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fushiglow · 6 months

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a short fic for the prompt: satosugu + first time 🔞

I HOPE YOU ENJOY BABY'S FIRST NSFW FIC!! thank you for the prompt, @lmskitty 🫶 sorry for desecrating it with my utter silliness, i simply cannot help myself. i hope the fluff at the end makes up for it?!

(yeah it's even longer than last time, enjoy 1000 words 💀)

content warning: nsfw, bad oral sex lol

‘How does it feel?’ And wasn’t that just the million dollar question? Truthfully, Suguru couldn’t exactly say it felt good. In fact, the way Satoru was suckling at the end of his cock bordered on painful. He assaulted that sensitive bundle of nerves with suction on the wrong side of ‘just right’. Miraculously, Suguru was still hard. Maybe it was because the image of Satoru on his knees left no space for anything else in his brain, or maybe it was because all the blood in his body was being forcibly siphoned to his dick from the force of Satoru’s sucking. He’d already started mentally preparing himself to approach Shōko with the most mortifying request of his life — because there was no way the vacuum of Satoru’s mouth wasn’t going to leave bruises. In fact, ‘Are you using Blue or something?’ Satoru pulled off him with a painful pop, a confused crease between his brows. ‘What?’ Perhaps not then. Suguru wondered how to phrase it without hurting Satoru’s feelings, chewing at his lip and hoping he passed for horny. ‘Maybe… Do you want to try going a little deeper?’ The more Satoru opened his jaw, the less he’d be able to latch on like he was trying to extract Suguru’s cursed energy through his cock. That was Suguru’s logic — and for precisely 0.2 seconds, it seemed like it was sound. But then Suguru bumped against Satoru’s soft palate, and it was over before it had even begun. Satoru wrenched himself away, falling back onto his heels with a heave that shook his entire body. His hand shot to his lips and he mumbled into the back of it. ‘Fuck.’ Really, Suguru should have known better than to open his mouth when Satoru was furiously blinking away tears, but when he looked at the glistening saliva that reached not even a third of the way down his shaft, he couldn’t help himself. ‘Is that it?’ The reaction was instantaneous. Blue eyes flashing like raw electricity, Satoru clambered to his feet, yanked down his boxers and practically shouted, ‘You have a go if you think it’s so easy!’ Idiot. Suguru had no need to feel intimidated by the thick, angry-looking cock bobbing in front of his face because, in case Satoru had forgotten, taking things down his throat was what Suguru did best. ‘Fine,' he said simply, feeling more than a little smug. Holding Satoru steady, Suguru peered up from under his eyelashes as he surged forward, keen to see the exact moment he rocked Satoru’s world by swallowing him whole. He was so confident in the unique skills derived from his technique that he failed to account for one key detail. Satoru was not, in fact, a metaphysical ball of cursed energy that would glide down his throat without lubrication. Inevitably, there was painful resistance. Satoru hissed, jerking his hips away from Suguru to nurse his chafed cock between his fingers. ‘Shit,’ Suguru rasped, cheeks burning as much as his throat. ‘Shit, I’m sorry—’ ‘It’s fine.’

There was a moment of strained silence where they refused to look at each other, both tending to their bruised egos. Surprisingly, it was Satoru who offered an olive branch first. Wearing a little pout on his lips, he dropped into the space next to Suguru with a huff. ‘We really fucking suck at this, huh.’ The unintentionally apt choice of words hovered in the air between them for a moment. It only took a shared look and a twitch of Suguru’s lips to shatter the tension like glass. All at once, Satoru launched himself in Suguru’s direction, tackling him to the bed and holding him tight as they descended into fits of laughter. Suguru wondered why he’d ever felt nervous about being honest with Satoru when it was as easy as breathing now. ‘That’s actually the whole problem, Satoru.’ He shot his boyfriend a wry smile. ‘You fucking suck a little too much.’ Satoru snorted, thumping him in the chest. ‘At least I know you’ve gotta get a dick wet before you try shoving it down your throat, you asshole.’ Suguru conceded the point with a snort of his own. When their giggles died down, they fell into a comfortable silence, their bodies pressed together just so. Finally, a voice piped up from somewhere in the crook of Suguru’s neck. ‘Let me try again.’ Satoru pushed himself up with some urgency. ‘I’ll do better this time.’ His face was open and vulnerable, but the resolve shining in Satoru’s blue, blue eyes spoke of his eagerness to please. It made Suguru’s heart swell with something they hadn’t yet put a word to. When he spoke, his voice was a little rough. ‘You don’t have to.’ ‘But I want to,’ Satoru insisted. And Suguru found that he felt the same. He wanted to please Satoru. ’Me too.’ Suguru would never get sick of seeing that rare, soft smile. It never lasted on Satoru though. ‘You know, Suguru,’ he said, voice taking on a dangerous thoughtful tone. ‘They say it takes 10,000 hours to master a skill.' A wicked grin overtook his lovely features. ‘But I’ve never met one I couldn’t master in less than 30. Wanna put that to the test?’ God, Suguru wanted that very much — and Satoru clearly knew it. ‘You might have the head-start, Suguru,’ he snickered, eyebrows waggling. ‘But by the end of tomorrow?’ Those blue eyes positively gleamed with mischief. ‘I’ll be able to swallow balls even better than you.’ Suguru arched an eyebrow, grin threatening to split his face in two. ‘Better than me?’ ‘Not just you.’ Satoru shimmied down the bed, sliding his hands over Suguru’s body in a way that started all of his blood rushing south. ‘I’m gonna become the best fucking cocksucker this world has ever seen.’ Knowing Satoru, he could probably do it, too. The thought rendered Suguru’s words a little strained. ‘Always so cocky, Satoru.’ Finally settled between Suguru’s thighs, Satoru gripped him by the base of his cock, flashing Suguru the arrogant grin that always made him weak in the knees. ‘Lie back and look pretty, and you’ll find out why.’ That blue gaze was something fierce, like Satoru was starving and Suguru was a five-course meal. When he pressed his tongue to Suguru’s length and licked a long, slow stripe from root to tip, Suguru actually groaned out loud. ‘Watch and learn, Suguru.’

