#but the sentiment of being international stands so close enough

[amphiptere]

I did genuinely think USC was fictional like Palmetto is

[sukunas-wife]

I'm in desperate need of sukuna just catering to his pregnant wife. Like he's being too careful, caring and overall really really cautious around her. I just need some sweet stuff between the two. Idk how it'll happen but it must, and I think you'll be the perfect person for it♡♡♡ i love your work sm istg i could just smoosh u into a big hug, reading your posts just makes me all giddy and melt. thank you in advance!!!

Stop Ilysm 🥺🤍 imma do my best 🥹

In no way was Ryomen Sukuna a domestic man, much less a man who would show mercy or an ounce of emotion. Yet here he stood, both sets of arms crossed over his chest hard stare following your waddle around the garden, his face was void of emotions but internal something was ignited. Subconsciously, his body led him to find you almost always when he would wander about aimlessly in thought. Here he was, standing on the engawa. His eyes ran over your body, the small swell in your tummy was a pain in his ass but there wasn’t a thing he wouldn’t do to ensure your safety and his child’s. He was lucky you hadn’t noticed him or you’d probably demand something from him and there he would have to go to please you.

The cold rush of air on his skin didn't bother him, but he saw how you shivered, tucking your hands into the sleeves of your robes resting them on your swollen belly. You were persistent and stubborn it didn't surprise when the second rush of wind came and you side eyed the empty air as if threatening a being. You sighed continuing your walk in the garden, fingers grazing the flowers of the garden. The garden you had begged him to make because it had been your dream to have a lavish royal garden of your own. He remembers the first time he allowed you out of his sight, he found you sitting on a stone bench under the shade of a blooming sakura tree, you must’ve felt like one of those silly little princesses with how you slowly lifted your hand to catch falling blooms.

You felt the shift in the air but weren’t bothered to turn around and greet him, you were busy on your little adventure. You were looking for the perfect place, you kept walking until you came to a decent open space, in the centre was a ring of bushes. Staring at the space you started to space out thinking only pulled back to reality by your husband when he draped his Haori over your shoulders. He stood behind you, a pair of arms around you carefully tying it closed. His scent and warmth lingered over your skin when he stepped away, you looked back over your shoulder and up at him. He was looking past you at the bushes you were staring at, one of his left hands rested on your left shoulder. He brought a right hand up to his face, squeezing his cheek bones and running his hand down his face like he was thinking, “what have you decided?” You hummed, “A plum tree right there, as our child grows so will the tree, when he’s old enough to eat fruit it’ll start to bloom.” Sukuna didn’t understand the sentiment behind having your child grow up with his or her own tree. In the end one of them would die and they would have to part ways. “Uraume” “Yes Lord Sukuna.” It was an unspoken command. It was one of many he’d be giving for the next few months.

——————-

“…su?” Your voice was lost in the dark before you tried to sit up whispering, “..sukuna.. kuna… suuuu.” You laid a hand on your husband's chest rubbing circles, he took a slow deep breath opening his eyes to look at you. “Yes y/n?” Your hand trailed to his lower shoulder trailing down his arm and taking his hand holding it in your lap between both of your smaller hands in comparison. “I..I’m hungry..” he was looking at you with soft lidded eyes. His lower set of eyes opened when he sat up the arm he had wrapped around you in his sleep and moved to rub your side, he did his best to whisper “What do you need?” He never asked what do you want like it was a bothersome request, but rather what do you need like it was something necessary for you to keep living. “I want the melon from that fruit stand in the village. The one they had at the top in a small crate…” his mouth opened slightly like he was going to say something. Because here’s the thing, he bought that melon when he saw your eyes linger on it a little too long. But at the moment Uraume wasn’t there and he didn’t wanna carry around a small crate while he had things to do so he told the Vendor he would be back for it, and if he tried to sell it or let anything happen to it, it would be his life for that melon. He closed his mouth, “I…” he moved so he was sitting on the edge of the bed, “I’ll be right back.” You sat there rubbing your belly when he left, it didn’t feel like long considering the King of Curses was inhumanely fast. What took him longer was rummaging through the fruit vendor's stand looking for that cursed crate and melon. Finally he found it tucked away with a note in beg red characters, “LORD SUKUNA DO NOT DAMAGE DO NOT SELL AT ANY EXPENSE THE EMPEROR'S PREGNANT WIFE CAN STARVE IF IT SPARES MY LIFE.” He laughed to himself, a smug smile on his face, “These fools do have brains, how refreshing.”

He made it home and had your ladies in waiting bring you to the table, there he cracked open the crate showing you the perfect honeydew melon that had a thin layer of condensation making it look like the night dew had blessed it. Your tummy growled and your eyes shined bright for everyone to see. It was funny to see the melon on a red cushion in the crate before Sukuna carefully pulled it out and placed it on a wooden slab asking how you wanted it. You told him to cut it into slices, you watched him turn down the knife a lady in waiting offered him only to use to dismantle. It was faster, cleaner and efficient, he chose the best piece shaking off the seeds and handing it to you. You bought into it and it was the best thing in the world, until you finished your third piece and decided you didn’t want it anymore you were full and it started to taste funny. Your ladies in waiting giggled and Sukuna sighed when they started to clean it up, they decided to save the rest for you if you started craving it for at least the next two days.

——————

It wasn't long after that night, you found yourself awake at another ungodly hour of the night. You felt queasy and quickly jumped out of bed, rushing to the large washroom Sukuna loved to bathe in. You grabbed one of the brand new chamber pots the ladies in waiting had bought at Sukuna’s command for when you'd get sick in the morning. You thought you were alone but there was your husband, one arm rubbing your back, the other stilling your chalky hands, the second pair braiding your hair back and out of the way. Following you immediately he snapped at one of the servants to bring water and something to settle your stomach if it was needed. For now he provided the best comfort he could. His warm hands on your cold back and shaky hands might not have stopped your nausea but it was comforting to know he was there with you even if he could’ve just rolled over and slept. You would’ve kissed him or at least his cheek if you didn’t feel so dirty and your tummy didn’t ache and feel empty in a weird way.

——————

Here stood the King of Curses, it was past midday. He was lucky your cravings were during daylight this time but what he didn't understand was why you wanted to top your dango with crumbled salted egg yolk and mochi with dried squid topping. It made him sick and he was more than willing to eat raw human flesh. He sat there making sure the waiter never let your cup empty or your plates void of food but he stopped when you tried to top fried squid with a chocolate and red bean paste.

“Enough y/n, you will make yourself nauseous before the morning nausea starts tomorrow.” His voice and look were stern and authoritative which caused you to pout, “…fine.”

Of course that didn’t stop you from packing your left over into a little wooden bento box to take home.

So when you were hungry after being carried over half of the trip home you decided to eat that sinful concoction you called a meal. Just to find your bento had been tampered with and only had red bean paste buns and chocolate mochi. Your puffed out cheeks match your belly perfectly when you went around looking for Sukuna. Only to barge in on him having a conversation with Kenjaku. “Where’s my squid!” Kenjaku was surprised someone had the gall to raise their voice and be so demanding with the king of curses, “Not now Y/n” Sukuna tried to give you a look to tell you now isn’t an appropriate time, that didn’t stop you from getting closer seeing Kanjaku’s look of surprise when he saw your stomach swollen and prominent. The King of Curses’s wife was indeed pregnant meaning it was entirely possible for a curse to impregnate a human… but could a human.. “I told YOU I wanted that squid!” Your teary eyes had Sukuna’s eye twitching his mind was Screaming ‘dammit woman out of all the times you could cry and make a scene and walk out like THAT it had to be in front of this deranged man-?” He cleared his throat “URAUME- Yes Lord Sukuna.”

Uraume was quick to fry up squid for you, fresh, hot and crispy. It was perfect. His jaw dropped when he saw how you squeezed a drop of red bean paste and chocolate mochi filling on the squid just to take a bite. He also didn’t hesitate in running at you with one of the brand new chamber pots when all of your lunch came back up with that cursed squid. Your husband walked in and sighed, he looked at you as you wiped your mouth, “What did I tell you.” You avoided eye contact, “To not..” he placed a hand on your back rubbing up and down your spine, Uraume was quick to bring water.

————-

Finally, here was Sukuna kneeling in front of you between your legs. You were close to birthing so this had become a very common position for you. Your robes were open and he was listening to your stomach. He could hear very clearly and distinct your heart beat from your child’s. That little heart beat was strong and present no doubt his child. You always ran your hand over his hair, your nails scratching his scalp and he’d humm before finally pulling back. Spreading oil over his hands. All those Japanese Camellia seeds he forced servants to gather and extract oil from because you’d become self conscious of your body and the marks in your skin where your skin was stretching. He’d kneel there between your legs, warm hands rubbing your belly, sides, breasts and thighs down with the oil that everyone had sworn would help you prevent and recover from stretch marks. As much as he’d like to have advanced on you in these situations, he would've been doing this for your last trimester daily. There was no doubt in his mind he would’ve induced early labour, so there he sat pent up but tending to your silly little self conscious needs. Honestly, how could you think yourself ugly when he thought you looked perfectly swollen with his child. If he chose you, why would you belittle yourself? He doesn’t choose and take things that don’t meet his ridiculously high standards. So he doesn’t understand why all of a sudden the change in your mindset. But he’s here with you muttering comforting words against your stomach and thighs if it help you truly understand how he feels about you.

Squishy: @sad-darksoul @satorisgirl @bontensbabygirl @lupita97lm @queen-luna-007 @venus-seeks

@cyder-puff @bofadeezs

Perm: @sakuxxi @mercymccann @certainduckanchor @najiiix @bakugou-katsukis-wife @amitiel-truth @souyasplushie @mylovelessnightmare @ynjimenez @dolliira

Broken🥺: @cyder-puff @simpforyoubitch @domainofmarie @ilovemybabies378

[hwaightme]

Your fan, San (part 1)

(part 2) (your fan ml)

💬 pairing: san x interpreter!reader 💬 genre: romance, fluff, mutual pining 💬 summary: a bulletpoint-style wordstream of what it would be like if san was stanning you 💬 wordcount: 5.3k 💬 warnings/tags: language, simping, hopeless romantic, linguistics, interpreter/translator reader, duo bird terrors, ateez wingman alliance, concerts, public speaking, job stress, slow burn, falling in love hard and fast 💬 taglist: @acciocriativity, @senpai-of-doom, @layzfeelit @jcngh0-hq @black--awsum @honey-lemon-goose @i-luvsang @jackinmyarea💬 a/n: Hello there <3 we all know the standard languages, but how will Choi San, our next Fan in the series, go about learning the language of love? Let's find out! Thank you so much for your love and support, biggest hugs and stay tuned <3<3<3

ATINY were overwhelmingly supportive when San spoke a foreign language.

But he disliked it.

Because it meant that you had to stop.

And San loved nothing more than to see you gaze at him, fully focused, professional, and practically reading his mind as you translated his words at record speed.

Well you did that for every single member of ATEEZ, but that was besides the point. His focus was always on you.

You reminded him of a river. Gentle in your appearance and demeanour. At the same time, you possessed a unique turbulence, you could stand strong and proud, a fire in your eyes - the embodiment of passion as you spoke.

But exclusively if you felt the moment called for it. You were always transforming. Fluid. You were an ever-changing season. An unstoppable current. San wholly believed you had the power to see right through people because of how well you captured their sentiment.

San had always valued communication, and wanted to be on the same page as anyone he talked to. But unfortunately, that meant spending long hours hunched over books and staring at a demonic green owl on his phone.

In the early days of his career, that had been enough, but as the fanbase grew larger and more international, the pressure he had begun to feel when it came to simply talking and delivering a message was unprecedented.

He was not able to joke around, not able to say exactly what he wanted, and more often than not gave up and said something easier. But the passion was still there. Very much alive. So, San kept at it. Trying not to make Duo sad.

Of course, he was well aware that no matter how hard he tried, he and the rest of the members would not be able to become perfectly fluent by the next promotions and world tour, so having an interpreter on board was a must. This was so that they could focus on connecting with the audience on a much deeper level, so they would not be hindered either by vocabulary or by worry (even if they could explain themselves well).

Hence why it had not come as a surprise that the selection process for an interpreter, according to some staff San was friendly with, had been immensely difficult. So much so that apparently, a high percentage had quit before even making it close to the final rounds, and then those in the last selection stage had to risk facing humiliation, the test being interpreting at a live, high stress event.

And then, with only a few days before ATEEZ were meant to depart to Japan, they had received the news that an interpreter had been picked out. Prior to the concerts, you had barely interacted - only a couple of waves here and there. San noticed that you were on the quieter side, an avid reader, and had a habit of making notes on your phone.

He had initially assumed you were always texting someone, but after curiosity got the better of him and he had decided to at least become acquaintances, he was shown the insanity that was literary Japanese, reviews of honorifics and formal speech, colloquial phrases and translation of slang. You had even gone so far as to create your own guide for finding local analogies to different mythological or popular media references.

That was strike one.

Every single concert you were adaptive, and attentive to ATEEZ. You had even begun to check in on them prior to know what emotional landscape they wanted to deliver. You knew the setlist off by heart, had memorised the pauses between songs and when the members were to have live interactions with the audience that would require your participation.

When in your role, your demeanour changed entirely. Your voice was level, pronunciation like that of a native, and well measured out. San swore even he had begun learning Japanese passively simply because it was so easy to understand you.

Then, after the concerts were done, you did not take any compliments, merely smiling them off, instead being proud of everyone around you. You thanked the sound engineers, the technical staff, the security... anyone who you had the chance to thank, you did. It was a given that you congratulated ATEEZ after their performances, commending them for their hard work. When San had attempted to return the praises, he was met with that same bashful grin, and you explaining that you were merely extending their hearts out to the audience.

That was strike two.

And finally, there was the last concert. Sold out, with tens of thousands of ATINY, there to spend this amazing time together with the idols. And then, to deliver a surprise gift in the form of an animated video created by a group of dedicated fans who had painstakingly adapted submissions into the style of an animated film. It was a story of how important ATEEZ were to the fans, how they were heroes, how they deserved infinite amounts of love.

Each of the nation's prefectures had been represented, and at the end there was a 'handover' to the rest of the world, sending appreciation to other ATINY who will be meeting ATEEZ next. The majority of the group was tearing up, and while delivering their speeches, struggled to control their emotions. Each phrase was a cry from the soul, and San was not sure how it was possible to translate something like this.

And yet, you did. In that mellifluous voice, now holding a tinge of melancholy, you patiently collaborated with each member, listening to them pour themselves out, and pouring yourself out eightfold. Those who were able to understand Korean had already been misty-eyed, but as you included the others, the atmosphere changed completely.

It was a total unity. That complete understanding. The communication that San was always seeking. It did not matter how many people there were in a given place. What mattered, was that you were the key to reaching them all. So, on a whim, instead of letting Hongjoong do the honours like he normally would, he overtook the leader in announcing you. In thanking you for your hard work and for being the link between them and ATINY. Please applaud L/N Y/N, master interpreter.

That was strike three.

San was ready to risk it all, became the president of your growing fan club, and hearing your voice stopped being a want. It became a need.

--

To this day you were confused as to how your life had unfolded. To an extent, it was like you were put on standby and then watched someone who looked just like you go and do cool things with your life.

You had joined KQ Entertainment on a contractual basis to support ATEEZ in the Japan leg of their tour, and technically, were supposed to part ways as soon as it was over. But as luck (or someone else's unfortunate series of events) would have it, due to the incredibly short time between schedules, unexpected illnesses and conflicts, you were offered to join the group in the US as well.

It was an easy decision for you.

Firstly, because you had gotten close enough with the members, since your job was to deliver not only the words, but also their emotional weight.

Secondly, bold of anyone to assume that you had other job offers lying around when most companies had hiring freezes and could not care less for your work experience and skills.

But no one needed to know about that second part.

Instead, you simply agreed, and as such, signed yourself up to way more than you had ever expected.

And what was that exactly? Your own strange version of fame in the form of ATINY calling you the ATEEZ Megaphone, the Voice of Reason, 8 Makes 1 Voice, Miss Worldwide (which officially imprinted the rapper Pitbull into your head), ATEEZmind... among many, many others.

