp leaving her mouth as she grabbed you by the arm and span you back around, all while apologising profusely to the Priest now shaking his head at her. Oh the shame, the humiliation, she would never live this down. The gossip she would have to endure for months in the women's wash house was a fair consolation for her making you wear this god awful dress you proudly thought to yourself as you walked to find a seat. Sighing the Reverend lowered his eye as he turned the page of his sermon, longing to be appointed somewhere, anywhere out of Small Heath. No number of hail Mary's could save this sinful town. As you walked down the aisle the sudden sound of Tommy and Arthur laughing had you biting your inner cheek holding back your own amusement as you watched Polly snap her head in their direction.

" Shut up" Polly whispered as she reached over hitting each of them in the chest. "Bloody kids" she mouthed sympathetically to your mother as you all walked by.

" Girlfriend finally made it" Arthur whispered in Tommy's ear, knowing full well how smitten he was with you.

" Shes not my girlfriend, shut it" he muttered under his breath as you sent him a small wave which he quickly returned.

" Hi ya" Arthur laughed mocking him.

" Fuck off Arthur" Tommy replied as he elbowed him in the ribs leaving him wincing in pain.

" I'll let you have that one baby brother" he laughed rubbing his side.

" No fucking swearing in church!" Polly said quietly through gritted teeth as she hit the back of Tommy's head. It was always an eventful service when the Shelby's attended, which made you wonder what they had done to have their Aunt force them this time.

Walking out into the fresh air, free from the stuffy confines of the church you pushed back your hair behind your shoulders folding your arms as you faced the sun. Closing your eyes you sighed as the rays of light beamed onto your skin. With summer still a long way off you was enjoying the rare event in which the sun broke through the smoke filled skies of Small Heath. That was until you felt the warmth disappear and a large shadow take it's place. Opening your eyes you was met with Tommy Shelby standing right in front of you, a cigarette precariously hanging on the corner of his mouth, grinning from ear to ear.

" Get out the way you're blocking the sun" you said as you pushed him to the side closing your eyes again.

" Hmm, you are looking rather pasty"

" Thanks Thomas, you really know how to compliment a lady" you said taking the cigarette out his mouth as you walked over to sit on the brick wall just outside the church.

"Lady?" Tommy laughed as he sent you a cheeky smile." Nice dress by the way. You look like a flower girl"

" Shut up" you said playfully hitting his arm in response, hating everything about the overly embroidered puffy dress you were begrudgingly wearing. " Have you seen yourself?" you smirked looking down at his outfit "Think your Aunt needs to shorten those" you laughed as you nodded to the ends of his trousers bunched up around his boots.

" They're Arthur's hand-me-downs, the lanky git" he said kicking a stone on the ground that you both watched roll into the road.

" So what did you do this time to end up here on a Sunday morning?" You asked as you turned your head to face him.

" Aunt Pol found out Arthur stole one of the candelabras from the Reverends study. Convinced himself it was solid gold, you should have seen his face when we melted it down in Charlie's yard and it was copper" Tommy laughed as he looked back at you. " Polly was furious said he had sinned enough for the whole house and we were all damned to hell if we didn't come today" he explained further as his eyes lingered on your face, watching the way your nose scrunched up as you laughed, a sight he never got tired of. " So you coming later?" he asked leaning into you as he took his cigarette now stained with pink lipstick back from between your fingers, not that he minded.

" No absolutely not. Do you not remember the last time we followed one of Arthur's genius ideas?" you answered folding your arms having already made your mind up.

" He's got a map this time. Come on it will be fun" he said nudging his arm against yours.

" A map to what?"

" To where this rich fuck has all his liquor stored"

"Can I come?" John said running up to you both after overhearing the conversation, poking his brothers knee with a stick in attempt to get his attention which Tommy quickly put a stop to by giving him a kick in the shin.

" No, fuck off " Tommy said pushing him away from in front of him as John stormed off crying in search of his Aunt. " So how about it? "

" Fine, but only because it's your birthday tomorrow" you said giving in as you both smiled to eachother. "But this better be fool proof. I can't risk getting in trouble with my mum again, she's a few breaths away from kicking me out"

" That's alright, you can come live with me" he said winking to you as you looked up at him through your lashes, blushing a darker shade of pink than your dress." We'll come by to get you at eleven, don't be late ok? "

" I'm never late" you responded as Tommy rolled his eyes flicking his cigarette onto the ground. If there was one thing he had learnt over the years it was that you was always late.

" Thomas Michael Shelby! " Polly shouted as she stormed over to you both, dragging John with her by the arm.

"Shit. Right I'm off" Tommy said quickly pecking your cheek as he jumped over the wall running away from his Aunt. Bringing your hand up to your face you pressed your fingers to your skin, a smile dancing on your lips as you turned around to watch Tommy run into the back alleys of Small Heath, fleeing from the fury coming his way. Thomas Michael Shelby your best friend, your partner in crime and also the boy you had been head over heels for as long as you could remember. What a sorry story your limited love life had already been, endlessly pining for a boy you had convinced yourself only saw you as a friend, desperately hoping he felt the same.

It was just after noon when you Tommy and Arthur made your way over the wooden fencing onto the large mansions land. Having never once left the city limits in all of your eighteen years of life you was taken aback by the sheer size of the house in front of you. Surrounded by luscious green grass, rows of trees adorning its drive way, you was sure it was something only seen in films, a far cry from the mud and dirt of Small Heath.

" Give me the map" Tommy said as Arthur handed it to him whilst he looked over the brick wall separating you and the owner who was outside sitting in a garden chair.

"Arthur he has a dog. A mean looking thing" you said as Tommy stood beside you squinting at the map in his hand.

"Yeh well, he would have still been out with that dog hunting, but you were late" Tommy interjected with a smile on his face, having been right about your constant tardiness.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist Y/N, I've been coming here every day for the past week feeding him leftovers, he likes me. He won't make a peep " Arthur said trying to reassure you as you rolled your eyes at him knowing anything the eldest Shelby said was not to be trusted and far from the actual truth.

" Jesus Christ Arthur" Tommy said throwing the map at his brothers chest. " This is a fucking map for a house in London!"

" Ay?" Arthur said as he straightened it out in front of him. " Where's it say that? " he asked as Tommy snatched it back from him pointing at the words "London" written right underneath the name of the house.

" Well how was I supposed to bloody know. They should have put it at the very top"

" It's in fucking capitals Arthur, how can you not..."

" Right I'm going home" you said as the two brothers continued to argue. As always Arthur's ideas were never properly thought out, often getting you in trouble more than anything else.

" Wait Y/N no, come on stay" Tommy said as he looked back to his older brother widening his eyes in gesture to help him convince you not to leave.

" Y/N " Arthur said as he put his arm around your shoulder. " We're at the back entrance. He probably keeps it down in the basement, it won't be far. You're the only one small enough to shimmy through the window to open the lock on the other side. Come on, dont let us down, it's Tom's birthday tomorrow. "

" Fine. But if I put another ladder in my stockings you're paying for a new pair" you said pointing to him as Arthur placed a wooden crate below the window for you to stand on.

"Atta girl" Arthur said as he turned his head around winking to Tommy as you climbed through the window, quickly making in through to the other side. Pushing past his brother, Tommy went to open the door when the dog Arthur promised wouldn't bark suddenly started to do exactly that.

" Hey! Who's there?" the owner said as you all ran into the house. " Get 'em boy" he shouted as his dog came charging round the corner into the building.

" Fucking traitor! After all the food I gave you" Arthur shouted as you all ran down the hall, making your way up to the second level.

" What did you feed him with?" you asked breathlessly as you ran beside them, Tommy's hand resting on your back making sure you didn't get left behind.

"Sprouts"

"Sprouts!" You and Tommy both shouted looking back at him.

" It's all we had"

" No wonder he bloody hates you" Tommy said as all three of you came to a stop behind a wall waiting for a maid to walk by.

" Sniff them out" the owner said as you heard the sound of the dogs nails clicking on the wooden floorboards, getting closer by the second.

" Shiiit, run! Hide! Arthur giggled as you legged it down one of the second floor corridors, Tommy quickly pulling you into a small storage room to the side as Arthur continued to run down the hall. Breathless, you both looked up at eachother as a fit of laughs left your lips. Bringing his finger up to his mouth Tommy gestured for you to be quiet as the sound of the owner walking along the corridor quickly brought your giggles to a stop. Taking in your surroundings you suddenly realised how close you were to eachother. Cardboard boxes were stacked as high as the ceiling all around you, there was barely enough space for one person let alone two.

" Is he gone?" you whispered to which Tommy nodded, his eyes looking over you as he too started to realise how close you were to one another." You're taking all the space" you said trying to free yourself from the uncomfortable position you was in.

" Y/N my backs pushed up against the door. I don't have any more room to move" he said as you huffed in response moving your arm that was stuck between you to the side. Silence fell upon the small room as you continued to fidget in place whilst Tommy cleared his throat, his eyes darting between you and the surrounding boxes.

" What? Why do you keep looking at me like that" you said with a thrown on your face.

" I'm not looking at you like anything" Tommy replied as he quickly glanced away. With your focus now elsewhere, Tommy's eyes drifted down to both of your bodies pressed up against eachother, biting his inner cheek in attempt to rid himself of all the thoughts going through his mind. Taking in every delicate feature of your face, Tommy felt his heart quicken as he continued to stare down at you. God you were beautiful, he had been wanting to tell you those very words for years, wanted to ask you out, tell you how he felt. But unlike his old brother who seemed to have endless amounts of confidence when it came to girls, Tommy never found the courage to make a move. Instead he begrudgingly tormented himself, watching all the boys of Small Heath try their luck with you.

" You're doing it again, stop it!" you said squinting your eyes as you looked up to see him still staring down at you. " You're making me nervous"

" What else am I supposed to look at, you're right in front of me " he said with a small sigh. Just ask her you idiot, he thought to himself as he peered at you in the corner of his eye.

" Y/N erm, I was wondering..." he started to say when you grabbed his hand your eyes widening in a panic.

" Shh. Did you hear that?" You said as you looked behind him to the door.

" Its just a window blowing open" he replied as he glanced down at your hand still holding onto his. Throwing his head back Tommy shook his head, frustrated that the moment he had finally found the courage to ask you out you had cut him off. Bringing his eyes back down to look at you, Tommy took a deep breath. If he couldn't say how he felt he would show it. What was the worse that could happen?

" Fuck it" he said as he cupped your cheeks crashing his lips onto yours. For a brief moment you resisted taken by surprise at Tommy's unexpected move until your whole body finally relaxed and you quickly melted into the kiss. There was no technique to it, wet, messy, all tongues and teeth. But as your lips interlocked you felt a flutter of butterflies fill your stomach, your hands finding their way to his shoulders as Tommy enthusiastically pushed you back the few centimeters remaining between you and the wall behind you.

" Owh" you said as your head hit the wall, the thump loud enough for anyone to hear.

" Shit, sorry" Tommy said as a small giggle escaped your mouth at his overly keen display. Pressing your lips back onto his the kiss was smoother, a small whimper leaving your throat as his tongue brushed over yours. Moaning, Tommy's hand dropped from your waist to your leg as his fingers travelled under you skirt grazing over your suspenders. Things were getting heated, very heated.

" Wait, Tommy I've, i'm a.."

" Fuck sorry, I wasn't trying to" Tommy awkwardly said cutting you and himself off. " Wait, you're a Virgin?" he asked with a small smile etched on the corner of his lips his brows slightly raised.

" Why do you look so surprised? " you answered back, your whole face scrunched up in annoyance.

" No nothing. It's just I didn't think you was...you know" he replied unable to formulate his own words.

" Oh and you're not? You really think I believed that ridiculous story you told us all last summer about how you gave Irene five orgasms in ten minutes" you scoffed with a laugh as Tommy's cheeks suddenly went a crimson shade of red, his hands dropping from your waist.

" Jesus...thanks Y/N" Tommy said looking away with a huff unable to physically move away from the embarrassment surrounding him.

" Slightly exaggerated don't you think? " you giggled as Tommy looked back at you, his hands now on his hips.

" You done?" he huffed as you bit your bottom lip trying to hold back the laugh that was seconds away from escaping. As Tommy pressed his lips back onto yours the small giggle unable to contain itself finally broke free.

" Stop it, I'm trying to concentrate" he said smiling into your lips as he continued to kiss you, his hands roaming over the curves of your body when the door suddenly flew open.

" Oi oi, what's going on in here then? " Arthur said grinning at you both as you let go of eachother. Rolling your eyes you walked out the small room pushing past him the box of whisky and leg of ham he was holding. "Get to second base baby brother?" Arthur sniggered as Tommy thumped him in the arm.

" Fuck off Arthur" Tommy pouted leaving the room and his older brother in fits of laughter. Both barely out the door, your eyes widened as the owner and his dog turned the corner.

" You little bastards. I've seen your faces. I know who you are! You're those trouble making Shelby boys. And look, you've brought your little whore with you, that dead drunk idiot's daughter. How did you petty little thieves make it out of Small Heath, steal a car?"

" Hey! Nobody gets to call her a whore but us" Arthur warned the owner pointing his finger at him as Tommy protectively pushed you behind him. Now in a stand-off between the owner and his drooling dog growling at you, you watched as he unclasped the large metal chain from the dogs collar.

" Go on boy get 'em!" he commanded when Tommy grabbed the leg of ham out the crate in Arthur's arms, launching it in the dog's direction.

" My bloody ham!" Arthur said, furious his dinner had been tossed to the the very dog he felt had betrayed him.

" Run!" Tommy shouted as you all turned around.

" I'm calling the police!"

" Thanks for the whisky old man" Arthur laughed running down the stairs as you and Tommy followed behind him, mentally noting never to follow one of Arthur's ideas again.

Several hours had passed and you Tommy, Arthur and a girl he had picked up along the way were sitting around a campfire in the local woods where Arthur and Tommy's families two vardos were, sipping on the finest whisky you had ever tasted. You couldn't remember the amount of times they had brought you out here to camp, taking you away for a brief moment from the smoke filled air, from the memories of your father that hung over you thicker than any fogged filled skies, a grief you wouldn't have made it through without them. As you sat looking at the flames of the fire mesmerised by their orange glow Tommy glanced over to you, watching the flickering lights from the campfire cast a golden hue on your skin, desperate to be alone with you again, the kiss you shared earlier repeatedly playing out in his head.

" Come on love, let's leave them to it" Arthur said standing up taking his dates hand after noticing his brother staring at you. " See you in the morning" Arthur winked back to Tommy opening the small caravan door, squeezing the girls bum as they both entered. " If the caravan be rocking, don't come a knocking!" Arthur laughed as he shut the door leaving you alone with Tommy.

" Dickhead" Tommy mumbled under his breath as you looked away, biting your bottom lip at how awkward Arthur had suddenly made everything. "It's getting late" you said standing up as you brushed the mud and twigs off your skirt looking back at the other vardo.

" I'll sleep out here" Tommy said as he sat up throwing another log onto the fire.

" You can't sleep out here, you'll freeze to death. Come on, it's not like we've never slept in the same bed" you said only just realising how different this time would be.

" Right, yeh...ok" Tommy said clearing his throat as he stood up.

As you settled into the small bed you watched as Tommy took of his hat and coat, your heart rapidly beating as nerves started to mount in your stomach. Climbing under the covers Tommy turned to face you, his fingers coming up to brush the strands of hair away from your face. Leaning into eachother, both of you turned your head in the same direction, awkwardly banging your foreheads together, resulting in a fit of laughs leaving your lips as Tommy shook his head at you. It was quite possible you were the giggliest girl he had ever met. Relaxing you recomposed yourself as Tommy pressed his lips to yours in a tender embrace. As his hand moved to your lower back, pressing your body closer to his your breath hitched in you throat, nerves now consuming every movement you made. Pulling away Tommy rubbed his thumb over your hip, in an effort to help you relax.

" Let's just lay here together, yeh?" he said taking the pressure away from you, not wanting to rush you into anything you wasn't ready for you as you nodded your head, thankful for his understanding nature. Rolling onto his back Tommy brought you closer into his side as he stroked up and down your arm, happy to finally have you in his arms.

" I nearly forgot" you said as you sat up leaning across him to pick up your coat.

" Happy Birthday" you said pulling out a small gift wrapped in cloth.

" My birthdays not until tomorrow " he chuckled as he sat up.

" It will be in ten minutes" you said as you looked down at your watch, quickly returning your eyes to him pulling out a gold pocket watch from within the delicate fabric.

" Jesus Y/N...you got this for me, how? " he said with a huge grin on his face as he looked to you.

" All those hours pressing clothes. Took me almost a year to be able to afford it"

"Come here" he said bringing you into a hug as you settled back down into the bed together." Thank you" he added as he pressed a kiss to your forehead feeling happier than any win he had ever won at the races.

With his arm securely wrapped around you Tommy couldn't stop the smile on his face as he looked down at the watch in his hand, it was nicest thing he owned and the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him. Glancing at your wristwatch, Tommy turned the dials to the right time, when you took it from him turning it back a further five minutes.

" It's five minutes too late" he said watching you press the knob down.

" That way I'll always be on time for you" you giggled handing it back as Tommy chuckled shaking his head.

" Yeh just means I won't be on time for anything" he smiled closing the watch, keeping it tightly clasped in his hand as you nuzzled your head into his chest.

" Tommy?"

" Mm-hm?" he said as his eyes were about to close.

" What do you think we'll be doing this time ten years from now"

" The same thing" he smiled as his thumb rubbed over the curve of your shoulder. "Only naked" he said as he opened one eye looking to you.

" Tommy!" You said, giving him a small punch to the arm. " I'm serious, what do you think we'll be doing?"

" The same thing Y/N" he said with certainty as he tuned his head to face you. " You'll be in my arms every night from now on, that's a promise" he said as he looked lovingly back at you before giving you one last peck to the lips as you both closed your eyes, dreaming of the future and everything coming your way. Even though you were both young with your whole lives ahead of you one thing was for certain, in that moment you had no doubts that you wouldn't spend the rest of your lives together and every night in each others arms.

Ten years later...

Laughs and chatter of people enjoying eachothers company hummed around you as you sat quietly in the corner of the Garrison, the drink in your hand untouched as the night you and Tommy spent together this time ten years ago asleep in each others arms cruelly played out in your head. As a tear fell from your eye you looked up across the room to see the new barmaid sat tightly against Tommy's body, his arm resting around her shoulders. Tonight it wouldn't be you wrapped in his arms, tonight you would sleep alone as regret over decisions you had made weighed down your already broken heart. Standing up from your seat Tommy's eyes quickly darted to you, watching you pull your coat around you as you brushed the tears from your face, leaving the Garrison in a hurry unable to withstand anymore.

Clutching your coat around you from the cold night air you pushed the last tears from your cheeks as the pain in your heart dug further into your chest.

" Y/N" you heard your name being called by the very man you didn't want to see you like this.

"Yes Tommy" you said turning around as he waited at the Garrison door.

" I need you to go finish those papers at the betting shop for tomorrow" he said lighting a cigarette as he stepped a little closer.

" It's nearly midnight..." you replied as you watched him pull out his pocket watch to check the time. Quickly closing it Tommy clutched it tightly in his hand as he looked back at you. For a brief moment that's all he did as if the memories of that night had suddenly come flooding back to him. Maybe they had never left, and Tommy's heart was aching as much of yours, either way you could never tell, for just as quickly as his face softened for those brief few moments his demeanor abruptly changed, a scowl now spread across his face.

" The deadlines tomorrow " he said sharply looking to you as you shivered in the cold, your eyes red from crying.

" Ok Tommy" you said like you always did, at his beck and call night and day, desperately hanging onto the love you still felt for him. Without saying another word you turned on your heel heading for Watery Lane.

" You not going to wish me a happy birthday then?" Tommy called out as he watched you walk away.

" Happy birthday Tommy" you replied, the words catching in your throat, tears streaming down your face as you walked briskly off into the night. So much had changed over the years, so many promises broken, hearts broken along with them. But yet you still held on, hopelessly devoted to the man who promised to hold you in his arms every night.

NEXT PART

Tag list: @cosniffee @jonsncws @powellssaturn @jessimay89 @bruher @riseandreigns4u @mariaelizabeth21-blog1

#tommy shelby #thomas shelby #tommy shelby x y/n #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby x you #tommy shelby imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #tommy shelby x reader #peaky blinders #hopelessly devoted

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l4ndon0rris · 2 months

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A Love for the Ages CL16

A collection of short stories of yours and Charles unique love story through the ages (each short flashback in time will begin with the same intro you see below)

pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader // sibling!Pierre a/n: if anyone has any scenarios they'd like playing out for the teenage years feel free to send me your ideas <33 - if you want to be added to the taglist lmk

previous parts can be found on my masterlist

All eyes were on you, the white wedding gown that clung perfectly to your body, your impeccably crafted hair paired with flawless glowing makeup. There was no denying you looked ethereal standing at the altar gazing into his familiar eyes: those eyes that had comforted you, cried with you, looked at you with desire, had burned with anger and softened with apologies. The eyes that have witnessed dark days and brighter ones now bore into your own; you saw a flash of anticipation in them waiting for you to mutter the two words joining you together forever. Those eyes transported you back through everything that led you here, to this altar, holding his hands, about to embark on forever.

12 years old

You hadn’t become the most popular girl in school, in fact you were almost convinced that Pierre had even disowned you to some of his friends when they asked if you were siblings. Pierre was the cool racing kid who only carried a pen in his pocket and you were the girl who carried a backpack with every school essential. You weren’t blessed with talents like your brother but you made up for it with brains which you were sure had been knocked out of him in his many racing incidents.