and then they practised and practised until they all sucked and fucked happily ever after 🥰 thanks to gojo blowjo the sloppy tip suckler for the extra inspiration this time loooool

if you wanna submit a prompt or request, head over to my retrospring — make sure to read the guidelines first!

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sneezemonster15 · 11 months

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I wonder why do you think Megumi and Itadori are portrayed as romantic, but not Suguru and Satoru? Sincerely I want to see your thoughts about it, since to me, Satosugu akways appeared as more ambiguous than Itafushi

Ah. You are right, SatoSugu is more ambiguous than Itafushi. But I really want to finish reading the manga, at least the currently available chapters before I write a comparison. I will though. I promise.

But see. A writer needs to establish certain things before he can establish a romantic dynamic between two same sex characters, to make it believable. It needs to be strategic to be believable in a seamless manner. If two men love each other in a generally heteronormative world, then the writer will definitely establish their sexualities because it's an instinctive response, the audience will wanna see it to believe it.

If two characters are gay, or not straight, the writer will show it. And Gege does. He makes Todo ask such a question to Megumi. He makes Megumi think about it. Megumi says - 'person' when he was specifically asked about a girl. Look at the specific choices the writer is making. He says he only cares for compassion in his prospective mate, and what is Yuuji's USP? Compassion. Yep.

Not Nobara.

Yuuji.

Anyway, from that, we are able to glean information about Megumi's sexuality. And it certainly doesn't look straight. This is all very strategic and deliberate. Megumi is characterised as a self assured person, a thoughtful and introspective person, who knows what he likes and dislikes. In fact, if anyone had bothered to ask Sasuke about his preferences, he would have answered similarly, with a similar attitude too. Hehe.

With Itadori, Gege makes it a point to talk about his sexuality as well. So Itadori is shown as a person who is indecisive. Gege describes him as indecisive. Of course if he is made to be in a position where he needs to think, he will. He is a bit slow, but not a complete idiot. He has a decent learning curve.

He likes tall girls, this is what is told to us. But we are SHOWN something else. When he is asked what girl he likes in his class, he says Ozawa, who was neither tall nor pretty at the time. Isn't it contradictory? Didn't we see the same kind of contradiction with Naruto? Like one would have expected a straight boy to react, he didn't. He didn't objectify girls, like most straight teenage boys would do without a second thought. There is so much conversation about what type of girl her likes. But when finally a tall Ozawa comes along, Yuuji isn't interested, not romantically. Todo asks him the same question and he is baffled so he says something he has been saying for a long time.

People get curious but you wouldn't wanna say something private like this to just anyone no? Especially when you are yourself confused about it. Yuuji is also not like Megumi.

So what you are getting from this is Gege is establishing their traits and sexualities without being too explicit. And we know writers can do it, we have seen it with Naruto. Sasuke and Naruto's sexualities are also questioned and established as not straight, not explicitly but it's clear to perceptive fans, no?

There is a lot of other stuff that confirms ItaFushi.

The characters of Yuuji and Megumi are influenced by Naruto and Sasuke, Gege has admitted it. And I am ready to bet that Gege knows what Naruto the story is truly about.

