#but there is a reason we went on the meta world tour and got into the disney family gallery

[aurosoulart]

I feel like I’ve been posting a ton lately (because there’s a lot goin on!!!!) but FOR THOSE OF YOU WITH TWITTER: Figmin XR just published our AWE competition video!!!

❗ PLEASE like/retweet it if you want to help us with our company mission of using AR (augmented reality) to reduce material waste. ❗

we’re an indie team of 4 people competing against large companies, so we’re relying pretty much entirely on word of mouth to spread the word about what we’re doing. we’re also competing against the AI and web3 (crypto) crowd, which are unfortunately still big in the tech industry

we’re competing in multiple award categories at AWE and will be relying on public votes, so literally any and all visibility helps us immensely right now. 🙏

I’ll be posting the video to @figminxr later, so don’t stress if you’re not on twitter. I’ll be sharing more info about the competition in the post as well!

[twiexmachina]

I don’t know whether it’s because Disco Elysium’s lore is so well constructed and detailed while also hiding many critical details in vague places, because I’m an American with no sense of greater history (or minor history, for that matter), because I’m bad with numbers and dates mean nothing, or i just consistently missed that The RCM was founded in the ‘20s but…it’s fucking wild that the RCM was founded in the ‘20s.

Jean is older than the RCM, but at least he would have started forming memories around the time it was founded, but Kim and Harry’s entire childhood just. Had no stable law enforcement. Joyce’s description of the ‘20s “hell and urban warfare, but better than the teens!”…Kim and Harry turned ten in that decade. Their childhood was that decade.

Harry and Kim turned twenty in ‘27 and ‘28, respectively. They were teenagers when there was a nuclear meltdown, when the community banned together to clean up that, when the community came together to try to end the violence that has been a constant since the Revolution. The cleanup failed, but the RCM didn’t (technically) (it did what it wanted to do) (what it needed to do at the time).  When they were teens, when their political ideologies would be starting to solidify, the citizens of Revachol did what the Coalition could not or would not do.

Kim joined the RCM at twenty-three, in ‘32. Even if we are incredibly generous with time, the RCM would not be anywhere close to ten years old, maybe it’d be five.  Harry joined a year later, at Dora’s idealistic prompting and like...who can blame her?  I mean, I’d totally jump on board with “community led law enforcement with communist roots” and I don’t even live in a city, let alone a city like Revachol. 

I’ve lost the thread of where I was going with this.  Just.  The idea that RCM is that young, it’s just a baby of an institution, that the protagonists are significantly older than the system they’re a part of...it’s fascinating.  I’m just shaking this snowglobe and watching everything settle.

[unholyhelbig]

Title: Centerfold [Pt.2]

Ship: Beca Mitchell/ Chloe Beale

(Read Part one here)

Beca Mitchell’s phone was a box of constant communication. She had her emails redirected so that she could feel every single time she needed to address something at the office, even if she was there and the soft pinging culminated in the very screen she stared at. She had a multitude of contacts and would video chat with the team in Italy, and sometimes L.A.

So, what she knew deep down, was that it was impossible for her not to look at her phone all day. Physically she had to check the notifications to keep her world running. Emily intercepted most of them, keeping her deep stare on her own screen before glancing up at her boss every couple of minutes. They were both on edge and Beca didn’t much appreciate the tension that sparked between them.

She held her breathe each time a new ping sounded off until eventually that lull of anxiety was hushed to a dull ache in the pit of her chest. She went through her morning meets and a new presentation to her team about how their coding for a new watch wasn’t up to parr- they had a few days to fix it before it dropped, and the CEO made sure she knew that.

When the notification from Chloe did finally come through, Beca almost didn’t’ notice. She registered the pink of the logo that slowly shifted to a deep purple. But the name? Oh, the name she hadn’t clocked for a few seconds after that. And even then, Chloe Beale? Her Chloe, actually responded.

Beca lilted the computer screen and frantically looked up at Emily, who was already at her door. She didn’t bother to knock. Instead, she situated the office and closed the blinds and very coolly, but not so coolly, pressed her back against the wood and breathed.

“Dude,” Beca said.

“I know,” Emily said “Did you read it?”

She hadn’t read it. She hadn’t even thought to read it because her mind got stuck behind the massive roadblock that was Chloe Beale and her stupid pun username. She opened the application and hesitated over the message icon. She was supposed to be playing it hard to get like she didn’t’ care if she even got a response. But she did care and apparently so did her assistant because she was right behind her, blindly gawking like her halo fell into her eyes and blinded her from right and wrong.

“If I click this she’ll see that I read it and then there’s no going back.”

“You don’t want to go back, do you?”

“You told me to keep her guessing,”

“Truthfully, I didn’t think you’d even get a response.” Emily shrugged sheepishly “Figured you would forget about it in a few days and… open it.”

Beca frowned but hovered the mouse over the message. She wanted to close her eyes but felt like she was watching a car accident, complete with the red and blue flashing lights and the metallic crunch of metal. Either way, she couldn't avert her stare. She didn’t want to.

Chloe: Hey stranger. I must admit that I was never expecting to hear from you again, big shot manager. I’ve kept my tabs on you… New York is my home, so if you’re serious about coffee, so am I.

Her breath caught in her throat. Chloe Fucking Beale had said yes. Her childhood love had agreed to coffee that neither of them could probably stomach. Chloe Fucking Beale who was a playboy model with more than a million Instagram followers, and Chloe Fucking Beale who she was pretty sure she still loved.

There had been other people, men, and women that she had thought she fell for. She folded into soft touches and stronger commands. She was happy for months at a time and on one rare occasion a full year with a man who ran his own tours of the city. But none of those relationships had ever been like the one she had with Chloe.

Beca pulled in a long breath that filled her lungs with stale coffee and copy paper. She tilted her lid and looked to Emily because she was the expert. And Beca was frozen. That same cold excitement filled her and it also rocked her ever-loving shit. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t think.

Emily looked at the darkened screen, then at her boss, then back at the screen before lunging forward and typing back a reply. Perfect. Are you free this Saturday?

It turns out that Chloe was free that Saturday and if she wasn’t, she didn’t’ say a word and quietly cleared her schedule. The day was quickly approaching and Beca really wanted to know why the New York Branch put her in charge of everything when she could barely figure out what to wear to a simple cup of coffee.

This felt more like a simple cup of coffee.

Emily eventually got tired of the barrage of pictures she was getting and took a cab to Beca’s apartment an hour before the actual date. They settled on black jeans and a blue button-down that Emily pulled closer to her chest for extra measure because according to her “You look good in anything and Chloe won’t be able to make eye contact with you.”

Then she was on a subway that smelled like stale snow and hot morning breath. They picked a small shop downtown that not many people knew about. It was a feat in the city to find a place that wasn’t packed like a sardine can and Beca trusted Chloe’s judgment tenfold.

Beca got there first, and her palms were sweating despite the cool atmosphere that swept through the little shop each time the door opened. It was a meta cross between a thrifted bookstore and a café. People sat and ate and read and the scent of what Beca imagined old magic to be, mingled well with coffee grinds and fresh pastries.

She ordered a simple black americano and settled by the front window, the glass fogged from a warm contrast with the cold of the busy street and curved lettering faced the patrons. There was a simple logo and one barista behind the counter. She chose a random book and pretended to read, but only skimmed the same paragraph over and over again.

Her main focus was on the door and the bell that chimed each time it was opened. One of those times, after a businessman and a hipster kid hugging his laptop close to his chest, it was Chloe. Soft and vibrant compared to the rest of the dim academic setting.

Her hair was pulled behind her ears and a pair of golden framed glasses rested on her nose. She had aged like wine and the wind that blew in behind her carried the sweet scent of southern peaches through the front door. She wore a white sweater with a plaid peacoat and high wasted jeans, and Beca knew she was staring.

Everyone was, they couldn’t’ help it. She overtook the room with a warm and sparked presence. If anyone recognized her they didn’t’ say a thing, out of saving their own face or because the girl in the centerfold of the latest playboy was wildly different than the one standing in front of her. This… this was her Chloe.

She didn’t’ know if she could hug Chloe, if touching was okay, but as she stood to greet her, she was pulled into the warmth of the woman. She was wrapped in overwhelming touch and emotion and she buried her nose into Chloe’s hair as they held onto each other, not quite willing to let go of the familiarity before realizing that it was inappropriate not to.

“Wow,” Chloe ran her hands down Beca’s arms, stopping at her elbows “You haven’t aged a day, have you?”

“It’s the lighting in here, I think it’s one step up from basement overhead.”

Chloe laughed and it was a magical sound. The only thing more intoxicating was her smile, which never seemed to leave her lips as she ordered her own drink, something loaded with sugar and caramel, and leaned forward across the table to get a better look at her date.

Beca sipped her coffee and quirked an eyebrow “What?”

“I haven’t seen you in ten years, I think it’s perfectly acceptable for me to study you.”

“There’ll be plenty of time for that,” She tested “What have you been up to all these years?”

Chloe leaned back in her seat and cupped her mug. It was a russet red and steam rose from the pale liquid that soaked inside. There was a sickeningly sweet odor to it and part of Beca regretted ordering nothing but a black coffee. It seemed like a disservice to the atmosphere of the shop.

“Oh, a bunch of stuff here and there. I used to be based out of LA, I did a lot of acting there. Little stuff like soap operas and a couple of commercials. It wasn’t for me, though so I moved here to pursue modeling and it’s been going well. Really well.”

Beca didn’t’ want to mention the playboy magazine or the curve of Chloe’s legs and the way her skin shown under the bright summer sun. She never returned it to Jason because he never asked for it back. It was an unspoken solidarity between the two.

“That’s amazing,” Beca smiled, feeling excitement in her chest “Anything I would recognize?”

Chloe hummed into her drink “Mm, maybe a few things. It depends on how you feel about Playboy. I never thought you were much of a reader.”

Beca looked down dejectedly at the old spined book to her right. It was true, she hadn’t read the Catcher in the Rye and she barely got through the introduction paragraph because of the nerves and the heartbeat that beat so strongly against the inside of her wrist right now.

“I’m not usually. But I do enjoy looking at the pictures.” Beca flicked her stare back towards the woman across from her “Though, that’s not the reason I reached out to you.”

“Truth is, I’ve always wanted to message you, but you looked like you were doing so well. Like you were so happy. I didn’t want to throw you off or seem like I was chasing something that we used to have.” She said, “So I waited.”

It was Beca’s turn to laugh, “I felt the same exact way. We’re both pretty stupid, then huh? Waiting like this for something we knew… for something we knew we wanted.”

Chloe smiled wider and clinked her mug against Beca’s yellow one, not spilling any of the mostly full drink. “To being stupid. And getting to know each other all over again.”

And that’s exactly what they did. They sat and talked until they were the only two in the coffee shop and Beca even dared to kiss Chloe when they got to the subway platform.  She tasted like caramel and sunshine if such a thing was even possible.

But it was because she had found Chloe. Centerfold Chloe. High school Chloe, and most importantly, her Chloe.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

I’m really intrigued by Rayla’s moonshadow assassin peers. I especially am interested in Andromeda because I think she is the only other girl in the group? Do you have any headcanons in how these teen/young adult assassins interacted? Do you think Rayla isolated herself from them because she was always iffy about taking a life? Also TDP finally colored their map and I know you live maps, find any new cool stuff? I especially love how there’s a frozen sea north and a spinning sea south, imagine the powerful Magic’s that channeled to make them.

Okay, so I jumped straight to the map, did 80% of it, and wandered away for a few weeks. I apologize, anon. Let’s get this going again:

I’ve got a few headcanons on the Moonshadow assassins! It seems likely that they hang out mostly with each other, when they hang out, to reinforce their teambuilding and to give them some socialization, since assassins tend to keep others at arm’s length. So I kinda figure they tend to roam as a pack on their evenings out in the village, if they’re not married to a non-assassin like Runaan is.

I think that could be part of the reason that Rayla might not have hung out with the others as much, too: Runaan wanted to be either training or at home with Ethari, so Rayla probably spent a lot of time doing those things just because he did them. And when Runaan was doing more serious training or missions, that’s when Rayla had her free time to run around the forest and make adoraburr friends. 

Runaan could’ve probably insisted that she do something more assassiny with her free time. Shadow an assassin, do more studying, practice certain prescribed skills on her own. But he didn’t. He let her play. Soft assassin is soft!

Listen, anon, I have a fun headcanon for you about Andromeda--and by fun, I mean it’s really angsty half a second after you start thinking about it. Ready? 

What if: Andromeda is Runaan’s half-sister. If they’re both Lujanne’s children by different assassin dads who kept dying in battle, but a Moon mage needs an assassin leader partner to defend Xadia with, and Lujanne knew her son Runaan wasn’t old enough to lead yet, so she burned through three or more husbands protecting him until Runaan was well trained enough to lead the assassins himself and had fallen in love with a mage who adored him and would be his partner in her place.

 Andromeda looks a fair bit like Lujanne, too:

Along with Runaan, they all have long hair, side tails bound in silver cuffs, and some form of braids. Andromeda’s hair is sectioned in front similarly to Runaan’s. Her accent sounds more British than Scottish, though she only has the one line: My eyes for truth. And Lujanne and Andromeda are the only two Moonshadow elves we’ve met who have medium blue horns, while Runaan’s are dark blue. Almost everyone else’s horns have purple or pink as their base color.

But then, see, Andromeda went on Runaan’s mission, and she died. Her spirit was the most aggressive in TTM, usually closest to Rayla with her sword out, as if she hated Rayla the most. If she had a vested family interest in Runaan’s mission succeeding, and then it went pear-shaped because of Rayla, that would make sense.

No matter if she’s related to Runaan or not, she’s wearing horn cuffs, so she was in a dedicated relationship of some kind, and that’s so sad. Someone’s missing her the way Ethari’s missing Runaan. :’((((

Anyway, it’s just a headcanon, but since you asked, there ya go.

Okay, on to my thoughts on the map, of which I have a normal and healthy amount:

The Map Border: 

Everyone doodles in the borders. I love to see what they put there.

Starting in the upper left and going counter-clockwise, the five human crowns are cool

Cornucopia swirls center left look like an homage to Cabbage Man from ATLA

Bait is staring at Evenere. his home? Or maybe he just wants to eat the dragonfly on its logo

Human defender has a beard. Hairagorn. He's very heavily armored but has no helmet. Long hair is braided to rest on front of shoulder, like the blond elf in the painting at the Moon Nexus. Old timey hairstyle?

