#but then I matured and realised he would have tummy instead

[vault81]

looking for references to how I imagine Jacks body to look and trying to avoid all the fetish content

[reallykaz]

— .best date ever! // matt sturniolo

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

plot summary : when the cute guy in your class asks you out on a date, you’re more than happy to go. but you didn’t expect a fun time at the amusement park would end in the back seat of his car with your clothes off and his lips on yours.

content warnings : very mature themes (18+ MINORS DNI) strong language, small mention of anxiety. fluffy plot with porn at the end! first date things and matt being down bad for reader. tension in a photobooth ;) smutty car sex, oral sex and unprotected p in v (pls don’t do this!be safe!)

a/n : i’m a slut for a man who can drive. that’s it. also this is my first time writing smut so i hope it's up to standards lmaooo i really dk how i feel about this either… like always all likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated <333

wc : 5.5k

"Fuck! I have nothing to wear!"

Saturday night and you were stressing, half of your closet was scattered around your bedroom floor and your desk was a mess with makeup and hair products. The whole room smelt like perfume, vanilla lotion and nail polish from the last two hours you’ve been getting ready.

It was finally the night of your date with Matt and you were beyond nervous. You’ve known each other since middle school but you mostly talked in English class for the past four years - just simple ‘hi’s’ and exchanged smiles.

It took you by surprise when Matt asked you out on Wednesday because you had no idea that he had any type of attraction for you. In school he was quiet, played a few sports and only hung out with his brothers and best friends. You didn’t know much other than that.

Stalking his instagram didn’t offer much

But you were glad he was taking you out. It was the first time a guy has actually wanted to go on a date with you and Matt seemed really genuine. You were excited for once because usually being with guys has always left you feeling used, empty and no good. But this was different.

Matt had asked you for your number too when he asked you out and obviously you couldn’t say no when he looked down at you like you hung the moon so you had been texting each other a couple times for the past three days.

It was only very casual but instead of asking for pictures of your tits, he’d actually ask about your day and would make you laugh with unfunny jokes. So yeah, it was definitely different.

After twenty hectic minutes later and your mom bombarding your personal space to ask about the date, you had finally picked out an outfit - cute and simple with a hint of sexy and hot. It was good and you looked good in it.

When your phone vibrated from a message notification, you knew it was Matt and your gut swirled with butterflies. After dousing yourself in some more perfume, topped up your lipgloss and fixed up your hair, you check your phone.

from matt🤍 i’m outside :)

You immediately go into panic mode when you hear the doorbell ring and you couldn’t have ran downstairs any faster than right now. "Honey? Is that your date? I wanna meet –

"Bye mom! Be back by midnight! Love you!" Matt drops the kind smile and rehearsed lines in his head when you’re slamming your front door and dragging him back to the car by his hand as he looks back in case your parents walked out, "Was I not supposed to knock? I didn’t know."

You glance at your door when you turn to him, looking up with a smile. "It’s okay, I just didn’t want my mom to start yapping on if she saw you, we’d both we there for hours." Matt nods at your explanation, forgetting about the flowers in his hand when he actually looks at you.

His eyes trail up and down to check you out, the way your skirt clung to your hips was enough to make his head spin and cock twitch. Matt couldn’t believe that tonight he was the one you were all dressed up pretty for and the thought made his tummy swirl. He felt more nervous after realising he was staring.

Luckily you didn’t even notice because you were doing the exact same thing. Your eyes trained on the chain around his neck before they glance all the way down to the rings on his hands and that’s when you see the sweet smelling flowers. You try to ignore the veins popping out from how tight he was holding them. Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck

"These are for you,"

Matt holds out the flowers and you grab them off of him, fingers brushing against his as you beam. "This is really sweet, Matt. You didn’t have to do all of this," you couldn’t believe you were already blushing over some flowers and Matt just shakes his head with a smile, "I wanted to, don’t worry."

There’s a pause when Matt just looks down at you, bashful smiles on both of your faces and he liked the way your eyes looked more light with the sunset in your face. Now, there was tension in the air surrounding the two of you.

"Well thank you, really." Your voice was genuine but small, turning shy under Matt’s gaze as you avoid his eyes by looking at the flowers in awe.

"C’mon, let’s go." You look up and see Matt holding the passenger door open, "get in." He nods his head and you comply, leaning down to get in the car and immediately smelling his natural scent. It was nice, sort of safe.

"Where are we even going anyways?"

—

"Oh my god! You’re such a cheat!"

A loud set of giggles escape your mouth when you see Matt get more and more aggravated from the game of mini golf. He hides his own smile whilst shaking his head, focusing on getting his blue ball into the hole where your red one was already in, sitting nicely. "I am not!"

The fluorescent lights from the Ferris wheel was reflecting down on both of your faces, brightening the whole mini golf course in multicolours and it made the whole experience better. The amusement park was really busy for a Saturday night so when you both arrived, Matt used the excuse of 'not wanting to lose you' to hold your hand. It was silly but it made you smile anyways.

You then spent the next two hours holding his hand, laughing and competing against each other in those little mini game stalls that gave you a teddy as a prize. But Matt had won you a little heart keychain that already held so much significance to you already, you knew you'd keep it forever. He then dragged you on a couple of rollercoaster rides with the promise that you could drag him into mini golf afterwards.

Matt didn't realise that you were actually really good at it.

"I'm gonna get this next one, just watch." After throwing you a promising look, Matt focuses on the ball and you grin at the way his tongue poked out in concentration before he hits it with his little matching blue club and it finally goes into the hole. "See? Told you," his eyes light up when he looks back up at you with a smug smile on his face and you match his excitement, naturally wrapping your arms around his shoulders for a hug. "I knew you could!"

Matt's heart flutters for the 100th time tonight and he completely melts into your touch, wrapping his hands around your waist tightly. Your bodies swayed together in a moment of celebration and Matt could feel how warm you were against him.

"But guess what?" You both pulled away but you still kept yourself close when you look up at Matt with a playful smile and twinkling eyes that made him adore you, "what?" He knew full well what but seemed to find himself enjoying entertaining your banter in the last few hours.

"I still win," you let out a soft chuckle at his teasing glare, positively ignoring the way his simple touch made you feel so alive when you hugged. "Do you?" Matt questions quietly, tilting his head to the side that made you mirror his expression. Before you could answer, his hands were wrapped back around your waist and tickling your sides.

To an outsiders perspective, you and Matt looked like a young and happy couple that were very much in love with one another. The way your bodies just naturally gravitated towards each other so easily with either a simple touch or a quick glance seemed normal.

Matt was comforting. And he made you feel safe in every sense of the meaning. It was difficult to describe how you felt right now because you didn't understand it whatsoever but you knew you could be your genuine self and that's what mattered the most. You just had no idea how to tell him or if you should say anything at all.

"Ah! Stop! I can't breathe!"

Matt lets out a loud laugh, letting go of your body to almost keel over in laughter at the snort that just appeared in the middle of giggles. Your cheeks burn in embarrassment, eyes wide as you hold your cheeks in complete disbelief that Matt just heard your ugly laugh on the first date. "Oh my god! Pretend you didn't hear that."

"No way that just happened," Matt calms his laughter, looking at the way your cheeks burned red and smiling. He knew you were embarrassed but he didn’t want you to be, it was cute.

But in hopes to make you feel better, he quickly changed the subject.

Turning to grab the golf balls, he walks over to throws an arm around your shoulder and pulls you close. "C’mon, let’s go winner." You jokingly poke his side that makes him flinch and it makes you both laugh, "you’re such an idiot."

—

It had maybe been a half hour later and more smiles and small touches had been shared over some cinnamon churros. The sky was pitch black now and the air was colder. The amusement park was becoming more packed with teenagers and college kids instead of the typical families with their small children.

You could tell that Matt was more comfortable around you now in comparison to when he first picked you up. Conversation was easy with him, talking about anything or anyone and still finding it interesting. You learned more about the sports he played and his family and friends.

The conversations never expanded any deeper than casual and it was actually a relief. For some reason you wanted to find things about Matt through time and peeling back layers the more you got to know each other. You liked it better that way because it was real to you.

"Oh look! There’s a photobooth,"

Matt’s eyes looked away from you to glance at whatever you were pointing at in hopes you didn’t catch him staring and was thankful for the colourful string lights scattered above you that cleverly hid his blush. His fingers brushed softly against yours when you walked side by side, itching to touch you.

He had been stealing shy glances at you all night and kept thinking about how he could ask you out again after the night was over. But all night his anxious mind had tried to betray him and things like holding your hand needed a lot of courage to do despite the relieved feeling afterwards.

"You wanna go?" His hands twitched at his sides and when you look back at Matt with a smile, his mind went blank when you grabbed his hand this time with such ease. "C’mon," you dragged him towards the empty photobooth, quickly dodging the crowds of people in your way in hopes it’ll stay empty. "Excuse me! Thank you!"

Your hand was still holding his when you looked past the beige curtain and down at the tiny seat that was supposed to fit the both of you. "Oh."

Matt entwined his hand away from yours to slip past you and sit on the seat, manspreading and tapping his lap. "Come here," you watch in awe and the low tone of his voice gives you no choice but to lower yourself down on his thigh, fiddling with the ends of your skirt shyly. "Is this okay?"

Matt didn’t answer and just pulled the curtain shut and leaving you both under shitty, dim lights and away from everyone’s eyes.

"Are you okay?" His voice soft when he looks back at you, glancing at your lips and back to your eyes. Your heart races from the closeness and you just let out a strangled hum, "mhm." You nod.

Matt just gives you a cocky grin, "good." The heat between your legs throbs when his arm wraps around your waist and rests on your bare thigh to toy with the bottom of your skirt. He leans over to touch the screen, tightening his grip on your body and you could barely focus.

You were convinced he knew what he was doing and the worst thing about it was that it felt right. You didn’t want anything like this to happen tonight, if anything, nothing sexual at all with Matt because you were scared of losing something you never had.

But whatever this was felt different.

"You ready?" You blinked at him, an arm wrapped around his neck when he just looks at you. A look so simple that made you feel so much. "Yeah," you try to disregard your thoughts for the next five minutes of happiness.

Matt caught you by surprise when he squished your face for the first photo and just before the light flashed, you squished his face too. The two of you trying to smile at the camera with your hands wrapped around each other’s faces.

"Funny faces?" You suggested for the next photo, blissfully unaware of Matt’s hand coming over your head when he nods in agreement. The second shot is with Matt sticking his tongue out and looking at your cross eyes and your pout, trying not to laugh at the bunny ears.

Afterwards, you both just laughed together.

"Hey, look at me," Matt whispers and gently grabs your jaw to pull your face towards his, the small smile on your face disappearing when your eyes meet. Your skin turned hot when his fingers began stroking up and down your thigh lightly, making your skirt shift further up your hips. "Yeah?" You felt breathless.

Neither of you realise the camera just took another shot because all Matt could focus on was the need to kiss you. He was already half hard in his jeans just from you sitting on his lap and he could feel the cotton of your panties rub against his thigh. You were driving him crazy.

Matt really did want to kiss you more than anything and he knew you did too with the way you leaned closer and fluttered your eyes but he just couldn't. He had no idea why and it was frustrating, he felt like a complete coward. Why can't he just kiss you?

Your face drops when Matt lets out a frustrated sigh, dropping his hand and leaning his head into your neck to close his eyes. "You're so beautiful," he whines softly and you can feel him leave a quick peck to your skin which makes you feel weak so you look down at him in confusion. "Is something wrong?" You ask lowly.

When Matt looks into your eyes, you could see how his pupils were blown out and it was captivating. For a moment you're convinced he's either going to tell you what's up or kiss you when his lips part but nothing happens and you feel confused. "Matt?"

The loud speaker of an AI voice cuts you both off to let you know that your photos have been printed and to leave the booth. You let out a sigh when Matt immediately stands up, gently pushing you off his lap and pulling the curtain back open. You couldn't even focus on anything else when you follow after Matt like a puppy.

"Matt?" You call after him when you see that he was walking away, "Where are you going?" Pulling back his tattooed arm to make him look at your frown and you notice the strip of photos of you both in his hand. You couldn't figure out what he was thinking with the way he was looking down at you. "I thought we were having a good night."

In reality, Matt felt embarrassed. His mind was working in overdrive and wouldn't blame you if you thought he was an asshole. He was angry at himself for leading you on like that because that was never his intention. He really did want to kiss you and touch you without worrying constantly about little things.

"Let me take you home, yeah?"

Matt spoke softly but didn't wait for an answer from you before walking through the carpark and you once again had no other choice but to follow after him. You didn't want to end the night like this. You refused to.

"I don't want to go home yet," Matt hears you whisper and feels your hand pulling on his arm again so he turns back around to glance down at you. He sighs when he sees the dejected look in your eyes but the touch of your fingers trailing his tattoos makes his head spin and now he could only think about one thing.

"Get in the car."

_

The low hum of Matt's playlist was playing quietly when he drives into an empty carpark, surrounded by nothing but trees. Since the Photobooth incident, neither of you have talked and you're pretty sure Matt hasn't even looked your way. "Where are we?"

There’s a pause that makes you look at Matt properly. You knew he wanted to say something with the look on his face and you felt bad. It was like one moment the two of you were having the best night ever to being in awkward silence.

"I’m sorry."

You didn’t know why Matt was apologising to you because there was nothing to apologise for, not really anyways. You weren’t that much of a bitch to get angry at him for what happened earlier because it was clear there was more to it.

"You don’t have to say -

"I like you, okay?" This catches you off guard - even after all of the hand holding and longing glances tonight - it doesn't stop the fluttery feeling in your gut from hearing it out loud.

"I really really like you." Matt's voice breaks in desperation and you look at him staring at his front wheel like it's the most interesting thing ever. The light in the car was dimly lit so it was hard to read Matt's expression from the angle you're sitting at.

Matt doesn’t give you a second to reply, "and every second of this night has been like heaven and now i feel like such an asshole for leading you on like that because that was never my intention. I would never do that to you."

Finally, your eyes meet.

"I really did want to kiss you." The needy tone in his voice was driving you crazy and your body slowly gravitated towards his over the console. Matt never took his eyes off of you, eyes glancing at your lips when you speak. "It’s okay."

The way you’re looking at him now was enough for Matt to grab your face and bring your lips to his. You can feel the coldness of his rings on your skin when his tongue slips into your mouth and it makes you whimper, clenching your thighs together and reaching for Matt.

A strangled groan escapes his throat when he feels your hand pulling on his hair and he has to stop himself from dragging you on his lap. The low music playing in the background is drowned out by your lips smacking together and all of the pent up feelings Matt's had all night has just rushed straight to his dick. He had to pull away.

"Fuck." Matt mumbles and you watch him try to adjust his jeans, lifting his hips and pulling on the waistband. Your lips are plumper than usual and you slowly wipe them with a small smile when Matt looks over at you, "You're driving me crazy."

You know Matt's hard when you glance back down but you're taken by surprise when you really see how big he is. His rushed attempt of tucking it into his waistband was a failure. Matt knows you've seen how hard he was and it makes him blush. When he feels your hand trailing up and down his arm, it makes his breath hitch and that makes you smirk, "You're so cute."

"Shut up." He's smiling when he kisses you again and it does in fact shut you up. The kiss turns from sweet and tender to rough and needy in a second. Once you feel Matt's hands trail from your face and down your body, you're the first one to initiate more when you grab his hand and guide it between your thighs.

Matt pulls away and with half-lidded eyes, he looks down to see your legs spread and your flipped skirt covering his hand. "You're so wet," he chuckles softly when you moan, eyes rolling back when his fingers touch you through your panties. "This is what you do to me."

"Do you-" Matt stops mid sentence when you begin to kiss down his neck and pulls away to look at you properly, "Do you wanna go in the backseat?" You notice how blown out his pupils look and it makes his eyes darker in the dim light and you imagine looking at them every morning as you both lay together with the warm light reflecting through the windows.

Matt gets nervous at your silence.

"We don't have to, I don't expect anything from you if that's what you're wondering." He reassures, not wanting to say the wrong thing and scare you off. In all honesty, Matt didn't expect anything like this to happen when he kissed you but this was in the moment and for some reason it felt right. But he'd never make you do anything you weren't comfortable with. "I can just take you home if that's -

"I want to." You cut him off.

"Yeah?" Matt sighs with relief and he smiles when you nod. "Yeah." You mirror his smile and with a quick kiss to your lips, you watch him unbuckle his seatbelt and climb into the backseat with such ease that makes you wonder if he's done this before.

"C'mere." Matt taps his lap and you glance down at his dick once more before climbing over the seats to go to him. In your perfectly awkward fashion, you end up practically tripping into Matt's lap and he quickly grabs the back of your thighs to steady you as you both giggle quietly together. "Sorry." You whisper.

"You really are beautiful," The way he looks up at you feels so intimate and sincere that it makes you think that nobody has ever looked at you like Matt does and that realisation was scary yet so endearing. "I bet you say that to all of the girls you seduce into the backseat of your car," You joke with a playful eye roll and it makes him laugh.

"I really like you."

"I really like you too."

You can't wipe the grin on your face when Matt leans up to kiss you, his hands trailing around your body. "And you're the only girl I've ever seduced into the backseat of my car," he whispers against your lips before kissing you softly, the both of your eyes fluttering closed.

Your hands wander down his chest to the bottom of his shirt when your tongues swirl together and you can still taste the sweet cinnamon on his tongue from earlier. When you feel Matt's hands moving up your thighs slowly, you begin to tug off his shirt and he pulls away from the kiss to take it off and throw it on the floor.

"You too." Matt whispers and his hands are playing with the hem of your dress, looking up at you to make sure if that's what you want. Your heart is pounding when you lift yourself up off Matt's lap to take off your dress that leaves you in your matching lace set and when you see his eyes light up, it makes you feel better.

"Is this okay?"

"More than okay." Matt reassures softly and his touch feels ten times hotter now you're half naked that it makes you feel goosebumps. He leans up to kiss your chest and his hands find themselves back between your thighs and it all feels so overwhelming in the best way possible. "Can I touch you?" The way he asks makes you melt.

"Mhm, please." You beg with your head nodding and grinding your hips into his hand. "Please touch me, Matt." Your desperateness makes his cock twitch and he ignores it with a smirk, gently pulling your thong to the side and running a finger through your folds before finding your clit and that makes your thighs twitch when you drop your head on his shoulder with a whine, "Fuck."

"You’re so needy for me." He says so smugly, easily slipping two fingers in you and feeling how wet you are. You reply with moan, riding your hips when he curls it upwards and he can feel you squeeze around him and Matt can’t wait till you’re doing the same thing around his cock.

When Matt starts rubbing his thumb against your clit at the same time, you’re moving your hands down to his clothed crotch and feeling how hard he is. He groans lowly when your hand wraps around his print, "and I’m needy?"

"Don’t tease me." His fingers slip out of you to grip onto your thighs tightly and you begin to undo his belt and jeans. "Let me show you how much I like you, okay?" Matt lifts his hips up to pull down his pants when you drop to your knees, staring up at him through your lashes and playing with the waistband of his boxers. "Okay."

Matt lets out a moan of relief and throws his head back when you finally pull them down and take his dick in your mouth. He didn't think you could get any prettier but seeing you like this was heavenly – it was like all of his 14 year old fantasies coming true.

"Oh my god, sweetheart." You feel Matt's hands grabbing your hair and gently moving it out of your face so he could really look at you. You hum with his cock in your mouth and when he moans from the vibrations, you try to go deeper and you can feel his tip at the back of your throat and the salty taste of his pre-cum makes you choke. "Fuck. You don't have to do that."

"I wanted to." You smile sweetly and look up at Matt, watching the way he licks his lips when you rub your thumb against his swollen red tip and a strangled noise escapes his throat. Your knees are beginning to hurt but just before you could wrap your mouth around him again, Matt is holding your face and pulling you back up to his face.

"I really want to fuck you." Matt whispers lowly when he leans up to kiss your neck and just before you straddle him again, his hands are pulling your thong down your legs and toying with the lace on it. "Let me ride you." You whisper and Matt feels his heart race at the way you're looking at him as if he had no choice but to let you.

A small squeal leaves your throat when Matt pulls you on his lap abruptly and you both chuckle lowly before you're grabbing his face and kissing his lips as if your life depended on it.

His hands come up to undo your bra and when it comes off a few seconds later, you definitely know he's done this before. You grind your hips so you can feel his tip rub against your clit that feels so good that you pull away from the kiss to moan.

Matt's breathless when his hands grip your hips, helping you grind against him and feeling you get wetter by the second, "I don't have a condom." When he says this, you don't really think it through stupidly enough and just shake your head. "It's okay. I'm on the pill." This moment felt too nice to just stop and Matt just went along with it – obviously thinking with his dick.

When Matt finally thrusts up into you, the stretch stings and you've really underestimated how big he is because he already feels so deep. It was one thing having him in your mouth but when he's fucking up into you like this felt so much more intense and you couldn't tell if you were just really cock drunk or completely in love.

Probably both.

"Fuck, I swear this pussy was made for me."

Definitely both.

"It's yours." You moan when you ride your hips on his dick, pushing him down on the seat and Matt is in amazement when he looks up at you with flushed cheeks. His hands are trailing up and down your body, wanting to touch everywhere all at once when he leans up to try and kiss you. "All yours." You whisper and his lips are on yours.

The kiss is messy, hot and passionate all at once and when your movements gets faster, you're practically moaning into each other's mouths. The car slowly moves with rhythm and you subconsciously pray nobody can see from outside even if it's dark because it's really obvious with the steamed up windows around you both.

Matt notices the way your thighs begin to shake and the way your bouncing becomes quicker, "Are you gonna cum?"

You let out a mix between a hum and a moan, nodding your head when you feel your legs begin to burn. But just as you feel the familiar tightness in your tummy, Matt's holding your waist tightly and thrusting up so hard into you, it makes you cum instantly and you gush around him.

The music playing softly in the background is drowned out by your loud moans and Matt has a smug smirk on his face when your eyes roll back and your orgasm takes over until he feels his own. In all honestly, he was ready to bust the minute he was inside you but he had to make you cum first. It was a priority.

In your post orgasm haze, you don't even feel Matt lifting you off his dick until you see his cum spurting out onto his hand and tummy. "Mhm, fuck." Rolling his head back, Matt groans lowly and it makes your pussy flutter when you watch breathlessly.

The two of you are covered in a thin layer of sweat with flushed skin and neither of you care about the smell of sex surrounding you from being too high off of the pheromones. A part of you is shocked that you've just fucked someone on the first date but the other part is okay with it because it's Matt.

Matt. Matt. Matt.

"Did you really mean it?"

You blink to see Matt looking down at his hands on your body, tracing shapes on your hips gently. "Hm? What?" You swallow and he gulps, slowly looking up into your eyes, "Did you mean it? When you said you're all mine?" You can tell he's nervous when he asks this, almost afraid of your response, and your hands fall on top of his. "Yeah."

