Dominant Billie Eilish? 🙏 pretty please
The Games We Play; Billie Eilish/Fem!Reader
Content: 2nd POV. Established relationship, semi-toxic relationship, brief mentions of gaslight, implied infidelity, D/s elements, name calling ('slut'), degradation, teasing, strap-on sex, mentions of ass play, use of sex toys (vibrator).
"I've had enough of the games now, Y/n. You're starting to annoy me."
It was ironic to watch Billie sit at the table and sulk to herself as if she didn't get herself into this situation. These games that she claims to hate oh so much where the ones that she started and wanted to finish once she wasn't getting her way. You have just been with her for way too long not to be able to see her through and through. Billie hated the bitter taste of her own medicine, but she should've thought about that before she brushed you off when you asked about who that was on that instagram post.
You made her watch you flirt with a past fling all night. You could barely remember the lady's name when you two first bumped into her, but quickly she became valuable to you. All you had asked for was honesty about a post that was posted to tens of millions of people, but instead you were shut out. Billie brought this on herself, and it felt good to see her sitting there feeling sorry for you.
"Ooh, tell me more about your trip to Greece! I've been waiting to go, but sometimes it's hard when others won't cooperate with their schedules."
Billie was within earshot of the entire conversation and you didn't spare her one bit. You left her emotionally beaten and bruised every time you laid a hand on the body of someone you came close to being with years ago. Your attraction had faded greatly as you only had eyes for your girlfriend now, but Billie doesn't know that and at this moment anyone would think that the relationship was on its last legs. But just like you know Billie, she knows you too well for her own good. You were trying to make her feel the same way you did over an instagram post. Well, you had one the battle as your attempts to make Billie jealous was working, but Billie was well intentioned on winning the war.
Now as she confronts you about the only thing you can do is play dumb. You weren't going to give her the upper hand by outright admitting what you were doing. The way she dismissed you about posting photos of another girl damn near straddling her kept you up for days. Those 3 to 4 hours of sleep left you irritable and willing to do anything to get your point across. So in your eyes, you're not doing anything worse your girlfriend hasn't done.
"What are you talking about?" You asked her, cocking your head to the side and feigning innocence.
Normally your pout was endearing but right now Billie wanted to fuck it off your face. Still surrounded by strangers who could possibly hear your conversation, Billie gives a deep sigh and she hangs her head down. It was a sign of utter defeat to you.
"Y/n," she sighs before leaning in and whispering, "You really want to do this right now?"
Those simple words were a warning shot. Billie didn't have to say much else. She didn't have to explain that she knows you after being together for two years. She didn't have to explain that they've done this song and dance before and that it's getting stale. Both are committed and faithful to this relationship, but sometimes things get hazy and the relationship is tested. Billie knows she's in the wrong, but getting those words to come out of her mouth is like pulling teeth. You two should be passed this stage, especially as you get older together, but clearly both of you are wrong. When one of you acts up, the other feels like they have no choice but to retaliate and somehow you're always the one always having to retaliate.
You don't want to hear it from her. You don't want to sit in the car on the way home and hear her give you some holier-than-thou speech as if she's the mature one in the relationship. It was easier to talk to you like that when you were side by side and she didn't have to look you in the eyes and act like she didn't do what she did. Did it feel good to flirt with someone you're no longer interested in? No, that part didn't feel good, but being able to glance over and see Billie sulking while surrounded by happy, partying people, it was better than any high or shot of alcohol here tonight.
"What am I doing? I'm at a party that you're ruining the vibe because you want to sit there and feel sorry for yourself. Get up, go talk to your friends." You didn't have much else to say to her and she kept her mouth shut too. Billie had nothing to say. Have you succeeded?
Billie was never afraid to drag out an argument, even in a setting like this. There was the great texting fiasco of Summer 2023 that ended with you staying at your friend's place for the weekend. So she was uncharacteristically quiet now. And in a surprising move, she just smiled at you. Your faces were so close together you thought she was going to kiss, but instead she leaned back. She grabbed her glass filled with whatever she had and brought it to her lips. Never did she pull her eyes away from you and you felt your grip on the situation loosening. You don't know what it means for you, for tonight and for the future, but you stepped away from her. You turned your back to her and joined a group of mutual friends. The former fling you were flirting with was nowhere to be found, but it didn't matter anymore.
