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#but the symmetry is satisfying when it occurs
fictionadventurer · 1 year
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It's very satisfying to me when the number of Inklings Challenge participants divides perfectly into equal teams. Any new members had better sign up in groups of three.
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Secure Own Oxygen Mask
Chapter 28
After his t-cog was unlocked, back when it was just the two of you, Ravage asked if you liked your alt mode.
It was not a question that had occurred to you before. You gave it some thought. 
"Yes. Symmetry: satisfying." It was hard to get more symmetrical than a communication hub, a metal box covered with buttons and slots. Even your radar dish and springy antenna were neatly oriented, equidistant apart.  "Recording: enjoyable. Broadcasting: enjoyable.  Soundwave: likes form."
"But it brought you such hardship."
"Hardship: caused by injustice. Not shape."
Ravage, who had been walking gingerly back from the scrub medic's back alley business on two shaky humanoid legs, looked thoughtful and, after a few blocks, dropped into his familiar feline form.
And so when Laserbeak decided to keep the data card mode that had branded him "a Disposable", you understood. 
And, perhaps, were glad for it.
~*~
Laserbeak is a warm presence in your chest.  He is at once easier and more difficult to read than the other cassettes.  When the others are docked he will 'think' sentences, clumsily mimicking speech, but it is just the two of you tonight. As his magnetic tape rolls over your reader the electrical impulses flit back and forth, rapid and instinctual.
Words do not come easily to either of you; E Class mecha were assembled under the presumption they would not have anything worthwhile to say.  It is not an insurmountable limitation, the twins proved that, but you have never felt incomplete (Megatron accepted you as you were) and what you lack in syntax you regain in range and power.  (Blaster can never quite match up to you;  you are smug about that. Everyone knows he was only recruited to counter you.)  
You are a tape deck now, Laserbeak is a cassette—sturdier than he used to be—but the relationship is much the same.  E Class mecha were meant to integrate, to communicate.
But being able to communicate does not necessarily mean choosing to.  Laserbeak is present, his vital signs readable, but his emotional state, his thoughts, he keeps encrypted tonight.
You prod the connection gently, and then not quite so gently, something closer to a command.  His opinion, his feelings, his thoughts—they matter.  You need them.  This is important.  
His presence now has a restless edge.  If this were Buzzsaw she would bluster, but Laserbeak hunkers down, like a bird on a nest, revealing nothing, giving you nothing.  But he does not clamor to eject either.
You try Megatron's voice. "This is not optional."   Laserbeak takes great pride in the trust Megatron places on him, be it to spy or simply to record a meeting.  But tonight, your leader's words do not move him.
A stalemate. You gaze out at the desert.  Headlights are winding down the distant road.  The native organics, these humans, are pathetic little things.  For all that the Autobots coddle them, they were quick to beg Megatron for continued access to this land where they "had to" dispose of their irradiated waste. The creatures proposed "a treaty", as though they had not just proven themselves untrustworthy allies.  But Shockwave had use for such material and Megatron was amused, so access was granted.
"There will be no treaty," Megatron said. "I do not negotiate with feckless dogs. But since you have begged, scraps will be thrown to you.  Gobble them up while you can, for they come from my hand and can be stayed by my hand." The humans made indignant noises, but they accepted.  How organics can stand themselves, you have no idea.
Self-delusion, Laserbeak offers with a flash of humor.  He unbends a little, playing a video clip recorded from within a vent: beyond a grate you see Red Alert, the Autobot's Chief of Security, in an absolute tizzy over the humans' deal with Megatron.  He rants, he raves, he clutches the sensors on his helm, which are visibly sparking. Every time Optimus Prime attempts to calm him, he is interrupted by Prowl, who drily offers dire predictions on what "horrors" the Decepticons might construct with an arsenal of nuclear waste.
You have seen the clip before, of course, but it is a favorite . . . made only more entertaining due to the fact that Prowl's theorizing was forwarded on to Shockwave's Science Division, who are working hard to make his fears a reality.
Foolish Autobots, you and Laserbeak think together, laugh together.
The tension eases.  Your systems interlink more closely, data and emotions shared.  Memories rise and fade. 
Laserbeak perched on a mainframe, watching you work too many hours. 
His first assignment tracking the Autobot army, a fear and a thrill in his spark. His disdain and triumph when they ignored him, just another red-enameled hawk scouring the wastes for glitch mice.  
Returning, exhausted and proud; seeing you standing in the camp, visor turned towards the sky, waiting for him.  A sense of home.
Megatron's praise, your praise, his own pride . . . He knew this was only the start and he welcomed it.
Flying. Spying. Listening. Waiting. Transforming. Reporting.  "Laserbeak, return." The words echo as memories flash by.  A square within a square.  A rectangle within a rectangle.  He is a bird and you are the sky.  "Laserbeak, Laserbeak, Laserbeak.  Return, return, return."
I will miss this.   
It is impossible to tell who the thought came from.
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glamaesthetics010 · 2 months
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Nose Correction Without Surgery: Exploring Non-Surgical Rhinoplasty
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When it comes to enhancing facial features, the nose plays a pivotal role in balancing overall aesthetics. However, not everyone is willing to undergo invasive surgical procedures to achieve the desired look. For those seeking subtle enhancements or corrections, nose correction without surgery, often referred to as a "liquid nose job," offers a compelling alternative.
Understanding Non-Surgical Rhinoplasty
Non-surgical rhinoplasty involves the use of injectable fillers to alter the shape of the nose. This minimally invasive procedure can address a variety of concerns such as bumps, asymmetry, or a drooping nasal tip. The fillers, typically composed of hyaluronic acid (a substance naturally found in the body), are strategically injected to reshape and contour the nose.
Benefits of Non-Surgical Rhinoplasty
Minimally Invasive: Unlike traditional rhinoplasty, which requires incisions and significant downtime, non-surgical rhinoplasty involves only a few injections. This reduces the risk of complications and eliminates the need for anesthesia.
Quick Procedure and Recovery: The entire process usually takes less than an hour, and patients can often return to their daily activities immediately after the procedure. Some minor swelling or bruising may occur, but these side effects typically subside within a few days.
Temporary and Reversible: Non-surgical rhinoplasty is not permanent. The effects last between 6 to 18 months, depending on the type of filler used and the patient's metabolism. If the patient is not satisfied with the results, an enzyme called hyaluronidase can be injected to dissolve the filler and reverse the changes.
Cost-Effective: While traditional rhinoplasty can be quite expensive, non-surgical options are generally more affordable, making them accessible to a wider range of individuals.
Ideal Candidates for Non-Surgical Rhinoplasty
Non-surgical rhinoplasty is suitable for individuals looking to make minor adjustments to their nose. Ideal candidates include those who wish to:
Smooth out small bumps or dips on the bridge of the nose.
Improve the symmetry of the nose.
Lift a drooping nasal tip.
Enhance the overall contour and shape of the nose.
It is important to note that non-surgical rhinoplasty cannot reduce the size of the nose or address issues related to nasal function, such as breathing difficulties. Individuals with significant structural concerns may still require surgical intervention.
The Procedure
The non-surgical rhinoplasty procedure begins with a consultation with a qualified practitioner. During this consultation, the patient's goals and expectations are discussed, and a customized treatment plan is developed.
On the day of the procedure, the nose is cleaned and numbing cream may be applied to minimize discomfort. The filler is then carefully injected into specific areas of the nose to achieve the desired shape. The practitioner may mold and shape the filler to ensure a natural and harmonious result.
Aftercare and Results
Following the procedure, patients are advised to avoid strenuous activities and to refrain from touching or applying pressure to the nose for at least 24 hours. Over-the-counter pain relievers can be used to manage any discomfort.
The results of non-surgical rhinoplasty are visible immediately, with optimal results appearing as any swelling subsides. Patients can enjoy a refined nose shape without the need for invasive surgery, making it an attractive option for those seeking subtle yet significant enhancements.
Conclusion
Non-surgical rhinoplasty offers a safe, effective, and convenient alternative to traditional surgical procedures for those looking to enhance the appearance of their nose. With minimal downtime, temporary and reversible results, and a lower cost, this innovative approach is transforming the field of cosmetic enhancements and providing individuals with more options to achieve their desired look. As always, it is crucial to consult with a skilled and experienced practitioner to ensure the best possible outcome.
For More Info:
dermal fillers near me
skin whitening treatment near me
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idigitizellp21 · 2 months
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Understanding Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
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Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a long-lasting disorder in which a person experiences uncontrollable and recurring thoughts (obsessions), engages in repetitive behaviors (compulsions), or both. People with OCD have time-consuming symptoms that can cause significant distress or interfere with daily life. People with OCD may have obsessions, compulsions, or both. Obsessions are repeated thoughts, urges, or mental images that are intrusive, unwanted, and make most people anxious. While many people casually refer to themselves as “OCD” when describing hyper specific behaviors, true OCD is a serious disorder that can significantly impact an individual’s daily functioning and quality of life. To understand OCD, it is important to learn about its actual symptoms and dismantle common misconceptions about OCD. 
As the name suggests, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) has two main sets of behaviors, Obsessions and Compulsions. Common obsessions are often related to fear of germ contamination aka germaphobe, involuntary and intrusive thoughts, specificity when it comes to shapes, patterns and symmetry. Compulsions often occur when the aforementioned obsessions are repeated and when a person who has OCD feels the urge to do them, often in response to an obsession. Examples of compulsive behaviours are, excessively cleaning around the house or washing hands, arranging and reordering items or articles of clothes to satisfy a particular pattern or maintain symmetry, constantly checking if things are in the right place or checking if all the electrical outlets around the house are turned off etc. Although compulsions are a result of repetitive obsessions, not all obsessions turn into compulsions and often people with OCD do not realize the excessive nature of their compulsions. OCD symptoms may begin showing themselves between late childhood and young adulthood. Most people with OCD are diagnosed as young adults. The symptoms of OCD may start slowly and can go away for a while or worsen as time passes. 
Many people mistakenly assume that they have OCD because they find themselves engaging in behaviours that are organized or specific. While these traits can be associated with OCD, they do not, in themselves, constitute the disorder. All the common behaviours that are misconstrued as having OCD are, excessive cleanliness, constantly double-checking and the need for perfection. Although these can be attributed to OCD, these are very common occurrences in people’s lives. These common behaviours are often a result of general anxiety or lifestyle choices, whereas in OCD these behaviours are brought upon by fear and significantly impact their lives.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a serious and debilitating condition that goes beyond preferences for order or cleanliness. While many people may have traits or behaviours that resemble OCD, true OCD involves fears, intrusive obsessions and compulsions that cause significant distress and impact quality of life significantly.
Treatment for OCD helps many people, even those with the most severe forms of OCD. Mental health professionals may use different models of psychotherapy such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Exposure Therapy etc. Further, they may also prescribe medication that will work in tandem with psychotherapy to relieve some anxiety that comes along with OCD. A mental health professional from ImPerfect can help you decide which treatment option is best for you and explain the benefits and risks of each.  
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modernbeautyjournal · 4 months
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3 Reasons Why Patients Find Breast Augmentation to be Worth It
When patients are considering breast augmentation, there are plenty of factors they will need to consider about the procedure—such as size of implant, type of implant, and more—that will be influenced by the results they hope to attain. Not all implants are made the same: They’re available with different shells, different levels of projection, and either silicone or saline filling. Your plastic surgeon helps you decide which implants are best for you based on your anatomy and your aesthetic goals. They’ll review your medical history and go over more personal information, including any plans to have (or not have) children to decide whether this form of plastic surgery will be the best option for you. The physical results from breast augmentation are obvious but there are also some lesser talked about mental benefits as well, so many people find them to be well worth the time and effort. The following are some of the top advantages of breast augmentation, as explained by the Philadelphia area’s Cirillo Center for Plastic Surgery:
1. Breast Implants Can Be Customized
As mentioned above, breast augmentation isn’t a one-size-fits-all procedure. In your consultation, your plastic surgeon and you will decide on the extent of the enhancement you would prefer. You can choose between silicone or saline and finding the size that best fits their frame, along with implant placement (under or above the pectoral muscle).
2. Long-Lasting Outcome 
Breast augmentation does not offer “lifetime” results, but the effects are still long-lasting. Implants can be expected to provide a satisfying enhancement for 10 to 20 years—although every set of implants, surgery, and patient is unique. Patients typically consider removal if there is a complication—such as rupture, capsular contracture, or rippling—or if their personal tastes change and they want a new implant size or shape.
3. Better Breast Symmetry
Asymmetrical breasts aren’t identical in size, shape, form, position, or volume. This could occur as a result of development during puberty, hormonal changes, trauma, or other causes. This is a common concern that many women have—in fact, more than half of all women have some form of breast asymmetry—and although there is no real cause for concern, it can make them feel self-conscious about their shape, especially if the asymmetry is very noticeable. 
Learn more about breast augmentation from Dr. Laura Gowen and the staff at the Cirillo Center for Plastic Surgery. Get in contact with the practice by calling 610-525-0500 or fill out a contact form to schedule a consultation if you’re interested in finding out more. 
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carloswilson0 · 5 months
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Fuller Lips, Fuller Confidence: Lip Fillers in Burton-on-Trent
Fuller, more voluptuous lips have become synonymous with beauty and confidence in today's society. From glossy magazine covers to social media influencers, plump pouts are everywhere, inspiring individuals to seek ways to enhance their own lip volume. In Burton-on-Trent, the quest for fuller lips and increased confidence has led many to explore the transformative benefits of lip fillers. In this article, we'll delve into the world of lip fillers in Burton-on-Trent, uncovering the procedures, benefits, and considerations for those looking to achieve fuller lips and newfound self-assurance.
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Understanding Lip Fillers
Lip fillers, also known as lip injections or lip augmentation, are cosmetic procedures designed to add volume, shape, and definition to the lips. These fillers are typically made from hyaluronic acid, a naturally occurring substance in the body that helps maintain hydration and plumpness in the skin. When injected into the lips, fillers can increase lip volume, smooth out fine lines, and create a more defined lip contour, resulting in fuller, more youthful-looking lips.