The school bus home was never particularly fun but you always made sure to be prompt to the bus stop in order to get a seat to take the load off from carrying your books all day. Seats filled up around you, children piling onto the bus with an obnoxious amount of noise. Pierre and his fellow group of friends religiously occupied the back rows of the bus, ignoring you as if you were a stranger. His friends must have been as dumb as he was if they didn’t see a resemblance in the two of you along with a shared surname.

Your ears tuned in to one of Pierre’s friends unashamedly referring to you, “y'see that girl there - she’s in my sister’s class - apparently she got 90 out of 100 on a test,” - although his information had been wrong; it was actually 94/100.

“Charles! Mate! Come sit here,” Pierre yelled, ignoring his friends’ comment; Pierre would never admit it but he was glad you got the brains in the family. Charles was shuffling his way through the other kids standing on the bus. Glancing around the only available seat was next to you, you peered out of the corner of your eye at him knowing he wouldn’t embarrass himself being sat next to you. Charles still made time for you at the race weekends when he had time but there was no way he would commit social suicide in public at school.

“We’ll make room here mate, you don’t have to sit there,” Pierre instructed as Charles took the seat next to you. You felt your face flush as the pair of you sat crammed on the seat between school bags.

“You don’t have to put up with him, you know”, Charles whispered in your direction. You kept your head looking out of the bus window, more so as to not embarrass him by being seen speaking to you and to hide your flushed cheeks. “Think of all the embarrassing stories you have about him,” Charles lightly nudged your arm which made you look at him, he was evidently ignoring the name-calling being thrown your way from Pierre’s so-called group of friends. You glanced over your shoulder to see Pierre forcing laughter as his friends continued, when you looked at him you swore you spotted a tinge of regret in your brothers’ eyes. “If you don’t shut him up he’ll just carry on…” Charles was sounding eerily like your mother.

Perhaps he was right - something in you snapped, the years of Pierre’s teasing piling up and climaxing to this very moment; you turned around to face Pierre and his friends and boldly announced, “Pierre! Has! A stuffed toy! He sleeps with it eeeverynight! Sometimes he even takes it to the race-track for good luck!” Pierre’s jaw dropped, his life flashing before his eyes as his social life was about to dive head-first off a cliff all thanks to you. “And! He wet himself in a go-kart!” Pierre was officially freefalling. On that note, you turned back around, head held high absorbing the laughter, questions of disbelief and teasing that was now directed at Pierre.

You looked over at Charles, though he'd encouraged it even he was shocked at the extent of your outburst. Guilt was already taking over you, battling with the adrenaline flowing through your body. Charles eyes were wide open under his thick mound of hair, shocked but proud. “Oh God, Charles, please don’t tell my mum- I don’t know what come over me- Pierre’s going to kill me-”

Charles interrupted your rambling, “I don’t know what I expected but it certainly wasn’t that." His grin made you feel more at ease. "Just promise me you’ll never let people know I wet myself in a go-kart too.” Charles nudged your arm playfully, making sure to whisper the last part in your ear. His breath against your ear set your hormones alight that day; you sat giggling with Charles for the rest of the ride home, long forgetting Pierre’s social turmoil behind you.

taglist: @rana030@sltwins@janeh22@likehonestlysametho @littlemisssummer @ahgase99

#f1 fic #f1 imagine #charles leclerc fic #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader

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aineryeo · 2 months

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The Legend of the Blue Sea Episode 2: Once Upon a Dream

Chapter Synopsis:

Kenji still doesn't know that you've bonded with him, considering him as your mate from there on out. What he does, however, is take a bath with you as he inches on the edge of being the father of a cute giant pink baby lizard; where he makes the decision of keeping you around too. Just enough to investigate about your possible human personality, of course.

Themes & Warnings (Chapter):

Author Notes:

Okay I think this is going a little slow HAHAHA, I changed my mind regarding a few plot points but I literally wrote the ice bath scene at 4-5 am in the morning because I couldn't sleep. i keep DREAMING about it. like it wasn't supposed to be part of the chapter tbh but i think st. michael was giving me a sign !!

The Legend of the Blue Sea: Masterlist

Episode 2: Once Upon a Dream ⇾ Episode 3.1: Maybe This Time

“Mom? Mom…” Kenji sobs, there are small sounds of pit-a-pats from where he stood. Which was a community playground filled with colourful slides, swing sets, tubes, and sandboxes.

The playground however, was not as lively as you’d think. The weather was gloomy that day, the sun hiding behind rumbling clouds threatening to spill the water they’ve soaked up from the sea. Kenji kept looking around, yet he remained lost, the same as he was five minutes ago. To the seven-year-old boy, it was like five months.

“Hi,” a girlish voice cuts through the sobs of the only other kid around. “Why are you crying? The other kids here say that boys aren’t supposed to cry.”

Kenji frowns, lips still wobbling as he makes his reply. “I lost my mom…”

“Oh.” You hum, looking down at your mismatched socks, noticing how the boy visibly had brand-new sneakers. “Hmm… Don’t worry, I lost mine too.”

“Really?” The boy replies, nose still stuffy as he tries to wipe it with his sleeve. “Will they find us?”

You shrug. “My real one won’t find me.”

“Your real one? You have a fake mom?” Kenji asks, curious.

“I don’t know. I never met my real one.” You reply, walking to the swings and taking a seat. Kenji does the same, sitting next to you. “But I know my mom right now isn’t my real mom, so, I ran away.” You say all this with such a tone that didn’t contain much sadness; as if it was just a normal thing to do so.

“What? Why?” Your feet kick yourself off the ground, allowing you to move back and forth. Kenji follows suit, trying to match your force. Once he got the hang of it, he continues. “Are you not scared?”

“I am. But they don’t want me, I think.”

There are a few seconds of silence as Kenji could no longer spark up a reply. All you both could do was swing on the set together. Feeling like he has to say something, Kenji blurts out the first thing that came to mind.

“My dad said I should love kaiju even if he fights them.”

“Woah! Your dad fights the giants?!” You exclaim, digging the heels of your red shoes on the dirt below. Kenji only nods at this. His swing keeps going. “I think the kaiju are super cool. And Mr. Ultraman too. Is your dad Ultraman?”

“Dad says it’s a secret.” Kenji replies with a pout.

“Then, would you love a kaiju?”

The question makes Kenji stop, the swing set back in its still state as you stare at each other’s eyes.

“Baka! Why would I love—” Kenji stops, your eyes remain wide and curious. And despite the stormy weather, they still chose to shine. A heat creeps up from his neck up to the tips of his ears for reasons beyond him.

“...I’m, maybe?” He trails off, breaking your intense eye contact. He then mutters, unsure and low:“If they’re cute enough, why not?”

Before you could respond, however, you two started feeling the rain slowly drop down, seconds before it turned into a downpour.

“Ah! It’s raining!” Kenji exclaims. Without saying anything, you grab the boy’s hand, leading him into the plastic tube to hide from the rain.

“We can hide here while you wait for your mom.” You assure, you and Kenji sitting with your knees bent to hug yourself better. Every other second, you scoot closer to each other, trying to get warm from the cold breeze picking up.

It’s a few minutes more of silence, maybe ten or so, that Kenji felt like crying again. You heard sniffles from beside you, making you tilt your head to see his glassy eyes, tears brimming the edges.

“Dummy, are you going to cry again?”

“I miss my mom and dad…” Kenji says quietly, digging his face into the caps of his knees.

You breathe out through your nose, feeling bad for the boy.

“Here, face me.”

Kenji hums, still upset as he does what he’s told.

“You can’t be sad after this, okay?” You say as you lean in and Kenji felt your lips meet his. “There. That means I’ll be around when your mom and dad aren’t. So, stop crying okay, dummy?”

“You’ll… be around when mom and dad aren’t?” Kenji says after the brief kiss, not really processing what just happened. Both your cheeks and nose were a mix of warmth from each other, and cold from the rain.

“Yes.” Kenji continues to look at you curiously, waiting for more context.

“My mom and dad right now say that’s how married people are. They stay together even if no one else is around.”

You point your small finger to his face, he looks at it then back at your unyielding gaze.

“Especially if no one else is around.” You share the valuable piece of knowledge with Kenji who soaked it all in like you were a prophet. He nods slowly.

“Then, we’re married?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

The conversation ends as you two bask in silence again. This time, Kenji is the one to look over at you, staring at your sombre look towards the passersby covering their children with their umbrella; carrying them on their arms to avoid them getting wet. Your expression barely changes, but the way your eyes lidded lower.. it compelled Kenji enough to hold your hand, shocking you.

“Hey! What’s wrong with you?” You ask, mostly out of shock. But you don’t let go.

“I’ll be here too.”

You realise he’d been staring at you when he said that, making you turn away, resuming your waiting game as you squeezed his hand lightly. He squeezes back. The rain somehow felt more mellow.

Half an hour later, Kenji’s mom arrives at the playground with his dad, ushering him to their car. As Kenji was about to point towards you, he sees you running through the rain, cutting a corner, before disappearing out of his sight.

“What is it, Ken?” Emi Sato asks, carrying the boy in her arms as she checks for injuries, now in the backseat of their car. She glances towards where her son’s eyes were fixated, seeing nothing but the empty playground.

Kenji only shook his head, choosing to say nothing. All he could think about now was when he’ll meet the person he married again.

“Were you lonely, Ken?” His mother asks. He perks up to look back towards his mother’s worried gaze.

There’s only one answer dripping from the tip of his tongue, his hand tingling in warmth, remembering the soft embrace it had just minutes prior.

“No…”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Your lips were soft against Kenji’s slightly chapped ones, both your bodies stuck in the motion of the accidental kiss. There was a small spark of electricity that climbed up from the bottom of your spines, a tingle that's much too noticeable.

It was merely six seconds.

Kenji would know.

He counted.

Six seconds for you to pull away, five of you just staring into the other’s similarly wide orbs; four for Kenji to catch a whiff of that addicting scent he never noticed until now, and three before your eyes finally drooped, your head nuzzling his chest. Kenji's plain white shirt getting wet alongside with it before he feels your whole frame lose its tension, breathing resuming its slow and quiet rhythm.

Kenji remains quiet, his brain absolutely fried, staring straight ahead as he sits to support your weight, comparatively light for the athlete and occasional superhero, especially now that you weren’t a giant. His hands hover over the smooth expanse of your bare back, his legs spread, lightly encaging your snoozing figure. His mouth still ajar, not a word slipping from him.

Eventually, his hands meet the damp skin of your shoulder and the middle of your back, pushing your figure against him even more. He supports your head that was now resting on his shoulder, even as your hair lightly tickles his ear.

“Ken.”

The sudden call of his name from Mina finally releases him from whatever trance he was in. Almost forgetting the giant baby kaiju a few metres away from him who, surprisingly, had settled down; sitting on its hind, watching you and him with a curious gaze.

“I… Uh, yes. Sorry. Uhm,” He clears his throat. “Could you fetch us a towel, Mina?”

It takes only a minute before the ground next to him opened up, a mechanical hand holding the extra white towel was handed to the boy, who takes it wordlessly, working to wrap it around you as delicately as he possibly could. Taking note of your legs and arms littered in bruises and quite nasty wounds.

“I’ll take her to my room, watch over the baby for a minute.” Kenji says. “I’ll prepare the guest room tomorrow.”

“Sure, Ken.”

Once you were wrapped in the soft cotton, Kenji moved to carry you in his arms effortlessly, though he winces every now and then when he rotates his left shoulder a little too much, though it wasn’t that big a deal compared to your injuries. While walking, he would glance at your face, peacefully asleep as if you weren’t even hurt at all. He notes that your eyelashes were the same colour as your hair and eyes, that is, they’re all prismatic in nature; and with the absence of light, there is the absence of colour, where he understands your features much better.

Kenji arrives at his bedroom, setting you down gently on his king-sized bed, turning the duvet so that it covers you, he doesn’t think much of his sheets getting damp from your hair.

You remain unmoving, both hands rested on your stomach. Kenji finally takes a deep breath in as he drops his weight to the apex of his feet, crouching as he really takes in what happened.

His hands covers his face; lightly messing his hair in the process as an unexplainable heat pushes its way up from his chest.

Apparently, what happened smelled like Hinoki Wood and Yuzu.

“Ken, your father is waiting outside the door. It seems he has driven here in a haste.”

“Min— Shhh,” He chastises, stopping mid-call to lower his voice.

“I’ll get to it.” He whispers in reply.

Easily enough, he’s getting off his feet and shutting his door closed as he made his way to the front door. On the way, he starts hearing distant music and giggles from downstairs, along with flashing lights.

“Mina!” Ken calls out from the living room. “What’s going on?”

“The baby had begun fussing two minutes after you two went upstairs, I have discovered that she is currently happy with Doraemon”

Kenji sighs, “Okay, but keep it down a little. Dad might suspect something.”

“But there is something.” Mina replies.

“Shut it, Mina.” He interjects, Mina doesn’t reply, knowing that Kenji particularly has a difficult situation with his father.

Kenji opens the door, looking back to regard if the lights are still on, just as he looks to see that his dad was about to knock.

“Kenji,” his dad almost whispers, a relieved undertone transfixed in the simple call of his name.

In haste, he runs his hand through his hair, ears still catching the tunes playing in the basement.

“Dad, hey. Hey, what’s up?” Kenji leans in, slyly closing the door a little bit more, giving worried glances towards the glass elevator before giving his minute focus back towards his father. “How about that game tonight?” He plays dumb.

“Oh, thank God. You’re okay?” His father fusses.

“Yeah, you know. I’m good.” He allows a little bit more of his body to show that he really was good. “It was a tough battle. I’m a little sore, still recovering, but—”

Suddenly, a screech that Kenji knew was from the baby kaiju pierced through the air, making him reel back in defence behind the front door. His dad, the invader, moving a pace forward like a rook on a chess board made it easy for Kenji to spot the suspicion on his face.

“What was that?”

“Uh…” He needs to come up with something— “Uh, you know. It’s… Uh…” Suddenly, the lights behind him visibly changes. Green, blue, pink—

“That’s the.. The party downstairs.” He jives along.

Kenji fails to notice the swift change, the quirk of his father’s eyebrows. “The most magnificent creature on Earth has died. The last of its kind.” With each word, his father’s words become more punctuated with anger, hands flailing along with it.

“And you throw a party!?”

Red. For a brief second or two, Kenji’s mind, his thoughts, were clouded in red; an emotion quickly visible in his face and body.

“That magnificent creature nearly took my head off, Dad.”

This time, each word was not only punctuated in anger, but stomps that slowly but surely made his father back away from the shelter of Kenji’s patio, the rain dripping on the old man who could only recede and listen to his enraged son.

“I’ve barely seen you in twenty years. You chose this city and literal monsters over us.”

“No…”

“Then, you get hurt, can’t hack it anymore, and I get to come back and clean up the mess you made as…” Kenji raises his hands in mockery as he sings the branded tune the masses had placed upon his famous counterpart. “Da, da, da, da! Ultraman.”

“—Which I only did because Mom begged me.” Kenji pauses. “And you’re more worried about the monster. Classic.”

With eyes that sheened in a way that scratches at Kenji’s nerves, his father chalks up a reply. “No… I only wanted to.. protect you.”

It claws in his chest, a familiar wall that’s repeatedly been torn again and again, by the same person; enough so that Kenji could still feel the recurring pain, but no longer does he break down from it.

“But you didn’t.” He says, eyes glassy. “You didn’t even pay attention.”

The furrow in his father’s eyes disappear, a notable change; cognizant of his actions.

Kenji continues.

“Be honest. When Mom disappeared, did you even look for her?”

“I stopped hearing it.”

“Stopped hearing what?”

“Do you think kaiju have a special way of communication?” Tadashi asks mindlessly, spinning on his desk chair.

“All animals do, now let me sleep.” Hiro replies, covering his head with a pillow to possibly drown out whatever his big brother could mutter.

But telepathically?

Is there a possibility? Tadashi thinks, leaning on his elbows that rested on his knees, fingertips of his hands on each other.

And if he can hear it, why can’t Hiro?

Tadashi leans back on his desk chair with an audible sigh. If he were being honest, he didn’t know why he was suddenly so invested in the recent kaiju sighting. His eyes fixated on the smaller version of his whiteboard dedicated to his looking for you in the past three years hidden behind the shelves in his lab at Tokyo Tech. He often hides this side of him from Hiro. This side of him that’s… too dedicated in his search that definitely has been fruitless for years.

It’s simple.

The scene of the incident, a huge gap in the wall of the building where your personal laboratory was; a trail of disaster followed right after. Like many other kaiju incidents, everyone suspected that it had walked from the sea. Considering that the building was situated on the seaside.

It was late at night when it happened, you went back to your office because you left something and… that’s it?

You’re just.. gone? Now he has to grief over his sister who he had just spoken to an hour prior to your leaving asking if you wanted some ramen he was cooking because he was too busy studying for his exams and— Tadashi had to catch his breath even though he wasn’t speaking, feeling his heart beat a mile a minute.

They weren’t given much information past that.

The authorities say that they were just unfortunate that a kaiju had attacked the facility; no security footage, considering that the building was crushed in half. But out of everyone, the guards, other leftover researchers, they were able to leave unscathed while your brothers had to deal with the loss of their pillar; their big sister. Unable to even confirm if you’re dead or not, hoping that you’ll come back, even injured, to them.

Tadashi ran his hand through his hair for the umpteenth time that night.

Truthfully, he was about to give up. He was about to take off all the newspaper clippings, all the letters, all your bank records, any and all leads from his rolling whiteboard; erase all the theories, and maybe, just like his little brother always told him… to just.. move on.

But then, on the way home after Tadashi introduced Hiro to his friends at Tokyo Tech after getting arrested for that night when Hiro won one of many of his recurring bot fights, the invasive sounds of the oceans permeated through his mind; wrapping around it gently like a blanket of warmth, telling him, making him understand— that he had to go there. To you.

“Bioacoustics.” Tadashi snaps, getting his favourite cap off his desk as he runs down the door. A course set to Tokyo Tech.

He leaves, not knowing his little brother whose eyes blink open, a frown on his face.

We share the pain of her loss, Kenji.

“Yeah, right.” Kenji mutters beneath his breath.

A few hours have passed since his dad visited and left, a few hours into the morning. He hadn’t gone down yet, choosing to just have the time to himself for at least once today. A box of donuts beside him as he slumped down lazily on his couch. The distant sound of thunder and the whining of the baby fills Kenji’s ears.

He sighs heavily. Kenji knew that he stepped a line earlier when he mentioned his mother to which his father solemnly left right after he said the same words that were stuck in his head amongst other things. It seems like there’s too many things getting stuck in his head recently, and just for this day alone. How did he even get into this mess?

He was so tired, yet he couldn’t sleep a wink.

Kenji would walk around aimlessly, every other time going to his room just to look at you from the doorframe; still and unmoving, your eyelashes resting easily on your now dry cheeks. From here, where your fins and scales were hidden by the combined efforts of your towel, hair, and his duvet; you absolutely looked human. Maybe part of the 0.1% because of your inhumanely beautiful hair. A princess would fit. You look like a resting princess to Kenji. And he, with his dishevelled hair, stained shirt, and day-old pants, would probably be the fucking peasant on your feet.

Kenji disregards the thought, the shrill whine of the baby reaching his ears. He groans, head drooping down as his hand slides from the frame. Walking towards the elevator after getting his donuts, he heads down to the basement.

Mina, in a slightly panicked tone, explains the baby’s neverending screeches that added on to Kenji’s inability to sleep.

“She settled down for a minute, then started right back up.”

“Yeah! I can hear it!” Kenji replies, exasperated.

“She’s still scared of you, Ken.” Mina explains as Kenji puts down his box of donuts on the floor.

“Ya think?” He gets sassier by the minute, Mina thinks.

Looking back at the shrieking baby, Kenji groans; before clapping his hand with faux energy, walking a little further back to try a little trick up his sleeve.

“Hey! Hey, hey.” He calls out, catching the baby’s attention. “Hiii!”

“Let’s try this.” Kenji mutters, the baby still frowned, faux cries coming from its little— big beak. Kenji motions to himself, “Beforeee.”

Then, he bumps his head as he transforms into his alter ego. “After!”

When the baby caught sight of her other sole parent, a smile was quickly seen on her face.

“Before,” She whines.

“After!” She smiles, chitters crooning from her throat, visibly pleased.

And it goes on like that for a minute, enough so that the baby, seeing her dad transform in and out of Ultraman form, give off a confused expression, still trying to put two and two together. Eventually, her chitters come when Kenji is in Kenji form.

Kenji sighs as he approaches the now happy baby. “You see? It’s me.” He explains, turning around and sitting next to his box of donuts once more.

And it wasn’t even two minutes in that the baby started whining again.

[...]

After tending to the baby that Kenji creatively decided to temporarily name ‘Baby,’ giving her a litter of fish for an early morning breakfast— considering it was probably 3 AM by then, Kenji fell asleep on the floor in front of Baby’s containment unit.

And woke up to strange drops of liquid on his face.

“Eugh, what the…” His eyes, still squinted and opting for sleep, meets the hazy vision of the baby looking down at him, dripping drool. Drool on him, smelling strongly of fish and guts, and… and.. and drool!

Kenji rolls over quickly just before a fat drop falls directly on his face while his mouth was open.

“Oh, God.” He spits out, trying to wipe the substance off his face. “Ew! Ew!”

He scowls in a second, transforming into his Ultra. Baby tries to reach for him, but Kenji was already on the verge of throwing up from the stench, his fingers pinch the nape of the baby’s neck like she was a kitten. A disgusting trail of spit follows the baby around and Kenji keeps trying not to gag at every moment when he pulls the baby off the edge of the containment unit.