He hides his smile and you speak up again, "Did you want me to mean it?" Matt locks his fingers into yours when he nods, "Yeah."

You smile happily and lean in to kiss him softly, being careful of the mess between the two of you. It was a sweet kiss with a lot of feelings shown behind it, the type that makes you feel butterflies and never forget for a long time because it really meant something.

"'Good. Because I really want to do this again." Even after that kiss and the hottest sex you've ever had in your life, you're still nervous to bring up the idea of a second date but Matt's face just lights up. "Oh I'm definitely taking you out again. Don't worry about that."

He sounds cocky and it makes you laugh, running a hand through his messy hair and making it even messier. "I'm really looking forward to it." Matt pokes at your blushing cheeks with a small smile, appreciating the way you sound so sweet and genuine talking about seeing him again.

It felt hopeful.

There's so much Matt wants to say but now he knew there was more time. This definitely wasn't a one off thing and deep down he knew this wasn't just a crush either. He's not even sure if it ever was just a 'crush' because how could anyone just have a crush on you?

That was impossible.

"Does this mean you'll seduce me into the backseat of your car on the second date?" You joke playfully, holding back your laughter with a silly grin and when Matt laughs, so do you.

"You're an idiot." There’s a pause.

"But if you're lucky," He says lowly once you both stop laughing and you just tilt your head in response, "You'll end up in my bed."

"Is that a promise?"

"Yep."

[angstyaches]

If you are still taking prompts 🛏 🌸 for Claudette? Bad tummy ache?

I can't find the ask game right now, but I'm pretty sure the emojis were 🛏 someone by their bed when they wake up, and 🌸 something that comforts them.

CW: stomach ache, stress, family tensions, vague angst that I'll address in future fics, platonic caretaking.

___

Everything is just a bit much right now.

Claudette scowled and erased the words she’d typed into the chat box. Talk about dramatic!

My stomach hurts.

Hmm. They chewed the inside of their cheek before tapping the backspace symbol again. Not that either. It was good; it specified a physical symptom instead of a general feeling of overwhelm. But what were they, a baby? Taken down by a little tummy ache?

Not feeling great.

Claudette tilted their head. Yeah. The tone was mature and neutral. There was any number of colds and flus and viruses swirling around campus these days, and it was reasonable that she wouldn’t want to expose Autumn to any of those.

Just like she didn't want to expose Autumn to the swirling vortex of misery she was currently attracting.

They added Sorry to cancel last minute, love you x before hitting send.

She lay on her back and shut her eyes, focusing on the weight of the hot water bottle on their stomach. Well, calling it hot would be generous. It’d cooled so much that all it was contributing to the situation was a small amount of pressure. They’d filled it about two hours ago, when they’d first laid down in bed, hoping a few hours’ rest would make them feel better. They’d had this dinner with Autumn planned for over a week, and they’d seen so little of each other…

The pain pulsed just behind their belly button, seemingly draining the energy from the rest of their body.

A single knock on the door made them flinch.

“Ugh. What?”

Jayden pushed the door open. His feet remained planted in the hallway as he leaned his torso inside the room. His jaws moved rhythmically, like he was chewing gum.

“Where’re the razors?”

Claudette groaned and slowly sat up under their duvet, bracing their hands on the mattress. “What?”

“The razors, where are they?” Jayden mimicked shaving the underside of his chin. “The disposable ones, with the green handles.”

“How would I know? I haven’t used a razor in months.”

Jayden rolled his eyes and started to leave.

“Jay, wait.”

He looked at her.

Claudette already knew what the answer to this question was going to be. But they really didn’t want to try and move, so they had to try this instead. She pulled the hot water bottle out from under the comforter, its contents sloshing.

“Will you make me a fresh one, please?” she asked, as sincerely as she could manage. “It’s gone cold.”

Jayden scoffed. “No?”

Claudette rolled their eyes, disappointed but not surprised.

“Why do you need a –?” Jayden made a face and glanced to his left, scanning the pile of clothes on the chair. Clean clothes, at that. “Why does your room smell so weird?”

“Vanilla infuser. It’s nice,” Claudette murmured.

He blinked, regaining his train of thought. “Why do you need a hot water bottle in 27 degrees?”

“Because,” Claudette whinged. She hesitated, averting their gaze from their brother’s cynical expression. “I have a stomach ache. Get the fuck out of my room if you’re not going to help me.”

“Well, I don’t have time anyway, do I?” Jayden snapped. “I have to go out and buy new razors, apparently.”

Claudette grunted in a way she hoped conveyed how little she cared about her brother’s realisation that he had to go out and replace something that he, himself, had used up in the first place.

Jayden shut the door.

Claudette pulled the hot water bottle back into the bed, pulling it against their belly despite the dwindling heat inside. They slumped back against the pillow, tugging the glasses from their face.

She placed a hand over her stomach as she settled on her back again, realising that her own skin was warmer than the hot water bottle at this point. She massaged gently with her fingers, which instantly shook loose a low grumble inside of her. It sounded, for all in the world, like a declaration of hunger, but Claudette was the furthest thing from hungry without feeling physically nauseated.

She hadn’t been hungry all day, but at least the pain hadn’t hit any earlier.

Otherwise they mightn’t have made that afternoon’s deadline. It just sucked that they’d had to cancel their dinner plans with Autumn. They hadn’t seen much of each other lately, what with Claudette’s jam-packed schedule and Autumn’s time being increasingly spent with her partner.

Claudette knew it shouldn’t bother her, because they were adults with busy, separate lives. This wasn’t like their school days, where they could spend whole evenings and weekends just lying around reading magazines and giggling over the advice segments.

But still. Amidst everything else that was going on, she missed her best friend.

The pain in their stomach throbbed. They groaned and rubbed a little deeper. An acidic gurgle arose this time around, bringing up a hiccup that lodged in the back of Claudette’s throat.

Fuck this. Claudette rolled onto her side and scooped the water bottle up again, just for something to hold. They brushed their chin against the top of it, savouring the texture of its fluffy cover in a way that wasn't nice, wasn't unpleasant, wasn't anything but what it was.

Placebo effect. It’d be fine.

A little more sleep, and it’d be fine.

__

Claudette stirred upon sensing a presence in the room. Their muscles had retained so much tension, even in sleep, that it didn’t take long for them to reach full consciousness and full rage. Their teeth were working dully into the insides of their cheeks and there was a big crease in the pillowcase that was ingraining itself into the side of Claudette’s face.

And, lo and behold, the ache in their stomach was still there.

“What do you want now?” she groaned, rolling over with a hand on her stomach. Jayden rarely let himself in without knocking, not since they’d been nine years old. “Why can’t you just leave me alone, Jay?”

Someone gently cleared their throat.

Claudette flipped onto their side, goosebumps springing up all over. An indiscernible blur was lowering itself onto the edge of the mattress.

Well, it might have been an indiscernible blur to most folks whose desperately-needed glasses were still perched on their nightstand, but Claudette recognised the yellow portion of the blur as a floral blouse, beloved by its wearer. She could just about make out a mass of frizzy, mousey-brown hair that never sat well in the summer.

“Oh. You’re not Jayden.”

Autumn laughed. “No, I’m very much not.”

With a slow grunt, Claudette pushed herself up on one elbow and scooted backwards to make more room for Autumn to sit. “What’re you doing here, lady?”

“Well, I was already in the area when I was rain-checked via an unnecessarily vague text,” Autumn said pointedly. “So, I thought I’d come check up on you. God knows Jayden wasn’t going to.”

Claudette sighed in agreement as she sat up a little, curling one leg so that her knee was high enough to drape her arm across. They tried not to wince as their belly cramped, and focused on Autumn’s voice.

“You know, I just passed by him in the hall,” Autumn went on, “and he didn’t even say hello? You’d swear that boy was raised in a barn.”

Claudette scoffed and shook her head, though it was more in disbelief of Autumn than of her twin. It hadn’t occurred to Claudette that Autumn would come over once she heard they weren’t feeling well, and yet… now that it had happened, it was the most obvious possible outcome.

“How’d you know I wouldn’t be contagious or something?”

“Best friend instincts.”

Claudette raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, you want specifics? Alright, let’s go.” The Autumn-shaped blur lifted a hand, presumably about to start counting fingers. “You just got done with your mid-term exams –”

Disaster.

“Three out of your five summer internship applications have been rejected.”

Thanks for the reminder.

“I know there’s been some…” Autumn sighed in mild frustration, “some kind of drama going on with the Pride Soc.members –”

If you call missing funds that I’m being accused of misplacing ‘drama’ – Claudette swallowed hard. They hadn’t quite told Autumn the nature of the Pride Soc. drama, hence Autumn’s indignant tone.

“Your thesis supervisor is on indefinite medical leave; your brother’s a piece of work; it was just your dad’s birthday last weekend, which I know is a rough time…”

Claudette narrowed their eyes, feeling a little bile rise up to meet the lump in their throat. And a flash of scarlet behind their eyes. They’d heard enough of their shortcomings and failures.

And the worst part was that she hadn’t even touched upon the biggest, heaviest cloud that had been tracking Claudette’s movements the past few weeks. The one that crept closer every time they opened social media and saw just how many people were speaking out and trying to strip away rights – rights that, if they’d been stricken just a few years before, Claudette’s life would look very differently without.

Whether or not Autumn was building up to mentioning the world’s angry mob mentalities, Claudette couldn’t listen to another word.

“Are you going somewhere with this, A?” they half-snapped.

Autumn sighed again. Her hand reached across to a few strands of Claudette’s hair that had fallen, draped, over the creases in the blanket. “Where I’m going with this, chickadee, is that I know you. I know that you put on a big show about this girl-boss-slash-tough-guy type who doesn’t care what other people think.”

A knot of pain in Claudette’s throat suddenly seemed to mirror the one in their stomach.

“But I also know that stress hits you hard. Usually, right in the belly. I bet you a full-sized Snickers that you’re packing a hot water bottle under there.”

Claudette conceded with a groan. She felt her face flush. “It’s cold now, but… yeah.”

“Ah, so, I was right? Stress tummy ache hours?”

Claudette grumbled wordlessly, tugging the comforter closer to their chin. “Sounds pretty pathetic when you put it like that, huh.”

“No,” Autumn chuckled, “it doesn’t! You’ve had a lot going on. I would have had a meltdown by now, if I were you.”

No, Claudette thought dully, struggling to reach around her best friend to grab her glasses, without feeling like her stomach was going to snap inside her. A soft belch rumbled up their chest, which Autumn either didn’t hear, or didn’t mention.

Autumn leaned forward to grab her backpack from the floor. It was navy-blue, same as her beret. Same as her ankle boots. Everything about Autumn was so coordinated.

So thought-out.

So capable.

Meanwhile, Claudette was struggling to keep her jaw from trembling, her eyes fogged up and blurry even now that she had her glasses on.

“So,” Autumn said as she unzipped her bag. “I thought I’d lend you my laptop and hard drive for a bit, so you’d have something to take your mind off everything for a little bit. Do you want me to put something on…?”

Claudette pushed their fingers between their eyes, beneath the bridge of their glasses. Their hair fell across her face again. Erratic spasms filled her belly. Clouded thoughts bit at the edges of their mind.

“What are you in the mood for? Romeo and Juliet, Much Ado About Nothing, West Side Story…?” Autumn paused. “Chick? Chick, oh my god, what’s – what is it?”

Claudette slowly shook her head and sobbed. They opened their mouth and turned towards Autumn, and her face was so open, so gentle, so kind, that they wanted to speak, they really did, but the feelings were too tangled up inside of them to make any sense, and anyway, on some level, they knew their best friend would just… know.

“Claude.” Autumn’s voice trembled. She shoved the computer off her lap and across the bedspread and flung her arms around Claudette’s shoulders.

Claudette leaned into the embrace, still hugging her own knee, choking on sobs that wouldn’t stay put. They let themself be swamped in the smell of Autumn’s floral body spray until she was simply rocking them from side to side, and they didn’t feel the need to grimace, or gasp, or do anything but simply… exist. And be held.

They unwrapped their arm from their leg and pushed it through their hair. “It’s… Mother’s Day this weekend.”

Autumn pulled back. Her hat was starting to slip down the side of her head from hugging, but she hadn’t seemed to realise yet. “I – I know. I realised.”

Claudette pursed her lips and exhaled. “Yeah. Um, it’s… it’s just been in the back of my mind, and I… Yeah.”

“You want to talk about it?”

“Nope.” Claudette sniffled gently. “So, Much Ado About Nothing. Are we talkingBranagh, or Whedon?”

A subtle smile crossed Autumn’s face. “Whedon.”

“Mmph.” Claudette reached for Autumn’s laptop and pulled it closer. “What else you got on here, lady?”

“Uh, hmm…” Autumn chuckled under her breath and tucked some hair behind her ear. She leaned her cheek on Claudette’s shoulder as they scrolled. She pointed to a file on the screen. “Oh, I’ve got West Side Story, if you fancy a trip down memory lane.”

A laugh bubbled its way up through the tension in Claudette’s chest. The first musical the two of them had gone to see together. She leaned her head against Autumn’s. “That sounds perfect right about now.”

“You’ve got it. Sofa, or bed?”

“Bed. For sure.”

Claudette shifted the cold-hot water bottle, tossing it over their back so that it landed next to the wall. They shuffled backwards a bit, lifting the comforter and keeping their arm outstretched. “Get in,” they murmured.

Autumn stood up long enough to kick off her boots, drop her jacket, and lay her hat on top of the books and boxes on Claudette’s desk. She slipped under the covers, and Claudette pulled the comforter back into position, this time with her friend locked into a hug.

With what little movement her arms still had, Autumn set up the movie with her laptop perched on the mattress.

“Oh – wait, crap,” she said, hesitating before hitting the play button. She looked over her shoulder at Claudette. “I was going to refill your hot water bottle for you.”

“No need.” Claudette hugged her friend a little harder. “I’ve got you.”

[baby-n-boo]

Pink is not a girl’s color- regressor! Tommy, finally big brother tubbo, cg! Wilbur

Tommy was little. There was no two ways to put it. And, as if it wasn’t obvious enough from the fact he hadn't sworn in a whole ten minutes, His thumb was inserted firmly in his mouth as he gamed one-handedly, a small piece of paper over each of the webcams on his monitors, in case someone saw. He had finished his stream that day in rather a hurry, logging off of the dream SMP almost as soon as the confirmation came through that the stream had ended, already feeling the pull of the headspace on his mind, and knowing he wouldn’t have been able to hide it from his friends should he have fully slipped. But, for now, he was idly wandering around a solo server he had made for himself, trying to remember where he had built his home last time he had been on the server. His chair creaked in protest, as he tried to bring his knees up to his chest, resting his feet on the very edge of the seat, making him jump. It wasn’t that he was easily scared when little, but the fact he had become accustomed to the silence that seemed to surround him when he was small, since nobody ever wanted to talk to him without being mean.  

But it was ok. He could look after himself. He was a big boy, really! Mumbling to himself, around his thumb, he tried to direct his character over to the little hill he could see in the distance, not noticing the river running between himself and said mound, and promptly falling right in. At the sudden change of perspective, Tommy panicked, pulling his hand away from the keyboard like it had burnt him, in the hopes it would be fixed if he stopped. But it didn’t, leaving him arrested in fear, watching as the pretty bubbles went away, and his character started taking damage. He didn’t want the pretty red hearts to go away, they were nice!  

Whining slightly as the last one slipped away, and the death message popped up on screen, shading everything in a dim sort of red, Tommy shoved the mouse away too in frustration, refusing to respawn. He wore a stubborn pout as he spun on his chair to turn his back on the screens, just in time for a knock to sound on his door. Worrying for a moment, he yanked his thumb out, and minimised the tab, not wanting anyone to see, before calling out a “Yeah?” that sounded too loud and brash to be right, even for his normal self.  

Wilbur, poking his head through the door carefully, smiled to see Tommy not doing much, before starting to speak. “I, uh, I saw your stream ended? I was wondering if you wanted to come spend some time with real people now?” he joked, referencing how little time Tommy actually spent socialising. Despite how much he really really wanted to nod yes, and go with him, Tommy shook his head, carefully measuring his voice to reply. “Nah, you’re alright, I have masses of women to talk to.” he tried to joke back, his smile just a little too wide, the usual bravado missing from the tone, though Will shrugged it off, sure that if something was up, Tommy wouldn’t hesitate to complain about it.  

“Well, if you change your mind, don’t forget, Toby and I ’re right downstairs.” He reminded Tommy, with a slightly stern look, before ducking back out the door frame. He tried to nod an affirmation, turning as if to go back to his game, but, as soon as he heard the door click back into place, and the creak of the stairs, he pushed up off his chair, padding over to his bed instead. He wasn’t big enough for gaming, right now, and certainly not to go face his friends. Don’t get him wrong, he was glad they had offered to come over and keep him company while his parents were away for some business trip or other, but it was hard to hide his little space from them when he knew they would be watching his streams, and constantly reminding him to actually care for himself. Especially since it had saved him the embarrassment of his parents hiring some babysitter that never actually did anything, once they found out how old he was.  

Tummy rumbling as he sat down cross-legged amid the rumpled sheets, and pulled his favourite blanket out from under his pillow, Tommy whined, having run out of fruit snacks the previous night when he had been streaming till two in the morning. Normally, it wouldn’t be an issue, him just having to sneak down and grab something from the cupboards under the guise of still streaming, but he knew, as soon as he set foot on the stairs today, his friends would be dragging him into a switch game tournament, or a conversation, or, even worse, a trip to the store. Shuddering at the very thought of going outside, Tommy shook his head. No, going hungry was much better than whatever they had in store for him.  

His PC kept chiming with discord messages, probably from his other streamer friends to wonder why he had ended so fast, but he merely ignored them, balling up under the ratty sky-blue blanket, and trying to get his head to stop being quite so fuzzy. It didn’t help as his thumb crept back into his mouth, brushing against the cold metal of his braces, and he curled tighter, the scratchy material of his jeans starting to irritate him, as he slipped further and further. It was only a matter of time before something bad happened, so, desperately clinging to the last shreds of his adult mind, Tommy stumbled over to his closet, kicking off his jeans and baseball shirt in a frenzy of unstable movement.  

Once he was sure that it was all off, he glanced nervously toward the door, and quickly grabbed a bundle of material, throwing it onto the bed before someone could burst in and see it. Yanking a pair of shorts over his boxers, he quickly scurried back to the comfy area, hiding between the sheets as he fought his way into the other thing, a hoodie that was clearly multiple sizes too big, smelling of a foreign but comforting cologne. He’d picked it up from Wilbur’s bag the first night he had been here, thinking it had been his own, and had been reluctant to give it back upon discovering it, in fact, was not, something about how it made him feel small making it appealing.  

Flipping up the hood, so it fell over his eyes, Tommy giggled, flapping around the oversized sleeves in a childish manner, entertained by even the slightest of things in little space. By this point, his adult mind had entirely slipped away, replaced with the simple, cotton candy thoughts of the child Tommy now was. Confused as to why he was being so boring and lying round in bed all day, he pushed back his coverings with a smile, before gasping, looking around for Henry - his cow plush- in between the all-together too mature sheets. Black circles were just so grown up! Where were the dinosaurs? Or the racing cars!  

Temporarily distracted from his search by the thought of cars, Tommy gasped, running over to his cupboard, where he hid away all his colouring books, dragging out some nice-looking ones, and his big box of Crayola pens, giggling as they rattled noisily. Throwing them to the floor, Tommy lay down on his tummy across his rug, pushing up the too-long sleeves until he could see hs fingers. Wiggling them around, he couldn’t help but beam, it being such a silly movement, especially as they all bunched up to try picking up the slippery box of pens, only for it to bump back down. Kicking contentedly as he tried again, it wasn’t long before it was tipped upside down, the rainbow of colors spreading across the rug in a mess only a child could make, blues bouncing and reds rolling. In fact, every color other than pink.  

Not that Tommy noticed this lack, grabbing up his favourite colour, and flipping to a random page, cheering as it was a cool race car, with flames up the sides, all waiting to be coloured. Uncapping the pen with his teeth, he kept the lid in, chewing on the tip of it as he scribbled messily up and down the door of the car, smiling as it got bluer and bluer the more that he scribbled. Even if it didn’t particularly stay in the lines. Blue was nice, it was a boy’s color, like the sky, and the sea, and blue race cars that go nyoom! Will once said blue was a happy color, so that must mean it was good! Why else would he say it?  

It wasn’t like pink. Bleh, pink is a girl’s color, why would he want /that/? Pink was all flowers and dresses and bubblegum, blehhhh. Pulling a disgusted face, sticking his tongue out, which, in turn, made the lid fall out, Tommy shook his head. No, pink was most definitely not for a big boy like him. In his daydreaming, he hadn't heard the stairs creak, nor the tentative knock on the door, not realising as Tubbo crept into the room. “Hey, Tommy? Wilbur said we could ord- oh.” he started, before noticing his friend on the floor, surrounded by coloring pens. Tommy, spinning round at the familiar voice, smiled to see Tubbo, waving gently with his uncapped pen, but making no effort to get up, instead turning back to his coloring once he was done. “Well, I was gunna ask what pizza you wanted, but it’s ok, I'll just say pepperoni. Have fun with … what you’re doing.” Tubbo murmured, not wanting to disturb Tommy when he seemed so concentrated, instead shutting the door behind himself, and heading back down the stairs to where Wilbur was waiting on the sofa.

“Hey. What’d he say?” Will greeted, his laptop open to some takeout website, smiling gently as Tubbo relayed the information for pepperoni, before placing the order quickly. “Alright, that’s done, is he coming down?” he asked, shutting his laptop once he was done, just as Tubbo settled back in the armchair and picked up his switch. “Nah, he’s little.” he spoke simply, as if it was common knowledge, reopening his animal crossing island to keep fishing, like he had been. Confused, Wilbur tilted his head, brushing aside his hair as it flopped over his eyes, and let out a quiet “Huh?”, making Tubbo look up, and meet his eyes. “What do you mean little?” he asked, curiously, not understanding as the teen clammed up, looking mortified. “I shouldn’t have said that. I should /not/ have said that.” He muttered, hiding his red face behind the console. “It’s not my place to say.” he tried to wriggle out of the situation, but, with a stern look from Wilbur, he was pinned in place.  

“um...wow, how to put it...” he fidgeted in place, trying to find the words to explain to a rapidly more and more concerned WIlbur. “um...he’s thinking like a kid...not Tommy?” he tried, but, from the blank look he got back, he knew that wasn’t enough. “It’s...It’s like a response to stress? Or...or just cuz...?” he tried again, watching as Will nodded slowly. “Um...he’s coloring right now...i don’t think he wants to be bothered?” he interrupted, as Will stood, to go up the stairs. “I could...i could try to find a website to explain to you, if you wanted? I'm... I'm not too good at this.” Tubbo offered, reaching for his laptop, silently relieved as Wilbur sat back down.  