You had become a kind of staple to ATEEZ performances abroad, with fans cheering when you made appearances for the interludes between songs. And the couple of times that you had been asked to be on standby for fan signs, there had been some ATINY who came up to you, as though you were the ninth member of ATEEZ, just to thank you for being there for the fans, for making the connection so much more special, and for working so hard to make ATEEZ global.

Did you cry a bit in your hotel room after that had happened? Yes - what could one say? You were very sentimental, and this kind of softness just did it for you. Also you had made a small plushie, a big-eyed, adorable kitten that an ATINY in the US had given to you, a permanent travel companion.

--

At the very start of your time at KQ, your insecurities had been running high, and you would spend sleepless nights reviewing just what you had translated, convincing yourself that you could have done a better job, writing ceaselessly on receipts, envelopes, in notebooks and in notes on your phone the myriad of alternatives your could conjure only after the event.

You had never thought that after completing your higher education in linguistics you would end up being a moderately high profile interpreter. At best, you had laid out a peaceful, uneventful life as a translator in some publishing house, spending your days in front of a computer and stacks of dictionaries. You imagined yourself to be a theorist, a silent practitioner of the craft rather than an attention-demanding performer.

That was how you had been throughout your early years. Reading. Writing. Speaking when necessary, afraid of saying the wrong thing. It was a vicious cycle. You dedicated yourself to classics, finding tranquility and reassurance in complexity and archaic passages (a stark contrast to the slang and inside jokes that you were now having to process at high speeds).

It was only in later years of university that you started breaking out of your shell, after you and a couple of your peers had been scouted to aid in an international conference. You had agreed since it would be a glorious add-on to your CV, but did not expect for it to take you as far as it had done.

If you had to use an analogy for how you felt, it would be like a surfer who just kept on living through fluke after fluke. The waves that you were being hit with were more and more menacing, approaching tsunami heights, but you were still standing, amazed that you had not been swept under.

Maybe no one was going to stop you, or talk to you on the street, ever, but the sheer thought was enough to throw you through a loop. You were not there to be a persona, nor a star. You were there because you loved languages, for goodness' sake, and had been selected to use that love in a way that helped those who actually wanted to be and were stars to connect with their fans.

Interestingly, from the beginning of your journey, you had found reassurance and comfort in one of the unlikeliest people. And really, it had been him who had ended up making a lot of things in your life just fall into place.

San.

Aside from Hongjoong, who, being the captain, was constantly interacting with all staff even outside of the immediate circle, San had been the first to take an interest in what you were doing, and why you were loitering around the corridors backstage, eyes glued to your phone.

You had at first assumed that he was going to scold you, having seen a couple of live shows where he was more than displeased about fellow members not paying their full attentions thanks (or no thanks) to the mobile phones in their hands.

But the look of genuine curiosity in his eyes quickly cleared up your concerns, and when he had begun to ask questions... you had gone on a roll. Conclusion: if someone were to ask you about linguistics, they better prepare themselves for a TEDx Talk because you were not going to serve them any less.

Although you had tried to convince yourself all throughout your higher education and work life that you did not need validation, the passionate encouragement that San had given you that day was a big driving force for you to try even harder for the Japan concerts. And even to you, your own biggest critic, the change had been noticeable. And nothing short of exhilarating.

By the last concert in the country, you were excited to step on the side of the stage. You wanted to speak to ATINY, you wanted to share the beautiful words ATEEZ were sending their way, with them. It was your duty and your desire. And it is a commonly known fact that a job that is loved, is a job that turns into fun.

It was that exact concert that had become your 'break'. Right at the end, when everyone was saying their goodbyes, San decided to give you a special mention, to which the lighting team had responded by, quite literally, putting the spotlight on you.

Over thirty thousand people in the arena, and even more online, now knew who the woman behind the voice was. They knew who was, effectively, dubbing their favourite K-Pop group.

The shoutout had been entirely unexpected, sure, and it had made your confidence crumble a little as you struggled to find the right words to both thank San and translate what was happening. It felt like two conflicting signals were entering your brain at the same time.

But at the same time, it made you feel real. It made you feel like you really had been speaking. And that you had been heard. The beauty and the curse about language, was that it was a tool to connect. Even in written form. It's perception and appreciation could only be achieved if there was a person to do it. And in spoken form, seeing the nods, hearing the sighs, any reactions from another, that was the way you knew you had done your job.

So instead of cowering away, like you would have done only a couple of years ago, you stepped into the light, in front of the audience. You thanked them from the bottom of your heart, bowing, and then, turned to do the same to ATEEZ, with perfect grace, and honest appreciation. The photographs of you had rapidly made rounds around the internet, and the hashtag #thankyouYN had climbed up in trending on Twitter for a short while.

It was odd to think that you felt at home in the environment that you had been afraid of, and that people praised you for what you had been insecure about all your life. At the same time, you did not want to be a star, and even when ATINY sent you messages, or cheered for you, you kindly tried to switch the attention back to ATEEZ. You were there because you loved languages, and had been selected to use that love in a way that helped connect the real shining, talented and hard-working stars with the loyal, brilliant and kind fans.

If your short progression from a nervous new hire to a fully-fledged interpreter with a tour under your belt were to be simplified, one could say that San had been a catalyst for your opening up. Thus, he might have been the reason why you had been made a permanent member of staff.

it was only so far that luck could carry you, and without having the skill and dedication to your name, KQ had the power to dismiss you with a click of a finger. There were undoubtedly thousands of talented interpreters out there, who would have dropped everything to go to the US and beyond. But KQ had settled for you. And you wanted to do your best to do everything in your power to make ATEEZ perfectly international.

And just like that, a whirlwind of a world tour had passed, and you, plushie in hand, and heavy luggage rolling behind you, were on your way home to an apartment that probably forgot that it even had an owner (who - shocker - still had to pay rent even when continents away). You were told that you were to have a 'bit of a break' since the group was to firstly rest, and secondly focus on local promotions for the next couple of months.

What did that mean for you? It was time to become a social recluse and freelance some translations. Another side benefit that had come from your increase in popularity was that you had come to get more commissions both through your independent channels, and through company requests.

It was easy enough to plough through the standard documents that publishing houses sent you, the only difficulty being if say, you had been translating from Korean to Japanese for hours on end, and then your next project asked you to translate English to Spanish, you would need a moment to rewire a bit. But at the same time that was the fun bit - keeping up fluency to a top-level professional standard in as many languages as you could.

What was a little less easy, but had grown to be your guilty pleasure, was the private commissions you received. Of course, you had your set of rules, limitations, restrictions - whatever one wanted to call it, but undoubtedly, the individual was more creative than the corporation. You had received requests to translate long paragraphs of breakup texts, fan fiction - though you did have to put an end to that era since you had begun to receive... interesting ATEEZ content, love poems, dark poems, essays... if it was written, you had probably received it at least once.

Since starting this little side adventure, you had been quite selective, as this was still a portfolio of your work, and you needed to keep a good image. So you were no stranger to dismissing orders if they did not sit right with you.

This was exactly what you were doing, early morning upon your return. The sun was streaming into your bedroom as you were sat at your desk, clicking and typing away response after response, deletion after deletion... until one particular request had caught your eye.

It had been sent at an odd time of night, but who were you to judge - you had not even slept yet. The writing felt familiar, friendly, open. The greeting and explanation were all respectful, and they had even commented on some of the work you had previously done.

They were also honest about how they had discovered you - they were a dedicated ATINY, and a big reader, so when they found out who the skilled Korean to Japanese interpreter for ATEEZ was, they really wanted to get to know your work better. And after doing so, felt it only right to request your services.

You were flattered, and after looking through the file they had sent - which turned out to be an excerpt from a very recently published Korean book that had not been translated to any language yet, you agreed to help. With a smile on your face, you sent back an email accepting the order, adding a reminder of expected timescales and fees.

--

"OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS IT IS HAPPENING IT IS HAPPENING IT IS HAPPENING SHE RESPONDED AND SHE ACCEPTED AAAAAAH"

San yelled at the top of his voice, nearly approaching Wooyoung's witch laugh register. Seonghwa, who had made the mistake of sitting right next to him rapidly covered his ears and winced as the action did not help - the man took him by the shoulder and started shaking him excitedly, while rereading the standard business email from you as though it was a Nobel laureate's magnum opus.

With the hoots of support from the rest of the members, they were sure to have scared off any form of wilderness and other visitors in the vicinity - since they had a few days off, on a whim they decided to get out of the dorms and enjoy nature by going on a camping trip.

Though this action seemed to result only in higher phone use than usual, particularly from San, who had reached his breaking point when it came to you.

It was obvious from the start that he was not indifferent towards you. From the quick glances in your direction, to the efforts that he had made in secret to try and improve both his English and Japanese (to the point of changing language settings on his devices and getting some novels and textbooks in the respective languages), he was always paying attention to what you were doing.

During concerts, when he knew you were out there on the stage, ready and in place before a talking segment, he would perform with even more vigour, sending the cameras his most alluring glances. He knew you would be looking at the screens, and he wanted you to focus on him.

And then there was his new role as president of the interpreter fan club. This was an inside joke floating around the fandom, becoming more popular when during a concert in the US, he had decided to jokingly test you by saying pickup lines he had learned in different languages. Everyone had taken it to be 'classic San being playful', but his intention was to just shamelessly flirt with you.

But he was the one who had ended up being flustered as you translated all that he said without your eyes leaving him a single time, a hint of a smirk on your face. It was almost like you were saying it all right back to him. Only him. He hoped that were the case.

If he were to be any more obvious, Hongjoong personally would make a public service announcement about San being all up in his feelings for you. He had busted through the wall of being just a fan like a monster truck, and was already a few months deep in the infatuation phase.

"Who's the simp now, huh?" Hongjoong could not resist taking a jab at the younger member, out of respect for the nerve cells he had lost.

The only downside was that San was not even denying it, nor fighting against the label. Instead he just kept on showing those near him the fact that he had an email from you, and in the future he would have a translation, done just for him, by you. And what fun was it if the person you were trying to roast had no verbal ammo at the ready?

"At least it's not bath water he is buying..." Seonghwa whispered, still unable to fully recover from the shake-up and massaging his now sore shoulder.

"We couldn't find it, that's next on the list." Wooyoung picked up on the retort. He approached San and patted him on the back, "Isn't that right?"

"Oh fuck off... but for real this is so cool. She is going to be doing what she loves, and doing it for me~" in a sing-song voice, he recounted, again, the battle plan that he and the rest of ATEEZ had conjured.

"See? I told you it would be a good idea." Yunho commented proudly, while climbing out of his tent. Mingi followed suit, though he did not get out fully, instead choosing to sit right at the entrance and applaud himself from there:

"And look at me go with that perfect book choice."

It had been a very spontaneous decision to pick it, but he did not have to market it as such. Since he was the one to actually go into book stores at least sometimes, the members trusted him well enough to go with what he proposed.

"Well executed, lads. Mission successful, we are levelling up." Wooyoung clapped his hands and gave a quick salute, while San was still in his own reality.

A rare silence fell upon the group. But, just as they were about to move on, with some of the members being on 'response-crafting duty', Yeosang, after much pondering, stated:

"Senpai is finally noticing you after like... a year," which finally snapped San out of his enchantment.

"HEY it's only been like... nine months... and a bit... that isn't a year!" he tried to sound convincing, but it just came out as desperate. At least he stopped himself from saying the exact number of weeks and days since he had first met you.

"Yeah, yeah, keep saying that."

"This is exactly why we are doing operation 'Love Language'." to come to the smitten one's defense, Yunho piped in, now having managed to wedge himself between San and Seonghwa, the latter mouthing him a 'thank you' with a pained smile.

"I thought it was because we are sick and tired of his shit?" Jongho asked monotonously, head perched on his hand while he had at the far end of the picnic table ATEEZ had expropriated.

"That too! But-"

"And that if he goes any harder on stage he'll turn into Magic Mike?" Yeosang took Jongho's side in a split second, them exchanging a knowing look of comrades in misery.

"Careful, ATINY might ask for that."

The captain attempted to get the discussion back on at least some kind of track, while being well aware that this group had a special talent in de-railing. And his comment did not help a single bit, instead provoking Wooyoung.

"They already do, ever been online?"

"I have, and it's either cursed conspiracy theories about our lore or thirst edits." Hongjoong pinched the bridge of his nose, getting flashbacks to an impossibly long Twitter thread that he spent half an hour of his life on, just to confirm that at this point, him and CEO Kim Gyu Uk were alone in big-braining the universe.

"I bet you watch demon line edits Joongie-" Wooyoung winked at him, and sent some finger guns.

"Right this is OFF TOPIC!" the captain attempted to rein the kids in, albeit half-heartedly.

"There's a topic?" Yeosang leaned over to Jongho and asked him, not expecting a response, since it was obviously 'no'.

"Yeah, and it is that Y/N and San are going to be in closer contact now." Wooyoung addressed the group, stretching his hands out, every bit a narrator on stage.

"But isn't it more like: Y/N being in contact with San who is parading as an ATINY with an interesting taste in books?" Mingi raised an eyebrow and questioned.

"Tom-ay-to tom-ah-to, whatever. At least they're going to be talking more personally."

"And not in front of my fuckin' salad," the maknae asserted, "I am seriously surprised she has not caught on that you are trying to pull moves all this time."

"Maybe... just maybe... I have a sneaking suspicion... that it could be the million-person audience that does it. Really sets a romantic, and intimate mood." Seonghwa added, words dripping with irony.

"Well, you guys, there isn't much that I can really do about that, can I? This is what our jobs and lifestyles are."

With an exasperated sigh, San shut off his phone and slumped down on the bench, just nearly missing Yunho. He cupped his head in his hands, and gazed off, wistfully, into the distance. As of late, when he was not practicing or performing, he would be be daydreaming, just like this.

"Maybe you could just forget that and... ask her out?" Hongjoong verbally knocked San back into the ring,

"SAYS WHO? My man, do you want me to remind you of a couple of things?"

"Yeah, please do, and I will remind you of your shamelessness and the death wish you apparently still have."

"Gents, gents! We still have a 'thank you' email to write, we need at least one brain cell for that."

Yunho's call for action ended up being the most effective of all, as the group gathered around San, and commenced shouting over one another in an attempt to write a single coherent line acknowledging that the information has been received, and that they will be paying half the fee shortly.

Why had the call been effective? Because San managed to do the impossible. He managed to drive his fellow members up the wall with his pining to the point where they could not take it anymore, and made it their mission to save San.

It was Y/N this, Y/N that. All. The. Time.

"Y/N taught me some English slang the other day, do you want to hear?"

"Did you know that Y/N co-translated this bestseller?"

"Have you heard her speaking in French? I am out here only knowing 'Paris Baguette' and she is like a native - while saying that she barely knows it."

"Did you see how she looked at me after that performance? Told you it was a good idea for me to change the outfit up!"

"Wait I'll be back in five minutes I want to say hi to Y/N!"

Even Wooyoung minimised his teasing, simply because the man was totally gone. There had been a phase for about a month where his affection towards you maybe was within the realm of reasonable, and 'light' enough for the rest of ATEEZ to poke fun at him.

But San being San, that changed fast. The more chances he got to speak with you, the more he got to find out what you liked, the more certain he became that 'you were the one', you were 'talent and skill itself' and you were the dream alive.

At the same time, San being San, he was not verbal about his feelings. Not even a bit. In his mind, that was over-stepping, and was off limits. So he did everything else 'over the top' instead.

The peak of it had of course been the 'putting you on a (well-deserved) pedestal' in front of ATINY. That had been a cry of a man who fell hard and fast in love, and that same night, ATEEZ had hosted a UN-level meeting around how to proceed. Hongjoong had already been aware that you were going to be extended a permanent offer, so timelines did not matter much - except for the remnants of the members' sanity.

Wooyoung ended up interrupting the proceedings with his screech of "IT IS OKAY TO FALL IN LOVE", and as such, the action was let go, only to see it become a much adored trend in the fandom. The members thought that this would mean major progress. But no. No, you had to be the oblivious one.

Had to be the one so dedicated to her job that you interpreted San's signals as general friendliness and support. You respected him, yes. You most definitely were grateful to him, and out of all ATEEZ members you spoke to him the most. But to none of them was it ENOUGH.

