#but they get to have hot sex all throughout their 20s now

[early-twentysomething]

I can’t shut up about Polin, but I don’t think I can overstate how important it is to me that they took away the 12 year gap between books 3 and 4.

Colin being only 22, which even by the rules of established canon - is young for a man to be married, is a little detail that is so important to me. He’s literally just a socially adept nerd who rather be talking about geography, or writing, or cracking his little dad jokes with his family. He simply realized he was in love with his best friend and was like “yup, no need to wait around I’ll just ask Pen to marry me.” and that realization made him conscious of the fact that he doesn’t have to give a fuck about what society expects of him.

Penelope being my age, (20) and just getting to be married, happy, fulfilled and realized, while still retaining her youthful optimism is a great subversion of the “shy girl who went unnoticed until now” trope. She doesn’t have to wait around for another decade to gain her personal and professional agency, or to escape an emotionally abusive household, and that is such a beautiful thing to see.

It’s one little change that made such a HUGE difference in how their ship dynamic works, and I for one, love it.

[sanarsi]

But daddy, I love him!

older boyfriend!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: Your controversial old boyfriend is back from his deployment. Your father is against your relationship. Or Joel fucks you on his motorcycle. Warnings: +18, MDNI, angst, arguing, age gap (reader is 20, Joel is 40), ex-soldier!boyfriend!Joel, rough sex, unprotected PIV, pussy eating, dirty talk, dom!Joel, motorcycle sex, daddy kink, pet names (daddy, sir, baby girl, good girl), hair pulling, no-outbreak AU and no-Sarah Wordcount: 4,5k An: My boyfriend’s back, and he’s cooler than ever. This text inspired me to write this wonder. Hope you enjoyed bestiesss <3 Music I worked with: Lust For Life - Lana Del Rey, The Weeknd

Masterlist

One message made your heart fill with warmth and your lips formed the most sincere smile in months.

Joel: I'm back.

The same message also caused hell in your house.

Screams echoed throughout the house for almost an hour. Your throat and eyes hurt.

Another dose of hot tears ran down your cheeks as you tried to convince your father to let you meet with Joel.

With your controversial old boyfriend who you met right after your eighteenth birthday. And the whole world could be against your love but you didn't care. After all, it was with him that you experienced the most beautiful things in your life.

He was the one who treated you like his princess the moment your father stopped.

"I forbid you!" Another scream from your father echoed through the kitchen.

Your mother was sitting at the kitchen island drinking soothing herbs. She hadn't said a word for several minutes. Just stared blankly into space.

She wasn't defending you.

She was on her husband's side.

Not on her own daughter's.

"I'm not sixteen anymore so you can forbid me from doing something!"

"You're my daughter! I have the right to forbid you from making the biggest mistake of your life!"

And that's how this conversation looked from the moment it started. From the moment your father accidentally saw a message on your phone.

If it weren't for your inattention, you would be sitting in your room now, waiting for another message. Happy that you're about to see your beloved after a few months of separation. Without letting your parents know where you're going, who you're with, and when you're coming back.

"He's not a mistake!" you screamed, more tears streaming down your neck. Your preparation for the meeting went to hell. You looked like seven disasters. Mascara smudged under your eyes, irritated eyes, tears that had washed off your makeup.

Everything was wrong.

Father snorted dryly at your words, sending you an amused look. It hurt.

"Child, this man is using you. He's manipulating you because you're young and stupid," he growled in disgust.

You blinked a few times, not knowing if it was your heart that broke or the cup your mother had dropped. You stared at the man who raised you and was once the most important person in the world to you.

It was amazing how time can change everything.

"Is that what you think of me?" you asked, smiling sadly. "That I am stupid because I fell in love with someone who treats me like an equal? ​​Shows me respect and understanding?" you said, your voice breaking more and more.

"Oh, please," he snorted, rolling his eyes. "Do you really believe that a guy my age can love you and not just want you in his bed?" There was simply hatred in his gaze. There was no compassion or understanding. In his eyes, you were a stupid and disobedient girl.

You snorted sadly, shrugging your shoulders.

"I don't know, you used to," you replied with venom.

The kitchen fell silent. Your mother was afraid to even look up at you. And your father seemed to be on the verge of madness. He was breathing heavily, looking at you with something dark in his eyes.

You felt the vibration of your phone in your pocket and your heart immediately beat faster.

He had arrived.

"Get out of my sight," he growled, pointing his finger towards the stairs leading to your bedroom.

It was a pity that you didn't intend to go back there. Not after the hatred with which your own family treated you. If they could, they would have disowned you and everything you represented.

But looking at your parents, who were together out of habit and not love, you were glad that you were different than they wanted you to be. You weren't the one who was unhappy. You weren't the one who cheated on your partner at the first opportunity. You weren't the one who fell asleep after an argument about who was the worse person.

You loved and were loved.

"With pleasure," you said angrily and left the kitchen.

But instead of going to your room, you went to the hall to put on your shoes and take your backpack. It was amazing that you had packed everything you needed in it.

All your belongings.

"Where are you going?" he shouted, following you.

"I'm getting out of your sight. Just like you wanted," you said indifferently and with one movement you opened the door. You didn't pay attention to how hard the wooden board hit the wall when you went outside.

Your gaze immediately fell on the end of the sidewalk to the man sitting on the motorcycle.

Time stopped for a moment.

There was only him, smoking a cigarette in peace. A gentle wind blew his flannel shirt, jeans hugged his legs and gel held his slowly graying hair perfectly.

He looked even better than you remembered.

Broad shoulders and muscles tensed under the dark green material. The same wrinkle between his eyebrows and that tired look that immediately lit up at the sight of you.

Your father's screams didn't reach your ears.

There was only the strong beating of your heart and that smirk you missed. You felt butterflies in your stomach as you watched him throw the cigarette butt on the ground and reach behind him for helmet.

The helmet he bought specially for you.

"You're not going anywhere with that man," your father growled, tugging on your elbow to get your attention.

That was enough for the endless moment to end.

You looked at him over your shoulder with a hateful look and yanked your hand out of his grip.

"Try to stop me," you said defiantly.

Your father knew who Joel was. And he might have doubted your love, but he couldn't doubt that Joel was capable of protecting you.

That's why when you saw a spark of hesitation in his eyes, you immediately took the opportunity and ran towards the motorcycle.

"Get back here!" he shouted, running after you. Joel started the motorcycle as if on cue. You grabbed the helmet he held out to you and quickly sat down behind him. Your fingers trembled as you try to buckled it.

"I wouldn't come any closer if I were you."

You shivered when you heard the voice you missed so much. You looked up at Joel who was just sending a warning look to your father. The tension between them sent shivers down your spine.

"You're disgusting," he hissed.

Joel snorted under his breath and smiled widely. With superiority.

"Nah, your daughter thinks I'm pretty good," he teased. Your breathing quickened when you finally managed to get the clasp off and you hugged him tightly around the waist. "See ya," he winked, amused at the state he left your father in.

Anger seethed in him and if he could, he would have started to boil. But you couldn't see it anymore because Joel, with a roar of his motor, drove away from your house. Your heart was pounding in your chest and you could barely catch your breath, let alone know what was going on around you. Your arms tightened around him as you pressed your cheek against his back.

Feeling him again after so many months was a completely different experience. It was better than getting high after rehab.

His scent was intoxicating. He smelled like a man you would trust with your life. His muscles felt like a place you never wanted to leave again.

He was like home.

"Hi, baby," he said tenderly, placing his hand on your thigh. You felt shivers when he started stroking your leg in that caring way. He laughed quietly feeling your body tremble.

Everything around you became quieter.

"I missed you."

"Yeah?" he asked teasingly.

"Mhm," you nodded hugging him tighter to which he tightened his hand on your thigh.

"I missed you too."

You smiled at his words which made warmth spread through you.

He missed you.

And suddenly everything in your head calmed down.

All unwanted thoughts and worries disappeared.

There was only the sound of the motorcycle, the wind whistling over your skin, his body against yours and the view of green fields.

You felt good again.

Safe.

"Do you have everything with you?" he asked, calmly leading the way. You nodded. "Just your backpack?"

"Yeah," you replied, swallowing hard. The change in tone didn't escape his notice. He removed his hand from your thigh and slowly ran it over your hand on his stomach.

"That's good. I have more room to maneuver with the gifts," he said with a smile, then took your hand and pulled it to his mouth, placing a gentle kiss on it. You shivered at the feeling of his lips and beard on your skin.

You didn't even realize how much you missed it. His words, as always, brought you comfort.

He always took care of you.

From the moment he decided to save you from the aggressive guy at the club. From the moment his worried eyes met your terrified gaze.

From the moment he offered to walk you home after that, you always felt safe with him.

It took so little to fall in love with him.

His gentle smile, warm gaze, and careful touch were enough.

"Want to show you somethin’, sweet girl."

Then there was only a loud growl, acceleration and a tighter grip on his body. The landscape slowly passed before your eyes as you drove fast through almost empty roads.

A feeling straight out of a movie.

That's how you felt all the time when he was around.

His gaze was always on you, making you hot and butterflies in your stomach. With him, you were the main character. Always. Even when you argued, all he wanted was for you to stop looking at him with pain in your eyes.

He treated you like his princess.

Only to treat you like a whore at night.

And he was the best at it.

Motor began to slow down so you lifted your cheek from his back to look around. You were on top of some mountain. The view of the forests and the city stretched in the distance. You had never been here before. You didn't even know this place existed even though you had lived here your whole life.

Joel stopped, turning off the engine and patted your thigh. You knew what to do so you deftly jumped off the seat.

There was silence all around, interrupted by the singing of birds. It was peaceful. Perfect.

You took off your helmet and hung it on the handlebars. A strong arm immediately wrapped around your hips, pulling you closer. You bumped into Joel's hard chest and gave him an innocent look that immediately made him start to harden in his jeans.

His gaze began to carefully examine every inch of your face, as if he was seeing you up close for the first time. But you hadn't changed even a little. The same shiny eyes, firm skin and delicious lips.

His fingers ran down your neck, sending shivers down your spine. A smirk bloomed on his lips as he felt you still react so intensely to his proximity.

You were so damn soft under his rough touch.

"Will you smile for me?" he asked, grabbing your chin. As if on cue, you couldn't help but smile. "That's my girl," he praised, returning your smile. "That's what I missed the most." His thumb slowly ran over your skin until it caught your lower lip. "And that," he added and without waiting, he leaned down, pressing his lips to yours. You closed your eyes immediately, melting in his arms.

The longed-for and deep kiss he gave you, easily made your knees tremble. You slowly embraced his neck, pulling him even closer, thirsty for his closeness.

His attention.

His tenderness.

A quiet sigh escaped your lips into his when he tightened his hand on your hip. His touch was domineering and his lips dominant. His desire for you didn't decrease even a little, it actually increased.

You felt a slap on your butt and his fingers digging hard into your skin. You moaned, thirsty for more.

More of his hands on your body.

More kisses on your warm skin.

More of him.

“I missed those sweet sounds of yours,” he whispered against your lips as he slowly pulled away with a blissful smile. You caught your breath licking your swollen lips, and your eyes began to sparkle again as you looked at him.

Unlike you, he had changed.

He had more wrinkles around his eyes. His hair was starting to lose its shine and his beard was turning grey.

He was aging before your eyes.

“You were supposed to go to war, not to a beauty salon,” you said biting your lip to hide your growing smile.

He snorted, looking away for a moment in amusement. This sound was enough to make your stomach clench pleasantly. His smile was the most beautiful sight you could have after so many months of emptiness.

“Are you teasing your old man? Naughty,” he smacked his lips disapprovingly and squeezed your butt harder before he let go of you.

You took a step back, letting him get off the bike. He straightened with a soft groan as his spine cracked.

“I guess it’s been a while since anyone gave you a massage,” you said teasingly as he slowly walked up to you and wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Unfortunately, where I was, there weren’t any masseuses as pretty as you,” he teased, wrinkling his nose as he leaned down to place a soft kiss on your lips.

A few soft kisses.

You giggled as he started kissing your cheek and neck, teasing you with his stubble.

“I have something for you,” he whispered, straightening up and reaching under the collar of his shirt.

A soft jingle caught your attention.

The sun reflected off the silver dog tag that hung between you.

“This was my last mission,” he announced, placing the necklace around your neck this time. “I’m yours now.”

Those words hit you like a bucket of cold water. You blinked a few times, looking at the dog tag. The embossed letters with his data gleamed in the sunlight like a promise. Such a little piece of metal that meant so much. So much to him and now, so much to you.

He belonged to you now.

Your heart almost fell out of your chest when he grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him again.

“Now I can take care of you properly.”

The gentleness and certainty with which he said it made you dizzy. And suddenly all those months of waiting turned out to be worth every minute.

Just so he can come back to you, giving yourself on an open hand.

“Will you accept me?”

Willyouacceptmewillyouacceptmewillyouacceptme.

It's the same as 'will you marry me'.

You stared at him expectantly, slowly starting to lose your breath. Did he really- No, he can’t. Or can he?

Joel saw the confusion in your eyes. You were only twenty, you had barely started living an adult life, and he was offering you something that was an obligation until the very end.

And maybe he was old, he didn't have as much strength and will to live as he once did, but he wanted you.

He wanted to take care of you.

He wanted you to be able to rely on him in everything.

So that you wouldn't be afraid to ask him to buy an extra pack of jelly beans or to kill a man for you.

He wanted to help you get through life, protecting you from anything that could hurt you.

“Say yes, my love,” he whispered, stroking your cheek.

Your silence began to drag on. But you didn’t think about the answer. You tried to understand what happiness had just reached you.

“Say yes and I will never let you worry about anything again.”

He needed to hear your consent even though he saw the answer on your face. That's why he wasn't afraid to wait when you were silent for a long time.

He leaned down and gently brushed his nose against yours. His hot breath mixed with yours and even such a small thing made you shiver.

"Say yes and be mine," he whispered, tilting his head so he could run his lips over yours.

Gently like the beating of a butterfly's wings.

Your eyelids began to droop from the feeling of warmth he began to surround you with.

"Y-"

And that was enough for his hand to tangle in your hair, holding you tightly as he pressed his lips painfully against yours.

You moaned, wincing as your teeth clashed and his tongue immediately entered your mouth. Only now could you feel the desire from longing for you.

He kissed hard but slowly, passionately.

He kissed so that you felt a tingling between your thighs.

The tingling quickly turned to excitement as he pulled closer your hips until you could feel his hard cock. You sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck as he gently rubbed himself against you with a soft groan.

After that, everything happened quickly. You had no idea how you ended up on the seat of a motorcycle, without any shorts or panties, while making out with him. But you don’t mind. As long as his hands gripped your body like that, you didn't care about anything.

He growled softly, his fingers gripping your thighs tighter. His thumbs were close to your little slice of heaven, sensually massaging your skin.

And you might have been wet before, but now you were leaking onto the seat.

Joel didn't care that he made a mess. He didn't care about the teeth marks he left on your skin as he went lower and lower. He didn't care about how his cock painfully dug into his jeans, wanting to get out.

He cared about how hard your nipples were standing before he even ran his warm tongue over them.

The animalistic groan that escaped your throat made his balls ache.

"Fuck baby, I haven't even started with you yet and my cock is about to fall off," he mumbled without stopping sucking on your nipple.

Another wave of arousal hit your clit, allowing more juices to flow out of your hole and between your ass cheeks. His teeth began to tease your already oversensitive nipple, making you whimper.

"Joel, please."

He loved hearing your pleas. How beautifully his name sounded on your lips when you were possessed by pleasure. And Joel never refused you. So after a moment he was kneeling in front of you, gripping your thighs, forcing you to spread your legs even wider for him.

“Oh, fuck me,” he groaned at the sight of your cunt. Wet, leaking and throbbing, just for him. “Daddy’s home.”

And he dove in, collecting with his tongue everything that leaked out of your hole with gusto. You moaned loudly watching as he greeted your pussy. Groans of pleasure left his throat every time another dose of your arousal appeared on his tongue.

Like a thirsty man, he dove his tongue into you and your loud moans mingled into one. All your blood began to flow to that one small point, which after a moment was between his lips.

He sucked on your clit with a purr and allowed himself to give it a moment of attention. He made slow circles with his tongue and your legs began to tremble.

"I'm gonna come," you warned him, panting heavily. He glanced up at you, not taking his mouth off you, and you could have sworn that this view should be immortalized in a museum. You could watch for hours as he knelt thirsty in front of you to eat you.

The grimace of pleasure on your face only made his balls boil. He ran his tongue along the length of your slit and sucked on your clit again. You whimpered as you felt your orgasm approaching.

You didn't even have to try, because a wave of pleasure hit you a moment later when he bit down on your nerve nub. Fucking nirvana you could feel again after a few months of separation.

You shuddered, pushing your hips into him as he rode you through your orgasm for as long as he could.

And only when he cleaned everything that had flowed out of you, he let you breathe. He stood up with a quiet groan and immediately reached for his belt.

"My balls are about to fall off because of you, princess," he joked with a quiet snort. You breathed heavily as you watched him unzip his fly and reach under his underwear.

With a sigh of relief, he pulled out his painfully hard cock, which quivered at the contact with the outside world. You swallowed hard as you saw another drop of precum flowing from his head. He pumped it slowly a few times and approached you, positioning himself perfectly between your legs.

He held his cock firmly at the base and with a hiss of satisfaction he slammed it perfectly into your clit a few times. You whimpered, clenching around nothing.

"Yeah, just like that."

He guided the tip down and ran it between your wet slit. His head was soft and warm so your body didn't resist as he slowly pushed a few inches into you. You began to breathe harder, watching as he slowly disappeared deeper and deeper into your pussy.

Joel moaned in satisfaction, feeling your hole accept him perfectly smoothly. As if she was just waiting for his cock to fill her up again.

“Oh god,” you gasped, already feeling full but you could see he had to go in a few more inches. You clenched on him in warning and he grabbed your hips tightly to hold you in place as he slowly pushed deeper into you.

“Good girls take everything their daddies give them,” he gasped, watching you helplessly look at the spot where you were connecting. “You’re a good girl, right?”

You squealed, pressing your lips together tightly and nodding your head eagerly. His cock made you not know if it was better to breathe or not. Joel smiled, pleased with your reaction and with one hard movement, he pushed himself all the way into you. You moaned like a wounded animal as your eyes rolled back and your head fell back.

“Fuck yeah,” he groaned in pleasure, feeling your pussy clench around him in welcome.

And then it started.

His hips slowly pulled back only to thrust hard into you. Joel was never gentle with sex. And you never thought you'd like it. But you did.

His fingers dug hard into your flesh as his hips began to painfully slam against yours. You were barely able to stay in your seat. The loud moans had already scared away the birds and his growls had scared away all other animals. He was pounding his rock hard cock into you, causing more and more juices to spill from your hole.

The wet sound echoed around every time he thrust into you. And he didn't care that you couldn't catch your breath. He didn't care that you had nothing left to scream for. You just existed. Taking everything he gave you. Like a regular fuck doll.

"Fuckin’ take it," he growled.

You slowly started to choke but that only intensified the pleasure that accompanied his cock as he drove it into you all the way. He watched you struggle with the overwhelming feeling of bliss that he gave you. He loved seeing you like this.

His cock literally took your breath away.

But then his thumb appeared on your clit and you automatically gasped for air. You tensed up, moaning throatily until your knees trembled under him. Your pussy immediately became tighter, making his balls shiver.

His thumb made quick circles around your clit and you couldn't fight the feeling that appeared in your legs. You were helpless.

"Yesyesyesyesyesyes," you started to repeat on the edge of your endurance. Your body was fighting the approaching orgasm, making the blood start to boil throughout your body.

His finger disappeared and in return, you felt his hand grab your hair tightly. You weren't even able to hiss in pain when he pulled you to him. You looked at animal instinct in his eyes, feeling how he intensified his thrusts.

"Father didn't want you?" he asked, panting heavily. You clenched your jaw tighter as he jerked you harder. A devilish smile appeared on his lips. "Don't worry, baby. Now I will take care of you."

"Yes," you hissed, fighting the feeling that was slowly overpowering you.

"Yes what?" he growled, tugging harder at your hair. He leaned down, running his tongue over your neck to finally plant a gentle kiss.

“Yes, sir,” you repeated. He smiled against your skin

“Good girl,” he praised you, pleased and bit into the spot right after your ear. And then you were gone.

You moaned like a real slut, coming on his cock. Your legs began to tremble as he continued to fuck you mercilessly.

A wave of orgasm flooded your body, cutting off your access to oxygen, and another wave, flooded his cock. Your juices began to drip down his balls as with a groan, he continued to suck on your skin, marking you.

Moans, sighs and squeals mixed into one as your pussy pulsed around him. And that brought him to the end. He bit painfully into your neck and holding you tightly, thrust into you several times. Hard and deep, filling you with all of his seed.

His throaty groan sent vibrations through your body as he finally stopped. You panted heavily, still pulsating until his cum started to flow out of you too.

"Fuck, I missed you," he groaned pulling away from you so he could look at your face. Tiredness mixed with bliss. But it was your sparkling eyes that said it all.

You smiled lazily as he rested his wet forehead against yours, allowing both of you to calm your racing hearts.

"I would possess you in every way possible and I would never get enough of that sweet pussy of yours."

You snorted helplessly at which a smile blossomed on his lips. And then he just kissed you. Tenderly and slowly. Finally able to enjoy your closeness

[appleblueberry-pie]

Yandere House"wife" Satoru x Reader

Call it a happy accident, the way Satoru transitioned from being a full-time sorcerer to being the man you come home to after he does domestic chores all day. You two talked about it for a little while. There was a time when Satoru would come home late at night almost every day. And he would wind down, take a shower, crawl into the bed into your arms and just pour out his heart to you. He would say he hates his job. He hates how repetitive these days were becoming. Meetings upon meetings in the morning, and then having to exercise curses that never stood a chance for the next 6 hours. You soothed him, of course. Or at least as much as you could.

Then you proposed that maybe he starts taking days off. So you'll go to work and he'll stay home to heal his mind as much as he needs to. He would do anything for you, so of course he tries it out just to make you happy. And a few rest days turned into a few weeks. A few weeks turned into a couple of months. You don't remember the last time Satoru went to work by now, his phone blowing up every day from the people and job he kind of abandoned. He didn't care anymore.

He realized that he was happiest doing these mundane and very human tasks every day. And his motivation to keep going was just you. If he was bored, he would do the laundry that was full. I mean, the washer and dryer was just down the hall, why not? Washed the few dishes in the sink. Maybe he'll stop by the store to restock the fridge. You recognized how much of a....housewife he was being when he would retell his daily tasks to you before you two went to bed. "Oh, so I've got a little housewife now?" The neurons in his brain crackled when he heard that word escape your mouth.

Housewife

You raised your eyebrow when you watched him whisper the word underneath his breath. "You alright?" No, he wasn't. Well, he felt fantastic at the thought of his only purpose being his favorite person's provider and nothing else. But other than that, not really. He shamelessly enjoys having that title over his head. So he decides to play the part.

In the morning, he'll wake up before you, stare at your beautiful face for around 10 minutes before getting up to prepare your lunch and make you breakfast. NO, he can't cook. But he does know how to follow instructions. You wrote him some recipes you loved and he takes extra care to follow every single step to the exact measurements that you want. And when you smile at the breakfast, or make that sigh of relief, his heart jumps. Want more coffee? Do you want tea instead? He could pour you a flask of hot coffee before you go. And don't forget your lunch, either. He had fun making the panda shaped molds of rice.

And when you give your kiss goodbye and he finishes begging you to stay for a mandatory 5 minutes, he begins cleaning up the kitchen. He washes the dishes and clears the laundry if there's any. Mops the bathroom and cleans the tub, toilet bowl, and sink until they're sparkly and clean. Vacuums carpets and turns on a humidifier with your favorite scent lightly wafting throughout the place. Though he usually does this 20 minutes before you come back home so the smell is fresh in your brain when you walk in the door. He checks off the grocery list, visits a few people from his hitlist that he knows either hooked up with you in the past, broke up with you, or just tried to fuck with you in general. Sold a few organs from said people from the hitlist's bodies and goes back home to clean himself up and relax.

Relax meaning checking your location every five minutes, doing a mandatory 10 minute phone call on your lunch break to either try and persuade you to skip the rest of the work day to come back home, have phone sex(you talk him through his orgasm), or just let you talk and he'll listen. After the phone call, he'll eat his first meal of the day. He knows you don't like when he doesn't take care of himself, so he eats as much as his big heart desires. Which usually consists of your scraps of breakfast and dinner that you don't finish, so it feels like you two are bonding over the same meal(even though you aren't there). He does like eating with you and next to you, but it just feels more intimate when you two eat from the same plate. By the end of his meal, he's usually rock hard and close to tears at the fact that you won't be here to help him get off again for the next few hours.