He’s defending Katolis Castle specifically. I wonder if the little white building is kinda random or if it’s supposed to represent the Banther Lodge. Nah, I have a better guess: that’s where Viren grew up

The crack in the map looks meta. It's been repaired somewhat. Makes me wonder if it's an in-world map, whose, who ripped it, and who fixed it. Sir Phineas Kurst seems like the kind of guy to almost shred his really cool map

The star behind Zym's egg has seven points

The two ships on the southern waters are western and eastern respectively. Tidebound elves from Singapore? Jack Sparrow would be proud

There is land just south of the Dragontail, wonder what’s there?

The leaves around the human figure are small and numerous while the Moonshadow elf has fewer but bigger leaves

The elf is standing in the way of one of the six leaves growing out of the rune rose and that leaf's curly tip seems to have been replaced with a curl of the elf's very long hair

The human pose is more offense and the elf pose is more defense. But the elf has two swords, and one has some wicked hooks in it.

Elf has 4 fingers instead of 3 so whether it’s in-universe or meta, they were drawn by a human :DDD

The elf's braid winds around their horn and I think that's clever

High collar shirt under protective layer, bracers and elbow gloves, bare biceps, complex shoulder getup, ornate hair that's butt long and partly braided, two long slightly curving swords... horn cuffs too. This is a Moonshadow assassin in the same gear Runaan's got, poised to defend the Xadian half of the map as the human is poised to defend his side

The rune rose isn't a compass. It has a two sided pointer and six primal runes. Just decorative I guess. ;)

More lettuces on right center.

Maybe a portaling caterpillar on the center knot? Little bug pal, I see you

“The Five Human Kingdoms” lettered in red, “Xadia” in blue. Giving me Stratego flashbacks. Even the flowers on their banners are color coded

Banners in the corners are similar but Xadia has more fluttery tips

Thunder drawn all attacky top center, does he have anything to do with the Frozen Sea being frozen?

Compass rose under Thunder’s wing

Dick island near the compass. Well, Duren is the breadbasket of the human lands. A most excellent cartography joke! 10/10 would chortle wholesomely again

The Human Kingdoms:

Neolandia

Capital Eboreus seems to be a lake city below a mountain and I'm here for all the Lake Town refs. 

It's also the eye of the elephant shape

Not a lot of trees, mostly grasses or desert. Only borders Duren across a couple rivers/estuaries/sea channels

Heart shaped island next to elephant trunk

Land generally broken into several sections by sea/rivers 

If it’s rivers, they seem to generate from the capital’s lake and flow in several directions. And they say there’s no magic left in the western lands! ;)

But if there was exactly one source of freshwater in a desert land, it makes sense that you’d find a way, magical or mechanical, to spread that lifegiving water in as many directions as possible so your people can thrive so kudos to Neolandia’s ancestors/Tidebound elves/whoever managed that, it’s brilliant

I can and will make up explanations for anything on a map. I adore worldbuilding

Del Bar

Two named locations. Since Del Bar’s national symbol is a serpent, I guess Serpentongue is the capital.

Hinterpeak is a sweet name. Looks like Helm's Deep with that retaining wall. What’s it for? Are there dwarves in this land? Is it an Earthblood stronghold? Maybe it’s like the Mines of Moria, and the Earthbloods were chased out and/or killed inside and now it’s full of nasty orcses but someone left a MacGuffin down there so *nudges hero* Off you pop.

Nice forests around the southern mountain range but northern DB is more arid or grassy lands like Neolandia. 

Considering that crops grow well in Duren, which is farther north, I assume there is a massive meteorological gyre over the human lands, with a southern wind blowing down over the western realms and keeping them icy until the mountains of Hinterpeak block and divert them, protecting Evenere. The winds don't blow eastward without warming right up-- and causing thunderstorms in Katolis how about that-- because there is a warmer side to the gyre over Katolis and Duren, blowing tropical warmth and moisture north and providing rain for trees and crops alike. Most years, anyway.

How does the weather fail in Duren for seven years in a row, anyway? That seems like a Thunder issue. Unless it’s a Sunforge issue, which I’ll get to below.

Ahem.

Borders Neolandia, Duren, and Katolis across rivers, but most border is coastline.

Serpentongue probably got its name from the two river heads around it

Cluster of dead little cracks spawns a single river. Looks like someone cracked the tub and it drained away. I wonder how much of this landscape has been affected by the Mage Wars. Big watery basins have flooded and other spots seem dead. The lands may or may not actually touch depending on how deep some of these waterways are

Evenere

Looks like someone punched holes in the land with a giant pencil to make it a separate island. Broken outline with scattered islands

That Pawprint Isles has only four toes

Moon-shaped island is very crescenty indeed

Are these isles home to refugees or outcasts from Xadia? Listen, I want pirates and that sea looks pretty Caribbean to me

No capital city, hmmm what's that about? Is it underground, does it move? Maybe Fareeda’s capital is on the back of a world turtle and she’s constantly on tour around the island?

That arm of land ending in a peace sign, please can we get surfers

The hills emanating from that claw shaped headland look like something is sleeping under the island, hello yes I am here for giant immortal creatures please

Katolis

its capital is also called Katolis, the only human realm to use the same name twice

Weeping Bay could be a ref to the tears the humans shed after they reached the west. Or the Moonshadow elves as they left their forest for the east. Or both. Both, in this case, is bad but balanced

Boomerang island next to the Dragontail

The river the Dragaang rode on was going uphill

The watery slash in the land between Katolis and Del Bar is awfully straight. So is the one between Del Bar and Neolandia. I call magical warfare.

Katolis has a bunch of mountains in the east, part of an old natural border before the lava one appeared

Mt Kalik is probably volcanic. It's a standalone mountain and it's really tall. Rex Ignius maybe? Oh, probably not, I think I see him peeking on the other side of the map

The trees of Duren and Katolis are different then the western lands. Softer green, deciduous. And the land itself is yellower, warmer in tone

Forests centered on Mt Kalik

The Moon Nexus looks like an eye on a dragon head near the Dragontail, and Evenere looks like a severed wing (Yes I am still wondering where Luna Tenebris went, why do you ask)

Weeping Bay looks like the most natural body of water in the western lands

Three red little trees scattered around the Katolis map. Fruit trees? How very Moonshadow.

Duren

The only land border among all the human kingdoms is between Duren and Katolis. Maybe it used to be further south along the river?

Capital is Berylgarten, set on a lake. Beryl is a stone that’s usually green, blue, or yellow in color, very gardeny

Second smallest realm but the breadbasket of the human lands. Has several little forests and great tilled fields

Being a farmer in Duren is probably as awesome as being an assassin in the Moonshadow Forest; you do what you do for all your friendly kingdoms

Northernmost land is cold and craggy, named Skall's Hook along the sea

Third ship in the Frozen Sea is icebound and crushed. Looks western, indicating no possible passage

Lots of colored trees and shrubs as if fruitbearing, I keep comparing Duren to the Yakima Valley in Washington State

Where the lava reaches the Frozen Sea, it melts the ice next to Duren's mountains

Northern Xadia:

Lux Aurea

Most of the center lands of this map has warm tones for its ground. Maybe that’s because of the long reach of the warmth and light of Lux Aurea’s Sun Nexus, and only the lands that are just too far from it are truly cold and icy. It would explain why Duren is a breadbasket realm so far north--it’s just across the border from Lux Aurea.

If there’s anything to that, then I suddenly worry for the fate of all the human lands now that the Sunforge has gone dark. It’s early summer now in Xadia, and crops in Duren will be ripening soon... Unless the sun’s magic was helping them grow. This coming winter could be rough. Next winter, people will die. Unless they can purify the Sunforge again.

Also, I have to wonder if Duren’s seven years of famine had anything to do with Sunforge shenanigans. They’d have happened at Khessa’s command, and we know she despises humans. If she was responsible for all the struggles that humans had to go through without enough food for seven years, and then their desperate attempt to fix the problem by invading Xadia for a Magma Titan’s heart which extended and exacerbated the war, I can see why Aaravos might feel Queen Khessa deserved to die

The city’s shaped kinda like an Egyptian pectoral necklace on this map, and that’s super pretty and not at all ominous

Also that’s a lot of gold for a whole city and I wonder how they got it all

The Shiverglades and the Shards

These areas are north of Lux Aurea and seem cold but not very icy, even though the Frozen Sea is right there. More thoughtful glances at the Sunforge over this one. Is it warming the land, or not warming the sea? Both?

Shiverglades is a play on Everglades, so this is a cold swamp, which sounds super fun I’m sure. Permafrost, tundra maybe?

The Shards seem to be rock islands with ice mountains. Glaciers are cool. 

I wonder if something broke those islands off on purpose. Have I mentioned how much I enjoy worldbuilding? Yeah, well, I like world-wrecking, too.

Storm Spire

Has a good view on everything that happens for miles, including Lux Aurea, the Midnight Desert, the Shiverglades, the Black Tundra, the Uncharted Forest, and Drakewood. 

Defensible position, no other tall mountains nearby

Also able to alert others to danger, especially since Avizandum could teleport like lightning

The Midnight Desert

It’s pretty big! And it looks like it’s littered with ruins of columns and dead palm trees. Like something else used to be in that great space and then something Very Bad happened to it. Maybe there was one great city where all the elves could mix together, and then it got utterly obliterated and the elves all fled to their respective safe places around Xadia. A city of black stone, back when Aaravos wore a crown? Now pulverized to dust and surrounded by not one, not two, but three primal nexuses? Hmmm...

All the wisps could be heat from the sand, or spooky spirit hints, or just an ominous sign of danger from the snakes below, but the overall effect is that the land is unhealthy if not cursed

The oasis is marked, and it must contain a spring since it runs a river out to join the river that passes through the Moonshadow Forest

Also the actual oasis kinda resembles a blue lizard which is adorable and probably also terrifying

Moonshadow Forest

The Silvergrove is the only village marked in the forest, so in keeping with the other lands and general map legend rules, it’s likely the capital/central village for the Moonshadow elves

The village is marked by four round-roofed homes between two tall leafy trees that shelter and hide them. It’s a hybrid balance between the blocky manmade castles of the human lands and the actual forest around them, showing a blending with nature that even the Sunfire city of Lux Aurea did not embrace, with all its golden buildings

It’s a good-sized forest, and it kinda stretches thin to the east but there it tentatively connects to the Drakewood Forest

Moonstone Path to the west just chilling in the lava like a blank alignment chart. Moonstone Path is Chaotic Hot.

Southern Xadia:

Ruins of Elarion

Elarion is a city, and it’s been lost to the humans for a thousand years

The building outlines are squared-off towers like the more modern castles in the west, suggesting that humans in Xadia built for strength and defense as soon as they could. They felt vulnerable and created protections in their architecture. The three elven cities we see also play to their strengths, but those strengths include magic. Elarion’s humans had to find a different strength, and they went with craftsmanship and ingenuity

It seems to be the only human city from before the border was drawn

“Ruins” doesn’t necessarily mean no one lives there at all, but it’s been emptied of humans and no one else has maintained it since

It had a great position on a vast lake, with sheltering hills and easy sea access

Sea of the Castout

This inland sea has five inlets and outlets. It’s hard to be sure which is which with some of them, with the way the water is drawn on this map. But I’m kinda liking the idea that all the water swirlies are places where Tidebound magic has been placed over the millennia, so the water can do whatever it needs to do depending on circumstances. That goes for the human lands, too. Katolis backward river, you’re off the hook.

With a name like "Castout,” I wonder if it was some kind of universal toilet to flush away things you didn’t want--including humans--who might wash up near Elarion and start to build there. Yeesh.

The rivers that flow into this sea pass through or near the Moonshadow Forest, the Midnight Desert, the Storm Spire, Drakewood, and the Uncharted Forest. That’s a lot of drainage.

It’s pretty far from the Tidebound Archipelago, so maybe its name is referencing Tidebound elves who have left their home colony

Was this always a sea, or did something that Xadia wanted to forget get flooded and hidden in the depths?

The land around it seems open and hospitable. It could be a good place to build/rebuild in a time of peace.

The Far Reaches

Open grassland with low hills

Two of the hills look like giant boot prints

Several colorful trees which I hope are fruit trees

Bounded by two rivers from the Sea of the Castout

Looks homey tbh, great spot to retire to get away from everything if there were a war that really shook you up

Ocean Point

There’s a Star rune here, and it could mean many things

The closest other marked location is Elarion

If this was where Aaravos lived of his own free will, I can see why he’d take a shine to the humans. They were his neighbors.

If he is imprisoned here, it’s literally the furthest point in Xadia from the other elven realms, with the Moonshadow Forest being the closest one and Umber Tor not too much further but in a totally different direction. If they were trying to isolate him physically with a portable mirror to watch over him, that’s a good spot for it

Possible location that the cube is leading Callum toward? Portal to the Star Touch home plane? Aaravos’s seaside B&B? Trap street?

Eastern Xadia:

Drakewood

Umber Tor looks to be the tallest mountain in all of Xadia, save possibly for the Storm Spire. It’s more traditionally mountainy, with a nice snowcap. Since it’s labeled, I’m guessing it’s the Earth Nexus, under which an Earth Archdragon sleeps

Also there’s a giant yellowish-brown dragon chilling next to the Tor. Yeah, he seems nice. Rex Igneous, I presume?

Or maybe not, since the neighboring forest is called Drakewood. Maybe this woods is just where a bunch of Earth dragons hang out? Ezran and Pyrrah flew off and returned with a crew of Sun dragons from somewhere, so dragons must have communities too

The mountains that edge the sea are shaped roughly like a stone dragon in flight

Drakewood seems to be the forest closest to Umber Tor, with both deciduous and evergreen trees, though there’s a huge swath of wooded land here, to the north and to the southwest. I wonder what the locals consider the border where the Drakewood becomes the Uncharted Forest and why. The way the evergreens are drawn almost looks like a border, a sort of kingswood set aside for a specific use. Rex Igneous’s best toothpicks?

Uncharted Forest

Okay this is a properly magical name, very mysterious. But uncharted by whom? People with charts? This might be a Sir Phineas Kurst name, which is outsidery, and it makes me wonder if the locals/neighbors have their own name for it, which the human explorer never learned, a la “Thunder” for Avizandum

Maybe “Uncharted Forest” just means no one ever turned those trees into charts though, old growth ftw

If no one lives here, will someone move here? If someone lives here, who are they? Earthblood elves? Moonshadow elves? Humans? This mystery, it calls to me

the trees are mostly deciduous and fill basically all of this whole section of land, up against the mountains and the rivers, so it seems very fertile land indeed

Earthblood elves could live here, but there is no city marked. Maybe because we haven’t gotten that far in the show, or maybe that’s the wrong sort of descriptor for how the Earthbloods live and organize. Maybe the whole forest is their city, like Pando, the interconnected quaking aspen clone forest

The northernmost part of this forest lies right between the Storm Spire and the Tidebound Archipelago, so it might get a regular flyover route for migration or messages

Yes, this forest is the most interesting place in Xadia to me, I desperately want to learn more about it

Black Tundra

Yeah this place isn’t ominous

Similar to the Shiverglades, but where that has shrubbery, the Black Tundra has single dead trees and creepy curving spikes. Scorched? Poisoned? De-magicked?

