#but there's also smth about them that are so Similar. i sound like an insane person in these tags and clearly im bias BUT I SWEAR!!!

[ruporas]

green haired guy that has haunted my character types for 10+ years

[shima-draws]

Okay so a few things about the ending to the DLC. Spoilers below obviously

-Really REALLY disappointed they didn’t go with the whole toxic possession arc thing with Kieran and the new mythical (Pecharunt?) TO BE FAIR that was more of a fan theory than anything but it was one that made a lot of sense and had a lot of evidence to back it up. I guess I got too attached to the idea and was inevitably let down when the game didn’t go in that direction. Still it would have made more sense to give that extra edge as to why Kieran’s treating everyone so awfully,, and having him finally break free of that control during the final fight VS Terapagos would have been SO sick. Either that or before we even get to Terapagos Carmine calls Kieran out and that’s when he finally fucking explodes and rages and vents about his inferiority complex—and THAT is what summons Pecharunt, those negative feelings that it probably feeds off of or smth idk. Then we’d get a split second of Kieran finally being back in control and begging for help. And then Carmine realizing her brother has been under the influence of this Pokemon the entire time and. Okay I’m getting off track into AU territory now lmao sorry moving on

-Switching back to the Terapagos fight, I really enjoyed it! It wasn’t too long of a fight to be drawn out, but it was just long enough that it didn’t feel anticlimactic (also the MUSIC? STELLAR. Pun intended). ALSO ARGHFHH the five stages of grief Kieran goes through in that fight to finally accepting that he’s been going about this the wrong way and has been an awful friend and the way the LIGHT COMES BACK INTO HIS EYES I ALMOST CRIED. This is 10000x more emotional and powerful if you choose to bring Ogerpon with you and fight with her bc that really just. Hammers in the fact that despite all the bad blood and bitterness, Kieran still chooses to fight alongside you and the Pokemon he coveted so much…AND he even processes things enough to fully let go of all his hatred and anger and allows you to catch Terapagos because he KNOWS you’ll take good care of it and after all this time he still trusts you even though he’d probably hate to admit it. #GOOD WRITING

-Something really scary I realized. Kieran brought a Master Ball with him to catch Terapagos. 1. Where did homie even get that. 2. The fact that he was READY and didn’t even give Terapagos a chance to react, that he was essentially catching it against its will (which probably led to its power going out of control), that he was enforcing his own twisted desires and beliefs onto it and not considering its feelings (sound familiar? Looks at Ogerpon). BOY. 3. We’ve only ever seen ONE other person use Master Balls in SV. The AI Professor. I don’t know if this is significant in any way but if the Pecharunt theory WAS true that would make them so so similar and that’s eerie to me. Two characters controlled by something greater than them that they can’t fight…can you imagine how INSANE the dynamics would be listen to me

-Another thing I was kinda disappointed about was Briar? I guess I was just picking up on the vibes that she was actually a villain and would try to steal Terapagos from the player, but I probably gave Nintendo too much credit on that one lol. I do like that she’s not inherently evil, she’s just too absorbed and obsessed with her research to really pay attention to what’s going on around her. BUT. They should have pushed that WAY further. Either commit and do the full villain arc where she snatches Terapagos from Kieran right after he catches it to use it for her own purposes, or pressure him into Terastallizing it so much that it makes him uncomfortable. I want to see Lusamine levels of unhinged obsession. What she had was just a little bit too excited about Area Zero, not a full blown unhealthy and dangerous thing that puts everyone around her in danger.

-Following up on that. Drayton. I kept expecting him to also go villain arc IDK LOL I guess I want everyone to be gay do crime in this DLC 😂 But I seriously kept thinking he was just using the player to knock Kieran off his thrown so he could take it right back from us. But no he actually genuinely cared about Kieran and kept pressuring us to beat the Elite Four so WE could knock some sense into him since Drayton wasn’t strong enough to do it himself. Which is a very sweet sentiment, I think :’) But am I the only one who was like bro calm down right after the fight where he was getting up in Kieran’s face and calling him ex-champion…..either he’s way too honest and doesn’t realize he was being cruel OR he was doing it on purpose to be a silly goober (but everyone else was like DUDE. LOW blow.)

-I still have questions. HELLO. HELLO. The notes in Area Zero mentioned the professor meeting a child with a white(?) book? Is that the Scarlet/Violet book? We still don’t know how the whole time travel paradox happened and why Heath talked about meeting Paradox Pokemon DECADES before the professor even brought them to Area Zero through the time machine? What is with the weird ass crystal tree sitting in the middle of a lake in the depths? Is there any significance to the Crystal Pool in Kitakami being connected to terastallizing and Area Zero? I’M JUST. AGHHH. I’m fairly certain we’re getting more content, maybe an epilogue to the DLCs but I’m going CRAZY I NEED TO KNOW NOWWW

-Also isn’t Area Zero like. Top secret hush hush. Why did Geeta let Briar publish a whole ass book about the HIDDEN SECRET of Area Zero that was miles under a closed off SECRET lab. I thought they were denying Briar access to Area Zero for YEARS, probably because they didn’t want her blabbing to the public. Idk. Maybe my memory is fuzzy on that one. Just feels very contradictory fhhdd

-The small little subtleties of Kieran regaining his regular personality as we went down….I ADORED that. His little smiles and him unable to contain his childish excitement and Carmine smiling at him with a knowing look bc after all this time her brother is FINALLY acting more like himself. And Kieran trying to brush it off like “wh-whatever” like he’s some sort of edgy teenager pretending he doesn’t care. GAHHHH it was so cute I wanted to cry 😭

ALL IN ALL it didn’t QUITE meet my expectations but it was still really good, especially considering this was all DLC content. Nothing will ever EVER top the main story of SV but the entirety of TTM and TID came pretty darn close. Kieran my sweet baby boy my blorbo I’m so glad you got your redemption arc and that you finally came to terms with your perception of strength and how it affects others. Baller DLC Nintendo do it again 👏

[multidimensional-trashcan]

hamlet but i haven't seen it (yet)

there's this guy named hamlet who's the prince of denmark

somethings foul in the state of denmark or something

hamlet's dad, the king, got killed before the play and hamlet suspects his uncle claudius (is that his name?)

claudius marries hamlet's mother and is now king (bit weird but okay)

hamlet doesnt like that

the ghost of hamlet's father appears to hamlet and tells him to kill his uncle in revenge

hamlet the master of indecisiveness™

to be or not to be

thats like about whether to act or not i think

hamlet is a college student so actually quite young (i think boy started to go to college at age 14 and hamlets probably around 16 but nobody's sure)

a phrase stuck in my brain is "hamlet the frat boy" but im pretty sure he's more of a theater kid

instead of killing his uncle hamlet stages a play similar to what he thinks transpired to watch how his uncle reacts to it

the lady doth protest too much, methinks

shakepeare does love to make his protagonists spiral into insanity

i heard hamlet is a story about grief and i also heard that it's like a mirror, what you see about hamlet says more about you that hamlet himself (but dont ask me to elaborate i am realising my brain retains information i have no clue how i got)

in the end almost everyone dies because of hamlet

hamlet stabs someone through the curtain i think its the father of ophelia (polonius or smth i dunno) cause he thinks is his uncle

im not sure why his uncle should be behind a curtain tho

hamlet randomly gets kidnapped by pirates but we never see it because shakespeare already new how expensive special effects are

i bet the pirates let hamlet go because he's a little bitch

hamlet is A LITTLE BITCH

i think in one scene he just tries to fluster ophelia (his not-quite-girlfriend) by turning everything she says into sexual innuendo (may i lay my head in your lap so on so on)

there's one scene with a grave digger whom hamlet asks for whom the grave is the man is digging and the man responds it is his own to which hamlet answers something along the lines of

one would thinks so for thou dost lie in it

great pun

ophelia actually manages to drown in a brook which is characterised by it's shallowness

its unclear whether she did it intentionally

there are some guys named rosencrantz und guildenstern (probably didnt spell that right) and i know nothing about them except that they die because of hamlet and for some reason they always get mentioned together which makes me think they are an item

many people die because of hamlet

also there's a skull

is that yorrick?

hamlet talks to it

david tennant got the role of hamlet because he randomly picked up a real human skull

hamlet dies (big surprise!)

there's a duel? and one of the sword's is poisoned and hamlet picks up the wrong one? is that with laertes? i know he dies, too

also there's horatio, everybody seems to like him so i tried to not mention him for as long as possible to annoy them (not really i just dont know much about him)

people think hes gay for hamlet

hes not nobility but wellspoken

something something sweet prince?

horatio does not die

he lives to tell the tale

which is somehow worse

while i know (claudius?) hamlet's uncle dies and thats kinda the point of hamlet's whole actions i do not actually know when or how he dies (but i know about the curtain stabbing, the brook and the duel, weird)

or is he the one in the duel?

i bet hamlet's mother dies too

i also dont know how hamlet dies, something with the duel and the poisoned sword i guess, i know he picked up the wrong sword but im not sure if the wrong one was that with poison or not

WHAT DOES THE PIRATE KIDNAPPING HAVE TO DO WITH EVERYTHING?