So, he takes a cold shower(or two, if it's serious(and when I say "two" I mean he hops in, finishes, and then has to go back because it rises again with a vengeance)). And after his cold shower, he goes to the gym and does his weight resistance training. He knows you love every part of his body and his beautifully sculpted muscles(your words), so he takes good care of them. Then if he has free time, he'll watch some tv, pop up at Jujutsu Tech to piss everyone off for a few minutes, buy some sweets and desserts you two can share and then go back home to take a nap.

He wakes up about 30 minutes before you come back home so he can cook dinner. You told him you wouldn't mind having something "simple" tonight. And if he thinks carefully, this could mean anything from a boiled stew to TV dinner. Based off of your tone and how you said this sentence, he'll assume you wouldn't want something crazy to eat, so he actually buys some deli sandwiches from a shop not too far away. And when you got home, had Satoru take your coat, shoes, and jacket, you told him you were actually excited to eat. "It's been a while since we went there, huh? Oh, it's still warm!" The bread was toasted the way you liked and everything in between.

You were so lucky to have this man take care of you. You told him you loved him and if there was anything he wanted in return for his hard efforts to keep you happy, you'd do it. He shyly shook his head, a small blush overcoming his soft cheeks. He finished eating his sandwich before you and you noticed how silent he went. You softly grabbed his hand and he immediately looked up at you in question. "You alright? You're being quiet." You raise your hand from his hand to wipe a bread crumb from the corner of his mouth. "Yeah......actually, no. I just miss being able to grab your ass every second of the day, because your job doesn't allow your boyfriend into the building."

"Satoru, you know I can't take work off, I have to take care of us." Satoru flails and grabs your hand. "But babe, you know I have enough money to buy us 16 houses! You don't need to work!" You roll your eyes. "Well, I don't want to be in the house all day rotting away."

"We can rot together." "No!" He's a romantic at heart. He stands to walk off at your rejection and you grab his hand to pull him back. "Baby, you know I didn't mean it like that." "But.....you said we can't rot together...." "I know, but we can just be here right now and enjoy each other. We have all night and even some time in the morning. Right?" He sighs at your words and nod. ".........why are you hard?"

"Because you noticed I was quiet." You roll your eyes. He was also an attention seeker. How could you forget. "Really?" He nods. This time, you sigh, and you walk over to the living room couch, patting your lap. Satoru happily bounces over and plops down his weight on you. "Oof!" Sitting sideways on your lap, you caress his back with one hand and palm his hard on through his jeans with the other. His body immediately relaxes underneath your touch, and you smile up at him. "My baby has been working so hard today, hm?" He nods and stares at your hand. "I'm glad you're being productive. What did you do today, Satoru?"

"Today, I cleaned up the kitchen and did the laundry.." You unbutton his pants when he starts talking. But before you pull them down, you pause. "And what else?" He realizes what you're trying to do and swallows stressfully. He just wants you to take care of him. "And I mopped in the kitchen and the bathroom. I vacuumed, too." You pull his pants down enough to pull out his rock hard cock. It was warm and heavy in your hand, the tip straining with the blood swollen up to it. It was red and glistening with pre, threatening to drip down.

You gently wrapped your hand around him, slowly jerking him up and down, and a whimper slips out his lips. "Come on, baby, keep talking." He grabs your arm that's holding his cock and grabs at the couch with his other. "Um...I also........that's it." He cuts himself off, and his eyelids flutter shut when you put a little more pressure onto your hold, your thumb swiping over his tip.

"Hm? Are you sure?" You know he cut himself off. Which only means he's hiding something from you. He nods his head in response, and you let go of him. He whines at the cold that surrounds him now and looks at you. "Whyy???" "I don't know, baby, I think you're lying to me." You give him a look of fake concern, and your hand instead travels south to very gently fondle his sack, which immediately gets him to squirm.

"I'm not!!" You scrunch your eyebrows. "Are you??" He goes silent, and you stare him deep into his eyes. He can't reciprocate the eye contact and stares at your hand. You stop touching him, and he looks back up at you with sad, glistening puppy eyes. "I went through the list." Your eyebrows shoot up before you start scolding him. "The list??? I thought I told you to get rid of that thing? Satoru." When you first moved in with one another, you found his hit list full of people you used to talk to. He planned to kill them off one by one to have you to himself. You never truly got mad at him for it, because most of those people on the list genuinely were big pieces of shits that you wanted to burn in hell.....but technically it still wasn't okay for him to just do that behind your back.

"No, please! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just-" you lightly push him off of your lap, which was basically his equivalent of being shoved off of a cliff and his heart drops when you stand up. "NO! No. Wait, baby, please. Let me make it up to you. Please don't leave me like this." He trips onto his knees but still makes record speed in crawling over to you. He grabs your closest leg and hugs it tightly. You could feel his cock(which was still out) rub against your pant leg. So dramatic, you think.

You look down at him, and he stares up at you with those stupid big blue eyes. "......" He takes your silence as his que to convince you. "I can make it better, look!" He shifts in front of you, still on his knees, and begins to unbutton and pull your pants down. You lose balance and stumble back into the dining table behind you, using it for balance as Satoru yanks down down your pants, his eyes staring at the goal.

"Satoru, what the hell are you doing?" Funny enough, your words contradict your actions, and you instinctually spread your legs farther apart for him to have more space in between. He grabs your legs and places them on top of his shoulders, and you scoot back onto the dining table for more comfort, cups and silverware clinking as you clumsily push them back.

"I can help like this." He pushes his tongue as far as he can past your lips, getting a strong first taste at your pussy. A firm and slow stripe from your hole up to your clit and you hiss, gripping onto the table. Satoru moans loudly and closes his eyes to enjoy himself as much as possible. He shifts impossibly closer to you, hugging your thighs to both sides of his face to be buried deep and makes out with your sensitive bud. You could feel him occasionally exhale his warm breath onto you before firmly flicking his tongue onto you again.

You begin whining at the waves of pleasure crashing down on you. Drool and your essence cover Satoru's chin. His cock twitches endlessly against the hardwood floor, more of his pre dripping onto it the more he gets you to moan. "Get up." His eyes snap open, and he pulls away to look up at you. Your fingers dig into his scalp, and you pull him up, earning a wince from him. He knows what you want and leans in to let you taste yourself on his tongue. In the middle of the kiss, he suddenly flinches at the feeling of your hand once again grabbing his cock. You separate the kiss and his gaze trails down to your pussy.

You took his cock head and pressed it in between your lips, rubbing it up and down against your entrance. Your eyes seemed to glisten in a way he hadn't seen in a long time and you maintained eye contact, whispering to him. "You gonna be a good boy and fuck me how I taught you?" Each word that slipped out of your lips was enough to make him insane, and he was ready to do whatever you commanded. He robotically nods and you laugh at his reaction.

You press a soft kiss to his chin, letting him spread your legs on top of the table. He softly spreads your lips and makes eye contact with your hole. Heat radiates from you and he soaks up every last bit of it. All he can see, think of, and hear is you. "Beautiful." He whispers underneath his breath. You caress his arm to snap him out of his mind and he leans down closer to you, his head now pressing to your entrance gently. "Please show me." And he takes it upon himself to shower you with the affection you deserve in hopes to satisfy you again.

Did I cook????? Cuz I feel like I wrote this way too fast.

[fushigowo]

𝐒𝐇𝐘 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐄𝐒𝐓 | 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

╰┈➤ gojo satoru x fem!reader

╰┈➤ synopsis: in your LIT 2000, your classmate, gojo satoru, has his eyes set on the shyest student after telling his theory to getou suguru that the shyest ones are always the horniest. to prove his theory right, satoru finds ways to know whether he’s correct and he’s absolutely sure that he is.

╰┈➤ warnings: fingering, cunnilingus, oral sex, teasing, praise, degradation? soft to rough sex, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, dumbification, doggy style, cowgirl, name-calling, size kink, spanking, begging, pleasure dom satoru!! (reader and satoru are in their early 20s)

╰┈➤ a/n: this was supposed to be posted on christmas but i didn’t finish it on time :(( but i hope u all had a gentle holiday!! as a gift, i wrote whatever this is and i got inspiration from this soundgasm audio which is HOT AF!!! also, i did not proofread this. im lazy as fuck

PART I | PART II

Gojo Satoru has his pretty cerulean eyes set on someone, and that someone is none other than you.

You sit at the very front of the classroom, three rows in front of Satoru’s where he can get a clear view of you every time he stares. Not only you’re the smartest and the teacher’s pet, Satoru considers you as the most mysterious student in LIT 2000 despite being with 30 more students because of how quiet you are.

Satoru’s been observing you since the start of the year and the thing that he noticed the most was that you rarely and he means rarely talk to anyone or even participate in class. Whenever you’re called by the professor, you would mumble some I don’t knows and I’m sorrys because you can’t answer the question that was given to you. However, Satoru knew for a fact that you’re just saying those things so you won’t get to speak longer than that. He knew very well that you know the answer to every damn question.

Which is why he is so lucky to have you as a partner for a midterm essay.

As for you, you don’t know what to feel when professor called your name after Gojo Satoru’s.

You don’t really have a problem writing a five-page or more essay with a minimum of three thousand words. The problem is… Gojo Satoru is your partner. It’s not like you don’t like him. It’s just that...

Holy fucking shit. Did she figure out that I have a huge crush on Satoru?! Is that why she paired me up with him? But I made sure not to make it obvious! No, no. This won’t do.

So after class was over, you had a talk with your professor, begging for her to take the midterm essay on your own. The talk didn’t go well as planned.

Since Satoru is having a hard time catching up with LIT 2000, your professor told you to help him by partnering up in this midterm essay. However, that didn’t sit right with you so you protested, saying that there’s a chance that Satoru wouldn’t help writing the paper which would result into you writing the entire thing yourself. But that was just an excuse not to work with Satoru, otherwise you would get all flustered and nervous throughout the week while working on this midterm essay.

“It is not different from doing the entire essay myself,” you scoff.

“I know, but that is also why I partnered him with you,” she says, making you raise an eyebrow. “You can let me know if Satoru didn’t help with anything at all, which is easier for me to fail him.”

“You’re gonna fail him?” you ask.

“Yes. As you can see, Satoru hasn’t been performing well in my class,” she says, “but I figured you can help him since you’re my top performing student. Can I count on you?”

“There are other top performing students in your class though,” you mumble. Sighing in defeat, you agreed to partner up with Satoru. “Professor, did you know that I have a crush on Satoru? Is that another reason why you paired me with him?”

Silence. She knows.

“I genuinely did not know that until now.”

Crap. She doesn’t know. And I told her?! Holy—

“ForgetIsaidanythingprofessorthankyouforyourtimegoodbye.”

With that, you immediately rushed out of her office and slammed the door shut.

The only reason why you wanted to do this midterm essay on your own is because you won't have to deal with Satoru’s presence. Oh, his presence alone would make you so nervous that your smartass brain won’t even function and you would get all flustered, which is really bad because this might hinder your focus on working on the essay. Not only that, but Gojo Satoru does not take things seriously. A complete opposite of you since you take everything related to academics very seriously. But you realized that it won’t hurt to give a little help for Satoru to not fail LIT 2000.

Meanwhile, Gojo Satoru wanders around the halls of the building, in hopes of searching for you so the two of you can start working on the essay. But before that, he had a talk with his best friend, Getou Suguru.

“Yo, Satoru,” Suguru approached the white-haired man with one hand raised up. “I heard your partner for this midterm is that girl. Won’t this be the perfect time to test that theory of yours?”

“Yeah, well, I’m not trying to get into her pants,” Satoru says and a smirk grew on his glossy lips, ”not unless she wants me to.”

After your talk with your literature professor, you had to compose yourself in the rest room and even practiced a script on how you’re going to talk to Satoru. However, you had a realization that this isn’t going to be the only time that you’ll interact with Gojo Satoru since your professor knows that you have a thing for him. You scold yourself for being so nervous around him, despite being a grown ass woman.

But Satoru is… just so pretty. I can’t even look at him straight in the eyes. Also because I’ve touched myself to the thought of him so that would be awkward as fuck.

When you finally got out of the restroom, you heard a loud voice from behind and the minute you heard that voice, you already knew that it would be him. Looking over your shoulder, Satoru in his white long sleeves, black pants, messy yet gorgeous white hair and those round sunglasses. The tall man approached you with a smile on his face while you try not to melt down the ground that you’re standing on.

“I was looking for you,” Satoru says. “I thought we could start working on the essay so we can finish it ahead of the deadline.”

“You—uh, you want to start working now?” you ask, but a hint of nervousness in your voice.

“Yep!” Satoru gives you a smile and a thumbs up, and suddenly, he leans down on your face and brings his lips closer to your ear, making you shiver. “Just between you and me, I think professor is failing me this semester.”

Your eyes widen when he mentioned that.

Could it be that he heard your conversation with your professor earlier? Did he also hear the part where you told her that you have a crush on Satoru? That would make him think that you’re a complete loser in your 20s and in college yet you act like a teenager with a crush. But it’s not your fault that you’ve rejected so many guys because they’re not your standards and it’s definitely not your fault that you reject them because they’re not Satoru.

“Why would you think that?” you ask.

“Mmm? Because I haven’t been performing well in her class.” he grinned.

So he knows.

“Uh, let’s start then,” you say before walking pass him until he asked where you’re going. You look over your shoulder and said, “the library. It’s where I usually do my tasks if not in my apartment.”

“The library is too… quiet. So we’ll work in your apartment instead!”

It’s a library so it would be quiet. And did he just decide that on his own? God, he’s so stupid, I love him.

Your apartment is not far from your university. The reason why you had an apartment for yourself is because you don’t want another person taking up space and you most definitely don’t want to live with another person that you barely even know. And you’re not bothered that you’re living off-campus. It just makes it easier for you to live independently.

When the two of you got in your apartment, Satoru’s cerulean eyes scanned and observed the place. It was neat and everything is organized. But the thing that caught his attention is the stack of books next to the balcony of your apartment. Four stack of books that almost reach Satoru’s waist and he’s a tall guy. He knew that you read a lot since every time he takes glances at you in class, you’re either reading or writing something so he knows that you like reading, but he didn’t expect you to like it that much.

“Sorry, it’s a mess here,” you mumble. “Let’s get started.” You sit down on the wooden floor as you place your laptop on the coffee table adjacent to Satoru who is now sitting on the couch.

“I forgot my laptop.”

You blinked. Twice.

“Sit next to me.” he mumbled.

And that’s what you did despite being flustered at the thought that it’s only you and Satoru inside your apartment. The thought has you squeezing your legs together as you try to listen to Satoru about his ideas regarding the midterm essay. However, your thoughts were making your mind foggy and you couldn’t think straight. It’s awkward that on this very couch, you’ve touched yourself to the thought of Satoru and now, he’s sitting right next to you.

“Hey,” Satoru calls out. “You okay?”

“Mmm, yeah…” you mumble. “Since, uh, since professor asked us to analyze a chosen text from the 20th century regarding its social context, let’s choose a piece first to write about first. Do you have anything in mind?” you ask, trying your best to not make eye contact with him now that he doesn’t have his round sunglasses on.

“I have a few,” he says. “How about The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath? Or No Longer Human by Dazai Osamu? Ah! I know. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck.”

“Am I the only one who didn’t cry my eyes out at the end?” you ask.

“What? You did not cry your eyes out at the end?! Are you even human?” Satory’s eyes widen, looking at you with shock while your eyes are locked on your laptop as you type. “I had snot coming out of my nose that soaked the pages of my book when I read that.”

“First of all, that’s disgusting. Second, it was sad, I admit, but I didn’t shed a tear. It was really good though so kudos to you, Mr. Steinbeck.” you chuckle. “Third, I gave it a five stars so you don’t have to attack me.”

Satoru laughs, making you flustered all over again. This is the first time you’ve heard him laugh this close and he’s laughing because of you, and you like it of course. You like that he’s comfortable around you and you like that he’s still himself despite you being awkward around his presence.

“You know, you’re actually fun to be with,” he says. Satoru’s legs are crossed while his elbow is resting on the arm rest and his cheek is on top of his closed palm as he stares at you with his pretty cerulean eyes. “But why can’t you look at me in the eyes?”

You gulped, squeezing your legs together since you can feel him staring daggers at you. Satoru seems to notice your action and a smirk formed on his glossy lips. Satoru moves closer to you, almost like you can feel his hot breath touching the sensitive part of your neck, making you shiver.

“Are you scared of me?” he asks and the only answer you could give him is by shaking your head, telling him that it’s a no. “Hmm? Then why can’t you look at me?”

You didn’t answer.

“Look at me,” he demand.

This time, you feel Satoru’s fingers making its way down your chin, making you face him and look up at him but despite his actions of forcing you to stare into his pretty cerulean eyes, you didn’t protest at all… because you like every single move he’s making on you. Satoru’s other hand glides down your arm, feeling your soft skin that made you shiver because of his warm touch.

When your eyes met his, you couldn’t help but melt on your seat. And it’s not just because Satoru is staring at you.

“There you go,” he chuckles. “That wasn’t so hard, was it? Now tell me, sweetheart, why are so flustered around me?”

You couldn’t form the words. Of course you can’t. How could you even continue to talk when Gojo motherfucking Satoru is so close to you that his hot breath is almost touching your skin and his hands are caressing your arms and chin, leaving you no choice but stare into his eyes. Not to mention the smirk that he has on his glossy lips.

“T-that’s because I… I—fuck.” you curse under your breath, trying hard to compose yourself and break eye contact.

“Do I make you nervous? Is that why you’re squirming and squeezing your leg so much?” he chuckles.

You bit your lips—hard—trying to wake yourself up and check if you’re having another wet dream about Satoru again. Fortunately, you are fully awake and the person right in front of you is the real Gojo Satoru. Not your fantasy, not your dream, but real. It was hard you to believe that something that you wanted for so long finally came true and you most definitely won’t let this moment go.

“S-Satoru…” you whisper, almost inaudible.

“Yes, sweetheart?” he asks with a smile on his face. “Is there something you want? Or need?”

He knows what he’s doing. He definitely knows what he’s doing.

“Touch me…” you mumble under your breath. “Just—touch me, please.”

With that, Satoru chuckles before leaning in towards your ears. His hands trailing down, from your chin down to your neck and wraps his slender fingers around the base, but not too tight. Just enough to make you squirm and squeeze your legs even more.

“If the shy girl wants it then who am I to refuse?” he whispers, his hot breath touching your skin that caused the hairs of your body to stand up.

Suddenly, you feel a wet yet hot sensation make contact with your ears, making its way down your jaw while Satoru’s hand tilt your head to the sides to give him more access of licking and kissing your jaw and neck. Your back touched the arm rest behind you as Satoru slowly pushed you down. He held both your thighs, positioning them to open so he can stay in between them as he kisses your neck down your collarbone, leaving bites and marks.

As Satoru devours your neck and collarbone, his hand expertly unbuttons your shirt while the other caresses your thighs, his fingers making circle patterns on your skin. When your buttons are finally undone, Satoru opens your shirt so he can clearly see your body underneath him. He pulls away from you so he can properly enjoy the view then pulls his shirt over his head.

Your half-lidded eyes earlier suddenly widen when you saw the perfect view of Satoru’s body. A body that was almost carved by the gods themselves and that wasn’t even the main attraction that caught your attention. It was the veins running down his crotch and that fucking v-line.

“You like the view from down there, slut?” he chuckles but then he noticed how you whined and squirmed underneath him when he called you slut. “Oh? Did you like being called that?”

You nod. But Satoru doesn’t take that as an answer so his hand made its way down to your neck again but he wasn’t squeezing it too hard.

“Yes,” you say. “I like it, Satoru. Like it when you—ngh—when you call me a slut.”

“Good. Because that’s what you are,” he mumbles as he leans down to your chest, leaving marks and kisses. “Such a shy little slut for me.”

But the white-haired man scoffs because your bra is in the way. He didn’t bother taking it off by clasping it. He just pulled it down to expose your nipples and didn’t waste any time to lick and suck your sensitive bud, making you arch your back. Satoru’s fingers pinch your other nipple while his knee keeps on pushing and adding pressure on your sensitive pussy, still covered with your now-soaked panties.

Satoru continues to feast on you body while you squirm and moan underneath him. When he was finally done with your tits, Satoru’s kisses went even further down until he reached your skirt. Being the impatient asshole he is, he didn’t bother taking them off and just lifts it up, exposing your panties that has a wet area because of your arousal.

A smirk grew on the white-haired man’s lips and didn’t hesitate to touch the wet area using his index and middle finger. He pushes his fingers on your sensitive bud with enough pressure to have you arching your back. Satoru might be an impatient man but of course he would take your panties off to have better access on your soaking pussy.

Realizing that your cunt is now exposed of Gojo motherfucking Satoru, your hand instinctively covered your pussy as if he did not just suck your tits earlier. But seeing your pussy is different. Of course you’d be shy and flustered. He’s Gojo Satoru, for god’s sake. He’s seen more pussy other than yours.

“Don’t get all shy on me now,” he mumbles. “Take your hands off or I’ll tie them together.”

With that, you slowly took away your hand, letting him see your soaked pussy.

“Don’t hide yourself from me,” he smiles. “You’re fucking gorgeous.”

Satoru leans down so he can easily make contact with your cunt. His fingers rub your slit, soaking it with your juices and you couldn’t help but arch your back. A smile grows on his face and suddenly, you can feel him insert a finger inside your cunt, making you whine. His thumb draws circles around your clit that made your thighs quiver until you feel another finger being inserted inside you.

Satoru plunges his fingers in and out of you yet in a slow and sensual pace. He can feel your walls clenching around his fingers as he inserts his digits back. A smirk forms on his glossy lips and plunges his fingers even deeper, deeper than you could reach yourself.

You’ve fingered yourself before but—god, this was so different than what you would usually feel. Is it because his fingers are thicker and longer than yours? Or is it because he’s so fucking good at it?

“Ah! Satoru!” you whine. “R-right there! Right there, please!”

The squelching noise that your pussy and Satoru’s fingers are creating together as well as your wanton moans filled the air of your apartment. You didn’t care how loud you were. You didn’t care if the walls are thin and you didn’t care if your neighbors hear you. You didn’t care about anything else, you just want Satoru to make you cum with his fingers.

Satoru’s pace becomes even more faster, but he figured that it wasn’t enough. Of course it’s not enough. He wasn’t satisfied with just using his fingers.

So he leans down and lolled his tongue out, not even hesitating to lick your sensitive clit, making you jolt and arch your back when you suddenly feel his tongue circling around your clit while his fingers plunge in and out of you. Your legs start to quiver and squirm. The sensation was too much for you that you couldn’t help but close your legs. But Satoru wasn’t done so he grips your legs apart and held the back of your thighs to keep you in place.

This time, Satoru pulls his fingers out and held your thighs in place but his tongue is doing all the work now, licking and sucking your poor overstimulated pussy. Your eyes suddenly widen and your back arched when you feel Satoru insert his tongue inside you, plunging it deeper that his nose is touching your clit.

“Oh, fuck! Satoru! It’s—ngh—too much! I can’t—!”

Your whines and moans continue but Satoru was too busy eating you. But he suddenly pulls away to look at your view. You look so fucked and he didn’t even used his cock yet.

“For someone who’s shy and quiet, you’re being awfully loud for me, sweetheart.” he chuckles before devouring your cunt again.

Satoru can already feel that you’re close. He knows you’re close so he used his thumb to rub circles on your clit and that’s when you completely lost it.

Your legs quiver on Satoru’s grip when you feel your orgasm rip through you. The sensation that Satoru made you feel had you seeing stars, something that you never felt before whenever you touch yourself and this might’ve been the first time that you came this intense. And it felt so fucking good.

Seeing your fucked out state, Satoru chuckles as he watches you catch your breath after that intense orgasm.

“You still with me?” he asks. “I haven’t even used my cock yet!”

“Then use it. Fuck me, Satoru… I want your cock inside me, please.”

“Kiss me first. Come up here and kiss me.” he smiles.

You didn’t hesitate to sit back up and reach for Satoru’s face. Your hand made their way to his cheek while the other caresses his soft white hair. He returns the kiss and inserts his tongue inside your mouth, writhing and swirling against yours. This time, Satoru settles himself next to the arm rest, laying down on the couch while his head rests on the arm rest. Now, you’re on top of him, kissing his glossy lips and grinding your aching pussy on the bulge of his pants.