The water north of this area isn’t frozen, and with a lake to the south and a river and a moderate mountain range, the whole area looks like it would otherwise be decently habitable, but instead it’s cold and black

Is climate change a thing here, or will we get a nice horrible disaster instead?

Tidebound Archipelago

These islands have dotted lines around them, like they’re submerged at high tide, or maybe made of shifting sand that literally moves around like sand dunes across a desert, or perhaps they’re exactly at sea level with half their civilization in the air and half underwater or in cool bubbles, or maybe the islands actually float

Maybe the Tidebound elves even sank them on purpose for defensive purposes

The archipelago is about even latitudinally with the Storm Spire Lux Aurea, Berylgarten, and Eboreus so they probably get pretty nice weather

There’s no ice in sight here in any direction along Xadia’s east coast, so presumably the prevailing current is a warm one

do they have bridges connecting the islands? Ferries, animals who give them a lift across?

the islands have quite a bit of space on them. I wonder if there’s a big population, maybe a shifting population? Do Tidebound elves migrate up and down the coast like gray whales and return to the islands for certain holidays or social events?

This is probably the hub of the Tidebound elves’ culture, but the sea surrounds the whole land and infiltrates it with many rivers and lakes. The Spinning Sea and the Frozen Sea are pretty firm Do Not Enter signposts, but a determined Tidebound could get around either one if they wanted to

What I’m not seeing here is a city. Either it’s not been marked yet, or that’s not a thing that Tidebound elves have in their culture. If they don’t have a city, they’re possibly migratory in family groups, or maybe they stick to small villages like the Moonshadows do, but with even less central leadership

[ghostmartyr]

I haven't read many of your metas or replies so I'm sorry if this has been discussed ad nauseam, but a lot (and I mean A LOT) of readers are saying that this genuinely was the only choice Eren could have made here. I personally think that's a crock of shit, there are a million things you try before jumping to global genocide, but I feel like that is genuinely what EREN believes and that's the narrative perspective we've been given so it's hard to conceive of alternatives (cont.)

           (cont.) from our limited vantage point (which is also a criticism on my part of how Eren has handled this, I mean think of all the shit Hange could have preempted if she knew what Eren knew through Paths/memories - screaming "if there's another way then tell me what it is!" to someone you've actively kept in the dark is a dick move any day of the week). In your opinion, what do you think could or should have been Paradis' alternatives that maybe we're just not seeing as readers?             

If your only option is genocide, you have no options.

That is the only place where I feel like Eren’s actions become understandable. Powerlessness when you should be the most powerful person on the face of the planet is one hell of a trip, and descending into a place where the world is so awful that it should just burn--

Yeah, I get that.

Only that isn’t how Eren’s coming across. I buy that whatever he’s doing, he believes it’s his final option, but his commitment to genocide rings false.

...Getting to the actual question, though, uh.

Start at Not This, then arrange the list from there.

I am not good at this kind of thing, so glaring obliviousness likely to follow.

I think if I were writing this story, sending out scouts to search for allies is a fine start. I also think that Willy announcing to the world that Karl Fritz sought peace is exactly where Eren should have called his murder spree off. Willy is the closest to beloved an Eldian can get in the outside world. He is a good mouthpiece for their suffering.

Paradis could have easily worked with that. Marley declares war, and instead of responding with violence, you have the person he’s pinning all the blame on show up, and tell him to fuck off, they don’t want death either.

As much as the outside world has learned to hate the island, they don’t like Marley either.

Paradis has the means to get their people in and out of Liberio; they could have silently abducted Zeke, giving them the means to activate the walls, and made their intent for peace public.

This would be the Come At Me Bro plan.

Willy says he wants more sympathy for Eldians? Cool. Paradis backs that. But hey that guy you’re saying stole the King’s power? Not how that went down. Also, Marley went on a secret mission trying to steal our island’s resources, and we find that upsetting.

Then--and this is important--no one kills anyone.

The world has just played witness to Marley declaring war on yet another people who want them to fuck off, and had the revelation that Marley already began this war years ago, without the island seeking their rightful retaliation.

Have Eren transform in front of everyone, and attack no one. Have him escort one key official from the island, deliver a signed statement with the Queen’s seal asking for peace to a reporter, and get out. Have Armin blocking off the bay.

Make a massive show of force after Willy declares war, and make it even clearer that Marley is beneath them. Use Titans to drive the point home further; Marley has done nothing but viciously attack surrounding nations with their Titans. Paradis brings theirs, and it’s the first time in decades anyone’s seen one without bloodshed following.

And if anyone tries to start something, wake up the walls, but keep them still.

Let the first message in a hundred years be that yes, the island is just as powerful and as threatening as you’ve all been told--and until you give us a reason to attack, we won’t.

Want some iceburst rock?

This gives the countries of the world some concerns. A new player is in town. All their worst nightmares might come true.

But Paradis has resources, and they have power.

Whatever results, there’s no guarantee of the rest of the world uniting to demolish the island. They’ve been happy to let it sit for over a hundred years. It’s been a political tool, not an entity anyone save for Marley cares about.

There would be discussion. With one Colossus having already made an appearance, nearby countries have to worry about more. There could be no united front against the island. Everyone would be aware that everyone else could decide to take a chance on the newcomers. They’d have to consider the possibility themselves.

They’d have to consider that there could be advantages.

The longer the debate goes on, the longer Paradis proves its lack of interest in starting wars. Marley is the only country champing at the bit to go after them, and Marley has burned most of its bridges with its warmongering. Allying with Paradis could mean turning the vile Titan force against Marley for once. Especially with Paradis so emphatically displeased at their past acts of terrorism; there’s no need to fear the two Titan superpowers teaming up.

Even if they’re not sure they have access to the rumbling, the bluff holds up. No one wants to antagonize the island. In canon, the island comes antagonizing the rest of the world, so the rest of the world realizes it’s time to get rid of it. In this make believe world, these countries are being presented with the choice of going after an island full of thousands of titans that could easily destroy the entire world--when so far, everything’s been chill.

Additionally, Paradis could make a blanket offer to take in all Eldian refugees. Most countries don’t want them. Paradis has a lot of land they’re not using, and the offer of a home where these people won’t face prejudice. There are already movements to protect subjects of Ymir. Paradis can do that.

That carries the risk of people accusing them of amassing strength, but really, what more do they need? They have the rumbling. A few extra bodies are meaningless.

Flying ships for spectating the walls are a thing. Invite reporters up in them and give them a tour.

Become known.

It would still take a long time, and the complications are endless, but that’s international policy for you.

The key would be to make a clear message; “We don’t want to fight, and if we did fight, we would win. Every time.”

AKA, “Don’t fuck with us.”

That’s worked for a hundred years without reinforcement.

Heck, if Willy and Zeke hadn’t pushed for another stab at the island, maybe it would have worked for another hundred.

Eren takes the world hating them as the stopping point. It needed to be a starting point, however they played it.

Again, I’m bad at this stuff, but Eren leaves after one international meeting.

Yeah, a hundred years of scapegoating is a lot to contend with, but it’s also been a hundred years of no one from the island complaining. Get in there and work with it.

Then if that still doesn’t work, you die trying to find something that does.

Something not genocide for once, given that every single problem in this world has been caused by genocide.

Thanks for the ask--and no, I don’t think this has come up much yet. You got in before the inevitable rush.

[mytargaryenchildren]

How a historical analysis might help reconsider the need to accept Game of Thrones’ TV ending

I’m dedicating this post to @bendthekneejon ❤️

I wrote this weeks ago but real life got in the way of finalizing it, but here you go. Almost 2 months later and I’m still angry about the Game of Thrones ending. And here’s how I am getting over it.

Most people I see online have been upset about the way the Game of Thrones TV show ended, including me. I have been a mega fan since 2013, read the books, spent a lot of money traveling to filming locations and on cosplay, went out of my way to meet Kit Harington, but most importantly I have used the story of ASOIAF as escapism for these past 6 years. It’s so ingrained in my daily imagination, so it’s been really difficult to come to terms with the butchering of characters and their arcs, sexist/racist writing, and an overall unsatisfying ending that we got just for the sake of ‘subverting expectations’.

To come to terms with my disregard for Season 8, I was thinking about a lecture I attended back in 2018 at my undergraduate university by Ayelet Haimson Lushkov. She wrote You Win or You Die: The Ancient World of Game of Thrones as a comparison of the events and tropes within ASOIAF with ancient Roman and Greek history. Usually, the comparison is made with medieval Britain or European history, but I found many of the parallels, especially from Essos, to be more interesting than the typical feudalist reading of ASOIAF that we get by historians. That’s not my main point here, though I would definitely check her book out if you’re a fan of history and ASOIAF like me. My main point is how to reconcile David and Dan’s ending or George R. R. Martin’s future ending with an actual satisfying end, and how modern fandom culture is actually the perfect way to bridge this gap.

Lushkov spoke about the formation of ‘canon’ in this lecture.  She explained how interesting it is how exactly ASOIAF canon has come to be: one author began it, which would usually be considered the one and only ‘true’ canon of a certain media. However, when it went to D&D and HBO, especially once they surpassed George’s books, that canon splintered into two. There’s book and show canon. Up until season 8 I was a fan of both; I liked each one for different reasons. I saw it as getting two separate stories told by two different entities, just using the same characters. In my heart I never preferred one over the other, I saw them as two different canons, two stories. I’m arguing that this is how we must think of the world of ASOIAF now. The book and show are completely different stories, and should remain that way. HOWEVER I’m taking it a step further.

Fandoms are just an authoritative source of canon as the ‘original’ creators. There, I said it. Now, let me explain this view by using Lushkov’s explanation. Because she looked into classical history, she naturally used Homer’s epic poems as a source to compare the content of ASOIAF with. Then she made the parallel, or reverse parallel, with the formation of these stories. First, it is important to understand the theories around Homer. “There are scholars who see (most of) the Iliad and sometimes the Odyssey as the work of a single inspired poet, a genius whom they call Homer.” In my parallel, this theory reflects GRRM and most singular content creators. However, the other argument helps my view, that “the Homeric poems are the product of a long series of compositions and re-compositions,” where “Homer is seen as a ‘movement’ rather than as an individual”. This theory states that the Greek Epics were compiled over time, by many people, until eventually it became one single canon. This isn’t only applicable to Greek poetry. Let’s look at where the word ‘canon’ comes from: religion. The Bible for example was written over time by different contributors into one eventual canon that’s followed by millions today. Each of the four gospels has its own version of the story of Christ, and even they differ from one another within canon!

So, why is this important? What does it have to do with the ending of Game of Thrones? Well, what I’m saying is that if we all agree that Game of Thrones season 8 was the worst thing to happen to the world of ASOIAF, we can throw it out the window of canon if we want. By reversing the formation of canon, us fans have just as much authority over it as David and Dan. Of course I’m not saying that every headcanon is 100% legitimate, no, but what I’m saying is that due to the widespread disdain and hatred for the ending, and overall agreement that it wasn’t up to the standards of the rest of canon, it’s acceptable for us to disregard it completely and feel no guilt in that. I don’t want anyone to say “no, I’m ignoring the final 3 episodes” and then to feel that underlying guilt or belief that you’re turning your back on a story you’ve loved for years. I know how much effort has been put into metas, theories, and fanfics. Some of you have spent way more time on this canon than D&D combined. It’s such a personal thing too, loving these characters, reflecting on our lives through them, and wanting to see them thrive. This analysis should help you disregard season 8 and feel justified about it under the definitions of canon.

Lushkov mentioned that modern fandom culture is so important in the acceptance of canon, and she was the one who suggested this reversal of roles. The definition of “Canon” is where my argument is strengthened: “Canon is a source, or sources, considered authoritative by the fannish community. In other words, canon is what fans agree "actually" happened in a film, television show, novel, comic book, or concert tour. Specific sources considered canon may vary even within a specific fandom.” Note the importance of fan’s acceptance in this definition. In Lushkov’s analysis, the fans play the same role as the original orators of the Greek epics before the Homer canon was solidified. Modern fandom is defined by many people sharing a story, and especially sharing extra content like metas and fanfics.

There’s a precedent for disregarding canon set already, though, and hopefully this can convince you more that you’re justified in throwing season 8 in the trash. When Disney bought Star Wars, they threw out everything that had been done in the Extended Universe and made up their own new canon. The Extended Universe was an example of one canon being created by one person, and then authors taking that and making their own additional stories in universe, that counted as canon. So, are all of their stories, their hard work, is it all invalid now? I wouldn’t say so. There’s just two separate canons now. Also, how many times have comic books been retconned? Just think about how many different superheros have 5 different film versions!  Creators ignore the past, or change it, and then new canon is accepted or not accepted by fans. I mentioned the Bible earlier; even THAT split into multiple Canons due to disdain for creators misusing canon! My years of studying Martin Luther have finally come in handy! Am I really comparing 1.5 million Game of Thrones fans signing a petition to remake season 8 to Martin Luther’s 95 Theses against the Catholic Church? You know what, yeah, yeah I am. 

If 1.5+ million people have signed the petition to remake Game of Thrones season 8, if 90% of the articles I see online hate the ending, if almost all of tumblr discourse says that the ending was gross and sexist and racist, well let’s throw it out the window. Clearly almost every character was acting out of character. The people we saw in the last 3 episodes of Game of Thrones were not the characters we grew to love in the previous 7.5 seasons.

I hope by pointing out real historical canons, as well as modern fandom interactions and media consumption, I’ve shown that the idea of one unifying ‘canon’ has never been as clear cut as one might hope. In this, I hope that everyone who is considering ignoring season 8 and turning to fanfiction to correct the mistakes made by David and Dan feels no remorse in doing so. GO FOR IT!! If Martin Luther could, you can too.  

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

(Vol. XII)

It was a love story from the very beginning.

First date Illusion for a broken man

(5x03//5x10//5x11//5x13//5x14)

Hello Friends! I'm here again with another volume from my Destiel Chronicles.

In this meta I'm gonna trace a parallel between 5x03 "Free to be you and me" and 5x13 "My bloody Valentine."

I want to say thank you to my friend @agusvedder who made the gifs for this meta! You are amazing, girl!

Now, let's start this...

First hunting date

When Dean and Cas went on their first hunt together, it was like a first date, and as we saw in 5x03 "Free to be you and me", Dean really enjoyed being Castiel's partner and hunt with CAS.

Trying to teach him human's stuffs, giving him advices, and even going out to a brothel with him was so fun, that he admitted he was happy with him, as he wasn't in a long time.