AND WAS HE REALLY SIXTEEN?

i am very confused about how much there is in my brain about the guy

i do think there must be more to horatio except 'gay for hamlet' but i dont know anything

rosencrantz und guildenstern sound like a comic relief duo who dont know what they're doing

something about mother and knowing about playing with her drapes... (is that from hamlet?)

im sure this is enough for now

please do tell me how wrong i am

also tell me if you know why i seem to know so much about this (even if it's not true)

yes, this was inspired by @weirdly-specific-but-ok 's good omens post and @hello-ello-ello 's post about macbeth

[nevarroes]

i refuse to send these thoughts separately:

who would cas main in league, he wouldnt play isnt an answer the mans gender is at least 25% calling people slurs on mic

okay but what if what if um 🥺👉👈 someone wanted to write a thing but they were super anxious about getting cas’s voice right in part because by the nature of how you share your creative concepts the only solid vibe they get is Doesnt Talk A Lot, When He Does Its 90% Weird Rude Mean Shit, hence the cesare big top burger comparison

and fuckin um i forget if ive ever asked, i mostly process cas’s fuckedupedness through a lens of npd, but am more familar with bpd because my own brain garbage is a bit of both and having had many loved ones with bpd, does cas ever fully freak the fuck out in an insecure attachment way trying to make gortash Go Away or trying to leave himself(but coming back generally), might characterize that Oh No Hes Going To Die leaves forever cant handle loss unless he “choses” it meltdown in a similar menthol eelnessTM vein

i especially love thinking about cas being extremely insecure because reality will never live up to his delusions of self importance perfection and grandeur because fun fact :^) a side affect of those thought patterns is constant disappointment in a reality of self that can never meet those expectations :^^^)

casim “i AM perfect or ill DIE” carnavorn

honestly "Doesnt Talk A Lot, When He Does Its 90% Weird Rude Mean Shit" is pretty on point here😭😭 I used to say like everyone desires him and then he opens his mouth and theyre like "hmmm yeah idk if this one's worth it chief". Like he has no filter at all but it isn't like he doesn't do it on purpose it's more like he goes out of his way to make sure everyone leaves in a worse mood than before, if that makes sense? Gortash would join in though honestly.... type of situation where Gortash tries to introduce them to some noble family on a party and Cas just drops that some poor girl looks like a fat cow (see this is funnier considering that he stands next to Gortash but ain't nobody gonna say that back) 🙏

aside from that though like.... in private? I suppose this may be more of a tone thing and I'm a VERY mid writer so I couldn't even tell you how I'd show this of the top of my head but I suppose he's more... clearly affectionately teasing? because yeah he obviously stays teasing and calls him a fat bastard in private still and such but it's very obvious if you look at them for a second that it's like a far cry from how he treats everyone else (smth smth his gaze very clearly softens and he allows himself to giggle and you can tell that they have been knowing each other for a long time)

okay sorry im YAPPING but ! ....If you want to write something I'd be over the fucking moon either way honestly like??😭 tbh I think you sound like you get him a lot already but also let me just say additionally... I see Cas as a character that's pretty flexible anyways because he erm... he has mood swings but also doesn't really have smth I'd consider a set speech pattern or something that he needs to sound in character?

anyways concerning the npd/bpd thing I never quite drew a line for him or anything to put him more into one camp but. I mean yeah based on the dying of old age scenario... LMFAOO but also yeah he does. Cas is the type of person that will literally leave the city for months or lock himself in and try to "become a new person" (he literally has moment where he's like "maybe I should just become who Bhaal wants me to be. maybe it would be easier") if there's some dispute with Gortash. It usually ends with Gortash forcing him to meet him again and Cas being something along the lines of "oh my fucking god can I just stop loving you already" but yeagh u know the fact that Gortash is kinda the only person he ever liked or even saw as a friend just makes it worse tbh

and the insecurities/delusions thing? yeah exactly what you said. a lot of his insecurities are insane too tbh like "I can never be what everyone desires" but then he loses it if he's NOT what someone desires, Gortash saying smth along the lines of "I like women too" would be enough to make him walk off a ledge because he can't be that part (smth smth I can be most perfect man on the planes but I'll never be a woman. funnier when u know he could use incubus illusion magic but he refused to his whole life). But anyways yeah as I said once Cas is like... a DEEPLY insecure person at his core even if he'd never admit or think that it shows

anyways after this analysis... Cas plays adc and shits on every support he plays with💯 He mains aphelios because he wants to look at a man but also because he thinks he's better than anyone else for playing a complex champ... hope u see my vison

[toughtink]

a long time ago i made a guide to keys in Gideon the Ninth. i said i’d do some more Locked Tomb notes in the future, so i’m back to do that! these posts are pretty much my personal notes taken during my last reread, perfectly prone to errors, so feel free to add on if you spot any inconsistencies. also, the citations are specifically for the american paperback versions of the books. and i haven’t put much from nona in this list yet; mostly this one focuses on Harrow the Ninth info.

The River Sections in The Locked Tomb Series:

The Riverbank—seems to have many of the things you’d find on an actual real-world beach: silvery sand, dried wood, colored stones, long feathery plant stems and willow-like branches washed up on the shore, salt wind.

Epirhoic—Uppermost, near the banks. Where the lyctors plan to fight RB 7. Where folks always hope their ghost travels (“may your spirit travel high on the River” or smth), where Abigail assumes Isaac and Jeannemary’s spirits will travel given their youth and goodness ( “[They] never did anything wrong other than the time they tried to pierce each other’s tongues, should have travelled lightly through those waters.” —Abigail, htn 397).

Mesorhoic—middle, i guess. some ghosts.

Bathyrhoic—where the swiftest fight against a RB (8) took place. much fewer ghosts.

Barathron—very few ghosts sink this low. Jod says if he believed in sin, he’d say they died weighted down with sin, placing them nearer the trash space. deeper portions have pressure similar to water pressure in deep ocean (htn 494), but they never figured out what the River’s made of. Apparently there’s also rocks down here??? Because the Mithraeum gets caught on some rock face when dropped into the River (htn 496).

Stoma—Super hell? Opens & closes. Ferocious gravitational pull. Mouth to Hell. “A genuinely chaotic space—chaos in the meaning of the abyss as well as unfathomable…located at the bottom of the River. The Riverbed is studded with mouths that open at proximity of Resurrection Beasts, and no ghosts venture deeper than the bathyrhoic layer. Anyone who has entered the stoma has never returned. It is a portal to the place I cannot touch” (Jod, htn 240). Jod’s rubbish bin 🗑️. When a hole opens, it’s enormous with huge human teeth at the edges, each tooth “six bodies high and two bodies wide.” Gideon also describes it as “an eaten-away tunnel of reality.” (htn 495) Also, thousands of tentacle-y tongues come out (htn 496). Stoma is Greek for mouth, and though medically it normally refers to a hole in the abdomen used to expel waste, if we think of it as a mouth (which like, teeth + tongues sounds pretty mouthy), it could be compared to the mouth of a river, aka where it meets the ocean. Is “The Beyond” (in the next section) that ocean?

The River Beyond—what lies beyond, believed in thousands of years ago, but pooh-poohed now, and researched/believed in by Abigail Pent (htn 397), aka where spirits are attempting to cross to without being dragged to the depths of the River or going insane. Abigail believes there is a whole school of necromancy still undiscovered because of a lack of studying The Beyond (my capitals, not hers) and that something has gone terribly wrong in the River.—Personally, it feels like the system has been gummed up by necromancy, souls coming and going and causing problems when they really should have been going in one direction. Alecto asks Jod where he put all the children in ntn, so maybe normally those souls go directly back to their planets/nearest cosmic bodies? But killing the planets has made that impossible so now they’re stuck in a subspace Purgatory occasionally getting sucked into Hell ala The Good Place where OOPS! No one’s been able to get to Heaven for 10k years!

some miscellaneous thoughts about the river:

perhaps the river was never meant to exist at all? could the destruction of the solar system have created it? and what’s with its use as subspace travel? it’s plot convenient, sure, but is that a feature that can be expanded to all souls, living and dead? or is it the spiritual dimension being sucked into some kinda worm hole that was already in space or something? idk, it’s very weird as you can be there spiritually but not physically or you can be there physically too as evidenced by the very physical kinds of rocks and stuff as well as whole space ships getting dropped in. it’s certainly a fun take on the river styx, and i do think we’ll be going beyond the stoma in alecto. maybe it’ll really lean in to the greek mythology connection this time and we’ll get a bit of an orpheus and eurydice moment with a certain saddest girl in the world going in to rescue a certain goth nunlet?

[linabirb]

blorbo Haruka, Muu, Mahiru, Naomi, Asahi and Reina! :D

thank you for sending them aurora <3

(putting them under the cut bc lots of text)

"haruka is so cute!!" "haruka is so silly!!" NO!!! NO PEOPLE ARE WRONG ABOUT HIM!!! i could talk for hours about how people infantilize milgram men but i don't want to get eaten alive. i like haruka in a way that's different from how most people like him bc i actually WANT HIM TO GET WORSE. i want him to GO INSANE. go CRAZY even. he's been portrayed (by the fandom) as a cute little baby for too long and i say that as someone who (just like 99.9% of the fandom) finds him relatable that is wrong and also. so so messed up considering that the guy is obviously not the most mentally stable prisoner. like hey guys.. why are we going "I NEED TO ADOPT HIM" at a guy who sees a 16 y/o girl as his mother.. just a thought.. anyway can't wait for his t3 mv <3 im not really a huge fan of his songs bc they sound too similar to me and they're just kinda. meh like i prefer his covers but i really hope his guilty verdict song will be something different.

muu actually was one of my least faves when i first got into milgram for personal reasons, but as i got to learn more about her. okay this is me actually (except i've never bullied anyone and i tend to blame myself for literally everything that happens in the world). again i love her in a way similar to haruka, like i don't want her to get better, i hope she gets worse actually. WANTING TO SEE YOUR FAVES HAPPY IS OVERRATED I NEED TO SEE HER BITE EVERYONE I NEED TO SEE HER COVERED IN BLOOD I NEED TO SEE HER BURN THE PRISON DOWN OR SOMETHING!!!

MAPPI!!!!! ONE OF THE FEW MILGRAM PRISONERS THAT I ACTUALLY WANT TO GET BETTER!!! yes she is so so cute and so so squishy but i also really do think that she's such a deep and well-written character, like her having a very sheltered background, her not really knowing how real relationships work and focusing more on the ones from literature, movies and other media, giving so much love to her bf that she literally ended up killing him, but it still doesn't seem like she wants to change her ways.. OH MAHIRU SHIINA!!!! i wish people could talk more about those parts of her character rather than her simply being cute.. but anyway yeah she's inno to me <3 (even though one specific theory really scares me and i don't think it will be confirmed and i hope it doesn't bc if it does that will mean that mahiru literally did something that i've personally had to deal with and what i am so so scared of BUT STILL. SHE'S INNO TO ME!!!)

oh asahi yano.. the most evil 12 year old ever.. /j it's actually amane according to the fandom (her innocent vote should've been higher.) also oh god he's going to be 13 this year i'm going to cry. asahi is honestly one of my fav characters to write! he's really fun bc i can literally just make him say whatever and it won't be ooc. like yes he absolutely can say the most offensive stuff without thinking (or with a lot of thinking) but he also can be so sweet and not even realize it!! like he actually loves miki so so much and his relationship with kei in t3 will be really cute i think.. i wonder if it really is possible for him to have a future that's happy and bright.. or any future really..

naomi chiba you are so so weird and so so dangerous and so so evil but i love you so much. there is literally no hope for her. no one can fix her. it's like. if shun's problem is that he just really needs someone to love him in a healthy way and help him slowly recover or at least learn to cope with his mental issues, then how do we solve naomi's problem? just make all children disappear or what? MAYBE she would get better with REALLY intense therapy and learning to heal her inner child, but i just. can't see her agreeing to smth like that. at least maybe she'll go down in a cool and also terrifying way.. i love her as a character but i think she's terrible as a person and that she will only continue to get worse no matter what the guards choose.

reina.. my silliest daughter.. my saddest clown.. i love reina, maybe i don't find her as fun as some of my other characters (though i honestly don't have any faves), but her character also feels very refreshing bc it's like. FINALLY someone who is somewhat sane. it also feels nice to write a character who actually tries to understand what's going on and tries to rebel even though i really like how one of the main themes of linagram is how all these people COULD try to solve the secrets of milgram but.. they just won't. they just accepted it. like that's so scary to me. but oh well.. im afraid reina won't get rewarded for her efforts anytime soon. honestly she'll most likely get punished for it.