Even when he had made you to interpret his flirtations (as prompted by Wooyoung), you took it just as 'a regular day with ATEEZ', whilst making him nearly go into cardiac arrest.

That was when the plan came about. To strike through literature. Through language. To express love through the pages of a book, in the hopes of translating that to real feeling. It was convoluted, and had no real outcome except trusting chance, and fate, but San was enough of a hopeless romantic to agree to it in a heartbeat.

Because what was the fun in confessing over text, right? He had your number, you messaged one another before, but again, 'what if he ruined something by messaging the wrong thing'? Besides, he could not think of an excuse to text you outside of work without feeling like he was being too pushy.

Thus, operation 'Love Language' became everyone's problem, and everyone's daily dose of drama.

Except for you, without a clue, having brewed some tea, sat down like L from Death Note on your chair, and got to work.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

Hello, Anon, this is your Oldie Chinese Diaspora Anon™️. I am sorry to keep you waiting. As you’ve probably noticed, vinyl and non-resin dolls are usually not my forte. It took a while to dig up some information for you, but I hope to be able to answer your questions.

The advent of “Cheaper, affordable MJDs” didn’t come from the desire to make BJDs affordable. In fact, the technology that really elevated the production of this kind of MJDs started from what we understand as vinyl collectibles. These small figurines are made from a combination of PVC powders as well as a series of other emulsifiers, lubricators and activators (From the factory that produces them, here: http://www.dgzhonglinhb.com/news_content-859681.html ) Different companies have slightly different recipes, which would explain the different pliability of their final products. The technology was first created as a way to create memorabilia that are of limited edition and they were first considered as collectibles. They’re known internally as “Urbanvinyls” and include signed trinkets that can go for hundreds, if not thousands of dollars. Some examples would be KAWS, Kidrobot, Tokidoki, Bearbrick etc.

With the rise of “Made in China” soft power, the internally patriotic sentiment had fostered local artist-designed vinyl collectibles, which had eventually ballooned into the blind box craze that we see in the last 4-5 years. It also opened a door for vinyl/PVC based MJDs. I do not think they were specifically made to usurp the DD/SmD market, but since “moe sells”, a lot of the new doll companies go with the cute, anime-inspired aesthetic while the blind boxes cater to more design elements. These newly designed MJDs tend to be small, usually 1/12 and 1/6; larger ones exist, but they are rare. In all, they are created to be much more like their direct inspiration, the “blind box collectibles” than what we would usually consider to be articulated dolls. It also meant their target demographic is very different as well. The lower price point allows more people to impulse buy out of FOMO; these are things you buy on a whim instead of saving up to buy.

In this arena, Imómó is not alone in terms of aesthetic, pricing or packaging. Other companies in this group include Hüa Jüan, Tïny Fóx, UFdóll, CNDóll, Kimdóll, Pópmilk, Mónst and the upcoming YünLai/LückyDoll, etc (but not YMY – who has lost a battle with Piccodo for copying their body design recently). These dolls are created with a higher number in circulation in mind – but still limited enough to stimulate the FOMO behaviour – with shared features (sharing bodies, design elements, etc). To keep the production cost down, these dolls would be considered rather threadbare compared to BJDs. I have seen box opening videos where the floating “blind box” heads were packaged in a brown shipping box and wrapped around in clear plastic bags with no other packaging material. The “accessories” for these dolls are usually close to none as well – no or very simple COAs, basic box, air-filled tubes instead of fabric cushions, etc.A snapshot in time in online stores shows that Imómó is definitely not an outlier in the new era of MJDs: https://weibo.com/1448114577/Nj9fqfog3

https://www.dollyteria.com/product-list/58?page=1

If there’s something that really made Imómó stand out, it was the rumours that spread within Chinese doll collectors earlier in the summer of 2023 about the company not issuing legitimate receipts (usually with the intention to cook their books to pay less in taxes). They accuse Imómó of being a “Three Nothings” company (no date of manufacture, no QC and no source factory) with really awful customer service. They had registered the company as an “overseas-based” one so they would be in a different tax bracket. Some collectors also accuse the owner and their family members infiltrating doll collector groups to hype up their own products and downplay the complaints. A popular agent, SWDólls, were also implicated in helping them to not issue traceable receipts. (Details and screen grabs can be found here: https://weibo.com/7303299294/N8lHE6wGE?type=repost ) I have also heard of owners who complain about the parts not fitting well, the seamlines were wide and uneven as well as other imperfections that should’ve never passed QC, if there was a QC.

I understand that most of us, who are looking in from the outside, would wholly welcome a new era of articulated dolls that are affordable. They are a great entry point for people who want to get into BJDs or just want to collect these dolls on their own. I personally think they are great the way they are, because they are starting to populate a brand-new market for people who like dolls in general. However, the first company that most folks encounter in this group was probably Imómó. I cannot comment on the accusations made by the Chinese collectors; all I can say is, I am hoping that the other named companies start to make headway into the overseas market. We’d been waiting.

Note: The write up here didn’t include previously existing vinyl dolls such as Azóne and Obitsü or the vinyl versions of resin dolls such as Kinókó Jüice and Püyüdolls. This write-up only includes MiC, PVC-based, original, MJDs. My understanding is that they are not on par with the company in question in terms of price range, target market and country of origin. I didn’t think they’d make for a fair comparison, but your mileage may vary.

~Anonymous

[eaglyn]

Take my hand | Kamisato Ayato x reader

●You and Ayato are the future rulers of two neighbouring countries, as such you've known each other for ages. Though you were good friends for a while, your sentiments towards one another eventually change

It was the day of the anual spring festival again, but this time, it was your country hosting it for the other countries in the alliance. Disregarding the weight that was placed upon your shoulder by the fact that you were in charge of both the welcoming speech and organizing a significant part of the event itself.

You've never done anything like this before, but as the king said, if you're going to be the next queen of the land, you have to learn how to be in charge. He also said that he'd announce when he'd be stepping down from the throne during the final night of the festival.

Sometimes even you yourself forgot that you weren't actually his daughter. The royal couple didn't have any children, so when the duke and duchess of the province passed away in an accident, leaving you, their one year old daughter behind, the king decided to take you in and raise you as his own.

But to you, he is still your father the same way the late queen was your mother.

Your mother... she was the true ruler of the country up until she died of old age and sickness three years ago, leaving behind in the will that you are to take the throne when both you, and your father feel that you are ready.

You have been taking on more and more big responsibilities lately, and you felt ready. You've grown a lot since that disastrous speech at the queen's funeral, but you still internally cringe every time you remember it.

You recall how you just spent the next two hours in your garden ranting to Ayato. He'll be here for the festival too, but this time you know it will go well. Still, you are excited to see him.

***

A few days later, it was finally time. Royalty and nobles from the alliance were pouring into your castle's massive garden, and you were just standing on the podium in your fancy dress, the king by your side.

Your eyes were scouting the crowd for a certain blue haired man while in your mind you were going over your speech. Soon enough all the guests had arrived, and it was time for you to start speaking.

The speech went smoothly, and you got a round of applause at the end. As people were leaving to their hotels, Ayato staid and waited for you by the podium, and you practically flew into his arms as you saw him.

"I've missed you too." He said, lifting you into the air and spinning around before placing you down.

"How was the journey on the way here?" You asked him, finally letting go.

"It was a pleasant ride. However Ayaka was sick, so we did have to stop a few times."

"Is she alright? Where is she?" You were very good friends with Ayaka too, naturally, you were concerned.

"She's alright. We had a butler take her to the castle's infirmary as soon as we arrived here." You nodded in response. Ayato's and Ayaka always stay at the castle when they're visiting, and the same way you also stay at their castle when you're in their country.

As the two of you were walking towards the castle, your mind wandered to old memories. You remembered begging your parents to let you stay at the Kamisato siblings' castle the firsr time you met Ayato. That night you and Ayaka snuck into Ayato's room for a sleepless sleepover since you staid up almost all night to talk about everything under the sun.

The next time you met them was when they were visiting you, and this time it took a lot less convincing for your parents to let them stay at the castle, and once again, you staid up almost the whole night just hanging out.

When their parents died, it took a big toll on Ayaka, and she became a lot more closed off even around you, while you and Ayato only got closer. You always made sure to invite Ayaka when you hung out, but even when she didn't come, you two had a lot of fun.

You pretended to run a kingdom together, the subjects being the animals in your castle's stable, and other times you'd just listen to music on a disk and end up dancing in your room. You remembered thinking Ayato was pretty when you were little, but as you both grew up, you had to admit he turned into a truly handsome gentleman.

Sometimes he'd jokingly kiss the back of your hand, other times he'd purposefully torture you with corny pick-up lines that he whispered into your ear while you were dancing. At this point, could you really blame yourself for how you felt? Your stomach filled with butterflies every time you were with him, and even your father teased that you looked like a starry-eyed puppy around him.

"Earth to Y/n?" You heard him say from beside you.

"Huh? Oh, sorry, I was just reminiscing."

"About what?"

"Do you remember the sleepover we had the first time we met?" He smirked at you, and you could already feel that he'll try to tease you with whatever he'll say.

"Thinking about me even when I'm right here beside you? My oh my, Y/n." You rolled your eyes, blushing lightly.

"Oh come on, it's a nice memory. I was thinking how we should have another one." He smiled and patted your head.

"Alright, I'll stop teasing. It's a good idea, by the way, but Ayaka won't be able to be there."

"Right... poor Ayaka. I hope she'll get better soon." You said.

"Don't worry, it wasn't that serious. Just motion sickness, and she needs a rest. She was actually really looking forward to this festival. I haven't told you this, but she met a nice traveller, and she's been visibly a lot happier since." You smiled, happy for her, but at the same time you couldn't resist the urge to tease him back for what he said earlier.

"Oh wow, your little sister actually got bagged before you?"

"Y/n darling, I've had eyes for someone for a long time, but alas, she just doesn't realize." And that shut you up very quickly. On one hand you hoped he was talking about you. On the other hand, Ayato had always been the fliry, teasing kind, so who's to say that any of it was actually genuine. You knew that he was popular with girls back in his country, so maybe he found someone he likes.

"Do you wanna come check up on Ayaka?" You switched the topic, and he nodded.

You two walked to the infirmary in silence, and saw Ayaka sitting in a chair, reading. Hearing someone come in, she looked up and put the book down to run and hug you.

"Y/n! It's so good to see you! I'm sorry I couldn't be there for your opening speech, you'll have to repeat it to me." She said, and thinking back to Ayato's words, she did seem to be doing better mentally.

"It's alright, your wellbeing is more important than some formalities." She pulled away, and nodded with a smile on her face.

"Thank you. I've been really looking forward to this festival. Nothing compared to my brother of course, he wouldn't stop talking about how-" Ayato cleared his throat, interrupting her, while Ayaka just giggled.

"There won't be any important activities until tomorrow, so you'll have time to rest and get better."

You spent the following few hours in the infirmary, catching up with the Kamisato siblings before eventually going to the hotel the rest of the guests were staying at to check up on them.

Ayato's words stuck with you. You truly hoped that he was talking about you when he said he fancied someone, but you couldn't possibly know what kind of girls he talked to back in his own country. After all, everyone is so beautiful there.

Meanwhile the visit at the hotel went smoothly, and talking to all those old acquaintances, you almost managed to get your mind off everything. Of course, there was the usual shenanigan of older people asking you when you plan to get married, or questioning your adoptive father's judgement on letting you rule the kingdom alone, but you are a princess after all. No matter how annoying, you've learned to deal with everything gracefully, even if mentally you are cursing out the individual.

Exhausted, you go back to the castle, and it feels like your bed had never been so comfortable before. You didn't even have the energy to go and check up on Ayaka.

***

The following few days went by with you rushing around the place half of the time, making sure that everything was perfect. You felt accomplished that you could bear the weight of keeping the entire festival running on your back, but this also left you to be unable to spend much time with your friends.

This changed on the fifth day of the festival, the day that the grand ball would be held in your castle. Once again, you had a whole list of things to do, which the king offered to help with, but you refused, feeling determined to actually finish it by yourself.

Eventually it all fell into place. The live music was perfect, the foods were exquisite, the decoration was beautiful, and it wasn't just a pointless ball where people would eat, dance and discuss boring kingdom management topics that belong to an alliance meeting, instead you made sure to include some fun.

The best example was a game where the princes and princesses from each country would randomly team up and come up with a dance that was a merged version of both of their countries' dancing types. They had thirty minutes to do so, and the winner would get gifts, such as expensive beverages unique to your country. It should come as no surprise that you ended up in a pair with Ayato.

The two of you went out into the garden, first discussing which dances you were thinking of until you came up with the perfect combination. You planned out each step and move carefully, and all that remained was practicing it.

"Take my hand." Ayato said at the beginning of the dance, and so you did. Holding his hand you two took two steps forward before facing each other. His hand settled on your waist, while yours was on his shoulder. You suddenly forgot your steps.

"My, my, Y/n. Be more attentive, this is a competition after all." You looked away and nodded.

"Let's start over." You said. This time you managed to get halfway through the dance, up until a moment where Ayato dips you. Your face was simply too close to his, and you wanted nothing more than to just kiss him. But you also couldn't be sure of whether or not it was you that he fancied, and you couldn't risk your friendship over some feelings in the case that it wasn't you.

"Alright, break time." He helped you stand up and lead you to a nearby bench, sitting down before signaling you to do so as well. "There is clearly something on your mind, and it's getting in the way of our performance. So out with it." He looked at you dead in the eye, waiting for you to speak.

"It's not important." You said, avoiding his gaze.

"Y/n. We've been dancing together every time we've met for the last twelve years. Never before have you frozen up or forgotten steps before today. Whatever is on your mind, you can tell me." He placed a hand on your shoulder, taking your chin in the other hand and making you look at him. "Now look me in the eye and say it."

He was giving you a look that indicated he wouldn't go anywhere, or let you go anywhere until you say it, so you took a deep breath, heart pounding, and opened your mouth.

"I've been thinking about what you said earlier. You remember how I teased that Ayaka got into a relationship before you, even though you're the older one?" He just nodded, and waited for you to continue. "You replied that you've had eyes for someone for a while now, but the person doesn't realize. I'll be honest, Ayato, I've fancied you for a really long time now, but I couldn't figure out who you were talking about. I felt crushed, jealous because there are so many beautiful girls back in your country, and I just saw no way that it could be me that you like."

"You're right, Y/n, I don't like you. Liking you is far too big of an understatement of how I feel. I've tried dropping hints before, but you just never realized. I'm sorry I caused you so much emotional trouble." You hugged him tightly with a wide smile on your face.

He eventually pulled away, glancing at your lips before looking you in the eyes. "Can I kiss you?"

"Of course." You said, and with that, he leaned in. You felt like you were in heaven, like your biggest wish finally came true, because it did. You were finally kissing the one you've loved for the longest time. His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you even closer while your hands settled in his soft, baby blue hair.

Suddenly, you heard the sound of someone clearing his throat. "Uh... sorry to interrupt, but the preparation time is up." It was the king. You two hastily pulled apart, and both of your faces were red as cherries, looking like children who were just caught doing something bad.

"Congratulations, by the way. You two have my blessing." Your father said, turning around and walking away, with you two soon following after him.

The two of you went into the ballroom, holding hands for support. You two were last in the order in which the pairs would be performing, so you had a lot of time to see what you were up against.

The first pair was creative when it came to merging the two cultures' dances, however they had little to no chemistry. A good pair makes it seem like they merge into one for the sake of the dance, however this pair seemed like two separate pieces performing two separate dances with some intertwining moments, which was a shame, since the dance itself was creative.

The second pair were a big step down from the first pair, as they completely failed to merge different dances at all. They just separately performed dances from both countries.

The third pair were something spectacular, as they had very good chemistry and it was evident that both of them were experienced dancers. Everything seemed to be perfect about this dance, up until the moment when the long train on the girl's dress became a liability as she was walking backwards, causing her to fall.

Much like the first pair, the fourth pair had problems with chemistry. The boy was a very experienced dancer, while the girl wasn't advanced enough to keep up with him half the time, while the idea itself was great.