“Ugh, that’s disgusting.” He shakes his head, hand reaching for the lid of the unit. “Oh, that smell.” He looks at the baby who was so happy in return; tummy full from the meal he haphazardly gave earlier. But then suddenly she burped and let out a glob of drool, enough to cover nearly half of his Ultra’s face, luckily turning a little so as not to swallow anything. He coughs, really about to throw up. Quickly putting the baby back to the bottom of the containment unit, he rasps out a few more gasps and Oh Gods before putting the lid back on where it belonged, not seeing the baby try to reach for him.

“It’s so bad.” Kenji coughs out.

Kenji stumbled back releasing his Ultra-form. Crouching a little as he groans out. “I shouldn’t have eaten all those donuts.” He gasps, brain actively fighting to ignore the horrid smell surrounding him when Mina suddenly approaches him.

“Ken, I know you’re exhausted. But you have a game today.” He has a what?

“After last night? There’s no way we’re gonna play.” He shakes his head.

Mina moves back to flash the holographic news of his coach declaring that despite the battle, the stadium is safe, and we will be playing the game. Oh, bullshit. He is not excited to even see that Yakult Swallows fucker.

“Of cooourse. Of course, we’re still gonna play.” Kenji says, frustration evident in his tone.

“What are we going to do about the baby and the woman, Ken?”

“We aren’t gonna do anything.” Ken replies, shrugging, a mechanical hand giving him his Giants jacket.

“You are gonna have to figure something out.” He continues, putting on his jacket backwards without thinking, walking towards the glass elevator. “Get creative, Mina. You are a state-of-the-art supercomputer.”

The hovering orb listens as she understands the orders given to her; turning back to flash a different kids show towards the baby.

“Studies suggest this isn’t healthy for children.” She states, upbeat music overtaking the basement as the baby immediately fell in fascination of the bright colours.

“Ah, TV, the ultimate babysitter. Just not all this crap all day, okay? I don’t want her getting hooked on that stupid song.”

When finally arriving upstairs, the sun has already risen, he opted to take a quick shower to get rid of all the nasty fish spit left on him by the baby. When entering his room right after to get some clothes, he finds you still fast asleep. Not a twitch, not a hair out of place.

A towel still wrapped around his waist, Kenji decides to approach you in quiet footsteps. If only to check if you were still breathing, and you were, he confirms, after placing his ear close to your face.

“I wonder what your name is,” He says lowly, sighing and sparing you one last look before going to change and leaving for today’s game.

⌈ And there’s another strike. Sato just looks exhausted. ⌋

⌈ And now it looks like there are words being exchanged between Sato and the Swallows catcher. Oh! Oh no. We haven’t seen a brawl like this in a long time. Both benches have cleared. They’re throwing punches… ⌋

Now, Kenji was watching this morning’s replay of his ruffle with that stupid Swallows catcher in the middle of his living room. Watching as he sees a pathetic version of himself, missing strike after strike. A litter of bruises and small cuts on his face, his knuckles a nasty mix of blue and purple from delivering similarly menacing blows because of his undiluted anger.

He doesn't sense the silent footsteps approaching him in the dark room, head too deep in the failures within his past two days and the injuries he’s incurred so far. A whine falls from his lips as he tries to appease the patched bruise on his temple with the premium canned drink that mockingly had his once flawless face plastered on.

It was only when you were standing right beside him, dipping your finger in the ice did Kenji fully comprehend that someone was in the room with him. He yelped, almost sitting up.

“H-hey.” Kenji exclaims. “You're awake. What are you—”

His words die down from his throat, words turning to a gulp, when the loose towel around you drops to the ground, exposing you to the man who had his mouth agape, taking it all in before he realises he should be darting his eyes away.

You don't spare him a glance when you try to step in the tub, Kenji moving his feet to give you room, and really, to begin getting out of there.

I mean, he can't just bathe with you, can he? Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to take the indulgent step of bathing in the middle of the living room.

His efforts to go and step out are stopped when you gently place your soft hand on his rigid arm. You're quiet, voice unheard, but it seems like your sounds that blanket over Kenji's cortexes are working just fine. And it— you said:

Stay.

Like a puppy, he felt compelled to stay.

So he did.

You stared at him, and he observed your movements, the cooled can from his hand had long been forgotten as you kneel between his legs, your ice-cold hands dragging along his. From his palm, to the space between his fingers, to his knuckles and… Up, up, up, following the veins that decorated his overworked arms, the ticklish sensation made him drop the can from his lightened grip.

All the while you looked at him so earnestly, and in this light, it's like there was a brief flash of the more natural hue of your features; the usual iridescence dialling down a notch, making Kenji, among the other things you were doing to him, hitch his breath for the subtle flicker in changes.

The moment was quiet, none of you talking as the volume of the video he watched on repeat had been dialled down in his head. All it was in this moment was your touch on his, every gentle, slow drag of the freezing tips of your fingers on his bruises and scratches left such a sensation. Like electric fire on water, but also ice on skin on the hottest summer days.

Whether it was a spark or from the cold, or from something else entirely, Kenji at this moment, didn't care to know. Because your hands finally reached his collarbones, thumb rubbing circles on his Adam’s apple, and if you weren't so… so delicate with your touch, he would have blamed you for making him feel so choked. Like he couldn't breathe, like he didn't want to breathe anything else but the addicting scent you were giving off. You’d have to have been in the ocean for so long. How come you smell like this? Not of salt or fish, or—

He cuts his own thoughts off as he hears a small hum from your throat, his eyes that he hadn't noticed to be so lowly lidded already, on the brink of closing from your light caresses, widens at the slightest hint of your voice.

Your hand traces up from his collarbone, up to his neck, until you're perusing your way to his bruised cheek and damp hair. When you decide to leave your hand on his injured cheek, pressing a little, Kenji involuntarily lets out a whimper, the pain from the punch of that stupid catcher unironically catching up to him.

But even with this, Kenji finds himself leaning to your touch, eyes instinctively closing when the pressure returns to a light careen, allowing himself to delve deeper into the abyss you were taking him into. His cheek where your hand lay felt cool, a separate feeling from the ice, like it's carefully taking his pain away.

You move the slightest bit, hand pulling away; and Kenji's first instinct when his eyes shot open was to hold your wrist.

“Don't,” He whispers quietly, his cool breath fanning you who looked at him with your currently doe eyes in surprise. It seems that Kenji has a habit of not noticing things involving you. He didn't flinch from the closeness, a surprisingly welcome gesture for him. “Don't stop.”

For a brief moment, he forgets that you're half-kaiju, and that you haven't spoken a word at all since you two met. But when you rise from the water, bare chest seen for his eyes only, his other arm wraps itself on your waist subconsciously. Your legs and his tangle as he sits lower on the bathtub, allowing you to sit taller than him so he can bury his face on the curve of your neck and shoulder, dipping down to the valley of your soft breasts as he sighs in contentment, eyes closed all the while his arms wrap around your torso.

You were sitting on Kenji's navel, arms wrapped around his neck as your hands combed through his hair while you rested your cheek on his temple. It was quiet, not even the sound of the looping clip on the wall-to-wall TV was getting any of yours and Kenji's attention.

It's soothing, this feeling.

Kenji feels like you’re unravelling the knots on his physique, the pure sensation makes his fingers run along your slightly arched back in appreciation.

With his eyes closed, trapped in your soft embrace, Kenji allows the time to pass by. Not seeing the slowly pulsing, bioluminescent glow of the once normal water of his ice bath. The cooling sensation wasn’t from the ice any longer, but from the conduction of your healing enzymes, your kaiju features coming out strong, the brief reprise of your earlier change in features disappearing, replaced back into its original state of prismatic disposition.

“Ken,” Mina’s slightly excited voice calls out and Ken snaps his eyes open, the once peaceful environment long gone. “We have something to show you.” He groans when the chirps from below reach his ears.

When he pulls away, he’s careful not to let you graze.. him. You only stared in curiosity, wondering why he was plucking himself away from you. Kenji makes a point to only stare at your eyes, and only your eyes despite quite literally using your chest as his pillow not only a few minutes earlier.

“Let’s get changed, okay? Close your eyes so I can get out.”

Kenji shouldn’t be surprised that you didn’t understand what he meant, so he lightly grabbed both your wrists, still pointedly ignoring the curve of your waist, disappearing into the icy bath, and how you were so soft cushioned on his comparatively hard stomach. Honestly… how did he look past all of this earlier?

“Here, cover.” He says, holding your hands over your eyes, the fingers leaving an undeniable gap, which he would close. “Cover tightly.”

When he made sure you weren’t leaving your arms loose, Kenji moved to get up from the tub, his only guiding light is the TV, he scampers for his towel, wrapping it quickly around his waist before turning around to fetch you yours. Only to see that your eyes were already set on him.

“Hey! I said cover!” Kenji exclaims, already feeling his skin growing red from the embarrassment.

“You’re actually a perv, aren’t you?” He asks, but you remain quiet, simply observant of his actions. When he leans down to grab your towel beside the tub, his eyes dart over to his knuckles that were once purple. Now, it was back to his original shade of skin. His brows furrow at this and he immediately moves to touch his once painful temple, cheek, and then arm— until he rotates his dominant shoulder.

The realisation dawns on him as he looks at you, still a little worse for wear, only tilting your head at his gaze.

“No way.” He mutters. Kenji turns on the lights to the room, making you squint and hiss.

“Sorry.” Kenji offers you your towel, wrapping it around your shoulder. “Come on. Up, up.” He pats his arm for you to take.

[...]

When he got downstairs, you in tow, Kenji had a little pep in his step. Briefly forgetting the other reason he came down. You were currently dressed in Kenji’s old Dodgers shirt and one of his old boxers; the only few that would fit you. He thought it would be a nightmare to dress you at first, but you were a quick learner. Kenji only had to show you how he got his own shirt first before you followed suit and things went from there; of course when he had to show you how to put on his old boxers, it was decidedly… too much to show you how he does it firsthand.

So, he opted to put on the rest of his clothes in his walk-in closet away from your tailing figure. Kenji decided that he was lucky that his Dodgers shirt was big on you, enough to cover a good portion of your lower half so that when he instructs you to put your feet on the holes of the only other clothes he had that fit you, he wouldn’t be staring it at the face.

“We’re definitely going to need a trip to the mall.”

When the baby caught sight of you and Kenji together, she chittered, the massive fins on either side of her head lightly twitching as she smiled. Kenji gives you a brief look as you grinned so brightly at the baby, your hand that once held on to Kenji’s arm was now set on the glass container as you met the baby face-to-face.

Kenji smiles. “Mina, I have some good news.”

“Wait, Ken. Baby has a surprise to show you, remember?”

“Oh, yeah. Yes. What was it?”

When the music started playing, the baby started jumping, dancing along. But the foul odour took away the charm of the cute dance. So much so that even you reeled back, a scrunch on your nose.

“Oh, dear God, what is that smell?” Kenji exclaims, covering his nose with his arm.

“Ken, you cannot feed a 20-foot baby a half ton of fish and expect nothing but a giant pile of—” Shit.

Kenji’s gaze flitters to the green goo that the baby repeatedly stomped on in its little happy dance.

“Which brings me to something we need to discuss.” Mina continues. “Until I am able to find Kaiju Island, we’re going to need to raise her.”

The mention of Kaiju Island perked Kenji’s ears, he’d briefly forgotten how much he needed to send the baby back.

“And as for the woman…”

“No, no. We can’t send her back to Kaiju Island, she’s obviously not a monster.” Kenji stops. “But she does know Kaiju Island. She should, shouldn’t she?”

“It is a possibility.”

“Look, so far, she’s not acting wildly. She’s just a little…” Kenji watches as you peruse the shirt you’re wearing, seeing the peeks of scale glistering from your wounded legs. “New to all this. And she learns fast too.”

Your eyes catch on to Kenji’s and he waves at you lightly. You smile, all pearly white, at him.

“Ken, your heart rate seems to spike when you are around her.”

The statement makes Kenji reel back. “What?!”

The floating robot does not respond from her out-of-pocket statement however, opting to float towards you.

When Mina approaches you, you lean back, afraid of the foreign levitating ball. When the supercomputer emits the same cyan light, you run, all the way towards Kenji who huffs when you bump into him in your haste to avoid getting scanned. Your being scared was obvious as you hid behind Kenji’s back; you three were a little far from the baby now, mostly Kenji’s attempt to smell the stench less.

“What if she was a person before all of this, Mina?”

“There are no records or any news at all of cross-contaminating human DNA with kaiju DNA.”

“It would feel wrong to send someone that looks, acts,” not talks yet, but— “You get what I mean.”

“Then, we’ll just have to arrive at a compromise, Ken. Earlier I said that we must raise the baby,”

“Mina, I’ve got a whole season of baseball ahead of me.” Kenji digresses. “I.. I just can’t do it.” He turns around, about to leave and head upstairs.

For Ken, raising a baby was an entirely different responsibility than… teaching someone, he would reason in his brain. He wasn't going to raise you, he just needed to.. investigate.

You turn your head from the baby to Kenji.

“Ken, you brought her home and now she is your responsibility. I have observed that our other guest doesn’t mind helping you with her. In any case, she’s more experienced towards kaiju behaviour. So if you want to keep one of them, you’re keeping both of them.” Mina keeps going, and Ken can only stay quiet as he steps back with every self-effacing statement the robot made.

“They will both die if you don’t take care of them until they are ready to leave. Now, it won’t be easy, but I’ll do everything I can to help.” The bot asserts.

“We’ll have to continue feeding her, washing her, develop a strategy for taking her to potty.” This makes Kenji flinch, looking at the giant pink lizard who was giggling in the similarly giant glass container she was in.

“You’ll have to learn the five S’s.” Kenji trips back a little as he keeps walking backwards, back slowly to the containment unit.

“Swaddle, side, shush, swing, suck.”

The sudden rumble of the surroundings makes Kenji and Mina look back, your tail swashing as you transform into your kaiju form; Kenji’s old shirt and boxers on the ground beside you.

The night ended rather quietly after Kenji finished cleaning up and with you humming a familiar tune to put the baby to sleep. Along with coming into terms that he basically had a kid starting then. Now, Kenji was walking to his room, ready for bed. The guest room was ready for you to sleep in, and even after Kenji pointed the bed there, you kept following him. He grunts.

“No. You sleep there,” He points again, and you dumbly look towards his finger pointing. However, he reels back when he realises you flinched in surprise at his sudden action.

A weird feeling of guilt overtakes him, and he sighs. “Why are you so clingy with me?” He whispers, mostly to himself, really.

As he went on though, he no longer stopped you from following him. Eventually, he was lying on his bed. You stand there, waiting.

“Come on. Lie down.” Kenji pats the space beside him. The change in disposition is so obvious, your glee spreading across the room and wrapping Kenji in unreposed warmth.

You jump on the extremely soft and fluffy mattress, diving beneath the covers like a bean. A bean that eventually found its place on his chest, grinning widely. Your whole body hid beneath the thick duvet, your face the only thing peeking out. The sight made Kenji breathe out a chuckle as his hand lands on your head, lightly patting it.

“Thank you…” Kenji starts, your chin resting on the middle of his chest, eyes fixated on him. “You know, for whatever you did. I feel better.”

You may not have understood him word for word, but the message seemed to have gone through, ending up with you simply humming and smiling up at him, before your cheek replaced your chin as you begin to get comfortable.

For now, Kenji can allow this.

He closes his eyes, unknowingly basking in your warmth and the way your body seemed to melt into his.

Taglist: @moonjellyfishie @mochminnie @lovingyeet @vrxouei @secretyna

#ken sato #ken sato x reader #kenji sato #kenji sato x reader #ultraman #ultraman emi #ultraman ken #ultraman rising

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yuff7e · 3 months

Note

hey! You could make a male reader x Bakugou where they have an argument and their marriage is no longer the best, so Reader asks for a divorce and Bakugou regrets it and tries everything to achieve it not happen? (with a happy ending, please!)

˗ˏˋ you’re the only thing i want. ´ˎ˗ violence / angst / fluff

male reader (could be gender neutral)

hi h0osyy !! i’ll totally write this for you !! i love me some bakugo brainrot … jejwjwjr he js such a baby !! he got that sweet baby boy syndrome he js has a hard time expressing it guys trust he’s the best he js needs all ur love !! (╥﹏╥)

the cuties song -> www.spotify.com

“okay and what the fuck do you want me to do?!” katsuki yells at you from across the room, he’s thrown about items and was seething with anger. you just stare at him, it was never supposed to get this bad. you knew he had issues, you thought he was starting to get better.. but you were wrong.

you’ve begun to fear for your life as he punched walls a little too close to you, threw utensils that would fall not that far from your head, etc. you feared your own husband was going to hurt you.

that’s when you knew you had to get out.

as you stare at him his anger rises, “speak will you?!” he screams, taking a hand and grabbing his face - clenching his jaw. “why do you never fucking speak?!” this was another one of your arguments, another scary, loud, argument.

“katsuki stop.” you cross your arms, stiffly standing against the door - he just looks at you. “you want me to fucking stop? are you serious? you’re the one that started this you bitch!” he seethes, clasping both of his hands to his sides - “you make me feel like this!”

your eyes were filled with tears at this point, when you two would have these arguments you’d have flashbacks to when you were teenagers - how he would hold you as you walked through festivals, keeping you close. smiling in your ear and kissing your cheek every so often, telling you happy he was with you, how he’d never hurt you.

now look at where this has put you both, “i thought you got better, i guess i was wrong.” you blink a few tears away, them sliding down your cheeks. “oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me!” he bangs his fist down on the drawer beside him as he stand next to the bed you both share, you haven’t slept in the same bed for a whole week now.

you couldn’t even look at him as you gulp, your hands shaky and sweaty, your heart racing. you were scared, you knew this isn’t how a marriage is supposed to be. the more you think about the relationship you two share, the more you realize how abusive and unstable it’s become.

you’re a firm believer of stable, safe relationships. and this wasn’t one of them, you tried to say the words - but they just wouldn’t come out. you grip your arms tightly, your heart was beating so fast but you knew you had to get out of.. whatever this was.

“i want a divorce.” you croak, hot tears staining your face as you bring up a hand to wipe them away - you realized you hadn’t been wearing your wedding ring. katsuki turned around to face you, a hand on his mouth - rubbing his chin.

“yeah sure, go take a fuckin walk.” he laughs and shakes his head, putting his hands on his hips and turning away from you again. “im serious katsuki, im scared. you scare me, i.. i need out.” you confess, you were literally about to vomit.

katsuki stopped for a second, looking at the ground. he turned to you again, a more serious look on his face. “what?” “you heard what i said.” he stared, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “you really mean that?” he sounds a little panicked now, and he begins to walk toward you.

“yes and… please keep your distance.” he stops at your words, his hands had fallen to his sides and he looks absolutely crushed. he loved you so much, you really think he scares you? “what do you mean i scare you?”

“you just do, the way you act, the things you say. katsuki im fucking tired.” you sigh, you can hear him get choked up and you look at him. “what the fuck? no i.. i would never hurt you. i married you for a reason [name]. i want to be with you. i’m just.. tired too.” he admits, slowly walking towards you again.

you don’t stop him this time, he places his hands on your arms and you tense up. “please.. please god.. please don’t be scared of me.” he pleads, his hands began to shake.

you look at his hands and then into his eyes, he was looking down at your body - he couldn’t bare to look you in the face. you take a hand and place it on his and he breaks down, leaning into you. you break down as well, clutching onto each other in a desperate attempt to not run anyway from one another.

“i don’t want to leave you katsuki, you’re the only good thing i have in my life.. i fucking love you. i wouldn’t want to leave you but i fear i need to because of how aggressive you’ve been lately.” - “please don’t say that, you know id never hurt you. fuck [name] i’m just scared.. everything i’ve ever wanted has come true and im so used to everything failing on me.. i don’t want this to fail and… fuck..”

he grabs onto you tighter, burying his face in your neck - squeezing his eyes shut. “you’re the only thing i want, [name].” he sobs into you and you cradle him, hearing you being afraid of him is one of the things he never wanted to hear. “i want to work this out with you, im just…” you trail off, caressing the back of his head. he pulls away from your touch and looks you in the face, his eyes red and puffy, cheeks stained with tears. “im so sorry.”

you apologize and he touches your face with one of his hands, you don’t pull away or flinch you just stare at him. he leans in to kiss you and you hesitate, he waits - and you lean in too. he puts his hand behind your neck gently, holding you like glass in fear you might break under his touch.

“don’t apologize [name], this is my fault. i’ve been treating you horribly, i’ve been.. scaring you. that isn’t what a husband should do. i’m going to start treating you better from here on out - i promise, [name].” you look into his red eyes, and he looks back into yours. “i’ve wanted to be with you since the first day i saw you in that academy katsuki, and now that i finally have you i want this to work… so bad.” “i know, i know.” that comforting tone of his makes you tear up again, but he wipes the tears away.

“no more cryin’ .. we’re going to work this out.” you go in for another kiss and this one is longer, knocking the breath out of you both for a moment. you chuckle and he does too, “now you need to clean this damn room.” he blinks at you and looks behind himself, realizing how much of a mess he made. “right.” he looks back at you, “i love you.”

“i love you too, katsuki.”

—

REQUESTS : OPEN

#bakugo x m!reader #bakugo x male reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugo x reader #mha #my hero academia #mha x reader #mha x male reader #katsuki bakugo x male reader #angst #bakugo angst #sad bakugo :(#SAD READER :((#WAAAAHHH !!!#this is such a sad request omg #u did amazing tho anon LOVE U!!#yuff7e

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topguncortez · 10 months

Text

Are You With Me? | | Chapter 2

previous part | masterlist | next part

synopsis: Jake and Y/N sit down for an appointment about Ella's illness. Jake has his reservations about Miles being Ella's doctor.

word count: 2.9k

warnings: medical inaccuracies, childhood cancer, mentions of cheating, physical violence, trauma flashback, fighting, cursing

“How could you do this to us!” The shattering sound of glass filled the air, making everything around them go silent, “You bastard! I loved you! Why did you do this!”