[nibwhipdragon]

omg you can draw? and you draw dragons?

can we get a dragon josej

I had been meaning to draw him as a dragon months before I got this ask and this was the thing that finally got me to do it thank you anon

Anyways. The guy (with a little planning doodle on the side I forgot to erase)

Now to explain my process for the design here, because I'm insane.

Let's start with the hair. Joseph's hair can't really be translated into spines on a back that well. Hair doesn't really translate that well at all. So I opted to lessen the "spikes" to 1, instead of the usual 3. The spines are also all joined instead of separate like I usually do them, to try keep the feel of soft and flowy hair. Also, because I am insane, I decided to make sure this design was reminiscent of. Crash Bandicoot. Yeah I've seen people joke about how similar human Joseph and Crash are so to help keep dragonseph fitting I also used Crash as a reference. This makes sense to me. Understand.

He's a classic European dragon (2 wings, 4 legs) for many reasons. You'd think I'd go with a wyvern bc of flying, but. The limb loss. I have no idea how the loss of a wing via severing would work. Nothing to go off of for it. "Oh but Nibwhip it's just a single drawing" I have thought about this world in great detail and will likely draw more in the future. I'm planning accordingly. I also think it just fits him bc. European (British. I think being British counts as being European? Idk), as well as the limbs. He can run much better than a wyvern can you know?

Horns. First of all I've been thinking about the Pillar Men here and designing Joseph accordingly. This sounds odd but. Humans and Pillar Men are different species, different physical characteristics. Same must apply for dragons here, except more visible bc I didn't like too much how the Pillar Men were in canon (too human). I've already confirmed in my mind palace that the Pillar Men (...Pillar Dragons? Yeah let's go with that) will have front facing horns, for many reasons I will elaborate on in a separate, later post. So, normal dragons will always have horns facing the other way (maybe other ways too. But mostly pointing back like that). I've also made em big and fat here to make em look solid. I didn't want to draw him as buff as humanseph, but I still needed to get across that feeling of strength. So boom. Get these chunky horns on your head dude

Now. Colours. Probably were expecting like. Green and yellow/purple for this, right? Those are colours he wears, not just...his hair colour. I went with the brown anyways, not just for the hair colour though. Back to strength. Brown's a nice earthy colour. Quite solid. I don't know enough about colour theory here but. I can ASSURE you that if I had done this in green or purple he would've felt a lot scrawnier. Brown's also a warm, welcoming colour. If that makes sense. Makes sure he still feels friendly and good despite the design change and all the things I did to make him look strong. Also with vibrant colours like green and purple it's harder to make a hypothetical oldseph version of this design. But here the brown also works it's an "old" colour. You know. Like a worn leathered cover to a book or smth. The brown works I assure you.

I also gave him "eyebrows" bc a Joseph without thick as hell eyebrows isn't a Joseph to me. Very defining part of his design tbh I HAD to get it in there.

I think that's all? Idk I am very sleepy (midnight 💀) so maybe I'll reblog later with more details idk

[scalproie]

Haha. Kazuya. You understand.

one aspect about them i love

THEM TIDDIES

but fr he has his whole aesthetic on point. and I will say. him face. nice

one aspect i wish more people understood about them

HE'S A TRAGIC CHARACTER. HE'S SOOO DOOMED IN ANY WAY BC CHARACTERS LIKE HIM ARE MEANT TO BE PUT DOWN IN A SATISFYING STORY. HE HAS WINGS AT HIS STRONGEST BC THE MOST DEFINING MOMENT OF HIS LIFE WAS FALLING OFF A CLIFF. HE'S ON TOP OF THE WORLD, THE HIGHEST HE'S EVER BEEN, BUT HE'S NEVER TRULY LEFT THE BOTTOM OF THAT CLIFF. HE'S ALONE UP THERE. HE'S A CONTROL FREAK WHOM YOU NEVER KNOW IF HE IS ACTUALLY FULLY IN CONTROL (IF AT ALL) IF YOU REALLY STOP TO THINK ABOUT IT. HE'S SOOO COMPLEX BUT WE'VE NEVER BEEN ALLOWED TO DWELVE INTO THAT COMPLEXITY. HE'S A REALLY INTERESTING CHARACTER AND I DIE INSIDE WHEN THEY KEEP PUSHING HIM INTO THE "PURE EVIL" BOX WHEN EVEN WHEN HE MADE THOSE CHOICES HE STILL IS NOT!!! I FEEL LIKE AN INSANE PERSON WHEN I SAY THERE IS SMTH SO EXTREMELY COMPELLING ABOUT KAZUYA MISHIMA.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character

- hes still alive in the tekken:tmp timeline since jun successfully "saved" him, and while the familial situation isnt the best it could be, its still far better than you'd expect with jun and jin

- he doesnt even consider himself fully human anymore but hes truly at his core Just A Guy. take the morning coffee. collect shoes. eat boring food. hes a very plain guy and its hilarious. what does he even do all day, the role of a ceo is to make connections and relationships and hes a shadow ceo. he is so painfully A Man In His Fifties that if you remove the tekken context he could grill a mean steak I know this in my heart, what do japanese dads even do for a bbq equivalent.

- kazumi styled his hair Like That back in the day and so he will wear that hairstyle for life

one character i love seeing them interact with

Apparently in bruce's t6 ending, hes speaking to his superior(?) about a mission well done but it's said he's reporting directly to kazuya, so even if who hes talking to is speaking in english I have to wonder if it was meant to be kaz at one point. Anyway if it is I love the casualness of this interaction.

Also jin! people say theyre tired of the mishima focus but NOT ME bc those dudes only interacted ONCE until t8 finally drops. Anyway their hostility toward each other is sooo obviously fabricated bc if the writers REALLY wanted to get into it, this father&son relationship would be so much more complex than that. Also in the first project x zone, devil kazuya is a boss fight and at one point devil and kazuya are fighting for control and for one (1) second, jin sounds concerned for his dad in the way that he wont be able to kill him while kazuya is himself. fun stuff. Their more neutral interactions as a tag team in pxz2 are a lot of fun too, especially when they team up to tear verbally into heihachi. Anyway like everything about kaz, his relationship with his son isnt explored enough.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more

Harada For The Love Of God Don't Fuck Up Kazuya's Interactions With Jun In Tekken 8.

I want to see fucking flashbacks man, how did it fucking happen. They had to have exchanged AT LEAST a couple words before getting to jin's conception and I WANNA KNOW. ITS THE MOST MYSTERIOUS AND INTERESTING RELATIONSHIP IN TEKKEN.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character

I feel like. if you stripped kazuya and jun of status and general opposite moral stances, theyre very very similar. I will wait for official t8 confirmation oh what they thought of the other but I feel they are two side of a same coin. People usually speak of jun making kazuya better but I like the other side of kazuya making jun a bit worse. In a very indulgent way I often wonder what it wouldve been like if they tried at all to make it work long term and I dont think it wouldve been that bad, especially compared to how the previous main mishima relationship ended up.

[quirkle2]

Would it be uncomfy if I asked you to just go ham about qpr?

Can be Ledge and Wars or just in general.

It's just the way you write it and draw it is...insanely comforting and I'd love to hear more.

Also your creativity is absolutely amazing and warm and I love your work so much

🧡

NOT AT ALL i love talking abt them and qprs sm i've got u

i think it's the little things that get me ? like,,, wars and ledge both smile when the other enters the room. when somebody mentions their partner in convo they grin at the simple thought of them. there's quick forehead kisses and mini hugs all throughout the day; little glances behind the others' shoulder, watching each other's backs; little use me as a pillows and i bought this cuz it reminded me of yous and Just Because gifts. they r in platonic love in every sense of the word and there's just smth rly rly comforting abt that

it's rly comforting to Them, especially ? in my head they're both Probably Aro but there's ? a little part of them that kinda Yearns for something similar to that? they want a Connection, but neither of them have ever felt that or had the ability to feel that (at least, romantically). neither of them have ever Met anybody they felt that close to

this might be straying vaguely into an internalized homophobia deal ?? a little bit (that might be the wrong term)?? but sometimes they couldn't help but wonder if there was,, something Wrong w them, yaknow? of course there Isn't, but when ur different from everybody around u sometimes that's how it goes. i feel like they were both maybe,, driven to avoid those things altogether, even though parts of them rly, so so badly wanted Something Like That

qprs r such a wonderful thing ?? love is not a straight line that goes friend -> best friend -> lover. platonic love can be just as strong and just as powerful, as mushy and cliche as it sounds, and when wars and ledge finally felt that ?? you've heard it before—they felt like they were on top of the world. it's ?? such a nice experience

they came to terms w the fact that No there was nothing wrong w them—there never was—and even if they had never felt that love there still wouldn't have been smth wrong w them. they r just different than most!! and that's wonderful!!!! they slowly learn that and r accepting themselves and each other :)

sometimes they both still get excited about it. wars will be sitting there and he'll suddenly think "i am in a qpr and i have a qpp and he is wonderful and i lovehim so very much" and he'll get all smiley and giddy and it'sSUCH a fucking experience . and legend ??? god sometimes he doesn't even know how to compute it. sometimes it's all Too Much (/pos) and he just wants to squeeze wars like a stress ball /aff

i rly love thinkin about the different ways they show that giddiness ? that Full feeling of like,,, appreciation and disbelief that u cannot contain. wars tends to wrap himself around legend and smooch his noggin a million times. kisskisssmooch kise kiss mwah mwah mwahkiss mwah mwah mwah. sneaks up behind ledge while he's making a sandwich and makes him get jelly on the counter because legend is currently being Bombarded w 178 Forehead Kisses

legend has a much harder time releasing and conveying that kinda stuff. sometimes he Does just straight up hug wars and Squeeze him but also sometimes he leans into him ? bomks his head against wars' shoulder, against his arm, very gently to his forehead . like a cat. i love you. bomk. i love you again. bomk. give me attention. bomk

they make each other snacks. they totally have that thing where like . ledge makes wars tea and pancakes and they taste amazing but if wars makes Himself tea and pancakes exactly the same way neither of them taste nearly as good. it's about the Love and Care that went into them. look it up it's true

i think i've mentioned it before but one of my fav things to think about is wars reading late at night and ledge snugglin up to him ? my wonderful adored cherished qpp made this for me that shows them all snuggled up together and i love and appreciate that piece oh so much . that is a Routine for them and legend sometimes sees wars nodding off while trying to read—eyes drooping while he's all leaned up against legend and barely holding the book up enough to see the words anyway. silly willy,,,,sleepyhead