It was finally up to yourself and Ayato to take the stage, which you gladly did.

"Take my hand." He said, you smiled and placed your hand onto his. The dance went flawlessly. You two moved around in perfect harmony, so gracefully as if you'd been preparing for this dance your whole lives.

In the end, you two were rewarded with a massive round of applause, but you only had one idea in mind. You turned towards Ayato, looking him in the eye before glancing at his lips. He got the hint, tilting your chin upwards before pressing his lips against yours, wrapping his other arm around your torso. He pulled away after a few seconds, and you both turned towards the crowd, which was cheering for both your victory, and your new formed relationship.

[trash-can-sam]

Can I just say I adore Qi’s relationship with Mint. I feel like its such a good way showing the other side of Qi before they get close enough to see it, and idk I dont think people talk about it enough.

I find it interesting partially because it reveals a lot about Qi’s tendency to be sentimental and hold onto the past (despite the fact he would never admit it.) I find this an interesting aspect of him I dont see brought up enough. He keeps memories of his family and espeically his grandfather very close, I feel like he’s one of the characters with the most photos of family in his room actually (idk correct me if im wrong on that im not sure) and holds on to even small ideas he had as a child (gunghamm mobile suit, katana thing, etc.) 

Now, this could be for several reasons. I feel like a lot of it is rooted in wanting to prove himself to people, wanting to make his dreams reality for himself, absolutely, but also wanting other people to see that he was right to believe in himself and his intellect. He mentions people thinking he was crazy for going to Sandrock, and he doesnt really hide that he wants to be known for his acomplishments. Qi cant stand being wrong and even if it seems impossible to make his childhood dreams a reality he’s going to try his damnedest, so part of the reason he holds onto his childhood dreams is out of spite.

I also feel like theres a component of not wanting to have wasted potential. He talks a bit about how he thinks his parents are wasting their lives and potential by being perfectly content with being simple fishermen who dont desire measurable improvement (money, fish caught, that type of thing). So I feel like he has definetly internalized that dissapointment in his parents by doing the opposite and desiring measurable improvement above all else, because otherwise how can he be sure what he’s doing is worth much?

A lot of this is in contrast to Mint, who doesnt hold onto his past that much. He barely talks about it at all, largely because well, there isnt a lot there. Mint doesnt care that much about proving himself to others, he doesnt care about proving himself to himself. He’s willing to largely take life how its given to him. DONT GET ME WRONG, hes not necessarily a slacker by any means, nor is he unmotivated, But I feel like by Qi’s means he definetly would be.

Mint does what he needs to, he does it well, and he takes a nap. Qi does what he isn’t required to do, does it well, and then does more shit he isnt required (and often he should not) do. In a lot of ways, Mint does what he does directly to help others where Qi does what he does for himself, and if others get helped so be it. You see this in the type of jobs they choose too, with Mint being an engineer who goes around the free cities and helps with town improvement and Qi being a solitary researcher who went to a town on the verge of collapse, not necessarily to help the people there, but to find an old world spaceship, for himself and for recognition for his work.

I also find it interested in how theyre united in their isolation from others. Neither Mint nor Qi really have that many friends. All Mint really has is Gale, whos more of an uncle than a friend really, and all Qi has is well... no one that he acknowleges as a friend ( I feel like hes on a lot friendlier terms with a lot of the town than he would mention BUT THATS FOR ANOTHER TIME ). They both clearly struggle with making friends, Mint because hes on the move, and Qi because its not a goal. For both of them, making meaningful connections with people aren’t really a priority. The priority is always their work, both of them wanting to be recognized more for their work than for themselves as people. 

IDK I just think its very interesting. I could probably write more TBH but this is kind of insane. I just like thinking about them rly theyre the bestest of pals.  

[mysteriawrites]

hi 🗣️ may i please request a bg3 matchup?? (i'm p sure i've done matchups for you in the past on my sideblog @frostfall-matches - i'd be happy to make this an exchange if you want!! 💪 you may ignore the fact that my requests are listed as closed lol)

raven / 20s / any pronouns / slight preference for male match but gals are fine too.

personality traits (and notes): introverted (distant, disinterested in getting close to many people, does not get lonely), extremely independent (often refuses to rely on others, hates when people step in to help without me asking for help), confident (arrogant, a bit prideful), straightforward (blunt, sometimes tactless), even-tempered (somewhat apathetic, rarely has strong emotional reactions, but is baseline content almost always), good sense of humor, playful, teasing, mischievous, realist that leans optimistic, curious (nosey, loves gossip), a bit of a troublemaker/rulebreaker, does not shy away from conflict (a bit combative with authority and people who don’t know what they’re doing), not sentimental, does not hold onto regrets, good at self-reflection, cold and a little mean when upset with someone.

hobbies: drawing (digital), painting (watercolor, acrylic), baking, cosplay, reading, taking care of plants, thrill-seeking activities, traveling.

likes: cats, sweets, good food, lattes, aromatic candles, cool weather, traveling, piercings, tattoos, puns (!), lazy days, learning foreign languages, cleaning, new experiences, people with a good sense of humor (quite subjective), when people banter back with me, people who develop their own opinions but are still willing to listen to other perspectives.

dislikes: bitter foods, strong scents, pessimism, hot weather, feeling restricted, possessiveness, conformity, having to be responsible for others, when people don’t stand up for themselves, overly anxious people, people-pleasers, when people act condescending towards me, people who try to force conversation with me.

types: intj-a ; 7w8 ; love languages: physical touch, quality time.

misc.: clumsy ; accidentally misuses slang or phrases bc i can never remember how they go ; able to pick up new skills relatively quickly ; studied french, korean, and latin in uni (also studied abroad) ; majors in international cultures/languages + minors in psychology and medieval history ; prone to being a bit directionless in life ; prone to bad luck but tries to find the humor in most situations ; life approach: to live a life of varied experiences, to not take life too seriously, to not dwell too much on the past.

physical description: 155cm, green eyes, round youthful face, curvy, dimple on one cheek, pale skin (sunburns so easily...), 5 piercings in one ear, 4+an industrial in the other, navel piercing. changes hair color/style/length frequently but it's currently mid back length and toned silver, almost always has straight bangs, hair is wavy.

in bg3 persona: wood elf ; main class ranger (gloomstalker) w/ rogue-like tendencies ; the child of merchant parents and did a lot of traveling with them when she was young but has decided to explore and adventure by herself in adulthood ; not really the academic type but is pretty book smart and willing to learn new things ; equal parts strategic and careless, depending on the situation.

Omg hi and thx for the request! Sure I’d love to turn this into a trade and thank you for all the matchups you’ve done for me in the past!

Astarion!!!

Lowkey this was an easy decision. I feel like you couldn’t be a better match for anyone else, but him. You guys have similar personalities with just enough differences to bring the necessary variety to the relationship.

I feel like you guys would definitely bump heads when first meeting due to similar traits (prideful, apathetic, loner), but once you both begin to care more for your party members including each other than sparks start to fly!

You get close very quickly because it’s so easy to banter and bounce off each other.

At first he finds you optimistic and care free nature a bit annoying at first, but then begins to find is refreshing when times are bleak.

I feel like when Astarion’s trying to seduce you for your own goals and you aren’t falling for it, it’ll be the classic troupe of where person A gets every person to swoon over them except person B which makes them want person B even more.

However when he actually starts falling for you he does get nervous and start to back off a bit, but oh no you’re not letting him get away from you that easily.

Due to your knowledge in psychology you’re able to notice his self destructive behaviors and talk him out of it, but ultimately let him take the lead in figuring out what he wants in life.

Also because of your blunt nature you’re able to deliver the hard truths that he needs to hear without sugur coating things.

Even after your mindflayer worm adventures, you two continue to adventure for awhile. Sharing lots if experiences and fun on the road.

If you get yourself into a tough altercation with some people on the road, Astarion’s charisma helps defuse the situation.

Astarion is still working on his trauma so you’ll have to work up to physical touch with him, but once you do he really likes being held and playing with your hair. He also likes to trace your tattoos.

Astarion is also an introvert so he understands how you need to have alone time as much as he himself does. Although sometimes you guys will be in the same room doing your own things and count it as quality time. (Yknow like comfortable silence)

When you’re having a chill day on the road or once your adventuring days are over, you guys have lazy days together. You’ll cuddle and he’ll read to you. You guys may get a bit intimate but don’t necessarily have sex (not saying it never happens though).

You guys exchange elvish traditions (or what astarion can remember of them) and talk about the history of faerun together.

He gets you a lot of souvenirs on the road usually different snacks and foods for you to try with the occasional scented candle or new set of paints. He even gets you seeds of the local plant life for you to grow.

You guys would get a cat. So many people say astarion is a cat person and I whole heartedly agree.

He (loves) hates your puns. He cringes so hard every time you make one (but he finds your smug face very adorable).

Yknow that popular headcanon about how Astarion’s lover would paint a picture of him so he can finally see what he looks like. Well if you would do that as like a birthday or anniversary present and man would full on cry from happiness at the gesture.

He just loves you so much and is so grateful to finally have someone in his life to bring him joy again.

Sorry id this kind of sucks im writing this early in the morning cause I was inspired.

Runners Up: Lae’zel, Karlach

[animehouse-moe]

Skip and Loafer Episode 4: Tingling and Scraping

P.A Works and Skip and Loafer are doing it again, and again, and again. They continue to deliver interesting and unique direction and visuals that pile on a delightfully warm sense of comedy and friendship, and is complemented by thoughtful commentary and exploration of the most challenging aspects of being a high schooler. Today, that topic is regrets and expectations.

But who wants to start with the heavy stuff first, I like the cute and fluffy pieces too! Thanks to this episode's direction though, we get a lot of very beautiful scenery. There's a really strong focus that almost separates environment from characters, and lets you soak both up in copious amounts.

It's just so damn beautiful, but the characters can do a good job of distracting you from it. Take, for example, the use of CGI vehicles in the following scene. Unless you're looking at them they don't do anything other than populate the scenery, they just blend in so well with the lighting and color palette. To that end, I feel like P.A Works' use of CGI throughout the series so far has been really well managed. It fills up the layouts and adds life to the background of it all, but isn't enough where you're forced to look at it.

Anyways, moving on, the overall direction. I like it, it walks a fine line, but I like it. It's an episode that focuses far more on the internal pieces of characters so you get a good few close ups, but they do a good job of molding those pieces so that they fit within a "first person" perspective. It's very hard to explain, but basically the way they frame and block characters within a scene is to have viewers look through the eyes of a character, instead of the lens of a camera. It's a subtle piece, and I feel like they could do it better in some other areas, but there's quite a few pieces that stand out and really sell that first person feel.

Just simple things, like this scene of Mitsumi watching the old TV Drama that Shima-Kun acted in. The FoV is more stretched and there's the slightest visual effects to make sure viewers understand they're looking at a screen.

Or scenes like these pairs place us directly behind a character's line of sight (second image is a follow up cut that shows the pair in a single scene).

Stuff like this shows the strong awareness of today's episode director. Without these follow-up scenes, the direction (even though the initial scenes are still creative) can come off as typical or "standard", but the concept of that first person perspective is framed by seeing just how you saw the previous scenes. Really great work that's apparent through the episode.

Speaking of apparent through the episode, the comedy! I love that Takamatsu-sensei found a vehicle for their (non-deprecating) humor and ran with it. The adaptability of space, and its relation to Mitsumi is really felt in this episode. Thanks to that, I've got a newfound appreciation for the comedy and the sort of daydreaming aspect. It's so fluid and creative, and no matter what it finds its roots with Mitsumi which is really nice.

And just to round it out, the technical work on the speeds and movement of the background layers in this cut is so well done. Such a great mimicry of how it actually looks.

Alright, onto the story now! It's really lovely. I appreciate how it tackles the issues so much. It refuses to look at them as an issue that faces a single character, or one that characters can share, and instead brings the sentiment to a more macro scale and portrays it as something that every high school student deals with.

Shima-Kun has regrets, Mitsumi has regrets, Takamine has regrets, even characters like Kanechika are faced with regret and its challenges. And that's what this episode ends up all about, facing those expectations and staring down regret and what you might regret later down the road.

I feel like the above image really puts the whole episode into context quite well. What does it mean to have no regrets? When will you know if you'll regret something in the moment? They're questions without answers, and the curiosity possessed by the teenagers within the series does well to really sell it.

They don't have a real answer to it, nor can they quite put it into words, but instead they can experience it. They can understand how to live without regrets and how to find happiness in every corner in life. Like this scene of Takamine as she looks out the window of the bus

. She's regretting her decisions, she's beating herself up for losing and wasting time. But one little moment with Mitsumi wipes it all away, because the view was worth it. Such a simple thing as a landscape was enough to ease Takamine, and I think it's great. It's not the big moments that make that difference, it's the little ones you might not otherwise experience.

And god do I love how Takamine and Mitsumi are played off each other. They exist as polar opposites in the most important moments, and show how impactful each is on the other to strike a balance between the two lifestyles. Stuff like Takamine studying while Mitsumi eats candy and watches the scenery go by, just really simple pieces that establish that fundamental rift between the personalities of the two.

Surprisingly, something this simple is actually an incredibly important piece of symbolism that ties to an earlier conversation that Mitsumi had with Shima-Kun. Mitsumi used to have expectations and regrets weigh incredibly heavy on her, so bad that it was to the point that she wasn't eating while studying for exams. But one person was able to help carry that weight and let Mitsumi be free.

That's what's happening with Takamine and Mitsumi, an implicit conversation telling Takamine that it's okay to betray expectations and have regrets. That you can fail and not get into the middle school of your choice and still have a wonderful life. It's a really wonderful piece for reassuring people with their whole life ahead of them that they have just that. There's no rush to fill your schedule and do everything possible every waking moment to make sure you get to where you're going. It's all about the journey, or in this case, the bus ride.

And just to top it all off, Takamine really changes quite quickly. What's best about it though is that they show it as a subconscious change before they express it as a thought. They used to have nightmares about being left behind by the bus, but that gets replaced with a wonderful little dream sequence that takes Takamine through the stars.

It's just so... good. It does everything right and wonderful and bubbly and cute and sweet. It takes Takamine's desires and feelings as a high school girl and lays them bare to the viewer in what amounts to a fluff sequence.

And why you might ask? Well, like I said earlier it's a subconscious piece of Takamine, so there's lots of things within it. Take the cat, an amalgamation of the cat Mitsumi picked up earlier and Mitsumi herself. And then there's the idea of looking out the window of the bus at the scenery, and within that there's even paralells/similarities to how Takamine saw Mitsumi when she was looking out the bus.

Okay I promise to tie it off here. After her experience in her dream, we see her cutely mistake Mitsumi for the dream cat, before she follows it up with expressing to Mitsumi that she's not the girl that she thinks Mitsumi thinks she is. I think. But yeah, it's a great little scene that shows the confidence Takamine finds in herself from yesterday's experience to face today head on, and create a deeper relationship with Mitsumi in the process.

Even though we're already this far along I feel like there's a world of things to take in. Like how Shima-Kun speaks to expectations and how family bearing down on you can squash happiness and passion as you strive to live up to expectations and earn their affection. Or how thoughtful Mitsumi tries to be at times like not bringing up Shima-Kun's acting career to him. Or how Mitsumi's come to Tokyo to try and change a foundational issue with rural underpopulation in Japan (really, it's a pretty severe issue these days). It's such a diverse and deep story that you can hardly fit all of the good parts into one post. But you can summarize it with a single sentence.

Skip and Loafer continues to prove that it has incredible understanding and nuance in regards to high school life and how it affects students, depicting a wonderfully romanticized story that continues to stay close to the ground and provide important commentary and messages to viewers.

Though I guess that's more like a paragraph, isn't it?

[variousqueerthings]

You are the stupidest idiot ever! But I'm not going to let you die // In amongst seven billion, there's someone like you. That's why I put up with the rest of them.

OKAY! Pyramid at the end of the World +Lie Of The Land!

these are the last two that I didn't write notes for and it's been a hot second so probably have forgotten Some Stuff. that being said, they're... interesting. at some point there needs to be an analysis done of bill's season and why it does and doesn't work (mainly that I wish it had come sooner and/or been longer). BUT ANYWAY!