The Allure of Lip Fillers in Burton-on-Trent
In Burton-on-Trent, a charming town steeped in history and culture, the allure of lip fillers has captivated the attention of residents seeking to enhance their natural beauty. With a growing number of aesthetic clinics and experienced practitioners offering lip filler treatments, individuals in Burton-on-Trent have easy access to professional expertise and advanced techniques. Whether it's adding subtle volume to thin lips or achieving a more dramatic enhancement, Lip fillers Burton on trent provide a range of options to suit every individual's aesthetic goals.
Benefits of Lip Fillers
The benefits of lip fillers extend beyond mere aesthetics, offering individuals a boost in confidence and self-esteem. Fuller lips can enhance facial harmony, balance, and symmetry, creating a more youthful and attractive appearance. Additionally, lip filler treatments are versatile, allowing practitioners to tailor the results to each patient's desired outcome. Whether it's achieving a subtle enhancement or a more noticeable transformation, lip fillers in Burton-on-Trent offer the opportunity to enhance one's natural beauty and embrace a newfound sense of self-assurance.
Natural-Looking Results
One of the key goals of lip filler treatments is to achieve natural-looking results that enhance the individual's features without appearing overdone or artificial. Skilled practitioners in Burton-on-Trent understand the importance of subtle enhancements that complement the natural shape and contours of the lips. By carefully assessing each patient's lip anatomy and utilizing advanced injection techniques, practitioners can achieve results that are harmonious, proportionate, and in balance with the overall facial aesthetics. The aim is to create lips that look plump, youthful, and naturally alluring, enhancing the patient's appearance while maintaining a natural look and feel.
The Consultation Process
Before undergoing lip filler treatment in Burton-on-Trent, individuals undergo a comprehensive consultation with a qualified practitioner. During this initial appointment, the practitioner takes the time to understand the patient's aesthetic goals, preferences, and concerns. They also assess the patient's lip anatomy, skin quality, and overall facial harmony to determine the most suitable treatment approach. This collaborative process allows patients to discuss their expectations openly and ensures that the treatment plan is tailored to their unique needs, ensuring a satisfying and personalized experience.
The Treatment Experience
On the day of the lip filler procedure, patients in Burton-on-Trent can expect a comfortable and streamlined experience at their chosen clinic. After applying a topical numbing cream to minimize discomfort, the practitioner carefully administers the dermal filler injections using fine needles or cannulas. The procedure typically takes less than an hour to complete, allowing patients to return to their daily activities with minimal downtime. While some mild swelling or bruising may occur initially, these side effects are temporary and can be easily managed with ice packs and gentle skincare.
Maintaining Lip Filler Results
As the effects of lip fillers gradually wear off over time, maintenance treatments are necessary to preserve the results. The longevity of lip filler treatments varies depending on factors such as the type of filler used and individual metabolism. Typically, patients can expect their lip filler results to last anywhere from six months to a year before requiring touch-up treatments. By scheduling regular follow-up appointments and adhering to a good skincare routine, patients can prolong the effects of their lip filler treatments and enjoy fuller, more defined lips for longer.
Conclusion
In Burton-on-Trent, where beauty meets tradition, lip fillers offer a pathway to fuller lips and increased confidence. With their ability to enhance lip volume, shape, and definition, lip filler treatments empower individuals to enhance their natural beauty and embrace a more confident and radiant appearance. Whether it's achieving subtle enhancement or a more noticeable transformation, lip fillers in Burton-on-Trent provide a range of options to suit every individual's aesthetic goals. So why wait? Discover the transformative benefits of lip fillers in Burton-on-Trent and unlock the secret to fuller lips and newfound self-assurance.
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penkraft123 · 2 years
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Is drawing Mandala, a stress buster?
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Mandala Art is a testament to the rich cultural and spiritual heritage of the subcontinent. Mandala meaning circle in Sanskrit is a complex abstract design usually circular in form and shape. It has one central point from which emanate a host of symbols, shapes, designs and patterns. There is a philosophy behind the form which it encapsulates in all its works. Although based on a semblance of thematic and aesthetic considerations it amply incorporates the artist's individual signature embodying the meanings he or she etches to the work of art. The inner world meeting the outer world is a union that Mandala art in practice celebrates and is both therapeutic and inspirational. Order out of disorder: The wayward self and the soul find their centring space in mandala art. It is, in fact, a therapy tool to make order out of disorder. The mandala designs although sparkling with different colours and shapes have a semblance in the chaos it creates adding a sense of symmetry and geometry to its unbalanced structure. Finding the order in disorder is like finding silence in the cacophony of life what practising mandala art lets you achieve. Nearly every culture uses mandalas is a circular image in their cultural or spiritual practices. Representation of the unconscious self The unconscious self finds its expression in things involuntarily and mandala art captures it in its representation. Carl Jung said When I began drawing the mandalas, I saw that everything, all the parts I had been following, all the steps I had taken were leading back to a single point- namely, the midpoint. It became increasingly plain to me that the of the mandala is the centre. It is the exponent of all the parts. It is the path to the centre to individuation. Jung said the urge for people to make mandalas emerges during moments of intense personal growth. In his work, he noted how mandala drawings changed over time as healing occurred in his patients. Seeking the self in the omnipresent: Mandala art puts the mind in a perspective which encapsulates itself within the aesthetic cosmos that Mandala art constructs. This is because mandalas are present everywhere. You can find them both in man-made environs as well as natural spaces. Once you begin drawing Mandala art start noticing mandala patterns everywhere. Channelizing your energy: One of the major reasons for physical and mental stress is not being satisfied by your present circumstances and not achieving the desired results for what you put in your efforts. As human beings, we all have untapped energy which if not channelized towards a direction becomes destructive. Mandala art channelizes our energies to a constructive end not just giving us creative satisfaction with the result but a calming peace in the process with its circular motifs.
Penkraft conducts classes, course, online courses, live courses, workshops, teachers’ training & online teachers’ training in Handwriting Improvement, Calligraphy, Abacus Maths, Vedic Maths, Phonics and various Craft & Artforms — Madhubani, Mandala, Warli, Gond, Lippan Art, Kalighat, Kalamkari, Pichwai, Cheriyal, Kerala Mural, Pattachitra, Tanjore Painting, One Stroke Painting, Decoupage, Image Transfer, Resin Art, Fluid Art, Alcohol Ink Art, Pop Art, Knife Painting, Scandinavian Art, Water Colors, Coffee Painting, Pencil Shading, Resin Art Advanced etc. at pan-India locations. With our mission to inspire, educate, empower & uplift people through our endeavours, we have trained & operationally supported (and continue to support) 1500+ home-makers to become Penkraft Certified Teachers? in various disciplines.
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odrseasonone · 2 years
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Character Changing Arc
Character Changing Arc
Trifecta
How character views the world
How character views self
Stakes/Motives/What the character wants
Real change occurs when these are no longer compatible w one another and thus something in the trifecta is forced to give way, often the stakes/movite aspect
Because of these shifts the character begins to first make small decisions differently and then big ones differently
Failures make this more convincing on this journey. Multiple facets of the character must change.
Strategies for inspiring this shift of pov: often achieved by either changing the character’s situation completely a la Jaime Lannister, and/or putting them in close proximity with a good influence/inspiration/compelling reason to shift a la Beast from Beauty & the Beast.
STRATEGIES FOR EXECUTION OF CHANGE
Consider 3-act structure for their arc. Place a big decision (often each of these three mirroring one another w a diff decision each time) towards the end of each act with up and down currents steadily in between slowly rising overall towards crescendo. 
For example w a redemption arc (any character can have a redemption arc of sorts btw im not just talking about baddies: whether a redemption from some lil mistake in a good character like evie learning to be less passive, or a more grievous redeption for horrors, like cassius overthrowing the tyrannical government he helped install), perhaps they fail in the first act, then make good, small decisions throughout the second act before failure at its end, and finally succeed in a big decision in the final act, bc it’s the failures that build tension and thus empower the arc by the end.
for a failed redemption arc, (aka when they reach that point where smth in the trifecta has to give way and either the wrong thing gives way or they can’t decide at all a la gollum in ttt or javert in les mis, respectively), consider the thematic purpose bc this can undermine tension and feel hollow if its not underpinned by a theme, like tolkien’s theme or mercy, etc.
When a redemptive arc comes full circle, the character must often make amends. A good strategy for showing this is symmetry and poetic justice. The character makes a decision they never could have made before, reflecting prev flaws or wrongdoings, which is more emotionally resonant bc it shows how far they’ve come and how deeply they now understand the harm they caused in the past.
Mending (or trying to mend) relationships and preventing future harm is a must if the character goes on after the redemption arc/for the arc to not feel hollow. You can’t always undo the wrong you’ve done and sometimes other characters simply can’t forgive but the character must try to make amends. Often the storyline here is structured around who suffers the consequences of the mistakes. A redemption that comes from who was effected most is most satisfying.
Alternately, redemption = death
Pitfalls: a sudden turn face doesn’t necessarily allow the character to grasp the horror and trauma inflicted on others, and sometimes it’s easy to miss whether the character truly regrets what they did in the past.  Sometimes giving their life is seen as the most meaningful thing they can give up in the face of what they’ve done, but if the character dies too suddenly, they escape, or appear to escape, the consequences of facing victims, mending relationships, and dealing w ongoing guilt that showcase a true change of heart.
Strategies: deal w consequences throughout or towards end of arc before dying; giving the death itself that symmetry of opposite choice
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meetmeatthecoda · 3 years
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For the directors cut, Harbor. A personal favorite of mine. Thanks Coda! 😁
TALEEEEEEE 🥳🥳🥳 Thank you so much for this, you are the sweetest, I had no idea you loved Harbor so much, that warms my heart!! 🥰🥰 I shall put some bullet points below the cut, I hope you like them!! ❤️
Before I get into the fic: I like the title of this one!! I usually like my titles to have more than one meaning & that's definitely true of this one!! The whole showdown occurs at an actual harbor, of course, (I think I may have gotten that for the promo for 6.22 but I'm not sure??) BUT it also refers to the fact that Liz was trying to BE a harbor for Red by sheltering & protecting him from McMahon.
Ah yes, I liked the simplicity of the first line here & the fact that I could easily carry it through the rest of the fic as the general theme.
I also remember how long I had to google search before I figured out how to spell McMahon's name & I STILL had to copy & paste it bc I don't think it sounds at all how it's spelled & my brain couldn't handle it LOL
Ahhhhh, I loved including that little bit in the ammunition room at the Post Office, I had a very specific mental image for that: Liz loading a shot gun like a bad-ass & Red watching her & doing the Great Tongue Reaction LOL
I loved making McMahon just... a giant bitch, like comic-book-villain level awful & tbh? Don't regret it lmfao
Oooooh, I remembering loving the phrase "sharpening her vision and making her trigger finger itch." I just thought that was so visceral & intense.
I loved detailing Liz's protectiveness over Red in her physical actions & harried thoughts, it was fun to build that up along with the tension.
I liked writing the verbal sparring between Liz & McMahon, while keeping Liz very calm & determined bc there's simply no canon way she will allow harm to befall Red & that was the whole point of this fic.
And I liked the parallel of Liz having to shoot ANOTHER Attorney General - McMahon AND Tom Connolly - both times of pure protective instinct for Red cause 😏😏😏 yes
And I just love the “You really are a stupid bitch, aren’t you?” line. I always cackle when I read that, it feels like Liz reached across the distance between them & bitch-slapped her in the face ahahahaha
I loved that Liz's love confession is the thing to propel Red into speaking his first line, which is of course Lizzie's name, & he of course urges her not to shoot someone to save him again. I wanted that sacrificial aspect of their relationship to be front & center.
And the “I killed the first one for him too.” seemed like the perfect "OOOOOOOOOO" moment before Liz shoots McMahon & I just liked how business-like it all is, how Liz has absolutely no hesitation about killing whoever is trying to destroy Red bc tbh? That's canon.
And I loved bringing back the opening line right before the making out starts, I liked that all the emotion just has them barreling to that point & let's be honest, if Red & Liz aren't barreling towards making out, is it really a fic of mine? lmfaooo
Also apparently I have a thing for Red's reaction to Liz planting one on him being a surprised gasp against her lips bc I think I've written that in basically every single one of my fics lmfao #noregrets
(And oooooooh I forgot about that lion line, oooooooh, yep, that still seems very "Red" to me lol, I like it)
But honestly, the make-out scene was so. fun. to. write. I remember very specifically wanting to include Liz getting so carried away that she forgets Red is handcuffed & he has to urge her to uncuff him so he can participate ahahaha plus I liked the addition of the red marks on his wrists from where he was straining against them bc he wanted to touch her 😏😏😏
And oooooh, the line about them being by the harbor & her wanting to drown in him, I remember that coming surprisingly naturally & being happy it worked out so nicely with the setting LOL
And oh god, I have such a thing for Liz parroting back Red's canon lines of devotion to prove her own, I just love that cauSE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY GREAT FULL CIRCLE MOMENT IN THE SHOW BUT WHATEVER I'M NOT BITTER IT'S FINE
And Red finally forgiving her for turning him in bc she saved his life felt... right, just natural & neat & tidy, plus I wanted that animosity resolved between them to give the story a nice ending.
Speaking of endings, here's some actual BTS info: I remember struggling over how to end this. I had a couple different scenarios in mind & it took a long time to decide on one. I think the first draft had Dembe arriving to whisk them away into hiding & the second draft had Papa Coops & the Justice League arriving to arrest them, but ultimately I didn't like either of those & I decided to leave it more open-ended. That's why I included that paragraph of Liz thinking 'maybe Cooper will arrest them or maybe they'll fly away but it doesn't matter bc they're together.'
