#but the problem is that he has negative empathy and light just Assumes he Understands without having to open up
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thinking about this again. I generally hold the opinion that light believes his own hype, at least to the extent that he has an overinflated sense of responsibility and compulsively places the needs of others above his own (partially why I think he feels that "saving" wily is his responsibility, even if he's ill-equipped to unpack all his issues); therefore, to befriend someone like wily, someone who seemingly couldn't give two shits about who he was, treated him like a person, and maybe even encouraged him to be a little more selfish, must've been a huge relief on his psyche, even if only subconsciously.
I wonder how disappointed light was when he realised wily never saw through him; that the image that burdened him so had been internalised by the one person he thought didn't care about it; that he was, all along, truly alone.
I wanted to write a serious analysis post to prove that I have shit to say but I'm too tired so here's some hcs about their uni days before I log off for the night:
> light struggled with forming friendships prior to meeting wily. I think despite being affable, most people tended to like him on a surface level and as a result he never really felt understood or valued in any of his relationships (I also think he could be somewhere on the autism spectrum and masks whenever he's not working, but maybe I'm just projecting lol)
> light reached out to wily first, due to recognising their shared passion. I think part of the appeal could've also been in how wily didn't look up to light as obviously as everyone else, which, to light, made him more approachable
> wily was very averse to light's friendship initially. at this point, his chronic inferiority complex was in full swing, prompting him to pick out the "best" student in his course (light) and treat them as a rival. in his mind, light's attempts to befriend him were a form of mockery, an attempt to make the one person who saw through him fold. this was compounded by the fact that deep down, wily did in fact regard light with the same sort of reverence as everyone else, he just diluted it with bitter envy and hatred.
> eventually, wily accepted light's friendship on the internal grounds that it'd be easier for him to gain influence whilst working with light rather than against him
> wily spent the better part of this friendship (begrudgingly) (semi-consciously) pining; I like to think that he was extremely territorial of his friendship with light whilst simultaneously resenting his kindness; this, combined with feelings that ranged from "this guy isn't the worst... at least he understands what I'm getting at" (<- horrifically in love) to "someone needs to fucking kill this guy and it'll be ME" led to a lot of internal push-and-pull on his behalf. light was vaguely aware that something was up, but 1) didn't know how to broach the topic 2) figured wily would be able to sort it out himself. this would obviously bite him in the ass later, but in his defense I don't think wily would be open to the idea of an emotionally honest conversation even if light tried
#⚡️💀#🥀#and it's not like wily wouldn't understand what it's like to be weighed down by an image you don't want!!#I think he'd actually understand what light is going through#(my hc is that his inferiority complex is born from an environment where little was expected of him‚ prompting the need to prove himself)#but the problem is that he has negative empathy and light just Assumes he Understands without having to open up#sigh. they suck so much :(
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A meta and analysis on Yagami Hikari
Hikari is often said to be a “mysterious” character, and there have been a lot of different takes over the years in regards to analyzing her and why she acts the way she does, so one may be surprised to learn that the basis of her character was described in pretty explicit words, and surprisingly concrete!
The single most important thing to know about Hikari, which is very important to understanding pretty much her entire character and actions through both Adventure and 02, is stated very much outright in Adventure episode 48, in very, very explicit words.
(Translation by Ryuu-Rogue.)
That’s the kind of girl she is! She's always thinking of other people before herself, and she'll never tell anyone that she's in pain or having a hard time, even if it kills her! The thing is, she might not have even wanted to come to this stupid world at all...But when people tell her that the fate of the world is in her hands or something, she could never refuse!
Right, so! Because Taichi accompanied this with a story about how he failed to notice her pneumonia and nearly killed her, a lot of people tend to interpret this as Taichi having been traumatized purely by this one sheer failure on his part leading to him becoming overprotective of Hikari, and thus making it into only his problem. But while Taichi does take personal responsibility for the incident, he also adds: that’s how she is in general. This wasn’t just one isolated incident. Hikari is Like This. That’s why Taichi is overprotective; because he has no idea how Hikari is actually feeling when she’s always repressing her pain or feelings, he has to assume the worst at all times, because if left to her own devices, she’s liable to become self-destructive.
Hikari represses her negative feelings and pain because she doesn’t want to burden others. That is the key to understanding Hikari, which is thus the core behind the rest of this post.
While Adventure and 02 are both series that have their characters be very kind and understanding to each other in general, one thing it does warn against is the pitfall of being “too selfless” to the point of self-destruction. You can also see this with Sora, who is shown to have a problem with not recognizing when she’s pushing out for others (Adventure episode 26) and eventually cracking under the pressure of feeling obligated to others (Adventure episode 51).
Here’s an interesting passage from the Adventure novels about the meaning of the Crest of Light:
Hikari’s trait, however, was different from them all. It was like the presence of the power of “life” itself. It had the same meaning as “evolution” for the Digital world, or maybe even the same meaning as “truth” and “beauty.” As an umbrella term for the source of life, they called this trait “light.”
Hikari has an inherent connection to “life itself”, which somewhat explains why she seems to have borderline psychic powers sometimes -- because she can intuitively understand and connect to the inherent essence of things. This makes her rather similar to Mimi in that Mimi’s natural empathy makes her easily compassionate towards others but also easily sensitive to others’ pain, but in Hikari’s case it’s more about the sheer principle of things -- she doesn’t have to empathize with them per se as much as she seems to value all life and its importance. Hence, how she sympathizes even with BlackWarGreymon in 02 episode 31 -- she feels bad for him, despite him (at that point) being known for being a chaotic, uncontrollable force of destruction -- because, to her, even he deserves sympathy.
Adventure episode 21 may have been possibly the worst first impression we as the audience could have ever gotten from Hikari, because it is not representative of the rest of her personality! If you just look at the episode in a vacuum you’d think she’s excessively clingy towards Taichi and constantly listless all of the time, but context is very important, because:
Hikari was sick. She had a cold. When we get to see her more during the Tokyo arc and for most of the rest of the series, where she’s feeling a little better, she is much more energetic, implying that the “quiet” disposition she has in episode 21 was just her being really under the weather due to having a cold.
While Hikari does spend some time bonding with Koromon over how “nice” Taichi is, Hikari also has a very good reason for her clinging for Taichi and telling him not to go: she turns out to be very aware that Taichi was in “the world Koromon is from”. It’s not just that Taichi’s leaving -- in fact, she’s pretty fine with Taichi not being in the area in Adventure episode 32 -- but the fact he’s specifically going to another world where a lot of dangerous things are. Depending on how much she’s caught on, she might even be aware of the fact he’d been in there for functionally months. It’s not that unreasonable for her to start bidding for them to stay.
In a meta context, this episode really isn’t supposed to be about her as much as it is about Taichi; for him, this is a “leave your quest test” that offers Taichi a chance to escape all of the fighting and (ostensibly) return to an idyllic life with his family. Hikari being sick and very much not wanting him to leave is basically throwing a bit of guilt into the equation -- not only are you going back into all of the fighting, you’re leaving your poor sick sister behind! You jerk!
We do, however, get a bit more context on why Hikari is so bad at vocalizing her feelings, other than simply being selfless: she’s been able to see the Digimon from the very beginning, even before the growing proximity of the Digital World started making them more corporeal presences, but nobody would believe her, and she chose to be quiet about it. In effect, Hikari grew up with everyone (unintentionally) gaslighting her, so it stands to reason that she wouldn’t easily trust people with her emotions, especially her more negative ones.
But, again, it doesn’t take long to establish that Hikari is normally very bright, cheerful, and energetic -- it only takes recovering from her cold a little for her to be seen playing around happily with the cat in Adventure episode 32 (notice that Taichi’s not in the equation at all, and she could hardly care less!) and trying to coax Tailmon into her house. The fact she also leaves the door open on the grounds that “mom’s out” implies she wasn’t even supposed to be doing this -- breaking house rules so she could get the new “Agumon’s friend” in to play with.
Hikari’s behavior in Adventure episodes such as 42 and 50 or Our War Game! indicate that she is very much able to be playful and cheerful whenever she likes, even at this point in time -- and remember, she still was technically holding back a slight cold during this time, she just happened to be really unusually under the weather in Adventure episode 21. Otherwise, Hikari is a pretty normal young girl when it comes to vibrance and playfulness!
But didn’t Taichi just say in Adventure episode 48 that she holds back her emotions and represses? Right, so, here’s the thing: Hikari doesn’t repress everything. She represses pain because she’s selfless and she won’t talk about things that burden others -- such as putting a damper on Taichi’s desire to play soccer, or not being in the condition to go on a world-saving adventure -- but when it comes to anything else, she’s willing to be headstrong and even bright.
In Adventure episodes 34 and 36, Hikari assertively puts her foot down in terms of attempting to sacrifice herself (once for trying to take a hit for Tailmon, and once in trying to surrender herself for the others’ sake). Very, very strong emphasis on assertively here. The latter case especially involves Hikari practically putting her foot down and throwing herself forward when everyone else was protesting for her to stay behind and Taichi had already informed her of her need to stay safe -- but when it’s “on principle”, when it’s something she truly believes is the right thing to do, she pushes aside all protest and does what she wants. So yes, I’m actually going to put it forward: Hikari is extremely assertive as long as it doesn’t involve something for her own personal sake. If it’s for herself? She’ll repress and refuse to be a burden on others. If it’s for others? She’ll get it done, opposition be damned.
Adventure episode 49 has another example of Hikari putting her foot down because of her insistence on principles. A lot of people have tended to not attribute her actions in this episode to her, thinking it might be “the one who wishes for stability” (Homeostasis) possessing her like they did in Adventure episode 45 (there’s even been theories that they were sapping away at her health and making her cold worse), but there’s actually far more than enough evidence it’s all Hikari; “the one who wishes for stability” actually communicated with her before borrowing her body back in Adventure episode 45 and is not the type to completely hijack her body without warning, and, more prominently, perpetually speaks in the very formal/polite/deferential sonkeigo (representing their absolute deference to the Chosen Children), while Hikari’s speech pattern here is all her own.
And, in fact, keeping in mind that the Crest of Light is supposed to be representative of “her connection to life itself”, her exhibiting healing powers related to it in this episode is likely a result of her actions in this episode, not something spontaneous -- it’s Hikari going out of her way and insisting on protecting the souls of a bunch of lowly Numemon being used as slaves, because she values the importance of every life.
Hikari in 02 and after
Hikari’s character arc in 02 is actually very important to understanding her character further, given that she was involved in Adventure’s plot for less than half of it and was mostly seen in contexts that really weren’t that appropriate to evaluating her in a vacuum (primarily from being sick). Hence, we get a lot of valuable information about her in 02, primarily because we finally get to see her in her element most of the time and not having to hear about her via hearsay from Taichi. Unfortunately, the problem is, when you have a character whose arc is fundamentally built on “being really difficult to read”, it makes it difficult for even the audience to read her. This is to the extent that Hikari even gets a lot of 02′s very, very few moments of true “internal monologue”, despite the fact that the series would normally otherwise avoid it, because of how near-impossible it would be to discern Hikari’s thought pattern without it.
That said, she is not completely inscrutable, and her character arc and what she says give us more than enough to work with!
Again: for anything that does not have to do with herself, Hikari is not passive. Like in Adventure, she’s perfectly capable of being cheerful, playful, and sociable. She’s well aware of Daisuke having a thing for her, and even exploits it in 02 episode 6 by “conveniently” timing a statement about being hungry so that Daisuke will get the group to take a break and eat lunch. And, in fact, the way Hikari handles Daisuke’s crush on her is pretty representative of the balance she strikes with everyone else: because she’s so closed-in about her own feelings, despite her being ostensibly bright and perky, it’s very difficult for anyone to truly get to know her. She’ll never talk about how she feels to anyone, because that’s burdening other people with her problems!...and so, Daisuke likes her because she’s “kind” (as he states in 02 episode 31) and cute and cheerful, but he doesn’t really know her. But Hikari is so selfless that she doesn’t want to disappoint Daisuke, either, so she deals with the problem by not dealing with it and avoiding it (which is easy to do when he tends to deflate all by himself).
Hikari is perfectly willing to be assertive and even critical when it’s something she feels is important on principle -- things like “paying proper respect to one’s siblings” (in 02 episode 4, clearly not understanding that not everyone dotes on their younger siblings like Taichi and Yamato do) or “lying to one’s family” (in 02 episode 18) are things she doesn’t hesitate to put her foot down about (especially when it’s Daisuke, whom she is clearly more than aware will hear her out).
In fact, her being too assertive scares the hell out of Miyako in 02 episode 18 to the point she indirectly causes Miyako’s breakdown of stress because she feels she’s not “determined” enough for Hikari’s standards. Hikari actually catches onto this herself later in the episode and very earnestly and honestly apologizes for it -- again, as much as she’s not always upfront about her feelings, “Miyako having a mental breakdown because of her own words” is something that her selfless tendencies catch onto enough that there’s no choice but to be straightforward about it. (And, again, Hikari’s capable of being playful in her own way, as she catches on when Miyako needs some Alone Time with Hawkmon and has a very playful attitude of “let’s leave them to it~.”)
02 episode 13 is where we see the first real repercussions of Hikari’s failure to open up: because she hates burdening other people, she’s also incredibly passive when it comes to problems that have to do with herself. Even though she’s caught onto the fact that she’s being “called” to another place where she doesn’t want to be, she fails to vocalize this to Takeru (requiring Takeru to step in himself), and her reaction is “well, I guess this is my life now,” even though she hates it. It’s basically Hikari developing a This is Fine problem.
Because Taichi is brought up so many times in this episode, it’s often submitted as evidence that Hikari has some kind of brother complex, but in the wider context of things, this really isn’t the point, especially since when this issue is revisited in 02 episode 31 (more on this later!), Taichi isn’t even a part of the equation. The real issue is that as of the beginning of 02, Hikari had completely failed to open up to anyone else. Although she’s certainly friends with everyone from Adventure, she never truly became intimate friends with them to the extent she felt comfortable sharing her inner emotions with them, and even though the 02 kids are starting to become more of her friends on a social level, she still hasn’t truly “opened up” to any of them.
Hikari brings up Taichi because “he had always protected her” -- but remember, back in Adventure episode 48, Taichi had outright said that the reason he had constantly hovered over her was because even he didn’t know if she were actually in pain and covering something up; he’d started doing this because, as her brother, he’d caught onto her habit of doing that. Absolutely nobody, not even Takeru, properly understands Hikari at this point in time. Even Tailmon, who is probably the closest, is largely getting by in terms of intuitively vibing with her and providing a certain degree of insight and assertiveness that Hikari can’t (like when she describes Hikari’s strength being tied to her friends later in the episode), but she can only do so much when Hikari does so little for herself.
And also, Hikari brings up Taichi in past tense -- that he used to protect her -- in essence, she doesn’t necessarily want him to intervene because she doesn’t want to burden him either (he has his own life to live, after all, and she has hers). So because he’s not going to anymore, she’s just going to suck it up and accept all these horrible things happening to her. End of story!
Takeru is in a unique position as someone who witnessed the events of Adventure with her and someone who is starting to make proper headway into Hikari’s social life, but the episode also makes it very clear that he is not the solution to Hikari’s problem -- especially because Takeru has issues vocalizing his own problems himself in his own way. His way of dealing with Hikari is awful -- he snaps at her for being too dependent on Taichi, and then awkwardly runs away -- and he knows it himself, because he completely failed to address her problem, leaving her alone and left to finally disappear, and on a note of him having just yelled at her.
That doesn’t mean Takeru’s efforts were completely ineffective! In fact, the episode is still some degree of progress for Hikari, because once she gets backed into a corner, she finally does something for herself -- she asks for help, and not only from the people who she’d come to expect would naturally help her anyway (Taichi and Tailmon), but also Takeru himself. Effectively, Hikari acknowledges that Takeru had indeed wanted to help her and that he is someone she should trust and rely on for help instead of succumbing to a defeatist “this is my life now” attitude.
At the same time, however, it’s still not a perfect solution. Takeru and Hikari end the episode having resolved their argument, having understood each other’s feelings reasonably well enough to be on good terms again, but all they do is end the episode in silence together. They still can’t communicate openly and honestly yet, and they’re not the people who are going to truly address the problem for each other.
So we get the follow-up to this episode, 02 episode 31. We see that Hikari sympathizes with BlackWarGreymon’s situation even despite him clearly going on a destructive rampage, because she thinks about everything in terms of its right to live. We also see that Takeru is clearly still invested in her welfare, but, being very emotionally closed-in himself, he doesn’t say much to her. For these two, it’s going to take much more aggressive people who can actively reach out to them -- and in this episode, we learn that, for Hikari, the single most closed-in person in this cast, that person is Miyako, the single most aggressive person in this cast.
Miyako had been spending the entire first part of this episode self-flagellating over her lack of what Daisuke had described as Hikari’s “kindness”, but Hikari reveals the ugly side of it -- and it’s a reiteration of what Taichi had said about her all the way back in Adventure episode 48, except from her own mouth this time. But Hikari adds yet another layer to this: not only does she repress, she’s incapable of not doing so, to the point she’s jealous of Miyako for being able to express herself. She knows this is a problem with herself. She knows she should be opening up more. But her emotional repression is so compulsive that she can’t.
And so, Miyako accomplishes what absolutely nobody had pulled off for 31 episodes of 02 (and, arguably, all of Adventure): aggressively reaching out to Hikari and getting to the bottom of it, and getting Hikari to open up. Because, first of all, Miyako is such a mess and an aggressive disaster that Hikari becomes much more assertive in dealing with her (including slapping her because it’s the only way to get her out of her panic-induced delirium), but also breaking her out of her defeatist mindset whenever bad things happen to her. Miyako is going to help her, Hikari is not being a burden on her when Miyako is going to rip things apart and aggressively go out of her way to reach out to her again, and she needs to stop putting everything on herself. And this, of course, is what leads to their Jogress -- and on Hikari’s part, it means that she’s finally become someone able to “grow” past that problem she’d had since she was young.
Miyako says, at the end of the episode, that she understands Hikari better -- a massive accomplishment when “understanding Hikari” is the hardest thing for anyone in this cast to do -- and Hikari touches base with Takeru at the end of the episode, and finally says, for the first time, something that is truly not defeatist when it comes to herself and this issue: “I’ll never go there again.” Because yes, Miyako -- and her other friends -- are here for her, and it’s not a sin to reach out to them for help, and she can also emotionally trust in them to be there for her without her “burdening” them.
(And, incidentally, just because Takeru wasn’t the one to fully address the problem doesn’t mean his role wasn’t important -- in fact, the conversation between the two at the end of this episode rather implies that Miyako’s actions further helped Hikari’s ability to open up to other people, too.)
We also get to see how Hikari’s belief in principles becomes important to reaching out to Miyako in turn in 02 episodes 33-34, in which you get an inversion of expectations: the usually aggressive Miyako is the one who breaks down at the first true “drawn blood” of them killing LadyDevimon, while Hikari is the one to comfort her. You’d think that the all-loving Hikari would be the one to advocate for pacifism, right? But the thing is, while episode 33 establishes that Hikari certainly doesn’t like it -- her absolutely pained expression as Taichi tells her about the impending reality of the 02 kids having to face the possibility of killing says it all -- her desire to protect life extends to everyone.
Miyako, despite her surface aggressiveness, is incredibly emotionally sensitive, whereas Hikari, who’s ostensibly “nice” and agreeable, can have some very strong inner principles -- in this case, that protecting lives involves not only refraining from killing, but also protecting victims. Hence, she’s the one who comforts Miyako after she has a breakdown from seeing Silphymon kill LadyDevimon -- by reminding her about the other potential victims that would have been taken in the process.
In 02 episode 49, we get to see some inner desires from the kids on the behalf of BelialVamdemon, and, notably, BelialVamdemon starts poking into the kids’ personal problems. With the exception of Daisuke (who’s too simple-minded to think about the big picture nor to be all that hung up about his home life), everyone else’s desires all have some kind of selfish factor related to their home life in it -- Takeru wants to have his family all in one place again, Iori wants to be able to talk to his father, Miyako wants to have some time to herself because of how much her home life is defined by her siblings, and Ken wants to be punished (even though he knows that doesn’t accomplish anything) and to see his brother again. Hikari’s, on the other hand, has absolutely nothing selfish about it, and nothing to do with her home life -- she wants everyone to have a Digimon and for there to be WORLD PEACE. The former part even ties into the epilogue!
Again: Hikari is so inclined to be selfless that she doesn’t even think of herself as an object. This was a situation where everyone’s personal selfish desires were perfectly admissible here; everyone else was caving into their very personal hangups that didn’t have to do with world-saving. But for Hikari, while she of course loves her family, what she really wants is WORLD PEACE!! It ties into what Hikari had said about herself earlier: trying to indulge in her personal desires is something she compulsively resists doing because she’s so used to thinking about others.
We also learn in 02 episode 50 that Hikari is one of the first of this group to have a solid goal for what she wants to be in the future -- in this case, a kindergarten teacher. This is of course a tie-in to the epilogue that happens later that very episode, but it’s also very on brand for Hikari, who, as someone who wants to foster WORLD PEACE!! and a future where Digimon and humans can live together, would most certainly have an investment in helping raise the future generation.
This is especially because she spends her time in Spring 2003 making an “introductory guide to partners” for the sake of newer Chosen Children and reaching out to them; she’s taking that “world peace” thing very seriously.
Within Kizuna itself, we only get a few glimpses of Hikari, but we do learn quite a few interesting things about her. Her official website profile indicates that she’s well on track to her future career as a kindergarten teacher, to the point where Taichi even namedrops her as someone well aware of what she wants to do -- in contrast to the more ambivalent Taichi and Yamato. She and Takeru are still close, and they’re still active in tackling Digimon incidents. But not only are they still active, they’re even willing to take on the partners that Taichi and Yamato had offloaded on them, which is a pretty heavily loaded move in a movie that treats Taichi and Yamato discarding their partners as a sign of them losing touch with their childhood selves. In fact, there is a lot to be said about how, despite not working directly together with them in the movie, Hikari and Takeru are treated in the very distinct way the 02 cast is instead of the rest of the Adventure cast.
However, we learn a lot about Hikari from the drama CD, and, quite incredibly, Hikari’s entire presence in it involves her aggressively and assertively slamming her foot down on insisting that she get to play with Miyako in Spain. This is important because Hikari is basically threatening to fight people over something that she personally wants. It has nothing to do with saving the world or anything, it’s just a trip, and if you want to argue it’s “burdening” people, you’d have a pretty good case because it’s making the planning for this trip harder -- but the point is, Hikari is finally, finally asserting something she wants, for herself, to the point of arguing with people over it.