I put these episodes together, although the tonal shift is quite big in between, but it is one story that follows on from extremis. it's kinda Bill's "wandering the earth for a year six months" so obvs I'm going to compare it to Martha a little. they even used a bit of s3 music in there!

sexism rank objectification (female character is ogled/harassed/turned into a sex joke by the doctor and/or a lead we’re supposed to root for and/or the camera): 10/10

sexism rank plot-point (lead female character is only there to serve plot, not to have her emotional interiority explored, or given agency to her emotional interiority): 6/10

interesting complex or pointlessly complex (does the complexity serve the narrative or does it just serve to be confusing as a stand-in for smart, this includes visually): 5/10

furthers character and/or lore and/or plot development (broader question that ties into the previous ones, at least two of these, ideally three should be fulfilled): 6/10

companion matters (the companion doesn’t always have to be there, but if the companion is there, can they function without the doctor– and overall per season how often is the companion the focus or POV of the story): 7/10

the doctor is more than just “godlike” (examines the doctor’s flaws and limitations, doesn’t solve a plot by having it revolve entirely around the doctor’s existence): 8/10

doesn’t look down on previous doctor who (by erasing or mocking its importance, by redoing and “bettering” previous beloved plotpoints or characters, etc.): 6/10

isn’t trying to insert hamfisted sexiness (m*ffat famously talked a lot about how dw should be sexier multiple times, he sucks at writing it): 10/10

internal world has consistency (characters have backgrounds, feel rooted in a place with other people, generally feel like they have Lives): 6/10

Politics (how conservative is the story): 6/10

FULL RATING: 70/100 (if I can count….)

I gave this one a solid 70 out of 100. I think that's fair enough -- they're not necessarily my favourite stories (in fact I do kvetch about them a fair bit I think), but I do think they manage something M*ffat often struggles with, which is building a Big story that is also comprehensive and involves the companion in material ways

OBJECTIFICATION: listen, I do not remember. I think these episodes are free from this though.

PLOT-POINT: Bill technically does get to have feelings about things and these feelings do partially drive the plot -- she gets the Doctor's sight back, her feelings about her mother save the day, and she's very driven to save the world throughout (and her lovely self is what drives the Doctor to say today's second quote in the title, a sentiment that says a lot about who the Doctor is in this incarnation and the relationship between the two of them)

it doooes highlight how some of these things still suffer from M*ffat's penchant of just. throwing things at the wall in lieu of building a cohesive, deep thematic arc. the strongest part in my opinion is Bill getting the Doctor's sight back/saving the Doctor's life. I get why she feels this close to the Doctor at this point, what sort of a person she is that would take on this sacrifice, and how it drives the story

(I have mixed feelings about the Doctor being blind in the first place, it was never given any space in the story beyond being a narrative hindrance, and at the end of this it's simply fixed and never spoken about again. what was the point of having the Doctor be blind for about three episodes? but the bit where Bill finds out and saves him is good for me)

Bill's mother... doesn't have a name. it's the oddest oversight and leads to the incredibly silly line "Bill's mum... you've just gone viral." she's meant to be one of the core drivers of Bill's background, but it falls to pieces without a name, she's just a fridged mother without any personality --- also see me nitpicking, but this is the second companion in a row with a dead mother that should be at the center of who they are, but is sort of conveniently just there when needed. it was worse with Clara, because her mother was fully dropped from the storyline after s7, but it's... noticeable. at least Amy's parents came back from the dead (although were then never mentioned again). you can feel M*ffat tryyying to figure out those family relationship plots and being a different kind of bad at it with every companion

I still think Bill's is the best of these, simply because there are some bits and pieces of continuously acknowledging her mother's emotional presence in her life, but oof. it's tough being a no name dead mother character

also one thing I want to bring up that knocked this a full point was the Doctor and Nardole manipulating Bill into thinking the Doctor was on the side of the invading aliens to the point that she was going to shoot him dead (in her own head, she doesn't know about regeneration), and then completely brush it off afterwards. I think it's one of the crueller bits of writing from M*ffat and hearkens back to especially how he would write Sherlock. it very much undermines the development of Twelve as well, who's ostensibly learning to become kinder throughout his arc, and the Main thing is... if I'm going to compare this to Martha in s3 somewhat...

a. Bill is totally alone in remembering the events of the last six months, apart from the Doctor and pooossibly the handful of soldiers who were deprogrammed, from what I understand. this is not at all explored

b. Bill spends these six months trying to stay sane, and okay, so the Doctor is? isn't? held prisoner by the monks on this big ship, Nardole says he needed x amount of time to find him, but reaaally none of that makes a whole lotta sense the more one tries to break it down, and the bottom line is... there is no real point to Bill being there, other than the Doctor wanting her there. yes, the remembering her mother does become important later on, but that's not initially the plan, the plan is to just ask the Master what to do from the sounds of it, and I'm mainly just very very confused about the whole opening section of this plot. it's not well-written in that classic M*ffat way that makes it seem polished on the surface, but is full of holes that get waved away... and it's all, from what I can tell, in service of this big reveal that the Doctor was actually never on the side of the monks, because that whole section is cool

it's not really about Bill at all, as is obvious when we move past it immediately into "and then the Doctor continues to be cool"

(the stuff with the Master then gives us more pathos, but the opening is... bad)

... I could write a whole lot more about it tbh, but I'm not going to, it was stupid on several levels, took away

COMPLEXITY: a lot of this is over-the-top M*ffat nonsense, especially in pyramids of mars, where we mostly eschew your everyday perspective in order to focus on generals and world leaders or whatever. we do though have a (in my opinion) fun little tense counterpoint with two scientists who due to a series of little errors almost destroy the world. I actually do have questions about that though, in terms of what the heck was extremis for as a plot, if the invasion plan was to create a series of coincidences (I guess they have some reality controlling powers considering as well how they shift historical perceptions, but it's not explored all that much -- I'd say they fit well in the rtd2 upcoming era about gods and myths, but I don't have that much interest in seeing them again tbh) and then emotionally manipulate someone into handing over the world (my point isn't that this plan doesn't make sense in a Doctor Who way, my point is that extremis makes no sense)

questions questions. also oooh there were ways of recentering this on Bill, because apparently if Bill dies then the monks might be defeated. so why in the world do they just let her run around like she does? I mean, there's some real fucked up fun potential in all of this, surely Bill should be waaay more at the core of this plot than she is, she's key to their survival on this planet, and having just reread the transcipt, the Master has a throwaway line that says if they're booted off the planet due to the link (Bill) dying, they just chalk it up to experience... but there could have been more than that. more than just "eh, they're not that bothered one way or another"

bored aliens with (comparatively) godlike powers toying with earth is a good story, but it's not, in my opinion, this story. in this story it makes them seem less consequential, their motives even more opaque than they already were, and Bill's journey through the story meaningless -- again, to compare to the Jones Family Experience, the fact that they're the only ones to remember the events of the year of hell is one huge part of the trauma. they're glad the earth was healed, but they will always have the memories. Bill, by contrast, isn't given the space to rage against everything happening here, she just sadly accepts it, and maybe that's who she is. maybe that's the six months spent in it all. but I don't think it's well enough explored from her perspective in the text to really say

I think I'm rambling a bit, but it's something about Bill as sacrificial lamb, and it's going to come up again, I know, I know the ending of this season, I just don't remember how it's written. we shall see! but from a character pov I want more -- well, I want less of the Big Important Quick Moving Plots That Leave You Spinning And Going "hold on did that make sense?" and more character-centric narrative in this, but ah well

it's not the worst of these, I'm just kind of digging into what's missing. Bill is still fantastic to me, even if her mum isn't allowed to have a name, and generally she does have more grounding and things to do than either Amy or Clara, but there's a niggling feeling the whole way through -- this is the last season, so Bill is defining that ending, she's got to carry a whole lot after 5 previous seasons of very messy storytelling, she's a very different character to pretty much every M*ffat female character, so it's like there's a hit or miss with the story that I really wish there wasn't, because it's the last flipping season and you would have thought some of these basic narrative things were things a showrunner for one of the most high profile tv shows in the world knew how to do, but it seems like he's only just learning the ropes now

and he still overly relies on montages

actually the real issue with this three-parter was the pacing. the pacing was atrocious

CHARACTERS/LORE/PLOT: we get a whole bunch of the Master in this one, which I think is great of course

it does contrast how I don't think Bill has changed all that much from extremis to now, because the Master is in... two scenes? and comes so far. although, to be fair, the Master technically has been in scenes since 1970 so there's a whole lotta foundations there

but yeah, the Master stuff to me is always satisfying

and of course Bill has now met the Master, which is exciting!

COMPANIONS MATTER: I do think Bill matters in this. she makes decisions absent of the Doctor that massively drive the plot, the main three of which are "gets the Doctor his sight back, thereby saving his life," "keeps her sanity/memories of reality completely on her own," (seriously that seems to be nigh-impossible and she never stumbles) and "puts herself in the brain-mincing machine and wins"

one in several billion indeed

“GODLIKE” DOCTOR: mmmmm not so much in the first one, and technically Bill saves the day in both of them. he's a bit of a dick though, is my main thing about the Doctor in all of this. I actually just think he's oddly underwritten/out of focus? which is rare in M*ffat, usually the companion suffers this

he comes most into focus again during the Master scenes and during the end-sequence, but yeah. it made me realise that the Doctor really should have been properly helpless and Bill should have saved him from the monks/driven the plot even more, because it felt like the Doctor was smushed in there a bit to be a bit Doctor-y but then was kind of pointless

now makes me think of this alt plot: Bill remembers the vault from when she came across it in the first episode, and sneaks in periodically to try and get into it/speak with whatever creature is clearly on the other side. make this less than six months, because that was nuts. she gets in, meets the Master and it's really a Bill and the Master episode, akin to s9ep2 with Clara, except this time the Master is claiming to have become good, honest (Bill makes some deductions about why the Doctor might be keeping her in there, idk, but also can't get her out anyway) and you're left to wonder whether the Master would sacrifice Bill to save the day/the Doctor... again, like Clara

and so she helps Bill save the Doctor and get to the lair, and Bill already knows about the dying, which of course, the Master trying to kill Clara was a massive point of division between the Master/the Doctor, and this feels like that .2 except the Master swears this was all to save the world, etcetc...

and Nardole dies early on or smthin

PREVIOUS DOCTOR WHO: I cannot remember, but I think not really anything + the callback to s3 makes you go "ah yeah, but s3 had a thematic throughline that led to Martha wandering the earth for a year and then leaving the Tardis, because it was all a fucking mess, while these episodes don't really take Bill in a new direction, from what I can tell + are just sort of plonked in the middle of the season"

“SEXINESS”: listen, considering the Master is in this and I'd even allow some silly lines from the Master (and we do get "that's Spanish for hot!" although that's technically related to them playing the game "hot or cold") we're remarkably free from all this nonsense

INTERNAL WORLD: I think the first episode is more of a mess than the second. the second is meant to be incompatible with reality upon close inspection, it's a flawed reality-bending tool using the brain of one woman, but the first one with the pyramid and president of earth making a reappearance, that was more suspect to me

POLITICS: I liked the casting of the main scientist in the first episode, she was cool and fun to watch -- I kind of wish she'd been in the second one too, to give it more throughline. after all she was also at the eye of the storm, I was sort of missing her. but yeah, I enjoyed some diverse casting practice in the first place

the whole "we've got prison camps now" bit was a bit surface-level nothing. I don't think it was even meant to be anything other than "see the monks are baaad" dystopian type stuff 1-0-1 but I think one can do more with that than this episode did

generally, again, I dislike whenever Doctor Who makes things too disconnected from ordinary people and gives the focus to "the important people" (and it's not just M*ffat who does this, but he did introduce the president of the world stupidity). it's not a show I watch for idk presidents and generals and armies (unless it's a story about that in some deliberate way -- not as set dressing!) and it takes away any thematic weight -- in the end the monks are gone again and... nobody was harmed? weren't people potentially killed? didn't they literally build camps and have people in them? what happened to that scientist who almost destroyed the world?

ungrounded, on the whole, but not offensive, except for the fuckn "let's manipulate Bill" part of it

FULL RATING: 70/100 (if I can count….)

I don't know if I'm nitpicking with these two, mostly because they just didn't speak to me much on an emotional level. they're perfectly serviceable on the whole, avoiding some of the more egregious mistakes of M*ffat-era, but they're a bit hollow to me

I very much enjoyed the Master parts (shocker), and Bill's competency, but it does on the whole feel like a lot of set dressing that was missing a bit of spark

[aller-geez]

Get to know: Alistar Satanos

(owned by @thekinkyleopard )

2000 (20) // Male He/Him // Pansexual // Anti-Christ Dragon Shifter

Full name: Abaddon Alistar Satanos

Nickname: Al

Date Of Birth: August 6th

Big Three: Leo 🌞 Leo 🌝 Scorpio ↗️

Physical Appearance —

Age: 2000 looks 25

Eye Color: Ruby

Hair Color: Crimson

Weight: 143

Height: 6’3

Race: Anti-Christ

Distinguishing Marks or Characteristics: he has a leviathan cross under one eye and 666 under the other, he has short elvish ears, snake bites and a septum. He also has a blacked out neck, and hands with flames coming up his wrists, and despite being advised against it, wears his horns out. Tells humans they’re implants.

Personality —

Greatest Strength: His Charm and Charisma

Greatest Weakness: Lacks impulse control

Soft Spot: Kanai

Mannerisms: Calculated, he often makes intense eye contact and stands too close, he doesn’t understand personal space.

Miscellaneous Trivia —

Alistar has other siblings, but they are all so serious, he hates that. There’s always been a jokester that lives inside him. He would often skip familial bonding and go hang out with Kanai. Together they’d get into mischief, and all around chaos. The more time he spent with Kanai he realized it was so much nicer to be around another being that allowed him to be exactly as he is. While his father wanted to control him, and his siblings wanted to change him, Kanai just wanted to have a good time with him.

Alistar hates humans. He thinks often, they’re disgusting and weren’t worth the war between his father and grandfather. Trivial to waste energy on such pointless creatures. He’s prejudice you could say, and often will use his charm and manipulation to furtherly prove his point. Humans are impressionable meat sacks that’ll always bend to the will of greed and selflessness, over the good of all. He does not share this sentiment for human hybrids though.

Alistar was born to a human woman, and thought was raised to believe she was nothing more than a vessel that brought him here, can’t help but feel curious. Though disgusted he shares a point of being human, maybe that’s where his internal disdain comes from. Truthfully, he believes he deserved a regular life, with a regular family, as a regular little boy. Yet, he would never have that. For his father is Satan, and nothing can change the evil that pumps in his DNA.

Sneeze Content —

ALLERGIES

Alistar lucked out and received a human vessel that does not experience allergies. He can however, induce.

How severe are they?

N/A

Do they get sick often?

Alistar can’t get sick easily, but he CAN contract someone else’s cold if he tries really hard. Exposed enough, he can fall ill. Though it only lasts upwards to 3 days.

How bad is it usually?

When he gets sick, it’s…weird. He’s overtly sexualizing himself, and his caretakers. He /likes/ being sick. Loves it actually. Despite how terrible it makes him feel, Al is a masochist. Also a sadist. So often times he will try to bring anyone and everyone down with him so he can relish in a symphony of sick and sneeze.

Do they stifle?

Nope. When Alistar actually sneezes it’s outward, proud and confident. There’s no hesitation in it

How loud are their sneezes?

Not obnoxious loud, but they can vary in volume.

What do they sneeze into?

Anything. Mostly sneezes outright, but his real pleasure is to sneeze onto others.

How often do they sneeze?

Almost never unless induced or he succeeds in catching a cold.

How many times do they sneeze in a fit?

2-3 It’s hard to get them out of him but he tries

Do they have build-ups or are they sudden?

Both. It depends on how he’s induced.

Do they sneeze in public?

Yes, he finds it extremely erotic, arousing and entertaining.

Some examples of their sneezes?

HEhH’eEZSCHhh’iiEW

HEHH’DZSCHh’iEEw!

hHEH’TZSCHh’UE!

hih’AESSSHH’ue!!