“Why don’t you do the honors and take my cock out?” Satoru smirks in between your kisses.

And who were you to deny that?

So you unzip Satoru’s pants, bringing it down to reveal the bulge inside his boxers. His cock sprung free when you slid down his boxers, slapping against his lower abdomen. Its size and girth has you gulping because you haven’t seen a cock that big. Sure, you’ve fucked yourself using your dildos but none of your toys compare to Satoru’s cock. A prominent vein runs along the underside of the base of his cock, its pinkish head is releasing pre-cum that drips down to the base.

You didn’t have any idea what you were doing when you had the urge to suck Satoru’s cock. But the white-haired man didn’t have any protests, of course. In fact, his hand is guiding your head to suck on his pulsating cock. After realizing that you didn’t need any guidance, Satoru lets you do your thing.

You let your tongue swirl around the base of his cock and despite it being deep inside your throat, you’re barely even gagging as you take him deeper that your nose is touching his nicely trimmed hair. You continue to suck and lick Satoru’s cock, making him release pretty moans and groans and curses under his breath.

When he felt himself getting close, Satoru couldn’t help but grip your hair and guide your head even though you’re sucking him so well. He just needed something to hold on to and your hair was perfect.

“Ah, fuck! I’m gonna cum. Shit!” he moans until he feels himself release inside your throat. Satoru lets you pull away. Your saliva and some of his cum is leaking down your chin, making him wipe it using his thumb.

“Holy shit. That was so good,” he chuckles. “You sure it’s your first time sucking cock?”

“Uh, well, I-I had some practice,” you say, “with my… toys.”

“Who knew you were such a horny slut?” Satoru didn’t let you answer when he told you to—

“Sit on my cock,” he says. “Sit on my cock and ride me like what you do to your toys. I bet they won’t even compare to mine, huh?”

You gulp before climbing on top of him again. Satoru uses his hand to snake down his head as a pillow while his other hand holds your hips. Positioning yourself on top of him, your hand holds the base of his cock while the other is clinging on the head rest of the couch to support yourself.

You lower yourself down on Satoru’s cock and you couldn’t help but whimper and bite your lips when the tip of his cock finally went inside you. His cock is far more thicker than any of your toys that it has your legs quivering and shaking yet you still continued to lower yourself, taking all of him inside you.

When you stopped, Satoru looks up at you.

“Why’d you stop? You’re not even half way there.”

“What?” you whimper. “Is it t-that big?”

“Yes, sweetheart,” he chuckles. “It’s that big.”

Without answering, you continue to lower yourself. Satoru is staring at how your pussy is taking him all in and how you’re struggling to. You’ve done this numerous times on your toys before but riding a real cock—his cock—is far different from that feeling, mainly because Satoru is big.

“It’s so—ah—so deep, Satoru. I don’t think I can—can’t take more.” you whimper.

“But it’s all inside you now,” he smiles. “Ah, fuck. You feel so good.”

To ease the feeling, Satoru lets you cockwarm him while his thumb rub circles on your sensitive clit. When you finally feel at ease and ready to ride him, Satoru places his hand on your hips to keep you in place as you bounce up and down on his cock.

The squelching noises every time his balls meets your skin fills the air of your apartment once again, accompanied by your loud moans and Satoru’s groans.

You can feel the tip of Satoru’s cock hitting the sweet spot of yours that has you clenching around him and every time you look down at the lewd sight below you, you can see a bulge forming on your lower stomach whenever you sink yourself down on Satoru’s cock. Although you seem to be fine riding him and taking all of his cock, you couldn’t look at him straight in the eyes and you even use your hand to cover the lower half of your face since his cerulean eyes are staring right at you.

“Don’t get all shy on me now, slut. You’re riding my cock and yet you still have the nerve to be shy? C’mon, don’t hide yourself,” Satoru grins when he grips both of your hips and lowers you down.

“Ah! Satoru! What are you—ah!”

You couldn’t seem to think straight when he took the initiative to guide you on his cock in a fast and rough pace. Every time he sinks your body down his cock, his hips would thrust up and meet your movement, making the lewd noises even more louder and harder than before.

“Ngh! Fuck, ‘Toru! It’s so deep! So good!”

“Yeah? It’s better than riding those plastic cocks you own, huh?” he chuckles, followed by a moan. “God, you feel so fucking good. Fuck, fuck, fuck!”

“‘m gonna—gonna cum, Satoru! ‘m so close! So close!”

“Do it. Cum on my cock.”

With that, your orgasm rip through you once more. Your legs quiver on top of Satoru and your chest making rapid up and down motions, letting you catch your breath while you half-lidded eyes try to open despite being fucked out after releasing another intense orgasm, but this time, on Satoru’s cock.

When you decided to get off Satoru’s still hard cock, he tells you to—

“Bend over the couch.”

And who were you to disobey?

Satoru positions your upper body to bend over the arm rest of the couch, placing a hand wrapped around the back of your neck. Wasting no time, Satoru plunges his cock inside of you again, making you let out a muffled whine.

This time, Satoru didn’t let you relax on his cock and continues to pump inside you in a fast pace. His hands grip your hips as he thrusts in and out of you. His gaze his on the lewd sight of your pussy taking him all in, observing the white ring around his cock.

Who knew he’d be fucking the smartest and shyest girl in his literature class? Who fucking knew that that shy and quiet girl is secretly a horny slut who is begging for him to fuck her harder until she can’t think?

“Oh, fuck! Satoru! Yesyesyes! Fuck me harder, please!”

“Easy.” he mumbles before fucking into you so deep that it reaches your cervix, making you grip the sheets of the couch and whine so loud that you’re sure that everyone in your apartment building heard how you’re being fucked so good.

As Satoru keeps his rough and fast pace consistent, you couldn’t seem to let out coherent words anymore and your eyes are now teary from the pleasure that Satoru is giving you. Your toes are curling and your hands are gripping the sheets as you feel yourself releasing another intense orgasm out of you.

“Fuck, ‘m gonna cum—gonna cum! ‘m close, Toru! Satoru! Fuck!”

“Yeah, cum on my cock again! Oh, god. Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck!

Satoru quickly pulls out of you before he can release. His hand pumps his cock, releasing his cum on your back while your thighs are now soaked with your juices that drips down your legs. The two of you catch your breath but Satoru pulls you in to kiss you.

“You just proved me right, sweetheart,” he mumbles in between your kisses. “Now let’s work on that essay, yeah?” he pulls away and smiles, as if he didn’t just fucked the words and ideas out of you.

© fushigowo | 2022 reblogs are appreciated <3

[slut4hee]

Never Have I Ever, Fell In Love With A Psycho | S.JY Teaser

{Paring: Ghostface Jake x Blk Cheerleader Fem! Reader

Release date: Tba

{Synopsis: You are the Star Cheerleader of Woodsboro University, Highly favored by your professors and well loved by your peers. You’re known for being a kind hearted soul, who volunteers to help host the charity events at your school and playing your role as the notorious team captain of the cheer squad. So what could you have possibly done to become Ghostface’s target?

{Genre: smut, serial killer themes, angst, Jake is batshit crazy, college au, 18+ so (mdni).

{Warnings: explicit scenes, rough sex, oral (m&r receiving), unprotected sex, breeding kink, cum eating, knife play, dirty talk, fingering, pet names, mentions of murder, possessive behavior, obsession (Jake), stalking, character death (not reader or Jake), Jealousy, one sided love at first (Jake), profanities, kidnapping.

🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮

Your heart pounds out of your chest rapidly as tears and your now ruined eyeliner runs down your face. You sprint through the hallways of the school running for dear life, hoping and praying that whatever fucked up nightmare this was you will wake up from it soon. You can hear their eerie dark voice and evil menacing laugh behind you causing the hairs on the back of your neck to stand up.

Your vision is blurred from the tears that won’t stop falling from your eyelids, fear consumes you whole as you hear the footsteps getting closer and closer to you. Your breathing is ragged, your heart feels like it’s gonna explode any minute from the adrenaline that’s rushing through your veins.

They’re hot on your tail, you can hear them everywhere around you, from behind you, and in your head completely taking over your brain cells. Finally barging into a empty classroom you lock the door shut.

You spot a storage closet making your way into it, you place your hand over your mouth trying to ground yourself from making any noise while trying to control your breathing. You hear what sounds like the sound of metal dragging against the wall piercing through your eardrums.

The waterworks continues as you try to calm yourself down, fighting the urge to scream out loud because you’re so damn terrified. Your heart sinks to your stomach when you hear the door to the classroom slam open.

You hear footsteps walking slowly across the perfectly polished vinyl floors. A knife can be heard being slowly dragged against the desk causing a horrible sound to echo throughout the classroom causing your breath to hitch.

Your eyes go wide when you realize you given yourself away and you pray to god you wake up from this shitty nightmare as soon as possible. The footsteps grow closer to the storage closet as you peak out the little opening of the closet door.

A figure can be seen wearing a black hooded robe, a white skull like mask, and black gloves. You’re full on going into a state of panic when you recognize the masked person from the news and pictures and posters that’s been posted all around campus.

You heard the masked killer goes by Ghostface and he’s known for being a very heartless brutal serial killer. he’s killed 20 people so far and your heart sinks knowing you will mark the 21st person he murders if he was to kill you.

Just as you are processing the information in your head the door to the closet door swings open and you’re met with none other then Ghostface himself. Your heart feels like it’s not beating anymore as time seems to stop.

You don’t move a muscle, completely frozen and paralyzed from the fear and anxiety that’s coursing through your veins. The masked person slightly tilts their head to the side almost like they’re studying your every move.

Finally building up enough strength to speak you decide to do what anyone would do in this situation, beg for their life to spared.

“P-Please don’t kill me, I haven’t done anything wrong to you please I don’t want to die I’ll do anything you want just please don’t murder me” you plead from the bottom of your heart, hoping Ghostface will let you go. The masked figure doesn’t say a word but just stares at you. His breathing coming in steady and calm causing a gut wrenching chill to run down your spine.

suddenly the masked figure starts to chuckle lowly almost mockingly as they bring the cold metal knife to your chin gently lifting your face being careful to not cut through your pretty brown skin and finally they speak.

“Oh Y/n baby, how could you think so little of me? You think I would hurt the most precious thing I hold dearly to me? Do you think I would harm you my darling love, I’m so disappointed in you my love I thought you would’ve known better” the masked figure leans closer to your face, you can feel his hot breath on your neck as he whispers in your ear.

“You mean the world to me my sweet baby, I could never harm you I will kill myself before I lay a finger on you my dear” they hum reassuringly, tucking one of your braids behind your ear.

“W-Who are you! I-I don’t even know who you are how could you possibly be in love with me” you managed to blurt out despite of being scared for your life. Your eyes widened when the masked figure slowly removes their mask, revealing none other than Jake Sim, the top student in your physics class, the guy who never really speaks to anyone, the guy who sits in the back distant from everyone, the guy who nobody would have thought would be committing these horrible murders.

“What’s wrong baby girl? Surprised to see me” Jake smirks at you with an evil unhinged smile, the fear consumes you still, but the flutter in your stomach and the way your heart skips a beat has you questioning your sanity and now you find yourself asking yourself are you just as insane as him?

To be continued…

A/n: eeeee I’m so excited to write this story, I’m so down bad for Ghostface Jake so I know I’m gonna be creaming nonstop while writhing this 😭 but guys I hope you enjoy the teaser because i literally suck at writing them. Please feel free to reblog, share, comment, and like muah 💋.



[hoshigray]

Sit down for this one, alright? How bout a gigolo! Toji, who stumbles upon you? The reader's friends pay for his services to help ease your stress from work, and you begrudgingly have to accept the offer. And when you finally meet him, it's a night that you were not prepared for you, mentally and physically.

A/n: camgirl! reader this, prostitute! reader that; motherfuckers, if you don't slap your favs onto the field right tf now!!?? Gege himself said that Toji is a manwhore for money and women, so you know I'm running with this idea :/ Lol but fr tho, this was a prompt that has been itching me, plus I love making these scenario thingies!! I outta write them for the other JJK men when I have the time (or maybe y'all can send asks *shrugs*). All ik is that this hot dilf bastard would make a fine gigolo, I'd happily be broke ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Cw: gigolo! Toji x fem! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - age difference (reader is at least in their mid/late-20s) - implied that reader isn't a virgin, but does try new things w/ Toji - Daddy kink - fingering (f! receiving) - breast fondling - prone bone + cowgirl/riding positions - scratching (m! receiving) - cervix fucking - pet names (baby, cutie, good girl, mama, princess, sweetheart, sweet thing) - praise - overstimulation - impact play; spanking (1x) - Toji lowkey simping for the cute, shy reader.

Wc: 2.2k

Gioglo! Toji...

...whose been in the field not as long as his hitman occupation, yet it's a side hustle he's good at. Like, extremely good at. His age and rough appearance wouldn't have you guess that he does this sort of thing; however, men and women sigh in heavenly familiarity just from the sheer mention of his name. When you venture deep into the streets, it's no surprise to the average goer that he is [if not one of] the best gigolo in the game. The younger male escorts find it hard to compete with him, but it's pointless going up against a man of his caliber.

...who enjoys the gigs even when going with it for all these years. Money was the only reason he turned to this hustle in the first place, so, surprisingly, he's continued with this for as long as he can. Especially now that he has two kids and is well past his younger prime, he still uses his body on clients who can't get enough of him. And the number of his customers has stayed steadily high (if not increasing by the day) throughout the years.

But who is he to call this lifestyle off? Easy cash all from some good sex? Toji has no complaints about this side hustle.

...who states he has no favorites among his clients. There are the faces he'll remember — his returning loyal customers — and then the faces only there for a quick fuck and never to be seen again. Not that Toji cares about such things at all. As far as he's concerned, he's only in it for the money. So, as long as the cash looks appealing, he doesn't care what he has to do or has to do it with. Besides, you should never mix your personal life with your profession, especially with a heavily explicit and raunchy one such as this. He lived by that motto all those years and will resume doing so. No matter how hard they plea with doe eyes for him to stay longer, he'll just give them what they want; his deep verdant eyes contrasting his raven hair, his titillating smirk on his scarred lips whispering dirty words to their ears, and his muscular body that put them under his spell in the sheets.

Toji swears he has no favorites. So he thought...

...who is a name you weren't familiar with until your friends came to you, and you expressed nothing but sheer horror after they explained. Apparently, as the most stressed and workaholic person in the group, they thought it'd be a good idea to pitch in and schedule you a night with the infamous Toji Fushiguro. You've practically begged them to reconsider, pull back from the deal, bargained, anything! Even so much as calling one of them ("Please, please, please just call this thing off!" "Sorry, Y/n. He already accepted the offer, so we can't get the money back. Plus, you're gonna be in good hands, I promise! I was with him once, and my body was never the same. I saw him the second time and, literally, my puss—" "OKAY, I GET IT, I'M HANGING UP, BYE!!").

Your objections were directed to deaf ears, so to say you were nervous the night of Toji's arrival was far from comprehension. Coming home from work was hard enough throughout the entire week, becoming difficult to stomach day by day when the fateful day came. Because you never had experience with an escort or playboy before — let alone one who's supposedly well-known to your friends and the streets! Blood running cold as you constantly look at the time, your foot thumping on the ground, and your fingers fidgeting as you wait for the stranger listed to take your virginity away. And with the sudden knock on your door, your heart almost lept out from your mouth. Oh, fucking Christ...

...who surveys your entire appearance after you open the door for him. And he takes his time drinking in your pretty figure, your smooth skin, the alluring scent of your floral lotion, and the cami romper that exhibits your shoulders and thighs to his liking. He notes you avert your gaze when his eyes find their way to yours, and he snickers. Already, he knows he'll have fun with this. "Hey, cutie," Toji says, his gruff tone rare to your ears. "Y'r name's Y/n, right? Heard about you from y'r friends, said they wanted me to treat you."

You gulp before replying. "Yes, that's me...Oh! Please come in, Mr. Fushigu—"

"Toji's enough, sweetheart." He corrects you before entering inside, taking his shoes off at the front and entering the living room. "Nice place ya got. Did'ja wanna do this here? Because I was told to take you out somewhere."

You open your mouth to answer, but you meekly retract yourself. Toji notices your quiet display, chewing on your bottom lip while playing with the tied straps of your romper on your shoulder. Damn, so fuckin' cute. He walks up to you and brings a hand to lightly seize your chin with his thumb and forefinger, and you almost want to scream at the older man examining you like some treasure. "Ya nervous?" You give a shy nod. "Aww, y're a cute lil' thing, huh?"

With hot cheeks, you avert your gaze away from him again. Your modesty amused the older man, "Relax, baby. I'm gonna take good care of you, ya hear? If y're feelin' any pain or somethin', be sure to tell me." He has you turn to him again, caressing your cheek with his warm forefinger. Your lips quiver with anxiousness when you give another nod to him. And with that silent confirmation, you've accepted what happens next.

...who enjoys breaking you down as the night goes on. He has you on your bed with your back against his chest, and he does what he can to warm your body up to him. His big hands grope your breasts and tweeze your erect nipples until one slithers down to your drenched panties and forces a finger between your slick-coated folds. Your whimpers seep past your pretty lips, gasps of air exiting your system when the man kisses your neck and sucks on your skin.

"Mmmm, so tight 'round my fingers, mama," his hoarse voice vibrates his chest. You melt while he nibbles on your ear. "Spread them legs wide fr' me." With quivering limbs, you try to do what you're told, and more wails exit your mouth as he pushes his digits to and fro from your leaky chasm.

And the moment he finally has his dick inside you? Oh, Toji relishes the sensation of you around him. Fucking so deep in the prone bone position, he hammers his pelvis to your ass, and his balls smack onto your vulva coated in slick and come. Your moans fuel him to go harder and faster; the sight of you griping the sheets beneath and your ass jolting with every thrust turns him on too much.

"Haaah—Ahhhh!! Toji, oh God," it was your first time ever in this position, and it's so intense and electrifying with how harsh the older man propels himself to you. His cock scraping your most sensitive walls, you had given up concealing your screams long ago. "It's too much for—Mmmph!! 'S too muuuch..."

"Feelin' good there, princess?"

"Nmmph!! Y-Yess," drool starts to pool on the pillow you're resting on, but you're too occupied to feel ashamed of this lewd image you're exhibiting. "Feels so good, so goo—Ohhoooo!!" Your brows trench with eyes sewn shut, and your climax begins to climb quickly. With a choked cry, you come on Toji's dick for the second time that night, tears wetting the pillowcase while your cunt flutters on him as you release.

Regardless, Toji still ruts into you even when you're under a blissful haze, not until he's done with you. "Good girl, cummin' on my dick like that — Nmmph!!" He pulls out of you, spilling his load onto you, covering your asscheeks and lower back.

...who was surprised to see you again after a week, scheduling him with you on another weekend. Not like he had any objections to it, absolutely not. Because when he sees you give him a bashful smile and wave, he can't help but smirk and walk in your direction. "Well, hey, sweet thing." He'd greet and kiss your cheek before wrapping an arm around your shoulders. "Liked how I took care of you last time?"

You'd pull your stare to the ground yet give him a curt nod, the older man only finding your interaction adorable. "Uh-huh..." And Toji wastes no time wrapping an arm around your waist and walking with you to the nearest hotel.

And he's even more perplexed to see you two weekends after that...and the other two after that...Gradually, you've become a frequent client of his. That fact alone is enough to have him drop what he's about to do to have availability for you.

...who'd start to find himself slowly attracted to you the more you see him. It wasn't about the money when it came to you. In fact, no one knows you pay him significantly lower than the others. Can you blame him, though? When a doll like you always offers him to stay the night at your play after sex or treat him to meals sometimes, it's hard for the man to not feel some type of way about you. The two of you are aware that this relationship is founded on sex for the sake of your stress relief. Yet as the days go on, it's difficult for Toji to not fall in love and be enamored with your charming and sweet self.

Nevertheless, he'd be lying if he said the sex wasn't good between you two. Because it's quite the opposite, especially as Toji observes how sexually free you become with his visits. Whether it be you scratching on his back while he drills his dick into you, marking his tanned skin of your nails ("Oh, my God! I'm so sorry about that!" You'd apologize profusely, but he'd counter with a chuckle. "It's fine, cutie. It's not the first time I got scratched up by a kitten."). Or whether you'd allow him to convince you to try other positions — like his favorite, the full nelson.

Or, in times like this, when you'd have more confidence than before and ask if you'd ride him. And with a grin, Toji lies back and watches you bounce on his cock. An erotic image that he'd love to keep in his memory for as long as he can.

"Ohhh...Hmmm—Ahhnnn!!" Your cries as you straddle him in a desperate tempo, taking in his girth inch by inch, are music to his ears. The view of your beautiful, sweaty, hot body hopping on his dick is recorded with lustful forest-green eyes. "Ahhhh!! Feels so good, Toji, so—Ahhhh!!!"

"Not so fast there, sweetheart." Toji smacks your bare ass, prompting you to come down and lay your head on his shoulder. You look to see his eyes peer down to your teary ones."What's my name again?"

"Hmmm, sorry, Daddy," you correct yourself, your cunt twitching on his length when the title slips out. "Pleaseeee, forgive me—Eeeiiii!! Oh, Jesus..."

Toji grabs your butt with his hands, propelling them downward to match the jerk of his hips, and the tip of his length makes contact with your cervix. Choked sobs strain out from your throat as he kisses your temple. "Good girl, that's my fuckin' girl..."

Oh, fucking shit! It's coming. It's coming! "Daddy, please, I'm about to cum...Ohhhh, gonna cum—Mmmph!!" The older man silences you with his lips on yours, and you follow suit by wrapping your arms around his neck to deepen the passionate kiss. The motion of your hips goes erratic with his, your orgasm coming up for the both of you with the increased speed. It's there you two succumb to climaxing, the walls of your slit clasping around his cock while he pumps the last of his essence into you. Groans and whimpers are exchanged between clingy mouths.

A wave of calm soon calms the air and your sweaty frames stick together. He resumes kissing you until your sensitive body has had enough, removing your lips from his teasing teeth. "Thank you, Toji. Thank you..."

Even out of breath, his scarred lip uproots to a smirk. "Y're so fuckin' cute, ya know that, mama?"

...who understands he's breaking his own rule when it's just you. It's never good mixing business with personal life. He was in it for the money from the start, and that mentality has done him well throughout the years. Do whatever the clients ask, take the money, and move on. Can't attach yourself to them. Now, he's found himself going against his motto; enjoying his time with you more than any of the others he's been with, looking forward to seeing you again to enjoy having you to himself. Whenever you aren't around him, it's evident that you will cloud his mind until you text or call.

But as he's stated before: as long as their cash in front of him and both parties get what they want, there's no need to have favorites...However, as long it's just you, he'll always be willing to make an exception.

[cillianhead]

Strawberry Syrup || Cillian Murphy

summary: A hot day by the pool with your desperate boyfriend <3

Warnings: SMUT!! Dubcon Themes, Unprotected P in V, oral (f receiving), fingering, sex in the pool, public sex, Daddy kink, Food Play (LISTEN.... DON'T ACTUALLY DO THIS STUFF BC ITS UNSANITARY!! (it could give you a UTI or a yeast infection or anything like that D: ), sorta switch!Cillian, squirting, Adult content!! (some sorta self insert bits that are a bit toooooo personal but it's just like a mention of reader having tattoos and stuff hehe) (Age Gap mentions, Cillian is older, Reader is in her mid 20s and he's in his mid 30s) (Cillian is a horndog in this basically)

Short fic since I haven't uploaded anything in a while.

((also stuff in italics... is sort of like memories or something (so stuff in italics isn't necessarily related to the plot... but it's gonna be mixed throughout the whole fic so just a reminder the stuff that is ITALICISED is all stuff that's either "thoughts" or "memories of the past"))

(also currency is talked about and I used the words "dollars" and "cents" because that's just what I'm used to saying? But I know there's like pounds and all the other currencies there are KDSKDSKD)

18+ MINORS DNI

Cillian had been incredibly needy lately, following you everywhere you went like a lost puppy. He just wanted your attention even though he got plenty of it. Well... maybe not this past week. Cillian and you went at it like rabbits, like at least three times a day everyday kind of thing. But you wondered how long it would take for him to get on his knees and beg after getting denied over and over and over again for you to give him (and specifically his raging boner) any sort of attention. You were surprised you had made it even to the seven-day mark. But here you were.