^ if ledge wasn't awake to put his book and glasses away, they both wake up like that :) all cuddled up with the book still in wars' hand, glasses crooked on his face (lucky he didn't break em,,) the coziest of mornings . i enjoy thinkin about sleepy mornings where they both lie there and simply play w each other's hair and doze

wars gets giddy about calling legend his partner sometimes too :) he doesn't rly get a lot of chances to call him that out loud, but when he does he smiles so wide,,,,,, sometimes he says it in his head and melts. my partner,,,, legend is my Partner!!!!!!!!!ohm y hylia,,,

^ legend will never admit it but he does that constantly in his head . wow that's my partner . he isliterally just sitting there but that's My Partner. wow.wow. hyrule once witnessed him say to a clerk "yeah i'm gettin' this for my partner he loves candles" and he's got that Smile when he says partner. hyrule is sworn to secrecy and his very life is on the line if he tells a single soul /hj

i!!!!!! wanna talk about the others real quick and what They think of the qpr . they r so happy for them,,,,,,,,,,,,my god they r so happy. the chain can tell both of them are MUCH happier with each other and legend is looser and wars is more laid back,, it's just so nice?? time especially just,, loves seein his boys so happy. he takes comfort in the fact that his boys r okay and content and Enjoying themselves. he loves seein legend so smiley sometimes—Loves seeing wars loosen his shoulders and sneak through those walls. he Adores seeing wars finally have somebody close—at the beginning of lu wars had a certain,, sadness in his eyes. that went away the closer he got to the chain and to legend. the bitterness faded from ledge's gaze a little, even. they Both needed each other and now they have each other and the entire chain is so genuinely happy for them

lastly . i Have mentioned this one, but wars kissing legend's knuckles and rings in private moments has me in Tears okay . legend fully melts—doesn't know how to compute all that so he just sits there and stares and Melts. he turns so red and wars gives him such a warm smile. those r such nice moments

[menalez]

I’m a military brat and I lived in a couple of European countries growing up. One of them was Germany and I lived there for quite a while after my hs graduation. One of the women I met was an older biracial lady about my mom’s age who I frequently saw at the gym. Usually when I was coming into the gym she was starting to leave and she struck up a conversation. From there we became “friends” who would workout together if I came early or she came late.

Then she stopped coming to the gym for a solid five months. I just figured she pcs’d or smth bc her husband and her were having marital issues and she talked about leaving occasionally. Then she came back, but she was an entirely new person. She jumped alot, would always look teary eyed, and always leave the gym early. We had pretty similar schedules so it was odd to see her come back and not stick to it. At most she would do was 30 minutes on the elliptical then maybe two sets on a random machine then leave. I didn’t ask her at first because I was an asshole 18 year old and didn’t know how to broach the conversation with someone who was abt 25 years my senior.

She eventually told me a year after she came back to the gym what happened to her. She got pulled over for speeding in a village in Germany and the Polizei took her to the station. They proceeded to beat her viciously to the point she had to go to the hospital, shouting various slurs at her, and accusing her of contributing to the police brutality common in the US. The Polizei apparently kept attacking her for 15 hours until her husband marched into the station and threatened to go to the consulate and seek out the base commander. The only reason why he knew she was there was bc her school-aged children were in the car and apparently what they saw while she was getting beaten scared them enough that they refuse to speak about it.

She was ashamed and terrified. Sometimes I contact her and she says that her fear has largely made her agoraphobic. Idk what the point of saying this other than to say I wish (primarily) white Europeans would stop acting like they’re so disconnected from police violence and that it only happens in America. In my experience, after living in multiple countries around the world, is that police brutality is less so a symptom of a failing government, but rather a symptom of a bigoted society. The power they wield and what they can get away with is from a failing government. You give a bigot power and theyre likely to go on a power trip bc they have direct control over the people they view as less than equals.

Idk idk I just really dislike Europeans commenting on American politics like their shit don’t stink.

wow that is absolutely horrific. i hope she’s ok now and that she one day can live a normal life again. unfortunately this kind of story is not too foreign to me… it sounds almost exactly like what my auntie went through in bahrain. she got called over by the cops and brutally tortured for iirc 13+ hours. while torturing her they kept telling her it’s her fault and that she betrayed the royal family or some shit. police brutality is an issue not only in the US, but in Europe, in the Middle East, and probably really every region in the world. it really annoys me how many europeans on here will say shit like “idc about police brutality and anti-blackness, im not american ☺️” all while blissfully unaware how insanely racist europeans also are.

[crystalavengerva]

hiii i would like to hear about these ocs you speak of… if you don’t mind!

Omg omg omg okay someone actually asking about them makes me so legitimately happy 😭😭💕 thank you

For context:

Spidernote was a fanfiction I wrote in middle school about live action light turner, Peter Parker, and regular light yagami and Zac Efron going to high school together. I’m not sure why or how it started. It was supposed to be this joke or prank or smth on my friend but idk how???? Lmao. But I grew too starched to the characters and they became near unrecognizable from any source material and I’ve been rotating them in my head for years like a little eternal microwave plate.

(I apologize in advance. Some of this will be told through screenshots because last time I tried to copy and paste my Tumblr crashed 💀)

Leon and Lottie

This relationship is a bit iffy but I believe I still did alright haha.

They look very similar and they’re both very extroverted people.

But I also enjoy the alliteration here, both focus on L.

Saying Lo and Lee together brings to mind the ideas of Nabokov’s Lolita (and his use of ‘master hand’ throughout is something I’d want to mimic, to make the artist intrinsic to the work) (sorry im just ramblinfnffdhdh)

Oh! Their sounds are also mirrors here as well!!! Leon (eee-oh) and Lottie (oh-eee) (although hers is more of an ah/aw)

The main focus though is on the double L, they’re connected. They’re similar.

(Also Charlotte has French origins and Le is the in French so)

Leon and Agnus

Agnus may seem like the odd one out of the bunch here and she very much is. She’s been separated from reality/the rest of the world on and off again the past few years and is very different from others.

But my favorite thing here is this:

Leon means Lion but Agnus means Lamb. Like ISNT THAT SO COOL!!!!!!! I could go into their dynamic and how that relates but aghheheh

Agnus and Lo

Charlotte is actually a diminutive of Charles and means "free man" and "petite"

The focus here is on petite. Lottie is obsessed with her self presentation and her execution of femininity. She feels inadequate as a woman. Agnus is the opposite and has lost her ability to truly care about anything. The idea of being little/small is something that drives Lo a lot in her search to be the perfect woman. Agnus represents pureness and chastity (lamb symbolism as well as name meaning). Anyways i could write a lot here about the two views and performances on/of feminity and actually how el and Leon execute masculinity differently and how that’s a connecting point between them and aghhahhh)

(Info abt Elliot I wrote to myself in the iOS notes app when I was insane:)

ELLIOT RAMBLINGZ

elliot did not grow up in a stable environment. his parents weren't exactly poor but they aren't like rich. he lives with his mom and her brother so his uncle but they weren't super stabel because his father died in military service when he was young. he grew up in a not great neighborhood. part of the military service is like elliot's grandparents were immigrants from china i still have to flesh out stuff. it was about the idea he had to earn his place in the united states...anywayz he has like really messed up views on masculinity because his father died "bravely" in combat and his mother and uncle had really high expectations and he just never was that good at school and his uncle never liked that he was so weak and frail. he didn't have the best constitution. as a kid he'd get sick a lot and not interract with others. he felt like he had to fend for himself a lot growing up and constantly worried about being part of other's lives but could not find stability. he learned to shut himself up. to suck things up. one very kdfjdlskfjsdf okay sorry like words cant rn. there was an extremely formative experience he had when he was younger of going into a convenience store gas station place and was upset and anyways a gunman bust in and he was held up (along with everyone else in the store) and he froze up, he started to cry and he gave his money to the guy ebcause he was so scared. and his uncle was not happy and bad stuff happened sorry this makes me sound so dumb and lame im like "erm i have such ocol charactersz" but theyerelrkelkh

anyeays ermm he was physically abused and traumatized but felt so insecure about not being brave like those around him, not protecting himself. his whole life he was called not a real man, he wasn't brave enough or strong enough. he's seen people hurt people he liked, people he had once liked hurt him. the earth hurt too much. he is like one of those cynical edgy teenage boys who's not exactly an incel but like you know the vobeim talking about? he hates himself. he feels like hes not enough and is constantly suffering under this toxic idea of masculinity and projecting an image of strength despite being scared. but he projects all of this insecurity outward. he can't trust people. he sees any kindness as faking he sees niceness as all for a manipulative reason and he projects it as like violence sometiems like he genuinely ahas thought about killing people but is too much of a "coward" to actually do it. He’s not a great person but he’s caught in this constant spiral.

erm but anywayz its going to utilize a lot of the techniques established by nabokov in lolita and marquez in 100 yrs of solitude. these are the characters, but its kind of like a story about the individual who would write this. interlaced throughout is the idea of writing, the impossibility of what's written. these are characters in a story (not going completely into brecht's Verfremdungseffekt but definitely pulling attention into how the ideas and temperments of an individual influence the work.) how the ideas of story is magic, how storytellers take part in stories and how audiences take part of them. this is actually very similar to some of the topics addressed by ryukishi in the no naku koro ni (wtc) series especially in umineko. and spidernotes like ties into this idea of identity in story...which retroactively its just...really cool....spider (weaving webs, creation, the tangled and complex nature of the self) and notes (stories, ideas, writing) the transfixing of the soul into the written form...like. like all of the characters have a piece of me (me as in the personnae of an author, as in the narrator in a sense, even if me isn't the narrator) i as a creator and fundamentally tied to this. this may seem in contradiction to barthes "le mort d'author" (the death of the author) and his post-structuralist ideas to connect my work so intrinsically with my life, but i disagree. i find lolita, for example, to be an extremely post-modernist work. they are ideas that can be interpreted beyond their logical symbols. the story is not without this ability for interpretation, like that,, it's about inrerpretation and kdjfkdjfh the mutability of peoprkerek. though i do need to look bsck on the ideas of literary theory as posited by the framework fathers of modernism,,cannot remember his name. i believe it was richard. in a sense i wonder if brecht would think in a more modernist perspective rather than postmodernist because the initial language of symbols (as that is what modernims is based on) would be like bsed on the dichotomy of theatre vs life. like the idea of modernism is very interesting, especially, liek the dichotomiy sorry OFF TOPIC OF MY OWN RANT.