Hhah’AETTTSHH’uh!

Backstory —

Alistar Satanos, named Abaddon Alistar Satanos by his father, was born in the human world to his mortal mother, Malia, who was murdered when the demons came to collect him and bring him to hell for his father, Satan. Satan went about impregnating easily impressionable women (he can possess people who are willing, and then get mortal women pregnant so long as the bodies are fertile but will still be Satan’s seed, however when possessing, holds no other ability to use his powers on earth) to create a coven of anti-Christ children that he would personally train and send out on Earth, to do what he cannot, due to being physically banished. After arriving in Hell as an infant, he started to progressively grow and age at a much faster rate. Reaching full maturity (20 in human years) in just 10 years. Thus began his training and conditioning. During his off time in hell, when he wasn’t a servant to his father’s master plan, he’d hang out at the gates of hell to kick the shit with Kanai, Cerberus’s son. Quickly realizing there was an intelligence gap between the two, Al used that to his advantage somedays to bring forth entertainment for himself. May that be pranking fellow demons or souls, creating traps or gags. Though Kanai often seemed obtuse to Al, he knew who the demon was. And despite their differences, Alistar didn’t treat him with disrespect. They both found solidarity in their respect for one another, taking the other as they came. For 2000 years his life was simple. However, the time came to go out into the field as he was destined to do. Being sent to earth, Alistar finally felt a sense of freedom, finally a life away from his obnoxious father. Seeing as his dad can only send him to earth and not back to hell, he was almost free to do what he pleased, so long as dad never finds out he’s not following protocol and send the guardians after him. Thus began Al’s downward spiral into humanity. Though he hated them relentlessly (their existence created his existence and he hates that for himself) he was just like them. Impulsively doing drugs, partying, controlling the minds of weak mortals and making them dance for him. The bright side to being besties with the guardians of hell’s gates is that every time he was killed off, he could simply be brought back without his father’s knowledge using a simple stone, all hell hounds get one. He borrows Kanai’s regularly. He was supposed to go to his father everytime he died, but could not face him in failure, and neither could he explain himself. However, upon resurrection he was back to his old tricks. He especially found a much more fun, but cruel way to get his kicks. He likes to give hope and promise to unsuspecting down and out addicts, only to crush it and make them feel their only way out is a deal. With HIM. Selling weakened souls, typically homeless and addicted, under his name. He was going to go toe to toe with his father in the soul department. Yet, when he happens about a down and out young trans woman, he finds himself almost awakening. Al meets Connie during a terribly traumatizing moment in her life. Truly rock bottom. Something about her was different, her perseverance in life despite what is thrown at her, draws inspiration within the demon. He brings her home, gets her clean and then promptly starts providing for her. Though his time living with her proved that Al could be capable of kindness, empathy and compassion, it was too much and he wound up getting her a studio in downtown NYC, paying for all her bills and necessities. Allowing her to grow and feel safe, but truly to keep himself safe from possibly caring too closely about someone from this plane. Yet, he couldn’t be freed with that. Knowing she was alone. So he found out she had family he could reunite her with them, and that’s what he will do in order to get back to living selfishly.

Reference Sheet —

[mserm]

CW internalized homophobia

New Ults bbTony, a few missions in as an Ultimate, going out the bars the moment he hits 21, hunting for big beefy blond men who will actually touch and fuck him, rather then letting their hang ups tease and frustrate by looking at him so lustfully, then leave him with blue balls and his ears ringing with slurs rather then manning up and following thru

Ults Steve shivering in repressed disgust (the disgust is open, the repression is the cause) as he wades thru the undulating bodies of men in the club, hunting for and then dragging out his prize, an inebriated young man- no boy, no matter that he’s an adult nor that he tries to seem worldly he's got the looks and naïveté of a boy, freeing him from the clutches of a hulking brute with straw yellow hair and a predator's gaze

(like looking into a mirror darkly, seeing what he could become if he succumbs to the disease of the soul and mind, that he would be someone that hurts and preys on Tony rather then having the strength to save him from himself and this affliction they share)

Tony bristles and hisses, arguing and fighting Steve as he pulls him out, saying cruel and crude things, glaring at Steve with his big, beautiful eyes that soften with a mixture of understanding, pity and lingering anger. Those sentiments carrying over to the words, as Tony drips honey into the insults, tempts Steve to accept sin by calling it love, calling it natural, beautiful, liberating. That Tony understands and is trying to let Steve adjust and let him figure it out on his own time, but Steve can’t keep doing this to Tony he CAN'T.

“Do what? Save you, save us both?” Steve wants to know. “Yeah that”, Tony replies, “stop saving me and stop being so close and yet so far, either commit and fuck me or let me find someone that will, that won’t shudder at the sight of me and flinch away from my touch after hungering for it. Take me yourself or let me go”, says Tony

“You don't understand, you're too young,” mumbles Steve. “You're like 4 years older then me technically,” Tony grumbles. “Compared to what I've seen and done…” Steve starts but Tony interrupts, “besides am I not old enough to strap myself to a death machine and fight and maybe by your side? Am I then not old enough to decide to damn myself to hell if I choose to in you eyes?” Steve looks one last time at Tony's beautiful, big eyes, the eyeliner smudge by that brute's meaty fingers clawing at his pretty, pretty face, “ you are free to ruin yourself however you want,” Steve finally whispers, “but it won’t be at my hands, I won’t be the one that drags you into hell, I can’t do that to you.” Said hands finally drop away from Tony's smaller, fragile (yet strong, so strong) and warm, so warm, body and Steve walks away into the cold night alone, feeling twice damned

You can't see it but I'm providing a standing ovation.

[spiderwarden]

She transforms into her mother. Into her daughter. Into her former goddess herself as she paces circles around Minthara. Any creature she may've felt any affection to, any loyalty towards, any sentiment of care. Orin could give her anything she wanted, be anything she wanted - but that was not her role. It was this paladin's role to do for her. Orin can givith and Orin can taketh away. The satisfaction warms her belly and rises in her chest as she watches those beads of sweat slowly trickle down her drows cheekbone. Her body is steel .. but even she holds fear. It's Orin's vision to find that fear, weaponize it, and slowly chip away at the sanity of those caught in her claws until they are nothing left. This is how she pleases Bhaal. That is how she serves. Wearing Lolth's skin, Minthara's face is snatched in her grasp, forcing her close so her eyes can burn nowhere else but directly into hers. "Who do you worship?"

Nature has her standing straighter the moment she recognized her mother; a respect given when she had looked up on the House Matron that had her hands folding behind her back. But such a high regard was briefly mixed with confusion until she realizes who she was looking upon - Orin - Bhaal's blood. Then her stance shifted immediately from familial respect to tactical. A soldier, ready for battle - even as a her mental state reeled against the command inside of her head. Obey. Minthara inhales, eyes shifting forward. Do Not Resist. Yes. Praise be.

But then she changes again - a much smaller form and now her eyes dart to Orin. Recognizing immediately the small child inspires alarm in her - this was a face shes did not expect to see again. A face she pushed away for the sake of a new prospect - a new worship, and here she was. Staring at her daughter - then her Priestess of House Vandree, and despite her previous fortitude she knew felt herself shaken. Unnerved as her eyes turn down as Orin circled her, searching, prying for a crack in the armor. Truly this had to be a test. A test of faith - she must stay strong. She must - Lolth preserve her.

The very God she had been raised in now stood before her and Minthara head dips fully - brow flinching when she did not dare to look upon her face. She was being made to face her folly, for how could she so easily mimic the Spider Queen. So easily mocked by Bhaal, the God of Murder. Trepidation crawls through her skin like spiders dancing across her flesh; displeasure as the last of her will tied to her home snaps like web sliced from their cove. Severed, successfully torn asunder the second Orin ripped her head back up to her.

Reserve is shattered with her widening red eyes and flaring nostrils, the sweat riddled brow twitching with the press of her lips. Yes. This was a test; this was a test of faith. Minthara's lips twitch before her hand closes around hers - a daring touch she knew she would suffer for later. But Minthara swore to herself she would pass this test. Here she grips her hand just enough so she could dip her head again to press her lips into the palm of Orin's hand. She wore the skin of her former Spider Queen, but she knew that beneath the surface she was hers. She was her God, her Absolute, her Orin.

"You." She speaks in her hand, holding her eye, her answer of worship to the woman in red. "Praise the Absolute, in your name."

@beautykill / ..... *screaming internally*

[dragxnborn]

ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴɪᴠᴇʀsᴇ ᴊᴜsᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇs ᴘʀᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ, ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ ɪᴛ? whoops! hi guys this is helia again ;u; back here to introduce to you all HWA YUL .

  : ̗̀➛   thirty-one years young , a firebender and lightningbenderfrom the noble house of hwa. many know them to be unethical . how unfortunate , truly … i’ve always found them to be resourceful . they oft fulfill the duties of a gamemaster, though i expect them to be present at the 25th agni kai as a spectator . well , you know how every storyteller bends the tale they tell . 

please see the below for his tldr, (his background and behind the scenes are pretty dark but interaction wise he won't really be?)

tw: for the life of me i cant think of the proper tag but it's kind of dark. nothing explicitly written but the concept and idea

BACKGROUND

yul has two very extreme reputations within the community and society depending on where one falls. some regard his ability to continue being a gamemaster after the deaths of his sibling as chilling in an enticing way. others regard his choice to continue administering games as a wretched betrayal to the family that had opened their arms to adopt him as their own considering his circumstances

yul had been adopted by the hwa family out of sentiment and friendship (from the former second lady) following the mysterious death of his parents, who had served the hwa family for a majority of their life

however, during his 18th birthday, yul faces the true reality that he's nothing more than a surrogate for the hwa family's other children to serve as a tribute

before he turns 21 for the year the agni kai is meant to be hosted, he does everything in his power to find a way out of being forced to become a tribute. somehow, he manages to get taken under the wing of a well known gamemaster and that's when the trajectory of his life begins to change

at 21, yul is saved from the agni kai after being chosen to join the gamemasters and his sibling is then forced to become the hwa family's tribute instead. on one hand, being a gamemaster is the one way that yul is able to continue saving himself from becoming a tribute. on the other, yul is forced to orchestrate the conditions in which his siblings will die in for each tournament that follows.

etc. uses hwa yul and yul interchangeably ( the latter more with those he's close with )

PERSONALITY

the type that people love to hate and hate to love

it's been ten years that yul has been in the field of working as a game master. he's perfected the front he puts on to the world as a known gamemaster. confident and unbothered.

yul's nonchalance and the weight of truth in everything about his life may rub people the wrong way. this isn't something he does directly or on purpose to egg people on. (it's really just a defense mechanism atp to not breakdown).

pretty tortured actually internally. there's literally no one else on the whole wide world that yul hates more than himself and it's hard living with his conscience. but his goal has always been to live to see another day, so he makes do.

PLOTS

few people know that yul has suffered from harsh sleeping conditions. even fewer know that it's the endless deaths he's caused that haunt him in his dreams every night — especially those of his siblings. tell me, how do you put together a broken man ? ( someone very close )

people don't know the things that yul does behind the scenes to pay tribute to lost ones. he does a lot of unknown things in anonymity. it should be enough for him, but it isn't. so when you curse him and beat him, he lets you. ( someone in pain )

it's rare for yul to let his guard down. but under the influence of the moon and sweet wine, yul lets slip the insinuation that his life isn't as grand as it seems. his standing with the hwa family only remains because lord hwa hopes he'll be chained to his dirty deeds for the rest of his life. ( maybe a stranger )

people who blame him for the deaths of their siblings/family members

tributes/mentors? ( how do you feel about him? )

friends (maybe those who just try to get on his good side to get an in on the tournament, or actual genuine ones?)

[aeoki]

Primavera - Quiet Spring: Chapter 4

Location: Seisou Hall (Eichi, Rei & Aira’s Room) Characters: Eichi & Aira

Aira: Thank you for the food! The chocolate was delicious!

The sweet chocolate and the bitterness of the Darjeeling tea balance each other out and a lovely melody from the pairing is created… It truly feels like something created at the hands of a heavenly conductor!

It was a hospitality that could’ve only come from you, Tenshouin-senpai ♪

Just kidding~ Maybe it’s because I’m an idol otaku so I tend to overexaggerate the good things. Sorry for pretending like I’m a know-it-all!

Eichi: Hehe. With an abundant fountain of vocabulary, you can express your feelings in a detailed manner. I think it’s a good thing.

I know a lot of people who are stubborn and aren’t very honest with themselves, despite being quite clever, so I strongly feel that it’s a good trait to have.

Especially at times like this, it might be better if I also denied that.

I pretend to be the perfect individual who is capable of anything, but to be honest… behind the scenes, I’m actually quite reckless.

The reason why I was lying down on the bed earlier was most likely because I was tired.

Aira: Really?

Eichi: I was putting on a strong front as best as I could. Before I entered the room, I could barely manage to stand with just my spine alone. Maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, though.

There aren’t that many people who would accept it when I whine.

I may be blessed to be raised in a good environment and to also be more resourceful than most… but I’ve now landed myself a punishment that I should be thankful for.

Aira: I see… So you do have things you worry and think about, Tenshouin-senpai.

I feel a bit sorry for always being on the receiving end.

You gave me sweets and tea and they say you feel better when you donate your money. I would be happy if you can let me repay your kindness.

Eichi: The sentiment is more than enough. I served you the sweets and tea because there was someone I wanted to serve them to.

Besides, I’m sure you’ll be scared stiff if you found out how much they cost.

Aira: Hmm. I can’t say anything back when you put it that way… I’d end up in debt, huh.

Eichi: Yeah. So just let your upperclassman show you his cool side.

If you really want to repay me, I’d appreciate it if you could wash the tea set and put it away.

Aira: ………! Please let me do that!

Eichi: Thank you, Shiratori-kun. You’re quite conscientious.

Aira: No, no. Anyone would do so! I’ll be using the sink for a bit ♪

Eichi: Hehe. I can’t thank you enough. I’ll be more than happy to just be on the giving side but no – I’d still like to do so even if I had to pay them.

Especially to such adorable underclassmen.

…Alright. We’ve had our break so I’ve got to come up with something for my underclassman’s issue.

(The confectionery company that has helped out with “Chocolat Fest” is waiting for the situation to go back to normal too.)

(It’s not that different from us who are hoping for them to start supplying us with sweets again.)

(Which means it may be a good idea to talk to the international trade companies. I’ll be able to gain information, find out what the situation is like and maybe even get wind of when the conflict settles down.)

(As for the main outline for “Chocolat Fest”, it’s not time for me to act just yet.)

(Surely, if I were to suggest a specific alternative at this point in time, the people around me would start moving to make that a reality.)

(But I can’t have that. Even if someone like me with power and money becomes happy, there’ll be organisations and people who will suffer the consequences.)

(During “Tempest Fest”, a florist acquainted with Yuzuru faced the impact of the ES’ establishment and fell apart…)

(This time, I need to pay close attention like before.)

(For example, the new units haven’t experienced “Chocolat Fest” before.)

(It would be nothing short of cruel to push the sweets issue onto them.)

(Shiratori-kun and his unit aren’t an exception, either.)

Aira: I’m all finished. Tenshouin-senpai?

Ah, you’ve got another strange look on your face. Are you thinking about something again?

Eichi: Hehe. Just a continuation of before. I was thinking about this and that regarding next year’s “Chocolat Fest”.

What can I do to convey those feelings of love? It tires my head to think about next year’s affairs at this moment in time.

Shiratori-kun, do you plan on taking part in it next year as “ALKALOID”?

Aira: Yes! Of course, I do! “Chocolat Fest” is a must when it comes to idol events ♪

I don’t know if I can do a good job like the upperclassmen, but I’d like to give love in my own way ♪

Eichi: How enthusiastic of you. You’re more than welcome to take part.

I’d like Valentine’s Day to be an event open to everyone. Limiting how much love one can give and receive… I hope something like that can only be left to the aristocracy.