Cillian had turned into a total cranky mess. And you were loving it. Of course, he could get himself off... that's what made it so good, every morning you'd pretend you're asleep while you listened to the sound of him whimpering and whining like a bitch in heat and fisting his cock as he got off to the sight of you 'sleeping'.

And fuck the sweltering summer air didn't help. The aircon was broken and you'd gone through a dozen fans, trying to blow away the hot air. But the heat was making Cillian feel stir-crazy. He had to have you. No matter how hot it was, no matter how sweaty or dehydrated, he had to have you right fucking now.

He had done about a thousand fucking laps of his substantially large swimming pool, trying to work his pent-up frustration and energy out but it only did so well. He had swam until his legs were cramped up, and his eyes stung from the chlorine, leading them to be bloodshot and somehow miraculously making his eyes even bluer (bluer than the aquamarine pool). And there you lie. In that bikini you know is too tight. And he thinks to himself 'Why do you even bother to be in your bikini when it's just the two of us and I can fucking see your entire pussy through that thing anyway?'. You're reading some romance novel, and you're wet but not from the pool. Cillian is rock hard in his soaking and tight swimming shorts, the head of his cock is barely concealed from peaking out. He's dripping wet and he's angry.

"Why de fuck have you been denying me of sex for the past.... 7 days and 15 hours or however de fuck long it's been, girl?" He huffed, sitting down and carelessly grabbing your book (which was fucking printed and published in the 70s... IT CAN'T HANDLE THE WATER) and tossing it to the side, onto the wet ground. You gasp and reach out to grab your book that's been smashed in like a yam and wet and torn apart but Cillian grabs you by your forearms, brushing your new fresh tattoo (the reason you weren't swimming) and making you hiss.

"Ow... why would you do that, Cillian?" You scolded, wriggling in his hold. But you knew what was happening... he was finally taking charge. The thing you loved most about Cillian was how he was so giving and so desperate to please you at all times, like an obedient dog. He was madly in love with you and submissive to your demands, anything you wanted, you'd get. And you'd boss him around in the bedroom but that was fine because Cillian was in love with your pussy too, and whatever it took to get it, he'd do it... even if he had to dress up as a clown to do so. But he was also controlling when he got it most of the time. Though he was nearing 35, he was still like a teenager when it came to you. Dick was hard at just the sight of you and he immediately would need your hand or your mouth (if he was lucky) or even your tight pussy that always wrapped around him so perfectly. It didn't matter where you were... if he was driving, he'd get it... if you were in a public park on a Sunday night, he'd get it... if you were in a grocery store on a Black Friday sale (he'd get it), waiting in line as he ground himself into your ass until he came in his pants... It looked like he was just hugging you from behind. But you had to stand there in horror as he did so because you couldn't make a scene.

"Answer me question... babe..." He whispered as he pressed you down into the softly cushioned sunbathing chair. You were both being cooked in the sun but you were both lathered in sunscreen so it was fine. Oh, the horror on Cillian's face as he watched slather the white creamy liquid over your tits and rubbed the lotion in so incredibly sexually. You didn't even let him touch your tits for this whole week, he was suffering. But Cillian didn't care that his back was already beginning to sunburn, he fucking needed you now and honestly he was so pussy-hungry that he didn't care what it takes to get his dick inside of you. In his eyes you were the lamb and he was the depraved wolf, drooling at the sight of your trembling body beneath him. Ready to be covered in your blood.

"I just..." You shook your head and smiled to yourself, laughing out air as you bit your lip. "I just thought maybe I was letting you have it too much... you were becoming too spoiled..."

"What does that even mean?" He huffed and leaned in, resting his full body weight on top of you so you couldn't move and his hips were aligned with yours so his hard cock could press upright against your nice and warm core. Though still through his swimmers and your thin little bikini thong.

"F-Fuck..." You whimpered, honestly, you had been suffering too... even your vibrator couldn't do it for you, and just the mere pressure of his thick cock up against you... you felt like you could cum. You arched your back involuntarily. "I just... fuck... thought maybe we needed a tolerance break?"

"A fuckin' tolerance break... I'm not a drug darlin' and neither are you, baby you're just depriving yourself of what you need..." He growled right into the shell of your ear, teeth nipping at your neck. "Let me in..." He was a bit drunk and horribly depraved and his voice was like gravel.

"Beg for it," You whispered out and Cillian groaned, this time fully collapsing in on you and laying his head in the crook of your neck, rocking his hips back and forth on yours. He humped you lazily and you allowed it, enjoying the whines he was making and the pleasure that was pulsing within you.

"Please... fucking hell... please..." He moaned with a cry. "I need you so bad... my hand won't do... it just won't do... please Y/N... please baby... let me fuck you... please... let me at least get a taste of ya once again..."

"Show me how good you can go down on me baby and I'll see if you're good enough to put your dick in me..." You hummed and he sighed as he began kissing you sloppily. "You can leave one mark... Cillian... ONE..."

"Thank you... thank you, sweet girl..." Cillian whined, hands beginning to cup your body cautiously. He was so afraid he was going to do something wrong and suddenly you'd deny him even the pleasure of having your clit in his mouth. But as he kissed down your chest his fingers trembled hesitantly over your bikini top, tits begging to be released. "Can I? Please?"

"Go ahead, Cill..." You hummed with a smug smile on your face. His hands instantly moved at your words of approval, tugging the fabric from off of your nipples and popping it into his mouth with a moan. Cillian's eyes closed as he sighed from his nose, finally satisfied for now. His thumb twiddled with your other nipple, causing you to let out breathy whimpers. "F-Fuck... Cillian..."

"Mmmm..." He groans, slobber dripping from his lips as he continues to rut himself into your hips. Cillian's hair was all messy from when he'd been in the pool, ends curling and falling over his face. He looked so pretty with your tit in his mouth.

"You're all mine..." You whispered, running your thumb along his razor-sharp cheekbone, skin softer than silk. "You're my property aren't you, Cillian?" You grabbed him by the nape of his neck, tugging on the roots of the longer hair that grew there. You pulled his head off of your nipple, his mouth agape and he whines like a brat.

"I'm yours, Y/N..." He huffs, leaning back down to keep sucking but you pulled harder on his neck as if he were a misbehaving kitten. "F-Fuck... I'm your property... darling... all yours... please... I just... I just want to please you..." "I know, honey..." You cooed with a smirk as you reached over to the table beside you and picked a strawberry from the batch and popped it in your mouth, sucking on it suggestively. "That's why you're gonna eat me out like your life depends on it..." You're amused as you watch him scramble to lie flat on his stomach between your legs and he watches as you take off your bikini bottoms and spread your legs open wide. His pupils dilated immediately at the sight.

"I've missed this so much," He whines, his voice breaking as he leans in and kisses your pussy. His eyes flutter close at the little taste of you, his mouth hovering ever so slightly above your cunt, not quite touching. His lips touch you again and as he licks up your pussy he moans and fully presses himself in there, snout buried into your clit as his tongue flickered in and out of your gushing hole.

"O-Oh... that's it..." You arch your back as you push his head further into your warmth. He was completely breathing you in now as your thighs squeezed your head but eventually, you felt two hands grab ahold of your shaky thighs and pin them down side by side until you were spread out. It was concerning how easily he was able to bend and shape you into different positions, molding you like clay. It helped that he was impossibly strong as he manhandled you down into this position, eating you out for his own pleasure, not yours.

You were a writhing mess and you felt embarrassed to admit that you were about to cum. "Fuck you need to slow down... need to slow down a bit for me... Cill..." You whimpered, moaning loud enough for the neighbors to hear but you didn't care. But he only sped up, devouring you completely.

He was truly eating your pussy like his life depended on it because it did. Nothing else mattered to him but drinking down the sweet juice that your fruit of a pussy gave him. You may not be a drug but he was addicted to your cunt like it was one. Cillian had an obsession with you and he had an obsession with your perfect so-called 'heavenly' pussy. He wrote songs about you, he wrote poems about the euphoria of having your tight walls wrapped around him at all times, even during. Wet ink on wet skin, black ink smeared across your stomach as he wrote words that were coming into his mind, words you had inked on your skin with a tattoo machine later on.

"Cillian..." You whined loudly, your moan was pornographic, and with the way he could feel your heartbeat pounding against his tongue as he swirled it around your clit. His mouth was masterful and precise as you came on his face. He knew how to make you cum in a way no other did. You truly were soulmates. At least that's what he said. The sound of your whiny voice and how incredibly wet your pussy was, he just knew. So he slipped a finger into you and you seized up and cried as your body spasmed with pleasure. Only one finger made it feel like you were being stretched right open, you were always so tight and wet, and yet you could take so much. You knew he knew he had earned it... he had that look in those steel blue eyes, that cheeky look, full of mischief and lust that he knew it was okay for him to slip a finger in without asking because he was preparing you for what was to come.

"Fuck... Fuck... oh my god..." You had such a dirty mouth but you couldn't help the pathetic and inappropriate words or sounds you were making right now. Your consciousness and being were elsewhere as Cillian pushed you over the edge once more into an impending and mind-shattering orgasm. He slipped in a second finger and you mewled as you felt your cunt uncontrollably spasm as it squirted out onto Cillian's face and soaking his face oncemore. It was as if he had dived right into that 2 meters of water, soaking his entire face and chest, some of it even getting in his hair.

"Give it to me, baby girl... that's it..." He mumbled into your quivering pussy, your clit growing numb. One of his hands moved from its other position on keeping your hips in place to your nipples. He knew you so well and he knew all the buttons to push to make it that much better. It was overwhelming.

"O-Okay... Okay... that's enough... please... Cillian... please..." You cry tapping the top of his head impatiently and hesitantly he slipped his fingers from your sticky cunt and sat back up, pulling your legs over his so his crotch was perfectly aligned with your overstimulated pelvis. "Cillian... baby... I just need a moment..."

"Yeah? That's alright, my love," He whispered and he leaned in and kissed you, smearing your lips and face with your own cum. But at this point you were too drunk on your own pleasure to care, his lips to pretty... too irresistable to deny a kiss. That's one thing you hadn't denied him of... your lips. To kiss of course... nothing else. You made out like horny teenagers but you never did anything... barely touching him over his clothes. Just to get him really hot and bothered.

"I love you..." You whispered into his mouth that's dripping with drool and squirt.

"I love you more," He huffed and laid on you, lying his head on one of your tits and sighing happily. He looked over at all the fruit lying on the table that looked almost as delicious as you. "God that looks like good fruit..."

"Yeah..." You ran your fingers along his freckled back, muscles sculpted perfectly over his pointy shoulder blades. "Got them at the store yesterday... erm... they were on sale for like... two dollars and ninety cents or something..." You shrugged heavily as you began running your fingers through his hair.

"Wow... is that all? That's amazing..." He chirped and he raised his head up to look at your pretty face. "Well... did I prove myself to you, my darling girl?" "Y-Yeah... fuck... you really wanna do it right now?" You mumbled as you looked up into his eyes with a gaze full of love. You were still so sensitive from what had just happened, you hadn't cum like that for A WHOLE WEEK. You felt like you just took a dose of ecstasy. "Can we just cuddle for a bit?"

"Hmm...." He sighed, sitting up on the chair now and gazing down at how sticky your pussy looked and then at the strawberries that looked just as ripe and appetizing. He nodded. "Alright... baby... I'll give ya a little break..." He reached over and grabbed a strawberry from the bunch. It was red like the bruise he left on your neck. And as he bit into the juicy strawberry, he thought of you.

"Is it good?" You asked as you sat up a bit on the chair more and reaching out for one yourself.

"So good," He moaned with a mouthful of strawberry syrup and pulp. "Tastes like you."

"What?" You laughed and blushed as you ate your own strawberry. "You're so stupid..." You snickered as you ate.

"It's just the truth," He shrugged, the tops of his shoulders were flushed from the hot sun but the both of you were enjoying the warmth. "I love you... I am so in love with you... I am the luckiest man alive..."

"God shut up..." You rolled your eyes and smiled bashfully at his praising. But he loved it when you played it coy with him, he thought you were so cute. And he thought you could never look more beautiful, sunkissed and warm in the sun with him. Your hair is a mess and your tits are out and still wet from his spit. The straps of your bikini still help to accentuate your features and make you look like a treat he needs to unwrap.

"God I can't wait to put my cock in you..." He whispered as he pressed the tip of a strawberry to your sternum. The cold perked you up a bit as you watched him drag the strawberry down your stomach and onto your recovering pussy. He pressed the ruby red fruit onto your sticky clit and ran it down even further.

"Cillian... what are you doing... don't-" But you were interrupted by the feeling of an intrusion. He pressed the tip of the rather large and bulbous strawberry into your cunt, soaking it in your ambrosia-like cum. "Oh... Oh my god..." He pressed it in slightly deeper until he was only clutching at the stem and then he pulled it out intact and popped the tip of it into his mouth.

"Mmmm...." He bit into it and pulled it away, the strawberry juice dripping from his lips as he spoke. "Perfect.... so... fucking.... divine..."

You laid back and huffed out. "I can't believe you just did that... oh my god..."

"Did it feel like a cock?" Cillian asked bluntly and with a stupid-cocky grin on his face. "Tell me, Y/N... when you let me put a strawberry in that little cunt of yers... did it feel as good as when I have my dick in ya?" He leaned in and whispered right into your ear as he pressed the open strawberry to your clit and you let out a gasp.

"N-No..." You shook your head and closed your eyes shut. "It didn't... you shouldn't have done that..."

"Tell me how badly you want me inside you..." Cillian was using that voice he knew got to you. That deep and raspy bedroom voice... if he spoke like that to you always... you would commit heinous crimes for him if he told you so. "C'mon... like you said earlier... beg for it... like yer life depends on it..."

You were flustered at the switch in control. You found yourself suddenly helpless to the pleasure that was accumulating within you, a strawberry rubbing your sticky clit in the most perfect rhythm. Cillian was a dirty-minded man when it came to you... and he smirked as he watched you give in to it... you let him get you off with a literal strawberry.

The strawberry juice leaked down your already sopping pussy, making it the perfect treat for Cillian to lean down and make out with your sex and suck up the juice left behind from the fruit. He still feverishly rubbed the half-bitten fruit against your throbbing clit while he licked circles around your hole... where you really needed him.

"Pl-Please... Cillian..." You moaned pathetically, you hated when he made you beg. You let out a bratty huff and rolled your eyes. "Please... I need you..."

"Need me to what?" He smirked as he bit into the strawberry now, one finger inside of you, fingering your g-spot. He was finished with the fruit, mind now fully focused on you as he made you cum all over his fingers, readying you for the stretch of his cock.

"Cillian..." You whined.

"Be a good girl now..."

"Fuck... please... I need you to fuck me... need you to cum in me..." You added that last part with a smirk. You didn't let Cillian cum inside of you always, just to mix it up a little because you knew there was no other feeling out there for him that was like cumming inside of you, it was euphoric for him. You liked playing hard to get. "Please... daddy... put your babies in me?" You reached your hand up and tugged on the chain you had got him for his birthday. And you looked up at him with doe-like eyes that you knew would get him to give in to you and your pleading.

He kissed you instantly and undid his shorts to pull his suffering cock out. It was sensitive and painfully hard and he couldn't wait to bust a load into you. Especially if you were calling him daddy.

"Such a good girl..." He praised as he lined the thick head of his cock up with your pussy. He smeared you with the leaking precum and as he pressed into you, he sighed with pleasure. "I missed being inside you... so much..." Cillian whispered, eyes squeezed shut.

"Please... oh my god..." You arched your back as he stretched you open with his veiny cock. "Daddy...." You cried. "Please... kiss me..."

"Aw... how sweet..." He cooed condescendingly to you as he leaned in and connected your lips but as you opened your mouth he spat right onto your tongue and grabbed ahold of your jaw. "Swallow..." He growled and you did just that and swallowed his spit obediently. "That's right... baby... you belong to me..."

His hips moved and you were deemed speechless as he began fucking you. Your fence only went so high, if someone next door went on their top balcony or even opened their curtains they would see Cillian fucking you like you were in some sort of porno film. You were seeing stars as he rocked his hips in and out of you. It was graceful in the way he moved, like a ballet dancer, every move perfectly choreographed and precise. The tip of his cock was abusing your g-spot repeatedly, to the point you were barely coherent enough to speak. Body limp and mind blank as you were used for all you were good for.

His hands gripped at your hips tightly, rocking you back and forth as he moaned like the slut he was. Cillian was loving every second of this as he thrusted his hips back and forth perfectly spearing you on his cock. You clutched the chair with your left hand and the other left scratch makrs down his poor sunburnt back. But the pain was worth it, the feeling of your warm sticky walls wrapped around him... well... it felt like home. And his eyes rolled into the back of his head as you squeezed around him, he fucked you like an animal, gripping one of your tits in his palm, squeezing it and groaning once more as you clenched around him.

"Daddy.... I'm gonna..." You whined in a high pitch voice, eyebrows knitted together and your tongue hanging heavy on your jaw. "I'm gonna cum... oh my god..." "Cum for me baby, make a mess all over me... please...." He groaned with a sigh as he leaned down and attached his mouth to your other tit, the one he hadn't before. He flexed his hips every time he pressed his cock into you, pressing it deeper in you as he leaked out cum. "I'm gonna cum too..." He huffed, face flushed and sweaty, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

"Please cum inside me..." You moaned as you threw your head back, your orgasm engulfing you. He did just that, biting your neck as he fucked you full of his seed, balls sticky with a mixture of your arousal and his. "Ooh... feels so good..." "Yeah, baby..." He whimpered and pressed his hot lips to the side of your face, leaving sloppy traces of spit along your cheeks until your lips tangled with his. He made out with you as you rode out your high, your entire body was overflowing with love and the white-hot blinding pleasure. You still felt so full and stretched out on him but then he slowly eased his movements and pulled out, biting his lip. "God..." Cillian gasped, sitting up and looking down at your pussy that now seeped out his cum. "So pretty..."

"Please... hold me..." You pouted, reaching out your heavy arms to have him lie on top of you again. "Need to feel you... daddy..."

Cillian obliged happily, scooping you up in his arms and shifting so you were lying in his lap with your head on his shoulder. He held you and kissed your head. "I love you so much, you know that right?" He whispered into your scalp that he smelled with a smile on his lips.

"I love you more..." You grinned bashfully, running your nose along his collarbone and neck. You just loved the way he smelled. It wasn't his cologne or anything... it was just the way he smelled. You were addicted to it. "That was so good... can't believe we went a whole week without it..."

Cillian snickered and nodded. "Yeah... if you give me a couple of minutes ill be able to go at it again..." He smirked, cheeks rosy as he looked at you fondly.

"God shut up... you sillyhead..." You ruffled his wet hair and kissed the tip of his nose as you two laid there. Eventually you would go inside and he'd sneak himself into your shower where you'd fuck him against the wall while still covered in your strawberry-syrup body wash.

-----

It's summer here and I am dying from the heat and the idea of physically touching anyone right now is so ugh... EW... but Cillian is the only exception of course.

Hope you enjoyed this little fic... I know it's short but I wanted to give you guys something... the third part to Red Eyes and A Pair of New Glasses will be out soon I promise :)...

[a-kind-of-merry-war]

will you please give us examples of resources to look at if we want to learn more about the concept of gender and maybe even transness in Medieval Europe? thanks!

whooooo boy right, there's a lot! I wanna start this by saying that I am very much not an expert, and I only have access to stuff I can find for free and the handful of books I can afford to buy second hand. Most of my research has been around gender as it relates to transness and GNC people. I am absolutely missing stuff, or have forgotten stuff, or simply lack the know-how to find stuff.

There's a few bits I've got on a TBR but haven't read yet - some I've included and some I haven't, depending on the source and how established it is.

Also: this is medieval Europe. The way pronouns are used to describe people don't really align with modern views of sex and gender. Also be aware of old-fashioned language use (for example, some texts talk about "hermaphrodites"). Remember that the way we talk about gender and trans identities is far different to how we even spoke about it 20 years ago.

So with that out of the way... I am chucking this under a read more, because it's long:

---

GENDER

Medieval ideas around gender were different to how we now think about it. The Hippocratic view of gender saw gender as a sort of wet/dry, cold/hot spectrum upon which men were at one end and women the other (and in the middle were intersex people). The male body was seen as hot and dry, and the female as cold and wet. The cold, wetness is what made women try to seek out heat from guys. A lot comes down to humors rather than genitals - if you're hot and dry, that innately means you grow a penis, because the heat sorta forces it out. So the marker is that penis = man, but you only have that penis in the first place because of your hot, dry humor.

Some people believed the vagina was an inverted penis - as in, the penis turned outside in. Some schools of thought believed that both men and women produced "seed", and that both were needed for conception. These thoughts and ideas shifted around a lot.

The Hippocratic view shifted towards Aristotelian ideas around the 12th Century, where the male/female divide was a lot stronger. There were also surgeons throughout all these periods who sought to "correct" intersex genitalia with surgery (how little things change).

This podcast (I've linked to a transcript, because I have more time to read than listen to things) with Dr Eleanor Janega is super interesting. In fact, I'd recommend reading her whole blog, which is fascinating. She also has a book out (but I've not read it so I can't give a yay or nay on that one)

The Meanings of Sex Difference in the Middle Ages by Joan Cadden seems to be a good source on this, but I've not read it so I can't vouch for it 100%.

I've listed below some real people who could fit into our modern interpretation of transness, and the fact that all of these people were only "outed" when arrested or at their death makes me think that there were probably a lot more people at the time who would also fit into this category. It does feel (to me, a layman) that you could rock up in a new town and go "hello I'm Jeff the Man" and people would just accept that.

It's also important to note that the majority of sources I've found are about people we could define as trans men (FTM). I've only found one person who could be described as a trans woman. If anyone out there has more sources for trans women, I'd love to hear them - specifically in medieval Europe/England.

There's also a big discussion to be had around the idea of women dressing as men to achieve a goal. People love getting into arguments about it. My general rule is that if someone lived as X gender, and was forcibly outed against their will or at death, then I feel we can more safely assume that their experience maps more closely onto a trans narrative than it does one of a woman taking on the "disguise" of a man.

---

TRANS & GNC ACADEMIA

Here's some of the sources I've been using that examine medievalism through a trans or trans-adjacent lens.

Trans and Genderqueer Subjects in Medieval Hagiography, Alicia Spencer-Hall & Blake Gutt - a deep dive/collection of essays about medieval religious figures/saints through a trans lens, specifically about cross-dressing figures. Really fascinating, and available on open access.

How to be a Man, Though Female: Changing Sex in Medieval Romance, Angela Jane Weisl - goes into detail about medieval texts in which characters change their sex.

Transgender Genealogy in Tristan de Nanteuil, Blake Gutt - trans theory in the story Tristan de Nanteuil.

Trans Historical: Gender Plurality before the Modern, edited by Greta LaFleur, Masha Raskolnikov & Anna Kłosowska - A great big examination into trans history/gender. I desperately want this book.

Clothes Make the Man, Female Cross Dressing in Medieval Europe, Valerie R. Hotchkiss (book, no online source available) - Another look into women dressing as men and gender inversion.

The Shape of Sex, Leah DeVun (book) - A history of nonbinary sex, 200 - 1400BC. Not read this one yet but it's on my TBR.

In fact, I'd recommend all of Leah DeVun's work, which I'm currently making my way through. I'm currently reading Mapping the Borders of Sex.

The Third Gender and Aelfric's Lives of Saints, Rhonda L. McDaniel - An examination into the idea of a "third gender" in monastic life based around chastity and spiritualism

Erecting Sex: Hermaphrodites and the Medieval Science of Surgery, Leah DeVun - an essay about "corrective" surgery on intersex individuals in the 13th/14th centuries. (I've not fully read this one yet but the topic is relevant)

----

TRANS FIGURES

Joseph/Hildegund (died 1188) - A monk who, upon his death, was discovered to have a vagina/breasts.

Eleanor Rykener (1394) - A (likely) trans sex worker arrested in 1394 (and another source that isn't wiki)

Katherina Hetzeldorfer (killed 1477) - An early record of a "woman" being executed for female sodomy. Katherina dressed and presented as a man, and some scholars read them as a trans man.

Marinos/Marina the Monk (5th Cent) - A monk who was born a woman and lived as a man in a monastery. Marinos was accused of getting a local innkeeper's daughter pregnant. Their "true sex" was discovered upon their death.

-----

ROMANCES* & GENDER

If you're interested in the idea of gender presentation and trans-adjacent stories, I very much recommend taking a look at some contemporary sources. I've tried to take a sort of neutral approach to pronouns for these descriptions, but it's hard to marry the medieval and modern ideas of sex and gender! The titles are all links.