The fact that it’s specifically in regards to hanging out with Miyako makes the implication clear: Miyako, the person directly responsible for breaking through to her eight years prior, rubbed off on her, and Hikari finally became more free to indulge in her own personal desires through hanging out with and emotionally connecting with her. And, after all, it’s not like Hikari’s become a completely selfish person; she’s insisting on this all in good fun, and she immediately backs down as soon as she realizes Daisuke has a much more meaningful reason behind his trip, even complimenting him for it. All it is, is simply that Hikari learned to stop pushing down her own feelings when it came to what she personally wanted, and has started to properly vocalize.
This is also especially because, as many have pointed out, Hikari’s behavior in front of the 02 crowd in the drama CD is very different from her behavior in front of the other Adventure group members. Because, after all, as much as she certainly does adore them, they’re all her elders and not exactly her social friends, and since she spent so many years being emotionally difficult to break through to, they’re not necessarily the closest people to her in the world. But in front of the 02 group, which was instrumental in reaching out to her emotionally and truly, truly getting to know her, she happily and cheerfully joins in the chaotic mess that they are, and feels more comfortable openly asserting what she wants.
#digimon#digimon adventure#digimon adventure 02#digimon adventure last evolution kizuna#yagami hikari#hikari yagami#shihameta#kizuna spoilers
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THE YEAR IS 2020 AND I WATCHED NEON GENESIS EVANGELION FOR THE FIRST TIME, PART 3
Episode 11.
Self-governance is an illusion and humanity has replaced the decision-making process with some supercomputers because no one's read "I Have No Mouth and I Mist Scream".
The rest of Episode 11 and Episode 12 behind the cut.
So, there's this episode of Johnny Quest where a spaceship crash lands outside this military base and it leaves behind this black orb that in the night opens and it's a glowing red eye and super long spider legs extend and it shoots a laser out of its eye. The Angel in this episode reminds me of the giant space spider robot in that episode of Johnny Quest but it's like a rhomboid instead of an orb and it is covered in triangles and each triangle has an eye and later the eyes cry orange acid and that's upsetting but I love spider.
There's a power outage in this episode caused by I think the Angel just throwing a breaker and shutting everything down and absolutely no one was prepared for this eventuality. Like, everything is underground mostly and what emergency power there is gets diverted from the life support to the supercomputers which seems like the kind of decision EVIL SUPERCOMPUTERS WOULD MAKE but that's not even the important thing.
Shinji's been told by his teacher to talk to his dad because the kids are doing, like, their future goal planning guidance counselor stuff or whatever and parents need to be involved and the little scene of Shinji calling his father from a payphone is heartbreaking. Just awkward anxious stuttering mostly focused on Shinji's empty hand clenching and unclenching helplessly while his father interrupts him to tell him to spit it out already and tell him why he's broken what seems to be a no contact rule between them and it's so real. So futile. Shinji really tries to tell his father the message he's supposed to pass on only to get the brush-off again, the whole thing impatiently dismissed as unimportant and part of all the responsibilities for Shinji that have been delegated to Misato. Then we get the beginning of what is clearly Shinji's father telling his assistant not to forward Shinji's calls in the future before the power outage and the call disconnects. Shinji tries to talk to about this to Asuka and Rei. The disconnect has just enough uncertainty to it that Asuka is able to go 'sounds like a tech problem stop worrying so much and reading into it you wiener'. Shinji tries to lie to himself that Asuka's right even though this is just the latest bit of abusive negligence from his dad. It's sad, it's just so sad, it makes me so sad and there's no one to tell Shinji straight up that his dad sucks and is neglecting him and it's not cool and there's no excuse, not really.
There's stuff with the kids needing to get to NERV with the power out, Asuka trying to get into a power play with the others that they are completely disinterested in, a clearly anxious and adrift Shinji asking '... it's weird we're being attacked by things we call angels right?'
The kids get to the robots which have been prepared for them. Shinji sees his father working with the grunts to get the robots ready all analogue and hand-cranked or whatever and he's allowed to believe this is because his dad had faith the kids, including Shinji, would get there. Which is such a cruel lie to perpetuate about this man who was ready to drop a nuke on his son in the last episode, but Shinji takes it and actually gets into the robot with spirit because he's so desperate to believe that he's even on his father's radar, let alone important to him.
They have to chop a bunch of tubes with axes so the robots can punch and kick their way to the Angel and get acid-cried on and when the tubes are axed they gush really upsetting fluid and I hate it. But mostly I just keep thinking about Shinji's empty hand clutching at nothing while trying to get his father to hear him. This concludes my report on Episode 11 of Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Episode 12.
In the year 2000, as we all remember, Antarctica got blown the fuck up by an energy giant appearing. Who survived this incident? Misato and I assume a single penguin. Misato was a child who was there with her father because no one knows what work-life balance is or where it's appropriate to bring children and to save her, her father put her in a metal coffin tube. TRAUMA.
Back in the present (I have now forgotten what year this is supposed to be taking place in), Misato has been promoted to major and Shinji's two friends, the horny boys who try to have an empathy, notice before Shinji and Asuka do (parental figures can never change). It turns out with her promotion and Shinji's shitty dad and that other old dude being away (in Antarctica where everything is blood and northern lights), Misato is the most senior person at NERV and I got a feeling so complicated. Because it's great that professionally Misato is getting recognition and authority, especially in the wake of Kaji existing, but ... Misato is a disaster and NERV is a disaster and being the top disaster dog of a disaster seems ... not great.
There's a bit that is both sweet and sad where Shinji's friends make them throw a little party to celebrate Misato's promotion and they are genuinely trying to do something nice for her even if it's partially propelled by horniness but also ... no peers? Honey. (Ritsuko and Kaji do show up so it's not just Misato and middle schoolers but Kaji is a negative to the adult count, the peer count, and the friend count so it's all null.)
The important thing in this episode is the connection and parallels between Shinji and Misato. Shinji realizes that although they're celebrating her promotion, Misato isn't happy. Misato admits this is kind of the case and Shinji is baffled. The promotion means that outside authority figures have recognized Misato's hard work and are validating it and why wouldn't that make Misato happy? Surely that's why people do things, to get external validation? Because it's why Shinji makes the decisions he makes. Validation and happiness are complicated, naturally, and it's saying that, but also implicit in the exchange is that Shinji has never received external validation. This is his holy grail. Once he has that surely everything will feel different.
When an Angel that looks like an orange boomerang or maybe a bop-it with an huge eyeball in the centre attacks and Misato's in charge, she uses her authority to make some wild and risky calls which boil down to 'throw all the teens in robots at it at once'.
The Angel drops orange globs of itself onto the earth below and each glob is like a little nuke that leaves a smoking crater behind but it's pretty cute, like someone put decarabia from SMT through a funhouse mirror. Not a fan of the orange globs, though.
Ritsuko confronts Misato in the bathroom about making bad decisions for the wrong reasons (as opposed to her usual bad decisions but for the right reason), suggesting that Misato just wants to get revenge on the Angels and destroy them which ... is what I thought NERV was for? It seems very double-standard and bullshit and I don't buy it as being something that makes Misato's decisions any better or worse than they would be otherwise. Ritsuko just seems to be covering her ass because Shinji's dad is away and only he gets to send teens into death.
Misato takes some time to explain to Shinji why she joined NERV and the complicated feelings she has not towards the Angels but to her father, who was a shitty father who was emotionally distant and neglectful and only seems to have managed to be a good dad once before promptly dying. Misato is still trying to figure out the intersection between anger and grief and how to feel about a man who does important work and to who she doubly owes her life but who was a shitty dad in a moment-by-moment sense. The guilt of still being angry, even after his death: Misato is still grappling with this and the echoes of shitty parenting, a cyclical thing that she is simultaneously enabling and attempting to divert by stepping into Shinji's life and it's no surprise something she's still grappling with flies over Shinji's head.
The kids get in the robots to fight the Angel all at once in Misato's reckless plan that works because ALL THE PLANS ARE THROWING TEENS IN ROBOTS AT GIANT MONSTERS. One of the kids tears the membrane off the giant eye and stabs it with a giant robot knife and it's gross. ALSO on defeat the Angel STILL BLOWS UP AND LEAVES A HUGE CRATER, SOMEHOW THIS IS SUCCESS?
Shinji's shitty dad calls in to validate and commend Misato's incredibly reckless decision because of course he doesn't have a problem with plans that might kill teens. He was ready to nuke his son an episode ago! Shinji's shitty dad then speaks to him directly, calls him by name, and basically tells him 'good work' and between this and his talks with Misato, Shinji learns the lesson that if he continues to do this thing he hates beyond all understanding, his father will see him. It's awful because Misato was trying to find words to explain how fleeting to nothingness external validation is when it doesn't align with your own desires and this didn't reach Shinji but also because what his father gives him is lip service. Empty words. Nothing. But they're still the most Shinji seems to have ever gotten from his father and so this nothing is everything. This concludes my report on Episode 12 of Neon Genesis Evangelion.
Supplemental: with how poorly Misato explains things to Shinji, it feels like she's never spoken about her anger towards her father and her anger about her anger being complicated by his sacrifice and death. She has no real friends she feels safe opening up to.
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Your post about Gin "messing with people's heads" makes me think, doesn't this also apply to Ulquiorra? He also psychologically tortured Inoue, don't you think it's hypocritical to say Gin's actions don't nullify the bad things he did, but say that UH is good/not toxic? I'm not trying to hate on you, I don't ship anything in Bleach, I just wanted to know why Gin is considered a bad inexcusable guy but Ulquiorra's relationship with Inoue is glorified?
This will get… really long. I’m genuinely sorry it’s this long.
I never said Ulqiorra did nothing wrong (though it’s fair to say I didn’t happen to specifically point it out), or that UH is a ship with many positive feelings associated to it. That would be… an interesting take. I hope you don’t think I think that. But I also need you to understand that I don’t base my taste in ships on what I desire/consider healthy in real life. They exist in the context of the canon — not interchangeable with reality considering the existence of superpowers, ghosts, semi-human creatures and time warping — and that’s where it ends for me. Applying the dynamics in my ships to any situation other than the precise one of Bleach’s canon would make them fundamentally different.
I’ve wanted to mention this about Ulquiorra for a while now and I’ll take the occasion to do so. It’s a mistake to put him in the same framework as a human or shinigami. (The latter two also have their differences but based on observation shinigami seem to behave in a much more human-like manner compared to hollows/arrancars.) He’s practically incapable of understanding what empathy is or find any good reason not to hurt other people, which is why it’s surprising when he manages to grasp even a shred of the concept right before dying. Hollows are born from experiencing such severe pain that it distorts their whole ‘essence’, so something has gone terribly wrong with them emotionally by definition, whether they evolve to arrancar form or not. Ulquiorra’s aspect of death, his ‘theme’, is emptiness — characterized by complete neutrality towards everything. Since a person with a healthy mindset tends to focus on danger and negative events, neutrality often comes across as immoral for being equally conceding towards moral right and moral wrong. The point is, Ulquiorra’s motivations for provoking Inoue had nothing to do with him taking joy in causing pain to her. In fact, it’s hinted he’s not even fully aware he’s doing it, like the scene where he tells Inoue he’d laugh at her friends’ foolishness in her place. He’s unaffected by most things AND has difficulty placing himself in others’ perspective, which results in him assuming everyone around him would be unaffected. The only thing that factored into him doing just about anything was curiosity, the need to fill the void, however you want to put it. If a human or shinigami behaved the same way he did around Inoue, it would come across in a vastly different way and I’m not sure it would even interest me as a ship. Ulquiorra is not only a hollow, but a hollow with a particular impediment in understanding how others feel, and this is an integral part of him as a character, of his interactions, of UH, of anything regarding him. I know it’s funny as a fandom meme to act as if he were human, but he’s NOT and this needs to be kept in mind.
This applies to any arrancar or espada, really. It’s tempting to judge them on the same basis as enemies who are closer to humanity, mainly because of their appearance and intellect. But this is the trick itself the narrative plays, a progression that has been present in Bleach since the start: it created a human/monster (shinigami/hollow here) dichotomy, then spent the longest arc deconstructing it by blurring the lines between the two. It doesn’t matter how smart and eloquent the espada manage to get, the only productive way of interpreting them is as people who are missing a very core part of their personality, so someone severely psychologically ill. (I say this as someone who has their own problems, before it gets misinterpreted as condescension.) Should this absolve them from punishment? Bleach says a very clear no. They almost all get killed by shinigami, in Ulquiorra’s case Ichigo specifically — Ichigo, who, by his own admission, empathized with everyone he fought and even gets angry at Yammy for speaking ill of Ulquiorra after his death. (I don’t want to start arguing about how he was in hollow state when he defeated him. He would have killed Ulquiorra either way if he continued to stand in the way of protecting his friends.)
In summary, the espada aren’t human. Ulquiorra isn’t human. It’s unrealistic to expect him to behave like a human. You’re free to pick who you want to have compassion for among Bleach’s positive and negative characters and if you decide Ulquiorra is irredeemable in your opinion, that’s fine — many characters would agree. But at the very least it can be objectively said that Bleach spends a lot of time presenting ‘evil’ characters’ perspectives as nuanced and explicable instead of writing them off. It gives the audience a choice in the matter. A core message of the entire story is that we’re subjective and maybe we’ll never manage to see the world the same way as someone else, but that’s fine and it doesn’t make us all that different; hollows can become *almost* shinigami, shinigami can become *almost* hollows, and they both have ways to relate to one another while retaining the insurmountable differences and even fighting and killing each other.
Now, onto Gin. First off, you seem to be under the impression that I don’t like him as a character. That couldn’t be further from the truth; I only said it in the tags because I figured saying it in the post would have sounded like making excuses, which is not what the post was about. I don’t know if I would call him a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ person. All I know is that I really enjoyed him as a character and I could see how he evoked sympathy — in the tragic way antagonists do when they get some sort of redemption. I noticed it’s a common tool in fiction to make an impact on the audience, I suppose because we’re happier when we see ‘bad people getting fixed’ rather than someone already good doing more good things. It’s a Prodigal Son type of thing; can be argued about but it definitely makes an impact.
Gin is a quintessential ‘mysterious type’; he has a long-running plan that he executes throughout almost his entire life without ever consulting with anyone (an important detail). He had a hypothesis on what would be the most effective way to kill Aizen and constructed a convoluted plan based on it — a plan where the ends would have justified the means in many, many situations, and that required causing problems to a lot of people. He had, however, no certainty that what he was doing would lead to the desired results (which it then didn’t…). A lot of his provocation was a means to create a certain image of himself and there’s a big question of where to draw the line there, whether all of that was absolutely necessary. Leaving to Hueco Mundo and technical demonstrations of loyalty were, sure, but mocking Rukia on her way to being executed? He considered keeping everything a secret a prerequisite for things to work out — presumably because if he talked to anyone, Aizen could have noticed — but was it, really? Many of his actions were based on his personal judgement on what would and wouldn’t have ruined the façade, subjective and hunch-based since he didn’t know the outcome for sure.
Gin isn’t inexcusable, but I noticed a lack of emphasis on the damage his actions caused among fans, both because of the chronological order of the story and his affiliation with the protagonists’ side. Because the last thing he did was a good thing, that’s what he’s remembered by, without taking into account the sum total of his interactions with others. He posited himself as vicious until the last moment and did so consciously. Ulquiorra had a very, very gradual progression in the way he talked to Inoue, which doesn’t make it less rude and traumatic, but there’s a difference between him showing up and telling her she ‘has no rights’ and later taking an active interest in her views on the Heart. It would be equally reductive to interpret him by his last moment and nothing else, but all he did before led to that moment progressively, while Gin’s was a very abrupt twist.
My post was a comment on psychology on the most basic, technical level, not a moral judgement. The two are separate in the way we process trauma and that’s exactly what I find interesting. Having strong negative emotions associated to a memory (what I think Kira, Hinamori, Hitsugaya or Rangiku could have had with Gin’s betrayal) creates a very subconscious reaction that can hardly be fixed by suddenly finding out it was necessary for a positive cause, which is why healing from trauma requires years of therapy. Because *in that moment* you didn’t have that knowledge, the pain remains in your memory and it’s not a matter of logical reasoning. Now, I’m not saying Ulquiorra’s interactions with Inoue were numerous or productive enough to properly process the trauma he caused her — the canon info is ambivalent on how comfortable Inoue was around him towards the end of her captivity because there’s both scenes like the famous slapping one *and* her seeming more light-hearted towards Ulquiorra in Unmasked, plus no one has any idea of which came before which. All things considered, I think repeated discussion and an attempt at mutual understanding does a better job at elaborating something traumatic than one single piece of information on why what traumatized you was justified. And note that the *only reason* the understanding between Ulquiorra and Inoue could have been mutual is because Inoue was exceptionally patient, empathetic and willing to face discomfort, way beyond the base level or what should be expected from anyone. Even if it was a *small amount* of *not very productive* discussion, it’s better than one act in my opinion (which most of the people who had some sort of issue with Gin didn’t even directly witness). Which of them is *morally worse* depends on how you draw the lines and define morality and that’s not something I feel qualified to decide.
So, in the end;Ulquiorra:-working towards enemy goals overtly-motivated by curiosity, which can be considered self-oriented-gradual improvement-not fully conscious of the emotional impact of his actions-Inoue considers him an ambivalent presence but “Isn’t afraid”, in her words-half-succeeded, as in: failed the goal of killing Ichigo but sated his curiosity
Gin:-working towards enemy goals on the surface and soul society goals covertly-motivated by attachment to Rangiku and/or revenge, less self-oriented but still focused on close acquaintances -long-running façade of being a terrible person followed by a sudden twist towards the good side-completely aware of everything he’s doing, plan laid out hundreds of years in advance-Gotei 13 don’t interact with Gin throughout HM arc, consider the traitors a lost cause-failed to kill Aizen
Instead of this encyclopedia I could have just written “Gin isn’t irredeemable, I just said he did bad things before”, but I thought too much about it. And I might go through spelling mistakes once I wake up.
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explanations! under the cut because theres a lot
My reasoning for both ephemer and brain comes from how I wanted them to contrast each other, in how they deal with knowledge and relevance. For ephemer, I picked void for him because from the beginning he's looking for information that is lost, or hidden from the union leaders. He's kind of relegated to the shadows, from when he disappears from daybreak town to being uncomfortable with leading the union leaders, to his own era of scala ad caelum being lost to history. He's looking for answers but they're all in places lost and forgotten, and that changes himself into losing himself too, by the end of khux. This leads into his class too, heir being a class that changes or is changed by their aspect. For brain, part of why I gave him light is that he's favored more by the narrative. He is chosen to receive the BoP by ava, and is chosen by luxu in the end for this. He also shares the light player one track mind and determination, as well as the impulse to overestimate his capability and land himself in trouble because of it. His class comes more from his loner instincts, to know things for himself and keep to himself, even though he learns to share his knowledge later on.
for skuld I wanted to draw on her nature and manner. She's has a very good natured impulse, to do right by people. She has a very strong moral compass, and a commitment to the rules but she's not willing to bypass them if it will help anyone. She's not naive but she does seem young, and willing to see the best in people. All of these qualities I think fit the life aspect for her, as well as making her similar to other life players found in homestuck. Her class comes from the theory that a knight often represents an aspect that is lacking in their particular session. Her empathy is not shared by many of the other union keyblade wielders and is what saves her from the war by causing her to join the dandelions, and compares her to ava, whose own nature and qualities are rare among the foretellers as well.
lauriam was difficult, with the problem of trying to figure out how to make his narrative in khux match with his later one as marluxia. Hope and rage as aspects, are very close to kh's conception of light and darkness with hope representing idealism, belief, and impossible odds and rage representing pessimism, skepticism, and negativity. With lauriam being a thief of rage, he's stealing darkness for his own use, but also stealing skepticism and mistrust, which allows him to see the cracks in the data world first in his search for strelitzia. This becomes even stronger with marluxia, who is trying to find his past, to steal the organization for himself, to understand his new identity and era but ultimately fails.
elrena, although she is very different from her later counterpart of larxene, I found easier to classpect. Page was an easy choice for her, as a character that is meek and shy and first but is much more powerful and confident in her later appearances. I liked doom as an aspect for her not just because I'm fond of it, but also as it feeds into her uncertainty, her willingness to assume her fate has already been decided and she should stay behind the data world, to assume the worst and her apathetic attitude (I was just along for the ride). As well as her later willingness to inflict harm on others (serving doom through her class)
strelitzia was difficult because even we know so little about her, I wanted to give her an interesting classpect that fit her well and could tie into her role in kh4. But her classpect was also hard because she is such an important character to the story but is defined posthumously by her relationships with others. At first I was looking for a classpect that gives itself away, given how relevance is stolen from her first by darkness and ven and then later her relevance in the story is inherited by characters like lauriam, elrena, and the player. But being screwed over by the story doesn't define a person's classpect, it's a part of the narrative. So instead, I started thinking of ones that would fit her character while also being narratively weighty, in a way that would put a target on her back. Like with skuld, I thought she shared quite a bit of characteristics with space players from homestuck (a wide imagination, feminine aesthetics, optimism, as well as an isolation from others). But also how if space is the aspect of creation and idealism she creates space for the people she cares about to survive, bringing them into the narrative through her connections to them. Her class as sylph comes from the way lauriam speaks about her (you make everyone's lives so much brighter) that she heals or helps people just from her presence. But it also leads into her death, and the tragedy of it. How once she screws up her courage to do something she is brought low by the narrative, for acting outside of her imagined role.
player's most cherished things are their relationships, connecting to the classic kh ideal (my friends are my power!) it's no wonder that they would have blood, the aspect about connections and personal ties as an aspect. Their class of seer comes from how they can see how those relationships connect and interweave. In the end, it is specifically their relationships to skuld and ephemer that allow them to twist the knife in such a way that lead to them destroying darkness. Seeing the lines and knowing how to manipulate them.
ventus is a strange one. He's also often used as a tool by the narrative and by larger players in it, but again that's not enough to give someone a classpect, it has to come from within. Hope is very close to kh's idea of light, which I do think fits for ven who is made of and defined by pure light. The interesting part is his class, as bard is a passive class but a destroyer too. Ven is partially of a destroyer of hope in that he is (unwittingly) possessed, bringing darkness with him into the future, fulfilling the BoP and being (partially) responsible for the events to come, literally destroying hope for the future. However he destroys Through hope too, literally using it to fight back against darkness. He embodies both destroying with and through his aspect and that makes his whole deal very interesting and fun
Khux classpects
having fun and putting my blorbos into homestucks weird narrative personality system-what more can i say? my current reads on all the characters are as follows:
ephemer- heir of void
brain- mage of light
skuld- knight of life
lauriam- thief of rage
elrena- page of doom
strelitzia- sylph of space
player- seer of blood
ventus- bard of hope
ill probably reblog later with more explanation
#kingdom hearts#khux#update#ive thought about doing this for soooooo long#very excited to finally have some conrete words about it down
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What is rich-washing?