You felt Billie's eyes burning a hole right through you for the rest of the night. Despite the room being so loud, there was a ringing in your ears that dulled the sound of everything around you. You don't know how you were able to make it through the rest of the night acting like you usual self. The end of the night and car ride home were unbearable and equally silent. Billie's steady breathing was the only sound to fill your ears; so calm yet just as loud as the club's bass in your ears. The little battle you had earlier? It meant nothing now. Whatever victory you felt was replaced by the dread of worrying what was to come next. You expected a screaming match to take place as soon as the two of you crossed past that threshold into Billie's house. Instead Billie decided to do something she hasn't tried before. She was going to fuck the problem away.
Billie was pissed. The way she grabbed you, you don't think you've seen her so mad before. The two of you are no strangers to things getting a little rough, but there was so much more raw and animalistic about the way she touched you, the way she kissed you. Billie was gunning to win the war and she was going to disarm you in the best way she knew how. You don't understand how pissed she was seeing your flirt with an old fling like that, and what annoyed her the most is that you looked to actually be having a good time. She saw how you looked at this woman who has no name to her. You looked at her as if she meant something. Billie thought the photo she uploaded was to be expected from her and her friends. She thought you knew that sometimes one of them gets a little handsy but there was never any ill-intention behind it. Hell, you've seen it happen in front of your very eyes before and you didn't react. To her the difference between the post and what you did was that you intended to make the situation worse. You looked so into this woman, looking at her the same way you've looked at Billie before. Those eyes are only for her.
Billie wasn't nice or sweet tonight. She didn't tease you or suck on your tits for almost an hour like she usually loves to do. You were pushed onto the bed, face down ass up. You weren't able to see anything with your face in the covers. You had to guess what was happening based on the sounds around you. Billie was stealthy and quick, not giving you a second to adjust to what was going on. You felt something cool and wet hitting between your cheeks. You cursed yourself for not wearing underwear tonight, giving Billie easy access to both of your holes to do whatever she wanted with you. You felt something poke at your entrance and soon you were filled with 8 inches of thickness. The air was plucked right out of you as Billie pushed her strap all the way inside. She watched in awe how your arousal bursted through the seams. She pulled out and your juices had already completely covered her strap.
Billie pushes back into you after a few seconds. She started at a slow pace before gradually picking up speed, fucking you harder and faster. The residual anger from your little stunt tonight was fuleing her. When a girl acts up, sometimes she needs to be put in her place.
"You wanna tell me who that was tonight? Who was that girl, Y/n!"
You feel her grab a handful of your hair and she pulls your face out the bed. Her grip was tight enough to feel a prickly sensation on the edge of your scalp. You pulled your head back further to alleviate the pain. The question she asked you had completely slipped your mind as she filled your poor pussy with every inch of her strap. Billie didn't take so kindly to being ignored, so she asked you again. You could barely speak, but you tried your best.
"W-What girl?" You stutter through each thrust.
"Still playing dumb, huh?"
There was a tinge of playfulness in Billie's voice that could've you if you weren't getting fucked so hard. You were still trying to play the game she was built to beat you at. However, that girl doesn't matter to you and certainly she's irrelevant now. Your skin was flushed and sweaty. The sound of Billie's thighs meeting your ass reverberates in the room. How could you be thinking about some other woman when you're getting fucked within an inch of your life.
"If you wanted to be fucked like this baby all you had to do was laugh. You don't have to fight for my attention when you have it 24/7 sweetheart," Billie teased you with such a clear voice that amazed you she was able to concentrate on making you feel so small and fucking you skillfully. "You knew exactly what you were doing tonight, but you won't want to try that again after I'm done fucking this little pussy of yours."
Her words began to sound fuzzy as the tip of her strap kept agitating your sweet spot. You could barely keep yourself up, your arms giving away. The only thing keeping you up right now was Billie's tight grip on your hair. You were about to cum; dangerously close. All the tell-tale signs of your orgasm began firing off and that just happen to be the moment when Billie decided to pull out of you. You could whine and cry all you want, but Billie still pushed you off her strap. Your orgasm, the one you so desperately wanted, shuttered away as you sobbed into the sheets. You were surely a sight to take in. The strap rests against your ass, smearing your juices into your skin.