Writing them out makes my ideas seem very shallow lmaoo 😭😭😭

But anywhozzley, literally every part of this stuff pretty much has a thematic or character reason for existence. Like their appearances aren’t arbitrary and each choice is deliberate and. I just have thought about them too much and literally any questions about them or this concept or what the story is about I shall cherish forever. So feel free to analyze or critique or comment or ask questions because this made me so happy to have an excuse to talk about them but also obviously you don’t have to. Thank you 😭😭😭😭

(Agnes and Leon. They never have the right hair texture for them it’s so sad. Their hair is more curly😔)

[makiema]

finally finished writing about how much stormbringer enhances the skk dynamic which was at a nascent stage in Fifteen and anticipates the developments which happen later and culminate in Dead Apple where the faith they have in each other is absolutely remarkable! the fact that i said i’d do this in a few hours yesterday but it took me like 24 hrs to finish i have an attention span of a whole 2 minutes 💀

my favorite thing about stormbringer is that it actually builds up on the concepts/themes introduced in Fifteen so it's a glimpse into what has changed in dazai and dazai & dhuuya after one year of being together. As much as it's about chuuya confronting his past and his identity this is also about dazai’s development from who he was in fifteen. chuuya and rimbaud both left their marks on dazai and in Stormbringer we see him, actually trying to emulate or follow in a sense a way of life, that chuuya and rimbaud represented. Stormbringer is not just about chuuya, abt his test of humanity, or he coming in terms with who or what he is. it's about dazai too. it's about dazai developing or at least attempting to develop what he calls “boyish”/ “ordinary” in Fifteen. its not about chuya having an identity crisis. in fact what we understand from Code 04's last section is that chuuya never considered it as his crisis and neither did dazai. so to dazai “saving chuuya is important, human or not doesn't matter” and when dazai gives chuuya time to think abt what the operation will cost him chuuya doesnt so much as flinch form his purpose. This goes on to show unlike verlaine he doesnt care about memory and certainly doesnt consider it as the only determinant of someone being human. He cares more abt yokohama and his friends and in that, in caring abt his “family”, he is just as human as the next person. whether he’s factually human or not comes secondary to his desire to save people. This is a message that the quality of being human has more to do with embodying human qualities or humanity than having memories and lineage. so yeah stormbringer is essentially about embracing humanity but this happens on 2 levels: both chuuya and dazai embrace humanity. Going back to the boyish or ordinary bit, im talking abt this segment:

here dazai is shocked because he assumed everyone “gangsta” and everyone crazy powerful delighted in homicide, in deliberately indulging in the macabre. but he is proved wrong. He logically concluded that anyone with power more than average and belonging to the underground would kill people and delight in that because it’s a given they lack any kind of moral understanding. To that end, they’d be exalted at the prospect of relentlessly shooting a dead body, mutilating it and dishonoring it. The mafia code (any general mafia code) works in a way where honor and death goes hand in hand. So only the lowest of the low would do that to a dying person, who even when faced with certain death is loyal to his own organisation. This really shows that even within the mafia dazai is the only person whos like the devil incarnate. So yeah dazai at this sate far lower than even a mafia member. But chuuya who actually embodiess the mafia code and is incredibly loyal to his organisation and “family” [ putting family in quotes bc he himself calls his friends family 🥺] ofc kicks the gun away. From dazai’s pov chuuya being as insanely powerful as he is should also do the same. But chuuya comes along and suggests that even enemies should be shown respect where it’s due. And that is what an ordinary person, oblivious to mafia life (mafia life as in waht dazai makes of it) thinks. So in undermining the binary between “ordinary” and “mafia” chuuya proves that being mafia doesnt necessarily mean selling your soul to the devil and giving up the last smidge of humanity. In fact by embodying qualities like compassion and kindness and mutual respect, you can make the mafia a better place for yourself and for the other members. Now in Stormbringer, we see how this affected dazai. here dazai is introduced as someone mercilessly killing to set up the channel. 

Now to expand the channel one would need to keep doing it right? To mercilessly kill ppl and stuff but instead what he does is hand the channel over to chuuya bc he knows chuuya wouldnt handle it like him. im not suggesting that dazai miraculously becomes v good or anything with dazai the key words is “try” or “to some extent” like in Fifteen when Chuuya asks “do u wanna live” he’s like “ not to that extent”. similarly its not to say he doesnt kill people anymore. it is that he tries to lessen the number of casualties by handing over one of the most troublesome channels to chuuya who would manage it in a much more humane way. That dazai draws from his friends/at least tries to is smth we’ll see again later on when he deals with akutagawa. He talks about odasaku and ofc its baffling to him that a mafia member as powerful as him would be taking acre of orphans. and dazai says but he cant afford to be that kind and proceeds to shoot akutagswa but again does so in a calculated way such that he doesnt end up killing him ( im NOT justifying dazai’s abuse not at all im just saying that its hard to believe he coincidentally knew the exact no of bullets that aku could block. and had odasaku’s words and his way of life not been in the back of his mind he could’ve ended up killing aku) coming back to chuuya and dazai we also see him avoiding further conversation on the jewelry channel thing as he says “leave that for now”. He does a similar thing again when mori brings up the concept of double suiciding with chuuya.

 Its a HUGE thing for him to digest that him suiciding would inevitably spell the doom for chuuya. this puts an unimaginable responsibility on him. And he avoids further discussion on this. Now we know dazai is the rambly type. Even in the most dire moments he goe son with his LOONG monologues so really he is the last person who’d avoid a conversation but he deliberately does it in these 2 instances because its hard for him to grasp these things. That he can go against his nature and do a conscientious thing by handing over one of the most grisly channels to chuuya (i dont think dazai’s nature is evil. Or even if it is, its a a social construct keeping in mind the war ravaged times or its mori’s construct because he does exploit dazai to the hilt. but dazai ofc thinks of himself as non-human, devious. perfectly devilish...etc.) And also the fact that someone as suicidal as him is actually responsible for the life of someone else is really too much to take in. a whole 10 seconds pause indicates just how much he was thrown off when mori opened his eyes to the reality of things: if he dies, chuuya inexorably dies as a consequence. also i dont think the “wow” here or the next bit :

is something jokey. if it was like haha double suicide with chuuya is the worst haha wanna do it w pretty lady kind of a deal. that pause would have been unnecessary. dazai’s immediate reaction would’ve been whining and shit. the use of “froze” too implies the gravity of the situation. so ofc what is “wow” is how much meaning his life has for someone else. and for some so much....better than him. and what is unacceptable is this sad, sad truth that his life (to which he ascribes no value) would be so inextricably linked with someone else’s and hold so much meaning to them. it is like when a suicidal person at the brink of suicide understanding his life is not his own. his life and death holds consequences for ppl surrounding him. so both of these are huge things to grasp and at both these times dazai is visibly shaken up so much so that he doesnt want to do his favorite thing- ramble in a condescending tone. smth he does in so many instances. this really is a testimony to the fact that things are changing in him. the redemption process has begun. he’s no longer the kind of maniac he was before he encountered chuuya. when zuko underwent his transition in atla he was so shaken up after one (1) right decision he had a fever. i think this is true for anyone who’s trying to change. change is after all a huge thing for everyone. ofc he’ll be unsettled. so anyways this is proof that he has indeed come a long way from being someone who revelled at the prospect of meaningless bloodshed.