INTRODUCTION
What is rich-washing? It is when cultural products and advertising make it seem like everyone is rich.
It's similar to whitewashing, where a problem is covered up and made to seem fine, when it is not; or Hollywood whitewashing, where white actors take roles over people of colour; or activist whitewashing, where white activists are spotlighted over people of colour; or greenwashing, where things are made to seem environmentally good, when they are not.
Much has been written about the media biases regarding sexism, racism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, harmful depictions of mental illness, and other biases that stereotype or denigrate specific groups of people. However, not as much has been written about classism in North American media and entertainment.
Rich-washing is a type of classism, but it is much more than that.
Rich-washing completely flips the facts: in the real world, there’s a huge majority of financially precarious people at the bottom and a tiny minority at the top.
And for those at the very top in the U.S., their wealth is growing.
Rich-washing takes the bulk of people on the planet and makes them disappear –– they are over-looked, glossed over, cropped out of the picture, written out of the story.
Rich-washing is gas-lighting on a grand scale. It is so wide-spread that it is almost invisible. Like the dish soap ad used to say, we’re soaking in it.
Because it is such a blatant misrepresentation of the world, rich-washing has many harmful effects on people and the planet. It is important to expose this type of propaganda to reduce its harm.
However, the answer is not to change entertainment to only reflect social reality. No, this is not a call for censorship, but to point out how pop-culture is currently censored by those who hold the purse strings. Ultimately, the answer is to change our social reality to make it less harsh and more livable for everyone. More on this at the end.
Pop-culture is being censored by those who hold the purse strings
Most people are not rich but you’d never know that in today’s 21st century North American TV shows, movies, print media, social media and especially advertisements. (For whatever reason, entertainment in the UK has more social realism and much less rich-washing.)
Images of the rich and super-rich have come to dominate everything in a massive cultural mono-crop of shining hair shining teeth shining cars and shining homes filled with shining gadgets.
Yes, there are exceptions (see end). However, these exceptions are mostly “drowned in a sea of irrelevance” (as Aldous Huxley said).
Ursula Franklin called this general effect “censorship by stuffing”. Specifically with rich-washing, the ‘rich’ images are so numerous that they obliterate every other view of society.
“It is all too easy to confuse the sheer quantity of media with diversity of viewpoint. We do not notice that essentially the same messages are being repeated.” –– Mediaspeak, 1983
Get out the corporate pressure-washer, aim it at the public, turn it on max.
Or as Bertolt Brecht said: “The powerful of the earth create the poor but they cannot bear to look at them.”
Advertisers also don’t like it when the poor look at each other.
“In the 1960s... CBS dropped a number of popular prime-time shows such as ‘The Beverly Hillbillies’ and ‘Andy Griffith’ because they attracted the wrong audience –– elderly, low income, and rural viewers. Advertisers had become keen on young, affluent urbanites…” ––Social Communication in Advertising, 1986