“That would be nice, actually, I'm lost.” He admitted, handing it over, and watching as Tubbo struggled to type out whatever he was trying to, eventually finding a page that seemed right. “Uh, it’s a Tumblr page but...i think it’s got the stuff on...” he mumbled, passing the brightly coloured page back over to him. Credit to him, as Tubbo watched on nervously, Will didn’t seem disgusted, reading with genuine intellectual curiosity, before sitting back. “Woah, okay. That’s intense.” He commented, letting out a deep exhale, and rubbing his eyes. “Why is he little, did you say?” he asked, but Tubbo froze. “I’m...i’m actually not sure. Tommy does it both ways, on purpose and not. Maybe the lore stream today? He did end quickly...” he commented mostly to himself, then rubbing his upper arm. “He normally comes and DMs me after if it’s been a hard stream though... maybe cuz you’re here, he didn’t want to talk about it?”  

Throwing out theories, Tubbo tried to hide his confusion and slight hurt that the little he liked to think of as his baby brother when he was in headspace, hadn't told him, chewing on his nails a little. “I do know he calls you his brother though...maybe he was shy in case you didn’t like him doing it?” he murmured, eyes flicking up to the bespectacled 24 year old watching with rapt attention. Luckily, he looked amused, adjusting his beanie. “Hey, it wouldn’t be the only time, I'm practically his older brother all the time.” He chuckled, casting an eye over the page still up on his screen. “It says here about something called...CGs?” he sounded tentative as he looked up to Tubbo again. “It does, and before you ask, No, he doesn’t have one. And yes, he really should, the chaotic doesn’t go down.” he replied, feeling a lot more comfortable now they could make fun of his friend again.  

“Should...should we head upstairs, go make sure he doesn’t like...set fire to something?” Will suggested, after a few moments of chuckling, right before a loud thump interrupted Tubbo’s beginning complaint. “Ok, Ok , maybe that’s a good idea.” he smiled, putting his switch to the side before standing. “I’ll go warn him.” He held out a hand to stop Will mounting the steps before him, smiling as he feigned offense. “Trust me, you wanna prepare for this, he might still be Tommy, but he’s... different.” Running up the stairs, best as he could, with the nerves he now had in every vein, he quickly pushed open the door, to see the little tugging at a stuffed animal wedge in a cardboard box. Carefully pulli ng it out, he easily identified it as Henry, pushing it into Tommy’s arms with a smile. “I have a surprise for you, Toms, you ready?” he asked, keeping his voice gentle as Tommy nodded enthusiastically. “Awe, good!”  

Awkward, shuffling footsteps were the only indicator Will was coming in, before he rounded the corner, with a small smile. “H-Hi Tommy.” his arms were held awkwardly in front of him, crossed across his chest like he didn’t know how to react. But it wasn’t too much of an issue, since, as soon as he saw Wilbur, Tommy jumped to his feet, running to him. “Wilby!” he cheered, hugging him tightly. “Missed chu!” he grinned, as Will hesitantly pet his hair. “Uh, hey kid, whatchu up to?” he asked, as Tubbo watched on with a soft smile, perching on the bed.  “I heard you were coloring?” he asked, looking to the teen for confirmation, as he nodded enthusiastically again, and dropped to his knees, grabbing his pens to keep going.  

“Yeah! Iz blu!” he smiled, thrusting a cyan pen to the elder one. Carefully sitting down between him and the wall, Wilbur smiled and nodded. “You’re right, it is blue. Do you like blue?” Clearly that was the right question, since Tommy started speaking, so fast they could barely get a word in edgewise, about the color, kicking his legs happily as he started to scribble again, starting to color in the fire on the side of the car now, under the watchful eye of his friends.  

Furrowing his brow slightly at the missing color, Will spoke up, after some small humming being the only thing to break the silence. “Hey, Toms, where’s your pink?” he wondered aloud, jumping slightly as Tommy shouted a “No!”, rather vehement. “No,no, no! Pink for /girls/.” he mumbled, when Will shushed him. Curious, he tilted his head, his hair falling agin, and ‘hmm’d  slightly. “Pink isnt a girl’s color, Tommy, what makes you think that?” he didn’t understand, not even as Tommy sent him a disbelieving face. “Pink...pink for princess” he struggled to explain, making Tubbo nod quietly from where he sat.  “But, I like pink, Toms, am I a princess?” he chimed in, taken aback as Tommy giggled, and nodded. “P’incess tubby!” he smiled, making Wilbur chuckle and nod. “That’s right, kid, Toby’s a princess now.” watching the teen stand and mockingly spin around, before carefully bopping Tommy’s head, like a fairy. “ding, ding, Tommy is now a kid!” he laughed, moving over to the cupboard that usually housed the colouring, pulling out a shameful looking pink tub, and placing it on the floor beside the kid. “Let’s try these ones too, huh?” Will prompted, picking up a pastel pink, and doodling a small flower in the corner.  

Tommy nodded, gently, slipping a little, pink pacifier into his mouth when nobody was looking, and hesitantly choosing a maroon pen, trying a clumsy smiley face, soon joined by tubbo doodling a bee, of course. Laughing, Will tried another flower, and a heart, wanting to keep what he did simple, making Tommy smile as a little of the ink went over his fingers. Catching the pen before he tried to draw on his own face, Will tutted gently at Tommy, his new little friend. His little...brother? Before they realised it, the scribbly car had been overshadowed by their doodles, Tommy having branched out into pink the more his friends didn’t seem to mind it being there, slowly smiling more and more, until he was giggling loud and free, fully convinced now, that Pink was, in fact, not a girl’s color.  

[bumbershots]

A CERTAIN ROMANCE

CHAPTER TWO: MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY

Author’s note: Hello! Thanks a lot to everyone for reading this, I’m over the moon with the messages you sent after posting the first chapter. Keep them coming, and enjoy! ~ Alex

Story Masterlist ** Word count 2.3K ** 

If she was prettier and a bit smarter. If she were special, like the Instagram models that Teen Vogue features in their cover nowadays. She would have the guts to take three steps towards him and ask if he is who she thinks he is.

Harry is standing once again across from her, and she doesn't even know that he is wearing his beloved woolly jumper that has a picture of the planet Saturn on it, just for her. The girl wonders if they've heard of Styles on that planet, too. Of course they have, she scolds herself looking away from him at last, not believing her luck. For the third time on a Thursday, at half past three, he's jumping in the train right after her. The first time could've been luck, second one was a lovely coincidence but a third time? It's a charm. That's what her grandma would say.

But she isn't brave enough to walk up to him, not because of who he is, but the pressure and build up around the entire situation. What if he's a dickhead? She frowns at the thought, knowing it can't be true, not when his eyes, the so-called windows of the soul, are that nice.

They're both in a corner of the train this time, conversations start to sputter around as people try to keep their own talk ticking along on autopilot. He seems to be busy, reading Keith Richards' autobiography, she wants to talk to him about it, it's been a while since she read it though she still remembers it clear as day. The next one is his stop, she sighs in defeat at her own cowardly nature and takes out her mobile only to look busy.

Harry wants to talk to her, this is the third Thursday in a row, he's afraid there won't be a fourth one. He's back from his last meeting with Jack and Fernando, everything is set to start the renovation. He won't be taking this route anymore, it's now or never. But it's harder than he thought, to approach her and that's it, he doesn't know what he's supposed to do once he stands before her.

The speaker announces his stop, but instead of leaning away from the wall and walking out of the train, he flips the page of his book, letting the doors close and stays on the carriage for the next station. He is so nervous, a bit scared of his bold choice to stay on the line without a well defined plan. He's never been this nervous about talking to someone, the butterflies on his tummy at the mere sight of her are restless. Maybe if he scoots closer, little by little, he can nudge her side and mouth her a polite "hello," a warm smile afterwards so she doesn't think it's a come on. Except it is.

Harry closes his book, deciding that it's stupid and honesty is the best way to anything. He will just greet her and ask if he can buy her a cup of coffee someday, easy, breezy like Jack says. His green eyes follow her out of the train, they just reach Colindale station, before he can process what is going on or even move, the doors close and the vehicle is moving back to the tunnel. Away from her and his last chance. His mouth is dry and it's like he stuffed it to the brim with cotton.

He got off on Burnt Oak and switched direction, he was so mad at himself, the deep frown on his face said it all. This was supposed to be his chick flick moment and he ruined it by not doing anything at all. He keeps his face glued to the door closest to him, waiting for her to come up and smile at him in that knowing way. Perhaps then he would stand tall, mention that cup of coffee after introductions are made and she will agree. But she doesn't come back on the next station, or the three following ones. Harry gets off the train with a cloud looming above him, the wind is blowing in that nasty way that announces a storm following suit. The singer hurries to his home, trying to beat it.

The rain comes out of nowhere in full force just as Harry walks through his front gate, dashing to the inside of his house. He decides to fix himself a light lunch to keep his mind from wondering if she made it to her destination before the rain caught up with her. A text message from Jack does the trick, he sent him the address for Freddie's birthday. Harry can't believe that's tonight.

"Hello stranger," Gemma's voice greets the musician after the second ring. "All right?"

"All right, just forgot about plans I had for the evening," he hated to cancel dinner with his sister, "come with me?" Harry's tone is hopeful, she can almost picture his adorable cherub face, eyes sparkling.

"Is it with your teenage friends?" He hums trying to come up with a lie, "Harry we can have our dinner tomorrow night instead, I don't mind." As much as she loves her brother, that doesn't extend to that certain group of acquaintances.

"They're not that bad!"

"Baby brother, have fun with the lads, I'll see you tomorrow, pick me up at eight o'clock." She states before ending the call. Harry huffs before finishing his veggie wrap and jumps in the shower.

Perhaps he should've told Gemma that his mood tonight wasn't the best, that although he wanted to go out and about, he didn't want to do it alone. But her reasons to avoid his less mature group of mates are valid so he grabs his parka and his phone and, a little stooped, heads for the flat where the party is held.

A few years ago, he set himself three tasks: prioritise friends, learn how to be an adult, achieve a proper balance between the big and the small. Harry genuinely loves the fittings of his outfits before tour, playing his music for thousands. But he realised, as well, that the coolest things are not always the cool things. Tonight he's hearing anecdotes of how his friends sold almost everything they owned, to be able to afford a trip to the World Cup in Russia the year before. He knows that England almost made it to the final, but to see the agony and pain reflected on Freddie's eyes as he tells the story is truly humbling and heartbreaking.

"They had to escort me out, an hour after the match ended." The birthday lad finishes with glossy eyes. "I've never felt so powerless in my life, the world just seemed so unfair from then on, you know?" Harry doesn't, but he nods and finishes his drink. "But enough about good old me, what about you?"

"Same old, touring for a while, back in British soil before I take off again." He doesn't like giving rehearsed answers to his friends, but they're surrounded by at least a dozen people carrying out their own conversations while straining to hear what Styles says.

"Thinking about the next album already?" His friend's amazement is genuine, "can't believe what you'll hit me with next!" Freddie was his rocker friend. The one with an expensive vinyl collection, the one to never miss a Rolling Stones show, the one that religiously attended Glastonbury every year. Remembering this, Harry relaxed and decided to share with him a topic that left him vulnerable.

"You can expect a lot of break up songs that's for sure," he tries to joke but Freddie's smile falters a bit.

"How long has it been?"

"It'll be a year next month." He can't believe it still feels so recent and not at the same time. "I'm getting used to it." Freddie sighs and nods in understanding.

"I'm sorry you have to go through a shit thing like that, you're one of the good ones H," the green eyed musician is blushing, waving his hand at his companion in an attempt to dismiss his words. "It's the truth I mean... look around us, Jack has been on and off with Alexis for years," the two men observe the couple they're discussing, nothing seems wrong with them but Freddie's words are true, Jack has a habit of calling it quits with the redhead once she brings up marriage. "Kiera and Mosas cheat on each other all the time, we're not even sure if they're still together at this point... last but not least you have Alf, Christophe, Ruben and myself, four emotionally unavailable men who can't commit because they can't get their shit together." Silence takes over the two friends, it's deafening even though the background music can be heard loud and clear.

"I made some shitty decisions too, that's what drove her away," Harry wants to continue, the tequila shots seemed to have loosened his tongue.

"No, no, no you listen to me," Freddie's hands hold his younger friend's face carefully. "I know you're not a dishonest scummy man, you're allowed to make mistakes in a relationship and learn from them... don't be like Alf," he lets Harry's face go and nods towards the tallest guy in the room, "he had a brief relationship with a Portuguese girl, charmed her socks off and when she planned to move here guess what he did?"

"What?" Harry knew the answer, but he wanted to give his friend the benefit of the doubt.

"He cuts her off! Ghosting is what they call it nowadays. Just like that... and you think he learned, except that he doesn't!" His friend is now sounding too frustrated. "I saw him do the same thing to Al, perhaps it was a bit different she already lived here but she wanted more and just—" he can't finish his thought and Harry feels for his friend. "We all do that, it's a trend."

"Must be something in the water." The curly one tries to joke and he earns a soft smile from the birthday guy, along with a heartwarming hug. "You can always ring me Freddie, to chat and if I'm home see each other." Harry knows this is something new in their friendship, but he feels it necessary, after so many years of knowing each other. He can tell that Freddie is trying to find his way into adulthood, something that Harry had to experience at a much younger age due to his career.

"Thanks mate, I would really like that." Harry is about to ask Freddie about his family's well-being when a figure entering the room caught his eye, she was wearing the burgundy coat like that first Thursday he was lucky enough to lay eyes on her, high-waisted trousers. The newsboy cap was missing though, but he was glad because it gave her curly hair the freedom it lacked before.

Of all the places where he thought they might meet again, his friend's birthday party was certainly not on the list. She was here, greeting Jack and the others, pulling her sleeve to show how uncomfortable she was at making small talk with Alexis and Keira. She has to crane her neck up a bit when talking to, well pretty much anyone in the room.

This is the miracle he's been waiting for, he thinks just as the song changes to The Beach Boys' and a small smirk threatens to expand on Harry's lips, he does want to ask her if she wants to dance like the sixties tune suggested.

"Harry it's nice to see you again!" Fernando stands in the way blocking the view between the musician and the tube girl. He cringes a bit at the nickname and makes a mental note to learn her name, the sooner the better.

"Fer, I have missed you since we last saw each other earlier today," the architect laughs and so does Freddie. "Would you like a beer?" Forever polite Harry asks.

"No, I'm driving tonight but I'll fetch one for my sister," he says stepping around the bar where Harry and Freddie have been leaning against for the past hour, "I'm starving though, do you mind if I order something Fred?"

"I have some pizza in the fridge man, help yourself." Fernando thanks him before nodding to the person standing behind Harry.

"This beer alright?" Harry turns around just in time to meet a pair of chocolate eyes staring at the guy behind the bar and nod in acceptance. "You already know Freddie and this is Harry," the curly guy is speechless, now up close she seems prettier than before and real. "Harry this is my sister Alma." She smiles in a sweet way that makes the pop star wonder if he's about to go into cardiac arrest.

"I saw you in the tube, Hampstead station guy!" Her voice was nothing like he had imagined, it was raspy and a hint of an accent he couldn't quite put his finger on was swimming through her words.

"That's me..." he admitted, the pink blush from his cheekbones migrating to his ears. Alma thought he looked adorable.

"Do you wanna dance?" She asked after a big gulp of her beer. All star by Smash Mouth just started playing, that was definitely not what Harry wanted to dance with her. Not that he had a secret plan to woo her with his moves, he wasn't the best dancer.

But he took her hand and let her lead the way to the unofficial dance floor, that on a regular day was the dining room. Oblivious to all the eyes focusing on them, Harry allowed himself to enjoy the unexpected turn of events, he had already wasted precious time not talking to this marvellous woman. Like Freddie said, he had to learn from his mistakes, instead of repeating them.

///

Let me know if you like the story! *** Join the taglist!

///

TAG LIST: @laurxn-robinson

Next chapter

[jovialyouthmusic]

Special Delivery

I get ready to move house, and confide in a friend about my new admirer. 

Word Count 2790

A/N This is not my garden or my house, much as I would like to share them. Just allow me some artistic licence - after all, the ‘me’ in this story is younger and single (can I take a few pounds off too?) I don’t even seem to have written any fanfic in this fantasy. This is pure self indulgence, some fluff and a few tears are shed. Again, no allowances made for British references, if anything puzzles you let me know.

Warning - mention of the death of a parent. Get the tissues ready, sorry.

4 Ready to Move

‘Hi Martin – are you going over to my place this afternoon?’ I rang my close friend to spring the news of my new helper on him the next day. We had known each other for a long time and had shared a lot of confidences over the years. He was just going through a rocky patch in his relationship and was glad of the chance to get away from his partner, even though she would probably accuse him of sleeping with me when he got home.  

‘Sure thing Lisa, I know that garden needs some knocking into place.’ He said in a tone that told me his partner was listening.

‘Martin, I need to tell you something.’

‘I’m sorry, I have to go out to the shops. I’ll talk to you later.’ he said, which was code for I’ll call you when Sue isn’t listening. I acknowledged his message, went back to clearing my wardrobe and waited for him to call back.

‘Hey Lisa, what’s the goss?’ He said as I answered a few minutes later ‘Sue’s really on my back so you’d better make it quick.’

‘I uh – I seem to have acquired an admirer – or a brother, I’m not sure which.’

‘Ooh.’ he said ‘Is he good looking? If you’re not sure if he’s an admirer or a brother, he’s gay.’

‘You always say that. According to you every man on the face of the earth apart from you is gay.’

‘Not true, just the good looking ones. Don’t get your hopes up, Lisa. I don’t want to see you hurt.’

‘Well anyway, if you come over to do some gardening you’ll meet him. I daren’t trust myself with him, he’s not only devastatingly handsome, he’s got a killer accent and he’s really sweet and kind.’

‘Gay.’ Martin asserted ‘So you don’t have to worry – but I might.’

‘Martin – pleeeease.’ I pleaded. ‘Come and tell me what you think.’

‘Okay, but you know I’m going to rip him to pieces.’ he asserted ‘Not literally, only behind his back.’

‘Thanks – I owe you. Coffee and cake sometime.’

‘Sure thing. Don’t worry, I’ll be there to chaperone you. Your virtue will remain unsullied.’

‘I sullied my virtue a long time ago.’ I scoffed.

‘Yeah, so you told me. Gotta go, see you later!’

-------

As promised, Fabio rang before he turned up, just after noon. I was already knee deep in boxes, deciding that if I worked on my bedroom first, we wouldn’t be working in it together and my mind wouldn’t keep straying in the wrong direction. I had lain awake for a while that night, telling myself over and over that Fabio was just a nice guy and it wasn’t leading anywhere. My dreams told me otherwise, and I woke in a cold sweat, almost expecting to see his head on the pillow beside me, but the weight I felt on my hip was the cat stretched out fast asleep. He grumbled as I moved, then settled in the crook of my knees instead, heavy and warm.

‘Hola, Lisa.’ Fabio said as he came in the door, and I remembered to turn my head slightly for the cheek kiss to ensure that his lips didn’t land anywhere that might give me ideas as to what else we could do together that afternoon.

‘Hi Fabio, thanks for coming.’ I greeted him. He looked at the empty boxes sitting by the bookcase, lifting his chin and nodding toward them.

‘Those will be heavy. I will pack them for you – you want them moved today?’

‘It would help keep the work down for the removal men. Anything that can go in a box, you can pack. I just want to keep a few things in the kitchen so I can make tea and a simple meal, but if we get a lot done I can always stay at the new place. There’s already some furniture of Mum’s there, it’s not so much a move as a reorganisation. I haven’t decided whether to rent furnished or empty.’

‘How about upstairs?’ he asked ‘I can carry heavy things down.’ He was already half way up the stairs, taking them two at a time with his long legs. I trailed after him, hovering anxiously on the tiny landing outside my bedroom as he looked around.

‘No, it’s okay.’ I said, my cheeks burning ‘I’ve already sorted the bedroom and I still need to sleep here.’

‘Lo seinto – I’m sorry Lisa.’ he replied, but in stepping out of the room we came very close to each other - close enough to smell his aftershave, which was becoming a familiar scent that made my tummy churn. Quickly I moved to the spare room, which was small and cluttered with a little foldaway bed, but I had some empty boxes standing ready.

‘Nothing in here is too important. It’s just clothes and - well junk mostly. A lot of this stuff should really go to the dump.’ He looked puzzled again. ‘It’s rubbish, I need to get rid of it’

‘Okay, you find what you don’t want, and I go down and pack books.’ he suggested. After an hour or so I had some boxes and bags to go to the dump, and went down to see what my helper was doing. He had emptied the bookcases and stacked the boxes by the door.

‘Do you want a drink?’ I asked ‘We could have tea or coffee and then load the car.’

‘Tea of course, I play at being English.’ he smiled, exaggerating the word in what he thought was an English accent. I laughed and we sat talking for a while as we drank, then loaded the car and drove off to the council dump. It wasn’t far, and thankfully not too busy – we drove straight in and started to unload the bags and boxes. The council was pretty hot on recycling, so I’d arranged things into separate bags – clothes, shoes, books, electronic gear, and stuff that was just rubbish. When we got back to the house I got Fabio to carry boxes down from the spare room, and again we loaded the car, this time to go to my new house.

‘I’ve asked another friend to do some gardening for me, he should be there now.’ I explained.

Before long we drew onto the drive, where I noted that my friend Martin’s car was already parked up and I heard the whirr of the lawn mower. I backed up close to the house so we could unload. Fabricio stared at the little white house with the pointed roof, the front half of the garden taken up by mature trees. Martin came across to the car, wiping his brow.

‘Lisa!’ he greeted me, and came up to embrace me. He looked askance at Fabio, but the two men shook hands amicably.

‘Martin – this is Fabio. He’s from Argentina, and he uh – he brought me pizza a couple of nights ago, and he’s offered to help me move.’ I hoped that was enough of an explanation for now – I knew that I’d be going into detail as soon as we were alone.

‘Pleased to meet you, Fabio.’ he said ‘It’s kind of you to help Lisa.’

‘She also has been kind.’ he smiled ‘We went for a walk yesterday’ Martin raised his eyebrows at me, his sideways glance telling me he thought I was mad. I went to unlock the door and showed Fabio where to put the boxes, and once he had started, Martin grabbed me and pulled me to a corner of the garden where we couldn’t be seen. He demanded an explanation and I gave him a quick summary.

‘Are you insane, Lisa?’ he hissed. ‘Never mind him taking your virtue, this man is a complete stranger. He could be a serial killer. I could be answering awkward questions in a police cell as your body sits in the morgue and he jets off back to Argentina.’