Yes... Seeing Castiel having a bad time was funny too, he was discovering being around the angel was exquisitely entertained. He had tried made him mad, and locking him with pop culture, and now watching him so nervous was delicious.

That had been a great first date, he even tried to seduce him by flirting... But Cas was such a cute clueless angel...

But I'm a broken man

Coming back to 5x10 "Abandon all hope", Jo gets hurt bc she saved Dean from the hellhounds. And she dies later with her mother Hellen.

Dean let the guilt to consume him again, and we had, immediately after that episode, 5x11 "Sam interrupted", in which we saw Dr. Cartwright, as a construction/illusion, from Dean's mind to question himself about the mission, about his duties. The program he had in his head as THE BIG PROTECTOR and the FIRST BORN. The mission to protect everyone to any cost, even his life. He was questioning that because he felt Jo and Hellen had died for him. And that was too painful.

The first time Dr. Cartwright appeared, she asked Dean about his father, but the second time... He asked about the Mission Heritage.

DR. CARTWRIGHT: Why you?

DEAN: Why me, what?

DR. CARTWRIGHT: Why do you have to hunt monsters? Why not let someone else do it?

DEAN: (shrugs, smiles) Can't find anybody else that dumb. (thinks for a moment) It's my job. Somebody's gotta save people's asses, yours included.

Here is Dean asking himself why he has to do this. Why he has to hunt and keep saving people. And he answers himself. IT'S MY JOB. IT'S MY DUTY. BECAUSE I'M AN OBEDIENT SON. I'M A GOOD SON.

Then this...

DR. CARTWRIGHT: So, is there a quota? How many people do you have to save?

DEAN: All of them.

DR. CARTWRIGHT: All of them? You think you have to save everyone?

DEAN: Yep. Whole wide world of sports.

Dean has to save and protect anyone. So... Why he couldn't protect Jo and Hellen? That's the huge guilt that is now on his shoulders... But this didn't end there... When the Doctor asked how he would protect and save everyone, he said...

DEAN: It's the end of the world, okay? I mean, it's a damn Biblical apocalypse, and if I don't stop it and save everyone, then no one will, and we all die.

DR. CARTWRIGHT: That's horrible.

DEAN: Yeah, tell me about it.

DR. CARTWRIGHT: I mean, apocalypse or no apocalypse...monsters or no monsters, that's a crushing weight to have on your shoulders. To feel like six billion lives depend on you...God...how do you get up in the morning?

DEAN stares contemplatively for a moment.

DEAN: That's a good question.

How can Dean avoid all of this and wake up in the morning? He can't... He is carrying with it the whole journey... As we will see in the following scene.

Free will is an illusion

In episode 5x13 "The song remains the same", Dean talks with Michael!John, and that was one of the huge points that settled the Dean's despair that will lead him to say Yes to Michael and I will talking about that in the next volume, I just wanted to point here this phrase from the Archangel...

MICHAEL: You're my true vessel but not my only one.

DEAN: What is that supposed to mean?

MICHAEL: It's a bloodline.

DEAN: A bloodline?

MICHAEL: Stretching back to Cain and Abel. It's in your blood, your father's blood, your family's blood.

Michael is announcing everything is part of a plan, everything was constructed with a reason and with a destiny.

MICHAEL: You know, my brother, I practically raised him. I took care of him in a way most people could never understand, and I still love him. But I am going to kill him because it is right and I have to.

DEAN: Oh, because God says so?

MICHAEL: Yes. From the beginning, he knew this was how it was going to end.

DEAN: And you're just gonna do whatever God says.

MICHAEL: Yes, because I am a good son.

DEAN: Okay, well, trust me, pal. Take it from someone who knows—that is a dead-end street.

Michael is the good son, the obedient, as Dean is. This similitude is traced intentionally, and is one more proof that reveals everything was written to be like this. Even Mary and John were made for each other by design of God.

This lasts words from Michael will stay in Dean and will be part of the following events I will analyze in the next volume, will show us why he was about to quit to his free will.

Tryin to remember that first date when I was happy with you...

So, after these two things that happened to Dean, after questioning his duties, Famine arrives to the town on 5x14 "My bloody Valentine". And is Saint Valentine's day... But Dean was so broken and sad, that he didn't want to celebrate as always...

They start to investigate in the Morgue, and when they found enochian in one of the victims, they decided to call Castiel... And this classic Destiel scene happened...

Again he has this dorky angel in front of him, and is incredible he is doing that. But Dean and Cas are looking at each other's eyes again, with that intensity the hunter is use to by now... But is not less captivated.

And then, when CAS is explaining the boys about Cupid, Dean made a joke again...

DEAN: You mean the little flying fat kid in diapers?

CASTIEL: They're not incontinent.

SAM: Okay, anyway. So, what you're saying--

CASTIEL: What I'm saying is a Cupid has gone rogue and we have to stop him--before he kills again.

Castiel got a little anxious here, and Dean enjoys this. He enjoys this as he enjoyed putting him nervous that time in the brothel. He enjoys seeing Castiel mad too.

With all the things that happened to Dean, sad things, seeing Cas and... As we could see later on this episode, hunting alone with him, it reminds him that first date/hunt they had, when he was happy. When he enjoyed Castiel's company. So yes. Dean wasn't interested in food, in sex, in celebrating Valentine's day, he didn't feel Famine influence on him... The only thing/person that caught his attention was this dorky angel again. Because with him he had a good time. And now, admiring him and looking at him that way, checking him, he was trying to enjoy Castiel's company. (Even if people could say this was a cockles scene... The writers and the producers let the thing in the episode for one narrative reason.)

That's one deep, dark nothing Dean got there.

When Castiel realized Dean was the only one not having symptoms with Famine on town, he get curious.

CASTIEL: (...) What I don't understand is...where is your hunger, Dean?

DEAN: Huh?

CASTIEL: Well, slowly but surely, everyone in this town is falling prey to Famine, but so far, you seem unaffected.

But the truth was, the big hole Dean's had inside and Famine saw...

As I analyzed in my meta "Let's make a tour inside Dean's soul", that hole, that nothing, will be filled with love, family love and romantic love. But now, Dean is feeling empty, dead.

To conclude:

Jo and Hellen's deaths incremented the guilt inside Dean, he questioned his whole mission as the Big Protector.

The first date/hunt Dean and Cas had in 5x03, is a very nice memory for Dean, because he was happy and having a good time with CAS there.

In 5x14 "My bloody Valentine", the only thing/person Dean showed interest was Castiel, going to a hunt with him again and seeing him acting like the weird, dorky, little guy he is, should brought Dean good memories from their first hunt together.

The emptyness Dean have inside, pointed by Famine, is one another huge point for the following events, and later will be filled with Love.

I hope you like this!! C-u in the next volume!

Tagging @metafest @gneisscastiel @mrsaquaman187 @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @castiellover20 @whyjm @koshisekisen @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @cheerstofandomfamily @drsilverfish @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfatmydoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @hippyatheart80 @xsghn @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh

If you want to be tagged in the Destiel Chronicles, please let me know.

Links to previous volumes: VIII / IX / X / XI

Buenos Aires May 23rd 2019 1:21 AM

[snows-labcoat]

Hey if your request are open, could you do a reader x caitlin/frost going on vacation together ❤ please and thank you! Keep up the amazing work!

Haha of course! Thank you so much for being my first request and I hope you enjoy.

Title: The Seine

Summary: You finally convince Caitlin to take a break from work for the holidays. (Song reader sings is The Schmuel Song from The Last 5 Years.

Pairing: Caitlin Snow/KF x meta!reader

“Caiiiiit” You grinned as you let yourself into her apartment, taking off your shoes at the doorway.

“Bedroom!” She called out, her voice echoing from the hallway. You knocked lightly on her door before pushing it open all the way. Caitlin looked up at you from her bed, putting down her book as she sat up against her headboard.

“You know— you let yourself into my apartment, I don’t see why you bothered to knock on my already open bedroom door.” Her voice having a playful yet tired tone to it as you joined her, taking the empty space right next to her before giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“I do have some manners, thank you very much” She gave one of her trademark half smiles before sinking lower against the headboard, her head resting on your chest as she draped an arm over your torso. In return, you rested a hand on her forearm and draped the other behind her head and down her back, settling into a comfortable ambience.

“You do at least text me that you’re visiting, unlike Ralph who loves to just burst in with some new revelation that we have in fact— already discovered”

“I made a pamphlet just for him to give on Christmas.” You revealed, a laugh escaping the bio-engineer’s mouth. “Did you really?”

“I did, in fact. I think it would be a disservice to the rest of the team if I didn’t give him one” The dim room seemed to brighten when Cait smiled up at you, her eyes shining— it had you speechless every time.

“What?” She asked through a smile and you just shook your head.

“Speaking of Christmas...” You began, changing the subject, she sat back up and turned her head towards you.

“I was thinking we could go on a vacation... just the two of us?” She raised an eyebrow while remaining silent

“Whaat?” You pouted, “come on, Cait. You know how it is. We never get time to just be a couple, not with Team Flash.”

“You just proved my point, look— I know it’s hard. But we can’t just abandon the team for a week.”

“But it’s not just that. You know what I mean” She sighed in exhaustion before cuddling back into you.

“I know. I hate sneaking around too, believe me— I want to kiss you in front of them like Barry and Iris but it’s just...”

“My earth. Right. But we dealt with that” You pointed out.

“You know I just don’t want another target on your back.”

You had come from another earth. No, not Earth X, but it was a similar concept. You were on trial for running away with a girl in your early twenties, your ex was caught and executed before Team Flash took you in after being found by Wally picking you up off the streets with the legends. Bounty hunters came and it was a whole deal, but that wasn’t the point.

“I just— I want to spend time with you as my girlfriend.” Your voice filled with disappointment before Caitlin moved in to kiss you.

“That’s what we’re doing now, isn’t it?”

“You know what I mean”

“Do you think the team notices how often you come home with me after work?” The doctor pondered and you shook your head.

“No. They can be dense. That’s why I have a pamphlet for Ralph” You responded and she simply smiled against the skin of your neck.

“Although— that one time Cisco did catch us kissing on the security footage when we accidentally tripped the alarm.”

You noticed her body tense before speaking up, “Everything okay?”

“Killer Frost seems very adamant about— and I quote; getting alone time away from the team of monkeys and finally telling them about us”

“Even Killer Frost agrees” A sly smile made its way onto your face before you pulled a puppy dog face on her.

“That’s is not fair” She playfully smacked your arm, the chestnut haired woman could’ve sworn you pouted even harder, if that was even possible before exhaling a loud breath.

“You know what— okay. Let’s go away for Christmas. If they need us, they can call.”

An excited fist pump and a sweet kiss later, you were on your phone, buying the plane tickets you had held for two weeks.

“Barry could just super speed us...” Caitlin pointed out before you shook your head.

“Nope. We are going to experience at least one normal thing in this relationship” You explained before putting your phone down and getting under the covers, holding Caitlin until sleep overtook. When you both woke up, neither of you wanted to get out of bed— so you literally said screw it and went to work an hour late.

By the time you got to Star Labs together, everyone was sitting around the Cortex as Cisco fell from a ladder in an attempt to hang Christmas lights up.

“You know... you could’ve asked me?” Ralph stood over the shorter man

“It’s fine. I just live on the floor now” He responded, finally noticing that you two had walked in.

“Well look who decided to show up” Cisco pushes himself up off the ground before Killer Frost flashed, the engineer quickly surrendering.

“No more questions. Got it” Cisco saw Ralph doing what looked like holding in a giant fart before he finally asked what was up.

“I— I have a question, but then Frosty over here—“

“Ralph— she wasn’t talking about you” Cisco face palmed before the tall man seemed to do a little jump.

“Oh! Okay so— what’re everyone’s holiday plans?” Ralph quizzed as most everyone responded with some variation of “Christmas dinner at Joe’s”

“I’m actually— going away for the week.” You admitted.

“What— why won’t you come eat with us?” Ralph pouted before Cisco coughed.

“She’ll be busy eating something else” He continued to cough through the statement before Killer Frost grabbed his hand as he hissed in pain.

“Actually guys, I won’t be able to join you either” Caitlin spoke up, no longer freezing Cisco. “Now that my mom and I are on better terms, I’m spending a week with her.” She explained and everyone seemed to accept it.

“But— If you guys need anything, you can always call” Emphasis on the word call. Nothing else. You and Caitlin were finally getting a break along with a full week of being a normal couple.

“Look— it’s okay, Cait. Everything has gone smoothly. No need to stress” She was nervous, with the last threat causing so much damage— leaving central city was like leaving a child in the middle of a mall full of kidnappers.

“Here, I’ll even knock on wood” You rapped three times on the dresser in your hotel room.

“Well, when we get a distress alarm from Team Flash, they better hope someone else is available.” You held her hands in yours before pressing a gentle kiss to her.

“Hey, they’ve got things handled over there. Iris is a good team leader” Caitlin nodded in understanding before you pulled away.

“I’m sorry if I’m Scroog-ing up the holidays” The older woman looked at you apologetically, you could sense the nervous energy radiating off her body.

“You know what would make you feel better?” She raised a brow before you pulled mistletoe out of your bag. A laugh escaped her mouth as she went in to kiss you, a confused look gracing her features when you moved out of the way.

“Nope. You have to let me hang it properly in the doorway so I get to kiss you every time we walk in.”

“You can technically do that anyways...” She pointed out while watching you struggle to reach the light hanging from the ceiling.

This continued for a few minutes before you dragged a chair over, later followed by a loud thud. “Oh my god—“ Caitlin scurried over to you, your eyes stared up into hers as they turned blue.

“C’mon, let me ice the bruises I can already tell are forming” She helped you up and while she began to lead you to the open living room, you held onto her wrist.

“What?”

Pointing up at the ceiling, she followed your finger and found the successfully hung mistletoe. Giving in, she laughed before leaning in to kiss you. She said nothing as you both pulled apart before you removed your shirt, allowing her hands to press against the bruises.

The sudden sensation sent chills crawling through your skin, Killer Frost noticing how you relaxed under her touch.

“God. This makes me realize how stressful it is back home.”

“Yeah, well— now’s our chance to finally chillax. It’s almost Christmas, Cait. Let’s start feeling like it” You hopped off the edge of the bed.

“How do you suppose we do that?”

“I picked our flight for a reason. It’s beautiful when you go out at sunset. C’mon.”

She followed you outside, Killer Frost taking the back seat as you arrived. You talked to a man, the foreign language rolling off your tongue which was surprising to your girlfriend. Caitlin gave you a confused look as you followed him onto a boat, signaling for her to follow.

“I didn’t know you spoke French?”

“oui, je parle un peu de français. Sherloque m'a appris.” The rest of the night was exactly what you were hoping for. A private boat tour and dinner along the Seine. The way the sunset seemed to glow around Caitlin, until the stars became clearer and the sound of the river gently surrounding the boat— this was a much needed break and the two of you knew it.