*Romances here means Chivalric Romances: prose/verse narratives about chivalry, often with fantastic elements. Not, like, falling in love Romances.

Le Roman de Silence (13th Cent) - in order to ensure inheritance, a couple raise their daughter as a boy. The baby is called Silence/Silentius/Silentia. The poem features the forces of Nature and Nurture, who argue about Silence's "true" gender - Nature claims they're a girl, and Nurture claims they're a boy. Silence has a variety of adventures, largely referred to in the text as a man with he/him pronouns, and at the end their "true gender" is discovered and, as a woman, they marry the king.

Yde et Olive (15th Cent) - to avoid being married to their own father, Yde, a woman, disguises themselves as a man and becomes a knight. They end up in Rome, where the king marries them to their daughter, Olive. After a couple of weeks, Yde tells Olive about their "true gender", but the conversation is overheard. The King demands Yde bathe with him to prove they are a man. An angel intervenes and transforms Yde's body into that of a man.

Iphis and Ianthe (Greek/Roman myth, but also in Ovid's Metamorphois, which first came to England in the 15th Cent) - Telethusa is due to give birth, but her husband tells her that if the baby is a girl he'll have it killed. When she gives birth to a girl, she disguises the baby as a boy. Eventually, Iphis is engaged to Ianthe. (Incidentally, this is also a really early example of same-sex romance, as Iphis struggles with their love for Ianthe "as a woman"). Before the wedding, Iphis and Telethusa pray at the temple of Isis, who transforms Iphis into a man.

Tristan de Nanteuil (11th/12th Cent) - from the Chanson de geste, after his alleged death, Tristan's wife, Blanchandin/e, disguises themselves as a Knight. Clarinde, a sultan's daughter, falls in love with them. Blanchandin manages to hide their "true sex", but when Clarinde demands they bathe with her to prove they are a man they flee into the woods. There, they meet an angel who asks if they want to be transformed into a man. Blanchandin accepts and he is turned into a man for the rest of the poem. (Incidentally the angel gives him a giant cock. Yes, the text specifies this).

Le Livre de la mutation de fortune (1403) - written in the first person by Christine de Pizan, the poem describes how the narrator is transformed by Fortune into a man after the death of their husband during a storm at sea. They maintain that 13 years after the event, they are still living as a man. (They also mention Tiresias, a Greek mythological figure who was a man transformed into a woman for seven years).

Okay, for now - that's about all I can think of. Happy reading!

[theunbearableweightofpedropascal]

Angel p.2

Summary: You and Charlie go on your first date.

A/N: I need more Charlie Swan fics, so I've resorted to writing them.

Warnings: Smut 18+, p in v sex,

Word Count: 3.1k

Throughout the day you were taking time to get ready for your and Charlie’s date later. Thankfully you had the day off so you took full advantage of sleeping in till noon. Picking your outfit wasn’t hard, a mini floral sundress with pink accents paired with straw platforms. 

Next up on your agenda was getting the perfect make-up look, precisely one that looked natural. A tutorial on puppy-dog eyeliner catches your eye. Upon completing both eyes you try it with a red lip stain, solidifying your look for the evening. You head into the bathroom to scrub it all off before fixing yourself a snack.

Your parents were going out for their semi-regular date night so you wouldn’t have to explain your absence to them. The clock nears 7:00 and you know Charlie is arriving around 8:30, you gather your step-by-step routine and start the process with a hot shower. Your counter is an array of skincare and makeup products, and your styled hair is packed away in your shower cap. 

The water helps relax you and your thoughts about the date. You take your time exfoliating your entire body before shaving. You decide to leave your vagina alone hoping that’ll keep you from giving it up. Stepping out the the shower you wipe the mirror and check your phone seeing two texts from Charlie.

Getting off work now. - Charlie 7:40

Getting ready now. -Charlie 7:46

Looking at the messages makes you laugh, his personality shines through the texts. Since he was giving you updates it only seems fair you return the favor. You raced to your room to find a tank top and some lounge shorts, but not before lotion and baby oil. You place yourself in front of the mirror in your room, making sure the sliver of skin below your tank is showing. Turning your phone around you smile up at your camera waiting for the click.

Halfway done I promise. -You 7:53 

It took you a little longer than you would’ve liked but the picture turned out great. You head back into your bathroom to make up for lost time. Carefully you begin concealing your under-eyes, the finished product gives you the natural glow you were looking for. The puppy-dog eyeliner from earlier is easy to put back on, and it suits your eyes more. The last two steps are your brows and lips but you decide to put on your dress first.

You check your phone and see 3 texts from Charlie along with the time. 8:20. The dress you picked out was a floral print with pink accents, and the neckline scrunches around your breast allowing you to forgo a bra. The sleeves went off your shoulder and stopped at your wrists, you decided it was best to also take a cardigan in case. The fit was close to your body but not skin-tight, allowing for a flowy bottom. Walking back to your bathroom, you finish your lip with a deep burgundy stain and brush your eyebrows with hairspray. You finally check your text messages, pleasantly surprised. 

You look beautiful. -Charlie 7:53

On my way to you. - Charlie 8:10

The third and final message is an awkward photo of Charlie standing in what you guess is his foyer. You are almost sure that Bella was the poor soul taking the photo, you wonder how that conversation went. But you check what time he left again and realize you might have miscalculated your prep time. Your window faces the street so you check for his car and see nothing and there aren’t any new messages. Quickly you grab your perfume to spritz all over. Your platform sandals are easy to slip on before you make your way downstairs. 

The mirror by the front door of your house is occupied by you checking for last-minute touch-ups. The doorbell sounds and you almost sprint to the door with your purse in hand before turning the knob. Charlie stands in front of you with a beautiful bouquet made of violets and daffodils. You weren’t expecting him to get you flowers, but you step back and motion for him to come inside. After you close the door behind him he hands you the flowers.

“Thank you, Charlie. They’re gorgeous.” You stand on your toes to peck his cheek. 

“Of course Angel.” Charlie smiles down at you with flushed cheeks, he is nervous about if the flowers would be too much.

“Let me just put these in some water and put them in my room.” You run quickly to the kitchen to find a vase to place them in. In your room, you decide to place the flowers next to your bed. You meet Charlie at the door and you take the time to look at what he put on. Gone is his usual uniform of flannel and jeans, instead, he stands before you in a grey knit sweater with dark jeans. It even looks like he trimmed up his mustache.

“You clean up nice Chief Swan.” You glide your hand up his arm and along his bicep caressing it. Charlie feels his heart speed up at your antics, but he rolls his eyes to cover his flushed cheeks.

“Not as nice as you,” His voice is low as he reaches out to play with the hem of your dress. “You ready to go?”

You nod your head and he opens the door for you to step onto the patio. He waits as you lock the front door, When you turn around with a big smile his stomach jolts. As usual he opens the door and waits for you to settle before closing it. When he enters from his side he smells your perfume, and it gives him a reason to be extra close to you later. 

The drive to Port Angeles was smooth, you opted to play the radio rather than start a meaningless conversation. Although Charlie wasn’t a fan of listening to music he didn’t want to subject you to silence. The view kept you mostly occupied, you forgot how pretty the landscape here was. 

Charlie pulls the car into the parking lot of the Italian spot, at least for where you guys live. Surprisingly he places a hand on your thigh telling you not to move before he gets out to open your door. Excitement beats through your body when Charlie rounds the car, the date is already off to a great start. His hand stretches out towards you to take when he gets to your door and you gladly take it. You take the opportunity given and you keep your hand in his on the way inside. 

The hostess greets the both of you with a smile before asking how many. 

“I made a reservation under Swan for two.” Although it’s a small feat the fact that he made reservations in the first place makes you smile. As the hostess checks the books you bring your other arm to his bicep. Charlie sneaks a peek down at you only to see you look at him like he hung the star and moon. He’s worried you can hear his heart thundering. 

“Yes, Mr. & Mrs. Swan please follow me.” She grabs two menus before walking to the right. As you walk through the restaurant you’re happy you see no one from town. Not that you’d be embarrassed by Charlie, but the gossip was already bad enough when you two were having friendly lunches. The booth you’re led to is the perfect opportunity to find excuses to rub against Charlie. 

“Your server should be with you shortly.” You both thank the hostess before looking through the menu. You’re having trouble deciding between what you usually get or if you want to try something new. 

“You see anything you like? You do like Italian food right?” Charlie’s nervous line of questioning makes you giggle. 

“I love Italian.” You seal your admission with a kiss.

“Sorry I just don’t wanna mess anything up, it’s been a while.” Charlie scratches the back of his neck while looking away from you. 

“I can’t see why, you’re a catch. I mean you got me flowers and made reservations, even though you didn’t need them. It shows you are very thoughtful.” You rattle off wanting him to know how much you appreciate his little gestures. 

Charlie has no choice but to accept your compliments, and he’s glad you think so highly of him. Even if he can’t quite see it. 

“Have you thought about which wine we should go with?” Charlie leans over to where you’re looking at the drink menu.

“I thought you would order a Budweiser.” You can’t help but poke fun at him.

“Ha ha I’ll have you know I can be a man of fine dining, sometimes I get my steak medium well.” The laughter that falls from your lips has his heart skipping. 

“Well, then I think a merlot would be good.” You hear no objections from Charlie and go back to your meal options.

The dim lighting in the restaurant makes you feel at home, and Charlie doesn’t make you nervous. He makes you giddy and excited but you’re comfortable around him, despite your attraction.

“Good Evening, I’m Evan,” A teenage boy approaches your table with a smile and a basket of breadsticks. “I’ll be your server tonight. Are there any drinks I can get started for ya?”

“Yes, could we get a bottle of Merlot to start?” Charlie answers the waiter while you grab a breadstick. 

“Of course do you need more time for appetizers?” The server readies himself for Charlie’s answer.

“Could we get a house salad please, I think we still need time for the main course thank you.” You’ve successfully finished your breadstick and reached for another, but Charlie reaches for the same one. He playfully slaps your hand away to collect his first one. Your jaw drops at his audacity.

“So that’s how it is huh?” You playfully glare at him.

“You got the first one didn’t you?” He gripes before taking his first bite.

“What happened to ladies first? Chivalry?” After your rant, he places a breadstick onto your plate.

Throughout the dinner, you and Charlie’s conversation continued to be effortless. You ended up ordering a shrimp scampi and Charlie chose a lasagna. The bottle of wine was one glass away from being finished, and you could feel its effects coursing through you. Although you ate most of your food and had a sliver of Charlie’s, you still had some leftovers. Charlie took it upon himself to help you finish.

You found yourself playing with Charlie’s hand, tracing the prominent veins. The sight of him hounding your food is surprisingly something you’ve come to enjoy watching. 

“Did you want dessert?” Though Charlie’s question would get a ‘yes’ any other night, you had other ideas. 

“No,” You look him in the eye and lower your voice. “But I really don’t want our date to end yet.”

“Then what do you suggest we do Angel?” Charlie, oblivious as ever asks you.

“I think we should get the check and head to the car, I think I saw an ice cream parlor.”

Charlie picks up the check and you don’t even pretend to reach for it, he’d probably smack your hand for real. On the way out you lean into Charlie as he has his arm wrapped around your shoulder. When you get to the car you see Charlie reach for your door but you stop him. 

“What's wrong?” Charlie immediately questions when you grab his hand. 

“Nothing,” You try to find the words to express what you want, so you resort to physical touch. You wrap your arms around the back of his neck. “It’s just you look so good tonight, and I wanted to…” Your eyes trail to the backseat and back to him. 

“Angel, that’s illegal.” His words were chastising you but you knew with a little convincing he’d cave. 

“And who exactly is gonna arrest you Chief Swan?” After your declaration, you trail kisses up & down his neck. Charlie's knees almost buck from the feeling of your soft lips all over his neck. When you pull back he follows you to the back door of the cruiser. 

“Alright but absolutely no sex.” His finger pointing at you tells you he means business. He pulls out his key to unlock the back door.

“Of course Chief Swan.” You give him a peck before climbing in the backseat, Charlie opts to wait. He checks the area to make sure there’s no one to potentially catch you two.

When Charlie meets you in the back you waste no time straddling his lap. His hands are glued to your sides, while his head leans against the headrest. Your hands feel all over his chest like they’ve been itching to do all night. Charlie initiates the kiss this time, his lips languidly moving with yours. Your hips begin to move on their own, desperately rubbing against the growing bulge in Charlie’s pants. 

The feeling of Charlie’s tongue licking at your lips had you moaning into his mouth. He swallowed every sound you made and helped you rub yourself on him. He truly can’t believe he’s dry-humping in the backseat as if he was a horny teenager again. Charlie’s hands slip under your dress so he can cup your ass, skin to skin. He knows he said no sex but the way you grind on him has him seeing stars. 

One of Charlie’s hands slides to the front of your panties, rubbing you through the fabric. You break the kiss to throw your head back in bliss. Charlie takes the opportunity to bring his mouth to your neck, licking and sucking until he finds your sweet spot. He knows he’s got it when your hips stutter their steady motion against his crotch. 

“That feel good baby?” Charlie being a dirty talker was not on your bingo card. “You gotta tell me or I’ll stop.” He gently nips at your neck, prodding you.

“Yes,” You breathlessly let out. “Please don’t stop, don’t stop.” Charlie takes great satisfaction in you begging him. 

“You gonna let me slide in that pretty pussy?” His words awaken the memory of you not shaving your vagina before, in hopes of staying out of this situation. 

“I didn’t shave or prep for this actually,” You slightly pull away thinking he’ll want to stop. 

“That’s even better Angel,” His response has your eyes widening before he finishes. “I’m a grown man and I prefer my women to look that way too.” 

After his revelation, you go straight for his belt and zipper. You slowly unzip his jeans before reaching in to pull out his cock. You’re pleasantly surprised to find him fully hard and leaking. You swipe the pre-cum off his tip with your thumb to taste, the look he gives you has your pussy throbbing. He can’t contain his groans when you slide him back and forth between your wet pussy lips. Your poor panties have stretched to the limit. 

Once you’re satisfied with him being putty in your hands you line up his cock to your entrance. You look him in the eyes as you slide down on him, both of you gasping as you take him. Rocking your hips on him feels so much better, the stretch he gives you makes your eyes roll back in bliss. Your hands grip his shoulders to maintain your balance, while he circles back to your clit.

Charlie has you wildly bucking against him when he finds your spot again. Your walls clench harder with every circle he makes. His other hand snakes up to the back of your neck, cradling it. The mesmerizing sight of your tits bouncing as you rode him made his balls clench. Charlie felt your pussy leaking all over his lap, he loves it. From this point on he knows he’s not gonna be able to get enough of you. 

“That’s it baby,” His words bring you closer and closer to the edge. “That’s my good girl huh?”

“Yes yes, I’m your good girl.” You could not care less how desperate you sounded. All that mattered was the way Charlie’s cock rubbed against your walls and his thumb expertly moved in circles over your clit. The only thing on your mind was chasing your orgasm. The squelching and pants filling the car only spur you on in your quest. 

Almost as if he could sense it Charlie smashes his mouth against yours right before the chord in your belly snaps. Your body is no longer yours, instead moving only on primal urges. The flips in your stomach die down slowly, like a beautiful decrescendo. He soaks in all the noises you make, both for his pleasure and to make sure you don’t get caught. The feeling of you cumming around him has him fucking up into you while you ride your high. 

You feel the tell-tale twitch of his cock before you feel him release inside you, painting your walls with his cum. The heavy breathing coming from you two signals you won’t move for a while. His neck becomes a place of solace for you, his heart rate steadily coming down from your activities. Hands rub lovingly around your back, almost putting you to sleep. 

“You know I wouldn’t mind ice cream.” You mumble into his neck.

“Whatever you want Angel.” Charlie’s low timbre soothes you.

Charlie makes the first move to get up, he tucks himself back in and gently moves you to his side before getting out. He opens the front door and comes back with some wet wipes he had in the glove compartment. Once you’re all cleaned up he works to coax you out of the back and into the front. You are knocked out as soon as he closes the door behind you.

Throughout the drive home, Charlie steals glances at you thinking he must be in some kind of dream. You are something else. Never in his adult years had he done something so reckless, but he would be lying if he said he wouldn’t do it again. 

When you wake Charlie is just turning off the car, you reach out to run your finger through his hair. He leans into your touch before presenting you with a Dairy Queen blizzard.

“Cheif Swan, you are so thoughtful.” You can’t help but pinch his cheek before you kiss him. He simply hums at you in return, but the look in his eyes tells you all you need to know. 

“C’mon let’s get you inside.” Ever the gentleman Charlie walks you to the door, leaning against the brick. 

“When’s our second date? And third?” The laugh that escapes Charlie causes you to follow suit.

“How about next Friday? After work we could go see a movie.” He watches as you smile brightly at him, leaning down to plant one last kiss on you. “Night Angel.”

“Goodnight Charlie.” He waits for you to go inside and doesn’t head back to the car until he hears the lock click into place. 

[satrs]

i just read the cliche post and like- DAMNNNNNN

But now isagi's part got me thinking what if, milf reader??? VEKFBKSNS please i just wanna be this hot ass mom who has teens drooling on her, i dONT HAVE ANY SCENARIO IN MIND BUT PLEASEE i am begging fr

AHHHH OMG YOUR MIND!!! VSKDKXKX THANK YOU FOR THIS!!!

ＭＩＬＦ!?

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ; ɢᴜʏꜱ ᴡʜᴏ ɪ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴀʀᴇ ᴍɪʟꜰ ʟᴏᴠᴇʀꜱ!

ꜰᴇᴀᴛᴜʀɪɴɢ; Isagi Yoichi. Itoshi Sae. Shidou Ryusei. Nagi Seishiro. Otoya Eita.

Tags; Age gap(they're in their early 20's, reader in her late 30's). mention of kids. breeding kink. creampie. nicknames(good boy, ma', mommy, baby). some subby guyss

ᴀʟʟ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀꜱ ᴀʀᴇ 18+!!! // ɴᴏᴛ ᴘʀᴏᴏꜰʀᴇᴀᴅ

ISAGI YOICHI.

I just knowww he's a sucker for hot MILFs ♡

He loves everything about them! He loves how they are so mature and how they're so experienced in sex life!

And you are no exception. He was always looking forward to seeing you, feeling the urge to take care of you after you had another stressful day with work and your kids :(

You jumped up and down, rocking your hips at a tantalizing speed, leaving him comepletely pussydrunk.

"Yes baby fuckkk, use me." Your aching heat clenched at his words. He was the best. Letting you use him as you pleased, getting rid of

all the stress you had throughout the day.

He threw is head back, adams apple throbbing as your rythm increased, his hands flying to take a hold of your asscheeks. "Yesyesyes, fuck!", he groaned, to lost over the feeling of you around him, subconsiously thursting his hips up into yours, causing you to moan out his name.

No man was ever able to please you like this young man did, always tending to all your needs.

ITOSHI SAE.

Hear me out. I think he would really enjoy himself a nice milf.

It’s just something about you that makes his cock stir in his pants, probably the fact that you were so ridiculously beautiful, aging like fine wine.

He loves and worshippes every single part of your body, from your pregnancy strechmarks to your amazing thighs. And he never failed to let you know how beautiful you were.

"God.", you sighed out, hand threading into his red locs. "Don't stop Sae, oh shit!" You moans caused the man to groan into your aching heat, hands firmly griping your thighs, holding you in place, wide open for his mouth to devour.

Your legs started to lock around his head, almost robbing his breath. But he didn't mind. Hell, he would die a happy man if he were to die being suffocated by your elegant thighs.

It barely took you one more flick of his tongue to succumb to him, legs shaking at the hard impact of your orgasm. He lapped up your juices, overstimulating you in the process.

"Fuck, I could do this all day."

SHIDOU RYUSEI.

He is literally obsessed with MILFs idc.

Would do ANYTHING for a gorgeous woman like yourself.

Suck your sore titties? Done. Feed your baby because you’re so exhausted? Already finished. Fucking your brains out while your child is at daycare? Oh, he loves that.

He always tells you how he would love to have kids with you himself, knowing they would be beautiful given to your genetics.

„Yeah? You like that ma‘? I know you do.“

Whines and whimpers escaped your plumb lips, his cock drilling in and out of you from behind at an rapid pace.

„Yes Ryusei! I love it, love it!“ you slurred put incoherent words of praise into the pillow, causing the mans chest to swell with pride.

„I‘ll fill you up so good, make you a mommy again. Whatcha say?“

You whined at that, back arching even further and the image of him filling you to the brim with his juice heavy in your mind.

Maybe another child would be nice, right?

NAGI SEISHIRO.

Loves them bc he is so lazy urgh

You just take such great care of him, not letting him lift a finger and you never complain about him ever.

And to top it all of, you were so incredibly sexy, he couldn’t wrap his mind around it.

He just feels like being in heaven when he rings at your doorbell late at night when your kid is asleep, begging you to take care of him :(

„You’re such a good boy you know that right, Sei'?“ you questioned while your slim fingers stroked his throbbing cock.

„Mhmm, yes mommy. Such a good boy for you. Only you“ he whined, dangerously close to his orgasm.

„Well then“, you began, pace of your hand increasing, stimulating his sensitive tip with your tumb, „prove it to me and cum, babyboy.“

He was a slave to you and your words, immediately cumming all over your hand and his pelvis.

Whispers of thanks spilled from his lips, „Thank you so much mommy.“

OTOYA EITA.

MILF hunter🤷🏽‍♀️

Being a single mom is not for the weak, causing you to sometimes be more dominant with the people around you.

He just loves when you put him into him place, calming him down from his prideful behavior

Acting like a careless and heartbreaking playboy? Nah, not around your watch.

"So good, you feel so good", eita commented, dick silding in and out of your squeezed together thighs. "Mhm? think you deserve to be inside of me?", you inquired in a teasing manner, smirk adoring your lips at his ragged breathing.

He didn't say anything, already knowing the answer. "That's what I thought. Next time, you better not act out of line again, hm?"

Even though he was on top of you, you were the one in control. Always.

He nodded, completely falling under our spell, enjoying the feeling of your plush thighs around his aroused length.

ᵃˡˡ ᶜᵒⁿᵗᵉⁿᵗ ᵇᵉˡᵒⁿᵍˢ ᵗᵒ k-azus.°

[eatmangoesnekkid]

Belly Dance Observations Week 4

I am now going on record to state that belly dance is an essential ingredient for every female body interested in accessing its innate divine feminine power in a more accelerated journey. What I noticed this week was that my breasts have reverted back to their 20 year old texture. But it’s not about the aesthetics —they are lovely don’t get me wrong, but I'm 47 and not looking for my 20 year breasts...it is just what happened naturally. What enlivens me, what lights up my eyes and dilates my blood vessels, is that I have accessed another portal to tapping into larger untapped kinetic potential (energy, mystery, and freedom) held in the female body. More inner sunlight!

Speaking to another dance student in my class —a 60 year old body-aware ex-ballerina, she shared how she felt the same way when she first started and continues to feel that heightened radiance after each class. I get it though! The hips, spine, and belly hold power that fuels our entire ecosystem. They are the sunlight currency systems! Because I’m a pole dancer, a building/strengthening and flexibility-inducing sexy art, I felt the clarion call to nurture my center of reality with more fluidity and yin, to soften my belly and hips sort of speak. A soft belly with strong flexible legs means that the body is receiving an abundance of earth and water energy from the ground, the earth. Water and earth energy create a strong healthy lubricated female body wellspring. A lubricated female body is actually pulsing with the universe, which isn't about sex, as lovely and delicious as heart-connected sex can be. It is about creation. The creation of new narratives. The shimmies, hip drops, and belly shakes/pumps heat up or activate kundalini to help clear densely-blocked channels in our bellies from unresolved emotions in this recent life and past lives and the detached depression we continue to carry from our foremothers/forefathers trying to navigate inhumane, insanity, predatory Western systems, AND the repression from violence against our grandmothers and the accompanying terror of living in a female body throughout lifetimes.

Whew chile! No wonder so many of us behave out of alignment with our highest potential. But the beauty is that we are shifts and plot twists in our grandmothers' narratives. We have the opportunity NOW to heal in ways that our beloved grandmothers didn't have the opportunity to. Couple that with the fact that if we had a rough childhood, we must process those suppressed emotions throughout our bodies—loosen the shit up so that they can decalcify and be transmuted into more space and love that opens the way to making NEW CHOICES and IMPLEMENTING NEW HABITS🕊️! If you are highly-sensitive and empathetic like I am as well and have been working to open up your heart—to increase your frequency/magnetism through accessing more of your heart space, belly dance (or some other passionate movement like belly self-massages or other belly/hip grabbing, ass-gripping, and spine-undulating, deep-breathing touch during lovemaking) is essential and completely non-negotiable. Hot damn!