"Did you really think I was going to let you cum so fast? You really think you deserve that princess?"
Leave it to Billie to not give in so easily -- you should've seen this coming. You push yourself up on your palms until you're pushed back down onto the bed. Billie didn't have to use much force either which made her laugh at you. You were so weak and you hadn't even cum yet.
"Pick a number, baby."
You thought you were hearing her wrong. Did she just ask you to pick a fucking number?
"Pick a number. 1-3."
It was stupid to indulge in whatever game she was playing, but you lifted your head and opened your mouth to utter, "2." You don't know why you even answered.
"Hmm," Billie hums. It's hard to read such a small reaction.
The sound of the drawer opening happens again. You don't have to see to know she's grabbing from the bottom "special" drawer, where she got the strap-on from. There were a few other toys in there and you suspect that's where the game comes in at.
"It's too bad you didn't pick 1, but I guess you spared your little ass tonight."
You were just spread out so perfectly for the buttplug she hasn't used on you yet. Billie would've been able to see her reflection in the shiny metal as it slipped into your tightest hole. Stretching your ass out while fucking you would've ruined you, you haven't tried that out yet. She imagines that you would've been begging her for forgiveness and permission to cum. Even seeing it in her active imagination makes her heart skip a beat. But, fate has decided for her and she's going to make the most of it.
The wand you unintentionally picked had only been used about two or three times. It's vibrations were so strong, something you felt like you had to get use to. Only on it's lowest setting were you able to handle it. Something powered only by batteries yet it was so powerful you were seeing stars the first time you used it.
"Get up."
Billie gave you the command but then she was moving your body herself. She laid on the bed and signaled for you to get on top of her. You go to straddle her before she stops you.
"Uh-uh. Turn the other way."
She made you turn away from and in the direction of a mirror. For the first time since going out tonight, you got a glimpse of yourself. Your hair looked a mess and your makeup had smudged a lot. Spit was drying in the corner of your mouth. You should've been ashamed about how you look and how Billie was slutting you out, but it made your pussy drip on Billie's skin. One, two, three she felt the drops of your arousal on her bare skin. She groaned, showing a moment of weakness for a second. Right then she knew she had to get you on her strap. She lowered you down with one hand. Somehow her strap felt so much bigger when you were sinking down on it this way. The way the girth stretched out just felt different when you were any other position. Billie doesn't fuck you in reverse cowgirl often so you were willing to underestimate her ability to fuck you as hard as you need like this, but quickly you were proven wrong.
Your skin slapped together harder and your tits bounce with every thrust up into your swollen twat. You thought it was a lot to handle until you felt the vibrations from the wand against your pussy. The slew of moans that fell from your lips were louder than before.
"Good girl! Keep moaning for me baby, show me just how much you love being fucked like this. Only I can fuck you like this."
Words like this were meant to only affect you, to drive home the point that you were a slut for Billie and Billie only, but somehow she fueled her own desire. She was fucking up into you with reckless abandon. You were so close to losing your mind from being fucked like that from below while the vibrator was placed firmly against your swollen clit. You had no choice but to endure it as your eyes rolled in the back of your head.
"Whose pussy's this? Who does this pussy belong to, girl," the way she addressed you and the stinging grip on your hip made you spiral. Billie has flirted with degrading you more and more in bed, but tonight she spoke as if this came natural to her. She questioned as if something would happen if you didn't answer her. The worst thing she, or anyone else, could do to you at this moment is deny you of another sweet release. It's a miracle you're not squirting all over her strap that bullying its way into you. The head of her strap hits your cervix so deliciously. She questions you as if you're capable of speaking right now when the vibrator is sending you into orbit. You've officially been rendered stupid and unable to form words.
It takes a solid minute and everything inside of you to be able to muster up the energy to be able to answer you.
"Yours! Oh god it's yours!" You force out with a desperate cry. Your body is beginning to hunch over in weakness as she continues to pound you. You've never felt so pathetic in your life, unable to stand your ground, but never did failure feel so good. The stretch and the buzz was addicting and you were ready to let go of everything that's been pent up inside of your body.
The way you answer satisfies Billie, finally. The sobs of your pure devotion made relief wash over her. She's happy.