It was late by the time you got off, finally able to talk about anything and everything without the weight of being a “superhero” suffocating you. Now, you wouldn’t trade it for the world. Neither would Caitlin— but neither of you were ashamed to admit that it had been a really long time where work wasn’t a part of the conversation.

You took her hand, walking along the Champs-Élysées, holiday decorations lining the avenue.

“Cait”

“Mhm?” She turned to look at you, the smile resting on your face making her think about how grateful she is to have you by her side.

“I spent so long on the run. I never thought I’d be able to live the life I’ve always dreamed”

“But here you are. It’s sappy and cliché, I know. Walking along the most famous avenue in the world, holding hands with your girlfriend after a dinner on the Seine. I just— after seeing so many people die, almost losing you when you tried to hide Killer Frost— I want you to know that I love you.” You swore you could see her eyes tearing up but you shrugged it off, merely tracing patterns onto the back of her hand with your thumb while you continued to stroll.

“You— you are someone extraordinary. You bring things out in me that I haven’t felt in a long time. I know I can be stubborn, and Killer Frost even more so— but without you, my feet would never leave the ground.”

The chestnut haired woman looked as if she was trying to hard to articulate what she wanted to say so you gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “—I’d be unable to see past the science of life. You’ve always been better than me at words— god. But I’ve realized that we shouldn’t keep this a secret anymore. Team Flash deserves to know.”

“Are you sure?” She nodded in reaffirmation before speaking, “Yeah. Maybe not right now. But after we get back home.”

There was a silent agreement between you two while you made your way back to the hotel you were staying at, relishing in the moment.

Whenever you passed under mistletoe, you would pull her in for a kiss, Caitlin smiling against your lips almost every time. There was light laughter shared between the two of you that you didn’t want to end. This was your first proper Christmas since you were a teenager, spending so long on the run before Team Flash found you almost a year ago. You got to your hotel room, the mistletoe still sloppily dangling from the light fixture before you felt cold hands pull you in, Killer Frost’s welcome surprise appearance emitting a squeak from your lips before she kissed you.

“I’ll see you on New Years Eve” Her distorted voice whispered before Caitlin came back.

Both of you spent the night just cuddling until you fell asleep first, the bio-engineer smiling at the sight of you relaxed for once. Nightmares weren’t uncommon between the things you two had been through, so when you began to shift uncomfortably in your sleep, body temperature beginning to rise with the anxious energy practically radiating, Caitlin just inhaled steadily, letting Killer Frost come out so she could keep you calm. Now— Frost was not soft. I mean; don’t get her wrong, she loved you— and wasn’t afraid to admit that, but rarely did she do the whole “affection” thing. When her arm draped over your torso, pulling you back into her as the gelidity of her breath seemed to spill over your body, immediately cooling down the literally overheating anxiety of your nightmare state, the tenseness of your body quickly dissipated.

You woke up later that night to find Killer Frost wrapped around you, her hand resting on top of yours as she slept. God how team flash would’ve paid to see Killer Frost being physically close with anybody.

Neither of you were morning people. Contrary to popular belief— it was extremely difficult to get the driven scientist out of bed. Especially when you also are perfectly content just laying there with her. It was Christmas morning though, and you did have plans. You managed to drag yourself out of bed this time though— showering and making sure your presents for her were hidden before she woke. Laying back down in bed with Cait after setting an alarm for two hours later, you began to drift off back to sleep.

Once you woke up, the day was spent like the last, sight seeing, trying a bunch of foods, the travel essentials of visiting Paris.

It was late again, by the time you had finished walking along the bank of the Seine. When you had gotten back to the hotel, the smirk on your face was enough to let Caitlin know something was up. “It’s Christmas, Cait. Of course something is up” You informed, the track of a song playing soft enough through the TV.

“I call this The Story Of Schmuel, Tailor of Klimovich” You began in an accent, Caitlin sitting on the end of the bed as you started to sing. Your natural charisma when performing always had Caitlin enamored, how you danced and the way it always made her day. She got lost in thought, before you knelt down in front of the bed, taking her hands in yours.

“Take a breath, take a step, take a chance”

“Take your time” You pulled a box out and she opened it, the most gorgeous watch she had ever seen resting inside the case. You stood, pulling her with you and wrapping her in an embrace. Her arms held you around the waist, the intimacy of a slow dance moment in Paris becoming real.

“Have I mentioned today, how lucky I am—“ You sang, your words mingling with her breath.

“—to be in love with you?” And you stayed like that for what felt like hours. Not that either of you were complaining.

Which is why when you had found yourself straddling her on the bed, her hands up your shirt, and your lips on her neck— the sound of Barry Allen speeding into the room was unexpected. Killer Frost reflexively coming out and firing towards the noise. The grunt of the speedster was heard as he hit the wall. The two of you no longer on top of each other as he helped himself up.

“Merry— Merry Christmas to you too” He mumbled out.

“Killer Frost says she’s sorry” Caitlin informed, her cheeks red as you adjusted your shirt.

“Whatever you’re here for better be damn important” You sat up in bed as Barry looked at the clock. “Shit— I didn’t know it was 2 am over here. I’m sorry, not just uh... for the time. Wait— Caitlin, I thought you were with your mom?”

Caitlin seemed to be unable to make eye contact with Barry as he spoke, “Clearly I’m not.”

“I just came to give you some eggnog from Christmas dinner last night. Last night for us at least”

“Barry. As much as I love seeing you, please leave” Caitlin’s eyes flashed blue at him and he nodded his head.

“Yep. Uh, sorry I— sorry again.”

He sped off, the two of you trying to hold in laughter before settling. “Merry Christmas, Caity” You whispered, kissing her once more before you both fell fast asleep.

[squidproquoclarice]

I'm not sure why everyone acts like Arthur has to die.

I wrote one on this a while back but couldn’t find to reblog, and @gentle-outlaw just did a good meta on this so I’m going to try to not reinvent the wheel by restating their points too much.  I’m going to come at it from more of a storytelling analysis.Redemption = death is a very common trope.  In some cases it becomes an extremely powerful story: Sydney Carton’s sacrifice in “A Tale of Two Cities” is iconic for damn good reason.  But it’s become the default option for chars writers just really don’t want to invest more in a char, and want to give some emotional heft to things with a death.  Theon Greyjoy and Jorah Mormont in GOT, or Garcia Flynn in Timeless–they all got the “death was a satisfying conclusion to their redemption arc” claim.  Like there was nothing left.  There’s this idea that if you’ve done some bad things, your only purpose or hope is staying alive long enough to die for the survival of someone you love.  And that’s a downer, and a very black-and-white way of looking at things.Arthur is clearly not a less-important throwaway char to the writers like Theon.  And I do think the writing of Arthur’s TB, and his changes in outlook and morality both before and after, is a beautifully crafted char arc.  The writers put a lot of love into that.  It’s the story of an abused and frightened child finally becoming a man.  But they didn’t stick the landing as well as they could.  His death is honestly sort of clunky, because it makes the Epilogue clunky and something of a storytelling mess after the tightly crafted tour de force that was Chapters 1-6.  I remarked yesterday about how I feel Charles gets shafted in the Epilogue.  I think John and Abigail kind of do too, and maybe even Sadie.  It’s just messy, because they needed to make those things happen due to killing Arthur.I think they killed him off because of echoing John’s death in RDR1, and also believing the “redemption=death” thing.  But as I’ve remarked before, Arthur’s arc up until that point is very different from John’s “can’t escape the sins of your past” story in RDR1, and John’s limited engagement with the world around him.  Arthur’s story was very clearly restorative justice, i.e., “make up for your sins by changing yourself, committing to doing good, and restoring balance against the evil you did”.  It’s akin to the Zuko arc from ATLA: Arthur finding his own identity away from the one forced on him by an abusive father, seeing the world around him truly, and committing to his own ideals and principles.  Then it suddenly swaps over to retributive justice at the last moment of “there is no redemption except to pay for your sins with your life”.  As I’ve remarked (and written), TB was not an automatic death sentence.  Unlike John in a hail of bullets, Arthur could have survived.  Hell, I’ve written a reasonable UA of him being rescued without causing barely any ripple, because if we didn’t have the Epilogues insisting he’s dead, we could very reasonably argue what’s shown on that ridge isn’t a proven death.So yes, it works, but it’s a bit of a disconnect.  And I can’t help but keep thinking that a powerful narrative went out with a bit of a whimper because of it.  How much more powerful would it have been to depict Arthur a few years later, mostly physically recovered (but with his strength and stamina permanently a bit impacted by scarred lungs) and determined and still striving to become that better person, and do good?  What kind of person has he grown into since, and how has he developed further?  How’s the world been impacted by him still being there?  What about going after Micah not out of a sense of vengeance like we get in “American Venom”, but out of determined honor and accountability, because he knows Micah is only around to hurt people still because he was too weak and scared to stand up for his principles earlier?  And like I posted yesterday morning, it would have been very easy for Arthur to survive and clear him off the board for RDR1 by having him somewhere off the map and John protecting him by keeping silent so the continuity there isn’t threatened.  Don’t get me wrong.  The canon ending was a reasonable conclusion, and I don’t have nearly as much issue with it as I do with active throwing away of chars by other writers recently.  But that ending, and Arthur’s char arc, could have been great and an even more powerful conclusion to the story of a truly iconic character if they’d followed through on the themes they had already established and letting it come to an organic conclusion, IMO, rather than suddenly severing it and stitching the story onto another theme and narrative.

[notagarroter]

Sherlock Survey

No one tagged me or asked me to do this, and I'm not going to bother asking you to suggest a fandom, since obviously I only care about Sherlock haha. (Stolen from @marcceh )

---------

My favorite Episode: ohhh this is so hard.  ASiB is just so perfectly wrought, but TGG has some of my very favoritist scenes, but HLV is the one that grips me and thrills me from beginning to end, but TRF has all that amazing Moriarty, and TSoT's wedding speech is such a tour de force of acting and writing, and then TAB blew my mind in so many ways -- but I think I'm going to have to go with The Lying Detective.  From the moment I read the canon story, I was so eager to see what Moftiss would do with it, and they did not disappoint at all.  Funny and beautiful and tragic and grotesque, it's Sherlock at its most over-the-top, pull-out-all-the-stops baroque, and I adore it.  

My least Favorite Episode: I hate to be negative about anything Sherlock related, but let's just say that THoB and TFP were two episodes where I probably would have made some different artistic choices.  Minor tweaks, really.

My favorite Arc: I guess I'd go with the arc I described in this series of metas, where Sherlock has to move from an Enlightenment-style man of Rationality and Pure Reason to grudgingly accepting a more post-structuralist worldview, where truth is unstable and irrationality a force to be reckoned with.  Which I think he finally fully embraces in S4, hypothesizing that the drugs opened his mind to useful hallucinations...  and then with Eurus, who shows that pure reason and logic can themselves begin to look like madness.  

My least favorite Arc: ummm probably Mrs Hudson's? I like that she's more than she seems at first glance, but her bad-ass-ness went a tiny bit over the top for me in S4.  

My favorite ship: oh gosh, I hate to choose.  I think in a lot of ways Marylock is fun for me because I got in on the ground floor of that one...  I got to see fans all around me starting to admit to themselves and each other the powerful chemistry between Sherlock and Mary, and I wrote some very early headcanons for it. But I also really love Johnlockary, because they are all so right for each other and so wrong at the same time, which is delightful for a writer to dig into.  But when I watch the show, the ship that always dazzles me is Sheriarty, and I can never understand why it doesn't get talked about more.  There's just so much sparking erotic energy there, I can never get over it.    

My favorite character: sherrrrrrrrrrlock, always and forever.  but I love everyone else so much too!  the show just wouldn't be right without any of them.  

My favorite season:  oof, another tough one. Okay, in terms of most flawless season from beginning to end, with practically no weak spots, I have to go with S3.  I just feel like Moftiss really nailed that one, and each episode is a brilliant tour de force -- TEH is funny and quirky with lots of postmodern flourishes; TSoT is sunny and brilliant and clever but with this deep undercurrent of melancholy, and then HLV just smacks you in the face over and over with twists and shocks and heart-racing thrills.  (And then TAB comes along and destabilizes everything so brilliantly, but I suppose it doesn't really count as belonging to any season.)

My least favorite: Oh, I really do love them all, but...  gun to my head, I guess I'd say S1?  Just because we're still getting to know the characters and the world, so it's just not quite as wild as the later series...  though it's getting there in TGG, especially by the pool scene.  

Who I wish would have stayed till the end: Hmm I think moftiss have as much trouble saying goodbye to great characters as fans do, so no one ever really goes away on this show lol.  But I do wish we had seen Sally and Anthea in S4.  Oh, and Anderson.

Who I wish would have left the show sooner: Of the recurring characters?  No one, really...  But I wish they had just let Redbeard stay a dog, and maybe just kept it to the two references in S3. 

Who I think is the most cheated character: Ummm Victor Trevor.  I just really loved Victor Trevor in ACD canon, and I was looking forward to exploring that relationship in BBC-verse.  But making him a little boy (who we only glimpse for a minute or two, and who doesn't have any lines) didn't really do any favors to the character. It made sense for the story they wanted to tell, but it was a missed opportunity to look at Sherlock's formative relationships before John.  

Who got more screen time than they maybe should: Maybe Eurus would have been more effective in TFP if we'd seen a bit less of her?  Like with Moriarty, part of why he is so scary and thrilling and fun is that he hardly has any scenes, but the ones we get have tremendous impact.  

What drew me to it: Some friends put it on my radar, but this stellar review in the New Yorker is mostly why I finally sat down to watch.  Well, that plus @elizabethminkel‘s article + personal essay about it in The Millions.

What kept me watching: Above all, the visuals. It's just much more dazzlingly well-shot than anything I'd seen on TV, though since then other shows have copied many of its techniques. But clever-yet-thoughtful writing makes it more than just a surface pleasure, and then Benedict's performance as Sherlock is simply addictive to watch.

If I would recommend it: I can't really recommend it anymore because I can't actually talk about it with anyone who isn't a superfan, for fear of looking like a crazed obsessive (which I am).  I just don't think I'm the best spokesperson for the show at this point, lol.  I'm more the wild-eyed acolyte.

[qqueenofhades]

There it is! I've been trying to figure out what Gabriel is being jealous about since c.11/12. If he's jealous of Flynn because Gabriel's also falling for Lucy; or if he's jealous of Flynn for having someone who adores him in spite of everything; or if he's jealous of Lucy because she has Flynn's love & devotion. I feel like it's a tumultuous mix of everything. But if I were Gabriel, estranged from my brother and denying missing him for centuries, I'd be incensed if some newbie shows up in my

my ancestral domain, and effortlessly commandeers my brother’s attention and loyalties. Yeah, that’ll definitely cause some existential crisis, wrestling with multipronged jealousy! Hope we’ll get to see a Gabriel POV somehow. Why are you making these trashy vampires so relatable?! I feel their pain! And that goodbye hug he gave Flynn?! Oh, Gabriel, Flynn misses you, too! I can’t wait to see how you’re going to fix things between the brothers! Thanks for gifting the fandom with this gem!