Gojo outwardly seems like Kakashi but he ain't in the most important way, he isn't a slave to the system, he wants to change the obsolete ways of the system, he is the protector of his students, someone who actually understands them. Sasuke and Megumi are quite alike but Megumi doesn't have Sasuke's conflict. Yuuji is like Naruto characterwise, but he doesn't have Naruto's insecurity. Nobara is like Sakura on the surface, hot headed and loud, but at her core, very different from Sakura.

JJK is like Naruto 2.0. I am not saying it's better or worse. They are two different worlds. What I am saying is that Gege is sort of correcting everything that went wrong with Naruto, in his own manga. Things that fans like us hate. There are a lot of notes I have made about this, but I want to finish the manga first before writing in detail.

I updated my stance on SatoSugu when I got a bit more into jjk. But the reason I am not sure is because we don't see their relationship with the same kind of development like Megumi and Yuuji. Yuuta makes a joke about Gojo finally getting a gf, which he dismisses. And I noticed. But we didn't see Gojo and Geto's relationship being developed from the beginning. By the time Amanai incident shows up, we see them as best friends, they are obviously very close. But it really doesn't seem romantic at that point of time. They mirror each other, they roughhouse, they fuck around together and then find out lol, but they really do seem like good friends. However, I noticed some things with grown up Gojo and Geto, which could indicate a romantic attachment.

The markers I need to see to believe Satosugu is definitely a romantic relationship aren't as established as Megumi and Yuuji's relationship. If it's romantic, the writer will give us this information for sure, one way or the other. But there is a lot to be seen yet. Gege's non linear storytelling will certainly come in handy.

#jjk #anon #ask #satosugu #itafushi #itadori #megumi

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counting-eyerolls · 1 year

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this is me being angry about people's reactions to creative decisions in media so rambling under the cut.

jjk 236 spoilers for those who did not see the tags.

i think it's genuinely concerning how some people consume media. it's your comfort piece of art and something that you adore with all your being and you write about it and post about it and talk about it but the second your favourite dies (said favourite happening to be one of the "hot" characters) boom it's shit and you shouldn't have read it and you come up with insults and slurs towards the creator.

in the past 1.5h i've been awake today i have seem so much hate towards an artist all because of a newly posted chapter and the way it progresses/ends.

yes this is about jjk and chapter 236. (spoilers ahead, last warning)

i feel like the point of any creative piece (writing, visual art, music etc) is to send a message and have the readers/watchers etc feel something because of your work. it's to send an emotion.

remember how we all felt when geto was dying? i sure do. he was and still is my favourite, dead and all. broke my heart -- it all did, not just his death but everything leading up to it (in terms of satosugu moments and symbolism for example). i didn't see this much hate though. maybe this is because by the time he died, he had already become one of the negative characters and people already had new favourites to focus on, heck if i know.

still.

i mean obviously, nobody likes the fact that your favourite character gets killed but it is about the vision of the author/artist etc. geto dying gave us so much symbolism and so many parallels and character development (for gojo, for example) etc without which he probably wouldn't have turned into the character everyone is obsessed with. it was part of a complex backstory and character development, it showed us how the specific character was dealing with problems which aren't that easy to deal with, it showed how the influence of those around him (or lack thereof) affected him and why he ended up choosing the path that he chose etc. yes, it was sad that he died, but it was part of a bigger story. still i think it's unbelievable to insult and criticize someone so much because of a choice they made with the character they created. i get that it sucks that your fav dies or suffers but try to appreciate the fact that no artist owes anyone anything and they are still creating and publishing and putting their art out for you to consume and sharing their creativity with you. would you have preferred that you never had said art piece at all?

imagine you come up with a story that's so awesome to you and you're proud of it but halfway through you start getting hate for it because you kill someone in the middle of it. when it was your story to begin with ?? so you are allowed to do whatever you like ?? literally no rules. but the people criticizing you don't know what you plan to do with this in the long run so they just, well, hate. this is what i cant accept, no matter the fandom or the characters, whether they're fictional or based on real people or stage personas etc. not agreeing with a creative decision (in fiction or otherwise) is perfectly acceptable. sending hate to the creator because you do not like it? unacceptable.

stop consuming it then. it's just as easy to stop as it is to pick up.

and it disgusts me that people who should know better are doing this. people who are fic writers themselves. maybe not directly sending hate to the creator but commenting and posting about it (using dare i say quite shitty wording as well). this is not only telling everyone that you share this opinion but encouraging others who feel the same to follow your example, even if you are not explicitly doing it. you are encouraging, for example, followers that are younger and do not know better (not because "when you're young you don't know anything", but because it is true that at a younger age you are not able to fully understand certain principles and thought processes and what is right or not) to do the same and who knows, said influenced people (whether old or young, doesn't matter) can then take the hate further to the creator. you are inactively telling people who do not know better that it is okay to do this. why? because to you it is "so serious ong" or because "you are disgusted" by this creative decision and so on. as a fic writer on tumblr you sometimes become somebody that readers and those who do not have the confidence to share their work look up to. and you normalize this behaviour because you are upset that the sexy white haired guy died when you liked to write fics about him. you normalize this behaviour and find it acceptable to do this (because if you didn't find it acceptable, would you be doing it in the first place?) just because you refuse to take a deep breath and look at things from another perspective.