She couldn’t see the little boy cowered behind the wall. His pajamas pants were soaked as he stood there watching the fight in the kitchen. He clutched his dinosaur blanket in his hands as he watched his mother fall to her knees in a heap of tears. His father just stood there, with his head hung low, guilt aching in his body.

“Did our vows mean nothing to you?”

“They mean everything to me,” He whispered out. She snapped her head up to look at him.

“But you slept with that whore! All this time while I was raising our children you were fucking some other woman!” He looked away from her, not being able to stand seeing the pain in her eyes anymore, “Look at me, George!”

He turned his head back towards her, “It meant nothing.”

The woman let out a laugh as she stood up from her knees. She shook her head as her hand curled around another glass mug, “It meant nothing. . . Did this mean nothing!?” She threw the mug again at the wall. The little boy jumped, covering his ears from the sound, “I’m leaving.”

“What?” George asked, his eyes growing frantic as she quickly moved through the kitchen, grabbing her purse and coat, “No. Jolene, let’s work this out.”

“I can’t,” She shook her head, going towards the built in desk. She grabbed a stack of blank checks, stuffing them in her purse, “I can’t stand to look at you. I’m leaving.”

“No, Jolene, lets-”

“I am done!” Jolene yelled as she opened the door to the garage and slammed it shut. George closed his eyes and hung his head as the familiar sound of her car started up.

The sound of crying broke George from his stupour. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked over at the wall where the source of the crying was. He slowly made his way over towards the crying, catching the little boy who stood there with wet pajama pants and his dinosaur blanket, tears running down his cheeks.

He clenched his jaw, “What are you doing up, Jake?”

The little boy lifted his head and looked at his father, “I-I need momma. I-I had an accident.”

George shook his head, and brushed past the boy, “Go to bed.”

— — —

TWO YEARS AGO:

Jake shouldn’t be here.

In fact, he should be anywhere but here. He never wanted his life to come to this, to be the lowly man sitting at a dumpy bar late at night. But he had nowhere else to go. He couldn’t go to the Hard Deck, Penny would call his wife. And he couldn’t go home to his wife either.

It had only been a couple of weeks since they lost their baby, and the weeks had been hell. Y/N tried to plaster on a smile and act like everything was fine, but Jake knew that wasn’t true. He knew that when the house went quiet after the kids were at school, she sat in the empty bedroom that would be the nursery and cried. Every time Jake tried to comfort her, she would push him away, not wanting to be touched or coddled. Her newest unhealthy habit was taking pregnancy tests, to see if maybe, just maybe, the doctor got things wrong.

“Another one?” The bartender asked, looking at Jake’s empty scotch glass.

“He’ll have another one. And i’ll take the same.” Jake snapped his head towards the sound of a female voice, “I saw you lookin lonely and thought you’d need some company.”

Jake nodded his head, clenching his jaw as the bartender set two fresh glasses filled with amber liquid. Jake didn’t even look at the girl as he finished his drink in one go.

“Whoa slow down there, tiger,” She giggled, “Nights just getting started.”

“Night is over,” Jake grumbled, slamming his glass down. He went to stand up when the female placed her hand on his arm to stop him.

“I-I shouldn’t have done that but I just don’t… Look,” She sighed, running a hand across her forehead, “I’m coming off of a failed engagement and my friends told me to just get back out there and I-“

“Thought I was the right subject to test the theory?” Jake raised an eyebrow and the woman nodded her head, biting her lip, “Well I’m not. I’m married.”

She frowned, looking at his hand, “I don’t see a ring.”

“Don’t need to wear one to be married to someone,” Jake pulled his wallet out of his pocket, setting down a couple twenties to cover his tab and leave a hefty tip, “Word of advice, sweetheart, you want to meet a guy? Don’t find him in a bar.”

“I’m sorry,” She her voice cracked, making Jake stop in his tracks.

‘I should go home. I should go home.’ Jake thought in his head, as he turned over his shoulder, looking at the girl with tears in her eyes. She was clearly out of her element as she sat in the dark dingy bar, and Jake wasn’t liking the look Earl was giving her. He huffed a sigh, as he turned back towards his barstool.

“One drink,” Jake ordered. The girl seemed to perk up a bit, wiping her tears and nodding in agreement, “I’m Jake, by the way.”

“Cassie,” The blonde said, holding out her hand for Jake to shake.

The conversation flowed easily between Jake and Cassie, and before either one of them knew it, one drink had turned into several. Cassie opened up about her failed engagement to her high school sweetheart who had knocked up her best friend. Cassie talked about growing up in a small town in Oregon, and how she had waited her whole life to get out and explore the world.

“What about you?” Cassie asked, “I told you about my engagement, my family, my college threesome adventure. . . so what about you? What about your wife?”

It was like cold water had been poured down Jake’s back at the mention of his wife, “Nothing to tell. Look,” Jake stood up again, “I really need to go this time. I’ll walk you out and call you a cab.”

Cassie shook her head, “No, it’s okay,” She gave Jake a small smile, “Thanks for listening to me.”

Jake smiled back at her, “No problem. Good night, Cassie.”

Jake drove home in silence, the events of the night weighing heavily on his mind. He knew that he shouldn’t have stayed out that long, that he should’ve been home to help Y/N with dinner and putting the kids to bed. But being at home felt like his own personal hell. He could hardly find a place in the house that was quiet with a four year old and a two year old running around. Y/N might’ve liked the noise and the chaos, but Jake was a creature of habit and structure. Not all the time had to be fun and play time.

When Jake pulled up to the house, he found it unsurprisingly dark. He quickly grabbed his stuff out of his truck, and walked as quietly as he could up the stairs. Jake checked on both of his kids, before going to his shared bedroom. Y/N’s sleeping frame was laid out in the middle of the bed, her face pushed into Jake’s pillow. His heart tugged a bit seeing her in her most vulnerable form. It seemed to be only when Y/N was asleep she was most at peace.

As if she could sense his presence, Y/N stirred in bed, her eyes fluttering open to adjust to the darkness, “Jake?”

“Shh,” Jake quieted her as he walked over to the side of the bed, “Sorry to wake you.”

“No, it’s okay,” Y/N mumbled, turning over to face him, “You’re home late?”

“Drinks at the Hard Deck,” The lie rolled off his tongue almost too easily.

“Oh,” Y/N nodded her head, “Are you gonna shower?” Jake nodded his head. Y/N pushed herself up on her elbows looking at her husband, “Can I join you?”

Jake swallowed, shaking his head, “Not tonight. Go back to bed.”

Y/N felt her eyes burn with rejection as she laid back down in bed. She couldn’t even remember the last time she and Jake had been intimate. Sex wasn’t a huge part of their relationship, but it was an important part. Jake had never turned her down as much as he had in the past couple of weeks. Y/N had never been the type to worry about Jake and his attractiveness towards her, but now she was starting to grow concerned.

“I’ll be right back,” Jake placed his hand on her cheek before leaning in to place a kiss on her forehead.

“Jake,” Y/N called out to him, grabbing his hand before he could walk away, “You still love me, right?”

Jake scoffed, “Of course I do, sweets. Where did that come from?”

Y/N shook her head, pushing the tears back from her eyes, ��Nothing. I just. . .I just feel a bit-”

“Well stop it,” Jake said, his eyebrows furrowed, “I love you, alright. You’re the one for me. You always have been, always will be,” Y/N nodded her head, as Jake pressed another kiss to her forehead, “I’m going to shower. Go back to sleep, I’ll be out soon.”

— — —

PRESENT:

“There’s a flower in my lungs?” Ella’s eyes were wide as she stared at Miles.

It had been two months to the day since Y/N had woken up to Ella coughing up blood. It had six weeks of tests, doctors appointments, needles, tears, and anxiety, all for them to get the result that they didn’t want. Ella sat in the middle of Jake and Y/N, while Miles sat behind his desk and Val protectively in the corner. Jake had his reservations about Miles being one of Ella’s doctors but Y/N and Val assured him that he was the best. There was no one better to oversee Ella’s care but him.

“How did it get in there?” Ella asked, “What is a lung?”

Miles softly chuckled, as Y/N shook her head. Ella had been in surprisingly good spirits despite the constant needle pokes and doctor’s visit. She remained her curious self, asking about how the MRI machines worked and what they needed a tube of her blood for. When the appointments were over, Ella went home and played with Alex and Eli until it was dinner. She hadn’t missed a beat, which was refreshing for Y/N and Jake.

“Your lungs,” Miles said, standing up and walking around his desk. He kneeled in front of Ella, a smile on his face as he talked to her, “Are right here,” He gently poked her sides, making her giggle, “They help you breathe. Remember when you come to the doctor in the middle of the night? And you were having trouble getting air?” Ella nodded her head, a sad look growing on her face, “Well, it’s because this flower is in your lungs, and it’s not supposed to be there.”

“It’s making me sick?” Ella looked over at her dad.

Jake nodded his head, putting his arm around her chair, “Yeah, babygirl, it is making you sick. But Doctor Miles here is going to make you all better.”

“Will it hurt?”

Miles looked at Y/N and Jake before proceeding, “It won’t be fun. We have to give you some medicine, and do something called surgery to take the flower out.”

Ella’s bottom lip wobbled as she looked back at Jake, “I don’t want it to hurt.”

“I know baby,” Jake sighed, picking her up and setting her in his lap. She nuzzled her head into the crook of Jake’s neck, her tears hitting his skin, “It’ll be okay. It’ll only hurt for a little while, and then you’ll feel better.”

“I don’t want it to hurt at all,” Ella sobbed, “Can’t you leave it in?”

“No, Ella,” Y/N said, moving to sit next to Jake. She gently ran her hand up and down Ella’s back, “If we leave it in, you will get sicker. And nobody wants you to get sick.”

Ella cried even harder, fully turning her face into Jake’s shoulder. Y/N closed her eyes, counting to ten in her head. While Ella was running around without a care in the world, Y/N had spent the last two months in tears. As soon as she and Jake put the kids down for bed, and Jake retreated to his new home; the loft above the garage, Y/N broke down in the solace of her bedroom. Her nose was rubbed raw from the constant use of tissues. Her eyes burned from crying. And her body felt weak from the exhaustion of being a mother and trying to wrap her head around Ella’s diagnosis.

“I promise Ella,” Miles spoke softly, “I will make sure it doesn’t hurt. I will do all that I can.”

Ella picked her head up from Jake’s chest, her little fist clenched his shirt in her hand, “You promise?”

“I pinky promise,” Miles held out his pinky. Ella reached her hand out, and wrapped her small pinky around his.

“Hey Bells,” Val said, pushing off of her corner spot, “How about we go look at the new babies?”

Ella looked at her dad with wide eyes before she scurried down from his lap and to her aunt. It was moments like these that Y/N was grateful for Val. Her ability to read the room and know just what she needed at what time. Once Ella and Val were out of the room, Y/N couldn’t hold her tears back anymore.

“I’m sorry,” She sniffled, “I just. . . I’m sorry.”

“What’s there to be sorry about?” Miles asked, grabbing a box of tissues off his desk.

Y/N grabbed several tissues and dabbed the tears off her cheeks. She was thankful that today of all days she decided on the waterproof mascara, “For this,” She gestured to herself, “For the tears. My daughter has cancer and I’m the one-”

“You are allowed to cry,” Miles said, “This is scary and frightening. In fact, if you didn’t cry, I think I’d be concerned.” Y/N chuckled and shook her head, “There’s that smile.”

Jake clenched his jaw, looking between Miles and his ex-wife. Y/N hadn’t shared all the details on why her and Miles didn’t work out, but it was clear to Jake that something still remained. He knew from Val that Miles was one of the best pediatric doctors on this side of the US, but that didn’t mean Jake trusted him. Jake didn’t trust him when Y/N was dating him, and he still didn’t trust him now that his daughter’s life was in his hands.

“So,” Miles said, “We are going to get Ella started with her first rounds of chemotherapy. Because she’s a pediatric patient, it is our protocol that we keep them here during the chemo session.”

“How long will that be?” Jake asked.

“First session will be eight weeks. Twice a week. This cancer can be highly aggressive and the best way we can get ahead of it, is if we are highly aggressive. Now, I will be the lead doctor on Ella’s case, but we will also collaborate with the lead of Oncology, Doctor Thomas.”

“He any good?” Y/N rolled her eyes at Jake’s question. Of course any doctor that worked at the UC San Diego had to be the best of the best.

“She,” Miles corrected, “Is one of the best. I wouldn’t have her on Ella’s team if she wasn’t.”

Y/N nodded, “Thank you, Miles. I’m gonna go see where Val took my child.”

“No problem, Y/N. And if you need anything, seriously, don’t hesitate to call me.” Jake tried his hardest to not roll his eyes. The moment the door had shut, Jake straightened in his chair and stared down Miles, “Look, I know I’m not your favorite person.”

“Not even by far.”

Miles rolled his eyes, “I am here to make Ella feel better. You and I want to the same end goal, and I can’t do my job if you are constantly against me.”

Jake scoffed, “Let’s make one thing clear,” He stood from his chair, “I am not your friend. I never have been and never will be. My wfie says you’re the best of the best, so I believe her. You better prove to me that you are the best of the best and make sure my little girl will live a long healthy life. We’ve already lost one baby and we sure as hell aren’t going to lose another one.”

“I will do everything in my power to make sure Ella lives a long healthy life, Jake,” Miles said sincerely, “It is my promise to you.”

“Good,” Jake nodded his head, “As long as you do your job and don’t let distractions dictate what you do. . . we won’t have a problem,” Jake flashed Miles his signature smirk, before turning around to face the door, “Have a good day.”

“By the way,” Miles called out as Jake’s hand reached for the door knob, “She broke up with me because she’s still in love with you.”

Jake felt his heart beat speed up in his chest as he opened the door and walked out without another word.

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448 notes · View notes

sc0tters · 1 year

Text

His Home | Adam Fantilli

summary: it’s Adam’s birthday and his debut in the NHL, little does he know you’re there watching

request: yes/no

warnings: sexual themes, p in v, oral (fem receiving), swearing.

word count: 3.07k

authors note: welcome back to what I like to call, kei told me not to behave (soft edition?). I’m kidding (sorta) this is a really different to what I usually write because it had a bit of angst in it? The first bit of regular italics are from the Adam birthday video that the bluejackets did and the second is a regular flashback!

It was the clip Adam loved rewatching the most.

You were sat in your dorm in his hoodie and his hat (a detail that only he would pick up on) as you smiled “hey baby!” You smiled as you looked at your phone “now I’ve tried redoing this like eight times now.” You confessed letting out a little laugh.

The picture of Adam on draft night that you had taken after you two snuck out to Dairy Queen stared back at you “I keep on crying and you really don’t need to see me get all snotty again.” You shook your head as the pile of tissues on your bed was beginning to build.

Adam couldn’t help but stare at you in awe as you nervously thought about what it was that you wanted to say “point is I’m so proud of you for getting this far.” You two started dating in October of freshman year and you swore you’d kill him before he broke up with you with before trying long distance “I miss you and I love you.” You confessed wiping your cheek as another tear fell.

As you sucked at your cheek smiling unaware that Adam was doing the same thing “you’re gonna smash it tonight, so happy birthday and play your little heart out there.”

You brought your fingers up to your lips “I’m so proud of you my star.” The video ended as your kissed fingers pressed against the camera ending the video like you did all of your FaceTime calls that you had with him.

Honestly Adam was surprised that he wasn’t sick of that video anymore with the amount of times that he had replayed it “sorry she can’t be here tonight.” Kent knew how upset Adam was that you were unable to make it to his first game.

What was the actual twist of the knife was that you hadn’t responded to anything on all platforms and went as far as to turn your locations off on everything “I just don’t remember making her mad.” Adam sighed as he frowned looking at his lock screen that was a picture of you two in front of the yost one evening.

You were in your Fantilli jersey and he had his arms wrapped around you as he kissed your head “she’s probably just stressed with that class you said she was taking.” Kent shrugged trying to keep a straight face.

The whole team had come together to plan this. The only thing that could possibly be making you stressed right now was the fact that you were trying to not get caught in Columbus.

Yes, the boys convinced you to change around some things as they felt like you being there was the birthday and debut gift that money truly couldn’t buy “I guess you’re right.”

Thankfully for you, Adam never noticed that you were there as you sat far away from his parents and family.

The game ended in a win and Adam was even able to get some points on the board so it was safe to say that you were all excited about more than just the win.

Wanting to give him some time with his family you stayed hidden for a bit mainly getting to know more of his teammates “you know he’s clueless about this right?” Kent smiled as he saw the excited look on your face.

Adam knew it probably sounded terrible but as he listened to his dad’s opinions about the game he couldn’t help it as his eyes wondered off to find you.

His brain hoped that by some divine act you were actually there.

And that was when he saw you.

Well not you, actually the top of your head “shut up!” Adam let out a gasp causing you to turn around in his direction.

Both of you had grins on your faces and tears forming in your eyes “w-what are you doing here?” He asked quickly pushing past people to making sure that he wasn’t dreaming.

As your flowery perfume pushed into his nostrils he knew that you were really there “couldn’t not be here tonight.” You mumbled holding your arms out as he pulled you into a hug.

Usually you would have groaned at how sweaty he was but today you just loved feeling him against you “happy birthday my love.” You smiled looking up at him before you placed a kiss on the hockey players lips “how long are you here for?” The hockey player wanted you there for as long as possible “fly out on Sunday my love.” So that basically meant that you had three whole days with him as well as another game to watch.

At this point the cameras had turned away wanting to give you and Adam the moment in private or at least as private as it could be for being stood out in the open “go get showered and then we can all catch up.” Julia proposed looking at her son as she wrapped her arm around you.

You had gotten to know his parents over the summer and nothing made them happier than seeing the smile on their sons face whenever he looked at you.

So you knew that you were going to sound bad when you thought about this because as fun as it was getting to catch up with Adam’s family and watch him smile as he interacted with his parents.

What you truly wanted was to be with him on the couch talking like you used to.

The Michigan air was cold around Ann Arbor but that wasn’t something you and Adam were complaining about.

No instead you two were comfortably on the couch in your dorm as your roommate was in a class “what are you thinking about?” Adam smiled as he realised that you were staring at him.

His thumb massaged your hip as his baggy basketball shorts left the area of your skin exposed “I’m gonna miss these moments with you.” You confessed as you two loved being on top of each other on the tiny two seater couch.

Before a frown could form on your lips as the thought of the draft came along Adam brought his face closer to yours “the draft is a long way away baby.” The hockey player cooed “so for now let’s enjoy this.” He added pressing his lips against yours.

So as the Uber let you two out at the door of Adam’s apartment building you couldn’t help but smile as you grew excited “are you guys sure you don’t want to come up for a bit?” Adam looked at his family members in the car as he wrapped his hand around you “you two should go have fun.” Julia clearly didn’t mean it in the way that flashed through your mind but it still made you smile as you send her a nod.

You two watched the car drive off before you turned to make your way into the building “can’t believe that you’re truly here.” Adam mumbled pressing a kiss onto your head as he took in the familiar scent of your shampoo.

His hand slid lower now resting on your ass that he gave a squeeze “Adam!”

You squealed jumping as you walked into the elevator.

That resulted in a laugh from the boy who quickly joined you before the doors shut “you can’t blame me for missing you.” His words were true as he locked his hands on either side of you “thought about you all day.” Adam confessed hovering his lips over yours.

A smile formed on your face “I did too,” as you leaned up to kiss him the doors opened causing an awkward meeting for you two with an elderly couple “I’m gonna need to you walk in front of me.” The hockey player‘s whisper sent shivers down your spine as you looked down to see that he was hard.

Trying to keep the giggle from leaving your lips you nodded adjusting yourself so that you could walk in front of Adam who now had one hand on your waist and the other carrying your bag “have a good night.” You sent the couple a smile as the boy forced you out of there as quickly as he could.

You looked to Adam with a teasing look on your face “you got a little problem?” You joked seeing that nobody was in the hallway.

Adam scoffed as he shook his head “not only is this your fault but it also isn’t little.” The boy corrected you as he stopped in front of his door “let me get your keys.” You smirked dropping your hand into his pocket.

If he could tell what you were trying to do then Adam was being a good sport for putting up with it “those aren’t my keys.” He warned as you palmed his dick between the fabric of his pocket and his boxers “I know.” You pressed a kiss against his ear before you pulled his keys out quickly unlocking the door to his apartment.

There was a spilt second before Adam practically pushed you both into the apartment “someone’s needy.” You teased watching as he dropped your bag pressing the door shut with his hand before he made a beeline for you “I know.” Adam repeated your words as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

Giving you a small moment to bring your hands to his neck before he kissed you. You two finally had that moment you had longed for where he could kiss you properly.

His tongue fought with yours as there was no longer the need to behave as someone was watching “fuck,” you moaned feeling his hands cup your ass “jump baby.” Adam didn’t need to tell you for a second time as your legs locked around his waist.

The walk to his room was short, not that either of you truly would have cared because you two were just enjoying the feeling of each others lips “god I’ve missed this.” The hockey player cooed dropping your body onto his bed.

You smiled up at him as he joined you on his bed still wanting to soak in the taste of your lips.

Sure it was etched into his brain but that didn’t mean that Adam wasn’t feeling this sense of being high each time he got to feel your lips against his skin “Adam,” you whined as his hands ran over your waist.