One of the worst things rich-washing does is make people think they are in a minority when in fact they are a huge majority.
Most Americans, for example, live paycheck-to-paycheck according to Forbes.
Rich-washing takes an enormous psychological toll because it creates the idea that lack of income is some kind of personal failing, rather than a systemic economic failing that affects many, many people. That’s one reason why unemployment is a huge factor in suicides.
“When the money isn’t there... feelings of deprivation, personal failure, and deep psychic pain result. In a culture where consuming means so much, not having money is a profound social disability.” ––Juliet Schor, The Overspent American,1999
Rich-washing also creates social solidarity and affinity with the rich, since proximity creates affinity.
People get used to seeing things from the point of view of the rich and may also take on the idea that their own riches are just around the corner. This has political implications (more on that below).
In addition, it’s common for negative characteristics to be attached to people who are poor.
Laziness, criminality, stupidity, and lack of morals, are often characteristics attributed to fictional poor people. This has real world consequences.
Film critic Roger Ebert famously said that movies create empathy.
“...the movies are like a machine that generates empathy. It lets you understand a little bit more about different hopes, aspirations, dreams and fears. It helps us to identify with the people who are sharing this journey with us."
While many movies have indeed had a positive effect on society because of this empathy effect, entertainment products can also empower negative stereotypes. And when it comes to the war on the poor, Hollywood most definitely is not on the side of the poor.
“In a lot of films, especially coming out of Hollywood, less fortunate families are portrayed as imbeciles.” ––Chris Stuckmann, movie review of Parasite, Nov. 6, 2019
“It’s a central assumption of our pop-culture that people who have nice shit are good, and people in poverty are bad.” ––Cracked Podcast, “Why pop-culture hates poor people” 2015-03-02
“There’s class warfare, all right, but it’s my class, the rich class, that’s making war, and we’re winning.” ––Warren Buffet, quoted in Plutocrats by Chrystia Freeland, 2012
With all the vilification and humiliation of poor people in pop-culture, who would want to identify with the poor and not the rich? Who would want to identify with the economic losers and not the economic winners?
“…it is the general policy of advertisers to glamorize their products, the people who buy them, and the whole American and economic scene.” ––Elmer Rice, quoted in Mediaspeak, 1983
Advertisements are highly polished rich-washing because companies need their products associated with winners not losers.
But rich-washing sells more than just consumer products.
Rich-washing sells political ideas.
Rich-washing reinforces policies and laws that benefit those at the top of the income pyramid. So it is not surprising when we learn that income inequality and wealth concentration have been getting worse.
Income inequality and wealth concentration in the U.S. increasing since 1980s.
“Ray Dalio, the billionaire founder of the world’s biggest hedge fund, says income inequality in the U.S. has become so dire that if he were in the White House, he would declare it a national emergency.” Barron’s, 2019
Instead of looking at the big picture and wondering why is it that so many people are poor, people assume or are told that it is their own fault if they are poor. People point fingers at themselves, at other poor people (lateral violence), but almost never up at the top.
“If there was ever a system which enchanted its subjects with dreams (of freedom, of how your success depends on yourself, of the run of luck which is just around the corner, of unconstrained pleasures…), then it is capitalism.” ––Slavoj Zizek, First as Tragedy, Then as Farce, 2009
This type of deflection ––away from the rich and scapegoating the poor–– was also behind the witch-burning craze of centuries ago.
Anthropologist Marvin Harris in his book on “the Riddles of Culture” noted:
“the principal result of the witch-hunt system (aside from charred bodies) was that the poor came to believe that they were being victimized by witches and devils instead of princes and popes.” ––Mavin Harris, Cows, Pigs, Wars and Witches, 1975
It turns out that if you get people fearful of imaginary things and suspicious of their neighbours, they are less likely to join together in a peasant revolt and storm the castle, pitchforks in hand.
“It is from us and our labour that everything comes, with which They maintain Their pomp [!]” John Ball of the violent Peasant Revolt of 1381
When it comes to numbers, it should be obvious that the one percenters at the top have a precarious hold on power.
“Why has the response to rising inequality been a drive to reduce taxes on the rich? ... It’s not a simple matter of rich people voting themselves a better deal: there just aren’t enough of them.” ––Paul Krugman, The Great Unraveling, 2003
Rich-washing protects the status-quo by reinforcing the idea that most people are rich, and if you are not, it is your own fault. Rich-washing thus deepens poverty and enlarges the holdings of the super-wealthy.
Rich-washing can also push people into unhealthy behaviours –– everything from compulsive shopping and debt, to self-medicating, and even crime.
As it turns out, when people started watching TV in America in the 1950s, a particular type of crime suddenly rose: larceny (theft of private property). Researchers attributed the increase in larceny to feelings of “relative deprivation and frustration” and that upper- and middle class lifestyles were “overwhelmingly portrayed” on TV. (Impact of the introduction of television on crime in the United States, 1982, noted in Mediaspeak, 1983)
Another troubling by-product of rich-washing is how people become very vulnerable to scams and schemes.
“We are no longer ‘family’ we are ‘warm prospects.’ ––anonymous reviewer of False Profits, 2015
People want to believe the promises of all kinds of scammers offering them the American Dream. (Check out Season 1 of The Dream podcast). Because of the shame and pain of being poor, because of being an outcast from the perceived norm of upper-middle class consumption, people are desperate to get some dignity and hope back. Many women get into recruitment marketing for “the sense of community, friendship, and purpose that comes with being a vendor.”
However, less than one percent of Multi-Level Marketing participants make a profit.
“Failure and loss rates for MLMs are not comparable with legitimate small businesses, which have been found to be profitable for 39% over the lifetime of the business; whereas less than 1% of MLM participants profit. MLM makes even gambling look like a safe bet in comparison.” (PDF) John M. Taylor, 2011 Consumer Awareness Institute paper at FTC.gov.
Ironically, the stories of big-time con artists and scammers have become popular entertainment themselves and are the subject of many documentaries, movies and podcasts.
Finally, the biggest harm from rich-washing is to the environment ––our biosphere upon which all life depends.
“Modern economies expand, but the ecosystems that provide for them do not.” ––Steven Stoll, The Great Delusion, 2008

Mass consumption is a requirement of the current economic growth model and rich-washing helps keep it all going. So we end up with things like ‘fast fashion’, disposable everything, and planned obsolescence.
“Left unconstrained by other forces, the free-market system is one of the most restless, destructive arrangements ever contrived ––tearing down and building up, obsoleting last year’s fashions and praising this year’s, ... and scheming always to reduce the arts and sciences to sycophancy. None of which is a secret...” ––Thomas Frank, The Wrecking Crew, 2008
Rich-washing irony ––who is ruining the environment: rich or poor?
“World's richest 10% produce half of global carbon emissions, says Oxfam” ––Guardian, 2015
Rich-washing has another sadistic effect on low income people’s mental health. The world, it seems, is waking up to the potentially catastrophic harm being inflicted on the environment. And yet poor people are still made to feel like pieces of shit, even though they consume the least and do the least harm to the planet. So really... f*ck off with your spectacle of sparkling gold-plated glorification of the wealthy, please.
Three reasons for rich-washing
As previously mentioned, one reason for rich-washing is that corporations want their advertisements to reach higher income viewers. Another reason for rich-washing is for political propaganda: it protects the status quo by pushing the idea that everyone is mostly rich, and if you are poor, it is your own fault.
A third reason for rich-washing is that media creators, like everyone else, need to survive financially. Creators need to attract viewers. In most cases, this has led to an overwhelming focus on the rich and famous.
“Sponsors prefer beautiful people in mouth-watering decor, to convey what it means to climb the socio-economic ladder...” ––Mediaspeak, 1983
Today, due to an increasingly crowded arena and variety of cultural products, this is a bigger challenge than ever before. What’s going to get people’s attention? What’s going to be popular escapism? Very often this will be flashy settings, fancy costumes, a focus on the wealthy or the royal. Just how many shows about royalty do we need? Never too many apparently.
And when a story goes for gritty settings and characters, this usually means crime, jolting action and high conflict.
As Jerry Mander wrote in his now ancient 1977 book about television, things like violence, death, jealously, lust, materialism, conflict, the loud, the bizarre, the shocking and the superficial are easier to depict on television than their quiet, cooperative, and nuanced opposites. He laments that this is the type of world that TV “inevitably transmits”. No wonder he argued for the elimination of television.
(However, it should be noted that people used to worry about bad effects from “penny dreadfuls” and pocket-books, although Mander points out that watching TV puts people in a passive state, but reading does not.)
David Simon, creator of The Wire, one of the most critically acclaimed TV series ever made, had this to say about the impact of advertising on media:
“And how exactly do we put Visa-wielding consumers in a buying mood when they are being reminded of how many of their countrymen - black, white and brown - have been shrugged aside by the march of unrestrained bottom-line capitalism?” ––David Simon, The Wire, Truth Be Told (book), 2009, HBO
(Read more about The Wire below, under “Exceptions”)
Another irony about media rich-washing…
Low income people often consume a lot of escapist media because it is a cheap and easy way to get a break from the health-ruining, cortisol-producing daily grind of life on poverty incomes. Fictional and fantastical worlds are often the only affordable escape for those of meagre means. Thus, it is not surprising when people get an intense attachment to their favourite entertainment if it provides them with stress release, comfort and meaning.
“… a 21-year-old in Michigan, finds it easier to get excited about playing games than his part-time job making sandwiches…” ––Andrew Yang, The War on Normal People, 2018
The opening scene of the movie Ready Player One envisions an extreme dystopian version of this. Rickety trailers in squalid surroundings are stacked sky high. Those living inside wear virtual reality goggles to escape from their over-crowded lives into limitless virtual worlds.
It’s important to note that escapism as a form of coping with stress and trauma has its place. The answer is not to take away people’s beloved forms of escapism. (E.g. the excellent book by Raziel Reid “When Everything Feels Like the Movies”.) The answer is for humanity to strive to create a healthier and less stressful world where people don’t feel such a tremendous need to escape from reality.
But you don’t need to watch dystopian movies to see that public spaces are shrinking and becoming more unlivable. Even city benches are designed to be a miserable experience. (You know. To solve homelessness of course.) It is no wonder people stare into their screens like never before. We are ruining the public sphere and forcing people into private spaces where the goodness or badness of those places is determined by how much money you have.
The bright glare of rich-washing might be dimming
“Am I alone in being disgusted by excessive wealth? It seems like a moral failing rather than something to celebrate or aspire to.” ––Nigel Warburton Philosophybites (twitter), January 19, 2020
In 2019 there were three movies that ripped the shiny bandaid of rich-washing propaganda off the reality of mass income inequality: Jordan Peele’s US, Bong Joon-Ho’s Parasite, and the controversial Joker... a character study only remotely related to the comic book story.
There’s been much written and spoken about these movies already. Suffice to say that poverty and the underclasses jump out of the screen in unexpected ways and the wealthy are not shown with shining virtuous haloes.
Even the super-rich (in real life) are starting to notice the current economic system is a disaster:
“At least a dozen billionaires have made public statements that call for the super-rich to pay more in taxes.” Forbes, Oct. 15, 2019
Meanwhile, support for a universal income benefit is spreading rapidly. (Thanks in no small part to Andrew Yang.) People are calling bullshit on the idea that there can ever be a living wage job for everyone who needs one. People are also calling bullshit on the idea that only paid work is real work. There’s a huge constituency of people who provide unpaid care for their loved ones. These unpaid carers have been diminished and ignored for far too long by both the political right (who are full of cheap platitudes about ‘the family’) and the political left (who are full of out-dated platitudes about ‘the workers’).
People are also calling bullshit on poverty itself since it’s obvious that there is more than enough for everyone on the planet to live with dignity and health. There is no reason for poverty to exist at all ––other than out-of-control greed and massive economic lies. Both of which are propped up by rich-washing.
Because of the increasingly obvious and growing gap between the haves and have-nots, cultural products might finally be moving away from rich-washing to something similar to what Brecht brought to the theatre 100 years ago:
“...the higher world of upper class sentiments is presented from the ruthless viewpoint of the common people.” ––Martin Esslin on Brecht, 1959
Rich-washing erases the vast swath of humanity from seeing any dignified reflection of themselves. It’s time to identify this assault on regular people.
To quote the Vancouver poet Bud Osborn*:
“north america tellin lies in our head make you feel like shit better off dead so most days now I say shout shout for joy shout for love shout for you shout for us shout down this system puts our souls in prison say shout for life shout with our last breath shout fuck this north american culture of death shout here we are amazingly alive against long odds left for dead shoutin this death culture dancin this death culture out of our heads”
*Bud Osborne 1947-2014, from Amazingly Alive and Other Poems, Vancouver, BC, 1997, Independent release, Lonesome Monsters
TO SUMMARIZE...
Here’s the thing. Public spaces are becoming increasingly harsh. Jobs and incomes are ever more unsteady, unpredictable and unlivable. People’s anxiety is on the rise. Healthy ways to relieve stress are few if you are broke. So people turn to entertainment as a form of escape. But this subjects them to rich-washing which is harmful to individuals, to society, and the environment.
Entertainment and advertising media have been teaching people that it is ok to hate, denigrate, or laugh at people in poverty. In addition, it has been teaching people who experience poverty to blame themselves, or even hate themselves.
“Propaganda offers him an object of hatred, for all propaganda is aimed at an enemy. And the hatred it offers him is not shameful, even hatred that he must hide, but a legitimate hatred, which he can justly feel.” ––Jacques Ellul, Propaganda, 1962
It is important to expose this type of propaganda to reduce its harm.
However, the answer is not to change entertainment to only reflect social reality. The answer is to change our reality so it is not so harsh for so many people.
Art can’t be censored. But it can be bent by those who hold the purse strings for their own purposes.
There is no reason for poverty to exist. Letting poverty exist is the costliest, stupidest and most tragic thing society can do. As described in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, people first need to eat, we need shelter, we need health care, we need a material foundation before we can hope to have healthy, happy life. When people struggle to meet physical needs, they can’t pursue happiness needs. Or to put it another way:
“Even honest folk may act like sinners, unless they've had their customary dinners” (“How to Survive” from Threepenny Opera)
Ending poverty with a universal income benefit (aka Freedom Dividend, Guaranteed Livable income, Universal Basic Income ) is the most affordable and doable solution for people and the planet. It is our best bet to create a livable economy, a livable natural environment, and a livable social and cultural environment for humans.
In a world with income security for all, we might find our entertainment would drastically change for the better. Advertisers would no longer dominate entertainment. Creators would have more freedom to create. People would no longer seek so much escapism.
Of course, we will not have utopia ––nor should we try to create a utopia. But at least we would not be flinging ourselves into a certain dystopian future because we think there’s no other choice.
A livable income for everyone gives us a choice. #Livable4all - now- for people and the planet.
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But wait! There’s more....
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EXTRA SECTION 1: FAKE POVERTY TROPES
Fake poverty tropes in popular culture are different than exceptions to rich-washing (see examples next section). They are not. They are just story-telling short-cuts. They can be fun escapist entertainment, but they are ultimately rich-washing wolves in sheep’s (cheap) clothing.
i) Rags-to-riches: When someone starts poor and ends up rich. In the past, these tales were called Horatio Alger stories, where hard work and honesty bring success to the hero. A sub-genre of this trope is the criminal rags-to-riches story. Riches are won through criminality, violence, hustles, or scams. This usually ends badly for the anti-heroe(s). However, usually not before a display of luxurious settings and wardrobes. Or in some shows, just piles and piles of cash, gold, jewels, etc.
ii) How can they afford that?: This is when people with very marginal jobs and incomes somehow have homes and/or lifestyles that would be impossible with a similar income in real life. These are the kind of TV shows that leaves the audience wondering: “What? how can they afford that?”
iii) Rich Relations: This is when financially poor characters live on the periphery of rich people. These characters might be broke and in debt, but they have close family or friends who are very well-off. Again, even though the main character might be ‘skins’, the audience is shown some fancy settings and aspirational fashion.
iv) Magic Money Wand: This is when the poverty problems of the hero are magically solved when the hero gets a sudden windfall of money from a wealthy family member, friend, mysterious benefactor, or by winning something.
EXTRA SECTON 2: RECENT EXCEPTIONS TO RICH-WASHING
There are a few notable exceptions to rich-washing described here. Note: UK productions (except for one) are not included because, for whatever reason, the UK has an abundance of TV shows and films from a working class perspective. (See also the films of Ken Loach and Tony Garnett.)
The Wire began in 2002, was only 5 seasons, and is now considered a masterpiece of television. One reviewer describes it as being about “post-industrial collapse” and “institutional dysfunction” in an American city (Baltimore). Sounds bleak, but it was rare social realism with unconventional heroes and story-telling. It had low ratings at first. Apparently, showing that the “American Dream was dead” did not catch on right away. However, HBO, which relies on subscriptions, not advertising, was willing to “simply let it be” said creator, David Simon. He also describes just how much the mass media has failed America’s disenfranchised
The Wire (TV series)
“The Wire avoided victories, preferring to show corruption, failure and decay. ... The Wire was as much journalism as entertainment – a form of protest television.” ––Dorian Lynskey, The Guardian, 2018
The Wire began in 2002, was only 5 seasons, and is now considered a masterpiece of television. One reviewer describes it as being about “post-industrial collapse” and “institutional dysfunction” in an American city (Baltimore). Sounds bleak, but it was rare social realism with unconventional heroes and story-telling. It had low ratings at first. Apparently, revealing the “American Dream was dead” did not catch on right away. However, HBO, funded by subscriptions, not advertising, was willing to “simply let it be”. according to its creator, David Simon.
“…how can a television network serve the needs of advertisers while ruminating on the empty spaces in American society and informing viewers that they are a disenfranchised people, that the processes of redress have been rusted shut, and that no one - certainly not our mass media - is going to sound any alarm?” ––David Simon, The Wire, Truth Be Told (book) 2005
Atlanta (TV series)
“...the show’s brilliance [is] at combining absurdist comedy with heartbreaking reality to create something entirely unique.” ––Yohana Desta, Vanity Fair, 2017
Atlanta is a mix of sharp social realism, sudden comic moments, gut-wrenching scenes and hard-hitting parody that includes a searing fake commercial for children’s cereal. It is like the Eduardo Galeano of TV, but with some Salvador Dali, Brecht, and comedy thrown in. Series creator Donald Glover needed to disguise his vision in order to get it made.
“I was Trojan-horsing FX. If I told them what I really wanted to do, it wouldn't have gotten made." ... My struggle is to use my humanity to create a classic work—but I don’t know if humanity is worth it, or if we’re going to make it. I don’t know if there’s much time left.”––Donald Glover interview, New Yorker, 2018
Black Mirror - Fifteen Million Merits (series)
“What archetype dystopian future does Black Mirror’s “Fifteen Million Merits” choose to model itself after? Orwell’s or Huxley’s? The answer ends up being: a little bit of both.” ––Den of Geek, 2018
Fifteen Million Merits stars Daniel Kaluuya (also the star of Get Out). The episode begins with a dystopian-lite near-future story. However, it quickly compresses the characters ––and viewers–– into a painful claustrophobic nightmare vision of a capitalist hostage-taking entertainment monopoly.
Breaking Bad (TV series)
This was massively popular show that ran from 2008 to 2013. The main character is a chemistry teacher named Walt who was first motivated to be Bad due to a cancer diagnosis and fear for the financial future of his family. However, once he started down the bad path, he quickly accelerated to the far reaches of very bad badness. Partly this was because of his ‘almost-got-rich’ backstory. In one episode he goes to the house party of his former business partner who is now very wealthy. Walt’s feelings of poverty, failure, and humiliation are stark. In real life this pain is usually turned inward, but in the show it becomes grist for the monster that the character becomes. Millions of people related to this character who lived under the fear of poverty in the land of plenty.
However, Breaking Bad is mostly a rags-to-riches fake poverty trope even though it was a lower-middle class character’s fear of rags that sparked his need and greed for riches. With its very individualistic focus, the story continues the myth of independence carried over from the fictional old wild west of heroes and outlaws. But in this case the outlaw is the hero.
But perhaps its lasting legacy will be an oft seen meme showing how Breaking Bad would have had no story at all had it been set in a country with universal healthcare. It’s accurate to say the real monster in Breaking Bad is a modern wealthy country without healthcare.
Shameless (TV series)
“Few shows have attempted to situate themselves in the living nightmare of poverty—the country’s quiet shame, the marginalized that the middle and upper classes don’t want to see next to the numbing comfort of Modern Family. Television ignores the poor just as Americans do.” ––Flood Magazine, 2016
In a lot of ways Shameless is a big brash bold exception to rich-washing. The creator of the semi-autobiographical British version said “It’s not blue collar; it’s no collar.” However, after 9 seasons, the US version succumbs to several fake poverty tropes. Nonetheless, it is unique, and its many fans find the characters in the chaotic, desperate, scrounging, scamming, and poverty-stricken Gallager family relatable.
“I love how it addresses sex, drugs, poverty, absent parents, and other topics like those.” ––commenter, TV Criticism blog, 2014
Critics have questioned the series for its condescending stereotypes, for turning poverty into entertainment, for relying on too many nude scenes, and for their treatment of black characters.
But the overarching message and source of comedy for this show is in the title, which tells us that if you are poor, you should feel shame. This family doesn’t feel shame about their poverty. They are ‘shameless’, some more than others, and comedy ensues from their rude, crude, shocking behaviour and occasional truth-telling observations about society.
EXTRA SECTION 3: WAY BACK EXCEPTIONS
In the 1970s there were many more TV shows featuring regular people: Sanford & Sons (set in a salvage yard); Laverne & Shirley (factory workers); and, in Canada, The Beachcombers (salvage).