in my opinion it also shows that you are unable to take a step back and see the bigger picture or appreciate said creative decision in relation to the whole creative work. how do you know that your favourite dying will not change the story in the best way possible? you do not know, because the story is still ongoing.

so you are basically consuming the media but not actually appreciating any of the work and thought that go into it. you don't see it as something that is trying to send a message. you don't see the work that gets put into it. more importantly, you don't think that maybe the point of the author/creator is to do more than just write hot characters. so you are not appreciating the thought process behind it but when you don't like something? you are way too quick to criticize and insult. i am not saying you should like or agree or enjoy everything that happens. but you also cannot choose to insult and slur your way out of something you don't particularly like, especially when it doesn't seem like you give praise and what is deserved when you do actually agree and like the creative decisions that have been taken. so if you cannot do the opposite (aka being positive about moments in the media you consume) why do you feel the need to be so vocal and negative about things you do not agree with. has it occured to you that maybe you don't understand the full creative thought process?

disagree with creative decisions, come up with actual thoughts on why you think it wasn't right to do so or why it shouldn't have been done in the first place, come up with arguments and reasons why you think it doesn't make sense or why it isn't realistic. analyze the characters and the actions that the creator is making them do. maybe it's out of character or maybe it's a plot hole. who knows. come up with an opinion and justify why it is so "disgusting" for you to experience said part of the work. you will never achieve anything with insults and slander just because you are unhappy.

i don't feel the need for people to validate what i am saying or agree with me. but if you do not agree with me at least try telling me why. this is the essence of what i am saying: you can have a different opinion and not agree with someone but still be respectful of their decision to think or act that way. in art or in the real world.

you will also never know why the person thinks a certain way if you don't at least try to understand or ask them about it.

anyway yea.

#you belong to a community of creative people and you have probably experienced receiving hate #so why do you do the same #why do you normalize this #why is it so hard to detach from media that you consume and think like an actual human being instead of being like this #jjk manga leaks #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers

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sasukesun · 5 days

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Hi bella, what is your opinion on the possibility or theories of gojo coming back in these last few chapters of the manga?

I am not totally caught up with the chapters so I might be missing something. I don’t think he will live but some of his fans are holding out hope until the very end, and I don’t really see why. I know they don’t want him to be dead and maybe I am just scarred by the chapter 700 and b*ruto but I really just hope he stays gone. I don’t want him to endure any other stupid plot choices. (Also, despite everything, I still do think his ending is fitting for his character) Especially with how rushed everything else is, I don’t think there is enough time for him to come back and not have it feel like appeasement to his fans. If he was meant to come back it should have had more set up, like something to do with saving Yuta from his body, but that was off screen with barely any consequences as well. And now there are like 2 chapters left lol. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a happy ending but at this point I don’t see what the story would gain or what the arc it seems like Gege intended for gojo would benefit from his return.

I’m probably worried over nothing, but rumors of sequel setup are making me wary lmao. I guess I just hope he gets a good mention or send off finally now that the fighting is over and that he won’t be involved in any weird continuations.

hi anon. well, i’m totally with you in this, i don’t want gojou to be back and face more stupid writing choices and i don’t think he will be back anyway, neither i get why people want that for him. back then, i did want his death to be dealt better and with better writing, but seeing now how this manga was handled, his death doesn’t sound that bad lol. and even if you don’t compare to the rest of the writing, his death was satisfying to himself at least (it’s the third post linked on the ask above btw), so do people just want to throw everything away? for what? is a character ending up alive more important than logic?

differently than you though, i’m so hopeless at this point that i don’t even expect a good mention for gojou… just hope he is buried and is able to rest in peace fr (jk i’m delusional i’m always hoping for satosugu buried together 🤞🏼🤞🏼).

i did not see any rumours about a sequel, but my fandom info is limited now that i can’t access twitter, most sources came from there, idk how much that could be taken seriously anyway, i have huge doubts about that being true, so let’s stay hopeful.

#ask #anonymous #jjk manga spoilers

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smoments · 10 months

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✧ part 6: memories of a stranger // a satosugu reincarnation au

chapter 6: the way it should have been

“It’s about this project that I’m technically supposed to be almost done with, right? But... I actually kind of procrastinated since usually inspiration eventually comes to me, and guess what…”

He grimaces at how weightless his words sound as Suguru admonishes him, his tone gentle.