His smile was clear as he pecked your lips one final time “I wanna taste you baby.” Adam shook his head as your hand brushed over his cock.

You tried to protest “it’s your birthday,” you pointed out as you simply wanted to make him feel good “and all I want to do is taste that pretty cunt of yours.” Adam shot back as he shifted down his bed.

Adam hooked his fingers in the waist band of your pants “you look so fucking good today.” The hockey player gushed as he was met with the sight of your lace panties “you knew you were gonna get fucked tonight didn’t you?” The Canadian smirked as he let your panties slide down your legs.

Your head bobbed as you nodded “please A,” you pleaded grabbing at his sheets as Adams breath fanned your cunt.

To say that you were soaked was an understatement as even in his dimly lit room Adam could still see the way that your pussy glistened “gonna make you feel so fucking good tonight.” The hockey players voice was shaky before his tongue ran up your slit settling on your clit.

It was like he was starving at the way he locked his hands around your thighs “shit Adam!” You cried bringing your hand down to his hair gripping onto his locks.

His eyes caught yours as you drove your hips into his face desperate to get off in that very moment.

His tongue swirled around your sensitive nub as he brought his fingers to your soaked cunt “god I’ve missed this,” the vibrations of his laugh sent shivers up your spine as your body shook.

Sure phone sex was a thing but this was a whole new level.

After weeks of not being able to get off through phone sex as your fingers and the sound of Adam’s voice could only do so much.

You were now getting exactly what you wanted “I’m gonna come,” you groaned scrunching your face as your body shook.

Adam nodded as you clenched around his fingers “let go baby.” He smiled lapping up your release as he was reminded how much he missed this.

But just like usual Adam didn’t slow down his movements as you rode his face through your orgasm “n-no A,” you shook your head trying to bring your body up and off of the bed.

His smirk was clear as he continued sucking you clit “baby,” you whined literally pulling his head up as you kissed his lips.

Tasting your release on his tongue made you squirm “you taste so sweet.” Adam groaned as your cunt rubbed against his clothed dick “baby I’m gonna come and I gotta do it in you.” He grunted as you nodded.

It took him seconds to undo his pants as you pulled his jersey over your head leaving you in your bra “god you’re gorgeous.” The hockey player smiled as he grabbed the condom from his wallet.

After you two were caught up after a big game with no condom Adam now had one that lived in his wallet for whenever you two would need it.

Before Adam could rip the wrapper open you had your hands capturing it so that you could wrap it around his cock “don’t tease me baby.” The hockey player warned bringing his hand to your head as you kitten licked the tip of his cock.

His precum oozed out of his swollen tip as you looked up at him with a smile “giving you everything you want tonight.” You mumbled pushing the condom over his cock as you kissed his lips swallowing his moan in the process.

Slowly Adam’s knees sink into the mattress as he comes down to your level “I just want you tonight.” His confession made your heart burst with love and pride “you have me Adam.” You nodded watching as he pressed his hands against your shoulders softly pushing you against the mattress.

Adam let his lips start at yours showing you an immense amount of love before he moved them to your cheek then to your jaw.

His journey slowly continued to your neck “A-Adam!” Your voice shook as your eyes screwed shut.

It made him smile as he pressed a kiss to each of your breasts “I want to take my time with you.” The hockey player cooed rubbing his fingers in your hips as he kissed your stomach “Adam please.” The desperation in your voice made him smile as he stopped.

The boy moved up to the point where his head stood just above yours “I love you baby.” Adam mumbled pressing his forehead against yours as his free hand drove his cock over your clit before he let it slide into your cunt.

You both gasped as the familiar feeling came over you both “this cunt feels like it did just back then.” Adam let out a grunt as you nodded “please move.” You begged making him smile.

He listened to you beginning to slowly bring his hips away from you before he brought them back to yours “you feel so good.” The Canadian cooed as you lifted your legs up to wrap around his waist like it was on instinct.

Like usual he was always so vocal “don’t stop,” you pleaded leaning forward to kiss his lips.

Adam almost collapsed at your neediness “god you’re out of this world.” Your cunt clenched around his cock at those words.

The moment was soft, it seemed that you two weren’t interested in having hot and steamy sex tonight. Not when you had missed the simple sheer contact that you two were having now “so full.” You blurted out as you swore that his cock had grown as it hit parts of you had it had never seen.

The hockey player didn’t think that he was going to last long as you continued to drive your hips against his “I love you.” You cried as his hand found its way between your bodies landing on your clit “this cunt was made for me.” Adam groaned as you nodded “all for you.” You agreed as you kissed him.

It was needy as Adam’s thrusts grew staggered at the way you clenched around his cock “I’m not gonna last,” Adam confessed as he shook his head “me neither,” you cried as the pressure on your clit increased.

It made your eyes shut as the coil in your stomach threatened to snap “love those noises.” The hockey player felt his head drop against your shoulder.

The sound of your whimpers hit the walls making Adam sure that he was going to get an awkward knock on the door tomorrow from his neighbour “right there oh-” your voice broke as pleasure pulsed through your body.

It made you shake against him as your hands locked in his hair “so so good,” you groaned gasping for air as white specks painted the backs of your eye lids.

Adam’s orgasm came right after yours making you both sweat as you came down from your highs “you okay?” The hockey player asked as his hands brushed your hair out of your face.”

You nodded with a smile “yep.” You watched him throw the condom away in the trash can next to his bed before you made grabby hands wanting him to come back to you “I want a cuddle.” Your confession made him laugh.

Of course Adam listened as he held his hands out to you “happy birthday baby.” You mumbled as you lay your head against his chest.

The boy smiled as he ran his fingers through your hair “thanks for making my birthday one to remember.” He cooed enjoying how this felt.

With you in his arms he knew that one thing was sure.

Home for Adam wasn’t a tangible place, it wasn’t a rink or his childhood home.

His home was right here, you were his home.

#adam Fantilli smut #adam fantilli imagines #adam fantilli x reader #nhl oneshots #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #nhl oneshot #nhl imagine #hockey smut #nhl smut #imagines #oneshots #amber writes fics

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deliciousangelfestival · 3 months

Text

The Malicious Daughter Is Back! - 10

Character : Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Summary: It's just a business marriage. Bucky thought it would be easy until he encountered the stepsister of his fiancée. She turned his world upside down.

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Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter. Leave a comment and Reblog, please. I'd love to hear your thoughts. ❤️

Her heart pounded fast, the urge to hold back from throwing up overwhelming her. She hated you.

The smirk on your face is the same as the first time she met you.

Flashback Start

Back then, she didn't know she had an older sister. One day, Genevieve brought her to a big house. Her mother said, “Starting today, we will live with your father.”

Growing up, Victoria realized her family was different from her friends because her father never stayed a night in their small apartment.

She finally learned the truth when she stepped into her father's house. The grand entrance was so big, with a chandelier. She felt like a princess.

Before Victoria could imagine herself as a princess, she heard someone say in the lowest and coldest voice she had ever heard, “The mistress and her spawn. Welcome.”

Jonathan sighed, his expression weary. “Watch your words,” he said. He squatted down and rubbed Victoria's shoulder. “Don't be mad at her. Forgive your older sister.”

Victoria looked up at her father, then back at you. You stood there, arms crossed, eyes cold and piercing. You didn't move or offer a welcoming gesture. The disdain in your eyes was palpable.

Genevieve, trying to smooth things over, put on her best smile. “Victoria, this is your older sister. She’s just... surprised to see us.”

You scoffed, turning on your heel and walking away. “Surprised isn’t the word,” you muttered under your breath.

Victoria felt a lump in her throat. She glanced at her mother, who was trying to keep up appearances, but Victoria could see the strain in her eyes.

Jonathan stood, his hand still on Victoria's shoulder. “Let’s get you settled in,” he said, trying to sound cheerful, but the tension in the air was thick.

She always wanted an older sister. She takes another look at you.

You were on the top of the stairs, making you look down on her. Also, the way you bring yourself and the dress you wear. You look superior to her.

This is the first time, she understand the feelings of jealousy.

Since then, she live as an illegitimate child. The status bring nightmare especially because she move to another school. All the kids are humiliated her for being mistress.

While you have the status as a leader. Everyone likes you.

Except her. She hated you.

Soon, she realized that only in school that you could you act like a queen where everyone likes you.

Compared to home, you pick a fight with everyone. Even Jonathan ignores you.

She thought, what if you don't have any more friends? Money? Will you still be able to act tough?

This is the starting point when Victoria and Genevieve work together to bring you down. Genevieve will do anything to make her daughter win. Because she gives the name Victoria from Victory.

Genevieve knew she could became the Madam of Sinclair because of Victoria. Her daughter is the golden ticket.

Their plan was successful for a while. You got kicked out of the house and left with nothing.

But now, the situation has changed. You're back in your game.

Flashback End

Victoria's hatred for you only grew from that moment. Seeing you in her office, acting as if you owned the place, brought all those memories back with a rush of bitterness.

She had to accept the fact that she couldn’t underestimate you anymore. You were able to buy 40% of Velari’s shares in such a quick step.

It was all because of the influential person supporting you.

Bucky.

She couldn't beat him. Is this the day she's going to lose?

You smirked at her while she was at a loss for words. She turned around and walked out of her office, her steps heavy with frustration.

As she stepped into the hallway, she saw her mother surrounded by the other designers and tailors.

“Mom?” Victoria's voice was strained.

Genevieve immediately embraced her. “It's okay. Nobody here expected this. We're going to rally.”

By ‘we,’ Genevieve meant the designers and tailors of Velari. She had done a great job of making them mad at you, spreading false information, and stirring up resentment.

Victoria never thought her mother could move so quickly. She felt a wave of relief wash over her.

Genevieve looked at the gathered crowd with a determined expression. “We won’t let her take what’s ours,” she declared, her voice strong.

The designers and tailors nodded in agreement, their faces showing varying anger and determination. Victoria stood straighter, feeling a renewed sense of purpose.

👗👗👗👗

While everyone chattered outside, you were focused on examining the design sketches.

Even though you hadn’t been a part of Velari since both women took charge, you still kept up with what was happening in the company.

Flipping through the papers for the upcoming season, it became clear that this was not the Velari you once knew.

You stepped out of the office and were immediately faced with a crowd. They were staring at you, arms crossed, as if ready for a confrontation. Genevieve and Victoria stood behind them, watching the scene unfold.

You asked the employees, “Can I help you?”

“We don’t want to work if our leader, Victoria, is replaced by you,” one of the designers spoke up, their voice filled with defiance.

“That’s right. Someone with no background in fashion design can’t be here,” another designer added, their tone dismissive.

“We'll walk out if Victoria gets replaced,” a third designer declared, moving towards the exit.

They expected their threats to make you back down.

But instead, you replied calmly, “Sure. For anyone who walks out, I want your resignation letter today.”

Your words hung in the air, stunning the crowd into silence. The designers hesitated, exchanging nervous glances. They hadn't expected you to call their bluff so confidently. Even Victoria and Genevieve didn’t expect you to fire all the employees.

“You can’t do that!” one of the designers yelled.

“Without them, no one could make the dresses of Velari,” Victoria added, making the employees, who were already afraid, nod their heads in agreement.

You shook your head and held up the sketch designs. “There’s no more Velari. It’s all gone. These designs said it.” Then, you threw the sketches to the floor.

“Who do you think you are?” someone yelled angrily.

You sighed, “Bitch. I’m the rightful owner of this place.”

Everyone was stunned when you cursed.

“If you knew the true history of Velari, not the edited version, you’d know this fashion line was created by Cassandra and Ophelia. They’re my grandmother and my mother,” you said sternly, your gaze sweeping over the room.

“And now, with the 40% share that I own, I have the freedom to do whatever I want.” You walked slowly, looking at each employee.

Then you continued, “To be honest, you made my work easier. I want to turn this place around 100%.” If you needed to be the bad guy, so be it because you knew all of them were loyal to your stepmom and stepsister.

Genevieve and Victoria went pale when they heard that.

You could see the fear and uncertainty in their eyes. The employees, who had initially been defiant, now looked unsure. Some exchanged nervous glances, while others stared at the floor.

Genevieve’s composure cracked, and she stepped forward, her voice trembling slightly. “You can’t just change everything. Velari has a reputation, a legacy.”

You met her gaze with a steely determination. “And that legacy was built by my grandma and my mom. It’s time to return to the roots and honor the original vision.”

Victoria, usually so confident, now seemed small and shaken. “You’ll ruin everything we’ve built,” she said, her voice barely a whisper.

You shook your head. “No, I’m going to save it. I’m going to restore Velari to what it was meant to be.”

“Good luck finding a new creative director,” another designer sneered.

Suddenly, someone joined in, “She doesn’t have to worry about that.”

You turned around, surprised, and saw a woman who felt so familiar to you. “Andrea,” you said, your expression softening as you recognized her. She was one of the earliest designers who worked alongside your mother and grandmother.

It had been years since you last saw her, and now she had grey hair. Andrea crossed her arms and stood beside you. “It’s time for a change,” she said firmly.

You smiled, feeling a surge of hope and determination. With the support of this senior designer, you could revive this fashion line. You placed your hand on Andrea’s shoulder, and both of you walked back into the office together.

As you closed the door behind you, the murmuring outside came to a halt. The employees ran to Genevieve and Victoria, panic in their eyes. “What’s going to happen to us?” one of them asked urgently.

Both women looked just as uncertain. “The HR will inform you as soon as possible,” Victoria said, her voice shaky as she turned and walked away.

Genevieve followed, her usual composure shattered. The remaining employees were confused and anxious, realizing that the power dynamics had shifted dramatically.

👗👗👗👗👗

When Victoria walked out of the building and headed to her car, she saw Bucky getting out of his.

She approached him, “Is this all your doing?”

Bucky ignored her and kept walking, his indifference stinging her deeply. His concern for you over her was palpable. She grabbed his hand, desperate. “We need to talk.”

Bucky pushed her away, his eyes wide with panic. He left her standing there, alone and full of questions.

Why did Bucky react so strongly to her touch? She remembered how he never liked being touched by her. She thought of a friend who acted similarly because they were using drugs.

Could Bucky be using drugs?

Determined to find out, she grabbed her phone and texted someone who might have information on Bucky. Even a small detail could be enough to slander his name.

Late that night, her phone buzzed with a message. After the day’s humiliation, she finally had some good news. She called Genevieve, excitement in her voice. “I’ve got something to silence her.”

She clenched her phone tightly, a sinister smile spreading across her face. Finally, she had a weapon to use against you.

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Author Note: Hey friends,

If you've been enjoying the content, I've set up a Ko-fi account.

Your support through tips would mean the world and help me keep creating.

Only if you feel like it!

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maximumkillshot · 10 months

Text

"I Can't Lose You" Part 6

Warnings: Aftermath of a miscarriage, descriptions of grief due to losing a baby, Angry Everyone, Death is mentioned, Wanting Death, Shock, Grief, PTSD Flashback, Panic, there is a parallel to a person jumping off a bridge (NOT ACTUALLY)

Pairing: Bangchan x Reader

Characters: Stray Kids, Reader

A/N: Ok if you read the above, you'll notice that anger is in the warnings. This is the first half of a chapter that had me crying as I wrote it. This is something that you all need to take into consideration... I LOVE YOU GUYS AND I AM SORRY IN ADVANCE ONCE AGAIN. My asks are always open for you guys to vent about this one.

Also remember, this is a fanfic. All of the boys are so sweet IRL.

Stray Kids! Masterlist

Overall Masterlist

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE.

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

Previously:

He was mad at himself at those thoughts, Chris was so clearly into you so he used Bin’s insecurities against him… and it had worked. He thought about how all of this wouldn’t have happened and you and him would be happy together. That’s all he ever wanted for you. That was why he let you go in the first place. He wanted you to be happy.

After about half an hour of hushed talking, while Bin kept you relaxed, a set of footsteps walked down the hall. Just hearing them, Bin’s ears perked up. They had an authority to them, almost pompous in nature. Commanding… he knows those steps.

Now:

The minute Minho saw who it was entering the room his whole body went rigid, his hands in fists at his side as he got up and used his body to block whoever it was. He motioned for the boys to get closer to the bed. All of them standing, ready to jump.

“Just let me talk to her,” Bin’s vision started getting blurry, on the verge of blacking out with rage. He looked down to you, very unbothered by the sudden voice that assaulted the tranquility of the room. The first tranquil moment you've had in months. Months of your husband hiding and sneaking. And months of you planning and working excitedly making every detail perfect.

Bin made a split-second decision to lightly cover your ear that wasn't to his chest. Trying to prolong the inevitable.

Next up was Han as he said in a hushed tone, “she’s finally asleep. You are not coming in this room, Chris.” His tone was dark and that one sentence rolled off of his tongue like a warning.

“She’s my wife. I am going to see her whether you like it or not.” He sounded annoyed. Like this was an inconvenience. Bin did everything in the book to calm his heart, which was starting to spike at just hearing his voice.

Bin went on an internal tirade, how dare he come here? Killing your child wasn't enough? Making you so stressed out that you almost bled to death wasn't enough? Ripping your heart out and trampling it… not enough for him? NOOO let's show up when it's convenient, when no one expects it, playing the 'husband' card. When Bin knew he CLEARLY gave up that title already.

Especially when you did everything to be available for him. When he started to pull away you came to Bin and Han in tears, not knowing what to do. You love him so much that you actively went to find out what it was. Was it your weight? Did you talk too much or not enough? Did you ask for too much? Did you seem too boring? He has already been enough of a plague on your life already.

Minho giggled darkly, “You really want to die today, huh? Did you not hear Han, she’s resting. Now go away.”

“Not until I see her.” His voice raised slightly. The bite in his voice made Minho want to strangle him, to be honest. He doesn’t have any entitlement to you. Especially after what he’s done. As far as what Minho thinks, Chris was never your husband. No husband neglects their wife. No husband makes their wife lay awake at night, worried about if he had eaten or not, or if she’d even see him when she woke up.

That was enough for you to stir on Bin’s chest. Bin had to think quickly as he said "It's okay, go to sleep, Angel. I'm here," in the most delicate whisper. That was enough to knock you out again, humming against his chest.

Chris pulled back the curtain, even though Han and Minho tried their best to get him away. At that point, I.N, who was the closest to Chan, blocked him from your bedside.

“Get away from her.” He whispered, “She’s too fragile right now.”

Chris just looked at I.N. and said, “No one is keeping me from my wife, you’re lucky I even went along with it for this long. I’m not going to wake her.”

The venom in Chan's voice made the hair on Bin’s neck and arms raise. Not out of fear, no he could snap Chris in half if he was pissed off enough. His hair raised out of anger and knowing he couldn't do anything about it. The fact that Chan had the audacity to come into that room after what he did, knowing that you are fragile. That you barely made it out, and even now, you aren’t completely out. Yet there he was trying to force himself in. Like he had a right to be there, even though he was the one that caused it.

I.N looked at Han and Han signaled him to let it go.

Han knew that he was right, none of them had spousal rights. So technically Chris can kick them out, especially because she is still so weak, she can’t fend for herself or be able to sternly say ‘get out’ to her husband, not without consequences. They had no other choice.

Bin looked at Chan as he took a seat next to the bed, taking in your sleeping form. His heart was breaking at seeing how weak you looked. Your cheeks were slightly sunken in and your face was completely pale. The dark circles dominated your eyes, making your face look more like a mummy as opposed to a living breathing person. He looked at your arm with a blood bag hooked to it. When he looked up at Bin he could see that it took everything in Bin’s body not to kill him.

Bin just mouthed to him, “What the fuck are you doing here, get out.” The more that he looked at Chan the more he wanted to rip him apart. He looked well rested, smelled like he showered, hell he even did his hair. That pissed Changbin off. You’d think that he would at least look more disheveled. Given, he could see that he did look worried and sad. He didn’t look guilty.

Chris just ignored him and kept looking at you. Chris was transfixed on you. He was even more transfixed by your hold on Changbin. You looked like you were cuddling your favorite teddy bear. He remembered the last time you held him like that. Yesterday morning, when he came home to sleep for two hours, the minute the bed dipped you subconsciously reached for him, and he slightly rolled his eyes as he succumbed to his fate, smile on his face. You sighed so happily, you mumbled, ‘Mhmm missed you, love you,’ as you kissed his bare chest, and just like you’re positioned now, you were asleep. Now seeing you holding Bin like that makes jealousy more prominent in his mind.

It makes him sick to think about all of this as he plays with his wedding ring, thinking about not feeling you again, your hugs, your breath on his skin. The moans that’d he pull out of you, soothing his soul. The looks that’d make his heart stop. The giggle that’d be forced out even if you were mad. Not having the feeling of your skin on his, these thoughts make him want to die. He’s trying to actively ignore it. He’s trying to ignore the fact that he did something so disgusting, so unforgivable that he lost you. For him, it’s easier to be angry, angry and convinced that you’ll come back. That’s why he is doing what he is doing. That’s why he walked with bravado into that room.

He went to put some hair behind your ear just to have some contact and I.N’s hand flew out and wrapped his hand around his wrist. His jaw set. Bin wanted to do the exact same but it’d jolt you.

I.N. growled “No.. touching… get out of the room,” his brows furrowed, his usually soft eyes looking more like a piercing gaze.

Being the maknae, he has never challenged Chan before… At all. There’s a good reason as to why he is challenging him right now. Innah has always felt like he was awkward. He didn’t really know where he belonged in the team. Yes, he has a good voice and yes he’s good with choreography but he never really hung out with people other than Seungmin and Felix.

You being the person you are, you figured it out. He was watching one day, just seeing all of the members interacting, some of the older ones trying to bring him into the fold but it seemed ingenuine to him. Like he was the little brother that had to be included or Dad would get mad. You truly found the things that he loved interesting, really talked to him, and made him feel safe and welcomed.