Ahahaha. So, uh, who wants a shit ton of Gabriel meta, because I have Many Feelings about this trash man and his Feelings and his general Mess-ness? Which we could probably have seen coming, but anyway?

So…. yes. We learned more about Gabriel’s human life this past chapter, which was that he had a wife, but he was a really crappy husband and wasn’t there for her when their children died and only cared that she hadn’t given him an heir and (like most Roman aristocratic men) was not in the least faithful to her. And he now realizes just how lonely she was and what he put her through, and still feels guilty about that, because he himself is so lonely that he can’t stand it and has been that way since 1762 (when his son was murdered and the Matej disaster happened and he was permanently estranged from Flynn). Gabriel clings to his mask and persona of being super successful and rich and cultured and living in Paris and working as an art dealer with billionaires and museums and so on, and he speaks tons of languages and does charity work and makes everyone else feel inadequate about themselves. So to the outside, everyone thinks he’s perfect and successful and great, but…. this man has been a solitary, heartbroken, bereaved mess who barely speaks to his family for 250+ years, lost his son, lost his brother, lost his father, and is completely unable to fix that and just isolates more. His only real company has been Houdini, who lives with him in Paris and works as his butler, and he’s had… half a relationship with his niece Jiya, which is fraught for various reasons (I wrote them in this fic prompt). But really. That’s it. He’s very, very alone despite the glitz and glamour and money.

Then he goes to Sept-Tours because Garcia has brought a goddamn witch home, because Maria called him in a panic, since the family blames witches for preventing them from rescuing Asher from the Nazis, and it’s just this…. mess of things that have never been resolved and which brings out the most painful parts of their pasts. Because we’ve also learned that turning his son Christian in the 9th century was a) when Gabriel finally understood the loss of Iris and the pain that was driving Flynn to get revenge, and b) when Flynn himself became human again and stopped being this violent bloodthirsty out-of-control force of chaos, who until that point had required all of Asher and Gabriel’s efforts to hold back. So Christian was this thing that healed their family and he was in some ways Flynn’s son too, even if he couldn’t face up to actually being a father right thing or really having it or anything else after losing Iris. And that was when Gabriel saw something different in him and they bonded very quickly and it was literally almost overnight after centuries of Flynn being, well, the height of Garbage Flynn and acting like a wrecking ball.

And after that came Gabriel and Garcia’s medieval knight days, where they were super close and together all the time and fighting together and having adventures and whatever else and… they loved each other so much and Garcia gave up his chance of finishing Michael Temple in 1307, after they killed Gerbert of Aurillac, in order to save Gabriel’s life. Even if Garcia never agreed to Gabriel’s threesome shenanigan suggestions (except for a memorable few times) because he is a turtle allergic to getting laid, they were each other’s everything – as Gabriel calls him, “my companion and my soul.” They resented Wyatt joining the family in 1179 because they felt that they were fine as they were, they didn’t need anyone else, and Wyatt never really felt accepted by them or included in their activities (which was why he became bros with Christian instead). That of course still plays out now when they’re all estranged from each other, because they never made a proper effort to include Wyatt or tell him anything, and it’s biting them in the butt.

Then of course came the eighteenth century, and the Matej tragedy, which Gabriel blames himself viciously because he chose Garcia and Garcia’s lover and committing active treason for seven years, over the entire rest of the family, and it got his son killed as a result. There are just so many layers to that betrayal and to that heartbreak and the way he feels it can’t ever be mended. Because Garcia still tried to save Matej after he was shot, and turned him into a monster because the siring went wrong, and Gabriel had to kill him as a result. After that, Gabriel and Garcia had an almighty battle where they almost killed each other for real (it’s noted that they both still have scars from that fight) and their relationship just… absolutely never recovered. They went from being together every waking moment to barely seeing each other for decades at a time, because they couldn’t face or come to terms with the scale of the emotional and physical damage. Then Flynn turned Jiya in 1888, and Gabriel is like “well that’s nice you get to have a child again when you’re the reason I lost mine,” and then Asher gets murdered by the Nazis in 1944, which is the last straw for this poor family since Asher held them together through most of this, and….yeah.

So by the time Lucy gets there, Gabriel is being forced to face his darkest deja-vu (because the last time Garcia brought a lover to Sept-Tours, obviously everything went to hell) and is exasperated with Flynn for doing it again and afraid that it’s going to be a repeat of last time.  But then, because he is a Trash Tragedy Boy and they have a type, he can’t help falling for Lucy too, and yet she has marched into their house and effortlessly wrapped Flynn around her finger, and he has resentful feelings about that. Like, why does she get to have that when I can’t? Why does this outsider, this witch, get this and bring this danger and we’re still going along with it? Because Gabriel misses Flynn until he can’t stand it, but he also just can’t forgive everything that happened with Matej, and they’re both so terrible at talking about their feelings and they are both so hurt that they just can’t fix these cumulative decades/centuries of estrangement and solitude and pain. Gabriel loves Flynn to distraction and he has for 1100+ years, but that’s also why he can’t just handwave away the consequences of what happened – even while realizing that he’s about to do it again, he’s about to pick Flynn’s side and Flynn’s war over all the more sensible options, even after what it cost him last time. And he just… can’t deal with that. And he’s been hurt by Temple, and he’s bitterly jealous of Flynn and Lucy getting together, and… yeah.

So the answer to your question is definitely “all of the above.” He’s jealous of Flynn and he’s jealous of Lucy and he’s jealous of them together and he’s heartbroken over what he’s lost and the way he feels he’s the biggest failure in the whole family, because he’s the oldest son and the head of the family and the grandmaster of the Knights of Lazarus and he has so many talents and so much money and yet…. he has still let this happen. He has no one to turn to, he can’t fix things with his brother who he loves more than anyone in the world, he is exasperated at said bonehead brother for starting this mess with the witch, he has feelings for the witch that he did not expect at all, he just lost it when she was kidnapped and was willing to do anything to save her, he’s been badly hurt by Temple, and it is just So Many Degrees of Nuclear Mess. So Many.

…anyway. Yes. My Gabriel Feelings are legion, and he has acquired quite a fan club, which pleases me. We will have to see what the hell these idiots do now.

[on-literal-mars]

AHHHHH OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ITS FINALLY POSTED. FINALLY AFTER M O N T H S!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21388198

The first chapter of Beverlys part is officially posted which means that the story had officially begun!! In honor of it being out, here is some fan art I did for my own work (meta, I know) a small excerpt from chapter one, and a deleted scene from the first Draft that I would’ve put in if it didn’t conflict with the story.

The drawing of her at the sink is a scene that is no longer in the story :( still very fun to draw tho.

Now on to the honorable mentions:

It was after school and the four of them piled up in Richie and Bills room and messed around. "Tell me again, I promise last time." Ben asks. "H-hitler was a p-penis p-p-potato, s-so I guh-guess you c-could call h-him a..." Bill gestures for Ben to finish it. "Ben your such a dumbass." Bev points out laughing. "God I can feel my skin wrinkling"-"Shut up Richie! I got this, okay? Trust the process." Ben says. "A...Dick-Tater?" They all laugh and clap. "Finally! And it only took a hundred years!" Richie jokes.

"H-hey, Do y-you guys th-think the world is g-g-gonna end in th-the year 2000?" Bill asks. Beverly shrugs, she'd never thought about it before. "Probably." Ben says. "Before I came here a lot of people at my church were saying so." He continues. "So basically we've got five years to live?" Richie says. Ben nods, Richie pops the most shit eating grin. "All the more reason to fuck shit up." He says.

"I'm down with that, I'd rather die at twenty then have to live to be thirty." Beverly says. A collective chill went throughout the room, thirty. "Wuh-What year w-would we b-be forty? T-2020? Th-thats cr-crazy." Bill stutters out. "Okay can we stop talking about being old and shit? Let's just agree we're all gonna die at twenty after fucking shit up and getting in trouble, alright?" Bev exclaims. "Agreed." The boys said together.

And finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for ... chapter one:

Her aunt ends up sending her to a mutant summer camp in some shitty town down in Delaware. The only good thing about it had been the drive. They drove through Delaware last year when they were coming from Chattanooga. But camp sucked ass. Most of the kids there hadn't gone willingly so she was surrounded by whiney brats all summer. She walked away with the knowledge that she could inflict physical pain onto anyone just by focusing on them. She thinks about how lame summer '95 was now as she falls in line with other kids getting a tour of The Jean Grey School For Higher Learning. It was beautiful, banners hung from every wall displaying the school colors proudly. It was cool inside considering it was still August, yet a deep warmth buzzed in the air.

If you’d like more context on this lol, click the link and read on!!

[misstomadame]

I love you Tokyo.

But most of all I love your food.

As I’ve mentioned before, my husband and I went on a HUGE summer vacation this year. Japan was actually our first destination which took place in the beginning of July and we ended the month with our 10 day trip to Guadeloupe.

Guadeloupe Blog & Full Details: Guadeloupe Blog Post

Guadeloupe VLOG: Watch the Guadeloupe vlog here!

What you might not know is that we didn’t just decide on going to Japan randomly!

Watch full Tokyo food tour here: Visiting Tokyo VLOG – What we ate!!

Our main reason for going was to visit Gaylor’s oldest brother Sydney, who has been living in Japan for 10 years now. We really do have family alllll over the world!

My mom/my family in Florida…

Processed with VSCO with kt32 preset

Processed with VSCO with kt32 preset

Gaylor and I and his parents in France…

Processed with VSCO with kx4 preset

Processed with VSCO with ih5 preset

My other brother in law Funch and his girlfriend Jessica in London but soon Canada?!

Funch and Jessica

Brother and Sister in law

and Sydney in Japan….

Literally all over the world.

We went to Japan for 7 days with honestly the smallest amount of preparation ever. We didn’t want to overwhelm ourselves with too much planning and scheduling…in addition to the fact that we decided to stay in Tokyo for the whole trip instead of venturing to some of the other top destinations in Japan (we’ll save those for next time).

We took this time to just enjoy being in Tokyo with Sydney, and we also celebrated our two year wedding anniversary while we were there! ❤

and what did we learn during our trip…

Tokyo has great food.

Here’s what we ate/did:

Okonomyaki at: Sakura Tei

According to wikipedia: “Okonomiyaki is a Japanese savory pancake containing a variety of ingredients. The name is derived from the word okonomi, meaning “how you like” or “what you like”, and yaki meaning “cooked”. Okonomiyaki is mainly associated with the Kansai or Hiroshima areas of Japan, but is widely available throughout the country.”

Sakura Tei Tokyo

Sakura Tei Tokyo

Sakura Tei Tokyo

Yakitori @: Toriyoshi Akasaka

The Japanese version of bbq, looks simple but was so so good… especially because this restaurant was all you can eat and we did that just that…

Toriyoshi Akasaka

Toriyoshi Akasaka

Toriyoshi Akasaka

Toriyoshi Akasaka

Toriyoshi Akasaka

Toriyoshi Akasaka

Toriyoshi Akasaka

Toriyoshi Akasaka

Toriyoshi Akasaka

Toriyoshi Akasaka

Toriyoshi Akasaka

Toriyoshi Akasaka

Toriyoshi Akasaka

Toriyoshi Akasaka

Ramen @: Got Subo

My brother in law brought us here because his friend is a chef at this restaurant. I’m not even exactly sure if it’s considered an actual restaurant because it’s pretty much like a small bar with about 5/6 bar stools along the counter where people eat quickly and go. (There are actually a lot of places like this in Tokyo)

Oh, and your order ramen from a vending machine outside!

SO COOL.

Gotsubo Tokyo | Ramen

  Gotsubo Tokyo | Ramen

I always thought of Ramen as this…..

But turns out you haven’t had real ramen until you’ve had ramen that looks and tastes like…..

THIS.

  Gotsubo Tokyo | Ramen

Deff. the best thing I had in Tokyo besides sushi and sashimi of course. We’ll get to that soon…

Udon @: Taniya Ningyocho

Udon in tokyo

Takoyaki:

You won’t have a hard time finding this at all. Typical Street food, easy to find anywhere!

Takoyaki Tokyo

Takoyaki Tokyo

Tsukiji Fish Market:

You haven’t had sashimi until you’ve had it here. 

Tsukiji fish market

Tsukiji fish market

Tsukiji fish market

Tsukiji fish market

tsukiji market

tsukiji market

Sake at Kurand sake market @: Kurand Sake Ueno

Unlimited self serve sake for 30euros!

It was the perfect way to be able to try literally any kind of sake and discover all of the different flavors/styles that are available. Endless options and drinking lol.

Kurand Sake Market Ueno

Kurand Sake Market Ueno

Kurand Sake Market Ueno

Kurand Sake Market Ueno

Kurand Sake Market Ueno

Sushi. Of course @: Sushi Midori

What surprised me most is the ratio between the fish and the rice. They are deff cheating us every where else, the fish is HUGE in japan and the rice is small.

Every where else the rice wins. Hmmm.

Midori Sushi Tokyo

Midori Sushi Tokyo

Midori Sushi Tokyo

Midori Sushi Tokyo

Burgers? @: Burger Mania Ebisu

It shocked me when I asked my brother in law what his favorite food in Tokyo was and he said burgers…

but I understood after eating.

burger mania Ebisu

burger mania Ebisu

burger mania Ebisu

burger mania Ebisu

Rainbow things @: Kawaii Monster Cafe

Honestly, not worth all the hype.

I was so excited to go to this cafe after seeing all the cool insta posts from influencers…

It’s funny now, but my husband and I felt completely out of place haha.

Literally felt like Chuck E Cheese- Tokyo Style. Maybe it’d be worth it to go back one day once we have children though!

Kawaii Monster Cafe

Kawaii Monster Cafe

Kawaii Monster Cafe

Kobe Beef @: Mon cher ton ton Rappongi

Naturally, I saved the best for last.

This was our 2 years anniversary gift to ourselves and although it was on the pricier side, it was well worth it.

I might have lied when I said the ramen and sushi were my favorite. It’s ok to have a few favorites though right?

Mon Cher ton ton rappongi

Mon Cher ton ton rappongi

Mon Cher ton ton rappongi

Mon Cher ton ton rappongi

Mon Cher ton ton rappongi

Mon Cher ton ton rappongi

Mon Cher ton ton rappongi

Mon Cher ton ton rappongi

Mon Cher ton ton rappongi

Mon Cher ton ton rappongi

Mon Cher ton ton rappongi

All I gotta say it… (like many things in Japan).