“Satoru, you know that’s no good. You’ll get burned out if you always leave your work until the last minute.”

“Haha, right? But it’s fine now, because I can just ask you.”

Suguru blinks, and color rises to his face, his lips parting slightly. It’s the kind of thing Satoru would notice if he were looking directly at him - however, his inquisitive gaze is focused elsewhere, his eyes darting around the supposedly empty space.

“…um, one second, I suddenly feel judged.”

He narrows his eyes, scoping out the park for the source of this unpleasant energy, and finally notices the little boy sitting on the swing set on the opposite end of the mulch. Apparently sensing someone's attention on him, the kid looks up from his open book and meets his eyes, and Satoru gets a good look at his face (one that probably isn’t necessary given how distinguishing his hair is; it’s all black and spiky, like a porcupine is on his head or something). Satoru lifts his hands into a high-five position to make creepy claw-like gestures with his fingers, as if trying to draw him in.

“Woah, you’re that kid from before!“

“…”

“Are you a pedophile?”

Suguru chokes on air, and Satoru’s mouth drops open.

“Huh!?! How do you even- Wait, why just me? He’s here too!”

The child’s eyes flick between the two of them, and he gives Satoru a plain look that only fuels Suguru’s laughter. Satoru, who doesn't think he looks much like a pedophile at all, glares at him before pulling a face at the kid.

“Where’s your dad, anyway?”

He doesn’t mean it as a personal attack (he’s not that horrible of a person), but then he remembers his interaction with said father and reconsiders whether he might have been a little too on the mark.

“He isn’t here anymore.”

And though he’d been right, when he hears the finality with which the kid says these words, his mouth works faster than his brain.

“You kille-“

“Satoru!”

(Thankfully for him, Suguru is quicker than either one.)

The boy blinks at him like he’s stupid.

“No, he left.”

“…Oh. That’s rough.”

“It’s really not. Did you see him?”

Satoru knows that his careless words probably aren’t a complete bluff, but it also kind of bothers him that this little kid has to talk about his dad being a scumbag with such a stony look in his eyes, as though he’s completely removed from the situation.

And perhaps he reminds him a little bit of himself as a child; that flat stare and precocious way of speaking in particular (Shoko says he aged in reverse, since neither sound much like his current self).

But only a little bit.

Of course, he doesn’t voice any of this, because he doesn’t think it would translate over well into his general way of speaking. He goes for something a little less melodramatic.

“So, how’s that… living situation, kid? Megumi, right?”

Satoru actually likes instant ramen, himself, but hearing Megumi tell them that it’s what he had been planning for dinner with his sister out for the evening paints such a depressing picture that he really has no other choice than to do something about it.

Suguru seems slightly concerned, and he addresses his worries to Satoru in a low voice as they traverse a busy street with Megumi sandwiched between them.

“Satoru, it might not be a good idea to encourage him to follow strangers.”

Satoru completely glosses over his hushed tone, responding loudly and self-assuredly.

“Don’t worry, he’s old enough that he knows better. Plus, we’re not strangers! He’s met us before!”

Satoru reaches down and ruffles Megumi’s hair quickly enough that he can’t jerk away, finding that it’s surprisingly soft despite appearances - though it also springs right back into place, which he finds so hilarious that he has to resist the urge to mess it up again.

Megumi needlessly smooths his head down with one hand, looking annoyed but remaining silent, and Suguru winks at him conspiratorially.

“Smart kid. He’s taking us for food, after all.”

Megumi glances up at Suguru, a smile playing on his lips.

“Yeah.”

“Come on, you’re teaming up against me already?”

“Alright, kid, breasts or thighs? Satoru, stop laughing.”

“I’m not!”

“They also have wings… hmm. Do you like spicy food?”

Megumi shifts his face from Suguru to scrutinize the menu, his expression slightly less guarded.

“…I can eat spicy food.” He mumbles, looking away like he’s trying not to sound too proud of himself, and he looks so childlike in that moment, somehow- perhaps in that way that little kids do when they try to replicate adult mannerisms, but only succeed in emphasizing their naivety. This moment of innocence poses quite the contrast to his normal monotony - so much so that even Satoru stops snickering to listen.

“Yeah?” Suguru grins at him. “Me too, man. Wanna order the family meal, then? As Satoru has established, he doesn’t care what we get as long as it comes with biscuits.”

Satoru peers up at him through his dark sunglasses, his hands comfortably resting behind his head.

“Dude, have you had KFC biscuits?”

“Mm, they’re kind of dry.”

“Well, more for me, then. Whaddya think, Megumi?”

“…You can have them.”