‘Don’t be so dramatic. He’s kind and sweet, and…’

‘And so good looking I’d fall for him myself if I wasn’t a red blooded one hundred percent heterosexual.’ He scolded, waving his arms. He took a deep breath ‘you can’t trust him. Lookers like that do what they like with people.’

‘Whatever happened to ‘he’s gay’?’ I asked. Martin grimaced.

‘He could have anyone he likes, he probably swings both ways. He’s probably got some STD. Drop him Lisa, drop him like a hot thing’

‘Gah, I knew I shouldn’t have asked you’ I grumbled ‘Go back to mowing the lawn, I’m helping Fabio.’ I started back toward the house.

‘What kind of name is Fabio?’ he gesticulated. ‘He’s trouble, Lisa, and don’t forget I said so.’

‘You’re jaded and cynical.’ I hissed. He looked sheepish.

‘I’m sorry Lisa, maybe I’m going over the top. I can see you’re determined to carry on with him. Just promise you’ll be careful’ he pleaded.

‘Careful is my middle name, that’s why I’m single.’ I snapped back. I could see Fabio taking another box into the house, and followed him. ‘I deserve a little excitement for once.’ I threw over my shoulder. But walking out in the Lakes and introducing Fabio to fish and chips wasn’t very exciting, I realised.

But Fabio was exciting, and it was the principle of the matter.

--------

Martin was called back home before Fabio had finished, and I walked through the house going over the pieces of furniture I wanted to keep and those I wanted moved back to the terraced house. I’d already cleared through the whole place throwing out unwanted junk and selling other pieces. I made a list as I went, and Fabio went outside to get some fresh air. I stopped in the downstairs bedroom, where I had found my mother only a few months ago. I found tears starting to my eyes, and I tried to blink them away as Fabio called from the kitchen as he came in again.

‘I can make tea.’ he shouted, but I couldn’t answer as my throat was tight and it was hard to breathe for the sob that threatened to bubble up. Suddenly he was in the doorway as I stood stock still staring at where the bed had been.

‘Do you want any…’ he started, and his voice faded as he caught sight of me. I made a superhuman effort to pull myself together, but failed spectacularly as my voice turned to an unintelligible squeak and the sob escaped at last. In an instant he was holding me against his broad chest, arms wrapped around me, gently pulling my head into his shoulder. I melted into him and let go, allowing the tears to flow. I had only cried once, at the funeral, and standing in her old room just brought it all back.

‘Shhh.’ he said soothingly. ‘It’s okay, it’s okay.’ He felt so solid – so safe.

‘I – I’m so – sorry.’ I blubbered. ‘This was her room. I found her…’ He rubbed my back soothingly.

‘Is okay to cry, you don’t have to be sorry.’

‘I thought I’d got over it.’ I sniffled after a while, when the tears and sobs had subsided.

‘It takes time. Perhaps we go back to the other house?’

‘I – I need to gather myself together.’ I said as he let me go to pick up a box of tissues that was on the windowsill. That almost made me start again, as it was the brand she used all the time, and had probably bought herself when I had taken her on her weekly shopping trips. I wondered how I would cope living in the house with so many memories. I blew my nose and mopped at my eyes. I laughed as he stood protectively watching me. ‘I must look a sight. Your shirt is wet - and slobbery, sorry.’ I held the box of tissues out to him.

‘It doesn’t matter.’ he reassured me, taking one and dabbing at his shirt. ‘Is sad that your mother died, but she wouldn’t want you to be unhappy’ I laughed again, blowing my nose.

‘She always said we should just have a big party when she’d gone.’

‘And did you?’

‘Just a little one, a sort of reception.’

‘Then perhaps you should have a party when you move in’ he smiled ‘We also had a big party when mi abuelo – my mother’s father passed away.’

‘That’s a nice idea. Did you mention tea? Perhaps I’ll feel better when I’ve had some.’ He took my hand and lead me to the kitchen so I could show him where everything was.

‘There’s a packet of biscuits in the cupboard.’ I pointed. He reached in and got out the chocolate biscuits. Tea made and biscuits on a plate, we took them outside where a table and two chairs were set up under the apple tree.

‘I’m beginning to wonder if I’ve made the right decision.’ I mused as I sipped my tea. He nodded and waited me for me to go on. ‘This is a bigger house, and I’m on my own. The other one is smaller, but it’s close to the shops and cheaper to run. I need a car to live here’

‘How long since your mother die?’ he asked.

‘Six months.’ I replied.

‘Is not very long.’ he said ‘you can…’ he paused and corrected himself ‘Can you change where you stay?’

‘At the moment, yes.’ I replied ‘I can live in either place. It’s a difficult decision.’ I looked around ‘This place would be better for a family.’

‘You don’t want to have children?’ he asked. I shrugged.

‘I’m single, it’s not the sort of decision I can make right now.’

‘If you could, would you?’ I smiled.

‘It would depend on my partner’ I replied ‘With the right one, yes.’ He smiled ruefully.

‘I am the only single one in my family.’ he said ‘Mi madre - always she say ‘when are you getting a girlfriend? When will you marry?’ He swirled the tea in his cup and gazed at it. ‘The right person – I never find her. I’m always travelling.’ His phone beeped and he took it out to look at it. ‘I need to get back and get ready for work. You are okay to take me? I can call a taxi.’

‘I’ll be fine to drive. Thankyou so much for helping – and I’m sorry I cried on you.’

‘Is okay, I’m glad I can help.’ He said gently. ‘And tomorrow?’ He asked.

‘I think I need some time to think things over, and I’ve moved most things now.’ His face dropped a little.

‘Okay, but you call me if you need – someone to talk to?’

‘Thankyou. I promise I’ll call you if I need anything.’

‘If you like, we can go out and eat.’ he said gently ‘I like to take you out, you don’t have to worry about what house to be in.’

‘That would be nice, thankyou.’ I got up and picked up the empty cups, taking them to wash up before I locked the house up.

‘Where will you stay tonight?’ he asked as we drove back into town.

‘The town house, I’ve still got Ginger to look after. It won’t be easy getting him used to his new home, though he’ll probably love the garden.’

‘He will be fine.’ he reassured me ‘Okay, you drop me at my flat please.’ We drove the rest of the short way in silence, and I felt a sense of loss as I parked on his street. He turned to me and looked me in the eye, his face full of concern.

‘Are you alright now? He asked, and I nodded ‘I hope you find out what to do. Remember, call me if you need. We can go out soon, yes?’ I nodded.

‘If I don’t call you tomorrow, I will the day after. Thankyou Fabio’ He leaned across and kissed me on the cheek again, but this time he drew back a little and looked searchingly into my eyes again. The hair on the back of my neck stood up.

‘I’d like to be more than a brother.’ he said quietly, brushing my cheek with the back of his hand. I managed a tiny nod and a weak smile, but couldn’t speak. He paused for a beat longer then got out of the car, leaving me to pull my wits about me and drive home.

[franklyshipping]

Mistakes Are So Wonderful ~ A Jacksepticeye Ego Fanfic

THIS IS ANOTHER WONDERFUL ANONYMOUS PROMPT I RECEIVED WHICH I AM EXTREMELY EXCITED TO WRITE SOOOOO LET'S DO THIS!!!

TAGGING: @marvinleemagician @marvin-lee-magician and @robbie-lee-zombie

Robbie knew everything was going to go to plan and go okay....but he was still nervous. He trusted Marvin lots and lots because he was his awesome magical sparkly brother! Marvin had the softest hair and could make flowers and fireworks from his fingers, so that definitely made him super trustworthy in Robbie's eyes....but ah....special spells like this made Robbie nervous. He knew Marvin would do everything right....but a spell to put someone in a lee mood with the zombie himself as the subject was nervy-inducing and flustery!

'Now, are you super duper sure that you're ready? You know that you can still back out whenever you want Robster.'

Marvin smiled fondly own at his little brother, who at the moment was sat cross-legged on the magician's bed with a little smile on his face. Marvin was nervous too. I mean, what if he got something wrong? The last thing he wanted was to upset Robbie or make him sad or uncomfortable; even though Robbie eagerly volunteered for this, Marvin still wanted to be sure. Robbie loved that, he loved how loving Marvin was! His smile widened, and the little zombie resolutely nodded.

'Robbie super duper ready!' Promise!'

Marvin let out a soft laugh....then nodded with a little intake of breath as he tied his hair into a top-knot and slipped his mask down over his face; he rubbed his fingertips together as he grinned.

'Very well.....here we go....'

Robbie gasped and kept as still as he could....and Marvin performed his incantation.

'Let this sweet soul feel warmth within,

As their lips threaten to twitch and grin.

There is only one thought their mind is conjuring,

That thought of course being...relentless tickling.

They feel the need in their nerves, in their fingers and in their breaths,

The need for tickling bubbling, in their tummy's depths.

It is time to cast away all things sad and crude,

It is time to embrace....that tickling mood!'

Marvin's voice got louder on the final line of his incantation, and Robbie let out a squeak when a cascade of lilac sparks rained down upon him. He squeezed his eyes shut, already feeling giddy at seeing what was going to happen next. Robbie was quiet...Marvin was quiet. Marvin nibbled his bottom lip, approaching Robbie tentatively.

'...uh....y-you okay? How do you feel?'

Robbie opened his eyes slowly, then looked over himself, giving himself a few little pats....but then he frowned. Nothing had happened, nothing had changed at all, and Robbie couldn't help but feel disheartened.

'....Robbie....normal...'

Marvin felt like his heart was going to break when he saw how sad Robbie was with the outcome...no....no he HAD to fix this! Marvin immediately cupped Robbie's cheeks, giving them a little rub as he smiled a whispered.

'Hey, I said this spell was going to work and I meant it! We're not done yet!'

Marvin's eyes were sparkling and bright with his optimism as he kissed Robbie's forehead, before he scrambled back to his notes and started muttering to himself. Of course, Robbie smiled at Marvin's optimism, it made him feel much better. He started to feel pretty fantastic actually. Robbie could feel warmth inside him building, along with a confidence and a happiness that made him start to feel excited. His fingers twitched as the zombie's eyes darted around the room....until....they ultimately landed on Marvin.

'What was my mistake darnit, it's gotta be here....'

As Marvin rifled through his notes, Robbie looked the magician up at down with an intense stare....and with his teeth almost bared. His fingers twitched more as he spotted Marvin's pale, smooth neck....it looked so soft and inviting. Plus, as Marvin reached for more notes from his shelves of disorganised incantations, Robbie thought he was going to drool when he saw Marvin's tummy exposed, just for a moment. Robbie couldn't stop himself. He stood up....and pounced.

'C'mon c'mooon, dammit I should have let Schneeple organise all my shi-AAHHH W-WOAH ROBBIE HEY!'

Marvin was cut off from the rest of his babbling when a sudden ''attack'' from a rambunctious little undead gent caught him off guard. Robbie had practically barrelled into him and made them both tumble to the floor, and Marvin was spluttering with giddy confusion as Robbie pinned Marvin's arms to his sides. Robbie giggled and growled.

'Gooootchaaaaa....'

Marvin giggled, since he just thought Robbie was being silly and playful. The magician rolled his eyes happily.

'Yeah alright fiiiine ya got me! What's my fate?'

Marvin sighed in feigned resignation, having absolutely no idea what he'd just let himself in for. Robbie grinned an excited, toothy grin, and leant into Marvin's neck as he growled.

'Robbie....tickle....'

Marvin froze....then the realisation of what had happened hit him like a ton of bricks, or rather like a ton of teeth nibbling at his neck. Marvin should have probably used the word ''ticklish'' a few times instead of ''tickling'' in that little incantation of his....because Robbie was far away from a lee mood....he was in quite the opposite mood in fact.

'Nononono-wahahahait nohoho s-s-stahahappit!'

Marvin squeaked and tossed his head about as he felt Robbie's sharp teeth nipping up and down the side of his neck, in a diabolically tickly fashion. Marvin struggled of course, but our sweet zombie had him very well pinned down. Said zombie giggled at Marvin's words, and growled more.

'Rooobbie gooonna tiiiickle!'

Marvin squeaked and yipped at every little nip and nibble as he flushed a bright pink....this was NOT how he imagined today going. He grunted amidst his giggles as he tried hard to free his wrists, but Robbie's grip was just too strong.

'P-Pleheheheeease! C-C'mohon I-Ihi thohought yohou wahanted to behe leheheheee!'

Marvin gazed up at Robbie with wide eyes, hoping that somehow he might be able to save himself....but alas, Robbie's heart was set with a plan. A tickly plan. Specifically a plan to tickle the heck out of his favourite magical person!

'Mmmm....but nooowww want tickle! Tickle Marvy because Marvy laughter peeeerfect....'

Robbie resolutely stated, whilst blowing cool air over Marvin's neck with a big smile in place; he was really loving this. Marvin only blushed redder at hearing Robbie talk like that about him, the littlest compliments literally stayed with him for days and days. Marvin tried to avert his gaze as he mumbled very quietly and meekly, feeling flustered beyond belief.

'Sh-shuhuuush....'

Robbie grinned and giggled, finding Marvin's bashfulness ever so cute. The zombie reared up and pinned the magician's wrists under his knees with ease, his magically induced mood spurring him to be strong and eager.....eager to hear more magical mirth.

'Awwww! Heeey! Marvy no quieeeet!'

With both his hands being free, Robbie started to put them to use with scratching up a storm at Marvin's bare tummy, which made the magician buck beautifully. The magician tugged and struggled in vain, his face screwing up amidst his cackles.

'NAHAHAHA OHOMYGAHAD NAHAHAT MY TUHUHUMMY!'

Robbie giggled fondly, his lilac eyes gleaming with joy as he leant down to add tickly kisses to Marvin's tummy amidst the scratchy treatment.

'Marvy has best tickly tummy! Best tumtum!'

The apples of Marvin's cheeks were now a truly solid crimson because he did NOT need to be told that he had a fricking tickly tummy thank you very much! Marvin desperately shook his head and cried out amidst flustered snorts.

'SHUHUHUT UHUHUP AHABOHOUT MY TUHUHUMMY!'

Robbie's innocent teasing on the whole was frankly unbearable for Marvin...but ah, that didn't mean Robbie was going to stop. The zombie in question smirked against Marvin's skin, nuzzles and scribbles being bestowed on Marvin's tummy as Robbie cooed. 

'Can't make Robbie! Tickly Marvy can't make Robbie shuuuush!'

Marvin's cackles got louder as he thrashed harder.

'YOHOHOU'RE MEHEHEEEAN!!'

Robbie giggled at Marvin's wails, adoring how ticklish Marvin was and how stunningly tender his ticklish tummy felt! It was so soft and fun to play with...which is of course all Robbie was doing with it, honestly Robbie didn't see why Marvin was making such a fuss over a little playtime!

'Marvy drama queeeeen!'

Marvin gasped and spluttered in the wake of Robbie's cheeky smile and words.

'AHAHAHAM NAHAHAT!!'

Robbie snickered, and had a little mercy since he knew Marvin needed to breathe....but he still retorted right back....maturely.

'Are toooo!'

Marvin pouted at that, his struggles being much weaker now as he focused his energies on recovery from the tummy onslaught. Marvin also looked up at Robbie pleadingly, hoping that the magic mishap was going to wear off sooner rather than later.

'Pleheeease n-noho more tickles....'

.....Marvin was so adorable. It was all Robbie could fathom. All he could focus on was how cute and gaspy Marvin was after that last bout of tickling, and on how pink and shivery Marvin's belly now was. Robbie adored Marvin's current state, and had no intention of finishing this so soon.

'But Marvy....tickles is fun, you like fun, don't you Marvy?'

Robbie's eyes twinkled amidst his purr, and with Robbie sporting a rather sly smile, Marvin found himself gulping and stuttering....Robbie was pretty intimidating.

'P-P-Please have m-mercy, y-you c-can tickle me t-tomorrow j-just please have mercy n-now....'

Bartering like this was Marvin's last hope....but alas, it was not to be. Robbie merely giggled, kissed Marvin's nose, and then proceeded to shake his head like a naughty kid.

'Robbie gonna tickle....and tickle....and tickle....'

Marvin whined and squirmed, the way Robbie speaking giving him flustered goose-bumps as the zombie playfully turned to face away from the magician. Robbie did a full 180, keeping Marvin's arms pinned with his legs as Robbie then lay on his front on Marvin's legs....so he could blow cool air over the tops of Marvin's feet. The reaction was instantaneous.

'R-ROBBIE NO D-DON'T YOU DARE DON'T YOU DARE GEHET ME THEHERE!' 

Marvin squeaked loudly as his struggling became renewed, his giggling already bubbling out as his hyper-sensitive feet twitched. They were so deathly ticklish and Marvin knew he couldn't handle the tickling that Robbie was going to give him! Robbie of course was excited to have this gold-mine of a tickle spot aaaall to himself, happily nuzzling the tops of Marvin's feet now as he traced the soles.

'Soooft tickly feeeet!'

Marvin gasped and squealed over Robbie's croon, descending into hysterical giggles as his feet wiggled and scrunched with true desperation.

'NAHAT MY FEHEET! IHIHI'LL DOHO AHANYTHING!!'

Marvin wasn't kidding either, he literally would have done almost anything....but ah Robbie, being the little tickle monster he was, merely giggled.

'Marvy can laugh!'

....fuck. Robbie was scratching at Marvin's soles now, and given that his nails were rather sharp, this instantly made Marvin transition from hysterical giggles to hysterical, high pitched, wide mouthed, wide eyed laughter.

'NAHAHAHAHA RAHAHAHAAAAB!!'

Full words and such were taking a short vacation from Marvin's repertoire it seems, which only made Robbie even happier as he peeked behind him to look upon his victim, as he let out more joyful, evil giggles. Robbie could practically feel all of Marvin's nerves reacting to his tickling, it was such a magnificent feeling!.

'Robbie likes tickly Marvy....Robbie might keep Marvy....'

Well if Marvin hadn't been blush central before then he certainly was now. Marvin's face and neck were completely red as the poor, teary-eyed, messy-haired magician thrashed and tugged at his poor feet....but nothing helped. All he could do was beg and beg.

'NOHOHOHO NOHO PLEHEASE PLEHEHEHEASE YOHOU CAHAHAHAAAN'T!!'

Robbie moved his scratching nails to the balls of Marvin's feet as he replied tauntingly.

'Robbie can Robbie caaaan!'

....Marvin actually thought he was going insane. He was now screaming with laughter as he felt scratch after scratch after scratch against the scrunched balls of his feet and he couldn't take it. His laughter was as loud as it had ever been, now interspersed with coughs too.

'PLEHEHEHAHAHA-AHAH!!!'

At this point, Robbie's eyes immediately widened with concern as he stopped the tickling and hurried to shuffle off of Marvin. Robbie knew many things, but one thing he knew specifically was that generally speaking, coughs were NOT good. Robbie gulped also when he saw Marvin hugging himself and gasping....what if he'd stopped too late?

'....R-Robbie s-sorry Robbie s-so so so sorry.....'

Robbie whispered, terrified that he'd done too much tickling and hurt Marvin in some way. He was happily surprised though when the magician carefully sat up, grinned at him, and softly cupped his face in his gloved hands. Marvin was nowhere near being any kind of hurt, and Marvin was intent on making sure that Robbie knew that.

'H-Hehey....hey Ihi'm okay, yohou may be an ehevil little tickle monster, but I AM Marvin the Magnificent! I can withstand anything!'

Robbie gasped with relief and immediately gave Marvin a tight hug, which Marvin eagerly reciprocated as the zombie mumbled happily into the magician's shoulder.

'Marvin the mostest magnificent magic man! Spell was so good, felt good!'

Marvin grinned bashfully, bowing his head a little as they both parted from the hug. Hearing that from Robbie really helped Marvin not to feel bad about his mistake, genuinely.

'Well I'm glad! Now, let's see if we can figure out a ticklee spell together, sound good?'

Robbie nodded excitedly, and then they got to work. After all, you can only get things truly right if you get things wrong a few times....plus....when you have those who you love, and who love you too.

HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED THIS FIC LEMME KNOW IF YA DID WOOOHOOOO LUV YOUS XX

[angelinwhy]

The Boy

Description: (Eroda! Harry) Edward was The Boy with the smile brighter than the sun, the shine of his grin deafening. But when being banished by the Erodians, Y/MN is the only one in the funny little town who shares his melancholy.

**mentions of suicide

It hadn’t always been like this.

A quaint little Isle called Eroda was home to a whole range of peculiar people, places, and superstitions. It used to be a place full of life, despite the old punch in the face when you mentioned a pig in a pub, or a lightning strike to your boat when you tried to leave on an odd numbered day.

The Boy had made it all changed. On a very early and warm morning, a baby boy was born and the people of Eroda were rejoiced, as a new addition to their quickly little place was always exciting. All the nurses had gathered around his crib, cooing and tickling his chubby little tummy. But, they were taken aback when he smiled, revealing a blinding smile as his little teeth shone brighter than the brightest star. The nurses had stared, as the glow wasn’t too harsh and they were able to look directly at him. Instead they just stared in wonder, gazing at the new Erodian who was more peculiar than the rest of them, despite the rest of the locals being as peculiar and odd. They had all wondered what was going to happen to the baby in front of them, and if his smile was always going to stay like this, or if it would all just fade away.

His smile stayed, and the shine on his teeth just kept on getting brighter and brighter, the more he grew. It was hard for him to make friends, when he was near the age where he was allowed to start going outside alone without any body to accompany him. His little red rain jacket was what he had wore when he went out for the first time, keeping his lips firmly drew as he didn’t want to frighten anyone off. Accidentally, he had smiled at a few people once or twice and had hurt their eyes, but he didn’t mean it. As he walked through the streets, he noticed two boys coming in his direction, so he had stopped them. Both of them knew who he was, but were confused as to when he started speaking, everything was fine. All three boys engaged in a conversation about the harbour, and then one of them cracked a joke. He smiled, and had nearly blinded the two poor lads. They then left him. Making friends was then out of the equation for him.

Growing into a man, he became more mature but went into his shell a lot more, as his wonderful smile had got even brighter. He had became very aware of himself smiling, but one day when walking through Eroda in a striped jumper - shorts to match - he had smiled at a woman with an umbrella, and she used it to cover herself with to avoid the glow of his teeth. But unfortunately, the glow was so radiant and harsh that he had sent the whole umbrella up in flames. The lady cursed him violently, and he just walked off with his head hung in shame. People stared. All they wanted to know was why he had been born that way, and if there was any way he could change it.

All he wanted was a friend, someone he could talk to and just smile at without having them curse and shade their eyes, or just leave him all together.