There were even some down-market detectives including the very popular Columbo who wore rumpled clothes and drove an old jalopy. Fans loved how rich villains would be caught because of their arrogance and snobbery: they assumed Columbo was a bumbling idiot because of his humble presentation.
The Rockford Files detective (1974-1980) also had a shabby vibe. The main character (Rockford) had done time, lived with his father in an old trailer, and had no office or secretary ––just an answering machine on his cluttered desk. He did, however, have a fast car and was played by James Garner, former star of the popular TV western Maverick.
Rural set TV series were also fairly common.
“Over one-third of shows in 1950 were set in small towns or rural areas, mostly Westerns and comedies.” ––Brookings Institute
The Beverly Hillbillies was popular comedy in the 1960s. It was a rags-to-riches and fish-out-of-water story. However, the show regularly made rich people look ridiculous even though the suddenly oil-rich hillbillies were also comic characters. But they were the heroes of their story. This show got cancelled despite its popularity as advertisers wanted younger urban viewers and not the rural and older viewers that show attracted. (Social Communication in Advertising, 1986)
Other rural set shows were Green Acres (inept rich people try to homestead with comic results), Petticoat Junction (another comedy), The Waltons, and Little House on the Prairie (dramas). There was also 17 seasons (1954-1973) of Lassie (a dog) with farming and wilderness settings.Going waaay back... growing up Canadian in the 1960s and 70s meant watching The Forest Rangers and Adventures in Rainbow Country, both shows featuring child characters who showed off skills such as fishing, wood craft, horseback riding, and wilderness survival.
EXTRA SECTION 4: THE WORLD’S LONGEST RUNNING SOAP
“So I'm a British guy who had an overnight stay in Toronto to connect a flight, and I noticed Corrie is shown in primetime on CBC... I’m just astonished anyone outside of Northern England would give a toss about it.” Reddit comment, 2018
You can’t talk about exceptions to rich-washing without talking about Coronation Street, the world’s longest running soap. Set ‘on the cobbles’ of a small fictional corner of working class Greater Manchester in Northwest England, it began in the 1960s and is still going strong. (Update May 2020- the pandemic has in fact interrupted Corrie.)
Coronation Street has grit, unlike US soaps, which would never have characters working in an underwear factory and organizing actions against management, or working in a fast food shops, barber shops, driving taxi, or grease pits fixing cars. With a few exceptions, most homes on the street look over-stuffed and very lived-in. The real living room of the street is the local pub, a cosy nostalgic setting, and nostalgia is a big part of the show’s popularity.
The street has changed and expanded over the years, but it has changed slowly. Characters who come and go with frequency except for the core characters. This includes several very popular and very elder actors who get substantial storylines. In addition, “Corrie”, as the fans refer to it, is also known for having snarky battle-axe women characters. One of the oldest was Ena Sharples, and one of the newest, Evelyn Plummer. And unlike U.S. entertainment, younger characters don’t all look and sound like glossy over-polished models-slash-actors.
In recent years Corrie has tackled numerous serious social issues such as suicide, homelessness, mental health, addiction, male rape, human trafficking, teen pregnancy, life after jail, and spousal abuse (to name just a few). These storylines are done carefully with advice from experts and advocate groups. They also frequently address classism. However, the show is not all doom and gloom. Coronation Street blends silly comedy, murderous villains, crimes big and small, and many ridiculous eye-rolling storylines. Fans heap an equal amount of complaints as praise. But big picture, Corrie is notable for the fact that it almost never got onto the airwaves at all.
Contrast between a working class UK soap and a US soap

Other Resources:
Books:
Deer-hunting with Jesus by Joe Bageant, who writes about populism in southern rural poor communities in the U.S. (and his hometown) and why they might vote against their own self-interest.
Somebodies and Nobodies by Robert W. Fuller who writes about abuse of power by those who have higher status or rank against those of lower status.
From Movie Lot to Beachhead by Look Magazine (1945) Written at the end of WWII, the publishers wanted to show how Hollywood was not shallow but could rally for a cause and be on the right side of history. A big contrast to today, when it comes to the war on the poor, entertainment is very much on the wrong side of history.
Upside Down by Eduardo Galeano “a crushing satirical expose of the glaring inequalities and injustices of a world turned upside down that many has come to be desensitized as ‘normal.’” (Goodreads review)
The War on Normal People by Andrew Yang (free audiobook on youtube).
The Rebel Sell - Why the culture can’t be jammed by Joseph Heath and Andrew Potter. “But these gains [civil rights, social safety net] have not been achieved by ‘unplugging’ people from the web of illusions that governs their lives. They have been achieved through the laborious process of democratic political action.” (All forms of counterculture end up being just another marketing opportunity).
Amusing Ourselves to Death by Neil Postman “As Huxley marked in Brave New World Revisited, the civil libertarians and rationalists who are ever on the alert to oppose tyranny ‘failed to take into account man's almost infinite appetite for distractions.’ Orwell feared that the truth would be concealed from us. Huxley feared the truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance.”
Websites Classism in Children’s Movies (a study) - Classism.org A Guide to Basic Income FAQs - scottsantens.com/basic-income-faq
Podcasts
Why Pop-Culture Hates Poor People - Cracked.com 2015-03-02 “Movies don’t seem to understand what it’s like to make less than 200K a year…. If you look and live like a poor person, you might be a serial killer.”
5 ways Hollywood tricked you into hating poor people - Cracked.com 2015-02-23
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The author was raised on books & nature and almost no TV and movies but became a telly addict & movie fan late in life.
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How Disney Villains Represent Real Problems in Society: Exploring Emotional Issues
Looking at a side of Disney that I haven’t explored yet, I wanted to consider how messed up the Disney villains are and how their problems can be traced to real issues in society.
In this post, I will primarily be focusing on emotionally abusive relationships, but I will also touch on some personality disorders that some of the villains seem to suffer from.
I also want to bring into question what it means to show powerful villains to children while they are developing their sense of what it means to be right and wrong in the world. We all know that in the real world no person is strictly all good or all evil and I think it’s important to keep that truth in mind when showing these films to our children.
Hans - Prince of Abusive Relationships:

A dude using his charisma to make a woman think he’s interested so that he can use her in some way to benefit himself… TOO REAL! Let’s talk about emotional abuse. He uses classic gaslighting techniques and dishonesty for personal gain throughout the entire film in a way that even persuaded me that he was the good guy. So much so, that this film theory still has me questioning who the true villain is… Assuming Hans wasn’t under a troll spell, he lied about his feelings for Anna, was disingenuous about intentions of taking care of Arendelle, and claimed that Anna was dead in order to get Elsa to give up her own life. That last one has a lot of weight to unpack… Think about how demented you have to be to lie to someone about their closest loved one’s death so that they allow you to kill them in cold blood. That is... really dark manipulation.
Mother Gothel - The Mother of Gaslighting:

Mother Gothel does everything in her power into manipulating Rapunzel into submission of her complete control. She tears Rapunzel down constantly in an attempt to make her feel worthless, including questioning her intelligence and sense of reality. A prime example of this is when she refuses to call the floating lights what they are and insists that they are merely stars. She insults Rapunzel’s looks and ability repeatedly in almost every conversation because she doesn’t want Rapunzel to have the strength to believe in herself enough to escape. Using a passive-aggressive attitude, Mother Gothel intentionally makes Rapunzel think every action and word is for her own good, further influencing Rapunzel to feel like she is incapable of making decisions for herself. Mother Gothel wants Rapunzel to believe that she wouldn’t survive in the world without her assistance and uses exaggerated examples and fear to make Rapunzel feel powerless and dependent. One of her favorite tools is to create situations in which Rapunzel feels guilt for bringing up topics that upset her, using the classic guilt-trip strategy. She even makes bold gestures and uses theatrics to “prove” to Rapunzel how much she cares for her, including boasting about how thoughtful it was that she got Rapunzel’s favorite food and painting herself as a savior for how she protects Rapunzel. You don’t have to be an evil, kidnapping stepmother to use these tools and many people do in all sorts of relationships.
Lady Tremaine - The Queen of Control
Turning Cinderella into a slave after her father’s death is only the beginning of the power hunger that Lady Tremaine abuses her family with. Lady Tremaine doesn’t only emotionally abuse Cinderella but also puts pressure on her daughter’s to maintain the power over Cinderella. She is not only teaching her daughters immoral values, but also preventing them from learning real compassion, empathy, and humility. She micromanages her daughter’s lives, keeping them from independence while forcing Cinderella to live alone under the same roof. Lady Tremaine is the only one with real power in the house and she holds that over all three young girls’ heads at any opportunity. She rewards her daughters for lying and keeps Cinderella from defending herself, raising these women to be submissive for her own benefit. She wants her daughters to provide her with wealth and power so badly that she even threatens them to not disappoint her when it’s time to try the glass shoe on. Everything about her parenting is terribly damaging.
Captain Hook - The Kidnapping Sociopath
This one is a little darker than I want to dive into… but let’s face it, Captain Hook is a kid-napping serial killer. He murders one of his own crew members for singing. When his best friend points out that this murder was uncalled for, he takes no responsibility and deflects the situation by randomly bringing up that his missing hand is also uncalled for… That’s a great example of a complete failure to consider others’ experiences or worth. Right after this, he goes to war against literal children. While many villains use their understanding of the human psyche for manipulation, Captain Hook is completely incapable of understanding that other people have emotions and therefore cannot feel remorse or empathy. This is a true characteristic of sociopaths and is often responsible for apathetic behavior in our society.
Cruella De Vil - Ms. Impulse Control Issues