“Yes!” He cheers, laying on the enthusiasm thick for the sake of the kid’s entertainment, and Megumi covers his mouth with his arm to stifle what might have been a giggle.

Satoru would be lying if he said it didn’t make his heart melt a little, even if he’s the one being laughed at - but Suguru is looking at him too, now, a crooked smile on his face, and he’s used to being the center of attention, but he feels suddenly embarrassed and announces that he’s going to go place the order. He notices his phone screen is lit up when he gets back to their table, and he slumps onto the seat as he checks it, throwing his arm over the back of the couch.

“Oh, it’s Shoko.”

His eyes widen as he scrolls through his new messages, and Suguru glances up, tilting his head curiously.

“Mm… they’re leaving, and… sh- crap. I left my stuff there.”

Megumi looks up from the menu, his tiny fingers curled around the edges of the booklet, which covers the lower half of his face completely.

“I don’t care if you swear.”

Satoru gasps, scandalized.

“You shouldn’t even know that word!”

“I’m seven, not a kid.”

“Oh, good point. Anyways, apparently Nanami dropped it off at my dorm. How nice! And… that’s weird. He was curious about what it was inspired by? Since when is he that nosy?”

“The one you had at lunch, with the betta fish? Hey, I was wondering that too.”

“Suguru, there is no thought process in art. You simply create from your heart.” He pats himself on the chest proudly for coming up with such a beautiful line and then adjusts his sunglasses with two fingers, sliding them up to sit at the top of his head as he thinks back to the painting - how whenever he stared at it for a second too long, a vague sense of discomfort stirred in his chest.

Before either of them can speak, Megumi pipes up.

“That’s our order number. That lady in the red shirt is calling it.”

He raises an eyebrow at the little boy, slightly relieved at the change in conversation, and nods in understanding.

“Wanna come help us pick it up?”

Satoru’s appetite has somewhat diminished by the time that they've successfully set up and are surveying the steaming spread laid out in front of them, but he’s never been one to say no to KFC biscuits, so he picks one off the tray anyway, the wax paper underneath crinkling with the movement.

“Megumi, I thought you could eat spicy food?” He teases as he watches him tear up over the chicken.

“I can. This isn’t even spicy. Tsumiki makes food way more spicy than this.”

Megumi coughs lightly, taking a break from the main course to sip from his glass of ice water, and Satoru rests his chin in a hand, a smirk on his lips. His gaze drifts to Suguru, dipping a fry into his ketchup and laughing at Megumi’s barely contained struggling, and his own features curve into a silly grin.

Maybe he could get used to this.

Satoru thinks that their little dinner ends all too quickly. He’s eaten with friends before, of course - laughing across the table, snatching everyone else’s fries after he polished off his own before even unwrapping his sandwich, and lounging around waiting for Nanami to finish his food long after the rest of them were done - but this is different. It’s quieter, and he’s never been one for quiet, but there’s this strange feeling of contentedness that surfaces in him every time he steals a glance at either of the two across from him.

Megumi has clearly taken a liking to Suguru, who turns out to be unsurprisingly skilled with children; charm comes easily to him, as Satoru knows all too well. Even when his smile makes that occasional shift from soft to vaguely nihilistic, he can’t take his eyes off of him, so it’s no surprise he’s able to pull everything off so well. Suguru has a way of speaking and carrying himself that makes him seem so open and dependable- though Satoru’s not sure whether he even realizes this himself and purposefully projects such energy, or if it’s just the way he is.

Either way, he thoroughly enjoys the hour they spend in that restaurant. He nibbles at his biscuit and sets the chicken (he can’t handle spice at all, but he doesn’t tell Megumi this) down between bites like he’s savoring the taste, but really he’s just grasping for excuses to stay there a little longer.

And Suguru humors him.

Megumi doesn’t seem to mind either; it’s a gradual shift over the course of their meal, but he goes from entirely closed off to almost talkative, in his own unique way; rather than asking incessant questions the way Satoru would expect a kid his age to, he offers his completely blunt and often unnervingly precocious opinions on each topic of discussion. His ability to warm up to strangers so quickly should probably be rather concerning to Satoru, but he finds it endearing more than anything.

Even as they stand outside the KFC with one of Megumi’s hands in each of theirs and discuss their next move, Satoru has to resist the urge to request a little more time with Suguru, a second more in his presence; ‘you don’t even have to talk to me, Suguru- if we’re just in the same room, that’s okay too- or if you want me to wait outside while you do what you need to do, I don’t mind that either-’ but the last shred of his self-respect keeps his lips pressed together, and he nods along to the other's words (which seem needlessly thorough given the weightlessness of the situation).