I loved throwing the beginning line in there at the end as well!! I love symmetry, so I always attempt to draw a line through the whole fic to create a satisfying ending that ties back to the beginning or the title!! I get such satisfaction out of that whenever I accomplish it!!
Welp, there you go, my friend, I hope there was something mildly interesting in here & not just me ranting about how much I like writing Red & Liz making out!! 😂😂 Regardless, I hope you liked this, thank you so much for asking for it, & much love to you, my friend!! ❤️
Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut
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Let's talk about my favorite constant!
The constant is called Khinchin's constant K_0≈2.685.... Because tumblr isn't LaTeX integrated, I will have to keep the symbolic math to a minimum. It's about continued fractions. I won't go into the proof because it would be too symbolic and make this post even bigger than it already is. I'm gonna try to assume very little going into this. If stuff is unclear, please ask questions. If I am being too obvious, tell me.
So, let's say you had a real number x between 0 and 1. Then, x has a continued fraction 1/(a_1+1/(a_2+1/(a_3+...))), where all of the a_i are positive integers. What can be said about the terms a_i in the continued fraction? One might think...you can't say anything because you don't know what x is. You would be right. So, let's rephrase that question. What can usually be said about the terms in the continued fraction? To which, you may feel inclined to give the same response. But! there's actually a lot you can say about "most real number's continued fractions." So, what properties hold...usually?
Khinchin's constant! Khinchin proved that, if you take a real number x and consider its continued fraction sequence, then the geometric mean of the terms in the continued fraction sequence is usually K_0. That is to say, (a_1*a_2*a_3*...*a_n)^(1/n) usually converges to the same number K_0, and K_0 is Khinchin's constant. This property is perfectly fine to talk about for numbers outside of the interval (0,1) because we just ignore the first integer term outside of the fraction; we still use the same limit when we look at x=a_0+1/(a_1+1/(a_2+...)).
So, what do we mean by usually? For those with some knowledge of measure theory, we are talking about almost everywhere. For those with some probability theory background, we are talking about probability 1. For those without those backgrounds, think about the following. You take a dart and you throw it onto a square dartboard. No matter how well you throw (assuming you don't somehow have perfect aim), the probability that the x-coordinate satisfies the Khinchin's constant property is 1. That doesn't mean that it is always true though! There are an uncountable number of those x coordinates so the probability of hitting say x=1/2 or x=1/3 is 0. What's weirder is that there are an uncountable sets that will be hit with probability 0, like the Cantor set. We say that the sets with probability 0 of being hit almost never occur and those with probability 1 almost always occur.
Okay, so now that we know that this is almost always true. Let's look at some examples of it being true. uh. hm. wait. well, it can't work for rational numbers because that limit isn't even defined because there are only finitely many of those a_i's. It, um, isn't true for e, or quadratic irrational numbers because they have some symmetries that prevent it. Well, how about π? Everybody loves π? Well, frankly we don't know. Fine! It must at least work for Khinchin's constant itself? Again, unsure. Mathematicians haven't proven that the property holds for literally any number beyond those specifically constructed to work. Yet, it's still true for almost all of them.
Okay, fine. It almost always works...but...wait a minute...
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It's true! The probability of a real number having this Khinchin's constant property is 1, but! The probability of a sequence of positive integers having the Khinchin's constant property is typically 0 by the Law of Large Numbers (unless your integer random variable just so happens to satisfy E[log(X)]=log(K₀)). This means that real numbers have some hidden structure that almost guarantees this property.
Now, finally, about that subscript: it does actually mean something. A more general result says that ((a_1^r+a_2^r+...+a_n^r)/n)^(1/r) as n goes to infinity almost always converges to the same constant K_r. It just so happens that as r approaches 0, this becomes a geometric mean and you get Khinchin's constant!
Btw, that Gru meme is from a presentation I made about this. PM me if you want the pdf from the presentation.
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supremeuppityone · 4 years
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Chapter 119: Part 2 — What Makes Up a Monster
Author’s note: This is a sequel to Chapter 47 - What Makes Up a Monster in my series, A Beautiful Symmetry. This was written for Klaroline Bingo @klaroline-events. P.S. See if you can spot my shameless plug for another of my stories. :)
Part 3 can be found here.
Prompt: “What do you mean you’re a vampire?” Klaus may have played the lead in a wildly successful monster movie franchise, but it never occurred to him that there was any truth to the stories.
Warning: Angst. Also, some sexy times! Plus, I lost count of all the TO shade. :)
“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that's all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild.” ― Stephen King, Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption: A Story from Different Seasons
           Maybe the plastic vines wrapped around that twit’s neck would strangle her. Caroline watched in irritation as the twit actress Camille pretended to struggle with the vines, whose pointy thorns were somehow supposed to mean the demise of Klaus’ character, Hell’s Hybrid. They were a couple of weeks into filming the movie in the immensely popular franchise, Hell’s Hybrid 5: Terrible Tears in New Orleans, and Camille’s hilariously awful overacting coupled with her exaggerated facial expressions only had gotten worse.
           But what had gotten better was the view. The familiar clip-clop noise of Klaus’ cloven hooves drew her attention, and she eyed his muscular chest appreciatively. It had been decades since a human had captured her interest like this; every covert wink and sly smirk of his had her blushing like a schoolgirl and she couldn’t wait to drag him back to his trailer for some in-depth makeup removal.
           Their initial meeting had been memorable — he’d assumed she was either a stripper or a hooker his brother had hired, and she’d been so charmed by his appreciation for ‘60s horror movie makeup that she’d thrown caution to the wind and revealed that she’d been the mastermind who’d created those designs. Because she was a vampire.
           “What do you mean you’re a vampire?” Klaus’ reaction hadn’t been unexpected once he’d seen her black veins and sharp fangs, but once he’d calmed down, he’d bombarded her with questions about her experience in the movie industry over the past century. His enthusiasm was endearing. Klaus had been reduced to a wide-eyed fanboy when he heard about his favorite actors from his childhood.  
           “You mean the Pageant Screams reaper’s stunt double also was in Chupacabra Cheerleaders? AND he ad-libbed that harvest scene in Cutthroat Coven?”
           “Yes, and then the writers forgot to tie his speech back into the main plot, so there were all kinds of embarrassing loopholes with the harvest witches’ ancestral magic. So, I just added more blood spurts to the makeup special effects to distract the audience,” she cheekily explained, heart fluttering a bit at Klaus’ delighted laughter.
           “Doesn’t someone’s nose need to be powdered,” Camille snidely asked, jarring Caroline from her thoughts.
           Caroline blinked back her monster who’d been a bit on edge after she missed her snack because the extras required prosthetic touchups. Twit actress did not want to light this particular fuse. “Yours certainly does, but I sent one of the PAs for the really big sponges first. It must be awful to be cursed with an oil slick for skin.”
           She’d always been a petty bitch, and there was nothing more satisfying than putting someone in their place right after they’d failed to put her in hers. Caroline’s blue eyes twinkled with malice as Camille valiantly searched for a comeback.
           They both were distracted when the scene broke and Klaus began to towel off, sending Caroline a flirtatious wink that made her cheeks turn rosy. Camille hissed venomously in her ear, “Just remember, you’ll never be more than Klaus Mikaelson’s side piece.”
           “Easy, love,” Klaus murmured as he reached her side, “I assume you’ve no interest in showing your lovely second visage to the rest of the crew?”
           Caroline rolled her eyes as they walked back to his trailer. “Your groupies are getting ridiculous. This morning, I caught the one with the perpetual pout adding laxatives to my spiced chai.”
           “Bloody hell — we should report that to Enzo. As director, he could kick her off the movie.”
           She was touched by the concern she heard in his voice, but she waited until they were safely inside his trailer before she kissed him. “You’re sweet, but it’s not necessary. Most human drugs have little effect on my kind. Besides, I really enjoyed making her think she’d drank my tea by mistake.”
           Klaus chuckled as he sat beside her on the couch. “I suppose you’ve acquired...groupies over the years as well,” he asked, determinedly trying to keep his tone light.
           “I’ve never been one for blood bunnies,” Caroline sarcastically replied, hating the twinge she felt when their conversations brushed up against anything too real. “Besides, human relationship are hard — they pretty much have to give up their world for yours in order to keep your secret. It’s not an easy life.”
           The small circles he traced on her back were soothing. His voice was hesitant as he commented, “It sounds lonely. I can’t imagine what it would be like to not have...” he quieted, an awkward silence between them as Caroline realized he was going to say family.
           It was one of the first things he’d asked about once he’d gotten over his shock at her revelation of the supernatural world. He was very close with his siblings, and it seemed to pain him to learn that she didn’t have a family. Smiling brightly, she laced their fingers together and teased, “It’s not so bad. I’ve gotten to meet giants in the industry — Lugosi, Garbo, Hepburn, Crawford...you...” she trailed off with a knowing smile.
           He snorted softly, “I’m not an industry giant.”
           “Not yet,” she replied, playfully poking one of his dimples. “But I predict Klaus Mikaelson will go on to do great things.”
           Klaus’ gray eyes suddenly lit up, his handsome face breaking out into a silly grin as he told her excitedly, “Actually, I do have some news that I’m really excited to share. I received word today that I’ve been cast as the co-lead in A Simple Kind of Man!”
           Caroline let out an excited squeal at his news. Industry insiders were vying for a piece of Spielberg’s bold, sweeping Norse saga. Even a year out from pre-production, it already had garnered more than its fair share of Oscar buzz. “That’s amazing news,” she replied, pulling him in for a fierce hug, “I told you you’d be a giant in this industry! With your talent, it was just a matter of time!”
           He laughed, a slight flush staining his cheeks as he enthusiastically continued, “My agent and publicist are planning a big media blitz, so you can’t say anything yet, but this adds a whole new layer to my career. I can parley this opportunity into even bigger and better roles and create a legacy; I’ll be more than just a mere footnote in the industry.”
           Her smile dimmed at his words, but she did her best to keep it in place. She’d watched Klaus on and off the set over the past couple of weeks and he breathed so much life into the silly Hell’s Hybrid franchise. He was meant to be a star. He craved it. He wanted to settle into a career that lasted decades; to become the next McKellen or Hopkins. It would be an amazing life for him. And one she couldn’t be a part of.
           “Sweetheart, what is it?”
           She shook her head, blue eyes shining with unshed tears that she furiously blinked away. It was stupid to mourn something before it had the chance to become something. “It’s nothing. I’m really happy for you, Klaus. It’s everything that you deserve and I know you’ll be amazing.” She lowered her gaze, unsure of how to explain. “You desire the spotlight, and I want you to have it. But being what I am, it’s a place I can’t follow.”
           His crestfallen expression hurt her heart, and she gave a half-shrug, chuckling darkly, “Us monsters have to stick to the shadows.”
           “You’re not a monster,” Klaus quickly disagreed, “and the time we’ve spent getting to know each other has been amazing. We’re building toward something that could be incredible — don’t you want that?”
           Damn it. His pleading, earnest tone made Caroline want to weep. “Of course I do.” She held his face in her hands, desperate for him to understand. “But your world is about to get a lot bigger and way more complicated. That spotlight you crave is blinding and everyone will want a piece of you. And they’ll definitely want to know everything there is to know about the mysterious makeup artist who’s caught your eye.”
           Her voice became a harsh whisper. “My survival depends on anonymity. It’s not how I want it, but that’s the way it has to be.” She surged forward, capturing his lips with hers. They’d carried on a flirty relationship since they began working together, trading a few sweet kisses here and there, but it was nothing compared to this. This was fire and carnal need and her skin vibrated under his roaming touch as they sank together on the couch.
           Klaus pulled back slightly, his lips still hovering over hers and his tone rueful as he asked, “How are we supposed to walk away from this?”
           A tear escaped as she replied with a soft sigh, “We just have to.” Caressing his cheek, she tentatively questioned, “But maybe we could have this first. Can one night be enough?”
           Gray eyes blazed as he swore, “One night with you would never be enough. But it will have to do.” He brought his mouth down on hers in a punishing kiss, his hands roaming over her body as though trying to memorize every line.
           She purred in delight when he yanked her fuchsia tank top over her head, nibbling at his collarbone as he groaned above her. All those hours he’d spent in her makeup chair had been sweet torture as she’d done her best to avert her eyes from the tight-fitting shorts he always wore. But now, she let her hands roam with wild abandon, eagerly palming him as his flesh twitched in pleasure.
           “I want you,” she panted, hooking her thumbs under his waistband to slide down the material underneath his rock-hard cock. She let out a giggle as he accidentally kicked over the side table, scattering his werewolf claws and cloven hooves.
           With a sexy growl, he ducked his curly head to lightly bite at her exposed hip, dragging down her ruffled skirt until she was bare before him. His lusty gaze made her feel desired. Like she wasn’t a monster. Caroline let fingers wander down her belly, teasing him as she barely grazed her clit.
           “Fuck yes,” Klaus breathed, staring hungrily at her.
           He liked to watch. She licked her lips when he joined her, their fingers gently sliding into her warmth, slow, steady pumps that built up that golden sensation to make her weak. She was so close to the edge, but he pulled away at the last moment, plunging their fingers into his mouth with a satisfied grin.
           She parted her thighs, a low moan escaping her lips as he positioned his slick tip, slowly rubbing against her. That first thrust wrecked her, their bodies crashing against each other as she cried out in pleasure. It was a thing of beauty to watch his muscles flex and strain to please her, and she wrapped her legs around his waist to bring him closer. She needed to touch every part of him.
           Klaus bucked into her, keeping up the punishing pace as she started to ride out the waves of ecstasy. One final, deliciously dirty grind had them both seeing stars, their moans threading together in a steady hum of bliss.
           “You’re a bloody revelation,” he panted, pulling her into his arms as they settled back on the couch.
           Caroline breathed in Klaus’ citrus and cedar scent, idly wondering if she’d carry him on her skin once they were done. She wanted to remember everything from this moment. “And you’re wonderful,” she sighed regretfully.