After the incident with the man on his bike (he had smiled at him, and the man had toppled off his bike and onto the group - there was a lot of horrible words said to The Boy), he had gone into hiding. His home in the outskirts of the town had become his forever safe haven, and most of the Erodians were very glad to find out that he wouldn’t be coming out of his house for a while. They didn’t hate him, everyone in Eroda was friends with each other, but The Boy was a little too dangerous for them. The Erodians feared that one day, he’d smile for too long, either blinding a child or sending something up into a frenzy of wild flames that would be completely uncontrollable. But what they didn’t know, was that every time they had yelled at The Boy, or shaded their eyes from him, the worse he had started to feel about everything.

And the other thing they didn’t realise, was that with every insult or yell they threw his way, his smile had started to glow less and less.

Cloud coverage came first, keeping the sun from shining on Eroda and all of its peculiar locals, which was strange for them because normally it was sunny all of the time. Then came the storms and all of the consistent rain, and dark skies. Erodians got used to taking their umbrellas out in the morning, having to use them against the heavy and torrential rain that felt like it was going to last forever, and forever it was going to last until things started changing. The Boy had lost his smile, completely. Their was no radiant glow when he bared his teeth at himself in the mirror as checked for the difference, and because his smile had disappeared, so had all of the happiness in the quirky little town. Because what the locals didn’t know was that The Boys smile, and the glow, was the thing that was keeping Eroda bright and happy.

They also had no clue, that The Boy had a name - Edward.

He had spent many days upon the highest peak in Eroda, just sitting by himself and watching the calm waves crash over the shore. Sometimes a fisherman would slip and fall, and he’d ponder on whether they were wearing their one gold earring for good luck. He wasn’t great with expressing his emotions, so in the silence and confinement of the rolling hills, he would scream into glass jars. It was the only way for him to be able to get his feelings out, and once Edward had screamed enough, he would screw the cap on and just stare at the empty glass, that he knew was filled with his pain screams. One day had got so bad, the poor thing had managed to fill twelve jars with pain.

Edward sits on his bed, that sinking feeling in his chest as he starred mindlessly at the wall in front of him. His bed was still much to small for him, almost like he was still a child who would smile up to his ceiling at night when he was unable to sleep, using the glow from his teeth to light up his small room.

He was going to miss this room when he was gone. It had character to it - the child sized bed that he didn’t want to change, as it felt a part of him, due to him spending so many nights in his room as he made up his own little world. The mirror in his bathroom where he spent hours upon hours staring at himself, as he wondered why his teeth glow in the way that they do. Not even some of the strangest people in Eroda had an explanation for his condition. His window which overlooked the harbour, and he spent many adays at it, staring out onto the water and laughing at ships as they got hit with lightning, as they had tried to leave Eroda on an odd numbered day. He guessed that a lot of them thought they could cheat the system. But most importantly, he would miss Eroda. Although he had never really felt like he fit in with everyone, it was his home, and saying goodbye to home is very hard.

With a final sigh, he takes the olden day, scuba helmet and places it over his head, and his sight is reduced to nothing but a small circle.

Going downstairs was difficult as his view had been slightly restricted, but once he was out of the front door, he felt the cold and ghastly breeze hit his body, which was clad in a dark blue suit. He thought that it was best to go out in his finest pieces of clothing. He marched down the street, knowing his destination, yet other people didn’t. It was good for him, as all of the people staring at him had no clue that it was him, he didn’t want to let them know either.

He leaves the main part of the harbour, leaving it all behind him and not turning back. Edward didn’t want his last sight to be all of the Erodians staring at him with confused faces, he had suffered enough of that throughout his lifetime, and he was fed up of it. He steps down on to the stairs leading down to a hidden beach he had stumbled upon one day, and he stops to take his helmet off. Without a care in the world, he lets it slip from his hand and it crashes to the hard rocks with a horrible clang. Then he feels all of the strong wind nipping at his neck, and running through his hair which had messily fallen down in his face. A dark blue, and wild sea was now before him, and it looked so inviting, like spine chillingly cold. He doesn’t think, and steps down onto the rocks.

Edward stops right before the waters edge, kneeling down to pick up a few rocks. He lets the wet and cold rocks lay in his hand for a few seconds, before then stuffing them into the pockets of his dress jacket. He then repeats the same action, bending down and grasping even more rocks, this time shoving them in the other pocket. Gathering up a few more, he stuffs them in to whatever pocket in his clothes he found.

“Save some rocks for the other sad people, eh?”

He was quick to launch back up to his feet, and he is shocked to see a girl standing in the water, the cold surrounding her right up to her waist. Edward was confused as he didn’t notice her as he was coming to the waters edge, so he could only guess that she had just appeared out of thin air. And it was like she knew what he was doing, although she was facing out on to the horizon as she wondered what was beyond it. Would their be another world? She doesn’t even turn to look at him, instead she just stands in the water.

Edward was confused as to why she was so calm to another person who seemed to be in the same place he was in, which was a bad one, and one he longed to escape. “The waters cold, but it’s nice. Just don’t bother me, I came here for peace.” She tells him in a slightly rude way, but he doesn’t even let it bother him, as he was used to people talking to him in a very bad way. He doesn’t bother getting anymore rocks.

With not a doubt in his mind, he walks towards the water and it fills up his shoes almost instantly. She was right, it was cold and it made Edward tense just a bit as he slowly walked in more, the water feeling like it was constructing every bone in his body like a snake strangling him. When it got to his waist, he had stopped and just stood there, and looked to the sky. All he could see was the dark cloud ahead, and he knew that there was another storm brewing, but it would never be much worse than the one behind his eyes, and inside his head. I have caused all of this to happen, and I must leave. Eroda needs to be happy again and it can’t do so without me gone. That voice screamed at him inside of his head as he lowered his hands into the water, feeling his fingertips freeze up, but he started to become numb to the horrible cold. He knew that soon, his whole body would be under.

“Why are you here?” She asks, the cold not bothering her as she just stood there, in complete tranquility and calmness. Edwards looks to her.

This was the first time anyone, apart from his family, had spoke to him in ages. He wondered if she knew who he was. “My smile disappeared, and so did all the happiness in this place,” he mutters, loud enough for her to hear him over the sound of the baltic water splashing around their numb bodies. She just hums at him, not really understand what he meant, but she didn’t really care all the same. “I’m just fed up. Want to be somewhere different, somewhere that isn’t this place, as much as I do love it here,” she explains, even though he didn’t ask what her reasoning was for being here, and doing what they were about about to go through with. He just nods his head and sighs.

It scares him, when a fish then flaps onto a rock that is next to him, and he stares at in disgust. Edward is common with the fish in Eroda, and like any fish, it can’t be out of water for too long otherwise it will die. He shuffled over slightly, the sudden movement had let the cold suffocate him again, but the grabs the gold fish and tosses it back into the water where it is supposed to be. But just before he can turn back to the water, it flops back on to the rock again. Edward wondered if the fish was the same as him, and that girl next to him who was staring down at her pretty reflection in the water, wondering who she would be and what she would look like, in her next life. All she wanted was to be somewhere that was peculiar like Eroda, yet completely different from this little Isle. It was something she had been dreaming of for ages.

“This fish…is doing the same as us,” Edward speaks as he watches it flop about on the rock.

The girl looks over to him, a slightly confused look on her face as she wonders what on Earth this man is talking about. She looks towards the rock and spots the fish, just moving about slightly like it was in some sort of discomfort. “What are you talking about?”

Edward demonstrates to her, by picking up the fish by its tail and tossing it back into its home, and she watches. A few seconds go by and the fish is back out of the water and back onto the rock that was in the middle of the pair. He does it ahain, just to prove his point that something strange was going on with this fish. “It’s just a fish, out of water. Not that big of a deal. Now - if you’ll please be quiet.” She hushed him and he sighs before grabbing the fish, throwing it to her side where it lands in front of her. She rolls her eyes, not bothering, but her eyes open slowly as she hears the fish flop back on to the rock. Edward could almost see the cogs whirring in her head as the girl starts to wonder the same thing. Why does this fish so desperately want to stay out of the water, and what is it’s reasons for doing so? Edward looks up to the sky for a second, taking in a very deep breath.

“Maybe it’s a sign.”

She looks to him, and then the fish, wondering why they were all here for the same reason.

It’s almost like some funny way of fate had brought them all here at the same time as a sign, to show that people aren’t alone in this world. Because after all, loneliness is an ocean full of travellers trying to find their place in the world, but without friendship we are all lost and left without no hope. And maybe that’s the reason, Edward and the girl had came here on the same day (with the fish too); they aren’t alone in their melancholy, as they’d come to understand.

[jae-daddy]

Holic (14) (M)

Jaebum AU

one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine /  ten / eleven / twelve / thirteen /  fifteen / sixteen / to be continued

pairing: im jaebum x reader genre: drama, romance, mature plot: your sister left the wedding, now it's up to Jaebum and you to make this marriage work. but, when everything seems fake and broken, can there be a happily ever after? a/n: this is slight smut. i was going update earlier but hit this while i was writing this last night, and i wasn’t sure if i should let’em fuck or nah. I have decided this and i am happy with it. sorry, i’ve started to write too much, but i hope y’all like it!

You stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing the little sleep that remained in your eyes.

You knew it wouldn’t be that difficult to knock on Jaebum’s door again. It wouldn’t cost much him to wrap his arms around you and lull you into another undisturbed dreamless sleep of peace, but it would cost you too much.

Your pride wouldn’t allow you to be dependent on someone for something as innate one’s sleep. Also, it didn’t help that you had been ignoring Jaebum since that night at the hospital.

It wasn’t that difficult to do, over the two hospitalised days work had piled over for you, and it was simple for you to drown yourself in it.

Every night you returned home, you pretended like Jaebum wasn’t there; that he and his lips weren’t on the other side of the door. Every night you woke up from another haunting dream and paused outside his door, you pretended like he wasn’t there.

You believed that if you said it enough it will finally be true. Jaebum’s rose lips, and taste of him would no longer be as addictive. His arms wouldn’t have the power to take you into the safest dreams. If you said it enough, Jaebum would no longer be taking over your life.

However, that was harder said than done.

Everything around you reminded you of Jaebum, and that kiss.

The softness of his lips as he pressed it against yours, kissing you softly. HIs warm hands gently caressing your body making you feel hot and calm at once. The feeling of his body against yours, his breath falling on you, and his arms holding your close as he ran his finger through your hair, sending you off to a peaceful sleep.

Whenever you think back to the look in his eyes when he leaned back to look at you, as your breath raced, crashing into each other; your heart would begin to fail you as your cheeks got rosy.

Im Jaebum was beginning to make you crazy without even physically being there. This was all either his fault for using his magic on you or it was your foolishness that mooned over every memory with Jaebum, making you believe in a pointless fairytale.

You opened the fridge, your reaching for the milk when a sound behind you made you shoot straight up and turn on your heels.

At that point, you wished it was burglar here to rob Jaebum. This house wasn’t yours, it was Jaebum and you were simply living here thanks to a marriage. So, technically, it wouldn’t have been you getting robbed.

Alas, it was a robber, it was the devil himself.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Jaebum affirmed, as he leaned against the counter. His arms folding in front of him, as his muscles strained through his dark suit.

The ticker inside you began, slow and steady, when you took him in.

Im Jaebum in a dark suit, with his forehead exposed, looked like a sin so late at night. With only the dim light of the hallway and fridge illuminating his sharp features, he looked even more gorgeous.

“I’ve not,” you replied, gulping, as you turned back to the fridge and returned the milk. You kept your voice steady, despite the jittering of your body, that seemed to become nervous in his heavenly presence.

You turned around to find Jaebum looming over you. His body so close to you, you could feel his heat seep through your nightdress.

You refused to look up and meet his eyes. Instead, you stared at his wide chest and felt your breath slow down when you noticed how dependable and sexy his shoulders make him look.

You wanted to rip his suit off and run your nails down his back, leaving traces of red-- You snapped yourself out of it before you could properly dive into it.  

“Damn, I forgot the milk,” you whispered, as you turned around to open the fridge, but before you could, Jaebum stopped you.

Your fingers froze on the metal handle, as his finger brushed your hair to the side. His fingertips grazing your skin, burning you with its scorching touch. His hot breath fell over the back of your neck, as he took a step closer.

You felt him lower, his breath hitting your hair lower and lower before its warmth rushed over your skin.

“Jaebum,” you breathed, turning around to face him before his lips could move any closer.

Jaebum’s hands found their way to your waist, resting on the curve of your hips as he stared into your eyes.

“How have you been sleeping?” He asked, teasing you slightly, but the concern was evident in his voice.

“Pretty well, actually,” you answered, your words strong, but the shakiness of your voice made the lazy smile on his lips lift higher.

“Oh, is that so?” He smiled, as you cheekily met his playful eyes. His gaze light, yet it carried such an intensity it unsettled you the same it always did.  

You nodded at him before nervously swallowing once you realised how close you two were.

“Why,” Jaebum’s low voice spoke, as his eyes traced your features. “haven’t you been coming to my room?”

When you didn’t answer, his hand rose up. It gently trailed along your bare arms, before his velvety touch caressed your bare neck. You watched as his eyes gaze darkened at your neck and licked his lips deliciously.

“Why are you avoiding me, y/n?” Jaebum asked, his eyes meeting yours again.  

“Isn’t it obvious?” You breathed in reply, your gaze dropped to the plumpness of his lips. “You scare me.”

“I thought I made you fearless?”Jaebum smirked at your words, before letting out a deep sigh and resting his forehead on yours.

“You make me feel a lot of things, Jaebum,” you breathed, quietly, holding his gaze as the smile dropped from your face.

“God, y/n,” his minty breath fell on your lips. “if only you knew all the things I want to do you.”

Your heart picked up its pace, painfully beating against your ribcage, as your tummy flipped and a jolt flicked your core.

“Why don’t you do it?” you smiled with mischief, as you peered up into his passion-filled darkening eyes.

“What’s stopping you?” You leaned in closer, hovering over his lips.

Something animalistic flashed over Jaebum’s face before he hungrily captured your lips with his. His lips moving feverishly against yours, his tongue darting inside, making you moan with pleasure.

Your arms were instantly locked behind his head, as a hand ran through his soft dark locks. You moved off the refrigerator, pressing your breasts up against him, as your chest expanded with the lack of oxygen.

Jaebum’s hands furiously travelled over your body. They were one your hips for a second drawing you in closer, then running up and down your back, before getting lost in your hair and caressing your cheeks. Finally, they settled on your thighs, as Jaebum moved away for a second.

“Jump,” his hoarse voice ordered and you obliged instantly, wrapping your legs around his hips.

You moaned as you pushed your core roughly against Jaebum’s hardening length.

You felt him step away from the freezer, and walk towards the counter. He placed you on the counter, the cold granite pressing against your exposed skin, as Jaebum settled between your thighs.

Your hands moved from his hair to underneath his jacket. Your fingers running along the bumps of muscle that had you haunted for the past two days, before you pushed the dark coat over his shoulder, letting it fall to the floor.

Your fingers fumbled with the buttons of his white shirt, undoing them, leaving his chest bare for you. You ran your nails down his toned torso, making Jaebum groan in return.

HIs lips moved from yours, trailing down to your neck in a feverish race of passion and consuming desire.

You threw your bed back, biting your lip to hold in a moan, as he sucked on your sweet spot.

“Jae,” you gasped, as his teeth lightly nipped at your skin.

HIs warm hands ran along your thighs, moving closer to your core. You felt your head spin as his fingers lightly brushed against your panties.

“You’re already so wet, y/n,” Jaebum chuckled, lustfully into your ear.

You flushed red with embarrassment but felt yourself get wetter as his words struck a cord in your core.

His hands travelled up your nightdress, his scorching touch dancing up your stomach before he grazed your bare breasts. His fingers lightly brushing your hardening nipples, his thumb rolling them gently, making you moan lowly.

Jaebum’s kissed the top of your breasts exposed by your nightdress, his hot lips moving up with each kiss; leaving a trail up your throat, before capturing your lips into another passionate kiss.

His tongue plunged into our mouth, massaging yours, making you moan into his mouth. Jaebum’s hands tightened on your body as another moan left your lips.

As Jaebum moved back down to attack your neck with painfully sweet kisses, your hand sank into his dark hair, while the other ran along his back underneath his shirt. You easily pushed it off his arms, your nails digging into his biceps as he nibbled on your sweet spot.

“Jaebum,” you gasped, your eyes closing involuntarily.

Jaebum’s hands gently ran over your body, your dress lifting up to your waist, scrunching on his forearms. Your panties touching Jaebum’s hot torso; as your bare breasts being caressed by him, drove you insane.

You moved back for a moment, regaining your sanity, as you gently pulled up Jaebum’s face to make him meet your sultry eyes.

You smiled wickedly when you saw the darkness in his eyes; the empowering lust and desire in them, making your head spin. You planted a lingering kiss on his lips, as you held him back, shooting him a smirk.

“Do you really plan on fucking me in the kitchen?” You asked him, quirking an eyebrow. The look on Jaebum’s face lightened up, telling you that he absolutely did not mind.

Truth be told, so didn’t you. However, you knew that Mr Kim and the kitchen staff may be a little disturbed.

“The kitchen staff will be coming back at five,” you told him, your voice low.

Jaebum captured your lips once more, his hands fisting your hair, the pull deliciously burning at your scalp.

“I’m going to fuck you until you’re begging me to stop, princess.” Jaebum stared into your eyes, his dark eyes hypnotising you as he pressed his forehead against you. His raggedy breath falling on yours, driving you crazy.

His words made you wetter as your throbbing core jolted, as his hips grinded painfully against you.

“I’m sorry, Jaebum,” you winked at him, your low voice, raspy, as you pushed him away, before walking to his room. “But I don’t beg.”

Jaebum closed the door as he entered after you, the definitive click of the door locking making your body shiver with excitement. You heard Jaebum’s step make their way towards you; slow and careful. You could hear his nervousness, and his heat getting more intense until he stood behind you.

You stared ahead, his king bed looking welcoming. You felt Jaebum take a step closer, his bare chest against your silk nightdress; the ghost of his skin teasing you.

Jaebum’s hands touched yours, gently moving up your arms; his fingertips rising a fiery trail of goosebumps in its wake. Your lungs expanded in your chest, as you leaned closer against him, while his fingers pushed your hair to the side.

He placed a soft kiss on the back of your neck; your eyes closing as you felt its heat rush to your core.

Jaebum’s lips moved forward, kissing the side of your neck, following the slope of your shoulder. HIs finger tangling itself with the thin strap of your nightdress, dropping it off your shoulder, allowing him more skin to cover with his soft lips.

Jaebum’s fervent breath fell against your skin, spreading over the smooth surface. It sweetly seeped into your veins, painting your body pink and hot, making your core throb harder in anticipation.

His fingertips lightly ran down your arm, while the other discarded the other strap off your shoulder; the pink silk falling down a few inches.

Your chest heaved, and your body began getting sweaty as Jaebum and your heat mixed into one. His body standing closer to you, his breath rushing down the side of your neck, as the dress slipped down another inch.

You didn’t stop the dress, neither did Jaebum.

You both held your breaths, your hearts racing faster as your minds became dizzy and hazy.

Jaebum’s hands gently landed on your shoulder blades; slowly, his fingertips travelled down your back. His skin following the dress that descended down your body, touching your incandescent skin, as it revealed itself bit by bit.

You bit your lip as the dress fell over the curve of your hips; Jaebum’s hands following, caressing your lower back. He didn’t move any further down. He remained on the arch off your back, his fingers burning you with its touch.

His hands flattened on your skin, before tracing around the bend of your waist. A hand remaining on the curve, while the other trailed up, stopping just below your breasts.

Jaebum’s tender touch fell down the middle of your stomach, his fingertips igniting a line of tingles and a fiery heat at the pit of your stomach. His fingers gently ran over your skin, until it grazed your bellybutton, before moving up again; torturously slow, his skin never leaving yours.

Jaebum pressed his chest against your bare back, making you press your knees together tightly. His ragged breath falling into your ear, before his teeth bit it lightly.

“What do you want to do, princess?” He asked, his feverish breath echoing on your scorching skin, painting it with lust and desire to match him.

You wanted to lean back against him until there was no space between you; skin pressed against skin. Until you become sweaty and sticky, but still continue to hold on to each other tightly.

You wanted to turn around and kiss the softness of his lips with the intensity of a thousand storms. You wanted him to feel pure lust and desire rage through his body as you wrapped your legs around him, and kissed every inch of his skin.

You wanted to make him beg for you. You wanted to make him your good boy, but you also wanted him to fuck you, like his little whore, until you had cum dripping down your legs, as your pussy clenched tight around him.

But you didn’t do it.

Instead, you leaned away from him. His searing touch leaving your skin, the sudden coldness making your body shiver.

You stepped out of the pile of pink silk on the floor, as you walked towards the king size bed. You swayed your hips painfully sexy, just to hear Jaebum groan, as his breath hitched.

You looked over your shoulder to see him standing there. His shirt off and left in the kitchen, his black pants hanging low on his hip. HIs chest heaving and glowing, deliciously, his hair a mess and hands clenched into fists by his side.

A smirk of pure wickedness fell on your lips, and Jaebum knew what was coming.

You reached for the blanket, lifting it up as you slowly turned around to face him. You saw Jaebum hold his breath, his darkening eyes lowering from your messy hair and beautiful face to your body.

Your breasts on display for him to see, and you saw his jaw lock as he saw your hardened buds. He knew you wanted this as much as him, but he also knew you loved being a teasing little bitch.

As soon as your eyes met Jaebum’s, the blanket covered your body as you slipped into his bed.

You took a deep breath, welcoming the calming charm of Jaebum’s smell fill your veins, making you relax. You smiled, feeling safe, comfortable and relieved knowing you’ll sleep well for the rest of the night.

However, your core continued to throb painfully, your hard nipples brushing against the soft sheets making you close your eyes tightly.

God, you wanted to run into Jaebum’s arms and have him fuck you till you couldn’t breathe. Yet, something was stopping you, something made you unsure.

Something told you, this wasn’t real.

There was nothing in between Jaebum and you except lust, and you couldn’t give into it. Not when you were married to Im Jaebum and had to see him for the rest of your life.

You couldn’t afford to play this game, without falling in too deep.

You felt Jaebum stand in front of you, and you smiled before cracking your eyes open.

Jaebum looked at you with a stern look of pure curiosity before failing to hold back a smirk of adoration. You snuggled his blankets all the way up to your ear, before peeking your face underneath.

“I’m sleepy, Jaebum,” you told him, pouting.

Jaebum rolled his eyes, the lazy smile returning on his lips, as he took the blanket and threw it over your head.

“Go to sleep then,” he told you, his voice light, despite the bulge he failed to hide. “I’ll join you in a minute, let me shower first.”

You hummed in reply, giving yourself over to sleep before you even knew it.

It seemed like a minute after, before you felt the bed dip behind you.