My teacher asked the other day how old I was. And she had to sit down in a chair in disbelief when I told her. I live a regenerative life and am always discovering new ways this body my soul essence lives inside of can come alive so that I share the discoveries with other women and non-binary people. I am sooooo in love with belly dance! If you are not resourced enough to get to a class, go to YouTube and find tutorials there. Play around there with moving your belly, back and hips in 4-dimensional ways. Trance out with it.

Such a big part of what I believe my role as a woman/myth being is to bequeath other women with the wisdom to navigate this human existence, to land fully in their bodies in this incarnation, and know in deepest sense that all of us is worthy and welcomed. We get to be in relationship with our bodies and all the feels-- from deep love to deep anger to sadness to pristine ecstasy. To feel them and let them run/drip/leak/undulate and be seen/felt in them and sometimes go deeply into what’s underneath when desired. In my last class, I cried for some unknown reason. It was incredibly liberating to just let it flow and move on.

Sometimes what I witness happen with women is that when we start feel our denser suppressed emotions like anger or rage, we stay in them for years....unconsciously-- without awareness, creating other calcifications like fibriods or tumors from either being easily triggered by the external world, not detoxifying and moving enough through our processes, or of course, never accessing what has been suppressed. And I get it too--it's a lot happening all at once and it can be a tough game to play . But this is the times we are living in and sometimes it's just hard so learn to be okay with life being hard while also keenly aware that it doesn’t always have to be. We have to be lovers again. A lover state of being is essential for our bodies' highest harmonies. But we also must be a bit like martial arts and warriors. Capoeira-style in the shape of belly dancers. We have to be here for all of it.

With feeling, also *practice* feeling the emotions that may be less natural for you to feel right now like joy, gratitude, appreciation, tenderness, ecstasy, softness, sweetness, relaxation, and serenity. Normalize these states so that your body receives neurotransmitters, endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin that help to nourish and repair it. Rest, hike, touching, kissing, really good sex, good nourishing food, healthy relationships, laughter, limiting social media/tv, creativity/finishing projects, good music, and of course dance. As you release and open, you may find yourself rarely usurping emotions like "anger." Not that anything is bad/wrong about the very useful emotion of anger but when you consciously create your life, the more fulfilled you become, the less necessary the energy of anger becomes for you in how you process or experience life. But if ever needed again, you know how to access your anger, embrace it, and hold yourself in it by feeling it into a warm flow.

[kjmsupremacist]

something sweet, a peach tree (mark/jaehyun)

Mark begins the summer after his junior year with an unpaid internship and no other plans. But when he agrees to go pick his baby niece up from her music lessons, her teacher, Jeong Jaehyun, catches his eye. Too bad he’s off limits, and not just because Mark’s niece is involved. Jaehyun is 41 to Mark’s 20.

To sate his curiosity about older men, Mark decides to look into becoming a sugar baby. He could use the money, after all. And he seems to find a willing patron right away. But for the first time in Mark’s like, he finds he might be in over his head.

Chapter 7   |  prev   next   mlist

Characters: Mark, Jaehyun, other members of nct throughout

Genre: romance, angst, smut, age gap, sugar daddy!au

Pairing: Mark/Jaehyun

Warnings: AGE GAP (older jaehyun, younger mark), semi-public sex/voyeurism

Rating: Explicit

Length: 7.9k

James schedules his trip with Annie as planned, so from Saturday morning to Sunday evening, Mark will have his hands full looking after Lucy. Jaehyun offers to pick some dinner up for them and then come get him from work on Friday so they can have a nice night in together, which Mark happily accepts.

He’s staunchly repressing the weird feelings from last week, but unfortunately they don’t just go nowhere. The, uh, other feelings he’s had for Jaehyun since the beginning remain, and compound now with everything else channeling into one avenue. He’s been, like, obnoxiously horny for the better part of this week, maybe also because he and Jaehyun only fucked once, that Saturday afternoon, last weekend. Anyway, he’s very glad Jaehyun suggested this, because he doesn’t want to deal with that when he’s supposed to be babysitting his niece. 

So he already has a plan when he gets into Jaehyun’s car that afternoon. And it helps that Jaehyun’s in a plain white tank top and soft shorts that ride up his thighs. How could Mark be expected to resist? 

He waits until they’re a respectable distance away from his office building. He slips his hand over the console to rest innocently on Jaehyun’s exposed thigh. If Jaehyun suspects anything, he doesn’t react. It’s only when Mark’s fingers inch closer and closer to where Jaehyun’s cock is lying soft under the fabric of his shorts that Jaehyun raises an eyebrow at him and asks, calmly, “Can I help you?”

Mark glances at him. “Just missed you, that’s all. Been missing you all week,” he says. “I can stop if you want.”

Jaehyun presses his lips together, clearly trying and failing to hide his amusement. “I didn’t say that.”

Mark wraps his hand around Jaehyun’s cock and squeezes. Jaehyun inhales sharply but doesn’t even blink. “Good.” He begins to stroke, slow so the fabric doesn’t chafe. “Just keep driving, hyung. I’ll take care of you. See if you can make it home.”

“Fuck, Mark,” Jaehyun mutters, but he keeps his eyes on the road.

It takes a few blocks before Mark feels a wet patch of precome leak through the fabric under his fingers. “You’re making such a mess, hyung,” he teases, but Jaehyun just makes a soft noise and bucks his hips up into Mark’s palm. “Do you want it faster?”

“Mm-hm,” Jaehyun hums tightly. Mark smirks to himself, even though he’s getting hard, too, just watching Jaehyun.

“I dunno if you can make it home,” he says, speeding up his hand anyway. “I know you, you don’t come unless you’re with me, so you’re all pent up, right?” Jaehyun's silence is answer enough. “You’re already so hard.” And he is, hard and hot, the heat of it obvious even through his shorts. 

They’re out of the city now, heading up a hill towards Jaehyun’s neighborhood. Mark keeps stroking, even when Jaehyun’s hands start to tremble at the wheel. There’s less danger of them crashing here, which Mark is vaguely anxious about somewhere in the back of his brain. If they need to stop, they can just stop. They’re the only people on the road now that they’re out of the downtown traffic. 

“Close, baby, ‘m close,” Jaehyun warns softly.

“We’re only a couple blocks away,” Mark teases, but he’s now made it his mission to make Jaehyun come in his pants. He leans closer, pressing his lips to Jaehyun’s bare shoulder. Jaehyun shivers. “So pretty, hyung. It’s almost worse if you come now than when we were in traffic downtown. What if one of your neighbors sees?” The streets are empty and quiet, but Mark watches the idea bloom in Jaehyun’s mind and send shivers down his back. 

“Fuck,” Jaehyun grits out, slowing for a stop sign. Mark can tell he kind of wants to just blast right through it, but Jaehyun is responsible, so he stops. And he doesn’t go. His grip on the wheel tightens. He bends over himself, panting, forehead grazing the top of the steering wheel, abdomen working helplessly, and then he comes with a broken cry, spilling hot release in his pants.

Mark strokes him through it, humming encouragement, until he’s empty. Some of the come has leaked through the fabric; Mark brings his hand to his mouth to clean it off.

“Jesus Christ,” Jaehyun mutters, finally easing his foot off the brake. 

“Almost!” Mark says cheerfully.

“You’re literally evil,” Jaehyun replies, voice hoarse. 

“What, you’re saying you didn’t like it?” Mark asks, only a little worried that he really didn’t.

Jaehyun gives him an exasperated look, but there’s a fondness underneath it that he can’t mask. “I’m not saying that,” he grumbles as he pulls into his driveway, and Mark laughs.

Jaehyun leaves Mark to set up their dinner out on the patio while he goes to find a change of clothes. It does amuse Mark endlessly, but it hasn’t done anything to ease his own troubles. Even though it takes a good few minutes for Jaehyun to join him, Mark’s slacks still feel tight by the time he sits down at the table. Hopefully, his behavior will earn him some form of retaliation after they’re done eating.

But Jaehyun returns to the patio calm and poised, and they have a completely respectable dinner. They take a dip in the pool after, but Jaehyun keeps himself politely out of Mark’s reach. Confused now and a little intrigued, Mark lets him play his game, wondering what his end goal is.

“You know,” Jaehyun says, as he pulls himself up out of the water. “I still haven’t seen your place. Still think the doorman is spying for your brother?”

“Oh,” Mark says, a little startled. He supposes now is as good a time as any—it’ll be far less suspicious for Jaehyun to stay for an hour or two than overnight, and normally they wouldn’t want to waste the time. But since Jaehyun has to take Mark back tonight anyway, it’s more worth it. And the summer’s going to be over soon, and Mark can’t bring Jaehyun back when his friends move in. He thinks about his apartment, the places he could fuck Jaehyun. In front of the windows, if they kept the lights off. It would be better than Jaehyun’s car or backyard. Right up against the door, where anyone walking by would hear them. In Mark’s bed, where he came thinking of Jaehyun just the night before. “It’s, um, it’s a little messy,” he warns, which is true.

“We don’t have to,” Jaehyun says. He’s honest; there’s a touch of uncertainty under his tone that Mark takes to mean he’s afraid of making Mark uncomfortable. It’s sweet. “I just… wanted to see. More of you.”

Mark smiles, feeling pleased and a little shy. “Okay,” he agrees, clambering out of the pool and accepting the towel Jaehyun offers him. 

They get dried off. Jaehyun lets the dogs out while Mark sneaks upstairs to steal some comfy clothes for the car ride home, then returns to the kitchen to clean up their dishes and file them neatly into the dishwasher. Their forks go in the second-to-back section of the utensil organizer. Mark knows Jaehyun’s system better than his own.

“Those my sweats?” Jaehyun asks when he joins Mark in the entryway.

“Mm,” Mark confirms without raising his head, intent on lacing his shoes. “Didn’t feel like putting my work pants back on.”

“Just checking,” Jaehyun replies, the smile clear in his voice even though Mark can’t see it. “Ready?”

“Yeah.” Mark follows Jaehyun out the garage door.

It’s early, still, the sun not even dipping low enough to cast a golden shine over the street. It’s thinking about setting, though; the days are getting shorter, and Mark knows that soon the world will be night-dark at this time. But for now, the light is bright and clear and catches in Jaehyun’s hair. Mark watches him as he drives, wondering when he’ll start to grey. He wants to see it. He thinks he’d like it. 

Jaehyun doesn’t touch him. Mark half-expected him to; maybe it was wishful, horny thinking. Jaehyun has a lot more restraint than Mark does, and he’s more creative in his patience. Simple retaliation isn’t really his style. Mark should’ve known that, but he still feels disappointed and, as a result, hopelessly turned on as they accelerate on the expressway.

The sun glitters over the lake, sparkling off buildings. Little boats dot the water; Mark thinks he spots a long, skinny rowing shell on the far side near the shore, trailing a little coach’s launch. Wakes from the bigger pleasure yachts streak white on blue.

“Summer’s almost gone,” he says quietly. 

“School soon,” Jaehyun agrees. “Think you’re ready?”

For school? Certainly. For everything else? Mark looks at Jaehyun out of the corner of his eye. He hasn’t said anything to make Mark think he’ll be done with him once classes start up, but they both know it’ll be different. “Kinda,” Mark says. “It’s my last year, and then… I dunno.”

“You have a while to think about it,” Jaehyun says sympathetically.

Mark doesn’t want to think about it. He wants to fuck Jaehyun ‘til they’re both sore and aching and boneless in their exhaustion and Mark doesn’t have the energy to even imagine tomorrow, or the next hour, let alone next year. If he doesn’t think about it, maybe it won’t come. It’s not an elegant solution, but it is a satisfying one. For now.

“Mm,” he says instead.

“Graduating can be scary.” Jaehyun’s tone is still sweet, placating. “I was scared.”

“I’m not,” Mark says. “I’m not scared of graduating. I just don’t like the not knowing. It’s like when I was waiting for my college decisions. I knew I’d get in somewhere. But I didn’t know where. It didn’t scare me. It just sat under my skin, like, I dunno. An itch I couldn’t reach.”

“Well, don’t rush into the future too fast,” Jaehyun says. He turns onto Mark’s street. “You’ll miss this time before you know it.”

I’m missing it already, Mark thinks. That’s the problem. He’s gearing up to say goodbye, and he almost wishes it was already all over, so he could grieve it in peace, with undivided attention. 

Jaehyun pulls into a guest parking spot. Mark gathers his things. They head into the lobby. No one bats an eye. 

“You said your friend’s parents own the building?” Jaehyun asks.

“Yeah, no way I’d afford it otherwise,” Mark replies. “A studio in the city with a nice view? Forget student loans, I’d be in debt to management well into my next life.”

Jaehyun laughs. “Could get yourself a real sugar daddy to pay it off.”

“Shut up,” Mark mutters, his skin hot.

He unlocks his apartment, letting Jaehyun in and re-locking it behind them. Jaehyun politely ignores the pile of laundry on one chair and the crumbs on the counter, instead strolling over to the windows to admire the view. “Beautiful windows. You can see the Space Needle!”

“Can fuck you up against them later, when it gets dark,” Mark offers, grinning when Jaehyun flashes him a mildly scandalized look. “What?”

“Is that what you think about when you look out them?”

“Lately, yeah,” Mark says with an offensively casual shrug, tossing his slacks onto the laundry chair. “Bed?”

“Not gonna give me a tour?” Jaehyun asks, a sort of glint in his eye that tells Mark his retaliation has finally come.

“You’re standing in the foyer, kitchen, living room, and laundry all at once,” Mark says drily. “Bathroom is behind that door and my bed is in the corner with a curtain over the opening, which is the only reason this isn’t also the bedroom. C’mon, hyung, we both know you didn’t come here just to see how I live.”

“But I do want to see.” Jaehyun flops down on the couch, still looking around. 

“I’m drawing the shades, then,” Mark says, moving to the windows. “Sun’s about to get real annoying, anyway. We can open them back up again when it’s setting.”

Jaehyun doesn’t protest, just watches Mark turn on his strip of neon lights and tug the blackout curtains closed. The room turns deep blue with the sun gone, light enough still to see, but dark enough that Mark has to blink a couple times to get his eyes to adjust. 

He grabs a pillow off the couch, throwing it on the floor between Jaehyun’s feet, and goes to pull his own pants off. 

“No,” Jaehyun says, “leave them on. I don’t want to be the only one who comes in his pants.”

“These are your pants,” Mark points out.

“Mm,” Jaehyun hums, watching him get on his knees anyway. “So I’ll think of you when I wear them.”

“Oh.” Mark’s whole body feels weak suddenly. He runs his hands up Jaehyun’s bare thighs, slipping them under his shorts till he hits his underwear. He kisses his left kneecap. “Okay.”

He finally reaches up and tugs Jaehyun’s pants and underwear down. Jaehyun doesn’t help him, doesn’t touch him, just watches placidly while Mark frees his cock from the fabric and scoots as close as he can, tops of his thighs brushing the bottom of the couch. Mark blinks up at him, maybe for show, maybe to spur him into some kind of action, but Jaehyun is a wall. Before it can turn into a staring contest that Mark will surely lose, he dips his head and wraps his lips around the tip of Jaehyun’s cock.

Jaehyun starts soft, but hardens quickly under Mark’s touch. It’s enough gratification for a little drop of smugness to settle in with Mark’s growing desperation. Because Mark is hard, has been half-hard basically since they first pulled into Jaehyun’s garage. He takes Jaehyun down to the base until he’s choking, and pulls off wetly. Jaehyun’s hips twitch, but his hands remain impassively at his sides. Mark whimpers softly, pressing his tongue to Jaehyun’s slit, licking up the beading precome, hoping to elicit some reaction for all his hard work. Jaehyun lifts his hand to Mark’s hair, but he doesn’t pull. His touch is featherlight, combing through, carefully and slowly working the tangles loose, letting the minutes pass.

But it’s something. Mark bobs his head enthusiastically, humming when Jaehyun gives the tiniest thrust up to meet him. Mark presses his nose to Jaehyun’s pubic bone, breathes in deep. Maybe it’s gross, but he likes the musky, heady scent there, a familiar comfort. He can barely feel the press of Jaehyun’s cock on the back of his throat, or maybe he can feel it but it just doesn’t matter. He swallows around it once, twice, breathes out. A shudder passes through Jaehyun’s body; Mark readjusts his grip on his thighs as pulls off slowly, then pushes back down, keeping his cheeks hollowed. He does it again, and again, keeping his pace even, not fast, but not slow, either. Jaehyun trembles, huffing out tiny moans that make Mark’s head swim. He’s throbbing in his pants, but he can’t get a hand down to reach himself, and he has a feeling Jaehyun doesn’t want him to, anyway. 

“Mark,” Jaehyun whispers, and goes still. Come hits the roof of Mark’s mouth, and Mark realizes, as he lets out a long, trembling breath, that there are tears stinging in his eyes.

Mark swallows all of it down, only pulling off once Jaehyun starts to go soft again in his mouth. He pushes Jaehyun’s tank up to kiss his stomach, tucks him back into his pants, then gets onto unsteady feet. 

“Think the sun’s past the horizon now?” he asks hoarsely, keeping his tone casual.

“One way to find out,” Jaehyun replies, equally casual, pushing himself off the couch.

Mark goes to the kitchen to fill up two glasses of water for them, leaving Jaehyun to pull the shades back. The sun is, in fact, below the horizon now, and it’s painted the whole city a brilliant orange. It washes over the vinyl flooring, turning gray to gold. Jaehyun pads over from the far wall, quiet.

Mark passes one of the waters to him when he’s close enough, taking a sip of the other one. Jaehyun sidles up next to him, facing away from the windows, leaning back against the counter. The dying light shines golden around his silhouette like a full-body halo. He reaches out with his free hand, gets a grip of Mark’s hip and pulls him close. 

Mark grins and kisses him. He hears the clink of the water glass against the counter, and then feels Jaehyun’s other hand on his jaw, his cheek. The hand on his hip shifts center, and lower. Jaehyun cups his cock and gives it a soft squeeze. Mark stutters a moan into his mouth, quiet and whispery. The counter is high enough that no one could see exactly where Jaehyun’s hand is, but one look at their position and the salacious pinch of Mark’s brow would say enough. Then again, no one’s really looking. The next building is far enough away that it doesn’t matter. 

“No underwear?” Jaehyun asks.

“Accidentally took them off with my slacks,” Mark explains impatiently. “Too lazy to put them back on.” He kisses Jaehyun again, really kisses him, pushes his tongue in so he can run it over Jaehyun’s teeth, the points of his canines. 

Jaehyun lets him lick into his mouth, breathing out soft moans of encouragement, but he makes Mark chase his hand instead of just giving him what he wants. 

“Hyung,” Mark mumbles against Jaehyun’s lips, rolling his hips forward into his palm. “More.”

Jaehyun, infuriatingly, keeps his touch light. “Could’ve made me crash today,” he says.

“You would’ve stopped me, before,” Mark replies through gritted teeth. It feels so, so good, to finally have Jaehyun’s hands on him, but it’s not enough. He thinks he might cry, rocking his hips forward even though Jaehyun just follows the movement. He knocks his forehead against Jaehyun’s shoulder and lets Jaehyun pet soothing circles into his spine.

“It’s too bad we can’t actually do something like that, like really in public,” Jaehyun muses. “Too risky. But it’s fun to think about, isn’t it?”

Mark can only groan. He imagines them out at dinner, dressed up so fancy, Mark’s hands in Jaehyun’s lap as they eat. Jaehyun frozen with his fork and knife still in his white-knuckled hands as he comes in his expensive dress pants. The unmistakable stain when he stands. 

Jaehyun takes a firmer grip of Mark through his (Jaehyun’s) sweats. Mark keens softly, letting his mouth drop open and his teeth scrape harmlessly against Jaehyun’s skin, right next to the fabric of his tank top. Mark realizes suddenly that he’s still holding his water, as a drop sloshes over the rim and hits his thumb, but he can’t bring his arm down, can’t move at all, can only rut hopelessly into Jaehyun’s hand. 

“What’re you thinking about, baby boy?” Jaehyun’s voice is pitched low, the rumble echoing in Mark’s ears. 

“Would make you come at dinner with my hands,” Mark pants out. He raises his head, hooks his chin over Jaehyun’s shoulder and stares out the window. He can just make out people moving around in the building across the street. Someone is cooking. A few floors down, people jog on treadmills. And in Mark’s kitchen, in the apartment gifted to him by his friend’s parents, Mark humps an older man’s palm like a desperate teenager.

“And then?” Jaehyun prompts, and Mark remembers dizzily that he was in the middle of a fantasy. 

“When we got up to leave, everyone could see the mess you made,” Mark continues. “And they would be able to see how hard I was, too. No hiding it. Oh, fuck.” Jaehyun wraps his hand around Mark, and even through the fabric Mark can feel the press of his fingertips, can feel Jaehyun’s thumb against his slit. “And then I’d fuck you on the hood of your car, or maybe up against the side, in the parking lot.” He can see it, Jaehyun’s fingers sliding against the roof as Mark fucks into him, the car rocking gently with the force of it. Jaehyun weak-kneed and teary; they wouldn’t have time for a lot of prep. Mark pounding into him as people walked by, uncaring. Jaehyun, dripping with Mark’s come, covered in his own, driving them home. Or maybe they were out to lunch, and Jaehyun drives Mark back to school for his afternoon classes. He imagines waving bye through the passenger window, walking into class with his limbs still orgasm-loose.

“You wanna fuck me where everyone can see?” Jaehyun presses. 

“Yeah,” Mark slurs. “Want people to see what I can do. How I make you feel. How I’d only do it for you.”

“I want it, too,” Jaehyun murmurs. “Gonna come?”

“Uh-huh.” He slumps against Jaehyun, his free hand clutching at the back of Jaehyun’s neck to help hold himself up, shaking. He presses a hot, open-mouthed kiss to the top of Jaehyun’s shoulder as his hips thrust up into Jaehyun’s fist, the fabric of his sweats scratching and pulling with every movement. He locks onto a guy pacing in front of his window across the way, looking over the city with his phone to his ear. He doesn’t see Mark, but Mark pretends he does, pretends he sees him draped over Jaehyun, eyes hazy, hips working behind the counter, Jaehyun’s arm moving in tandem.

He comes so hard he can barely hear himself moaning, his fingers digging into Jaehyun’s neck. “Hyung, fuck, fuck, fuck, Jaehyun.” It spills out without Mark meaning for it to. His come is hot and sticky, trapped against his cock with nowhere to go. He feels himself sliding around against the fabric, which sends another crazy jolt of pleasure through his whole body. “Oh, god,” he says weakly, hips twitching erratically. Jaehyun releases him and he bends over the sink, finally setting his water glass down with an unsteady hand. He blows out a hot breath; it fogs on the stainless steel. 

Jaehyun’s voice bleeds amusement when he asks, “Still wanna fuck me against the windows after the sun goes down?”

“Yes,” Mark spits out immediately. “Fuck, hyung, I didn’t even really think I was an exhibitionist before I met you.”

Jaehyun does laugh now, running a hand down Mark’s back. “Sometimes it depends on the partner,” he says. “Maybe you’ve never had anyone you wanted to show off before me.”

His tone is playful, but it rings true. Mark wants to claim Jaehyun in front of everyone, wants him to be his and his only, forever, wants the whole world to know. “Yeah, maybe,” he huffs quietly, standing up. “I’m gonna rinse off before these stick to me.”

When he comes out of the bathroom, shirtless, with a towel wrapped around his waist, Jaehyun is back on the couch watching the sunset. Mark goes to turn off the lights, plunging them into near-darkness, then joins him wordlessly, curling into his side. 

“Your internship ends next week, right?” Jaehyun says. “And school isn’t for another week after that?” Mark nods. “Y’know how we were talking about the peninsula? What if we spent the week out there?”

Mark sits up. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Jaehyun says, like it’s no big deal. “I mean, I might’ve already booked the cabin. Sunday to Friday. It’s okay if you can’t make it, but—”

Mark kisses him, pins him against the couch and kisses him, smiling big against his lips. “Yes,” he says when he pulls away. “Let’s go.”

“You sure? You don’t have plans with your friends?” Jaehyun asks. 

“Nah, they’re not coming in until the weekend anyway. I can just move next weekend,” Mark says. “And it’ll be nice. To spend the time with you, before I get super busy.”