You haven’t had beef until you’ve had Kobe beef and you haven’t had Kobe beef until you’ve had it in Japan!

If this post didn’t make you hungry I don’t know what will.

Brb. Gonna go eat now.

As always thanks for reading.

xx Shalize

Visiting Tokyo, Japan: Where we ate! I love you Tokyo. But most of all I love your food. As I've mentioned before, my husband and I went on a HUGE summer vacation this year.

[princessyennenga]

The Left Hand Rocks the Cradles - Chapter 2

Previously ...

Scott adjusted his blazer around his shoulders with a shrug.

“Someone with your talents should just accept that offer at a larger, reputable and profitable paper where she can build on the potential for a career legacy. Instead of chasing followers, likes and shares.”

After another 30 minutes, Iris had filled more pages with notes and quotes about the new hospital wing. After working this room, and Scott working her nerves, she was ready to wrap up this assignment. Then the message notification jingled on her phone and re-energized her. It was Barry. Instead of texting a reply, she stole away to a quiet spot near a water fountain and called him back.

“Hi Babe. So good to hear your voice,” Iris breathed.

“Oh yeah?” she could hear Barry’s face open up into a smile on the other end.

“Of course. You're my sunshine,” Iris laughed lightly, still touched that he appreciated her love so much.

“I do my best. So I take it that means your press conference and tour went well?” he said. Iris could hear the clink of heavy glass in the background. A young girl's voice rasped ‘Daddy. Dad! We don't have enough nitric--’ For a brief moment, Barry was distracted, probably by Nora wanting to ‘help’ him with his backlog of cases.

“Hang on just a second Iris, OK?” Iris gave him gave leave to help their daughter, the time traveler, get situated to begin her first round of analysis and reports for the day. He returned with a sigh.

“Just had to get Nora --”

“Situated, yeah, I understand. Listen, you’ll probably need to supervise her, so I’ll let you go --”

“Not so fast, Mrs. West-Allen!” he chided softly. “Catch me up on how things are going. I know you were wondering if Scrat Evans was going to show up …”

“It’s Scott, Barry,” Iris corrected, only half sternly. “And we agreed to take the high road about me having to see him for work every now and then, right? We're not going to be seventh grade about this?”

“Oh yeah! High road. Completely!” Barry assured so earnestly Iris could feel green eyes widen and his head nod. “I mean, I have no reason to dislike the guy. Feel bad for him, actually. Denied!” 

“Barry ...”

“He couldn’t even get a second date … and that coffee at Jitters was technically a story meeting, and not … ”

Just then Iris saw an elegant Black woman with thick salt and pepper hair, cut stylishly short, come into view just 20 feet away.

“Barry, I promise to fill you in when I get to S.T.A.R. Labs later,” Iris said. “I just spotted Theresa Merkel, and she would be good for the article.”

After Barry signed off with few endearments, Iris adjusted the strap of her large tote bag over her shoulder and bobbed through the crowd until she reached Theresa Merkel.

“Mrs. West-Allen. Hello again,” Theresa nodded calmly. “I didn't realize your coverage included the healthcare sector.”

Iris and Theresa exchanged greetings, but not too many pleasantries or small talk. Still, there was no awkwardness between them as Iris got straight to her questions.

“Mrs. Merkel, there was a small footnote near the back of the expansion budget report --” Iris said.

“The budget report?” Theresa was taken aback. “But financials are confidential. How did you obtain …?”

“Just. Connections, I guess,” Iris shrugged.

“And incredible resourcefulness! Well, continue.”

“It was a $13 million line item denoted by ‘PM’ …” Iris said. As she talked, Theresa’s mood shifted noticeably, but not toward hostility. She nodded slowly and took a soft, deep breath, and for a brief second Iris registered a very similar feeling to the one she read from Cecile when Jenna had kept her up for much of the night.

“Yes, well. A $13 million budget item, in my view, was a starting point to address some of the issues that have come to light in Central City recently,” she sighed. “I was not the only hospital board member to realize that many lives have been touched and changed in many ways. More than we can understand.”

Iris looked slightly puzzled, but before she could ask any more questions, a well-built man, fashionably bald, came along and looked eager to steal Theresa’s attention. Theresa recognized him instantly, as ‘Donovan,’ and excused herself from Iris. ‘More than we can understand’ echoed in Iris’ mind as she shook hands with several more hospital staff members while making her way to the coat rack. Most of the journalists for the city’s two largest newspapers had already fled to their offices to write up what they considered fluff pieces before moving on to meatier stories. Their hospital items might get boiled down to a full-page story in the Picture News, or a quick photo story leading the City section of the Central City Tribune, the city’s premiere broadsheet. 

The phrase was reminiscent of what Barry, or The Flash, then The Streak, had told Iris during their first rendezvous on the Jitters rooftop. As she tried to pry out of him how he could do what he did, he answered

‘There’s more to this than you can understand.’

Iris had felt slightly challenged by his answer. How did he know what she was capable of understanding and what concepts were beyond her grasp? His answer, almost a dismissal had fired her curiosity to really dig into who he was. It led Iris to a world of metas.

Barry was right when he excitedly drew a circle around that dot on his equation board in circle around that dot on his equation board in his CCPD lab. The particle accelerator had opened an entire field of science that Central City, and the world, were just beginning to explore.

‘Fully understand.’ Was Theresa Merkel saying that there is a $13 million pediatric meta research facility here? At the children’s hospital?! It was a theory that, if proven to be true, would impact the lives of every citizen of this city, population 1.7 million. A story like that would finally put the Central City Citizen on the map as more than just a “citizen journalist” blog, or “amateur researcher’s” blog or … the “how funny” blog, as Iris had overheard a few hardened career women describe her publication at networking events.      Iris pulled her jacket off the coat rack and rushed out of the hospital. She had her own fluff pieces and bigger stories to plan.

After an easier ride away from the hospital, Iris was energized. She stopped at Jitters to find a quiet, familiar spot so that she could focus. She ordered a chai latte and a small scone, then settled into a favorite spot near one of the tall windows. The winter sun easily reached through bare trees and poured through the uncovered glass windows, warming Iris so much that she had to shake off the duster that she wore over her long-sleeved, wrap silk blouse. She set her phone to 'Do Not Disturb' and opened her laptop. After almost an hour, Iris sat up high in her chair and stretched. She posted a 750-word story to Google Docs for her freelance editor, Julie Greer, to pick up and review. Then she picked up feature stories a couple of college stringers had turned in: a profile on a tattoo artist, and an organization bidding for a paralympic training camp. Over the next 90 minutes Iris swiftly edited the two stringer’s stories and passed them to Julie for a second read. Then they would be placed in the queue for posting, both to the main Web site and to subscribers’ e-newsletters. Another 30 minutes went by as Iris checked emails: a programmer had sent a link for a sample redesign; Emmet, the commission-only ad sales rep had great news about a rideshare service and fashion subscription Website.

And then a peculiar message: one from Theresa Merkel. Actually, her executive assistant. Iris leaned closer to her screen and craned her neck, taken aback at the outreach. Just as she had clicked it open and begun to read it, her video chat app intruded.

“MOM!!” Nora’s brown eyes wide with agitation, blocked the message. “Dad and I have been trying to reach you for the past hour. Where are you? What’s going on? Why is you phone going to voicemail??”

Then Barry’s face slid into the frame, his brows furrowed and his eyes peering into the lens. Iris suppressed a laugh behind her hand. Her adorable nerd husband forgot -- again -- that lenses do not always give up the secrets on the other end.

“I’m sorry, guys,” Iris uncovered her mouth. “Work got away from me a little bit.”

“Hey, no schr---!” Nora fired back.

“Nora!” Barry’s stern tone checked Nora’s language, but not her exuberance.

“Of course. Sorry Mom. But we have lunch plans, remember?” Nora said, glancing back at Barry. “You can’t just go offline for half the morning and not let us know. It’s like Dad says, ‘all family plans come first’.”  

Iris launched into a flurry of apologies as she snapped her laptop shut and collected the pens, notebooks and papers fanned out on the table. Just as she stood up and slid into her duster and camel hair coat, Iris heard the sound of a toddler giggling and babbling. She didn’t see a child, but noticed a brownie float off of another patron's plate, who was so distracted by her own phone that she barely noticed the brazen theft. Then, a young woman bustled past Iris' table, looking frantic. The alarm in the woman's face crested when she saw the dessert seemingly float away on its own. The young woman smacked the food away, causing it to hit the floor. She feigned clumsiness and apologized profusely to the woman who was sitting behind the empty plate, slapping a bill down on the table to pay for a replacement. Iris' interest is piqued when she noticed the young woman looking at the front door, as three more customers pushed the door wide open and walk in. The young woman hurriedly followed the swinging door and looked around. Then, thinking that no one had noticed her, she crouched down and appeared to grab thin air with her hand.

“Barry, Nora, I might be a little late for lunch …”

“Iris, come on! I haven’t seen you all day,” Barry took over the video chat while Nora was in the background grabbing their jackets. Of course, he had seen her just several hours ago, that morning, but to a speedster a few hours felt interminable. 

“Is it the blog relaunch,” he asked, “because you have to be careful not to overwork yourself.”

“No, no Barry, I’m on to something here,” then Iris lowered her voice to a whisper. “Of the *dark matter* variety …”

“Oh! Look, Iris be careful …”

“I will, I will,” Iris said hurriedly, and began to follow the young woman outside from a safe distance. “Look, Barry I have to follow up on this, but I’ll fill you in when I see you a little later. For lunch. Promise.”

After a round of “I love yous” Iris dashed off. She followed the young woman down a busy street, which was beginning to thicken with lunchtime crowds. Every now and then her arm appeared to lift away from her body, tugging her wildly. A couple of times the young woman stopped and looked around her, while Iris hid in a doorway. Finally, the young woman turned at the entrance to a quiet alley, where she crouched down again. She spoke quietly but firmly to *someone* until the air in front of her shimmered and a small child, about three or four years old, appeared. The young woman sighed and spoke to the child again, stroking his arm warmly. Then she took the child by the hand and they walked to a luxury sedan, where she buckled him into a carseat. Iris stayed out of sight as she watched the mother hand over a juice box before buckling herself in and pulling away.

[giarts]

Celebrating Juneteenth with Black Artists!

Submitted by admin on June 18, 2020

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It’s a great holiday to be sharing with each of you today, Juneteenth! As we gather – remotely – to honor and celebrate the power and jubilation of this day, liberation for ancestors and elders, we hope to echo the voices and experiences of Black artists who have brought us joy, made us feel seen, challenged, supported, and taught us so much. We come here with deep gratitude and deeper commitment to investing in a future of liberation for Black peoples everywhere.

Today, we join many of you commemorating the emancipation of enslaved folks in the U.S. and working toward an equitable and just field and future. This Juneteenth, the GIA team offers some reflections on personal experiences with a Black artist who has contributed to our lives.

We hope our reflections inspire sharing of your stories with Black artists who have been central in your life.

From Sherylynn

I could write an entire book on Black art, art while Black, and how inspiring it is.

Black artists continue to create despite the fact that creating art while living in a Black body will always be “a political statement.” If your art leans too much into the Black experience or is too Afro-futurist, it’s radical or controversial. If it leans too much into the Eurocentric style, it’s political because “what makes you think you belong in this space?” Yet still, we keep creating art to teach, heal, entertain, find solace and fulfillment, and spread joy. I love that.

Jean-Michel Basquiat said it best, “I don’t listen to what art critics say. I don’t know anybody who needs a critic to find out what art is.”

Thank you, Black artists. Keep creating unapologetically. Here is to more life and more freedom, (raises glass), Happy Juneteenth!

From Carmen

As I write these words, Prince and Janet Jackson take turns in my Spotify. I can’t decide which of them has been more influential in my life, since as a die-hard music lover, I grew up with both as MTV and VH1 filled my after-school hours.

Video after video, Janet taught me many dance moves and, in doing so, she taught me so much about confidence and joy. In my senior year, I took many of those lessons and translated them to an interpretation of one of her classics, “If.” Back then I asked four friends to dance with me and we spent many afternoons rehearsing our choreography. I remember feeling that Janet’s strength and energy got directly into my soul when I took the stage.

Queen Janet is still queen Janet in my life. I would have seen her for the first time this year, but her Black Diamond tour is one of those that lost to the cancellations due to the coronavirus pandemic. I’m still heartbroken (insert “That’s the Way Love Goes” for this moment in my life’s soundtrack), but I’m hopeful I’ll be able to dance with her someday, even if it’s from a very far away seat.

Photo by Manu Kumar on Unsplash

Songs from Prince like “Nothing Compares to You,” on the other hand, are equally integral to my soundtrack. I would daydream thinking that the love of my life would dedicate lyrics to me like the ones in “The Most Beautiful Girl in the World.” I still love that video and its diverse cast of women because I saw myself in many of them!

His death in 2016 left me with a void (similar to how I felt when David Bowie died earlier that year), but Prince’s memoir, “The Beautiful Ones,” has provided me a special way to connect with that beautiful – and complex – mind.

As I write this brief love letter to two of my greatest inspirations I cannot help wanting to sing and dance my heart away (in a very fashionable way, of course).

From Sylvia

I AM (HEAR), directed by Olympia Perez

Black Trans Media is an organization run by Sasha Alexander and Olympia Perez for the Black trans and gender nonconforming community – one of the few organizations run by, and in service and support of the Black trans and GNC community. Sasha officially founded the organization in 2013 to shift and reframe the worth and value of Black trans people everywhere through media, art, advocacy, and community organizing, but I have known Sasha since 2004, and they were making space and time for racial and gender justice and liberation long before we even met. Thank you for being part of my family and for the adventures through the years and always driving me home because I don’t have a license (I will not give away more dates because Sasha and I have aged very well and we have reputations to uphold).

From Yessica

circa 2005.

I was so fresh, I mean perm fresh (really a relaxer. IF you know, you know).

I entered a lecture hall in a college, not my own, in upstate NY somewhere. I listened to the words of Professor Kaba Hiawatha Kamene, words that would bend my world, and force me to forge a new path. Teaching me that unlearning is only the beginning and probably the hardest to do. Realizing what I had learned in so many classrooms before this one didn’t stick because it wasn’t our truth. You said to never fear and continue to plant seeds for we do not know which ones will sprout. 15 years later, I still remember the conversations we had in that room, and look at how far I’ve come. I am eternally grateful. The warrior in me honors the warrior in you. Onward and forward, with love and light, Professor Kaba Hiawatha Kamene, Meta Netur Scholar.