There was one particularly hard night for him. Nothing went right that day and he was tired, frustrated, and needed to feel safe. He didn’t know where to go or who to go to. So he called you without knowing why. You picked up and the minute he heard your voice he started crying. You ran to his dorm. No one else was home, and of course, Chan was nowhere in sight. So you stood with him, talked, and cooked a midnight dinner with him. Got him to laugh, you both passed out on the couch after watching some anime.

After that night that no one knows about except the boys in the Danceracha house, I.N. was just like Hyunjin, except he’d do drive-by hugs, sometimes just falling on you giggling and looking for hugs and head scratches, like the fox he is. There were other times when he would just stand behind you, put his chin on the top of your head and say, “What are we doing here Y/N/N…. I am BORED” as he’d flop on you, “Let’s get Ramyeon.” You’d laugh and say, “How about this… you get through today… and Ramyeon’s on me.” He still smiles at those memories.

So of course, I.N. would fight King Kong if he had to if it meant protecting you.

Now, seeing Jeongin doing this, standing up to Chan, just to protect you, his Noona, made everyone that wasn’t Chan smile.

Chan stood up to his full height and said, “I just want to be here for her,” with a tight lip at the challenge of the maknae of his team. Chan can’t take the disrespect anymore. Even though he knows that he more than deserves to be treated like this and worse, he is still in that limbo of trying to convince himself that this didn’t actually happen or worse, that he can fix it.

Bin felt your grip tighten on him…

You said to yourself that you didn’t just hear that voice. You squeezed your eyes shut as you wiggled up a bit to bury your face into Bin's neck. You didn’t want the boys to see you cry.

The cologne you just smelled when you were on Bin's chest, that was Chan’s cologne. The voice you just heard, that was Chan’s voice. There was a war going on in your head. Do you talk to him? Can you talk to him? What do you say? What does HE have to say?

“Y/N?” Chan said as his body snapped to you. Seeing you now burrowed into Bin’s neck and chest.

It made the jealousy that he had before start to boil. That’s his wife, after all. Chan was your safety. He was the one you run to, not Changbin, of all people. Why does he fit so well next to you? Why does the feeling of you slipping away elicit anger at others, not himself? Why did he see you buried in Bin’s neck and not his own? It felt to him like someone was touching his favorite toy without permission. Why did she go to Bin for comfort and not him?

“Y/N, Baby?” He asked a little louder…

“Stop calling me that,” you responded to him, muffled by Bin’s neck as you cried in your own dark cocoon, that was what you imagined when in Bin’s neck. Surrounded by him, he’d never let anyone near close. He was your safety bubble.

Bin just moved his hand up to pet your hair back as you fought with yourself.

The only one who knew you were crying was Bin, who felt your tears on his neck. They felt like acid on his skin, he could feel the pain through them, the fear, the rejection, the grief. He hated seeing or feeling you cry. The fact that you were comfortable enough to trust him with your fragility was the only solace in this for him. He knew that no one could protect you more than he could. That’s exactly what he’s going to do, protect you.

“I’ve got you,” He whispered as he turned his face into you, trying to hide as much of your face as he could, to give you more shelter to cry in. He hated that you had to go through this. You would think that for even one second his bonehead bandmate would put his own ego aside for just one fucking day to give you the room you desperately needed. It’s not even like he could make the excuse of thinking that you are going through it alone. It’s clear that you aren’t, Bin always took care of you. Sometimes Chan thought that it was the perfect deal for himself. He was married to you, so obviously you wouldn’t betray him, and Bin was so in love with you that he’d move Heaven and Earth for you. So Chan being distracted was never the issue, Bin was always there. In his head Bin was like a Knight protecting the Queen in a chess game. The king doesn’t have to worry about the Queen.

Bin’s tone with you was gentle,“You tell me to get him out and that’s exactly what we’re going to do.” His face read danger, eyes never leaving Chris.

You really didn’t know what to do. You are at a loss really. You just got about half an hour in nearly 30+ hours of being awake. One thing you do know is that you are feeling your pain uptick at the thought of leaving Bin’s neck.

“Please, let me talk to you,” Chris pleaded with you. He tried to touch you.

Jeongin stopped him again, gripping his wrist. His grip was bruising in strength this time, “She did not say you could touch her. So you are keeping your hand to yourself. Either that or I rip it off, understand?”

Bin’s jaw was tight, if Chris made one more move, Bin was going to gently switch out with Seungmin, just to murder Chris, then switch out again so you could sleep, very simple.

“At least let me see your face, Baby,” Chris said as he yanked his hand from I.N’s grip.

Then you spoke again… your tone now carrying an authoritative air, “I told you not to call me that fucking name. I heard it enough when you were fucking her in our bed. Take that name and shove it, Chris.”

“As for seeing my face, you don’t deserve to see it after what you did to me. Neither of you deserve to see my face.”

“Give us the room,” Chan ordered. He was doing his best to keep his composure and to try to gauge how much control he lost of the group. He is very much aware of the fact that the power dynamic has changed. Chan knows that they don’t even respect him, let alone trust him. Another thing that he knows is that he would feel the same way.

He’s also embarrassed, not at what he’s done but at the fact that his members found out. The fact that he was caught with his pants down, both literally and figuratively. The fact that his members watched him do something so amoral was something that he was pissed off about. Not as much at the fact that he had no moral compass, but it was the fact that they reacted the way they did. They screamed at him, Chris, Bang Chan, their elder. They challenged his authority left and right. The fact that they’re rebelling only added fuel to the fire. He wanted, needed to get control back.

As far as he was concerned, this was all something that he could come back from. You love him, right? So obviously you’ll come back. You sunk 5 years into him, of course you’ll be back. There was far too many decent memories for you to check out now. You’re hurt, demoralized, angry, yes. However, knowing the peacekeeper you are, you’ll be back, he knows it. Why can’t they see that, why can’t they fight for him just as hard as they are fighting for you. Why can’t they get their noses out of his marriage and watch some K-Drama like they always do instead of driving a wedge further in between himself and his wife.

The frustration alone made him want to lose his composure. Everyone has their role, that is something he is an avid believer in. To you, Chan is the protector, he’s the one to chase all the bad things away, he is your husband. Changbin is your friend, nothing more. So it drove Chan crazy to see you relax in Bin’s arms.

He felt like Bin had no business in a bed with you. It being completely lost on him that he did the same thing, but worse with his wife’s best friend. Bin is not there to sexually gratify you, he is there to hold whatever’s left of you together.

Bin is trying desperately to reassure you, to look at all of your broken pieces and help you, to let you know that he won’t let Chris close enough to hurt you again.

When Chris ordered everyone to give him the room, not one person moved a muscle. All they did was look at you, waiting for an answer.

Bin whispered to you, “Do you want us to leave?” Internally he was praying that you wouldn’t want him to go. He as well as the rest of the boys don’t trust Chris as far as they can throw him.

You shook your head, “Can’t take it.” You knew that there would be no way that you could have this conversation alone, you’d be right back to square one. If you were honest there isn’t a way you can see this going well. You are still really weak. You can’t do much of anything at all yet, even needing help shifting in your own bed. Not to mention the person who did it to you is demanding an audience with you like you didn’t just go through a near-death experience and is barking orders at your boys. You couldn’t even scream at him for that.

Bin looked at the boys and said, “We aren’t going anywhere, Y/N’s orders.”

With that all of the boys had a seat, smiles on their faces as if to say try us, we dare you.

Chan’s face turned hard at that. It was worse than he thought… Not only did he lose control, he handed all of it over to you on a silver platter. Chan is an A personality type. He is very particular, one of those places he’s particular about is that he is the Alpha. He is the leader, the spearhead. So for everyone to do this, made him not only mad, but scared. He isn’t used to not being in control. That made his tone harsh as he barked,“Look, I know that you are in pain and I know that you don’t even want to see me right now, but we need to talk in private.”

Immediately I.N. bristled and took a step to him, Minho getting up and claiming the bottom half of the bed, looming on the post of it, glaring at Chan.

Felix growled, “Watch your tone, you aren’t the one calling the shots, Chris.” as he bore daggers into Chris’ forehead, standing at the ready.

You didn’t respond and Chan said something that made your blood boil,something he knew you couldn’t ignore, “It was mine too.”

It..IT?! Your heart cracked again as you left your cocoon, “IT?!” You raised your voice. You winced at the pain the movement caused. “MY child was not an IT… THEY WERE HERE CHRIS.” You grabbed your stomach, feeling your diaphragm scream at you to be quiet, your abdominals agreeing full-heartedly. “YOU gave up ANY parentage by fucking someone else when we were trying to have a baby for TWO FUCKING YEARS!”

“WHAT?!” Han exclaimed. Han started to see red, yet again… Han thought to himself, They were trying to have a baby for 2 years?!. Han looked briefly at everyone else, their faces set in the same murderous stare that resided on Han.

Meanwhile, Bin didn’t let that sink in, he was too busy noticing you started looking slightly confused and woozy. Whatever little color you had was turning more grey by the second.

“Y/N you need to breathe,” Bin tried to remind you. He tried his best to guide you back down but you weren't having it. Your anger taking control. He had a sinking feeling as his own heartrate picked up.

You thought for a few minutes and said, “I still can’t believe it, you know? It’s like last night was a horrible nightmare but, the pain, the blood… It really happened. My baby is really gone.” A stray tear ran down your face, “I don’t want to believe it. It hurts too much. But my body knows. It feels different. I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t… I can’t…”

Bin was watching your heart rate, the last time you tried to revisit this, you had to be sedated and apparently, Han is thinking the same thing. He looked at the monitors and got a bad feeling.

“I just wanted to surprise you, to show you how much I love you! To let you know that I am there for you and you repay me by emotionally cheating on me with my BEST FRIEND for a YEAR and physically cheating for two whole months?! NOW YOU WANT A PRIVATE CONVERSATION?! How is this for a private conversation.” You felt your body starting to fail again. The rage coursing through you is the only thing keeping you aware of your surroundings.

Chan went to look away, he couldn’t see you hurting this much. He couldn’t come to the realization that he did this to you. You screamed with what little energy you had , “LOOK AT ME YOU FUCKING COWARD!” as you held your stomach, trying to control the new waves of pain.

When he looked at you, you said, “Here’s a little private conversation for you. I’m granting your wish. You said to her ‘I can’t wait to leave her’... Guess what?” You gritted out, “I’m leaving you!” you started spiraling back into what happened not even a full 24 hours ago at repeating his sentence back to him. Hearing those same words in your head, seeing the blood, the reality of it once again slamming into you like it did before.

The minute that last sentence left your lips, the world slowed down for Chris. He saw everything, the wedding, the laughs you both had. Even the simple things like how whenever he got up, which was always well before you woke up; he’d stare at you, brushing your cheekbones with his knuckles. Watching your peaceful form and marveling at how effortlessly gorgeous you are. Now as he watches you, seeing the shreds of you that were left, he had a realization. He realized all at once that the person he loves and has always loved is dead. She’s dead, along with his child, because of him.

You started staring off tears freely falling, “I just want my baby… Bin, I want my baby.”

Your heart rate started climbing fast as you stared at your lap, seeing blood that wasn’t there anymore, then blinking and it disappearing, your face began to show distress, as tears started falling, and your mouth opened letting out rapid puffs of air. Bin looked at Han and yelled at him, "Get the nurses, go!" The next second Han ran out the door as the alarms went off on the monitors.

Bin looked at you and said, “Hey look at me, stay here with me, Angel.” Then he looked at Minho and said, “Clear the room. Get Chan out of her NOW!” Minho immediately started getting everyone up and out of the room as fast as possible.

Chris slowly backed up until he hit the wall,everything moving in slow motion. He looked at the monitor, seeing your ungodly fast heart rate. The fact that you could die right now from a heart attack made him want to collapse to his knees and start praying. Chris was watching how Bin handled you, tears were starting to sting in his eyes. He was shaking, feeling the gold of his wedding band as he watched a man who was so much more than he could be. How delicate he was with you. Why did I do this?

He was staring at your face, he could see it, the heartbreak. He wanted to help, to take all of it back. Flashes of memories flickered in his mind. All of the opportunities he had to be with you but chose not to. All of the times that you would try to save him from himself, even if it was as simple as reminding him to eat. He’d yell at you and tell you that he was a grown up. I’m not grown. You’d remind him to get up and stretch, to be present in the now. You always tried to connect to him, always tried to soothe him, always tried to bridge the gap he put in between the both of you. His heart felt like lead, sinking further. His voice, his legs, his body didn’t move. It was Innah who dragged him out of the room by the collar.

Bin looked back at you, “Y/N…” He could see, you were completely dissociated.

You weren’t responding to him at all, eyes glazed over as your heart rate kept climbing, you were glancing around, clearly confused. What he didn’t know is that you felt everything at once. You could hear him like he was underwater. Your vision was blurry, and you really couldn’t feel anything aside from the pain in your chest at the thought of anything, because you felt guilty.

“Angel, look at me, try to breathe for me. Come back to me.”

“They should be here, not me. My baby didn’t deserve that Binnie. I want to hold my baby!” You screamed, “I want to take them a bath, feed them, I want my Baby.”

Bin realized then that it’s the reality that’s so painful. Everything that was around you reminded you of the fact that you were living and your child wasn’t. He could see the pain on your face as he gently held your face, trying to get through to you. “I know you want to hold your baby, I want that too. I want that so badly but I can’t give you your baby, that can’t happen. No one can bring your baby back, Angel.” Tears were rolling down his face at seeing you like this. Your eyes were constantly searching as more tears fell from them, he tried to wipe the tears away as fast as they rolled down your cheeks.

Bin got behind you, caging you with his arms and chest. He pulled you flush to his chest and ran his hands up and down your arms as he slowly rocked you. He was trying to provide enough stimulation to get you back to being able to self-regulate. You were only getting worse as he watched helplessly. He tilted your head back to see you spiraling further down, “Binnie help me. I want my baby please.” You just wanted to let it consume you already.

You quaked as you wished out loud, screaming without even knowing it, “Please, just let me die, let me go, I want my Baby.” You knew it was the pain, but at this point, not having your child was worse than death. You screamed without fighting anymore. Sometimes the seconds would stretch as you screamed till no air was left to make a noise. Those sobs made you feel like your chest was in a car crusher. You couldn’t stop them no matter how hard you tried, but in your mind, there was no point in stopping them.

Changbin’s blood ran cold hearing you say that, feeling as if he got dunked in an ice bath. He choked on his own breath as he did his best to try to get his own voice to work. You may not want to be here right now, but he’s going to make sure that you make it. He looked into your eyes and they were completely dilated, you just lay on Bin’s chest as you made the decision. You were done fighting, the pain was too much. Bin felt it, he could feel the fight leave you as you went limp, crying.

He knows this feeling… this was the same feeling that he felt when you were losing consciousness. His gaze snapped to your eyes, no fight, no struggle. You looked like you were calling out to Death. You wanted it so badly. What was worse was that Death was answering, he could feel it in the room. Cold, dark, and looming.

His body went into overdrive, the shock melting into panic. He wasn’t going to let Death take you, “Han hurry up, she's slipping!” He screamed at the door. His scream didn’t sound like him. The sound akin to a bystander watching a loved one jump from a bridge. Watching the body disappear all because of one step. He couldn’t wouldn’t let you fall. He screamed as if he dove for your hand, the same hand that fits so perfectly in his, as you threatened to disappear over the ledge of that bridge.

Bin got closer to your ear, so you could hear him better, “Please don’t say that. I know it hurts, just stay with me, hold on. I’m here. Stay with me. You can’t leave me here, please.” Changbin tilted your head, so you could hear his heartbeat. Subconsciously thinking, If you go I go. He gently wrapped his arm across your breastbone, trying to provide some soothing pressure to your chest. His hand resting on your opposite arm, rubbing the meat of it in a soothing pattern. His other hand was petting your hair. The hold he had you in gave you someone to hold on to. As soon as his forearm rested you wrapped your hands around it, grabbing his hand as you dangled on the ledge.

“Binnie it hurts, pleaseee. Help me, it hurtss.” You sobbed, your voice cracking and breaking, a mirror of your soul. Bin continued to slowly rock you, “I know Angel, I know I want to take it away. Just hold on for me. Hold on to me.” He had no idea how he was able to be calm for you. A part of him knew that he needed to. He was not going to collapse so you could face all of this on your own. He refused. He needed to fight for you, and he would, for eternity if he had to.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

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zoesmp4 · 5 months

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PHOTOGRAPH “we keep this love in a photograph.” carl grimes x fem!reader

tags: angst, death, use of y/n, 8x9, some fluff

a/n: first angst, i was bawling my eyes out while writing this 😓. based off photograph by ed sheeran, lyrics r in italics. i hope ygs enjoy!!

loving can hurt sometimes. you never really understood how much until now.

FLASHBACK.

“we should do something.” carl says, fiddling with your promise ring which he got you. he saw it while on a run and thought it was pretty, “pretty items for a pretty girl.” he thought. you were sitting criss cross applesauce in front of him, him doing the same. both of his hands were interlinked with yours, giving light squeezes. “and what’s that?” you ask. “we should take a photo. you know for the future.” “for the future?” “like to show our kids.” you wanted to kiss him until you couldn’t breathe. did he really just say that? did he mean it? this boy would be the death of you.

“wait okay so- i just do a random pose?” you say, looking at the camera carl held in his hand. “up to you baby.” he never failed to make you feel special. you were so in love, and you knew he was too. “m’ ready!” “sweet.” he angles the camera to fit you both into the frame before you press your lips onto his cheek. his lips curve up into a smile before you hear the click sound from the camera.

carl held the photo of you both in his hand, examining every part of it. mostly examining you. the way your hair fell perfectly upon your face, the way your lips looked perfect on his skin. god, he just knew he was going to make you his wife one day. you giggled at the light kiss stain you left on his cheek.

PRESENT TIME.

you held the necklace you got when you were fifteen, heavy tears flowing down your face at a rapid pace.

FLASHBACK.

“carl.. you didn’t.” you say, looking at the beautiful silver heart locket in the small black box carl handed to you. “you like it?” he says, grinning from ear to ear. “i love it. i- you didn’t have to.” you say, your eyes getting mistier by the second. “don’t cry pretty girl.” he says, putting his hand on your cheek. “i love you so much carl.” “i love you more.”

PRESENT TIME.

holding him closer til’ our eyes meet. did it have to end like this?

FLASHBACK.

“carl you can’t leave me like this. i wo- i won’t allow it. this isn’t fucking fair.” you say, hitting carl’s chest softly. you were so angry, and sad, you didn’t know how to feel. “y/n you’ll be fine. i know you will. you’re a strong girl. it’ll b-“

“what about- what about the plans we made? who am i supposed to talk to late at night when i have nightmares? w-who am i supposed to cry about stupid things to? carl i can’t do this without you.” you started to choke on your words, the realization hitting deeper and deeper that you would never get to see, to talk to, to hold, to kiss, to love carl grimes ever again.

carl pulls you into his chest for one last hug. you embraced him tightly, trying to make the best of it while it lasted. he then cupped your face and pressed his forehead onto yours. “my girl, my y/n, i love you.”

PRESENT TIME.

you kept his last words deep within your soul. your hands quivered as you slowly opened the piece of paper which carl left for you. your heart stopped when you saw his handwriting. all of his words written on the paper. you wished it could’ve lasted longer. you wished you had more time with him.

“my dearest y/n. i remember when we first met. you looked so scared. you were always quiet, always alone. i felt so bad for you. i would always admire from afar, watching the wind blow through your hair. you were so pretty. i don’t know how i ended up having you as my girlfriend, but it’s the best thing i could’ve ever experienced.

i know you’re sad. i know you’re angry. i’m frustrated too. i meant it when i said i wanted to show the photos to our kids. i meant it every single time i said i love you. because i am truly in love with you. every part of you. and nothing will ever change that. in another lifetime we will reunite once again. i will always be with you. don’t ever be scared. we keep this love in a photograph. we made all of these memories for ourselves.

so you can keep me, hidden in the pocket of your ripped jeans. you won’t ever be alone. wait for me to come home.”

you look at the photo which fell to the floor while you were reading the letter. quiet laughs mixed with sobs come out of your mouth when you remember that day. forever you will have this memory. captured in a photograph.

#carl grimes #carl grimes x reader #the walking dead #twd #carl grimes fluff #carl grimes x fem!reader #carl grimes x y/n #twd x reader #carl grimes oneshots #carl grimes x y/n smut #carl grimes x reader smut #carl grimes angst #twd fluff #twd imagines #twd oneshot #carl grimes fanfiction

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writingroom21 · 4 months

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The Nanny

Pairing: Rafe x Nanny Reader

Summary: Being Wheezie's nanny was great. The only downside was dealing with the oldest Cameron, Rafe. What happens when his fascination with the nanny becomes a reality?

Warnings: Angst, hurt, slight mentions of toxic family, (let me know if I missed any)

Wc: 6.2K

A/N: I'm sorry in advance for any heart ache

Chapter 6: Living for a Sunny day

“Who was that?” Sofia asks. Rafe just stands there watching you walk off, looking around meeting the eyes of everyone watching. A hand lands on his chest, the voice swatting the haze away in his mind. “Rafe, who was that?” He looks down to look at Sofia, he notices how her eyes don’t have the same golden flecks yours do. He searches her face trying to find something that would chase the thoughts of you out of his mind. Coming up short Rafe takes her hand off his chest, moving out of her grasp. “I gotta go.”