Jaebum pulled your close, his arms wrapping around your body. Your back pressed against him bare front, and you snuggled closer into his heat. Jaebum hid his face into your hair, breathing in the smell of your perfume and you.

He let out a sigh before he joined you into an enchanting land of dreams, where maybe you could be together.

Where you didn’t wake up before Jaebum, and let out a heavy sigh as you brushed the dark locks from his face. Where you studied his face, tracing every feature with your finger and not fearing for your heart when he pulls you in closer, as his lips brushed the top of your head.

There in the land of fantasy, you didn’t wait for two minutes to make sure Jaebum was asleep before you untangling yourself from him, and tiptoeing your way out of his room.

In that land, that you had wished for as a younger girl, you would’ve stayed in his arms till the sun forced you both out of bed. You would’ve woke up him with a kiss on his lips; then kiss him a million times throughout the day.

In that land where your heart wasn’t terrified, and your kingdom wasn’t burnt to ashes, you would’ve been able to live happily with Im Jaebum. You’d be able to make him laugh, and love; and most importantly, you’d be able to love Im Jaebum.

But this was reality, and reality is always worse than the fires of hell.

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[20yearstostart]

Sunday 19th August, 2018

Dear Blank, 

I don’t know what to say... I am not okay or maybe I am, but I’m not feeling enough so I’m not okay.  

I don’t even know how I’m feeling. 

I found a boy. 

He is my friends with benefit, and he is so sweet. He is the one who can shuffle cards, and he cuddles me and holds me, stroking my hair, and for those few minutes, I wish I could lay like that forever. It’s been so long since someone took care of me, it’s been so long since I felt someone’s body against mine, I feel so overwhelmed. 

I want to run away from it, and I want to hide in him at once. 

But he won’t let me run away, because he’s holding on to me tightly, but he won’t let me hide in him too. 

I don’t love him or like him romantically, but I feel like just by being with him I am dragging into a mess that he shouldn’t be in. He is just a fucking kid, and I’m telling him the deepest shit from my life... He is just a kid, he will be so upset once he finds out how truly fucked up I am. 

I am on call with him right now, because I am so stupid, and clumsy and can’t do everything right, and I messed up and sent him the wrong snap. And he screenshotted like he screenshots everything, and then became nosy, and was like hoe, whats this?

I tried avoiding it but it didn’t work, and now its 2:35am on a Monday, and I feel better. 

But the thing is, this is momentary. It will fade away, and I’ll go back to feeling like I’m trapped in a life that doesn’t belong to me. 

I’ll make this one about him, the handsome, intelligent and amazing kid. He told me not call him a kid, because he is just childish, but is more mature than me. I’m rolling my eyes, Blank, and I’m sure so are you. 

He is adorable, sweet and so so innocent. 

Also, I don’t think he realises when I call people kid, I’m actually making them a permanent part of my life. Almost like I’m letting them in, ya feel, Blank?

Sometimes I get so scared he’ll think that I’ve started to love him. The thing is I won’t and if I do, I’ll fall out of it in an instant before he could even realise it, because my brain will tell me how wonderful and beautiful he is, and how I’m nothing compared to that. 

He is so kind to me, and he kisses me. He holds my hand even though his potential girlfriends might see just because I like it. But I take my hand away because I don’t want people to know that something is happening between us. It makes him look bad. 

He snapped me a picture of myself, ordering coffee, and I was repulsed by it. I woke up the next morning, looked at it, and still felt like puking when I saw how much of the screen space I took. But he, he took that picture, tried my drink, kissed me and then made out with me in the park on a rainy afternoon. 

How could he do that?

Is he really that desperate?

But he is so attractive and tall. His laugh is cute as well, and his brain is super smart, and his funny. He can easily find a girl, but he sure does know how to pick’em. I’m not faking about Crim girl, Blank, she’s cool. I’m about quiz, and she pisses me off. 

He pretends to be all tough, mean and judgmental, but he is the softest little puddle of puppy cuteness you’ll ever find. And his adorable puppy dog eyes are just proof of that, but that goddamn girl. That girl is using him. 

But I got mad at him tonight, so he told her it was the last time he was “helping” her. Help? She was honeybaiting him into doing her quizzes, and he is stupid enough to do it in the name of friendship. 

The thing is I have friends, we are friends. But I don’t ask him to take a quiz for me, even when we have the same classes. No, instead, I would ask for his help and then work on it. 

He is a great friend though. He is always paitent, and listening. His words can sometimes seem harsh, but they are always made with the warmest of intentions, that make it smoothly sink down your throat sweetly. 

Also, he gives me his scarfs because: 1) I get cold, quicker than a freshly landed grandma from fiji. 2) I love the way he smells, so he gives it to me so I can sleep with it. 

The last time I went to his house, we fucked. 

It was amazing, he was amazing. 

He loves seeing my reactions when he fingers me, and I love sucking his dick lmao. I didn’t know I’d be a dick sucker, turns out I am. 

He is so perfect, its so hard not to fall in love with him, but it’s easy for me not to. 

I won’t ruin a good friendship and fuck buddy, because of the new shiny thing is momentarily blinding me from the reality of love never really existing. 

I mean, love does, just not for me. 

Blank, I sent an application to the counsellors; I am scared now. I am so afraid, I don’t know what to do. And I have exams coming up but omg, I don’t think I can do it. 

Fuck, Blank.

It’s almost as if I’m ruining my life, myself. 

Also, he says stuff that I need to hear. He makes me believe him, and I don’t like it. It will end in pain anyways, it’ll hurt less if this stopped now, but he won't let go. 

At least not yet, I am still shining and fresh out of the package. I still smell of plastic and factory chemicals, but once the smells disappear and my colours fade, he’ll leave. It’s just a matter of time; for him to leave, and for me to get myself ready. 

Btw, he is amazing, handsome, smart, tall, intelligent, can play the piano, is funny, makes the best fanfics, and has three hands Blank. He is truly wonderful and I hope he finds a girl just as amazing. 

THE SKY:

I haven’t seen much of the sky recently, but the last I remember was in his kitchen. He was washing the dishes, and I was cutting the ingredients because he wanted to make food together. I remember looking out and seeing a clear blue sky with the fluffiest whites clouds, and his face in front of it. 

His adorable sloping nose, and short eyelashes. He is truly beautiful, and when his dark brown eyes meet mine, it makes my tummy stop, and then he places his hands on my waist, pulls me closer and kisses me. 

It makes my tummy churn, and I ask him if he feels the same in his tummy. He says no, and I look out the window and realised it was a cloudy day after all. It was raining when I came over to his house. 

I am always the silly one. 

omfg, blank, i swear i do not like him. 

not edited

[lilacflamesss]

Shattered (Chapter 3.5)

Summary: Hinami tries to deal with her sorrows through seeking Ayato out. Ayato can never turn away the girl he loves far more than he should. Two people with unrequited feelings, dealing with them in very different ways. Human AU. (1.7k words)

Warning: This fic contains unhealthy copic mechanisms, heavy sexual content, and plenty of problematic/ dubious things which I absolutely do not condone at all. This is a work of fiction that takes on a more mature, physical take on Ayahina’s relationship as opposed to the typical conventional one. Please feel free not to read this fic if it’s not your cup of tea! 

A/N: I ended up writing this mini-scene to at least give some insights into Ayato’s head about the events that went on in chapter 3, though not too in-depth as well to maintain the intensity for subsequent chapters. Mainly it’s because I wanted to write a morning after where Ayato wakes up first HAHA.  Please do reblog this and feel free to leave some comments!

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 3.5 | Chapter 4

Preview: 

Another blatant lie, another terrible attempt at hiding it. He winces at the sound of his voice, turning away from her, using the need for sugar as an excuse to hide his expression. He’s not going to see his sister. He knows he won’t go at all and even if he makes an attempt to, he’ll only turn back midway. He can’t face her, not after acting like a huge ass kid, not after hurting her and definitely not after endangering her child. Honestly, what would he even do if something had happened to that kid-- his own niece or nephew-- and what if it affected Touka as well? He can try to continue being the biggest asshole around; he can try to convince the whole world he hates his sister more than anything. But there’s more to their relationship that just that. A mere fallout isn’t enough to erase every second they’re spent by each other’s side; a mere argument isn’t enough to make him forget what she’s done for him.

His stomach falls. Being an ungrateful piece of shit is one thing, but it is incomparable to actually hurting her and even though she seemed to have walked out unscathed, he wonders if that’s truly the case. How frighten must Touka have been when she’s falling? Her hands had immediately gone to her belly, her face had gone ashen white and she had totally stiffened. She was terrified, not for herself, but for her baby-- the poor, innocent foetus that’s barely even given a chance to live, yet was almost destroyed by someone of its own blood.

He wakes up smelling lavenders and strawberries, nose buried in a head smooth hair. He stays in that position for a while, basking in the scent and the comfort of being curled up against her, under the duvet during the cold winter morning. It’s been weeks since he’s been able to hold her like that and while rare due to him always waking up after her, he’s woken up to her curled up against him more times than he can count already. Sometimes it feels like she has practically moved in. But even if this is the case, it always feels so surreal that the first thing he sees in the morning is her and that the first thing he’s made aware of when he wakes up is the fact that they’re pressed against each other, limbs tangled and holding each other tight. It’s a dream come true for him-- a fantasy which he wishes will never come to an end.

Hinami is burning up beside him. Ayato feels the heat radiating off her skin from the hand he has pressed against her tummy under the shirt she’s wearing. Clearly, they made a dumb choice the previous day. He feels like hitting his own head. Why did he think a dirty alley in the middle of winter was even a good idea?

Even though he’s slept over it, the gnawing in his abdomen has yet to fade and it continues eating him from within. He longs to just forget the previous day, but Hinami will start nagging at him if he starts to chug down the remaining beer he has in his refrigerator or if he even dares to pull out the pack of cigarettes he has in the drawer by his bedside. She’s so naggy. She reminds him of his sister in the past, always forcing him to continuously do something about the mess his room is in or his terrible eating habits. It’s a pain but it’s a kind of pain he craves and loves to experience even more.

His head spins as he recalls the sister whom he once followed behind like a puppy would after its owner-- the same sister he had yelled at and hurt, almost killing the child growing within her. It brings a bitter taste to his mouth.

He had forgotten she’s pregnant; he didn’t realise she is; he hadn’t pushed her that hard, she’s just weak. His mind scrambles to form justifications, to defend himself from the guilt that’s threatening to wear down on him. But every justification is as good as a styrofoam board, the logical condemnations he has of himself smashing through it like a martial artist’s fist. The fact remains that he made a mistake, an utterly terrible one, and he can’t do anything about it.

Hinami coughs and Ayato gets up, leaning over her to feel her forehead. She’s seriously burning up, not too much to the point he has to worry, but enough for him to know that she’ll really fall ill if they ignore it. She’s still asleep, so he decides to continue letting her rest. But he gets out of bed anyway, adjusting the comforter to cover her body properly before he heads to the kitchen. He’s sure he has some tea somewhere and he’s read somewhere that tea helps with soothing the body down.

He finds the tea bags pretty fast, but water still needs to be boiled. Ayato makes a quick work of filling a kettle with water and heating it up, but he leaves it to boil by itself as he starts to fill a small basin with water. He brings it back to his room, places it on the side-table and searches his closet for a piece of cloth. The best he managed to get is an old bandanna, and he decides to make do with that. His movements seemed to have woken Hinami and she rolls over to lie on her back. She opens her eyes, looking at him in confusion.

“Ayato?” She had sounded a little different the previous night, but her voice is completely weaker and more strained right now. She tries to sit up completely, but Ayato’s at her side in a matter of seconds, pushing her to lie back down.

“How do you feel?”

“Pretty bad,” she admits. “My body hurts.”

He feels partly responsible. No, he feels totally responsible. It’s because he was acting like an idiot that she fell sick. Of course there’s going to be some kind of bug or virus in that disgusting alley-- what did he expect when he was pushing her down onto the filthy floor? He dips the bandanna into the basin of water, before wringing it a little. After folding it slightly, he dabs it on Hinami’s forehead and cheeks.

“This should help you feel better. I’m making some tea as well,” he says. She smiles while she looks at him, watching him as he rises the cloth before pressing it against her.

“Thank you, Ayato. It does make me feel a little fresher.” She attempts to sit up, but he pushes her down again.

“Just stay in bed and rest. I’ll get you some tea when it’s ready.”

“You don’t have to do this. I don’t want to be a bother.”

“You’re not a bother… I do enjoy taking care of you.” That’s not a lie, honestly. When he does that, it feels like he’s closer to her in a very different way from when they’re having sex or cuddling up in bed. But he also admits that there’s a lot more to this than just that. The guilt for forcing her down in such an environment probably has more to do with it but there’s no way he’s going to tell her that.

Hinami coughs again, bringing her hand up to her mouth. Ayato’s vaguely aware of the whistling of the kettle from the kitchen and he knows he has to turn to it. He dips the cloth in water again, squeezes it, though he leaves it much damper than it was earlier on, before he places it on Hinami’s head. Hinami is looking up at him in confusion but he simply offers her a smile before turning to leave the room to walk into the kitchen.

He’s pouring water into the mugs when he hears footsteps and he’s about to turn to her to nag her into returning back to bed when she winds her arm around his waist and presses her body against him, peeking at what he’s doing.

“What did I do to get treated like a princess?” she murmurs, nuzzling her face against his chest. He swears he feels a brief peck.

“You’re sick. You need to be in bed.” She sniffs as he speaks, as if to prove his point, but before he can really say anything else, she’s lightly rubbing her hands against his bare skin, distracting him for a moment. 

“I’m fine,” she says.

“Yeah… but maybe it’s better to stay away from dirty alleys. Definitely not a good idea to fuck there in the middle of winter,” he admits.

“Are you trying to say you hadn’t known it’ll be a bad idea?”

He did, but not for this reason. “You learn something new everyday.”

“You’re so stupid,” she complains, slapping him lightly. He pushes one of the mugs towards her and Hinami detaches herself from him to pick it up.

“There’s a reason why you’re the one who’s on a scholarship while I’m here struggling with my GPA,” he sighs.

“Your GPA will be a lot better if you stop spending all your money on beers and cigarettes and ending up having to take up extra shifts to make up for that…” Hinami grumbles, taking a sip of her drink. “Enough about that… Ayato, are you feeling better?”

“Me?”

“Yeah… because you know… about yesterday. I wonder if you’re feeling better now.”

His first instinct is to deny it and be honest, but he smiles at her instead. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Hinami stares at him, brows furrowing at his words. Ayato has always prided himself on his ability to keep what he truly feels at bay and lie easily to deceive others, but even he has to admit that he sounded like a croaking toad when he answered her. He shrugs, took a big gulp from his own mug and grimaces at the bitterness.

“Are you gonna see your sister?”

“Yeah, one day.”

Another blatant lie, another terrible attempt at hiding it. He winces at the sound of his voice, turning away from her, using the need for sugar as an excuse to hide his expression. He’s not going to see his sister. He knows he won’t go at all and even if he makes an attempt to, he’ll only turn back midway. He can’t face her, not after acting like a huge ass kid, not after hurting her and definitely not after endangering her child. Honestly, what would he even do if something had happened to that kid-- his own niece or nephew-- and what if it affected Touka as well? He can try to continue being the biggest asshole around; he can try to convince the whole world he hates his sister more than anything. But there’s more to their relationship that just that. A mere fallout isn’t enough to erase every second they’re spent by each other’s side; a mere argument isn’t enough to make him forget what she’s done for him.

His stomach falls. Being an ungrateful piece of shit is one thing, but it is incomparable to actually hurting her and even though she seemed to have walked out unscathed, he wonders if that’s truly the case. How frighten must Touka have been when she’s falling? Her hands had immediately gone to her belly, her face had gone ashen white and she had totally stiffened. She was terrified, not for herself, but for her baby-- the poor, innocent foetus that’s barely even given a chance to live, yet was almost destroyed by someone of its own blood.

Ayato doubts he’s able to stomach any more tea and he’s flushing everything down the sink before he realises what he’s doing or that Hinami is watching everything.

“Ayato? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he murmurs. “I guess I’m not that big of a tea person.”

He turns to her and smiles, just like he always does with her. Hinami seems concerned, but she also seems really conflicted about it, tiptoeing on whether to push the issue further or not. He doesn’t want her to bother to much about it, definitely doesn’t want her to bother too much about him, so all he can really do is keep her mind off it. He walks over to her and wraps his arms around her waist, gently pulling her closer so that she doesn’t end up spilling the tea.

“I’m going to take a shower… Wanna join me?”

It’ll cool her fever down at least.

A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this! Once again, please please do reblog if you like this! It’ll really help me out. Feel free to leave comments in the tags/ reblogs/ replies or through asks!

It’s exam period now and I’m going on a vacation immediately after that, so Chapter 4 might take awhile! I’m sorry for that. I hope you guys enjoyed this! I debated whether to include that last line, but I decided I might as well give you guys some spoilers for the next few chapters that’s not Touken and sub Ayato :) I’m gonna sleep now, so good night everyone! 

[amnachil]

The High School Game Part 16

Hi :D ! Here’s the next part of the story. I estimated 6 more parts after this one, and we should reach the end... I know, there still work to do :x But we’re going closer each time (obviously we are :x)

Liam DAY 118 Monday

"I'm getting fat. I'm sure you dislike me now."

Liam blushed. Jessy was depressing, because her check-up revealed she had gained 2 kg (4,4 pounds), reaching 65 kg (143 pounds). Stunned by this change, she was close to cry. The goalkeeper cuddled her softly.

"You're not fat, not at all my love. You're as beautiful as ever."

"You're saying this only to please me."

"No. I think you're cuter than ever, and I really, really like you. Trust me."

She sniffed and nodded. Please, you're starting to look cute. Don't give up now. He knew that one day, he would have to talk with her about his fetish. But not now. She was not fat. Not even a little.

"Well, I love you too, Liam. You're the nicest boy I ever met."

"Thanks Jess'."

She stood up and smiled.

"I'll let you know, I have to join Barbara for our presentation about passive hunger in America."

He blushed. This is ironic. She left him, and he stayed here, onto the bench, alone. Slowly, he put a hand on his tummy. He felt a little pudginess. Passive eating. Okay, Liam tried to fatten his girlfriend, but by the look of it, he fattened himself more than her. According to his own check-up, he gained 2 kg too, and it was not muscle. However, the nurse maintened it was perfectly normal. By the way, his stomach was flat. No abs, but not fat either. Just soft, enjoyable to rub. He was far away Sam's bulging potbelly. And anyway, Liam did not found Sam really fat. A little, at most. I have nothing to be worried about. And I need to concentrate on Jessy. Now he understood Kim was, despite having an handsome body, a pest, he had to focus on his girlfriend. (Yes, he fantasised about Kim, but the boys were always fantasised about several girls at once). Anyway, the bell rang, and he left the nurse's office to join the class.

This afternoon, during the break, Liam was pleasantly eating somes candies (yes, he knew he gained weight, but his willpower to control his gluttony was non-existent) when Sam and Shirley came to him. They broached him with rigor, like if they had an emergency.

"Liam, we need your help." started Shirley.

"At least your advice." added Sam.

The goalkeeper gulped his last candy and frowned, kinda surprised by this agitation.

"You know we're trying to fatten Gregory since the christmas holiday ?" asked Shirley. "Well, we failed."

What ? The supporting striker was eating like three men since Sam started to fatten him. He was constantly snacking donuts and drinking protein shake. Plus, he was taking two meals for lunch daily. How could he not gain weight ?

"He is doing too much exercise." explained Sam. "His metabolism is fast, and he know that. He only gained 1 kg this month, and there is barely a little pudge on his belly."

Liam blushed. (Pudge and bulge were the new words he could not faced, because he had some issues with several words like these). (Okay, for example, Liam always feared the word "explosion" but no detail). Anyway, he understood his friends matter, but why would he be helpful ?

"We know Gregory is training with Raphaël's brother. We though maybe if they stopped this workout, he would start to gain weight."

Thomas. They were thinking about Thomas. The goalkeeper blushed again. (No, Thomas is not a forbidden word, but his captain's little brother was a bit special).

"Can you give us some information about him ? Despite being Raphaël's ex-right arm, I never met him." asked Sam. “But you did, cuz you know their family for a while now.”

"Well... I can do better. I can ask him to stop train Gregory."

Shirley raised an eyebrow, skeptical.

"How would you do that ?"

"This is a secret. But Thomas is quite... special. He'll listen to me, no worries."

"Okay, we'll trust you so." agreed Sam.

Liam nodded. The idea excited his super-spy spirit. (Who never dreamed to be a super-spy ?). However, he knew this attitude was not in Raphaël's book of rules. (Liam was practically sure his friend was hiding a book with the rules of his game under his bed). I guess a little lie would not hurt... If he doesn't know, he will not try to exterminate me and my whole family. No kidding, his captain was likely able to do that. But Liam's 10 years old maturity loved risk. So, let's do this...

Shirley DAY 119 Thuesday

She gently fondled her boyfriend's belly. She was so excited. According to the monthly check-up, he gained 3 kg (6 pounds), which was not much, but good enough. The nurse started to worry about his case, and insited to talk about nutrition and exercise, but Shirley, as him, did not care. Sam was enjoying his new body. And she was enjoying it too.The tummy, round and soft, was the most of the fat. But she loved his ass and thights too, growing slowly. And what about this two man-boobs burgeonning ! It was so cute. They were walking towards Ms. Liliano's bakery, in order to brought some addictive donuts. And everything seemed perfect. She still had problems with her brother Dan, who had disappeared. She still had problems with Raphaël, Finn, Barbara (who watched her like a mother) and obviously Gregory. But she felt happy. At least until she heard a holler of pain coming from a dead-end. Sam glanced at her, and then headed towars the noise. She followed prudently, quite afraid. But she did not expected what she saw. Kim and Jessy were here, beating Kilian while laughing.

"Do you want more ?" asked spitefully Liam's girlfriend. "Are you still thinking you can stare at me and my love while we're doing private things now ?"

She kicked him in the ass, which led to a series of kick by Kim, who insulted him. Sam interfered in, and yelled :

"Are you fuckin' mad ?! Clear off !"

Jessy hesitated, but not Kim. She laughed and throw a stone which ended up on Kilian forehead. The boy shouted, and Shirley rushed towards him.

"I said : get the fuck out of here !" yelled Sam.

"Don't be mad." retorted Kim. "He got what he deserved. He is a fuckin' dick-lover, you know ?"

"And you're a fucking bitch ! You both are !" shouted Shirley, enraged. "Just leave us ! You will pay for this !"

She checked Kilian's body. He was hurt and bled a bit, but nothing too serious.

"What are you gonna do, princess ?" asked Kim.

At this moment, Shirley realised Jessy was gone. She fled away, like the cowards she always was.

"We'll warn the director." assured Sam. "And if you don't leave, I'll smash your face in, get it ?"