From Champ

“Christ You Know it Ain’t Easy!!” was the title of the show that introduced me to Deborah Grant’s work in 2014, but it could be a mantra for many of us – any of us – and you know what I mean by that. She contains multitudes, and everything is grist for her mill. “Everything in life is accessible and it needs to be looked at over and over and over again” she says, and “The key is how well you transform those aspects into something that is unique and of your own hand. If you are going to steal, then DO IT WELL!” Her sources and allusions and motifs range everywhere through art and culture and history; she breaks down the labels that are used to segregate one set of experiences from another. I can’t say it better than John Yau: “There is nothing essentialist about Grant’s investigation of identity, but what she does is essential.”

Installation view, Deborah Grant, The Birth of a Genius in a Midnight Sun, 2012. Photo by Tyler Green, Modern Art Notes Podcast.

From Steve

John Coltrane was the last giant of jazz. But he was my first meaningful touchstone. I arrived in college with plans to eventually get a seat in a symphony, pull together a basket of students, maybe a find a steady teaching job. I was well-versed as I could have been in the classics. My jazz experience was limited to the big bands my parents enjoyed from their youth. And that didn’t conflict or expand upon my notion of musicianship as a virtuosic effort. Hit every note, nail the auditions, win the seat. Perfection.

So it was a surprise to me that I quickly began to gravitate toward the jazzers. They spoke a new language around music that elevated expression and feeling and connection. So I jumped in and John Coltrane was the first landing.

He wasn’t a revolutionary, though he recorded with Cecil Taylor. He wasn’t a be-bopper or a hard-bopper, though he came into himself through those musics. He was a devotee and a tenacious seeker. The patriarchs of his family were preachers, and he internalized their cadence and modulation and made that his music.

He was spiritual and humble, so confidence was difficult for him even though he was playing next to Miles and Monk in their respective bands which were at the top of the jazz world. He couldn’t immerse himself in spectacle of stardom because he felt that he had to work on his own thing. Following a performance, Miles and the guys would find the party and come back to their hotel the next day to find Trane asleep with his horn in his mouth.

On Kind of Blue, you can hear him finding higher gears in the sublime modal music of Miles and Bill Evans. On Giant Steps you hear him shift into those gears. He would speed through the last seven years of his life recording what seemed like an album every month. By the release of one he was disappearing over the horizon. In 1964, he disappeared to his home in Dix Hills, New York, and emerged a few weeks later with A Love Supreme, the record that was my introduction to Trane. It is reasonably considered the greatest jazz record ever made. Everything that followed would challenge and divide the critics and fans. His music was entirely a personal and spiritual endeavor.

He barely noticed when the critics complained that he was riding on his previous fame while making “unlistenable” music (a widely-held perspective that I don’t agree with). He barely noticed that he was terminally ill.

He’s called the last giant because the music called jazz became a niche in the cultural landscape; African-American folklore to be studied in music school. His genius was undeniable. But his important late-period work could be hard to digest. For most, it took an act of faith to sit through 40-minute doses of group improvisation. After Trane’s death, Miles went towards Rock (a scandal of its own) and the music seemed to lose most of its casual audience and mainstream exposure.

My exploration of his music was not casual. I grabbed anything I could get and once or twice I took it in from start to finish. It is a remarkable trajectory over a short period of time. And it changed me. I saw the act of artmaking very differently after finding Coltrane.

From Eddie

Fred Wilson is an artist who changed my life through his work. Fred interrogates unspoken assumptions that inform museum display – what we choose to reveal and what we choose to conceal – as his artistic strategy. Using existing objects – oftentimes objects that are not displayed to the public – and placing them in relation to objects that are often displayed, he reveals how institutions conceal histories of racialized treatment of people. In this way, Fred’s exploration of race and racism is through revelatory critique of institutional practices.

In the words of Angelique Power, president of the Field Foundation of Illinois, “People use racial equity as a substitute for diversity… Racial equity is about shifting power and resources. It involves dismantling AND rebuilding systems. This is an important point since for many of us it stops with dismantling; rebuilding involves shifting resources and power, acknowledging history, and in some ways rethinking history that you have been told and, from that lens, building something new.”

My first real exposure to institutional and historical critique – and critiques of systems – was through Fred’s art.

Fred changed my life in another essential way. He was the first director of Longwood Art Gallery, located in the South Bronx. After years of his leadership, he stepped aside for a new era under Betti-Sue Hertz (who hired me as her gallery manager when I was still a college student). Fred continued to periodically visit to see exhibits as well as lend his name and his work to our efforts to raise funds and increase our profile.

Through Fred, I had a model of a person of color from the Bronx who engaged the art world on terms that were his own. I am humbled and grateful to know him. Thank you, Fred.

From Nadia

I knew of Kara Walker’s brilliant and critical work, art reshaping narratives, meanings subtle and bold, long before I saw it in person. The first instance was upon arriving at graduate school. I was met by Walker in a two-story tall mural transcending the open stair. It was a piece that provoked dialogue amongst students in a private, (self-identified) Marxist institution (quite a juxtaposition to navigate already) about race (the besieged topic of non-discussion amongst solely-class-based social analysis). The space Walker’s piece created was unlike the other white-walled boxes where “Art” was made. It was a space pressing us with histories politely avoided and self-reflections sidestepped.

Photo by metacynic, Flickr, Kara Walker’s “A Subtlety,” 2014.

The second time I got to experience Walker’s art was closer to home. Living adjacent to the in/famed Brooklyn neighborhood of Williamsburg (both North and South, there is a difference), I got to visit the former Domino Sugar Factory where “A Subtlety, or the Marvelous Sugar Baby” was installed for a several weeks in the midst of local struggle around gentrification, privatization, fare wages, and the fight for self-determination in Black and Brown communities, among others.

I share these stories of my time with Walker’s art because it feels like no coincidence that the timing corresponded with my learnings about systems change. The physical embodiment of that work was so apparent in Walker’s forms. The inescapability was palpable. The lessons still ongoing.

Posted by admin on June 18, 2020 at 03:04PM. Read the full post.

[irish-urn]

The MCUC - Iron Man

Alright. So me and @cracklepopme are participating in what I’m calling the MCU Challenge (or, as @cracklepopme (who shall henceforth be named “Crackle”) called it, The MCUC), which is that thing the internet posted about watching one MCU movie a week to bring us to Infinity Wars (see here). And, since it is me, I have made notes, especially considering how they flow together and thematic elements of characters and movie arcs. And so:

Week One of The MCUC: Iron Man

First, I think it’s important for me to explain how I was introduced to the MCU, which was with this movie... 8? years ago... So I guess 2009. My high school had Spirit Week (if I remember correctly), and we went to see Iron Man as part of it. I had never heard of it, and so I asked my friends if they knew what it was about. And one of my acquaintances (because I don’t really consider him a friend) told me it was about an engineer who built a suit.

...In hindsight, he wasn’t wrong, but still. I went in with extremely low expectations, and came out with a heart full of excitement. And I have been hooked on the MCU ever since.

So! Iron Man. WHAT A GREAT MOVIE and what an excellent way to introduce us to the MCU, which, I think does an amazing job of trying to make superheroes real to us. And starting it off with a “civilian” in a war-zone, for me at least, always gave me a sense of reality even with all the... “outlandish and fantastic” (to quote Tony Stark) of their world. Something that will probably come up again when we reach The Avengers, is how I have always appreciated their efforts to make these heroes *human*. They get tired, they have flaws, they aren’t perfect, but they are always trying and always moving forward. And I think Tony Stark is perhaps the best example of this: because he is so imperfect but keeps trying and trying and trying.

Thoughts during the movie:

Why does Rhodey call Tony a mentor? What the hell has Tony mentored him? I want backstory and explanation, especially since the rest of the movie is mostly Rhodey trying to wrangle Tony. Honestly, Rhodes, were you just being kind for the award?

Forward to the torture scene, where Tony hears Pepper call his name. “You’re all I have, you know.” I mean, you see it in every one of their interactions, their honest care and affection for each other, but Pepper calling Tony by his name (and how often has she called him Tony at this point? What has he done before to warrant her calling him in this way?) at his lowest point really drives it home. Pepper asks Tony to keep going, even if it’s just the Pepper Potts in his mind, and so he does. Man, like. That’s love there, you guys.

Yinsen: so much more sarcastic and challenging then I remember him being. I always thought of him as being soft-spoken and gentle, and while he is certainly gentle at heart, he is no pushover. He is constantly challenging Tony -- if not always mentally (although he certainly holds his own there), then morally and ethically. He questions Tony’s motives, his purpose, his rationale -- which is exactly what Tony needs to survive in this environment!! It’s also a push out of his comfort level -- and I mean that from an emotional and moral standpoint -- and makes him think.

There are also very clear parallels between Tony/Yinsen and Steve/Erskine. Both older men challenge the younger to rise to another level by seeing the potential in these men -- Tony is a moral rising whereas Steve is more of a physical rising -- but both heroes spend the rest of the movie (and arguably, their arc so far in the MCU) trying to be the men that their mentors have challenged them to be. “Don’t waste it; don’t waste your life,” Yinsen tells Tony; and so Tony will spend the rest of making sure it’s a life worth living. That he leaves a legacy worth remembering.

(”Legacy; what is a legacy?” Lin Manuel-Miranda asks us in Hamilton; and it’s for sure something Tony struggles with over and over and over again.)

OFF TOPIC: But that scene where the Ten Rings are watching Yinsen and Tony in the workshop making Iron Man Mach 1 and trying to figure out what they’re doing is my favourite scene in the whole movie. I laugh every time.

I also can’t believe that Tony was in those caves for 3 months. I wanna know what he and Yinsen were doing for that whole time. Honestly, I would have believed they were there for a couple of weeks; they did not do a good job marking time passing. That’s all.

Gentle, gentle Yinsen: even when he runs out with a blaring gun to buy Tony time, he still refuses to kill anyone. Poor, gentle, strong Yinsen.

“Thank you for saving me.” -- How many times before this has Tony said thank you? I doubt he’s said it often...

RHODEY’S FACE WHEN HE FINDS TONY is so so soft. I also appreciate how Rhodey, Pepper, and even Obadiah (even if he is awful) know that the best way to comfort Tony is to tease him. Make sure he knows -- especially Rhodey and Pepper -- that their friendship hasn’t changed while he was gone, that things can continue on as they always have, that their love for him and the way they express that affection has not changed and will be constant.

“Cheeseburger first.” Bless you, Tony Stark.

COULSON. I FORGOT ABOUT COULSON. Like, there are so many things I realize that they used this movie for, including testing to see if the MCU would work while setting up the MCU. They did a marvellous job of balancing the two.

When Pepper is changing the arc reactor in Tony’s chest and asks what to do with the old one, and Tony waves his hand and says it’s “irrelevant.” For some reason that just hit something with me. The dismissal -- was it real or put on? For someone with so much focus and passion, where did Tony learn dismissal from?

Anybody else wonder if Sam Wilson ever went on that air force tour that Colonel James Rhodes does? Because I can see it happening.

LET’S TALK ABOUT RHODEY FOR A SECOND: Rhodey, who believes in the US government and their military, that they are doing the right thing, and that questioning their authority is wrong. I was watching him and going, ‘Rhodey. Dude. How can you not question them?’ and got super flashbacks to Civil War (which is hilarious because one came out in 2009 and the other in 2016), when he doesn’t fight the Accords. He says something about the government knowing what to do; and it’s this... blind faith and honest trust in them that is so weird to me. Rhodey’s faith in his government is probably what everyone expected from Captain America (and I am so sorry for all the Cap meta, but I expect I’ll be bouncing between them all as I go), and they got Steve Rogers instead: “This isn’t freedom; this is fear.” Whereas Rhodey trusts his government. There’s something very honourable about that even as it doesn’t sit well with us, because, well, if there’s one thing the MCU has taught us, it’s that governments and monarchies are made up of people and people have flaws and ulterior motives. 

Tony’s workshop is a true gesture of love and a real delight. Bless the minds behind it.

Iron Man/Tony Stark themes: Legacy and responsibility. It’s something that comes up over and over again -- legacy especially in regards to Howard Stark, and responsibility in regards to Stark Industries. Tony wants to make his father proud and leave an honourable legacy, but keeps finding how gray the world really is -- and there’s something almost naive about Tony, and how he slowly learns that things are far more complex than a machine is -- and he is trying to learn responsibility, but he hasn’t been taught it. He’s still struggling with that in Civil War ( and although I haven’t seen it yet, I suspect in Spiderman: Homecoming as well).

JARVIS: “What was I thinking? You’re usually so austere.” and “A brilliant observation, Sir.”

“Proof that Tony Stark has a heart.” MY HEART.

HE HAS SCRIBBLED EQUATIONS ON HIS IRON MAN HELMET. It’s such a simple touch, but oh my gosh so so so fitting.

Pepper is a true gem, even when she is awkward and hopeful and buzzed and unsure.

I’m like 90% Obadiah Stane was HYDRA. Look: it fits. His mindset with weaponry and selling under the table and double dealing is so HYDRA -- giving weapons to certain parties in order to keep up the chaos and bring in the money -- just... Wow.

Pepper is actually the worst spy. I hope Natasha gave her lessons afterwards.

When Tony is struggling to get to his workshop and his heartbeat gets more and more erratic in the background... Good touch.

I know there are issues with Coulson in Agents of SHIELD, but he is A+ in this movie. The whole way he blows up the door is total mild-mannered competency and I am here for it.

Pepper Potts can run in heels. That makes her a true hero in my books.

Rhodey was given one job (”Keep the skies clear.”) and he did it well. Good job, Rhodey. We salute you.

“You made your father proud.” WOW OBI. HOW RUDE. As if the only way Tony can ever measure up to Howard is to be a mercenary of death. RUDE.

The final fight: How did Tony survive and Obadiah did not? Solution according to my sister (who watched the last quarter with us): “Tony’s a good guy and Stane is a bad guy. That’s it.”

Crackle adds: “Plot armour is stronger than anything Obadiah can build.

Pepper’s response to Tony’s “do you ever think about that night?” is pure gold. Excellent job. He still has some work to do, and it’s good that he knows it.

“Outlandish... and fantastic.” “Laundry lists of character flaws.” -- HE WANTS TO BE A HERO SO BAD. HE WANTS TO DO RIGHT AND BE BETTER and so he sees the chance and grabs it with both hands. Will it be hard? Yes. I don’t think he has any idea of how hard. But he knows “in [his] heart that it’s the right thing to do” and that’s beautiful.

ANYWAYS. Iron Man is excellent and Tony is so imperfect but still so lovely because he tries so so so hard. And he keeps trying. He wants to protect people -- and while that may be from a place of fear, it is also from a source of care and love for people and his world, and that’s a beautiful thing. It’s a scary and dangerous way to care for people, to fear for them, but it’s better than not caring at all.

TUNE IN NEXT WEEK WHEN WE WATCH IRON MAN 2.