She doesn't stop her pounding until you're cumming and crying out loudly for her. Your toes curl as you come the hardest you have in a long, long time. Billie's grip on you was still harsh, painful even, causing the pain to mix with your everlasting pleasure. This is what might be the longest orgasm of your life and it comes after another stalemate in your relationship.
It was almost impossible to be able to come back to reality. You didn't even notice the vibrator had been turned off and discarded onto the bed until Billie stopped pumping into you completely. Satisfaction stirred deep in your hips as you sat there with her strap situated inside of you. Billie was holding you up with both hands now as if you would fall apart into a million pieces if she let go. And let go she never did.
Your heavy limbs find relief when you're laid against the bed. It feels like you're floating on a cloud compared to how it felt before. You were in a state of disbelief, asking yourself, 'did that shit really happen?'
You weren't going to regain your composure after that, and you weren't going to even try. Billie is already up and moving around, disappearing for a few minutes before she comes back with a wet towel waiting to clean you up. She pushes your legs apart and gently rubs the warm towel against your sensitive skin.
"I think you left a present over there."
She nods her head in the direction of the wet spot on the bed. Did you squirt? You don't even have a fucking clue if you did or not but you hide your face in your hands anyway.
"Oh god," you groan.
"We can always sleep in the other room."
"I don't think I can move, Bil."
You had a million and one questions, but you were utterly worn out and Billie's face was flushed pink from all the work she put in. You two have more to answer for in the morning, and a need to explain why you both acted up so much. Seeing you so vulnerable made the words 'I'm sorry, I was wrong' want to bubble up in Billie's throat. Instead she kisses the two sweet thighs she loves so much. The nonverbal apology will always come before remorseful words out of Billie's lips. Holding you until you fall asleep will stand in just for the night.
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Eddie and Nancy
Just giving my brain a break from the Secret Tunnel (aka the game show) story. I still have two chapters to get through and my brain needs a cool down.
I've seen a lot of headcanons that Eddie is the Wheeler children's older half brother because of how much they look like each other.
But may I propose instead: cousins.
Hear me out.
You have first born, Elizabeth. Absolute hippie child. All about that free love, sex, drugs, and rock and roll. She learns how to play guitar, falls in with the charming and cool, Al Munson. They plan to tour the country his beat up old truck. But before that can happen, Elizabeth gets pregnant with Eddie. So she marries Al.
Then you have Karen, the younger sister. Bright, demure, absolute golden child. She dyes her hair and blows out the curls to more like waves so she doesn't look like Elizabeth anymore.
She does what she was raised her whole life to do. Get married to a good boy so they can have good children and pay taxes and never do anything fun.
When Elizabeth dies, Karen refuses to go to the funeral, hates that her name is even in the obituary at all. Then three years later when Al is sent to prison, CPS calls her first.
She's the boy's aunt. She has a comfortable home, and bringing him in would barely dent their finances. But Karen refuses. She won't have that delinquent anywhere near her children.
So they go to Wayne. Wayne who really doesn't have the space or the money to take care a little boy almost teenager. But he looks into those big brown eyes and can't say no.
They keep apart until the murders in town start in Wayne's own god damn trailer. He keeps his mouth shut when Nancy comes up to him asking about Eddie. He would like to throw it in her face that he knows who she is and that he knows full well that Karen would throw a fucking fit if she found out where her daughter was. But he won't. It's not the girl's fault her mother is a bitch.
After Vecna (and Eddie NOT dying) Nancy is sent to the attic to see if she can find some of Mike's old things to donate as a lot of Nancy's went to Holly. She finds an old trunk and though locked it comes apart in her hands. In it she finds dozens of pictures of her mom with beautiful girl with flying dark brown curls and sparkling eyes.
She smiles as she reminds her of Eddie.
Her mother calls out for her to hurry and slips one of the pictures in her back jeans pocket. Nancy closes the trunk and hurries back to her mother.
Then because Nancy can't leave a mystery well enough alone, she goes digging. All while Eddie and Max are in a coma, Nancy works on her mystery.
She finds her answer in the most unlikely of places. Joyce Byers's year book. She had it out showing her boys the outrageous hair styles they had in her day.
There two rows down from Lawrence Byers is an Elizabeth Childress. She's got ribbons in her hair and smiling brightly at camera. So full of life.
Childress.
She closes her eyes. There is no doubt this is her mother's sister. A sister Nancy never knew anything about.