He was largely taller than her (she was 164 cm, or 5′5″) and bigger (she weighed 72 kg or 159 pounds) so she stepped back.

"I'm leaving. But I think you'll not tell anyone what happened, you know ? Because if you did, I will tell everybody Shirley did this. And because she is quite... violent, I'm rather convinced everybody will trust me."

And then, she fled while laughing.

For the second time in less than one week, she was in front of the De Beauchêne's door. And she felt even more scared than the last time. Kilian asked for her to bring him home without Sam, because his father and brothers would not accept another boy. So here she was, knocking and praying for meet Kilian's mother instead of his scaring father. Sadly, he opened the door. He was maybe taller than the previous time, and probably more impressive. Is that even possible ? He worn a fuckin apron covered with blood, and Shirley almost feinted when she glimpsed it.

"What happened to you ?" asked Mr. De Beauchêne with his booming voice.

"Nothing, dad. Nothing." replied soflty Kilian.

He was so tiny and skinny in comparison she thought his father would crush him with a cuddle. However, this one did not move. He just repeated :

"What happened to you ?"

"Dad please. Nothing I told ya."

"He had been bullied, like everyday." replied Shirley.

She did not know where she found enough guts to speak, but she did. The look Kilian gave her made her regret. Maybe his father would kill Kim and Jessy, now.

"I don't care about this." retorted Mr. De Beauchêne. "I wonder why you're bringing this girl at home, son."

"For nothing father... please, let her go."

Shirley felt in jeopardy. Kilian was scared, and she did not know what his father, this giant covered with blood, was able to do. She prudently stepped back and smiled.

"I think I'll let you. Mr. De Beauchêne, good bye."

He watched her walking away, and she felt safe only when she turned behind a wall, escaping from his eyes.

Gregory DAY 120 Wednesday

According to his regular doctor, he had got sick because of Kim's mixture, and it probably explained the fact he gained only 1 kg of muscle (2.2 pounds). Consequently, the young lad had reproached his friend for his bad result during the check-up. However, she just laughed, and told him that he also could return to his cockcroach's life. My fuckin' cockcroah's life, she said. He decided this whore deserved to paid. Like Jessy, Barbara, Shirley and Raphaël, he would find a plan for her, and humiliate her. But he had a problem. Kim was not afraid by an humiliation. She humiliated herself in order to ridicule the others. Make her pay in those circumstances was pretty hard. I need an idea. A good idea... Sat on a bench, thinking, Gregory watched his schoolmate, living their uninteresting lives in the schoolyard. This flock was his flock, and he probably could find an idea. What could be her weakness ? She doesn't care about her reputation, and she's not scared by the director. What can I do ? Suddenly, he had an brain-wave. Something Kim certainly wanted, like everybody else. Love. She was surely searching the love of her life. They all were. Maybe, maybe he could trap her. If she loves someone, and this guy just humiliate her in public... She would be ashamed...

"Hi Gregory." whispered a soft voice.

Surprised, he raised his head, and came across Shirley. This bitch. What the fuck she wants ? He did not answer. She was not welcome.

"I need your help." she continued. "Regarding Kim Sawyer, the new girl."

He frowned. Why I would help you when you're my worst ennemy ?

"We both know she is quite dangerous." Shirley argued. "And she don't care about Raphaël's game, she only will destroy everything she hates, including me and you."

"Why do you think she hates me ?"

"Keep your friends close, and your ennemies even closer, Greg. Our sweet captain was reading this, one morning. Kim hates everyone, but she knew you were more dangerous than we're. She needed your help to harm us. We need to react."

"Why now ?" he asked prudently.

"Because I understood how dangerous she was. Kim is not afraid of anything. Deep down, you know we have to make a pact in order to respond as fast as possible."

Well... I guess you're right... He already knew how to humiliate Kim and put her out of the game. But some help would be usefull, after all. He nodded.

"I've an idea." he explained. "To my opinion, she have only one weakness : love. She certainly love someone, and if this person reject her... she would be devastated and left the game for good."

"Wow... You're definitely good for evil plans. But how can we found her fantasy ? Usually, people demonstrate affection for the subject of their desires. Or hates, sometimes."

What ? Gregory opened his eyes wide. Hates.

"Well, good you asked for my help, because it will be useful to be two for this." he mysteriously whispered.

Because he knew who Kim loved since the her arrival.

Together, the two ennemies headed towards their target. Because it was just before gym class, he was warming up near to the terraces, in his sport outfit. Fortunately, he was alone : Liam and their friends were having fun in the snow a bit furhter. Gregory decided to talk first :

"Hey Raphaël. How are ya ?"

The captain glanced at him, then Shirley. Surprised ? Well, if it was surprised, he did not show it. His face stayed as emotionless as ever. On top of that, he did not answer, waiting for them to speak.

"We need your help." proclaimed Shirley. "I know, it's kinda weird because I kicked you in the balls and Gregory is trying to take your place, but, still, we need your help."

The fuck is she saying ? The dark-haired boy never told his captain about his ambition. However, Raphaël was not an idiot, and he probably already knew that. Focus on Kim... Shirley will pay later. By the way, the captain again did not answer. He was conscientiously warming up his legs, one after another.

"As you probably noticed, Kim is dangerous." said Gregory. "We both, Shirley and I, want to put her out of your game, in order to protect our schoolmates. But we need you to do this."

Raphaël glanced at him and smiled. A cold, frightening smile.

"Correction : in order to protect yourselves against Kim. And by the way, you can't put someone out of the game."

He stoop up and continued :

"You both are playing this game without the rules, and you think you're leading this while you only are part of this. At best, you can change Kim's attitude concerning the game, but that's all."

We don't care. Gregory hated this hautghty tone. He perfectly understood the game and the aim : get the power. The rules were simples : do anything you can in order to succeed.

"Are you going to help, or not ?" asked Shirley.

"Of course I'll." stated the captain, surprising both his conversation partner. "However, I remind you this will not be without consequences. Kim neutralised, the balance will incline towards another opponent."

"We don't care." retorted Gregory. "Let me explain to you our plan and..."

"I already know what you're planning." interrupted Raphaël. “But that’s stupid. We’re not all seeking for love.”

He headed towards Mr. Litman and smiled.

"Don't worry guys, I will deal with this."

Liam DAY 120 Thursday

The lad gulped before entering his his captain's home. He was afraid. (Boys don't admit their fears, but Liam do. He was afraid of being in the den of the mutant, yes). He had already come here before, but he was still scared to not getting out. Raphaël smiled.

"You know where is the kitchen. Help yourself, I'm just going for a shower and we can do this history presentation."

Liam nodded. He entered the kitchen, where Thomas was joyfully preparing his diner. In this home, both children were cooking for themselves, and their only parent either. Consequently, the two brothers always followed a strict diet, free to chose what to eat, while their mother devoured junkfood all day long. Liam smiled to Thomas. The 10th grade student was quite handsome. Shorther than his brother, he was 175 cm (5′9″), and weighted probably something like 67 kg (148 pounds). And, despite not being gay, Liam though he was handsome. (Like Raphaël, those mutants were two Adonis). Ginger with green eyes, he had a mystic beauty, his whole body just perfectly built. When he saw Liam, he smiled. A cheerfully smile, shining.

"Hi dude. How are you ?"

"Fine, thanks. Preparing the diner for after your workout routine with Gregory ?"

"Yeah. Do you wanna somethin' ?"

Liam nodded, and the young boy gave him a box full of pancake plus some nutella. Hum... (Nutella plus pancake was a mortal combination for Liam stomach : he always ate too much of it). (And by the way, it was weird to know Raphaël and Thomas had pancakes and nutella and never ate it).

"Thanks you so much." said the goalkeeper while he took one first mouthful.

Thomas had a contagious smile. Unlike his brother, he had a warm voice, soft.

"Gregory's probably waiting for me." stated the 10th grade student. "But if you need anything before Liam, I can stay."

"Yeah, I have a favor to ask you, indeed."

Liam swallowed another pancake and spread the next one. Thomas sat on a chair, and smiled again. Since the goalkeeper had become friend with Raphaël, he also had become friend with his brother. He's sweet and so cute. (Okay, this was one reason explaining why Liam blushed when thinking about Thomas. Despite being not gay, he was aroused by the young boy tone and attitude, and it was awkward). Calm down Liam, you're here for Sam and Shirley.

"Everything you want, Liam, you know I like you. You're a good boy"

It was even more awkward, but not surprising. Thomas had a penchant to consider everyone like his pets. At least while he was speaking. Anyway, his warm voice encouraged Liam to be at ease with everything (like devouring pancake after pancake with nutella).

"Well, it's about Gregory." he whispered, with his mouth full. "And it a bit weird, but... I would like to see him gain some weight, but he can't with all this training."

The 10th grade smiled.

"Are you planning to fatten him ? You know this is against the rules ?"

"Uh, maybe..."

"Don't worry, I'm not Raphaël. I kinda like this idea, Gregory being a douchebag who think he can replace my bro. I already have an idea... But big bro will not like this."

In this world, Thomas was probably the only one to fully understand Raphaël's game and rules. However, he never expressed interest for this stuff. He lived his own life, peacefully, enlightenning his schoolmate with his perfection.

"Anyway, I will deal with him." he eventually stated. "Are you taking this last pancake ?"

To be continued

Shirley and Gregory started an alliance... Let’s see where it will lead them ! However, the girl priority should obviously be Kilian... As for Liam, let’s hope he’ll stay in his magical world a little longer :D

[oopscupcake]

Promise - Part two

Hi everyone! This is a part two to my last fic “Promise”, requested by @haroldsbaby94. If you haven’t read it already I invite you to have a look at it here.

I really enjoyed writing this one, hope you enjoy it as well :)

Jess sat cross-legged in the windowsill of her childhood bedroom, her head leaned against the cold surface of the glass. She admired how from the distance the sky began to be invaded by the first reddish flashes of light which marked the beginning of a new day. She closed her eyes at the sound of the early birds’ chirps, enjoying the melody. It felt as if the ethereal symphony had been designed just for her, for him, for the most important day of their lives.

She couldn’t believe in a matter of hours she’d be walking down the aisle to her best friend, to the love of her life, to Harry.

Moments like those were the ones which made her realise how blessed she was. If she thinks about it now, there were very little probabilities that Harry would come back from the nightmare he was in; still, his will was so big that he managed to go through every single one of the cruel struggles that implied just to get home, to fulfill his promise.

Her eyes still filled of tears when she remembered that miserable time: the worry she always woke up to; the way the house didn't feel like home anymore; the fear that settled in her system whenever the doorbell rang, thinking it could be anyone to tell the worst of the news.

She wiped off some of the ones which had began to stream down her eyes, shaking her head to take the thoughts away.

The nightmare had ended and now she only had to focus on the future that awaited her by his side.

The buzz of her phone brought her back to reality. When she walked to the nightstand where it rested, a smile drew on her face as she spotted Harry’s name in the screen along with a text:

‘Morning baby girl.

I know it’s still very early for you to be awake but I haven’t slept at all and I couldn’t resist anymore the urge I had to talk to you. I’ve been up all night picturing the moment when we’ll finally be face to face, hands locked, about to say those two words which will make us one…’  

Jess concluded his text by typing what was left. Just as she pressed the send button, another message popped out, both of them saying ‘I do.’ A smile drew on the boy’s face when he saw her immediate reply, figuring she had spent the night as sleepless as him. Without any hesitation he dialed her number, waiting impatiently to hear her voice “Hazz! we’re supposed not to talk before the wedding, remember?” “Love, to be honest I don’t care. I couldn’t sleep a thing and that’s because cuddling with a pillow doesn't feel as good as cuddling with you” Jess felt a butterfly revolution take place in her tummy as the words spilled out of the boy’s mouth. After so many years with him he was still able to bring back sensations like those. The best part was she knew that sort of comments weren’t previously conceived to provoke an effect like such, instead, he just said what he genuinely felt; she loved to tease him though “You sometimes can be soo cheesy...” the foolish smile plastered on the curly-haired boy’s face during the whole course of the conversation transformed into a pout, recognising the naughtiness in her voice “Oh, so you don't like my cheesiness? That’s okay, I’ll stop” the line went silent “Hazza?” “Harry are you kidding?... stop it” he wasn’t going to give in as easily, as much as she liked to tease him, he enjoyed to annoy her “No, I’m not kidding Jessica, what makes you think so?” she rolled her eyes, knowing right after the reply his game “Okay baby… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt your gentleman feelings” the silence she received back told her it hadn’t been enough, sometimes he could behave like a real kid. “I actually adore your sweet words and the way you show me how much you love me with them. I don’t reckon I could carry on normally with my life without them” Even though Harry planned on disturbing her for a bit longer, the laugh he had been containing eventually managed to break free “Okay love, I’ll stop your suffering. Such a cutie like you deserves all the love in the world” this comment made the girl at the other end of the line giggle as she blushed madly.

When the laughs ceased a silence invaded the line, silence broken by Jess’ loud yawn “Love, why don’t you go and get some rest?” “I can’t, I’m way too excited as well as nervous” In that moment Harry recalled what he used to do when things like those happened “What if I sing you to sleep? you know, like in the old days” “Hazz, you don’t ha-” “But I want to. C’mon go to bed, not gonna take a no as an answer” She didn’t put much more resistance, on the inside she was enthusiastic about the idea “As you wish sir” “That’s my girl, now close your eyes and relax, think of this as if I was there, tangled with you” he began to sing softly to ‘I want to write you a song’, a tune he wrote to her in the early stages of their relationship.

She smiled at the sound of his deep voice, little by little feeling as her eyelids felt heavier due to its relaxing effect.

When Harry heard the faint snores she stubbornly denied about, he hung up, not before saying “I love you... Mrs. Styles”

[Time skip]

Jess looked at herself in the mirror for the first time in the whole chaotic day, a wave of emotions hitting her when she realised she was indeed about to get married.

The fact that she had fantasized about the situation numerous times was undeniable, but the sensations it awoke in her couldn’t compare at all to the bliss explosion taking place in her chest at that precise moment.

She liked the feeling, it was a reminder that she wasn’t dreaming anymore.

And thank God it wasn’t a dream.

“Honey, you look so beautiful… I’m speechless” The mannish voice coming from the doorframe made her move her eyes to the figure of her dad reflected on the glass. He stared at her with a proud smile, as he walked to her to wipe a tear that had begun its race down her cheek, placing a kiss on her forehead once he was done. “Dad, we made it. Harry and I made it, see? After everything we went through we accomplished to get to today. He promised to come back to marry me and he fulfilled his promise” the man brought her into a tight embrace, making her feel like when she was just a little naive girl. “Of course, sweetheart. You both deserve this more than anyone in the world. Your strength and his will to fulfill his promise brought you here” he watched as more tears accumulated at the corner of her eyes “Hey sweetie, today there’s no reason to cry, today’s the day to smile, smile so wide that you look ridiculous, but, after all, ridiculously happy” they stayed like that for a couple more minutes, him rubbing her back soothingly.

“We have to get out there now, but before I wanted to let you know how bad I regret what I once said about Harry. I regret having judged him and tried to drift him apart from you. I’m really thankful towards him, he makes you the happiest woman in the world and that's all I want in life. I’m very sorry” Her lower lip trembled slightly and her breathing was ragged. She bit it, trying to stop the tears from falling again.

It was true the first years with Harry had been pretty difficult. When her father found out he had an issue going on, he prohibited her from see him ever again. She had never disobeyed him until that moment, meeting the young boy secretly to help him get out of the hole he was in.

All for love.

“Dad, that doesn’t matter anymore. We’re all okay now and I’m sure Harry is aware of your regret and forgives you as well” the man looked at her daughter, when did she become that mature? “I love you, my little big girl” “I love you dad”.

He placed on her small hand the humble bouquet of flowers. She looked down at it, eyebrows furrowed in confusion “Niall, Louis and Liam made it, they said they wanted to gift you something unique” Jess let out a loud guffaw at the hilarious scene of the process of manufacture that came to her mind “I like it, it's… original?”

“This is the moment... are you ready?”

She took a deep breath, preparing to head towards her future “Yeah… I’ve always been ready for this”

Just as they stepped out into the garden, the lovely sight right in front of her eyes made her forget all the nerves previously felt. As she walked through the light blue path formed by petals scattered here and there on the ground she admired fascinated the scenery around: the wooden seats, where the small amount of guests sat, looked as if they had been made of branches, fairy lights tangled around them, giving a nice illumination to the dimness of the evening; in the altar white bougainvillea flower strings hung loosely from the arch, waving delicately side to side at the rhythm of the soft currents of air. It wasn’t until she got nearer that she saw several polaroids mixed between the flowers, detail that made her smile, she was more than sure Harry had done that. It had been quite a while since she last saw those pictures, the pictures which once captured the beginnings of their story.

Jess walked through the cold snowy streets, carrying dearly with her a small box wrapped in a Christmas themed paper.

Tiny snowflakes landed on her jet black hair as she wondered whether it had been a good idea to visit Harry on Christmas day. There was no turn back when she found herself ringing his bell and, seconds later, a smiley Harry looking back at her. “H-Hi…. Merry Christmas” she awkwardly played with the hard surface of the box, not daring to look at him after her shy greet “Jess, you came… Merry Christmas. Come in, you must be freezing” “It isn’t necessary, I don’t want to disturb, your family must want to spend time with you. I just-” his big hands cupping her cheeks cut her, taking her by surprise “You’re not going to interrupt anything, I’m alone. C’mon get in” he brushed some snowflakes off of her hair before guiding her inside.

“How are you? Have you….” “No, you don’t have to worry. I really do want to get out of that shit, every time temptation comes back I think about you… I- I mean all we’ve done to get where we are” now the one nervous was him, who blushed noticeably. When the hell did he return to his teenage years? he thought to himself.

It was difficult for Jess to ignore his reply, however, she managed to change subject to the reason for her visit “I just came to give you a little present” those words replaced the shame for brightness in his gaze along with a childlike smile, which gave Jess the most joyful sensation, and for a moment she wished she was the reason for that reaction. “Jess, you didn’t have-” “Just open it!” she said as she giggled and handed him the box.

His lips formed an “o” shape when he recognised the camera in front of him as the one he saw in her house “Oh my… Honey this is yours, I can’t accept it” she grinned as she tucked some wild strands of hair behind his small ear “Hazz, it’s no longer mine. From now on I want you to keep it and take pictures of anything that brings you happiness, so you can have a look at them whenever you feel down or that you can’t cope with your problems anymore” the boy gave her a hesitant look, to which she responded with a roll of eyes “okay…” the room went silent. Harry faced down at the item resting on his hands, not paying attention to it but gathering confidence to say his next words: “Can I take you a picture?”

A shiver travelled down the bride’s spine when she came back from her reminiscence to see the once shattered lost boy, now standing in front of her, love floating in his watery orbs. They spent a good deal of time staring at each other, everything around going blurry.

Harry swallowed hard, the overwhelm the situation produced him was tremendous, if It was for him he would skip the whole ceremony to get into the moment when he would be kissing her deeply, discovering her, not a perfect, but a full of genuine love future, by the intimate motions two mouths crashing against each other.

He admired how the dress reached all the way to her feet, hiding these and hugging her curves in the best way. The lights around gave the ideal brightness to her smooth skin and he wished they were alone to be able to trace it, feel it under his fingertips, under his lips, breath in its scent.

Their hands locked, fitting perfectly. Both felt how the hair on their arms rose when they found themselves saying “My wish is coming true”

***

The rest of the wedding couldn’t have gone better. Joy floated in the atmosphere around, everyone danced, talked, even laughed at Harry’s terrible jokes; the garden filled with booes towards him when he mentioned he used to be a baker while cutting the first slice of the wedding cake made by him.

Now they laid on bed, Jess on her stomach and Harry on his side, staring at the way her naked skin responded to the delicate traces of his fingertips all over her back. The bed which once was the witness of the saddest moment of their lives, now hosted their joy, their love.

The light in the room was dull, the only source of it coming from the lamppost outside in the street. The silence around was comfortable, the only audible sound being the one of their breathings softening after their previous activities. He stopped his carressings to pick his wife by the chin and turn her face towards him to place a slow long kiss on her plump lips “Thank you” the girl furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, asking the reason for that comment “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me… for making me the happiest man, for my life better. We’ve been together through thick and thin and you’ve always believed in me, even when I didn’t. When I’m with you I feel so safe... you’re my home” Jess imitated his position in bed, facing him. She cupped his cheeks and made the tip of their noses to touch “Hey, you don’t have to thank me nothing. As much as I’ve done for you, you’ve done for me; I’ve also had ups and downs and you’ve always been the first person to make me feel like everything was going to be okay” he brushed his nose against hers “You have no idea how much I love you, my angel. Promise I’ll never let you down, I’ll always be there for you” she giggled when he playfully bit the flabby skin of her pomule “Even when I’m old and grumpy?” “Yeah, specially then. I’ll be walking around you telling you how cute you look when you’re irritated, and insist even more when you groan in annoyance. Whenever I hear you complaining about the crinkles around your eyes I’ll be there to remind you all the laughs we had together… I’ll be there to make you realise why you should love them; and even then I’ll still see you as the most beautiful woman ever to be on planet Earth. Of course not everything’s going to be perfect, that’s for sure, we’ll make each other mad, we’ll argue, we’ll get stressed, but I’m not worried about it because I know love wins over anything else and we’ll fix our problems as well as we’ve done tons of times before” Jess’ heartbeat rose at his words and she asked to herself what in the world she had done to deserve such a beautiful human being “Harry, that was really heart touching, indeed. What the hell did I do to deserve you?” he brought her closer to him, feeling her fast heartbeat against his chest “Being you”

She snuggled in his strong arms, playing with his little curls. Their breaths became deeper and the embrace lost tightness; their last words before drifting off were:

“I love you Mr. Styles”

“I love you more Mrs. Styles”

MASTERLIST.

[jae-daddy]

Bad Habit (12)

Jaebum series

one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven / thirteen (final)

Pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader (ft. Jinyoung)

Genre: Angst, Romance, Mature

Plot: The castle you hid inside crumbled around you. You sat there, seeing the adulterous red seep from the bricks. Just when you were about to give up, a hand reached for you, but before you could see who it was. He called you from behind, and your heart skipped a beat. 

a/n: Second to last part, I hope y’all enjoy it. Sorry if its too sudden lol- i mean it was coming.  sorry it’s so long again! hehe

and final tomorrow, wow. 

Jaebum had always called you his weakness; his one craving that drove him insane. He always told you he couldn’t live without you, but it was her that he loved. He always talked as if you were his oxygen and her, his one distraction from impulsiveness. 

However, now you were starting to realise that maybe it was all different from the start. Maybe, you weren’t his oxygen, maybe you weren’t his craving either. Im Jaebum didn’t need you in order to be happy, he believed that he did. 