← Previous Chapter ᠂ ⚘ ˚⊹˚ ⚘ ᠂  Next Chapter →

[gingersnappe-9]

In a Crowd of Thousands: Feelings, Nothing More (9)

Din Djarin/Mando X Fem!OC ; Star Wars/The Mandalorian Universe

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2.2K words

Time was of the essence, Fett knew that. The opportunity to introduce Ava to Leia Organa grew slimmer and slimmer. She would only remain on-world for a short while longer. With each passing day, Fett grew restless, especially since they had agreed to remain as Skywalkers guests. More than anything, he despised standing idol. The house was nice, he would admit that, but Fett was a man of action. He found himself pacing around the house while left to his own devices. His two biggest responsibilities were momentarily relieved and passed unto their host. From the day they arrived, Skywalker had taken to training young Ava and Grogu, assuring him that they would receive the proper training to learn to control their powers, and their emotions. 

Fett would never say it out loud but learning the pair of his wards were force users did not entirely shock him. He had been around long enough to have seen the height of the Jedi council, and to watch it fall. He knew what these beings were capable of; the good, and the bad. With the confirmation of their gifts, the small things Fett paid no mind to made all the more sense. 

The way Grogu managed to get in and out of the most peculiar places; notably, the small hammock that Mando once had set up in his sleeper that the child was not nearly tall enough to haul himself up into alone… or so he had once thought. Fett recalled watching Ava repair the Crest back in the Outer Rim. The tools seemed to float in and out of her hand, whether she was aware of it or not. He saw it in the way Ava looked at Grogu. It was with the same silent gaze of understanding that Skywalker used when he looked at them. An internal knowing. A togetherness or unity. Perhaps a hive-mind of sorts. It still gave Fett the smallest case of the shivers. 

But something else was nagging at the corners of his mind. Another was acting differently. Most certainly out of character, which was alarming given the man had the staunchest sense of repetition and order that Fett had ever seen outside of a military man. 

Mando stuck much closer to Ava ever since she temporarily disappeared on their water crossing. Hell, he followed her like a lost pup. He stood outside the doors to the courtyard, close enough to be of assistance the moment it was needed, yet held at a distance as to not disturb. And though the younger Mandalorian tried to hide it, or maintain some level of discretion, Fett saw the way his visor-line followed the sway of her body. How he would let his hand brush against the girl’s knuckles as he walked past. And Fett noted how Ava returned these gestures in kind. Saying his name when she spoke to him. Watching him move with the same intensity as a predator stalking her prey. And the moment anyone came into their field of consciousness, those flashes disappeared as quickly as stars burned entering an atmosphere.

The older man had succumbed to those same internal desires once or twice. Stars, those lingering sentimentalities were what enabled them to fly off Dressel as quickly as they had. But he knew the costs all too well. The severity of space, the creed of a Mandalorian as devout as his younger partner, was not one so easily changed. It was dangerous for everyone involved. It was one of those same moments. 

Fett found Mando standing with his back pressed against the hallway to the courtyard. It was the early afternoon, Ava and Grogu would be with Luke. Mando, still very much Mando, posted himself without fail in his full set of armor, and blaster neatly holstered. The older man let out a sigh. 

“Mando, I doubt anyone would be crazy enough to knowingly enter the house of a jedi, let alone the sibling to the most important diplomat on this side of the quadrant.” 

“That’s exactly why.” 

“How you do ramble on, don't you?”  Fett tried to lighten Mando’s mood. It obviously failed. “Well, be that as it may. It wouldn’t be a bad thing for you to be on your guard.” 

The younger of the two actually turned his head to look Fett head on. He saw his partner with a small pack at his side, helmet underarm. 

“You going somewhere?” 

“As a matter of fact, yes. We’re down to our last credits and once this job is over we’re going to need fuel and supplies. The Slave-1 is larger than the Crest and we’re going to need to maintain her.” 

Mando stood quietly, his stance not giving much of anything away, until he spoke. “When the job is over.” It sounded almost like a question. 

“Yes. And until I return the girl and the child are your responsibility. I trust you will keep them safe and out of trouble.” Fett made an effort to emphasize his last words, which clearly hit the mark. Mando’s shoulders hitched as he adjusted his position against the wall. A pebble shifting the weight of the mountain. However mature Fett’s partner was, the man was still young. And though he didn’t know much about Mando’s past, he knew it wasn’t easy. Foundlings were usually plucked from scenes of tragedy and dismay. 

Out of nowhere, the Mandalorians heard laughter. Mando’s head whipped to face the sealed courtyard door. It was Ava. It cut through the silence with ease. It came from a place of genuine joy. It wasn’t something either of the men came across in their line of work. The roar of anger and violence were the sounds they were accustomed to. The girl’s laughter was like light. Fresh air. Admittedly, it made Fett happy and sorrowful. 

Fett’s voice was low , “It can’t be like this forever. She will leave. And that will be the end.” 

He tried his best to remember whatever happened to her after they parted would be none of his business. That was not the job… So why did it bother him so much?

The older Mandalorian made his way towards the front of the house, only pausing to look back at Mando who’s gaze remained glued at the door where the laughter had come from. He looked like a statue, one of their bounties frozen in carbonite. It struck Fett in that moment that things were getting too complicated. He was growing soft in his older age. 

He said his goodbyes and beamed Mando the coordinates of his flight plans and planet stops to his vambrace. No response. 

Looking back, Boba Fett realized he should have never let the two of them dance. 

Din couldn’t get himself to stop thinking. Thoughts and images kept floating in and out of his mind. It was becoming irritating, especially since most of them revolved around her. His now sole responsibility whilst Fett took off. He wanted to be annoyed with his partner. He wanted to be furious. Trying to convince himself it was a punishment, a test, simply something was even more irksome than listening to bounties beg, plead, and attempt to negotiate their way out of capture. But he couldn’t, not because of Ava, or Fett for that matter. This whole conundrum Din found himself was nothing but his own doing; including lurking outside the courtyard waiting for Ava and Grogu to finish whatever Jedi-sorcerer-training Skywalker was putting them through. 

He forced himself to walk away. Who was he becoming? Din was never emotional. Never out of focus or step. Yet he found himself stumbling and distracted, and all because of a girl. 

But she wasn’t just some girl. She was more than that. He tried his hardest to fight it, but the more time Din spent with her, the more he realized how good it felt to be near someone. To know she fiddled with the hem of her shirt when she was nervous. Having the privilege of being her comfort in a moment of panic. Holding her as she fell asleep. Memorizing the turn of her smile, the waves in her hair. Din knew her eyes were umber, deep and warm – They shone like a translucent stone with flecks of chestnut and hazel when the sun hit them just so – Everything he was taught felt like a contradiction. The Way was absolute, unyielding as gravity, steadfast and indisputable. And yet, he had used a loophole. He had removed his helm in her presence, willingly. And what worried Din the most was he would do it again. Over and over if it was for her. 

Instead of brooding, lurking was what it felt like, Din made himself do a sweep of the house. 

He knew where every window was, which was the doors faced, how many stairs there were, the square footage. The arithmetic and strategy of knowing his surroundings gave him temporary relief to his new infatuation. He did his best to take his time. Make sure he knew what kinds of locks were on each sill. The shifts and duties of the three staff members – a cook, housekeeper, and gardener – and their backgrounds. After checking the usual wanted data-bases, nothing came up. Curious, Din tried to find more information about this Skywalker character. He settled in the den, just off the hallway from the kitchen that shared a wall with the courtyard – a total coincidence.

Little to nothing came up, and whatever he could manage to dredge up usually involved his sister. Din spent a bit of time studying Leia instead. The woman was accomplished, a Rebellion leader, a respected diplomat and politician. A leader with a mind of her own, and more than enough sense to use it wisely and decisively. She and Ava were truly cut from the same cloth. Even from what he’d observed of Skywalker. There was something about them that set the three above the rest. 

No sooner did the thought of the three did Din realize that Ava could potentially have a whole family. Older siblings. People to look after her, to care about her in every way possible. Such a rare and tender thing. It had been a long time since Din could say that he had been cared for like that. They would love her like no other. But… 

I love… 

Before the thought could finish itself, the door to the courtyard slid open. She walked out in what appeared to be loose fitting cotton. Breathable and easy to move in. Her chest rose in deeper breaths, across her brow, a light sheen of sweat. She was advancing in her training with Luke who followed carrying Grogu. She seemed happy. They both did.  And Din’s heart wilted. 

He knew deep down that The Way, his way of life, was no place for her or the child. So he did what Din knew how to do best, he squared his shoulders and leaned into his appearance: the Mandalorian, and would be nothing more. 

“Mando.” It was Ava. Din turned his head ever so slightly to bring his line of sight to hers. “Luke says we should go out tomorrow evening.” 

“Out? Out where?” He did his level best to keep steady and to ignore the way his heart thrummed. 

“To explore. He thinks it would be a good idea.”

“Why would the risk of unnecessarily exposing ourselves be a good idea?” His voice came out clipped, and a bit more pointed at Ava rather than the person who suggested the idea. The slight shift in her expression pained him in a way, he wanted to take it back and pull her close. No. Yes. No… You can’t. 

“I understand your resignation,” Luke chimed in like some knight in shining armor – ironically – “But given what I have heard from Ava’s accounts of your journey, I think it might do everyone some good to relax and have a little fun. We wouldn’t go to any of the casinos or anything like that, just some good food and good company.” 

Grogu gurgled happily at the sound of it, and Ava smiled quietly in agreement. Another chink in what Din believed to be impenitrable armor. He stayed quiet for another moment. Fett had just left and would be off world for a small while. Din tried his best to think pragmatically, like he usually did, but something about the way Ava leaned closer in anticipation, the small curls that framed her face and her eyes beaming right through his beskar made him say, “Alright.” 

Ava smiled at him. A true smile, one that washed the weariness he had seen in her eyes for the past several days. Another piece of his mental fortitude was chipped away. She happily picked Grogu out of Luke’s arms and took him upstairs, all with that same smile on her face. 

Din didn’t even realize he followed her with his eyes as she walked out of sight until he had to turn his head to Luke’s sudden remark.

“She is ready.” 

“Ready for what?” 

“To meet Leia.” 

The young Mandalorian stilled. Fett’s words from earlier played out in his mind. It can’t be like this forever. She will leave. And that will be the end. 

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[chaoskirin]

Review of Fire by Kristin Cashore.

I couldn't post this to Amazon or Goodreads because the book was so terrible and I had so much to say about it that I ran out of character space. My whole review is under the cut.

Short opinion: This book is a trainwreck. Rating: Two stars out of five.

****

The beginning of this book was phenomenal. I was SO looking forward to getting a story about Leck's origin, and I was so excited.

Then the book did a hard pivot.

And that's where we get Fire. I thought the first book in this series was average... Decent enough to recommend to others who wanted a fantasy world with a cool premise, but Fire is the literary equivalent of a train wreck. I wanted to stop reading, but I also wanted to see how the book could POSSIBLY get worse than it already was. For that alone, I have to give it two stars. Because even though I couldn't stand the main character (whose name, like the book, is Fire) I could not look away.

Fire (the MC, not the book) is a problem, because she is constantly objectifying herself, and the narrative tended to tell this rather than show it. Fire constantly whined about how she'd be gawked at or harassed because of her beauty, but it's almost told through internal monologue. The narrative. The metatext. As a reader, I'm supposed to believe she's this otherworldly beauty that no one can look at without salivating ONLY because I'm told to believe it.

She also doesn't want to ever have babies, because monsters are so dangerous that she decided early on that it would be unconscionable to make more people like herself. I'll get back to that eventually, but that's important. Remember it.

One thing I'm surprised no review brought up is how juvenile the term "monster" seems in this book. I cannot for the life of me figure out why they weren't called something else. I can come up with a half dozen options off the top of my head, from complete nonsense words like Sarmots to something more familiar, like Spawnling. Monster just made me think of the brightly-colored characters from Monsters, Inc and that's all I could picture throughout the whole book. Fire was a cartoon. Her father was a cartoon. The leopard monster who ATE her father was a cartoon. That's not really a spoiler, because once again, it's told rather than shown, and pretty early on in the book, too.

This book also uses shock value to cause negative sentiment toward a character, and it's completely gratuitous and pointless. Fire's father abuses animals. He keeps them in cages. He starves them. And when Fire's dog, who she loved very much, gave her a little nip, daddy dearest caused him to throw himself against sharp rocks for a little while, and then disposed of the dog off-page. There was no reason to shock the audience like that to show he was bad, because he'd already been established as a complete dick in other ways.

I'm constantly angry at the main character, but it's not necessarily because of her direct characterization. It's about the characterization that's done AROUND her, while leaving her to react to it. She has no personality, but we know she's a "human monster." We know (for reasons I can't even begin to fathom) that when she has her period every month, she needs a full armed guard because other monsters will totally find her and kill her over it. Last, it's established early on that she's controlled and jealously guarded by a childhood friend named Archer who won't let anyone else get close to her. And also that Archer bedded her when she was a minor.

Monsters have varying ability to control or influence thoughts and actions, and they all want to chow down on each other. That includes Fire, who, in addition to being high on every other monster's bucket list gourmet menu, also craves the flesh of her fellow monsters, which are all brightly-colored animals of varying types.

She also gets hurt. A lot. She's got so many scars. Because so many people want her dead, because she's the last of her kind and dangerous (or something) and also really beautiful and this all becomes more confusing when you realize that these monsters were NOT in Graceling, even though there's apparently only a mountain barrier between the land in book one and book two, and almost all the monsters that appear in this book can fly, so there's no excuse. And ALSO, there's no Gracelings in this book, which is even weirder because apparently the gods or the earth or the magic power fairies who bestow Graces just don't like the people on THIS side of the mountains.

Fire does one single thing worthy of attention in the whole book: When a division of the army is being attacked by raptor (flying) monsters, she uses herself as bait to lure the monsters away. Apparently monsters recognize other monsters by sight, and seeing her saved almost every soldier being attacked. She was able to escape (while being injured) and everyone got through OK.

But... it turns out she only did it to impress a man--Prince Brigan--so he wouldn't think she was so bad. Brigan starts out hating Fire because Fire's father, Cansrel, was an asshole and hated Brigan. Cansrel manipulated Brigan's father, Nax, by using his mind control abilities, to the great ruination of the kingdom. It was not a good situation. However, Brigan seems to be of the opinion that being an asshole is genetic, because he immediately attacks Fire without ever even talking to her.

This is attempted to be offset by demonstrating Brigan's love of horses--that he's really just a gentle soul who's been hurt in the past. I dislike when books show a man's gentle side by having them interact kindly to animals and children, as it shows an inability for the author to write nuance within the main relationship. Showing a character is capable of the easiest possible level of compassion isn't a flex.  

(conversely, this same author uses a LACK of compassion to animals to show that a character is bad. Also not great.)

So even though Brigan pins fire against a wall so hard that he bruises her and scares her, this book makes it clear that abusing someone can be forgiven if you like horses.

About 40% in, the author is finally SHOWING Fire's effect on people by having them actually react when she's around. This is an improvement from the "telling" method that dominated the first part of the book, but it gets old quickly. It becomes Fire's entire interaction protocol for almost every character, which becomes especially confusing later. Despite Fire having this effect on everyone and it being pointed out often, it stops being a thing when it's Convenient For The Plot. More about that later, though.

Speaking of plot, though, this point in the book is extremely plot light. The characters have gone back and forth a few times between locations, but there's no real meat to this story. It's a lot of setup. Too much setup.

King Nash, who seems from the book's description on Amazon to be a very important character, isn't important at all. He has no personality to speak of besides being obsessed with Fire, and asks her to marry him several times without any deeper conversation.

I sat down with myself and thought about this a lot, too, because there's absolutely nothing wrong with a character being pretty and knowing it, or having this mind-control beauty effect on those around them. But it takes up so much of the book, and every chapter has blatant reminders of it that it has essentially supplanted the plot. It becomes whiny and grating. If it was an introspective character piece it might all be excusable, but it's a lot of "poor me" in the guise of a fantasy novel, where any semblance of plot surfaces only momentarily before drowning in exposition.

The only character with any growth at all is Brigan, and it's not particularly stellar.

About this time, readers may have started wondering why, if Fire's hair and appearance was so distracting, she didn't dye or cut her hair off, or disguise herself in some other way. Well, she can't. If she does so, the dye immediately comes out or her hair grows back. Why? It's never explained. It might have been had Fire been at all curious about monsters in general. And given the book's excessive backstory in lieu of plot, I'm surprised this never came up.