She points her out to Joyce. "Oh, I remember her. Such a sweet girl. It's really too bad she fell in with that Munson boy. Or rather the wrong Munson boy."
She flips the pages and on the same row as her, is Wayne Munson staring up at her. So happy and free. The Vietnam would too soon take that from him. "That's Wayne. Such a good boy. Elizabeth would have thrived with him. But Wayne was shy and more interested in getting good grades than girls."
Joyce flips back to the seniors with Jim and Lonnie and began searching for the M's. "There." She pointed at another boy. Alan Munson. "He was trouble from the moment he was born. But he had a motorcycle and a leather jacket. Lizzy fell hard. They got married right out of high school, I heard."
Jonathan and Nancy share a look of shock.
"What happened to her?" Jonathan asks.
"Cancer," Joyce says sadly, "poor thing."
Armed with her knowledge and a borrowed yearbook, Nancy marches right up to her mother and slams the yearbook in front of her. The picture Nancy took from the attic serves as bookmark and she shoves both at her mother.
There is no denying it now. All the proof is right there in black and white.
"This is why you didn't want to join the D&D club my freshman year, isn't it? Because it was Eddie's club?"
Karen buries her head in her hands. And the truth just starts spilling out.
"And that boy is just like his father!" Karen cries. "He might have not have killed those kids but he was a drug dealer."
"To keep the lights on his trailer!" Nancy yells back. "If you and Dad had taken him in maybe he wouldn't have turned out the way he did. Maybe he be a better person."
"Or maybe he would have dragged you other children with him!"
"If you really thought that Mike wouldn't have been allow in Hellfire either!"
It's at this point Mike walks in and suddenly Karen is caught.
She breaks down and explains that Eddie had helped her with her car right before Mike started high school. So as a way to return the favor she let Mike join.
Nancy heads to the hospital and manages to get into see Eddie.
Wayne tells her only family is allowed to see him and Nancy smiles.
She knows.
Then Eddie wakes up, falls for Steve, the whole party teases Steve about keeping it in the family and Karen gets her head out of her ass and everyone lives happily ever after.
The end.
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Let's Get Going!
Firstly, many thanks to @burningpoisonroaster for running the 18th edition of the AI Creator Challenge. It's not easy to run, so I really appreciate @burningpoisonroaster for stepping up this time.
Special thanks also go to @dryndelicate and @danni-gurrl who helped get this challenge off the ground. It's gone from a little game with three creators to a fun competition where multiple talented artists participate. I'd also like to thank everyone who has entered previous themes - I'm always astonished at the quality of the artwork. As always, if you want to see previous entries, click here.
Anyway, on to my entry. As some of you may know, I generally only post single images or videos, so doing multiple images and stories like this definitely pushes me out of my comfort zone!
From the earliest days of my childhood, I've been captivated by the vast expanse of the cosmos and humanity's relentless pursuit to explore it. The grainy black-and-white footage of the Apollo 11 moon landing, though it occurred long before my time, never failed to fill me with awe. It represented not just a "giant leap for mankind," but a testament to human ingenuity, courage, and our innate desire to push beyond known frontiers.
As I grew older, my fascination with space travel only intensified. I marveled at the rapid advancements in technology that allowed us to venture further into the unknown. The Space Shuttle program, the International Space Station, and the myriad of robotic explorers sent to distant planets and moons each marked significant milestones in our cosmic journey. These achievements transformed space travel from the stuff of science fiction into tangible reality, bridging the gap between imagination and possibility.
Today, as we stand on the cusp of a new era in space exploration, the progress we've made is nothing short of astounding. Private companies are opening up access to space like never before, reusable rockets are becoming the norm, and ambitious plans for lunar bases and Mars missions are taking shape. The dreams that once seemed impossibly distant are now within our grasp. As I reflect on the trajectory of space travel, from those first tentative steps on lunar soil to our current bold strides towards becoming a multi-planetary species, I'm filled with an overwhelming sense of wonder and optimism for the journey we are all on. And what could be a grander journey than the exploration of space?