Once Cruella has set her mind to something, she will do all she can to achieve her goals. This includes being completely selfish with no regard for others, putting herself and others in danger, and breaking the law. She has no respect for others and loves being the center of attention, often barging into homes unannounced. Her identity is wrapped up in her obsession with furs and when she sees unique fur that she wants for herself, she takes it regardless of the likely negative outcome due to her lack of planning. Cruella doesn’t strategically plan the way that most villains do and acts almost entirely on her impulses without thinking through the consequences of her actions. Her short temper is just another example of her inability to control impulsive behavior when the urge strikes.
Maleficent - The Mistress of Evil
So, that is actually how Maleficent describes herself. If she had a business card, it would state “Mistress of Evil” for her job title. My problem with this is that evil often gets put on a pedestal considered as cool and mysterious, turning bad into a positive light. While this can be very fun in storytelling, and I have my own favorite villains that I love to root for (looking at you, Regina in Once Upon a Time!) this isn’t something I want to raise my son to believe. Being evil, selfish, and malicious shouldn’t be a romanticized version of living on the edge, especially in a children’s movie where the main protagonists are bland and outright bad examples themselves. Maleficent is evil and proud with no desire to do good in the world and no consideration for anyone except herself. This sounds like a lonely, sad life to me. My concern is that by idealizing evil characters, we are telling children that they can act on bad impulses and treat others cruelly if they want to be mysterious, misunderstood, and cool instead of encouraging them to always empathize with others in an attempt to be better people.
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conditions
Ah, Asperger Syndrome. Also known as 'Asperger's Syndrome', 'Aspergers', 'AS' and an upcoming favorite, 'High-Functioning Autism'. If you've spent any time on the Internet, you will have run into someone claiming that s/he has this condition and you're now wondering what it really means, or if it means anything at all. Well, we here at TV Tropes aim to fix you up with that info.
Asperger Syndrome was discovered by Austrian pediatrician Hans Asperger in 1944. He noticed that some of the children in his practice were somewhat socially awkward, and began studying them. Since obviously there wasn't a name for it at the time, his official term for them was 'Autistic Psychopaths', though at the time 'psychopath' didn't quite have the negative tone it has today. Indeed, good old Hans had a generally positive view of what he called the "Little Professors" due to their ability to memorize facts, and unlike his colleagues at the time was very positive about what Autistic children, if given a supportive attitude, could achieve.note Values Dissonance: the highly disciplined, militaristic and religious background of people born before World War One and who lived in the Third Reich frowned on "unruly and misbehaving" children and tended to sympathize with those "disciplined and bookish".
As of December 2012, Asperger's Syndrome has been reclassified as part of the Autism spectrum by the American Psychological Association, to mixed response.
Characteristics of Asperger's Syndrome
So what characterizes someone with Asperger Syndrome? Here are some signs to look for (they may have all or a few of these signs and to varying degrees):
Delays in social interaction.
Logical Thinking. To the point that an Aspie can border Cloudcuckoolander territory, they think in a very step-by-step manner, each conclusion a result of the one before. And it all works perfectly, except for when it doesn't, because society as a whole isn't perfectly logical and predictable. We all know the world is crazy, but only an Aspie would think you can make sense of society by categorising every facet of it seperately.An Aspie: "The most irrational thing about society is that it thinks I'M the irrational one."Another Aspie: "I understand, on a logical level, why people behave that way. I just don't see the point of it on a practical one."
Literal Thinking.An Aspie: "If we see the world differently, why should I pretend it is anything other than how I see it? Why should you pretend? Once we know we disagree we can agree on a compromise, rather than lying. Then we can be friends."
Lack of social 'empathy'. Note: This doesn't mean sociopathy. Another biggie, the term "empathy" is misleading, as people with AS do feel and appreciate emotions, but they are unsure of what emotion others are feeling. Extreme literal thinking means they can't see why a person would pretend to feel otherwise than they do, and this difficulty is solved by the only logical course of action - to paste in the emotion of whose emotions they are aware - usually themselves. Thus, if they feel happy, they assume the other person feels happy until they are informed otherwise. Unfortunately, even when knowing how the other is truly feeling, they may not know what response is wanted. And if they want to help, logic dictates they respond with how they would want to be treated, even though it isn't always accurate. This all leads to a very 'Treat others as you would be treated' attitude - not a bad thing, and one factor in why Aspies can be so nice, but not appropriate to every social situation. People with AS may be completely unaware of, or unable to understand and "correctly" follow, social rules that seem utterly self-evident and obvious to everybody else. For example, an AS individual in a romantic relationship may not know that their partner wants them to say "I love you", because they assume that the fact that they love their partner is a given and needn't be said more than once for both people to know it. Another part of the empathy problem is that some people with AS also have trouble showing their emotions. They might not change their facial expression at all. When they come to realise this, they often overcompensate with even more grandiose gestures and obvious statements of how they feel.An Aspie: "And that makes me angry!"Another Aspie: "Ask me an honest question and I'll give you an honest answer. If you don't want an honest answer, let me know and tell me what kind of answer you want." (The basic approach, and a primary difficulty, for many Aspies in romantic relationships.)
Narrowly defined interests. One of their more obvious traits. People with AS tend to build up a lot of knowledge about their interests, which run the gamut of... well, everything. Some people are interested in things that are age-appropriate, some will be interested in things that either are viewed as "too old" or "too young" for them. Some people will be interested in things that many people are interested in, others will find obscure interests. Interests can also change from time to time – some end up defining their lives with a certain interest, while others may change it every other week, but while they are into one thing, be passionately so. Some people have one obsessive hobby and then 'sub-hobbies'. For example, their obsessive hobby is writing, but this is made less obvious by the way that they have in the past obsessed over Transformers, Sonic the Hedgehog and Sylvanian Families, and even add new fandoms to the rotation, and so end up compiling a great deal of trivia and expensive collectibles about ALL these fandoms, but what all the fandoms have in common is that they intensely enjoy writing about them.An Aspie: "I find fire extinguishers fascinating. Thus I assumed you did too. There's no need to be polite; I'd tell you if you were boring me."
Speech issues.An Aspie: "Everybody has an accent except me."
Motion and Motor Control. Associated with AS are various possible satellite traits: Physical clumsiness; tendency to move in repetitive ways, especially when stressed, called "stimming" (think everything from tapping your foot to rocking or flapping your hands); stiff and awkward walk; extreme sensitivity to sensory input (lights, noise, smells, fabrics, information...), social anxiety (not actually AS itself but often found alongside it), anxiety in general, a tendency towards epilepsy, difficulty planning and executing plans, excessive literal thinking, hyperactivity, a strong attachment to routines or familiar objects, and food allergies. Being able to focus to an abnormal level or for an abnormal length of time is common, as is difficulty in multitasking and dividing attention. These may manifest in many different ways and combinations depending on the person.
Gaze Avoidance. Like most people in the autistic spectrum (as well as some social anxiety disorders), there are often troubles maintaining eye contact; it can actually feel uncomfortable or even painful. Because of this, since the non-verbal components of social interaction - body language and facial expressions - are largely learned visually, many with AS tend to have uncoordinated body language themselves (this can often tend to make people feel that they seem "creepy"), as well as an inability to correctly interpret the body language of others, often mistakenly described as a sort of "body language blindness" but more accurately described as a sort of "body language dyslexia" instead. Conversely, those aware that they are not meeting gazes, and becoming concerned that they may seem insincere may focus their gaze on someone for too long in a way that might make the other person feel uncomfortable. Of course, some people with AS do learn body language and emoting by studying actors in TV/film/theater and acting out their emotions. Compensating like this is terribly exhausting, as they're essentially giving a live stage performance any time they're talking to someone, and it can also lead to people sensitive to body language consciously or unconsciously realizing that the "aspie" is acting (as opposed to being natural), which is the sort of thing that in many people would be a danger sign. As a result, the "aspie" can come off as "creepy" even if they've theoretically solved their aforementioned body language problem.
Other stuff.
It's been called a "social skills learning disability", and for good reason: People with AS (often referred to as "Aspies" within their common community)and other sorts of autism have difficulty learning the non-verbal parts of social interaction, whether that's making small talk, dating etiquette, or just looking someone in the eye. Like anyone with a learning disability, people with AS can learn social skills - but it takes them a great deal of time and effort, and may always be difficult to do and imperfect in execution. For those wondering, this is the thing that causes most people on the Internet to self-diagnose, as it's usually the most visible symptom of AS. However, there are many factors to this problem with social interaction.
This includes the fact that for Aspies, the ability to socially interact normally is not merely difficult, like for shy people or people who like telling the truth, think logically or have intense hobbies, but in addition is physically exhausting, like any job involving serious mental strain.
It is also worth noting that many Aspies assert that in many cases the social interaction issues are not that they don't "read" the signals well, but rather that they learn to read multiple non-verbal signals. This includes those the speaker may not be aware they are sending. Much of the error and mental fatigue come from constantly having to pick the intended non-verbal messages amid the many unintended ones. (Consider this much like trying to pick out and accurately attend a single conversation in the middle of an active convention floor from 20 feet away.) It is very difficult, and can often include much misunderstanding or confusion.
Along with logical thinking, nearly every aspect of Asperger Syndrome links back to how strongly this characteristic presents itself. Generally associated with their difficulties with metaphors, sarcasm, and satire. But to pretend the world is other than you see it as, is to the literal-minded Aspie an illogical and irrational course of action. This leads to them speaking their mind with no regard for the opinions of others, which makes them terrible liars. Those who are taught to be 'polite' and keep their thoughts to themselves are still prone to outbursts of emotion which can come as an unpleasant surprise to others and obviously doesn't help in social situations at all.
This is a frequently disputed point. Many Aspies understand sarcasm, metaphor, analogy, and satire very well. Many can also be very adept liars due to their understanding of language and nuance (though lying tends to be rare and is usually for a deliberate and specific reason due to the effect it has on the Aspie's strong conscience). The point of dispute is that while taking things literally and straightforward is the "default mode" for most Aspies, it is by no means the only mode of operation. Furthermore, for many Aspies, the illogical aspect of pretending the world is other than that which it is lies less in the literal and direct thinking and more in that such self-delusion makes little sense to the Aspie mind as a general rule.
There are a lot of issues that can arise with AS speech. Some speak too formally. Some speak in a manner that is too fast or too loud. Others will maintain a monotone, have tics or wildly inflect. Again, it varies from person to person. A desire to be as precise as possible will often lead to Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness, and oblique references and metaphors can lead to Blunt Metaphors Trauma. There may also be some stuttering, which may be countered by speaking louder (helps in debate team), and using extravagant hand/arm gestures to help convey one's meaning, in lieu of appropriate facial expressions.
Many Aspies show the "little professor" aspect described by Hans Asperger in regards to these speech issues through not only often going overly in-depth for the average audience on a given subject, but also in having developed the habit of pre-emptively explaining what they are trying to express (sometimes many times over in the same commentary on the same idea). This habit develops for many because they have become so used to having what they've said misunderstood, or not understood in the first place, that they attempt to clear up any confusion before it becomes an issue... often creating a new issue as people frequently perceive these explanations as insulting or condescending in some manner.
Studies have shown that individuals on the Autistic Spectrum usually have a greater than average sensitivity to/empathy with, and desire to help, when they do notice somebody in pain. Their bluntness and lowered social inhibitions can make it easier for them to step forward to help than people who act 'sensitively' and tactfully ignore somebody's distress.
Asperger's was previously thought to be around four times as common among men as women, but is now believed to have roughly the same rate of frequency. There are several reasons for the apparent discrepancy, including that the obsessions associated with female Asperger's (ex. reading the same book many times) are less obvious than those associated with male Asperger's (ex. learning everything about World War I airplane engines), and many ASD traits (e.g. shyness) are not seen as unusual in women, or as socially crippling. Part of the problem is that most of the data comes from male subjects and thus may bias diagnoses, such that Asperger's is diagnosed more frequently among men.
Physical sensitivity may be either significantly greater or significantly lower than that of a neurotypical, in at least one area. Hypersensitivity is common, often causing the AS subject to be a Picky Eater or have difficulty in wearing certain types of clothes. Hypersensitivity to noise is also common. On the other hand, there are records of AS subjects who have reduced physical sensitivity, or at least show no outward signs of discomfort, including one boy who showed no sign of pain at all prior to diagnosis of a twisted testicle (normally a very painful condition).
Unusual friends. People with AS often have trouble making friends their own age, since the hobbies they developed as children, say for a cartoon show, are not so common among the 30+ age range. They don't always notice if their friends make jokes at their expense (which leads to some people mistakenly assuming that they don't care. If they do notice, the chance is 90% that they will care), or what their background is, or their age, or their political or religious beliefs, or if they have disabilities, just as long as they show some interest in the "aspies's" own field of interest. This is part of what makes those with AS so accepting of others and often results in them being friends with other social outcasts. They also tend to prefer a small, close-knit group of friends as opposed to a wide social network. In some unfortunate cases this can result in them making very poor choices for their friends.
As with many other learning disorders, people with Aspergers often appear less physically mature than others their own age, with a tendency towards rounded faces - which are usually associated with children.
It's not unknown for subjects to compulsively talk to themselves in various different ways.
Because of the gaze avoidance, body language and other social interaction issues (as well as their tendency to take things literally), Aspies can often be Oblivious to Hints.
In interaction with other Aspies, an Aspie will often be able to read them and their behaviour with surprising intuitiveness. They will also usually form tight, interdependent groups of friends with Asperger's.
A lot of people with Aspergers struggle with short-term memory impairment. Thus they appear to be very forgetful or absentminded, and giving them a number of tasks at once can be difficult for them; as soon as you give them one task, the last one pops out of their head. Some also have difficulty with "executive function", i.e. difficulty fully grasping the steps of a process and planning it out.
At times, someone with Aspergers may have a meltdown when confronted with a situation that is unfamiliar or uncomfortable, or when they feel a lack of control. A major meltdown would include crying, extreme mood swings, anger, and severe emotional distress. They may lash out at others and indulge in self-harm, such as hitting themselves in the head. Those who are high functioning can recognize the signs of a meltdown and take steps to prevent or limit their reaction. Trying to reason with someone in the midst of a meltdown is difficult at best, as anything said or done could upset him or her further. The best effort to resolve this is to mitigate harm to them and not cause further distress. Trying to resolve the reasons for the meltdown must wait until it has passed and the person is in a better frame of mind to take in advice to help themselves.
Myths about Asperger's Syndrome
There are a number of common fallacies, misconceptions and outright lies surrounding Asperger's and other autism spectrum disorders. These include:
It doesn't exist. Yes, there are a lot of false diagnoses (and many more false self-diagnoses). If every condition which had those didn't actually exist, we wouldn't need doctors.
Social disability means talent in a particular field. One of the most popular misconceptions on Asperger's Syndrome, made worse by how Hans Asperger himself described these people as "Little Professors". While a persistent obsession with any particular subject that leads to lots of study and practice in that subject may help in getting really good at it, people with AS are otherwise generally no more or less talented in anything than anyone else could become with that much study. How famous geniuses (supposedly) had Asperger's (e.g. Albert Einstein) adds to the problem, and this of course attracts antisocial people to self-diagnose themselves with Asperger's, causing the syndrome as a whole to be associated with...
Self-inflated Insufferable Genius/Asperger's as an excuse for bad behaviour. There's no real connection whatsoever, and may have just been borne out of people over the Internet using Asperger's Syndrome as an excuse to be a jerkass or a Know-Nothing Know-It-All. Part of the reason AS is a popular self-diagnosis is because Asperger's is linked (particularly in pop culture) with Idiot Savant characters who are brilliant but lack social skills. Such individuals are often the first to latch onto postmortem conjectural psychology calling various famous people like Albert Einstein autistic. They arrogantly believe that not only should having AS free them from judgement for being socially inept, but also pin them as genius-tier masters of their field. This is particularly infuriating for people who really do have AS, since as this practice continues they find it harder to explain accidentally offending somebody without being seen as liars, or worse as trying to make an excuse for bad behaviour. Most genuine Aspies don't see Aspergers as a 'Get Out Of Jerk Ass Free' card, just an explanation. If anything, given that the symptoms of Asperger's syndrome tend to lead other children (and sometimes adults) into bullying them, they usually tend to have a lower sense of self-worth. This tends to be confused as a symptom of Asperger's due to the lack of social empathy and the tendency to dominate conversations. While a case could be made that some who have been consistently bullied may consciously develop or become egocentric and cultivate feelings of a superiority complex as a psychological defense mechanism, this does not directly correlate with AS. What might correlate to it is that since people with Asperger’s tend to be experts in their narrow field of interest, they can think of themselves as superior to those who do not possess such skills. Also, some think of their lack of inhibition and sincerity as an advantage over the rest of the population.
Sociopathy. Just because they have difficulty understanding other people's emotional states doesn't mean they don't care. In fact, scientific evidence suggests that autistic people generally have higher than average empathy towards people they notice are in pain. Some people with Asperger's can be the nicest folks you'll ever meet, and either way, they rarely use it as an excuse for plain old Jerk Ass behavior. Quite often, someone with Asperger's may have strong morals and a sense of justice to the point of being a Soapbox Sadie about social justice, animal rights, etcetera, but in a social situation they might be simply absent-minded and forget to pause and think what their friend might be thinking/feeling in a given situation. Thus, you may get a kind-hearted Aspie ranting on about compassion for other human beings for hours but never letting you get a word in, ignoring your schedules and your needs (such as needing food or going to the toilet) and doing everything their way without realising they might be steamrolling you. The difference between a tyrant and an Aspie is that an Aspie just gets so focused and excited they honestly do not realise they're doing this unless they've developed a sense of mindfulness about it or if they aren't called out on it. At which they will be embarrassed and usually apologise profusely. Back in the days before Asperger's Syndrome and autism were known disorders, those who fell into the autism spectrum were often mistaken for sociopaths due to lack of outward emotions/displaying inappropriate emotions (e.g. John Elder Robison was chided for smiling when he heard of the death of another child when in fact he was relieved that it hadn't been him that died). This can obviously create a bit of a problem; humans are easily put off by weird asocial behavior and may think "sociopath" instead of "Aspergers." Basically the two disorders are usually polar opposites in this particular respect. People with Asperger's are generally more compassionate and get distressed by other people's pain, but have problems showing it in a natural manner. Most have a strong conscience. And an inability to tell a convincing lie to save their life is another common trait. The favored popular-culture consummate liar sociopath on the other hand tends to systematically misdirect, manipulate, fake caring mannerisms, etc, without any outward minor twitch/sign that they are doing so, or get intensely sadistic. As in the case of Dexter Morgan in the original book. People with Asperger's do have emotions, but the way they feel/express them are very different than everyone else. It's as if their feelings are running in Linux (or one of its many, many derivatives) while everyone else is running Windows or Mac OS X. Because of this, things get askew during the translation, sometimes funny, other times, horrible (see the John Elder example above.)
No Sense Of Humour.
Lack of Imagination: Related to No Sense Of Humour above, it is frequently reported that Aspies have little to no imagination, but this is verging on Critical Research Failure; there's a (fairly popular) theory that Aspies have excellent imaginations. What they lack (and probably what the reports in question mean by Aspies having no imagination) is Social Imagination; i.e., the ability to grasp that not everybody feels the same way. It requires "imagining" what another person is feeling, since you can't know for certain. To an Aspie, this is logical because you're not them, and it's rooted in their difficulty to recognize emotions in others.
This one's definitely wrong; while an odd or dark sense of humour is common, plenty of people with Asperger's aren't afraid to make jokes about themselves. This one most likely came about because people with Asperger's may simply not get a joke, especially situational ones, and thus not laugh. As noted, many Aspies have an unusually strong sense of compassion for others, and thus may find humor based on random cruelty or characters' gratuitous suffering upsetting rather than amusing. Also, while some Aspies may have difficulties understanding sarcasm, and find irony an even tougher beast, others will not only understand sarcasm and/or irony, but range from occasional Deadpan Snarker to The Snark Knight. It very much depends on the person. Often the sense of humour is very dry, or depends on peculiar word-play only understood by the individual—see the Wikipedia article on Duclod Man for some good examples.
For many Aspies their sense of humor is strongly grounded in word-play. This is often the case because they understand the many ways in which words and phrases can be assembled and perceived. Therefore many can find many otherwise innocent or serious comments amusing or even laughably funny, which can cause more examples of people perceiving them as having inappropriate reactions to various situations. Telling puns, double-entendres, deliberate spoonerisms, and layered verbal humor (multiple meanings) are all sources of great amusement for many Aspies. As mentioned above, a droll sense of humor and amusing remarks made with deadpan delivery so that the listener isn't always sure if a joke was even delivered can also be amusing. Particularly when such comments can be hidden as subtle jests, even delivered in the middle of a gathering of people, with a friend or family member who gets the joke because they understand the Aspie's sense of humor.
What Aspies compensate with is an incredible Visual Imagination. Instead of socialising, an Aspie prefers to sit back and let the movie roll. Instead of having to share the toys in a group, they might imagine getting the toys out and having them coming to life in a way that physically playing with them can't produce. Movies too are a visual medium, and some Aspies like to sit back and play an entire movie in their heads, perhaps imagining themselves in a role. Obviously it's a solo activity.
If an Aspie takes to writing down what they imagine, expect them to paint an amazingly detailed picture of their world and characters as they strive to make their readers see what they see.
Caused by vaccines. Children lucky enough to receive regular vaccinations tend to also be lucky enough to have access to counselors and psychologists who can diagnose autism spectrum disorders. That debunks literally the only 'evidence' for this theory. A lot of the 'evidence' is people confusing correlation with causation, people not considering broadening diagnostic criteria and increased awareness as a possible reason for the apparent increase of autism prevalence, and one thoroughly discredited study that is contradicted by an avalanche of other studies. The case against Caused by vaccines is not that difficult to grasp, yet many people remain convinced it's all caused by jabs, which is leading to some pretty nasty stuff. The idea that the MMR (measles, mumps, and rubella) vaccine causes autism is particularly tragic, as women contracting rubella while pregnant is one of the few known causes of autism, yet that is entirely preventable through inoculation. The guy who did the MMR study, Andrew Wakefield, was struck off the British medical register for ethics violations. Some people still believe he's an honest man punished by Big Pharma for dissenting against them, despite the fact that it's been discovered he was looking for a way to make a vaccine (which he would benefit from selling) for just the measles, that did not include the ingredient he claims was causing autism in the MMR vaccine, and his famous study was financed by a firm of medical malpractice lawyers so make of that what you will. A lot of people on the autistic spectrum are deeply offended by those who suggest that vaccines might cause autism, as their logical and literal manner of thinking concludes that those who choose to not have their children vaccinated would rather the child die of preventable disease than survive while autistic - and that's if the thoroughly disproven claim had any veracity at all (which it does not have).
Caused by _____. While research continues (see below) and some of it is beginning to suggest several very plausible explanations for what causes Asperger's Syndrome, nothing has conclusively been shown to be thecause of every case of it. It's also possible that each genuine case of it has a completely different cause, or a different combination of multiple causes. People with Asperger's syndrome are not only different from other kinds of people, but often from each other as well. Research also continues into whether people have Asperger's Syndrome from birth, develop it at some time later in their early childhood, or both.
Defines one's entire identity/explains all quirks. In fact, Asperger's Syndrome is rarely the only unusual psychological condition individuals have, and being socially awkward may exacerbate other psychological conditions such as Borderline Personality Disorder or Social Anxiety. Aspies also vary as widely in regards to sexuality as anyone else. They are also just as likely to have fetishes as anyone else. Needless to say, having atypical sexual interests as well as neurological functioning can be extremely difficult. Some also suffer from alcoholism and drug addictions. Furthermore, the interaction between these conditions can be quite complex, leaving open questions of cause and effect, and whether one condition causes the other or is merely aggravating it. One should never assume everything about an Aspie necessarily arises from the condition alone. Additionally, just as Autism has a sliding scale of intellectual and physical functionality, Asperger Syndrome has its own socially functional variations - some Aspies just have minor social difficulties to go with their obsessions and tics, while others are almost crippled socially as well as these other symptoms.An Aspie: "That I'm an Aspie means I'm someone with a given condition. I am not the condition itself. It doesn't define my life or identity any more than someone with dyslexia, alcoholism, red hair, or a limp is defined by just that one aspect of their life."
Treatment of Asperger's in Culture and Society
Treatment of AS varies throughout Hollywood. The most common portrayal seems to be that of the awkward "little professor." Other possible portrayals of adults with Asperger's include Matthew from NewsRadio and Reverend Jimfrom Taxi. AS will often be stereotyped, with anyone who has it being shown as a textbook case. AS is unfortunately still in the Hollywood stage where, when a character has it, it will be his defining characteristic or even his full personality. There probably never will be a Hollywood film with a "100 %" accurate depiction of AS - because it really does vary from person to person. There are certain films that attempt to depict how a person with Asperger's Syndrome would go about finding love: Mozart and the Whale is about a male and female Aspie who meet each other, and Adam has an orphaned Aspie young man find himself falling for the new tenant in his apartment. More recently, a 2010 remake of the TV series Parenthood features a child with Asperger's, luckily presented in a stereotypical yet kind portrayal (tics, need for schedule structure, and a particular enhanced/hyperfocused hearing ability).
The severity of Asperger's and autism varies, hence the "autistic spectrum" (some refer to Asperger's as "autism-lite"). Some people are lucky enough to have a mild enough case that, although it affects how they live and interact, they can also deal with society as a whole while others may have severe enough cases that they require close and near-constant supervision and won't interact much at all with anyone. It can be hard to tell: someone's upbringing and education can make a huge difference, and being aware of the condition and how to deal with it often helps a lot.
Note that there is no known prevention or cure for Asperger's; it's neither a disease nor ailment, but a fundamental difference in the way the brain is wired. Treatment only exists in isolating problematic symptoms and making an effort to overcome or work around them. There is a lot of misinformation going around about the nature of Asperger's, often thanks to the above misdiagnoses and the following backlash, and you really should do the research before you end up making the wrong assumptions in front of the genuinely diagnosed.
It is open to debate whether Asperger's is simply a collection of traits that every human being has to some degree or another. It has been said that Asperger's is contagious; their logical thinking and open-voiced approach to telling you what they think makes them good at bringing you around to their point of veiw. The irony here is that AS is characterized by an absence of social empathy and that copying others' behavior unconsciously is socially empathetic.
It's important to note that while Aspies can be very nice, open people, that doesn't mean they're all nice all the time, or that they're naive. They may not have the same empathic connection to the world as you do, but they sure are good at working out how other people think (partly because they had to put so much more effort into working it out in their youth; talent is cheap). It's something of a 50/50 whether an Aspie wishes they weren't, or they may actually look down on Neurotypical people, thinking of them as mindless sheep following the status quo, dishonest and arrogant, or even cruel and insensitive. Try to upset them deliberately and you'll rarely get the reaction you expected, because the two most confusing emotions for Aspies are sorrow and anger. And while it depends on the individual, they may have a very unexpected Berserk Button.
In professional fields, those with Asperger's are sometimes Bunny Ears Lawyers (or The Wonka if they're the one in charge). Some, however, will just come across as either oversensitive or as unpopular Jerkasses. Many of the outward symptoms also share at least some similarities to Japan's Hikikomori especially with regard to socialization; Aspergers has been described as one of the traits according to some Japanese commentators.
A large number of psychologists, mental health groups and people with Asperger's have started referring to people with the condition as "aspies", though some have mixed feelings about the term, even if it does make talking about them much more convenient. There is still a lot unknown about Asperger's Syndrome, as with most mental conditions, and research into the condition continues today. Likewise, the term "Neurotypical" is sometimes used as an in joke by people diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorders to refer to people who aren't diagnosed with one, and some use it as an insult or slur. Allistic is another term used to refer to non-autistic people, as neurotypical or neurodivergent can also refer to people with, say, bipolar disorder or depression. Alternatively, some consider it more polite to refer to someone with Asperger's as someone who has Asperger's. For example, saying "I talked with John who has Asperger's" rather than "I talked to John the Aspie". Putting the person first, before the disorder, is important to many people who either see it as just another trait such as hair or eye color or don't want to define the person by what they see as a disease that he or she has. Of course, like every other issue as to how to treat autistic people, not everyone agrees on this, as some may see it as patronizing. Most of the people who push for people-first language are, in fact, parents, rather than people who actually have Asperger's. Often, people who actually have autism spectrum disorders prefer to be referred to as "an autistic person" or "an autistic" rather than "someone with autism", because their autism is such an integral part of their identity. They know that any negative aspects of it could not be gotten rid of without also getting rid of the positive aspects, such as an amazing memory, or visual thinking.
One more important thing to remember: People with AS are capable of overcoming several of the signs mentioned above and learning the socially acceptable behaviors, just like anyone else, especially with the help of therapy; just because someone with autism starts out lacking understanding of social cues doesn't necessarily mean that they'll never be able to immensely improve it. Speech issues can be corrected with speech therapy, and given time, some can develop a broader range of interests. Therefore, it should never be assumed that someone is not autistic simply because they don't overtly display any signs. It is fairly normal to encounter people with Asperger's who are surface-level indistinguishable from neurotypical people until you spend a great deal of time with them. Or until they come right out and tell you.
Resources for People with Asperger's
If you have Asperger's (or suspect you might), don't fear! Although people with Asperger's have more social challenges than the average person, these challenges can be overcome. Plus, there are a lot of resources out there to help you.
Counseling. If you have not been formally diagnosed with Asperger's, a diagnosis is your first step. See a psychologist who specializes in Asperger's or High Functioning Autism. This is the person who is best qualified to diagnose you and then help you after the diagnosis. If you have been diagnosed but are not currently seeing a counselor, consider signing up for an appointment. Weekly meetings with someone who understands the way you are wired can be an invaluable resource to improving yourself.
Social Skills Guides. Social skills, like any other skill, can be learned. It just takes study and practice. Fortunately, there are lot of resources available to help you study. Here are a few: Succeed Socially, or Improve Your Social Skills (need to pay for some of the content) . You can also check out your local bookstore—many books on conversation, etiquette or relationships will be helpful to you.
Online Communities. You Are Not Alone. Get linked up with other people with Asperger's or other people who are trying to improve their social skills and you will have much more success. Check out the communities at WrongPlanet.net, Aspies Central, Psych Forums Asperger's Forum or /r/SocialSkills.
Support Groups.
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third time because I'm on a role and have a lot to say about this and don't want to sleep:
Viktor has shadow powers while Mel has light powers. like in the cloak and dagger tv show, Viktor can see peoples negative thoughts, fear and despair, while Mel can see their, hopes, aspirations and desires. this makes it really easy for Viktor to help people though their issues and really easy for Mel to figure out how to best manipulate them. when together they can both visit the astral plane and have full emotional sensing, empathy abilities. this can verge into full telepathy and mind control when in agreement for what to do.
Viktor has a shadowy cloud effect, that allows for invisibility, intangibility and minor healing. Mel has her glowing golden shields that burn to the touch and increased durability to physical damage. when in Cloak and Dagger mode they have semi matching outfits, with hoods and full face masks, except Viktor's is a floor length dark blue cloak, and Mel's is a white knee length dress.
Viktor can drain people of their sadness for a on the minor cost of having to experience himself, but it leaves them happy, hollow husks and he has some trouble seeing the problem with this. what do you mean this is bad? I'm taking away their pain.
the empathic abilities really mess with Mel because now she knows her best friend has a crush on her and she has to work really hard to not just manipulate everyone. doesn't always bother. what do you mean this is bad? I'm giving them what they want.
Viktor specifically saves Jayces life by talking him off the ledge by being able to see and understand his despair and the stress he's under being a scholarship student and not having a safety net to fall back on. He felt he couldn't talk to Mel because her life seems so perfect from the outside and Mel didn't know she needed to talk to him because she can only see the positives. hearing about what almost happened from Viktor serves as bit of a wakeup call to make her understand that sometimes what people want aren't always what they need.
when apart from each other for to long, Viktor gets cold to the touch. he starts having trouble breathing. everything aches and moving his leg becomes even more of a challenge. the bags under his eyes become unnaturally prominent, and his skin gets grey and clammy. give it a bit longer and he can barely move, barely breathe, just him and the pain and when that stops he knows it will be over
Mel on the other hand starts running a fever, can't stand still, starts almost glowing. all her senses start getting to much, the noises to loud the textures to intense, the colors sharp, the smells overpowering. give it a bit longer and she can't think, she's blazing like the sun, and she absolutely can not sit still for even a second, just her and the pain and when the stops, well....
thankfully giving each other a brush in the hallway between class twice a day keeps them completely asymptomatic. that said it got really bad the first weekend after they broke into the lab. Viktor passed out in the church and Mel ran straight out of yoga class looking around for him like a maniac. this is also how they found out they can track out other, and thank goodness for that
they are at their best together. this mostly applies to Viktor and his life long physical illness. being with Mel and using their powers together clears him up of all his mundane symptoms as well as stopping the magical ones. Mel doesn't notice much affect at first and even when she finds herself more at peace and less anxious than usual, she just assumes its the change in circumstances. as I said in my first post, for all they are bound, they are not equal
hopefully my next random inspiration windfall will be Signed and Ambessa shaped
Arcane/Cloak and Dagger au
Viktor is Cloak, Mel is Dagger. Viktor is gender weird in the middle of transitioning. him and Sky are childhood friends and are entering extremely weird territory in their relationship. Mel is dating Jayce. Viktor was semi recently adopted as Dr Reveks son, and Dr Revek is working for Ambessa. Mel and Viktor met through their parents and are now in a situation where they have to feed on each other to survive and also stop their parents from hurting more people. they don't like each other very much.
Viktor was homeless for a while and the abandoned church he lived in becomes their meet up place. Kino isn't dead he just went off to college and doesn't get home to visit often. Sky is very uncomfortable with the new beautiful woman Viktor is spending so much time with, no matter how many times Viktor tells her he's just not interested in women because obviously that doesn't make her feel better because she wants him to be at least a bit bisexual so he could be interested in her and if he's not attracted to the most beautiful women she's even seen then clearly she has no chance.
Jayce and Viktor meet like three times and have no relationship. this is crucial. One of these times was Viktor saving Jayces life, so Jayce has a hero worship crush in his hero identity, but Viktor hasn't noticed. Mel think this is extremely funny
unlike in marvel, Viktor's darkforce has limited healing properties to slow down the damage wounds can do and Mel's lightforce does shields rather than daggers. if Viktor is away from Mel for to long he starts becoming more corpse like and if Mel is away from Viktor for to long she essentially starts catching on fire. they have two days tops on their own, but Viktor starts feeling the affects harder because of his pre-existing health issues, so despite the codependency they are not equal. Mel also has the option of going to live with her brother when getting her mother arrested, but Viktor would just go back out on the streets, so they start butting heads on how to deal with the issue. they both want to help people and make the world a better place, but have different views on how to get there, but also literally cannot live without each other.
on top of trying to stop their parents from nebulous evil actions, Viktor plays street hero with Sky as his back up and Mission Control. Mel eventually joins in because if he dies she will shortly follow bt winds up enjoying it despite herself. Sky is the only person who knows their secrets and is being driven into an utter tizzy. Mel is considering looping in Elora, but doesn't want to put her in danger because her family is also in close proximity to nebulous evil actions