“If you,” Jaehyun ventures slowly. “You know. If you’ll be too busy with school, that’s okay. I know neither of us really planned for this, so…”

Mark shakes his head. “Shut up,” he says. “I still wanna see you.”

“Okay.” Jaehyun still sounds uncertain, his eyes unreadable in the dying light. “Just, with all your classmates coming back and stuff, I thought maybe… I mean, if there’s someone…”

“There’s no one I want more than you,” Mark says. He’s almost angry at him. Does Jaehyun think Mark could give him up that easily? Would it be easy for Jaehyun? He tries to make light of it, swallowing the weird tension before he can ruin such a nice night. “Besides, Princess and Bobby would miss me.”

Jaehyun’s lips quirk up at the corners. “Alright,” he says. “Just making sure.”

“You’re stupid,” Mark says plainly, leaning in to kiss him again. Jaehyun’s laughter rumbles in his chest; he catches one of Mark’s wrists in his hand and holds it between their bodies, trapping Mark at his side. Mark kisses him fervently, half climbing into his lap. The towel loosens and pools over his thighs, but it doesn’t matter because the sun has sunk so far below the horizon it’s practically gone, leaving the sky with only a faint orange tinge. Mark likes this, too—being naked when Jaehyun is still fully clothed. He rubs himself against Jaehyun’s stomach, the head of his cock bumping their hands. 

“You’re insatiable,” Jaehyun accuses softly. There’s no real accusation to it.

“You’re the one who’s gonna be coming for the third time this evening in just a little bit here,” Mark points out.

“Yeah, and whose idea is that?” Jaehyun releases his wrist in favor of grabbing his hip. He pinches him lightly; it doesn’t hurt, but Mark yelps all the same. Even in the darkness, Mark can see every careful line of Jaehyun’s smile. His heart hammers in his chest. 

“You’re pretty, hyung,” he says breathlessly, and Jaehyun rolls his eyes, tugging Mark into him, arms wrapped around his body. 

“You gotta stop calling me that. It isn’t true.” Mark can picture the pink of the blush that he’s sure has risen to his cheeks. It’s not doing much for Jaehyun’s argument.

“I’d never lie to you,” he says, earning himself a bone-crushing squeeze. He presses a noisy, tickle-y kiss to Jaehyun’s neck, then twists himself free so he can look out the windows.

The orange has faded from the sky. The stars are coming out and the moon hangs over the sliver of lake that Mark can see, its reflection rippling in the wake of the party boats. 

“Think it’s dark enough?” Jaehyun asks.

“Let’s close the curtains a little bit,” Mark says. “Less light from the city. Then all people will see are two silhouettes. They’ll look away pretty quick, and even if they don’t, it’s not like they’ll see our faces.”

They pick the corner the half-faces the water, closing the curtains on the windows that face the other building and the rest of the street. Mark ducks into his room for lube. Jaehyun steps out of his shorts, tossing them over to the couch, and Mark returns to tug his shirt up over his head for him. Jaehyun splays a hand over Mark’s stomach, and it strikes Mark then the comfort he has here. He’s not extremely shy about his body, but he never feels comfortable just walking around topless, or pulling his shirt off when it’s hot out like so many of his friends seem perfectly content to do. It’s not that he’s insecure about how he looks, it’s just a general sort of embarrassment at nudity. But not with Jaehyun. He wants Jaehyun to look, likes it when he touches him, skin against skin. It’s not even really in a sexual way—well, not entirely, anyway.

Jaehyun leans in and kisses him. Mark throws his arms over Jaehyun’s shoulders and kisses back, pressing their bodies together. Jaehyun’s just a little bit taller than him, so his cock slides against Mark’s stomach while Mark’s brushes Jaehyun’s inner thigh. They’re both half-hard again, but neither of them move to do anything about it. They just kiss, body to body, soft skin against soft skin. Mark wants to touch Jaehyun everywhere. He wants to push his fingers against Jaehyun’s soft palate and run his thumbs over his teeth, he wants to open a seam in his belly and crawl inside—

And it sounds insane, but all of this is insane. He’s fucking his niece’s fucking music teacher, who’s just about double his age, who—oh, Christ, who Mark actually really cares about, like maybe way too much. Who most certainly doesn’t feel the same way back. 

Mark bites Jaehyun’s lip, too hard. Maybe because he’s angry. Maybe because his heart hurts. Maybe because he wants Jaehyun to be his and this is the only way he can say it. With blood in his mouth. 

Jaehyun, perfect Jaehyun, doesn’t protest or push away. Jaehyun moans. 

It makes Mark weak; he moans back, sweet and soft and low, swiping his tongue over the swollen lump he’s just made. “Sorry,” he mutters. 

Jaehyun just kisses him again. “It’s okay,” he says. “You like it when I cry.” Another kiss. “How do you want me?”

“Facing the window,” Mark says, trying not to say something else, something stupider. 

Jaehyun presses himself to the glass, head turned so he can still see what Mark is doing. Mark pumps some lube onto his palm and then tosses the bottle aside, taking a small dollop of it onto his index finger and spreading it down to the last knuckle. Jaehyun sticks his ass out a little to make things easier, and Mark groans softly. 

“You look so slutty,” he comments.

Jaehyun tries to look put out, Mark thinks, but it’s not really working because his eyes are dark and unfocused. As much as this was Mark’s idea, he can tell Jaehyun is enjoying it a lot. He grins to himself, pressing the finger against Jaehyun’s perineum, then pushing inside.

Jaehyun’s eyes flutter closed; he clenches around Mark, tight and hot. “Jesus,” Mark mumbles, working his finger in to the base and giving Jaehyun a second to adjust before slowly pulling it back out again. “Wish you could see yourself. But that’s part of it, I guess. Everyone can see you but you."

Jaehyun gasps quietly, but he rocks his hips back to meet Mark’s fingers. It softens something in Mark. For you, Jaehyun is saying. He wouldn’t want this with anybody else. Mark wouldn’t, either, he thinks. 

He opens Jaehyun up pretty quick after that, too eager to get to the fucking to really drag it out. Besides, he’s tortured Jaehyun enough for one day with his antics in the car. Soon, he’s fumbling for the lube again to slick up his cock while Jaehyun catches his breath, fogging the window next to his mouth.

Mark pushes into him, gripping his hips with lube-wet hands, but it doesn’t matter. Jaehyun makes fists against the glass, his cock dripping between his legs. Mark slips in deeper and leans forward to rest his forehead on Jaehyun’s spine. “Hyung,” he manages. “God, still so tight. Is it ‘cause you’re nervous?”

“Maybe a little,” Jaehyun says. “Mostly turned on, though.”

“Good,” Mark says. He bottoms out, waits a beat, draws his hips back. Jaehyun is hot and wet around him, soft walls hugging his cock and making pleasure pool in Mark’s belly. He thrusts in, jostling Jaehyun against the window. In the streets below, bar-goers mill about, waiting at stoplights, watching the moon over the water. Any of them could look up and see two bodies pressed to the glass, body heat making it steam up a little and blocking the view. Mark’s next thrust is so hard it’s almost mean. He can hear Jaehyun’s teeth clack against each other, and does it again. 

“Baby,” Jaehyun says, his breath coming in hiccups. Mark hums, kissing his vertebrae. He moves a hand around Jaehyun’s hips to jerk him off, and Jaehyun convulses beneath him. He’s trying and failing to find some purchase on the smooth face of the window. His scrabbling makes something dark and jealous in Mark’s heart bare its teeth.

“So good, hyung,” he says against his skin. “Anyone who looks should thank you. You’re like a fuckin’ wet dream, you know that?” Jaehyun makes a noise of protest, but it turns into a moan when Mark angles his hips just right. “Fuck, yeah, right there?” He hits it again, and Jaehyun is nodding—Mark can’t see it, but he can feel it, the fervent bobbing of his head, the silent yesyesyes. 

The world sort of stills around him. Or maybe Mark’s mind just slows down. He listens to their bodies moving against each other, and the rapid beating of Jaehyun’s heart. He shifts his other hand up to the glass, crowding Jaehyun impossibly closer until he’s completely trapped, just enough room between his body and the window for Mark’s fist, still stroking him in time with his thrusts. Mark pants openmouthed, the hot breath fanning back onto his cheeks after it hits Jaehyun’s skin. Pleasure sparks down his legs, making his knees shake, but he doesn’t stop. Jaehyun is making noises that make part of Mark want to snap him in half and another part to wrap Jaehyun up in, like, fucking bubble wrap or something, Mark doesn’t know, all he knows is everything feels good, even the way his knuckles bump against the glass, even the way his thighs are getting sore, and–

“Mark, Mark, gonna come,” Jaehyun warns, and Mark makes some kind of low, insane noise in his chest and speeds up. Jaehyun squeaks out something that sounds like oh, fuck, and then he’s shooting come over Mark’s fingers and painting the glass with it. Mark lifts his head, craning his neck so he can see around Jaehyun’s body, can see his come dripping down toward the floor in a porn-perfect splatter. 

It overwhelms him, and he can’t even say anything before he’s coming, too, still thrusting unevenly into Jaehyun’s body. His come mixes with the lube, squelching a little, but even that is hot to Mark. He can’t help the way his hips give little phantom twitches even after he tries to stop, still chasing the high as they both come down.

They stay like that, slumped against the window, Jaehyun’s release the crowning piece of evidence in their fucked up little crime scene. Mark knows it’s almost worse if people see them now, but he still doesn’t care. He’s bone-tired and deeply satisfied with himself. He doesn’t even move when, after he pulls out, he hears his own release dripping out of Jaehyun and hitting his floors. 

It’s Jaehyun who finally peels them off the windows. Jaehyun who cleans up the come dripping down the glass, the spatters on the floor. Jaehyun who gets them in the shower, just enough to get the gross stuff off. Jaehyun who guides Mark to bed and tucks him in. He sits on the edge of the mattress, stroking Mark’s hair while Mark battles sleep. 

“I’ll see you next Thursday at pickup,” Mark mumbles. “I have drinks with coworkers Friday and I need to finish moving Saturday, but I should be done before dinner. We’re gonna head out Sunday morning?”

“Mm-hm,” Jaehyun agrees. “Need any help moving?”

“James ‘s got me,” Mark replies. “It’s okay.”

“Okay.” Jaehyun leans over and kisses his forehead. “Okay if I just lock the bottom lock on my way out?”

“Yeah,” Mark agrees.

“Sleep well, baby.” Jaehyun’s voice moves farther away as he stands. “I already set your alarm.”

Thank you, Mark wants to say. But he’s so tired. He hears Jaehyun give a soft sigh of amusement. Another kiss to his forehead, to send him to sleep. Mark doesn’t even hear Jaehyun close the door.

///

James comes to pick Mark up bright and early, but he has breakfast so Mark doesn’t complain, just hops in the car, shoving his bag in the back.

“Where are you taking Annie?” he asks, taking a bite of his ham and egg croissant. 

“Over to Orcas Island,” James says. “Booked a nice hotel room, fancy dinner, you know. We’re trying to catch the ten o’clock ferry, so we’ll basically have to leave as soon as I drop you off.”

“Have fun,” Mark says around a mouthful of food. 

Lucy is in high spirits when they arrive, giggling with glee over getting to have a sleepover with her Mark-samchon. She clings to Mark’s leg as her parents finish packing up the car. Mark watches his brother and his sister-in-law, the easy way they have with each other. How Annie can hold her hand out and James knows to pass her his bag without a word. The way they don’t bump into each other, not once, in the chaos of packing up their car because they know each other so well, know exactly where the other is at all times and what they’ll do next. Mark tries to imagine him and Jaehyun like this, years down the road, maybe with a child of their own. The image is fuzzy at best. 

Because as much as he and Jaehyun play pretend, what they have isn’t like this. No amount of blankets tucked securely around Mark’s shoulders and kisses pressed to his forehead can change that. Mark is just a passing whim of Jaehyun’s. Jaehyun will, in time, find someone his age, someone more settled, more mature. The warmth of last night seeps away as his brother’s life throws it into sharp contrast. At best, Mark will be a short, beautiful spring in the long years of Jaehyun’s life. Summer will burn through them and autumn will come. The leaves will change, and Jaehyun will have no more use for him. So there’s no point in Mark trying to pursue anything more, because Jaehyun would say no, and even if he didn’t right away, Mark knows eventually he wouldn’t be enough for Jaehyun anymore.

And the worst part is, Mark knows Jaehyun would be right to say no. Because even if they could make it work somehow… then what? Mark probably won’t stay in Seattle, and he certainly can’t settle down right away. Jaehyun won’t just wait for him. He shouldn’t. Mark wouldn’t let him, the same way Jaehyun wouldn’t let Mark shape his life around their relationship. 

He gets that terrible tugging feeling again, like he’s straining against the present. He knows it’s going to hurt when he and Jaehyun have to go their separate ways, and Mark almost wishes they could rush through goodbye so he could stop waiting for it, not knowing how bad it will be or how it will feel. He’ll be miserable, he knows, but at least he’ll know where he stands. It’s not like he’s not hurting now. He might as well get it all over with.

James’ voice pulls him out of it. “We’re gonna head out, okay? Just call if you need anything.”

“Sure,” Mark agrees, still half in his own head. “Have fun!”

“Bye!” Lucy calls, waving madly from the doorway until the car pulls out onto the street and disappears. 

“Well,” Mark says after they close the door, trying to be present with her instead of drowning in his own head. “What d’you wanna do?”

Lucy pulls him into an elaborate game of make believe, where Mark is an evil king and Lucy and her army of stuffed animals work together to take over his kingdom (the couch in the living room). It ends when Mark allows himself to be pulled to the floor and buried under piles of plush ponies and teddy bears, begging for mercy. 

Lucy sits on Mark’s stomach, grinning triumphantly.

“Oof, Luce,” Mark groans, not really meaning it. “You’re gonna be too big to sit on me pretty soon.”

“Not yet though,” she says pertly. “But I wanna grow.”

“Yeah?” Mark can’t hide his amusement.

“Yeah.” Lucy nods seriously, spreading her hand in front of Mark’s face. “Jaehyun-seonsaengnim says I’ll be big enough to play a real piano when I grow more. I’m too small now. But soon.”

“I bet Jaehyun-seonsaengnim is right,” Mark says, regarding her little hand. “You’re outgrowing that little keyboard. It’ll be a while before you can reach the pedals, though.”

“I’ll make Appa press them,” she says, unconcerned. She tips her head. “You and Jaehyun-seonsaengnim are good friends, right?”

Mark starts a little. “Yeah, we’re good friends,” he agrees. “I like him. He’s funny, right?”

Lucy nods. “He thinks you’re funny, too,” she says. “He always smiles when you’re there.”

Mark files that away for Jaehyun later. They better be careful, because it sounds like Lucy is picking up on some things. The last thing he needs is for James to hear from his baby girl that Mark and Jaehyun make eyes at each other every time Mark goes to pick her up. 

Lucy has moved on, though; she stands with purpose, releasing him. “I’m hungry,” she says. “Noodles for dinner?”

The night passes uneventfully. Mark makes Lucy bunny-shaped mac and cheese and gives up on trying to explain that Annie’s is also a brand and doesn’t have anything to do with her mom. They share a popsicle and watch cartoons until Lucy’s eyes are drooping, and Mark carts her off to the bathroom to brush her teeth and give her a quick bath before bed. She’s out like a light as soon as her head hits the pillow, and Mark goes back down to clean up the kitchen and then watch some TV until he gets sleepy too.

Around eleven, as Mark’s just thinking about heading to bed, he gets a text from Jaehyun. He thinks about ignoring it, too sore and raw about the things that are breaking ground inside him, but he knows he can’t punish Jaehyun for things that aren’t his fault. 

>>> How are things?

Good. Lucy didn’t even complain about bedtime. <<<

I think she’s onto us <<<

>>> uh oh. What do you mean?

she’s noticed us joking around at pickup <<<

she asked if we were good friends <<<

>>> Good friends 👀

Is that the first emoji you’ve ever used in your life <<<

>>> I’m not prehistoric, Mark

>>> so what did you say

yes <<<

hopefully not too nervously <<<

>>> I’m sure it’s fine haha

>>> I’ll keep my distance next week just in case

Well, not too far I hope <<<

Mark pockets his phone and stands, stretching before he goes to put himself to bed. He tries to forget all the tough stuff for now, and lulls himself to sleep remembering the way he fucked Jaehyun against his windows. As far as lullabies go, it’s pretty shoddy, but Mark allows himself the bandaid.

The next morning, Lucy comes to wake him up so he can make them breakfast. They race to the kitchen and Mark asks if she’s ever had chocolate chip pancakes. She shakes her head, shiny hair bouncing excitedly, and Mark considers for a moment the damage he may be inflicting on James and Annie before deciding he doesn’t care because it’ll make Lucy love him forever, and goes to get the flour. 

Lucy settles at the breakfast bar while Mark mixes the batter so she can watch (and steal a few chocolate chips out of the bag, which Mark pretends not to see). “So is it true you don’t have a girlfriend?” she asks him as he beats the eggs. “Or boyfriend,” she amends, not-so-sneakily popping another chocolate chip in her mouth.

Mark gives a sort of sigh-laugh, reaching for the vanilla. “I’m too busy, silly! I have school and stuff soon, and then I’m gonna have to look for a job.”

“But,” Lucy protests. “Appa already married Eomma when he was your age.”

“Well,” Mark says patiently. He gets out the big cast-iron griddle and lays it across two burners, then turns the burners on. “Your appa finished school early. Careful of this griddle, ‘kay Luce? It’s gonna get super hot and I don’t want you to burn your hands. It’ll hurt for days and days.” Lucy nods seriously. “Anyway, my brother was lucky enough to meet his person—that’s your eomma—when he was young. Not all of us are that lucky.”

“So… you haven’t found your person yet?” Lucy asks.

Mark thinks of Jaehyun. He shakes his head. “Not yet,” he says, spreading the batter for the first pancakes. “But that’s okay. I think I want to get my career started first, and then see what happens.” He plucks up the bag of chocolate chips before Lucy’s hand can inch any closer. “And don’t think I don’t see you, you little thief. You’d eat the rest of this bag if I let you and then you wouldn’t even get to try the pancakes!”

“No I wouldn’t!” Lucy protests, giggling, but she at least has the decency to look contrite. “I hope I’m like you,” she continues, and Mark blinks. “I don’t wanna get married early. I wanna be a musician like Jaehyun-seonsaengnim and go around the world!”

“I hope you do,” Mark says, smiling at her with genuine amusement. 

When James and Annie get home that evening, they rescue Mark from, like, his twentieth round of Go, Fish. James sits with Mark in the living room, helping him clean up all the toys while Annie allows herself to be accosted by her daughter.

“Did she behave?” James asks.

“Oh, yeah,” Mark says. “You got a good kid, man. I may have introduced her to chocolate chip pancakes, though, so… sorry about that.”

Distantly, from the kitchen, they can hear Lucy asking Annie if they can have chocolate chip pancakes in the morning. James laughs to himself. “Well, that means I get to eat them, too, so I’m not complaining. Ready to head home?”

“Yeah.” Mark gathers his shit and says bye to Annie and Lucy before stepping out onto the porch. The sun is going down, and the heat is receding. Summer really is almost over, he thinks. It comes with a flash of unexpected anxiety.

He hops in the car and James joins him, pulling out onto the street. “Annie was thrilled,” he says before Mark can even ask. “So, thanks again.”

Mark nods. “I mean, I got to hang out with Lucy, so it’s no big deal, but I’m glad it went well,” he replies. With a start, he realizes he still needs to tell James about his peninsula plans. “Oh, I meant to tell you. I’m gonna spend next week out on the peninsula, since my internship is over.”

“By yourself?” James asks.

Mark makes a mental note to text Johnny. “Yeah, I asked my friends, but no one was free. And I know I won’t have time once school starts, so.”

“Just be safe, okay? Mom’d wring my fuckin’ neck if something happened to you,” James says. Mark nods, thinking about all the things Mom would wring both of their fuckin’ necks about if she knew.

“Yeah, I know,” he says. “Sorry for not mentioning it sooner, I just kept forgetting. Annie’ll have to pick Lucy up from music lessons.”

“Actually, I think her teacher is gonna be out of town that week, too,” James says, and Mark pretends like this information surprises him. “So no music lessons. Good timing, really.”

“Good,” Mark says, turning to face the window so James can’t try to read his expression. “That’s good.”

[greazyfloz]

Lovers & Strangers - Chapter 20

Previous

The next morning, I wake up to the sun. We forgot to shut the blinds, so the sun is shining directly into them. With my finger, I start tracing around Mark's chest until he slowly starts to wake up. “ Hey beautiful.” he says in a sleepy voice, “what are you doing up so early?”

“ I don’t know” I say, “ but I really want to kiss you”

Mark looks down at me as I lay on his chest and playfully perks his eyebrows up, “oh yeah?” he says, with a slight chuckle, “well you just woke me up from a pretty good dream I was having”

“ tell me about it“ I say smiling at him

“ well, it does have to do with kissing” he starts, “ I was kissing a super hot girl and-“ he continues but I interrupt him hitting his chest, making him laugh. 

“ hey!”

“ hey what? You didn’t let me finish” he says, smirking down at me, “ anyway as I was kissing her, and I suddenly feel someone rubbing a finger all over my chest, realizing I was actually sleeping”

“ how sad you must’ve been” I say to him, squinting my eyes

“ Quite the opposite, I got to see the super hot girl again but in the flesh” he starts, then leans down a little so I can lift my head and press my lips to his, “ now I get to actually kiss the super hot girl” he says into the kiss, making me laugh on his lips. I bring myself up a little more so I can deepen the kiss as it becomes a make out.

We get interrupted when we hear a knock on the door. I throw myself off of Mark, so I’m now laying beside him right in time for the door to open. A nurse walks in and checks my machine and asks me if I need any water. She tells me she’s going to bring breakfast soon and that visiting starts in about a half hour. She also lets me know that Dr. Hayes will be in, in about an hour.

When the nurse leaves, Mark and I both start laughing. I stop laughing and look up at him and he looks down at me realizing I stop laughing and just smiles waiting for me to say what’s on my mind.

“ I really want you to fuck me Mark” I say to him as I watch him gulp

“ babe, we can’t right now” he says to me, I can tell he really wants to though, “ plus if you’re not comfortable, I’m not comfortable”

“ I want to try again tonight because I wanna have sex with my boyfriend” I say to Mark, as I watch the grin stretch across and his cheeks turn a blushy red

“ boyfriend, huh?”

“ well, I heard through the grapevine that that’s how you label yourself” I tell him

“ I thought anything I told a psychiatrist was supposed to be mine and her little secret“

“Yeah not that kinda stuff” I laugh

I lifted my knee and placed it on top of Mark's hip. Mark wraps his arm around me, bringing me close as we cuddle for the rest of the morning.

A little over an hour later,  Dr. Hayes walks in with a nurse following while I sit in the room with Mark and my parents. Everyone takes a sit as they make their way into the room. It was still quite early so Ethan still wasn’t here yet and my parents came as soon as visiting hours started so Mark wouldn’t have to leave. 

“How was your night?” Dr.Hayes smile at me

“Boring” I say and she chuckles, “it was fine”

“That’s better than bad” she says before opening her book. “This is Georgia, she is a nurse on the psychiatric unit here at the hospital”

I look over at Mark who sits on the chair beside my bed. Fear rippling through my eyes. He reaches up and rubs my arm to comfort me as I look back to Dr.Hayes.

“We discussed late last night and early this morning and came up with an early diagnosis and two recommendations. Throughout the assessment you displayed many signs of Acute Stress Disorder, through your inability to remember traumatic events, inability of allowing yourself to feel positive emotions, and overall anxiety from Friday nights events. ASD is a pathway disorder to PTSD, when these symptoms continue they tend to get worse and worse. It’s best to treat them right away as you could possibly have PTSD from this trauma. Mixed with what your family and friends have said about your recent behaviour and the recent change, there could be other underlying mental health disorders you may be facing. I’m unable to tell right now but that leads to my first recommendation.”