now coming to the concept of love he assumes he’d get sick of love and die:

and that death is the singular goal worth chasing after because it makes you feel more alive/get a fuller picture of what living entails. but here he is erring by supposing love is something that’ll bore him/have no meaning. and it cant provide him that “something” he’s looking for. at this point he hasn’t loved so he doesnt know whether he’ll be sick of it or if it'll have no impact. And yet he’s morose and regretful. this is a kind of self-imposed constraint hes putting on himself. he cancels out the v idea of love because hes convinced it isnt worth it. he hasnt even been in love okay scratch being in love that sounds romantic and i really dont mean love in a romantic sense here...its just love. in general. any form is cool. anyway so dazai is not familiar with any kind of love. He is entirely alien to the concept. he doesnt even know what a friend/partner is so he doesnt know what love is. this is cleared out here when rimbaud confesses he did everything for paul and dazai is unconvinced:

chuuya ofc admonishes him and shuts him up for good, he says dazai has no right lookind down upon smth he doesnt understand. he doesnt understand friendship, love. or loyalty. or how important those feelings are at this point. now this situation is turned on its head in stormbringer. but before we go into that let’s look at the message rimbaud had for both of them. ik he specifically asks for chuuya to “live” but there’s purpose behind including both of them in the frame. it’s a message they should both take to heart. and at the end of it its implied both are changed after hearing it:

and in this message the first bit is for chuuya. what he says is basically memory doesn’t make u human... ”you are you” just a frame or not doesnt matter. and even if hes just a frame, he is still beautiful. beauty actually is a v important concept in literature starting right from Plato to Shakespeare. i’d not bring this here but because bsd is so deeply rooted in literature i feel like the reference to beauty, and later on to soul and even warmth and also the universal tone of this message carries some meaning. so the thing is  both Plato and Shakespeare were endorsed the idea of love as a force awakened in the world by beauty which then leads the soul to perfection. so humans and by extension, all life are beautiful frames that can inspire love. this concept is also there in Romantic poetry like Keats and Wordsworth all of them talked about loving beauty in nature and how that can elevate the body mind and soul. so essentially in telling this to chuuya what ehe basically means is that chuuya just by being him, by being a beautiful framework can inspire love and warmth in others and thats a great purpose! how much chuuya understands of this purpose with his one (1) braincell and his low self esteem is questionable but he gets some sense of belonging. now this is a two way relationship so ofc dazai has to be factored in. he comes in the next part: 

these are from 2 different translation so the disparity im sorry ;-; but anyway,  this last part abt the world being a cold place. then paul. then “warmth” is a message to dazai who’s been introduced to us as cold-hearted and having like no bearings of a human being. this is the reason why its important for both o f them to be there. now going back to chuuya being a beautiful framework, the framework can be beautiful in so far as its beauty is appreciate by someone and inspires warmth and love in someone. this again is the whole beauty/beholder nature/the romantic concept that is there in shakespeare and in Romantic poetry where both are a part of a codependent relationship. so what rimbaud implies here is that dazai can have that kind of a relationship with another person (chuuya) just like rimbaud had with paul which makes him warm and the world doesnt feel cold anymore. rimbaud has no regrets about what he did because. so the idea is that dazai and chuuya can share the same dynamic. also after this, the narrative says that their hearts are now changed and wont return to what they were before....and even their souls are refined in a way. but in Fifteen we dont have a concrete proof of how this happened bc the novel ends at this point. Instead, Stormbringer shows exactly how deep the impact of those words is: 

this is the third instance of dazai showing hesitation and once again this has to do with chuuya. the seed of the dynamic that rimbaud was talking about  is already germinating in him. his reactions, his fidgeting, his hesitancy, in response to chuuya’s situation is such a big contrast to his cocksure self when he’s conversing with adam and verlaine. after this of course we have: 

not only does he clearly express his concern but he gives chuuya 2 whole mins to make a decision and based on that he’s prepared to overturn the operation. the success rate of an alternative plan will ofc be lesser than the og one but that doesnt faze dazai. he’s ready to turn the tide for chuuya’s sake and if this is not development idk what is. just a year ago, he was someone to whom the concept of rimbaud going thru all that trouble for his friend was a lost concept. ironically enough, now he finds himself doing something that is along the same lines. he puts chuuya above his mission. to him, chuuya is more important than getting a satisfactory result. another bit that i wanna talk abt is that one controversial section where dazai says he’ll save chuuya, human or not, and then the justification is: 

i think a lot of people got mad bc of this and honestly at first glance i was peeved too. as a chuuya stan some of the shit dazai has done so far did rub me the wrong way. i love skk obv but still those were moments that kind of left a bad taste in the mouth. i’ll discuss them later on bc stormbringer helps allay that feeling. coming back to the “i wanna see chuuya suffer” part firstly context is important. ofc someone like dazai cant be expected to be upfront about his feelings with ppl (or AI) he barely knows. so what be relays to adam, is only partly true and its actually a kind of a twist in concept. the things is, and this is  smth dazai knows all too well is that ppl suffer simply on account of being human. human suffering is brought on because humans, by virtue of being humans, feel. so when he says he’s willing to acknowledge chuuya as human despite what N and Verlaine said he’s already admitting that chuuya suffers. so there is really nothing “new” to see for him. he knows chuuya suffers already and he does too because they’re both humans trying to make it thru their messed up lives. also chuuya “ceasing to be human” is a p huge concern for him bc he himself is like that. just like with the suicide thing, it bothers dazai when someone else shares his situation/his fate like as long as his life is his own, he has no problem ending it whenever but the situation is complicated when someone else’s life span is determined by that decision. and similarly, as long as he is “no longer human” its not that much of an issue because he’s like resigned to a doomed fate but someone like chuuya ceasing to be human or worse yet never getting to know if hes human or not are pressing matters. so anyways what he actually means here is that in saving chuuya, he saves someone who suffers just like he does and in their case, even the cause of suffering boils down to a shared psychological conflict: what essentially constitutes being human and if im human or not. now this sharing of pain and suffering is the foundation of forming a connection with someone, which makes life a little better. here again, what rimaud imparted to dazai and chuuya is driven home. also dazai’s key anxiety is not finding meaning/anything. this “anything” can be assumed to be something that justifies life. so all his anxiety and frustration stems from the fact that there really is no discernible meaning to be found in the mechanism of life. so it is an empty pursuit because it is true that nothing can explain why feelings of pain and suffering are exponentially heavier than feelings of happiness or why after getting to experience one (1) free day we’re back to square one where life is grueling. these are questions that really dont have an answer so every time dazai like gazes into the abyss and says he didnt  find anything, he is not so much asking if he’ll ever find anything as swallowing the hard truth that there is nothing to be found, no singular entity exists that can magically justify everything. again drawing upon literature or philosophy more specifically, there’s a concept called Absurdism which says the only philosophical truth so to say is this that life is absurd and looking for meaning is futile. instead what we can do is accept that it is absurd and deal with it in the best way possible, by finding little sources and moments of happiness, and strewing them together so we feel somewhat content. even if it is just for a fleeting second. and this happiness/contentment amidst a wretched life (altho temporal) can be found in friendship, in sharing, and even in having fun with people you’re comfortable with! this is actually why dazai wants to save chuuya and now it may seem like im interpreting his words through the shipping lens but thats not so and it can be corroborated by looking into dazai’s words to odasaku. after chuuya, dazai’s next attempt at friendship was odasaku who he found “interesting”. now when odasaku sort of like threw hands and chose death over having to live a life without the orphans, dazai tried to stop him not by saying stuff like life is good. and things will def change for the better. but instead he admits that living is hard and the sense of void is ubiquitous and yet he doesnt want him to  up and die because then he would be sad. because the little comfort that he got from odasaku and something he probably assumed odasaku also got from him would be gone. [how much odasaku considered dazai a source of comfort remains unclear. in fact the reason odasaku gave up and died was because he did not have this. this feeling of sharing in someone else’s suffering and seeking comfort in friends in the real world. instead he was too vested in his ideal world. his over reliance on an entirely idealistic concept is actually what pushed him over the edge. and this would have been the case for dazai too had he not encountered and sought comfort and companionship in chuuya and eventually in odasaku ] so this again goes on to show how rimbaud’s words changed dazai’s heart. and in a way dazai really has been doing this unconsciously form the v beginning like by teasing chuuya continually in Fifteen. you dont expect someone as cold as him to indulge in friendly bickering and taunting so often but he does. that there is significance and even happiness in that is something he learns over time, after rimbaud’s words to him. although these things seem futile on the surface they give a moment’s respite. so although chuuya spinning dazai on a rope in stormbringer might seem weird to everyone, they still serve a purpose:  

what shirase puts forward is particularly relevant here because neither dazai nor chuuya is fully aware of the extent of their feelings (or even what those feelings are like they dont know what label to put. so typical oblivious lovers) for each other or what they stand to gain just by driving each other nuts but there is something intangible but satisfying to be felt. a kind of contentment that helps him continue. one day at a time. there is no one great “thing” that can make him like wake up one day feeling like he doesnt want to die ever again. but again like i said before, the key word for dazai is “extent” so, these little things to some extent contribute to a sense of fulfilment which helps him keep death at bay. thats why he’s bent on saving chuuya bc he knows they can share in their suffering and make life better for each other. its not like he wants chuuya to suffer. chuuya will suffer nonetheless like every other human. but in suffering together there is something to be found so he doesnt want him to cease being human. 

this covers more or less the intertextuality between Stormbringer and Fifteen. i just wanna talk a bit more about a couple other moments in Stormbringer that i feel are p important because they put some things in the series in perspective and also made the dead apple moment 10x more emotional 🥺 one thing that really strikes me is the absolute fanon level of comfort that dazai and chuuya share in Strombringer. its like scenes form k-drama lol. 

so yeah this stuff. compare this with dazai’s reaction @atsushi when he drops im not saying that its not just a joke and that what im saying should be the right way to look at this contrast. its not like that at all. but what this does is give an estimate to the readers just how close and comfortable dazai feels when its chuuya. and this plus everything i rambling on abt for so long also gives us an estimate about the sincerity of dazais feelings. now 2 things always bothered me : the fact that dazai actually left chuuya and the fact that after the fight against lovecraft he actualy deserted him (this again can ofc be construed as just a humorous bit but still it did leave a bad taste in my mouth) dazai leaving the mafia is ofc something he had to do to fulfil oda’s dying wish but it still dint sit right with me that he would abandon chuuya. just like oda levaing is harder on dazai, dazai leaving is harder on chuuya. its always harder on the one left behind. so anyway, these sorts of things sometimes made me doubt dazai’s feelings but now that stormbringer clears it all up i do think there is a larger motif at work here. when mori offers dazai to come back to the mafia in s2 we see him saying that it was mori who kicked him out and that he did so because he was afraid dazai would usurp his position. so he set it up in a way that dazai would be forced to leave but on his own accord. now more than usurpation i believe what mori really did fear is that dazai had no allegiance to the mafia (which is actually true) bc he doesnt have that sense of loyalty and that to him his friends were more important than swearing allegiance to mori. (which again is true). so by getting oda killed, the message that mori seemed to be giving out was if dazai didnt leave he would do it again. and if we consider ango’s betrayal which had already transpired at that point, the one mori would next target to sort of get at dazai would inevitably be chuuya. this is only conjecture but still, i do believe this might as well be true because then it would explain why dazai didnt carry chuuya back to the base after their fight [something he was v comfortable doing in Stormbringer. in fact in the first case he carries chuuya back to the billiards bar and not to the mafia’s base so he could hear albatross’ last words 🥺] its because mori needs to know unlike dazai, chuuya is absolutely loyal to him which regrettably he is. it kinda becomes imperative therefore on part of dazai to make it seem that way to mori. that they really are at each others throats and that dazai is insignificant to chuuya. and that the mafia comes before dazai. (which is not true bc we see chuuya protecting his friend [shirase] while also staying loyal to the mafia in Stormbringer) 

mori also in his own way tries to provoke hostility b/w them like in Dead Dpple when he was all like yeah so dazai is the star and chuuya is merely bait. so it kinda makes sense if dazai left the mafia not only to like do good work but also to protect chuuya from mori. also the fact that chuuya did the same thing— left the Sheep and joined PM to protect Shirase from the mafia makes be believe that my speculation is plausible given all the parallels we find between dazai and chuuya. 