“Sorry about this, I have to cover someone’s shift on short notice. You sure you’re okay taking him home?”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry about it.” Satoru agrees before actually processing the request, but nothing about his plan of action changes once he understands what’s being asked of him.

It’s just that he needed a little more time to prepare himself for Suguru being gone- and as he watches him bending down to say goodbye to Megumi, his strong fingers grazing the top of the boy’s head, Satoru realizes they’ve never actually touched.

It shouldn’t matter to him. He shouldn’t want to know what Suguru’s hands might feel like. And he doesn’t.

His eyes don’t linger on that hand as Suguru rises to his full height again, just an inch or two shorter than Satoru himself.

He doesn’t part his lips in preparation to speak. He doesn’t want to tell him to stop, to wait.

He doesn’t just barely keep from reaching out for him as their eyes finally meet and that knee-weakening smile graces his lips, and he doesn’t have to force himself to respond appropriately.

Satoru lifts a hand in goodbye. He wills it not to tremble.

And as Suguru turns away, everything around him blurs, panic rising in his chest.

He’s left like this before.

He’s left him like this before, alone in the thick of a crowded street, permanently frozen in time. Permanently frozen in a state of mourning. He remembers the way passersby ignored him, kept a few feet of distance as they wended their way around his quivering form - like his heartbreak would rub off on them if they got too close. He hadn’t realized, then, that they had lives of their own; lives that they would continue living as though Satoru’s hadn’t just ended.

As though half of his very soul hadn’t just walked away from him without a single moment of hesitation, taking all of his better qualities along with him.

Something in him died that day, something that no amount of stupid jokes or other people or power could ever begin to repair. Even if there was something that could soothe the ache, even just for a second, he wouldn’t let it. To do so would be a betrayal.

He wanted to feel the sting. He wanted it to hurt. Why shouldn’t he be devastated? His best friend was gone, and he wasn’t even dead- he’d made the decision to leave Satoru all on his own. How could anyone expect him to be okay ever again?

Sometimes, he thought it didn’t hurt nearly enough. He’d curl up on the floor of Suguru’s dorm and stare dully at their pictures - tacked to the bulletin board on the wall - and replay those short moments, their one-sidedly heated argument, over and over like a record on loop until eventually and without fail, the sight of Suguru’s still, smiling face in those photos and the smell of his clothes and the memory of that day coerced the tears from his eyes.

It felt fake somehow, how far he would go to feel the pain - to remind himself that his right to happiness had left with Suguru.

He never looked back when he left. Not once. He's not the type to do something like that and then change his mind, because he's too thoughtful, too well rooted in his ways - Satoru knows that. It's something he always loved about him.

But this one time - just this once - he wanted to get on his knees and beg him to throw away his values, to come back to him, to forget everything else.

Because what could possibly be worth this?

He doesn’t look back now either, and suddenly, Satoru feels like he’s sinking under the weight of this memory, this parallel, confusion and distress surging through him. It’s just like before- it’s just like the last time- he’s going to leave him, again, and-

“Gojo, you’re squeezing my hand too tight.”

He snaps out of his stupor and stares down at Megumi, his eyes wide and vulnerable, and then quickly steps back, flexing his fingers loosely to shake them of their sudden stiffness.

“Oh… Sorry,” he forces, and Megumi tilts his head at him inquisitively.

“Are you going to take me home? I can go by myself.”

“What? No, then it’ll be my fault if you get kidnapped.”

“But Tsumiki might think you’re kidnapping me and then she’ll hit you with a frying pan.”

“Well, if Suguru finds out I let a seven-year-old go home by himself at night, he’ll do a lot worse to me than that.”

“No, he won’t. He likes you.” Megumi’s matter-of-fact tone catches him off guard at the wrong time, and he fights to keep his composure as he flashes him a grin and a thumbs up.

“Of course he does! Everybody loves me. Now, what’s your address again?”

When Satoru returns to his dorm, thankfully without any frying pan-related injuries, the first thing he notices is that his forgotten items have been placed neatly on his bed, side by side. The painting jumps out at him once again, and he breathes out a sigh, flipping it over with one hand so he doesn't have to look at it anymore before sprawling out against his white sheets.

“This is so..”

Something occurs to him, and he sits up, turning the canvas over once more to examine it carefully.

It is just as he thought.

He'd worried he was crazy, in all honesty, because nobody else had seen anything wrong with it. Not Shoko, not Nanami, not Suguru - but Satoru had been right to trust his instincts.

The fish swimming towards each other is not at all an issue - rather, it’s the realization that they’re doing so in a circle that knocks the air from Satoru’s lungs.

He's reminded of the nature of parallel lines when he stares down at the canvas, in the way that two separate objects can continue on forever without crossing paths. He thinks that this is sadder, though - because the fish are so clearly trying to find each other, so obviously chasing each others' tails. And as his eyes follow the circular ripple of water that he so painstakingly painted out, he realizes that he has trapped them inside it.