           His embrace immediately tightened, and she did her best to relax her body against his. Klaus’ tone was gruff as he asked, “So, this is it — we somehow manage to walk away?”
           This is it. Caroline knew all of her reasons by heart — even if Klaus had no intention of pursuing fame, he’d never be able to keep her secret — he and his siblings were close and at some point, he’d feel that burden of not being honest with them. Plus, he loved being a star. And as his star shined brighter, paparazzi would swarm them, picking apart every detail of their lives. And then they might find out about her.
           Heart thudding in her chest, she leaned over to give him a lingering kiss, traitorous tears clinging to her lashes by the time it ended. Once he opened his eyes, she took a breath, hating what would happen next. “Klaus, I want you to listen.” It was difficult to keep her tone even and melodic, but she pressed on knowing it was important that she did this right. She summoned her monster, letting her eyes widen as she captured his gaze.  
           He looked at her with so much trust. There was a sadness that settled over him, almost as though he instinctively knew what was she was going to do. “I wish I could trust you, but I can’t take the risk. This is how I survive. It was impulsive and stupid for me to show you what I am, but we had this connection and I couldn’t help myself. I’m selfish.”
           Caroline hated his blank stare. The one that she put there. “You won’t remember the time we’ve spent together. You won’t remember what I am. I’m merely a makeup artist for your movie and while we’ve exchanged a few words, you barely know me.”
           “I barely know you,” Klaus mumbled flatly, still dazed from her compulsion.
           She choked back a sob, quickly pulling on her clothes and leaving his trailer. She didn’t look back.
                           _________________________________________
           She’d mercifully managed to avoid Klaus the next day, compelling Enzo to insist Davina handle Klaus’ monster makeup while she focused on the group of extras that were filming the Abattoir scene. The unnecessarily darkscene because Enzo stupidly had thought that he was establishing a gothic atmosphere, but instead would just give the moviegoers eyestrain when they tried to see the actors. She threaded her way through the giggling extras, in desperate need of a caffeine fix if she was going to make it through the day’s grueling shooting schedule.
           “Come on, you’re telling me you’ve never hit that?”
           Caroline stopped short, realizing that was Tyler’s voice. Tyler was part of Klaus’ growing entourage, and his main function seemed to be partying on Klaus’ dime. One more exclusive Arcadius diamond timepiece and she was compelling Tyler to give sponge baths at the retirement home in the Valley.  
           She cautiously peeked around the edge of the fireplace set, noting with a pang that Klaus somehow looked even better today. Of course he would — he hadn’t been up tossing and turning all night. Because he didn’t remember.
           He ran a hand through his curls, tossing an irritated look at Tyler. “Caroline’s a makeup artist for this movie and while we’ve exchanged a few words, I barely know her.” Fuck. Caroline felt that all the way down to her toes. You did this. Those are the words you compelled Klaus to say. You aren’t allowed to be upset.
           “Whatever. She’d probably be a clingy one-night stand anyway.”
           Klaus glared at Tyler, a hint of a growl in his tone as he said, “Don’t be daft. I suspect one night would never be enough.”
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wisdomrays · 4 years
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TAFAKKUR: Part 287
SYMMETRY AND BEAUTY
When visiting Moscow University, Paul Adrien Maurice Dirac, the famous physicist and the founder of Quantum Mechanics, as well as being the fifteenth Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge University, was asked about his philosophy in physics and he wrote on a blackboard “physical laws should have mathematical beauty.” This phrase remains preserved on the same blackboard today. As Sir Michael Berry said at the opening of Dirac House in 1997, “he showed that the simplest wave satisfying the requirements was not a simple number but consisted of four components. This seemed like to complicate matters, especially for those minds that were still reeling from the unfamiliarity of “ordinary” quantum mechanics. Four components! Why should anybody take Dirac’s theory seriously? Foremost and above all for Dirac was the fact that the logic leading to the theory was, although deeply sophisticated, in a sense beautifully simple. Much later, when someone asked him “what do you think of the equation?” he is said to have replied: “I think that it is beautiful.” In fact, Professor Dirac knew that very significant mathematical equations occur in all created things. Even though these consist of deeply sophisticated matters, at the same time they occur with a beautiful simplicity and are a clear description of the action of creation of the Eternally Besought of All. When we examine his quotation in this light, we are better able to understand what he meant.
Be they physical or chemical, many attributes of beings are dependent on mathematical laws and their appearances are also shaped along mathematical principles. When we observe creation from this standpoint, we can perceive the perfection as well as the spectacular beauty that is inherent in every being. As reflections of the Attributes of the Names of God Almighty, Jamil (The Owner of Beauty), Bari (The One Who Creates from nothing), Sani (The Maker of All) and Musawwir (The Designer), this beauty found in the external appearance of beings is dependent on more than one factor coinciding. The most important factor here is “symmetry,” which is described as “an exact correspondence and beautiful balance among the parts of an object.” Beings are created with various symmetrical attributes and with great artistic beauty.
The most common symmetry type is the bilateral symmetry; this creates a mirror effect which is an exact correspondence between the right and left sides. An object forms an exact symmetry with its reflection in the mirror. A perfect symmetry that is very similar to the mirror effect can be found in the human body. The left and right sides of our body are symmetrically corresponding. Imagine a dividing line that passes from the middle of the forehead, through nose, chin and down the chest, we can see a perfect symmetry on both sides of the body. Our arms, legs, eyes, ears, nose and lips are designed with a bilateral symmetry. The same symmetrical structures can also be seen in most other creatures. All mammals, reptiles and birds are symmetrically created.
Another type of symmetry is rotational (radial) symmetry. Imagine a metal object that is in the shape of an equilateral triangular placed on the sand. If we will rotate this object 120o around an axis that passes through its center, the new position of the object will fit exactly into its original mark left on the sand. The reason for this is that the radial symmetry for equilateral triangles is 120 degrees. In the same way, a square has a radial symmetry of 90o and a regular polygon with n number of sides has a radial symmetry of 360/n degrees.
The beautiful symmetry of snow flakes, with their regular hexagonal shape are a beautiful natural phenomenon. In addition to these there are shapes in nature that have a three-dimensional radial symmetry. The most significant of these shapes are regular polyhedrons. An example of such polyhedrons is the salt crystalline elements that have cubical structures. Until recently, the fact that there is a creature in nature that has a regular polyhedral shape, consisting of twenty sides, was unknown. However, when a type of adenovirus that causes infections and hepatitis in dogs was discovered, it was found that there is a creature with twenty regular sides in nature.
One of the most beautiful samples of radial symmetry in nature is the daisy. Symmetrical structures do not only exist in the normal world and in the micro worlds, but also can be found in the macro world, like all the huge celestial objects, the Sun, the Moon, galaxies, star clusters in the sky . . . . All planets move around the Sun in a symmetrical manner, whereas galaxies have a spiral symmetry. It is interesting that the symmetrical structure of living beings is overwhelmingly apparent externally, rather than internally. For example, the internal organs in the human body, like the lungs, liver, stomach and intestines are not symmetrical and we have only one heart in one side of our chest cavity. Moreover, the lobes of the brain are not symmetrical either. However, all the metabolic processes in human body function properly. Does this mean that the mathematical beauty found in our external appearance is merely for aesthetical reasons? God does not create things for only one reason or purpose, on the contrary, He creates them to serve many motives and in relation with many functions. For example, if we did not have two eyes and if they were not symmetrically placed on our faces, we would not be able to see objects three-dimensionally. In the same way, if our ears were not symmetrically placed on our heads, then we would have great difficulty in determining the direction and source of sounds. If we did not have symmetrical feet and legs, we would not be able to walk well, and if our arms were not symmetrical, we would not be able to balance our body’s center of gravity while walking. If birds did not have symmetrical wings, they would not be able to fly, and if the fins of fishes were not symmetrical, they would not be able to swim smoothly.
Symmetry is also closely related to physical and mental robustness. According to one study, women who suffer from an infectious disease during pregnancy are more likely to have babies with asymmetrical features. The same study claims that asymmetrical babies are more susceptible to heart disease than symmetrical babies.
Another study shows that people with asymmetrical teeth are more likely to have more harmful microorganisms in their mouth than those who have symmetrical teeth. It is interesting that there tends to be a greater difference between the fingerprints on the left and right hands of schizophrenic people than on those of normal people.
Symmetry is a phenomenon that is used by animals and insects. For example, an experiment showed that bees prefer flowers that are symmetrical. Actually, flowers with perfectly symmetrical shapes produce more nectar than those that are asymmetrical. In one investigation, a symmetrical flower was made asymmetrical with a pair of scissors. The flower had been attractive to bees before its shape was changed; after made asymmetrical, the flower became unattractive to bees, even though it had just the same amount of nectar as before.
All these facts reveal that there is much wisdom and beauty hidden within the symmetry that the Almighty Designer uses to shape all beings. We take symmetry for granted. To have two eyes placed equidistance and two ears on each side of the head is the norm. Anything else strikes us as strange. But if we just take a few moments to think about why our eyes are where they are, and why our ears are placed on the sides of our heads, the answer is obvious. God’s mercy is infinite; in even the simplest example of symmetry there is a reason. We should not take this world for granted, but rather use every opportunity to dwell upon and be thankful for the wonderful world that has been created for us.
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azdoine · 5 years
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So let’s talk about them cherubs.
I think it’s no secret that Calliope and Caliborn have always been deeply gendered characters in Homestuck, but (beyond fanart and enthusiastic headcanons) I personally haven’t seen a lot of engagement with their characters on that level. The most comprehensive readings of Calliope and Caliborn that I’ve seen have always been through the lens of metatext (Calliope and Caliborn as fandom avatars) or religion (Calliope and Caliborn as Gnostic figures).
With that in mind, I want to talk about the ways in which Calliope and Caliborn are gendered in Homestuck, and offer my own amateur reading of Calliope as a trans allegory.
Full disclosure, I love the epilogues, but I won’t be engaging with them here -- I view them as extracanonical, which is to say, I’d like to talk about them and their own presentation of Calliope’s story in another post.
Also, it’s Homestuck, so, you know. Sex, death, violence, and bigotry under the cut:
If we’re to read Calliope as a trans allegory, then we don’t need to look very far for evidence, because the text is very straightforward in suggesting it.
Almost as soon as we meet Calliope in the flesh for the first time, we’re confronted with the bleak reality of her desire for a more feminine embodiment:
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'Callie Ohpeee’ serves as an aspirational figure for Calliope on multiple levels. Most obviously, she’s a vehicle for Calliope’s self-insertion into the wider world of paradox space and the alpha timeline (i.e. her self-insertion into the story of Homestuck); Callie Ohpeee is able to freely and directly interact with the elements and characters of the story that Calliope adores, while Calliope cannot. Somewhat less obviously, Calliope’s trollsona also serves as a way for her to imagine herself in non-caliginous relationships (which she desires on some level, but she feels she has been denied by her biology).
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However, Calliope’s trollsona isn’t just a vehicle for her relationships and engagement with other people. Calliope’s trollsona is also key to the way in which Calliope desires to relate to herself.
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Calliope desires to be attractive and feminine for her own sake: she desires to be beautiful and pretty, and her trollsona serves as the vehicle by which she satisfies this desire.
Calliope’s trollsona is quite literally her idealized feminine self, and so her relaxing “solo cosplay” sessions bring nothing more to mind than a trans woman privately enjoying a feminine presentation in the closet, as many trans women have. Her costumery and face paint imply clothes and makeup, and Caliborn takes on the role of a patriarch or patriarchy that tries to control her.
Ultimately, though, Calliope’s embodiment desires are cosmically validated by the unfolding drama of paradox space. Calliope is tormented by the apparent fact that she isn’t and can’t be Callie Ohpeee, but nevertheless, she successfully inserts herself into the lives of the alpha kids and the unfolding of the alpha timeline, forms the kinds of relationships that she wants, and receives the regard that she wants. She dies and takes on the form of her trollsona in the dream bubbles, and even when she’s physically reborn as her cherub self, she’s still “Callie” to Roxy, a meaningful nickname that goes basically unspoken.
Pretty straightforward, right? A trans girl learns that she and her body aren’t unlovable, makes friends and forms bonds as her true self, and escapes the reach of the forces that once abused her.
FEARFUL SYMMETRY
Before we can close the door on a trans reading of Calliope, we also have to consider Calliope and Caliborn as a pair, and not least because the two of them literally share the same body. Fair warning, we’re only going to get more speculative (and more indulgent) going forward.
Calliope and Caliborn are presented, at least superficially, as absolute and dichotomous opposites. They are two spirits that cannot coexist at once within the same body; their respective attitudes and temperaments couldn’t be any more different, and they are, of course, Muse and Lord: quintessentially passive and quintessentially active.
However, Calliope and Caliborn aren’t so different as one might think. Despite Caliborn’s violent protestations to the contrary, they share key characterizing interests in the likes of shipping...
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...and art:
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Caliborn is infamous for his disgust and anger with the absurdity of paradox space (i.e. his anger with the text of Homestuck itself), but Calliope is easily provoked into displaying the exact same petulant frustration with the direction of the story and the unfolding of events around her.
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Calliope and Caliborn are consistently unified within the text -- not as incompatible opposites, but as two sides of the same coin. In Complacency of the Learned, Calliope and Caliborn are personified in the singular, androgynous Calmasis. In his chess match with Calliope, Caliborn disguises his king as his queen, and vice versa, signifying a mutual transgression and inversion of gender; Caliborn steals Calliope’s hemotyping and typing quirk, just as alternate!Calliope does the same to him, in a mutual appropriation not just of quirk (i.e. voice and presentation), but of blood, or life. On the level of the body, Caliborn’s skin is inextricably marked by the green that signifies Calliope, and Calliope is inextricably marked by Caliborn’s skull: the deaths-head he would inflict upon all life (and a hyperrealization of the masculine or unfeminine bone structure that troubles many trans women).