“You’re locking me up” I say 

“Y/n.” My mother warns me

“No, not locking you up exactly.” Dr Hayes starts, “we believe that monitoring you and your behaviour would be best as one part of our conversation alarmed me a little bit. But that is only our first recommendation, the second would be one more night here then visits with a substance abuse counselor and seeing a psychiatrist. Counseling would be daily for the first week, and then 4 times a week for the week, then once a week if all goes well. You’d have to see a Psychiatrist 3 times the first week and then once a week the rest of the month after. All of those were just ball park days, it could change based on how well you respond”

“If she chose the first option, how long would she be here for?” My mother asks

“Based on her assessment, I would say for sure until Thursday, and then it would go day by day after. Of course only if all goes well” 

“Well I have to write exams so definitely not the first option, and I can’t do the second option either because I’m going home after my exams” I say resisting

“Babe-“ Mark says softly as he tries to get my attention

“No Mark” I say looking at him for a second then looking back, “I promise I’m fine”

“Y/n. You are not fine!” My mother says loudly at me from across the room.

“I’ll let you all discuss and think about this and I’ll come by later” Dr Hayes says then leaves the room filled by the nurse.

As soon as the door shuts behind her my mother comes up to the other side of the bed. I look other at Mark and he takes the hint that my mother may want to speak to me alone. He lets go of my arm and stands before leaning down and pressing a kiss on my forehead then leaves the room. 

My mother and father then basically cry and tell me they had no idea any of this was happening and that they want me to get better and blah blah blah. I told them to let me think about it and they finally laid off a bit. 

I sent my mother off to go get Mark and she quickly returned with both boys. “Hi” Ethan says, smiling as he approaches me.

“Hey” I say as he comes closer to lean in to give me a hug. I hug him back and can see a visibly uncomfortable Mark watching us hug. He plunged his hands in his pockets and looked away slightly as Ethan pulled away from me.

“When you getting out of here?” Ethan asks

“Never” I told him, throwing my head back into the pillow. Ethan looks over at my mother thinking maybe he shouldn’t have asked that and she just shook her head at him.

“She will be out as soon as she is better” My mother then says. 

We all chat for a bit and I see Mark stand while looking at his phone. He has that body language that reads they are intending on leaving soon, so I turn my attention away from the conversation I was having with Ethan to Mark. Mark notices me looking up at him and puts his phone in his pocket before making his way on the other side of the bed. He sits down on the bed and smiles down at me, “I’m going to go home and finish some papers, but I’ll be back after practice” he says to me before leaning in and kissing the top of my head. “I’ll see you in just a couple hours” Mark says as he stands up, “Cya in a bit Ed” Mark waves at Ethan before leaving. 

“I don’t mean for us to all rush out like this but your father and I are going to go out for a walk, we will catch up to Mark and ask if we can drive him home” my mother says and I just smile as her and my father make their way to the door, “You want me to bring you back anything?”

“No it’s okay, the girls are coming tonight and bringing takeout” 

After my mother and father leave, it’s just Ethan and I. 

“Can we go for a walk around the hospital?” I ask Ethan

“Yeah, sure!” he says standing from the chair. I stand and make my way over to the other side of the room where the bag Mark made for me was. I pull out his shirt and a pair of his sweat pants and bring them back over to the bed. 

“Finally, I get to take this off” I say with a chuckle as I slide the gown sleeves down my arms. Before my body was exposed to Ethan he turned his head. I felt kind of sad watching him turn his head like that, it’s weird that this is going to be the new normal. “Ethan” I say wanting him to look at me, maybe it will relieve the tension or awkwardness. 

“Yeah?” he says not turning as I pull up the pants. 

I roll my eyes not even bothering to answer him as I take the shirt next and throw it on quickly. 

“Okay, I’m dressed” I say, throwing my hair in a ponytail. He turns to me and I watch his smile fade as he sees whose clothes I am wearing. 

“Okay, let’s go” he says, as he begins to walk to the door. I meet him on the way and we walk to the front desk of the unit I am in to let them know I’m just going for a walk. We walk beside each other down the hall and around the hospital. 

“We never really got to talk about what you told me Tuesday” I say quietly to him and he looks at me with a hesitant look on his face

“Uh- yeah. It’s fine though, you’re with Mark I’ll get over it. We will just go back to friends” Ethan says with a forced smile

“I want to talk about it” I say before pulling him over with me to sit on a couch in a windowed alcove along the hall. He sits and takes a deep breath

“I don’t know. It’s weird for me now”

“What is, Me?”

“No! No!” he says quickly, “Mainly just talking about it with-”

“Me” I finish his sentence

“Look I-”

“Since our first kiss Ethan, really? Why did it take you so long to tell me Ethan?” I interrupt him

“Because you didn’t feel the same” he says, “we were stuck around each other no matter what, why would I make things awkward?”

“Well you were wrong” I say to him but looking down at my feet. At the corner of my eye I see Ethan look at me so I look up at him, this time much more teary eyed. “You never showed any kind of interest in me like that. I fell in love with you a long time ago and I’ve tried everyday since, not to”

“Then why Mark?” he says. I couldn’t tell if he was angry, or upset by his expression. I stood up and looked down at Ethan

“Temptation, at first. But now, he just makes me happy. I’m tired of explaining myself about this. I really like him, and I didn’t have to wait around for him”

“If he makes you happy, that’s all that matters” Ethan says standing then letting out a deep breath before hugging me. 

After we pulled away from the hug we started walking back to my room, quickly letting go of the conversation we were having before I explained to him what the doctor told me this morning. When we get back to my room I’m greeted by the girls. 

“Alright, I’m going to head out then” he says to me then looks down at his phone, “I’ll be late if I do stay any longer actually” 

“Are you coming over after?”

“Maybe, if not I’ll come tomorrow after my class”

“Oh, okay”

Ethan leaves the room, and I am now alone with Khloe, savannah, Nicole and Cassidy with the takeout that they brought me from chipotle. I told them about the information I learned today and about what I can remember from the other night. When I get to the Caleb part, I noticed all four girls look around at each other.

“ what?” I asked them.

“ did Mark happen to tell you where he was last night?” Cassidy asked me.

“Well he was here with me, and then he left for a bit to go get clothes for me“

“Yeah, I think he made a pitstop” Khloe said I look at her with and sigh

“I couldn’t sleep last night. so I just fake slept so he would go to sleep, but I felt him leave. I don’t know what time it was, but he was gone for quite a bit. I thought he might’ve been lying about getting clothes. Did he cheat on me?” 

“ quite the opposite“ Nicole says, “the boy almost killed Caleb”

“ he went to the frat house last night…”

“ yeah, Ethan was standing with us when it happened. Ethan went and tried to stop him actually.” Cassidy informed me.

“ oh, yeah, I remember that. He got up and he was like ‘he has a knife’ or something. before making his way over to Mark.” Khloe says.

“and Caleb didn’t try to hurt Mark?”

“that boy didn’t have a chance to even protect himself from Mark. Even when Caleb was down on the ground, Mark did not stop.” savannah said.

I start to feel a little angry. I told told him not to do anything to Caleb. I think they see the expression change, and they quickly change the conversation to something else.

[Mark POV]

Y/n texted me and asked me if I could stop by her place and pick up a few things. A couple of things on her list were a hairbrush, a toothbrush, some underwear, her blanket, some leggings, and a couple of hoodies. She told me that her roommates were home and they knew I was coming so they left the door unlocked.

I get to her house and make my way up the stairs and into her room. I go in her dresser drawer and look around for the clothing that she asked me to get. I go to the closet and open it to find a bag to put all of her stuff in. I find a duffle bag and bring it over to the bed to fill it with the clothes and the blanket on her bed. I grab her book bag and her computer before making my way to the bathroom to get the rest of her stuff.

I opened her drawer in the bathroom and immediately saw them. the pink plus sign was hard to miss. I picked them up and put them on the counter before grabbing her toothbrush, her toothpaste, and her hairbrush, putting them in her duffle bag as well.

I take the two test and put them in my coat pocket before bending down and grabbing her bag and leaving her house to make my way back to the hospital.

When I get to the hospital, I hear laughing coming from the room. Her friends were still there, but I still knocked on the door to grab her attention.

“hey Marky” she says with a smile. I don’t know how I ever could’ve acted like I hated her because right now being as mad as I am at her, I still think she’s the most beautiful girl in the world and I can’t stand the sight of her upset.

“hi” it’s the only thing I could muster up. I put her back down by her bed, “here’s your stuff” I say, backing up towards the door.

“wait, you’re leaving?” She asked me sadly

“ yeah, I mean I’ll come back in a bit” I say

“ No wait Mark we’re leaving” her friend Cassidy says to me that’s all girls stand and start cleaning up around the room.

“come over here, Mark” y/n says to me. I go and sit on the bed beside her. I don’t look down at her. I sit on her bed and watch her friends leave, waving them goodbye.

I finally looked down at y/n and try to hide my anger by forcing a smile. I don’t think it’s working because the look on her face is mixed with sadness and anger. I already know that she knows that I’m mad and I don’t want her to blame herself but I do want answers.. but before I could even ask about the test she was already asking me questions

“where were you actually last night?” she starts

“I told you“

“yeah, I know you told me, but I wanna know the truth”

“the truth?” I chuckle, “ you’re really calling me a liar right now?”

“what’s wrong?” she asks sternly.

“you lied to me” I say, I can no longer read the expression on her face

“about what exactly?” She questions me with a little bit of attitude.

“this” I say, pulling out the two pregnancy test out of my pocket, “when were you gonna tell me about this?“

She shakes her head and dryly, laughs before throwing her hand through her hair. She shakes her head, and I can tell she’s trying not to cry. instead of being sad, I think she’s choosing to be angry

“honestly mark it doesn’t even matter anymore”

“how does it not matter?“ I ask her and she turns to lay on her side, looking out the window, her back facing the door and the side of the bed I’m sitting on, “would you answer my question, I feel like this is something you should’ve told me, especially since you told me last Tuesday that you weren’t pregnant. Actually you showed me last Tuesday that you weren’t”

“Well, I took another one. It turns out I was.” she says still not looking back at me, “ I just found out Friday night, the only person that knew was savannah. I just told Ethan yesterday”

“You told Ethan before me?”

“yeah, I did Mark. You and Ethan both need to get over yourselves. I already told you last Tuesday that if I was pregnant, it was Ethan’s. So yes Mark, I told the father of my now dead baby before I told you” she says, almost aggressively, then turns to look at me finally, but her eyes catch somebody behind me, “mom? Dad? When did you get here?”

I turn and look and watch as her mother disappears into the hallway, and her father follows her. I hear y/n shift in the bed behind me, and I stand up and turn. I watch her, throw her head back into the pillow, then bring both hands up to cover her face.

“Oh Mark” she says, and I can hear her crying in her hands. My heart breaks watching her. I really shouldn’t even be as mad as I showed her she was right. We did talk about it and she did tell me that if she happened to be pregnant it was Ethan’s.

“I didn’t know they were coming tonight” I tell her

“can you ask Ethan to come here?” is all she says back to me

“fine, should I ask him to spend the night with you too?” I say. I instantly regret saying it too. I watch her as she slowly looks up at me from her hands.

“ get the fuck out Mark!” She yells at me and I continue to just stare back at her, “I said, get the fuck out!”

[thenationaltreasuregazette]

Really?? Nicolas Cage and the Art of Weirdness

It’s kind of strange that Nicolas Cage is the star of National Treasure, right? Tame, family-friendly Disney flicks aren’t exactly his brand.

While the casting still strikes me as an odd choice sometimes, I am eternally, supremely, primordially grateful that he took the role of Ben Gates.

As I touched on while discussing Abigail’s Accent, National Treasure isn’t a film with a lot of subtly or nuance. At least, it wasn’t going to be until it slowly morphed throughout production, as giant collaborative projects tend to do.

Just like Diane Kruger brought nuance and depth to the role of Abigail Chase through both her acting choices and the presence of her accent, Nicolas Cage transformed Ben Gates from a generic action-adventure hero into something far superior: an awkward, obsessive forty year old man.

To fully appreciate the Nic Cage of it all, let’s begin with what the role looked like before he signed on.

More ↓

For those unfamiliar, there’s a version of the National Treasure script available online that’s dated from the month before Cage signed on as the lead. It’s hugely fascinating in the ways it’s the same as, and also wildly different from, the finished film. You can read more about it here.

Age

The first major effect casting had was changing Ben’s age. In the 2003 script he’s introduced as

…intrepid explorer BEN GATES(late 20s, strong family resemblance)

Obviously Nic Cage was not in his late 20s in 2004. Born in 1964, he was 39/40 when the film shot and 40 by the time it came out.

We know from Ben Gates’ drivers license that his character is supposed to be 39 in the first film, as his birthday is shown as May 1965. Why the one year difference? Hollywood is allergic to people over 40. Next question.

So, Ben went from a 20-something to a (basically) 40 year old man. And that changed the story in a few subtle but important ways.

First, it makes Ben’s quest take on a different flavor. To be in your late 20s and still chasing a pipe dream is not that unusual or socially unacceptable. People in their 20s do stupid, impulsive, risky things. They are socially ‘allowed’ to be a mess. At 40, not so much. Ben’s peers have houses and families and kids who need to be taken to soccer practice.

This makes a difference to me because it emphasizes the desperation of Ben’s quest, and his absolutely unwavering belief in the treasure. It also paints a starker contrast between Ben and his father, because when Patrick was 29 he was still gallivanting around treasure hunting too. By the time Patrick was the age Ben is now, he had disavowed treasure hunting and “grown up” into a normal life. But Ben just won’t let go. The older Ben gets, the less hope Patrick has that he will eventually grow out of it. At 29 that kind of hope would still feel possible for his son. At 39, it probably doesn’t.

Hotness

I’m so sorry that we have to talk about this, but we do.

Ben Gates was clearly written to be played by a hot young actor. That’s hot as in popular, and also as in sexy.* A typically implausibly fit and handsome leading man. This is evidenced not only by his age, but by the two (2) shirtless scenes written for Ben in the 2003 script.

Ben Gates is supposed to be hot.

And Nicolas Cage is...I'm not going to say "not hot," lord knows I'm on the being-normal-about-that-old-man webbed site but sex appeal not the primary reason you cast him.

What Nic Cage is know for is being weird.

*I’m aroace and vaguely sapphic, help me I don’t know what I’m doing here.

Weirdness

Weird. Eccentric. Zany. Over-the-top. Melodramatic.

These are the qualities Nicolas Cage is famous for, but they aren’t qualities the role of Ben Gates necessarily calls for. In fact, too far in any of these directions, and the performance could push an already implausible movie over the edge into farce. We wouldn’t take Ben or his quest seriously enough to get invested in the story.

But Nicolas Cage knew that. For as absurd as the iconic “I’m gonna steal the Declaration of Independence” line is, it's the premise that's ridiculous, not the performance. This isn’t the place to find one of Cage's signature zany performances. Search any number of "Craziest Nicolas Cage performances" lists and National Treasure won't rank. He tones it down enough that Ben feels like a rather grounded person in an over-the-top story.

However, he doesn’t tone it down completely, and that is so important.

The little places where Cage lets a hint of his signature weirdness flicker through round out Ben as a character, and give him more (or at least a different flavor of) nuance than he might have had in other hands, particularly if he were cast and played as a typically suave and macho leading man.

Case Study (Cage Study?)

Let’s look at this line from the 2003 script. This is what the FBI has to say when they’re searching Ben’s apartment.

AGENT JOHNSON Profilers say we're looking at an adult male, a loner, has a high IQ but has never been able to hold down a job, is socially inept, has probably written numerous letters to the White House expressing antigovernment sentiments. We're expecting him to contact us shortly with ransom demands.

This line is supposed to show us how off the mark the FBI is in their theory. The joke is that they’re all wrong about Ben.

Except, are they?

In this version of the script, every one of these items after “adult male” is incorrect.

Ben’s not a loner; he’s been working with Riley for 7 years.

He hasn’t not been able to hold down a job, he’s been salvage diving and treasure hunting consistently.

He’s not socially inept; he’s a ladies man. We hear multiple references to past girlfriends, and of course there’s Patrick’s assumption that Abigail's pregnant.

And obviously he hasn’t expressed anti-government sentiment and has no plans to ransom the Declaration, even in exchange for his own freedom.

What I want to argue here is that with the casting of Nicolas Cage, most of these false assumptions about Ben became true, at least a little bit. Of course there were many forces at work shaping the final tone and content of the film, but all of them—writing, directing, acting, costume design, etc—became oriented around fitting this character to the man playing him.

Loner

In the final film, Ben is a bit of a loner. He doesn’t seem to have known Riley for that long, and he immediately gets betrayed by the only other person he’s close to. His status as an outsider is emphasized by the fact that he and his family have been ostracized from the historical community.

In the 2003 script, this element isn’t present and Ben gives a fake name for other reasons. We also meet his landlady, whom he’s very kind to, and hear about at least one former girlfriend. In short, we get a sense of the web of people in Ben’s life outside of the treasure hunt. In the final film, Ben is seemingly much more isolated.

Job

We also get no evidence about Ben’s job. The 2003 script makes multiple references to Ben working as a salvage diver, which might not be what he hopes for, but it is a clear profession. In the final movie we only get reference to Ben being trained at the Naval Diving and Salvage Training Center, which implies that he’s qualified to work at a salvage diver, but gives no indication that this is what he regularly does for work.

We also have Patrick saying:

PATRICK I have a job, a house, health insurance. What do you have?

The contrast makes it clear that Ben doesn’t have any kind of consistent job. Now, my guess is he does still work salvage jobs in this version, and that’s how he affords his apartment and the other things he needs to keep treasure hunting, but it’s never directly mentioned.

As to why he doesn’t hold down a job, the obvious answer is that it would interfere with his relentless pursuit of the Charlotte and the Templar Treasure. It makes sense that he simply chooses not to keep a consistent job because that’s not compatible with his goals. However, I want to raise the possibility that Ben would struggle to hold down a job even if he tried. If, say, he needed some expensive new diving equipment and took a several months long “normal” job in order to afford it, I think he’d be constantly distracted by the treasure and might quit and/or get fired the next time he needed to dash off on a lead.

Socially inept

Likewise, in the final movie, Ben is charming and clever and all the things a leading man is supposed to be, and also awkward and fairly socially clueless.

On the Charlotte he seems surprised that Ian and his guys turn out to be armed criminals, so either he was so desperate for resources and support to continue the hunt that he’s in denial or he’s very bad at reading people. Or at least, very bad at reading Ian. Maybe both. (There’s also the matter of his very poor attempt at bluffing in this scene.)

He’s awkward with Abigail in their meeting in her office, and even more awkward giving the toast. She even points out to him that he says the poetic things that are on his mind even though most people know they're not supposed to do that.

Then of course we have the “cavalier in my personal life” exchange, which I plan to dig into in depth at a later time, but for now let’s leave it at: Ben is not always on the same page as the people he’s in relationships with.

And there’s the very strange reading of the line “really?” after Ben and Abigail survive the collapsing staircase sequence. He’s amazed that he’s met someone who would also prioritize a historical artifact over personal safety, and he delivers the line just…weirdly.

Conclusion

He’s weird! (affectionate)

Ben Gates is a weird guy!

By the final film, Ben Gates had become a hybrid of the thing he was always supposed to be—a suave, swashbuckling hero—and the thing he was not supposed to be—a weirdo outcast on the fringes of society.

To draw a comparison to another popular Disney adventure flick that came out the year before: Ben was supposed to be the Will Turner of National Treasure, the hunky young underdog who always gets the girl. By casting Nicolas Cage and letting him bring a little history and a little weirdness to the role, Ben Gates ended up edging just a liiiiiiittle bit into Jack Sparrow territory as well.

He occupies both spaces, and I think that duality serves to deepen his character and make him far more interesting than if he was a straight-forward action-adventure hero.

Hooray for weird middle-aged men.

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

I’m doing a little collab with my lovely moots @straykidsreactionsandscenarios and @ateezreactionsandscenarios throughout April. The month has been divided up amongst us and we will post our own version of each trope on our designated days.

We used a random name generator to assign us days and all the ones highlighted in red (because my name is Ruby, duh) are the idols I'll be writing for.

Guidelines:

I will be using randomly generated 'smut' dialogue prompts from this blog:

My fics will be on the shorter side, around 500-1K.

All will contain smut and be 18+.

All of my fics will have a gn!reader so this series is accessible to all.

I also got a little bit too excited and wanted to use a random kink generator so all these drabbles will have an assigned kink too (the random kink generator had some INSANE kinks omg but I'm going to try my best).

If you want to join in please feel free, you can write for all tropes listed or a select few of your choice, just use #stayteez trope’pril in your tags so we can see them 😁

I am so excited as this is my VERY FIRST COLLABORATION with such amazing writers and I can't wait for you to all read them.

Day 1 - Enemies to Lovers - Yunho

Day 2 - Enemies to Lovers - Minho

Day 3 - Enemies to Lovers - Changbin

Prompt: 'I could take you right now'

Kink: Fantasy Au

Day 4 - Exes to Lovers - Mingi

Day 5 - Exes to Lovers - Jeongin

Day 6 - Exes to Lovers - Han

Prompt: 'I'm going to ruin you'

Kink: Exhibitionism

Day 7 - Strangers to Lovers - Hongjoong

Day 8 - Strangers to Lovers - Felix

Day 9 - Strangers to Lovers - Yeosang

Prompt: 'You're such a tease'

Kink: Somnophilia

Day 10 - Everyone can see it except them - Wooyoung

Day 11 - Everyone can see it except them - Chan

Day 12 - Everyone can see it except them - Jeongin

Prompt: 'What if I hurt you?'

Kink: Dacryphilia

Day 13 - Roommates - San

Day 14 - Roommates - Seungmin

Day 15 - Roommates - Jongho

Prompt: 'Shh, there's people in the other room'

Kink: Mutual Masturbation

Day 16 - Fake Dating - Seonghwa

Day 17 - Fake Dating - Han

Day 18 - Fake Dating - Mingi

Prompt: 'Show me how much you miss me'

Kink: Restraints

Day 19 - Friends to Lovers - Yeosang

Day 20 - Friends to Lovers - Changbin

Day 21 - Friends to Lovers - Felix

Prompt: 'I shouldn't allow myself to get this close to you'

Kink: Aphrodisiacs

Day 22 - Friends with Benefits - Jongho

Day 23 - Friends with Benefits - Hyunjin

Day 24 - Friends with Benefits - Seonghwa

Prompt: 'It's hot when you talk back'

Kink: Intercrural Sex

Day 25 - Brother/Sister's Best friend - Yunho

Day 26 - Brother/Sister's Best friend - Jeongin

Day 27 - Brother/Sister's Best friend - Wooyoung

Prompt: 'You better watch your f*cking mouth'

Kink: Camming

Day 28 - Childhood Best Friend - Mingi

Day 29 - Childhood Best Friend - Han

Day 30 - Childhood Best Friend - Hyunjin

Prompt: 'Letting me use you like this'

Kink: Clothed Sex

Taglist: @destiny-fics @umbralhelwolf  @starsareseen   @hipster-shiz @creativechaoticloner @cherry-0420 @lino-jagiyaa @mischiefsmind @scuzmunkie @mrcarrots @reighlee-greaves @junieshohoho @partywithgyu @kodzukein @whatsk-poppinhomies @yeosdarling @hologramhoneymoon @dilucpegg3r @marievllr-abg @craxy-person @itbtoblikethatsometimes @gyuhanniescarat @staytinyinmybpack @thirstybchanstan @necessiteez @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @hijeongguk @berryberrytan @notastraykid @sensitiveandhungry @laylasbunbunny @sometimesiwritethings @bluelove24

If you would like to be added to the taglist, please let me know:)

[impishtubist]

I think we've discussed this but I need more chaos: what do Sirius and Teddy do for pride? either the parade or the month generally 😇

I know I've answered this before and I have absolutely no idea what I said, so we're starting with a fresh slate here:

I think Teddy's way more into it than Sirius is! He's going to festivals with his friends, and all the Pride events throughout the month, and all the parties he can find. He makes out with different people sometimes, too, but never anything more than that. Sirius is cool with it, because he knows that Teddy always comes home to him, and frankly, trying to keep up with a 20-year-old is exhausting.

Sirius isn't super into the whole Pride things. He hates crowds and people that aren't the Potters or the Lupins. Sure, he'll go out to a club or party with Teddy now and then, grind against him on a dance floor and then take him home for some marathon sex, but it's not super often. He's happy to let Teddy do his thing throughout the month and he spends his time working on his motorbike or spoiling the grandkids.

Teddy does get him to come to the parade, though. Teddy goes all out with his outfit and his hair. Sirius is more reserved, maybe putting some pins on his leather jacket, but he's happy to make out with Teddy in public or hold his hand or sling an arm around his waist. The wizarding tabloids get some photos of them and Remus sulks about it for like a week. He can't even have a sad wank about how hot his ex looks in leather because his son is also in the photos :(