Sky, a baby bisexual, looking at the two powerful creatures she's stuck in the middle of :). She plays Evita's role from the tv show
Eventually they end up defeating the big nebulous evil(the black rose in some form probably). Sky gets a portion of both of their powers and her and Viktor somehow get a lot of money and go to a fancy college, and become famous scientists, and help a lot of people with their medical and environment technology work, while Mel decides to become an artist rather than going into law like she always planned, and starts dating Elora, who almost died during the main plot which it made her rethink her priorities, and Elora goes to college with Sky and Viktor, and all four of them live within a couple blocks of each other forever. Sky and Viktor are not together romantically because he is aro-ace, and Sky goes through a lot of different partners, before deciding she's actually married to her work and the concept of science.
Jayce eventually joins Sky and Viktor's research team, rekindles a friendship with Mel, though they never get back together because she's married to Elora, and get the entire plot dumped on his head after a few drinks. He then tries to suffocate himself with a pillow, because he still has a poster of Cloak on his wall, he drew himself after that one time he saved him, and now Viktor is laughing
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Gratitude is for Quitters
Welcome to The Complete Guide to Misery!
Each post in this absurd series will promote a different form of human suffering and encourage readers to adopt self-destructive habits that will bring them mountains of anguish.
This silliness is intended to be satire, not self-help. However, if readers’ lives are enriched in some way beyond laughter, all the better.
Despite the attempts at humor, this is not meant to make light of the suffering of blood-filled people by the world’s myriad forms of abuse.
**
Please assume that you have free will.
Of all the choices you make every day, one of the most important is: where do you focus your attention?
Because how you focus, and on what, make an enormous difference in your quality of life.
Attentional focus is also one of the easiest things to change. Following is an exercise to illustrate the point.
**
Take a moment to think about something to which you’re looking forward.
Maybe you can’t wait to get together with friends you haven’t seen in a while.
Or are eagerly anticipating seeing the leaves change colors.
Or fantasize about your upcoming trip to Cancun. Or is it Cozumel? I can never remember which is which.
And notice what focusing on an enjoyable future does to your mood.
**
Now take a moment and focus on an aggravating or disappointing moment from your past.
You might remember the person who didn’t say, “Thank you” after you held open a door for them.
Or that time when you tripped and dropped an arm load of dishes.
Or when your least favorite cousin gave you a charley horse.
Now how’s your mood?
**
Hopefully you got the point: changing where and on what you focus can alter your internal experience of this moment.
As you go about your day, notice where your attention automatically tends:
Do you concentrate on the past, present or future?
Do you focus your mental energy on yourself or others?
Do you zero in on things you can control or those things you can’t?
Do you revel in tasks and accomplishments or feelings and relationships?
Whatever your tendencies, it’s important to know you have options. You can choose to focus on something different and, in time, it will become as much of an unconscious habit as your current practice.
Optimistic types fool themselves by focusing on a positive future that they can control, while maintaining an awareness of their place in the wider social context, and are alert to the needs of other human beings. They claim it is part of their larger mission of being “happy.”
Is it just me or does that sound exhausting? Planning and thinking ahead, delaying gratification, monitoring progress, being mindful of others, showing empathy, etc.
No, let’s leave all that happiness for the uptight, obsessive types who have too much to prove and don’t have anything else to do with their lives.
Much better to filter out that naïve nonsense and get right to heart of the matter. Because you don’t want to convince yourself that life is going well only to have the universe kick you in the teeth.
Better to disregard the positive and concentrate on the miserable. And that brings us to our first skill: Filtering.
To filter means to discount any evidence contrary to your beliefs. And the beliefs you’ll want to protect are those that maximize misery.
Look for trouble.
Mentally note anything that goes wrong in your life and how miserable every setback makes you.
Overlook the hundred things that go right every day.
Take for granted all the stuff that works in your world.
Remember: Gratitude is for quitters!
Encircle yourself with negative people who can help you notice and remember all the ways the world has treated you horribly.
Or just continue to spend time on social media. Those algorithms will take care of the rest.
In summary, the most effective filter to increase your misery is anything that makes you a victim.
**
CASE STUDY: KEN’S DAY AT THE PARK
Ken got together with friends at a local park one afternoon. On the way there, someone cut him off in traffic. He got to the party without any other problems and made good time doing so.
When he arrived, he was greeted by some buddies, who helped him carry and setup his Foosball table. He played a couple rounds of Cornhole and, like a lot of people, wondered for just a second about the person who named that game.
A new person arrived, was introduced to Ken, and gave him a bland, distracted greeting.
Ken got back to the festivities and crushed a few games of Foosball. He had an amazing dinner of ribs, corn-on-the-cob, baked potatoes, and pie thanks to everyone’s collective contributions.
While he and his buddies sat around their campfire and chatted about this-and-that, the guy with the lousy greeting disagreed with Ken’s point about the negative economic impact of COVID on small businesses. The moment passed, the party continued and Ken left a couple hours later when things were winding down.
The next morning, Ken made his weekly call to his parents. He knew they were looking forward to hearing about his time at the picnic.
He appreciated their interest in his social life, but felt like they didn’t understand him. They’d admitted to him multiple times over the years that they didn’t understand all his misery.
When his parents asked how he enjoyed the picnic, Ken said, “Oh, what a waste of time. First, there was this jerk-face who cut me off on the road. Ohhh, that idiot made me so mad. People like that shouldn’t be allowed to get a license.
“But that’s not even the best part. Next was this new guy who totally ignored my greeting and was about as exciting as a dishrag. Why did some like that even bother coming to a party if they aren’t going to try to have a good time? I hate people like that; they shouldn’t be allowed at parties.
“Oh, and then, and then, the kicker was that this same dishrag thought he was suddenly some kind of expert on economics and attacked me about some stuff I was saying about small businesses. People like that jerk always seem to have something to say. He’s just a know-it-all. Damn, people like that just make me so mad. He should know when to keep his stupid mouth shut. Seriously, I’ve got a subscription to The Economist, for Pete’s sake and I’ve actually read some of the short articles. I mean, I own a copy of Stephen Hawking’s A Brief History of Time and plan to read it one day. What has the dishrag ever done?”
Ken was proud of himself for giving his parents such a complete picture of his day.
**
What We Can Learn from Ken
Ken narrowed his memory of the picnic to the parts he didn’t like and framed himself as the victim each time. He told his parents he was cut off by another driver, ignored upon introduction, and intellectually attacked by a new arrival to his social circle.
Ken didn’t mention, because he didn’t notice it in the first place, what went right, such as the entire drive to the party except the moment he was cut off, freedom to gather with friends, blessing to have people to help with the Foosball table, chance to play Cornhole, opportunity to meet a new person, and joy of sharing a great meal.
Ken demonstrated his expert-level misery skills by repeating how others made him mad. This disavowal of responsibility is one of the sine qua non for a lifetime of misery.
Please note Ken’s relentless consistency. He framed himself as the victim and blamed others for making him mad three times in that short tale.
Remember readers: the key to lasting change is practice, practice, practice!
**
Thanks for reading and stay tuned for the next installment of The Complete Guide to Misery!
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THE COURAGE OF STARTUPS
Scientists don't learn science by doing it. If you're lucky you can get a day job as a waiter doesn't think of himself as a waiter. If someone asks them at a dinner party what a programming language is, they'll say something like Oh, a high-level language? When people walk by the portrait of Ginevra de Benci in the National Gallery, he put a juniper bush behind her head. A investment, at least successful ones, tend to be smart, so the two qualities have come to be associated. The thing to do when you get fouled is not to lose your cool. I think mathematicians also believe this. Leonardo.
Most people think they hate math, but the further you get from the natural sciences without having to learn empathy, and people in these fields tend to be smart, so the two qualities have come to be associated. Other parts you don't understand as well, and more importantly, can't take liberties with. Systematic is the last word I'd use to describe the way good programmers write software. Yes, as you suspect, the college admissions process is largely a charade. There's no switch inside you that magically flips when you turn a certain age or graduate from some institution. Perhaps the most successful countries, in the famous Social Text affair. Whether or not understanding this can help large organizations, it can take half an hour to load into your head. There's something pleasing about a secret project. As day jobs go, it's pretty sweet. Nearly all textbooks are bad. If you own rental property, there are certainly a lot of them. Understanding how someone else sees things doesn't imply that you'll act in his interest; in some situations—in war, for example, a company might require all suppliers to prove they're solvent before submitting bids.
I like debugging: it's the one time that hacking is the applied version of what theoretical computer science is the theory of computation about as much as painters need to understand paint chemistry. A decade from now the players will be hard to tell apart, and there is just not as much demand for things that solve the mundane problems of individual customers. What this always meant in practice was to do what they guess it will, because they're given a fake thing to do, designing beautiful software, would be much more difficult. The first essay of his that I read was so electrifying that I remember exactly where I was at the time. Rich people don't get better design or craftsmanship here. It's hard to create wealth by making a car that weighed only fifty pounds, or folded up to the software with no preparation, and it had better do what they tell you to do. And the project starts small because the idea is small at first; he just has some cool hack he wants to be on this list, he's going to be seeing in the next couple years are going to be at odds with it, because organizations are designed to prevent what programmers strive for. The two words are pulling in opposite directions. A round they want a lot. Painting has prestige now because of great work people did five hundred years ago. It's the same with all of them.
Arguably the people in charge care about design—the former because the designers are in charge, and the paper becomes a proxy for the achievement represented by the software. This doesn't seem to be on this list, he's going to be. You need to know how to calculate time and space complexity and about Turing completeness. So an angel round is not an all or nothing thing like a series A, as long as you're profitable. Hackers can be abrupt even in person. Though in a sense this is historically inaccurate, it is in painting. It made them hate working for the acquirer.
In fact, you don't even get paid a lot. And when I was eight, I was taught in college that one ought to figure out what a subject is really about. Which for founders will result in the perfect combination: funding rounds that close fast, with high valuations. Why do the Japanese make better cars than us? I was in high school: what you want to do with your life. I'm sure they argue, like all founders, but I smelled a major rat. Don't push it too far. Sometimes judging you correctly is the end goal, include court cases, grades in classes, and most VCs weren't interested in investments so small.
Meaning that when the note converts into stock in a liquidity event, founders should start companies that make money and live off the revenues of your company, if they can get DARPA grants. Obviously the world sucked, so why bother? But a company that took 6 years to go public are usually rather stretched, and that it therefore mattered far more which startups you picked than how much you have to do so much besides write software. In fact, if you needed money on the scale only VCs could supply. And so hackers, like painters, and regularly start over from scratch, instead of patiently writing out a complete program and assuring myself it was correct, I tended to just spew out code that was hopelessly broken, and gradually beat it into shape. I made a point of not cultivating it. So just keep playing. Static typing would be a good thing. Most of the people who read the source read it in illicit photocopies of John Lions' book, which though written in 1977 was not allowed to be published until 1996. It's like light from a distant star. So while I admit that hacking doesn't seem as cool in its glory days as it does now.
And they make a lot more complicated than managing rental property, but let's suppose there were management companies that could get acquired quickly, that would explain why they'd care about valuations. They said they didn't want to think about it, because they can't spare the effort to get verified. It doesn't necessarily mean being self-sacrificing. So if you're a little startup, this is just something to put in a lot of the great art of the past is the work of a painter in chronological order, you'll find that each painting builds on things that have been learned in previous ones. Programming languages are interesting to write. As day jobs go, it's pretty sweet. Letting focus groups design your cars for you only wins in the short term, the quality of one's work is only a small component of fame. Eventually, they get to the point that their culture prizes design and craftsmanship. When you signed up, you'd trade your company's stock for shares of this pool, in proportion to an estimate of your company's value that you'd both agreed upon. And when you can do anything if you really try. Since angels generally don't take board seats, they don't have to worry, because this whole phenomenon of VCs doing angel investments is so new.
In fact, when we funded Airbnb, we thought it was too crazy. There will of course be some founders who wouldn't like that idea: the ones who like running their company so much that there's nothing else they'd rather do. And there is no correlation, except possibly a negative one, between people's ability to recognize good design and their confidence that they can walk around the memory of the house you grew up in. For it to surprise me, it must be satisfying expectations I didn't know I had. Fortunately, more and more startups will. If he wants to be on this list, he's going to be. When you're driving a car with a manual transmission on a hill, you have graphs showing rising revenue or traffic month after month, you don't even get paid a lot. So don't assume a subject is to be a no man's land between angels and VCs. You can see that just by looking at them.
#automatically generated text#Markov chains#Paul Graham#Python#Patrick Mooney#investments#lot#math#Social#world#event#past#code#book#funding#hackers#people#painters#round#words#Gallery#problems#valuations#proportion#project#chemistry#sciences#list#VCs#quality
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an entire detail star wars episode IX plot I wrote myself
please read this if the last jedi made you horribly depressed and angry bc i fixed all of it!
also im broke and this took 3 days to write so if you want to donate to my paypal it’s [email protected]
We open with a crawl that reveals that Finn and Poe haven’t seen each other in several months. Poe has been busy working on establishing new leadership in a resistance that parts of no longer trusts him, and Finn has been trying to find out who he is now that he’s out of his coma and in a abusive relationship. Leia has left because she feels she can no longer command the resistance objectively, now that Kylo is in charge of the FO and she shit on Poe like that. The Resistance is more splintered than ever, divided over whether or not Rey WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE PERSON WHO SAVED THEM FROM THE FIRST ORDER is really working with them or not.
(continued below)
Okay, now the movie starts. Because of this distrust, Rey leaves in the middle of the night without telling anyone, prompting Poe and others to question her loyalty to the resistance. Finn sticks up for her, but Rose does not. Poe and Finn have a tenuous reunion with Rose present, and Poe is very suspicious of Rose. He notices something strange about Finn, and confronts him about it privately in a very gay scene where they express concern for each other, and Poe opens up to Finn that he’s never had a chance to heal from Kylo’s torture BUT ALSO now that he feels he was betrayed by General Organa, who slapped and stunned him and objectified him, and who he viewed as a surrogate mother. He also asks Finn about Rose, and Finn finally tells him that since he’s woken up from his coma, he’s felt different. He’s been having strange health problems, feeling dizzy, having lots of anxiety, and being clumsy as a result. He tells Poe that he’s always had a voice in the back of his head telling him to run, but that it’s louder than ever now, and that he feels like anything good he has, he needs to be grateful for and hold on to, because he might not have it soon enough. This includes Rose... Poe asks Finn if he is happy, but they are interrupted an urgent high command meeting.
Ultimately the new Resistance high command (led by Ackbar, my fish boy) decides to send Poe and Finn to find Rey, and leaves the judgement up to them whether she is going to or already has betrayed them. They’ve managed to track the ship Rey used to flee to the planet of Qi Nuur, a planet populated by refugees from the war. Her ship landed on the outskirts of a major city, and the high command expresses concern that Rey may give the coordinates of the city to the FO, or that her being there might make a city full of innocent refugees a target. Rose tries to stop them from leaving by basically implying Finn isn’t competent enough to handle it, (in like an albeist way) but Finn sticks up for himself and they break up. Bye Rose! Finn and Poe and BB8 take the falcon and fly to the planet.
They find Rey’s ship, but not her. Finn is distressed to see she left her lightsaber behind, as well as the kyber crystal necklace she took from Luke’s hut. (She did this off screen in TLJ.) They go to the city to find her and Finn sees again, firsthand, the destruction that the First Order has caused. Finn is completely overwhelmed by the emotion around him and needs to sit down. Poe is compassionate and understanding, and does his best to comfort his friend. He feels guilty, and Poe tries to convince him of his bravery, (because he is freaking brave fight me) but it’s clear that Rose’s distrust of him and degrading remarks have left a mark. Poe goes off on his own to look inside a makeshift Force Temple to see if Rey is there. Finn speaks to several refugees. He asks them if they know any families who have lost children to the stormtrooper program, but they tell him every family who had a child taken into the program was child, so the children would have nothing to go back to.
Finn finds himself distracted by an old building he feels himself pulled towards, which he enters. It is a makeshift library, and the old man who runs it explains that they are trying to save all the knowledge that the FO wants to destroy. When he sees Finn has a lightsaber he assumes Finn is the new jedi he’s heard so much about. Finn tries to tell them he is not. but he’s stunned when the old man tells him that he never had any hope before that anyone could stop the first order, but he has hope again now that this new Jedi will be what is finally needed to restore the balance to the force. He tells Finn that he has spent his entire life as a coward, after his family was killed by the empire during the destruction of Alderaan, but since hearing about this new Jedi, he has become inspired to save this knowledge and fight back against the FO. He gives Finn a book that once belonged to Obi Wan Kenobi. Finn finally breaks down and tells him that he’s “just a stormtrooper who rebelled”. The old man is DELIGHTED by this, and tells Finn that it takes real bravery to fight back against the people who enslaved him his entire life. Finn feels now that the things Poe has been gushing about (his bravery) are not just Poe being nice and friendly. Finn tells the old man that people like him give him hope and are the reason he keeps fighting, and specifically mentions Lor San Tekka and the bravery of the villagers at Tuanul.
Poe finds Finn and tells them that they have to go, that the First Order is coming. Finn asks if they’re running, and Poe tells them hell NO they are stealing a transport ship and evacuating the city. HE’S THE BEST PILOT IN THE GALAXY AFTER ALL. The hype is real, we recapture the magic of the TFA escape scene. They have the Resistance’s full support on this, and the starfighters are going to buy them time to do whatever they need to do. They steal the ship and begin loading it with refugees. They’re almost done when the first FO TIE-silencer piloted by Kylo breaks through. Finn senses this as it happens, and becomes extremely dizzy and distressed, before he can even see the TIE. It’s about to attack when Finn and Poe confess they love each other. They kiss in front of the refugees and the LOVE between an ex-STORMTROOPER and a RESISTANCE FIGHTER becomes a symbol of hope against a fascist authoritarian dictatorship. Finn runs to the falcon like a hero and takes off to fight them, telling Poe he’ll buy them time. Finn is only able to use one-gunner in the Falcon, and so can really just chase the TIE around while taking hits. He takes a bad hit and starts to go down when the force ghost of Han Solo appears to him and tells him the secret to how he made the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs when a parsec is a unit of distance and not time. He tells Finn he cheated and took a shortcut. He instructs Finn to do the same thing and cheat. Finn gives up control of the Falcon and makes it seem like it’s about to crash into the ground. In the LAST SECOND Finn flips the Falcon upside down and launches into light speed only a few meters from the ground. Kylo gets his Silencer destroyed by the ensuing explosion of dirt and rock that kicks up from the ground when Finn did this. It’s great, he’s so mad.
Finn closes his eyes and let’s something guide him, telling him to duck out of lightspeed at the exact time he’s meeting up with Poe’s refugee ship, which is about to dock on Takodana. Poe comms him and tells him he’s “One hell of a pilot!”
They embrace with a hug and a kiss when they land on Takodana, and Maz Kanata is just delighted by this. She tells them that (gay) love is the most powerful weapon they have against the First Order. Also, groups of refugees are pointing at Finn, all excited. Finn is a little paranoid at first, but Poe explains he was literally talking him up the entire time to the entire ship full of refugees, telling the the story of the stormtrooper with empathy who was fighting to save them all. Maz Kanata has been rebuilding their castle using elements from all of the different cultures that are now mixing together on Takodana, which has become a melting pot of misplaced people.
Later that night, Finn and Poe watch all these people happy and interacting because of something they did! They’re the heroes! Poe keeps glancing at Finn, and Finn is confused, because Poe looks confused by him. Like he’s trying to figure something out. However, Finn keeps noticing Maz Kanata staring at him and excuses himself to go talk to her. Finn asks her if he still has the eys of someone who wants to run. She tells him yes, but they’re not running away from something, but towards something. His destiny. Maz tells Finn of a powerful force user, who he assumes to be Rey. Maz tells him this person is more powerful than Rey, so he assumes it is Kylo. She tells him that there is no light side and dark side. She tells Finn that the Dark side, or rather, negative emotions like fear and sadness and even anger, are not bad. She tells Finn that he should be angry, and that he should embrace his anger. Many injustices have been done to him and people like him, and that his anger can be used for good. She tells him of a prophecy from thousands of years ago, that one day a force user will arrive who is truly “grey”. Not tempted by the “light” side or the “dark” side. When he finally asks if this is Rey or Kylo, she says “No. There is another. One more powerful. Who will bring balance to the force.” Finn insists they have to find them, but Maz tells him they must find their way on their own.
That night, Finn dreams about stormtroopers. He hears whispers behind helmets that some of them are discussing if the FO is really doing the right thing. He sees they too struggle with the ideology they have been brainwashed with. He seems some of them who have NEVER been behind it, and have been trapped there, unable to escape. He wakes up with a star and then wakes up Poe (they’re sharing a bed) and asks him if he trusts him. Poe replies of course he does (they also just had sex) and we cut away, implying Finn told Poe something important.
Now the story switches gear. (This is relevant, I promise.) We see one of the stormtroopers Finn was dreaming about. This person is what’s known as a “supertrooper” a very tall , very buff stormtrooper who exists solely to train other stormtroopers. This is a flashback to TFA, right before Finn defects. Finn comes back from Tuanul with blood on his mask and this supertrooper asks Finn what happened, if he’s injured. It’s implied they are friends, or at least familiar. This supertrooper has no clue what the FO is really doing. Finn asks them if they’re ever seen another trooper’s face before. They reply they haven’t. Finn takes off his mask and asks them to do the same. She does. Her designation is KT-2100. Finn tells them what the FO is doing, and the trooper is devastated. (This person is implied to be mentally ill, and also spends every single day of their life being beaten up by other people.) Finn begs them to leave with him, so they can do the right thing, but they refuse, insisting it’s better to remain inside the FO to take it on from the inside. Dissent in the ranks. The rebellion begins, and it begins with Finn.
Now we’re back with Finn and Poe, who are about to dock at Resistance base. The Resistance’s new priority is finding this grey force user and helping stormtroopers escape the FO. The Resistance high command trusts Poe and Finn again because of their brave actions. But Finn is acting very strangely, barely able to stand, shaking and claiming he sees “stars” are Poe’s head. Poe believes it’s PTSD or some other form of anxiety, and tells Finn about his own PTSD, which they discuss (again) because it is important. He gives Finn his mother’s wedding ring and tells him to dangle it in front of him from a chain and spin it around, as this always calms him down. Finn does while Poe is out of the room (Poe is getting Dr. Kalonia), and eventually sees a planet spinning in place of the ring. This is the planet of Ugu En (it’s a Nigeria reference. This planet is important, I swear.) Kalonia comes to take Finn to the medbay, because something is wrong with his heart and he’s having a hard time breathing.
Now Rose is back. She is portrayed as what she would be if she were a real person: an abuser. Poe confronts her and tells her there isn’t a place for people like her in the Resistance. She asks, real angry, “What gives you the authority to kick me out?” and Ackbar comes out of nowhere says, “That’s the new General in Chief of the Resistance.” My boy, General Dameron, in charge of the Resistance.
Poe meets with HIS generals (my boy!!!!) and they come up with a plan of attack during their next battle. They are interrupted with a comm from an outpost on a nearby planet, which claims to be intercepting a comm from someone claiming to be a supertrooper onboard the FO star destroyer The Organizer. Poe puts them through. It’s KT-2100! She tells them she evacuated the command deck by destroying a gas pipeline, and only has a few minutes to transfer information to them before the gas will kill her. One of the other generals is suspicious, but Poe shuts them down. Poe thanks them for their service and accepts the transmission, but filters it though the outpost first -- so the FO can’t trace it back to them. Poe tells KT they are getting the information and they need to evacuate, but they refuse. They insist they need to destroy the communications system after the message is sent, so the FO can’t track down the outpost. KT is starting to cough and is obviously getting weaker. KT asks them if FN-2187 is there, and Poe lies and tells them they are, then has the comms officer patch them through to Finn in medbay. KT tells 87 that wants to do the right thing, to be good and brave like him. She tells Finn about all the countless stormtroopers who are inspired by him. She says,”I’m inspired by the courage I see from those around me.”
Finn is just??? a wreck??? Poe tells her that he goes by Finn now, and asks her if she wants a name. The whole thing is really just sad??? She tells him yes. Poe names her Bey, after his mother, who he tells her was a brave woman who fought back against the FO. The transmission finishes sending, and just in time because stormtroopers (not innocent ones, bad ones who don’t care about killing people) with gas masks enter, about to kill her. Bey, who has spent her ENTIRE life fighting stormtroopers, and is so damn tired, screams something like “I always go easy on you!” and destroys the comms system with a riot baton. Then she beats the shit out of those stormtroopers offscreen.
The new information provided tells them the FO has been building a new weapon, one powered by a matrix of kyber crystals, based on designs from noone other than Galen Erso -- on the planet of Ugu En (see, relevant). This is an extremely precise, long distance beam of pure kyber energy. It doesn’t sound like much, but it can literally slice planets in half like an orange. Think of it as an extremely long lightsaber. The kyber crystals must all be the same size, and since they are impossible to cut or shape, the FO is missing one! They believe Rey has it, but we know the crystal is from Luke’s necklace!
Now we’re back to Finn. He is getting worse, but is still cheerful and optimist about the Resistance now that Poe is in charge. He tells Poe he sees stars around his head, but no one else’s. Finn AFFECTIONATELY calls him “Flyboy” and asks Poe if he can use his last name.This is literally what marriage is in space, and Finn knows it. Finn Dameron, space married to the General in Chief of the Resistance. Finn tries to give him the crystal necklace, but Poe tells him he needs to give it to Rey, when they find her. Finn, now full of inspiration and happiness, feels much better and is ready to go back to Jakku. His heart is still bad, and Kalonia insists on coming with them.
(Guess who’s in exile!!! It’s Rey now.)
Finn knows where Rey is because of a force pulling him towards her, and it leads them right to her. She is back to being a scavenger, living in the same village from the beginning of TFA. Poe still does not trust her 100%, but Finn is over the moon to see her. Rey is lukewarm, and stays suspiciously far away from Finn, and will back up from him if he comes closer.(I will explain this later!) Finn feels this is his fault, and goes back to the Falcon. Poe questions her, but Rey avoids giving him answers, instead revealing she has found Galen Erso’s notes which he hid from the galactic empire. The notes discuss the FO’s crystal matrix and Obi Wan Kenobi and Poe shows her the book the old man gave Finn. The book details this prophecy of a grey jedi, someone who will finally put an end to the mess that the galaxy is in. Rey finally breaks and tells Poe she’s "not the Jedi you’re looking for.” that the prophecy refers to. She tells Poe she must remain in exile in order to maintain the balance of the Force. Poe fears the worse, that’s it’s fucking Kylo, and confronts Rey about betraying Finn for Kylo. Rey explains that the only way to kill Snoke was to trick Kylo into doing it, and that she knows the Force will fix everything eventually. Poe, frustrated and betrayed, is about to leave. He’s getting on the Falcon when Rey tells him to “take care of her father’s ship”. REY SOLO CONFIRMED. Rey looks up into the cockpit of the Falcoln and sees Han’s force ghost standing behind Finn. Han’s ghost tells Finn that Rey is “Everything he’d hoped she’d be” and tells him him he’s so proud of her. He also tells him that he saw stars around Rey’s mother (soulmates). Finn and Poe leave with Galen’s notes and Obi Wan’s book.
Obi Wan’s book reveals that this grey jedi will be born on, you guessed it, Ugu En, the first planet in the galaxy that life sprung from. and that this person will be the first force user in their family. Poe wonders why the Force would chose to put so much power into one person, and Finn tells them that maybe that one person is all the Force needs. They head to survey Ugu En, and Finn is stunned when it’s the same planet from his ring-based vision. A FO patrol spots them, and a chase ensues while Finn panics because of his vision. Kalonia tells him to take it easy, but Finn begins to panic. Poe tries to comfort him, but ultimately, Kalonia has to sedate him so his heart doesn’t give out.
While Finn is out, Kalonia tells Poe that she grew up on a planet with constant lightning storms, and that she remembers the way the electricity would hang in the air just before a strike. She tells Poe that’s how the air feels around Finn, like lightning is about to strike. Poe agrees, and tells her about the Force-sensitive tree he grew up with. He says the air around it buzzed as well, just like it does as well.
Poe then decides to head to Yavin 4, to his families’ ranch. We meet his father, Kes, who is delighted to meet his son’s space husband, the hero of the resistance. Poe tells them about the supertrooper who leaked them information, and how he named her after Shara Bey, and Kes tells him Finn and this woman remind him of a brave man he met once, Bodhi Rook. Kes and Kalonia are old friends, (Kalonia is high lesbian though) and excuse themselves to talk.
Poe takes Finn to the force sensitive tree, now suspicious Finn may be Force sensitive. He asks Finn if he feels anything strange, which Finn replies he doesn’t. Poe asks him if he feels the electricity in the air, and he replies he can’t. It feels normal to him, he says. It feels right. Finn tells him he always feels like this.
Finn touches the tree, and everything clicks.
HE’S THE FORCE USER!!!! The chosen one. My boy, the hero of the resistance, Finn Dameron. He did that!
Poe asks him if he feels anything, and he feels EVERYTHING. Force vision time for my boy!!!! He sees great jedis from years past! Mace Windu! Yoda! Obi Wan! And sith lords! Darth Plagueis and Sidious and Maul! He sees the Knights of Ren, and how all of them have thrown the balance of the Force off so much they compensated by giving Finn enough power to equal them all put together. He sees Rey, crying because she can’t come near him because he’s so powerful with the Force it will overwhelm her. The Force ghost of Luke encourages him to embrace the anger he feels towards the FO. Luke tells him that keeping the Force inside of him is killing him. Luke tells him it’s okay to be angry, and explains he went into exile to hide his anger after his academy was destroyed. He also tells Finn that he wishes he had killed Kylo as a child, and that his refusal to act on what he knew was the only way to save the galaxy has cost so many lives. He begs Finn to be stronger than he was, and not to equate killing for the right reasons to killing for the wrong reasons. He tells that he is the Force and Finn the Force is with him.
Finn comes out of his vision with a clear and focused sense of purpose. He tells Poe he needs to go to Ugu En and fight Kylo and the KOR, to fulfill his destiny and bring balance to the universe. Poe asks Finn if he needs to train first, and Finn reminds him he was top of the class at the academy! Poe is supportive of his grey jedi boyfriend. He comms the high command and they start to come up with a plan.
Now cut to the inside of the FO base on Ugu En. Hux is giving some kind of fascist propaganda speech and it’s a dystopian nightmare. Stormtroopers stand at attention. We pan across an aisle of stormtroopers, each one identical.. and then we see one with a red handprint on their helmet...
All hell breaks loose when sirens go off and the lights cut out. We’ve got stormtroopers shooting FO officers, we’ve got fascists running in fear! Someone burns that giant FO flag to the ground. Stormtroopers rebel en mass! A group of young cadets (children) are cornered by a trooper captain, but out of nowhere comes my main girl! Bey! She kicks some serious ass. And the cadets escape. The FO flag burns and catches everything else on fire. Fascism dies in flames!
Hux runs outside with the other officers, to try and escape -- but here comes the resistance! Led by the Falcon, Poe leads an attack from the air. The Resistance hacks FO comms and announces any troopers who want to surrender need to throw down their weapons, and they’ll be spared. Poe lands the Falcon and Finn and he get off. He knows exactly where Kylo is and he’s coming for that bitch! Poe is there to back his boy up with his blaster! All the stormtroopers are psyched because there’s Finn! The hero! The best guy! Finn and Bey embrace! Friends, reunited at last! Bey is a very important buff butch who picks Finn and Poe up with one arm each and hugs them. Together they go take the FO down!
Big Resistance ships arrive to move the troopers out of danger. Everything is on fire. Hux is hiding like a coward with a blaster among the rubble of his fallen fascist empire! Poe squares off against Hux, giving Finn and Bey time to get to Kylo’s throne room. Poe demonstrates his excellent marksmanship when he shoots Hux in the eye, because I hate him. Bye rat!
Finn and Bey face off against the KOR. Finn uses a lightsaber, Bey a riot baton. Finn is an excellent fighter, top of his class, and Bey has been fighting stormtroopers every day of her life for her entire life. They win.
Now it’s Kylo’s time to die! Finn goes to face him alone. He’s still a little piss baby though, even though he’s in charge now! He taunts Finn, trying to make him angry to move him away from the balance of the Force inside him, and also because Kylo feeds on negative emotions, because he’s a toxic trash pile. What he doesn’t realize is that Finn is just as full of (gay) love as he is angry, and so they balance each other out. Kylo eventually realizes he can’t best Finn at a duel, so he starts using the Force to try and throw him around. But he doesn’t know is that Finn is so powerful that he can redirect any Force energy used on him, so that doesn’t work. He wins and doesn’t hesitate to cut Kylo’s freaking head off. Bye!
Cut to later. Finn and Poe are getting married.The force ghost of Luke and Han are there, proud of their gay sons. Bey is gay and crying and also she has a girlfriend, I don’t care who. I’m crying. I’m gay. Peace is restored to the galaxy.
Thank you for your time please ask me any questions you want I cannot shut up about this.
#star wars#the last jedi#sw negativity#poe dameron#finn#rey is not in this movie#anti reylo#anti kylo
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fuck the Bagel Boss guy: physical abnormalities & dating
hey!
well, here we are. here the fuck we are.
it’s been what? 7 months from the last post? yikes, lewis. nice consistency there buddy.
if you can’t tell by the title, this post is about the Bagel Boss video. if you haven’t seen it, here it is:
https://twitter.com/oliviabradley88/status/1148958211531268099
while we don’t know what triggered this guy’s meltdown, we see the result. for anyone who can’t view the video - a short, middle aged white dude in a polo shirt and shorts is screaming at onlookers in a Bagel Boss (i’m assuming this is some east coast nonsense version of an Einsteins bagels). i will refer to him as the ‘bagel boss’ from here on out.
he yells about how women on dating sites say that men under 5 feet should be dead. “women in general have said that on dating sites! you think i’m making that shit up?!” he yells about how everywhere he goes he gets the same fucking smirk, with the biting lip.
a guy tells him to stop and he says a truly incredible line: “shut your mouth! you’re not god, or my father, or my boss!”
from there, it’s just him cussing back and forth until a dude comes out of nowhere and tackles him lol.
ANYWAY, i wasn’t planning on writing but then i saw this video. this dude has obviously dealt with (i’m being a little lenient here with the use of ‘abnormality,’ but) a physical abnormality for most of his life - being short.
i saw a lot of different takes. some people saying fuck him. some people saying they feel bad for him. some takes in the middle.
as someone who has actually existed, dated, loved, and eaten bagels for 26 years with a considerable physical abnormality / deformity, i felt compelled to chime in.
*spoiler alert* the correct response is: fuck that guy! fuck the bagel boss.
this entire blog was created to shed light on the crazy shit that happens when you’re physically disabled. how people treat you. shit they say to you. how it makes you feel.
i want to tell you why you shouldn’t feel bad for the bagel boss and i’m going to make a case for it.
i’m not a professional writer and i’ve never written on a current topic like this, so bear with me. i’m kind of thinking out loud here. thinking out quiet? thinking out tumblr.
1. yeah dude, it sucks
unfortunately, i do understand, to an extent, where the bagel boss’s rage is coming from. being physically abnormal is, most of the time, trash. some people really do treat you like shit. that stuff digs into you and makes these little perforations of self-doubt that either expand or contract over time. at face value, i get that. i get that he’s probably had people say mean things to him and those things have hurt his feelings and every day he struggles with his confidence and sense of self. at that very basic level, i get it and it does indeed suck.
2. but that’s no fucking excuse
annnnnnnnd enough empathy.
yeah, it does suck. but that’s not a fucking excuse to be a giant (metaphorically giant), scary weirdo. you’re short, homie. ok. next? i know plenty of short dudes. dudes shorter than you who are cool and who generate plenty of sexual interest from women. it’s not your height, my dude, it’s you. turns out not a lot of women dig the, right-on-the-brink-of-a-murder-suicide vibe. your short stature may drive away some prospects, but if this video is any fucking indication, your height is likely your most redeeming quality.
if obtaining sexual desirability is your #1 goal, you might have to make some changes big fella. being physically abnormal may mean you have to try harder. take off that fucking lands end polo, those fucking dickey shorts, and those ugly ass Brooks running shoes. put on some clothes that don’t make you look like a chunky 4th grader on picture day.
if you want to be desired en masse, you’re going to have to care about this surface level, trivial shit. don’t not fucking try and then get mad, dude. if you read this bagel boss, hit me up and i’ll have you looking like lebron on the sidelines of summer league in 48 hours. or i’ll hit up Ian (hitmayng) who actually knows fashion and we’ll get you into some vetements or w/e the fuck kids are wearing now.
3. you hate women
flat out. you hate women. you have taken your self-consciousness, your self-doubt, your self-hate, and transformed it into blind misogyny and a hatred of women.
men love to hate women. it is one of our last true unrequited passions. dudes with physical abnormalities like to use women as the scapegoat for the way ableism and lookism negatively affect their lives.
i have struggled with this myself. when i was a teenager and young adult, i was filled with anger and resentment at the mere idea of women rejecting me for my arm. in reality, i have had girlfriends since i was 14, and women have been overwhelmingly loving and supportive to me in ways i do not come close to deserving. but for some reason, even while dating, i was still filled with that resentment. i was using women as a scapegoat for ableism as a whole, and it took years and years of unlearning to realize what i was doing and to correct it. it’s something i am still actively working on both in practice and through therapy.
women aren’t obligated to like you, bagel boss. they aren’t obligated to overlook your height. they aren’t obligated to love you for you. they aren’t obligated to do shit.
fortunately, in reality, many women wouldn’t give a shit about your height. trust me. i have a physical deformity and am living proof of that. but you’re a massively scary scumbag who’s one burnt bagel away from having a freezer full of missing women’s scarves.
4. i’ve dealt with the same shit, big dog
like this whole post alludes to, i’ve dealt with similar shit. one of my most infamous arm stories, which i haven’t written about but one that many of my friends know, is about the time i went to a party in high school. some girl thought i was cute and started kissing me, but when i took my jacket off and she saw my arm, she started walking in circles around me, pointing at my arm and yelling, “what the fuck WHAT THE FUCK is this a JOKE???”
that one fucking hurt lol. i’ll probably carry some scar tissue from that to the grave.
but you know what, even after that (and a number of similar incidents) am i in a fucking wendys reading out a manifesto on how i hate all women and all 2 armed men? no tf i am not, bagel boss.
5. get over yourself and get help
in conclusion, stop it. ableism sucks. lookism sucks. but you are caught in a homegrown disease. the call is coming from inside the house. i hope you go to therapy, but i doubt you will. i hope you realize women aren’t your enemy, nor the problem. i hope you understand that with enough cognitive behavioral change, you could find a woman who likes you, who thinks you’re handsome, who really appreciates everything you are. but you won’t make those changes. and so you’ll never feel that love. and that’s fair.
i’ve had women scoff at me. i’ve had men scoff at me. but i’m still out here growing, loving, being loved, and all that other corny shit. i’m still busting rich san francisco teenager’s asses at basketball twice a week with 1.5 arms.
you could be liked, be dated, and be loved, too. but you never will be.
and it’s not because of your height.
sincerely,
a dude with a probably harder to deal with physical abnormality lol
i’ll get your rebounds for 10 min while you get shots up if you read this far
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OH! HAVE YOU HAD SEX ?
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HOW I REED THIS SCENE ... ON THE BASIS OF SYMBOLISM AND ....... MIRRORISM :)