and the last bit is about the brilliant Dead Apple scene and how much added context it gets in light of Stormbringer. 

in this scene dazai first says: “you used Corruption believing in me?” and then the translation is “how beautiful” which is an okay translation but the exact thing dazai said was “nakasetekurerune” which literally is : youre gonna make me cry you know? now my knowledge of japanese is like duolingo level but i do know “nakasete” has to do with crying and “kureru” is used by the receiver to indicate he’s receiving a feeling/object from someone close. so basically chuuya trusting him is something so beautiful that it could almost move him to tears. now lets look at dazai’s intro in Stormbringer:

dazai, being dazai, ofc would be able to tell genuine trust from fealty out of fear so ofc the fact that chuuya has this kind of blind faith in him is overwhelming for him. also stormbringer really expands on the sight effects of Corruption in full detail. its so PAINFUL and to think that chuuya would jump into it right away for dazai’s sake.....no wonder he is so soft when deactivating him. and then he proceeds to flirt for a little bit with the Snow White and the kiss of life reference. but this flirting doesnt seem even a little out of place now. it doesn't feel like smth meaningless or smth that dazai is just saying as a joke. that there is absoluetly no subtext to making a statement like that. instead that kind of flirting feels like smth inspired from a deep, deep familiarity with someone who really shares his heart and soul. when he talks to chuuya abt the problem of not knowing whether he is human or not, it is a problem that is as central to him as it’s to chuuya. not feeling fully reconciled to a human identity is a problem thats fundamental to both of them. I don’t think familiarity gets any deeper than this where you share the exact same psychological problem. so its really wonderful how we can trace the skk development now: what starts out as a crush on part of dazai or not a crush exactly rather, a feeling of perplexed admiration because chuuya is breathtakingly beautiful inside out, eventually gain all these layers and develops into something meaningful where they have so much faith in each other and where they literally help each other live. knowing someone out there shares your exact issue so you’re really not alone in this is perhaps the greatest comfort in the world. also now its clear how both of them would have turned out had they not met each other and had they not taken in rimbaud’s advice. chuuya in his desire to learn about himself and frustration at not being able to do the same would have perhaps spiralled downward and ended up becoming like verlaine. he is his double here after all. and had dazai not seen chuuya up close being the wonderful person he is, he too would have probably ended up developing a god complex and becoming like fyodor. dazai is there to save chuuya literally from dying a monster and chuuya is there to remind him he too can try and mend his ways and embrace his human side. after all chuuya has so much trust him in! (despite him having questionable methods) for both of them, it starts out as an attempt to be more human, then establishing a fruitful partnership, and finally coming in terms with their feelings to some extent. for dazai, he’s comfortable enough to engage in occasional flirting at this point and for chuuya it’s playing along with dazai’s antics (well with the ones he get 💀 pretty boy has half a functional braincell) and openly showing his concern for him. so really by confirming their feelings what strombringer does is enhance the skk development in a way that Dead Apple doesnt seem like fan service anymore. the fact that dazai would casually flirt or be comfortable with chuuya landing on his crotch 💀 all that isnt as ridiculous as it first seemed because stormbringer lays the groundwork and anticipates all the intimate/flirty skk moments that have happened till now and ig will happen again soon. 

[rredboard]

i know we’ve all seen the nightwing movie intro post and i want to propose an intro to a tim drake (as robin) movie. also this is long so its under the cut

first of all i think that in this movie jack should still be alive and married to dana at the town house, after he gets out of his rich person depression. so if i’m remembering correctly, that would also mean to include steph, bernard, and darla as his friends. i think that one of the best aspects of tim’s run as robin is the fact that he’s hiding being robin from his dad, and the way that forced the robin run to focus on more than just being robin. i think that of tim’s generation of heroes at the time he was the only one who had to actively hide his hero status from his parent. (actually no that’s wrong there was anita fite, but i’m going to maintain this bc her dad was already entrenched in weird shit working for the deo, so a superhero daughter was not an insane jump i would say, esp with her family situation, by which i mean the guy that killed her parents) so anyways all this to say that i want the tension btwn his civilian life and his robin life to play a large role in the story, bc i love that shit.

so in that vein, i would want the movie to start out in his civilian life, and in a similar way to the nightwing movie idea where it doesn’t show his face until the title screen. like, we’re in the theater, we know what we’re seeing, so all we have to introduce is his civie life, bc we know who batman is and how he works.

so anyways to get to the actual intro…

we start out in literally the messiest teenage boy’s room you’ve ever seen. stacks of cds, messy notebooks with papers half ripped out, a half deconstructed computer tower, a picture of steph in a purple frame on the desk. there’s a photo booth strip of photos peeking out from behind with the core four, one of them wearing large oversized sunglasses so you can’t see his face. you hear a rustling sound off screen and a hand reaches onscreen and grabs a skateboard as a female voice (dana) yells for tim vaguely from a room away/downstairs.

we see tim’s legs/board as he jogs downstairs, then scan over like, family photos? to show the circus photo, show that janets died, jacks remarried, and like maybe some school awards? that taper off over time to show the effect of robin on his grades? like he’s focusing even more on being a hero, adding to the tension btwn civilian/hero life. maybe on the fridge there’s a report card with a c or d grade circled with the words “we will talk about this” or smth on it in red pen. tim opens the fridge, grabs a snack, and continues out the building, calling out a goodbye to dana/his dad on his way out.

outside, we see tim throw down his board and start skating (this part i see being soundtracked with i wanna be sedated by the ramones. major 90s teen movie vibes is what i want from this in general). he starts skating and we see the people he skates by wave at him, maybe with birds of prey-style notes pointing to each person saying what robin saved them from? idk maybe too derivative lol. anyways he keeps skating, doing a few tricks as he goes. the board obviously has like robin, nightwing, wonder girl, superboy, and impulse symbol stickers on it. maybe there’s like a handmade purple “s” design too for spoiler. anyways he keeps skating until he gets to a skatepark, where he meets steph, who says smth like “you ready to go?” and has either roller skates or in-line skates, obviously purple bc i want to really commit to stephs love affair with purple. we hear like a yes or smth from tim, who then skates into the park and we do a freeze frame on tim in the middle of a trick mid air, where we actually see his face for the first time, and get the big robin title over it. i want this to be disgustingly nineties.

i don’t know which robin arc i would want this to follow, or like a different plot, but i would like jack to find out he’s robin and make him quit. i’d rather have steph just get closer to bruce than become robin. i lovelovelove steph as robin but i’d want the movie to start and finish with tim as robin and i 1.) don’t want steph to die and 2.) just think that war games is too much to tackle to get him back as robin. i also don’t want a war games movie bc despite the fact that tim’s part of wg at his school is my favorite part of the arc, i really don’t want thay in a movie. like i would hate that in a way i can’t describe.

but also, i do want steph to be in a lot of this movie. she’s a really important character in tim’s run as robin, and at this point in the run, a lot of the issues were like half steph stories. also, as much as i love the core four, i’d like to focus on just gotham. i’d also like to maybe do tim’s 16th birthday arc, but i’d want him to already be 16 so…🤷‍♀️

soundtrack: lots of 70s/80s/90s rock and pop. the ramones, the clash (obvi), some led zeppelin, deceptacon by le tigre, blondie or maybe some spice girls? teenage dirtbag by wheatus is kind of a must. so is the cure. also when bernard hangs out with tim i want stacys mom to play when he sees dana. i have a brand and i stick with it. also maybe some rooney. during a steph part i’d really like chick habit by april march to play. also kids in america playing during a spoiler and robin fight montage.

so anyways yeah. that’s all i have. a lot of words for a little substance. and skater boy tim. i want tim’s vibes to be like a mix of both ferris and cameron from ferris bueller’s day off

[waspenned]

🎵 -> song choice is killshot by magdalena bay !

penn’s 200 follower celebration

what a bop I am absolutely boogying over here its giving like evil dark electropop britney spears??? if that makes sense??? analysis under the cut as per usual !!!1 ALSO 18+ ISH???

ok so looking at the genius w have some ideas abt unfulfilled yearning with some undercurrents of like. violence and I AM SO HERE FOR IT... maybe it’s bc it sounds a bit spooky but I think I would want to lean towards maybe an enemies to lovers vibe here in terms of the death motif and ‘wickedness’ mentions. maybe a vigilante/vigilante thing like with Peter and Felicia but more hostile and SEXY bc im a twisted cycle path.......

for me its giving a dark colour palette with bright neon highlights esp w the ‘late shift’ line seen in the first verse as well as the imagery of the phone cutting through the darkness?? I want to imagine Peter out on patrol late into the night meeting someone he knows he isn't supposed to be friendly with but is just... head over heels fuckinf obsessed w him. id also probably experiment w some religious imagery in this just due to all of the song references to wickedness/sin/demonicness and also bc its tasty... its giving soooo Adam and Eve and temptation and stuff like how could I not.. ESP WITH THIS LINE

If I wanna stay alive You should never cross my mind

these lines are v interesting to me bc they can be taken a whole host of diff ways like... in a Peter-trying-to-protect-himself-from-ur-dangerous-sexy-wiley-charms way or smth else .. the line after about having ‘been through it’ could maybe even narrow this down to an Andrew-verse fic; in terms of post-gwen trauma.., maybe Andy!Pete using sex with someone not good for him as a form of distraction or maybe even punishment for himself??? opens up lots of lovely angsty doors with sub Peter written all over them WHICH U KNO I LOVEEEE I love this idea of Peter being tempted by something ‘sinful’ and then maybe experiencing a metaphorical ‘fall’ from grace esp as hes a jesus figure !! maybe him being resistant at first and then giving in and being all needy bc he loves the way it makes him feel ......... yes .... rubbing my evil little hands together

also if ur looking for something similar - try love you to death by fickle friends

all in all I think ur looking at a dark gritty enemies to lovers fic with some hot steamy smutty scenes - lots of temptation/forbidden fruit/pomegranate/blood imagery and religious allusions to really elevate the sexiness.... also submissive post Gwen garf!Peter obsessed with a mean-ish, toppy, vigilante reader that bullies him in just the way he likes it... im insane feral frothing at the mouth rn ... AND THEN AND THEN he can b all emotional abt his past and it can open up to a lovely more caring dynamic OOOOHHHH