Where did monsters come from? Why are they so attractive to humans, and attractive to each other?

But the worst part of Fire not being able to hide her hair (because it grows back) is that there's no explanation as to why other parts of her don't heal just as quickly. For example, if her body forces her to be beautiful all the time, why does she scar? She's brutally attacked several times in this book, and these injuries always leave scars.

There is also a point where it's revealed that Fire takes an herb that prevents her from getting pregnant ever again. Why, if the monster's MO seems to be temptation through beauty (and this would likely extend to reproduction) does her body not heal this?

It makes me even angrier that she seems to have done this on a whim instead of truly thinking about it, and then changes her mind later with this wonderful bit of exposition:

"It made Fire so angry, the thought of such a medicine, a violence done to herself to stop her from creating anything like herself. And what was the purpose of these eyes, this impossible face, the softness and curves of her body... (etc etc etc)... What was the purpose of a woman monster?"

You are reading that correctly. She waxes poetic about what her purpose could possibly be if she's not an oven to bake and squeeze out children. What the hell kind of anti-feminist BS is this in a book written in modern times?

And it's fine if she's individually conflicted, but honestly, if you decide you don't want children, it's... A pretty solid decision. I knew I didn't want children personally when I was maaaaybe sixteen, and I never wavered on that decision. There wasn't ever a time when I suddenly went "what am I and what's my legacy if I don't bear some fruit of my own?"

That's so reductionist and insulting. Never mind that it makes no sense that her body just wouldn't heal this thing she did to herself, why would any character contemplate her entire purpose as just being a baby maker for a pretty man?

I wanted to be fair to this book, too. So I read all this again to make damn sure I understood it and I wasn't just understanding it incorrectly. But I got it, I understood it, and then I had to shake my head.

Who edited this book? Who failed to catch all this contradictory exposition? Whose job was it to read the disconnect between Fire being able to regrow or un-dye her hair, but still be able to take a herb that ended her ability to have children? And then, who read Fire going on about how she was nothing but a babymaker and let that go to print?

This definitely wasn't the end of Fire contradicting herself, though, as I was discouraged to discover. It was as if the author wrote sections of this story months apart, but never went back to read what she'd already written.

The narrative makes it clear early on that Fire can use her power to make people not lust over her, but after the first chapter, she never does it, because "that would be wrong." Instead, she allows everyone around her to stare and gawk and lose their minds, which is apparently "right," because that's their free will?

She also has no problem with demonstrating her power against a friend just so she can re-enter her house without being seen. It was fine at the time, but she never does this again. After demonstrating how she could use her power, she decides that it's wrong, and suddenly develops morals over never doing it. Why have a character with this power, then? Why does she balk at using it when it's important?

Instead of seeing a demonstration of how her power truly works, though, we get a whole lot of paragraphs about something else. Fire's bleeding time. Her periods.

Yeah, not joking.

It was just a little weird to mention them once, but they're brought up at least a dozen times, and she even starts discussing the "bleeding time" of Brigan's kid. That's all a little alarming, considering animals in the real world don't seem to be attracted or even care much about the periods of human women. People were so curious about this that they even ran experiments on it, and found that they really, REALLY don't care. In fact, even polar bears--one of the most dangerous predators on earth who WILL hunt humans down for food--only had a passing interest.

But this book constantly brings up periods as a danger for all women. There are whole infirmaries full of dying and bleeding soldiers, but it's never mentioned that they're all terrified of monsters getting in and attacking them. In fact, I would have believed all of this more if they abandoned their critically wounded to die for fear of the monsters. But apparently the only worry anyone has is women on their periods. Right. OK.

I'm going to make a terrible segue here to the character named Archer, who had woman issues of his own. Of a completely different variety, but that's OK. I needed a way to get away from the previous topic.

Archer's presentation as Fire's love interest at the beginning of the book is disturbing. He and Fire start as childhood friends--although he is several years older than Fire--and this develops into a relationship. Over time, Archer becomes possessive to the point of insanity, yet Fire constantly misses him as if he was a great influence on her life. And she never works through his abuse toward her, except through very scarce throwaway lines that are essentially blink-and-you'll-miss-them.

But Archer isn't ever shown to be a loving partner. There's no part of the book that shows him as a good man. Instead, he's always shown as jealous and possessive. A philanderer who has little respect for Fire and a selfish interest in his own physical needs. I thought at first that the book was presenting Archer as an antagonist for Fire to overcome, but it quickly becomes clear that the relationship is an extremely twisted romance, and I am confused as to whether people are supposed to be rooting for it or not. Fire KNOWS she's being abused and controlled, but she has no introspection over it, and indeed forgives Archer for everything.

That's not even the worst of Archer's character, though.

Please be aware that there are spoilers here for the rest of Archer's storyline, but the following paragraphs are more of a trigger warning for anyone hoping to read this book.

OK? Good.

Archer regularly has sex with underaged girls. This wasn't as bad when he was 20 and Fire was 17, although still very wrong. But with Archer in his late 20s, he has sex with and impregnates a 14-year-old girl.

This girl, Mila, was one of Fire's elite guards, which makes no sense at all. Mila easily could have been 18. Or 20. Or hell, even 30. The age really doesn't matter, and there was no narrative reason for her to be that young. It's not even addressed until after Archer impregnates her. How is anyone an elite, skilled guard at the age of 14? Who knows. Just like much of the really important explanations this book needed, this isn't ever addressed.

So I can only assume she was 14 years old for shock value.

This is never treated as a major problem as far as a man sexually assaulting a child. It was only thought of as an inconvenience because Mila wasn't married to him, and Archer was a womanizer who wasn't thinking of Mila's feelings. As if this wasn't horrible enough, at the end of the book, with Mila now 16, she talks to Fire about how King Nash--around the age of 30--is making eyes at her, and asks if she should reciprocate. Fire replies that they're perfect for each other.

What the hell? Okay. I have to do some moralizing for a minute here.

Writers are writing for one of two entities: Either themselves, or for an audience. A lot of times these things align and they're writing for both. I truly hope Cashore didn't write this for herself. But if she wrote it for an audience, then she's grossly misinterpreted what would be appropriate.

I find that a lot of people insert things like sexual assault into medieval fantasy, since this has been done in the past. Some authors feel like there is an expectation of it, or that it cannot be medieval fantasy without certain age-old unsavory elements.

But here's the thing. This is your world. You created it. You get to make the rules from the ground up, and there is no situation where you MUST insert these things. If you do, that strongly reflects on you and your own desires as a writer, especially when you choose a route where relationships like these are seen as romantic or acceptable. While I will always respect an author's right to put whatever they want into their writing, I will also always respect someone's right to be critical against it. Please stop thinking this is a requirement for traditional fantasy.

And if you are absolutely deadest on writing a character have relations of this nature with a child, then HAVE SOME SORT OF REASON FOR IT. And if you do it, don't expect people to then sympathize with the character who has committed the act. Archer became every reader's least favorite character the second he did the deed. Don't treat him as a character worthy of anyone's sympathy.

How do I know he was expected to be treated as a sympathetic character?

I'll get back to that later. For a little levity, though, I have to pause here for a minute, because it'd be downright remiss of me if I didn't bring up the name of one of King Nash's enemies.

He actually has two rivals that come up repeatedly in the book. One's name is Gentian, which is fine. The other one's name is Mydogg.

Mydogg.

My dog.

Before going into this rant, I actually looked to see if this was some sort of important surname with a link to the real world. It's so silly, I couldn't see it being such, and when I tried to look it up, I got a whole lot of websites about puppies, and one that wanted me to click on something to verify I was a real person before I proceeded to the actual page.

So it was safe to say that this was a totally made up name.

Why? Why would you choose that absolutely ridiculous name when you could literally name a character any mash of letters you want? Mydar. Mydhig. Mygdar. I don't know, I could probably come up with a hundred others in the span of ten minutes, but this author decided on Mydogg. The name would be out of place even in the silliest of comedic novels, but Fire is an ultra-serious YA romance where things called monsters kill people on the reg and everyone is miserable.

Maybe because he's an ineffective villain who's barely seen on the page, and is often lumped together with the other rival, Gentian. It's rare that he's mentioned alone; it's always "Mydogg and Gentian, to the point where I almost wondered if the character's first name was "Mydogg," his middle name was "and," and his last name was "Gentian."

And neither of them did anything of note in the story. Nearly everything to do with them happened off the page.

And yet, Fire was expected to help with this war, even though her involvement in this storyline was weak, and the entire thing itself happened outside of her narrative. The entire kingdom constantly pressured her to use her power to go into the minds of the captured enemy agents and get information from them. At this point, she decided to be obstinate and not use her power in this way at all, necessitating pages of exposition where she agonizes over the decision and all the people in her life push her to do this thing she doesn't want to do.

There was a question in my mind here--and through the rest of the book--as to whether Nash's kingdom of Dells really was the "good guy" in this story, or if it was just the focus of the book's setting and characters. Nothing that happened led me to believe this was the force I should be rooting for, which meant I had no clear idea about whether Fire's morals were common or uncommon, or whether the Dellian kingdom was just evil or very desperate.

Because there was little or no attention paid to Mydogg or Gentian's actions, and the kingdom of the Dells was somewhat evil before Nash took over, I can only really assume there's no reason for me to align my allegiance with the POV character. What if Mydogg or Gentian are better than Nash? I could never possibly know.

And this might not matter so much if the two potential usurpers weren't brought up in almost every chapter, leaving the reader desperately wanting to meet and judge them. The names stick out better in my mind that even some of the main characters because they're mentioned so much.

So I don't know if it's a good thing that Fire has refused to use her power, or a bad thing. I don't know if she's essentially given an opening to these other armies to valiantly triumph, or if she's doomed the last bastion of good in the world to defeat.

It's clear to me that eventually Fire's going to use her power in SOME way, because she's being pressured to do it from all angles, and she's senselessly refusing. I imagined she'd eventually be coerced into doing it by her love interest Brigan, and she is. At one point, he mentions all the horrors of war he's committed, and Fire's like "yeah, I guess if I take over someone's mind, it's a horror of war, and I can live with that."

You'd think after that, we'd see some pretty heavy use of her power. But no, she just lets people see her. And if that convinces them to spill secrets, good. If not, oh well. She won't push them further. I actually rolled my eyes. Before one session, she even lusts over herself in a mirror. No, I'm not kidding.

This is when I realized why the author called people like Fire "monsters" and not something else. It's another effort to tell rather than show. The entire chapter dealing with interrogations hinges on the word "monster" because readers are meant to perceive her as such without her doing any of the narrative work to make her as bad as she says she is. She has no teeth--literally or metaphorically--that would make her terrifying, and yet the word "monster" is used over and over to remind readers that she's an aberration among humans.

As she's sitting in front of these prisoners doing absolutely nothing except talking to them, she thinks this:

"I'm getting better at this, Fire thought to herself. I'm learning all the cheap, disgusting little tricks."

But there are no cheap, disgusting tricks. She isn't poking around in their minds. She isn't pushing if they won't let her in. She's doing nothing that would warrant this statement or the fact that the narrative keeps reminding the reader that Fire is, indeed, a monster.

There is one interesting scene which caught my attention pretty thoroughly, so I have to admit, there are some gems in this book. I thought this scene might be the beginning of Fire's encounter with Leck (whose presence essentially started the book) but I was ultimately disappointed. In this scene, Fire returns to her rooms and finds her own personal guard muddled and confused, unable to agree on the identity or the validity of a visitor.

But this ultimately came to nothing, and was a bit of a side-step in the weak storyline. I think it was supposed to foreshadow something that came later, but it did a very poor job of it.

In Fire's storyline, there are a lot of flashbacks to her time living with her father as a young girl. Given the culmination of these flashbacks, I believe the reader is meant to see that Fire is, indeed, a powerful "monster" and that she really can plant suggestions to make anyone do whatever she wants. It might also have been to make the audience sympathetic to Archer, which it failed to do entirely, because I just can't bring myself to care about him or anything about what he might have done in his past.

The biggest mistake with these flashbacks is that Fire's father, Cansrel, is dead. I already know nothing that happens in present time will involve him. If the author really wanted to write about this relationship specifically, why not make the whole book about it? Why go back and forth between the past and the present? There is a kernel of good story here, but it's hidden by a past and a culmination that I already know. Cansrel can have no effect on Fire anymore. Why is so much of the book dedicated to him?

I would have preferred that these forays into the past answered some of the questions that I've asked before in this review: Why do monsters exist? Why is Fire the last human monster? Why are there no Gracelings I this part of the world? Et cetera. Why do monsters regrow their cut hair? What sort of magic makes them irresistible? But these questions never get answered.

And as I got closer to the end of the book, I discovered there was no room for these answers, because there was a completely nonsensical diversion into confusing territory, and a whole lot more about Archer instea.

There will be more spoilers going forward, because it's impossible to get into the absurdity of this narrative without them. But it doesn't matter. Consider them a warning if you're thinking of reading this book. If you don't want to know how it ends and you wish to read it yourself instead, then stop reading here, and go forward with an iron constitution and my regrets.

I realized around the 60% mark that the author wanted to tell not one or two, but five different stories, and she had no idea how to fit them all together. Rather than writing multiple books in this section of the world, she stuffed them all into one place: A brewing war. A young monster coming into her own. Leck's origins as a villain. Archer's ultimate demise. The political climate of a kingdom hanging on by a thread.

So here's the major spoiler. You've been warned once. This is twice. You'll have one more line to back out if you really don't want to know.

Okay? This is it. Last chance.

Archer dies.

You may think this would make me happy, but it's so unsatisfying. I wanted to see him suffer for everything he did, but instead, Fire is inexplicably and suddenly kidnapped without fanfare, and she then simply finds his body.

Yes. This person whom every reader must despise gets an ignoble death off page.

Fire then spends the rest of the book mourning him, which is absolutely enraging. He did nothing worth mourning. He made no connection with the reader. He was possessive, a jerk, he rapted a child and impregnated her, then impregnated another woman and vanished. He did nothing worthy of respect, and the entire last 30% of the book reads as if I'm supposed to care that he's dead. It assumes I shed tears for him instead of breathing a sigh of relief that his filthy personality wouldn't be dominating any more of the pages.

It'd fine if you want your MC to grieve for a character, but you'd better do your best to make him at least a little sympathetic. The amount of time Fire spent pouting and whining that he was gone came across as disrespectful to me and my time. He hurt her. He hurt her friends. I could not fathom why Fire wasn't also glad he was dead.

All those flashbacks about Fire's father--which included Archer--and there was not one scene in any of them that endeared Archer to me. He read like an ineffective and annoying villain who accomplished jack squat in his life before getting himself killed by a much more effective and interesting villain. His presence to time away from a different character I very much would have liked to get to know, and I hate him for it. He was shallow, unlikeable, and predatory. Why would I want to hear his name again and again after he shuffled off?

And while Leck does appear again, briefly, it's too late and so pointless that I found myself skimming through the very thing that would have made the book a little interesting if it'd appeared much earlier. But by this time, his appearance popped up with no preamble and piss-poor foreshadowing and interrupted a storyline already in progress.

This storyline was confusing and involved the kingdom inviting their own enemies to a ball--the only explanation for which was this line: "It was a curious bit of Dellian politics"--but I still would have liked to see the ending of it. Instead, it wrapped off the page and I never even got the satisfaction of seeing it through.

Again, where was the editor?

On a very surface level, this book tries and fails to delve into the differences between the Nax/Cansrel duo and the Nash/Fire duo and their differences in morality. If the book wanted to be that, it very well could have been. It would have had to make Nash a major character rather than a simpering king desperate to wed a monster, but it might have ended up being a good story. Even though the book's summary hints that Nash is a major character, he, like many other characters, only exist as props for Fire. And they're poor ones at that.

At least he wasn't Archer. If he'd died, maybe I would have been a little upset about it.

The worst upset in this book is that the first chapter was SO. DAMN. GOOD. It set up something I really wanted to read about, and every page after that was just disappointment piling atop disappointment. After that, the book became a confusing amalgamation of various storylines that are tied together with the thinnest thread and a bit of Elmer's glue.