@dryndelicate @danni-gurrl @gigiprinceton @ai-satin-chic
@softsmooth69 @alyssa-ai @fluffyfaza @synth-ai
@mohairmaster @mistressmaurahypno @hollyjumper
@andysfantasie @milunessence @anderii @bumani
@burningpoisonroaster
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Ok y'know what I'm going to be cringe and talk abt my nuggets more even tho I assume no one who follows me knows anything abt lob corp lol
Anyways first up look at my second ever nugget, Loki. He and Juliet are extremely close friends and were close since long before lob corp. The two went to college together and both took great interest in lob corp when it popped up, and he and Juliet are both deeply invested in their work there and fully believe in the cause. Loki primarily works with the information team, with him doing a lot of research work early on, and managing a lot of paperwork and general company information as he continued to work there. He and Juliet still interact fairly often as she is a head of the control team, and while they are very friendly with eachother they still very much use their time together seriously. Loki generally comes across as very grumpy and impatient, and he absolutely hates interacting with most of his coworkers. He values his time greatly, and sees most interactions outside of ones required for his work as a waste of time. He still values his time with Juliet greatly though, and while he will get very pissy when Juliet calls him her baby brother, he does indeed see her as a sister, and she might be the only thing he cares abt more than his work.
Next up is my 3rd nugget, London. He's a depressed middle aged woman man who forced himself to stop caring abt those around him after he was forced to give up his baby daughter in his youth. Nowadays he's mostly just trying to get by, and lob corp happened to pay well. He is generally not well liked by basically everyone, with lower ranking employees seeing him as cold and rude, and higher ranking ones seeing him as lazy and annoying. He is however really good at his job, which tends to catch most ppl off guard at first considering how little he seems to care abt everything. Underneath it all he's mostly just extremely depressed and going through the motions, he's just been balancing on thin margins for years now and has gotten the hang of surviving in a world that has been trying to tear him apart for years.
To continue going in chronological order despite my best instincts next we have my girl Yui. She's one of my less developed ones despite her being an oldie, but I still have some ideas for her. She's spent most of her time in the information team, and for most of time at lob corp she's actually had a much less hands on job and got very used to seeing the suffering around her as statistics and numbers. She eventually began to do more abnormality work and was moved to safety, but even as she came face to face with real death more she would still continue to fall back on seeing these events as numbers, and while she does do her best to try to help ppl where she can, she is generally rly distant and hard to connect to a lot of the time, especially as she tends to play devil's advocate for the higher ups, as trying to see the best in everyone won't come across well when those ppl are putting other ppl through hell every day.
Alright everyone we're back to the guy's I actually care abt cheer and clap for my girl Maxy right now. I've already talked abt her a lil bit, but she's another favorite child even though she's an absolute bastard in game who loves to suck at her job. Maxy is a generally very miserable person, with her feeling trapped in her circumstances and hating the feeling of being apathetic to the constant death surrounding her. When she first started working here however, she did have someone she somewhat cared abt. She had a mentor figure of sorts, a fairly anxious woman around her age, but still one that managed to bring some sense of comfort and guidance as she found her footing. Alas tho, this mentor of hers would end up dying on the job (I didn't feel like resetting the day so rip) and that was the beginning of Maxy's endless spiral. Pretty early on she was moved to safety, and she absolutely fucking hates it there, she hates how useless the department feels, and she hates that she feels more hatred at her stupid boss than she feels anything when her coworkers die. London actually used to work in security, and the two actually worked quite closely together for a long time. They had a very strained relationship however, as Maxy slowly began to start giving a shit abt London over time, a fact that she absolutely hated as she could tell London didn't give a shit abt her. Eventually London was transferred to records, and Maxy was left behind in safety to keep being sad all the time. She does have her terrible terrible girlfriend of course, and while Maxy doesn't feel she deserves Yuri's love, Yuri is also the main reason Maxy pushes forward despite everything, as just seeing Yuri smile makes it all feel worth it to her.
Ok ok last one for now because I need to sleep so say hi Daniel. He's another one that doesn't have a lot going on, he was simply a single dad who wanted a good job to support his adopted teenage daughter. He didn't exactly find that, but he does generally like his job. Now he is a leader in the training department, so it's not exactly like he has to deal with the worst of what this place has to offer, so his general complacency makes some amount of sense. He is also generally pretty good at helping out with morale in newer recruits, and he is generally seen as kind if a bit goofy at times. Most of those who've been around longer aren't as moved by his attempts to keep morale up however, as once you've been around long enough it becomes clear as day he's only made it this far out of pure luck. He can't truly help others get to where he is like he tries to because of that, and while part of him is aware of that, he also knows he can't afford to fully admit that to himself.