Yet, you couldn’t simply blame him, or his actions, or his feelings; not when you felt the exact same way. Im Jaebum wasn't your one craving you needed to survive; you both could live happily without each other. But, you chose not to. 

You were each other's bad habit. 

A toxic habit that ate you both away every time you lay next to each other; your fingertips touching and your body dancing with sparks. 

“Jinyoung,” you called out, as you twirled the apple against the dark granite of his counter. You leaned on the cold top, putting your weight on your forearms, to get closer to Jinyoung. 

Jinyoung hummed happily, a small smile on his lips as he stole a glance at your carefree face. 

“When was the last time you liked someone?” You asked him, mindlessly, thinking about Jaebum and how much things had changed in the past few months. 

Three months ago, you couldn’t imagine two days going past without Jaebum’s skin pressed against yours. You couldn’t imagine your life going on without Jaebum behind you, pressing him into you as he hot breath fell over your neck. 

Three months ago, life without Jaebum seemed impossible, but here you were now. It had been three months since Jaebum grabbed his girlfriend’s hand and walked away from you without looking back. 

Jinyoung cleared this throat, shaking his head a little before turning towards you. 

“Let’s do this fairly, an answer for an answer?” Jinyoung suggested, and you nodded. He struck his hand out and you followed his suit, rolling your eyes slightly. “Like always, the winner gets to ask first.”

You agreed, before you, both simultaneous threw your signs. 

Your mouth dropped as you saw and the results, as Jinyoung brought up his victorious rock above him in a silent victory. 

You let out a sigh, making Jinyoung throw a mocking grin towards you. 

“Don’t be a sour loser, y/n,” he teased, raising his eyebrows slightly, his light dimples playfully dancing on his cheeks. You snarled at him, telling him to fire his question. 

“Okay,” he sighed, his playful demeanour shifting immediately, as he picked up his spoon, and stirred the pot cooking your dinner. “Why don’t you come to lectures anymore?”

The apple in your hand rolled off the counter as the question caught you off guard. You shifted your eyes from the shining dark surface to meet Jinyoung’s demanding one. 

“Why this,” you gulped, feeling nervous. “So suddenly?” You avoided his eyes, looking at your nails instead. 

“Y/n,” Jinyoung warned, his voice dipping low. “An answer for an answer, follow the rules.”

You licked your lips, your mouth suddenly feeling to dry. Your eyes moving frantically looking for a distraction, but after a minute when nothing seemed to change you sighed in defeat. 

“There are lecture recordings,” you tried, lying. But you instantly frowned, when you saw Jinyoung shake his head, telling you he wouldn’t eat the bullshit you were feeding him. 

“If you know the answer, then why are you asking me?” You pouted, as a deep sigh left you. 

Jinyoung moved in front of you, bending down to your height as he leaned on the other side of the counter. He mirrored your sigh, before giving you a tight smile. 

“Because you shouldn’t live this way.” He told you, and your eyes stupidly started to water. 

You blinked furiously, as you looked away from his dark eyes. 

“You don’t know that,” you shook your head, as you spun on your stool. 

You heard Jinyoung make his way towards you, and stand in front of you. You stared at his navy slippers, refusing to meet his eyes. 

“Look at me, y/n,” Jinyoung told you, sternly. When you didn’t, you felt him place his hand gently on your chin and made you meet his glistening eyes. 

“You don’t have to feel sorry or guilty for anything, y/n,” he told you, his eyes sparkling with sincerity. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

You looked into Jinyoung’s eyes, and you saw he truly meant what he was saying. Every word that left his rosy lips were dipped in honey and carried the purest meaning. There was no judgement or disgust in his eyes, only care and worry.

“I was sleeping with him, Jinyoung,” you bit out, removing your face from his hands. You weren’t able to look into his eyes; you didn’t want to see the look in his eyes to change into something that made you feel like trash. “How is that not wrong?”

You folded your arms, and faced the wall instead, as a tear slipped from your eyes. 

“Y/n,” Jinyoung softly said, “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I fucked him, Jinyoung,” you spat back at him loudly. “I fucked Im Jaebum while he had a girlfriend. I’ve been doing it since we were kids. I’ve been his side hoe, or mistress, or dirty secret- whatever the fuck people call them- I am it. How is that not wrong?!”

“It’s not wrong.”

“How can you say that?!”

“Because loving someone is never fucking wrong, y/n!” Jinyoung yelled back, his eyes wide; red streaks of frustration sparking in them. 

You felt your breath get caught in your throat, as you stared at him unable to say anything. 

“You loved him, y/n. How can that be wrong?” He added, calming down, but the anger still evident in his tone. 

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, after a while. You bit your lips, feeling foolish, as tears ran down your cheeks. 

“Stop fucking saying sorry!” Jinyoung groaned, in frustration, as he kicked the back of his sofa. 

“It makes me so mad sad seeing you beat yourself over this- over him. Do you know how hard it was to see you wasting yourself away in clubs, trying to drown him out when he didn’t give a fuck?” Jinyoung asked, his eyes widening in anger. 

A little sob left you, as you took in what he was saying. You couldn’t understand anything that was happening, all you heard was the truth in his words, and it prickled your heart, slowly tearing it to pieces. 

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, quietly. 

“Didn’t I say not to apologise? There’s nothing for you to be sorry about.” Jinyoung turned towards, noticing you crying for the first time. 

“Hey,” he instantly sobered from his anger. In less than a second, he was in front of you, his large warm hands holding your face gently, as tears continued to roll down. 

“I’m sorry- shit.” He cursed under his breath, he lifted your face, making you meet his eyes. “I’m not mad at you. I can never be mad at you.

“It’s him. I’m mad that he’s making you feel this way. And at myself, because I don’t know what to do to make you feel better.”

“Jinyoung,” you breathed, before wrapping your arms around him tightly. You hid your face into his chest, as your body began to shake. “Thank you. Thank you for not hating me.”

Jinyoung let out a chuckle, as he placed a hand on your head, soothing your hair. 

“How can I ever hate you, y/n?” Jinyoung sighed, but you could hear the smile in his voice. “How can I hate you when I’m exactly the same as you?”

Before you could ask what he meant, you heard a sizzle from the stove, making you both break apart instantly. 

“My spicy tofu soup!” Jinyoung comically exclaimed, rushing over to the overflowing pot. You let out a little giggle, before wiping your red face. 

“I’ll go wash my face,” you told Jinyoung, who just nodded already immersed in the food that needed CPR.

“Wow, you’re really such a good cook,” you grunted in bliss, as you finished the last of the delicious food. “Seriously, how more perfect can you get, Park Jinyoung?” 

Jinyoung just shook his head in reply, smiling shyly. 

“Here, let me help you,” you began cleaning the table, as Jinyoung began moving towards the kitchen.

“You don’t have to-”

“You fed me, Jinyoung.”

“I like that.” Jinyoung suddenly said, stopping in shock.

You turned towards him, as you placed the last dishes in the sink, standing beside him. 

“Like what? Me doing work?” You gasped, shaking your head. “Am I that lazy and ungrateful to you?”

Jinyoung chuckled before shaking his head. 

“Then what?”

“My name.” He replied, softly. He started the faucet, as he picked up a bowl to hide his nervousness. 

“Huh?”

“I like it when you say my name.” 

You didn’t say anything. You couldn’t say anything. 

You froze in your position, your hands gripping the corner of the sink, as your shoulder lightly brushed against Jinyoung’s. You felt your tummy flip when you touched, but that just made you more confused than anything else.

Do friends say this to each other? 

“Ask me again,” Jinyoung asked, sounding more confident and sure. He picked up another dish, scrubbing it clean with furrowed brows.

“W-what?” You stammered, feeling nervous all of a sudden. You didn’t get why you were being so nervous; normally Jinyoung had a calming effect on you.

Whenever you’d wake up from nightmares, or the old memories got too much, Jinyoung you there to calm and make you feel better. 

You remember Jinyoung had told you, “Anything for you.” A few weeks ago, and he stuck to those words. Jinyoung would go up and above himself to make sure you were happy. You remembered his smiling face, his eyes lighting up, as his glasses climbed up his nose, and wrinkles dug around his eyes. 

He looked so happy when you told him the smallest things about yourself and your day, and now it felt a heavy feeling in your chest. 

Did it all mean more than friendship?

“Ask me, when was the last time I was in love.”

You gulped as you felt your heart begin to race. Everything around you was blending into white noise, everything your saw vanished, leaving only Park Jinyoung and your drumming heart for you. 

Jinyoung stopped washing the dishes and waited for you. His eyes didn’t look at you, but you noticed the rapid rise and fall of his chest. You saw his locked jaws, and dazed eyes, staring mindlessly at one spot.

“When was the last time you were in love-”

“Right now.” He answered immediately, turning to look into your eyes. “Right now.” He breathed, making your cheeks burn scarlet, as his eyes looked into yours with so much emotion. 

“I am in love with you, y/n,” Jinyoung whispered with so much longing and love, that it made your heart swell. You felt a light spark inside you, as his words sunk inside you. “I am madly in love with you.”

“Jinyoung,” you breathed, unsure of what to say. He shook his head cutting you off, as he took a step closer to you. 

“I know you don’t see me that way. I, also know that you love him,” his warm hands landed on your elbows before sinking to your palms. His hands closed around yours, as he leaned in closer to you. 

He rested his forehead against you gently, agony dancing tortuously in his eyes, as they looked feverishly into yours.

“But,” he gulped, closing his eyes, his breath racing, nervously. “I can wait. If you tell me that one day you can love me, like I love you, y/n; I will wait forever for you.”

You felt your throat close up, as he took in his words. You didn’t know if you could answer him honestly; better yet, you didn’t know the answer yourself. 

You felt Jinyoung’s heat seep through your clothes, as he moved his hand from yours, and gently placed them on your waist. His eyes still closed, but the expression on his face hopeless, and hopeful at once. 

You didn’t know what to do. 

“I need to go.” You said, your voice barely above a whisper before you untangled yourself from him and ran out of his apartment. 

Your body shivered as your elevator dinged signalling it made it to your floor. 

You couldn’t get Jinyoung out of your mind; his voice, his touch, his words, and his eyes. It was haunting you every moment you stepped away from his apartment and made your way towards yours. 

Where did this leave you both now? Were you friends? Lovers?

And could you do it? Could you stop loving Jaebum and love Jinyoung?

You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn’t realise you walked into someone until you felt yourself fall to the fall. You noticed the woman a few doors down your apartment, picking up her papers, that she had dropped as you both fell. 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you apologised, snapping back into reality.

“It’s okay, we both we weren’t looking,” the lady smiled back, before looking over at you. “Oh wait, you’re 809 right?”

You nodded with a small smile, before handing her the papers that you had collected. 

“Thank you,” she said, but before she walked away, you heard her call out from behind you. 

“Hey, 809?!” You turned around to meet her eyes once again. “Don’t keep your boyfriend out for too long. It’s getting colder nowadays, it’s been months already; let him in now.” 

“Sorry?” You asked, confused. 

“Your boyfriend, the tall good looking guy, with dark hair? He’s always sitting outside your door until five in the morning. 

“I wanted to call the cops at one point because I thought he was a crazy stalker, but my daughter said that you both were in a relationship so I let it be. He has been sitting outside your door for a bit over two months now, don’t be so angry-- Hey, where you-”

You didn’t wait for her to finish. Your feet began taking steps towards your door on its own accord; picking up speed every new corner you turned. 

Your heart was beating erratically against your chest, attempting to escape from its cage and run over to the man who you thought was waiting outside your door. 

Could it be him? No, it can’t be?

Everything inside you began to hurt as you thought of him, leaning against your door, day after day, just waiting. You imagined him, hurdling his jacket closer to him, running his hair through his dark locks frustrated with himself. 

You imagined the man who still made your heart clench in pain, waiting for you all that time. 

All that time you had thought he was gone; that he left you. 

But he was there; he was outside your doorstep the whole time. 

Tears began to prickle your eyes, as grief an anger arose inside you. You were mad at yourself for doubting him, angry at yourself for never opening your door to check. 

Your eyes stung as tears burned in them burning to get out; one finally escaped and another. 

You quickly wiped them away, as you stopped a turn away before your door became visible. You leaned against the wall; your back pressed against the off-white for support as your legs began giving out beneath you. 

Your hands were shaking, as your heart shivered inside your chest with sorrow and nervousness. You took a deep breath in attempt to control your rapid breathing and gulped as you wiped all your tears away. 

Just as you thought you were fine, guilt and happiness hit you at once, making you fall back against the wall. You clasped a hand over your mouth to hold in a sob, as your feelings began mixing to one cloud of grey. 

After a minute, you sobered yourself slowly, trying to relax once again. 

You took a deep breath, readying yourself before you turned the corner to your apartment. 

You closed your eyes and took a step into the hallway that you led to your home. You didn’t open your eyes for a moment, scared of what you’ll find and what you won’t.

You slowly opened your eyes, the darkness bleeding away in light; the sight slowly taking shape. You kept watching as the blurred lines faded away leaving a clear picture, once you were close to your door and the dark figure sitting in front of it. 

You stared at him for a moment, taking in his defeated shoulders, and head hung low in his arms. You watched as the rain splattered on the pavement kissing the toes of his shoes, but he sat there unaffected.

You took another step closer, then another. Your shoes lightly tapping against the solid floor with every step. You felt numb, happy, sadness and tired, all at once.

You were a door away from your house when you finally called his name out. And all at once you felt your lungs be filled with valleys of velvety petals.  

"Jaebum.”

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[jae-daddy]

Holic (5)

Jaebum AU

one / two / three / four / six / seven / eight

Characters: Im Jaebum x Reader

Genre: Drama, Romance, Mature

Plot: No one says, but there is no need for it. It will always be your sister. 

a/n: even though my sisters are living hells, I swear this is not from personal experience lol. 

You smiled at the photo of three children in the photo. The resemblance between the girls was uncanny, but the boy was the odd one out. You could tell he wasn’t a sibling, it seemed like he wasn’t even enjoying himself. 

While the two other girls were beaming with toothy grins; the boy sat on the side with his arms folded, brooding. 

However, if you looked close enough, you could see he was having fun. 

His hands were covered in the same paint that decorated the girls face, and all three of their clothes. You could see the glinting sparkle in his eyes that showed his happiness. 

But, you couldn’t see that sparkle in his eyes anymore; It was no longer there. No matter how hard you searched you couldn’t find it in his dark eyes, instead, you were met with empty sad eyes. 

The photo faded into another, and you turned your eyes to see the other’s reaction. 

Jaebum sat there sipping his wine looking unaffected by the photo of his first choice, and their happy childhood together. You tried to look for any signs of a damaged man who was in pain seeing his last love, but you couldn’t find him. 

Instead, all that you saw was an egotistical asshole, with his signature lazy smirk on his lips. 

You let out a quiet sigh, as you turned to see your parents face. 

And that’s when your heart dropped. 

Your mother had tears glistening in her eyes, and your father sat there with heavy shoulders. Your eyes met your mother’s, and she gave you a sad smile. 

You could tell that smile wasn’t for you who had to suffer so much, because your sister decided to take off. 

No, instead they were for her missing child. 

They both still wished for your older sister above you. 

You can never be her.  Jaebum’s voice echoed in your mind, and you cast your eyes away from your parents.

You heard a sniff from your mother and your head snapped towards her. Unwillingly, you lips curled into a snarl as you stared at her in disgust. You felt anger poking at your sides but you tried to it at bay. 

The truth was that you missed your sister too. 

You missed her more than you liked to admit. The early mornings when you woke from nightmares, not being able to go back to sleep, you wondered how different things would’ve been if everything went according to plan. 

If your sister’s wedding dress didn’t have to be pinned to fit her little sister, how different would things be? 

Her husband would’ve been smiling, and her parents would be shedding tears of joy. Most of all, her little sister wouldn’t have been married to an arrogant ass, and have to sit on a table filled with people who missed her selfish sister.

“You miss her, don’t you?” You harshly whispered to your mother. You knew you were being hypocritically cruel, but you’d much rather be that than a pathetic sog crying over her irresponsible sister. 

You didn’t want to miss someone who left everyone a mess, or want to admit it, at least. 

Your mother didn’t answer, but her actions were louder than any lie she could’ve uttered. Her body froze with tears glistening in her eyes,  as her lips shook holding in a heart-clenching sob. 

Instead of being the perfect daughter and comforting her, you lips turned downwards in distaste. 

The role of the best daughter went to your older sister; you were the heartless nuisance. 

“I don’t believe this.” You huffed, leaning back in your chair. No one seemed to have noticed the heated exchange between you two, but that didn’t mean you no longer felt like screaming your lungs off. 

“Hey, you okay?” Jaebum asked, placing a hand on yours. You met his brown eyes, that seemed lighter than most times. They almost looked caring and sincere. 

However, that was the last thing you needed. You didn’t need any form of genuine affection right now. All you needed was a distraction, and your mother seemed to be a step ahead of you. 

“Your parents and I were thinking, Jaebum,” your mother stared, drawing Jaebum’s attention from you. “You both should start thinking about the future.”

You stared at her in confusion, as she kept on only addressing Jaebum, whilst she talked about both of your futures. You looked at her as she continued to plan out your life as she wished it was her other daughter instead of you beside Jaebum. 

“When do you plan for a child?” She asked Jaebum. 

“The child will be coming out of me, mother.” You muttered through gritted teeth, bringing your mother’s attention back to you. “Shouldn’t you be asking me?”

She stared at you, speechless, before letting out a little dry chuckle. 

“You must be joking, y/n,” she shook her head at you, with a small smile. “Of course you should want to have a child as soon as possible-”

You placed your utensils down on the table and tried to swallow all the anger bubbling inside of you. 

“Mother, I think it’s only appropriate for that Jaebum and I to make the plans for our future,” you said, the at least left hanging in the air, reminding her what their choices in the past have done to their children. 

“Right,” your mother blinked, wiping her mouth. 

“But it should happen soon,” your mother started, but you stopped her. 

“It should happen when we both are ready.” You placed your napkin on your plate. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot of work to get back to.

“The dinner was lovely, dad.” You smiled at your father. “Goodbye, mother.” 

You gave everyone in the room the smile you had been taught as a child. A smile that belonged to someone who controlled the room, and everyone in it. You didn’t even have control over your life, but you could always pretend like you did. 

You woke up in the middle of the night and stared into the darkness surrounding you. 

It was another night of the same nightmare, and it was starting to take its toll on you. You got up from bed without looking at the time and made your way to the kitchen. 

You flipped the lights looming over the fridge on, and gasped in surprise when you saw a figure standing there. But you relaxed when you saw Jaebum’s suit from tonight. 

“Gosh, what are you still doing here?” You muttered tossing your hair to the side, as you got out the milk. 

“I just got back in,” he replied, before letting out a sigh. “About what your mother said-”

“You don’t have to clarify for her or do anything about her. Just ignore her.” You told him. 

It’s about time she tasted her own medicine, you wanted to add, but you bit your tongue. 

Jaebum nodded not meeting your eyes. 

This was the first time you both had talked since the other night. 

“Why are you here tonight?” You asked as you sipped the warm milk from the cup. 

“Oh,” Jaebum snapped out of his daze and looked at you. “Last minute paperwork.” 

You pursed your lips and nodded not sure what to say. You stared at the cup in hand and looked at the white liquid swirling inside. You could feel Jaebum’s gaze remaining on you, and you tried to ignore it. With every passing second, you could feel it burning brighter through you. 

“What?” You snapped your head at him. You hadn’t realised how close he was to you and ended up spilling your milk on his suit. 

“Omg! I’m so sorry!” You exclaimed, reaching for the towel. You began wiping it furiously, trying to distract yourself from Jaebum’s heated gaze. Or the feeling in the pit of tummy fluttering due to his gaze, or how you could feel the hardness of his chest under his thin shirt. 

“As much as I love to see you in pain,” Jaebum whispered softly, his heat seeping into your skin. “I have to ask; why do you look like you crawled the hard way out of hell?”

You smiled at that and looked up to meet his eyes. 

“There was an easy way?” You smirked playfully, as his eyes glistened with something you hadn’t seen in a long time. It was the same happiness that once sparkled in those warm brown eyes. The one the little boy had in the photo, and all of your memories.

“There it is,” you whispered, staring into his eyes. His eyes looked back, taking in the patterns of your eyes that made them deeper, and the lashes that surrounded them, making them look darker. 

“What is?” he asked, his voice low. His gaze dropped to your parted lips for a moment, before snapping back to meet your eyes. Your heart beat so loud in your chest you could feel it pumping in your ears. 

“It’s a secret,” You replied, poking your tongue out mockingly, as you stepped back. Jaebum gave you an annoyed look, before rolling his eyes. 

“Sorry, about your suit.” You said as you gulped down a new cup of milk. 

“You should be,” he gruffed, dusting off the liquid. “It can’t be saved anymore. This was the first time I wore it, too.”

It was your turn to roll your eyes at his childishness. 

“You didn’t answer though,” Jaebum reminded you, folding his hands behind him as he followed you out of the kitchen. 

You let out a long exhausted sigh, as you rubbed your eyes feeling slightly sleepy, thankfully. 

“I keep getting nightmares in that room,” you told him. Jaebum looked at you surprised, before clearing his throat. 

“That’s a first, normally guests sleep like a baby in that room.” 

“Well, this baby gets visited by the same monster under her bed.” You retorted, half-jokingly. 

“Recurring dreams?” He asked with a raised eyebrow. You nodded, with pursed lips, your shoulders dropping in defeat. 

“Well, would you like to sleep in mine?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows. You slightly shoved him away, before laughing a little. 

You were outside the room you slept in. You sighed, looking at the light wooden doors. 

“You were right, Jaebum,” you hummed eyeing the closed the doors. You turned to find a confused Jaebum studying you. 

“I can never be her. None of this is mine; even her room can’t seem to get over me taking her spot.” You shot him a sad smile. 

Jaebum’s lips turned into a frown as his brows scrunched together, upset. He looked at the way you nervously rubbed your elbow and sighed feeling guilty. 

“Look, y/n, I’m sorry about last time. I was out of line that time; I was being petty just to win. I didn’t mean it.” He scratched the back of his neck, nervously. 

You smiled at his nervous boyish ways and shook your head. 

“But you were right though. It doesn’t matter if I take her place-”

“But you didn’t,” Jaebum cut you off in a rough voice.  

You avoided his hard eyes and stared at the dark floor instead, as you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. 

“You did not sabotage her wedding to take her place.” His voice demanding you to look at him, but you couldn’t meet them. ”She’s the one who didn’t turn up. She’s the one who ran away; you’re the one who saved all of us.”

“But,” you whispered, there’s always a but. You lifted your eyes to meet his dark ones. The tears burned behind your eyes, and you felt your chest tighten as the next words left you. 

“But you’d rather have her than me, any day.”

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