“Are you serious right now? You’re just going to run off to some other chick?” Sofia’s words rub Rafe the wrong way. Couldn’t she see that she was the other chick not the other way around. “Yeah I am. She’s not the other chick you are.” Rafe starts to chase after you, the bodies of people making it hard to get through. When he gets to the parking lot he can’t find your car. Knowing that you are probably home he gets in his truck, racing out to the street. The car ride was filled with silence, the only noise coming from his thoughts that won’t stop.

How could you fuck this up? This is why you are worthless, can’t even stop yourself from being stupid. Worthless that’s all he is. Not enough for his fathers love, his sisters, now you, he will never be good enough. His fist slaps on the wheel, the coke in his system fueling the rage he already feels inside him. The lights of the streets are just blurs due to how fast he’s going, not caring that he could be pulled over. He needs to see you. At least explain to you why he did it. You have to understand right?

Tanny Hill comes into view, all the lights are out making him more nervous. Getting inside the house he doesn’t hear anything but your car is still in the driveway. The walk to the front door to the second floor where your room is takes forever. At the top of the stairs he can hear some music, so faint that it barely caught his attention. He knocks on the door then again when you don’t answer. “Please open the door. We need to talk.” Silence. The only sign of life on the other side coming from your music. Rafe jiggles the door knob, trying to force his way in. “Come on sunny open the fucking door.” Nothing.

Rafe’s fist starts pounding on the door, the other still trying to open it. “Open this fucking door right not. I swear to god I will knock it off its hinges.” His voice is shouting now, his side making contact with the door. “It didn’t even mean anything. Are you really going to just ignore me over something so fucking stupid.” The more you ignore him, the harder it is for him to keep his cool. He kicks the door only stopping once he hears you crying. Placing his forehead on the door he takes a deep breath. “Please, baby. Just…just open the door.”

On the other side you are curled in a ball, hands over your ears trying to block the noise out. Flashbacks to when your father would yell at you come rushing back. Every argument playing in your head only makes the tears worse. “Please.” It sounds so pathetic, the pleading in his voice. He’s like a little kid again, begging his dad to love him, to show him any ounce of compassion after his mother died. “Please don’t leave me Sunny.” He stands there for a few minutes, waiting to see if you will finally open the door for him. When he realizes that you won't, he breaks.

Tears well in his eyes as he backs up, going to his room to regulate himself. The door slams behind him, shaking the frame. Rafe’s pacing around, his hand digging into his head, slapping himself to get out of this. Nothing works. The tears are now falling, staining his cheeks before he has a chance to wipe them away. Walking further into the room he notices something on his bedside table, it was empty this morning just a picture frame on it. Walking close he sees it’s the necklace. He picks it up, the burning in his eyes and throat intensifying. He slams the necklace back down, grabbing the frame and throwing it against the far wall. “FUCK!” He goes around the room, grabbing whatever he can just to throw it. Thinking if he can’t let the anger out everything will be fine in the morning.

The room is a mess. Broken glass liters the floor, stabbing into the soles of his shoes but he doesn’t care. He lays in his bed, the same sheets for when you both slept there. They still smell like you. He grabs the pillow you slept on, hugging it to his chest to get some comfort in you. Knowing that what he did would change the relationship for the worst. He falls asleep wishing that the night never happened, that he just waited for you instead of going to the bonfire by himself. No matter how much he wished for it, nothing will change. In the morning he will still be the failure he always was.

You wait until you can’t hear anything from the other end of the hall. Slowly getting up you start to pack a bag. Throwing whatever you can find into it and quietly leave your room. You sneak past his room down the stairs willing your footsteps to be quiet enough so he won’t hear. Making it out of the house you race to your car, starting it and leaving before he notices that you left. You can’t go back home, you still haven’t talked to your parents after you said you won’t be given them money. The texts you sent were left unanswered letting you know that you don’t have a place there anymore. If you’re honest you only think they kept talking to you because you would give them everything they asked.

You just drive not really knowing where you will go. You guess that sleeping in the car would be fine but you would rather not have cops knocking on your window and running off to tell Ward. The next thought is Sarah. She’s most likely at John B’s with the rest of the pogues. Before you even know it you are parked in front of his house, then out the car and knocking on the door. If anyone saw the tears on your face they didn’t mention it, welcoming you with open arms.

✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶

The sun creeps in through the windows, beaming down on your face waking you up. The first thing you notice is the lumpy couch you were sleeping on. Then the dull headache forming behind your eyes, dehydrated from all of the crying. Finally you hear their voices, all of them talking in the kitchen as John B makes the gang something to eat. Your body just lays there, not wanting to get up and face the music. Last night memories flooding into your thoughts. Rafe’s hands all over Sofia, the way he agreed to leave with her. As if he wasn’t just in you a few hours before. Like he didn’t tell you how much he hated the thought of you with someone else. It’s his game isn’t it? He makes a girl feel special and once he’s done with her he’s onto the next. You weren’t any different from them. Why you thought he changed will just continue to be a mystery.

“Sleeping Beauty is up.” JJ’s voice carries into the living room. “Dude shut up.” Kie swats the backside of his head. “Damn my bad.” JJ replies while rubbing where she hit him. You sit up on the couch bringing your legs to your chest as the group makes their way over to you. “Hi.” your voice is weak, it doesn’t even sound like you. They all sit around you, Sarah handing you a glass of water and a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon. “Sorry, don't really have much around the place.” You just smile at the Routledge boy thanking him for the food.

“What happened?” Sarah asks. “No, I don’t wanna talk about it.” Everyone just looks at you, sharing glances. “Well, something had to have happened. You came here at 2 o’clock in the morning crying and asking me if you could stay the night something had to happen.” Sarah urges not wanting to press but she’s worried about you. She’s never seen you that upset, the closest time being after a fight with your parents. Even then you refused to talk about it. JJ swings an arm around the back of the couch, his hands rubbing your shoulder. “Come on princess, you can tell us what happened. We don’t bite… unless you are into that.” He winks at you. “Dude really.” Pope chimes in, nudging JJ’s leg with his foot. “What did Rafe do something again?” You scoff “What makes you think it was Rafe?” You argue the words not convincing you as they hit your ears. “Well, do I have to remind you about what happened at the country club? It’s like you two are seeing each other or something.” The room gets quiet, everyone expecting your answer but it never comes. “Oh my God please don’t tell me you slept with Rafe” Sarah asks.

You shrink into yourself trying to hide from their prying eyes. “I didn’t think you’d get this far you know I just thought it was like something fun then it just got better. He just seemed like he actually cared about me. It’s stupid I just thought that it was different, you know?” No one knows what to say. Rafe’s history is no secret, the whole island knows how much of a womanizer he is. They just never expected for you to fall into the same trap, especially after seeing how it never worked. “What did he do?” Kie asks. “I caught him making out with some girl at the bonfire last night.” The room gets silent again. They share looks trying to find something to say to make you feel better. “So you are telling me that after the scene he caused at the club he still fucked this up. Fucking dumbass.”

“Dude” Everyone yells. “Jayj really? That wasn’t necessary.” Kie says as she sandwiches herself between you and JJ. Putting distance between you and his dumb comments. “What? We are all thinking about it. Like come on, he finally gets a chance with her and he goes and hookup with another girl. It’s just so stupid.” He’s right it is stupid. A tear falls down your face and you wipe it. “Jayj is right, it’s stupid.” Sarah sits on the other side of you, pulling you into a hug. “It’s not stupid. Your feelings are never stupid.” Sarah rationalizes, wanting you to know it’s okay to let yourself feel something.

“He just seemed so different. Everything he was saying and doing made me really think he felt something for me.” You pause, taking a sip of water to drown the lump in your throat. “For fucks sake we were with each other for days. I told him things I haven’t told other people.” A sob breaks your sentence. Your emotions winning over causing you to break down in Sarah’s arms. “I know. He always seemed different around you. I’ve never seen him chase a girl the way he chased you.” Kie thinks she’s helping but it only hurts worse. If others saw a difference then what changed? Why would he act like he wanted more only to take that away. To break you in a way no one has managed.

“Want to know what I think?” Pope breaks the silence. “I don’t think you having feelings for him is stupid. You took his actions as him caring for you, there’s nothing wrong with that. He’s the stupid one. He’s going to have to live with the fact that he lost the one person who actually gave him a chance.” He stops for a second, finally looking at you. “He’s going to live with that forever. You are going to find someone better and never think about him again.” You smile are him, the tears blurring out his features. You can make out a shy smile, telling he’s nervous for voicing his thoughts. “Thank you Pope.” You laugh, wiping your tears.

Pope is definitely the smartest out of everyone in this room. But he just found one thing he was wrong about. It doesn’t matter what pain you are feeling at this moment. It can be ten years down the line and you will still think about this. Every memory of him will always find its way to creep back in. His smile will forever be imprinted in your memories. Remembering all the times you were the cause of it. No matter how much you hate Rafe, a piece of you will always love him, and will always miss him.

You pick at the food as you listen to them talk. Happy that they are finally letting it go. When you finish you take your plate to the sink, giving it a rinse before setting it down. “Hey want to go out to the marsh? We can go swimming and have a few beers.” John B shouts out to you. It doesn’t sound like a bad plan. It could be good to go out and actually have fun with some friends. “Sure why not?” The group all cheer, getting up to get ready. You borrowed a bikini from Sarah since you didn’t want to go back to the house. There’s slight bruising on your neck, the hickies Rafe left now starting to fade. You brush your fingers over them before throwing on some clothes, letting your hair down to cover them up.

All of you make your way out to the dock, hopping into the boat and sailing off. The weather was beautiful today. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect, hot but not to the point of suffocating you. “How many beers do you think I can down before dropping off the side of the boat?” JJ laughs, pouring beer into his mouth. Most of it didn’t make it in but it's the thought that counts. “Dude come on. You're going to waste all the beers before we can even drink them.” John B shouts. The waters ripples as the boat keeps pushing further into the marsh. It’s been a while since you’ve been out here.

The last time had to be with some friends in high school, yet again even that was very few. It was hard to get time alone with friends when you were working all the time. Everyday was school, work, homework, and sleep. On the rare occasions that you did have a day off it was usually spent helping out your parents. Cleaning up around the house while they were out doing god knows what. Or worse having to help your dad down from whatever high he was on as your mom ignores it. Thinking if she doesn’t pay attention then it isn’t a problem.

Looking around at the group in front of you is refreshing. There’s not a single person here who wants something from you or expects you to be perfect. They just want you to be you. “Whatcha thinking about.” Sarah grabs your attention as she sits next to you, handing you a beer. “Nothing really. Just glad to have all of you.” She smiles at you, leaning back a little to let the sun warm her face. “He’s an idiot you know.” You both know who she’s talking about, yet neither one of you dare to say his name. “It’s okay Sarah.” It’s all you can really say, nothing else comes to mind. “No, I mean it. He spent the past year trying to get with you and now look at this. You always seemed to make him better. It’s a shame he let that go.” You just stare at her, words failing to form on your tongue. “Plus having you as a sister-in-law would have been pretty cool.”

You both giggle, the tension from your body leaving. It would have been cool being a part of her family. Maybe not with Ward he likes you but he would probably want better for the older Cameron. The rest of the family had no issues welcoming you in. It would have been nice to be a part of a family who actually cares about you, you still are but it’s different. The boat comes to a stop, JJ throws the anchor overboard to keep the boat in place. “Alright everyone, gather around this is your fun guide speaking. Today we have a very special activity for a very special guest. Today we will be getting smashed and partying till we drop.” JJ shouts, throwing off his clothes before jumping in the water.

“Hey smartass! Sorry to break it to you but we definitely don’t have enough beer to get smashed and we aren’t throwing a party.” John B shouts back at JJ. “Come one man. Can’t you just let me live my life. Trying to set a mood here.” They all laugh at the blonde boy ignoring his complaints. “Gross set the mood with someone else Jayj.” Sarah jokes sticking her tongue out at him. The rest of the afternoon was spent like that.

All of you joke around as you swim and drink, relaxing for the day with each other. By the time the sun is starting to set you realize you haven’t thought about Rafe once. Well now you are but it’s good that you can live your life without having a thought of him for a while. Everyone is back on the boat now, going back due to the lack of food that was brought. By lack of food you mean the no food that was brought. The boat ride to Kie’s parents restaurant wasn’t long. All of you quite, too hungry to even speak to one another.

John B parks the boat and you all hop out, walking up the dock to get through the back of the restaurant. “Hey mom.” Kie calls out. “Hey sweetie.” Anna answers from behind the counter. “Let me guess free food?” She eyes the rest of you behind Kie. “I mean it's going to be thrown out at the end of the night. This way we aren't wasting more food than necessary.” Anna just looks at her for a second. She sighs making her way towards the kitchen. “Mike, fire up some food for Kie and her friends please.” SHe turns back to all of you. “Go on and sit. I’ll bring it out once it’s ready.” You all cheer, finding empty seats and sitting in them.

You are all chatting when you hear someone clear their throat behind you. Your shoulders tense for a moment, scared that it’s Rafe. But once you turn around you see that it’s Topper. “Hey.” He says. “Uh hey Topper what's up?” You ask, confused on why he’s talking to you. Your interactions with him consist of when him and Sarah were dating and the few times you ran into him when he’s with Rafe. Besides that the two of you don’t talk. “I was wondering if I could talk to you for a second. Privately.” He looks at the group and then at you.

“Why do you need to talk to her?” Kie asks, squinting her eyes at him. “It’s okay Kie.” You reassure her then look back at the boy. He looks so out of place standing there all awkwardly. “Yeah we can go out the back.” You say while getting up. Topper follows you as you make your way to the outdoor seating area. “How are you doing? You know after last night.” He asks. You just roll your eyes at him, crossing your arms over your chest. “I’m doing great. Realized I was making a fool of myself but doing good.” He winces at your words. He watched as you left crying last night, then watched as Rafe came running by a few minutes later.

It wasn’t till later on in the night he really found out what happened. Him and Kelce sharing a look once they realized that their earlier conversation actually had an impact on Rafe. Topper actually felt bad for you. He may not have known you well but he did know how sweet you were. When him and Sarah were dating she would always rave about you. Rafe did too but it was always underlined with some infatuation with you. But the way he spoke about you at the bonfire was different then before, he was defensive over you as if he really cared about you.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know that’s where he ran off to.” You don’t want to hear the excuses, tired of being lied to. “It’s okay you don’t have to defend him.” Topper cuts you off before you can say anything else. “I’m not trying to defend him, I swear. I just thought he went off to do lines of coke or something. He was literally telling us about you before he went off. I really didn’t know.” It seems like he’s telling the truth, he doesn’t have a reason to lie. “It doesn’t matter. He did what he did and nothing will change it.” Your arms go to hug yourself, needing some comfort.

“He was looking for you earlier. He’s been running around the whole island trying to find you.” Toppers words short circuit your brain. He was looking for you? “Why?” your eyes are trained to the ground not wishing that the ground will swallow you up. “He wants to talk I guess. Said that you don’t have the full story or something like that.” You scoff. “Full story? I caught him making out with a girl just hours after we were together. Just after he told me he doesn’t like seeing me with other guys. He just wanted me to be fully his while he could go do whatever he wanted. I don’t need to hear his excuses and you can tell him that.”

As you walk away Topper calls out to you one last time. “At least let him know you’re alive. He’s been freaking out because all his calls go straight to voicemail and you aren’t answering his texts. He fucked up, I get that but he’s genuinely scared that you’re hurt. I’ve never seen him like this.” You pause and look at him. “I didn’t have my charger with me last night. My phone is probably dead right now.” With that you go back into the restaurant finding that the food has already been brought out.

You sit down at the table, everyone watching as you start to eat your burger. “What did he want?” Pope asks, sipping his water. “Take a wild guess.” You snap back, inhaling sharply once you hear your tone. “Sorry I didn’t mean to be rude.” Pope reaches a hand over the table, grabbing yours and giving it a tight squeeze. “It’s okay. We won’t talk about it again.” Their conversation drowns out, your thoughts too loud to hear what is going on in the outside world. You didn’t even realize you had finished your food or that everyone was waiting on you.

“Why don’t we head back? It’s getting late.” Sarah suggests, her eyes watching you as you gather your things without a word.Throughout the whole process of getting back you are quiet, Topper's words still ringing in your head. He doesn’t truly care that you were gone, he only cared that he couldn’t lie his way out of this mess. Rafe knows that this is over, that last night was the breaking point of the relationship. That’s why he’s scared, he’s scared because nothing will dig him out of the hole he made for himself.

“You can stay the night again if you want. I really don’t mind, I can even kick JJ out of the other room so you can have a bed.” You look at John B as you walk towards the house. “It’s okay really. Ward, Rose, and Wheezie are getting back tomorrow anyway. It would be weird if I wasn’t home when they got there.” There would be questions if you weren’t there, Wheezie would hound you until you told her. As much as it hurts, you could never bring her or the rest of them into this mess. Not only for the safety of your job but more importantly for Rafe. If they found out what he did they would just chastise him further. He may have done bad things but deep down he’s not a bad person.

“If that’s what you want then okay. But call us if you need anything.” He pulls you into a hug, letting go and walking into the house. You go inside and grab your bag, saying a quick goodbye to everyone and heading to your car. Once inside you just sit there, willing yourself to start the engine and drive back to Tanny. After what seems like forever you gain the courage to finally start the car, if only it had the same plan. You twist the key, the car starts to make a weird noise. It sounds like it's starting, the rumbling of the engine goes, then it stops to make a clunking noise. “You have got to be kidding me.” You mumble under your breath, resting your forehead on the wheel. You try your key again and the same thing happens, only this time louder and worse.

A knock on your window startles you, jumping back and grabbing your chest and you see that it's JJ. You open the door and he stands there leaning on it and the roof of the car. “Having car trouble princess?” Funny you think. “No shit sherlock.” You mumble. You guess it’s a good thing that you’ve been saving for a new car. The money can now go into fixing this hunk of junk. “Come on, I can give you a ride. I heard you tell John B you should be home for tomorrow.” He grabs you to drag you out the car, getting your bag and slamming the car door. “Really?” “My bad the door just slipped.” He raises his hands up in surrender.

JJ walks over to his bike, handing you his helmet and getting on. You take it from him, placing it on and clumsy hopping on the back. “Gotta hold on to me tight unless you want to fall off.” Your arms wrap around his waist, squeezing him really tight, probably more than needed. “Jesus gonna kill me with that grip. Relax a little would ya.” You do as he says. Once he is satisfied enough he starts the bike and is racing off.

✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶

Rafe has been freaking out all day. He woke up this morning and ignored the mess in his room, going straight to your door. He knocked, waiting a second before knocking again. “Sunny it’s me. Can we please talk?” He tries to open the door, happy to find that it wasn;t locked like last night. Relief washed over him as he opened it up, glad you finally came to your senses. That all vanishes when he sees that the room is empty. Your bed was slightly messy but the covers were still fully on so you hadn’t slept there. There were a few articles of clothing that were tossed around. Everything was in place, the only thing missing was you.

At first he thought you were just down stairs, already starting your day but when he got down there he couldn’t find you. Looking out the front door he sees your car is also gone. That’s when the panic startles to fully set in. You were gone, just picked up your things and left. There’s an ache that starts to form in his chest, his breathing getting shorter as his shaky hands get his phone to dial your number. The first ring goes through, the second cut short by your voicemail. “Sorry I couldn’t come to the phone right now. Text me if you need me, bye!” Your voice plays through his phone speakers. “Fuck!”

He starts to spam you, every call going straight to voicemail, his texts going unanswered. He’s been driving around the whole island looking for you and nothing. Every bad thought starts to race in his head. What if you got hurt? There’s creeps out there, if you left in the middle of the night they could have gotten to you. Or worse, you got in some accident and no one knows where you are. You could be dead in a ditch somewhere. Every new theory sends him down a deeper spiral. All his thoughts pointing to you being dead and truly leaving him. He can handle you hating him because he would know you’re safe. But he can’t handle you being gone, he can’t go through this again.

A water drop hits Rafe’s check, then another, a sob making its way through. He’s pacing around the house, tears freely falling. His fear of losing you brings back the memories of his mom. Watching day after day as she got worse, the doctors not doing anything to save her. He’s eight all over again begging his mom to not leave him, for her to get better, singing her the lullaby she sang to him. She was the first person to ever love him, to show him that he was worth something. Once she died she became the last one. Ward blamed him for everything, the fact that he had his mothers features making Ward’s hatred for him worse.Wheezie and Sarah never treated him badly but he knew they were afraid of him.

When Rose came into the picture things took a turn for the worse. He hated that his dad could move on so quickly, as if his mother meant nothing to him at all. Rose tried to be nice but shortly stopped after realizing that Rafe would never like her. Everyone on the island either hated him or was afraid of him, no one took a chance on him. That was until you. You came into his life with that beautiful smile and kind words. You turned the world around every time you talked to him. Never once showing fear or disgust like everyone else. It was like he wasn’t Rafe Cameron the island's basket case, he could be who he wanted with you. But he’s fucked it all up.

His pity party was cut short when the sounds of a motorcycle made its way into the house. He rushes to the front door swinging it open to be greeted by the sight of you on the back of JJ Maybanks motorcycle. His blood runs hot as he watches you get off handing him the helmet and hugging him. Rafe can’t hear what’s being said but he doesn’t like how close the two of you are right now. Hypocritical but he doesn’t care. He watches as you turn around the smile dropping from your face when you see him. There was a sinking feeling in his stomach, bile threatening to leave him.