Most significantly, Aranea indicates to us that Calliope and Caliborn actually began as one being, which then went on to fracture into a male and female aspect, striving with and against each other -- a creation myth for gender and sexuality itself, in the vein of Plato’s Symposium, Rabbinic lore on Adam and Eve, and (rather topically) Hedwig and the Angry Inch.
With their fundamental unity in mind, we can read Calliope and Caliborn not just as ‘brother and sister’, but rather as two identities, personas, or aspects of one person. This is why, for example, calling a cherub by one of their two names brings that personality to the surface -- because, on a literal or symbolic level, it constitutes the active validation of that personality and identity, and the abject denial of the other.
Does all of this suggest a bigender, genderfluid, or otherwise non-binary reading of Calliope and Caliborn? Maybe, but let’s keep going, first.
Aranea’s exposition tells us that even adult, mature, ‘binary’ cherubs are still figures of gender duality, inversion, and transgression. Mating cherubs take on the forms of dueling cosmic serpents -- the sex act occurs between two hyperreal phallic symbols, suggesting male homosexuality in specific and queerness more broadly. It was Calliope’s biological father who ultimately submitted to their biological mother, and thus it was Calliope’s biological father who laid their egg, while their biological mother was the one to fertilize it, revealing the separation of sexual anatomy and power relations from gender among cherubs.
The gender dualities, inversions, and transgressions at play can still exist within cherubs who are, by all accounts, decisively male or female in gender identity -- despite the lack of of any way to assign them a sex or gender from the outside. 
The dueling personalities within each young cherub are siblings to each other, but they are also different possible selves that the cosmically-transgender cherub might become as they grow to adulthood -- just as the dueling alternate selves of so many other characters can illuminate their own internal conflicts. In Homestuck, the inner life is always prone to manifest in the outer life, again and again.
I TRAGICALLY LOST A SISTER TO MURDER
Having established a reading of Calliope and Caliborn as two identities within one person -- as ‘Calmasis’ at odds with themself, containing multitudes and torn between them -- we can move on to look at the way Calliope and Caliborn relate to each other, and to gender, in order to get the bigger picture.
Caliborn introduces himself to us as undyingUmbrage, a username of largely straightforward meaning. His umbrage -- his anger, irritation, annoyance, or offense in the face of the world -- is neverending, everlasting, and eternal, and so too is his own life. Caliborn is immortal, allowing him to carry his rage forward forever.
If Caliborn’s username is simple, then Calliope’s is more sophisticated, which fits their characters. As uranianUmbra, her title invokes most obviously Uranus the planet and Urania the heavenly muse, but also the ‘uranian’, Karl Ulrichs’ antiquated title for gay men and trans women: those with an anima muliebris virili corpore inclusa, “a woman’s soul enclosed in a man’s body.” As the umbra, or darkest shadow, she invokes the Jungian shadow archetype, the suppressed, unconscious, or rejected aspect of the self.
As such, Calliope identifies and codes herself both as transfeminine and as Caliborn’s allegorical shadow archetype -- a part of himself that he can neither accept, acknowledge, or escape, perpetually haunting him. In-universe, Calliope names herself after Uranus’ topspin, and the ‘English’ of a cue-ball that it echoes -- thus, she implicitly identifies herself and the trans feminine uranian with the cue-ball that threatens Caliborn and Lord English. She symbolically establishes herself and the trans feminine as Caliborn’s only intrinsic vulnerabilities!
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And on some level, Calliope tells us all of this! Because while Caliborn wants to destroy Calliope, she hopes to make him like her:
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Calliope manifests a sincere investment in so many of the things that Caliborn orbits at a distance. Thus, to Caliborn, she represents a threat from within to his ability to maintain distance, because on some level, she serves as a manifestation of his own desire to draw closer. She confronts him with the reality of his own desire, or at least, with the latent possibility of his own sincere investment -- she serves to remind him that anyone who can waste as much time on creating Homosuck as he does is both an invested creative and sincerely invested in Homestuck on some level.
And it’s much the same on the level of gender, too. Calliope serves as a sincere reflection of the gender identity that Caliborn can only orbit at a distance. It was, after all, Caliborn’s idea to swap the king and queen chess pieces, and to disguise them as each other. Calliope lashes out at him because he cannot do so earnestly: because Caliborn makes a shitty twist out of his insincere production, because he can’t commit to swapping the places of the king and queen, and because he abuses Calliope’s willingness to swap the pieces (because he abuses and misdirects her inclination to gender transgression, and by extension, betrays the premises of his own idea).
This is why Caliborn kills Calliope’s dreamself instead of predominating over her in the conventional way -- not just because it’s easier and more convenient for him, but because his predomination would mean “consuming” her personality and “integrating” with it. It would constitute an integration with his shadow archetype, and thus, on some level, a partial destruction of the persona and ego he has established for himself. To Caliborn, as pathological as he has become, any level of integration with Calliope represents an existential threat, and so he has to cut her out of himself like a cancer.
But even having cut Calliope out of himself, Caliborn cannot escape her. By cutting her out of himself, he has defined himself around the hole she has left in him -- he has permanently divorced himself of the opportunity to integrate with her or accept what she represents. While both Caliborn and alt!Calliope take up each other’s typing quirks as a sign of victory, Caliborn takes Calliope’s quirk as a way by which he can signal his ‘wholeness’:
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And this is, of course, complete bullshit and posturing of the highest order. Andrew Hussie not only directly characterizes the conflict between Caliborn and Calliope as an inner conflict within him, but he also tells him that his only path to maturity and personal growth was through integration with Calliope.
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Not to be denied, Caliborn continues to constantly assert the self-justifying completion and authority of his masculinity, for himself and for others...
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...but even so, he still can’t help but betray himself and his own idealized masculinity:
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Masc4masc, Caliborn certainly isn’t! In his creative endeavors, he telegraphs his ultimate disgust for masculinity. He needs to draw out the femininity he wants to see in men -- he acts out gruesome, hateful misogyny against women, but even as he murders so many of the women of his manga or otherwise ejects them from his story, he’s still compelled to recreate femininity and symbolically recreate womanhood within the male cast he has left behind.
And he’s not just motivated by homophobia and a disgust for men who are intimate with other men! Nor is he just motivated by a desire to place these feminized characters below him. Just as Calliope does sincerely with her Callie Ohpeee trollsona, Caliborn is compelled to feminize his own self-insert, the crude rendition of Lord English he creates for his own satisfaction. Given free reign to depict himself and insert himself into his story however he likes, Caliborn opts to turn away from the full thrust of hypermasculinity, and he makes himself beautiful and gorgeous.
And as soon as he does so, Caliborn’s repressed attraction to Calliope erupts again:
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This isn’t just the matter of blackrom incest that the text superficially suggests; even on a purely textual level, due to the alien nature of their relationship, Caliborn only barely regards Calliope as a sister, and he certainly has no problem with objectifying and sexualizing all of the other women he hates.
No, Caliborn has to repress his attraction to Calliope because, given their shared form, his attraction to her as a woman necessarily constitutes an implicit recognition that he could be attractive as a woman, and his body could be attractive as a woman’s body.
Caliborn can never accept that, and he’ll never directly address it or engage with it. He’ll never think about what all of this means for him, or act on his idle fantasies. The time for turning back is well behind him.
He is, now and forever, exactly the kind of angry and disaffected chud who will never unplug from 4chan or stop masturbating to awful trap hentai. He has deliberately imprisoned himself within the teleology of his own self-confirming hegemonic masculinity, and he thinks it is glorious.
THE DEMON IS ALREADY HERE
To fully understand Caliborn, of course, we need to understand Lord English.
If Caliborn has imprisoned himself within his own assertions, then Lord English is the embodiment of those assertions, and Caliborn’s transformation into Lord English is his ultimate apotheosis: having murdered his shadow and excised her spirit from within himself, his transformation enables him to excise her from without. His ascension allows him not only to purge Calliope’s visage from his body, closing off the possibilities once implied and allowed by his youthful and androgynous form, but also to recreate, reconfirm, and relive his victory over Calliope at every turn.
To understand what I mean by that, let’s look at the characters and components who go into Lord English, starting with Equius.
Equius, is, of course, a long-form joke character about the pathetic contradictions of hegemonic masculinity. In his pesterlogs, he opens every line with blatantly phallic imagery...
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But when he actually tries to handle said phallus in real life, his titanic strength prevents him from doing anything but destroying it:
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And the same goes for one of his horns, which he has apparently broken off. The autocastration symbolism is not subtle, and about the mildest thing we can conclude is that he’s a chronic, addicted masturbator who has compromised his own sexual performance.
He’s also textually obsessed with upholding the racial hegemony of the Alternian civilization...
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...but his obsession with hierarchy and dominance quickly collapses into a thin pretext for his barely-suppressed desire to submit to those who are higher than him on the hemospectrum...
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...and to those who are lower than him!
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Equius is a character intrinsically lined to the collapse and self-destruction of masculinity and male sexuality, which is topical enough that we might end there. However -- and there’s no nice way for me to say this -- we also need to establish that Equius is a necrophile and a sexual predator, too.
@mmmmalo and others have written intriguingly and at length about reading “blue beauties” as a cipher for “sexualized corpses” in Homestuck, but for Equius, it’s about as textual as it gets. Equius is explicitly sexually and romantically interested in Aradia even after her death, and his necrophillic attraction is only reinforced by the symbolism: he constructs an unliving replacement body for her, which parses most obviously as a symbolic embalming and restoration of her corpse, and he treats it like a love doll even as it’s uninhabited and lifeless. He seeks to literally transform her body into a “blue beauty” by the transfusion of his own blood, which (given the color-coding of troll body fluids) parses as a clear insemination joke about his genetic material.
We might excuse his attraction for various fantastic mitigating factors -- Aradia is, after all, still ‘alive’ in a kind of undead state -- but Equius’ more general sexual predation cannot be so easily ignored. Aradia is chronically depressed and in absolute need of the service that Equius can provide, which he uses to take advantage of her and to compromise her bodily autonomy and judgement with the device he covertly implants inside of her.
Equius is undeniably a sexual predator who constructs women’s bodies in order to further his own domination, and his own motif of sexual self-destruction and inversion puts the final dark twist on his story. He is brutally dominated by Gamzee, suffocated to death until his corpse is blue in the face, and ultimately prototyped together with AR. He finds a unique fulfillment as he becomes the object of his own desire, when he is transformed into his own cybernetic “blue beauty”.
It’s not hard for me as a trans woman to see certain tropes at play, but for those of us who aren’t up to date on foundational transmisogynistic screeds...
Today the Frankenstein phenomenon is omnipresent not only in religious myth, but in its offspring, phallocratic technology. The insane desire for power, the madness of boundary violation, is the mark of necrophiliacs who sense the lack of soul/spirit/life-loving principle with themselves and therefore try to invade and kill off all spirit, substituting conglomerates of corpses. This necrophilic invasion/elimination takes a variety of forms. Transsexualism is an example of male surgical siring which invades the female world with substitutes... The projected manufacture by men of artificial wombs, of cyborgs which will be part flesh, part robot, of clones – all are manifestations of phallocratic boundary violation. So also the behaviorism of B.F. Skinner and “physical control of the mind” through the use of implanted electrodes by such scientists as Delgado, are variations of monstrous male “motherhood”.
-Gyn/Ecology
Blanchard believes that autogynephilia is best conceived as misdirected heterosexuality. These men are heterosexual, but due to an error in the development of normal heterosexual preference, the erotic target (a woman) gets located on the inside (the self) rather than the outside...
Autogynephiles are men who have created their image of attractive women in their own bodies, an image that coexists with their original, male selves. The female self is a man-made creation. They visit the female image when they want to have sex, and some became so attached to the female image that they want it to become their one, true self...
-The Man Who Would Be Queen
But hey, does anyone else remember that time when ARquius got upset and envious because he couldn’t lactate like a mother would?
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EXTREMELY SUBTLE.
As for Equius’ fusion with the AR, or Auto-Responder, we come to Dirk Strider.
Dirk Strider is, if anything, the furthest thing imaginable from the autoerotic subject that Equius presents: he is not so much attracted to another self as he is utterly repulsed by himself in his own totality.
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Dirk Strider is a self-loathing, self-destructive, self-mutilating gay man, caught in the grips of a kind of hateful narcissism. He is not overtly trans-coded, or related to the trans feminine, but his male homosexuality ties into another, subtler form of trans feminine horror, one which Jake suggests in aside:
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Dirk Strider presents the horror of the destruction of the self and the destruction of manhood more generally, both in the service of the satisfaction of others and in the fulfillment of self-hatred. He creates and destroys himself with abandon. In Unite/Synchronize, it’s Dirk who willingly decapitates himself to cross the gulf of space and time between him and Jake, and he allows Dave to decapitate him and destroy his ‘unbreakable’ katana with Caledfwlch -- the uranian cue-ball sword that destroys masculinity -- in Collide.
And keep in mind that when Dirk decapitates himself, it’s Lil’ Hal who looks out from his severed head:
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Holy castration symbolism, batman! Remember that Hal’s shades are a part of ARquius’ own phallic imagery:
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Lil’ Hal is a phallic specter that terrorizes both Dirk and Jake on the individual level, as well as in their relationship with each other. He drives Dirk’s Brobot-self to greater aggression, he’s aggressive, condescending, and cruel with Jake in general, and he apparently manipulates events to force Jake to kiss Dirk’s severed head -- which, if we’re taking the castration metaphor seriously, basically means he forced Jake to give Dirk head. Classy.
Is it any wonder that Dirk is so compelled to lop Lil’ Hal off of himself and out of his life, no matter the ethics or implications for himself? Hal is the perfect storm and culmination of all of the worst things Dirk sees in himself, and the omniscient apotheosis of his own detatched, ultramasculine, hypercompetent, ironic persona -- all despite being treated as a 13-year-old by the text, an immature and incomplete version of Dirk.
Remind you of anyone else?
Dirk and Lil Hal are in this respect a brighter mirror of Calliope and Caliborn: they are a self divided for whom the better half has softly predominated.