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fill out the angst application below.
basics
> NAME - Seraphina Fair
> AGE - 21 (24 in Rebirth and Genshin verses)
> SPECIES - Human (elemental phoenix/human hybrid, unknown to her)
bold what applies (italicize what somewhat applies)
drinker ; smoker ; done/does drugs ; knows what a broken heart feels like ; has committed a crime ; suffers a physical disability ; suffers a mental disorder ; has experienced severe trauma
details
> BIGGEST FEAR - Dying without making any kind of difference or change in the world. Although Sera isn’t clueless and knows ‘changing the world’ is very much unlikely to happen in her lifetime, no matter how much she tries for it and would love to see it herself, it terrifies her to die without having left even the tiniest of impacts - To know she was nothing more than a drop of water into a vast sea, unable to change anything for anyone, or even help anyone. There’s so much to change, so many people who need help in a world so designed to beat them down, the thought of leaving them without doing everything she can... That’s genuinely a nightmare in itself to her.
On the same level is losing her family and loved ones; her husband is frequently involved in dangerous work, they have kids she doesn’t doubt are always in danger due to having them for parents, her brother is oftentimes in the line of fire for his own work, her friends also have dangerous jobs... All it takes is one slip, and that, too, is a nightmare that often plagues her when she least expects it.
> RECURRING NIGHTMARE - Sera tends to relive her various traumas in her nightmares at least two or three times a week. If she’s lucky enough to not have a nightmare about her trauma, it’s one involving losing her family or being captured by people who want to do them/her harm, or, on rarer occasions, being lost in absolute darkness with no way out, no light, and no body to hear her scream. Thankfully, these nightmares slow to one to two times a week when she’s able to sleep next to her husband, or when her brother is visiting,but they’ve never stopped completely.
> SOMETHING YOU MISS - Her lost siblings, Ami and Takeru, the childhood she never had, and several people she met during her travels she, unfortunately, no longer has contact with. Friends she hasn’t seen in long periods also fall under this category, as well as her brother, Thoma, when she’s unable to see him due to the (physical) distance between them.
> BIGGEST REGRET - Not knowing anything as a child, and being unable to save Ami and Takeru. Although she had no idea what was really going on until shortly before their passing, when they told her as much themselves, Sera has never stopped regretting she hadn’t done things differently, or tried everything in her power to save them, somehow. This regret is doubled when she discovers Thoma is her brother rather than her cousin, both having been raised to believe the later due to his being given up to their aunt and uncle, and realizes they never questioned their obvious similarities as children, missing out on the bond they now share up to this point.
She also heavily regrets when she’s unable (or inable) to help others, and walking away, for any reason, or being unable to stop someone’s pain even long enough to bring them the tiniest of smiles, constantly weighs on her. Logically, she knows there are some things she just can’t do, change, or handle, but it still hits her hard, and lingers.
> A SECRET - Sera is, at her core, an elemental phoenix - Specifically a snow phoenix - who has slowly assumed human form over her multiple lives and rebirths. At this point, only her core is an elemental being; She’s long since shifted fully into a human and is technically a human past this; Aria, the snow phoenix, has buried herself down deep and, for all intents and purposes, ‘gone to sleep’ in her attempt to be a human. This has resulted in the ‘frozen lake’ Sera often feels/mentions sits within her and knows there’s a great deal of something under, and occasionally can access a bit of ‘water’ from from the occasional crack in its surface, but can never break through - The ice is too thick by her own unconscious doing in every lifetime, this one being no different, and subconsciously, she knows breaking the ice would end her life... Even if she has no idea she is Aria, or that the phoenixes ever exist/existed, or that her brother, Thoma, is Aria’s twin, the fire phoenix Aelius, tucked away in him much the same and born first due to their rebirth cycles falling out of sync, turning the twins into ‘older brother and little sister’ instead.
pick one
fire or water
mother or father neither-
to hurt or be hurt
eerie or gory
unrequited love or no love
TAGGED BY: It’s been in my drafts so long I CAN’T REMEMBER-
TAGGING: @waltzofphoenix, @yoroiis, Snag it! <3
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