[aemoonie]

After watching nct dream reflecting back on their past and present selves for the hello future videos i'm honestly really worried for renjun. I think all of them went through a lot in the industry, especially considering they were minors and how controlled and handled they must have been and still are, not to mention just the general effects fame can have on you but renjun is such an emotional person, he was described in mental training camp as the "artist type" who feels a lot and gets lonely easily and he basically confirmed it himself by saying he gets lonely even on sunny days. He said he values freedom a lot and being able to hold conversation comfortably and without restrictions. I think he's a very determined person and has a good head on his shoulders (in the interview with eric nam he said he went to Korea at 15 bc he wanted to sing and would've done it even if his parents said no. When I was 15 I was just figuring out what music I liked and how I wanted to dress and trying to adjust to highschool, like his determination is insane) and he knows what he wants to get out of life, I think he also lives for himself, and is very confident in who he is but like everyone else he has bad days and I imagine if he gets down it really hits him bc of how emotional he is. It was even said that his personality is very rare and he's just such a precious person. I also worry bc he seems to look detached at times and not really present or in his head compared to the dreamies, but that may just be part of his personality. I hope he can always be happy and experience freedom in the way he describes it and live his life to the fullest. It's also clear he means a lot to his other members, especially jisung and I hope he can rely on them and confind in them (along with his other loved ones) when he needs it. Sorry for the essay but that video hit me and I'm in my soft hours 🥺

On another note he's just such a dreamy and ethereal person, like his mind amazes me. He's so well-spoken and expresses his thoughts so eloquently and gently. Whenever we get glimpses of his thoughts and imagination via his stories is so dreamy and beautiful. Again, with eric nam, when they described their own ideal country he said he would want people to live together in a tree and wear old, classic clothes. Like his mind bruh!! I also liked when mark said he wants to try a more acoustic sound and that he would like to write short stories, like edgar allan poe. It's obvious these boys are much more and deeper than what their loud, celebrity personas show and I really liked some of the personal things they shared.

yes omg get ready folks this is gonna be long lmao

first of all, i totally agree with you! i feel like renjun is getting to the point where he feels comfortable sharing this vulnerable side of his (and true self) with us, and maybe he doesn't feel the need to fit this certain image anymore. remember when he said that sm wanted him to act like a "pure" boy? right, i think he's done with that lol

and yes, they were sooo young when they got into the industry and it would honestly be scarier if they hadn't any issues mentally cause of this. but i love the fact that they are somewhat able to talk about it and while they probably have to walk on eggshells anytime they do, i can just appreciate that (esp. renjun) they feel comfortable enough to want to share it. renjun doesn't strike me as an overly sensitive guy, more like you described: emotional, passionate and introspective.

his determination is really something, like you're totally on point with that! with 15 i was in no way in a headspace where i could have pursued an artistic and/or public career like he has. especially with the harsh trainee schedules, pressure and everything. thinking about my 15-year-old-self moving to a different country and going under such strict training, i probably would've cried every night lol. i hope he could deal with it somewhat good and that with his therapy (and other means) he can take care of his mental health <3 it really itches me to think about him too much, because i just feel so conflicted for him and i can't even imagine how he must feel (since he is actually living this life ya know).

i just hope he doesn't regret with how he chose to pursue his life, i can imagine that, as an idol, you sometimes wonder if it wouldn't have been better to choose a more relaxed career (i have to think about mark saying that he had a lot of doubts). and with what they said about his personality... i mean yes, if he says he does get lonely often, then that isn't pretty at all. and all we can really do as fans is to support him and hope he takes care of his own well-being tbh. i totally agree with you that he has a very interesting mind and can express himself very uniquely, in a way that makes you instantly comfortable. i think that are definitely some of his best strengths. he's very compassionate and considerate and he shows it so effortlessly (honestly i don't even think he realizes what nice energy he has).

and boy, don't even get me started with mark. dude, he is one of the nct members that get reduced to like 3 character traits and then people just move on. like yes, he is a cheerful person who laughs at everything and it's adorable. he may be a bit awkward and he is an insanely talented rapper, but he is also so much more! the fact that he enjoys writing so much really makes me soft!! mark is also much more sensitive and emotionally tuned than what we give him credit for. i feel like people just underestimate fire placements and disregard their emotional nature so often, just because they usually are enthusiastic and not as much the "motherly/comforting" type like water placements. but they also have emotions!! a lot, actually! he is someone who can make people really comfortable around him pretty fast and i can not imagine that many people don't like this guy tbh. his Cancer Mercury (i think) also shows so much, because he is very considerate and i think he takes others way more into consideration than we think. and the way he carries himself in the studio is also so interesting!! anyway, i don't wanna go on forever, mark is best boy

(and side note to mark: acoustic sound?? yes pls i love acoustic stuff T-T i am becoming a #1 mark supporter haha)

and the dreamies in general are of course not those 2-dimensional characters that entertainment industries or their fans often make them out to be. i feel like almost all of them have sides of themselves that we don't know and will probably never get to see and that's totally how it should be. but i feel like people like jaemin or haechan, who have a very unique and expressive way of carrying themselves, get mistaken for just those things too often. the members have mentioned so often that haechan keeps them together and is the one who can cheer them up at all times. i do believe that he can act like "the glue" sometimes, because he is a person who can understand others very well and can communicate smoothly in order to mediate between them. he also has a Cancer Mercury, and from my personal experience as someone with a lot of Cancer/Gemini dynamic (and a Cancer Mercury), that is a combination that does make you want to mediate all the damn time haha. i often find myself in similar situations in my friend groups, where it's always the other people fighting and i become the neutral middle ground where both people go to vent T-T. but i think that is such an underrated quality of him! i feel like he picks up other's moods or problems quickly and is eager to help people, which are amazing qualities!!

and jaemin is just... a mystery to me as well ngl haha. but i feel like he takes such good care of the others without even wanting something in return. like when he talked about doing jeno's laundry in that one live and being like nagging but not seriously lol. he is just someone who takes care without much boasting around or smth and i feel like he plays an important role, that is more in the background. i often wonder what he is like in the dorms and in 7chillin i thought he had such a nice dynamic with all of them. but i feel like he isn't very open with his feelings, which is (his damn Cap Moon) unfortunate, but again, i can only hope he finds a way to cope with his feelings healthily.

anyway, to wrap it up finally; i really like the honesty the dreamies have at the moment and i am glad sm let's them talk a little more personally. i think after coming together again as 7 members, they really realized how much they like being together! and it's so heart-warming to see <3 renjun is truly an amazing person from what we see of him and i love having these conversations about him haha. i feel like he is really getting a lot of well-deserved attention lately and i love that for him <3

[bxngthedoldrums]

im going insane over gabilliam today so im sorry if this is annoying, but which cobra starship songs do u think are about william? personally ive always thought (aside from the kids are all fucked up) keep it simple, you can’t be missed and one day robots will cry are about him lol

u are so valid and this is not annoying at all its actually what i Love 2 Do so thank u

im not gnna be talking abt any late midtown (idk it well enough!) or anything from night shades (i pretend this album doesnt exist) so past that let’s just go album by album,,,

lets start w OBVIOUSLY the kids are all fucked up - since i detailed it in a post a bit ago i won’t get in2 it here but it’s pretty self-explanatory,,past that, while the city sleeps has it’s warmer in the basement. i FEEL LIKE gabe himself joked w william abt this being about him, so if my memory isn’t failing me i’ll try to find a source abt that...i dont think the song is really about him as its kinda just a joke song but its worth noting

keep it simple !!!! this song fucking OWNS and i agree w you,, “i’m down if you don’t expect any more from me” is SO telling,,, yall Know how william talks abt gabe in his songs about him, that kinda looking up to/respecting/being intimidated kinda way. yeah. the rest of it is just cutesy partying stuff and that tracks w them i love it

YOU CANT BE MISSED !!! this song goes CRAZY the chorus is so poignant and “we’re too young / i hate to love you” UMM let us fondly recall william Was 21 when this album came out and like 18 when they met...makes u think....”we’re too fast for love” is a sentiment that has been expressed similarly in some other cobra songs and some tai songs as well !!!

one day robots will cry has always felt like a continuation of you cant be missed to me? so it goes without saying that its prob abt william,, i mean “don’t be afraid my dear / now i’m older” when he just talked abt them being too young in you can’t be missed,, “i’m dying not to hurt you” HOMIE.... “when you were young you kept a list / of the things you’d miss as you got older” sounds like one certain aquarius we know but who’s guessing !!! also the whole “sleep for days” thing just echoes the whole sharing a bed shit both cs and tai talk about OFTEN 

these r the ones u mentioned, but allow me to add on the world has it’s shine. “the way i’m living makes you feel like giving up” compared to the lyrics in chop chop? bruh “i’m gonna make my way home / we can turn our backs on the past” lil similar to the vibe of robots imo....im not even gonna explain these next few lines all u gotta do is read them and u will understand: “i used to dream you up and make you up in my mind” “all i’ve ever wanted is to be understood / you’ve been the only one who could” “not long ago i gave up hope / but you came along and gave me something i could hold onto” ok not long ago sdfghjhgfd when this came out in 2007...ALRIGHT OK ALRIGHT

i may be crucified for this but pleasure ryland sdfghj it seems like such a cutesy jokey song gabe wld definitely write for william to tease him,,like cmon,, “be my hoe ‘cause i’m your moneymaker” also “my heart, it breaks when you get on your knees / won’t you let me take you home?” he’s got JOKES guys gals and nb pals

hot mess is a bit scarce in the gabilliam department other than fuckin FOLD YOUR HANDS CHILD !!!!! HOW THE F U C K . . . whyd they let him release that like truly not one person sat gabe down and was like “maybe this ones too obvious or smth” ... ofc not because pete wentz was enabling his ass and we all know pete’s treacherous past...

anyway that’s some cobra starship songs about william beckett. thank u so much