Dirk probably hasn’t literally castrated himself to destroy his masculinity in the way that Caliborn has literally destroyed his own femininity; Dirk and Hal certainly aren’t so explicitly gendered or trans-coded as Calliope and Caliborn are, so it’s more difficult to read them and their relationship as trans-coded. (Unless you want to read Dirk and Hal that way, in which case, hell yeah, go forth and be valid, and link me your fanfiction, please.)
Nevertheless, Dirk’s symbolic castration and literal rejection of lil Hal represents, if nothing else, a rejection of and predomination over his most toxic aspect (and his most toxically masculine aspect), and the gruesome excision of such from his life.
But while Dirk has left his worst half behind, his worst half has gone on to supercede him: entering into union with Equius, and by extension, Caliborn.
And what of Gamzee, the most important character in the entire comic?
Well, Gamzee is, of course, another mirror to Calliope and Caliborn. Like Calliope and Caliborn -- our allegorical Calmasis -- Gamzee is caught in an erratic duality between two possibilties.
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Just like our Calmasis, Gamzee vacillates almost all through life between two fundamentally different personas. At the time of his introduction, he was someone basically passive, agreeable, and kindly -- even lovable, to the point that he still has his fans and stans to this day.
Of course, as time went on, he became more and more aggressive. Even against the backdrop of his largely passive behavior, his increasing aggression culminated in his many infamously depraved and murderously violent outbursts: a transition not incidentally marked (among other things) by his rejection of the green (and Calliope-coded) sopor slime that once helped to pacify him, and his radicalization at the hands of his future self (in Lil’ Cal).
In his typing quirk, Gamzee likewise alternates between Calliope’s lowercase and Caliborn’s uppercase:
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Definitely no themes of duality here, nope!
Most tellingly, even in his ascension to Lord English, Gamzee is also halved, just like Calliope & Caliborn: Gamzee is bisected such that only half of him enters Lil’ Cal, while half of him is left behind, utterly broken and irrelevant.
But if Gamzee is a reflection of Calliope and Caliborn, then what else does this piece of shit clown have to say about them?
Well, like Calliope, Gamzee is quite involved in his own constructed persona -- but unlike Calliope, he’s almost never regarded as anything but disgusting and pathetic.
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No amount of face paint can cover the scars across his face, and instead of covering himself up, his costume only accentuates his own body, exposing himself in the most pornographically aggressive and perverse way possible.
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Even in making himself into a clown he reaches towards something inherently absurd; something that has no existence in itself save for how comical and disgusting it is to others. His aspirations and imitations render him a walking joke and a figure of corrupt terror.
And most horribly and grotesquely, if Calliope and Caliborn are a trans allegory, and Gamzee is any kind of reflection of them, we know exactly what kind of warped and fictitious trans archetype Gamzee is:
Gamzee suggests himself as a serial killer, and he’s one who hordes corpses and steals trophies from his victims, at that.
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But there’s one more person we need to look at in this gruesome sequence: Doc Scratch, another parallel to Calliope in this incestuous slurry of signifiers. In Doc Scratch, the man with the uranian cue-ball head, we see even Calliope’s most harmless, silly traits taken to their most nightmarish and oppressive conclusions.
It’s Doc Scratch who selectively warps troll culture in order to create the world and the culture that Calliope loved so, and who meddles in the alpha timeline as he so desires; it’s he who shows just how perverse and oppressive omniscience can be, transforming all her scrapbooks and her labors of love into his own exhaustive account of the cosmos, turning her love of her favorite characters into his own callous disregard for objects to be manipulated. When he uses her own thoughtful tone, it only telegraphs menace.
And, most darkly for our own analysis, Doc Scratch is a sexual predator and a pedophile.
Almost from the start, he’s undeniably sexualized as a threat in his conversations with Vriska:
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Even his omniscience is sexualized by his own words, casting the light of his awareness as a phallic presence invading and penetrating the unknown:
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Vriska is an unreliable narrator, of course, and we might not want to read too deeply into Doc Scratch’s words. Scratch is certainly quick to assure Rose that he’s not a predator in his conversations with her...
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...but as always, the gulf between what Doc Scratch says and what he means is almost insurmountable. Doc Scratch tells Rose that he has no biological means of reproduction, but he is a conglomerate of and a vessel for multiple sexual beings, and even the castrated may experience sexual pleasure and pursue sexual ends.
Most tellingly, Doc Scratch only tells Rose that he isn’t attracted to her “in the way she means”. From an entity known for wordplay and lies of omission, this constitutes a tacit admission that he IS attracted to her in some way that she isn’t asking about.
Aradia explicitly characterizes his interference in her and Kanaya’s lives as ‘grooming’...
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And he does much the same to Damara:
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Doc Scratch is an undeniably sexual and sexualized threat.
We might ask how, exactly, he’s supposed to be attracted to Rose and the other young girls he victimizes -- and certainly I think he’s a sexual voyeur in the general case, but I think he’s also an even more abstract and pedophillic threat.
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Doc Scratch is a copy of Lil’ Cal, given life and omniscience as a First Guardian; he is the child’s toy which was once fawned over by a puppet pornographer, and he is a child-sized man. He titles himself after the Scratch process which allows children the chance to grow up, but which also transforms adults into children; he presents the absolute perverse sentimentality of all adult transgressions into the realm of childish things.
This alludes to Caliborn, of course, as the boy who cannot escape his childhood, but it’s also sexologically linked to toxic trans feminine archetypes...
Blanchard (1991) started with the idea that some cases of male-to-female gender dysphoria and transsexualism are fundamentally motivated by an ETII, in which natal males who are otherwise sexually attracted to women eroticize the idea of being women to such an extent that they want to become a woman themselves. Freund and Blanchard (1993) later extended this idea to an analogous ETII that might motivate some pedophilic men to impersonate or fantasize about being children.
It is fitting that the most compelling finding of our study—that autopedophilic men sexually attracted to girls tend to find it sexually arousing to imagine themselves as a girl—reflects the likely confluence of the two ETIIs that had been proposed many years ago: one that involves locating an individual of a different gender within one’s own body, and the other that involves locating an individual of a different age within one’s own body.
...and it’s also a searing indictment of Calliope.
To cosmic entities such as her and Scratch, how can other people be anything but objects, tools, and characters to be abused? Before the power and knowledge they might come to command, how can other people be anything but insects?
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To Scratch and Calliope, how can other people be anything but children?
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Even as Calliope becomes a mere player within the story of paradox space,  Doc Scratch accuses her of a fundamental and unwholesome transgression. She lets go of the condescending oversight she used to hold over the alpha timeline, no matter how kindly and well-meaning she was, and she descends from the omniscient authority of her lonesome ivory tower, but Doc Scratch still names her as an offense to herself and to others. Her desire to be a person is cast as a perversion, a deviance, and a sickness.
SBURB is a game her kind was never meant to play, after all. It’s a coming-of-age narrative not meant for her.
Ultimately, Doc Scratch himself is a fundamental accusation against Calliope: he is a grail of the souls who signify some of the most horrible gendered narratives and trans feminine narratives we can imagine, animated in mockery of Calliope as if to say: “this is you”. Equius, an autoerotic, necrophillic predator, and Hal, an aggressive, intellectualist meddler; even Gamzee, who is both a murderous pervert and her own adoptive father, a normative role model who is anything but.
And when Caliborn rises to prominence and Lord English births himself from the corpse of Doc Scratch, it’s nothing less a recreation of the traditional predomination that Caliborn has denied himself. To Caliborn, Lord English is the sign of his own victory: he may see the souls within Lil’ Cal as like-minded role models to emulate and assimilate, or as hateful and loathesome symbols of Calliope to be crushed under his will, but his predomination allows him to take both options without interrogating himself, just as he’s gone without interrogating everything else he wants. 
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And to Calliope, well, if Doc Scratch was an accusation against her, then what could be more horrible to her than Lord English? He has destroyed Doc Scratch and symbolically ended her own perversions, but only through the act of being born.
The only alternative to the horror of being Doc Scratch is the terror of being Lord English; the only alternative to the horror of being Calliope is the terror of being Caliborn.
ISOLATION
I could navel-gaze for hours about the potential symbolism of Lord English, but I think it’s time to return full circle to a somewhat more grounded look at Calliope.
If Calliope, Caliborn, and Lord English cast light upon each other, then what does alternate!Calliope have to say about them?
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Having naturally predominated and standing as a singular figure in the furthest ring, Alt!Calliope serves to illuminate the alternatives to Caliborn’s false victory: in all the alternate possibilities illuminated by the dream bubbles, we see that Calliope can naturally predominate over Caliborn, but not vice versa.
Alternate!Calliope strongly suggests to us that Calliope is inherently stronger than Caliborn, and she tells us that Calliope and Caliborn share the same strength: she tells us yet again that Calliope and Caliborn are two sides of the same coin.
She suggests to us that, in a sense, Calliope and Caliborn are just Calliope -- that Calmasis, upon achieving integration, will simply view herself as Calliope, and Caliborn will lose because he was never the true self.
So why, then, does Caliborn win in the alpha timeline? Is it just an arbitrary time loop, a timeline plucked from the frothing sea of paradox space and arbitrarily validated by the happenstance of the immature Caliborn’s power over time?
No, I certainly don’t think so; I’d like to think that the principle of AURYN applies even here. Caliborn wins out over Calliope because they’re Doing As They Will -- because, even on the level of our trans allegory, they both have reason to want Caliborn’s victory. Even on the level of our trans allegory, Calmasis needs to be Caliborn.
Alternate!Calliope tells us that she had to become strong because she had no-one else to comfort her, and I think suggests two important points of interest:
Firstly, that alt!Calliope serves to reflect Calliope’s inner drama, just as Calliope serves to reflect Caliborn’s inner drama. Caliborn fears and loathes the possibility of being like Calliope, the sentimental degenerate and weakling that she is, and Calliope fears and dreads the possibility of becoming alt!Calliope. Calliope fears that even if she rejects the hateful accusations that are Doc Scratch, and rejects the teleological future of Lord English, her only alternative is to be like alt!Calliope: someone who has won, and who has become herself, but at the cost of isolation, distance, and loneliness, without humanity, connection, or kindness.
In other words, Calliope fears her victory would mean her little green skull is always going to be a miserable Federal Fucking Issue, for herself and for others.
Secondly, that Calliope’s relationships with humans are in some sense the vector by which Caliborn came to dominate. Alt!Calliope won because she had no-one to take comfort in, and thus she had to be strong on her own, but I think the flip side of that is that alt!Calliope was able to be strong, because she had no relationships that could weaken her -- she was more insulated from the toxic ideas of the cultures that came before her. No one could so much as accidentally insinuate to her that she wasn’t good enough or pretty enough as she was, save perhaps for Caliborn -- and certainly Caliborn would have been malevolent, but he would have had less in the way of the language and systematic ideas to be the hateful and cultivated misogynist that he became in the alpha timeline.
In other words, alt!Calliope doesn’t have any reason whatsoever to worry about her little green skull in the first place.
But there’s another much more straightforward reason why Caliborn had to win, too:
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If we’re supposed to take Calliope and Calliborn as two facets of a whole more generally, let alone as a specific trans allegory, well... they may have been two personas, or even two people, but they are confined to an existence as a single player. The cherub session likely never could been anything but a single player session; the cherub session was always going to be a dead session.
And whether it’s a fundamental fact of SBURB or just an idea in Calliope’s head -- one of the ideas she’s likely constructed with the human cultural biases she’s obtained by osmosis -- Caliborn is someone who can win a dead session, and Calliope isn’t. How could a Space player, a patient creative, succeed in a test of frantic, timed destruction? How could a passive Muse succeed where even an active Lord would struggle -- how could a woman succeed where even a man would struggle?
Only someone like Caliborn could ever possibly win. Perhaps Calliope reflects Caliborn as the person he desperately wishes he wasn’t, and she is the shadow that lies outside of his hateful and constructed self, but as a precarious supergiant hangs overhead and the light of Skaia gutters out, Caliborn reflects Calliope as the person she desperately needs to be, and he is the self she has to construct for herself.
Caliborn kills Calliope’s dreamself not just because he desperately hates her, but also because she has to allow him to supercede her, and he is the kind of person she needs to be: because SBURB is unfair, Skaia is unfair, and he can escape the desolate waste of her life, while she cannot.
And so it happens that Calliope is exiled from the real and cast to the unreality of the dream bubbles, while Caliborn grows monstrously beyond himself, self-mutilated and cancerous.
People have commented on the obvious romantic symbolism at play in Calliope’s return to life in the real...
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...but it’s not just the power of a love that saves Calliope. Love is powerful and transformative, but love alone isn’t magical. It isn’t even the power of a magical macguffin ring that saves Calliope, either, because a ring is never just a ring, even when it is magical.
What redeems the possibility of Calliope’s existence is recognition and freedom.
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TL;DR: ‘Caliborn’ is Calliope’s deadname.
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dramionediscussion · 4 years
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To the slow-burn questioner. This advice is based on the assumption that your chapters are anything between 1-3k words (so the total length until the kiss is somewhere between 34k and 102k). In general, if there's any questions, when a length of is of any importance, the word count is by far the best metric. Anything else is can be seriously misleading or difficult to comment upon, because there's so much variation. E.g. I just looked average chapter lengths for my favorite Dramione fics (which are almost all novel length slow-burners) and the avg. was somewhere around 3-5k, longest being around 10k and shortest 2k. Harry Potter books themselves have around 5,5k as a contrast. When we are talking about 34 chapters, well even divergence of 1k words is considerable difference in total length (Of course, nobody expects you to predict the exact amount and stick by it. A crude approximation is totally sufficient. If you have written just chapter or two, extrapolate from that, and it probably won't be too far off base in the end).