He has resigned them to a fate of eternal movement - one in which they will always be just shy of touching; just shy of coming face to face.

#jjk #satosugu #alternate universe #ao3 fanfic #coffee shop au #archive of our own #crying screaming throwing up #fanfiction #gojo satoru #geto suguru #geto x gojo #gojo x geto #satoru x suguru #suguru x satoru

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fondcrimes · 6 months

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your comment about not being able to move on from stsg - i get that so much ToT it’s frustrating sometimes i’m ngl

what drew you in to their relationship? what do you like or think about often? personally something i really love is how tragic their relationship is. it doesn’t seem like it would’ve ever worked out in the world they live in, but despite everything their feelings feelings stay alive for around a decade

oh wow, thank you for sending me this ask! i will take any chance to get on my soapbox abt satosugu hehe

okay the shippy feelings are quite simple to explain, the fantastical world of jjk is buttressed by a style of realism i rly enjoy, so like imagining stsg school days and puppy love is super fun and thrilling for me. i feel similarly abt their breakup, their story has like wong kar wai film potential which i looooveeee. i put my stsg playlist on repeat and imagine the stsg arthouse film of my dreams.....

anyway the thing about satosugu that initially drew me in was angst bc i love the whole "doomed by the narrative" type of ship, but it's their inevitability that fascinated me. their friendship deterioration was inevitable bc of their role as sorcerers in the world. the material fallout of their friendship is also inevitable, as its woven through the main plot with profundity and dare i say care. i like to shit on gege and i have beef w his writing decisions, but i appreciate the way he portrays morality/duty and kind of juxtaposes it with personality/natural inclinations/true beliefs. gojo and geto are powerful, unfortunate, doomed, but their different approaches to their duty as sorcerers (and gojo's response to geto's defection) are authentic.. they can't help but be human despite their power and strength. i resent fanon interpretations that simplify the moral complexity of gojo's position following geto's cult era, it's not like geto or gojo made their choices for each other in the sappy romantic way. i ship them romantically bc of the immense depth/narrative weight of their friendship... like i love how fraught it all is. things like gojo essentially letting geto fuck around for a decade is interesting and shows how deep their bond was and how much it meant to gojo, so much so that he couldn't stand on business and carry out his purpose for jujutsu society. also speaks to his moral dilemma, he doesn't exactly believe in what he's meant to do which leads him down a path of regret.

and then there's the basic stuff like gojo being this privileged, idolized kid with little to no socialization (no peers), i think its extremely precious and tender when young ppl sort of imprint on the first person they get along with. that's my interpretation of satosugu's friendship as first years.. as powerful and smart as gojo is he has these innate weaknesses due to his upbringing and disconnect from people so his response and heartbreak abt geto feels extremely realistic and humanizing. geto doesn't know he's gojo's soft spot...like their friendship was more emotionally and psychologically codependent than either of them realized which makes it even more hard-hitting that it dissolved as abruptly and traumatically as it did.

i think geto is one of the most sympathetic examples of "radicalization" so to speak, the fact that he injests curses and turns evil is a stroke of genius imo, the emotional reality of curses and resentment about ppls role in the world is one of jjks narrative successes. his pain is tangible and i think its meaningful that he has this deranged sort of wisdom following his mental break. there's no redemption at the end of his path and he knows it, he lets his convictions destroy him, its terrible and harrowing but its everything to me. his normie beginnings as a sorcerer (esp compared to gojo) also make this so interesting, like at some point he rly believed in a cause that gojo never really had illusions abt. the levels of betrayal.... gojo's feelings abt geto defecting are for lack of a better word relatable and believable. ideological extremism is something that more and more of us in the contemporary age are having to deal with due to amplified social deterioration and political polarization and i think more ppl relate to this somewhat ambiguous grief of friendships/connections in an emotionally hostile world. to me gojo deals with ambiguous loss on multiple levels: loss of his only best friend, loss of someone he had unresolved feelings for, loss of a voice of reason in his life, loss of his strongest emotional connection to the people he protects, as well as losing his way as the strongest sorcerer in jujutsu society.

gojo and geto's arcs both represent the inherent tragedy and fatalism that come with living in a broken, hurting world and trying to protect it, as well as who/what u might lose in the process. i'm no determinist irl, i don't believe in the greco-roman understanding of fate at all. i will say… it can be hard to distinguish fate from choice sometimes. but analyzing the philosophical elements of silly shounen manga is a super fun mental exercise :3

#asks #tldr: I'm neurodivergent #this went all over the place idk if i even answered it #satosugu #long post

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