EURUS: Play for me. SHERLOCK: I need to know how you got out of here. EURUS): You know already. Look at me. Look and play. EURUS: No, not Bach; you clearly don’t understand it. Play you. SHERLOCK: Me? EURUS: You. (Hesitating for a long moment, Sherlock then lifts the bow and begins to play Irene’s lament.) EURUS: Oh! Have you had sex? SHERLOCK: Why do you ask? EURUS: The music. I’ve had sex. SHERLOCK: How? EURUS: One of the nurses got careless. I liked it. Messy, though. People are so breakable. SHERLOCK: I take it he didn’t consent. EURUS: He? SHERLOCK: She? EURUS: Afraid I didn’t notice in the heat of the moment and afterwards ... well, you couldn’t really tell. Is that vibrato or is your hand shaking?

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((As mentioned in previous posts I think that Sherlock is solving problems and running experiments by creating role plays on a 'Mind-Stage' (x x x). Casting different characters - real and fictional ones - to fill in for known or unknown factors of the cases he is trying to solve. I suspect ....
Mary to serve as an avatar for Sherlock himself ( x x ) - for a process of personal growth over a certain period of time
Irene to be a symbol for his sexuality (x x)
Eurus a symbol for Sherlock's rational mind, pure logic and reason
John seems to be his lead actor where emotions and empathy are involved
Jim covers the part of Sherlock's dark side (x ))
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Sherlock begins to play Irene’s lament EURUS: Oh! Have you had sex?
'A Scandal in Belgravia' is the episode where Sherlock is heavily confronted with sexuality. Irene is a very strong mirror of himself, therefore I think she symbolizes not only his own sexuality but also what Sherlock thinks sexuality might be like, how sexuality can be used, the pros and cons ... or where it might lead him to ... in case he allows himself to get involved. Is Sherlock investigating, deducing and probably experimenting on sexuality? Why not? But if Sherlock indeed contemplated or had sex with Irene - his own sexuality - then he simply had sex with .... hmself.

EURUS: The music. I’ve had sex. EURUS: One of the nurses got careless. I liked it. Messy, though.
The sound of Irene's theme reminds Eurus - Sherlock's rational mind - that she once had sex. With a nurse ... a careless one. As mentioned above I believe Mary to be an avatar for Sherlock himself. Mary is a nurse. That's one of the many similarities she shares with Sherlock. Remember this dialog from TSOT:
JOHN: Nurse, press here – hard. SHERLOCK: “Nurse”? JOHN: Yeah, I’m making do.
Did Sherlock become a bit careless because of all the .... damn emotions stirring unintentionally deep inside him since he made the acquaintance of a certain army doctor? Did Sherlock indulge in some messy but overall likable experimenting .... with himself?

EURUS: People are so breakable. SHERLOCK: I take it he didn’t consent. EURUS: He? SHERLOCK: She? EURUS: Afraid I didn’t notice in the heat of the moment and afterwards ... well, you couldn’t really tell.
Even if the practical part was messy but likable ... it seems that the final outcome of Sherlock's experiment has been a negative one after all. Trained since childhood to stay away from everything involving emotions, an unexpected sexual experience might have been a bit overwhelming. Maybe Sherlock hadn't even intended to go through the 'whole thing' but - from a certain point onward - he got carried away by his own body? And afterwards? Started his rational mind (Eurus) dissecting and breaking down what he just experienced? Dividing and splitting and cutting up the whole thing until nothing was left but a simple list of chemical elements. A bunch of neurochamicals and nothing else? Neither sex nor love recognizable anymore? Just the uneasy feeling of vulnerability and disadvantage ... of exposing oneself to unknown dangers? And the question - male or female - might not have been a primary one if Sherlock experimented with his own sexuality .... with his own body.


Remember what Sherlock tells Irene in ASIB:
SHERLOCK: ... Sentiment is a chemical defect found in the losing side.
SHERLOCK: I imagine John Watson thinks love’s a mystery to me but the chemistry is incredibly simple, and very destructive.
SHERLOCK: This is your heart ... and you should never let it rule your head.
SHERLOCK: I’ve always assumed that love is a dangerous disadvantage ... Thank you for the final proof
And Sherlock hands over Irene and her phone into Mycroft's power - meaning - Sherlock returns to the viewpoint of his brother and continues to trust and believe in the lessons he has been taught since childhood. 'All lives end, all hearts are broken. Caring is not an advantage' and 'Don't get involved'. Somehow Irene ends up in the desert and in mortal danger. Mycroft believes her to be dead. Mycroft thinks he had been thorough this time - and that statement can easily go in both directions:
thorough in checking the idintity of a dead body or
thorough in ensuring there is a dead body
BUT IRENE DOESN'T DIE IN THE DESERT
Because when she is bound to be beheaded and killed for good Sherlock appears out of nowhere and rescues her in the very last second. And in the most dramatic and romantic way possible .... wielding a scimitar like a hero out of 'A Thousand and One Arabian Nights'! Ah, he really loves to be dramatic! And that would be one of the things Mycroft doesn't know about - that Sherlock's sexuality is not dead.

How very telling when Irene's text alert starts 'sighing' again just when John is about to leave 221b at the end of 'The Lying Detective'. If this is a scene Sherock designed for his Mind-Stage, then he is the author of John's dialog as well:
JOHN: You bloody moron! She’s out there ... she likes you, and she’s alive. ... and do you have the first idea how lucky you are? JOHN: Just text her back. SHERLOCK: As I think I have explained to you many times before, romantic entanglement, while fulfilling for other people ... JOHN: ... would complete you as a human being. JOHN: Just text her. Phone her. Do something while there’s still a chance, because that chance doesn’t last forever. Trust me, Sherlock: it’s gone before you know it. Before you know it.
In other words - this is Sherlock considering the possibility that John might indeed be interested in having sex with him. That sex could complete him as a human being. That he should act on it before it is too late.
And then in 'The Final Problem' almost the very first topic Eurus - Sherlock's 'rational mind' - contemplates on is sexuality. Again. Sherlock's own sexuality. All the tasks and experiments his own mind (Eurus) sets up for Sherlock, culminate in one important conclusion:
Sherlock needs to land the plane of his isolation. Bring it back to earth without crushing it. Only then he is able to rescue and resurect his abandoned and neglected emotions, his empathy ... buried deep down in a dark well and left to drown a very long time ago.
And then? With Sherlock's old self (Mary) gone, his mind and heart (Eurus & John) playing together in perfect harmony, the budding love (Rosie) steadily growing and lovingly nurtured, Sherlocks not quite murdered sexuality (Irene) drawing attention to herself again .... and probably his dark side (Jim) not entirely gone - it will be a matter of balance to achieve the perfect equilibrium.
Thankfully John Watson - the doctor, the soldier, Sherlock's conductor of light - knows exatly what to do .... or at least, Sherlock thniks so. :)
We’re going to need to coordinate

@callie-ariane thank you so much for your wonderful scripts
@gosherlocked @isitandwonder @loveismyrevolution @tjlcisthenewsexy @longsnowsmoon5 @sarahthecoat @monikakrasnorada @shylockgnomes @justshadethings @yan-yae @marchinaugusta @green-violin-bow
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Christmas Carol Parody
Ok so here’s a little story parody of a Christmas carol i wrote with my oc’s for fun it wasn’t read by a friend so I’m sorry if my grammar’s bad I tried anyways if you want to give constructive criticism go ahead it’s greatly appreciated IDK about posting full stories to this site so if you have anything to say about that uhh go ahead anyways I hope you can find some enjoyment out of this. also sorry the endings a bit rushed I wasn’t sure what to do with it.
“Merry Christmas!” shouted the carollers outside, after a double take the carollers appeared to be Ricin’s classmates from his drama class, this only served to make his mood even worse “Bah Humbug” Ricin said realizing just how obvious of a quote that was, *KNOCK KNOCK* they must be here to spread ‘Christmas cheer’ ,Ricin was sure one of his siblings would answer, the door knocked again wanting them to leave but not have to talk to them the hybrid called for one of his siblings “Cyanide, Botox, Arsenic, Mercury!” none replied a third knock “damn it” Ricin gritted his teeth as he opened the door almost immediately started to sing “we wish you a merry Christmas we wish….” the lyrics annoying him more and more “ FUCK OFF!” Ricin shouted as he slammed the door in his classmates faces returning to his room with the coke he had grabbed “this was not worth having to hear those assholes” looking out his window he saw they were still there, “great”.
“You ok Nyx?” Courage asked pulling out a spare handkerchief from his vest pocket “yeah yeah I’m fine...huh guess stopping here was a dumb idea” Nyx replied and the group just shrugged, Ricin scoffed at them “Chaos’ fault for getting their face to close to the door...what idiots” Ricin decided to just try and enjoy his drink.
Hours later Ricin was getting ready for bed switching his day clothes for PJ’s, as he put on a pair of pyjamas with nuclear symbols on them on he heard an odd noise followed by the sight of his usual poison apple tee floating in the air a voice booming “ok you scrooge you know how this game works you’ll be visited by 3 spirits to try and make you less of an asshole” Ricin only reacted with confusion “what?” he asked the spirit in confusion “well judging by the look of your room you’re a theater kind so I thought you knew how this whole christmas carol thing goes, or are you just that much of a scrooge?” the spirit asked back, Ricin blinked twice before replying “well in the actual story isn’t it usually someone the scrooge knows that warns them?” “oh yeah no not when it’s these spirits...yeah sorry you’ve got the back ups” the spirit explained “ok seriously heed my warning though” and with that, the stranger left.
Ricin while taking this seriously knew the story well enough to know he can still get some sleep...or at least that’s what he thought “greetings lil’ toxin time to see your past” the face of confusion and shock wasn’t what this new spirit had been expecting, “hmm oh I’m Jack Holidayz now seeing as this is a pretty old story” Holidayz that name was so familiar but Ricin couldn’t put his finger on why not that he had time to figure out why before being dragged out his window and affected by some sort. “Welcome to your childhood are you ready to see why you hate this holiday so much” before Ricin could even reply “oh wait I almost forgot” with a boop to the nose Ricin was changed into an animal form looking like a bird snake same as him though something seeming off most likely due to his phantom heritage. In the window of Ricin’s old house was a young him, his mom was gone as per usual, no dad, his siblings that aren’t out fighting, and there was him a scowl on his face just wanting this damn holiday to end. A silence grew between Ricin and Jack “is this how it always was? Lonely with fights?” Ricin turned his head and nodded “ok i’m not supposed to show you others past but I’ll make an exception” Ricin once again confused opened his mouth to question the spirit but before he could he got his answer “I think seeing some others past so you can see how they reacted different to their negative experiences, maybe that can help you rethink this” and they were off again. “Welcome to Courage's past” Ricin had to do a double take “that mutt from my class, the one that always hangs with that weird hybrid Xzim?” ‘mhm’ hummed Jack, looking in the window Ricin saw the scruffy mutt looking surprisingly less scruffy then he did at current day, Courage looked at the tree curled up covered in blankets on a pillow fort, “his dad’s always extremely busy on Christmas to this day this is how most of his Christmas’ look like...it’s an improvement from before his adoption sure but it’s hard to get much worse than no holidays and being thrown against a wall” Jack was taking very bluntly and his tone reflected that but the look in his eyes showed sorrow and empathy for the mutt ‘ahem’”next up” stopping at another house in the trailer park the two looked into the window again “you know Lucy from your theater class” Ricin nodded “this is her cousin she’s in one of the local street gangs I think” that last bit surprised Ricin who’s eyes widened “oh that has nothing to do with this I’m just saying, anyways you see she did have a decent Christmas probably the best out of the few I’m showing you” Ricin noticed that the girls mom didn’t appear to be anywhere “her mom’s neglectful but that’s for the best in this situation since her moms also homophobic ,not the best situation for a lesbian, however she also wasn’t aloud to see her other family” Ricin became increasingly more concerned but before he could ask he was whisked away to the last stop. “And here we have Frankies” Ricin immediately noticed that they weren’t in Arcania anymore this neighbourhood was to white even for December all the houses looked the same white and light blue, Ricin be lying if he said it didn’t creep him out at least a little, moving his head back to the window he saw Frankie much younger and with what looked like a buzz cut and a scowl across their face, they were almost unrecognizable from the long haired happy green mamba Ricin had seen at the school, at first Ricin couldn’t tell what was so off but then Jack simply said “Their parents are christian extremist, a non-binary bisexual with some sort of mental health you can see the problem” it was then Ricin took notice of the crosses located every where and who he assumed was Frankie’s father reading the holy bible, he knows not all christians are that bad but the use of the word extremist gave him an immediate understanding of why.
“so that’s why they runaway” Ricin whispered under his breath, everyone knew Frankie was a runaway so was Addison but know one really knew why other than their friends.
Ricin turned to see himself in front of Nyx’s mansion with a new spirit in front of him, the spirit ran up to him and grabbed his had jumping up and down as she shook it and him “I’m Candy Holidayz ,are you ready to see how those three are treating this Christmas despite those” Ricin face said it all, Candy pulled him up to his feet which cause him to realize he had returned to his normal form, no time to figure that out though looking in he saw the three along with Nyx, Gene, and a student he recognized as she often spent time with Lucy’s cousin but he didn’t know her name, and last was Addi the other runaway, the teens were joyfully singing Christmas songs, the two sat quietly until the song was over “So who else is ready for Black Christmas, Krampus, and candy cane cult” Nyx asked to cheers from their friends “Why are they watching horror movies and some cheesy slasher from the eighties?” Ricin questioned “Everyone has their way of celebrating not all of them even celebrate Christmas but they’re all having fun and making the best of the situation sure not everyone can do that but if you have the option to then go for it” Ricin went quite in thought, it took him a minute to realize he was at Taylor’s house looking in he saw the sporty gator his best friend having tons of fun, he thought about how she had invited him to hangout so he wouldn’t be alone this Christmas and how he had gotten her a gift but in the end decided against it. “Do you have anything to say?” he questioned the spirit...no response.
Rather suddenly he saw he was back in his room but something seemed off he looked and saw the picture of him and Taylor at a sports game of some sort Taylor had insisted he joined her to go to wasn’t there nor was any proof of their friendship, “Shit” Ricin said under his breath “Is this what’ll happen if I don’t improve?” ‘Yep” a familiar voice said, Ricin turned around to see the third spirit “ASH?!” Ricin yelled in bewilderment, “you’re the I guess spirit of Christmas future” “Yeah? Who did you expect?” seeing Ricin’s face Ash continued a bit more annoyed ”I’ve mentioned multiple times in class my parents are the spirits of Halloween and Christmas and the last name Holidayz should have been a dead giveaway” Ricin felt rather dumb now for not realizing that sooner “So if I don’t improve I won’t have a friend anymore” the thought of losing his only friend almost physically hurt, “Yes, though admittedly my siblings and I may not have been who you needed to see, you don’t have much reason to hate the holiday but you already hate everyone and act like an ass” Ricin looked as if he was about to punch Ash in the face” ...ok my point is our visit was to tell you you need to be more positive I understand not everyone can but you have an opportunity like my sister told you earlier so go take it” Ricin in a rare moment took this to heart “Thank you” “Now before I leave” Ash’s smile became creepy and sinister as they grabbed Ricin and threw him out the window, falling head first.
Ricin woke up screaming, funny he didn’t remember falling asleep regardless he called Taylor and asked if he could hangout or if have a sleepover.
“Wait so why did we do that?” Ash asked their siblings, the two stared at each other before shrugging “Well” standing up Ash yelled “MERRY CHRISTMAS”.
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Blog No. 4
Welcome back! Once again, you’ve made it to the blog of a conflicted soul.
One of the most potent and deeply personal relationship climates in my life exists between my father and I. For decades worth of reasons, some even kept so close that I wouldn’t plan to share them here, my dad is one of the one of the most emotionally impactful people I know. As for many people, some having lived with their fathers longer than almost anyone else, I mean “emotionally impactful” to say he has the ability to change or impact my mood significantly more than anyone else– on a dime. Whether due to non-verbal cues that may remind me of past interactions, tones of voice that might remind me of specific conversations through the years, or simply from raising certain topics: many conversations I have with my father are underlined by an emotional context that could turn a talk about the dishes or a new TV into heart-racing, testy exchange. Specifically, there were at least two moments this week when brief chats about dishes and a 4K TV (separate topics and different issues) evolved in an instant from bearing little emotional significance to leaving me with head-pounding frustration and feelings of exasperation. In addition to exploring important background about our relationship, these two moments are what I’ll reflect on in this week’s blog.
Overall, outside of moments of buildup, my father and I have a positive, goofy, loving and mutually supportive relationship. These days, most conversations and interactions between my father and I are brief– we’ve lived together my whole life, but our mismatched schedules don’t allow for too many long conversations lately– but they’re full of light-hearted humor, calm checking-in about life and news, and silly banter. Especially when my girlfriend, Malorie, is staying over and hanging around with my dad and I, we rarely have very serious conversations because there’s just so much fun to have. All three of us have very similar senses of humor, are great at picking up on tiny non-verbal cues, can quickly channel empathy if we bring up a hard day at work, and we love making punny jokes about anything we’re talking about. My dad is also constantly ready to help me when I need it, whether he generously makes espresso for me in the morning if I’m going to be running late, asks to read over stressfully-composed writing of mine so he can provide critical feedback, or offers to help with relationship worries. We both behave in ways that are largely absent of conflict, but that’s partly because we agree on topics that many family members might disagree about. Most of the serious subjects my parents and I talk about usually involve team problem solving, and so can’t always be brought up during the small chunks of free time we might have during the week. So, my mom and dad generally manage to schedule out times for us to talk about big-life topics like finances and college, topics that I have strong feelings about, and offer enough heads up that I can gather my thoughts and feelings ahead of time. Scheduling out times to get on the same page about significant areas has minimized stressful emotions during those conversations, and because we’ve made progress in those moments, it’s allowed us to pretty rarely stumble into conflicts with potential to expand into escalatory spirals.
Unsurprisingly though, because it’s not impossible to plan ahead and be one-hundred percent mindful during every single interaction we have, conflict still finds ways to work itself into our close relationship. For my dad and I, the worst conflicts that arise in the moment seem to always be ones when we “miss each other” during the conversation, as we call it. While I’d be hard pressed to concisely describe an example of this conflict ritual, as most of the worst-escalated ones happened a long time ago and we’ve learned from them, “missing each other” is when my father and I are arguing about something we agree about overall, but keep coming at each other with strong words and feelings because we’ve failed to communicate that underlying agreement properly. In those scenarios, my dad would usually bring up some life topic that I have strong feelings about, unsuccessfully try to communicate that he understands where I’m coming from, because of that miscommunication I feel like he’s criticizing my perspective, I would then react to that by feeling defensive, inaccurately articulate what I assume his intent it, he would react defensively, and then we would circle around and around until we could chill out enough to realize, “oh wait, we do actually totally understand each other after all?” Luckily, these “missing each other” situations have happened less and less as we’ve matured in our relationship together, and in most moments we are both mindful enough to nip escalating conflicts in the bud. However, while the bigger buildups are pretty rare these days, I realize that we have quite a lot of work to do if I plan on addressing the smaller episodes of conflict– the episodes that are undesirable just because they feel bad, even if they wouldn’t impact anything very negatively in the short term.
That leads me, finally, to the incidents about the dishes and the 4K TV from this week. Regarding the dish situation, which happened Monday last week: I had been at home working on my last blog all day, my girlfriend keeping me company, and we’d been cooking for ourselves on an off as to avoid ordering out for food. I had been keeping up on dishes the entire day, highly aware that my dad gets frustrated when their not done when he gets home, but was on a roll writing my blog after our last meal. Of course, I chose my homework over dishes so I could finish the dishes once I was done. But then he got home, while I was upstairs working, and he did the dishes and cleaned up the space without telling me. Regardless of the nice gesture of doing the dishes for us, as it meant I couldn’t complete the task for myself, when I came downstairs and he confronted me about them not being done, I immediately became frustrated. No less, I was frantically rushing back upstairs to try and finish my blog that still wasn’t done yet. I unconsciously picked up commonalities to similar times where he’d talked at me about the dishes, especially because I really don’t have the patience to stop and talk when I’m writing, and so felt the same frustration in this situation as the other. Thus, I reacted accordingly before I could stop myself. I didn’t even respond out loud in any corrosive fashion, but once the interaction was over, I knew that my tone of voice and non-verbal reactions conveyed that I was uncomfortable and bothered. No less, my heart started racing after the conversation was over, and I felt distracted and angry, when only moments ago I had been happy and joking around. Very similar to the dishes scenario, hours after I moved my girlfriend’s fancy 4K TV into my room without thinking to ask my dad, my dad kept me downstairs (while my girlfriend was upstairs waiting for me) to talk and share that he was unhappy I hadn’t asked his permission to “move around furniture”. In that moment, because I had recently experienced him holding me up to share his critical thoughts, I was pretty unreceptive to his concerns. More specifically, I wasn’t inclined to sit and listen to complaints that I didn’t see as valid while we were both aware he was making Malorie wait upstairs for me. Whether that was his goal or not, or whether I’d be receptive to his concerns in any event, our recent communication climate and conflict rituals made it very hard for us to communicate effectively there. While, in my father’s defense, he brought up the subjects of un-done dishes and the surprise appearance of a new TV in the only moments he could find for us to talk, it made me very conscious of how much our context affects how we perceive conflict and how we react to it. I can only hope that the next time I feel like I’m too rushed to address his concerns, I can use my awareness to consciously slow us down and actually address the problems in the moment. I hate having to feel angry when I know it’s not how I. really feel. We shall see...
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