As for the question itself, unfortunately there's no clear-cut answer, because so much depends on other factors and circumstances. As an example, I've abandoned otherwise well written Dramione fics around 6-10k, because there wasn't any inclination of any Dramione, or even faint promises of something to come. Yet, one of my favorite fics has their first kiss around 70-100k mark, and even that is a stolen kiss, and from there it takes 30-50k before it develops into a explicit (physical) romantic relationship.
Difference was that the latter had Draco and Hermione interacting and being involved into each others lives from the very start, and former had them totally separated. It can be fairly antagonistic, or devoid of any romantic sentiments (even a relationship based on a hatred and hostility is still a relationship. Other is nothingness and void, and that gives me well ... nothing). I believe that as long as a Dramione fic has them interacting, or influencing each other, or in some way intertwined into each others' lives and minds, you can have a fairly long and arduous road into an actual explicit romantic relationship.
This should be established quite early and it should occur often. As long as your fic has enough D&H moments from the very start, there's a plenty of time till things have to progress into a romance. There's a lot of room to play around, and the exact nature of these interactions and influences doesn't matter. It can fluctuate between anything from antagonism, longing, teasing, titillating, rivalry, competition, curiousness, pining, struggle, humor, denial, self-deception, lust, etc. Almost anything can work, but there has to be something.
Actually, I would go even further, and say that when this phase is done well, it can often be equal or more interesting as the relationship itself. Sometimes it is a treated like an obstacle, which a writer just have to get over with, in order to the relationship (the actual content) to make sense. Surely, it builds up to a relationship, but it can be more than just a build-up. In this phase their internal conflicts are often most pronounced, this inexplicable infatuation and irresistible attraction is most driving. There's some much material for a drama and conflict, and for a romance in its most heightened and purest form. It's not easiest part to get right, but I find this pre-relationship phase an absolute delight, when it's written well. Definitely something to savor, though conflicting motivations, subtle hints, internal struggles, sentimentality and high romanticism for various reasons are not easiest things to write satisfactorily.
How long this should, or can last at the most? Well, there really isn't an answer, because that is determinated entirely on what is actually happening between those chapters. Beyond D&H content, there has to be a sense of motion with events and their relationship. It must be seen, that things are happening and they are moving towards something (not necessarily directly and linearly towards romantic relationship. It's Dramione after all, thus detours and one step forward two steps back- situations are expected). In general events should be part of some larger context and/or chain of events, with form a cohesive whole, and support and build upon each other. No filler, or idling, or stuff for the sake of it. If it start to go into circles or not proceed for prolonged time, even promises of future potential will not keep people interested. Overall, longer anything goes on, harder is to keep it going on without it turning into either stale and boring, or totally ridiculous.  
Altogether, I find this to be one of the most hardest feat to achieve with a creative work. Limiting yourself, and curtailing those temptations, because at least for me every time I think of something what I feel is clever or interesting, my immediate reaction is to squeeze it to whatever I am working at that moment. Then try to bend the larger totality to fit and compliment the added thing, and it almost never works out, and I've been better off by discarding it entirely. There's always another fic you can write, in which that discarded idea fits naturally into the flow of the story. I am not saying that this is so in your case, but if you have these concerns and this pre-relationship stage is that long, it can be a mark that it's bloated and there are parts that don't really add anything to the larger whole, and by existing actual subtract from it.
Goes without saying that events should be inherently interesting and compelling, and that is largely the factor what will make your readers stick to that +30 chapters, or give up around 1-3, kisses or no kisses. It's not pleasant thing to say, but unfortunately that will probably be largely what will determinate everything. Almost everything can work under almost any circumstances if it's well executed, and even most conventional and formally sound fic will not be well received, if the execution is not working.
This is also something that there's hard to comment or give advice in abstract, because it's so hard to define it precisely. Too complex, too elusive and there's innumerable different ways and combinations, with really subtle differences and myriad of configurations. There are some near universals (like that Dramione should have content between D&H), but I am certain there's that one fic out of tens thousands what makes opposite of that to work out somehow, despite it being a requirement for 99,99%. Even something what feels like a precondition or absolute is not necessarily so for every fic out there.
Like that text / fic should be intelligible for its readers. It's totally solid advice for almost every text out there. But then there's something like the Voynich manuscript, which is precisely interesting, because it's incomprehensible. If it was understandable, it would be just another early modern treatise on natural philosophy, maybe with some mysticism or occultism thrown in. Nothing remarkable or something what makes it enduring for anything except a footnote of the times it was written. Lack of something which is prerequisite for almost every other text, happens to be the aspect, which makes it intriguing. What I am trying to say, that anything I've written might not be true for your fic, because even something what is generally true might not be so for everything out there, and yours might be the exception (that is if my advice is true at all, even conceptually or for most Dramione readers out there, which honestly is something I don't know).  
The structure you've presented sounds a little bit alarming. Pre-romance period is what 25 chapters, then conscious and active falling in love, which culminates into a kiss like 9 chapters or something? If you are aiming for a romance fic primary, that structure is not probably not going to work. Romance fic In this context defined as the main plot is development of their relationship. All other events feed or supplement it, and everything is related to that at least indirectly. Romance can have other events and even plot-lines, but solving a mystery or defeating a dark wizard is not the main plot line, but something which rather provides backdrop and material for development of their relationship.
Usually when it comes to a good structure, it is good to aim towards a certain symmetry and different parts should be at least somewhat proportional. It can be arranged by many different ways (be it a three act structure or whatever), but if the stage one is 3x longer than the stage two, well it probably won't be well received. As they read it, longer it takes to get the next thing, they'll probably expect something of similar magnitude, or at least close to it. It's quite instinctual and unconscious expectation, and usually going against something like that will not work. If you build up for a relationship for 50-75k words, people are not going to be satisfied with having only a morsel of actual relationship. In that case, it's probably better to build the entire fic in which to the goal and the end point is that they'll begin their relationship. Then possibly write a sequel, which depicts the actual relationship or dating.
That structure probably would work better, if there was some other genre along side of the romance for you to lean on (I presume angst refers more to the tone or mood, rather than the plotline. Unless you are writing something along the lines The Sorrows of Young Werther in HP universe, in which constant setbacks and suffering are pretty much the storyline). Then there's much more freedom structurally and otherwise for developing the relationship. If your fic has some other solid plotline(s) or genre to keep things interesting and moving forward. Be it coming of age, school drama, war, mystery, fantasy adventure, or anything else. That would take some pressure off from the relationship, and readers engaged in something besides that, thus they won't mind if things are sometimes on the back burner with the romance, or not exactly balanced in the end.
If you are primarily writing a romance fic, then it's better to concentrate on that fully, and provide full palette of different aspects and phases of what goes into romantic relationships. Even if it ultimately is a tragedy, or angsty. Naturally harmoniously adjusted with each other, and fitted in a complementary fashion. Each with their own ups and downs, crises and turning points. A skeleton of a relationship might look something like starting from an introduction, to attraction, then courting and wooing, then dating, then established relationship, then marriage or something similar in which relationship transitions from a private affair to a communal or public fact, then forming a permanent family like getting children, then the end like happy ever afters. (ofc, there's countless ways to categorize these, arrange them differently, split them, drop some, add some, etc, but a romance which has only couple of these, and wildly unbalanced, well it might work as a tragic and bitter sweet one, if that's what you are going for).
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cocoonauae · 4 years
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Dermal Fillers – Things to Know If You're Considering Fillers!
Although no one likes the thought of aging, we can be thankful that we are living in this modern age when there are more facial cosmetic procedures than ever before to aid in the battle against time. Injectable fillers are not only effective, they are a completely safe method of rejuvenating the face. In  the past few years, there have been advancements in the science of fillers, and we offer several different approved brands. The most popular are Juvéderm, Profhilo, Restylane, Radiesse, Teosyal and Neauvia.  The area of the face that requires filling determines the type of filler that we  choose. Some fillers have a thicker consistency than others and are more suited to areas where more substance is needed to achieve the desired lift. It is possible to fill nasolabial folds (lines between the nose and mouth), cheekbones, noses, chins, tear troughs, jowls, and lips. 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Local anaesthetic is administered prior to the injections, and some brands even have the anaesthetic combined with the filler. Slight swelling or redness at the injection site may be experienced, but this is minimal, eliminating the need to take a few days off of work to heal. Another major benefit of injectable fillers is that they are affordable. Great results can be accomplished without breaking your wallet. Things to Know If You're Considering Dermal Fillers Whether you are considering getting dermal fillers to smooth out wrinkles or enhance facial contours, a quick look at some criteria and facts will help you know you have come to the right place for your treatment. Dermal fillers should be injected only by an experienced and qualified medical doctor. This procedure requires qualifications, experience, and an artistic edge, because 90% of the success of cosmetic procedures depends on who is doing them. For example, a bad haircut would indicate the level of experience of the stylist, not the scissors that were used. This is why it is extremely important to inquire about the credentials of your practitioner and ask to see before and after pictures. Getting a consultation first is advisable, as you would get a chance to see our facilities and raise your questions or concerns with us. Your Expectations Bringing a picture of your younger self to your appointment is helpful. However, bringing a picture of your favourite celebrity is not conducive. While you may see one aspect or feature of your face, it is important to know that a face has to be analysed in whole and not in part. The aim of the injectable procedure is to look naturally enhanced. It is also important to understand that each face has its own asymmetry. A good doctor can help bring more symmetry while keeping the overall aesthetics of the face visually pleasing. So, make the most of your consultation by being open to recommendations. Your doctor sees in three dimensions, and you would benefit from exploring all your options. The Actual Product There are many types of dermal fillers on the market. But the most common of them are hyaluronic acid (HA) products. They have proven to produce natural and lasting results while maintaining fluidity to move with facial expressions. This line of dermal fillers also incorporates antioxidants, minerals, and vitamins to deliver further treatment benefits while filling and contouring the face. How Long the Results Will Last Hyaluronic acid in dermal fillers also occurs naturally in the body and therefore gets metabolized eventually. Depending on the dermal filler chosen and whether or not this is the first time you are having a filler injected, you can expect results to last anywhere from 3 to 6 months. If for some reason you are not satisfied with the results, which is very rare, HA fillers are also dissolvable at your request by injecting an enzyme called hyaluronidase. What to Do Before And After The Injection It is always best to schedule your injectable appointments a couple of days to a week prior to any major event. With dermal filler injections, you will also need to take bruising and swelling into account. You can reduce this likelihood by stopping any supplements that can act like blood thinners such as fish oil and also some pain killers such as Aspirin, Aleve, Advil, etc., 2 weeks prior to your appointment. After your dermal fillers treatment, follow the post-care instructions given, which include applying cold compresses, avoiding extremely cold or hot drinks, sun exposure, extreme temperatures, excess facial mimicry, and vigorous exercises. For more information, Visit https://www.cocoona.ae
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ankulometes · 5 years
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Albion in The Chiasm
Have you ever experienced the uncanny sensation that perhaps, just perhaps, you are not entirely at home in this world? Do you ever look around and think, “I don’t belong here”? And by “here” I mean: in this world, this particular existence as a whole rather than this or that place or time within it?
Are you ever plagued by a gnawing sense of regret concerning choices taken in the past that have led you to this present? Does it ever feel as though those other paths that might have been seem to appear before you such that they are almost tangible?
Have you ever experienced a sense of dread or foreboding? If you are alone in your home at night, do you ever suspect that there is some alien presence in the other room, around the corner, or upstairs; forever just out of sight and ungraspable? Have you ever seen a ghost? Don’t call the Ghostbusters quite yet.
Maybe you’ve had a strong intuition or a moment of blinding inspiration, as if suddenly the clouds cleared and the meaning of some event or a required course of action was standing before you in brilliant sunlight?
Perhaps you’ve witnessed true magic? I do not mean a cheap conjuring trick whereby some parlour charlatan deceives your senses. I mean a wondrous exercise of such skill and knowledge as to produce a result that is so far beyond your ken that you can only satisfy yourself concerning the reality of its occurrence through recourse to the supernatural.
Doubtless there are those amongst you who believe, rightly or wrongly, that you have lived before in some other time and place. In which case, was that some “other” being or was it something you would still call “me”?
Some physicists have hypothesised that there are a practically infinite number of universes all existing within the same space and time, occupying dimensions we cannot perceive. With every decision, at each juncture, down to the level of a subatomic collision, every possible outcome occurs simultaneously, branching into myriad divergent worlds.
However, bound by the shackles of academic sobriety, few dare to declare openly what they perhaps grasp in their dreams and imaginings: that these universes, this multiverse, is one single vast being that exists within a yet greater realm inhabited by other such beings. It is a creature that we are as far — farther even — from being able to grasp than a single cell or nucleotide of our own bodies is from grasping the complete essence of us.
Nevertheless, there are some amongst us who have a somewhat clearer view of this creature of which they are a part. Some amongst them even have a name for it: they call it The Chiasm. And some few amongst them refer to themselves as The Dehiscent, for they alone are able, in a limited fashion, to perceive — and maybe even traverse between — those regions of the body of The Chiasm that are forever hidden and shut off from the rest of us.
The Chiasm was born with a first decision: to be or not to be; the autochthonic moment of the Big Bang in which our world and all other possible worlds within it came into being. However, what most people forget is that the principle of the necessary realisation of all simultaneous possibilities extends also to that original moment. At the instant of the Big Bang, the multiverse both came into being and remained nothing. It was born and not born. Thus, at its most fundamental level, it is constituted by this profound symmetry between being and non-being; between thing and nothing. For every something that is, there is nothing that is not. Exactly half of The Chiasm is not constituted from this peculiar and ineffable anti-substance which is beyond all matter, even that which we think of as antimatter or dark matter. It is strange stuff indeed.
We humans have some intimation of this “anti-substance” which we can glimpse through a glass darkly. It haunts our very existence. Yet we cannot even speak or think of it properly for, when we do, we necessarily turn it into “something”. Nevertheless, there are those amongst The Dehiscent who can grasp and manipulate this elusive non-material in order to bend The Chiasm toward their own obscure ends.