As you get closer you just stare at the floor walking past him into the house without a word. “Sunny.” Rafe’s voice shakes as he calls for you. “Don’t call me that!” You shout at him continuing to walk to the stairs. “Please can we just talk.” He pleads as he follows you. “There’s nothing to talk about Rafe. What’s done is done.”You look at him over your shoulder, he looks so fragile. “Please baby. I need you to talk to me. FUCK! Yell for all I care, please.” He sobs, hands grabbing your arm as you try to walk up the steps. “I can’t keep going on like this. I-' You turn around to face him. “You what? Huh? You thought ‘hey I had enough of her time to fuck some other slut’ Or was it ‘I have her wrapped around my finger. She’s so dumb that she’ll let me fuck other girls.’” You didn’t realize how close you got.

You're practically staring up at him. “No, I swear” His eyes red as tears streak down his checks. “Fuck! Why can’t you just listen to me! I’m trying…” “You’re trying? Are you fucking kidding me? So let me get this straight, you fuck me practically every day as id I’m this sex toy for you. Then you go out and make out with these other girls as if you weren’t just cumming in me. If thats you trying, you fucking me and others is you trying?” Tears well up in your eyes and your voice cracks at the end. Rafe starts pacing around with his arms wrapping around his head. He’s mumbling but nothing is audible. “If that’s you trying then it’s a good thing it’s over. I deserve better than that.” This stops Rafe in his tracks. He starts walking to you but stops before he can reach. “Please don’t leave me.” It’s barely a whisper but you still heard it.

Your eyes widen and mouth drops open but nothing comes out. You stare at him as his hands cover his eyes. Wiping away any tears like if you saw them you would see how weak he was. How weak you made him. “I was scared okay. I’m scared you will leave me like everyone. I- I can’t stand not being around you. Don’t start.” Your mouth shuts, words dying on your tongue. “You make everything better. I have these thoughts sometimes and” a sob cuts his words “they stopped when you were around. All the ‘I’m to good enough’, ‘you’re a failure’, all that shit just fucking vanished. You’re like sunshine, everything just seems brighter around you.”

He takes a deep breath. “That day at the country club when I saw you flirting with Maybank I saw red. I just thought you were going to see that you don’t need me that you were better off with someone else. Everyone has left me but you leaving would break me. I was scared and I did what I always do I fucked up. I pushed you away so you can’t hurt me. I didn’t think that you would care, I swear.” He grab your arm pulling you towards him. Rafe’s arms wrapping around your waist as he hurries his head in in junction where your neck meets your shoulder. Your right hand raises to rub his head, the left rest on his bicep.

“You’re right you didn’t think. You really hurt me.” You starts to pull away from him, Rafes eyes dropping to watch his empty hands. “I thought I meant more to you. I told you we needed to communicate and you didn’t. I just” “I’m trying to. This is me trying to tell you.” The blue eyes that you loved looked so broken and empty. A matching set to yours. “It’s a little too late. I don’t know how to trust you right now. Rafe I told you things that I’ve always kept a secret. I thought it was obvious that I always cared about you. Yet all I’m given in return is deceit, I caught you making out with another girl. Did you even mean the things you said? I just need sometime.”

The sandals you wore echo along the floor as you back up. His left hand catches you before you could get too far. “This can’t be it, please Sunny. I fucked up I know. I let Kelce get into my head and I spiraled, I know that. But please give me a second chance…please. Today I thought you were hurt or dead. You scared that shit out of me today and I couldn’t stand the thought of never being able to see you again. Please we can work this out.” You met his eyes, tears welling up. “I can’t do this right now Rafe. This really hurts me, don’t make it harder.”

“Nothing I say will change your mind will it?” Rafe lets you go and walks away leaving you behind. “Do you know how scared I was last night? You scream, smashing my door, and throwing stuff around is scary Rafe. All I could think about was my dad, I didn’t like when he got like that. I won’t take it from you either.” Your words stop him in his tracks but you don’t stick around to watch. Tears hit the floor, a tiny sob leaving your lips as you make your way up the stairs. Making it in your room, you curl up into bed crying until you finally fall asleep. Wishing that the past two days never happened and this was just some bad nightmare.

#rafe cameron #rafe cameron smut #rafe smut #rafe x reader #rafe obx #drew starkey smut #outer banks smut #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe x you #rafe x nannyreader

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helen-with-an-a · 6 months

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The object that stood in the way of a World Cup pt. 4

Hi. So here is part 4. (The next part will be the final part of the full story with an epilogue/side story type thing, too) Big thanks to @lyak12 for helping me out once again <<3

Ona Batlle x Reader

Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 4 : Part 5 : Epilogue

Flashbacks are in italics

TW: bad mental health, suggestiveness

Description: Ona and R have a long-awaited argument, and R begins to heal

Word count: 3.9k

You had been given the ok from the physios to start rehab a few days after your breakdown. Alexia had told Lucy all about it, phoning her as soon as you were asleep. The pair had cleaned your flat, so there was no trace of what had transpired. Alexia was convinced the trigger had been your physical recovery. Why would she not think that? She had no reason, no way, of knowing that something was seriously wrong with your mental health. She had only known you in Barcelona. She had never seen the way you smiled so brilliantly or the loud laugh that used to brighten anyone’s day. She had only seen the small smirks and quiet chuckles. Lucy had known you for longer, though. And she was so concerned.

“Ok… and here is the changing room. Your stuff is in your locker so just get changed and head on over to the pitch, yeh?” The woman showing you around was kind. Even despite this kindness, the 19-year-old you was terrified. It was your first day at a senior England camp and everything was quickly becoming too much. You nodded at her and moved through the door. The room was nice – clean and tidy with the faint smell of floor cleaner. You recognise some of the names on the cubbies, and you couldn’t believe yours was in the mix. These were living legends. And now your name might be among them.

You came to a stop in front of yours. Even with the name on the top, you knew it was yours. It was the emptiest. You looked at the ones next to you and gawked when you saw who it was. BRONZE. Holy shit. You would be next to Lucy Bronze. It was becoming far, far too much for you. You were 19. Why would anyone want you to play for England? Ok, you had a fantastic season. Yes, you had been involved in some capacity with every goal your team had made this year so far – whether that be the first pass to start the charge, a precise cross into the box, a direct assist, and occasionally making the ball ripple into the back of the net yourself. But this … this was England. This was the Lionesses.

“Hey, you’re Y/N, right?” A northern accent broke you from your spiral. You couldn’t speak. You opened your mouth, but no sound came out. God, you were pathetic.

“I’m Lucy, it’s nice to meet you.” She extended her hand. It was warm and soft and rough. “Don’t worry about anything, yeh. I’ve got you.” She smiled as you shook her hand. She could see the panic in your eyes. She could see the fear of the unknown. “You’re gonna do great, kid. You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t deserve it.”

Ignoring Ona was easier than you thought it would be. At least initially. Pre-training activation for the team started at 10. But your daily physio appointment started at 9.30 meaning you were often in and out of the changing room before she had even stepped foot in the building. You weren’t allowed near the weights or machines for the first few weeks of rehab, so you didn’t really need to go near her during the gym sessions. When you had to start doing exercises with more than just your own body weight, you found it easier to pretend she didn’t exist. She was often hanging around Lucy and some of the younger girls in the squad, but you stuck to those on the injury list. At first it was just you and Frido, and then Jana joined and then Mapi and Alexia. You had your own group of friends who could understand the physical aspects of rehab. You didn’t like to acknowledge that you were hyper-aware of where Ona was at all times. Lucy had recognised fairly quickly that something must have happened between you and Ona. You two were like magnets with opposite charges; as one readjusted, the other did, too. What had happened to your relationship? She thought back to Derby days; the way you were so in tune with each other was unique, to say the least. Your chemistry on the pitch was electric. You always knew exactly where the other was. She thought back to the warmups, half-time and post-match huddles. You were always next to each other. You were always touching in some way. So, something serious must have happened to make you behave this way.

“Lucy,” You bounded over, escaping the red side in favour of hugging the woman clad in blue.

“Hey, kid.” She laughed as you wrapped your arms around her shoulders. “Ready to lose?” She challenged teasingly.

“Oh, please. You ain’t gonna get anything past us. Me and Oni have some solid tricks up our sleeves,”

“Don’t give all our secrets away,” Ona joked as she came to stand beside you.

“I would never, Oni. This is derby day. We will crush them to smithereens!” You leaned into her as she traced lines across your back. You had never mentioned to Lucy that you had a girlfriend or a crush, but she could see from the way you behaved that something was going on between you. You chatted away to Lucy, Keira, and some of the other City Lionesses before Ona whispered in your ear.

“Nosotras deberíamos volver” You smiled and nodded.

“Alright, later losers. Don’t cry too hard when we win.” You laughed and waved, interlocking your fingers with Ona’s as you headed back to the United Players.

Match days were the only time you allowed yourself to wonder. When you were sat in the stands, watching the matches with the rest of the injury squad, you finally allowed your eyes to roam. How did she manage to look so good? Ugh, this was torture. Her strong rippling muscles, her freckly skin, her braid, her look of concentration — she was perfect in every way.

I don’t even know why Barca wants you, honestly. You're not good enough. Of course, she would think that you weren’t good enough. She was phenomenal. She was truly world-class. Her speed was unmatched, her technical abilities were flawless, her dedication unprecedented. And then there was you. Someone who had to stay late to work on extra drills and practice your skills. Yes, she frequently volunteered to stay with you – to work on them together. But she didn’t need to do it. You did. Or at least that was what you believed.

As she started to head back to the changing rooms, Ona looked around for you. Baggers had told her a joke that she wanted to steal to hear you laugh. She quickly scanned the group but quickly realised you weren’t there. She completed a full 360 before she heard the methodical thwacks of someone kicking a ball hard.

“Amor? Home time, no?” She called out to you from the side-lines.

“You go ahead, Oni. I want to work on some free kicks and stuff. I missed the last one at the match, so,” You called back, already readjusting the mannequin figures to make it harder for yourself. She frowned at your response. Yes, the ball didn’t go into the goal following a free kick that you took in the match on Saturday. But you weren’t the problem. You had sent an amazing cross into the box, Alessia’s head had made contact with it, but Spencer’s hands had pushed the on-target shot away. It was excellent goalkeeping; even Ona had to admit that. But you saw it as your failure, not the keeper’s success.

“Amor, you don’t need to practice. You’re fantastic at set pieces.” You rolled your eyes at her statement.

“Oni –”

“No. If you want to practice, that’s fine, but you don’t need to.” She placed her hand on your cheek, raising an eyebrow at you.

“I want to,” You answered her.

“Ok… vamos. We’ll do it together, sí?”

You didn’t know that you were all Ona could like about. You were consuming her thoughts in a way that should have scared her. But it didn’t. She had tried to approach you a few times, but you always seemed to move away before she got anywhere near you. She considered that as rejection. You didn’t want her in your life anymore. And she had to accept that. No matter how much it hurt her. No matter how many times she had cried over old photos of you on her camera roll. No matter how much she longed for you. She had made you hate her. She had made her bed, and now she must lie in it. So, she said, watching you from a distance. She stayed in a corner of the gym, as far away as possible from you, so you weren’t uncomfortable. She would often stare at you from the corner of her eye under the guise of looking out the window. You were looking fantastic. The muscles were slightly smaller, closer to what they were in Manchester, but that was to be expected – you weren’t allowed to even walk for more than a few minutes for many months. You had gone back to your ‘regular’ clothes – still fashionable, but you looked happier, more like yourself. But on the rare occasion she was able to look in your eyes, she could see the mental war that was raging in your head. She hoped it was because you wanted to return to football, but she had an inkling she was at fault.

You were finally on the grass again. Soft yet firm grass, slightly damp from the morning dew. There was coldness in the air, even for Barcelona. The slight nip caught at your skin as you waited for the trainer. You had come down earlier than you needed to. You took your boots and socks off and pushed your feet into the ground – taking a moment to really appreciate this moment. It had been a long 7 months since the tackle. You hadn’t spoken about the Incident with Alexia since it happened, but that was fine. You were still broken, but you were slowly getting there. You think. You were still quiet; you didn’t like going out anywhere with the team, and whenever you were alone, your thoughts still drifted back to Manchester. You didn’t think that your mind was hindering your rehab – but it was. You weren’t as optimistic as you once were, and that reflected slightly in your progress. You were mostly on track with the plan for your return, about a week behind where you wanted to be. But that was ok; that was normal. Alexia, Frido and Mapi had promised you that it didn’t mean anything. You weren’t scared it could happen again. You wanted to be on the pitch more than anything … well, that bit wasn’t quite true. There was one thing … person … you wanted more than football, but you couldn’t allow yourself that pain.

“Estás lista para correr?” Your personal trainer, Margarita, asked.

“Sí. Más que lista.” You slipped on your boots.

“Bueno. Let’s start slow, sí. Just a gentle jog to the cone.” Margarita instructed.

Running again was wonderful. You could feel the underused muscles slowly coming back to life. With every step you took, the storm clouds in your head began to look less dark and broody. As your session progressed, you realised your fitness wasn’t what it once was. But you knew that it would return. You wouldn’t allow it not to. The session was short for you. A lot of breaks followed by stretching and more running, slowly increasing distances and speed. You weren’t allowed near a ball just yet, but you were itching for it. You had been given a taste of your past life, and you wanted and needed more.

“Ok. I think that’s enough for today. You can head back inside.” Margarita called to you as you took deep gulps from your bottle. You threw her a thumbs up and helped collect the equipment you had used.

Your studs clacked against the concrete as you walked back inside. You heard another set joining you but thought nothing of it. You didn’t turn around, too much on a high from finally running again.

“You were looking really good out there today.” You froze. That sweet, rich, caramel voice. Had she really just said that to you? After everything? Ona knew it was a risk to approach you, but she wanted to tell you how much improvement she could see. She genuinely thought you would be better once you made your return.

You scoffed.

“Qué ocurre? Estás herido? Necesito ir al fisio?”

You saw red.

“You didn’t think I was good enough before, so why would you think so now? Isn’t that what you told me? You couldn’t understand how Barca would pay so much for me. I wasn’t good enough.” She was stunned into silence. She had said all of those things to you. That day in Manchester will forever be here biggest regret. “Did everything we were mean that little to you? Did every word you said to me mean nothing? Just something to keep me strung along?” You were crying now. Ona had only seen you cry once before the World Cup.

Ona had just come back from coffee with Laia and Leila, when she heard short, sharp gasps.

“Amor?” She called from the hall. You couldn’t respond. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. You didn’t need to explain what had sent you into a spiral. She knew exactly what was running through your mind. “Mi amor. You are having an ataque de pánico. You are ok. You’re safe. I’ve got you. Te tengo. Eres todo para mí y más” She said confidently, pressing kisses to your hair as your tears soaked her shirt.

“I gave everything to you. I let you into my heart in a way no one else had. I laid my soul bare for you, and you broke it. You broke me, and I’m terrified that I can’t be fixed. You broke me in ways I never thought possible.” You were shouting, your voice echoing down the empty corridors.

“Oni …” She kissed down your neck, lips biting purple marks down your neck. “Oni … as much … as much as I want this. You’ve, we’ve… we’ve been drinking.” That didn’t matter to you. You had only had 2 drinks and she had half of the second one. She’d nursed one drink all evening, bar the sips she’d stolen from you. You wanted her so badly, but you’d never been with someone that way before.

“I only had one. I want this. Te deseo. If you don’t want to that’s fine. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. We can do as little or as much as you want. But I’m not drunk. I promise.” She leaned back to look in your eyes. Your black bralette left a lot of skin for her to gently run her hands across. It was safe, comforting. This was Ona. Oni. Your Oni.

“It’s just … I’ve never … um … I’ve not …” You blushed hard. Ona understood what you were trying to say. She would be your first, if you let her.

“That’s ok. We don’t have to -” she began to reassure her.

“No, no. I want to. Please. I really want to. But I don’t want you to be disappointed.” You looked away.

“You could never disappoint me, mi amor.” You were always so kind, always looking out for others over yourself. “If you would let me, I would love to go further with you. All the way if you allowed me to.” The love in her voice was evident. She just wanted to take care of you in the way you deserved. “Deixa'm estimar-te.” she whispered against your chest.

“I don’t speak Catalan.”

“That’s okay. We have all the time in the world for me to teach you.” She smiled as you pushed a piece of hair behind her ear. You shivered slightly. “I thought you said you didn't get cold?”

"I'm not cold."

"Deixa'm estimar-te."

"I still don’t speak Catalan." You whispered as you tugged her to you.

You were a mess. You threw your hands in the air as you began pacing. “And yet, after everything you put me through, everything you said to me. I am still devastatingly addicted to you. You meant the world to me, and you threw me away like I was nothing. You hurt me so much that I don’t think I can ever be whole again, and still, after all of that, I am still hopelessly and absolutely in love with you.” Ona was crying, her face red, tear tracks running down her cheeks. You had to leave. You couldn’t do this. You couldn’t. You had to leave.

You rushed back around the corner and straight into arms that felt so familiar.

“Easy, kid, easy.” Lucy’s voice soothed. You clutched at her; your eyes were filled with tears. She just pulled you to her and let you bury your face in her neck. You sobbed for what felt like hours – Lucy was becoming concerned with how many tears were still falling. Eventually, you slowed down. You weren’t calm. You still had tears falling steadily, but you weren’t sobbing.

“You don’t have to tell me, kid. But I think you should tell someone. That … what just happened … that’s not … that was almost a year’s worth of feelings being let out.” Lucy had moved you to against the wall. You were still in her arms, a safety blanket for you that offered so much protection.

“I … I don’t know where to start.” You answered honestly. Everything was a giant mess in your brain. Doors to rooms in your head that you had previously sealed tightly shut were beginning to open and you were sure what to do.

“Wherever you feel most comfortable. I’ve been concerned for a while now. Something happened to you before you came to Barca—why don’t you start there?” She smoothed your hair, her nails lightly scratching.

So, you did. You told her everything. It took a while. You cried some more. She cried some more. But eventually everything was said.

“Listen, kid. … I can’t imagine what this past year has been like for you. That seems genuinely horrible. I think you need to talk to a professional and regularly. You’ve had a lot of emotions, and you will need help, proper professional help, in processing them.” You nodded. It was something that Alexia had said to you early on in your rehab, that she had emotions that she needed help dealing with, and the club had a great psychologist on hand. “I also … I also think you should step back from football for a little while. Go home, go back to England. Have a bit of a break; let yourself heal properly without the added stress of rehab.” You weren’t a fan of stopping football, but you couldn’t deny the sound of going home was appealing.

A week later, you were on a flight to London. You had cleared it with Barca. They were giving you a month to do whatever you wanted. After the month was up, they wanted you back in Barcelona, but you didn’t have to train or even consider football if you didn’t want to. You wanted to get better. You wanted to get better for yourself.

Ona was not doing much better. She had told everything to Aitana and Alexia, who had found her in the changing room showers, the water running over her fully clothed body. They had helped strip her of her wet clothes and took her home. She didn’t deserve their kindness – she was a horrible person who had hurt the best thing that had ever happened to her in ways she didn’t even think was possible. Alexia had given Ona a week to wallow in bed. After the week, she was forced to at least make it to the kitchen. Eventually, Ona agreed to go to the counsellor as well. Ona wanted to get better. She wanted to get better for you.

When you first arrived in London, you were still very much a broken shell of your former self. But with time and love, you began to become whole again.

England had dreary skies and warm hugs.

England had frigid temperatures and proper roast dinners.

England had Lessi with her loud laughs and ever-present optimism.

England had Tooney with her constant jokes and sarcastic comments.

England had Mary with her quick come backs and gentle teasing.

England had Leah with her potato smilies and plain ham sandwiches.

England had Beth with her constant conversations and excitable nature.

England had helped heal your heart.

You had thought you would have felt dread or anxiety as the wheels touched down in Spain. But you hadn’t. You were surprisingly neutral. Walking back into the Barcelona training ground didn’t cause fear to strike you. You had daily chats with the psychologist, to begin with. She helped you work through your emotions, from everything from your first goal as a child to how you felt when the Doctors told you what happened in Australia. You spoke about the happy times with the Lionesses, your dark days when you had thought the lowest of yourself. Eventually, you spoke about Ona. You spoke about every emotion she had caused – happiness, sadness, anger, fear, overwhelming joy, love. You were encouraged to write a letter to her – although you didn’t have to send it.

Oni. Although I’m not sure I should call you that anymore.

I was encouraged to write this letter to you to process my emotions. So that’s what I’m doing.

You hurt me in ways I never imaged anyone could hurt me. What you said that day echoed what I already thought about myself so having you confirm it – even if you didn’t believe what you said – it really screwed with my mind. Whilst your actions caused me to spiral, I can’t blame you fully. I didn’t tell anyone. I kept my emotions bottled up. I am owning that much at least.

But I am still in love with you. I don’t think I’ll ever not be. The happiness and love I felt when you were around me was unlike anything I’ve ever felt with anyone before, or since. I would like to try again with you … maybe. I want what we had in Manchester. But with everything that has happened between us, I’m aware that can’t happen. As of right now, I want to at least start with a friendship. I want to start a fresh. So, I’m reintroducing myself.

Hola, I’m Y/N. I play defending midfield for Barcelona and England. I used to play for Manchester United. My favourite colour is purple, and I hate tomatoes. My favourite number is 17 and I prefer hot chocolate over coffee or tea. I prefer the summer over the winter, but I love when I can hear the rain on a window, especially if I’m warm in bed.

I was am hopelessly in love with a girl, and I think she loved loves me too, but I know that if I want to get back into a relationship, I need to work on myself first.

Forever yours, Y/N

Aaaa. So there will be a pt5. (and probably an epilogue type thing too). Hope you enjoyed it.

#woso community #woso x reader #ona batlle x reader #ona batlle #woso fanfics #lucy bronze #woso imagine #woso blurbs #barca femeni x reader #barca femeni #fc barcelona #manchester united #man utd #man utd women #lionesses #lionesses x reader #woso #woso soccer

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