Whilst things are discrete and countable, nothing is always zero and undifferentiated. Its unified nature, combined with its binding symmetry to the multiplicity of stuff, is what makes it valuable to The Dehiscent who refer to it as The Noth.
As if our inability to conceptualise even half of our own tiny corner of existence weren’t enough, our situation as “normal” human beings is yet more blinkered. Just as blood cells, sent hurtling around the intricate routes of our arteries know little or nothing of either the pumping heart that drives them or the uncountable divergent channels that veer away from their own narrow course, so we are forever skewered by the tip of time’s arrow. To our puny powers of perception, things emerge from the future unseen and recede into the past where they are forever lost to all but memory.
The Chiasm is a physical being and time is its body — its growth, its life, its shape, its form. And also, potentially, its death. From the moment of its birth from out of nothing into the two ligaments of nothing and something, it multiplies and branches ever outward in exponential growth in a process which might, in theory, proceed forever in a manner that renders it effectively immortal (as we think of time). However, as a few amongst The Dehiscent have grasped, matters are not so blissfully eternal in practice.
At some point during the incommensurable lifespan of a Chiasm, things can go awry. The flourishing growth that defined its “youth” begins to collapse. The horizon of possibility begins to diminish. Divergence is replaced with convergence until, ultimately, it collapses into only a single nothing and a single something once more and the whole process begins again in a moment of cosmic reincarnation. Thus, to each other, Chiasms must look somewhat like an ever progressing series of perfectly intersecting sine waves or connected lenses.
Because of this “death” there is an ethical drive or karma within The Chiasm’s existence: what will that one and only one something which remains at the end to define the possibilities inherent of the next cycle be? Will it be good? Or will it be evil? When one lives at the level of The Chiasms, this is an important concern.
The body of The Chiasm is structured and defined by a collection of fundamental particles that lie far beyond the comprehension and detection skills of human scientists. The skilled and perceptive amongst The Dehiscent, on the other hand, are deeply concerned with them. Collectively, they are known as quidditrons: particles of essence or quality that possess neither mass nor extent in any dimension we can conceive or measure. The quantity, position, and interaction of these particles determine what we might think of as the “health” of The Chiasm.
Logons are particles of logical, internal, synchronic consistency that provide any moment from which possibilities branch with structural integrity and strength. They create the joints in the body of The Chiasm and are the bones or scaffold of each moment. They are the critical difference between saying that anything that can happen does happen and saying that everything happens. Moments that are logon deficient are improbable, inconsistent, and incoherent. This lack causes the moment to collapse.
Furthermore, like the tendrils on a vine, logons secure a moment in time by binding to neighbouring branches. In the context of The Chiasm, this is what is meant when one declares that any given moment resides at an equivalent point in time within one thread to that in another. The paths these tendrils create establish synchronic relationships between branches. Or not, as the case may be.
Muthons are particles of diachronic coherence. They form the branches of time and possibility, reaching out between and linking logon moments longitudinally. They forge The Chiasm’s limbs. Much as with logons, a muthon deficiency within a branch that connects two moments will cause it to wither.
Pathons are particles of sentiment or feeling that determine the appearance and sensation of a moment. If logons and muthons can be thought of as the skeleton or scaffold on which the body of The Chiasm is created, then pathons are its flesh. Alternatively, an architectural metaphor might describe them as the bricks, the decor, and the air that fills a room. They interact closely with ethons, or particles of character.
Ethons lie beyond any concepts of “good” and “evil” that we humans might understand. It is perhaps more accurate to say that they have a degree of “charge”; although not in the positive and negative sense like electrons that entails a necessary attraction and repulsion. Within any moment, the particular coalescence and interaction of ethons and pathons generates the motive force that drives a Chiasmic thread or branch, defining its nature.
This momentary reaction between pathons and ethons breeds yet another type of particle known as porons. These we might think of as particles of dehiscence or possibility. They explode outward from each moment, drawing other quidditron particles such that the creation of new branches and new moments occurs as the force of the blast fades.
Thus we might think of The Chiasm as a whole as being like a vast nuclear power generator. The constant and increasing generation and release of possibility constructs time, giving it form. The extent and degree to which this occurs is indicative of its vitality.
Yet the metaphor is inevitably somewhat misleading. All this talk of particles and reactions might lead one into a false sense of security; as if the multiverse of The Chiasm were merely the outcome of some comfortably Newtonian collision of orb-like particles in a void over time in a manner that supplies a reassuringly empirical and linear conception of reality.
The Chiasm is a being. It is as biological and “organic” as you or I. Whether it is conscious or possesses a will is a moot point but, if it does, it is certainly nothing like that which humans possess. What really makes it radically different from us in this respect is that it is eternal. Time as we know it is not a concept that has any meaning to The Chiasm itself: it is an epiphenomenon of our existence within it. One might as well ask you to describe the experience and motivations of the cells of your own body. You may be conceptually aware of them and their processes impact your conscious and subconscious life but you have no inkling of what it means to be a constituent part of yourself.
Despite the necessary metaphors, The Chiasm does not develop over time as such. It doesn’t really “grow” new branches and lens-shaped multiverse segments. Each and every one exists, always has existed, and always will exist in every state of every moment that we think of as time. But that does not mean The Chiasm is static or unchanging. On the contrary, it is in a perpetual state of mutation and transformation that we might think of as being akin to breathing or the flexing of a muscle.
Maybe this is even how it moves through whatever it is that constitutes space and time within its extra-multiversal habitat? Who knows. Regardless of what it means to The Chiasm itself, the ramifications for us are extraordinary. Past, present, and future all coexist simultaneously and, for those who possess the requisite knowledge and skills, can be experienced or traversed after a fashion. However, the act of doing so fundamentally impacts quidditrons, altering or even collapsing local structures.
And this is where The Dehiscent enter the fray.
The Dehiscent, as a few of the English-speaking human-formed amongst them have been known to refer to themselves rather pompously on occasion, are “normal” everyday beings like you and me. Or your cat. Or the worm eating its way through the soil outside.
At the most basic level, a dehiscent entity is anything that functions as the locus of a peculiar configuration of quidditrons over the course of a particular moment or moments. There is nothing in their outward appearance that might mark them as being in any way distinct. Nor are they, like Clark Kent, merely concealing super-strength and supersonic flying abilities beneath a flimsy disguise. Insofar as they are as bound by the laws of possibility as you or me, they are just like us.
Yet they are nonetheless inevitably affected by the coalescence of quidditrons that inheres within them. Most commonly, this might cause them to see or know things we cannot, leading them to behave in ways we don’t understand or do things we believe to be impossible.
The precise nature of the differences they exhibit depends on the strength of the dehiscence they possess and the properties of their existence as an otherwise normal entity. Maybe a dehiscent tree might somehow be able to perceive its imminent destruction but lacks the agency that would render it capable of avoiding its demise. A squirrel in possession of a powerful coalescence of quidditrons might demonstrate an uncanny skill at finding nuts but, as an instinctual animal, remains devoid of the higher cognitive faculties that would lead it to reflect in more depth on what it has learned.
In our own world, psychiatric wards, political establishments, and company boardrooms are full of dehiscent humans whom quidditrons have either tortured with voices and visions, filled with dangerous conviction, or transformed into sociopaths who lack empathy for their fellow human beings. It is rarely a gift for which one might be thankful.
Through their divergent behaviour, many dehiscent entities come to act like tumours in the body of The Chiasm. All too often, they warp and distort and destroy the horizon of possibility to the detriment of the life of The Chiasm. But others, like white blood cells, are led into a life of struggle against these forces of closure that would, left to their own devices, cause The Chiasm to collapse into a lingering and painful death.
As mentioned above, this struggle appears outwardly like a continual reconfiguration of the body of The Chiasm, as though it were breathing or flexing its muscles, through the collapsing and creation of possibility and moments. The very fibres of its being develop and become stronger or waste away. Entire strands of time emerge into existence or are subsumed by The Noth. They wind around and intersect with or decouple from each other like the branches of some impossibly intricate and complex plant. And, like many plants, it has a kind of centre or trunk upon which the other branches build.
Whilst it may be unfashionably anthropocentric to say so, the worlds of humans are an important part of this trunk or spinal column. As beings in possession of both degrees of cognitive faculty and agency that renders us capable of utterly transforming the regions of The Chiasm we inhabit, humans are very much part of the “brain” of this vast multiverse entity. We do not serve this function alone, of course. But we serve it nonetheless. And the dehiscent amongst us do so especially, even if the result is cancerous.
This brings us to The Dehiscent, with a capital “T” and a capital “D”. They are beings who, for a greater or lesser number of moments, happen to be in possession of an especially powerful convergence of quidditrons that we might refer to as a dehisceme. What this entails in practice is that they are aware of the presence and nature of their dehiscence. It is a rare phenomenon.
When one talks about them using a proper noun, one is always referring to a being that uses language in that way. Which, to all intents and purposes, means that The Dehiscent are human.
A dehisceme does not render such individuals immortal or omniscient or omnipotent — a fact which I imagine many amongst them must find incredibly frustrating. It provides a quantum entanglement that links their interconnected human existences as they spread and diverge through the parallel universes that make up The Chiasm. The link may be stronger or weaker and it might impinge on their consciousness in any number of ways. But where you and I are blindly scattered through every possible outcome, these people can exercise agency and intent to direct their dehisceme carrying existence down a particular path.
Such people may be able to perceive, and even sometimes comprehend, their position within a fair extent of The Chiasm as it extends over our time. They almost certainly have a far clearer view than either you or I possess of the possibilities that are open to them. They might demonstrate an understanding of the consequences of their actions that is so far beyond our own as to often render their behaviour difficult to understand.
Their ability to gain knowledge and act upon it may be so superior to yours or mine that they appear to be capable of things that are nothing less than magical to our eyes. Yet they still remain ineluctably constrained by their situated position, perspective, and nature as feeble, mortal human beings.
Exposure to a wider horizon of experience hopefully broadens their minds. Nonetheless, they remain mortal beings that are born and die in specific moments with only a finite number between them. Their capacity to conceptualise the perceptions made possible by a dehisceme remains bounded by those generally prevalent within the moments to which they are subject.
Yet, even amongst The Dehiscent, those who have consciously grappled with the nature of their dehisceme and learned how to harness its capabilities are few. Most amongst them at least learn how to perceive the presence of a dehisceme in others. Consequently, they tend to be drawn toward one another, which is how they came to name themselves. That said, they do not typically hang out in clubhouses wearing aprons and exchanging funny handshakes.
However, there are countless universes in which those regions populated by human beings are utterly dominated by The Dehiscent. There they use their unique powers in a systematic and coordinated fashion to direct the course of events, seeking the comfort of absolute certainty to stave off the intense aporia that exposure to a dehisceme produces within them.
Although they often remain unaware of the fact, this is precisely the kind of response that makes The Chiasm sicken and wither. As a result, others amongst them are driven in a different direction. Like rebel factions, they splinter off and seek to produce new, healthy growth.
Some disperse, producing entirely new branches that spread as far away as possible from any infected growth. These Dehiscent are like a counterculture that desires to flee from civilisation and create a utopia in the far distant hills. From these seeds, new oppressive regimes of closure tend to develop since all utopians are authoritarians deep down.
Others diverge but, in so doing, bind themselves as tightly as possible to the corrupt limb, seeking to draw away any healthy life that remains within it until the two or more join once again into a single, fertile thread. These Dehiscent are the teachers, the doctors, the nurses, the firefighters, the gardeners, the dissidents, the protestors.
Whichever approach these Rebel Dehiscent choose, their activities constitute a threat to the aims of their kin who seek an end to possibility, an end to change, an end to flourishing growth. To those amongst their number who, knowingly or unknowingly, out of malice or misguided good intentions, desire convergence over divergence. Thus a struggle emerges and a battle across countless universes unfolds between Chiasmic entities who, despite their incredible gifts, usually remain as blind and unwitting in their actions as tumours and white blood cells are in our own bodies.
And that is where Albion comes into the picture.
Winding through the spine of The Chiasm are two threads of particular interest to me. The first, of course, is our own: sick and dying, it threatens to infect and collapse those branches that swarm around it. Things fall apart. The centre cannot hold. Our ways become lost and isolated, dispersed until they collapse into empty nothingness. As the character of our moments becomes increasingly corroded and their structure ever more unstable, our visceral sense of uncanny anxiety grows.
Perceiving our terrible fate, one particular faction of Rebel Dehiscent took action. In a branch of The Chiasm that they keep tightly bound to our own, they have struggled over many generations to draw our wounds so that we might ultimately be welcomed into the healing embrace of their own time.
Appreciating the limits of their powers and the requirements placed on them by their long term goals, they did not disappear into some utopia. They merely took those parts of our world which they understood to the best of their abilities to be a source of sickness and strove to make them better, without breaking so far from our universe that we became abandoned to some horrific destiny.
Some days we can feel them at work. Those are the good days. When right and reason triumph over ignorance and hate. On other days they must suffer for their cause, accepting that to run a course with us means bad things will happen. Their dreams and desires leak through the gaps to inspire us and fill us with hope. Our fears and anxieties flow the other way to produce grief and despair. We dimly perceive their goal of a reunion of our universes into a healthy new flourishing branch of The Chiasm through our imaginings of events like the rapture at the end of time. They in turn must take on our apocalyptic visions of death through fire and destruction in order to remain by our side until the ultimate moment.
It is a world in which, before the dawn of civilisation, fallible gods lived amongst mankind. Where true magicians are at work. A place where people and events known to us only through myth as stories that have seeped through the holes in space lived and occurred for real. It is the site of an invisible war that will determine the fate not only of their own world but also that of ours. A timeless battle fought for the highest stakes in which a single miscalculation could unleash untold catastrophe.
This is the world of Albion. It is not a perfect world. It is not even a better world in any simplistic sense. It has its own stories that are as full of struggle, failure, and loss as our own. But it is a different world, even if it often appears similar to our own. I hope you like it more than ours. I do.
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